#this whole thing is about proving a point and ending a debate

[hell-propaganda]

The fact that God hasn’t struck me down dead means that he is allowing me to speak. I have an important role in this whole game whether you like it or not. Jesus let Satan say his piece in the desert and try his shot, and today, you’re reading this post

Worship means nothing if it’s your only option

[torybrennan]

show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw

[courfee]

just went through all my ao3 fics and edited all the tags because i feel like i overtag a lot and it always bothered me. tbf the most overtagging happens in my relationship/character tags but i find it super difficult to judge who/which relationship is important. like friendships are So Important in my fics i dont feel like i cant tag less there? especially my longer fics. amtc james&sirius and black brothers are in my mind at least if not more important than literally amtc jegulus. i know its a jegulus fic but also jegulus is just the catalyst for other relationship dynamics. how do you tag that stuff

[gin-juice-tonic]

Hello. It's me again. I'm sure you've realized by now what this type of introduction to a post is leading into. I'm going to bring up another page in the bill book. This entry is going to be less about "proving" anything, but rather it's just something I'd like to discuss. (Also just a warning, this one ends up a bit long due to how many photos are included!)

As I have said before. I had many many thoughts, and I am liable to talk about them until they're all talked out. I want to focus on a single page again (Or I guess, a single double page).

Sorry for the kinda small image here, but don't worry. I'll point out the part I want to talk about.

What I find strange about these pages in particular, aside from the fact that it starts to become written like some sort of noir novel and that Bill has chosen to speak like a femme-fatale, is the new idea it suggests to us:

Bill at some point told Ford he was from another dimension.

I say "at some point" because Ford doesn't react to the idea like this is new information here. Why do I find that strange? Well, for one thing, there's never anything that would indicate Ford knew this pre-portal.

To start, we know that Bill introduces himself to Ford as "a Muse"

Notice the way Ford speaks about him. "From a higher plane, divine, otherworldly". He makes some guesses on the second page (spirit, alien, dream, etc), but nothing to indicate they've discussed the whole other-dimension thing yet. Of course, this is still early, so let's skip further ahead.

Here's where we start talking about other dimensions. Or should I say "dimension"?

Bill has told his "weirdness dimension" lie to Ford, but there's no implication that he himself is from this dimension. And not to mention, this dimension hasn't been destroyed, so naturally it cannot be the one he talks about in the Bill Book pages.

(Later Edit: There used to be another line of reasoning here, I have since removed it.)

Regardless, Bill is still being referred to as a divine thing, unknowable and even possibly not real. Safe to say he isn't inter-dimensional yet, so let's continue.

(this section has been edited from its original wording)

Here Fiddleford and his idiosyncrasies enter the fray, and Ford debates telling him. Fiddleford is aware they're building a portal to another dimension, Ford could just explain that Bill himself is from one. But Ford's attitude toward the situation veers towards the less scientific. Ford still considers Bill to be something divine, and is worried Fiddleford would think black magic is happening. Worrying that Fiddleford would think he's gone mad is one thing, but the emphasis on black magic and fiddlefords superstitions strike me as odd.

If Ford had something to suggest Bill's essence was more scientific in nature, I.E. him being from another dimension himself, I think he would've put that into consideration in that when deciding whether to reveal him to Fiddleford, or at the very least would've given up the emphasis on his superstitious nature

Continuing on.

We're closing in on the portal test now. Ford refers to him here as a "non corporeal entity". He is non corporeal so long as he exists only in the astral plane... but is that what Ford is talking about? Or does he believe Bill has only ever existed in the mindscape? Does he know yet? I don't think this page actually includes much of an answer, I just figured it should be included.

The next-next page does have Ford cheekily refer to him as "imaginary" though...

Fairly soon after this, the portal incident and the betrayal happens. Could it be possible that somewhere within these pages, Bill spilt his home dimension backstory? I'm still inclined to think not.

These questions have no definitive answer, but I am led to wonder:

1) Bill's whole dynamic with Ford is that of a "Muse" inspiring intelligent minds throughout history, wouldn't the reveal of him being from another dimension call this dynamic into question?

2) If Bill is something from another dimension, wouldn't asking Ford to build a portal to a dimension totally-not-at-all-related-to-him become suspicious? Would Ford not question his motives at that point?

(Later Edit: There used to be another line of reasoning here, I have since removed it. Yeah, again.)

(A second later edit: As has been pointed out in the reblogs, some of what I have discussed thus far fails to take into account the mental state Ford could be in due to Bill's abuse/manipulations. Expecting perfect logic and reasoning from him like the two questions above are asking for may not be fair. I am leaving them in this post so the aforementioned reblogs continue to make sense, but again, how his abuse factors into his logic and decision-making should be taken into consideration.)

.

.

I have just a few more post-portal pages to show to continue my long winded discussion with as well.

The pages about Exwhylia read a bit weirdly, admittedly. The first page Ford states he thought this was Bill's birthplace, the second page he states he believes Bill came from somewhere similar but was mysteriously destroyed.

If Ford thought this 2-D dimension had been reduced to an atom before he got there, how could he have planned to go? And I should hardly call being destroyed by a monster a "mysterious" method of destroying. Whatever the explanation for the way these are written is, I don't think they read like Bill has ever spoken to Ford about his home dimension.

Additionally, he mentions his "quest to defeat Bill" is what led him here, which I feel implies he learned of this place after being portaled.

I wish I had a good closer for this mini-essay, but the questions I asked above the Exwhylia section were originally supposed to be it. I don't believe Bill had told Ford about his dimension. That's the end of the sentence.

MAJOR ADDENDUM:

I can't believe I missed this (I can believe it) but.. In the book of Bill, Ford refers to Bill as "extradimensional" after their very first meeting!

Pinpointing the answer to my timeline question supposedly to this exact moment. In my opinion, if you combine this with everything I've mentioned above, no part of this idea from the book of bill makes any sense at all. You might remember at the beginning of this post, Ford guesses at what type of creature Bill is... two years after this last page here was supposed to have been written.

Additionally, if he had known there was an "extradimensional" creature in gravity falls at this point in time, I should hardly think it would've taken him two whole years after that to think of the idea that the Falls' weirdness may come from out of our dimension! (Not to mention in J3 he tells us the idea was told to him directly from Bill. Two years elapsed between these conversations? Knowing Ford, not likely. Again, even if Bill somehow did avoid telling him that whole time, I think Ford very well could've figured it out on his own by then.)

[countdykulaa]

﹟ ⠀ ⠀ 𝟎𝟎𝟏 ⠀ . ⠀ ⠀ I LOVE YOU (ITS RUINING MY LIFE)⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ ❪ ⠀ lonely! reader x straight! abby pt1. ⠀ ❫

‟ i could kiss a girl but i could never date one”

You're new to the campus , just transferred from your small town where nobody cared to know you. You tell yourself that this year will be different , any lonliness felt will become a rarity and not a fundamental part of your life . You stay true to your promise and managed to make a few friends in your class, smile and wave at them , staying quiet while offering anything in your possession so they know you're not too much of a burden. Days spent alone are slowly spent with the mundane routine of assignments, lectures and unsteady friendships and you tell yourself that that is enough. your self hatred is slowly covered through dry humour as you let your walls down.

One day your friend turns to you , ever the social butterfly she is and asks you if you'd consider joining debate. you didn't even know the campus offered that club , she explains how its all about who you know. you, filled with albeit too much knowledge on all things political agree. your first day is unlike anything you've ever experienced. you arrive an hour late, installing your faux locs had taken too long and by the time you'd arrived they were already in a heated debate on the death penalty. you rush out your apologies, hurrying to find a seat when you see her . It's only later when she hurriedly gives you her contact details that you figure out her name. Abby Anderson. Her dirty brown hair is down , slightly falling over her face as she passionately argues her point. If you didn't consider her lack of respect for human rights and blatant disregard on what allowing the government to dictate who lives and dies obscene you might've almost found her passion endearing.

You jump right in . Despite your usual, cowering demeanor you challenge her head-on, dismantling each point until all other voices fade away besides the two of you. You discover that while you spend each second stuttering and self-doubting , she's a natural. The session ends before a winner can be announced and the hostility that filled your body fades away . She asks you if you've eaten , you emphasize how hungry you are and she suggests getting some fries. You spend the whole time laughing and talking, funny stories and antidotes passed between the two of you like you've known each other for years. It's in this chat that you let your sexuality slip , never quite used to finally admitting out loud nor the shame that weighs down your body. She responds by sharing her own experiences with women , ending with the proclamation that she'd never deal with women ever again. Too much heartbreak with little reward. Men are what she wants and all she'll ever have. All you seem to hear is that she once fell for a woman.

The next few times you're with her is with your mutual debate friends , always a man, always someone who looks at her with eyes that you sometimes fantasize about getting from her. You shake these thoughts away , telling yourself that its nothing besides a silly crush. Besides, you'd never be able to give her anything besides the thing you despise the most … yourself.

You slowly start to get closer, days spent with her slowly start to replace the loneliness that plagues your spirit. You decidely ignore any statements on how some lesbians "secretly want to be men" , too ashamed by your own lesbianism to critique how someone interprets anyone elses. An obsessive urge to always be near her, serve her, please her starts to fester in your soul. You spend your days wondering how else you can prove your worth to her, what other mountains you can climb, hights you can reach to make her see your use. Soon enough all things that don't revolve around her or your steady grades are done away with. Any aspects of yourself that don't live to serve her are harshly ripped from yourself. Any friends steadily gained from anything besides debate are forgotten about , all promises to practice self-care deemed illogical in your head. What if Abby needed you ? It's not like you needed to spend time with anyone else anyway. Abby's friendship would make up for where you lacked . You never seem to be alone with her though , either with your friend owen or one of her other friends. you tell yourself that you don't care , any time spent with her is a blessing you never seem to deserve.

One day, as you're fooling around legs swaying aimlessly as you sit on a table in a random lecture hall, eyes glued on the woman before you as she finishes her work, she confides in you. Whispers all about her past discretions, long lost loves she tends to think about when getting to know Owen , the growing feelings she has for him and the guilt that haunts her frame with every second spent. You don't know whether it's the secrets shared between you two and the vulnerability of it all but sometimes you swear she looks at you with eyes that make you think she could love you too.

PLUTO SPEAKS: okay this was my first ever fic! feeling so vulnerable rn. probably gonna make it a three part series.

[fumifooms]

Namalin

Namari x Falin

Easy short rarepair spotlight post for prosperity~ This one I didn’t think of on my own for once, I don’t know if it’s just I forgot the decided-on ship name or what but I remember seeing really nice art and a couple posts about it that I can’t find again 💔 Namalin warrior you are out there and not forgotten ty for making me see the light

I like that Namari’s critical of Falin! I have a whole character analysis on Falin if you’re interested, but it’s generally well noticed that people around Falin idealize her a lot. Laios, Marcille and Toshiro all put her on a pedestral of ultimate goodness in the world, a saintess if nothing short of perfection. Sounds like Chilchuck felt sort of creeped out by her vibes, uncomfortable because he couldn’t read her, so unlike Namari it seems he preferred steering clear of her rather than debate opposed ideologies like he usually does. Makes sense if unlike Namari his issue is with her cryptic aura rather than the stances she does show. "… The dungeon is no place for soft hearts" my ultimate namalin scene <333 It’s fun because while this scene is there to show us a lot of things, mostly to establish Falin’s characters better as it’s the first flashback of her we get, the conflict in it is more than anything else Falin vs Namari in how they contrast and clash and approach situations differently. Namari wants security in swift effective violence and thinks Falin too soft for her own good when she prefers a pacifist approach and promotes compassion even for the "undeserving" in Namari’s eyes. Falin steps between the battle ready Namari and the ghost, fearless. Falin effortlessly gently exorcises the ghost without one step back, quickly. Falin proves someone wrong. Falin proves someone wrong.

I love thinking of Namari being surprised when she learns new aspects of Falin. I like Falin having the power to shape people’s views on her. With Falin ships the most fun part for me is usually that point where Falin/the relationship becomes a clean slate: the person realizes they haven’t been seeing all of her, realizes there’s more of her they hadn’t noticed or that she hadn’t shown, that there’s change, a shift in the views on each other and the dynamic a bit.

Namari often feels like an external view looking in to me… I need to make a proper analysis on her but like. I made a lamari post once (analytic more than personally invested rip sorry) and I go with the same Namari take here, I think she’s someone who tends to have an outsider view on people and relationships if that makes sense, she’s a coworker before anything else and she’s content staying at a distance, she’s not objective per se but she tries to keep feelings out of her choices and how she sees people (her lil arc on not staying to save Falin despite the existing camaderie but in the end asking to work for the Flokes more because she wants to stay with them). She’s serious no nonsense on the job but friendly off the job and likes having casual friends, but she’s not… She doesn’t really feel connected to the group. She’s so focused on doing her job, even if she does get impulsive and passionate and too assertive for her bosses’ tastes, so focused on working her reputation and life from the ground up that that professionalism and attitude limits her social life. It doesn’t help that her reputation makes her widely judged, so she probably enters social spaces on the derensive. The closest person she was to pre-canon as far as we knew was Chilchuck and even they have a very "coworker I get along with" dynamic more than friends, with a similar sense of boundaries, humor and world view. Also like canon says a few time, the party didn’t really try to get to know each other well pre-canon, didn’t hang out after work often no one knew where Marcille was from and no one thought that was weird (also how no one had the instinct to ask about Senshi’s past) etc, the notable exception is we’re shown Namari and Chilchuck hitting taverns together and having a grand time. Everyone’s fine with things as they are, they get along decent even if not everyone considers each other friends exactly. Where I’m getting at is that to me, it feels like she tries keeping emotional distance. Emotional distance from people in general being something which in my interpretation of Falin is also present, which would make it a theme and common thread interesting to explore imo. But yes like, Namari looking at Falin, and how everyone treats her, and being more skeptical, seeing her for what she is a little more, maybe even uncharitable. "Why is everyone treating her like she’s all that? She’s gentle sure but seems like a doormat to me" and then one day she comes running up with her mace ready to cave in someone’s face to protect Laios. So yeah… Keeping her distance but one day Falin offering her some gentleness that feels very too personal for someone who’s not used to being genuine and simply showing that they care… Them talking a bit which leaves her stumped and mindblown in a quiet way when Falin defies her expectations. Namari growing on Falin when she stays and decides to open herself up more, or when Falin ends up reading her really well like she’s shown to do with her parents and Marcille’s worries. She’s very attuned to worrying and why and when different people do it especially when it comes to when they worry for others, perhaps because she does a lot of that too, so I think she’d nail down how Namari does care for the rest of the party and it’d make Namari feel seen both in a warm validating way and in a scared naked way.

We see in the tentacles chapter that she’s someone’s who’s very protective and looks out for her peers in a tough love way. She’s overbearing but it’s because she wants everyone to have the best chances. I like that she’s very confrontational and somewhat pushy and rude, but it’s tough love, it’s protective care: asserting herself to better protect and defend. The opposite of Falin’s type of care, quiet and self-sacrificial devotion. They’re barbarian x healer but they’re also bodyguard x bodyguard in their attitude and role. … What I want for them is slow burn slice of life of being coworkers and slowly getting to know each other better, pretty fluffy, but god, put this way they’d have the potential to be such a hot layered mess of insanely mutually devoted codependence… Falin taking a hit for Namari and Namari being scarred by it forever, lots of arguments about it, my god.

I like that she’s the fighter to Falin’s healer. I looove thinking of scenes of Falin healing Namari, necessitating touch and like, a moment of slowing down and sitting together in silence, too intimate, the perfect opportunity to connect that neither truly want to take until one day they do. I love how onesided I imagine the relationship would be at first. Again, as per my interpretation of Falin, I think Namari would have all these little observations and opinions on Falin meanwhile Falin really doesn’t think of Namari much at first. So Namari thinks a lot about Falin and thinks she’s got her pinned down but hasn’t (not that she’s fully wrong, she’d have credit and confront Falin on some of her flaws like the doormat thing), while Falin is very passive about Namari and doesn’t think deeply about her or anything but she read Namari’s insecurities and logic well. Not unlike how Laios was the one who seemed to understand Namari’s way of care the best in the party in the tentacles episode, and how he was very understanding of her choice and reasons. In Falin’s case it’s more like, the objectivity of passivity… She cares about Namari less than Laios who generally seeks to form bonds, so her lack of investment allows her a neutral perspective. In that way another parallel with Namari that I’m drawing, except Namari lets feelings from her opinions seeps in more… Onesided beef my beloved. I’m going insane save me this post was a mistake. I think Falin takes the crumbs of friendship and love where she can without expecting or asking for anything more than what’s offered, and I think her relationship with Namari (or anyone really) would start out the way it did with Marcille: the other takes the initiative and they end up spending time together, Falin is friendly but unattached until the bond gets gradually and wordlessly strenghtened through regularly spending moments together. So! I think Namari would need to take a lot of the first steps, which since again she’s confrontational & argumentative and doesn’t hold herself back on that front that could spark a lot of conversations I think. Ooor since Falin cares about Namari less than Laios and Marcille she allows herself to be bolder herself lol. Or also circumstances force them to spend time together like dungeon party getting separated shenanigans.

I think their personalities match cutely, I think falin would try to protect namari like she does others but also Namari simply doesn’t need protection, just support. And I think they’re complementary in that way that Namari’s friendly but also won’t sugarcoat things, and I think if she takes an interest in Falin it could go from there and she could develop some understanding of her and idk like an intrigued crush….

Namari wants stability & security & to, like, not be judged and rejected and exiled lol, to find her nest her pack the place where she feels good and wanted in. I think having a fitting partner would help in that (similarly to how the found family with the Flokes seemed to. Oh another parallel, Falin’s top priority is protecting Laios her brother and what Namari are a family figure) and I think Falin would fulfill that cozy protection and that warm ‘being seen and not judged’ feeling. But also Namari would run up to her and yell about her trying to sacrifice herself ever.

Another fun thread to explore: post-canon guilt for not having gone to save her. Sure, they weren’t close, but they had some nice memories, didn’t they? Namari cares, and it stings despite herself when it feels like people think she doesn’t. Oh it wasn’t a lost cause after all, oh it’d have worked out, oh I could have stayed loyal and it wouldn’t have compromised myself in the end. Wanting to apologize to Falin, or just ahnging out with her and sharing a moment after she wakes up. And tangent but that’s interesting to think about… Narratively, I think the purpose of Namari and Toshiro in the story, beyond strenghtening the theme of "seek to understand what is different from you and promote unity despite them" and fleshing the cast and worldbuilding, is Toshiro’s purpose was being a foil & tool in Laios’ arc (trouble connecting with people) while Namari’s was being and a foil & tool in Marcille’s arc (standing up for ideals without being out of touch with harsh realities and needs). They are the conflict that push our protagonists to grow— and they explore different ways of dealing with a situation or topic, different ways of growing into themselves on that end: Laios needing to listen to others more and Toshiro needing to focus on voicing himself more to be able to connect, Marcille needing to learn ideals sometimes cost too much and Namari needing to internalize that ideals are sometimes worth risks (not only to be able to find a reasonable but fulfilling life balance, but also to get in touch with their compassion: Namari restricts her own too much and Marcille is too harsh on people she deems to be breaking values, like Namari not risking her life and career for a friend with no promise of success, or even like how Namari is harsh on Falin’s way of doing things : too gentle, too soft, too idealistic) (similarly to Chilchuck’s arc with Marcille too, and he also plays a hand in advancing that arc in the Namari chapters). We are getting far from namalin sorry ummm preview for future analyses like Toshiro’s contrasting approach to grief and accepting loss.

More post-canon namalin! Thinking about a timeline where… Namari is fond of Falin finding herself and going off to do her thing. "Finally!" she thinks. If she’s still for hire, maybe Falin would want her to come along, either as guide or bodyguard <3, she knows Namari has a lot of good avice on a lot of things to give, plus they’ve worked together before. She hires Namari and they travel for a bit. Travel would do Namari good too I think, even if her end goal is to settle and I think Falin’s would be too eventually. Seeing sights that light her wonder for the world and going places where people don’t know her story, don’t recognize her face or her name. Them, feeling free. Finding a companionship that feels uplifting instead of stifling or charged. Namari having been too in her head about reputation and social games and money that they hit the roads and spend time in nature and it’s like, woah. I’ve been living in a small world with made up rules.

Ahh yes romance, Namari and Falin kissing after 3 years of not really knowing each other despite seeing each other every day then 2 months of wanting to spend more and more time together until they’re an inseparable duo! Workwives. I want them to stand next to each other during campire time and Namari cracks little jokes and Namari laughs. I want Namari to gift Falin a bug caught in amber and for it to be their wedding/promised to each other thing.

TLDR

Rowdy but levelheaded barbarian x gentle healer that will also cave your face in with a mace I like it…… They’re an interesting duo of mixed stuff. Protection being your purpose and what you’re worth for, literally being a meat shield (Laios, Tansu), finding your individuality recognized and validated through a growing bond with the other. Sticking around as a love language. Also bug immortalized in amber and it being beautiful.

Nevermind this wasn’t short. Um! Anyways.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Big Adventures Thoughts

So, my fics were pretty short tonight because I was stuck on a coach for six hours and couldn't write much but I do have some random Big Adventures thoughts that may or may not make it into fics at some point but I'm just going to share them all with you now 😊

I've mentioned it very briefly in an ask before but when Princesse was very young she spoke Swedish with a slight Danish accent and Magda hated it. It faded after she started living with Magda but it's always funny to Pernille whenever anyone brings it up

It's not been used a lot but moster Frido is a big part of Princesse's life. This is coming in a fic soon but after the doctors and Magda and Pernille, she's actually the next person to hold Princesse and she's the one that brings her girl-swan and girl-moose when she's a baby. Princesse adores her in the way all young girls idolise their older, female relatives and Frido's definitely the one she turns to when she's older and doesn't want to talk to her mums about certain things

Magda feels a bit inadequate sometimes (particularly early on) when she finds out just how easy Pernille and Princesse work together on things and it's a pretty steep learning curve for her but she adapts pretty quickly

Every shirt Princesse gets when she's younger, she wears to bed the night she gets it. Some shirts (like Leah's) she hoards for weeks before letting them get washed and framed if she thinks they're special enough

Princesse is deathly allergic to kiwi, banana and avocado but only slightly allergic to latex

Sometimes on the bus to away games, Princesse curls up on Jessie's lap and naps with her. Pernille has a whole photo album of pictures of Jessie and Princesse napping

The gloves that Zećira gives Princesse after the match against the USA, Princesse keeps. It becomes a bit of a superstition but before every match, she puts them on and then takes them off to put on her own gloves because she wants Zećira's good luck from that game to rub off on her

Princesse is absolutely a prodigy at keeping. Magda and Pernille debate sometimes whether there must be some kind of keeper dna in the donor they chose (because it certainly didn't come from Magda's) or whether or not it was the near hero worship Princesse has for Zećira that made her want to prove herself

Princesse's schooling ends up being a bit all over the place. She only starts school when they all move back to Germany and she only really goes in a few times a week because Magda and Pernille's schedules can be erratic sometimes and it's a bit easier to home-school her (and because of the slight separation anxiety Magda develops but will forever deny). When Magda and Pernille retire and they end up in Sweden, Princesse's time is taken up by academy training and then when she hits fifteen, professional training so she ends up taking online school

I think I've mentioned this as well but Princesse never lets in a penalty her entire career and it makes other players all the more nervous during penalty shootouts at major tournaments because she continually blocks them. It becomes kind of a thing that commentators at matches talk about in the 'is this the day someone finally scores a penalty against her' kind of way

Like Magda did, Princesse gives away her World Cup medals but this time to Magda and Pernille rather than a child of her own

Almost all of Princesse's World Cup jerseys get given away to players from her childhood (if and when she defeats their teams) while the others go to Magda and Pernille

For club football, Princesse has her first name on her back but for every international match, it's her last name

Princesse feels awkward getting praise sometimes from people that aren't her mothers which is something that carries into adulthood so, at award shows and such things, she always brings them with her because it makes her feel less awkward

Speaking of award shows, Princesse is presented with awards by both Mary Earps when she grows up along with Alexia and Aitana

[neuroprincess]

Bunny Ears and Chocolate - Ava Coleman/Female Reader

Ava Coleman/Female Reader

Summary: When another celebration arrives, you think it's going to be one more blank day, but an unexpected gift and a wonderful girlfriend prove otherwise.

Classification: Slight angst, Fluff

Warnings: Reference to a reader's unhappy childhood, Ava being a romantic baby

Note: I should have posted this at Easter, but you know me, I just found it in my archived writings

Word count: +2200

Unrevised

Growing up in a home that was considered unstructured and not at all affectionate deprived you of many moments that other children had throughout their lives: the tooth fairy didn't even bother to leave 5 cents for each tooth that fell out, Christmas didn't have the same sparkle as the TV commercials and Thanksgiving was always summed up in canned food, maybe a fight between your parents in the kitchen at the end of the night. It was no different with Easter, every now and then you'd get a cheap bar of chocolate at school or from some kind neighbor, you didn't even take part in a neighbourhood egg hunt. The whole process was a gray area between so many celebrations, weekends and holidays spent watching movie marathons with lots of popcorn and a pinch of loneliness by choice. 

It was like that for years, until you met Ava, who never cared about any of this before and you thought it might be a good match when you started dating. However, she had this, her parents were affectionate and gave the best moments that continue to be remembered fondly when each of these dates arrives. You like to hear her describe every toy she got from some distant relative and later exchanged for something more interesting with classmates, the weird casseroles grandma invented for dinner or when she bought the first make-up with the money the fairy, aka her mom, left under the pillow. Between laughs and jokes, she always looks forward to hearing your stories and can't hide disappointment when the subject is suddenly changed, teasing you a little, but giving up so as not to make you uncomfortable. Deep down, you start to care and feel envious of all the lost moments, all the things you can't have, the invisible, dormant childish wounds festering. Wounds set aside, especially when it comes to her work as a teacher at Abbott.

"Miss Y/L/N, how do we know if the butterfly is male or female?" one of the students asks, leaning over the table to get a better look inside the transparent box.

"Don't be silly, Kayla!" another replies, rolling his eyes, and does the same "They're all female."

"Actually, not all of them are female, dear." you stand between them and point to the insect that's emerging from its cocoon, weeks before you found a caterpillar in Barb's flower beds and it collected itself in the cocoon, which coincidentally ended up hatching on the last day of school before holiday "That's a monarch butterfly, if there are dark spots on the hind wings it's a male and if not it's a female."

"But it hasn't opened the wings yet." Kayla observes sadly, for a child minutes can seem like a real eternity "It's taking too long..."

"That's just it, hatching can take from 10 minutes to 60 minutes, each one has their own time."

"Just like the rest of us," she adds with a hearty smile.

"You all see how incredible metamorphosis can be?!"

A little animated chatter starts up as your class waits anxiously to watch it fully emerge from cocoon, most of them debating which names to choose and how they would take care of it, forgetting the little agreement they had made, you decided to let them enjoy the moment before scrapping the hopeful children's plans.

"I don't see any spots!" Carson shouts excitedly "We've got a girl!"

After a while, they agree on a name and end up naming her Lizzy - cute, short and pretty. In third period, your kids gather to release her into the playground, and you take advantage of the moment to explain the relationship between butterflies and Easter and all the meaning behind the beautiful transformation. 

"Miss Y/L/N..." Kayla calls out to you shyly as everyone gets ready for break, most of them already running, the girl puts her hands behind back and blushes approaching the table "I saved this one for you."

She holds up an Easter egg wrapped in fluffy colored paper, a bow adorning it and making the package more attractive. The girl stares at you with her eyes shining in anticipation as you fight back imminent tears, not something you expected to happen when you woke up in the morning. It's your first chocolate Easter egg in all your years of life, a small, innocent gesture from a schoolchild that makes the entire wall built up around commemorative dates and traditions crumble in seconds.

"Thank you so much, dear..." you accept the treat with a little uncertainty, hands trembling as you hold the candy "I..."

"I knew you'd like it, it's very good, I promise." she says cheerfully and leaves the classroom, as if she hadn't just made a grand gesture.

As soon as the girl leaves, the principal comes through the doorway with her usual cheeky grin and full of curiosity about your reaction, asking herself what she could have done to you, none of which comes close to the real thing. Her presence is barely noticed, not even when she closes the door after the room has emptied, your eyes fixed on the adorable wrapping, the colorful patterns and the generic but cute note wishing Happy Easter.

"Kitten..." she calls for the third time, worried "Is everything all right?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was over the moon." you try to pull yourself together, compressing lips and bringing fingers to the corners of eyes, wiping your face "Hungry?"

"Just of you." Ava whispers seductively and takes two steps forward, standing inches away to steal a quick kiss "Now tell me what happened or I'll tickle the hell out of you." it's the kind of affectionate threat that doesn't make you laugh this time, it's a difficult topic to talk about, but maybe that's the time.

"Well, there's a reason I never tell holiday stories or have great comments for yours, I..." tears are there again, stronger and warmer, you take the candy to heart in search of comfort, the woman keeps quiet listening attentively "I never had any of that, my parents never gave a damn and I wasn't a demanding child."

"That?"

"Coins from the tooth fairy, nice dinners, Christmas trees, gifts and..." the Easter egg is raised with a certain pride, finally giving in to crying, tears of sadness and happiness mixing together "This! It's my first!" you finally admits, feeling a little childish at the thrill and excitement of something so small for an adult.

"Your first?" she is genuinely confused, staring at the simple candy, which for her has no great significance, then the realization of the fact hits her hard "Really?"

"Yes, one of my students just gave it to me." you whisper, feeling the tears wanting to come back again and a tight feeling in chest "I know, it's silly..."

"No, it's not, it's never silly, especially if it's something important to you." the woman responds quickly, wrapping arms around your trembling body and puts your head against her soft breasts, it's an intimate and comforting act "And if I'd known before, I'd have been the first person to give you a chocolate. And decorated the house last Christmas. Or better, I would have taken you to New York. I guess I just wouldn't have had a solution for the tooth fairy... but there are ideas on how to make up for it."

"God, you're the best girlfriend ever."

"Of course I am." Ava kisses your forehead and takes advantage of the position to slip her fingers under your shirt, lightly tickling the sensitive spots "So much so that I ordered tarts from that new store you mentioned last week."

She holds up the cardboard bag with the pretty logo and half a dozen tarts in various flavors. A delicious dessert for a pleasant shared lunch, which has become routine, a moment of peace to enjoy each other's presence in the busy and chaotic routine that is working in childhood education.

With a bag full of art supplies and a pile of exam papers in hand, you enter the apartment, struggling not to knock everything off the improvised jenga. Usually you would have the help of the tallest one, those long arms look so sexy carrying boxes full of children's books and covered in glitter, but after all that sugar and dough, she had to go home early with an stomach bug. Of course, in her pile there are one or two medicines and tea for her.

"Darling?" home is strangely dark, silent and there's no sign of your partner's vibrant personality "Ava? Are you feeling better?" you ask, starting to get worried, hurrying to turn on the light switches.

When the light turns on, you find yourself with one foot on what looks like a rabbit's footprint glued to the wood floor. Then another next to it, followed by another and another, the bags are abandoned at the entrance and the door closed. Step by step you reach the coat closet, where a chocolate bar is placed next to a card with the words "Our love is sweet as the place we started the day together... or as your coffee." handwritten in impeccable calligraphy. It makes you smile lovingly, she always jokes about the amount of cream you put in the liquid as you get ready for the morning, only to steal some of it with kisses. The fun mugs, perhaps one of the first things you bought when decided to move in together, hold truffles and the next tip. Seven cards later, almost every room explored and your arm full of candies, you finally reach the last place with the tip "No matter where we are, as long as we're together, we've found our home." and it's obvious that it's the master bedroom, where you love each other, talk about your days and plan the future, where you can strip away the burdens of everyday life and forget about the world.

"Do you like it, kitten?" the woman asks, coming up behind as soon as you open the door.

In the middle of the bed, there's a huge Easter basket of chocolates, from simple chocolate bars to decorated boxes of handmade truffles, with colorful wrapping and a giant bow, next to a big stuffed bunny, one of those fluffy ones that are too cute to resist hugging. A Happy Easter banner has been placed above the headboard and when turn around you let out a laugh when notice that the principal is wearing a fuzzy bunny ears, one up and the other down, a cute made-up nose.

"Welcome back, little baby!" she wraps her arms around waist and lifts you into the air, capturing your lips as she spins around.

"You... You did all this for me? Aw, that's so sweet and thoughtful."

"And all yours, I wanted to make your first official Easter something special." Ava puts you down and picks up a second bunny ear from the shelf, carefully placing it on your head "My cutie..."

"I'm literally speechless, all I can think about is how amazing you are."

"I know!" she jokes and leans in to give you another kiss "Sweetheart, you're a wonderful person and I'm sorry you didn't have any of these moments, but know that I'm going to make each of these dates unforgettable and unique, something of ours."

You stare at her in shock and feel your eyes sting, tears gathering at the edges of eyes, it's hard to control. This was the first surprise you've ever received in your life and certainly the best of all, every detail was thought of, planned and made especially for you, as well as the romantic touch she gave to every little and big gift.

"You don't have to do that..." you whisper, voice breaking with emotion, "I... You already do so much for me."

"I haven't even done half of what I want to do for you." your girlfriend smiles tenderly, her hand sliding gently across your cheek "You deserve the world and I'm going to do my best to give it to you."

"I don't even know how to thank you for everything." a feeling of being silly comes over you again, but it's quickly gone when you see the passionate smile on her plump lips "It's more than I could have dreamed of."

"You don't have to be thankful, baby, just enjoy it." she replies, lifting you onto her lap and standing face to face "Or enjoy it while you thank me."

Ava is funny and suggestive, walking slowly over to the bed, sitting there with you on her lap, surrounded by the candies and the cheerful decoration. She brings a hand up to yours, intertwining her fingers with yours. The comfortable silence is broken only by the soft sound of breathing and happy giggles.

"Shall we eat some chocolate and then watch a movie?" the woman asks, squeezing you a little tighter against her "We have the whole weekend to ourselves."

All you can do is nod, leaning in again to give her a kiss, this time slow and passionate, full of tenderness. She moans feeling your fingers tangle in the black strands, pulling her towards you and deepening the contact.

"I love you, baby." you whisper against her lips, knocking into the soft mattress.

"No more than I love you, kitten. You have no idea."

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[f1-birb]

in reference to this, the lovely anon came back to give full thoughts from a union rep perspective so I have taken the text from two asks and put them under the cut - incredibly interesting read and sheds light on a lot of assumptions I'd formed but from a more knowledgeable perspective:

As I said in my initial message, I have a lot of thoughts on the entire radio interaction throughout the last 20 laps of that race yesterday, so to keep things from getting too chaotic, I'm going to try to discuss things in sections.

-THE MESSAGES-

I actually think this is a two-fold problem.

So, for starters, we get the message

"Lando, he can't catch you. You've proved your point" towards the end of this whole ordeal. Every interaction prior to this point involves some variation of "We're stressed about the tyres, Lando. You need to save tyres, Lando." (Coincidentally, every message about saving tyres is followed up with some variation of "Remember to let Oscar through." I'll come back to this in the section about Will). Except, we can see from the photos of the two McLaren cars in parc ferme that Lando's tyres were fine. The fact that he was able to push and continue building a gap shows that his tyres were fine and weren't dropping off.

This, right here, prime example of gaslighting. A driver can feel when he starts struggling with the tyres, we've heard Lando himself complain about the tyres going off on the radio before.

He wasn't struggling at all here, the team was trying to convince him he was to slow him down. This, already, to me is extremely unethical and sets a dangerous precedent. If the team is willing to gaslight and lie to him about something occurring on the track, directly related to his race, when he's driving at high speeds and has no access to data, how is he supposed to know when he can trust them? Not only is this example gaslighting, it's extremely manipulative. They re trying to make him believe something that isn't at all true so that he does something completely unnatural to his nature as a racing driver (intentionally driving slower for like the last 15 laps) that benefits them.

Now, probably the most controversial part of the interaction occurs when Lando says he's fighting for this championship (presumably the Driver's Championship), and Will responds with

"The way to win a championship is not by yourself. It's with the team. You're going to need Oscar. You're going to need the team." Now, l'm going to be completely honest with you, if this interaction had occurred in some kind of interview between Will and Lando or in a free practice session or hell even in a qualifying session debating who would get a tow or prime track position, l'd probably be like "Yeah, fair enough, that's 100% true, needing a supportive team behind you to be successful is true of a lot of industries, including mine." But you have to remember the context here: They're trying to manipulate him into doing something he's expressed discomfort in doing, using tactics like gaslighting, blatantly lying, appealing to his emotions, and now threatening him.

This isn't the "You're part of a team" message some people are trying to play it off as to make it sound lighter than it is and like others are

overreacting. There is no "Remember, you're part of a team that can help you get that championship." The words of

"You're going to need the team" are very deliberate and intentional. They're basically telling him, if he wants the support and aid of the team, he has to do what he's being told regardless of if he agrees with it or feels comfortable with it. Again, they're trying to use tactics like intimidation and fear of future retaliation to get him to do something he's uncomfortable with.

-ANDREA STELLA-

Courtesy of Ted Kravitz, we now know Andrea Stella was the one telling Will Joseph the exact messages to relay to Lando. So, let's just break this down.

This is the team principal himself - the man whose job responsibility is quite literally to manage the team and driver dynamics.

His team has fucked up. He knows they've fucked up. Hell, even Lando knows they've fucked up and asks at one point why they didn't just pit Oscar first. Instead of owning the team's fuck up, he tries to make Lando the scapegoat. Even after the race, in the media, he's still trying to make it look like McLaren deserve no criticism, Lando does for trying to steal a win from his teammate (that his error-prone strategy team dangled in front of Lando). So, he's still resorting to abusive tactics like emotional manipulation to his driver who in the end did exactly what he asked despite being uncomfortable doing it. This is also just extremely narcissistic - refusing to acknowledge his and his team's role in this mess and instead placing it all on Lando.

And then the radio messages that he was feeding to Will Joseph to in turn feed to Lando. The "obey or we'll never support you" message would have been bad enough coming from Will, but there's a whole other element at power when you know it was the team principal, someone who strategists and engineers answer to, threatening this.

This is someone who very well could ruin Lando's entire career and stock in the paddock with the staff and resources at his disposal, and he's essentially threatening, on a public radio broadcasted to millions, to do just that if Lando doesn't obey him.

This wasn't a "frantic race engineer trying to reel his driver in" situation like we originally thought, this is a team principal - again, responsible for managing the TEAM and DRIVERS - basically threatening to have the team leave one of the drivers out to dry and focus all of their efforts and attention on the other if this one driver does not conform to his will.

And I know a lot of people are upset that Lando is not speaking out against the team, so let me pose this question:

If Andrea Stella is perfectly comfortable acting this vile - gaslighting, blackmailing, threatening - on a public radio broadcasted to millions, and the threat of "obey me or this team will not support you" is already hanging in the air, do you really think Lando could criticize the team publicly and get out unscathed? Given these radio messages, does Lando even think he could fairly criticize the team, publicly or privately, without jeopardizing his own career? We think because he's a multimillionaire (and he is privileged, I'm not denying that) with millions of followers that he has all this influence, but the one with the real power - the one who tells Zak Brown who he wants in those seats - has basically just publicly sent him the message that if he wants to stay in his seat and actually achieve his biggest goal, he'll shut up and listen regardless of his own thoughts or opinions.

-WILL JOSEPH-

Let me preface this by saying I don't think Will is completely blameless in this situation. That being said, he was manipulated by Andrea Stella and his tactics just as much as Lando was, and as l'll go into in a moment, I think there are definitely signs that he wasn't 100% comfortable with what he was doing and was still trying to look out for Lando while placating their boss.

But first ... the power dynamics, again.

Much like he has the power to destroy Lando's career if he wanted to, Stella also has the power to destroy, frankly much more quickly and easily, Will's career if he really wanted to. And we already know from his radio messages to Lando that Andrea Stella is not against threatening to do just that if his employees do not obey his orders. So, despite still being angry at Will, I do recognize he was in a lose-lose situation.

I really do think if you read between the lines of those radio messages that you can see that Will did try, in his own way, to look out for Lando, but that also makes some of the things he said a bit more eerie of some of this toxic behavior existing behind closed doors as well.

For example, one thing I noticed with the "Save tyres" messages was that every single time, there was some sort of plea to swap positions. And again, this is mostly speculation, but I think that was Will's way of saying like "Your tyres are fine, they are just demanding you slow down for this switch." Evidence of this: "We need you to save your tyres please and we do want to let Oscar through." "Ok, Lando, we still think you're using the tyres too much Turn 4 Turn 11, and the rears at exit Turn 6 Turn 9. Oscar's 3.5, I know you'll do the right thing." "We think both cars are using their tyres too much. Just remember every single Sunday morning meeting we have."

I also, and again this is mostly speculation on my part, but I do believe Will was trying to avoid saying some of the harsher things like the threat that Andrea was telling him. At the time, I thought the urgent messages in which Will insists he's trying to protect Lando were about protecting him from a potential undercut and thus needing to pit him first, but as quite literally every analysis has pointed out, Lando wasn't even under threat of that for the final pit stops. They could have pitted Oscar the lap they pitted Lando, pitted Lando the very next lap, and everyone would have maintained their original positions. I also just, idk, felt the urgency in that "I'm trying to protect you mate, I promise I'm trying to protect you." message just wouldn't have matched up if all they were discussing was the pit sequence. Like, Will sounded full-on frantic at this point, and then mind you, the very next plea Andrea has him give is the threat about Lando not having the team's support going forward if he doesn't swap positions.

So, despite still being mad as hell, I understand power dynamics were shifted in both Will and Lando's cases.

Stella was on a power trip and would have happily (and did, as we see Lando still taking the brunt of the blame for Stella's team's failures) thrown both Will and Lando to the wolves if he didn't get his way. And that intimidation factor easily allows him to manipulate both Will and Lando.

This is more like the arguments/ evidence I would use if this incident were to get reported to HR, and, as a Union Rep, I was chosen to go advocate for Lando and Will against management. That being said, much of what we focus on when we are advocating for employees are the power dynamics at hand, and that's something about this situation I don't see people recognizing enough. Andrea Stella is in a position of power over both the other men involved in this situation, and according to Ted Kravitz, he was the one pulling the strings with the gaslighting and blackmailing and manipulating. Had Will refused to convey Andrea's messages, he could have been demoted or maybe even terminated altogether. As we heard in the messages themselves, had Lando refused to bend to Andrea's will, there's a chance the team really does hang him out to dry and prioritizes Oscar at all costs.

It's difficult to provide a full Union Rep analysis too because so much of our work relies on reading actual employee contracts, and obviously those aren't just freely available online for F1 drivers. That said, I can already tell you they very clearly and deliberately broke one of their own team values with this behavior: "We act with integrity and work together to address challenges with respect, openness, and honesty." So, I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't mandates against this behavior in Andrea's own contract, and l'd be very surprised if McLaren didn't have just a general employee Code of Conduct that basically this entire incident broke.

and on the term 'workplace harassment':

I noticed the term "workplace harassment" used in the reblogs of one of your posts too, and while I didn't really use the term "workplace harassment" in my previous message, I would also throw in that I know Stella's (and by proxy, Will's) behaviors towards Lando yesterday 100% be considered workplace harassment. Intentionally withholding or spreading misinformation that impacts

someone's ability to properly do their job is workplace harassment (and granted, there's a lot of examples of that from McLaren and F1 as a whole, but the key word here is intentionally. that's normally genuine strategy blunders and not a team legitimately telling their driver lies to try to slow them down). Completely overbearing supervision can also be a sign of workplace harassment, and I'd argue by Stella literally trying to make Will his mouthpiece, he was definitely doing that. Making threats concerning job opportunities or job security (in the workplace, not in like a performance review) is ALWAYS considered workplace harassment, and well. We have direct evidence of Stella and Will both engaging in that.

[rocksibblingsau]

I don't know if you already have something laid out for that dynamic, but I feel that country Branch and Clay would either bond really easily (after the whole "you were in the tree that whole time?!" thing gets resolved" or bicker at almost every opportunity

Branch already reads a lot and with the country trolls affinity for sadness and hard times, Clay has the one the quickness path to Branch's heart out of all the brothers. Also with Clay's leadership role and serious vibes, he would probably habe a lot of respect and many different topics to talk with Branch about.

But on the other hand, their similarities could easily make them hate each other. Clay seeing Branch's leadership role as a reflection of Jd and not of himself is one of them, but also jealousy over how respected he and his boundaries are. And this Branch would shut down the babying way easier than canon, he probably had to prove himself to many country trolls and would not let himself be disrespected without a serious fight

I actually do see Clay and somewhat Bruce seeing Branch as a mini-JD initially when they visit his home. They don't get to see his dynamic during the rescue, but once they get back to Lonesome Flats they see how Branch takes charge and orders people around and all they can see is John Dory.

Clay can't recognize that Branch is a leader like him rather than John because Branch doesn't have his own Viva. I imagine Clay and Viva tag team issues in an almost 'stern parent/fun parent' dynamic. Viva softens any blows by trying to point out the bright side or explain why Mr. Clay's idea is gonna be fun/great.

Country Trolls don't need that dynamic. If Branch says have those silos filled by the end of the day, they don't stop and ask why. They can, and Branch would be happy to answer, but they know already that Branch has good reasons.

I imagine in that scenario Bruce might try to gentle parent. "Don't you think that's a strict deadline? As long as they get filled, what does it matter if it's today or tomorrow?" Clay is also chastising Branch on overworking people and being too demanding.

Branch would look at them and raise an eyebrow, then call someone over.

"Ambrosia, could you tell me what you told me this mornin'?" "Sure thing. I said make sure all the grain is up by tomorrow unless you're fine with it bein' washed away. There's a storm headin' in and anything not in the silos is as good as gone."

If Branch says to do something, he has a reason. He's happy to explain his reasoning to you, but in the Country tribe, there's no point wasting time chit-chatting. They trust Branch, so they don't see any point wasting precious breath debating it.

It may look like Branch is giving orders, but he's not really in charge of anything formally like Delta Dawn is. They're suggestions, really. Advice from an expert plugged into nature and the community. They might sound like orders, especially given that everyone goes ahead and does what he says, but no one really has to listen to him. They respect Branch Dawn, and not just because he's Delta's kin.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Could we get a fic where the reader is a simp for buggy? Like he overhears them

omg YES! sorry for the wait, I'm not quite satisfied with how it turned out but I still hope you'll enjoy. 💕

Synopsis: Is it just your imagination, or is your captain flirting with you?

Warnings: Tiny bit of insecure Buggy, but otherwise none.

Tags: GN! Reader, a bit of Misunderstanding, not proofread, Reader is downbad for the clown just like me tbh

"And for my next trick, I need a volunteer from the audience!"

The whole circus tent fell dead silent, all hostaged villagers facing the ground in hope not to be chosen. You sat among them, arms crossed in front of your chest and laid back on the chair as Buggy scanned the room.

Actually you had been ordered to keep an eye on your victims, but instead your gaze was permalocked on your captain - especially now that he had tossed away his coat.

Damn.

You bit your lip at the sight of Buggy's skin shimmering softly under the spotlight, highlighting how his muscles flexed as he confidently strode from row to row.

Oh, the things you'd to for him to take off some more clothes...

The clown came to a halt, clearly announcing something yet you were too caught up in some very impure fantasies to notice.

"What's wrong, Y/N? Stagefright?"

The prisoners insincere laugh started at your crewmate's sign, and you automatically went along with it, even though your mind was still currently stuck with adoring this trademark smile of his that made your knees weak even while sitting...

...wait- what the hell did he just say?!

"Y/N?" A severed hand floated in front of your face, waving frantically as it startled you out of your daydream. The man it belonged to followed shortly after, sounding almost worried. "You're alright over here?"

"I- uh, me?" you pointed to yourself with a puzzled expression, all flabbergasted at the situation you suddenly found yourself in. "Why me?"

"You'll see." Buggy winked and you already felt like fainting, dear god how were you supposed to assist him with anything when you couldn't even string together a whole sentence in his presence?

And yet the clown was stubbornly persistent in his demand.

When waving you over wouldn't suffice, he simply grabbed your wrist and practically dragged you from your seat and into the spotlight, his bright grin never faltering.

What shenanigan did he had in mind this time? And why would he want you of all people to help him out?

"A great applause for Y/N - tonight's top act!" You rose an eyebrow, knowing Buggy hated to share the spotlight, let alone give it to someone else...

...yet before you could end your pondering, Buggy took your hand as be bowed down to your height, kissing your knuckles as he looked up to you with an intense stare.

ShitshitshitshitshitSHIT!

Your mind went completely blank, stomach filling to the brim with metaphorical butterflies that made you wanna puke.

The act didn't even start and you already wanted the earth to swallow you before he'd become aware of the effect you had on him.

Buggy's eyes never left yours even when he spinned on his heels and strolling towards a giant wheel. "Our dear Y/N is a very skilled fighter, I'll have you know" he explained and you wondered what it was he wanted to imply...

...until he commanded two of the other performers to strap him to the wheel. "What kind of pirate would I be if I don't prove my fearlessness?"

Does he want you to do what you think he wants you to do? Is he for real?! Fuck, is he crazy? Of course he kinda is, you know him long enough to be sure of that - but does he have a deathwish or something?!

You were mentally debating whether to listen to your fight or flight instinct, however you decided to just walk up and confront him at least about the current matter.

"C-Captain, I can't-"

"Shh." A sole finger of his covered your lips to keep you from refusing. "This is gonna be great. I trust you with my life, sweetheart"

Your eyes widened for a split second as the nickname dropped from his mouth, but before you could make sense of it Buggy pointed somewhere to shoo you away. "The knives are on the barrel next to the entrance...

...Oh, and Y/N? Believe in yourself."

Gosh, hopefully people think you're sweating so much because of the headlights.

Maybe it is a test, you contemplated as you examined the blade in your hand, trying to get a good grip before starting the action. Not exactly a throwing knife, but it'll suffice.

Yeah, you haven't really been useful up until now, at least when it came to the circus.

Of course you worked as hard as everyone else and no one rushed you to find a talent you could show off in here, but sometimes it felt as if you were just not as special as the rest of the crew.

"They'll never understand your worth, Y/N - but I do."

Buggy's words echoed in your head, lifting up your spirits as you remembered the day your paths crossed. Like many of his crew you were an outcast, lonely and misunderstood - until he came along and reduced the town that abused you all those years into rubble and ashes.

Yes, he indeed saved you from a meaningless life. Gave you a home, a family, a purpose. And you'd do everything he'd ask of you to at least repay a fraction of this tremendous debt.

Buggy the Clown was your hero, your idol...

...and the man you had fallen head over heels for from the very start.

You took a deep breath, earning a proud nod of your superior as your stance became serious.

The first knive hit the right side of his forearm. Five more to go.

"C'mon, don't be so soft on me, love. I know you can go closer without doing any harm." Ugh. Your crush sometimes really made you forget how insufferable he can be.

Another, this time right between his legs. "Now that's more like it" he cackled, nervously adding "Be careful with that part, though. Still need it, if you know what I mean."

Would he shut up already instead of making you even more jittery?! Focus, Y/N, focus!

The remaining knives plunged into the wooden wheel easily. One by his foot, one next to his head, one right between his spead fingers.

Buggy wordlessly gesticulated as far as his restrained self could, and you immediately understood - you didn't like the suggestion, however.

Loud gasps mixed with horrified screams as your last blade had pierced his abdomen right in the middle...

...just for him to put himself together as if nothing happened, rushing to your side again through all the turmoil.

You nudged his side, unusually straightforwards for your standards. "I could've hurt you, killed even, idiot!" you scolded him quiet enough that only his ears would perceive.

"Childsplay" he whispered back, and only now you realized just how close his face was to yours. "I just needed to split myself in two before your knive would."

"How could you be so sure about it?"

"I'm an expert at human nature" he bragged cheekily, "And a great duo like us should know each other inside out, right?"

What? A duo, you and him?

Just a few minutes before you were certain that the captain was indifferent to your existence, asides from your function in his crew...

...if only you knew that your feelings for him were the complete opposite of onesided - Buggy was just way more discrete.

Out of a whim, Buggy kissed your cheek before twirling you around., presenting you to the audience one last time. "Another applause for Y/N, our new shining star!" he cheered along with your crewmates, squeezing your hand and bowing down together...

...only for you to flee the scene as soon as your captain released you.

The show went on for another few minutes, with Buggy unable to concentrate ever since you ran away before he could even react.

Of course your crewmates knew very well what was going on. Your not-so-secret crush was basically known amongst the whole team except for the man in question. But they had promised you to keep it to themselves - and honestly, they knew better than to involve themselves into their emotionally instable captain's private life.

After all deeds of the evening were done, the clown rushed backstage, ignoring the celebrating crew inviting him for drinks.

As if he could even think to enjoy himself before making sure you were alright!

"Did I do something wrong?" he still wondered, since all of his efforts were with only the utmost best intent. Maybe he went a little overboard, though.

"Calm down already, would you?" Buggy stopped in his tracks when he heared Cabaji's voice - out of your dressing room.

After he finally got so close to you tonight, this felt like a punch to the gut.

"How can I ever be calm again?!" you blurted out in response, and your captain couldn't help but eavesdrop what this is about.

"He kissed me" you continued, "I-I mean on the cheek, but that counts, right?" Dramatically throwing your hands into the air, you began frantically rubbing your still hot face. "I can never look at him again, ahh!"

Oh.

Guilt started creeping into his heart, alongside an ache that was all too familiar.

How could he have been so blind?

Of course you were just as repulsed and afraid of him as anyone else would. What was he thinking, kissing you just like that? It was the heat of the moment paired with months of unrequited longing, but nonetheless unexcusable.

He needs to apologize and make up for this, no matter how...

...but then, he heared Cabaji's answer.

"Wasn't this exactly what you wanted, though?" Your friend leaned against a wardrobe, half-irritatedly adding "Seriously, I can't listen to you vent about this little crush any longer. Just confess and get it over with, damnit!"

"Little? That's the understatement of the year!" you blurted out, grabbing the green man by the shoulders and shaking him softly. "I swear, this is getting out of hand. If the captain would ask me to suck him off while he's sitting on his throne, I'd gladly accept."

"Ugh, way too much detail" Cabaji shuddered, making you cackle with a bit of glee. "I'll never get this image out of my head."

"Can you blame me?" Without even being aware, your frown turned into a smile as soon as you began talking about Buggy. "The captain is so handsome. He's strong, talented, funny, and incredibly charming as well!"

"...if you're gonna start your usual dialogue, I'd rather leave" he retorted, already picking up and swinging onto his unicycle. "Want to join us, get a drink or something to cheer you up?"

"No, I'm fine dwelling in my self-made misery, thank you." Cabaji smirked at those words, patting your back as means of comfort befor exiting. "Dramaqueen. See you later!"

"Bye." You forced yourself to crack a smile for the man, nodding at him mutely as if to say "I'm gonna be okay."

However, it didn't take long after he left until another knock at your door made you jump.

"Forgot something?" you assumed it was Cabaji again, because who else could you expect while everyone else was partying right now?

No answer.

Sighing, you cocked your head to the direction oft the entrance, ready to cuss someone out...

...and ultimatively almost falling when you saw who was really lurking in the doorframe.

"C-Captain!" you almost yelled in shock, covering your mouth instantly afterwards, out of embarassment.

A smile tugged on the edge of Buggy's lips, his tone unusual gentle as he sheepishly let himself in. "The one and only."

"What-" you stumbled across every syllable, very awkwardly trying to act cool yet panicking on the inside. "Umm, what are you doing here? Drank too much and got lost again? Hahaha...oh god."

Your anxiety skyrocketed with every second passing that he failed to answer - instead chuckling softly at your cringeworthy joke.

"Nope" the clown finally answered, casually dropping down on the bench right next to you. "I'm exactly where I want to be."

"Wh-" Hesitating if you truly wanted to hear the answer, you took a deep breath to get at least a fraction of the composure he'd always, unknowingly, easily stole from you back. "Did you hear us talk?"

"Huh? No, why?" Buggy acted clueless to spare you the embarassment - but oh, if only you knew what thrill was boiling inside of him because of your earlier words. "Badmouthing your captain maybe?"

He winked and you felt yourself tremble in both excitement and relief. "Haha, never! We respect you way too much for that."

Yeah, you still have a chance to not fuck this up entirely!

"What else did you come here for, then?"

The pirate would look anywhere but your eyes, grabbing a random item from the shelf to fidget with, in order to calm then nerves. "Just wanted to congratulate you on the marvellous performance."

"Oh, most of it wasn't my work, right?" Not daring to look at him, you nervously rubbed the back of your head. "I-I mean I could only shine because your light shines so brightly"

Ohmygodwhatthehelldidyoujustsay?! This is the worst...

...or is it?

Stroking his ego like this is dangerous if you intended to keep your pants on tonight, or so he thought.

"My dear, I guarantee you: Together our star shines even brighter as the sun." Buggy would take both of your hands into his much bigger ones, his watercolor eyes scanning your face for any reaction. "As matter of fact, I want you to always be at my side from now on."

In the show, right? RIGHT?!

A chill ran down your spine when you felt Buggy's warm breath on your ear, his lips only inches away from yours. "What are you thinking about, love?"

Hellshitfuckohmygodisthisreallyhappening?!

"...you did hear us."

Even though he found your little pout adorable, Buggy couldn't help the outburst of laughter, seemingly enjoying your annoyance to the effect he had on you...

...well, it certainly fits his character. Asshole.

"Maybe so." A mixture of mischief and genuine joy was written on his face, managing to turn your frown into an almost-smile. "Would it be that bad?"

"Depends on-"

The man wouldn't even leave time to finish your answer before he pulled you into his lap, now grinning from ear to ear.

"You know, maybe it's time for a more private aftershow-party..."

[momentomori24]

Keiji is a character that I'm pretty sure every one of us can recognize is an absolute weirdo (ok maybe some are too hard on copium for the "weirdo" part) and sketchy as hell, but thinking about everything he's done it really feels like he's so much shady and ruthless than we give him credit for. So here's me bulletpointing some the moments that I haven't seen too many talk about, a little theory throwing his status into question and addressing the massive elephant in the room that almost everyone refuses to acknowledge. If there's something else you feel I missed or wanted to evaluate on, do leave it in the comments.

[Also, disclaimer: I will be discussing Keiji and Sara in a romantic light near the end of this post, so if that makes you uncomfortable please proceed with caution or skip entirely. This should go without saying but for my own sake I will say it anyway-- No, I do not condone their relationship in real life. No, this is not meant to be "shippy" or endorsement of any kind. This will simply be pointing out their dynamic as another example to prove the whole point of this rant. But if someone else does ship them that's totally fine. Fiction doesn't equal reality and if you harass a real person over fictional characters you will not see the light of heaven. Be civil, please and thank you. My block button is rated E for Everyone and if anyone decides to ignore the warnings and be an asshole I won't hesitate to use it. Thanks for listening. Disclaimer over.]

*Being a murderer.

I feel like I should start with the most obvious and undeniable. I don't think this is debatable to anyone here. Mr. Policeman may have been an accident and kinda confirmed by Midori to have been set up, but he still shot and killed an unarmed man in a moment of panic and recklessness. Even putting that aside, there's no denying that he killed Megumi in cold blood to get out of his debt to her and covered it up to the group to preserve his credibility. Regardless of what you think of Megumi, he has no excuse here. Not only is he one more kill away from being a serial killer, he's the only participant in our group that has actually killed people directly aside from Alice. Another reason why I bring this up is cuz something that completely flew over my head is this:

At the start of the game he had the audacity to complain about not having a partner or someone he knows with him like Sara does as if he didn't literally let Megumi get ripped apart by chains probably not even an hour ago Keiji what the hell--

*Throwing Kanna under the bus repeatedly.

Despite positioning himself as a protector and someone to rely on, he's far from above putting their youngest members in danger. Next to voting for the fourteen year old girl to die, he had the great idea of letting said fourteen year old be the one to babysit their biggest liability. Up to the point where they would stay in the same room both day and night. While I absolutely 100% trust that Sou would never EVER do anything to her, Keiji had no guarantee of that when he send her off. Hell, he literally just got done accusing Sou of setting Joe up to die (which I don't believe almost solely based on the fact that he said it, more on that another time maybe). He knew Sou was bad news, and openly acknowledges how adults can be terrifying, but he did it anyway. The dubiety of throwing the already traumatised little girl to keep watch on what they thought to be the most dangerous adult that had manipulated her once before is not lost on me, and that he didn't take any responsibility for her afterwards isn't lost on me either. To be fair, the Sou and Kanna thing doesn't just fall on him, it falls on everybody (Alice gets a pass because he actually swapped out with Kanna to watch Sou for her), but he was the one with the final say on the matter and who encouraged her to take the role despite Reko's rightful protests. The fact that he also voted for her to die in the Main Game, and is the only adult to do so, doesn’t help his case.

*Attempting to frame Sou knowing Reko was actually responsible.

While you could argue he was trying to cover for her since he knew why she did what she did, trying to pin this act on Sou to cast more doubt on his is extremely shitty. Never mind the blatant corruption and the irony of a supposed man of the law abusing his power to knowingly frame an innocent person (in this situation at least), and him sowing more seeds of confusion and resentment within an already rattled group, and giving Sou legitimate reason to be suspicious of him (and by extension Sara)-- this makes it so difficult to trust him after realising he's done this. Literally every time he accuses someone of being or doing something suspicious (mostly Sou), I always have to think in the back of my head if he’s telling the truth or just telling a blatant lie. He's shown that he's willing to not only lie to cover for himself, but to lie to delegitimize someone else. And Sara never caught onto it (Sou and maybe even Nao likely did tho). She never openly acknowledged it-- No one did. The complete lack of mention of what he did here makes this action quite missable. Hell, I didn't even catch it the first time. Has he done this before? Who else has he lied about? Who else would he lie about? Who else would he knowingly pit against the group? You don't have to wait for that answer, because I will provide an example later. And with "later", I mean now.

*Casting suspicion on Gin before the vote while hiding the fact that he killed Megumi.

While it's not as blatant as with Kanna, there are two instances where Keiji shows a readiness to either put or leave Gin in harm's way. The biggest one for me is in the Main Game. Like, how dare you. That is a furry child, sir. This kid’s like TWELVE. Even though he makes a valid point about calling out suspicious actions to clear them up so we can all trust each other, casting doubt on Gin of all people right there feels pretty screwed to me. This was before the preliminary vote. His words could’ve very well gotten Gin voted for if he couldn’t disclose why he did what he did for whatever reason and therefore being unable to clear himself from suspicion. It’s even more fucked when you realise that Keiji has literally murdered his partner and is currently planning to get Sou killed while giving this whole spiel about doubting others so that we can believe them and pointing the finger at a little kid to make an example to the group. But when Nao, Sou and Sara call him out on his suspicious actions that could rightfully damage his credibility, he tries to shut them down completely. My brother in Christ, you brought it on FIRST (don’t get me wrong I’m very much aware he didn’t really mean the whole “trusting each other” bit but come on dude)--

Speaking about not meaning what he says:

*Letting the group think he’s Ok to vote for knowing he’s the Keymaster.

This kinda got to me because I thought this was Keiji actually being… vulnerable? Accepting the consequences of his actions and allowing them to vote for him in their distrust without protest even tho it could cost him his life, maybe. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I can’t remember a lot of times-- or any times, really-- where Keiji has willing put himself into the line of fire, at this point at least. He always finds a way to keep himself safe, give himself insurance, and I thought that this would be the one time he doesn’t do that. But this feels so ominous looking back knowing that he was the Keymaster the whole time. That our distrust and betrayal and his resignation to it all didn’t matter because he was going to be safe no matter what. That he knowingly allowed us to assume that he was a safe vote because he didn’t want his plan to kill Sou to be ruined, which narrowed down choice of people we can safely vote for even further. That this action is ultimately the reason why Sou and Kanna were our only options to kill off in the end. If he had admitted it there, we could’ve found someone else to vote for so our final options could consist of three people, not two. But he didn’t, and the rest is history. There’s a lot of things he’s done I can’t get over. This one ranks pretty high. The second Main Game is already a huge sore spot for me for obvious reasons; knowing that a lot of the things that happened were due to his inaction where it truly mattered and activity in all the wrong places doesn’t make me fee any better. He didn't say he was a safe vote-- he didn't lie-- but his words carefully omit that voting for him means a total party death, something he should've stated then (and before this, really).

*Leaving Sara with the sacrifice card.

Despite making a big show about “always being by her side” and being her “reliable policeman”, he chose to look away when she was in real danger. He attached himself to her as her right hand man, made her shoulder the responsibility of being the leader, constantly manipulated and flattered her to win her trust and gain her favour-- but when she needed him the most, he basically left her for dead because it was the most beneficial to him. Keep in mind that not only did he know about her getting the sacrifice (he was also the sage so he'd have seen the trade happen), but he had the tokens to help her get rid of it. But those tokens weren’t for her life. They were for his. He used them instead to give himself the Keymaster as insurance for the Main Game (the Keymaster he stole from Sou/Kanna most likely to buy Sara’s trust btw). His desperation for survival outweighed his sense of obligation to keep her safe, and that’s the most subtle yet transparent he’s been about his selfishness. What makes this so much worse is that Keiji is our support character. He’s an ally, and our closest one at that, to the point where Sara burned her hands in a futile attempt to rescue him and signed her life away to save his. And yet his loyalty and protectiveness pale in comparison to other characters. Compare his actions to Sou’s: one of their many parallels and similarities is that both their girls get hit with the sacrifice card. As we’ve established, Keiji was fully aware of Sara being send the sacrifice by Sou, had 50 tokens ready to go and chose to secure his own survival than save her life. Kanna ended up doing it instead, attempting to trade the card off Sara with Sou realising what happened immediately. And what does Sou do? Completely bend over backwards trying to keep her alive. He lied about being the Sacrifice so the others wouldn’t suspect Kanna of having that role, meaning he could try gathering vote for her without anyone seeing his true intentions. He tried to stop her about coming out with the truth of what she had done so she doesn’t sentence herself to death. After everything he did to survive-- after how much he lied, how much he schemed, how much he hurt, and how he had thrown himself away to replace everything that made him Shin with the man that had traumatised him years before the game began to scrape together even the tiniest chance to survive-- he threw it all to the wind and was willing to let it all be in vain if it meant she got to make it out of the Main Game alive. The worst part is that Sou had never intended to make it through that Main Game. He confessed to already knowing that Kanna would choose Sara over him if she truly had the Sacrifice card. Yet he still did what he did all in the hopes that she could win. Because it was all about her survival first, not about them surviving together.

It also gives a different context to Sou's panic and him stumbling over his words trying to come up with any argument to get them to stop. At first I thought that Sou was afraid for his life. Which would make sense-- Keiji and Q-taro set him up to die and seemed pretty adamant on having everyone voting for him to get it all over with. But he was already prepared to die the minute he realised Kanna traded with Sara. So it means it wasn’t his life he was fearing for here-- it was hers. To him, if they voted for him there, it wouldn’t have just been his end but hers too. But we know that Kanna isn’t the one who has the sacrifice. It’s Nao, and considering how the Main Game can end either or both of them dead, I wonder if he regrets not having given up there, not letting Keiji get away with that shitty stunt he pulled knowing it would’ve at least guaranteed her safety than leave her fate in hands of a girl with enough reason to kill her. Ignoring the sounds of my heart shattering into pieces for the 100th time thinking about the Greenblings, it’s so fascinating that our biggest rival and most distrusted member has a greater sense of loyalty and responsibility for his ally than Keiji has for his own. Sou can be a liar and manipulative and selfish, but for how unpredictable he is something I can always trust is his love for those he holds dear (Kanna) and general desire to protect our most vulnerable (Gin). Sou loves Kanna, and so he’s fine with protecting her even if it comes at a price he never wanted to pay. Keiji surely cares about Sara, but unfortunately that is something I can’t say about him-- at least at that time (also the fact that Sou ended up taking more care and responsibility for Kanna despite Keiji having been the one to throw her on him in the first is so ironic).

*Continuously pushing Sara to take on the role of leader.

I think one of Keiji's biggest failures in the game come from his treatment of Sara despite positioning himself as her most reliable ally and her partner. From the very get-go, he was very adamant of making Sara be the one to shoulder the responsibility of the group. He, along with Joe (he didn't do anything wrong here), pushed Sara to be the Challenger during the Russian Roulette, despite Q-taro and Kai being readily available. He made Sara be the one to interrogate the suspicious convict while distancing himself from the situation. And he encourages her to lead them through the Main Game, lets her make the choices that steer them all forward and as a consequence take the fall for them as well. Rather than take on the role himself, or let another adult take it, he places his full trust in her and makes her shoulder everyone's weight so he doesn't have to. And he can see the effect it has on her: having horrific hallucinations due to the immense guilt she feels. But having Sara as their leader gives him a greater shot at survival and helps his credibility, so even though he tries to provide her comfort he still continues to keep her in that role. Again, the high schooler taking responsibility for the adults falls on a lot of the older people here, but Keiji was the one who kickstarted it rather than just go along with it like everyone else had. Gin, Nao, Kanna, Reko and even fucking Sou to an extent all have moments where they take the burden off her and relieve her of that pain she shoulders all the time (or at least try to). I need Keiji to take more responsibility for both the group and for her.

*Pitting Sara and Joe against each other.

This is just another example of the previous point. This isn't as bad, and I could give him the benefit of the doubt that this might have not been intentional, but it's something I want to bring up regardless. I'll be the first to say that Keiji wasn't wrong here. Prying into everyone's votes is a very bad move, especially since no one knew that Mishima would actually die (it was introduced as a practice round, after all). I agree with him, Joe was being rash, but instead of leaving the conversation there, he decided to throw Sara into it to pick a side. Which is... not good. He already won the argument and already had Reko on his side. Bringing in Sara could not only make Joe feel worse and potentially strain their relationship (especially if she rightfully chooses Keiji's side like he was expecting and hoping for), but just puts Sara in the spotlight during something she doesn't want to be part of. While there's a chance he might've done this because he know Joe is more likely to listen to her than him, he should've known better than that. It again makes her take the responsibility of giving the final verdict that would've otherwise gone to him.

*Asking Sara to take responsibility for his life

I've got nothing other that the grown adult swearing his life to the grieving, unstable teenager to take responsibility for while asking her if she'd die along with him is weird as heck. Keiji's said weirder things prior to this, but this one is a different weird. I think Beanieman's post mostly echoes my thoughts on this on, so I'll link it here for this point. This part kinda bothers me:

He shouldn't be encouraging her taking on anymore responsibility than she already is. He knows that the deaths that happened under her leadership haunt her. He knows that she's very much unstable enough already, to the point where he takes baby-steps to avoid triggering her trauma over Joe. He positioned himself as her reliable partner, her rock to lean on (quite literally sometimes). We see first hand how emotionally dependent she is on him. If he died, it would destroy her-- she'd destroy herself over it. He knows this (or should) but he still does it. His disappointment and dismissiveness when she understandably rejects him makes it worse. The guilt of potentially not living up to his expectations is not what she needs.

*Potentially working for Asunaro

This is more ambiguous than everything else here and more a theory than anything but it's been on my mind for a long time that Ranmaru might actually be onto something here. We know that Asunaro has a strong hold on the police. Midori was able to infiltrate the force, and they were able to get rid of Mr. Policeman for looking into the corruption going on, first having Megumi fire him and secondly getting Keiji to kill him by planting false info about the suspect having a gun. Megumi was also able to get Keiji off the hook for murder, which I believe Asunaro had a hand in too (I theorize this might've been her wish). There's also Alice, who was arrested and sent to prison despite the fact that he (legally) didn't kill anyone since Midori was a doll. The police are connected to Asunaro-- by extension Megumi and extending further potentially Keiji.

Something I've seen someone rightfully point out is that neither of the options you're given to say in response to the accusation... actually deny it? Both choices dance around answering directly, which is suspect as fuck. If Keiji truly wasn't with Asunaro, why not shut that theory down immediately? There's no benefit to answering anything but "no" when he's innocent, and he's lied straight to people's faces for less. So why not just debunk it? I think it's cuz there might be some truth to what Ranmaru was saying here. The biggest reason I think this is because despite the fact that Keiji quit the force, he and Megumi were still associating with each other years later. They were kidnapped together and partnered up for their first trial. One missable piece of dialogue is Keiji admitting that he was with his partner-- or rather a "coworker"-- before getting knocked out.

That slip of the tongue and backtracking makes me believe this part to be true. Him switching from "my partner" to "a coworker", which is a lot more distant and impersonal, makes me think it's got to be Megumi. However, I don't believe that Keiji would wanna keep in touch with her after what happened willingly, so I can only imagine that it's due to that debt he has to her. My little game theory here is that after the shooting, the debt he owed her was a forced recruitment into Asunaro. It's the only thing I can imagine he meant by "the worst kind of debt", a debt he'd literally let her die for to get out of. And if this is true, then it could also explain away his instant attachment to Sara, since he'd know beforehand that she's someone he can depend on due to her having the highest chance at survival. Maybe he already knew about her beforehand, one way or the other. We know Hayasaka did (which I think we as a fandom moved on from way too fast btw). Kai and Sou did too. There's always a chance. And unlike Sou's victory rate and Midori's favourite number, it's not zero. One person made a comic about this idea I recommend checking it out, it's tastefully unsettling. But still very much unsetling and uncomfortale. Be warned that it's also Keisara-centred, so if that makes you even more uncomfortable they did the job right you can ignore it. Proceed with caution or don't read if you don't like.

*Being a predator

I have been waiting so long for this one XD For context: a while ago I made a longpost discussing the sanitisation of soushin and this kind of toxic attitudes in fandoms regarding "problematic content" (ships, characters, shows, you name it). In it, I mentioned that it's not only soushin that receives this treatment but a certain other dynamic too. It's not a rainy day, however this has been way overdue and if I don't get this done now I never will.

Something I've seen a lot, and I mean a LOT-LOT is this notion that Keiji acts "like a father" to Sara and that their relationship is a completely platonic father-daughter bond and that he's the resident dad of the group? Like, it's cute, but that's not at all what their relationship is. At all. Not even a little bit. We called Sou and Kanna siblings before the Greenblings reveal. The difference is that not only does half the fandom think this man is gay, but he's only ever been protective and caring and loving without any romantic intentions towards Kanna ever. His title as her brother was deserved, based on the genuine affection and platonic protectiveness similar to that of Alice's. Keiji has made advances tho, on many occasions, and his flirting is repeatedly acknowledged by other characters. Namely Sou and Reko.

(Sou grills him for being a creep every chance he gets I love him XD) But yeah, these are not the type of reactions and comments you receive when being a "father-figure" to the teenager. You get all this when you hit on the teenager. Which he does all the time by calling her "cute" every time she asks something and his "cute little detective", swearing himself to her by saying that "he's always on her side" or something like that, asking her if she'd die alongside him, repeatedly claiming or insinuating that they're on a date, or ""having a moment"" and going to ""take the next step"" when in private (*cough* groomer *cough*)-- you name it, he likely said it. He's a walking-talking ladykiller machine and teenage girls aren't safe, apparently.

(Quick note: The dialogue for the Russian Roulette one is a tad different now. In the new translation he says "cause you're so darn cute" now. I dunno if that makes it sound any less weird, but I felt like putting that out there. What I'm also putting out there is that according to the trivia he calls her cute 8 times throughout the game so. Yeah. *Cough* groomer *COUGH COUGH*)

Like, who tf says this?? Especially that last part 💀 Even if you wanna die on the hill that these are supposed to be "jokes" not to be taken seriously, we should all be able to agree that the (ex)police officer in his late 20s jokingly hitting on the high schooler he follows around is still weirdo behaviour at best and down right despicable at worst. The fandom seeing lowkey predatory/inappropriate behaviour from a figure of authority persistent for almost three entire chapters and dismissing it as "fatherly" and "platonic" is, well, concerning. It's very concerning. If your dad acts like Keiji, you should probably call the police. Unfortunately for Sara, Keiji is the police. And considering this guy got away with manslaughter, I don't think said police would do anything anywho. But yeah-- he uses flattery and flirting to distract her from prodding to much at him while simultaneously aiming to gain favour in her eyes. He showers her with reassurance of his loyalty and affirmation of his deeper attachment towards her and her alone every chance he gets to cement his position as her closest and most trustworthy ally. He insinuates a romantic partnership between them to others to mostly keep her to himself or the two of them alone (he always does that when they're investigating or going to investigate by themselves). There's such an obvious romantic undertone to their relationship and his actions that it going almost completely ignored in the fandom feels weird to me.

I want to make clear that there's nothing wrong with headcanoning Keiji as a father figure to Sara. It's cute. Keiji didn't have a dad himself, and the closest thing to a father figure he had was the man he shot dead. He's a damaged and hardened guy. But Sara's dad is involved with Asunaro and Gin's is an alcoholic, and in a situation where they both need guidence and protection he tries his best to grow and change, fumbling to become that decent father none of them got to have. It's nice, and a wholesome dynamic for our "characters with memorandum counterparts and only non-determined deaths" trio. But that's obviously not what their dynamic is. There's a difference between headcanoning something and erasing canon and the Yttd fandom leans heavily into the latter. Keiji's a creep, he always has been, yet 90% of people I see always portray him as a Mr. Dad Guy or completely sanitise him to hell when him being creepy and unnerving to be around is what made him such a fascinating character. Just like I said with Soushin, the sanitisation to make canon more digestible is one thing: harassing or insulting the people that explore canon is another. I'm gonna take a bullet, derail this rant and say it-- Keisara shippers get so much shit for literally being right it's so infuriating. Keiji does hit on Sara, a lot. He's creepy and weird like that. Him flirting with her isn't a "mistranslation" or a joke or anything like that; his dubious wording and antics are very much intentional. Yet the only people I see actually addressing and acknowledging that without adding fluff is keisara shippers and other ""proshippers"" only for them to get fucking sniped for it I cannot 💀💀 I have yet to meet a single eastern fan who calls this cop "fatherly". This really feels like such a western issue cuz the majority of the japanese fandom agrees that this man's a predator (correct me if i'm wrong but keisara is the most popular ship in the japanese side of the fandom, right?). Then again, eastern fandoms are more chill over there when it comes to separating fiction and reality in general anywho.

*Yeah, I think I'm done with the Keiji slander. Yay. Time to unceremoniously end this.

There's more to say about that, but this is a Keiji post, not another shipping discourse post (although it's hard discussing Keiji's predatory behaviour without bringing it up too). Before I do spiral from the original point, I'm going to try and reach some sort of conclusion here. While I did spent the majority of this post just reading Keiji to filth, and am very salty towards him in particular, this was not just to rake him through mud for my own sanity (tho it's part of it XD). Keiji's character is that he started off as someone who wanted to do the right thing, someone who wanted to be good and moral and protect others by joining the force only to kill all the progress he made along with the person who inspired him to become an officer in the first place. It heavily contrasts the Keiji we have now, a sleazy, unreliable and corrupt ex detective who flirts with underage girls and is willing to resort to the most bankrupt of decisions to save himself. A man that has long lost hope of his wounds healing that he lets them fester and his rot spread onto others. And while I headcanon Keiji to just inherently be a piece of shit, his former self tried his best to be genuinely good before he became so convinced he can never be better that he made peace with his shittiness in the end.

With all this I wanted to highlight some the shadier and bankrupt things he's done that I haven't seen much discussion around and refresh myself on them before the final part. Both so no matter how emotionally dependent and therefore rose-tinted Sara is about the man I don't forget what he's actually like and what he's done while also being able to appreciate how much he's changed for the better. Some of my favourite examples about how he's changed are these:

Before the second Main Game Keiji was willing to let Sara and Kanna die because it was the most beneficial option for him, but in Chapter 3 he takes the on the role of "it" from Kanna and refuses to tag Sara when he thought he was gonna die after failing to beat Midori.

Actually showing more sympathy towards Sou after the Main Game. He was very mean about dismantling his pretence of a cold front to Kanna's death, don't get me wrong, but he showed a lot more consideration and understanding for Sou's feelings and acknowledgement about his active role in it than he ever had beforehand.

He was genuinely fighting for everyone to survive the game, not just himself. While Keiji would prefer everyone making it out safely, he has a tendency to guarantee his own survival first through any means necessary. His plan to corner Midori in the banquet could've cost him his life if it weren't for Q-taro's final stunt, yet he still reassured Sara to save Gin even tho it could've resulted in his execution from Meister potentially finding him guilty of violating the rules.

Him hugging Mai and trying to be more cheerful was cute as heck. I'm sorry but him showing more vulnerability around his allies and being less closed off in a way he hasn't been before is something I'm very head empty about. That he was hugging and interacting with Mai without making any unwanted advances or ladykiller jokes and generally just having a more friendly vibe was nice. It makes his creeping on Sara more unfortunate, but I'll take what I can for now. The bar is in hell.

And that's it, I think. Overall, I hope they do address some of his actions here in the final part or make them have an impact on his and Sara's relationship. Especially that Asunaro part. The person who wished for Sara to join the death game is still unknown and so is Keiji's consent form wish (same goes for the Dummies, Hinako and Megumi), so I'm curious if they're related or not. If he's going to go down an even darker path or redeem himself as much as he can we'll see when the final part drops. He has the potential to go both ways. This is going to be kinda awkward if the next part reveals him to have been a decent guy all along, so hopefully that doesn't happen. Please be morally bankrupt, man. This post didn't end up the way I wanted it to, nor bring up as many points as I would've liked, but I know I won't finish it if I went full perfectionist on it (I already spent months on this writer's block do be a bitch) and it's looking kinda long already. Hopefully it's still decent enough as is right now. I'd like to say that this is my apology for the last longpost I made, but I brought up one of the most controversial and hated ships and traits of Keiji's character and defended them, so maybe I shouldn't 🙃 Anywho, hope you enjoyed and cheerio.

[bibibbon]

I honestly hate that Dabi’s abuse has to be debated. Like, it’s pretty clear as day that he was neglected by Enji.

The sheer fact that Touya was literally harming himself to be even noticed by his father should’ve been a massive red flag!

“Oh but Enji did the best he could-“ No, he didn’t? Enji could’ve at least put Touya through some mental health care or you know, STOP LIVING THROUGH HIS FUCKING KIDS!

Also, another thing that grosses me out about the MHA fandom is how people “joke” about how Rei only stayed was because Endeavor had a big sholng and that’s just pretty disgusting in of itself

Hi @palesweetscherryblossom 👋

Absolutely I hate the fact that what the todoroki family all went through has to be debated if it's abuse or not. I have seen people say that shoto was never abused and that enji done nothing wrong by training shoto to the point he puked his guts out at the age of 5 or that enji wasn't in the wrong for purposefully neglecting touya and inserting very harmful ideologies in his head. No enji may have not of abused touya physically but he definitely did abuse touya by neglecting him (neglect is a form of abuse!!!!)

It's still surprising that people can't pick up on the fact that enji very much did neglect touya and shoved the hero ideology down touya's throat (Iam aware that touya's backstory came from enjis pov probably to make enji look better but even with that there are clear signs of neglect)

Chapter 301 to 302 literally had touya say multiple times that it was enji who "lit this fire beneath him to beat all might and become a great hero". The blame is on enji and should be put on him for trying to use a child to live his own foolish dream while also filling the child's mind with harmful ideologies and ideas (I know full well that the whole girl comment that touya made towards fuyumi was directly influenced from enjis thinking and what enji probably told touya when he would ask whenever fuyumi wouldn't train with them)

The thing that some people can't seem to fully grasp is that touya was approximately 7 when all of his training stopped and he was abandoned by enji. Touya had a good 3 years spent being around enji almost 24/7 learning from him and being built to be this powerful masterpiece that is his father's favourite and all of that got taken from him because his body couldn't handle it. Now for a child at that age it would be difficult to understand why his father doesn't talk or love him anymore because I bet full well that touya probably connected enji training him = father son bonding time and as a sign that enji loves and cares for him the most. This is the reason why touya continues to train and harm himself so he can get enji's attention. In the end it was more about enji's love and attention than it was about becoming a hero. For touya becoming a hero was the key to his father's love and attention and that key was robbed from him because his body wasn't compatible with his quirk.

You have Rei literally calling out enji's neglect and behaviour saying that touya is only doing this because he wants his father's attention but enji replies saying that the only attention he can give is showing the path of a hero which is something that touya cant do. This literally goes to prove touya's own thinking as right. The only way touya can get his father's attention and love is by being the best machine to let his father's dream live through him. Touya needed to be the perfect puppet so his father could love him.

Then there's the fact that touya was Ultimately around 8 or so when he found out about the himura family and their secrets and why his mother is having children. All of that is too complex for a child and honestly traumatising to learn about but touya knew it from an incredibly young age. @thr0wnawayy 's post goes into more detail about touya learning what Rei had to go through and his whole family situation.

Enji should of helped touya understand it's not his fault, he should of loved his children equally and should of definitely given him therapy (the guy is rich there's no excuse for him not to take his child to a therapist)

Oh and don't even get me started on the fandoms messed up jokes when it comes to enji and Rei. It's like they don't even read the manga and realise that Rei didn't have a choice in any of this. She didn't stay because she liked it or because she wanted to, the poor women didn't have a choice at all.

[landoscaring]

my thoughts after baku

was debating whether to post my usual post-race commentary/ramblings because today's race was perfect and i mostly have used this space to throw polite shade at mclaren orrrr toxic/incorrect perceptions from fans, but i feel like it's necessary because, in no particular order:

1. oh my fucking god, what a race we got treated to today! oscar's driving was spectacular, it took balls to do what he did and to defend his position from charles (who also drove an amazing race) for what, 2/3 parts of the race? this kid is my goat, i've always known

2. watching today's race was extremely anxiety-inducing. i think charles chased oscar with drs enabled for like, at least 30 laps? and every time they got to the straight i prayed and yelled and cried and laughed maniacally every time oscar managed to block him and speed off. wow. i cannot believe we got to witness that masterclass from oscar.

3. LANDO FUCKING NORRIS, man. i have no words for him except that i truly think he may be the driver of his generation. what he did, covering oscar from checo??? absolutely divine. and like, yeah, i know he had his own reasons to do that, but he could've still said, nah, fuck it? i love his team spirit. and jesus christ did he shut everyone up today with his overtakes, his tyre management, and his overall pace. my goat!!!!!

4. we didn't get the strategy we thought (and feared) we'd get, but that's a) extremely poetic in a "ha! second driver whooo?" way, and b) confirmation that mclaren can in fact pull off a competitive race strategy without fucking over either lando or oscar. they both achieved the best possible result today given the circumstances: oscar with a win ahead of charles and max (important for lando's wdc) and red bull (important for the wcc) and lando moving up from P15 to P4 andddd ending up above max. incredible performance all around.

5. who knows what'll happen next, but i think today's win has a huge psychological impact on oscar's mindset for the remaining races. he got his 2nd win after a highly questioned maiden one on merit alone. if things go the way we all thought they would this weekend with lando at the front fighting for points, i think it'll be easier for oscar to help out. kind of like he took the edge off (not that he's going to stop fighting for a win, but i think today he proved to everyone something he'd been quietly building up to).

6. i know there's quite a bit of PR in the post-race interviews and team debrief and the team celebration... but i don't care because i'm a sucker for those. lando spraying oscar with champagne? andrea hugging him and kissing lando's head? lando talking about how deserved the win is? the "let's go, baby"????? i died.

7. the whole checo and sainz thing was so, soooo unnecessary. i'm glad they made it out okay.

8. WILLIAMS???????????? i see you, and i like what i see. very extremely happy for alex, and also of course for franco!

onto singapore, pals. we'll see what our papaya boys can do 🧡😭

[genericpuff]

I followed artsangel since her previous comic immaterial. I have to say she IS talented and has the skills. But her style is verrrrry time consuming and she would only update every 2 weeks. I used to study her art a lot because I was always impressed by it, and Im fairly certain it did not look like like that when it was on canvas. I used to see her progresses on her stories and she uses a lot of assets and predrawn faces to keep her consistent pixar look. The faces were less uncanny and more expressive. Now the eyes are all wonky and displaced.

I think she may have used ai to polish her panels. Perhaps the workload proved too much, or maybe she was feeling insecure. I was concerned when she got picked up by webtoon because I could tell it would be difficult for her to keep up the schedule. Ai is super powerful but its not powerful enough to make a COMIC, not even consistently. She probably using it as an enhancer to her already great skills. A shame though, she doesn’t need it.

Also I think the reason her preproduction period was so quick is because she was highly prepared before launch. She already has multiple comics under her belt and webtoon probably didn’t need to change much. Im sure she just reused her canvas comic for her reboot and built a buffer in the meantime.

Having to meet deadlines can definitely be a reason but not an excuse IMO.

One creator I can think of who has a similar style (albeit in black and grey) is figmentforms, creator of A Tale of Two Rulers.

Updates are slow, she posts maybe a new page once a month, the art is gorgeous but it's clear it takes her time. It's a free to read comic. It's worth the wait.

That said, if she wanted to make her updates more frequent, I wouldn't blame her at all for utilizing new tools and methods to do so - but it wouldn't justify her in using AI tools that are stealing other people's art.

There are loads of shortcuts that artists already use that are fine because they're still genuinely handcrafted. 3D models, overlay textures, blur effects, etc. are all tools that artists use to help speed up the drawing process and were made by hand.

And beyond that, the need to make the process more efficient isn't a crime, but it's in how you do it. You can use these tools irresponsibly or at the cost of your own comic's quality. Case in point, Lore Olympus and Let's Play, which are both godawful in how they implement 3D backgrounds and stock images:

Creating comics is finding a balance between efficiency and quality, not sacrificing one for the other and using it as justification to avoid criticism for that sacrifice.

If Sarah Ellerton was using AI based on her own art and being honest about it, I don't think anyone would be nearly as upset. It might prompt a debate over what's ethical in the world of comics - whether or not it's right for consumers to pay for a product that's being churned out of an AI prompt - but at least it wouldn't be theft and it would probably just be there as an aid to an artist who's been doing this for 20 years and had to find a way to make the process more efficient. I think AI can be used as a productive tool if it's implemented responsibly and without being at the cost of another artist's work.

The issue is that 1.) Sarah is being VERY suspicious over the whole thing which leads us to believe that she's NOT using ethical AI assistance, and 2.) there's a VERY clear distinction near the end of her previous comic, Immaterial, where you can basically tell when she adopted AI. The main character Alex, for example, literally became a whole other person.

This is a common problem for AI coloring prompts, a LOT of them are bad at rendering darker skin tones (I think I mentioned this in my last post, but I literally got to playtest AI coloring tools from WT's a couple years ago, and they could NOT figure out darker skin tones, any dark colors that were put down were assumed to be shadows so characters just looked like white characters with the curtains pulled over their face).

She just looks like a SamDoesArts poster girl now. Everything unique about her has been stripped away and you can see this transition in the final page of Immaterial and the first episode of Quantum Entanglement:

None of it feels like organically her, it feels like a cheap machine reproduction.

I don't doubt that this person has evolved a lot as an artist or that her older work was genuinely her, she's clearly got a lot of skill that only someone who's been drawing comics for years would gain.

But it's clear somewhere along the way she succumbed to insecurity or stopped caring enough to start using AI to do the heavy lifting. I mean honestly, her work from before was fine! So I don't see why she would be using it for 'polishing', there are so many ugly ass webtoons on the platform so even the art from Immaterial - even if she had to simplify it a bit more to make it easier to meet deadlines - would likely be a refreshing change of pace.

But the way she's utilized AI here, I was quicker to assume Sam Yang drew Quantum Entanglement when I first saw it.

And it is a shame, because, as you said, she doesn't need it. Her art is perfectly capable on its own and while I can understand her need to make the process more efficient, there are better ways to do that than using AI that's clearly ripping off other artists and then lying about it. It's a shame she'd put her reputation on the line as a seasoned artist just to meet Webtoons' stupid deadlines. Like, how can it be worth it?

[meanbossart]

Massive ask compilation time OH LORD

YES, her journals are a fun read. I somewhat wish there was more to her and The Dark Urge's interactions, too - she's wonderfully evil and clearly very attached to you if you're playing as that character, but I had hoped there was more of a reason for her obsession besides just "you were fun to cut up", haha. I remember reading her journal over a couple of times looking for something I might have missed.

His reaction was pretty in line with the Narrator's cues, just immediate rage over what she had done to him - DU Drow may be a masochist but that's reserved for people he cares about! So, her and her posse met a swift end. Also, despite the fact that the whole tadpole thing turned out being for the best, I think he's easily overtaken by resentment over his lost glory-days whenever faced with it so directly (he misses living in obliviousness) - not to mention his profound fear of vulnerability, and of feeling... Small. The way Kressa spoke to and of him would have absolutely shook him to his core, especially by doing so in front of the others.

[MORE UNDER CUT]

THANK YOU so much for your kind words first of all! As for the question, it depends a bit on the timeline; his dislike of female drow, especially at the start of his tadpole'd journey is pretty irrational and faith status wouldn't be of too much relevance, he just thinks It's in their nature to want to put him down and be conniving, and wants nothing to do with them.

Later, and especially post-game, he might at least give them a chance to prove they aren't "like other drow", though it would take him a lot to ever let his guard down entirely - UNLESS you seem like a complete fool LOL he's actually easy to trick into dismissing you as long as you don't mind playing the role of a dumb idiot.

But if not, he'd have an extremely short patience for any attempts to exert authority over him or his actions - or jokes at his expense, or any level of smugness or secrecy. Nymea would definitely feel kept at arms length because of the gender+race combo alone and have to put up with a lot of snideness. Basically, she'd have to treat this 6'4" feet tall freak with kids gloves to ever develop a rapport LOL

But also... The vampirism may "help"? He'd consider her a "lesser drow" for it. In that regard her attitudes toward Astarion would probably come to be relevant. I'm not sure about that aspect of it to be honest!

First of all, this is a hysterical scenario because he Would just fucking put the ring on without thinking about it LOL so thank you for the laugh that mental image just provided me with.

Oh he wouldn't care though. I mean, he dislikes drow in general, but he is a drow (up for debate, but you know, generally speaking) and he thinks he's pretty great. As long as he's still huge and strong he could wake up a woman tomorrow and not give a damn. And, frankly, his dick could turn into a pussy at any point in time and it wouldn't change anything about his character save for having to add a recurring UTI problem to his character sheet - he'd probably have fun with it.

TOTALLY FAIR, I'm very sorry it went past the point of enjoyment for you, but I'm glad you knew when to put it down!!! We're in our hand-holding and elf-smooching era now with the occasional visceral description of violence LOL SO YOU'RE WELCOME IN IF YOU'D LIKE. Thank you for dropping by!

Just putting this here because - I actually haven't decided yet, so that's pretty funny you asked LOL I'm leaning eyes closed though, nothing like a smooch to calm the big weirdo down.

HAHAHAH WELCOME BACK, I've been around this whole time! But I was hanging out on twitter for the most part. HOPE YOU'RE INTO THE DND STUFF LOL

DROW DURGES RISE UP I'll be honest with you friend, DU drow's lore has been as accidental as something like that can be, so much of it has felt completely organic in the way it came up - I guess that's what good RPG does to your brain. The rest of it has just been a wonderful opportunity to develop my writing that I decided to take full advantage of this year. Thank you so much for the lovely message!

---

Aaaaand I can barely muster something to say that feels like an appropriate response, but again I wanted to acknowledge all the sweet compliments people take the time to leave in my inbox. Some of you guys' comments about the things I create blow me away, I think I'm pretty confident in my art but... Damn, makes me so happy to know the stuff I create can hold a little special place to some folks. Thank you all so, so much for taking time out of your day to spread a little kindness around, and make mine a little better.

Again, thank you all for humoring me, have a lovely day folks!