#this whole scene robbie acted his ass out

[kassian-ck]

I might do a whole ass series of posts regarding Miguel and Robby just staring at each other an analyzing what might be going on behind those glances. The writers sucked at giving them the depth they deserved, but giving credit where credit is due, they do know sometimes how to show and not tell, and the quiet glances that they give to each other from time to time does that pretty nicely in my opinion. Xolo and Tanner also help bring these messages across so kudos for their acting 🗣🔥

Or I could be completely wrong and they just staring at each other cause oh they're rivals grrrr.

ALSO THANK YOU EVERYONE for the feedback in the last post. I didn't think so many people would read what I wanna say. Yall real ones 😭🫂

So this time, I'm going alllll the way back to season 3 to talk about a scene that goes pretty under the radar when it comes to them and I think is really interesting (excuse the quality):

This one is a bit long ngl

Getting what's very telling out of the way – is insane that Miguel's look here barely resembles any kind of anger or hatred towards Robby. The situation isn't really the best for him to bring up any of that and he knows that, but Miguel isn't exactly the best at hiding his emotions, and to hide any (justifiable) anger he had towards Robby after what happened during the school fight wouldn't have been easy at all for him.

His experience was insanely traumatic. That's not something you can simply forget, nor your mind nor your body. But yk the writers, they don't actually like to explore anything with Miguel in depth–

Finding each other after going through one of, if not the hardest and most traumatic events of their lives at that point must have brought up pretty complex emotions they aren't sure what to do with. When they meet in Miyagi Do earlier in the season, Robby does resort to his anger from how betrayed he feels by the people he thought he could trust completely turn his back on him (in his pov). There might have been resentment towards Miguel, but I feel like that act of throwing a punch at him was more out of impulse caused by a fresh wound and the behavior he had to keep for months in juvie.

In this scene, Robby is angry but I heavily doubt any anger is directed towards Miguel at that moment. Instead, they look at each other blinking slowly as if it was hard to believe that they were in the presence of the other now that the situation had nothing to do with their rivalry.

Especially for Miguel. Not only for what happened between them but for what he thought of Robby once he saw him stepping out of the dojo right behind Kreese.

He didn't look angry. Man, he barely even seemed angry towards Robby regarding his injury compared to how he was with Johnny. Because even if he didn't know much about Robby, he did know one thing about him. Miyagi Do is about honor and balance, and he's seen Robby uphold those teachings with pride since the first time he fought him in their first tournament. Something that he massively lacked and nearly loss complete sight of when Kreese came into the picture.

Even if they weren't in the best terms in season 2, Miguel at least esteemed Robby's honor and balance the more he saw that Cobra Kai's teachings didn't have those principles he himself believed in. Maybe at some point he saw that what Robby did to him wasn't out of revenge or out of pure hatred towards him, it was because he was angry and he let his emotions take control, causing an accident that he knew the Robby he fought against in the tournament would have immediately regretted.

So to see this Robby come out, wearing a Cobra Kai gi and taking the side of the same old man who's philosophy nearly pushed him towards a very dangerous ideology had to feel like being hit by a truck. Because as much as it might be hard for him to admit it due to his ego, Robby was supposed to be better than him. He was supposed to be more honorable and with more integrity than him; to see that the rhetoric Cobra Kai wants to push isn't the right way to do things.

How was somebody like Robby now in the same position he was in? In the position that brought them to where they were in the first place? Miguel can only guess so much with what he knows from Johnny. He doesn't know that he's pretty much homeless or that his mom isn't available for him. He barely knows what he went through in juvie, or how Johnny chose him over his biological son and how that made him feel.

He's completely left in the dark wondering why Robby didn't care anymore. Thus, looking perplexed as he does in the scene.

If this is the case, he might have been the only one of the teens to see Robby past the mistakes that were made and past the choices he took from the very beginning. He wanted to understand what was going on, but who was he to even approach him?

This is why in season 4 I honestly would have loved it if they had fought instead of Eli fighting Miguel. Keep Eli winning, I liked that he won the tournament a lot, but just give Robby and Miguel a fight 🙏 It's not a 1:1 parallel but since they have pretty much flipped sides, it would force them to look at the other in the eye and notice sides of each other that they have not seen in earlier fights, giving them a sense of deja vu yet see what made this different. We could have gotten Robby's reaction to Miguel feeling a sharp pain in his lower back too after attempting that jumping kick. I feel this way the tournament could have had so much more weight emotionally, and it could have added another layer to the relationship that could work well with Robby ultimately turning away from Cobra Kai and deciding to stay in Mexico to search for Miguel with his dad.

[dirtyassvoiceactors]

ROBBIE MF DAYMOND THE ACTOR YOU ARE!

[thefoxxyreview]

So we have been blessed with a sequel to the infamous live-action “Suicide Squad”. When we were first given this interesting team of super-villains turned good for hire, many DC fans were excited. I personally was whelmed by the performances of Jared Leto as the joker and Will Smith as Dead Shot. it was okay overall but it did not give me “sequel” vibes. You can imagine my surprise when I saw that the second Suicide Squad was available. This is a series I prefer to follow in animation form, but I decided to humor DC and watch the movie. I was not disappointed funny enough!

*Spoilers Ahead*

They Tricked me in the beginning when they basically wasted Team one of the Squad. Our real team we would be Bloodsport, Peacemaker, King Shark, Ratcatcher 2, Pokand the surviving Harley Quinn from team one who managed escape as she tends to do. They actually let us know just how disposable the people in each of these suicide squads are, as wells as showed just how often Amanda Waller is willing to sacrifice life to cover the tracks of the government. John Cena and Idris Elba played well off of each other and though their characters were similar, their philosophies were vastly different. John Cena’s character, Peacemaker, to me represented the radical ideas that white supremacists carry and would love to force upon the world and say that it is what is necessary to gain peace in this world. Ratcatcher 2 just not a villain that I am familiar with in the DC universe, but she definitely made me appreciate rats for some odd reason. She had a way of making them super useful as well as cute. King shark was played by Sylvester Stallone and he did absolutely wonderful. I’ll have to watch behind the scenes to figure out the whole CGI situation and how much of it was Computer. I’ve seen the Harley Quin animated Series and in that iteration of King shark he is extremely articulate and a vital part to the group as the brains and Brawn when needed. I didn’t appreciate them dumbing him completely down. Blood sport was your classic bitter, clever, doesn’t believe in himself leader. The way that he and Peacemaker bickered was hilarious and were scenes that I looked forward to. 

There were some nice cameos from stars I recognized. They were quickly disposed of in team one.  I enjoyed Pete Davidson for the short time he was there. his comedic style was underused if you ask me. Michael Rooker’s Character Savant was a bad ass for maybe ten minutes of the movie before he was reduced to a coward. In the animated suicide squad movies, someone’s head always gets blown off by the button, live action is no different.

All in all, this isn’t a movie that I would watch again upon my own suggestion. There is a persistent love of Margot Robbie that will always be evident by many fans and myself.  She has made the character of Harley Quinn her own, and it is no wonder that she was able to get a movie with Harley as the star. DC movies are slowly starting to catch their fans attention. If only these actors would act right when off the big screen they could keep the interest on the characters and stories rather than their personal lives.

[lysteriaposts]

They should write Miguel and Sam off the series. Sam is a horrible person and Miguel is an entitled asshole. And the actors are bad anyway. ROBBY AND TORY ARE THE ONLY VALID PROTAGONISTS.

This is... one take. Haha.

There's no way CK is gonna last longer than one season more, so doing this would be pointless. I disagree that the actors are bad, I just think they bring each other's acting down when they're forced to do scenes together (except maybe the break up scene). I actually thought Mary Mouser was good when she gets good material, such as her dream this season. And when Miguel had his scene in Mexico calling Johnny after he found out his real dad was an ass.

Rather than calling Sam a horrible person, I'd switch that around and call her an entitled ass (not always, but a lot of the time). She clearly isn't bad to the bone but her "goodness" does scream more told than shown and you're just meant to believe she is. Miguel's fine in my book although he did give me very Gary Stu vibes in s4 and was slowly becoming the boring hero archetype.... he still has that a bit but I think his relationship with Robby this season saved him for me.

Do I think Peyton and Tanner are better actors than them? Probably.

Do I think they should get the main focus for once? Yes.

Do I think their relationship and their characters are more dimensional than Sam and Miguel respectively? Without a doubt.

Do I think they play a more relevant role in the story as the show is now? Yup.

Both Miguel and Sam have become more and more irrelevant for the show as it has gone on. So if they really wanted them to stay "the focus" they should've written the story with that in mind. Tory and Robby have a lot of stake and connection to Cobra Kai, and the show has completely deviated from the main thing which was Johnny teaching Miguel to be the "new Karate Kid" or Johnny growing up... seeing as the og Karate Kid is still around and thriving as well as Johnny's issues not being handled properly, you see my point. Same with Sam, her whole character is just about carrying on the Larusso / Miyagi legacy, but Daniel fills those shoes already and her part in it was even minimized by forcing Anthony to be a part of karate as well.

Nonetheless, thanks for this ask anon, got me thinking about new things.

[krytus]

ive been waiting for u to finish up the season im ngl sguhsuhwins xolo maridueña was acting his ASS OFF this season n mr buchanan was. not. however when he went "oh u remember what happened the last time we fought :)" i was like this is why ur dad doesnt fucking LOVE YOU !! ANTI ROBBY HIVEMIND RISE UP (also the last moment with johnny n miguel in episode 8 hurt me SO MF BAD i want financial compensation, DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE LAST SCENE FOR EPISODE 9)

ANTI ROBBY HIVE MIND MAKE SOME NOISE!!! ngl i'm glad they paired up his storyline w kenny, otherwise he would have been insufferable.

god mr maridueña proving once again that this is HIS show, everyone else is just playing second fiddle. his whole episode after he found about abt his mom and johnny....god. where's his emmy where's his oscar where's his noble peace prize <3

GODDD episode eight took NO fucking prisoners.....i was holding my breath, knowing the final scene of the episode w johnny would take me OUT and good LORD....god LORD that just fucking. god. GOD.

and don't get me started on the avt man miguel not fighting was just THEE perfect choice. cannot WAIT for next season and johnny taking on a mexican drug lord for miguel :)

[shallowseeker]

I’ve come to terms with my evil finale meta where Sam and Dean kill that little family. (And also, the family is Cas, Dean or Kelly, Sam, and Jack. At first I thought it might be John, Mary, Dean, and Sam, but it's the older brother who looks like Sam and wears the exact same hoodie as Sam later in the episode.) It’s Agents Singer and Kripke. It’s right there! They’re (spiritually) possessed.

Actually, no. No, I haven't. I have things to say: (I write a lot of evil meta for fun, but THIS is one I actually believe was intentional.)

WHO'S WHO

First some notes about who we're watching here. We're watching demon roleplay ("miming") with terrible consequences:

Singer is laughing about the pie. It's Singer-Sam that pied Dean here at the pie festival.

Kripke-Dean (machete) killed the cute family’s dad

Singer-Sam drained the dad's blood for bullets.

Singer-Sam cut out the mom’s tongue (little blade).

Singer-Sam shot the vampire-that-looks-like-John in the head, the same way Bobby Singer* did to his dad.

Jenny is a reference to Dead Man’s Blood, so it’s trying to draw your attention to the fact that Singer-Sam drained that man for his bullets.

Singer-Sam was the most different in character from Sam as we know him. It was an acting choice.

The Ghostfacers music over the murder scene and the general shadowey nature of the mimes with masks are trying to show you who the killers actually are.

THE CHUCK OF IT ALL

Maybe Chuck-Carver-Edlund did want better for the boys, after all. His ending was better for the legacy of the boys as heroes. At least it wasn’t character assassination.

ROBBIE?

I pray that vampire-John is a nod to #TheWinchesters and he's Robbie Thompson speaking out to us with a nod to all the Charming Acres coding and simply taking the narrative back to Safe House with soul eaters and reliving traumatic things.

They’re not dead

They’re with the nest

We…take a harvest

Every few years, grab a couple kids, raise them up, feed them right, juice them.

We don’t do fast food.

GOTCHA! THAT'S SO META!

I mean, we ALL know we're watching a story. As story-god, you either let the universe's rules be a certain way, or you don't. The in-universe rules sort of reflect the meaning and the morality of the story you're experiencing.

You could show a story of trench warfare, for example, and show all the compelling things that happen good and bad during war...and then you COULD pull out to show a single man stabbing himself and killing all his puppies. Right? But that would be...stupid. And really, really pretentious.

It could make a good short story, but not a fuckin 800-page novel. Get me?

You could also show someone one of those "I can't believe it's not cake" shows and switch it out the cake-dog with a real-dog so when you cut into it! Ha! I got you! That's a REAL dog! How meta is that thing I just did? *indulgent, self-serving smile*

METAWRITING IN GENERAL IS FAST-BECOMING "MEH"

It’s so, you know, edgy. Like a fifteen-year-old writer who spent a couple hours navel-gazing and decided, “Hey, I wanna teach everyone that stories are delusions. Yeah. That’s gritty, man. Deep.”

But your story is on the CW, man. If I order a cheeseburger, do not serve a pretentious something else and pat yourself in the back for the sleight of hand. Being “meta” isn’t the genius you think it is. It’s fast-becoming a mark of a lack of integrity and the educated overwriter.

DANGERS OF METAWRITING

Metatron toed the line, and so too did Chuck, but it's because the characters still appeared to be struggling within the framework. Whereas having Sam and Dean murder a family just to save it? Eh. Many viewers left feeling, "Who gives a rat's ass?" and "What's the point of watching the whole thing now?" -- This is why. Viewers could FEEL that Sam and Dean were the killers, even if they didn't pick up on it immediately. (TBF, many didn't bother rewatching it.)

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

Here's an example of what this whole thing feels like: "See that girl over there? She's allergic to shrimp, but she's eating at a restaurant. Doesn't she know restaurants can't be trusted? They lie about their ingredients! Know what we should do? GIVE HER SHRIMP. Then she'll know restaurants aren't to be trusted! I'm so benevolent to teach her this. Don't worry, she's got an epi-pen, so she'll be fine. What a memorable LESSON I'll leave her with!"

But I ordered a cheeseburger, dude. I've had a long day at work, and I don't want an existential lesson. I just want my damn cheeseburger. I get enough hard knocks in...actual life.

You made it too much about yourselves, my dudes. Some writing works through insights about trauma, and then there's writing that feels so overwrought and pretentious, you get the sense they've never actually struggled with anything in their lives. They just like the power of writing and trying to be callous and appear intellectual with bleakness like, "Gotcha!" There is a trend, especially among pulp and comic book writers, to keep on dumping in hopelessness and bleakness and depression like it's salad dressing and will make the story more meaningful. Or that sprinkling satire and intellectualism concerning craft will somehow make it more.

I didn't start reading Candide, dude, I'm reading Frankenstein. I'm watching a show on the CW. Miss me with that Don Quixote pretentious crap. UGH

And you ruined Sammy and made him into an obsessed, delusional madman that lives in a bunker and either dreams or roleplays all this crap. That's just sad, man. Why bother watching the show. And I mean, it was there, kinda there, with Thinman, Slumber Party, the Ghostfacers, and Everybody Hates Hitler... But I think GOING there with Sam and Dean was a bad move. The tension was that the main character fought the real stuff because they'd been cursed by the audience-gods and stuck in a story.

That was better than the Sam delusion "it was all a dream" shit they pulled. It's like they fucking wrote to the stupid Kansas song. "Get a glimpse beyond this illusion. Yeah. That's deep. I can't believe how clever I am, man."

I will now accept nothing LESS than the headcanon that the mime stuff were just Kripke and Singer roleplaying. Good riddance.

P.S. If you're a GIF maker, I'd LOVE the scenes I mentioned here:

[inky-duchess]

Things Writers can learn from Scream

The Scream Franchise though it does have its flaws is actually one of my favourite film sagas. Wes Craven's features have taught teenagers around the world how to avoid slaughter from a masked fiend but as writers what can we learn from the master of horror himself?

Being Meta

Meta is the termed coined for when a particular work takes an opportunity to comment on its genre. Scream is a whole film that spends its entire run poking fun at the horror genre itself. The characters lampshade clichés (Randy has this role over the main trilogy), insult their foils in similar works (Sidney roasting all other final girls as big breasted bimbos for example) and the whole work is unafraid to really poke fun at itself. The comments on the genre, characters and story itself are refreshing but meta references are like salt, too much spoils any dish. Though the concept of Scream is a meta commentary on the horror genre as a whole, the films know when to quit. There is no point beating the audience over the head with commentary. If your story is a journey, any meta reference is a treat of some McDonald's. If you as a writer, chooses to comment on the genre you're currently writing or want to make comment on real world issues, there is nobody stopping you but coose your battles.

Genre Rules

So Scream runs on a very simple formula. Each film follow a series of rules, lampshading that very horror film/ trilogy + reboot does indeed follow formulas. For example- Rules to succesfully survive a horror movie: Never have sex (virgins usually survive these situations). Never drink or do drugs. You will nearly always die if you say "I'll be right back", "Hello?" or "Who's there?". Sequels- The body count (or volume of action) is always bigger. The death scenes (plot points) are always much more elaborate. Never assume the Killer/villain is defeated. The final chapter of a trilogy- The Killer (antagonist) will be more difficult to defeat. Anyone can die (the stakes will go up). The past will bite you in the ass (the past will catch up with a character or prove to be the undoing of the antagonist). Remakes- Don't fuck with the original. As writers, we have to face the truth- all genres have rules and expectations. Don't clock yourself for being unoriginal if your WIP falls into a category. But that doesn't mean we are constrain. You have rules in the genre but that doesn't mean you can't bend them. Sidney has sex in the first film, Randy drinks at the party, Gale says "I'll be back", even Joel the camera guy lampshading that diverse characters don't often make it through to the climax. The audience expects them to die and they are spared, which is a refreshing turn of events.

Red Herring

Scream is also a whodunit at heart. Ghostface is a persona taken on by many antagonists over the four films. Most of the films keep up the suspense by teasing characters as the possible killer. Red herrings is a literary trick devised to mislead the audience and sometimes characters from deducing the truth too easily. In the first film, we are given more than our fair share of red herrings. The most masterful red herring is Billy Loomis. The film makes a hard go of planting the idea that he is the killer: a phone falls out of his pocket after Ghostface has chased Sidney around the house, a tendency appear when Ghostface has suddenly vanished from a crime scene, and acts so creepy, that the audience assumes he isn't actually the killer and the writers are trying to distract us. It all comes to a head when Ghostface stabs him during the final bloodbath right after Sidney plants one last seed of doubt in our heads. While Sidney runs around trying not to die, the audience and no doubt Sidney, feels bad for doubting Billy. But in a twist, he has faked his death and is one of two killers. Multiple characters over the franchise are used as red herrings: the overzealous blade happy Principal Himbry, Dewey who is nearly always absent when Ghostface calls, Derek who is a red Herring by default because we naturally suspect the boyfriend after Billy, Kincaid's knowledge of horror and his popping up odd times, Deputy Judy for her creepy behavior and knowledge of the prior crimes, Billy-Loomis-expy Trevor in Scream 4. Make the audience look left while you hit them from the right. 

Pov trick Shots

So I've spoken about how much I love multiple POVs and all the tricks you can play with them. And Scream 2 provides the best example. All throughout the film, reporters gather about our characters trying to get interviews. Gale and Cotton are both approached by Debbie Salt, a seemingly nondescript background character who is likely there to get killed for entertainment value. Then comes the climax and she strides into view carrying a gun. The audience and Fake don't understand at first but Sidney sure does and she would, as Debbie Salt is Mrs. Loomis. Sid could recognise Mrs Loomis despite her lost weight (Gale only clicks after the fact) but Sidney never meets Mrs Loomis until the end of the film.  Had she met her before or stumbled across her, the film would be over in seconds most likely.

Foreshadowing

Foreshadowing is when the events of a story are lampshades before they happen. Scream is one of the top works that does this well. On the topic of Mrs Loomis, she is foreshadowed so heavily that it almost is laughable when you rewatch it: Randy says that the killer could be somebody other than a white male citing Mrs Vorhees as his prime example (Mrs Loomis is the first Ghostface's mom), Randy is then rather savagely slain in a frenzied attack in broad daylight after badmouthing Billy and then she even foreshadows her own identity by claiming before other reporters that the new Ghostface could be from Woodsboro. In Scream 3, Randy's sister - who we didn't know existed- suddenly shows up with all the answers foreshadowing the reveal that Roman is Sidney's half brother and holds the answers to why all the killings happened. In Scream, Randy jokingly tells Stu that he'll see him in the kitchen with a knife after flaunting the 'I'll be right back' rule - and Stu ends up there, wielding a knife.

Characters

The thing with franchises like this, is that they often bring in new characters to surround the main character as they go through their travails. In the first Scream, Sidney has Tatum, Stu, Billy and Randy as friends. We see them interact with Sidney and other characters, they have personalities and their deaths actually impact us. Each of these characters shine on their own though Tatum is perhaps the flattest of the first group of friends but her rapport with Sidney and Dewey saves her and makes her death impactful. The background characters of Scream 2, we're introduced to Hallie, Derek and Mikey. Mikey did not have enough screen time for the audience to attach themselves to, he's merely as Randy puts it "the creepy film student". Hallie can only be seen around Sidney and does little except support Sidney. Derek does venture out of his supporting role, with having a goal (winning Sidney's trust), having a personality (his humour with his song) and being seen without Sidney (when the frat kidnap him). In Scream 4, almost every supporting character is ridiculously clichéd. You have the douchey guy (Trevor), the nerd (Robbie/Charlie), the edgy cool girl (Kirby), the pretty one (Olivia). The only one who makes any sort of impact is Kirby for showing us some personality and her death is actually hurtful. If you're going to introduce new characters to a story, they cannot be statuesque. They are people too. They need drive, personalities, lives outside the MC's life, goals of their own and should be seen acting as independent entities if they are to be taken seriously as characters.

[jackonthelongwalk]

do you think Tory is responsible for Hawk breaking Demetri’s arm? love all of your autistic hawk posts!!

Great question! Thank you!

If you do not head-canon Hawk as autistic, don’t understand anything about masking or mimicking I don’t care to hear your opinion as it’s not really relevant. Also I don’t want to hear your opinion if you think peer pressure isn’t real or don’t believe it has very serious ramifications. I also don’t want to see some weird misogynistic responses about Tory. 

Let’s start with the language here “is Tory responsible?”

Responsible: being the primary cause of something and so able to be blamed or credited for it

Short answer no! Tory is NOT the primary cause for Hawk breaking Demetri’s arm. Hawk broke Demetri’s arm due to his intense loyalty to Cobra Kai, his need for revenge for Miguel, and how he has been manipulated by Kreese + Johnny and finally by being pressured by Tory and the group.

(Due to Hawk’s black and white thinking (likely stemming for his autism) his need for revenge (for Robby hurting Miguel) is paramount. He can’t see why it would be fair or just for the miyagi do’s to “get away with” what they did without retaliation. This of course is born out of the ideas and rhetoric Johnny and Kreese have been drilling into the Cobra Kai’s.)

Tory did peer pressure Hawk with the help of the other Cobra Kai’s

Peer-pressure -Peer pressure is the direct influence on people by peers.

**NOTE autistic people are quite susceptible to peer pressure, particularly in childhood and teenhood it’s extremely common for autistic people to struggle with getting peer pressured. It’s very confusing when your friends are telling you to do something when you’re conflicted and unsure but friends aren’t supposed to make you do something you shouldn’t do. So often times autistic people will be more likely to be peer pressured because it’s confusing.

Tory most certainly peer pressures Hawk into breaking Demetri’s arm. But she should NOT be the sole one to “blame” firstly Rickenberger and Mikey (the two stunt guys who are always in scenes with Hawk) are right behind/beside Tory in the shot, all of them are yelling with pretty equal vigour. Mitch is also participating quite enthusiastically.

Hawk is VERY clearly conflicted there’s no question about it (I’m rewatching the scene over and over for this analysis). Hawk gets Demetri on the ground his arm behind his back and immediately Demetri begs Hawk

“No please stop Eli stop” Hawk is already looking doubtful of his choice, there’s that sharp breath we often see him do, he’s adjusting his hand on Demetri.

Tory is the first one of the group to speak “Do it, finish him” then we hear Mikey and Rickenberger and the rest of the group starts encouraging Hawk. Using language like “do it pussy” (which is believe is Mikey)

the group is getting louder and louder and again we hear Tory’s voice quite clearly

“Hawk finish him” and Hawk does it. I’m pretty sure there’s even some clapping. Hawk gets up and backs away his face does not read excited or exhilarated he just looks sad, conflicted, GUILTY and he doesn’t look away from Demetri until Tory looks at him and says “pussy” she’s satisfied. She also pats him on the back and looks him up and down these are classic reassurance cues, to me this says that Tory most certainly KNEW that Hawk did not 100% want to do this. She felt like she needed to reassure him.

Mitch also reassures and congratulates Hawk with their little ‘bro tap’ and he (hawk) does this half smile at Mitch but you’ll notice Hawk never really looks away from Demetri for more the a second or two and the smile drops as soon as none of the Cobras are looking at him.

He even looks over his shoulder as Tory and the group leave to check if they’re watching him.

“This isn’t over LaRusso” rings out in the arcade and Hawk is just looking at Demetri, he does his classic eyes darting around and quickly turns around to follow the group! Why? Likely because he didn’t want to be alone with Demetri, if they were alone his guilt would have consumed him right in the moment and he would firstly “look like a pussy” and secondly would be confronted right in the moment with the ramifications of what he’s done.

If Robby wasn’t in jail Hawk most certainly would have gone after Robby and Demetri would not have been involved at all. It was wrong place wrong time for Demetri. Hawk wanted revenge it’s true but riddle me this...

Hawk would NOT have done it if they were alone/only Sam was there it absolutely would NOT have happened. Twisted his arm sure, broken it? Absolutely not. Peer pressure (not just Tory) is the reason it went down the way it did.

Hawk IS responsible, even when a person is peer pressured they are still responsible for their actions, I’m not in anyway saying Hawk isn’t responsible for this. He is the one who got Demetri into the position to break his arm. But pretending that Tory + Mitch and the rest of the group didn’t have a hand in how it went down isn’t accurate.

Hawk was blinded by his need for revenge but I’ll reiterate he would NOT have broken Demetri’s arm if they were alone. There’s absolutely no way.

I see a lot of people saying that Hawk hates Demetri which isn’t quite right. Hawk hates that Demetri reminds me of his old self, Hawk hates that Demetri knows him “better than anyone” Hawk hates the Demetri knows he’s masking. However Hawk still clearly (from the major hesitation in this scene) cares deeply for Demetri.

Let’s briefly talk about the scene at the dojo when Mitch Tory and Hawk interact about the arm breaking.

Gif by @miguelsc

Mitch in this scene is bragging to another student about how Tory kicked ass, he took care of Chris and Hawk “got that beta Demetri in an arm bar like Chris Jericho” and he acts out the arm break. At this point Hawk is doing his classic eyes darting around making no eye contact he’s feeling guilty and uncomfortable. He is not energized by the retelling.

In comes Tory

“You know I didn’t think you were actually going to do it.” Her voice is even the tone is neutral she doesn’t seem to be expressing surprise at all. Because she isn’t, this reads as a cover up she’s trying to shift all of her guilt onto Hawk when she KNOWS she was vigorously yelling for Hawk to do it. This is confusing for Hawk she very clearly wanted him to do it, she + the group were very encouraging she even reassured him afterwards.

Hawk again does some eyes darting around and takes a sharp breath before saying “they got what they deserved for what they did to Miguel” notice the language here “they” he can’t even say Demetri’s name. He can’t confront what he did to Demetri specifically or he’s going to crack his mask, so he keeps it general it’s about the miyagi do’s as a whole.

So no it’s NOT Tory’s fault ultimately it’s Hawk’s fault he is the one who committed the act did Tory + Mitch + the other Cobras have a hand in how it went down? most definitely.

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 141: 7x17, 11x16, 15x13

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

March 23, 2022

7x17: The Born-Again Identity

Written by: Sera Gamble

Directed by: Robert Singer

Original air date: March 23, 2012

Plot Synopsis:

Lucifer is driving Sam into madness. Desperate to save him, Dean tries to find someone who can help.

Features:

Sam’s psychotic break, Lucifer reading the DSM IV, Emmanuel the faith healer, heartfelt talks in the impala, Meg saving Dean’s ass, Dean giving Cas back the trenchcoat, Cas taking Sam’s hell trauma.

My Thoughts:

Hey so remember yesterday, when I said I was sick but don’t worry, it’s not covid? Well, I was wrong and it IS covid, thanks universe. I’m going to still do Stacked (I’m just lying in bed watching netflix anyways), but forgive me if the posts are shorter and less coherent.

This arc is basically the one time that they really focus on the mental trauma of what one of the boys has gone through. Sam’s illness isn’t from a curse or a deal, it’s just the natural consequence of the things he’s gone through.

I’ve been waiting with baited breath for Cas to come back, because a lot of the season 7 filler episodes without him kind of suck. I love how ready Dean is to forgive him, to defend him to himself, even with him breaking Sam’s wall being the reason he was in the hospital in the first place. I love that even without his memories, Cas’ natural instinct is to help people in any way he can. He gets in the car of a random dude and drives like 12 hours even after he sees him kill someone. Jensen’s acting in this whole episode is great, but especially in the scene with Daphne (side note, does anyone ever explain to her what happened to her husband?).

In the same way, even when Sam is so sick he’s barely functional, he wants to help Marin with her ghost problem. I love how fundamentally good they are.

I had forgotten how prominently Meg is featured in this episode - it’s a good one to stack so closely with Goodbye Stranger. Also I enjoy seeing her flirt with Cas, it’s fun.

@meg3point0 pointed out that Dean making a pseudo-deal with Meg to protect Cas is exactly what Cas did last season with Crowley to protect Dean. I love it.

This has been said a million times, but they’ve changed cars a ton of times this season. Dean has been moving that dirty, bloody trench coat from trunk to trunk out of sentimentality, because he had no reason to hope that Cas was coming back. This is also the final piece of a series of moments that I talked about in an earlier post, but all season Dean has been tentatively reaching out, telling people that he was struggling, and all of them except of Emmanuel/Cas has told him to suck it up and move on. Cas tells him that he isn’t a machine. That’s love.

Notable Lines:

“I won. Your madness won. I mean, look at you. It's hard to believe you were the guy that saved the world once.”

“You know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... I always could. What Cas did... I just can't – I don't know why.” [...] “You're not a machine, Dean. You're human.”

“I deserved to die. Now, I can't possibly fix it... So why did I even walk out of that river?” “Maybe to fix it.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 9.3

IMdB Rating: 9.0

11x16: Safe House

Written by: Robbie Thompson

Directed by: Stefan Pleszczynski

Original air date: March 23, 2016

Plot Synopsis:

After a dangerous creature is released into an old house, a mother and child are comatose. Sam and Dean find that Bobby and Rufus tracked the same creature so the Winchesters look to the past to catch the monster before any one dies.

Features:

A “previously on” that believes in Rufus/Bobby, flashbacks to sometime in s4, evil wallpaper, good special effects, Rufus’ fabulous body, a beautiful moment outside space and time

My Thoughts:

I had never seen this episode before, so I got really stoked when I realized that it was a Robbie Thompson episode, and it was fully justified! I love when a “filler” episode does a lot of work to fill out character details. Just because we aren’t learning more about Casifer or Amara, doesn’t mean it has to be one I would skip on a rewatch.

I really liked how smooth the transitions were between past and present, in the writing and in the directing. I loved paralleling Dean and Bobby so much, the way they both see their kid (kids, in Bobby’s case) that aren’t their kid dead in the nest.

I have missed Bobby and Rufus so much, and I’m glad we got an episode dedicated to how they were a bickering old married couple. I love that the nest was outside time and space so that Dean and Bobby got to really see each other one more time.

The only thing that I wish was different is that I think they missed some opportunities with the hallucinations Dean saw in the nest. If you wanted to keep queerbaiting us (which they did) you could have had Bobby see his dead wife and then Dean see both Cas and Amara, and we could have all argued over which one was supposed to be the mirrored love interest.

My brain is melting because of the covid so I can’t think of much more to say, but I really loved this episode, it was delightful.

Notable Lines:

“”Well if by backup you mean you do all the heavy lifting while I watch. It's Shabbat!”

“Were you ever nice?” “1985. Worst year of my life.”

“Sam and Dean are right in the middle of this thing. I'm worried about my boys, Rufus.”

“Oldest rule of hunting, Bobby. You can't save everyone.”

“How messed up are our lives that you seeing a vision of dead me is actually kind of comforting?”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 9.2

IMdB Rating: 9.0

15x13: Destiny's Child

Written by: Buckleming

Directed by: Amyn Kaderali

Original air date: March 23, 2020

Plot Synopsis:

A search for the one thing that may give the Winchesters an edge against God leads Sam and Dean to Jo's door and to a secret that may have died with Ruby; Castiel asks Jack to do the unthinkable to help the brothers in their quest.

Features:

The pizza man montage, alternate universe Sam and Dean, Jack learning how to blow bubblegum bubbles, Sister Jo and Ruby’s sordid past, Cas visiting the Empty, Meg as the Shadow, HunterCorp, Cas and Dean standing at an altar, Jack going to Eden and regaining his soul, Dean and Cas bickering like a married couple.

My Thoughts:

There is so much going on in this episode I don’t even know where to start. Buckleming strikes again with their insane pacing. Doing Stacked doesn’t particularly help with this, I have lost all semblance of an understanding of the timelines of the late seasons of Supernatural.

I have no idea WHAT they thought they were doing with the pizza man montage - like yeah showing us Meg was a good idea but the rest of it… what? Someone on the editing team is a heller.

I had almost forgotten about HunterCorp Sam and Dean. I think I actually forcibly blocked them from my memory for two reasons, the first being that they have absolutely no material impact on the plot at large (which is a huge waste of literally a second Sam and Dean), and the second being that Jared’s acting as HunterCorp Sam is so bad that it borders on a homophobic hate crime. Someone online (I didn’t save the post or I would link it) pointed out that if they were going to introduce another Sam and Dean they can’t realistically get rid of them the way they did. They’re highly skilled, highly trained hunters who could help as you literally fight God.

I am assuming that Daneel and Genevieve just told their husbands that they wanted to be on the show but that they mostly wanted to hang out with each other and Misha, and I respect that. Sister Jo and Ruby definitely had sex at least once, imo. And as much as they were claiming not to trust each other they were planning to ride out the apocalypse in the Garden of Eden together, so.

I’m mad that Hell isn’t scary still (although I certainly like Rowena’s design better than Crowley’s). I just think that it shouldn’t be so chill for Sam and Dean to walk into the place that holds their greatest trauma and have it be fine.

I’m mad that they’ve set up so many ways to visit the Empty or bring someone out of the Empty and then they drop it and don’t try to rescue Cas. And for all the emphasis on how much the Shadow wants to go back to sleep, it’s still awake at the end of the series. I love Meg as the Shadow though - I wish it had been her all along, rather than Misha being weird, or it could have taken the form of any of the many many angels they’ve killed. Also, it’s BS that Ruby never comes back after making that deal with Cas.

It’s kind of a bummer that the way Stacked worked out, the last episode of season 15 is Jack getting his soul back. The momentum of the emotional arc is all cut off since we’ve already watched the end of the series. At least it means fewer episodes per week, which is more sustainable.

Notable Lines:

“Cas, you know what's good about being dead?” “Uh, as I recall, very little.”

“You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.”

“Ruby? The demon you were sexually intimate with?”

“Why do they call this place the Empty? This place is full. It's full of sorrow and despair playing over and over again, of angels and demons dreaming about their regrets. Forever.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 7.2

IMdB Rating: 8.4

In Conclusion: Stack with today and yesterday is that Dean always loses at rock-paper-scissors.

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[widowtapes]

can we not excuse/ disregard the bad shit our favorite character has done but completely shit on characters we don’t particularly like because they’ve done bad shit? i’ve seen so many people going after robby because the bad shit he’s done but completely excuse the shit hawk has done or miguel has done. same thing goes for sam and tory. people praise sam and treat her like a saint but bash on tory because tory’s done bad shit. the whole tory/sam feud started BECAUSE of sam blaming tory for something she didn’t do. people LOVE to excuse the bad shit hawk and miguel, specifically miguel, has done but rip into robby because he kicked miguel over the balcony, etc. the whole thing with this ‘fandom’ is acting like sam and miguel can do no wrong but robby and tory are like satan reincarnated. i love hawk, he’s my favorite on CK but i don’t go out of my way to excuse the shit he’s done and bash on robby because of the bad choices he’s made. every single one of these characters have had rough life experiences even if you don’t want to admit it. obviously we have to ignolage the fact the some characters have had it worse than other characters but we can do that without taking away the fact the just because, for example, sam hasn’t had it equally as bad as tory doesn’t mean sam hasn’t had bad experiences.

here are some examples:

sam: that whole situation with kyler? like take the theater scene for example: he started feeling up sam and his goal was to have sex with her and touch her in that movie theater. is it the worst thing in the world? no. but does that mean that it wasn’t a terrible thing? no.

miguel: he grew up without a dad, he was relentlessly bullied by kyler and his posse. he was beat up in the boys locker room at the halloween dance. he was also pushed over a balcony and put in a coma. at the canyon party thing sam showed up hand in hand with robby and he thought she was cheating on him.

hawk: relentlessly bullied by kyler and like everyone else at school because of his facial deformity. he was diagnosed (?) with autism by his doctor. in the beginning of season one when he went to the dojo (before he was hawk) with demetri to join cobra kai he was singled out and bullied by johnny because of his lip.

demetri: he was hunted down by his best friend since forever in the mall because of a yelp review he made about cobra kai AFTER he got punched in the face by a grown ass man (he had to get stitches. i don’t know if kreese broke his nose or not but it couldn’t have been far from it) and chased down by a group of kids and would’ve gotten beat up if it wasn’t for robby and sam defending him. he also got his arm broken by that same (ex) best friend in a laser tag area. he was also bullied by kyler and his pussy posse for being a ‘nerd’ and just because they wanted to.

tory: she grew up with no dad, her mom was very sick so she had to take care of her mom and brother. she was wrongly accused of stealing. she got cheated on. she initially lost all of her friends after they moved to miyagi-fang. she has never had a good life in general. her landlord wanted to/ was sexually taking advantage of her. she had to work multiple jobs because her mom couldn’t and who else would come up for the money for rent. she witnessed her boyfriend kissing another girl. nobody in the other dojo’s have been thinking of ways to get her out of cobra kai. she’s had nobody in her corner rooting for her. and she was brainwashed by a grown ass man.

robby: his father was never there for him. he practically witnessed his own father care for a kid that isn’t even his. his mother was always bringing home a new guy, she was addicted to pills, she was always going out and when robby wanted to spend time with her (example: when he bought those pizzas so his mom and him could spend time together and watch movies she blew him off) she either blows him off or isn’t there at all. when she went to mexico with that guy bills weren’t payed. also when she brought home the guy that was taking her to mexico, robby thought he was breaking in so he attacked him and he got scolded for it. he got kicked out of the place he was staying because his sensei found out that his rival was robbys dad so he got angry and kicked him out. eventually he got a second chance but that didn’t last very long. he later found out that the girl he had feelings for kissed his rival/ the kid his own dad was being a father to instead of caring for his own son and that same kid proceed to tell him that sam doesn’t love robby and only loves him. when he was sent to juvy he was relentlessly bullied/ harassed by a group of kids that he didn’t even know essentially fearing every day/ night that they wold severely hurt him which they ended up doing. his father never visited him in juvy and someone who was a father figure for him never visited him when he specifically said he would. that same father figure, in his mind, betrayed him.

AH thank you @marymousers for reminding me! sam also has ptsd!!

[pinnochiro]

pinn reviews - final fantasy xv

a long ramble about final fantasy fifteen that sort of looks like a review, as written by someone who finished the game fifteen minutes ago and needs to get these words out of his head. spoilers inbound.

i'm a pretty big fan of video games. i don't know what my first was, but it was probably either banjo and kazooie or mario kart 64, at my cousin's house when i was very small. i think that video games as a medium are so interesting, since the fact that video games are inherently interactive changes the way that they tell any story. it's a shame that despite loving video games so much, i'm absolutely terrible at them.

i'm absolute dogshit at video games. whenever i boot up something new, i always play on easy mode because. i'm that bad. unfortunately, this means that a lot of video games are simply. impossible for me to beat. that's fine, as at the moment i live with my good friend lizz, who is certifiably Good at Video Games, and so we've been playing video games together for a little bit now. typically this means that she will actually play the majority of the game while i sit with her and watch, but occasionally i'll have a go, but she'll end up with the controller as soon as a boss fight or puzzle or a mechanic i just can't seem to grasp shows up. we recently played through the entirety of the kingdom hearts series together, and this was an absolute blast of a time. i'm glad to say that i adore kingdom hearts now, and it's become one of my hyperfixations, which you might be able to tell from my icon. but we'd finished the kingdom hearts series, and we were left to move onto something else. we'd also played final fantasy 7 remake, so in my wisdom, i suggested that we play another final fantasy game.

we looked through the ff games that were already purchased on our consoles thanks to lizz's uncle, and eventually, we decided that we should play. all of them. however to start, we were going to play final fantasy xv, 15, and work our way backwards through the mainline, single-player games.

i'd heard that xv wasn't very good, but honestly, i was still quite curious. one person who i'd been following on twitter for years was pretty obsessed with the main party members, to the point where i knew their names and what-not even though i didn't have much of an idea what the game itself was about. i remember watching a video by supereyepatchwolf a few years ago about how the game sucked, but i couldn't remember much of the details, and i knew, based on my obsession with kingdom hearts, that xv had started as a different game called final fantasy versus xiiv. i don't know all the details about versus thirteen, but i do know that it was originally helmed by the creator of my beloved kingdom hearts, mr tetsuya nomura, and that after many years, the vast majority of the game was thrown out, nomura wasn't in charge any more, and the whole thing was rewritten and reworked, which sounds like a fairly rough development cycle. but so what, i don't care about gameplay. i want to play the video game with those cute guys that i see fanart of on twitter, and lizz seemed happy enough to play through it with me.

and so we started final fantasy xv. i've been told that since the game was practically dead on arrival, they threw in a bunch of new content and reworked a lot of the early game before i got my hands on it. so my gameplay started with a scene of the four guys fighting some demon dude on fire and they're all old and grotty. whatever, that cutscene ends and we're put into a combat tutorial. that's over and we're on the road in what looks to be central america, pushing a car.

our four leading lads are noctis, the prince of the lucis empire, his best friend prompto, his bodyguard, gladio, and his chef and other things, ignis. i do quite like the main four members of the party in xv. prompto is quite easily my favourite, voiced by robbie daymond of goro akechi fame and with a bunch of fun little animations and quips that make him very likeable. he gets extremely excited at the idea of riding chocobos and has what i considered the best scene of the game, where he and noctis meet on a motel rooftop and discuss prompto's imposter syndrome, since he's only part of noctis' official retinue as his best friend. noctis is a fairly typical main protagonist, he's in love with a woman he hasn't seen in eight years and needs to go marry her or something, i don't care. gladio is a tough macho man with a mullet who wears leather jackets and wields a greatsword, and is apparently only 22, which is at least 10 years younger than i assumed. ignis is a strategist and chef, who takes on the most authoritative role and constantly tells noctis to not drive his car at night. i was not a fan of ignis at the start, but he grew on me, especially with how hard the game hit me with his personal arc. the four boys are off, driving to noctis' wedding in a different country across the desert when their car breaks down. we then run into the first issue of the game.

cindy is a mechanic. she also has her ass and tits out constantly, like your sleazy uncle's shirt with a naked woman was instead semi-alive as a video game person. she fixes your car and acts fairly sexual and it's just like. why do we have to do this. aren't we over overtly sexualised women in video games who have no reason for the way they dress other than the character designer was horny? whatever, i like women as much as the next guy, but cindy's design just. makes me feel so uncomfortable.

anyways you get to do a little driving around with the boys, until you stay the night before catching the boat to your fiance. overnight, you find out that noctis' kingdom has been basically destroyed by an invading empire called niflheim, and practically everyone noctis knows, including his father, are dead. you learn that noctis and his bride to be are also assumed dead, with noctis hearing his own death announcement on the radio. the game has a bunch of added cutscenes that are actually footage from the three-hour-long prequel movie that came out after the game, are extremely hard to follow and honestly i had no idea what i was looking at. anyways, noctis' family is dead, so it's time to do some hunting sidequests.

that brings us to the combat, i suppose. rather than the turn-based or even active turn-based combat that the series is known for, xv opts for more modern action rpg-styled combat. i was, naturally, terrible at this, but i managed to get around it with the fact that. it is almost impossible to die in this video game, provided you have enough items. the game allows you so much time to heal yourself that there's practically no way to have your entire party wipe unless you're doing absolutely terrible, and even then, your party members will probably try and heal you themselves before that happens. lizz tells me that the combat is boring, you just push the same button over and over and then you win. i do appreciate that, for someone like me who is terrible at reading enemy movements, there is a giant button that pops up on screen that tells you when to push the block button, but even then i was prone to fucking it up. whether that's the bad game design or my terrible gaming abilities is up to you to decide. anyways, the game is fairly easy but has annoying combat, your teammates limit breaks will only land about 50% of the time (or never, if you are gladio) and i was still bad at it, so i didn't have all that much fun.

instead of an active levelling system, the game will only tally your character's level ups when you either make camp or visit a hotel. camping is, in my opinion, the only saving grace of this game. each time you make camp, you get to see the characters doing fun little camping activities together and just hanging out, ignis will cook up a new meal in a dramatic fashion and everyone will compliment him and eat it off their coleman's branded plates, it's just very fun. you also get to see what pictures prompto has taken, which is one of my favourite gameplay features. prompto's passion is photography, and while i support him in this wholeheartedly, his picture taking skills are, quite frankly, awful. the game will randomly take shots while you're on the move, which leaves you with a delightful selection of awkward poses, characters hidden behind bushes, pictures taken while someone is half-dead in combat, and snaps where the natural lighting absolutely makes it impossible to tell what's going on. it's hilarious and going through prompto's collection of photos each night is honestly the best part of the game. we managed to wind up with a few shots that, even despite being scripted events, turned out absolutely terrible, and i will cherish those forever.

anyways, since noctis' father and fiance are dead, that leaves him the king of lucis. the only important person to make it out of the capital alive tells you to drive to the middle of nowhere, where he randomly springs on you. hey. go into a bunch of these dungeons and absorb a bunch of swords, this is your destiny as king and how you will defeat the empire. noctis goes, uh, alright i guess, and you're set loose again to wander around for a bit collecting the 'royal arms'. this plot point wasn't explained well but hey, whatever, we're collecting the glowy swords and that's fine.

you're introduced at some point to ardyn, the main antagonist. he's old, kind of groady and wears a fedora. he's a dick to you and talks about his automobeeel. apparently my friend miri thinks he's hot, she is wrong.

i can't remember what happens specifically but you're told that your fiance is still alive and in fantasy venice, and she's talking to the gods on your behalf to borrow their powers. there's a mission where you follow some purple trees that are electric, and you do that i guess. i enjoyed riding the chocobos around, but couldn't care much for the plot at this point. ardyn leads you to a volcano, where you fight a giant lava god. he tries to step on you and i, a denizen of the internet and with an active fear of foot fetishists, was extremely uncomfortable. noctis becomes friends with foot man and a lightning god who lived in those trees, and ardyn steals your car.

very upset by this, noctis and his gang risk everything to sneak into a military base and steal it back. because this is a video game, this works out fine.

there's a little mining city which is all about Girl Power, because all the Women run the Mining Industry like Girl Bosses, and you hang around there for a bit. because all the women are so Empowered, they wear bikinis all the time with overalls over the top. gladio decides he needs to fuck off for a bit, i have no idea what he does since i haven't played the dlc, and then he comes back with another scar. you hang out with his sixteen year old sister, who has a crush on the engaged and 20-year old noctis, and then you drive her to a lighthouse. when she's in your party, she can't really fight, but she gets a pink chocobo and i thought that was very cute. we turned out own chocobo white and lizz named him 'jones' after a mount she has in ffxiv.

eventually, you have a long boat ride over to fantasy venice. this is the part where the game stops being 'fun with a few issues in combat and a rushed and poorly told story.' the open world, which was a main feature with a bunch of little areas to find where noctis can fish, little hunting sidequests and random photo spots where prompto takes touristy photos, is now gone, and it will not return for the entire rest of the game. you can 'go back in time', but the open world was the most enjoyable part of the game, and it kind of really sucks that the main story doesn't let you have any more freedom like that.

after arriving in fantasy venice, you have a talk with fantasy hillary clinton and beg her to let your girlfriend summon a god into the middle of her city. hillary agrees, and you don't get to meet up with your fiance, because even if the game is constantly telling you how much noctis loves her, there is. barely any interactions between the two in the entire game. from what i can tell, they met when noctis was a child and they haven't seen each other in ten years but are still fantasy dog pen-pals. noctis marrying her was supposed to make an alliance or something like that, but her brother has betrayed her to the army. noctis' girlfriend is also an oracle, which means she can heal people, i guess? everyone talks about how important she is and she's constantly telling people that she needs to use her powers to help noctis but she's practically a non-entity.

as can be expected of most female love interests in a game primarily focused on men, noctis' fiance is killed while summoning a god for noctis to befriend. noct gets very mad about this, and turns super saiyan and kills the god back, but his girlfriend is dead and that's super sad you guys. there's a beautiful prerendered cutscene where she says goodbye to noctis but since we barely know her, and we've only been told over and over that they're in love without anything to actually well, show this, it didn't have much of an impact. fantasy venice is destroyed, and ignis is blinded while trying to help calm the giant raging god.

iggy's blindness and how the game makes you account for this and grow to care for him was one of the highlights, in my opinion, as well as crushingly depressing. while i'm not disabled and have no right to say if this was 'good disabled representation' or anything like that, i believe that the game handles it decently enough. the group falls apart as noctis is upset about his girlfriend, gladio is extremely mad that noctis won't care for ignis, and prompto just wants everyone to get along. there's a mission where gladio constantly yells at you passive aggressive things to noctis about how he's a cunt for running, which is obnoxious, but the character arc itself is fairly strong. when you make camp, ignis can't cook anymore, so everyone eats cup noodles in a depressing ass cutscene. ignis remains in your party for the rest of the game despite his disability, and he doesn't magically regain his sight like other fantasy media would do, which at the very least i think is good. i'm not sure what the opinion of actual disabled people is of the character, considering how often disabled characters are either turned into misery porn to make the abled audience be glad that isn't them and if ignis' arc falls into this trap, but i hope that it wasn't handled too poorly, as that would just be another terrible mark in this game's list of bad moves.

the characters eventually make it to the evil empire's capital, which is abandoned and filled with daemons. the characters learn that ardyn is super evil and taught the king of the empire how to turn humans into daemons, which has now happened to the entire city. the 'magitek suits', presumed to be enchanted armour that fights as the empire's infantry, actually house the souls of the human-turned daemons. honestly i like this as a plot point but the game handles it pretty terribly. there could have been more lead up to this, the explanation is pretty lacking, and prompto's Big Plot Twist is. terribly handled. turns out that prompto was born in the empire and was going to be one of those empty soldier daemons, but he was rescued by people belonging to noctis' empire. not that the game tells you that. instead, prompto goes 'turns out i'm one of ... them' and Does Not Elaborate. The game doesn't tell you shit, not about prompto's past, not about how he feels about this, not about how anyone else feels about this either because the other party members just go 'oh that sucks, good thing you're not evil' and the scene ends. robbie daymond tries so hard to sell these terrible, terrible lines, and it almost entirely fails, i'm so sorry prompto. fortunately because i'm a nosy ass, i read prompto's wikia page and knew the plot twist ahead of time, because i don't think i would have even registered it if i didn't.

anyways everyone in the evil empire is dead and ardyn starts talking about how he's immortal and an ancient king of noctis' country but the gods thought he sucked because he's too evil. i missed most of this because the cats got the zoomies and were dashing across the couch right in the middle of his speech so i can't tell you anything else. noctis tries to get a big magic crystal to fight him and instead. gets schlorped inside.

TEN YEARS LATER

yes then ten years actually pass while noctis is asleep. the game shows this by switching the head on noctis' character model to have a beard, but that's it, no changes in animations or whatever. the sky is permanently night and only one human civilisation remains, the rest destroyed by daemons. as a plot point, this ends up feeling. extremely worthless. why was noctis asleep for ten whole goddamn years? so we can wake up and go 'damn it sucks out here'. but it's barely even a like, incentive to fix everything, because you have a long talk with a former child you were friends with where he talks about how humanity is still going fine and everyone's okay and the world has moved on without you. it feels. pointless. when you meet up with your party members, they are exactly as you left them, only with slightly different character models. there is no change in the voice performance, the character's movements or how they talk to show that they've been without you for ten years. they barely mention it. i'm just. so confused as to why they decided that a ten year timeskip was the way to go? since nothing really changes, couldn't you have made it like, two years? one year? six months?? have the characters react a little more? something??? at least if it was only a year or so i wouldn't have to deal with the fact that noctis looks like norman reedus with his shitty facial hair now.

anyways after that there's a bunch of long and boring boss fights. you fight some dead kings for some reason, your party members get a little bit to talk about how cool they are and how much they love noctis, and then you meet up with ardyn. there's another boring boss fight and god this was only a few hours ago but it's already gone from my head. you summon the gods and the old kings to beat the shit out of him after you both go super saiyan again? there's incredible music but it feels barely earned and just kind of eh. anyways, noctis dies, which was the price of using the crystal of light or whatever the fuck. his ghost marries his fiance's ghost finally, and they smile as they look at one of prompto's pictures. you can pick any picture you want to go here, and then the credits roll, showing all of the pictures you saved of prompto's shots. showing me all the pictures at the end is honestly lovely, but it really only served to remind me of how much more fun the game was in the first half. and that's the end, of final fantasy xv.

so what did i think of the story? it's terribly cobbled together and struggles to get you to feel anything and play out all the plot beats. you feel awful for the countless employees who spent years working on the beautiful cutscenes only to have them be in this game, which sucks and the story barely gets through. there were parts that i enjoyed, mostly the thing about the daemons being people, but honestly the rest of it is a mess. it's hard to follow at the best of times and just awkward and terribly written at the worst. the ending is cheap, and it doesn't feel like you've actually accomplished anything. i left that game feeling numb and empty, sad that i'd wasted so much time to end up with such a colossal failure of a conclusion.

i had fun with the game when it was my four little guys running around doing sidequests and camping together. after the midway point of the game, there's none of that, and you're bogged down into a plot that just pushes you from point a to point b and boring overlong bossfight to boring overlong bossfight. the character moments between your party are a lot of fun, but the second you hit fantasy venice, everything is pretty much on rails and you can't do anything except what the game tells you explicitly to do.

should you play this game? no lol. if anything i've mentioned about the story interests you, you'll be better off watching a lore video or reading the wiki. if you do want to play it after all that, just don't proceed after the myrthril refining quest, it's pretty much all downhill from there. will i play the dlc? unlikely, i think lizz and i will just watch a cutscene movie of those.

this game left me feeling empty and numb and not in a fun way. i wanted, so, so hard to like this game, and it all crashed around me in a beautifully overproduced and confusingly written cascade. i love you prompto, but even your cute little freckly face and terrible photography can't save this trainwreck of a game.

tl;dr - final fantasy xv sucks. i hope that 13, our next ff game, will be better.

[indecisive-behaviors]

Okay so I just reblogged a thing talking about season 2 and 3 of Cobra Kai and I have some Thoughts about what they did to everyone’s character arcs in this so if you’d like a rant it’s under the cut with spoilers from all 3 seasons plus spoilers for all 3 Karate Kid movies

Okay so my issues start with one very key scene that I personally think fucked up the whole rest of the narrative, and by extension everyone else’s character arcs: which is from Different but Same. And no not that scene- not yet at least.

The first scene that I think fucked over the narrative and killed several character arcs was the beach scene. Miguel, reasonably distraught over the idea that Sam is hiding him from her dad(which she is actually doing to be fair), gets completely drunk and when Sam and Robby arrive together he loses it, pushes Sam and subsequently gets dumped. Now why do I think this ruined everything? It completely goes against Miguel’s character up to this point. Miguel is absolutely trying to mimic Johnny in a lot of key ways but also up to this point Miguel has also been Johnny’s conscience; he’s smart and kind and had not at all shown to be anything even close to what Johnny was in KK1. He’s stood up for his friends, defended the girl he likes from bullies, he’s a huge mama’s boy and a bit of a hopeless romantic. In no episode up until that point does he ever display any tendency towards unnecessary violence, despite Johnny’s “strike first” motto. Miguel getting wasted and violent does not add up in my mind. Miguel is supposed to be a narrative parallel to Daniel for fuck sake. Also, and this is my main complaint, there is no fucking reason for Miguel to immediately jump to the conclusion that Sam is seeing Robby- literally none. They look very much alike, hell Robby looks a little like Amanda honestly, he could very well be her cousin for all Miguel knows. Robby and Sam don’t even act like a couple in the shot- they’re literally just sitting next to each other at family dinner. None of this subplot makes any fucking sense.

And then, obviously, there’s the very next scene- Johnny goes with Daniel back to his place, tipsy and happy and seemingly in a very good place with each other. Then Robby shows up, Johnny loses his shit and Daniel proceeds to get pissed and kick Robby out. Now there is one thing I point out about this scene whenever I talk about it that doesn’t add up: no where in this scene is it ever even implied that either Johnny or Daniel know about Robby’s original intentions. (Also nothing up till that point ever even establishes why Robby knows about Daniel and Johnny’s rivalry in the first fucking place for the record). There is no reason for Johnny to suspect that Daniel knew and was hiding it, or even that Robby was doing it on purpose, and there is no reason for Daniel to get mad or even suspect that Robby knew what he was doing or was lying about it; and the fact of the matter is that Robby never actually lied(also Daniel never fucking asked) about his home situation. His mom was neglectful and an addict, and his father wasn’t in the picture. That’s it, and none of that was a lie. Now I’m not sitting here and denying that what Robby did was wrong because it absolutely was-- it was manipulative and unfair to Daniel and he had a right to be angry when he found out it was the case but there is nothing to suggest that he didn’t just jump to conclusions. And also, personally, I don’t think any of that justifies kicking a teenager to the curb, and one that Daniel explicitly knows has no one and nothing to fall back on. Be angry, be furious with Robby, but leaving a teenager to fend for themselves is cruel and completely unjustifiable behavior from a grown ass adult(also there’s a whole can of worms involved in Daniel never trying to figure out where the fuck Robby’s parents are and letting him live there without an explanation but that’s for a different rant).

Now assume none of that weird subplot happens, there is another way to have the Robby and Miguel rivalry that would have made so much more fucking sense and it only hinges on one fucking thing- Robby enters the tournament. It could be with or without Daniel’s approval(maybe even with a KK3 parallel, but Daniel honestly seems pretty into the tournament these days so he’d probably be down for Robby joining and reping Miyagi-do), but all we need is for him to do it.  Robby gets there, and Johnny sees him, potentially rocking a Miyagi-do gi and can have his surprised/hurt moment with him and Daniel, even potentially a confrontation between them. We can also still have Miguel beating Robby in the tournament and having Johnny be conflicted about his son losing. Hawk can even still hurt him and give Johnny his “holy shit this is wrong” epiphany and Miguel not understanding why Johnny wants him to go easy on Robby. Robby can still be hurt and upset by thinking Johnny cares more about Miguel after he loses.

Okay now as for season 2? Assuming everything stays the same in season 1, I have one MAJOR complaint. Robby becoming Sam’s love interest; and no it’s not because I think Miguel and Sam should be an endgame couple when the show is over(I do but that’s beside the point) but because it turns Sam into a plot device. This carries over into season 3 where she starts dating Miguel again and apparently just never breaks it off with Robby which is such a dick move I can not for the life of me imagine Sam of all fucking people doing it. She isn’t perfect by any means but she’s also outspoken and and much more confident by that point and should not have had a problem breaking up with someone in an email. But I digress, back to season 2- the moment I saw that Sam and Robby were going to be a couple I immediately knew the writers fucked up. There was no build up for it, nothing in season 1 to foreshadow this as a possibility(Different but Same doesn’t count because that was a whiplash of an episode) and they just decided offhandedly to put her in the middle of Robby’s and Miguel’s rivalry. There was no reason to make them a couple other than to fuck with Miguel and set up the Tory & Sam rivalry which could have happened fucking anyway with the shit at the country club, the rift between Sam and Aisha, and Miguel’s ongoing feelings for Sam even after he’s dating Tory(also a dick move what the fuck Miguel??). Adding Robby as fuel to the fire was super unnecessary and all it did was set up the clusterfuck that was the season 2 finale.

And OH BOY was that finale a clusterfuck. First of all, as a prelude- Fuck. Daniel. He pulled the exact same shit as in season 1 with dumping Robby the second he does anything even a little bit wrong. But also, as a gut punch, Robby didn’t actually do anything wrong. What was he supposed to do at the party? He couldn’t stop Sam from drinking even though he wanted to, it was her (very poor) choice. But he did what he could, he kept an eye on her, and when the cops showed up, he didn’t just leave her, he put her in the car and drove her somewhere he thought she’d be safe without having to immediately face her father(who super fucking overreacted btw) while she was recovering. This scene, which could have been an excellent bonding moment for Johnny and Robby, and an introduction to Sam getting to know Johnny outside of her father’s influence, was turned into a brawl for no fucking reason. 

Which leads me to the school fight. And right off the bat I’ve got to say this; even as, and maybe especially as, a person who has written post season 3 fix it fics, there is no way for Robby and Miguel to convincingly fix what happened in the season 2 finale. Yes, what Robby did was absolutely an accident and he has already done his time for it. But the elephant in the room is this: Miguel could have died. Or at the very least, been totally paralyzed. There is not a good way to come back from that. They will always have that hanging over their heads, even if they somehow reach an understanding. And I know someone is going to try and make the argument about that being a parallel to Johnny and Daniel in KK1, but if it is that it’s a terrible parallel. What Johnny did was supremely fucked up and I won’t deny that, especially with the Halloween scene and Daniel’s knee in the tournament(which actually was technically more Bobby’s doing, but I digress), but it was never “almost permanently disable/kill someone” bad. (Again there’s a whole can of worms to open about the shit with Chozen and Daniel’s seemingly pretty easy forgiveness of a man who tried to kill him because what the fuck?? But again that’s another rant.) But the writers wanted to push the envelope so now Johnny will always have the tug of war of choosing Robby, who he loves but who also really fucked up, and Miguel, who was the original reason for the rivalry in the first place but who was also the one who, again, almost died because of his son, even if he somehow fixes his relationship with both. It will always be “why did you pick him over me?” and Johnny will never have a good enough answer for either of them. And finally the big complaint- Johnny completely regressing in season 3. Season 3 honestly felt like a rehashing of season 1 because we literally had to see him progress in his arc all over again from square fucking one. He still isn’t there for Robby, he’s still fucking up things with Miguel and his family, he’s still fucking up his relationship with Daniel, he still chooses to miss his appointment with Robby to see Miguel(who would have been there after the appointment and he could have seen him then), he abandons half of his fucking students to fend for themselves and leaves the other half with a man he knows is a dangerous psychopath. And yes we get the cool scene at the end of December 19, but is it worth it?? I’m genuinely asking because, as much as I love that scene, I really don’t believe it is.(edit: Also fuck that whole subplot with Eli and Demetri- you don’t get to just break the arm of the boy who was your best friend and just have that go away with no repercussions. Fuck. That. I hope Demetri gets at minimum an actual on screen apology, and hopefully Eli actually trying to make amends.)

We could have still had the big team up- have Johnny admit to Daniel that he’s fucked up and tell him everything that’s happening with Kreese. Have them join forces to defeat Kreese in the tournament. Have the dumb fucking bet. Introduce Terry Silver in season 4. Have Johnny’s and Daniel’s tenuous truce strained at every turn because they’re idiots. Do all of it. But y’know what? We could have had all of that- all of it- without it being at the expense of at least 2 character arcs; Johnny’s and also Robby’s.

Also before I end this I just have to add- nothing and I mean nothing will ever redeem Kreese or Silver for me. I do not give a singular shit about either of their tragic backstories, I just don’t. I get why and how Chozen got his redemption- he was a teenager when that shit happened, and while the shit he pulled is personally unforgivable in my opinion, he has actively been trying to redeem himself by spending the last however many decades making it up to his community. I’d even understand a Barnes redemption to an extent, even though I wouldn’t accept it, because he was also very young and being manipulated by, again, a dangerous psychopath. But Kreese and Silver? Abso-fucking-lutely not. They were two grown ass adults who purposefully targeted an 18 year old and put him through emotional and physical for weeks, paid someone to intimidate him through both threats of physical violence but also through vandalism, and gaslighted him and isolated him from the only family he had at the time because he beat them in a children’s karate competition. Look, I’m not sorry, I don’t give a fuck about Kreese’s tragic backstory, nothing about what Kreese has done can be rationalized by just saying “oh his mom and girlfriend died and he was in ‘Nam”. And any good thing he does for Tory, or even Robby, does not balance out all the harm he has caused. Silver is even less redeemable- I don’t care that he almost died in war, I’m an army brat I know plenty of people who almost died and don’t act like this. In canon we have evidence of him being completely, unrepentantly evil- the first scene with him in it has him basically confirmed as the BP of nuclear waste, he pays people so he can beat them up, he’s been personally funding Kreese’s child indoctrination classes. They could pull out the saddest backstory for him possible and I would not give a shit. And that’s fine. We don’t need every bad guy to have a tragic backstory- sometimes an evil villain can just be an evil villain for no reason, not all of them need a traumatic turning point that the authors shove in to make the audience sympathize with them. So please, writers, stop trying to make me feel sorry for them because I really don’t and I don’t understand anyone who does.

Okay rant over.

[springmagpies]

My Uncle Reacts to AoS Season 4

So, instead of getting chores done this morning, my uncle and I finished Season 4 of Agents of Shield. Here are his reactions! Enjoy! Fair warning, it is a long post because Steve had a lot of feelings.

4x01

Before the episode: I’m guessing Coulson was like “I got too close to the situation and could no longer be impartial.” And then he passed over the title of director to May or that general guy. Talbot! That’s his name.

He’s like ghost rider is all. Holy crap he is ghost rider! I didn’t realize he was marvel.

Why’d they have to break up the band?

I am concerned about the robots.

Well, ghost rider is badass.

4x02

“You’re an engineer Mack. And a small tank.” Bwhahahahahaha, that’s so true.

The director is Talbot. Ooooh, not Talbot. Someone new.

Oh, Daisy has a picture of Lincoln. I miss him.

May is not okay. May needs a nap.

I still can’t get over Mack offering that maybe they’re just ghosts. Fitzsimmons faces were amazing.

Mace is such a politician.

4x03

*Lincoln is mentioned* Owwwwwww

I love the Phil, Mack, and Fitz team up.

Wow, Fitz is badass this episode.

Okay, so Elena is amazing. That shot with the light was awesome!

4x04

Fitzsimmons moving in together, count me in.

I see where Daisy is coming from, but not awesome that she’s using her friends and then leaving.

Come on Daisy! Come home.

Heylo? Hahahahaha

Radcliffe, I don’t think telling the android it’s okay to lie sometimes is a good idea.

What’s that face she’s giving? Oh shit, is she feeling things? Is she feeling things for Fitz. That’s not good.

I don’t trust James. *moments later* Called it.

Yes, Mack, two fire dudes just fell into fireworks.

Jemma for sure knows she’s an android.

“I prefer a classical beauty myself.” Awww, Fitz.

4x05

Oh, Fitz, a high five will not fix her being mad at you. Trust me.

“I’m sure they have it under control.” *cuts to chaos* Okay, that’s the best transition of the whole show.

Robbie, please don’t go after that guy. Just keep going please. Dammit. Why can no one just follow instructions in Shield.

Way to go Jemma! But what happened with Mace?? What did he do?

May had a heart to heart with her and she’s still leaving? Is Daisy really going to leave after all of this? She can’t, right?

Robbies uncle is going to get sucked into that book. Yeah, look at his expression. That’s not good at all is it.

Well that senator sucks.

4x06

*Mace mad at Coulson* Daaaang

Fitz is so smart. He would be a millionaire if he was an inventor or something. But he just wants to help people.

Wait, shit, Eli is bad!

*Fitz, Coulson, and Robbie disappear* Oh no!!!! Wait, that’s how the episode ends! Noooo!!

4x07

Shit, where are they.

Oh, so that’s where they are. That’s not good.

“I have to phone Simmons to tell her... I’m in another dimension.” Bwhahahahaha oh no.

That’s not Mack. Holy shit!

“Oh Mack’s the ghost rider no big deal. But you can’t hear us.” Oh my god, these lines are amazing.

The dialogue this episode is fantastic.

No!!!!! Don’t give the darkhold to Radcliffe. He’s already so morally grey!!!

Fitz is going to hit Mace

Aww, Fitzsimmons

There’s some flirtation with Phil and Melinda going on.

Have we seen who’s in that photo Mack is looking at? Hope?

Oh hey Robbie, how was hell.

Ummm, is Aida building a brain? Is she corrupted. Yep. She’s corrupted. We’ve got a corrupted android. Great.

4x08

Coulson’s comedic timing is everything.

Oof, Robbie is not having a good time.

“Oh yeah, Fitz solved that” Of course he did. He’s Fitz.

*Badass Fitzsimmons duo scene* They truly are a dynamic duo aren’t they. That shot was awesome!

*Daisy looking at Robbie’s car* well, you’ve got a sweet car.

*Mackelena finally kiss* gasps. There it is!

*Aida kills Nathanson* Oh dears.

*Reveal that May is an LMD* Wait wait wait. Holy shit. Oh shit. Damn.

4x09

Aida’s so sweet to May. And she sweetly killed Nathanson like it was nothing. Not creepy at all.

Once again Mack’s lines are amazing.

Yeah, don’t attack the android guys. Not a good idea.

“Why would you want to hurt me Leopold.” Aaaah haaaa, umm. No.

“Well, Simmons has only been kidnapped twice on this planet.” Hahahahahahaha that’s hilarious.

Smart people are stupid. That’s amazing.

*Aida freezes may* AAAH, she doesn’t even know she’s a robot!

*Radcliffe reveal* O. M. G. He’s corrupted. He played them. Asshole. Dammit he read it for just a second! No!

This is a good part of the show! I’m really enjoying this.

4x10

What the heck’s in that brief case?

And Radcliffe is now super creepy.

Poor Fitz, he doesn’t know his friend totally betrayed him.

“I did this to protect you.” Awww, Fitz. I mean, let’s not make robots, but that’s still really sweet. He just wanted to protect Simmons and everyone.

*May wakes up* Jesus, god May. She’s a badass. Imagine waking up like that! God! That’s terrifying.

“I can’t help feeling like somethings off.” Yeah, May, you aren’t real.

Mace isn’t an inhuman! Oh damn.

*Fitz analyzing Aida’s head* Uh oh Fitz.

“Is it weird that I found that attractive?” Hahahahahahahaha. Fantastic.

*Coulson back in charge* hell yeah!

*May finds out she’s an LMD* Aaaaaaah! Well, that’s an existential crisis.

4x11  

Does Radcliffe have more of them? Because he just happened to have May.

*May waking up over and over again* Feels like I’m watching The Good Place.  

*Aida breaks a glass* That’s concerning that a robot would make a mistake like that.

*Hope reveal* Oh that’s awful! Poor Mack.

Whose the other LMD?

*Radcliffe LMD reveal* Ohhhh noooo. Poor Fitz.

4x12

Hey! I was wondering where the lanyard guys were!

“You’re going all Gollumy again” bwhahahahaha that’s amazing

“I’ve lost too much already, I’m not losing you.” Awww, Phil.

*Robo Radcliffe talks about Fitz’s past* Oh my gosh, that explains so much. Oh Fitz! Screw Fitz’s dad.

How many Koenigs are there?

Awww, baby Fitz!—Maggie

I bet that’s his real mom too!—Steve

Fitz and Simmons are cute!

*Philinda kiss* Noooo! She’s a robot!

“Sorry, you weren’t meant to last” Radcliffe you ass. You evil ass.

4x13

*Agnes reveal* Eeeek, creepy. That’s who she’s based on!

Wait, is she really Australian? Damn, she does a great American accent.  

Mace really got the short end of the stick in a lot of this didn’t he.

*Shockley gets turned into an inhuman* Oooh shit.

Did they just put Shockley on the plane. The dude that blows up? Well, damn.

*Fitzsimmons realize Shockley is the bomb* Way to go dynamic duo. Now gooooo! Oh, they’re going. Simmons pushing Fitz is amazing.

Aaaaaah! Fitz! Fitz and Mace!

*Fitzsimmons hug* Awww. I know I’ve said it before but they’re cute.

Noooo! Mace! Shit they kidnapped Mace!

*Aida takes put on Agnes’s necklace* Ewwwww, creepy. Creepy creepy creepy! Aaah.

4x14

*The superior walking* He must have this ‘I’m so cool face’ on at all times.

Aww, is Radcliffe in there to be with Agnes. That’s so sad.

*Flashback with Phil and May* Aww, May is all playful. It’s before the sad times.

*Mace chained* that’s not great for your circulation.

They’re going to kill Mace. No, don’t kill Mace.

“Morales, you’re with me.” Uh oh, Morales. More redshirts with names making me nervous.

“You’ve enhanced yourself with alien technology.” Actually Fitz built his hand.

“Cool origin story, bro.” Okay, that’s incredible.

“Concern only slightly lessened.” Davis is just like ‘thanks dude.’ Fantastic.

Mack doesn’t need super powers to be a badass.

*LMD reveal* Holy shit. Holy shiiiit. They switched out all four of them??? All four??? Holy shiiiit. Fitzsimmons are all alone. Aaaahaaa.

“Even filth has a purpose.” Ewwww, and she’s leaning over him like that. So creeeeppyyy. Eewwww.

“He’s a shrink.” Oh awwww. It’s Andrew. She falls in love with him.

Well I guess Phil and Melinda’s robots can be together. Kind of weird but okay.

Oh my god, this is stressing me out!!!

‘Even filth has a purpose.” Gaaah, ewww. I’m still thinking about it.

So is Radcliffe even in control anymore? Or is he too preoccupied with the framework to care. Like, is Aida just doing whatever the heck she wants now because that’s unsettling.

4x15

Where are all of them? Oh they’re in the framework. Uh oh.

Ewwww, Aida is evil! He’s (Ivanov) alive and she’s cutting into him.

Aaah, they’ve got them surrounded. It’s so creepy.

This is some body snatchers shit.

*fitzsimmons LMD scene* *Steve biting his nails with wide eyes* oh my god that was awful.

*Steve rewinds to rewatch the LMD scene* they’re so good. And it hurt so much to see Fitz go so cold. Owwww. Because it was him and how he would act and then it just shuts off. Ugh, they’re so good.

*Jemma stabbing Fitz scene* Oh he’s thought about getting married. Oh my god, that’s so awful. So disturbing. That hurts. They’re so talented.

*Daisy LMDs* Ohhhh that’s so disturbing. This is all so disturbing. Oh my gosh.

*Daisy and Jemma scene* Awwww, they found the only other person to trust. That’s so sweet. Gosh, that was also a brilliantly acted scene.

They’re all such good actors. All of them.

God, this is all so disturbing.

*Aida kills Radcliffe* oh shit. Aaaaah. That’s so creepy.

“Because you and Fitz belong together.” Thats the truth.

“Their poor base” -Maggie

“And they just retiled the bathrooms.” -Steve

Ooh, quake jump, that’s so cool.

*Slow motion quake* That’s sooo badasssss!

*Davis flying the Zephyr* Aah, Davis. Careful. He just started training.

*LMD May blows up the base.* oooh ho.  Damn.

“Lincoln?” Oh noooo. That’s awful.

*Ward reveal* Whaaaaat?

*Coulson reveal* Whaaaaaat?

*Mack reveal* oh nooo, he’s got his daughter.

*Fitz reveal* Whaaaaaat? But, damn.

*Jemma reveal* Whaaaaaaaaat? She’s in a grave? Who’s in the car with Fitz?

*May reveal* is she an avenger? *Hydra logo appears* Waaaaait. Whaaaaaaaaat?

What the hell is going on. What the hell? What is this place. Are they all evil? Some of them evil? Mack isn’t evil right?

*Ivanov’s head* Ewwww creepy.

Whaaaat the helllll. As Fitz would say *does Fitz impression* what the hell?

Dammit why do I have to put the kids to bed!! I want to watch the next episode!! Gosh dang it.

That’s disturbing count: around 15

4x16

“Skye?” Skye??? Skye!!!

*Logo* ooooh, agents of hydra

“You’re on another planet this morning.” Yeah, she is. No shit Ward.

*Daisy looks up Lincoln* Awwww. Owwwww.

*Jemma jumps from the grave.* Lucky she was in a shallow grave.

They’re having a bad week.

Vijay isn’t real. He’s at the bottom of the ocean.

*Ward punches Vijay* wait, did he want him to stop talking? Hmmm.

*Coulson class scene* Aaaahhaa that’s not awful at all.

*May Bahrain reveal* oh shit, it changed that much! Shit.

“We’ve got him doctor” Radcliffe? *Fitz reveal*  Ooooh nooo! Noooo! Shit, noooo! Jemma died and he went all dark. Nooooo.

“It’s a magical place.” Oh damn!

“My father used to say...” Shit, does Fitz have his dad’s influence?????

*Ward double agent reveal* Ooooooh! Shiiit. That’s so interesting!!

“This isn’t the framework this is hell” Jemma’s so pissed.

“Drones, Dwarves. Whatever.” Awww, Jemma’s heart just broke right there.

Are they stuck in the framework! Well shit!

*Fitz and Aida kiss* Ewwww. I mean it makes sense in this world because of course she’s using Fitz but ewww.

She replaced Jemma with herself. That’s not creepy at all.

“Daisy?” Aaaah! He remembers!

This place is messed up! Interesting, but messed up!

4x17

“I make my own soap now.” Bwhahahahahaha. That’s amazing.

Aww, Mack has his daughter. And she’s adorable. Oh no!

Ophelia? Oooh, she’s got her own name.

“I’d cross the universe for you.” Ewwww! Noooo. He literally crossed the universe for Jemma.

*Fitz and Aida make out* *Maggie screams and Steve shivers* But why is Fitz so hot in the framework though—Maggie *Steve nods*

“The soap made me do it.” Bwhahahahaha

*Mace reveal* Aaaaah! Mace! He’s all gruff now and an inhuman! He got everything that he ever wanted.

“And we’ll make our society great again.” Ewwwwwwwhewe!

This is so interesting! I’m really liking it!

*Mack and hope get taken by Hydra* that’s so awful! That is so disturbing!

Coulson is so nerdy, I love it.

“You’re Daisy Johnson. We’re agents of shield.” Mack remembers.

*Revealed that Mack doesn’t remember* No! Shit.

*Fitz kills Agnes* *sharp intake of breath, Steve stays silent for a very long time.*

*Mack joins Shield* Good job Mack.

“How do you feel?”-Maggie.

Steve quietly: “sick.”

4x18

I love how Mace is all scruffy and his suits all scratched.

Aaah, evil Fitz makes me sad.

*Jemma seeing Mack and Hope* Yeah, it’s an oh shit moment.

“Tell your old man all about it.” *Steve gasps* Oh no.

“I don’t know the kind of man I’d be without you father.” “That’s why I’m here.” Yep, to brainwash him.

TRIP!

*Brainwash room* Oh no! It’s the other kid too! No!

MACE! Noooo! Why would Aida do that. She’s so evil.

That’s so messed up.

*May used Terrigen on Daisy* Yes. Good job May. And hopefully it’ll heal her in the process.

4x19

Ha, Bakshi has a tv show.

Aww, mace is dead. He was a good man.

*Daisy quakes Aida out a window* *Steve laughs* That took her by surprise didn’t it.

“It’s like sipping poison...” Mmm, Fox News.

“You’re the new head of hydra” Yikes.

*Ward throws remote* Umm, you guys have limited remotes!

*Steve pauses show* I don’t like any of this. It’s interesting but I hurt inside. It hurts that Fitz is evil. Mace is dead. Agnes is dead. Radcliffe is in prison. May was evil. I’m sad.

Aww, Coulson all of a sudden became that paternal leader.

Wait, so she totally used Fitz in like every way. What a jerk.

Trips the best.

Sorry Ward. She wants to feel bad for you but she can’t.

So much Scottishness this season. I love it.

*Radcliffe yells at Alistar* yep, because you’re a worthless asshole ya jerk. Oof, he just throat punched Radcliffe.

Aww, Coulson is coming into his own.

“When this is over-“ Do I get Skye! “Do I get my Skye back?” Called it!

I liked that scene with Grant. It was the redemption that the other Ward didn’t deserve but this one did. It was nice. Also really well acted.

“Hydra giving alternative facts.” Ooooh, they’re calling them out. They are so not fans of Trump and it’s amazing.

*Coulson on the news* This is Shield’s please vote! Please vote.

That was amazing.

4x20

Yeah, I hate all of this.

This all hurts.

*Fitz talks to Radcliffe* Come on Radcliffe, please don’t betray us. Please.

*Jemma kills Alistair* Well, that’s not going to help us.

“I’m sure everything is fine.” It is not. Simmons killed Fitz’s dad.

I hate this. It’s fascinating and I hate it. She’s just made him mad. God, no.

*Trip saying goodbye* Awww, this hurts. He’s goneeee in our world. Whyyyyy.

Is Aida trying to build her spine *body being built on the other side* Ohhh. Damn.

*Coulson gets shot* SHIT

*Coulson wakes up* You’re going to have to fight a killer robot, Phil.

*May wakes up* Awww she did it! She followed him!!

*Radcliffe redeems himself* Yes! Radcliffe! Yes! Thank you!

*Fitz falls through* Thank God!

Thank you Radcliffe.

*Mack not coming with* Maggie, I really don’t like this.

Oh gosh, Fitz is so freaked out. They’re all so freaked out. Aaah, Aida!

*Aida and Fitz teleport* Well that was unexpected.

I feel really ill. Like, this hurts a lot. I hurt a lot.

It’s like The Red Wedding but drawn out over 4 episodes and I hurt.

4x21

Before the episode: I came into the framework so optimistic and it crushed me. Like I thought May was an avenger and then it was like hahaha pain.

Oh yeah! And then she teleported with Fitz. JERK!

Fitz really got screwed by the framework didn’t he.

*Coulson kills Robo Ivanov with a shield* WOAHHH!!! That was amazing! ...and disturbing.

*Coulson recounts what happened with Robbie Reyes* BWHAHAHAHAHA. It sounds so ridiculous when you recount it but it’s so amazing watching it.

Will she stop teleporting Fitz! He already feels sick!

Yeaaaah, giving Fitz his abuser back and replacing the woman he loves with yourself is not what would make him happy Aida!

“If he wanted to kill us he could just flood the place. Why is he stalling.” TO FLOOD THE PLACE, PHIL!

“I drank the bottle of Haig” “you piece of—“ *Steve can’t stop laughing*

*Mack almost drowning* Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. OH SHIT.

*Fitz and Aida rescuing mack* THANK GOD.

*Jemma shoots Aida* well, yeah.

*Jemma shoots Fitz* Love ya Fitz, sorry man.

“What do we do with Fitz?” Talk to him!!

“I’m just like Ward.” Oh ho, that hurts.

“There’s only room in my heart for her.” YES! Oh shit, Aida’s not happy.

OH SHIT!

NO DAVIS! DAVIS!

*Toddler starts crying IRL over a toy* Now imagine if we gave her powers.That’s what’s happening with Aida.

*Fitzsimmons pod scene* oww

*Yoyo plugs herself into the framwork* This is a mess.

*Aida throws bottle in anger* His vodka!

*Aida and Ivanov scene* Aaah! Inhuman robot sex. Oh. Nope. Murder.

*Robbie comes back* Welcome back buddy! SHIELD shit has hit the fan.

4x22

“How do we kill Aida?” Hell chains? I’m thinking hell chains.

*Robbie waiting for Shield* Hello, back from another dimension? No way, us too!

Well Radcliffe is screwed if the framework is falling apart.

“I’ll talk to him. He’ll remember me.” No he won’t Elena. Wish he would though.

*Robo!Daisy shoots Talbot* *Steve sits with his mouth open* NO!! I mean, he could be annoying but he was a good man! And he’s been around since season 1!

“There’s a pulse.” How? Yay! But how?

“Once you say you can’t stop me. Well—“ it’s like when you say you feel safe on Survivor and then get voted off the island.

*Daisy & Robbie team up* Boom bitches!! That was super cool!

Mack’s not going to leave until Hope de-materializes. And that sucks ass.

“Robot May was much more supportive.” HA! That’s amazing.

EVERYTHING’S A MESS AND EVERYONE IS HURT AND DIE AND PAIN AND OWW AND THINGS.

Maggie: “What?”

Steve: “You heard me.”

*Aida kills LMD!Jemma* WHAT! What the hell? I feel so sick. Oh thank god she’s an LMD! But I feel ill.

Eeeewwwww the kiss Aida gave Fitz on the cheek is so disturbing.

*Jemma shoots Aida* YES! AWESOME!

*Coulson ghost rider reveal* HOLY SHIT THAT’S AMAZING! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!

*Aida dies* Well that was awesome and terrible and poor everyone.

They really do a great job of making you feel sick don’t they.

*Mack and Hope scene*

Maggie: “you okay?”

Steve: *wipes away tear* no.

Wait, is there more to Coulson’s deal with the Ghost Rider?

“Gave me a glimpse of the life I could have here.” Oooh! Mack and Elena! She did almost die for him. They’re in love.

*Robbie having to leave* He and Daisy couldn’t like kiss before he left? No? Fine.

*Daisy speech to Fitz* someone hug him, please!

*Diner scene* Whaaaat?

We’re in space next season!!?? Whooo!!

They’re all so messed up after all of this. I feel messed up after all of this.

[inkribbon796]

Dr. Strangelove and Ticking Timebombs Ch. 1: Suspicious Contraband

Summary: Tommy goes on his first real hero patrol as a mysterious shipment comes into the Brighton.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

At 23:15 hours the officers arrived on the scene. It was one of the many warehouses along Brighton’s industrial ports. Ships came in and out bringing all kinds of goods.

Somewhere, someone with a conscious raised the alarm. Or at the very least someone who didn’t know how much money was trading hands to keep a particular shipment under wraps.

The instant the ship docked at port the flagged cargo was isolated as soon as it could and pulled to the side for police to investigate it.

Because of the way the contents of the shipments had been written it had led people to assume the type of illicit cargo that the shipment contained was living people.

But when they popped the cargo container it was mostly empty except for a five-foot airtight sealed lead box, and three other crates each about twenty feet in length. In one was a bulk order of smoke detectors, and in another a bulk order of Coleman gas lanterns. The third was full of different magical supples, all categorized and put into smaller boxes.

With no people, apart from the investigation team, the contents of the container were seized while unseen, a young man stood and watched the police proceedings from a distance. He silently followed the group to the lockup site they were taking the heavy, lead box to.

The next morning the heroes went on a patrol with no knowledge of what the police had found.

Ethan had finally started to feel like he was shaking his “junior member” shtick. Which was a relief because he’d been trying to get rid of that for years. But that came with a price because the rest of the heroes through the perfect person to mentor Tommy — who was a loose cannon who ran off at the first sign of adventure — was someone who had been the exact same thing.

When Tommy first entered the base he woke at least five people up from a dead sleep. He had two volumes: loud and deafening. He never accepted the answers “no” or “wait a second”.

So the Septics loved him, in fact he fit right in with them. Jackie called him their “vulgar firecracker”. But after Robbie’s death and revival, they were extremely hesitant to take on another apprentice, even one they really liked like Tommy. That’s why Tommy’s mentorship was given to Ethan.

Ghostbur was a different matter. Marvin was the definition of a helicopter parent around him. He might have never apologized for reviving Robbie, but he certainly learned his lesson. He didn’t want Ghostbur anywhere near any of the big villains. Which Ghostbur was alright with. The young man could go through walls and was more than capable of getting himself out of a dangerous situation.

The only problem was that Tommy was still a minor and they had yet to contact his father. Tommy refused to help them on that front and Ghostbur couldn’t remember a number. But said his name was “Phil” and that he was apparently very nice.

But Ethan decided that since Tommy was already running up the walls he could stand to be out on a patrol or two, to learn the city as Tommy was mostly unfamiliar with most of it. So because they were dealing with an apprentice who also happened to also be a minor, there was more than a bit of a cautious group around Tommy. Silver, Logan, and Marvin had accompanied Ethan and Tommy. With Ghostbut just accompanying them because Tommy and Marvin were in the group.

“Come on,” Ethan called out to Tommy, who had firmly decided that his superhero name would be “Big Man” and he would accept no other comments or suggestions on it. “Gotta[1] head back to Brighton.”

“But we went there first,” Tommy was already halfway down the street and looked like he was about to size up busy Egoton traffic like he could take the cars in a fist fight.

“Yeah normally we wrap around to check the first area of the patrol. Unless something else is going on or we get called somewhere else,” Ethan had a little spring in his steps as he walked down the street. Thankfully, Tommy rejoined the group and rushed toward the head of the group before shooting ahead.

Ethan sighed and Mark chuckled behind him, “Having fun, Crank?”

“Shut up, man,” Ethan rolled his eyes and shoved Silver away, which only resulted in Mark floating harmlessly. Ghostbur quickly trying to catch up with his brother.

“Tell me if you’re in over your head and he’s acting like a maniac,” Silver even had a smug way he was flying. “I’ll just show you a mirror and tell you all about the times I had to deal with your bullshit.”

“Hold!” Logan called out, he was still in his old outfit as he was extremely hesitant to put on a nanite suit again. “Would someone go and get Big Man and Ghostbur, they’re probably two blocks down by this point.”

Silver was the one to fly out and corral Tommy back and at the possibility of getting off of patrol duty, Tommy came racing back.

“Did something happen?” Tommy almost knocked Ethan over. “Is it a bank robbery, or a murder?”

“Due to speed and efficiency, usually Jackie and the other Septics handle those sorts of engagements. All homicide cases are conducted by the proper police authority.” Logan was on some type of PAD, receiving and answering information without even looking at Tommy. Ghostbur came to float over Logan’s shoulder. “As for homicide cases, unless magic is somehow involved, we don’t usually handle any part of those cases.”

“You know, yer[2] a real downer,” Tommy told Logan. “Don’t break that stick that you’ve shoved up your arse[3].”

With all the information he could collect, Logan closed down his PAD and finally looked over at the young apprentice. “If you’re intending to entice me to anger, you’ll have to do a lot better than schoolyard taunts and minor vulgarity.”

“Oh, you fucking asshat, I can do way fuckin’[4] better than that,” Tommy promised with a huge smile.

Logan rolled his eyes and before Tommy could start his torrent of screaming random curse words at Logan, the logical Side began talking. “It’s fortunate that we’re already heading towards Brighton. There is a situation over by the docks where Abe and his investigation team found something last night and need my assistance. The rest of you should form a perimeter around the area, Abe made it sound important.”

“Why can’t we go in with you?” Tommy demanded.

“I said nothing about entering the scene itself,” Logan countered. “I will be there to consult, then we will leave. There will be little excitement on the matter.”

Tommy kept step with Logan and began poking his arm.

Logan stopped, “What are you doing?”

“Tryin’[5] ta[6] figure out where you keep the lazers,” Tommy paused for a second. “Are you a robot?”

The logical Side yanked his arm away from Tommy. “I’m wearing a different suit. This is a nanoweave micro lycra that’s been fortified with Kevlar. The suit you happen to be talking about is my nanite-infused version of this suit.”

“The hell’s a microwaved lycan?” Tommy asked. “Is that like some type ‘a[7] mutant hot dog?”

“No, it’s a type of spandex that can stretch and flex in four directions instead of two,” Logan explained, his stride quickening. “In any event, I only have access to my TASER, EMP bursts, and my other nanite-free weapons.”

“What happened ta[6] yer[8] other suit?” Tommy asked.

After a bit of a silence, Logan answered, “The nanites and I were too compatible and they were causing problems for others and myself. So I can no longer wear it or come into physical contact with nanites.”

“That fuckin’[4] sucks, wasn’t that yer[8] whole thin’[9]?” Tommy asked.

“My “thing” for lack of a better term, is the pursuit and acquisition of knowledge,” Logan corrected. “It is my purpose, my reason for existence. However if that pursuit puts myself or others in danger, it is an unacceptable dereliction of duty on my part.”

“Heh, dooty,” Tommy snickered, getting a long-suffering grumble out of Logan. “Do you e’en know what half ‘a the words yer usin’ e’en mean?”[10]

“Of course I do,” Logan scoffed. “Why on Earth would I use a word if I didn’t know what it meant?”

“I mean, lots ‘a[7] people do that,” Tommy explained as the group kept heading back towards Brighton.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. Got to

2. you’re

3. ass

4. fucking

5. Trying

6. to

7. of

8. your

9. thing

10. Do you even know what half of the words you’re using even mean?

[mittensmorgul]

Hi Mittens, I’m the anon who asked about Christo. I’m sorry to cause any confusion. One example is how they treated Abbadon. Dean specifically outlines how they are going to make sure she’s dead by dismemberment and burying the pieces in concrete. They even repeat that scene in the episode previouslies where Abbadon comes back. So why didn’t they dispose of her like they proclaimed? Then they both leave the room to take the phone call and she escapes. 1 of 2.

2/2 It reminded me of them leaving the Styne brother alone in the dungeon and he escaped. Shouldn’t they know to lock the bad guys down more securely? Your anon who mentioned President Rooney reminded me of that strange situation with the golden egg. Why were they hanging around in the hotel room just to get caught by the feds? Shouldn’t they have freed him and ran? I feel they should be shown to be smarter. So is the writing face value for their characters or is the writing inconsistent?

Hi there! and thank you for writing back! It’s not a problem at all! I love answering questions if I can, and you’re lucky I have some answers to this one that you will hopefully find satisfying. :)

(note that I would put this under a cut, but tumblr has been breaking them lately, so I’m not gonna risk that... apologies for the very long post)

Let’s start with Abaddon, since that one is incredibly easy. They 100% did do exactly what they said they were gonna do to her. They very much did hack her up and bury her under concrete in/after 8.12. They thought they could use her as the demon for the cure in 8.22, though. They’d been trying to capture a demon, but Crowley had ordered all his demons to stay away from them.  Here, from the transcript of 8.22

DEAN: Could we take this hoodoo on a test drive?

SAM: Um, I mean, I have the exorcism right here. All we need is the blood, consecrated ground, and a demon. So, what? We summon a demon, trap it –

DEAN: Or – or we use one that we've already tagged. Do we still have dad's old army field surgeon's kit?

SAM: It's in the trunk. Why?

DEAN: Yeah, I think it's time we put humpty dumpty back together again.

*

They dug her up and stitched her back together (sans hands), and were intending to use her to perform the Third Trial. Hence the stitches holding her head on:

Agreed they were kinda dense leaving her alone, even without her hands attached, when their phone rang... Crowley was calling to blackmail them and it gave Abaddon time to escape. Which is why they ended up capturing and using Crowley for the Third Trial. 

Then in 8.23, when she shows up to tell Crowley that she’ll be taking over Hell now, Sam douses her with holy oil and lights her up. We don’t know definitively what happened to her or her remains after that point because A LOT happened at the end of 8.23, and “making sure abaddon was really dead-dead” was not at the top of Dean’s priority list, you know? Which is the state from which she was resurrected in 9.02...

But in between, she absolutely did spend half a season chopped up under concrete. This is not “bad writing” or incoherent continuity.

They didn’t really have a way to definitively “kill” her, you know? the best they could do was to trap her and bury her, but their own desperation to get the doors of hell slammed shut (which, if you know me you know I think is the biggest act of hubris the Winchesters have ever attempted to carry out) they didn’t really stop to think “hey maybe this is the worst idea.”

I also don’t think they knew that Abaddon had the power to command her hands to do her bidding when they were literally in a box on a table across the room from her... I mean, I would’ve been OVERLY cautious about that sort of thing just because, but I’ll forgive them because they were distracted, stressed, and overwhelmed. Sam was experiencing massive Trial Sickness, Dean was worried about him AND Cas, and then if that wasn’t enough, Crowley called to tell them he was methodically gonna kill everyone they ever saved until they gave in to his demands.

They were kinda distracted... ?

Okay, moving on to the next one: Eldon Styne and the Half-Assed Handcuff. Let’s start by remembering a few details about this Dumbass Scene.

1. It was Bucklemming... something in me always wonders if the crew deliberately fucks around with stuff in their episodes, like the ridiculously ill-fitting handcuff. because

2. this was 10.21, aka the most infamous and egregious example of that one square on the bucklemming bingo card: characters being dumb for plot. Or something like that. I don’t remember the exact wording, but basically having characters at entirely stupid because they need them to do A Plot Thing and can’t think of a better way to accomplish that.

3. this was 10.21, in which the cast, crew, and a good number of the other writers were essentially working under protest, because pretty much EVERYONE other than Carver, Singer, and Bucklemming objected to Charlie’s death.

4. Knowing point 3, please refer back to point 1.

But also, The Styne Family was possibly the STUPIDEST thing the show has ever done, as a whole. The derailing of s10′s overarching plot because whoopsie they were renewed, and Carver wouldn’t be ending the series at the end of s10 like he’d been planning, and oh no they’d come WAY too close to the end of some of their major character arcs and that couldn’t be allowed if the show was continuing, but... double whoopsie Carver was already in development on a new series that he’d obligated himself to, so mad scramble to pull SOMETHING out of his squid-shaped hat and for whatever reason they settled on freaking cartoonish supervillains the Frankenstein Family who had to be both terrifying up front (to pose a serious enough risk to take seriously at all) and then fold like cheap suits when confronted by one (1) MoC-Fueled Dean.

They were scary in 10.18, thanks to Robbie Thompson. It was that final reveal in that episode that let me know we were headed, though. The Styne Family Crest? Yeah, stolen from Young Frankenstein:

(image from the superwiki)

If you’ve never seen Young Frankenstein, please do. It’s freaking HILARIOUS. But it let me know that these were not the terrifying Big Bads we were expecting, they were a parody. They were set up to be Terrible People the rest of the writers could mock. They we were saddled with the atrocity that was 10.21. And Dabb finished them off in Badass Dean Style in 10.22. And that was it, never to be heard from again.

Disclaimer: I have written a whole heck of a lot about this (and about how this was possibly my least favorite thing the show has ever done). the back half of s10 is a hot mess, the Stynes were the worst villains ever (boring, stupid, easily defeated, etc.), and 10.21 in particular hits all the lows even for bucklemming... so I honestly won’t even attempt to defend this one. This was Bad Writing.

And finally, President Rooney... in 12.08, why did Sam and Dean stick around after Cas and Kelly fled? I’ll start this out by reminding everyone that this... surprise... was bucklemming again. Remember that bingo card I mentioned?

(lol I went and found it, credit for this one goes to @messier51 back in the olden days... https://messier51.tumblr.com/post/68535147632/buckleming-bingo  is the original post, from 2013)

and there it is, lower left corner, “Sam/Dean makes a decision that makes no sense.” This is a pattern for them, where they knew the end of the episode must have Sam and Dean being carted off to Black Ops Prison, and this was the best they could think of to get them there.

I’ve said before that I am willing to handwave a lot about this episode because of everything it will give to us down the line (12.09, Jack, it’s basically building the stage on which the rest of s12 is set). And I’ve previously offered the theory that they were Concerned For The President and making sure that he would live/suffer no repercussions of his possession by Lucifer. But I mean, the secret service dudes were literally on the other side of the door and would’ve been able to tend to him just as well, if not better. I think Sam and Dean may have-- in Bucklemming’s minds-- believed that they would be fine. They were only really worried about Kelly being caught there. They thought they would be viewed as “heroes who helped save the president” and not “dangerous threats attempting to kill the president.”

Agreed, it was a stupid thing to thing, especially since Rooney apparently didn’t remember his possession, and is never heard from again in-show. He couldn’t corroborate Sam and Dean’s story. I mean, they could’ve said they were staying in the room next door (it was an adjoining room, because Cas and Kelly sneaked out that door after the secret service guys stormed into the president’s room), and they could’ve just said they heard a ruckus, someone calling for help, and simply found him like that. But they didn’t know that one secret service agent had already been warned about them specifically by “President Lucifer.” That’s absolutely something they should’ve considered would happen, but uh... they didn’t, because bucklemming.

But yeah, that’s... a thing with these writers in particular... we try to acrobat our way around these sorts of things as best we can, and move on :’D

If you have any other questions, please let me know! Otherwise, please check out my tags for these specific episodes. I think I got them all on this post... 

[calocera]

SPOILERS FOR CATS 2019, here’s my hot takes and opinions

be warned, THIS IS LOOOONG

First off my overall opinion, i LITERALLY cannot say whether it was good or bad, like lots of critics say it just...is beyond that. It’s VERY fun and that’s all I can bring myself to say, I have LOTS of problems with it but I can’t even say that they make the movie bad. It is definitely worth watching

OPINIONS ON CHARACTERS:

Victoria: she’s good! I appreciate that they kinda left her personality blank other than her innocence since that’s pretty much how she always was, still not super thrilled with her as a main character but franchesca did the best she could

Munkustrap: I loved him! he was more of a main character than I would have expected, but they STILL cut all the charm from his lines... why do I love him then? Robbie fairchild did AMAZING background acting, whenever he was in frame he was always doing something SUPER munkustrap-y and making cute dad faces. he was dealt bad lines but he worked around it best he could. Also his legs were normal so...epic fail

Mistoffelees: 😒😒😒😒😒🤢🤢🤮 disappointed but not at all surprised...he was just a Woobie, a softboy uwu nice guy. I felt like I was seeing fanon 2013 loki in cat form. THEY MADE HIS SONG A SADBOY PITY PARTY SONG...WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE 11 O’CLOCK NUMBER SLOW AND SAD???? Where is the smug little shit who’s vague and aloof yet confident and joyous? He was murdered by his evil homophobic shadow clone. I’m not even gunna indulge the fact that him and Victoria were a thing, I’ll go over that later. He also just constantly looked like the crying cat meme his eyes were so red and watery it was horrifying, yet somehow he wasn’t the worst character , that leads us too.....

tugger: what.the.fuck.did.you.do.to.this.boy. HE GOT THE TREATMENT I EXPECTED FOR MUNKUSTRAP! HE WAS DEMOTED TO BACKGROUND CHARACTER! not only did he not sing mr. mistoffelees, he literally did nothing other than his song, he never interacted with ANY characters besides jenny in 1 scene. I know cats has no set main characters but he’s undoubtedly one of the most important characters and he’s like...the least important named character in the movie. ALSO Jason Derulo was not sexy at all. There was NO hip thrusting NO sexy meowing NO glamrock, he was just an asshole and if I hadn’t already seen the original I would have either completely forgotten about his character or though he was the worst character. I’m so fucking angy I cannot express.

Girzzabella: ngl I expected better. Her acting was great but with the horrible effects I couldnt get invested but I’ll touch on the effects later. Her singing was good, but I expected it to carry the movie and it wasn’t at all the best song in the movie, I’d say she’s about as good as I expected she’d be but the movie itself was more enjoyable than I expected so she was less significant

Old d: she was fine, she LOOKED the part definitely, she didn’t have as large a presence as ken page but I wouldnt expect that of her. Her singing wasn’t the greatest though, her voice is fine by it’s just NOT suited to old d’s songs. I would have preferred she play a female gus bc her voice is very sweet and frail, not at all built for belting like her songs required.

Macavity: he’s just...eh. He’s basically a comic relief villain which sucks. He does practically nothing besides kidnap people, say a cheesy line, and act like a caricature of a 90s cartoon villain (and not one of the fun ones) like theres a scene where he poofs away and when he does it he goes, MACAvityyyyyyy and fades away its so unintentionally funny but it just makes him so lame as a villain. not to mention he doesnt even die at the end or get any satisfying conclusion he just gets stuck on top of a statue and his powers suddenly stop working (for some reason??)

Bombalurina: fuck that, I am simultaneously glad she only was in the macavity number bc fuck off Taylor Swift but also disappointed bc she deserved so much better.

Bustopher: 😟 never in my darkest nightmares did I think I’d see bustopher Jones deepthroat multiple crayfish but here we are. Somehow THIS was the most sexual song, I cannot begin to name the fetishes checked off by this performance bc itd hit word limit. Let me just say that I said multiple times out loud, “damn bustopher kinda a freak with it 😏😏” like I CANNOT stress how weirdly sexual it gets. And ofc its all otherwise just haha funney fat guy eat food and burp and fall down. He also breaks the fourth wall a few times which like, fuck you

Jenny: exactly what was shown in the trailer. Unfunny fat jokes and slapstick humor. Also they focused WAY too many shots on her cat pussy and I wish I was making that up. Also of note is that the cgi on the rats and cockroaches are drastically worse than the rest of the movie, like not just bad designs the effects are BAD. also they translated they whole gumbie cat fur-shedding as her wearing fake skin over her outfit which would be fine but UHH the fake fur is skin tight??? so it literally looks like shes ripping off her skin and she does it multiple times its fucking terrifying

Mungojerrie and rumpelteazer: meh, they are fine as characters, not quite as energetic as I would have liked but they didn’t massively fuck anything up? The song was horrible, they went against the beat for...some reason? Like it’s a song with a very distinct rhythm and they split up the lyrics so weirdly. I liked that they followed through with the lore of them working for macavity

Skimbleshanks: YES YESSSSSSSSSS HOLY FUCKING SHIT 💗💕💖💞💜😳😳😳😳😳😳😳💜💛🧡💚💖❤️💗 i absolutely CANNOT express how good skimbleshanks made me feel. He looks like a leather daddy with his chains and suspenders and hat and stache, I hate that I’m saying this but uh...mr skimbleshanks sir😳 we were actually screaming it was so fucking good. Watching this movie was worth it just for skimble. Unironically. I’m listening to the song as we speak. It was kinda weird that they moved the tap dancing to this song but that’s more of a detractor from Jennie’s and a plus side to skimbles since it’s good tap

Gus: good! Ian did a good job of course, no one doubted that he would.

Growltiger and griddlebone: not racist but still absolutely horrifying. One of the worst parts of the movie, I actually got squeamish looking at griddlebone a few times that’s how bad she looks

Everyone else: not that good. I couldn’t tell who was who, all their personalities were annoying, I’m on imdb as we speak trying to figure out who even was supposed to be who. Demeter is completely butchered and jemima just isn’t there, doesn’t sing her part, it all sucked man.

Tech talk:

CGI: okay so here’s the thing, the effects are good. GREAT even, the issue is how fucking horrible the designs are. The lack of cat nose, mouth, and hairy cheeks makes them all look disgusting. Also the feet. Holy fuck why do they have feet. THERES A FUCKING SCENE WHERE TUGGER GRABS VICTORIAS FOOT AND SNIFFS IT. IT LASTS LIKE 5 SECONDS. Old Deuteronomy, Gus, and Cassandra (bc she was already bald) are the only characters I’d say look anywhere close to decent, grizabella looks okay in profile but head on it’s all horrible again. its really such a shame bc the sets are gorgeous! i really hope this movie gets some form of recognition for its sets.

the editing and directing was DOGSHITTTTTTT there are SO many scenes where characters just teleport or parts where people are singing and no ones mouths are moving its really distracting

Other things:

it’s OBVIOUS that the critics calling this movie horny have never seen the original. I’d definitely say the movie is LESS HORNY than the play. It IS however waaaaaaay more uncomfortable with its hornieness, so I’d say in that regard YES, the horny stuff is much more gratuitous and off putting despite there being an overall smaller amount than the play. ie everything bustopher jones does

They changed a BUNCH of lyrics for some reason?? Like they cut verses which I understand but there are like a handful of lyrics in almost every song they just...change. like...okay? All changing lyrics is gunna do is make people who knew the songs frustrated when they can’t sing along

the dancing was incredible! shame the cg just fucking invalidates all of it bc your mind doesnt register it as real people doing real moves

OKAY THE FUCKING CATNIP SCENE so when taylor swift showers everyone in catnip they all just fucking start moaning and go FULL HORNY its TOO MUCH like misto full on does an o face like eyes rolled back mouth open  and munkustrap is like ass up panting i still havent processed it im fucking terrified to encounter it again. they cut the orgy? yet added THIS??? k

WHY did they take 2 of the most iconic characters who FREQUENTLY interact and just

a. Never even have them make eye contact

b. Make 1 a background character

c. Completely change the personality of the other one

On the topic of Victoria/misto: I am just still at a loss as to why they thought it’d be a good idea? They completely removed Plato and for what? This? Pathetic. It’s worth noting the weirdly munkustrap has WAYYY more chemistry with both Victoria AND mistoffelees then they did with each other (there’s a part where it looks like misto and munk are about to kiss for some reason?? munk ALSO gets all touchy feely with skimbleshanks???) anyways munkustrap king moments

tldr; its worth watching, the best parts were the sets, the dancing, skimbleshanks, and munkustrp fucking CARRIES the weight of the world with his face acting. the worst things were a big fat tie between bustopher, tugger,misto,jenny,growltiger and griddlebone, and the godawful design choices