#those are LITERALLY our tags
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Okay correct me if I'm wrong but weren't alter packs started by radqueers... Like I'm so sure that the first few alter pack blogs were ALLL radqueer. Why are there so many antis stealing the idea and then acting shocked when rqs are doing them too
#get your own shit#and stop complaining about radqueers being in those tags#like bro#those are LITERALLY our tags#golds bubbles#alter packs#radqueer safe#pro radqueer#radqueer community#radqueers please interact#radqueer#rq community#rq 🌈🍓#rq safe#pro rq 🌈🍓#rqc🌈🍓
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Watching the dynamic between bonny and read vs stede and ed in s2 ep4 was such a rollercoaster cause it went from me thinking "oh no they're just like stede and ed but if they actually ran off to China together and had a loving happy relationship" to me getting further into the ep and thinking "oh no they're just like stede and ed but if they ran off to China together and their relationship turned fucked up and toxic cause that's what happens when two traumatized pirates run of to live in isolation with eachother on a whim".
#I love the dynamic between those four it was so awkward and fucked up#They are literally parralells of eachother its driving me insane#It's also kinda nice in a way cause it offers a sense of closer knowing that them running off would've been a bad idea#And now that they've seen that first hand they're trying to work on their relationship slowly#I have so many feelings and thoughts that my brain has yet to process#And probably won't until maybe my 4th rewatch#Also bonny and read were so hannigram but that's another conversation#Ok rant over onto the fandom tags#ofmd 2#ofmd#our flag means death#gentlebeard#ofmd spoilers#blackstede#anne bonny#mary read#antichrists thoughts
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Celebration time 🎉
Happy 100 followers everyone! Thank you all for following my silly side blog, and for enjoying my work! To celebrate, I made a lil quiz to match you with one of the housewardens. Originally I wanted to do all characters but that would be a humongous task, so if this one does well, I might do a vice-house warden one later on.
Happy quizzing!
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#quizzes#uquiz link#uquiz quiz#twst x reader#thank u thank u so much everybody#this is something small cuz exams have been killing meeeee#but I just really wanted to celebrate#this just made me imagine an nrc dating show#like love fairies have invaded nrc and are forcing students to participate in match making reality tv show#they can’t keep re using the ghost bride event but they can play with our hearts#just imagine the whole being forced to act romantic to appease the overlords#malleus doesn’t even do shit bc he’s enjoying it too much#this also reignited my thoughts of doing some sort of cyoa with twst characters#have I also mentioned I wanted to write one of those “there was only one bed!! sorta scenarios?#cuz I do and it’s been hitting me in the head for quite awhile#I also have love triangles I wanna finish and also like 2928283828 individual stories#have I told yall about my little mermaid azul au where azul is the little mermaid? that shit be in my head for like 3 years now#there’s also a 50s au deuce story#and a sound of musicesque au with Lilia and the diasomnia gang#and a my fair ladyesque one with vil and rook#oh oh oh and also the 1920s mafia au with the mermafia and killer for higher reader#who is roped into being Azuls fake fiance#if only I was literate and not just a monkey with a brick hitting a typewriter#if you read all of these tags u get a cookie#and probably a psychological evaluation
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blood and chaos is about kirindave and ridgedog engaging in 24/7 psychosexual mental warfare over who has control of parvis, meanwhile parvis is completely clueless because he chose strife day one
#sorry if this doesn’t make sense you just might not see our (me and van’s) vision)#just very funny to imagine those two pretending not to but definitely loosing sleep over keeping tags on parv#playing 4d chess with each other thinking as literal gods one of them is gonna get to pull the strings#and parvis isnt able to actually be manipulated by either of them bc he decided strife is the only one he’s ever gonna listen to#do you guys get it#(clawing at the bars of my enclosure talking about ten year old characters) DO YOU GUYS GET IT
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4-armed Sukuna Appreciation post!! These were my favourite OG Sukuna panels from the latest chapter.
#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#jjk sukuna#jjk leaks#jjk#manga#og sukuna#4 armed sukuna#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers#Fellas i don't think i can do it anymore#i genuinely can't do this anymore he's too hot my brain is malfunctioning literally because-- the TWISTS my heart did after seeing#these panels and Sukuna's dialogue....i'm so in love with this monstrosity (affectionate)#he's so...handsome and hot and...especially those last 2 panels.... :') i can stare and admire them for hours man#It's funny seeing folks tweeting about finding og sukuna hot now like?? bro we've been saying this for the longest time !!#Like ?? are u ppl finally seeing the vision??? us Sukuna fans had our brain chemistry altered by???#Give us that Heian Sukuna Backstory Gege please don't finish the manga without it i'm literally going to :''''''''(((((( ..#can't wait to see if i can draw my beloved on the weekend <3 <3 <3 he's my pookie my moonshine <3 and insert every other cringe thing#see my tags don't even fit into the tag limit because i can't stop myself from wanting to yap about him#Also the way Sukuna says that ''It is because i understand love that i reject it'' and the ''Love is worthless/trash'' makes me think that#he's been hurt in some way ; maybe he loved to an extent it effed him up 'cause we all know what Gojo said in JJK 0;#''Love is the most twisted Curse of all''#:''''''< i-...
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worlds most irritating couple somebody separate them STAT !!!!!
#AAAAAAASGFJCASDHFJKBJLSK I LOVE HIM#ive been weeping over this#OOUUUGHHHHH#hooked/bumpy nose endo supremacy#give me ur tongue boy !!!!#i have a version of this without me in it just endo i'll post it later on my main#his tongue looks lonely tho fair warning......#ok stop being a freak for two seconds literally#i love our color palettes my blue hair green eyes and his teal thing he's got goin on#lip rings on opposite sides#actually i completely drew mine on the wrong side now that im looking at it again but whatever its cute#i love this new style im drawing in its SOOOO FUN TO COLOR i get so excited actually#i think he deserves to have a darker complexion than he does on those manga covers it's just fitting for him. methinks.#he looks so good#GOD#FUCKKGKJSKFHKAJVKSDFJ#dearly departed — venya ♱#idk if that’s our ship name but i’ll tag it as that#i need to draw us with takiishi now too#ok i’m gonna shut up now y’all have a good day 🦋🌸🌄
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"hell is forever rather you like it or not, had their chance to behave better now they boil in the pot!"
#god its been on loop in our head for DAYS#literally sung it all day at work#he did NOT have to serve like he did#wood wide web#hazbin hotel#(for those who have the tag blocked)
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I will never let ya’ll live down that era where Terukaneaoi shippers were beefing with each other through fucking ao3 tags
#i know i shouldn’t be giving them attention but that was literally so funny to me i think abt it every single day#by far my favorite era in this fandom i was refreshing ao3 regularly to keep up with the drama#i’m not saying i single-handedly ended it#but i am saying it stopped as soon as i said smth abt it in the a/n for one of my terukane fics#so you’re all welcome#i didn’t even care abt the sm//t like i don’t wanna read that shit so i’ll just scroll past it#but my dudes you literally cannot pretend you dgaf if you’re yelling at antis through ao3 tags#like i hope all those writers have realized how goofy they sound by now#as funny as it was let’s please not bring that back#obligatory mention that i am blocked by two terukane writers on ao3#terukaneaoi#terukane#teruaoi#it was mostly them full shade#aoiaoi#omg aoiaoi mention <3#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#teru minamoto#akane aoi#aoi akane#archive of our own#ao3#fanfic#fan fiction#anyways you should read my fics instead#i don’t yell at ppl through ao3 tags like an old man yelling at a cloud <3
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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HEHEHEHEH DAMES <3 <3 <3 <3
I love my partner so much we're gettin freakay on da fridae nite
Me and my partner if we were cool and in Friday Night Funkin (WEEKEND 1 THREW ME BACK INTO MY FIXATION I'M COOKED)
#I LOVE YOUUUUUU#I LOVE YOU DAMESSSS <3 <3#they're not taller than me IRL but I thought I would give them the grace in this drawing#persona#Jay#jay draws#self indulgence hehe#friday night funkin#fnf#you think people will think this is a mod or smthn there's so many oml#I doubt it but it would be funny#sorry for whoring out in this piece and sorry for not actually at all being sorry about anything#gonna do more art with this damn fixation#Wolf#OCs#OC Wolf#OC Jay#Persona Wolf#Persona Jay#not quite sure what to tag those hmm#omg our colors are literally girlfriend and boyfriend...#and tom and tord..........#we were meant to be I love red and blue <3#art#digital art
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Do y'all think object heads have a peculiar vision? Well I certainly do!
If DJSS is actually a supernova then assumption probably brings with it the idea they were a star, and being a star where it sends light in every direction and vision is directly correlated to light, what if that means omnidirectional vision?
#dj subatomic supernova#djss#no straight roads#nsr#fanart#a lot of notes i have in the image itself but i'll talk about them in the tags#i like to headcanon nova in youth was an o-class main sequence star aka big blue star that is bound to supernova#that shit is BRIGHT like 800000ish times our sun bright so even at a portable head size it's like a literal eyesore#kid to adult nova probably had to wear a helmet for others safety (an inconvenience to be sure)#but that would inherently condition them to have a more eye-based narrowed vision with a more frontal view of the world#which was helped a long way by being blinded by their own luminosity at the back and sides of that helmet#even if their vision was kinda dimmed and muted thanks to the visor being as shaded as it was#which is why when nova's a- well- supernova the interior of their hoodie not only is white but emits light#practically speaking it would be an inconvenience as the dj of a lowlit club but what if it was a habit that was a layover from being a sta#and to that: vision as a star and vision as a supernova are like two completely different logics#if a star is one celestial object that can view everything in every direction- a hot cloud of space dust is just trillions of staring eyes#compound eye having ass#from 20 or so years being blinded by their own light it does mean that not EVERYTHING has sight#let alone the 'used to be internal' contents of nova's head that kinda swirl in no particular direction#but whenever those blind spots happen to swirl their way up to the glass nova may get spotty vision#probably more a visual snow rather than any cataracts just because of the shear number of space dust particles#which means poor nova the dark gets littered with static and stargazing has a little more stars than they were used to#though it might also be because they aren't perpetually wearing sunglasses anymore but then again shades are different than visual snow#i have no idea where i learnt this (i think it was a humans are space orcs thing) that spacewalks can be utterly TERRIFYING#so i don't know if this was a nasa (or other space organisation documented) observation or general fear of space moment#but if folk are terrified with their binocular vision to float around in an ever endless void of stars and systems- how would nova feel?#i mean sure they utterly revel in space (they're an astrophysicist and ex-professor for it for god's sake) but they're now IN space#and it was just after bunkbed junction crashed their concert and took apparently their helmet and headphones as a trophy#bestie having omnidirectional vision in space is one thing it's another to literally have the place your vision comes from spread out!#i mean being the object that is their head it's not going to run completely away from them
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when people bring up the racism, homophobia, transphobia, romanticization of domestic abuse / rape / pedophilia / incest, literal actual written porn of literal actual real life flesh and blood children, et cetera et cetera on archive of our own, one of the ao3 stannies’ main defenses is “you can just filter out the tags if you don’t want to see that!” when that defense has no fucking legs to stand on.
ao3 is not an archive, it is barely even a website: a rant <3 (very long)
ignoring the fact that it’s a problem that all of that is permitted on the site in the first place (i guess child porn and racism are fine, and the people who allow it on their platform are fine, as long as i, personally, do not see it), that defense literally means nothing. it’s assuming that every little thing on ao3 is tagged properly and it absolutely is not, and if you think it is you are dumber than rocks. i mean for fuck’s sake, just touching on archive warnings and not tags, “creator chose not to use archive warnings” is literally a valid option for fic authors to use when it should fucking not be.
if someone is a freak who thinks that pedo shit is hot, they might not tag it as “rape” (archive warnings OR tags). i’ve literally seen underage father/son rape porn with no trigger warning tags but “child abuse if you squint”. IF YOU SQUINT. if someone thinks that domestic abuse is actually cool and sexy when attractive people do it, they might not tag it as “abuse”. if someone is a freak who likes incest, but bends over backwards to justify it by only shipping adopted family members, then they tell themselves that they don’t view it as incest, and might not tag it as “incest”. if someone is a racist, a homophobe, a transphobe, et cetera and they wrote bigotry into their fic (or else wrote a deliberate troll fic to trigger people on purpose), do you really think they’re going to tag it as racism / homophobia / transphobia / et cetera? and some people get kicks out of writing purposefully triggering content and either leaving it untagged or mistagging it so that people will read it unsuspectingly.
even for just general content tags, it’s a mess. people just forget to tag things all the time. people deliberately won’t tag the endgame ship of their fic because “it’s a spoiler heehee”. people use the romantic or sexual “x / y” tag instead of the platonic or otherwise “x & y” tag, sometimes by mistake sometimes on purpose. it’s a joked about issue how people will tag characters or ships that appear in their fic for two sentences.
there’s no standardization of tags, which is a pretty obvious problem. what first comes to mind is the “dead dove: do not eat” tag which should just not be a tag at all because it just has no meaning. depending on the individual fic writer using it, it could mean anything from “literally the most sickening and depraved thing you’ve ever read in your life” to “horror w/ gore”. but it applies to other vague tags too - different fic writers will have different ideas of what the tag means.
in addition to that, what is and isn’t made a filterable tag, what tags are made synonymous, et cetera, is entirely up to the whims of the site staff. as an example, if you’re trying to look for fanfiction of a singular animated disney movie, the infinite crossovers with other disney movies will not actually be counted as crossovers (which they are) because they’re classified as the “disney theatrical animated universe” (which isn’t a fucking thing), so you can’t filter them out the “exclude crossovers” way. if you try to filter out the fandom tag “disney theatrical animated universe”, it’ll show up with zero fics because that tag is synonymous with every disney animated film (regardless of if the fic author actually used the tag “disney theatrical animated universe” or not), thus also filtering out the one you actually wanted to find.
and do not get me fucking started on the “all media types tags”, which also just shouldn’t be a thing because it makes it fucking impossible to find the specific fics you’re looking for. some people use it in place of tagging a specific canon / adaptation when their fic very clearly draws from one specific canon / adaptation, and you can’t filter it out because it’s synonymous with every fandom tag under its umbrella.
as an example of the issues of both the “all media types” tag and mistagging in general: as a fan of the witcher books, it used to be a fucking ordeal to find fanfiction specifically for the books (post netflix show release). some show fans would, for whatever reason, tag their fics with the book fandom tag in addition to (or even in place of!!) the show fandom tag when their fics were unquestionably show-specific, meaning i could not simply search only in the book fandom tag. i could not simply filter out the show tag, because some show fans would, for whatever reason, tag as fucking “all media types”, when their fics were unquestionably show-specific. and alas, i could not filter out “all media types” and the show tag, so that i see only those fics which have been deliberately and exclusively tagged as the book, not only because as mentioned some show fans would tag their show fics with only the book tag, but also because the fucking all media types tag filters out the book tag as well, leaving me with zero fucking fics REGARDLESS of if the author actually used the “all media types” tag. now, thankfully, i’ve thankfully seen this issue in this specific fandom lessen, but it still occurs in other fandoms and i guarantee that it didn’t lessen in the witcher fandom because of any fixing of the site on the part of ao3 staff.
another common defense of ao3 freaks is that it’s an “archive”, and therefore can’t get rid of anything anyone posts, and disregarding the fact that that is not how archives fucking work, they don’t just allow anything and also ao3 DOES get rid of fics... when they say that they don’t like proshippers, apparently, archives have... you know... archivists. they have someone or a team of someones making sure that everything in the archive is *properly fucking categorized*. they have someone or multiple someones making sure that everything they recieve (1) belongs there and (2) is properly labeled and organized. same for libraries. meaning that if ao3 really were an archive and not a sub par fanfiction website, they’d have something like that in place. something as simple as a report button for fics with a review team that will see if something’s been mis- or untagged. they’d have some kind of standardization of tags (especially the warning / trigger tags) and have proper tagging enforced in some way. and then they could also do something like stop being spineless racists, queerphobes, and pedos have the barest minimum of content guidelines saying that you can’t post fucking hate speech.
if something is mistagged or untagged, the most you can do is leave a comment politely asking that the author fix the issue, and then hope and pray that they do that. and if that person thinks [insert form of abuse] is hot, or if they’re just straight up a bigot that wrote bigotry into their fics to be bigoted, or they’re a troll that gets kick out of deliberately traumatizing people by tricking them into reading their mis/untagged fics, they might not! AND if you see a major tagging issue on an orphaned work, or a work that has an inactive author / hasn’t been updated in forever, good fucking luck getting even a negative response.
you can’t permanently block tags (i mean even tumblr.hell has that), meaning that if you would like to search for fic without coming across something troubling, triggering, or just something you don’t like, you have to either (1) do a work around by having a bookmarked link for every fandom you’re in or every character you like with all of your tags already blocked, (2) download browser extensions that do the work for ao3 because they can’t be bothered themselves, or (3) input every individual tag every time you search ao3 and don’t forget that all of those options only fucking work at all when everything is tagged properly, and we’ve already established its not. you also can’t actually block people (you can only prevent them from commenting) meaning that if there’s a specific person you’d like to stay away from your fics or a specific fic author that you don’t like and would like to stop seeing their fics clogging up the tag, you’re out of luck (though for the latter you could insert “-[username]” into the “search within results” box, but then uh oh we’re right back around to having to input that every time or have a bookmark)
their archive warning system is shit. first of all it’s functionally useless because, as mentioned, “creator chose not to use archive warnings” is an option. what’s the fucking point of special required archive warnings if you’re going to allow people to opt out anyway. second of all, aside from “chose not to use warnings” and “no warnings apply”, the only warnings are “major character death”, “graphic depictions of violence”, “rape/non-con”, and “underage”. disregarding the fact that they shouldn’t be allowing porn of underage characters in the first place (but i’m talking to a brick wall on that issue) and that “non-con” (and “dub-con”) as terminology needs to die, it’s just fucking rape lets not use weasel words... this is a paltry list of possible warnings. there’s no official warnings for depictions of: domestic abuse, animal abuse, depictions of racism / homophobia / transphobia / et cetera, suicide, self harm, et cetera et cetera. and we return to the issue of standardization of tags. in your required archive warnings at very least, there should be a standardization of what these mean, but ao3′s own faq is just like “ehh... you decide. we’ll leave it up to you”. what qualifies as graphic depictions of violence? two people may write the same level of violence, but qualify “graphic” differently, and make different decisions regarding their warnings. and we also return to the issue of: if a freak doesn’t see something that is clearly rape as rape, they might not tag it as such.
this website gets a disgustingly large amount of money every year that it doesn’t fucking do anything with. it’s been over a decade and they’re still in fucking beta. features that would actually be useful, like an actual block system, don’t exist. they technically have a report system for abuse and harassment and such, but apparently what they qualify as abuse and harassment is fickle. ao3 defenders seem to be very proud of the legal work they do for fandom / fanfic authors, but they set aside a very small amount of the money they get every year for legal advocacy, and they actually use even less of that, because it’s not the early 2000s “anne rice hates fanfiction” era anymore - you aren’t going to get fucking sued for writing fanfiction in the first place. based on their own self-reported yearly cost of upkeep, they literally already have enough money to run the site as they are now for the next twenty years.
once again: ao3 is not an archive. it is not a library. it is barely a even a website.
#specifically a website run by freaks#who care more about ppl's 'fannish experience' than they do ppl of color abuse survivors and the real children ppl write p!rn of#anyway here's the rant i promised in the coming days since that one post#also i know people will come at me and say that dddne DOES have a meaning its a signal that the reader knows what theyre getting into#so cant be upset if it upsets them#or something along those lines#but (1) we've already well established that the reader very likely doesn't know what they're getting into#because a lot of the shit on ao3 is untagged or mistagged#and a lot of stuff with the dddne tag specifically isnt properly tagged because authors use dddne as a catch all#and just put that down instead of actually properly tagging their work#and as mentioned the authors that use it that way use it for literally anything that might make something uncomfortable#from the sickest shit there is to a little bit of gore#and you can say that those authors (who use it without also tagging what exactly they're talking about) are using the tag incorrectly#but oopsie! that then circles back around to (2) if someone is using a tag incorrectly there's no way to deal with that#other than a comment and a prayer#i speak#anti ao3#anti archive of our own#fandom nonsense#my monologues
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I can't remember who, but I think the funniest interaction I've ever had on Tumblr is someone being genuinely shocked to their core that I live in a very country, very rural small conservative town. I guess I give city vibes to most people? Anyways I'm curious now and want to see, of the few people who will see this, what vibes do I give off most
#I live in the most urban part of rural norcal#honestly the vibes are so strange to me#there are atleast 4 abandoned barns within biking distance from my house#most of our local business owners are part of an ACTUAL CHRISTIAN CULT#There is only one school in our entire district that actually has hallways inside a building#(the rest you have to go outside to walk through and half the building are those temporary ones put up 30 years ago)#and I genuinely. GENUINELY think I am the only dedicated bass player in the city#I have gone to actual music shops and said “yeah I only play bass” and been looked at like an alien BY THE OWNER OF THE SHOP#oh and also one time ages ago a college tried to build a campus here and the residents literally bullied them out of town#because they didn't want college kids in their small rural town. I guess. too many liberals or something idk#rambles#idk how to tag this#I'm just curious what the general opinion is#because I wouldn't really say I live in the COUNTRY#but my Nana's husband showed me how to wrangle a baby cow when I was 10#sooo
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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im gonna be real for a second. if fantasy can only be enjoyable to you when removed from any and all real world implications then is it even good
#mileposting#sorry if this seems like its targeting anything i literally just started thinking abt it for no reason#like this is not a vague LMAO but i think its smth ive thought about for a long time and i finally have the words for it#because like. okay for one all stories are based on the human experience whether its About the Human Experience or not#so i think when approaching a work of fiction and seeing something that has implications in real life#a lot of people have the kneejerk reaction of ‘its fantasy/its made up/its not real’#but where did it come from? who was it written by? what are the writer’s personal feelings on the matter and does their bias affect the work#this is just a me thing i guess but i dont find it any fun to see those connections and immediately disregard them#its because of those structures and systems that we can find a fantasy work so compelling#i understand the want to just turn off ur brain sometimes and be like fuckkkk cool dragon#like i fucking love a good dragon or whatever dont get me wrong#i have a world of my own thats literally just Ooh cool shit#but i would not call that compelling. fun maybe. but a lot of the appeal is lost for me#fantasy worlds are mostly just. our history but with fantastical elements to it#they typically are not fantastical worlds with our elements Removed from it#so the way specifically societal structures are treated differently in that aspect is interesting!#idk this is kind of a nothing post also you can tell i got distracted like five times in the middle of writing the tags. smile
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❝ The ship can't survive without its unicorn, Iz, ❞ Frenchie says quietly yet matter-of-factly as he wipes Izzy's feverish brow with a cool cloth, lingering for a moment to brush a loose strand off before turning to the side to soak the warmed up cloth in the bowl of cool water again, both his voice and gestures an aching mix of exhaustion, sadness and tenderness, ❝ We'll crash and burn before we ever reach another shore. ❞
There are tears welling in his eyes and he doesn't want Izzy to see them, doesn't want to distress his already overtaxed system even more, so he takes an extra moment to wring the cloth over the bowl while blinking rapidly to get rid of the tears.
And yet, a sob weasels its way into his words as he adds, almost an afterthought ( that sounds far more bitter than it has any right to be ):
❝ I thought you knew that. ❞
[ OPEN for Izzy post-S2 because ouizzy is something else entirely as a ship and I need more of them and because this phrase about the ship and its figurehead/unicorn appeared in my head and I thought that it would suit Frenchie the most because if someone knows about mythical symbolism of figureheads etc, it’s him also, he's upset his boyfriend seems to be giving up ]
#🎵 ↝ Frenchie | The Minstrel#🎵 ↝ Frenchie ↝ ic#🎵 ↝ Frenchie ↝ ic ↝ open starter#he loves him so much I can't 🥺#and he's also trying to be strong#even though his box is literally bursting at the seams the more he tries to put the lid on Izzy's current situation#and on every other near death experience Izzy had#death mention tw#injury cw#ask to tag#for those who doesn't know figureheads were meant to protect the ships from dangers demons etc#especially if they were made into the shape of a unicorn#our flag means death rp#ofmd rp#ouizzy
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