#this. took. so. l o n g.

[employee052]

FINALLY DID A NARRATOR DESIGN

took a while of obsessing over it but finally got one down! >:3

[galacticgarbagebin]

I cross-stitched the knight on a bench :) he is Chillin!!!

[vaedar]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐃

Friendly reminder that this headcanon specifically applies only to this RP blog and character, it's not meant to be used as a theory for the series as a whole.

It's widely known that only those with the 'blood of the dragon' are able of riding dragons, though the reason behind this is up for debate, but it hints to some kind of connection ( be it to the genetic level or through bloodmagic sorcery, which I expand on over here ) between Valyrians ( specifically, Dragonlords ) and dragons.

What is also known is that Dragonlords did use magical objects such as horns, to more effectively control their dragons. These were intelligent creatures with their own wills and whims, so they did disobey their riders often enough, especially if the bond was still weak. In time, as the bond is fortified, then these instances occurred less. Horns and spells were sung in an attempt to fortify that bond and prevent this 'disobedience' through magical control. However, it was not necessary, as Targaryens and their 'dragonseed' could bond with dragons without the use of them. 

A dragon bond is in itself a magical connection, which is why Valyrian Dragonlords practiced incest to preserve the magical quality of their blood as pure as possible, to maintain that ability to bond with and ride dragons ( aside from political reasons, of course ). The bond does not only involve the rider but the dragon, so this means that the dragon also must 'choose' the rider, and this depends on each of them individually. For the rider, the bond may begin first as an allure of sorts, an affinity to a certain dragon or even a developed interest, which can happen when they have been exposed to the frequent company of one. An example of this can be how Targaryens placed dragon eggs in the cradles and the dragons that hatched ( if they did ) were bonded to the babies. 

Aside from being able to ride dragons, the bond allowed for the pair to be connected on an emotional and subconscious level. Dragons learn commands initially through the emotional communication with their riders as they are being taught/trained, associating the words with what they can subconsciously perceive from the rider ( their 'will' pretty much ) when the word is spoken. Afterwards, as highly intelligent ( in ways people cannot understand ) creatures, this will enable them to better learn and understand the human language of their rider. They would also grow aware of where the other is and call for them ( though very large distances may hinder this to an extent ), if they are in danger or alarmed, as well as feel their pain as their own. This merger also seems to benefit the rider's health, perhaps triggering magical properties in their blood, which could render them resistant to diseases or illnesses. They can even feel as the other passes away, which would be an incredibly tormenting and traumatic event.

From this subconsciously emotional connection can also come new challenges for both of them. When the bond is being developed, there is a clash of 'wills' so to speak, in which one part may push against the subconscious of the other, influencing their actions or even moods. For example, while a dragon is in the middle of the hunt, its rider may feel hunger, a surge of adrenaline, more violent tendencies, or altogether be repulsed by certain foods due to what the dragon is eating. If the rider is upset, the dragon may become violent and prone to 'disobedience', as it may confuse the emotional turmoil and act on it or against it. As the bond develops and solidifies, a balance will eventually come in which both dragon and rider will be able to distinguish their individual 'wills' by consolidating them into the bond. It will form a more effective communication, to the point where those more deeply forged bonds will allow for the rider to fly upon the dragon without even needing to voice instructions or commands of where to go or what to do. 

Usually, the stronger bonds are formed when both rider and dragon have grown together, since they were an infant and a hatchling, respectively. But there have been instances where older riders have bonded to mature dragons, and developed a strong and deeper connection quickly. Since the bond tends to depend on each individual rider and dragon's character and circumstances, then it's near impossible to set a standard for its intricacies. But what is known is how a rider may not claim another dragon, even if their own has perished, although a dragon may accept another rider if their previous one died. This may be due to the differences in the lifespans of human and dragon, the former expected to not reach old age and the latter being able to live over two centuries ( likely longer still ). Or it could also have to do with how the rider's blood has already forged a connection with the one dragon, and is unable of doing so again with another. It's yet another of the mysteries surrounding this bond.

[hikari-m]

{P E N D I N G T R A I N} ~ Eps. 04 x Ep 09 + D A I C H I YONEZAWA (& N a o y a) Kayashima (as Support)

"'You' SHOULD BE T h a n k i n g

'That' 'ONII-chan' from KANSAI."

"WE Came all the way FROM O S A K A !! !" - Yonezawa's F a m i l y (O s a k a is in K a n s a i)

{Cap'd by Me} {DO NOT C O P Y} {DO NOT R E P O S T} (Please A S K to U s e / S h a r e!)

[an-inky-fingered-lass]

Jemma and May, and a story for a home and its memories; for lives lost and the still living, and for a different sort of joy than you ever imagined.

A story inspired by this snippet by @meanderings0ul.

They’d finally shared details of their plans once the team was all together, lights strung up all over the Lighthouse for New Year’s and the old base so much warmer than it had once been.

May had flown them out here two days later with nothing much more than a I know a place. She’d borrowed a jeep from a hangar whose elder occupants greeted her with startled recognition, tugged the keys from her pocket upon arrival and opened the door for them in silence.

The house had been dusty inside, in almost perfect condition otherwise. It had that quietly melancholy air of a house long since empty, the faint scuffs on the wood polish and memories of warmth that meant it had once been lived in, loved. It wasn’t until Jemma saw the absent way May leaned her hip against a cabinet that wouldn’t shut properly unless you shoved it just right, the way she watched them walk around more than she looked at the house, that it finally clicked.

Read the rest on Ao3.

[bittwitchy]

the fnaf movie novelization is ofc v different in multiple ways to the movie itself bc it's shows inner thoughts and things, and alternative versions of scenes (Aka some lines are like what the test audiences didnt like so they cut) but its also a lot funnier in certain aspects

[torchickentacos]

Fall Out Boy concert experience!

WOO ok wanted to type this out so, one, I don't forget it all bc concert amnesia hits me hard, but two, in case anyone just wants to hear about it!!! @alonetogethermp3 I know you'll wanna hear about it! LONG POST. I warned you all.

SO! This is a venue specific thing, but parking? BAD. They have the parking dudes whose job it is to point and yell. They were not pointing OR yelling and just kinda stood there. It was way worse getting out than in but I also got there early for openers. Also venue specific, but it wasn't that accessible. I knew that going into this, though- I had been there to see P!ATD before they sucked and also I graduated there, so I was aware of this issue. Luckily it isn't that bad with a cane, and I could struggle through the stairs and lines, but god forbid I had used my walker.

I wasn't too impressed by any of the merch designs but that's also entirely personal taste, and the good stuff might have just been sold out.

But we got in alright and found a shady space for lawn seats near the back in case I had a medical issue (chronic illness in direct sun, not something you wanna be stuck in the pit for). I will say- edibles? Great from what I've heard. Bring those. Don't be that person vaping and smoking whatever the fuck at a concert. Breathing is a thing people around you tend to enjoy. Don't be that guy.

The openers were CARR (heard about 2 songs, fun and fine, kind of giving Pom Pom Squad or Gracie Abrams gone rock and slight shoegaze and recording in someone's basement /positive), Royal & the Serpent (very good, almost definitely has Bikini Kill or Hole as their inspiration, played a competent nirvana cover that I wasn't at all mad at), and Bring Me The Horizon (way better than I was expecting except for the part where he asked if we were ready to be fucked in the ass with my mom sitting next to me). He also kept telling us to get up and jump. (My friend and I started a drinking game where I took a shot of liquid iv hydration multiplier every time an opener told me to jump, something I was entirely unable to do bc POTS lmfao). They did have actual drinks everywhere- it was more alcohol than anything else, actually. My friend did get something alcoholic but apparently it kinda sucked and I wasn't missing out. I will say, this WAS somewhere that you'd have to watch your drink, though. I didn't get catcalled or anything (this time) but I did feel the need to be on alert and I'd advise others to do the same at any concert, honestly, but especially one as packed as this one was.

I spent a lot of the opener time laying down in the grass because of the heat, but it did cool down nicely and most non-chronically ill people seemed to be fine with the heat. Also, I think it was Pete Wentz around the opening who told the crowd that if they saw anyone struggling with the heat or crowds or anything at all to let security know, and I loved that they seemed to be very conscientious of crowd safety (but it didn't get that wild honestly, pretty chill crowd but not to the point of being a dead crowd. Good in-between).

By the time FOB took the stage, it was sunset- really pretty, no pictures of that though bc phone storage and I was too busy talking to my friend.

The stage was really good- I ADORED that it was seemingly modeled after the album cover of From Under The Cork Tree. Here, have the world's blurriest picture of it below. The circle would show an 8-ball every so often, and it had a spinning globe for Hold Me Like A Grudge ("the world is always spinning and I can't keep up" lyric reference I imagine)! It had a ton of fun details like that that seemed to correlate to the songs. I also noticed a lot of clock motifs and ticking time, which... if I had a nickel each time a major 2023 concert tour had a clock motif (eras tour too, which I am not going to because I don't feel like fist-fighting a shady facebook marketplace reseller for a ticket), 2 nickels, etc. Also kinda funny bc they released a song together recently but I'm getting way off topic.

The sound quality was AMAZING, and while my pictures all suck, I could see a decent amount even when laying down and tired (though I had to peer through the sea of asses and vape/weed smoke). They had a few big screens that seemed pretty well-focused on Patrick and Pete (but also Joe sometimes). They weren't the most talkative but when they did, it felt so genuine and endearing- a bit awkward, but it really did feel like they wanted us to feel like they were talking to US and not just to a crowd. Patrick and Pete were so nice and just... real-feeling. I couldn't catch a lot of what they said, though- a bit mumbly. Pete was wearing a rose themed mesh shirt and a skirt, I'm pretty sure, which I loved. FOB, MCR, I love whatever the fuck popular former emo bands are doing with gender nonconformity these days. Keep that up.

Now. The songs. Bit of personal lore here, but I went with a friend I've known since like 2012/13, and we had been to this venue together around 2015?? for a show. Because of that, I was SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL when they played Bang the Doldrums. I know that thematically the entire thing doesn't quite fit, nor would I quite want it to, but I found a certain irony and amusement in singing some of the lyrics with my friend next to me.

AND OH MY G O S H. THE ACOUSTIC 'NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER'. I was fucking blessed. My favorite album/EP of theirs is probably My Heart Will Always Be the B-Side to my Tongue, which is an acoustic EP, and so they played that song in the version I adored most. Though, I can't in good faith choose a single favorite album/EP.

AND WINONA!!!!!!!!! WE GOT SHE'S MY WINONA. I could NOT have asked for a better setlist. I also love that they played a good amount from Take This To Your Grave (AND ENDED ON SATURDAY!!!). Hot take? Could have done with a bit more MANIA but I get why they didn't, but The Last of the Real Ones was a GOOD CHOICE (another one I had Big Emotions about). The only songs I would have loved that I didn't get were The (Shipped) Gold Standard and GINASFS, but I would have cried my damn makeup off so it's probably for the best that I didn't get to sing 'I wanna scream 'I love you' at the top of my lungs but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me' or 'trade baby blues for wide-eyed browns' or literally any other line of GINASFS. But if I get into that then y'all are gonna learn more about my emotional state than I care for lmfao. My blog is...not-irrelevant enough that I don't want to get too specific in case someone I know finds it, because while I don't know if my friends use tumblr, they're certainly the type (queer and neurodivergent lol, birds of a feather and all).

And THAT'S what makes the concert and FOB as a band special to me, though- it was a good show but it was a personal experience. I cannot separate the show from the emotions I went through for the company I was with that FOB's lyrics evoked. And if we were to crash and burn, then that also means that the memory of this concert will be forever stained by the things I felt now due to their inextricable nature. But that's the risk you take when you enjoy something because of someone's presence and associated emotions, and it's a risk I'll continue to take because there's no use living life held-back and scared of eventual regret. Enjoy the moment and everything you feel then and there.

It wasn't just a show that would be a replicable experience. Their lyrics and performance invoked those emotions in a really special way, and I was just FEELING the entire concert. Maybe I'm over-emotional or too sentimental or can't move on from an embarrassingly long and futile crush BUT I would not trade that for anything. It was an EXPERIENCE, not just good music, though it was that, too. And I think they delivered that in a very FOB-unique way that other bands might not have been able to.

It was just a very open vibe when they took the stage. They sang with earnest and genuine feeling and LOVE, and I think that spreads to the audience. Every show has a specific vibe. Live music feeds off of audience and band alike, and the energy was just vulnerable and wonderful at this concert, and you can tell they wanted to foster that experience.

Ultimately, emotional vulnerability is what FOB is built off of. Like their music or not, from even their first few albums, they had that deeper emotional touch to them. You could hear the spite, the yearning, the apathy or the jealousy in each line recorded. Their lyrics are founded on emotion as opposed to storytelling or even clarity (some songs, I have no idea what specifically they're on about but it makes me feel things anyways). And that rang true tonight as well, on stage and in the audience.

[deus-ex-mona]

rip nagisa you’ll get your mv soon™️

[oh-meow-swirls]

thank god.

[imoutoni]

Shinobu: "my work is my life". To start our Nezuko & Shinobu thread~!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Whenever Shinobu spoke like that, the young Demoness couldn't help but get excited! The ethereal butterfly was constantly teaching her new things, whether it be something she read in a book, or wise words of advice. They had a very amicable relationship despite the burning rage the Insect Hashira held toward Demons. The only time Nezuko properly felt threatened was the foreboding smile Shinobu would give her when she was scratching up the wooden tables or stealing her goldfish bowl without permission. In her defense, Zenitsu was to blame for pointing its existence out to her.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀It wasn't only that the shorter female was smart, she had such a passion for chemistry, always showing the girls what herbs to grind and coming up with new ways to weaponize wisteria. What was lacked in strength was made up for by resourcefulness; Nezuko respected her greatly for being both small and scary all at the same time.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀There appeared to be something specific and deliberate about her words this time. Did the grinning butterfly want to talk to her? Not that she didn't love company, but due to her piqued curiosity, she was caught up in suspense as to what she had to say. With a hum and a head tilt, she prepared to listen.

[doctor-cunt-phd]

I, for one, cannot BELIEVE that I've not found a Single Windows of Opportunity fic about Teal'c and Jack double teaming the daylights out of daniel, it seems so obvious to me

[ghostsandmirrors]

Warrick 'Wagner'/'Wag' Himura

— original images: [x] | [x] | [x] | [x] | [x]

texture credits! n/a

[pastelaspirations]

Okay, I... I don't know what, I can't- W a i t, o k a y. I'm not even screaming right now or. Even in the process of losing my mind. I have already lost it. It's gone. My mind has left me, a shell of a person, as I ascend into the heavens as I am essentially dead in all manners but physical.

Would even saying "I'm not okay" be accurate to my situation??? It would be more akin to holding up a severed arm at the scene of a car crash, giving a skeptical look to said car crash, then addressing every horrified and disturbed individual that you, in your professional opinion, think that the person who used to own the severed arm is in fact, not okay.

Can I. Come back maybe. Reblog this when I have found my lost mind somewhere and can be more coherent.

O k a y. How do I. Even express what I feel right now.

My heart is in shambles. Utterly d e s t r o y e d, I tell you. I don't think there is a way I will ever possibly recover from this.

We laugh and we laugh at my lighthearted jokes of me crying over fan art. And while I was over the moon, delighted beyond the words that I so poorly tried to use and express the absolute joy I felt, I wasn't actually crying. Of course, there were times I came c l o s e, just from the sheer overwhelming joy that my tiny heart is not accustomed to feeling, but I usually was able to contain myself. The happiness cancelled out the tears that would have fallen. I'm sure this isn't a surprise, very often things said in full capital letters and repeated instances of the same letter at the end of words are said in hyperbole.

T h a t s a i d. I did actually cry from this. I promise, I am telling the full truth right now. To make matters brief, I had a very rough awakening due to an emergency and I had been stressed the majority of the day. S o, uh, I suppose that weakened the usually fortified walls I have up that prevent me from actually crying at things.

I don't know why, man. I'm just. So overwhelmed with so many emotions, I can't. ALL THE EMOTIONS YOU INFLICTED WITH THIS ARE ALL GOOD, I SWEAR, THEY'RE JUST. INCREDIBLY POTENT AND POWERFUL WHEN USED AGAINST A WEAK HEART.

I know how incredibly difficult animation is, even if I haven't attempted it myself yet. It takes so much practice and patience, and there are many who give up before they become better at it because of the unforgiving amount of time and perseverance it takes. So, that may be partly why I am so incredibly honored and humbled to have someone do all that for a story I made.

It just means so much, I don't know how else to express it. Never, in a million years, did I think when I created this fic three years ago, that I would be getting fan art, let a l o n e fan animations. If you were to tell me that three years ago, I would have looked at you like you had lost your mind.

That's what I wanted to do when I first started writing. I thought that if I inspired someone else with a little story that I created, then it would be worth it. ;_; So, to see all these incredibly talented people like you be so inspired to create something new means the world to me. It's just so incredibly flattering and overwhelming that it is over a story that I made. <3

OKAY, I'M SORRY FOR ALL THAT, I JUST. I'm so moved and touched and I'm not sure if I can even express how exactly I feel in words, but I tried. I promise, I will love this until the end of time and it means the absolute world to me <3 <3 ;_; ;_;

their first meeting . Based on the fanfiction "Perseverance" by: @pastelaspirations

[katetcake]

Finally got to Zora's domain. And uhhhhh

That's very gay my guy lmao

[littlebearbun]

Ford Pines NSFW Alphabet

(Written for my best friend <3 I hope it makes you feel better)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Absolutely doting. Brings them a warm, wet rag to clean off, water, a fresh shirt, you name it. Very touchy, lives off the closeness and skin on skin contact. Asks a lot of questions about what they liked and what they didn't, if anything. Catalogues the marks he left. Sometimes draws them if they falls asleep.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part is mouth, I think. Knows what it's good for-talking and as a seat. (I do think he would grow to like his own hands after being with someone he loved)

His favorite body part of his partner is this one specific freckle/mole behind their knee. Oh, you wanted something like boobs/ass? Neither. The crux of their leg.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His cum is a little more liquid than not. Comes a normal amount but it comes in waves. Whines through it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Thought about his partner sexually before their first time together and considers that a dirty secret for sure.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced. College took up a lot of his time, then he was paranoid as hell, then he was in alternate dimensions for 30 years. Did fuck around with aliens, partially for science and partially cause he was lonely.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary??? He's classic. That, or spooning, him behind them and lazily rocking against them. So much skin contact.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Definitely more serious, he's trying very hard and he needs to focus, dammit. Once he gets started it's hard to stop.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Takes very good care of himself, keeps it trim and neat. Has a happy trail and also grooms that.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very romantic, I think, or tries to be. Sometimes he gets caught up in his head/too focused but most of the time he's very about his partner and he's so, so sweet.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Did in high school/college to see what the fuss was about. Did not when he was working on the portal. Rarely did when In between dimensions cause he wasn't often safe.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

If they wear his shirt. Or on the opposite end of the spectrum of tameness, making them come until they cry. Somnophilia, if they gave permission first. If he can't sleep it's a nice way to pass the time and feel close.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

In bed??? (Later they could convince him to do it in his study)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Every touch is like electric to this man. Touch starved as hell. If they look in his general direction sometimes wonders why his pants got tight. It's a process.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He wouldn't want to hurt them at all. Would also not want to be restrained, triggers him to Weirdmageddon. Do not degrade him, he takes it too hard.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Preference to give for sure. Would stay down there for hours if they let him. Gets lost in it. He's greedy. Wants to see how many times he can get them to tremble for him. Tell him he's made for it and watch how red he turns.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He's half and half. Ideally he wants it slow so he can focus and commit it all to memory and slowly take them apart. Sometimes he just gets too caught up in it and then he's much faster.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He would much rather take his time. What's the point if he only gets to make them come once??

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Experiment, yes. He's definitely made an aphrodisiac/stimulating gel before. Has made an experiment about how many times he can physically get them to come (actually had to be begged to stop, he apologized with lots of kisses) Risky? No. Wants them safe and happy always

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He's so touch starved I think he comes pretty quick. Prefers lots of foreplay and for them to come at least twice before he gets his. Is a little embarrassed about it but makes up for it in spades.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Makes toys, but more for teasing than actual insertion. I mentioned the gel, but I could also see remote control vibrators or experimental stimulations.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to think he can tease but he's too desperate for that. He can't tease for long before he wants more. Sometimes he breaks before his partner does.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

This man is loud. Whines a lot. Moans. Whimpers. He would try to talk through it and get cut off by his own sounds.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Listen I'm still on this-the mind reading helmet. Making them wear it and going down on them. In a less sexy note, is self conscious about all the scars and old tattoos. Lichtenberg scars are really sensitive, though. They can replace his self conscious thoughts with other ones. ;)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Hairy but well groomed. Has a little tummy. His arms are built but not as big as Stans-Ford is built more for dexterity and speed. His pecs make perfect pillows. Has “Flirty Girl” and “Hey now you're an all star” tattoos. Definitely had old Bill worship tattoos that he burned/scarred the eyes off of. Has Lichtenberg scars after Bill electrocuting him and has many scars from knives and bullets from his time in the portal.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Before he meets the love of his life, very low. (I headcanon Ford as Demi) After??? He can't get enough of the physical contact, though it's not always sexual. Just wants to be touching them. He yearns more for them sexually then he yearns for his own release.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Ford doesn't sleep very well anyway (cat naps or like, an hour or so increments) knows it's not healthy but he has nightmares and is not used to being safe when he sleeps. Anyway, after sex he stays up looking at his partner, memorizing every mark, freckle, mole, wrinkle, scar. He is very doting in aftercare and will absolutely cuddle. Draws them, like I mentioned. Sometimes reads in bed.

[thesilmarillionblog]

𓏲 𓂃 L o s i n g Y o u

Part: 10

Click here to read the first part.

Summary: Everything was good as a member of Payback and Soldier Boy's secret girlfriend until the team and your relationship with him began to fall apart due to a new member and her developing relationship with Ben right in front of your eyes.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader

Warnings: heavy angst, hurt, language, Soldier Boy gets hurt, PTSD, mention of drugs, mention of torture, reader gets hurt

Word Count: 4245

A/N: English is not my first language.

♩ This is the song of the chapter, 'Alone and Together' by No Clear Mind.

When Ben sat down on the bed and waited, neither of you said anything or did anything for a while. You hated how he still treated you, so you turned your back on him while closing your eyes and avoiding the heavy feeling in your heart. You wanted to let things go, but you also felt like you had a lot to say to him about how deeply his actions had wounded you and how much you still suffered. You stayed mute because you knew that talking about it would only make things worse and give him the impression that you still cared.

All you longed for was for him to see how much his acts had hurt and pained you and to realize just how selfish he was. But you eventually realized that Ben wasn't someone who would actually listen to you, even for a brief moment. Even if you decided to give him another chance and let him get close to you again, he would still hurt you without considering the consequences or your feelings; therefore, it was best to let the past die in the past and leave memories of both joy and sorrow behind. These blissful days would never return.

You were ruminating so much that you shifted on the bed until your chest reached the edge, making it obvious that you didn't want to come into contact with him. Ben seemed to pause due to your behavior. 

“I don't bite,” he said, annoyed that you were making every effort to avoid him. This ended the quiet that lingered between you. “You can come a little closer. Sleep comfortable.” 

“I am comfortable.”

He sighed with annoyance as he made his way to the bed. Ben considered drawing a little closer to you, but he quickly dismissed this idea. You would become upset based on your response to his touch and your fragile attitude. Even though he didn't know you were in his thoughts at all times, he felt extremely hungry and affectionate toward you ever since he woke up. And though every cell in his body was screaming to be near you, to touch you, and to hold you close to him, the realization that you didn't feel the same way made him feel a little insecure—a feeling he wasn't used to experiencing in his connection with you.

He whispered, “You'll fall there,” in an attempt to persuade you.” I'm not going to touch you.” Again.

“It won't hurt if I fall, though.” In an attempt to find some solace, you took the entire blanket from him and placed it between your thighs. “I'm a supe too, remember?” you exclaimed. 

Ben leaned down at the head of the bed, his veiny and powerful arms supporting his head while he stared at his bare chest and tried not to smile when you took the blanket away from him a little too firmly. 

He abruptly muttered, “I'm sorry,” in a dry voice, trying to start a conversation while he continued to glance at your back and listen to your quiet, gentle heartbeats. 

“For what?”

How should he respond? For shoving you into the bed, sucking your nipples, kissing you out of the blue, and attempting to fuck you like a wolf in heat? Taking a big breath, he folded his arms across his chest and scowled, not knowing quite what to say. He didn't used to talk to you like this since you weren't that far away from him before he screwed things up. 

You attempted to contain your rage and kept your eyes closed because you didn't want to get into another fight with Ben, and you knew how sensitive his nerves were. You were also feeling a little anxious about his new, unpredictable abilities.

“Just don't do it again,” you simply said, trying to sound calm but firm. “I am serious, Ben.”

He wanted to argue, but he was at a loss for words. He answered, “Of course,” in a low voice, knowing that he shouldn't have behaved in that manner before speaking with you in an appropriate way.

Ben knew you moved too much when you slept, so even though he wanted to be near you, he went to the edge of the bed to give you enough room to make you feel comfortable and sleep in peace. While he listened to your calm breathing and watched as you swiftly fell off to sleep, he reminisced on your shared memories and felt sorrow for all that had happened between you, including how much he had messed up. He realized it would be difficult to win back your trust, but he knew he would do everything in his power to do so. He just didn't know how.

This morning, just after changing into your new clothes in the restroom, you ate breakfast quietly as Butcher and his buddies talked about Vought and the Seven. When Annie began to dispute with Butcher and Hughie, you did not interrupt them—in contrast to Ben, who was also having arguments with Butcher—and instead concentrated on your meal. 

“I'm just saying consuming those Temp-V's doesn't sound safe, and you're forcing Hughie to inject it in himself too,” Annie pointed to Hughie's face as he attempted to eat breakfast quietly.

Hughie stated, “He's not pressuring me. I'm taking Temp-V on my own initiative, and I find it to be really helpful,” he said quietly. Annie shot him a cold stare, which instantly caused him to stop talking. 

“Why the fuck are you all attacking me?” Butcher spoke while lifting his arms. “Temp-V is absolutely secure. It only grants us superpowers for a full day. Is there any damage in this” 

“Oh my god,” Annie muttered, irritated with Butcher's impetuous behavior. “Don't you think it's a bit atypical to play with your DNA that fluently?” 

“So what?” Annie was cut off by Ben's stern voice. “Even if it harms their biology, it's not wrong to use it since it's better to die than to live like a weak pussy.”

Butcher instantly agreed with Ben: “Soldier Boy's got a point,” and he gave Hughie a tight squeeze. “Besides, we are just a bunch of annoying losers against the Seven and Vought. You have to find them more for us because we need to use all of this trash. I don't want to shatter your little heart, love, but all you do is consume up my electricity, and right now we are outnumbered against them.”

Annie's jaw tightened as she glanced at Butcher, her eyes suddenly brightening with a deep shade of yellow. 

“Maybe your electricity can be useful at some points; what do you say?”

“Hey,” Butcher grinned at her and added, “Let's not spoil our family meeting. Stay calm. That's not how you keep your man, right?”

Hughie put his hand Annie's and softly said, “Can we talk about this later?”

Annie sighed angrily, shoving Hughie's hand away from her and getting to her feet, adding, “You know, I need to go, and we'll definitely talk about this again.”

As Butcher said Annie farewell before leaving the house after their argument, you and Ben were observing their facial expressions. Hughie looked at Ben, irritated, as he took his phone from him and began to play with it. You weren't asking anything, but you were occasionally peering in,om him even though you were rather interested in what he was doing with the phone. 

“We need two phones just like this one.” Ben abruptly said, “One for her, one for me,” holding up the device to Butcher's face. 

“Are you a teenager obsessed with technology?” He was instantly teased by Butcher, who gave him one of his nasty smiles. 

Ben looked at Hughie, who was kindly asking for his phone back, and said, “If you are not going to give us two phones, I'm going to take this,” but Ben wasn't even paying attention to Hughie at all. 

“Alright, we'll get your phones. Could you please return mine to me?” 

With a quick motion, you grabbed the phone out of Ben's hand and delivered it to Hughie while smiling. With a look of graditude on his face, he returned your shy smile. 

Ben said, glaring at Butcher's face, “Today,” giving Hughie no attention. 

“Alright,” Butcher agreed. “We'll buy your phones today and make sure you two watch the best porn and make yourself busy, alright?”

“Ben is a man of actions; he likes to screw every kind of woman in real life,” you sarcastically remarked, grimaced at Butcher's remarks and folding your arms over your chest. 

Ben immediately asserted, “I don't,” and you asked Butcher, “Can we already move to the place we're going to stay in?” without giving him the chance to respond to you. 

“Sure, sweetie, but let me have my breakfast in peace, and then we can leave.”

You watched the TV and the news until Butcher and the others finished their meal, which was less than an hour ago. You looked for any updates regarding Earving, but there was nothing at all. Everything on every channel was Homelander and political crap. 

You could tell he was a dangerous man by the way he used language, his professionalism in interviews, and his controlled facial expression. It appeared that Vought had discovered the ideal obedient superhero that fit their preferences.

Ben quietly murmured, “Hey, we're leaving,” as you were lost in idleness. 

You nodded to him, got up, and watched him pick up his shield from where he'd put it yesterday on the corner. That was the moment you realized you had never really used your powers. Since you weren't safe at all and you weren't sure whether you were experiencing any hidden side effects like Ben, you realized you wanted to exercise as soon as possible.

After leaving Kimiko and Frenchie at home, Butcher and Hughie took you to the place where you and Ben will be living for a while. Hughie kindly assisted you in learning how to use the phones that Butcher had purchased for you and Ben. You learned how to make calls easily, at least. Ben had complained that you just required his number and that no one else's was needed, but you disregarded him and asked Hughie to record everyone's number on your phone.

While you were looking over the house, Ben placed his shield in a corner. Despite its small size, you felt safer there than you would in the city since it was isolated. The smell of this place, which was like a forest, finally helped you to relax after the sickeningly heavy and dirty air of the city center.

Butcher put his hand in his pocket and stated, “You're just going to stay here for a while until me and my boys sort things out with the Vought and until you are a bit forgotten by the angry people of America. I'm telling you, though, don't leave the house. If you do, I'll know. I will occasionally check on you.”

“Go suck a friend's balls and make sure he puts his jizz in your empty mouth.” Ben scowled in frustration, set down the closest coach, and put his hands behind his head. “All you do is talk for fucks sake.”

Cursing him back in a mocking manner, Butcher dragged you into a corner and said, “You seem like a more reasonable supe than him, don't you? You should

stay inside the house, dear. I mean it. You have all you need here, and it's a pretty safe location. I will come see how you're doing.”

“Alright, alright.” You nodded to him after glancing at Ben, who had already begun watching TV, but you knew that he was keeping his ears on Butcher and you. “But what will happen afterwards?”

“You hand that off to your teammate and me. There are a lot of things to do here, and you'll have time to think about your future.”

“I just don't want to get sucked into something dangerous; I'm not a bad person, and I've already gone through a lot.” It felt uncomfortable to share your anxieties with him, but you knew you had to be clear from the beginning and that they needed to understand you.

“I don't even know how to fix things between myself and this country,” you added, crossing your arms over your chest. “And no offense, but I don't trust you and your friends at all.”

Ben grimaced as he heard your intimate conversation with Butcher, during which you confided your anxieties to him. Given that you had known one another for a long time, had an extensive amount of memories, and experienced similar experiences, he ought to have been the one with whom you opened up about everything. The idea that you would trust a complete stranger—someone you had just met—irritated Ben. He should have been to one you opened yourself. It was something else Ben needed to solve with you. 

Ben also knew that, as long as you were with him, nobody could hurt you. He would never be tricked again, and that is the sole reason he was captured. He would ensure that no one, not even himself, could ever hurt you again. 

“You have no other chance but to trust me and my boys though, right? Why being so ungrateful? I'm taking of you two well enough,” said Butcher with a sly smirk and gave you squeeze to your shoulder shortly just before he left the house.

None of you spoke as Butcher left the house, but after a while, you felt his heavy eyes on you as he shifted postures on the couch and watched the TV in silence.

Ben listened to you while you were taking a shower when he grew tired of watching television. Although he wasn't intentionally focusing on you, his supe hearing was drawn to you while you were around. He was compelled to listen to every sound you made. He couldn't deny that your presence soothed him either. Ben didn't care what the reason was as long as you were with him at that particular moment, which might have been anything different, something deeper, or the fact that you were the only person he actually trusted. He knew what you had was special.

You returned to the room after a long shower, changed into clean, gratefully new clothes, and saw him pour whiskey into his glass. You wondered whether his body could withstand a day without drugs or alcohol. 

“Why are you looking in such a way?” Ben took a sip of his drink and asked in a lighthearted manner. “I'm curious about what you're thinking right now.”

“I was wondering if you could just give up drinking or using drugs for a single day,” you asked, getting annoyed that he seemed okay with everything. happening. 

“I survived for decades without using them, sweetie,” he murmured, instantly putting an evil grin on his face. 

You changed the topic and said in a low voice, “Do you think they'll trick us? They can easily fill this house with the same gas that made us sleep for ages.”

Ben instantly stiffened up and felt aggressive as he considered the idea of being betrayed by teammates once more and returning to the lab in Russia. When he considered the years he wasted and the treachery he had experienced—years without you—it was difficult to contain his rage. 

He filled his glass once more and remarked, “They might try.” His eyes remained fixed on yours. “I doubt they would dare do such a thing. They really want that Homelander guy dead and are most likely attempting to kill that man for a very long period, but it seems that they ultimately fall unsuccessful.”

You shivered and felt uneasy when he brought about Homelander, and you whispered, “There has to be a reason why they can't handle a single supe, Ben.”

“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “They are just some weak, useless piece of shitbags, that's it, and that's why they need me.” 

“I watched Homelander, that man, on TV. He is undoubtedly skilled at manipulating the public and the media, and in today's society, power seems to be much more significant.”

“Remember what Butcher said: People easily forget, and they'll forget him as well when they realize he's not the strongest supe at all.” 

You scowled in annoyance at seeing Ben had no longer cared about the world or how things were working at all. You didn't know if he was up to something or whether he simply didn't give a damn other than killing Homelander. 

“Ben, I don't believe that getting rid of Homelander will resolve anything from our side. Can't you see how everyone hates me and you at the moment? If you attack Homelander and Vought, things will only become worse.” You replied angrily, annoyed by Ben's careless demeanor, “Butcher and his crew just want to use you against him.”

As he argued with you, Ben let go of the empty glass he was holding and sighed as he observed your annoyance growing. He trusted your strength, but at some point, he became uneasy about your vulnerability.

Ben vowed to destroy Vought and all Seven members when he was set free that day and began searching for you. He understood that the only way to get things going right would be to resolve the issue between you, him, and Vought. He would take over the whole company and form his own new team, proving to the world that he was the strongest supe and that nobody could stop him. In that way, he would be protecting you most importantly. For the time being, though, it was better the less you knew.

Ben said in a determined voice, “I won't let anything happen to you,” as he came nearer to you. Despite being too close and yearning to touch you, he refrained from doing so. “I would never let someone hurt you ever again.”

With a heavy heart, you whispered, “The only one who hurt me was you, Ben,” stepping back and creating some distance. Everything you wanted to say to his face was eating you alive, and you felt like you would blow out at any moment. “It seems like you didn't take any lessons from your mistakes, and you're going to make me drown with you again.”

He said, “I made a deal with Butcher,” ignoring your comments as he saw the sorrowful, icy look on your face. “I promised him that I would help him kill Homelander, and he would help me save you. A deal is a deal.”

Ben wanted you to know that he wasn't just going to break his word; in fact, what he was doing was for you. He was so desperate to find you that day that he was willing to kill Vought's top supe and everyone in a heartbeat. 

“Since when are you so keen on keeping your word?” You asked in a bitter voice. 

Ben was ready to tell you not to think about the past, but he stopped himself because he knew it would hurt and infuriate you even more. Instead, he whispered, “Since right now,” softly, and he slowly stepped forward to confront you. He simply knew it was time to have some conversation. “Look, I know what happened between us in the past wasn't just right, and I wasn't fair to you, but let me fix things.”

Perplexed by his words, you said, “Let you fix things?” Remembering every horrible thing he had done to you, your heart began to rush with hurt and despair, and he was still unable to truly apologize. “Ben, you abandoned me after cheating on me with Crimson. How can you fix something like that? Talking things out can help clear up misunderstandings, but not that.” 

He muttered, “I was wrong about everything and about you,” not knowing how to express how he felt. He found it much more difficult to open up when he saw the disappointed and cold expression in your eyes. “I cared about you a lot; I've always had, and now too. I didn’t know back then, but now I do.”

Ben didn't make a single effort to even slightly touch you, but he was too close to touch you again. For an instant, Ben's gaze lingered on your hands, his heart shattered by the longing to embrace and caress you. He never imagined you would be this different, but here you were. 

This time, you spoke gently, understanding that Ben was simply too blind to really see the damage that he had caused. “I don't think you'll even understand your actions, Ben,” you murmured. 

He opened his lips to say something, but you cut him off right away. “I gave you everything I could, Ben: loyalty, friendship, love, innocence, understanding... I never asked for anything in return. I accepted and loved you as you were.” 

You spoke softly, focusing your attention on his deep emerald eyes and hoping he could understand you. “I gave you everything I had, but you kept what we had concealed from everyone, made me feel like I was a rat, and I never once complained—you already know that I supported the choice you made from the start. When you proposed that our connection be kept secret, I mistakenly assumed that you were protecting me from Vought and everyone else. This was foolish of me, and I held onto this belief all the way to the end.”

Ben listened to you with a pained expression as you talked about the things that hurt you the most, finally.

You continued after a little period of silence between you, stating, “You acted as though you cared for me when we first met, when we were by ourselves. You threw me aside when Countess showed up, kicked me from the squad, and then you tried to bring me back. I attempted to make amends for whatever I had done, despite the harm you had done to me, believing that my actions were the cause of your behavior. However, you continued to ignore me, failing to recognize the true colors of her.”

The image of Crimson's face struck Ben's heart with rage. If he had simply killed her on the first day, none of this would have happened.

He whispered, “I know I should have listened to you, I wish I could turn back time,” cutting you off. “But you must know I never loved her.”

Ben was unsure of his feelings for you, but he knew he had never loved Crimson and never felt anything at all for her. All he knew was that he needed you by his side and that he cared passionately for you. Your presence filled his body and soul with warmth and comfort. It didn't matter the name of whatever he felt about you and what you shared; it was something deeper and more special than anything someone could share with another. At least he knew that for sure.

You gently answered in an understanding tone, “I know, Ben,” knowing that he would never cease to love anyone including you.

You came to the realization after all those years that nothing, not even giving your life for him, could win his affection. You used to think that if you gave him everything you had, there would be a way to win his heart. Nevertheless, nothing would be sufficient to win his love.

His gloved fingers, a tiny glimmer of hope in his heart, only lightly touched yours to gauge how comfortable you were with it. “I know I caused you so much pain you never ever deserved, and I'm sorry for everything I have done to you,” in a sincere voice. “But give me a chance to fix everything. All I want is you and your trust.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

“And I forgive you, Ben. For everything you have done,” you sincerely said, giving a nod to him, understanding that there was no going back and that what was done was done. “But my love is gone.”

Next Chapter

A/N: I don’t know how this is even going, but here we are. Kind of feeling insecure and hate writing nowadays to be honest. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated. They keep me going. Take care. “-“

*Losing You series masterlist is here.

Taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @xmariakx @spnfamily-j2 @suspicious-stain-in-spain @atomicsoulcollecto @yvonneeeee @starryperson @mfnqueen1 @chaand-sitara @boywivlove @stilinskisthings @brynanna @delaynew @yoyoanaria @n-o-p-e-never @ghostslillady @certifiedhaters @deans-spinster-witch @demodemo909 @stoneyggirl2 @cheynovak @libby99hb @moneyburner @jenn-777q @hey-there0-0

Let me know if you want to be tagged for this series. -`♡´-