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mila-uchiha · 3 months ago

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Best Friend's Older Brother ⁺◦ Itachi x fem!reader

a/n: hey guys... not sure if any of you even remember my blog but its been 2/3 years since i've written lol. new life new errything but my new bf is giving me so much inspo for smut it's insane (he's so hot) and so here we go... enjoy! this prompt tickled something in my brain xxx (also this is set in a modern au w no uchiha massacre where reader wants sasuke's older brother itachi and winds up in his bed,,, just read it [3 years in the making] lol trust its GOOD)

warnings: NSFW, don't feel to write the rest in lmao i haven't done this inna while but hella smut just sayin

word count: 5.6k (wtf?? ok i went overboard here and did not realise but i hope u enjoy LMAO)

You knew it was wrong. You knew there would be conversation, after conversation once you two were done with this. You knew everything would change. But you had wanted it more than you had ever wanted anything before.

A few days prior, your best friend Sasuke had let you and your friend group (if you can even call them friends) know about a "small birthday get together"- in his words- at his house that weekend. You wanted to be excited. You wanted to enjoy yourself. But there were multiple reasons why you felt like you wouldn't; the first being the shitty group of friends that you two shared. They weren't the nicest people nor did they take interest in you and you somehow always felt like an outsider when around them. It was only when you and Sasuke hung out alone did you really enjoy someone else's company. Unfortunately being friends with him meant being around these guys a lot, and that included this weekend for his birthday.

The second reason involved something more complicated: Itachi Uchiha, Sasuke's brother. You were- let's not use the word obsessed...- maybe a bit infatuated with him. It may seem like a good thing, to spend a night at the house where your crush lived, but seeing him hurt a little bit more inside every time, and I'll explain why.

Sasuke hadn't been your best friend since you two were kids- it had only been a few years since you met, and yet still, a few years was enough to develop the most enormous crush on his older brother- and of course Sasuke knew nothing. It started off very innocently, you knew nothing would ever happen, you knew he'd never want someone as young as you, and you simply found comfort and entertainment in keeping it to yourself- a silent crush... That was until last year.

You were different now. More mature. Emotionally and physically. You knew that you were capable of being with someone his age and you felt yourself growing older by the day, your interests expanding and your emotions as well. You talked more than usual at the dinner table with Sasuke's family about "intelligent" topics (or what you thought classified as intelligent). You tried to make your presence more known. You tried speaking to Itachi (occasionally) and yet every thing you did was met with a response that contained no more than a few words. And there was certainly never any reciprocation of question given to him that was directed back to you. Not only was he blunt, he was cold too, his voice lingering with iciness and a twang of unkindness, snarky comments occasionally slipping out.

Ultimately, it was useless, and that uselessness turned into pain. You didn't want to see him this weekend. It simply reminded you of what you wanted so badly, yet could never have and it had been three weeks since you had been to Sasuke's house, your feeling of isolation growing more and more. Until this weekend.

You walked up to Sasuke's house, hoping you could quickly sneak up to his room and wait for the rest of his friends to get there, but of course it was never that easy. This may sound like a cliche and joke, but it wasn't Sasuke's mom or dad that answered the door, it was Itachi, and when that door swung open and his brows furrowed upon inspection of who was at the door, you couldn't help but gulp and think this was all a mistake. You felt your heart sink and that horrible familiar feeling fill your chest again. You knew this would be a long night.

You both said your greetings (although his full of much less words than yours) and you stepped inside the house, faintly smelling his fragant smell- the best thing you had ever smelt in your life, although you didn't want to admit that in the moment.

It was awkward. He was cold, and weird and god you just wanted him so bad but of course once again you were left standing there uncomfortably. "Cmon y/n, think! Say something!", you thought to yourself and urged the confidence you had gained in the past year to enter once again as he shut the front door.

"So how's college? I haven't seen you in a few weeks." Finally, some words coming from you. He paused briefly, before answering, "It's fine, I thought you were here last week?"

Ouch. Clearly any attempt you had made to be noticed went unnoticed.

Before coming here, you knew he never paid attention to you (and when he did it wasn't very pleasant) so you thought there was no harm in specifically wearing something a bit "older", a bit more slutty. Your tits were highlighted and pushed up in this sleek, black, partially see-through lace top with a matching laced mini skirt alongside your knee high black boots. Your brown curls were left out and flowing, accompanied by a white headband that framed your face beautifully. You knew most guys your age would drool at the sight of you, but this wasn't most guys your age.

"Sasuke's upstairs", Itachi said roughly. "Yeah I know, I just-" You paused. You could see his eyes scanning your outfit, your body, up and down, his brows slowly furrowing at the sight. This is it! He's finally seeing me in a different light, you naively thought. That was until he opened his mouth.

"Why do you look like you're dressed for halloween?", he asked, a sense of judgment coming from his tone. You looked at him, confused, hurt. "Your outfit. You do realize you look like a nun right?". OH. fuck.

The stupid white headband you threw on with the all-black outfit made you slightly look like a nun, one that was standing there stupidly, looking- not only overdressed- but dressed for an occasion that was not tonight.

"Oh haha, I guess you're right. I do actually look like a nun..." You said quietly, your eyes trying to analyze his facial expression and read his thoughts.

"Yeah a slutty one- and not the good kind," and with that remark he scoffed, walking away as if he was bored with the conversation already.

A sluttly one. And not the good kind. You tried to walk up the stairs and head up to Sasuke's room but those words were repeating themselves in your head. As you opened the door and found Sasuke and two other friends sitting on his bed they all looked at you strangely. "Why are you dressed like that?". It was not going to be a good night.

The next few hours were filled with strange looks from the eyes of those dressed a bit more casually, weirdly sensual looks from some of his friends and mostly a lot of alcohol. You all were still in school but Sasuke's parents weren't exactly the strict type. Yours were however, and you had only ever been drunk once before this night- specifically for Sasuke's birthday last year. He was definitely not the best influence.

The drinking games and the shots were getting to be a bit too much for you as you felt yourself entering a state entitled "The most drunk I have even been.... why do I want more alcohol?". As teenagers do, a variety of games were played such as spin the bottle which involved you having to make out with some gross guy in the friend group and ultimately, strip poker- without the poker. You didn't manage much, however your top did come off, leaving your in your sleek black bra completely on display. You didn't really care though, as everyone else was half naked and now at least you could blend in a bit better without your raunchy, lacy top on.

Despite all the distractions happening in these two hours, you couldn't help but be hurt by everything that transpired downstairs upon your arrival. His tone, his words, I mean he practically laughed at you. You felt your heart sink the more you thought about it and as you found yourself getting more quiet and more drunk, you decided what better to do than head downstairs and give him a piece of your mind.

You had had it. The year of him making you feel like this. Like a younger brother's friend (which, yes, you were but come on, he didn't have to show it). The year of the rudeness and the way he ignored you in the times where you wished he didn't. You were about to head downstairs and tell him exactly how horrible he was. Except you didn't realize that you were in your bra.

As you reached the bottom step, you looked up to see Itachi walking towards the front door, heading past the steps with a few of his friends slowly following behind. "ITACH-", you couldn't even finish your sentence.

"Y/n what the hell are you doing? Why the fuck are you down here in your bra?" He grabbed your wrist tightly. "I'M COMing down HERe to tell you-", again no sentences finished. He spun you around and led you back up the stairs, his hands on either side of your lower back while he pushed and walked behind you. You only managed to produce thoughts for a second and in that second you almost seemed to sober up, his broad hands on your bare skin, the warmth and the feeling that filled you. It was short lived, though, the minute he removed them and guided you to his room. "What the fuck are you doing? My friends are downstairs and you're coming down in your bra?"

You entered his room, his smell evidently everywhere as you looked around at the familiar four walls. You had been there before when snooping around with Sasuke a few years ago, but of course Itachi didn't know that.

"So what? It's not that big of a deal", you slurred your words as he rummaged through his closet, as if he was in a rush. "Here" he tossed you a shirt. One of his shirts. "Put this on," he said as he looked at you with a slightly disgusted expression on his face.

"Why do I have to do anything you say? This is the most emotion you've ever showed me!" You shouted as he stood waiting for you to comply. He didn't respond.

"You know what, fine!" You reached for the waistline of your skirt. "I'm older now and if I want to walk around in my underwear I fucking can!" You started tugging your skirt down, partially revealing the lacy black underwear underneath but before you could fully drop your skirt to the floor, Itachi grabbed your wrists with both of his hands tightly.

"Y/n are you fucking serious? Don't fucking do that in my room or you wont be welcome in this house again." He said roughly in your ear. Ouch. His words were serious. His hands harshly let go your wrists as he added, "Put the shirt on and get the fuck out of my room please." He headed to the door and before he could open it you shouted back, "Where are you going?". He turned and looked back, the familiar icy blank stare facing you again. "To a party", and the door slammed shut.

The next few hours were filled with even more alcohol, to add to your already debilitated state. Sasuke and his friend's looked at you weirdly for wearing what was evidently Itachi's shirt, but nobody really questioned anything when you kept taking more shots of vodka, attempting to forget the embarrassment of a few hours ago.

As time went on, your enjoyment went down and so did your state of coherency. You could not shake the events of tonight, yet one thing you couldn't understand was why Itachi was so worried about you being downstairs in your bra in front of his friends? Surely that had nothing to do with him? Maybe he was embarrassed that one of his younger brother's friends was making an embarrassment of the family? Either way, whatever triggered his reaction surely wasn't prideful on your behalf.

It was now 1 am and you felt yourself slipping, unable to soberly process and function. You kept quiet for a bit, knowing Sasuke's friends wouldn't have cared if you were there or not and eventually decided it was time to get up and go find somewhere to sleep, possibly the couch. As you stumbled to open the door and nearly tripped on your way there, Sasuke knew you were completely out of your mind drunk and decided to help you walk, a concerned expression on his face.

"Are you alright, y/n? Do you feel to throw up?" You shook your head. No way were you doing that tonight. You knew you just needed to sleep. "Sleep- I just need to sleep."

"Okay, well you were going to sleep on my bed and I'd sleep in Itachi's room but I don't think these guys are leaving soon," He gestured to the open door in the hallway that lead to his room, a blur and haze of noise escaping it. "Ughhhh close the door, too loud!" you slurred and demanded. He laughed.

"Maybe you can just sleep in Itachi's room?" Your eyes suddenly opened wide. "Itachi??? No... No thank you I'll sleep on the floor." You suddenly plopped your drunken self on the floor of Sasuke's hallway. He laughed once more. "No, y/n, its fine. He's out at a party tonight and I doubt he'll be back- will probably spend the night by some girl as he usually does after parties."

Sigh. Probably spending the night by some girl huh?

You complied, finally, and managed to stumble into Itachi's room once more, still wearing his T-shirt and inhaling the scent of him that bounced off the walls. Before climbing into bed, you managed to at last take off the itchy, lace skirt and drop it to the ground alongside your bra and your underwear, remaining in nothing but Itachi's shirt. It may seem a bit strange, but this is how you slept. 'Fully breathable' you called it.

It didn't take long before you were under his duvet, wrapped up in his scent and warmth, and drifted off to sleep while the room slowly spinned.

By this point you were fast asleep. Hours and hours passed as you framed peaceful dreams in your head of god knows what- something you'd wake up to in the morning and forget. That was until the scent of Itachi filled your breath. Every inhale that was taken just fueled the desire in your crotch that kept building and building until you- fully asleep- started humping his bed. What you didn't realize in this moment was that the scent wasn't coming from his bed- it was coming from him. Right next to you.

In the few hours you slept, it was peaceful and quiet. Sasuke's friends left one by one and that led everyone in the house to eventually fall asleep. That was until a few minutes ago, when a partially drunk Itachi came staggering up the stairs into his own room, unaware you were in his bed. He didn't bother to turn on the lights, he was exhausted and just craving sleep and upon stripping into nothing but his boxers, he managed to crawl into his side of the bed.

It wasn't until he jumped into bed, unable to wake up in your passed out state, that he realized you were there. Fast asleep. Humping the mattress. Minutes of contemplation from him passed by but nothing could prepare you for what you saw when you awoke.

As your eyes slowly opened, your underwear fully soaked from the dream you had, Itachi's smell was stronger- it was more than just his bed. You adjusted your eyes and in your half-asleep state managed to latch on to the shadowy figure next to you: Itachi- with his hand in his boxers gently stroking himself up and down, whimpering ever so softly.

What. the. fuck. was going on. You didn't move a muscle- frozen in your position on your stomach as you tried to make sense of the situation. His hand was in his pants. His hand was stroking his dick! Surely this made no sense? Your thoughts ran rampant, trying to come to an explanation for this situation as you tried to understand that the only logical one was that he didn't you know were in his bed. Surely that was it right? He must've come back from this party, unsuccessful with whatever girl he was pursuing, and instead of winding up in her bed, he came back home to touch himself to the thought of her. That had to be it right?

Suddenly your hips started grinding again- the same as they were doing in your sleep. You simply couldn't help yourself. Despite being unable to actually see Itachi's dick, the blurry visual of his hand in his pants gently touching himself alongside the soft noises that escaped from his lips were enough to make you accidentally let out a moan as you grinded on his bed.

Now, you both were frozen from his realization that you were actually awake after the noise you made.

His hand quickly left his boxers, at the most rapid speed possible and he instantly sat up, his shadowed head facing you in the dark with his eyes slightly squinting.

"Y/n?" He called out with a hint of disgust in his voice. Great. You knew it. You knew he didn't realize you were in his bed and was definitely touching himself to some girl. You had the full view (besides his dick) and you ruined it by letting that moan escape your mouth.

This caused you to sit up as well. "Ita-chi?" you called out, the near- pitch black light of his room not helping. No response.

You hand patted his bed, trying to reach for his arm until you found it and latched onto it, your eyes both meeting in the darkness.

"Itachi? What are you doing?" you asked calmly.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" He replied. "Why the fuck are you in my bed?".... You didn't know what to say.

"I- I don't know.... Sasuke told me that you wouldn't be here tonight and I needed somewhere to fall asleep before everyone left. I was really drunk... I still am, I'm so sorry- please believe me I'll leave now I didn't mean to intrude on a private time of yours," you rambled on an on and started to make your way out of his bed, away from the mess that this was. Until he grabbed your arm. With the same hand that was touching his dick.

"Wait, y/n, it's ok.... You don't have to go." Your eyebrows furrowed as you turned towards him again, the darkness still making it hard to see his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Well.. Sasuke's in his bed so you can't sleep there, and I'm not making you go on the couch downstairs. It's alright. You can spend the night in here, I don't mind."

You slowly crept back under his duvet, keeping a large distance between the two of you as you both sat there in silence. What the fuck was going on? Time passed and what felt like hours was only around one minute of straight silence. You were both trying to figure out what happened and it was sufficiently awkward at this point.

"I'm sorry I was in here while you uh... were.. ya know.. touching yourself. Sasuke told me you might've spent the night by a girl and I assume that you didn't, and needed some alone time to um... 'think of her'. I just didn't realize you came back," you tried to explain, your face showing clear embarrassment if only he could see it in the darkness.

Awkward silence filled the room for a few seconds. "Is that why you were grinding on my bed?" Itachi calmly asked. Fuck. He knows? So why was he touching himself while you were doing that?

"Ok fine. It's incredibly embarrassing but I was having a.. wet dream.. and you just happened to witness it. Nothing more to it."

"Is that why your eyes were open staring at me touching myself?".... Oh fuck. This was really bad. This was a very bad situati- wait.

"How did you know my eyes were open? You could see them?" You asked confusingly.

He didn't reply. You heard a scoff as he reached over to turn on his bedside lamp, a sensory input that distracted you from the horrible awkwardness of the conversation. Now the lights were on. There was no hiding anything. And both of you needed to explain.

"What were you dreaming about?" He asked. Unfortunately for him you were too distracted by the way he looked in the dim light to answer: shirtless, duvet sitting just below his boxers. Enough to see the hard bulge he still had, despite the uncomfortable situation.

"What were you touching yourself to?" You replied.

He paused. "No, y/n, I'm asking you. What were you dreaming about?"

Your eyes darted between his face and his bulge, evidently showing him that you could see it, yet for some reason, he didn't care. He left it on display, and god, were you taking it in. All of it. Sneakily hiding behind his black Calvin Klein boxers.

"Wait. Before I answer that, lemme just get this straight. So we were both practically pleasuring ourselves... in the same room.. in the same bed... while we both knew the other person was doing it?" You questioned. He had to provide answers at this point.

"Yeah." He replied.

That was it. A simple 'yeah'. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Oh come on Itachi, what is going on?"

"First, you'll answer what you were dreaming about."

"Oh my god, for fuck's sake! It was you! Obviously it was you!" you raised your voice, hoping no one else in the house could hear.

And just as the thought managed to process itself in his brain, you could see his dick twitch underneath his boxers. You both froze as seconds passed.

"What... were you touching yourself to..?" You managed to force the question out again despite your shyness at this moment.

"YOU, y/n. You in my shirt, in your fucking drunken, half asleep state, grinding your hips on my bed. That was until you fucking woke up without telling me."

"What?? Me??" You replied.

"God, of course I was. You showed up to my house looking... well.. the way you did. I couldn't stop thinking about it while I was out."

"So it was because of my outfit you got turned on?"

He scoffed. "Y/n, do you really think I haven't noticed you haven't been here for like three weeks?" Every sentence that was said he inched closer and closer to you. "You see this?" He looked down to his bulge. You were speechless. "Nobody's touched it in weeks. Except me. And anytime I have, I've been thinking about you, your face, your..." He paused.

"My what?" You asked, pressing him to answer.

He scooted back, realizing how close he was to you in the bed and all of a sudden looked like he had regretted those words. The entire energy shifted in the room and he abruptly went back to the very cold man he always was to you.

"Maybe you should actually sleep on the couch," he insisted.

Wow. One moment your wildest dream was coming true: his feelings were reciprocated. And then suddenly this? Was he regretting it?

"Itachi-"

"No, you should leave."

A sharp pain filled your chest and you felt hurt, beyond anything you'd felt before. You were slowly getting up to leave, disgusted by everything he exuded, but you knew he felt the same, and this was the one chance you had to fully prove it.

You turned back at him, his face turned away from you, not once grazing your skin. "Itachi, are you serious? Is that actually how you feel?" You inched closer to him. Soon, you were no more than a centimeter away, as you lifted your arm, ready to do something bold. While he still faced forward instead of looking at you, your arm trickled down to his boxers, finally managing to find his throbbing dick and hold it tightly.

You weren't very successful though, because in an instant, he grabbed the wrist of your arm, lifted it off his dick and used his other hand to grab you by the jaw. Now, you two were inches away from each other's face, your breaths mixing in the space between your lips while your eyes remained locked. Itachi spoke low, roughly;

"Y/n, do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"No, but we can deal with the stress of this situation after. I know what I want. I promise."

He paused as his eyes scanned between your lips and your eyes. "I don't mean that."

"Then what do you mean?"

"You can't handle this. It's too much for you." His lock on your wrist tightened.

"I. know. what. I. want."

And with that, both of your heads came crashing together as your lips met, a rough harsh kiss at first, that slowly turned into a slow sensual one as your tongues found each other.

You felt his hands wrap around you while you were still in his shirt as he found himself on top of you, his throbbing bulge meeting your bare pussy with no underwear. You both grinded against each other, giving you a feeling you had never felt before, until he realized you weren't wearing any underwear.

He paused, moved back slightly and stared at your opening fully bare while your legs were spread. He acted like he'd never seen one before with a girl.

"Fuck," he whispered under his breath. "Take the shirt off. Now."

And you did as you were told, leaving your bare tits in his sight as he continued to stare. He stared even more, then leant in, without touching, and whispered in your ear.

"Before I touch any part of you- and fuck I want to so badly- I need you to give me head, naked and pretty like this....... But I need to know that you can handle this, y/n. It's going to be a lot."

Your eyes met each other's as you nodded your head, willing to give him anything. And with that, he stepped off the bed and pulled his boxers down, finally revealing what he had underneath.

His thin, long dick with the prettiest, pink tip sprung out as he gestured you towards him.

"On your knees. Now."

And so you listened.

You dropped your knees to the floor and inched towards his dick, realizing that you had fantasized about it in the past. But what Itachi didn't know is that you had never given head before.

Your mouth opened wide as you let him insert it himself, a small groan escaping his lips once he felt it against your tongue.

You didn't know what to do. You knew that. But before you could attempt to make him feel good, he spoke,

"I'm going to throat fuck you okay?" And you have to take it." You nodded, and let him do what he wanted to you.

It started off slow. A gentle pace as he became more vocal, almost near moaning. But as his pace picked up, you didn't know if you could take it. He began thrusting in an out of your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat while his hands held your head, and as that happened you couldn't stop yourself from gagging.

"God your mouth feels so good on my cock."

By this point he was practically pounding into your throat, a sensation you had never experienced as tears fled down your cheek. Your eyes closed for a second, trying to catch yourself and let your throat relax, but as you opened your eyes and looked up at him, the tears from gagging turned into real tears. It was too much for you. And he could tell.

He stopped, slowly, but finally came to a stand still as tears still streamed down your eyes. "Y/n, are you okay?" You sat there on your knees in silence, embarrassed that you knew you couldn't handle it.

"Hey, hey, shh, it's okay," he grabbed you from the floor and lifted you up onto his bed as he got under the covers with you. Now you both were fully nude, bodies pressed against each other, but you enjoyed the comfort. It was more than just sexual.

"I'm sorry," you tried to speak amidst the tears, "I've just.... I don't know,"

"What is it? Tell me?"

"It's just that.... I... I have never given head.. And you expect so much.. I don't know what I thought. I knew I couldn't keep up with girls your age. This whole situation is just so much for me."

"Hey, shh, it's okay. Y/n it's okay. We don't have to do anything."

"But I want to," you replied amidst tears.

Itachi sighed. "It's okay. It's my fault for being so rough. I'll take care of you baby, let me show you how I've always wanted to fuck you."

Baby. He called you baby. And with that you agreed, nodding your head and leaning in to kiss him again.

This time it was sensual, your tongues licking each other as his lips trickled down to your neck, finally reaching your tits. He played with them for a bit, gently sucking and squeezing your nipples to force moans from you, until his lips trailed even further down, finally able to make you feel good.

"Such a pretty cunt," he pressed a kiss right on your clit, making your legs buckle. As his tongue flicked your clit in ways you could never imagine, you found yourself moaning very audibly; a sound you thought Itachi would never hear from you. He led you close to your release and sped up even faster, until finally stopping, leaving you upset that he didn't let you finish.

As his head perked back up, his lips red and flushed, he smirked, finally bringing his dick to your entrance, leaning in to whisper in your ear again.

"This may hurt baby, tell me if it hurts and I can either fuck you through the pain or stop. It's all up to you."

You nodded, unable to audibly form words. You simply couldn't wrap your mind around that fact that Itachi was speaking to you like this- like he wanted you. As he lined his dick up with your opening, he slowly pressed in, making way for his cock as you two watched each other forcefully- no eye contact broken. You both moaned, heavily once it finally managed to reach all the way in and Itachi leant in to kiss you as he started thrusting inside you.

His moans grew as well as his words, "Fuck, what a tight cunt," "Good girl, keeping squeezing around my cock." The pace of his thrusts increased as his thumb suddenly found your clit, rubbing it roughly and nearing you to an orgasm. As you locked eyes with his, you felt yourself coming undone the minute he spoke. "That's it- good girl, yes, yes- just like that let it out- show me how you cum" And as you reached your climax, moaning harder than you ever have before, you found yourself extremely close to Itachi: your lips pressed against his and as your mouth was open in an 'O' shape, he mimicked the same, helping you ride out your orgasm.

Once you finally caught yourself, you felt Itachi's dick start moving again inside you, and as his pace picked up you could tell he was close.

"Baby, I'm going to cum in you okay? Has anyone ever done that before?"

And as quickly as you could reply 'no', he came fully undone, groaning heavily as you felt his white cum seep out into you, almost as if him being the first person to release in you tipped him over the edge.

His body weight rested on you, skin to skin while his dick remained inside you and your breaths matched each other's. You couldn't wrap your mind around the events of tonight and how it lead to this although you'd never complain ever again in your life. From seeing Itachi pissed off at you in your bra (which was evidently because he didn't want anyone else to see you like that), to being rough and dominant, to then fucking you sensually, telling you how beautiful you were, you simply felt like you were dreaming.

"Itachi, please pinch me and tell me this is real," you urged.

"It is real, and it's perfect, but it may not be tomorrow... We may have some explaining to do."

You paused, upset at the fact that this night could not last forever.

"Well let's make it last as long as it can- you can be more rough with me... show me that side of you.. I want to experience it."

Itachi smirked, flipping you over immediately onto your stomach and into an arch with your ass in the air.

"Good, because this ass looked like it needed some smacks." And as you felt his massive palm strike down on your right cheek, leaving an obvious mark, you knew that tonight you were about to experience something sexually that you never had before.

And tomorrow's problem... was tomorrow's problem.

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kedreeva · 11 months ago

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Okay, I haven't wanted to talk much about the peafowl lately, been just kinda dealing with Stan's passing, but! I have news I don't want to keep quiet, so here we go with a little announcement.

I've been helping a friend of mine with a bunch of peafowl genetics work lately, as he's trying to prove out a really neat phenotype of speckled and white peafowl that showed up in his breeding stock, and he just spent tens of thousands of dollars importing two new morphs from Europe: European violet (aka, my dream morph) and Ultramarine (pretty and only otherwise being produced by TWO breeders in the WORLD). When Bill heard about Stan, he asked if I was going to go to a large farm auction that's a few hours from my house. I don't, normally, since it's a few hours from my house and the auctions usually make me kinda sad when it comes to peafowl (they stress out SO MUCH) even though it's cool to see how much they're going for at a wider audience auction.

Then he told me he would be going, and that if I wanted to come down the day before the auction, he'd bring me another male, to replace Stan. I had already made plans to hang onto Bismuth, at least for a few years, and to pick up babies from Indie x Arcana/Eclipse this november, including a male, so I didn't really need another male, and don't have the cash for one anyway. He said no, he meant one of the split EUV males from last year's first-USA breeding. For free. As a thank you for helping him.

To put this into perspective, importing the birds is a ~$10k affair, per bird. I had fully resigned myself to never even SEEING one of these birds in person, much less ever owning one. Even if someone else got them imported, they would remain thousands of dollars for the first few years, and quickly become mixed with other stuff, potentially even be lost by people breeding to purple. He went in on a group import with another breeder and they have both just started selling the full-color birds for over $2k apiece (alongside Ultramarine, which before their import was bred by TWO people in the WORLD, and babies from that are going for almost $7k each, but EUV is more widely spread). Splits (like the one I will be getting) are being let go for $750. This is also the color I have desperately wanted since I first saw them 8-10 years ago (though I believe they've been around slightly longer), but that I had resigned myself to never actually having.

To put it mildly, I'm probably going to burst into tears when I see Bill and this bird. It's going to be super embarrassing. And then I'm going to have to build more pens. And then I'm going to have to get as plain-blue, pure-indian blue hens as I can find, and become one of the most serious curators of plain pure EUV in the US, because I know the other two who have them currently will be outcrossing to other patterns/colors immediately and the people buying them will likely be doing the same, and everyone will be clamoring to make them into high Spaldings ASAP, or won't know not to cross them to purples and wreck the color.

Here's the sire cock, the one imported:

You will notice that this bird is purple in full sun, from the sunny side. That's the main difference between European violet and US purple- a US purple looks blue until you get the right angle on the sun vs the bird vs the camera, and you have to get the bird between you and the sun, so the purple is often in the shadow side- visible to the eye but not the camera. EUV is just purple. Even from the sunny side!!

And the Ultramarine, in case you were wondering about their color:

(pics reposted w/ permission from Bill)

The breeder is Spring Creek Peafowl, and in case anyone is secretly a peafowl breeder or knows other peafowl breeders with too much money that want in on a new color morph, he DOES have UM pairs and EUV hens (and more split males) for sale currently, for less than the only other person in the US that has them. They're still pricey, but cheaper. I WISH I had the extra to have my friend add on an EUV hen, but alas, I will have to wait to make my own in a few years. Even just the opportunity to do so is something I never expected to have!

#peafowl #my pets #longfeather lane #cool cool cool i'm crying about it again #but listen I am OVERCOME with happiness okay #Can't wait to cry in the middle of a VERY public place over a bird #can i gofundme a bird?? is that allowed in their tos

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otomehoneyybearr · 10 days ago

Text

Ruby's Lucky Bag

A Ruby-Style New Years: Sweet First Training!

Heads up: Lots of confectionary and Matcha-making terminology, but Professor Chevalier comes to save the day!

It was the New Year, and I found myself in Ruby, a country where the cherry blossoms were in full bloom.

Kagari: “Happy New Year. I’m glad you all came.”

Kagari: “Now, draw your swords.”

Yves & Licht “What!?” “……”

Keith: “Emma, stand back.”

Emma: “O-okay—Wah!?”

Chevalier: “Finish this quickly.”

(He picked me with one arm to distance us from Prince Kagari and the others, but shouldn't Prince Chevalier be joining the fight too!?)

Licht: "Chevalier, that’s easy for you to say."

Kagari: “If you fight with all you’ve got, you might stand a chance."

Licht: “He’s moving faster than before. Yves, don’t get any closer, it’s dangerous.”

Yves: "Ugh, it's heavy… my hands are going numb…"

Keith: “It’s 3 against 1, and he’s even holding back, yet we’re the ones struggling…"

Yves: “Wouldn’t a one-on-one with Prince Chevalier have been better?”

Licht: “If it were just the two of them, then the castle would collapse, and starting the year with an international incident would cause Sariel to collapse from the opverwork.”

Emma: “W-Why are we doing this the moment we arrive…?”

Kagari: “This is a common New Year’s greeting in Kogyoku.”

Emma: “This is a greeting!?!”

(The reason I came here was because Prince Kagari sent me an invitation to the first training of the year...)

(Could it be that the first training starts off with this New Year’s greeting?)

(But why was I invited? I can barely handle a kitchen knife, let alone a sword!)

(What if they tell me that I’m next and I get thoroughly beaten up...?!)

Chevalier: “That won’t happen.”

Emma: “Huh...?”

Kagari: “Did you take me seriously, Princess? That's a good expression.”

Yves: “Then why did you suddenly attack us?”

Kagari: “Don’t you also feel the urge to fight when a strong opponent appears before you?”

Yves: “That’s way too broad of an assumption… Most people don’t feel that way.”

Licht: "I get that feeling. I want to fight strong opponents too."

Yves: “What?”

Keith: “I kind of get it too… Maybe because of Kagari’s influence."

Yves: “Wait, am I in the minority here!?”

Kagari: "It was brief, but I enjoyed sparring with you all to start the New Year."

Kagari: "I hope you will join in next time, Chevalier."

Chevalier: “I wasn’t aware that keeping guests waiting was Ruby’s custom.”

Kagari: “You’re as cold as ever, despite that pretty face.”

Kagari: “Come in. An enjoyable training awaits.”

(What kind of training will it be?)

Kagari: “First, however—you’ll need to change, Princess.”

Emma: “Huh? Change…?”

.....

Yves, Licht, & Keith:

“…....”

Chevalier & Kagari: “......” “Gold Star”

Emma: “Um… I-I’ll go change back!”

Yves, Licht, & Keith: “No!” “Why?” “That’s…”

Emma: "But everyone looked so taken aback except for Prince Kagari."

Yves: "Of course we'd be shocked if you showed up in a kimono!"

Keith: “Yeah. Emma, you looked so beautiful in the kimono that we were at a loss for words. Your hair is done up so elegantly—you look adorable.”

Keith: “Right, Licht?”

Licht: “You’re supposed to ask that to Yves at times like this… But, I do think it suits you.”

Licht: “Right, Chevalier?”

Chevalier: “Don’t involve me in this.”

Licht: “Clavis told me to make sure your occasionally included in conversations,

Licht: "Or else my room will be filled with traps. Help me out.”

Chevalier: "How utterly ridiculous."

Emma: “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t that I didn’t look good… Thank you.”

(I never expected to be whisked away to another room by the servants and stripped of my clothes, only to then be dressed in a kimono…)

(But I’ve always wanted to try wearing a kimono, so I’m happy!)

Emma: “Whoa…!”

Yves: "Careful, are you okay?"

Emma: “Yeah. Thanks for stopping my fall, Yves.”

Yves: “It’s understandable since it's your first time in a kimono. Just don’t walk like you would in a skirt."

Yves: “And be careful not to mess up the outfit!”

Emma: “Got it. But…”

Yves: “W-what?”

Emma: “Why aren’t you looking at me?”

Yves: “Wh—, I-it’s not like your kimono looks so cute that I can’t handle looking at you up close, okay!?”

Kagari: “…? But he just admitted to it.”

Licht: "Don’t mind him. He’s always like this."

Kagari: “I see. What an amusing brother you have.”

Keith: "Kagari, since Emma changed into a kimono, does that mean the first training is actually a tea ceremony?”

Emma & Yves: “Tea ceremony?”

Kagari: “Correct. In Ruby, the first tea ceremony of the year is called the first kettle or the first training.”

Licht: "I see... That’s confusing."

(Licht’s expression—he was probably expecting sword training...)

Kagari: "Since this is everyone's first time aside from Keith, I don’t want to make it too formal. Just join in and enjoy yourself."

(So, it’s not a physical training session after all.)

Emma & Yves: "…That’s a relief."

....

Kagari: "…"

(Wow, this tea gathering is completely different from Rhodolite's.)

(What Prince Kagari is about to prepare... or rather, whisk, is matcha, right?)

(I remember the owner making it for me a long time ago.)

(What’s that cloth Prince Kagari just picked up?)

Chevalier: "That’s a fukusa. It’s used during the tea ceremony to purify the utensils and handle the kettle lid."

Licht: "The way he’s folded into triangles and long strips makes it look like a magic trick."

Emma: "Oh, so that stick-like thing he’s holding now is..."

Chevalier: "A chashaku. It’s used to scoop matcha from the natsume."

Emma: "Natsume...?"

Chevalier: "It’s the black cylindrical container."

Emma: "I see. And the item next to it...?"

Chevalier: "That’s a chasen, used for whisking the matcha."

Emma, Yves, & Licht: "Ohhh…"

Keith: "It’s amazing how naturally you turned Prince Chevalier into a guide."

(Prince Kagari’s precise and elegant movements during the tea preparation are so refined—it’s mesmerizing...)

Servant: "Pardon me... Please, enjoy."

Emma: "Thank you."

(How cute... It’s shaped like a cherry blossom. This type of sweet is called nerikiri, isn’t it?)

Kagari: "Go ahead and eat, Princess."

Emma: "Alright then... Thank you."

(It’s so pretty, it almost feels wrong to ruin it, but...)

(Mmm, it’s moist and smooth with a gentle sweetness... So delicious.)

Yves: "Hehe, look at that smile. You always look so happy when you eat something delicious."

Keith: "I get that. I can’t help but watch too... Wait."

Keith: "Being stared at by a big guy like me must make it hard to eat comfortably. Once again, I’m totally ruining the mood."

Licht: "You’re making it even harder to eat."

Emma: "Oh, um, please don’t worry about me. Let’s all enjoy these together! They’re really delicious!"

Kagari: "Chevalier, you drink first."

Chevalier: "……"

Kagari: "…No reaction, huh? How boring."

(What does he mean by that? ….Hmm?)

(The matcha Prince Kagari prepared looks a much darker green than the one the owner made for me before.)

(And there’s less of it. Maybe it’s a different type of tea leaf.)

Chevalier: "Hold out your hands."

Emma: "…! O-okay."

(He handed me the bowl of tea. So this matcha is meant to be shared? This is my first time trying it.)

(Here goes…)

Emma: "......?!?!"

(I-It’s so bitter! This is completely different from any matcha I’ve ever had.)

(Ugh... Haa... Somehow, I managed to drink it. I didn’t know matcha could be this bitter.)

Kagari: "Princess, you’re making quite the face."

Licht: "Look who’s talking."

Keith: "You look like someone who’s just succeeded in their prank…"

(So Prince Kagari’s comment earlier must have meant he was hoping for Prince Chevalier to react to the bitterness.)

Emma: "Alright, Yves, you’ve got this!"

Yves: "…? I’m not sure what you mean, but alright."

Yves: "Guh…!?!!"

Yves: "…Alright, Licht, your turn."

Licht: "Is it really that unusual a taste?"

Licht: "………"

Licht: "...Keith, you seem like you’d be used to this stuff."

Keith: "Licht, you're not thinking I’m some kind of herb enthusiast to roam around at night chewing on random plants, right?”

Licht: "I’d actually like to know how you reached that conclusion in the first place."

Licht: "I just thought you’d be used to it since Jade has been close with Ruby for a long time."

Keith: "Oh, that’s what you meant. Yeah, I’ve had thick matcha before."

Kagari: "Keith’s reaction was predictable. You two, however, had great reactions, just like the Princess."

Kagari: "It was worth preparing the finest matcha."

Licht: "You’ve got a wicked personality."

Kagari: "This is nothing compared to Clavis’s pranks."

Yves & Licht "That’s true." "Agreed."

Kagari: "Don’t worry. There’s another round coming up. This one will be usucha—a lighter tea, easier to drink."

Servant: "Excuse me."

Yves: "Oh, are we getting more sweets too?"

Kagari: "Of course. Sweets always come before matcha."

Licht: "They just melted away in my mouth."

Yves: "They’re called rakugan. I’ll make some for you when we’re back in Rhodolite."

(Ah, the servants are back... This time, each of us gets our own cup of matcha.)

Emma: "Oh!"

Licht: "What’s wrong?"

Emma: "There’s a rabbit drawn on my matcha!"

Yves: "I have a cat on mine. What about you, Licht?"

Licht: "A wolf. Keith’s looks like a deer?"

Keith: "Yeah. So then, Prince Chevalier’s is..."

(A tiger! The stern expression even resembles him a little.)

Keith: "Is this drawing made with matcha?"

Kagari: "Correct."

Emma: "It’s so cute, I almost don’t want to ruin it."

Kagari: "I’ll let the person who drew it know you said that."

Kagari: "Now, drink up. Tea loses its flavor as it cools."

Emma: "Alright, thank you."

Emma: "Mmm… It’s delicious! And not bitter at all."

Yves: "That’s true. It's probably because the sweetness from the snacks lingers in our mouths."

Licht: "So that’s why those snacks were so sweet."

Kagari: "Traditionally, we don’t do this, but I wanted to show some hospitality since you went out of your way to visit Ruby."

Keith: "K-Kagari... To think you could offer such wonderful hospitality…"

Licht: "How bad was it before…?"

Yves: "It must’ve been something worthy of his title as Demon."

(When we first arrived, we were met with a rather ominous greeting that made me nervous. But now, I feel so warm and at peace, both in body and mind.)

(I’m so glad I came to Ruby with everyone.)

(Starting the new year, spending such calm and serene time in a foreign land, it feels like this year is going to be a good one.)

(Now that I think about it...)

Emma: "Um, Prince Kagari, may I ask you something?"

Emma: "Why did you invite us to this first training?"

Kagari: "Just on a whim."

Kagari: "...Though if I had to give a reason, it’s because the water used in today’s tea is wakamizu."

Emma: "Wakamizu?"

Chevalier: "It refers to the water drawn for the first time on New Year’s Day."

Chevalier: "In Ruby, tea prepared with wakamizu is believed to be good for the body, ward off all illnesses, and dispel misfortune for the year."

Kagari: "You're well-informed. That’s exactly right."

(So the reason Prince Kagari invited us to the first training was...)

Kagari: "Saying goodbye right after getting to know someone is dull and boring."

Kagari: "Consider this my New Year’s gift to you—a hidden charm of sorts."

Kagari: "I wonder what kind of year this will be for all of us. Exciting, isn’t it?"

Achroite | Tanzanite

▼・ᴥ・▼

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikepri translations #ikemen prince spoilers #ikepri kagari #kagari amagase #ikepri keith #keith howell #ikepri yves #yves kloss #ikepri licht #licht klein #ikepri chevalier #chevalier michel

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genshin-obsessed · 2 years ago

Text

Confessions | Honkai Star Rail

So i've been super into hsr recently and I thought I'd get back to doing longer hcs because those are always fun! This time I left out Welt and Sampo and I'm not sure how I feel about it lol ✧ Includes: Dan Heng, Gepard, Jing Yuan, Luocha, Blade ✧ Extra: Something a little weird has happened to my Blade lol, he's just a confused man who really likes the reader. It may be ooc- i have no clue

Dan Heng

For Dan Heng, he doesn’t know how long he’s liked you. He just realized it one day when you said something- a compliment towards him- and he just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Dan Heng’s not the most outward person, so wanting to confess wasn’t something easy for him. He actually needed to prepare, give himself a pep talk and all. His method is invite you to his room and then just tell you- no beating around the bush.

You’re shocked to say the least- I mean it’s DAN HENG. He liked you?! HE CONFESSED?! You sat there for a good minute just staring at him. He looked calm but kinda started panicking on the inside.

“I-I like you too!” You say before he can speak. You were so loud, he jumped a little. Safe to say, he’s extremely happy you accepted because then it would’ve been awkward afterwards.

“Oh good… good.”

Gepard Landau

Everyone knows Gepard likes you before himself. He can say it’s just been a few months but others know it’s been like a year. It’s just the way he acts and stuff.

Gepard has a VERY hard time confessing. He’ll keep trying to do it, but then backs out at the last minute. He’ll keep saying he wants to talk to you about something important then just doesn’t tell you. Finally, one day… it slips out. You two are alone and he barely realizes it until he sees your face.

You’re happy but also shocked. The guy you’ve liked for like ever finally likes you back! Do you go through the statue phase of freezing up and staring? Yes. Did he start panicking because of it? Yes. Your reaction right after was to throw yourself at him and give him a tight hug.

He doesn’t say anything right then and just hugs you back. You not running away, horrified, probably meant you felt the same. That made him happy- so happy he didn’t even know what to do.

“Thank you… for not running away- oh and liking me back.”

Jing Yuan

His feelings had been around for a few months now, he knew pretty much instantly when he was attracted to you. It didn’t take him long to figure out he was in love with you either. It was obvious, his heart pounded when you were around, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, and he was always worried you’d find someone else.

Jing Yuan confesses fancy style. He’ll invite you out to like dinner or something or maybe just to take a late night walk with him. As you’re walking, he’ll coyly bring up the topic of dating and whatnot. You two chat for a bit, then he just admits it. He makes sure to add the “it’s alright if you don’t feel the same way, I won’t be upset.”

Of course, you do feel the same way! Your eyes widen and you gasp as the reality sets in. The General of the Cloud Knights liked YOU! It took a moment to just process his words, and Jing Yuan stood there patiently, giving you time to think. If you were going to say no, that’s fine, he just needed a clear answer. You found it hard to speak but forced the words out, “I-I feel the same.”

Jing Yuan’s over the moon with this newfound knowledge. He’s so happy, he could shout it out from over the rooftops. Honestly! All he can do is give you a tight hug, not wanting to do anything else if you weren’t ready for it- say a kiss.

“I’m glad. We should go on a date then- a proper one.”

Luocha

Luocha is very good at keeping his feelings to himself. At first, he thought it was just a little crush and it would pass. But it didn’t. It just… kept developing. He tried to manage it, feeling that maybe a relationship right now wasn’t the best option for him. But when his heart would start pounding every time you smiled at him, or his mind went back to you and what you might’ve been doing when you two were apart told me he… maybe didn’t wanna wait.

Luocha’s confession wasn’t exactly grand. I mean, what was there to be super grand about? Especially if you were going to reject him. So he just took you out on a little walk and slyly brought up the topic of relationships. Once you mentioned you didn’t mind being in one, he just said, “will you be in one with me?”

You kinda froze. Deer in headlights situation. You needed a moment to process what he’d just said. He… wanted to date you? WELL GOOD! YOU WANTED TO DATE HIM! You happily nodded, a big giant smile spreading on your face.

There was this emotion he felt when you said you liked him too. Pure, unadulterated happiness. He felt so good about himself, about life, about everything. That emotion spoke volumes and all he could do was hug you. Tightly.

"I'm glad... because I was really, really nervous you'd say no."

Blade

Ok… hear me out. Blade knows he likes you… when he doesn’t hate you. When you ask him for a favor and he says yes. When you hug him and he doesn’t strangle you- honestly, it wasn’t hard for him to know. Kafka teases him and he just ignores her.

Blade… doesn’t know how to confess. He’s not crazy about relationships or… people. So his entire confession was just confusing. You followed absolutely nothing except: “I like you.” You thought he was just admitting he didn’t hate you. That was good news! But you didn’t realize how good it was. “That’s great! I like you too!” You replied to which he crossed his arms, nodded, and said… “we’re dating now.”

Mhm. Yeah. That’s how smooth he is :’) you- you poor soul- didn’t know what he meant at first. So you were beyond shocked when he said what he did. Blade- BLADE- liked you- Y O U- romantically? You liked him too but you never ever expected this. Not in a million years.

You could only manage a dazed nod for a few seconds before a giant smile spread on your face and you practically threw yourself at him. Blade’s usual reaction would be to shove the person away but this was his special person. So… he hugged back.

“That was… rude, I think? Will you go on a date with me?”

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #dan heng x reader #jing yuan x reader #blade x reader #luocha x reader #gepard x reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #🖊─ pocky’s writings

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ladycaramelswirl · 8 months ago

Text

I love you more

Ahhh it’s finally done! This is my first ever fic so it’s a little clunky, but I hope you like it💕

Summary: BAU reader and Aaron are married. What happens when she wakes up in a different past than the one she knows?

A/N: for the sake of the story Aaron and Haley get divorced some time in early S2. Reader joins in S3 and her and Aaron start dating during beginning S4. If anyone’s curious it’s a friends to lovers where he’s already in love with her before they start dating. I might write that too if anyone’s interested. sorry if there’s any typos 🙇‍♀️ (girl dad Aaron inspired by all the Ellie Hotchner writing by @ssahotchnerr)

Tags: fluff, domestic fluff, ANGST lol, no happy ending (TBD I may write a part 2), no use of Y/N. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation and it’s very evident here. Don’t come for me. SFW.

(Feel free to stop reading at the point where they fall asleep if you don’t want to read angst).

———————————————

Sunlight streams into the room, waking you up. You turn to the side to see Aaron already up, smiling.

“Good morning, Mrs. Hotchner.”

You giggle.

“Good morning, husband.”

His smile widens and he gives you a small kiss. It had been a little joke between you both on the day after your wedding, but it had stuck, becoming a part of your routine every morning. You both love it because it reminds each of you how happy you were on your wedding day, and how much you appreciate being in each others life. It’s been a year and a half since your wedding, and almost 4 years since you started dating. You move around each other seamlessly, every step of your morning routine in sync. You both brush your teeth and then he makes coffee while you make breakfast. Jack comes down the stairs and you all eat together. After breakfast, he will wash the dishes as you make sure Jack has everything for school. Today though, as you meet Aaron’s eyes over your coffee, you know he’s thinking of your last case, a family annihilator who targeted families as they ate together. You both had trouble sleeping after coming home last night, but as he squeezes your hand, you are profoundly grateful for the simple gift of being able to drink coffee in the morning with the love of your life.

“I love you”, you whisper, not wanting to alert Jack to why you both look a little sad.

“I love you too”, he whispers back.

“I love you the most!”, Jack shouts and you both smile. The two of them argue about how each of you loves the other more as you finish breakfast. Aaron picks up Jack and you all end up in a big giggly hug.

“How about we all agree that all of us love each other the most?”, he asks. Jack ponders for a moment.

“Okay”, he nods. “If you love me can I have ice cream?”

You burst into laughter as Aaron frowns, trying to hide his smile.

“Nice try buddy, but no ice cream before school.”

Jack pouts as you tell him to get his bag for school, but the ice cream is forgotten as you ask him some questions about his friends that he enthusiastically answers. He continues chattering on until he’s dropped off at school.

“Bye!”, he yells before running out of the car to meet his friends.

——

You give each other a quick kiss while still in the Quantico parking lot. You’ve both agreed to keep things professional at work, including a rule about no PDA in the office. But yesterday’s case must have rattled Aaron more than you thought because he grabs your hand in the elevator and squeezes three times. I love you. You squeeze three times back, which is how the elevator opens to you holding hands smiling as you look into each others eyes. You hear a squeal and both startle, dropping your hands, but not before Penelope takes a photo.

“I am making this your new computer background! I have a criminally small number of photos with you two. You’re so professional all the time, you wouldn’t even know that you’re together”, she pouts.

“Penelope you took like a hundred photos at our wedding”, you laugh.

“And there are rules about workplace conduct”, Aaron reminds, which causes her to blush. Derek walks past you three to whisk Penelope away.

“Leave mom and dad alone”, he whispers loudly while grinning, clearly meaning to let you both hear the office nickname for you two. You roll your eyes at him and smile at Aaron before heading to your desk, greeting the others good morning. You barely have a chance to sit down before JJ calls you all into the conference room for a briefing on a new case. You grab your go bag and head to the jet. The local police department has called you late and the unsub’s already starting to devolve, making mistakes everywhere and leading you all to finding him within a couple of hours after landing. He gets shot while getting apprehended which means there’s no interrogation either. You all pile back onto the jet, the pilot letting you know that you’ll be back at Quantico in an hour. It feels wrong to go home on time. For all that death to be part of a regular 9 to 5 work day. Catching the unsub is supposed to mean a success, but it’s tense on the jet. You’re still reeling at the attitude of the local police department. They were insistent to do what they could to keep the BAU off the case and made it clear you had only invited because they were forced to by the mayor. You wonder if they had called sooner, that maybe some of the victims would still be alive. If he wouldn’t have killed his last victim when the police had ignored your profile and approached him with force instead of sympathy as you had recommended. You’re pretty sure everyone on the plane is thinking it too. You lift your arm into the air and gently nudge Aaron’s up too. Spencer catches your eye and his arm is also already halfway up, knowing exactly what’s coming.

“Last one with their hand in the air buys the first round tonight”, you say and immediately everyone’s hands shoot up except Rossi, who looks mildly annoyed.

“I would have bought a round for everyone anyway”, he shrugs.

Emily scoffs. “Grandpa’s a sore loser”, she says under her breath which causes you all to crack up. The air immediately feels lighter and everyone starts joking again, debating the fairness of your hands up game. You grab Garcia before leaving Quantico and all head to the bar down the street. Her bubbly chatter makes everyone laugh and you can’t help but feel pleased. The job was tough mentally, and you always tried to make sure the team was doing well. Satisfied that everyone was cheerful again, you decide to leave after the first round, but Aaron pulls you to the dance floor before you can even order, which gets you grins from other members of the team. You laugh as he spins you around.

“Damn Hotch got moves”, Derek shouts.

“If my wife looked like that I’d beg her to dance with me too”, Emily smirks.

You ignore their teasing, swaying in Aaron’s arms and enjoying the scent of him mixed with his cologne and laundry detergent. It smells like home. He kisses your forehead, finding comfort in the smell of your shampoo, and the soothing feeling of your body against his.

“Everyone’s in a better mood because of you. Thank you for doing this”, he says into your hair.

You shrug. “Everyone needed this, including me. It’s not a big deal, I like it when everyone’s happy. It makes me happy.”

He gazes at you in rapture before leaning down to take your lips with his, kissing you breathless. You’re a little dazed when you both pull apart.

“What was that for Mr. Hotchner?”, you grin.

You think you could get drunk on the way he looks at you.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you so much”, he says softly.

You feel a little prickle of tears. “I love you too. I don’t know what I’d do without you either, so you’re stuck with me forever”, you joke, causing him to smile.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

He leaves a kiss on your neck and you breathe out a sigh.

“Want to get out of here?”

“Trying to take advantage of me Mrs. Hotchner?”, he teases.

“Yes”, you giggle.

“Thank God”, he grins, pulling you towards the door.

“We’re going home!”, you wave at everyone who waves back, giving you both knowing smirks.

“Use protection!”, Emily yells, which earns her an eye roll from you.

You walk over to your car and Aaron puts an arm around your waist.

“A little late for that”, he smiles.

You nudge his shoulder. “Did you only dance with me so I wouldn’t have to explain why I couldn’t drink?”

He gives you a little smile. “I danced with you because you’re beautiful. The fact that you asked me to help you keep it a secret was a fun bonus”.

The second you had seen the pregnancy stick change colour, Aaron had covered you in kisses. You were both elated. But telling people you were pregnant meant you would have to sit out from field work for a while and you loved your job. Aaron had been against it at first, worried about your safety, but you had come to an agreement that you would stop when you were ready, as long as you promised to take it easy. So you were keeping it a secret. But you both wanted to tell people.

“I think we should tell them soon”, you say. “At the rate she’s growing, people are going to figure it out anyway”

Aaron looks at you excitedly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah”.

He interlaces his fingers with yours and you drive home with you hands in each others.

When you get home you thank Jessica for watching Jack. He’s excited that you’re both home early enough to tuck him into bed, but he’s tired and his eyes are fighting to stay open.

“Good night Jack, I love you”, you whisper, kissing his forehead.

“I love you mommy”, he mumbles.

Then he hugs your stomach.

“I love you, baby”, he says.

You and Aaron melt, trying not to tear up. You were worried when you had first found out about your pregnancy, not wanting Jack to feel left out, but he had been so excited at the thought of having a sibling. After finding out that the baby could hear him, he had been chatting to her all the time. He was going to be a great big brother.

“I love you too daddy”, he says.

Aaron chuckles. “Love you buddy. Time to sleep.”

Jack nods off and you both quietly tiptoe out of his room.

You get into bed and Aaron immediately puts him arms around you, pulling you to him.

“How come he says I love you to you and the baby before me?”, he teases, rubbing his hand on your back.

“I guess he loves us more”, you joke. Aaron moves around so his face is near your stomach.

“Hey sweetheart, your mom and Jack are teaming up against me. I’ll give you anything you want so promise me you’ll say Dad first instead of Mom or Jack when you come out okay?”

You smack his arm lightly.

“Stop bribing our daughter. And she’s going to say Mom first, right honey?”

Aaron smiles into your pyjamas. “It’s okay. I understand. I love your mom the most too”.

You pull him back up and rest your head on his shoulder.

“I can’t wait to meet her”, you whisper.

“If she’s anything like you, she’s going to be perfect”, he says.

“I hope she’s like you”, you tell him sincerely. You’d be lucky if your daughter was anything like her father. “I love you”.

You lie in each others arms, the last words you hear before falling asleep are a murmur of ‘I love you more’.

————————————

You wake up to the smell of pancakes. You smile, remembering you had told Aaron in the car last night that you wanted to eat some. You try to blink the fatigue out of your eyes and move towards the door. You recall a dream about him from last night that comes to you in flashes. It’s fuzzy, and you’re sleepy, which is why you don’t notice anything wrong until you step out and see the kitchen. Not your kitchen. And not Aaron in it. A smiling face startles you awake.

“Emily?”

“You woke up! I made pancakes, come have some”.

You stare at her. “When did I get here?”

She laughs. “You’ve been living here for like 2 weeks.”

What? “Seriously, how did I get here?”.

Her smile fades at the confusion on your face.

“You don’t remember?”

You shake your head and her brows immediately furrow in concern.

“You told me you were cleared for a concussion”, she mutters, sounding a little angry.

“Concussion?”

She forces you to sit down, frantically turning off the stove and grabbing you both coats. “Ok, we’re going to the hospital. I can’t believe you lied to me.”

Lied? What the hell was going on?

“What? How would I have a concussion? Why am I in your apartment? Where’s Aaron?”, you ask, slightly panicked at this point.

Your words make her go still. She stares at you for a moment, but before you can say anything else, she grabs her car keys and starts pushing you out the door. She promises to explain later and, despite your protests, manages to get you in the car. She sets up the GPS and starts driving.

“Okay how much do you remember?”, she asks worriedly.

“I remember we went for drinks last night after the case, then we went home and went to bed. Why am I in your apartment? Why would I have a concussion?”.

She grips the steering wheel a little tighter and speeds up. You grip your seatbelt.

“Oh my God, Emily slow down”, you yelp.

She ignores you and pulls into the hospital parking lot, dragging you towards the ER. She flashes her badge at a nurse.

“Emily Prentiss, FBI.” She gestures at you. “She’s an agent. She hit her head yesterday and now she’s having memory problems. I think she has a concussion.”

The nurse nods and asks you both to wait a moment. She gives you a form to fill out and Emily takes it. You look at her, exasperated.

“What’s going on?”

She looks tired. “We didn’t go out for drinks yesterday. You hit your head taking down an unsub. You told me you were cleared by the EMT, and you’ve been staying at my apartment since…”, she looks pained. “… for about 2 weeks because you’ve been a little… reckless lately.”

“Reckless?” If anything you’ve been more careful because you’re scared you might hurt the baby. “I’m not reckless.”

Emily stares at you in disbelief.

“You walked into a dangerous situation without backup. Look, I know things have been hard with Hotch-“

“What?” Why would things be hard with Aaron? “Aaron knows I wouldn’t do anything unnecessarily”, you tell her.

Her eyes cloud in sympathy and you stare back, confused. Ok, well Aaron would be upset if you had stormed in without backup. But he knew you were capable and even mad, would still respect your decision. Right? You’re about to start interrogating her for answers when a voice interrupts you.

“Emily?”

You look up and all the blood drains from your face. You’re thankful you’re sitting down because you’re certain you would have fallen over. Emily squeezes your hand before standing up and greeting the owner of the voice.

“Hi, Haley, what are you doing here?”

You try not to look like you were seeing a ghost. Standing in front of you was a woman that was supposed to be dead, except she was very much alive. And also staring at you. She gives you a wave. Your brain somehow sends a signal to your arm to do the same.

“I just finished a checkup. I’m about to leave”, she says.

The two chat a little before Haley is called away by a nurse. You stare at the back of her head until she disappears.

“You okay?”, Emily asks quietly.

You don’t even know how to answer. You glance down at the form Emily had left on her seat and blanch at the numbers on the top.

“Emily, what day is it?”

She looks at you worried.

“Wednesday.”

“The date. The full date”, you croak.

“Wednesday, 16th December 2009.”

You grip the chair. No. It was 2012. 16th December 2012.

“What day do you think it is?”, she asks softly.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath. It’s a prank. Some kind of prank. But you open your eyes and Emily is still staring at you. And suddenly your dream from last night comes back to you. You in Aaron’s driveway picking up some pictures from his old house to use for a surprise. Seeing Foyet walk in with Haley and Jack. Sneaking into the house and waiting for Jack to leave and shooting Foyet. Haley screaming as his blood splattered all over her. You silent as you watch the life leave his eyes. Aaron running in, hugging Jack and consoling Haley as she cried. Them leaving together. Him being on leave to spend time with them and you giving him space. Him bumping into you at a coffee shop after not speaking to you for 3 weeks. You running into the building with a deranged unsub without backup a few hours later. You feel it all like you were there. Not a dream, but memories. Each one filling you with agony and dread. You feel sick. You need to see Aaron.

“I have to go”, you tell Emily. She protests, telling you you need to get checked out, but she can tell from the haunted look in your eyes that you remember everything now. She nods, helping you to catch a taxi. You’re on autopilot as you give the driver the address to Aaron’s old apartment. The ride is a blur and you barely remember being in the elevator or knocking his door. You’re in a haze until he opens the door. The immediate guilt in his eyes and the sinking feeling in your stomach is sickeningly real.

“I need to talk to you”, you say, your voice shaking. He stares at you before opening the door wider, letting you in. You move towards the sofa but neither of you sit. Silence stretches out between the two of you. You need to say something. You need him to tell you this isn’t real. But you don’t know how to behave, how to be around this version of him that isn’t your husband. What do you say to the man who doesn’t know he was the father of a child that doesn’t even exist? He runs a hand through his hair and looks down at his feet. You continue to stare at the empty space beside his head. Before you had moved into your house, there used to be a picture hanging there of you, him and Jack. Now it’s just a blank wall. He breaks the silence first.

“They’ve offered me retirement.”

Your Aaron hadn’t told you like this. He had told you he was coming back. You suppose there’s only one reason he would tell you.

“You’re going to take it.”

It’s supposed to be a question, but you know him too well.

“I have to. For them.”

Every moment of what was supposed to be the rest of your life dies before your eyes. You’ll never have your sleepy good mornings. Never hear him call you his wife, never get married. Never hear Jack calling you mom, never sit down and eat with your family. They weren’t your family anymore, you remember. They were Haley’s. You want to scream. At the universe? At him?

He just thinks he’s breaking up with his girlfriend, you tell yourself. That the Aaron in front of you has barely even been in love with you for a year. He doesn’t know that he has any memories of your life together to miss. But he must see the devastation in your face because you see the shame etched in his. You watch his heart breaking at the thought of hurting you. As he sheds a tear, you instinctively bring your hand to his cheek, wiping it away with your thumb. He rests his forehead on your shoulder and you move your hand to the back of his head.

“I don’t know what to do”, he says, his voice breaking.

You feel your own tears fall down your face, warm. He doesn’t see them.

“You do”, you whisper back.

You know. That he loves Haley, but he doesn’t want to hurt you. That he loves you, but he wants to be a good father more. That their marriage had really only ended because of his job. You also know that you refuse to be with him if he’s in love with someone else. That you won’t be the reason Jack can’t have both his parents happily married under one roof. That Aaron deserves happiness with the love of his life, even if it’s not you. So you take a step towards him and allow yourself the comfort of being held by him one last time. You bury your face into his neck, and breathe him in. The feeling of his arms wrapped around you, and his smell, the two things that were once your greatest solace would now be the two things you would always wish you could forget. You want to stay here forever, to pretend that this was still the Aaron who loved you. But you put your hands on his chest, pushing your face away from the crook of his neck to look at him. You wonder if he remembers your life together - the future you would have had. If he knows there is a girl neither of you will ever meet. But he doesn’t look at you the way he used to. You feel, with a mournful certainty, that those memories are yours to die with. He presses his lips together, trying to blink his tears away. They fall anyway. You smile at the man who isn’t yours anymore.

“You love her”.

His whole body hurts at the certainty in your tone. Its agonising finality.

“I’m sorry”, he murmurs. You wonder what it means that you hope he doesn’t blame himself for your heart breaking. To you it just feels like pain.

“I know”.

Your lips touch his in a farewell, the ghosts of a thousand kisses never to be dying between them. The words exchanged between two lovers from a lifetime ago feel heavy on your tongue. He would never hear you say them and you would never hear it back.

I love you.

“Goodbye, Aaron”.

——————

fin.

thank you for reading :)

masterlist

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #criminal minds x reader #angst #emily prentiss #spencer reid #bau team #derek morgan #penelope garcia #david rossi

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earlycuntsets · 1 month ago

Text

"mikey way

"me and gerard, we're the best friends in the world"

Once again, we meet Mikey Way. But this time this guy talks soooooo much. Hi hi hi! Never thought Mikey could be this chatty!

Long coat and black jeans, that's the outfit worn by Mikey Way when he met W at the Malia Hotel, Thursday afternoon, January 31, 2008. Wow, he looked really neat. But when watching MCR's concert a few hours later, it turned out that Mikey was also wearing the same costume, he he he. It's very clear that his long coat and all-black jeans are not just a style but an important part of his identity.

Anyway… Mikey looked relaxed as he shook hands with W. As a small talk, W of course asked him what he thought about Jakarta. He answered honestly. "So far, great. But I haven't been here long. Only 12 hours, only half a day. So, you know." He said as he took a large white plastic cup of coffee from the table in front of him. His hands looked a little shaky.

Gosh, Mikey, the conversation has become so serious, huh, he he he. W reminds me that the name My Chemical Romance was taken from one of the books Mikey read when he was still working at Barnes & Noble bookstore, namely Ecstasy: Three Tales of Chemical Romance by Irvine Welsh. mentioned by Mikey, here. Wow, it seems so funny to imagine Mikey being a bookworm, huh? Apart from Gerard being the vocalist and frontman of My Chem, he is still Mikey's 'big brother'. So, let's just start asking about Gerard, shall we?

Mmm, maybe we can start with a question that's not too direct, huh…

What's the most annoying thing about Gerard?

"Him? There's nothing bad about him. Even if there's something annoying, it makes me love him even more. Ha ha. Even if there's something bad about him, it's endearing. Gera is a very talented and admirable individual."

What is the annoying side of you in Gerard's eyes?

"Me? Well, I don't know. Ha ha. Maybe you guys better ask Gerard directly, haha ha."

Have you two ever fought?

"We have. It's natural. But not too often. In a few years maybe."

Can you tell us a little bit about how you and Gerard are actually brothers? what kind?

"We're the best friends in the world. We always hang out together. We always talk. Especially when we're on tour, we always share a room in a hotel. only once we fought, ha ha ha. We barely fight."

Do you still have time to read a book?

"Yes, I still am. Right now I'm reading Needful Things by Stephen King. This is actually my second time reading it, he he he."

Wow, you really like horror stories, huh?

"Ha ha ha, yes. I like horror novels and also horror movies. Stephen King is a great horror writer. Many of his books are horror themed. I really like Stephen King."

From early on, it seemed like Gerard did most of the talking.

"I only talk when necessary. Not only me, Frank, Bob and Ray have also. But more often than not we have to take care of our own musical instruments, so we leave that responsibility to Gerard, he he he."

Totally agree, Mikey Unfortunately, Gerard isn't there, hu hu hu!

On stage, Gerard is the same. Have you ever joined in the conversation with the audience?

"Well, yes sure. I have."

Anyway, really happy to chat with you. Lately, MCR has been using piano players a lot at concerts, huh?

"We do everything like other big bands do."

Are there plans to make James Dewees a permanent member of MCR?

Oh, James. He's already become My Chem family member since ama. Even though he is not a member of MCR, he is our friend. We have also known him for a long time. Besides, we like the sound of our concert piano. So, we keep using it.

Why, the hell, is the sound of the piano so important to MCR?

"Piano is the basis for all music. Since we know a cool piano player like James Dewees, we might as well include him in the line-up. Unfortunately, James is currently at sound check, so he can't be here."

My Chem, that's how Mikey shortens the name My Chemical Romance. Frankly, W also knows nothing, he he he. When asked when My Chem (yikes, I'm following Mikey) will release a new album, Mikey said it would be around early or mid 2009. Wow, that's still quite a long time away, huh. When W asked about My Chem's three previous albums, this guy remained enthusiastic, cas cis cus.(?)

Tell us about the metamorphosis from the first to the third album…

"Sure sure"

Album: Bullets

"We were still very young. We were in our early 20s and we had only been in the band for about 10 months. Every song that was created at that time was indeed in accordance with our condition at that time. If you listen to it, you will definitely feel the nuances of My Chem now. The songs on the first album are like 'the younger brother of The Black Parade,

Is the creative process different?

"Let's see… The first album, / was really green, he he he. Gerard was also very young. We felt more spontaneous. The second album, Three Cheers… was more mature, more aggressive. The longer it went on, the clearer it became in The Black Parade. The difference was probably with the presence of Bob on drums. He is one of the phenomenal drummers. Many people say so. Because of Bob, The Black Parade seemed touching on many musical genres."

What if someone says that The Black Parade sounds smoother than previous albums?

"Technically, yes. The first album was made in the basement. The sound was rough. But eventually we had a bigger studio and had more time to prepare the material."

adhika annisa, marti photo: yudha

08/2008 kawanku (indonesia) from mcrhollywood

english translation done by google translate

#english translation by google edited by me #mikey way #2008 #black parade era #black parade is dead era #my chemical romance #mcr #not my scans at any time #mcrhollywood #mcr scans #gerard way #ray toro #frank iero

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otomiyaa · 1 year ago

Text

Terms & Conditions

Alhaitham x Kaveh

A/N: First fic I'm uploading on the new blog (yolo) and gift for @xsezzie sama pos because, well. Because. The pose in this fic was inspired by this art by @ppystkposts :)

Summary: Alhaitham proposes to discuss the new terms and conditions for living together with Kaveh. (Also on AO3)

Word Count: 1.8K

Letters, a lot of them. Kaveh squinted his eyes and looked up at Alhaitham who had just presented him with a document that would take years of his life, just to read.

"What's this?" he asked. Alhaitham tapped the document as if Kaveh was an idiot.

"A new agreement. I figured, it's been a little over a year since you moved in with me. We can extend the contract, if you like."

Kaveh glared at him, then scanned the huge agreement. It was a long piece of paper with so many letters. What was Alhaitham plotting all of a sudden?

"....Have there been any problems?" Kaveh wondered.

Alhaitham shook his head. "So far, no. But there might be. Sign this and we'll give it another go for the next year."

Kaveh read the beginning of the contract and hummed. How cold. It was a fact that his relationship with Alhaitham had kind of moved on to the more... intimate kind. They kissed, they shared a bed, wasn't that the definition of dating? But yeah, it was also a fact that Kaveh was living here, in Alhaitham's house. It wasn't like they were married or something...

Still, to be treated like a mere tenant, it kind of stung. Was it maybe related to the fact that he lowered Kaveh's rent earlier due to Kaveh really struggling financially? Wasn't it an act out of empathy from Alhaitham, and he had stopped trusting him ever since now that he lived here for a cheap price?

Kaveh sighed, skipped all of the nonsense which was obviously just Alhaitham being boring about guarantees for losing his key, rent payment, Kaveh's list of domestic duties, standard rules about not damaging his belongings and such, so he took the pen Alhaitham handed to him and signed.

"There. Happy? I signed," Kaveh said, and he crossed his arms. Alhaitham nodded.

"Thank you. Well then, that settles it. This agreement is effective starting today. Now as for point 7.2," Alhaitham said, and Kaveh frowned.

"I would like to make use of it immediately. So please," he gestured to the couch. "Come with me."

Kaveh quickly jumped in front of him and stopped him with a hand on Alhaitham's chest.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. Alhaitham grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"The thing you agreed to. The condition for living with me. We are doing it now."

Huh! Kaveh struggled when Alhaitham dragged him towards the couch and managed to pull himself free.

"What do you even meanー" He rushed back to the table and checked the contract again. There were a total of 12 segments, so 7.2 was obviously overlooked like most things he only scanned briefly. It was hidden under the category 'domestic duties' and...

Kaveh's eyes widened and he blushed.

"...Will subject to complimentary tickle session for once a w-w-week? What the...?" Kaveh said in a pitchy voice. His mouth opened wide at the realization that this must be because...

Last night... He blushed even more at the memory.

He kind of tickled Alhaitham brutally, teasing him about his sensitivity and laughter. And then managed to fight him off effectively when Alhaitham tried to return the favor, with Kaveh childishly threatening him to spread the word all around Sumeru about their most ticklish scholar, if he wouldn't let him go. Sumeru already knew how ticklish Kaveh was, so there was no way to return the threat for Alhaitham and he let it rest. Only to retaliate with a comeback like this?!

"I can't believe you included a rule like that. You tricked me. I didn't agree to that."

"Yet you did. You signed your name, I saw it with my own eyes. It's not my fault you didn't read all the terms and conditions. So," Alhaitham sat on the couch and patted his lap.

"Come here. I'll be gentle."

Kaveh took a step back and shuddered. "No way man! You can't make me."

"Well, I won't force you. But I will, how should I put it. I would be very disappointed if you break our contract right after signing it." To make things worse, Alhaitham gave him the worst puppy look he had ever seen on his usually expressionless face.

Kaveh gasped. Alhaitham was such a trickster! And still...! He clenched his fist and stomped towards him.

"Fine. But seriously, once a week?" he asked, moving over to where Alhaitham was sitting.

"Could have been once a day, but I thought that would overdo it. Besides, it's my fingers that will do all the work."

"Or once a month, once a year, or never at all," Kaveh grumbled, shyly sitting on Alhaitham's lap and deciding to ignore that comment about Alhaitham's damn fingers doing 'all the work'.

"Like this?" he asked, leaning back.

"More like this..." Alhaitham said, and before Kaveh could protest, he had flexibly positioned Kaveh's arms under his legs, pinning them down with ease.

"Will keep you from moving around," Alhaitham explained. Well duh, Mr. Obvious. Kaveh squirmed nervously and looked up at him, now suddenly realizing what he had gotten himself into. Willingly...

"H-h-how long?" he asked, gazing at Alhaitham's fingers that were flexing above his tummy. To make things worse, Alhaitham even took his shirt and moved it up, revealing his bare skin.

"Hmm, for as long as you can go," Alhaitham said, wiggling his fingers above Kaveh's bare stomach and making him twitch already.

"A-and who decides that?" Kaveh asked. Alhaitham then smirked.

"I do."

As soon as his fingers made contact with his ticklish tummy, Kaveh instantly made a noise.

"HYAhh! Ahahalhaitham hohohold on!"

"No, we're starting."

"Buhhuhut - ahahaha!" Kaveh wasn't even sure what he was trying to say. After accidentally signing an agreement that included this exact tickle treatment, and then voluntarily letting Alhaitham do his thing, you'd expect he knew what he was getting himself into. But only now that he was really feeling the tickling, it started to sink in, and oh shit he had never been in such a helpless and vulnerable position before.

"I quite like this position," Alhaitham said, pressing Kaveh's arms even tighter against the couch while his fingers danced mercilessly all over his bare stomach, scribbling around and over his belly button and pinching and squeezing his sides every now and then.

"Nohoho! You ahahare the wohohorst!" Kaveh roared.

"I know," Alhaitham agreed. Kaveh thought it was going to be just tummy tickles, again he was such a naive little fool. As soon as Alhaitham's fingers moved further up, pushing his shirt further up and climbing up his ticklish ribs, he jumped and let out a loud hysterical shriek.

"NAHAh nonono not thehehere!" he protested.

"Where?" Alhaitham dug in carefully between his lower ribs and slowly wiggled them upwards where he stayed at his upper ribs, his fingers doing devil's work there. Kaveh was losing his mind.

"PLEhehe-plehehease! Hehehehe! Tihihime out!"

"Already?" Alhaitham asked.

"Soohoon plehehease whahaha!" Kaveh laughed breathlessly. How embarrassing. So humiliating that he couldn't take more than that. But this position in which he really couldn't move, it was like no other tickle attack he had ever experienced. Alhaitham sighed and finally stopped, resting his hands against Kaveh's heaving chest.

"I will let you catch your breath," Alhaitham said, and his eyes shifted for a little. Kaveh's eyes widened, he knew where he was looking.

"N-n-not my ahaharmpits," he laughed nervously.

"I'm sure you can take just a little bit of that. I've been quite gentle so far," Alhaitham said. Gentle! W-well that was true, actually. He hadn't been as rough, as ahem, other times. But yeah, those were entirely different. It was funny they would sometimes roughhouse and have some crazy silly tickle fights, but this 'tickle session' just couldn't compare to it all.

"Ready?" Alhaitham asked.

"No," Kaveh replied cockily, and he stuck out his tongue. So naturally, Alhaitham's fingers reached his armpits and started to tickle. Kaveh threw his head back and howled.

"Daaaahahaahaamn ahahahah!" Alhaitham was relentless. He tickled both armpits for as long Kaveh could endure, but when one hand moved back and picked up the tummy tickle torture, things weren't much better for Kaveh who could hardly breathe through his hysterical laughing fit. His legs kicked helplessly and he shook his head from side to side.

"AHahahalhaithahaham! Nahahah- ahahaha plehehease!"

Alhaitham smirked at him, looking so unbelievably satisfied with himself and his result from his stupid prank.

"AHahaha-ALHAITHAHAM!" Kaveh shrieked.

"Yes?" He finally got a reply.

"AHAhaha! No mohohore! Waahaahha!" Kaveh had no idea how long it had been. But at last, Alhaitham seemed to decide that Kaveh had reached his limit.

Kaveh's arms were released, but he was too tired to move away and just tiredly rested in Alhaitham's lap, breathing heavily and gasping for air.

"That - was - insane," he panted, but he couldn't stop smiling. His voice also sounded like it had changed pitch permanently. Geez. It felt like an entire workout.

For a moment they stayed in silence, and nothing could be heard except Kaveh's loud breaths.

Surprisingly, Alhaitham was the first to speak then. "You didn't read the rest, did you?"

"What rest?" Kaveh asked, annoyed again about that lame agreement trick. He was never going to sign anything ever again without reading every single letter.

"Well," Alhaitham said, and he paused.

"...At 7.2.1. for example, it says that I am only allowed to tickle you that one time a week. So, you'll probably like that. Unless you give me permission to do it more often, of course," Alhaitham explained, caressing Kaveh's hair.

Huh? Alhaitham was so talkative now, Kaveh had to let those words sink in. Hmm, so he could only tickle Kaveh that one time a week, unless Kaveh literally gave him permission to tickle him more?

Even after enduring all this, the sudden thought of limiting Alhaitham's tickle attacks to just once a week... All of a sudden it didn't sound like a lot, he thought as he remembered some of the times when Alhaitham playfully retaliated during tickle fights, and those triumphant moments when Kaveh would win. Not to mention the playful and affectionate tickles when they were in bed... He blushed and mumbled something.

"What did you say?" Alhaitham asked.

"Of all the nonsense on that stinking contract, can you at least revoke that one particular rule? It sucks."

"...7.2.1? The one that forbids me from tickling you ever outside our once-a-week session?" Al-Bastard-Haitham asked.

"...Yes."

Kaveh could die from embarrassment, but luckily the only response from Alhaitham was: "Alright. I think I could do that."

Then in that exact same position, Kaveh fell asleep, resting comfortably on Alhaitham and trapping him on the couch.

Not that Alhaitham complained. He had his book nearby, as always, so he grabbed it and started to read, while his free hand fondly stroked Kaveh's hair. Now that felt actually really good.

Note: This fic was loosely inspired by the movie Wonka.

#genshin impact #kavetham #tickling #tickle fic #otomiya!writes #kaveh #alhaitham #sezzie sama #pos #lee!kaveh #ler!alhaitham

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selysie · 1 month ago

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small appreciation post for my fav blogs, mutuals + girlfriend/wife because they deserve it ,, and it's almost the end of 2024 !! so why not i spread some kindess and appreciation before the year ends ? <3 /silly /pos

( mwy wifey :3 ) @dwollies♡ — KOKO／AELIAAA SWEETHEARTTT !!! AKA MY LOVE ,, DARLING ,, MY EVERYTHING ,, MY SWEETIE ,, AND DEAREST WIFEY !! 💗 THE FIRST PERSON WHO KNEW ABOUT MY EDITING BLOG JOURNEY, AKA MY DARLING WIFEY !! geniuely i am so grateful for everything you did tbh,, im soo in love with yew... /aff /pos /srs /silly ,,, you are the main reason why i started editing and have started an editing blog ,, you've inspired me start editing because i fell in love w your graphics ( + you <3 /srs ) ,, you have been there w me since the start of my editing blog journey, you were right by my side supporting me and encourged me to do the stuff that i like doing .. and I can't believe that you're also my girlfriend !! /pos /aff you are the prettiest ,, sweetest ,, kindest ,, coolest and most talented girl ever !! ( do not deny because this is an appreciation post ,, and this is especially made for you cause i love you a lot and the most /srs ) !!! .. (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) && there's so much words i wanna say but i can't describe it :(( ,, but i just wanna say you're the sweetest and most talented girl ever, im very grateful that I've met you and you definitely made my days better everyday !! >-< 💗💗 even including the small talks, I'm very grateful.. I'll never stop falling in love with you and you are my most beloved person I'll ever cherish and love the most, i love you so much wifeyy <33 mwah 💗 I LUV YOU SO MUCH ONCE AGAIN AYYAYAHAHAJ >:3c + ganqing is us irl .. /pos /aff /silly YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING AND EVERY GOOD THING IN EXISTENCE >:3 /srs also js wanted yew to know that I'll always be there for you, every single moment and I'll listen to you yap /srs. I'll stay anytime and wait for you :3 !!! and I am your #1 fan , supporter hehe... /srs i love u so much geniuely, and you are the reason why I'm still here atp cus you are the most supportive person ever.. Ilysm wifey. 🫶🏻

@saeriji — AAA SAE !! you've been there since i have started my editing journey here ,, one of the first people I've ever interacted with !! you are one of my inspirations ever since I've started ,, your edits + your editing style is gorgeous (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) although it has been a while we have interacted /nbr ,, i am still very grateful that we chat sometimes even though it's not much!! + i'm very happy to see that you're doing well and glad to see your back,, im looking forward to see the stuff that you will be posting on your blog :3c !! very grateful for every interaction we had ,, even the ones from the start !! ^_^ 💗

@frilliette — AELIUS ( if you preferred to be called that too ) !! one of my biggest inspirations and you are one of the few people who inspired me to have my own editblr blog ,, and also one of the few people who ive interacted since the starting of my editing blog journey :3c !!! your graphics are very eye - candy & your work is just perfect and beautiful !! 🫶🏻🫶🏻 , we don't interact much but even a few chats or silly asks here will make my day !! /srs ,, i'm even very happy that were mutuals because you were one of my biggest inspirations ever !!

@smilepilled — MARYCIE OOMPHHH,, HIIII :3c !! one of the people who ive also interacted with since the start of my editing journey.. must say, you are one of the coolest people that I'VE EVER MET !!! geniuely when we first interacted,, i thought you were very awesome tbh /srs !! and guess what, I WAS RIGHT !! you r one of the kindest people here on tumblr:3 and ive recently seen the flags you posted on your blog, i really have to say that YOUR WORK ARE SO PRETTY!! :< and we rarely interact but it's okay! I'm still very grateful for our silly interactions we have together:3 /p /silly ,, im looking forward to interact more ( if i am not scared of socializing and reaching out first sighs ) ,, anyways js wanna say that stay pawsome and ur rlly cool too :3c

@nomkiwi — KIWIIIIIII OOMFIEEE :33 ONE OF MY BIGGEST INSPIRATIONS ,, ONE OF THE PPL WHO WAS THERE SINCE THE START OF MY EDITING JOURNEY:33 AAAAHQHWHWNWM I JS WANNA SAY I LOVE YOUR WORKS SM AND YOU'RE VERY TALENTED:33!! since the beginning I've always thought you were very cool and kind, and I wanted to make cool edits like how you did!! ^_^ i am very happy that we are interacting more often ,, each conversation we hv makes me vv happy :3c PLUS IM HOPING WE WILL INTERACT MORE OFTEN !!! >:33

@ukioshi0 — VUEEE VUEFART CHESTNUT TARTS OOMFIEIWI BFF AHJWMQKQKQL !!!1!!11!!2 we almost known each other for 2 years now and you are one of the coolest and best people I've ever met >:3c tbh your work inspired me to make my own headers but prettier like yours (your headers is better:3) hehwhw... HOPING WE R STILL BFFS NEXT YEAR AND YAYAYAYAYQ 🤑🤑🤑!!!!!!1! very grateful that we are bffs althoufh we dont talk in dms much in disoord but iys still fine !!!! im glad we still interact:3

@fartpoo1929392 — ugly kid hello 🤑🤑 one kf the best peowlle ive met btw im very happy that we are still bffs and we almost knowj each toher for 2 years now :3c you will always remian to be rhe noob who sings mango phonk whenever we vc /pos🥭🥭

@mizuki-irl — ONE OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER TALKED TOO HERE!! and I'm very grateful for our interactions we have:3

@f4t4l1ty — OOMF!! you are one of the sweetest people I've ever met this year! a very kind yet funny person to talk too , very hyped up whenever we interact with each other

@terrminal / @emoticonnie — OKAY YOU GOTTA BE ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET THIS YEAR... YOU'RE A VERY GOOD PERSON TO TALK TOO:3!! /srs and your edits are mad underrated..

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taylor-on-your-dash · 4 months ago

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WRITING OF FOLKLORE & EVERMORE TIMELINE

“I used to put all these parameters on myself like, ‘How will this song sound in a stadium? How will this song sound on radio?’ If you take away all the parameters, what do you make? And I guess the answer is... folklore.”

December 18, 2019: Taylor records my tears ricochet. On folklore: long pond sessions, she confirms that my tears ricochet was the first song written for TS8 and she knew right away that it would take the 5th spot on the track list.

“I found myself being very triggered by any stories, movies, or narratives revolving around divorce, which felt weird because I haven't experienced it directly. There's no reason it should cause me so much pain, but all of a sudden it felt like something I had been through. I think that happens any time you've been in a 15-year relationship and it ends in a messy, upsetting way. So I wrote "My Tears Ricochet" and I was using a lot of imagery that I had conjured up while comparing a relationship ending to when people end an actual marriage. All of a sudden this person that you trusted more than anyone in the world is the person that can hurt you the worst. Then all of a sudden the things that you have been through together, hurt. All of a sudden, the person who was your best friend is now your biggest nemesis, etc. etc. etc. I think I wrote some of the first lyrics to that song after watching Marriage Story and hearing about when marriages go wrong and end in such a catastrophic way. So these songs are in some ways imaginary, in some ways not, and in some ways both. It’s definitely one of the saddest songs on the album. Picking a ‘Track Five’ is sort of a pressurized decision but I knew from day one this was probably going to be it. It’s a song about karma, about greed, about how somebody could be your best friend and your companion and your most trusted person in your life and then they could go and become your worst enemy who knows how to hurt you because they were once your most trusted person. Writing this song, it kind of occurred to me that in all of the superhero stories the hero’s greatest nemesis is the villain that used to be his best friend. When you think about that, you think about how there’s this beautiful moment in the beginning of a friendship where these people have no idea that one day, they’ll hate each other and try to take each other out. I mean, that’s really sad and terrible.”

March 5-12, 2020: Band rehearsals for Lover Fest. The band rehearsed 32 songs and Taylor sings on a few.

March 11, 2020: Taylor lands in LA. She'll stay there for the whole lockdown until May 22nd.

March 19, 2020: The state of California issue a stay-at-home order. The lockdown starts. During the Eras Tour, Taylor says that she started writing songs with Jack soon after. It's possible that illicit affairs and august were two of the first songs, as Taylor confirmed that august was the first song she wrote for the Love Triangle. This first version of august doesn't include the bridge.

[Taylor about illicit affairs] This was the first album that I’ve ever let go of that need to be 100 percent autobiographical because I think I needed to do that. I felt like fans needed to hear a 'stripped from the headlines' account of my life and it actually ended up being a bit confining. Because there’s so much more to writing songs than just what you’re feeling and your singular storyline. And I think this was spurred on by the fact that I was watching movies every day, I was reading books every day, I was thinking about other people every day. I was kind of outside my own, personal stuff. I think that’s been my favorite thing about this album: that it’s allowed to exist on its own merit without it just being, ‘Oh, people are listening to this because it tells them something that they could read in a tabloid’. It feels like a completely different experience.

[Taylor about august] In my head, I’ve been calling the girl from ‘august’ either Augusta or Augustine. What happened in my head was: ‘cardigan’ is Betty’s perspective from 20 or 30 years later, looking back on this love that was this tumultuous thing. I think Betty and James ended up together. So in my head, she ends up with him but he really put her through it. ‘august’ was obviously about the girl that James had this summer with. She seems like she’s a bad girl, but really she’s not. She’s a really sensitive person who fell for him and she was trying to seem cool and like she didn’t care because that’s what girls have to do. And she was trying to let him think that she didn’t care, but she did and she thought they had something very real. And then he goes back to Betty. So the idea that there is some bad, villain girl in any type of situation who ‘takes your man’ is a total myth because that’s not usually the case at all. Everybody has feelings and wants to be seen and loved. And Augustine…that’s all she wanted.

[Taylor] I was really excited about "August slipped away into a moment of time/August sipped away like a bottle of wine." That was a song where Jack sent me the instrumental and I wrote the song pretty much on the spot; it just was an intuitive thing. And that was actually the first song that I wrote of the "Betty" triangle. So the Betty songs are "August," "Cardigan," and "Betty." "August" was actually the first one, which is strange because it's the song from the other girl's perspective. It would be safe to assume that "Cardigan" would be first, but it wasn't. It was very strange how it happened, but it kind of pieced together one song at a time, starting with "August," where I kind of wanted to explore the element of This is from the perspective of a girl who was having her first brush with love. And then all of a sudden she's treated like she's the other girl, because there was another situation that had already been in place, but "August" girl thought she was really falling in love. It kind of explores the idea of the undefined relationship. As humans, we're all encouraged to just be cool and just let it happen, and don't ask what the relationship is—Are we exclusive? But if you are chill about it, especially when you're young, you learn the very hard lesson that if you don't define something, oftentimes they can gaslight you into thinking it was nothing at all, and that it never happened. And how do you mourn the loss of something once it ends, if you're being made to believe that it never happened at all?

Taylor had previously written down the phrase ‘Meet me behind the mall’ in her phone years ago, wanting to write it into a song.

April 17, 2020: Lover Fest is cancelled. Taylor writes mirrorball and this is me trying shortly after.

MIRRORBALL

On folklore there are a lot of songs that reference each other or have lyrical parallels and one of the ones that I like is the entire song 'this is me trying' then being referenced again in ‘mirrorball,’ which is, ‘I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try’. Sometimes when I’m writing to an instrumental track I’ll push ‘Play’ and I’ll immediately see a scene set and this was one of those cases. I just saw a lonely disco ball, twinkly lights, neon signs, people drinking beer by the bar, a couple of stragglers on the dance floor. Sort of a sad, moonlit, lonely experience in the middle of a town you’ve never been. I was just thinking that we have mirrorballs in the middle of a dance floor because they reflect light, they are broken a million times and that’s what makes them so shiny. We have people like that in society, too. They hang there and every time they break it entertains us. And when you shine a light on them it’s this glittering, fantastic thing. But then, a lot of the time when the spotlight isn’t on them they’re just still there, up on that pedestal but no one is watching them. It was a metaphor for celebrity but it’s also a metaphor for so many people. Everybody has to feel like they have to be ‘on’ for certain people. You have to be different versions of yourself for different people. Different versions at work, different versions around friends. Different versions of yourself around different friends. A different version of yourself around family. Everybody feels that they have to be in some ways duplicitous and that’s part of the human experience. But it’s also exhausting. And you learn that every one of us has the ability to become a shapeshifter. But what does that do to us?

THIS IS ME TRYING

“I’ve been thinking about people who are either suffering through mental illness, addiction or who have an everyday struggle. No one pats them on the back every day but every day they are actively fighting something. There are so many days that nobody gives them credit for that and so, how often must somebody who’s in that sort of internal struggle wanna say to everyone in the room: ‘You have no idea how close I am to going back to a dark place.’ I had this idea that the first verse would be about someone who is in a life crisis and has just been trying and failing in their relationship, has been messing things up with people they love, has been letting everyone down and has driven to this overlook, this cliff, and is just in the car, going, ‘I could do whatever I want in this moment and it could affect everything forever.’ But this person backs up and drives home. The second verse is about someone who felt like they had a lot of potential in their life. I feel like there are a lot of mechanisms for us in our school days, in high school or college, to excel and to be patted on the back for something. And then a lot of people get out of school and there are less abilities for them to get gold stars. Then you have to make all these decisions and you have to pave your own way. There’s no set class course you can take. I think a lot of people feel really swept up in that. And so I was thinking about this person who is really lost in life and then starts drinking…and every second is trying not to.”

March/April 2020: the lakes was also done remotely, but written before Taylor started collaborating with Aaron, placing it between March and April 2020:

[Taylor] “We’d gone to the Lake District in England a couple years ago. In the 19th century you had a lot of poets like William Wordsworth and John Keats who’d spend a lot of time there. And there was a poet district, these artists that moved there. They were heckled for it and made fun of for being these eccentrics and kind of odd artists who decided that they just wanted to live there. I remember thinking, ‘I could see this.’ You live in a cottage and you got wisteria growing up the outside of it…of course they escaped like that. And they had their own community of other artists who’d done the same thing. I’ve always, in my career since I was probably about twenty, written about this cottage backup plan that I have. I have been writing about that forever. I went to William Wordsworth’s grave and just sat there and I was like, ‘Wow. He went and did it.’ And you kept writing but you didn’t subscribe to the things that were killing you. And that’s really the overarching thing that I felt when I was writing folklore: I may not be able to go to The Lakes right now – or to go anywhere – but I’m going there in my head. The escape plan is working.”

[Jack] On one of my favorite songs on folklore, “The Lakes,” there was this big orchestral version, and Taylor was like, “Eh, make it small.” I had gotten lost in the string arrangements and all this stuff, and I took everything out. I was just like, “Oh, my God!” We were not together because that record was made [remotely], but I remember being in the studio alone like, “Holy shit, this is so perfect.”

This version of the lakes was released on folklore's first anniversary.

April 24, 2020: For his birthday, Aaron Dessner goes on an Instagram Live where he plays a bunch of songs including “Gaite” aka “happiness” and “Stella”, like his daughter, aka “invisible string”

April 27-28, 2020: Taylor contacts Aaron Dessner and asks him to work with her. He sends her a folder of instrumental tracks he had recorded over the years. The first one that inspires Taylor is called “Maple” which will become cardigan. She sends back a voice memo, and right after, she posts a selfie on Instagram with the caption “Not a lot going on at the moment”. What a troll.

[Taylor] The song is about a long lost romance, and why young love is often fixed so permanently within our memories. When looking back on it, why it leaves such an incredible mark and how special it made you feel; all the good things it made you feel, all the pain that it made you feel... The line about feeling like you were an old cardigan under someone's bed, but someone put you on and made you feel like you were their favorite.

[Aaron] That’s the first song we wrote. After Taylor asked if I would be interested in writing with her remotely and working on songs, I said, “Are you interested in a certain kind of sound?” She said, “I’m just interested in what you do and what you’re up to. Just send anything, literally anything, it could be the weirdest thing you’ve ever done,” so I sent a folder of stuff I had done that I was really excited about recently. “cardigan” was one of those sketches; it was originally called “Maple.” It was basically exactly what it is on the record, except we added orchestration later that my brother wrote. I sent [the file] at 9 p.m., and around 2 a.m. or something, there was “cardigan,” fully written. That’s when I realized something crazy was happening. She just dialed directly into the heart of the music and wrote an incredible song and fully conceived of it and then kept going. It harkens back to lessons learned, or experiences in your youth, in a really beautiful way and this sense of longing and sadness, but ultimately, it’s cathartic. I thought it was a perfect match for the music, and how her voice feels. It was kind of a guide. It had these lower register parts, and I think we both realized that this was a bit of a lightning rod for a lot of the rest of the record.

[Taylor] “The quality that really confounded me about Aaron’s instrumental tracks is that to me, they were immediately, intensely visual,” Swift wrote in an email. “As soon as I heard the first one, I understood why he calls them ‘sketches.’ The first time I heard the track for ‘Cardigan,’ I saw high heels on cobblestones. I knew it had to be about teenage miscommunications and the loss of what could’ve been. I’ve always been so curious about people with synesthesia, who see colors or shapes when they hear music. The closest thing I’ve ever experienced is seeing an entire story or scene play out in my head when I hear Aaron Dessner’s instrumental tracks.”

Aaron Dessner shared a screenshot from when Taylor sent him back cardigan.

April 29-30, 2020: Taylor writes seven and peace. seven is the only song that was entirely recorded at Long Pond.

SEVEN

[Aaron] This is the second song we wrote. It’s kind of looking back at childhood and those childhood feelings, recounting memories and memorializing them. It’s this beautiful folk song. It has one of the most important lines on the record: “And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on.” That’s what this album is doing. It’s passing down. It’s memorializing love, childhood, and memories. It’s a folkloric way of processing.

PEACE

[Taylor] “I think this is a song that is extremely personal to me. There are times when I feel like with everything that’s in my control, I can make myself seem like someone who doesn’t have an abnormal life and I try that every day. It’s like, 'How do I make my friends, and family, and my loved ones not see this big elephant that’s in the room for our normal life?' Because I don’t want the elephant in the room. If you’re gonna be in my life I feel like there’s a certain amount that comes with it that I can’t stop from happening. I can’t stop from you getting a call in the morning that says, ‘The tabloids are writing this today.’ I can’t help it if there’s a guy with a camera two miles away with a telescope lense taking pictures of you. I can’t stop those things from happening. And so this song was basically like, ‘Is it enough? Is the stuff that I can control enough to block out the things that I can’t?' So it makes me really emotional to hear this song.

[Taylor] To know that a lot of people related to it who aren’t talking about the same things that I’m talking about. They’re talking about human complexity. It’s about someone who you wanna provide with peace, someone you love, so you want them to have as much peace in their life as possible and reconciling the fact that you might not be their best option for that. But is it still a deal they wanna take?

[Taylor to Paul McCartney] peace is actually more rooted in my personal life. I know you have done a really excellent job of this in your personal life: carving out a human life within a public life, and how scary that can be when you do fall in love and you meet someone, especially if you’ve met someone who has a very grounded, normal way of living. I, oftentimes, in my anxieties, can control how I am as a person and how normal I act and rationalize things, but I cannot control if there are 20 photographers outside in the bushes and what they do and if they follow our car and if they interrupt our lives. I can’t control if there’s going to be a fake weird headline about us in the news tomorrow.

[Aaron] “I wrote this, and Justin provided the pulse. We trade ideas all the time and he made a folder, and there was a pulse in there that I wrote these bass lines to. In the other parts of the composition, I did it to Justin’s pulse. Taylor heard this sketch and she wrote the song. It reminds me of Joni Mitchell, in a way — there’s this really powerful and emotional love song, even the impressionistic, almost jazz-like bridge, and she weaves it perfectly together. This is one of my favorites, for sure. But the truth is that the music, that way of playing with harmonized bass lines, is something that probably comes a little bit from me being inspired by how Justin does that sometimes. There’s probably a connection there. We didn’t talk too much about it [laughs]. The song “peace” — when she wrote that, it was just a harmonized bass and a pulse. She wrote this incredible love song to it that’s one vocal take.”

May 2020: Taylor and Aaron spend the entire month writing all the songs on folklore.

EXILE (FT. BON IVER)

Taylor and William Bowery, the singer-songwriter, wrote that song initially together and sent it to me as a sort of a rough demo where Taylor was singing both the male and female parts. It’s supposed to be a dialogue between two lovers. I interpreted that and built the song, played the piano, and built around that template. We recorded Taylor’s vocals with her singing her parts but also the male parts. We talked a lot about who she thought would be perfect to sing, and we kept coming back to Justin [Vernon]. Obviously, he’s a dear friend of mine and collaborator. I said, “Well, if he’s inspired by the song, he’ll do it, and if not, he won’t.” I sent it to him and said, “No pressure at all, literally no pressure, but how do you feel about this?” He said, “Wow.” He wrote some parts into it also, and we went back and forth a little bit, but it felt like an incredibly natural and safe collaboration between friends. It didn’t feel like getting a guest star or whatever. It was just like, well, we’re working on something, and obviously he’s crazy talented, but it just felt right. I think they both put so much raw emotion into it. It’s like a surface bubbling. It’s believable, you know? You believe that they’re having this intense dialogue. With other people I had to be secretive, but with Justin, because he was going to sing, I actually did send him a version of the song with her vocals and told him what I was up to. He was like, “Whoa! Awesome!” But he’s been involved in so many big collaborative things that he wasn’t interested in it from that point of view. It’s more because he loved the song and he thought he could do something with it that would add something.

[Taylor on exile] “Exile was a song that was written about miscommunications in relationships, and in the case of this song I imagine that the miscommunications ended the relationship - that they led to sort of the demise of this love affair. And now these two people are seeing each other out for the first time and they keep miscommunicating with each other, they can’t quite get on the same page, they never were able to. So even in their end, even after they’ve broken up they’re still not hearing each other, so we imagined that the beginning of it would be his side of the story, second verse would be her side of the story, and then the end would be sort of them talking over each other and not listening to the other, sort of like an argument. Yeah, I’m really stoked about how it turned out because it really does seem like this sort of tragedy of two people, two ships passing in the night.”

[Joe Alwyn] Alwyn doesn’t consider himself a musician or songwriter and insists that he is, in fact, an awful singer. He was merely “messing around” on the piano when Swift heard and walked over, intrigued. He had been singing the fully formed first verse to the song that became “Exile.”. “It was completely off the cuff, an accident,” he says, shrugging. “She said, ‘Can we try and sit down and get to the end together?’ And so we did. It was as basic as some people made sourdough.” I’d probably had a drink and was just stumbling around the house. We couldn’t decide on a film to watch that night, and she was like, ‘Do you want to try and finish writing that song you were singing earlier?’ And so we got a guitar and did that. I press him on this point — he wrote an entire verse to a Taylor Swift song without trying? “Who doesn’t walk around the house singing?” he asks. I explain that it’s unusual for hit songs to spring forth like that from non-musicians’ heads. He says he wasn’t trying to write to Swift’s personal sound but had been listening to a lot of the National.

[Aaron] It was Taylor’s idea to approach [Justin Vernon]. I sent him Taylor’s voice memo of her singing both parts, and he got really excited and loved the song and then he wrote the extra part in the bridge.

INVISIBLE STRING

[Taylor] When I first heard the track that [Aaron] sent me I thought, ‘I have to write something that matches it’. And pretty quickly I came upon the idea of fate. ‘Cause sometimes I just go into a rabbit hole of thinking about how things happen and I love the romantic idea that every step you’re taking, you’re taking one step closer to what you’re supposed to be, guided by this little invisible string. I wrote it right after I sent an ex a baby gift and I just remember thinking, 'This is a full signifier that life is great!'

[Aaron] That was another one where it was music that I’d been playing for a couple of months and sort of humming along to her. It felt like one of the songs that pulls you along. Just playing it on one guitar, it has this emotional locomotion in it, a meditative finger-picking pattern that I really gravitate to. It’s played on this rubber bridge that my friend put on [the guitar] and it deadens the strings so that it sounds old. The core of it sounds like a folk song. It’s also kind of a sneaky pop song, because of the beat that comes in. She knew that there was something coming because she said, “You know, I love this and I’m hearing something already.” And then she said, “This will change the story,” this beautiful and direct kind of recounting of a relationship in its origin.

MAD WOMAN

[Taylor] [“mad woman” has] these ominous strings underneath it and I was like, ‘Oh, this is female rage.' And then I was thinking the most rage provoking element of being a female is the gaslighting that happens. For centuries, we were just expected to absorb male behavior silently. And oftentimes, when we – in our enlightened and emboldened state – now respond to bad male behavior or somebody just doing something that’s absolutely out of line and we respond, that response is treated like the offense itself. There’s been situations recently with someone who’s very guilty of this in my life and it’s a person who makes me feel (or tries to make me feel) like I’m the offender by having any kind of defense to his offenses. It’s like I have absolutely no right to respond or I’m crazy. I have no right to respond or I’m angry. I have no right to respond or I’m out of line. So [Aaron] provided the musical bed for me to make that point that I’ve been trying so hard to figure out how to make…How do I say why this feels so bad?

[Aaron] That might be the most scathing song on folklore. It has a darkness that I think is cathartic, sort of witch-hunting and gaslighting and maybe bullying. Sometimes you become the person people try to pin you into a corner to be, which is not really fair. But again, don’t quote me on that [laughs], I just have my own interpretation. It’s one of the biggest releases on the album to me. It has this very sharp tone to it, but sort of in gothic folklore. It’s this record’s goth song.

EPIPHANY

[Taylor] I remember thinking, ‘Maybe I wanna write a sports story.’ Because I had just watched The Last Dance and I was thinking all in terms of sports, and winners, and underdogs. But actually, what I had been doing really frequently up until that point was I had been doing a lot of research on my grandfather who fought in World War II at Guadalcanal, which was an extremely bloody battle. And he never talked about it. Not with his sons, not with his wife. Nobody got to hear about what happened there. So my dad and his brothers did a lot of digging and found out that my granddad was exposed to some of the worst situations you could ever imagine as a human being. So I kind of tried to imagine what would happen in order to make you just never be able to speak about something. And when I was thinking about that I realized that there are people right now taking a twenty minute break in between shifts at a hospital who are having this kind of trauma happen to them right now, that they probably will never wanna speak about. And so I thought that this is an opportunity to maybe tell that story. I often feel that there have been times in my life where things have fallen apart so methodically, and I couldn’t control how things were going wrong, and nothing I did stopped it. I just felt like I’d been pushed out a plane and I was scratching on the air on the way down. I just felt like the universe was doing its thing. It was just dismantling my life and there was nothing I could do. And this is a weird situation where – ever since I started making music with [Aaron] – I felt like that was the universe forcing things to fall into place perfectly and there’s nothing I could do. It’s one of those weird things that makes you think about life a lot. This lockdown could’ve been a time where I absolutely lost my mind and instead I think this album was a real floatation device for both of us.

[Aaron] For epiphany, she did have this idea of a beautiful drone, or a very cinematic sort of widescreen song, where it’s not a lot of accents but more like a sea to bathe in. A stillness, in a sense. I first made this crazy drone which starts the song, and it’s there the whole time. It’s lots of different instruments played and then slowed down and reversed. It created this giant stack of harmony, which is so giant that it was kind of hard to manage, sonically, but it was very beautiful to get lost in. And then I played the piano to it, and it almost felt classical or something, those suspended chords. I think she just heard it, and instantly, this song came to her, which is really an important one. It’s partially the story of her grandfather, who was a soldier, and partially then a story about a nurse in modern times. I don’t know if this is how she did it, but to me, it’s like a nurse, doctor, or medical professional, where med school doesn’t fully prepare you for seeing someone pass away or just the difficult emotional things that you’ll encounter in your job. In the past, heroes were just soldiers. Now they’re also medical professionals. To me, that’s the underlying mission of the song. There are some things that you see that are hard to talk about. You can’t talk about it. You just bear witness to them. But there’s something else incredibly soothing and comforting about this song. To me, it’s this Icelandic kind of feel, almost classical. My brother did really beautiful orchestration of it.

BETTY

[Aaron] This one Taylor and William wrote, and then both Jack and I worked on it. We all kind of passed it around. This is the one where Taylor wanted a reference. She wanted it to have an early Bob Dylan, sort of a Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan feel. We pushed it a little more towards John Wesley Harding, since it has some drums. It’s this epic narrative folk song where it tells us a long story and connects back to “cardigan.” It starts to connect dots and I think it’s a beautifully written folk song.

[Taylor] I just heard Joe singing the entire fully formed chorus of ‘betty’ from another room. And I was just like, ‘Hello.’ It was a step that we would never have taken, because why would we have ever written a song together? So this was the first time we had a conversation where I came in and I was like, 'Hey, this could be really weird, and we could hate this, so because we’re in quarantine and there’s nothing else going on, could we just try to see what it’s like if we write this song together?' So he was singing the chorus of it, and I thought it sounded really good from a man’s voice, from a masculine perspective. And I really liked that it seemed to be an apology. I’ve written so many songs from a female’s perspective of wanting a male apology that we decided to make it from a teenage boy’s perspective apologizing after he loses the love of his life because he’s been foolish.

[James] has lost the love of his life basically and doesn't understand how to get it back. I think we all have these situations in our lives where we learn to really, really give a heartfelt apology for the first time. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody really messes up sometimes and this is a song that I wrote from the perspective of a 17-year-old boy. I've always loved that in music you can kinda slip into different identities and you can sing from other people's perspectives. So that's what I did on this one," the superstar explained of the song's premise, before revealing, "I named all the characters in this story after my friends' kids... and I hope you like it!

[Joe Alwyn] I’d probably had a drink and was just stumbling around the house. We couldn’t decide on a film to watch that night, and she was like, ‘Do you want to try and finish writing that song you were singing earlier?’ And so we got a guitar and did that.” Initially, Alwyn didn’t want his name credited, anticipating that what he describes as the “clickbait conversation” would distract people from actually listening to the music. So he went by William Bowery as a nod to his music-composer great-grandfather and the Manhattan street.

[Taylor] With ‘betty,’ Jack Antonoff would text me these articles and think pieces and in-depth Tumblr posts on what this love triangle meant to the person who had listened to it. And that’s exactly what I was hoping would happen with this album. I wrote these stories for a specific reason and from a specific place about specific people that I imagined, but I wanted that to all change given who was listening to it. And I wanted it to start out as mine and become other people’s. It’s been really fun to watch.

THE LAST GREAT AMERICAN DYNASTY

[Taylor] When [Aaron] sent me the track to ‘the last great american dynasty’ I had been wanting to write a song about Rebekah Harkness since 2013, probably. I’d never figured out the right way to do it because there was never a track that felt like it could hold an entire story of somebody’s life and moving between generations. When I heard that [the track] I was like, ‘Oh my God, I think this is my opening. I think this is my moment. I think I can write the Rebekah Harkness story!' It has that country music narrative device.”

[Aaron] I wrote that after we’d been working for a while. It was an attempt to write something attractive, more uptempo and kind of pushing. I also was interested in this almost In Rainbows-style latticework of electric guitars. They come in and sort of pull you along, kind of reminiscent of Big Red Machine. It was very much in this sound world that I’ve been playing around with, and she immediately clicked with that. Initially I was imagining these dreamlike distant electric guitars and electronics but with an element of folk. There’s a lot going on in that sense. I sent it before I went on a run, and when I got back from the run, that song was there [laughs].She told me the story behind it, which sort of recounts the narrative of Rebekah Harkness, whom people actually called Betty. She was married to the heir of Standard Oil fortune, married into the Harkness family, and they bought this house in Rhode Island up on a cliff. It’s kind of the story of this woman and the outrageous parties she threw. She was infamous for not fitting in, entirely, in society; that story, at the end, becomes personal. Eventually, Taylor bought that house. I think that is symptomatic of folklore, this type of narrative song. We didn’t do very much to that either.

[Taylor] “Anyone who's been there before knows that I do 'The Tour,' where I show everyone through the house. And I tell them different anecdotes about each room, because I've done that much research on this house and this woman. So in every single room, there's a different anecdote about Rebekah Harkness. If you have a mixed group of people who've been there before and people who haven't, [the people who’ve been there] are like, "Oh, she's going to do the tour. She's got to tell you the story about how the ballerinas used to practice on the lawn.” And they'll go get a drink and skip it because it's the same every time. But for me, I'm telling the story with the same electric enthusiasm, because it's just endlessly entertaining to me that this fabulous woman lived there. She just did whatever she wanted.”

Dessner and Swift were working intensively and at high speed throughout 2020, so much so that on one occasion the producer sent the singer a track and went out for a run in the countryside around Long Pond. By the time he got back, Swift had already written ‘the last great american dynasty’ and it was waiting for him in his inbox.

Late May/Early June 2020: Taylor sends Aaron the last two folklore songs, the 1 and hoax.

[Aaron] “the 1” and “hoax,” the first song and the last song, were the last songs we did. The album was sort of finished before that. We thought it was complete, but Taylor then went back into the folder of ideas that I had shared. I think in a way, she didn’t realize she was writing for this album or a future something. She wrote “the 1,” and then she wrote “hoax” a couple of hours later and sent them in the middle of the night. When I woke up in the morning, I wrote her before she woke up in LA and said, “These have to be on the record.” She woke up and said, “I agree” [laughs]. These are the bookends, you know?It’s clear that “the 1” is not written from her perspective. It’s written from another friend’s perspective. There’s an emotional wryness and rawness, while also to this kind of wink in her eyes. There’s a little bit of her sense of humor in there, in addition to this kind of sadness that exists both underneath and on the surface. I enjoy that about her writing. The song [began from] the voice memo she sent me, and then I worked on the music some and we tracked her vocals, and then my brother added orchestration. There are a few other little bits, but basically that was one of the very last things we did. [Hoax] is a big departure. I think she said to me, “Don’t try to give it any other space other than what feels natural to you.” If you leave me in a room with a piano, I might play something like this. I take a lot of comfort in this. I think I imagined her playing this and singing it. After writing all these songs, this one felt the most emotional and, in a way, the rawest. It is one of my favorites. There’s sadness, but it’s a kind of hopeful sadness. It’s a recognition that you take on the burden of your partners, your loved ones, and their ups and downs. That’s both “peace” and “hoax” to me. That’s part of how I feel about those songs because I think that’s life. There’s a reality, the gravity or an understanding of the human condition.

[Taylor on the 1] I think, ‘I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit, been saying 'Yes' instead of 'No’ has a double meaning. Opening the album with that line applies to the situation that this song is written about where you’re updating a former lover on what your life is like now and trying to be positive about it. But it was also about where I am creatively. I’m just saying ‘Yes’, I’m just putting out an album in the worst time you could put one out, I’m just making stuff with someone who I’ve always wanted to make stuff with, as long as I’ve been a fan of The National. I’m just going to say 'Yes’ to stuff and it worked out.

[Taylor on hoax] The word ‘hoax’ is another one that I love. I love that is has an ‘x’ and the way it looks and sounds. I think with this song being the last one on the album it kind of embodied all the things that this album was thematically: confessions, incorporating nature, emotional volatility and ambiguity at the same time, love that isn’t just easy. And it’s the most symbolic and poetic thing, listing all these things that this person is to you. That line, ‘You know it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart’ – anyone in my life knows what I’m singing about there but everybody has that situation in their life where you let someone in and they get to know you and they know exactly what buttons to push to hurt you the most. That thing where the scars healed over but there’s still phantom pain. I think the part that sounds like love to me is, ‘Don’t want no other shade of blue but you. No other sadness in the world would do.’ To me that sounds like what love really is. Who would you be sad with? And who would you deal with when they were sad? And like, gray skies every day for months, would you still stay?

[Aaron] We didn’t talk about [the meaning of the album] at first. It was only after writing six or seven songs, basically when I thought my writing was done, when we got on the phone and said, “OK, I think we’re making an album. I have these six other ideas that I love with Jack [Antonoff] that we’ve already done, and I think what we’ve done fits really well with them.” It’s sort of these narratives, these folkloric songs, with characters that interweave and are written from different perspectives. She had a vision, and it was connecting back in some way to the folk tradition, but obviously not entirely sonically. It’s more about the narrative aspect of it. I think it’s this sort of nostalgia and wistfulness that is in a lot of the songs. A lot of them have this kind of longing for looking back on things that have happened in your life, in your friend’s life, or another loved one’s life, and the kind of storytelling around that. That was clear to her. But then we kept going, and more and more songs happened. It was a very organic process where [meaning] wasn’t something that we really discussed. It just kind of would happen where she would dive back into the folder and find other things that were inspiring. Or she and William Bowery would write “exile,” and then that happened. There were different stages of the process.

May 21, 2020: As stated in the folklore: long pond sessions, Taylor started recording the vocals on this day. She also finishes august while in the vocal booth.

[Taylor] In my head, I’ve been calling the girl from ‘august’ either Augusta or Augustine. What happened in my head was: ‘cardigan’ is Betty’s perspective from 20 or 30 years later, looking back on this love that was this tumultuous thing. I think Betty and James ended up together. So in my head, she ends up with him but he really put her through it. ‘august’ was obviously about the girl that James had this summer with. She seems like she’s a bad girl, but really she’s not. She’s a really sensitive person who fell for him and she was trying to seem cool and like she didn’t care because that’s what girls have to do. And she was trying to let him think that she didn’t care, but she did and she thought they had something very real. And then he goes back to Betty. So the idea that there is some bad, villain girl in any type of situation who ‘takes your man’ is a total myth because that’s not usually the case at all. Everybody has feelings and wants to be seen and loved. And Augustine…that’s all she wanted.

She previously had written down the phrase ‘Meet me behind the mall’ in her phone years ago, wanting to write it into a song.

May 22-June 5, 2020: Taylor leaves LA and goes to Upstate New York to touch up some vocals (Betty), and shooting the photoshoot at Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds' house. She also records Carolina at Long Pond. The song was recorded in one take using only instruments available before 1953.

[EW Interview] “I had this idea for the [Folklore album cover] that it would be this girl sleepwalking through the forest in a nightgown in 1830 [laughs]. Very specific. A pioneer woman sleepwalking at night. I made a mood board and sent it to Beth [Garrabrant], who I had never worked with before, who shoots only on film. We were just carrying bags across a field and putting the bags of film down, and then taking pictures. It was a blast. I'd done my hair and makeup and brought some nightgowns. These experiences I was used to having with 100 people on set, commanding alongside other people in a very committee fashion — all of a sudden it was me and a photographer, or me and my DP. It was a new challenge, because I love collaboration. But there's something really fun about knowing what you can do if it's just you doing it.”

[About Carolina] About a year & half ago I wrote a song about the story of a girl who always lived on the outside, looking in. Figuratively & literally. The juxtaposition of her loneliness & independence. Her curiosity & fear all tangled up. Her persisting gentleness & the world’s betrayal of it. I wrote this one alone in the middle of the night and then Aaron Dessner and I meticulously worked on a sound that we felt would be authentic to the moment when this story takes place. I made a wish that one day you would hear it. here The Crawdads Sing is a book I got absolutely lost in when I read it years ago. As soon as I heard there was a film in the works starring the incredible Daisy Edgar-Jones and produced by the brilliant Reese Witherspoon, I knew I wanted to be a part of it from the musical side. I wrote the song “Carolina” alone and asked my friend Aaron Dessner to produce it. I wanted to create something haunting and ethereal to match this mesmerizing story.

June 5, 2020: The Inner Circle posts the Oxford definition of the word folklore: “The traditional beliefs, customs, and stories of a community, passed through the generations by word of mouth.” adding “Taylor, your secret is safe with us.” later that day.

June 16, 2020: The Inner Circle posts the Oxford definition of the word cardigan: “A knitted sweater fastening down the front, typically with long sleeves. (Taylor, your secret remains safe with us. Here at the IC we are anxiously awaiting your big reveal)”

June-July 2020: During June and possibly early July, Aaron and Jon Low mix and master the album. It's a complicated process.

[Aaron] If there was trouble it started to be because of track counts. I probably only used 20 percent of what was actually recorded, ’cause we would try a lot of things, y’know. So, eventually the sessions got kinda crazy and you’d have to deactivate a lot of things and print things. But we got used to that. [...] I think the main thing was I wanted her vocals to have a more full range than maybe you typically hear, because I think a lot of the more pop oriented records are mixed a certain way and they take some of the warmth out of the vocal, so that it’s very bright and it kinda cuts really well on the radio. But she has this wonderful lower warmth frequency in her voice which is particularly important on a song like ‘seven’. If you carved out that mud, y’know, it wouldn’t hit you the same way. Or, like, ‘cardigan’, I think it needs that warmth, the kind of fuller feeling to it. It makes it darker, but to me that’s where a lot of emotion is.

[Aaron on the mixing process] In some instances, the final mix ended up being the never bettered rough mix, while other songs took far more work. “‘cardigan’ is basically the rough, as is ‘seven’. So, like the early, early mixes, when we didn’t even know we were mixing, we never were able to make it better. Like if you make it sound ‘good’, it might not be as good ’cause it loses some of its weird magic, y’know. But songs like ‘the last great american dynasty’ or ‘mad woman’, those songs were a little harder to create the dynamics the way you want them, and the pay off without going too far, and with also just keeping in the kind of aesthetic that we were in. Those were harder, I would say.

[Mixer Jon Low] In the beginning it did not feel real,” recalls Low. “There was this brand new collaboration, and it was amazing how quickly Aaron made these instrumental sketches and Taylor wrote lyrics and melodies to them, which she initially sent to us as iPhone voice memos. During our nightly family dinners in lockdown, Aaron would regularly pull up his phone and say, ‘Listen to this!’ and there would be another voice memo from Taylor with this beautiful song that she had written over a sketch of Aaron’s in a matter of hours. The rate at which it was happening was mind blowing. There was constant elevation, inspiration and just wanting to continue the momentum. “We put her voice memos straight into Pro Tools. They had tons of character, because of the weird phone compression and cutting midrange quality you just would not get when you put someone in front of a pristine recording chain. Plus there was all this bleed. It’s interesting how that dictates the attitude of the vocal and of the song. Even though none of the original voice memos ended up on the albums, they often gave us unexpected hints. These voice memos were such on a whim things, they were really telling. Taylor had certain phrasings and inflections that we often returned to later on. They became our reference points. “Taylor’s voice memos often came with suggestions for how to edit the sketches: maybe throw in a bridge somewhere, shorten a section, change the chords or arrangement somewhere, and so on. Aaron would have similar ideas, and he then developed the arrangements, often with his brother Bryce, adding or replacing instruments. This happened fast, and became very interactive between us and Taylor, even though we were working remotely. When we added instruments, we were reacting to the way my rough mixes felt at the very beginning. Of course, it was also dictated by how Taylor wrote and sang to the tracks.”

[Jon Low on the mixing process] Throughout the entire process we were trying to maintain the original feel. Sometimes this was hard, because that initial rawness would get lost in large arrangements and additional layering. With revisions of folklore in particular we sometimes were losing the emotional weight from earlier more casual mixes. Because I was always mixing, there was also always the danger of over mixing. “We were trying to get the best of each mix version, and sometimes that meant stepping backwards, and grabbing a piano chain from an earlier mix, or going three versions back to before we added orchestration. There were definitely moments of thinking, ‘Is this going to compete sonically? Is this loud enough?’ We knew we loved the way the songs sounded as we were building them, so we stuck with what we knew. There were times where I tried to keep pushing a mix forward but it didn’t improve the song — ‘cardigan’ is an example of a song where we ended up choosing a very early mix.

Fun fact, the released version of exile is the 41st mix. I can't link you a source, you just have to trust me on this one.

July 2020: While folklore is being finished, Taylor continues to write songs. The first two songs, that at first seem like Big Red Machine songs, are dorothea and closure.

[Aaron] A lot more of [evermore] was made from scratch. After Folklore came out, I think Taylor had written two songs early on that we both thought were for Big Red Machine, “Closure” and “Dorothea.” But the more I listened to them, not that they couldn’t be Big Red Machine songs, but they felt like interesting, exciting Taylor songs. “Closure” is very experimental and in this weird time signature, but still lyrically felt like some evolution of Folklore, and “Dorothea” definitely felt like it was reflecting on some character.

[Aaron on closure] Vernon provided the grainy beat that kicks off ‘closure’, one of two tracks on evermore that started life as a sketch for the second Big Red Machine album. “It was this little loop that Justin had given me in this folder of ‘Starters’, he calls them. I had heard that and been playing the piano to it. But I was hearing it in 5/4, although it’s not in 5/4. ‘Closure’ really opened everything up further. There were no real limits to where we were gonna try to write songs.”

In the Billboard interview above, Aaron says he thinks that Taylor wrote them after folklore was released, while in the Rolling Stone one he says they were written while finishing up the folklore mixes.

“I think I’d written around 30 of those songs in total,” Dessner recalls. “So when I started sharing them with Taylor over the months that we were working on Folklore, she got really into it, and she wrote two songs to some of that music.” One was “Closure,” an experimental electronic track in 5/4 time signature that was built over a staccato drum kit. The other song was “Dorothea,” a rollicking, Americana piano tune. The more Dessner listened to them, the more he realized that they were continuations of Folklore‘s characters and stories. But the real turning point came soon after Folklore‘s surprise release in late July, when Dessner wrote a musical sketch and named it “Westerly,” after the town in Rhode Island where Swift owns the house previously owned by Rebekah Harkness.

Dorothea is the only evermore song to have been recorded at Taylor's home studio in LA, she left LA 3 days after the release of folklore so Occam's razor, I'm guessing that the RS interview is the correct one and dorothea and closure were written in late June/early July, while the Folklorians were finishing up the album.

July 24, 2020: folklore is released, after being announced the day before.

August 6-18, 2020: To celebrate how well folklore was received, Aaron composes an instrumental track called Westerly, named after the town in Rhode Island where Taylor owns Holiday House. Taylor writes willow on it, then sends a voice memo to Aaron.

[Voice Memo] “Here's the Westerly one, written in Westerly!”

[Aaron] And I, sort of in celebration of Folklore, had written a piece of music that I titled “Westerly,” that’s where she has the house that she wrote “Last Great American Dynasty” about. I’ll do that sometimes, just make things for friends or write music just to write it, but I didn’t at all think it would become a song. And she, like an hour later, sent back “Willow” written to that song, and that sort of set [things in motion] and we just started filling this Dropbox again. It was kind of like, “What’s happening?”

There are so many stories I could share. When I sent Taylor the music for our song 'willow' — I think she wrote the entire song from start to finish in less than 10 minutes and sent it back to me. It was like an earthquake. Then Taylor said, 'I guess we are making another album.'

I liked opening the album with ['willow'] because I loved the feeling that I got, immediately upon hearing the instrumental that Aaron created for it. It felt strangely witchy, like somebody making a love potion, dreaming up the person that they want and desire, and trying to figure out how to get that person in their life. And all the misdirection, and bait and switch, and complexity that goes into seeing someone, feeling a connection, wanting them, and trying to make them a part of your life. It’s tactical at times, it’s confusing at times, it’s up to fate, it’s magical. It felt a bit magical and mysterious, which is what I want people to feel going into an album that was a collection of these stories that were going to take them in all kinds of directions. I just wanted to start them off with a setting of the vibe.

August/September 2020: Taylor writes no body, no crime, possibly while in London.

[Taylor] Working with the HAIM sisters on 'no body, no crime' was pretty hilarious because it came about after I wrote a pretty dark murder mystery song and had named the character Este, because she’s the friend I have who would be stoked to be in a song like that. I had finished the song and was nailing down some lyric details and texted her, 'You’re not going to understand this text for a few days but... which chain restaurant do you like best?' and I named a few. She chose Olive Garden and a few days later I sent her the song and asked if they would sing on it. It was an immediate 'YES.'

[Aaron] Taylor wrote that one alone and sent me a voice memo of her playing guitar — she wrote it on this rubber-bridge guitar that I got for her. It’s the same kind I play on “Invisible String.” So she wrote “No Body, No Crime” and sent me a voice memo of it, and then I started building on that. It’s funny, because the music I’ve listened to the most in my life are things that are more like that — roots music, folk music, country music, old-school rock & roll, the Grateful Dead. It’s not really the sound of the National or other things I’ve done, but it feels like a warm blanket. Taylor had specific ideas from the beginning about references and how she wanted it to feel, and that she wanted the Haim sisters to sing on it. We had them record the song with Ariel Reichshaid, they sent that from L.A., and then we put it together when Taylor was here [at Long Pond]. They’re an incredible band, and it was another situation where we were like, “Well, this happened.” It felt like this weird little rock & roll history anecdote.

[Aaron] [We realized evermore was going to end up being another album] after we’d written several songs, seven or eight or nine. Each one would happen, and we would both be in this sort of disbelief of this weird alchemy that we had unleashed. The ideas were coming fast and furiously and were just as compelling as anything on Folklore, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. At some point, Taylor wrote evermore with William Bowery, and then we sent it to Justin, who wrote the bridge, and all of a sudden, that’s when it started to become clear that there was a sister record.

September 16- 23, 2020: Taylor and Jack go to Upstate New York to record the Long Pond Studio Session. She writes 'tis the damn season there on the 17th. Afterwards Taylor stays a few more days to record the bulk of the evermore vocals: willow, champagne problems, gold rush, 'tis the damn season, tolerate it, no body no crime, coney island, ivy, long story short, marjorie, closure, evermore, and it’s time to go.

After the Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions, [Taylor] stayed for quite a while and we recorded a lot. She actually wrote 'tis the damn season when she arrived for the first day of rehearsal. We played all night and drank a lot of wine after the fireside chat — and we were all pretty drunk, to be honest — and then I thought she went to bed. But the next morning, at 9:00 a.m. or something, she showed up and was like, “I have to sing you this song,” and she had written it in the middle of the night. That was definitely another moment [where] my brain exploded, because she sang it to me in my kitchen, and it was just surreal. That music is actually older — it’s something I wrote many years ago, and hid away because I loved it so much. It meant something to me, and it felt like the perfect song finally found it. There was a feeling in it, and she identified that feeling: That feeling of... “The ache in you, put there by the ache in me.” I think everyone can relate to that. It’s one of my favorites.

[Aaron] She stayed after we were done filming and then we recorded a lot. It was crazy because we were getting ready to make that film, but at the same time, these songs were accumulating. And so we thought, “Hmm, I guess we should just stay and work.”

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS

[Taylor] Joe and I really love sad songs. He started that one and came up with the melodic structure of it. I say it was a surprise that we started writing together, but in a way it wasn’t cause we had always bonded over music and had the same musical tastes. He’s always the person who’s showing me songs by artists and then they become my favorite songs. ‘champagne problems’ was one of my favorite bridges to write. I really love a bridge where you tell the full story in the bridge. You really shift gears in that bridge. I’m so excited to one day be in front of a crowd, when they all sing, ‘She would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame she’s fucked in the head’. Cause I know it’s so sad, but it’s those songs like ‘All Too Well’. Performing that song is one of the most joyful experiences I ever go through when I perform live, so when there’s a song like ‘champagne problems’ where you know it’s so sad… I love a sad song, you know?

GOLD RUSH

During the willow live stream premiere, Taylor revealed that “gold rush” is Jack's favourite song and that it takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it.

[Jack] gold rush was a pretty different sound than what was on folklore. Even the movement in the chorus and some of the chord changes, they're very outside of the realm for what we've done together. We have different processes. Sometimes we sit in a room, sometimes she'll send me a song, sometimes I'll send her a track. That was one where I had the track going. And she did the classic thing where you send it to her, and a very short time later, she sent back a voice note with all of these brilliant ideas of what the song is.

'TIS THE DAMN SEASON

[Aaron] '‘tis the damn season' is a really special song to me for a number of reasons. When I wrote the music to it, which was a long time ago, I remember thinking that this is one of my favorite things I’ve ever made, even though it’s an incredibly simple musical sketch. But it has this arc to it, and there’s this simplicity in the minimalism of it, and the kind of drum programming in there, and I always loved the tone of that guitar. When Taylor played the track and sang it to me in my kitchen, that was a highlight of this whole time. That track felt like something I have always loved and could have just stayed music, but instead, someone of her incredible storytelling ability and musical ability took it and made something much greater. And it’s something that we can all relate to. [Note: The instrumental Aaron is talking about is called Ingrid and was written in 2013 when his daughter Ingrid Stella was born. It was released in 2018 on the album Songs Without Words.]

TOLERATE IT

[Taylor] When you watch a film or you read a book and there’s a character that you identify with, most of the time you identify with them because they’re targeting something in you that feels that you’ve been there. That’s why we relate to characters. When I was reading Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier I was thinking, ‘Her husband just tolerates her. She’s doing all these things, trying so hard to impress him and he’s just tolerating her the whole time.’ There was a part of me that could relate to that because at some point in my life I felt that way. So I ended up writing this song ‘tolerate it’ that’s all about trying to love someone who’s ambivalent.

[Aaron] When I wrote the piano track to 'tolerate it,' right before I sent it to her, I thought, 'This song is intense.' It’s in 10/8, which is an odd time signature. And I did think for a second, 'Maybe I shouldn’t send it to her, she won’t be into it.' But I sent it to her, and it conjured a scene in her mind, and she wrote this crushingly beautiful song to it and sent it back. I think I cried when I first heard it. It just felt like the most natural thing, you know? There weren’t limitations to the process. And in these places where we were pushing into more experimental sounds or odd time signatures, that just felt like part of the work.

CONEY ISLAND

[Taylor on coney island] “The story behind writing Coney Island - Aaron Dessner had sent me this track that he had created with his brother Bryce and I wrote the lyrics and the melody with William Bowery. I think I might have been coming from a place of somebody who’s been in a relationship for decades and wakes up one day and realizes that they have taken their partner completely for granted. So whether you wanna look at it from the perspective of somebody who’s in a new relationship or very long-standing relationship, I think it just really speaks to if people are trying to communicate but they’re two ships passing in the night, they’re trying to love each other but their signals are somehow missing each other - I just found that really interesting... and yeah, we’re really proud of this one. There were elements of it that immediately reminded me of Matt Berninger‘s vocal stylings and his writing, and I kind of targeted some of the lyrics of the second verse to sound sort of like what he might do - cause I hoped that he might sing on it. Because, you know, we already had two members of The National on the song, with Aaron and Bryce. So we got our wish and Matt sang on this song. I think he did an amazing job, I’m such a huge fan of the band and I’m really honored this was able to come together with The National.”

[Aaron on coney island] One key track on evermore, ‘coney island’, features all of the members of the National and sees Swift duetting with their singer Matt Berninger. “My brother [Bryce] actually originated that song,” says Aaron Dessner. “I sent him a reference at one point — I can’t remember what it was — and then he was sort of inspired to write that chord progression. Then we worked together to sort of develop it and I wrote a bunch of parts and we structured it. Taylor and William Bowery [the songwriting pseudonym of Swift’s boyfriend, actor Joe Alwyn] wrote ‘coney island’ and she sang a beautiful version. It felt kind of done, actually. But then I think we all collectively thought — Taylor and myself and Bryce — like this was the closest to a National song. Dessner then asked the brothers who make up the National’s rhythm section, drummer Bryan and bassist Scott Devendorf, to play on ‘coney island’. Matt Berninger, as he often does with the band’s own tracks, recorded his vocal at home in Los Angeles. “It was never in the same place, it was done remotely,” says Dessner, “except Bryan was here at Long Pond when he played. It was great to collaborate as a band with Taylor.”

MARJORIE

[Aaron] “Taylor’s family gave us a bunch of recordings of her grandmother,” Dessner explains. “But they were from old, very scratchy, noisy vinyl. So, we had to denoise it all using [iZotope’s] RX and then I went in and I found some parts that I thought might work. I pitch shifted them into the key and then placed them. It took a while to find the right ones, but it’s really beautiful to be able to hear her. It’s just an incredibly special thing, I think.”

EVERMORE

[Taylor] When Joe wrote the piano, I based the vocal melody on the piano, and we sent it to Justin, who then added that bridge. And Joe had written the piano part so that the tempo speeds up, and it changes. The music completely changes to a different tempo in the bridge. And Justin really latched onto that, and just 100% embraced it and wrote this beautiful sort of... The clutter of all your anxieties in your head, and they're all speaking at once. And we got the bridge back, and then I wrote this narrative of, 'When I was shipwrecked, I thought of you.' That sort of thing, where there was this beacon of hope, and then in the end, you realize the pain wouldn't be forever.

IT'S TIME TO GO

[Taylor] it’s time to go is about listening to your gut when it tells you to leave. How you always know before you know, you know?

Aaron Dessner, Jon Low, Stine Dessner and Taylor at Long Pond in September 2020.

October 6, 2020: Taylor and Paul McCartney get to chat for Rolling Stone. Taylor softly references tolerate it, ivy and willow.

Swift: I was reading so much more than I ever did, and watching so many more films. McCartney: What stuff were you reading? Swift: I was reading, you know, books like Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier, which I highly recommend, and books that dealt with times past, a world that doesn’t exist anymore. I was also using words I always wanted to use — kind of bigger, flowerier, prettier words, like “epiphany,” in songs. I always thought, “Well, that’ll never track on pop radio,” but when I was making this record, I thought, “What tracks? Nothing makes sense anymore. If there’s chaos everywhere, why don’t I just use the damn word I want to use in the song?”

October 14, 2020: Jason Treuting records the glockenspiel on willow. (I got this date form the original willow stems)

October 28, 2020: Bryce Devendorf records the percussions on willow. (I got this date form the original willow stems)

October/November 2020: Aaron goes to see Justin Vernon in his home studio in Wisconsin, where they work on the album. Aaron writes the instrumental sketch to right where you left me before going on this trip.

[Aaron] I went to see Justin at one point — that’s the one trip I’ve made — and we worked together at his place on stuff. He plays the drums on “Cowboy Like Me” and “Closure,” and he plays guitar and banjo and sings on “Ivy,” and sings on “Marjorie” and “Evermore.” And then we processed Taylor’s vocals through his Messina chain together. He was really deeply involved in this record, even more so than the last record. He’s always been such a huge help to me, and not just by getting him to play stuff or sing stuff — I can also send him things and get his feedback. We’ve done a ton of work together, but we have different perspectives and different harmonic brains. He obviously has his own studio set up at home, but it was nice to be able to see him and work on this stuff.

November 4, 2020: Taylor shoots the evermore cover, the Red TV cover, and the EW photos.

November 7, 2020: Taylor films the willow music video.

November 20, 2020: Aaron records the bass on willow. (I got this date form the original willow stems)

November 25, 2020: Taylor is at Marcus Mumford's studio called Scarlet Pimpernel to finish evermore. They record vocals for two new songs, happiness and right where you left me, they touch up the vocals for coney island, they record Joe's piano on evermore the song, and Marcus records backing vocals on cowboy like me. She possibly stays more than one day.

Taylor has mentioned that you recorded “Happiness” just a week before the album was released. Was that something you guys wrote, recorded, and produced all at the last minute, or was it something you’d been sitting on for a while before you finally cracked the code? There were two songs like that. One is a bonus track called ��Right Where You Left Me,” and the other one was “Happiness,” which she wrote literally days before we were supposed to master. That’s similar to what happened with Folklore, with “The 1” and “Hoax,” which she wrote days before. We mixed all the tracks here, and it’s a lot to mix 17 songs, it’s like a Herculean task. And it was funny, because I walked into the studio and Jon Low, our engineer here, was mixing and had been working the whole time toward this. And I came in and he’s in the middle of mixing and I was like, “There are two more songs.” And he looked at me like, “…We’re not gonna make it.” Because it does take a lot of time to work out how to finish them. But she sang those remotely. And the music for “Happiness” is something that I had been working on since last year. I had sang a little bit on it, too — I thought it was a Big Red Machine song, but then she loved the instrumental and ended up writing to it. Same with the other one, “Right Where You Left Me” — it was something I had written right before I went to visit Justin, because I thought, “Maybe we’ll make something when we’re together there.” And Taylor had heard that and wrote this amazing song to it. That is a little bit how she works — she writes a lot of songs, and then at the very end she sometimes writes one or two more, and they often are important ones.

[Taylor on cowboy like me] Take yourselves back to 2020, and I put out folklore, and I just kept writing. I thought, 'Let me make a sister album to folklore and call it evermore.' And so I started immediately. Aaron, Jack, and I were just writing remotely. And the challenge at the time was trying to figure out how to record things. Most studios were completely shut down due to Covid, understandably. I could not find a studio, essentially. So Aaron is like, 'Let me call around to see if there is anyone who is cool, and nice, and generous, and might be willing to offer up their home studio, if we do the right amount of testing, we're totally locked down, and quarantined.' And I was like, 'Okay, please, I really hope someone comes through.' And so he calls me ,'I have really really good news. Marcus Mumford said that you could record at his home studio.' So I first of all, I am so excited that he's saving us, because without this trip, we wouldn't have recorded five or six of the songs on evermore, which came from me getting in a car, driving six hours out into the country past thousands of beautiful sheep, to Marcus Mumford's beautiful house where he has a studio. So I got to do this, we get there, and the whole time I'm thinking, 'Okay, wouldn't it be so cool if he would sing on something?' Because I'm such a Mumford & Sons fan. I just think he's brilliant and has one of the most gorgeous voices in the world. So I'm like, 'Will he sing something, please?' But I didn't want to be weird about it, so I'm like, 'I wonder if fate will have him wander into the studio at the right time.' So sure enough, we're recording a song, and he wanders in at the perfect time and just kind of started humming a harmony. And I turned to him as if I hadn't been thinking of it the whole time, and I was like, 'Oh! You sound really good on that harmony! I wonder if you might sing on this song?' And he said, 'Yep, I would love to!' So essentially, because of Marcus Mumford we have a lot of the songs that probably we wouldn't have been able to put out evermore as quickly as we did. And we also have a gorgeous harmony on a song called 'cowboy like me.'

[Aaron] The music for happiness is something that I had been working on since last year. I had sang a little bit on it, too — I thought it was a Big Red Machine song, but then she loved the instrumental and ended up writing to it.

[Taylor] right where you left me is a song about a girl who stayed forever in the exact spot where her heart was broken, completely frozen in time.

Taylor at Scarlet Pimpernel Studios, and a signed sheet with cowboy like me lyrics which Taylor gave to Marcus Mumford.

December 3 & 4, 2020: Aaron works on willow for the final time, recording some synthesizers. (I got this date form the original willow stems)

[Aaron] On evermore, I would say willow was probably the hardest one to finish just because there were so many ways it could’ve gone. Eventually we settled back almost to the point where it began. So, there’s a lot of stuff that was left out of willow, just because the simplicity of the idea I think was in a way the strongest. It almost felt like a dare or something. We were writing, recording and mixing all in one kind of work stream and we went from one record to the other almost immediately. We were just sort off to the races. We didn’t really ever stop since April.

[Low] The final mix stage for evermore was “very short. There was a moment in the final week or so leading up to the release where the songs were developed far enough for me to sit down and try to make something very cohesive and final, finalising vocal volume, overall volume, and the vibe. There’s a point in every mix where the moves get really small. When a volume ride of 0.1dB makes a difference, you’re really close to being done. Earlier on, those little adjustments don’t really matter.

December 11, 2020: evermore is released.

With folklore, one of the main themes throughout that album was ‘conflict resolution’, trying to figure out how to get through something with someone, or making confessions, or trying to tell them something, trying to communicate with them. evermore deals a lot in endings of all sorts, shapes and sizes. All the kinds of ways we can end a relationship, a friendship, something toxic and the pain that goes along with that.

I have no idea what will come next. I have no idea about a lot of things these days and so I've clung to the one thing that keeps me connected to you all. That thing always has and always will be music. And may it continue, evermore.

#so it's up #cannot believe it #there are some quotes i left out bc i don't know where to put them #and i know it's a very dense timeline bc it's two albums #taylor swift #taylor swift timelines #writing of folklore timeline #writing of evermore timeline

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