#this would have IRREPARABLE consequences to the plot of everything

[pebblul]

Okay but we could take this further: a whole AU where everyone’s powers are reversed in some way or another.

A Dazai whose ability actually causes others’ abilities to activate when he touches them. (Forever Human)

An Oda whose ability lets him see seconds into the past rather than the future. (Flawed)

A Yosano whose ability kills perfectly healthy people instead of healing those near death. (Thou Shalt Perish)

A Kenji who is strong naturally but his ability makes him become weak but happy. (Defeated by the Sun)

A Fukuzawa whose ability makes the abilities of those in ranks above him near impossible to control. (No Men Are Equal)

A Chuuya whose gravity manipulation is limited only to putting extreme gravity on things he touches, and instead of corruption he gets purification, which actually restores him and limits his gravity ability, allowing him to use it how he would under normal circumstances. (Upon the Holly Smile)

A Bram who isn’t a vampire and can cure vampires instead of creating them. (Vampiris’nt)

A Fyodor who ACTUALLY FUCKING DIES.

Bsd except Atsushi is a reverse Weretiger aka he is a tiger that can transform into a human.

The Orphanage still ended up with him but treated him like a beast, only letting him out on the full moon.

But human Atsushi is rather unhinged and doesn't human well so feral tiger boy it is.

He's not a rampaging tiger, hes a weirdly very behaved random tiger all things considered. But he's still freaking people out and he's a menace on either form.

Atsushi can hold his human form better with All Men Are Equals. But Dazai will boop him and bam giant white tiger that bonks him on the head.

Akutagawa is just screaming insults at a very bewildered and than pissed off tiger. He's roaring and Akutugawa is screaming and they come to a werid agreement.

Atsushi is still a member of the Agency, tiger or human. He's got a lil badge and everything. Dazai is just like nah its cool guys this is our office tiger.

Cut to him getting bonked on the head, again.

[merthurxxxmerthur]

Thoughts on Snirius

Well, I love this couple so much. I really do. As a toxic couple, the wild one where they're ready to kill each other and then have a week-long sex marathon; or as the most loyal couple in the series, where they understand each other's pain like no one else and find peace in each other and that deep, intense love on the edge of insanity that they both share.

And I mean, like, I know these are fictional characters and I can write or read whatever I want about them.

But I think of them as a doomed couple now. In all the fanfics I've read on Ao3 about them, there are two scenarios: they hate each other but sleep together or they hate each other but go through a long road to a happy life and mutual love. And, you know, I LOVE happy endings. They make me live. But that's not what this is about. What I'm saying is, in all these fanfics (and I'm not blaming the authors for anything, I love them, they feed me) forgiveness is not explored much. I mean, in a couple like Snirius, forgiveness is one of the main themes, isn't it? Because in addition to the childish mutual hatred, there was the attempted murder, there was the seven years of bullying, and finally, there was the incident at the lake. The lake and the memories of it are one of the most horrible things in Harry Potter. It's even hard to read, and we're just observers, like Harry. It never develops beyond Harry's conversation with Sirius and Remus, where they both deny and defend themselves and James. And if we're talking about a plausible development of their relationship, there should be forgiveness. But if you look closely, it's, well, never there. In their pairing, it's Sirius who basically goes through the development arc (something he doesn't have in canon): he changes, breaks himself, his beliefs, goes through a transformation and all that. Severus just accepts him, and everything just becomes okay. Especially after the war, they're both hurt, both outlived their best friends, both were in love with them - it's a good plot. But forgiveness is hard. We see it in canon - Lily didn't forgive Severus and, basically, everything is fine with that. It was a trait for her. What I mean is: could Severus even forgive Sirius? Even if he apologized sincerely and really changed as a person? After all the insults, bullying and asshole behavior that Sirius demonstrated during the Order? It's not one word, it's almost a decade of bullying for no reason, for fun and laughter. It's SO hard. Because the damage is done, it's irreparable: it's in the bones, it's in the blood, it's in the head and the heart. When I think of them as a couple, just sitting together on the couch or in the kitchen, cooking together, I always think of Severus remembering something: an insult, a shove, a kick, whatever, that he got from Sirius back in their school days. Like, just imagine this - it's crazy, it wouldn't take long to jump out the window.

You think you've gotten over it and you're in love, but then you dive right back in. Always afraid that he's going to say something hurtful about you or your hair or your clothes or whatever. So, yeah. I think they're doomed. I like the idea that no matter what changes Sirius goes through, Severus will never forgive him. I like the idea of ​​Sirius loving Severus SO much that he can't breathe, he can't eat, he will think about him every second of every day, pining from longing - but he'll never have his feelings returned. Sirius will love Severus more than James, and he'll be terrified of it. But, as in the case of James, he will never be with him. Some kind of retribution, justice. Or consequences for his own actions - something he's never really learned. And maybe they'd try, but it wouldn't work. And maybe at first Sirius would have treated it as something frivolous, but then suddenly he fell in love with him too much. And maybe Severus would just leave and find someone better, hahaha.

[arthur-lesters-balls]

ok im about to start rambling like crazy because since yesterday i cant stop thinking about this fucking scene and how it just makes stsg's future fight worse better. this is a wonderful point to stop, and think about their breakup and how it was clearly motivated by a lot more than just a clash of ideals

to get started its really interesting to think about how gojo was the one who gave the idea of going against any rules and fighting the person at the foundation of the jujutsu society for riko. he was ready to risk everything for a single kid, to grant her the life she wanted. both he and geto knew, that if they chose this path, the consequences would be irreparable. even if they won against tengen, it meant the barriers would be totally fucked up and they would likely become fugitives, but that was alright! as long as they gave riko the opportunity to be a child! to be happy! even tho they were also just teenagers themselves and its clear that this being a kickoff to turn their lives upside down sounds so similar to what happened to geto, and its why his deflection and all the lack of communication around it are even more depressing. the thing is: i cant imagine a world where gojo, knowing about mimiko and nanako, would disagree with getos attitude. even if you dont take into consideration how gojo was ready to kill the whole star cult after riko died, it just doesnt goes with what we saw of him until that point (and from that point onward too) some people disagree with this, because it goes in favor of the whole "gojo didnt had a moral compass of his own when he was a teenager" thing (which is totally wrong). to me, it doesnt. gojo had his own opinions, but he also seemed very aware of how this didnt mean he was ready for the nuances of every situation he could get caught on, and that was where talking to geto helped him. they had similar opinions, gojo felt safe being honest with him, and they were equals! who could be better to question his decisions, right? well, thats exactly why theres a whole plot line about geto looking gojo and feeling that they were no longer neck to neck when gojo goes after geto in shinjuku, its really unambiguous the fact that his goal was not to kill him, but to talk to him. gojo wanted to understand what was the meaning behind geto's actions. geto, who always made sure everything he did had a clear and well-thought motivation, would surely have an explanation for his choice. and in a certain way, he did, yes. i think its quite easy to see that gojo, who even ten years later was out there saying he would side with yuta in a fight, if the higher ups decided to kill him, would see at least a little bit of sense in the core of geto's choice if he just knew about it. but he didnt when geto decided that gojo would never understand him, he wasnt thinking about gojo disagreeing with the effectiveness of it, because geto himself knew it was a dumb idea. the heart of what he was doing, wasnt really to succeed, even tho he gives his best to make himself believe that he will. its all about choosing the murder spree he did in that village, and then doing a backward justification; its about hopelessly doing something, for the sake of doing something. if he were gojo, his plan wouldnt be stupid. if he were gojo, there wasnt any plan that would sound stupid. because gojo had the power to change the world if he set his heart on doing so, but geto didnt. what he could do was choose his path and give his best at staying at it, no matter how painful it was

[cellarspider]

10/30 The team puts their foot in it

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We return to Prometheus, the movie that makes me want to use the “Leave it” command I’ve taught the family dog.

Apologies if the screenshots are hard to visually parse on this one, this part of the movie is not meant for viewing on a bright, sunny day. May I recommend the alt-text? I've got image descriptions in there, as well as rambles that almost double the word count of these posts.

Also, your daily reminder: Go into your blog settings, scroll down to "visibility", and turn off 3rd party data harvesting! Do it! Happiness is stored in the not-getting-comodified!

My antipathy toward the archaeologists was reaching unprecedented proportions. The only character I didn’t fault for putting his hands on everything like a two-year-old: the literal two-year-old android, David.

Is there a long and dumb history of infantilizing dudes’ behavior? Yes. Was it very funny to see the archaeologists suddenly freak out because someone else was getting too handsy with the alien archaeological finds? Also yes! 

David opens the door, having to climb up a collapsible ladder to comfortably reach the controls, which is a nice touch. The next room contains the head of the decapitated Engineer, and also

I don’t know whether the set designers put this together prior to the decision that this would be where they put the decapitated body, but in hindsight, it seems a little on the nose. What the set wants to communicate is a religious feel–an idol of some kind, delicate reliefs on the walls that some consider to be plot holes because they look xenomorph-y, and a bunch of black urns.

The visual intent, delivered beautifully but with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, is that this is the room where shit will begin to go down. It’s a refined miniature of the egg room in Alien. Something is going to get inappropriately intimate with a man’s face here.

I suppose we are meant to find it a plot twist when that happens later, and not now, but I was still experiencing Archaeological Rage at this point.

Despite telling David not to open the door, they wander in like utter lemons, breathe all over everything, and are surprised when this has consequences. The art starts melting off the walls.

Admittedly, when the moist breath and germs of gormless tourists has caused irreparable damage to ancient egyptian tombs and 17,000 year old cave paintings, it took much longer than this. One of the characters exclaims that they must have disturbed the atmosphere in the room by opening it, which is possible. However, we literally see accumulated dirt in this room. Alien worms writhing in it. This is a plot point for a few scenes from now, because the black urns have started sweating a Mysterious Goop that the audience may remember as “that DNA melty stuff from the opening scene”.

Back when I was talking about setting mood, expectation, and feeling pretty good. I miss that.

There’s apparently a cut scene where Millburn the biologists finds those alien worms somewhere, and has a near-religious experience. It’s the first macroscopic alien life ever witnessed by modern humans. Something that evolved entirely separately from us. He’s in awe. 

The scene no longer has any logical home in the flow of the movie–the worms are only seen by the audience, in the urn room. Millburn left with Fifield the geologist, following Fifield’s panic attack. Still, it would’ve gone a long way to humanizing his character if it was still included, showing that the cast isn’t all treating this like kindergarteners at a toy store, and partially explaining a dumbass thing he does later.

It would also stand in stark contrast to further desecrating an ancient body, which is next on the agenda for our cast.

With the room literally melting and the Prometheus calling in the approach of a sandstorm, they heave the head in a duffel bag and sprint away.

I hate this. There’s the feeble justification that they already fucked up the room anyway, but they have been viewing the body as a thing they want to have, an emblem of their own efforts, and not an ethically distinct class of object that has to be treated with extreme care.

Nope! Into the duffel bag it goes. David, for his part, duffels an urn. I hate this less, for the aforementioned reason of “two-year-old who everyone’s been robot-racist at”. Also because frankly, he’s an android in an Alien movie, one that is very self-conscious about the tropes. He is either going to be an absolute saint like Bishop, or he’s going to be an extension of a callous corporate power like Ash. David is a unique spin on it, but he’s absolutely the Ash.

He manages to be all that and the only one who knows what he’s doing. David saves Shaw and the poor goddamn head from getting swept away in the sandstorm, with calm efficiency and an air of either “I have done a good thing, please praise”, or “yes, I am better at this than you”. Honestly can’t tell which. He’s certainly begun to develop antipathy toward his creators, which is one of the few character arcs that manages to occur in this movie.

So, great. Our cast has blundered into, breathed all over, and botched their exploration of humanity’s first alien structure, on the urging of an allegedly-archaeologist who literally treated it as a christmas present. They return with stolen artifacts and somebody’s head. They do not return with their biologist and geologist, who have apparently gotten lost in the alien structure, despite the geologist also being the one who was making the team a map of the place.

Things do not get better.

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Alt-text rambling citations:

1. https://www.cap-that.com/prometheus/index.php?page=1 2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pointing#Cultural_variations  3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OK_gesture#Negative_denotations

[ariadne-mouse]

For the AU thing, Shadowgast and the most tragic thing you can think of

Hmmmmm tragedy can have many angles, but I think the core of Shadowgast's canonical ending is that they each choose to accept their mistakes and try to build the future, rather than rewrite the past. I think a nice Canon Divergence AU tragedy could be built on the inverse of that: Caleb or Essek or both being consumed enough by guilt that they DO decide to rewrite the past - even working together to do it as a pair! - but that when time resettles to the present day their changes have had disastrous consequences. Perhaps Caleb's carefully thought-out plan would have worked in isolation, but in trying to change Essek's past also, everything spirals out of control. There are new problems to fix. The Mighty Nein and their story together are slipping between their fingers as small changes become big changes become irreparable losses. Too many attempts tampering with time, and their original timeline and everything they had come to love is warped or destroyed. It's only them left in the ashes, together, but empty, and full of pain.

"We should rewrite each other," Essek says into the grey morning, his breath a cloud of vapor. It's cold here in Eiselcross, but also stable. It's much older then either of them. "One last change. Destroy our tether to memories of past timelines. Maybe it will... reset this. We cannot invent temporal translocation if we never meet."

Caleb doesn't look at him. "You just don't want to live with what we have done."

The noise Essek makes is a laugh in the same way a gut wound is extra ventilation. "Can you blame me?"

[send me an AU and I'll share the plot of the fic I'll never write!]

[roobylavender]

i know most people don't like titans 1999 nor take it as some sort of gospel but one of my least favorite things from it to this day is the way the roy/jade rift is handled in issue #30. like it's such an insult to roy's character and deep-seated empathy that he would watch someone try to kill her in prison and when she retaliates to save her life he decides enough is enough and that he and lian have to sever themselves from her permanently. unless she finishes her sentence out in prison like a respectable inmate, her remorse and desperation and trauma mean nothing to him where they did prior. one of the things that i think separates roy from ollie is that the latter very much values how people respond to suffering. his experiences on the island shape his belief that people who do harm suffer consequences in order to grow. it's like a "be a man" type of thing. hence why ollie isn't a present and supportive figure when roy is first revealed to be taking heroin, but later on when roy begins to rebuild his life he expresses emotional approval. roy's absorption of that mindset can originally be seen in how he prides himself on his ability to start fresh. he's determined to prove that he can come back from the heroin and be the good, dutiful hero that he was meant to be. he joins the dc equivalent of the cia and gets shipped away to deal with drug cartels. it is the perfect full circle moment. a boy who was revealed to be on drugs grows up to go on heroic worldwide drug busts. huzzah. but then roy meets jade, and everything changes. despite him knowing and believing in what he's been sent to do, he falls in love, he consummates that love, and he returns to the us and drops out of the organization completely. the next decade or so is peppered with brief interactions between roy and jade that point to the latter certainly being emotionally unstable and violently reactive, but nonetheless evoking a certain empathy from roy bc he got to see who she was beneath the violence. and i think marv wolfman really severely underestimated the potential he created with that dynamic for roy to break free of the mindset ollie had passed on to him. about how penance has to be marked by obedience and suffering. roy saw someone deeply disturbed in jade and reached out to that part of her and hoped for her to see the good in herself. he didn't condescend to her, he didn't deride her. he begged her to embrace the part of herself that could heal. and while the genocide plot threw a huge wedge in that emotional development between the two of them, i think titans 1999 #30 was the more irreparable deal breaker bc it closed off any opportunity for the details of the genocide to even be rewritten to better account for jade's character. not only was this absolutely nonsensical event lobbed onto her shoulders to destroy any nuance that had been developed around her prior, its death wish was also marked for finality when roy chose to turn away from jade and deny her the humanity that he had uniquely recognized in her for years. i don't think it can be overstated how severely that issue undercut character development for both of them

[caspianjames]

Having Young Royals brain rot now about August??? I think he’s often made out to be the villain and he’s really,,,not??? Did he do a shitty thing? Absolutely. Do I think he’s a bad person? Absolutely not. He’s incredibly well written and I think in a lot of ways he’s very easy to empathize with. Here’s why.

That kid has pretty much everything going against him. Canonically he’s what? 17? 18? His dad is dead, he clearly doesn’t have a good relationship with his mom or stepdad, he’s clearly never had a safe space to process his dads death and work on recovering, he’s relying on stimulants to get through school, the girl he likes decides to date him but only cuz she can’t get his cousin, he has virtually no caring adults in his life, he’s bankrupt and terrified that the only semblance of normalcy he has left (hillerska) will be ripped out from under him. That kid is a fucking mess and absolutely the consequences of this mean he’s going to lash out. He gives so many warning signs that he’s not doing okay too. But so, to break this down point by point:

1. His dead died in a rather horrific manner, his mom moved on but clearly was not around to make sure that her son was okay. He’s often referred to a stupid or prideful for not wanting to give up part of the family estate so he’s not bankrupt except that’s the only thing he has left of his dad. And it’s not even his fault he’s bankrupt, he’s a kid!

2. Not having a safe space to process his dad dying is sort of visibly a given, but actually to take that one step further I think he DID have a safe space. It was Erik. And then Erik died and this kid truly has nothing, not even Wille because he was more interested in Simon than paying attention to what August was going through (which isn’t Wille’s fault, he hardly knew August and clearly had different values and stuff from august. But watching the show I get the feeling August is really looking to be someone meaningful to Wille and Wille just,,,really doesn’t like him). He said this in a roundabout way to Felice, too, when he was jealous of her relationship with Willhelm. It was something like “you’re my girlfriend, you’re supposed to comfort me so that I can comfort him.” Which I think is a two fold thing where firstly, no one realizes how hard Erik’s death hit him and how much he needs someone to tell him that stuff is going to be alright, but secondly, the last thing we see Erik tell him is to take care of Wille. So now he also feels like he’s failing to do that. And Willie, the one person who he could relate to about Erik, hardly wants anything to do with him.

3. I am SO interested to see where the plot will go with the meds he’s relying on. I don’t think it’s ever actually made clear if he thinks he DOES have ADHD or whether he’s just using the meds to cope but either way it’s a problem that shows he doesn’t have adequate support, you know? Even the school counsellor dude was just like “ok guess ur gonna walk out of my office bye then” instead of altering the headmaster or his parents or a teacher he trusts or ANYTHING. And, as the season progresses he gets more volatile. Why? He’s out of meds (and, whether or not he actually has ADHD and needs meds, that means he’s low on dopamine and is going to start doing stupider stuff to get his brain to reward him). (Side note, given the role ADHD and also substance abuse plays in the series I really, really hope they do both concepts justice)

4. Felice dating him even though she has no interest. No hate to her for that, honestly, I don’t think she was really interested in anyone except making her parents happy with her. She’s under a whole different kind of pressure. But august? He clearly really likes her and is trying hard with her, until everything sort of falls out of his grasp nearer the end of the season cuz he thinks she’s in love with Wille and is otherwise not coping well at all.

SO ALL THAT leads up to him outing Wille, which we see from Wille’s POV but never really from August’s, right? We see Wille yelling at August about how he was supposed to be able to trust him, but honestly I think from August’s POV Wille broke that trust first. We said already that pretty much the only thing August had left going for him was Hillerska, and by extension his friends and community there. When Wille wants them to make Alex take the fall for the drugs to save Simon, he literally exposes August and basically rips that away from him sooner than August is ready for, because now all the boys know that he’s bankrupt. In Wille’s mind it’s not a big deal - it’s a means to an end and he already knows he’s asked his mom to cover August’s tuition. It’s a very calculated but very smart move.

Except that Hillerska is all that August has left, and in a sense, Wille takes that away from him. Can you imagine how horrible that would feel for August from someone he trusted?? And honestly there is nothing more dangerous than someone who has been wronged and feels like they have nothing to lose. You can tell when Sara sees August at the computer. He doesn’t make up a story, he doesn’t care. He just wants to hurt Wille back in the only way that he can regardless of the consequences.

I don’t even think he’s homophobic or anything, either. He took the video initially to make fun of Wille with, and then when he realized what it was he didn’t say anything. But in that moment that was the one thing he had on Wille that he could weaponize because he knew it would be taken badly by the general public. 

And then he gets the call of his tuition being paid and you can see reality crash down around him when he realizes rationally what he’s done.

Anyways. My conclusion is. This poor kid has literally no one looking out for him. Like, not a single person. And that’s what happens, you know? No one does horrible things or irreparable damage to themselves or others on a whim. There’s almost always a build-up of hopelessness or anger that has to overflow first. This is a real life thing. This shit is preventable. And I really, really hope we get to see that with August. I hope we get a redemption, but an honest one. Because no matter what led to his actions, they still have real consequences. I hope the show creates a storyline where we see him getting what he needs from the adults around him while also having to deal with the consequences of his actions. 

[gay-snom]

contextualizing lwj’s coming to terms with his feelings subplot!

i wanna talk about the role of confucianism in this subplot because i think it’s something some western fans might not pick up on. basically, the sociopolitical climate of confucianism in his character arc, and a little bit about his interaction with the public image theme.

disclaimer: i’m not chinese but i do have a double minor in chinese and asian studies and have written a few papers on confucianism.

we’re gonna be talking about the novel bc i feel its a little more in-depth and nuanced than lwj’s “what is black, what is white” monologue in cql. namely the tension and misunderstanding in wwx’s first life and how lwj got his scars. i feel like it’s pretty well accepted that wwx made lwj reconsider his world view, so i’m just gonna expand on it. also i want to point out it's pretty unspoken in most of the text, but lwj is also affected by/used to explore the public image themes, as his image the is ideal confucian scholar.

confucianism is centered around the ideas of how to behave “good” in sociopolitical contexts. basically it boils down to a belief system on how society should be run. if everyone follows confucian beliefs, you will have an ideal society. the main text is the Analects, which you can read here. it’s been around for a few thousand years (like around 200 BCE ish), had a huge revival in the tang dynasty (618-907 CE). it was put on imperial exams, the emperor’s cabinet had confucian scholars, etc. this is just to say confucian values are important to historic society, especially upper-class scholars, which seems to be a role cultivators commonly fill in xianxia. here are some basic tenants:

being a gentleman/scholar/superior man (君子 jūn zǐ) : partly being learned in the arts, literature, music, poetry, etc., mostly behaving righteously and dutifully.

filial piety: usually described as obedience. it's not simply obeying everything elders tell you, it includes doing it with reverence and thankfulness for their sacrifices for you.

leading by example: if leaders/the government is righteous, the people will follow. lwj has his flock of juniors that are all strong cultivators and the lan sect is just generally known for being moral and good.

rites/rituals: a focus on politeness and holding proper ceremonies, sacrifices, and funerals

speech: there’s some great meta about the register he speaks in here, i just want to touch on think carefully before you speak, only speak sincerely, etc.

tldr; lwj is THE perfect gentleman (even his title contains the character suffix 君 -jūn, like lxc. which, while this character is not uncommon for cultivator titles, it wasn’t chosen carelessly either. also not to be confused with 尊 -zūn). seriously, look at almost all of book 10 and you'll see don't do/consume in excess, don't talk during meals, sit only when your mat is straight, etc.

okay, so Why is understanding his feelings for wwx so troublesome?

1.2 "They are few who, being filial and fraternal, are fond of offending against their superiors. There have been none, who, not liking to offend against their superiors, have been fond of stirring up confusion... Filial piety and fraternal submission! - are they not the root of all benevolent actions?"

in other words, people who are filial will never create political tension. so like, morally, wwx should be considered horrible person! he’s not only snubbed the jiang sect. he was a head disciple who undoubtedly had younger students looking up to him. and then he goes and stirs up some huge political issues! he is now a bad role model for the people below him and disrespected the people above him. lwj has an entire image to uphold, he has poured his entire life into following these rules and beliefs, and then wwx comes along. would continuing to be in wwx's life taint lwj? there are some contradicting teachings in regards to interacting with wwx:

15.4: "Do not take counsel with those who follow a different Way"

15.28: "When the multitude hates a person, you must examine them and judge for yourself. The same holds true for someone whom the multitude love."

15.36 "When it comes to being Good, defer to no one, not even your teacher."

this is part of the reason lwj had so much trouble accepting his feelings. he didn’t know how to handle this situation, making him appear distant during/directly after sunshot. if he judges wwx's intentions to be pure, it's then not wrong to be friendly with him. but wwx still is morally wrong by society's standards. now, lwj has to not only figure out his feelings, but also reconcile this with how he still thinks wwx is Not a bad person, despite everything. what if he does get "tainted" by wwx? will it hurt the reputation of his sect? that would be un-filial, right? he spent his whole life memorizing rules that are probably extremely similar to sections in the Analects, and now these mixed messages (coupled with the relatable gay panic) are overwhelming.

onto the next! there’s something unspoken in the scene where wwx discovers why lwj has the whip scars. as other posts have mentioned, lwj taking wwx back to the burial mounds and nursing him is high treason. however, this action is also extremely un-filial. also his entire image is built around being a perfect gentleman, if this were to get out to the public he would lose absolutely everything. he would be just as irreparable as wwx.

“I was worried if those from another sect found you first, WangJi would be considered your accomplice. The best scenario was his name being forever tainted, and the worst was his life being taken away right then. Thus, along with Uncle, we chose thirty three seniors who had always thought highly of WangJi... ”

there’s no way lwj didn’t know what would happen if he did this. obviously as lxc says, if this got out, he would lose basically his entire face. and even though lxc didn’t mention this, it would definitely lose a lot of face for the lan sect as well since lwj is so prominent. the decision about what elders to bring is also notable.

“...As if he knew all along he would be discovered by us, he said that there was nothing to explain, that this was it. Growing up, he had never talked back to Uncle, not even once. But for you, not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the Gusu Lan sect...”

so yeah, he obviously knew they would come for him and what the consequences would be. and he still talked back! that’s already not a good look for the lan sect. but attacking them? totally unforgivable! lwj gives up how he was raised and the importance of filial piety, what he has held on to until this major plot event. since it's basically the biggest "fuck you" to his uncle and his clan, this was not a decision he made lightly. lwj shows them he cares more about wwx and His Own ideas of right and wrong than the sect’s or society’s.

Wei WuXian dug his hands into his hair, “...I-I didn’t know... I really...”

when was the last time wwx was at a loss for words? wwx spends a few paragraphs after this lamenting how he hurt lwj, but he's not unaware of the gravity of what lwj did. it's an underlying assumption from being raised in the culture. i would argue his first instinct is "oh god he gave up what for me?" since those lamenting paragraphs are after lxc finishes speaking.

"But he said... that he could not say with certainty whether what you did was right or wrong..."

this is something thrown around a lot in the Analects, that not even confucius can say for sure what is right or wrong. what better way to show lwj is still a perfect confucian than have him paraphrase confucius himself?

“...WangJi was a model for the disciples when he was young, and a prominent cultivator when he grew up. In his whole life he had been honest and righteous and immaculate--you were the only mistake he made!”

here’s the confirmation that the world and even his family thinks of him as a perfect gentleman, the top tier of society, and it was all thrown away for wwx. this is just so heavy. the mistake thing? thats not only because lwj is fraternizing with an enemy. lxc and the rest of the sect who knew are terrified this will forever corrupt lwj personally, not just publicly. lwj was so devoted to believing this was the right thing to do he offered up everything he had. the gravity of this decision is insane. it’s very obvious that he loves wwx, it’s just that he struggles a lot internally to accept everything that is happening.

as for helping wwx leave after the massacre, is this gentleman-ly of lwj? was it actually in-line with his image? is it more honorable to save someone who is dying, at the cost of your own health, than to look away? isn't looking away a form of resentment? i wasn't able to find a specific passage about bystander-ness, but personally i think it qualifies as "bad intentions." there is also this passage for what it's worth, originally it was about government suppression:

12.19: "...What do you say to killing the unprincipled for the good of the principled?" Confucius replied, "...why should you use killing at all?..."

lwj is always more actions than words, and he was not fucking around. his core beliefs really haven't changed, and remain very strong throughout his life. he is still righteous enough to accept his punishment, graceful enough to search for wwx's body since there was no one else to do the funeral rites (10.22/10.15), caring enough to take in a-yuan, upright enough to still spend his years going where the chaos is.

just with this one action, the audience knows he has come to terms with realizing that authority isn't always just, and neither is the public opinion/opinion of other gentlemen. he has reconciled. this is him standing for what he believes is right. this is his devotion. this is his own choice. just. poetic cinema...

anyway that's it for my first meta post! i would love to hear your thoughts, feelings, opinions, discussions, other meta ideas, whatever! thank u for reading! <3

[blockgamepirate]

Guys guys guys

The three lives thing can't be just about any deaths that are plot related, not even dramatic ones. The canon deaths have to actually have a plot function as a loss.

(ftr I've seen multiple people suggest all of these, I'm not just vagueblogging about anyone specific. Also I haven’t actually seen the clip of Wilbur talking about it yet, I just saw the original reddit post.)

So, Tommy and Techno fist fighting in the pit is plot relevant and dramatic but Tommy dying just signified him losing the fight. That can't be a canon death, that makes no sense. It was clearly just Techno knocking Tommy out. He didn't literally murder the kid with his fists in a fight that was mainly for letting Tommy let out some steam, Niki and Tubbo at least would have had a bigger reaction if so because that would just be super fucked up.

It also wouldn’t make sense for Techno to do since he was trying to stop the in-fighting (I say “trying” because he clearly doesn’t actually know how to do that like a reasonable person.)

Wilbur getting shot while escaping L'Manberg after being exiled happened during a dramatic, plot heavy scene but him dying wasn't plot relevant and it sure as hell wasn't dramatic enough in itself to count as a canon death. The scene was dramatic, Wilbur getting shot was dramatic, but the actual death was just treated as a temporary setback, not an actual loss of life. IIRC nobody even said Wilbur died, nobody reacted like he'd died. I'd interpret it as him getting shot and being badly wounded, which actually works really well in the scene, especially how he ends up hiding in a hole waiting for Tommy to come pick him up. That makes sense if he’s too weak from bloodloss to walk by himself.

I also think you could easily see the scene where the walls are torn down happening the next day when he's recovered a bit so he's able to walk back to L'Manberg on his own.

(This is getting long, time for a cut)

I'd even argue that Tubbo was the only one to die at the festival, everybody else was only wounded. Potentially horrifically so but still not dead. Schlatt and Quackity got hit by the rockets and maybe Techno even thought he'd killed them but I don't think he did, they didn't react to their deaths almost at all. Imagine if he'd actually killed them, you'd think they'd at least be like what the fuck Technoblade. Also Niki got shot in the crossfire too but nobody said anything about Techno killing her. I think she got hit but survived. I think the people in the audience who died were all actually just incapacitated. Otherwise there should have been consequences, people should be actually angry or grieving the fact that they’re a step closer to death.

You can tell that Tubbo's death was canonical by how it was taken so seriously, much more so than anyone else's deaths.

Similarly Tommy's death in the duel against Dream: Wilbur said to him before the duel that independence wasn't worth him losing his life or something along those lines: that made his death actually impactful, the narrative weight put on his decision to challenge Dream.

I don't know what the other canon deaths would be, besides Wilbur and Jschlatt's permanent ones obv. Eret's betrayal is a good candidate, although I don't think it necessarily has to be since the betrayal itself was the focus of the scene and was impactful enough as is even if all that happened was that they were beaten up and had their gear taken. Techno assassinating Tubbo after the revolution also could be one but doesn't necessarily have to be, it was definitely a JFK moment but the scene would still work if it was just a Reagan moment (bc Reagan was shot and severely injured but survived, you know). In any case it can't be both since Tubbo would be properly dead. (It could also be neither.)

My point is, it's kind of driving me nuts seeing people just count everything plot related or dramatic as a canon death. You can have dramatic moments where nobody dies. In fact that could even make them more dramatic in some cases:

Imagine a wounded Wilbur leaning on Tommy as they struggle through the wilderness. Imagine Tommy lying on the ground, gasping, his vision still blurry from the punches as Techno calmly climbs out of the pit to talk to a satisfied Wilbur. How would either of those scenes be more dramatic if they'd died and respawned instead? They'd just lose a sense of groundedness in my opinion. And it would just be unsatisfying because nobody reacted to the fact that a character just lost a life.

The point of canon deaths, as far as I see it, is to give an in-universe reason for why some deaths have weight to them. It gives death consequences. But for that to work, the canon deaths have to be seen by the characters as deaths, as something being irreparably lost. And it has to be rare to keep its effect.

[just-like-playing-tag]

Here is something fun to think about, fullscore trio confession headcannons?

Pffft fun ask here we go!!

I already mentioned it, but I believe canon and modern au would take different routes: in canon I can imagine the proposal sequence to go like Emma + Ray → Norman, while in modern au it seems more likely to be Emma + Norman → Ray. I'm not 100% sure tho... Because they're still very young in canon (I'm talking about 2047), and it looks pretty early to me to enstablish a relationship... But they always act so adult and mature so it doesn't seem too far from reality? I don't know. The shipping discourse in tpn is complicate and I don't have enough energies for it right now.

I didn't really know how to organize this, so pardon the messy form,,, It's mostly ideas I'm just throwing there. Enjoy! Under the cut because it got l o n g

You see, Emma and Ray arrive to the Paradise Hideout already being pretty much together y'know? They keep acting as partners and they're all extremely affectionate towards each other, but they don't really discuss about it with Norman- hell, their closest friend they had spent one year and eleven months considering dead just turned out to be alive, there's so much to discuss and to catch up with!!! So at first they don't really think about mentioning their relationship to him: for Emma and Ray, it's like having suddenly returned to the happy times of their childhood. Yet, Norman definitely notices they're closer than they where at GF. He is happy for them- he really, genuinely is! They're his best friends, his greatest source of joy, the reason he goes on; he's obviously, sincerely glad they're happy together. But still, deep inside he does feel a little distressed? He's been alone for so long, he didn't want to be cut out of the special bond that used to link the three of them. He obviously already knew things would have never come back to be like they were at GF, yet he couldn't keep himself from mourning how their relationship had been irreparably changed. However, he pushes these feelings aside, not even allowing the thought to take shape in his mind: Emma and Ray are happy, and that's all that matters. That's everything he's been fighting for untill that day, and that's the reason he keeps fighting every day- to give them a bright future where they can be safe and happy. But his unexpressed anxieties are hard to suppress: he fears that things will not be like they where before, that something was lost forever; he fears he is now going to be sidelined in their relationship. He has been crushing on them since he could remember, so it's quite obvious deep down it was a bit upsetting for him to come up with the realization the three of them wouldn't have been together- even though he would have rather died than admit it to himself, or allow it to show. So I like to imagine we are at the end of chapter 121, when the trio is spending some time just the three of them, chatting and playing and forgetting about everything scary or painful. Emma talks and talks, trying catching up Norman on everything: it's almost like she's trying to make the time they've spent apart disappear, rewriting the narrative to make Norman fit in their (terrifying) adventures. She would have probably been overwhelming to any other, but not to Norman, who looked like he was having the best time of his life, never getting his glimmering, adoring eyes off her. Then at some point Emma goes:

Emma: Mmmhh what else... Oh, apparently me and Ray are together now? Dunnot at some point Gillian and the others said that judging from how we acted we where totally together-

Norman: W h a t.

Emma: Ahah I know, crazy right? Obviously you're in as well lol

Norman: W H A T ?

Emma didn't have the time to talk about it with Ray beforehand, but it was ok: for Norman to be included in their relationship felt like such a natural consequence to Norman being alive that they hadn't felt the need to discussing about it at all. Besides, at this point of the story, Emma and Ray are so much on the same page that they don't even need to talk about something to know what each other is thinking.

And you know how Norman is. He was too taken by overthinking everything and reconsidering his life choices, too distracted by his self loathing to even consider Emma and Ray would have asked him to take part of their relationship, no matter how obvious it sounds.

Ok now, I didn't plan this beforehand but PLOT TWIST Norman doesn't accept

He's like "No... I... *Dramatic pause* I can't."

Emma and Ray are sincerely surprised. Emma exclaims: "Why???"

Norman panicks and says: "There's... Another person". There is, in fact, no other person, and he's just making up excuses.

Emma and Ray don't believe him for one second but go along with it basically just to mess up with him

Ray, mockingly: Yeah of course... Wait don't tell me, the mysterious girl with the coral dress is back? [Reference to the first novel]

Norman, flustered: I'M SERIOUS GUYS

The true reason why Norman didn't feel like accepting their proposal is because he's self sacrificing and stuff, and because he believes he's going to die in a year anyway so he doesn't want to make them suffer.

In his head he's probably thinking "I'm sorry Emma... Ray... But I'm taking a path you can not follow... You don't know the horrible things I've done... You deserve better than me..." (Yeah he's just THAT dramatic).

(Ok tho I later realized that this is literally canon:)

Ray, in the meantime, knowing exactly what he's thinking because he just knows him that well (and can relate to his self-sacrificial nature), is like *rolls his eyes*

Ray, telepathically, to Norman: You know you can't escape Emma's love, right?

Honestly the thought of the trio being romantically involved is so funny to me because then the whole conflict for Norman's genocidal tendencies would be like:

Emma, talking to Ray: Ray I love our boyfriend BUT IS HE DUMB, ALWAYS TRYING TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF AAAAAAAAAAHHH SERIOUSLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?????

Ray, remembering the times he used to be as sacrificial: *sweats*

I don't have much to add because the rest of canon pretty much does it without me having to change anything ahah. Norman tries to execute his genocide plan, stuff goes wrong, and Emma and Ray manage to talk to him before it's too late. I don't think much of any at all of their conversation from chapter 153 would change.

When this happens, Norman knows they intend both literally and romantically, and, as soon as he accepts, Emma and Ray understand he finally resigned to his feeling and accepted to stay with them forever. That's very sweet actually, this scene makes me soft 🤧🤧🤧 Still one of the best tpn moments ever!!!!

I'm reading the initial ask again and honesty... I'm not sure that's what Anon ment with their ask but I kinda got carried away /////////////

This got long enough and I don't want to make Anon wait any longer so I'm not going to write here how I think the modern au confession would go; however feel free to ask if you're interested in it and I'll try to summarize it! But I have just a vague idea of what it would happen so it would probably be shorter than this :)

[booksoanahasread]

Destinul coroanei de Evelyn Skye 

It’s well past midnight and I’m pretty tired, I have Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift stuck on repeat in my head. I’m here to tell you that this is a great duology and you should really read it. I loved each book. 

This second book was gut-wrenching, watching Nikolai be influenced by his mother’s dreams for him was infuriating. I loved the magical elements and the possibility of revolution present. The whole book was written with such artistry that you just sit down looking at it for a couple minutes after you’ve finished it. 

The setting was just as brilliant as the previous book.The author truly did her research and her descriptions were completely mesmerizing. At times I felt as if I were in Saint Petersburg in the 1800s, utterly lost in the streets and happy. 

Vika was once again fabulous and a sweetheart. I adore her, she truly just wants what’s best for the empire and for her friends. She cares so deeply about others and she is willing to accept others’ apologies when she deems fit. The way she constantly tried to encourage girls in the city was inspirational. 

Her refusal to believe that Nikolai had truly changed irreparably was based only on hope. There is a Romanian proverb that goes something along the lines of: hope is the last one to die. It is clear that Vika adheres to this principle. If she could, she would force everyone to get along. 

The irony of the ending was the fact that Vika was unconscious and became the reason for everyone coming together. Something in Nikolai shifted when she saw her plummet from her place in the sky which led him to talk to Pasha trying to save her one last time. 

Nikolai was the most aggravating character in the novel because the reader knew how good he could be, you knew his potential. It was frustrating to see his fall from grace, to see him slumming it with whoever he deemed useful enough to carry out his plans. It became painful to read his chapters, knowing that his former self would be thoroughly disappointed in him. 

Pasha was so broken and he was trying to heal throughout the novel. It was phenomenal when he finally realised his potential for being a compelling and merciful leader. Though he had made many mistakes, he did try to bear the consequences of his actions as best he could, no matter what. He clearly wanted everything to go back to what had happened before the Crown’s Game. 

I loved watching all the characters interact, especially with the added subplot of the possibility of Renata changing people’s tea leaves and therefore their destinies. I think it was well-played and enticing. The whole plot was wonderful and captivating.

My favourite scene has to be the epilogue where we can clearly see the trio in good terms. The coronation of Pasha was beautifully depicted, the intricacies so clearly thought-out. The use of magic and the collaboration of Nikolai and Vika was wondrous. As I was reading this scene, I had the Wildest Dreams cover by Duomo playing and it was quite possibly the best song to fit. The unification of the three was something the reader could only hope for, could only dream of. It was only possible in our wildest dreams. 

I highly recommend this series and I hope more people read it. I haven’t seen many people who’ve read these books and I can only dream of talking about this series with someone who loved it just as I did. In any case, please read this series, you won’t be disappointed if you’re anything like me. 

[gremlinkweenarchive-blog]

Bad Moon Rising

Originally posted by sensualkisses

Part 7: Concerns and Arguments

Summary: The reader finds and rescues a hurt merman who tells her that his name is Jim. She helps him without a second thought, but his presence might attract the attention of other supernatural creatures she never knew existed. This will eventually be a foursome (Jim Mason x Michael Langdon x Duncan Shepard x Reader) mythology/supernatural au.

A/N: Again, this is a bit shorter, but it’s also full of plot I guess?? Foreshadowing??? IDK man things happen and things are learned. 

Warnings: Duncan and Michael’s backstory, me enjoying writing Rory and Li too much, depictions of being messed up on a lot of drugs, Duncan being a dick, and Michael worrying??

Word Count: 3.5 k

Tagging List: @langdonsinferno, @ccodyfern, @michael-langdon-appreciation, @lovelykhaleesiii, @michael-langdon-owns-my-soul, @moonagecordelia, @sojournmichael, @n30n-dreams, @wroteclassicaly and  @codyfernss

 It's that time again, she's sitting in the bar with Li and Rory, just talking about this and that. Things were going really well in house since she had told them about her concerns. She felt lighter, like she could laugh again, like the world wasn't falling apart on her every other minute. She wasn't even expecting Duncan to offer to help pay her bills, she knew that he had money just from the way her dressed, and his, well, his everything, but she had to decline. She told him that it wasn't his responsibility to take care of her like that. Call it pride, but her father had always taught her that you work hard for yourself. She wasn't opposed to the idea of eventually accepting the help, but right now, it just seemed too much. 

"Earth to Y/N," Li spoke, waving a hand in front of her face. 

"Oh, sorry, lost in thought there," she smiled. 

"Okay, so I know there are like three hot men in your house and that are hanging around, and they're like not human or whatever, but here're the most important questions. Are you banging all of them? And is it separately or together?" 

Rory's head nearly hit the bar, "Ah, for fuck's sake, Li! It's none of your business! Leave them alone!" Rory was more saying that out of just not wanting to hear about the details more than the privacy for the four of them, but there was a little concern there for their privacy. 

"We're all together as a unit, but that's all you get out of me, okay," she answered and Li cheered, about to say something most definitely off colored, but Rory reached over the counter with lightening speed and shoved his cleaning rag in her mouth before she could get anything out. 

"That's surprising though, I'm surprised that Michael and Duncan could ever get together again," Rory responded as he straightened out his shirt and vest. 

She looked at him debating if she should try again to get some information about that relationship or if Rory was going to shoot her down again. Luckily, Li asked for her. 

"So, like, are you ever gonna tell us more about that shit show or are you just going to be quiet and mysterious about this like always?" 

Rory sighed, "It's not my place to speak okay. Just because I know things doesn't mean I need to go running my mouth off." 

"To be fair, Y/N is dating the both of them and who am I going to tell? We all know that I only talk to you two willingly and most of my other conversations are just "What are you doing?," "You know you've been banned here, leave," "Why are you in my house?," and "Please, we're begging, just stop." So, really? Who am I going to tell about werewolf and vampire drama?" 

Both Rory and her nodded, she had a point. 

"I just think that you should talk to them about it," but her brows went up and Rory tensed, he forgot but remembered who he was referencing. 

"Okay, sure, I'll just ask Mr. The Past is the Past and You Don't Need to Worry Dear and Mr. I Do Things in My Spare Time but I Give Up Less Information Unless Under Pain of Death, But Even Then are going to tell me about their relationship willingly?" She asked, skeptical. 

Rory sighed, "Okay, I see you have a point. I think for a healthy relationship you need to get the specifics from the two of them, even if they are brick walls emotionally for entirely different reasons." 

"I can live with that," she spoke. 

"Alright, just," Rory sighed as the two of them sat entirely engrossed with what he was about to say, "So, Duncan is a Shepherd, which is a dig deal in this world. They are rich, and powerful, and the biggest pack in North America. They came over with some of the first settlers as a small family of nobodies, but then they grew their empire. Some secret history here, but who knows how the American history would have went down without their help in the Revolution. They've been in D.C. and were actually some of the people lobbying for the capital to be moved down there. Annette is the current Alpha, she's the second one, and Duncan is in line after her, and his mother. She's..." He trailed off. 

"A bitch?" Li offered. 

"She rules with an iron fist and there are harsh consequences for stepping out of line, even for Duncan," He gave Li a look. 

"So a bitch," Li stood by her statement. She knew what she said. 

He sighed, "If that's what you want to call it. Then, Michael is from my maker, a very old and very dangerous vampire, she killed and changed without pity or remorse, but the Council never stood up to her because she was older and more power than just about all of them. Well, she was until Michael killed her for her various crimes. It is a serious offense to kill your maker, but everyone was more relieved that she was gone than Michael doing that." 

"Oh man, are there just nothing but bitches in the supernatural community?" 

Rory didn't even grace Li's question with an answer. 

"And well, due to a lot of factors and issues, the Council of Vampires don't get along with a lot of werewolves and definitely not the Shepherds. There have been close to all out wars that were just pissing contests over who had the most power." 

"Okay, but their relationship?" She asked, trying not to get impatient. 

"This is important to understand the climate between them, okay?" Rory shook his head as the other two settled down, sure they were actually about to get the information they were interested in. "They were supposed to be enemies, but the fall of 1824, and Duncan took one look at Michael and he was, well, he was smitten. He was in love with him. He wooed him. It was a love story of the century. Of course, they had to go behind everyone's backs, but they were happy and in love." 

She felt her heart warm at the thought of them being so close and in love, but it quickly occurred to her that that was not the case anymore. She saw way Michael watching Duncan like a hawk, expecting awaiting something, but she wasn't sure what. She saw how flippantly Duncan could treat Michael, the way he flaunted a power over him that she didn't quite understand. A dread filled her stomach. 

"They were together until 1917, nearly a hundred years before Annette found out about the affair." 

"Am I about to want to throw hands with her?" Li asked, but she felt that dread worsen. That couldn't be good at all. 

Rory gave her a look before continuing, "Well, things got very bad very fast, and decisions were made, irreparable decisions and sides were chosen and Duncan didn't choose Michael's side." 

Her stomach dropped. She couldn't even begin to imagine how bad that must have been. That's what Michael was waiting for, for Duncan to hurt him again. 

"And they've really hated each other since. I don't really know much beyond that. I heard rumors and speculations, but those two have never gone on record and said anything. That's really as far as I know, and-" 

She didn't want to hear more about this, not right now. "And if I want to know more, I have to ask them," she gave a tight smile. 

Rory nodded. He truly wished in this moment that he had a more pleasant story to tell her, but the truth was the truth. "Well, things must be better between them if they're coexisting," he tried to give her a little encouragement, but he wasn't sure if that was any good at this point. 

"You must be right, I'm just con-" She didn't get to finish that thought as the door burst open and a much much much too intoxicated Jim came stumbling in. 

"My starfish!" He called as he stumbled his way over to them and leaned against her, putting all his weight on her. 

Rory cocked an eyebrow, a deeply concerned eyebrow at her, and Li just replied, "Oh god, you are having a fun time aren't you?" 

"Yeop," Jim slurred and she looked up at Rory, not sure what to do or what to say. 

"I think it might be best to get him home," Rory suggested, and gave Li a look that said "And if you need to, you will help them." 

"I don't want to though," Jim whined and she sighed. 

"But," she had to think of something to entice him to get him back home, "If you do, there's a nice warm bath and food in it if you do." 

He hummed, that did sound mighty enticing and Jim couldn't help but give in. Who could say no to food and a warm bath? "Okay, I'll go, but you gotta promise me fish sticks. I promise fish sticks, I promise." 

"Okay, good," he hummed, burying his face into her shoulder. 

--------------------------------------

If she thought wrestling the merman in his human form into the house was bad, she was in a whole other world trying to deal with his true form in the bathtub. He was still wasted, and she had her reservations that he was just drunk. This was just a new level for him. Of course, the other two weren't home yet either

"Hey," she spoke softly as she washed his hair. 

"Hey," he giggled back, barely coherent and his head was lolling back. 

"What's this about huh?" It was soft and she booped his nose and he smiled, but deep down she was concerned. 

He attempted a shrug. "It's fun." 

"Who were you with? Was Michael or Duncan there with you before you came to the bar?" 

He shook his head. "I dunno who was with me, but it wasn't either of them," he trailed off. 

Shit, that wasn't good. At all. She didn't want to come off as too alarmed and set off any bad highs for him, but she did want to make sure he understood that this wasn't good. 

"Hey, Jim, that's..." She could scream in frustration. She had seen him getting high and drunk more often, but this was something new. Where was Duncan and Michael? "Jim, it's dangerous to do that? Okay?" 

"I was fine," he hummed, trying to find her skin to cuddle into. 

"Can you promise me something?" She asked with a softly trembling voice. 

"Anything for you, starfish." He didn't even notice. 

"Just, please, if you want to get this messed up again, please be with one of the three of us. It can be dangerous and we'll make sure nothing bad happens to you." She kissed the top of his head, and she felt him nod. She'd have to this talk with him when he was sober, get him to understand the importance of this, but right now, she just had to accept what it was. 

She had to help him out of the bath, though he could barely get back into human form. Marking bathing down as one of the things that he couldn't do when he was this messed up. Though, she supposed there wasn't any risk of drowning for him, which was a small comfort. He was in bed and comfy. 

"Can you stay on your side, please?" She asked as put the room's trashcan by the bed just in case. He nodded as he was drifting into sleep. "Okay, I'll be down stairs, but if you need anything, just give me a holler and I'll be up in a little bit to check on you." He grumbled in response and she went downstairs worry eating away at her. 

------------------------

She was sitting at the kitchen island, working on her third mug of tea, but she didn't even taste it. It was just something to distract her. She had already checked on Jim, and he was sleeping soundly. A blessing, she supposed. 

What surprised her though, was seeing Michael and Duncan enter the house together. 

Michael must of read her face, and he hated the idea of people thinking they were more than mandatorily civil with each other, so he corrected, "We just ran into each other on the way home. No need to walk separately when you're going to the same place." 

Duncan shook his head at the insistence that nothing was being rekindled between them on Michael's part. Truth was though, that walk was silent and tense, both of them considering if it was worth to start a fight or not. They knew not to, but that didn't make the desire go away away any less. 

She nodded, that was an understandable answer, though she did wonder what it was that they did when they weren't home, but that wasn't the concern on her mind at the moment. 

Duncan went to her and kissed the top of her head before he went to get ready for bed, it had been a day for him, but she grabbed his arm and stopped him from going. Michael had already set about doing the dishes, he wasn't one to keep his hands idle. 

"Well, I'm glad you two are home, I wanted to talk you." She bit her lip and Duncan was settling down in the chair next to her, watching her with an intense eyes and Michael tensed, both of them were expecting questions about their previous relationship. The actual topic surprised the both of them, and maybe that diversion of expectations is what had Duncan taking the positions that he did. 

She sighed, she hated to be the one to bring this up, she was beginning to doubt that this was a problem, but the worry, and something even deeper in her told her this wasn't a simple problem. It may seem small now, but it go grow into an ugly beast. "So, I was sitting in the bar talking to Li and Rory and Jim, fucked up on god knows what, burst into the bar. It was a bitch and a half to get him home, and I'm worried." 

"Well, is he okay now?" Duncan asked. Michael was listening, but like usual, he was keeping his thoughts to himself. 

She sighed, "He is now. I had to put him to bed and I've been checking in ever so often, bu-" 

"Then he's fine," Duncan said, getting up to leave. 

A scoff left her mouth, she couldn't really believe that he just said that. "No, he's not." There was an edge to her voice and Duncan turned around to face her, clearly hearing a challenge in her voice. She wasn't backing down from this position though. She had the right to worry about him. "He's been drinking and getting high with more regularly and now this?" 

"Now this? So what? He's a grown man, he can make his own decisions. So what's one night of getting fucked up? We all do that every once in awhile," Duncan stated flatly, even with a hint of a condescending tone, though it was to contain his own heating irritation. 

"He got so fucked up that he could barely walk without having anyone he knows with him!" She was trying to contain her own growing anger that she wasn't being listened to about something she was very concerned about. "I mean, does he even know what the fuck alcohol can do to you if you have too much? There ar-" 

Duncan sighed and turned on his heel, "Then you talk to him tomorrow." 

That was it, she felt a red hot anger like never before, it tore through her, it was flowing through her veins and it felt like every nerve in her body was alive with it. The type of rage that brought tears of frustration and shaking hands. It came to a head, and she wasn't even aware of the sound of glass breaking behind her. "You're not listening to me! He didn't even fucking remember everything he took! People could be giving him dangerous shit and he doesn't even know it's dangerous!" Duncan had turned to face her, staring at the outburst with an intense gaze, but concern mostly. 

"Your nose," he said as he crossed to her gently cradling her face and wiping under her nose. Blood. She was bleeding. She pushed his hands away and went to grab a paper towel. That's when she saw the broken glass in the sink and Michael wrapping his hand with a towel, that soaking with blood. 

"Oh my god, Michael, are you okay?" She was now a little more concerned with his hand. 

"I'm fine, dove," he reassured her, "The glass just slipped out of my hands while I was washing it. Meanwhile, you," he turned to Duncan, "She has a point. We should talk to him." 

Duncan nodded sheepishly. Now that she had put it like that, and seeing Michael stare him down, he was beginning to feel like an ass. "Alright, we'll do that... Y/N, I'm sorry." 

"Uh huh," she said as she pushed past the both of them go upstairs. 

Duncan held his tongue and sighed deeply, then he turned to Michael. "Is your hand okay?" 

"It will be." Michael's eyes were watching Duncan like a hawk. "You are going to give her a real apology." 

There was defeat written all over his face. He realized he messed up and it took just a glance at Michael to see he was treading on thin ice with the vampire. "Yes, once she can cool off a little. Give her her space." There was something bothering him though. Something he couldn't quite place, well, he couldn't be he didn't want to. Deep down, he so desperately wanted to ignore it, but the timing of the glass breaking and her nose bleed was .... too perfect to be coincidence, at least that's what he thought. 

"Michael," he was walking to the staircase but stopped to turn to other, and Michael hummed in response, "You did," he hesitated for a moment, "You did break the glass right?" 

Michael scoffed, "Of course I did, who else would have?" 

That satisfied Duncan for now, enough that he could face the rest of the night, and so he retreated to the bedroom. 

Luckily for Michael, being dead meant that he didn't bleed terribly much, so the cut on his hand wasn't a concern. No, that wasn't the thing that was turning his stomach. He lied. He had lied out his teeth to both her and Duncan. He hadn't broken that glass. It had seemed to just burst on its own accord. He knew that was impossible, but he knew that that left him with very limited options as to what it could be. 

Duncan and anything Duncan could do wouldn't have caused this, besides him being a dick, but that was a different issue. Michael knew there was no way for him to do it. The dead like him couldn't possess magic like that. That only left one person it could have been, and granted, it was the more logical person given her emotional state, but that led to some very worrying conclusions. 

She had shown no signs of possessing magic before this. Well, her blood tasted divine, no human ever had the right to taste so holy, but that was it. She was just tasty which didn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Witches present their magic much earlier than this, so, that left two options. She had her powers sealed away for some reason or she wasn't a witch, just something else with magic. Both options were very troubling to say the least. 

Dread was filling the pit of his stomach. There was a dangerous suggestion that was creeping into his mind, one he didn't even dare think on too long for fear that he might make that possibility real. If godlings were to exist, it could fit the symptoms, albeit there are only two symptoms that he knows of. He settled on asking Rory tomorrow night, he was the only man he trusted with this information, this suspicion, and he settled on putting it far from his mind until that conversation happened. He didn't even dare let that possibility become too real, though the dread only swirled and grew into a monster that was eating away at all the safety he had built on this rock. 

He sighed, and slowly started picking up the broken shards of the glass. One thing at a time, but he thought it might be wise to bury this in the woods tonight to get rid of any traces that may condemn him or his lover. 

[study-with-nina]

[taken from my blog]

I'm an avid reader. There's nothing I love more than diving into a new novel, whether it be nonfiction about a recent scientific discovery or a centuries-old classic. In 2018 alone, I read 46 books, and started three more that I will finish in the new year. Since making a commitment for my New Year's resolution to read 40 books in 2018, I have read some astonishingly good novels. Here are ten of my favorites, in no particular order.

[in the interest of transparency, I will note that any books purchased through the links provided will provide you with a discount as well as give me a small commission (:]

1. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

This book was actually the first book I read this year, and it still has a special place in my heart. The Book Thief is a story about a young German girl growing up during the Holocaust, and her love of reading that pits her against Hitler's regime. It was refreshingly somber to see the Holocaust era from a new view -- not that of a Jewish person, nor a soldier, but a civilian child growing up surrounded by hate speech and propaganda. Liesel's actions and her love for her little family tugged at my heartstrings many times, and this book is one of the few that makes it onto my "reread someday" list. (P.S., the movie is incredible as well, and is one of the few that seems to follow the book as accurately as possible.)

2. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

I actually finished this book in record time -- I just could not put it down. The Hate U Give is a gritty, realistic view into what it's like to grow up black in America, and the unique set of challenges that black people face in regards to police brutality and everyday racism -- from friends as well as foes. After 17-year-old Starr witnesses her friend's death at the hands of a cop, she must decide whether to keep her mouth shut or risk bringing attention -- mostly negative -- to herself. Who will believe her, anyway? This book was so profoundly impactful while being written in the voice of a teenage girl, conflicted and alone. Definitely one of my top books of all time.

3. Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Honestly, I didn't have high expectations coming into this book. I had seen posters for the movie, and assumed it was just another 3-star read with a profitable idea to make into a movie. I am glad to say that I was wrong. This book, set in the year 2045, follows the adventures of teenager Wade Watts as he navigates the world of the OASIS, an online utopia in which citizens live out their lives, in search of a formidable prize hidden someone in the OASIS's thousands of worlds. Wade is a lower-income resident, and the OASIS is all he has -- so he's willing to risk it all for the chance to win the prize and discover the secret of the online universe's creator. This novel is fast-paced and well-written, and is a must-read for anyone who loves anything 80s, as the challenge is focused around 80s culture. (Call Ferris Bueller -- we're going on one heck of an adventure.)

4. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Despite the books listed previously, I typically tend to read nonfiction or classic literature, and don't often branch out into contemporary fiction. But I had heard rave reviews of Little Fires Everywhere, so I decided to check it out, and it quickly became a favorite of mine. The narrative reminds me of that of East of Eden by John Steinbeck, my favorite novel of all time, in the way that it follows the struggles and interconnectedness of a family, somehow without having an explicitly describable plot ("I don't know, they just...exist") but still managing to pull you in just as deep. Like East of Eden, Little Fires Everywhere follows the story of two very different families: the Richardsons, a large, wealthy family with multiple strong, conflicting personalities; and the Warrens, a small, close-knit mother and daughter duo who never lay roots in any one place. The story has a sort of coming-of-age feel to it, as the lives of the Richardson and Warren teens and their age-appropriate struggles are discussed, but also a hint of mystery as Mrs. Richardson attempts to track down the origins of the mysterious Mia Warren. This book made me laugh, cry, and everything in between, and I was so obsessed that I finished the 11-and-a-half-hour-long audiobook in the span of five days (despite the fact that I worked double shifts most of those days). Again, this book is definitely one of my favorites of all time, and one of the rare stories whose characters you still wonder about long after the book is over.

5. Misbehaving: The Making of Behavioral Economics by Richard H. Thaler

I have never taken an economics course (though I have dabbled in Crash Course videos here and there) and economics is not an important component of either of my majors (Biological Sciences and Political Science). However, this book was so intriguing that I promptly forgot both of those points. Misbehaving is an excellent introduction to behavioral economics, written simply enough that someone with little to no background knowledge in economics (such as myself) can comprehend, but still intricate enough that the material couldn't fit in a ten-minute Youtube video. Thaler, one of the earliest behavioral economists, describes how the subject came into importance among other economic and business-related topics, as well as how its marriage of economic and financial principles and behavioral psychology lend important insights to businesses as well as individuals. The difficulty of the content is offset with plenty of easy-to-understand examples, and the book reads like a history driven by discovery, with reviews of behavioral economics principles along the way. Though the subject of economics is not one that interests me as much as, say, politics or medicine, I still thoroughly enjoyed this book, and would recommend it as an interesting read that serves as a light workout for your brain.

6. The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women” by Kate Moore

I'd be lying if I said this book didn't make me cry multiple times. The Radium Girls is a true story of America's dial painters, the hundreds of young women who painted radium onto watches during the First World War, and the consequences of their position on their health and livelihood. In the days of World War I, jobs for women were few and far between, and becoming a dial painter was the most coveted position among women in their late teens and early twenties, unmarried and looking for some pocket money to buy the latest trends. This narrative follows the story of these dial-painters and how their distinct, omnipresent glow of radium dust went from being wondrous to becoming deadly. As the poisonous radium attacked these young women's bodies, causing them to rapidly and irreparably decay, the radium girls fought for the right to be heard, and to stop the radium industry from pulling any more girls into its vehement trap. This book was deeply heart-wrenching, following the lives of a few bright-eyed young dial painters to their young graves, and a valuable insight into the suppression of women's voices in the early 20th century.

7. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

This novel was another popular book that I didn't expect to enjoy nearly as much as I did. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo is a biography of the life of fictitious movie star Evelyn Hugo, as told to the young and relatively unknown reporter Monique Grant. Evelyn unfurls her story, from escaping poverty to begin her acting career in her late teens, and the myriad of men that came into and left her life across the span of her career and its aftermath. I won't spoil the big twist (or two) that the novel provides, but it most certainly wasn't the "straight bullsh*t" I was expecting based on its title. It is an intense, poignant life of a woman who dared to obtain what she wanted by any means possible, only to discover that her heart lied elsewhere.

8. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

This book was a humorous yet momentous glance into the life of a woman named Eleanor Oliphant, who is perfectly fine, thank you very much. Eleanor doesn't really fit in at the office; her harsh realism and her inability to understand social cues make that quite difficult. But that's fine, because Eleanor has it all planned out. Every week, she follows the same plan, never deviating from her schedule of Wednesday night calls with Mummy, Friday night frozen pizzas, and sleeping off a vodka hangover every Saturday morning. However, when Eleanor and her coworker Raymond save the life of an elderly gentleman who fell near them on their way to work one day, Eleanor's life begins to change in profound ways, and she realizes that maybe "fine" isn't the best way to be, after all. Eleanor's story was touching yet hilarious, and was yet another novel that I could not put down. For anyone looking for a novel starring an out-of-the-ordinary heroine and lacking a predictable romance component, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine is the novel for you.

9. The President is Missing by Bill Clinton and James Patterson

This fast-paced, gritty novel breaks the wall between the life of a president and the nation, and introduces us to the world of Washington politics and the counterterrorism approach. The President is Missing follows President Duncan, a tenacious war veteran, as he attempts to circumvent impeachment trials brought forth by members of the opposite party while maintaining the secret of a massive, nation-decimating cyber threat from the citizens of the U.S. This narrative is fast-paced, with twists and turns at every stop, and kept me guessing until the end what the outcome would be. The novel reads like a classic James Patterson thriller with the added expertise of a former president to reveal the intricacies of American politics and the battles of the elites.

10. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain

My final novel is one that I finished a mere four days prior to writing this post, but one that already has a special place in my heart. Quiet explores the world of introverts, from their underrepresentation in U.S. culture and their hidden talents unique from extroverts. Though I identify as an ambivert (both extroverted and introverted), I felt this was an incredible analysis into the powers of introverts, and why American society should stop trying to force the extrovert ideal on those that are not born to be extroverted. I particularly enjoyed how Cain drew in principles of biology, psychology, and business, and described not only how introverts are wired differently from birth, but their benefits to jobs that are even as high-stakes and fast-paced as the stock market. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who struggles with introversion (if you dread speaking in front of a class, this is probably you) or anyone interested in the biological basis of personality and behavior.

Out of the 46 books I read in 2018, those are the ones that have stood out to me the most, and I would certainly recommend each and every one of them. If you would like more book recommendations, feel free to ask -- I'm always reading something new! Happy new year!

[marybeatriceofmodena]

(1/2) I agree with everything you say but I'm too afraid to say so myself. Especially because if you don't agree 100% with how Rey is being portrayed, folks think you're being misogynistic. I wish we could be more open to discussion. You can love a movie or a character and still don't agree with certain aspects of them. For example, yes, Kylo became Supreme Leader, but his "victory" was undermined 5 minutes later when Luke trolled him in front of the fo and what was left of the resistance.

continued: (2/2) His win felt like a loss, which is a good thing for redemption, but it means two failures in a row nonetheless. In other hand, Rey’s biggest loss was being wrong about Ben Solo and her parents. Yes, she made mistakes but they didn’t bring her consequences she wasn’t able to overtake in the same movie. At the end, her bad choices don’t stop her from becoming the resistance savior. It feels like she can’t do no wrong, which makes it hard to sympathize with her as much as I can with Kylo.

*

Well, I think the problem why people are a bit more “jumpy” is that there have been a lot of bad takes - on both sides of the debate. I’ve seen some pretty bad anti-Rey/pro-Ben takes myself. Like, I prefer seeing them as two flawed individuals who ended up fucking it all up because of their flaws, and because of a lack of communication? 

I might also be influenced by how star-crossed lovers stories usually go: it often happens that lovers in star-crossed romances are separated due to outdated or bad societal conventions - that’s actually EXACTLY what happened with Anakin and Padmé. And honestly, if I was writing IX, I’d follow Rose’s words about “saving what we love, not destroying what we hate” to heart, and have the war end not by the Noble Resistance/Rebellion defeating the Evil First Order/Empire (because c’mon, it’s the OT all over again, you can do better), but by people overcoming their differences, working together, and ultimately show how absurd war is. 

That’s what TLJ was about, especially in respects to the Finnrose plot: both Finn and Rose discover that the people behind the war machine don’t care about who’s the bigger dog in the galaxy and all that matters is your own personal gain - and the First Order, as well as the Resistance, all play a part in oiling that machine. Not to mention that Solo was basically an introduction to the underground crime world, who also make their profits out of weapon dealing, so I don’t think that was a coincidence. 

That’s not to say you shouldn’t stand against oppression and injustice - you absolutely should, since the opposite would be going against what Star Wars has always been about. 

But war is what has always been the cause of every single trial the heroes went through: war is what provoked the Clone Wars, initiated the enslavement of millions of men because they were clones; war is what led Ahsoka Tano to leave what was the equivalent of her family behind after the irreparable had been done; war is what eventually drove Anakin Skywalker to become Darth Vader, and killed Padmé; war is why Luke and Leia grew up and never knew who their real parents are; war is why Luke’s aunt and uncle were killed in a gruesome matter, just for being indirectly implied with a matter they wanted no part in; war is what killed not only Leia’s adoptive parents, but her entire planet as well; war is what killed people like Jyn, Cassian or Bodhi before they were given a chance to actually live a peaceful life; war is eventually what tore Han and Leia apart, destroyed Luke’s work of a lifetime, and drove Ben to the Dark side. 

So… wouldn’t it be fitting that the war is won not by a big epic battle of good vs. evil… but people coming together to pursue a common goal, and not care about clans and factions and all the like… but like the Rogue One team, do it even if you have the whole galaxy against you because it’s the right thing to do? 

If it was up to me, I’d have Rey, Ben, Finn and Rose team up and plan to take down the First Order from the inside, because it’s the best way at this point to end it all. Rey does it because she has decided to become part of Ben’s life and, to become part of his family and also finding the belonging she always longed for, she helps take down the very organization that tore them apart in the first place, but this time, with Ben, without any conditions, as equals. Ben does it because he realizes on his own that like for people like Finn, Rose, and all the Stormtroopers, the First Order has ruined his life. And if he wants to help establish a new order and make the galaxy a better place, the First Order has to go too. Finn does it because he doesn’t want to fight against his brothers and sisters in arms, and because they, too, want to be free and have lives of their own. And he accepts to do it alongside Ben because he may not understand why Rey loves him, but he trusts her. And Rose does it because in every child who has been indoctrinated by the First Order, she can see Finn in them, and with her planet being enslaved, she realizes that, well, it could have been her. 

* 

And to get to the rest of your ask… yes, Ben is sympathetic because as much as he’s an asshole, you understand why he’s the way he is. Of course he messes up. Of course he gets humiliated. He needs all those things in order to be able to grow, understand his mistakes, and learn. THAT’S what makes him sympathetic. 

Rey… obviously, she learns what really went down between Luke and Ben, which makes her realize that when it comes to heroes and villains, it’s not always the way it seems. So far, so good, and it’s actually brilliantly done. The problem is that as I said for her rescue plan, while her heart was totally at the right place, the plan itself… honestly needed more work, and Ben pretty much had to save her ass. 

And look, I’m a-okay with Rey being impulsive, jumping to conclusions, heading head first into trouble - it makes a lot of sense with her background and characterization. It doesn’t make her unlikeable AT ALL, it just makes her a fully fledged character. The problem here is when those flaws aren’t treated as such - and that’s what’s frustrating, lol. But ya know, it’s a writing problem. Not a problem with the character specifically. 

So if she can do no wrong… how can you “sympathize” with her? Because “sympathizing” with someone implies that either they’ve done something bad, either they’re involved in a touchy situation, either they’re affected by a bad situation. 

And sure, you can argue she got her heart broken - but my issue is that the movie doesn’t show that. All it took was one little scene where she leaves the Throne Room teary-eyed, looking at Ben but turning away. Instead, straight after the Throne Room fight… next time we see her is her being all happy-go-happy while shooting TIE fighters. So because of that, it makes her look like she doesn’t care - which is not what you should be going for, lol. 

But again, to know whether it’s a bad writing decision or not, we’ll have to wait until IX. But all I want Rey to realize is that in order to help Ben, and help the galaxy against the First Order, she can’t drag Ben around, and she can’t expect him to just follow her around because she thinks she’s right or her heart is at the right place. She needs to work WITH HIM. Ya know, do the couple thingy, like, TALK. COMMUNICATE. 

[ogradyfilm]

Bodies Bodies Bodies: Burying the Lede

[The following review contains MAJOR SPOILERS; YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!]

[Seriously, I LITERALLY GIVE AWAY THE ENDING IMMEDIATELY BELOW THE BREAK; THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!]

Bodies Bodies Bodies is a slasher flick that lacks an actual killer.

The first “victim,” as we discover in the film’s closing moments, wasn’t truly murdered; he accidentally slit his own throat while—in a drunken stupor, naturally—attempting to open a bottle of champagne with a decorative sword. The rest of the violence—an escalating series of false assumptions, misguided accusations, and bitter betrayals that culminates in lives lost and relationships irreparably shattered—was merely the result of a ridiculous misunderstanding.

That premise would be a brilliant narrative hook—the perfect elevator pitch—were it not also inherently self-spoiling. Any worthwhile discussion about the movie's central thesis—its venomously satirical deconstruction of privilege, performative activism, and the innate narcissism of the social media generation—will inevitably revolve entirely around the Big Twist... which, consequently, makes it difficult to sell to potential viewers. Indeed, the final punchline lands so spectacularly that it manages to diminish the quality of the surrounding material, rather than elevating the overall plot (which is otherwise comparatively unimaginative and formulaic). Ultimately, the ending is the only real trick that the story has to offer; everything else feels insubstantial, existing only to pad out the running time.

Thus, Bodies Bodies Bodies’ postmodernism is both its greatest strength and its most significant weakness. It's simply too clever for its own good; its emphasis on theme at the expense of structure  renders it essentially impossible to properly advertise.

In other words: don’t produce a black comedy unless you can safely let the intended audience in on the joke.

[ruwithmeguys]

(These are just my own personal; thoughts: you may take zero seriousness in them - I may add to this)

So… John. Right.

Give me a moment…

There’s a lot, so much, to dig into here. It feels good to be talking about OTA, especially after months of newbies weirdness.

I need to air this out.

I posted something recently about my love for this show even with its many weaknesses. I still love it. I enjoyed 6.17, as god awful as it was to see Oliver being dragged through the mud again. I also don’t agree with Diggle; not with his words, because he didn’t suggest a thing: he has 100% made a decision about Oliver and it isn’t a good one. The path he’s decided to travel down however… is.

Bear with me?

For a while now, it’s been very clear that Arrow is the kind of show that gives good results but can’t seem to get a handle on the journey there. The journey often sucks: it’s either badly written, angst for the sake of angst, sacrificing character progression or just something you don’t want to see.

Best examples are: Oliver’s 7 episode lie leading to the Baby Mama drama, just to set Olicity back awhile because they knew S5 wouldn’t be the last season. The newbies drawn out reason for blaming Oliver for leaving the team just so that they could bring it up every 5 seconds for 5 episodes straight. LL’s BC arc where Sara was a plot device and then the arc died and nothing came of it.

It’s not always like this. There are good examples.

Tommy’s death led to the entirety of season 2. Olicity’s star-crossed season: a literal entire season near-dedicated to it and the journey was sweet etc.

But there have been enough moments for me to know that I might hate the newbie arc several episodes before it started. Too many components + little time = question-marks.

The term, ‘the ends don’t justify the means’, seems to only pertain to Oliver on Arrow… and Felicity. In a way, that’s a compliment to her. They’re equals. Of a higher status. But for the most part, it’s unfair. And every season it seems to be the theme. Make Oliver loose everyone, one way or another.

The newbies lashed out time and time again, then hurting John when all they really wanted was out from under Oliver’s shadow. John is ready for more, ready for weight, but he gets it by hurting his best friend 6.17. BS has killed people both for pleasure and to save her skin and yet, has received no consequence (though having Quentin’s stalker-like obsession with trying to force his daughter’s personality on her, might be deemed one) because you can’t change an individual who doesn’t see the issue with their own actions.

They all do it, all reaching for progression, more often than not by throwing Oliver’s mistakes in his face, but why do they get to get away with that? And why is Oliver the target for their choices?

Unfortunately, since I’ve been wondering about this since the start of S3, I know I won’t get what I want. Maybe not ever, but definitely not now. But this isn’t why I’m talking about this.

The point is, I understand where the writers and show runners are taking Dig. We should enjoy it greatly. But he’s done it, deliberately, by pushing Oliver into a dark corner and that’s left a bitter taste. It didn’t need to be this happy, peppy thing. But why use Oliver as a source of blame for wanting a change? For wanting more?

He lashed out. There’s a reason for it beyond plot device - it was probably one of the worst ways they could have done this.

Dig. Is. Done. With. OTA.

With being a member and not a leader.

Let’s put it into perspective.

For 6 years John has covered Oliver’s back, has followed orders and has joined in the making of them. He’s agreed/disagreed with Oliver and stood back as Oliver saved the day or made the wrong choices. But for the first time, in 5.23, John was physically and irreparably hurt by someone fixated on Oliver. Diggle and everyone else, was stranded on an island because a mad man wanted Oliver to suffer.

A mad man who’s father Oliver had made the decision to kill years before.

Not for the first time, John’s life was affected by Oliver. But for the first time, John has a reason to feel resentment. Because of Adrian, he could no longer shoot a gun, making his only real life vocation – being a soldier in some shape or form – mute. Null. Done. Imagine the fear. Fair or not, in his head Oliver is at the centre of that.

For several months, he kept it from people because he couldn’t face the very real possibility that he might be made redundant. That he was unreliable.

A very SELFISH decision (keep this in mind please). The wrong decision. But it was also, understandable. He’s human and he was terrified of letting people know. It’s why he’s forgiven later on. However.

Oliver gave him the suit and something small, grew large in John.

It had nothing to do with the suit and everything to do with what it entailed. In John’s opinion, Oliver ‘gave up’ being the Green Arrow. This was so wishful thinking. 

It wasn’t permanent. But he hoped it was and acted like it was and decided that it was. Without talking to anyone. It switched a light on in Diggle; he realised what he wanted and he thought Oliver was giving it to him… because he thought - wished - Oliver had seen that he’d lost the efficacy to lead.

Now this is where it takes a slight detour from understandable to egocentric.

After being given the title, he does everything he can to keep it. He takes drugs, gets addicted. After seeing Felicity’s chair-arc being so quickly and neatly (unrealistically) tied up, we all knew the same would happen here and it did. But it left John with a feeling. Oliver had stepped away… for reasons Dig deems selfish now.

Now, when I found that out I flipped my shit because, dude – you have a family too? You left the team too?? You’ve prioritised your own wants/wishes above everyone else’s more than once??? Why doesn’t it apply????

But for Dig, it’s also about Oliver being spread too thin and, well, years of things left unsaid. Years of memories being seen in a new light and when you have to do that you validate things, it gets a little screwy.

John has very clearly had things building up inside him. Maybe it’s just been this season. Maybe it’s been longer but for sure, Adrian Chase plays a part in this.

It doesn’t give him the right throw any of it back in Oliver’s face when he was an active participant in every single thing that’s happened over the years. Oliver even says it:

“When did all these magically become my decisions? I seem to remember you. Right there. Next to me.”

And he says a few other things too:

“My trail of bodies didn’t include my own brother.”

Whelp. Normally I’d be all – TOO FAR OLIVER – but Dig started this unfairly. Prepare to meet even colder truths dude. It’s not a nice feeling is it?

John waited for Oliver to hand back the title of GA because deep down, he thinks Oliver can’t hack the leadership role anymore and you know what? Maybe he can’t. Maybe he has spread himself too thin. Maybe he needs to re-evaluate. But who is John to make that decision?

The problem is that John has lost faith in Oliver’s ability to get it back. That confidence. And if he’s lost faith in Oliver then, how can he stay?

And so, a fight ensues.

And so, Oliver finds out the truth: his best friend no longer has his back, because suddenly, John doesn’t think Oliver is a good leader. Suddenly he knows better.

Now, we all figured that John’s NEED to be GA was something beyond the mask. Either, he wanted to be more than what he was and he was feeling repressed. It was residual anger at being hurt by Oliver’s enemy (in which case, it would be solved by the end of 6.17). Or… it was EGO and the hood was just a symbol of something else. I didn’t want it to be the latter.

Of course, that means it would be the latter.

David mentioned 5.08 recently. He said that DIggle was the GA and that it was interesting but it didn’t necessarily mean the suit. It meant being a hero by himself. He also said - for people who have hated his line about 5.08 being the dream reality - was that Oliver was able to make right his wrongs to LL who, after his father, he felt the most guilt for. That literally was the title for S5. Make right his wrongs.

CONFIRMATION IS BEAUTIFUL.

Ahem.

In a way, maybe it’s all three but it definitely leads closer to ego.

It’s a legitimate reason too, wrapped up in this steady feeling of disapproval he’s been passively omitting since the start of S6. Not the one we necessarily wanted. Not a good one. But it’s a legit reason. And it doesn’t tarnish Dig’s character exactly. What it does do, is diverts John’s trajectory away from OTA. But it adds an element of… is it superiority, selfishness or the kind of judgement he only threw at Oliver once (4.01)?

But the writers put Diggle on a pedestal, one we’ve enjoyed: he’s Yoda. He’s supposed to see the wisdom and rightness of everything. He’s supposed to be fair. He’s not supposed to do this.

I’m glad he did. (I mean, where was his story headed save in a cycle?)

I’m NOT glad about how he did it. 

How he did it was cruel. And utterly undeserved. Ugly, even.

I mean, he had to remind Oliver of the death of William’s mother as a way of justifying his reasoning. It’s almost conceit isn’t it? 

When I mention ego, I mean this: Dig got a taste of what it meant to be in Oliver’s shoes and found that he not only liked it, but developed a sense of self that can be likened to pride or arrogance but is actually growth overshadowed by the brutal way he puts it forward.

But it’s supposed to be negative.

We’re not supposed to see this well... YET.

Maybe next season the writers/show runners etc will allow Oliver to succeed and for the blame to be thrown at someone else but this year, I think it’s about Oliver being a hero… alone.

With Felicity in his ear, yes, but: alone.

Like season 1, but inverted.

Dig’s ready to move on but it looks more like he’s disappointed in Oliver… for not being great? For having more than one vocation? For trying? I mean, at least acknowledge that.

And he does, to a degree. He tells Oliver that ‘it’s true that you’ve become a better person’. Gee. But, in becoming a better person he’s become a worse leader… because of the methods he used to become a better person?

Wow John. Didn’t realise two months as Oliver after taking drugs makes you the guru of leader-hood. In fact, seeing him as the leader of the team made me see all the ways he shouldn’t be the leader of THAT team. Another team, sure. He’s a good leader. But not the right person.

(I mean, it’s hugely hypocritical to tell Oliver he’s a bad leader when John was taking drugs as the leader. When he put people in danger because of it. But sure, Oliver’s a bad leader.)

That being said, John already had a wealth of experience before the very first season of Arrow. As a solider and a leader, just not a vigilante. Now he has both so maybe he feels righteous in believing he can do better, but did he have to walk over his best friend to do it?

That fight last night wasn’t just ego; it came from anger. Resentment. Disappointment. A six year build of opposing beliefs. I’ve felt this very passive aggressive impression from John/David throughout season 6 so far, so when details for 6.17 came out, I thought the worst. This isn’t just a team split, this is permanent guys.

Don’t worry; they’ll get their friendship back… eventually. Not yet, because they both said and did things that hurt far too much for it to happen all at once. But I’m not sure he’ll ever be in the team again.

We’ll have OTA too at some point (S7?). But after this, Dig re-joining as a team member would undermine his clear wish to grow beyond the parameters his character’s been given the last few years. It’s good that they’re having him join Argus. More SL’s for characters we care for.

And… didn’t Oliver mention it (his words and actions) being out of character?

Which means, it’s deliberate. THEY KNOW. The whole thing. They know we’ll hate it. They’re doing to keep them all apart, to make it more a bad thing at the moment, to give Diggle more story - but most of all - they’re doing it to make Oliver rise ALONE. With Felicity, sure; but still alone.

And I think they’re aiming for Diggle to start his own team. Maybe the new Suicide Squad? He’s worked with them before. The point is, we’ve got these two alpha males who can more than handle business and unfortunately, Diggle’s SL could no longer grow in the basement, not when he can be more.

He needs to spread his wings, a development I’m all for. Imagine Argus and Olicity working together in S7?

But they’ve made it come at a cost: it makes a lot of us look at Diggle and think, ‘why the hell would you do that?’

It all stems back to how his injury made him feel months ago. And when you’re alone in your hurt, you’re an outsider. You see things differently to others and he’s seen a side to Oliver that he doesn’t like.

But he’s not just turning away from Oliver; he’s turning away from Felicity. From Diaz. And that wasn’t necessary. He’s put himself first but only after lecturing Oliver on his selfishness.

He’s allowed to fall down.

But he’s metaphorically and literally crapped on the last 6 years of their work – not by walking away – but by throwing decisions that they all made and blaming the results and ramifications solely on Oliver and used it to explain his need to leave.

Yet he also made a good point: he makes us and Oliver think of how other people see us as opposed to what we want them to see. It’s the rudest awakening. He can’t grow being there with Oliver. Some people know in seconds what they need. Others take 6 years. 

I’m down for this.

It’s supposed to be a big shock: that Dig suddenly does this. Says things that he wouldn’t normally say and though Oliver does address that, John’s reason wasn’t enough for me. I don’t think we’re supposed to be ok with Diggle at the moment. And I’m not.

But I’m weirdly good with not being.

I need to watch the season in full before I make a complete assessment.

And I don’t think we’re supposed to be ok with the newbies either.

By giving Diggle the suit, Oliver showed faith and trust. Respect. In return, he’s rewarded with disrespect and a lack of that same faith he’d offered.

The newbies did the same.

Now Stephen and David acted their ass’s off – they give a shit about this. There’s a reason we don’t know about yet.

Remember what we were told at the beginning of S6?

Unlike previous seasons, every character would need help/advice, be lost at sea or hurt in some way. Oliver would be their coach, their anchor, their teacher.

That doesn’t just stop.

They’ve all renounced his wisdom, teachings and faith in them, found him lacking, believing him a hypocrite who isn’t as good as he thinks he is.

Now, there have been times where Oliver has been a hypocrite. When he found out about a mole in the team, his FIRST action should have been to let them know. To bring them all together and say ‘I know and I’m giving whoever it is 24 hours to come tell me, after which I will start infringing on your privacy because I have a son to think about’.

Instead, he misused their trust and even cornered Dinah.

Because of that, they lost faith in him.

He did not deserve how they reacted after the fact. 

(May I also remind that Diggle AGREED with his plan to abuse their trust? Bad leader skills Dig. Oh wait.)

He definitely does not deserve the accusations Diggle threw at him. But he does need to re-evaluate. He hasn’t made great decisions. But he hasn’t earned THIS level of scorn.

So, clearly, he’s going to be outed as the GA.

It comes back to the start of the season.

Either someone will do it to hurt him or he’ll do it, for them all but also himself. He’ll do it, because HE Is the GA. He’ll do it because prison beckons. He’ll do it to save them all. He’ll be THE hero. And he’ll face the consequences.

This season is a very reactive season. Oliver hasn’t really done any huge thing people need to be appalled at: it’s like people are looking at months, years, of choices and deciding they no longer agree with him.

The only person he’ll have on his side now is Felicity.

I’m glad she agreed with Oliver. I’m glad they showed her trying to bridge the ever-growing gap between Oliver and Diggle that’s been present since 6.07 (yup – back then). And even though he’ll lash out at her in the next episode, they’ll fix it quick because he’s going to take on Diaz alone. Not necessarily without her but since he can’t trust anyone BUT her, it will make sense to him to keep her out of it (I think... maybe??).

I hated hearing Diggle say what he said.

I hated that he thought Oliver stating that the hood was/is a part of him (of course it is) was selfish and made him a bad leader.

I hated the gap between Diggle wanting the hood to this because of the newbie arc as it left us all a little perplexed to the level of heat in Dig’s argument.

I hated another character dumping on him. Blaming him. Making it all Oliver’s fault. 

And yet... I liked the episode. I really like this season.

I don’t think they’ve sacrificed Dig’s character. I think they’ve deliberately changed it. 

I DO think they’ve made Dig say and do things that Oliver won’t be able to forgive for a while.

Oliver won’t want his help. Or the newbies help. And Felicity will be petrified, because her greatest fear is loosing him and she’s going to be forced to face it in one way or another.

It is the curse of Arrow. Eventually we are given a plot in each season that we disagree with. But it’s miles better than an episode of the canaries screaming at each other. I really did enjoy it. I’m just not on Dig’s side (though his scenes with Lyla were spot on).

And I like the idea of Diggle joining Argue and everything it entails. I’ve kind of wanted Diggle to split form Oliver for a while and I can see so many good SL’s coming from this in S7.

“If you feel the need to make someone feel less assured of themselves or have to call another person out, you may gain a false sense of superiority.” ― Kristin Michelle Elizabeth

Jessica’s ramble ends here.