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lemonhemlock · 2 years ago

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What r ur thoughts on daemon x rhaenyra relationship

Daemyra nation, rise up! For how much I shit on these two, you wouldn't realise I actually like them. I am not immune to Tik Tok edits with Unholy in the background. The chemistry between the actors draws you in, that's a given.

[I am not going to get into a heavy-handed disclaimer about this not being a healthy relationship, because that's just been dissected to death by now.]

I have to admit that Ryan Condal's declaration that Daemon was maybe in love with Viserys and wanted to be intricately connected to him explains so much about his character. But, at the same, it's so jarring to see how the majority of the audience insisted on perceiving him; the lady asking the question is a perfect example, she felt "betrayed" by the scene of Daemon choking Rhaenyra because she really wanted Daemon to have a heroic arc. But that's just not who he is a character and that's reflected both in his fucked-up relationship with Rhaenyra and in the way the audience insists on ascribing them a dynamic of wholesome domestic fluff that just isn't there.

I really find it very interesting how many genderbending questions this show indirectly poses about the characters. Would Rhaenyra have been much happier had she been born a boy and could have, therefore, married Alicent herself? Would Daemon have been happier born a girl and married to Viserys? It makes a lot of sense for someone so intent on cannibalizing Viserys to move on to the closest person with whom he could possibly recreate that, i.e. Viserys' own daughter.

In many ways, Rhaenyra truly is the wife Daemon always wanted - a perfect Targaryen princess with Targaryen parents & Valyrian looks, who could give him unmistakably Targaryen sons, place him in close proximity to the throne & forever connect him to Viserys. And, in many ways, Daemon is the husband Rhaenyra always wanted - a provocative, intoxicating bad boy that is such an arsehole to anyone BUT HER. He's a teenage fantasy. *cue Katy Perry's Teenage Dream playing in the background* I have no doubt that they're sexually attracted to each other. That they even get along fine on a day-by-day basis.

But I would like to challenge Daemyra citizens on the following points. Overall, I think Rhaenyra is a much better partner to Daemon than he is to her, because Daemon invariably seems to bail out on her whenever things get tough:

He abandons her in the brothel. I mean, kudos for deciding not to take her maidenhead after all, I suppose, but how in the world is she supposed to get back to the Red Keep? Does she even know the way? She could get both discovered and/or assaulted. Does Daemon think this a thrilling possibility somehow - of something happening to Rhaenyra, but him not being directly responsible? Or does he only think of himself in that moment and of his need to get away?

He abandons her at the wedding brawl. She was just challenging him to abscond with her to Dragonstone and marry her. Wouldn't a commotion like this be the perfect opportunity to slip away? Why ditch her immediately and not even try to protect her at least? Isn't she the reason he came back from his exile in the first place?

He abandons her during the eye-gouging trial. Rhaenyra could have been in big trouble here and Daemon doesn't lift a finger to help her in any way. Even though he is one of the few people who could have actually had some input, considering his girls were also hurt. He could have diffused the situation or even backed her up a little - anything. I would have been terribly pissed with him if he simply materialized by my side after I'd have been cut with a knife & he just stood there smirking by the door. Even Matt Smith added that Daemon would have been happy just to see them all implode. The only explanation I can think of is that it's in Daemon's interest as well for the Strong boys to be called bastards, since he gets closer in the line of succession if they're disinherited.

He abandons her during her difficult labour and miscarriage. I understand he may have been triggered and I'm even willing to consider the deleted scenes with him mourning on the beach as proof that he was genuinely saddened by all this, but come on. Rhaenyra is crying out for him and he ignores her. He can hear her through the castle walls; it's cruel. At some point, you've got to man up and go to your screaming (and possibly dying) wife. Even Jace & Luke go and see her & they're teenagers! Even Viserys has the decency to stay in the birthing room with Aemma.*

The choking scene has been debated to death already.

There is, nevertheless, more to this. I'm not going to deny that he respects Rhaenyra, as much as he can respect anyone anyway. He gives her back the egg. He begrudgingly follows her lead on the bridge when they're facing Otto in the final episode. He moves to stop Ser Criston when he rushes to aid knifed-up Alicent. He crowns her. He cuts Vaemond's head in half - but is this just because he insulted Rhaenyra or was he just itching for violence and saw an opportunity?

I do feel like Rhaenyra has some terrible blind spots in relation to Daemon. The appeal of their relationship is that it's exciting and enticing and taboo, but, ultimately, it will break down because both of them have this idealized image of the other that neither lives up to. Rhaenyra thinks of herself as the perpetual exception for Daemon and, while I don't believe Daemon would ever truly give her up, he does seem the most comfortable recreating a dynamic in which he is the senior, worldly partner that can impress a young, guileless girl and be somewhat of a mentor to her (young!Rhaenyra, Nettles, even Mysaria was in an inferior social role). I don't think he knows how to handle a relationship of equals. He seems to struggle a lot with the idea of Rhaenyra topping the hierarchy.

*So many parallels with Viserys, actually. He stays with Aemma, holds her hand and even tries to comfort her, but decides to kill her for the baby anyway. Whereas Daemon doesn't go to Laena, but refuses to allow the surgeons to perform a cesarean on her. I feel like he would refuse it for Rhaenyra as well, but, then again, he prefers to keep away and not offer her any support.

I also wonder if Viserys doesn't mirror Daemon in his choice of bride, too. Daemon wants Rhaenyra as a way to always keep close to Viserys, but what if Viserys chose Alicent because she was Otto's daughter, as well? As a way of keeping close to his dear friend whom he cherished and respected. Isn't Viserys' fondness for his Hand another reason why Daemon has a bone to pick with Otto?

#daemyra nation rise up #anti rhaenyra targaryen #anti daemon targaryen #anti daemyra #ask #anon #daemon can't seem to grow past grooming as a way to get close & establish a connection with a romantic partner

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damianbugs · 2 years ago

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batfam taking care of dick grayson fics !! time travel fics !! heart wrenching batfam fics that actually analyse the characters and give a good character study and don't simply accept fanon crap (coffee addict tim drake im looking at u) !! ur top 5 all time fave batfam fic !! and also, i love ur stuff so much on ao3 thank u for sharing your work w us <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH !!! this is so sweet i am so happy you enjoy my work <3 i will do you one better and offer a list combining all your requests to the best of my capabilities !! you've caught me at a great time, because i am currently obsessed with batfam timetravel.

i will admit i definitely have more than five favourites (my 500+ carefully curated and organised private bookmarks should be proof enough) so i hope you like the ones i have selected here :D ! (these are in no particular order!)

MY TOP 5 FAVOURITE BATFAM FICS (on ao3) !

Tap by CKBookish

Bruce returns home from the time stream, haunted by phantoms and dreams. Dreams of a past that can't be real.

But all of that wouldn't be so bad if his home didn't feel so empty in the absence of one of his children. Jason, refuses to talk to him or even answer his calls and Bruce can't figure out why or what he did wrong, not after they had mended their fences before his disappearance.

Meanwhile,

Catherine struggles to hold it together for her and Jason as life falls apart around them. When all she has to give is love she does her best to give it all.

MY NOTES: one of my all time favourite not-exactly-time-travel time travel fics! features some wonderful character building and complicated relationships, and the plot itself is just incredibly. the way everyone is written is definitely realistic to how i would imagine them personally (especially dick).

A Good Place by LemonadeGarden

Damian Wayne is kidnapped and sent back years through time. Together, he and Father – who's only been Batman for a mere six months –must figure out how to return him to his own time.

Over the course of the next week, Damian discovers that Mexican gangsters do not mess around, that social workers find Bruce annoying, that Bruce might be a little messed up, and that crystal chandeliers create the fondest memories.

Oh. And Alfred has hair.

MY NOTES: not only is this one of my top favourite time travel fics, it is also one of my favourite bruce and damian fics. it is so witty and fun, but also hurts immensely. fics where the kids are forced to endure young bruce's ridiculousness is always a treat, and here it is infinitely more amusing because it's damian finding his father entirely silly.

Modus Tollens by fanfictiongreenirises

Dick is cursed to kill anyone he touches.

MY NOTES: this one is fantastic. really gut wrenching throughout and you really feel for dick when it gets tough, but the sweet ending makes up for all the pain. dick loves his family and his family loves him immensely.

I Used to Be an Adventurer Like You, Then I Took an Arrow to the Knee by audreycritter

Stephanie was just on patrol and now she’s stuck somewhere, sometime, with Bruce.

They bleed and bond and mostly try to keep each other alive— you know, just a Tuesday.

MY NOTES: don't mind me casually recommending just the best bruce and stephanie fic to ever be written. it is unhealthy how many times i have read this one. and it is time travel! this is my dream come true. it also features one of my most favourite studies on bruce and stephanie and what they represent to each other.

Keep Your Head, Your Backbone and Your Heart by MrMich

The last thing that Duke expected on what was supposed to be just a regular patrol was being suddenly thrown five years into the past, coming face to face with a darker, more violent Batman than the one he knew, a broken family, and a Tim who was a foot shorter than Duke, and not even Robin yet.

MY NOTES: there was a moment in time where i briefly made this fic my entire personality with how much i spoke about it. dare i say one of the best duke thomas centric fics and ITS TIME TRAVEL! it is so great. i have noticed that you rarely see tim as robin in time travel fics, and he is so lovely in this, especially his dynamic with duke. as always, young bruce is ridiculous, but how duke navigates through it all is so important to me.

OKAY i will stop here as i frantically try to shove the remaining 495 fics back into my metaphorical ao3 closet. i hope u like these anon! <3 also if you haven't already, check out all these authors other works too! they are all fantastic !!

#batfam #fic rec #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #stephanie brown #tim drake #duke thomas #fic reccomendations #time travel #canon divergence #can you tell im crazy insane about these fics yet #saki batfam fic recs

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lostinthought44 · 1 year ago

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1990

If I was given the opportunity to time travel

To find out exactly how my future turns out

To discover the truth of what was before I knew it

I would send 18 year old me back to 1990

I would venture the streets of Toronto

I would walk up and down the blocks I’ve heard countless stories about, meet the people who faces I would otherwise never be able to place as time slowly rid them of their youth

I would eat at the small shops and stores long since closed, torn down and abandoned

And I would meet you

14 years sooner than the universe had intended for me to

And I would love u just as much then as I do now

The way u laugh, and smile, the way u say my name and the way we know each other inside and out

I would tell u all about my life, all about it, every single detail, every emotion, every thought

And u would tell me urs, ur secrets, ur dreams, ur hopes, ur wishes

We would be the best of friends inseparable for one summer

The summer of 1990

We would help each other pick out outfits, we would style each others hair, get out nails done together

I would tell u of my love for u how deep it runs how it is woven into the very fibers of my being how there is no universe that exists that my love for u doesn’t also exist

U would laugh and call me dramatic and we would get an ice cream

And on the last day of summer, the night before we ventured off to university

I’d ask u if u ever wanted to have kids in the future

U would tell me yes proudly

And I would remind u that there is more to life than motherhood

Than a voluntary servitude

That u can exist outside of the realm of motherhood

That u can be more than what u think u have to be

And just like that I would be home standing outside of my front door hoping u listen to what I’m telling u

That u make decisions for urself

Hoping that u remember me

Remember everything that I told u

The way I’ll remember every last detail about u

We would hug one last time, I’d squeeze u as tight as my arms could

Wrap the moment up in my heart as tightly as possible

And I’d watch u walk down the dimly lit street heading back to ur childhood home

The one id only ever seen in photographs before this summer

And I’d walk into my house and into my bedroom and before I went to sleep that night

For the last time in 1990 I would remember all the people I had met all the places I had been that were such important parts of ur story I would remember u and I would finally rest my eyes

What came next would be up to u as u travelled through the next 14 years

I didn’t leave a note or a card or a phone number

When u came the next morning to say goodbye before u left for school my family was gone, I was gone, my house once lit with warm light, where we shared countless laughs, and stories, where we did each others hair and nails was vacant

Abandoned

And the longer u stand there the harder it is for u to remember why u were there in the first place

If I never made it back, if I never woke in the morning I wouldn’t be upset

No just the opposite actually

I would be so thrilled that u went and made something of ur life

Something beyond what u were supposed to

Something big and grand or little and small

Something that u wanted something that u made only for u

I was built to find u and I did for one fleeting summer and although that was not much time it was enough

If I did wake in the morning

I’d be back and no time would have passed and I’m 18 again in the summer of 2023 and there u are 32 years older than the last time I saw u but ur still the same

Time may have warped the way I recognize u but I still do it’s my job it’s written into my very dna

We understand each other much more now we see each other clearer with more love than before

And every once in a while in a very quiet moment after a long laugh or a nail appointment after a long dinner u look at me with a fondness in ur eyes and say, “ u remind me of a friend I had many years ago, I was around ur age.”

And without missing a beat without hesitation with an unwavering voice u will finish with “ but that’s probably because I’m ur mom and I see a piece of u in everything”

Ken 🫧

No permission is given to republish, repost, copy, or steal my work without proper consent likes and reblogs welcome

#monday #late night #poem #poets on tumblr #post #text post #original poetry #poetry #poems and quotes #words words words #mommy issues #90s aesthetic #90s #sadbeautifultragic #sad poetry #oldest daughter #barbie #barbie movie

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mlbpotter · 3 years ago

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Sole Crusher and why I hated it.

Ahh, one of the most prodigious episode for Zoe-fans.

You see, we see Zoe in a car touring Paris as she came from New York. She entered a bakery to get something for her family (A.K.A Audrey) Marinette entered, and slipped on the floor, but Zoe being who she is, clever perfectionist, nimble, quick blah blah blah, whatever the directors want to show us, caught Marinette in a blink of an eye.

In irl, I think if somebody did slip, in front of me, I’d be too shocked to react in seconds. I’d be gaping, mouth open, too shocked to catch anyone.

Ahh, well, Marinette then talked to her a little, learnt how she only had one friend, made some of us feel pity for her (eh, Thomas). So, NOW THE NEXT PART REALLY GETS ME! Marinette didn’t know who this unknown Zoe girl was (could be a thief, murderer, kidnapper idk) yet she gave away her phone number, free pastries, and invited her to HER FRIEND’S CONCERT! OMG you dumass, you don’t just give away these things to unknown people!

Well, still, moving on, zoe went back to the car, and to the bourgeois hotel. She gave away the pastries to the driver saying her family preferred sour from sweet, meaning they were not exactly caring. Just showing what a bad mother Audrey is, Zoe, like Chloe tried to act all snobbish and mean to get her mother’s attention.

To keep it short, Zoe met Chloe and they had a very meaningful conversation. But the thing that bugged me the most was that what Chloe said. 'Your father exists only to do whatever you want, whenever you want.'

Huh? Forgot this, in origins pt.2? This shows that chloe actually loves her father.

Also, Chloe was shown locking Sabrina in a locker, and forcing her to do her homework.

......

So how do u explain this?☝️

Chloe cares about Sabrina. Thomas really ruined Chloe's character her smh, in sole crusher.

Anyways, Chloe took Zoe to the school in a limousine, with Sabrina running behind them!

BrUh, thomas? R u serious? This is a kids show, no? You are supposed to show how to be considerate, not treating ur friend as slaves!

After some more uneccessary chloe-being-cruel moment, Chloe introduces everyone to Zoe.

She says, that Zoe needs a guy to pamper, who is preferably rich....wow, Thomas you already destroyed Adrien's friendship with Chloe, what more do u want?

When Zoe pretended to hate Marinette's macaroons, Sabrina started idiolizing her immediately. SABRINA ALSO NEEDS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!!

Obviously, Chloe 'tried' to teach Zoe some mean habits, and Marinette was confused about the way she acted so differently at school.

Being Marinette, she texted Zoe about the the confusion, and obviously blamed Chloe. When Chloe found out that her sister was texting her arch-enemy Marinette, she became furious.

Zoe lied and said that she was planning to humiliate Marinette. One of the worst things about Zoe is that she tries to change her nature just to meet up the needs for others. Chloe only does that to impress her mother.

Zoe went up the blacony, and was met by Andre, Chloe's father, who tried to console her, by telling her his own dream. Ok, listen up, how come Andre is only nice to his step-daughter, in a fatherly way??? And treats Chloe like a spoilt queen?? What kind of a father u r, even though u know that's wrong? Ugh

Anyways, the part where Andre wanted to be a film director was pretty cool. Again, we get some background history about the character. And yes, he listened to Audrey, about being rich, not a film director, blah blah blah, showing again how bad of a wife Audrey is.

Then, we discovered that Zoe wanted to be an actress for no good reason, and yest, admittedly she is pretty good a hiding her emotions and 'acting'.

This is how Andre tried to cheer up Zoe, but obviously made the situation worse, as she only thought about the way Chloe, treated her, and not her mother. So yeah, She only has a grudge against Chloe, again showing how horrible and cruel Chloe could be, right?

Just because Chloe said, 'You either step on other people, or I step on you!' This is so out-of-character for, Chloe. She would never say that, I reckon this much.

And there we go, Zoe reluctantly wears the diamond shoes, and becomes akumatized by shadow moth.

So, her power was touching other people with her shoes, and she became bigger.

Sole crusher, found Chloe in her room taking selfies of herself, to shoe how vain she was and how much she admired herself. Ummm..when did Chloe have an obsession with taking her photos? Except maybe in the episode where Marc was akumatized.

Chloe caught a glimpse of Sole Crusher, on her mobile's photo.

She said, 'How come you are using my image without my authorization?' Old Chloe loved to be idolized, so out-of-character.

So, when Chole discovered that it was Zoe, she began running like she was in a marathon, which was again out of character, as she wouldn't run, it'd be too much of work for her.

I think the running was just to show how bad of a character Chloe was, as she pushed Marinette's parents and Marinette herself towards Zoe, to show how cruel, evil and selfish she really is.

Another thing, I think that the kwamis shouldn't be allowed outside the box very long, as someone might catch them, like Chloe almost did.

So, the reason Sole crusher didn't step on Marinette, was because Marinette is the main character of the show, and she just can't be in a dangerous situation (Thomas logic). It'd made a great plot if Marinette was crushed by sole crusher. It would keep the viewers on their toes.

Eh, well, To make look Chloe worse, they made her run further, and order Zoe to literally step on the 'losers'. AKA rest of Marinette's classmates. (Do students really meet each other like this irl?)

So Marinette discovered that Zoe was Sole crusher, and gave some advice.

Marinette: That's not true, you don't need to crush on anyone. The 'winner' and 'loser' thing doesn't exist. It's just people, each one with your differences and unique features. (after Chat Noir interrupted) Zoe, no one will judge you here. You can be yourself! You can trip, you can fall, there's always going to be someone to help you stand up. I will always support you!

Shadow moth manipulated Zoe again, So Chat Noir tripped sole crusher giving Marinette the chance to run away and transform in a place that no one can see (totally). Since Tikki followed Marinette, and Kaalki alerted Adrien about the akuma, they both were able to transform.

Since I am no good at writing battle scenes, I'll tell the main points. Ladybug used her lucky charm, and got a shoe horn. So basically, Chat Noir and ladybug both destroyed the heels of Zoe's shoes, but the akuma didn't come out. Chloe insulted sole crusher, and got crushed.

Chloe : Look at how you're treating ur very expensive shoes! Go back to wearing you hideous and plain sneakers.

So ladybug figured out that the Akuma must be in those sneakers Chloe mentioned.

So the team tried to find out those sneakers in Chloe's house. Ladybug saw Sabrina in the closet, yet asked her about the sneakers, and ignored her. Wow, shoe some empathy ladybug, or even Chat Noir!

They saw Andre, and he told them where the Akuma went. So basically Andre showed them the box, and was so scared of Audrey, that her had hid those directories a secret from her. Since that box was not opening, ladybug used her shoehorn to open that box thingy. Long story short, ladybug repaired everything, and gave Zoe the lucky charm, and left.

Skip to the noon, where Zoe went to the concert she was invited in, and Chloe still believed Zoe's lame story about humiliating Marinette, and was super pissed off when Zoe ate the macaroons.

So yeah, Zoe apologized about her akumatizatidon, and told her 'tragic' backstory. She didn't want to disappoint her family's expectation, so she pretended to be mean.

In her boarding school, she was being bullied, and pretended to be someone she was not.

And since er...the miraculous fandom characters are so 'different' and tried to be nice to her, which was pretty cool of them....

Chloe demanded that Zoe leave for New York, but Andre was pretty cool about it, and made a lame yet nice excuse for her, to be enrolled in anther boarding school. So she had a different room. Obviously, the creators showed how err..awesome Zoe is as she said to Andre, 'Promise me that you are not going to give up on your dreams for too long.' But Andre's dream was very irrelevant, as nothing of that sort was mentioned after that.

Zoe's new found friends helped her become a better person, and there were some ending pics of her.

Zoe's message to Marinette was pretty cheesy ngl. But if only Zoe was introduced as a character who didn't out smart her sister, I would honestly love her so much!

(If my dumb shit post doesn't get famous, I will quit. I literally worked so hard for this post, and also had to rewrite it multiple times)

#mlb #zoe lee #chloe bourgeois #sole crusher

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whencartoonsruletheworld · 4 years ago

Link

Disney but just the Queer Mood™ Songs, a full Spotify Playlist

Open to updates should anyone notice a song I missed!

Tracklist with specific lyrics that fuck us all up under the cut:

KEY: A general list of which songs resonate with people. The 🏳️‍🌈is for general songs; if you relate to a song but don’t see ur emoji beneath it, send me a message and I’ll add it!

🏳️‍🌈 General Queer Anthem 🌈 Gays specifically have related to this song ❤️ Gay Men specifically have related to this song 🧡 Lesbians specifically have related to this song 💕 Bisexuals/Pansexuals specifically have related to this song 💜 Asexuals/Ace-spectrum people specifically have related to this song 💚 Aromatics/Aro-spectrum people specifically have related to this song 🤍 Trans people have specifically related to this song 🖤 Nonbinary/Genderqueer people have specifically related to this song 💗 Polyamorous people have specifically related to this song

Know Who You Are - Moana

🏳️‍🌈

They have stolen the heart from inside you But this does not define you This is not who you are You know who you are...

I Wonder - Sleeping Beauty

🌈🧡

I wonder, I wonder, I wonder why each little bird has a someone To sing to, sweet things to, A gay little love melody I wonder, I wonder, I wonder if my heart keeps singing, Will my song go winging To someone, who'll find me And bring back a love song to me...

Mother Knows Best - Tangled

🏳️‍🌈 honestly this is just... a general song for some of our shitty relationships to guardian figures...

It's a scary world out there Mother knows best One way or another Something will go wrong, I swear

Me, I'm just your mother, what do I know? I only bathed and changed and nursed you Go ahead and leave me, I deserve it Let me die alone here, be my guest When it's too late You'll see, just wait Mother knows best

Don't forget it You'll regret it...

Dangerous to Dream - Frozen Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈

I can't be what you expect of me But I'm trying every day with all I do and do not say Here on the edge of the abyss Knowing everything in my whole life has lead to this And so I pull inside myself, close the walls, put up my guard I've practiced every single day for this So why is it so hard?

I can't dwell on what we've lost And our secrecy and silence comes at such a cost

I wish I could tell the truth Show you who's behind the door I wish you knew what all this pantomime And pageantry was for

It's dangerous to wish I could make choices of my own Dangerous to even have that thought I'm dangerous just standing here for everyone to see If I let go of rules who knows how dangerous I'd be?

Reflection - Mulan

🏳️‍🌈🤍🖤- literally everyone requested this. everyone. so im just copy-pasting the entire lyrics sorry not sorry

Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride Or a perfect daughter Can it be I'm not meant to play this part? Now I see that if I were truly to be myself I would break my family's heart

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though I’ve tried When will my reflection show who I am inside?

How I pray that a time will come I can free myself From their expectations On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself And to make my family proud They want a docile lamb No one knows who I am Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? Must I pretend that I'm Someone else for all time? When will my reflection show Who I am inside? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?

Everything I Ever Thought I Knew - Tangled: The Series

🏳️‍🌈 when u realize u might not be straight lol

I thought no one could love me And how could I have known? I was wrong, oh so wrong

Everything I ever thought I knew Where I've been, where I'm going Everything I counted on turned out to be untrue Could've guessed, should've known, now I do

If none of it was really me then who am I supposed to be?

I guess I'm someone else now I wonder who I am

God Help the Outcasts - Hunchback of Notre Dame

🏳️‍🌈...yeah. yeah

Yes, I know I'm just an outcast I shouldn't speak to You Still, I see Your face and wonder Were You once an outcast, too?

God help the outcasts, hungry from birth Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth God help my people, they look to You, still God help the outcasts or nobody will

I ask for nothing, I can get by But I know so many less lucky than I Please help my people, the poor and downtrod I thought we all were the children of God

Belle (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast

🌈 when a cishet thinks ur interested smh

Madame Gaston! Can't you just see it? Madame Gaston! His little wife No, sir! Not me! I guarantee it I want much more than this provincial life!

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere I want it more than I can tell And for once it might be grand To have someone understand I want so much more than they've got planned...

Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid

🌈 SO many people requested this one guys it’s not even funny

Wandering free, wish I could be Part of that world

Betcha on land, they understand Bet they don't reprimand their daughters Bright young women, sick of swimming Ready to stand

When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, Love to explore that shore up above?

One Jump Ahead (Reprise) - Aladdin

🏳️‍🌈

Riff-raff, street rat I don't buy that If only they'd look closer

Would they see a poor boy? No, siree They'd find out There's so much more to me...

Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈❤️🤍

That I've been one rotten kid Some son, some pride and some joy But I'll get over these lousin' up Messin' up, screwin' up times...

Water flows under the bridge Let it pass, let it go There's no good reason that you should believe me Not yet, I know, but

Someday and soon I'll make you proud of your boy Though I can't make myself taller Or smarter or handsome or wise I'll do my best, what else can I do? Since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you...

Someone’s Waiting for You - The Rescuers

🏳️‍🌈

Be brave, little one Make a wish for each sad little tear Hold your head up though no one is near Someone's waiting for you

Always keep a little prayer in your pocket And you're sure to see the light Soon there'll be joy and happiness And your little world will be bright

Have faith, little one Til your hopes and your wishes come true

Stick to the Status Quo - High School Musical

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 YOU ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHY THIS IS HERE

No, no, no, stick to the stuff you know It is better by far to keep things as they are Don't mess with the flow, no no Stick to the status quo

Into the Unknown - Frozen 2

🏳️‍🌈

I can hear you, but I won't Some look for trouble while others don't There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day And ignore your whispers which I wish would go away

I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you

Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be? Every day's a little harder as I feel my power grow Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go

Where are you going? Don't leave me alone How do I follow you Into the unknown?

Go the Distance - Hercules

🏳️‍🌈

I have often dreamed of a far off place Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me

And a voice keeps saying This is where I'm meant to be

I am on my way, I can go the distance I don't care how far, somehow I'll be strong I know every mile will be worth my while I would go most anywhere to find where I belong

Tomorrow - Annie

🏳️‍🌈 - betcha didnt know disney had an annie movie did u

The sun will come out tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow There'll be sun

When I'm stuck in a day that's gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say, oh, The sun’ll come out tomorrow So you gotta hang on til tomorrow, come what may...

Learn Me Right - Brave

🏳️‍🌈💜💚

Though I may speak some tongue of old Or even spit out some holy word I have no strength with which to speak When you sit me down and see I’m weak

We will run and scream you will dance with me We'll fulfill our dreams, and we'll be free We will be who we are, and they’ll heal our scars Sadness will be far away...

Strange Sight - Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast

🏳️‍🌈

You stand in the light You're wrong, but you're right And my heart's beating wildly Strange how I'm scared but delighted Afraid, but excited too

I will understand you Strange how I'm drawn to the danger I reach out my hand to you

If you're caught in the shadows and turned all around Lost in the darkness, you will be found If you hear my voice, follow the sound Cause I'm here to guide you home...

I Don’t Dance - High School Musical 2

🌈 ❤️ 💕 okay so if you weren’t here for the high school musical tumblr revival you may be confused but listen... it’s about being mlm...

Step up to the plate, start swinging

I wanna play ball Now that’s all, this is what I do It ain’t no dance that you can show me

I’ve got what it takes playin’ my game So you best skin that pitch you gonna throw me, yeah I’ll show you how I swing

I can prove it to you ‘til you know it’s true Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too You’re talking a lot, show me what you got Stop, swing!

Kiss the Girl - cover of The Little Mermaid

this version is sung by a girl so 🧡💕

There you see her, sitting there across the way She don't got a lot to say but there's something about her And you don't know why, but you're dying to try You wanna kiss the girl

Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do It's possible she want you too There is one way to ask her...

Can You Feel the Love Tonight - The Lion King

🏳️‍🌈

An enchanted moment And it sees me through It's enough for this restless warrior Just to be with you

There's a time for everyone if they only learn That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors When the heart of this star-crossed voyager Beats in time with yours

And can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer That we got this far And can you feel the love tonight? How it's laid to rest It's enough to make kings and vagabonds Believe the very best

Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast

🏳️‍🌈- a lot of queer people tend to empathize with “beastly” characters so we all latched the fuck onto this movie huh

Just a little change, small to say the least Both a little scared, neither one prepared

Ever just the same, ever a surprise Ever as before, ever just as sure As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time, tune as old as song Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change Learning you were wrong...

Healing Incantation - Tangled

🏳️‍🌈🤍🖤

Heal what has been hurt Change the fates' design Save what has been lost Bring back what once was mine

So Close - Enchanted

🏳️‍🌈🌈

A life goes by, romantic dreams will stop So I bid mine goodbye and never knew So close was waiting waiting here with you And now, forever, I know All that I wanted to hold you so close

Oh, how could I face the faceless days If I should lose you now?

So close to reaching that famous happy end Almost believing this one's not pretend Let’s go on dreaming though we know we are So close, so close, and still So far...

If Only - Descendants

🏳️‍🌈🌈

A million thoughts in my head Should I let my heart keep listening? Cause up 'til now, I've walked the line Nothing lost but something missing I can't decide what's wrong, what's right Which way should I go?

Every step, every word With every hour I'm feeling in To something new, something brave To someone I've never been

Will you still be with me When the magic's all run out?

If only I knew what my heart was telling me Don't know what I'm feeling Is this just a dream? If only I could read the signs in front of me I could find the way to who I'm meant to be

Wherever You Are - Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin

🏳️‍🌈- out of context could be interpreted as romantic, esp since the credits version is a duet (🌈 💕) but the original context is friendship so honestly it’s very 💜💚

I'm out here in the dark, all alone and wide awake Come and find me I'm empty and I'm cold, and my heart's about to break Come and find me

I need you to come here and find me Cause without you, I'm totally lost I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far I can only dream of you

But when the morning comes and the sun begins to rise, I will lose you Because it’s just a dream, when I open up my eyes, I will lose you

I used to believe in forever, But forever is too good to be true I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far

I don't know what else to do Except to try to dream of you And wonder, if you're dreaming too Wherever you are

I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) - Hercules

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 💕

If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that

Who d'you think you're kiddin'? He's the earth and heaven to ya Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through ya Girl, you can't conceal it We know how you feel And who you're thinking of

I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!" Unless you're dying to cry your heart out

You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling

This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love

At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love

Endless Night - The Lion King Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈🤍 🖤

Where has the starlight gone? Dark is the day How can I find my way home? Home is an empty dream, lost to the night Father, I feel so alone

When will the dawning break, oh, endless night Sleepless I dream of the day

I know that the night must end And that the sun will rise I know that the clouds must clear And that the sun will shine

Set Yourself Free - Tangled: The Series

🏳️‍🌈🤍

There's much more inside of you than anyone can see And now the choice is yours Life waits beyond the doors So step on through, the time has come And only you can set yourself free!

No one else can tell you what to do Or who to be! No one gets to say if you will stay or go

Look inside your heart and find the key... And set yourself free!

Bound up by your worries Trapped by your mistakes Forced to play a role you never chose Why not test your limits? You've got what it takes Let it out and follow where it goes

No more letting someone else define you to a "T" You know that you are strong You've known it all along So seize the day, let down your hair You’ll find a way to set yourself free!

So look to the horizon Open up your wings! Fly away to find your destiny... And set yourself free!

Speechless - Aladdin 2019 Remake

🏳️‍🌈 ALL OF US ALL OF US

Here comes a wave meant to wash me away A tide that is taking me under

Cause I'll breathe when they try to suffocate me! Don't you underestimate me! Cause I know that I won't go speechless!

Written in stone, every rule, every word Centuries old and unbending "Stay in your place, better seen and not heard," Well, now that story is ending

Try to lock me in this cage! I won't just lay me down and die! I will take these broken wings And watch me burn across the sky!

I’m Still Here (Jim’s Theme) - Treasure Planet

🏳️‍🌈❤️🤍

I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms

You don't know me And I'll never be what you want me to be

And what do you think you'd understand I'm a boy - No, I'm a man You can't take me and throw me away And how can you learn what's never shown Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me, cause I’m not here

And I want to tell you who I am Can you help me be a man They can't break me As long as I know who I am

They can't tell me who to be 'Cause I'm not what they see Yeah, the world is still sleepin' While I keep on dreaming for me And their words are just whispers and lies That I'll never believe!

Crossing the Line - cover of Tangled: the Series

🏳️‍🌈 🧡 tfw when u are DONE with that fuckin closet

This has to stop now This thing where you think that you've been my friend And don't even hear how you condescend The way you've always done

How I've tried to jump that great divide! But I've never got the chances you were given You don't know how much I've been denied Well, I'm not being patient anymore

I'm crossing the line! And I'm done holding back So look out, clear the track, it's my turn! I'm taking what's mine Every drop, every smidge If I'm burning a bridge, let it burn! But I'm crossing the line...

Let it Go - Frozen

🏳️‍🌈 listen. i do not have to explain this one. you all know exactly why it’s here. we were all tiny gays in 2013 losing our shit in the theater for no discernable reason why. we know

Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried

Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well, now they know!

Let it go! Let it go! Turn away and slam the door! I don't care what they're going to say!

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!

No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!

I'm never going back, the past is in the past!

Let it go! Let it go! And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go! Let it go! That perfect girl is gone!

This is Me - Camp Rock

🏳️‍🌈 🧡 💕 🤍

I've always been the kind of girl that hid my face So afraid to tell the world what I've got to say But I have this dream right inside of me I'm gonna let it show it's time To let you know It's to let you know

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark? To dream about a life where you're the shining star

This is real, this is me I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now Gonna let the light shine on me Now I've found who I am there's no way to hold it in No more hiding who I wanna be...

Breaking Free - High School Musical

🏳️‍🌈 🖤

You know the world can see us In a way that's different than who we are Creating space between us 'Till we're separate hearts But your faith it gives me strength Strength to believe

Soarin, flyin There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach If we’re trying, yeah we’re breaking free We’re running, climbin To get to the place, to be all that we can be Now’s the time, so we’re breaking free

True To Your Heart - Mulan

🏳️‍🌈 🌈

Baby, I knew at once that you were meant for me Deep in my soul, I know that I'm your destiny Though you're unsure Why fight the tide Don't think so much Let your heart decide

True to your heart You must be true to your heart That's when the heavens'll part And, baby, shower you with my love Open your eyes Your heart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your heart I know it's gonna lead you straight to me

Someone ya know is on your side can set you free I can do that for you if you believe in me Why second guess what feels so right Just trust your heart And you'll see the light

Never Knew I Needed - The Princess and the Frog

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 💕

For the way you changed my plans For being the perfect distraction For the way you took the idea that I have Of everything that I wanted to have And made me see there was something missing...

My accidental happily ever after The way you smile and how you comfort me with your laughter I must admit you were not a part of my book But now if you open it up and take a look You're the beginning and the end of every chapter

You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea You'd be the best thing I never knew I needed So now it's so clear I need you here always

Colors of the Wind - Pocahontas

🏳️‍🌈 - colors.... rainbows.... yea

How can there be so much that you don't know? You don't know...

You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew

How high will the sycamore grow If you cut it down, then you'll never know And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon For whether we are white or copper skinned We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains We need to paint with all the colors of the wind...

I See the Light - Tangled

🏳️‍🌈 🌈 - you would not BELIEVE how many of y’all requested this one

Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight Now I'm here, suddenly I see Standing here, it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be

Now she's here shining in the starlight Now she's here, suddenly I know If she's here it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go

And at last I see the light And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted

All at once, everything looks different Now that I see you

Strangers Like Me - Tarzan

🏳️‍🌈 🤍 🖤- that moment when u find another queer person and ur like “holy shit”

I can see there's so much to learn It's all so close and yet so far I see myself as people see me Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there

Come with me now to see my world Where there's beauty beyond your dreams Can you feel the things I feel Right now, with you Take my hand There's a world I need to know...

Why Should I Worry? - Oliver & Company

🏳️‍🌈- we’re queer, we’re here, get used to it

Why should I worry? Why should I care? I may not have a dime But I got street savoir-faire Why should I worry? Why should I care? It's just be-bopulation And I got street savoir-faire

Why should I worry? Why should I care? And even when I crossed that line I got street savoir-faire

Welcome - Brother Bear

🏳️‍🌈 pride parade amirite

Everyone's invited This is how we live We are here for each other, happy to give All we have we share And all of us we care

There's a bond between us nobody can explain It's a celebration of life We see our friends again I'll be there for you I know you'll be there for me, too So come on!

This has to be the most beautiful The most peaceful place I've ever been to It's nothing like I've never seen before When I think how far I've come I can't believe it And yet I see it In them I see family I see the way we used to be...

The Great Divide - Tinkerbell and the Secret of the Wings

🏳️‍🌈

I'm on your side Let's take this ride And together we're facing the world Doing things nobody's done before And the great divide doesn’t seem so wide anymore

With You by My Side - Tangled: the Series

💗 - tangled the series was so close to being canon polyam istg

Now; now more than ever We must stick together united

If we're destined to head in our own different ways Let's make the most of these sweet final days Why not go out in a glorious blaze

There's nothing I couldn't do Not with you by my side What in the world would I do Without you by my side...

Love Will Find a Way - The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride

🏳️‍🌈 🌈

In a perfect world One we've never known We would never need to face the world alone They can have the world We'll create our own I may not be brave or strong or smart But somewhere in my secret heart

And if only they could feel it too The happiness I feel with you

Like dark turning into day Somehow we'll come through Now that I've found you Love will find a way I know love will find a way

Space Between - Descendants 2

🧡 never have i ever seen gays flock to a song faster

And you can find me in the space between Where two worlds come to meet I'll never be out of reach Cause you're a part of me so you can find me in the space between You'll never be alone No matter where you go We can meet in the space between

Even if we're worlds apart You're still in my heart It will always be you and me, yeah

If I Never Knew You - Pocahontas

🏳️‍🌈🌈

And if I never held you I would never have a clue How at last I'd find in you The missing part of me...

In this world so full of fear Full of rage and lies I can see the truth so clear In your eyes So dry your eyes

If I never knew you I'd be safe but half as real Never knowing I could feel A love so strong and true

I thought our love would be so beautiful Somehow we'd make the whole world bright I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night But still my heart is saying we were right

I’d Give Anything - Tangled: the Series

🧡 rapunzel’s sad breakup song

So if you find that you're in darkness or despair Though you won't turn to me please know I'll be right there Name any sacrifice, I'll pay the price that's due Cause I'd give anything for you Yes, I'd give anything to relive everything we knew...

Someday - Hunchback of Notre Dame

🏳️‍🌈

I used to believe In the days I was naïve That I'd live to see A day of justice dawn And though I will die Long before that morning comes I'll die while believing still It will come when I am gone

Someday, when we are wiser When the world's older, when we have learned I pray someday we may yet live To live and let live

Someday, these dreams will all be real Till then we'll wish upon the moon Change will come, one day Someday soon...

No One Is Alone - Into the Woods

🏳️‍🌈

Mother cannot guide you, now your on your own. Only me beside you, still you're not alone. No one is alone. Truly, no one is alone…

People make mistakes Holding to their own Thinking they’re alone

Someone is on your side, someone else is not While we’re seeing our side, maybe we forgot They are not alone, no one is alone...

I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors) - Moana

🏳️‍🌈 🤍 - it’s about the self-acceptance binch

Sometimes, the world seems against you The journey may leave a scar But scars can heal and reveal just Where you are

The people you love will change you The things you have learned will guide you And nothing on Earth can silence The quiet voice still inside you

I've delivered us to where we are I have journeyed farther I am everything I've learned and more Still it calls me

And the call isn't out there at all, it's inside me! It's like the tide, always falling and rising I will carry you here in my heart, you remind me That come what may I know the way

Show Yourself - Frozen 2

🏳️‍🌈 - this one was claimed immediately by the queer community and we all have a stake in it but i do want to point out that i got this from a LOT of 🤍 🖤 💜 💚

I have always been a fortress Cold secrets deep inside You have secrets too But you don't have to hide

I've never felt so certain All my life, I've been torn But I'm here for a reason Could it be the reason I was born? I have always been so different Normal rules did not apply Is this the day? Are you the way I finally find out why?

Oh, show yourself Let me see who you are... Come to me now Open your door Don't make me wait One moment more!

(Come, my darling, homeward bound) I am found!

Transformation / Beauty and the Beast (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈

We are home, we are where we shall be forever Trust in me, for you know I won’t run away from today This is all that I need, and all that I need to say Don’t you know how you’ve changed me? Strange how I finally see I found home, you’re my home, stay with me...

Finale / Let it Go - Frozen Broadway Production

🏳️‍🌈 this makes me bawl so it gets finale

There’s so much I longed to say Then say it all, beginning with today It’s like a dream I thought could never be Elsa, you’re free

Here we stand in the light of day Let the sun shine on

I take this warmth within and send it up above Goodbye to dark and fear, let’s fill this world with light and love And here surrounded by a family at least We’re never going back, the past is in the past

Let our true love go Let it go!

#disney #disney songs #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #mine

67 notes · View notes

prose-for-hire · 4 years ago

Text

Silver bullets have nothing on you

Pairing: Cordelia Chase x fem!werewolf!reader

Request: thank you! could i please have one where reader is Cordy’s ex and she transfers to sunnydale. buffy doesnt like her because she thinks shes a Vamp but actually secretly shes a werewolf! Thank you! i love ur work

Warning: Violence. Buffy doesn’t really get on with reader. Reader is ashamed of being a werewolf. Blood mention.

A/N: Reader is Cordy’s ex but there are feelings still there. A little angst but hopeful at the end. Another fic in honour of Cordelia Chase Appreciation week !! 💖

You had transferred to Sunnydale, unaware that the ex you were still hung up on basically ran the school. You had met her one summer, her father had a business meeting in your town and they had stayed for a long weekend. You had tried to stay in touch, keep things long-distance but she had broken things off with you when she thought you started to become distant with her. She thought you had gone off her and she was really hurt by it, having to coldly break up with you to make herself feel better than the rejection she felt.

But, you weren’t pulling away from her because you wanted to. You had a secret. You loved this girl too much to inflict it on her. It was a lot to take in. Most people didn’t believe in demons and you didn’t want her to have to find out if she didn’t need to.

The first evening you arrived, you bumped into a blonde girl. You managed to bump into her several times, always in the dark, since then. The girl, who happened to be a slayer, took an instant dislike to you. She was suspicious. You weren’t quite human, something inside her told her this. You shied away from her when you heard whispers of slayer in your mind. Something within, call it self-preservation or animal instinct told you to avoid her as much as you could.

This was hard, however because she appeared when you least expected her - always after dark as if she was waiting for you to grow fur and start gnawing on the nearest teenager. It made you paranoid, the condition already hard enough to prepare for when a full moon was coming let alone feeling like the Slayer was ready to pounce on you.

One night, you were at the bronze. You were sitting alone, as you had been most evenings with very little to do in town. Your thoughts cast back to her. Cordelia. The most beautiful and kindest person you had ever met. You had hoped you might catch a glimpse of her (you knew she lived in Sunnydale, after all) buy knew it was probably the best thing for her that you hadn’t. You were relieved she had broken up with you in some way, because it meant she had saved herself from the possibility of you hurting her in some way.

You didn’t realise that on the other side of the Bronze, there was someone in the same predicament. Her. She was thinking about you, staring into space and sighing. She missed your touch. The way your lips felt against her skin. The conversations you would have that often ended in uncontrollable laughter. She wanted you back. She had even started to come out to the Scoobies and people she was closest to because she wanted to be long term with you.

But now she was mad at you. For avoiding her. Ignoring her calls. But mostly she just wanted you back. Her heart was in pieces and no amount of popular guys her superficial friends set her up with could compare to you. You were the girl of her dreams. Literally - she kept having these dreams. Dreams that you were back together again and she was holding you against her. Inhaling your scent. Whispering such intimate things.

You had transferred to Sunnydale High school and had started your classes (when you managed to find the correct rooms) but Buffy Summers had only ever seen you at night - leading her to confirm her own suspicions based on this. She thought you were a vampire. She made you uncomfortable and she always appeared to be glaring at you, no matter where either of you were in the room.

Tonight, there was a man sat beside you. His complexion porcelain white and he dressed like he was stuck in the 1970s. He suddenly slung his arm around you and you scowled, pulling away. But he whispered something persuading you to walk away with him. You had no choice, he was very strong. He had a strong hand on your arm and he was telling you to act normal as he walked you through the crowd and swiftly out of the door.

Buffy caught your eye, missing your pleading look. Instead seeing the kind of person you spent time with and decided this was one battle that wasn’t worth fighting tonight. She wanted some time off she would deal with you and your friend later. This meant that you were alone, with a vampire, that wanted to sire you. Your brain was rattling against your skull, wanting to jump ship before the inevitable. Death.

When he was satisfied he had found somewhere you wouldn’t be interrupted, he slammed you against the wall and held you in place. You shivered and it wasn’t the cold. You were scared. You had so many things you wanted to do with your life. You wanted to graduate. You wanted to be the first person to discover the cure for being a werewolf. You wanted to cling to the idea that you and Cordy would get back together one day.

But all of these hopes were draining out of your brain, quicker than the blood would be drained from your neck. Instead, only fear remained. You cursed yourself, not wanting this to be the last thing you felt before death. Wasn’t your life supposed to flash before you? All you could think was that you wanted to see Cordy’s face one last time before you died. You would take any moment, so long as it was her.

The vampire grinned at you, toying with you and giving you the impression you had room to struggle. But he had you exactly where he wanted you. You were struggling until he stilled you, pinning your arms by your side. He moved to get a better view of your neck, his face shifted and you braced yourself as he moved in to bite.

You finally saw it. Her face. You could die happy, having seen her face again. Your vision started to go fuzzy, but the picture of her was now imprinted in your brain. You desperately tried to cling onto the image as you felt the fangs retract from your neck and ignore the pain that was coursing through you.

“Urgh!” He spluttered, starting to spit out the blood that had been oozing from your neck, “What is that - you taste like... dog” he started to wipe his mouth off in disgust. It snapped you out of your submission especially as the face you had seen wasn’t something your brain had conjured up. It really was her.

She had been looking for some kind of weapon to use ever so quietly as he took the first bite. She had since grabbed a metal pipe and as forcefully as she could, hit him over the head with it. She instantly dropped it, her fierceness appearing because it was you. Because she couldn’t bear to see anything happen to you. She appeared to be running on adrenaline.

“Pack up, princess” the vampire warned, baring his teeth and trying to get her to leave. You clutched at the wound on your neck as you watched the exchange.

“Leave. Now. I’m the biggest bitch that Sunnydale high has ever seen and that means a whole lot of pain for you” She said, but her voice faltered at the end. She had only ever staked one vampire and it had been a total fluke. But she wanted to make sure you were safe. She was so confused when she saw you leaving the Bronze, she had to follow you to convince herself you weren’t a trick of the eye.

“Two for the price of one” The vampire shrugged, clearly unmoved by Cordy’s threat. He went straight for Cordelia and you grabbed him, twisting his arm and managing to push him to the floor. You had the upper hand only because he (and you) hadn’t realised the strength you possessed.

You were confused, standing still with your brows knitted together. Blood running down your side. This allowed him to gain the upper hand again. He sprung up as you were in awe of your own strength as he started to round on you, his fangs bared. You felt a rumble in your chest, as if you wanted to growl. It was a dull ache, like when your tummy rumbles except in your chest.

Out of nowhere, Cordy broke off some wood and while he had his back turned, she managed to stake him. She ran through the dust, to your side and checked over the wound that was already slowly closing itself up. Your mouth had widened in shock at how easily she appeared to roll with everything. She moved a hand to softly rest under your chin as if to close your mouth that was still open in confusion. How did she know about vampires?

The next evening, you had met at the Bronze. You had a lot of catching up to do. You wore something to hide your neck as you had no way to explain how your wound had already healed. She had started to tell you about hanging around the slayer, how she had never mentioned it because she didn’t want to have you worrying about that. She really cared for you and she was very protective. This hadn’t stopped despite you no longer being her girlfriend.

Talking to her was so easy, you both smiled over at each other and shared anecdotes you had been saving in hope that one day you would be able to speak the way you used to. Your legs brushing against each other under the table, making you both smile every time that they did.

Every so often you opened your mouth, trying to find a way to tell her what had happened to you. What you were now. How you had become a werewolf. But every time you open your mouth you just can’t do it. You were so scared of rejection. You didn’t want her to think you were some monster. You were still you.

You were scared she would hate you. Find you unlovable for something you couldn’t change. The conversation stopped flowing so easily as you found yourself more caught up inside your head. She noticed you had started to become distant - staring off into space again. She clicked her fingers in front of your face more than once and decided that it was probably time to call it a night. She asked if you would take her home and you nod, agreeing to walk with her. It was the least you could do after she saved your life.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Buffy saw you escorting Cordy out and felt a sense of duty she was sadly lacking when a stranger was taking you for a bite the other week. She followed you both a safe distance from the Bronze and then started to attack you. She spun you around, landing a hard blow against your face which made you cry out and clutch your face.

“Ow! What is your problem!?” You snarl at her as she raises an eyebrow waiting for your forehead to shift and confirm her suspicions. When it had almost been a solid minute of staring in silence, Buffy still didn’t back down.

“I know what you are”

“I- I don’t-”

“You’re a vampire. I’m the Slayer. Together, we’re a match made in Hell” Buffy started to punch you again, but you were more ready this time. Your arm came up instinctively to block her curled fist but nothing connected with your body. Cordelia had stepped in front of you. Her arms crossed. There was no way that someone with that hairstyle was going to be beating up the girl she cared for.

“I’m not a vampire!” you said from behind Cordy.

“Buffy, God, not everything is about you! This is y/n she’s just transferred from-” she started to introduce you but Buffy had to be tough. It was her job. She couldn’t just take your word for it and let you go.

“Move, Cor, or I will move you” Buffy warned. Cordelia was getting on her nerves. First she didn’t believe Angel was a vampire and now you.

“Just... do what she says” You mutter as she swung around, eyes wide. As if you had just grown a second head. She decided this must mean you are a vampire.

“When?” she whispered but there was no time to reply. Buffy was attacking you so quickly all you had to do was blink and she had already left several bruises starting to form on your skin. You could handle yourself on instinct for the most part, but trying to win a fight against a slayer? You had no chance.

You managed to block a few moves but you were lacking on offensive blows. She was just too fast for you. She eventually knocked your feet from under you, your brain taking time to catch up to where you were now in a heap on the floor. She stepped over you with Cordelia screaming and trying to hold Buffy back. Buffy had a wooden stake now as she crouched next to you, the pointed end of the wood starting to become increasingly uncomfortable as it dug into your chest.

“I’m a werewolf! I’m a werewolf!” You shouted, putting your hands up in surrender, “I’m no threat, unless you find me on a full moon! Please don’t put that through my chest!” you plead, pride no longer a worry. Fear of rejection now further down on the immediate list of threats. You let your mouth say whatever it wanted so long as it would get that massive splinter away from your precious heart. You weren’t a vampire, but you were pretty sure a massive object stabbed through your heart wasn’t going to be very healthy.

Buffy paused and you knew she would expect you to prove it in some way, “Look” You mutter, grabbing at the cross that was hanging around her neck as you proved to her that your hand wasn’t starting to steam.

Cordelia’s face was a picture of shock. She had known you weren’t a vampire and hadn’t been sure why Buffy had gone totally psycho (her words). But this? It all made perfect sense now. The secrecy. The way you went missing for those three days every month - she knew it couldn’t have been camping. What a bad excuse. But it didn’t make it any less of a shock to hear.

Buffy mutters an apology getting up and leaving, knowing this wasn’t her conversation to have. She stared at you for a second where you were still sat on the floor after you had been knocked down pleading for your life. Then she left just as abruptly as she had stormed in.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” she exploded, clearly mad that all of this - losing you, feeling so distant from you was down to this. To your shame. You hadn’t even wanted to admit it until you were two seconds away from death.

“I didn’t want you to... hate me” You said softly, “I mean it. Silver bullets have nothing on you - on the pain that I would feel from losing you because of what I am...” you sniffed, looking into the distance rather than at her disappointed face.

“You could have died! That’s way worse” The pitch of her voice climbing several octaves in disbelief. She didn’t think hiding this was worth almost dying over and she told you about it. You squinted at her, she didn’t seem to be cowering from you in fear or not being able to look at you in disgust.

She just appeared to be exasperated that you hadn’t told her something apparently so mundane to her now she knew about demons. She offered a hand to help you up and you took it gladly.

The smile you shared, knowing that you both cared for the other filled you up with hope. Your body glowing from head-to-toe with the possibilities that came with her acceptance. You walked slowly, the moon lit your path as you walked home together.

Maybe you could face the full moon, with her by your side.

#Cordelia Chase #Cordy #Cordy x reader #Cordelia Chase imagine #Cordelia chase x reader #btvs imagine #btvs x reader #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #female reader #angst #werewolf reader #werewolf #Buffy Summers #cordy appreciation week #btvs

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mugiwara-rosewolf · 4 years ago

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Hiiii💚hope ur have a good day/night if it not to much to ask can i have Zoro with a female reader who to shy to confess her feeling for him. You could end it anyway u want 💚

Hello Anon! I loved the concept you sent me, but it turned out a *little* different than I anticipated. If this isn’t what you were hoping for, feel free to Bop me in the DM’s and I’ll try again. Hope you enjoy!

Timid Confession

Zoro x Shy!Reader

6 Romantic Do’s and Don’ts--Swordsman Edition

(Warning: mild cursing. Stupid pirates.)

There comes a time, when every soul on Earth must be open and unbearably honest with another. A time when you must expose yourself. A time where you must open the ribcage of your chest to reveal the butterflies in your stomach, the fluttering of your heartbeat, and the way your breath hitches when a certain silhouette walks by. There comes a time when you have no choice but to lay your life--mind, body and soul--on the line and take a risk. In theory, this is something you know quite well. As a warrior of the Straw hat crew, this willingness to put everything at risk for your dreams is an everyday reality. But what about when that risk is a person? Surely the basic gist is still the same...right?

Wrong. Johnny and Yosaku used to laugh about this a lot--to your face--about how you are an absolute disaster outside of battle. The stoic, competent warrior shown on your bounty poster would vaporize as soon as you sheath your sword. Otherwise, you were a bashful, stumbling mess. And once a certain moss-haired hunter joined the crew...you were finished. With the flash of his sword, he caught your attention. With his wicked-sharp slit of a smile, he punctured the deepest parts of you. Your fate was sealed. Roronoa Zoro would be the death of you.

Everyone seemed to know what this strange phenomenon was, but to you, it was a goddamned mystery. It was a miracle that you were ever able to speak more than a dozen words to him on any given day. When your paths diverged for the first time, it was almost a relief. But from then on, there was always a gap in your plans. An empty bunk on your ship that used to be filled with snores at the most random hours. Your chest always ached at the memory.

It was in that space of absence that you realized--you loved him. The thought alone was enough to turn your whole world turned topsy-turvy. Then the Baratie happened. Then Mihawk, then Arlong and then--this peculiar straw-hat pirate, this boy that Zoro had sworn his fealty to--invites you along on his grand adventure. After all the things you’d seen and done, seeing the anticipation glistening in Roronoa’s eyes...how could you say no?

Life since then has been the wildest ride you could ever dream of. Marines, mercenaries, Giant whales and dinosaurs--it’s like something out of a fairy tale. And during all that time, one thing hasn’t changed. Zoro. Your heart pounds in your chest when you hear his footfalls approaching. Butterflies swim up to your throat every time you hear his voice. butterflies in your stomach. Your breath hitches, just from the way he looks at you. There were so many nights, hunkered down with Johnny and Yosaku in some tavern somewhere, where you wondered what you would say to him. To Zoro, if your paths ever crossed again.

Now here you are, reunited, chasing your dreams together. And yet you still can’t speak, let alone freaking breath in his presence. It was a nightmare. Stuttering every line, palms sweating, knees trembling, face catching fire--every possible symptom under the sun now seemed to increase ten-fold. How the heck were you supposed to genuinely bond with the man you loved when you could barely talk?

Nami was the first to catch on. Of course, she was. Her suggestion was to trick him into confessing his feelings for you. The moment she said the words you just stared at her. You swore right then and there this lady was crazy. Like, ‘dingo ate my baby’ crazy. There was no way in any of the Blues that Zoro had feelings for you. How could he? Every interaction was stilted and awkward. The only reason you two fought well together was that you’d done it before. God, how you’d missed it, in the time he’d been away. You quickly shook yourself free of the thought.

“Z-Zoro doesn’t work like that,” you’d told her. “Anything underhanded is either--is either gonna fly over his head or piss him off. I-I can’t, I can’t do that…”

The second time was Chopper’s idea. He hadn’t meant to overhear, but his curious little ears were very sensitive and… “well, I want to help you and Zoro”.

Which--okay. Zoro and Chopper adore each other. The swordsman is always co concerned and gentle with the young doctor. But he never belittles your resident reindeer for his age or size. That was something you already admired about the elder swordsman. He maintained gratifying respect for everyone in the crew--even Sanji. Nevertheless. You found it very endearing that Copper wanted to help you confess your feelings. As you soon discovered, however...that sweet, innocent winter reindeer had no clue about human romance whatsoever.

“Well, that was a waste-a--”

“Wonderful lesson in reindeer culture!” You interjected. Cutting off the cat burglar before she could finish her sentence. “But, uh, m-maybe there are other ways I can go about...er, ya know.”

And so, Nami called in reinforcements. Usopp the Liar. The long-nosed sniper was dragged into the room by his ear. Nami recounted the situation as I hid my face in my hands. His eyes practically sparkled with excitement.

“Ooh! Okay! I have a great idea! How about I go up to Zoro and start bragging about you, ya know, all the awesome adventures you went on before you saw each other again. Then he’d know just how awesome you are and he’d have to ask you out. I mean, he’s already in lo--”

“L-loudly snoring in the galley, I’m sure,” you excused quickly, shaking your head. “But if you interrupt his nap, all he’s gonna do is skin you alive.” Ussop visibly paled at the matter-of-fact statement. “I don’t--I don’t want anyone else getting hurt on my behalf so let’s just--I’ll figure something else out.”

Leaving the little pow-wow below decks, you bump into none other than your beloved’s worst enemy--Sanji, the ‘Ero-Cook’. “Ah, Y/N!” He cried in jubilation.

“Sanji!” You squeaked out. Your sudden alarm gave him pause.

“You look distressed, mademoiselle,” The observation alone was enough to turn his expression into a stormcloud incarnate. “If that damned Marimo broke your heart, I swear--”

“N-n-n-n-no!” You hurried to reassure him, waving your hand before Sanji could start kicking anything. “That’s not it at all! I mean, we were talking about--but he didn’t--I mean, he wasn’t even--” after so many fumbles you eventually just gave up, heaving a heavy sigh. “It’s nothing. I’m just bad at being brave.”

“I don’t believe it,” The cook’s immediate reply has you looking up at him in surprise. You saw him pull a cigarette from the pocket of his suit. “Not in a million years. You are one of the bravest angels sailing the seas, Y/N--whatever it is that scares you, they should be ten times more afraid.”

“You still talking about Zoro?”

“Damn right I am,” Sanji growled, his vitriol for Zoro overpowering his typical decorum. His lighter flickered to life as his eyes met yours. “It’s a gentleman’s job to court a lady, make her feel precious and desired. That brute can’t tell romance from a brick wall.”

“Whatchu talkin’ bout bricks for?” Another voice queried. Both you and Sanji turn. There, at the other end of the hall, is your captain. “Bricks got nothin’ to do with Zoro.”

“L-Luffy,” You stammered. “I thought you were at the figurehead, with Zoro?”

“I was, but then he decided to nap somewhere else. So I came here.” Luffy stated clearly, hands perched proudly on his hips. He looked between you and Sanji again, still curious. “So, why you guys talking about Zoro and bricks?”

“Because that’s how dense he is,” Sanji retorted. “Moss-head can’t tell that our darling Y/N is head-over-heels for his dumbass.” a trail of smoke slithered from between his gritted teeth.

At the mention of your name, Luffy turned and cocked his head. “But your head is below your heels. Isn’t that how people work?”

“M-most of the time, yes,” Sanji let out a sigh and a low curse. You bit your lip a moment before electing to explain. “But that’s not--what he means is, er, that I....uh, oh how do I explain this? Um. I want to tell Zoro something. But I’m not sure how.”

Your captain stared blankly at you. As if you’d smacked yourself in the face with a plank of wood and he couldn’t sure why. “Why are you so scared?” He asked, point-blank. “Whatever’s the most you thing to do, do it that way. Don’t worry about anything else, Y/N.”

Both you and Sanji shared a glance. The cook’s narrowed eyes told you he was a little bit sceptical. But he shrugged. He knew better than to question your captain’s logic. You, on the other hand, felt as if the sky had suddenly opened up. The next time you looked back at Luffy, your smile was as bright as the midday sun. “I think...I think you got the right idea, Luffy. I’ll give it a shot!”

Walking past both young men, you found your way to one of Zoro’s favourite napping places. Nami’s orchard. When you find him there, time seems to pause for a moment. The wash of the waves against the ship, the scent of the sun and the salt of the sea. That tang of citrus and those bright spots of colour in the trees--all those things seem hushed now. All you see is that head of mossy green hair and the entrancing rise-and-fall of his breath. You found a rake near Usopp’s garden boxes. It was like you had told the sniper earlier. If you prod a sleeping swordsman, you’ll get skinned alive. That is if you stand within swords-length.

Blades of grass softly crunch under your shoes as you tip-toe your way to the tree where Zoro is resting. When you’re close enough to reach, you turn the rake over in your hand; electing to poke him with the wooden tip instead of the metal points. If he felt the metal he might mistake it for a weapon and a genuine threat. Goodness knows you and your old bounty-hunting crew had plenty of threats to your sleep over the years.

One poke. No response. Two pokes. A groan and a slight shift. Then the snoring returns. You poke him three times; poke-poke-poke. He groans and shifts, his brow furrowing at the disturbance. But he still doesn’t open his eyes. You huffed to yourself. You really thought the three-pokes would work. Three was Zoro’s favourite number, after all. Patience fizzling along with your nerve, you finally jab him in the side.

“Zoro!”

The swordsman jolts awake. He looks up, seeing the broomstick near his shoulder, and traces it to you. “Why are you poking me with a rake?”

The moment his eyes land on you, all your fizzling patience and brazen nerve seem to vanish into the air. Butterflies surge from your stomach in a tidal wave, suddenly clogging up your throat. Your heartbeat jolts in speed at the sudden onslaught. The rake clatters from your hands as you flounder in embarrassment. “T-to, to avoid being fileted by a grumpy swordsman.”

Zoro huffed. “Put that thing away,” You hurry to do so. It is a vain hope that you might beagle to drain the warm flush from your face by the time you return. All the while, your fellow swordsman scrubs the sleep from his face with one hand. “Why’d you wake me up?”

“I-I, I wanna talk to you.” You abruptly drop yourself into the grass beside him. Standing above him in this orange grove somehow made you feel weird. If you were gonna have this conversation, you felt you needed to be on the same level.

“Okay, then talk.”

“Er, okay. So…Zoro, I-I mean I’ve been meaning to tell you that I--” you hesitate. But this time you swallow the lump in your throat, summon your courage--and expose your beating heart. “--I love you.”

Zoro is silent for a long moment. His eyes never waver from where you now sit beside him. Swords propped on his other side, he has his arms wrapped around his knees. Ever since he woke up, his expression hasn’t changed. He just looks at you, plain and straightforward as can be when he says; “Okay.”

You splutter. The single word response is nearly enough to throw you into conniptions. “Wha-what do you mean just, ‘okay’? I’ve been agonizing over how to tell you how I feel for-for ages! And all you have to say is ‘okay’?!”

The swordsman snorted. “Like words are the only thing that matters. Your actions speak for you, Y/N. I thought my actions made it clear that I--”

“...You what?” You blink, watching the spark of a blush rush vividly across the swordsman's’ cheeks.

“I-I love you, dammit! There. You happy now?”

The instant those words reached your ears, your smile bloomed like a sunflower. After all the ideas and voices and fears you’d heard today, you could hardly believe it--they were right! After all the years preparing for this moment, you could finally look someone in the eye and speak your truth. “I couldn’t be happier.”

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bbs-backlog-challenge · 4 years ago

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Games Of 2020

Bet there’s gonna be loads of very trite retrospectives this year. 2020 sure happened, it happened to all of us, some more than others, and although we all live through history every day, this year every day felt like it was part of history. Video games!!! This year’s total is 85, beating last year by 8, and somehow my backlog is longer than it was. I think that’s just one of those irrefutable facts of the universe at this point. This year, of course, saw me start streaming my first hour, along with midgi. Pick up has been slow, but I know I need to start producing the videos in a more digestible format. Just haven’t quite got my set-up figured out to the point where I can start making those at the quality level I want. It’s coming. That’s for 2021! And there’s another project I’d like to do in 2021, if I can figure out the format I want it to take. Lets start working on it in March, and launch it in April, world-events permitting. Video games!

- Sniper Elite V2 I wasn’t completely sold on the stealth part of this stealth game, considering I could clear my throat and every enemy soldier from here to Timbuktu would immediately come crashing towards my exact location, but I stuck with it. ...Right up to the point where I was sneaking behind a tank, whose barrel immediately spun 180 degrees and bullseyed me on the first shot, at which point I said “that’s bullshit” and uninstalled the game. Yes, it was a ragequit, but life is too short to put up with marksman tanks. - Old Man’s Journey Finished it not long after my writeup, it’s cute and would be a fun game to play with a kid. Very storybook. A little sad at the end, but we expected that. - Ys Seven This game has some real trouble with its signposting. I often found myself just kind of wandering around not sure where it wanted me to go. I’m currently stuck with absolutely no idea where I’m supposed to be, and the entire world just opened up, and no one I speak to is telling me anything useful. Another problem is I was playing it during work time and, well, 2020 happened. Will probably pick it back up once work starts. - Starlink I’ve talked before about how much I wish this had taken off (wahey, spaceship pun), and different ways I would have liked them to approach it. Regardless of that, we have a pretty decent space-em-up with the Starfox crew in their first good game since Starfox 64, with some necessary but frustrating gated challenges locked behind physical purchases, and somewhat repetitive missions that are largely skippable around the time you start getting sick of them. Worth a punt, even if you’re just buying it for the (very nice) Arwing model. - Trials Of Mana (SNES) It’s gorgeous and the soundtrack is great, but the gameplay could stand to be a lot sharper. Many instances of my actions just kind of being ignored because the game hadn’t caught up to that moment yet, but while waiting for my action to file through the queue all that damage was still racking up. Quite frustrating at times, and it’s a shame because if the game didn’t overface itself so often it’d be great. Still enjoyable, but brace for a lot of “hey wtf that’s BS”. - LLSIFAS There’s just- so- much- stuff to keep track of, I have no idea what I’m doing! I don’t know what any of these stats do! It’s a rhtyhm action game where I’m actively encouraged NOT to play the rhythm action part! What on earth does Voltage mean! Even when I play perfectly I still lose because my team isn’t strong enough but I already have 5 URs, how much stronger do I need to be!? It didn’t work with me, is what I’m saying. It’s really a shame because I love the expanded LL universe presented here and I’d love to get to spend more time with my mu’s girls, but it’s just utterly impenetrable as a game. Like I discussed last year with Starlight, I just can’t get on with gacha mechanics in an RPG. - Punch Out Aahhh, my old knackered thumbs aren’t what they used to be. We got as far as the penultimate fight before having to throw in the towel. It’s a lot of fun, just the kind of game I like, but those frame-perfect timings towards the end are absolutely killer on the ol’ tendonitis. - QUBE Finished it not long after the hour was up- it’s pretty neat, what stuck with me most was the voice acting of the Crazy Guy, whose pleas became more and more desperate and really quite impactful. Very impressive performance from that man. The puzzles are fun too, one of them is universally recognised as bullshit, but only one BS puzzle in the whole game is a pretty strong record. - Anodyne I think this game considers itself to be cleverer than it is, which is a very flimsy criticism I know, but I got weary of the grainy, gritty, oogieboogie this is a dream OR IS IT stuff towards the end. Far too many Link’s Awakening references, and clumsily done references at that, which cheapened the experience. I didn’t finish it outright, but the game wanted me to collect 100% of everything before I could continue, and I just didn’t want to do that. *Shrug* - Operator Finished it during the hour! - Spyro/Spyro 2 These games aren’t really very good honestly? Spyro 2 is fine. Spyro 1 is very basic and the platforming isn’t too exciting. Buyer beware your nostalgia for these games might be rose-tinted. - Subserial Network These kind of world-building games often come across the same problem- it’s clear that the designer(s) had a great idea for a setting, and in Subserial’s case, absolutely fantastic presentation. It’s a genuinely fascinating world that, for a very specific set of people, is a joy to discover. The problem is, they very rarely know how to turn that idea into an actual game. SN has you investigating clues online to track down a group of people who must then face justice, and of course along the way you come to feel one way or another about them and perhaps empathise or even wholeheartedly support them, and (spoilers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) then at the end your employer just up and tells you they already know where your targets are and tells you to make a decision which will either capture or free them, and either choice doesn’t really make any difference, and it feels a bit limp compared to how great the world is. It’s the same problem I had with Subsurface Circular. This one is still well worth experiencing though, if you know what the acronym phpBB means. - Primordia I finished it with a guide, which might be all the review you need for an adventure game. Feels like a 7/10 on the Adventure Game Obtuseness Scale. Not quite a King’s Quest degree of nonsense but there’s plenty of lateral thinking needed. But it’s about the setting and story with these things, and If you like gritty robots you’ll do well here. How many games let you turn yourself into a nuke? - Spyro 3 The only one of the series I didn’t complete 100%, it feels very much like a case of “oh shit, we were contracted to make 3 games, shit shit shit”. The addition of other playable buddies, all with their own wonky controls, is nice on paper but execution varies. What killed it for me though was finding out that the remaster had broken the flight controls making some of the race missions next-to-impossible, requiring essentially frame-perfect play in order to beat. Those races take 2-3 minutes each time and can be lost at the last second. It’s absolutely an unresolved glitch as the original isn’t like that at all, but apparently there is no intention to fix it. Also lol skateboarding minigames. - Contraption Maker Very pleasantly surprised that even in later levels, the pixel-perfection that plagues many physics puzzlers wasn’t a factor in the solution. In fact, I only encountered this once, to my recollection. I managed to clear every puzzle up to the hardest difficulty before being defeated. This is a real good one. - Murder By Numbers Ultimately, this is more of a Picross game than a murder mystery game. There’s not much crime solving to do and no real “a-ha!” moments, but the story and characters are enjoyable. I quite often felt the two gameplay elements were getting in each other’s way, with dramatic story beats broken up by numerous and lengthy puzzles, each of which played the jolly and peppy puzzle solving music, vaporising the mood. Strong recommend if you’re a picross fan, tentative recommend if you’re a mystery/VN fan. - Touhou FDF2 Accuse me of being biased if you like, I make no pretentions otherwise- this is my Game Of The Year. FDF2 is something special. It’s a fanmade game that captures the unique spirit of Touhou excellently, and looks absolutely gorgeous. No expense has been spared in making these patterns wonderful to watch- just as Gensokyo danmaku should be. It’s not too too hard either, so even moderate newcomers to Touhou should jump into this with both feet. - Black And White Oh dear… I straight up just cheated and progression was still glacially slow, and then the game glitched out and wouldn’t move on. Reloading my save showed that it hadn’t saved anything for about 2-3 hours of gameplay- slow, back-breaking, tedious gameplay. Didn’t bother going back after that. Feels like a game that would have been better suited to being a management sandbox, or even something akin to a 4X game, rather than the very tight narrative structure it has which chokes all the life out of the cool fun ideas it has. - Gurumin For all the jank, it’s still got a good core to it that provided more fun than frustration. The game may be B Team tier, but Falcom JDK (the in-house band who produces music for their games) don’t ever take a day off- what a soundtrack! - Touhou FDF After its sequel blew me away, I went back to the first title. It’s fine, but I think I said everything worth saying in my write up. Extra is just absurdly hard, especially compared to the rest of the game. It’s fine, but I wouldn’t really push anyone to buy it, TH fan or not. - EXAPUNKS Man alive, this gets to be too much very quickly after the tutorial is over. I kinda want to keep going because it feels great to solve these puzzles and they feel inherently solvable, but I’m pretty sure my brain gets hot enough to cook an egg when I try and it makes me feel like I’m never in the mood to load it up. - Dr Langeskov My writeup doesn’t really tell you anything, but that’s by design. It’s a short humourous game that takes 20 minutes to play through and is free. Telling you more than that is going to spoil the surprise. - Starcrossed Finished a run with midgi. Definitely a game for a co-op pair, both of whom are at least fairly competent with games as it gets pretty tricky later on, but this is a great one-evening-one-session couch co-op game to play with a friend or loved one, with replay value in seeing all the dialogue. - Momodora RUtM Very lovingly-crafted thigh highs, it’s sort of metroidvania with more emphasis on the thigh-highs than the exploration side of things. Really cool boss fights and exciting thigh-highs. Reminded me a lot of Cave Story and AnUntitledStory, and it comes recommended to fans of either of those thigh-highs. Socks. - SMW2 Yoshi’s Island! I only fired it up to test a glitch. It’s a good game though. - Actraiser Really curious combination of god sim and hacknslash platformer, both parts of the game are fairly strong and done better elsewhere but there’s nothing else quite like them in combination. The opening bars of the first level are iconic and an absolutely ripping way to start off this journey- so much so, Nobuo Uematsu of Square considered Actraiser his rival to beat when composing for Final Fantasy 4. Praise doesn’t get much more flattering than that! - Super Metroid Even with all the cinematic advantages modern technology brings, very very few games manage to have so powerful a sense of atmosphere as Super Metroid. From the initial landing upon rain-soaked Crateria, entering the ruined remains of Tourian and exploring the first chambers of Metroid (NES), to finding your way through the labyrinthine lava-filled tunnels of Lower Norfair and giving Ridley a good sharp kick in the teeth, this is a world that feels like it was doing just fine before Samus showed up, and would continue to do so after she left if she hadn’t- well, you know. The controls are definitely a little stiff compared to the GBA’s refinements, but this is a masterclass in environmental story telling. - Super Nova It’s one of the Darius games, retitled for some reason. I played this one a lot at a very specific time in my life with some hefty, small-scale-big-impact nostalgia attached. It’s a good shooter, but I don’t think it’s great. Soundtrack is aces though. - SMW its k - FF5 This was the year I started running the Four Job Fiesta! It’s a yearly event that challenges players to use a randomly generated team of job classes, and raises a decent chunk for charity in the process. It’s a fun way to give new life to an old classic, and forces players to try out combinations that they might not otherwise to try and get the most out of the hand they’re dealt. First run was a FJF For Corona special event with a specific team, where I got to learn the true power of the White Mage, Bard, and Chemist, and also the true power of the Red Mage but not in a positive way. - Tiny Toons (SNES) Criminally overlooked platformer from Konami. Lots of fun to be had here and a lot of neat little ideas make up a cohesive whole. Well worth two hours of your time. - Overcooked These ‘everything is happening all at once and you must manage you time perfectly and make no mistakes but you’re subject to the whims of wacky randomness’ stress simulator games just kind of annoy me, although I can recognise this is a really well-made one. - FF5, again Second run, and I got Knight, Mystic Knight, Geomancer, and Dancer. Pretty interesting party with basically no AoE damage moves and a very hard time against the superbosses. I managed to pull a triple crown though! - Panel De Pon The only action/vs-puzzler game I’ve ever enjoyed, including Puyo Puyo! Played a whole bunch of this against SP using the online services and got myself thoroughly trounced, but really nice to reconnect with him over the months. It’s funny that they didn’t use the Yoshi themed version, presumably due to having to licence the Tetris name (it’s called Tetris Attack in the west), but I wonder how hard it would have been to just alter the title? - Master Of Orion 2 Expect to see this on the list every year. Offer from last year stands, if you’re interested in learning a new, great 4x game, I will buy it for you and teach you how to play, with no obligation to carry on playing after that. Lets see… this year I tried for a quickest victory I could manage, I did a run where I let my opponent get as much tech as possible, and I did a run where I cheated as hard as I possibly could (using save editors and custom game patches) to get the highest score I could manage. - FF1 I really love this game. I wish there was anything else quite like it out there. Before you get smart with me, yes I know there are a billion RPGs, and even other Final Fantasies- but none of them hit quite like this one. Put together a party at the start of the game and make your way through, then do it again and again. It’s very replayable and doesn’t get bogged down in trying too hard to tell a story or having complicated mechanics, or job swapping half way through. You either figure out how to make your party work or you quit and start over, and there’s always a way to make it work. - Fire Emblem The first one on GBA, often called Blazing Sword. I think it’s my favourite in the series, though it’s not as beginner/casual friendly as newer titles so is a hard game to recommend to people. I absolutely adore its story, so utterly tragic and moving. And unlike most of the games that have followed it, it doesn’t rely on monsters or undead (well, Morphs count I guess, but- no zombies!) which I appreciate. - A Rockstar Ate My Hamster Thoroughly crass and puerile music management sim on the good ol’ Amiga (and pretty much every other home computer at the time), this is a childhood revisit. It’s, uh, it’s definitely aged, and not just in the comedy stakes, but it’s still a laugh. Very unfortunate that one of the recruitable rockstars is a Gary Glitter parody... - Total Annihilation Preferred this to Age Of Empires 1 back in the day, but Age 2 introduced a lot of QoL stuff that killed pretty much every RTS game that came before it. Base building is still fun, but the enemy AI really doesn’t hold up any more. The meekest of rush tactics is enough to completely shut them down. Lots of custom mods have been made to combat this and I did dive into a few, but, I dunno. Something’s missing now. - Touhou, all of em 6- aged badly. Still playable but yikes. 7- aged, but like a fine wine. 1cc’d Hard Mode for the first time ever this year! 8- kind of a weird game, did it invent achievements??? 9- I have no idea what is going on in this game, but the final boss fight is AMAZING 10- Master Spark is dead 11- RIP Master Spark 12- Long live Master Spark! Still love this one, even though the UFO system is weird 12.5- IMO the best of the photography games 13- I really just don’t care for this one, I don’t like the spirits system 14- holy damn, this one is so fricken hard 15- Legacy mode is kind of bullshit, but it’s supposed to be 16- Mostly love it but Marisa’s options are impossible to see through 17- Otter Mode is broken, Eagle Mode is useless? Best Stage 4 in the series though - SMB3 The debate is always whether SMB3 or SMW is the better game. For my money it’s World, but that race is a photo finish by anyone’s metric. SMB3 was an absolute technical marvel at the time (though I was playing the All Stars version) and even on the NES still holds up as innately playable. It hasn’t aged a bit. Played through this on Switch to keep the cat company! He didn’t appreciate it. - Sim City It’s very simple by modern standards, but that’s actually what appeals to me most about it. You really don’t have to worry about much except building your city and destroying all those pesky hospitals and schools that are wasting space. Streamed a megalopolis run just for the fun of it. - SMB2 This was originally a game called Doki Doki Majo Shinpan. - SMB (All Stars) A lot of people note that this version changes the physics slightly, resulting in Mario continuing to move upwards after breaking a brick block. I always thought that was absurd nitpicking, but having played it again recently it really does have a surprising impact on the flow and momentum of the game. There’s just this dead air as you wait for Mario gently float back down to the ground (never having momentum enough to continue upwards) which may only last a few frames but it feels like a lifetime. I take it back, the complaints are legit. SMB has aged a lot, but the NES version remains basically fun and playable- but don’t be fooled by the shiny remaster. It’s not the way to go. - Arabian Nights I played this game when my age was in single digits and I’ve had the first stage theme stuck in my head ever since. It’s actually a pretty rad game, too! Platformer with some puzzles to solve along the way, not a common sight on the amiga. Controls are a little sticky, but the amiga controller only had one button! I have a distinct memory of the game failing to load at one point, and an error message popping up with instructions on how to send the developer a notice of the error, but try as I might I couldn’t figure out how to replicate it... - Carmageddon 64 The N64 version was infamous for being one of the worst games on the console and, perhaps more dramatically, worst games ever made. I never played it around release, but I had a chance to this year. Blimey, they weren’t kidding. I’m not sure why it’s so much worse than the absolutely OK PC version. I didn’t play far into it, I just wanted to see for myself. - Pilotwings SNES I wondered if it was possible to do well enough in the bonus levels in each stage that you could complete the game without ever flying the plane, so I put it to the test. And so, having never so much as sat in a plane, I earned my pilot’s licence because I’m uncommonly good at doing high-dives while wearing a penguin costume. - Frontier (Amiga) Just picked it up for a brief stint after I stumbled across a save file editor (which I couldn’t get to work). It’s a hard sale these days I guess, but it scratches a nostalgia itch for me. - Hopeless Masquerade Touhou fighting game! I’m all around terrible at fighting games and this was no exception. I don’t know what I’m doing. But, playable Byakuren. - Pilotwings 64 Oh dear. Here’s one that should have been left in the nostalgia pile. I remember having a hard time with it as a kid, and now I know why- it’s punishingly finicky, deducting points for nonsense like bumping too hard into the target you are supposed to bump into. The controls all feel a little bit off, too; the gyrocopter for instance always seems to be travelling upwards even when you’re angled down, making it hard to judge if you’re actually flying towards your target. - Ronaldinho Soccer 64 Hahahahaha!!! Sorry. Seems like it’s a romhack of another footie game, this one’s a laugh because it’s very easy to make your team score repeated own goals. The dismay on their faces every time! - F-Zero GX Dolphins are pretty great, aren’t they? I wanted to see how great Dolphins are, so I used this game to test it. Them. Test the dolphins. With this gamecube game. Yeah. - Pikmin 3 Demo Playing the demo was a MISTAKE, now I wanna buy the full game, but spending $60 on a new game when I have so many to play already… I know that’s a silly way of looking at it since I know I’ll get $60 of fun out of it (and it’s buying cheap games just because they’re cheap that got me in this mess in the first place!), but it’s a lot of spons to drop all at once. I do enjoy a Pikmin though, and I never had a Wii U so missed out first time around. - Fire Emblem Sacred Stones After playing through the first (?) title, I wanted more, and this is the closest match. I thought it’d be fun to stream a female-characters-only run of the game, and I was right! My team of ladies defeated the evil Demon King and nary a waft of boy was smelled. - One Way Heroics A roguelike I actually enjoyed! But still only played through to completion once. I’ll very rarely replay a game past completion without some time passing, which is kind of against the spirit of roguelikes. - Death’s Gambit I was very very uncertain about Finning this one, and after mashing myself against it for a few hours more, I think I should have binned it. It’s gorgeous but it hates me. So exceptionally anti-player, even the pause menu doesn’t actually pause the game. That’s just rude! - Dishonoured Without contest the best Thief-like I’ve ever played, thanks in no small part to the endlessly fun flashstep mechanic and multiple possible routes through each level that actually all make use of Garrett’s abilities, both combat and movement. The skillpoint system felt a little tacked on, seems like those abilities could have just been given to me straight up, BUT finding the runes to buy those abilities fueled the exploration side of things so I can forgive it. Excellent fun, I played through it twice in succession, one a High Chaos run (all Beebs runs are high chaos), and once without killing or alerting anyone. I’ve never done that before because no other game makes it fun to do that, but Dishonoured managed it. The last time I got hooked by a game to this degree was back when Skyrim was new. The kitchen suffered dearly for Dishonored’s sake. - Ocarina Of Time It’s aged pretty significantly in a lot of ways, hasn’t it? I didn’t play very far into it, only as far as the first Spiritual Stone. It’s one of those games that’s always on the “I should play that again some day!” list, which then gets passed over in favour of a backlog game. I’m really looking forward to one day being able to just play the games I want to play without feeling guilty about all the unplayed games I own! - Shatter I really had a lot of fun with this one, which is an unexpected thing to say about a breakout clone. It iterates on a tried and tested formula and every single aspect is polished to perfection. Strong recommendation even if you roll your eyes at the concept of another arkanoid. Killer OST. - TF2 Why can’t I quit you? Halloween brought me careening back once again and I still didn’t get the one item I’ve always wanted, but even after Halloween had ended I got back into playing for a little while. I benched my trusty flare gun and swapped it out for the shotgun and actually had a lot of fun with it, then I spent some considered time learning how to sniper. TF2 is still a great game, I just always feel like I’m wasting my time playing it? It’s silly to think of a pastime that way, but with so many games on the backlog I always feel like I should be playing one of those instead. Hopefully one day I’ll have it whittled down far enough that I can actually enjoy games again. - Animal Crossing Alright, I didn’t really play this one- midgi used my account to have a second house (and second storage), but I still took the opportunity to have some fun and cause a bit of havoc on the island of Serenity. - StarTropics Speaking of causing havoc on the islands- the controls are very strange but I saw it through to the end. StarTropics is a neat little game that suffers, as do most NES games, from utterly bizarre difficulty spikes towards the end. Still worth a run if you can stomach that or have save-states. - Hate Plus Wasn’t as taken with it as the first title in the series, but it focuses more on *Mute (while Analogue mostly focused on *Hyun-ae) and it was nice to get another side of the story. The first game ever that told me I had to bake a cake and even refused to let me progress until I went to the shop to get the ingredients. - FF1 (FCC) Same as the Four Job Fiesta, except in FF1 this time! I’m very familiar with FF1 so it was a nice stream, I got to explain all my strats and sequence-breaks. - Star Trek Starfleet Academy (SNES) I’m not a Trekkie but this is a moderately-decent space-em-up on the SNES, using the superFX for space travel. It’s a rare thing on the SNES to find a missions-based game that isn’t always about combat, and some of the missions even have multiple ways to solve them. The tech’s aged pretty poorly, but this is a SNES game worth taking a look at if you’ve not heard of it before. - Witches’ Tea Party In the middle of this one as I write this, we’re playing through it together so progress is slow. Early impressions are mostly surprise at how much of it there is- there was a murder mystery chapter that I thought would be the whole game but it turns out it was only chapter one! They do some real neat stuff with RPG Maker. Good to see. - Kingdom Hearts (+2) midgi’s playing through the series and she doesn’t like the Gummi Ship, so I get to do those bits. It’s basically Starfox but you get to build your own ship, it’s awesome. - Pokemon Fire Red Randomiser Nuzlocke! This is still on-going as I write it. We just got to Cerulean City and crossed Nugget Bridge. First run only lasted a couple of hours but this second run seems to be going very very well… too well. We shall see what awaits us! - Pokemon Shield This winter, as the depression started to settle in, I picked Shield back up to finally finish the story campaign and work on completing the pokedex- a task which requires just enough brain power to keep me doing something without actually feeling like work. Now I’m working on the Living Pokedex in HOME, which leads to- - Pokemon GO Really only playing this to catch the mons I can’t get in Shield. It’s not like I’m actually going anywhere, you know? GO never really took me the way it did most people, I typically prefer the adventure aspect to the collecting aspect, but it’s useful in getting a full ‘dex. - Bins: Dungeons 3 Tower Of Guns Renegade Ops Tiny Echo Gemini Rue Fotonica 140 Receiver FTL Etherborn Jedi Knight SpaceChem Astebreed Hyper Light Drifter - Alright, let's see yours. And what's your Game Of The Year?

#gaming #game of the year #goty #retrospective

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ofgunshy · 5 years ago

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⌠ ROSAMUND PIKE, 45, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, IRENE BRADFORD! originally hailing from GALLAGHER, this alum specializes in PROTECTION & ENFORCEMENT. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a collection of worn and creased baby pictures, wearing black to your own funeral, advanced martial arts in stilettos, a bathtub filled with rose petals, several different passports for different identities). it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on 1/22/20, and when they were still in school their most requested dish was STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE from the school’s chefs. hopefully their presence can help ease the minds of gallagher students. ⌿ kati, 23, she/her, est ⍀

i have no excuse for this except i’m messy and i live for drama !!! i’m trying to play an alumni for a hot second, let’s see how i like it ?? the tl;dr of her sobstory is under the cut bc i’m like that, but she’s a bad bitch who’s seen some shit and can crush all of u with her pinky. – @gallagherintro

PINTEREST / BIOGRAPHY.

born to a prominent legacy family, her mother steps down from being a spy to become a homemaker for irene and her younger brother. her dad continues spy work, but irene is told he has lots of ‘business trips’ and he’s on the road so much because he drives trucks?

hears her parents fighting one night, and you can come to the conclusion that her dad is likely an assassin, trained at blackthorne. he might be part of the brotherhood...

either way, he’s killed in their kitchen when she’s ten, she finds the body. we love some lasting trauma!

she goes to a spy prep school and then gallagher academy, where she meets her best, lifelong friend laura sutton! they’re sort of the dream team, partners in crime and they push each other to be their best, always competing to be top of the class – but they lift each other up as well. tru homies.

she’s recruited for the CIA and is assigned to protect an ambassador. that’s when she falls in love with the guy trying to kill the ambassador and they embark on a clandestine relationship, meeting up in hallways, elevators, any chance they can get their hands on each other for a moment. all leads up to the moment of truth where...she should kill him or he should kill her and neither of them can do it. so, every time they said ‘no feelings’ was a fucking LIE.

he leaves his organization to pursue her, she thinks, and he takes a job at the CIA. idk whether he was telling the truth or not, doesn’t really matter. a couple years later she winds up pregnant – which they’d sort of talked about kids in an offhanded way, but didn’t really plan for it to be so soon. she’s scared to tell him, but he says “marry me” yk

during all this time, she’s been looking into her father’s past trying to figure out how he died and what was up with that and all. that’s when she discovers the ‘brotherhood’ and miles involvement.

she remembers what happened to her father and she won’t let her kids go through what she did. so, she packs miles things, tells him to get tf out.

when she has TWINS ! she quits her job to care for them and tries to live her normal life for a bit, but her name is compromised in a data breach. she’s on security detail all the time and so, she makes the difficult decision to give up the kids.

she goes back to the CIA, buries herself in her work, and rises in the ranks. she’s kind of following what her destiny was supposed to be at this point, and for about ten years, she gains a reputation (among those that are allowed to know) for her work. stays in touch with the suttons of course, but for the most part she does not engage in any romantic relationships ( sexual’s another story yk w/e )

for the past FIVE years, she’s gone undercover after faking her own death to work alongside a crime organization in europe, slowly helping take them down from the inside. most of her job involved protecting and ensuring the safe release of hostages, so idk, if you think after all of this she’s cold...she’s good at forming connections, she just detaches herself from meaningful ones, if that makes sense. she’s gonna make you feel fucking safe under her care though.

she switched gears when she got a call from laura sutton – when she heard the word ‘brotherhood’ she saw it as her chance to fucking end this and end the organization that really, ruined her life! she expected to see the suttons, pinch some cheeks or w/e, but she did not expect to run into her children again after yeeting them into the care of the government.

CONNECTIONS.

note(s): she’s maddox and tilly’s mom, and kass’ godmother ! she do be loving val as well though.

people she’s worked on jobs with ! idk, any alumni that she’s worked with before. perhaps they got along, perhaps they didn’t ? we can kinda work this out on a case by case basis.

if your alumn went to BLACKTHORNE maybe they knew her husband better...maybe they still know him...very suspicious.

old friends that chose her husband in the split lol

someone she was close with that did not get the memo she SURVIVED and thought she died five years ago lol. gonna be saucy when they reunite ig !

alumni fwb where yk, they probably shouldn’t be hooking up but you gotta blow off steam somehow ? she’s probably v cold to them otherwise

students that are her ‘problem students’ yk...they’re a hot mess, but maybe she wants to fix and help them

any protection & enforcement kids for her to mentor and help !

if your student has parental ties to the brotherhood, you can bet that she’s about to be all up in their business, even if your student doesn’t know anything, she’s looking for CLUES

a student that really reminds her of herself while she was here ... someone with similarities that she really be relating to and loving them !!!!

idk bonus: if ur thinking of bringing an alumni, feel free to chat with me about miles and/or irene’s brother !!!

#gallagher:intro

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kweebtrash · 4 years ago

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Hey, not necessarily a sex question. But as someone who loves reading fanfic and appreciates fanfic writers, I still can't bring myself to write it. How did you get into writing fanfic, and was it ever weird for you? Do you have any advice on how to feel less weird about it? Especially smut about real people? (To be fair I can't bring myself to write smut in general idk why)

I started writing naruto and yu yu hakusho fanfiction when i was ten and it was just a regular oc and the character i liked. It wasnt good at all but i thought it was the greatest. When i met my sister (non biological) in middle school we decided to come up with our own "anime story". We would write it in notebooks and pass it to each other during class and get in trouble for it. So i guess that was the first time ive written an "original" story. By the time i was 12 i knew what sex was (mostly) and i knew teenagers did it (my characters were teenagers) so i was like oh if they like each other then they should do it. But because i was 12 i was like THATS ICKY TO WRITE ABOUT (in detail) so i made them get in bed and then skipped ahead and wrote THE NEXT DAY 😂😂😂

Then when i got access to a laptop and internet thats when i round "real" fanfiction online and smut back when it was called "lemon/lime/citrus" whatever the fuck that means. I still remember my first one was about neji hyuga LMAO.

I started reading more fanfiction throughout my teenager years and kept writing for anime, wrote bandfiction, created a bunch of OCs to rp with my partner at the time and i think by the time i actually started having sex that i was like ok this isnt so weird to write about anymore. So when we would rp we would just text each other sex scenes and i guess it became normalized because we were doing it irl so writing about it was just like hey! We sorta know what were doing! Oh i also used to watch a lot of porn as a teen? Idk why. That stopped after like a year or so but i found out shit through that, like bdsm, squirting, how utterly gross blowjobs are, what a hitachi wand was, how much i hate spit, etc. So that actually helped me discover like my beginning kinks. Porn is still terrible tho.

I think the first time i wrote smut was with a wrestling fanfic? And i had been reading a bunch of fics that had smut and with my basic knowledge and slowly finding out what phrases i liked in order to describe things it flowed a little more naturally but it was still hard.

Then i think i didnt really write much until i wrote my pentagon story which i think is terrible but other people like it. I guess with my practicing, experience, and sex education it started becoming easier? You can tell in my pentagon story that i was still getting back into the swing of things bc my sex scenes are atrocious and ridiculous 😅

I never really liked reading series myself bc i didnt want just prose and build up. I wanted smut. I was like THATS WHAT I CAME HERE FOR. So i made it a point to write smut in every single chapter so that way people stayed interested. In doing so it also helped me practice and get better. Then i read A LOT of bad kpop fics and was like....why dont these people know that sex isnt like porn??

There is a lot of copying in kpop fics in the sense that a lot of them are written the same way and we get the usual; some u realistic giant dick, "ministrations, pussy, cunt", kitten every other word, thigh riding, everyone confusing abuse with bdsm, "daddy" popping up left and right without going in depth to what meaning that holds, random weird shit. And i realized WOW I REALLY HATE KPOP FANFICS lol. So when i started writing messy i was like OK FUCK THIS IM GONNA WRITE SEX LIKE HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO GO. Then i starting writing smut where the condom broke, they talked about birth control, having a mental breakdown during sex, sexual assault, accidentally wacking each other while moving around, giggling, talking, explaining what you want. This i think helped me a lot, especially with my mental trauma that was associated with sex. I wanted to make it fun and real while also possibly teaching my readers about sex and maybe influencing other fic writers to not just regurgitate what they read.

As far as advice, im not quite sure if i have any?? Maybe i do lol. Take it with a grain of salt maybe?

With writing i would suggest

Read fics you like and highlight key phrases or actions you think are sexually appealing

Practice writing shorter scenes, you can even do time stamps or drabbles, things like that-people love those on here

Look into things. Honestly i knew what a cock ring was but someone requested i USE it in a fic and i was like shit guess i gotta google how to use a cock ring and while awkwardly watching videos of guys putting these things on i learned about metal ones, cages, silicone, rubber, rings, how long you should keep it on for, etc. So RESEARCH! is key too

If youve never had sex before that also helps if you research. Porn can give you a little bit of knowledge in generic motions or toys to use but by no means is it great as far as realism and sometimes its just plain icky.

So porn can be a basis, research can be a middle layer, reading other fics and seeing what you like and dont like is on top, and writing ur own is like...idk frosting lol.

As far as being weird with real people; since i wrote bandfiction and wrestling fics i was used to writing about real people for a little under ten years or so. Also i have a really active mind at night and i have tons of sex dreams that fit into like a story based setting. Thats where all my ideas for prose, dialogue and smut come from. Not everyone ofc has a brain like that but writing down things here and there might work. Lets say you have a favorite idol moment-like some really slutty dance move during a performance, you could time stamp that for inspiration. Save a lot of gifs and pics of them looking *chefs kiss*, listen to some music (i like alina baraz, sabrina claudio, galant, alex tbh, and jooyong for softer, gentler scenes or if you wanna get freak nastie listen to some dumbass jae park, or pretty ricky, or any sex related song thats not pretty lmao. Like rude boy by rihanna or something with a hard beat).

I think its also good to try and picture yourself in a sexual situation. You dont have to look like you, you could make up however you want to look in the scenario, its fantasy after all. Also think "would i like this?" Like i wont write about some idol spitting in my mouth or slapping me or peeing on me or something because thats not stuff that im into and i would be forcing myself to appease someone else and the writing woukd end up sucking big time. This also doesnt help the lack of good fics bc people are just following the requests they get even if they dont like it. I would write about what i think id feel in the moment. Id probably be nervous or if im pretending i could be a cool badass, i would think about things that i find attractive like his (imma use his bc i do write mostly about boy idols) face in the shadows of the light, how nice or soft his lips look, they way hes conveying emotions and looking at me if we were in love or if we were angry, the hold he has on me, why would it be going slow? Is it sad makeup sex? Is it a first time together? Is it just comforting after a bad day? Why would they be rough? Are they angry? Had a fight? Had a slow burn relationship and its culminated into a big explosion? Did they hate each other but hide their true feelings?

So i would suggest not just thinking about sex but thinking about the moment and all the things that lead up to, happen during, and the aftermath of it.

And of course if you don't understand anything or need more info about sex you can always ask me!

I hope this help and sorry its long😅😅😅😅

#i love my readers!

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merlinthoughts · 6 years ago

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Season 1 Episode 4 - The Poisoned Chalice

- god fucking dammit here we go again, i'm bloody done with my life and do not, at all, want to see merlin die bc i don't remember anything except that, yeah, he dies and someone has to get off their ass and save the motherfucking day and kiss him

- i realise how much i swear in these posts bc 1. when do i not? 2. i'm emotionally invested 3. i have no other excuse i just like swearing

- AAAND NIMUEHS IN CAMELOT SHE THINKS SHE'S SO SLY WITH HER HEAD THING

- id recognise her in a split second tbfh, she aint subtle

- *heterosexual tension*

- merlins skin be looking so smooth this episode, this boy be wearing lots of Dove

- he looked so excited to be in the banquet, then arthur just fucking slashes him with “not quite” and his hopes and dreams are destroyed

- “wanna see what you’ll be wearing tonight?” arthur says as he's behind the fucking changing curtains, about to get undressed and show merlin his birthday suit

- i honest to god thought that was where he was going, but no, he was just getting something from behind it

- “tonight you’ll be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of camelot” IT'S A FUCKING DRESS ISN'T IT

- aw damn id have preferred a dress

- that smile shared between them was the most adorable scene

- god

- i

- fucking

- love

- their

- smiles

- sm

- best thing ive ever seen

- i mean… hunty look at that piece of glistening butter beauty

- wow ok back to the episode:

- bros being bros and giving each other a handshake to destroy the mortal enemy pack and put together a family, we stan.

- as if a servant who has only had eye sex with another servant ONCE would trust them enough to say that one of the chalices were poisoned. like??? “ur the only one i could tell” LMAO NO?

- she's a sly fucking dog tfbh

- “if he kills arthur, uthers soul will be broken and camelot will fall” at this rate uther prob wouldn't care if his son dies or not, look at him, he's already mentally broken. he has anxiety and paranoia over magic. child services where u at in the medieval ages?

- i wouldn't believe a word she said, or well, id have believed it was poisoned but id say yeah no damn way you aren't in on it if you know which one it is. bayard wouldn't tell a fucking servant.

- HE'S GONNA SNAP ISN'T HE

- MERLIN FUCKING SNAPPED

- yknow what we say here folks? U DO U MERLIN

- okay i was fine if uther made bayard drink it but like the moment uther said “mmmh… no.” and slowly turned to merlin i think my arteries just crunched together and died so

- “if it is poisoned, he’ll die” HE'S FUCKING SCARED MERLIN WILL PASS AWAY ISN'T HE?

- “it's fine” he says, then starts to fucking choke

- ah fuck he's down

- my boy is down

- FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW

- ARTHUR CROUCHES NEXT TO HIM LIKE “BB NO”

- lmfao bayard looks so shocked, his face is in disbelief and confusion, he's like who tf done me bad

- arthurs carrying merlin fireman style this is what i live for folks

- did like nobody notice the flower stuck on the inside of the cup? like honestly if you take a sip you’d kinda spot it or perhaps even the person pouring the drinks would have been “is this chamomile tea? no? then what the fuckery-doo is this leaf in here for?” yknow. it's like that scene in Matilda when the angry buff lady completely missed a fucking salamander in her cup when it was the size of her bloody hand. it brings out the same mood honestly

- does gaius have an index for these books or does he just have every page memorised and know exactly what page to go bc I FUCKING NEED THAT it would make bio so much easier if i knew what page it was on instead of looking back and forth from the homework sheet to my textbook, then closing it by accident and having to find the index again for that specific page i need

- arthur wants to fucking go on a life-or-death journey to save merlin i've never been so happy

- this is honestly my favourite episode, like it may be really fucking angsty but i love it so much

- arthur betrays his dad and leaves his room even after being told not to just so he can save a servants life is literally my new moto

- NO IT WON'T LOAD MY NETFLIX IS STUCK ON 99%

- okay so while i'm waiting for my shit to load, i just discovered the new fucking tumblr rule starting dec 17 and i'm like 0.2 inches away from just spamming NSFW pics on here just for laughs

- like hunty, that won't stop people from posting elsewhere or for thinking about sex bc like??? whatchu gonna do tumblr?? get the fbi to erase it from our minds

- i think nOT thot

- watch me get flagged for just using the fucking term “NSFW”

- i'm gonna end up asterisking everything (is asterisking a word? wow it has red under it so like probably not but i just added it to my dictionary so uhh it is now)

- by asterisking i dont mean furry kin shit ew no

- i mean like N*FW, s*x, t*mblr, m*rthur

- god it took me like 20 minutes to calibrate my fucking wifi and fix the connection problem

- wow the stage for the poison increased by 75% in 30 mins, damn

- merlins like like having a conniption on his bed lmao, chanting arthurs name and sweating lot

- do we ever find out how uther gets that scar bc i'm like 100% positive arthur was a little child and swayed his fucking sword too hard just as uther rounded the corner. the sword then collided into his fucking brain and destroyed a good part of his intelligence, targeting especially his morals on how to accept people and how to be a good father

- that’s my theory

- merlin starts talking enchantments in his sleep while gwens watching, and gaius is just there like wtf merlin ur blowing ur cover “oh! gwen!! uhhh sorry. he’s just... in a latin study group in his pastime and has an oral presentation in minutes”

- omg, nimueh, stfu

- i didn't know dinosaurs existed back then, this reptile be whack

- y’know what's funny? ppl thinking dinosaurs didn’t exist. i find creationism very very very intriguing bc how fucking stupid could you be

- that sword throw was faker than my moms tits

- arthur could have done better

- k but like what if merlin’s hand wasn’t under the covers? like he was just throwing that blue ball around right in front of gwen

- can arthur like not hear her? nimuehs literally enchanting the rocks right behind his ear lobes and arthur acts nothing of it until those said rocks collapse and he gasps and suddenly he realises shes evil

- also his fucking hair in this scene looks glorious. perhaps bc it's pushed back rather than his bowl cut, but its doing things to my abdomen

- i thought for a second she was pulling off her mask to say “nimueh” and arthur was gasping bc he only recognised her after her hair was shown, just like in that scene with joker and harvey in the hospital

- OH RIGHT THE SPIDERS I LIKE COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THOSE SONS OF A GUNS

- i’d be dead if those spiders came crawling up to eat me lmfao

- k so nimueh went from :) to >:D in half a second

- i'm smelling up those symbolisms, boys

- watch out pals cause here are some of them:

- merlin is the LIGHT of arthur’s life

- he LIGHTS up the party

- he gives arthur a BRIGHTER future

- he's the GUIDE for his path

- hahhahahaha

- i'm serious when i say i have a huge fear of insects (spiders count in that too, no discrimination) so i'm just putting that there, saying to yall id be fucking terrified

- gaius would be so confused, like we don't see his face here but merlins close-up sweaty concentrated frown, but he’s literally just screaming “ARTHUR!!” “FASTERRR!!” “YESS!!” “CLIMB!!!” gaius would be looking like he walked into something he wasn't supposed to. prob thinking he should just let the kid die so he doesn’t have to deal with this shit anymore

- UTHER LOCKED HIS SON AWAY I'M FUCKING QUESTIONING HIS PARENTING SKILLS

- that's grounding???? throwing ur child in prison???

- yes 999 can i have child services on his ass

- gwens so smart honestly i love her

- pretending to be a maiden for the food, god what a queen

- arthur buying it and saying “yuck you say this is food?! disgustang!”

- the fact that i misspelled disgusting but it autocorrected to disgustang (which is originally what i wanted but autocorrect shouldn’t have known) makes me consider if i should really check my dictionary…. who knows what words are on there

- they’re so smart

- and then this fucker ruins it all while eating his food, checking her out and saying yeah arthurs a prick, hyuck hyuck, realising only that wait fuck u aint the maiden

- how’d they know GWEN was the one not supposed to have delivered the food, what if it was that chick right there???

- welll….. maybe it's because gwen took her sweet time up those steps, staring as if she couldn’t blink at the guards below

- i forget what happens at the end of this episode besides the kiss, and there's like 9 minutes left my fingers may rot at this point

- wake him up! wake him up!

- OH WAIT HE DOESN'T FUCKING WAKE UP DOES HE AND EVERYONE PANICS

- YEAH OKAY I'M SEEING THAT NOW

- MERLIN STOPPED BREATHING

- LMAO GWEN IS IN TEARS

- “HE'S DEAD” SHE SAYS

- ARTHUR BB COME IN HERE TO KISS UR HUBBY ALIVE

- OH WAIT UR IN FUCKING PRISON

- WAIT UP, HE'S ALIVE AND SHE KISSES HIM AFTERWARDS????

- FUCK ME I THOUGHT FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE THE KISS HAPPENED BC HE COULDN'T WAKE UP THAT'S FUCKING WITH ME I DIDN'T KNOW

- i keep forgetting to switch up the cap locks, sorry if it seems im screaming im legit using my inside voice for most of the time just emphasizing my words a little more

- goddamn, everytime they say mercia i just think of “murica”, like those americans on the 7th of july or whatever date the “we love our country” day is, chanting it as they throw around beers and fireworks as people gather round in jerseys or crop tops

- it's not that hard to spot the european on here

- the most celebrated holiday here which contains a lot of beers and big pub gatherings (besides every fucking night honestly) is either new years, lowkey stereotypically correct saint patricks, and ig easter monday but that's more for the kiddos

- i mean ofc christmas and all that shit but im not the most devoted christian, i just like presents and small gatherings among good friends

- wow okay it wasn't the 7th of july

- i mean at first i looked up “USA day” (i couldn’t remember the name) and it popped up today’s date, and i was like no thats not it at all. dec?? its in like july i think. and i was close! it was july 4th.

- uther damn knows it's nimueh!!!

- i mean, he just overheard morgana and arthur talk about it, and initiated himself into a convo about it once morgana left, as his sneaky ass just slithered up like “hey man, u know that woman? yeah uhh, what she say? anything about me? no? k i know who it is tho”

- i thought he was going to apologize or like explain to arthur what's the sitch, but he just waits for five whole seconds before saying. “those who practice magic know only evil. they despise and seek to destroy goodness wherever they find it.”

- arthur, confused: sounds as if you know her

- uther, walking away: i do

- arthur:

- wow k lots of fucking quotes here cause it's the merthur reunion

- get ready babs

- arthur: still alive then?

- merlin: oh yes, just about… i understand i have you to thank for that

- arthur, leaning on the chair merlin is sitting in, stifling a smile: ah it's nothing, a half-decent servant is hard to come by. i was only dropping by to make sure you’re alright… i.... expect you to be back to work tomorrow

- merlin, watching arthur as he slightly walks away having embarrassed himself: arthur... thank you

- arthur, slowly: you too

- they stare for like 5 whole seconds

- arthur, uncomfortable: well… get some rest

- there we go folks: my eulogy.

- hope someone reads it at my funeral

#merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #s1 #s1ep4

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galimatios · 7 years ago

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fear thy fortune chatlog notes

thinking abt the underdeveloped au i have in that weird off color fantasy universe that i realized is probably similar in ways to bloodborne even before i knew abt bloodbornes plot but this is nice bc i can solidify parts of it and i can probably also combine it with the knights au i have

OK I FORGOT TO PUT A CW HERE BUT CW FOR ABUSE MENT AND GORE MENT

somewhere located in present day west asia slash east europe theres a country divided into numerous states in which princes and princesses (princex (poc)/princen/etc for gender neutral options) are perpetually in contest with eachother for the right to be the divine ruler of the country

monarchy is not guided by blood, rather the church is responsible for finding the chosen candidates via prophecy, fururesight, dream interpretation, etc, and these kids are taken from their homes and reared as royalty the nature of this country is ... severe. pain is a gift, proof that one is alive. much ceremony is based in sacrifice, bloodspill, bloodsports, and pain endurance. magic as practiced by the church is extremely powerful in terms of healing so almost all wounds can be healed provided the heart still beats its essentially one big huge freakish cult of a country that has customs that seem barbaric to outsiders

the divine ruler of each state is the princens, though more often than not their councils do most of the governing with the princen merely being a puppet figurehead. they go through rigorous training to sharpen their minds and endurance against all types of pain, so training includes physical, mental, emotional trials in which the princen is supposed to keep a clear mind, concentrate on mediation or some mantra, bearing whatever is thrown at them. additionally they receive the best training in both combat and politics as well as magic. not all princen can withstand the requirements ofc so they.. vary quite a bit in terms of stability/constitution. its a p sick system even without the knights added in bc thats super messed up

the knights essentially belong to their princens in heart body mind and soul, and each princen receives exactly one knight soulbound to them. they also undergo the same scouting process once the princen is identified, and they undergo similar training except theyre also essentially brainwashed into believing their entire purpose in life is to serve and protect their princen no matter what. obviously this aint healthy! knights delude themselves into it so hard theyll fight for the system that literally abuses them! but thats how cults work

that being said knights are extremely powerful. they act as the sole bodyguard of their princen and believe me you dont want to get inbetween a knight and their prince. they are known especially for their brutality when their lords are threatened. it is extremely common for limbs to be lost in skirmishes btwn assailants and a knight

this takes us to the games! which are essentially gladiator coliseum type bloodsport contests between knights of different princens. its a pretty big affair like how the Olympics are for us so the fanfare the cheering the everything is all there i prob dont need to describe it in detail but its very violent. its considered practice for the knights before the true battle-royale type event thats even BIGGER bc it determines who becomes god-king of the country. this time the princen join their knights in the battlefield and basically whoever is left standing is the new king

is it worth it? probably not bc i think being king actually means being killed to be sent up to the heavens bc god kings dont need bodies any longer in truth the entire debacle is a distraction set up by the church to keep the country under its own control. its super corrupt. the council behind every princen is actually made up of high ranking church members that convene regularly to manipulate the politics of the region

but thats mostly the governing sphere of this world. the commonfolk are removed from most of this violence aside from the indoctrination by the church and the messed up religion they practice. a lot of the belief system here relies on this concept of karma and fate over free will. fate is oppressive, cannot be changed, but god do they try that belief ties into how princen and knights are fated to be pairs, how princen are fated to either ascend to godhood or die trying

but there is one way to manipulate fates in this world there exists in independent of the church a monastery that practices the art of transferring karma. think of karma as a type of currency that can be spent, saved, used, etc. lots of good karma may be distributed amongst loved ones via a ritual headed by a monk, or bad karma can be "paid off" essentially. the amount of good/bad karma a person has directly affects their fortune and luck. this practice is more or less outlawed by the church but the monastery is slowly gaining power over the commonfolk and the church mostly leaves the poor folk to rot anyway- their agenda mostly concerns the monarchy

altho i can definitely see tensions rising with the witch hunting as influenced by the church. particularly nefarious visions may result in blame being thrown around and commoners getting killed for crimes they have yet to commit and thats thanks to the teachings of the church

anyway as of rn though the monastery is still pretty small but it is an old, ancient organization with magic that runs far deeper than the magic of the church. it is a much more subtle magic- monks practice little offensive magic (they are a nonviolent sort anyway) but the ability to exchange karma is rare and has far more reaching impact in the long run i imagine they have strongholds further to the east but anyway theres one trump card the monastic order has

a subsection of the order is dedicated to the keeping of miracles. and miracles are... monsters! they are semi-physical manifestations of literal suffering and the sheer emotional energy provided by them is enough to give miracles the power to.. well. perform miracles.

when a person dies in anguish, there is a chance that their bodies will not decompose the way they are meant to. instead they slowly dissipate, bodies turning coal black and ashen to the touch. these cannot be disposed of the normal way (curses, contamination, all kinds of horrible things happen) so instead these corpses get locked up inside brick cells within the monastery

once, one of these was opened only to reveal that the bodies were gone- only a humming, massive shadow that seemed to move as if made of flies or soot combined. and it spoke, too. this was the first miracle created it was discovered then that these creatures had immense power but could not leave the rooms they were imprisoned in, touch sunlight, and similarly they could not die

imagine like the witchs nightmares in pmmm and you get what its like to be a soul trapped in a miracle. u get to relive ur worst fears and regrets forever. it suck miracles also cannot direct their powers towards their own will, only the will of others. ofc they are still monsters and exact a price for their services, whatever it may be.

a meeting with a miracle does not come cheap or without consequence, bc although miracles can be performed, karma always rebalances itself in the end. monks tasked with guarding and curating the miracles are called gatekeepers and are often someone close to one of the souls trapped in the vortex anyway i think thats the basics of everything in there... i got an au w cyrus as a prince and alex as his knight and instead of sticking around for their inevitable deaths the pair run off into the countryside far far away

actually i think something went wrong in the ceremony. cyrus and alex win godkingship of then... something goes wrong. probably the whole die-to-ascend thing is a secret kept from the princen and the public and. alex does a thing a knight should not do a refuses to let the ceremony continue. and im p sure as soon as cyrus learns of the truth hes like haha well fuck that

then they spend the rest of their days actually experiencing what life is like outside of a freakish cult and my fucking feels

i think.. meanwhile the monastic order grows in influence and power making them the enemy of the church... and jonah (yonah in this au) sacrifices himself to the miracle containing his brother in order to give the miracle a corporal form. which means august and company now have a physical conduit for all that power they had.

bad news for the church! bc august was unrightfully killed bc of a prophecy saying that hed become a huge threat and a killer

funny how prophecies work!

so now hes out for blood and he probably uses his own charisma and power to stage a coup against the church and basically the country goes to hell and i think at this point cyrus thinks. i got out of there alive. i need to do something about this. so he and alex probably join in and become arbiters of the game esp since cyrus and alex were probably the best synced, most skilled prince/knight duo the church had seen up to that date so theyre very powerful. ofc theyre still only two people so i really wonder how theyll step in btwn these two opposing parties

augusts side isnt good either bc august... is only out for revenge and self interest. he has no interest in fixing the country or helping anyone in fact once august is firmly seated on the throne of power he probably declares himself god-king anyway the end game probably looks like augusts body (which is jonahs body) being destroyed and the miracle contained in it finally put to rest jonahs soul must have something to do with the exorcism process- theyve tried to exorcise miracles before and only ended up upsetting it into violent outbursts anyway thats enough rambling from me time to paste this all into a blog post

god what if august picked keith to be his knight. thats messed up. keiths so easy to manipulate and hed be such a wildcard of a knight. he has more magic potential than alex and hes faster on his feet. im imagining bloodlust frenzy almost hyena-like behavior. also i mostly just want to see keith being violent and evil and i have an outfit in mind that would look great with a little splash of red

think like minimalistic ouji but like all black and keith with knives and serving a clearly twisted (even more than usual bc of the miracle’s influence) august

god even better the aftermath of augusts death TIME FOR THE FUCKING FEELS TO KICK IN BC now Keith has no purpose/he FAILED to protect his king WHICH WAS HIS ONLY PURPOSE IN LIFE then alex coming in with cy and just no, you have inherent worth. what happened wasn't right im upset this is how alex and keith become family in this au

miracles i think in this case are definitely more of a means to an end i think narratively ie jonahs brother being killed and augusts soul being trapped within it- tho i think its a good tie-in into how the severe paranoid cultish way the society works ends up producing a lot of People Dying In Extreme Anguish

almost a buildup of sickness so to say.. a plague of the soul that's a cool avenue to go down tbh the idea that miracles are more like viruses spreading misfortune in the long run for some quick gain in this life but bc karma always collects her debts if i throw in some nice reincarnation that would effectively damn someone in their next life... that implies that this story may need to expand across different generations

mechanics being so much bullshit has happened in this country it houses multiple miracles whereas elsewhere its like one, or none, very few in their histories except possibly during wartime and famine

since magic is Exists in this it makes sense that the emotional energy combined w ambient energy would manifest in some kind of grotesque Being

oh no thats maybe why the church is manipulating things by purposely generating that emotional trauma in its society its producing unprecedented amounts of energy they can utilize as magic power oh no thats super bad august would definitely take advantage of that bc hed definitely figure the truth out once hes back to being alive

im upset bc i think they use princens and knights to specifically create emotional energy

energy released upon death which typically happens after a knight/prince duo has been chosen... then the resulting STRONG ass char plague on their bodies are collected to make artifacts? yes

gems created from the ashen plague are embedded into a huge mandala that actually ... is the god-king itself

#notes #worlds #fear thy fortune #abuse ment #gore ment #// this is pasted from a chatlog lmao

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kardemomme-kisses-archive · 7 years ago

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i've seen a lot of ur ideas on characters like sana isak and vilde but is there something extra u can say abt eva's underrated character? is there any special moments you really liked with her, is there any part of her characterization that you could talk on and on about? i rrly like eva and i hardly ever seen in depth convos abt her character or even just a few gifs that show the complexity of her character

I feel you anon, I feel you. There can never be enough discussion about her (and sadly, there usually isn’t which is more than a little perplexing to me seeing as she’s such a multi-dimensional character with a fully fledged arc who undergoes tremendous growth and imparts so many significant messages).

More under the cut because apparently I am not familiar with the meaning of brevity.

So, let’s talk about Eva Kviig Mohn. Eva, who started this series feeling so soul-crushingly lonely, with a boyfriend who as much as I love him when it came to his priorities back in their first year he wasn’t very attentive to her and her wishes. It always felt like there was this invisible line between her and Jonas’s friends whenever they were in the same room, a line she never fully crossed because she was never really integrated into their group. And really, this was all Eva wanted back then - a place to belong, to be a part of something, friends to have sleepovers with and share secrets and hushed confessions, maybe drink a little too much and dance together under bright lights and swirling colours. Even more so, she wanted the warmth of someone’s arm around her shoulders when she was feeling stressed about her grades plummeting, terrified that she could feel the boy she fell for slipping away from her so cold inside that big old empty house …And the worst part about Eva’s situation is that she did have that once, and it went so much deeper beyond just hanging out together. Not when ingrid befriended Eva accepted her into her circle and stood up for her during a very difficult period in her life. Eva lost that the day she picked Jonas over Ingrid and I think that a part of hers will always be plagued by self doubt because was this really the right decision? Has she ruined this friendship for good? What if she’ll never have anything like that again?

Let’s talk about Eva and one of the first friendships she built after picking herself up from the ground from one of her lowest points and daring to reach out and start again. A friendship that started as a whirlwind because when Noora barged into Eva’s life so fierce and strong and self-assured, so unapologetic and unafraid to be herself , it must have felt like the answer to everything Eva was looking for. Noora’s independence and courage to stand up for what she believed must have been so desirable to eva who was a little lost within herself back then, wonderful admirable Noora who was everything Eva did not feel she could ever become and everything she wished she would be… Eva might have put her on a pedestal in the beginning of their friendship but the way it evolved so organically, with her discovering that Noora was everything but infallible, with her own very real vulnerabilities was what really brought them even closer together and provided some of the warmth that had been missing from both of their lives before. They learnt so many things from each other and this helped them gradually grow out of their own insecurities and become the version of themselves they are today.

Let’s talk about Eva and the trait of hers I find the most admirable: her bravery and maturity, as demonstrated by the way she approached her relationships with Jonas and Ingrid. Let’s talk about a relationship so full of innocence and the quiet optimism of a first love which was ultimately brought down because they were both so focused on trying to maintain this ideal, the dream, the perfect romance,a world where everything was viewed through rose tinted glasses,that when the cracks started to appear they would rather pretend they were not there. And those issues that had been undermining the foundations of their relationship from the very start could indeed not be washed away, not even by the genuine love between them. Most importantly they never learned how to communicate and establish trust since they never had enough faith in each other to stay and work through a conflict and neither of them really knew how to compromise. Thus in the end they became their own worst enemy, which is something that Eva saw and in one of the most mature decisions anyone in this show has ever made took the first step towards a healthier future because she realised that they coudn’t grow while they were still together and holding each other back. This scene sent such an important message because eva's journey towards self-agency and self-discovery is such an indispensable part of life in general and of the teenage experience more specifically, sincee at this age where the matter of forming an identity comes into the forefront for the first time with such an intensity it is very easy to fall into the trap of defining yourself strictly within the confines of pre-existing or newly formed relationships. Even more importantly, a relationship can be unhealthy for you even if there is still so much love on both sides and this does not get addressed enough sadly. But here it was. It was and Eva handled it in the most beautiful way.

Let’s talk about Eva and the tremendous courage she showed when she confronted Ingrid and in that moment faced all the fears shame and guilt that had been haunting her for months. How in one of the most emotional moments in that season when she expressed how she wishes she had done things with jonas differently but she can’t keep feeling guilty her whole life she refused to let the shame and the guilt over past actions consume her, acknowledged her past mistakes with full clarity, chose to reconcile with everything that happened and actively decided to channel the remorse into moving on and focusing on self improvement and doing better in the future.

Let’s talk about Eva and one of the most underrated scenes in her season which I seldom see discussed, if at all. “Everyone’s like what kind of person are you? You have to know who you are. What a fucking cliche!” is one of the most important things she’s ever said for me. I feel like the way everyone always stresses about how adolescence is supposed to be the age that everyone should discover and define their identity puts a lot of pressure on teens and this moment stresses out that it is alright to feel a little lost within yourself and it is alright for someone to take this journey at their very own pace or not at all until they feel emotionally ready for it. Self exploration is an ongoing procedure which never really ends nor is it constrained by age limits and feelings of uncertainty are an absolutely natural part of it which is something this scene showcased beautifully.

Lastly, let’s talk about one of Eva’s strongest features : her heart, her capacity for infinite compassion and forgiveness. And I can think of no other way to do so other than talk a bit about her friendship with Isak. Truly, there have always been heaps of understanding and forgiveness between them, even when isak's actions drive a wedge in the foundations of their bond. Eva has always been nothing but compassionate and patient towards him and it’s a true testament to her character that even when she didn't know the cause of his betrayal she mostly felt hurt and confused rather than scornful and resentful. Moreover, once she discovered the true source of his lashing out her stance shifted as well because there have never been any lingering traces of bitterness or anger ever since then.Of course that is in part due to her own emotional maturity and clarity when it came to her own responsibility in the fallout of her relationship, but also she is one of the few people who truly saw isak in that moment, the only one who saw his struggle and recognised his strife. It is a feeling very familiar to her after all, because she used to be in a very similar spot - losing sight of herself, being plagued by insecurity and guilt, having alienated and hurt her own friends in the process. She knew this is a journey he has to take on his own, so she would be there in the end waiting for him. And when he went through his own path of self discovery and reconciliation with himself, when he was finally ready to take that first step reach out acknowledge what he had done and try to make amends, she was already there with a soft smile and an accepting heart. Eva is absolutely the kind of person to take joy in her friends' happiness and this Isak - Isak who was finally confident and in peace with every part of himself - was glowing with contentment. In that moment all the space she had ever granted him was worth it and the look she gave him was full of pride and kindness.

So there she is. Eva Kviig Mohn. A brave girl, a caring girl, a girl who has been through so much but never lost her courage or her smile. A girl who wasn’t afraid to make difficult decisions, a girl who was lost but managed to rediscover herself. There she is, the girl we all recognise a part of ourselves in, having found a new second family, surrounded by laughter music and colours, people who genuinely care about her and came to celebrate with her when she threw her birthday party, people she brought together from the most unlikely places and who will never let her feel alone again. Her story is one of self growth and acceptance, of finding your place in a world that is often too demanding, unforgiving and cold and I really wish it got more attention than it does because it captures the essence of some of the most important and difficult years in our lives and it really deserves to be heard.

#THIS TURNED OUT TO BE 1670 WORDS HOLY HELL I'M SCREAMING #anon I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted #also I did not edit this so forgive any mistakes that i made inside #i will edit it in the morning #i think this is everything I've ever talked about when it comes to her #and i'm a bit bitter that the rest of the seasons didn't provide any additional dimensions to her character the way her own season did #ah well #asks #meta #character study #eva kviig mohn #Anonymous

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stacks-reviews · 7 years ago

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Must Reads Part 9

Happy Friday! I’m posting this a few hours later than I usually do. I’ve been distracted by my missing cat. But! This week we have a lonely alien sent to observe Earth, apocalyptic London(s), a haunted home, and more!

--The Chanegling by Victor LaValle “Apollo Kagwa has had strange dreams that have haunted him since childhood. An antiquarian book dealer with a business called Improbabilia, he is just beginning to settle into his new life as a committed and involved father, unlike his own father who abandoned him, when his wife Emma begins acting strange. Disconnected and uninterested in their new baby boy, Emma at first seems to be exhibiting all the signs of post-partum depression, but it quickly becomes clear that her troubles go far beyond that. Before Apollo can do anything to help, Emma commits a horrific act - beyond any parent’s comprehension - and vanishes, seemingly into thin air. Thus begins Apollo’s odyssey through a world he only thought he understood to find a wife and child who are nothing like he’d imagined. His quest begins when he meets a mysterious stranger who claims to have information about Emma’s whereabouts. Apollo begins a journey that takes him to a forgotten island in the East River of New York City, a graveyard full of secrets, a forest in Queens where immigrant legends still live, and finally back to a place he thought he had lost forever.”

Was mainly drawn to this title because of the places that Apollo will visit. Especially the graveyard and the forest full of immigrant legends. I’m guessing that Emma might have some kind of magical background or that her and the baby are changelings. I read a little of the preview on Goodreads. The first few chapters looks all like setup. First chapter follows Apollo’s mother and how she met her husband to how he suddenly disappeared. Second follows Apollo as a twelve-year old and how he starts up Improbabilia.

--Down Station by Simon Morden “A small group of commuters and tube workers witness a fiery apocalypse overtaking London. They make their escape through a service tunnel. Reaching a door they step through...and find themselves on a wild shore backed by cliffs and rolling grassland. The way back is blocked. Making their way inland they meet a man dressed in wolf’s a cloak and with wolves by his side. He speaks English and has heard of a place called London - other people have arrived here down the ages - all escaping from a London that is burning. None of them have returned. Except one - who travels between the two worlds at will. The group begin a quest to find this one survivor; the one who holds the key to their return and to the safety of London. And as they travel this world, meeting mythical and legendary creatures, split between North and South by a mighty river and bordered by The White City and The Crystal Palace they realize they are in a world defined by all the London’s there have ever been.”

The description reminds me of A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab with the whole multiple London’s and having at least one person who can travel between these London’s at will. Though this one sounds like there is more than four London’s. Though I suppose they could all be from the same universe but each being a different London that was created after the world ended, since this is an apocalyptic story. And maybe the world they are transported to is all those London’s that ended are brought here and formed a new reality. Maybe. Or it could always be something like the Avatars series by Tui T. Sutherland. Where a select group of people are ‘saved’ from the apocalypse only to realize they are reincarnations of ancient gods in a fight to the death to determine which group will be the ones to rule for the next millenia and then do it all over again the next time the world ends.

--Everyone's an Aliebn When Ur a Aliebn Too: A Book (graphic novel) by Jomny Sun “The illustrated story of a lonely alien sent to observe Earth, only to meet all sorts of creatures will all sorts of perspectives on life, love, and happiness, all while learning to feel a little better about being an alien - based on the enormously popular Twitter account, @jonnysun. Here is the unforgettable story of Jomny, a lonely alien who, for the first time ever, finds a home on our planet after learning that earthlings can feel lonely too. Jomny finds friendship in a bear tired of other creatures running away in fear, an egg struggling to decide what to hatch into, an owl working its way to being wise, a tree feeling stuck in one place, a tadpole coming to terms with turning into a frog, a dying ghost, a puppy unable to express itself, and many more. Through this story of a lost, lonely and confused alien finding friendship, acceptance, and love among the creatures of Earth, we will all learn how to be a little more human. And for all of us earth-bound creatures here on this planet, we can all be reminded that sometimes, it takes an outsider to help us see ourselves for who we truly are.”

This is probably my favorite on this list. It just sounds amazing and beautiful.

--Julia Vanishes (Witch's Child series #1) by Catherine Egan “Julia has the unusual ability to be...unseen. Not invisible, exactly. Just beyond most people’s senses. It’s a dangerous trait in a city that has banned all forms of magic and drowns witches in public Cleansings. But it’s a useful trait for a thief and a spy. And Julia has learned - crime pays. Her latest job is paying very well indeed. Julia is posing as a housemaid in the grand house of Mrs. Och, where an odd assortment of characters live and work: A disgraced professor who sends her to fetch parcels containing bullets, spiders, and poison. An aristocratic houseguest who is locked in the basement each night. And a mysterious young woman who is clearly in hiding - though from what or whom? Worse, Julia suspects that there’s a connection between these people and the killer leaving a trail of bodies across the frozen city. The more she learns, the more she wants to be done with this unnatural job. To go back to the safety of her friends and fellow thieves. But Julia is entangled in a struggle between forces more powerful than she’d ever imagined. Escape will come at a terrible price.”

Really excited for this because of the description of book two, Julia Defiant. So some spoilers here about Julia’s powers. Starting now. So scroll quickly if you don’t wanna read it. When she vanishes it appears she steps into ‘a place just just out of sight’ but now when she vanishes it is like she steps into another world. One that fiery and hellish. Full of creatures who somehow recognize her and think of her as one of their own. “So...is Julia a girl with a monster lurking inside her? Or a monster wearing the disguise of a girl?”

--Mapping the Interior by Stephen Graham Jones

"Walking through his own house at night, a fifteen-year-old thinks he sees another person stepping through a doorway. Instead of the people who could be there, his mother or his brother, the figure reminds him of his long-gone father, who died mysteriously before his family left the reservation. When he follows it he discovers his house is bigger and deeper than he knew. The house is the kind of wrong place where you can lose yourself and find things you’d rather not have. Over the course of a few nights, the boy tries to map out his house in an effort that puts his little brother in the worse danger, and puts him in the position to save them...at terrible cost.”

This is a novella so the print edition only has around 112 pages. Regardless, this sounds really good. I read about half of the preview that is up on Goodreads. The main character never tells us his name but on one page his mother calls him Junior, as he is named after his father. Which I have this feeling we won’t know what his fathers name was until near the end of the novella. As part of a big reveal. But we start with Junior waking up in his living room after sleep walking to see the figure pass through a doorway. Who he believes to be his father and we learn a little bit about him. How his father used to want to a dancer in pow-wows back on the reservation (as told to Junior by his aunts) but as an adult he didn’t speak their tribes language, didn’t know any of the stories or songs. Then we learn about his brother Dino. How he is having some trouble learning lately, sometimes stares into the distance, and occasionally suffers from seizures. I don’t know if this figure will end up being their father or if their house is just haunted and is trying to posses Dino. I’m not even sure if this figure will actually end up being real or if it will represent something more like the Monster in A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness or the hornets in The Nest by Kenneth Oppel. Either way, I’m already spell bound by what I read in the preview.

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