#this would be an absolutely phenomenal 10/10 experience

[uncaught-coolfish]

fuck i wanna rewatch andor again

[riverssongs13]

Obviously I love Harrowhark and I worship the very ground she treads upon, and I'm glad we've established that. But I finally got to the SOUP and hot damn!

Have you any idea how difficult it is to properly make bone broth reduction? She didn't even use proper meat, she siphoned MARROW from her own bones, and created essentially jus. And that's coming from someone who knows ass about cooking! They have ✨GRUEL✨ at the Ninth House—that's about as gourmet as they get.

You're telling me there's this infant who wouldn't know the difference between beef mutton veal or pork, who looks like she hasn't been fed properly in any of her 18 years of existence, spent 6 days reading instructional materials on complex, restaurant-grade cooking, and essentially made bourguignon from scratch? Granted she panicked and drowned it in too much water, but SHE KNEW NOT TO ADD A FUCK TON OF SALT, something people with no cooking experience would definitely do.

AND! AND! AND! Used that very same, watered down soup as delivery method for an assassination attempt! WTF! GENIUS. Fucking inspired, man.

If I were Jod, I, too, would have my mind blown. The level of genius this absolute madwoman has is phenomenal it should be studied. Giving Ianthe the arm is another feat of Harry's inherent bone talents, but that's just something to be expected. SOUP! Fucking soup, man. Something a line cook with 10 yrs experience could still fumble on in a bad day.

[rubra-wav]

Hiya! I absolutely loved your posts about the HH main cast dealing with a sick reader and them being sick. You did a phenomenal job with them!

As for a request, what about Vox, hell’s resident bipedal tv, hc’s of him realizing he’s legitimately falling for reader?

Vox realises he has feelings for you

A/N : Thank you so much seriously!! 💛

Cw: SFW, gn!reader, suggestive comment at one point, angst-ish/ Vox coping

- It'll be a good long time before he realises he's fallen for you, and when he finally does, he's fully in it. There's no turning back and there's no backpedalling. He's absolutely whipped.

- It hits him one day like a train that he's actually in love with you all at once.

- He hung out with you the afternoon, and that night he's laying on his back with his phone gripped in his hand against his chest.

- It's been exactly 3 and a half hours since you were out together on a movie date at the VIP premiere. (as in in the ridiculously lavish movie room he had within Vee tower)

- He had been counting.

- You hadn't texted him back yet, and he was tapping his claw impatiently waiting for you to message him back with the world's biggest pout on his face.

- He'd already sent 4 texts, and none of them had been answered yet. He had to stop himself from sending more because he didn't want to seem too desperate. (Even though he was)

- He told himself he'd be mad that you had made him wait whenever you got back to him. He'd blow up over it.

- However, the second his phone buzzes and he sees the notification from you saying you had fun and were sorry you hadn't gotten back immediately it's like his dopamine receptors have been kicked into absolute overdrive.

- He's giddy. Warmth is flooding his chest, and he starts breathing heavier as the world's dorkiest smile spreads across his face.

- It isn't then that he realises exactly, but it's when you leave to go to sleep after texting him for a couple of hours with a flirtatious comment that has his head spinning and sparking.

- You were talking about how you'd washed your sheets that day and were making your bed. He acted like he was bored, and your next words absolutely took him out.

- "Fine. Next time, come over, and I'll spread you out on my bed then."

- When he calms down, it's messed up again as he's questioning himself.

- Why did I glitch out to them saying something that resembles a shitty pick-up line? Why did I count every minute that passed the second you went home? Why do I feel like I'm on drugs the second you pay me the slightest bit of attention.

- OH FUCK -

- He goes through all stages of grief as he realises he's in love with you in a single second and ends up causing a blackout in his bedroom in the process.

- When he roboots, he holds his head in his hands and chugs delulu juice instantly feels absolutely terrified.

- It's humiliating for him to have such delicate feelings, let alone for someone who surely doesn't feel the same way. His experiences with real, genuine romantic love for other people have hardly ended well.

- He likely tries to distance himself from you because he's scared of the fact he is so attached to you.

- It's been ages and ages of being attached to you but he's only fully realised - or at least fully acknowledged the extent of that attachment.

- His distance from you is shortly lived however as he craves you and your presence so badly he's disgusted at himself.

- He would not be the one to confess 9 times out of 10.

- Even if it's glaringly obvious you are also into him, he copes so fucking hard he's actually delusional with the excuses he makes about it.

- He basically friendzones HIMSELF.

- You could kiss him on the cheek or hold his hands in yours or cup his face lovingly and he would be there glitching while thinking about how you must just be like this with everyone else-

- He's charismatic, charming, and can often read everyone around him like an open book - analyse their behaviours, true intentions, expressions, thoughts under it all, etc.

- But he's so terribly stupid with love.

- You need to confess to him first most likely and he'll probably still think you're bullshitting him.

- Literally finds every reason of why you aren't in love with him and tries to twist everything that way.

- Even when he's in love, he wants it to be reciprocated obviously. The thought of it not being requited as he expects is embarrassing at best.

- But, he's genuinely probably even more terrified of what that means if you do love him back.

- It's easier if you don't love him back for him because he's scared of the way you might further bring out whatever imperfections and vulnerability he's shown you already after actually being in a relationship with you.

- He craves being in a relationship with you and the security you could bring him to expose those parts of himself he desperately conceals with masks resting on masks, but also its deeply unnerving to him simultaneously.

Infuriating watching the process of this man actually realising he's in love for real, honestly 😭

[momoliee]

Here Is Why You Should Read Priest’s Modern Danmeis :

As much as i love priest’s period novels, i absolutely adore her more recent, modern novels even more. You can tell that her writing style has completely changed as she grew and gained more experience, giving an edge to her work. I definitely believe her modern books NEED to be as popular as her wuxia ones cause COME ON?

(i’ve written in depth reviews on my page for each title i mention)

First, my absolute all time favorite, one of my top 3, Mo Du :

I’ve read this series a total of two times so far, and I’m about to read it a third time cause it’s just that good. And here’s the thing, i almost NEVER reread or rewatch stuff ok.

Fei Du is one of the most complex characters that i’ve encountered in my reading experience, with the worst type of mental trauma that i could come across. His relationship with Luo Wenzhou is one of the most enjoyable and perhaps, priest’s best written romance. Theyre both equally flirtatious, equally bold, their back and forth bickering is full of sexual tension and their progression from enemies to lovers is IMPECCABLE.

And the plot? PHENOMENAL. The BEST mystery and thriller detective series that I’ve ever encountered, with each book having it’s own individual mystery, and no two mysteries are similar. From child trafficking to serial killers to drug dens and even terrorism….you name it. Each arc is well crafted, and by the end, you’ll truly be able to sigh in satisfaction. For priest to be able ro make you enjoy both the romance and the plot equally…shes a genius. a 27/10.

Trigger warnings: this book discusses heavy topics such as pedophilia, rape, drug abuse, suicide, self harm, and a lot of similar topics

Next: Can Ci Pin:

Her most underrated work and i cant even begin to understand why. I mean yes it takes place in outer space in a futuristic society where people live for around 200 years across the span of 8 galaxies (not there are no aliens, but there are concepts such as ais and robots) but like….you’ve all read sha po lang with its steampunk theme and you all KNOW just how good priest is at world building. Dare i say, priest is the best danmei author when it comes to world building.

Yes, this is perhaps her slowest and longest piece of work and i get why so many would get bored after the second book. But here’s the thing, ccp has one of the most complicated worlds and plot. the plot is actually one of the most confusing and heavy plots that i’ve encountered. so in order for the story not to fall apart, it was very necessary for priest to spend the first two novels and half world building as well as slowly laying out a proper foundation for the plot. That way, when she starts speeding up the pace, you are basically a pro who doesn’t need to backtrack, reread or double check anything. By the time i was done with the third novel, i felt like i knew everything about space politics, wars between galaxies, Ai and microchips, and everything in between. And that’s saying something cause im an IDIOT when it comes books and shows politics ok.

In this series, priest has seriously invested into every single side character, even those who’ve been dead since before the series even started. With extensive backstories, each and every single character grows on you as much as the main pair if not more, and you fall in love with the found family priest created as well as all the characters who are only talked about in flashbacks and past tense. Another favorite part about this series.

Now the main characters and the romance….chefs kiss. Lu Bixing has one of the BEST character arcs that i’ve come across. He starts off as this bright sunshine boy, goes through hell, becomes this depressed cynical man then finds his way back to his old self again all in the span of the novel itself. Being able to go through the pain with him then watch him heal, makes you very attached to this baby. Li Jingheng my all time cold prince biggest crush ok i love him. Their romance was SOO entertaining cause EVERYONE was rooting for them and everyone played matchmaker and wingman with them it was HILARIOUS. The comedy was top notch, the second hand embarrassment was real, but it made the reading experience feel much more organic idk i just enjoyed myself so much and laughed so hard. 20/10

Trigger warnings: human trafficking and experimentation, self harm and suicide

Third : Lie Huo Jiao Chou

Xuan Ji’s wings of flame are the highlight of the series ok. Almost every single scene has him whipping his wings out just to show off and his boyfriend eats it up everytime ok.

I absolutely love the amnesiac plot line where two past lovers meet again and yet are unable to recognize each other. Yet, slowly, as they spend more and more time together and one of them starts regaining his memories, the pining and longing begins. And oh does Xuan Ji YEARNS in the most beautiful way possible. And once they BOTH regain their memories in full, the angst is just the cherry on top. Being unable to resist each other yet still trying to pull away, the tension, trying to hold back…delicious.

The plot is so easy to keep up with and enjoy too. Both the story taking place 3,000 years ago and the one in present time are equally entertaining, where we see scenes of war and tomb raiding and investigations and a little bit of magic too. The visuals are fantastic, and the contrast between the two parallel settings is new and refreshing as a concept. 8/10

Trigger warning: main characters experience severe child abuse and neglect

Fourth : Guardian

Guardian is the most popular out of priest’s modern novels so i dont feel the need to say much.

Guardian discusses heavy topics such as death and what’s beyond. With an element of mystery where an investigation team search after where dead souls are being stolen to or why some souls are being sucked out of living people, the premises has an element of horror and goth that gives it this edge. Coolest ghost story around.

The main cast is also a hilarious bunch, and you sort of grow attached to the entire office especially a fat black talking cat. 7/10

Trigger warning: death and murder

I hope this is enough to convince you all to check out more and more of pipi’s work. Yes, sha po lang, lord 7, faraway wanderers and fuyao sect are amazing…but if you haven’t read priest’s modern work then yall are missing out ok. that’s it for now xxx

[anarachussy]

DAN AND PHIL TERRIBLE INFLUENCE TOUR REVIEW. NO MAJOR SPOILERS (but you have been warned)

General: Absolutely hilarious, even if you have no clue who they are. The humor is very well balanced between goofy and raunchy.

Technical elements were incredible. If you have epilepsy uhhh well.. The set was very fitting for the purposes of the show. They had an aesthetic in mind, and they killed it.

One of the biggest draws of the show is their dynamic. I have never seen two people build off each other on stage as well as they do. You can very clearly tell they are partners before performers, and the level of comfortableness they have with each other enhances the experience.

Another huge selling point of the show is its interactive nature. The audience is literally vital to the show, and that is an incredibly good feeling to have as a viewer. They make you feel special, because to them you are special. It’s very fitting to have that level of engagement as influencers, especially ones with such a dedicated fanbase.

The atmosphere is absolutely unreal.

Before the show I had lost excitement over seeing it, as I had no friends that really watched them, so I thought I’d be lonely. Every video advertising the show Dan and Phil said something along the lines of “meet new people!” “You can go alone and still have a great time!” “You could bring your mom!” I kinda brushed it off as them trying to encourage sales.

They are telling the truth.

I have never witnessed such a level of kindness, friendliness, acceptance, and overall joy in one room in my life. I sat down and immediately the entire row started introducing themselves. The people next to me commented along with me. I sighed a copy of YWGTTN and took pictures with other fans. (I was somehow in the TikTok where it’s like: I hope they “play hot to go!” And I was like “this is Dan and Phil”.)

The connection between fans is hands down the most important part of this show. If you are going to see the show and you are maybe a little self conscious, you have absolutely nothing to worry about, you will feel loved.

Individually:

Dan is a phenomenal performer. He has a MASSIVE presence on stage, even when he isn’t yapping. His movements, especially his dancing, are VERY clean, you know he knows what he’s doing. He is a master at crowd work. You can tell he loves it.

Phil’s it factor is his energy. He perfectly balances out Dan’s chaos, sometimes with his own chaos. He is effortlessly funny, and his comedic timing is impeccable. He is genuinely such a lovely person, and he radiates the level of positivity people need. Incredibly infectious. You can also tell he loves it.

Minor criticisms:

I personally would have liked the confession segment to last a little longer.

I feel like Act 2 could have had maybe one more segment, but hey man it was also 10:45 at night, Phil needs to get to bed.

That’s it. The show was great.

[annawayne]

TOP 10 favourite AA fanfics?

Hello!

Thank you for asking me too, since I saw the answers from the dear comrades in AA fandom, and I'm very touched you also asked me. Thank you!

As for TOP, it's going to be my subjective taste and, sorry, more than 10, so without further do, in no particular order:

The whole AruAni in Fort Salta, with the leading role of Village By The End of The World by @moonspirit. The true treasure for the AruAni fandom, but, in my opinion, even for the whole AoT fandom as an incredible and impressive post-canon tale.

Phenomenally written with complex, layered narration and excellent character analysis and exploration of various topics - outside and inside, past and present, and the sheer beauty of human lives with all the struggles, traumas and nightmares, tangled with the incredible moments of mundane and peaceful life. This story makes you love this life and see the beauty in the smallest of things - both the characters and the readers.

(but honestly, read all Moon's works)

Black Water and the whole collection by @distortedclouds

A very precise dive into Annie's (and Armin's) relationships through the lens of the family - Annie's father and the one Armin and Annie try to build on their own. It's a fresh and solid exploration with a fantastic character analysis without any restrictions - raw and honest, in all glory. Fantastic style, impressive depths, and a story that leaves a huge impact.

Little Bird by @aquietjune is, perhaps, one of the best Annie-centric fics ever written with a unique post-canon setting and a very sharp, in the most wonderful ways, writing style, that immediately steals you away from this world, and you're caught hostage by June's imagination and mysteries.

Legends by @mimiwrites2000 is an impressive, emotional rollercoaster of canon-divergence with heart-wrenching twists and a beautiful writing style that makes you feel longing for something that you don't even know a name. I would describe this fic as "bittersweet nostalgia".

(just like with Clouds and Moon, go and read everything, honestly)

By Each Crime and Kindness (I'm bound to you) by @aruanimess, in my opinion, is one of the best Cadets AruAni stories I've ever read - the story holds the tense melancholy of the canon with the bittersweet moments of adolescence which was forced to live and to love in their cruel world. But the world is also beautiful, and, I suppose, this is exactly what this story is about.

on the path that led me to you by @the-last-thread-of-my-sanity is another perfect example of one of the best Cadest AruAni fics, in my opinion. Very honest, and fragile, just like the first love and the first leaves in the spring, story, that, however, holds a very deep analysis of AruAni moments during their time as Cadets - and what lies beneath the surface.

The Difference Between Us by @/BreakingSanity - maybe, the most unique AruAni fic ever written. I mean, where else would you find Human!Annie and... Tiny!Annie 4 inches tall romance with unique, complex story-building and universe, plot twists and a lot, a lot of emotions? The story hooked you just from the very first chapter.

Wait By The Ocean by @/SirCookieton is absolutely stellar exploration of the grief and denial, love and hope, that is already doomed from the start, but the sheer longing, the raw emotions that etched every word through the course of the story, leave huge scars in your heart as a reminder that, sometimes, the most difficult part is accepting the inevitable.

Nothing Sweeter Than You, A Perfect Love by @dude-why-3 are my personal favourites and the stories that are very dear to my heart. This is a magical tale of star-crossed lovers in a Romanian village, set in the 1950's, and these stories are a wonderful example of how to write romance stories in general. But let me also mention Who painted the sky? - a story that granted me an experience I never had, but it's so well-written, that it feels like I experienced something like this. It feels like a memory from a summer.

A Force To Be Reckoned by @luciensdefenseattorney a solid historical AU, with mysteries, tension and great background stories! And as for the similar vibe, I would also mention The Viscount and His Silent Ballerina by @/cherriesinmoonlight

These City Lights by @annieleonhardt was one of the first AruAni fics I ever read, and it's still one of my favourites, even if it's not finished. Silent movie director Armin and silent movie actress Annie, set in the early 1920's? Yes, please.

Tater Tots & Heavy Thoughts by Anonymous is still one of the most honest, of the most delicate stories I've ever read, written with a lot of care, attention and love for the details. This story had a huge impact on me, and it still has, so if you want to dive into a fantastic character study through the perspective of some very heavy topics which are explored with a lot of care - this story is exactly for this.

Coveted by @/honeyriot is a majestically written exploration of intimacy and how two ruined souls find solace in each other embrace. 11 chapters of sensuality, honesty, bravery and vulnerability.

On freer seas by @/astralcrow is a very solid Pirate AU, with incredible and stunning world-building, great character analysis and development, and the tension that don't leave you several weeks after you finish this mind-blowing story.

And, some incredible oneshots I really liked a lot:

Tangerine Skies and Muffled Cries by @midnightraine131

A River, An Ocean by @yourmaejesty

Dawn by @/aikrm

okay by @lunamoon1233

Deep Cuts by @dude-why-3

A glimpse of us. by @/Decoii

invisible strings by @diam-etrical

If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy? by @aruxani

But let me summarize that eveyone who creates in AA fandom is incredible, and I'm forever grateful for all the content we have in fandom.

You all are wonderful and thank you a lot!

[two-birds-and-a-bush]

i just wanted to say i read your hold form like two days ago and it was so hot. i bet it felt so good to wet yourself~

i want to try rapid desperation so i can really get that feeling of losing control. any tips?

GOD YES it was an absolutely phenomenal experience. wetting myself is always amazing but the feeling of genuinely losing control?? absolutely top tier. I'm so mad I'm not in life circumstances where I can easily do it cause man. (glad you found it hot too :3)

so the general idea behind rapid desperation is that there's this hormone called vasopressin that regulates the amount of water that your body lets pass into your bladder as opposed to reabsorbing, and it acts to try and keep you optimally hydrated. you're not drinking enough, vasopressin levels rise and your kidneys return more water into circulation so you dehydrate slower. you're drinking a lot, vasopressin levels drop and your kidneys let a lot more water pass through into your bladder because you don't really need to hold on to it. and the idea with rapid desperation is that you prepare ahead of time by drinking a lot throughout the day and peeing as you feel the need, to encourage those vasopressin levels to drop and fill your bladder up really fast again even after you just peed. (disclaimer I am not a biologist this is from a 5-minute wikipedia skim and what I remember from my original reading about rapid desperation.)

science aside, this is how you actually do the thing:

anywhere from 6 to 12 hours before you start your hold (whatever works), start ramping up your fluid intake. I was recommended one 8oz glass of water an hour but honestly that's not that much more than what I typically drink anyway, I've found about twice that to work pretty well. I recommend drinking some juice, coffee, soda, whatever, in addition to plain water to make you more motivated to drink. and make sure you're getting plenty of electrolytes too!! water intoxication is real and it can be genuinely deadly in the worst cases.

pee whenever you feel the need, don't intentionally hold yet! you don't want to hurt yourself by holding multiple times in the same day

about an hour before you start the hold, increase the fluids even more, maybe a cup every 10-15 minutes. keep peeing as you feel the need

start holding... :3

keep drinking a cup every 10-15 minutes or so, or even more if you can stand it (funnily enough I have much lower limits during the prep time but as soon as I urgently need to pee I find myself capable of downing entire water bottles and not feeling overly sick/full. not complaining I guess)

this final stretch is where I really wish I'd switched it up with some sports drinks or even like... watery soup or something, cause as soon as the post-wetting euphoria had worn off I found myself with a nasty headache and some nausea and I suspect it was the beginnings of water intoxication symptoms. I downed a bag of chips and was fine in the end but I cannot stress how important it is to get your electrolytes

if you've done everything right, depending on bladder capacity you should find yourself unable to hold more than an hour or two at the most ;-) have fun!!

another pro tip, if you have time in the day to start drinking early, aim to do the hold a good few hours before you would go to sleep, cause afterwards you're still going to be peeing incredibly often from all the water working its way through you and it is Not fun being kept awake for ages cause every time you try to fall asleep you realize you have to piss like a racehorse yet again (alternately I guess you could wear a diaper to bed if that's your thing...)

I would love to hear how it goes for you, if you don't have an omo blog of your own feel free to liveblog your experience in my inbox :))

[agentmarvel]

nsfw alphabet - kyle "gaz" garrick

afab!reader

mdni - 18+; minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

divider credit: @/cafekitsune

♡ a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

- Kyle is phenomenal with his aftercare. He'll take what he needs, but he gives it back in spades. We're talking brushing knots out of your tangled hair, a preemptive back rub, knowing how sore you'll be in the morning from the positions he had you in, peppering your sweat-sheened face with kisses while he thanks you for doing so well for him... And it continues until after you fall asleep on him. He's whispering the sweetest nothings even as your breathing deepens and slows.

♡ b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

- Call him a simple if you want, but he absolutely adores your smile. Any chance he can get to see it, he's cashing in. Bad day? Charm is turned up to 11 until you're giggling like a lunatic. Already in a good mood? He's smothering you in kisses and affectionate touches to keep you sunny. Even in bed, during the most intimate moments, he's heaping praise on you, never failing to remind you how bloody beautiful you are or how much he loves you. He never passes up on an opportunity to make you smile. It's the best part of his day.

For himself, he favors his arms. He's more lean muscle than sheer bulk, but don't let that fool you. Kyle is strong. Work aside, those arms have so much purpose, especially for the benefit of your relationship. He'll use those arms to cart groceries in so you don't have to make two trips. He pops the tops off of jars for you when they're stuck and holds up new art for the house while you eyeball how level it is, even when the frame is solid oak and weighing heavily on him after a few minutes. Best yet, those arms of his keep you safe, hold you close at every available opportunity, and support you through your lows.

♡ c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

- While he'd hesitate to call it a breeding kink, Ky prefers to cum inside you. Something about the idea of having a baby with you prevents him from pulling out anymore. He likes to imagine a perfect meshing of the two of you, a sweet little boy with wild curls and your eyes running across the yard, screeching peels of laughter as you chase him around. Now isn't the right time, given the frequency and duration of his deployments, but in the meantime, a little extra practice can't hurt.

♡ d = dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

- He won't admit it, but Kyle has been trying extra hard lately to see if he can make you squirt with just his dick. You've done it a handful of times with his fingers, and he is obsessed with the synphonic sounds that come out of you when he makes it happen.

♡ e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

- Oh, he knows exactly what he's doing. He's so attentive to the most minute details, and that makes him so very proficient. Prior, he'd had a few short-lived but meaningful relationships, through which he learned what he likes and how to merge that with someone else's preferences, making him a solid 11/10 in the skill department.

♡ f = favorite position

- He loves missionary. Your legs wrapped around his slim hips, finger entwined by your head while his other hand curls around your waist or your jaw. Being able to watch your face, the way you give him an almost offended look when he slips his cock in, those sweet smiles lingering behind every orgasm he draws from you. It maintains a level of intimacy that sex feels hollow without.

♡ g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

- Gaz has a great sense of humor, and that translates well in these scenarios. He's able to showcase the delicate balance between the two, acknowledging bodily noises that would ordinarily be considered sort of embarrassing with cute quips without making you feel bad. Your comfort is important to him, and those hushed giggles tell him you're at ease with him.

♡ h = hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

- V well groomed. He takes a lot of pride in his appearance (that's what bagged you, right?), and putting in the effort makes him feel good about himself. Being a little high maintenance gives him a wicked confidence boost. Simply put, when he looks his best, he feels his best. He trims the upper and lower beards for himself and crops his curls for work.

♡ i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

- Intimacy is something Kyle prioritizes. He shows his love in a very physical nature: little touches whenever he can, holding your hand at any available opportunity, a steady stream of kisses whenever possible. It's compulsive, his need for you to understand just how strongly he feels about you. He fights because it's his job; he survives because of you. You're his reason to come home safely, and he never wants you to forget it.

♡ j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

- He's pretty standard on this front. If he's away from home, he's rubbing one out at least twice a week. Can't get himself off unless he's imagining you, though. Fuck, he worships you. You're all-consuming in his mind, and every load belongs to you in some way or another.

♡ k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

- PRAISE. Giving, more so. The way you react to the things he whispers in the dark does something to him, something he can't quite describe. And when he makes you sing your own praises? He's done for. Listening to you pant and whine while you're trying to tell him you're beautiful? Immaculate. Cums immediately.

♡ l = location (favorite places to do the do)

- Surprisingly, he favors the shower. There's something inherently profound about the way you interact beneath the stream of water just this side of scorching. Seeing your phantom curves amid the temperate fog, the feeling of anticipation, unable to just wait a few minutes longer, it all drives him mad with need. It's tantalizing, the way you dance around each other in an effort to fight the instinct. Affectionate how you'll lather up your hands to leave a streak of bubbles across his chest, but the look in your eyes dares him to make a move. It's become his favorite game, and it always feels like it's the first time all over again.

♡ m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

- Kyle particularly enjoys watching you do domestic things. It's a slippery slope. Simple things like cooking, cleaning, laundry, even watching you sit down to sort the bills gets him bricked. Reminds him that you actually chose him. You moved in with him, into a house that you picked out together. He has a ring hidden away in a place you'd never even think to look, and he's waiting for his next annual extended leave to propose. Thinking about making you his wife, knowing he's finally found the one, it never fails to arouse him.

♡ n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

- He's not on board with CNC. The real-world horrors he's had the displeasure of seeing set a very strict limit. Even if he knows you're faking the fear, even an extensive discussion beforehand, he would stop everything the second you showed any sign of hesitancy. Wouldn't even wait for a safeword. You say no, immediate halt.

He's also fundamentally opposed to degradation, knife play, and breath play. Again, a very strict limit set by his experiences in the field.

♡ o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

- Oh, Gaz eats it for his pleasure, 100%. Eats it like a man starved. He'll wring two or three blinding orgasms out of you before he even puts so much as a finger inside you, and after that, he'll take two more. He does not give a single fuck if the entire bottom half of his face is soaking wet. He'd rather go down on you than vice versa (not that he won't accept the enthusiastic reciprocation), and once he's set on it, there's no talking him out of it.

♡ p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

- Kyle isn't the kind of guy to just fuck. He is, at his core, the love making type. He's all about making it last; a conveyance of emotions rather than the physical gratification. He isn't shy about expressing his feelings verbally, but there's something special to him about being able to show you how he feels.

♡ q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

- Not preferred (see above), but always an option. They don't happen too often. Typically, it's only at the last minute, like sneaking into the bathroom while you're doing your hair or surprising you on your lunch break at work when he gets home earlier than anticipated and just can't wait a second longer. Half the time, quickies consist of him burying his head between your thighs until you're a whimpering, quivering mess, cumming completely untouched just from the sounds you make.

♡ r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

- Within his personal parameters, Kyle's definitely down to experiment. Trying new things is exciting and fun, and he's all for new experiences. He's minimal on risk, though. He believes some things need to stay private.

♡ s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

- His stamina is pretty impressive. While he can typically only manage one round in a night, that round will last close to an hour. Cannot stress enough how much he looooooveeesssss dragging it out. He has the physicality for it, and he's built for pushing his limits.

♡ t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

- He doesn't own any himself, and generally speaking, he's committed to making sure you don't really need them when he's home. He'll pull out the bullet vibe from time to time if you're just not quite getting there, but that's about the extent.

♡ u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

- Kyle Garrick is the biggest fucking tease. He'll send you lewd pictures while you're out with friends, whisper nasty shit to you across the table while you're having date night, squeeze your inner thigh while he's driving, etc. He's relentless, but will act fucking clueless when you call him out on it just to get a rise out of you.

♡ v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

- He's a 6/10 on the volume scale. It's a constant stream of praise and making you verbally negate all of your expressed insecurities, but on his own, it's a lot of heavy breathing and mutterings of curses and pet names. "fuckin' christ, babe/god damn it, you feel too good/shit, pretty girl. taking it so good"

♡ w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

- Kyle is super into you feeling yourself. He'll spare no expense while treating you to a self-care day. Seeing you feeling confident in your own skin is such a massive turn-on for him, and as a bonus, the sex is impossibly hotter. He doesn't care if your spa day puts his account in the negatives; it's worth every single penny.

♡ x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

- Slim and lean, but shredded. Definitely has visible abs. Light dusting of hair across his chest. Biggest dumpy in the 141. He has two tattoos; one on his chest for his mum, one on his ribs for you (something subtle, he's too paranoid about his work to get anything that could lead the enemy to either of you). "Keepin' my best girls close to my heart," he'd said with a wink.

8" (and knows exactly how to use every single one), cut, straight, average thickness

♡ y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

- His drive is fairly standard. Once or twice a week for the full experience, twice or thrice more just to eat you out. But he'll almost never turn you down if you want it.

♡ z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

- It takes a while for Gaz to fall asleep after. Despite all the lost sleep to be made up for and the massive energy expenditure of his regular day-to-day, he cherishes those quiet moments. The moments when your head is on his chest, heartbeat lulling you closer to the edge of sleep. The moments when your fingers wrap around his as he strokes your hair. The moments when you're sleepily mumbling those three little words that never fail to make his heart race. Those are the moments that get him through his hardest missions, and he can't bear to let himself fall asleep before experiencing that again.

[oneanxiousdreamer]

So, the 10th Anniversary week of FNaF is over. Looking back on this franchise and how special it is to me, remembering how I became a part of the community after the first two games came out and the third one was being teased. It's still crazy to me that 10 years ago, FNaF was a horror game that was created by one man and 10 years later, FNaF is one of the biggest horror franchises in gaming history! I can remember beating the first two games on the Kindle and it was such a surreal moment, but who would have thought that there would be many sequels after the main trilogy (4-UCN), many spin-off games (World, FiS 2, FiS 3, FR), two incredible VR games, an AR game, the biggest Non-VR installment with a phenomenal DLC (SB/Ruin), tons of merchandise, countless fangames, talented people who made the greatest fansongs for the series, pillars of the community in the form of YouTubers (Markiplier, MatPat, Dawko, 8-BitGaming, FuhNaff, RyeToast, etc.), the fans, the loved composers making absolute bangers for the games and the movie(s) (Leon Riskin, Allen Simpson, A Shell In The Pit, The Newton Brothers, etc.), the many iconic characters not only created by Scott Cawthon himself, but by bigger organisations of people who made it their mission to carry on the legacy of Scott (Steel Wool Studios, Illumix, Mega Cat Studios, etc.) but also by the fans who work tirelessly to figure out the lore of the series and give characters their own style of personality, bringing life to those who seemed to have none, the insane amount of theories and headcanons within the puzzled minds of theorists and fans alike, the crazy amount of books that still wrack our brains to this day (FF, TFtP, SE trilogy, etc.), the nostalgic easter eggs hidden throughout every installment that inspired others to create their very own hoaxes to fool the community, and most importantly the massive success of the games was unexpectedly recognised when Scott was losing hope in his career when his previous game (Chipper & Sons Lumber Co.) didn't have the same effect on people that FNaF eventually would and therefore, led to the production and overwhelming success of the groundbreaking first ever FNaF movie! Seeing it in the cinema on the big screen was an incredible experience that I will never forget. It still amazes me that I went from a small Kindle screen, to an Xbox/TV screen, to a cinema screen and just thinking about the depth of it all made me emotional because I've never stopped loving and caring about this franchise. The impact of it's very existence is still unrivalled, many have tried to recreate the feel and atmosphere of the mascot horror genre that FNaF created with their own games (Poppy Playtime, Garten Of Banban, Tattletail, Bendy and the Ink Machine, etc.) Some succeeded and even became their own stand-alone franchises, of course FNaF didn't completely create the mascot horror genre, it not only reignited it but made it grow in popularity, hence the creation of many beloved fangames of the series. This is such an exciting time for the FNaF community, and I could say much more about the entirety of FNaF, but there's just simply too much of the surface to scratch. Here's to the eventful 10 years of Five Nights at Freddy's!

🎉🎂

(Below are my Mini / Plush versions of Sun and Moon. They may not be the best, but I'm still quite happy with how they turned out.)

[littlelesbianintern]

Cynthia’s Coming Out Scene

I want to start with the fact that I think this is one of the best coming out scenes I’ve ever watched which considering this is a show set in the 50s is an incredible feat. This scene has me sobbing and Ari’s acting was incredible.

To be honest the way this show has represented queerness has been brilliant throughout the season. I love how the show utilises symbolism, but in particular the motif of queer people being able to have conversation about queerness without expressing it out loud is especially impactful - Cynthia/Lydia’s “you’re scared” scenes, the rehearsals, the fall dance, the conversation between Cynthia and Shy Guy. All of these moments convey deeper conversations than their literal words and to have this culminate in Cynthia not even being able to voice their identity/feelings out loud is genius because it’s such a universal experience for queer people.

Ari’s acting was phenomenal, literally just incredible. That moment before Cynthia hands the note to Nancy, relishing what she sees as the last moments of their friendship before Nancy begins to look at her differently? The grip on the note before letting Nancy eventually take it? The absolute look of fear as Nancy reads it? The gut-wrenching sob as she reads Nancy’s response, overcome with pure fucking relief? STUNNING. I’ve never felt to moved or seen. Give Ari their flowers because I can’t express enough how amazing their acting has been this season.

Also as much as I would like to know what the note says, I kind of love that we don’t? Like it remains this beautiful inside joke/moment between just Nancy and Cynthia. Having said that, I hope it says something like “rate the kiss out of ten” in a recall to Nancy loving to rank how good people are at kissing.

ON THAT NOTE NANCY NAKAGAWA IS THE ALLY OF THE YEAR. I love that she picked up immediately that Cynthia’s anger wasn’t entirely about her relationship with Potato, because whilst Cynthia definitely is angry about Nancy’s attitude, a little more of it was maybe some slight jealousy on Cynthia’s part? Nancy and Potato as a straight couple (I have my own head cannons but I digress) can outwardly express affection for each other but Nancy chooses to reject this. For Cynthia this must be incredibly frustrating, because as Lydia’s experience proves, queer relationship don’t have the same privilege, but Nancy takes it for granted. But for someone who said themselves that they weren’t great at listening, Nancy’s response to Cynthia, whatever it was, was perfect. And furthermore, she wasn’t just there to listen, but to actively turn up and support Cynthia in repairing her relationship with Lydia. Honestly just all of episode 10 was Nancy being an icon for a solid 55 minutes.

I also love the way that Lydia’s previous relationship experience adds a deeper layer to her relationship with Cynthia. I already kind of figured this would be the case based on the lyrics from Merely Players (“i know just what you’re feeling I’ve had that dream before”) and her conversation with Cynthia as to how school productions usually goes kind of read to me like she’s had queer relationships before. But it really reinforces how much Lydia likes Cynthia, to the point where she is willing to put her heart on the line again even though she knows how this might go.

Finally, although we don’t know whether the show will be renewed or not, the fact that the season ended with happy lesbians? Revolutionary. I’m going to be devastated if this becomes another sapphic show that’s cancelled, but I have a little peace of mind knowing that for once the lesbian couple hasn’t been left on a cliffhanger with no resolution. The reunion between Cynthia and Lydia was so lovely and Ari’s voice ? Holy shit dude!!!!!! They’re incredible. And the symbolism with the hall of mirrors, showing Cynthia giving every version of herself to Lydia? Amazing! So yeah, thank you Rise of the Pink Ladies for finally giving us some much needed portrayals of queerness with a happy ending, especially considering the context the show is set in.

[bookinit02]

bookinit’s byler fic recs

happy new years! to celebrate, i’m posting a list of some of my favorite fics of this year, sorted by word count. i tried not to include a bunch of super well-known, commonly-recced fics, and of course, there are SO many more that i didn’t include just because there isn’t enough time in the world. but i really wanted to lift up some amazing authors, my friends included, as well as some more underground fics. happy reading!!🥳

my top byler fics of 2022

1 - 10k

- it’s a choice (getting swept away) by @wiseatom. i just skimmed this again to see if i wanted to include it, and even just SKIMMING, i was having goddamn heart palpitations. there is something so special about healthy communication and resolving misunderstandings with emotional intelligence and kindness instead of anger. don’t get me wrong, big dramatic blowups are lots of fun to read, but this one stands out for how quiet it is. how gentle. not only is the willel done FANTASTICALLY, but byler here is so soft and tentative, and i was eating up every minute of it. as always, with thea, a phenomenal read. (categories: post s4, mileven breakup, painting conversation, getting together, willel)

- the body is a blade by inblue. this author is severely underrated—incredible prose, such unique fics, and so much genuine emotion in such a short space. i sincerely recommend all of their works!! phenomenal, and despite their short length, they’ve stuck with me since i read them—this one in particular. (categories: poetic, unique, character study, will byers needs a hug)

10 - 20k

- i’m caught up in you by @wiseatom. the first half of this is genuinely novel-worthy—beautifully written & crafted, to the point where i couldn’t stop writing down sentences as inspiration. the second half kicks you into an apocalyptic adventure, filled with byler banter, miscommunication, wound tending, a Painting Debacle™️, and literally everything you could want out of byler in the upside down. thea’s byler is SO much fun to read—they absolutely are best friends, and they don’t let you forget it! the banter is so realistic and snarky and fun, and i’ve read this a million times over at this point. infinite kudos always💗💗 (categories: byler in the upside down, miscommunication, angst & fluff, tension, wound tending, will has a gun)

- i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this) by blackdeathmamba. a classic, and for a good reason. great tension & pining, super butterfly-inducing, with a twist at the end that simultaneously had me yelling and giggling into my pillow. ADORABLE. so, so wonderful. (categories: pining, miscommunication, college byler, roommates, fluff)

- running up that road by @smoosnoom. i had a really hard time trying to figure out which of moon’s fics to rec bc i feel like all of them, in general, defined my 2022. and of course, everyone and their mother has recced tearing you asunder! but going back over the fics, i think this one truly had the biggest impact on me. first of all, it was the first fic i ever read while listening to the accompanying playlist, and that experience literally changed my life. it is so hard for me to read without listening to music now😭 but seriously reading this w/ moon’s song choices felt like watching a movie. second of all, i really got inside mike’s head here. his character was great, and the fic displayed some of his more unpleasant qualities that some people might shy away from, like anger or resentment. this was just a very real portrayal of byler, and of mike in general. and a lot of the scenes in here—specifically the beginning and end—have stuck with me since i read them. overall, incredible experience, and i’d read it again in a heartbeat. (categories: post s4, character study, mike centric)

20 - 30k

- the gaps and the silence by delusionaltogether (whyyyyy) aka @parkitaco. i read this last night and cried my heart out—not big dramatic sobs, but more of a silent & continuous cry that would pop back up without warning. this was just so exquisitely written—the best of parker’s work that i’ve seen, which is such an impressive feat because i love absolutely everything they publish. the resolving of miscommunication, the healing of byler’s fractured relationship, the responsibility taken on both sides, and the love that still persists through all of it—this is a masterpiece. it is a triumph of human emotion, and a truly excellent mark of good writing. cannot recommend enough—along with absolutely all of parker’s other works. (categories: angst, miscommunication, reunion, college byler, first dates, mutual pining)

- mike wheeler’s guide to falling in love with a superhero by @smoosnoom. this was my first introduction to spiderwill, and i loved every minute of it. this is fun, fast-paced, a little crazy, and just SUCH an enjoyable read. plus, i get a cameo as bagel girl, which in my opinion, is the best part!! but fr this was honestly so well done and even as i’m writing this, i’m getting the urge to read it again. loved, loved, LOVED. (categories: spiderwill, fluff, light-hearted, energetic)

30 - 40k

- you can hear it in the silence by @astrobei. there is truly not enough praise in the world for suni’s fics, or her writing in general, but this one was really something special. mike in this fic is one of my favorite mikes ever, and i think about his big conversation with robin at least once a day. this is truly just a magical coming of age romance. it is so soft & tender & real, and i genuinely could read it every single day and never get bored. also, as someone who worked in food service, i appreciated the accurate portrayal🫡 but also. never again. customers can suck my dick. getting off track here :) (categories: coming of age, friends to lovers, mutual pining, soft)

- i know, i know, i know by aude_sapere. season 4 rewrite!! the writing of this is incredible, the plot is fantastic, and it was one of my first really notable reads in this fandom. really gives will his main character moment, as he deserves!! (categories, s4 rewrite, main character will, pining, action)

40 - 50k

- i’ve come home, i’m so cold by @astrobei. this one is just. ohhhhh my god where do i even start?? this is my ideal college byler fic. it’s literally so perfect, start to finish. will’s narration is incredible, and additionally the plot is just so, SO interesting?! there’s something about suni’s writing that i just can’t get enough of. she writes exactly the way i think and it results in prose that flows effortlessly and is so much fun to read!! i am just chomping all of her fics up one by one and i am still hungry☹️ i think suni needs to write just for me forever & always actually. (categories: college byler, mystery, pining, best friends to lovers, roommates)

- boys don’t cry series by @padmedala. this series is so special to me, specifically the first installment. it was one of the first works i really read that focused on will’s queerness in other terms than his relationship with mike! there was so much queer joy & healing & growing up in this series, and it was really beautifully explored in a way that left me crying, but still unable to put my phone down. really, really wonderful, and criminally underrated. (categories: coming of age, season 4-5, queer joy, healing, romance, pining)

50 - 100k

- chiron in gemini by babydraygen. this was one of the first season 5 fics that i read, and i still think this is a REALLY interesting take on it. eddie’s alive, mike is kind of a dick, and the apocalypse is in hawkins, but everyone’s pretty chill about it. i think the characters here were so complex and interesting, and i was honestly hooked the whole time. (categories: season 5, coming of age, angst, getting together)

- there is a season by ghostlin. yet another s5 fix-it, mike-centric this time. really well written, great character development, and truly so much fun to read. to quote my original bookmark: this is, without a doubt, one of the best fics i’ve ever read. writing is impeccable, everything (EVERYTHING) is perfect, and i cherished every single word. this is my season 5. if you are reading this right now, stop and read this fic. yes, me too. read it again. (categories: s5, character development, slow burn, apocalypse, drama)

- i’ll find a new place to be from by @andiwriteordie . clearly i have a thing for s5 fics, but this was honestly so amazing!! i think about it a lot, and am definitely pulling inspo for my own eventual s5 fic (hopefully coming next year!) andi has written so many (and i mean SO. MANY) wonderful fics for this fandom, which is a gift in itself. but there’s nothing that i think about more than this one. (categories: s5, drama, will byers has powers, getting together)

100k +

- you are the heart by touchthesky. i spent months reading this one, chapter by chapter, as it uploaded, and i don’t regret it one bit. this was such an interesting, complex, and well-done take on season 5. there were some really shocking plot twists, gripping moments of turmoil, and satisfyingly resolved arcs for every single character. the action sequences are god-tier, the internal dialogue is fascinating, the worldbuilding is INCREDIBLE, and i honestly just cannot say enough good things about this fic. will probably be giving it another read soon! (categories: s5, angst, the full package, slow burn, will pov, intense worldbuilding, main character death)

again, there are SO many more—and yall are always welcome to search my bookmarks on ao3—but those are the ones i was thinking about today. here’s to more great fics in 2023!!🥳🥳

[stillsurfacequietpond]

I was fortunate enough to get to see Macbeth.

I got a ticket the day they were available six months ago, and have been counting down (and annoying everyone I know talking about it) since. I don’t really have the right words, but it was an absolutely magical, extraordinary experience.

The production was fantastic, I loved the way it was staged, the use of light and a glass wall to separate scenes, the music was perfect.

David Tennant was incredible, Cush Jumbo was phenomenal, the whole cast was amazing. (Also Jatinder Singh Randhawa as the porter was hilarious, excellent break of the fourth wall, apparently his bit is different every night). No spoilers but the way they staged the Macduff family deaths was �� I think, a much stronger portrayal of Macbeth’s state of mind than the original.

The binaural sound made the whole experience astonishingly different, I don’t think I moved once, felt like the audience almost wasn’t there, you felt just immersed in it because the sound felt like it was coming from all around you, you could hear every little sound, every breath, I just… gosh.

I immediately started trying to figure out how I can see it a second time while I’m in London. (Anyone know what time to start lining up for same day tickets?)

Also, I did stand at the stage door (with just a few other people) like a fanantic (I totally am), and absolutely lost my power of speech when he got to me, so didn’t even say fantastic job, sorry David, you were in fact, fucking amazing.

(The signing is pretty organized, you do have to get there quick, I lucked out with where I was sitting to get a spot in front, he will sign as many as he can moving down the line, but he moves quick. But that was just a bonus, the production (and having David Tennant speak Shakespeare live in your ears for two hours - what is it about his voice?!) on its own, was worth a six months wait and flying a quarter of the way around the world).

10/10, would absolutely repeat if given the opportunity.

[spicyvampire]

Do you have any favorite characters from bl series or bl dramas that you watched that came out this year? Who are your top 10 or 20 if there are any?

Hey anon, gonna admit there I blue-screened a little and forgot what shows even aired in this year other than 4M and MSI but hey that's why I have a list that I keep updated so here goes nothing

4MINUTES (2024)

I don't think that one is surprising anyone here, there just no way I'm recovering from this show anytime soon, not only because of the originality of the plot/story and the phenomenal acting but also the cinematography and the soundtrack and the production value, like this one will go down in history books for sure, I don't think I'll ever get over comparing their pre-dead scenarios to what happened in reality, this show genuinely made my heart ache, this show provoked chemical unbalance in my body I'm not even kidding, more then once I've wanted to straight throw up cuz my heart was hurting too much, just in my room gifing making cat that want to throw up noises

My Stand In (2024)

Chinese story with a Thai production is a lethal mix ngl, and the first show to teach us this was definitely MSI, not only was the story just crazy to begin with but the execution of it was also fucking bonkers, like goddamn a plot point of this was the guy sneezing during sex like what more do you want

The Sign (2023-2024)

Didn't technically start airing this year but it did finish this year so I'm counting it, this show is just way too good for it to not get a mention on every type of posts like this that I do, you got bootcamp gays, and then solving cases gay, and you got reincarnating gays with a bonus of genders (that's all I'm gonna say), and you got fucking water dragons and fire bird boy literally what more could you possibly want here, if this doesn't convince you nothing will

Unknown (2024)

Shows adaptation of Priest books have a way of fucking with you on god, this is yet again another Chinese writer but this is a Taiwanese production with Taiwanese actors, this show is just so fucking painful man, episode 5-6-7-8 could be used as torture devices, I'm not even kidding, waterboarding got NOTHING on this 4 episodes, anyways Wei Qian passenger princess <3

Meet You at the Blossom (2024)

Speaking of Chinese story with Thai production, this one is just that but with Chinese actors too and boy oh boy, every trope is in there, we got goddamn aphrodisiac sex in the first two episodes, one of the main characters is bisexual & stupid with his wife is a like war criminal wanted in every part of the country and is also like a prince? like i-??? absolutely a great watch

Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (2024)

This is still airing but it's just so good it's gotta be on the list, The batman of the Law experimenting homosexual thoughts because of his puppy-like swamp guy con man are just too good to not mention, I think this sentence just said everything I need to so I'm not gonna add anything else

Century of Love (2024)

Speaking of man experiencing gay thoughts, there is a grandpa who is not too happy about the wet dreams he is having about a man but he is gonna have to suck it up, this show has a strong lakorn (soap opera) and somewhat traditional vibes I feel, and it is extremely funny and frankly the episodes pass faster than you would think

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (2024)

One of those shows you will never really recover from, I can't even talk about it, I think Hwang Da Seul should do comedies next I do not have the time to spend 5hrs on the floor every episode please and thank you ma'am

Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart! (2024)

Literally the worst heists you've ever seen, they are just so bad at this and one of them is supposed to be a master thief!!! Feared by all!! but my god are these idiots lovable, pretty sure one of the mains proposed like twice in 3 episodes he is that whipped, also they adopted a child after sleeping together one (1) time, talk about uhaul lesbians, but seriously this show is well written enough, and get it's moral points across well most of the time, just wish they killed Arun's dad

The Time of Fever (2024)

I'm not much of a coming of age story person, but even I cannot deny how much of a masterpiece this show is, ngl it wasn't what I was expecting when I learned we were getting this side couple's prequel but hell did I enjoy every second of this, chemistry was crazy, the acting was phenomenal, the story and the cinematography, this bitch asked the other if he would still love him if he was a worm and the man said fucking yes!!! and I was hanging on every fucking word, truly one of the shows of the year

[iced-cofi]

Another Crabs Treasure is very well my favorite souls like, and also one of my favorite games now. I would highly recommend it to anyone, even people who might be intimidated by hard games, due to its already tolerable difficulty, and plethora of accessibility options.

This post will go a bit more into my review, so read if you want honest thoughts, but there will be spoilers mentioned, so here's a quick spoiler free one!

It somehow matches being very fair and challenging, with good balance, along side the ability to get absolutely busted late game if you are willing to explore and experiment. On top of being wildly fun (or fin, if you enjoy fish puns, of which this game has many), it also has an incredibly funny, touching, and important story about the damage capitalism can do to both society and the planet, and constantly reminds the player that it's important to act. And it's contextualized in an incredible story, with an endearing main character, and a phenomenal ensemble cast that is always evolving and adding to the amazing story. I would give it an earnest 9.5/10.

Now to the spoiler part, so if you don't want spoilers, don't read below this image.

Ok first off, holy shit every boss in this game is so cool, and constantly shining with creativity and flair.

The bosses use every day trash as weapons, armor, buildings and more. It's amazing, and incredible unique and cool from an art design perspective, while showing a whimsical yet harrowing pseudo reality of the pollution in our ocean.

My particular favorites from a art design perspective are Roland and Heikea, with the former being an isopod dressed in a tall shoe collar as a vest, using 6 Allen Wrenches as weapons, while occasionally rolling up into a ball, to bounce around the literal pinball machine arena, and the latter being a samurai crab, who uses toothpicks and fake grass (the ones in sushi packs and stuff like that) as a loincloth, and uses a set of chopsticks, which he later breaks in too and dual wields, as a katana.

I also think this game has this ability to be... Beautifully melancholy. And also just... Beautiful. Like look at this shit, it's gorgeous.

This beauty is carried in its story, and while it is a relatively grim story, with death and betrayal, and a real sense of existential dread, it is also an incredibly funny, whimsical journey, that perfectly balances these two dissonant tones perfectly.

Like, for the penultimate boss, you are fighting Praya Dubia, what is basically a god of the ocean, and an accumulation of all the souls lost to the Gunk, the rot of this world caused by pollution and trash. Praya feels this wrath at the way the ocean is being ravenged, and the people who can fix it don't do anything to help, and the people who can't just sit idly and take advantage of the destruction instead of trying to fix it, and so she uses this rage to take over the mind and body of Chitan, one of Kril's (the hermit crab you play as) best and most reliable allies, to slay the creatures of the land, and cure the world of its infection using the Perfect Whorl, a shell that turns it's wearer into basically a god. (Praya needs Chitan's body cause she can't use the shell without, and her godly ability isnt nearly as powerful as the shell.)

You battle this collection of every enraged soul, which wails and curses the Gunk and all those who allowed it to fester (especially Kril) as Chitan begs Kril to free her from Praya, who, after Chitan is freed, begins to use all of her power to kill Kril, in one last push, which kills her. It's intense, and emotional, and beautiful.

And after that amazing battle, the final boss... Is a crypto bro, bootlicking, greedy prick voiced by Michael Reeves. It's a fun twist, and it's honestly funny as hell.

And also, hard. It doesn't hold back. Firth is quick, strong, and uses all the abilities you've gained throughout the story against you. It's awesome, as all the bosses are.

I love this game, and I really recommend it. It maintains a funny yet foreboding atmosphere and story, while having amazingly fun yet challenging gameplay that constantly evolves, and rewards experimentation. Oh and I forgot to mention this, but the music goes absolutely fucking wild. Like wicked shit.

9.5/10, like i said. One of my new favorites. It's only 30 bucks, and you get more than a ton of 60-70 doller triple A games would give you. And not only would you be supporting a talented, inclusive, funny indie team, you'd get an amazing experience out of it.

Pick it up if you want!

[milkpumpkin96]

The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero Review

Part I: The Teal Mask

I have a lot to say about Pokémon Scarlet & Violet as a whole . . . but damn, this game is ginormous. I have recently completed "The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero" DLC in its entirety, but since it is absolutely stuffed with new content, I am going to divide up my review.

It is quite clear that Gen IX has . . . its flaws. But nonetheless, I adored this DLC like you cannot imagine (graphical concerns aside).

Pokémon has always been a huge part of my life and I am eager to talk about it. I think that the DLC could have been cheaper to purchase, but it is definitely worth it for Pokémon fans.

I know I am late to the party because "The Teal Mask" came out like half a year ago, but oh well!

[ MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING ]

OVERALL SCORE: 7/10

For the most part, I went into the DLC blind. I did not view posts or trailers or anything about it beforehand. As such, I was in for a nice surprise!

Overall, "The Teal Mask" featured definite improvements from the base game. I consider myself lucky in that I never experienced the hoards of bizarre or game-breaking glitches that other players dealt with in Pokémon Scarlet & Violet. The DLC had some slight upgrades in this regard. Slight.

That being said, the fact that performance issues remain present only highlights the indolence of Game Freak. Since, on the other hand, Nintendo has Tears of the Kingdom and Pikmin 4 pushing the Nintendo Switch's capabilities to the max and can run fine and look stunning in its own right.

Otherwise, the soundtrack, the storyline, the characters, and the aesthetic of the DLC are phenomenal and feature some of my favorite elements compared to the main game. Also, "The Teal Mask" certainly offered quite a fresh challenge (at least for casual players).

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GAMEPLAY: 6/10

As stated, the biggest disappointment with the DLC is its failure to properly fine-tune the performance issues. Cutscenes still lag; and holy hell, the cutscene of the MC and Carmine gazing at the Crystal Pool is egregiously choppy. The game tried sooo hard to feature the sparkling beauty of the pool but to no avail. It seems that this severe lag happened to everyone, which made the already underwhelming Milotic jump scare even more underwhelming.

The game does not look awful, but still pretty bad. Game Freak totally is not a billion-dollar franchise capable of more, right?

Players still have instances of sudden FPS drops, especially when Koraidon/Miraidon tries to run and jump (this is most apparent during the Ogre Oustin' minigame).

The smallness of the map will be this DLC's savior, which I will discuss under my "setting" review category. But, in regards to the graphics, I think if the map were any larger, "The Teal Mask" and its areas would be sooo sluggish and lackluster compared to many places in the base game. This is due to the lack of NPC density and really anything going on outside of the three major locations of Kitakami.

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I still believe that Pokémon has its own charm though. At the very least, the land of Kitakami is enticing and pretty.

I did not experience any glitches in "The Teal Mask." The performance ran smoother on my own copy compared to other players, because I have heard the other people had more prominent performance errors in their DLC.

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Moving on, I will say that the difficult scaling of the DLC surprised me in a good way. This is especially true for casual players like myself!

The game is not hard, but it is not easy either. If you choose to begin part one of the DLC after beating the base game and post-game, the Pokémon in "The Teal Mask" are between levels 60s-70s. This shocked me as being a fairly difficult starting point (especially since this is only part one of the DLC, and it is kind of its own game).

I am a fully casual player. Say what you will, but by the time I completed the post-game of Pokémon Scarlet, my highest level Pokémon (my Skeledirge) was about level 71. Most of my main party were between levels 50-70, so the DLC being at this level was amazing for me. A perfect blend of enjoyment and challenge.

Even for competitive players and heedless grinders, there is still some difficulty to be had. This is particularly the case with the optional ogre clan members you can battle--which their Pokémon are level 75--and also even some battles against Kieran can come as a surprise. If your team is all maxed at level 100 . . . then of course you can blast your way through.

Personally, I lost to several ogre clan members, and nearly to Kieran as well.

Some other people might want to start from scratch and foster a brand new team in the land of Kitakami. I actually recommend doing so if you want to experiment with the new entries in the Pokedex and have a nice and fun challenge.

If you start the DLC before you finish the main game (which is possible), "The Teal Mask" will try to scale down to your own level.

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Aside from battling, there are other extra features players can engage with. At the "Festival of Masks," you can try a minigame called "Ogre Oustin,'" in which your MC rides on Koraidon/Miraidon and attempts to pop ogre-themed balloons and retrieve berries of certain colors (red, grey, green, and blue). These colorations match the masks held by Ogerpon, hence the name. Since the inhabitants of Kitakami initially view Ogerpon as unfavorable, the point of the minigame is to mimic hunting down the ogre to avenge The Loyal Three.

This minigame starts off fairly easy at first: run around and pop like four blue balloons and three green ones. Players must play "Ogre-Oustin'" at least one time due to story reasons, and stick it to Carmine who's ego is more inflated than the balloons themselves.

As you progress through the levels, it becomes alarmingly difficult. You go from popping 10 balloons in total to around 60 or 70! There are also Skwovets and Munchlaxes actively trying to steal your berries. Players can try this minigame alone or play online or local multiplayer. Trust me . . . playing the game with others is superior. I cannot get through the harder levels solo, like at all.

This minigame is weird but kind of fun. I feel a blend of anger and joy when I play . . . "Ogre Oustin'" will incite peoples' competitive streaks.

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Another side option players can do is engage with the character named Perrin, who . . . you know . . . is 100% a descendant from Hisui's famous Adaman.

She will not regard you until you have completed 150 Kitakami Pokedex entries in full. Once you begin Perrin's side mission, she asks you to assist her with capturing a photo of the "blood moon beast," who is rumored to be lurking in the woods of Kitakami. Throughout this quest, players camp with Perrin and take various photos of Pokémon at night. Perrin's strange camera device has to filter out all non-"blood moon beast" species in order to autonomously detect the location of the beast.

So, I mean, if you like Pokémon Snap or just enjoy using Scarlet & Violet's camera function, then wahoo! However, I wish all the new camera functions were available at this point in the game, as they are not accessible until part two of the DLC.

You ultimately get to battle and capture the "blood moon beast" (which is a special coloration of Ursaluna), and Perrin takes a horrifically blurry photo of it. This side quest is silly and fun, but ultimately just kind of meh. Perrin herself and Ursaluna are cool, though!

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A third side quest you can engage in is with the characters Billy and O'Nare, who are adorning sparkly outfits and can be found standing on the edges of Kitakami's apple orchard. The two are members of "The Glitterati" and are very flamboyantly wealthy.

Their side quest is kind of tedious and annoying in my opinion. After each conversation with these guys, they travel vehemently to random landmarks either in Kitakami itself or back in Paldea. It is a fetch quest where you find the same duo over and over rather than an object. The hints to their whereabouts are kind of vague, which is made worse because Paldea's map can be redundant. Billy and O'Nare are looking for a famous waterfall? There are so many damn waterfalls in Paldea!

After each find, they give you daffy advice and some items. Occasionally players must battle O'Nare, but all she has is a rather weak Persian and eventually an Arbolivia.

Once the side quest is completed, players will have enough valuable items to bulk sell for a hefty amount of money. Players should sell these items and get the 10-ish grand. If you return back to Kitakami and talk to the caretaker, he will be asking for donations to repair the disassembled statues of The Loyal Three in Loyalty Plaza. Sure, the caretaker only wants to repair them for tourism purposes, and sure, the caretaker is kind of a greedy asshole, but if you donate 100,000 to the cause, you will receive a flashy jinbei to wear!

There is a fandom debate on the identities of Billy and O'Nare, in which some fans suspect that these two may be Nemona's parents. After all, O'Nare specifically resembles Nemona in the face, and players know that Nemona grew up quite lavishly. Her parents are never home and Nemona had been primarily taken care of by housekeepers . . . and Billy and O'Nare are always recklessly on the go . . . hmmm.

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MUSIC: 8/10

Pokémon has never blown my mind with its soundtrack, but damn, these games have some bangers!

The music in "The Teal Mask" is very fitting, giving off a warm, seasonal vibe and incorporates the sounds present in traditional Japanese folk music. Overall, the DLC's soundtrack contains some of my favorite works in all of Pokémon Scarlet & Violet, and I am very happy that Game Freak decided to change up the wild battle and trainer battle themes to distinguish it from the base game.

Also, wow, I am still very happy that Toby Fox contributed to the soundtracks of "The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero" DLC!

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The music is funky, upbeat, and irresistibly hard not to dance to. It pairs splendidly well with the visual setting, and I feel as if I am roaming rural Japan.

I am always a fan of battle themes. So, some of my favorite tracks include:

Battle! Vs Carmine

Final Battle! Vs Kieran

Battle! Vs Okidogi, Munkidori, & Fezandipiti

Battle! Vs Ogrepon

Carmine's battle theme is bouncy and light-hearted, reflecting her humorously volatile nature yet her slow-growing friendliness towards the MC. The battle theme against The Loyal Three starts off sounding intimidating but then becomes super funky and whimsical. This gives it a de-escalating feel, as in that these Pokémon are actually not that much of a threat after all.

Ogerpon's theme is awesome! It is super folky and happy-sounding, and it made the final battle feel and sound emotionally significant in a positive way. And damn, I love Kieran's battle music, particularly the final version. His theme begins as light-hearted as Carmine's but becomes more intense the worse Kieran's mental state becomes. The final battle music sounds desperate. It sounds sad. It sounds vengeful. It sounds passionate. All of these strange, edgy, teenage hormones unleashed into an awesome tune.

Evidently I love battle music, but there are several other tracks I adore as well:

Mossui Town

Kitakami Hall

Get Stronger

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STORY: 7/10

I do genuinely believe that Generation IX is pretty top-tier when it comes to writing, next to Gen V and VI. At least when it comes to mainline Pokémon game standards.

I had a great time playing through the story and was invested in each line of dialogue. The story itself is about 8 hours, and it offers a pleasing mix of silliness and emotional investment. The star of the show was the friendship/rivalry between the player and Kieran, which the latter stumbled down a childish version of the joker pipeline.

As many people say, Scarlet & Violet's companion characters are some of the best. Nemona, Arven, and Penny are packed with personality, and especially when it comes to their post-game interactions, their similarities and differences bounce off of each other well. Including the MC, they all are outcasted children (and have parental issues) to varying degrees, united by a love for Pokémon and a desire for friendship.

Then, we have the new sibling duo from Kitakami: Kieran and Carmine, who also harbor [potentially] parental issues, and host of other problems.

Carmine and Kieran are natives of Kitakami, and strangely it seems there are not too many other NPCs of their age around. They live with their grandparents Hideko and Yukito in a pale yellow home, and like other locals, are majorly disconnected from a technological standpoint. Carmine has a phone, but Kieran does not, and the only other devices (a television and a game system) are located in the community center for tourists to stay at. Kieran and Carmine are battle maniacs; apparently, according to the "caretaker" of Kitakami, the two tend to cause some disturbances around the place. I am not quite sure if he is referring to their youthful boisterousness, craving for battle, or simply their short tempers (especially Carmine).

But, I was not bothered by them in the least. I was quite entertained.

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The story begins when the MC--Julianna or Florian--alongside some other random Uva/Naranja students are "randomly" selected by Professor Jacq to take a school trip to the little local town of Kitakami. The reasoning for this seemingly obscure location is that the trip is hosted by an affiliate sister school, Blueberry Academy. Blueberry is a new Unovan school that aims to strengthen its bonds with Uva/Naranja.

Kitakami is a small village located near the Kanto and Johto regions. Of course, the MC has no choice but to agree to go on the trip!

The group boards an airplane and takes a long bus ride, eventually making it to Kitakami. The class is led by Ms. Briar, a faculty member of Blueberry: Ms. Briar states that she is a descendant of Heath, the author of the Scarlet/Violet Book. In the uncensored book she possesses, Heath vaguely describes a legendary creature named Terapagos that has some sort of connection to the terastal phenomenon. She is on the hunt for this mysterious creature and wants to ultimately gain access to Area Zero in Paldea (which apparently she has been denied many times). The primary reason why Ms. Briar is hosting this trip is because the Crystal Pool located in Kitakami possesses terastal crystals akin to Area Zero. This could help with her research.

Anyways, the kids leave the bus and one of the students becomes car sick, so Briar sends the MC to Mossui Town, the one and only little village in the area, to get some help. The player then encounters Carmine and Kieran, two locals awaiting the arrival of the Paldean students, and Carmine immediately becomes hostile and xenophobic towards you. She challenges you to your first battle while Kieran quietly watches. They are eventually shooed off by the "caretaker," who properly greets you.

You all are cared for and fed and housed in the community center, and when players wake up the next day, the "school" part of the trip begins. You all gather outside of the community center and Briar, Carmine, and Kieran officially introduce themselves. Carmine and Kieran, while born in Kitakami, actually attend Blueberry Academy (which is in the Unova region), I suppose because they are notable for their battling skills. Blueberry is known to specialize teaching the art of Pokémon battling.

As a part of a school task, the "caretaker" instructs each student to pair up and visit three signboards across Kitakami that detail its history . . . or rather historically-based folktales. Briar encourages intermingling between the Uva/Naranja kids and the Blueberry kids. The MC talks to the Kitakami siblings and Carmine asserts that her little brother has been ogling at you, much to Kieran's embarrassment. She then encourages a battle between you two, which is conducted. Depending on your play style, this fight can be kind of easy or surprisingly a struggle. The outcome of the battle regardless makes Kieran even more fascinated with Julianna/Florian.

As such, the MC ends up pairing with Kieran. Kieran is very timid so he kind of avoids actually walking with you to the signboards. First, players traverse through the apple orchards and make it to Loyalty Plaza, where the first signboard talks about the tale of The Loyal Three sacrificing their lives to protect Kitakami from the monstrous ogre. There are statues of these honored Pokémon in the plaza; and Kieran opens up a bit and claims that he finds the ogre actually pretty cool and powerful. After all, the ogre, who is a grass type, murdered three Pokémon with a type advantage. Kieran mentions that he used to go to the ogre's hiding spot as a kid at night and would be yelled at by the adult villagers.

The MC and Kieran then head towards the Festival Hall where the second signboard is. This board continues to talk about the tale, and references the ogre's four masks: the cornerstone mask, the hearthflame mask, the wellspring mask, and the teal mask. Kieran opens up to the MC even more and talks about his fascination with the ogre, and how it doesn't care about what anyone else thinks, and it can hold its ground and is strong and willful. He then invites you to come check out the "Dreaded Den" on Oni Mountain, where the ogre is said to be. The MC agrees and travels there.

Here, Kieran and the MC battle again, because Kieran hopes a display of strength will draw out the ogre. It does not . . . to their knowledge. The two go inside the den and look around the cramped area. Sunset arrives, and then Kieran invites Florian/Julianna to attend the Festival of Masks with him that begins that night.

Later, you are given a green jinbei and attend the festival alongside Kieran and Carmine. You hang with Kieran for a bit until Carmine has a little blowup episode, and while you are off on your own, you see Ogerpon walking around alone. Thinking it to be a masked child at first, the MC approaches it. Then, Carmine finds you and calls out to you. The ogre runs away, accidentally dropping and chipping its teal mask. When Kieran catches up to you guys, you lie to him and say you saw nothing. Kieran thinks you and Carmine were talking about him behind his back.

The next day, Yukito reveals to Carmine and the MC about the true story of the tale of Ogerpon and The Loyal Three. It turns out, the roles were reversed. Ogerpon has been defending itself from the three Pokémon and went on a rampage after finding all of its masks stolen and its original companion human presumably dead. The "Loyal" Three were greedy, murderous thieves all along.

Kieran overhears this conversation, after having been vehemently shooed away by Carmine. He becomes upset, especially since he is a superfan of the ogre, and his entire life he had believed Ogerpon to be the "good guy" where nobody else in Kitakami believed this to be true.

You go to the last signboard with Kieran, and the latter noticeably seems more tense and withdrawn than before. The MC battles Kieran, and Kieran loses, lamenting privately that he is too weak. The last signboard gets a little wild and says that if you encounter the ogre without a mask, it will steal your soul. Kieran asserts that there is no way that is true, and then begins talking about how his great great great great great grandfather was a mask maker (in which the mask maker is responsible for making Ogerpon's mask). The MC just says that's cool, and via body language, one can tell that Kieran is pissed by this because he subtly tried to incite the player to tell him the truth. Kieran then leaves.

Yukito tells the player that he cannot fix up the mask without a terastal crystal, so the MC and Carmine head up to the Crystal Pool to retrieve one. They are met by Ms. Briar, and Carmine angrily questions why she is there because the Crystal Pool is considered a sacred space. Briar claims that she got permission from the "caretaker" and needs to look at the pool for research purposes.

The duo then tries to give Yukito the crystal, but the grandpa says that Kieran ran off with the teal mask. Carmine wonders how in the hell Kieran figured out the truth, so you two chase after him to Loyalty Plaza. Kieran is violently upset, challenges the MC to a battle, loses, and then edgily punches the statue of The Loyal Three while holding the teal mask. He begrudgingly returns the teal mask to you and runs away. Carmine wonders if he is becoming hormonal or something.

Then, suddenly, the statue of The Loyal Three explodes into a purple fume . . . and The Loyal Three are found standing on top of the wreckage, alive. It is theorized that Kieran may have accidentally revived those fools because he touched the monument holding the teal mask, which according to the signboards, is said to have revival/restorative properties. The three thieves run off and you follow them to the Festival Hall. There, the "caretaker" and other townspeople admit that they were fascinated with their return, and thus fed the Pokémon nutritional mochi (perhaps with herba mystical or something) and had returned their stolen masks to them. Carmine becomes outraged and dubs them The "Lousy" Three. She tells the MC to go rescue Ogerpon from their clutches while she quickly goes to retrieve the fixed teal mask from Yukito.

The player finds Ogerpon surrounded and defenseless without its masks and fights Munkidori. Carmine and Kieran show up eventually, scaring the Pokémon away. Kieran apologizes to the player. He expresses that he wants to return the teal mask to Ogerpon himself. However, the ogre gets flustered around unfamiliar people and does not accept it. The MC then tries and Ogerpon happily receives the mask . . . much to Kieran's annoyance.

The three "friends" then develop a little mask retrieval squad, which they will seek out each of The Loyal Three, defeat them, and return each mask to Ogerpon. The ogre begins to follow the MC around, and eventually Kieran backs out of the task force, mysteriously saying that he has something else to do.

After Carmine and Florian/Julianna defeat the titan-ized Loyal Three, Kieran request them to return to Mossui with Ogerpon. Everyone feels reluctant, since the townspeople believe Ogerpon to be a violent gremlin, but Kieran assures them that it is going to be okay. The quartet returns to Mossui, and much to Carmine and the MC's surprise, the townsfolk welcome Ogerpon with sorrow and joy. They apologize to the ogre, expressing that they had misunderstood history, not even realizing that any of the tales were actually true in the first place. I guess it helps that the inaccurate story of Ogerpon is so many generations old, that the people of Kitakami lacked extreme emotional connections to it. The townsfolk just like to celebrate and wear masks.

Yukito says that Kieran shouted at everyone about the true story of The "Lousy Three," breaking out of his socially anxious character temporarily. Kieran had good intentions to help Ogerpon, but ultimately he avoided any chance to actually bond with her as she roamed around with Florian/Julianna.

Carmine, Kieran, and the MC set off back to the "Dreaded Den" to return the ogre to her home. However, as Ogerpon approaches the den, she turns around and runs up to the player, expressing the desire to tag along with him/her. Ogerpon had been seeking a companion like she did so long ago, and I suppose the MC fit the bill. Kieran, at this point, undergoes a tantrum and tells that player that they should battle to see who gets Ogerpon. Carmine tells him that it is not his choice, and the ogre can make her own choices. Kieran does not give a shit (well, he kind of does, but he is having a mental breakdown), and the two of you battle. Kieran fights for his life but is no match against the MC's determination (and ability to terastalize). He falls to the ground, punches the soil, and dies on the inside.

Then, the MC fights Ogerpon, because he/she has to prove their strength to the ogre. Ultimately you succeed and proceed to catch Ogerpon in a pokeball. Carmine cheers, and Kieran brokenly tries to congratulate you, before he runs away crying.

The next day, another class meeting is held in front of the community center. Everyone is there except Kieran, who "does not feel well." Each pair had finished seeing all the signboards, and then Ms. Briar expressed that a sudden development occurred in Area Zero, and she must leave--which means taking Carmine and Kieran back with her. The kids wave them all goodbye, and Carmine tells everyone that she is super sorry about her initial xenophobia, and that she had so much fun with the MC and wishes to see him/her again in the future.

The Blueberry goers then leave. Before "The Teal Mask" concludes, there is a brief scene of Kieran losing his shit in his bedroom. He is shaking his head, grabbing his hair, talking about a deep desire to grow stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. He creepily smiles, and then a "to be continued" screen appears.

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The story is full of positives for the most part. Though, I find it disappointing and strange that the other Paldean students are full-on nobodies. These kids do not even have proper names or anything remarkably unique about them. It just felt unusually random. I have heard complaints/questions wondering why the other students could have not just been characters we already know and love, like Arven and Nemona? Why could they not have tagged along? In fact, our Paldea friends are entirely absent from "The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero" DLC (which is especially weird because Arven is so connected with the terastal case).

While this is kind of sad, it is actually very much understandable. "The Teal Mask" is Kieran's story if anything. The plot was high-key focused on the relationship between Kieran and you; a wicked plot progression as Kieran goes from a sweet, shy, timid child who is absolutely fascinated with the MC, to a jealous, egotistical, confused, edgy asshole who wants to destroy you.

This plot highlighted something that most Pokémon games fail to emphasize: you have it all. Kieran can try so hard and give everything he has, but will never be the main character. Florian/Julianna is the MC. Kieran is programmed, story-wise, into having to lose to you. Every time. Kieran's reactions to his failures are quite realistic--he's bitter, jealous, and upset with himself. It is not "oh ha ha you win AGAIN wow you are so cool!" Well, it began that way, up until the MC repeatedly batted him down.

So, I think that having our character's old happy-go-lucky friends would very much get in the way of the development of this dynamic. Kieran and Carmine needed their time to shine. Plus, who knows how it works chronologically? You can activate the DLC almost at any point. So . . . what if the MC met Kieran before he met Penny or became friends with Arven?

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I appreciate the length of "The Teal Mask." It is about eight hours story-wise, but I invested significantly more than that doing everything. I thought the plot would end earlier . . . I did not expect Kieran's mental breakdown.

The game is not too deep nor dramatic, but highly enjoyable. As mentioned, there are great fleshed-out characters like Carmine and Kieran, and then the story of Ogerpon herself is fascinating.

The folklore is based off of Momotarō, or "Peach Boy," a popular Japanese folktale. This allusion becomes more apparent with the mythical prologue story available after beating the entire DLC.

Ogerpon's tale has some dark elements to it. She killed The Loyal Three (and tried to kill Pecharunt) to avenge her deceased companion and get her masks back. I adore the way in which the story was animated too: in the game, Yukito talks about the true historical events and there are little wood-block-like clips that demonstrate these events. On YouTube, Pokémon uploaded an epic video about Pecharunt's story, and I find the animation to be super enticing with a storybook aesthetic.

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Having such intriguing folklore for the legendary Pokémon is such a huge plus. I also liked the toned-down plotline of "The Teal Mask":

No, the end of the world was not happening (yet). It was simply a story of some teenagers having drama and miscommunication . . . . but with flare. All the characters are actually interesting, and it is cool to see how a foreign, "city" boy/girl interacts with two emotionally volatile rural kids, one of which is obsessed with the "bad guy" of a folktale.

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SETTING: 7/10

If you can look beyond the janky graphics, I find that the land of Kitakami to be quite pretty. To my knowledge, it may be based on a place of the same name in the Iwate prefecture of Japan. This is further evidenced by the way the townspeople speak, particularly Kieran. He harbors a bit of a Tōhoku dialect which is considered the "typical" rural Japanese accent.

And poor Kieran. In "The Indigo Disk" following the epilogue, Kieran can be found in the BB clubroom stating that he used to be embarrassed by the way he spoke. You can kind of tell that he attempted to ditch his dialect in part 2 of the DLC, but it would surface during his shy or geeky moments. I am not sure as to why Carmine's Tōhoku dialect is not very prominent.

---------- Some players might have wanted a larger DLC map, but I believe that Kitakami is a perfect size. It is actually kind of big, hosting only one town of Mossui and several other staple areas like Oni Mountain, Loyalty Plaza, and the Festival Hall. There are several other locations that players can travel to and catch or battle Pokémon and trainers there. This includes the Mossfell Confluence, Paradise Barren, and Wistful Fields, among others. Some of these places do have signboards that are a part of the main plot, and other areas--like the Timeless Woods--are where Perrin and the "blood moon beast" side quest occurs.

There are very few shops here: Peachy's, located in Mossui Town, sells pretty much anything you need as well as brand new glove and sock options. The stands at the Festival Hall allow players to purchase a variety of masks (e.g., Pikachu, Eevee, Ogerpon, and each of The Loyal Three) as well as food options, like candied apples.

I say the size of the map is good because, for one, I think that an overly massive Pokémon DLC would be very time-consuming and overwhelming. Paldea is big enough as is. Secondly, as can be seen with the performance issues, I am not sure if the Nintendo Switch could handle that much more. The Crystal Pool, as small as it is, lags horrifically. Thirdly, which is probably one of the biggest critiques I have with then main game as well, is that too many areas are otherwise kind of . . . lifeless.

In the Paldea map, there is a surplus of areas of just nothing. The open world is novel at first, but there are a host of spots that lack NPC density and any remarkable geological or architectural standout points. Paldea is too open for its own good. Game Freak has yet to master this.

Lucky for Kitakami, it is just small enough so that the pockets of barrenness are not too noticeable. Sure, there is an unnecessary amount of mini cave entrances and completely pointless islets, but most of the significant locations are memorable enough. The lack of NPCs is not too bad either because Kitakami is supposed to be an incredibly small village. It helps that there are ogre clan members scattered throughout the map so you can find and challenge these lunatics.

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The Festival Hall would be my favorite location. Sure, it was kind of sparse with the vendors, but this is rural Kanto/Johto. The hall has its charm: the music, the colors, the twinkling night sky, and the masks adorned by all the villagers . . . it really appealed to me.

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My only other complaint is that players still cannot enter people's houses. I know it is culturally rude, but you were able to do so in older Pokémon games!

This was a major disappointment for Pokémon Scarlet & Violet as a whole; and another indicator that the open-world system was to big for Game Freak to handle. In the base game, you could enter the MC's own house as well as Nemona's (and kind of Arven's), but in the DLC you cannot go into Kieran and Carmine's home, even though Kieran invites you there!

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COMBAT: 8/10

As mentioned, the difficulty of the game was a wonderful surprise in my humble opinion. The battle system is not any different from the main game of course. Players still conduct single battles, but alas in Kitakami, nobody is going to terastalize. That gimmick is absent in battling despite the presence of terastal crystals--in that case you as the player can still terastalize your Pokémon.

Though . . . how? Terastalization is majorly a Paldean thing, and despite the presence terastal crystals, only Ogerpon terastalizes. Why does some "land in the east" have the same phenomenon happening in theory?

The details are vague and unexplained. You would think these story elements could be solved in "The Indigo Disk." Here is a link that suggests some theories:

You know, with Pokémon, each generation is going to have a gimmick that is abandoned. At least there is some degree of lore behind terastalization in Scarlet & Violet.

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The hardest battles of the DLC are the seven ogre clan members. The ogre clan leader, who is standing in front of the Festival Hall, will give you riddles and clues on their whereabouts. These trainers fight at level 75, and I found them to be quite challenging and satisfying to win.

Carmine's battles are easy, especially the first fight in which she sends out Poochyena. Seriously! Her Sinistcha (which is a new Pokémon introduced in "The Teal Mask") however can be a tough one with that "matcha gotcha" move. Though, I would say Carmine's Sinistcha works better as a support Pokémon during double battles.

Kieran on the other hand . . . players may struggle with him, especially if you beginning the DLC with a fresh and new team or are at the same level as these trainers. The more you battle Kieran, the tougher he gets, especially in the final fight where Kieran goes psycho mode. Although, poor buddy cannot terastalize like you can.

I appreciate how the Kitakami siblings are not stagnant with their lineup, and despite the hefty amount of battles you have to do with them, the party and dynamics change every time. Kieran's Yanma, Nuzleaf, and Sentret all evolve, and he catches a Gliscor and Probopass eventually. His ace is his Dipplin (another new Pokémon), which looks cool and cute but fights mediocre. Kieran also attempts to use items in battle, like focus sashes and berries, in desperate attempts to beat the MC. So yes, Kieran is pulling out the strats, and has a degree of intelligent/predictive AI. Some might find this challenging in a positive way, or rather annoying.

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The battles with the DLC's new legendary Pokémon were pretty great. Not necessarily hard, but still fun.

Battling against The Loyal Three for the first time demonstrates the consequences of the naive townsfolk nourishing them back to health with all of their best mochi. Munkidori, Okidogi, and Fezandipiti all become titan Pokémon that you and Carmine must face against (minus Kieran who abandoned the squad). Holy hell, these guys are huge! When I saw the titanic Munkidori for the first time, I wanted to cringe and laugh and cry. His big head made him appear rather funny-looking.

The purpose of the double battles against the titan Pokémon are perhaps there to give you a taste on what is to come in part two of the DLC (which takes place in Unova, where everyone engages in double battles only).

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The final battle against Ogerpon herself was a wonderful experience. However, she is shiny-locked (bummer) and has a 100% catch rate, so it eliminates some tediousness.

Ogerpon will go through four stages of battle, and is the only Pokémon to terastalize in "The Teal Mask." Players fight all four masks, which changes Ogerpon's type from pure grass to grass and rock, fire, or water type. Ogerpon terastalizes all four times which showcases the immense power of Ogerpon, and how each mask themselves are the ones that terastalize (the ogre is just chilling behind it). This fight feels incredibly rewarding. The fight is also tough to get through with the changing types, combined with the overpowered cudgel move.

I am certain the most players sent out that friend ball to catch the ogre, right?

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I do not have many complaints when it comes to the combat, but I would have not minded an even greater challenge. I am sure that players with all level 100 Pokémon would agree!

The lag also made some of the battles (and the buildup to them) a bit more cringe. The Milotic fight . . . I don't even understand it.

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ENJOYMENT: 8/10

In all, I had a wonderful time playing through "The Teal Mask." Scarlet & Violet has its ups and downs, but there is no denying that Kieran and Carmine are wonderfully complex and amusing characters, and that the writing and music are exemplary.

Part one of the DLC offers a nice challenge to even more competitive players, and I can appreciate the bonus introductions of new minigames, side quests, and even new Pokémon in the Kitakami dex. Is it worth over $30 (which includes "The Indigo Disk")? I am unsure about that . . . but you know, Pokémon fans do torture themselves.

The lack of an attempt to fix the FPS and other graphical issues is not excusable, however. I am not always too concerned about these topics, and I do not think that these issues fully detracted from the actual enjoyment of the game, but it is certainly embarrassing for Game Freak.

But yeah. So I guess what I'm trying to say is . . . I had fun!

TOTAL TIME SPENT: 20 hours (an estimate. I am slow af)

OVERALL SCORE: 7/10

PLATFORM USED: Nintendo Switch

DATE OF COMPLETION: April 2024

[inventors-fair]

Double-Checked: Mistake Contest Winners!

Our winners this week are @helloijustreadyourpost, @hypexion, and @reaperfromtheabyss!

@helloijustreadyourpost — Boros Bomb Squad

I almost gave this card a 0/10, as I was talking about in the modhouse, because you missed the best possible flavor text: "One way or another, something's getting disarmed." C'mon, it was right there! I'm mostly yanking your chain, though, because while it might be a little pushed depending on the environment, I think this card is both a) situational enough so it's not a problem and b) very funny. As a common, there's not much that you need to do to have situational removal work, so this card as a Shatter-bear is probably comparable to other commons without too much issue.

Humorously, the mistake aspect of this card is pretty on the nose. The Boros grunts have no idea what they're doing, and goblins on Ravnica usually meet this sort of fate. Or at least, they do if they're the subjects of Izzet experiments. Reading up on the goblin varieties, it's funny in a sad way that these goblins have a sense of duty and self-preservation and yet are still being sent in to do dangerous technical work that's probably gonna get them blown up. I suppose that's what happens when you try to join the league of the demigod-angel-cop-ghosts, right? I know the trope has been done before, but that doesn't matter when it's done right. Mistakes are following these guys all the way up the chain of command.

@hypexion — Archive Overflow

You are playing with fire—or, well, knowledge, but knowledge that is also fire. This card in limited is a phenomenal way to refill your hand and get every land drop and advantage you need, and in any kind of storm-enabling combo for casual/commander play, hoooooly crap, this card is good. Beyond good. Obviously the discard will get you if you're not careful, but for one, this ability will resolve before card-draw spells so metering it will be a skill check, and for two, there are really fun madness decks that would absolutely love this card.

Maybe a zillion years ago this card would've been too powerful, but I think that there are dangerous games at stake here. Honestly drawing out in limited would be a genuine concern. But that's balance for you, and I'm a fan of what this card does. I especially like the Kamigawa callback to both the seven-card "Wisdom" throwback and the cheeky One with Nothing callback, intentional or unintentional as that might be. In the realm of big blue draw enchantments, this is one of the trickier ones to contend with, and you did a phenomenal job with a deceptively simple concept.

@reaperfromtheabyss — Collateral Seizer

This week had a few weird cards, but again, lots of trope-adjacent ones, and demonic contracts were surprisingly few and far between in terms of magical mistakes. Seems fitting that this one does it both well and really scarily. I think that if you're going into a limited game in black, you should have some kind of plan following this card, because otherwise... Well, maybe you'll have a 7/7 flier, sure, but what's happening on the other side? I think that the flavor of this card is solid enough for me to give its relatively normal base a pass, i.e. what it does and what it says depicts a game state that both resonates and creates a thoughtful callback to the best of Magic's drawbacks. (FWIW: because you control the ability, I don't think you need "you" in the second paragraph.)

The first mistake that people might make is not realizing that the Collateral Seizer can actually count itself, so even if they get rid of it, you'll get back your own demon. It's seizing everyone's collateral! Following that, the ability to exile-recur your big stuff is a major bonus in any color combination, because if you're ahead on board, this card offers your opponents one big swing, and then presumably you draw into the crackback and/or you can chump with your nontoken creatures and make big tokens to swing at them too. I'm thinking of this in the best possible terms, which...might be a mistake, actually. Hold on. Are you playing 4D chess with me here to get me to think I can make this card work? Is that the contract? Huh. ... Perhaps not, but I don't really know what "Marley-esque" means and the internet's no help, so that's all I got.

Runners comin' up soon. Woot. @abelzumi