#malleus doesn’t even do shit bc he’s enjoying it too much

[kyu-piddy]

Celebration time 🎉

Happy 100 followers everyone! Thank you all for following my silly side blog, and for enjoying my work! To celebrate, I made a lil quiz to match you with one of the housewardens. Originally I wanted to do all characters but that would be a humongous task, so if this one does well, I might do a vice-house warden one later on.

Happy quizzing!

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Not a ranking but some thoughts on the twst characters and porn

Riddle: DOES NOT WATCH PORN AT ALL. He thinks it’s completely inappropriate even in private and the thought embarrasses him too much. The kind of guy who wouldn’t even know what to look for. I think he if ever did jerk off to something it would be something embarrassing and soft core. Like, 50’s pin ups you could have on your wall soft core.

Trey: does watch porn, probably pretty often tbh. I feel like he has a preference for povs. Prefers homemade stuff bc he finds most porn shot in a studio tacky and overdone

Cater: doesn’t actually watch porn that much, he’d rather use his own imagination (Or his clones but we aren’t gonna talk about that) He does probably have a couple favorite actors he sticks too when he does watch it tho. I feel like he’d have a think for tattoos?

Ace: definitely watches porn lmao. And it’s the corny “oh no I am stuck in this random hole in the wall, whatever will I do” or “I’m sorry mr pizza delivery man, I don’t have any money” type shit. He has zero taste

Deuce: also watches porn, not very often tho. He probably started out with very basic porn and one day he tripped and fell into a very specific niche kink he hasn’t been able to escape. He will never admit to it tho

Leona: the type of mf who would watch porn and not even delete the tab before letting someone borrow his phone. Also a fan of povs. Most when the other person is receiving. I feel like he would mostly watch it with the sound off bc he finds the exaggerated moaning irritating

Ruggie: doesn’t watch it super often but when he does it’s probably something that toes the line between satire and porn. He strikes me as a gangbang man

Jack: knows of porn but is too shy to actually look it up. He might find a loophole in erotica or playboy style mags (tho I don’t see him being into that stuff either) rip wolfy

Azul: doesn’t watch it super often but he does have a super secret account where he saves his favorites and revisits them. I think he might enjoy audio povs

Jade: I feel like he’s into porn but he’s so fucking weird I feel like he’s on a mailing list for like. Niche porn where it’s just people fucking in the woods while foraging or something. He watches it 50% for the porn and 50% for the plot

Floyd: another one that would enjoy satirical porn. Mer porn definitely exists in this universe and I think he would specifically enjoy porn involving land ppl and mer people. He’d probably find all the ways to mesh their anatomy fun

Kalim: has access to porn and has watched it but prefers his own imagination. Something about him doesn’t strike me as a porn guy. Maybe some like? Really fancy erotic artwork? But even then that’s more of something to get him in the mood, not to Jack off to

Jamil: likes role play porn with clear D/S tones. He knows what he likes. Too bad he doesn’t get much time to himself 💀

Vil: another one who doesn’t really enjoy watching porn. If he did he’d probably support individual adult content creators on other platforms. He’d send them lingerie and stuff and even then it’s more of a beauty thing than a sexual thing

Rook: another fan of the more homemade style of porn. He likes how intimate it feels. Probably another one who takes interest in specific actors tho he usually only stays interested for a little bit before moving on

Epel: didn’t have access to porn really until he got to NRC. Now he’s a mean lean masturbating machine. Just holes up in the first empty room with a lock at his dorm and picks the first video he finds. He’s got range (or a ton of pent up hormones)

Idia: hentai, I don’t need to elaborate. He’s a freak

Malleus: does not watch porn, probably doesn’t know what it is, would be somewhat interested but not really into it. He strikes me as the kind of guy who’s really only turned on by someone he knows well and is attracted to.

Lilia: he’s seen porn throughout the ages! (Id love to see an exhibit on that) a few videos might check all his boxes but over all there’s not much that does it for him. He’d rather use his imagination

Sebek: lmaooooo too repressed to watch porn. Some of the other first years might show it to him and he’d be scandalized. If he did give in and get off to it he’d be so ashamed afterwards tho

Silver: falls asleep in the middle of it. Probably watches it and tries to jerk off before bed but passes out before he’s done. Hopefully he wears earbuds or something.

NO THESE ARE SO ROGHT IM CRYING.

Ace has such shit taste and thinks those "stepbro" memes are funny. Floyd likes to find very fucking weird satire or expirmental videos like "how many ___ can i shove up my ass" and occasionally sends them to other people to mess with them. Jade and Deuce are part of the 'hyper specific and niche kink club'. Malleus can watch it with a straight face cause he's not interested.

Riddle and Sebek are so unbelievably down bad and repressed.

[yan-twst]

can you do hcs for an mc who really doesnt want to go home (not bc their home is bad per se, but they have come to love it at NRC, and more specifically a certain boy) w/ Malleus, Ace, and Floyd?

malleus draconia

he’s incredibly moved- to tears, almost. he cannot imagine how difficult of a decision that is, to chose to leave their home behind. if he had to leave lilia, silver, and sebek behind- hell, leave twisted wonderland... he doesn’t know if he’d be able to. to think his darling took such a decision amazes him

malleus sees magic as twisted wonderland’s life and blood, and now that his beloved will be remaining here, he’s determined to give his darling some control over it. while they can’t use magic with a magic pen, he’s heard of magicless people who make sigils, and making potions requires little magic...

he might ask from time to time if they regret it. he knows that ideally he shouldn’t be poking at an open wound, but he needs to know; what do they miss? more importantly, is it something he can help with?

malleus is highly aware that his castle back at home, and the entire valley of thorns is probably incredibly different from his beloved’s home, but he dearly hopes they grow to love it as much as him

malleus will apply his powerful magic to try and find a way to allow his darling at least to communicate back home once (and unlike crowley, malleus does put in effort and not forget)- he wishes his darling to at least say their last goodbye, and he wants to show their family that they’re in good hands

ace trappola

ace would be overjoyed. his darling isn’t only his lover, they’re one of his closest friends! he’d been steeling himself to say goodbye for a while, but now... he’s almost too overwhelmed by thinking they’ll stay

it’d take him a second to think through about what this could mean, and the difficult choice his darling had to make. sure, ace might not be the best kid, but... he’d miss his family if he went away... so he’d worry his darling felt that way

not being the best at deep emotional comfort, he’d just try to act as upbeat and rowdy as it’s expected of him to keep his darling so entertained they can’t think about sad things

there’s sooo much stuff he wants to show them! after all, now that they’re gonna stay, they need to know general stuff about twisted wonderland- life at nrc isn’t like life outside! (nrc, if anything, is a bubble of the weirdest shit ace has ever seen. he promises life outside is waay nicer!)

he’d immediately begin thinking about graduation, even though it’s so far away. where would his darling stay? would it- would it be ok to stay at his house? ... urk, his family would absolutely tease him to death if he did that, though... perhaps the two of them could get an apartment?! he’d always thought the land of the pyroxene was super cool!

ace is very much a live in the present and leave the future to the future person, so he’s determined to just enjoy each day with his darling. sure, he has no clue how the hell crowley is gonna give a non-magic user an nrc graduation certificate, but that’s the crow’s problem!

floyd leech

floyd is all for change and sudden decisions! when his darling tells him they’ve decided to stay, because they’ve learnt to love twisted wonderland and... well, him, he’s so happy he hugs them a bit too hard. oopsie!

jade rarely visits his hometown down in the ocean; he does kind of understand. he’s gotten very used to life in land, and it’s not like he’d die if he couldn’t go back home... urk, but then he’d be leaving jade behind? and azul? and goldfish?! and the baby sea otter?! and- gah, no, he wouldn’t be able to leave twisted wonderland! he’s so lucky his darling is staying with him!

now that he knows this, he’s ecstatic. even though he whines a lot about how boring his hometown is, he wants to take his darling there!! honestly, he has no clue where they’ll live once they graduate (usually, merfolk and human couples stay on land, but hey, there’s always exceptions!), but the ocean is so fun! and from what he hears, it’s nothing like the oceans back in his darling’s home!

he’s not worried at all about a non-magic person choosing to stay in twisted wonderland. sure, there might be mean people who target them, but not under floyd’s watch! he’ll make sure his darling’s life here is not only super fun, but also safe! ... and full of very, very tight hugs.