#this was going to be longer but then i realized that i actually dont have very much to say about this
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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forgot to post these whoops
#bonk.txt#exocolonist spoilers#pmmm spoilers#<- for exactly one of these lmao#exocolonist#teenage exocolonist#i was a teenage exocolonist#the only one of these that is like actually finished is the sol 🤝 homura one n the other two arent getting finished cause i got a new phon#so i no longer have like the files for them lmao#nomi nomi was drawn like the day before halloween i drew them cause i originally was gonna draw dys to go with them#cause their friendship means the world to me i love that dys chose to start wearing those gamer gaulets to match with nomi nomi#but this was pretty much as far as i got i changed the lineart color to purple cause it looked better but i dont have a good image of that1#the 'your parents named you' one was actually the first fanart i ever drew the original sketch of it was made like on september 16th ithink#n i worked on n off again for a week on it before deciding i didnt like it n never touched it again wait forgot to tag#undescribed#anyway the sol 🤝 homura run was drawn on october 20th cause i realized that the way i was playing the game i always maxxed out hearts with#tammy first n just generally took her side on everything n went wait a second#genuinely meant to post these a while ago after i got my new phone but forgot to asfjhejdjdj#none of these are in the same style cause im not consistent n have trouble drawing characters that arent my ocs#if u look for more than a second at sol 🤝 homura you'll notice i forgot to draw homura's other arm n i never fixed it#bonk.png
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Ummmm it doesnt matter that character ages were removed from the Sonic character profiles they do still have their old canon ages and if you think that actualllyyyyy they never acted or sounded like those ages then youre a creep looking for excuses to put them in adult situations :/
Like thats child endangerment that you're depicting there??? Why do you wanna see that blorbo of yours beaten and bloodied and traumatized??? You ACTUALLY wanna beat up kids? You freak??
And why are you drawing him driving a fucking car he should not be driving a car he's a child! And STOP drawing Shadow with guns!!! Children shouldn't have those!
And while you're at it, stop drawing art of Amy working at a bakery! Like wow what a freak you actually want to break child labor laws in real life???
I know plenty of 12 year olds that own apartments and cars of their own, so I can confirm that these characters were always ALWAYS meant to be their previously listed canon ages! If you say otherwise youre a freak!
(This is Not a serious post, for the love of god)
#Personal#Am I going thru it tonight? Yes I am! Did something become the final drop that spilled the water? YES IT DIIID. AND THE FIRST THING WASNT E#EVEN RELATED TO THIS MESS#Im fucking tired im TIRED#I dont like nsfw! Guess what I do? I dont fucking look at it#I dont go digging up some VERY SERIOUS ACCUSATIONS to throw at people instead!#Fucking separate fiction from reality do you people realize that#1- You have watered down a very dangerous word that no longer means anything#Am I seeing a serious accusation of someone or am I seeing someone thats basically going 'i dont like what they draw/write' and trying to t#turn it into a moral issue? I dont know!#And guess who that fucking benefits because it sure isnt the kids?#2- Yall are one degree of separation from evangelical purists and that one degree is the name#Because guess who else goes 'THIS IS BAD FOR THE CHILDREN' and 'THESE QUEER TERMS ARE BAD' (and not im not talking about top and bottom)#Im going fucking insane I feel like in a few years this post wont even be that much of a parody#I feel like we will indeed get a repeat of 'Stop drawing these characters doing flips off buildings or running in front of trucks! The chi#The children will be inspired to do the same!' times#And people Still wont see the parallels between themselves and very very dangerous hateful people#(And no the dangerous person isn't the one drawing your NOTP or the thing that squicks you out. Perfectly tagged for you to avoid it. But y#you wont. Because you'd rather go out of your way to upset yourself then blame that person for your upset feelings#and then harass them and act like you did the world a favor (youve done nothing youve just harassed a random person))#Can we please PLEASE go back to avoiding the type of art or writing we dont wanna see#And doing so quietly instead of forever ruining someone's life#And forever ruining words that actually used to mean something and that were actually useful in pointing out dangerous people
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Saying Goodbye to My Mask event on project sekai may have been a premonition of having my own mental health tank to the same level as Mafuyu's because well. Let's just say. The depression. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
#miko talking#well. even though i try to get help it feels like my parents sabotage me more#the only comfort is realizing my feelings and wondering about it#frankly i dont like acknowledging them bc then i feel like im not playing up to the role everyone expects of me but#i want to express it in my stuff but I've been losing my will to keep drawing and writing and i guess#this is what depression is like. i just never expected to find myself actually going through it#i thought i left that era of havingthe worst time of my life but i feel like these past few years#are definitely my most worst#i think thats one thing games like pjsk has me realizing#and why i find comfort in n25#because to me they feel like pieces of me that have been written down#idk why im ranting lol??? i just want to be honest with how i feel but i end up going back to trying to be a people pleaser#ewwwww. i hate this. in truth i dont like people all that much. neither do i like making new friends#it's crazy because I'm always saying sure! when someone asks even though i know I'm not going to feel anything from it#sorry..... but I don't care enough anymore.... maybe one day i will#but right now not really..... at least at the moment.#these friendships with followers are in truth just parasociality and i dont want it after what happened the first time#especially with how two-faced/double standards people are like#people are the worst ^^ i wish the world was a kinder place for everyone but i dont know how much longer i can keep up with this#if only people minded their own business. im not someone to be babied by people who think they know better.#what a pain (◕ᴗ◕✿)
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okay if hoshina gets promoted to captain status in another division i will literally be so sad but it would be extremely fitting if he ends up nurturing a whole batch of recruits/an entire division through his kindness.. passing on the warmth that his captain showed him when they first met.. ough
#egg boils#also my own ship brain talking in tags now but he would Absolitely visit taxhikawa base numerous times just to hang out#in the end 3rd division will always be his HOME!!!!!!!!#GAWD IMAHINE THE PINING AND YEARNING. “i miss you#oh i’m crazy. actually.#mina not realizing how empty it feels without hoshina causing up a storm in the control rooms#also i’d assume by then kafka wld be vice captain here and it’s just not the same#no hate to kafka bc i do think with ch110 they’d be a stellar team but#he’s not hoshina!!!!#and kafka is fundamentally js a different person that provides her with a diff sense of comfort#mina missing hoshina. oh wow. amazing concept to me actually. i enjoy it#WAIT LET ME CONTINUE#KAFKA SEEING HER DOWN IN THE DUMPS AND IS LIKE MINA ARE YOU EVER GOING TO CONFESS HELLO?#you are 28 now !!!!!!!!!!!!?! he is no longer in ur division u don’t get to see him daily isn’t it just so sad and then in typical kafka#fashion he kinda starts crying For her like mina 😭😭😭😭 ur crush on vice captain (oh i guess it’s captain now huh) hoshina is soo obvious#WHY DIDJT U DO ANYTHING ABIUT IT#AND MINA IS JUST HUFFING LIKE IM COMMANDER OF THIS BASE I DONT HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUY THAT????#and kafka is like But u obviously MISS HIM#AND SHES LIKE: THAT DOESNT MATTER I HAVE WORK TO DO#kafka shaking her shoulders: MINA!!!!!!!!#so he calls hoshina instead and is U need to come over NOW#and hoshina is like ???????? but he’s free????? sort of??? and he goes over. it’s like idk say 3 hours away but he Goes Anyway.#and mina is flabbergasted when he shows up and kafka is Like awesome! tell him now!#and mina is like: IM NOT READY FOR THAT???????#kafka: just wing it 😁👍#mina: KAFKA#idea bank#that’s so funny wait
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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hehehe ns gets called back again and forgets. nwb thinks this is delibarate on ns' part to wipe it all away. up until
HELPPP CHICKEN BONE STUMPS OF WINGS. you conjure such a beautiful world
#this is certainly inchresting#but i have thought about it and i am going to go a different direction#so that it parallels the uhmm. ‘canon’ story IDK USING THE WORD CANON TO DESCRIBE MY OCS IS LIKE. WHATEVER#obviously the good omens au is gonna have some changes and not 100% reflect the original story i had#but some plot beats i’ve managed to keep the same …. wayback being a fail and not fitting in anywhere#sep having to do his and fates’ and weaving’s work and having their memory wiped regularly to keep up#(only in the gomens au it’s not because of art or anything like that they just start doubting heaven in general cuz they are Tired of#working all the time and shit#also they don’t remember much of anything unlike in canon because they are no longer a weird biosupercomputer thang)#anyway other stuff. they and wayback know eachother for a long time . for most of that time they are enemies and sep is An Ass#until they fuck it up way too much and realize they dont want to hurt wayback and apologize#then it’s like yayyy semi-stable relationship ^_^#wayback introducing them to the wonders of friendship and chilling and having fun (go: introducing them to living on earth)#then there’s a . plot beat we havent really gotten to yet in the actual story#but let’s say in the gomens au it has something to do with sep leaving wayback to go back to heaven#……….#looks around#also wade uhmm. well. i shant say#cramswering
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I <3 transmasc Wendy because it adds another thing to the kid who does not know how to handle anything being thrown into everything pile but instead of a thing like dead sister it's the prospect that he kind of likes having short hair and the idea of being a guy and it still makes him feel like the world is ending until suddenly the ppl around him are just like fine with it and everything is like cool actually and he melts over that too until finally he's just a normal baby trans person and can get back to being bad at coping with his other hashtag issues again
#rat rambles#starve posting#like I do have dead serious wendy trans thoughts tm even some that actually relate to his quotes high bar I know gkfndkd#its just so fun reading him as a trans egg thats one breakdown away from being smashed#and also gives me some yummy tasty thoughts abt both wendy and abby and the inivertable fact that as time goes on the only remnant of#abby's face is going to shift and change more until it can no longer even be a reminder of what was lost#which must be a Horrifying idea to wendy even if chances are he hasn't rly internalized this concept yet#and for abby especially if you're like me and go for a more silhouette style ghost design for her youve gotta imagine how fucky it is to#watch your twin grow up and change in ways you never will#Im also a agender abby who will likely never realize believer because shes just like younger me fr#like shes low key just me as a little kid but without the anxiety disorder#anyways back to the topic of wendy genderism Im honestly surprised Ive never seen a he/him wendy hc before#Im not surprised at not finding any trans guy wendys but there rly isnt much variety in nonbinary wendys despite it being fairly common#I just like trans guy wendy cause he gives me those vibes#its the weird little girl to cringe fail trans man pipeline or smth idk#give him a couple years eventually he'll be a grimy lil freak of a teenage boy#if abby didnt die and knew abt gender stuff itd still take her 30 years minimum to even consider she might be not a girl maybe#not because she's hard in denial abt gender stuff shes just is in the classic headspace of 'well I dont Think I care so I must be cis ig'#same with my aro abby hcs but walter is super not helping#as Ive said before they are aro echo chamber besties dont try to tell them romance is real they will not believe you#hey better then whateve the fuck wendy would have to go through if one of the trans men around him offered solidarity#I would rather die than get advice from wilson are you kidding me#the only somewhat normal trans guy there is warly but hes french so it cancels out
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infuriated outraged upset boss in the building on a saturday . at the DESK on a saturday. observed and overseen . in the panopticon and i dont even have a little coffee drink
#it's not a big deal it's JUST. that this was the one time i was actually looking forward to having the desk alone all day#brought some crocheting in case it was slow#was going to alternate between Something Fun and Something Work (have to do my donations list again)#and now i can't even do sommething fun in between. because i only bring crochet on days when i have the desk alone#and it's like. we had performance reviews in august. and mine was very harsh and critical UNTIL i told him like#what a year it's been for me mental health wise and hten he was like ok well disregard all that stuff i said on the first review#but i can't. because it was so very 'lazy unmotivated not present slacking off not interested in your job' and it was a) humiliating#b) terrifying#because it's true! i dont like my job a lot of the time it's tedious! and i get frusturated easily! and some of that has to do w#my mental health. but some of it is just true#and it's humiliating to have your flaws pointed out to you by someone who has the power to fire you#like im aware of what you DID think about me before i gave you some sob story about how hard my life is#so essentially that is what you actually think. that's the important part . is what you were GOING to say#we were friends for like three years and i guess i was naive to assume that things could stay the same like#after he got the director's job#like you just can't go for drinks with a person who has the power to scold you like a child#and maybe i'm the one being pissy and immature. i know i am. i should be grateful to have a job at all#but i just do not take criticism well and so ive just realized that i can't spend any time around him longer than five minutes#without feeling infuriated and impotent and fucking WATCHED#like i'm being dramatic whatever. i'm just being dramatic. but i used to be able to relax and complain about work w this guy#and now i can't. and it's both sad and makes me anxious
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🦋
#i genuinely-- GENUINELY-- believe more ppl would understand the phrase 'acab' if they were ever present for a camp sweep.#'''bUt ThEyRe JuSt DoInG tHeIr JoBs''' okay if you can give me that excuse after seeing a swat team worth of cops#shred tents in 30°< weather while trashing clothes&blankets at 3am in riot gear#youre actually just a bad person&should probably just admit that lmao.#like its currently illegal in pdx to hand out tents on the streets. street teams are no longer allowed to hand out life saving material.#this was enacted immediately after the last cold front bc fires happened bc how the fuck else do ppl stay warm#on the streets in 20°< weather. &like i dont think ppl realize how quickly you can go thru tents on city streets#SPECIFICALLY bc cops shred tents during camp sweeps. this is yet another in a continued line of laws passed#that-- to anyone who is willing to put in ANY EFFORT AT ALL-- are very obviously angled to kill homeless ppl.#&i really think that if more ppl saw the actual reality of what this all looks like together theyd at the very least#be embarassed if not ashamed to try to defend the pigs&their job which is literally to harm ppl lmao.#tell me theyre just doing their jobs after watching a team of them demolish everything a family has in the world.#there will for sure be officers laughing&physically+verbally abusing the ppl there. that will for sure be happening#bc i cannot stress enough that to do the fucking job in general you have to be a bad person willing to do heinous things.#but are the ones NOT doing that any better lmao? can you genuinely tell me theyre any better or feel any form of pity#as they do the exact same job as the awful ppl around them they just dont laugh or go even further while they do it?#its still legal in most states in the usa for cops to fuck fs street workers to prove theyre swers then arrest them after bc pRoOf lmao.#can you GENUINELY look me in the eye&tell me those cops are better than the ones that outright rape swers once theyre in custody?#i just. i just cant stand ppl who hold horrible beliefs wont further examine them at all&STILL need to be reassured#that theyre good ppl lmao. just be a bad person are you fucking serious why bother bending&breaking to deny it.#just like famous nepo babies crying about 'my mommy+daddy just FUNDED&CONNECTED me i wasnt GIVEN success :('#so you not only get to have EVERYTHING on a silver platter you also NEED to be assured that this wasnt what happened??? NO.
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#i know people liked the sequel to the last of us#but i didn't#and i kinda wanna write a fix it fic to make it more interesting#instead of a long drawn out revenge story#make it a short story about Joel having to face the fact that he's left some people feeling broken like he once did#but also by making the doctor an actual bad person so abby has to realize that shes trying to avenge a fake idealistic version of her dad#pose the question of#is the pain joel left behind for the families worse then the murder being committed by the doctor on innocent children#cus you cant tell me he hasnt killed children before trying to find an answer#he didnt try to go into ellies brain without first having tried it on non immune children to see if there was an answer#and it makes Ellie have to learn what Joel did but with him by her side so#they have to realize that Joel shouldnt have lied to her but so comming to terms with it#beacuse ultimately unlike everyone else who was trying to get her there#Joel was the only person who refused to leave and let her die on that table#the revenge is bad story isnt engaging#i wanna fix it#also it aint gonna be 5 years in the future cus the longer it goes on the more impossible it would be for abby to find him#also joels not gonna die beacuse i dont write main charector deaths for shock value#its still gonna be a reader fic tho cus i have an interesting idea for what part you play in this story that acts as a balance#betwen Joel and Abby#also cus I wanna kiss Pedro!Joel and no one can stop me#it wont be a long story#I don't think the story abould have been very long like in the game cus it should be a smaller more personal tale#rather then a grand adventure of bloodthirsty vengeance
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a source of angst, drama, and character study that ime is sorely underexplored is haru's willingness to forgive her Objectively Horrific father but not akechi. I have takes on it.
#☢️.txt#the overall take is 'trauma is complicated and sometimes its just like this'#but i do think the longer haru is removed from being an abused teenager the more she realizes#oh. that was actually that bad. it was even more horrific than i processed at the time.#i also think she gets a better understanding of just how exploitative and awful her father's business practices were#as she becomes more involved with the business herself + starts founding her own cafes#to be clear i dont think she forgives akechi or necessarily *should* so much as i think its interesting#i also just want her to have to confront the idea that a lot of people are glad her father died. and its for reasons#that are just as legitimate as the reasons she was devastated. because of the Complexity there#smth smth the haru vs akechi vs yusuke approach to having an awful father#haru's desperation to restore a dad she lost. akechi wanting to destroy shido at all costs while craving shreds of 'affection'.#yusuke going from blind rage at madarame to quietly believing that he did love him. it wasnt all a lie.#akechi finds both of their views very upsetting! because he's physically incapable of not taking things personally.#but part of it is also that. they have *some* reason to believe those things. their dads sucked and akechi does think they deserved to die!#but apparently okumura was a decent father once upon a time. apparently madarame wasnt always terrible.#akechi doesnt have that because he knows damn well theres nothing in shido's words. everyone knows what shido thought of akechi.#anyways. some day maybe ill write this!#roz hcs
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no idea why but for some reason i feel like the next episode of dr who's gonna be one i'll especially want to be caught up for? again no clue why i feel that way since i'm currently behind - it's not even like i've seen the teaser for it yet or anything - but fwiw the last time i had that feeling was before fugitive of the judoon, and love or hate that episode i'd say i was right about needing to experience it in real time. i've never been one to care about spoilers much but i do very clearly remember making a point of staying off dr who related internet spaces until i got home from work the day that one dropped (and having any feelings that remind me of pre-pandemic 2020 is already a trip in itself wow) & i kinda think im about to wind up doing the same this weekend (since i already know im not gonna be able to watch it right away)
#i will however try to catch up now so im at the right point to watch it soon as i do get a chance (& thus return here)#oh & i should state for the record i am not one of the people who thinks jonathan groff is gonna be playing jack somehow#(i realize that could sound like the implication given the otherwise very random comparison i just made. trust me i meant it to be random)#to be honest i would love to see his character be something like the one jamie parker voiced in plight of the pimpernel#(i mean if it has to be like anything we've seen before that is. which of course it doesnt)#again i have zero reasoning for this#i mean aside from simply having enjoyed that audio#but who knows perhaps once i catch up to where rogue actually falls in the season i'll have taken that back#it was a rather dark twist i could easily see it not being appropriate to drop in the middle of just any old season#depending on what the vibes of the surrounding episodes are i mean#i get the sense the most recent one was about racism no?#so for all i know maybe now is actually the time for a lighter one#still cant believe how far into this season we are#then again i cant get used to these short seasons anyway & i dont intend to either#8 episodes is honestly disgraceful it does NOT get credit just for being longer than flux#at least that had an excuse#anyway on the off chance anyone's been wondering - this is why i've not been posting much about current who lately#i've been too busy to keep up but hopefully that changes this week#the david tennant specials i also watched far after the fact & never bothered to formally comment on them#i think i may have thoughts on the first & last ones typed up in my drafts somewhere but im p sure we're done discoursing about those#so i was planning on just letting it go for now anyway#we'll see
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vent post and tags below the cut don't open if you don't want to hear this cat's woes
remembering the time my ex friend, a trans person, was consistently misgendering Kris from deltarune despite me telling them that Kris is NB and uses neutral pronouns and only changed their tune after they presumably looked it up themselves is really making me Think and Ponder rn
not worried about this unnamed person finding this either because they don't use tumblr to my knowledge and if they do they don't know my handle
further info in tags for anyone who feels like listening lolol
#i think that person im referring to never actually saw me as my gender either#because the way they disrespected kris. right in front of my face. made me think that that's how they see me#i dont mean to vent on main but guys this friendship screwed me up so bad lmfao#tw venting for next tags#this person was very toxic and consistently avoided communication about anything negative ever#it was always 'if you talk about something i did wrong i will leave but you're expected to take it if i bring up one of your flaws'#and on top of that we had multiple breaks in our friendship that came about for one of two reasons#1 because i brought up a flaw of theirs in a gentle way (hey this bugs me please try to change) and they didn't like that#or 2 you have this flaw and instead of communicating clearly how you can improve im going to block you for months on end#the last break was almost a full year long if not longer#and i thought they genuinely changed and had become better#but after realizing that they hadnt because they blocked me after i brought up a very objectively minor thing that irked me#it really hurt because i thought this person whom id been on and off friends with for 3 years now had improved#and i was so proud of them and then they proved me wrong by doing exactly the same thing that they'd done to hurt many times by then#moral of the story: when someone tells you who they are#listen to them.
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Fuck
#so i work at a summer camp halfway across the country from where i live#and i dont drive so im looking into buses and trains to my destination#this is the worst. the cost isnt terrible#train is a little more expensive and a little longer than the bus so ill probs go bus#and ive taken a long distance bus before. not this long. but still#its only like $150 whoch is actually fantastic#but its over thirty hours at the fastest??!?!!!!!?????#over thirty hours. in a bus/bus station. over thirty#the specific one im looking at it 36 hours#thats a day and a half of bus travel#thats fucking wild#i remember my first time i had to get on the bus at midnight. terrible. and i was on meds that dropped my blood pressure#but i didbt realize that was the effect so i was just suffering and dying on a bus not knowing what was wrong#until i bought some cheesy fries and they fixed me. i still didnt know what was wrong i just ended up eating a lot of salt that trip#id like to say that i was in high school and on a lot of new meds so we have to forgive me#im actually do excited for some more long distance travel where i dont have to drive. but god 36 hours. or 57!!#the longest one was 57 hours!! i might as well just walk at that point!!#i get bored on a 30 minute drive. i used to hste driving twenty minutes to and from my job#maybe itll be better on a bus?#but god. thats so long. at least its fairly cheap. $143 for cross country travel. thats a steal
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Alright I cracked and made a playlist for my very early stage concepts for an oni role swap au time to give Jackie some more songs that make her look just oh so pathetic (because she is)
#rat rambles#oni posting#also sorry for being dead Ive been having a Rough time but lets not go into that#but yeah Im still brain storming for the rabbit and raccoon universes but main swap au aka rat uni is coming together more so#jackie as the printing pod realizing that this shitty pathetic weirdo who keeps acting like theyre the main character was in fact her#and that not only was her entire tantrum meaningless but that she wasnt even effecting olivia as much as she thought she was#and that even olivia's final betrayal wasnt even targeted. jackie was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.#meanwhile I get to give olivia a fun identity crisis spiral that slowly but surely snowballs Way out of hand#her ass is not imune to the allure of progress#Ill give her some credit though it took her WAY longer to kill and kidnap ppl than jackie did#not that thats saying That much tho since jackie never actually tried to murder someone as far as we know#she could have but thats not smth we can know for sure since we dont know what happened to nikola#but yeah Im having fun with this au and as far as my concepts for the other two universes I have my basic jackie concepts but Im not quite#sold on my olivia ones since theyre a bit harder to work with due to the nature of my jackie concepts#basically I dont want the two to feel too basic ig? or more so too samey to their main universe counterparts#idk Ill figure it out eventually Im just trying to distract myself rn
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