#this was going to be longer but then i realized that i actually dont have very much to say about this

[oh-no-its-bird]

Yeah that sounds about right

Actually now I need Kaveh and Tsunade to interact solely so they can be blonde broke bitches together. I think Kaveh would be SO judgy about her gambling habits, it'd be funny

Blonde broke bitch alliance,,,

Ok actually yk what? I wanna see Kaveh accidentally kidnapping Naruto.

He's stuck in naruto land for some reason, but is kinda sticking to being on the road— looking for a way back home, or at least something hinting towards it. Uzushio sounds like a good place to investigate, with rumors of ancient seals and all that, so he's probably aiming for there.

And along the way yk, hes totally interested in the culture and architecture of this new strange land, so he's putting conscious effort into learning about things (and clans)

So he visits Kohona for a couple days, intending to hit the road soon after, and during his time there he finds Naruto and he's like struck by this sad poor little meow meow orphan and is like, "oh man you poor baby,,, come with me we can travel together on the road and I will take care of u,,"

And so Kaveh just kinda picks up Naruto, and Naruto is like, starry eyed and at the height of "I will imprint on anyone who so much as looks at me for longer than 5 seconds without disgust in their eyes" (let's say he's like. 6 or 7. Idk.) And ofc goes along with it

Naruto is like "I'm gonna be Hokage one day, believe it!"

And Kaveh is like "I dont know what that means but hell yeah kid! Chase ur dreams!"

And instantly Naruto is like "🥺 do u mean it"

And Kaveh is like "???? Uhh yeah, sure"

And Naruto is like "I changed my mind. When I grow up I am going to be ur architecture assistant and we will be family forever and build a big house for us and all of our friends to live in and—"

(Bonus points if Naruto sees Kaveh is a blonde and starts kind of wistfully daydreaming about them being blood relatives at some point)

So, yk, Kaveh entered the city as a civillian and they did the basic checks and he sees fine, so there's not much scrutiny on him. This is also during peace time so security isn't as crazy high as it might have been literally any other year he could visit. The fact that he's very obviously not a shinobi totally helps

So there isnt anyone really watching Kaveh?

And also security on Naruto is embaressingly weak, as evidenced by that time he broke into the hokage tower. So Kaveh leaves the village, and when Naruto tries to follow him— no one actually notices

I'm thinking. Kaveh left the village through proper channels, told Naruto he'd come back maybe. But Naruto was like "oh no my only friend is leaving and will NEVER come back :(" and decided to just. Follow him.

And when Kaveh notices him, Naruto begs to come with him. And hes already packed all his most important belongings too!! (It's an embaressingly small collection of things. And half of it is just packets of instant noodles)

Its the sad collection of 'all his worldly posessions' that especially hits Kaveh like a truck, and after a bit of deliberating hes like. Fuck it. You're a no one orphan and people in that village are SHIT. They won't even notice ur gone, and I can give u a better life. Come on kid, let's go to Uzushio together

And Naruto loses his mind celebrating and they set off into the sun hand in hand....how beautiful...

Meanwhile back in Kohona someone realizes Naruto is gone and the collective upper ranks of people lose their goddamn shit

THEY LOST THE FUCKING KYUUBI JINCHURIKI !!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The fact that Naruto left of his own free will makes investigating who "took" him so much harder, but Kaveh was probably seen in his company multiple times by more than a few people (but disregarded as not a threat) so they eventually narrow it down to him. But like. It takes an alarming amount of investigation, unfortunatley

But like uhh. Kaveh and Naruto road trip to Uzushio,,, they are both learning about the Uzumaki clan together, having this great adventure exploring the shinobi world from the POV of civillians. Kaveh is teaching Naruto math and art and writing and reciting all this poetry n shit from the academy, and just in general giving him an honestly really good education. He's teaching Naruto the tools he needs to be an architect, since Naruto seems to be interested in it

(And then when they get to Uzushio they can maybe also have fun dissecting Uzu architecture and how seals interacted with it,,,)

They also have, just, NO fucking clue about the political disaster they've created. Both of them think Naruto is a nobody orphan and that legit no one will notice he's gone.

They are living in their fluffy found family road trip arc while they leave a massive fucking bonfire behind them.

Because of some sort of convolouted reason (possibly relating to how Kaveh's vision interacts with chakra maybe(?)) It is actually really hard to track them (don't think ab it too hard)

So Konoha is also freaking out bc they !! can't !! Find them !!!! This Kaveh guy must be an evil mastermind of some sort...this is awful...this is so fucked up...

Meanwhile, Kaveh is like half a mile from the konoha team sent to hunt him down and blissfully unaware of the looming danger as he uses his last dollar to buy Naruto some pork buns

Honestly I just want to see this kind of slapstick comedy of the anbu team continuously running into road blocks and coincidental decoys. And they keep going "holy shit this Kaveh guy is a mastermind, hes 5 steps ahead of us, this is so fucked up hes so dangerous" while Kaveh just. Has NO idea any of that is even happening. He and Naruto are living in their own little world rn

Konoha is also officially in a lose-lose situation bc there is little to no way to separate Naruto from Kaveh without irriversably damaging something.

God fucking help them if they try to kill Kaveh to get Naruto back— and understandable move on their part, with what little they know, but probably the WORST thing they could do here

Bad ending where they finally catch them and either kill or nearly kill Kaveh (which also, from Naruto and Kaveh's POV, comes out of FUCKING NOWHERE) and Naruto freaks the fuck out and goes full jinchuriki on them bc thats like. His older brother / dad figure who's basically adopted him at this point. And they just KILLED HIM !!!

They drag Naruto back to Konoha and try to "de-program" him from Kaveh's "brainwashing" but its too late and Naruto is officially deeply fucked up and traumatized by this entire thing.

By the time anyone even realizes the misunderstanding they can't fucking admit it because "sorry we accidentally killed that civillian u imprinted on, we probably should have just asked nicely for you back but I guess that was an oopsy teehee on us" sounds SO bad when ur trying to brainwash a kid into being loyal to the village again.

So literally their only choice is to just double down and commit to "no he was evil and we saved you from him" in the hopes that if they say it enough, Naruto will believe it

Thats the bad ending tho. Maybe Kaveh survived, who knows

Angry momma bear Kaveh coming back for his fucking kid ,,,,

Could a dendro vision be mistaken for mokuton? That could be fun to play with also ,,

Anyways ummm. I kind of also wanna see Kaveh adopting Gaara now too in his adventures, could be fun

Could be even funner if we continue the trend of "Kaveh keeps "kidnapping" important children without realizing they're important"

They go to Suna and Naruto runs into Gaara and they do the "Woah... ur just like me..." thing.

Then they get to talking and Naruto starts to share about everyone hated him but then he met Kaveh, who's special and taught him what a real family was like !!! And now they travel together and Naruto is so happy !!!

And Gaara hears "I have this special man who taught me what real love is like" and goes "Hm. Share perhaps?"

Long story short: Kaveh begins to be stalked by a creepy little 7 year old that everyone seems inexplicably terrified by. Which, like, look. He gets that the kid is weird but come on guys

Kaveh continues to be unimpressed by people in this world, smh

Naruto and Kaveh leave and Gaara trails after them and Kaveh is like "kid, I can't take you with me. You HAVE a family, you mentioned this to me already"

And Gaara is like, "teach me how to love or I will rend the flesh from your bones"

And Kaveh is like "Jesus fucking christ. First lesson on love: we do NOT threaten bodily harm on people we love, got that?"

And Gaara nods as internally he's going, wow I'm learning so much already

Kaveh, Naruto and Gaara road trip ,,, what could go wrong?

Kaveh continues to treat both Naruto and Gaara like the children they are, which blows both of their minds just a little bit. Especially Gaara, who had never had a normal human interaction in his life and is totally buying what Naruto said about Kaveh being "special"

Meanwhile, obviously, Suna is going fucking insane because they just LOST THEIR JINCHURIKI. you know, the KAZEKAGE'S CHILD?????

Gaara fully intends to go home. Eventually. Hes just gonna try and learn about this love thing first. His uncle will be very proud of how proactive he's being, he's sure

(Idk when his uncle was supposed to try and assassinate him and die bc of it, but for the sake of this timeline we are saying literally the same day Gaara fucked off with Kaveh. Unfortunate! Or fortunate, I guess)

On that note actually, Kaveh taking Naruto totally derailed the Uchiha Massacre btw. It was supposed to happen soonish, but the huge roar at the jinchuriki's dissapearence was a big enough diversion to put it on pause. Don't think ab it too hard, idk

Itachi ends up being part of the squad hunting Kaveh (team ro noises) and in the end, the Uchiha pull their coup when he's not looking and oops! They own the village now. Get fucked. Thanks Kaveh.

Anyways.

Kaveh starts complaining about how broke he is and how the kids are eating up his meager savings, and Gaara kinda goes "you should have mentioned this before. I could have taken something from father's treasury to help."

Kaveh, for the very first time: "did I... take the child of someone important...?"

Konoha and Suna join hands to try and hunt down the man who stole their jinchuriki's,,, alliance most ever ,,,

Idk where this is really going from here but just. Kaveh, Naruto and Gaara road trip. They still need to go to Uzushio. Learn some Uzumaki lore together, maybe unlock the secret of some ancient seals or two, idk

Kaveh eventually finds out these kids have literal actual demons in them and has to deal with that. But for a solid 90% of this he is none the wiser and thinks his kids are kind of freaks but overall harmless. No one tell him.

Doesn't Cyno have some sort of demon thing going for him? I really don't know much about him but I feel like I've heard that somewhere? But like, if he does, Kaveh potentially being somewhat normal ab the idea of demon possession or whatever

Tevat has some WILD shit in it, and Kaveh is a trooper. A loud, dramatic trooper who will lose his mind about the fact his kids were secretly vessels for demons the whole time, but a trooper

Kaveh and Kurama + Shukaku interactions,,,,, I need to see it ,,

Kaveh somehow interacts w Shukaku and his fear of a demon is overrided by motherly rage and they end up getting into a screaming match over parental rights over Gaara

Yk,, if theyre going to Uzu,, Kaveh somehow helping release the biiju anybody? Anybody? Could be fun.

Kaveh is such a genuinley good guy, this man is perpetually broke bc he keeps giving people passes on paying him for his work at every sob story (among other things, ofc)

I feel like if he learned the story of the biiju and had proper motivation + a method to free them, hed just do it. He'd just go for it. Hes a king like that. In Kaveh we stan.

Uhhh, as always, I have a couple more vague thoughts but I've been typing on and off as I work so a lot are escaping me. So Ill leave it here for now

Thank u thybirb for the jumping off point !! Ig I just needed smthn to kick the brain worms into gear.

Kaveh in Naruto,,, my beloved,,

I want to think about Kaveh (genshin impact) in Naruto but I haven't touched Genshin for longer than an hour in over a year now. I never even officially met Kaveh, I never hit his quests. So Idk if I can do him justice

But like, ,,, ough,,, Kaveh in Naruto ,,,, my babygirl most ever,,,

[spaciebabie]

at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!

[pup-pee]

hi this is a post saying i will not b online((or try)) until i get my g.e.d.

i love u all if i uh, yk never return

hugs hugs many sweet dreams & good mornings!

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[tommygotwrittenoff]

sooooo fucked up that eddie and buck are not kissing rn. instead they have to go through more horrors. and they dont even have the option to kiss each other to make it better. fr praying for them. you will be kissing soon kings!!!

[sege-h]

Ummmm it doesnt matter that character ages were removed from the Sonic character profiles they do still have their old canon ages and if you think that actualllyyyyy they never acted or sounded like those ages then youre a creep looking for excuses to put them in adult situations :/ Like thats child endangerment that you're depicting there??? Why do you wanna see that blorbo of yours beaten and bloodied and traumatized??? You ACTUALLY wanna beat up kids? You freak??

And why are you drawing him driving a fucking car he should not be driving a car he's a child! And STOP drawing Shadow with guns!!! Children shouldn't have those!

And while you're at it, stop drawing art of Amy working at a bakery! Like wow what a freak you actually want to break child labor laws in real life???

I know plenty of 12 year olds that own apartments and cars of their own, so I can confirm that these characters were always ALWAYS meant to be their previously listed canon ages! If you say otherwise youre a freak!

(This is Not a serious post, for the love of god)

[yuunnikko]

Saying Goodbye to My Mask event on project sekai may have been a premonition of having my own mental health tank to the same level as Mafuyu's because well. Let's just say. The depression. (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

[narugen]

okay if hoshina gets promoted to captain status in another division i will literally be so sad but it would be extremely fitting if he ends up nurturing a whole batch of recruits/an entire division through his kindness.. passing on the warmth that his captain showed him when they first met.. ough

[our-lady-of-mcr]

everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

[simcardiac-arrested]

hehehe ns gets called back again and forgets. nwb thinks this is delibarate on ns' part to wipe it all away. up until

HELPPP CHICKEN BONE STUMPS OF WINGS. you conjure such a beautiful world

[arolesbianism]

I <3 transmasc Wendy because it adds another thing to the kid who does not know how to handle anything being thrown into everything pile but instead of a thing like dead sister it's the prospect that he kind of likes having short hair and the idea of being a guy and it still makes him feel like the world is ending until suddenly the ppl around him are just like fine with it and everything is like cool actually and he melts over that too until finally he's just a normal baby trans person and can get back to being bad at coping with his other hashtag issues again

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[bitchkay]

It's either being able to drive or having a job

Somehow you can't have both

[the-gay-prometheus]

.

[235uranium]

a source of angst, drama, and character study that ime is sorely underexplored is haru's willingness to forgive her Objectively Horrific father but not akechi. I have takes on it.

[galacticlamps]

no idea why but for some reason i feel like the next episode of dr who's gonna be one i'll especially want to be caught up for? again no clue why i feel that way since i'm currently behind - it's not even like i've seen the teaser for it yet or anything - but fwiw the last time i had that feeling was before fugitive of the judoon, and love or hate that episode i'd say i was right about needing to experience it in real time. i've never been one to care about spoilers much but i do very clearly remember making a point of staying off dr who related internet spaces until i got home from work the day that one dropped (and having any feelings that remind me of pre-pandemic 2020 is already a trip in itself wow) & i kinda think im about to wind up doing the same this weekend (since i already know im not gonna be able to watch it right away)