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bfiaflbox · 1 year ago

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So this is how it starts - Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Pairing: Matty x original female character

Warnings: drinking, smoking, swearing; mentions of: misoginy, cancer (in the past), infertility

Disclaimer: some of what the ofc is experiencing is rooted in my lived reality, however I lie for plot purposes a lot. I draw inspiration from things that I read somewhere or that actually happened to me or my friends. It's not proof read and English is my second languageso there's either too many commas or not enough commas.

Further disclaimer: yes I know it's not *that* hard to wrap a pan, it's very hard however to make it look nice...

"So you and Matty hit it off last night" it's not a question.

I'm on the phone with Carly after a "call me when you get this" message she sent me at 7am the following Saturday.

"Why would you think that??"

"Adam literally showed me the group chat where Matty called you "fit"" she laughs.

"Fucking hell, that sounds like we're back in year 9" I roll my eyes although she can't see it.

"Don't avoid the subject. What happened after you guys left for the tube station" she makes it sound like a conspiracy.

"We did just that. We went to the tube station and then home"

"I feel like you're leaving out *a lot* of details and one to three major plot points"

"fiiiine" i groan but have to laugh as well "it's ridiculous. Halfway down the road we decided to get another drink. We sat in a bar and talked until we were thrown out and then we went home"

"Liar"

"Not a lie" technically.

"Come oooon, I haven't been on a date in *ages*! I live vicariously through you" I hear Adam saying something in the background that I can't quite make out and they both giggle at something.

"I have to insist that this definitely wasn't a date and it really wasn't that exciting. Anyway, like I said, halfway down the road to the tube station Matty asked if I really wanted to go home or if I was up to get a drink with him. I said yes and so we went to a pub that was kind of crowded but we managed to get a seat at the bar. We talked about ... anything really. He thought it was kind of unfair that I had a pretty much clear Idea of what he does for a living and asked about being a tattoo artist and running a shop and all that. He told me about BJJ, I told him about growing up with five siblings. We got a bit drunk and I think at some point I kind of insulted him as "the queen of juxtaposition" or something, it was good fun...I think. Did I mention that we both were quite drunk? Fuck, I swear I made a proper fool out of myself."

"Yeah, you do that when you're drunk" Carly laughs.

"Thanks, I'm mortified... Well at some point he had to go to the toilet and some bloke thought he could take Matty's seat and chat me up. Next thing I know Matty's having a row with that guy and the bartender threw us out to prevent a pub fight."

"And there I was thinking you were thrown out because they were closing and you stayed that long because the conversation was just sooooo good" Carly interjects in a slightly mocking tone.

"Yeah, well, no. We had a laugh about it and went on to the tube station. Turned out he wasn't planning on taking the tube and just wanted to bring me. But yeah, that was it."

"Have you talked since?

"It's literally been nine hours and nope. I don't even have his number" fucking idiot not getting his number.

"Well that can be arranged, wait a sec"

My phone chimes with a message from Carly who just sent me Matty's contact info.

"Excuse you? You can't just give out personal information like that?!" I'm kind of glad she did though.

"Make it a good story at your guys' wedding and we're even"

////

Do I text or call? Text or call, text or call? I kind of want to hear his voice but I don't want to disturb hin in case he's in the middle of something. But calling is more personal, however, he doesn't even know I have his number and that's super creepy. Fuck, why is this so agonizing. Fuck it, I'll text him.

Me: Hey Matty, this is Hannah from last night. You know, the tall and pretty one :P Carly gave me your number in an act of rebellion against data security, hope you don't mind. Did you get home safe?

His answer comes in a matter of minutes.

Matty: Hello! Tall and pretty indeed. I did get home safe, although I feel like I should be the one asking you this.

Me: We're both alive and well it seems.

Matty: Good. Will you go on another date with me?

Me: What do you mean "another"?

Matty: Avoiding the question!

Me: Not avoiding, clarifying! but yes, I will go on a date with you.

Matty: Another! :)

Me: Seriously, is drunk shit talking and almost getting punched by some bloke your Idea of a date? That wasn't a proper date, my friend.

Matty: Who made you the Master of Proper Dates?

Me: Not you apparently

Matty: Also I would like to clarify that I do martial arts for self defense not to get into fights with random strangers.

Me: yeah keep telling yourself that

Matty: You're sassy, you know that?

Me: yeah, I do sometimes hang out with myself.

Matty: About that date... You free Friday?

Almost one whole week? My heart sinks a tiny little bit.

Me: yes, I'm free Friday.

Matty: Then it's a date. The second one.

Me: Serisously, that's such a weird hill to die on

///

On Sunday he sends me a picture of him in a park with Adam and Baby Hann and captions it: "Is it possible we have a favorite person in common?". I know he's referring to the child but I can't help but reply "I don't like Adam *that* much??" which earns me a bunch of laughing emojis.

///

On Monday I send him a photo of my super messy kitchen after trying to cook a halfway decent meal and caption it with "if one of your future date ideas involves cooking, I'm out" to which he replies: "A woman who doesn't love to cook? you will never make a man happy :P"

///

He calls me on Tuesday evening just as I'm in the middle of wrapping Christmas presents. "What are you up to at the moment?" he asks innocently enough.

"I'm trying to not lose my mind while gift wrapping?"

"For Christmas?? It's only the beginning of December!"

"And I hate Christmas shopping so each year I make one day at the beginning of December designated Christmas-present-day where I get all the gifts I need to get so I can relax for a whole year after that. Except for the part where I need to figure out how to wrap a pan"

"A pan?"

"Yeah you know the cooking thing. It's almost like a pot but..."

"I know what a pan is, woman" he laughs.

"It sounded like you wanted an explanation. I'm not judging, there are a lot of complicated words."

"you're such a menace. I meant why are you giving away pans for Christmas? that's a bit of a... weird gift?" he's still laughing.

„Hey, it's a nice pan and my sister-in-law asked for one, I’m not weird, I promise“

"I can't believe I'm asking this but do you want help wrapping gifts?"

"You mean now?"

"Yeah, I'm still at the studio but that's not too far from where you said you lived"

"Honestly, Matty, that would save my sanity and my evening"

"Cool, then I'm coming over"

"The place is a mess and tiny so don't expect much"

"Seriously, Hannah, you don't cook, you don't clean, what ever are you doing with your time??" his tone is obviously mocking.

"Be nice, I have a pan to hit you with if you get too cheeky"

"Uuuh, maybe I'm into that??"

"Please, don't be?"

We both laugh, I give him my address and we hang up.

An hour later I open the door to an overly excited Matty holding a bottle of red wine and grinning from ear to ear.

He hands me the bottle and adds "It sounded like you could use the moral support"

"Matty, I have to confess something to you" I say in a serious tone.

His expression changes and he furrows his brow. "What is it? Is everything ok?"

"I'm afraid I'm more of a white wine girly" I say with a mocking sad expression and a pout

"Pffffff, I thought you liked that Malbec the other day just fine"

"And I felt like a proper French philosopher drinking it"

"Fucking French philosopher" he laughs.

I lead him into the living room where the epitome of the gift wrapping mess is located and get two glasses from the kitchen. He pours the wine, takes a glass and looks around.

"Cosy" he nods

"Messy" I sigh

"Did you manage to wrap the pan?"

"Not yet"

"Why don't you just put it in a box and wrap that?"

"Thought of that, but I don't have a box that fits the fucking thing"

"Ok teamwork then" He takes a sip of the wine, puts his glass down on the coffee table, claps his hands and goes "what do you need me to hold?"

And that is how Matty and I end up on my living room floor, me giving instructions and cutting tape, him holding the paper in place, until it is finally done and the fucking pan is wrapped in paper.

"You could turn it upside down, draw a face on it and sell it as a duck"

"No more experiments, I'm just happy the fucking thing is wrapped in something"

We drink some more wine and wrap some more gifts although none of them prove to be as challenging as the pan.

"Hey will you help me wrap my gifts... later in December... when I actually manage to get something?" he asks and for a second he seems kind of shy

"Only if there's wine again"

"Just tell me which wine you like"

"Pinot Grigio"

"Whatever that is"

"You're the wine nerd??"

"I never said that!" he laughs.

His phone he had placed on the coffee table, before making himself comfortable on the floor, rings. I instinctively look and see the caller ID says "Denise".

"Oh sorry, I have to get that" he takes the phone and goes to my tiny kitchen.

I try not to follow the conversation which is kind of impossible in my rather small flat. He doesn't say much but I can make out a "looking forward to seeing you tomorrow" and that he ends the call with "love you".

My heart sinks. He has a girlfriend? Of course he has. That was to be expected when I think about it. He's handsome, successful, fills arenas with girls who love him... and on top of that he's funny and lovely. What a fool am I to believe he could ever be interested in me...

Matty comes back in the living room and just says "Sorry 'bout that"

"'s alright" I mumble. Yeah good job hiding your disappointment.

"Actually I probably should get going, it's getting late and you most likely have work tomorrow?"

"I do, yeah... Thanks so much for your help and the wine" I try my best at a fake smile.

"See you Friday?" he asks and I almost answer that no we won't see each other on Friday and that the date is off since he's obviously not single and I don't date men who aren't single, but I also don't want to explain to him that I kind of listened to a private conversation of his so I just choke out a "hmm yeah, see you Friday" before closing the door behind him.

Chapter 3

#matty fic #matty healy #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #the1975fanfic #matty healy x oc #Matty x oc #this is how it starts

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skelleste · 1 year ago

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2023 Art Summary

Some of the many things I worked on over the past 365 days. More details below.

Happy New Year!

Just like last year, 2023 was full of even more character art, including a brand spanking new OC. You haven't seen much of the comic yet, because it's not done, but there's been progress on that in the background as well. I also started commissions last March. None are featured in this post so I could focus more on original art, but I wanted to give a special thank-you to all my past commissioners. Not a single one of you were a customer service nightmare, in fact it was quite the opposite. I appreciate everyone who's been kind enough to give me work and treat me well.

The rest of this post is going to be some of my favorite pieces by month, and a little about them. I usually spare my followers from most details in my posts, because there's often not much of interest to the public to say, so this is mostly self indulgent.

January

I decided to revisit Tom and Maudlin, as I hadn't drawn them much since creating them. Whenever I make a new character of importance, I try to go out of my way to put them in varied poses and expressions so that I am able to understand how their bodies work by the time I need them for a real project. It's also a great way to explore their personalities, although I feel that I'll have to push Tom's emotional side more in the future.

February

Props for the comic! It sucks to have to design things on the fly, so it helps to have notable objects designed beforehand. Especially if it's important to the plot. Some of these appear in more panels than others, but it smooths out the comic process nevertheless to have ample references on hand.

March

More character designs to spare me from designing mid-comic production. If they don't have lines in the comic, then I ask random people to assign names to them to make it fun, and because it's easier to keep straight who's who when they're not named Man 1 and Man 2. Left to right, they are Johnifer (you can already see why I name the ones with dialogue myself), Wanda, Jean Vincent, Booker, Charles, Maribelle, and Gertrude.

April

It'd be silly of me to pretend as if 90% of my output isn't shitposts. When you dedicate most of your art time to a project, then you're not going to end up making any other art unless you satisfy primitive monkey brain somehow. In my case, that's usually addressed by drawing funny shit. Early this year is when I discovered how easy it is to crack jokes with Scatterbrain. This goofiness is now embedded into her personality permanently. Expect more of this.

May

April-June is when I do my Art Fight preppin', which usually consists of me making a list of my most neglected OCs and giving them some attention. I also try to get around to eventually making all of them a reference sheet in this style, just so they have something standardized between them. This year, Walla Walla had her turn. She's a shitpost character, so I won't be drawing her much again, but she's a good excuse to draw some J-fashion doodles. My interests outside of cartoon stupidity don't really make it into my art often, so she's a minor outlet for some of it.

June

I've made even more character designs this year than last year, but they were all background characters, making Raoul the only new important one. He's been officially-unofficially written into the story since 2022, but it's very hard for me to make OCs that are written before they are designed. Everyone else was designed first and assigned a role in the plot later, so he got put off for a good while. I finally got around to it though, after I killed some darlings. He is now an all-new species, and I modified the chain design to something less clunky compared to what would be historically accurate.

July

July is, of course, Art Fight month. All other art is put on pause. This year, my favorite attack was a drawing of Enchanted Bones for my friend Bugles. I drew the character independently from the background, which is why the lighting situation is as unfortunate as it is, but we don't talk about that. Thank you to everyone who attacked me and made awesome art, I'll revenge you maybe in a few years. Sorry for the wait, but the backlog is mighty long.

August

Stanson got a slight redesign in the last year, so he can fit with the style of the comic better. He's actually the oldest character out of the bunch. I had no purpose for Scott when I made him and threw them together in the same folder. I had a few one-off designs that I figured I'd keep around in case I ever did an OCT, but these two got yoinked out of it when I started getting story ideas for the them. Stanson is a cowboy (not really), so it became a western setting to make sense of it. I plan on giving him the same sketchpage treatment the other characters have gotten, but I've been putting it off purposely for a while. You'll just have to wait.

September

And there it is, the inevitable page of Raoul getting into various mischief (and subsequently getting his ass beat half of the time). He has a very abrasive personality that gets him into trouble. I don't want the comic to be heavily action-based, but he naturally lands himself in these positions and it lets me draw characters in new situations. His introduction to the story is still a long way off at this point, but I can't wait to pit him against Scott in some slapstick shenanigans.

October

Spooky month is incredibly busy for me in real life, so there isn't as much time for art as I'd like there to be. That's why I dedicated all my time that month to trying to get Halloween art done in time. I've been a fan of Homestar Runner since childhood, and as soon as I thought that Raoul would pull off a Jigen Daisuke look, I knew I wanted to do a full Homestar-esque set of costumes. The other ideas quickly fell into place. My version came out way more detailed than theirs usually are though. The spirit of Halloween possessed me.

November

I started going full gear on the comic around this time (I think 28 hours in one week when I stayed home), so there's an absence of polished personal art here. Scatterbrain eating some spaghetti is my placeholder art for "I worked on a website a bunch instead". It's far from done, but I've made major strides since then.

December

A secret santa gift for my friend, Toby! I continued doing mostly comic work, but I also made room for a secret santa and scheduled a bunch of art trades to complete between December and March. The rest still have to be completed, so you'll see that throughout 2024. Anyway, Toby's OC, Thomas, is based on the state of Michigan. I plastered him on a postcard in front of a highway sign with some Robins because they're the state bird.

There were many more drawings of course, and you can find them scrolling through my Tumblr, or on my DeviantART (I switched to Tumblr as my main site in late August). I hope the new year brings many improvements and happiness for everyone. Last year my goal was simply to start on the comic, which I did, but it was also to get it uploadable, which I didn't. I'm gonna have to aim for the same goal again. Life things were largely fine but still tumultuous enough to throw me off-course, but now my most dangerous family member has moved out and it should be somewhat safer to live here. Not 100% safe though. It never will be. I generally avoid talking about the comic extensively as I won't have a solid release date for some time, so this is the last you'll hear of it for now outside of the rare WIP screenshot. Wish me luck and have a wonderful new year!

#art #artists on Tumblr #Happy New Year #long post #art summary #2023 summary #summary of art #summary of art 2023

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parcy-anda-but-with-actual-posts · 6 months ago

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Smaugust Week 1 Smaugust Week 2 Smaugust Week 3 Smaugust Week 4 - you are here!

Day 22: Enchanted — I went more abstract with this one... you can't see the dragon for the shroud around it... nor can it escape. I'll update if I come up with something more concrete, but for now, this is it. Sorry this is a pretty slow start for week 4.

Day 23: Labyrinth — Combined with an overlay of yesterday's excuse of an entry. ;w; That there is a hexed chicken turned into a dragon and it haunts this hedge maze. >v<;; My brain's mush at this point, not a good sign. Let's see how tomorrow goes.

The plot thickens... turns out this cursed hedge-maze chicken is... the Final Boss (Day 24). I did a different color palette for this one, partially because I felt bad for defaulting to a foghorn-leghorn color scheme on the above. The background suffered a bit this round, but I really tried for a more dynamic dragon to make up for the past couple days. I like the sense of motion the radial blur gives, but it robs of some work I honestly put into things. ;w;

Afterthought... I should have opened this whole smaugust project with a disclaimer that I'm obscenely loose with my rules of what can be a dragon and have much, much too much fun hybridizing... this should be the end of the chicken-dragon, though. =v=; b

Day 25: Bioluminescence — Ah, the difference the weekend makes - I've felt significantly better about these last couple entries. >v<;; Have a dragon that's used to being considered drab and not conventionally pretty being comforted with the company of the shiniest. Per most of my dragons, there's some chimerification here, since I can't help myself. ^^;

Day 26: Fanart — Oof, and just like that, the work week strikes. It's just a sketch today - I bit off more than I could chew, exploring an alternative design for characters from an old children's show called Dragon Tales. Zak and Wheezie are the main focus, drawing inspiration from hognoses, while Ord, also featured is built around a beaded lizard in a screenshot redraw of this:

I took some liberties of course, since I was picking animals to inspire more detailed drawings of these guys, and also just went and gave Wheezie a look more so saying: "tf just happened?"

Day 27: Eclipse — Started overworking this and decided to stop - I wanted to do a lindwurm like creature coiled up in the night sky, and bathed in the light of a lunar Eclipse, almost becoming the lunar body itself? The concept was not very thoroughly planned. ^^'

Day 28: Chained — Another workday defeat (if the muse strikes, I may give this an honest retry without being confined to the tail end of my day), but I decided to try a small animation at the expense of any detail or drawing I'd be proud to share. ^^' A depressed cooped up little apartment dragon, looking out the room window before dropping its head, defeated and in tears... it's stuck somewhere, not chained physically, but definitely confined.

Day 29: Aurora — Phew - alrighty, overdid it on blurs and add glow effects, and not sure it's on point with the directions, but I wanted to have fun with this. >v<; Have a cosmic serpentine dragon that flies through the night sky with a body-length mane of shimmering lights. Another concept I wouldn't mind coming back to and putting more work into. ^v^

Day 30: Wood —I got carried away again, but liked the idea of another 'tree mimic', if we may? Or just a fantastical tree that looks vaguely draconic. >v<; Had trouble deciding between Cherry and Wisteria, I guess, and the colors/continuity for the backdrop got completely out of control. @v@; On the upside, I found different uses for that custom brush I made. X'D

Day 31: Mirrored — Okay - done with Smaugust, and some days were better than others, for sure, but I had fun! I went for a cutesy entry for the finish line. Played with bronze/patina tones for these two buddies, and kept it simple, aside from overdoing different brushes for texture. XD

#smaugust2024

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duochromium · 1 year ago

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hi who are your favourite touhou characters and why im mostly curious about the why

amazing question! the following list is in no particular order. wriggle does happen to be my favorite but it’s not by a huge margin or anything

first up we got wriggle herself. i’m gonna be honest the way i interpret her bears absolutely no resemblance to her canon character, but i think that the fandom has generally kind of adopted an interpretation of her that’s nothing like her in canon so i excuse it if everyone else does it.

why i like her? really cool design obviously the cape is really sick. what actually draws me to her though is mostly the fact that she’s a member of team 9. she’s basically just “kind of silly bug woman who’s really weird about bugs” which creates a lot of really funny relationships with other characters. i tend to write her as more of the “average person” of the group which also makes her relationship with mystia that write about a lot really fun because it’s just these two pranksters that are background characters from a story perspective and a life perspective (i mean they really are just random youkai). basically everything involving her is just… really casual, and fuzzy. she just doesn’t have a whole lot going on

also i get to write her being autistic about bugs which is really fun.

another one of my favorite characters is remilia, who i’ve only really had an excuse to write once. i go into way more detail about this in microsm chapter 6 but basically i just really love her contrasts. i like writing her as both childish and mature, both fearsome and welcoming, both powerful and vulnerable. it’s clear she does care very dearly for those in the mansion and i just love giving her a soft side where she does want the best for everyone, even if she looks evil. oh she eats people? god forbid women do anything

also because she’s a vampire who owns a badass huge western mansion. that’s so cool

in addition we have reimu, who i honestly just find to be a really nuanced character. i love writing her getting really existential about her life and getting worried about shit. i kind of project onto her sometimes but we’re not here to discuss that. she has a very interesting personality, fluctuating between stern or sad or determined or funny depending on even the slightest factors. being the main character she’s had the most actual stuff happen to her, she has the most story and has the most relationships with other characters. there’s really anything you can do with her, and if you can get her personality right then you can even make a good story out of her going on a walk. case in point: residual by me

the next ones i don’t really like for such complex reasons i’m not gonna lie

ran, who is probably my #2, is just a really nice character. it’s fun to write her being all motherly to chen, it’s fun to write her being a calculator for yukari, it’s fun to write about her being gay obviously, and i really like her character design. she’s just nice and i would definitely be friends with her if that were possible. i’m aroace but whatever the equivalent of a waifu is for aroaces? she’s that to me. i don’t wanna fuck her i just am obsessed with her non-romantically

lightning round:

i like sakuya because her time ability is really cool and it’s fun to write about this woman working herself to death. also bonus points because i love the sdm

aunn because she’s a really fucking funny dog

mystia because she’s a team 9 member too except she also does cooking and is in a band and i get to write her being gay with wriggle

kyouko because she’s really loud and also has a job at the temple and is also in a band

youmu because i like to imagine she has a huge inner conflict. read: any of my youmu x ran works

seija because she has so much potential to be a really interesting character, arguably even more than Reimu. i just haven’t wrote her because i still can’t get her character down

the entire palace of earth spirits because their family dynamic is absolutely hilarious and actually they’re all really funny characters even on their own

cirno because come on man it’s cirno

anyways that’s all the ones i’m obsessed with. i love all 2hus though

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a-flux-uchiha · 1 year ago

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Spent a month staring despairingly at these poses, and then spent like a week with my sister @whatevenisavalidname (who is far more experienced in art stuff) fixing them and actually finishing the art pieces. Ah the joys of art.

Details under a readmore so this doesn’t get out of hand.

Number 1

I actually finished this one last lol. It had remarkably few issues and I only needed a bit of help working out how the spider went. And making sure it looked right. It’s the only one where she’s on something instead of being in the air, fun. This one she has visible claws, so that’s fun. I started drawing the claws in at a later date so only a few of these have claws. We can say the ones that don’t have it were from before The Incident.

Number 2

This was the first one that got claws actually. Not too many comments on it other then it looks neat and the webbing was a pain. and the hands. Especially that back one. It turned out nice though, so I'm glad. So many pretty stars in the background. Very nice.

Number 3

I drew this one without assistance, it was the only one done before I got my sibling to help me, and I vaguely regret that. The arm should be a bit shorter to bring the hand in line with the legs and the upper calf is too short and needed to be lengthened, but its fine, its fine. Hands don't look that awful, and neither do the feet, and y'know it looks neat, so we're good, its fine.

Number 4

Finished this one second last, so it also has visible claws, good for her. Caught mid swinging, has visible bottom of the feet. I was somewhat tempted to make the bottoms pink and then decided against it. Only pose where we see her left hip, so we can see the origin point of the leg webs. Yeah no hand or feet comments, they went fine.

Number 5

I specifically moved the arm so that the hand was hidden behind the leg and frankly, no regrets. Yeah no big comments on this, it looks neat. Also has visible claws. On the one hand you can see anyway. I do like the silver and orange cast of additions added to this one, and the second one, the orange from the city lights below, the silver from the moon. Looks neat. Gives a very nice ambiance.

Number 6

This had a different pose in the initial sketch, its one of two that did, but I gave up on that sketch and ended up with this pose instead. The general idea of the pose didn't change too much, but this one looks much better. This one also has visible claws, and yes my sister assisted a heck tonne with the hands. Blame her for the functional hands. I can draw two hand poses and its straight out and flat and then set on a hip. Fists are not on that list, but I did a grand total of 3 fists in this picture set and its all her fault. The circle around her was an orange one and then I turned down the opacity and now it looks like that, and I like it. I think it looks really cool. Plus the rainbow background of course. And all the little tiny buildings.

Number 7

This one didn't change much, didn't need much help either. I have no excuse for the back hand, but I do appreciate the feet. We see the return to no claws this time, poor dear. Looks pretty cool though. I like this background too.

Number 8

Final one! Glad you made it this far. Mai looks particularly buff in this one because my sister so thoughtfully re-did the sketch for me, and she's very good at buff people(Go check her out cowards). It's okay Mai deserves to be buff. Like number 6 the general idea of the pose is the same, it just looks better now. Ignore how the inner left leg on this one and on the 7th contradict each other in design. It's fine, ignore it. I forgot this one also had fists, so that makes 5 fists in all of these, very impressive for me, who doesn't usually draw hands in any position other than on a hip or flat out. This was a slight issue since I hadn't designed her back, but I think what turned out looks fine, so we're safe. Yeah I like this one, we vibin, we good.

Overall:

Worth the time, they all look cool and I hope I got somewhat better at drawing. I've never really drawn action-y poses like this before, so it was good practice. Especially the couple where the torso wasn't as visible. Good practice, good outcome, excellent.

#nametsu mai #spiderwoman!mai #hfyt #spidersona #kinda #tldr of the read more: I like them #if I can find more good poses I might do this again #maybe #big maybe #This is definitely the most I've ever drawn for a single character/au. Would do it again #flux-art

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sparklysharkly · 5 years ago

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sorry for the slight day delay, but Merry Christmas @thornbriar!! I’m your Secret Santa for @talessecretsanta2019!!!

I couldn’t pick just one of your prompts, since they all were equally as good as the other, so i tried my best to combine them into something special and i really hope you like it!

#my art #ristelle #rita mordio #estellise sidos heurassein #tales of vesperia #tov #princess estelle #estelle #rita #talessecretsanta2019 #this was so much fun and a good excuse to draw more detailed backgrounds #i really hope you like it!!

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blennie · 5 years ago

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Sherlock buys busts of napoleon to smash to pieces when he’s in a good mood

#good for him. fuck the french #kt plays dgs #i keep switching back and forth between the panels of sherlock’s office background #the 3D art when the panels shift is making me go 😳 also there’s so many details #i know more than i realized about the sherlock universe but this really is...... shu takumi’s self insert sherlock holmes au #i’m p sure the bullet holes in the wall are canon in the books #but i do think it’s fun how much of an inventor sherlock is in this version i like him a lot also i like the little detail of him keeping #his pipe with all his test tubes #i like steampunk sherlock and his daughter #there’s so many little details that the game doesnt even let hou examine so they didn’t even write script or anything to draw attention #they just crammed his room full of details and things for art it’s very fun and cool and full of personality #um. excuse me but why does iris’s blackboard say ‘black peter’ on it #that’s. i looked it up and........ i do not like what i see..... is there a reason they added that in....#what does it say in the original japanese.....#SJRNCJRNXKS SHE CALLS SHERLOCK HER ROOMMATE #sherlock holmes: world’s worst roommate #she said ‘i’m ten :)’#lol noooo poor susato her idol..... all the stories are fake written by a little ten year old girl for fun....#never meet your idols :/#hhrehrhrvehrh iris is SO FUNNY why is she so self aware #‘i am a ten year old girl with an MD :)’#‘what kind of self respecting grown man take a ten year old girl to crime scenes’

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alphadogg777 · 3 years ago

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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

My new year's resolution is to put more effort into my backgrounds! I know I've been trying to do that for a while now but still, I want to do more detailed background art this year alongside my animations. So here you go! I thought it'd be fun to make my first drawing of the new year Levihan related so what better way to start it off with some NICE SPICY ANGST AW YEAH BOYS COME GET SOME look at them I want to give them hugs. They've had to put up with too much, give them their happy ending please I beg of you...also I believe in the Ackerman bed-head supremacy.

I can't believe Season 4 Part 2 is 8 days away I'm gonna scream - I'm not ready but also I need it and I'm going to be hype for all the LEVIHAN CONTENT YESHHHH

Now if you'll excuse me it's 3 am and I need to get a good night's sleep. I just spent several hours staying up working on this drawing and playing Security Breach with my friend lol so maybe I'll make some FNAF Art as well sometime! :)

#levihan #levi x hange #levi and hanji #levi ackerman #hange zoe #hange zöe #hanji zoe #attack on titan #aot fanart #aot #snk #aot season 4 part 2 #aot spoilers #aot angst #aot ships #the forest scene #but instead they talk about their feelings #and stargaze

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majachee · 2 years ago

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how draw..

HO HO HO? AN EXCUSE TO SHOW MY ART PROCESS?

Behold! How I draw!!

I start off with a very light, messy outline like so (rough recreation cuz i lost the og, has more detail than this)

This helps my brain out with posing and rough proportions without getting too overwhelmed.

And then I go over it on a different layer and essentially clean it all up!

I fix anatomy, i add clothes, i basically mess around with it until it looks Just Right.

Now, sometimes I just go ahead and color in the sketch because I don't feel like doing lineart, sometimes I plan out a rough color palette for bigger pieces (ex: zine pieces and gift art usually)

The clean sketching process is also when I use references the most, I look up character and clothing references, I look up posing refs, this is also when I do start looking up color palette ideas for character designs and bigger pieces.

But for lineart, I tend to drift towards textured brushes like the soft mapping pen (bleed) and soft school pen (bleed) in Ibispaint, and the marker brush in FireAlpaca with some adjustments!

I don't like going too far off the finished sketch, but I will absolutely make adjustments if necessary!

I do draw in the little white shinies of the eyes on the lineart layer, I just think they look cute!

I also use the pen to shade tiny areas like the neck/chin area, wrinkles, small gaps like the mouth and sleeves, etc. etc.

And then I lay down the colors!

I shade the eyes on their own layer, and the blush is also added in as part of the base colors. I use a lot of clipping masks during the part - selecting inside the lineart and essentially creating a base layer for the color layers. I use the selection tools, the lasso tool, or I just color along the inside of the lines to make an outline and then use the paint bucket tool to fill it all in!

This is also when I add in clothing patterns and such.

And now! Basic shading!

I use desaturated, grey-ish colors for shading. I pull all the color layers into one folder and/or merge them and I use a clipping mask on the folder for shading. For this drawing I used a desatudated light blue, but I also use other colors like red, pink, peach, purple, and green for some pieces. Really depends on what tone the piece is and what colors would look good.

I have my shading layers set to multiply and I mess with the opacity a bit, but usually it's 50-85% opacity for the main shading layer.

And then I go over that shading layer with a darker color!

Pretty much adding flavor to the shading by adding extra dark bits where the shadows might be darker. I also like to occassionally outline the shading cuz it's fun.

I didn't do this with this drawing, as it was a reference sheet, but I add a soft "glow" to my drawings after this stage. Basically, I take a really pale color (usually yellow or pink) and draw ovals where the body is being hit by the light source more, blurr it, and then set the layer to "soft light" and lower the opacity until it's barely noticable - just a soft, glowy fuzz that makes my eyes happy.

I also color in the lineart at this stage, usually going in with darker colors to make it a bit softer than the harsh black, sometimes I add a blurry glowy red or pink to the lineart around the face like I did in this pieces:

But like... depends on the vibe.

If the piece calls for it, i'll add a background, though if its a bigger project w/ actual scenery the background wouldve already been lined, colored, and shaded alongside the characters or before the characters were shaded

Year old example but yeah, my scenery techniques involve a lot of obsessing over perspective and texture and getting feedback from servers I'm in lmao

I can absolutely draw rocks and small plants, I'm just in too much pain to do so 🧍‍♂️

But yeah! That's a rough explanation of my drawing process, hope u enjoy Cyokie my bestie 💗💗💗💗

#maja needs to shut up tag #majart #drawing process #friend shenanigans #ask #long post #text #help me

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recurring-polynya · 3 years ago

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Do I mind if I ask how you approach writing longer fic? I've always struggled to write anything more than maybe two chapters long and I'm curious if you have a particular method to how you approach such stories.

Thank you so much for this ask! I absolutely love it when people ask me for writing advice because it makes me feel like a Smart Person Who Knows Things.

Before we start, here is one grain of salt to take all of this with: I have a naturally long-form brain. It is very hard for me to write something less than 1k. Short fiction is great, and there is nothing wrong with sticking to short things if that's what your brain likes to do.

So. You have decided to write a story. This is going to focus on "stories". Some people write fic that's more freeform or whatever, I am not going to cover that. What I mean by a story is this:

It starts

Some stuff happens

It ends

It is highly probable that your story contains a change of state, which could be that a villain is defeated, or a goal is reached, but it could also be that character falls in love with another, or someone learns to like broccoli.

I like to start out by completing the sentence, "This is a story where _______". This is basically like coming up with a summary for an ao3 post, except that it doesn't need to be catchy. Lots of different kinds of things could go in that blank! It could literally be what happens: This is a story where Ichigo goes back in time and punches young Aizen in the nose. It could be about what you want to explore: This is a story where Hitsugaya gets a better understanding of his zanpakutou. It could be about the vibe you want to achieve: This is an AU where everyone is in a punk rock band and has cool hair and outfits. The idea of this is to clearly define what you, the author, is interested in writing. Make sure it feels right! Maybe you pick the first one, but when you say it out loud, you say, "You know, I really just want Ichigo to go back in time so he can horse around with young Renji and Rukia and punching Aizen in the nose is just an excuse for that." That may sound dumb, but it's fine, actually! Most people don't read stories strictly for the plot, they read stories for the implications of those plots! Will my favorite two characters kiss? Will there be funny interactions between these two groups of characters? Will there be sick fights? Stories are excuses to have scenes. Sometimes, you will have a story where the interesting sequence of events is the draw, but the point is to know what you're about.

Once you feel happy with your "mission statement", you need to decide the bounds of your story: where it starts and where it ends. It may be easier to start with the end. In some cases, it may be obvious from your mission statement: everyone gets home, a villain is defeated, Kenpachi realizes the meaning of friendship. On the other hand, let's look at that punk rock AU. You've picked a vibe, but you don't really have a natural story arc. It has to have a destination, though, otherwise, it's not really a story, it's a recipe for 3 chapters of an abandoned fanfic. So brainstorm a little: Maybe they get a record deal? Maybe they win a Battle of the Bands? Maybe Byakuya accepts that the band is actually good and tells Rukia he is proud of her. Do not settle for a plot just because it works. Pick something that makes you excited! You're the one who is gonna have to write it!

I said that we needed to pick a beginning point, too, but I'm actually going to skip that for now. The next thing I do is think of all the Big Scenes I want to write, the ones you are hype to write, the ones that pop in your head as you think about the premise. Make a bullet list. They don't need to be in order. The descriptions don't need to be super detailed, but write down anything about it that is important to you. If there's a mood or a snippet of dialogue or a joke you want to make, go ahead and jot that down so you don't forget it later. What you're doing now is putting broad blotches of color on a canvas, filling in space and leaving the detail for later.

Once you are pretty happy with what you have down, try to arrange it in chronological order. Put your end at the end (if it wasn't one of your big scenes, add it now). The next task is figuring out how to traverse your scenes. You've already picked out where you want to spend the majority of your energy. The rest, I regret to tell you, is your slog writing. Now, it often happens that you will find joy in some of these scenes and your best writing may occur there, but that's serendipity. These are the scenes that you are gonna have to make yourself sit down and write, so you honestly want to limit them to just the ones you need.

So how do we do this? Look at the first thing on the list. Can you start there? If so, congrats, that's your beginning. If you can't, what needs to happen to get to there? Where can you start so that you can get to your first fun scene as soon as possible? There. That’s it. You’ve picked your beginning, good job! Now, go through the rest of your list, and add in things that must happen, even if you don’t particularly look forward to writing them. The characters need to travel from geographic point A to point B. Shuuhei needs to say something that Izuru hears and misinterprets. The Central 46 makes a new law. If you have a good idea of how these things happen, go ahead and write them down, but it’s okay if you don’t know yet. Fill in all the blanks so that if you think of each bullet list as a scene, you could read it as a story, start to end. Once you get writing, you might add more scenes, or move things around or whatever, but you should have a thing that functions as a story.

If you struggle with this, an alternative is a story with a very strong structure that is going to guide you though what you have to write.Here are two examples from my own stories Hold On, Hold On (which is only one chapter, but the principle is the same) is structured around the 5 stages of grief. Not Broken, Just Bent takes place over roughly a week, and I just decided what happened every day of the week. See You on the Other Side takes place in the middle of a bunch of canon events, which worked at mile markers.

Congratulations. You’ve just made a rough outline!

Special note for avoiding burnout!: I am a slogger. I will drag myself through the broken glass of an interminable plot to get to a single thirsty scene. That's why, at this stage, I try to look at the ratio of what I want to write to what I must write. It's gonna vary for everyone, but this is a hobby, and if looking at this proto-outline makes you feel deeply tired, maybe this isn't a good story to be devoting your time to! Can you carve it down? Can you chuck two scenes you really want to write and get rid of 80% of the slog? Or maybe you can't! In that case, just write that thirsty scene as a standalone drabble! Or just go work on something else! Maybe in the future, this one will come back to you and you’ll have a fresh idea or a renewed enthusiasm for it.

Another thing I sometimes like to do at this point is to write out some notes about my characters and their motivations and moods. Character A is homesick. Character B is so determined to defeat the enemy that they are having a hard time being sympathetic to Character A. Character C cares for both A and B and is trying to support them both. This is sort of background info that you want to keep in your head as you are writing. Depending on the type of story you are writing, this might actually be the main plot, or it might be happening subtly, but adding to the emotional impact of the story. It’s very easy for me to write these sorts of emotional arcs, but if you struggle with that, you may wish to go ahead and made a more detailed outline for that, too.

Now, it’s time to start writing! I am great at beginnings-- it is very often the case for me that the opening scene was one of my Big Tentpole Scenes. (Before you hate me too much, I make up for this by being double horrible at endings; just let me have this) Usually, I will start at the beginning and write linearly for as long as I can until I get stuck. Then, I will look forward on my outline and do the next chronological scene that I feel like writing. In general, if I sit down to write and there is something I have an urge to write, that trumps everything else. Inspiration is a precious commodity, and you should embrace it when it hits! You can slog any day. I will occasionally hold off writing a scene that I really want to, because I am saving it, like a prize for myself for getting that far. This is a very personal process of figuring out what motivates your brain and then giving your brain what it needs to be its most productive.

Eventually, you will run out of things you are excited to write, but the good news is, you’ve got a bunch of story now! Odds are that what’s left is going to be a lot of those connective tissue scenes, and you’re just going to have to do them, except that now, because you’re connecting two concrete points instead of two abstract points, it will be a lot easier. You can continue running jokes you’ve started. Maybe you invented a cafe in an earlier scene where your characters hang out and you can have them return there. Try to think of ways to make these scenes more fun, both for yourself to write and for your reader to read.

Around this time, I like to start refining that rough strokes outline into what I will call an “as-built” outline. (This is an engineering term where you update your plans or models for something to reflect any changes that had to be made along the way). This is a great activity to do at times when you feel like you have writers block. I write down every scene I have written as a 2-3 word blurb, in order. I break the scenes into what I think makes logical chapters, and I will do a word count on those prospective chapters and write it down. As you do this, you will realize that maybe you can move a scene from here to there, which will make it 1000% easier to write. Things may be happening too much, or you’ve got the characters eating three times in the same chapter. If you have subplots and dangling threads, this is where you make sure they get closure. I know this sounds very headache-y, but you are so far along in the story at this point that it’s really not-- it’s a way to look at the problems you have left. Use some sort of formatting (I like to bold things I haven’t done and sometimes I put them in red) and it gives you a very visual to-do list.

You specifically mentioned multi-chapter fanfics and I admit that I don’t tend to think in chapters, I tend to think of the story as a whole and just break it up where it feels natural. The as-built outlining I described is very helpful in making sure that my chapters feel balanced. They don’t necessarily need to be the same length, but I like them to have the same amount of stuff in them. One chapter may basically contain one long scene, and other may contain many short ones. I don’t tend to, but you can certainly have a fanfic that varies between short and long chapters, that can actually be an interesting effect. But like I said, I always like to know what I am doing, and so having it mapped out, you can say “welp, this is what I’ve done, how do I feel about that?”

Polynya, you may be saying at this point, do you write the whole fanfic before you post any of it? and I regret to inform you, the answer is yes. A lot of people write as they go, and I have made one attempt at this and I didn’t like it. I don’t like locking myself in, I just need to be able write out of order and go back and change things. Here is the story of a little in love: someone gave me an AU prompt and I got mildly obsessed with it, and wrote 5 snapshots drabbles in that universe, ending with a slight cliffhanger ending. I probably should have stopped there, but I decided to keep going. I wrote out an outline of 5 acts where the first act was detailed to the degree of each chapter being specified. The chapters here were much smaller than I usually make chapters: 1-2k. I wrote act i and ii and it was actually great, and then I hit act iii which required a lot of set up for misunderstandings and a mini romance arc. I couldn’t wing it, but nor could I figure it all out with outlining. I write dialogue in almost sort of an improv “Yes, and...?” style, so until I do it, I don’t know what’s going to happen. So, what I did was treat the second half of act iii as a complete story in the process I describe above, wrote the entire rest of it, and then posted it. One might notice that the chapter lengths grew to 3-5k each. I have two more acts to go, and I haven’t decided how I am going to do them yet, but I suspect I will treat each of them as their own mini-stories.

(I will admit that in Heart is a Muscle, I tend toward chapters that are about 10k long, and this is honestly too long, someone should smack me. If you like punchy chapters, 1-2k is good. I think 3-6k is probably an ideal chapter length. Is this how long the chapters are in my latest fanfic? Absolutely not.)

Okay, so there’s one more step, which is quality control. I am habitual re-reader-- I read my fanfics-in-progress over and over and over while I am working on them. I understand that not everyone does this, but I am usually the primary audience for my own writing, and this is the actual fun part for me. Nevertheless, you should re-read your work at least once, to make sure it hangs together.

This is purely optional, but I recommend it: get a writing friend (if you don’t like re-reading your work, I recommend this even more strongly). If you can get a full-service beta reader, that’s great, but if you can’t find someone, or if receiving that level of critique stresses you out, it’s perfectly valid to just find a friend who will read your stuff and a) shower you with compliments, b) reassure you about parts you aren’t sure about (or suggest ways to help) and c) point out any huge problems you missed. When I am writing a long fanfic, it is a huge motivational factor for me to be able to send my beta chapters as I finish them. If you are already an established writer, and you have people who consistently comment on your fic, they might be overjoyed to get a sneak peak at your work.

And that’s it! That’s the way I do it, anyway! Some people are able to sit down and write a very detailed outline and the write it start-to-finish. Good for them, I say! I have tried this and it doesn’t work great for me. I will admit that some of my fics (especially my early ones) I just sat down and banged out whole-cloth like an insane person and they are generally better than the ones I actually plan out, but that’s not a reproducible process.

As one final mechanical note, I usually write in Google Docs, which I can access on multiple devices (I used to write a lot on my phone), has convenient sharing functionality, and I use the ao3 html formatting script add-in. I generally have two documents for a single story-- one is the outline, and any other notes I want to have handy. I’ll usually put a trashcan space at the bottom for scenes that got cut but I don’t want to lose. The other is the fanfic itself.

I hope this is helpful! Please feel free to follow up with other questions and good luck with your writing!

#writing advice #longform writing

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gyeomsweetgyeom · 3 years ago

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you suck at crushes

College!Yangyang x College!Reader x College!Renjun

summary: Renjun wants to help you get with Yangyang who wants to help you couple up with Renjun but they’re both annoying, maybe one less than the other

word count: 4.2k

(warnings: swearing, mentions of food) ((lmk if I missed anything))

Taglist! @lanadreamie

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy!! I swear reader ends up with only one guy I just don’t want to give away the ending and I know the summary is ass

God it was like the beams of sunshine just followed him around. Providing him with a natural spotlight that only worked to draw your attention to him even more than usual. The voices around you faded into background noise, and everything else besides him became so fuzzy you could only focus on the one and only- Liu Yangyang.

“Hello?” “Y/N!” “Are you listening to us?” Someone gripped your shoulder and shook you until you were out of your Yangyang-induced-haze. “Huh? Oh yeah… totally.” You answered with absolutely no idea about the conversation happening at the very table you sat at.

Your friends snorted, teasing and making fun of you. A kissing noise, a high pitched teasing exclamation of the man of the hour’s name, and some playful elbows being jabbed into your side. When they finally stopped with the teasing and they actually filled you in you were able to answer some questions about the times at the library.

You slipped into your seat in your geology class, a poor choice on your behalf and quite frankly the school for describing it as something that would be ‘fun and exciting.’ What a total load of BS that was. The professor was an old man that went on and on about his days in the field 40 years ago and rambled on and on about subjects that were 70% of the time not on the tests. However, the one and only bright side was that you had your favorite distraction in this class, Yangyang.

How could one person asking a question about the tectonic plates or the striations on a stupid rock be so attractive? He made it possible.

“Staring yet again?” An annoying voice asked quietly, just inches from your ear.

“Who are you?” You asked annoyed.

“Y/N, that isn’t funny anymore. Not the first time you did it and not the hundreds of times after that. We lived on the same street for years before you decided to follow me here.” He answered with a huff.

“Renjun, will you just go away? You know I’m no good at this so go bother someone else.” You replied. You took your eyes off Yangyang, gave Renjun a quick glare, and focused back on the lab work in front of you. Something stupid about hills or some moutain. Wasn’t this class supposed to be about rocks?

“I don’t need help, I came to help you. We’re friends- shhhh.” Renjun started, quickly shutting you up before you could interrupt. “I can help you with this lab and help you win over your beloved Yangyang.”

You sent him a quizzical look. In all the years you had known Renjun he had never been this... generous- always wanting something in return. “He and I are friends, he’s been super annoying lately and complaining about some final project we decided to do together, but we have months to do it. If I help you guys get together in order to distract him, then he can stop bothering me about that final project. It’s a win-win-win situation.” He explained.

Well, that made a lot of sense. “What do you even have in mind? Yangyang and I don’t talk like we used to, how could we go from strangers to dating in just a couple months.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself. You were the person to show him around school when he was the new kid all those years ago when we were kids, you’re in better standing than you think. We all went to the same school, we already know each other, we all have this class, and I’m not going to let this fail because I do not fail. If I have to hear about the final project one more time I will rip all the hair off his head, three strands at a time.” Renjun pouted.

“You sound completely crazy-”

“If you two need some help all you have to do is ask, I don’t need you two to argue and disrupt the class. Mr. Liu, since you seem to have a good understanding of the assignment, would you mind helping them out?” The professor called out.

You and Renjun sent each other incredulous looks, were you really talking that loudly? “It’s earlier than expected, but don’t worry I got this,” Renjun whispered.

“You know if you guys had just spoken quietly, I could have left early but here I am. You can’t do anything without me can you?” Yangyang teased Renjun.

“Oh, it wasn’t me. Y/N here is just so stupid, I was trying to explain the lab and it’s like all my words go in one ear and out the other. Maybe you can explain better than I can.” Renjun gestured toward you wildly.

You immediately went to defend yourself but stopped when instead, Yangyang came to your defense. “Y/N isn’t stupid like you Injun, if you wanted some attention you didn’t have to bother someone innocent.”

Your face felt so hot, god this attention was too much to handle so suddenly. It was as if Renjun had thrown you into the deep end of a pool when you had just learned about the entire concept of swimming itself. If this was his attempt at getting you and Yangyang together you were now questioning the entire idea. It was just too much to handle so suddenly.

Yangyang quickly went on to explain the idea of the lab, giving you some tips to make the work easier and how it connected to past lessons. “Do you understand it a little more now?” He asked you.

You hissed when someone stomped on your foot beneath the table. Your eyes met Renjun’s while he discreetly shook his head, seemingly trying to send you some kind of message. But it seemed whatever he was sending was received because you quickly caught on, answering, “Oh uh, this whole class has actually been a bit more difficult than I anticipated, and you seem to have a way better understanding than I do. Would you be willing to maybe meet up sometime and just help a little more?”

“I’m free on Wednesday afternoons, let’s exchange numbers so maybe we can find out what you struggle the most with and what time works for you. Renjun are you coming too, you seemed to get the lab when I explained it,” Yangyang replied.

Renjun answered with a simple nod, sending Yangyang on his way for the remainder of the class. He was quiet the rest of the time, still sitting beside you. When the class was over he looked over at you, “This is going to be so much easier than I thought.”

Some point in the week after class you had all decided on the meeting place and time. Some little cafe just off campus after Yangyang was done with his last class of the day. He said the coffee was good and it wasn’t even expensive, to which Renjun was quick to add that they had friends working there so they got discounts.

Renjun insisted on meeting you a little earlier to go over the details of the plan he had finally come up with. The plan mainly consisted of you just catching up with Yangyang, which would then progress to just the two of you hanging out, then bam! Dating! Much easier said than done you were quick to point out. His plan was just an idea with no details. Like what do you talk about? How do you make him like you? What kinds of things does he like? Could he even like you romantically?

“He actually mentioned to me that he was happy to talk to you again, so I have very high hopes. That was one conversation with him that was not about the final. Just have some hope.” Renjun shrugged.

“You make this sound so simple, but you are not the one risking being embarrassed by telling the guy you’ve had a crush on since you were 10 about your feelings and having even less of a relationship than you’ve had for the past like 6 years.” You huffed.

“Since you were 10? That’s a little embarrassing.” Renjun let out.

Ever since you were kids it was like Renjun knew the exact words and actions to push your every button. Always getting on your nerves and getting under your skin. It was foolish of you to believe that he had matured enough to not tease you, even in your 20s and even in college. Huang Renjun sucked.

You brought your hands up to his neck, fully ready to wrap your hands around his neck and just squeeze- just enough pressure for him to get the idea to just shut up. But of course, that would be unacceptable in public and even less appropriate seeing as Yangyang had come right up to the table before you could do so. You improvised, changing your intended action of a throat squeeze to a nice hug, arms wrapped tightly around Renjun’s shoulders. You smiled brightly, tilting your head away from Yangyang so your lips were right beside Renjun’s ear, “I can go another 10 years buddy, learn to shut your damn mouth. I for one know how to follow through with my threats and will actually pull your hairs from your head- Yangyang, so good to see you!”

Yangyang looked between the both of you curiously, side by side, one with a bright, beaming smile and the other flushed, scared look on their face. He shook it off and pulled out his study materials while making small talk.

By the end of the study session you felt more confident in your geology skills and your chances with Yangyang. He had gotten exponentially cooler as he got older than the kid you met all those years ago. Sure, he was still chaotic and sarcastic, even still a little dramatic, but it nonetheless made your heart skip a beat, just like the first time you laid eyes on him.

Over the next few weeks Renjun slowly stopped coming to the study sessions. He always had some excuse or another, that neither you or Yangyang ever really questioned. In those few weeks you and Yangyang had grown closer as friends, texting each other about more than just class, checking in on each other, sending stupid memes and tiktoks, even a few inside jokes.

But of course, Renjun had to have his time too. Instead of just texting you, he would make conversation anytime he saw you on campus, even going as far as asking you to hang out when he wanted to know what was going on. Every night without fail, he would FaceTime you for at least an hour and a half to ask for very detailed updates which at some point became you two just talking about your days in general. He liked to judge your every decision, giving his own input on even minor things like the seat you sat in for a class he didn’t even have. He said his life lacked drama so he needed to live vicariously through his friends.

“I know we usually meet at the cafe, but even with that discount I really shouldn’t be spending all that money there every week. Do you mind if we meet at mine this week? I promise my roommate buys enough snacks to feed the whole complex and he makes me clean the place every week.” Yangyang suggested about a month and a half into your studying arrangement.

You of course agreed, you’d be crazy to not want to go to your crush’s home, just the two of you- alone, and talking about… rocks.

So when the next week came and Wednesday afternoon rolled around, you found yourself standing right outside your crush’s door, fist raised to knock. You were so nervous, just being alone with him in his home! This wasn’t the cafe where you had other people around, where you knew where things were, close to your home. No, this was his house, and that made you beyond nervous.

He pulled the door open, a wide smile on his face as he welcomed you in. He set your things at his kitchen table and gave you a short tour of the home. “My roommate will be back later tonight, but he made us some food if we get hungry later,” He told you while he brought out his own supplies, once again ready to conquer your weekly study session.

And even though you did at one point struggle very much with the subject, this particular topic seemed easier to understand. So after even correcting Yangyang a few times, the study session became more of a hang out session. So casual that you even answered Renjun’s texts, chuckling at him freaking out in all caps because you were in Yangyang’s home.

“No, but Renjun did that last time we hung out too! We were in public, like full on glass of water spilled across the table and he got so red,” you laughed recalling the memory from just a few weeks ago after watching Yangyang do the same.

Then just a few minutes later when you were both watching TV you mumbled, “I think Renjun would like this show. This is on Netflix right?”

Yangyang being the smart kid that he is, had pieces coming together in his mind, ideas that he wasn’t even sure if you knew yet. He was going to make this happen.

Renjun sat in front of Yangyang, a month before the end of the semester, finally working on the final project. Which, thanks to you, had not been mentioned even once since you and Yangyang started hanging out until a week ago.

After finishing his part for the day Yangyang leaned back in his chair, sighed and smiled. “I think I’m going to ask Sua from our history class out.”

Renjun choked on his drink, did Yangyang really have to pick the exact moment he took a sip of his drink to tell him this? He cleared his throat, “Since when do you like her?”

Yangyang shrugged nonchalantly, explaining that Sua worked at the cafe he was always at and at some point they just kind of hit it off.

Renjun nodded, a little excessively. In his head he was trying to figure out what the hell to do. He knew you liked Yangyang and how hurt you would be if Yangyang suddenly had a girlfriend. At this moment, you were the only thing on Renjun’s mind. “Really? I actually thought you and Y/N might be a really good match, and you guys obviously get along well.” He replied.

Yangyang hid his smirk by taking a sip of his drink, “I don’t know, Y/N is really just much more of a friend than anything. Like don’t get me wrong Y/N is cool, but I see Sua more romantically.”

Before Renjun even had time to process his words and think of the consequences, he suddenly blurted out, “Well, Y/N likes you- and has liked you since we were kids. You have to think about more feelings than just your own Yangyang. Think of Y/N.”

“Like you think about Y/N?” Yangyang replied. Renjun tilted his head in confusion, trying to understand what Yangyang was talking about.

“I know you never grew out of that crush you had in middle school- it’s that cute childhood neighbors to lovers thing. I know that whole plan you made so I could finally pay attention to Y/N, and while I admit it worked, because Y/N is a cool friend, this plan didn’t work the way you wanted it to. I see the way you look at Y/N and every time we hang out that’s all you can talk about. I’m smarter than you Injun, I know.”

Renjun flushed, these were emotions that he had buried deep down years ago. In just two months Yangyang had uncovered and brought his emotions to light. Emotions that had at one point been disguised as that annoying 13 year old kid that would bother you to your wit’s end and now evolved to Renjun putting your emotions before his own. Days that were once filled with him tugging on your hair or tapping on your shoulder and looking away as if it weren’t him, had now become days of texting or facetiming you regularly just to catch up like he had wanted.

“I think you should tell Y/N how you feel, don’t underestimate your chances.” Yangyang told Renjun as they made their way out of the cafe.

When Yangyang told you that he knew you liked him, that he wasn’t interested, that he was actually going to date Sua from his history class, you thought you would be more upset. Embarrassed that he knew you liked him all this time, angry that he didn’t tell you earlier, or heartbroken that your crush of almost 10 years didn’t like you like you liked him. But you weren’t. You weren’t embarrassed, or angry, or heartbroken. You felt fine, it felt like he was just telling you what he ate for lunch. “Okay, so how do you tell the difference between these crystals again?” You replied with a nod.

“And I know you like Renjun.” He added quietly.

You looked up suddenly, eyes wide with shock, “What?”

“Come on Y/N, I think this whole ‘Renjun annoys me to no end’ is just a ploy. Whenever we hang out he’s all you talk about, you guys FaceTime like every night, right? You smile every time he texts you, and even though you play it off as ironic shit-posting- those stories you always post with all the hearts and cheesy ass captions stopped being a joke at some point. You may not have realized it but even with Renjun as just a friend to you now, he means more to you than I do.”

You huffed, crossing your arms across your chest, “You know you’re smarter than you look, but I really don’t like you psychoanalyzing me.”

He laughed loudly, “So what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t exactly have a good record with crushes, obviously. I don’t know what to do now,” you quietly answered, “Anyway this seems like a good ending point, we’ll meet one more time before the final right? Just text me if you need anything alright?”

Before Yangyang could even stop you or try to reassure you, you were hastily packing up your things and out the door. How was he going to get the two of you together now?

It seemed that mother nature seemed to understand the tornado of emotions that were happening for you and Renjun, though you both had no idea about one another, what had started off as a gorgeous spring day had become a dark and rainy spring night. Even Yangyang laid in his bed, unable to sleep as he remembered that he had failed to mention or even plan out- that neither of you knew you liked each other. That would have been nice to know, but it was a little too late for that now seeing as it was like two in the morning.

If you liked Renjun, which it sounded like you did, according to Yangyang and the more you thought about it, it really felt like you did. Not some surface level ‘I like to admire you from afar for 10 years’ crush but rather a ‘I like you and want to spend time with you and I’d hate to see you smile at anyone else like you smile at me and possibly fall in love.’ You sat straight up in bed, flashes of the lightning outside lit your room up, did you just think about falling in love with Renjun? Before you could process anymore thoughts you pulled on a coat and some shoes, grabbing the umbrella you kept by the door. You had to tell Renjun how you felt.

Stepping out of your apartment complex, you thanked the love gods for allowing Renjun to live just a few blocks away from each other and not across town. There was no doubt in your mind that by the time you reached him, you would be soaked to the bone, but you had to do this. There was no point in keeping this crush to yourself just for nothing, you had to take the risk and just hope for the best. Best case scenario, you get a boyfriend, and worst case, well then you don’t talk to him for another few years and every time you see him your heart feels like it's being stomped on. You know, something that could become a regular feeling.

You hurried through the storm, dodging large puddles while trying your best to stay beneath the awnings of the buildings. You stopped at a light, looking out into the rain to see just how much further you had until you got to Renjun’s place. But instead you focused on the sight of someone rushing through the rain to get to the opposite end of the crosswalk. You squinted through the downpour, realizing that the person at the other end of the crosswalk was “Renjun?”

You rushed toward him, lucky that there were no cars at this hour of the night to dodge. He ran forward, meeting you in the middle, pulling your hand forward so that the umbrella covered you both. “What are you doing out here?” He asked you loudly so you could hear him over the rain.

“I was coming to see you,” you started, meeting his eyes that told you he was waiting to hear more, “Renjun I like you. I really like you. I don’t smile, or laugh, or feel happy or even feel annoyed with anyone else like I feel when I’m with you. I want to be happy and date you, use your stupid plans to plan dates for us. I don’t want anyone else but you.”

“God, you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that. I’ve had a crush on you since middle school, you don’t know how happy this makes me.” He beamed, using his free hand to cup your cheek.

His hands were wet, and his fingers were cold as they cupped your warm cheek. “Are you gonna kiss me or what?” You asked.

He surged forward, lips meeting your own in a passionate kiss as your eyes fluttered shut. Your lips moved against his own, wrapping your free arm around his neck to pull him closer. He let his other arm fall to bring you closer by the waist, deepening the kiss. With one arm holding up the umbrella you decided to just fuck it, dropping the umbrella you placed your hand at the back of his neck.

A sudden honk made the two of you jump apart, rushing back to the end of the crosswalk to avoid getting hit by an angry driver.

“You crazy kids! Living your movie moment! I did it!” You heard a voice yell over the pounding rain.

“Yangyang?” Both you and Renjun called out upon catching sight of Yangyang leaning out his car window.

He smiled, gesturing for the two of you to get in the car. You both shuffled into the backseat, hands held close and sitting side by side to warm each other up after being out in the horrible weather for so long. You were both shivering, teeth chattering, and lips nearly blue from the cold.

“Aren’t you guys glad I meddled? I mean look at you guys, all cute and cuddled up after your adorable kiss in the rain.” Yangyang giddily smiled as he shook some of the water out of hair.

“Can you just take us back to mine, I’d like to get dry so we don’t get sick. If that’s ok with you,” Renjun asked, whispering the last bit to you.

You nodded, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Yangyang nodded, putting the car in drive, chatting your ears off about how happy he was that the plan worked even when he didn’t plan well considering he forgot to mention that you liked each other. He told you both that he was on his way to Renjun’s to tell him that you liked him and force him to FaceTime you and confess.

He pulled up in front of the apartment complex, turning to give you a cocky smirk before you could even get out of the car or thank him for the ride, “So is Injun a good kisser?”

“This whole car ride made me realize how much you suck, seriously. I clearly made the right choice, so I hope and pray for your sake Sua has a mountain of patience, like you never shut up- ever. Thank you for the ride.” You ranted angrily before you made your way out of the car.

Yangyang’s jaw fell in fake offense, “You sure know how to pick ‘em Renjun.”

But he wasn’t met with the shocked face he thought he would see, he was instead met with a dazed, lovesick look. “Yeah I do, I might be in love.”

#kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop au #kpop reactions #nct #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream fic #nct dream x reader #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct au #nct x reader #renjun fluff #renjun imagines #Renjun Scenarios #renjun x reader #renjun fic

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violettelueur · 4 years ago

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— ITADORI YUJI + FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + GOJO SATORU + NANAMI KENTO || HAVING AN ARTISTIC S/O

↳ featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + gojo satoru + nanami kento from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : grammar issues

↳ form : headcanons

↳ published : 27 january

↳ pronouns : non specified in headcanon

↳ request : Goodday Violettelueur.😊 May I order classic black coffee? Okay ummm can I request headcanons Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Itadori Yuji and Megumi Fushigiro (spell I his name right?) x S/O that's talent creative like painting, drawing, sewing, kriting, tinkering.

↳ barista’s notes : good day to you too~ i decided to take the painter/sketcher approach to your request, so i hope you don’t mind ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ but guys, when i was looking for an imagine for this banner, i cried reading the manga again because if you know, you know...ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ BUT other than that, i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and come again soon ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ

When Itadori finds out that you are creatively talented, this boy will always ask you if you are planning to draw/paint soon because he wants to watch you do whatever you choose to do.

It is known that Itadori is your number one fan and supporter and will cheer for you in the background quietly because he knows that you need to concentrate when you’re doing your thing.

When you are either painting or drawing, Itadori will always sit next to you with his head on your shoulder because he wants to see the process but mostly the final result.

If you are painting, Itadori will ask if he can help mix paints to make different colours for you since he doesn’t want to ruin the piece you are making.

Imagine him shyly using an extra paintbrush and just cutely mixing colours next to you - guys...I can’t, I’m going to start crying.

Even though he is nervous, when you want him to paint on your canvas, he would always ask you what colour to use and where to paint even when you tell him he can do anything he wants and you’ll go on from there.

During this time, he will apologise profusely when he thinks he has ruined the painting - so please tell him that he is doing a good job as he goes along, it gives him confidence.

Since he is your number one fan, he will take a picture of your sketches/paintings and shows them off to everyone like the proud boyfriend he is.

“Look! Look! Y/N drew this yesterday, isn’t it so cool?!”

Fushiguro and Kugisaki will be amazed but will get annoyed at Itadori constantly shouting at them to look at your art - “We already know Y/N is an amazing artist, you don’t need to keep telling us…”

If you gift him a painting or a sketch of him, this boy will cherish it with all his heart and will compliment on how well you got his features - you can’t tell me otherwise at all.

In conclusion, Itadori will be the proudest boyfriend ever and will show you off - not in a possessive way - it’s more out of happiness and cheeriness.

When Fushiguro discovers your artistic talents, he will invite you over to his dorm to hang out together as an excuse to see you draw or continue on what art piece you were doing before.

He knows that you don’t ever come to his room without your art supplies because usually, you both are in his room just silently with each other.

He will stay silent and leave you to continue your work - when you are in your dorm room - but expect him to keep coming back once every 5 minutes to admire your work over your shoulder until you tell him that he could say if he wanted.

His favourite sights to see is when you are on his bed laying on your stomach sketching away on your book or you sitting on a stool with your canvas and easel in the sunlight with the touch of his divine dog calmly laying on the floor beside you.

Sometimes, when you are in his room, you would ask him if he wanted to draw with you, to which, of course, he would deny the offer since he doesn’t want to ruin your sketchbook.

Once you convince him it’s fine, it is known on a daily occurrence that you would draw/paint on one page of your sketchbook and he would do the same on the other - if he can, he would hold your other hand.

When you are feeling bored, Fushiguro will allow you to draw on his arm since he knows it’s a coping mechanism for you - I don’t think he would wash it off anytime soon…

Unlike itadori, it is unknown to you that he takes pictures of you drawing/painting as well as your work - he probably has a whole folder dedicated to you and a picture of you painting is probably his wallpaper.

If you draw him, expect him to blush and ask why and if you tell him ‘it’s because you are pretty’ that blush will just go redder.

I don’t think he will show your talent off, not because he’s not proud but maybe because he wants this knowledge to only himself - like yours and his little secret I guess.

Overall, Fushiguro is someone that will admire your work but also want to somehow relate to you by joining in with your sketching sessions - he has some pride inside of him to have such an artistic partner but wants to keep that to himself.

When Gojo finds out that you can draw and paint, he will always try to find your sketchbook and canvas to see if you have done anything new without his knowledge - because curiously kills that cat right?

If you have drawn something without his knowledge, he will pout and complain to you on why you didn’t tell him about it

“Honey~ why didn’t you tell me you were going to draw this week? I wanted to watch you~”

If you draw/paint him in any way, he will get cocky and confident because, of course, he is an amazing subject to be used.

Of course, Gojo has to be that one person that takes a picture of something and will ask you if you could draw/paint what is depicted on the phone screen.

He will also allow you to draw on him and expect him to take a few photos while you are doing so because he thinks you look adorable doing so.

He will also ask you if you want him to model for you - because he is confident in his looks - and if you say ‘yes’ make sure to say what you want to draw from him because he thinks you want to draw all of him.

When you are painting, do not expect a peaceful session, because this guy will play with your paints and paint-brushes.

What I mean by this is him dabbing a paintbrush into the paint before brushing it on your face or anywhere that you are showing skin.

His excuse will be because you are a masterpiece and he will continue to swipe white paint on your face and maybe your hair to ‘match with him’.

Gojo will also mix paint to match the colour of his eyes and will use it to paint on you also - he just loves to tease you.

If you paint of him, he will cuddle you to get you both messy with paint since it’s another excuse of his to have a shower together~

In conclusion, Gojo will always mess with you when you are drawing and painting, he wants to be the subject of most of your works but he is grateful that he has a talented significant other like you.

Namami will give you more privacy than his senior - Mr Gojo Satoru - because he has an idea on how much time and concentration it takes to make one masterpiece.

When you are in the middle of something, Nanami will make you some of your favourite beverage and place it next to you with a bowl of fruit or his favourite sandwich.

His favourite site of you when you draw is when you both go on a coffee date together and you sit next to him with your sketchbook in hand - he would have a soft look on his face as he admires you and the book.

When you are painting, it would be you that will brush some paint on him since why not help him have a little fun?

He will groan at you for being a bit annoying but once he hears you laugh, he will forget about the little incident since this moment is something he wants to appreciate with you.

If you do any artwork that is related to him, he would seem nonchalant about it but you know on the inside he is really proud of you.

He would admire the work for a long time even when you have gone to do something else and if you are sly about it, you could see him sitting on your stool with a small smile being displayed on his face.

When the painting has dried or when a drawing has been completed, he would gently trace the drawing and will ask for a copy of it - even though he already has a picture of it on his phone, he just wants more.

“It’s really incredible Y/N, thank you for doing this”

When you have finished your work for the day or if you are tired, he will help you clean up and place your work somewhere for it to be safe or to dry since he is really proud of your work and doesn’t want anything to happen to it.

He doesn’t really have pet names for you - usually, it’s darling, love or something endearing - but he will add a new one for you and he will call you his “little artist”.

Overall, Nanami is very discreet when it comes to you and your art but is really amazed by all your work since he is a person that takes everything to detail - sometimes he is shocked at how well you get every little detail into your work.

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sexydreamgirl · 3 years ago

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Hey, sexy boy anon here! I hope you're doing well :D

warning: pls bear with my frustrated confusion between british and american spelling LOL

I decided to take a break from tumblr to just chill and focus on my own power and do my own thing and I wanted to update! more success stories and realizations and stuff

I've reassured myself much more about my self-concept (though it was already good to start >:3). Without the over-consumption of NG and LOA posts I started to realize that I can just relax

like when i affirmed that this person i didn't like wouldn't be there, they wouldn't. if i didn't want something to happen, it was suddenly cancelled. and i'm consciously doing this, too. when i know i want something or don't want something (near future or far future), i just know it's going to just happen as i want it (and this sounds like i'm affirming but it's a legit line of thinking i've fallen into) i've done this for "bIgGer" things too, like exact items i want with no cost at all.

and something i've noticed as i continued to shape my concept of myself and reflect on my position in my reality (as the creator) i felt like things were more? real? before i felt like i was kind of a background character, as if things were not supposed to happen to me, and (i assumed) people weren't really talking to me because they wanted to. i assumed that i was a person who didn't have what i wanted and so i felt really detached? but after i affirmed for my self concept, i suddenly started to realize like WOAH people actually see me, they think that i'm cool, i'm actually someone who's getting the school of his dreams, i'm actually living the life that i want, i'm actually being included in things. just a cool effect of SC i guess!

i've also developed my own funky way of doing visualisations and SATS and everything! for me, i hate it when i have to "force" myself to lie down and deliberately start visualising anything, even if I'm a person who could spend HOURS day dreaming (though i have a control of when to start and stop). Like there would just be a block and nothing would feel real. But I'm something of an artist myself (insert lip bite emoji here) so I draw out really simple cartoons/this tiny manga with me being in a situation that i really want, and i use natural dialogue from others to point out things about myself (or I draw out what i have). E.g. I draw myself with my ideal body and any details i want, and then i write out in a thought bubble my self concept "wow, everything really always come to me when i want it! aren't i so great lol???" and when i draw myself walking down a hall in between a situation (between me and my SP 😳), i'd draw a much shorter person than me and make them whisper to their friend "wow he's so tall!" and stuff like that. when i want to emphasize moments in first person to feel real, i just draw in my perspective, e.g. when i notice that my SP is blushing and looking at me in the eye.

It really helps cuz I always draw before bed time, and then once I've forced myself to stop drawing (cuz it's fun) i have to go sleep but i just WANNA keep focusing on that storyline i had and the feeling of being that character which is me, and i naturally start to visualise everything so naturally and without force AND ACTUALLY FEEL IT REAL! like i get actual feelings and sensations of having those things. and since i stay up until the latest possible, i don't really have to wait for the SATS state to kick in, so i just basically drew myself into the state and have the funnest time.

writing works too, sometimes i write out a scene instead, and then i go to bed daydreaming into feeling it real. i even make pinterest boards for my go-to comic of the night just for added aesthetics and more excuses for daydreaming LOL

ONE LAST THING and i hope this long ass post isn't ruining your feed or anything 😩 after having the wackiest dream about manifesting (like about god and reality and manifesting) there was a time where I was accidentally in the void state! and i didn't even want to use the void state cuz im too lazy for that shiz lmao, but here would be my description:

it's just all black but not black like the darkness in your room or the black behind your closed eyelids, it feels like you're just in some kind of space. i think i was also in sleep paralysis cuz i couldn't move. when i woke up in that state i was like oh! im in the void state! quick what do i wish for?!! what should i tell myself to give myself?!?! should i shift?!?!?!??!! and i affirmed for height, and knowing that since i was in that state it would be done (though it already was :P) and right after i affirmed it everything felt super static and weird, like i was being transported somewhere with extreme force upwards to another place, and then I felt my legs buzzing like crazy and like they were elongating, and i decided to prepare myself to go back to sleep cuz it lowkey felt really nice. i think at that point i was sleeping back into just sleeping/dreaming mode but no idea.

anyways i won't burden you with anymore text! i again wish you are doing really well and though you can do it yourself im manifesting that you get like a really tasty desert (or alternative if you don't want dessert)!

omg sexy boy hello!! haven’t heard fro you in so long! this was such an interesting update! I’m glad you’ve been doing so well for yourself <3 Also, your manga method? SO unique and SO cool! I want to ask you if in the future if I decide to make a post about methods would it be okay with you if I mention it because I love how creative it is! And congrats on going to the void! I’m super proud of you! This update was excellent ahh I can’t wait to hear from you again!

#sexy boy anon #methods

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lizbotw · 4 years ago

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Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kirishima Discovering Their S/O’s Last Partner Abused Them

Anonymous said:

hiii! could you write headcanons for bakugou, todoroki, and kirishima on how they would react to discovering their s/o’s last partner abused them, if you’re not comfortable it’s totally fine though!

hello! i hope these are fine and i hope i portrayed everything properly. if not, someone please let me know. i wasn’t that sure about posting these so please read at your own discretion! also, if you or anyone you know is stuck in an abusive situation, please reach out to someone :( these ended up pretty long once again, so there are some scenario-like sections in a few parts. please let me know what you think and i hope you like them!!! ♡

warning: mentions of/references to abuse and abusive relationships (if it helps, i didn’t explicitly describe/go into detail about what happened? it’s more so alluded to and there’s a heavy focus on the comfort aspect)

Bakugou Katsuki

He started to notice that something was wrong whenever you would flinch when he raised his voice. He didn’t mean to yell at you and most of the time it was just him talking at his normal, fired up volume. He didn’t like fighting with you, just playful banter in his own intense way, so it was even weirder that you were reacting like that.

But even if he was just ranting to you about his day, getting a little too into the story and his voice getting a little louder, he seemed to be constantly making you anxious, as though you were waiting for him to break bad news to you or something.

It was confusing and it frustrated Katsuki, always one to want to be in the know and be in charge of situations, but he wasn’t sure how to approach it. His usual blunt and gruff manner of demanding you tell him what was wrong would most likely only serve to worsen the situation exponentially, so he was sort of stuck.

After a while of going back and forth with himself, he came to the conclusion that he needed to change into the more caring boyfriend you deserved—soft spoken and sensitive to your emotions.

Although you had known what you had been getting into with his blatantly brash personality, he figured that actually dating him now and seeing it up close constantly were simply too much, and he really liked you so a bit of compromise here and there wouldn’t hurt.

But when he consciously lowered his voice, there seemed quite a few possibilities of what would happen.

You would likely seemingly relax and listen to his soothing tone at first, something he enjoyed because of the soft smile that would paint your features, but then it seemed as though you would snap back to reality, remembering that this was Bakugou Katsuki—resident hothead—who was suddenly using his “inside voice” unprompted, and would give him a suspicious look, as though you thought he was planning to reveal this had all been the cover up for some sort of trick.

You always seemed to catch yourself when you did that though and would look embarrassed, turning away and excusing yourself, as though hoping he hadn’t noticed your shift in emotion—which he thought was fucking stupid because of course he’s going to notice if something is up (he was always watching for little details when it came to you, admiring the tiny things that made you up because he was head over heels in love).

(Truth be told, you had had one too many startling surprises in your last relationship where you thought things were going good and finally getting back to normal, until you realized it had all been a trick—a sinister grin coating the face of your ex being all the confirmation you needed to realize how naive you had been. They always seemed to love watching your face crumble in mortified realization.)

(Every time you thought about that now around Katsuki, you always felt so guilty even associating him with something so horrible that you always had to step away and take a moment to breathe and re-organize your thoughts.)

(Under your breath, you always mumbled a quiet ‘sorry’ as you walked away, even though you knew he couldn’t hear you. It made you feel better—someone like him didn’t deserve to be remembered alongside something so horrible.)

Eventually, Katuski had enough. He had no idea what to do at this point. Perhaps you really didn’t like being around him all that much?

Your contact prior to dating had been frequent since you two were good friends, but it had been fairly controlled and in minimal amounts compared to the long hours you frequently spent stuck to each other’s sides now. Maybe he was better off just being your friend.

You seemed to think that his rough exterior could be funny at times, especially because you liked to poke fun at him a lot, and found it overall charming how it roped back into his determined mindset.

Funny—that’s what it was. You could joke around playfully with him easily, but it seemed that when it came to a stable, (hopefully) long-term relationship, that sort of thing just wouldn’t cut it. The relationship was fairly new but he was already totally flubbing it. He couldn’t keep acting like your “friend” anymore, he was supposed to be your boyfriend, so he had to up the romantic act if he really wanted to make that clear.

But then you didn’t seem to be at ease if he tried being a lot more gentle though, so what should he do?

There wasn’t much else remaining as an option but to ask you directly what you wanted from him.

He didn’t want to make you unhappy, but if it was true that you two weren’t compatible in that way well… maybe he would have to… lose this one. And he never lost.

It was his attitude of striving for perfection and for a winning outcome in this relationship that he set aside his fear of the unknown and instead put you first.

A quiet evening front of the T.V.—you staying over at his house for an impromptu movie night—had the scene perfectly set for him asking you once and for all what was wrong.

He’d made a pact with himself—if you seemed even the slightest bit unsure, he’d… maybe have to let you go. But only for your own sake. He knew it was very likely he just wasn’t made for love, versus everyone else he knew that seemed very in-tune with both theirs and others emotions.

A commercial break had him drawing in a deep breath, your head shifting comfortably against his chest as he breathed in and you closed your eyes briefly as you felt the comforting rise and fall—only to snap your eyes back open within seconds once you heard his next words. That breath hadn’t been one of quiet comfort on a romantic evening, it had been him inhaling all of the courage in the room that he could before he asked you the question that had been burning in his chest for so long—“What’s wrong?”

It came out as more like a whisper than he would have liked and he almost wished it had been drowned out by the generic ad that was currently flashing across the screen, but of course with his luck it hadn’t. At least it was out in the air now, waiting for you to strike it down from the sky and puncture it with your answer.

A few beats of silence passed and he wasn’t sure if you were going to answer—wondering if you had even heard it—but truthfully you were trying to figure out if you had heard him correctly. You decided to play it safe. “What do you mean?”

Katuski wasn’t sure what else you wanted him to say—he’d done his best, you knew he wasn’t good with this sort of thing. “Don’t play dumb, babe, you know what I’m talking about.”

Unfortunately, his voice was louder this time, mostly from his irritation at not knowing what to do to get you to tell him. But then you were slinking away from the arm he had wrapped around you, breath caught in your throat. “Kat…”

“Wait, fuck, stop, fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap like that.” The words tumbled out of his mouth and he was quick to gather you back up in his arms, turning to face you on the couch. “I’m just… I’m just worried about you, baby. Is it something I’m doing? I know I’m not always the perfect boyfriend so… if you want to break up…” You had to rush to stop him from finishing, the mere thought of that tugging at your heartstrings.

And so it was there, on that same couch you had spent so many afternoons together as friends falling in love with each other, that you tearfully told him about your last relationship—a shameful past you wished to completely forget, erase, pretend didn’t exist. But Katsuki coaxed it out of you gently, the light murmur of the T.V. with it’s volume low in the background (you had asked him not to turn it completely off, afraid of what the deafening silence would bring forth in you) and you felt so, so good despite the tears dripping down your face. So fucking happy to finally get it out. And when you had finally said your piece, he was on you in seconds, warm arms encasing you and your face firmly pressed into his t-shirt, the fabric already quickly dampening from your crying, and that felt like home.

As Katuski comforted you, he was internally fuming with anger—he was careful not to let it show and accidentally end up stressing you out further, but once his reassurances of how he would never, in a million years, ever want to hurt you seemed to ease you back down to Earth—you even managing to crack a smile that made his heart do somersaults—he was already composing a plan to track down the idiot that had hurt you.

He would be extra clingy in the coming days, which was saying a lot for your boyfriend who normally liked to grumble about how stop, you’re bothering him, no hugs right now while simultaneously pulling you closer to him every single time.

If it was someone he knew, next time he saw them he wouldn’t hesitate to pull them aside and unleash a slew of threats that were definitely not empty in meaning. He had a reputation and he knew how to use it, sadistic satisfaction creeping across his face in the form of a smirk as he watched the other person cower, withering under his intense gaze.

He restrained himself and didn’t resort to violence, as much as he would have liked, knowing that you would be more upset with him if you found out he had punched your ex’s lights out and risked getting in trouble just because of you.

You always encouraged him to be a better person and rise above letting others get to him, so it was only because you were such a nice person that the person who had hurt you was able to get away with all of their teeth still in tact after facing your explosive boyfriend—and Katsuki made sure to tell them you were the reason too. Making sure to let them know that they had lost the best person in the world and even in spite of all they had put you through you more forgiving than you ever should have been.

And if it wasn’t someone he already knew? Well, it wouldn’t be long until the two got acquainted. Katsuki was smart enough to figure out who exactly it was using his grapevine of connections and it wasn’t long until he was pulling aside the person for a little talk that went similar to the one he would give if he already knew them.

Whoever hurts you would never be allowed back in your life as long as he has a say in the matter, and while sometimes you may be more forgiving towards most people than he is (it’s really not that hard to surpass him in this aspect), he makes sure to put down his foot when it comes to even giving your ex an ounce of kindness that would let them think that everything is fine now, the past is forgotten, and that they were justified in their action. Yeah, no fucking way did they deserve closure.

Katsuki is usually stubborn, but he bends easily when it comes to you—even if it comes with a bit of complaining once in a while—although this matter? Just let him have his way with this. He’s just trying to protect you, even if he knows you can handle yourself well. That’s just the way it is between you two. You give each other the space to do whatever the other wants, but at the same time, if either of you sees the other person going astray and about to make a terrible decision, a little reality check is well deserved.

Any guilt or doubt you may feel accompanied by worrying if you were too harsh to your ex when you ended on bad terms would be immediately stomped out by Katsuki followed by his attempts at motivational words (paired with a string of curses every so often) and a (huge) sprinkle of slandering your ex’s name. The whole thing was pretty endearing, especially because you could tell he was really trying, plus his insults about anyone who ever hurt you (not just your ex) were always funny to listen to.

He looked cute when he was mad, you had to admit, and with your mood greatly improved, you really have no choice but to give your boyfriend a kiss, both to shut him up and as a thank you. The short press of your lips against his would have him leaning in for more before you could even fully pull away. You never knew how long you spent in each other’s arms like that, your heart soaring higher every moment with amazement that this was finally your life, but you did know that you gave Katuski countless kisses within that time frame—each one yet another silent thank you for being your rock through thick and thin, cheesiness be damned.

Todoroki Shouto

Shouto knew he was reserved at times—never wanting to burden you with his troubles or have you worry alongside him about some trivial thing he suddenly decided had some semblance of importance. But he was trying, okay? He knew you knew that.

If anything, he confided in you the most out of anyone else in his life. His hidden thoughts about certain subjects were easily spilled when you two were alone and talking, the words flooding out of his mouth and crashing in waves over the remains of the crumbled walls you had broken down in him. His insignificant worries became easy to discuss with you and you always smoothed over his fears—in fact it usually hurt more not to tell you things now than it did to just keep it all bottled up.

Displays of affection increased in boldness as his comfort grew with you—no longer silently wondering to himself if you thought his professions of love were too much, or if you were simply being nice to him when you returned his spontaneous kisses.

He felt a sense of security with you that had warmth coiling around his heart with every smile you gave him, a new feeling that both left him pondering the implications late into the night while simultaneously lulling him to sleep with the comfort it brought. It was confusing and he absolutely loved it.

Once he got over his initial reservations about entering a relationship, Shouto was able to see you for what you really were—someone who genuinely loved him. There was no doubt about it and he felt silly for ever questioning your bond at the start and thinking you would ever want to leave him for someone better any time soon.

As he shared more with you, slowly letting himself be consumed by your presence, your unwavering support became more and more apparent.

He was someone you trusted even before you officially started dating, sure (you two had had your fair share of late night over sharing more times than he’d like to admit), but this was different. Relationships could make or break anything. He had seen it himself with his parents after all.

It was terrifying at first, like falling in an endless black hole, but once he let himself relax—really lean into the fall—he came to appreciate the weightlessness, the wind carding through his hair.

Something still felt off though. Not necessarily wrong per say—nothing was ever wrong when you were around as far as he was concerned.

Shouto doesn’t know exactly when it was that he noticed it—it may have been when you dodged a question about what you did over the weekend, or maybe when you didn’t offer details about your own thoughts on a particular hero rescue mission video you two had seen online, or maybe it was the way you seemed painfully conscious of watching how much you revealed about your plans for the future. Or maybe it was a combination of all of those things.

Whatever it was, it was obvious you were hiding parts of yourself, almost as if you didn’t want to get too attached to him—that couldn’t be right, could it?

You really did seem to like him and he didn’t think he had misjudged your affection, but the more Shouto thought about it the more he realized how little he truly knew about you. It was as if you were prepared to disappear from his life at the drop of a hat. What was going on?

Once it became apparent to him, he began to notice it more and more, doubt creeping up in his mind with each and every incident. How had he never noticed this before? Perhaps it was because you revealed enough that he never questioned it—most surface level things seemed fair game, more or less, but it was the deeper things you seemed hesitant to share. The things in your life you held near and dear to your heart were always hidden under convoluted answers that blanketed the fact that everything you were saying was intentionally vague.

He had to get to the bottom of this and soon, otherwise he was sure he would combust from the overthinking.

Shouto was fairly straightforward and blunt at times, so he asked you point blank one night as you two sat out on his porch swing one night, facing his backyard with a giant blanket draped over both of you as you curled your legs up on the swing under it and leaned back on the array of fluffy pillows lining the back of the swing. The night was clear and the stars glimmered in the sky, which was the whole reason you two had planned this little “date” anyway—to do a bit of casual stargazing while relaxing together and enjoying each other’s presence.

Shouto couldn’t seem to completely relax though. There was something that kept tugging at his mind.

“You didn’t answer the question.” The biting statement had come out soft because he didn’t mean to sound like he was outright accusing you of anything, but you seemed to tense up all the same, turning to look at him bewildered.

‘Is it really that big a deal?’ he wondered. You seemed apprehensive at him “catching you,” as though being forced to reveal the information to him would have some sort of terrible consequence.

“W-what?” You blinked at him and he turned to fully face you, rather than glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.

“I asked if you ended up going to the arcade or amusement park last weekend. I remember you told me that none of your friends could agree on which one to choose,” he said simply, eyebrows furrowing in confusion now—for some reason, he didn’t think it would go like this. You were reacting differently from how he thought you would, seeming more paranoid and anxious than ever. It made him worried. He genuinely wanted to know the answer as well. He had been contemplating an amusement park date, having heard his fair share of others gushing about sharing a romantic Ferris wheel ride at the end of the day, and he’d like to know if you enjoyed the experience if you did go, if you’d like to go with him if you didn’t end up going with your friends, or if he shouldn’t take you there at all because you’d already went and didn’t want to go back again.

“Um…” You looked away from him and back up at the stars illuminating the sky—your eyes swiped over them as you tried to count a few and calm the racing in your heart. “We, uh… we didn’t end up going to either of them. I just went over to one of their houses for a pizza night with two of the others. Not that many people, don’t worry.” That last detail of not interacting with a ton of people seemed important to include for you, but Shouto was simply puzzled by the way you spoke it—as though you were trying to convince him you hadn’t done anything wrong, rather than just mentioning as a causal detail. The emphasize on it had him wracking his brain, trying to decipher what cryptic meaning there was behind your words.

“Oh… but I saw you with a wristband when you came back. I just didn’t get to see if it said it was from the arcade or from the amusement park.”

It wasn’t like he was trying to set a trap for you—he had just simply remembered at that moment the purple band wrapped snugly around your wrist when you came back from your hang out session—the telltale sign of an admission bracelet to some sort of event. You were allowed to have fun of course—hell, he didn’t care, he wasn’t much of one to try and stop you from doing what you wanted anyway. He was just curious. To you though, the words took on a completely different meaning as you searched for the underlying truth of what he was really thinking and you felt cornered and small with the presentation of this new information. It was suffocating. What would he do now that he knew you lied?

“Ah… yeah, I forgot about that… must’ve slipped my mind…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say much more, not sure what else you would say anyway.

You glanced back at him and could see that he was still watching you. You looked away quickly, heart beating fast.

You heard him breath out through his nose and you could tell he was thinking. “It’s okay. You didn’t have to tell me. I was just wondering,” he spoke quietly and you instantly felt bad for hurting him like that and making him think you didn’t want to talk to him.

“Shouto, I-” You let the words die on your tongue, not knowing where you were going with them anyway.

“(Y/N)… you know, truthfully, I’ve been noticing it a lot.” You were looking at him fully now while his gaze was focused downwards, playing with the soft fabric of the blanket that was keeping you two warm. “You don’t have to tell me things if you don’t want to. It just feels like there’s a lot you’re not telling me. I just wanted to ask why. At first I thought it was just once or twice it happened, but now I see there’s a lot of little details I don’t know about you.” He was back to staring at you now, blanket still clenched between his hands as his fingers continuously soothed over the fabric. “Is there anything I can do better? I don’t know if you feel comfortable around me… but I feel comfortable around you if that helps…”

It was as though you were in a trance as you listened to him speak, hanging onto each and every word, and you bit your tongue lightly to break you out of your speechlessness and shake yourself back to reality.

You sighed and shifted uncomfortably in your seat, running your finger along the seam of one of the pillows you were leaning back against. “I, uh… just have a hard time trusting people… I don’t know…”

Shouto took your hesitation as a sign that he was digging into something much deeper than he originally thought and he decided he shouldn’t force it—if it really was something deeper than a surface level bump in a relationship that could be solved relatively quickly, then he would give you the time to tell him on your own.

He felt like such a jerk for how he brought it up—it seemed that this was tied to a deep issue and a sensitive topic for you and he had just brought it up like it was nothing. What kind of boyfriend was this obvious to your struggles?

He released his grip on the blanket and looked back at the stars, choosing instead now to fidget with his hair, running his fingers through it twice before realizing he should probably stop doing that. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but… I’d like to be someone you could trust.” He planned to leave it at that, aside from apologizing later again and showering you with affection, hoping you could forgive his embarrassing moment of pure insensitively and selfishness. His plans of how to smooth over the tension hanging thick in the air were put on hold though when he heard you speak again.

“No… you know what? You deserve to know. I’m sorry for all of this. I do trust you. I don’t know what got into me. If anything, I trust you the most to tell about this. I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner.” Your bitter laugh at the end surprised him and he met your eyes. With you both looking at each other, you felt emboldened and ready to make the truth known.

You reached over to lace his fingers with yours and he let you, automatically moving so he could sit closer to you. “(Y/N)?”

“Shouto…” And with that you revealed the true reason you had always been so careful with your words around him, the source of your guardedness, and the experience that left your heart wounded—your last relationship.

Shouto, already having berated himself before for approaching the situation so brashly, knew to stay quiet now and let you speak, only reacting with twists of his face in shock, horror, or disgust because he was appalled that anyone would ever treat you like that. He could feel his blood boiling.

At last you were done—your hands staying intertwined and resting on the blanket between you two the whole time—and just in time too, because he couldn’t take any more of hearing the heart-wrenching things you had been through. And yet here you were, still standing strong after having experienced it. Meanwhile, just the words and the way the vivid descriptions came to life in his mind were enough to make him reel, thoughts flashing back to his own childhood.

As you had spoken, you two had somehow shifted closer together, the proximity comforting you as you told the story. Now Shouto closed the distance to reach over and pull you firmly into his arms, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You could feel the soft brush of his lips there and his warm breath as he held you close, causing you to shiver involuntarily. You blinked for a second, shocked at his sudden display of affection, before tightly wrapping your arms around him as well. The tears you had been holding in the whole time and masking under your wavering words full with emotion all flowed out now, the dam broken and nothing holding you back from sobbing against his shoulder.

Shouto was apologizing for how harsh he had been with you before and you could tell he really meant it—it sounded like he was mentally beating himself up over the whole thing and he was. He felt even more stupid now. Something this serious and he had never pick up on it? He really felt like the worst and vowed to always protect you. His own childhood trauma had left him with no one to console him and he refused for the same to happen to you. Neither of you were sure which one of you started it, but there was a constant back and forth of “I love you”s professed as you sat there, tangling in each other’s arms. That little reminder meant everything to you.

Now that Shouto knew why you seemed to have difficulty telling him things, he knew not to try to pry information out of you, but rather let you know you had his constant trust and support, hoping that you would slowly come of your shell yourself—and you did, feeling as though you were able to be more open with him now. His reassurances that he would never try to control you in any way set your mind at ease and with each day that passed you felt lighter and more carefree, no longer cherry picking at your speed and wondering what you should say.

It took a bit for you to break out of the habit that you had so carefully accumulated and improved to protect yourself, but Shouto was patient and willing to help, and you found yourself falling in love with him all over again.

Shouto is someone with a lot of power, influence, and money at his disposal, all thanks to his father—as much as he hated to admit it (although he would say that it came in handy at times like this). He would never outright tell you that he now had a personal bone to pick with your ex but… let’s just say you won’t have to worry about accidentally running into them ever again.

It’s likely you may not even notice the change, having already cut that person completely out of your life and being used to avoiding them like the plague or flat out ignoring them.

Although if you did notice them appearing less in your life, you may mention it offhandedly to him, maybe even questioning him if he knew anything about it.

He would answer cryptically, either saying “Huh, that is strange,” or “Don’t worry about it,” if you were eyeing him suspiciously, taking a sip from the cup of tea he had been nursing in order to hide the small, knowing smile that he couldn’t keep off of his face.

Kirishima Eijirou

Eijirou had always been a touchy guy, and you knew this, yet it still didn’t make it any easier to completely relax when you were snuggled against his chest, or when he would drape an arm around you without warning.

During the dates you had gone on before officially entering a relationship, he was always careful with his touches, but still made mild gestures—asking if he could hold your hand, or sometimes resting his hand on the small of your back when leading you out of a restaurant. You liked that—his touches were sincere and made you feel wanted again. He really was perfect.

A gentleman at heart it seemed, Eijirou was always respectful, yet those baby steps towards increased physical contact still set your heart aflame, no matter how hard you tried to stomp the fire out and remind yourself to be careful, heart beating fast because what did you do to deserve something so wonderful (it was the type of adoration that seemed to continuously bloom, beginning from the very first time you met him).

It took a while before he worked up the courage to ask you to put a label on whatever it was that you two had. He had sensed your cautiousness from the start when you two went on your first date—although he didn’t know the true reason behind why you were so closed off to love—and he had kept that initial impression of you in mind the entire time.

Usually he was one for breaking down barriers, pushing past the tough exteriors of others, and he did the same to you, but he also knew the guarded feeling you carried seemed different and he didn’t want to pry, so he was careful in his approaches.

Those slow steps that you loved so much from the start (the small touches and the gradual opening up to each other), truly resulted because 1.) he really was a gentleman (you were correct in that assumption), but 2.) unbeknownst to you, his mind was always working around you and when he picked up on your initial coldness (you may try to hide it, but he knows how to read people well), he made sure to be extra careful when it came to advancing things with you.

Forwardness cast aside, he took things at the pace you wanted, hesitant to ask you the burning question to make it all completely official in case that scared you off. He absolutely loved you and it would take him forever to get over it if he really did mess this up.

There was also the issue of him not wanting to wait too long and make you think he was stringing you along or wasting your time. He wanted to make his intentions clear sooner rather than later, but it always felt too soon and he was constantly trying to gauge your reactions.

Stuck in this limbo, Eijirou ended up asking you to be in a relationship before he even truly realized what he was saying.

Hanging out together on yet another fairy tale date, the thought occurred to him that with the way you two were already so close, to not be dating would be pretty weird. It was the obvious next step now more than ever.

And then the words were tumbling out of his mouth before he even realized it and you were laughing—his heart sunk for a moment at that because oh my god he’s so stupid no way you’d actually want to date him, he’d totally misread the situation, but also sent his heart fluttering because your laugh and smile and everything about you was so cute and beautiful and amazing and-).

His fears were put to rest when you leaned over to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, lacing your fingers with his where they rested on the park bench you two were currently sitting on, laughter still spilling out of you, although a bit more controlled now.

You told him that honesty? You thought you two were basically dating already and he was just the type to not say anything and just assume you knew, so you’d been going along with it this whole time.

His mouth was hanging open at first, but then a giant dopey grin crossed his face and you were wrapped up in his arms, pulled to his chest in a bear hug.

You sighed contentedly—this felt right.

Your floating on cloud nine didn’t last forever though and soon you were spiraling back down to Earth, plummeting harder towards it than you had floated up.

It seemed that now that things had been said out loud and it was confirmed that you were really together, the whole thing began to weigh a little heavily on your heart. You were still head over heels in love, and being with him was definitely what you wanted to do, but you couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if you accidentally did something wrong and completely ruined everything, whether due to your paranoia grating on his nerves eventually (as patient as he had proven to be, you knew everyone had their limits) or because he simply got fed up with you and things turned out like last time.

You had deluded yourself into believing you were fine before, but you really knew that the only reason you allowed yourself to be so comfortable around him during those first few dates was because he hadn’t officially asked you out yet. Now that he had and this relationship was a real thing, your breath caught in your throat the more you thought about how things went the last time—it had started off just like this, perfect… maybe even too perfect.

Eijirou wasn’t like that, you knew it, but you kept wondering what if this is the day that the switch flips?

Stuck in your own mind over the issue and reluctant to talk it out left you jumpy around your new boyfriend—fuck, you hated it, but you couldn’t stop your body from reacting before you mind could soothe it with rational thoughts that he was one of the most caring people, if not the most caring person, you have ever met.

He, of course, took the whole thing wonderfully like the perfect person he is, even if he didn’t know the real reason why you suddenly seemed so opposed to physical contact, just causing you to feel worse because how could you keep making him think that this was his fault.

Hugs, hand holding, and cuddling on the couch still seemed among his favorite things. You liked them too—the security and warmth was addicting—but what had been normal during the pre-dating phase, now became a sore spot for you.

You had felt butterflies at this touches before (now you wondered if perhaps the reason that you were able to lean easily into those touches were because you could just imagine he was one of your friends—a hot friend with soft lips who you kind of, sort of wanted to spend forever with—rather than some guy that held your heart in his hands), but now your mind was kicked into overdrive each and every time.

There were times where he would immediately pull away if you seemed overly stiff and unsure, apologizing profusely. You didn’t know how to explain that it wasn’t him that was the problem—you wanted to be in his arms, protected and warm, you were just having a hard time adjusting to the intense love he always provided.

He was always so attentive, noticing if you had a distant look in your eye, asking you what was on your mind. You felt bad, absolutely horrible. Why were you always so tense around him? You had taken time to heal on your own, waiting a while before getting back into the dating scene. You knew what you needed, you knew how much time you needed, and you most of all knew that you didn’t need some big strong guy to save you from your thoughts. You just needed him to understand that. You thought you could forget the past, bury it—you were independent and didn’t need the support.

You briefly wondered for a while if perhaps you weren’t as ready for a relationship right now as you thought—maybe you need more time?

But then that idea was immediately squashed—no, you would not let what happened to you rule your life any longer. You deserved to have someone as great as Eijirou, and he deserved someone as amazing as you, and most of all, you really, really liked him. And it was because of the reasons you liked him—his caring attitude, his innate understanding, his watchful eyes that were always soft with emotion—that you decided to take the leap and just outright tell him everything.

A quiet evening of domesticity felt like the right time—a relaxed mood set as you two winded down from the day at his house. You were seated across the kitchen table from one another with him typing on his laptop and occasionally pausing to scroll or contemplate something (he would interlace his fingers, elbows propped up on the table and hands resting against his lips with a small frown before his eyes suddenly lit up with an answer to whatever question had been plaguing his mind). You, on the other hand, you very much attempting to write in your notebook, but so far all you had accomplished was to mark the edges of the pages with senseless scribbles, not even able to bring yourself to properly doodle little stars or hearts like you usually would.

You flicked your pen between your fingers, either quietly tapping it against the blank page in front of you (you wanted to tap it against the table to hear the satisfying thumping of the wood, but you didn’t want to disturb Eijirou) or against your cheek. You could feel his eyes on you every so often when he would very briefly glance up. He probably thought you were deep in concentration because he never said anything about your troubled look, although it seemed like he wanted to. Ah, damn, you really did love him—why was he always so caring, even if it came in little gestures like this? You hid a smile to yourself as you thought about how at times he could seem conflicted between always checking up on you but also loving to watch you work. Cute.

Truth be told, you were deep in concentration, but it wasn’t about what he thought it was. Rather, your initial concentration had been broken so many times by your incessant thoughts that you finally decided to give them the attention they had been demanding. There was no way you could work like this, as told by the tug on your heartstrings. There was really only one thing to do at a time like this and you just knew it was the right time. It’s now or never.

You chewed on the tip of the pen cap for a second in quiet contemplation, before steeling yourself and speaking. “Hey, um… can I talk to you about something?” You didn’t tear your gaze away from the page in front of you—eyes tracing the lines of scribbles as though they would give you courage—until you had finished your sentence. The words rang in your ears as they pierced the comfortable silence that had only been broken by small noises of shuffling before. As the last syllable slipped out, you looked up, watching to see what he would do.

Eijirou snapped his head up to you with wide eyes and blinked. “Of course, babe, what’s up?” He shoved his laptop to the side, but then after a quick moment seemed to decide that wasn’t enough and pushed the top down for good measure to make sure you knew you one hundred percent had his attention.

His immediate reaction to your words was both because he had heard the ting of worrying in your voice—your tone serious—and also because he always hung onto your every word anyway, always listening carefully to what you had to say. His attention was always yours.

You glanced away from his intense gaze and hummed in thought, twirling your pen around. You motioned for him to come sit next to you, which he did without hesitation, rounding the table and pulling out the chair next to you with a quiet squeak against the floor. While he did that, you pushed out your chair a bit also so you could comfortably turn to face him at your side.

As he sat down, he dragged his chair closer to yours until they were almost touching, and then when you pulled your legs up and angled yourself so you could sit crossed legged on your chair, he did the same, taking your cue—he was watching your moves so carefully, wondering what was wrong, that he mimicked the action barely thinking. Your knees rubbed together and you cracked a smile at that—one he mirrored—but then your solemn expression returned.

A deep breath and you let the pen slip from between your fingers, roll out of your hand, and land back on your still open and still embarrassingly blank notebook. Then, you turned to look Eijirou in the eye, determined not to back down now, and gave him another small grin to set his nerves at ease because he looked so worried (once again, cute).

“So…” And that was the shaky, uncertain word you began on before your story began to flow out of you, the words whistling past your lips with gradually increasing confidence as you went on—the way you saw it was that even if it was hard, you had gotten this far in the retelling so you might as well see it through. It took a lot of willpower, but you had set your mind to this and would not allow the past to ruin your current relationship. Eijirou was silent throughout it, although just having him there and watching his facial expressions (twisting in anger, sorrow, disbelief, and million other emotions that you didn’t know the names of but could feel deep in your heart with just one glance at him) was enough to keep you grounded and continuing to let it all out.

Despite your best efforts, tears managed to escape your eyes, increasing in ferocity the deeper you went , but you quickly wiped them away—a signal to him to just wait, give you a moment, you could handle this, even though it was very clear that he simply wanted to comfort you.

And then, as abruptly as you had started, you were done, the last tortured word coming out. “And, um, here we are I guess…,” you simply shrugged as you awkwardly tried to wrap up your monologue. “I don’t know…”

Eijirou was quiet for a moment, lips slightly parted, as though he was waiting for you to say something else and he didn’t want to accidentally interrupt you and stop the stream of raw emotions you had been so vulnerable to share and entrust with him—he wanted to know everything about what had been torturing this whole time so you would no longer have to step on eggshells around him. When you breathed out a deep sigh of relief, chest suddenly feeling airy and light, your head clear, only then did he accept that you were done and ready for his reaction.

He almost reached out immediately to pull you to his chest, but stopped himself quickly before his arms could even shoot out. You could see how his hand had twitched from where it lay in his lap—it was about to reach out, but he had stopped it almost right away, and it was clear that he really wanted to wrap you in a hug right now. As much as he wanted that though, he also knew that he didn’t want to suddenly grab you after you had just opened up to him and relived that horrible experience in your mind.

Memories of when he had so casually pulled you to his chest before without knowing what was wrong filled his head and he felt so guilty. How could he never have noticed this before? Would you even want his comfort right now?

You found his current display of just wanting to be supportive endearing though and gave him a slight nod to signal that it was okay. That was all the confirmation he needed before he had you pressed against him, arms tight as they looped around your back and warmth radiating from his chest. You took a breath in and could smell the soft, comforting scent that he always seemed to carry. Just being held like this as he rubbed soothing circles on your back with his thumb seemed to open the floodgates and soon you were openly sobbing, embarrassed because he had never seen you like this before, but also feeling encouraged to finally let everything out as he coaxed the tears out of you with quiet murmurs of “It’s okay, babe,” and “I’ve got you, baby.”

Not long later, after you guys had both calmed down—you from the overwhelming emotions that had taken over you, and him from his anger at your ex and his heart-aching feelings at thinking about what you had been through—you two were cuddled up in his bed.

Eijirou had made you a hot cup of tea and after you had chosen to burrow under the blankets, he followed suit as you asked him to join you (he was still being cautious about not doing anything you didn’t want).

You two discussed your relationship and what the new information you had shared meant for you both. Assurances of how much you loved each other were sprinkled throughout the conversation and Eijirou said he would ease up on the spontaneous touches for a little bit until you felt more comfortable (they still weren’t completely gone though because you loved them—it’s just that he now knew to be a little more cautious about that sort of thing), and you made sure to let him know that all those times you had tensed up before hadn’t been because of him but rather because of your memories. He knew what to look out for now and as observant he was about you, you knew that he would even pick up small cues of discomfort, although you could already feel yourself slowly letting go of your tension.

Now that you had explained everything and that weight was off of your chest, you felt so much better. Plus, hearing him directly assure you that he would never dare to hurt you like that gave you a feeling of relief and greater trust in him. Just something about you being open about the whole thing made you feel that things could finally be normal now.

Your suspicions were right, things were a lot better after that, and Eijirou could tell that you saw physical touches as a sign of comfort now, rather than something you had an internal struggle with, and through slow steps again like you had taken at the start, you were able to get to a place where you no longer felt apprehensive about the topic.

Eijirou would be your protective safety blanket whenever you needed it, although he also knew you were strong-willed and didn’t always need his help either, so he was content staying on the sidelines if you really seemed like you could work through something on your own, although he was always ready to comfort you if need be.

The tipping point when it was really confirmed that Eijirou would protect you no matter what it was when you two ran into your ex at a convenience store one day.

Eijirou was browsing the snack aisles not that far from you while you were looking over the sweets they had lining the counter near the door. You could still see each other over the top of the mini-aisles since the shelves were short, and Eijirou was talking to you about all the snacks he was contemplating on getting, asking your opinion as you occasionally replied to his chatter over your shoulder, piling the things you wanted into your arms as he no doubt did the same.

You were about to call back out to him and turned to look over your shoulder, stepping towards his direction automatically, having found one of his favorite flavors of a certain sweet you two always ate, when you noticed someone standing behind you, probably looking at the shelves for things they wanted as well since the place was pretty small and everything was cramped together.

“Oh, ah, sorry…” You awkwardly turned back to what you were doing, tucking the package of what you were going to show Eijirou under your arm to bring to him later, and shifting away so that the other person would have more room to continue shopping, feeling a little embarrassed. You hadn’t noticed their presence before because you had been so busy eyeing all of the delicious goods right in front of you.

“Hm? Oh, that’s alright,” they replied nonchalantly and you just nodded silently and gave them a small smile and a sideways glance in response.

You froze when you saw that they were looking back at you intensely and recognition flooded your senses. You knew that voice sounded familiar, plus when you had glanced at them before when you first bumped into them something seemed to ring a bell but you had simply brushed it off.

While you were filled with instant dread at realizing who it was, the other person, now able to see your face clearly, seemed to light up with delight at seeing that it was really you—as if they had just run into an old friend. “(Y/N)! Woah, is that you? Long time no see!” What was your ex doing here? What were the chances? It just seemed like the universe cursed you with bad luck.

You could vaguely make out Eijirou’s voice under the ringing in your ears as you took a step back, away from your ex—which they just seemed to take as cue to turn more fully towards you, both of you now facing each other.

Eijirou seemed to have noticed you not replying and came over to you, arms piled high with bags of chips and other packages of both of your favorite snacks. “What’s wrong, babe? Ooo, what’s that you’re holding, it looks g-” He paused, having followed your gaze to see you staring at another person, and finally noticing the newcomer just as they went on talking about how great it was to see you. Eijirou took this as a cue that you knew this person. “Who’s this? One of your friends?” he asked with a grin, looking back at you.

You ignored his question, unable to think, and shakily greeted the mysterious person back. Eijirou could tell something was wrong, but he didn’t know what. But then you said the name of the other person in your greeting and something clicked in his mind—that was the name of your ex. How could he have forgotten? The memory of when you had told him all of the horrible things they had done to you was now at the forefront of his mind and he swiftly moved in front of you, gripping his snacks closely to his chest to prevent them from toppling out of his arms at the sudden movement. His warm expression had melted into one of distaste, glaring at the person in front of both of you, blocking them off from your path.

Eijirou tried to get your ex to leave peacefully with thinly veiled threats, making it know he knew exactly who they were and what they had done to you, but your ex fought back, saying that they were simply talking to you and refusing to go just yet. You were cowering behind Eijirou, still shell shocked, and tugging on his arm lightly, trying to get him to just forget about it and leave with you, not feeling up to deal with conflict of any sort right now, especially any involving your ex of all people.

“Who the hell are you anyway?” your ex bit out, fire in their eyes.

“Me? You mean the boyfriend who’s about to beat a nobody like you’s ass?” You could see how Eijirou’s fists clenched as he said that, packaging crinkling under his fingers.

Your ex scoffed and peered around Eijirou to look directly at you. “Boyfriend, huh? Can’t believe you managed to snag someone else.”

You had to grab Eijirou to hold him back after he heard that comment, trying to juggle your mountain of snacks in one arm while firmly gripping onto him with your free hand.

The look in your eyes when he glanced over at you in confusion and the way you refused to let him go made it clear that you didn’t want him to get in trouble just for you.

That didn’t stop him from slandering the other person with a healthy dose of threats though and despite your ex’s stubbornness, Eijirou finally managed to get them off your back. You two quickly paid for everything you had already picked up and left the store not long after. Eijirou would make sure to shoot your ex one final warning glare if they were still in the store or if he saw them right outside.

Expect him to check up on you after the incident as soon as you’re far away enough from the store, offering to carry all of the bags for you and do whatever you needed him to do. “Are you okay, babe?” he would ask and would keep assuring you that he loved you and would never let that person near you ever again until he was sure that you had calmed down. He had seen the panic-stricken expression on your face back there and never wanted to witness it ever again. A kiss on the temple would be his way of sealing the deal and his promises to keep you safe.

Following that day, if you still had any previous reservations about your boyfriend’s loyalty, they all dissipated after seeing how fired up and serious Eijirou had become when it came to protecting you. He would give you all the comfort you needed after the run-in if you were still shaken up and would be very clingy and attentive. He would give you space if you asked, but would be at your beck and call for a while, wanting to ease the pain of the traumatic experience.

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ve got you and I’ll never let you go,” he would mumble into the top of your shoulder as he held you close, hands on your sides and thumbs slowly soothing the skin there with small strokes. And you completely believed him with all of your heart, and your trust was the best thing he could ever ask for and receive from you.

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