#this was so much fun! i made myself take it easy and not go overboard with the colorings

[allcolorbut-theblack]

pls be my valentine

[oldiesstationlover11607]

hey i’ve never requested anything from you but ive been devouring your works and holy cow you’re such a great writer!

i was just wondering if you could do a josh x plus size reader? i usually don’t see povs where the readers size is specifically larger than average? idk? it’d just be nice for my self esteem 😭

Movie night - Josh Dun x Plus sized!Reader

Warnings: none really super fluffy

Word Count: 1689

A/N: I hope this is okay! I haven't written for a specifically plus sized reader before so hopefully it's okay. I tend to stay away from image specific stuff bc that way everyone can enjoy the fics and feel good about themselves but anything for an anon who needs a pick me up!

It was Friday night, which meant one thing: movie night with Josh. Ever since we’d started dating, it had become a tradition. At the end of every week, we’d snuggle up on the couch, binge-watch movies, and devour far too many snacks. Sometimes we’d pick a theme—like action or rom-com—but tonight we were keeping it simple. It was just us, our favorite movies, and more snacks than two people should reasonably consume in one sitting.

I’d spent most of the day in comfy clothes, which was my go-to attire for a night in. Oversized t-shirt, leggings, and fuzzy socks. I felt comfortable in my skin around Josh—he never made me feel like I had to dress up or look a certain way. And honestly, he’d never been anything but loving and supportive, always making sure I knew just how beautiful I was to him. No matter how insecure I sometimes felt, he was always there to lift me up.

It was getting close to the time he’d promised to come over, so I busied myself by tidying up the living room. I fluffed the throw pillows, straightened the blankets, and adjusted the lighting just right—soft and warm, the way we both liked it. I’d already picked out a few movies we could choose from, ranging from lighthearted comedies to emotional dramas. We always ended up talking more than watching, but that was part of the fun.

Just as I was about to sit down, I heard a knock at the door. I smiled to myself, knowing exactly who it was. Opening the door, I was greeted by the sight of Josh, arms laden with bags—each one brimming with snacks. He had a grin on his face that was nothing short of contagious, and his excitement was clear in the way he practically bounced on his toes.

“Hey babe,” he said, leaning in to kiss my cheek as he stepped inside. His lips lingered for a second longer than usual, warm and soft against my skin.

“Hey,” I replied, closing the door behind him. “Are you trying to feed a small village or just us tonight?”

He laughed, that easy, carefree sound that always made my heart feel a little lighter. “I may have gone a little overboard, but I figured it’s better to have too much than not enough, right?”

I shook my head, already knowing what was in those bags. He always bought way too many snacks, but it was one of the things I loved most about him. He was thoughtful, always wanting to make sure I had everything I could possibly want—even if it was far more than I needed. He made me feel cared for in the smallest of ways, like remembering my favorite flavor of chips or grabbing extra candy just because he knew I had a sweet tooth.

“I’m not complaining,” I said, taking a bag from him and peeking inside. “You got my favorite candy!”

Josh winked at me. “Of course I did. I know how much you love those.”

I set the bag down on the coffee table and turned back to him, pulling him in for a proper kiss this time. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands resting on my waist as he kissed me back gently. It was the kind of kiss that made me forget everything else for a moment, just sinking into the warmth of him.

“Missed you today,” he murmured against my lips.

“I missed you too,” I replied, smiling up at him. “But I’m glad you’re here now.”

He stepped back, eyeing the stack of movies I’d left on the table. “So, what’s the plan? Are we going with something funny or are we trying to cry tonight?”

“Depends,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “How much crying are we talking about? Like ‘a single tear’ kind of crying or ‘sobbing uncontrollably into each other’s arms’ crying?”

He laughed again, his eyes crinkling at the corners in that adorable way they always did. “Maybe we stick with something in between? I’m not trying to have an emotional breakdown tonight, but I’m also up for something with a little heart.”

I nodded in agreement. “Alright, I can work with that.” I picked up one of the movies from the pile. “How about this one? It’s sweet but still funny.”

“Perfect,” he said, plopping down on the couch and patting the spot next to him. “Now come over here. I’ve got all these snacks to share, and I’m not eating them alone.”

I laughed, grabbing a blanket before joining him on the couch. I tucked myself into his side as he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close. The warmth of his body against mine was comforting, and I couldn’t help but sigh contentedly. There was something so simple yet so special about moments like this—just the two of us, no distractions, no pressure. It was our time, and it felt perfect.

We started the movie, but as expected, we were more focused on each other than the screen. Josh tore open a bag of chips, offering them to me first before taking some for himself. I reached for the candy, popping a piece into my mouth as I settled even further into his side. His hand absentmindedly played with the ends of my hair, a small gesture that always made me feel so cared for.

“You know,” he said after a while, his voice soft, “I love this. Just being here with you. I know we go out sometimes and do fun stuff, but I think this might be my favorite thing.”

I looked up at him, my heart swelling with affection. “Really?”

He nodded, his eyes meeting mine with that familiar warmth that always made me feel like the most important person in the world. “Yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love going out and doing things together, but I think there’s something special about just being with you like this. No distractions, no crowds. Just us.”

I smiled, resting my head on his shoulder. “I feel the same way.”

For a moment, we just sat there in comfortable silence, the sound of the movie playing softly in the background. I could hear the gentle rise and fall of his breathing, feel the steady beat of his heart against my side. It was peaceful, and I couldn’t help but think about how lucky I was to have someone like him in my life.

Josh shifted slightly, his arm tightening around me as he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of my head. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

I let out a soft laugh, feeling my cheeks warm at his words. “I don’t know about perfect, but I’m glad you think so.”

“I’m serious,” he said, his tone earnest. “I love everything about you. The way you laugh, the way you take care of people, the way you just… exist. You’re beautiful in every way, and I don’t ever want you to forget that.”

I felt a lump form in my throat at his words. He always knew exactly what to say to make me feel loved, even on days when I didn’t feel so great about myself. It wasn’t always easy for me to feel confident, especially being plus-sized, but Josh never once made me feel like I wasn’t enough. In fact, he went out of his way to remind me just how much he loved every part of me—something I was still learning to accept for myself.

“Thank you,” I said softly, my voice thick with emotion. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

He smiled, pressing another kiss to my head. “I’m the lucky one.”

We fell back into silence after that, but it was a comfortable one, filled with the quiet assurance that we didn’t need to fill every moment with words. The movie played on, but I couldn’t focus on it. My mind was too preoccupied with the way Josh’s hand rested on my waist, the way his fingers occasionally brushed against my skin, reminding me that he was there—that he was always there.

As the movie came to an end, I let out a contented sigh, stretching out slightly but still staying curled up next to Josh. He glanced down at me, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Want to watch another one, or are you getting tired?” he asked, his fingers still tracing lazy circles on my hip.

I considered it for a moment before shaking my head. “I think I’m good for now. I just want to sit here with you for a little longer.”

“Sounds good to me,” he replied, pulling me closer.

We stayed like that for a while, the soft glow of the TV screen casting shadows across the room. Josh’s hand found mine, intertwining our fingers as we sat together in the quiet. It was moments like these that reminded me why I loved him so much. It wasn’t just the grand gestures or the exciting adventures—it was the quiet, intimate moments where we could just be ourselves, no expectations or pretenses. Just us.

Eventually, the night grew late, and Josh helped me clean up the remnants of our snack feast. He gathered the empty chip bags and candy wrappers, all the while making me laugh with his silly comments about how we’d eaten enough to last a week.

As we finished tidying up, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with love for him. It was in the small things, the way he always made sure I was comfortable, the way he went out of his way to bring all my favorite snacks, the way he made me feel like the most important person in the world just by being himself.

And as we settled back on the couch for a final snuggle before calling it a night, I knew that I couldn’t ask for anything more. Because in that moment, with Josh’s arm wrapped around me and his heart so clearly intertwined with mine, I felt complete.

And that was more than enough.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[a-cure-for-hysteria]

A RANT ABOUT PARTY DRUGS AND PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS

(Expect little cohesion, don’t want to edit this after writing)

Another thing about medicine (both psychiatric and otherwise) is the lies we - collectively - tell ourselves about them. After seeing Dopesick on HBO, even my most conservatives relatives would agree that it’s “such a shame about that girl” and “who’s to say we wouldn’t end up like that with her life”. Basic empathy - finally - but bear with me.

The characters in Dopesick are pretty much fine until they are so tolerant or have been on Oxy so long that no doctor is willing to prescribe more. Then, they’re off to the streets, doing anything they can for oxy, heroin, later fentanyl. The only thing they had in common was some sort of injury happen to them, and a doctor sponsored by Purdue Pharma.

Personally, I have (due to a long list of diagnoses, of which none have been revoked as I got new ones, for some reason) automatically renewed prescriptions in almost all the drug categories. I have amphetamines, cannabinoids, zolpidem, pregabalin and benzodiazepines. If I ask nicely and have a good reason, I get Oxy too - luckily for me, my body has some sort of allergic reaction to opioids, so addiction is unlikely.

However, my cornucopia of legally prescribed substances is a constant, looming threat to my continued well-being, made even more so by the fact that I need them to survive. I just have to NOT go overboard. Sometimes that’s easy, sometimes it’s hard.

I’m 30-something now. I live a pretty calm life - child free with cats and a loving partner, somewhere in rural Northern Europe. Before that, I partied hard. I’ve tasted all the substances for fun (and later; out of social necessity) and let me tell you - the effect I get from a rail of amphetamine snorted from a CD cover at 02:47 AM on a Wednesday, at a party (three tweakers in a dirty apartment) I’d never attend sober… that clear, ready feeling, it’s the same as what I get from 60 mg of Vyvanse each morning.

“People with real ADHD don’t get high from their meds!” you might say. Your ignorance is forgiven. There is so much we don’t know about the brain, about ADHD (if it’s even ONE thing and not several, if it’s generic or trauma or both) and let me tell you - me being high on my meds IS what makes me do the dishes. Go to work. Remember how my partner feels before I take all the dinner scraps without asking if they’ve eaten. I am high. I have taken speed at parties and I know. Every day, I know.

There is no inherent difference between the speed you do at a party and the speed your doctor gives you. Sometimes prescribed speed is tied up with lysine, making you wait an hour before it kicks. Sometimes you get BAD speed at parties - levoamphetamine and not dextroamphetamine. Sometimes it’s cut with bad stuff. But - it’s the same. It’s the same it’s the same it’s the same.

I am as addicted as the guy living under the bridge. However, I get to call it meds and everyone is so happy about my go-getter attitude at work, and how I am a valuable asset to the company. My partner rejoices upon learning I now do my half of the chores. My mom says I seem happier, more well-adjusted. A friend tells me she considered just leaving me alone because I never seemed to get my shit together, but now my shit IS together. Nice!

I recently upped my dose from 30 to 2 x 30 mg Vyvanse. No problem - it even says so on the prescription that I can. I’ve been taking out two boxes at the pharmacy every month, but haven’t taken the correct dose since I started. I just didn’t need to, except now and then on stressful days. Now I need 60 mg, and it doesn’t even feel like 30 did in the start. What happens when 60 is no longer enough for me to feel the high that allows me to get anything done? And, am I lying to myself? Would 30 have been fine? I need, need, need the clear, ready feeling. And I need to get shit done. I need people to be happy with me.

Yes, that’s it. I need people to be happy around me. Is there a rehab for that?

[exerciseandfitnessfornoobslikeme]

I said I would "ease back into exercise" today, but I may have went a little overboard. 😅

The day started with a reunion with lifting at the gym in the morning. I didn't go too crazy, but it felt good to lift again.

They had an optional yoga session at work today around 2 pm, and I gave it a shot! It was very relaxing and made me want to try more yoga in the future. 😅

I ended the day with the final class session of boot camp. At first, I thought I was going to take it easy and try to avoid doing too much to anger my ankle. However, the exercise games we played swayed me to push myself. I had so much fun in this particular class session due to the charismatic instructors and fun classmates. I'm still mad at myself for spraining my ankle and missing a lot of class, but I'm glad I was able to do it. Now, I just need to let my ankles heal more. 😅

[oswaldthatendswald]

for the writing ask game:

besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

how you feel about your current WIP

Oh actually these go really well together. I'm going to shuffle them into groups for the flow.

do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? how do you get past that?

All the time. Perpetually. It's all well and good to say "write for yourself" (and in truth I do plenty of writing that is genuinely for myself, that I don't intend to share) but I am not posting for only myself. More precisely, when I write something with the intention to post it, I am very aware of that larger audience. It's really easy for me to get caught up in the weight of perceived expectations. I'm afraid I don't have any perfect solutions either. Sometimes talking about it with my partner helps, as she can often point out that the things I'm worried about are entirely the products of my own overthinking. Other times I just have to sit myself down and go "look, bud, you're not making any money off of this. The stakes are very low. Chill Out."

how you feel about your current WIP

Cry Havoc, my beloved. I love it so much, but I'm also very intimidated by it. It's a much bigger project than my previous fics, and (speaking of public reaction) it's also gotten a lot larger response. I'm quite nervous too, because at times it feels almost gratuitously self-indulgent-- and it definitely is. I feel at times like someone should jump out and go "hey wait a minute! You're just writing whatever the hell you want! Guards! Seize them!" But, as my partner pointed out, if other people weren't interested, they wouldn't be reading it.

Going to put the rest under the cut because this got long.

how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

Stepping away from the writing is always a good start. Working on something else-- a different story, sometimes, or a sewing project, or even just a small craft-- can be a decent reset if I still want to be creative but have run out of steam for one story. Getting out of the house and walking to the secondhand bookstore or taking a bus to the mall can help too. Other times I just need to put on a movie and turn my brain off for a while.

Bigger picture creative block, when nothing is working and I just can't put words together anymore, usually requires a more significant solution. For me, it can be really hard to tell the difference between writer's block and creative burnout, because they both manifest in not wanting/being able to write but have different causes. Writer's block, for me, usually indicates a structural problem with the story that I need to identify and work around. Creative burnout is an problem on my end, either because I've been putting too much pressure on myself or the circumstances in my life have gotten tangled up with my current writing project and made it not fun anymore. This means I need to step back and either play with stories that don't have as high stakes for me or just take a break from writing for a short period of time.

besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

I'm an upper-year undergrad in university which means that, during the semester, I'm in a frantic scramble to outrun deadlines. What free time I do have goes to writing, but when I have a spare evening, I also like watching horror movies (other genres too, I'm just on a horror kick. I like trawling through the horror category on Tubi and seeing what I can find) and sewing. I've been hand-sewing patches onto a vest and making a pouch for my planner lately, but I've gotten very little done on either project this past month.

Thank you very much for the questions! I had to think about my answers for a while and went a little bit overboard!

[megan-loves-surveys]

#51.

Name your top ten artists on Last.fm:

Ayumi Hamasaki

Girls Aloud

Blue

Five

Spice Girls

Britney Spears

Sugababes

Atomic Kitten

Little Mix

Namie Amuro

How many times have you listened to number one? 19,661

Is this your favourite band/artist? She is!!!

What got you into number one? I was curious about J-pop, so I looked up who were the most successful Japanese artists and Ayu's name kept popping up so I had to check her out.

Why the hell have you listened to them so much? Cos she's amazing, and has a HUGE discography that spans 25 years. So she has a lot of music to listen to xD

Favourite songs of number one: SCAR, Dearest, forgiveness, talkin' 2 myself, RAINBOW, criminal, rainy day, Voyage, In The Corner, INSPIRE, Marionette, HANABI, vogue, Duty, SEASONS etc.

Something you think you’d thoroughly enjoy doing with the band? Going shopping lol.

Favourite memory of the artist? I've never seen her live or anything, so I just have to say discovering her music.

How many times have you listened to number two? 18,403

What got you into them? I love girl groups and I saw the UK pop music magazines talking about them loads so I decided to check them out.

What makes you like them so much? Their discography is so strong and varied, they can sing and they're just so down to earth and fun.

Favourite songs? Untouchable, Girl Overboard, What You Crying For, I'm Falling, See The Day, Something New, Loving Is Easy, Hear Me Out, On A Round, History, Some Kind Of Miracle etc.

Favourite memory of artist? Seeing them at a showcase in 2006.

How many times have you listened to number three? 13,411

Would you pay thirty dollars to see them in concert? Definitely.

Favourite songs? Back Someday, Love RIP, Made For Loving You, Get Down, Break You Down, I Can, Elements, It's Alright, It's Alright, When Summer's Gone, Alive, Bounce, Make It Happen, Man Do, Gravity etc.

How many times have you listened to four? 11,822

Would you go fishing with them? No, lol.

Any particular emotions run through you when you listen? Just how much I love them!!!

What songs you like best? It's The Things You Do, Cold Sweat, It's Alright, That's What You Told Me, Don't You Want It, Lay All Your Lovin' On Me, Two Sides To Every Story, Human (The Five Remix), Battlestar, Don't Fight It Baby etc.

How many times have you listened to five? 10,826

What’s so intriguing about them? They were the first music act I ever liked, when I was 8.

Could you imagine them in a circus? Hahah, nah.

Favourite songs? Last Time Lover, Naked, Spice Up Your Life, Saturday Night Divas, Denying, If U Can't Dance, Love Thing, Goodbye, Take Me Home, Step To Me, Bumper To Bumper, Viva Forever etc.

How many times for six? 10,677

How many 3’s in a <3333333 would you give them and why? So many.

Favourite songs by them? Soda Pop, Born To Make You Happy, Til It's Gone, Work Bitch, The Hook Up, Unusual You, (You Drive Me) Crazy, Toy Soldier, Alien, Criminal, Circus, Piece Of Me, Bombastic Love, Passenger etc.

How many times for 7? 9,627

I hear 7 is a magical number, is this band magical? Sure.

What are some of your favorite songs? Caught In A Moment, Sometimes, Like The Weather, Every Heart Broken, Sunday Rain, Too Lost In You, About You Now, Overload, 2 Hearts, Disturbed, Conversation's Over, Ace Reject, Bruised etc.

How many times for eight? 7,879

Why do you like them? Cos their music is so cute and fun.

Favourite songs? The Tide Is High (Get The Feeling), Baby Don't U Hurt Me, Strangers, Tomorrow & Tonight, Nothing In The World, Anyone Who Had A Heart, Eternal Flame, Everything Goes Around, Don't You Know, Bye Now etc.

How many times for nine? 6,248

When did you discover them? When they won X Factor.

What are some songs you like? Motivate, Salute, Red Planet, More Than Words, Happiness, Wasabi, F.U., Power, Beep Beep, Private Show, Down & Dirty, Not A Pop Song, Notice, Love Me Like You, Turn Your Face, DNA, Lightning, About The Boy etc.

Poor ten, how many times you listened to them? 6,104

Why have them as number ten, where is the loveeee? I love her so much actually xD

Favourite songs? Sexy Girl, better days, '77~, IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU, KISS-AND-RIDE, LOVE 2000, Indy Lady, Fish, the SPEED STAR, Let's Do The Motion, PRIVATE, Leavin' For Las Vegas etc.

What are the poor artists from 11-20?

Adam Lambert

Rihanna

Koda Kumi

Lady Gaga

Liberty X

The Pussycat Dolls

Christina Aguilera

The Saturdays

Monrose

Najoua Belyzel

[strawberrysurecake]

Hey! I love your bucci gang tsundere headcanons! If you have time, how would the gang react if their crush was being flirted with by another member of the team or an outsider? Who would be subtle about their jealousy? Who would react in anger? Would anyone confess right then?

Thanks for the ask, anon! As always, I couldn't help myself and went a little overboard again. I thought it'd be more fun if I made up some specific scenarios for each.

If you'd like, you can view these headcanons as a continuation or alternate universe to these headcanons. It really depends how deep you want the tsundere lore to go.

Also, I seem to be writing Trish as more of a himedere than a tsundere. Whoops?

Jealous Tsundere Bucci Gang + Trish Headcanons

I had to be careful to not let them stray into yandere territory. I don't think we mortals are ready for tsundere-yanderes.

Giorno

He can very well see how Passione's newest recruit has taken a liking to you

Bolder than the average soldato, this newbie has the audacity to flirt with you, his commanding capo, in front of him, Don Giorno Giovanna

He looks on with contempt as your soldato's lips brush against your knuckles before bidding you farewell

Once his freshly-dubbed rival in love leaves his sight, he places his hand on the small of your back and guides you towards the passenger seat of his luxury Maserati

"I hope you don't mind a change of plans. There's a place I'd like to take you to that serves excellent soufflé. My treat."

It's a bit much to have brunch at an uptown 5-star restaurant but he desperately needs to show how capable and powerful he is as not only the boss of Passione but as a man, also

He's not jealous; he just needs to show who's in charge, is all...

Bucciarati

A fellow gangster from the tax collection team has been spending too much quality time with you

Passione's squads rarely intermingled beyond business but after a brief job involving you as an escort for the tax collection team, you have become inseparable from that wretched gangster ever since

It doesn't bother him

It doesn't bother him

It doesn't bother him

He hears your cute laughter over a stupid joke the tax gangster made

It does bother him

"I believe you've overstayed your welcome with the escort team. Shall I escort you back to where you belong?"

His jealousy is so obvious that it becomes easy material for you to tease him about for weeks to come

"I wasn't jealous!"

Mista

He has been feeling suspiciously energised, lately

On top of that, the Pistols have been eerily quiet

It's only when he checks his empty revolver during afternoon tea does he understand the horror of what's going on

The unsettling feeling in his stomach leads him across the hideout and to your door where he can faintly catch the whines of Number 3 and 5 and the crinkling of foil

When you allow him entry to your room, he is mortified to catch his Stand snuggling up to you with a bag of corn chips

You insinuate that he's jealous of his own Stand but that would be ridiculous

"Me? Jealous of my own Stand!? No! Never!"

Maybe he was being too obvious with his reaction as you've jokingly offered to hand-feed him snacks

The entire situation exasperates him

"Fine. You can feed the Pistols but don't complain when they bug you for more food later on, yeah?"

Narancia

Though it might not seem like it at times, he genuinely looks up to and respects his teammates as friends, comrades and family

However, there's this sudden urge to go ballistic whenever he sees his teammates get a little too touchy-feely with you

It grates on his nerves whenever Fugo leads you to your car seat with his hand nestled on your shoulder

It's not just Fugo who gets touchy but also Mista and even Giorno, too

He swears they're trying to fuck with him

As soon as Giorno is about to lay his palm over your hand, he swoops in like a hawk and pulls you someplace quiet and far away from the team

There is no platonic explanation for his actions so he stumbles over his words while coming up with an excuse

Confessing would be so much more simpler but he can't bring himself to do it today

"I-I just w-wanted to give you something..."

He gifts you his switchblade then runs off before you can catch his reddened expression

Abbacchio

Of all the men he thought could make him jealous, he never thought it would be a local nobody you met in a library once

There is nothing extraordinary about this man; he works a stable 9-5 job in a boring office complex and he looks utterly unremarkable

Despite that, he can't help but envy the man

If he stayed an uncorrupted police officer, would he be the one by your side, making you laugh and laughing wholeheartedly alongside you?

He wants to shut out this developing relationship you have out of his mind but it persists to haunt him

He doesn't know what your relationship with that man is but he does know he wants to take you out for dinner sometime to prove himself

His invitation over the phone has no mention of it being a date but he intends to make it feel like one

Over dinner, he realises you laugh and smile a lot more around him than with that other man

He might not be what you deserve but being with you does make him smile and laugh more often too

Fugo

He's trying very hard not to let jealousy overwhelm him

He can't help the furious death glare that burns holes into your flirty companion's skull

The nearest utensil is on the verge of shattering within his grasp

Everyone within a 10-15 metre radius has moved away for self-preservation purposes

He can only see red, feel red and be red

Luckily for him, your companion has left

Being so unimaginably enraged that it strikes the fear of God into his rivals apparently has its perks

Trish

There are five stages of jealousy

Stage 1 is denial: those chicks who ran up to you only want to know where the nearest station is and nothing more

Stage 2 is bargaining: even if those girls want more than directions from you, you'd surely prefer her company over their company

Stage 3 is anger: five minutes to ask for directions is more than enough time to locate a station and she is going to put an end to it—with force if she has to

Stage 4 is depression: after telling those girls off, it's apparent that you might have enjoyed the attention they gave you more than hers

Stage 4.5 is tsun: if you're really sorry for making her wait for five minutes, you'll treat her to a manicure

Stage 5 is dere: its not the service of you giving her free a manicure that she treasures but the extra time she can spend with you while you hold her hand in hers—something those girls won't get to experience

[vampiregirl1797]

The Starlight Stone

GIF not mine.

Rhysand x Reader

Word Count: 4,898

Summary: Y/N comes from a different reality, where the characters and world she’s now living in, exist in a series of books. Rhysand takes her in, and she learns how to do something she’s never managed before… live.

Warnings: Can’t think of any? If I’ve missed anything, let me know.

Masterlist Here :)

Falling in love with new characters was as easy as breathing for me. In fact it was so easy, that before I realised it, I was only falling for them. Reading became an escape for me, a teenage girl without a shred of self-confidence, used to being the overlooked one in a group of friends, used to not attracting any kind of male attention. It was perfect, because the men I fell in love with always loved me back, never hurt me with the crushing pain of rejection, never thought I wasn’t pretty enough, or skinny enough. They loved me for me.  

I just never imagined I’d wake up in one of the fictional world’s I’d read about, and come face to face with the High Lord I’d most recently falling for. I’d arrived several months ago, and of course hadn’t been able to keep a thing from the High Lord of the Night Court who’d found me trespassing on his lands. He’d gone into my head, not too far, but far enough to assess whether I was a threat to him or his people. He discovered pretty quickly that I had absolutely no skill set to be a threat, and that I absolutely was not from his world.  

He’d found the concept of Prynthian being presented in a series of books both interesting and amusing, as well as him and his friends existing as characters within the novels. I was just glad he hadn’t gone far enough to find how invested I got in each of the books I read, and those who existed within them, him being one of those people. It would have been mortifying and I had wondered on more than one occasion what his reaction would be. But coming face to face with a man who had been fictional to me, and then become real overnight… it had thrown me into my insecurities. Into taking my feelings for the High Lord and shoving them down as far as I could.  

‘Y/N?’ I was snapped out of my thoughts by Cassian popping his head into my room. Rhys had offered me a room at his town house when I first got here, and I’d never left. He’d offered the money to buy my own place, but I hadn’t been comfortable with the idea of that at the time, and now I had a place on his court, along with a wage of my own, but this had become my home.  

‘Hey Cass, what’s up?’ I smiled, patting the empty space beside me on the enormous bed; in my world I’d never had bigger than a single, and this was about three singles put together.  

‘Not much, I was gonna go into town for a little while, do you want to come with?’ His hazel eyes studied me with warmth and kindness, which was probably what had made me comfortable around him so quickly. He’d never looked at me with the disinterest I was used to being on the receiving end of from men; he saw me as a person and I appreciated him for it.

‘Sure. Anything in particular you’re after?’ I wondered letting my hair down from the messy bun I’d pulled it up onto when I’d come to relax in my room.  

He shrugged, trying and failing to be nonchalant, ‘not really. Just felt like getting out.’

I sighed, shuffling to the edge of the bed to slip on my boots, ‘Rhys sent you to check up on me didn’t he? Let me guess, he thinks I’m becoming a depressed recluse?’  

Cass gave me a look that was a mixture of concern and exasperation, ‘Rhys worries about you because you never leave the house. He doesn’t think you’re depressed, but he worries you’re not living either. You lose yourself in books, and you barely speak to anyone, even me.’  

I turned away, pretending to busy myself with lacing up my shoes to hide the tear that slid down my cheek. Rhys was more observant than I gave him credit for. The truth was, since I’d gotten here, I’d basically been living the same as I had before; reading, sleeping, eating and more reading. I ate meals with everyone sometimes, but more often than not, I allowed the new fictional worlds offered to me here to consume me. I’d never been called out on it before. No one had ever cared enough to notice that I wasn’t just reading because I loved it, I was reading to escape the life I didn’t know how to live.  

‘I-I’ I stuttered, forcing myself to stop and take a breath.

‘Hey,’ Cassian’s voice softened and he shuffled beside me on the bed to sling a muscular arm over my shoulder. My head went to his chest, not even trying to hold back my tears anymore, it seemed pointless when he could probably scent them anyway, ‘I didn’t say this to upset you, just to let you know that you’re family to us now, Y/N, and we care about you. We want you to live and enjoy life, not to fall solely in love with fictional places.’  

‘This place was just a fictional place to me once.’ I murmured quietly.

‘And now you get to be here, and still choose to read yourself to death.’ He teased, chuckling softly.  

I smiled, wiping away the moisture from my cheeks, because he was right. Rhys was right. I had been blessed with the opportunity to live in a reality I’d once yearned for with all my heart, and I’d been wasting it. Why? Because I was afraid to face the feelings I had for a certain High Lord, feelings that had only blossomed since coming here, despite my best efforts to avoid him. I’d been throwing myself into reading because I wanted to live in the fantasy that he would return my feelings for a little longer. But that had to stop. I wasn’t immortal here—at least I didn’t think so, I didn’t have Fae characteristics and I didn’t have any powers—and it was time to stop squandering my life being a scaredy cat.  

‘You’re right. Rhys is right.’ I moved away from Cassian’s chest, wiping all evidence of my tears away, ‘lets go into Velaris. I’ve always wanted to stroll through the City and take everything in. It looks so beautiful from up here.’  

Cassian grinned, and allowed me to pull him from the bed, and just like that we left the town house and were swallowed by the life of Velaris.  

Six Months Later

‘I don’t think so.’ I shook my head, levelling the Shadowsinger with a no-nonsense glare, ‘it’s the Winter Solstice, which is the first one I’m spending here, it’s basically Christmas, and it’s a family holiday. You’re not flying off to wherever the heck you’re planning to go, with only your shadows for company.’  

His hazel eyes were blank but he visibly stiffened. I sighed, realising that telling Azriel what he could and couldn’t do was not my place, and it definitely wasn’t the best approach.  

‘I’m sorry, I don’t mean to act like I’m your keeper or anything.’ I stood from the couch where I’d been sitting, to move to where he stood in front of the fire. I placed a hand on his shoulder, and relaxed a little when he didn’t shrug me off, ‘it’s just… this means something to me. Back in my old reality, we had Christmas, which was something similar. We’d all gather, exchange presents, decorate a tree, hang decorations… but what made it special to me was the time spent with the people I loved. With the people I considered family. You’re my family now, Azriel. You, Cass, Ameren, Mor… and Rhys. Obviously it’s your choice, but if you could afford to, please don’t leave until after the holiday.’  

I thought his eyes had softened at my words, but honestly it was hard to tell with the Shadowsinger. I left him alone to think over my words, kissing his cheek as I made my way outside; I still had some things left to buy for everyone. I’d gone a little overboard, but I couldn’t help it. I’d pretty much finished Mor and Ameren, I had a few last things to pick up for Cassian and Azriel, and the majority I’d left to buy were for Rhys. I already knew what I was going to get him, and most were already purchased and wrapped at each store, I’d just waited until now to get them, because while Rhys was trusted with everyone else’s presents… well giving him his own gifts just didn’t seem right. It might just have been me, but I felt like it took away the surprise, at least a little bit.  

I smiled as I walked through the city, nodding in greeting to a few friendly people. Since that talk Cassian had with me six months ago, I’d started venturing out of the townhouse more and more. I still read, but it was for the fun of it now, rather than the escape from reality. I’d fallen in love with Velaris. The city was beautiful, and teeming with life and acceptance and peace… seeing it first hand really made me appreciate the efforts Rhys and everyone had gone through to protect this place, to make it a home.  

‘Hey girl!’ Ameren’s voice had me looking to my right, to see her running across the cobblestone street to catch up to me, ‘you wouldn’t be out to purchase my Winter Solstice presents now would you?’ she grinned, her silver eyes sparkling with more life than usual.

I playfully rolled my eyes, ‘even if I was, I wouldn’t tell you. Your otherworld intimidation doesn’t work on me, Ren.’  

She huffed, but I could see the amusement swirling in her silver irises, ‘fine. It amazes me sometimes though,’ she mused, going on to explain, ‘Cassian cracked like an egg in two seconds, told me what he’d got me straight away. But you’re immune to what makes me scary to people around here.’  

I chuckled, being able to picture Cassian folding perfectly, ‘I wouldn’t say I’m the only one. And Cassian doesn’t prove anything, he’s like a big kid with this stuff. I’ve had to actually shush him to keep him from telling me about my presents, I think the excitement just gets to him. Now if you told me you’d broken Azriel, I’d be impressed.’  

She huffed a laugh and tilted her head in acknowledgement of my words, ‘yeah, you might be right. He didn’t only tell me what he’d gotten me, he told me about everyone else’s too.’  

I rolled my eyes affectionately, ‘that boy.’  

‘Indeed.’ She shook her head, but when she met my eyes again the wicked glint in them made me brace myself slightly, ‘so what are you getting our High Lord?’  

‘I’m on my way to pick up Rhys’ presents now. You can come with me if you want, so long as you don’t spoil anything.’ I gave her a pointed look and grinned at her offended look.  

‘I’m not the gossip Cassian is, thank you very much, girl,’ she waved her hand dismissively, ‘anyway, I was just wondering if you were finally going to gift him with the truth.’

‘Who?’ I frowned, pulling open the door to the blacksmith’s—I’d requested a few specific weapons for Azriel, Cassian and Rhys, each custom made and fit to them specifically, ‘what truth?’

She opened her mouth to reply, but was had to wait until the blacksmith had handed over the three weapons he’d perfectly made for me. Azriel and Cassian had plenty of swords and knives and daggers, but their abundance in bows and arrows was clear. I’d seen them practice with the same one, and I doubted they had any specific for battle, which seemed a waste when they could both fly. So I’d asked the blacksmith to create some custom for them, and both now had their own bow, plenty of arrows and a quiver. Their names were engraved inside the buttery leather of their quivers, and each were made to be lightweight and able to be worn whilst flying without losing any arrows.

For Rhys I’d asked for a pair of daggers to be crafted. I’d seen him with a couple of swords, and I was sure he already had daggers too, but picking this particular weapon had just felt right, even if I knew it was likely he possessed some already. Each was pure silver, one held an amethyst stone at the hilt, while the other held an onyx stone. One for his eyes, the other for his court.  

It was when we exited the shop that Ameren decided to resume her train of thought that I’d almost forgotten about, ‘the truth that you are in love with Rhys.’

It took a lot of effort not to stumble from shock, ‘what?’

‘Don’t play dumb. It’s obvious. Has been for months,’ she smirked, ‘we have bets on when you’re going to tell him. I have over the Solstice, so if you could do a girl a favour and tell him already, the winnings will be mine.’

‘Not to put a damper on your betting habits,’ I pulled her hand towards another shop I needed to go into, ‘but I’ve not got any “truth” to reveal to Rhys.’  

She swore under her breath, ‘I knew I should have had spring, but there’s me being the optimist thinking you would have grown some balls and realised what we’ve all already seen by now.’

I frowned, ‘what the hell are you talking about Ameren?’

‘Rhys loves you just as much as you love him. Actually knowing him, he probably loves you even more, but he’s as much of a coward as you.’ She rolled her eyes, tucking her onyx hair behind her ear as I accepted another bag full of pre-wrapped presents for Rhys.

‘You can’t be serious.’ I didn’t know what else to say… the idea of him feeling a fraction of the love I had for him made my heart pound in my chest. I couldn’t fathom it.

‘Honestly, you’re both blind.’ She shook her head, but let the subject drop, and I was glad. Talking any more might have launched me into a full-blown panic attack.

I’d admitted to myself that fallen in love with the High Lord three months ago—for a long time I’d fought it, convincing myself I was just in love with the fictional version of him. But that theory had gone down the toilet when he’d laughed—really laughed—at a joke Cassian made, and I’d been powerless to stop myself from being overwhelmed with happiness at his happiness. It was then I accepted I was an idiot in love with a man I’d never have. But Ameren saying he did feel the same, well it made me panic because I’d never considered it a possibility before—I’d never had a man interested in me before, and the idea of it, the unfamiliarity, made me panic. So I forced it down and made myself focus on collecting the rest of my gifts.  

//

The morning of Winter Solstice saw me rising bright and early, eager as a kid on Christmas morning. I realised that we wouldn’t be exchanging presents until the evening, after we’d all eaten, but I couldn’t tamper my excitement. So after I’d showered and dressed in leggings and a white woolly jumper, I headed to the living room to put the finishing touches on the decorations. Everything was basically done, but Rhys had found an eight-foot pine tree; I’d been telling him about the traditions of Christmas in my old reality, and he’d surprised me yesterday with a real tree. I’d hugged him tightly for it, unable to hold back my tears of gratitude at his thoughtfulness, and declared we’d have to decorate it tomorrow, after it had time to settle in the room overnight. A part of me wondered if he’d remember, but my doubt floated away upon the sight of him standing in the living room, observing the tree like he was sizing up an opponent on the battlefield. The thought made me chuckle, and he looked up to me with a smile.  

‘Good morning.’ I murmured, coming over to join him, ‘is there a reason you seem to be sizing up this poor, defenceless tree?’  

He grinned, his violet eyes sparkling with mirth, ‘well, other than the fact that it’s bigger than me and has an unfair advantage size-wise,’ I missed his soft smile as I laughed again, ‘I was simply wondering exactly how we’re going to decorate it.’

I softened with understanding, ‘well, lucky for you, I’m ridiculously prepared.’ I moved to pull out the box I’d stored behind the tree last night, after retrieving it from one of the shops in the art district. Magic was such a blessing here, and after I’d explained what I’d needed, and demonstrated with some awful drawings, they’d had everything made within a few hours. I pulled a few ornaments out, marvelling at the craftsmen’s ship for a moment before hanging them on the tree; there was a mixture of circular shapes and stars, in amethyst, silver, blue and black. They’d also crafted a silver star to go on top of the tree, fashioned after the star that always shone the brightest in the night sky of Velaris on the first night of Winter Solstice. It was so well made, I’d been struck speechless by how realistic it looked; as if they had plucked the star straight from the sky.  

I nudged the box closer to Rhys with my foot, ‘just hang them however you want, like this.’ I gestured to the few I’d put on and smiled when he reached in and immediately followed instructions.  

‘You know, if I used my magic I could have this done in under a minute.’ He commented, looking at me from the corner of his eye as if he knew my reaction before I voiced it.

‘Absolutely not! Decorating by hand is part of the fun, and the tradition.’ I protested, flicking his shoulder when I noticed his smirk, ‘if you use a flicker of magic, then there will be no presents for you.’

I frowned at the look of surprise in his eyes and he must have noticed my confusion because he said, his voice soft, ‘I didn’t think you’d gotten me anything. I didn’t mind, of course, I’m just surprised.’  

‘Why would you think that?’ I turned to face him fully, ignoring the task of decorating for the moment.

‘Because you didn’t give them to me to hide.’ He shrugged, carefully placing another ornament onto the tree, ‘and I never expect gifts, from anyone regardless. I went a long time being consumed by disappointment after my mother and sister died, because my father never cared for the holiday before. But after their deaths, it bore a reminder of another year of them being gone. Then he and I enacted our revenge, and it was a while before Morrigan, Cassian and I were able to spend the Solstice together.’  

I pulled him into a hug, winding my arms around his neck and not flinching at the appearance of his wings. They didn’t often appear without purpose unless he was feeling a strong emotion, but I didn’t question it when they cocooned us, his warmth radiating all around me.  

‘I didn’t give you any to hide because I felt like it took away from the surprise of the holiday if I was asking you to keep your own presents.’ I murmured into his neck, missing the small shiver that passed through him, ‘I’m sorry, that you had to spend so many Solstice’s alone, Rhys. But you have a family now, one that would sooner die than leave you.’

He held me a little tighter, and I returned the gesture, burrowing further into his neck and wondering if I was imagining the increased heartbeat I could feel against my chest, or if I were perhaps mistaking it for my own.

//

I smiled from my seat in the armchair, enjoying the warmth emanating from the fire, and from the mug of hot chocolate I held in my hands. We had just had Winter Solstice dinner, and were taking it in turns to open our presents.  

Ameren had gone first, and was grinning so wide it was almost scary at all of the jewels everyone had bought for her. Cassian had mostly been gifted weapons from everyone but Mor and me—she’d given him a sweater in the brightest green I’d ever seen, and I’d also gifted him some of his favourite liquor, a box of chocolates that Rhys had mentioned his mother got the General every year for solstice, some new books on war strategy, a new set of Illyrian leathers, and the bow and arrows I’d gotten him.

Azriel had also gained an abundance of weapons, along with a startlingly bright pair of purple socks from Mor, and some of his favourite liquor, a series of books on adventure and war I had a feeling he would enjoy, and a new set of Illyrian leathers and his new bow and arrows, from me. Mor had been given high quality clothing from everyone, and some of her favourite chocolates, wine, bath foams and salts from me. Rhys had been given a set of old leather bound books from Ameren, a Hawaiian themed shirt from Mor—mother knew where she found that—, what looked like a six-pack of beer from Cassian that had Rhys shaking his head with a reluctant smile, and a new set of Illyrian leathers from Azriel. I’d given him his new set of daggers, some of the chocolates Cassian had mentioned his mother and sister gifted him every Solstice, a painting that captured the beauty of Velaris perfectly, and something else I hadn’t yet presented to him.  

I’d actually left the other gift in his room, on his pillow; it was a pendant that had caught my eye when I was buying Ameren’s Solstice gifts. The shop attendant had noticed my stare and pulled it out from beneath the glass—it wasn’t overly huge; about the size of a bottle cap. It was antique silver, with a stone at the centre that was so beautiful I’d been unable to look away from it. It reminded me of the night sky, to put it plainly. It was so blue I thought it was sapphire, but the flashes of pure light that I saw when I turned it reminded me of shooting stars. The attendant had explained it was a pendant often presented to a perspective partner as a way of showing your intentions—as a way of showing your love for them. It was often the step before the mating bond sparked, to acknowledge what you already felt for them. She mentioned that it was an out dated tradition, and many only bought the Starlight stone now purely because it was beautiful.  

I didn’t know what possessed me to buy it. Maybe it was the possibility that he wouldn’t even know what it meant, maybe it was because a part of me wanted to tell him, and this was the only way I could muster the courage to do it. Either way, I’d left the small wrapped present on his black silk pillow before I’d joined the party tonight. And I’d had knots in my stomach about it since. A part of me wanted to excuse myself and take it back, but I forced that anxious part of my brain to shut up, because as much as it terrified me… I had to tell Rhys how I felt somehow, even if it meant that he didn’t feel the same way.

//

After the events of the evening, I decided to have a bath before I went to bed; Cassian and Azriel had passed out in the living room, one on the floor, the other on the sofa, but both were snoring loudly. Mor had made it to her room on the first floor, and Ameren had returned to her apartment. Rhys had said something about flying over the city before he turned in, and I was too awake with nerves to just slip straight into bed. So I ran some warm water into the gigantic tub that looked as if it would overflow onto the mountain below, and added some of my favourite bath foams that scented of lavender and honey—a gift from Az. I forced myself to breathe and just not think, and when my eyes started to droop I climbed out of the cooling water to dry off. I changed into the new silk gown Mor had gifted me for Solstice, and entered my bedroom only to stop short.  

My heart stopped at the sight of Rhys sitting on the edge of my bed… and then picked up triple speed. He was wearing loose pyjama pants, and no shirt… and he was holding the gift box I’d left on his pillow. The lid was missing and he was staring at the pendant inside. I took a deep breath and crossed my arms over my chest to hide how my hands shook.

‘Hey.’ I bit my lip, unsure about what to do. Should I sit next to him? Stay standing in front of the fire about three feet away from him? Ask him if he liked the gift? Ask him if he knew what it meant?  

His violet eyes lifted to meet mine, and I felt a wave of uncertainty wash over me at the guarded look in them, ‘do you know what this stone means?’ he asked, his voice quiet as he carefully held up the box, as if its contents were precious to him, ‘are you aware of the tradition that exists in Velaris? About what it means when someone presents this stone to another person?’

I took a deep breath, my heart pounding even faster now, and I was pretty sure I was starting to sweat. I wished I could read him better, wished I could know if he was hoping I knew, or hoping I didn’t. But he was a master of hiding his emotions, so I decided to go with the truth.

‘Yes, I know what it means.’ I admitted quietly, and knew if he didn’t have advanced hearing he wouldn’t have been able to make out the words; I could barely hear myself say them.

‘No, tell me. Tell me why you gave this to me.’ His eyes were still guarded, but his voice held a tinge of desperation, a tone I couldn’t resist from him.

‘I gave you that stone because the attendant at the jewellery store told me that the Starlight stone is what you give to a perspective partner, to acknowledge what you already feel for them, before the mating bond has sparked.’ I could feel the wariness on my face as he stood from the edge of the bed, stopping right in front of me.  

He tilted my chin up to meet his eyes with his index finger and whispered, ‘and what is it you feel for me, Y/N?’

‘I love you Rhys.’ I admitted softly, missing the way his eyes softened as my gaze fell to his lips.

His hand caressed my cheek, his thumb moving back and forth across my cheekbone. I was powerless to stop myself melting into his touch, and felt my eyes sheen with tears when I saw the affectionate look in his eyes. I watched as the dark mist of his magic swirled around the pendant, and lifted it from the box to secure it around his neck. My hand went to rest against his chest, where the pendant lay against his skin.

‘I love you too, Y/N darling.’ He murmured, wiping away the tears that fell silently down my cheeks.  

I vaguely heard the gift box fall to the floor, his free hand now landing on my hip and pulling me flush against his body. My arms wound around his neck, my fingers going to his silky soft hair as his mouth covered mine.

//

One Year Later

‘I’m just saying, Cassian is a great name for a tiny warrior.’ Cass grinned from the sofa, across from where Rhys and I sat in the love seat he’d bought for us about a year ago.  

‘Absolutely not.’ Rhys drawled, his hand gently moving back and forth across my swollen belly.

‘Do you have names picked out?’ Mor asked, her face holding the beaming expression that was always present when we were talking about the baby.

‘We do,’ I murmured, Rhys and I shared a secret smile at Mor’s squeal of excitement.  

‘We’re not revealing anything until the baby is born.’ Rhys grinned at the sounds of disapproval from his cousin and Cassian.  

‘You’re boring.’ The war General grumbled.

We all chuckled at his childish behaviour and I felt my expression soften with affection when Rhys leaned over to kiss my baby bump, murmuring words about how his uncle Cassian would always be the biggest baby in the family. Cassian grumbled louder, much to our amusement. My hand fell to Rhys hair, idly playing with the strands. He kissed my forehead and my eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of contentment that washed over me.  

Home. This was home.

[mcmoth]

Dream SMP fandom etiquette

So. This post is probably too little, too late, considering the fandom and the issues I'm about to talk about have existed for so long now, and a lot of the people who need to hear this probably aren't on tumblr anyways, but I just wanted to dedicate a quick post to talk about fandom etiquette. Mostly pertaining to discourse, and interactions with people outside of our circle. These are just going to be my own personal thoughts, of course, but I felt it could be good to bring some of this to attention. So without further introduction:

Where to (not) talk about discourse:

Don't go into other streamer's vods to only focus about a different character. If you want to analyse, for example, c!Techno, do it in Techno's stream. Don't go into unrelated streams, like Tommy's, Tubbo's etc. to do it, even if they were a part of the event in question. This is, of course, with the exception if the character in question didn't stream their own pov. But otherwise, stay in your own space. This is to prevent cluttering a streamer's comments about unrelated discussion. To give further example: Tubbo's vod comments should primarily focus on Tubbo's character. Not Tommy's, Ranboo's, Techno's or whoever else's.

Don't start discourse in the comments of animatics. Seriously, stop that. Animatics aren't discussion boards. The comments are there to analyse and appreciate the video presented, not argue. It's especially rude if you pick a small detail, that wasn't even the focus of the animatic, or even a completely unrelated issue to rant out your frustrations about. To give examples: starting disc discourse in an animatic of Tommy talking to Wilbur, or rambling about how tragic Techno's character is in an animatic focused on clingy duo, etc.

This applies to fan songs as well.

Video essays are the exception to these rules. I think it's safe to say they're the place to bring your hot takes, if you really feel so inclined to argue in youtube comment sections (Though I'd personally advise to still keep the topic relevant).

Keep negativity out of fanfic comments. This isn't nearly as big of an issue as the last points, but I've seen it happen a couple times, so I'm deciding to mention it. Fanfics are written for fun. Even if you disagree with the characterisation or something else, unless the author is clear in accepting critique, keep criticism to yourself. And definitely don't rant about how you dislike a character unrelated to the fanfic. Sharing your thoughts on the fanfic itself is of course fine and welcomed, but when it turns from discussing the author's story to talking about how you dislike a character in canon, that's when it crosses a line. Example: comment talking about what you don't like about c!Tommy on a Bench Trio fanfiction.

When commenting on art, keep the feedback positive. Even if you dislike any presented character, keep that to yourself. Example: Don't say things like "I hate x character, but this art is good". You might think the author would feel honoured, but it's actually just hurtful.

How to deal with discourse:

This is gonna be a shorter section, because I think we all chose to do it in different ways, and that's valid. Also, it's just that I, myself, am still learning how to do this well, but I thought it could be good to try to lay it out anyways.

Try to scroll past takes you disagree with instead of arguing if you don't think you'd be able to keep your cool. Noone likes a random person yelling at them through a screen, and if you rant, you'll get an equally frustrated reply back, and noone will be happy. Either explain your point in a calm manner, or scroll past/ unfollow/block.

On the keeping cool thing, remember to just step away. Take a deep breath and calm yourself down before proceeding. To minimize the frustration you feel on a daily basis, filter tags, block people, avoid videos and youtube comment sections that you know will upset you, and leave certain internet spaces if you find yourself unable to escape negativity even with all those steps. Remember: in the end, it's all a game played by friends, a story, and your enjoyment of it lies in what you take from it. Abandon what makes you unhappy. Marie Kondo your fandom experience.

Also, here's your reminder, to whom this is relevant, to take care of yourself. Hydrate, eat, sleep, clean up, get fresh air, remember the things outside of all this. There's plenty to do outside of this fandom, and what you can do here can wait. There is no pressure, or obligation. Not for the content you create, not for the discussions you bring, not for responding to discourse, not for anything. Fandom is meant purely for fun, so take care <3

Interacting with people outside of the fandom:

This is something that I've seen a bit of talk about, and I thought I'd drop in my own thoughts on this as well. No matter the differences, we're all just trying to vibe, and I think these are important things to keep in mind to leave both sides better off:

Don't interact with hate posts. Just don't. You don't want to see them, they don't want to see you. Even if your response is lighthearted, their animosity is not. They will feel frustrated regardless, and the grudge will only grow. And if they're being agressive, calm discussion most likely won't happen even if you're being polite. Just leave it, please.

Correct misinformation calmly. I completely get how it can be frustrating to see blatant lies and all, but with our reputation, people will not listen if you're being antagonistic. Provide sources, explain, and leave it at that.

Don't be hateful, send death threats, or assume privilege or whatever else. That's stepping into the same shoes of the people you hate. Misunderstandings go both ways, and the fact of the matter is, I think most people who dislike DSMP, even the ones who are agressive about it, don't have their stance rooted in maliciousness. To expand on why the situation became what it is today, taken from a discussion on discord:

I think it's just a combination of Dream growing so insanely quickly + how internet spaces have changed over the years. When ccs like jackstepticeye or pewdiepie etc. grew popular, activism wasn't as prevalent and held to such importance. Now it's thankfully more talked about, but that also leads to Dream being more scrutinized in comparision. Add twitter trends and the general prevalence of the fandom, and you've got everyone feeling tired and frustrated and paranoid. People also tend not to fact check stuff, especially when it comes to celebrities and stuff they're not really interested in, so rumors spread fast.

And actually, I think there's absolutely valid reasons to be made uncomfortable by Dream SMP, either in it's creators, content or fandom, and there is, of course, stuff to criticise in general. The problem is the hate and misinformation and overexposure, but we are not going to solve any of that by being aggressive in return.

(This is, by the way, not talking about more serious cases. Like doxxing, or leaving gore images in hashtags, or similar instances. That's a whole different complicated issue that I don't feel qualified to tackle.)

And finally, don't overwhelm outsiders who merely mention the Dream SMP. Don't send asks asking them to watch it, don't write paragraphs explaining the lore, don't confuse them with inside jokes, just... Don't jump on people like that. Unless they're explicitly clear in wanting interaction and getting into the fandom, that kind of thing will just drive them away. This is in no way exclusive to the Dream SMP fandom, pretty much every fandom has people enthiastic to have more people involved, but since there are so unbelievably many of us, it's especially easy to go overboard with this stuff. Just... be polite, and don't pressure anyone. Be nice, please.

So.... ya! This would be it for this one, I think. Sorry that it's kinda long, thank you if you read it at all. Hope y'all have pleasant days ^^

[hypmicdaydreams]

hi bae! idk if i requested this already ahaha (if i already requested this i'm so sorry!! i'm forgetful at times, i didn't mean to spam or anything) but can i request a hc of jyuto, samatoki, and dice's reaction who've seen their fem s/o took 5 creepy men down at once (the creepy men were all knocked out) ? (like their fem s/o who was waiting for them outside after work approached by some creepy men, and have no choice but to fight) thanks bae!! sorry if this is too confusing haha love lots!~ <3

Hey hey anon! I think I got your first request, but it's totally fine so dw. I myself am always forgetful, and tumblr does sometimes eat asks. You weren't spamming though, dw! Anyway, this was a fun request; I loved writing it! Thank you sm for the request, and I hope you enjoy 💕

𝗦𝗮𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗸𝗶, 𝗝𝘆𝘂𝘁𝗼, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗗𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝘀/𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗴𝘂𝘆𝘀 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗲-𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱𝗹𝘆

-pairings: samatoki aohitsugi x f!reader, jyuto iruma x f!reader, dice arisugawa x f!reader

-genre: fluff

Samatoki

he never did like it whenever you waited for him outside of his headquarters/base given how dangerous the area around could be since it was yakuza territory

samatoki did like the prospect of having his girlfriend wait for him to finish, wanting to walk with him hand-in-hand home; but your safety was of utmost importance, so he always couldn’t help but scold you each time he found you standing outside the entrance

and this time was no different for samatoki merely sighed when he saw that you had ignored him once more. well, at least you seemed safe, and the very first thing he saw after work was you, so he was content

but when a group of five or so unruly guys - supposedly from a rival gang - showed up, samatoki, of course, couldn’t help but get irritated and unconsciously pull you in closer, as if it’d help keep you safer

this was one of the reasons he didn’t like it whenever you waited for him all alone outside in the dark, knowing full well how this area was roaming with gang members and how practically anyone could walk up and cause problems for you

it wasn’t that samatoki thought that you were weak and couldn’t fend for yourself. simply put, he knew the ins and outs of the dirty tactics the yakuza used to get their way and how you stood no chance against them, and he didn’t want anything to happen to you, especially when he wasn’t there to protect you

he’s very clearly about to beat them up given by the angry look in his eyes, irritated that they even had the audacity to waltz into his territory and threaten him and, more importantly, you. samatoki was going to protect you from harm’s way

but before he had the chance to discard the cigarette he’d been smoking, samatoki saw you take them down so effortlessly, within the blink of an eye almost. the way you swept them off their feet (literally) and twisted their arms or even flipped them onto their backs; it was all so smooth, as if you’d done this a hundred times before

he couldn’t even do anything given how swift it all was, and within a few moments later, he was standing over the groaning bodies of the gang members that tried to jump you guys

“what the fuck??” was all he could mutter, though it was in more of an astonished sense, one in awe. samatoki had no idea that you knew how to fight, much less take down creeps that were taller than you in an instant

it was hot in a way too, he had to admit, and he couldn’t help the smirk that played on his lips. samatoki really had swollen up with pride at the sight of his cute girlfriend taking down a group all by herself. yep, that was his partner, the badass that could singlehandedly take down anyone bothering her

(i can totally see him pouting just a tiny bit at the fact that he hadn’t been the one to have protected you lol but his pride in you overshadowed that)

“you never told me you could do that”

“it never came up,” you shrugged, and all samatoki could respond with was a cocky smirk and a heartfelt “that’s my girl” (maybe the latter even made your heart skip a beat)

samatoki was always proud to have you as his partner, and that only skyrocketed after this incident. admittedly, he was cocky at the fact, and anytime anyone brought you up, he might have boasted about just how strong and amazing you were (he was just so proud)

afterwards, samatoki does feel a lot less hesitant about you visiting him, knowing that you could take down anyone that wanted to start anything within the blink of an eye. he really was simply so smug about it

Jyuto

nightly walks were quite the thing for you and jyuto, who was a bit of a night owl admittedly. there was nothing better than walking through the park underneath the streetlights hand-in-hand after a long, tiresome day at work

but given the recent rise in crime in the surrounding area, jyuto was somewhat more hesitant on going on such walks with you. he himself didn’t mind if he ran into any criminals given how he could easily defeat them with a mic, but when you were with him, it was a bit different

jyuto was sure you guys would be fine and he’d be able to protect you, but it was the thought of dragging you into a headache of a problem that bothered him. plus, given how important you were to him, jyuto didn’t want to jeopardize your safety

still, you insisted this one time, and jyuto found himself strolling through one of the more quiet parts of town with you at around two or so in the morning, quite enjoying it as well. there was something about the peace and stillness of the night and experiencing it with you

that was soon cut short, however, when a group of a few or so guys showed up, very clearly looking for trouble given the way they eyed the two of you (they seemed to be on some sort of substance, perhaps alcohol)

jyuto merely sighed, expecting that something of this sort would happen given how many run-ins he’s had as of late (his luck wasn’t necessarily the best). here he was, wanting to enjoy a nice evening, if it could be called that, with you; and yet, he was stuck in such a predicament. man, this really was a pain

he steps in front of you, signaling that he’d handle this on his own in a few seconds or so, and took out his own hypnosis microphone. jyuto wanted you to stay behind and keep safe while he dealt with the group, not wanting to potentially have you get hurt

before he could even do anything, however, you slipped out of jyuto’s view and single-handedly took all of them down, and i mean like ‘lying face down on the ground, unable to move’ down. they may have been unconscious as well

he’s honestly quite impressed at how quickly you took action and how smooth it all was. you didn’t hesitate in throwing a few punches or twisting their arm until they were on the ground. jyuto himself knew quite the few techniques given his training on having to deal with criminals, and he’s in awe at how well you seemed to execute them

jyuto is a bit speechless at first, but that quickly subsides and turns into a smirk afterwards. did he really just see you take down a group of thugs that quickly? yes, yes he did, and jyuto couldn’t be more proud

“well well well, what do we have here?”

he didn’t know that you were quite adequate in self-defense and/or fighting. it came as a surprise to him, finding out that his girlfriend was indeed a force to be reckoned with. it was certainly admirable, in more ways than one

it was pretty badass too, seeing you take them down without a sweat. he couldn’t help but be proud of you for it, knowing that his s/o was so strong. it was the type of pride that came when someone you loved did something so amazing, proud to know that it was you

(besides, you did just make his job easier lol. he quickly arrested them on charge of attempted assault or theft, even if he wasn’t on the clock)

definitely asks where you learned to do such a thing from, still in awe (he knew you were quite strong and amazing, but this incident increased that as well)’ though i can also see jyuto teasing you slightly, saying how he’s got to watch out around you before he found himself face down on the ground

but really, he’s just all around amazed at how you took the initiative and took them down in no time at all. you were just full of surprises

Dice

dating him was always quite the adventure given his escapades, meaning that you often found yourself in unsettling places or situations given dice’s need for excitement and rush of adrenaline

he always brought you to the strangest of places, ones that you hadn’t the slightest idea how he managed to stumble upon them in the first place. you never did know what to expect with him

and tonight was no different, having accompanied him on one of his gambling expeditions late at night to some shady place. you knew that dice went a bit overboard at times and practically had no regard for his own safety when he was caught up in the excitement, so you decided that you’d look out for him

besides, it was a nice (that was questionable) change of pace from your boring nights, and dice was rather excited to have you with him, so it did all work out in the end

that was soon cut short, however, as a group of five or so guys with a rather threatening aura approached the two of you, assuming that they didn’t take too kindly to the fact that dice had won something that night (no matter how small the prize may have been)

dice didn’t seem to be all too fazed by this, most likely used to such occurrences and danger, though it was easy to notice how he seemed to become rather protective of you given the way he pulled you in closer

sure, dice himself was used to such danger and all, but that was because he willingly put himself in such situations. when it came to those that he loved and cared for, he obviously didn’t want them to get hurt

besides, he did think that it was because of him that the two of you were in this position in the first place; so dice wanted to protect you from harm’s way

he wasn’t one that was quick to jump to his microphone and would rather try to disarm the situation (as bad as he may have been with that), but this time around, since you were also involved, dice really didn’t hesitate to pull it out

there really was no need, however, given how you took them all down so swiftly. dice didn’t even have time to blink before he found out that you had taken care of all of them within an instant

holy shit...that was so cool (and lowkey a bit hot)

he didn’t even have time to follow what you did or even knew what happened in the first place. one minute, dice was about to confront them, and the next, you were twisting their arms or kicking them so that they’d fall

it was all so quick to, as if you’ve been in this position before or even have practiced it hundreds of time. it was clear that you knew exactly what to do and where to hit them

immediately in awe, sparkles pretty much evident in his eyes, as he’s yelling and saying just how cool and badass that was. you just took down a group of guys all by yourself! with no help from him or a hypmic!! you were so strong

dice always did admire you, and he pretty much always shows it; and this time around was no exception. he’s asking you all sorts of questions, such as how you were able to do that or where you even learned it or what you even did in the first place, all in excitement. perhaps you could even teach him a thing or two

(man, he didn’t know that he also had his very own cute bodyguard when the two of you first began dating)

honestly, he’s also quite smug about it, the fact that his girlfriend was so strong and could take care of anyone single-handedly. and he’s not afraid to show it with the cocky smirk on his face. he was simply much too prideful about you

lowkey is still in amazement and probably will bring it up again from time-to-time as a fond memory. he’ll never let you forget about it, but that’s only because dice was so proud of you, and he wanted to show it

sure it may be flustering, but it was also quite cute in a way

[be-gay-do-heists]

there’s something about the love for things you like (hey trendsetter)

“Hardison, I know the point of this grift was to stand out, but are you sure that’s not a little over the top?”

The hacker smiled at the voice in his ear, brushing an imaginary piece of lint off of his outfit in view of the security cameras overlooking the ballroom, whose feed he knew was currently being displayed to Nate and Sophie in Lucille. He pretended not to hear the wonderstruck whispers of the other guests around him. “Nate, I made these clothes myself, I would know if it was over the top.”

Ok, so maybe hand-made clothes were themselves a little much, but he had been dying to trot out this suit forever. The half-tunic was composed of rich blue and gray silks which he had been particularly excited about because he’d never sewn on silk before, and had gone down a rabbit hole on the technique research alone. The layered panels of fabric hung around his torso in a deceptively simple pattern, and one side draped elegantly down to his knee, swishing as he walked and revealing the brocaded reverse side. The perfectly-tailored white pants were simple enough, even if he had embellished the French seam with a decorative stitch and gold thread. As for the matching white slippers, well… shoes would be the next garment craft he picked up, looking down at them in slight disappointment and imagining how the perfect pair could elevate this outfit to the next level.

Sophie’s voice this time. “It’s perfect. Just start establishing your presence.”

Hardison began moving leisurely across the room, letting his attire do the talking for him. Despite the crowded space, the party-goers around him seemed to move out of his way on their own so they could marvel at him; it was easy to stand out amid the bland tuxes that surrounded him. He looked around the room, scanning for the mark, affecting a disinterested attitude. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a familiar shade of hair and turned just slightly to catch Eliot’s eye. The fighter was working waitstaff for this part of the con, bearing a tray of champagne flutes and a disarming smile, the latter strangely absent from his face for a brief second as he looked over at Hardison. Puzzled, the hacker startled slowly making his way over, stopping by the bar momentarily to look at the fine liquors displayed behind the counter (and not seeing anything nearly sweet enough for his taste). As he approached, Eliot noticed him and Hardison registered the slight delay, the stuttered blink. “Champagne,” the hitter grunted, offering the tray more brusquely than he might do with a different guest.

Hardison accepted one of the glasses and watched Eliot’s reaction as he slowly took a sip, smiling afterwards. “Watch out before you drop that tray,” he said, gesturing.

The hitter recovered himself. “Dammit Hardison,” he growled under his breath in response.

“It’s the suit, isn’t it. You like the suit,” the hacker said, letting a hint of gloating enter his voice and waggling his eyebrows.

Eliot delayed his reply to offer a drink to a passing guest, professional disposition fully back in place. He made sure no one was looking at them before turning back and pointing a finger at Hardison. “You’re distracting me,” he hissed. Hardison just rolled his eyes and let flowing fabric swish a little as he changed his posture. He watched with satisfaction as Eliot’s gaze followed the movement. “Did you really make that yourself, man?” the hitter whispered.

“Of course he did, Hardison can do anything,” Parker said, popping up behind them and startling them both. She ignored their surprised expressions and shook her head to jangle her dangly earrings (Hardison knew she thought the feeling was fun). Shock aside, the way she said it made Hardison’s chest ache. It was like she was saying The joints on this climbing harness are made of a carbon fiber polymer, or Eliot will catch me if I jump out of this window. Like it was a fact. He hid his expression in the champagne glass.

“Ok, enough chit-chat,” Nate’s voice buzzed in their ears. “Fleischman is approaching the bar. Parker, you’re up.” There was a clacking noise in the background, and Hardison could imagine the mastermind pecking at the keyboard trying to get a closer view on the cameras.

Parker shifted nervously, fingers picking at the seam of her evening gown. “There’s a lot of people around. Loud people. I don’t know if I can do this. I need one of you guys to help me.” She murmured the last bit very quietly.

“I’ll be guiding you the entire time, don’t worry, Parker. Hardison, go ahead and walk over with her, and stand nearby at the bar; you’ll be a good distraction for keeping Fleischman’s eyes off of her nerves,” Sophie weighed in.

“Don’t go overboard,” Eliot growled from next to them, readjusting his tray and moving off to get a better angle on the room. Hardison felt the hitter’s free hand brush his back as he left, warm and solid, and knew what Eliot was really saying was Be careful.

He grinned widely as he offered an arm to Parker. “May I walk you to the bar for a drink?”

The thief cracked her neck and breathed out before taking it. “Let’s do this.”

[neonacity]

HYACINTHE | CHAPTER 3: JAEMIN X READER

SUMMARY:

Na Jaemin is far from being your typical 20 year old. Instead of slaving through college, he wastes away his hours cracking safes. Weekends that should be spent partying with friends consist of illegal races on good days and small scale bombings on bad ones. Na Jaemin is far from being average, unless you consider being a member of Seoul’s top organized crime family normal.

There is no such thing as a sense of normality and peace in his trainwreck of a life, so when he met a barista who was brave enough to call out his dangerous taste in coffee, he was like a moth to the flame. Everything about her is normal, which means she is forbidden to him, in all sense of the word. So why, then, does he always find himself at the front steps of her shop, breaking all his personal rules even if he wishes he could stay away?

A/N + Disclaimer: this is a side story to Black Daisies, my main mafia fic feat. 0T23. While the plot is based on the main story, this can also be read as a standalone fic. As usual, this is purely a work of fiction and in no way am I implying any member of NCT to behave the way I write them here. tw: crimes, heists, potential death, mentions of drugs and other illegal activities.

PAIRING: Jaemin x Reader

TW: illegal activities, gunshot wound, mentions of blood

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

FIC TRAILER

MASTERLIST

"Another bank was looted last night around 11PM, this time in the Geumchon district. This is the second bank that was broken into in the past week and the fourth that is rumored to be the doing of one of Seoul's organized criminal…."

I sighed and put down the pen that I have been using to scribble on a piece of napkin. A frown creased my forehead before I grabbed the offending piece of flimsy paper and crumpled it with my hand. Jeno, who was silently watching the news, looked up and shot me a curious look. He was leaning over the counter lazily, his cup of half finished hot cocoa beside him. 

"You okay?"

I winced. "Yeah... Actually. Actually, no. I am not okay," I said finally as I threw the used napkin to the closest thrash. I have been scribbling all the things I have to pay for the coming month there and couldn't bear to take another look at it. Jeno grabbed his drink and silently took a sip of it, obviously waiting for me to elaborate.

After my initial 'unplanned' meeting with Jaemin's friends, it has become more or less of their routine to drop by the cafe to hangout. Jaemin was initially against it at first, always scowling whenever he would see one of them already in the shop, though it seems like he has gotten used to it lately—or rather, he didn't have any other choice but to simply accept it. They would often sometimes come in groups—Jisung and Chenle are big fans of the pastries—but other times it's just one of them who would drop by to visit like Jeno now. My favorite is when all of them drops by to visit, not only because I've started getting closer to them too, but because customers would automatically flock into the shop whenever the "handsome gang" is there. Honestly, I couldn't blame them.

"I'm a little bit short on money this month. I was supposed to get my monthly allowance from my scholarship but something happened so it will be delayed. I have lab things to buy and well—everything sucks." 

Jeno nodded slowly, though I have a feeling he doesn't really understand my plight with money. Spending time with the seven of them has given me a better understanding of each boys' personalities. Jeno, for example, is definitely the calmer one of the bunch. While the others would cause chaos every now and then—Jaemin included, he would be on the side watching them usually with that adorable eye smile of his. He is different from Mark who would mostly jump in to join the fun before calming everyone once things get overboard, though both seem to share the same responsibility over the group. He also seems to be the closest to Jaemin, so by extension, I am also most comfortable around him. 

"How much money do you need?" 

I gave him a look as I reached out for a paper cup to make myself my own hot cocoa. 

"I heard the same question from your best friend before. Are you also going to offer to be my sugar daddy?" 

Jeno choked on his drink and hid his laughter behind his raised cup. 

"Do you want Jaemin to kill me?" 

That made me inappropriately blush.

"Sometimes I just want to bust out a bank like that group everyone is talking about." 

Jeno didn't say anything and continued watching me from the brim of his drink. 

"You think you can do it?" 

"Do what?" I asked as I poured hot cocoa on my cup. I said that off-handedly, I almost forgot my words the moment they left my lips. 

"Rob a bank. You know, do something illegal." 

I leaned back against the counter and craned my head a little sideways as I thought the question over. I didn't actually think of that before so I had to listen to my moral compass a little bit before answering. 

"It depends on the reason." 

Jeno looked surprised by my reply. He was probably expecting a goody two shoes answer from me, which I don’t blame him for, to be honest. Even I am mildly shocked by what I said. 

"The reason?" 

"Yes. I mean, if the only reason I would steal is because I don't have money to support my studies, then no, I wouldn't do it. I have other options. I can work extra jobs or I can just drop out from uni. But if I didn't really have any other choice, if I had to do it for someone really close to me, for example, then I would do it." 

"That is very…"

"Cliche, right? I know. But that's how it works, at least for me," I said with a laugh. "I do know what's good and bad, but I'm willing to jump the gun if I have to." 

I didn't know if it was my imagination, but I thought I heard Jeno murmur something under his breath as I turned to get back to work. 

"I bet Jaemin wouldn't like that." 

-----

PRESENT DAY, a little over one month after the happenings in the first chapter. 

They disappeared like bubbles. No, he disappeared in thin air, like smoke that was blown over by a strong gust of wind. After that night when Jaemin bust through my cafe door, hiding god knows what and asking for temporary shelter, he hasn't shown himself again, apparently leaving while I slipped into a light sleep. Even his friends stopped visiting the cafe which, for a few days, made me genuinely feel scared. Are they okay? What happened to him? Who was he running away from?

That worry slowly and gradually morphed into anger as the days lengthened. I know it was my way of coping with my emotions, but I couldn't help myself. I tried calling him, but the line was cut. It even came to the point that I had to call each of his friends, but it seems like the numbers they gave me were all temporary ones, too. I felt frustrated. I felt...abandoned. 

Was it really easy for him to just cut off all contact with me? 

Was it foolish of me to think that there is...something deeper here than just friendship?

It was the start of winter when the loud ringing of my phone woke me up from my nap. Eyes still heavy with sleep, my first instinct was to look at the clock by my table which registered 1:19AM. I frowned. I was in the middle of finishing a paper before I decided to take a nap but who could be calling me at such an ungodly hour? 

I blearily reached out for my phone and barely looked at the unregistered number before hitting the answer button. 

"Hello?" 

"Noona?"

I froze. Just like that, I felt the sleepiness slowly melt away from my consciousness. I know that voice. 

"Jisung?" 

"Noona, we need your help." 

I sat up on my seat after registering the panic in his voice. I heard another tone suddenly hiss at him from the background before a rustling sound overtook the speakers. It sounded like someone grabbed the phone from his grasp before he could even react.

"Jisung. What's happening—"

"Hello?" The new voice that spoke on the other line made my heart stop. I stared at my wall, wide-eyed.

"Jaemin." 

"I'm sorry. We didn't mean to—"

"Jaemin, we don’t really have any other choice but her, give me the phone," another one jumped in. It was Mark. 

"No. Hyung—"

"We're losing him," my lips parted in shock at what I heard. His voice sounded clearer now and I could very much pick up the iciness on it. Mark has always been so friendly and warm that it threw me off guard. 

"Give me the phone." 

The authority he held made me assume that Jaemin did as he was told. Next thing I know, he was calling out my name from the speaker.

"Mark, yes, I'm listening." 

"Hey. I'm really sorry about this, but we need your help. We really have no other choice, Haechan is in such a bad state—"

That made me stand up and push away from my desk.

"What the hell is going on? What do you mean about Haechan?"

"I'll explain later. We're on our way to you now."

"Wait, what? You don't know my address."

"We'll be there in seven minutes."

That was all he said before he cut off the call, leaving me standing shell-shocked in the middle of my room.

---

They banged on my door not even five minutes after. I had barely pulled on a cardigan when loud knocks rang through my small one bedroom unit causing me to quickly run and grab my knob open. 

I stood frozen at the sight of the seven boys crowding my doorway. Everyone was covered in some sort of soot, leaving them almost unrecognizable in their black outfits. Mark and Jeno were in the middle of the group, carrying a half-conscious Haechan between them. Jisung, Chenle, and Renjun brought the rear, their eyes moving wildly as if checking for eavesdroppers. Jaemin stood closest to me, his jaw tense and his eyes apologetic. My gaze snapped back to the center of the group when Mark called out my name. 

That's when I saw it for the first time. I didn't notice it at first because of its dark color, but Jeno was holding a towel against Haechan's stomach. Except it isn't black, it was a deep dark red.

Blood. 

"Oh my god." 

"Please help us." 

Maybe it was the shock, but I quickly stepped aside to let everyone in. I had barely slammed the door shut when I heard a crashing sound from my small dining area. Jeno pushed everything on top of my table to the ground as Mark and Jaemin gently guided Haechan on it. 

"What—what is going on—"

"He's been shot. Thrice. We're not sure but I think two of the bullets are still there," Renjun answered me as he grabbed the soaked towel from Mark's hand and replaced it with a new one. Jisung and Chenle worked on closing all the shutters of my windows while Jaemin tore off a lamp from my living room to move it close to Haechan. He closed all other lights other than the ones on the dining area and the small lamp.

It was then when my training finally kicked in. I ran towards the table to peer at the wound, my shaking hands gently moving the new towel that is quickly getting soaked by blood again. Haechan gave a soft grunt of pain before slipping to unconsciousness again. 

"I think there are still foreign objects there. It's what causing the severe bleeding."

"Can you take it out?"

My eyes shot to Jeno. The harsh lights from the lamp threw strong shadows on his stressed features. 

"I'm not a licensed doctor."

"We don't need a licensed doctor right now, we need someone who can patch the hole in his stomach. Please." 

I gritted my teeth. I have a ton of questions running through my head right now, but he's right. We need to act fast or else we will lose him. I rolled up my sleeves then and called out to whoever can act fast to my orders. 

"Somebody get the black box under my bed. I have all my surgery practice tools there. I need hot water and lots of towels. Everyone move. Now."

As soon as I said my orders, each of the boys were moving in a flurry to get everything that I asked for. I was adjusting the small lamp directly over the wound to peer at it better when I felt a gentle hand circle around my arm. I looked up to see Jaemin staring at me. 

"Thank you." 

I didn't say anything at first. I don't know if it was the shadows playing over his features, but he looked different from the Jaemin I knew in that brief moment.

"Don't thank me yet. Say that once we're sure he survives."

---

I was stirred from my sleep by the light snoring of someone to my right. Turning my head, I was greeted by the sight of Jisung who was currently sprawled on my sofa, his legs so long that they were dangling on one end. Chenle was on the floor below him, his face covered by one of the pillows he probably fished from one of my love seats cradling Renjun's curled up form. Mark and Jeno were both sitting upright, the former close to Haechan and the other by the door like a sentinel. They seemed to be in deep sleep too, they're heads hanging low. Jaemin was on the floor next to my seat, his breathing slow and relaxed. 

I blinked slowly as my gaze moved from boy to boy. It took me a painful two hours to do the impromptu surgery, first working on taking the bullets out before sewing everything back together. Haechan was lucky enough that the bullets didn't hit any vital organs or important vessels, and that the extreme bleeding was only caused by the wrong muscle being hit by the impact. He slipped from being conscious to unconscious throughout, and everyone had to work together to help me while I did my thing. 

I couldn’t really blame any of them from crashing the moment we made sure that Haechan’s safe—for now. 

After rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I tried to silently move from where I was curled on, careful not to stir anyone. I still have a ton of questions, but those can be taken care of later. I padded as carefully as I could towards the table where Haechan was still resting and peered at the IV that I had hooked on his arm to make sure everything was moving well. 

They even have spare blood bags with them for emergency transfusions. 

...As if this kind of thing normally happens.

"He's going to be okay, right?" 

I hastily turned to see Jaemin staring at me. His voice was low and was only loud enough for me to hear. 

I stared at him for a bit before looking away. 

"Yes. He'll survive."

"Thank you so much." 

I didn't answer. He also didn't say anything else, though I could still feel his gaze heavily on me. I braced myself before speaking again.

"We need to talk." 

I didn't wait for him to reply. I simply walked towards my room, leaving my door open for him to follow. I only turned back to look at him when I finally heard it close softly behind him.

"Who are you?" I asked, before he could even say anything else. I watched as his jaw tightened and released, his eyes full of indecisiveness. I didn't waver. Not this time. 

"You said…"

"That I will never ask questions? I did. But I can't do it anymore, Jaemin. You disappeared for a month without even saying goodbye then showed up on my door with your friends, one of them with a hole in their stomach. You have blood bags—freaking blood bags. What the hell is going on?" 

I tried my hardest to control my voice, not wanting any part of this conversation to be heard outside. My legs felt weak at the moment but I tried my best to continue standing so I could hold his gaze. 

The look in Jaemin's eyes, however, almost made me want to give up. I knew from the pain and hesitation there that I wouldn't like whatever it is he is about to say.

"I'm a criminal."

My stomach dropped. 

I was expecting it, but hearing it straight from him didn't soften the impact and the shock. 

"A…" 

"We steal. We do illegal things. There is absolutely no good way for me to describe this, but yes, I am a runaway who was stupid enough to bring you into this mess," Jaemin said through gritted teeth as he tore his eyes away from me. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to take a deep breath to steady himself.

"I was stupid and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone back and tried to befriend you after that order of coffee. I'm sorry I ran to you that night a month ago. I seriously thought I was going to die and I wanted you to be the one that I see for the last time. I'm sorry for today, or that I couldn't answer any of your questions back then. It was selfish of me to keep you in my life without giving you anything back," he stopped and forced himself to look at me again. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest when our gazes met. 

"I'm sorry." 

I didn't… couldn't say anything. One part of me had already expected this because it is the only reason that makes sense. Those vague answers, his detachment from normal society, the money, every clue seems to point to one direction, but that didn't spare me from my moral dilemma now. Because while I knew, I didn't exactly consider how it relates to me.

I was afraid to.

Because the truth is, I like Na Jaemin to the extent that I'm afraid of what I can do for him.

"Do you kill…" I asked in a whisper, my voice shaky. A frown passed his already stressed features before he answered.

"No. None of us do," he answered, and I knew then that he was telling the truth. Regardless of what he is or what he didn't tell me, I trust him to not lie to me.

"Am I—am I in danger?" I asked next. He firmly shook his head.

"No. I made sure of that. No one would dare—" he stopped, as if gauging what words he can use to not scare me even more. "You have always been under protection." 

That’s when it clicked. The cafe visits from his friends. The random strangers who seem to spring out from nowhere every time I was out and about and needed sudden help. 

My legs finally gave way and I collapsed on my bed behind me. My mind was trying its best to wrap around the situation, leaving my thoughts in a jumble. There are a million things I wanted to say, but I couldn’t get a single one out at the moment. 

Jaemin seemed to know what I was feeling at the very least because he simply stood there, silently watching me. I'm not sure how long the two of us stayed in that bubble of silence, but it was also him who brought me back to reality when I felt warmth cover my hands.

I looked up to see him kneeling in front of me, both his hands gently enveloping my clasped ones. The look in his eyes made my heart lurch, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything still. 

"I'm sorry if I was selfish… I promise, after this, you won't have to worry about anything else."

No. 

"When I met you, I saw something that's so different from the life that I have. Believe me, I tried my best to leave you alone, but I wanted more of it—more of —you, so I kept coming back." 

Are you going to leave me again?

"But you'll be safe now. I promise. You can go back to how it used to be before I… almost ruined it." 

Please don't leave me. 

Jaemin gave my hands one last squeeze and I felt him move to straighten himself. Before he let them go, however, another gentle warmth pressed against my forehead as he grazed it with his lips. 

"Thank you."

My tears dropped the same time the doors closed behind him. 

---

Chapter 4

[sereniv]

like its really fun to reconstruct your meals to be without alternatives, or at least cutting out most. but sometimes it can be boring

salad with italian dressing i like. crutons that juat happen to be vegan. but no cheese, but thats fine

sandwhich with no mayo but maybe avocado, still expensive but less, but have to prepare more. not too bad. but then no cheese or meat. but onions and pepper and idk could be done

burrito with vegetables chips and tortilla. no sour cream. pretty difficult because the sour cream adds moisture. no meat and cheese is fine. doable but not enjoyable. as in force myself to finish it

pasta with spaghetti sauce easy. bread but no butter, olive oil is fine enough I guess. no mac n cheese unless using nooch. mac n cheese a bust for me

snacks are nuts and chips and crackers and fruit. i start to get antsy and crave brand name snacks could probably manage tho

no ice cream. nice cream takes time.

roasted vegetables are good. no butter

no butter for rice. makes things bland

so overall if someone were like me, theyd get food but itd be depressing

if they were like me and were able to figure what was most important, and what was more manageable then i think theyd be well off

if they are able to splurge then go for it

for me sour cream is a must but i can lessen the amount i use. sandwhich doesnt need meat. roasted vegetable sandwich with cheese onion spreadable garlic sounds good

butter is a must mayo lasts a while like once a month if i focus on diversifying my meals

ice cream isnt necessary.

i have the time to do this. not everyone does it tkaes effort and energy to change stuff like this

because also, cravings and change and all that can be near impossible to deal with!

thats why you have to always check in with yourself. give yourself challenges this is why I say have FUN

Bc if you dont have a legitimate reason for yourself making these changes it just falls flat.

going vegan was easy. but going healthy non alternative plant based is hard.

i usually go good for the first week and then cave. as in processed foods are made to be addicting.

but im able to cut out ice cream bc after a while i stop craving it, as long as im allowing myself some chocolate like chocolate dipped banana or just chips out the bag.

Sour cream i can lessen bc i love going overboard with condiments lol which saves money

i used to use butter a LOT globs on pancakes and bread and in everything. thrn i switched to olive oil sometimes and also realized i used it in things that didnt need it like mac n cheese

like when you get comfy with alternatives (or the real thing) you forget what you can live without its like you just eat without thinking

i had a friend, and ive heard this in other ppl too- going plant based and cutting out cheese and meat even when they were the biggest meat and cheese eater. and didnt realize how much was just habit

and you never know until you keep at it. check in once a month and think about food

theres so many products that come out and its exciting bc i want to try it. and i usually do

i just got like 7 bags of jerky nearly 6 dollars for not that much. its not something i need or even need to be emotionally happy. so when they are gone im going to try and find an alternative to that alternative like make a trail mix

yknow what makes it easier? actually listing the food you eat as meals. being able to visualize it so its not just going off of what your brain tells your stomach and tongue.

or else you end up eating a whole bag of chips instead of just having a side of chips

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Not by the Moon | 05

Genre: Smut, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Drama, Tragedy, Werewolf AU, Supernatural AU, Bookshop AU

Pairing: Bookshop keeper!/Werewolf!JB x Reader

Warnings: A sprinkle of grumpy jealous werewolf!Jaebeom who gets a wee bit violent, tooth-rotting domestic fluff, werewolf courting, sexual tension, werewolf!Jaebeom acting like a pup, and poor yet adorable attempts at coming across as human.

Summary: Every story has a purpose or goal it is dedicated to, their authors at times going to great lengths to see the project they once started to completion. Nevertheless, the things the writers swore on to see their latest art piece to completion are static.

Unchanging.

None of them swore by the Moon nor Love because they can solely genuinely swear on all that changes like themselves.

And yet, a wolf in love foolishly swore by the moon.

That is when Time truly started ticking.

Author’s Note: This chapter is from Y/N’s POV. Bam and Jinyoung make a cameo.

Previous Chapter / Next chapter

Masterlist

Wonderful as a trip abroad might be, there’s nothing that can compare to the secret feeling of relief when returning home. No longer there is luggage to drag along, languages to swap between, or cultures to assimilate to. While it is in good fun, it’s also physically and mentally exhausting. Henceforth, coming home is like a cozy blanket to wrap around your shoulders by the fire on a cold November day. And once you’re bundled up, it is time to breathe easy and rest.

Although, home is not necessarily a place. In fact, mine has made good on his promise and puppy dreams, standing in the crowd to pick me up.

“Y/N,” a familiar voice calls out as we enter the hall of arrivals, “over here!”

Manes tucked away under a dark red beanie and wearing a simple black jacket over an oversized black shirt, Jaebeom waves to pull attention to himself.

“Who’s that?” Bam follows my gaze to the adorable tall man as we make our way through the crowd of trolleys, suitcases, hellos and goodbyes. “Is that the dude you’ve been texting and calling?”

“He is,” I whisper in reply as we approach him. With every step, the storm of butterflies in my stomach worsens although I feel light as air at the same time. Happiness in Love is a strange thing. 

“So that’s your boyfriend,” my colleague purrs. He sounds pleased in the way I imagine he’d sound if he was my older brother.

I whip my head around, tongue-tied but not enough to protest the assumption. “He’s not my boyfriend!”

Bam merely chuckles to himself, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he continues. “Sure he isn’t, Y/N. After all, you’ve not been touching your lips and turning into a blushy mess afterwards. Or keeping those books you have with you close at all times, looking at them fondly.”

“Of course I am.” Jaebeom jumps into the conversation when we’ve reached him, acting as if he’s heard our conversation perfectly through the ruckus of the crowd. The sparkle in his eyes dims and turns into a poisonous glare when he notices the guy besides me. “Who are you?”

“JB, this is Kunpimook.’’ I gesture from one to the other, jaw clenched in the hope the wolf man won’t actively show the hostility harboured in his gaze. ‘’The colleague I told you about.”

“Just call me Bam.” Politely, he holds out his hand.

“Im Jaebeom,” the other man introduces himself, fortunately accepting the gesture howbeit with a strained expression. “Her boyfriend.”

“Hey, you must be Y/N.” Holding a tray with three coffee cups in it, a young man joins our company. 

Like Jaebeom, who has proudly proclaimed himself my boyfriend, he is tall, slender yet muscular in build and has black hair. Nevertheless, whereas Jaebeom has a flair of being unapproachable, the stranger has a boyish air around him that’s open for contact.

He moves the carrier from his right hand to his left for a handshake. “I’m Jinyoung.”

Immediately, bells start ringing at the mention of his name. After all, there hasn’t been a single call the past week wherein he wasn’t mentioned. “Jaebeom’s told me about you. You’re a professor at the university here, right?”

“I am,” he beams, his proud tone indicating how much he likes his job. “I teach Mythology. It’s a course that encompasses folklore around the world, so it’s fairly broad.”

“You teach only one course?”

“I do, but I’m also a doctor. Well, still studying to be one officially, but I’m allowed to work at the university’s clinic already.”

 “Wow.’’ A professor and a doctor. There’s little else I can say as a mere travel journalist, so I just try to remain casual despite being utterly gobsmacked. 

“I know, it’s a lot. Nevertheless, somehow I manage to do it and occasionally write an article.”

How does he do it? He’s likely not that much older than I, but he’s evidently busier than I am.

“Show-off.” The grumbled insult interferes with the friendly conversation. The focus of Jaebeom’s glare has changed targets from Bam to the professor. However, the latter doesn’t seem to notice his friend’s chagrin.

“I’m simply introducing myself, Jay. Here,” Jinyoung hands him one of the paper cups from the carrier, “your apple and cinnamon tea.”

“You drink tea now?” I raise an eyebrow, surprised. It sounds like a strange concept because I’ve never seen him drink anything but black coffee.

“Doctor’s orders,” JB murmurs in response, discontent and keeping a close eye on Bam as he nips the warm beverage.

“I’ve put him on tea, preferably green, to lower the caffeine levels in his blood. Otherwise, he’ll be staying up all night reading and trying to cook. Oh,” he reaches for something in his pocket, pulling out a small bottle like the one JB showed me in the park and handing it to his friend, “you forgot your meds.”

“You’re on medication?” Bam asks without any implications or judgment. The funny thing is, despite being extroverted and extravagant - extra, in general - he actually studied psychology and thought about becoming a psychiatrist for a while. Therefore, he has a general interest in medicine and its function of helping the human psyche.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Jaebeom sneers sarcastically, his voice closer to a growl than human speech. Then, he turns his attention to Jinyoung, who continues to hold his calm. “Why are you giving this to me now? Couldn’t you wait until we’re back? I’m not gonna take them in front of some stranger, especially not someone close to her. Besides, what does skipping one time or by a few hours matter?”

“Jay, don’t be like this,’’ the young professor sighs. ‘’You know how important timing is, especially with this new treatment.”

“You’re embarrassing me.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!”

A nudge against my shoulder distracts me from the fierce bickering, Bam lowly whispering he’s leaving for home as well as an apology for what he has unleashed. I answer in a similar fashion when promising to call him later and apologizing for putting him into this situation. He merely waves dismissively, unbothered, and disappears in the crowd of trolleys and journeying strangers.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” I intervene lest the situation gets out of hand. A hand on his chest, I try to distract Jaebeom by shifting his focus to me. “Let’s go search for somewhere quiet around here where it’s just us. It’s important to me too you take your meds.”

“Let’s just go home.” His features soften, compromising like I did that day in the bookshop and didn’t want to eat. “I’ll take them in the car, alright?”

“Why do you have to be cross with me about it when you readily accept to take them when Y/N tells you to?” Jinyoung crosses his arms in defiance, lips pulled into a displeased pout.

 “Because she’s my mate,” Jaebeom argues, sure to show his teeth. Withal, he turns into a gentle giant again once he wraps an arm around my waist and looks down at me with so much adoration I feel my cheeks burning up. “Girlfriend, I mean. We’re dating, so she’s my girlfriend.”

“We’ve only been out together once,” I sputter. It’s wonderful to hear the affirmation we’re an item, although I still think it’s a bit too early to claim we are.

“Twice after today. And we’ve kissed,” he corrects me, tone indicating there is no use in protesting. Nevertheless, the sternness wavers as it warms into merriment. “I got you something. I’ll give it to you once we’re home.”

Jinyoung leans in as we head to the exit, whispering. “He went kinda overboard.”

“I didn’t,” Jaebeom growls. “Stop embarrassing me. Know your fucking place.”

“Boys,” I sigh in warning.

Both lower their head and let out a whimper in apology. “Sorry.”

“This is where you live?” Jinyoung parks the car in front of the tall white brick building overlooking the quay at the edge of town.

“Wow...” Jaebeom murmurs in the passenger seat, awed by the fact I live on the east side of town. It’s a recently redeveloped area, the warehouses refurbished into apartment complexes to help combat the growing housing issue.

“I do. Not for much longer, though.”

Both men turn in their seats, looking at me as if I’m insane.

 “You’re moving out?” The professor asks, although it’s more of an exclamation than a question. “Why would you leave this place? It’s one of the most desired places to live within the city.”

However, JB doesn’t care about the reason which makes me want to leave the neighbourhood behind. Instead, he’s anxious to know where to find me. “Where will you go?”

“Do you know those orchards on the outskirts of town? With the old cottages?” Both nod as confirmation. “Well, that’s where I’ll be moving to. I’ve been meaning to get out of the city for a while. Granted, the harbour district isn’t as busy as the city centre. But, despite being only twenty-two, I crave the silence of the countryside. Or, rather, its tranquility which I can also find in the suburbs.”

“You’re twenty-two?” Jaebeom asks, head tilted to the side.

 “I am,’’ I admit as I pull my knees up to make myself as small as possible. ‘’I never mentioned it because I didn’t think it’d matter. Does it, though?”

My voice is hardly audible, a frog stuck in my throat. Why did I have to be the one to bring this up?

“No, not at all! I still like you. A lot. A lot, a lot. But, I’m older than you. Quite a bit, I think.”

“How old?” The question barely rolls off the tongue, pale with dread.

Please, don’t let there be too big of an age gap.

“I’m twenty...” He looks at Jinyoung, brow furrowed.

“Twenty-eight,” the good doctor whispers, unconscious of the fact that the well-meant reminder is loud enough for me to hear.

“Twenty-eight,” Jaebeom confirms, staring back at me in anticipation. “Six years difference. Does it matter? To you, I mean. In how you see me?”

“It doesn’t. Do you see me differently?”

“I never did.”

“Age is only a number, after all,” the professor pitches in to cheer us up further. “Anyway, I’m dropping you off here.”

“Can’t you stay?” Surely I can’t let him leave without at least thanking him with a cup of coffee or tea.

“I’d love to, but- Don’t you snarl at me.” He points an accusing finger at JB, who’s showing his teeth and lowly growling like he did at the airport.

Caught red-handed, the wolfish man feigns ignorance and stares out the window. However, his sulky expression and scoff betray his true feelings.

“As I was saying,” Jinyoung continues after an exasperated sigh, “I’d love to, but I get to attend an interesting transplant operation today and have a bit of research to do for a new article.”

“That’s a shame. I owe you a cup of coffee, then. That’s the least I can do to repay you for driving me home.”

“I’ll make good on that promise soon. But for now, go on, you two.” He motions for us to get out of the car. “Don’t make it awkward by making me the third wheel.”

“Jinyoung.” Hesitantly, the big wolf man holds up his fist.

��No hard feelings.” He bumps his fist against JB’s.

“Good.” The seat belt comes undone, but Jaebeom doesn’t move to step outside yet. Instead, he leans in towards Jinyoung and takes a whiff, squinting as invisible question marks float in the air. “You smell weird, though.”

“Really?” The other man sniffs the collar of his jacket, shrugging casually in jest. “It’s not that bad.”

“Jinyoung.” Despite still looking a bit pale with remorse, the wolf man says the professor’s name harshly, his voice deep as he chastises the turn to humour. He grows still, gaze focused on his friend as he tries to look for what’s unspoken in the other’s body language.

However, there is nothing to see. Although, if there actually is something off, the professor hides it well. But Jaebeom doesn’t get the chance to scrutinize him long enough to see for himself because Jinyoung turns back to the wheel and waves dismissively. “I’m alright, Jae. Go. Have fun with your girlfriend.”

His friend nods, a strained look on his face, and opens the door. I follow behind, having silently observed the conversation from the backseat.

What’re you worried about? Jinyoung looks fine. Nothing wrong with him whatsoever.

Nevertheless, barely have we opened the trunk when the doctor hangs out the window. “And don’t forget your present!”

“Got it right here.” In confirmation, Jaebeom holds up a neat-looking paper bag, chique enough to originally have been used in a boutique.

“That’s my boy,” he chuckles before he resumes his seat.

With a dull thud, Jaebeom closes the trunk again. 

The engine roars to life and the car pulls out of the parking lot, Jinyoung honking a few times as we see him off.

I look from Jaebeom to the bag, leaning in to try and sneak a peek of its contents. “What did you get me?”

You promised me a shirt, but do you really need this big of a bag for one?

“I’m not telling you,” he muses.

I straighten my posture, a smile building as a golden opportunity presents itself. “Aw, what’s in the box?”

“Box? Y/N, it’s a bag.”

“I know, but- Never mind.” I wave the apparently obscure allusion with a dismissive gesture, disappointed he doesn’t get the reference. “Let’s go inside.”

“Are you upset?” he asks as we walk to the entrance of the building.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Another reassuring question burns on his tongue, but before he can ask it I stand on the tips of my toes to peck him on the lips and nose. “I’m not going to get upset simply because you didn’t understand me. Besides, it’s just a trivial matter. Come on, let’s go. I’m hungry.” 

Though I failed the first time, I again try to get a better look at the mysterious bag. As before, the attempt is in vain. “And curious.”

“I think you’ll like it. In fact,” his lips pull into a smug smirk, “I’m fairly sure you’ll look pretty in it. More pretty than you do now.”

It’s prettier.

I let the mistake slide.

To let him have his little moment of triumph.

There is no place like home. Truly, not a single hotel room or bed and breakfast in the world can substitute the small studio with its minimalistic interior in shades of white and grey.

I breathe in deeply, glad to stand in the familiar narrow hallway leading to the kitchen and space beyond. A faint musty smell cuts through the fragrance of the Nordic leather diffuser sticks I bought before going to Belgium.

Guess I’ll be cleaning tomorrow.

Luckily, it’s been only a few days so the level of dust isn’t too bad. Notwithstanding, the place could do with a little clean-up.

“Well, this is me.”

“I know,” Jaebeom replies sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his eyes on me.

“No, I mean, this,” I gesture around as I walk into the apartment, “is my place. My house.”

He murmurs something under his breath, seemingly contrasting two words as he tries to understand them or, rather, the difference between them.

“It’s nice,” he remarks when he has figured out his train of thought, looking around appreciatively.

“The cottage will be nicer, I think. I can’t wait to decorate it, make it cozier than this place. Maybe get some plants, hang up a few photos-’’

“A few of us together, maybe?” He proposes as he, too, takes his shoes off and follows me into the living room.

“For example.” I nod at the bag when we settle down on the couch next to the window overlooking the quay. “Can I open my present now?”

“Say ‘please’.” Arms crossed, he leans in so our faces are mere inches away from each other. His breath ghosts warmly over my lips when he continues in a tender yet playful babying tone. “Life is short, but there is always time for courtesy. Manners, young lady.”

“Can I open my present, please?” Regardless of the chance to finally satisfy my curiosity, I don’t dive into the gift directly. Instead, I stay my hand, bothered by a nagging feeling his words are familiar to me. “What you just said, isn’t that a quote?”

“It is, but,’’ Jaebeom bites his lip, eyes averted to the ground, ‘’to be honest, I can’t remember who said it.”

Funny, how you can remember quotes. Maybe that’s how we can communicate in the future if your condition gets worse. Although, let’s hope that’s not the case for a long time.

“Ralph…’’ I start, trying to recall who originally said it. ‘’Ralph Waldo? No, that’s not right. He went by his middle name. Wait, his middle name was Ralph so it was him.”

“Have you read his work?”

“Honestly speaking, I haven’t. However, I have a friend who studies American literature and poetry and she sends poems, quotes and the occasional snippet. I think I’ve seen him in passing. Anyways,’’ I pull the bag onto my lap, giddy as a child in a candy shop, ‘’let’s see what’s inside.”

The present catches me off-guard because the bundles of clothing are both what I expected and yet not. “You...” I trail off, checking and double checking the amount of shirts. “Seven?”

“One for every day of the week,” he beams, proudly barking his reasoning.

These will last me two weeks if not longer. Minimalism isn’t his thing, is it?

I pull out a big grey hoodie and hold it up to my nose to sniff it. A wild forest of which the air is faintly scented by a cologne with fruity undertones and the musty smell of books. I hum contently, enraptured by the scent. By him. 

From the corner of my eye, I see Jaebeom grinning in unadulterated amusement. Albeit not without effort, I lower the article of clothing. “I know this is likely stupid to ask, but eventually they’ll have to be washed so what if your scent fades?”

“I’ll just scent them again.’’ He shrugs casually before he points inside the bag. ‘’Also, what’s in the little box on the bottom might help with that too.”

In my astonishment, I missed the cardboard square at the bottom which turns out to be the packaging for a bottle of cologne. “You can spray it on. Sure, it’s not really purely my scent but hopefully it’s still rem- remi- a reminder of me.”

You meant reminiscent, didn’t you?

“Or I can go to you and have you scent them,” I joke, only half-serious.

“If that means more time together,” his mismatched eyes sparkling with gleeful stars, “sure, why not? I’d be glad to help.”

“Thank you.’’ Absentmindedly, I fidget with the folds of the hoodie. ‘’I really like it.”

Jaebeom ruffles my hair, letting out a chuff. “You’re welcome. Now, why don’t you just sit tight and I’ll make us something to eat?”

“Don’t set my kitchen aflame, though,” I warn him as the wolf man gets up from the couch.

“I won’t,” he answers smugly before leaning in to steal a kiss. “I promise.”

With a spring in his step, JB sets off for the kitchen with the bag of groceries he pulled from Jinyoung’s trunk. The two must have dropped by the supermarket before coming to pick me up.

A pillow propped up against the armrest and the blanket formerly draped over the couch now covering my shoulders, I lie down for a nap.

As consciousness fades, a warm affectionate wolfish smile pierces through the growing haze. Jaebeom murmurs something unintelligible and turns his gaze back to the chopping board.

I am home.

Dreaming of two little pups running around an orchard.

“Dinner’s ready!” The loud remark barely filters in until it’s repeated up close, the merry bark lowered in volume. A hand shakes my shoulder, but what does the trick in waking me up is the warm wetness nibbling away at my ear. However, it doesn’t stay there, but travels down the side of my neck and ends its journey at the hem of my shirt, giving it a gentle yet fierce tug.

“Y/N, come on. Get up,” JB whines, the words distorted thanks to keeping the fabric firmly between his teeth. He tugs at it again.

What on earth?

I turn onto my other side, causing the big wolf man to let go. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to get you to eat.” He makes himself smaller, gaze briefly averted to the side before looking at me again, continuing in the same tender yet stern tone he uses whenever food is involved. “With me. This is my first time cooking for you and I practiced really hard while you were away. So, please, eat with me. I want to know whether I did a good job.”

“Do you have to drag me by the collar for that?” I reach out to scratch him behind his ear, tracing his jaw as my fingers work upwards.

Jaebeom’s eyes mist over, his expression turning dreamy as he leans into the touch. “Want- Don’t know… know how to- Come to… kitchen. Although, maybe, just...”

“Feels good?”

A hasty sheepish smile flashes on his lips as he nods in agreement, eyes closed and speechless.

You really are a wolf. Weirdo. My weirdo.

A whine slips out when I stop. JB slowly opens his eyes again, blinks a few times before he clears his throat. “Can we do that again? After dinner, maybe?”

 “If I liked what you made, sure. However,” I kiss his forehead, “since you asked so nicely, we can do this again after we’ve eaten. So, will you eat with me?”

Will you stay with me?

“What’s wrong?” Picking up on the worrying thought, he tilts his head to the side and scrutinizes my face as he did Jinyoung’s earlier today.

“Nothing.” I shake my head, dismissing the thought since we’ve already said everything there is to say about it. “Just a silly thought.”

His expression falters. “I’m being over- overbear- too much.”

“No, not at all! Don’t say that, silly.”

Jaebeom nudges my nose with his, his tone sweet in an attempt to make me confess what’s bothering me. “Then what is it?”

“I’ve never done this before,” I admit at last. “No one’s ever cooked for me aside from my mom and grandmother or had a guy proudly proclaim himself as my boyfriend. This is simply new to me so it makes me feel, well, a bit awkward. It’s unreal, like a dream that might go up in smoke any second. That’s maybe a better way to put it.”

“I’m really here. Also, remember what you promised me? You’d stay by my side until you can’t anymore and I promised you the same. I’m a wolf, after all. Loyal to my pack or, rather, my- uh- my bi- no, that’s wrong. My lady,” he grabs my hand and lifts the fingers to his lips for a chaste kiss, “I am your gentleman and I won’t go anywhere without telling you first. And, if possible, I’ll take you with me because I refuse to leave you behind. But for now, let’s go eat. Together. I’ll try not to make a mess.”

Don’t cry, Y/N. Don’t you tear up right in front of him.

I take in a shivering breath, swallow hard, and try to regain composure.

We’re here together and wherever it is we’re going next, we’ll be there as we are now.

Side by side.

Even though I’m hungry and the table is literally three steps away, I groan as I get up from the couch. Travelling takes its toll, no matter how short the distance might be. All the same, I shuffle towards the chair facing the kitchen and plop down on it, watching JB plate up. “What are we having?”

“Steak with blanched vegetables and sweet potato mash,” he proudly announces while serving the food.

“Uhm, that’s very nice. However- it’s alright if you don’t remember, but I’m vegetarian.”

“I remembered.” A bright smile forms on his lips, eyes alight with triumph and joy. “That’s why your steak is soy-based. I found it while doing groceries or, rather, Jinyoung pointed it out. He’s been teaching me how to cook and bake. Well, we’re still working on the latter, but I did bring homemade cheesecake for dessert. I still wonder why they call it cheesecake when what’s going in it isn’t really cheese.”

“Beats me too.”

“You got slapped by cream cheese?” Visibly gobsmacked, he leans in with an expression that holds the middle between curiosity and utter confusion. “How did that happen and was it painful?”

“I mean I don’t understand either,” I reply, shaking my head with a low chuckle, and cut into the steak. As the knife sinks into it, a rosy fluid oozes out of it as if it’s been cooked medium-raw which is exactly how I liked it back in my non-vegetarian days. “But baking hasn’t been a success?”

Jaebeom sits back, shoulders hunched as he pokes the carrot on his plate with his fork. “I burned a cake, pulled it from the oven as black as charcoal. Then there’s the case of the exploded soufflés and marble cake that turned out to have no marbling at all. Not to speak of the melted... what’re they called again? There’s also a song that’s got to do with them. Jinyoung sings it a lot. Rocky road! Melted rocky roads and millionaire’s breads.”

“Maybe stick to cooking instead of baking. Not everyone has a knack for both.”

He sighs in defeat. “Maybe I should, but I’ll still try to make you something every once in a while that’s actually good.”

“As long as you don’t blow up one of our kitchens.” I include my kitchen as well because the mere thought of baking together spreads a rosy flush throughout my body that leaves me warm with affection. Besides, it’s another excuse to see him wear an apron, maybe pull some shenanigans myself and have something to eat with a cup of tea or coffee and a good book.

That would make for a nice date. We should do that soon.

“I’ll try.” He holds out his pinky. “Promise.”

The adorable genuineness of the determined gesture is what drives me to seal the promise by wrapping my pinky around his. “I’ll hold you to it.”

While eating the simple yet well-made dinner, the conversation is about novels, the shop, Jinyoung’s cooking lessons and the weary stories of how Kunpimook and I crossed Bruges in search of the best chocolate. Jaebeom hasn’t done much in the time I was away it seems. The bookshop’s been quiet, so he’s had plenty of time to read and work on his cooking. Nevertheless, his expression turns dreamy when I show him the pictures from the trip, but right beneath the surface of it floats a form of sad longing which is too unclear to be certain of or to be properly described.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m glad you got to see this,” he murmurs as he takes my phone from my hand to leave through the collection again. “I’m kinda jealous, though. It’s been so long since I went somewhere other than here. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been somewhere else.”

Brows furrowed, he tries to remember the last time he travelled. Withal, he comes up short, the melancholy of missing memories staining his voice. “I’ve been nowhere except here. Chained.”

“This place clearly is your home, that’s why it’s keeping you here. It knows you belong here and I’m glad you’ve remained.”

He lets out a breathless laugh which oddly holds the middle between a growl and a giggle. “I’m happy you showed up at my doorstep, then. But, the cottage you’ll be moving to... it’d- it’d be nice if I could make that my home too.’’ His cheeks grow pink like rose petals. ‘’Well, maybe not literally, but it would be nice if it would become our little somewhere.”

“Our little somewhere,” I repeat, charmed by the sound of it.

“Our home. Well, concretely speaking. Abstractly, and most importantly, you are my home.’’ He gets up to move to my side, where he crouches at my feet. Foreheads rested against each other, he easily nips at my nose and nuzzles it affectionately with his. ‘’You are what breaks the silence, makes me able to hope for better days.”

“The same goes for you because even though you sometimes still intimidate and freak me out a little bit, you make my days more interesting than they have been in years. So, thank you. For being here, spending your time in my company.”

“Thank you for the same reasons. Now,” JB leans away to get up and starts to clear the dishes, “how about dessert?”

Before either of us is aware of it, the clock on the wall notes it’s already ten past eight when we finish off the homemade cheesecake. Naturally, partially to also do my fair share, I stand up from my chair before the big wolf man does in an attempt to clear the table and do the dishes. However, when I’m about to walk to the kitchen with them, Jaebeom unapologetically takes them from my hands.

“What’re-? JB, you don’t have to do everything! Let me at least do the dishes.” Flattered yet a tad annoyed by the kindness, and poorly conveying my appreciation, I protest in a harsher tone than I intended to use.

Fortunately, though also a bit comically, he remains unperturbed. Notwithstanding, an unyielding sternness underlines his voice when he responds. “You’ve had a long journey, so sit down and relax. I’ll be right with you after cleaning up.”

Henceforth, unable to protest and rendered comatose by the delicious food, I plop down on the couch. Nestled into the corner, I have a proper view of the man who’s claimed my kitchen for himself.

Although it’s an intrusion to a certain degree, it’s quite soothing to watch Jaebeom defy classic gender roles. Contently humming a song and barely shy of skipping, he cleans up the mess with a tea towel tucked into the side of his pants. 

When he’s done, he hangs the tea towel over the stove’s handle, washes his hands, and settles down next to me. On a whim, though it’s maybe because of instinct, I get up from my little corner and nestle against him. He wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer as I drape my leg over his thigh to get into a more comfortable position.

Situated snugly in his safe presence, I close my eyes and sigh in pure content. “Can you stay here tonight?”

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to be alone and rest?” he murmurs into my hair.

“I can recharge with you. Besides, you’re nice and warm.” I snuggle up to him more, basking in the mixture of wild wood and cologne. “A perfect pillow.”

He pulls me on his lap, wraps his arms around my body and pulls me flush against his chest, which feels sculpted but not hard with muscle. Abs are nice and all, but I prefer the softness of a defined though not hardened chest. 

“If it brings you rest,” he curls his finger under my chin and lifts it, compelling me to look at him, “I’ll stay.”

I run my fingers along his jaw and up to his ear, immediately reducing him to the puppy-like state he tends to get into apparently when being touched like this. “Thank you.”

“My pl- pleasure.” What would have been a normal response is lost in a growl when I accidentally brush against his crotch as I shift my weight and sit up a little.

His eyes snap open, the hazelnut brown and ocean blue irises darkened, devoid of any sense of their former satisfied tenderness. With his thumb he traces the outline of my lips, lowly purring. “Pretty.”

“Jaebeom,” I place my hands on his shoulders, maintaining a bit of distance between us. We shouldn’t rush this, but the sensation of his growing bulge against my thigh, throbbing against the inside of it, convolutes every thought. Somehow, his scent seems to have gotten stronger too, overwhelming me with the same clear message the firm grip on my hips has. 

I don’t push him back as he leans in, bridging the emptiness I initiated. Foreheads rested against each other and his calloused hands on my cheeks, he guesses what’s essentially withholding me. “Scared?”

“A bit,” I whimper against his palm, the words muffled by the rough warm skin.

“It’s me, Y/N. I won’t hurt you.” Feverish yet sweetly with persuasive conviction, he kisses me. “I’m your gentleman, your boyfriend.”

“I’m afraid it’ll hurt. That we’re going too fast.”

“We’re not. I want this. I want more of you. With you. But,’’ lips pulled into a straight line, he clears his throat while looking as if he is restraining a wild beast that can easily get the better of him if he lets go, ‘’I’ll leave it up to you.”

So, what you’re asking is… 

Jaebeom takes a deep breath to regain his composure, though it has little effect. His breathing remains heavy, close to panting. Nevertheless, the gentle stars return to his eyes as the strained expression softens. “Will you have me?”

[maybebanks]

Blow Up My Life

JJ Maybank x kook! reader

“What are we gonna do now? We have no way to dive without materials,” Pope tells the group.

“Guys we can’t give up now. There’s gotta be a way,” John B sighs.

John B had just been caught by Ward when trying to borrow some scuba gear to explore Scooters boat. They had to find some other way to get resources.

“JJ!” Pope exclaims as if JJ has been the answer that they were looking for all along.

“What’s JJ gonna do? Pick-pocket a touron?” Kie adds.

“Do I look like a kook to you?” JJ said, asking why Pope, the smartest kid he knew, was suggesting him as the answer.

“No, idiot. JJs dad used to work at that boat place right? There’s a kook girl that he always flirts with, she can hook us up!”

JJ rolled his eyes, “You mean Y/n? No way! I’m not asking her for shit,”

“Take one for the team, buddy,” John B pleads, getting excited at the possibility.

“She’s not gonna help,” JJ groaned. Fumbling with some keys on his backpack.

“I’ve seen you guys. You have a thing going,” Pope suggests.

JJ scoffs, “She’s gonna ask why. She won’t let us waste money if she doesn’t know what it’s for. Plus she has work to do,”

“She’s a kook though,” John B adds.

JJ never really pondered the fact that you were a kook, because you weren’t a snotty, annoying, bitch one.

“Barely. She’s like a Kiara-kook,” JJ explained, gesturing to Kie who was braiding her hair.

She stopped to give him a confused look.

“Still got the money though,” John B adds.

“Fine. I’ll ask her. I can’t believe you put me up to this. You all owe me!” JJ muttered as he slammed the door on the way out.

You and JJ had a complicated relationship. You met his dad before you met him. Your father owned the boat place that Mr.Maybank used to have a job at.

This gave you a bad impression of JJ. But you got to know him a little bit. He was sweet to you, but flirted non stop. Sometimes going overboard.

Nonetheless, you denied all his attempts. He never stopped trying, but at this point, that was just who he was. You both had interesting conversations almost always ending with you both roasting eachother.

When JJ got to the place, he knew better then to enter through the garded entrance. His dad was fired, so he wasn’t exactly welcomed in.

But he hopped the fense on the side and started creeping past the boats. Trying to be as descreet as possible.

Finally, he noticed you, bending over, fixing a boat. There was dirt trailing up your arms from the work, and your shorts were riding up your butt just a little.

JJ stiffened, he didn’t want to admit to the fact that he was attracted to a kook. Especially one that would never go for him.

You grabbed a wrench and started using it on the boat. But then, metal made a loud squeaking noise, and you jumped back.

“Shit.” You blurted in a disappointed tone, knowing that you just bursted a pipe and there would be consequences if fire got in the vicinity.

Less than a foot away from you, a broken wire began to spark. Your eyes widened and you instantly stepped back.

“Red 80!!” You shouted. This was in case anyone was near you and needed to take cover. Red was for the fire, and 80 was about the explosion. It was a saying you somewhat invented.

You ran towards the boat JJ was hiding behind and jumped to take cover there.

You turned the corner, and saw him.

“JJ?!” You couldn’t stop running and collided into his chest. “What are you doing here? Did you not hear me? There’s a red 80-“ you stopped when the loud eruption started.

You flinched towards JJ, and instinctively buried your head into his chest and grabbed a fist full of his shirt. His eyebrows were raised as he pulled you in, lifting his arm to shelter you. And placing a hand over your head just in case of debris.

It was a short explosion, and not one causing that much damage. But still, to JJ at least, a mistake worth making fun of.

“Not much of a hugger. But I kinda like that. Like a lot,” JJ said.

You pushed him back, “real nice,” you retaliated.

“No really. The whole damsel in distress thing...” JJ added.

You scoffed, brushing his flirts off, and got up to inspect the damage you had done.

“Feels all...James Bond,” JJ continued, gesturing to the explosion.

“It’s not too bad,” you say, in a tone that tells you you’re lying to yourself.

“Good luck telling your dad that,” JJ chuckles sarcastically.

With your hands on your hips you face him, “I think I’ll just tell him this happened the exact moment Maybank’s kid walked in. How exactly did you get in here again?”

JJ puts his hand on his heart, mocking offended.

Causing you to laugh at his facial expressions. You begin to walk away, when JJ jogs infront of you to stop you.

“Wait seriously?” He asks, slightly worried.

“No, dumbass. I’m no snitch,” you scoffed.

“That makes this next part easy,” JJ mutters, but you hear it.

“Huh?”

JJ scratches the back of his neck, he looks down at you, his eyebrow twitching as he involuntarily scans his eyes down your body.

“Ugh,” you scoffed, annoyed as you stepped past him, shoving his shoulder with yours. But it was more like his bicep.

“No, wait...I wanted to ask to borrow some gear. You know...for fun. Maybe cuz we’re cool, I thought you could hook me up?” JJ offered.

“How many?” You wondered.

“A few,” JJ said bluntly.

“So is this for you? Or the whole Scooby gang?”

JJ chuckled, it was always a joke between you two that him and his friends were the Scooby gang, always causing mischief, and riding around in that colorful van.

“The gang,” JJ stated.

“And they thought sending you was the best bet?” You joked.

“Ha, ha. Now please, I know you got some,” JJ said hopefully.

“Not for you, JJ,” you said and left him standing there while you tended to cleaning up the oil mess.

“If I help you fix this boat...then will you let me borrow some gear?” JJ asks, sitting down on the boat beside you.

“I’m working, JJ,” you brushed him off, hoping to ignore him.

You fumbled with the pipes, when JJ’s hand came into your vision. He was starting to help you, despite your protests.

He reconnects a pipe and twists a new bolt onto the latch. Stopping the oil from oozing out.

It makes a loud squeak, and right before he closes the metal, some fuel sprays in your face.

“Ah! JJ!” You scream as you wipe it off your cheek.

JJ smirks, “Whoops, my bad. I was aiming for your mouth,” JJ admits. And you roll your eyes.

A few seconds later, and after a few more moves. JJ fixes the damage you have done.

“This is huge! JJ thank you,”

“Ha. That’s what she said,” JJ mutters, to which you slap him on the arm.

“So...what do you say about helping me and my friends?” JJ brings up.

“Why do you need it? Going on some secret mission!” You tease, pushing his shoulder a little.

“I knew you wouldn’t help,” JJ mumbled.

“Why don’t you just ask your dad...oh right!” You trail off, trying to insult him back.

You see his demeanor change slightly, his jaw clenches in anger.

You and JJ have fought before, but it was all in good fun. You realized his dad was a sensitive topic.

“Come on,” you said, gesturing for him to follow you as you walked towards the scuba tank storage.

You hand him two tanks, “the rest are empty. So use these wisely,” you inform.

JJ smiles, “thank you,”

“Have fun with these,” you sigh, accidentally letting some longing push through in your voice.

“We will,” JJ says, throwing the tanks over his shoulder.

You smile softly, it was a fake smile that faded quickly.

So JJ noticed, his eyebrows furrowing. As a way of thanking you, he put aside his usual method of ignoring problems when he sees them.

“Are you okay?” JJ asked.

You looked at the ground, “yeah I’m cool,” you shrugged.

“You’re not mad about letting me borrow this stuff are you? I promise I’ll bring it back,” JJ tried to cheer you up, by holding out his pinkie finger.

“No. It’s not that. I just...I guess you and you’re friends are so close, and you always have so much fun together...sometimes I just wanna get in on that. You know?” You explained.

“But you’re a kook?” JJ said in shock, he never thought a kook would wish to trade their life for his.

“Yeah,” you said disappointedly, “it gets boring after a while,” you admitted.

“You have a pool in your backyard?” JJ defended, trying to mention reasons why your life shouldn’t be boring.

“Without friends to share it with...friends that know you...I don’t know. It’s okay. I’ll figure it out. You should get outta here. Before my dad finds you,” you suggest.

JJ struggles for words. He knew his friends would tease him if he did what he was thinking, but he didn’t care, “come with us,”

You gave him a surprised look at the offer, “really?”

“Totally. As long as you don’t embarrass me with all your kooky ways,” JJ joked.

“I think I will. All I have here is the same old, same-“

“HEY!” a male voice shouted suddenly. You jumped and turned to face the voice. But JJ had already started running towards the exit.

“JJ! You bastard,” you scolded.

“Oh right,” JJ blurted, he ran back to you, grabbed your arm, and started dragging you with him.

“What are you doing?!” You exclaimed, pushing him off.

“Your coming with me right?”

“Yeah. But I can walk myself,” you retort.

JJ explains, “We can’t walk, we have to run-“

“Is that Maybank?! I told you to never come back here, boy!” The male security man shouts.

You laugh and start running farther with JJ.

He hops a fence, the man still gaining on the both of you.

You’ve never hopped a fence before, but in the heat of the moment, and JJ’s motivation, you swung your feet over with ease and continued to run with JJ.

JJ was a little faster than you, so to catch up with him, you reached out and held his hand.

He was surprised, you could read it on his face, it wasn’t necessarily a bad-surprise, but he felt affection, in your touch.

He thought it was just adrenaline.

After what felt like a mile, JJ finally stopped running.

When you stopped, JJ carefully let go of your hand to run a hand through his hair.

You breathed heavily, “that was-“

“Fun right?” JJ smiled.

You laughed and felt a sudden nerve in your stomach. Almost like anxiety.

“You ready to meet my friends?”

That was it, your face flushed with nerves, “Wait, uh...are you sure they’ll want to. I mean...aren’t your friends very...anti-kook?” you wondered.

JJ scratches the back of his neck, “don’t worry. They’ll love you. And besides, I’m the most anti-kook and you can deal with me,”

You smiled at him, “true,”

You and JJ walked a little further and arrived at a house near the water.

“This is John B’s place. You can find me here a lot,” JJ said.

You already knew why JJ wouldn’t want to be home a lot. So you just nodded.

(Disclaimer: They we’re running with the scuba gear on their backs)

The Pogues ran out of the house to meet the both of you. Smiling when they saw the gear.

You didn’t feel used because you were there too.

The pogues didn’t expect to see you, and not to judge a book by its cover, but you didn’t look like a full kook.

Kiara approached JJ, “what’s she doing here?” She whispered.

John B smiled and held out a hand for you to shake, “hey, I’m John B,”

You greeted him back warmly, trying to hide the nerves.

“Hey, I’m Pope,” someone said from behind John B, “you’re Y/n right? We’ve heard a lot about you,”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, my boy JJ-“ Pope tries, but JJ steps in and elbows him in the gut.

“Welcome to the Cut,” John B says.

“She’s been to the Cut, genius,” Pope says, still recovering from the playful blow he took from JJ.

“Fine. Welcome to the Chateau.” He paused, “That better?”

[nintendroid]

Conker’s Bad Fur Day is a cult classic, a staple of the Nintendo 64 library and I want to throw it out the window. 

Ok, maybe that’s going overboard, especially considering how expensive an original copy is. To say that Conker’s BFD was a less-than-stellar experience for me is an understatement. After completing my 14-hour playthrough, I was left bummed out and disappointed - thanks in part to the unbelievably depressing ending.

I understand why it’s a  cult classic - it’s got a lot going for it, but after years of hype and top 10 lists and accolades, I just don’t feel that it’s up there with the likes of Super Mario 64 or Donkey Kong 64. 

“Blasphemy!” you say, “Heresy!” you say “You’re talking out of your rear-end!” you say, but that’s physically impossible, sir. I have my reasons and I think they’re justified. Does it mean you should hate the game too? Absolutely not. Play what you enjoy - this is simply a recital of my personal experience and at the end of it all, this is one guy’s opinion. 

So let’s start with the good stuff. Conker’s BFD is a very good-looking game graphically, and I adore the sound effects in this game - walking through mud/poop is like ASMR to me. The juxtaposition of a foul-mouthed, drunken squirrel with a cutesy, cartoony backdrop is funny at times and when the humor is good, it’s good. While a majority of the humor fell flat with me, there is some clever humor sprinkled throughout. I enjoyed the fourth-wall breaking stuff, the way stacks of cash would insult you in a Brooklyn-esq accent, the references to R-rated movies are pretty fun as well. 

Some of the levels have enjoyable gameplay. The Mighty Poo boss-fight and the gladiator-style caveman fight kept me playing, when I felt like tapping out. For better or worse, there’s a fair amount of variety here, ranging from platforming segments to third-person shooter, to puzzle-solving.

That sounds pretty good as I type it out and it gives me fond memories of the short times I enjoyed Conker’s BFD - then I remember the bad stuff. A big turn-off from the get go was the cynical humor. I know comedy is subjective - I watched “Joker” too but as a 30+ year-old man, my days of forcing myself to laugh at gore and mean-spirited humor are long in the past. Watching a cow crap like a fountain before being blown into bloody chunks or having the top of Conker’s head being sniped off with a fountain of blood accompanying it isn’t funny. Being that this dropped in 2001, Rare was definitely gunning for the South Park audience - which was white hot at the time. 

Performance issues are a big problem in crucial moments. BFD looks awesome and for the most part plays ok. If there’s a lot going on onscreen however, expect the framerate to nearly rival that of a slideshow. The worst example I can point to from the top of my head is the “Saving Private Ryan” stage near the end of the game. The rockets and gunfire slow the action down to a crawl, while the enemies spawn out of nowhere to destroy you in one quick blast. Speaking of...

Conker is pretty underpowered for the most part. You can’t upgrade your health so from start-to-finish you have six hits of life. Fall damage is ridiculous too and it’s very easy to take damage from falling even if you use your tail to float down. However, lives are easy to acquire and checkpoints are reasonable so it’s not an impossible game. It can be difficult, especially the dreaded  “Saving Private Ryan” stage as mentioned. 

I think next to the humor, the biggest flaw in BFD is just the gameplay. I mentioned the variety, but it isn’t variety in the same way as Banjo-Kazooie or Donkey Kong 64 where things feel different but cohesive - Its variety feels like they started with one idea to abandon it for the other. The “context” power-ups support that claim, where you only have power-ups related to whatever is going on in that stage. A clever humor device, but not an empowering video game mechanic. Is it really that hard to let me freely roam the land with a flamethrower and a shotgun? Why wait until I hop on a stupid “B”?

Conker’s Bad Fur Day could’ve been so much more in my eyes. A little more thought put into the gameplay, scale the humor back to PG-13 territory who, knows what kind of heights it would’ve reached? From here on I’ll choose to remember Conker fondly as the little squirrel who was fun to race as in Diddy Kong Racing. I’m interested to check out his Game Boy Color game to see what could’ve been. As far as Bad Fur Day goes, I’ll probably never play it again. I know it’s a classic in the minds of many, but this kind of stuff just isn’t for me. 

I’ll leave off with a question: If a sequel was made today, would you want to see them continue in the direction of Bad Fur Day, or take a more traditional platforming mascot route?

Screenshots/images: MobyGames