#this. liar. so im like ‘didnt you have something to do’ and shes like ‘yeah but (insert excuse) so like’ and i fucking go LOL. like lol.
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jvzebel-x · 1 year ago
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🦋
#so i got a message from my sister telling me something rather tragic had happened in our family#on my mom's side. one of my aunties passed away&my little sister let me know.#she also let me know that my mother is taking it really hard&shed probably really like to hear from me.#&its weird bc any sadness i felt about my aunty dying almost completely evaporated upon it becoming a way to guilt me#into talking to my mother-- like i was not almost dead for a long LONG time&she was actively disowning me bc i wasnt sick the right way#after a lifetime of refusing to believe i was sick AT ALL which directly lead to developing cancer she screamed at me in public#that i was lying about before pretending to drive off a cliff&then refusing to pick up her phone until she called me an hour later#after i had been calling not just her but anyone in our family who could possibly check on her to tell me that i never loved her#&i wouldnt have cared if she died&it would have been my fault.#so like. i dont really give a fuck if shes taking a death in the family poorly? like i dont actually fucking care that this-- like literally#everything else-- needs to center my mother's bad feelings. i just fucking dont lmao.#&im really fucking pissed off that i now have to feel like shit bc i dont feel like i properly feel bad#about my family member dying bc IT BECAME ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER IMMEDIATELY.#i do not fucking UNDERSTAND.#i cannot even put into words how this all makes me feel lmao. why. literally fucking why.#the cherry on top? my aunty died of gastric issues. you know. the family curse that i def didnt get so i got to work thru it all#while being called a liar. you know the type of illness that almost killed ME. that might STILL kill me.#but yeah my mom is sad so i should call&make sure to hold her hand like i always fucking did lets just forget an entire lifetime#&esp the last five years thatll be totally cool.#a tragedy happened in the family so fuck all MY tragedies actually i guess.
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hyperexplosion · 1 year ago
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.
#vent again just ignore please and thank you. chewing at my arm. ik why we have to wait till next year for me to get help i do know why and#i understand but it also just sucks. its at least helping though no matter what i just gotta hold on but i rly dont want to hold on anymore#id say i sound pathetic or worthless but im not. ik im not. talked about mental health with my best friend today snd idk made me so self#aware of myself i feel gross and ugly. i cant even look in mirror by how ugly i am. i want to drink. i really want to drink. it sucks.#ditched or the person seems bored.. there's no point lmai.#the craving sucks. im sleepin almost all day and than night fucking sucks. i should be sleeping now but i need to write my thoughts out or#i will feel worse i will feel so much worse snd i dont want to be a burden. i dont want to bother people. i hope when im like.. getting hel#and getting better i hope i can like idk not be afraid to ask people to vibe with me. maybe one day but im so scared amount i have been#and sorry tired of hearing same 'just do something distract yourself' yeah only so much a distraction is s distraction. i never felt this#low.. i never felt this low for months now. im so tired idk this week is busy maybe that will help. maybe decorating for my fav holiday wil#help my brain a little. than again why would she want me around. i think about how dad asked mom if i was okay on my birthday. is the facad#fading? are people catching on? i need to stop before i see my brother on friday. even my best friend noticed he hugged me but i didnt even#hug back i just leaned into him for awhile before moving away. i want to die. will i? no. i wont. im too scared. but i want to.#i can sleep now.#i think people should stop lying i hate liars i am not afraid to drop anyone that does.
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yothangie · 1 month ago
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First date?!… HELL NO
Genre: dad san, husband san, overprotective dad, teenage daughter, angst, fluff at the end
Summary: Your daughter (15) gets asked out, her first date. San doesn’t like it, he doesn’t approve, he is in overprotective dad mode.
Wrd cnt: idk i lost count 😭
Join the taglist Dad ateez Masterlist
"mom guess what" your daughter enters the house.
"remember the guy i told you about"
"i remember you telling me about 2 guys" you replied
"im talking about the guy that dances at dads studio" she clarifies
you nod your head along, pretending that you remember who the guy is.
"anyways, before class ended he asked me out on a date" your daughter squealed.
"oh thats nice, does your dad know? since the boy is from his studio" you asked.
"god no, he cannot know so please don't tell him" she plead
"you know he's gonna find out eventually and he's not gonna be happy" you said
"he's not gonna be happy regardless, he scares all the guys that go near him" she pouts
"I can't be friends with uncle Yunhos son cause dad glares at him"
you let out a small laugh as your daughter pouts.
“you should go freshen up before your dad gets back” you said
your daughter rushes up to her room knowing her dad takes forever in the shower.
———
After a few minutes your husband San walks through the door, a little tense that usual.
“is everything okay?” you said
he sighs and leans over the counter.
“i heard a little rumor at the studio” he starts
You had a feeling what the ‘rumor’ was but you didnt want to give anything away
“what rumor did you here” you asked
“funny rumor, that one of my advanced students asked out MY daughter on a date” he said he almost sounded offended.
“why is that funny” you questioned
“it’s funny because she knows she’s not allowed to date and apparently she said yes”
“did she happen to say anything to you by any chance” he asked
you tried your best to not make it seem obvious but San has known you for years he was quick to catch on.
“no she didn’t” you quickly said.
“are you sure” he raised an eyebrow.
“yeah, she just came and told me about her routine and went to go wash off”
“liar!” he said
“she didn’t do any routines today she practiced her tumbling and tricks”
you looked away knowing you messed up, you pretended you needed something to do in the kitchen.
“she told you didn’t she” san followed you.
he grabbed your arm turning you around, making some heavy eye contact.
“you know i don’t like it when you lie to me” he said
you bite your lip full of nerves, you didn’t want to throw your daughter under the bus.
“yes mom knows and it’s not a rumor”
you both looked over and see your daughter sitting at the table. San let’s go of you and walks over to your daughter.
“so you did get asked out” San said
“i did and i told him yes” your daughter said
“well tomorrow tell him no”
“i’m not, im going out with him” she stands up
“no you’re not, I’m not allowing you” san says crosses his arms
“are you serious?”
“yes im serious and that’s final” san sternly says
“you never let me do anything, you put me in a all girls class, i can’t be friends with uncle yunhos son cause you’re always glaring at him, i can’t even go out with my friends, hell they don’t even ask anymore cause they know you won’t let me i just want to live my life without having you be overprotective all the time” she snaps and storms off to her room.
“was i too harsh” San turns to you.
“a little” you replied
“was she right though” he mumbled
“kinda in a way” you ran your fingers through his hair.
“like what”
“well, umm everything” you said
“you can be very overprotective at times, it can sometimes make her sad”
“do i make her sad” san pouts
“you know she tells me everything right”
San slumps on your shoulder, letting out a little whine.
“i just want to protect her, i never want to see her sad and heartbroken” he said
“i know but she’s growing up and eventually she’s gonna have to experience all this” you said
“what do i do? i made my princess sad”
you pulled san away from you, turning him around and pushing him towards your daughters room.
“go talk and apologize to her, that’s all she wants” you advised.
San takes a deep breath before knocking on the door.
“princess can i come in” he says
the silence on the other side scares him, he looks over at you not knowing if he should go in or not, you signaled him to open the door and go in.
He does just that and sees his daughter curled up on her bed facing the wall, he moves closer and sits on the bed.
Your daughter sniffles a bit before turning to see her dad sitting up a bit.
One thing San hated was seeing his precious daughter cry, it’s even worse cause he was the reason for these tears.
“I’m sorry” he engulfed her in hug
“i didn’t realize how overprotective i was until you snapped”
“i’m sorry i snapped at you” you daughter said.
“don’t apologize, you have every right to” San wipes her tears.
“it just hurts to see you grow up, i didn’t think it would be this fast”
“does that mean you’ll let me go out with him” your daughter said, she added her pretty please face san can’t say no to.
“NO! you’re not dating till you’re 30” he pushed her closer to him
“dad please!” she whines
“fine, he’s a good guy and i can trust him around you” he said
“yay! thank you thank you” she squeals
“but on one condition”
“your mom and i go drop you off and pick you up” he said
“deal!”
“and no kissing or hand holding or hugging” san said
“ugh you can’t be serious” she whined.
“do we have a deal” san smirked
“deal”
San let out a big smile hugging his daughter again.
“dad can you please go freshen up”
—————
please comment or use my ask to be added to the taglist my urls are not working 💔
Taglist: @reooreo @starhwahwa @nnnarchives @enbymingi @nvdhrzn @strawberry-cube @jjoongstar @tinyelfperson @soso59love-blog @pai-fe @Kkumiikumii @blackb3ll @marvelfanatic4life @n3neni @everythingboutkpop @taz-97 @aloverga
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mqonlighting · 9 months ago
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yeah i lied. missing her real bad rn so im touching on it in tags again! if u saw this heres an update if u didnt then do not read it!
will be burying this again after
real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.
will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again
#i fully think im going insane because you know how we’re like kinddd of in a band together now and we obviously have to rehearse and allat#SO YES first of all the night before our rehearsal i texted her asking to send me smt since we were gonna play for this like church thing i#school and instead of replying to me she screenshots my msg and sends it in the gc for all the other instrum and is like ‘uh oh someones no#prepared’ AND I FULLY WANTED TO SHOOT MYSELF??? LIKE GIRL?? anyways the day rolls around and i intentionally run like 5 mins late bc yk i#dont wanna look SUUPER desperate but when i show up theyre like ‘PRACTICE LATER YEAH’ and i didnt even expect them to remember nor want to#acknowledge it and i was like ‘YEAH I KNOW’ and they were like ‘did you learn the songs’ and i fully didnt so they kinda gave me this jokin#ly disappointed stare and itdoesjr even mean anything they actuallt just make me want to kms BUT ALSO WE WER LIKE LAUGHING AT EACH OTHER AN#W EACH OTHER THE WHOLE TIME WE WERE PLAYING AND I JUSTUGUGHGHGHGH guys i miss her so bad its insane…… ok but then thats not even the import#ant part the important part is the REHEARSAL. so rehearsals eventually come and im like actuallt tweaking actually not ready to do it actua#ly scared for my life. but then i find out that theyre gonna run a litttle bit late (supposedly) which kinds puts my mind at ease a little#so im like fine i’ll come in a little early since i have time to gather my thoughts! i walk inw like two of my friends and i ask them to#check who’s inside the venue to make sure im NOT alone! and they see the pianist first so im like ok cool! and THEN. AND THEN THEY PEEK A#TINY BIT FURTHER AND THEY SEE. THAT FUCKING LOSER. SITTING ALONE PLAYING GUITAR. AND I ACRUSLLY WANTED TO STRANGLE HER BECAUSE IF I KNEW SH#WAS GOING TO BE THERE ALREADY. I WOULD HAV COME IN LATE. so i have no choice but im fully in shock so my jaw is dropped when i walk in and#accidentally make eyecontact w her while my jaw is dropped so she drops her jaw back (cute) and i hav to shut my yap and actuallt say smt t#this. liar. so im like ‘didnt you have something to do’ and shes like ‘yeah but (insert excuse) so like’ and i fucking go LOL. like lol.#the acronym. then i make some dumb excuse to go down and get smt and my friends and i SPRRINT down like i didnt even need to get anything i#was just tweaking and in shock but i eventually come back and my friends!! leave!! uh oh!! .. and its so awkward at first but im like going#up to them asking questions and at some point they. SIT. BESIDE. ME. LIKE. WILLINGLY. SO CLOSE. and is just like ‘okay so i hav this arrang#ement in mind’ and i have to pretend like i give two shits so i pretend to complain abt it and they just laugh to me. I LVOEIRIEIEOEOTJTHAT#FLIPPING LAUGH. i was expecting them to ignore me the whole rehearsal bcz like?? theyre already friends w the other members so why talk to#me?? but they kept checking in on me and everything and being like ‘ok you get it right’ AND AUAUAUWHO MADE YOUU and i was just like yup#cool yes and also um. so. i was playing one of the songs wrong and i think they noticed so they went up to me like ‘theres a better variati#n i wanna show u’ and i couldn’t get it while they were explaining so. this bitch. WITHOUT WARNING. PICKS UP MY FINGERS AND STARTS LAYING#THEM OUT ON THE FRETBOARD. I AM INTERNALLY SCREAMING BUT EXTERNALLY JUST LIKE uh huh! makes sense! and i didnt even end up playing that#version because i was so distraught and HOMOSEXUAL and eventually we stop to hav some downtime and im pretending to do hw (texting my frien#everything) and them n the others r like vibing to bruno mars and someone barges into the venue and is like looking for someone?? so the#bassist thinks its me but it turns out its someone else. and i go like ‘omg i gen thought that was me’ and THEYRE LIKE ‘omg me too good#thing’ ??? HI ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ME TOO. but the whole time theyre just being so considerate making sure im ok laughing at my jokes they#remembered what time i was leaving i cant do this anymore i hate this girl i aheyher i hate THIS GIRL PLEASE GIVE ME SOME TIME I HATE HERRR
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sturniolo04 · 5 days ago
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The Confession 3 C.S.
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Fwb!Mean!Chris x Fwb!Fem!Reader
A/N: I tried something different :)
A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)
*Really long you have been warned.
it has been a full week since madi and Matt have been together and since Jess's Mom visited Boston and jess has been extremely distant with Chris. Anytime her and madi come over to our house she always in Nick's room and its honestly kind of bugging chris because she's his best friend she can talk to him about anything... right
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it's been a week and it is Sunday and Jess and Madi are at our house and Jess had routinely made her way to Nick's room but today was kind of different. Keep in mind Nick never talked to her about what they saw with her and chris a week ago because it is not his place but because today she seems a little off.
"you okay over there"
he states to the girl pacing back and forth in front of his bed
"yeah why wouldnt i be"
you reply stopping in your tracks to do so
"you seem weird you sure"
"yeah im okay"
"okay"
he trails off looking back at his phone but then building up the courage to ask you the question he didnt really want to ask
"hey so jess"
"hm"
"you and chris... do you.. you know like him"
"what why would you ask that no ew"
you exclaims already knowing youre is lying
"oh my god you little liar you totally do"
he exclaims as he notices her blushing at the mention of his name
"thats so bad i know"
you state covering your face
"does he know"
"no" 
you trail off
"ive been being extremely weird about it ive been avoiding him since last week and i think he knows thats what i have been doing."
"oh so am i the first person to know"
"no i told madi and her mom first last week after mcdonalds and everything"
"what" 
"yeah it just came out i wasnt trying to confess that at that moment it just happened."
you trail off looking at you phone to see a imessage from the one and only Christopher
"who is it"
"chris"
you sigh out setting your phone on the floor next to you where you were sitting
"what does he want"
"to talk" 
"oh" 
"yeah and im just not ready to say it yet at least not to him"
"so what are you going to do then"
"not talk to him"
"madi"
"what if i talk to him i freeze up his makes me nervous and i dont want to admit that to him yet"
"understandable but he's still your bestfriend and you cant avoid him forever"
"yeah i know"
you exclaim laying on the floor as Matt and madi walk into Nick's room
"jess.."
"yess madii"
"she doesnt want to talk to chris and is avoiding him"
"i think everyone noticed you were purposely avoiding him"
"its that obvious"
"uhh yes" 
she states looking at jess
"ughh"
you exclaim covering your face
"come on"
she states reaching your hands out for jess to grab
"where are we going"
"to film a youtube video"
"noo im staying here"
you pouts sitting on nick's floor again knowing you would be sitting next to chris in the van
"J come on it will be fun"
"for me please"
she pouts as you gives in standing up and grabing your shoes
"ill get chris"
he states walking back downstairs to find him sitting on couch on his phone
"hey loser"
he shouts grabbing his attention
"we are leaving to go film come on"
"fine"
he sighs out as madi and jess and nick have finally made their way downstairs making eye contact with jess
"lets go already"
you state breaking eye contact grabbing madi's hand leading her out of the door
"why is she being like that"
he finally exclaims to his brothers looking at matt then nick who were standing in the same room 
"i dont know she's.."
he trails off looking at nick
"jess'
"what the fuck did i do i have no fucking clue at all"
"ask her"
"i tried she completely ignored my text messages"
he confesses as nick and matt look at each other
"lets just get this video filmed and we will figure it out"
he states walking of the house with them
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You were completely not paying attention to what we were even talking about you were just simply staring out the window ignoring everyone
"HELLO earth to jessica"
"what"
you reply bluntly looking at all the eyes on you
"did you hear the question i asked you"
"no"
"wow okay"
he states offended getting out of the van with Matt following
you heard the question clearly. he basically asked you to admit what your problem is with him and why you have and am ignoring him still.
"jess"
"what im sorry"
"youre breaking him"
"i dont mean to i just"
"okay you need to say something"
"no madi i cant"
"you have until the end of our Hawaii trip to do so"
"no nick come on thats like 2 weeks"
"exactly figure it out"
he states getting out of the van to find matt and chris
"what going on with you jess"
"I dont knoww madi i just have been so scared he wont like me back like that"
"thats why you wont say anything"
'yeah its not that i dont want to  i just dont want to get hurt"
"yeah i know"
she trails off as the front van door opens to reveal matt
"hey can you sit back with jess chris is actually upset"
he states as madi nods her head as jess start silently sobbing as everyone switches spots
"matt drop us at our house please"
she states breaking the unbearing silence in the van from everyone
"okay"
he replys as he looks at jess trying to sob silently
taglist
@mintsturniolo @wh0resstuff @dirtylittleheart333 @emely9274
@stayingstromboli @spicymuffins03
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kindestofkings · 1 year ago
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photography era
inhaler x reader (platonic)
potential elijah hewson x reader (romantic) ??
reader is childhood bestfriends/ who doubles up as their occasional photographer, who the lads are trying convince to go on tour with them!
authors note: heyyyy so this is my first time every writing/posting something on tumblr so please be kind 🥹 social media aus are my guilty pleasure so i thought id try my had at one ! let me know what you think <33
yourusername
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liked by bobbyskeetz and others
yourusername graduated college baby, celebratory drinks, idiots returned to the homeland, re entering my photographer era, (rare) pretty bus seens, my girls <3
view all 100 comments
bobbyskeetz at least this idiot doesn’t still get the bus at the ripe of 24…
yourusername WHO HURT YOU ROBERT ?!??
collegefriend no cause im gonna miss seeing your cute face every day
yourusername no cause I cant think about it or ill get all sad !!
yourusernamecollegefriend we’ll do coffee loads
inhalerfan1 wait who’s this girl?? How does she know the boys?
inhalerfan2 they’re all mutual friends! they all grew up together, think they met during school :)
inhalerfan3 she’s really into photography, she took alot of the bands earlier pics!!
elijahhewson great no excuse now come on tour with us
ryanmcmahon_15 yeah or youll be a big fat liar
joshjenkinson_ yeah time to join your idiots on tour!
yourusername …. dont tempt me
inhalerfan2 omg to be her
(liked by 50 users)
inhalerdublin
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liked by yourusername and others
inhalerdublin dont mind us, just dreaming of festival season. not long now 📸 @lewevans
view all 66 comments
joshjenkinson_ 🤘🏼🤘🏼
bobbyskeetz oh baby take me backkk
ryanmcmahon_15 who are those good lookin fellas?
inhalerfan1 me 🤝 ryan
thinking bobby and eli are goodlookin
(1.2k likes)
yourusername @lewevans the man that you are, these a sick photos 🔥
lewevans cheers mate! hopefully see you in action this time around ?
(liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_)
yourusername oh ffs not you too 🫠
yourusername hahah U2 @elijahhewson
elijahhewson ….right prepared to be blocked
yourusername wait no no no come back! I dont even know who bono is !!
elijahhewson removed you as a follower !
yourusername added to their story
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- bobbyskeetz hahahahhaha what an idiot
- joshjenkinson_ oh the receipts are coming out
- ryanmcmahon_15 well you know this is never gonna work to get back in the good books right?
- keep going tho
yourusername
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liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others
yourusername so ill watch you life in pictures like a used watch you sleep 😭
Its now been a million days since my “best friend” cut all contact with me, come back guggi be here 💔
view all 1,000 comments
inhaler1 holy shit these photos are something else
inhaler2 was just thinking this! Ive never seen them before
yourusername heyyy they were acc taken by me! my camera roll is plagued with these boys at this stage lol xx
inhalerfan4 wow i didnt know eli could smile..
bobbyskeetz its yn’s superpower
inhalerfan4 fwfagshsjue wtf hi bobby
joshjenkinson_ and by a million you mean 1 day right?
ryanmcmahon_15 and we were literally all together last night
yourusername god forbid a girl exaggerates every now and again 😀
inhalerfan3 wait omg are they dating?? he looks so boyfriend in these
inhalerfan5 omg they have to be you are so right
inhalerfan2 jesus they’ve said so many times she their bestFRIEND dont be weird
elijahhewson accepted your follow request!
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kindkingsarchieve · 1 year ago
Text
photography era
inhaler x reader (platonic)
potential elijah hewson x reader (romantic) ??
reader is childhood bestfriends/ who doubles up as their occasional photographer, who the lads are trying convince to go on tour with them!
authors note: heyyyy so this is my first time every writing/posting something on tumblr so please be kind 🥹 social media aus are my guilty pleasure so i thought id try my had at one ! let me know what you think <33
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by bobbyskeetz and others
yourusername graduated college baby, celebratory drinks, idiots returned to the homeland, re entering my photographer era, (rare) pretty bus seens, my girls <3
view all 100 comments
bobbyskeetz at least this idiot doesn’t still get the bus at the ripe of 24…
yourusername WHO HURT YOU ROBERT ?!??
collegefriend no cause im gonna miss seeing your cute face every day
yourusername no cause I cant think about it or ill get all sad !!
yourusername collegefriend we’ll do coffee loads
inhalerfan1 wait who’s this girl?? How does she know the boys?
inhalerfan2 they’re all mutual friends! they all grew up together, think they met during school :)
inhalerfan3 she’s really into photography, she took alot of the bands earlier pics!!
elijahhewson great no excuse now come on tour with us
ryanmcmahon_15 yeah or youll be a big fat liar
joshjenkinson_ yeah time to join your idiots on tour!
yourusername …. dont tempt me
inhalerfan2 omg to be her
(liked by 50 users)
inhalerdublin
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liked by yourusername and others
inhalerdublin dont mind us, just dreaming of festival season. not long now 📸 @lewevans
view all 66 comments
joshjenkinson_ 🤘🏼🤘🏼
bobbyskeetz oh baby take me backkk
ryanmcmahon_15 who are those good lookin fellas?
inhalerfan1 me 🤝 ryan
thinking bobby and eli are goodlookin
(1.2k likes)
yourusername @lewevans the man that you are, these a sick photos 🔥
lewevans cheers mate! hopefully see you in action this time around ?
(liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_)
yourusername oh ffs not you too 🫠
yourusername hahah U2 @elijahhewson
elijahhewson ….right prepared to be blocked
yourusername wait no no no come back! I dont even know who bono is !!
elijahhewson removed you as a follower !
yourusername added to their story
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- bobbyskeetz hahahahhaha what an idiot
- joshjenkinson_ oh the receipts are coming out
- ryanmcmahon_15 well you know this is never gonna work to get back in the good books right?
- keep going tho
yourusername
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liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others
yourusername so ill watch you life in pictures like a used watch you sleep 😭
Its now been a million days since my “best friend” cut all contact with me, come back guggi be here 💔
view all 1,000 comments
inhaler1 holy shit these photos are something else
inhaler2 was just thinking this! Ive never seen them before
yourusername heyyy they were acc taken by me! my camera roll is plagued with these boys at this stage lol xx
inhalerfan4 wow i didnt know eli could smile..
bobbyskeetz its yn’s superpower
inhalerfan4 fwfagshsjue wtf hi bobby
joshjenkinson_ and by a million you mean 1 day right?
ryanmcmahon_15 and we were literally all together last night
yourusername god forbid a girl exaggerates every now and again 😀
inhalerfan3 wait omg are they dating?? he looks so boyfriend in these
inhalerfan5 omg they have to be you are so right
inhalerfan2 jesus they’ve said so many times she their bestFRIEND dont be weird
elijahhewson accepted your follow request!
part 2
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Text
Hey so. its been a while. I havent had a lot of energy these past few weeks and when I did I didnt really wanna spend that energy on this bad book series, but its the weekend and its been wayyyy too long and I need to finish ACOMAF before shit starts falling out of my sieve of a brain. As always, I am motivating myself with the prospect of contuining to work on a proshot of the takarazuka production elisabeth after this, the 2014 flower troupe one specifically ^-^ or maybe I'll watch a fucked up black and white movie from the 20s thats two and a half hours long, we'll see
Today we're reading chapter 53, the precursor to The most infamous chapter 54. Im not gonna lie, I kinda forgot most of what happened last time. There was a mate reveal, Rhysand was being really pathetic which made him hot to me for the first time in about 600 pages of me knowing him, Feyre was super pissed so they sent her to the mountain cabin to cool off a bit and paint, i think thats it
is it just me or is it kinda weird that Feyre is fantasizing about green grass and flowers and flowing rivers when the NC so far has been defined by being a very wintery place. Like yeah, obviously they have seasons in the solar courts but like, theres a lot of mountains which means a lot of snow, its the most nothern court etc
And Feyre didnt like winter in the first book because she associated it with bad times at the cabin so that makes sense but idk. I feel like if youre retconning her so much already you could easily wrie something about how she actually likes winter now that she has the power to withstand it or something but no, sure, have her fantasize about very spring-y weather in the book where the spring court gets demonized to hell and back why not
'[Rhysand] would give me the money for my shop, for what I was offering would cost nothing. Maybe I would sell my paintings to pay him back the money. Because I wanted to do that under any corcumstance, soulmates or not.' I was gonna write something snarky about Feyre in ACOSF but then it hit me that shes never going to have financial independance from Rhysand ever again and now Im just sad and anxious for her
(sry, im too lazy to translate this whole paragraph rn) '[Rhysand and I would do a bunch of fun stuff that couples do.] Never again someones slave or whore.' Its so wild to me that shes saying all this about the guy who made her his slave and whore MULTIPLE TIMES AT THIS POINT. like hey sarah, do you think your readers dont remember all that? do you think constantly calling back to it will make them forget somehow
Ive seen some people describe this book as gaslighting and honestly, its not even that its just lying. this story is just a bunch of lies that keep contradicting or otherwise disturbing eachother because the person telling it isnt even a good liar
Okayyyyy this chapter was a lot shorter than anticipated can you tell i dont plan these out at all but i dont feel like doing more than this and also while I was reading i got a really good idea for an Anastasia AU for a different fandom im in and I keep getting distracted and I wanna start working on it as soon as possible. And also, I'd like to be focused when I finally read that most infamous of chapters, thank you and good afternoon
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cloudcountry · 1 year ago
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Okay Get Ready i have like 355382638 screenshots of shakespeares route because i. have been so busy and i haven't been able to post anything AND I EVEN MISSED ALL MY ROUTES YESTERDAY HELP
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okay...i didn't realize we were starting this far back....um so yeah!!!!
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BOOOOO STOP PLAYING THE VILLAIN ROLE I KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING. YOURE PUTTING ON A VILLAINOUS FRONT TO PROTECT YOURSELF. BULL SHIT!!!!!
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OH SHIT??? that's why shakespeare was with robert. hm!! interesting.
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I KNEW YHAT ALREADY KEEP UP SHAKEY BOY.
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WAOT WHAT shut up you don't mean that :T you're literally such a liar LMAOOOO you're not lying about comte though he'd beat ASS
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OKAY OW THAT ACTUALLY HURT NY FEELINGS A LITTKE :(((( WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN HELLO WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU???
still....if vincent is friends with him there's no way he's terrible.
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HE SLIPPED IT WHERE.
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LOVES HOT FURY.?? DIDNT YOU JUST SAY YOU HATED ME??? AND I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT LOVONG YOU WHAT
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?!?!? COMTE :(((( HES SO PROTECTIVE ITS SO SWEET,,,,, IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME A LIL SAD
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HE IS A FINE DANCER AND HE WOULD JAVE BEEN FINER IF HE DIDNT KNOCK ME OUT AND KIDNAP ME BUT OK!!!!
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girl i don't think...hes going to :C
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ughhhh them caring about my safety will ALWAYS get me. ALWAYS. it's such. a punch in the gut IN A GOOD WAY.
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......WHY IS HE SO CRYPTIC. JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN YOU SILLY ACTOR. YOU WANNA DANCE FOR ME HUH? YOU WANT TO SING A LITTLE SONG??? THIS ISNT A STAGE YOU KNUCKLEHEAD (i care about you please tell me if something's wrong :C)
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i love how she's like "FUCK he smells nice >:T AND he knows my tastes >:T shut the FUCK up will."
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HEY?? JWHDJWBJDJE WHAT?!?!??!? HOLD ON WHAT. HOLD ON. GIRLIE....DID YOU THINK TJIS THROUGH
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WHAT EFYJ FUCKN?!???!!! HELLO EXCUSE ME?!??? WJY WAS THAT ATTRACTIVE WHAT THE FUCK I DONT WANT TO LEARN ABOUT MYSELF RIGHT NOW.
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I HAYE THIS I HAYE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS
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i can practically hear every person in the mansion screaming in agony....
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I DONT WANT TO GO PLEASE PELASE DONT MAKE ME GO PLEASE DHHEHXHJSBXJD I DONT WANT TO I HATE THISSSSSSS SPLEASE CAN I STAY I DONT WANT TO GI
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NOOOO TRUST ME THEO I DIDNT WANT TO HURT HIM :((( I HATE THIS I CANT BELIEVE WE JUST HURT VINCENT I WANT TO BASH MY HEAD INTO A WALL
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DAMN OKAY THEO WILL ISNT THAT BAD,,, why am i trying to defend him. BECAUSE I HAVE FAITH.
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AWWWWWW ISAAC :((( IM SO SORRY SEBASTIAN LMAOOO YOURE SO SILLY I CANT HELP BUT GIGGLE ^^;
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aww :C he cares :C i have no idea what the "rotza-" part means but i can infer what "gadvergamme" means ^^;
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DAMN EVEN AFTER VINCENT YELLED AT HIM??? wait im actually so touched,,, that's so sweet of him. he respects his brother so much so for him to stand his ground even after vincent tells him to back off? wow.
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WHAT THE FUCK WE JUST GOT HERE
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SJGZHWHGSH WHY IS THIS CUTE TO ME IM NOT A CLOWN YOU IDIOT FIGHT ME
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YEA LITERALLY CAN I BE YOUR HOUSEKEEPER INSTEAD???? AND WHY ARE WE SO CLOSE NOW????? THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING?????????
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YVES??? IS THAT YOU???? CUPCAKE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!! I DID NOT AGREE TO THIS!!!!!!!!
that's the image limit folks HOPEFULLY I'LL GET TO PART TWO TODAY ^^ !!!!
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moodr1ng · 5 months ago
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like prev post is one example i happen to be talking about for once but ig what i mean is like. every little small inconsequential thing that my mind could turn into "you look suspicious right now", that i could possibly suspect means someone thinks poorly of me (w no evidence of that whatsoever), that i can possibly twist into somehow being about how Everyone Secretly Hates Me And Thinks Im A Liar And A Fraud, i will. the most minor things. every day of my life. i am plagued by a constant fear that everyone thinks im always lying, that everyone is always suspecting me of Something, all the time.
every time i go to the pharmacy to pick up my completely normal mental health medications i think "the pharmacist thinks im a malingerer whos faking mental illness to try and get drugs". when they ask "thats two boxes right?" im terrified of saying "yes", even though yeah, my prescription is for two boxes of these meds, bc if i say "yes, give me two boxes and not one", its gonna be confirmation that im a liar whos just trying to get more meds. even though thats. literally just what im prescribed.
its like that about everything. i have to overperform truthfulness at all times, because just knowing im telling the truth isnt enough, i also have to convince everyone else that im telling the truth, all the time, because Everyone Always Thinks Im A Liar in my mind. if i, like, tell a friend on discord "going to bed now!" and then while getting ready for bed i make one last post on tumblr like 5 minutes later i think "my friend is gonna see this and think i lied about going to bed and that i was trying to avoid them on purpose because im a bad friend". if i tell someone about a condition i have i assume they doubt i actually have it and think im lying for attention. if i tell people im bigender and they react with total acceptance i think "theyre actually thinking im obviously just a binary man who is lying about being bigender so i can intrude upon women in some way, but they cant say it bc they dont want to look transphobic". if i tell people about abuse i suffered as a child and they react with horror and compassion i think "theyre thinking im making it up or exaggerating so i can get pity, theyre just forced to pretend they believe me to not be rude". if im having a mental health episode and someone is concerned about my well being i think "they think im doing this on purpose and putting on a show to force them to take care of me". and if i try to tell my therapist about symptoms im experiencing i think "he thinks literally everything i say about my mental health is a lie i tell so i can get on disability and get meds, so i have to hide part of my symptoms from him because the less i tell the less suspicious i am". i literally cant discuss this very belief w my therapist because i am convinced that if i told him "im constantly terrified that everyone, including you, thinks im lying about everything so i can get attention or some other benefit" he would think "ah, my liar patient is claiming that hes afraid of being seen as a liar to throw me off his scent. this is actually more proof that hes lying, hes laying down the precedent that hes not a liar in order to cover further lies".
all the time. all the time. and i cant make it stop. and i cant talk about it because i think anyone i tell about this is going to think "ah, yes, The Liar is insisting shes not a liar, which only a liar would do". i literally think anyone reading this very post is going to think "youre talking about this too much, youre trying too hard to come off as truthful, obviously youre trying to cover up your lies, in fact this very post proves you do lie about being mentally ill and abused and you lie to your therapist to get drugs and you probably stole that girls bonnet too, everything you say you didnt do is just a preemptive cover for having done it".
but well. if i keep refusing to talk about it im only feeding it. because the more i avoid talking about it to not trigger it, the more i reinforce the idea that "if i talk about it, everyone will turn against me" as legitimate. so, whatever, i guess. im just very tired, you know. i wish it would stop sometimes. i wish i could trust that anyone regards me in good faith. i think it also sucks of me to assume the worst out of everyone like this - to just think everyone is out to get me or always regarding me in the worst possible light. idk. i just wish i could make it stop. ill make an effort to finally tell my therapist tomorrow. but idk if ill have the guts yet.
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taurus-spacecraft · 10 months ago
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Okokokokok sooooo she's in the art department of a bunch of shows and she worked oN DOCTOR WHO (that bitch (affectionate)) she made the spinning fireplace if you know what im talking about. Anyway. One day (when she was working on doctor who) she was sitting down for lunch and DAVID FUCKING TENNANT asked if he could sit at her table because he was sick of sitting with the actors, so they had lunch together and she didn't even know who he was and she told me this story last year I think and she mentioned it SO casually like "oh yeah he was super nice. Very tall. His nose is bigger than it looks on tv. OH i just remembered do you know neil gaiman?" And I was hyperventilating at this point and I tried not to freak out cos he's my favorite author and I said "oh yeah i read a couple of his books-" -you know, like a liar. I read all of them. Multiple times.- "what about him?" And she said "well im pretty sure i worked on something of his too-" -please don't say good omens please don't say good omens please don't say good omens- "i think it was anansi boys?" -oh thank god i can be a tiny bit less obsessed about this one- "but i can't remember what we talked about" and I went "YOU TALKED TO HIM???" and she said "yeah it was probably about bricks or something" and I, flabbergasted, asked "bricks? You encounter sir neil himself and you talk about bricks?" And she was a bit offended and said "well i had to know what vibe the bricks were supposed to be don't you think?" And at that point the conversation ended and I haven't stopped being jealous of my cousin having lunch with David tennant and talking about bricks with neil. She also worked on BBC sherlock. Kill me now.
Anyway yeah that's the story sorry it's so long I just can't help telling this to every new good omens fan I meet.
i mever watches doctor who so dont know BUT OMG SHE WAS SO LUCKY AND SHE DIDNT FREAK OUT????? AND JUST ATE WITH HIM???? I THINK WE WOULD DIE THERE
AMAZING STORY I DONT MIND ITS LONG
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mithliya · 2 years ago
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i feel so bad for you with the callouts about you faking being a lesbian bc of posts you made when you were a young teen
i just found writing from when iw was 12 of me pretending to like men and it hurts so much and its so fucking stupid it was kind of like your old posts at least it was completely private
the way it was written was like me trying to force myself to feel those ways and i even remember researching like most attractive man ever to try and find a guy to act like i was attracted to all while looking at them and feeling nothing at all... and id search for like hours trying to find a boy that i felt anyting for to pretend to wajt as a boyfriend.... i never even found one! my friend told me maybe i was 'aesthetically gay'when i was like "soo im totally straight but i do not find any men attractive at all"
i just have no idea how i didnt realize earlier i wasnt attracted to men with all that bfjdmfjd
i feel u 😭 the wildest part is that post was made to paint a certain image. there’s no emphasis on the posts being primarily from 2013-2014. nothing highlighting the fact that i was literally like 14-16 in ALL of the posts (and that the person who was calling me out is calling 15 year old me a whore / slut for what r obviously jokes. if i as a 15 year old managed to have sex 500 times with 420 men while in an long distance “relationship”… wouldn’t that be indicative of something rly insidious? like they’re obviously not legitimate numbers & were me exaggerating ridiculously bc i didn’t want to answer such questions. i didn’t know if my rapist / rape counted. i was dissociated through a lot of it). the wildest part is she intentionally ignored all the posts highlighting what ive been saying: i was literally on substances a lot of the time when in that guy’s vicinity. i considered him a friend and didn’t want a relationship but then gave in after he kept insisting we were together & facing other pressure and he was giving me substances to get my guard down & be able to do things to me. i even made posts back then saying “idk if i like guys at all or if im into girls or if i like anyone” and talking about how i don’t understand attraction and don’t feel love. i talked about the guy making me cry all the time (& would then downplay it and act like i cry over everything) and there’s hints that i was attempting suicide and on sedatives the day our “relationship” started (which was the day he decided we were in a relationship. i repeatedly said i don’t want it) and drunk + had repeatedly tried to kill myself the day i lost my virginity (if that even counts. maybe the time i was raped is when i lost it? who knows.). and when asked why i won’t leave or when id defend him it’s almost always “he’s the only person who’s there for me” “im scared”… never “i love him” or “im attracted to him” or anything of the sort. i was baffled going thru the blog bc i didn’t realise there were so many hints that it was unwanted. etc etc etc. no wonder when i finally ended it and refused to back down (had to do it repeatedly for like 6 months) he immediately said “is it bc you’re a lesbian?” 😐.
also yeah sadly the only diff between me and the Real Lesbians trying to argue im lying about my sexuality is that their closeted shenanigans isnt available for everyone to look at and analyse and pick apart. their trauma isn’t there on display for people to call them liars and partake in abuse apologism with. but this whole thing has only confirmed to me that my truth remains my truth & my story. it was pretty upsetting seeing how i was somehow so aware of my lack of attraction to men but so in denial of it at the same time. and it made me realise that that whole portion of my life might’ve been even worse than i remembered. i remember the suicide attempts but i didn’t realise how often i was out of it.
ALSO anon that’s such a mood. i did a lot of the same stuff 💀
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rotisseries · 1 year ago
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the pack plus theo and quinn and jiang and tierney are about to go outside. scott asks lydia if shes ready, she nods. scott turns around and malia flashes her fangs, liam flicks out his claws and then everyone turns to theo whos like 😑 and puts his claws up petty asf . but then stilinski stops them and says "nobodys going anywhere" and lydia is like "i can get through them" and he ssays "we're not gonna fire the first shot. now get back from the door. all of you." and tells parrish to get jiang and tierney back to their cell. scott asked stilinski what happened with monroe. "she gave us til midnight" she wants them, dead or alive, she wants them brought to her band of rebels. anyway everyone helps barricate the doors . monroe is also jamming cell phones and the radio . and its clear that the person who was recruits by monroe is in the station bc ... who else would ahve access to something that can jam a law enforcement transmitter. anyway then the power goes out and someone asks "how easy is it to cut off the power to a police station?" and one of the deputies says "too easy" and shoves nolan into the center of the room. and liam immediately says "Throw him out." and nolan is like "no-no you cant . okay please dont. she'll know i screwed up." and liam says "hes with them." and scott gives him a warning little "Liam.." then liam says "hes a liar and hes sick in the head." and scott is so fucking concerned he doesnt ask right awsy but he looks at liam and nolan ans hes like . what the hell is making him so angry? anyway then sheriff throws nolan in the lock up. turns out nolan and jiang knew each other. idrc ab that. i feel bad for nolan to an extent but like bro. you are highly susceptible to peer pressure and you have anxiety in your eyes. go to therapy and dont beat up your classmates i feel as if that is simple. anyway. for some reasom it cuts to theo dragging liam into the bathroom....? i never understood the point of this scene. have they been talking before this? did theo notice his mood change when nolan came around? things we'll never know. anyway convo goes like 
theo: monroe's not gonna stop. nothing we say is gonna make them get in their cars and drive away. those two losers killed hunters. 
liam: who killed their pack
theo: so what? i mean, monroe's gonna tear through anything standing between her and them. that means you, lydia, malia, and scott. You gonna watch your friends die? 
liam: are you gonna watch hunters murder them? jiang and tierney werent the only ones that were apart of satomi's pack
theo: yeah...right....the hit and run. sorry if im not losing sleep over some random roadkill!
liam: THEY WERE MURDERED. BRETT AND LORI. THEY DIDNT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS. 
theo: so what you think saving those two is gonna make everything feel better? (scoffs) your dead friends are dead. and theyre gonna STAY DEAD no matter WHAT you d- 
and then liam punches the fuck out of him. literallt mean i heard something break he dropppppeddd to the fllooorrr. literally caught the wall and started sliding down it until he was on the floor lying down. effectivelt shutted him the fuck up.  and then liam steps over him and says "by the way im still working on my anger." and theo raises a hand as liam walks out the bathroom and says "good to know." <-hoarse and raspy. 
hope u know during the whollleee fight they were getting closer n closer to each other so like they literally went into the bathroom for a quickie argument to release the tension ig. now that i think about it theo probably dragged him in there bc hes the only one he trusts to talk to besides the fact liam gets so worked up around him sometimes. funny how he talks about not losing sleep over brett n lori but hes for sure losing sleep . my bad
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midnighteloquence · 6 months ago
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lets rant about a person im starting to not like and lost of reasons why i dont
right uhh i need labels to get started
friend a: (hey pookie) FAV PERSONNNN!! ^^ i love them so much theyre so so cool and amazing and ahh best friend love ya
friend b: my first friend in this school!! i love her so much shes so so swag even if i dont tell her often how much she means to me shes sooo amazing
friend c: subject of this rant, we used to be rlly close but recently i stopped liking them as much
idk if theres anyone else im mentioning so thats gonna be it
okay so to start off (what i started off with anyways when i first ranted about this in the shower) is the fact that recently theyve been sending me tiktoks about really sexual things saying that its me and them. i know it is technically my fault for not being super clear on my boundaries and not saying whether somethings bothering me or not, but i just get so uncomfortable when you keep talking about about how you cum to me. i know that i make alot of sexual jokes with friend b, and for a while i didnt get why i was so uncomfortable with C making jokes about me, until i realised that its because with B i like them but with C i dont like them as much making me more uncomfortable towards them.
another reason is the fact that they lie, like all the time. even when it isn’t necessary. theyve said themselves that theyre a pathological liar, and that they have bpd, adhd, and depression and anxiety. which is why i never talk about any of my problems involving them. but literally i dont fucking get how they think im gonna believe them then 1st, none of them add up and 2nd, you lie to me when you know i know the truth?? like at some point i heard you talking shit about A, and when i bring it up you lie to me?? its just ugh. youve lied to my face so much i always ALWAYS think youre lying. you could be blatantly telling the truth but ill still think youre lying.
another mini thing is that you expect me to know so much about your past and your mental illness but you dont clarify anything about them?? like youve said “i cant do that and you know it.” but i seriously dont?? you havent told me anything about your bpd or how it effects you but you assume i know everything about it?? i cant just guess things im sorry
a really main thing is the fact that they keep insulting me (and many many MANYYYY others) on tons of things, more specifically about our insecurities. at some point, they kept on insulting my friend’s boyfriend’s face to the point they had to FUCKING COVER IT. AND THEY STILL CONTINUED?? and when mentioned that theyre a dick they say “oh i just dont know how to act nice”. LITERALLY. IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY THEN STAY SILENT. actually you dont know how many new insecurities i have formed because of you. and ik i can speak for everyone you keep insulting “as a joke”.
another thing!! they are super contradictory and hypocritical. at some point they said something along the lines of “i know that you cant show affection very easily but still i think a little bit would be nice”. you admit yourself that you know i cant show affection that easy but then you still ask for it?? im fine with affection every now and again but you want me to always show affection. i cant be that fulfilling person for you and you know that but you still ask for it. plus; you have a partner yourself (oh also they keep telling different stories that dont add up like “i got to cuddle with my boyfriend” then say “hes gonna come over so i can see him irl for the first time!!”).
another note on the “fulfilling” part, i find myself almost always having to either convince you that i actually care for you or having to convince yourself not to kill yourself. its fucking exhausting. i have to repeat myself over and over and over and over and over again that i like you but you still say “yeah but bfr you dont”. i shouldnt have to do this constantly im tired of it. you are mentally ill, these are things you talk about to a fucking THERAPIST, not a 13 year old girl whos struggling herself.
TALKING ABOUT THE HYPOCRISY. right so they continuously say about how im not putting much effort into our friendship. but them themselves arent putting any effort into me. you talk about how if im distant you think i hate you, but when have you ever expressed actual interest in the things im saying? friendship goes both ways, not only do I have to make effort in getting closer to you, YOU have to make effort in getting closer to me.
literally you talk about how im never really interested in your interests, but i actually engage, i ask questions, i remember things. but you? all you do is answer with an uninterested “cool”. i know that youre struggling tho which is once again why i dont bring it up. literally you say im your favourite person, but when someone even dares tells you to talk to me you say “what is there to talk about? [my interest]?”
about your mental health, it is the primary reason why i dont bring anything up. because i know that youre suffering and i know that you’d say that thats the reason youre like that. but its so frustrating to have to continue to be your friend just because i know that if i leaved you’d do something drastic. im so exhausted and mentally drained because of this friendship.
you know yourself that i am struggling, you were at some point worried i was gonna kill myself. but you still continue to have to have me convince you that i dont want you to kys. “you’ll live” say that again to me istg.
alot of things ive already talked about on this account and my incognito account @imnooneyouknow so if you wanna know more check that out in the link below!! like and subscribe for more epic content!!
(bye)
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tears-of-boredom · 1 year ago
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ok finished life is strange true colors. probably gonna be spoilers in this. so, i dont know if its because i was expecting to not like the ending, but i didnt like it. ended up really angry at the ending. tbh the whole vibe of the story was weird. my vibes didnt match its vibes. reminds me a lot of tell me why in a sense. with the siblings being reunited after both were separated when young and so the foster care system fucked them up even worse. and they can only begin to heal once they get out of it. and they investigate a family member's death. and the character models never seem to actually be touching anything around them. kind of like trying to get your barbie to hold something that didnt have that small finger ring. but the difference is that i like tell me why. maybe its just because the emotions matched mine more. idk. i wish we got to meet izzy. oh and yeah im not gonna even do the bisexual thing.
idk just left me angry and feeling shitty. but ig something happened outside of the game at the same time so that might contribute to my mood too. but man. i didnt even get to cry. and no one even went after someone in a fit of unbridled rage.... i mean,, of their own choosing you know? i wanted alex to walk into the black horse and just charge jed with a knife. and it is so fucking annoying because everytime i saw jed, i was thinking about how happy i am that for once the old man who the community trusts didnt do some horrible shit. like oh my god, i wasnt even fucking surprised when he pulled the gun, i was just so disappointed. i fucking hate that trope. so much. let old people be fucking good people for once, who arent trying to hide their past at all costs. like oh my god, let a main character actually get a father figure into their lives without them being a liar and a coward. and sorry but why the fuck did the game even give you an option on whether or not to forgive him?? like, yeah i could've fucking forgave him for being a bit too proud and making a horrible mistake because of that, but who the fuck fucking is forgiving him for all the shit he did to keep the secret. he didnt intentionally kill those miners, but by creating this lie about being a hero, and putting everything on keeping it up, he killed someone. and to be honest, i would not be surprised if there were more. and why the fuck did they make alex see herself in him? whatever her "gift" canonically is, she did not choose it. the monster she is ashamed of was something she did not choose. but jed made a decision. he hates himself because of a choice he made. neither of those things are less real or,, anything. they are just different. pretty fundamentally. hating yourself for something you cant change, and hating yourself over something you can change. oh my god i hated the ending. and hated how unlike me alex was. despite there being so many similarities between us. that flashback about the guitar, when shes imagining gabe and her at the orphanage. it hit me quite hard. i wonder how many kids have thought that. because i sure have. i wasnt even there for that long. but everynight, when i wasn't allowed to do anything but lay in my bed,, i think i thought "they cannot be so stupid to do this to me with sincere intentions." but,, i wasnt stupid myself. i knew that they were genuinely trying to help with all the restrictions. so eventually i concluded that they're stupid as fuck and know nothing. but they think they know better. the worst fucking combination ever. impossible to argue against people like that. usually they are like cops too. if you make them question the rules, they just fall back on "well thats still how it is (and there's no changing that)". adults love to obey authority and not question anything. and i would understand that if it was just a choice for an individual, but they affect a lot of other people by being like this. young people. but thats just how it is right. adults fuck up kids because they dont want to challenge anything, and then those kids grow up to be afraid of challenges too.
im really tired. i cant really tell if im even making sense. im gonna shut of my pc now.
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babieken · 2 years ago
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Your description of the majority of men reactors 💀 Oh yes, catling benson is one of those I enjoy as well! I wasn't sure if you were referring to them because I still haven't watched their last video, but I had the feeling something was going on. I'm glad she's being transparent about how she feels.
I think reactors often happen to have particularly excited or dramatic reactions and get/feel pressured to have the same reaction to everything they watch, also to avoid toxic fans comments... I'm sorry (not sorry) but I blame young new kpop fans for this, especially those coming from twitter, where these reactors seem to find most (if not all) rude (or worse) comments. Of course not all of them are like this, I know and see so many that are not, they are respectful and behave in a more human and chill way, but there's a big portion that does, sadly.
Anyway. I'm all for reacting to a limited number of groups, if I were ever to do such thing, I would react to my favorites and occasionally others. However, I also realize that for many this is or becomes a job, and so the wider the public the better... About authenticity, for me it's quite fundamental otherwise I just feel like I'm wasting my time...
My fav reactors are (apart from the two i've already mentioned), the safe cave (they're also been pretty transparent with subscribers over time, took breaks when needed and made clear how and what they react to, definitely my number 1) and Lktv (he does bang his head lmao but I enjoy his reactions, he does comment a lot most of the time.)
Recently I saw a few reactions from millennial men and katriinka, a vocal coach. They seem good, at least from what I saw. I knew i forgot something 🤡 choreography! Idk why is so hard to find good dancers reactions... there's jeff avenue, there was a time he used to explain even more stuff and it was 👌👌👌 Musa is too much for me 💀 too much... I also find it exaggerated, also because it's like a standard for him to react that way. And when there's an important message behind he doesn't seem to catch it? I haven't watched all his videos, but some made me mad lol so I was like, "okay, enough, thank u next".
Exactly! Like it’s to be expected for someone who’s reacting to kpop for the first time to be blown away by pretty much everything bc kpop is just on a different level than western music videos, but after a while it becomes the norm and u have to start being real… otherwise whats the point?
Yeah i also think that toxic stans are a huge part of the problem but i think its time for ppl to stop tiptoeing around and trying to fit their content into a mold just to avoid toxic stans bc all that does is give them more power. (Obv its easy for me to sit here and say this but idk i feel like we need to just do our own thing until these toxic stans learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them and their faves)
Oooh ive seen kaia’s vids on search but i dont think ive ever checked any of them out! I’ll definitely give them a shot! And I actually watched lktv’s reaction to beautiful liar and as far as enthusiasm goes they were pretty decent but one thing that kind of gave me the ick was the random korean words they threw around (and the korean greeting) idk it just gave me koreaboo vibes kdkdkdk
I remember there was this one vocal coach reacts who had really long hair and he was pretty real. Like he clearly wasnt doing it to appease kpopies. Their main reaction content wasnt even kpop but i havent seen them around (tho i didnt look them up either) in ages. Yeah… im sorry jeff avenue’s reactions are boring too.
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