#this went a bit off track

[cluedoenthusiast]

mini voices compilation part 1? [ 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6]

+ this entire interview which i didnt include

[welcometoelliotstable]

Id just like to come out here and make a comment; i shipped caliyork before wttt. Not like legitimately bc they were still just big plots of land to me but my family has always been split between NY and CA. (Half of us are in NY and the other half in cali) and I also always noticed a ton of similarities between the two

one day while on the freeway, I told my mom something along the lines of “I think if the state of California and the state of New York were both sentient beings they’d be in love” and she looked at me like I was a psychopath. not too long later, I discovered wttt. Me and my mom Watch it together now and she finally gets it!! MY MOM SHIPS CALIYORK

anyways I was first I think jsyk

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

"Did I ever tell you about my Omega casino run in with the Blue Suns, Eclipse, and the Blood Pack Vorcha mafia? Five thousand credits and a bottle of whiskey?"

Ft. Staff Cmdr. Kaidan Alenko, Operations Chief Ashley Williams, Zaeed Massani, & Seven. Dominik Shepard. Phoebus. MIRA'S MORE CANON ME1.5 "Are you Phoebus?" AKA: Pt. 1 of some of what happens between ME1 and ME2 with the Vorcha mafia storyline. :) Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

I've been seeing this reels or tiktok videos about people who are so disarming face-wise or vibe-wise which causes random strangers to tell them all their secrets or trauma dump to them, so imagine a reader like that who's an executive of one of the toxic gangs in Tokrev like Kanto Manji/Tenjiku/Bonten. You're so disarming that your allies or even enemies end up telling you about your recent breakup or trauma when you didn't even do anything. You're just there like: 😀😀😀???

However, I can see your fellow executives encouraging it because of the useful information. Koko likes the idea of spending less money on informants, the Haitanis love the tea, and if you're in a gang with more ambitious people like Izana and Kisaki they'll weaponize you 💀.

Lmao oh the poor reader who ends up in that situation. They just want to hang out and have a good time but instead they keep learning everyone's darkest secrets...

The first time you meet Izana is in the orphanage, he's new but is immediately drawn to you. You feel safe to him, different then how the others feel so of course he declares you as his servant right away. You felt a bit offended by that at first but went along with him anyway.

During the day time when the other kids are around, he's strong, a king. But when it's just the two of you he tells you everything. How alone he is, how much he misses his mum and Emma, how scared he is here. You just listen and hug him through it all, telling him it'll be ok.

He introduces Kakucho to you when he arrives, Kakucho who's just been told to forget his parents. That night, after Izana falls asleep, Kakucho breaks his word to Izana. Telling you all about his parents and what happened, about how he agreed to be Izanas servant too and about how he doesn't know what to do anymore. You soothe his fears and tell him that you'll be here for him too, the three of you together.

Over the next few years the three of you grow up together, following Izana. He founds the 8th gen black dragons but keeps the two of you away from it.

You're there for him when he finds out the truth about Shinichiro, you watch as he throws things around, smashing them and yells. Watch as he runs out of energy and ends up crying into your lap and chest. You're not entirely sure what to say in this situation but comfort him the best you can. He ends up falling asleep on you and you sit there, wondering what will happen next.

He threatens you when he wakes up, he does it often. He'll let you see his emotions then threaten you to never tell anyone about it. Though you both know he's bluffing, he couldn't hurt you.

Shinichiro dies and that terrifies you because Izana shuts down. It's the first time he won't talk or let his feelings out. You and Kakucho do your best to care for him but you can see it's not helping, nothing is changing, not until he arrives...

Kisaki is a strange boy. One minute he looks at you with warmth, like you remind him of someone or something else then the next he's glaring at you like he hates you. He refuses to be left alone with you, it's almost like he's afraid of something.

Izana invites you to join tenjiku, he wants you there and says you can be very helpful for him. Of course yoy say yes, you're just happy to see him like his old self again. But...things are different this time. He's back to opening up to you, emotions spilling out before he can stop them but you can tell he's holding something back.

You get to finally meet the others, the S62 members you've heard so much about. Shion immediately takes a shine to you, introducing himself and bragging about his past achievements, asking you if you want to see him fight. Mochi soon shoves him out of the way to introduce himself, he shakes your hand and says he looks forward to working with you. He seems so genuine in his words that you can't help but smile back. The Haitani brother's approach you from either side, slinging their arms around you and "welcoming you".

You think you've got them all figured out until that night and the next day. All four of them end up seeking you out alone and spending some quiet time with you. Telling out their insecurities and ambitions, letting you see more of them. All of them laugh it off after, saying they were just kidding around but you could tell they meant it.

After that you all fall into a comfortable routine of preparing to attack toman. The Haitani brother's want to know the latest gossip, Kakucho tells you about his worries for Izana, Mochi and Shion work with you, helping you get to people who's secrets tenjiku wants and Izana still confides you but without giving you details.

The day you attack toman, you're paired up with Shion. You have a good and bad cop kinda routine, where Shion beats them then you kindly help them back up and take care of their wounds. They spill all kinds of secrets to you while you help them. Everything from the structure of toman, to it's meeting spot, to it's members.

You meet Mucho and Sanzu later, the meeting itself is very formal but once again they seek you out later. Mucho get's onto the subject of Mikey and let's it slip about his guilt of choosing Izana. You're about to try comforting him when he realises what he just says and quickly leaves. Leaving you alone with Sanzu...

"What are you?" You flinch slightly when he speaks, forgetting he was even there. He tilts his head at you, curious as to why Mucho just told you that, why he let his guard down around you. More importantly he wonders if you could be helpful for other people, a way of being able to read what Mikey's thinking and what he wants. He walks away without another word, instead planning.

You meet Koko the next day, he's still hurt from Mucho and no ones even offered him any first aid. You sigh and fix him up yourself, he watches you intensely the whole time before muttering that someone called Inupi normally does this for him. He practically gives you his life story after you ask who that is, even Akane's name slipping out. You're both horrified after, Koko realising what he just said and you after hearing such a sad story. You're not sure what to say next so you tell him about your own childhood. The two of you end up as friends by the end of the day.

You're in your room one day when Kakucho suddenly barges in, frantically talking about a murder and how sorry he is for not telling you sooner. Your blood runs cold as you ask him to explain. "Kisaki and Izana planned what????"

You run to Izana after that, need to talk him, need him to explain. He must be so lost after that so he needs someone to talk to right?

Someone grabs you before you can climb up the stairs to him. Hanma. He has you by the waist, stopping you from interrupting Kisaki and Izana's conversation. Refusing to let you stop Izana from falling further into darkness and ruining Kisaki's plans.

You next see Izana at the docks, getting ready for the fight. He refuses to even look at you, too focused on the fight and Mikey then his own emotions. Instead you stand next to Kakucho, waiting for all this to be over so you can be alone with Izana.

Kakucho tells you to stay on the shipping containers while the fight goes on, you promise to stay and not move.

You nearly break your promise a few times, when you see each of the S62 fall or when Koko starts getting upset but you listen to Kakucho.

It's not until Izana starts losing it and arguing with Kakucho that you hastily climb down, running to him. But you never reach him.

Instead you see Kakucho get shot, you try to run to him, to get in front of him but someone catches your arm. Turning around, you see Sanzu stopping you from getting closer. Time slows down after that, Izana gets shot, the gun falls to the floor, Sanzu let's you go and you fall to your knees beside Izana and Kakucho.

You frantically try to stop the bleeding but Izana grabs your hands instead, holding them. Telling you his emotions for the last time and letting the rest of his secrets slip out. Kakucho reaching out to do the same.

You're not sure how long you kneel there, they both stopped talking already and you know they're both gone, telling yourself that you're imagining the warmth in Kakucho's fingers.

The Haitani brother's help you up but they don't keep you with them, instead guiding you over to Koko and telling the two of you to run.

The next day you wake up at Koko's apartment, where you hear the news. Running to the hospital you practically launch yourself into Kakucho's arms. This time you both tell your secrets, helping each other to cope with the loss of Izana and talking through it together.

When he's released from the hospital, you go to meet him so you can both pay your last respects to Izana. Then you both head to your apartment, looking after each other....at least until a tall man arrives months later looking for both of you.

[robo-dino-puppy]

hfw: burning shores | seyka 10/?

[dimentioshouldntbehere]

but yeah, as for species-wise, did they have a name or anything? and what do you remember most about your life with your kind before the events of the game?

― @pinkpixelpolygon

So, my species is quite complicated, considering I'm not one species, but not exactly a hybrid either.

Originally, I was a member of the Tribe of Darkness, meaning I was an 'ancient' (I can't remember what our species was named). However, I had died, and ended in the Underwhere. (Before the events of the game)

I began transforming into a Shayde, but due to... Complications.. I managed to stop the process.

That's part of the reason why some of my coloring is similar to the Shaydes.

(huh. I'm now noticing Shaydes look different in my canon.)

After the game, Queen Jaydes decided to just give up on transforming me. Which I appreciate, because the transformation process to a Skellobit, which is what I'd turn into, is extremely painful.

And as for what I remember most with my kind... Setting up my first New Year party as the royal Jester. It took a lot of energy and time, but it was worth it. In the Tribe of Darkness, a New Year party is full of lights and decorations, a celebration of another year of magic. By "year" I mean a decade, that's what it was called in the Tribe. What you consider a year was called a "cycle" and it was not celebrated.

New Year parties were very fun, and I miss them a lot.

[ghostieagere]

I usually don't ask...

But i tonight my legs hurted so much at each movement i did and i couldn't calm down...

Can you write about Mountain having problems with his legs but not wanting to ask for help because he's strong enough (he's the one who care about everyone not the one to care about, he can't be weak,no?) to deal alone with that, suffering in his room till Aether founds him?

[i dont know if it's a good idea for writing but... feel free to ignore this 🥺, sorry to bother]

hi, loves <3 i'm sorry to hear both of you have been having a rough time recently :( hopefully this can help you both a tiny bit <3 (and you aren't bothering me at all, anon !!)

cw: mountain struggles to walk, severe leg pain, mountain loves fried rice, brief mention of accidentally skipping a meal, regressed (child, not toddler) mountain, cg aether. mightn't be the easiest read for littles.

~

The hill leading up from the greenhouses to the Abbey is a decent size. Mountain has never really thought of it as big, but he knows the littles get adorably exhausted trying to climb back up it at the end of a long, exciting da with him in the greenhouses. He always delights when their faces light up after he offers them a piggyback. When it's him who's struggling to climb back up the hill with no one to offer their help however, he thinks it's much less adorable.

Each step he takes has his knees screaming at him for putting them under so much pressure, joints wobbling dangerously in their sockets as he moves forward and upward. The path under his feet is slippery with loose stones and gravel, which means that with his weakened legs, every step he takes sends him sliding back another two. It's always an impossible task getting back to the Ministry on a bad pain day, but Mountain doesn't remember ever having quite this much difficulty, even when he regresses.

Speaking of, as he gets more and more frustrated for not being able to make his way up the hill, he feels his mind slipping slowly into a horribly familiar void of fog and annoyance; a mirror of his actions when his legs give out under him and he slides back to the bottom of the hill, all his progress lost. Again.

He tries again and again, and each time ends with him falling flat on his face, knees giving out from underneath him as he cries out in pain over and over again. Once it's clear he's not going to make it if he walks, he tries crawling up, but the path is so rocky that he scrapes his hands and knees barely five metres into his attempt.

He curses himself for not bringing his crutches or his cane down to the greenhouses with him earlier. Not that they would be much good on the sliding, unstable gravel, but maybe if he'd been using them during the day, his legs wouldn't have become this painful. Alas, his imposter syndrome never stops reminding him that he doesn't need mobility aids all the time, therefore he shouldn't be allowed to use them at all. It's a thought process he's trying to break, but he never seems to have much luck with it. One day he'll be able to break it, and he can only hope that day comes soon; he's getting tired of having to spend his nights alone in a freezing greenhouse.

He sighs, tears of annoyance in his eyes as he slowly makes his way back into the main greenhouse. His knees buckle and legs give out under him at least twice, but the earth ghoul is so exhausted from trying to climb back up the hill that he can barely keep track of putting one foot in front of the other, let alone how many times he wobbles on his feet.

Once he's inside the greenhouse, he collapses, sobbing. He hadn't properly registered it while he was walking, but now that he's stopped, he hurts. His knees ache, feeling like they're on fire and pressed up against dry ice all at once, the hot and cold mixing not to create a perfect balance, but a hellscape of pain and sensation. Once the sobs subside, Mountain crawls very slowly over to his makeshift bed on the greenhouse floor and tries to get comfortable; this happens often enough that he's had to create a space that's comfortable enough for him to sleep on several nights a week.

The bed is a humble thing. Straw, spare bags of fertiliser and layers hessian bags make up the mattress, and Mountain has brought down his least favourite pillows and blankets to keep him relatively comfortable throughout the long, painful nights. Usually, this is fine, but the fog clouding his brain hasn't gone away—if anything, it's getting stronger with every movement of his legs that shoots pain right through his whole body—and all he wants is comfort; his favourite blankets, his non-lumpy pillows, maybe even the weight and warmth of that microwavable plushie Sunshine bought for him the other week.

He sighs. Wishing for any of these things won't make them magically appear. He'd better get as comfortable as he can with what he's got here. As soon as he tucks himself into the bed, pulling the scratchy blankets up to his neck, his stomach rumbles. He's hungry; hasn't eaten since breakfast, accidentally continuing his work in the greenhouse well into the afternoon until it was too late to go back up for lunch. It's a choice he's really starting to regret now. Unable to climb the hill and return to the Ministry, Mountain won't be eating tonight. He lets out a decidedly kit-like whine at this realisation; normally he'd be embarrassed but since there's no one around to hear or help him, he can't find it in himself to care.

When another rumble sounds from his stomach, he wraps his arms around his middle and curls in on himself, crying quietly. He's all alone, and no one's going to come help him. Even if they did, how could they help? He's in too much pain, he's crying, and everything is so big and so much that he can barely stand to think about it, let alone handle it.

He's so in his head, vision so blurred by his tears and hearing obscured by the sound of his sobbing, that he doesn't notice Aether until the quintessence ghoul is crouched right in front of him.

"Oh, eden, what am I going to do with you, hmm?"

"Ae– Aether...?" Mountain doesn't want to sound too hopeful. He's partially convinced that the ghoul in front of him is some hallucination provided by his mind to give him some comfort. Either that or the fumes from the fertiliser are starting to get to him.

"I'm here, sprout," Aether assures him, reaching out to gently caress the earth ghoul's cheek. "I'm here."

Mountain breaks down all over again, sobbing so hard that his head begins to hurt. He's so relieved that someone is here. He's not going to be left alone. He's safe now.

"M– My legs are hurting and I– I couldn't get up the hill and then I am crying and– and– and–" He cuts himself off, heaving big breaths in between his sobs and sniffles.

"Hey, shh, love. Slow down, one thought at a time, little eden," Aether reminds him. "Breathe with me, c'mon. Yeah, that's it, love, iiiiiiiiiiin." Aether inhales slowly, and Mountain does his best to mirror the quintessence ghoul's actions. "And now we breath ooouuut..."

Mountain lets go of his breath in a huff, making Aether chuckle.

"You need to breathe out a bit slower than that, eden. As slowly as we did when we breathed in. D'you want to try again?"

Mountain nods, biting his lip as he stares up at Aether.

"Okay, follow my lead again. That's it." Aether leads the two of them through the cycle of in's and out's as many times as it takes for Mountain's tears to slow and for his breathing to even back out. When they're done, Aether smiles at him widely and leans down to press a gentle kiss to Mountain's forehead. "Well done, little eden. I know you're hurting, and you're being so brave."

Aether's praise brings tears to his eyes all over again, and he only just manages to keep them from spilling over. "Th– Thank you, Aethy..."

"You're welcome, love." Aether kisses his forehead again, pulling a quiet laugh out of Mountain. "And, oh!" Aether exclaims suddenly. "I almost forgot! I brought something for you, love."

Mountain cocks his head in question, his eyebrows furrowing as he tries to imagine what Aether could have possibly brought.

The quintessence ghoul reaches behind him and pulls out a tupperware container and a fork. Mountain's eyes widen and he sits up immediately. "You broughted food?"

Aether hums the affirmative and opens the lid to show the little earth ghoul the contents of the container. "Rain and Cirrus made fish, but I know that's not really your favourite, so I swiped some fried rice from the main kitchens."

Mountain barely lets Aether finish his sentence before he's grabbing the container and messily scooping the dinner into his mouth. "Iths good Aef!" He says, grinning around a mouthful of rice.

Aether smiles. "I'm glad. I figured you'd be hungry, you skipped lunch, eden."

Mountain has the good sense to look ashamed as he swallows his rice. "I know... Wan'ed to finish my plant things... 'M sorry, Aethy."

Aether hums and reaches out to stroke Mountain's hair softly. "I know your plants are important, but you're important too, little eden. You gotta take care of yourself as well as your plants, even if it's hard."

"M– Maybe," Mountain considers. "Maybe if I had comed up for lunch, I would not be stuck in here now...?"

"Maybe," Aether says. "But it's best to not think about what might have happened, yeah? Better to think about what's happening now, love."

"Well, I have got my rice and my itchy blankets and my Aether now," Mountain grins. "But I do not have, um... Being warm...?"

"You don't have being warm?" Aether clarifies, clearly amused as he continues carding his fingers through the little earth ghoul's hair.

"I don't have being warm!" Mountain repeats. "I wanna go in the warm, but I can't go up the hill..." He can feel the pout in his voice as he leans into Aether's hand on his head.

"Well..." Aether starts. "How about I carry you up the hill?"

Mountain gapes. "You can do that?"

Aether assures him that he can, pretending to flex his muscles and making Mountain giggle uncontrollably. "I know the hill's very steep, but if we need, I can get someone else to come down and we can carry you up together, okay?"

Mountain nods, already excited by the prospect of not having to spend the night in the cold, damp greenhouse. "Can I eat my rice more when you carry me?"

"If you can hold onto me and eat your rice at the same time, you can absolutely eat the rest of your rice as we walk up," Aether assures him. "But if you can't hold on, you need to promise me that you'll drop the rice, okay? I'd rather have to clean up rice than clean my little eden up from off the ground."

"I can do that!" Mountain says enthusiastically. "Do I drop the fork too?"

Aether nods. "You're all over this, love! A master of fork and rice safety, that's what you are."

Mountain grins and puffs out his chest proudly, holding his arms out ready for Aether to pick him up.

"This might hurt a bit while I get your legs in a comfy position, okay, little eden?"

Mountain nods, wincing as his legs change position when Aether gets his hands under the little earth ghoul's armpits and lifts. He lets out a quiet cry of pain as Aether repositions him in his arms, but once he's settled, the pain disappears. Without the warmth of his blanket covering him however, he starts shivering in the quintessence ghoul's arms.

"You ready to go, love?"

Mountain nods, burrowing further into Aether's arms for warmth while simultaneously still trying to eat his fried rice.

Aether laughs affectionately at his antics. "You comfy now?"

"Uh huh. 'S good."

"Great! Alright, my little eden. Let's go get you warmed up."

[vain-creature]

is it like… an inherent narcissistic trait that a person w NPD must be constantly manipulating and on edge and that every part of their life must be entrenched with the disorder?

I was thinking i might have it but unless in direct danger of vulnerability or being seen a certain way I just… chill? I’m not always on the lookout and manipulating and everything I do or don’t do isn’t always related or consciously related to it. Again, I’m just questioning so I might not be the best example of this, but I believe there are people with NPD who live “normal” lives, just with a disorder? People with diagnosed NPD who have friends and partners and family they’re not bent on manipulating for attention? That they like spending times with for the sake of it? And I’m sure there are people with NPD who have a job that has nothing to do with their disorders, or is even in direct conflict with it (for example something that draws little attention but that they like doing)? Because people with NPD still have a conscience and likes and dislikes.

Even discarding my own possibly non-NPD experience, it’s still weird the way people who have it are framed. And it is very characteristic of this personality disorder, and not any other (maybe aspd? i’m not sure).

For example, I was just reading an article on NPD, and the (clearly biased) writer said: a covert narcissist will pretend to be shy for attention. And I was like: or maybe they are shy? why can’t they just genuinely be shy? NPD is a disorder that affects people, not a strict way to be that controls every part of the person. People with NPD are still people and they still have personality, and they can be shy. Maybe the vulnerable narcissist is actually shy and quiet? Instead of presenting as such for attention.

I swear this view of the disorder is so stupid, I can’t believe it is the shared consensus.

Yeah, I think believing that every pw/npd is inherently a manipulator is extremely biased. Just because someone has NPD it doesn't mean they are a master manipulator, and depending on what it is comorbid with it can look really differently (eg. autism, like with me)(and don't get me started about how hard it can be to even notice that what you are doing/thinking/feeling is not really normal, especially with comorbidities!)

The disorder is inherently a part of how I view the world, sure, but it doesn't cause me distress 100% of the time, every second, every day. In my opinion the diagnostic criteria are pretty ambiguous (I am one of the "takes everything literally unless hinted otherwise" people so I went "well I am not doing x ALL the time so I don't fit the criteria")

I, personally, resort to manipulative actions when I am feeling like my ego is in danger, and in most cases it is, as I call it, a knee-jerk reaction, instinctual, automatic, subconscious. A lot of epithets, I know, but I want to convey the thing clearly sksksk. Even when I do it consciously, it is not malicious - my main goal is, always, first and foremost, preserving my ego, preserving my image. I don't deny that I may have hurt others through my actions, but I don't want it to happen. I don't like hurting others because it also endangers my ego, after all. Being a good person is very important to me, and both external and internal validation are really important for my mental well-being. If I went left and right hurting others it would be really damn hard to get that external validation!

So, when nothing like that is happening, I am well-adjusted, I would say, at least in the npd range. Do I still think of other people inferior and myself superior? Yeah. But I also have people my mind considers equal to me, people I genuinely enjoy spending time with. (Also like. just because I think someone is inferior it doesn't mean I treat them badly?????? Idk where that notion came from in anti-npd folk, but like in my eyes me treating people I find inferior nicely is actually proof how good of a person I am so like???)

Because of knowing I have NPD I have started noticing when I am manipulative, and, just like you said, I have at least the semblance of conscience, so I really try to restrict that. Not always works out, but at least I am trying. Not every pw/NPD is evil and malicious, after all.

Also, like, most people need some form of attention to be healthy, fishing for it has no negative value.

There seems to be this specific bias appearing when people write or generally perceive pw/NPD -> every little action, every trait, every word, is, actually, a well-orchestrated plan to manipulate or otherwise fool others. Well, that's straight up wrong. There's so much diversity in the world, it's not that improbable that someone with NPD could be shy, for example. We are not cartoon villains rubbing our hands together at every possibility to lie and deceive!

If the perception of NPD was not.... what it currently is :/// I would have known way earlier! At least for me it was a random coincidence that I learned stuff about NPD that was not the evil black-eyed demon from pop-psychology. I was extremely unaware of all the ways it manifested in me and now I can actually realize that my feelings and thoughts are actually often skewed.

There is always one article I like consulting about things NPD, NPD Basics from McLean Hospital, which outlines that current diagnostic criteria are... well. Really biased towards the grandiose side of NPD

The NPD diagnosis in DSM has been criticized for being one-sided and relying primarily on external socially and interpersonally striking and provocative features. As such, it has failed to capture the full range of narcissistic personality pathology, especially the internal vulnerability and insecurity characterized by severe self criticism, insecurity, confusion, shame, aloneness, and fear. Instead, the diagnosis has primarily emphasized external characteristics related to boasted grandiosity, and obviously adverse interpersonal functioning. Important aspects of the patient’s internal distress and painful experiences of self-esteem fluctuations, identity diffusion and emotional dysregulation have not been included.

Contrary to the external confidence, arrogance, and insensitivity, people with pathological narcissism and NPD tend to struggle with a shifting and conflicting sense of self and identity. Underneath a more noticeable self-praising or self-enhancing outward facade they can be excessively self-critical and judgmental.

Both clinical and empirical studies have confirmed that emotional distress, interpersonal vulnerability, a sense of inadequacy, need for control, avoidance, and fear, pain, and anxiety are important facets of narcissistic personality functioning. Co-occurrence and fluctuations between self-enhancing grandiosity and self-depreciating vulnerability are also present in narcissistic pathology. Typical indications of narcissistic vulnerability include inferiority and insecurity, avoidance, shyness, hidden aggressive reactions, shame, and persistent self-negativity. Paradoxically, hidden excessive self-negativity can also serve empowering, protective, and controlling functions. Additional characteristics frequently found in patients with NPD are perfectionism and high standards accompanied by self- and other-directed criticism, as well as by preoccupation with fear of not meeting standards and of failing. In addition, chronic envy, rage, boredom, and emptiness can co-occur with hyper-vigilance and defensive emotional reactivity, especially aggressivity, criticism, and dismissiveness.

^ Three interesting fragments. Notice the connection between traits associated with grandiosity with underlying issues associated more with covert npd -> at least in my experience they are two sides of the same coin! That's why I don't necessarily identify with one or the other, because depending on the situation, social norms and people I am with, I may come off as both a grandiose and covert narcissist! The line is not as rigid as it may seem, I would even say it can often be nonexistent.

mclean.org/npd-provider-guide

^ a link for those interested! It's a really good read and I recommend it to anyone questioning if they may have NPD

:)

[pommunist]

No but like thats so sad. People sometimes seriously dont understand what an art translating is. Your often never word for word translating the literal meaning of a sentence because most words DONT translate like that. Often you get like one word that has no English equivalent or even vis versa where a string of words could maybe just be summed up with less words in English and so you need to pick what words to translate, how and how to keep the same meaning, feeling and conveyance. And like THATS HARD GUYS that takes time and effort and love and mental energy and deep deep knowledge and fluency of both languages and cutlers! Translation is a very very niche and hard job that deserves proper compensation and respect. Without it QSMP would, quite literally, not function. Youd think they would have given their translators more respect considering the success of the QSMP was and is on their shoulders.

YES 👆👆👆👆

Not only you need to speak two languages close to perfectly which is a big thing in itself, but you also need to know enough about the subject to be able to properly convey context, tone, and intent.

It’s funny (it’s not), how with each testimony the first reaction is to think "I can’t believe they treated these people like this when the job they were doing was so important for the success of the project". I’m not saying the QSMP wouldnt have been successful if it was just a normal server, but it’s close to impossible for me to imagine it be as good as it was without all the work put by the different admins team. It’s crazy they were doing so much for it and received so little, be it compensation or even just respect, in return.

I’m glad if steps are taken so that the QSMP can keep going, even if I don’t plan on watching anymore, because at the end of the day it’s still has done a great job uniting people from different communities and languages, so it would be a pity to lose that. So yeah, not wishing for it to crash and burn, and I hope it can go on while giving proper work conditions to everyone still working for it in the future.

But I have to wonder what about everyone left behind ? Whether they got let go or had to leave by their own volition as the circumstances were too harsh, you can’t build better foundations for your project’s future on these people’s past mistreatment 😵‍💫

So yeah to improvements, but recognition, compensation and justice to those who went through that mess first

[lookinghalfacorpse]

Okay, the butterfly chat hc fr c!dream is awesome and I ablsolutely adore it, but what if c!dream was a butterfly hybrid? And the butterfly chat were his children?

or alternativly, what if c!dream was a spider hybrid and his chat were spiders? That one could be angsty on the idea that arachnophobia is like, what, one of the most common phobias in the world and would be an already easy way to paint him as some sort of monster.

What do you think?

ty i'm glad you like it :) cdream is very bug-coded, and there were actually a few bugs i was thinking about before i wrote the first 'killing butterflies' drabble. grasshoppers, mantises, and spiders were close contenders.

ultimately, my decision to go with butterflies was intertwined with my pretty boy ideas and my overall interpretation of cdream. i'm intrigued by the idea of dream being an undisputed, classic kind of beauty-- a beauty where everyone who sees him will think 'that's a pretty boy' (and, for his chat, 'that's a pretty bug') and have to grapple with what that means for them as characters. i also think that butterflies have a very haunting quality to them, especially when swarmed, that they don't get enough credit for.

i also just enjoy subverting tropes. i like when antagonists are associated with traditionally "delicate" things, like dolls or angels, as it leads to some interesting visuals. i think butterflies convey that a lot better than some other bugs, like grasshoppers or dragonflies.

i think spiders have some potential. i think many people see them as beautiful while others see them as terrifying. i like the idea of the prison being coated in spiderwebs, especially when we see it overgrown during the finale.

i'm not sure exactly what you mean by chat being a person's children, but i generally don't see chat that way. i think the relationship between chat and their person is a bit more complicated than that. i'm planning on putting more of my interpretation of chat in 'blood upon the snow' probably, though it might be vague.

i also see dream (and most other characters) as fully human (minus technoblade, that dude is 100% piglin), but i think it would be fun if he had a small set of butterfly wings. something wispy and useless. kinda fairie-like. it would definitely subvert tropes, like i said. i'm kinda fond of cquackity designs that have small, useless wings that he's embarrassed about or hides, and it'd be fun if they had that in common. cdream would definitely hide them, and they'd be uncovered in the prison. cquackity would have to grapple with the fact that this man he compares himself to (and, in a way, sees as more powerful than himself) shares a trait that he hates in himself. he'd tear them to shreds for sure.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

.

[brittlebutch]

Desperately trying to make sense of Alex's motivations in Season Two and you know, I do eventually have to wonder if maybe Alex wasn't actually lying in the majority of those tapes.

Like, we tend to assume that Alex's motivations have been a consistent throughline since the college years, but do we actually know that that's the case? Do we know for sure that Alex was acting in deliberate, calculated ways in 2006; or could it be that he's telling the Truth on those olds tapes when he says he's blacking out and can't remember what's happening to anyone? After all, if we're assuming that Season 2 Alex's motivations are the exact same as his motives in Season 3, then it doesn't make any sense at all that he spend months working with Jay to try to find Amy; Season 3 Alex would have attempted to kill Jay like, on sight just to get things over with as quickly as possible and contain the spread of contamination as best as he could.

But, maybe, if Alex really had been separated from Amy after the events of the 04-04-10 tape, and if he really doesn't know where she is, then maybe that could make things start to make more sense. Maybe he really had been watching Jay's channel, and seeing Jay start going through the same things he went through in college without things devolving into violence and disappearances, and wondered if things maybe could play out differently this time. Maybe he really did send that tape to Jay to ask him for help, maybe he really was just trying to find Amy.

But then, instead of actually being helpful, Jay makes it extremely clear that he's a lot more interested in stalking Alex than he is in finding Amy. Alex asked for help, and instead there's a bunch of masked dudes on Jay's heels that keep attacking him, Jay is breaking into his house, stealing his things, leading the Operator right to him all over again, keeps trying to get other people (namely: Jessica -- if Alex is being honest when he says that his call reassuring her that Amy had been found was an effort to make Sure she stayed away from everything that was happening) involved; and instead of anything getting better, instead of anyone finding Amy, things are just getting worse all over again.

It's not until after the incident at the tunnel that things seem to start rapidly devolving. Rather than a calculated attempt to finally follow through with his need to curb the spread of contamination, this is very clearly an outburst of rage and terror. Alex's "I told you not to follow me" line in conjunction with Jay speculating that Alex didn't know who that guy was, to me, pretty firmly seems to speak to Alex having mistaken that stranger for Jay. From his point of view, Alex knows that Jay and totheark know where he live, have broken in before, he suspects that Jay stole a key to make it easier to get into his house, and he's been followed on the daily for months -- Alex is sitting at the tunnel because he doesn't know where else he can go without being constantly surveilled, hunted, and assaulted. And instead of getting a moment by himself to breathe, Jay followed him out there all over again (it feels like Alex looks directly at the camera in Jay's footage of him from this day; he knew for a fact that Jay was there), and then to make matters worse now 'Jay' won't even keep his distance anymore.

So Alex lashes out. And it's not until afterwards that he looks down and finally recognizes that this wasn't Jay -- it was someone completely innocent. Things have finally reached the low point he was at in college all over again; maybe even worse this time. If Alex doesn't remember attacking anyone in college, but he was at least partially conscious of it this time, then things have reached an entirely new rock bottom, they've reached an absolute point of no return.

He has no idea what happened to Amy, and he's spent months trying to find her with no hint of where she could be; he doesn't know where Jay actually is or what additional trouble he could be causing at this point; he does know that now innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire (in regards to the stranger in the tunnel, and also Jessica now that Jay has her phone number, and the untold number of people Jay got involved when he started posting videos to the Marble Hornets channel); things are spiraling out of control and there's no one left to ask for help. The situation isn't getting better, it's getting worse; things aren't getting easier to handle, they're just getting more out of hand; the negative impact is spreading and who knows how much further it can still go?

So, Alex decides to go scorched earth. He disfigures the body with the rock either to hide evidence or to make sure the guy would actually stay dead and not just get back up to start his own cycle of contamination in a few years. He tries to give Jay one last chance to back off, and Jay instead admits he's been talking to Jessica, acts obstinate and lies about not having Alex's spare key, and then breaks into Alex's house a second time (minimum). If Alex doesn't stop him now, who will? Alex met with Jay planning to kill the others, and then himself, so he could put a stop to this once and for all and keep things from getting any worse than they already were.

Maybe it makes a lot more sense if, rather than being a strangely incomprehensible detour on what should have been a straight path, the events of Season Two were the breaking point that put Alex on that path to begin with.

[skitskatdacat63]

2005 Bahrain Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso(my personal post-race highlights)

+ bonus Kimi(bcs I was very happy to see him)

[too-many-paper-cranes]

oh hey the video is public now so i can post on tumblr about this without sounding insane! anyway everyone should go watch me and a few other speedrunners hunt fire for sport (randomizer edition)

[countlessofvoids]

Rewatching RTTE currently (for like the fourth time now lmao) and I have some critical thoughts about it;

There was no need to bring Viggo back after season 4. Don't twist my words, I enjoyed his character and writing, mostly. But I don't see any point in bringing him back outside villain rivalry and more scenes with Hiccup. You already introduced Krogan as the new antagonist, why bring back previous one when you have a brand new one that needs developing? Viggo gets a whole angst arc with Hiccup meanwhile the most Krogan gets is working for Drago, and we don't learn that until the last season! Otherwise he's just your typical "I love torturing people" villain, whom I personaly don't find any interest in (sorry Krogan fans).

Then Johann is revealed as another antagonist, and he's got it even worse. Honestly season 6 in itself has issues. Immediately after Johann's revealed to succesfully trick Hiccup along with entirety of Berk without anyone even once suspecting him - he suddenly becomes an idiot who throws temper tantrums when something is not going his way and can't keep his treachery secret in front of Hiccup. I wonder what his motivation is? Oh he wants to be the richest man in the world. The most depth he gets is hating to pretend being some incompetent, annoying merchant. What was even the point then? You can't even give him a good motivation. Fans say it was a genius twist they didn't see coming but makes perfect sense. To me it feels like a last minute decision and the reason I couldn't see it coming was because none of his scenes indicate any betrayal, except of course the reveal episode. His scenes would work pretty much same as if there was no twist. It's more of a coincidence that writers took a notice of and went with it. In regards to his interactions with Viggo - it's a bummer that Johann should be at similiar level of intelligence, yet loses most of it the moment they meet. A rivalry between two extremely smart villains with the same enemy but different end goal would be fun to see playout.

In the end; Krogan and Johann are left with crumbs of development and nuance, meanwhile Viggo goes through character arc and leaves with a redemption. This isn't a bad thing on it's own; Triple Cross is a great episode and one of my favorites, although I think it should have been a two-parter like Alvin's redemption episode. A villain getting a development like this is amazing. My problem is with the fact it comes at the expense of other characters' writing.

[arctic-hands]

I learned what a bullet journal was by watching a few YouTube artists set theirs up and my algorithm spiraled out of control from there so I guess I have all the bujo influencers to thank for getting into it because it has been a godsend so far on my third attempt, but damn if the over emphasis on aesthetic over the actual practical organizational aspect of it doesn't rankle me a bit

[thirty rambling tags later] huh. I didn't know there was a thirty tag limit in all the years I've been on tumblr. Whatevs I can't copy paste the tags onto the main body because I'm on mobile and I don't want to write it out again so I'll just summarize the last bit here:

If you are browsing the bujo tag because you feel bullet journaling will help you but you feel intimated because you don't think you can make it look pretty, or that the bullet journal method could never help you because it looks exhausting or the inspo you see doesn't cover what you need, I am pleading with you to ignore all the pretty inspiration, take the most common and even original Ryder Carroll formats and spreads with a grain of salt and eliminate or change them as needed, and talk to people who have similar needs than you even if they don't bujo and suss out what's important to keep track of. My bujo is eighty percent important medical bullshit, because that's what I need more than a book tracker. You prolly have your own unique needs. And hell, if you want a book tracker then add a booktracker. It's your bujo to format and plan out.

So like if you want to start bullet journaling, go to Michaels and get a seven dollar Artist's Loft dot grid journal. Or a binder you have left over from school years past and print out your own dot grid paper if you have enough ink and paper and printer that can do double sided (Kevin McLeod's site I forget the name of has free adjustable dot and other grids I've used), or buy a pack of 8.5x11 dot grid paper, and grab a crappy hole punch that just barely does the job. Get yourself a nice pen you think looks and feels nice in your hand and on the paper–or if that doesn't matter to you go get pack of Bics or even pencil if that's what you prefer (I use a pencil for things I can't have be permanent, like temporary meds or the dates of yearly vaccines). If you're twitchy about messing up then get the cheapest wite out they have (but don't worry about messing up especially if you're not even showing it off to anybody). A cheap yellow highlighter if you think it'll help. And a ruler if straight lines are important to you. I lost mine so I just wobble my lines now I don't care (and it's marginally easier to get a line adjacent to straight with a dot grid)

Anyway. If you want to bullet journal but don't know where to start or how to make it pretty or how to make it work for your needs, just try it in the cheapest way possible and rearrange the guts of the bujo as you see fit. And don't worry about the optics as long as you can make sense of your methods and writing.

(and for the love of God if you're bipolar don't make an hourly mood tracker yes our moods can and will fluctuate throughout the day but goddamn was that a bitch to log and abandoned a few weeks after inking it out)