#Bc of a chapter cover + post-canon talk

[fumifooms]

Namalin

Namari x Falin

Easy short rarepair spotlight post for prosperity~ This one I didn’t think of on my own for once, I don’t know if it’s just I forgot the decided-on ship name or what but I remember seeing really nice art and a couple posts about it that I can’t find again 💔 Namalin warrior you are out there and not forgotten ty for making me see the light

I like that Namari’s critical of Falin! I have a whole character analysis on Falin if you’re interested, but it’s generally well noticed that people around Falin idealize her a lot. Laios, Marcille and Toshiro all put her on a pedestral of ultimate goodness in the world, a saintess if nothing short of perfection. Sounds like Chilchuck felt sort of creeped out by her vibes, uncomfortable because he couldn’t read her, so unlike Namari it seems he preferred steering clear of her rather than debate opposed ideologies like he usually does. Makes sense if unlike Namari his issue is with her cryptic aura rather than the stances she does show. "… The dungeon is no place for soft hearts" my ultimate namalin scene <333 It’s fun because while this scene is there to show us a lot of things, mostly to establish Falin’s characters better as it’s the first flashback of her we get, the conflict in it is more than anything else Falin vs Namari in how they contrast and clash and approach situations differently. Namari wants security in swift effective violence and thinks Falin too soft for her own good when she prefers a pacifist approach and promotes compassion even for the "undeserving" in Namari’s eyes. Falin steps between the battle ready Namari and the ghost, fearless. Falin effortlessly gently exorcises the ghost without one step back, quickly. Falin proves someone wrong. Falin proves someone wrong.

I love thinking of Namari being surprised when she learns new aspects of Falin. I like Falin having the power to shape people’s views on her. With Falin ships the most fun part for me is usually that point where Falin/the relationship becomes a clean slate: the person realizes they haven’t been seeing all of her, realizes there’s more of her they hadn’t noticed or that she hadn’t shown, that there’s change, a shift in the views on each other and the dynamic a bit.

Namari often feels like an external view looking in to me… I need to make a proper analysis on her but like. I made a lamari post once (analytic more than personally invested rip sorry) and I go with the same Namari take here, I think she’s someone who tends to have an outsider view on people and relationships if that makes sense, she’s a coworker before anything else and she’s content staying at a distance, she’s not objective per se but she tries to keep feelings out of her choices and how she sees people (her lil arc on not staying to save Falin despite the existing camaderie but in the end asking to work for the Flokes more because she wants to stay with them). She’s serious no nonsense on the job but friendly off the job and likes having casual friends, but she’s not… She doesn’t really feel connected to the group. She’s so focused on doing her job, even if she does get impulsive and passionate and too assertive for her bosses’ tastes, so focused on working her reputation and life from the ground up that that professionalism and attitude limits her social life. It doesn’t help that her reputation makes her widely judged, so she probably enters social spaces on the derensive. The closest person she was to pre-canon as far as we knew was Chilchuck and even they have a very "coworker I get along with" dynamic more than friends, with a similar sense of boundaries, humor and world view. Also like canon says a few time, the party didn’t really try to get to know each other well pre-canon, didn’t hang out after work often no one knew where Marcille was from and no one thought that was weird (also how no one had the instinct to ask about Senshi’s past) etc, the notable exception is we’re shown Namari and Chilchuck hitting taverns together and having a grand time. Everyone’s fine with things as they are, they get along decent even if not everyone considers each other friends exactly. Where I’m getting at is that to me, it feels like she tries keeping emotional distance. Emotional distance from people in general being something which in my interpretation of Falin is also present, which would make it a theme and common thread interesting to explore imo. But yes like, Namari looking at Falin, and how everyone treats her, and being more skeptical, seeing her for what she is a little more, maybe even uncharitable. "Why is everyone treating her like she’s all that? She’s gentle sure but seems like a doormat to me" and then one day she comes running up with her mace ready to cave in someone’s face to protect Laios. So yeah… Keeping her distance but one day Falin offering her some gentleness that feels very too personal for someone who’s not used to being genuine and simply showing that they care… Them talking a bit which leaves her stumped and mindblown in a quiet way when Falin defies her expectations. Namari growing on Falin when she stays and decides to open herself up more, or when Falin ends up reading her really well like she’s shown to do with her parents and Marcille’s worries. She’s very attuned to worrying and why and when different people do it especially when it comes to when they worry for others, perhaps because she does a lot of that too, so I think she’d nail down how Namari does care for the rest of the party and it’d make Namari feel seen both in a warm validating way and in a scared naked way.

We see in the tentacles chapter that she’s someone’s who’s very protective and looks out for her peers in a tough love way. She’s overbearing but it’s because she wants everyone to have the best chances. I like that she’s very confrontational and somewhat pushy and rude, but it’s tough love, it’s protective care: asserting herself to better protect and defend. The opposite of Falin’s type of care, quiet and self-sacrificial devotion. They’re barbarian x healer but they’re also bodyguard x bodyguard in their attitude and role. … What I want for them is slow burn slice of life of being coworkers and slowly getting to know each other better, pretty fluffy, but god, put this way they’d have the potential to be such a hot layered mess of insanely mutually devoted codependence… Falin taking a hit for Namari and Namari being scarred by it forever, lots of arguments about it, my god.

I like that she’s the fighter to Falin’s healer. I looove thinking of scenes of Falin healing Namari, necessitating touch and like, a moment of slowing down and sitting together in silence, too intimate, the perfect opportunity to connect that neither truly want to take until one day they do. I love how onesided I imagine the relationship would be at first. Again, as per my interpretation of Falin, I think Namari would have all these little observations and opinions on Falin meanwhile Falin really doesn’t think of Namari much at first. So Namari thinks a lot about Falin and thinks she’s got her pinned down but hasn’t (not that she’s fully wrong, she’d have credit and confront Falin on some of her flaws like the doormat thing), while Falin is very passive about Namari and doesn’t think deeply about her or anything but she read Namari’s insecurities and logic well. Not unlike how Laios was the one who seemed to understand Namari’s way of care the best in the party in the tentacles episode, and how he was very understanding of her choice and reasons. In Falin’s case it’s more like, the objectivity of passivity… She cares about Namari less than Laios who generally seeks to form bonds, so her lack of investment allows her a neutral perspective. In that way another parallel with Namari that I’m drawing, except Namari lets feelings from her opinions seeps in more… Onesided beef my beloved. I’m going insane save me this post was a mistake. I think Falin takes the crumbs of friendship and love where she can without expecting or asking for anything more than what’s offered, and I think her relationship with Namari (or anyone really) would start out the way it did with Marcille: the other takes the initiative and they end up spending time together, Falin is friendly but unattached until the bond gets gradually and wordlessly strenghtened through regularly spending moments together. So! I think Namari would need to take a lot of the first steps, which since again she’s confrontational & argumentative and doesn’t hold herself back on that front that could spark a lot of conversations I think. Ooor since Falin cares about Namari less than Laios and Marcille she allows herself to be bolder herself lol. Or also circumstances force them to spend time together like dungeon party getting separated shenanigans.

I think their personalities match cutely, I think falin would try to protect namari like she does others but also Namari simply doesn’t need protection, just support. And I think they’re complementary in that way that Namari’s friendly but also won’t sugarcoat things, and I think if she takes an interest in Falin it could go from there and she could develop some understanding of her and idk like an intrigued crush….

Namari wants stability & security & to, like, not be judged and rejected and exiled lol, to find her nest her pack the place where she feels good and wanted in. I think having a fitting partner would help in that (similarly to how the found family with the Flokes seemed to. Oh another parallel, Falin’s top priority is protecting Laios her brother and what Namari are a family figure) and I think Falin would fulfill that cozy protection and that warm ‘being seen and not judged’ feeling. But also Namari would run up to her and yell about her trying to sacrifice herself ever.

Another fun thread to explore: post-canon guilt for not having gone to save her. Sure, they weren’t close, but they had some nice memories, didn’t they? Namari cares, and it stings despite herself when it feels like people think she doesn’t. Oh it wasn’t a lost cause after all, oh it’d have worked out, oh I could have stayed loyal and it wouldn’t have compromised myself in the end. Wanting to apologize to Falin, or just ahnging out with her and sharing a moment after she wakes up. And tangent but that’s interesting to think about… Narratively, I think the purpose of Namari and Toshiro in the story, beyond strenghtening the theme of "seek to understand what is different from you and promote unity despite them" and fleshing the cast and worldbuilding, is Toshiro’s purpose was being a foil & tool in Laios’ arc (trouble connecting with people) while Namari’s was being and a foil & tool in Marcille’s arc (standing up for ideals without being out of touch with harsh realities and needs). They are the conflict that push our protagonists to grow— and they explore different ways of dealing with a situation or topic, different ways of growing into themselves on that end: Laios needing to listen to others more and Toshiro needing to focus on voicing himself more to be able to connect, Marcille needing to learn ideals sometimes cost too much and Namari needing to internalize that ideals are sometimes worth risks (not only to be able to find a reasonable but fulfilling life balance, but also to get in touch with their compassion: Namari restricts her own too much and Marcille is too harsh on people she deems to be breaking values, like Namari not risking her life and career for a friend with no promise of success, or even like how Namari is harsh on Falin’s way of doing things : too gentle, too soft, too idealistic) (similarly to Chilchuck’s arc with Marcille too, and he also plays a hand in advancing that arc in the Namari chapters). We are getting far from namalin sorry ummm preview for future analyses like Toshiro’s contrasting approach to grief and accepting loss.

More post-canon namalin! Thinking about a timeline where… Namari is fond of Falin finding herself and going off to do her thing. "Finally!" she thinks. If she’s still for hire, maybe Falin would want her to come along, either as guide or bodyguard <3, she knows Namari has a lot of good avice on a lot of things to give, plus they’ve worked together before. She hires Namari and they travel for a bit. Travel would do Namari good too I think, even if her end goal is to settle and I think Falin’s would be too eventually. Seeing sights that light her wonder for the world and going places where people don’t know her story, don’t recognize her face or her name. Them, feeling free. Finding a companionship that feels uplifting instead of stifling or charged. Namari having been too in her head about reputation and social games and money that they hit the roads and spend time in nature and it’s like, woah. I’ve been living in a small world with made up rules.

Ahh yes romance, Namari and Falin kissing after 3 years of not really knowing each other despite seeing each other every day then 2 months of wanting to spend more and more time together until they’re an inseparable duo! Workwives. I want them to stand next to each other during campire time and Namari cracks little jokes and Namari laughs. I want Namari to gift Falin a bug caught in amber and for it to be their wedding/promised to each other thing.

TLDR

Rowdy but levelheaded barbarian x gentle healer that will also cave your face in with a mace I like it…… They’re an interesting duo of mixed stuff. Protection being your purpose and what you’re worth for, literally being a meat shield (Laios, Tansu), finding your individuality recognized and validated through a growing bond with the other. Sticking around as a love language. Also bug immortalized in amber and it being beautiful.

Nevermind this wasn’t short. Um! Anyways.

[penvisions]

return the favor {chapter 24}

Pairing: Post-Outbreak! Joel Miller X Smuggler! Reader

Summary: The aftemath of Silverlake has Ellie contemplating the direction of where she wants to go, what she wants to do with her life. All you and Joel can do if offer your experiences and help her navigate the decision.

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, cursing, insult, allusions to non con sexual advances, blood, take of injuries, talk of trauma, allusions to cannibalism, end of the world politics, end of the world rhetoric, allusions to pedophilia and grooming (bc of david), please let me know if i missed any!

A/N: this fic is coming to a close! i want to say there will be two more chapters and an epilogue. one more of the plain plot from the show and then a little bit beyond that, i just wanted to thank everyone who has been so kind and patient with me regarding updates, life's been a lot lately with so many different moving parts. but things are calming down and i am so grateful for everything ♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

It’s fucking cold.

The trek to safety is fucking long.

Emotions are running fucking haywire.

When they aren’t numb completely. Ellie has officially shut down, none the wiser of the world and what your little trio is facing. Her young mind rapidly working to process what exactly had happened, and while you could only infer based on your own interactions from the man, it wasn’t good. The only consolation is that when you had cradled her face in your hands, eyes searching her own for the answer on the top of your tongue.

‘The wind picks up, sending flurries of powdery snow into the air before it can settle and stick to the ground. Joel is holding his shoulder tight, rifle slung over the other, head on as swivel as you land on your knees in front of the distraught girl. She’s covered in blood, her nose broken, her hair half out of the band holding it back. Her breathing is still harsh, stuttering, her chest rising and falling as she tries to catch it.

Her hands are shaking as she reaches up to hold to yours, her fingers clutching tightly around yours where she manages to get a grip.

”Ellie, please. Tell me, baby, did he-?”

“N-no, he- he tried but…” Her eyes don’t leave yours, not even when you feel Joel move closer and cups your shoulder. A silent plea, a connection, an understanding that this was vital, this would determine what you do next.

“I’m so sorry, baby, it’s….it’s not okay, but it will be, I promise you.” She surged forward, the force of it knocking Joel’s oversized jacket from where it had been placed over her shoulders. She clings to you, small hiccups turning into little whimpers as you feel her bottom lip tremble against your neck. You try your best to hold all of her, her frame nearly as tall as your own. You murmur assurances, trying your best to blink back tears of your own. From the depravity of the situation, the frustration, the anger, the sheer desperation you had felt and only imagined what she had.’

“Joel…” You can’t help the feeling of trepidation that fills your chest, makes your breathing a touch too fast, gray edging at the corners of your eyes. He either can’t hear you or you didn’t speak aloud in the first place, but his broad shoulders continue to move in a steady rhythm of his steps as he leads the way through the snow that’s built up far too much for comfort. The storm picking up from a gentle dusting of snow to whipping, howling winds that pelt down hail and heavy drifts of snow. Ellie is between you both, her small frame huddled in on itself, she was beginning to stagger as well. “Joel, we have to stop.”

“I’m lookin’, but I don’t….I don’t see anywhere safe enough for us.” He turns a bit, to let you know he’s heard you. His broad shoulders the only thing you can see just up ahead. Everything else is a blur of white. Ellie barely visible in between you both, her body covered in layers, Joel’s jacket still over her small shoulders. She’s been…somewhere else. Mind still reeling, still in shock despite the hours that have passed since leaving that wretched town behind.

“Joel, please, I can’t- I can’t walk any further. We all need tending to. Actual tending to, someplace to lay down.”

“I know, darlin’, I’m tryin’.” He doesn’t sound upset or exasperated; he’s agreeing. He’s nearly pleading with you with his deep brown eyes when he looks at you over his shoulder. He wants you to see that he’s doing his best. He knows you know, but he wants you to see, that he’s been changed in the little time you were apart. He hadn’t…he had wanted for you to stay safe. Away from him seemed the best bet for that, he mulls over in his mind. He had been mistaken. He needed you, he needed Ellie. He needed the support he had found with you both and cultivated over your travels. He…wasn’t weaker without you but he wasn’t himself.

That first night, he guided you both through the snow-covered landscape, through the whipping winds and the biting cold. Until his legs ached and his lungs burned, body exhausted now that his adrenaline had waned away to nothing. Leaving him spent.

It was nearly a week before Ellie realized that the direction you chose to go was in the general direction of back up north toward Jackson. That it was decidedly not further into the desolate wasteland of the open country. She’s recognizing things or beginning to be aware enough to compare the things around her to the things she’s seen so far.

The first thing you do when finding safety that night was tend to everyone. Clean them of the blood that stained more than just their skin. More than just your skin.

“Joel…this, this looks good, all things considering.” You sigh in relief, the way he curls in on himself in a he stands at attention at one end of small clearing. He had guided you deep into the woods, hoping for coverage, hoping for the distance to be enough even if it felt like thousands of miles never would be. You had urged him to sit down with his back to a tree, peeling away the flannel from his skin to peer at the cut you had landed on him beneath. It was scabbed over, a touch too deep for your liking. You could see evidence of irritation of inflammation and where it reopened every so often with a pull to his shoulder.

“My stomach, Ellie did her best but-“

“She told me.” You whispered, fingers trailing down his front and feeling the muscles of his chest and stomach jump at the featherlight pressure. The heat and weight of his gaze was palpable as you unbuttoned a couple of the rungs at the bottom, lifting it up enough to see the puckered skin and haphazard stitching. You could see the thread, soaked with his blood and dried up now. It was puffy, a little swollen but most likely from exertion and friction, not from anything serious.

“She did a good job with what she had. But…honestly, I’d like to redo the stitches with wire. Just to be safe.” Eyes searching his own, you look up at him from where your leaned over low. His brown eyes dark as the only light that really shines down from the stars is faint. The flashlight you had aimed at him not reaching past his chest where it laid on the ground.

“Tomorrow.” He whispers, voice soft. His hands move from his sides to hold yours, his shirt falling back into place. He holds them gently, giving you the space to pull away should you want to, feel the need to…

“I’m okay.” You whisper, face softening as you see the silent question in his eyes. His gaze drops from your face and rakes down your body, the blood still staining your clothing and the rips in your jeans. It had been too much, to see you both covered in blood and feral. Survival instincts flared and on high alert, driving you through the moments he had finally caught up and found you. But he had been too late. Too slow. Again.

“Hey, I’m okay.” You repeat a in a firmer tone, even as his fingers twitched around yours.

"Your beautiful hair." He brings a hand up to skim it down the uneven waves. It's completely frizzed out and lackluster from the elements, from stress, from the jarring cut. He's trying to swallow down the lump in his throat, you can see it bob as he does so, his words going with it.

"It'll grow back, it's just hair." Your smile is wan, your own feelings on it too much to delve into.

“Need you to be okay, need you both to be okay.” Is his ragged exhale as you lean in and press your forehead to his. Cold skin to cold skin, sharing warmth in the late hour. You’re both too wound up to sleep, but you sit in a comfortable silence until the first light graces a new day.

“Bean?”

“Yes, lil gremlin?”

“Can…can I-“ Her eyes dart to Joel, the way his hands are busy stoking the small fire. Trying to revive it in the early hours of the morning. It was quiet, even if no one had been able to sleep for much longer than a few hours. There was evidence of Joel having gone out on a patrol around the building, a dilapidated visitor center for a state park somewhere in Colorado. Mountains loomed to the west, nothing to the north, white blinding in every direction even as it seemed to begin to wane. A storm finally calming.

A place of shelter finally found the night before, two weeks since all three of you had been reunited.

She was still a little nervous using her voice. The only regular instances of hearing it was in the small cries she let out in the middle of the night, when sleep claimed her and memories reared their ugly heads.

“What is it?”

“I don’t, um…” She stutters, eyes downcast as she looks at her worn shoes. It was time to search for new ones, something you hoped you could replicate for her. The favored red chucks she had from the first moment you met her a part of her and probably a comfort at this point were holding on but barely. Her voice lowers, something in her tone spikes your anxiety and you’re standing quickly. The movement catches Joel’s attention and he does too, by the fireplace. Eyes sharp and focused he could only watch as Ellie regarded her shoes, unwilling to look up or further explain.

Sighing, she finally glanced up at you. Her eyes moved to Joel, darting away as he watched on. Worry beginning to crease his brow and pull the corners of his mouth down.

“Do you have any…t-tampons?”

Joel’s turning around back to the fire as quickly as he had turned toward you both. You try to hide a chuckle at that, he really was such a man sometimes. Would kill and maim for you both, but the idea of a tampon shut him off from conversation completely. You pick up your pack from where they’re stored by the back door, ready for a hasty retreat. The memories of the last time you had been huddled up somewhere to get a way from the cold in the back of your minds. She follows behind as you go into the office, never wanting to be too far from you if you were in the same space.

But as you go to begin digging around inside, Ellie reached a steady hand out and laces her fingers through yours. Silently, you allow her to drag you to the bed. Reminiscent of that first night at Bill and Frank’s, she curls up into your side and you throw an arm around her cautiously. Slow movements allowing her time to voice if she doesn’t want something or if a line will be crossed.

“Can you tell me a little bit more about what Marlene’s plan?” Before your lips were parting, the teenager spurred on, voice a little small but very much firm in words. “I know you were mainly a smuggler and stuff, but you said you traded with her. Helped patch her people up sometimes.”

“Ellie…” It was late, the sun having set, and the night sky covered by thick coverage that promised another harsh snow. But with the estimated time of year, the length of the time you all had been enduring it, spring was sure to come soon. Hopefully by the time you had managed to travel to the next destination…which it seemed like Ellie was determined to figure out now with you. You both knew Joel would go along with whatever was decided, though you reserved the thought of what he would have to say should Ellie still want to go forward with finding Marlene and helping her out. It’s what started this whole journey after all…it’s what gave someone who was far too young with far too little a purpose.

Who were you and Joel to take that away from her? Regardless of your concerns about the efficacy and morality of what was at stake?

“Please, I…I need to know so I can make a decision.” She’s conflicted, the initial purpose of the journey lost in the wake of everything that’s occurred, everything that sees seen and been through. Marlene, the Fireflies, her former life; all of it a distant memory.

“We don’t have to make any decisions right now, we can just rest. It’s okay.” Soothing her as best you could, you rub a gentle hand over her back, the tension in her small body winding her muscles tight even as she breaths deeply and evenly.

“It’s…it’s heavy, the weight of her in the back of my mind. I need to decide if we move toward her or…. back home.”

“To Jackson?”

“To Jackson.” Her nose prods at your ribs where her head is tucked into your middle. “We can have a life there, all of us. I- I want that.”

“I’ll do everything in my power to make that happen, I promise you.” Shuffling down a little further, you press your nose into her hair, giving her everything you possibly could. You always would, she deserves it. She deserved every god damn thing she wants, no matter how trivial or silly.

“I’m not afraid of him, I hope he doesn’t think that.” She confesses, her voice taking on a different edge, an exhaustion that you knew all to well. You hadn’t thought so, neither had he. Her mind almost working against her with his presence, a natural response to not only what you had seen, but what you had inferred happened as she had been chased until the moment she had successfully fled.  

“No, honey, he does not. He just wants you to feel comfortable, so he’s letting you decide how to interact with him.”

“He’s a good man,” She mumbles, voice thick as sleep takes a hold of her. You smile into the crown of her head, heart skipping as you recall Joel’s lopsided grin, his dimpled cheek quirked up and his wrinkles deepening with the action.

“He is.” Her hand tangles with yours, fingers slack the second they do and you hold on tight enough for the both of you.

Hours later, you emerge from the room. It had been an office, but the cot in there with the collection of blankets and supplies told you it had been someone’s safe haven for a time. You tried not to wonder what had happened to them.

“Everythin’ okay?” He looks up from where he’s seated on the small couch in front of the fireplace. A lounge spot for guests once upon a time. Now a blessed place to rest that wasn’t harsh, frozen ground.

“Just girl stuff.”

“Girl..stuff?”

“Yes, Joel. Girl stuff.” You meet his eyes with a blank face, hoping he understood without explicit details, you didn’t want to embarrass Ellie anymore than she already felt. The subject matter probably something she didn’t want to discuss with him beforehand and especially now…You had noticed that the teenager was wary of every large shadow, anything that resembled a masculine figure. But Joel, she trusted wholeheartedly. He had never given her any reason to fear him, not beyond that first encounter.

She knew he would never raise his hand or voice at her. That he would never do so to you.

Sighing, you slumped onto the couch beside Joel. Dust flying up from the action, ingrained in the fabric despite the way you had seen Joel try to rid them of it.

“This okay?” His voice was low, almost hushed as he raised his left arm and put it along the back of the couch. You looked up at him, eyes connection and nodded before settling in beside him with your head on his shoulder and your hand on his chest. Neither of you had brought up deep conversation, questions that lingered in too-long gazes or lost in thought wonderings. Ellie was the focus right now, getting her to safety.

You sit in silence for a while, basking in the calm moment alone with him. His casual touch comforting, butterflies fluttering in your middle as you feel shy all of a sudden with him. It was out in the open, the connection you two shared, the one that had been deep enough to prompt him to see it as a weakness.

“She wants to find Marlene. But not to help her, to get more answers. To find out if the woman can be trusted.”

“She can’t be.” He’s so matter of fact, you know he’s had nothing but bad interactions with her. Bad memories of her. But so did you, despite actively trading with the woman long ago now.

“I know that and you know that, and she acknowledges that. She wants me-“

“You ain’t goin’ to see her alone.” His arm wraps over your shoulders, pulling you into him even more. As if he could physically restrain you from leaving even as you two sat together and merely discussed it.

“Joel…”

“Darlin’, she’s got too many men if the setup is half of what she had in the QZ. Too much fire power if she decides you’re the one not to be trusted and prevents you from leaving or sends them out in search of me ‘n Ellie.”

“I know…I can…I can spin a story about how Ellie got injured. That’s why you brought her to me, found me in one of my hiding spots in the city. That we- tried to keep her alive as long as possible but come winter her injuries were too bad.” You can tell he doesn’t like the idea, but it’s what you’ve got. She would have to believe it. The landscape unforgiving, the winter one of the worst in more recent years.

“She’ll wonder why it was you that came to her then, rather than me.”

“Joel…she’s…she’s going to kill her one way or another if she even so much as catches wind of a lie. I can lie, I can make the story believable, for all our sakes. She…she wants to go back to Jackson, she wants to have a home. She wants to be with us, to just…be a kid even if it’s a little too late.”

“Shouldn’t have left you there…especially the way that I did.” His voice dips, quiet and somber. A confession you already knew by the way he watched you, kept you and Ellie fed as best he could, stood watch every night so you two could rest.

“It’s…it happened. That’s all I can say.” You press your face into the crook of his neck, his right hand coming up to help you toss your legs over his own. It was quiet, it was comfortable, it was easy. Even if there was more to be said about what it all was. For now…for now you would have it, have him. You’re pretty sure you would for the rest of your life. “But…it did allow me to cross paths with some people.”

“Good people or bad people?”

“Family. Joel, I found my family.” He doesn’t say anything, though you can sense that his mind is working overtime, that worry is seeping into his thoughts, into his very being at the implication. “I sent them to Jackson, gave them my map with a note scrawled on it and the rest of my food. They…they had been traveling for a long time, no shelter for too long.

“My cousins, they…they told me how things went down back home. That my dad- that he…”

“’s okay, he’s at peace now.” He buried his nose into your hair, breathing you in. Comforting you with a press of his lips and tightening his hold on you as you practically laid in his lap. “Tommy, he’s good. He’ll take care of them. He’ll believe them, take them in and care for them like they’re his own.”

“The girl…Joel, I thought she would’ve been long dead by now. Wouldn’t even have the chance to be born. My aunt, she was still pregnant when the Outbreak happened. Had only been about four months along but, fuck…She’s so beautiful, Joel. She’s alive, her brother kept her alive.”

“Babies are a lot, but now…”

“Babies are a lot.” You repeat, thought the image of a young boy with wide brown eyes and thick curls bursts up into your mind. Freckled skin, gummy smile. Holding hands with an older Ellie…

“Without you we managed to get on the bad side of a group of….fucking religious zealots who moonlighted as cannibals. Some sick preacher who demands things of the children in his care, in his protection. What-“ He tenses beneath you, the rage and disgust he feels toward the very thought of the dead man’s mindset. “What kind of a man even thinks that way?”

“He was demented, before the end of the world. Turned into a monster long before the world turned others.”

“The way I’m imagining things going, even though you said he didn’t- didn’t do that- he still took you both, he still put his hands on you, thought about-“

“He’s gone now, let’s just…let’s just sit here, yeah?” You placed your hand over his racing heart, his adrenaline amping up and far too focused on something that was already dealt with. You knew about guilt, about shame, of carrying things with you. But this was something you didn’t want anyone to hold onto, you didn’t want it to define Ellie or Joel, didn’t want it to warp them or change the way they saw the world. Even though you knew it would, you would try your best to handle your own side of the experience and help them through theirs.

His hand rested over yours, the fire crackled on, and you both fell into a restful slumber for the first time in a long time.

The future doesn’t seem so bleak, with the younger girl still in tow. Intact and seemingly come to a decision. No more lingering questions, no more inquisitive comments, everything she had thought of and every errant thought addressed and talked about. It had taken days to hash it all out with you and Joel.

That was weeks ago, the weather warming since then. Though the nights were still stark and chilly, there was no more snow, no more storms and the ice that had taken over the landscape had melted.

It was finally spring. A season of new beginnings.

She’s been quiet when anything else was concerned, not asking after food or shelter, more layers, for someone to quit either humming or rambling as Joel had begun to do a bit to try and stave off the silence. He didn’t like it, he had confessed one night when it was late, you barely asleep and leaning against his chest in front of the fire. Quiet normally meant everything was alright, but the quiet that settled over the trio as of late, since…since that settlement, it was too quiet. Like the eerie stillness and lifeless quiet of a forest before a storm or the way birds flee the shores as giant waves build far out in the sea.

It was endearing, the way he wanted to fill the silence. To try and let Ellie know that it’s okay to ramble, to say something even if it didn’t mean anything, even if it wasn’t serious. Breaking the precedent he had set nearly a year ago now as the weather slowly warms, the crisp air becomes easier to breathe. And through it all, the time that goes on and the time spent together, it’s…it’s healing in more ways than even you anticipated.

You keep that all in mind, picturing the small smile she had finally cracked the night before. It had ben genuine; it had been real. And it meant the world to you now, even as your feet lightly scuffed along the blown-up downtown streets of Salt Lake City. The old, faded road signs that lead you here swam in your minds eye. The milage it had taken to get here, not just from Colorado, but from Wyoming, from Kansas City, from Lincoln, from Boston.

Your feet were the only two walking among amidst the city, it had taken a lot of convincing for Joel to stay behind with Ellie. The reasoning that you knew Marlene, even if he did as well by proxy from his brother’s old involvement in the Fireflies and the smuggling scene that seemed to be the center of life so long ago. You knew her, the passion she had for this project, this idea, this cure. It was damaging, the way she had prattled on and on. Asked after medical books, after your knowledge, your own ideas on the matter.

But you knew better than to put hope where things were useless. At least with this instance. There was no cure, there would never be a cure. Only adaption, from both sides. The infection changing with the environment, the spores that hung over cities in large clouds and overtook the very air evidence enough, if the different types of hierarchal mutations it made to different bodies didn’t. Runner, clickers, bloaters, all of it was bad. The simple bite transfer of infection was bad. And now it was evolving, but so was humanity.

There was no hope for help from a cure. Blood was blood, no matter if it was immune or not. It was more than just creating one, by some medical miracle. Some medical breakthrough. It was about supplies, equipment, the ability to distribute, to reverse the ways humanity and society had evolved in wake of the Outbreak. You only hoped that throughout more years, decades, lifetimes, it would prove to be the superior substance over fungi. Even you weren’t sure of it, but that was where you placed your hope.

Not in a cure sought out by a woman who would do anything to kickstart her research with a ill-devised plan. One that included killing her only source of immune antibodies at first light, which you recalled seeing in her notes long ago. You weren’t sure what that meant, but it sure as hell entailed a lot of trial and error that would rob Ellie of any kind of life she knew, a lab rat would be her future.That any chance she had at building a case, a base, a starting point; that she would use it to the full potential and not squander it away.  

You had told Joel as much, sparing Ellie that particular detail as she already had lost her interest in Marlene’s cause. It was enough to convince the man to stay back, in the wilderness around the city and far enough away that even if someone had picked up your trail and backtracked, it would allow for them both to get away without any interaction or altercation. He had never trusted her, even less so now. There was no way in hell he would let her fall into the woman’s hands ever again.

He had a purpose, he admitted to you, after having lost himself after failing the last one. A confession of a family member you had known about but didn’t know the details. Didn’t need to know the details other than that the event plagued him and set him on the path that had allowed your own to cross with it He had found another one in protecting you and Ellie, is ensuring your survival and that of his brothers, Maria’s, their child now. The hot tears that had trailed down his exhausted face had melted your heart for the man even more. The simple phrase you once said without abandon bubbling up into your chest and throat, warming you from the inside out. But you hadn’t uttered it, too afraid of what was still yet to come.

In Jackson, you promised yourself. You would tell him when you made it back to Jackson, to relative safety. You would whisper it into his lips, his skin, the broadness of his shoulders, the slope of his softening middle, the thickness of his thighs and in between. You would say it with purpose once again, for the man who you had never anticipated seeing beyond glimpses in an overcrowded and under sources quarantine zone.

You can feel them all around you, still following you even after you had downed at least three of them. A disguised nudge in the right direction, some of them recognizing you, some of them knowing from orders to leave you be. Tracking behind you as you found the hospital, followed the fait signs that had been made to look worn and aged. But you knew better, knew how they operated even if you didn’t approve of it nor support it.

The woman was hunched over an entrance table of sorts, no doubt where they tried to keep track of who was entering and exiting the building they claimed for their own. She stiffened as the door opened and your boots echoed on the tile floor. Turning to look at you in disbelief, you could tell she hadn’t believed the reports over the comm lines that it was actually you.

But you sure as hell could believe it was her and you were pissed.

“Your men should know better than to try and corner me, Marlene.”

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[malewifesband]

it was not a shock to me that ppl shipped kabru and mithrun (toxic yaois great, plenty of ppl like antagonistic dynamics and wanting to see two characters who were at odds become close and align in their goals) what was a shock was that ppl didnt even see their relationship as antagonistic

like they didnt notice that kabru had been shackled and tied up. they didnt notice that once he loses his binds and rejoins the others fighting in support of laios, he does not go back to check on mithrun or his canaries. he only visits them again because laios wanted to ask mithrun for help, and kabru offered to negotiate for him if he was nervous. he gets mithrun back on his feet, but he isnt the one to make mithrun find value in being alive again--senshi does that. kabru doesnt talk to mithrun again, at least not in a capacity kui deems important for us to see. he spends his time at laios' table in the chapter cover, next to his own party early in the feast, and with toshiro on the last day; again, not with mithrun. kui suggests in a q&a that they probably eat together again, but its nothing like the way kabru is living with yaad, marcille, and laios and working with them in the post-canon; and in a lot of supplemental material hes choosing to spend time with rin and the rest of his party or with toshiro and laios

this isnt to say extra-canon and post-canon materials are the be-all-end-all, but they should inform the way we see the relationships in canon, how they develop and which ones the characters most cherish and which ones kui wanted us to focus on

theres nothing kabru does for mithrun that indicates kabru sees him as a friend and theres little to suggest mithrun sees him as much of a person, let alone a friend. pattadol is the one caretaking for mithrun in the post-canon, and shes the one whos there when he waxes about how he and marcille are lucky bc their loved ones can fill the gap the demon left them

and do not tell me about how mithrun trusted kabru at the end of 62, because that isnt what happens. mithrun had been asking him about laios since kabru threatened to kill them both, trying to locate the next prospective lord of the dungeon, and he sees an opportunity and seizes it. the next time we see kabru, hes shackled, and the canaries are moving in to interrogate laios and co. all kabru asked for was a chance to speak to laios, and that was specifically denied him until every canary was dead, incapacitated, or too busy fighting izutsumi to stop him. he was not being trusted--he was being used

[danaty-consolation]

Okay I am going to respond to this just once, so all the asks and comments about this topic will be ignored from now on.

Everyone is free to think, like and ship whatever they want, canon or fanon is there to make people happy, and everyone should respect each other opinions.

Now, I am going to be brutally honest here.

If we follow what you two say, that means Ryu is coded as bisexual, since she is attracted to women and men.

Ryu never had a positive male view in her life, Ataru, Mendou and her classmates? All perverts towards her. Her father? Had I even had to say how horrible he was in forcing his daughter to act and dress as a male just because his sick dream was having one?

Women are the only gender that see Ryu by who she is, a woman, not because of her body but also because of her as a person. They never tried to abuse her, they mostly showed her only kindness without any ulterior motives contrary to the men in her life.

So guess what? It makes sense for her to have her guard up with Nagisa after what he tried to do with her, even if he was pressured bc of a non-existent time limit it doesn't excuse his actions.

However later on, when they live together he is only respectful to her. No touching or hugging, the only time that that happens is because he is asleep, and he only has seen her changing or almost naked by accident.

But the thing here is that Nagisa is the one that tries to talk to her, and is only because Ryu is scared of him thanks to all the males in her life trying to use her in some way and Nagisa's past actions that make her wary of him. She thinks he is like other men and he deserves it because he acted like one of the men she knows.

Nevertheless, we see him actually being honest with her and respecting her wishes and feelings in the last scenes, ready to leave because he thought she hated him. Something that no men had done to her before.

The bar is in hell but at least Nagisa is trying and Ryu see's this.

He is already a better love interest that Konatsu and Tsubasa of Ukyo in Ranma 1/2.

Yes his introduction was late, but he at least received development with Ryu.

Canon or Fanon don't change a thing in fandoms, people love and support what they like.

And we should all respect each other opinions when they have valid arguments, being facts or preferences.

However, I did need to share my analysis because some people in the Urusei Yatsura fandom only saw the old anime and ova's without reading the manga so they may not know a lot of the context later on with Nagisa and Ryu. Heck, I didn't even expected for David pro to animate the one-night's battle chapters next week!

And if they still don't like it after reading my analysis, well good for them! It's totally understandable and I won't judge them or anything because we have different opinions!

The perfect character with flaws that follow the narrative most perfectly can have people who hate them! Some without reasons and some with valid reasons.

Maybe is because of the design? The personality? Something doesn't make people like them and that is okay!

People are free to block the users or tags, so they can still be happy and not ruin the fun of others.

I will keep loving Nagisa and shipping him with Ryu, because of the last analysis I made, some points I covered in this post, and because my opinion of them is really positive.

We are all grown-ups and if some are not, at least act as one for the fandom and to have a more healthy interaction and feed with everyone.

[kalolasfantasyworld]

Chapters 372, 373 comments

The comments were written as I was reading. I'll make another post with my overall opinion and analysis. These are live reactions 💕

Chapter 372

We’re starting with Nozel crashing down and Pablo coming to the rescue. CLASSIC. (Helena get over here and heal your husband please)

Thankfully Kahono and Kiato came in. I actually stumbled upon a post on twitter saying that BC mobile foreshadowed this a little, giving us both of them together. 

Moving on I love how they’re giving Noelle a way to fight. 

I’m really glad how Tabata’s showing us Acier’s spells. We didn’t really know about anything except her Valkyrie armor, so it’s great to see how they’re more “bird” related. 

Noelle and Acier are going all out. The fact that Acier is using water is interesting. Maybe it’s to show the similarities.

THE PANELS, THE ART. They’re amazing, we can see how dynamic this fight is and we can only dream how it will look animated.

Acier once again using an eagle and Noelle fighting her off with a dragon, amazing.

YES Solid and Nebra panels! They realise how powerful Noelle is and at the same time they’re terrified, they feel weak and we see them reflect on their actions, on their behaviour. 

I’m glad they realised their mistakes, but no you’re not wretched you were until you realised and tried to make it better.

They get inspired by their little sister and the inspiration trope goes on in BC.

Now once again the epic fight between Noelle and Acier. ART is at its peak here, the foreshortening, shadows, expressions.

And Acier nearly had her, but NEARLY, because SOLID my boy. 

I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of you! I knew you had it in you!

Nebra fights as well! She’s terrified, but she’s not giving up! 

“It isn’t the weak who should be embarrassed. It’s the ones who STAY WEAK!”

YES YES EXACTLY

And they want to atone, want to make a fresh start and want to BECOME A FAMILY!.

All I ever wanted from BC was this last panel. 

Thank yous so much Tabata. The four of them. You made it so beautiful.

I’m extremely grateful I stuck around in the fandom to witness this.

Also hey Nozel you’re up and back in the fight!

Chapter 373

“Take care of the rest for us… SILVAS!!” 

I’m not sobbing guys, no not at all.

Nebra using her strength and covering everything so that they can talk.

Ohhh I love how the next panel kind of flashes back to when he said that she’s a Royal and she has to come protect the capital with him!

Same motifs everyone. Amazing.

Nozel is finally guiding Noelle and teaching her. I wonder what would had happened if he did that since the beginning, but well we’ll never know. Good he’s making up for it now.

Acier comes back and they need more time, Noelle needs more time for this attack. I know what’s coming. Nozel relaying on others! Character development.

“Big brothers exist to protect their siblings!!”

Nozel you’re making me cry 😭😭😭 I’m so proud of you. 

AND yes he’s changing his style, he’s learning, evolving. DEFENCE.

DAMN, so I saw that panel earlier… but I’m still looking… respectfully…

NEW SPELL, I already made Helena make dirty jokes about it… 😂

But honestly even though he looks exactly like the Silver surfer and he had that surfing scene in during the captains’ battle. I LOVE IT. 

And see guys Nozel has some lean muscle, my drawings and descriptions are accurate.

And he kind of got an armor.

I’m discontinuing simping right now.

He’s buying them time! They obviously worry, but how badass that is.

I love how determined Solid and Nebra are here. 

“Solid and I will support your spell!!”

YES Nebra! Good job girl!

They will help, they will support you Noelle.

Maintaining that spell does hurt. I head canon that Nozel has some immunity to his magic in a way that he can control it a bit from not hurting him, but nonetheless it is hurting him. Mercury is poisonous.

However he fights through it now, he goes against his mother, doing his best to buy time for his siblings.

Nebra and Solid have a hard time, it’s hurting them, but they don’t speak they’re focused and they will help her. On the contrary they tell her to push forward. Such amazing development. We can also see their repentance. They know they were wrong and they’re trying to make up for it in these crucial moments.

I saw this panel in @thoughtfullyrainynightmare’s colorings and I LOVE it so much! Nozel and his punishment are very dramatic. He looks so good here!!! (Simp mode is back)

However what he SAYS is so much more important, what he wishes to achieve. He believes in his goal, he will atone and be able to rebuild to heal the bonds in his family.

Okay this is going to be heavy. I just know it.

Noelle doesn’t want to hurt Nebra and Solid. 

CONFESSIONS

I knew it 

😭😭😭

I always head canoned that Nebra was jealous of that and now it’s confirmed. It’s so brave of her to confess it now.

Solid also was jealous, the same magic attribute and Noelle was just more powerful. He was scared, scared to be weaker than Noelle, which he ended up being (self fulfilling prophecy everyone).

But they are SORRY!

And this means to Noelle more than anything.

She charges her magic, as Nozel continues the fight! Spectacular.

(I haven’t red Jojo, but it’s a mojo looking panel) once again I’m so impressed by the movement and just how amazingly Tabata can show the action.

The spell crashes Acier’s eagle.

“It’s a shame, but I got to see my children all grown up and strong As a mother, I’m satisfied!”

Acier despite being an evil paladin is the one of the best mothers’ in BC.

She’s proud of them (me too girl me too)

“You took the long way round, but you’ve finally become a family, haven’t you?”

Yes they have.

[tequiilasunriise]

Wenclair is great as goth x pastels, sunshine x storm cloud, black cat x golden retriever, sun and moon life and death yin and yang etc etc etc-

BUT!

Have y’all considered how perfectly their vibes encapsulate:

✨ao3 gf x wattpad gf✨

Headcanons below! This got super long sorry not sorry!

Enid is SO a trashy unapologetic wattpad writer who uses text to speech to throw together her surprisingly popular fanfics

Wednesday is a sophisticated ao3 user who secretly enjoys getting constructive criticism of her novels and other short stories that she posts there

Enid is the typa author to reply to EVERY comment with heartfelt messages and plenty of emojis

Wednesday is the typa author to never reply to comments but deep down enjoys the kudos and compliments

Enid is a oneshot funshot queen, meanwhile Wednesday has several multi-chapter works going on at the same time

Enid has a super spontaneous updating schedule where she’ll post when she posts

Wednesday updates her works every Wednesday (on the nose I know) and follows a STRICT schedule, she has never missed an update day not fer anything ever

Enid prolly has a cutesy username like ‘kittygotclaws’ or smth idk I dont go on wattpad

Wednesday goes by ‘DaysEnd’ on ao3 and REALLY it's quite on the nose

Everyone knows of Enid's wattpad acc bc she openly talks about it even on her blog, everytime a fic hits some sorta milestone she flexes it to the whole friend group like some sorta proud soccer mom

Wednesday is SUPER SECRETIVE about her ao3 acc, Thing is the only soul who knows of it bc he helps beta read

DaysEnd being a rising ao3 fan favorite amongst the Nevermore student body omg so true so slay of you Miss Addams (she tells Thing she does not care for such popularity but deep down revels in people actually appreciating her work, unlike some publishers out there)

They really like her strong imagery, plot twists, and her stories are pretty gore-heavy but the narration is quite compelling (seriously, she goes so in depth on random macabre shit like different types of murders, ways to cover up said murders, poisons and upkeep on daggers and all this dark shit etc etc that a popular comment she’ll get is ‘hey not to be rude but whats your search history like because how do you KNOW all this??’)

Meanwhile Enid mainly writes fanfics of her fav kpop bands and other OTPs that are often AUs or canon divergent heavy, sometimes she’ll pop off with the most hilarious fanfic that is pure CRACK

That being said, Enid’s works have some pretty damn good dialogue I just know it in my bones that she’s a character driven type of writer

Her emotional introspection is also? Surprisingly good?? Like damn when the feels hit they HIT, Enid is definitely the type to write the fluffest fluff, the angstiest angst, and the most cathartic hurt/comfort you’ll ever read if you make the conscious decision to look past her occasional grammatical errors and other typos

Wednesday’s original works, on the other hand, definitely aren't as much of a heartthrob, they’re probably more plot driven with less space for overly descriptive emotional scenes (both writing styles are valid as hell, mind you)

One day Enid discovers Wednesday’s secret ao3 and lives to tell the tale because deep down Miss Addams is a GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY

In exchange for keeping hush hush, Wednesday has to become Enid’s full-time beta reader for every. Single. Fic.

Wednesday HATES such drivel but agrees to such terms in order to keep her secret safe, much to Thing’s teasing delight over how soft she is for her fellow writer (“For producing such literary muck, she does not even deserve the privilege to tarnish such a title.” “I know what you are, Wednesday.” “What kind of threat is that?”)

I mean that being said, Wednesday gets low key invested in the sapphic otp fanfics Enid seems to have a penchant for writing when the fic isn’t kpop centered, her interest stems from uh nooooo reassooonnn noshutupThingthisdoesntmeananything-

When Enid brings up branching out to writing about OCs like Wednesday does-

Wednesday hates fandom terms like ‘OCs’ btw

-Wednesday encourages Enid to branch out in a very… Wednesdayish way

Like, she’s supportive but you gotta unpeel at least three layers of deflection and deadpanning to get to the real meaning

So yeah!! Enid branches out and starts writing silly little oneshots about various OCs, and if Wednesday notes that all of the stories revolve around gay characters, and if Thing notices how invested Wednesday gets in these silly little sapphics to point where he keeps commenting on it….

Andddd that’s the story of how Enid came back to the dorm with Thing being locked up in the drawer while Wednesday is burying her face in her pillow in what looks like a half-hearted attempt of suffocating herself

Anyways Wednesday’s repressed ass starts to ‘vent’ in her fanfics, if people start noticing DaysEnd incorporating more romance into their works no they don't stfu

It gets to the point where she ‘confesses’ to Enid by having Viper confesses to this new bubbly character that was recently introduced (“These feelings you have plagued me with, you make me sick,” said Viper, “And for my sake, I hope there is no cure.”)

Enid, with a lot I mean a metric fuckton of persuasion from Thing, eventually picks up on this and confesses back

Cue Wednesday beta reading Enid’s latest wattpad work and noticing how it’s about two polar opposite roomates who somehow make it work, and when the cheery one says to the gloomy one, “I also hope there’s no cure for the way I feel about you” it suddenly all clicks for Wednesday

Anyways fanfic gfs who slay together stay together <333

[forerussake]

Hiiiii sorry i know it's been ages since you wrote "a hand within a hand, holding light" but i thought of it randomly today and then wondered - are there any povs/perspectives you had thought of that didn't make it into the final story? Like maybe from one of Shen Wei's classmates or something? Just, are there any othet perspectives you had thought of exploring or that you'd like to explore now? 👀 👀

Also what gave you the idea for exploring Shen Wei's character through multiple different outside povs? It's such a cool and fun (and slightly painful) concept, but something I never would've thought of doing

Ohhh anon don't be sorry! It makes me so so so happy t hear people are still thinking about and enjoying my older fics :) And tbh a year ago is not even that long! I still think about a hand within a hand sometimes myself :)

As to your questions:

It's not the answer you wanted to hear maybe, but I didn't actually create any more OCs than I needed for the fic. My planning doc consisted of first only the different periods of Shen Wei's life that I wanted to cover (pre-kunlun, during Kunlun times, post-waking etc.) and then slowly started to gain vague descriptions of the people who would be the POV characters. But for a long time no more than e.g. "struggling Haixingren student" for Liu Chang and "Dixing palace archivist" for Hu Mingxia. I developed their characters and names and backstories only as I got to their chapter, and only really while writing. I had a vague idea of what role I wanted them to play in Shen Wei's life, and I also wanted them all to be people who couldn't have been logically swapped out for any canon character. So Jing Qiannan became a student counsellor instead of a fellow student, bc for that moment in time I wanted someone who wasn't Chen Xinyan, and also someone in a role of authority, but who wasn't professor Zhou. So you see how these characters came to be :)

I do really like the idea of more outside POV work of Shen Wei's fellow students, or perhaps his colleagues. Now that I'm thinking about it I think a kaleidoscope-style fic about Shen Wei's developing academic career and the slow but steady construction of his modern life and support system would be very fun to write! I also always like to think about the experiences of Dixingren living topside :)

As for what gave me the idea... I don't know anon... I really enjoy writing outsider POV. I think it's a super fun vehicle for character study. Characters thinking about themselves can deceive themselves, but an outsider will notice and think and feel things about a character that can be really interesting and revealing. I think this works especially well for Shen Wei because he is so secretive. He is so closed-off about his feelings and thoughts, and I thought it would be really fun to put him in situations where other people notice things about him and can prick through that bubble of secrecy at least a little bit, by virtue of being outsiders who are ultimately (at least so it seems) incosequential to the timeline. I hope that answer makes sense hahah!

Thanks for this ask anon, I LOVE talking about my writing and the thought processes behind it :))))) This was really fun to think about <333

[loosesodamarble]

A self-indulget, OC-centric addendum

So this is my addendum to by BC chapters 374-376 post and I will be talking about how my oc, Josele, fits into the situation that played out in those chapters.

So for anyone who isn’t aware Josele is my main Black Clover and is shipped with both Nacht and Morgen. Yes, you read that right. See, I can't pick a favorite between the two so Josele gets both.

So I want to start with a overview of the relationship dynamic between Nacht, Morgen, and Josele.

Josele's role in Morgen and Nacht’s lives is in a similar vein to Yami: she is a shared friend to the twins that keep them in proximity and gives them an indirect connection to each other. Except well, Josele is a romantic interest to both Nacht and Morgen. 

Like any good romantic interest character, Josele is someone that sees a different side of the Fausts that others don’t see. For Morgen, she doesn’t see him as a perfect man but as a normal person trying their best and dealing with the assumptions made about him. She shows Morgen the care that he gives others and lets him indulge in his selfish wishes (namely their romantic relationship). For Nacht, Josele sees past his delinquency to know that he is nicer than he lets on and lonelier than he admits. She gives Nacht her time to soothe his loneliness as best she can and thanks him for small acts of kindness he does show.

The fact that both Nacht and Morgen love Josele is another means of characterizing them. Because their feelings affect them in vastly different ways. Morgen’s love is something freeing to him; with Josele, there are no grand expectations for him to live up to and so he allows himself to love her as openly as he can, not for anyone else but just the two of them. Morgen loving Josele builds him up. For Nacht, his feelings are a burden to him. He compares himself to Morgen, seeing himself as undeserving of loving Josele or being loved by her, so he feels guilty about his love and hides it. Nacht’s love for Josele further tears him down.

Don’t worry, Josele isn’t just giving to Nacht and Morgen, they give back to her. While Josele sees deeper parts of the Fausts, the twins bring out the parts of Josele that she would’ve been hesitant to show on her own. She used to be a shy girl but the twins’ friendship brought out the spirited and loving heart that had been hiding. Morgen’s love made Josele’s hope and romanticism stronger. And Nacht was key in breaking the curse Josele had placed on her heart.

With the general overview of Josele and the Fausts’ relationship covered, now to talk about Josele’s place in the actual chapters.

Now of course, I would have Josele join in on the battle. I would have to be insane to put her anywhere else during the arc. Heck, I already have Morgen stepping away from the battlefield to reunite with her. So he just has to pick her up and fly back to Clover’s capital where she and Yami can team up to (try) and fight Morgen. Josele and Morgen were together and even got engaged before Morgen’s death. She blamed herself for being unable to save him. Morgen’s return as a Paladin leaves Josele’s conflicted—a part of her wishing he could stay alive and a part of her knowing that him returning to death is the right thing—but she’d still bring herself to fight him. But even with Josele at her best and working with Yami, it’s not enough to beat Morgen.

If/when I find time to write this, I’d have Morgen hesitate to hurt Josele because the part of the real him that loves her is present. But he’d eventually fall under the sway of Lucius’s brainwashing and go for a near-kill. Morgen would unleash a devastating attack and leave Josele to either rethink her decision to stand against Lucius or die. Nacht and Ichika would then enter the fray. Ichika still goes to her brother obviously. But I still have to figure out whether Nacht goes to Josele to help her back on her feet or to try stalling Morgen and the Lucius clone as he does in canon. I can reason myself in either direction but that’s for my brain, not this post. Anyways, with all five combatants (Morgen, Nacht, Yami, Ichika, and Josele) on the field, the true battle commences.

Now that’s just the plot-related things that Josele gets up to. There’s more going on with her thematically.

Josele does stick out as an only child in a battle of siblings (the Yami siblings working together and the Fausts working against each other). But she still has her place. 

Josele joins Yami and Nacht as another who lost Morgen. She is more like Nacht in that Morgen’s death weighs heavy on her and she sees Paladin Morgen as just Morgen, the one she loves, and not as Lucius’s puppet. But she still has her own distinct stance in the fight. Where Yami quickly accepts Morgen as the enemy and Nacht needs a moment to himself to prepare his resolve, Josele fights with hesitation as she wishes the situation was different. That Morgen could’ve come back as himself. A futile desire but it’s what’s on her mind.

Something else about Josele, Yami, and Nacht is their relation to time. For starters, how the loss of Morgen affects the three of them can be associated with a point in time (past, present, and future). Nacht lost the brother he had all his life (past). Yami lost the friend and partner he was working with at the time (present). And Josele lost her fiance and the life they hoped to share (future). The trio dynamic is then changed after that. Nacht still represents the past, past sins always on his mind and influencing his actions. But Yami and Josele switch the present and future. I do say that Yami has his thoughts in the present, but I see his character being more about working towards the future, he’s in the present but doesn’t linger there, pushing forward instead. After all, when he left Hino he didn’t say anything like “don’t know what I’ll do now” but talks about how he’ll get stronger and eventually see Ryuuya again. Yami is a man with the future in mind. As for Josele, she only went through the motions day-to-day due to her curse. She couldn’t recall her past or consider her future. Even after breaking her curse, she doesn’t focus on the past or future, instead dedicating herself to fully living in the present world she’s regained. 

I never actually intended to create this time-based trinity for the three survivors but when I realized it, it made me giddy, knowing how well Josele could fit into the dynamic Yami and the Fausts already have.

While not as deep, there’s also connections she has with Ichika. Like Ichika, Josele faced a tragedy and misattributed the blame of it, except she blamed herself instead of another the way Ichika did. Yami also makes sure both women have someone to watch their back when they get left by someone they love. Yami had to leave Ichika in Ryuuya’s care and when Nacht left for Spade Kingdom, Yami was the one who took care of Josele. I love that with Josele, Yami can do the same thing that Ryuuya did for him, and do it for Nacht. A chain of friends helping each other, you know! Again, unintentional but awesome connection!

Sin. Punishment. Atonement. Those are the main themes that Nacht’s character centers on. An idea that’s not as prominent but still related to Nacht’s arc is that of forgiveness. Long story short: while he did seek atonement, Nacht avoided forgiveness despite it not being his place to ask for it or deny it if it’s given to him. In their dynamic, Josele is the forgiver and Nacht is the forgiven (despite not asking for it and even rejecting it for a time). Josele forgives Nacht to lessen his guilt and suffering. Still, she knows that it’s ultimately up to Nacht to forgive himself and release the last of his pain. Only… Nacht has determined that he will hold onto his pain forever.

The pain of losing Morgen and the guilt of taking his life are with Nacht forever. It’s something that Josele wholly accepts, as she will love every part of him. And she does know, at least partially, what it’s like. Josele’s grief over Morgen and (incorrectly) thinking herself responsible for not saving him are also part of her. A physical representation of that ever-present grief is seen in the effects that her curse and devil contract have on her magic.

So during the battle against Morgen, Josele will get a moment with Nacht. Yami would’ve already said that Nacht has to be the one to stop Morgen (and I mean as the one borrowing anti-magic it really does have to be him). But Josele will tell Nacht that she won’t allow him to suffer forever on his lonesome. If Nacht is going to do kill Morgen, she will commit to the same sin.

“Shoulder the pain if you must,” Josele would tell him, “but let me take on the burden with you. We’re in this together. I am your wife, after all.”

Nacht can’t argue. There’s no time for arguing on the battlefield. And Nacht can’t deny Josele’s resolve. So he nods and agrees.

Josele will end up adding a bit of her own magic to the combo spell Nacht, Yami, and Ichika already have going. With her adding her Emotion Magic, I’ll call the spell “Dreadful Walpurgis Night.”

With the combo spell fired off, Nacht and Josele would close in and send off Morgen. They kill him, but it is out of love for him and the man they know him to be. Morgen’s spirit would be set free and he would say goodbye to his brother and his beloved, relieved that they are able to truly be together in both love and pain.

Once again, Nacht and Josele are forced to grieve Morgen. Morgen’s first death was followed by the two of them growing apart, as Nacht thoughtlessly accused Josele of not saving Morgen and ran away in regret. This time, however, Nacht and Josele are both taking the blame and will be there to comfort each other through it.

(Also, Yami will make sure they don’t stay mopey on the battlefield for long. And Ichika will wonder what the hell the situation is between Josele and the twins.)

And that concludes my self-indulgent addendum to my original post about chapters 374-376! I know that this being centered on my own oc means that not many people will be interested in it. But I wrote this for myself, so it doesn’t really matter if anyone else shows interest. Writing this post has made me love Black Clover more, made me love the Fausts more, and made me love Josele more so I’m glad I went through with it!

But, to those of you who cared enough to read, thank you for your time. Hopefully you got something out of me talking about my girl Josele and her place in these chapters and with the characters involved.

[aliceinclockland]

COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO CARDCAPTOR HIGH AU IN THE WORKS (i wake up at literally 1am here for work pls hav mercy) BUT.

IMAGINE CARDCAPTOR CHARACTERS DISCOVER THE ENTIRE CCS MANGA AND READS IT THEMSELVES?

this has been inspired by a twitter post bc that tweet made my rusty brain start working again. thank u to that person (and to cinzia's wonderful drawing of yunaaki 🥺🥺)

okay so what I'm thinking as a backstory is that this is post clear card arc (incl. special chapter).

the Kinomotos are doing some spring cleaning in the Fujitaka library basement and then Sakura discovers these books (im thinking the collectors edition) that has a simple, yet captivating cover... and also happens to be magical?

just by seeing the book, sakura feels a little magic in the book, and what surprised her is that its very faint but she can recognize that it is hers.

she then asks her father about it and he just shrugs, saying that he doesn't remember how, where and when did he get them from. Sakura then asks permission to read the books, and she does.

the two then starts reading the books together, until they finished the first book.

um... actually, she didn't read the book... yet.

she contacted tomoyo, asking her if she published a book about their adventures (just like how tomoyo published the video for the animated series to happen).

tomoyo's response is no, and asked her why did she think she did... well, the cover looks like an uncanny illustration of sakura and her parents in the first serialization (cue the infamous Tomoyo reaction "my!")

few minutes later someone rings the doorbell for the kinomotos and fujitaka was surprised to see tomoyo , as sakura hasn't informed him that she'll come by and visit.

they brought the book to school and made everyone see it in lunchtime. naoko volunteered to read it first and remarks that the illustration looks so much like sakura a day after, and that the book is really good and was drawn well. then chiharu and yamazaki took it home to read and said the same thing naoko said. then it was syaoran's turn.

akiho also was informed about this book and asked kaito whether it was part of the books that went to the kinomoto library when sakura removed the book from kaito's soul— kaito said it was a possibility, and is now as intrigued as akiho and wants to read it themselves.

the question would be: would they be intrigued enough to go back to Tomoeda to borrow the book and examine it?

well, color everyone surprised when they saw sakura walk to school WITH akiho a couple of days after the "book fiasco" (everyone forgot about it very quickly).

they've all made some small talks before class starts, and akiho walks around thr faculty to also do some paperworks while they're still in tomoeda.

kaito on the other hand is bringing their stuff to the hiiragizawa mansion (my canon is that eriol gave them a key so they have a temporary home whenever they wanted to visit— bc he knows they will do so when they have a proper excuse for it + akiho's book collection is still in the "basement", safe and sound).

syaoran then sends kaito a picture of the book— still in his possession, bc he needed more time to read it (in other words he wanted his mother to know if there's anything that's going to cause his girl any harm and wanted to be prepared), kaito immediately recognizes it as one of the books that went to the basement when sakura did the deed. he then facetimes syaoran to confirm the suspicions, but also clarifies that it's not the blank book but rather, the book that was once called "alice in clockland". (i miss momo so momo definitely must have a mention here).

you might be asking, "how the hell can kaito CONFIDENTLY facetime syaoran?" well another headcanon i have is that eriol occasionally calls the two during their world tour, just to check up on them, and give them some advices and guidance on their trip (he— eriol— also reports to sakura about how they are doing). kaito feels uncomfortable answering those calls at first and lets akiho set his phone up so that the two of them will be in view as eriol tells kaito that he needs to get used to modern technology because "you'll need it one day".

also their phones are from the one and only, Tomoyo Daidouji. tomoyo sends them prototypes, with all of the tomoeda people's numbers saved in there. the two actually keep all of the gadgets tomoyo mails to them and akiho enjoys using them everyday that she can.

back to present, kaito explains to syaoran that the clockland book was used to record sakura and akiho's life, so he can cast the spell where he could incorporate akiho seamlessly into sakura's life without anyone "sensing any discrepancies". that explains why the book's characters are much alike from their counterparts in real life, including the physical description, but they're not sharing their real names with the characters.

akiho then comes home to the sight of the two facetiming each other, and said hi to syaoran on the other line. she then did the same but with sakura, and the two just talked about everything (by everything i mean EVERYTHING— sakura telling akiho what she learned in school, what recipes she's been learning, her magical experiences, etc., and akiho tling sakura all of the places she and kaito have visited, what books she have read, the culture of the country where they were, and also showed some sovenirs she got (aside from the books she's currently putting on her library)

they then talked about the book, and how sakura felt that the book was her, but wonders why the character doesn't share the same name as her real life self. akiho then explains how important someone's name is and reminded her that she only told her real name to sakura after everything that went down. they then chatted about what name would be perfect as an "alias" for sakura...

i honestly would've written way more if my brain didn't stop braining just after i wrote the last paragraph smh...

I'm planning to do this as an ao3 series but i still need to work on my wordings and grammar bc i am bye-lingual 🙃

that's it today byeeeee~ see y'all after a few months 😭

[actual-bill-potts]

and all his towers cast down makes me jumpy in the best of ways. I am not usually an AU person, much less an enjoyer of this sort of extreme canon divergence, but this one really works for me. Can you talk a little about what motivated you to write it? Have you sorted out the endgame yet? That tag How to cope when ten ppl got eaten alive in front of u is so rich in potential! Thanks very much :)

adfkldsajk thank you so much for this ask, my answer is going under a cut cuz it's gonna be LONG

first off thank you so much for your kind words, it always makes my day to hear that someone is enjoying my work!!

Second off, this AU was motivated by a variety of things. Some of my thought process is actually laid out in this post: I originally wanted to see Maglor and Lúthien girlbossing together (bc people always pit Daeron vs Maglor when Lúthien is clearly the superior singer...) and then I thought "omg I bet Maglor and Lúthien together would fuck up Angband" and then I thought I have to write this. Originally Finrod wasn't even going to play much of a role - rescuing him was just a catalyst for the plot!

But I am Finrod's #1 stan and the more I thought about his death/possible rescue, the more I realized just how much fell apart with his loss, and how cruel his death was. The guy most famous for having friends everywhere rode near-friendless to his ending and died after losing everyone who stuck with him. I decided: he deserved better, and thus the story took its current form, with one thread following Maedhros and Fingon dealing with the political fallout of the Nargothrond debacle, one thread following Beren, Luthien, and Maglor on the Silmaril Quest, and one thread following Finrod's recovery.

I have sorted out the endgame, although this fic continues to grow in scope. Originally it was going to be 10 chapters max and just feature Maglor stealing the Silmarils; now it is semi-plotted all the way through to the War of Wrath and I'm considering starting a series to fully cover all the themes I want to hit. Suffice to say this story is going to be going on for a very long time, haha.

I am proud of that tag you mentioned, because for all that Finrod wasn't initially supposed to feature that prominently in this AU, I think the tag sums up at least a third of what I want the story to be about. Finrod's story is particularly tragic to me because he loses so much of what defines him as a character in Tol-in-Gaurhoth. He's the Friend of Men, but nearly all of the Bëorians died in the Dagor Bragollach, and Finrod dies believing that he was unable to protect the one remaining descendant of Balan. He's a noted diplomat, but with one request Thingol has entirely torn apart any future hope of complete allyship/harmony between the Noldor and the Sindar. He's the King of Nargothrond, except the Nargothrondrim turned away from him. He went across the Ice for love of his cousins, but Turgon is gone and the Fëanorians betrayed him. The symbolism isn't subtle - he literally dies in the tower he built, that's been turned to evil and destruction...

So what I really want to explore in the Finrod part of this fic is: how would that have changed him, if he lived? Could he recover, from being torn apart so thoroughly? Would he want to? What would he choose to do about the whole Thingol situation, about Nargothrond, about the Union of Maedhros (should it arise)? And of course, there's one person who underwent a similar experience of being torn apart and unmade: what would Maedhros think about all of this? Would he be able to help?

Writing this story has been a true joy and a discovery, because the characters have come so fully alive in my head and I keep discovering things they would be concerned about/do/say that never occurred to me during my (minimal) outlining. For example, Beren was not initially even intended as a POV character, but he's such a fascinating kind of blank in the Lay that I felt an overwhelming curiosity about what he would have thought about in the wake of his rescue. Fingon wasn't really going to make an appearance in this fic, but then I thought - he surely helped with Maedhros' recovery, could he help with Finrod's? How would he respond to the Nargothrond debacle? And he must have been devastated to learn about Finrod's death, coming so close after he lost Angrod, Aegnor, and his father; how relieved he would be, to see Finrod at least saved! So there are many threads that emerged (and are still emerging) from this story that have been so much fun to weave into the narrative.

Thank you again for the question, and I hope you continue to enjoy the fic! <3 <3 <3

[bbina]

honest review but at the same time not so honest review of Between The Lines bc I’m an F!! Part 1, the writing portion

— btl touched on one of my fav tropes which is def why it had me hooked, but it also played the trope out differently in the sense that fake dating is mostly difficult to continue imo as “where do I go from here?” pops up in a lot of people heads, but you progressed btl perfectly!!

— some parts were a littleeeeeee rushed but it was difficult to tell as the situation got covered by major events or slower endings, yknow?

— in the future I feel like the social media chapters could be a LITTLEEE longer imo, most writers might overdo cliff hangers which can be repetitive and annoying to readers but I genuinely like the way you do it. I also think that some tips from a very (overachieving) English student is to really focus on what you want the reader to take away from a certain chapter, like what’s the big idea yknow? I LOVEE how natural and real your soc media posts felt bc there wasn’t a lot o unnatural detail from the characters just to drive the plot forward. I also enjoyed the irl scenes too!!

—🌷

HONEST REVIEW TIMEEEEEE 🔊

ur right about fake dating tropes is one of the difficult tropes to write especially when the climax hits cus once they start catching real feelings, now what? luckily i managed to pull through !!

yeah there were a few chapters that were rushed solely because of the 9 pictures per post via mobile rule tumblr has on mobile and i'm not much of a big fan of 10+ pictures per chapter idk its just a personal preference so i do admit on rushing some scenes or having filler scenes just to fill the 9 pics mark!

okay lowkey i got a lil nervous when i was putting out too much cliffhangers but then again,, if i post a cliffhanger then something big is gonna happen the next chapt so 😭

ALSO FOR THE PART WHERE U SAY THERE WASNT A LOT OF UNNATURAL DETAILS... i try to incorporate what the guys like irl (based on what they share on wv, content, etc) if this was a manga im talking about canon facts about each character so thank you for noticing this!!!!!

[wlwinry]

🖍️♻️🤔 for super graphic ultra modern girl !!!

super graphic ultra modern girl my BELOVED im halfway through writing chapter eight and we are finally about to start some self-reflection

🖍 - post any sentence from your wip

“The Ball,” she gasps, and she’s never out of breath as Faye Luna, being Faye Luna is effortless, but she feels mortal and terrified and desperate. “The Ball, are you alright?”

♻️ - a scrapped idea for your current WIP

i was originally gonna have a scene in riz's office where fabian sees a conspiracy board dedicated to faye luna and figuring out what her deal is/WHO she is and just. does such a bad job of covering for herself. riz is very quick to suspect her mostly because she sees it and goes "oh no" out loud and fails to play it off. that's been scrapped in favor of riz actually encountering her while transformed!

🤔 - what’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

so this is. embarrassing. but i was binging the early seasons of the vampire diaries this weekend bc i had jack shit to do and i remembered fabian fought that wild vampire dude in the black pit and went. yknow. we get a lot of werewolf adaine stories and i totally get why, it was a MUCH closer call for her, it could have happened in canon much more easily but here's the thing: i love fabian and i love throwing him into metaphorical walls. so. vampire fabian. also he keeps talking about blood in sophomore year and ATE RAW VULTURE ORGANS LAST EPISODE. SO.

ask me wip questions!

[grellestie]

i know i've been dead silent for a bit but i feel like posting random takes and thoughts <3

-> UNDERAPPRECIATED THING- i love how the musicals all interpret ciel's backstory before we learned that he has a twin. i think the closest was lycoris that blazes the earth? it's something my friend pointed out to me and i just think it's neat!

-> i kind of prefer elements from the anime red butler arc instead of the manga bc i feel like it doesn't really have too much going on but i feel like combing lizzie's arc to it made it really work better since it made it less slow (IN MY OPINION <3). i also love actual characterization with butler grelle and how grelle's acting chops are more shown instead of her just. standing there like a REALLY OBVIOUS MURDERER and going :o

-> i dont think "yana broke all the rules that ronald knox made when it comes to mysteries" should be a flex because like. yeah some of them are stupid but making the background character nobody would have guessed be the murderer? giiiirl.

-> i feel like the weston college arc was a HORRIBLE way to follow up the campania arc. like yes. f slur college right after dropping the biggest bombshell (not really since the anime literally called it) in the series and planting so many theories just to go "look at these ctrl+c ctrl+v men!". i feel an arc just taking a minute to relax before going to the homophobia* college would have been a better route.

*i knowww that it's supposed to be a word used to like... describe a student serving another student but... cmon. if a demon can wear heels, a reaper have a chainsaw and another one have a lawnmower, why does THAT part have to be the thing that HAS to be realistic?

-> i hid this in the tags of a post once but im gonna say this one out loud. i reaaaally don't think butler grelle is supposed to be grelle when she was alive. the character traits were given to her in the anime and the anime isn't canon. also to mention, younger grelle being proven to be sooort of canon with the tie in with the Reaper OVA and the chapter with othello? and why would she go from looong hair to short back to long? it just doesn't really make sense to me personally but yk! it's a neat headcanon!! but i dont think it's a really plausible theory :(

-> ALSO SOMEONE BROUGHT THIS UP A LOOOONG TIME AGO BUT IM STILL THINKING ABT IT- how long is grelle's hair?? in her butler disguise, her hair isn't as long and yeah it is tied up but that shouldn't affect the length. it's something i think a lot abt (obvi) ever since that person brought it up.

-> this isnt a take and more just a plea... CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE DS GAME MORE? it's just such a underrated part of black butler (from what i've seen) but it honestly looks like a really solid game?

if you have no idea what im talking about, heres the cover for the game and theres some footage on yt!

also if you happen to find the .iso file for it, please send it to me. i will liveblog the entire thing because it's just such an underrated part of black butler and i'll take the bullet (assuming if it's a bad game) to play it.

[schrijverr]

Heyy.. 'situation' anon here, I'll never pass up an opportunity to send an ao3 author i like asks on their authority so here i am again

🫖,🎵,🕸,📚 - sorry if thats too many lol, i was indecisive

also... while I'm here... ill publicly humiliate myself a little under the cover of anon and ask for your opinion of bobney/chobby/chimbobby ?

hello, situation anon! What a delight that you're back, thank you so much for the ask <333 And that's totally not too many, I love being enabled to talk, ask my partner, I will not stop xp

🫖: If you had a tea party with your blorbos you write the most, how would it go?

The writer in me, wants to go; god how would they react to suddenly appearing somewhere with a random stranger and tea? lmao. Rn im writing a lot of 9-1-1 and I feel like if the situation was plausible, they'd be chill, but I would 100% be too awkward about it omg. But I'd love to pick their brains about the work they do and I think they'd be okay answering questions. However, I don't think I'd want it to happen, bc the most plausible situation is me having an emergency haha

🎵: Do you create playlists for your fics?

I'm probably about to admit to being a total weirdo, bc I like my silence. Yup, I'm not a huge music person and I usually work and write in silence, no background noise, no music. So, usually no. I don't make playlists for my fic. I have for one, but that's an unposted Leverage fic (it's my lesbian nb, bisexual Eliot fic that goes from childhood love with Aimee through Damien Moreau to falling in love with Parker and Hardison, which I posted an abandoned first draft off) But overall, no, no playlists

🕸: Do you outline? How detailed?

My outlining usually consists of me jotting down future vague outline ideas and little snippets I might want to incorporate as I go along, just chilling at the bottom of my docx, along with things to remember like timelines or details I wanna come back to. I'm more a freestyler when it comes to writing. Nine times out of ten, I'll come up with a fun scene I wanna write and then go: 'huh, now how will i get there?' and kind of go from there.

Like, the I do verse that I'm posting right now, exist, because I wanted to write one scene in what is now chapter 30, then came up with a how would I get there and then that got out of hand, lmao. I followed the show, which gave me some hand holds, but I mostly let the characters take the wheel xp

📚: What are some of the favorite things you've learned while doing research?

Oef, I researched a bunch of weird things throughout the years (and subsequently forgot about most of them lmao). Idk if it counts, but I have this pocket of poetry I bought, bc I gave it to one of my characters as a gift and then I got curious, ended up using one of the poems in the fic itself too, so that was a lot of fun. I also felt like a huge nerd while doing so. But not as badly as that time I gave a fic a bibliography of historical accuracy and what I made up.

Honestly, most of the time I end up in niche things and with wikis open for fics I have never posted. I researched boxing techniques for a leverage fic I never wrote, as well as dentures for another unwritten leverage fic. But nothing concrete springs to mind right now

Your opinion of bobney/chobby/chimbobby ?

Oeh, that is a fun one, I never considered the ship before now. Admittedly, I had something against Bobby when I first started watching, but he's grown on me. However, him and Chim aren't my go to's for this fandom. And I love the canon ships they're a part of, so I wouldn't say I ship them myself. But they have an interesting dynamic, so I can see it. Like when Chim admits that he remembers his accident in season 1? That scene got to me.

Like, I can imagine that Chimney is the primary person that pulled Bobby into the fold when he first started there. He makes himself the comic relief and he would totally embrace the upgrade from Gerrard. And Bobby wouldn't want to let himself get pulled in, but he has this soft spot for Chim anyway, he can't help it. And then the accident with the rebar happens and it's the first time since Bobby transferred after the fire that he is confronted with loosing someone close to him again. And he's sitting there, by Chimney's bedside, praying, emotions overwhelming him, regretting that he never let himself be closer etc. Then Chim wakes up again and allows himself to get closer to him, to not make that same mistake twice. Then Chimney breaks down and Bobby lets him. That can be fun.

[aversiteespabilas]

I've been summoned yet again!!

I LOVELOVELOVE all the illustrations you've been doing for SL and ROTMR and I've returned to yell at you about it 💗💗

first i wanna talk about the illustration you made for the first chapter of SL. I wanna be not normal about framing real quick, because it struck me as a very specific artistic choice. Our perspective as the audience is placed outside the main setting. Literally. we're peeking through bushes.

we are Not a part of the scene currently unfolding. You could have very easily framed the scene to feel more like Yusuke's pov, but you chose not to. In the written version we're very much reading from Yusuke's perspective, but the audience is never Truly seeing through his eyes, it's not a i/me situation. The audience sort of looks over his shoulder. which, in the illustrated version of the scene, is exactly the position the audience is placed in!

I like that Testuya's gaze isn't on *us, this is a moment between them and them alone. It feels intimate. We're outsiders looking in on a story we have no place in. but ur so gawd darn good at this shit that it doesn't change the power and connection i feel as a viewer. Anyways, all that's to say, I think the connection you made between the two mediums was really neat and very well done. Infinite kudos!! 

NEXT!! the most recent one you did

i mean. WOW. what a way to visualize tension!! I love how the rabbits are framed by the broken glass, it looks like they're trapped. they're walking on glass but scratch that bc the glass is already broken and unless they wanna cut up their toe beans they have to be veryyy careful. 

Also, i love the silly little background yokai they're all so rise coded i love them sosososo much! The little wormy dude? he's literally the love of my life, i'm obsessed with him 

on the topic of background stuff, ny is TRASHED. (referring to the illustration you posted for ROTMR chap. 2) 

I knew there was a ton of rubble and destruction but i don't think i really digested the implications of it all. the purple veins choking metal and concrete? the strong buildings trusted by new yorkers to shelter and protect reduced to unrecognizable rubble?? It evokes such a feeling of horror…and considering possible real world events that may or may not be canon in ROTMR, it hits Really close to home. the whole ordeal is just such a terrible trauma.

on a lighter note, the puppies are adorable as ever! I enjoyed them so much on your cover art for the fic and it's such a treat to see the puppers closer up. I actually love this scene, it's so goofy! poor yuki is concerned for todd's safety on SO many levels 😭😭

Also, i have to bring it up every time, I love the paw shapes 🥺

i love all your shapes but im a BIG fan of the rabbit shapes. They're so rabbity i'm obsessed!!!!!! the ears and the paws get me every time 🥺🙏

and i never mentioned your drawings from a while back, i yelled at Rhin about it at the time but they Just reblogged ur tetsutoshi thingy and i got blown away all over again AWWOOOGA HUF HUF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!! im never gonna get over it!! All your little spicys are great 😭😭🙏 

I dont think any of us are getting past the furry porn allegations. 💀

And while i'm on the subject of spicy tetsutoshi, the new chapter of H&H was BEYOND phenomenal!! It was SO worth the wait, you put your whole soul into that thing 😭🙏 

I honestly haven't fully collected my thoughts on it, there's so much to digest and think about. I might invade ur ao3 inbox sometime soon but i just wanna let u know that i at least read it

anyways, back into the abyss i go, I'm fully submerged in the sand box, you guys buried me under the sand and placed a makeshift flag on the mountain of sand covering my body. lots of hugs and kisses, until next time!!

- 😎

WELCOME BACK SUNNYYYY

The way I just JUMPED from my bed this morning when I saw I had an ask from you HIIIII OMG

My Illustration Era is afoot buddy! Listen, I have a to-draw list that lately just keeps getting full of composition and background ideas for specific scenes and what am I supposed to do about it? NOT deliver??

It's just. I feel like I found it, I found a winning formula for creating immersive ambience that involves having at least three layers of objects (foreground, background, and the characters), and it's funny how by adding that bit of distance from the characters, that "obstacle", suddenly the audience acknowledges they're there, like there's a camera they could move in the space. Plus the blur effect, it creates some DELIGHTFUL pictures, and I've been exploring the potential of that method in as many creative ways as I can find with these scenes! Might not be long until I try to tackle landscapes... Myself from a year ago would be so proud...

For SL Chapter 1 my original idea was actually very different. I was thinking of putting the camera well above both of them, inspired by that line that says their ancestors and Grandfather Jotaro are watching them from the wooden beams. In the end I decided against it cause it was a weird angle to find reference for, cause they'd look a bit awkward from above and mostly cause I realized I was particularly interested in showing Tetsuya's face, since in SL this is the lasting impression of Tetsuya that's going to linger throughout the entire fic, and I wanted the viewer to have a clear look at the person we're talking about. The resulting composition was not as "confrontational" as I had originally intended, it actually feels more intimate and warm, although I did make use of sharp light and shadows to create more tension. I feel like it does work in service to the fic as a whole, though 😌 And Rhin also mentioned that "outside looking in" vibe! It plays within the character-centric, present tense third person that Rhin's narration uses, although of course I'm not planning for all the illustrations to be from over Yusuke's shoulder. I'm kind of approaching it like I would movie scenes! This is Yusuke's movie and we'll need to see his face too from time to time adgsffs

Like with the Chapter 5 art! I really really wanted to have a clear view of all three characters, so I was thinking of an interesting and dynamic way to see all of them confronting the oni. Then I got the idea of the broken glass! I was very excited to see what it would look like framed with that transparency. I also had a lot of fun with the little marketplace yokai, finally those weird critter doodles I made on the corners of high school notes can come in handy- Admittedly, it's not exactly the big crowd I was envisioning? But it gets the point across that they're not the only people there.

Regarding ROTMR Chapter 2, oh boy I feel you. With this one I wanted to achieve a sort of contrast between the destruction and the cute comedic puppy rescue moment, which would reflect the duality of that scene and, in a way, the fic itself. I wanted the environment to accurately represent how messed up everything is, cause it really does hit different when you're seeing it in a picture. I actually took reference from the Rise movie, and how New York actually looked during the krang invasion, and was kind of surprised at how much utter destruction is depicted, including the pink/purple goo EVERYWHERE. In contrast with the bleak nighttime setting of the movie, though, this scene is set in broad daylight, so you can see the goo and the buildings and the dusty environment very clearly, but there's also an intended air of calm and you can see a bit of construction going on in the background. The danger has passed, and they're going through the recovery stage now. I'm actually very proud of the puppy designs, they're such cute little goobers, and especially had a lot of fun with the curly haired one- Just a mop hopping across krang rubble don't worry about it.

COME BE SO INCREDIBLY NORMAL ABOUT RABBIT PAWS WITH MEEEE every single time I draw them I imbue in them all the insanity I feel from not being able to touch them. Fantasy is a cruel, cruel mistress my friend.

I'M SO SO HAPPY WITH THAT SPICY TETSUTOSHI, I was taking pose reference from a photograph but dang, I didn't imagine it turning out SO pretty and on-model, I couldn't even decide on which palette to use with it, which is why I just posted two versions. Fun fact, the ref actually didn't have clothing, but I decided to add clothes after the fact cause get this: ruffled clothing actually makes the whole thing so much more sensual. Just trust me on this, it suddenly made everything x10 times better. Listen, the posing gets you in the moment, but the clothing is the story. It tells you where those hands have been before and what they've done. Same with the places where fur is ruffled. This is one of the reasons I don't often draw the strands of fur on my rabbits (even though I love doing it), cause I want them to be purposeful when I do draw them, to really convey that idea of untidyness. AND SO I CONTINUE ON MY QUEST TO DRAW STUFF I WISH TO TOUCH- ahem ahem

Gosh I'm so completely OVERJOYED that you're liking H&H, that one's a bit of a drama fest compared to ROTMR but it's truly a labor of love, I put all the care I possibly can in crafting every chapter. I'm aware my chapters are very chonky and intense, they're full stories more than they are individual scenes; I think that's a style that suits me well, but I also know it's a bit of a daunting task to discuss them in length. Just knowing that you're sticking with us in our madness makes me so warm and fuzzy inside 💕💕💕💕 I treasure every comment and I love you FOREVER!! Pop in anytime so I can infodump at you some more! 🥰

[sweet-little-dude]

hi hi taku my love!! <3 this is the k polycule ask plus i remembered that i’ve been writing a bajiharu fic and i also wanna talk about that hehe. actually i’ll talk abt that first bc the k polycule is all happy and the bajiharu fic.... not so much. and you deserve healing :)

btw btw beware this is long. really long. i copied this message into a wordcounter and it’s 1.5k without the paragraph you’re reading rn... whoopsies. i insaned a little on my ramble. do tell me if i should shorten it bc it’s too long, and take all the time you need to reply afhjfdgjjgdfh

so okay the bajiharu (baji x sanzu just in case that’s not clear for some reason) wip is currently sitting at 15k and. wtf man 15k ?? i wrote that ?? damn. anyways idk how many of my posts abt it you’ve read but it’s p much a giant character/relationship study of the two. basically bajiharu across the years and timelines. canon compliant too, which sadly means that baji is dead most of the time but oh well. it is VERY angsty (i mean baji is dead that’s where the angst is starting already... and i mean sanzu’s canon life) and uh. i keep describing sanzu dying in nearly every future timeline but i’m having a ton of fun :D also it’s gonna be angst with a happy ending when i’m finished and probably around 30k words. a 30k one-shot. i don’t think i can even chapter it.... welp. accidents happen. yk this was supposed to be a maximum of 5k of bajiharu in the og shin timeline (the one in which he lives and mikey has the accident and ends up dying and stuff) and the final timeline but. uhh. uhm. yeah honestly idk what i did but my brain wouldn’t let go of them so here we are lol

i would summarise the plot of the fic but there hardly is one ?? like it’s just random excerpts from their lives. i mean some of them are like 3k long too and def have plots in and of itself but there’s no greater plot to be summarised 😭

tho what i can say is that they actually are somewhat together in the og timeline and they are.. happily together. they are NOT happy in fact they are miserable but they love each other in a tender way yk. but but they WILL be happy in the final timeline. and happily together too!! i just need them to be happy pls okay thanks. in between baji is dead so not many feelings on his part (😭😭) but sanzu is a miserable wet cat. also i have the most tragic death planned for him in the bonten timeline bc i am a ‘‘weird on-off-ish romance-ish but they don't wanna admit it's that even though it very obviously is and there is so much emotional (and sexual) tension and my god how can they live like this’’ bonten rinzu truther. wowie. and wouldn’t it be really fun if rindou accidentally shot sanzu on a mission gone heavily wrong that ends in sanzu dying in his arms? yeah <3

also!! akashi siblings!! i very much plan on writing abt them too in some timelines. specifically i think i’ll have sanzu move in with senju in the manila timeline before mikey kills him off (i am so excited to write this you don’t know istg) and i’ll have him move back in with takeomi in that one timeline in which izana takes over and naoto & takemichi end up dying in the future bc i hc that senju was shot dead in the past and sanzu has nowhere else to go after mikey’s death (bc he’s actually dead in that future...) so yeah. akashi siblings <3

also in case you wonder what my current 15k cover so far (i’m forcing myself to write chronologically for once bc i really wanna finish this and i’ve got a lot of scenes i’m excited to write i can use to push through the others), it’s the og timeline, the timeline in which draken gets killed by kiyomasa, one of the two following timelines in which draken survives and ends up on death row (i decided to cut one of them bc imo they’re too similar to write abt again), and some past stuff happening before that. which. is not a lot. just now realising how unmuch that is actually wtf it feels like sm more- okay anyways i plan on writing about the bad toman timeline with takemichi as executive, the manila future, bonten future, the future timeline after that with izana, and naoto & takemichi dying, possibly some tenjiku timeskip stuff, and then ofc the final timeline. (i. i gotta say i hope those 30k aren’t lowballing it by like 10k bc if you consider that i’ve written for three timelines plus some inbetween bits and i’m planning for another five whole timelines with inbetween stuff-- ayayay bajiharu is gonna be the death of me)

uhm this is already mUCH longer than planned help buuuut some k polycule stuff bc i love them and they love each other and they are happy. okay so ik you read my posts abt them so i’ll just start with them in their mid/late thirties, finally settled down somewhere they feel safe and they actually like :3 cough cough switzerland mayhaps ? cough cough. yk it can’t be japan anyways... and switzerland is far away...... and i know it well....

okay. they adopt a cat. or maybe two. probably two actually. two cats for them bc they’d like some company other than themselves and kazutora loves cats anyways. i believe that koko is actually more of a dog person bc inupi, but he’s the type of guy to go ‘‘ofc YOU GUYS can get a cat. it’s gonna be YOUR cat. YOU will have to take care of it. i won’t (unless absolutely neccessary.)’’ and then a month or smth after they get a cat kazutora & kakucho are away for a weekend for.. work or smth idk and when they get home koko & the cat are sleeping on the couch while he’s hugging the cat close to his chest, and there’s cat toys all over the floor bc he spent hours playing with the cat. he will still refuse to admit how much he loves the cat but he continues to play and snuggle with it whenever his bfs (husbands? i feel like they’d wear matching wedding rings and call each other husbands even if they legally aren’t bc poly marriage is forbidden) aren’t there to see. also this is really random but kakucho is the small spoon, kokonoi the middle spoon, and kazutora the big spoon. or two of them just sleep hugging the third person.

kazutora would work at a pet shop again i think. maybe he’d even study medicine to become a vet assistant? tbh i’ve always seen him doing that more than chifuyu or baji (tho i love vet student baji too <3). struggling with giving the other two jobs bc after bonten i don’t think kakucho would still want to work with kids (tho i def see him doing some kind of charity work in his free time) and kokonoi... he can’t sponsor anyone like this nor could he do finances for anyone, and he would never ever work at a bank. he’d still like a high paying job/smth at least loosly related to money tho. maybe like some sort of secretary for someone in finances? idk. very open to ideas for these two bc well i am stuck lol.

i think they’d mostly just try to take it slow and enjoy their more peaceful lives now (well kazutora’s life was pretty peaceful before too.. but kokonoi & kakucho) without having to worry about illegal and dangerous and whatnot else stuff. they deserve it okay they all had to go through too many things 😭

also more random stuff about them. kokonoi is banned from the kitchen not because he’s a safety hazard or because he burned down the kitchen once or smth but because he keeps wanting to cook overly expensive gourmet foods, and while they do taste good they are way too expensive and take way too much. plus he HATES having other people in the kitchen with him (he straight up locks them out) and refuses to leave the kitchen while he’s cooking even if he has to wait two hours for something to slowly simmer on low heat so essentially he AND the kitchen are gone for half a day if he wants to make dinner. he doesn’t really mind the kitchen ban though so it works. i think kakucho enjoys cooking the most, but he and kazutora both cook a lot. and sometimes kokonoi forces himself to wake up extra early on weekends (like. 6am. and then he’s done at 7am. and the other two wake up at 9am when early, more like 10am to 11am bc weekend and kokonoi has to wait with his beautifully prepared breakfast for hours) to make pancakes for them all <3

uhh that’s everything in my brain rn i think. i hope. and this is already a fucking essay so whoopsies. anyways that was it, i very much hope you enjoyed my long ass rambles <3 fr fr i missed writing these rambles for you,, but aa i can do that again!! :D

hello elys my love <333 but allg!! i actually read this whole thing a few days after u sent it initially but ive been rlly drained these past like 3 weeks so i hadnt been able to get to it :(( apologies again my love

no cuz fr 15k crazy!!!!! good job!!! no cuz like that lil description of ur rinzu is actually so real.... (this is making me miss my tokyorev hyperfixation so bad ngl) but ur bajiharu fic sounds so good!! the idea and concept of it is so well thought of i applaud u so muchhh

NO CUZ FR WRITING ABT THINGS UR FAMILIAR WITH >> its like u know it so fuckin well which means u can go into rlly good amounts of detail like !!!!!!!!!! ok so first paragraph is so :333 koko being a softie for the cat is so sweettttt omg

i think the jobs u chose for them are good !! suits them all very well but yes agreed they most definitely deserve it <33

ofc its kokonoi doing that, but u cant blame him fr hez just being a good husband </3333

it was fun having this in my inbox again !!! i miss doing these too and i hope the late reply doesnt discourage u <333