#those are just the ones i found saved in my bookmarks

[honeycreammilkshake]

Now that Gege basically fumbled Yuji's and Sukuna's story so we have to live through fanfics, do you have some sukuita recs? I trust your opinion haha

hi, anon! i am so sorry for the late reply in this. i don't actually read a lot of fanfics but i do know of a few really good ones that you should give a try if you haven't already!

swallow my desire and choke on it by skittyspice (T)

Yuuji shouldn't miss Sukuna but he does.

Separation Anxiety by yuujispinkhair (E)

AU where Yuuji has memory loss as a result of a ritual that separates him and Sukuna.

keep your heart inside (my hands won't keep it safe). by steponimmortals (T)

Heian Era AU where Sukuna learns to have feelings.

caught up in each other's trap by jenjenpup (M)

The 5 times Sukuna refuses to help Yuuji and the one time he does.

to mend bricks by daffodilsfall (E)

Yuuji's big brother goes away to study, but comes back married. Historical AU. This one has some disturbing themes and a yandere-like Yuuji, just in case that isn't your cup of tea.

Blood in the Cut by 4riadne (T)

When Yuuji starts coughing up flower petals, no one expected that the King of Curses was the lovesick one.

[sciencebecameouraddiction]

title: no, you’re the monster

author: sciencebecameouraddiction

fandom: hazbin hotel

rating: G

genre: angst. like super angst.

pairing: alastor x reader

summary: As the hotel has gained notoriety in Heaven, after more souls are redeemed, an idea of allowing those at the hotel to talk to their Heavenly family is put in place. The only thing is Alastor has never even once, tried to use it to talk to his mom. What’s the worse that can happen when he does use it as you offer the idea up to him?

As the hotel gained notoriety and after a few more souls had been redeemed, Heaven started to finally collaborate with Charlie on redeeming sinners. One of these ways was for sinners to have a weekly call via a special portal to talk with their loved ones up in heaven. Which Angel and Alastor likened to prison. Charlie didn’t care though because it was “progress”.

The idea though, was to create a connection in heaven that sinners would want to work towards. Most of the hotel patrons and staff used their calls weekly. You remember Angel’s first call talking to Molly as he cried realizing she was up there and hearing her sobbing, thanking him for protecting her in life. Encouraging him to do better so that she could hug him. Needless to say, after that call Angel gave up just about everything and really set forward on a path to redemption.

The only person in the whole hotel who hadn’t used these portals were yourself and Alastor. Your whole family had been awful to you save for your sister and she was still alive. You had checked. Alastor on the other hand, you had heard him mention his mom. He talked about her fondly and made her special jumbalaya on occasion. You figured that he would use the portals to talk to her, but he never did. So, one night when sleep was evading you again, you found a chance to ask as you were sitting in the lounge reading and everyone had gone to bed.

“Another late night where sleep’s tender hold evades you my dear?” Alastor said, appearing on the couch across from you. You jump a bit and chuckle.

“You know me too well Al.” You say and put your book down. “How was your day?” You ask him, as he materializes a book to read. You remember the first time you asked him how his day was, he asked you why you wanted to know. You had to explain you were being nice and it was something friends did. He questioned you on your use of the term friends but let it slide.

“It was well enough. I took a trip over to Cannibal Town. Rosie says hello.” He chuckled. He had introduced you to Rosie after you wouldn’t stop begging him to come with to Cannibal Town. You wanted to see more of the Pride Ring but it was scary, up until traveling to the hotel, you stayed in your apartment mostly. Except for work down the street. So, why wouldn’t you want to go to Cannibal town when you had scary dog privileges with Alastor?

“Awww, really? I love that. I’ll have to come with you over there soon, if you don’t mind of course.” You say, dog earring your book page so you don’t loose it. Alastor scoffs seeing you do that.

“Why you choose to ruin books is beyond me.” He mutters. “And of course you may, Rosie may have my head if I didn’t say yes.” You nod.

“How else am I supposed to save my place Alastor?” You ask him.

“With a bookmark.” He explains, conjuring one up and it floats over to you, his magic opens your book, smooths out the dog ear and then places the book mark near the spine. You roll your eyes.

“With how you treat books I am sure you are devastated to know that the library of Alexandria was burned to the ground.” You say, your voice monotone, closing the book.

“Absolutely devastated.” Alastor grins and then goes to reading his book. You sigh, and ready yourself to ask him the question you’ve been wanting to for a while.

“Hey Al?” You ask quietly.

“Hmm?” He murmurs not looking up from his book.

“Can I ask you a question, and you promise not to get mad at me?” You say. He looks up at you, his eyes scrutinizing you as he motions for you to continue.

“So, today was portal day for everyone. And I’ve seen everyone use the portal to talk to loved ones in Heaven, but I’ve never seen you use it. And the way you talk about your mom… Don’t you want to talk to her?” You ask, looking up and your eyes widening as a darkness falls on his face. “I’m sorry, I was just curious. I can leave you alone as I think I’ve overstepped.” You say starting to get up.

“Sit.” Alastor says, a tentacle appearing and pushing you back down. “You’re… fine. I just don’t think my darling mother wants to see her darling son… like this.” He says motioning to himself.

“But if she loved you and you her-“ You start, being cut off by Alastor.

“She was the only one to love me in life.” He whispered.

“Exactly.” You say and gently cross over to his couch sitting next to him. “Wouldn’t you think she’d want to see you again, regardless?” You say earnestly.

“Well, I suppose…” Alastor starts.

“And would it not help you to have a conversation with her?” You go on.

“I’m not being redeemed dear.” He chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“No, I know your sentiments on that. But wouldn’t it be good to talk to her. Not to encourage redemption, but just to catch up?” You say. “If it were my sister, I would love that. I know when she dies I’ll be doing that, I don’t plan on being redeemed, because I want to stay here and help with the hotel. But I’d still want to hear her voice again.” Alastor sighs and looks off, you can see his jaw tighten.

“I apologize if I’ve prodded too much. I can go if you’d like.” Wanting to remind him you could give him space but a small part of you realizing this was good progress as he hadn’t freaked out on you yet. You celebrated the small victory.

“Maybe I will put my name down for next week my dear.” Alastor acquiesced.

“If you wanted to do it now while everyone is sleeping you can.” You smile and hold up the portal key. “The portals stay open until midnight. They started doing that because Charlie and Emily talk a lot.”

Alastor looked at you, his eyes wide. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can even leave the room if you’d like me to. Or we can wait it’s up to you.” Alastor breathes and it’s like watching a war be fought on someone’s face with the emotions running through his eyes.

“Would you stay with me?” He asks, sitting up and fixing his suit jacket and ears, taking a breath.

“Always.” You whisper and his eyes widen. He nods at you.

“You sure about this?” You ask one more time. “You can say no and I’ll forget we ever had this conversation.”

“No, go ahead.” Alastor breathes. You stand up and look forward. You place the key in the air turning it and hearing a click. As the portal opens, a directory is pulled up.

“What was your mom’s name?” You ask, waiting.

“E-Evangeline. Altruist.” Alastor says almost breathless. You find her and look back at Alastor.

“One more time, I’m making sure, you want to do this?” You ask holding your hand to him. He takes it and stands up.

“I wouldn’t have accepted if I wasn’t sure.” Alastor says shortly. Giving off his confident air but his eyes were unsure.

“Okay. I can pull the plug at anytime too. Just let me know.” You press the name and the screen brightens and then Evangeline comes into view. Alastor gasps, his eyes wide and his hand squeezes yours.

“Evangeline Altruist?” You ask as she looks down at you. The portal must have appeared on a table.

“Yes, who is this?” she asks confused. You explain what your name is and that this portal allows those in Hell to communicate with loved ones in heaven. You explain that there is someone who would like to talk to her and does she accept the call. She does and you step out of the way and motion for Alastor to step in frame. He breathes and slowly does so, seeing his mother for the first time in who knows how long. There’s a gasp from his mother as she murmurs out his name.

“Hi Mama.” He whispers. The radio effect gone and a southern sounding accent in his voice as he talks to her.

“Alastor, is that you? You’re in hell? Truly?” His mother cries.

“I-Yes I am. I do miss you dearly.” He says, looking almost ashamed, his ears pin back on his head.

“I had heard the rumors… But I never thought my boy… What have you done Alastor?” She asks, her face twisting. “I don’t even recognize you from the man you were. The man I knew.”

“Mama, please, I-“ Alastor starts his eyes desperate, as he flits over to you and back to his mom. Your own heart shattering. You hold out your hand and he grabs it like a life line.

“No. You are no son of mine. I do not recognize you.” Her voice turns cold, your eyes widen and Alastor’s eye brim with unshed tears. “After everything… this is what you become? A monster?” The disgust in her voice is unbearable as Alastor bows his head and tears fall silently down his cheeks. You on the other hand see red.

“Now, just a damn minute here.” You say stepping back into view and shielding Alastor, still holding his hand.

“This is none of your business, girl.” Alastor’s mother exclaims, anger in her eyes.

“It became my business when you decided to unleash your bullshit on your son with me here. This was my idea, having him come talk to you, because out of everyone here at the hotel, he hadn’t made any contact with the woman who he holds in such high regard. So i figured, you held him in the same regard.” You start and get cut off.

“I loved my son, in life and in death but what he has become is worst than Lucifer himself.” Evangeline continued on. You felt your hand shaking with the strength of Alastor’s quiet sobs.

“No. Nope. That’s where you are wrong. Alastor has worked at this hotel night and day to help people be redeemed. He protects this hotel from those that wish it harm, he protects the patrons and Lucifer’s daughter Charlie. He is genuine, and while he has made a numerous amount of wild missteps in life and in death, he is trying to be better. I see it, the staff at the hotel sees it, his friends see it. And if you choose not to know him or you care not to get to know him, that is entirely your loss. He is not the monster, you are.” You say as you pull out the key, and start to end the portal. “Don’t call for him either. If he decides he wants to actually talk to you again, it will be his choice.” You say as the portal closes and the last words you can hear are ‘I’m sorry.’

“A little too fucking late for that.” You murmur pocketing the key. You turn and your heart breaks seeing Alastor’s tears paired with a smile.

“You don’t have to smile with me you know that right? Nothing I know about you would I ever use as a weapon against you.” You say as you cross over to him slowly, looking for any signs that he didn’t want comfort. Even though you felt like the last person who should be allowed to do so as this was your idea. You reach up and caress his cheek, wiping away tears that continued to spill.

“Alastor, I am so so sorry.” You say, tears coming to your own eyes. “I should have never suggested… I am so sorry.” You say again, bringing him down as he willingly folds into your arms.

“Can you take us to your room?” You ask, knowing he would never let any show of real emotion happen out here. He nods and suddenly you’re in the middle of his bed that has been moved into the forest he added in his room. You gather him to you and he sobs, his head in the crook of your shoulder and neck, as he grips onto you for dear life. There’s something even more heart wrenching as all walls fall and you can hear his natural accent, no radio effect at all, through broken words of ‘I’m sorry’, ‘She hates me’ and ‘I’m a monster’. His shadows darkening the space and the one shadow that always followed him looking so distressed.

“Alastor, if she can’t see the good in you then that is her own blindness. Darling, I can see it. Charlie sees it. You have changed from when you first got here. Hurt people, hurt people. And I think you’ve been hurt for a long while. It’ll take time, but I ain’t going anywhere. You’re not a monster to me.” You assure him as his sobs somehow become even worse hearing you. You gently rock him back and forth, and look up at the sky he produced for the forest. A perfect replica of the night sky on Earth.

“When I was back on earth in my 20’s, my sister would get upset and would go out to the roof. Anytime I found her there, I’d hold her and tell her stories of the stars. Do you want me to do that?” You ask. Wanting to take Alastor’s mind off of everything. You feel him nod and you smile slightly, pressing a kiss to his head, feeling him stiffen at the affection and hug him tighter.

“So there’s this group of stars that makes up a virgin maiden that they named Virgo. Many people say that Virgo’s constellation represents Persephone, the daughter of the Greek Goddess Demeter. Persephone in some stories was kidnapped by Hades, Lord of the Underworld. Demeter’s grief at loosing her daughter, abandoned her post as Earth Goddess, which caused crops to wither and the earth to grow cold.” You recounted one of your sisters favorite tales. Feeling Alastor’s cries fade and his body relax. “Because of this Zeus ordered Persephone to be put back on Earth, but along her travels she mustn’t eat anything.” You continue, gently wiping the tears off Alastor’s face with your oversized shirt. He doesn’t protest and just looks up at you, his eyes rimmed red but the self hatred you saw before not as prominent. You smile at him while you finish. “That’s why Hades gave her six pomegranate seeds, which she ate. Meaning that she would spend six months of the year with Hades and six months with her mother.” You feel Alastor sigh, and you think this is when he will get up and pretend none of this happened, fortifying those walls again. That doesn’t happen. He draws you closer to him, his body laid over yours and his head resting on the left side of your chest where your heart was.

“Tell me another.” He requests, not looking up at you but looking out into the forest. You smile and glide your fingers through his hair, stopping to pet his ears every now and again as you begin telling the story of the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper, astronomy stories being whispered well into the night until you both were fast asleep with a blanket Alastor had pulled up over you both.

[call-of-daydreams]

𝐵𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓎- 𝐵𝒶𝓃𝑔𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓃, 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝒾𝒻𝓉𝓈 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝟣𝟤 𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓊𝓅 𝓉𝑜 𝒞𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓂𝒶𝓈 𝒹𝒶𝓎. 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝒹𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝓊𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝑔𝒾𝒻𝓉𝓈 𝑔𝑜 𝓊𝓅.

𝒞𝓌: 𝐹𝓁𝓊𝒻𝒻, 𝐸𝓍𝓅𝑒𝓃𝓈𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝒾𝒻𝓉 𝑔𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔

Chan and Y/n were the best of friends, they had been through everything together. But Chan had a secret, he was secretly in love with her. As Christmas approached, Chan hatched a plan to express his feelings. Each day leading up to Christmas he left her a small gift. The first day it was a small necklace, a token of their friendship. As the days went on, the gifts became more and more extravagant. By Christmas day, Y/n had twelve gifts awaiting her.

Day 1: A necklace- 

Dec.14, 2024, Y/n was getting ready to head to work, opening her front door of her apartment she noticed a small gift. Nothing too big, just a small bag sitting outside her door waiting to be opened. Y/n looked around to see if she could find out who left it. But she found no one. Carefully she unwrapped the gift finding a box inside of the small bag, she carefully set the bag on the ground so she could open the small box. Inside was a small silver necklace inside from Chanel. Shocked, she grabs her phone out of her pocket and takes a picture, sending the picture to her best friend Chan to alert him of what she just found outside her door.

Chan was in the middle of his morning routine when his phone buzzed. He looked at the screen and saw a picture of a small silver necklace. His heart skipped a beat, was it really the first day of his Christmas plan. He quickly replied, feigning ignorance.  

"Hey, that's a pretty necklace! Where'd you get it?"

Y/n chuckled as she read Chan's response, he was trying to act like he had no idea what she was talking about. Despite his attempt to play coy, she knew him better than anyone. She replied with a sly reply.  

"Oh, you know, I found it mysteriously appeared outside my door. Maybe a secret admirer?"

Chan couldn't help but smile at Y/n's response, she was always sharp and witty. He played along, trying not to give away his plan too quickly.  

"A secret admirer, huh? Well, whoever it is obviously has good taste. The necklace would look beautiful on you."

Y/n was touched by Chan's compliment, feeling a flutter in her chest. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but she couldn't help but feel like there was a special meaning behind the gift. She quickly sent another message.  

"Thanks, it's really lovely. But who do you think left it? You must have some ideas."

Chan's heart began to race as Y/n inquired about the necklace. He wondered if she had any clue that it was him. He quickly typed back a response, trying to remain calm.  

"Hmm, I have a few guesses, but I can't say for sure. Maybe it was one of your coworkers?"

“Maybe, I’ll ask when I get to work.”

Day 2: A pair of earrings

Dec. 15, 2024, the next day was Y/n’s day off. Lounging in her living room reading a book, Y/n hears a knock on her door. Putting a bookmark in her book to save her spot she throws off her blanket and gets up, heading towards the door. Opening the door she looks around, seeing no one she goes to close the door, thinking its a kid ding-dong ditching her. That was until she looked down, another gift. In the same size bag as the last, she picks up the gift and closes the door. Again, she opens the baga and finds another bag, expecting another necklace she opens the box, but this time it’s earrings. Dior earrings. Again she sends a picture to Chan, needing answers.

Chan was in the middle of practicing some music when he heard his phone go off. He picked it up and immediately saw the picture he had been anxiously waiting for. It was another gift, this time a pair of earrings from Dior. He couldn't help but smile when he saw how beautiful they looked against Y/n's skin.  

He quickly typed out a response, still playing coy.  

"Wow, those earrings are gorgeous! Whoever your secret admirer is, they have great taste, no doubt about that."

Y/n couldn't help but chuckle at Chan's response. She knew he was trying to play it cool, but there was something about his messages that seemed off. She decided to push a little further.  

"Yeah, they're really beautiful. But seriously, you must have a clue, right? You know me better than anyone else, who do you think it is?"

Chan felt a pang of excitement. Was it possible that Y/n was trying to guess if it was him? He quickly typed out a response, trying to keep up his facade.  

"Hmm, well I have a few guesses, but they're all just that, guesses. Maybe someone from work, or someone you dated before."

"I asked around at work and it was nobody."

Chan felt his heart skip a beat when Y/n mentioned that no one at work knew anything. He knew he had to play it cool, but he was secretly ecstatic.  

He quickly replied, continuing his act.  

"Oh really? Well, perhaps it's someone from outside of work then, or an old friend who wants to remain anonymous."

Day 3: A bracelet stack

Dec. 16, 2024, Back on her daily schedule, Y/n starts getting ready for work again. Walking out her door she finds yet another gift bag, same size as the last 2 but this time it’s in a bigger box than the past 2 gifts. Opening it, she finds a new apple watch and a band that has 3 bracelets attached. It was pretty but now she started to believe that these gifts were being sent to the wrong person with how much was being spent on these gifts. Again, she sends a picture to Chan.

Chan was nervously waiting at home for another picture from Y/n. He was surprised and impressed by himself for managing to pull off all this gift-giving so far. So when he saw her picture, he felt a wave of excitement mixed with a hint of nervousness. She had found another gift, and this time it was a bracelet stack with an Apple Watch. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of worry, worried that she might start getting suspicious.  

He quickly typed out a response, still trying to stay aloof.  

"Whoa, that’s some pretty fancy stuff there! Whoever your secret admirer is really likes you, no doubt about it. Any new ideas on who it could be?" He paused for a moment before adding one final line. "But seriously, that watch is awesome!"

Y/n read Chan's response and felt a small pang of confusion. She noticed his comment about the watch, which seemed a little suspicious. Was he trying to change the subject? Or maybe she was overthinking things. After all, he always liked tech.  

"Yeah, the watch is cool. But I still have no idea who's sending all these gifts to me."

Chan felt a rush of panic when Y/n wrote back, stating that she still didn’t know who the secret admirer was. He had hoped his comment about the watch would throw her off his scent, but it looked like he was in for a bit of a challenge. Taking a deep breath, he replied again.  

"Well, whoever it is, they certainly have good taste and a lot of money to throw around. Maybe they’ll reveal themselves soon enough."

Day 4: A new iphone, airpods, and ipad-

Dec. 17, 2024, The next day she finds a slightly bigger and heavier bag than the last few days. She brings it inside and opens it, being more shocked than the last few days at receiving more electronics that she knows cost a lot of money all together. Looking more at the gifts y/n realises that she not only received a new phone and ipad but they also had cases on them so more money was spent on this gift. So like the past 3 days, she sends a picture to Chan.

Chan's phone dinged and he saw the picture Y/n had sent, his heart rate picking up. She had found the fourth day's gift, and it was a big one this time. An iPad, airpods, and a new phone, all together had to have cost a fortune. He wondered if she was starting to get suspicious.  

He quickly typed out a response, pretending to be clueless.  

"Whoa, what a haul! Your secret admirer must really like you, spending all that money on you."

Y/n was getting more and more suspicious. Now she has received a brand new iPhone, iPad, and Airpods. It all felt really extravagant. She couldn’t help but ask herself who would spend so much money on her. Was it someone she knew? An old friend?  

She read Chan's response, feeling a pang of annoyance. He seemed completely unruffled, while she was getting more confused with each gift.  

"Yeah, it’s a lot of money, don’t you think? I mean, who buys all that for someone they’re secret about?"

Chan could feel the unease in Y/n's words through her texts. She was starting to question the gifts more and more. He tried to maintain his cool, but he couldn't help but feel a bit worried.  

"Yeah, it is a lot of money. It’s definitely weird. But they must really like you, that much is clear."  

 He added a light-hearted emoji at the end, trying to make it seem like he wasn’t rattled.

Y/n saw the emoji and felt a pang of anger. Was Chan really this unbothered? She was starting to feel like maybe she was being a bit paranoid, but the whole situation still felt strange. She replied back, her annoyance now coming through in her response.  

"You're not finding any of this weird? Someone spending thousands of dollars and not revealing themselves?"

Chan tensed up as he read her message. She was definitely annoyed now, and he could sense her suspicion growing with each day. He quickly responded, trying to calm her down.  

"Of course, it's weird, it's all very strange. But maybe they have their reasons for being secretive? I mean, it is the season of giving, right?"

Day 5: Doughnuts (Pretend there’s 5 doughnuts)-

Dec.18,2024, Y/n woke up on the morning of the fifth day, feeling both excited and anxious to see what gift would be waiting for her. Was it going to be more expensive tech? Or maybe something more personal? As she looked out her window, she noticed a small box sitting outside her apartment door. Curious, she quickly pulled on her jacket and walked outside to pick it up. She brought it inside, opening the lid to find a dozen doughnuts. She was momentarily confused. Was this her gift? No expensive jewelry or electronics? Part of her was relieved, maybe the first 4 days was just to reel her in and now she’ll be getting gifts like this. Excitedly, she grabs her phone and sends a picture to Chan.

Chan was pacing in his apartment, waiting anxiously for Y/n's picture. He had gone through many emotions since starting this gift-giving tradition, but today he was feeling nervous. Would she like the simpler gift? Or would she be disappointed?  

When his phone dinged, he quickly checked the picture. She had found the box of doughnuts. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

Chan quickly sent a message back, pretending to be surprised.  

"Donuts? That’s an interesting choice. Maybe your mystery admirer has a sweet tooth?"

Y/n chuckled when she read Chan's message. It was typical of him to comment on the food aspect of the gift.  

"Yeah, I was sort of expecting a bit more than just some pastries. I'm starting to wonder if the first four days were just a ruse to reel me in."

Chan’s heart skipped a beat as he read her message. She was definitely starting to become suspicious. He quickly typed out a response, trying to downplay her theories.  

"Well, maybe they just wanted to switch things up for today. Who knows what they have planned next?"

Day 6: A ring and necklace set-

Dec. 19, 2024, Y/n woke up on the morning of the sixth day, her excitement growing with each passing day. She couldn’t help but wonder what gift she would receive today. As she looked out her window, she noticed a small box outside her apartment door. She quickly pulled on her jacket and ran out to retrieve it. She carried the box back into her apartment, opening it to find a set of rings and a necklace. She couldn’t help but gasp at the beautiful jewelry. Y/n was overwhelmed by the lovely jewelry, the set was absolutely stunning. She immediately thought that this was a lot more intimate than the previous gifts, which made her question who was sending them even more. Eager to share her discovery, she grabbed her phone and sent a picture to Chan.

Chan was sitting in his apartment, nervously awaiting the next picture from Y/n. This day’s gift was more personal, and he wondered how she would react. When his phone dinged, he saw a picture of the jewelry. His heart skipped a beat as he saw how beautiful it looked against her skin.  

He typed out a response, playing it cool once again.  

"Wow, that's lovely. Someone sure has good taste."

Y/n chuckled at Chan's comment. It sounded like typical him, always remarking on the object rather than the underlying meanings of the gift, or who was sending them.  

She typed back a response, a hint of playful annoyance in her tone.  

"Yeah, great taste. Shame I have no idea who this mystery person is."

Chan chuckled as he read Y/n's response. He could hear the faint hint of annoyance in her words, but it was mostly playful. He knew she was growing more and more curious about the gifts, and he was enjoying keeping her guessing just a bit longer.  

He typed back, trying to keep a straight face.  

"Yeah, it's a real puzzle. But hey, it's kind of exciting, right? You never know what you'll get next."

Day 7: Books-

Dec. 20, 2024, Y/n woke up on the morning of the seventh day, feeling a mix of curiosity and anticipation. She wondered what gift would be waiting for her this time. As she looked out her window, she noticed a small box sitting outside her apartment door. She quickly pulled on her jacket and ran out to retrieve it. She carried the box back into her apartment and opened it, finding a stack of books inside. Y/n was surprised to find a bunch of books in the box. She began to rummage through them, they were all from her favorite authors. She couldn't help but feel touched that her mystery admirer knew her taste in literature so well. She quickly snapped a picture and sent it to Chan.

Upon seeing the picture of the books, Chan couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. He knew those were some of her favorites, and he was glad she was happy with the more personalised gift. He typed out a response, again feigning surprise.  

"Books? That's a nice surprise. They seem to know your taste really well!"

Y/n chuckled when she read Chan’s response. It was like him to comment on the books rather than the person who had chosen them.  

She typed out a response, a mix of curiosity and annoyance.  

"Yeah, they sure do. It's kind of strange, how they know so much about me but won't reveal themselves."

Chan read her response, sensing her growing curiosity and slight annoyance. He knew she was starting to get more frustrated, but he couldn't reveal himself just yet. He typed back another message, trying to sound casual.  

"I know, it's quite the mystery. But it might be part of the fun, no? The suspense of not knowing who it is."

Day 8: Heels-

Dec. 21, 2024, Y/n woke up on the morning of the eighth day, she was growing excited with each gift she received. She couldn’t help but wonder what was waiting for her this time. As she looked out her window, she noticed a long medium-sized box outside of her apartment. She quickly put on her jacket and ran outside to grab the box. She carried the box back into her apartment and opened it, revealing 8 pairs of gorgeous heels inside. Y/n was stunned by the stunning pairs of heels. They were not only her exact size, but they were also exactly her style. She couldn’t believe someone had picked out such perfect shoes for her. She quickly grabbed her phone and snapped a picture, sending it to Chan.

Chan waited anxiously for the picture, knowing today’s gift was a bit more extravagant. When the picture finally arrived, he couldn’t help but let out a low whistle.  

"Wow, someone likes to spoil you. Lucky you."  

He typed back, keeping up the appearance of nonchalance.

Y/n chuckled at Chan's response. She could practically hear his tone of feigned nonchalance through the text.  

"Lucky? More like weirded out."  

She responded, her curiosity starting to mix with disbelief.

Chan chuckled as he read her response. He knew she was getting more and more bewildered by the gifts, which was exactly what he wanted.  

"Well, you should be grateful. Some people would kill to get showered with presents like that."

Day 9: Perfume-

Dec. 22, 2024, Y/n woke up on the morning of the ninth day, feeling a mixture of excitement and curiosity for what the day's gift would be. Looking out her window, she saw a long, slender box outside her door. She quickly put on her jacket and went outside to retrieve the box. Opening it back in her apartment, she found 9 bottles of expensive perfume inside.

Y/n was momentarily stunned as she took in the vast array of perfume bottles before her. There must have been at least 10 different bottles, mostly all of them being designer brands. She had never received such an extravagant gift before. She immediately grabbed her phone and took a picture, sending it to Chan.

Chan couldn’t help but smile when he saw the picture of the countless bottles of perfume. It was a bit overdone, yes, but he wanted to convey his intentions through the gifts. He quickly replied to her text.  

"Wow, someone really wanted to impress you, huh?"

Y/n chuckled as she read the message from Chan. She could almost hear the hint of satisfaction in his voice.  

She typed back a response, her tone a mix of curiosity and disbelief.  

"Impress? More like overwhelm. I mean, who buys 9 bottles of perfume?"

Chan chuckled, it was amusing to see how overwhelmed she was by the gifts. He typed back, still trying to play it cool.  

"Maybe they just wanted to ensure you smell lovely all the time."

Day 10: Chocolate covered strawberries-

Dec. 23, 2024,  Y/n woke up on the morning of the tenth day, feeling a mix of curiosity and excitement. Today's gift was bound to be different from the others, given its uniqueness. Looking out her window, she noticed a small container outside her door. She quickly pulled on her jacket and ran outside to retrieve the container. Bringing it back inside, she opened it to find an assortment of decadent chocolate covered strawberries wrapped in ribbons. Y/n was absolutely enamored by the beautiful arrangement of the chocolate covered strawberries. It was a simple yet intimate gift, and she couldn’t help but feel touched that someone would send something so thoughtful. She immediately sent a picture to Chan, awaiting his response.

Chan’s heart skipped a beat as he saw the picture. The chocolate covered strawberries were arranged so perfectly, and he couldn’t help but think they represented his feelings for her perfectly. He quickly texted back, trying to hide his emotions.  

"Someone has a sweet tooth."

Y/n chuckled at Chan’s response. She could imagine the slightly teasing tone in his voice.  

She typed back her own reply, playing along.  

“I guess so. Someone sure knows my weakness.”

Chan chuckled as he read Y/n’s response. It was good to see her in a lighter, happier mood.  

He quickly typed back, his own tone slightly suggestive.  

"Well, I’m sure that person is more than happy to keep you well supplied with chocolate.”

Y/n’s cheeks flushed at Chan’s response, there was a subtle flirtation behind his words. She tried to push that thought away and tried playing it cool herself.  

She typed back, a little more playful this time.  

“Is that so? Are we sure they’re not just trying to fatten me up?”

Day 11: Honey Lavender White Chocolate Truffles-

Dec. 24, 2024, Y/n woke up on the morning of the eleventh day, feeling a mix of curiosity and excitement. She had grown accustomed to the daily gifts, but she still looked forward to each new one. As she looked out her window, she noticed a small container sitting outside her door.  

She quickly pulled on her jacket and ran outside to retrieve the box. Opening it inside her apartment, she found an assortment of hand-crafted honey lavender white chocolate truffles inside. Y/n was stunned by the beautiful box filled with homemade chocolate truffles. They were unlike anything she had ever seen before. The honey lavender combination sounded absolutely heavenly. She quickly took a picture and sent it to Chan.

Chan was sitting at his own apartment when he received the picture from Y/n. He couldn’t help but smile as he saw the beautiful truffles, satisfied that she seemed to like them. He quickly sent back a response, feigning nonchalance.  

"Looks like someone is being treated like royalty."

Y/n chuckled at Chan’s response, knowing that he was probably hiding his true emotions. She typed back to him, a slight tease in her tone.  

“Or maybe they’re just indulging in their royalty kink.”

Chan almost choked on his drink as he read Y/n’s text. He wasn’t expecting that particular response, but it thrilled him nonetheless. He quickly composed himself and texted back, his own tone flirtatious.  

“Well, can you blame them? You deserve to be spoiled.”

Y/n’s cheeks flushed slightly at Chan's response, she wasn’t expecting him to be so direct. She wrote back, trying to keep up the banter.  

"Are you sure it's about me being spoiled or you just wanting to be the one to spoil me?"

Day 12: A bouquet of flowers & Chan-

Dec. 24, 2024, Y/n woke up on the morning of the twelfth day, feeling a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Today's gift was different from the others, as a single flower arrived with a note that simply read 'Come outside.' Curious, she stepped outside to find Chan standing there, holding an elegant bouquet of her favorite flowers. Y/n was stunned to see Chan standing there, holding the beautiful bouquet of flowers. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but his presence immediately made her heart flutter.  She cautiously approached him, unsure of what to say.  

"Chan… what are you doing here?"

Chan smiled nervously, his heart pounding in his chest as he held out the flowers to Y/n. He had been both anticipating and dreading this moment for days.  

"I have something I need to tell you," he said softly, his eyes locked on hers.

Y/n took the flowers from him, her hands trembling slightly from nervousness. She could sense the seriousness in his tone and knew that something big was about to happen.  

"Okay... you can tell me. What is it?" she asked quietly, her gaze fixed on his face.

Chan took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say. He knew there was no going back after this.  

"Y/n, I..." he paused, struggling to put his feelings into words.  

"I know you’ve been receiving those gifts lately. And I’ve been the one behind them."

Y/n's eyes widened in shock as she took in his words. She had suspected that he might be the one behind the gifts, but hearing it confirmed still felt surreal.  

She looked at him, trying to process this information.  

"You... you've been sending me all those gifts?"

Chan nodded, his heart racing as he saw Y/n's reaction. He had planned on confessing to her for a long time, but now that the moment was here, he felt both relieved and terrified.  

"Yes, I have. I wanted to do something special for you, and sending those gifts seemed like the best way to show you how I feel," he said quietly, taking a small step closer to her.

"You didn't need to buy me all of these expensive gifts"

Chan shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips.  

"It wasn't about the gifts themselves. It was about making you feel special and letting you know how much I care about you."

Y/n’s heart skipped a beat at his words. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, and it made her feel both thrilled and a little overwhelmed.  

"You care about me that much, huh?" she asked, a hint of vulnerability in her voice.

Chan reached out and took her hand in his, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through her body.  

"More than you know," he said softly, looking into her eyes.  

"I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time, but I was afraid you might not feel the same way."

"You've got to be insane if you don't think I feel the same way about you Chan. Look at you, you're so incredibly handsome."

Chan’s heart soared as he heard her words, his anxieties instantly melting away. He couldn’t believe that she felt the same way about him.

"You think I’m handsome, huh?" he asked, a hint of cockiness in his tone.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully, secretly loving the way he puffed out his chest.  

"Don’t get cheeky with me, mister. You know you’re a total hottie."

Chan’s cocky smile grew wider, his ego boosted by her compliment. He took another step closer to her, shortening the distance between them significantly.  

"Oh, I know I am,” he said teasingly, his gaze locked on hers.

Y/n felt her heart rate increase as Chan inched closer to her, his body only a few inches away from hers now. She could practically feel the heat radiating off of him, and it was driving her wild.  

She tried to regain her composure, but the way he was looking at her made her knees weak.

Chan could see the effect he was having on her, and it only fueled his desire. He was so close to her now that he could feel her breath on his skin, and it was all he could do to hold back from claiming her lips right then and there.  

Instead, he reached up and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering against her cheek.

Y/n shivered at the feeling of Chan's fingertips grazing her skin, the sensation sending a wave of heat through her body. She leaned into his touch, almost instinctively, her eyes darting to his lips for a brief moment.  

The tension between them was electric, and Y/n could feel her resolve weakening by the second.

Chan couldn't resist the pull any longer. The desire that had been building up inside him for months was too strong to ignore.  

He slowly leaned in, his eyes still fixed intently on hers, as if asking for permission.  

His free hand slid around her waist, gently pulling her closer until their bodies were almost pressed against each other.

Y/n's heartbeat thundered in her chest as Chan drew closer, her body tingling with anticipation. She felt the warmth of his hand around her waist, pulling her in, and the only thing she wanted to do at that moment was close the remaining distance between them.  

She looked up at him through her lashes, silently giving him the go ahead.

That was all Chan needed, before Y/n could even register what was happening, his lips were on hers. His kiss was gentle yet firm, a mix of sweetness and neediness that took her breath away. His hand on her cheek moved to the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair, holding her in place as he deepened the kiss. 

Y/n reciprocated the kiss fiercely, her hands sliding up his chest and around his neck, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them. She had fantasized about this moment for so long, and now that it was finally happening, she couldn’t get enough of him.  

Every touch, every sensation, it was all so overwhelming yet so incredibly perfect.

They pulled away from each other, "Merry Christmas" Y/n whispered to Chan.

Chan chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners with happiness. "Merry Christmas to you too," he replied, his voice low and hoarse.  

He pulled her into a tight embrace, holding her close against his chest. "You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that," he murmured into her hair.

[etherealspacejelly]

i think its kinda sad that we've made reader-insert/self-ship into this super cringe thing that no one wants to be associated with even if they enjoy it.

like, this isnt a criticism, i feel self conscious about reading reader insert fics sometimes, but like. on a fic i wrote that has nearly 900 hits and over 100 kudos, it only got 6 comments. compared to a canon x canon fic one of my moots wrote with a similar number of hits, they got 44 comments. that is a crazy difference. my fic also got 24 bookmarks!! 24 people liked my fic so much they wanted to save it so they could come back to it, but only 6 of those decided to actually tell me that (im presuming, some of the commenters may not have even bookmarked!)

and like, yeah, maybe some of it is accounted for by the quality of the writing, or the length of the fic, but i think most of it is from this internalised shame that people have of being associated with reader insert fic. they dont want their name in the comments section because it could be found by someone who knows them i guess. but in that case it becomes a "girl what were YOU doing at the devils sacrement" moment, yk? if your friend finds that comment, they were already reading the fic and went to the comments. presumably to leave a comment themself

im trying to get better about this myself because i know what its like to post something and get no feedback (or very little), but i also know it can be nerve wracking to leave comments on things that you feel are embarrassing or shameful. im sure smut writers must face a similar problem, especially the kinkier ones.

idk where im going with this. its just a lament i guess. i wish we could all enjoy stuff enthusiastically without being ashamed of it.

[emptymasks]

Old Web European Musical Sites

So this post started because I was looking through the waybackmachine on the Internet Archive for the old Disney Fairies site for a friend, and remembered I'd backed up some old musical related sites a couple years ago on the waybackmachine just to archive them.

Which made me remember how recently I saw someone on here, I don't remember who, asking if there were interviews either about Elisabeth das Musical or specifically with Uwe Kroger (the actor who originated the role of Der Tod/Death) in English to which someone had answered no but there are some quotes and fragments in other posts on here. Which made me remember an old website I'd found that did have interviews on and I went out to find it. After I found it, I tried to find another website I'd found that had nice old photos of Uwe on that I'd save for I'd never seen them anywhere else, but sadly can no longer find the site and I hadn't bookmarked it or archived it. But, in doing so I did find some others.

So, come along with me as I find some ye olde websites based around European Musicals and Non-English Musicals, all of which I am archiving using the waybackmachine and can be found on my archive.org account @ wennli3b3 under the 'web archives' tab on my profile.

What is old web? The aesthetics wiki describes it as "Essentially consisting of screencaps and gifs, Old Web is an aesthetic utilizing traditional web design elements combined with aspects of poetry and self-expression. This also includes GIFs, video games, and clip-art. This aesthetic expresses nostalgia for Internet culture of the early 1990s to early 2010s." Think of old GeoCities and AngelFire websites, the pre-2010s internet where it wasn't uncommon for anyone to make their own little website for anything and the internet wasn't just social media. There's just such a charm for me about these old sites and the work people put into customising and decorating their sites, often just as a fun project for themselves or a way to document things they loved. Therefore the websites we'll be looking at are from the 90s up to the late 2000s, 2010s and onwards websites don't count for this list.

What is the waybackmachine? The waybackmachine is hosted on the Internet Archive, it's a digital archive of websites that lets you visit websites as they were during the past if they've been archived there.

[Note: this post won't have clickable links because that can make Tumblr unhappy and either hide or soft-block my post, so sadly no clickable links, but I will write out the links with spaces in the hopes that won't hide the post and you will just have to type them in for yourselves, and I will link my web archive page in the replies to this post. I am also not claiming to be the first to back these sites up or discover them, some of them have already been archived in past, but doing them all under one account means you guys can have an easy list of them all in one place. Some of these sites no longer exist and are only accessible via the waybackmachine, in those cases I will save those sites to my web archive so they are all listed on one page.]

1. musicalvienna . at

Staring with a website some of you will be familiar with and while in it's current 2023 form doesn't count as old web and is easily accessible, we're going back in time with the waybackmachine to see how the site looked and what information it had about old current productions in 2000-2008. And frankly I don't know what to do with the information that at some point in 2000 there was a 'vampire museum' inside the Raimund Theatre that had what appears to be a wax figure of Steve Barton in his original Graf von Krolock costume. I. What??

2. eljen . net / kroeger

A fansite dedicated to Uwe Kroger, the actor, that was run seemingly from 1998-2002 that old photos, links to music that no longer work, but most important to me is the 'Press' page that has many articles and interviews with Uwe that have been translated into English! The site is also available in German eljen . net / kroeger / deutsch. A special shoutout to Uwe's own drawing of himself as Der Tod.

3. eljen . net / elisabeth

Run by the same person as the first site, in fact it is technically the same site however if you go to the root eljen . net there is just a blank page with a link to the /kroeger site, there's no direct link to the Elisabeth site, you can only find it through googling or having the direct URL.

4. iukc . de

The Uwe Kroger fanclub webite seems to have started around 2000 but it was taken offline sometime after October 2021 as going to the URL now leads to a 404 error page, but the site is still accessible using the waybackmachine. On a 2019 capture of the website it states this fanclub was dissolved on December 31st 2019 and was advertising the uwe-kroeger-community . com website as a new fanclub. Some of the pages are available in English and Japanese, but all of the pages are only available in German. The site includes information about the fanclub, as well as lists of Uwe's work, discography, and more.

5. gudrun-kauck . de

A site that as far as I can tell is run by someone just documenting their life and things they see, and that happens to include many musicals. Down the left side of the site there are pages for The Phantom of the Opera, Tanz der Vampire, Ludwig, Concerts, Musicals and Actors. Here there is so much information, interviews, photos, screenshots, transcriptions of scripts and lyrics, articles, and more. This site is a real treasure trove. It's been updating since at least 2004 and it's most recent update was in 2023. This site is in German.

6. jimsteinman . com

The Tanz der Vampire page on Jim Stienman's website has links to lots of articles, interviews and photos for the original 1997 Vienna production and the 2000 Stuttgart production. This site is in English.

7. carpe-jugulujm . com

Another site that is no longer active and can only be accessed via the waybackmachine, it was online by 2006 and taken offline between late 2021 and 2023. It has information on productions of Tanz der Vampire between 1997 and 2009 and is one of the few if not the only place I've found information about the 2000 Estonia production. This site is in English.

8. geocities . ws / mymusicalworlds

This website is all in Chinese, however parts of it are in English and German. It lists information on different musicals, actors, and has lyrics for songs, and photos. It also has midi files but, as with almost all of these old sites, the download links no longer work.

9. theatre-musical . com

This website started around 2002 and was closed some time in 2016, if you go to the website now all you'll get is a message saying the website has been closed, however the old pages are still accessible via the waybackmachine. There's pages for many musicals with lots of information about each show and each of these musical pages has a link to a page that lists other sites, official and fanmade, that are about this musical. There's many more sites to find via

10. elisabeth-fanclub . de

A fansite dedicated to Elisabeth das Musical, more specifically the 2001 Essen production and 2003 Vienna Revival. This site includes information and photos about these productions. It was online by 2004 and was taken offline some time after 2007 and is only now available via the waybackmachine. This site is in German.

11. sisi-net . de

While this site is more dedicated to the actual real Empress Elisabeth, it also has a page dedicated to Elisabeth das Musical which includes several articles and interviews for the 2001 Essen production. There is also some information on here about the Ludwig musical. This site is in German. It was online by 1999, in 2008 the site was empty and "'"under construction" and after 2008 seemed to have either had it's domain sold or hacked and became used for something else, and by 2019 was offline.

12. geocities . com / broadway / 8851

Another site that is dedicated to the real person Elisabeth, but also has information about multiple productions of Elisabeth das Musical. The site was started in 1996 and is no longer online as GeoCities no longer exists as a website hoster, but can be accessed using the waybackmachine. This site is in English.

13. elisabeth-musicpage . de

A German fansite for the 2001 Essen production of Elisabeth das Musical that contains information about the show, merchandise, photos, etc. The site was online by 2002, went under construction in 2005 and after 2006 went offline and only accessible via the waybackmachine. This site is in German.

14. elisabeth-das-musical . de

The old official site for the 2001 Essen production of Elisabeth das Musical. It's only accessible via the waybackamachine however all I could access is this homepage as the site seems to require flash player which no longer exists. The site was made in 2001, by 2006 it was redirecting to a different website that no longer exists, and by 2008 it was just offline.

15. sissi . nl

The official site for the 1999 Dutch production of Elisabeth das Musical. The site went up in 1999 and is no longer online and only accessible via the waybackmachine.

16. marloes . info

A site where someone cataloged every musical they saw between 1996 and 2004. Some of these listings link to their reviews of the musicals and pictures they took (the pictures of Elisabeth das Musical really interest me because they went on a night where Jesper Tyden was understudying for Der Tod (he usually played Rudolf) in teh 2001 Essen production).

17. danceofthevampries . com

The official site for the 2002 Broadway production of Tanz der Vampire. Whilst we all have... feelings about this production, the site's design is very of its time. It has information on the (re-written) plot, cast, downloads for the original English demo recordings (that no longer work), and more. In 2002 the cast page lists the Broadway cast, after the shows closure in 2003 these pages advertised the 2003 Hamburg cast, and by 2006 it now advertises the 2006 Berlin cast, and then even by 2012 that page was no longer being updated. This site is now only accessible via the waybackmachine, I don't know when exactly it went offline but I remember being able to acccess it back in 2020. This site is in English.

18. tanzdervampire . de

The official site for German-lanuage productions of Tanz der Vampire from 2000 to around 2004, mostly the 2003 Hamburg production. Some pages of the site sometimes redirect to musicalwelt . de, like the 'galarie' page that links to a page of many paintings by Mike Schöbs of the original 1997 Vienna production. The site is only accessible via the waybackmachine, sometimes I have difficultly loading the pages, and sometimes the pages on later dates redirect to stagegholding . de which no longer exists or works.

19. tanz-der-vampire . de

A fansite for the 2003 Hamburg production of Tanz der Vampire that is still online. It has info about the musical and this production. The page I found the most interesting is the info > links page. It has a list that includes screenshots of websites from around 2003 with official and fanmade sites for different actors from the musical (such as Marjan Shaki, Maike Switzer, Aris Sas, Thomas Mülner, Jens Janke, Ian Jon Bourg, Kevin Tarte and more) most if not all of these sites are on the waybackmachine (and I'm saving them to my own web archive page rather than listing them all here, Tumblr has a text limit and an image limit and we're already running close to it).

20. fuer-sarah . de

A fansite dedicated to actors who played Sarah including understudies, alternates, swings, and dancers who played Sarah/Solo Female Dancer in the dance sequences in Tanz der Vampire. This site is in German and is only available via the waybackmachine and was active between 2001-2005.

21. musicalland . de

A fansite dedicated to musical theatre with some more specific pages dedicated too Elisabeth das Musical, The Phantom of the Opera, 42nd Street and Mamma Mia. The site is still online and stopped updating in 2010. This site is in German. The link to the Elisabeth das Musical page no longer works, but can still be accessed using the waybackmachine.

22. old-hickory . demon . co . uk / jim

A fan page for composer Jim Steinman that has pages about his non-musical work as well as his musicals Tanz der Vampire and Whistle Down the Wind. The Tanz der Vampire pages include lyrics in German and English, as well as the entire original 1997 Vienna libretto translated into English, as well as the 2000 Stuttgart production's programme fully translated into English that includes information and interviews. The site is in English and only accessible via the waybackmachine.

23. romeojulietmusicals . com

A fan site for the French musical Roméo et Juliette that has pages dedicated to many different language productions with cast lists, information, lyrics and lyric translations. There are galleries on the site but the images on longer load. This site is in English and was online between 2004 to 2008. There is a 'related links' page that contains so many more links to other musical sites.

24. compat . tf1 . fr

A fan site for Roméo et Juliette for the original 2000 Paris production containing images of the cast, and video interviews and behind the scenes with links that no longer work. This site is in French.

25. mozartbudapest . hu

The official website for the 2003 Budapest production of Mozart das Musical. This website is only accessible via the waybackmachine, it contains the cast list, a bio of Mozart (the person), but sadly most of the image no longer work. I mention it here only because when i opened it I was surprised the original logo animation and music still played. This site is available in English and Hungarian.

26. notredameonline . com

During 2000-2001 this URL was for the French musical Notre Dame de Paris and you can see this via the waybackmachine. The site then went offline after 2001 and the domain was sold and since 2006 has belonged to the University of Notre Dame. I really like the design of this site, sadly most of the links open pop-ups that no longer work. The site is available in French and English.

27. notredamedeparis . it

The official site for the 2002 Italian tour of Notre Dame de Paris. It has a lot of information about the musical and this specific production. This site is in Italian and is only accessible via the waybackmachine.

28. geocities . ws / dreamcatcher182004

A fansite dedicated to a few musicals that was last updated in 2003. It has pages for Chicago, Les Mis, Miss Saigon, The Phantom of the Opera and Tanz der Vampire.

.

So yeah, that was a list. I hope that was interesting or for anyone wanting to find more information about these musicals for research, essays, or just for fun, that this post was helpful or interesting in some way. There are a lot more websites than just the ones on this list, however Tumblr has both a photo and a character limit for text posts. Hope someone found this interesting. I just like making lists.

[misshuntereevee]

.˳·˖✶𓆩𓁺𓆪✶˖·˳.༄ sylus au where you are a reporter .˳·˖✶𓆩𓁺𓆪✶˖·˳.༄

more than 100 likes on this, and i'll make it a multi-chapter fic! i'm kind of loving the whole idea of mc being not a hunter!

you met in this lifetime because you started an expose on onychinus and are trying to find any and all info on him that you can

you think you're always finding him, but 9/10 he's letting you find him. he likes how cute you are when you think you've got him

sylus admires your dedication, though he really always has, no matter what lifetime you two are in

he sometimes plays informant, especially if he thinks the info he'll give you will stop you from doing something more drastic to get it

sylus has def saved you from an investigation you shouldn't gone to alone

you love to play a game of "how much can i uncover" about sylus, which is hilarious, because every time you tell him something you found, he chuckles and says "i would have told you that, had you asked... but good work kitten."

sylus is even more insistent that you carry one of his handmade weapons in this au. he doesn't necessarily like the fact that you're always getting into trouble/looking for it

"you wrote a rather scathing piece on onychinus -- you're not mad at me, are you, kitten?" "no, but i'd tell those henchmen to be a little less sus" "i'll get right on that, sweetie."

sylus starts randomly appearing on your investigations, much like he would in the normal verse on your hunts. he feels better knowing he's there with his evol to stop anything bad from happening

in the bedroom, he takes pleasure in taking the control, which you love since your whole job can make you a control freak. it's nice to let him just take care of you... which is his favorite thing to do

add "my little journalist" to your list of nicknames from him

oh how happy you were the first time he came to you for information

you realizing that sylus keeps a one drive of all the articles you've written with bookmarks for his favorites

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s) 9

Part 8 / AO3 Link

Eddie felt like he blacked out. One moment he was on stage, playing his heart out, the next, Steve was leading him by the hand back to his car. Eddie had come to the venue with one of his bandmates, instruments in the back. When they got to Steve’s car, the keys were put in his hand.

“Your place”, Steve said, going around to the passenger side.

Eddie nodded hurriedly and in a rush of movements, they were off. He worried for a split second about the state of his apartment but those thoughts were pushed out when he felt Steve’s hand on his thigh. In the close space of the car, Eddie could smell him so deeply. He took a deep breath. 

“You looked great up there”, Steve said. “Have you been playing long?”

“Since I was a kid”, Eddie answered, wishing with all his might that they could get a red light just so he could look at Steve at least once. It had been only a few minutes but even that was too long. “My mom put a guitar in my hand and it was like…nothing was ever the same.”

“A natural.” Steve started to stroke his thigh. 

They came to an apartment complex and Eddie led the way up to the third floor. They got to his place and he paused as he unlocked the door. He turned to Steve with a sheepish expression.

“Gimme just one minute.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Eddie, I live with a child. A little untidiness isn’t going to turn me off.”

“I’d rather not welcome comparisons to a kid”, Eddie said.

“Fair enough. Go on, go and spruce it up before I see.”

Eddie thanked him and then went inside. Steve could hear movement from behind the door and after about a minute, Eddie opened it again. Steve took everything in and looked around. It had the makings of the usual bachelor pad, everything here was clearly Eddie’s. All meant for a single alpha. He smiled when he saw the teacher manuals, bookmarks sticking out from the lesson he’d left off at. 

Part of him wanted to explore some more, see all the little pieces of Eddie that could be found. But then there was a warmth against his back and a nose at his neck. Eddie’s arms snaked around his waist.

“I’d love to give you the grand tour. Starting with the bedroom~”

“I bet you say that to all the groupies.”

“You’re the only one hot enough to make it this far”, Eddie said, turning Steve in his arms. “And you didn’t even have to throw me your panties.”

“Hmm, sounds to me like you don’t even want them tossed to you”, Steve teased. “And after all the trouble I went through…”

“‘Trouble’?”, Eddie perked at that.

“Lead the way.”

Eddie released Steve, holding his hand only to take him to his bedroom. Steve closed the door behind them and then pushed Eddie onto the bed. Eddie leaned back on his elbows to watch Steve make a show of removing his jacket and shirt. Then he unbuttoned his pants and Eddie saw a sneak peek of what was to come. Steve licked his lips as he watched the alpha’s eyes darken and the scent of arousal began to fill the room.

Steve took off everything else, leaving only the black thong. The darkness of the fabric meant that Eddie couldn’t see the wet patch between his legs. But the way his nostrils flared, he could probably smell it. Steve walked closer and Eddie sat up, his hands moving reverently like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to touch.

Taking the initiative, Steve brought Eddie’s hands to his hips. Eddie licked his lips as his eyes traveled up and down the other man’s body, lingering on what must be a sopping wet cunt. He swallowed thickly. 

“When was the last time someone ate you out baby?”

“Well-”, Steve was saved from answering by Eddie diving face first, mouthing at his crotch like a man starved. His knees buckled and one hand went to Eddie’s shoulder while the other went to the back of his head, cradling it there. 

Eddie had been able to smell his wetness. Now he could actually feel and taste it. And it was so. Fucking. Good. He lifted one of Steve’s legs over his shoulders to spread him even more, still licking the fabric and sucking him through it. Eddie felt the leg by his ear tremble and he looked up. The purr that left his body, seeing Steve enraptured because of him, it must’ve traveled from his throat to his lips because Steve let out a purr of his own.

Steve felt Eddie pulled off and nearly let out a whine when he found himself on the bed. His legs must’ve been weaker than he’d thought if he was able to be moved like that. Eddie kissed him sweetly and then kissed down his neck, to his chest. 

“How the hell do you still have so many clothes?”, Steve breathed out.

“Natural talent”, Eddie winked. But he was beginning to overheat, so he paused to started undressing himself. He moved just a tad slower when he realized Steve’s hand was between his legs, stroking himself. 

“Careful Mr. Harrington. I might need to start charging you for the show.”

Steve snickered. “Please do not call me ‘Mr. Harrington’. Makes me think of my students.”

“Alright”, Eddie stripped off the last bit of clothing. “How’s about baby?” He kissed Steve’s ankle. “Or sweetheart?” He kissed his calf. “Angel face?” He gave one of Steve’s thighs a soft bite.

“Yes.”

Eddie peeled off the thong, duty completed and watched a string of slick try to stay attached. It was soaked from them both and Eddie was fighting the urge to stuff his face in it and he wondered how attached Steve was to this particular piece of underwear.

“I can tell you wanna lick it”, Steve said. “But wouldn’t you rather have the real thing?” He used his fingers to spread himself and a thick drop of pre cum dripped from Eddie’s cock. 

Permission given, Eddie dove in, his hips rutting against the bed as he ate Steve out. It was so soft and warm, he felt like he could get lost in it. All Steve saw was a mop of dark curls between his legs but he could feel everything Eddie was doing and it made him see stars. He felt something else prod him and when he looked down, Eddie was gazing up at him, asking with his eyes while his lips were wrapped around his clit.

Steve nodded and then he felt a finger push inside. Eddie treated him gentle, which Steve appreciated. He’d done his best to prep for the night, knowing what he wanted. But the fact that Eddie was taking his time, was enjoying the scenic route. Whenever his mouth left his pussy it was to lick his thighs, to kiss his hips, even to nuzzle his bush like every part of him was worth savoring.

During all this, he spread Steve open, bringing him to the brink before pulling back. Steve wanted to be frustrated but he liked going the long way. No rush, no fuss. He was more than happy to cum on Eddie’s cock. If it was like this now…he could only imagine during a heat or a rut.

Steve was lost in the thought as Eddie pulled his fingers out and reached for a condom. Steve sat up a little and held a hand out.

“Let me.”

When Eddie handed it to him, Steve took his time too. He got up on his knees and scented Eddie’s neck. That aroma was no longer just safety when he was on the brink of rejection sickness. It was a deep fondness, a strong attraction, and the utmost trust. Steve licked his throat and collarbone while looking down and placing the condom onto him. Even just the feather light touches were almost too much for him and he sucked in a breath.

“You don’t know what you do to me, sweetness”, he said as he laid kisses on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve used his fingertip to play with Eddie’s tip. “I think I have an idea.”

Eddie pushed him back down and lined himself up. He waited for Steve’s nod and then began to push inside. Steve waited until he was fully inside and then wrapped both his arms and legs around him.

“Feels so good, you’re so deep, fuck.”

Eddie growled in his ear as he started to move. Steve smelled so delicious. Eddie’s nose was pressed into his neck, fighting the urge to bite, to claim him, to make Steve his own. Steve wasn’t helping things by actually baring it to him, back arching as they pushed and pulled into each other. Everything about Steve was telling him to do it, to seal the deal.

Everything but Steve’s own words.

So Eddie stayed his teeth. But he was going to make sure that before the night was through that Steve would be carrying his scent home with him.

Steve was no nun, there had been partners after Billy, here and there, and of course, he had his own heats to deal with. But nothing could have prepared him for the way his orgasm crashed over him when Eddie thrusted just right. He scratched down his back (he’d apologize later) as his cunt squeezed down, trying to take his knot and milk it for everything.

He was still riding the wave when he felt that knot finally come inside and Eddie bit down on his shoulder as he came. For a few moments, all they did was breathe together. Eddie brushed the sweaty hairs away from Steve’s forehead and kissed it. Words lingered on his lips. Words that felt too heavy to say. So for now, he would let his body do the talking.

There was a split second where Eddie thought of everything the words might entail - changing his address, being a sudden parent to a six year old and all that it required, Steve learning about him and vice versa. It all sounded too good to be true. Definitely not the kind of pillow talk after having sex for the first time. So all he said was:

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to pop it in like that”, he said, moving them to their sides.

“It’s fine. Not like I’m going anywhere soon. Hope you weren’t expecting to kick me outta bed.”

“Honey, it’s all yours. I’ll give you the deed and everything.”

“Actually, did you know that until the 50’s there was something called ‘common scent law’ that-no wait, nevermind”, Steve covered his face with his hand. 

Eddie knew that look. The ‘I had to learn something to teach my students and now I have an abundance of knowledge on this obscure subject’. He pushed a lock of Steve’s hair behind his ear and then kissed the hand that was hiding his face.

“We’re gonna be here a while, sweetness. Go ahead and tell me about now defunct laws.”

The way Steve melted, Eddie wished he could bottle it up and keep it forever.

Part 10 coming soon

Tags

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @lololol-1234 @gregre369 @attic-cat-blog

@hippieg1rl420 @spectrum-spectre

[ofmermaidstories]

there’s something so bittersweet and lovely about fanfic, at it’s core. it’s so impermeable, because it’s so individual. fics don’t get finished. fics get lost because they were typed out and sent to friends, in the 70s, and somewhere along the way someone packed it up in a cardboard box and their kids shuffled it to the attic. websites go down. archives get built, but then people lose faith in the story or the canon or the creator and delete them. you read it at like, 3am, and can’t remember the title months later when you look for it again.

the tiktok these comments are from was lamenting about the loss of a favourite fic—it (the tiktok) had 85k+ likes, and over 700 comments, mostly similar to these. people talking about downloading fics to read on a tablet only for them to disappear the next day. using the wayback machine and combing through results, just to find something they loved. i think it’s sweet because it’s so human—how easily we love something, and how easily we lose it. i used to print out my favourite fics, as a kid—i still have a binder of them, buried under yearbooks and the old journals i kept during those topsy turvy preteen years. i could tell you the overarching plot to a Cardcaptor Sakura fantasy AU i read (and loved; it became my personality for months afterwards) but i can’t remember how it ended, or if it even did. i finally broke down and signed up for an account on AO3 specifically to bookmark an old, old fic that i had read somewhere else, years and years and years ago and found again on AO3 only because i accidentally stumbled on the author here on tumblr (i had only found the fic in the first place all those years ago because of a playlist). i used the same shade of lipstick for years purely because a fic i really liked had the main character apply it (it was a limited edition one at the time; i bought my first one from a ebay seller in the UK at double the retail price, lmao) while the love interest watched them, but i can’t remember the name of it, only how it made me feel (and how, for years afterwards, i would wear that shade whenever i felt like the day had something promising to it).

one of the first anon’s i ever got, in the early days of this tumblr, was someone who asked me if it was okay if they downloaded surrender—and of course it was. of course it is. there was a point, during the final stretch when i was trying to write the last chapter, that i almost lost the entirety of what i had written for that fic—and i mean, it was on AO3 by that stage so it would’ve only set me back a chapter or so, but it goes to show how fragile things can be. how sometimes fics only last in tiny ways—because of the unfinished PDF file someone downloads. The patchy memory of someone’s who’s jumbling it and three other fics together. Because someone wore the same shade of lipstick you mentioned, off-hand, for years afterwards.

(this is a love letter to the silent readers; the silent savers. the lurkers. fandom and the internet at large is made of lurkers (eighty-five thousand likes. seven hundred comments). people who saved fics and waybacked them and will reread them, even uncompleted. telling each other we did a good job, that we liked this or we liked that is wonderful, and fun, and a great (and important) way to build a community and has also given me my current friends—but sometimes something you make will matter and live on in a way you will never, ever know. and it’s just how it is. it’s part of the fun and it’s part of the charm. it’s just how we work as people.)

[soscarlett1twas]

Midnight Church Bells

↳ Andrew and his brother sneak out. ↳ 2k words / also available on ao3! ↳ This fic is literally a year old lmao?? I was sorting through docs and found this finished draft, so I polished it a bit and here we are. Please forgive past me if the prose is... how we say 'shit'.

The holidays always snuck up on Andrew the same - sudden and unwelcome, but inevitable. This year, he’d been too invested in his studies, and, surprisingly, his own love life to notice much of withering leaves or decorations, but when he turned on the radio and heard those familiar jingles, he groaned in recognition. 

Really, it was none of those things (despite how much he did tire of those songs) that bittered Christmas for him. It was the fact that once the break started, his family would come calling. And despite all protests, his parents would never let him stay at college during the advent. 

“It’s time for the Lord.” His mother’s voice lifted through the phone he propped up on his dashboard. “And family,” she added after a moment. He resisted the urge to slam his head against the steering wheel, instead opting for biting his tongue. The one time his parents didn’t want him studying. 

Her saying that added to the sting of the season. And family. It seemed that this was the only time of year where that was on her mind. 

Which all led him to the same spot he was every December 24th: Sitting on his childhood bed, with whatever book he was currently reading in his hands, and classical music playing from his phone. 

Reclining into his pillow, Andrew lifted his glasses off and put them on the bedside table, a thumb folding the wings as the other worked as a bookmark. 

Yet he didn’t close his eyes. For one of those brief moments in life, he wasn’t thinking, or sleeping, or doing really anything at all. He was just there, in a limbo between sleep and consciousness, hoping that if he purposely derived himself the next day wouldn’t come as quickly.

And he stayed like that for 5 minutes. Or maybe it was 10, or maybe no time passed at all. But eventually he gave in to rest. No matter what, the morning would come and he’d rather not fall asleep during the already tedious sermons in church. So he set an alarm, put his book on the nightstand, and laid down.

He closed his eyes, and it was like he could hear the ringing already. 

Maybe he did.

A soft patter-ing rang just outside his door, the familiar sound of footsteps on carpet blotting the silence. And just as he was about to roll over, Andrew heard his door creak open, and the silhouette of a man leaned into the room. 

“Want to go on a walk?” He whispered, twinged with a sense of boredom. 

Andrew didn’t even need to turn to know who was asking. “Give me a moment,” he sighed, and motioned to push himself off the bed. 

—

“How did you know I was awake?” Andrew asked, still pulling his overcoat over his arms. 

“Your light was on, I saw it through your door.” His brother responded, turning off their driveway onto the sidewalk. He was slightly ahead of Andrew, but slowed a bit so that they were walking together. 

A cloud of mist formed from his breath as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, pulling the coat closer to himself to save some of his last remaining body heat. A near-midnight flit wasn’t what he had planned, but he’d prefer it than trying to sleep. Besides, this may be the only quality time he could spend with his twin during the break. God knows the time they’ve spent at college has already distanced them enough. 

“So,” he huffed, searching for a topic of conversation. “How have you been?” 

“Fine. Uni’s been beating my ass though - we spent practically the entire week leading up to the holidays in the lab, just sweating over our assignments. Jesus, I’m not even a Biochem major but Chemistry is just not letting up.”

It had been years since he was in a lab, but with the track he was on, he got the stress with ‘crunch time’. “I understand. I’ve recently had to rush a project for my Literary Theory course.” 

“What do you even do in that class?” He questioned, half serious, half mocking. 

“Analyze texts, find out how the culture of the author influenced their works.” He could go on: Literary Theory was one of his favorite classes, no matter how rigorous the course was, but he knew his brother wouldn’t care to hear the details. 

Winding down their street, the two carried on talking about academia with a partial interest, not fully understanding either’s field of study but trying to be supportive anyways. Soughing wind bent branches to a static beat as they approached the neighborhood's egress. By and by they were talking about the more social aspects of their schooling: Andrew’s literature club, the parties either rarely attended, his brother’s friends.

“How has your roommate been?” Andrew asked, kicking a rock under his shoe and watching it roll along the concrete. 

“Good.” He sighed out a laugh. “He’s great, actually.”

Andrew glanced over to his brother, and if the slight warmth in his voice wasn’t enough, the red on his cheeks told him everything he needed to know. He chuckled too, and gave a soft nudge on his shoulder, making them both smile. 

In a weird way, they never needed to tell eachother about any of this stuff. Equal parts the awkwardness that surrounded telling your sibling, your twin of all people, who you were interested in and an unspoken alliance against their parents had kept them from ever openly speaking it. But Andrew knew his brother was into guys ever since they were teens, he just didn’t know if his brother had caught on to his own preferences yet.

The stone made a sharp sound as it drifted over to his brother, who promptly kicked it back to Andrew with the inside of his shoe. 

“Helios, right?” 

His brother hummed in response. 

His mind trailed to the man at his college, the one who he had desperately wanted to introduce to him, and found himself grinning at the mere thought. God, he hoped Isaac would like his brother. 

He opened his mouth, then shut it quickly. What would he even say? He trusted his brother, but to come out was something entirely different, and with Christmas just around the corner? No, he’d wait. Right after, though, he’d tell him. Andrew silently swore it to himself. 

“Honestly, I prefer the dorms to the house.” 

That snapped Andrew out of his thinking. “Really?” 

“Yeah.” He stopped abruptly, and threw his arms out in exasperation. “Isn’t it suffocating to you too?” 

Everytime he was in his room, Andrew could only remember the sleepless nights he spent hunched over and studying. The dining table was a barrage of moments he spent silent as his parents and brother fought. The living room was a danger zone, as he never wanted to catch his parents when they were disappointed in his brother, or worse, him. The whole house could burn down and the only memories that would go with it were the most futile. Worse was, even without flames, Andrew felt like he wadded through smoke every time he was in those walls.

He silently nodded his head. His brother just stared at him, as if he wanted voice confirmation. But how can one speak up against the pyre when its fumes had already scorched his vocal cords? 

After a moment, his brother kept walking, and Andrew followed. “I contemplated not coming back this winter.” He muttered.

“As did I.” Andrew responded, suddenly getting his voice back. 

“What could you possibly be avoiding?” 

A million and one answers filled his head, but none escaped him - no matter what he said, not a single one would measure up to his brother's reasons. So why even bother trying to compare? 

His twin huffed as he turned away, suddenly gaining some distance on Andrew, and he let him keep it. 

For a while, the only sound they made was their shoes against concrete sidewalks and the crunch as they occasionally had to step into snow. Andrew brought his hands up to his face, cupping them to breathe and warm himself up. Normally he kept gloves in his pockets, just in case. But, of course, he just had to forget them tonight. His fingers combed through his hair, forcing him to look straight ahead at his brother's back. Again, he bit his tongue. But wasn’t that what had gotten him into this situation, unintentionally pushing his brother away by not talking? He didn’t understand it, but only continuing the cycle wasn’t going to help anything. 

So he opened his mouth, just in time to slam right into his brother. 

He stumbled, but his brother didn’t flinch. Or even look at Andrew. His eyes remained trained to the tree line, frozen in place. 

Regaining his footing, Andrew tried again. “Dar-“

“Stop.” He whispered.

“No, D-“  

“Shut up, Andrew, just listen.” 

So he did. 

For a few seconds, he didn’t hear anything. His eyes fell where his brother’s were focused, though without his glasses, the details were fuzzy. 

Then, a distant chime hit his ear. 

More followed. 

A symphony of church bells rang, each peal like a glimmer in the air. 

Andrew knew they rang the bells at midnight every Christmas Eve, though he couldn’t remember the last time he had heard them. During mass, he could imagine it would be unbearable. But from here? The sound was quite pleasant. 

As the bells continued, the twins stood there, listening to it all. Andrew was the first to tear his eyes away from the church he couldn’t see, glancing over at his brother through the corner of his eye. It was the first good look he had gotten at him in a long time. 

Andrew hadn’t realized how short a decade was. Though in context of anything else, the last ten years of his life had dawdled. But with his brother? It was like the blink of an eye. One moment they were running and laughing, a mirror image of one another - even the Christmas’ were tolerable. Fun, even. The next, blooming into adulthood - mimics of who they used to be.

In fact, the longer he looked at him, Andrew realized just how much his brother had changed. His hair had definitely grown, locked into a short ponytail that hung low with swooping bangs, and he made the full switch to contacts some time ago. He even got taller, and next to Andrew, he was a lofty inch or two higher. Though that could also be accredited to the boots he wore. (Ashamed to say, Andrew didn’t remember when or how he got them. They certainly weren’t a gift from their parents, but did his brother even have a job to afford them?) He was more muscular, which wasn’t saying much compared to Andrew, but he was certainly leaner. The man never made a mention of continuing his secondary school athletics, but maybe he did as an extracurricular? Again, Andrew was straining to remember specifics. Though, he supposed any reason to play was now null, as originally it was a brilliant excuse to come home late without his parents accusing him of deviancy. 

But he wasn’t too alien to him. There was something still familiar to him, like flecks of gold shining through, no matter how small. After all, they began to sneak out when they were fourteen and are still doing it now. There must be something that still connected them. 

Right?

Just as he had that thought, he missed his brother's pass, and the pebble went flying into a curb. 

They walked in silence for a while longer, bells fading to the wind. Eventually they found themselves back on their driveway, and their silence became deafening as they lightened their footsteps. God knows what their parents would do if they found out they had been out so late.

They followed one another up the stairs, crossed the same hallway, and went to rooms adjoining. There was a time they shared one, but that was before they had moved. 

Andrew slipped open his door, the knob turning slowly as to mute itself. As he slipped in, he turned half-way to see his brother doing the same.

His brother looked up, catching his gaze. 

Andrew saw himself in the reflection of his eyes. They were bitter, burning with… not rage. But a violent form of disappointment. 

Andrew was the center of it. And he could smell the smoke wafting. 

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: Oh, Maker

"The humans are strange and graceful as they explore the garden, explore themselves, explore each other. The trouble is, the humans stare back, which makes him uncomfortable; there’s nothing particularly interesting about him. And, though he rarely admits it to himself, the humans make him lonely; he has no Other to explore." Or: how many times can you take a bath with your best friend before you kiss him?

Length: 57,034 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥

Best for: Mostly Safe in Public, At Home, Angst, Romance, Slow Burn

Triggers: None/ Religious Trauma themes

Read it here, fic by voluptatiscausa

*Minor Spoilers* I've had this fic bookmarked for months, I love this author and all the stories of theirs I've read. But my ADHD often has me piling on more without diving into what I already have saved. So, when I was about to begin the author's latest fic, I paused. I realized I needed to prioritize this story first, and appreciate it fully. And now, I want you to do the same!

This is a pre season 2 "through the ages" story, visiting some of the historical settings we're familiar with and adding new ones as well. We watch as the weight of the world hangs on Aziraphale and Crowley’s shoulders. The impossibility of alleviating human suffering, the pain of being abandoned by their Creator, their Mother, and the lingering desperation for her approval. So when they've burnt out, they turn to each other. They comfort each other with warm intimacy through baths, manicures, brushing each other's hair, each taking care of the other and showing us how holy love can be. It's gorgeous and heartbreaking all at once. Their love is so true, even if they have trouble believing they're worthy of being loved and desired. “It’s because love can’t be earned, sweetheart. It’s given.”

The beauty of fanfic is that it can exceed the canon. This is not just in character; to me it's more in character than the canon itself. The book and show are comedies; they don't have time to dive this deeply into their characters' motivations and histories. And, of course, that's not a bad thing, especially since it brought us all here. But when I read something like this, something that brings a real depth and understanding to the characters, I'm amazed. This isn’t the only fic I’ve felt this way about, but it’s a prime example of that feeling. It’s just that, when I read a story that specifically focuses on their entire 6,000 years together and all the history they’ve gone through, I get frustrated that those moments are played for laughs in the book/show. The Flood, the Crucifixion, the Spanish Inquisition all throw away lines that don’t stop to dive into the wealth of story that’s possible there. I get why it doesn’t linger, I do, but fic narratives are so much more interesting to me than what the canon alone can provide.

This is a deeply moving and powerful story. Full of musings on shame, desire, religious trauma, and the beauty of the world we live in. Life is a terrible and wonderful thing. While this is mostly safe for public, I really suggest making this an at home read. It's a bit heavier, something you want to be in the right headspace for, and it features very rich prose. Never dense or hard to follow, but very beautiful, and you'll want to give it your full attention. I realize I may have made this seem like full angst, but it’s not! There's some wonderful loving fluffy moments to be found as well. Be sure to check out the other works that belong in this series! They are devastatingly good as well. Pair with some fruit for the full effect!

Read it here, fic by voluptatiscausa

[amerricanartwork]

Do you have any tips for drawing? Anything really

Well, "any tips for drawing" is rather vague, so I'll just offer some general advice for now, which is more about how to learn and improve than how to draw any specific thing. If you'd like some more specific advice, though, I'd love to help where I can!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Use references when you're stuck on something! No artist is ever "too good" to use references when they want to draw a particular thing better. References can be photos or other artists' art (ideally with credit depending on how closely your art resembles the original), though I don't use the latter much because trying to copy another artist's style typically doesn't work as well as just keeping the inspiration in the back of my mind and going with the flow.

Speaking of that, finding an art style is a gradual thing, from what I've experienced. To me, it seems to be a thing that develops over time as a result of how different artists solve different problems. You don't have to stress about getting any one "style" with your art; just focus on solving problems with your drawings, and it'll develop its own unique look by virtue of you being a unique person and consciously or subconsciously adding new things to the solutions you find. If you are looking to emulate a specific style, try to pick one that solves problems you have with drawing or (to go off the previous point) appeals to what you enjoy, or perhaps what specific genre of art you plan to do.

To go further, Always look to solve problems. If you're struggling to draw a particular thing, try to figure out what specific part of the drawing is challenging for you, and look for ways to improve on that aspect. If you realize you struggle drawing hands — or even more specific, you struggle drawing hands in dramatic poses where the fingers are curled — for example, set the goal to find a method to draw hands in those kinds of poses, then relax. I usually find a solution to these kinds of problems within days of setting the goal, and I don't even have to search super hard. In fact, sometimes more comfortable methods of drawing certain things just pop in my mind!

Save any tutorials or references you find especially helpful! I like to bookmark YouTube tutorials I like, as well as the blogs or websites of any artists whose work I find inspiring. I also have a HUGE Pinterest board with tons of tutorials on drawing all sorts of things, so that definitely helps!

This is perhaps one of my biggest tips: try to get in tune with your "artist intuition" in a sense. Recognize what things you already do and don't like to draw, not just in the subject, but the general process you use to think about and draw an image, what parts of said art process you enjoy the most (line art, coloring, shading, sketching, etc.), and what kind of art you want to make in the future or what purpose you plan to use your art for. I've found understanding these things about myself really helps figure out which art tutorials will be more or less useful, and which art styles/processes feel comfortable to me. This is not to say you should never seek to improve, but rather, look for a means of improvement that fits your natural drawing preferences and habits. Maybe the Loomis method isn't the easiest way for you to visualize the human head, and another method works better. As long as you get the result you want, the process can be tailored to fit you specifically, even if that means using a process that's obscure or even exclusive to you.

You will never be perfect, and can never stop improving. So don't worry so much about making sure you're "good enough" to draw the ideas in your head. I know it can be worrying to think you aren't skilled enough in certain aspects to bring your ideas to fruition, but because you can never stop improving, if you need to be "good enough" before you can draw the things you love, you'll be waiting forever. So don't bottle up your ideas just because you think they won't turn out very professional. Instead, just do your best in the moment and note what you can get better at afterwards. And worst-case scenario, you can always come back and redraw the idea once you've improved.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Okay, well, this was the stuff I could think of so far right now. I hope this helps!

[python333]

YOU SAID YOUVE 'ALREADY READ ALL THE ONES ON HERE AND AO3'? hello pls rec them i eat up parental dynamics for breakfast lunch and dinner (am currently starving)

I HAVE :3 HERES SOME RECS: literally anything by this person, esp in their grim au, this fic was just the first one i found in my likes -- inner child by meatonfork

situational awareness by mactavsh, reader saves the 141 by themselves!

right behind you by mactavsh, giving recs is actually making me realize how many fics i have liked by them LMAO this one is just ghost but its good trust me

platonic hcs w/ roach and ghost by issdisgrace, love this one, i never see any fics with roach--which is hypocritical of me bcs ive never written any with roach BUT ITS DIFFERENT OKAY

whats so funny? by euovennia, youngest member!reader and doesnt understand why they find stupid things funny!task force 141

as long as im here by kypticcafe, I LOVE THE TROPE IN THIS ONE!! youngest sibling type reader is always my fav (is it because im 14 and view all the cod chars as my moms/dads/older siblings? maybeeee)

i wouldve bookmarked the ones i found on ao3 but i disliked all of them :< no hate to those authors i couldnt find any gn reader ones that had absolutely no romance or flirting or anything and also werent dd:dne!

[deputyrook]

2024 Writing Round-Up

Thanks @soupandsorcery for tagging me!

Tagging: @ex0rin @the-darklings @glitteringdust @darethshirl @gastlygallows @brightaxe @envysnest @fenharael and anyone else who would like to!

words posted: 29,066 on A03 | 3508 misc. on tumblr | 9601 on pythium (some of that is coding, though, so I'm going to count ~7000)

additional words written: 8439

grand total of words: 48,013 (slower year, most of this was written in the last few months- I blame crazy work burnout and recovery)

fandoms: dragon age, rogue trader, saw, bg3, original fiction

highest kudos: 837 on Playing Cards (!!!)

highest hit oneshot: Same fic, Playing Cards, with 5984

new things I tried: Besides learning how to code an interactive fiction game (which has been a fun challenge), I also experimented more with writing in different perspectives.

fic I spent the most time on: I think probably Alliance of Three, I worked on it off and on for a week and then two days straight (20+ hours for sure.)

fic I spent the least time on: I banged out In Her Absence in around 2 hours.

favourite thing I wrote: Either of these drabbles: Chocolate/Kitchen Fluff, or Alliance of Three, though I think Mala Suledin Nadas is the best thing I wrote.

favourite thing(s) I read: In terms of novels/novellas, some of my favourites this year were Blood Standard by Laird Barron; The Murderbot Series by Martha Wells; Thrum by Meg Smitherman; and I've been loving Kushiel's Dart but I'm only 25% of the way through.

Favourite fics this year include (mind the warnings):

River Rushing Through My Veins - LunarLich/ @nerendus

I've read this fic like at least once a month since it was posted. One of those rare fics that hits every note perfectly for me specifically, on top of being gorgeously written.

the hand you deal & pray for rain - mafalda_157/ @darethshirl

Absolutely stunning command of language- and the characterization work that gets done through the prose! Not a sentence is wasted. Also, so hot?

How the Game is Played (series) - TheEvilScribbler

This series had my jaw on the floor. Not just from how brilliantly it's written and how wonderfully in-character everyone is, but from the places the fic is willing to go. Truly, I was gagged.

To Tame a Wild Yakboy - BeeKazoo

In contrast to some of my other favs, this fic is just incredibly wholesome, and was a lovely read. It takes the bones of the good romance story from the game, and makes it a great romance story.

Uccellino - 2Wardens1Blight/ @2wardens1blight

This fic is exactly what I wanted to read after finishing Veilguard. I've read it a few times, and it's made me cry each times. It just brings me a lot of happiness to read.

Pity the Mayfly- envysnest/ @envysnest

Speaking of fics with unbelievably good character writing. The Tav in this fic is one of my favourites that I've ever read. She's a likeable, relatable protagonist, and both she and all of the companions are written with depth and a particularly strong character voice.

Inferior- Anonymous

I would be remiss if I didn't mention this mysterious little fic, which was deleted two days after I bookmarked it. I somehow found it again via Wayback Machine (and saved a copy). The dirty talk in this fic... woof. I'm taking notes.

Finally, everything I've reblogged in my fic-rec tag. I've saved many incredible fics and drabbles there. In addition to those I've mentioned, some of my favourite dragon age writers right now include (in no particular order) @glitteringdust, @writerfromshikahr, @soupandsorcery @ode-to-fury and a number of others!

writing goals for 2025: Definitely to both read and write more in general! I would love to really concentrate on writing this year, both more fanfiction and original fiction. It's something that fell a bit by the wayside this year, and rediscovering how much I enjoy writing has been a really fun process (now that I'm not being crushed by crippling work stress and burnout).

new works: Alliance of Three for my most recent full-length fic; this little Illario/Rook drabble; this fluffy drabble about Lucanis and Rook cooking.

There are so many inspiring fic writers out there whose work I enjoyed this year ♥ There was no way I could include every fic that left an impact on me. But thank you!!!

[writingattemptsxx]

A Small Gift

To get the brothers to let you go to the human world to do some exchange program work, you promised them gifts.

—

This took way too long to write. I'm just glad it's done. I thought some fluff would be nice.

—

A month-long visit to the human world took you away from the brothers. At first, they didn’t like the idea. Some used the excuse of not wanting you to be somewhere without supervision. Some were honest that they didn’t want to be away from you. Luckily with assurance that you would be fine, as well as a bribe of gifts on your return, they relented. You went out and gathered a gift for each brother, hoping they’d love it. You even bought a few gift bags. You did hope they liked it, but you more hoped they’d be less trouble on future trips.

Lucifer - A snow globe - Lucifer’s gift was the first one you found. You went into a gift shop, saw it, and it screamed ‘Lucifer’. Why? Who knows!

Mammon - A key chain - Mammon is usually one of, if not the first to complain about not being with you. Now he can have this with him at all times. Also, it's shiny.

Leviathan - A pack of pencils - You went into a stationary store realizing you were missing something, and they just happened to have a pack of pencils themed around an anime he likes, so you grabbed those too.

Satan - A bookmark - In the stationary store where you found Levi’s gift, there was another thing that caught your eye. There was a small bookmark with cat faces all over it and a fold-out bit to save your specific line.

Asmo - A makeup brush set - Another gift you were actively searching for, and it was pure pink, his favorite color. What’s not to love? It may not be those expensive ones he always buys, but it definitely wasn't cheap.

Beelzebub - A water bottle - Your first thought for him was food, obviously, but you didn't want something the Avatar of Gluttony would scarf down in two seconds. Plus with a water bottle, he can bring it to the gym and his practices.

Belphegor - A blanket - A perfect gift for Belphie. Knowing him, he'd keep it in good condition for centuries. It may only be a blanket, and on the cheaper side at that, but it was comfy.

While you were on your trip you hoped to relax at home, but you forgot something. Something you remembered the second the door opened. There was no relaxing in the House of Lamentation. Ever.

It was very obvious that they were all ecstatic to see you again, but you could tell at least a part of each of them wanted to know their gifts. What did you get them? Where were they? When do they get them? They were way too easy to read.

You told everyone to buzz off while you at least got unpacked. You needed to relax, not be mobbed. You'd give them their gift later, once you settled back in. As you watched each go on and do their own thing, you couldn't help but hope they liked their gift.

—

Lucifer was doing his typical work. Sitting at his desk behind mountains of paper wasn't new, but it still was not the best experience. He saw the door slowly open and started to wonder which brother wanted to get in the way of his work, but instead, you came through the door. You tried your best to be as quiet as possible when coming in and closing the door, which Lucifer greatly appreciated.

Once the door clicked you turned to him beaming. “Luci, I got this for you!” You held up a decently sized blue gift bag, careful to not shake.

“Your gift for me? I was wondering when I'd finally receive it. I hope it’s something I like, you should know me well enough by now.” A smirk appeared as his words poked at you.

Your face changed into a pout and you stuck your tongue out at Lucifer. A bold move, no matter how close you became. You dramatically sighed and put the back of your hand to your forehead, something you no doubt learned from Asmodeus. “I got you this out of the kindness of my heart. You can't be picky about this.” You walked forward and gently placed the bag on his desk.

“We both know it was a bribe so my brothers would let you out of the house.” He, himself, argued against you leaving but now didn't seem like the time to bring that up. “Also teasing you is too fun to stop.”

Lucifer pulled the bag closer and carefully removed some crumpled paper you stuffed in the bag. He reached in and pulled out… “A snow globe?” It seemed like an odd choice gift for him. Granted, it was very pretty. It was a single, yet very detailed tree sitting in the middle of a white plain with the snow of the snow globe also inside. The base was a vibrant admiral blue.

He looked up to you for answers, but you only shrugged in response. “It’s just something I saw that reminded me of you. Don't ask me why.”

Lucifer was silent for a moment only to change into quiet giggles. “Thank you. I love it.”

—

Mammon was pacing his room. You just came home after so long and he had to leave you alone for even longer. He is happy you get to relax, even in this house, but he just wants to hug you before leaving you be again.

Suddenly he heard the door open and whipped his head around to see you. Not only that, you were holding a very small yellow gift bag. Both his eyes and voice lit up seeing you. “Human!” He cleared his throat. “What took you so long?”

“I had to get your gift ready. That is, unless you don't want it.” You held up the bag and gave it a small shake all the while showing a teasing smirk.

The next thing you knew the bag was missing from your hands and found in Mammon’s. “Nah, Nah. The Great Mammon always deserves gifts.” He dug through the crumpled paper and pulled out a small keychain. It was very small, just a shiny gold keychain with a dangling star. He couldn't tell why, but he felt so light seeing it. He just stared at it for what felt like forever.

Suddenly your voice cut through his thoughts. “So… you like it?”

“This gift is definitely worthy of The Great Mammon.”

—

Levi was shockingly out of his room. He was going to go on an anime binge in a bit, so now he was stocking up on snacks. Chips, snack bars, bag popcorn, and anything he could get his hands on that wouldn’t spoil.

“There you are! I thought you’d be in your room as always.” Your voice was quiet but came very suddenly, and it took everything in him to not jump.

He turned around to see you holding up a pretty small orange gift bag as you looked around. You dropped the bag in his hands. Levi stared at it for a few seconds before looking back up at you. “A gift? Also, what's with the house inspections?” He pointed in the directions you were looking between.

“Yes, I said I'd get you all gifts, didn't I? And because I’m not willing to hear the wining of any brother upset they didn't get theirs first.”

Levi shrugged. He wouldn't put it past any of his brothers to take not getting a gift first as something to get upset over. He wouldn't even put it past himself to do that. “Yeah, they totally would. But the gift was a very obvious bribe. I didn't expect you to mean it. I thought you'd at least forget or something, or at least not give me something.”

“Of course, I'd get you something. Now come on, open it.” You were all but bouncing on your toes while staring at him and the bag. He dug through the crumpled paper in the bag to pull out a pack of pencils. Seemed like an odd choice for him, maybe something closer to something for Satan or Lucifer. It was only until he noticed the pencils were patterned with characters from an anime he loved.

His eyes lit up and just barely held in an excited squee. Any merch is welcome merch. Levi shot up and pulled you into a hug. “Thank you!”

—

Satan was reading in the living room. He was reading a book he’d read many times before. He intended to read the book he bought a few days ago, but after starting it he realized his mind kept drifting to you. He was curious how you were, and he wanted to check up on you, but he knew you needed some time to relax before interacting with him or his brothers again.

He started to hear steps that got louder and louder. Eventually, you appeared as the source looking around corners before you turned them. Satan also noticed an extremely small green gift bag in your hand. You held it to your chest as you quickly walked towards him.

“What with the secrecy?” Satan put down his book to give you an amused stare.

You dropped the gift bag on his lap. “Your brothers. That's what. If any of them, even one, learned that I gave one a present before another, I'd never heard the end of it.”

That was completely true for almost everyone in this house. He just let out a sigh and decided to move on. Carefully rifling through the crumpled paper he pulled out a long bookmark. The bookmark was a dark fern-green and littered with cat faces of all colors. There was also a long plastic connection, and on the packaging, it explained that it was meant to save your specific line.

It was just adorable and all the cats making different smiles made his heart melt. Satan held it to his heart and gave you a big smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

—

Asmo was looking his face over in the mirror. He wanted to go out today. But for that, he needed the perfect look that would be perfect in completing his looks. But for that, he needed inspiration. Truth be told, he could go out with no makeup at all, he was already gorgeous, but putting it on was fun.

While he was mulling over his choices, he heard his door slam closed. He turned around, immediately turning into his demon form, ready for a fight.

Instead of seeing an intruder or even one of his brothers, he saw you muttering to yourself about how you didn't mean to be that loud, and that you even scared yourself. He clutched his chest, transformed back, and slumped back down onto his vanity chair.

“Darling, you gave me a heart attack. I thought you were an intruder or similar. My skin will not like this stress.”

You bolted around at his words, as if shocked to see him in his own room. “Sorry! Sorry. I just wanted to close it fast, not slam it. On another note, I got you this.” You held up a small pink gift bag, giving Asmo a big smile.

The gift! He didn't forget about it, how could he forget about a gift for him, but he did push it to the back of his mind to focus on other things. He rushed right up to you, enveloping you in a tight hug. He let go and took you over to his vanity. He gently took the present from your hands. He removed the crumpled paper, dropping it into the trashcan.

At the bottom of the bag was a small set of a few pastel pink makeup brushes and a blender. It was small, but it seemed of good quality. The thought put into the gift melted his heart. Gently setting the brush set down, Asmo pulled you into another tight hug. “Thank you! Also, you just gave me the perfect inspiration for a new makeup look!”

—

Beelzebub was working out in his room. All he had were a few handheld weights. He wanted to go to the gym, but he couldn't find any will to actually go. He wanted more to make sure you settled back in as well as possible.

He was mid-routine when you quickly opened his door, stepped through, and closed it, careful not to slam.

“Hey Beel, got you something.” You quickly walked over to him and placed a pretty big red gift bag in his hands. Inside it was stuffed full of crumpled paper. He dug around for only a second before his hand touched hard plastic and he pulled it up. It was a giant red gallon water bottle. The plastic was translucent, there were measurements on the side, and the side was even carved out to make a handle.

“I thought you could bring it to the gym or practi-” Before you could finish, Beel pulled you into a massive bear hug that lifted you off the ground.

“Thank you! I love it!” He gave you one of the biggest smiles he could.

—

Belphie was sleeping as usual. He was in the observatory. All the stars were calming and the room was usually silent and dark. It was his perfect nap spot. Well, it was until about a minute ago when someone started shaking him awake. “Belphie. Belphie. Wake up I got something for you.”

He let out a groan and grabbed the hand you decided to disturb him with. “Can’t it wait? Just put it down next to me or something. I'll pick it up when I get up.” Belphie rolled onto his back and fell back asleep within seconds, but he only slept just as quickly as a big gift bag was roughly placed on his stomach.

“Rude.” He opened his eyes to see a really big purple gift bag and pulled it down so the top faced him instead of getting up. He slowly dug out all of the crumpled paper, dropping it on the floor to deal with later.

After a few seconds, he pulled out a folded blanket. It was a cow pattern, similar to his favorite pillow, and it was super fluffy and soft. Just touching it made him sleepy.

“Like it?” Belphie just looked at you for a few seconds, contemplating if he should pull you into his nap. Eventually, he decided and tugged you down next to him, covering you both with his new blanket, and drifted back to sleep in another few seconds.

—

Lucifer’s snow globe was kept either on his desk or on a shelf. He found comfort in even just staring at it, but every now and then he shook it to see the snowfall.

Mammon’s keychain was a permanent fixture on his phone. He took it everywhere and showed it off at any chance he could.

Levi kept his pencils in package with his other merch, not wanting to ruin them, but they were always near the front of any display he made.

Satan used his bookmark for any book he could. He adored it and kept it as pristine as possible.

Asmo started using his new brushes almost instantly. Even if they were not the fancy brands he typically uses, they worked just as well. The fact it was from you also helped inspire some looks.

Beel took his water bottle practically wherever he went. When anyone pointed it out or asked questions, he'd happily gush about his new gift.

Belphie’s new blanket became his favorite one. Even just touching the fuzziness made him cozy and tired. He did everything in his power to keep as soft as the day he got it.

[obligur]

im literally gonna lose my mind okay so last year i had just applied to get an ao3 account and so i couldnt bookmark stuff and idk why i didnt copy and save the link i was so fucking stupid omg. anyways.

its stucky. its a road trip fic but i cant remember if its tagged as that?. i dont remember that much about it because i was like half asleep but it was lowkey the best piece of fanfiction ive ever read. i think bucky is going to try to kill zola or something and they go across europe and stuff and steve and bucky get freaky inside a tiny german hotel bathroom. theres a very small car that theyre all squished into because i think scott and sam join them and maybe natasha. anyways i literally cant fucking remember it and ive been looking desperately for the past like fourteen months and i cant fucking find it. idk if its deleted or something or maybe orphaned but i loved it i need it back so i can cherish lovingly for the rest of eternity. ive been searching across ao3 and looking for the post where i found it rec’d and ive even gone as far as to use one of those things that can scour the internet for certain strings of words so i put some sentences i remembered into that and i guess i misremembered because it didnt work and ive checked my search history but i cleared my history before i realized i hadnt saved it but ughhh im so pissed i didnt save it anyways

PLEASE IF YOU HAVE IT OR IF YOU HAVE IT SAVED SEND IT TO ME PLEASEPLEASE PLEASEPLE ASE PLEASE LORD I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER <33333

[iamthemoonagedaydream]

Hi I'm js halfway through crimson rivers and I've saved it onto my samsung notes, but it's crashed and deleted most of my bookmarks, but I js wondered if anyone would know what chapter james says that lovely little speech abt love to reg

I live it so much and sometimes I js need to re-hear it but it'd take me months to find it again if I were to look through myself 😭 would anyone know? And even if you js have the text it'd be amazeballs tysm 💜

Edit:

GUESS WHO FOUND THE PARAGRAPH!!!!!

It's at the start of Conviction!

' James frowns. "Regulus, love isn't... When I talk about love, I don't mean romantic love exclusively, you know that, don't you? Love is—it's not just romance. It's in... everything. Life. The breeze. Sunshine and snow. It's everywhere, in us and around us, even just...blood. Love can be blood, too. Blood spilt. Blood in our veins. Blood flowing in the people around us."

Regulus stares at him, his eyes a little wide, lips parted a bit. Honestly, it makes James feel ridiculously flustered. Regulus looks—well, there he is, a star, and he's starstruck.

James feels his stomach go all topsy-turvy from a sudden migration of butterflies, and he has to violently clear his throat before continuing. "What I mean to say is, no matter what the Hallows think, romantic love isn't some goal everyone should feel the need to meet. Some people don't feel that way, and that doesn't mean there's no love in their life. No one needs romantic love to be fulfilled as a person. Not everyone wants it, and then there are those who aren't ready, and all of it is okay. That doesn't mean there's an absence of love or that you're getting it wrong. You're not, Regulus, I promise."

"I know some people don't want it—romantic love, that is—and you're right to say that's okay, and that it's not required, but I—I do want—I—" Regulus halts, swallowing harshly, and James feels like his heart splinters a little bit. Regulus shakes his head abruptly, coughing. "Anyway, that's not—I'm not even getting the whole...love thing right from any angle, James. I'm—I'm genuinely shit at it."

"Regulus," James says softly.

"I don't know how to make people love me," Regulus croaks, "and I don't know how to love properly in return."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself," James tells him honestly. "Love isn't just something you say; more than anything, it's something you feel. If you feel it, then you're already doing it. And you feel it, Reg, I know you do. If for no one else, then for Sirius." '