#this was just a simple thought that turned into a whole analysis

[3amdrabbles]

Midnighter and Apollo: A (slightly in depth) comic breakdown by someone who originally misunderstood the themes.

While I have always adored this comic, there was something that always bothered me a bit. But having re-read the series now that I am older and better understand media / media literacy, I can firmly say I was wrong about being bothered, and this comic deserves more praise and recognition.

Spoilers for a decade old comic

First things first, the part that made me uncomfortable when I was younger: The fact that Apollo ended up in Hell in the first place.

One of the few openly gay characters in DC gets killed and sent to Hell, pretty unceremoniously and suddenly. And while it worked from a narrative standpoint, having Midnighter go to Hell for his love, it did strike me as uncomfortable as a young queer kid struggling with my self-worth because of being queer.

And it’s implied, if not outright said at times, that it weren’t Apollo’s ‘normal’ sins that brought him to Hell. Pride, Murder, that kinda stuff. Yes, this is mostly said by Apollo himself, but the comic frames him as being in the right about this, and so we as an audience are pushed to believe this.

So then, why did he end up in Hell?

And that is where I originally went wrong. I shouldn’t have felt uncomfortable about the fact DC sent one of their only queer characters to Hell. Because that was the whole point of it. It wasn’t condemning and it wasn't some thoughtless, empty decision that just happened to have some negative connotations attached to it.

This comic is a beautiful, metaphorical representation of the queer experience

This story is one of love and accepting those around you (and yourself) as who they are, while helping them be the best version of themselves.

Apollo talks about how he has already gone through his own kind of Hell before, many times. From how he got his powers to his unaccepting father. Yet he persisted. He stayed true to himself, he didn’t break and he didn’t give in to what people wanted of him. Apollo being in Hell is nothing new, this time it's just more literal.

And we see that he persists. We see him fight and overcome because he knows that he deserves better than the sentences and punishments pushed onto him by other people. He knows that he doesn’t deserve this Hell of someone else's making.

And while he can survive, or even escape this Hell, on his own, it becomes easier with someone there at his side. Someone willing to risk anything, because Apollo is his everything.

In the beginning of the story, Midnighter refuses to accept Apollo is gone. He knows there must be something he can do, something to try or someone to beat up to get his love back. While Apollo is in a literal Hell, Midnighter goes through a personal one. The worst kind of Hell for someone like Midnighter; he feels helpless. He wants to protect the man he loves, but he simply can't. He doesn't know what to do.

And where Apollo's side of the story deals with being sure of who you are and persisting through the bad times, Midnighter's side is about the consequences that come with being who you are.

An enemy from Minighter’s past wanted to hurt him, and did so by way of targeting Apollo. The hate and anger pointed at Midnighter is what killed Apollo.

Apollo became a victim for loving Midnigher.

At the end of the comic, Midnighter explains to Apollo that he is, and always will be, a killer. That he is sure of himself and he hopes Apollo can accept. This scene, while likely not intended as such, reads so much as a way of coming out.

I know I probably read too much into it, and that Steve Orlando likely just wanted to write a fun and heartfelt story reminiscent of Greek mythology between these two lovers.

But to me, this story really represents the queer experience. The Hell forced upon you by others, watching those you surround yourself with get hurt because of who you or they are, but also the steadfastness of knowing who you are, the love and support that comes with being yourself, and knowing there's always the light to pull you out of the dark.

While I firmly believe Midnighter and Apollo were at their best in the old Wildstorm/Authority comics, this run has really become a favorite of mine that I highly recommend to anyone even remotely interested in comics or these characters.

And I hope I managed to portray my thoughts semi-cohesively.

[artisimpossible]

I used to work for a trade book reviewer where I got paid to review people's books, and one of the rules of that review company is one that I think is just super useful to media analysis as a whole, and that is, we were told never to critique media for what it didn't do but only for what it did.

So, for instance, I couldn't say "this book didn't give its characters strong agency or goals". I instead had to say, "the characters in this book acted in ways that often felt misaligned with their characterization as if they were being pulled by the plot."

I think this is really important because a lot of "critiques" people give, if subverted to address what the book does instead of what it doesn't do, actually read pretty nonsensical. For instance, "none of the characters were unique" becomes "all of the characters read like other characters that exist in other media", which like... okay? That's not really a critique. It's just how fiction works. Or "none of the characters were likeable" becomes "all of the characters, at some point or another, did things that I found disagreeable or annoying" which is literally how every book works?

It also keeps you from holding a book to a standard it never sought to meet. "The world building in this book simply wasn't complex enough" becomes "The world building in this book was very simple", which, yes, good, that can actually be a good thing. Many books aspire to this. It's not actually a negative critique. Or "The stakes weren't very high and the climax didn't really offer any major plot twists or turns" becomes "The stakes were low and and the ending was quite predictable", which, if this is a cute romcom is exactly what I'm looking for.

Not to mention, I think this really helps to deconstruct a lot of the biases we carry into fiction. Characters not having strong agency isn't inherently bad. Characters who react to their surroundings can make a good story, so saying "the characters didn't have enough agency" is kind of weak, but when you flip it to say "the characters acted misaligned from their characterization" we can now see that the *real* problem here isn't that they lacked agency but that this lack of agency is inconsistent with the type of character that they are. a character this strong-willed *should* have more agency even if a weak-willed character might not.

So it's just a really simple way of framing the way I critique books that I think has really helped to show the difference between "this book is bad" and "this book didn't meet my personal preferences", but also, as someone talking about books, I think it helps give other people a clearer idea of what the book actually looks like so they can decide for themselves if it's worth their time.

Update: This is literally just a thought exercise to help you be more intentional with how you critique media. I'm not enforcing this as some divine rule that must be followed any time you have an opinion on fiction, and I'm definitely not saying that you have to structure every single sentence in a review to contain zero negative phrases. I'm just saying that I repurposed a rule we had at that specific reviewer to be a helpful tool to check myself when writing critiques now. If you don't want to use the tool, literally no one (especially not me) can or wants to force you to use it. As with all advice, it is a totally reasonable and normal thing to not have use for every piece of it that exists from random strangers on the internet. Use it to whatever extent it helps you or not at all.

[lych33dragoncookie]

Only the masterpieces that survive the fiercest flames earn their place in history.

(Analysis post)

Alright, they absolutely cooked this update. Like, undeniably so. I was admittedly not that huge of a fan of the last 2 beast yeast chapters we got; they had really good ideas, and Mystic Flour is a wonderful character, but... Dark Cacao hasn't really been done enough with for it to feel like it had the amount of weight it could have, and it really doesn't feel like much about him actually changed at all. Combine that with a complete lack of interesting dynamics and you have a lot of very good and genuinely pretty well thought out story concepts with extensive cultural research, executed in a way that feels more like a traditional old-school story that weakens the attachment the audience feels to the components of said story.

Here, though? I have no complaints so far. It was absolutely wild in fact, to the point where I don't think it's gonna happen again (nor am I entirely sure it should ever happen again). This was back to back, non-stop, smack to the face one after the other. The moment the first point of conflict came up, it was just shit happening left and right; even in the mandatory moment of rest where we chill out for a bit, it's revealed that hey, these sandstorms? Yeah the sand is actually ashes. It's the remains of all the people that live here. Whether they died off on their own or were killed by someone else.

And if that wasn't enough, very shortly after;

... It's fucking crack.

So, people die and kill each other here very frequently, and not only are their remains visibly on display, their ashes also become sandstorms that make it near impossible to navigate the land; on top of being something that people snort like cocaine to become more energetic and aggressive.

We started fucking wild, dude. This whole thing is pulling no punches.

Though, I do wanna note; I really, really enjoyed the interactions between Smoked Cheese and Golden Cheese. It shows not only how forgiving she is, but how these two have known each other for an incredibly long time, and know each other well. They're incredibly comfortable around each other, despite it all, and despite how brazen and Very Much Not Strategic the queen here can be. I really, really enjoyed them.

Always fun to see a recovering villain do things for good, but in their own unique way that's still not exactly heroic but definitely effective and, at times, very gratifying.

Though I enjoyed all this, there's one thing I wanna talk about above all else.

The star of the show. Note that every single part was enjoyable, of course, and he wouldn't be half as interesting without Golden Cheese Cookie to serve as a parallel, but they've cooked up something special here.

So far, Burning Spice's extent of onscreen appearance is very, very short, but... I don't think I need to tell you that he's already made an impact and a half.

Christ, that's violent. With the sound effects and everything too, god damn. But, I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a pretty superficial source of judgement for this character. It's very very telling of what kind of person he is now, what he's all about, what he's willing to do, what he likes doing, but...

More than anyone else in recent memory, the devil is in the details. So let's look at those details.

Nothing too much so far, other than how much he absolutely loves destruction, but there's already a trend; namely on "Nothing lasts forever. It's as simple as that", "In the end, everything becomes dust.", and "You, too, shall see that destruction is the only way.". There seems to be an infatuation with the natural process of everything fading away, turning to dust and dying out. An entirely honest one, believing that there is just about nothing else to life. These will be important to keep in mind.

Here, we see a bit of his current relationship with his own immortality. He doesn't seem to mind the idea of losing it, finding something that may eventually take him down, but he still takes great pride in it. These lines, in text, seem somewhat miserable (and trust me, they definitely are), but the voicework in just about every language conveys that they are said in a more neutral, even potentially proudly manner. Again, not much on their own, but...

Here's where we get into the fun part.

This. This is the crux of their character. At the start, him and Golden Cheese cookie were more or less the same. Benevolent royalty, close and personal with their subjects. Beloved, and loving.

And then, they lost it all.

One way or another, their kingdoms were lost, reduced to almost nothing. They were overcome by grief, desperate, unable to cope with their loss. One tried to latch on as hard as possible. Preserve what she could, blindly, replacing the harsh truth of reality with an idealized, constructed world, where no one would ever have to know pain ever again. She shut herself off, and retreated in the safety and peace of a false reality. She would rather have lied to both herself and all her subjects than face reality. And eventually, she had to learn to move on. Let herself and her kingdom heal more naturally, facing reality. The other, meanwhile, was desperate to let go. He detached himself, trying to move past the pain of loss. But, of course, he couldn't force it to happen. No one can. And so with the grief of losing that which he held dear, continuing to be faced with the reality that nothing is forever, over and over, while he endured, the world slowly turning to ash around them again and again... It's no wonder something in there eventually cracked.

What will it take to destroy me. Nothing is forever, and yet, I am.

Nothing is forever. And yet, I am.

With time, misery turned to mania, and in an attempt to overcome their grief, they embraced it, in the worst way possible. A coping mechanism gone horrendously wrong. That destruction, that loss, the inevitability of death... It's not painful, no. It doesn't have to be. It can be thrilling. Exhilarating. A new reason to live. If all you care about turns to dust anyways, if that's really the only logical destination... Why not have some fun with it? Why not embody that inevitable, unstoppable force? Why not become what you fear, so you no longer have to be afraid anymore?

... You know, at least that's what I think is going on here. The next chapter could contradict this reading, but... From what all we have right now, it seems like Golden Cheese and Burning Spice are two completely different paths for the exact same type of pain. They are, in a way, the same, but diverge in almost complete opposite ways where it counts.

Spice is genuinely equal parts absolutely terrifying and absolutely miserable; a balance that is incredibly hard to strike in writing, but always absolutely fascinating and wonderful to observe when it happens. I have to say, the more I found out about them, the more I couldn't keep my eyes off everything they have going on.

I'm loving every little bit of this update. Mad props to the devs for cooking something up here that I am genuinely incredibly invested in, almost to the same degree as White Lily and Dark Enchantress. Banger update. Absolute S tier material.

TL;DR: Burning Spice is terrifying, miserable, and ridiculously cool. Everything about this update was an absolute merciless flurry of consecutive gut-punches. And I loved every second of it.

... Now we sit and wait for Shadow Milk's release next year.

[hellvst]

OFFSEASON – quinn hughes

featuring ; quinn hughes x fmc (sydney gray)

✮⋆˙ warning & content ; swearing

✮⋆˙ word count ; 4.7k

✮⋆˙ previous chapter – series masterlist – next chapter

a/n ; quinn is playing + canucks won yesterday against la? we are soo back! i kinda forgot to give simon a face claim...oops! but, i did have an idea or picture him to look similar to kevin fiala or roman josi, i just can't find a face claim for him. it's up to your imagination as well! happy reading <3

CHAPTER TWO

SYDNEY

My alarm went off multiple times within the past fifteen minutes, and kept hitting the snooze button each time it did. So much for wanting to wake up early this morning.

I fluttered my eyes open, adjusting to the natural light through the window.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the dull ache in my right leg. It wasn’t a sharp pain–more like a persistent stiffness, reminding me that no matter how much progress I made, and lots of physiotherapy sessions, I wouldn’t always feel one hundred percent.

There was no point in dwelling on it. I had a busy day ahead, and self-pity wasn’t on the agenda. Not today.

I ungracefully got out of bed–did some stretches, single-leg squats, and hopped on one foot.

Nothing some movement wouldn’t fix.

The discomfort usually disappeared once I got my body moving. Truly odd, but if it got me through the day, I was not going to complain.

I moved through my morning routine with muscle memory. A quick shower, skin care, matching black compression set, an oversized hoodie thrown on without much thought, and tied my hair into a ponytail.

By the time I made it to the kitchen, the coffee machine was already doing its magic. As I waited, I flipped the TV on in the living room out of habit as I did every morning. 

The post-game analysis was still running from last night’s Canucks-Oilers’ game. I wasn’t surprised that this was the first thing that popped up on the screen, considering it’s been a while since my hometown, Vancouver, had made a playoff appearance. It was a huge deal for the city.

I caught a whiff of the last few minutes after getting home late from the studio–just in time to witness the whole debacle unfold. 

My brother, Simon, and his teammate.

The miscommunication. The puck hitting the post. The loss.

A blown play that cost them a ticket to conference finals. 

Now, every analyst, reporter, or fan was commenting and dissecting it.

“This was a complete breakdown,” one of the reporters began. “Simon Gray and Quinn Hughes were on totally different pages the entire game. You can’t have your best forward and your top defensemen out of sync in the most important moments–”

I turned the TV off and took a sip of my coffee, already knowing how that played out. My stomach was tightening at the sight of Simon after the buzzer went off.

Before the game, I sent him a short and simple ‘good luck!’, and haven’t heard from him since. Fair enough, given the outcome of the game.

Simon was going to be miserable for days, maybe weeks, more likely the entire summer. My brother was going to be impossible to deal with after that. And if history has taught itself, he was going to blame others for his mistakes. He always did.

I looked at the time, almost choking on my coffee, “Shit.”

I was running late for my first private session of the day, and Phoebe–one of my regular clients–was going to get there before me. Again.

If someone had asked me years ago what I saw myself doing, being a Pilates instructor wouldn’t even make the list. But life has a way of throwing you in places you’d never expect.

It started after the incident, I don’t talk about it much–there was nothing left to say. It happened. It definitely changed things. And for a very long time, I felt lost in my own body, like going through motions without purpose.

Doctors and my physiotherapist gave me exercises, stretches, and a never-ending list of things to “try”. Nothing clicked. Nothing felt right.

Until, I stepped into my first Pilates class. I remembered feeling a bit skeptical at first, convinced it was another trendy workout–the one all the girls tried out. It was the first time in a long time I felt connected to myself again. 

I kept going. I got better. And then I got really good. Good enough that one day, the owner of the studio I’d been training at, pulled me aside and asked if I ever thought about teaching. 

I laughed at the time, but the idea lingered that it stuck. And here I was: an instructor at Lumé Wellness–the top studio branch in Vancouver–fully booked for the summer, doing what I love.

The studio wasn’t that far from my apartment, twenty minutes tops without traffic which most days I was thankful for.

By the time I made it to the studio, sure enough, Phoebe was already inside one of the private rooms, stretching on the mat.

She raised an eyebrow at me as I put my bag down. “Would it kill you to be on time for once?” Phoebe teased, pulling her dark curls into a bun.

I rolled my eyes and started stretching beside her. “It’s five minutes.”

She shrugged and wiggled her brows, “Five minutes that I spent wondering if you were late because a guy kept you up last night.”

“Oh my God,” I groaned with a smile. “Don’t start this again, Phoebe.”

All she did was grin, absolutely delighted at the sight of my suffering. Phoebe was in her late forties, a social butterfly with too much energy for the morning slot, and too much curiosity for her own good. 

Plus the fact she was newly single and thriving in the chaos of her impending divorce, loved to poke at my non-existing dating life. She was a sucker for drama, and if my love life–or lack thereof–could provide her entertainment, she’d without a doubt take it.

“Oh come on, humor me, Syd. There has to be someone,” she said, settling onto the reformer. “You’re giving off the ‘I’m seeing someone new’ glow.”

I scoffed at her. “That ‘glow’ you’re referring to is just the new overhead lighting.”

She snorted then sighed dramatically as I adjusted her stance, “You know, you should really make time for some fun.”

“I have fun.” I argued.

“Pilates and binge-watching The Office at home doesn’t count.”

She got me there.

We continued on with our session. Usually with Phoebe, time flies so fast when all she did was rant about her life–pestering me about mine–but she eventually let it go once we began the harder exercises.

I barely got a moment to breathe before moving on to my bigger group session. To my luck, this group was breeze to get through as they followed my exercises on the reformer with ease. Not to mention, the music blasting through the speakers in the studio allowed them to get into that rhythm which was helpful as well.

Just when the last song ended, the group of ladies’ chests heaved, the room was filled with breaths of exhaustion, and a few went straight for their water bottles.

“Alright, ladies! Great work today! Hope to see you in our next class.”

They all left one by one, saying ‘bye’ on their way out, until I was the only one left.

Two or three classes to teach in the mornings usually had me working around lunch.

And by then, I was starving. 

My routine was pretty much the same, there was not a lot to do with an hour break. But, most days consisted of grabbing a quick meal at the nearest bistro or cafe with my closest friend. As I was about to pick up my things off the floor, my phone in my pocket buzzed.

Speak of the devil herself.

“Hey, Diane,” I answered, tucking my phone in between my ear and shoulder as I packed.

“Are we still on for lunch? I’m already at the café.”

I heard the faint lively sounds of the city of Vancouver in the background. “Yeah, I’m about to leave the studio and make my way–”

“Sydney?”

Right as I was trying to make a beeline to the doors, I turned to see Grace–the owner of the studio–peeking out her office door. My stomach dropped.

“One sec, Di.” I lowered my phone, ending the call. “Everything alright, Grace?”

“Can you step into my office for a minute?”

Fuck. This cannot be good. 

I followed her inside. It was a rare sight to see any of the studio employees in Grace’s office, she usually came to talk to me after my classes, never the other way around.

She never gave off vibes that ever intimidated me. I have never seen her upset with anyone, unless they truly pushed her buttons. The word ‘nervous’ wasn’t enough to express how I was feeling right then and there.

“Have a seat,” she gestured to the empty chair across from her. I gave her a smile, but beneath that was a wave of anxiety washing over me.

I tried to figure out what I might have done wrong. Did someone complain? Did I mix up the schedules or bookings? Did Phoebe finally rat me out for showing up late most of the time? The idea of me getting fired was not on my list of things today.

Grace sat behind her desk, clasping her hands together. “I have some news for you.”

Oh God. This is it. I was getting fired.

“I know your lunch break just started, so I’ll just get straight to it.” Grace had always been forward when she spoke. “There’s an opportunity with the Vancouver Canucks. Their management reached out about a summer cross-training program. They wanted us to coordinate it.”

I blinked at her, “And…?”

“And I told them you’d do it.”

As if my eyes couldn’t get any wider than it was. I stared at her in complete and utter disbelief, waiting for some sort of punchline. “You’re joking.”

Grace smiled, “Nope.”

I would have never imagined she’d say those words. This might be worse than getting fired.

There had been a few occasions when I had worked with soccer clubs, and a few college football players for cross-training. But, I had never done a session with the professional leagues such as the NHL. This was way different.

“Grace, I’m flattered but–” I thought about my words carefully, “I have a full schedule this summer and–”

“I am aware of your busy schedule,” she said, waving a hand. “I already adjusted your schedule accordingly to accommodate for this.”

Of course she did..

I opened my mouth, then closed it. This conversation was already headed towards the direction I dreaded. “There are other instructors here that I think are more qualified–who have worked in this studio for much longer that are more deserving for this job.”

Grace raised a brow at me, “Do you think I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think you were more than qualified?”

Shit. I had that coming. I basically dug that hole myself. 

I stayed silent for my own good, Grace knew she was right and she sighed. 

“They want you,” she said simply.

“What? Why?”

I answered a bit too quickly, unknowingly raising my voice an octave or two. I shift in my chair, clearing my throat having just panicked in front of my boss.

“Well, given that you have a good background on hockey, I thought you were perfect for the position. Not to mention that their head coach, Rick Tocchet, had also referred to you. And if it helps, it’s not the entire team you will train with. Just two of their players.” Her lips twitched as she leaned in her seat. “One of them being your brother.”

My stomach twisted. I should have seen this from a mile away. Why didn’t I make that connection instantly right when she said ‘Vancouver Canucks’?

After all, my older brother Simon was one of the top forwards for the team.

Although, he may be my family and I would do anything for him–I wouldn’t train him or anyone on his team for that matter. Hockey was Simon’s thing, and I had my own so we stayed out of each other’s lane. And we like to keep it that way.

Plus, I wasn’t all that into men that played hockey. They weren’t my go-to type. But, I would be lying to myself if I didn't think there were some head-turners, but nothing too crazy of the sort. I have never dated a hockey guy.

I blinked, tapping out of my short trance. My brain was processing the fact that I was going to spend all summer with my brother and his teammate. 

Which led me to another question for Grace. 

“So, if I’m training my brother–” I said, dragging out the last word. “–who is the other?”

She took a moment before she replied, “Quinn Hughes.”

That brought me to a full stop. What?

My eyes were nothing but bloodshot, “Quinn Hughes?” There was absolutely no hiding my distraught expression, even if I tried my hardest to contain it. “That’s asking for the impossible, Grace. It would take a miracle for those two to work together.”

Shocked doesn’t even begin to cover what I was feeling.

Simon hated Quinn Hughes. I have spent the last few years listening to him ranting about how Quinn came in a year after he was drafted and ‘ruined’ everything–climbing the ranks, breaking franchise records as a defensemen, and taking the spotlight. 

I never truly understood the obsession. Simon had never acted this way growing up, especially towards another teammate. Now, he’s spent years resenting Quinn, blaming him for everything that has gone wrong in his career. I have asked multiple times specifically why he hated him so much, all I got was some half-assed answer.

And I’ve never met the guy, but from what I’ve seen, he seems alright.

“Your job is to make sure they don’t kill each other,” Grace continued. “I told Rick Tocchet you’d do it. And of course, you will be paid. More importantly, the Canucks’ are willing to invest in our studio. We’re growing and this would help fund more studios to expand, Sydney.”

Wow. It would be a great deal for Lumé Wellness now that I think about it. After adding the brand new Pilates reformers and more intensive sessions, our class attendances shot through the roof. The space in our studio was limited and we were growing in numbers as waitlists were piling up. 

What kind of Pilates instructor would I be if I didn’t want that for the studio?

I exhaled a sigh, “What about the media? They will be a problem–”

“We will handle it,” Grace cut me off. “After what happened last night, there’s no doubt that the press will track two of their star players’ moves throughout the summer. That’s why Rick, the Canuck’s team, and I will ensure that we will keep the training sessions on the down-low to prevent the media from talking.” 

That reassured me to an extent, but I was still skeptical. This was a bad idea.

It was easy to figure out why this arrangement was set in the first place. Those two, especially my brother, needed to stop acting like children and start acting like grown adults. Play like real professional hockey players. 

After the loss last night, it was only a matter of time when their team did something about it. I was surprised that it took them long enough. A few years ago, I wondered why they hadn't forced them to be stranded on an island together. Maybe surviving off an island together surely would have allowed them to work together at least.

The look in Grace’s eyes were telling me that there was no way out of this. Even if I came up with more excuses or tried to find a replacement, her (and apparently Rick Tocchet) mind was already made up.

I leaned back in my chair, my head was spinning in constant circles. “Is there any way for me to get out of this?”

“No.”

Damn. A complete shut down.

“Of course not,” I mumbled.

She gave me a knowing look, “Everything will be fine, that I can assure you, Sydney. Sessions will begin in two weeks.”

And just like that, my fate was sealed. Great.

I nodded my head as Grace dismissed me out of her office, gave her a small wave. I stepped out of the studio, took a deep breath trying to process what just happened in the last few minutes. I still couldn’t believe it.

My phone went off. Four missed calls and numerous text messages from Diane.

I called her back, and the second she picked up, she was already yelling. “Where the hell are you?”

A dull throb in my temple ached. “I got held up, I’ll be there in ten.”

“What happened?”

I sighed and began walking down the sidewalk. “You’re never going to believe me if I told you.”

The café was already packed by the time I got there, the low hum of conversation blending with the clinking of cups and the hiss of the espresso machine.

I spotted Diane almost immediately, she sat by the window, with a half-eaten bagel and small bits of crumbs on the table. She glanced up just as I approached her and instantly raised a brow.

“You’re late,” she said, pointing at me with her bagel in hand. “Again.”

“Sorry, I got held up.” I told her as I dropped into the chair across from her.

She playfully scoffed and held up her now empty cup, “Enough that I already finished one latte.” She smirked before setting it down. “Alright, spill. What was so important that you hung up on me and left me hanging here?”

“Grace.”

Diane’s eyes widened at that. She knew how rare it was for me–or anyone in the studio– to get caught up in Grace’s hair to get sent to her office. There were only good things I have told Diane about my boss over the years. Like the time she gave all the studio employees a gift certificate to the infamous spa in the north side of the city. It was generous of her, but it was quite expensive.

I took a deep breath before explaining to my friend of my new summer plans. Having to say it all out loud made me realize how real this was. It was going to happen and I wasn’t just dreaming in that office.

“Wait. I’m sorry, what?” Diane nearly choked on her coffee.

“Yep,” I popped the ‘p’, and nodded at her. “You heard me.”

For a split second, there was silence. 

Her face lit up accompanied with a squeal. Oh no. Here we go.

Diane’s expression was something between shock and excitement, “Syd, are you serious? That’s freaking nuts!” Unaware of her volume, she earned the glances of other customers in the café. We were both quick to give them apologetic nods. She leaned closer across the table, her voice quieter this time, “That’s huge, Syd!”

I scoffed, “I wouldn’t call it that.”

Diane grinned, “Are you kidding? You get to train professional athletes. NHL players. Do you know how many people would kill for that opportunity?”

She was right. It’s not everyday that you get to work with athletes in the big leagues. Anyone in the studio could have easily taken this job and taken the news a lot more lightly and professionally than I did. But no, oddly enough I didn’t have any other choice or say in the decision.

I shook my head at her, slumping into my seat. “It’s not that simple.”

Diane tilted her head as if I grew another pair of eyes, “What’s not simple about that? You get to train with your brother and I don’t think that’s all too difficult, right? Shouldn’t it be easier since he is your brother?”

As much as I loved my brother, we liked keeping our lives separate from each other. He had his career, and I had mine. Not saying that I wasn’t proud of him or embarrassed that my brother was one of the hockey stars in the league. I was very proud that he achieved his dreams, why wouldn’t I be? I just liked supporting him from the sidelines. 

“Me and Simon are close but–” I paused, tracing the rim of my coffee cup with my finger. “We don’t mix our careers or get involved in each other’s business. Now, I’m being thrown right into it and it just…complicates things.”

Diane watched me carefully, “Is that really a bad thing?”

I hesitated before answering her. “I’ve never really been a part of his hockey world, this was totally unexpected. Hell, I don’t even know if he knows about it. He hasn’t texted me since yesterday before the game.” 

“Okay, so you’re only training your brother. Big deal. It’s not like you’re training with the whole team.” She waved a hand, acting like that was the only issue I was dealing with.

I shot her a look, I accidentally left out a big piece of information while explaining to her.

“And Quinn Hughes,” I added flatly.

Diane’s jaw dropped to the floor, “Wait–Quinn Hughes? As in, the captain of the team and the best defensemen in the league ‘Quinn Hughes’?”

As far as hockey goes for Diane, she had no interest in the sport, unless there was eye-candy on the team. When it came down to the NHL, the only names she was familiar with were the ‘good-looking’ guys, my brother, and Quinn Hughes. 

I nodded, then took a quick sip of my coffee, “Apparently, my job is to make sure they don’t kill each other during the summer.”

“Wow. That’s definitely…something.”

“Exactly.” I crossed my arms. “I barely know Quinn. But, Simon? He’s been going off about the guy for years. And now I’m supposed to train them. Together? That’s a shitshow waiting to happen.”

Diane shrugged her shoulders, looking at me thoughtfully. “Or maybe it’s an opportunity.”

My brow raised at that, “To do what? Watch my brother have a meltdown? Yeah, no thanks.” 

“But–”

I groaned, “Diane.”

She was teasing, and she never fails to get away with it. “I’m just saying, maybe this isn’t the worst thing. You’ll be challenged. You’ll make new connections. And–” She paused. “Who knows, this might just be the most interesting thing going for you right now since the accident–nevermind, sorry.”

Ouch. That stung.

But, Diane was right. As much as I’d like to think that my life was perfect and everything was going the right places, deep down, I knew it wasn’t. Ever since I got hurt and went through months of recovering, the course of direction my life was heading towards took a hard turn.

Now, I have ended up here. But, I wasn’t not grateful as things could have been worse, very worse. Over the years, I had to learn how to go with the flow and accept it.

I knew she didn’t mean to say that with bad intentions. Diane always wanted what was best for me, and I was glad that she felt that way since I would do the same with her. She was my longest friend for as long as I could remember.

She gave me an apologetic smile, “If anything, maybe your brother can introduce you to his teammates or–”

I playfully shook my head, then stood up with my empty cup in my hands. “I’m getting more coffee.”

She laughed, “Fine. But, I am not done talking about this.”

I gave her a look over my shoulder before heading over to the front counter. The café was even busier now, and I had to squeeze past a few people waiting for their orders. I handed my cup to the barista, tapping my fingers against the counter as I waited.

Diane’s words lingered in my head. Maybe this was a big opportunity, Maybe I was overreacting. But there was still that anxious feeling in my stomach, my subconscious telling me that I was not ready for this.

The barista handed me the the refilled cup, and I turned back towards our table–

Only to be met with a sudden, solid force.

The next thing I knew, the warmth of hot coffee spilled down the front of my hoodie. I sucked in a sharp breath as the heat seared against my skin right through the fabric. “Fuck!”

The impact rattled me, as I staggered back, barely managing to keep hold of the cup and maintaining my balance. I looked down at the damage, dark brown stains spread across the pale gray fabric.

I clenched my jaw. Just perfect. 

“Shit, I–”

I glanced up, ready to give whoever it was a piece of my fucking mind and–

I froze. No, it can’t be.

Quinn fucking Hughes.

Stood right in front of me, low and behold, looked just as surprised as I did.

Up close, he was taller than I expected–maybe I was just short– lean but solid, his broad shoulders filling out his fitted black hoodie effortlessly. His dark hair was slightly tousled under his hat; damp at the ends like he’d just finished practice or a workout, and completely blended with the crowd of people as if he wasn’t one of the biggest NHL players in the league.

I blinked, my brain lagging for a second. I’ve seen him on TV, many times before, in clips that Simon had angrily sent me after a few bad games, but seeing him up close was different. Very different.

He had his own unique attractiveness, I won’t lie. He had the light scruffy stubble around his jaw–sharp jawline, and piercing greenish blue eyes that made him look intense, but there was a softness in the way that he blinked at me, momentarily thrown off.

What was he doing here of all places?

He didn’t seem to realize that I wasn’t saying anything and ran a hand through his hair, looking somewhat embarrassed. “I, uh–” He hesitated, looking vaguely horrified at the sight of my hoodie. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t paying attention.”

I exhaled through my nose, forcing myself to calm down despite the feeling of coffee soaking into my hoodie. “Yeah, no kidding.”

 He pulled a handful of napkins from the counter and offered them to me, “Here.”

“Thanks.” I took them from his grasp and attempted to clean the stain, knowing it wouldn’t do much but tried anyway. 

“I can buy you another one,” Quinn offered, nodding towards the counter. “Or, at least a new hoodie?

I shook my head, frustrated that the napkins were making my hoodie worse. “I don’t need anything from an NHL player, alright–”

Oh shit. My eyes widened as soon as the words slipped from my mouth. 

That caught him off guard, and so had I.

Quinn���s expression lit up and brows furrowed instantly at that, curiosity flashing in his eyes. “So, you know who I am?”

“Yes, I do.” I said in a tone indicating that it wasn’t a good thing. 

He studied me for a moment. Probably thinking that I was a hockey fan or whatnot.

“Can I at least get your name or number?” He paused, scrambling to rephrase what his intentions were behind that question. “To replace your hoodie or pay for dry cleaning, anything to fix what I caused.”

He sounded pretty genuine and his intentions were nothing but pure, hopefully.

I gave him a look, “I’m not making you buy me a hoodie. I can take care of this–” I looked down at the mess. “–myself. So, I think I’ll respectfully pass up on that offer of yours.”

As I was about to turn my back on him, his fingers found the material of my sleeve, and swiftly pulled me back. “Hey look, I’d feel really bad if I left here without making it up to you.”

“Oh, really?” 

He only nodded, which amused me.

“I think I can survive without your help, but thanks.”

Quinn’s lips twitched like he wanted to smile, but thought the better of it before I turned around.

I felt his eyes linger on me as soon as I made my way back to Diane. She watched the whole thing and she looked like she was about to lose her damn mind once I sat down.

I glanced over my shoulder back to where Quinn stood. I was so lost in that interaction that I hadn’t noticed two other of his Canuck buddies were standing behind him. I watched them laughing–most likely teasing him–about what they witnessed. Great, that was just great.

“What the actual fuck just happened, Syd?” 

I wish I knew.

all rights reserved © 2025 hellvst. please do not copy, translate, or modify my works in any platform.

[seraph-starman]

✮. pseudo-suits

⋆summary… while on a hunt with the winchesters, you encounter an odd team of FBI agents (spn x criminal minds crossover!)

⋆word count… 950

⋆remi's notes… this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and i haven’t had the motivation to finish it but yeah anyways

You knew as soon as you laid eyes on them that they were feds. Not that they were really dressed like feds, or even vaguely resembled the typical agents you encountered. But they were too odd a crew to be anything else. Mostly it was the tall, lanky kid that was flipping through the stacks of journals at record speed, his hair tucked back behind his ears, that was strange. He wasn’t exactly a kid, but he did seem younger than the other two, closest in age to the dark-haired woman peering at the bloodstains in the white carpet. The other agent was an older, grumpy-looking man with a beard who was mostly just observing the police and his fellows. You simply watched the agents collect clues, discussing the physical and psychological details of some non-existent serial killer as Sam dialed Dean to confirm your suspicions of a werewolf. The sheriff joined the trio, nodding along to everything they said.

“…signs of a struggle… he had to have been taller than the victim…”

They were signs of a struggle alright, and a surely overpowered one. The victim had no chance against such a beast. You couldn’t help a feeling of superiority blooming in your chest; to you and Sam, it was a simple case, a werewolf that had been hunting for years in the area, smart enough to spread them out so that it remained unsuspicious. That was, until the FBI started to connect them, chalking it up to some sick serial killer who collected hearts as trophies. And apparently, they decided to send not one, not two, but three agents to come check it out. You turned to Sam as soon as you finished analyzing them, you both knew your FBI cover was harder to maintain when actual agents were at the scene. You were about to high-tail it out of there, dragging Sam behind you like a mother ushering her disobedient child out of a grocery store, when the sheriff approached questioningly. Sam prepared to flash him his fake, shiny badge and his most charming smile despite your harshly whispered protests.

“Sam. We can’t-“

You were cut off by the gruff-voiced sheriff.

“More agents? I thought a whole unit was enough, but I guess not. Follow me.”

The sheriff leads you through the crime scene, pointing and explaining various, obvious signs of a werewolf attack. You glare at Sam behind the sheriff’s back, thanking him as he finally leaves you to get your own opinions on the scene. You were prepared to drag Sam out of there when a smooth voice stopped you. Again.

“You guys from the borough?”

Sam narrows his eyes by a fraction as the dark-haired woman scans you both. Her gaze felt exposing, subtly judging. You smile, and awkwardly glance at Sam as he clears his throat.

“Uh, yeah. Agent Paige, this is Agent Hall. Must’ve been a mixup with the case file.”

“Ah. Emily Prentiss. Nice to meet you. We’re from the behavioral analysis unit,” she gestures to the other two, smiling, “we’re preparing a profile now. Since you guys are already here, it might help to have more people to bounce off of. Unless you have to get back.”

Prentiss shrugs and turns away to start giving her own guided tour of the crime scene, abandoning Sam. You tune out Emily’s analysis in favor of watching the coroners bag the body and lift it onto a gurney; carefully rolling it around the sharp corners of the desk and out the door of the apartment. Kate… something-or-other was the victim’s name, a local college student. You turn towards approaching footsteps, the steady soft thump of expensive Italian leather. Coming face to face with the older agent, he gives you the same scanning expression that Prentiss had upon introduction.

“Who’re you?”

You blink at his bluntness, trying to remember the name Sam had used for you. 

“Agent… Hall. Nice to meet you. Uh, mixup. With the case file. And that’s Agent Paige,” you gesture toward Sam, who waves back stiffly with his unoccupied hand.

“Ah. Agent Rossi, BAU. You too,” he says, seeming to contemplate sticking his hand out to shake before drawing it back as he’s called over by the sheriff. You look back toward Sam, who’s still waiting for Dean to pick up. You follow his gaze as it trails idly over the room, from one yellow evidence marker to the next in procession. Finally Sam snaps out of his momentary daze as Dean picks up; lowering his voice and turning away from the concentration of cops.

You realize how strange you must look, standing separated from both your so-called partner and the rest of the group. You wander over to the cluster, volunteering yourself to the conversation. It sounded like the three BAU agents were discussing the beginnings of a profile, the same details that Prentiss has told you earlier. After the short introduction to the suspect, the group breaks apart. You move to return to Sam, but Rossi stops you.

“If you two aren’t busy, we wouldn’t mind help in tracking this guy down.”

“I’m not sure that we can help, honestly…” you say, trying to look sympathetic. You and the Winchesters already had enough on your plates dealing with this werewolf; having to keep up the FBI act while talking about a mystery killer would be far too much. Plus, these guys were profilers. They could probably tell that you had a hot dog for lunch from the tiny speck of mustard on your otherwise clean shirt, or something like that. Either way, it was too risky. You’d have to carry out the werewolf takedown under the BAU’s radar.

(to be continued…?)

written by me, @seraph-starman. do not steal.

[painom]

Hello! Can I just say that I really appreciate you doing this? I've always been a big fan of your analyses and your ability to get to the root of the characters. Thank you for continuing to let us read your wonderful thoughts and stories.

On your old blog, you discussed your headcannons for Lyney, one being his tendency to forget things like where he put his wallet because him and his mind are very busy. Unfortunately, I didn't save the post (my biggest regret ahhhhh!) and I would love to read your analysis once more. If it's okay with you, could you go over your headcannons for Lyney again? The old, the new, whatever's on your mind and whatever you're willing to share. Thank you so much!

Thank you for the kind ask, anon! Here you go!

New Lyney Headcanons

Self-focused - Though he never seems like it, those that know Lyney well know that he’s often running low on sleep. And really, he has no one to blame but himself. During the day he’s often distracted with magic shows, helping people, little tasks around the hotel, running missions for Father, and much more. And at night? He can often be found alone in his room planning new tricks, arranging missions for his siblings, studying to become the next “king” of the House, and things of the sort. If Lynette and Freminet didn’t keep an eye on him, no doubt he would stay up the whole night if given the chance! Those two welcome all the help they can get. 

Relationship-focused - When it comes to his relationship with you, Lyney never lies. You know he would never do that to you. And sometimes, the knowledge almost lulls you into a false sense of security. Yet you know better. You’re smarter than that. Where Lyney doesn’t lie, he omits. Half-truths so easily fall from his mouth as drops of rain from the sky. Your comments of concern are often brushed off and your questions redirected. As much as you try, you know the truth. He doesn’t want you to know. He doesn’t want you to shoulder his burdens with him. 

old lyney headcanons below!

Would Lyney be honest with you?

With his outgoing and fun personality, it oftentimes is easy to get caught within his flow. Lyney is the charming sort, after all, that one may very well forget that he is subject to the same struggles as the rest. Get to know him well enough, though, and you will quickly realize that this is not a fact he wishes others to know. More than a desire, he needs to be seen as someone in control, as someone without weakness. That’s his role as the big brother. And if that means lying, avoiding, and omitting the truth to accomplish it, then an accomplished performer like himself will do what he must. 

Does Lyney prefer to pursue or be pursued?

With a penchant for flair and dramatics, it’s clear to see Lyney prefers to pursue the people he’s interested in. Really, it’s one of the things he goes all out. With a trick up his sleeve, he won’t hesitate to dazzle you with flowers pulled from nowhere and fireworks from his tophat. He wants you to be enchanted. He wants you to be impressed! You are, aren’t you? You like it, don’t you? So focused on charming you that he often loses sight of much else. Fun fact, should you attempt to turn the tables, however, you can expect his mask of self-confidence to fall to reveal a rather flustered expression beneath. 

Headcanons

Self-focused - If there’s one thing that’s true about Lyney, it is that he is a very busy person. As a person with multiple masks and roles, his thoughts are often preoccupied with House missions, performances, new tricks, and things of the like. So, much to the dismay of others, it’s easy for things to become buried under the multitude of other tasks he needs to take care of. How often the simple things become forgotten—where he last left his wallet, tea time with his siblings, the sale on storybooks at the bookstore. During those times, he really can’t help but appreciate his siblings and their ability to keep him on track. Really, he doesn’t know what he’d do without them!

Relationship-focused - It doesn’t hit you at first, but it doesn’t take you very long to notice how hard Lyney tries for your relationship. Normally this would be a good thing, but it is different with Lyney. Every day he tries to charm you. Every day he attempts to enchant you. You tell him he doesn’t need to try so hard, but that only seems to light a fire beneath him to do even more. You see it in his eyes. He needs to know you are still in awe of him, that you like him as much as he does you. And then it sinks in, doesn’t it? He doesn’t trust you. He doesn’t trust your feelings for him. He’ll never show his true face to you.

old tags for this post: #okay let’s talk lyney for a bit i think the biggest thing to know about lyney is that at his core he is an insecure person insecure and anxious #imo he’s extremely attached to his title of ‘big brother’ that he needs to fulfill the duties if such he needs to protect his siblings and be a person others can rely on #this belief is so strong that he refuses to rely on arlecchino for help and snaps at freminet for trying to get him to open up #he really cares about the way he’s perceived #remember when the traveler found out he’s part of the fatui and he spends his time bending over backwards to try to get them to trust him ‘like me! like me! please. i’m trustworthy i’ll never lie to you please!!’ #honestly imo that’s just one if his faults like lyney is unstable #idk what possessed arlecchino to make him her successor like he’d crack under pressure #lynette is a way better option #but anyway bc of these things he would not trust his partner in a relationship #he wouldn’t rely on them he’d never feel secure which would prompt him to keep trying too hard to ensure he’s still the person he thinks you fell in love with #the most important thing to remember with lyney is that he is a performer and the face he shows to the world is essentially a mask

What’s Lyney’s breaking point in a relationship?

It’s hard to imagine, really. With how much Lyney may seem in love, the idea there’s a point a relationship would be too much for him is hard to believe. But when you really think about it, his breaking point is simple. As strong as his feelings may be for you, his devotion to his family and its cause outweighs everything else. Should your relationship with him ever reach a time where it encroaches upon that which is the most precious to him, then there’s nothing more he can do than let you go.

old tags for this post: #i think the key thing to take in here is that lyney cannot function without his family he is extremely reliant upon them to the extent that he will become unstable without them #just look at the archon quest when wriothesley captured his siblings any and all logic completely went out the window #lyney is an anxious insecure mess and the only thing that holds him together is playing the role he has to as big brother #if your relationship with him ever reaches the point that you transcend into being counted as his family.... he will have no breaking point #the breaking point will be his mind or body. whichever breaks first

[propertyofemilyprentiss]

Wounded hearts

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

Category: Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Bottled up feelings resurface once you're met with a life and death situation.

TWs: guns, injury, blood, needles

A/N: This is a repost from here since last night it wouldn't show in the tags. You can join my celebration here!

Word Count: 1.8K

The plan was simple, same as always: go inside, apprehend the unsub, come out alive and unharmed. But of course, was it ever that easy?

—

You were fairly new to the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, having joined a few months prior to this moment. Your plans back then sounded as easy as the one from now did - get this new job, get along with your co-workers and start building your career. It’s all you’ve been focused on your whole life, the academic pressure always lying heavily on your back during every waking moment of your existence.

Aim to be the best. Don’t get lost between other faces in a crowd - you could hear the echo of your mother’s words even now, after years of having moved out.

With only one option ahead, you managed to graduate magna-cum-laude and strive through the FBI academy, culminating with achieving your dream job at 25 years old. From that moment on, it was only a matter of time until you discovered that you not only got that, but also your dream family. Everyone welcomed you with open arms and supporting words, treating you like you’ve been there for years.

Everything was going well and everything was under control. 

Or so you thought.

Because your calculated and thoroughly thought life was turned upside down by one single person in a matter of minutes. That magnificent raven hair, those flawless features perfectly created on her face - the deep, chocolate brown eyes that almost took your breath away for how expressive they were, that gorgeous nose that made her side profile even more beautiful, those heavenly lips from which you couldn't take your eyes away.

Emily Prentiss.

This has never happened to you, you weren’t used to feeling like this, so out of control. But despite how hard you tried not to think about her, you couldn’t get rid of the flutters in your heart, of the slight shade of pink that took over your cheeks every time your bodies made contact. It could be an accidental touch of hands through a passing object, it could be an encouraging pat on your shoulder or a comforting hug after a tough case - you always end up a mushy mess of feelings.

It was so embarrassingly inappropriate, you knew that. You tried to pass it down as a simple admiration, burying the truth deep down. She could not find out about this.

Therefore, as time went on, you almost always managed to keep your feelings at bay, ignoring that increasingly annoying flutter in your chest every time she would talk or smile at you, revealing in the process those adorable dimples that you found yourself gushing over in secret. They made you want to make her smile all the time.

No. Get a grip on yourself goddamnit.

With a long sigh, you just kept going, Emily Prentiss remaining a sacred secret in the depths of your soul. You didn’t even dare to think about the possibility of having a chance, a scenario where all your love could be expressed and reciprocated. This wasn’t a fairytale, but the torturous reality in which you weren’t the only woman in the world - if she even liked women - you weren’t nearly as stunning or as talented as she was. 

You felt so out of her league that, consequently, you never gave much thought into her own actions. Didn’t notice how she was smiling more around you, how she was making excuses to work alongside you on cases, or how the number of girls’ night gatherings subtly increased after a month of your joining.

So once more, you let your life go on, your feelings bubbled up inside you, every day becoming a fight to keep them in there. Until one particular case.

—

You really thought you had the upper hand, going carefully through the house until you were a few feet away behind the unsub. He had a gun pointed at Emily, but based on the profile, you were almost sure that he wasn’t going to shoot at her. Still, it was just as terrifying as always, seeing her in this situation, with the possibility of her life being cut short.

Acting on instinct, you made another step ahead, trying to get a better angle. Except your luck must have run out, the wooden floor creaking exactly during that moment, causing the unsub to turn around full-on panic and shoot towards you.

”No!”, you heard Emily exclaim - and then another gunshot, watching as the man’s body fell on the ground.

The adrenaline rush immediately kicked in, assuming that he either missed or hit the bulletproof vest. A million thoughts were roaming through your mind, your heart pounding in your chest. This was the closest you’ve ever come to death - if only he raised his arm more, you wouldn’t be breathing right now.

Everything else went by in a blur, the rest of the team coming in fairly quickly to cuff the unsub and get him medical attention, leaving Emily to make sure that you were all right. 

In your shaken state, you watched Emily approaching you, for the first time realizing that your biggest regret could have been not telling her how you really feel. And regardless of how many ways this could end, this time your feelings mixed with the adrenaline made it impossible for you to think rationally. You poured your heart out without leaving room for doubt.

”Emily-“

“y/n! Are you okay?”, she hurried towards you, looking all over, her hands gently making contact with your shoulders, her eyes full of concern. 

You nodded, already feeling the words on the tip of your tongue. 

“Emily-“, you stopped when you noticed her widened gaze, your heart stuttering in your chest.

”Oh my God, is that blood?”, her voice was slightly wobbly, betraying the composed look she tried to make.

Internally, she was panicking, on the verge of going insane at the sight of blood pouring out of your right leg. Her ears were ringing, she could feel the pulse in her throat and her heart felt like it was being squeezed from the inside. She had to act fast, get you an ambulance.

Your eyes trailed off to where Emily was looking, only now noticing the blood and acknowledging the pain in your leg. Absolutely horrible timing.

”Yes, but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-“, you went on, your mind fully set on one single idea.

”You are literally bleeding, y/n! Of course it matters!”, she exclaimed, not wasting any more time. Whatever you wanted to be discussed, it could definitely wait until you are not bleeding anymore. “This is Agent Prentiss on the radio, I need an ambulance now. I have an injured agent with me!”.

You groaned as she interrupted you again, frustration building up through the physical pain of your wounded leg. Why won’t she just listen?

She looked at you for a few seconds and you knew then that she was reading you like an open book, every huff and gesture only making her brows knit into worry. Without a word, she helped you sit down onto the floor, using her jacket to apply pressure on the injury until help arrived.

”You’re going to be okay”, she sounded more convincing this time as her eyes searched yours, being met with your irritated look, “Why are you acting like this?”.

The question caught you off-guard, all the anger fading away in an instant, being replaced by guilt. She was only helping you, she doesn’t deserve this.

”You want to know the truth?”, you asked, for a moment losing the confidence you previously had, being left open and vulnerable.

”Yes!’

”Fine! I like you, okay? I like you a lot. More than I’ve ever liked anyone for as long as I’ve known myself. And it scares me because I’ve never felt this way before, I was never the relationship type and I don’t even know if you like me back or if you’re even into women or if I’m just embarrassing myself”, you watched her shocked gaze, but it didn’t stop you from spilling out every deep-seated emotion, “I don’t want to screw up what we have, but I can’t control my feelings anymore…and whatever happens, I hope that it doesn’t ruin what we had before-“.

”y/n”, she breathed out, her voice choking with the intensity of your confession.

”No, please, let me finish”, you said with a small whimper, the pain in your leg intensifying as much as Emily’s panic.

Just then, paramedics stormed into the house, assessing your condition and helping you onto the gurney. Emily followed along, this time her and finding yours and keeping her hold tight, never letting go. She hopped into the ambulance, her anxiety through the roof as she watched the paramedics work on you, inserting an IV into your free arm and making a tourniquet above your wound.

She rubbed her thumb over your knuckles, her heart aching at your pained expression, wishing she could make it all go away. Your confession was fresh in her mind, but all that mattered now was seeing you recovering. The rest could be talked about later.

“Em’ly”, you tried to get her attention, your stubbornness still winning even in this situation, “truth’s that I love you. Is’kay if you don’t feel the same…I need you to know it”.

She watched you through her teary eyes, her breath hitching in her throat as you said those three words with so much conviction despite your weakened state. It was everything she was hoping to hear from you, but not like this, in an ambulance on your way to the hospital. 

But did it matter anymore, now that the truth was out in the open? Her heart clenched in her chest as she noticed your hopeful glance, at the same time looking like you were expecting her rejection.

”I do…I do feel the same way”, she finally replied, her hold onto your hand tightening slightly.

You thought you didn’t hear it right the first time. “You do?”

”Yes”, this time she smiled at you, leaning over until her lips met your forehead, lingering there comfortably for a few more seconds than necessary, “but we’ll talk more once you’re all healed up, okay? Save your strength for now”.

“M’kay…”, you couldn’t help but smile too, your eyes locked on her, feeling like the happiest person alive.

Emily Prentiss liked you. 

You felt on cloud nine, despite the situation you were in. Right now, nothing else could erase the stupid grin on your face. You were going to be okay, get out of the hospital, and go with Emily on a date.

Everything was perfect.

[nonbinarypirat]

What do you think about all this mess in chapter 365? The existence of hierarchy in the society of demons was not something new, but for me it was somewhere in the background, that is, we know that demons have a ranks system but there were social elevators in it. I am asking you because I am a fan of your analysis of the mairuma universe and I am sincerely interested in hearing your opinion.

Good question!! I actually LOVE the direction the story took for the Scala test because it felt like it was going a little too well ya know? I was excited when they turned to farming because as soon as we learned about the carrots I was like, oh they should start a farm that’s the next idea. But I was like, hmm it feels too easy now doesn’t it. And then BAM fascist. But anyway, this is a great question to talk about since I previously made a post about how one of the overarching theme in the story is fascism and fighting against it through education.

The reason why I love this direction for the story is that up until now, all of the subtle hints towards more seediness and corruption has been in the background. It makes sense narratively speaking that we wouldn’t get hit with it too strongly because we like the main character are slowly learning about the world. Iruma is growing up in a relatively safe environment with him mostly being at his house, school, or a safe area like the shopping district (with some obvious exceptions to this). Iruma, having grown up in the human world, has no reason to assume or believe that there is serious systematic problems going on. Instead, he is slowly becoming exposed to this as he gets older and out into more situations where he can no longer not see it.

The signs have all been there from the start with the ranking system being the first exposure. Especially with the introduction of Kirio. The simple fact that you can get better meals if you are a higher rank in a school lunch speaks volumes to how low ranked demons are treated. Especially since we later see this stays true outside of school with Ameri and Iruma going to a segregated high rank only restaurant. And we see instances of bullying/intolerance when it comes to how students treat each other. The notable moments I remember is how the Azz fan girls treated Iruma at first when they thought he was a low rank compared to when they learned he had a higher one than they originally thought. Or the student’s comments to Kirio since he was a low rank. Or how the girls at the party treated the low rank demon girl.

We also have had the vile police system introduced to us during the Walter Park incident and when we first learned about Narnia. Prisons and the whole system is already fucked up and corrupt in the human world but it’s definitely worse in the demon world. The fact that the prisoners have to constantly give their mana up to the park not to mention the fact that it’s located underneath the park to begin with always felt gross to me. And when we first learn about Narnia, the cards start to come together. Narnia is said to treat any injustice, anything at all, on the same level. And he is shown to be cruel and ruthless in the face of what he considers crime. So if you committed tax fraud, you would probably be considered on the same level of a murderer and treated just the same. How are those even on the same level? But Narnia doesn’t care, he sees it as an opportunity to “maintain order” within the netherworld and uses that as justification for his actions. In the end, he doesn’t care about the demons he’s supposed to protect, rather he cares more about maintaining the strict hierarchy.

Add to that the fascist organization we have in the story that wants to control the netherworld to reshape it into their image. The introduction of Baal and learning about the organization kind of kicked started where the story will lead into. This has always been a story of fighting off bigotry and oppression, but it’s very subtly disguised behind what seems like a typical villain takeover plot. Because it’s subtle, we as the audience only start noticing when the themes become prevalent with the evidence stacking up higher and higher. And with the introduction of Azami, we can no longer not see what the story is trying to convey to the audience.

It’s crafted in a way to keep you unaware until we see Narnia being a full on fascist with his fascist cop buddy Azami. And the reason why it’s so effective is because the themes have always been there, just in the background. If we had all of a sudden had Azami or Narnia doing his little “maintaining order” speech without the small build up, it wouldn’t have fully hit as hard. But now that we have the Many-Ears race, a race literally known for being suppressed and subservient to higher ranks, we now see the cards fall into place. Some people wondered if the Many-Ears have done this to themselves, suppressing themselves when there was no need. But now it’s become clear that no matter how the Many-Ears came to live in this way, it’s clear that it’s not an issue of them doing this to themselves. Not fully at least. They are being used by those in power to keep them submissive to those they benefit the most. And the Many-Ears, believing they have no way of changing the system of powers, internalized and conformed to this idea as well. Being trapped in this mindset benefits the majority rule and keeps the “balance” in order. However, now they can see a better way for themselves. Now, they truly believe they have value and worth outside of being a worker for a strong ranked demon. Thus toppling over the hierarchy established.

Fascism feeds on a strict hierarchy where everyone knows their place. One cannot have fascism without it being built off the backs of those oppressed. And Narnia, being a fascist prick, has one dangerous weapon: power. He is a high rank, works within the demon border patrol, and now has become a 13 crown, one of the most powerful positions in all of the netherworld. He is almost untouchable at this current moment unless you are a fellow 13 crown (and we still don’t know how possible infighting works). The Many-Ears have no way of stopping someone like this and are basically forced to either fall into line or become seriously hurt. And even if they do fall into line, there’s no saying Azami won’t hurt them anyway. That’s the thing with cops, they can decide what goes with very little consequences (can you tell my feelings on cops?). Narnia knows, he uses this as a tool for oppression. If he has leverage, he will use it without a second thought to further his mission of control.

But here’s where education falls into the equation. The Many-Ears are no longer among the uneducated. Before, the oppressive power used their lack of knowledge to support the hierarchy. How will it work out for them if they no longer as unaware as they previously were? Once knowledge is spread, it’s hard to put a lid on it. You can’t go into their brains and erase what they know to be true. And now they are no longer fighting alone. This isn’t an us verse them battle. Fascism wants you to believe you are alone. It wants you to believe you are powerless. It wants you to believe that you are the only one that wants change. Why? Because there’s power in people, in community. No matter what happens in the next few chapters, they have people that care and want to see change too. And luckily for the Many-Ears, they have powerful allies too. One person alone can make change but a community of people can make an even greater change. And that is the reason why I love this story so much 🫶🏽

Sorry for how long this post was, I just saw this question and I’ve been dying to talk about this since the chapter dropped because I LOVE the themes of this story so much. And I love the anti cop mentality of both the main line story and the mafia story 🤭

[captainleviswifee]

If you dare...

Tags/TW/context (idk💀): Alcohol, sfw, y/n fem reader, reader is a squad leader, Attack on Titan, Levi Ackerman, lighthearted, established close friendship and partnership between you and Levi, you and Levi are in denial of your feelings for each other and Hange knows it, Hange is just lowkey tired of this back and forth.

Edit: you can use extensions, or apps to replace y/n with the name of your choice.

The night is blooming, the moon's graceful glow upon you and your comrades in the clearing of the Old Headquarters of the Survey Corps. The tall trees, both vivacious trees and pine trees standing tall around your merry group, providing shelter from the fog of the evening. Not too far from the headquarters, but also not too near in the vicinity to avoid disrupting the working higher-ups, or the resting scouts in their in the assigned shared quarters of their barracks. Regardless, even without the protection of the trees, the fog won't be stopping this small gathering of you and your comrades. An survey mission had just ended. It's a small mission led by you, in order to train you. Nothing too exciting just this small group of scouts surveying ahead, and placing supplies ahead of the expedition route that's due in next week. Although the mission is a success with the least amount of deaths so far, it wasn't without sacrifices. You sit relaxed with a drink of your own on one of the chairs. Beside you are your comrades, your subordinates, the Levi Squad in some of the chairs and benches, and then Hange accompanied by Moblit who sat beside her. All forming a complete circle with a table of food in the middle of the circle then a burning bonfire right beside it. Keeping this small gathering of people warm from the evening fog. In some of these seats are soldiers, scouts who fought bravely. At the cost of a missing leg, or an arm, or maybe even missing screws after facing the dark reality that the titans bring outside the Walls this very recent expedition. Yet despite, what they have experienced, they sit there merry with a drink on their uninjured free hands. Largely due to the part that Hange, Oruo, Gunther, and Eld are leading the conversation of this humble party.

A farewell party to be exact. The last night of these maimed soldiers in the military before they return to their status as simple civilians. In a way, Commander Erwin allowed this to happen just so the soldiers would go home with at least smiles on their faces. Smile of relief from surviving, or the smile from this small gathering and the events would occur later are sure bound to kick up a merry chat between their waiting families instead of the horrors outside walls as their main topic.

"Ah, it's your turn!" The bottle spins and points at you. "What?" And you break out from your deepest of thoughts, maybe because of the battle analysis reports, survey reports, and whole another bunch of papers you'll submit tomorrow, or maybe because of the watchful gaze a certain pair of steel blue gray eyes.

"Everyone's been pulling up 'Truths' this whole time, would you care for a dare instead?" Hange smiles cheeky at you, as she asks you at gunpoint in front of your comrades. "A dare?" Your question sounding more like a refusal. "C'mon please? It's nothing hard I swear. It'll be just like how easy you killed four titans this recent mission, right boys?" And your comrades and subordinates alike jeered at the thought. You were quite in a good form, the past mission and now that you're in this spot like this. With their mood like that, you don't want these soldier's last night to be with you being a killjoy of the night. You gave Hange a look before responding, "Alright what's the dare?" "Sweet! Well it's nothing hard, I just want you to kiss someone." Hange playfully answers giving a certain midget sipping tea at the edge of the circle, a knowing look. Fully aware of Levi's gazes at you. Or how he would sparingly brew the tealeaves you gifted him. Or how he would scold you as he checks up on you at the hospital after each mission, Hange gave a knowing look at Levi barely noticed by their comrades. The latter only returned a glare, barely noticeable in between sips of his tea. "The what? Hange, you can't be serious." You respond. You may be a little tipsy, but you still have your wits about you. "It'll be fine, unless..." Hange trails off, "Unless it means something to you of course. Were you saving it for someone?" She quips, her tone now growing teasingly playful. It didn't help that the rest of the Levi Squad, your subordinates, basically everyone's got their eyes and ears on you now. Giving in to either get peer pressured to saying something akin to confession—

'It wont be a confession,' You stubbornly think.

Well it's either you get peer pressured into saying something you may or may not regret, you decide to just go with the dare. At least in a dare there's a chance that the very act will be considered, 'not of any significant meaning to you.'

"Alright, I'll complete the dare. You guys owe me a drink for this one." You say with a smile pointing to the rest of the crowd, primarily to Hange. You scan your surroundings to look for a specific person who you know wouldn't take this dare personally or seriously. He may be a few centimeters smaller than you, but it did not take you long enough to find him sitting at the edge of the circle. Drinking tea instead of alcohol, he looks at you his blue-gray eyes displaying deadpan expression. "Is it okay if I pick you?" You ask for consent walking up to him with his side facing you. Casual form drinking tea amidst the tensing sensual atmosphere fueled by the expectant gazes of your comrades. His jaw clenches for a split second before nodding nonchalantly. His steel blue gaze, maintaining his composure. Bringing his cup a little lower from his lips, he remained sitting as he was. His side still facing you.

"Alright," You give a smile before placing one of your knee to his seat for support, you other hand crawling up behind him, to gain purchase of the seat he is leaning on to. And your other free hand cupping his chin, lightly with your fingers as you lean your face closer to his steel blue gaze.

In response, his body stiffens evidently caught off guard by this sudden act of intimacy. He fought back the shivers that run along his spine and his jaw subtly clenches as maintained his indifferent expression.

You lean in closer, and closer. Intensifying the already sensual tension caused by her own intimate actions.

Only to give him a light kiss on his cheek.

'They only said a kiss after all, they didn't say where.' You cleverly think, avoiding making a spectacle of yourself and drag Levi in this.

Disappointed murmurs hint the chorus of their comrades and Hange nodding with a light chuckle in amusement, "Ha! Well played, y/n." Spinning the bottle once more, "Next dare!"

When you pulled away and returned to your seat downing a glass in one big gulp, Levi didn't look at you or anyone at that moment. He just sat there with the memory of your lips, warm on his skin.

He sat there drinking his tea in silence. He wasn't drinking any alcohol at all.

And yet,

Why are his ears red?

[quirkwizard]

Final Note: A Look at the True Ending of My Hero Academia

Wow, Hori. Way to ruin my heartfelt review of the final few chapters of your series. It was very inconsiderate of you to put this out.

Okay, but seriously, I was not expecting this to happen. When I had heard that Volume 42 was going to have a lot of new pages added, I thought there were just going to be more extras. Stuff like little notes and character profiles. Imagine my shock when we get a whole additional chapter for the proper finale of the series.

I am only writing about one chapter here. In spite of the fact this is ending the series, there's only so much I can cover here. So this is going to be a lot shorter than some of my other mega posts. More notes and a few longer tangents then the bigger analysis I had written about on the final arc and the epilogue.

And yes, I am using the fan translations here. Normally, I'd wait for some official translation to come out, but going by what people have said, these translations are pretty close to what's going on in the manga. Plus, the last volume isn't likely to come out until October and there is no way I am waiting that long to talk about this.

Duds and Duds: The Final Stitch-Part 2

Let's get something simple out of the way first: new looks.

-Nejire got one of the more improved looks. The spiral gauntlets and leggings are simple additions, but really add a lot to her look.

-I guess Present Mic's hair works like a tree. It grows as he ages and if you cut it, you can tell how old he's gotten by the rings.

-Best Jeanist, how did you get a hair cut that somehow even made you look like even more of a complete fop? And why the laces? Why do the jeans have laces in them?

-I'm mixed on Mirio's new look. The ones on his legs are kind of silly, but very fitting for him. I also miss the visor he had on as well. However, I cannot accept the pompadour as a part of his appearance. I'm sorry, but it just looks silly.

-Kamui Wood's new look is simple, but amazing. The narrower eyes look more menacing, the branches around his mask forming a makeshift crown, the wreath of leaves around his head to give him this regal look. It's great, no notes.

-The Ketsubutsu Schools kids got some minor touch-ups to help them stick out more, such as Shikkui's more rap artist-inspired look and Tatami's arm sleeves. It just makes them look less generic. Yo Shindo caught me off guard though. Maybe it's the cow-lick or hair dye, but he looks like an entirely new character. Like I swear his face changed shape too.

-I think Tamaki just won me over. No joke, he actually may have gotten one of my favorite looks. The all-black look with the hood gives this monstrous appearance. The teeth on the hood is not only amazing appearance, but a really cool reference to how his power works around eating. The little bendy straw on his costume is amazing as well. It's both a cute detail and a practical part of the costume.

-Juzo, Setsuna, and Kendo didn't have much going. Maybe a few minor design choice changes that don't hurt anything. Same with Tetsutetsu, but I really like his sharper hair and larger eye accents. Just something about them made him pop out more. I like Manga's drawing tablet as his chestpiece. It's a really cute design for his character.

-Seiji looks even cooler now with his sharper features. Inasa is more of a sidegrade. The Slimy Shadey hair is really odd, but I do like the goggles to help fit in with his steampunk look. Camie I'm the most confused about. Why does she have feathers in her cap? Is that a reference I'm not getting? Maybe to a superhero or mythological figure?

-Monoma has the worst design out of anyone here. I don't even know where to begin with him. The clock earrings are dumb and just seem like they'd get in the way. His gloves are actively keeping him from using his Quirk. And do I even need to say anything about this hair cut? I can't believe Hori turned Monoma into an e-boy.

-Fat Gum is a bit of a downgrade for me. The all-black look doesn't suit his more welcoming brand and personality. Plus, the "M" and "G" in the middle of the "F" already present on his chest just look really out of place. I just think it worked better with the "F" and "G" on his old costume. They just fit a lot more seamlessly into his overall look and helped break up all the yellow with some white.

Meet Up/Catch Up

Now to talk about certain changes to Class 1-A. Yes, I'm dedicating another list segment to this. I have a lot of thoughts on it

-Wow, I really don't like Sero's peach fuz mustache. It looked bad in the helmet, and it's even worse now. It just looks so wrong on him.

-I despise Iida's half buzz, though I will admit that's more than everything ruining that hair cut over the past seven years.

-Nighthide is such a terrible hero's name. I'm not sure if that's just bad translation, a lack of creativity, so simply an in character choice for Shinso to be bad at naming stuff. Just like his mentor.

-Kirishima threatening to scratch the hood of Bakugou's car is one of my favorite jokes in the series. I know it's only part of the fan translation, but I'm going to be disappointed if it isn't in the official one.

-I like how Hori basically had Denki and Jiro look into the camera and confirm they are not dating. Right after confirming two characters getting together that nobody cared about but him. 

-I have once again been vindicated by canon. Iida is in fact faster than Bakugou. The manga out-and-out said it. All the power scalers out there can turn on your badge and calculators.

-Hey, look at that, a billboard with Izuku's face on it. It's almost as if he hasn't forgotten about it over the last couple of years. Maybe Hori wanted to make it extra obvious for some of the fans.

-I appreciate how not everyone is a pro hero by the end and some of them are still sidekicks. Any other author would have had it, so all the students are pros with their own agencies, but it's realistic not every one of them would have the want or ability to become a proper pro. I'm honestly surprised which ones are and aren't though.

-I'm kind of amazed that my guess of the rankings of the heroes ended up being so spot on. Pretty much all of them ended up in the brackets. I would have guessed where they were. Even some of the reasoning was spot on, like Bakugou's terrible people skills still getting in his own way a lot of the time. The dark horse of all this was certainly Shoji. I assumed that he would have fallen in the rankings due to spending so much time trying to deal with the heteromorph situation, but I guess that ended up helping him in the long run.

Missing Invites

So one complaint I've heard about this ending is how focused it is on Class 1-A and especially Uraraka and Izuku. Which I can kind of get. It's just that, as the final chapter in this entire story, it carries a lot more finality to it. So, if some character isn't given any attention, chances are they are never going to get it. I can understand the desire to see other characters. Like I wanted to at least get a look at how All Might and Endeavor were doing. Even if it's only one panel, it would have been nice how things were for them eight years on.

However, I do think that misses the point of this chapter. Because a lot of this chapter is around to act as an epilogue to the main cast of the series and to show us the future that they were and are still fighting for. As well as to tie up Izuku and Uraraka's arcs and to affirm what the story is about and what messages are. Anything that isn't focused on that feels more like a nice bonus rather than something integral we needed to see, such as getting to see the Big Three as heroes. A lot of the characters and their arcs were wrapped up already. As nice as it would be to see where they ended up, you don't really need to.

Ships Docked

Look, I'm glad there weren't a lot of ships got together within the final act. If we're being honest, a lot of the ships that people love didn't have a strong foundation in canon. So I didn't really want or expect an "And then everyone paired off and had a kid" ending that people were wishing for or dreading would come to pass. Considering that there hasn't been much in the way of personal relationships for more than 1-A as a whole, instead of pushing 1-A more as a larger unit of people that help and support one another rather than focusing on individual pairs, it would have been very jarring.

That being said, it's hilarious how, in a fanbase as famous for shipping as this one, there are only three canon pairings at the end of the series. Maybe four depending on how you interpret Gentle and La Brava's ending. And two of them were for ships nobody cared about. There was Shindo and Tamati, a pair that you'd only know was a couple from the databooks. Then there was Kuroiro and Komori, a connection that only had the faintest of set up in the databooks, a brief exchange during the Joint Training Arc, before being pushed front and center in the very last chapter. And of course, there was... we'll get to that, trust me.

Ghosts of Shipping Past

So you're telling me that Izuku got pushed to Uraraka by Bakugou and Toga pushed Uraraka to Izuku? Bakugou and Toga, who are the most popular pairs for Izuku and Uraraka respectively, are literally pushing Izuku and Uraraka together. And that's what ends up making them confess to each other. If I didn't know any better, I would say this is a Supernatural finale level of spite on Hori's part. That he got so tired of people harassing him and his staff about shipping and had this part sketched out to specifically make people upset about it. 

And if Uraraka is seeing Himiko and Izuku is seeing Tomura, does that mean that they are both being haunted by them? Fanfic writers, this is a golden opportunity here to make a comedy fic. A newly minted hero couple try to live their lives while being haunted by the ghost of their archenemies. What, is Himiko going to be cheering Uraraka on about getting together with Izuku and that she should take him right now? Meanwhile, Tomura's haunting Izuku about how he should grind out another level in League of Legends before doing anything else?

Odds are LeMillion to One

I'm still pretty mixed about Mirio becoming the Number One hero. I guess it feels like such a big deal to get the top spot only to have it fall to Mirio. And I'm not saying that to slam Mirio. I do like Mirio. Mirio is one of the most heroic figures to come out of UA, if not the whole series. It's just odd to me because Mirio feels like such an afterthought. Outside the Yakuza Arc, he hasn't had much going on with him, let alone an arc where it feels like a proper conclusion. I suppose it's to show the change in things. How the greatest hero in Japan isn't this invincible pillar, but this jokey guy that can hang out with kids and make a fool of himself.

I guess that has less to do with where Mirio ended up and more about how little presence he had in the story. Looking back, I do think that Mirio's presence and momentum were put to a grinding halt because he lost his Quirk. That Horikoshi just wasn't sure what to do with him once the Yakuza arc was done. Because when I try to map out Mirio's character and his arc, I struggle to understand where it was going and how it ended up here. He's introduced as the guy who seems like the best "One For All" candidate on paper. Then it's shifted to being more about carrying on Sir Nighteye's successor. I know I'm getting way off-topic here. It's just been something that's been on my mind ever since I read the chapter.

Temperate

Shoto is great in this chapter. I've always stood by the idea that part of Shoto's arc in the series is about him trying to define himself as a person. Away from all his family and the baggage that came with it. From trying to accept his power as his own to riding himself over the demons of his father to finally being able to be his own person. Saying that he just wants to do something because he wants to do it. It's also a good contrast to how Enji was. Instead of obsessing over the same thing that destroyed his family, once Shoto got as high as he felt he could go, he instead turned to something new that he wanted to try. For no other reason than he simply liked soba and thought it would taste better with something he made. 

I also really like how they tie this into the idea of heroes having more free time and becoming less and less needed. That now heroes have chances to take care of themselves, stop worrying about everyone else, and have lives outside their work. Again, that's something I feel like didn't ring as true with only Chapter 430 as context. We never got to see anyone besides Izuku working in that chapter. And since he was a teacher and not a pro hero, it didn't feel like what Hawks did came to pass outside of maybe a few lines. So I'm glad it got some focus on Shoto and his own arc. I think it's a excellent note to end his character on. I'm glad that it was more overtly finished as opposed to the single panel we got for it in Chapter 430.

Blast Back

So, after all that, what do I think about Bakugou's ending? I think it's an effective bittersweet ending to his character. He reminds me a lot of veterans after a war. And I'm not just saying that because he was in two wars for his life, both of which he technically died in, though that is part of that. It's more about the mindset and character of Bakugou. He's a man who defines himself by his ability to fight and win. Now the world is coming to the point where those aren't as valued, and he lashes out because of it. He tries to find that drive in other people like his sidekicks, but none of them have it anymore. He tries to reignite that rivalry with Izuku, only to find that he's moving on with his own life. 

It's like a natural expansion of his failure to move past his mindset earlier on in the series and how obsessed he was with being the best, only now it's twenty times more depressing. It's an interesting way to end his character. Bakugou got what he wanted, but realizes how little any of it really means. Which isn't to say it's a sad ending. Bakugou was able to complete his arc and come out the other side a better person. That is a more worthwhile reward than any kind of ranking. However, I do think there is some hope for Bakugou. Considering how much of the chapter is about people trying to live their lives outside of being a hero, I prefer to think that he would eventually do the same.

Weightless Burden

Out of all the characters, Uraraka needed this chapter the most and easily benefits the most from the extra focus. There's just a lot about her character that felt unfinished otherwise. Like with a lot of stuff, it does help that we get to see Uraraka in action and helping people with their Quirks. It helps clear the air about what exactly Quirk Counseling is and how it's going to affect people from now on. That what Uraraka said wasn't just hot air, and she did help people. And that, yes, what the League did and went through was important. It helped push people to make changes later to keep something like this from ever happening again.

More importantly, we get to see her dealing with her emotions. I feel like an underrated part of Ochako's arc was her being more honest about her feelings. We got a lot of her trying to understand people and the importance of reaching out with Toga. And without that part of her arc completed, it seemed like a part of her story was left unfinished. I like how it gets so much focus in this chapter, with Uraraka basically being literally haunted by her feelings, both metaphorically and literally. All in all, I like how Uraraka was handled in the final chapter, and I think this is a good end for her. If only there wasn't something that overshadowed her entire storyline in the eyes of the fans.

Within Reach

I feel so vindicated by this whole chapter. Besides all the claims people made about Izuku being disproved, it retroactively makes Chapter 430 better. I was always fine with Izuku being a teacher. I felt it was a very natural place for his character to end up in hindsight. It's something he has the skill to do, especially in a place like UA with his observational skills and hero knowledge. However, it can still feel jarring with just Chapter 430. Izuku's dream was to be the world's greatest hero. He did achieve that, but it was never mentioned that he wanted to be a teacher. Having Izuku say that was what he wanted and enjoys doing is very important. It helps add a lot of validity to this writing choice and shows how much Izuku has grown into wanting things outside of hero work.

More importantly, I feel like this works much better as a finale for him. While Izuku working with Dai about his Quirk did work as showing Izuku's change in mindset, I don't think it was as satisfying of an ending. It worked to tie up some of the thematic ends to the story and Izuku, but it did not work as well for an emotional climax. Because Dai was just some nobody we hadn't met before. Now, we get a lot more proper closure with Izuku and the rest of the cast. We got his final moments with All Might and Aizawa, but not much else. Now we finally get closure with all of his classmates, Bakugou and Uraraka included. And it gives us time to show him enjoying stuff outside of hero work instead of just being told about it.

Car Bomb

Alright, let's disarm this first bomb. The car ride.

Speaking of growth, it is not out of character for Izuku to reject Bakugou's offer. It has been over a decade since Izuku has been in middle school. He has grown a lot over the year the story takes place in. Shoot, he's probably grown a lot more since then as well. My point is, this is not the same Izuku at the start of the series. He would not freak out over signed All Might merchandise. Izuku and All Might have been friends for a decade. He would not jump at the chance to work under Bakugou as a sidekick or with him as an equal. Izuku does and should have a life outside of Bakugou. Izuku does not owe Bakugou anything for helping to make him a suit. It was a group effort with Toshinori and the rest of Class 1-A, and I really doubt Bakugou would even want Izuku to join just because Izuku "owed him one".

I bring this up after talking to Izuku and Bakugou on their own because both are important parts of why this section of the story was done this way. Izuku out and out said that he wants to be a teacher over a pro hero. Being a hero is important to him. It lets him spend more time with his friends, and he gets to help people, but it doesn't define his life any more. He's doing what he wants now. He doesn't have that self-destructive heroism as a part of him anymore. His wanting and choosing to be a teacher is part of that healthy selfishness I was talking about before. I honestly think that him working with Bakugou would undermine that part of the ending. That he'd go back into hero work full time and have it take over his life rather than focusing everything on teaching. Shoot, it even ends with Bakugou telling Izuku to think more for himself.

And I think a lot of this comes down to people overestimating Izuku and Bakugou's connection and its relevance to the overall story and underestimating their own growth. Bakugou is Izuku's rival, and they play a part in each other's story, but their rivalry is of minor note to the greater story. This isn't like Naruto and Sasuke, where the two main rivals are of vital importance to one another's storylines. It's more like Ichigo and Yuru, where the rivalries are far less prominent and only occasionally cross over. It was more that Bakugou's own arc was heavily tied to Izuku, but Bakugou's arc was only part of what was going on in his own story. Specifically, the part of Izuku training to be a hero and how they both learn from one another. However, that part of it is done because Izuku found a life for himself outside of hero work, leaving not as much for Bakugou. Which is why I think the ending seems sad for Bakugou, even though I'd describe it as more bittersweet.

Holding Hands? How Scandalous!

All of this chapter aside, let's get into the real meat of this and defuse the second bomb. There were a lot of fans that were upset about this. Let's remove the good chunk that were simply upset their ship didn't become canon and focus on some real issues people have with this.

No, this isn't a fake-out. This wasn't made by Hori's assistants, generated by AI, or whatever other piece of cope you've heard online. This did happen, it is canon, and it is romantic. And yes, them holding hands is supposed to be romantic. Not only would it be out of character for these flustered nerds to do anything more implicitly romantic, but them holding hands ties a lot more into their characters. Them grabbing each other's hands is an integral part of their connection and growth. It's to show the two are connected and understanding one another. It ties back to the idea of reaching out being about understanding someone and part of why the two do it so much together. By them clasping hands at the end, it's to show the bond the two have made and how close they are now.

No, Uraraka getting with Izuku is not something that was forced into the story, nor was it something that came out of nowhere. Uraraka's feelings for Izuku have been set up ever since she was introduced. It started out as a crush but was slowly reinforced and built up between the two's appearances, both apart and together. Having her get with Izuku ends part of her arc as well. One of the biggest points of Uraraka's story is how bad it is to repress your feelings and not be emotionally open with the people around you. This is contrasted by Toga, someone who was hurt by that same repression, yet now was totally honest with her feelings. It's why Uraraka said that she admired Toga as a person for that honesty. Shoot, it's why Ochako confesses her feelings for Izuku in that fight. Something people seem to be forgetting. Uraraka pushing down her feelings wasn't the end of that plotline, it was merely another plot point in her story that culminated in this confession.

No, this doesn't devalue or reorient Toga's story to be about the two of them. Toga has always played a major role in the romantic connection between Izuku and Uraraka at various points in the story. There's a reason why Izuku keeps getting brought up whenever Uraraka and Toga fight each other. However, that was only a part of her character. Toga's story was all about trying to be understood for who she was and trying to find happiness in her life. She got that when Uraraka was willing to bleed and die just to try and reach out to her. And Toga's story was over when she died and saved Uraraka's life, living life as she chose to till the very end. Izuku and Uraraka getting together does not ruin that. Her usage here is more about her manifesting due to Uraraka's unresolved emotions. It's why Toga only shows up when Izuku becomes more active in her life. Again, it goes back to that whole thing about Uraraka admiring Toga for being so open about her feelings.

No, the fact that Uraraka ends up with Izuku does not devalue her character in any way, shape, or form. Her getting with Izuku is part of her story, but that's it: part of her story. She can still be her own person with her own life outside of Izuku while being in a happy relationship with him. They aren't mutually exclusive. Uraraka has this whole other arc she goes through with Toga that is integral to each character and the story overall. For the past eight years, Uraraka was and still is a pro heroine who helped countless people with the expanded Quirk Counseling program. That part was well established before the relationship was resolved. Because that's just as important to her story and character as the romance with Izuku. That doesn't go away because she updated her status to "In a Relationship". It doesn't automatically reduce her to a housewife. I'm sick of people saying this, and it's a frankly disgusting way to look at her character.

Epilogue to the Epilogue

So what do I feel about this ending? It was nice, and I am glad that we got it. I am someone who defended the original ending and have only come to appreciate it more as time has gone on. That being said, it did leave me with this feeling of incompleteness. Like the overall picture was there, but there were fragments of it missing. And in those fragments, people started filling holes with their garbage ideas. I do think that Chapter 431 filled out some much-needed holes within the first finale and ends the series on a good note.

Heck, Hori was able to fix and cover a lot of the problems I had with Chapter 430. The fact that Izuku wanted to be a teacher seemingly coming out of nowhere? Settled and expanded upon that he always wanted to be a hero as well as a teacher. The lack of any real final moments between Izuku and Bakugou? That was settled pretty well with the two of them in the car. The lack of resolution regarding Izuku and Uraraka? One of the main focal points of this chapter and what we ultimately end the series on. It feels more complete, if that makes any sense. And I'm glad Hori got this opportunity. Few authors ever get the chance to make a recovery like this, and fewer still are able to pull it off.

I will say that now I'm less worried than I was before. When I ended my review of the final few chapters, I talked about how much the general perception of the series would have been tainted by the ending. I feel like most fans are a lot more agreeable with this than they were on Chapter 430. I still stand by the fact that it was ruined by leakers and the general anti-hype tainting any discussion people could have about it. And it wouldn't have stung so if all of the obnoxious memes and straight-up lies surrounding the ending weren't out there.

Will My Hero Academia live on? Oh, I'm sure it will somehow. Maybe Shonen Jump will force the hand of one of their many mangaka into making a sequel series. Maybe it will live on through merchandise sales, spin-off light novels, and however many movies they decide to make about it. I know for certain it will live on. In us. Countless characters, stories, and art pieces that we all made because of it.

I started this series right around the same age as Izuku. Some young kid who was quiet, socially awkward, and obsessed with superheroes, knowing all sorts of trivia about them. So naturally, I was drawn to series where the protagonist was literally me. Yet what kept me was the story, the worldbuilding, the characters, the art, and, of course, the power system. But the thing that resonated with me more than anything was the message: anyone can be a hero as long as you choose to be one. Now that the series is over, here I am again. At a similar age to Izuku. I wonder if I've grown as much as he has. All I know is that My Hero Academia will always have a special place in my heart.

Sure, there were ups and downs throughout the story. Yet, in a strange way, I appreciate that as well. This story helped me a lot when it came to my critical thinking with the media I interacted with. It made me think about and reconsider what I was watching and reading over and over again. It helped me overcome my gut reactions to events and how those reactions would stick with me. It helped me think more and more about the actual message and meaning of it. Not what I thought the story was saying, but what the story was trying to tell me. It made me reconsider parts I despised and helped me appreciate what I enjoyed so much about this story.

Most of all, it inspired me to create this blog and to meet all of you. It filled me with so much creative passion that I couldn't help but share it with all of you. Was it hard? At times. But there was always the feeling that what I did inspired and helped the people see the series in a new light. I've had so many people talk about how much they love my blog, how they are excited to see me post, and how much they want to use my Quirks for their stories and characters. I've even had people say to me that what I did helped them think about stuff critically, and they were inspired to make their own stories all because of what I did. That means so much to me. More than you could ever imagine.

And now it's over. I'm left to wonder what I will do with myself and this blog now that it's done. I suppose I'll have to figure that out soon enough.

[cadejos]

ON NANAMI'S POWER LEVEL, DOMAIN EXPANSIONS, DOMAIN COUNTERS, AND HOW JUJUTSU SOCIETY PLAYS A ROLE.

This analysis originally turned viral on twitter. I'm posting it here for archival.

Nanami treated sorcery like a job and Gojo treated sorcery like a lifestyle. I've thought long and hard about why Nanami does not have certain skills (DE, Simple Domain, etc) that'd easily bump him up in terms of power, as he's already very strong. The reason is two-fold:

He never set out to do more than what he absolutely had to do. ("Moderate effort where moderate effort suffices," etc)

Information about sorcery is very gatekept and compartmentalized, because Jujutsu society sucks.

For point number 1, we are to keep in mind that Nanami is a grade one sorcerer, very much the peak of what sorcery is supposed to be outside of Special Grade work. The purpose of sorcery, up until very recently, has been about killing curses, most of which are not special grade or intelligent. The disaster curses are anomalies, and battles with Domain users were very rare until they showed up. They vastly skewed the power system. Remember that not even Naobito Zenin, the head of one of the great clans, had a Domain expansion either, and it took the work of a Domain user (Megumi) and an experienced sorcerer killer (Toji) to properly counter Dagon in his domain.

If domain battles are truly so rare, I don't really blame Nanami for not going out of his way to work on developing one, especially since Domains require an element of self-assurance that Nanami, due to trauma and disposition, was never geared toward developing.

His soul was strong enough to protect against a novice Mahito subconsciously, which is a promising start, but once Mahito grew too strong he was way out of Nanami's scope (not to mention Gege deliberately tired him over the course of Shibuya) and Nanami was more inclined to take his loss gracefully than to force himself to craft an spontaneous Domain Expansion. It's not like he really had the energy to try, either.

Overall, developing a DE for the off chance that he stumbled upon a Domain user just doesn't sound like his style. And he wouldn't do it for fun, either, because jujutsu is not fun for him, and it never has been. It's just work.

Let's say he would want to at least develop a domain counter, though. That's where point number 2 steps in. The whole reason something as fundamental as a domain counter is so rare in jujutsu is purely because jujutsu society is inherently selfish and self-serving.

If I recall correctly, SD is not something you can teach due to a binding vow tied to the technique. It has to be something you learn on your own through observation and intuition, or by joining New Shadow Style. Up until UiUi's soul swapping, there wasn't a reliable work around for this conundrum. And the other domain counters? Old, not very well known, and gatekept by the clans.

Sometimes I'm inclined to believe jujutsu sorcerers learn sorcery not because of the school system but in spite of it. Unless you're already a genius, born gifted, or willing to go an extra -- ambiguously illicit -- mile (like Kusakabe), there's not much the average sorcerer can do, and not many tools for them to learn to begin with. Nanami is presented as the baseline of what modern day good sorcery looks like; what you can achieve if you're competent, and don't have the privilege of relying on very good mentors, obscure knowledge, or ancient techniques. Even then he had an expansion technique, not something every sorcerer has, and he was capable of achieving one of the pinnacles of Jujutsu, which is the black flash; precisely because of his attitude toward jujutsu and his ability to focus when things get serious.

Maybe if given enough time to heal from his psychological wounds, and given opportunities for more black flashes, as well as a strong enough incentive, he could have circumvented a lot of problems and enlightened his way toward a DE or other such jujutsu-relevelations.

But that's speculation and not really the point of his character.

Had he been a villain though? Gege probably would've made him stronger, if his Culling Games score in JJK's draft Jujutsu Sousen is anything to go by, which is amusing.

Supplementary reading:

In regards to black flashes: a post where I go over why I think Yuuji and Nanami are especially good at them, and why I think they require conditions that are in opposition to Domain expansions.

Measuring Nanami's critical hit power: where I use a statement to further analyze and evaluate the capabilities of the Ratio Technique.

[tokiro07]

Ichi the Witch ch.20 thoughts

[And the World Will Turn to Ichi]

(Topics: character analysis - Jikishirone/Ichi/Desscaras, narrative analysis - prophecy/speculation)

AwooGA!!!

God damn, that's a hell of a design Jikishirone's got! And her expressions are so fun, I'm such a sucker for that style of toothy grin, especially on girl characters

It's just such a shame that she's clearly only meant to be an occasional cameo at best if not a simple one-off at worst. Her design is just too busy to be a consistently recurring character, and being an oracle doesn't offer a lot of utility outside of being a plot device, as prophecies don't serve a story very well if they're being thrown around left and right

Not that she would do that, though. Jiki's clearly pretty fickle, only sharing an extremely important prophecy mere minutes before it came to pass so no one could do anything meaningful about it, so while she's not a Human Hater, she isn't necessarily a Human Lover either

Desscaras mentioned in ch.2 that there are Magiks that work alongside humanity, and clearly Jiki is one such Magik, but the fact that she's not going out of her way to make her prophecies as useful as possible suggests that she isn't actually interested in helping humanity. It may be that she's just looking to be entertained, or that since she knows the entire world is at stake, this is all just for self-preservation

Or she just has a nasty personality and she really is doing everything she can. She said she "received" her prophecies, suggesting that she doesn't have the power to look though the future on a whim. While she may be capable of withholding information, we don't have any proof yet that the 15-minute prophecy was available any earlier than that

Ooor it did exist earlier, buuut Jiki knew that if she shared the prophecy, Ichi wouldn't meet World Hater, and the dominos wouldn't fall the way they needed to afterward. Jiki may be playing 4D chess, and she knows exactly when a pawn needs to be where in order to set up a checkmate a thousand moves down the line

We simply don't know enough about Jikishirone's motivations or abilities to say how her personality informs her actions, but at the very least she's made it clear that she can't be relied on as a perfect preventative measure

Like I said, her prophecies are more of a plot device, giving us and the cast a sense of direction for where the story is meant to go next rather than serving as a comprehensive strategy guide

Time is Like a River

Now, I'm personally not a fan of prophecies that are so...blatant. "No Witch will ever acquire the World Hater Magik" is fine, because like Lord of the Rings' "no man can slay me," the original Japanese specifies that no "Magic Woman" will acquire the World Hater, leaving it open-ended that anyone who isn't a Magic Woman (like a Magic Man or a somehow non-Magic Woman) feasibly could

However, when the clause that "hope lies within the one who acquires the Uroro Magik" is introduced, that takes any and all ambiguity out of the equation: only one person can acquire a Magik at a time, so unless Ichi dies and another Madan comes along, the prophecy can only be referring to him

Vague prophecies give a lot of wiggle room and allow for narrative deception, giving the audience the opportunity to figure out for themselves what the author's true intentions are without it being spelled out for them. A specific prophecy like this becomes a question of "will it really happen or won't it" rather than "how will it happen." which I simply find less interesting

Of course, we've already established that Jiki can't really be trusted

As she's presented herself, she seems to be willing to hide information until the last minute, and even if her prophecies are perfectly accurate, they clearly don't inherently tell the whole story. As Jiki says, the part where "the Light goes out" was a recent addition to a previously existing prophecy, and one that already had an escape clause built-in with the Light existing at all to avert the destruction of the world. In other words, who's to say that Jiki doesn't already know the way to save Ichi that she just isn't sharing? Or that she won't find one down the line?

This uncertainty doesn't go unnoticed in-universe, either, as Ichi immediately agrees to throwing his life away for the sake of defeating the World Hater

Here For a Good Time, not a Long Time

Ever the optimist, Ichi looks at the prophecy as a win-win situation - either it's true and he dies doing what he loves (hunting and killing a strong opponent) or it's false and he gets to keep living to do what he loves. Either way, Ichi has always accepted the possibility of his own death during a hunt, so he takes the prophecy as more of a comfort that, even if he's fighting something strong enough to kill him, at least he'll take it down in the process

What's especially interesting though is that there's a little bit of a contradiction between this scene and when Ichi first killed the wolf in ch.1. Back then, Ichi thought there was no value in his life, and yet in order to survive, he found the strength of will to kill something else. This gives the impression that Ichi is the type who will do anything to survive, and yet here he's perfectly willing to die for the sake of the hunt, implying that he still doesn't value his life

This is probably something that will be touched on more next week, but I think it's less that he's willing to die and more that he's not bothered by death so long as he lives without regret. If he were to die of old age on a deathbed, I think he'd be pretty disappointed that he's not doing something fun with his last moments, but dying while taking down something stronger than him would be a hell of a story to tell in the afterlife (not that he believes in one)

The question isn't so much what Ichi thinks about death, though; the real question is if he's right to think that way about death, and it looks like Desscaras is going to be the one to answer that for us

It Should've Been Me

As Ichi emphatically agrees to Jikishirone's command that he heroically martyr himself, Desscaras can only stare in silence, her fist clenched in apprehension

There are a few ways to read into this. Since Desscaras was the one who was supposed to acquire Uroro, she may be upset that her failure means that someone else has to die fighting World Hater in her place. She may feel regret that she failed to acquire Uroro, she may feel responsible for getting Ichi killed, she might even feel jealous that she won't be the one to avenge her fallen home. It could even be a combination of all of them and any number of other emotions

It may also be that she's grown attached to Ichi and doesn't want to lose him. Seeing him be so glib with his life, especially since he's giving the same response that he gave when she invited him to join Mantinel in the first place, may well be heartbreaking for her, and again may make her feel like she's the one who got him killed. She may be reading into it the same way I am, surprised that he doesn't value himself as much as she expected

Whatever she's feeling though, her reaction next week will likely lead into a major thesis statement for the series - either she will say what Ichi needs to hear for him to understand just how valuable his life is, or Ichi will reveal a personal truth to Desscaras that makes it clear that while he does value his life, living it in a way that isn't true to himself isn't living at all

Basically, what it comes down to is whether or not Ichi is meant to have a positive character arc or a flat character arc. Is Ichi meant to learn a lesson, or is he meant to teach a lesson? The way this interaction goes will dictate the course of the narrative going forward, though certainly not immutably. It may turn out to be a misdirect, and whatever we're shown may end up reversed further down the line

Either way, I'm excited to see how Ichi and Desscaras' relationship develops from here. Desscaras having an actual emotional response to Ichi's attitude and fate already puts her on a different level than most shonen mentor figures, and I think that will only serve to make her vastly more interesting than the majority of her archetypical cohort

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[osunari]

⚠︎ s i l e n t t e m p t a t i o n s ( 18+ )

—ch.5

➤ s t a r t

Mr. crawling x MC

— h o m i c i p h e r 𒌧

"Human Emotions”

The previous mishaps marked a turning point in your journey, revealing the horrifying consequences of the curse and the bloodthirsty state it provokes.

Remembering the time you lost control and succumbed to the primal urge to kill, mr. machete was forced to draw his blade. Though his decision seemed cold, it was the only way to stop you from unleashing destruction—not just on him but on everything around. His actions, however brutal, carried an undercurrent of conflict.

Killing you wasn't anything about hatred or punishment but about halting the spread of the darkness consuming you. In a place like this, survival never bothered to leave room for sentimentality.

What had made this revelation even more chilling is the cycle it implies. As your memories fade like old scars, the curse doesn't just hollow you out—it strips away every trace of humanity, leaving behind the raw instincts of the killer you once were. Never not a simple transformation, but a distortion of identity. The urge to kill is all that remained, as if the curse thrives on feeding the worst parts of you. The truth finally exposed; every time the bloodlust takes over, someone must intervene to "reset" you through none other but death. The dark process becoming a twisted means of survival, forcing those around you to make impossible choices.

For mr. machete, this act of "mercy" carried its own weight. Despite his stoic demeanor, the act of killing you hinted at an internal struggle—one he hides beneath his scarred and bandaged exterior, masking any emotion that he failed to suppress. Through deep analysis, you began to realize that his past actions, even his first violent encounter with you, were not random acts of aggression but calculated measures to protect you from something far worse; yourself. His quiet resilience in the face of such moral ambiguity revealed that he may not just be a companion in this cursed world but someone who understands its horrors better than a few at least.

The world felt brand new, free of the gnawing dread that had once consumed you. Your skin glowed with a warmth you hadn’t felt in what seemed like eons, your reflection no longer a haunting specter of decay but a vision of vitality. Your hair was sleek, strands flowing with a softness that caught the faint glimmer of the ghostly light around you. It was as if someone had pressed a reset button on your very existence, erasing the physical signs of corruption that had once taken over. You moved cautiously, your hands trembling slightly, not from weakness, but from the sheer disbelief of feeling whole again. For the first time in a while, the weight of despair didn’t feel like it was crushing your chest.

But despite the warmth of your newfound state, memories from before lingered on the edge of your mind. You couldn’t erase them—the bloodthirsty haze, the loss of control, and the moment mr. machete had been forced to strike you down. The image of his weapon glinting in the faint light before it pierced through you replayed in your head, and you shuddered. I really did die, you thought. And yet, here I am, alive… better… human again. But at what cost? The curse had reset you, as if wiping a slate clean, but it didn’t erase the growing fear that this new clarity wouldn’t last.

. . .

The creak of a door broke through mr. silvair’s territory. You looked up, and there stood mr. silvair, his calm demeanor faltering ever so slightly as his gaze swept over you. His usual confidence gave way to a flicker of astonishment, a brief widening of his sharp covered eyes before he spoke. “几ㄩ(you) . . . 几ㄩ(you) 乃乂几ㄚ千(healthy) !” he murmured, stepping closer, his crimson-tipped syringe forgotten in his hand. He hesitated as if unsure whether to come closer, his gaze shifting between awe and curiosity.

You opened your mouth to respond but stopped as you noticed a familiar severed head perched on a nearby counter. Mr. chopped’s expressive eyes lit up, his voice cutting through the tension with playful disbelief. “几ㄚ(my) ㄚ乃ㄩ乇(woman) ! ! 几乇(me) ㄚ几乃(miss) 几ㄩ(you) !” he exclaimed. “几ㄩ(you) 丂匚ㄚ乙(beautiful) , 几ㄚ(me) 卩ㄥ几(like) !”

The sight of him ignited something within you—a surge of joy and relief that propelled you forward without thought. “Chopped!” you cried, rushing past mr. silvair. The sound of your feet on the floor filled the room as you scooped the severed head into your arms, holding him close. “Me miss you! Me like you too!” Your voice cracked slightly, the emotion catching you off guard. It had been far too long since you’d felt anything this pure, this simple.

Mr. chopped chuckled, his tone teasing but warm. “几ㄩ(you) 乃乙ㄩ(touch) 乇乂(me) ! ! 几乙(maybe) 几ㄩ(you) 乃匚ㄩ(want) 乃尺几ㄩ丂几(marry) 乇乂(me) ?” You laughed, the sound so unfamiliar that it startled even you. “You cute, so cute!” you said while pinching his puffed cheeks, dodging his question. “几ㄚ(me) 几乃尺(want) 尺几(be) 乙ㄩ(with) 几ㄩ(you) ! 乇乂(me) ㄩ丂几(wait) !” For now, you just wanted to revel in the reunion, to push aside the lingering questions and simply exist in this moment.

From behind, mr. silvair approached with quiet fascination. He watched your interaction with mr. chopped, his usually cold gaze softening as he observed the genuine happiness on your face. Gently, he reached out and twirled a lock of your hair between his gloved fingers. “ㄚㄩ爪乇(soft) .” he muttered, almost to himself, before letting the strand fall back. “几ㄩ卄(i see) 几ㄩ(you) ㄚ乃ㄩㄚ(found) 丂几卂ㄩ(answers) .” he said, his tone warmer than you were used to. His smile, though faint, was genuine.

You nodded, offering a small smile in return. “Indeed.” you said softly.

“乃ㄚ尺(good) . 几ㄚ(me) ㄚ乃几ㄩ尺 (happy) .” he murmured, reaching out to ruffle your hair in a gesture that was surprisingly comforting. “几ㄩ(you) 乃乂几ㄚ千(healthy)  .” Mr. silvair had been hovering for a while, watching the two of you with a knowing, but unreadable expression. He adjusted his glasses, cleared his throat, and smiled, though there was a hint of concern in his eyes. “几ㄚ(me) 丨ㄒ(in) 乃千(the) 山ㄚ卂(way) . . ?” he remarked in a tease, his gaze flicking between you and the severed head in your arms. “几ㄚ(me) 卩山几乂(leave) 几ㄩ(you) 丂乙ㄚ乂(both) 几乂丂乙(alone) .”

Before you could respond, he stepped toward the door, pausing for a moment. “ㄚ乃(no) ㄩㄖ卩爪ㄒ(pressure) .” he said, offering a faint smile as he opened the door. “几卩ㄥㄒ(take) ㄩ几(your) 尺卂ㄚ乃(time) .” With that, mr. silvair left, closing the door behind him. The room suddenly felt quieter, the tension that had been lingering between you and mr. chopped now almost palpable.

The two of you sat in the soft silence for a moment. The absence of his male companion instantly turned him into a huge orange ball of shyness, unable to show the same excitement as he did earlier now that his vulnerable side was exposed to your dominant ones. You noticed his cute flushed state as he laid peacefully against your soft lap—eventually deciding to ruin it by picking him up and cradling him close to your chest, closer to your beating heart. Despite the occasional flicker of uncertainty in the air, it was oddly comforting as you started to notice his shyness slowly melt away.

“几ㄚ(me) ㄚ山爪乃(like) . 几ㄚ(me) ㄚ山爪乃(like) 卂ㄒ乃ㄚ(a lot) !” he said, his voice breaking the elongated silence. “几ㄚ(me) 乃ㄚ乙(need) 几ㄩㄚ(more) 卂山ㄚㄒ(touch) , 几ㄚ(me) ㄚ山爪乃(like) 几ㄩ(your) 卂山ㄚㄒ(touch) ! . .”

Mr. chopped turned his head toward you, his orange braid swaying slightly as he did. He gave you a soft look, his eyes unreadable but softening as he did. “乃ㄚㄩ(with) 几ㄩ(you) , 几ㄚ(me) ㄚ乃卩ㄖ几(happy) !” His usual sharp, straightforward demeanor seemed to soften in the quiet of the room, almost like he was allowing himself a moment of peace—away from all the other lurkers which he hid a side of him from.

. . .

In the dim corridors of the ghostly apartment, a faint sound of weeping echoed. Its high-pitch would lead anyone to think it could belong to that of a small weeping child—but in reality, it was someone far from small. It led to an empty cabinet tucked away in a forgotten corner of the building, its doors rattling slightly with each shuddering sob. Inside, twisted and contorted in ways that defied logic, was none other but your hurt loyal companion. His lanky frame folded over itself as he wept uncontrollably, his jagged teeth clenched together in anguish.

He clutched his head with his elongated fingers, shaking it back and forth as though trying to dispel the dark thoughts clouding his mind. “几ㄚ(me) 乃乙ㄩ(slow) , 几ㄚ(me) 乃乙ㄩ(slow) . ! 几ㄚ(me) 山丂乙几爪(useless) . .” he muttered to himself, his voice cracking. “几ㄚ(me) ㄚ乙ㄩ(fail) 乇尺千ㄚ(protect) .” The thought of you out there; hurt, lost, or worse—gnawed at him relentlessly. It had been two days since he’d last seen you, every second feelinh like a dagger to his heart.

Images of you flashed through his mind—the way your genuine smile would comfort him in any given situation, the way you mimicked their language in the most broken way possible, and the memorable moments you two had shared together. Just as a smile could creep up to his face, darker memories crept in; the way you had looked at him during your last encounter, the anger in your voice, the distance between you. “ㄚ乃(she) 卩几爪ㄩ(hate) 几ㄚ(me) . .” he whispered in a cry. “ㄚ乃(she) 乃几(no) 乃乙ㄚ丂(accept) 几ㄚ(me) 山尺千ㄩ(apology) . .”

The thought of you hating him was unbearable. But worse was the fear that you might be gone. What if mr. hugeface had taken you? What if mr. scarletella’s selfish tendencies had claimed you as his own? The possibilities clawed at him, his overthinking spiraling into a pit of despair. He curled tighter into himself, his lanky frame trembling as the cabinet creaked under the strain.

“几乇(me) 丂ㄚㄒ卩(sorry) . 几乇(me) 丂ㄚㄒ卩(sorry) .” he whispered to the empty air. “几乇(me) 几ㄩ卩(want) 几ㄩ(you) 乃ﾌㄖ(back) . .”

. . .

The halls of the ghost hotel stretched endlessly before you, dimly lit by faint, flickering lights that lined the walls. It wasn’t a place you’d expect to find solace, but somehow, you felt a lightness in your step today. The goodbyes with mr. chopped had been heartfelt, though tinged with sadness, you left mr. silvair’s territory with an odd sense of closure. The past days had been a storm, an endless cascade of misfortunes, yet here you were, walking with a renewed sense of purpose.

I’m going to leave this place for real now.

A soft smile played on your lips. It was true what they said—there was always a rainbow after the storm. You glanced down at your new outfit, the one mr. silvair had offered after coming back from leaving you and mr. chopped alone. It was a gift, he’d said, found among the otherworldly remnants scattered across the strange plane. Somehow, he knew it would suit you.

The skirt hugged your thighs snugly, its fabric moving effortlessly with your stride. The white tank top, adorned with a small strawberry design at its center, felt oddly fresh against your skin. Minimal yet stylish, it was a far cry from the oversized raincoats and makeshift dresses you’d worn before.

As you walked, you adjusted the hem of the skirt, feeling it rise slightly higher than you were used to. A small, almost mischievous chuckle escaped your lips. It wasn’t something you’d normally wear, but today… today, you didn’t mind. Tucked in your hair was the pink hairclip mr. chopped had given you. It was whimsical and a bit childish, yet it added an unexpected charm to your appearance. Did he and mr. silvair plan this? It got me thinking…

You ran a hand through your now well-groomed hair, the clip holding back your bangs from falling into your face. Everything felt so… new. The world around you still loomed with shadows, but for once, they didn’t feel as heavy.

But as your thoughts wandered, a prickling sensation began to creep up your spine.

Someone’s there.

Your steps slowed, the faint echoes of your shoes against the tiled floor now joined by something faint, something subtle. The softest rustle, a shift of air. You didn’t need to look back to know who it was. You’d felt this presence before—silent, watching, waiting.

"Mr. scarletella," you called out, your voice steady despite the small tremor in your chest. "I know you in there."

Silence.

You sighed, turning to face the direction of the presence. There he was.

He stood just a few feet away, his tall frame casting an imposing shadow on the wall. His red hair, straight and slightly disheveled, fell across his face in a way that framed his sharp features. Those round black eyes; half-lidded, piercing, and unyielding—locked onto yours with an intensity that made your breath hitch. The light in his gaze was unsettling, but there was something else beneath it—a flicker of curiosity, admiration even. His eyes roamed over your figure, lingering on the subtle curves the outfit revealed.

He was definitely sure about one thing—you knew about the curse, and how to combat it. But from whom you’d learn it from, he hadn’t a clue—he didn’t care anymore. He wanted you and that’s all he knew, all he needed to fight for.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence stretched thin, the air between you thick with unspoken tension.

You shifted uncomfortably, adjusting the hem of your skirt once again, feeling his gaze like a physical weight on your skin. “This one hell of a weirdo…” you muttered under your breath, your native tongue soft but biting.

His grin widened ever so slightly, unbothered by your insult which he understood with your behavior alone. If anything, he seemed amused.

“What you wan—” you began, but your words faltered as he took a step forward.

There was a fluidity to his movements now, no longer the eerie teleport—glitches you were accustomed to. He moved like liquid, smooth and deliberate, crouching lowly to bring his face closer to yours.

You froze.

His umbrella clattered to the ground, abandoned, his fingers reaching up—tentatively and curiously. The glint in his eyes remained, but his touch… his touch was soft. He gently brushes his fingers against the pink hairclip, his thumb tracing the small shape with unexpected care.

“ㄚ卩几丂(cute) .” he murmured, his voice low and gravelly. Your breath caught in your throat as his fingers moved from the clip to your hair, running through its silky strands. He seemed fascinated, almost in awe, as if seeing you like this was something entirely new to him. “几ㄩ(you) ㄚ乃(not) 尺ㄒ几(run) 乃ㄚ卂山(away) ?” he finally asked, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant.

You shook your head, the motion slight but enough to convey your answer. Despite the unease his presence usually brought, there was something different about him now. He wasn’t the predator lurking in the shadows. He was… something else. You were used to stereotyping him into a psychotic weird maniac that followed your steps like a dog, but seeing him be the opposite of that—it made you less uncomfortable around his presence.

You discreetly leaned into his touch— just slightly, almost imperceptibly, but he noticed. His eyes widening briefly, as if caught off guard by your unspoken permission. For a moment, he looked as though he didn't know what to do with the gesture, his usually composed demeanor faltering ever so slightly. Yet, his fingers remained in your hair, brushing gently against the strands as if testing the boundaries of this newfound intimacy.

Then, his hand moved lower, slow and deliberate, his fingers grazing your shoulder before stopping at the embroidered strawberry on your shirt.

He tilted his head, the faint light glinting off his curious eyes as he traced the delicate stitching. His touch was light, almost reverent, as though the small detail fascinated him in a way you couldn't understand.

“Strawberry… you like?” you questioned, pointing at the imagery embroided in your shirt—to which he nodded.

His fingertips glided over the textured design, the soft friction of fabric against your skin sending a faint shiver through you. It was so subtle, so precise, that it left a lingering warmth in its wake. The way he handled even the smallest details—like the weave of the thread or the curve of the strawberry-felt oddly intimate, as though he were exploring a part of you that was uniquely yours.

“Strawberry.” He muttered, copying the way you had said it in your own language—uncontrollably leaving you smiling.

Your breath hitched slightly when his thumb brushed over the fabric just below the design, his movements unhurried yet deliberate. He was savoring every moment, every inch of this small, simple contact. His eyes flicked back to yours, catching the faint tremor in your chest, the corner of his mouth twitching as if he’d noticed how deeply he affected you.

“几卂山乃(nice) .” he said, his grin softening into something more genuine, though his gaze remained fixated on you.

You couldn’t help but notice how intently he admired just about everything about you, his fingers carefully exploring every detail about you as though it were some rare, precious artifact. There was something oddly endearing about it, the way he cherished even the smallest details with such genuine fascination. For a brief moment, you found yourself smiling softly, realizing just how fitting it was—if he were to turn into any fruit, he’d undoubtedly be a strawberry. With his striking red hair and that subtle sweetness hidden beneath his mischievous exterior, it just made sense. The thought lingered for a moment, and then it hit you—he was actually… cute. You blinked, startled by the realization, and quickly looked away, heat rushing to your cheeks. It wasn’t just the strawberry comparison or his red hair; it was the way he paid attention to the little things, the way he seemed so childlike in his wonder despite everything else about him being so overwhelming. The thought made your chest flutter in a way that was both embarrassing and oddly comforting, you silently hoped he hadn’t noticed the shift in your expression.

But he didn't stop there. His hand wandered down, his fingers brushing the hem of your skirt with a featherlight touch that sent a shiver through your body. He paused, his gaze snapping up to meet yours, as if asking for permission, his dark eyes now soft yet piercing, searching for any hint of resistance. You didn't say a word, but the way you stood still, your breath hitching ever so slightly, told him everything he needed to know. You weren't stopping him—you weren't pulling away.

That small, unspoken signal was all the encouragement he needed. Slowly, his fingers began to explore further, grazing the delicate fabric with deliberate care. The warmth of his touch seeped through the material, his movements slow and purposeful as if savoring every moment. You felt your heart race, a flush creeping up your neck as he drew closer to the sensitive skin just above your thighs. His actions weren't rushed or greedy; they were curious, almost respectful, as though he was discovering something he wanted to remember forever.

He glanced up again, his expression unreadable but intense, his lips parting slightly as though he was going to speak—but hesitated. Instead, he let his hand linger just at the edge of what was decent, his fingers brushing the barest hint of skin beneath the hem. The intimacy of the moment was almost unbearable, your breath quickening as his touch sent small jolts of electricity coursing through you. His gaze never left yours, and in that quiet exchange, the air between you felt heavy, charged with something you weren't sure either of you fully understood yet.

His touch grew bolder, his fingers skimming the bare skin of your thighs. Your breathing quickened, the warmth of his hand leaving a trail of heat wherever it went. His agape mouth faltered slightly, replaced by a more focused, almost reverent expression as he watched your reactions.

You tried to keep your composure, but the blush creeping up your neck betrayed you. His fingers pressed against the fabric of your skirt, tugging it gently upward, exposing more of your skin with each passing second.

“Scarlet…” you whispered, your voice trembling.

He instantly paused, his gaze snapping back to yours, dark and searching, as though gauging your every reaction. For a fleeting moment, you thought he might put an end to his sensual actions, but instead, his hand shifted, moving with deliberate intent after confirming your allowing expression.

As if he could sense the unspoken tension between you—he leans one hand to the wall behind you for support, his other hand slid to your waist, settling there with a possessive ease. His thumb brushed the bare skin just above your skirt slowly, deliberately, sending a jolt through you that felt almost electric. The pad of his thumb traced small, languid circles on the exposed skin, his touch both tender and teasing. The contact was light, yet it felt heavy, leaving a trail of heat in its wake that had your mind racing. He leaned in ever so slightly, close enough for you to feel the faint warmth radiating from him, his movements unhurried, as if savoring every second of the moment he held you.

His eyes locked with yours, and for a moment, everything else seemed to blur. His touch, his gaze, the proximity—it all became too much, too intimate, yet you found yourself rooted in place, unable and unwilling to pull away.

The heat between you was noticeable now, unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. His fingers toying with the hem of your skirt, lifting it slightly to reveal the smooth skin of your upper thigh. His touch was deliberate, savoring every inch of you as if committing it to memory.

Your heart raced, the flush on your cheeks deepening as you let him explore. You weren’t sure what this was—curiosity, lust, something more? But you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him.

His thumb ventured higher, the path it traced growing bolder with each second, leaving a blazing warmth in its wake. Every inch he ascended felt like uncharted territory, your breath catching as his touch teased the edge of your self-control. You could feel your heart pounding, a rhythm that matched the deliberate, calculated movements of his hand. His thumb hovered dangerously close to your most sensitive place, the anticipation thick enough to drown in.

But then, he stopped—his entire body tensing, his hand frozen in place. The moment hung in the air, thick with tension, as if time itself had paused. His fingers hovered at the edge of something forbidden, the barest touch brushing against a boundary he hadn’t meant to cross. The shock hit him in a flash, his thumb barely grazing that intimate threshold, a realization dawning on him that what he’d just touched was beyond anything he had expected. His breath caught, and for a split second, he seemed unsure whether to pull away or give in to the unexpected temptation. His gaze snapped up to yours, searching for any hint of permission, his mind scrambling to make sense of the electrifying moment he’d just created.

Mr. silvair’s gift did not come with panties.

.

.

.

[ Route 1 : SFW (Shows a route wherein NSFW content are replaced by SFW scenes.) Skip to the next chapter for NSFW(18+) version. ]

He didn't pull away immediately, as if caught in the struggle between instinct and restraint. The intensity in his gaze softened, the heat of desire tempered by a fragile sense of guilt. You didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed at his hesitation, but one thing was certain—this moment had shifted something irreversibly between the two of you.

He stepped back, letting your skirt fall back into place. His grin returned, though it was softer now, more restrained. He fixed your clothes with surprising care, his hands lingering briefly before pulling away.

The silence that followed was deafening, your breaths the only sound in the still hallway.

Scarletella’s sharp gaze lingered on you, his expression unreadable, as though he was piecing together a puzzle only he could see. His lips parted, the strange, melodic cadence of his voice breaking the silence. “几ㄩ(you) . . . 乂几卩ㄚ(feel) 几爪尺ㄚ(things) .” he murmured, the words rolling off his tongue like a revelation, yet spoken almost to himself.

It was as though he wasn’t just stating it—he was savoring the realization, testing the weight of the truth in the air between you. His tone carried a curious mix of intrigue and satisfaction, as if your human emotions were a puzzle he’d just begun to understand. It sent a shiver through you, his words more intimate than they had any right to be.

You didn’t respond. You couldn’t.

But deep down, you knew he was right.

—ch.5

➤ e n d

"Human Emotions”

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hey !

I love reading your posts , you are brilliant truly.

I would like to request an analysis of James potter and maybe his relationship with lily Evans.

Thank you so much for your time !

Hi!

Thank you so much! 💕 I love writing these analysis posts, and I'm so glad other people enjoy reading them!

Now, James and Lily Potter, I'll start by giving my biased opinion which is that I like them as characters (especially Lily, love her) and their relationship.

So without further ado:

James Potter's Childhood

So before the Pottermore article that revealed Fleamont and Euphemia existed, the common fanon parents of James were Charlus and Dorea, I'm going to go with Fleamont and Euphemia being his parents though. (I still sometimes prefer his parents to be Charlus and Dorea in fic, even though it makes less sense with what we know about James, as I'll mention later).

So what do we know about the Potter family?

We know they are pretty rich. Not Malfoy or Black level rich, but they have a substantial amount of money as shown repeatedly:

Griphook unlocked the door. A lot of green smoke came billowing out, and as it cleared, Harry gasped. Inside were mounds of gold coins. Columns of silver. Heaps of little bronze Knuts.

(PS, 57)

We also know, from Pottermore, that the Potters are relatively newer money, making a good portion of their wealth from Henry Potter’s potions business (James' grandfather).

We also know Potters are common enough members in the Wizengamont from Pottermore. I posed here that the Wizengamot seats pass down families, which will place the Potters as wealthy and influential in the wizarding community as a whole.

“My whole family have been in Slytherin,” he said. “Blimey,” said James, “and I thought you seemed all right!” Sirius grinned. “Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?” James lifted an invisible sword. “’Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!’ Like my dad.” Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him. “Got a problem with that?”

(DH, 567)

We know from James his father was in Gryffindor and probably his grandfather too. His distaste towards Slythering and anything resembling Dark Magic probably came from home. The same way Draco came to Hogwarts with his notions of blood purity and how Slytherin was the best house because he was parroting his parents, James is the same. He is an 11-year-old shouting off whatever he hears at home.

This is why I mentioned Fleamont and Euphemia make more sense as James' parents. As much as I personally like the idea of his parents being Charlus and Dorea, it wouldn't make sense with what we see. Dorea was born a Black, which means James would likely know who Sirius is and would probably have different notions regarding Slytherin house if his mother was there...

James Potter, then, grew up as the only child of a rich and politically influential family of Gryffindors, he was spoiled and used to having anything he wanted whenever he wanted, which is clear from his behavior.

James yawned hugely and rumpled up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. Then, with a glance toward Professor Flitwick, he turned in his seat and grinned at a boy sitting four seats behind him.

(OotP, 642)

He is brilliant and he is aware of it. Lily refers to him as arrogant often before they start dating, and I have to agree with her assessment of the teenage James. James at 15 is lounging in his seat and feels untouchable. He is at the top of his own world, popular, rich, and brilliant. So of course he's arrogant, he feels like nothing could reach him.

Ron said, stopping mid-sentence at the look on Harry’s face. “Why are you grinning?” “I’m not,” said Harry quickly, looking down at his Transfiguration notes and attempting to straighten his face. The truth was that Ron had just reminded Harry forcibly of another Gryffindor Quidditch player who had once sat rumpling his hair under this very tree.

(OotP, 704)

But it isn't that simple. James chooses to appear unbothered and untouchable, and I do think he is prideful but not as arrogant as Lily and Snape make him out to be, even at 15. The reason I think that is the above passage. I never really saw anyone bring it up in association with James' character, but Harry mentions Ron messing up his hair as he brags about his Quidditch save in much the same way James did in the memory he saw. The reason this is interesting is that we know Ron, we know how insecure he is and that all this hair messing is show and bravado that isn't fully backed up.

And considering the parallels I already mentioned James having with Draco and will mention more of them later, I wonder if James really does have insecurities he covers up with pride and arrogance — something we see both Ron do (in the above scene) and Draco do in general.

James Potter, when it comes down to it, has more in common with Draco Malfoy than with Harry in terms of his personality and even character arc, down to some of the things he says:

“Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?” James asked the boy lounging on the seats opposite him, and with a jolt, Harry realized that it was Sirius. Sirius did not smile.

-James Potter to Sirius Black, 1971 (DH, 567)

“Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I’ll be in Slytherin, all our family have been — imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?”

-Draco Malfoy to Harry Potter, 1991 (PS, 58)

So James is spoiled, snobbish, and used to getting his way in everything, unlike Lily and Sirius, who grew up with siblings and were more used to having to share or give up their wants sometimes. James also feels the need to live up to certain expectations, he has to be the best (the way Draco thought he would be at Hogwarts), he needs to be popular and top of the class and a lot of his pride and confidence probably hinges on these external sources, his arrogance is superficial. I just can't see a character who has real self-confidence be shown in narrative parallels to either Ron "self-esteem issues" Weasley or Draco "Arrogance to Hide Weakness" Malfoy.

The Mauraders

We move on to James' time at Hogwarts. He gets sorted into Gryffindor and befriends the Mauraders. I kinda want to talk about their friendship dynamic a bit, because it is interesting.

We saw in the earlier quote from the train, that Sirius was the first of the Mauraders James met, and he was the closest to him out of the bunch. I'm going to talk more about Sirius and James' friendship later in this post as they are a separate entity from the Marauders. I mean, there's a reason everyone in PoA keeps mentioning James and Sirius in a single breath while Lupin is never brought up.

(I know the reason is so JKR could keep the reveal for later, but in universe, it's quite telling)

Now, from what we see of them, they have a very clear dynamic. James is the leader, and Sirius is his second and only real equal (academically and by popularity) who are the closest to each other. Then we have Remus, who is friends with them, but they don't take him or his concerns as seriously. Remus was usually afraid to speak up against James and Sirius because he felt he was expandable to the friend group, a feeling Peter shared, if even worse than Remus. James and Sirius didn't really treat Peter great:

“Put that away, will you?” said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer. “Before Wormtail wets himself from excitement.” Wormtail turned slightly pink but James grinned. “If it bothers you,” he said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket. Harry had the distinct impression that Sirius was the only one for whom James would have stopped showing off.

(OotP, 645)

Sirius is the one James actually takes cues from and vice versa. Pettigrew is often belittled and made the butt of their jokes and Remus:

“I’m bored,” said Sirius. “Wish it was full moon.” “You might,” said Lupin darkly from behind his book.

(OotP, 345)

“How thick are you, Wormtail?” said James impatiently. “You run round with a werewolf once a month —” “Keep your voice down,” implored Lupin. Harry looked anxiously behind him again.

(OotP, 643)

Is treated friendlier than Peter, but not with the same respect James and Sirius reserve for each other. James mentions Remus is a werewolf in a crowded hall, Sirius endangered Remus' secret during The Prank. We see Sirius doesn't really take Remus' Lycanthropy as the serious concern it is for Remus. Obviously, Sirius gets better about it, but this is the dynamic of the Marauders the way we see them. It's a far cry from a healthy friend group, but they were teenagers, and teens actually do on occasion have these kinds of friend groups that you question if it can be called friendship (I know I've seen a few of these in my school). I think the adult Remus and Sirius we see in OotP are closer than they were in school, and the reason for that was the war and having no one else really, but this is a James meta and not a Mauraders in general meta, so I'll focus.

Prongs

Many in the fandom already talked about what a brilliant and insane feat of magic becoming animagi at 15 is. We know James was a prodigy in Transfiguration and other areas of magic as well considering his confidence regarding the DADA exam. What I want to talk about Prongs, in particular, is the symbolism of a stag as one's Animagus form.

I talked about this a little already here, but basically, stags and deers in general represent:

The cycle of life and death

Agility and grace

Bravery

Nobility

Stags additionally represent:

Masculinity

Authority

Leadership

Fatherhood

So, what does all this tell us about James?

Well, it tells us he is as Gryffindor as they come (Bravery & Nobility), the cycle of life & death is his connection to the Peverells and his own early demise. Agility and grace make sense as well if you take it to mean he was a talented and graceful dueler, which is very possible and even likely.

And then we have the stag-specific traits. These are traits I think James only grew into later in life and would've grown into more. I mean, he was always charismatic and had the ability to lead people, he was leading the Mauraders and was incredibly popular. But I think the traits of the stag with fatherhood and authority suggest maturity, something the young James definitely lacked. I think his Animagus, more than anything proves he did change, and would've continued growing into himself to truly become the stag if he was given a chance to grow old. Because stags are positive leadership, father figures, and authority, they are supposed to represent the noblest kinds of leaders they have the internal self-confidence James lacks. And if that is the animal that represents James, it means he had it in him to be what the stag represents.

Bullying and Maturity

Sirius said it well enough:

“Yeah,” said Harry, “but he just attacked Snape for no good reason, just because — well, just because you said you were bored,” he finished with a slightly apologetic note in his voice. “I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly. Lupin looked sideways at Sirius and then said, “Look, Harry, what you’ve got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did — everyone thought they were the height of cool — if they sometimes got a bit carried away —” “If we were sometimes arrogant little berks, you mean,” said Sirius. Lupin smiled. “He kept messing up his hair,” said Harry in a pained voice. Sirius and Lupin laughed. “I’d forgotten he used to do that,” said Sirius affectionately. “Was he playing with the Snitch?” said Lupin eagerly. “Yeah,” said Harry, watching uncomprehendingly as Sirius and Lupin beamed reminiscently. “Well . . . I thought he was a bit of an idiot.” “Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly. “We were all idiots!

(OotP, 670)

James was an awful bully, toward Snape:

“This’ll liven you up, Padfoot,” said James quietly. “Look who it is. . . .” Sirius’s head turned. He had become very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit. “Excellent,” he said softly. “Snivellus.”

(OotP, 645)

“And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it,” said Lupin. “Even Snape?” said Harry. “Well,” said Lupin slowly, “Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James, so you couldn’t really expect James to take that lying down, could you?” “And my mum was okay with that?” “She didn’t know too much about it, to tell you the truth,” said Sirius. “I mean, James didn’t take Snape on dates with her and jinx him in front of her, did he?”

(OotP, 671)

And even toward Peter, who Sirius and James constantly belittle:

“How thick are you, Wormtail?” said James impatiently. “You run round with a werewolf once a month —”

(OotP, 643)

I mentioned above how the 15-year-old James wasn't really the embodiment of the stag just yet, like Sirius said they were idiots. Sure, Harry rightfully calls them out that it isn't a good excuse for anything they did, but Harry is a very mature 15-year-old.

As for what motivated his bullying?

Honestly, I think it wasn't all that dissimilar to Draco, in terms of motivations at least. I mentioned above how James' conception of himself is tied to his being at the top, the most popular, the most talented, the top student. One way to feel at the top is to put others down. Most of his bullying was probably fueled by this need to assure himself he is better and assert control (but, more on that later).

I don't think Snape should forgive James or any of the Mauraders or anything like that, not at all, what they did to him was awful and the fact James continued seeking him out even after he mostly dropped the bullying makes it so much worse.

But at the same time, I tend to believe Sirius, Remus, and Lily about him changing, that, given time, he would've matured even more:

“Look,” he said, “your father was the best friend I ever had, and he was a good person. A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.”

(OotP, 671)

I'm a big believer that people can and do change over time, especially teenagers. Life experiences change who you are, especially big and traumatic occasions, and James encountered one hell of a life experience to kick-start his growth and maturity:

The first wizarding war

I won't go into the full detail on what happened in the war but I want to talk about how the war changed James.

I discussed the progression of the first war as part of my analysis of Voldemort here and when James and Lily went into hiding here. Now, the Marauders were in school between September of 1971 and June of 1978. As I mentioned in the Voldemort analysis post I linked, the war really started getting bad, the first casualties, were in 1975 when the minister of magic was replaced. This makes James and the Mauraders 5th or 6th years when the war truly begins. I personally think this was late in 1975, as in November or December when the Minister was booted from office, aligning well with James' change.

What I think this was for him is a moment the rug was pulled from under him.

I think, the same way the second war showed Draco who he is as a person, that he doesn't want to hurt and torture, not even muggleborns, the first war was the same for James. He learned about himself and his own priorities. He just learned different things than Draco because James is very much willing to hurt and probably kill for what he thinks is just and for the people he cares for. He can be cruel and ruthless.

The wizarding world is an incredibly small community, with this kind of small population that almost all work together (the ministry) when someone dies, especially someone important (I believe the first deaths were high in the ministry or even Wizengamont members) it rattles everything. For James, who felt his skill, money, and status made him practically untouchable, this is a slap in the face. This to him starts his journey to see he is not above anyone else and he is just like anyone else — can die and hurt like everyone else.

War, even when you aren't on the front lines, even just hearing that Mr. Whatever's brother was killed and your old neighbors who moved away lost their son — it doesn't leave you unscathed. It forces you to confront how little control over certain aspects of life you actually have. And in a community so small that every death is someone you at least knew in passing or knew someone who knew — every death hits hard. Every death feels too close to home.

I think this is part of why James continued bullying Snape even after his change in approach. It wasn't out of the same arrogance as before, now it's by a need to feel in control. To hurt a familiar enemy that represents the Death Eaters to feel a semblance of stability under his feet. I think, this was part of what motivated James, a roundabout justice against the Death Eaters at large when he felt powerless. So he took it on whoever he could — in this case, Snape.

I'm not trying to justify it, I'm just explaining what I think motivated James and why he would do that if he was in the process of changing for the better.

All of this gives James ample motivation to join the Order, after all, he wants to hit back against the Death eaters, he wants to feel balanced and in control again. So he probably jumped at the opportunity to join the Order.

The Order of the Phoenix

We don't know much about what James did in the Order, and it doesn't matter too much for the sake of analysis. We know he joined at graduation, so, June 1978. I also mentioned in the aforementioned post how the war got worse in 1979, which means that before he went into hiding, James was probably involved in a few skirmishes in the war when it was already at its peak.

We also know James and Lily got married incredibly early, almost immediately after graduating. That too, is probably influenced by the war. After all, war can either speed up life events or slow them down, depending on various factors among which is the optimism of the people involved. James and Lily getting married and pregnant in the middle of the war tell us something about their characters — it tells us they were incredibly optimistic and hopeful for the future. They got married and had Harry in the hope and belief that the war would be over soon enough and Harry would grow up in a better world. That is what they believed in and I think this is just, really interesting.

Then they went into hiding, and we know what happened from there. There are two things I want to mention about this period in hiding in regards to James' character.

First, James' first choice was Sirius, Sirius is the one to convince him to choose Pettigrew instead:

“Harry . . . I as good as killed them,” he croaked. “I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as Secret-Keeper instead of me. . . . I’m to blame, I know it. . . .

(PoA, 365)

As I mentioned above, the Mauraders looked down on Pettigrew. I think the plan always was to tell everyone Sirius was the secret keeper so he'd draw the fire and torture and potential death, so the real secret keeper, and the secret, would remain safe even if he was killed for it (which is a sad thought, but that's about Sirius).

Pettigrew was chosen by Sirius for how unassuming he is, Sirius is so ready to sacrifice his life for his friends that he couldn't fathom Pettigrew wouldn't do the same. James didn't choose Pettigrew because of his faith in him as a friend the way Voldemort implies, no, I think James chose Pettigrew because of his faith in Sirius. If Sirius said its a good idea, then it was a good idea to James.

Second, is this quote:

James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell

(DH, 158)

There are two things I want to unpack in this one sentence (I do love doing that).

James, quite similar to Sirius in OotP, doesn't like being cooped up away from the action. He hates not being out there for very similar reasons to Sirius. He loathes feeling useless like he isn't doing anything to help while people are dying. While his friends are risking their lives. James, at his core, is a person who cares deeply for the people he considers his, he would feel incredible guilt sitting safely behind magical protections while they were in danger.

Lily says James is trying to hide how frustrated he actually is, this is significant, why? Well because the 15-year-old version of James who complained easily about being a little bored wouldn't have hid his complaints. He would have voiced them to anyone willing to listen. The fact he isn't doing that shows some of his growth and maturity, it shows he is self-aware enough about the situation that he knows he shouldn't be the one complaining considering he and his family are safe. He still feels frustrated for the above reasons, but he tries to be considerate and keep things at home with Lily as intense as he can in the way he thinks is best. He is actively trying, and I think that's important.

Now, James has two important relationships that really define his character for me. Sirius and Lily.

Quite the Double Act

I adore James and Sirius's friendship honestly, they were each other's most important person and I can't really talk about James without talking about Sirius (as seen in this entire post), after all, no one in the books seems able to operate these two when talking about them in POA:

“Naturally,” said Madam Rosmerta, with a small laugh. “Never saw one without the other, did you? The number of times I had them in here — ooh, they used to make me laugh. Quite the double act, Sirius Black and James Potter!”

(PoA, 204)

Sirius and James met on the train at the age of 11 and couldn't be separated since (well, until death, that is). They are the heart of the Mauraders as a friend group and I've seen some other blogs bring up already how unhinged their friendship was:

This is a two-way mirror. I’ve got the other. If you need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you’ll appear in my mirror and I’ll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.

(OotP, 858)

They literally invented an advanced magical communication method so they wouldn't have to go an hour without talking to each other. When we see them finishing the exam in SWM, the first person they look at is each other and communicate with no words that the exam was great.

These two are just, on the same wavelengths. I had a friend in high school who, when we would talk to other people, and she'd be unsure how to say something so she'll just turn to me, communicate a whole ass concept in eye contact alone, and then I'll explain it aloud to whoever we were talking to. I am convinced James and Sirius were like that too, where they didn't even need to talk to understand each other, they just knew.

For them the answer to "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" was always "Yes" or "Now I do"

Sirius was the best man at James' wedding, Harry's godfather and he still held a special place for James, to the point Lily was very aware of it:

If you could visit, it would cheer him up so much.

(DH, 158)

I mean, I don't know of many friendships like this, where the guy's wife asks his best friend over because they were apart for too long and getting antsy. I mean, it is bizarre.

In my head, if there wasn't a war, Sirius would've probably practically moved in with James and Lily. Sure, he had his own apartment, but you'd rarely ever find him there.

During the war it was too risky, James and Lily were in hiding and Sirius was doing missions for the Order, but again, if there wasn't a war, I think Sirius and James would've still been joined at the hip way into adulthood.

Sirius is one of the only two people James would ever take cues from no questions asked. I just, love them, okay.

Head Boy and Head Girl

Now, to James' second most important relationship: Lily.

James' crush on Lily started pretty early in their school years. We know it wasn't quite a love-at-first-sight as in the meeting on the train we don't really see any of it. I would guess his crush on her started growing as he got to know her as a housemate. I think James liked how smart and talented Lily was. James considers himself the best, his best friend is also the best, a top student, handsome and popular — his crush would be the same. Lily's kindness, likeability, and intelligence were huge turn-ons for him, not just the fact she was gorgeous (but that too).

I want to talk about this quote:

then back at James, who was now doodling on a bit of scrap parchment. He had drawn a Snitch and was now tracing the letters L. E. What did they stand for?

(OotP, 642)

This is adorable. James is a romantic guy, he was doodling Lily's initials on a spare parchment. I bet he wrote out "Lily Potter" in hearts and everything. I find it hilarious and adorable and it both shows he had a crush on her, but it also shows a really dorky and romantic side that no one (of the characters we meet) mentions because they probably haven't seen it. Well, Sirius probably did, but he doesn't really get many chances to talk to Harry about James unfortunately.

Sirius mentions that they went out on dates (something Harry and Ginny don't really do), and with James doodling Lily's initials I bet they were super cheesy and romantic. He'll take her out to picnics and light candles and carve their initials in a heart on a tree.

If they lived to raise Harry, they'd be the kind of parents who had a weekly date night and left their kids with Sirius for the evening.

“I didn’t mean—I just don’t want to see you made a fool of—He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!” The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. “And he’s not. . . everyone thinks. . . big Quidditch hero—” Snape’s bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily’s eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead. “I know James Potter’s an arrogant toerag,” she said

(DH, 569)

Now, about some of the downsides of their relationship.

Yeah, James was persistent in flirting with Lily for years before she agreed to go out with him. He bullied her best friend and acted like an idiot. She considered him an "arrogant toerag" which isn't very complementary.

That being said, even when she calls him out, she still defends him to Snape in the above conversation. While Lily disapproved of James' behavior, I don't think she ever really hated him, not the way Snape did. She didn't like how he was acting, but she didn't hate him:

“Oh, well, he always made a fool of himself whenever Lily was around,” said Sirius, shrugging. “He couldn’t stop himself showing off whenever he got near her.” “How come she married him?” Harry asked miserably. “She hated him!” “Nah, she didn’t,” said Sirius. “She started going out with him in seventh year,” said Lupin. “Once James had deflated his head a bit,” said Sirius.

(OotP, 671)

I think Sirius is right about this for the reasons I mentioned above. Lily never really hated James, just thought he was an idiot (rightfully so) and once he got less arrogant, she was more willing to date him.

I think their relationship wasn't a bad one, I think they did love each other and mostly got along really well. I think Lily liked James' sense of humor after it mellowed out a bit and she liked that he's smart and talented. I think James liked Lily's calmness and intelligence and how much she cared for people.

Yeah, they probably argued about a lot of stupid things (I think they enjoyed their stupid arguments and barbs on occasion not unlike Ron and Hermione), but overall, I do like their relationship, I think they balanced each other out. James pushes Lily to allow herself to be a little silly, and Lily can put James in his place when he is being an idiot or needlessly cruel. And they are both incredibly smart and compassionate people... whenever I think about them it kinda makes me sad they didn't get to raise Harry. That Harry wouldn't have such a low view of himself, he'll probably have younger siblings, be used to having Sirius (and Remus too, to a lesser degree) around constantly, he would've been the top student in practically everything... I mean, he'd have a different set of issues, I'm sure, but, I don't know, I just made myself sad.

The fandom is pretty split on James, some talk about him as if he's some flawless sunshine child, which isn't the case. Yes, James is loyal, brave, and compassionate, but he can be cruel and ruthless and he uses arrogance as a mask for his insecurities and need to be great (I think James Potter could be a Slytherin, tbh). But on the flip side, some fans consider him nothing but a bully, and I tend to give him more credit than that. I think he was always more than that, but I believe Sirius, Remus, and Lily that he did change, and he probably would have continued to improve to become the brave and compassionate leader the stag represents if he had lived longer.

This post turned out way longer than I expected it to, but, here you go, James Potter's analysis of the top of my head.

[suhmingo]

I, uh, don’t know how to actually preface this. It’s really just a mini rant/pseudo-analysis of chapter 167. Which was pretty crazy. But, I loved this chapter, and yes I’m typing this with two hands.

But first let me try and do some housekeeping.

It’s perfectly fine to have an emotional, even visceral reaction to 167. That’s the point

If you feel grossed out, betrayed, unnerved, dumbstruck, or any form of bamboozled by today’s chapter then good! That means the emotional weight of the scene is working, and that you are a proper, feeling human. The

The whole point of fiction is to explore themes that would be difficult, even dangerous to experience from a place of safety. To me that’s, like the entire reason I ever wanted to become a writer, one of the most unsung broke boy jobs in the history of the world. My desire for Denji to get better in a world that is dead set on making him fail is the entire reason I have an emotional investment in the first place. Stories are inherently about conflict and the struggle with resolving conflict, that should make you uncomfortable.

Say what you want about Chainsaw Man. I can take it, I’m a big boy. But one thing that it has always had since Chapter one is a well-defined through line about the complexity of our innate desire to find some type of love fighting against the pain-wrought pathway that it leads us down. In a good story, every chapter should have some way of showing the highs and lows of that theme, and I’m pretty confident when I say that 167 perfectly shows us that.

It’s bad. Don’t let people who brag about their trauma tolerance tell you otherwise. You are well within your right to feel. But I think it would behoove people to 1. Realize that this is fiction, and its effects, though evocatory, are ultimately abstract, and 2. Realize that exploring dark themes allows people, especially a 16-25 (Or whatever the target audience for CSM is) to grapple with and think on human concepts as all encompassing as love.

From a writing standpoint, one chapter has escalated the tension of the entire story more than anything that has happened in Part 2 so far. It’s admittedly a bit early to call it peak. But looking at it as a simple story beat, that’s a fantastic chapter as far as the medium goes.

Listen, the whole point of stories since, like, Mesopotamian times was the tension between wanting a character to achieve happiness vs the hardships and trauma that life happens in life. They’re supposed to put you in a sensitive state emulative of a tense environment. I’d argue that the prevalence of escapist fiction and fandom has changed how we emotionally digest fiction. But that’s a whole nother essay.

The events of 167 aren’t some horny non-sequitur. Everything that happened is entirely a logical, if graven, extension of how we know characters.

Denji is at the lowest point we have ever seen him at. He was literally dismembered and put back together less than 10 chapters ago. The last chapter literally had him groveling on his knees at a cauldron’s brew of his own weakness, immaturity, stupidity, and horniness. I think we can all understand why he would not be in a good mental state to just lose himself in the moment. You can’t even blame Denji in this situation. He was in an entirely vulnerable state that was exploited entirely by

Yoru. Who is the literal embodiment of war. If you think that someone who represents the human fear of war is going to play fair. Turn on the news for five minutes. Yoru is a character we are not supposed to like. She’s fun, because she’s a work of fiction, but she’s arguably less trustworthy than Fami. She’s a violent, exploitative being who possesses a dead teenager. There is no “too far” for her if it’s the fastest way on the road to conquest. Reminder that before she caught feelings, her plan was literally just to castrate Denji because she thought that would further her goals. The fact that it turned into kissing was actually sparing a worse fate. IMO that savior was all in the actions of Asa.

Asa. I genuinely believe that, subconsciously, Asa wanted to kiss Chainsaw Man. Not like how it happened. Never like how it happened, but her desire for Denji/Chainsaw Man's affection has always been evident. She gets irreparably upset when she’s stood up, she makes cringe poetry for Chainsaw Man, and her entire goal as of now is in some misguided desire to make him happy. I also don’t think Asa is actually demisexual, or averse to sex. She is afraid of intimacy, which stops her from ever acting on her urges. Notice that both times Yoru has kissed Denji, it was after the idea of sex and intimacy was explicitly brought to the conversation. To me that screams that Yoru is spurred on by her host’s innate desires. Hell, it’s been shown that in the same way that Yoru has made Asa more proactive of a human being, Asa has made her feel emotions. I don’t think it's a coincidence that Yoru is blushing while kissing Denji. None of that was part of her plan. That’s Asa’s emotional influence getting the better of her in what I predict to be a fantastic role reversal of their initial contract.

This is thematically in line with how Chainsaw Man presents love and sets up deeper themes.



Remember way back in Part One when Denji was just an initial horndog and everybody kinda hated him? I hated Denji back then! When I first heard of Chainsaw Man I genuinely thought it was going to be a mommy-kink fuelled power fantasy. But I was wrong. Wonderfully wrong. Fujimoto used the allure of that idea in Makima to present a story about how dangerous and manipulative the very idea of grooming is, and how damaging that can be to a person. The same way Denji’s desire to get the approval of Makima was poisonous to him is mirrored in his desire for vapid, instantly gratifying sex is being portrayed here. I genuinely think this chapter is going to age like fine wine, and I am absolutely willing to take egg on my face if I’m wrong.

[three--rings]

I'm really disturbed by the fact that I'm seeing people post S2ep8 of IWTV still talking about Lestat as an abuser and Louis as a victim, period end of conversation.

Because I feel like we are explicitly told in ep7 and 8 that that is not the case but some people haven't adjusted their thoughts yet.

Now this is a show explicitly about the unreliability of personal accounts and what we see on screen is often proven not to be how things happen. So, obviously things are always up for debate. But.

We are shown the extended scene of what happened before Lestat flew Louis up into the sky to drop him. In S1 we saw that scene from Claudia's perspective, and she just heard crashing and shouting, and then saw Louis thrown through a wall by Lestat before the whole flight thing.

Ep 7 we are shown Lestat's version of events which are Louis physically and verbally attacking him over and over, slamming Lestat into things, while Lestat begs him to stop, warning him that he will fight back and he's afraid of hurting Louis, and Louis merely eggs him on. Then we get Lestat turning the tables and throwing Louis through a wall.

Now, obviously this is Lestat's version and probably a bit biased to be sympathetic to him. But Louis admits Lestat's version of Claudia's turning is the more correct one than his account and he admits to portraying Lestat intentionally as a villain in the interview, so...well I think the show is telling us that our impression from S1 is at least not the whole story.

Ep 8 underlines this with the scene with Louis and Lestat when Louis apologizes for the way he acted to Lestat in the past, saying "I tried to make nights awful with you. I wanted you to suffer."

We also see him throw Armand into the wall in this episode, which I get people feel Armand deserved, but I feel like the conversation around that has been weird as well. Like, people talk about that being a sign that Louis is stronger than Armand, as if physical violence is impossible from someone who is weaker than their victim. But this is also another instance of Louis using physical violence against his partner when (justifiably) angry.

Look, abusive relationships are complicated. Mutually toxic ones even more so. Reactive abuse is a thing, when an initial victim becomes violent or abusive in response to abuse they've received. It's complicated, and I speak from personal experience.

But I very much feel like the show is SCREAMING at the audience that things are not simple and that no one in this scenario is blameless, ESPECIALLY not Louis. He's not blameless in the case of Claudia. He's not blameless in the destruction of his relationship with Lestat. He's not blameless in his relationship with Armand, for all it's built on a lie, because he entered it to fucking make Lestat mad for god's sake and that's a terrible foundation for a relationship.

Raglan James says Louis is the one to really be afraid of. Louis at the end of the season with his "I own the night" speech. Much of the second half of S2 is ABOUT this.

The entire heartbreaking scene with Lestat at the end is Louis owning his part of the responsibility, and that's huge. Lestat accepted his responsibility and apologized on stage in Paris, and now Louis is as well.

So yeah, I think some people need to rethink their attitudes when they call Lestat Louis's abuser and Louis a battered wife. I read that and I go wait, we're not gonna interrogate that at all?

I of course feel at this point I have to put in a bunch of disclaimers about how this is not an anti-Louis post or trying to excuse the violence done by Lestat, blah blah but honestly some people who can only see things in terms of Good and Evil and Guilty and Innocent are never going to appreciate that kind of thing anyway. I just don't know why those people are watching this show, which is entirely about nuance and complicated interpersonal relations that are messy and resist easy analysis, BY DESIGN.