#this whole show is an exercise in looking respectfully

[artemisbarnowl]

Max's aunt Bertie is fine as hell what a reveal

[cupiddivinearrow]

Advice From Spirit

PICK A CARD READING

PILE 1

🦅 PILE 1 🦅

🕊️ Key Indicators 🕊️

Healer/ High Priest(ess)/ Witch

Pure

Powerful, Strong, Strengthened, Courageous

Balanced

Clairvoyant

Wise

Focused

Ascending, Growth, Enlightenment

Music

Look on notes on phone for this pile

Throat & Sacral, Root chakra may be blocked

Highly Intuitive

May love to sing

Freedom, Setting yourself free of any limitations, limiting thoughts, and/ or beliefs

Phoenix energy, Rebirth

Divine Timing

Drawn to the night, the Moon

Feminine Energy

#️⃣ Numbers of Significance #️⃣

May be seeing:

3s (333)

4s (444)

5s (555)

⭐ Animal Spirits of Significance: ⭐

Eagle

Horse

Phoenix

Rabbit

Gull

💫 ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS: 💫

Sagittarius

Aquarius

Pisces

🦅 PILE 1 🦅

P1, the saying: The Eagle Has Landed…

P1, have some of you in this pile been focusing on growth and expanding your abilities/ gifts? Some of y’all in this pile may be healers, high priestesses, witches, etc. You’re pretty pure and straight forward. And as of late, you’ve currently have been gaining enlightenment about how to stay balanced and focused. This pile is strong. Powerful. Intuitive. P1, I feel that you’ve been listening to your intuition more lately, which is allowing you to find your voice and let go of unrealistic expectations that are keeping you bound emotionally. Did you just come out of a storm? You should be celebrating making it through, if you haven’t because it is an achievement. Whatever situation you just fought through, could’ve hurt you, and made feel incredibly alone. I’m glad that you made it though this lesson P1. Because that’s what it was. A lesson. That had to be learned to create a catalyst within you. You may be learning about Divine timing in this pile. Coming to a realization that time is an illusion and where you are at this moment is where you’re meant to be. This pile has been learning to stand alone, to speak their truth. And teaching others while doing so. This pile is setting themselves free of any limiting beliefs or lack mindsets. Congratulations on your freedom P1, you have completed a cycle. You’re learning, or will, how to balance out your material and spiritual world. The balance between the 3D (Earth) and the 5D (Astral). You’re healing and manifesting a world of abundance. Through tapping more into your spiritual side, you’ve made the balance that has brought, or will, bring you peace. You have risen like the phoenix, or a rabbit.

P1, You are safe. Continue to be patient, as well as, focused. You are on the right path. Keep going! You are about to have a whole new world. Try being more compassionate with yourself. You had to go through lessons to be able to be who and where you are today. To be able to help others and guide them through your experiences. Try disconnecting from the internet and others for a day and go out in nature. Spend more time with yourself to continue breaking free of things that do not serve you. Continue to set and keep your boundaries and practicing self love. Try giving yourself advice by imagining giving a friend advice and taking that advice. Ask yourself what would you do to really show that you love yourself? Or what do you really enjoy most? When do you feel most intune with yourself? Try to really take the time out to think and answer as realistic as you possibly can. Then act on it. And don’t worry, the Universe has your back. YOU ARE SAFE P1!!!!

🦅 CLOSING MESSAGE: 🦅

The Universe/ Spirit would like for you to learn how to further respect your body and to detox your body this winter. To continue trying to learn your spiritual abilities and gifts by going out in nature or sitting by a body of water and meditating. Tuning in. Exercising. Dancing. Singing. That help keep your mind and body right, respectfully of course. Also, try returning back to the basics. Retracing what you’ve learned on your spiritual journey so far. You can always learn more by retracing your steps and seeing if there’s anything you’ve missed and can use now. In addition, maybe it’s time to declutter. Look around you and think, do you really need all the stuff that’s around you? If you do not, it’s time to consider cleaning your area, which will help with any stagnancy energy around you at the moment. This should be your sacred space. If it’s cluttered, you can’t really relax or enjoy yourself. It’s time to let go of Earthy materials that aren't necessary. It’s important to take care of your physical surroundings and body, as well as your spiritual energy. It is important. Try listening to music more or tapping into your creative side. Slow down. Without your vessel, you lose access to the material world, so treat it well.

LASTLY, EXPECT INCOMING COMMUNICATION. MAYBE A SPIRITUAL DOWNLOAD. THE UNIVERSE HAS BEEN TRYING TO COMMUNE WITH YOU. YOU HAVE BLESSINGS COMING IN THAT’S GOING TO LEAVE YOU FEELING RADIANT, WITH A HEALER’S ENERGY. YOUR GIFTS ARE GETTING AN UPGRADE!!!!

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

✨ PILE 2 ✨

✨ PILE 2 ✨

🕊️ KEY INDICATORS 🕊️

Masculine energy

Distracted, Unfocused

Burdened

Emotionally Burdened

3D, Material World, Earth Energy motivated

Unbalanced

Spends time outside alot

Spiraling

Crown, 3rd eye, Heart, Sacral chakra may be blocked or being aligned

Brave, Courageous

Taking Lead

Irritated

Passion, Desire

Rebirth

Angel Wings- Earned their wings

Peace

GLOW UP

Connection to Lady Gaia, Mother and Goddess of Earth

#️⃣ Numbers of Significance: #️⃣

2s (222)

4s (444)

5s (555)

8s (888)

10s (1010)

⭐ Animals of Significance: ⭐

Lions

Rabbit

Puma

Cow

Kingfisher

Whale

Dolphin

💫 ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS: 💫

Leo

Aquarius

Scorpio

✨ PILE 2: ✨

Pile 2, the saying, “Team work makes the dream work” comes to mind when I tap into this group.

Recently, or you will be, P2, you had a glow up. You have put in the work to close cycles and you have done it!!! And because of this, the Universe is blessing you with a gift. In partnership, In new beginnings. Possibly (very) in love… Oh la la 😘

P2, you’ve been working hard on yourself after a possible heartbreak or betrayal that left you feeling like you needed to close yourself off to love and kept you in a confused or negative mindset in the past. Maybe with a False Twin Flame, a karmic. But as of late, you’ve been trying to find your peace by focusing on things that helps you to heal. You’re currently gaining the courage of a lion and growing your power. If you believe in terms such as Earth Angel, then P2, you once may have lost your wings after indulging in lower vibration activities. You’ve earned them back.

You may be drawn to nature at this time, P2, or doing some inner child healing. You may be looking back into the past, wondering what you couldve done better. But P2, dont you see, you have achieved alot. You should be proud. You’re learning to trust in your intuition, and to let go of the past, which will benefit you soon, if it’s not already.

Some of you in P2 will be offered a new opportunity in business or with your gifts. If its business, trust in yourself, stay resilient, move in silence. As for those who gifts are enhancing, protect yourself. The bigger you get, the more haters you will have. (But i appreciate the haters. They let me know I’m doing my job well.)

Some of you in P2, I see a love or new partnership coming in. Try to keep boundaries but dont be afraid of starting something new in your life. Yes, love can be scary, but it’s meant to be a gift. Not feared. When something doesn’t work out, we often forget that it’s the Universe's way of protecting us and helping us learn a lesson that we must learn. And sometimes, we have to learn that lesson the hard way, due to Ego.

✨ CLOSING MESSAGE: ✨

The Universe wants what’s best for you, and is just waiting for us to figure that out P2. And I believe you have. You understand how important it is to find balance within ones life by not letting one thing or person take over it by having a career and social life to focus on. And P2, I believe you’re about to receive it. A blessing. Either you’re about to be blessed with a new opportunity in business, life, or you’re about to experience a great big love that will leave you feeling safe and cared for. Pile 2, you’re about to be blessed with security. However, you will need to use discernment. You’re about to have many options available to you. Go out and explore. But take baby steps. It’s time to discover who you are in your heart P2. But, remember to use caution. And you will figure out which is the right path, hobbies, activities, people, things for you by letting your intuition and experiences to guide you. Allow yourself to partake in ALL OF THE SWEET THINGS LIFE HAS TO OFFER YOU.

For those that are receiving new opportunities in life, gifts and business, please let the past go. Balance yourself. Continue to try to find direction if you havent already. Your gifts are growing. Keep pushing forward.Your gifts are enhancing.

Now, for those of you that are having love come in, if you are not ready for a baby, please be careful. I see a baby might be coming in soon. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE SOON TO BE PARENTS! BLESSINGS!!!

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

🌄 PILE 3 🌄

🌄 PILE 3 🌄

🕊️ KEY INDICATORS 🕊️

Feeling Insecure, Not At Home

Security

Artist

Writers

Shadow Work

Creativity

An Ending

Vulnerability

Release

Meditation

Renewal

Connection to Egypt

Lady Hathor: Egyptian Goddess of Beauty, Sensuality, Music, Dancing, and Maternity

A whole new world

Unapologetic

Autumn

Throat, Heart, Solar, & Root Chakra may be blocked

Spiritual (Vision) Quest

Clairvoyant

#️⃣ Numbers of Significance: #️⃣

1s (111)

4s (444)

⭐ Animal Spirits of Significance: ⭐

Spider

Scarab

Rabbit

💫 Astrological Signs: 💫

Virgo

Scorpio

🌄 PILE 3 🌄

The statement: “It’s the Beginning, Not the End.”

Pile 3, are you currently feeling confused, lost, confused. Or maybe this was your energy in the recent past? Did you start to lose hope in a situation? Were you currently in a dark place? Seems to me that maybe, P3, just maybe, you just experienced what I call a Dark Night of the Soul, or should i say, Ego Death and now you are seeing a brand new world. Have a whole new perspective. P3, the veil has been lifted and your spiritual journey has stepped into a new chapter. It is time to focus more on your spirituality, for the world that you once knew is gone. Now, or in the near future, you will face a 2nd chance in life after some news is revealed and helps you find release.

It’s time to tune into yourself and ground yourself. To figure out who you really are and what your life path, your purpose, is. Deep inside yourself, there are secrets. Secrets that will reveal lost wisdom if you just look a little deeper inside. You may have the ability to see visions. And in this vision, you will see you way forward. You will let go of the past and embrace the future. Learn to experience life as it comes It’s time to forgive. Speak out. HEAL. Set your intentions and believe it. You have limitless possibilities waiting for you. You just have to let go of the past and take a step into the future. Instead of looking at the past with regret, change your perspective. Don’t use the lesson to be hurt, but as a lesson on where to heal. It’s all about “The glass is half empty/ The glass is half full” kind of thing. Life is what you make of it. And only you can decide how you’re gonna react to a lesson. But, it’d be easier on yourself if you try to connect with your ancestors. There may be one that’s reaching out. A grandmother spirit. And she’s wanting to help you heal. You just need to listen. She will help guide you.

🌄 CLOSING MESSAGE: 🌄

Let go and try to have no regrets. There is beauty in the pain. Beauty comes from our perspective on how we see things. We prefer to look at the sky vs trash. We prefer what we call beauty vs believing that everything and everyone has some beauty to it, or a lesson, which is beautiful. Its guidance. Its love from the Universe. Ever heard that saying when someone stays quiet to worry vs someone that nags because it shows how much you are loved? This is the same. The Universe shows us where we need to improve to have a better life. It’s a gift. So when we hurt, there’s something that need to be fixed or taken a closer look at. Just because something seems like its a matter of concern because it’s ending, doesn’t mean it’s not a blessing… It could actually be a blessing in disguise. But that’s for you to determine. Try not to focus too much on this and push forward. Gather the strength from this issue that caused an imbalance in your life and try to focus that energy elsewhere in your life, where you know you’ve needed to take a closer look at. Find your peace by not focusing too much on one area in your life. It helps. Believe me when I say that. It’s time to nurture the whole of you – mind, body, soul. Also, if writing is your thing, go ahead and start journaling. Write about what you’ve been through on this journey. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Try to find the positive lesson there for all your hardships you’ve through…Writing will also help you to manifest your goals and desires faster. It helps you to capture your ideas, plans, dreams, memories, etc. And it can be extremely therapeutic, while also releasing that creative streak inside you. Try to determine what charms and rituals you do or could do everyday to invite a little magick within your life. Try to go out in nature and meditate. Try to get in touch with the water and nature spirits around you. Remember to protect yourself psychically. Also, try making a talisman for yourself or use crystal magick for protection. When it comes to those focusing on their careers, if you’re not already, it’s time to develop some more skills or look at your career and figure out what needs to change there. Go after what you want. If you have to go to school, do so. If you’re not happy where you’re at, start looking for a job to feed your soul. Do what you have to to bring more happiness and joy into your life, now’s the time.

AND THAT CONCLUDES THIS READING!!!!

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE IN ADVANCE!!!

🕊️ Blessings 🕊️

My discord server is linked below:

🙏🏽 My Webpage and IG page coming soon 🙏🏽

[letarasstuff]

She makes me a better Man

(A/N): Yeah, I wanted to write this in so long and here we are. It's a little hearwarming something for the dropping temperatures outside

Summary: Spencer talks to a stranger about his daughter (and it's totally cute)

Warnings: Mentions of food and irregular eating/bad diet, Mentions of childhood traume, sappy feelings

Wordcount: 1k

✨Masterlist✨ ______________________________

At this point Spencer already is awake for well over 24 hours. The only thing he wants at this point is sitting at home with his one year old daughter, playing with one of the many toys Penelope (and Derek) gifted to her or reading a book with her sitting in his lap and drooling all over his sweater vest and cardigan. Instead he is out in Kansas City in the middle of the night, freezing and asking high risk people if they have seen something suspicious happening on the streets. So far, being out there for several hours, they were unsuccessful.

It's what feels like the hundredth prostitute Spencer talks to that night. "And are you sure you haven't seen anything odd around here?" He asks to make sure they don't miss anything and maybe it does call something in the lady's memory. "No, I would remember, just like I would remember seeing you around. Maybe I can show you what I will do to someone handsome and cute like you when you get off duty?" Hotch has to bite back a laugh, since this isn't the first woman to offer her services to the young genius this night. Once again tonight Spencer turns beet red and tries to stumble out a respectfully No.

"Uhm, thank you, b-but I got someone at home, who, who calls me Daddy and waits for me as-as soon as I get, uhm, off duty." Now Hotch can't help himself and has to turn around in order to conceal the laugh as a cough (and fails miserably). The lady looks impressed. "A bit Kinky, aren't we?" She chuckles.

At this moment Spencer realizes how his words can be interpreted without providing any further context.

"No! No, not like that. I'm talking about my daughter, who is in D.C. with her babysitter and I can't wait to see her again. M-my daughter, (Y/N), I mean, not her babysitter, even though she is a wonderful and ambitious young woman trying to get through life on her own. B-but I love my daughter dearly, she may be only a year old, but in the whole time of her existence she has already made me a better man. Thanks to (Y/N) I was finally able to get my priorities right and sorted and I still do. I know now that time spent with my family is invaluable and that the 20th book of the day can wait, because my baby girl is only, well, now a baby. She just started talking. Nothing major, just simple words like Papa, Dada and Daddy as of last week and it's my favorite sound in the world. I can't get enough of being called Papa by my daughter, it's the best kind of addiction I can have. Also thanks to (Y/N) I learned to take care of myself. There is someone depending on me, someone completely helpless without me. If I am not able to function fully and properly, I’ll put her in danger. And I promised to her the day she was born to protect her until the day I die and beyond that. I intend on keeping that promise. I also get the recommended amount of sleep at night. I started eating more and better, expanding my diet beyond sugary coffee and an occasional donut or take out. I started doing light exercises. I go to therapy, because I have to work through my own trauma. I am the one to break the circle in order for (Y/N) to be able to thrive to her true self later in life. I lay the foundation for that in her early childhood, so I have to be in balance with myself and my own childhood.

"So yeah, my daughter made a better man out of me and she still does every day she exists and smiles at me. That's why no, I don't want you to show me anything when I get off duty, because I can't wait to get back to my (Y/N)." Spencer finally finishes his minutes long monolog and takes a deep breath.

Hotch has to turn around again. This time to hide the tears glistening in his eyes. He feels every single word his youngest agent (and kind of child) said deep in his bones, knowing the sensation of emotions coming with the whole child package. The lady on the other hand doesn't even try to hide hers.

"You are the most honorable man I have met. Please, get home to your baby girl safely. Give her a kiss from me." She blows her nose with a tissue while walking away, no doubt trying to look presentable again for the next men.

Spencer and Hotch go back to the regrouping spot in silence, sharing the mutual feeling of not talking about the heartfelt moment. That is until Derek asks them if they were more successful than the others.

"I don't think so, but Reid made a prostitute cry and he wasn't talking about the UnSub by that." This is all Derek needs to be able to tease his pretty boy the whole remainder of the case and the following plane ride.

But Spencer doesn't care if it means he was able to boast about his daughter to someone.

Given the fact that they landed the next day in the early evening, he rushes home to (Y/N), who is waiting for him while her babysitter watches her. "DADDY!" She screams as her father opens the door. As fast as her chubby baby legs are able to carry her she runs towards him. He immediately falls down to his knees and opens his arms. "Ahhh, incoming!" He acts like the force of her colliding with his chest brings him down, rolling around with a giggling (Y/N) in his arms.

Spencer is sure that her laughter is his second favorite, but not less addictive by any means, sound in the world.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187 @kneelforloki

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner

Spencer Reid x child!reader:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm

[perpetual-stories]

How To Fight Writers Block

hello, hello. hope everyone is doing well. as you can all tell, this post will be about how to fight writers block.

it’s really annoying to me when I hear people say “oh you don’t have writers block, you’re just lazy.”

first of all, yes, I am naturally lazy. second of all, how dare you. writing isn’t as easy as many think. granted, all you have to do is write down words on paper, but it’s not always easy to find the right words to express what you are feeling, or what you wish to say.

I have had terrible writer’s block for the last few days and it’s horrible! as a business owner or a small writing store, I have to be ready to write and fulfill my clients’ ideas and orders.

it’s not easy. It takes a heavy toll on my imagination, and digs me a deep pit of blockage, drowning in the lack of originality because of the constant writing and repetition or certain phrases and sentences in different projects.

i am making this post in the hopes to remind myself about over coming the dreaded and sometimes skeptically believed writer’s block.

What is writer’s block?

Yeah, I know. We all know what that is, but let me define it.

is the state of being unable to proceed with writing, and/or the inability to start writing something new

some people believe it to be a real problem, others believe it's “all in your head”

What Causes Writer’s Block?

in the 1970s, clinical psychologists Jerome Singer and Michael Barrios decided to find out

they concluded that there are four broad causes of writer's block:

Excessively harsh self-criticism

Fear of comparison to other writers

Lack of external motivation, like attention and praise

Lack of internal motivation, like the desire to tell one's story

How to overcome writer's block: 20 tips

1. Develop a writing routine:

Author and artist Twyla Tharp once wrote: “Creativity is a habit, and the best creativity is a result of good work habits.”

it might seem counterintuitive

if you only write when you “feel creative,” you're bound to get stuck in a tar pit of writer's block

The only way to push through is by disciplining yourself to write on a regular schedule. It might be every day, every other day, or just on weekends — but whatever it is, stick to it!

2. Use "imperfect" words:

A writer can spend hours looking for the perfect word or phrase to illustrate a concept

You can avoid this fruitless endeavor by putting, “In other words…” and simply writing what you’re thinking, whether it’s eloquent or not

You can then come back and refine it later by doing a CTRL+F search for “in other words.”

3. Do non-writing activities:

one of the best ways to climb out of a writing funk is to take yourself out of your own work and into someone else’s

Go to an exhibition, to the cinema, to a play, a gig, eat a delicious meal

immerse yourself in great STUFF and get your synapses crackling in a different way

Snippets of conversations, sounds, colors, sensations will creep into the space that once felt empty

4. Freewrite through it:

free-writing involves writing for a pre-set amount of time without pause — and without regard for grammar, spelling, or topic. You just write.

The goal of freewriting is to write without second-guessing yourself — free from doubt, apathy, or self-consciousness, all of which contribute to writer's block. Here’s how:

Find the right surroundings. Go somewhere you won't be disturbed.

Pick your writing utensils. Will you type at your computer, or write with pen and paper? (Tip: if you're prone to hitting the backspace button, you should freewrite the old-fashioned way!)

Settle on a time-limit. Your first time around, set your timer for just 10 minutes to get the feel for it. You can gradually increase this interval as you grow more comfortable with freewriting.

5. Relax on your first draft:

Many writers suffer form perfectionism, which is especially debilitating during a first draft

“Blocks often occur because writers put a lot of pressure on themselves to sound ‘right’ the first time. A good way to loosen up and have fun again in a draft is to give yourself permission to write imperfectly.” — editor Lauren Hughes

perfect is the enemy of good,” so don't agonize about getting it exactly right! You can always go back and edit, maybe even get a second pair of eyes on the manuscript

6. Don’t start at the beginning:

the most intimidating part of writing is the start, when you have a whole empty book to fill with coherent words

instead of starting with the chronological beginning of whatever it is you’re trying to write, dive into middle, or wherever you feel confident

7. Take a shower:

Have you ever noticed that the best ideas tend to arrive while in the shower, or while doing other “mindless” tasks?

research shows that when you’re doing something monotonous (such as showering, walking, or cleaning), your brain goes on autopilot, leaving your unconscious free to wander without logic-driven restrictions

showering is my favourite thing to do if I may add

8. Balance your inner critic:

successful writers have in common is the ability to hear their inner critic, respectfully acknowledge its points, and move forward

You don't need to completely ignore that critical voice, nor should you cower before it

you must establish a respectful, balanced relationship, so you can address what's necessary and skip over what's insecure and irrelevant

9. Switch up your tool:

a change of scenery can really help with writer's block. However, that scenery doesn't have to be your physical location — changing up your writing tool can be just as big a help!

if you’ve been typing on your word processor of choice, try switching to pen and paper. Or if you're just sick of Google Docs, consider using specialized novel writing software.

10. Change your POV:

great advice from editor Lauren Hughes: “When blocked, try to see your story from another perspective ‘in the room’ to help yourself move beyond the block. How might a minor character narrate the scene if they were witnessing it? A ‘fly on the wall’ or another inanimate object?

11. Exercise your creative muscles:

Any skill requires practice if you want to improve, and writing is no different! So if you’re feeling stuck, perhaps it’s time for a strengthening scribble-session to bolster your abilities

12. Map out your story:

If your story has stopped chugging along, help it pick up steam by taking a more structured approach — specifically, by writing an outline

13. Write something else:

Though it's important to try and push through writer's block with what you're actually working on, sometimes it's simply impossible

feel free to push your current piece to the side for now and write something new

14. Work on your characters:

It follows that if your characters are not clearly defined, you’re more likely to run into writer’s block

15. Stop writing for readers:

write for yourself, not your potential readers

this will help you reclaim the joy of being creative and get you back in touch with what matters: the story.

this is something I really need to do. because of my etsy business i don't write for fun anymore, but instead as a business and a deadline. i'm going to have to pull out my old crappy wattled fanfics or write some new ones.

16. Try a more visual process:

when words fail you, forget them and get visual. Create mind maps, drawings, Lego structures — ideally related to your story, but whatever unblocks your mind!

17. Look for the root of it:

writer’s block often comes from a problem deeper than simple “lack of inspiration.” So let's dig deep: why are you really blocked? Ask yourself the following questions:

Do I feel pressure to succeed and/or competition with other writers?

Have I lost sight of what my story is about, or interest in where it's going?

Do I lack confidence in my own abilities, even if I've written plenty before?

Have I not written for so long that I feel intimidated by the mere act?

Am I simply feeling tired and run-down?

once you identify what's wrong, it'll be so much easier to fix.

18. Quit the Internet:

If willpower isn’t your strong suit and your biggest challenge is staying focused, try a site blocker like Freedom or an app like Cold Turkey

19. Let the words find you:

meditate, go for a walk, take that shower

Word Palette is a great app that features a keyboard of random words, allowing you to simply click your way to your next masterpiece.

You can also try AI auto-completers like Talk to Transformer, where you can enter a phrase and let the app “guess what comes next.”

even though they often produce nonsense, it's a great way to help that writer's block.

20. Write like Hemingway:

And if your biggest block is your own self-doubt about your prose, Hemingway offers suggestions to improve your writing as you go

it's a pretty cool app if you ask me.

it highlights your sentences (if need be) and makes suggestions on how to improve them!

well, there you have it! a lengthy post on how to fight writer's block. now i just hope i can combat my own soon.

like, comment and reblog if you find this useful! feel free to reblog in instagram and tag me perpetualstories

Follow me on instagram and tumblr for more writing and grammar tips and more!

[babydaddyleorio]

meet the parents: itadori yuuji x reader

pairings: yuuji itadori x fem! reader

word count: 1,060

summary: in which itadori meets your parents

“Does my breath smell bad?” Yuuji suddenly broke the silence and cuffed his hand to his mouth while huffing, his face contorting to shock soon after.  “Oh no, I can’t tell-- y/n smell my breath!” Yuuji leaned in towards your face with his mouth open but you put your hand up to stop him just before he could blow at you.

“Yuuji, move. I am not smelling your breath.” You said pointedly while laughing at him. Yuuji stepped back and rubbed his hand against the nape of his neck, his frantic expression from before now being replaced with a sheepish one. 

“Sorry y/n, I’m just really nervous about tonight.” He confessed while gripping the steering wheel in front of him rather tightly. The two of you were currently sitting inside of Yuuji���s car which was parked in the driveway of your parent’s home. Yuuji had been sweating bullets since the moment you walked out of your front door and his worrying seemed to only increase the whole drive here. 

You sucked your teeth and leaned your body over the armrest so that you could place your hands on top of Yuuji’s shaking ones.

“Everything is going to be fine, stop getting yourself worked up about this.” You said in a quick attempt to calm him down, but it seemed futile as Yuuji groaned loudly and threw his head back against the leather seat.

“I know I’m being dramatic right now, but I just really want to make a good first impression on your parents.” He glanced to where you sat, frowning at the thought of your parents not accepting him. Yuuji loved you with all of his heart and he wanted to do everything in his power to show your parent’s that he was worthy of being the best boyfriend to you. 

You leaned closer to Yuuji once again, only this time giving him a reassuring kiss on the cheek.

“You got this,” You said while grabbing Yuuji’s chin and turning his head to look at him in the eyes. “We got this, okay?”

Yuuji silently nodded at you, although the feeling of doubt still lingered in his mind. You then unbuckled your seatbelt and patiently waited with your purse in your lap as Yuuji got out and jogged around the car and to the passenger side. Your heart jumped once he swung your door open, grinning down at you with love in his eyes. He reached for your hand and you noticed how neatly his tie was done over the snug blue shirt you picked out for him, as well as the way his onyx dress pants hugged his legs just right. You smirked at how handsome your boyfriend was, but you quickly shook away those thoughts and grabbed his extended hand so the two of you could go in.

                               +

Dinner had been very… interesting to say the least. Yuuji had greeted your parents respectfully at the front door, but when your dad reached out for a handshake, Sukuna took that as an opportunity to come out of his slumber and decide it would be a great idea to lick your father’s hand. Your dad immediately jumped back and retracted his hand with a bewildered expression on his face. You and Yuuji had to quickly play It off by saying that Yuuji’s hand was just extremely sweaty, but you could sense that your dad was still a bit weirded out. Yuuji's irritation with Sukuna only doubled once he heard him laughing at the mess he created in the back of his mind. Strike one.

As you all were waiting for dinner to be done, Yuuji had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom. Your mom told him that It was upstairs and he made sure to thank her before leaving. Minutes had passed now and you were in the middle of laughing with your parents when suddenly you heard Yuuji scream, making you turn your head just in time to see him tumbling down the stairs at high speed. Your parents gasped in shock as Yuuji laid face first on the ground, and after some moments, he weakly lifted his head and brought his hand up to give you guys a thumbs up.

“I’m.. okay..” Strike two.

When you guys got to the dinner table, your mom tried to break the awkward silence by giving some conversation starters. 

“So Itadori.. what do you do?” Your mother asked, shifting her eyes towards the boy who was contently chewing mashed potatoes. Yuuji then gulped down the food that was in his mouth and smiled genuinely at your mom.

“Oh, I exercise curses.” 

Your parents opened their eyes in shock, silverware clanking against their plates, and you couldn’t help but slap your hand against your forehead. Good grief, that was strike three.

The night had ended soon after that, you sensing how badly this whole ordeal would hurt Yuuji. Your dad had taken Yuuji in the backyard to have a “talk” and you could only imagine how horribly that conversation was going. You looked at your mom with a tired expression and she looked back at you sympathetically. The backdoor door suddenly opened and you mentally braced yourself to see your boyfriend’s devastated face, but shock consumed you once you saw your dad and Yuuji walk into the room side by side and laughing together.

“Itadori, you are something else.” Your dad chuckled while slapping Yuuji on the back. You didn’t think your dad and Yuuji would be buddy buddy after all that happened tonight, but It seemed like they were actually hitting it off at this moment.

“Listen, you may be a bit clumsy and unpredictable, but I can tell that you really love my daughter.” Yuuji looked at your father with a smile as he continued his sentence. “You’re okay in my book.”

When you and Yuuji got back into his car, Yuuji did a silent scream and a little dance in his seat.

“I did It, y/n! They like me!” He shouted while turning to look at you with his eyes closed and the biggest smile on his face. You laughed at how excited your boyfriend was, and as he was still rejoicing, you grabbed the tie he had around his neck and pulled him closer to you.

His eyes immediately shot open from the sudden action and a blush creeped across his cheeks once he felt your lips touch his. You moved your head back and smiled at Yuuji’s flustered state.

“I knew you could do It.”

[kuralione]

VtK Fic Idea: Villain x Civilian Gym Buddies (Part 1)

Inspired by this.

So, unlike the original prompt this isn’t romantic—just two really good friends. Might use the subverted romantic set up for humor if I end up write this. What’cha think @fullhandsmuffinartisan?

Part 1: The Set Up

Cassian and Naeun have been friends for a while. They kept running into each other after the bookstore and got along pretty well. They ended up exercise/running buddies. They might have ended up going to the same (the closest) college too. The first half of the fic is focused on setting up and flushing out their friendship.

Morning runs are a routine with them and Cass might occasionally go to self defense classes with Naeun. They hit the gym together at least twice a week. It’s a productive hobby and bonding activity for both of them that still leaves them plenty of time for other friends and activities.

Naeun started exercising for her modeling job. It improved her physique and burning calories allowed her a less restricted diet. She learned to enjoy it. Exercise feels good. After that run in with Bloodrain in high school, Naeun also started going to self defense classes. Sure, she still won’t be able to do much in the face of most super powered baddies, but she takes confidence in knowing she can fight off most normies.

Cassian exercised a lot before and he’s continued the habit in his new life. He was going through a particularly crazy phase when he and Naeun met which is a large part of the reason it became such a thing between them. Cass was bring his new body up to par with his last one. He calmed down a bit after that, but he is dedicated to staying in shape—he needs to for fighting.

Naeun is also under the impression that Cassian occasionally moonlights as a stripper or something. He has the looks for it and he slipped up once and mentioned having to keep in shape for his ‘night job.’ Cass is aware of the misconception, but didn’t correct her. Naeun found it funny (a tsundere like Cassian?) and was respectful of his alleged part-time job. It’s not like Cassian has parents or a Psyker (with a big paycheck) in the family. It’s just him and his sister.

Honestly, Naeun thinks Cassian has like a dozen or so part time gigs. Probably shady and questionably legal stuff too given how Cassian doesn’t talk or tell her much about it beyond some vague stuff. Nothing bad though, like drug dealing or stealing, so Naeun respectfully doesn’t pry into it.

Cassian is not close/friends with Uchan here. They know of each other as civilians, but I want Naeun as a character to exist independently to her brother. She’s got a life outside and friends unrelated to him. Cassian does pull his punches more than usual when fighting Uchan for Naeun sake tho. Kinda a dick move to put your close friend’s sibling in the hospital, ya know?

Now, Naeun has had a vague celebrity crush on Villain!Cassian for a while. He’s hot and there was that time he rescued her back in high school. Strong bad-boy vibes with the black-blue color scheme and the whole villain thing—but Villain!Cassian doesn’t go out and cause meaningless violence. He generally shows up and ends shit. Has a Dark Knight thing going for him. So, celebrity crush.

(I’m still working out how the Identity Reveal will occur. Naeun’s crush dies a swift death and Cassian is freaking out. It’s an accident.)

Part 2 (tba)

[begrudginglytumbling]

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

Time for the next installment of my Bai Yu Sitting Project.

Unlike Part One, this'll focus on just one drama because the damned thing is 38 episodes long and I'm pretty sure the man spends a large majority of his time sitting, leaning, and/or lounging.

It’s called Grow Up, a medical drama that I cannot find English subtitles for, and it's been around long enough that I doubt I ever will. But, hey, things like this are the whole point of trying to learn the language, right?

So, those willing to join me in the continuation of whatever this is turning out to be, get yourself comfortable and head on under the cut, this is gunna be long.

For little weirdos like me doing nonsense projects like this,Grow Up is a veritable treasure trove. I mean the man does this in the very first episode.

He makes them put the box down and immediately sits on it and pulls a leg up. And he’s making a point, I get it, I mean I don’t understand it, since, y’know, it’s all Chinese and I can only pick out a few characters, but why did the leg have to go up? He could’ve sprawled, done a bit of manspreading that I know he is fully capable of after watching this. But no. Leg up. Only one foot may touch the floor.

So, yeah, it’s a treasure trove of sittings and leanings and loungings. Even though his character, Xie Nanxiang, is technically only a ‘support role’, I’ve still managed to gather about 70 screenshots, and that doesn’t actually catalogue every time he sits, leans, and lounges.

I was going to try and whittle the screenshots down, but I couldn’t bring myself to really do it. I think I managed to cut about three? So when I say this is going to be long, I mean it’s going to be long and pretty image heavy.

I have however made attempts at organisation. So instead of just a random array of images, I’m going to group them under sets...that’s filming sets, not position sets.

We’ll start off with the nurse’s station/desk. You know those tall desks you get on wards? Yeah, if they were on that set then it was pretty much guaranteed Bai Yu would be leaning on it. And if he wasn’t leaning on it initally, then he would be by the end.

I didn’t take a screenshot every time he leaned, I managed to rein my madness in enough to not do that at least, but I’ve catalogued the different kinds of lean.

The first is the common arms crossed lean, which, I will grant you, makes sense to use, considering I don’t know anyone who hasn’t leant on this kind of desk like this.

The second is the single arm lean. He didn’t need to lean here. Would’ve been fine to stand. But this is Bai Yu we’re talking about. So lean he did.

Third is the casual backwards lean. He probably shouldn’t be leaning here. I’m fairly certain that’s one of the chaps they refer to as Laoshi talking to them. Everyone else is standing respectfully. Bai Yu? Nah mate, Imma lean.

And lastly - if a surface is at butt leaning height, Bai Yu will take advantage.

Something I’ve noticed while watching this (and bear in mind I skipped most of the non-Bai Yu parts), more often than not, Bai Yu is the only one to be leaning/sitting/whatever posture he’s taking. It’s kinda fascinating.

The next set is the hospital in general, so corridors and rooms that aren’t the staffroom because that’s a whole set in and of itself.

This one made me giggle, because the moment the woman he’s trying to impress left, he practically flung himself back on this bed and got comfy.

Like, did he need to do that? Probably not.

Was that going to stop him? Of course not.

Just as a side note, is patient privacy a thing? Like, yeah, they’ve the big curtains to draw around the bed. But that’s a big window, with no curtains, no frosted glass, and a path beside it. Are you inviting the general public to a show? The lack of cover is just begging nosy passersby to look in.

Of course leaning is a common occurrence in the hospital. But if you put a bar at Bai Yu butt height you really can’t expect anything different.

Also it always throws me when he turns sideways in the doctor’s coat. From the front, it gives him a width he doesn’t have, then he turns and suddenly goes flat, and you have to blink because for a moment you’d forgotten just how damn skinny the man is.

I dubbed this the ‘no help. just lean’ shot. Those are his parents, yet why would he help packing when there is a convienient windowsill at butt leaning height?

The vending machine is also a favoured leaning post, both in sickness and in health.

For the final lean of this set, can you spot him? This is an example of Bai Yu leaning while everyone is standing. It’s a legs crossed side lean.

And look at this. He gets up shortly after this, but of everyone in the room, he’s lounging on the sofa. He could’ve been standing like the rest of them. But that wouldn’t have the same effect now would it? I’m beginning to wonder if Bai Yu’s penchant for leaning, sitting, and lounging is not just him being...well him, but also an indicator of Bai Yu being a very clever man and a rather good actor.

Now then look at that face. Regardless of how ridiculous this Project is, I shall always be grateful to it for giving me the expressions Bai Yu has in this scene. His pouty, disgruntled, get-me-off-this-ride face makes me want to squish his cheeks.

I also find it endlessly amusing that although he is topless in this scene, great efforts seem to be made to keep him more or less covered as this is not one of Those dramas that have a Designated Bath/River/Body of Water Topless Scene.

Also injury and illness counts because he gets to spend his time lying about on a surgery table.

And finally for the general hospital set we have...this.

Everyone else is sitting on chairs and stools.

Bai Yu?

Weird animal toy thing.

He could’ve sat on a chair, a stool, even the floor. But no. He chose to sit on this. How is that even remotely comfortable?

(Still with me? We’re almost halfway...kinda. Maybe I should split this drama into two posts. We’ll see how long the next set is first)

From inside the hospital we move to the outside, because that’s natural progression right?

Outside the building we can encounter things such as the common sprawling lounge. He seems to enjoy hooking his elbows over things.

Then he will head to some planetarium type thing where they have the screen on the ceiling. And, just, I know he’s having some kind of emotional issues, with angsting over failed relationships and whatnot (ok to be fair I’m only assuming that’s the case given everything that’s going on, even though I don’t understand what’s being said). But! Bai Yu, sweetie, precious, dearest darling man, get your goddamn shoes off the headrest of the seat in front of you!

I want to bundle him up in a cuddle and thwack him with a rolled up newspaper at the same time.

Bai Yu and cars.

I’m becoming vaguely convince the man has a magnet or something in his arse.

And just look at this.

Bai Yu, sir. What’s that saying?

Once is chance, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern.

Y’know, I don’t know why, but I was actually surprised he could do sit-ups.

He was doing them before he was interrupted by the girl, then he ended up doing more with the bloke. Of course he didn’t get his arse off the ground when the bloke, one of the teachers/mentors, turned up. Unlike the girl who popped up to her feet.

There is something oddly appealing about the image he makes laid out on the grass though.

I mean, she looks like she’d probably welcome the sweet release of death, and if they’ve just done exercise then same, girl, same.

But he just makes you want to curl up next to him and have a nap or something.

This bar scene...*sigh*

He could sit in a chair.

But no. He chooses to lean on the pillar.

And when he does decide to sit. Does he pick a chair?

No.

No he does not.

The angsty roof, where people seem to go to have a bit of a cry or emotional stare off into the distance.

For a bit of context, this is how people tend to be on that roof.

They stand, they might lean. They have their angsty moment.

But Bai Yu?

Bai Yu is not built for this boring sort of crying angst.

No no no.

He must do more.

So he sits on the bloody wall, crossing his legs over the thin metal bar that is probably cutting off his circulation, while he has his emotional moment.

How did he even get up there? That is not a short wall. You can’t boost yourself up like it’s a kitchen counter. The pair standing next to each other in the context images? The taller one is Bai Yu, just look where the top of this wall comes to. There is no boosting onto this.

So did he hop up onto the table, then the wall, and walk around the edge until he got to this spot for his angsty moment?

*sigh* this man.

Last ones for outside the hospital.

They are, oddly enough, of instances where Bai Yu isn’t sitting.

I know, weird right?

But look, he could be sitting. The sofa is right next to him, and he falls asleep there not long after this. And it would make sense to sit on the sofa, or at least the arm of the sofa because that photo he’s looking at was on the table top, not on the shelf below it.

This is an instance where he probably should be sitting.

But no. Bai Yu goes against that and instead he just crouches. Because that makes sense right?

Then here!

Everyone else is sitting.

He has the perfect place to sit right behind him.

But he remains standing for the entirety of this scene. There is not even a hint that he might sit down in such a fashion as I’ve come to expect from this man.

But maybe, just maybe, that’s the point.

A point I’ll look at more in Part Three, because the length of this would be truly ridiculous if I kept going.

So! Next time on the Bai Yu Sitting Project! Dorm Rooms and Staffrooms! Awkward angles and did-your-roommate-seriously-just-tuck-you-in? moments!

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

[fillingthescrapbook]

Rewriting The CW's Kung Fu, Part 9: Reflections and Moving Forward

And we have reached the end of our Kung Fu journey. If you haven't seen where we began, here's a handy guide to the previous posts:

Part 1: The Characters

Part 2: The Pilot

Part 3: The Mythology

Part 4: The Story Map

Part 5: Act I

Part 6: Act II

Part 7: Act III

Part 8: The Finale

Before I start with the lessons I learned and my other reflections, I want to thank @flailingbloo for all of her help and support in this endeavor. Without her to talk to and commiserate with, I would probably have gotten stuck in Act II forever and everything I've written would've been riddled with spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. So my eternal gratitude to flailingbloo. And now, we begin:

Lessons.

Going into this writing exercise, I already knew it was going to be hard. Writing stories is time-consuming, it's nerve-wracking, and it takes a lot of research...and patience. Writing, especially for television, is also not a solitary task. I mean, sure, the writing itself needs to be done alone--but everything that comes before, during, and after the writing needs input from so many people.

Although I have a lot (and I mean A LOT) of complaints about how The CW's Kung Fu was handled and written, I do have a lot of respect for the work that the writers put into their scripts. And I do appreciate all that they have done to have a show like this produced.

Doing this rewrite, I learned that it's really important to make the main character likeable. Like, every episode I broke down, I had to ask myself: is Nicky likeable here? Is she someone who viewers would want to root for? Like, for me she is, but only people who read what I wrote can say for sure. My perspective is now a bit skewered because I have bias.

Second, story maps are very helpful. There were times, especially during Part 6 (where I wrote breakdowns for Episodes 6 to 9) where I kept getting road-blocked by where I want the story to go. So I went back to the story map over and over again, to remind myself--where does the story itself need to go? How do I help the characters get to the point where they're ready for what needs to happen? (This is also where flailingbloo helped the most for me. Like, she really reminded me why I was doing this rewrite in the first place. Because I care about Nicky and the show. I wouldn't have funneled so much of my time and effort into this if I didn't.)

Another thing I learned, or rather re-learned, is the art of letting go. I created the character of Stanley to recur throughout the series as a reminder of who Nicky was and who she is becoming. And then I finished writing the first act without even mentioning him. By the second act, I was ready to use him finally--but, after multiple false starts, I realized Stanley was one of the reasons why I was having a hard time pushing Nicky's story forward. Because I kept trying to go back to the past. So I decided in the writing of the second act to shelve Stanley completely, only to find him popping up in the second to last episode in a, at least I hope, more organic way.

The last thing I learned in this exercise was that, whenever a new character needs to come in, I have to look at my existing characters first to see if any one of them can fulfill the role I needed for the story. Like, creating new villains for Nicky was fun, sure--but, at the same time, I realized that there were already existing villains that could recur. Like the Triad, who played villains in two more episodes after the pilot; and Henry's martial arts class at the community center became the source of two existing storylines from the actual show.

Reflections.

Do I think what my rewrite is better than the show? To me, yes. But, again, I am very biased. That said, I am proud of how I utilized the characters that the show created and didn't really give much importance to. Dennis, when he was introduced, felt like a rich character that could provide a very different point-of-view from the Shen siblings--but he was mostly relegated to being eye-candy. And I thought I gave him more meat by making him more involved in Althea's sexual harassment storyline, while also involving him in Nicky's stories.

That said, I also realize that I wasn't able to play up Nicky and Evan's past relationship as I was writing the episodic breakdowns. I was able to give them a lot of opportunities to explore their chemistry together, as I did with Nicky and Henry, but I kind of dropped the ball as a writer on guiding those planted moments into something more significant. Granted, I only wrote breakdowns and not actual scripts. Maybe I could've explored the romance angle more with a little sprinkle of direction and dialogue.

As I went deeper into the rewrite, I do see how easy it is to fall in love with characters as you write them. It's very easy to trap yourself into wanting villains to be more well-rounded. I keep having to remind myself that I don't have to redeem everyone. Just Nicky. Which became harder and harder as I went further and further into the story.

Another thing that became difficult as I went on? Keeping the mythology from just bursting open. That's how Henry, as I wrote him, evolved into becoming the son of a guardian--just so there's a reason for him to be so invested in Nicky's quest, while also having someone who can explain things to our main character. I'm actually really proud of that evolution.

All that said, I also have to recognize that I rewrote the show with the benefit of hindsight and the lack of budget constraints. In the real show, there's a group of writers who each have their own ideas of what the show should be. (This is where a head writer--not a show runner--would come in handy, so they could reel in the story to what needs to be told.) With more writers comes more chances for inconsistencies to happen. (And this is where a script supervisor, or a writing assistant, could come in handy.) And then there's production notes and budget. Not to mention, you know, the whole pandemic that's still happening. I didn't have to think about those things while doing this rewrite.

So, again, I want to give the writers kudos to actually producing scripts. I hope they haven't lost their minds--or their will to write--just because there are people like me who nitpick at everything. That's what people who love things do. We nitpick because we care.

Moving forward.

I do plan to stick with the real show for Season 2. I hope it's planned better. I hope they get researchers (plural!) and a writing assistant to help in the writing room. I hope the writers would sit down with the cast to discuss and develop the characters more. And I really hope they hire a better fight choreographer and fight director for the second season. (Like, rehire the people who choreographed and filmed the flashback scene in... Episode 11? The one with Nicky's maternal grandmother and Pei-Ling's own mother?)

I hope that the Nicky-Henry relationship gets explored realistically, and if a potential new love interest is ordered, they get introduced in a way that isn't antagonistic. Make them more well-rounded characters too, please. Make us want to root for their success. And while I think Nicky doesn't have an iota of chemistry with Evan, I do like Evan himself as a character. So I hope they get him more involved in future storylines--as an outsider looking in, sure, but also as an honorary member of the Shen family.

With regards to the Shen family, I do hope that we get to explore their relationships and dreams more before the show drops the reveal about Mei-Xue's daughter. I want Althea to have a cohesive storyline that doesn't pause for no reason. I want Ryan to explore being Asian AND gay as a first-generation Asian-American. And give the Shen siblings some recurring friends. They don't have to be semi-regulars (unless there's a story that can be explored) but let's not keep the Shens in a bubble. It was weird in the first season. Especially for Althea whose friends only showed up for her bachelorette party and never again. Not even when she was panicking about wedding preparations, which, considering how rich Dennis's parents were? They wouldn't let Althea be in charge of anything. They would hire a Chinese wedding coordinator. And an expensive and hard-to-book one at that. They donated an entire hospital wing, for crying out loud.

I want Jin to have an actual character, and not just be the supportive dad who loves his kids very much (admittedly my own rewrite also made this same mistake). And I want Mei-Li to be consistent as a character. Like, no more surprise twists about being the descendant of a legendary warrior without proper foreshadowing and plot-planting please.

Dennis shouldn't just be eye-candy. The same applies to Kerwin. Sure, I get that shirtless men are a must in a CW series, but please give their characters some meat too. Dennis's nerd-side was never showcased in the show, and Kerwin had that poor little rich boy background that didn't get explored either. Because the show was too busy keeping him and Zhi-Lan tearing each others' clothes off--when they're not tearing other people down.

Also, don't drop the ball on the tease that Bian-Ge is now everywhere. If I understood correctly, Bian-Ge is Kung Fu's version of Qi. If yes, then I hope they treat it respectfully as a force of nature--and not just the source of magic. The flowers from Bian-Ge itself can be magical, sure, I have no problem with a fictional flower being a McGuffin.

Finally, I hope the show also explores other Asian communities and cultures. Like, Kung Fu is great--but imagine if Nicky had to face someone who is versed in Silat Melayu? Or someone who uses Arnis? Someone who practices Kalaripayattu or Lathi Khela? Or Kuntao? Imagine Nicky having to use Wing Chun against someone who uses Karate or Krav-Maga? Asia is a big continent and there are so many different types of martial arts found from the Middle East to Southeast Asia. Kung-Fu is an umbrella term, so it'll be great to see the different styles found under it.

... This went long again. Sorry about that. Funny thing is, when I started this whole rewriting plan? I thought it would take three posts, tops. And look at us now. Nine posts deep, and it seems I still haven't run out of things to say. So I'm cutting myself off before I completely wear out my welcome.

But if you've read all my Kung Fu posts, please do reach out. Let's discuss the show and what it can do to produce a better second season.

[stimmy-dragons]

Figured I'd try posting some of my lore ^^;

I'm going to try to add a read more, but Tumblr's not a very functional website so we'll see what happens I guess?

Content warnings: Mentions of blood, implied/mentioned offscreen deaths, overall dark tone. Some might find this disturbing, squicky, or triggering. Please exercise caution, scroll away if necessary, and be kind to yourself <3 This is not lore about particularly nice dragons and I wouldn't want to make anyone feel bad by reading it.

This lore is approximately 500 words long and features some second-person perspective:

It was chaos outside the library. Dragons running and flying back and forth, calling in panic, in confusion, in rage. Our-territory, danger-danger-danger, intruder, who, why, who-dares, oh shit somebody call the boss -

You shake your head to clear the memories and take a moment to scent the air as a curl of wind briefly blows in your direction. It carries the scents of ash, stranger, naphtha, melted-plastic, a cloying sweetness, burnt flesh, blood.

The ground shakes. Heavy pawsteps.

"Who did this?" Commands a voice. Deep. Resonant. "Show yourself." A lumbering shape moves across your vision in time with the ground-shudders, where you hide, as ordered, in the shadows of the tall library building.

A Skydancer emerges from the darkness several taillengths from you. Black-bodied with a hard shiny carapace like an insect, pink of wing and feather and mane, elaborately dyed to resemble a skeleton. Her eyes gleam large and blue and she oozes confidence underneath her bright pink goggles.

She walks calmly into a shaft of moonlight, and, settling on her haunches, brings up her front paws to show them empty. Her lurid pink wings rest loosely at her sides, and her head is respectfully turned away from the burly Gaoler looming in front of her. I am not a threat, her whole body says. I mean you no harm. But her white jacket is stained with fresh blood and soot, and her eyes are bright and they are cold.

"I'd apologise for dismantling your guards," she announces, "but, ah...." She gazes disdainfully behind her at the barely-visible charred remains, briefly flicking the tip of her tail in disgust, "Clearly they just weren't up to the job."

The Gaoler is, for a moment, as silent and unmoving as stone, save for the ruffling of his thick fur in the night breeze. Then, "Do you have a death wish, little bird?" he rumbles. The many never-blinking eyes along his sides and tail observe the dragon before him, calculating and shrewd, belying the bored tone of his voice. "There are far less painful ways to die than by wronging the Academy; perhaps you could take a swim in the Wyrmwound, or be torn apart by rabid Mirrors. Who are you and why did you see fit to kill my lookouts?"

(He could have this strange Skydancer eliminated with a single command; Mirrors and Bogsneaks and Nocturne lurk in the shadows, yourself included, a faint hissing the only indication of your presence; or he could simply crush her under one of his great shaggy paws.)

"I hear y'all are recruitin' brains that're up to no good?" It's not a question. The small dragon makes bold eye contact, dropping her paws to the ground with a barely-audible thump. "You could use me," she continues, "I know an awful lot about alchemistry. There's been a lot of chatter as of recent, O' Ancient One." She grins. The light catches on the edges of her teeth. (Curious despite yourself, you creep closer, just a little, lashing your tail.) "Rumours and whispers, you understand," she adds in an undertone. "But there's a common thread through them all: the Academy is open." Her voice is soft, lilting, gentle almost - but her teeth look sharp. Very sharp. "Consider this my application."

[drwcn]

Yes anon! You’re completely right. I wrote a (somewhat long) passage from btsf, a conversation between Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli explaining the details of the engagement, featuring our oblivious boys wangxian. 

-

The contract laid in front of him in black and white, the ink drying as he allowed the finality of the transaction to sink in. Lan Xichen carefully eased the excessive pine resin from his brush tip so no blotches would dribble and ruin the paper. Only then did he fill in his signature adjacent that of Jiang Yanli.

Picking up the cloud emblem seal of Gusu Lan, Lan Xichen considered the hefty weight of the white jade in his hand and the decision he was making on behalf of his little brother. His eyes flicked up, looking to his Yunmeng counterpart across the room and seeing she was about to do the same. Wangji liked Wei Wuxian immeasurably, of that he was sure, or else he would not have fought the Elders and his uncle tooth and nail for this engagement. But did Wei Wuxian feel equally for Wangji? Lan Xichen could only guess on the younger man's reaction to all this, and wondered that as his elder sister, if Jiang Yanli felt the same hesitation he did in this moment as she pressed her signet seal, a lotus carved from amethyst, slowly and firmly into fine white parchment.

If she felt it, she didn't show it. Yunmeng's youngest sect master, their first ever female head of family, was not what anyone had expected.  

When the legalities were complete, both he and Jiang Yanli stood from their dais.

"I hear our brothers are running drills with the disciples. Shall we go see?" she suggested.  

Truth be told, neither Lan Xichen nor his uncle paid much attention to her when the Jiangs came to study at Cloud Recesses. Jiang Cheng was - had been - young and inexperienced, prone to outbursts and became abrasive when challenged. Wei Wuxian, living up to his name sake, was in a whole category by himself, with none to compare. Their sister, however, became something of a surprise. She was, in Xichen's opinion, perhaps the most pleasant and well-mannered young lady of their generation. Not bold nor withdrawn, not somber nor frivolous, amicable yet always knew how to keep others at an appropriate distance.

Lan Xichen extended a hand courteously, "After you, Jiang-zongzhu." [zongzhu = sect master, a gender neutral term]

"Binghu, Shuangxue, you're both dismissed."

"Zongzhu…" Her guards, ever diligent, were hesitant to leave. Since their arrival at Unclean Realm, Lan Xichen had yet to see her without them, which was understandable considering Jiang Yanli herself was not a cultivator and rumoured to be of poor health.  

"This is Qinghe Nie's territory, and I am in the company of Zewu-jun. I am in no danger. You've both been so busy. Take the afternoon off." Jiang Yanli gave them a meaningful nod, to which they bowed their heads and conceded.

"Understood."

Qinghe Nie's Unclean Realm was built like a fortress, a citadel intended for protection and intimidation. It lacked Cloud Recesses' air of tranquility and had none of Lotus Pier's blithe. The oak and stone  surrounding Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli were nothing like the homes they knew, but within these walls, they were allowed a moment's reprieve to breathe.

Even though the formal robes on their backs felt too big for their persons, even if the guan and headdress upon their heads weighed like the combined lives of every loved one they had lost...

Lan Xichen wondered if like him, Jiang Yanli's neck ached under the pressure of the sterling and pearls in her hair.

For now, they were done away with the formalities. He felt it was an appropriate time to discuss this marriage matter, not as sect masters, but as elder siblings who both cared for their brothers very much.

"I must confess," He began. "Nie-xiong was none too happy to hear you've accepted my clan."

"Really? Why is that?" Jiang Yanli blinked innocently, but the corner of her lips twitched, belying her amusement.

"Oh come now, Jiang-zongzhu, don't be coy. Surely you've heard of Mingjue's intention of aligning Qinghe with Yunmeng through Huaisang. He and Wei-gongzi have always gotten along, so it was only natural that Mingjue-xiong thought them well matched."

"I'm sure Nie-zongzhu meant well, and I'm sure when it came down to it, Nie-gongzi and A-Xian may not even have minded, but as you and I both agree, our brothers make for a much more…serendipitous pair."

They strolled across the stone overpass connecting two buildings, pausing mid way to observe by the railing. In the courtyard below, a group of Yunmeng Jiang's disciples in their violet and navy robes were paired with their Gusu Lan counterparts, both struggling through what seemed to be a particularly difficult sparring drill.

At one end of the courtyard stood Wei Wuxian with his arms crossed, his spine straight, calling out instructions over his disciples' huffs, groans, and whines of pain. Straining under the aggressive nature of the exercise, some Lans looked to Lan Wangji posted at the opposite end, hoping he would speak up on their behalf. To their dismay, their Hanguang-jun had no intention of helping them.

Lan Wangji's eyes were solely fixed on Wei Wuxian, on his tall lean figure framed by the dark cape of his uniform, fluttering in the autumn wind. A strong gust swept his hair back from his shoulders, giving attention to the arch of his neck and his comely face. Wei Wuxian, that oblivious boy, didn't seem to notice at all, his attention completely focused on his students. Then from the corner of his eyes, he sneaked a subtle glance towards the Second Jade (who appeared as handsome as ever in his opinion) but it was too late. Lan Wangji had already looked away.  

Lan Xichen chuckled and shook his head. "They needed the push. Who knows how long it would've taken them if we left them to it. A decade at least, I'm willing to bet."

"Yes, but we couldn't have waited that long, could we? You're right, for Yunmeng, I would have agreed to Nie Huaisang, but in my heart, I had hoped I could find someone who would truly love my brother, as he deserved to be loved. I would hate to be parted from him for anyone less worthy."

Jiang Yanli's eyes were downcast, distant.

My brother.

Once, she might've had to clarify which younger sibling she meant, but that was no longer necessary. Lan Xichen couldn't even begin to imagine her anguish. To lose Wangji at all, never mind in the horrifying way she had lost Jiang Cheng, was unthinkable.

"Does Lan-er-gongzi know? The conditions of the marriage?" asked Jiang Yanli, turning to him. The grief Xichen detected just moments ago had completely submerged once again beneath her poise. "Gusu Lan agreed to everything Yunmeng Jiang asked; I can't see that being a very easy sell for the Grandmaster and your Elders. I had thought even your brother himself would've objected."

Not easy was an understatement. Uncle had been apocalyptic, and the Elders not much better. It was no secret amongst Gusu's inner circle that there had been plans to choose a bride for Lan Wangji for some times. While Lan Xichen as Sect Master was positioned to marry advantageously for the purposes of alliance, the Elders and especially Uncle had wanted someone from within Gusu for Wangji, a female distant cousin perhaps, or an outer disciple of grace and good cultivation. At worst, if Wangji were to marry from another clan, it would be them marrying into Cloud Recesses, not the other way around.

But Jiang Yanli had been adamant that whoever Wei Wuxian deigned to marry would be joining him in their sect, and that her brother would not be forced to leave his home and his family under any circumstances. What she didn't say, which all parties perfectly understood regardless, was that Wei Wuxian could not  leave Yunmeng. His position as her brother, her closest advisor, and Yunmeng's strongest fighter made marrying out an impossibility.  

Which was why Nie Mingjue didn't hesitate much to suggest Nie Huaisang, because the younger Nie brother's temperament would have been better suited to a life in Lotus Pier anyway. Lan Wangji on the other hand…

"Wangji knows." Lan Xichen replied. "Once the war is over and they are married, he will be moving to Lotus Pier with Wei-gongzi. He will no longer be privy to the inner workings of Gusu, no longer eligible for the tenure of an elder, and no longer permitted to vote on our internal affairs. All this, he accepts."

By now, the disciples down below have noticed their presence, but the two clan leaders motioned for them to carry on.

Lan Wangji returned his attention to the training, but Wei Wuxian still bowed respectfully to his shijie and Lan Xichen. He seemed so different from the loud, audacious boy wrecking havoc up and down Cloud Recesses. Without Jiang Wanyin, Wei Wuxian was exposed, pushed to the forefront of everyone's scrutiny, the only defense between his sister and heaven, hell, and man.

He knew it, and so did everyone else.  

His sister waved fondly at him. As you were, her gesture seemed to say.

"When you put it like that, it sounds less like a marriage and more like exile. I know my brother; he would not mistreat Lan-er-gongzi, but nevertheless," Jiang Yanli looked up to face him. "Thank you, Zewu-jun. I'm sure the decision was not easy."

Lan Xichen closed his eyes momently and shook his head. "Mn. Not easy for those us he leaves behind perhaps, but my brother has always wanted simple things: family, unity, understanding. He will not have that in a marriage my Uncle arranges for him. Uncle means well, and maybe in time Wangji can learn to cope, to accept, but I cannot. I share your desire to see our own brothers happy, Jiang-zongzu, and marrying another will not bring Wangji happiness. This way, he may have lost some things, but he will still be permitted to teach at Gusu during the lecture season and to tutor our younglings. For him, that should be enough."

Jiang Yanli met Lan Xichen's eyes steadily, in between them hung words unspoken, heavy and binding.

They do not mention that by marrying Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji will yield his position as his brother's heir presumptive and his right to inherit.

They do not mention that any children Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji may adopt or father with subsidiary spouses would belong to Wei Wuxian and be granted no Lan privileges.

In particular, they do not mention the two special clauses that Jiang Yanli had added as a peace offering to demonstrate her goodwill. In the clause, it detailed that in the event of an arms conflict between Gusu and Yunmeng, Lan Wangji may choose to unilaterally divorce Wei Wuxian and return to Gusu and his previous status, to take up arms and defend the clan of his blood. It also detailed that any children fathered by Lan Wangji may forfeit their Jiang status and reclaim Lan privileges in the event of a divorce.

Neither of their brothers knew of the special clause, and they would never know, until they need to.

For the Elders of Gusu Lan, to part with their Hanguang-jun must be akin to an amputation of the limb. Yunmeng Jiang's demands may have been blunt, but these were desperate times, and it saved no one's face to pretend otherwise. Marriage alliance between male heirs were not usually arranged for this exact reason. Issues of inheritance and loyalty too often became messy - or worse - bloody if not laid out straight from the start. Jiang Yanli had hoped that the inclusion of the special clauses would convey her understanding of Lan family's worries and the sincerity of her alliance. She had no intention of making enemies of people from whom she sought support.

"It's cold up here, isn't it, where we stand." Jiang Yanli lamented after a long stretch of silence. The wind of Qinghe in October was indeed biting, but somehow that didn't seem to be what she meant.

Lan Xichen sighed. "I've seen my share of unhappy unions, as I’m sure you have too. Our brothers' will be a happy one."

"I do hope so, Zewu-jun. I do hope so."

[saedii-gilwraeth-simp]

Another World - TDC Holidays - Day 22

Alternate title: “Arsinoe the thirst trap™”

DAY 22

AU: NEIGHBOURS

POV: BILLY

If there was one word Billy would use to describe his mother, he would seriously consider nosy to be one of them. Ruth Chatworth knew three days before they arrived that the Chatworth’s would have new neighbours and she had been preparing baked goods ever since. Billy thought she was going a little nuts.

Three days after she had first started baking, he had heard a truck pull up next door. He had been trying to study but it seemed that the new neighbours were moving in. He assumed they were some old money family and had gone back to reading. No one interesting lived in this neighbourhood anyway.

He looked back up when he heard the laughter. He peeked out of the window again and caught a view of three teenagers moving stuff from the truck. One was short and so pale the sun makes her glow slightly. She was balancing a couple of boxes in her arms, being guided by her sister, who was taller and pretty with long black curls. She calls out to a third person who appears from the truck. She was the tallest and wearing overalls that revealed scarred arms. When she turns her head, flicking choppy black hair from her face, Billy notes sharp scars arcing down her face. Her eyes catch his through the window and he looks away quickly.

~

The same night, Billy and Jane are forced to take cookies next door in order to find out whatever they can that will feed the gossip mill of intense country club trophy wives. Jane and Billy share a look only siblings can understand (it says “we’re gonna tell mum bullshit”)  and then leave with the cookies in hand.

Jane rings the doorbell until it’s eventually opened by the girl with the scars and shaggy hair. Billy and Jane both go very still. She is wearing shorts and a sports bra, a sheen of sweat on her like she had been exercising, but other than that she is showing miles of smooth, tanned skin. She leans a hip against the doorframe and waits for them to speak, a knowing smirk on her face.

Eventually Jane manages to push the cookies towards her and squeak a welcome. Billy is too busy - as the kids call it - looking respectfully. Arsinoe thanks Jane for the cookies with a warm smile that makes her eyes light up and then she’s gone, the cedar front door shutting on them.

Billy and Jane share another sibling look (this one says “fuck” and also “it’s so on.”)

~

The next morning reveals that Jane’s window lines up with the hot girl from next door and also that said hot girls name is Arsinoe. And that Jane got her number. None of which was revealed at the breakfast table, especially since their dad - who was very much unaware of the fact that neither of his children were heterosexual - had returned from “business” (also known as his various mistresses that he thought he was so subtle about).

Jane was awfully smug the whole morning, the way she was when she beat him at monopoly or got the last ice cream cone. Apparently this girl was stewing competition between the siblings and she didn’t even know it.

Billy had never seen Jane as competition before. They usually made their intentions with girls clear, but Billy couldn’t get Arsinoe’s eyes out of his head and he had heard Jane talk about her legs, describing them as being “carved by Michelangelo”.

That was how the siblings had ended up in Billy’s room, watching Arsinoe mow the front lawn next door. Because both were cliche gay (or in Billy’s case, bi) disasters who didn’t know how to interact with cute girls.

It was embarrassing how quickly they were able to dive out of sight every time Arsinoe turned back their way.

“Is this really worth the hassle? We could just go talk to her?” Jane asked as the slumped against Billy’s desk drawers.

“Okay you go. You know that I’m terrible with girls,” Billy said, nudging her. Jane snorted.

“Yeah, because I desperately want dad to catch me flirting with a girl. And you just get guys because all the gay guys in our school think you’re strong and handsome,” she declared and Billy scowled.

“Maybe we should just admit defeat at the hands of Arsinoe’s biceps?” Billy proposed. Jane considered the offer, twisting it in her brain.

“Yeah that’s valid. We should toast to this wonderful defeat,” Billy snorted and knocked his younger sister by the shoulder before standing to go steal alcohol from the cellar.

TAG LIST: @poisonerrose​, @alwaysbored005​, @nataliaarronn​

[keiscait]

Hi! Hope you're doing okay. I saw your matchups were pretty intriguing so I decided to request a bedroom matchup if that's okay. (I would also like to request a living room matchup so should I resend my application?)

I'm a 5'3" bisexual (male lean) female. Golden brown wavy hair till my mid back. Reddish brown eyes. Caramel complexion. Full lips. I also love a little mole on my lower lip on the left side. Lean hourglass.

The only sport I do is swimming (not competitive all the time. Sometimes I do it for the heck of it or for exercise) and I love it. But that's about it.

I'm a Pisces and a Slytherin. INFP-T (Turbulent Mediator). I'm an introvert so I tend to be a little shy at first and opening up to others takes me a while. But once I actually like a person I would literally kill for them. I also don't trust easily. I have been diagnosed with depression so I don't even trust myself when the going gets rough. Although I have been trying my best to get out of it. I'm also claustrophobic so I tend to avoid crowds and cramped places. Also spiders and I just don't get along. I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my arm once and I opened my eyes to see it was a spider and since then I can't stand to be in same room as those bugs. Seriously I'll cry otherwise.

I'm a huge astronomy nerd. Stargazing is the second love of my life. I love reading and listening to music. Music is the first love of my life. I listen to almost every except for heavy metal. Don't really have anything against it just that I end up with a headache after listening to it. My favourite type would either be alternative or pop, depends on my mood.

I'm not into gossiping. More of the deep-conversations-at-3am type of person. Offer me dark chocolate and I'll be your loyal servant of the rest of my life (just kidding... mostly). I love learning new things especially about art and culture. I grew up on the coast so I love nature.

I guess I'm drawn to people who have a good sense of humour and are respectfully of other people's boundaries and opinions. Seriously to me the manners that "maketh" the man appeal more than the genes.

I'm not the confrontational type so I seriously can't stand to argue with the people I love. Also I am a tab bit on the sensitive side (perks of being a Pisces *yay*). Like I don't mean to get overwhelmed by the slightest of things but after a hard day if I come back home to see my favourite snack (ramen) and movie (Tangled) ready, I'm probably gonna spend the time meant for "relaxation" on crying because I just get overwhelmed over unexpected things, I'm sorry. That's about it I guess. Thanks!

((I GOT CARRIED AWAY AND WROTE A MINI FIC HELLO))

Hello and welcome, darling! Thanks for paying me a visit. I hope you’re well, I want you to know that this is a safe space for you. Please make yourself at home (⌒‿⌒) I understand you’d like a bedroom matchup, but unfortunately, there isn’t enough info on here for me to deduce a good one (and I don’t want to half-ass your matchup) 😔 But I’m glad you mentioned your interest in a Living Room matchup, so let’s make our way over there! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

For you, I’ve invited...

Akaashi Keiji! (Runner up: Kozume Kenma)

Akaashi has proven time and time again that he knows how to handle people. His understanding of the different ways people think is possibly his biggest strength, and he knows exactly how to adapt to various personalities. The exact reason why I matched you with him. He’s laid back and incredibly pulled together, so there is no way for him to overwhelm you and will never cross any boundaries you’ve set. He seems like a no nonsense type of person, but is used to chaos, and knows how to resolve it because of Bokuto.

- Your relationship with Akaashi would start out with him observing you first. He’ll notice your little quirks, and will be able to detect any non-verbal cues and signs about your mood

- Even when you guys aren’t together yet, he can tell if you find yourself starting to spiral

- The first time he catches it, he won’t push you to talk about it if you don’t want to (and he can 100% tell if you don’t want to), but will still do what he can to make things less overwhelming for you, even in the smallest ways he can

- In return, he will appreciate the fact that you like deeper topics and interests, as he constantly surrounded by chaos and shallow conversations. Totally seems like the type to prefer having a glass of wine in a quiet place over a bar/club

- Another thing he’d love about you is your bluntness and honesty, as he shares the same qualities. You two would be a team!

- Your relationship would be built on the foundation of trust, as you both let your walls down around each other 

- Once you two are together, he just has to be taught once, then he will have mastered navigating you down to an art form

- He can tell when you need space, or gifts, or words, or a day out, or an evening walk, or silence, or warmth - as long as it’s within his capabilities, he will give it to you

- In return, just love and respect him, and make sure he knows how grateful you are for everything he does!

~

This turned into a mini fic askjdhf I hope you like it! (warning: angst, but with a happy ending)

It was dark.

Somehow, you have made friends with the dark - you’re well-acquainted with the way it envelopes you in its quiet. It is an old friend you’ve had a of topsy-turvy relationship with. It shows up in so many different forms - a cup of your favorite hot chocolate; the coast in the nighttime; a confidant when your music blasts from your bedroom speakers. Sometimes, it’s dusted with stars; this is when it loves you most. 

But tonight, it was not kind to you. You lay there and feel yourself sinking, cries clawing up your throat with no signs of making it out, so they come out in the form of silent sobs. You wonder why the dark allows you no comfort tonight.

Your phone lights up, a message - but you’re submerged in the company of your old friend, too focused on its bellowing silence.

After a few more moments of trying to swim up, something cuts through the vastness of the night, and you’re back on your bed, in your room, now illuminated with light pouring from the hall. You look back and see a figure standing in the doorway - your boyfriend, Akaashi, brings you back to reality.

He observes you for a few more moments, assessing the situation. Nothing he’s unfamiliar with, but he still has a concerned look on his face. He reached for the lightswitch but stops in his tracks. His voice, sweet like caramel, breaks the silence.

“Should I keep the lights off? I don’t want the light to shock you.” You nod, then he makes his way to you.

He sits on the edge of the bed and places a hand on your figure, his movements all taken with immense care and gentleness.

“I brought you ramen. I figured you haven’t eaten yet.” 

You were about to ask how he knew, but he interrupted, “Last thing you texted me was that you were on your way home. That was hours ago.”

“I’m sorry,” was all you could manage. Akaashi just shook his head with a reassuring smile. His hand stayed on you the whole time.

“Please let me help you, my love.” 

He held out his hand for you to take it. Suddenly, you no longer felt like you were swimming up - you were back ashore, and right there stood Akaashi Keiji, like a lighthouse in the night. 

~

I CLEARLY GOT A BIT CARRIED AWAY BUT I HOPE YOU LIKED THAT, DARLING! Remember, you have a home here, please feel free to pay me a visit anytime.

Thanks for dropping by! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[libraribear]

2020 in Review

2020 is in the books. What a year. It seems a given that through life, some years will be good and some years will be bad, and for many 2020 was one of the bad ones. Globally, it feels like it was the worst year ever. Personally, I can’t go that far. So many people have it worse than I do, and I’m leery of writing this post because I don’t want to sound unsympathetic as I count my blessings (before going into the undeniably shitty, but FAR LESS shitty things than what some other people are going through).

Nonetheless, as part of a New Year’s Resolution to create more, I figured I’d polish up this blog and write more, so here’s my 2020: Good, Bad, and Ugly. This is a heckin’ long post so only read on... if you dare.

The Good

I never lost my job.

A lot of my academic colleagues did - basically everyone who had “temporary” or “adjunct” in their title was axed. By virtue of being temporary year-to-year faculty for five years, I was promoted to the tenure-track in 2019. I feel very badly for my colleagues, all who lost their job to circumstance, not merit. Six years ago I took a chance leaving a steady job with a newborn to pursue my goal of being an Academic Librarian.  The job was a one-year temporary position with no guarantee of continued employment, and I worked hard, interviewed for my job twice in five years, and managed to hang on. It’s crushing to imagine what it would have been like to survive all that and get axed because of a pandemic, and I feel very badly for my colleagues who suffered that fate.

I got to spend most of the year working from home with my kids.

Before I get into “The Bad”, namely that keeping a five and six year old on task while working a full-time job is incredibly stressful, the good was that I got to watch one-year-old girl grow and grow and grow every day whereas my two boys were in daycare at that age. I got to spend a ton more time with the boys and my wife too.

My kids live in a school district with resources.

We’ve made a lot of strides in Distance Education, but it still isn’t ideal. I feel like my kids’ school district is doing the best they can to make it work. I feel extremely fortunate to live in a district where that was an option from the start, with full distance, hybrid, and in-person options. Not wanting to expose my kids or their teachers to any risk, we’ve gone full distance the whole time. we chose this to keep our kids as safe as possible, so I hope you’ll forgive me when I go into detail under The Bad as why it sucks for everyone involved. ;)

Ms. Bear and I started Doctoral Programs

File this one under “things I’d have never done if I knew the pandemic was going to be this much of a problem in Fall”, but it’s still a good thing - and definitely not the kind of thing I would do if it wasn’t free through my university. With Ms. Bear it’s more of a life-fulfillment thing and I’m happy that I can help her realize her dream. 

The Bad

Distance Education Requires Training - Students Are Struggling

My college freshmen struggled to adapt to their first year seminar class and I attempted to make it as easy as possible for them to follow along, engage online, have second and third chances to turn in assignments... it didn’t matter. Elementary school students have it worse - my kids struggle to stay on task, and me and Ms. Bear do our best to keep them on task. I feel really bad for those kids whose parents can’t work from home or are too busy to stay on them and help them with distance education. I’m not anti-distance education by any stretch, but the pandemic forced a lot of people to switch to it relatively quickly and since distance education is by its nature very self-directed even with a good teacher/instructor, some people unused to this method really struggle.

I should note that none of this is meant as a criticism of the decision to go for distance education.  Health is most important, period, and those politicians that are like “But think of the children, send them to school” - well, hold them back a year if it’s that bad. I repeated the first grade. It’s better than dying. I worry less about the kids’ educational attainment and more for those kids from bad homes where school is a safe haven/source of food. If you’re that worried about it pass some laws to help. 

The Roof, The Roof, The Roof is leaking water

When you find a tiny leak in your roof, if you can afford it, pay the money and fix it. Don’t wait “because it’s a pandemic and we may need that money”. The money sat in my bank account until the the bedroom ceiling started to drop a few months later. Definitely the decision of 2020 I’d most like back.

2020 Was Not The Year to Reduce Stress.

I think everyone is running on fumes by the time they got to the end of this year. For my wife and I as young parents (can’t help that), full-time workers (gotta eat to live), and grad students (like I said above, if I had a do-over I’d DEFINITELY have waited until 2021, the pandemic represented the steady erosion of all the gains I made the past year. Anxiety? Back up. Overall level of physical fitness and nutrition? I was exercising and eating and feeling really healthy in March, but I eat (and feel) like crap now. 

The Ugly

Misinformation, Misinformation Everywhere... and Politics

Misinformation is nothing new for a US Presidential Election year. But as a librarian whose job it is to promote information literacy, understanding which sources are indeed trustworthy and which are not, this election year was frankly, terrifying for me. I mean, if you know a source is trustworthy because of the standards and norms that are used to govern it, but people simply roll to disbelief it’s trustworthiness... I’m not sure how in the hell you get through to them. Lest this be construed as too political a post (I did get a little political above, hee), I’m going to stress that these information discernment skills that seem to be lacking are skills people on both Team Blue Donkey and Team Red Elephant lack. Add to that the psuedoscience, lack of fact-checking, and the whole “If it doesn’t agree with my worldview, I refuse to believe it” attitude illuminated by the pandemic and I’m not going to lie, this shit is terrifying to me. I’m hoping it’s just a phase we’re going through in America, but geez. I’m not a doom and gloomer, but this year was TOUGH in the whole “Faith in humanity’s ability to reason” department. I’ll listen to anyone’s political opinion if they back it up with well-researched sources and facts, but rather than driving closer to this goal, we’re heading in the wrong direction.

I should note that to me, it’s not just Team Red Elephant that has trouble discerning information, or is duplicitous. I need to make that clear. I definitely lean left and it’s not hard to see why - I mean, I’m a heckin’ librarian for crying out loud. But lying and misinformation or misconstruing facts? Some politicians may be more egregious offenders, but most politicians do that regardless of stripe. I feel politics are more like a teeter totter constantly switching up and down. We do ourselves a disservice when we believe everyone on our team is rational and level-headed and everyone on the other team is evil, stupid, irrational. There was a time when we could have discourse, and through disagreements we could at least learn from one another. I intensely understand the desire to make and justify political beliefs, but they’re not how we progress in a country that’s run the way the US is. Maybe it’s always been this way, but as I’ve aged I notice we have a lot more tendency to anoint a politician of our political stripe as a savior. Whatever happened to the old worldview that all politicians were lying dirtbags and though you might side with them, you could never fully trust them? It seems to have been turned on its head, I’m not sure how, to “Trust my side implicitly, DO NOT TRUST THE OTHER SIDE AT ALL.” That one side could be a bastion of truth and virtue and the other a bastion of evil and ugliness is, I’m not gonna lie, extremely unlikely.

Do as I say, not as I do. I got swept up in the political fervor myself with my D&D Friends - for a time we had a “Just Politics” channel to talk politics. That was a big mistake. Though no friendships were ended, that channel alone intensified my anxiety tenfold (MY FRIEND IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET! I HAVE TO SHOW THEM THE ERROR OF THEIR WAYS!) and... yeah. The BEST decision I made in 2020 was folding and walking away from the political discussion table - but it took me a few months of arguing and stressing to get there. I’ve reverted back to trying to do good for all people in my little corner of the world and the web by treating everyone respectfully and rationally unless they give me reason to do otherwise, at which point I’m far more likely to ignore you than engage with you. I hate that I have to do that, but it is what it is. If I talk politics, it’s privately with someone I know that is sane enough to safely distance from the chaos, or someone I trust implicitly. I won’t deny that it’s a very fascinating subject to me since politics is so ingrained into human nature, but good lord, what a minefield.

UGLY Bonus Edit (I always think of the coolest things to say right after I hit post, after all)

A last thought - whenever we’re confronted with a worldview we disagree with, whatever happened to asking the person why they feel that way or what they meant before immediately labeling them scum on Earth? We don’t even bother to fact check the people we loathe when honestly at worst you’re just confirming suspicions, at best you may even cause them to question why they believe what they believe? I can’t remember the last political or heated conversation I’ve seen where that happened. When I was fighting with my friends on “Just Politics” I don’t think I bothered to ask that often enough myself.   

Anyway, I’m looking forward to making 2021 a better year than 2020. Happy New Year, everyone. Love and hope to you all.

[deandeclan]

TRIAL CLAIM FORM

The amount of effort that has gone into this form and into the expectations that you both have for your relationship is commendable. I’m happy to say that your trial claim has been approved. Congratulations.

Effective immediately TRIXABELLE CORENEO will move into ADAM BEISTE’s accommodations.

Name and Age of Dominant or Switch: Adam Beiste, 35

Name and Age of Switch or Submissive:Trixabelle Coreneo, 22

Education Completed:

Adam: 4 years of Teaching at Deveraux, an undergraduate and a postgraduate in education. My education and experience will not be a problem.

Trixabelle: Two terms of D/s school & a degree in Information and Archive Studies

Length of Relationship:

5 months (known each other for over ten years)

Why would you like to enter into a trial claim?

I have asked my submissive to be mine. I would like to enter into a claim with her, the trial period is a formality. I would like to enter into a claim with Trixabelle as she is my perfect submissive; she is a good girl who works hard to obey all of her rules, she is an excellent communicator, and highly intelligent which allows her to fully understand and interpret my wishes as I communicate them. Trixabelle is my equal partner, and shows this to me every day that we are together. Our morals match, our bodies respond to each other, and I have no doubts that going forward, we will be a strong and loving couple with each other. I am drawn to her as she is to me, and we will be spending the rest of our lives together. A trial claim is a necessary stepping stone to achieving lifelong bliss.

Most simply because I know in my heart I have found the man who’s submissive I would like to be. Up until I started scening with Adam I never really felt comfortable doing scenes or engaging in submission beyond simple domestic tasks however since the very first scene that Adam and I had together I have felt comforted and supported and that is how I would like to feel for the rest of my life. To be even more direct.. I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He never talks over me, or makes me feel stupid or like I’m incapable and more than anyone else ever in my life he listens to me and makes me feel wanted and cared for. I know that no matter what he’ll always look after me.

Do you feel you know your partner well enough on a personal level?

I have known Trixabelle for years as an acquaintance, I know her public persona and who she projects to be to others. I have known her casually and have learned who she wants to be. More recently, I have learned the person she is, in private. I have learned her dreams and ambitions, I have learned her private personality and her humour, I have learned of her history and her views. I know Trixabelle on every level that a person can know someone else, and she has let me into her world. Likewise, she has been studious in learning about me and my wishes. Trixabelle anticipates my wants and needs and I like to think that I do the same for her.

I have known Adam for the majority of my adult life first as a customer at my parents restaurant and then as a family friend, I understand the life that he is looking to make for himself and I feel confident that it matches with my own hopes and expectations. Similarly having known him for so long I am more than aware of his likes and dislikes, and also the kind of lifestyle that he leads. Anything that I don’t know I believe that I’m more than capable of learning over the course of the rest of our lives together.

Do you feel as though you have learned enough about you and your partners limits and expectations of the relationship as a whole?

Our strong communication allows us to continue to be on the same page with our understanding and expectations of each other. Trixabelle and I have discussed what we want, and have no fears in discussing what we don’t want. We will continue to explore our limits together as our relationship changes to become more serious and long-term. And again, we can be clear and truthful with each other to overcome the hurdles of time.

From the first scene that I had with Adam he made his expectations crystal clear, I understand my role within the relationship. We both want very similar things, including wanting a considerable amount of power exchange within the relationship. I know that Adam has a good handle on my limits as he helped me to define my own limits and has been amazing at adapting his immense prowess as a Dominant to fit in with my mental health needs.

Do you feel you both are well versed in what a claim will be outside of the trial period?

We have already begun living as if our claim is permanent. I would not expect for us to act differently in a ‘trial’ period as we would do in our future permanent claim. We have similar ideas about what we will do in the coming years and have already formed a pattern of living together that is flexible but theoretically not dissimilar from the mundane of our future lives.

Yes, like I mentioned before Adam has always made his expectations for me very clear and I in turn have been as vocal as I can about the things that I need from him. We’re both invested in getting married and having a family together at some point in the future, and both would upon the completion of my education perhaps like to move back to Philadelphia to be closer to our families. I know that as long as I’m a good girl, Adam will be pleased with me.

Do you believe you are comfortable enough with each other and the fundamental levels of BDSM as a whole?

Yes. As discussed above, it is my understanding that we are both in agreement of what we want our BDSM relationship to look like, what our role is, and the limits to what we want. As the Dominance teacher at Deveraux, the school hires me to teach my understanding of the Dominant role to others. Therefore, I have a confident understanding of myself as a Dominant.  Trixabelle as a submissive student, is currently undergoing her education of her designation and I support her to do that. She shows me every day that she is up to the task of being my submissive, which is no easy feat, and I am confident in her assurance that I am the type of person and Dominant that meets her needs also.

I am more than comfortable with Adam, there’s nothing that I don’t tell him or that I feel uncomfortable with within our relationship. There is a stress on communication within our dynamic and I know if I was ever unsure about anything that Adam would be more than willing to discuss things with me. I also believe I have a very good grasp on being the type of submissive that he is looking for and the challenges that being a submissive can come with.

Domestic Rules

Breakfast (including coffee), lunch and Dinner must be made daily and presented to me unless otherwise specified.

You will remember that I am your primary concern and that you should always remain attentive to me.

After your submissive duties, your priorities should fall to your school work unless it is something I have explicitly stated as something for you to do quickly.

I am allowed to access to your personal items.

You will not speak to anyone I state is off-limits and will never ignore anyone I state is an asset

You will ask permission to meet up with anyone in the day and be back home by dinner unless given permission otherwise

Use my title where appropriate

You will keep our bedroom clean and tidy, and you will clean other areas of the house when specifically asked to. You may clean your kitchen and study area as long as it takes no longer than half a day without notifying me. Otherwise it is the job of employees.

You will not go anywhere that I state is off limits.

You will use the bank card you have been given, and you will use it appropriately

You will listen carefully to what I say and carry out all orders or requests

You will make a grocery list and restock the fridge

There is no fruit allowed in the house and you will not use it to cook. Though you may have two bottles of berry squash in the house as long as they contain less than 20% fruit content. You may consume and use fruit outside of the house however must be aware of not bringing traces of it inside.

You will not lie or withhold information from me within reason

Do not argue with me and if you must, have good reason to

You will dress respectfully, if you do not I will make you change.

Represent me well on the whole and understand that you are an extension of my reputation

You will eat correctly, maintain a healthy sleep schedule, exercise regularly and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

You will not confine yourself to our living area.

You will wear your collar at all times

If you are upset in any way you will come and speak to me about it and I will deal with it as I see fit.

You will have a decent bedtime and go to sleep every night regardless of if I am there

You are forbidden from planning to get a ‘boob job’ and may not have a boob jon or a boob job fund.

Any major changes to your body or appearance must be approved.

Only approved products and items may be in your hair.

You will keep no pets that I do not know about

Your pets will be maintained by yourself as your responsibility, and they must receive adequate food, rest, and exercise. Their exrement will be hygienically maintained at all times.

There will not be any animals in our bedroom within reason

You will touch no drugs/alcohol without my explicit permission

You will only publicly post appropriate content

Your online content may be edited or deleted by me as I see fit

You will accept any measures that I feel are necessary to protect you

You will always take medication in a timely manner

You will inform me of any guests that are invited over beforehand

You and the guys will keep your spats to a minimum

You are to keep a calendar of birthdays, and anniversaries and remind me of them.

You are to warn me if your Dads are attempting to make contact with me

Any excess mess made in communal areas will be cleaned and maintained by staff only- of which you are not

You must have a passable upkeep on any vehicles you are gifted

If you leaving the house you must notify me, be reachable at all times and carry some form of security and protection

You will monitor all of your conversations with anyone outside of the premises and be discrete with your information

Any attitude or inappropriate jokes from you to me will result in punishment

You will understand that any external forces will be dealt with by me if I deem it a large enough issue

You keep track of and notify me on the beginning and end of my protein powder

If you are hit on/flirted with/etc. You will inform them that you are in a committed relationship and mention the incident to me.

You will only wake me during the night if it is an emergency and will be cautious when doing so in the morning.

When making any big decisions you will inform me of them and allow me to finalize it.

Any new friends you meet up with will be aware of your position in my life and your authority in theirs, if appropriate.

You will never disturb me when I am on a call unless it is an emergency.

You will never disturb me when I am in a class unless it is an emergency, but if you must then you will do so discreetly

You will never disturb anything that could be perceived as business, unless it is an emergency .

You will dutifully attend to your studies and pass your classes but they must never overshadow any other rule.

All large purchases should be run by me

You may not climb on anything more than half your size

Your behaviour will never be risky and you must not ever knowledgeably engage in behaviours which may endanger yourself

I will approve any friends who you plan on spending an extended period of time with in the future

In the case of an emergency you are to act only in your best interests and follow the drills we have practiced

You will use your common knowledge to fill in gaps in your rules to what you know to be my specifications. If you are caught feigning ignorance you will be punished.

I have the right to amend these rules at any time with your knowledge

Breaking these rules will result in punishments which include taking away luxuries etc. Alternatively, following these rules will conclude in rewards

Sexual Rules

You will not touch yourself without permission

You will not come unless I tell you that you can

You will have sex with anyone else

During sex you may refer to me by either my title or my name

You will remember your safeword and use it where appropriate

You will wear the lingerie and use the sexually pleasing outfits and paraphernalia that I buy you

You will schedule in fellatio for me every day unless circumstances do not allow it.

If you wish for anything new to be tried you will request it and engage in a conversation about it

You will not begin the clean-up after until I give permission for it

These rules are subject to change and sex/sexual acts may be withheld or used as part of a punishment or reward system

REWARDS;

Rewards will be modified and will fit the good deed that has been done. Rewards include, but are not limited to, the following;

Your choice of movie or show for us to watch in the evening

Material gifts

Sexual gifts

Praise

Your choice of destination to go together

Cuddling/petting/affectionate touch

Family time with your Dads/animals

Money

PUNISHMENTS

Punishments will be modified and fit the punishable act that has been done. Punishments include, but are not limited to, the following;

The removal of personal items, material items, clothing, or privileges

Time out

Spanking

Eating foods of my choice

Lesser access to the kitchen

Lesser access to cleaning supplies

Lesser access to animals

[tinayoufatlarrdd]

She (iii)

Part one.

Part two.

If there was anything Y/N learned the past years she’d been dabbling in this industry, was that those who survived were those with the thickest mask. No matter what kind of personal turmoil was in the way, unless it’s something to market, it would be meticulously tucked away. So tidy and pristine as if these people had two faces: one for the world and one for themselves.

Harry, especially, was a master of this sort of mind trick. No one really knew how he truly felt behind his charming rockstar persona. He was always so smiley and friendly even in a horrendous day. His extraordinary composure in the public’s eye really was his strongest suit and no one really doubted he would ever cross that lifelong built-up image. (Except that one time he blew up in front of Y/N and ruined her entire career).

So it wasn’t a surprise when Harry came with the warmest attitude to the show venue that day. People would scream his name and he would politely reply with a gentle, ‘How are you?’ even when he didn’t get a wink of sleep the past few nights, overthinking that moment the love of his life slammed her door closed, but this time it might be for good.

He did doze off for a while as he waited for Y/N to miraculously reopen the door and take him back that night, only to find her superintendent waking him up as it was already three in the morning and him curling up by her doorway got her neighbors worried that he might be a homeless person.

“Go home, son,” the super helped him up. “Give her some time.”

He complied. That’s how desperate he was: he took an advice from a superintendent because he simply didn’t know how to fix this mess himself.

He was exhausted and diluted. But no one could see over the dazzling black suits that somehow highlighted his dimples. No one but Y/N.

Y/N knew the moment he walked to the backstage, he immediately put his shades on which meant he must’ve gotten pretty dark circles under his eyes. Y/N also knew the moment he decided to take a small break just right before going on stage, people thought he needed a wee when he must’ve needed a time off before performing, something he did when he felt overwhelmed or not in the right mood. And of course Y/N noticed the moment he just nodded politely to his ex girlfriend, to which she just blatantly ignored, meant he really was finished with her—if he was still smitten, he would be pining over how beautiful she looked in that couture lingerie.

She couldn’t fathom how much she hated herself for knowing this much about Harry. And it made her so angry at herself because it just showed how much she still loved him but at the same time she still couldn’t trust him. She was in so much agony.

She had fun though, taking pictures of the lovely models before they took the runway like badasses that they were. She had the best time of her life in the hasty backstage. The rush and adrenaline just pumped her inspiration up.

That was until Harry started performing. Her eyes were glued to the TV screen right above the vanity and so did the many pairs of eyes in that room. Everyone was captivated by the energy Harry exuded on that runway. He really was a star, even brighter than the gorgeous supermodels.

“He changed the song last minute. Just the last song, though,” Y/N heard the crew whispering right behind her, as if they’re afraid the news would freak everyone out.

“What? Why?” one of them exclaimed but was immediately shushed by the others.

“I don’t know. Famous people are weird as fuck,” the other one snapped.

That, she agreed.

“What about the models? How are they supposed to walk unrehearsed to the new music?”

“He said the tempo is the same so it’s still pretty much as rehearsed. Just different melody or something,” the crew took a collective deep nervous breath. “You know our boss knew and agreed—dude must’ve been very charming.”

“Of course, he’s Harry fucking Styles.”

Y/N was nervous for Harry. He could ruin this whole show and definitely his own career with such impromptu decision. Well, maybe not as plummeting as hers at that time, but he would be slandered if he didn’t nail this. Why would he risk his unblemished reputation when his previous set list was just perfect as it was?

Then it hit her.

The intro was way too familiar for her to miss. The piano subtly kicked in, spotlight fell into the first model who professionally hid her own confusion of the song change. Then suddenly the whole band started playing and Harry came running to the stage with his glorious charisma and sang his heart out.

It was Rolling Stones’ She’s A Rainbow. It was their song. He changed it to their song.

Y/N still couldn’t believe the length Harry actually went for her when suddenly she saw his supermodel ex entered the runway. Her face couldn’t hide it: she was excited because according to her claim, it was their first date song instead. She looked… prepared for Harry to do this grand gesture to her.

Harry knew this time would come, that his ex would walk exactly as he tried to confess to Y/N. He tried to dodge away when she tried to nudge his cheek playfully, just like the other models did, but it happened. And the whole crowd cheered since they thought they were still together.

So he did the only thing that crossed his mind, that would put an end to this love triangle once and for all. As he hit the chorus, he stared at the camera knowing Y/N would watch it from the backstage TV.

“She comes in colours everywhere, she combs her hair. She’s like a rainbow!” he exclaimed. “Coming, colours everywhere. Oh, Y/N… She comes in colours!”

There. He said it. Her name was immortalized in his performance tonight and probably forever because it’s broadcasted live worldwide and he’s Harry Styles.

A loud gasp left Y/N’s mouth and she could see from the TV how his ex was just as surprised but remained posing and smiling so widely as if her grin would hide the unpleasant surprise in her eyes. When she walked back, she didn’t try to tease Harry. Instead she just strode pass him like he didn’t exist.

What happened next was a blur. It was an absolute shock for Y/N and maybe the whole world who all seemed to put Harry’s enigmatic love life under microscope. She went on autopilot mode while doing her job because apparently his fans found their photo together and pointed out that she was the girl Harry sang for and bombarded her phone notifications into overheating. Because of that, his ex girlfriend apparently realized who she was and came up to her. She asked Y/N what exactly happened between her and Harry in a not-so-friendly tone but Y/N was just as confused. She barely answered when the supermodel had to get back to the runway for the closing walk.

This sudden attention directed solely to her was too overwhelming.

She hated being the center of attention. Well, she loved it when it’s about her work but certainly not for this reason. And she wasn’t exactly mad at his gesture too. In fact, it was kind of sweet knowing how outrageous the thing he just did. But she just didn’t know how she felt towards him as a person. Should she forgive him just because he proclaimed his love whilst risking his career for her? Should they start over knowing he could easily betray her trust again?

When Harry finished his setlist, which was spectacular to say the least, he ran to the backstage. He needed to see Y/N but she wasn’t there. He checked everywhere and she was nowhere to be found. He made an appearance to the after party at some exclusive nightclub with only intention to find Y/N, but she wasn’t there either. He wanted to find her but he just didn’t where to start.

Did she need more time? How much more?

“What the fuck was that?” his ex walked up to him as he slurped a glass of apple juice by the bar.

“An apple juice,” he said nonchalantly, not really focusing his thoughts on her.

“No, I know what that is,” she rolled her eyes. “I mean what was that back on the runway? Did you do something behind my back with that girl?”

Harry just sighed. “We dated after you dumped me last year.”

“What? Don’t you remember what she did to me?” she lingered her hands on her hips as if stressing her importance.

Harry raised an eyebrow. “What exactly did she do to you?”

“You know, she… She—“ she tried to mutter some words but it failed to come out because now that she repeated the toe stepping incident in her mind, she herself realized how ridiculous the whole thing was—just plain irritating, ol’ A-list celeb stereotypical antic.

“Thought so too,” Harry mumbled to himself.

And with that suddenly it was crystal clear. He really couldn’t even see what he used to see in this woman. She was not kind, maybe she was in her own version of life that was filled with fame, but not kind enough to treat other people respectfully. And the fact that he changed himself to accommodate that behaviour, run back to her, beg for her love, and leave Y/N who actually helped him find his old self back—it all made him sick to his stomach. He couldn’t let Y/N slip, not again.

Harry quickly said goodbye and made his way to Y/N’s apartment. He knocked so hard, so ferociously that if her super didn’t come out and stop him he could’ve broken the door.

“Please, it’s really late,” the superintendent tried his best to hide his anger.

“Sorry, I just really…” Harry tried to catch a breath.

“She’s not home yet,” he informed Harry. “For fuck’s sake maybe she really did need some time, don’t you think?”

Harry nodded.

Then it struck him like a lightning. She must’ve been thinking and there’s only one place she’d go to in the entire world.

Harry sprung after thanking the super and almost got hit by a car twice on his way. He didn’t even know why he was such in a rush, he just needed to find her as soon as possible. He couldn’t bare to lose her again even for just another second.

Running through the winter air really wasn’t the most fun exercise especially when Harry wasn’t dressed for one. But when he saw her there, it all paid off.

It was the garden where they used to have spontaneous picnics under the stars. It was always her favorite place to pace down, and most of the times it was with Harry. She even used to say that she wanted to be burried there when she died. That’s how Harry knew she’d be there.

No one was there but her, the portable turntable they used to bring, and the shared blanket they used to snuggle in.

Harry walked slowly to her but she didn’t notice. Her eyes were closed and he could hear the muffled melody from her headphone—she must’ve played it on maximum volume to shut the world out, it’s her thing that he just got used to overtime.

She still didn’t realize as Harry sat next to her. He didn’t dare to sneak into the blanket although he could freeze to death. He didn’t want to scare her off again. He just wanted to be there, to see her enjoying her own little world that he was once in, looking like the sweetest creature he’d ever seen.

Harry sat there for almost half an hour, exchanging his stare back and forth from the beautiful winter sky to Y/N. He craved to be a part of her world again yet the harsh winter just kept testing him. It didn’t take long before he started sneezing so awfully that it surprised Y/N so much she jumped from her very comfortable position.

“Harry?! What—“ she saw his red nose and shivering body, and immediately pulled him into her blanket.

She hurriedly untied her scarf, wrapped it around his neck, and grabbed his hands so he’d be warm. And Harry just couldn’t stop thinking, why on earth did he ever leave this amazing person who cared about him just as much as herself?

“Are you warm now? Oh my God, Harry, I am so mad at you!” she screamed but he knew it was of worry. “This is the coldest winter. Don’t you see the news? Are you out of your mind?”

“Yes,” he whispered in between his shivers.

“What?” she asked as she began letting go of Harry’s hands but he gripped her thumbs like a baby, not wanting to lose touch of her.

“I just g-go…” he gulped. “I go crazy without you. Please, come back to me. I’m sorry I’m an asshole.”

She sighed. They just stared at each other but Harry knew she was thinking. There was love in her eyes, but so were fear and anger and doubts. He understood her hesitation, though, so he just savored this moment with their hands clasped together under the moonlight that might be their last, hoping it would never end.

“You really hurt me a lot,” she said lowly.

He could only stare down. He knew he didn’t deserve another chance with her after everything he did, but he wished he could show her that everything would be different. After all, he really knew for sure how he felt now. There’s no room for second guessing in him, no more supermodel first love, just Y/N.

“But you made me happy too,” she said it almost like a mock to herself. “Happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life. Now I’m the crazy one.”

He couldn’t believe what he’d heard that his gaze immediately went up to see her pressing her lips just like she always did when she tried to hold back a smile. He really loved the little things about her, all of them.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“You’re gonna have to work very hard to hear those words from me,” she answered.

His cheeky smile just lit up, showing off his dimples. “You don’t have to, I already know you do.”

“You’re on a fucking thin ice here,” she frowned.

But Harry didn’t care. He knew she loved him so much and that would always be enough even when she never wanted say it.

“That was one bold move at the show,” she removed the headphone jack from the portable turntable and put it on speaker.

“So that wins you over?” he gently laid on his back and opened his arms as if asking her for a cuddle.

There was still lack of trust in her movement considering it had been months since they even touched each other but when she finally laid inside his warm embrace, it just felt as pleasant as it used to, if not better. Harry couldn’t even describe his feelings at this moment—he was just… home.

“That and the warning my super gave me lately,” she answered lightly. “About a tall man with a lot of tattoos sleeping on my doorway."

“Such a tattle-tale,” he rolled his eyes.

She just chuckled. Oh how Harry missed her laugh.

“I love this song,” he said as Neil Young’s Harvest Moon played from the turntable.

They both remembered that day she finally let him in, she played this song too. But they didn’t say anything. They were just enjoying each other’s warmth as Neil Young kept serenading them.

She could feel him nuzzling her hair, a little habit he always did when they’re cuddling and she obviously missed the past months they’re apart. She knew they would need a lot of struggle to rebuild this but she was sure the moment Harry held her hands tightly and put them inside his coat pockets, that he wouldn’t let go again. With them, it’s always the small things.

[patandpran]

The Nuisance and the Handsome Prince - A Sarawatine Medieval AU - Chapter 12

Tine is an aspiring Squire who has been training his whole life to work alongside the Kingdom’s finest Knights. Sarawat is a Prince who, on the outside, seems fierce and unapproachable. He is disinterested in any of his royal duties, namely his Knight training. What happens when Tine is assigned to be the fierce and handsome prince’s Squire?

Find the Masterpost here Read on Archiveofourown here.

Tine caught word of the Prince’s and the rest of the Knights return from some of the nursemaids who weren’t exactly subtle with their gossiping. Tine hoped that Fong was a bit more discreet when he gathered and shared information amongst the castle servant network. The news made Tine’s stomach turn and he wondered if he could get away with spending another day hidden away in the Infirmary.

Unfortunately he had already reported to the Head Nurse that he was ready to be released so his bed had already been cleaned up and he had been shooed out into the Castle Halls without even a goodbye. Tine let out a breath that was thick with stress but quickly shook that off, knowing that he needed to get his wits about him as soon as possible. Thankfully, he had the evening to collect himself before he resumed his station by Sarawat’s side at training the next morning.

Tine wandered through the halls aimlessly, taking the long way around to get to his quarters. It just so happened that the detour he was taking brought him by the stairwell that led up to the East Tower. There was a part of Tine that was scolding himself for this alternative route but another part of him that desperately wanted to catch a glimpse of Sarawat before he had to face him the next morning.

Just as he was about to round the corner to the stairwell of the East Tower, Tine stopped in his tracks as he heard a low voice echo through the hall that belonged to his one true enemy. His feelings for this man never once wavered and now that he was in close proximity with him, Tine wished he could jump into action right then and there but, sadly, his sword was not at his side.

“Son, the Trials are only two weeks away.” The Head Knight muttered, the distaste and disappointment clear in his voice.

What the hell were the Head Knight and Lord Mil doing lingering near the East Tower?

Tine immediately worried for the Prince’s safety, knowing that the Head Knight always pushed his son to be in opposition of the Prince. But, without a weapon, there was little that Tine could do in the ways of protecting Sarawat. Plus, there was a strong chance that the Prince was not even presently in the Tower.

“You are wasting your time standing guard here.” The Head Knight continued when Mil did not respond. “The King ordered that you protect the younger Prince, not Sarawat.”

Tine’s brow furrowed in confusion. What could Mil possibly be protecting Sarawat from?

“Father, as a Knight, it is my duty to protect the future of this kingdom from any perceived threat.” Mil stated boldly.

Tine wished he could observe the interaction between Lord Mil and the Head Knight, rather than just overhear it. The look on the Head Knight’s face at his son’s defiance would have been a priceless image to observe.

“Let me remind you, Mil, that you are yet to become a Knight.” The Head Knight expressed, his tone so dark that it made Tine’s blood run cold. “And if you do not continue on the path that you are intended, you know the power I have to revoke the title from YOUR future entirely.” The silence that followed the Head Knight’s threat hung heavy in the air. Even Tine felt a wave of sympathy momentarily pass over him for Mil. It must be incredibly difficult to be the son of one of the most loathed men in the Kingdom. Tine could not imagine the kind of childhood that Mil had endured but it did not change the task at hand.

Tine was risking being discovered so he decided to abandon his alternate route. He could not stay any longer to try to decipher the interaction between Mil and his Father any longer.  As much as he wanted to see the Prince, it was a daft and dangerous endeavour that would only end up with more pain for both of them. As much as Tine wanted to be the one who protected Sarawat from whatever danger he was facing, at least Lord Mil was there to keep the Prince safe.

+++++++++++++++++

Phukong settled down onto the stands, a collection of parchment spread out across his lap. It was dawn and, of course, Mil was already on the Training field. Phukong did not want to disturb the Lord’s early morning exercise so he sat silently and sketched the rays of sun that were beginning to spill over the trees onto the dewy grass of the field.

Mil seemed lost in another world as he stabbed at the air with his sword, practicing his sword handling skills. Phukong was just happy to observe the man he admired so much from afar. The Prince knew that his affections might never be reciprocated by the Lord but their friendship was more than enough. Phukong would have to learn to navigate the world so that his feelings did not get in the way of their friendship or he feared that Mil would back away from him forever.

Suddenly, Phukong found himself staring into the Lord’s eyes.

“Good morning, Kong.”

Phukong’s breath hitched at the casual way that Lord Mil used his nickname. Lord Mil’s hair was slick with sweat and Phukong couldn’t help but find the image tragically sexy. It was kind of unfair how attractive Mil was and how much harder that made it for Phukong to conceal his feelings for the young Knight in Training.

“Uh…. sorry.” Phukong moved to stand up, his hands full of his sketches. “I didn’t mean to interrupt…”

“Phukong, really?” Mil raised an amused eyebrow at the Prince. “I had hoped with all the time that we have spent together recently that you wouldn’t run away every time that I approached you.”

At that, Phukong slowly sank back down to a seated position. “I suppose you’re right….You should go back to your training though. As I’ve said many times, I do not want to be a distraction.”

“Well, too late for that.” Mil winked as he descended the stairs of the stands back down to the field before calling up to Phukong, “I enjoy the company anyway! Hopefully this will become a routine for us.”

Phukong had to hide his fierce blush behind his stack of parchment. How was he meant to act as if it were just another day when Mil went around doing things like that?

+++++++++++++++++

Most mornings before training, Sarawat, Boss and Man had a ritual of having breakfast together. Boss and Man had already gorged themselves but Sarawat could not seem to stomach the idea of consuming a meal.

“Type made me a new handle for my sword.” Sir Man explained dreamily, showing off the sword that had been delivered to the castle to Boss. “Isn’t it exquisite?”

“I think you think the man who forged it is even more exquisite.” Boss teased, poking Man in the side and earning a dirty look from Man in return.

Sarawat smirked dimly at his friend’s ridiculous antics. It was nice to see that Man looked happy with his new romantic pursuit and that, as usual, Boss seemed to be in good spirits. Sarawat wished he was as care-free as his two best friends but the weight of the world seemed to be pressing down on his shoulders and it was increasingly difficult for the Prince to focus on the present moment.

Tine looked up at him, his eyes full of anticipation and shock. His lips were full and parted in a way that taunted every part of Sarawat’s innate desire. The Prince wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them and, finally, as moonlight dance along his Squire’s hair, he gave in….

“You alright over there, Wat?” Boss cocked his head to the side and stared at the Prince.

Boss’s question shook Sarawat from the memory that kept playing over and over again in Sarawat’s mind. It was both torturous and the only thing that seemed to be keeping Sarawat sane at the same time. The conflict feelings that the memory induced only made the Prince that much more confused about what to do about everything with Tine. For now, he just needed to get through the next two weeks.

“Just caught up thinking about the Trials.” Sarawat lied and hoped his words were convincing enough.

Man nodded sympathetically and made his way over to place a supportive hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t worry about it. With all the extra hours that you put in with Tine, you are on par with Mil and he’s the strongest opponent in the Kingdom.”

The casual mention of Tine made Sarawat tense slightly and he hoped that his friend did not notice. Sarasota murmured, “I hope so…”

“Who do you think Mil will challenge?” Boss wondered, springing suddenly to his feet and taking a power stance. “I know who will be the champion if we face off.”

“There would only be your face in the dirt if Mil decided to challenge you.” Man chuckled and moved away from Sarawat.

Boss stuck his tongue out Man and looked to Sarawat for support, “You think I could take Mil, right?”

“I would fear for you life.” Sarawat stated dryly. “And I say that as a friend.”

“You two sure know how to make me feel worthy.” Boss pouted and fell back down onto the stool he had been perched on.

“You should eat, Wat.” Man urged gently, pushing his friend’s bowl closer to him. “You need fuel for practice.”

Sarawat shook his head. “No, I don’t think I can today. Tell Dim that I won’t be making it to practice.”

“A future Knight and King does not simply abandon his duties because he is navigating something difficult.”

Boss and Man both looked beyond Sarawat to the person who had shared the wise words of advice. The Prince turned to see that Lady Earn had made her way into the Dining Hall and must have overheard some of the conversation.

Sarawat groaned as she approached, knowing that, of all people, Earn would be the one to put him in his place without even knowing the intricacies of what he was struggling with. Sir Boss and Sir Man rose to their feet and bowed their heads respectfully to Lady Earn and Sarawat followed suit.

“How lovely of you to grace us with your presence, Lady Earn.” Sarawat greeted, the sarcasm thick in his voice.

Lady Earn nodded respectfully in return before they all sat down at the table together. Sarawat’s greeting earned him a swift kick in the shins from Earn once they were all sitting down and Sarawat knew he deserved it for not appreciating his friend’s sage advice.

“You know, Wat, I think I can speak for all of us sharing this table with you that we can see something is wearing on you but we also know that you are strong enough to take on whatever battle you face.” Earn explained, her gaze softening as she placed her hand on top of the Prince’s.

Man and Boss nodded eagerly in agreement. Sarawat wished he did not feel so alone with the secret that he and Tine shared but how could he tell even his closest friends that the person who he wanted more than anything in the world was the same person who had abandoned him so easily in the woods?

The weight of the betrayal was heavy in Sarawat’s chest but thankfully having his friends at his side made the situation easier to bear. Man and Boss also reached across the table to put their hands on top of Sarawat’s, along with Earn’s.

“And if you ever need a little extra strength, we are here to give it to you.” Man shared in a way that sounded more like a vow than a simple promise.

Sarawat had always considered himself quite a solitary creature but he was quickly realizing the network of support that had always been there for him, completely in plain sight. He had just been too ignorant to see it for what it was.

“Thank you for making me realize I’ve never been alone.” Sarawat shared with his three friends and wished that Mil was in the vicinity to be able to hear the words as well.

Earn slowly pulled her much smaller hand out from the pile and smirked at the three idiots that she grew up with and adored as if they were her own blood. “I can’t wait to see you three in the Trials in two week’s time. I will be in the stands screaming my lungs out for you but, for now, it’s time for you to get out there. I can practically hear Dim screaming at you for your tardiness already.”

Man, Boss and Sarawat shot up like lightning and scrambled out of the Dining Hall to make their way to the practice that they were already late for. Earn shrugged and grabbed Sarawat’s untouched meal, happy to help clean up the leftovers.

+++++++++++++++++++

Tine’s chest hammered with anticipation as he stood his ground next to Sarawat’s gear. The Prince, Sir Man and Sir Boss were missing from the training field and Tine was growing increasingly paranoid about whether their absence had something to do with him or not. Ohm had given him very little information about how the Prince had seemed for the duration of the trip and Tine knew that if he pried too much, his best friend would become suspicious of his intentions.

Just as Trainer Dim was about to make an announcement, Sir Boss, Sir Man and the Prince exploded onto the field in a chaotic burst of movement. The trio was known for making grand entrances but they truly outdid themselves this time.

As soon as Tine looked at the Prince, his felt his knees buckle. He had to steady himself by grasping onto the reins of Sarawat’s horse. He suddenly felt the urge to scale the castle walls and never return but something kept him rooted to the spot.

Tine could feel the pressure of Sarawat’s lips against his. The sounds of the forest around them disappeared entirely and all that Tine could focus on was the sheer tenderness of the Prince’s kiss. In that moment, nothing else mattered.

“Tine.”

But that was the problem with a memory. You could get lost in it all you wanted but when you are forced back into reality, it’s even harder and more painful to face, especially when all you want is to escape back into that echo of before.

The Prince was in front of Tine and all that Tine could was look at his feet. The intensity in Sarawat’s eyes was too much for Tine to handle at such an early hour and even though he had not actually endured a concussion, a sudden pain had emerged in his head that made him wince.

Of course, this only made Sarawat come closer but Tine didn't have the energy to fight the inevitable so he let Sarawat lift his chin up. Tine felt pain erupt in his chest as he was forced to look the Prince in the eyes. Sarawat’s gaze was so full of concern that Tine had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from yielding right then and there.

“I just want to know that you are fine.” Sarawat whispered and seemed utterly unconcerned by how intimate their interaction was.

The Prince did not seem to care who was looking at them but Tine was starkly aware of the amount of attention that their reunion had caused. Tine peered slightly to the side of the Prince’s head and spotted most of their present company’s focus concentrated on them. Mil, in particular, did not seem to approve.

“Wat, you need to let me go.” Tine murmured, as much as it pained him to do so. “I am okay. We can.. we can talk about this later. I need you to focus on training right now.”

As if in a trance, Sarawat pulled his hand away from Tine and turned to face Trainer Dim. Tine let out a sigh of relief and the pressure that had erupted in his head subsided slightly. Ohm gave Tine a wide-eyed look and mouthed, ‘What was that?’. Tine nodded for his friend to turn his attention back to Dim and Ohm reluctantly followed orders.

The Training session went by so swiftly that Tine barely registered any of it. He was usually the most focused during sessions, determined to learn and absorb as much as possible to help toward his goal but he could not remain in the moment.

Tine was thankful that the Knights were dragged away to a fitting for their Trail attire as soon as the Training session was finished so that he did not have to face Sarawat again. As soon as he was done with his duties, he escaped back to his quarters so that he did not have to face Ohm’s questioning either.

He burst through his door and found such relief in being in the safety of solitude. He was about to throw himself onto the bed when he spotted two scrolls of different sizes on his bedside table. He grasped one and recognized Sarawat’s wax seal upon it. Tine pulled it openly slowly.

East Tower.

Midnight.

S

Tine wondered when the Prince could have possibly sent the message but it must have been before their interaction that morning. Tine found himself tracing his fingertips over the parchment, getting lost in the memory one again before his eyes spotted the other scroll which was much more hastily tied with a piece of scrap twine. He put Sarawat’s message aside and picked up the other message.

Tine,

They have taken Father. I have asked Man to get this message to you as quickly as possible but   I fear that is too late.  I am not sure where they have taken him but he has been charged with High Treason which you know is punishable by death. Please, Tine, find him before something happens.

Remember who you are.

Type