#I am aware this is something that in all likelihood only interests me

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Other theories I have about the conclusion to the Meursault arc, in no particular order and in varying degrees of conviction and likelihood:

Dazai believes he is not going to make it out of the prison and in fact thinks he is going to die. He says that he will make sure Sigma gets out but doesn't mention himself. Says his goal isn't to escape but to kill Dostoevsky. He's also being weirdly open about his emotions. Mind you, I think it would be odd if he were to actually die in this arc given that it doesn't make a lot of sense to me character-wise but. Idk.

Dostoevsky is not going to die this arc. Look, we still know nothing about him! I feel he's a much bigger threat than Fukuchi and that we're just barely scratching the surface with him. We know nothing about his ability, nothing about the V connection, nothing about what he's been setting up for apparently longer than most of the younger cast have been active. It can't end like this for him. In fact, he's the only one I'm adamant won't be killed in this arc.

Gogol is the true wildcard and may end up as a spanner in the works - he says he wants Dostoevsky dead but when Dazai or Chuuya or both gain the upper hand, he sways events to give Fyodor an advantage while brushing it off with "it's more interesting and entertaining like this". The real reason is that he doesn't actually want him dead at all. At the same time, I wonder if he might find Sigma and try to work with him to get the info he wanted. I seem to recall he wanted information on what Fyodor's ability was. Gogol is on no one's side. Let him be chaotic.

Sigma will manage to extract the information from Fyodor - as he cannot kill ability users with his own ability. Based on that one theory that Crime and Punishment only works on non-ability users, hence why Fyodor tricked Ace into killing himself and shot Catgirl with a gun. I wonder if Sigma, spurred on by a new burst of confidence, will take some initiative, figure it out (he's quite intelligent, actually, so I wouldn't put it past him), and get the information he needs.

Chuuya deflected the bullet shot at Catgirl so that it drew blood but did not kill her. Or Catgirl froze time long enough to make a plan with Chuuya. (*sob* i just don't want her to be dead)

They are able to use the info Sigma got to send it back to the Agency, thus wrapping up the DoA arc. However, Dostoevsky has gotten away, which means the four of them - Dazai, Sigma, Chuuya and Catgirl - need to go on a chaotic manhunt/road trip to find him. Chuuya is driving. He is livid at Dazai and is giving him the silent treatment while turning on the radio in the car with music he knows will annoy him. Dazai is shoved in the backseat between Sigma and Catgirl, pouting. Catgirl is revealed to be a kleptomaniac who keeps stealing stuff from them and all the places they stop at. She's not even supposed to be there she just enjoys the drama and the vibes. And poor Sigma does not want this at all but he has some moments where he and Chuuya get to talk and that's somewhat civil. Maybe they end up recruiting Adam for assistance. This makes no sense. :)

Gogol saves Dostoevsky because he doesn't really want him dead. This sends him into a crisis where he becomes more and more volatile and unpredictable. Terrible road-trip #2 electric boogaloo. Gogol keeps trying to kill him and becomes erratic, poisoning his drink, brandishing a knife, holding him at gunpoint. He tries to strangle him but cannot follow through. Fyodor does not care because for as long as Gogol's attachment exists, Fyodor is in control. Gogol knows that for as long as his attachment exists, he can never be free. I am aware this sounds like a screwed up fanfic premise. I want angst. :)

Dostoevsky put something in place for Chuuya on the off-chance that he managed to escape the brainwashing. There's no real evidence for this other than I think it makes some sense that Fyodor would have an emergency measure in place. Perhaps access to misleading information that might make him question things? Idk. Fyodor plays the long game. I want some real effects on the cast.

Got anything to add? :D

[danieyells]

I'm the anon who asked for the Taiga lines, thank you so much for sharing!

I did not have much thoughts on Taiga before, other than him being surprisingly chill despite being a lil freaky but omg seeing his max affinity line along with his line on the ditched future.... the angst is unmatched.

You're stuck with him till death do us part? Whether you like it or not? Especially in a time loop situation, imagine that either of them have a high likelihood of dying within the year. One or both of them have tried to fix it, to no avail. Maybe they were a thing in one of the loops but only Taiga (vaguely) remembers it and that would make the max affinity line extra bittersweet because he's only succeeded at freaking out MC in the current timeline lol.

Maybe Taiga was invested in saving (everyone? himself? mc?) before but no matter what he does nothing changes? iirc he was an exemplary student going on a ton of missions to find anomalies, maybe he thought one of the random anomalies out there had something to do with their situation? But at some point between then and now he stopped giving a shit.

Also I find it interesting how the ghouls are constantly destroying anomalies instead of capturing them. It could be that they just don't give 2 fucks but also can't help but wonder if maybe the older ghouls have some kinda truce like don't bring back any anomalies if you can help it, nothing good can happen by giving the academy/institute more info on these things (bc at the very least Leo in the prologue implies the people up top are responsible for whatever messed up situation they were in, and he's the most likely person to uncover a conspiracy with his skillset + Jin and Tohma want to dethrone his dad as director or whatever his position was, possibly also found out smth behind the scenes)

It's all just speculation but god they are so good a pulling me around by the nose with this mystery when I had 0 expectations of this game (I mean, it still kinda sucks gameplay-wise but the story is so good)

Can't wait for new chapter soon, tho rn I am in gacha hell with wuwa, 18trip and gakuenmas.......

Thank you for being patient about them! I love Taiga so much hahaha

Yeah, the potential is there for this to be something big and for Taiga to be heavily involved in it, or at least the person who's most aware of it so far(Jin's "i know this won't last forever" line also kind of carries the implication that he knows but that has many other explanations.) It would probably be more angst-heavy if his memory weren't garbage lmaooooo THEN AGAIN maybe he'll remember you forever now that he loves you as much as he does haha. He definitely didn't remember you before this, or he didn't show any sign of remembering, so if he knew you in another timeline or you were together in another timeline i suspect he forgot, just like with everything.

As for dying, the PC is going to die within the next year if their curse isn't lifted and the prologue shows that someone else dies in the destruction of the school with the pc still alive(so either before the year is up or after the curse is lifted). So they both definitely have the potential to die in that period of time, if nothing is done to change the future. . ."if death do us part" is something Taiga very well might know will happen eventually. In fact, if his stigma actually does allow him to see the future like I'm beginning to suspect, he might know that that's what going to happen. I mean everybody dies eventually but I mean outside of a natural death.

From what Hyde says(I checked both Japanese and English) Taiga used to play more of an active part in the past, so yeah it seems like he's lost some of his enthusiasm. . .although it's very likely he's referring to that Sinostra's on probation and he can't go on missions at all right now, considering just a few months prior he was on a mission and seemed plenty enthusiastic. But as far as operating as captain goes(he's only been captain for around 6 months as of the start of the Sinostra chapter) it seems like he doesn't put any effort in. . .according to Romeo he only cares about anomalies and gambling, but if that were true he wouldn't care to tell you about the spy because he wouldn't even know. (Romeo also says he doesn't go after humans anymore which is. . .not true, so Romeo may just be blissfully unaware since their relationship is so bad these days.)

It'd make sense if this lack of enthusiasm arose from seeing an unfavorable future and thinking it isn't worth it to try at this point. He does say he's been telling someone(likely Romeo) that things will fall apart if they keep going the way they have been but since that person's been uncooperative with making changes he doesn't see a way things will change. . . .so why should he put in work? I assume he can see the future, not travel through it--hence 'ditch this future' he's simply refusing to play any part in impacting it. Even when he jumps from the ledge in the prologue if you choose to save him, he asks what he could have done to change things. I wonder how long he's been trying.

he doesn't even talk the same was he normally does, so you know it's kinda serious. He would love to know how to prevent this.

As for ghouls destroying anomalies, I think it's a matter of safety in the situation as well as a general lack of powers that can actually capture the anomalies. Most of them have weapons with destructive powers and stigmas that are destructive. But in almost every case capture wasn't much of an option due to safety concerns.

Frostheim had human children present. Jin's stigma only seems to work for a few minutes at best even with the PC buffing him. They didn't have a means to keep the anomaly contained and keep the children safe, not to mention the last living one was about to kill the PC and one of the kids. Like Kaito said, in a situation dealing with monsters it's hard to think to incapacitate and capture them, especially when someone else's life is at stake. To ensure their survival and minimize damage to civilians, the anomalies needed to be killed.

Vagastrom's anomaly was a tulpa and couldn't be captured in the first place. If people kept believing in it it would just reappear elsewhere. People no longer believing in it took it out of existence. No room at all for containment.

Jabberwock. . .well, they know Towa's unstable. Princess Oto severely injured Haru, and Towa wasn't going to let it get away with that. The Kraken and Calamari were allowed to escape because capturing them would do more harm to the ecosystem than good.

Sinostra had to destroy it theirs to prevent the destruction of the casino and prevent harm coming to the general students, Romeo, and the PC. Also Taiga's just a killing machine so--

Hotarubi. . .I kind of think I know what happens with them thanks to spoilers and one of Subaru's voicelines, but I won't spoil it.

If Obscuary doesn't accidentally kill their anomaly because it touches Rui I will be disappointed /joke

I feel like Mortkranken are going to successfully capture their anomaly simply because Yuri wants to run experiments on it. but it does depend on what their Stigmas are. We know that Jiro's chainsaw doesn't actually cut very well(Yuri told him to get them a Christmas tree and he said that his weapon doesn't cut stuff very well) and we also know that Jiro does all of the fighting in Mortkranken, whereas Yuri is ineffective in combat. They have the highest chance of capturing anomalies I think.

so like. I think that ultimately in those situations it was kind of the safest option for everyone present, killing the anomalies. Cornelius acts like 'just capture the anomalies it's easy!' but these are life or death situations. There were so many in Frostheim's case that they had to collapse a building to reduce the risk of them getting back out to the public. On the other hand, Jin probably could have teleported at least one of them back to Darkwick before they collapsed the building or instead of them killing one, but in the heat of the moment that probably doesn't occur to him as an option--also he probably wanted to make sure the pc was okay since he'd never be able to use his stigma again if she died, so going back in there to pull one of them out wasn't going to happen. Also he may or may not be rebelling against his dad, president of the Japanese branch of the Institution.

So I doubt it's something like an agreement between the third-years. I feel like it's just coincidence.

As for what Leo says in the pre-prologue, by then he would definitely be in on the situation simply because he's paying more attention than others and Alan is about as subtle as a firework no matter how hard Tohma tries to keep things secret. But maybe he gets roped in instead, since his power would be beneficial--they just have to make sure they can trust him first. . . . He does say that someone is responsible, but I think he means that regarding that life sucks, not the catastrophe occurring? Although that very well might be referring to the people at the top of the Institute too. . .on the other hand I would assume it's referring to whoever the spy is working with, and the Institute themselves aren't bad people(although Jin's dad sounds kinda like a piece of shit.) That or the Institute is the problem, or the prophecy somehow. . .if I could see the Japanese text I could see if there's a difference lol. . . .

Jin is going to inherit the position of president I'm pretty sure. I don't think that's a matter of usurping or anything like that where "Jin becomes the new president" is like, they take down Jin's father first. Like I'm pretty sure this is a familial inheritance thing--I feel like it's a "you're the eldest son so you're expected to take on the position of running the company" deal. You see it all the time in manga with office/business settings. Even Haku is supposed to take over the shrine his family owns. I don't think Jin and Tohma are dethroning Jin's father, it's just a matter of 'we need to prepare you to be in power here, you need to learn to be responsible and better than your father so you can do better than he does.'

BUT. YEAH. A LOT OF THEORIZING AND STUFF but I'm definitely surprised by how into it I ended up getting haha. My hyperfocus said "yeah I fuck with this" and now I'm stuck here. I don't really remember the abandoned concept they originally had(afair I was more unique than the current one, which is trying to stay in line with what's popular with the industry right now) but I really still would've loved to see it. . .but I'm still enjoying the current result and looking forward to the new chapters. (One week away for Hotarubi!!! Home stretch, just gotta survive one more week of work!) I feel like it's much less of a mystery as more. . .slowly growing suspense haha like it feels like a mystery because of the investigation we do as fandom, but the story itself is gonna reveal everything eventually. . .probably. So it's just anticipation on our parts hahaha. (And yeah the gameplay elements are uh nonexistent haha. Pretty sure the only reason I'm able to keep up with the chapters is because I spent money. 🙃)

Good luck with your other gacha games tho!! Fortunately the only other gachas I play I've got pretty good units for so I'm not so worried about what pulls I do or don't get. . . . I hope all of your future pulls are what you need them to be!!!

[alpaca-clouds]

Living with AuDHD

I wanna talk about something a bit more personal this week. Because I think it is something that a lot of people still know painfully little about. Not on my personal level, of course, but in general.

I have AuDHD. Meaning: Autism and ADHD. Which often goes hand in hand (by now it is assumed that about 50% of all people with ADHD are also somewhere on the autistic spectrum). To be quite honest with you: ADHD is exhausting. Autism is, too, but only because the fucking society does not show any fucking understanding for it.

I did not get diagnosed as a child. Mostly because I was a "gifted" kid, and my mother liked having a "gifted" kid more than having an autistic kid. (This is your frank reminder, that there is quite a high likelihood that there are in fact no "gifted" kids, only neurodivergent kids whose brains are wired a bit differently, allowing them to process information in a different way as well.)

And sure, by some standards I am "gifted". When I am interested in something, I will just gobble up that information. My historical knowledge comes from this. History is interesting to me. So, sure, I can give you names and dates and can draw you freaking maps by heart.

Same of course with fandom stuff. I will just absorb all that information about a fandom. I will just read through the wiki, and just... absorb it. Really.

There is of course other stuff. I perceive space very differently from neurotypical (and even some other neurodiverse) people. Which is useful for navigation.

But there is of course just... the other stuff. Because this world is not designed with people like me in mind. Working 9-5 just does not really work for me. Often enough my brain is just unwilling to focus on work for that long. Even with ADHD medication it just does not work out. Especially given that work often is stuff I am not terribly interested in, so my brain is kinda like: "Fuck this shit."

And if course there is just the interpersonal stuff. People tend to be assholes towards neurodiverse people, because we do not stick to those social scripts they are aware of, but we just are close to unable to learn. I am gonna talk about this a bit more tomorrow, but... yeah, the tl;dr is, that people think it is totally fine to bully us and harass us, because we do things they do not understand.

This also leads to us often having big issues with self-confidence, struggle with self-doubt and are often fearful of social situations. Not just because they tend to be exhausting, but also because we will get confronted there for breaking rules, we do not know about.

So... yeah. You know. I would not want to be "cured", because there is nothing fucking wrong with me. I just want the fucking society to understand me.

[jennilah]

I think i started to follow you bc of tiny!cas, like eons ago, let me tell you seeing you get into different fandoms over the years has been a delight.

I remember seeing post of you going like 'hey these slasher film kinda go hard' and look at you know.

I mean this in the best way possible, I feel i've been watching a house plant grow, every now and then catching my attention and being amazed by the changes

omg thats such a sweet way of describing my... well happy autism awareness day everyone, its a nice way of describing the way i naturally transition through my Special Interests lmfao

actually, for the holiday, let me infodump about this very aspect of my brain to anyone who isnt aware how this works for me. (also every autistic person is different, so this is just how this symptom manifests in me)

ill say "phases" to simplify, though thats an unfair word because it implies im "over" my past phases. 99% of my past phases are pretty much there for life, but in the back of my mind. (So long as I didnt have a "bad breakup" with it for some reason, which is rare but happens) The ability to become a raving lunatic about it is dormant until someone asks the right question.

There can only be one interest (sometimes 2, with one being the less dominant one) at the forefront of my brain at a time, though. that defines the "phase".

so for example, my recent Halloween phase is "over" and I am 100% fully into Saw now, but I still absolutely love Halloween and Michael and Jason and all those guys. as evident by me still happily sharing gifsets and art and buying merch etc if it tickles my fancy. They're just hanging out in the background of my mental display case.

yea whoever follows my tumblr for a very long time has watched it happen in realtime. the transition between interests. i know for a fact which phase I started this blog on. if you're here from the beginning, youve seen, in order:

-Durarara!! -Deus Ex -Supernatural -Godzilla -Detroit: Become Human -There was like a few weeks where it was HLVRAI -And then it was plants. There was a year-long stretch with no Special Interest and I was latching onto odd things (and I was very inactive here) -Halloween & Friday the 13th -and now, Saw

I have many other things I love, but they don't clamp around my brain in quite the same extreme way.

my phases can last any amount of time, anywhere from a few short intense months to 5+ years, its completely random, completely unpredictable. even the interest itself is impossible to predict. its not something i choose, its something that happens to me.

sometimes i avoid watching things for a long time because im still very emotionally attached to my current phase and im genuinely afraid the shiny new thing will replace it. all art or fic ideas for the previous phase? theyll be abandoned. all I will want to create will be related to the new thing. (though I will sometimes draw it anyway, like digging up old toys to play with once in a while. The likelihood just drops considerably)

which is why right now i pretty much put a pause on the other franchises I plan on watching. I'm genuinely gripping onto Saw like someone is tryin to take it from me.

and then sometimes im like "haha yeah right. ill be fine. ill eat my shoe if my brain latches to this" and then put on the movie and by the credits roll im a new person (yes thats what happened with Saw. I really had no idea.)

this is also why im terrified of even just "checking out" things that have, like, a toxic fanbase or something, because i cant stop a new phase from happening if it does. and its really hard to keep it to myself, fuck

(do u know how mad i was when i realized i was attaching to hoffman the evil dirty cop??? i was so scared of drawing him, dudes. but thankfully everyones been cool abt it and we're all very aware of his awfulness & we have fun w it)

and every time my brain changes and i do get obsessed with some new thing, i get really scared and worried and hope I dont bother everyone who followed me for something else :(((( and yet, every time, im absolutely floored by how many people choose to tolerate my newest nonsense and stick around anyway

anyway ive lost the plot of what point i was making here OH YEAH thank you!

tl;dr: that would be the autism! thank you, it WILL happen again! that is a threat! 🥰

[voraciouspangolin]

Had a dream that I used a bariatric wheelchair to get around. The reason I had a wheelchair was unclear, however the notion that I Needed the wheelchair and that it was part of me was cemented in my head.

I remember specifically the muscle memory/workout it is to propel and navigate a wheelchair. In my dream, I was still able to walk, and could get up and walk around. The reason for why I was able to walk was unknown, I just could. I remember feeling a distinct shame, terror, and guilt at getting up off the wheelchair to walk around. Especially considering my dream took place in a crowded plaza/hotel/food court area.

And so, in my dream, I was filled with anxiety and terror about having to explain to other people the reason for why I have a wheelchair, and for why I am still able to walk. An acute awareness of my own situation that made me deeply uncomfortable in my own skin, not dissimilar to how I felt (and sometimes still do feel) when being asked questions related to my own disabilities and chronic illness.

In reality, I do not need a wheelchair. I have never used a wheelchair on my own. The times I did use a wheelchair was when I broke my foot and had to go to hospital for follow up visits on it.

I find it interesting how, in my dream, my disability took the form of something acutely visible and unignorable- something that isn't what I truly experience. In reality, I struggle with chronic and debilitating fatigue, physical weakness and atrophied muscles, and pain. I do not use a walker like I once did, I do not use a cane, I do not use any mobility aids. I am growing stronger every day, and I am fully capable of independently going about my day without any physical assistance. So, my disability is largely invisible.

And because of this, I have to spend agonizing amounts of time explaining to others, specifically teachers at school, my whole life story up until this point- in order to justify why I can't do a full course load and why I most likely won't be able to attend every day. I am pretty sure that the agony of explaining ones disabilities to others is very much still present for folks who do have visible disabilities- perhaps even more so. However, my experience is the only frame of reference I have. And that frame is agonizing.

I am a believer that dreams are simply the brain equivalent of dumping all the ingredients in your kitchen in one pot and seeing what happens- that the brain just takes whatever you've been thinking about, worrying about, what you've experienced, what you're anticipating, basically whatever you spend your mental energy on- and mashes it all together.

And so, I don't think dreams are some kind of secret gateway to understanding the truth of life. I believe that dreams aren't prescriptive- they don't foretell or allude to what's to come, they don't show you a reality that you can attain. But rather, they are descriptive. The only hidden knowledge that dreams can "unveil" is a clearer picture of what you were already thinking about. That can take the shape of desires you didn't know you had, too- the mind is powerful in that subconscious wants and desires can be fully ignored and dismissed. But even the fact that you think about these things means that there's a likelihood that you dream about them- Because that's what dreams are made of. They're made of your internal world. And how you feel about your dreams once you wake up can influence how you perceive them. For me, at least.

And so, I can attribute this dream to my growing anxiety at starting a new school year- a new highschool year- the first year I go to highschool without the friends I was supposed to graduate with last year. The main thing my anxiety is centered on is having to explain to a brand new set of teachers the intricaties of my life story, and my disability that isn't visible to the naked eye.

There is something deeply shameful and degrading about having to reduce myself to tears, because that's how my body automatically responds to big emotions, any time I want to genuinely explain why I can't do things the way others do. Explaining myself requires a level of emotional honnesty and vulnerability that, without it, my explanation would be seen as insufficient or "just excuses". There is something so defiling about having to bare yourself in all your rawness to some school staff, simply to justify why I can't be faster, why I can't give in all my assignments, why I can't take more than 2 classes at a time, why I need an elevator pass, why I'm 18 but still taking classes a a year or three below my age group.

Perhaps the reason my disability took the form of needing a wheelchair was because in my mind, somewhere, I hold this ignorant belief that life would be easier if people could look at me and understand what's wrong. That people would automatically understand me and not ask deeply personal questions. That I'd be left alone and afforded dignity. In my own dream where my brain tinkered with this idea, I was proven wrong- *I* didn't even know why I needed a wheelchair, and I spent every moment that other people were within my vicinity terrified of any questions or comments others may say. I couldn't even explain myself even if I wanted to! I didn't know WHY I needed the tools I had! I just had this bone-deep sense that I NEEDED those tools!

But, in my dream, I was already preparing answers for what I could say if someone did ask. And all of those scripts to follow and "what ifs" came as answers to the specific comment of "I saw you walking. Why do you need a wheelchair?" As well as the undercurrent of implications charging that statement like a lightning rod.

In response, dream me figured, I could say things like "oh, I can walk a little bit but-" or "oh, well, you see-"

And I never got further than that. I could never figure out what to say past the preemptively apologetic and meek tone of voice. I didn't have an explanation for why I was the way I was. I was visibly disabled. I used a wheelchair to get around. And yet, that did not make the degradation of explaining myself to others any more tolerable. Even IF I Did know why I needed to use the wheelchair, I suspect that I would feel much of the same. I would still feel the shame and anxiety and terror. I would still feel like others' opinions on the validity of my disability rested on their reaction to my preformance of an explanation.

Man. Much love to all the wheelchair users out there. And those who use mobility aids. Straight up, shout to all disabled people. The world is a fuck.

[anisaanisa]

Limerence: The Masterpost ☆

I couldn't miss the opportunity for another canon-flavoured masterpost, so here I go again with Limerence. This collection is a prequel to Homecoming, so if you're not ready to say goodbye, by all means, carry on! The structure remains: above the cut lies links, and below lurks a prompt breakdown where I attempt to justify everything that just happened. Onward!

Tumblr: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Read it on AO3 ▶ Previous Masterposts: Homecoming〡Evermore

This is your rest stop. Beyond the Keep Reading banner are many words and manga caps for those with a vested interest in Inuyasha headcanons/meta/anecdotes. Snacks applicable!

The Personal Bit ☆

ALRIGHT, masks off besties. Are they your OTP? Cause they’re my OTP too, and we should consider bursting into flames about it together (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥

I didn't think I’d participate with writing this year, until about a week before the event, when I was frying-panned with some notions. As a fellow bearer of the curse, it started with a seedling of Kagome looking out for Inuyasha in the modern era, whether she realised it or not and even if, logically, she knew better, and snowballed from there. So, I blasted through each prompt with the intention of keeping them short, and after a survey back, each chapter grew deceptively longer, and I thought: why not add a stair [100 words] to Kagome's case for each day?

This particular canon universe is approached thusly: the prompt is the starting point, and the characters do the rest. I don't control the narrative, the narrative controls me, type thing. Hence, chapters are plot-negative, and times skips are abundant. Anyway. Enough waxing!

Note: I am working with the Viz English translation of the Inuyasha manga with some anime filler for seasoning, and the timeframe for the 3-year separation falls loosely between 1998-2001.

Final Note: Limerence spoilers start here.

Prompt Breakdown ☆

Day 1: Love Language(s)

Summary: Kagome's been distracted. Or, I hc that Kagome spent a good amount of time away with the fairies (and trying to catch up with school) when she first got back. Thoughts and Feels:

Love Language(s) were coined in 1992; the likelihood of them being such a commonly adopted phrase/ideology was as slim as Kagome knowing what her friends were going on about. They're a relatively new conception of navigating romance, but that doesn't mean buzzwords didn't make it into those teen mags we remember so well, though! Point for fuck it we ball!

For better or worse, friends are gonna be a tad nosy, and Kagome’s definitely were. Consistently and without fail:

Chapter 23, Volume 3, Mask of Flesh ☆

—and how else to feel her “snapping back into the room” in 100 words, if not when confronted with mathematics?

Chapter 411, Volume 42, The Kind One ☆

Fun Fact: There is a small high chance I spent the most time on this one overall because trying to spin a tale in 100 words is wild.

Day 2: Possession

Summary: Kagome acts on impulse. Or, I hc that uncanny resemblances might ruin a girl's day out. Thoughts and Feels:

Okay, yeah, okay, technically the baseball cap didn't happen in the manga. But this is why filler episodes are good for the ecosystem, or something.

Shock can have a lot of side effects. Confusion, agitation, complete and utter lack of personal or road safety (to name a few), and in Kagome's case here, shoving Inuyasha-shaped familiarity under her nose when she least expected it had her acting up, because not only has the well been sealed off for X time, she was used to him acting up whenever he stepped foot in the modern era:

Chapter 392, Volume 40, A Peaceful Meal ☆

Her friends still care, though! Cause that's what friends are for! As wild of a creature as Kagome can be, they're aware of her “struggles” with her health, and are oddly used to her odd ways:

Chapter 35, Volume 4, A Little Imp ☆

Fun Fact: I rewrote that last line, like, 7 times. The free writing tag is actually fake news.

Day 3: Safe

Summary: Kagome's has a nightmare. Or, I hc that a brave face doesn't do much when she's at her most vulnerable. Thoughts and Feels:

If you've ever had nightmares/night terrors/sleep paralysis, you'll know how, well, terrifying they can be. Lucid states between sleep and wakefulness has a nasty way of warping perceptions, and with everything Kagome witnessed, her dreamscapes had to be vivid, especially after her stint in the jewel, where reality and fantasy blurred real bad, and what's worse, it taunted her about it:

Chapter 554, Volume 56, High School Life ☆

To further that point, Inuyasha gets brutal - beheadings, graphic slaughterings (sometimes at the hands of an MC eheh), you know, justgirlythings - and therefore toned down for television, as anime adaptations often are. Kagome was 15, and while she did that, it would leave a mark. Trauma, guys. We're talking about trauma now.

If the reference was caught during her tiny tale: the scene with Mama H being shook to fuck over her baby glowing is anime-only, but I really dig the idea that she knew something was up with Kagome from Day 0, really aided in reasoning why she was so okay with her daughter doing all that, thank you for understanding. Another point for filler!

Fun Fact: I…barely remember writing this one, actually, truly, read it back a week later like: don't know her. I love her like any proud mother, though!

Day 4: Modern

Summary: Kagome asks a question she doesn’t like the answer to. Or, I hc that curiosity killed the cat. Thoughts and Feels:

The trickiest one, in terms of setting. I spent too much time looking into the availability and flavours of historical records in Tokyo (particularly 2000ish, bc digital archives weren't that hot then) and came to the conclusion that while yes, it was possible for her to gain access to [something], no, it wasn't very likely she'd come across any death records, (specifically Koseki) for her friends, with the added bonus that family names are notably lacking until 1868. But take Kagome's resourcefulness + Japan's love for paperwork, and it led me here – to some kinda fake archive with fake books and fake names that could potentially be somebody that she used to know. And while I try my best to be respectful of the people and the setting I'm writing within, I asked myself bluntly, if I really gave a fuck about being accurate in this regard/fictional setting, and the answer was also: no. There isn't a Sunset Shrine either, so a fictional National Archives with The Right Documents there shall be.

Of all the Fuedal-Inuyasha characters, I feel like Sango is the one that would have Done Something to leave a mark, somewhere written on paper. You know...Badass Women For Agriculture Union [codeword for demon slaying], something. Yeah, Miroku was a holy man, but we're not talking about history right now, we're talking about Herstory.

And finally, that moment. The one where Kagome almost cracked and unleashed self-inflicted rage on some guy, cause time didn't cease to exist for them. The thing about Kagome, apart from her being an all round great character, is that she isn't tame, nor timid, and certainly no shrinking violet. But where she's brash and loud and (sometimes) quick to anger, she's also kind. And reasonable, and at the core, a wonderful person, and that duality is what makes her so lovable, relatable, and fun to write. Lookit her:

Chapter 175, Volume 185, Where They First Met ☆

Fun Fact: I really wanted to point out that Kagome was supposed to be in her high school uniform, but writing restriction said naur. Irrelevant. Also, this is my favourite chapter. Weird, right? Haha?

Day 5: Heat

Summary: Kagome hears a bump in the night. Or, I hc that stranger things have occurred than a random bout of sleepwalking while living with PTID (Post Traumatic Isekai Disorder). Thoughts and Feels:

There was a small blip in time where this chapter skewed Mature. Explicit, even. Something about imagining a certain someone in a compromising position, but then the wind changed direction, and I went for literal heat. Japanese summers are stifling, and heat...is hot. Ace card, go!

Lunar charts and such: they don't add up when you compare two points in time, 500 years apart. But there could still be some peculiar celestial moon stuff that led a sleep-deprived Kagome to have a gander at the moon, especially when it's new.

Chapter 140, Volume 15, The Other Side of the Well ☆

Inuyasha had a brilliant way of turning up when she least expected him, or staying away when she wanted to see him the most. There are little things that happen, like an open window or remnants of a dream that might stay with her upon waking, to lead her to think-maybe it was him?

Chapter 287, Volume 29, Mimisenri ☆

BEHIND THE SCENES REVEAL: Kagome was the one who opened her door and tried to feed the cat, but it didn't work, because sleepwalkers are silly. Easter Eggy Subtext: Buyo is the catalyst, but Kagome is the key. Think about it.

Chapter 494, Volume 50, Two Worlds ☆

Day 6: Courting

Summary: Kagome tries her best. Or, I hc that Kagome gives it the old college effort, a la jewel illusion. Thoughts and Feels:

Kagome's family want the best for her. Kagome's friends are boy-crazy hen-peckers. Hojo is cute, and has always shown an interest in Kagome. Therefore: it would be wild to assume she didn't at least say yes, once, to going out with him, even if she knew it really wasn't going to go anywhere:

Chapter 140, Volume 15, The Other Side of the Well ☆

Sometimes you have to do things to understand how much you don't want to do that thing. At this point in time, Kagome's coming up for graduation, she's spent almost 3 years dealing with everything that happened to her, and she's not a complete tool. However, the mind wanders, especially when you'd rather someone else's company:

Chapter 69, Volume 8, Sensing Presences ☆

She's going to give the modern era one last shot – because while romance isn't everything, it can be part of something – before throwing in the towel and saying fuck it, I tried. And as Kagome's will Kagome, she'd want to make an effort for the sake of others:

Chapter 35, Volume 4, A Little Imp ☆

Fun Fact: This chapter (and the next) ended up floating around 1.5K at first draft. I'd like to formally apologise to the words lost in transit, you will be missed.

Day 7: Smile

Summary: Kagome comes home. Or, I hc that Kagome finally puts her wants, needs and feelings first, and those might suspiciously man-shaped. Thoughts and Feels:

Yeahyeah, the “I never thought I'd write this”, we've all seen it. But it's true! Never thought I'd write a chapter retelling, and this one is that fact's poster child. They aren't my bag (to read or to write) but the ending was there all along, obviously:

Chapter 494, Volume 50, Two Worlds ☆

The right wish, the wrong wish, a selfish wish, a selfless wish – as many Isekai's go, wish fulfilment is a huge part of the narrative (not just for Kagome, but so many of the characters) but she, unlike others, had a huge weight on her shoulders about making the right one that I wanted to tease out that moment where she gets it:

Awfully familiar cap is familiar, Chapter 558, Volume 56, Tomorrow ☆

Are you sure you're supposed to be there, Miss Thing? Life doesn't end just because you finished a job, or have to feel beholden to a sense of home. Home can be anywhere! Home can be a person! You can do it, bestie. Do it for her! Her is you! Go Kagome!

Chapter 79, The Fruits of Evil ☆

She made her dreams – from acing school, to making her family proud, to seeing Inuyasha again – a reality. There's really nothing more I can say about that, it's all there. She chose herself! And that included him! Ain't that neat!

Fun Fact: In Japanese, Inuyasha calls her a baka. In the scanlation, he calls her an idiot. In the English sub/dub, he calls her an idiot. In the Viz translation (the one I refer to most) he calls her a fool. Imho, in English, he says idiot, cause Inuyasha has zero respect and carries that no-finesse kind of rizz. Bless him.

Bonus Fun Fact: Chapters like this are why I'm such a flaming monster about writing advice being a tool, not a rule. Those last two lines, without the use of But and And at the beginning, would not carry the same weight and timing I wanted to achieve, therefore, you can pry them as sentence starters out of my cold, dead hands.

The End.

Weehee! This could have been way longer (you're thinking how, I'm thinking I'm proud of how restrained I was) but alas, we've reached the end. Thanks again to @inukag-week for hosting the event of all time! I love them sooo much. Sososo much, they're the best little guys 🎉

If you have any questions, comments or concerns, click here to send me an ask! I love not shutting up about them 🛸

ttyl bbs 🤸

[murasakiirohana]

Shino for the character sample 👀

give me a character and i'll give you a sample of how i'd rp them II Accepting

He is contemplating when the appropriate time, if at all, would be to announce his presence. In most circumstances, he would simply let the bugs do the talking, but his team had decided upon using these shinobi to gain more intel and he did not want to fail them. Of course, one could be persuaded to talk if enough bugs were involved. He knew that by experience. Shino could just leave a few bugs to gather the intel for him--- but that would take longer and time was of the essence in this case.

So, confrontation it is--- though the fact they haven't even registered his presence makes them seem less competent than anticipated and therefore the likelihood they have anything useful to offer is slim. It wasn't like he was working very hard to conceal himself after all. He wasn't even that far away. They might just be guarding something inconsequential after all, but some info is better than none.

He approaches with caution, because even if they seem incompetent, he would be remiss if he didn't execute his usual level of awareness. He sends a few insects ahead of him. They still don't notice--- or at least they didn't until he was almost there and then one of the ninja seemed to have entirely lost his wits once he spotted one on the other's cheek. Well, it seemed like insects would be the way to go in the instance after all. He distracts them with several more beetles before he appears in front of them and has a wall of them block their exits behind them

"You don't seem very fond of insects, which is unfortunate as they have much to offer. These ones, however, are not here to offer you anything of interest, but they will happily engulf you if you do not offer me anything of interest. Therefore, I would suggest answering my questions with haste. Why? Because they are only as patient as I am."

[saezurufeels]

Is Yashiro working the Sakura family to spend time with Doumeki? I have seen people say that it is to protect Doumeki but I think in this case Yashiro can’t really protect him. I am a little confused on that. I thought it was to both keep an eye on Doumeki and to able to spend time with him.

That's an interesting question! I'll try my best to outline what I know about all the different players in the yakuza plot, how Yashiro got involved, and whether his motive has changed. Feel free to correct me if I missed something!

Here's a quick overview of the three yakuza syndicates involved in this plot, and their subgroups/affiliates (which I had to type up and screenshot from a different program, because Tumblr's post editor sucks so much ass)

Thanks to Doumeki’s memory, the Sakura Group discovered that the survivors responsible for Niki’s kidnapping are linked to Okuyama. Those survivors, formerly part of Kyouseikai, are now part of a violent and reckless non-yakuza group called Ryuuzu, who work under the Okuyama Group. The Okuyama group is an independent organization under the bigger Kyokuseikai (not to be confused with the former Kyouseikai a.k.a. Niki's kidnappers).

One of Ryuuzu’s leaders is a man named Kai, who's likely a former member of Sakura Group that left with Okuyama. He is arrogant, disrespectful, and dishonest, even to his own bosses. Kai appears to be acting on his own accord, and letting his underlings run wild and create conflict with other yakuza groups without consideration. Besides the Sakura Group, Ryuuzu has also come into conflict with a subgroup of the Doushinkai— according to Muraji that subgroup was gunned down by Ryuuzu. Misumi informed Yashiro of this incident before Kido kidnapped Yamakawa. In other words, Ryuuzu already messed with Doushinkai before starting drama with Sakura Group.

As we know, Muraji is aware of Doushinkai’s interest in Okyuama, because of what Ryuuzu did to their subgroup. Muraji believes Yashiro is working to help Misumi find the link between Ryuuzu and Okuyama. Remember, the Doushinkai has close ties with Okuyama’s parent group, the Kyokuseikai. If Kyokuseikai’s subgroups are attacking Doushinkai’s subgroups, it’s bad news— the yakuza is all about respect and honour, so if anyone undermines you, they must be punished, honour must be restored. In all likelihood, Misumi wants to have concrete proof before officially accusing Okuyama of any wrongdoing.

However, Yashiro denied working for Misumi (ch. 48), claiming he is only after the money that Kido swindled from him, which is now in Yamakawa’s hands. But in chapter 50, Nanahara and Yashiro told Doumeki that they would be in trouble with Misumi if they didn't investigate Okuyama. Because of those remarks, Doumeki relented and brought them to their affiliate club to investigate a theft they suspect was committed by former members of Sakura Group a.k.a., current members of Okuyama Group. I assume it doesn't matter which they find first, Ryuuzu members, or Okuyama members. If there is a link between them, interrogating either group will bring out information.

So what’s the truth, is Yashiro investigating Okuyama and Ryuuzu, or is he after the money in Yamakawa’s possession, or is he secretly protecting Doumeki? Personally, I think his initial intent was the investigation into Okuyama, but as time went on, he probably sensed that trouble was coming. In fact, Yashiro sensed trouble when Inami called him to inform him of Kido’s hit-and-run incident. But now Yashiro knows just how much is on the line...

Let’s summarize what Yashiro knows: 1) Ryuuzu's connection to Niki's kidnapping, 2) Tsunakawa’s reaction to the news of Kyouseikai survivors/Ryuuzu working under Okuyama (obviously it means war), 3) Doumeki is a key player in this war, because he is Sakura Group’s best chance at identifying former Kyouseikai members. He's also extremely reliable not just as an investigator, but also as a muscle for the group. That being said, it’s in Yashiro’s nature to prevent bloodshed, minimize damage, and protect those he holds dear. It wouldn’t at all surprise me if Yashiro intends to see this investigation till the end, if it'll allow him to keep a close eye on Doumeki.

In any case, I don’t think Yashiro joined this investigation for the money. He’s never been the type of person to get himself and his subordinates into danger, especially not for money. Plus, Yashiro was already cashing checks, so he has no reason to act desperate. Yashiro knew Kido was scamming other people also— why get involved in a complicated situation? Why visit Ryuuzaki in jail to get info? It all just seems like too much effort and too much trouble. I can’t picture Yashiro doing any of this voluntarily for just some cash.

In other words, Yashiro was made to do this, and there is only one person that can make Yashiro do something he doesn’t want to. This was Misumi’s request. Yashiro was looking for Kido, because he knew that Kido was backed by Ryuuzu (Inami's intel), and Ryuuzu is responsible for gunning down the Doushinkai subgroup. He wanted to find Kido, not for the money, but for information about Okuyama and Ryuuzu.

Now, I know that in ch. 48 Yashiro told Doumeki that he only heard about Kido's involvement with Ryuuzu AFTER he started the chase, but I think that was a bit of an overstatement. Yashiro may have asked Inami about Kido's whereabouts because he wanted to collect his debt, but I don't think Y started chasing Kido until Inami confirmed Kido's involvement with Ryuuzu. Why? The flashback of Inami in ch. 48 is the exact same image of him when he called Yashiro after Kido's hit-and-run, which occurred before Y began physically searching for Kido. So, contrary to what he told Doumeki, Yashiro actually was aware of Kido's involvement with Ryuuzu from the start. I'm not surprised Doumeki was suspicious though, given that Yashiro brought up the possibility of another yakuza group's involvement with Kido back when they captured his brother. Doumeki correctly deduced Yashiro's knowledge and Muraji was also on point with his assessment based on what he knew about the Doushinkai and Yashiro's relationship with Misumi. Yashiro can't easily deceive the Sakura Group, well, except for Kamiya lol

But ofc, Yashiro still kept his true aim a secret, as always, because mystery has always worked in his favour. That’s his M.O. Nothing new. He gave the same debt-collection narrative to Muraji that he gave to Ryuuzaki. But, the fact that Yashiro told Doumeki the truth about Misumi’s request in ch. 50 makes me think that Y’s primary motive has changed. Yashiro wouldn't give up information that easily unless he is trying to mislead and/or there is a level of trust with the person he's working with. Anyway, I hope that answers some questions about Yashiro's collaboration with the Sakura Group

[true-blue-sonic]

Your mention of Silver actively tracking Nega down to stop him when Sonic always stops Eggman despite not actively looking for him most of the time (stuff like Colors is the exception and not the rule) made me realize the difference between the Eggmans. Eggman wants to stop Sonic above all else, he wants everyone to see him take Sonic out, and so he's going to advertise his plots when it's time. Eggman Nega doesn't have that mentality from what we see of him in the Rush and Rivals games, he seems content to do things behind the scenes. It feels like it'd take awhile for this to really sink in for Silver, wouldn't it?

I'm not so well-versed on many of the older games and ones that Silver is not in, but I believe Eggman indeed has the tendency to pop up like "sup bitches I got the Emeralds and am going to unleash a monster now and here's my epic robot army too, have fun trying to stop me :>" or something along those lines when the Emeralds are already taken, the monster is getting unleashed that very moment, and the robot army is already completed. In any case, Eggman is always already busy. To give some examples: in Sonic 1, he'd already captured plenty of animal friends to put in his robots and such. In Sonic CD he'd already captured and begun terraforming Little Planet. In Unleashed he's got a whole armada high up in the sky, primed and ready. And in Sonic Adventure 2, he freed Shadow without anyone of the good guys knowing what was going on, with Shadow's likelihood to Sonic being the catalyst to getting the heroes involved. Generally, the heroes don't actively chase him down before he can form a new plan or begin building a new army and such: only when he is quite a ways already do they end up involved, it seems.

It is more difficult for me to pinpoint whether the same applies for Silver, namely whether he also comes in when Nega is already busy or if he tries to intervene before Nega can pull something off and just happens to be too late. The reason for that is that Silver only tends to come onto the scene when Eggman Nega has been busy already in both Rivals games, but he's got awareness of his plans already and directly states he 'comes from the future' to bring Nega back to their own era. And Nega's plans can only be acted out in the past (getting rid of Eggman, unleashing the Ifrit), however Silver manages to be there without fail to stop him: how does he know what Nega is up to and that he has gone to the past and why if he didn't somehow kep an eye on him? For example, in Rivals 1 Eggman had already been trapped in a card, but Silver is well aware of what Nega's camera can do and is hounding Nega down to get him back to the future. And in Rivals 2, they're collecting Chao at the same time, it seems like. I think Eggman Nega might try to be more discreet, but Silver's long learned that he is not to be trusted and always has a new plan brewing. I feel like it would be an interesting contrast between Silver and his friends if he is more active and they are more reactive when it comes to stopping the local mad scientist from taking over/destroying everything, since it would suit his role as person from the future coming to the past to ensure things don't go to hell, but I do not have much concrete proof from the games for that, unfortunately.

[pjsk-writin]

As far as the lactose intolerance thing, I think it's literally just cause lactose intolerance is incredibly common but not very severe, and because dairy is such a broad food group so it's more of an inconvenience to avoid.

In my experience people with mild allergies will often eat that thing anyways, myself included, but since random food items that cause irritation (lavender in my case) are incredibly less common than something as broad as lactose, it's never really something that comes up often. I don't even mention my allergy to people asking about food restrictions because it's so specific and unlikely to pose an issue, and since it's a mild thing in my case that'll just cause a really itchy mouth. When you get that specific the only people who really have a reason to mention their allergy are those where it poses a major risk. I've got a buddy with celiac and bread can like, REALLY fuck them up. Whereas I have a slight dairy sensitivity that I don't even take seriously because my biggest risk is some painful inconvenience.

Also I've just met way more people with lactose intolerance than I have with random allergies or food conditions outside of it. While I have met people with aversions that are incredibly broad (corn is the biggest one, it's in literally so much here in the US under so many names), the amount of people I've met with lactose intolerance outweighs that by far. Like...

I don't think people realize how little of the world can drink milk without digestive issues. Lactose intolerance is, as mentioned, usually mild, but when it is really severe to the point where people NEED to outright avoid it, I've found people to sometimes instead opt to say they have a dairy allergy, as it isn't uncommon for people to hear lactose intolerant and assume it's a light restriction in all cases.

So yeah! I think the "lactose intolerant people love cheese" thing is caused by the sheer number of those afflicted and the likelihood for it to come up in conversation due to how broad of a restriction it is, as well as how mild lactose intolerance is in most cases.

I am aware that I am diving into an unrequested ramble off of a lighthearted joke, it was just a good excuse to talk about a bizarrely specific topic I've taken interest in in the past. I'm such a dweeb. 'Origin of a jesting notion about a specific food aversion.' Great subject to sit and ponder about, past me.

OH YOOOO thats actually really interesting !!! ty for the info weheh <3

[begrudginglytumbling]

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

Time for the next installment of my Bai Yu Sitting Project.

Unlike Part One, this'll focus on just one drama because the damned thing is 38 episodes long and I'm pretty sure the man spends a large majority of his time sitting, leaning, and/or lounging.

It’s called Grow Up, a medical drama that I cannot find English subtitles for, and it's been around long enough that I doubt I ever will. But, hey, things like this are the whole point of trying to learn the language, right?

So, those willing to join me in the continuation of whatever this is turning out to be, get yourself comfortable and head on under the cut, this is gunna be long.

For little weirdos like me doing nonsense projects like this,Grow Up is a veritable treasure trove. I mean the man does this in the very first episode.

He makes them put the box down and immediately sits on it and pulls a leg up. And he’s making a point, I get it, I mean I don’t understand it, since, y’know, it’s all Chinese and I can only pick out a few characters, but why did the leg have to go up? He could’ve sprawled, done a bit of manspreading that I know he is fully capable of after watching this. But no. Leg up. Only one foot may touch the floor.

So, yeah, it’s a treasure trove of sittings and leanings and loungings. Even though his character, Xie Nanxiang, is technically only a ‘support role’, I’ve still managed to gather about 70 screenshots, and that doesn’t actually catalogue every time he sits, leans, and lounges.

I was going to try and whittle the screenshots down, but I couldn’t bring myself to really do it. I think I managed to cut about three? So when I say this is going to be long, I mean it’s going to be long and pretty image heavy.

I have however made attempts at organisation. So instead of just a random array of images, I’m going to group them under sets...that’s filming sets, not position sets.

We’ll start off with the nurse’s station/desk. You know those tall desks you get on wards? Yeah, if they were on that set then it was pretty much guaranteed Bai Yu would be leaning on it. And if he wasn’t leaning on it initally, then he would be by the end.

I didn’t take a screenshot every time he leaned, I managed to rein my madness in enough to not do that at least, but I’ve catalogued the different kinds of lean.

The first is the common arms crossed lean, which, I will grant you, makes sense to use, considering I don’t know anyone who hasn’t leant on this kind of desk like this.

The second is the single arm lean. He didn’t need to lean here. Would’ve been fine to stand. But this is Bai Yu we’re talking about. So lean he did.

Third is the casual backwards lean. He probably shouldn’t be leaning here. I’m fairly certain that’s one of the chaps they refer to as Laoshi talking to them. Everyone else is standing respectfully. Bai Yu? Nah mate, Imma lean.

And lastly - if a surface is at butt leaning height, Bai Yu will take advantage.

Something I’ve noticed while watching this (and bear in mind I skipped most of the non-Bai Yu parts), more often than not, Bai Yu is the only one to be leaning/sitting/whatever posture he’s taking. It’s kinda fascinating.

The next set is the hospital in general, so corridors and rooms that aren’t the staffroom because that’s a whole set in and of itself.

This one made me giggle, because the moment the woman he’s trying to impress left, he practically flung himself back on this bed and got comfy.

Like, did he need to do that? Probably not.

Was that going to stop him? Of course not.

Just as a side note, is patient privacy a thing? Like, yeah, they’ve the big curtains to draw around the bed. But that’s a big window, with no curtains, no frosted glass, and a path beside it. Are you inviting the general public to a show? The lack of cover is just begging nosy passersby to look in.

Of course leaning is a common occurrence in the hospital. But if you put a bar at Bai Yu butt height you really can’t expect anything different.

Also it always throws me when he turns sideways in the doctor’s coat. From the front, it gives him a width he doesn’t have, then he turns and suddenly goes flat, and you have to blink because for a moment you’d forgotten just how damn skinny the man is.

I dubbed this the ‘no help. just lean’ shot. Those are his parents, yet why would he help packing when there is a convienient windowsill at butt leaning height?

The vending machine is also a favoured leaning post, both in sickness and in health.

For the final lean of this set, can you spot him? This is an example of Bai Yu leaning while everyone is standing. It’s a legs crossed side lean.

And look at this. He gets up shortly after this, but of everyone in the room, he’s lounging on the sofa. He could’ve been standing like the rest of them. But that wouldn’t have the same effect now would it? I’m beginning to wonder if Bai Yu’s penchant for leaning, sitting, and lounging is not just him being...well him, but also an indicator of Bai Yu being a very clever man and a rather good actor.

Now then look at that face. Regardless of how ridiculous this Project is, I shall always be grateful to it for giving me the expressions Bai Yu has in this scene. His pouty, disgruntled, get-me-off-this-ride face makes me want to squish his cheeks.

I also find it endlessly amusing that although he is topless in this scene, great efforts seem to be made to keep him more or less covered as this is not one of Those dramas that have a Designated Bath/River/Body of Water Topless Scene.

Also injury and illness counts because he gets to spend his time lying about on a surgery table.

And finally for the general hospital set we have...this.

Everyone else is sitting on chairs and stools.

Bai Yu?

Weird animal toy thing.

He could’ve sat on a chair, a stool, even the floor. But no. He chose to sit on this. How is that even remotely comfortable?

(Still with me? We’re almost halfway...kinda. Maybe I should split this drama into two posts. We’ll see how long the next set is first)

From inside the hospital we move to the outside, because that’s natural progression right?

Outside the building we can encounter things such as the common sprawling lounge. He seems to enjoy hooking his elbows over things.

Then he will head to some planetarium type thing where they have the screen on the ceiling. And, just, I know he’s having some kind of emotional issues, with angsting over failed relationships and whatnot (ok to be fair I’m only assuming that’s the case given everything that’s going on, even though I don’t understand what’s being said). But! Bai Yu, sweetie, precious, dearest darling man, get your goddamn shoes off the headrest of the seat in front of you!

I want to bundle him up in a cuddle and thwack him with a rolled up newspaper at the same time.

Bai Yu and cars.

I’m becoming vaguely convince the man has a magnet or something in his arse.

And just look at this.

Bai Yu, sir. What’s that saying?

Once is chance, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern.

Y’know, I don’t know why, but I was actually surprised he could do sit-ups.

He was doing them before he was interrupted by the girl, then he ended up doing more with the bloke. Of course he didn’t get his arse off the ground when the bloke, one of the teachers/mentors, turned up. Unlike the girl who popped up to her feet.

There is something oddly appealing about the image he makes laid out on the grass though.

I mean, she looks like she’d probably welcome the sweet release of death, and if they’ve just done exercise then same, girl, same.

But he just makes you want to curl up next to him and have a nap or something.

This bar scene...*sigh*

He could sit in a chair.

But no. He chooses to lean on the pillar.

And when he does decide to sit. Does he pick a chair?

No.

No he does not.

The angsty roof, where people seem to go to have a bit of a cry or emotional stare off into the distance.

For a bit of context, this is how people tend to be on that roof.

They stand, they might lean. They have their angsty moment.

But Bai Yu?

Bai Yu is not built for this boring sort of crying angst.

No no no.

He must do more.

So he sits on the bloody wall, crossing his legs over the thin metal bar that is probably cutting off his circulation, while he has his emotional moment.

How did he even get up there? That is not a short wall. You can’t boost yourself up like it’s a kitchen counter. The pair standing next to each other in the context images? The taller one is Bai Yu, just look where the top of this wall comes to. There is no boosting onto this.

So did he hop up onto the table, then the wall, and walk around the edge until he got to this spot for his angsty moment?

*sigh* this man.

Last ones for outside the hospital.

They are, oddly enough, of instances where Bai Yu isn’t sitting.

I know, weird right?

But look, he could be sitting. The sofa is right next to him, and he falls asleep there not long after this. And it would make sense to sit on the sofa, or at least the arm of the sofa because that photo he’s looking at was on the table top, not on the shelf below it.

This is an instance where he probably should be sitting.

But no. Bai Yu goes against that and instead he just crouches. Because that makes sense right?

Then here!

Everyone else is sitting.

He has the perfect place to sit right behind him.

But he remains standing for the entirety of this scene. There is not even a hint that he might sit down in such a fashion as I’ve come to expect from this man.

But maybe, just maybe, that’s the point.

A point I’ll look at more in Part Three, because the length of this would be truly ridiculous if I kept going.

So! Next time on the Bai Yu Sitting Project! Dorm Rooms and Staffrooms! Awkward angles and did-your-roommate-seriously-just-tuck-you-in? moments!

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

[day-at-rhodes-island]

More Closure analysis has been requested, and who am I to refuse? I wanted to go over her past and analyze all that potential angst in more detail anyways.

I would like to preface this with the fact that these are all only possible sources of angst with varying degrees of likelihood to actually play into her character. All of them, none of them, or any combination in between, may actually be a real thing weighing on the mind of Ada Church.

I prefer to go with as much angst as I can get away with, but that’s just me.

So, let’s get into it:

Closure doesn’t like all the vampire stuff.

This is the easiest one, for reasons that should be obvious.

While she tries to play it off as a sort of ‘it just wasn’t my style’ thing, we know her disinterest did create distance between her and her family.

You also have to consider the very strong possibility that it happened the other way around. Her family may themselves have been the reason for that distance, and her general rejection of vampire culture is a result of that. This seems particularly possible if you lean into the Ada Lovelace connections.

If you take this one a bit farther, it’s possible Closure, being a younger vampire with a recently developed sense of empathy, may actually not like that she is a vampire at all. Having a conscience while also being a cannibalistic parasite can’t be easy, and even though she currently has access to blood substitute, vampires live for a long time, and at some point that will no longer be the case.

Leaving everything behind to join Theresa.

Closure, suddenly and without warning, cut all ties and left her previous life. She may not have been very close with her family, but she had friends, and we know that after Theresa came calling she lost contact with them.

How close was she to these people? Did she tell them she was leaving? We just don’t know, but I can’t imagine it was a painless process.

Loss of free will at the hands of the lord of fiends.

We know that, on some level, Theresa’s arts influenced Closure’s decision to leave with her. At the bare minimum they acted as a conformation that this was indeed the real lord of fiends asking her to do this, but it seems very likely her decision to leave was not her own.

Already kind of fucked up, but that’s just the beginning.

After joining Babel, Closure’s principles and ideals underwent drastic changes. By all accounts this was for the better, but this shift was also towards the ideals held by Theresa.

Would Theresa have, over the course of her time working with Closure, deliberately changed who she is? She has the power to, and while taking away the free will of others is against her ideals, she’s not afraid of using her powers if she thinks it’s the right thing to do.

We don’t know, and what’s worse, Closure doesn’t know. The demon king’s arts are subtle, and considering how important Closure was in the restoration of the Rhodes Island landship, she would have a reason to spend the extra effort to ensure Closure continued to be on her side.

Closure wasn’t aware of the existence of these arts, but she may be now. Even though I don’t think Theresa would have done that, the thought alone would be more than enough to keep Closure up at night.

And if she was manipulated to be who Theresa needed her to be, does Kal’tsit know?

The fall of Babel.

Everyone else who remembers Babel is to some degree messed up about it. W is an interesting case to compare Closure to for this, because she also made the spontaneous decision to leave her life as a mercenary and join Babel, and we know how she took Theresa’s death.

Closure seems to have been relatively close with Theresa, I can’t imagine she doesn’t have any trauma from the whole ordeal.

With all that in mind, consider Closure’s outward persona. She is always smiling, always making sure people get what they need, and she never gives any indication that something might be wrong.

I might assume this was just sub-par writing, but Arknights doesn’t do shallow characterization, and it’s not like they avoid giving their characters issues.

To contrast, Kal’tsit puts up a wall of professionalism that we have not seen anyone get past except Closure and Theresa. Closure’s all friendly but she never really makes herself vulnerable either, and every time she gets close she quickly backpedals to a place where she’s more comfortable.

The thing is, I don’t think the silly bat act is really an act either, it seems to be a genuine expression of at least part of her personality. Closure may just be ignoring any problems she might have, to the point that she may have even convinced herself that she’s fine.

Closure is a great character.

[thetaekookcloset]

Hello. I read your introduction on Jikook and it seems you took the effort to check on that ship ‘biggest’ hits to form an opinion.

I wanted to ask if you are aware of other ships ‘evidences’ as well. I am not in the fandom for long but Long enough to notice that every ship has their ‘If X ship isn’t real, then explain this ‘ …

So I wanted to ask about Jinkook. It is a very small ship compared to the big one but like every ship, their have their believers.

One of the ‘evidences’ it seems to be that JungKook is caught calling Jin ‘Yeobo’ more than once, sometimes correcting himself. It seems it’s a term only used between couples … meaning darling, honey or something like that. And not a very common term at all outside of this kind of relationship.

Do you know these occasions? What do you make of it?

Sometimes I wonder that people focus a lot on Taekook and Jikook and if it’s. Ot possible that, if a relationship really exists, if it’s not one of these low keys, very disreet and almost unnoticed like Vhope and Jinkook that nobody is looking.

Anyway, what do you think of these (about 3 different occasions ) that Jungkook called Jin Yeobo? ( imthink Jinkook shippers have other things also but this one is the one I found more suspicious).

By the way, I don’t believe in Jinkook… But maybe it’s because i don’t see it.

I’ll be honest, I’m definitely not as up on the big ship moments outside of Taekook and Jikook.

The thing about Jikook is that they do seem different to me.  Not in the sense that I think there’s actually anything going on between them, but with Jikook, I do think there’s a certain combination of tension and visible closeness that -- after looking into them more for myself early on -- I learned didn’t seem to have any indication of romantic interest or intimacy to me, but which I can understand other people leaning into and seeing the possibility of something more.  To me, their relationship reads so consistently as bro-y that I can’t say I really get it, but I at least understand the jumping off point, if that makes sense.

With Jinkook, on the other hand, I don’t even see that much.  I think you’ve really hit the nail on the head with your last sentence, anon: a lot of this stuff just comes down to the vibes we get, and with Jin and Jungkook I just truly don’t see anything other than an extremely familial platonic bond.

Because of that, I’m obviously not really going to see any possibility of the two of them being together romantically.  In fact, I feel like out of everyone in BTS, Jin and Jungkook have the bond that seems the most like true family to me.

They obviously love each other a lot, they go out of their way to bug each other but also comfort, and find comfort in, each other, and at the same time, keeping in constant close contact is clearly not a huge priority to either of them (based on the fact that they seem to often not even have each other’s phone numbers saved).

As far as their “shippable” moments, most of what I’ve seen very much seems like the stereotypical clips that have been slowed way down, tiny instances played over and over again because the “interaction” they’re meant to be showing is so brief that it’s hard to catch, and moments where the shipper is apparently a mind reader and can explain exactly what the members involved are thinking based on nothing more than completely normal eye movements.

I hadn’t heard about the “yeobo” thing, so I looked it up, and even in a compilation of occurrences, it was hard to tell if that was even what Jungkook was saying at all.  Not knowing Korean myself, I can’t really say one way or another, but based on the read I already have of their relationship, and the fact that “yeobo” is presumably only really used as a term of endearment between married couples, my guess would be that if Jungkook calls Jin this, he does it as a joke.

As for the larger point about ships like Vhope and Jinkook in general, and the likelihood of these less popular ships being the “real” ones, I have a few points. 

One is that everyone who says it’s not very likely for any intra-group ships to be real is technically right.  It’s not like it’s a statistical probability that one of the ships within BTS is real and therefore maybe it’s one of the less obvious ones that’s the real truth.  If they seem less obvious, and therefore less likely, then it’s probably because they are less likely.

Another is sort of similar but different, which is related to your point about these being the ships that people are paying less attention to.  Because, I mean, why do you think that is?  Maybe people are paying less attention to them because there’s less to pay attention to.

Why assume that they’re secretly living out a whole romance that no one is picking up on when it’s much simpler to figure that the people who act the most couple-y are the most likely to be a real couple, especially considering that the odds are against any “real” couples within the group in the first place?

Obviously we all have different ideas of what’s obvious and what’s subtle, what’s couple behavior and what’s purely platonic, and we all come to our own conclusions about the pairings most likely to be “real” within BTS as a result, but I do think there’s something to be taken from the fact that certain pairings are not just the most popular, but also the most vehemently believed in.

All that said, Jinkook are wicked cute, I just can’t imagine seeing them as anything other than brother-esque friends, and I feel similarly about the other common but less popular BTS ships.

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

When We Were Young Part Two

Part One | Next Part | Masterlist Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

Rating: T

Notes: Not beta-read

Warnings: Uuuuuh none

Summary: You’d only caught glimpses of Mycroft when he’d returned to Ferndell, but it was so unmistakably him. 

You thanked the attendant that put your luggage on the overhead rack before you settled in your seat. Part of you had considered lingering on the platform, looking around and waiting for Sherlock, but it felt ridiculous. He’d surely been winding you up the day before; he’d done that when you were younger, when Mycroft had already started to tick you off, and had grown bored with your ‘antics’ as he’d call them (even at that age). Sherlock knew, back then, that it wouldn’t take much longer before you were on the verge of tears and stomping off to Eudoria. As you’d gotten older and looked back, you’d realized that that was just a tactic to get you to go away. Why he’d bothered to act as such last night, though, you simply didn’t understand. You leaned back, a book in your hands as you waited for the train to depart. “Have you room for two more?” You straightened and turned your head at the sound of Sherlock’s voice, brows raised at the sight of him standing in the doorway to the compartment. “I’m only seeing one of you at the moment,” You said. “Mycroft will be right along.” You carefully shielded your displeasure, but the quirk of Sherlock’s brow told you that you weren’t careful enough. You gestured to the seat across from yourself before returning your attention to your book. Sherlock sat directly across from you, a book and a notebook in his own hands. You eyed them with interest before lowering your eyes to your book again.

“What are you reading?” Sherlock asked as he opened his own book. “North and South,” you answered. “Do you like it?” You did, quite a bit, but you weren’t sure you wanted Sherlock making a mockery of the subject matter, or your swooning over Mr. Thornton. But then you remembered what he’d told you a few days ago about your handwriting, ‘You’re outspoken, comfortable in your own skin’. “Yes, I do,” You answered crisply, turning the page. There was a moment of silence between you before you asked, “Have you any news about Enola’s whereabouts?” “No.” You pursed your lips. Somehow you didn’t believe that; maybe you didn’t want to. Sherlock was brilliant. If he had no leads, there was a higher likelihood of Enola being lost. “Would you tell me if you did?” You asked. Sherlock didn’t answer right away, and when you glanced up, you found him watching you, eyes gentle.

“I know you’re worried about her, dove,” He said softly. It was so straightforward, still utterly Sherlock, but for once, this acknowledgement of your emotion didn’t feel like an indictment. You lowered your eyes to your book again, fully intending to focus, but you could feel the weight of Sherlock’s gaze on you still. “Ah, there you are, Sherlock.” Your attentions were averted at the sound of another voice at the door of the compartment. You’d only caught glimpses of Mycroft when he’d returned to Ferndell, but it was so unmistakably him. He regarded you with a pleased shock as he stepped inside, removing his hat and sitting beside Sherlock. “You look like you’ve rather grown up to be... Well, respectable,” He said, eyes carefully sweeping your person. You arched a brow. “And you look like you’ve rather grown up,” You returned before you shifted in your seat, fully intending to return to your reading. “Your parents are in good health?” Mycroft pressed, insistent on upholding the rules of polite conversation, despite it only being the three of you. “They are well as can be expected,” You answered with a polite nod. “And you are well?” “I am, thank you, Mr. Holmes.” A pause, you assumed a respite as you turned back to your book. “You are... Unmarried?” Mycroft asked. You bristled, fingers tightening around your book as you lifted your eyes to his again. A fair question - hands covered in gloves, Mycroft wouldn’t be able to see a ring if you’d been wearing one. “Yes,” You confirmed. “And yet you travel alone,” He observed, “Quite precarious for a woman in your position.” You knew better than this. You weren’t going to sink to the level of Mycroft’s ridiculous little game - you could see his spoiling to rile you up, his eagerness to call you on your impending outburst. He was waiting for it. Instead, you let your shoulders sag a little, your head tip to the side as you regarded him. “Needs must, Mr. Holmes. Unfortunately my father isn’t well enough to travel, which is one of the things that’s necessitating my travel into London in the first place. If he were well, or if my parents had been fortunate enough to have sons, as yours had been, I might not be in this situation. But if you’d be so kind as to lend yourself as my companion for the duration of this journey, I’d be incredibly grateful,” You answered in a steady voice, offering Mycroft a bashful smile. Mycroft’s excitement spoiled so fast you swore his mustache wilted a little. He faltered, clearing his throat before nodding and mumbling a, “It would be my privilege,” before opening his newspaper and shielding himself behind it. Once he was out of sight you allowed your smile to drop, and you rolled your eyes as you sat up straight. You made to turn back to your book, eyes catching on Sherlock’s on the way. He was smiling, fully, warmly - something you hadn’t seen directed at you in a long time. You felt a thrill run through you, and you couldn’t help the small smile, a real one, that grew on your own lips at the sight. Neither of you spoke, just returned to your respective reading materials. -- The train ride was spent in amiably awkward silence; Mycroft reading a paper and tutting over the reform bill, Sherlock and yourself immersed in your own books. Now and again you’d feel him watching you over the top of his, and you’d feel the urge to squirm, or bring your book up a little higher to block him out of your field of vision, but you kept carefully still. You wouldn’t let him get to you as he had on the path back from Ferndell. You’d been kicking yourself all night for snapping at him the way you had, letting him get the better of you. But what had bothered you, more than the fact that you’d started to lose your temper, was the fact that he’d actually seemed affected by what you said. The look in his eyes, the little clench of his jaw - and then to push it all down in a second. You’d wondered if that was what he needed to do in order to work on these cases, set the emotion aside, hone in on the facts. But you weren’t a case. You tried not to dwell, to instead focus on your book, but knowing he was watching you, that he was so close by, was just so distracting. -- “I trust you’ve someone to meet you at the station?” You’d said what you’d said to get a rise out of Mycroft, but he seemed to be taking his role as companion very seriously. “I have, yes. My uncle,” You nodded, closing your book and folding your hands atop it as the train pulled into the station. You’d hardly read a word after a certain point, you’d merely been turning the pages for the sake of appearances. “Your father’s brother?” Sherlock asked. “Mother’s,” You corrected. His brow furrowed at that, and he loosed a, “Hm.” “Problem?” You asked. Sherlock shook his head before directing his gaze out of the window. You took the moment to look over his profile, admire his strong jaw and the curl of his hair. You didn’t let yourself longer too long, strongly aware of the fact that Mycroft was still there. Sherlock and Mycroft were both out of their seats as soon as the train stopped. Sherlock offered his hand to you. You took it, letting him help you up. You loosened your grip on his hand, and he took a moment to do the same before he reached up, fetching your luggage down from the overhead rack. Mycroft stepped back, gesturing for you to go. You stepped out ahead of them, nodding in thanks. They followed you out of the compartment and off of the train. "I know you two have quite a bit to do, you don’t have to wait with me,” You offered as they stopped on either side of you. “Nonsense,” Mycroft said crisply, “I wouldn’t dare leave a lady unattended.” He offered you his arm, and you saw that glint in his eye, still egging you on. You matched it with the smile you’d given him before, wrapping your arm around his as you headed for the entrance, Sherlock trailing close behind. “There’s my uncle,” You said as soon as you spotted your Uncle Cornelius. He was smiling, red-cheeked (likely from the sherry he’d already dipped into and not a mid-morning chill). You made the necessary introductions to Mycroft, but when you turned to Sherlock, you narrowed your eyes, “I presume you two have already met?” Cornelius opened his mouth to contradict you, but the additional darkening in his cheeks told you that you were right. You let out your own knowing, “Hm.”  Mycroft cleared his throat. “I’ll get us a hansom,” He addressed Sherlock. He nodded to Cornelius, then yourself before stepping away. Cornelius reached out, taking your bag from Sherlock. “Do I even want to know how you two are acquainted?” You asked, clasping your hands behind your back and turning a sweet smile up at the both of them. “Mr. Holmes was kind enough to... Assist me with a personal matter last year,” Cornelius admitted. You nodded. “I see,” You said, “And this wouldn’t have anything to do with the actress that you took up with that subsequently tried sell your Rembrandt to the Louvre without your say-so, would it?” Cornelius let out a shaky, embarrassed laugh, eyes darting between yourself and Sherlock. You nodded, sighing, “Right.” “Sherlock!” Mycroft called from a ways away. You all turned at the sound of his voice to see him waving Sherlock away. You looked up at Sherlock. “If you find anything out about Enola--” “I will let you know,” He nodded. He glanced at Cornelius before he turned to face you fully. “Might I call on you while we’re both in town? -- If I have an update on Enola,” He clarified. You nodded. “Of course,” You said. Sherlock nodded. He turned, shaking Cornelius’ hand and saying his goodbyes before he left with Mycroft. You watched the two of them disappear into the crowd before you turned back to see your Uncle Cornelius eyeing you curiously. “What?” You asked, frowning. “I believe, my dear, that you are interested.” Your frown deepened to a scowl. “Try not to read too deeply into a woman’s interest, Uncle. You may find yourself short another Dutch Old Master.”

[veliseraptor]

So this is in NO WAY PRESSURING, get to this whenever you're bored and have nothing better to do, but I (have still not watched The Untamed) would love to hear any disorganized rambles around your fic 'Punitive Measures', like your thoughts while writing it, how you view Xue Yang's fight/flight/freeze instinct, and/or where you would take the plot if you ever came back to it (again, not pressuring, I'm not asking for a sequel, I'm asking for director's commentary. Also I know the mysterious flute was implying Wei Wuxian, I know that much and not much more.) It's a really fun, quick fic that I enjoy reading through while I keep circling around your longer, more intimidating stories. I aspire to write like you.

oh boy, well, I don't know that I ever have nothing to do but here I am answering this ask anyway, because I like talking about my fic even if I get self-conscious about it.

this entire fic falls solidly into the genre of fic I write that is legitimately just “I’m gonna fuck up this character I love because it’ll be fun and I love to do that” and then just kinda...went for it. actually harder than I was initially planning! my vague sense of what I was going to do with this fic didn’t have Xue Yang down an eye at the end of it.

but when inspiration strikes, what’s a girl to do, etc.

I actually thought recently about writing a sequel to this fic (or, well, continuing into the AU it started, more like) because the concept of Wei Wuxian and Xue Yang being bloodthirsty vengeance brethren is a very good one for me, personally, and at the point their paths would be intersecting in this AU a more plausible one than it would be at pretty much any other time (I would argue, at least in CQLverse). And that’s where I think this would be going. Because Xue Yang would see Wei Wuxian, in his bloodiest frame of mind, powered up with a gorgeous flute of bad vibes and go “fuck yes” even if he wasn’t in a place where he really needed the help.

The question I had was whether Wei Wuxian would be interested in accepting company, and I feel like Xue Yang on that front could be convincing. And the way that the latter would both enable and egg on all the former’s darkest fantasies and impulses...I’m just saying, Wen Chao and everyone he has ever known is in for a very bad time, possibly even worse than they already were.

I invite you to picture in this AU the part where Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji find not just darker and edgier Wei Wuxian at the end of their scavenger hunt but darker and edgier Wei Wuxian with a friend. A familiar friend! Now down an eye and practically picking his teeth with Wen Chao’s finger bones. :D

since you asked for disorganized rambling I went back to reread and I’ll give you some director’s commentary on a few things

And he’d kind of hoped Wen Ruohan would be too busy figuring out how to deal with his brewing war to dedicate much attention to looking for one absent retainer. And even if he did, Xue Yang had sort of figured that finding him would fall to Wen Chao, who’d probably struggle to find his own ass with two hands.

kicking off this director’s commentary with Xue Yang’s brutal assessment of the competency of Wen Chao.

tbh one of my favorite things about CQL’s involving Xue Yang in the whole Sunshot storyline, despite the merry hell it plays with timeline stuff later, is how obviously little regard Xue Yang has for the Wens, even when they’re at the height of their power. He shows Wen Ruohan himself very little respect, and I can’t imagine anyone else getting more (except maybe Wen Qing, because Wen Qing is competent and if nothing else Xue Yang can respect competency).

and he just like. ditches them. walks out! promises to deliver very powerful magical artifact, and then gets what he wants and is like “smell ya later, peace” and they never catch him.

that’s just a kind of gutsiness and casual disregard for very powerful people that I really both love and respect about Xue Yang. and also that he has in common with Xiao Xingchen, tbh. and Song Lan (though him I think to a slightly lesser degree, partly because he has a little more tact and sense of societal norms as something relevant to be thinking about)! they can all vibe on that.

They took Jiangzai. Well. One of the Wen disciples took Jiangzai in the stomach and Xue Yang didn’t get it back.

this isn’t an important line or anything. I just like it a lot.

Wen Chao gestured again and he went down in a hail of fists and feet. Xue Yang tucked his chin down to protect his throat, curled his hands into his chest, and drew up his knees to guard his stomach.

He knew how this worked. Sure, it’d been a while since someone had beat him like this, but the lessons stuck. It was almost boring, really. If Wen Chao was going to play torture games then he could at least do Xue Yang the favor of trying to be creative.

He checked out the part of his brain that registered pain as anything other than a thing that was happening and focused instead on opportunities. Weaknesses in his assailants. Escape routes. Getting away would be the first thing. Nice if he could take a piece of Wen Chao with him on the way out - arm, or maybe even a head - but the priority was freedom and survival.

okay, this I feel like cuts into some of what you were talking about regarding Xue Yang’s fight/flight instinct, and also a lot of what if, I was feeling pretentious, I feel like this fic is digging into on a level under “what if I just tortured Xue Yang a whole bunch,” which is something about the relationship Xue Yang has to (a) pain and (b) his own body. Specifically, the relative indifference he has toward both. Or...not indifference, exactly, because it’s not like he’s enjoying himself, it still hurts. It’s just...expected.

unremarkable.

which is a lot of what I was trying to convey with Xue Yang’s narration during the whole torture sequence, with the commentary on methodology and how things are mundane or boring, because the suffering itself is mundane! as far as Xue Yang is concerned that’s exactly what suffering is! other peoples’, for sure, which is part of why it doesn’t matter, but also his own.

the world hurts and that’s just how it is and you learn how to cope with that. pain as...a thing that [is] happening.

I also, since you mentioned the fight/flight instinct, think a lot about how Xue Yang is, while he’s very proud and very stubborn, absolutely not someone to pick fights (in general) that he knows he can’t win. Xue Yang will almost always be on the side of “run and come back another day” over “stand and fight when all is lost.” survival, first and foremost.

which feeds into the weird paradox that I kind of hint toward at the end of this fic about Xue Yang as someone who has a definite death drive, who is profoundly obsessed with his own death in a lot of ways, and simultaneously is attached to staying alive above pretty much all else.

“Snap and snarl all you want,” he said. “You’re not going anywhere. And the only part of you I need intact is your tongue, so you can tell me where you hid the Yin Metal you promised. Everything else is optional.”

A prickle of fear rolled down Xue Yang’s spine and he flicked it away, baring his teeth.

I actually do think that, even before they get around to hand-specific trauma, permanent mutilation is one of those things that still scares Xue Yang. which is a short list! there isn’t much that actually either gets to or scares him, but I think the prospect of (further) mutilation does, because I think Xue Yang is very...acutely aware of the fact that his physical capability is a major factor in what has kept him alive and what, in all likelihood, is going to keep him alive moving forward. anything that threatens that capability, that limits him in terms of strength or mobility or otherwise has a disabling effect, is consequently going to be a short road to death, and Xue Yang would much rather die painfully fighting than die as a consequence of not being able to take care of himself.

for Xue Yang, the idea of a return to the kind of helplessness that is tied to his trauma is one of the worst possible prospects to contemplate. in my head this is exacerbated further by the fact that I figure Xue Yang didn’t get much if any medical care post hand incident, meaning that the recovery period was absolutely nightmarish and a whole stretch of time beyond the event itself where Xue Yang was struggling to survive because he’d been damaged.

in some ways I think that period of time probably did more to shape Xue Yang than the moment itself.

Wen Chao grabbed one of the branding irons from a disciple’s belt and pressed it to his stomach. That hurt. More. He clamped his back teeth together so he didn’t make any sound, absorbed the burn, owned it. His. You only hurt if you were alive. And anything you survived made you stronger.

Not that this was actually going to make him stronger. It was probably just going to make him dead. But then again, the worse this went the more resentment he’d have built up. He could use that. Would.

Dead didn’t have to mean finished.

obviously this is pulled almost direct from what Wei Wuxian himself says to Wen Chao. deliberate echoes based on character parallels! we love those.

and yeah, again here about Xue Yang and his relationship to pain, but in a less mundane way this time where it’s about pain as a tool, pain as something he can use. which is another thing about coping, I think - when pain and suffering are a regular part of your life, one way to deal with that can be to convert it into having some kind of purpose or benefit.

which in this case it definitely can. Xue Yang is definitely someone who, I think, has thought a lot about trying to arrange it so he becomes a ghost after he dies. or at least has thought a lot about what he’d do after dying to the person who killed him. 

and when you’re a necromancer by trade death really isn’t the end of the line anymore, just the start of a something new. Xue Yang’s relationship to life itself: about as jacked up as his relationships in general.

He felt the snap of bone in his teeth. Pain shooting up the side of his hand, all the way to his wrist, and Xue Yang couldn’t keep himself still enough not to try to wrench himself away. He swallowed his scream and turned it into a laugh. It was funny, wasn’t it? Funny, that he was back here, again. It wasn’t as bad, though. He knew how to take pain, how to breathe it in, make it part of himself, later turn it outwards magnified tenfold. They were old friends. Practically lovers. 

two things here:

1. the thread throughout this fic of Xue Yang making things funny so he can deal with them, here brought to you by reliving trauma! because it’s funny! right? laugh about it! just fucking hilarious.

I have a thing about characters basically deciding for themselves to make very unfunny situations funny because it makes them less awful.

2. and look, now he can deal with it better this time! he’s Learned. :) :) :)

Everything splintered. Splintered like bones under a wheel, and first thing he tried to struggle to get away but that just hurt worse and then old old old instincts kicked in and he went still, limp, dead.

“Did he faint?”

Someone nudged him with their foot. One part of him roared to grab that foot and rip it off along with the leg it was attached to. Immediately the same thing that’d made him play dead told him to wait.

at an end point where fighting is impossible and running is also impossible, the only thing left to do is play dead and wait it out. this is very much, in my head, a reversion to a tactic Xue Yang hasn’t used in a very long time and does not want to be using now, because it is absolutely the recourse of the extraordinarily helpless with no way out.

which he has been! and is now, but he really really really doesn’t want to be. Xue Yang has built his life around not being that, ever again.

but here it’s not a move he makes planning to turn it around the way he does, not at first. he gets there, but when he first does it I think it is literally just instinct that goes enough is enough and shuts down.

Wen Chao, Wen Chao, Xue Yang thought. My body’s going to give out before I do.

someone should remind me at some point maybe (or not) to write something coherent about my Xue Yang vs. his own body thoughts. specifically the way that, while Xue Yang is very physical and very grounded, I think he has a somewhat antagonistic relationship with his own body, actually. not completely! he definitely respects what it can do for him! but I think he also treats it a little as a slightly separate entity that’s capable of betraying him rather than as a fully integrated part of himself.

not always! but it’s a little bit there. this idea that sometimes his body, and its capacity to be hurt or damaged, is a weakness that he’d like to be able to forgo entirely, if only it wouldn’t mean losing all the good things about having a body. and that’s present here in this line, for me, where he thinks about himself and his body as slightly separate, and his body as something weaker than its Xue Yang core.

[bigskydreaming]

what are your opinions on we are robin?

Massively complicated by the fact that DC's writers don't have an ACAB bone in their collective bodies.

Dunno how new to my blog you are and thus how familiar or not you are with my ACAB stance for Dick and my personal tendency to never acknowledge or interact with the specific idea of Dick as a cop...like there's more than enough material for me to work with without ever having to delve into that and I fundamentally believe being a cop is counter to everything I see as Dick's core premise and makes no sense given the specific origins and continuities I view as most 'him' -

But I WOULD have a lot of thoughts about how Dick would feel about this massive city-wide movement that he had no hand in creating and how he would inevitably feel personally responsible for every life to put on a facscimile of his family's costume AND the things they did in those costumes (such as the kid who was manipulated into killing someone while in that guise, per the Court of Owls' agenda).....

AND I would have a ton of thoughts about the fact that it was Alfred who secretly engineered this movement and how he of all people should know how Dick might feel about that, and thus how Dick WOULD feel about that information, but complicated and coupled with the fact that Alfred most certainly was motivated in part by his grief for Dick and seeing this as a kind of legacy, a way to honor his grandson, and able to justify to himself any transgressions towards Dick's feelings here with the idea that Dick wasn't alive TO be hurt by his actions here....

BUT the reason I avoid engaging with We Are Robin content beyond acknowledging it as Duke's origin story in the background of Duke content I write....

Is I absolutely can not - or more to the point - WILL NOT - attempt to justify Dick's decision to get all the kids arrested and locked up for their own safety while he went after the Court alone.

To be clear - I absolutely am of the opinion that Dick was and always will be right and justified in not wanting to see anyone get hurt in the colors and image of his family's legacy. That this has absolutely NOTHING to do with his impression of any such individual's competency, nor is it about trying to restrict their agency. That its wholly a PERSONAL thing for him, its a private instinct that is entirely reasonable and allowable, for him to have a kneejerk need to keep more people from dying or suffering in that specific mantle that he never intended to BE a legacy beyond just himself.

I headcanon that after Jason himself, nobody hated the memorial in the cave more than Dick, because the last image he had of his family was them lying dead on the ground of the circus ring, just broken bodies colored from high above in the classic Grayson colors and covered in blood. That THAT specifically is the image Dick so often saw in his nightmares in his early years in the Manor, that is the SPECIFIC visual Bruce so often comforted him about upon waking....and that it was a massive slap in the face and an indication of Bruce's most unfortunate tunnel-vision tendencies in his own grief, that it never even OCCURRED to Bruce that in memorializing Jason in the specific way he did, he was also subjecting Dick to a constant, ever present visual reminder of one of Dick's personal most traumatic images....the sight and idea of his family, now not just his parents but also his brother....reduced to just broken, bloody costumes he'd never get to see as anything but that again.

Not to mention then captioning this memorial with "a good soldier" and thus in the process of disrespecting Jason's true bond with Bruce, simply because Bruce couldn't handle that at the time and was trying to literally DISTANCE himself from that view of his loss, the loss of a son, of family....Bruce simultaneously disrespected Dick's legacy of his family and everything he'd created Robin to be, and envisioned Jason-as-Robin to be from the moment Dick gave Jason his own old costume and embraced him as the new Robin and by extension, HIS family as much as Bruce's.....like, no matter what Bruce intended for HIMSELF and his feelings about Jason's death with that caption, he literally reduced Dick's tribute to his parents and expression of brotherhood to his brother to.....nothing more than the uniform of a child soldier, a subordinate of the Batman in HIS personal crusade. Something that Jason never actually was, and Dick CERTAINLY had never created - or gave Jason his blessing as - Robin to be.

So on that front, I have no problem with Dick WANTING to keep all the Robins, every child who called themselves one, safe - and to take on the Court of Owls alone, by himself, because like it or not, that will ALWAYS be personal for him. That is about HIS family in a way that it will never be about the family, the heritage, of anyone else, even his adopted siblings. The Court were after HIM, specifically, and always were and always would be. I don't see anything hypocritical about Dick's desire to keep kids out of that fight when he himself would have never been okay with Bruce benching him as Robin in some random fight....because this fight is deeply personal for Dick in a way that's not transferable, and to be honest, I see his desire to keep anyone else from dying as a Robin, in a fight against the Court ESPECIALLY....I see it as an inherently selfish want of Dick's. 

A selfishness that I think he's entirely justified in having. Its not about anyone but him. Its about HIM not having to deal with the burden of any more deaths in his family's colors, his family's name, when he in all likelihood originally created Robin in that particular guise because he figured he'd likely die as Robin at some point, and thus he'd never have to see anyone die in the image of his family's costume and colors ever again because the only person left TO die in them, at the time, was he himself.....thus kinda ensuring for Dick that when he did die, he'd go out just as his parents did, which in his youth at least was likely a weirdly kinda comforting idea for him.

So on the one hand, Dick's desire to keep the kids out of harm's way was ultimately a selfish - but justifiably so - desire to not see anyone else dead or injured in a literal WAR of CHILDREN being fought in his personal family colors and image....especially when 99% of them had literally no idea what the colors they were fighting in signified and meant for the mantle's original creator.

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT.

Where this all falls apart for me, and why I don't just go with this take and instead just kinda sidestep around the whole story itself and don't engage with it....

Is there's absolutely no way to 'fix' the story as is.....without coming up with an entirely different middle climax, in which Dick finds some way to sideline the kids without getting them all arrested.

Cuz see, what I'm NOT gonna ever do, is try and argue from an in story perspective, that Dick would ever be stupid enough, or try to justify, getting kids - many of them marginalized, and people of color specifically - arrested in the name of keeping them SAFE.

That's just stupid to the nth degree, and unilaterally the fault of DC's writers being oblivious to the real-world realities of police brutality and the interactions and dynamic people of color have with the actual police.

It was DC's fuck-up there, but I - especially as a white writer and fan - am not going to try and fix or transform that fuck up short of entirely rewriting the whole second half of We Are Robin's plot, which to be honest, I don't see as likely to ever be a priority for me as there's so much other content in Dick's narratives I'd rather get to first. Its just way too far down the list, the premise itself doesn't interest or engage me enough to make me WANT to invest in that particular story heavily enough to create a whole other direction for it, that navigates around the issue I have with it here.

So again, I mostly just....don't engage with it. Because I can't see Dick's stance on the issue of his family's legacy ever being other than what I always see it as, and thus see it as here, but I'm definitely never going to find it appropriate to write Dick trying to justify his decision to ENGINEER the police arresting all these kids for their PROTECTION....to a black character like Duke in specific.

Because its not. But again, this wasn't Dick's decision at the end of the day, because he's a fictional character who can only make the decisions he's written making. And thus it was the decision of writers who wrote these characters in situations that contained analogues to real world issues without keeping centered an awareness of how those issues intersect with people of different identities, particularly people of color and black people in specific.

So its not a decision that made me like, dislike Dick, because its one that I don't think he should have ever been written making, but its not a decision I care to justify in universe.

And that's about all I think I ever intend to - or even could - expand on that subject, I'm pretty sure. *Shrugs*

Oh wait, no, I lied!

Quick thought for white fans in particular....because I HAVE seen this subject tackled at least once or twice in fiction, from an ACAB standpoint that had Duke reaming out Dick for his decision here, for the same reasons I'm outlining above.....

This isn't an attempt to gatekeep or police anybody as like, I'm not actually ever trying to do that, I'd have to know every fic writer's personal identity and marginalizations TO do that, and I'm not pretending to know that or asking to, like, its just not on the menu for me so please don't get me wrong, this is purely aimed at a plea for white writers in particular to exercise personal accountability and good, sincere judgment in this regard:

No matter your personal feelings about Dick Grayson, the subject of Robin, or any of this in general, PLEASE keep in mind before utilizing Duke as a mouthpiece for giving Dick shit for this in the name of smearing the latter's character or making him look bad, like.....

Dick is of Romani descent. In the New 52 continuity as well as pre-Flashpoint. That's been made explicitly clear, and as such......there is no substitute in our current real world zeitgeist for the interactions the police have with black people, but please keep in mind that Romani people have a very, VERY long history of being subject to police brutality and persecution in a wide range of countries. Its a big part of why so many people are so uncomfortable with cop!Dick in the first place, and as such, it makes treating him as this naive, privileged white guy when having the realities of police brutality explained to him by another character, like.....not look exactly like you might intend there, because the reality is he's not SUPPOSED to be that character, but too few people at DC, and ESPECIALLY the people writing the We Are Robin stories, like, completely fail to ever extend the idea of Dick being Romani to any kind of examination of what kinds of lived experiences, perspective or perceptions this results in him having specifically.

And that's a failure on DC's part, but you don't need to go making it your failure as well, so for those of us who are white like, this really is something that should be kept centered before we decide to engage with story elements like the above one from We Are Robin, and like, if we do, then HOW we go about that specifically.