#this was extremely fun to write!
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ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A KNIGHT...
the visual inspiration for this was a combination of Frederic William Burton's Meeting on the Turret Stairs and also Bernardo Cavallino's The vision of St. Dominic receiving the Rosary from the Virgin
this was supposed to be just a one off illustration to get the thoughts out of my system, but then I started thinking about medieval politics and warfare and plagues and a castle and home as both a place of refuge, a prison, and a tomb, so perhaps they will end up as ex voto characters as well.
you may say, hey! that rosary looks like it has too many beads! it's a fifteen decade rosary, probably. dominicans are really into marian devotions. it works out.
also. spiral style stair cases. oh boy. it was that unexpectedly more difficult than I originally thought it would be to draw. the more I think about it, the less I understand them, even though I had a million photos of the stairs in front of me while I was drawing it.
â I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!
â and other places Iâm at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
#the economy and my bank account are in shambles and i ended up stress drawing this whole thing in one go#its so many lines. the next time i draw this. because i will be revisiting this composition. i want to use a different inking brush#i think. but the next time i draw this it will be with solid blacks on the stair case steps i think#hey here's a fun fact for those of you who aren't catholic. did you know that kissing the ring of the pope/a cardinal/etc#grants you an indulgence. cardinals also used to kiss the pope on the mouth. also foot and hand iirc. anyway#there are no cardinals in this drawing but im saying if you write medieval/renaissance smut about men of the cloth#you can really amp up the friction between holy and seductive with a lot of the (gestures vaguely) that.#actually another fun fact about cardinals. their fun sun hat (it's called a galero) has some fucking weird as hell fever dream (literally)#origin lore. so if seductive isn't your thing. the horror of a thing that you wear is also extremely fun#esp when you get into medieval gender performances of clothes and how they define a person etc#generic medieval tag#original tag
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little dove.
a short comic about Ash and Snow's first meeting / how Snow got her nickname.
Snow's story
Ashâs story
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notes:
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all my other comics
store
#cw: animal death#cw: blood#i think after this ash goes back home and finds herself thinking of snow more and more#while snow returns to her own kingdom and forgets much of this encounter until ash reaches some renown as a monster with a blade#after which snow becomes extremely fixated on her and remembers her as the girl who watched her bury a dead bird in a flowerbed#lesbian first dates be like#anyway#i like the irony of snow's nickname being little dove seeing as how shes not exactly a very peaceful person#although she may seem like it on the surface#shes kind of difficult to write too. ive gotta balance her veil of innocence with genuine sincerity#the fact that she believes her own delusions is what makes her such a fun character#one day ill move on from these characters but i love my homicidal daughters very much#thank you for reading#sapphic art#comic art#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics#heartearters
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has anyone considered that agatha may have continued murdering witches because it was her only way to see rio
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#might write a fic on this#headcannon#rio vidal#we love delusions#NOT trying to romanticise murder here but it is extremely in character#after sheâs drained the next witches powers#she just sits back and waits for her wife to return#and everytime rio is met with that smug smile and fallen head over heels for her eyes#ugh#rio is like âreally sweetie this is becoming a bit of a problem nowâ#also Iâm not trying to make this all about their romance itâs just a bit of fun#i know the real reason is more rich and intricate and works better
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a couple of doodles for my Roz x Vontra fic and cover ideas for said fic. i chose to use the texture of the brush to help with the "shading" in the mini illustrations but now that i'm seeing it here on tumblr the image quality brings it down lole. Haven't been drawing them too much but it's just because I keep writing for them, ha...
#the wild robot#roz#vontra#roz x vontra#the fic is on ao3 if you want to read it but its rated M so yeah dldr#i am extremely rusty (heh) with writing but this has been rly fun
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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"I will never read x reader it's just weird and they're always badly written" OKAY WELL NOT ME!!! GIVE ME ALL THE X READERS!!!!!! ME AND ALL MY FAVES ARE KISSING FOREVER
#ok but really if you don't like x reader it's ok#but to say they're poorly written#is just not true lol#there's so many x reader fics that are made by extremely talented writers#I have read soooo many amazing ones#I keep seeing videos on tt shitting on x reader#and I'm just like#ok...... more for meeee....#I think x reader fics just get too much unnecessary hate in general#and although they can definitely be for fun and it's amazing to write something and just have fun with ur faves#they can also have passion put into them#and they're just as valid as ship fics
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⥠- THE PLAYER CHARACTER: VANIDA, THE IDOL || THE MONSTER - âĄ
An in-depth bullet point list, regarding the lore of my PC
Full government name is Vanida Thompson
Born from an ongoing sexual affair between her mother who was an unnamed sex worker & her father, an infamous underground fighter / thug
Her father & Bailey grew up in the Orphanage together and were childhood friends ( & maybe more ); before her father was arrested for killing her mother when she was only 3yrs of age
Vanida has no idea who her parents are, and her father's connection with Bailey
Originally, was someone very sweet. A bit clumsy in her execution, but was someone very earnest and determined. Never wanted to exclude anyone and tried becoming friends with everyone.
Had a big baby crush on Sydney that helped her power through horrors ( unknown to Sydney who was still in the closet ), but also made her spiral more when things kept getting worse ( "An angel like her would never date someone filthy like me." )
Thought Avery was into her at first, and was very excited about being noticed by her until she realized that Avery bought her from Bailey
Used to work vigorously at the Cafe until she passed out, got recommended for therapy by Harper. Never went to a single appointment because she kept forgetting due to work. She never misses a single payment!!
Lost her virginity to the nun at the Temple when she was trying to get lichen for the Science Fair. Now, she hates the Temple with a burning passion and thinks they are the worst
Kept getting assaulted so much, that she succumbed for a bit; becoming a sex worker at the Brothel since "might as well make money off of it"
Went through a 2 year phase of anger and apathy. Would let anyone date her, or sleep with her. ( Which HC Whitney then dated after; cause we love gay girls who try to be close with the girl they like by taking their 'things' )
Her relationship with Whitney started the night they had one night stand at the Pub, when Vanida was trying to score clients. Got claimed as Whitney's girlfriend the next day. She didn't think Whitney was serious about their relationship until Whitney showed up to the Orphanage and pulled a gun on Bailey in the winter of their third high school year. ( Vanida also earned a gun kink )
Is now Whitney's number 1 ride or die. Wanting to please her so much, while also wanting to take a page from her book on riding the chaos, that Vanida changed her whole look & personality ( sorta ) (( this is how we got Vanida of today ))
Presents herself now as someone very chatty & sociable. Charming and almost ditzy-like with how she giggles and smiles to make people like her. She still is writhing and rolling around in her hatred and anger under her mask. She hates, or resents, almost everyone. Has become someone extremely mean-spirited.
Decided to use her body for something more productive, and that's by using her sex to have almost the entire town at her beck & call. Most will do anything to just have a chance with her, and Vanida takes full abuse of it. Her demonic transformation really helps with this.
Sees all relationships as transactional & only develops bonds that she thinks will provide use for her ( either socially, or protection ). As a result, it is almost near impossible for Vanida to cultivate a normal, healthy bond with others that is genuine.
The only ones she has a semi-normal bond is Bailey and Niki, because they both are upfront with their intentions with her, and don't seek her out sexually.
HC that she gets into a lot of yelling fights with Bailey, resulting in getting her ass beat by him. It's how they father-daughter bond
Loves going to 'parties' with Avery, because the more secrets she knows, the more she can use them for her own benefit. Knowledge is power âĄ
A top student, with big popularity. The town calls her Venus, the criminal underground call her Sabre
A hedonist
The Underground Farm has tried kidnapping her, but she always manages to escape somehow. Remy just admit you're obsessed with her-/j
Her end goal is to have total control of the entire town for the sole reason to humiliate everyone in power for letting a "slut" have power over them. Bailey is somehow spared in this plan because Vanida has a soft spot for him, because he was the only person to check on her when she'd crash out in early gameplay. Even if all he did was yell at her.
And that's all ( i think ) regarding Vanida, my PC! Thank you for reading! âĄ
#. // ⥠đ± art#dol#degrees of lewdity#dol pc#pc#vanida the idol#. // ⥠đ± txt#felt like talking about vani#i feel like not a lot of people know who she is as a character so i wanted to help clear it up!#she's my very rightfully mean girl who is extremely fake and a liar#but we support womens rights and wrongs#i love her sm#she's so fun to explore and write about#i hope people read this and end up liking her as much as i do#which!! if anyone has a question more about her that i didn't clarify please feel free to ask#anyway its bed time for me lmao
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Bedtime Stories For a Demon, Night 5: The Shoes That Were Danced To Pieces (Lucanis x Rook Fanfic)
The streets of Treviso are eerily silent tonight. As if the city itself has become the quiet before the storm.
Madeleina Mercar and Lucanis Dellamorte weave in and out of abandoned buildings and leap between rooftops, two shifting black dots in a dark landscape. They move quickly, and with purpose.
Earlier that night, a letter had come through from Viago.
One of his Crows had captured a Venatori spy, caught lurking about the Drowned District. The unlucky cultist was dragged into the den of the Fifth Talon, and like one of Viagoâs snakes, had been milked for every last drop of usefulness they could provide.
âHowâd they get him to talk?â Madeleina asked, as she scanned the contents of Viagoâs missive by flickering candlelight. âI canât imagine the Venatori spill their secrets easilyâ
âViago has his ways.â
Why did he have to name his truth serum Pillow Talk.
â⊠Letâs just say he can be very persuasiveâ
Madeleina looked up from the letter and quirked an eyebrow. She was clearly expecting more details, but when he remained silent, she dropped it.
âThe specifics donât matterâ Lucanis gently pried the letter from her hands and set it on the nearby table. âWhat matters is we have a location. Viago has his Crows watching the Venatori. Weâll move when youâre readyâ
She grinned, âNo time like the present â letâs goâ
Weâll make her pay, for everything she did to you. Side by side. I swear it.
Her words hang in front of him like a beacon lighting the path to the Chantry. When he turns them over in his head again, the undercurrents of Spiteâs glee reverberate through his body. It sends a shiver down his spine.
Her Heart. On Our Knife. Rookâs lightning. At Our backs. A cackle echoes in his head. The Witch. Dies today.
Tonight, he would have his revenge. For himself. For Spite. And for Caterina.
For a moment, heâs back to the Ossuary. His hands and legs chained down to the stone slab beneath him. He remembers the chafing of the metal cuffs around his wrists and ankles, the skin red and raw. Remembers the hunger. The fear. He was too tired to struggle against the bindings. His objective shifted from escape to survive soon after arriving.
âFrom flying vermin to malicious spirit. Thatâs quite the promotion, isnât it, Master Dellamorte?â Zara pinched his cheek with a long, slender finger. It took every ounce of discipline he had not to recoil at her cold touch. Her full, red lips pulled back in a sneer. He could smell her sickly-sweet perfume as she leaned in. It turned his empty stomach.
âWell, then. Letâs make a real Demon out of you, hm?â
âAre you sure youâre ready for this?â Madeleina calls over her shoulder, pulling him out of the past. She is already half-way up the ladder to the overhang above them when she realizes Lucanis isnât following. Pausing on the rungs, she cranes her neck to look back at him, âFacing Zara, I meanâ
He lifts his gaze to meet hers. Tries to keep maintain eye contact instead of staring elsewhere.
âI lost a year of my life to that Venatori Witchâ He begins, before climbing up himself. âI owe her for thatâ
They both reach the overhang and squeeze out of a broken window on the top floor of the warehouse. The two land soundlessly on the side-roof jutting from just below the window sill. Just one more rooftop until they reach the Chantry.
As Lucanis follows Rookâs careful steps, he remembers his dissatisfaction at traversing the rooftops in Vyrantium a year ago. The harsh slopes and rounded clay tiles made a poor foothold even for his perfectly cobbled boots. But the rooftops of Treviso are flatter, the inclines less harsh, and made of interlocking shingles rather than layered tiles. Very friendly for a Crow looking to sneak around. All of Treviso, with its dark, narrow streets, high vantage points, and closely connected rooftops, was practically designed for them. A Crowâs nest made a city.
Madeleina jumps down from the side-roof and onto a balcony overlooking the Chantry courtyard. He watches her come to rigid halt a few steps ahead of him. He can just barely make out another figure in the darkness.
Illario?
Lucanis wastes no time jumping down to the balcony, coming to stand beside Madeleina. Sheâs close enough now he can feel the tension coiling around her body. Her mouth is set into a hard line, and her eyes fixate on Illario.
So, she was just as thrown off by his appearance at the Chantry as he was. Good. He can get right to the point without preamble.
âIllario - what are you doing here?â Lucanis asks, his voice low.
Illario smiles widely as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. âIâm coming with you, of course. No argumentsâ
Mierda.
âThis is my jobâ Lucanis says firmly, his hands clenching into fists at his side.
âThis is Crow businessâ Illario corrects him. He feels a muscle in his jaw tick.
âHow did you even know weâd be here?â If the contents of Viagoâs letter were anything to go by, only he and Madeleina should be privy to this information. From the corner of his eye, he can see the weariness settle more firmly onto her features. She folds her arms over her chest and frowns deeply.
Illario seems to notice the shift in her demeanour. He ignores Lucanisâ question and turns to address her instead. He plasters on an insincere, charming smile. The same one Lucanis has seen him use to seduce countless targets. From the way Madeleinaâs brows draw further down, he surmises it has the opposite effect on her. Good.
âRookâ He all but purrs her moniker, and for a brief moment Lucanis is thankful Illario doesnât know her real name. The tone of his voice sets both him and Spite on edge. âAlways a pleasure. Touring the city with my cousin?â He pauses to gesture to Lucanis with a sultry grin. âYou must allow me to show you the sightsâ
Madeleinaâs voice is stern, almost biting, when she answers, âLucanis told you not to comeâ.
He is silently grateful sheâs not encouraging Illario. Even more grateful, a small part of him thinks, that his cousinâs attempts at flirting backfire so spectacularly. He can count on one hand the number of times thatâs happened. Once Illario realizes his usual approach wonât do him any credit with Madeleina, his face settles into a more neural expression â a little too quickly.
Lucanis decides to interject before he can get a word in edgewise, âThis isnât your type of job, cousin.â He means to needle him about his earlier attempt at Madeleina. Heâs not sure whether thatâs more him or Spite. âThereâs no one you can charm here. Only fanatics. All you can do is get yourself killedâ
His words land with the desired effect, if only for a moment. Thereâs a brief flicker of annoyance in his eyes that only someone who has spent many years with Illario would be able to pick up. Itâs gone as soon as it came, now replaced by a challenging stare.
âYou think Iâm not good enoughâ He doesnât phrase it as a question.
âAre you?â Lucanis retorts, tilting his head, throwing the challenge right back at him.
Illarioâs nostrils flare. There is concession, but not defeat in his eyes. He settles for a placating smile, but Lucanis has a sinking feeling in his gut that whatever is going on with his cousin will not pass so easily. Perhaps itâs the overly saccharine way he concedes or perhaps itâs the uncharacteristically light tone in his voice given the subject matter. He bows his head, âFine, have it your way cousin.â
Before Illario turns to leave, he lets out a bitter chuckle. âYou always know best, after allâ. And without another word, he disappears into the night.
He shakes his head. Thereâs no time to worry about Illarioâs antics right now. Lucanis Dellamorte has a target. And he always collects.
You find her and cut her heart out, Lucanis.
âLetâs go, Zaraâs waitingâ
Lucanis doesnât wait for Madeleina to catch up before he starts making for the Chantry courtyard.
She follows him soundlessly, like a shadow.
~*~
âAmatu- â
A sickening crack as Zaraâs neck is snapped by Illario, who dropped down from the ceiling just a moment earlier.
She doesnât have time to think about the implication of what she just heard. Zaraâs final words are pushed to the back of her mind as an anguished cry escapes her companionâs lips.
âNo! Mine!â Lucanis and Spites voices meld together, all rage and hurt and betrayal, reverberating through the Chantry in a familiar discordant symphony. His purple and black wings unfurl. A high-pitched whistling fills the Chantry, like the firing of an Antaam canon. Then, Illario is sent flying back by a blast of magical energy shooting out of Lucanis. Madeleina is knocked back a few steps from the sheer force of it.
A second later, Lucanis â or rather Spite controlling Lucanisâ body, is on Illario. The dagger in his hand comes down, ready to kill his cousin. A scream tears through his chest as Illario resists, his arms the only thing between him and the daggerâs edge. Lucanisâ face is a twisted mask of hurt and anguish. When he speaks next, his voice is strained. Thereâs more of him than Spite, like heâs fighting the demon to even get the words out.
âGet. Illario ⊠Out!â He cries over his shoulder, eyes burning like bright, purple sapphires. His arm inches the dagger closer and closer to Illarioâs neck, acting of its own accord.
âWhat? No â â
I wonât leave you here alone.
She winces and stumbles closer. Another pained yell reverberates through the chantry.
âRook!â His eyes are pleading. Heâs losing the struggle against Spiteâs rage, and fast. The dagger is almost touching Illarioâs neck now, just about to draw blood, âI canât â! â
âThatâs enough!â Shouts Illario, and he does something that Madeleina canât see from where sheâs standing. But she can sense it. Even smell it.
Blood magic.
A plume of red erupts from Illarioâs chest. It slams into Lucanis, knocking him back onto his forearms. The heady scent of iron and blood and sulphur fills the air. She can taste a metallic tang on her tongue.
Illario pulls himself to stand and puts his hand out in front of him like heâs commanding a dog to sit. The sight of it turns her stomach.
âRelentâ Lucanisâ head swivels, she can see the whites of his eyes as they roll back. âSomniareâ. He falls unconscious and his head hits the stone floor with a crack.
Madeleina is behind him not a moment later, cradling his head in her hands. She breathes a sigh of relief when she canât feel any blood pooling in his hair.
âLucanis? Lucanis wake upâ she whispers, shaking him by the shoulders. When he doesnât stir, she looks up at Illario, eyes burning with rage. âVenhedis. What the fuck did you do to him, Illario?â She snarls.
âNothingâ Illario says, straightening to his full height. âI donât know what happened any more than youâ
Liar.
âYou have to get him out of hereâ Illario points to Lucanis, still unconscious in her arms. When he turns towards the door, Madeleina calls after him. She has about a million questions swarming her thoughts like wasps kicked from their nest.
âIllario, donât you dare lea-!â
âRook. Keep him away from Treviso. From the Crowsâ His voice is low and even. Too calm, for what he just did. âHeâs a danger to the familyâ.
She stares in disbelief as Illario Dellamorte disappears from the Chantry. He leaves Lucanis and Madeleina alone in the basement chamber. Well, sort of. Madeleina is not Emmrich, and she doesnât count the dead bodies of several Venatori and Zara Renata as company.
âShitâ
She wished, more than anything, she had prodded Emmrichâs brain about a healing spell rather than learning to summon wisps.
Wait.
Wisps.
Using what remained of her magic, she called forth a bouncing ball of familiar blue-green light from the Fade. Itâs light chittering filled the silence of the Chantry as it floated in front of her face, bouncing on an invisible air current.
âFind Viago de Riva. Bring him here. Can you do that?â The Wisp zips around her head, before phasing through the far wall. She prays it understands the command. Thereâs nothing she can do except wait for help. She wonât leave him alone. Not here.
She shakes him gently by the shoulders again, âCome on Lucanis, wake up. Please, wake upâ.
The faint smell of blood and sulphur still lingers on him.
Blood magic. She was still grappling with the fact that Illario had used blood magic to control Spite. To control Lucanis. How? Why?
Madeleina bites her lip. Her fingers curl softly against the fine, dark leather of Lucanisâ armor. Zaraâs final words come rushing back and hit her like a tidal wave.
Amatus.
She was about to say Amatus.
Dread settles in her chest as she comes to a chilling realization.
Illario Dellamorte and Zara Renata were lovers.
Venhedis.
Illario had to be the one who sold Lucanis out. There was no other explanation that made sense.
The longer she thinks about it, the faster the pieces start clicking together like the whirring gears on one of Bellaraâs machines. There were a million little things about Illarioâs behaviour that never sat right with her. When looked at separately, they were never overtly suspicious. But taken together, they paint quite a damning picture.
Each fact clicks neatly into place with the one that comes after it, like a line of collapsing tin soldiers.
Illario avoided coming down to the Ossuary with them, and the same night, Caterina was killed. He tried to throw Lucanis off Zaraâs trail by convincing him that she was back in Minrathous. His strange behaviour at Caterinaâs funeral. His knowledge of where theyâd be tonight. Killing Zara just before she revealed who sold Lucanis out. And most damning of all, the fact that he could control Spite with Blood magic.
She bites her lip.
Kaffas. How am I supposed to tell him the last member of his family sold him out.
Lucanis still isnât waking.
Madeleina watches the soft rise and fall of his chest, worried that if she looks away for even a moment, he might stop breathing.
âPlease wake upâ Her voice hitches.
His head is resting on her knees. Sheâs afraid to move him. Afraid to leave. She has to trust the Wisp she sent after Viago will bring help soon. Sheâs also furious that his own home is no longer safe for him. Not while as Illario is running around with the ability to control Lucanis and Spite with Blood magic.
She brushes a stray lock of hair from his cheek and tucks it behind his ear. Letâs her fingers drift across his skin, her touch feather-light, for a brief moment before pulling away. Madeleina isnât used to seeing him like this. He rarely sleeps at the Lighthouse. She would know, given all the nights she stays awake with him telling stories. She tries, at the cost of her own sleep, to make his long, waking hours less lonely. Madeleina wonders if heâs dreaming of better days. Prays heâs not stuck in some terrible nightmare, lest it fuel Spiteâs wrath. The last thing anyone needed tonight was for the demon to claw his way to the surface again and wreak havoc in the streets looking for Illario.
She sighs, and stares aimlessly at the arched ceiling of the Chantry basement.
It was going to be a long night for both of them.
~*~
Lucanis Dellamorte has forgotten what a good nightâs sleep feels like.
Only, this didnât feel like sleep. It felt like stasis. Paralysis. Even Spite didnât stir.
He did not dream, he did not feel. There was only crushing, oppressive darkness in every direction. Like he had been dropped to the bottom of a black ocean.
Lucanis regains movement in his fingertips first. Then his toes. And then, he can move his legs â but only a little. They pedal back and forth a few times as he tests out his strength. A groan escapes his lips. His lips feel dry, and his mouth is thick with the taste of cotton. His eyelids are leaden weights that are slow to lift.
Once he can blink away the tears clouding his vision, the familiar roof of his pantry bedroom comes into focus.
Back at the Lighthouse.
â⊠MmmhâŠâ he groans again. As some of his strength returns to him, heâs able to push himself upright. His head is throbbing something fierce. ââŠMierdaâŠâ He hisses, when his mouth can finally form words.
A moment later, he hears something shift beside him. His head snaps to the side, and heâs ready to pull the hidden dagger he keeps under his pillow. But Lucanis settles, lets the tension uncoil from his body, when he sees Madeleina Mercar asleep in a chair next to his cot.
She has her knees pulled up tight to her chest, her head resting atop her folded arms. Madeleinaâs face is curtained by a mass of brown curls. Her head slowly lifts, and her eyes flutter open.
âMadeleinaâ All Lucanis can do is whisper her name because heâs tired, everything hurts, and he canât think straight.
She rubs the sleep out of her eyes and yawns. âLucanisâ Her voice is low, husky. âYouâre awakeâ
He wonders how long sheâs been sitting in that chair. Sheâs still wearing her mageâs overcoat, the same armour she wore when they confronted Zara. Black leather with a gold trim â a serpent in the middle of her chest. All sharp angles and harsh lines, in the Tevinter fashion. It was a stark contrast to the roundness of her cheeks, the fullness of her lips and the softness of her curls.Â
Lucanis swings his legs over the side of the bed and leans on his forearms. Flashes of their confrontation with Zara play on a loop in his mind.
Illario killing Zara. The terror of losing control to Spite. The way he came tearing through his mental barrier and took over so quickly it gave him whiplash, while Lucanis sunk into the recesses of his mind. A passenger in his own body. Illarioâs neck beneath his blade. Begging Madeleina to get Illario out of there. Fear in her wide eyes. And then, overwhelming, oppressive darkness.
He remembers rage. So. Much. Rage.
He almost killed Illario. What if he lost control again? What if he hurt someone else?
What if he hurt her?
At the thought of hurting Madeleina, the demon ripples underneath his skin, and prods the edges of his consciousness.
Smells like thunderstorms and blood. Spite hisses. Sulphur and ash and iron. Sheâs never. Right. Anymore.
And whoâs fault is that, he wonders bitterly.
Sheâs looking at him. Her gaze is soft. Always too soft. Even when he failed to take down Ghilanânain at Weishaupt. Thereâs never blame, or anger, or judgement. She always has some way to justify being kind to him, even if he thinks he doesnât deserve it.
Search as he may for something else, he only ever finds patience. Peace. Understanding. And thatâs terrifying to him, because heâs never known that before. Caterina loved him⊠in her way. But he knew the back of her cane as well as he knew a comforting hand.
âI âŠâ Lucanis starts, but the words die on his tongue, reeled back into his mind until he can form them into a proper sentence. Madeleina tilts her head and rests her cheek on her arm. Her legs pull in just a little closer to her body.
âIâve been trying to figure out what to say to youâ
She blinks slowly. âWhat do you mean?â
âThere⊠there arenât words enough to apologizeâ He answers, his voice low, but even. Just barely. She looks confused at the apology, her brows drawing together. âI never wanted you to see me like thatâ
A quiet settles between them. Madeleina looks thoughtful.
Her knees slide down the chair and thereâs a soft thud when her boots land on the stone floor.
âAnd yet Iâm still hereâ
He could swear his heart stops in his chest. Lucanis doesnât know what he expected her to say. Anything but that. He hangs his head, rather pathetically, if heâs being honest with himself.
Why? He wants to ask, but his lips wonât move, held together by some invisible seal.
What could he, an abomination, offer her except for problems and pain and misery? What could he, an assassin, give her anything but death?
She. Wonât. Hurt us. Spite whispers. He said that the first day they met too. Hers was the first kind voice, kind eyes heâd seen in a year. Spite didnât forget that either.
âI âŠâ
âHeyâ She whispers quietly, before he feels her fingers gently lifting his chin. As soft as heâd imagined. Warm and comforting like heâd hoped. Her jade green eyes still have a habit of making the rest of the world disappear. âLucanis, thereâs nothing to apologize for. Reallyâ
There is. Thereâs so much to apologize for.
I failed to kill your God. I couldâve killed you. Iâm no good. Weâre no good.
His thoughts whir about themselves, twisting and morphing together into new things he wants to say, new things he feels he should apologize for. New reasons why what he desperately wants â this thing theyâve been dancing around, is a bad idea.
When she pulls away, he wants, more than anything, to reach out and place her hand back on his face. To keep that warmth there just a little bit longer. Linger in the softness rarely afforded to someone like him.
âListenâ She folds her hands in her lap, âWe have a few hours before the rest of the team will be up. I think⊠I think thereâs a story you should hearâ
âMadeleina, we have to talk- â
âAbout Illario, I know. We will. Tomorrowâ
He wants to argue but knows itâs pointless with her. She only has to look at him a certain way and the resistance will die on his tongue. Lucanis runs a hand down his face, and sighs.
"Fine. But first, coffeeâ
~*~
Sometime later, the pair find themselves in front of the fireplace once more. Thereâs fresh coffee, and some leftover dessert from two nights ago â Nevarran Hazelnut Torte, a recipe from Emmrichâs late mother. It had become a fast favourite around the Lighthouse, to the Professorâs delight.
Madeleinaâs cake is untouched. It was very unusual for her, given how voracious her sweet tooth is. Lucanis has watched her put away a dozen churros like they were grains of rice. Where does it all go?
Heâs not used to seeing her in armour around the Lighthouse either. The large overcoat dwarfs her and makes her look smaller than she really is. Itâs never that apparent in the heat of battle since theyâre usually trying their best not to die from the monster-du-jour. He briefly wonders if sheâs overheating in it, being this close to the warmth of the fireplace.
âSo, what tale will you tell tonight â uhh ⊠this morningâ He quickly corrects himself. One can never be certain about the time in the Fade. Sometimes, when he thinks itâs close to dawn, he can hear waves crashing in the distance.
âHave you ever heard the Orlesian tale of The Shoes that Were Danced to Pieces?â
âI havenâtâ Lucanis swirls his coffee a few times before taking a sip. âBut I assume Iâm about toâ
âMmmâ She hums, with a slight frown. âIndeedâ
 Thereâs something different about the way sheâs starting tonightâs tale. He canât quite put his finger on it. So, he lets her continue without interruption, hoping to glean the reason through the course of her story.
Her hands alight with blue flame, she sweeps her forearm across the air like sheâs swatting a fly. In her wake, twelve figures spring to life, each one more beautiful than the last. The women are dressed in classic Orlesian ballet attire, and each has a thin, delicate band across their forehead.
âOnce upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a King and his twelve Princessesâ The figure of the King appears, perched on a floating throne above his daughters. The Kingâs face is weathered by time, and even though he is an illusion, there is a deep sorrow in his eyes.
The King disappears and twelve beds, arranged in concentric circles appear. Each princess appears next to one of the beds.
âAll the Princesses sleep together in one room. And each night, the King bolts the door shutâ
âStrange thing to doâ he remarks, between bites of Torte. âEven for an Orlesianâ Lucanis snickers.
âStranger still is the reasonâ Madeleina continues. She waves a hand through the illusion, and it disappears, now replaced by the King. Heâs holding a pair of ballet shoes, which have been completely worn through.
âEvery night, the King seals the girls in their room. And every morning, their brand-new dancing shoes are discovered to be worn through from dancing. No one, not even his wisest scholars or most sensible hunters could figure out how. So, the King puts out a proclamationâ She raises her hand, and the figure of the King stands from his throne, holding the worn-out shoe in an outstretched hand. ââWhoever discovers the secret of my daughterâs dancing shoes, may marry one and take my place as King when I dieââ
The figure of the King disappears, and in his place, is a young man in an intricately woven doublet. His fine hair is pulled back into a low ponytail. A bejeweled rapier rests in its hilt by his hip.
âA young prince from a neighbouring kingdom is the first to take up the challenge. And so, he is sealed in the antechamber of the Princessesâ rooms, that he may observe their comings and goings at night.â
The young prince lies down on a small cot that has appeared next to him. âBut the prince travelled a great distance to arrive at the Kingdom, and his eyelids grew heavy with sleep.â The prince closes his eyes and drifts off into a peaceful slumber. âHe doesnât see where the Princesses go. But sure enough, the next morning, their shoes are full of holes in the solesâ The Princesses parade their shoes in a circle around the young prince, almost as if to taunt him.
âOn his second night, the same thing happens. The prince cannot stay awake, and the Princesses dance the night awayâ
The prince falls asleep again, but this time, he disappears.
âOn the third night, the young prince vanishes â as if he had never been there in the first placeâ
Now that has his attention. Lucanis raises an eyebrow at the empty cot floating in front of him.
âCuriousâ he mumbles, taking another sip of coffee.
She waves several other figures, all of different statures and heights and builds. Elves, dwarves, humans. Warriors and rogues and princes.
âEach potential suitor who takes up the Kingâs challenge meets the same fate. On the third night, they always disappear without a traceâ Each figure winks out of existence, one by one.
âOne day, an older, retired sailor from Rivain hears of the Kingâs challenge while passing through Orlais. He also hears that every previous suitor has disappeared after three nights. But heâs not worriedâ
With a flourish, a middle-aged man with a tall, well-built stature appears. His face is handsome, but scarred from battle. Heâs dressed in humble travellerâs clothes and carries a mageâs stave on his back.
âHeâs either very brave, or very stupidâ
Madeleina just smiles and winks. âOr, he has help that the other suitors didnât haveâ
An amorphous, shifting ball of light appears next to the Rivaini man. âThe man was a mage. A tidemaker in the Rivaini navy. His mother was a Seer. Although usually only female mages undergo the training necessary to be able to communicate and bond with spirits, the man had a great talent for magic from a young age. His mother would never let him become possessed by one, like she could, but she taught him enough to be able to commune with them and ask their guidanceâ
The man walks through the air, with the ball of light bouncing along beside him.
ââHo there, Spirit-Friendâ he said. âI should very much like to unravel the mystery of these Princesses and their dancing shoes. What wisdom can you offer me?ââ
The Spirit whirs around the sailor-mage, ââTake not the wine the eldest Princess will offer you before bed. Pretend to be in a deep slumber. Then, under cover of dark, steal after the Twelve to discover what lies beneath the castleââ
If he wasnât intrigued before, he certainly was now.
The spirit is waved away. The old sailor, armed with this new knowledge, presents himself to the figure of the King, hovering above him.
âThe King welcomes the sailor, and just as he did with the other suitors, locks him in with the Princessesâ
Madeleina brings the Princesses into view again.
âThe oldest princess, Delphine, does exactly as the Spirit said she would. She offers the sailor a glass of wine.â
The figure of Delphine, wine goblet in hand, indeed offers the sailor a drink. But just as the spirit told him to, he refuses, by shaking his head and pretending to go to sleep. He lies down on the same cot the first prince used. The figures of the princesses surround his cot, rather ominously. Lucanis is convinced theyâre going to murder him on the spot.
ââHe refused the wine! What shall we do?â cried the second oldest sister, Marie.â The sailor doesnât stir in his cot. ââHeâs quite asleep, Marie â letâs just go. He cannot followâ says the eldest. âPerhaps he will take the wine tomorrow nightââ
One by one, the sisters form a circle around an ornate stone circle, floating beneath them. And like the princesses, one by one, the stones on the circle lift in the air, and a winding staircase opens into the floor.
âThe princesses had a secret doorway in the castle. A doorway to another world â or so they thought, at leastâ Madeleina frowns, and as the princesses disappear down the staircase, the figure of the sailor, creeping behind them, comes back into view. He is glowing black, instead of blue.
âThe sailor was clever. He used magic to wrap himself in a cloak of night so as to blend into the shadows. He followed the youngest sister, Charlotte, down the enchanted stairway.â The figure of the sailor walks slowly behind the youngest sister â a beautiful young woman with long, plaited hair and a simpler gown than her sisters.
As the figures continued down the staircase, Charlotte stops. ââSisters- I know not why, but I fear something terrible will befall us tonightâ, says the youngest sister. The other sisterâs pause, and itâs the oldest who speaks next. âOh, you goose, you are always frightened. Come, let us enjoy ourselves tonightââ
The figures continue down the endless stairway. The sailor, eager to see what lies at the end, gets a little too close to the figure of Charlotte. His boot catches the end of her dress.
ââOh! Something pulled at my dress!â cries the youngest sister, but the others do not heed her. âGoose, you have merely stepped on a nail. Come nowââ Madeleina puppets the figure of Delphine to wave the other sisters down.
Everything disappears for a moment, while Madeleina regains her strength with a sip of coffee and a nibble of the Hazelnut Torte.
After sheâs thoroughly cracked all her knuckles, her hands resume their work. She conjures into existence, the scene of a brilliant underground cavern. A castle within a castle. There is an eerie lake separating the princesses from their destination. Eleven longboats, similar to the one the Caretaker ferries them through the Crossroads with, appear at the lakeside.
The figures at the helm of the longboats is what intrigues him. Lucanisâ eyes widen as he realizes the eleven longboats are steered by the headless figures of the previous suitors.
âMierdaâ He whispers, leaning back in his chair. âI didnât know the Orlesians to be so⊠macabreâ
Madeleina shrugs, âSurprising, right? When I first heard this story, I thought was from Nevarra, honestlyâ
She makes each princess file into a longboat. Charlotte takes her place beside Delphine in the first one. The headless body of the prince begins rowing them to the other side. The other longboats depart soon after. The figure of the sailor wastes no time sneaking onto one of the other longboats, so as not to tip the weight.
âAs he rides with the princesses, the sailor has a sneaking suspicion that he is meant to helm the twelfth longboat. He is thankful for the spirits help, and thankful to have his head on his shouldersâ
They arrive at the castle. Madeleina decorates the boughs of trees lining the path with leaves of silver and gold.
âThe sailor knew he would need some kind of proof to bring to the King, so he snaps a twig from one of the trees and tucks it in his pocketâ He watches the figure do so at Madeleinaâs command.
She waves several instruments â trumpets, drums, harps, and more, into existence. They float in the air, above the princesses, and they each take their positions with a respective headless suitor. Except the last princess, Charlotte, who begins to dance on her own. They pirouette and twirl about, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
âHow did they find this strange castle in the first place?â Lucanis would usually never interrupt a story, especially not one as intriguing as this, but he had to know.
Madeleina gives a sad smile and erases all the figures with a flourish of her hand.
Soon, the figure of Delphine returns, and she is sitting alone on her bed, with her dancing shoes in her hands.
ââWoe is meâ she cried once. âI should like to dance with my sisters forever. Alas we are all to be married.ââ Delphine lies on her bed and her shoes lay on her chest. ââWe shall be scattered to the farthest reaches of the continent to find the most handsome matches. I would do anything to dance with my sisters for a while longerââ
âAhhâŠ.â Lucanis nods. He can see where this is going.
âYeahâ Madeleina frowns. âSomething heard her plea. Something that had been trapped in the castle for a long time, watching and waiting for the right time to strike.â
She raises a hand and forms a demon he could only surmise is Desire personified. It has large, bare breasts, barely covered by dangling jewels and chains. Narrow waist, wide hips. Everything about the demon was made to entice. Even its horns added a certain appeal.
He can feel Spite rolling his eyes in the back of his mind. He doesn't like Desire either.
ââDo not despair my child, for I have a way for you and your sisters to remain together, foreverâ the Desire demon says to Delphine. âAnd should your father bring any suitors, take their heads and present them to me. I will make sure they never leave this castle. You and your sisters may dance your nights away in my domain. All you need to do is wear the shoes I will gift you every nightââ
The desire demon gestures with her hand and twelve pairs of shoes, arranged neatly in a line, and glowing an eerie pink light, appear beside her.
âDelphine agrees, of course. She tells her sisters of the shoes and her plan. The dancing shoes were the key to unlocking the secret castle. Every night they would go and dance the night away. And every time a suitor would come, on the third night, they would behead him and drag his body down the winding staircase.â
A gruesome scene of the eldest princess hacking off the head of the younger prince from the start of the tale begins to play out in front of him. Red light spatters on the princess, before they all fade out.
Heâs rubbing his beard absent-mindedly, completely engrossed in the tale now. Heâs forgotten about his coffee, and his cake. Every pause stretches into an infinity. Spite is also eager to know how this one ends, and he claws at the backs of Lucanisâ eyelids impatiently.
Madeleina once again conjures the image of the underground castle. The princesses are dancing with their headless suitors, and their ballet shoes are glowing pink now.
âThe sailor knows there is dark magic at work here, and he needs to stop itâ The figure of the sailor moves soundlessly between the dancing couples. âHe follows the trail of magic to the demonâs lair inside the castleâ
A room filled with jewels and gold and all manner of treasures appears in front of Lucanis. The desire demon lounges on a settee, adorning herself in riches. She is propping her elbow on the head of a handsome elf. The fifth suitor, he remembers.
âThe demon, true to its nature, offers to make any desire of the sailorâs come trueâ The demon begins sauntering towards the figure of the sailor, all swaying hips. Sailor draws his stave and starts preparing for a battle.
ââI want for nothing you can give me, demonââ The sailor replies. "'Save your head'"
A great battle of magic erupts between the two. They lob arcane missiles and bolts and fireballs at each other, until the Sailor summons the tides of the nearby lake to his side.
âThe sailor overwhelms the demon with his power, and she perishes. Almost immediately, the spell over the underground castle starts to fadeâ The bodies of the dead suitors drop to the ground.
Next, the sailor is standing with the princesses, who all look like theyâve woken up from a dream.
ââWhat happened?â asked Marie.â Madeleina has the sailor walk closer to her. He puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ââYou were beset by a demon. Fear not, for I have slain it. But let this be a lesson. Put not your faith in whispers of promises too good to be true, my ladies.ââ
With that, the sailor bows to the princesses and begins walking away.
ââBut sir!â The youngest calls after him, âWonât you take a reward? Surely our father would give one of us to you in marriage and make you king?ââ
The figure of the sailor smiles and twirls the silver branch he plucked from one of the trees.
ââIt is reward enough to slay the demon that haunts this palace and learn the secret of your dancing shoes. I never came here to be kingââ
Madeleina waves the figures away.
âThe sailor continues on his journey across the continent, and Delphine makes peace with parting from her sisters by making the most of what time they have leftâ
With a final flourish, she has the figures of the twelve princesses pirouette around Lucanisâ chair. They disappear one by one soon after.
âThe endâ
Lucanis rubs the back of his neck, âThat was ⊠somethingâ He says quietly. âI think I need more coffeeâ
Madeleina nods and stretches out her limbs. âAnd I think Iâm in desperate need of a napâ
Lucanis stands and gathers their uneaten cake on a single plate, as well as their half-empty coffee cups. âGo on, Iâm awake. Iâll clean this up. You should sleepâ
Thereâs something in her eyes that makes him feel thereâs more she wants to say but canât bring herself to form the words.
Somewhere, deep in his chest, he knows exactly what it is sheâs trying to tell him. Tried to tell him through her story.
But heâs not ready to face that particular truth yet.
Thereâs someone elseâs lips he needs to hear it from. He shudders to think of seeing her wretched corpse again. Not ready for the feelings itâs going to bring up, nor the question he has to ask.
He knows, deep down, that Madeleina pieced it together already.
Lucanis just prays he has the strength to face it when the time comes.
#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis x rook#lucanis x mercar#rookanis#viago de riva#fanfiction#illario dellamorte#fic: bedtime stories for a demon#oc: madeleina mercar#dragon age veilguard#datv#datv spoilers#shiet guys this one took an uncharacteriscally long time to write#hopefully it turned out ok#enjoy a little bit of jealous illario#fun fact the 12 dancing princesses is my fave barbie movie and writing an extremely fucked up version of it was super fun
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au art where mikey left carmy his daughter in his will (writing a fic for it called ribbons and scrunchies, it is sydcarmy + single dad carmy)
#emilia âemmyâ berzatto i love you sm i can't wait to finish out your story you're so fun to write#if you are part of the few that read my fic on ao3 and supported it i'm so so sorry for privating it đđ ilysm for the support#when i can't update something for a long time i feel extremely bad i can't leave yall hanging like that LMAO#once i have the mental capacity and time for it i'll 100% finish it off to post it + draw chapter art for it :D it's halfway done anyways#carmy berzatto#sydcarmy#the bear fx#sammi's art
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Squirmles as an interrogation method (but wholesome)
Oh buddy
Once EDEN allowed other institutions access to squirmles, their potential was instantly recognized...
Let's say you have a low-risk criminal or hostage, but you've been instructed NOT to harm them at all. Solution? Dumping a whole jar of squirmles down their back >:)
It may seem silly or unorthodox, but the success rate is surprisingly high! Turns out being tied to a chair with a whole swarm of tickly critters in your clothes is unbearable.
Luckily, the squirmles love it >:) they are monsters after all...some evil tickling is their favorite.
#squirmles#truly they are lil creatures they love feasting on victims mwahahaha#squirmle interrogation is highly effective#some have used them directly for torture as well (fun torture ofc)#ofc they can be used for cute and wholesome interrogation too pffft#lots of criminals or agents are prepared to manage pain...but tickling?#extreme tickling?? not so much#lots of em fold real quick#ask#anon#I wanna write a fic or something for this tbh I love when tickles are EVIL#cute is always peak but tickle torture....bark it scratches the itch
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Comes in here with a longass post hello! Been meaning to get around to illustrating some Species Headcanons @humming-fly @alagaesia-overlord and I have been cooking up! Major props to them for helping me write the script hahaha it wouldn't have been possible without them!
This is a little segment I have been wanting to try for a bit, just a nice moment to dispense lore in a fun way! I can't promise that more will be out in a necessarily timely manner, but I can promise that more will be on its way. Someday!
Until then, I hope you all enjoy these fun lil thoughts! đ€
#aseukiart#kirby oc#breakroom gossip#what are puffballs#kirby headcanons#phemus#strix#âïž#collapses on my desk#Raises my hands#DONE!!!#been hoping to finish this before the end of this month and I did!!#barely!!#Extremely fun to plot and write though I love illustrating I love drawing character interactions#tried doing a more pastel-y look for the illustrations which I think came out v fun!!#In case yalls were wondering why Stell isn't the one dispensing the lecture it's bc they'd rather choke and die#rather than share any kind of useful information đ#Ty Cyriae for letting me borrow your OC like the sock puppet to dispense this information#Phemus is here bc I just wanted to include my OCs đ„șđđ#stell#parhelion knight#fayre#(They're both sort of there just Very Small)
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Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards
I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?
I. Magic Tricks
You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)
But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."
In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.
II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets
This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?
From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.
Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)
2008.
Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible
2009.
Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?
2010.
This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!
2011.
Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards
2012.
This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??
2013.
Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form
2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):
For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one
2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):
The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"
III. Why Does This Matter?
*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs
This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!
There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.
But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(
#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post#nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg#that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face#<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH#anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project#and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore#i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects#<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about....#idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ#theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create.#haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think:#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion#<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell#fernando alonso#fa14#f1#formula 1#catie.rambling.txt#we do a little bit of f1
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kim is such a funny little guy like he emphasizes how little the rcm salary is when you ask about it (5500 reĂĄl annually- 460/mo) but here he is with his nice electronic sports watch and his little instant camera and his fancy revolutionary cosplay for plainclothes and he's living in the GRIH which can't be cheap and he's got his fancy little mnemotechnique notebooks which are like the moleskine of elysium i guess and his fancy little ballpoints that he does NOT want to share with you which i bet is because they cost him like a week of salary. and this is the rcm he's not getting stipends for supplies or watches or housing or probably even the gas for the kineema. poor as fuck but he is going to buy himself his little treats god damn it. if he lived in our world you know he'd be out getting himself a $9 vanilla soy milk half caf dirty chai iced latte every morning on the way to the station and eating instant noodles every night to claw out room in the budget for it
#'kim is a black coffee kind of guy' false he drinks black coffee at work solely for appearance#given the choice he's like the typical iced latte extra caramel sauce 27 pumps of vanilla and whipped cream type of girlie#he won't admit it though. so he drinks it black at work. with one (1) sugar if he's feeling zesty#kim buying himself extremely nice and overpriced notebooks every couple weeks justifying it with 'it's for work'#he will justify any purchase to himself with 'it's for work' wherever possible#which results in insane feats of mental gymnastics. and yes that would include the $9 soy chai lattes#harry is broke bevause he spends r400 a month on booze.#kims budget is r110 kineema gas and mods r150 stationery r150 rent r20 pen ink refills r20 tailoring supplies and r10 food & misc#creature of pride indeed. love you kim#kiwipost#kk meta#kim kitsuragi#harry makes fun of the expensive pens until he writes with one then hes like no yeah this is a nice pen. im sorry for ever doubting you#actually even better if harry thinks its shitty. he'd prefer the cheap dollar store bulk pack 50c plastic ones#kim gets really defensive of his pens too. unreasonably defensive. personal insults may or may not be slung at this point#kim is sooo funny yes sir you are so so normal average sane mundane usual orthodox plain unremarkable spoilsport etc. whatever you say babe
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Whump prompt requests?? :o Pretty please can I request Barry gets kidnapped and Len finds him tied up? (Do want: muzzle/gag, handcuffs. Don't want: pet p!ay, established relationship)
i think this is the only prompt i've ever gotten with a detailed list of wants and don't wants, and you know what? i love clear instructions
the devil you know (coldflash, 5.6k, rated M)*
(*note: this fic makes implied reference to threats of SA/noncon, but none occur)
When Iris West tracked Len down three days into the Flashâs latest disappearance, Len sent her on her way with a shrug. He didnât know or particularly care where Barry was, and he privately doubted Irisâs insistence that Barry wouldnât have gone off anywhere without telling his team first.Â
Still, he made an idle mental note to follow up if another week passed without any sign of him. Making that promise out loud mightâve gone a long way in wiping away some of the bitter disappointment out of Irisâs eyes as she left, but Len had a reputation to protect.Â
Besides, Barry had a bad habit of popping up in Lenâs life at the most inconvenient time possible. Ten days without the Flash interfering in any heists or Lenâs attempts to follow the hockey playoffs undisturbed? He wasnât that lucky.Â
Four days later, a meta-snatcher tossed someone down onto the ground in front of Len's chair in handcuffs, a black hood, and very little else, and Len's first thought was that being right all the time was exhausting.
Narrow hips and shoulders, a lean and powerful body (although, underfed as he looked at the moment, that balance tipped closer to just lean), long legs folding under him as he settled uncomfortablyâif prettilyâonto his knees before sitting back on his heels.Â
The concrete floor couldnât have been comfortable. Len had put together the de facto throne room they were in precisely for meetings like this. It sat at the heart of a creaking warehouse abandoned at the edge of the docks, largely off the CCPDâs radar given the overwhelming impression that it was going to slide into the river with the slightest gust of wind. (Len encouraged that impression at every opportunity; he liked to post Mardon up on the roof to howl a few well-timed gusts of wind through the corroded metal walls during particularly lucrative negotiations. It made people antsy, and antsy people made worse deals.)Â
Heâd emptied the place of everyone except for himself and Mick for the eveningâs entertainment, though. Call it a hunch; meta-snatching had largely dried up in the past couple of years. Most of the meta-humans with both valuable powers and common sense had already aligned themselves with one big player in Central City or the otherânever mind that the distinction felt increasingly like choosing sides for a scrimmage. What mattered was that neither the Rogues nor Team Flash took kindly to their allies getting grabbed off the street, and meta-snatchers had learned quickly and painfully that they were better off finding safer professions.Â
Of course, it helped that most meta-humans had also developed a healthy fear of the few meta-snatchers still bold enough or desperate enough to stay in the game. Len had taken that nightâs meeting for the same reason that trophy hunters set traps on the edge of their own camps; the bolder the animal, the bigger the teeth.Â
When the meta-snatcher pulled the black hood off with a flourish, Barry didnât even have the good grace to look chagrined.Â
âMy, my,â Len drawled, settling back into his chair with a slow smirk. âWhat big teeth you have.â
It was too perfect to resist; heâd had the line ready even before heâd seen the muzzle, and he hadnât landed on the top of Centralâs food chain by ignoring chances landing in his lap like that.Â
It was stark black leather, something Len wouldâve expected to find in a very particular kind of club and not a meta-snatchers toolkit. He wondered idly if theyâd had to improvise; a week of Barry Allen bitching his ear off, he sure as hell wouldâve reached for the nearest gag, too.Â
And it did seem to be functioning as a gag. It was well made from a single piece of leather, the breathing vents cut into the sides clearly designed not to allow enough give for the wearer to actually open their jaw. It fit snugly over Barryâs mouth and nose, looped securely over his ears, and came together in a heavy buckle on the back of his head. With the way it just skimmed the line of Barryâs high cheekbones, it was nearly a perfect inverse of the Flashâs usual mask. Â
It was a better look than the cowl. Shame Barry would probably drop him in Iron Heights for suggesting that he take inspiration from the meta-snatcherâs fashion choice.Â
Based on the flatly unimpressed look Barry was leveling him over the mask, Len was going to have to put that one on the back burner for a while.Â
A quiet snort from Lenâs right pulled his attention momentarily to Mick. Barry was lucky Mick hadnât boomed a laugh the second the hood had come off; the plausible deniability that he and Len didnât know who the Flash was under the mask was wearing thin enough as it was.Â
Mick leaned against the side of Lenâs chair and rumbled, too quiet to carry, âAnd it ainât even your birthday.âÂ
The meta-snatcher cleared his throat self-importantly and Len flicked him a glare as he pulled his smirk under control. He was some distant relative of the Santinis, which made it all the more idiotic that heâd been poaching metas on turf that Len had chased the rest of his family off of years ago. Len had disregarded his first name as soon as heâd heard it; he didnât plan on needing it.Â
âHe bite?â Len asked, pushing himself lazily out of the chair.Â
Santini tucked the hood into his back pocket, clearly sensing a sale, and backed up a few steps in the universal invitation to inspect the wares.Â
âNah,â he said, conversational now that Len was showing interest. "I muzzle anything with a meta gene. Thatâs from experience. I caught one once, she could literally talk someone's ear off. And I mean literally. It would shrivel up and just..." He mimed a splat.Â
Barryâs dark shock of hair was sticking up wildly around the straps of the muzzle, and Len could see a purple bruise blooming just over the edge of the leather at one temple. However theyâd gotten the thing on him, heâd put up a fight.Â
A hell of a fight, Len corrected himself, as he got close enough to get a proper look at Barry in the dim light. There were more bruises mottling his skin further down, and they werenât showing any signs of healing. Len couldnât see what kind of cuffs were holding Barryâs arms behind his back, but he wouldâve put money on power dampeners.
"Meta gene, hm?â Len reached out and trailed his fingers through the air a scant inch above Barryâs mussed hair, just to feel the novel lack of static humming around him. "What can it do?"
The glare Barry shot him at the word "it" looked awfully annoyed for someone who was supposed to be in fear for his life, and Len raised an imperious eyebrow back.Â
âTests canât really tell you that,â Santini said, patronizing enough that Len cut him a warning look. He put his hands up, an easy surrender. â...as you know,â he tacked on, mollifying. âIâll tell you, though. He burnt through the first two pairs of cuffs we put on him. Whatever it is, heâs packing heat.âÂ
Len snorted. There were understatements, and there were understatements. The man had hooked a great white shark and thought he was selling an unusually bitey tuna.Â
It gave Len exactly the information heâd needed to know, though. He hadnât really thought Barryâs identity had been compromised, not with the way Santini had shown up alone, unarmed, and without several other bidders in tow.
He expected some kind of cheek from Barry, a tilted head that said âI told you so,â muzzle or not. Maybe even Barry pushing to his feet once Len got close enough, overly confident that Len would uncuff him and the game would be up.Â
But Barry only tipped his head back to hold Lenâs gaze as he sauntered toward him, and he didnât stir from where he was kneeling.Â
Len ignored the clear attempt at eye contact and began pacing a wide circle around him, appraising. It left Barry with the option to either twist to follow him or give up, and Len had to tamp down a smirk at the churlish way Barry snorted under the muzzle as he swung his head around to face forward again.
Up close, though, Lenâs amusement began to evaporate. Barry didnât look like he could stand.Â
Power dampener cuffs were clamped tight around his narrow wrists, as expected. Homemade, but not shoddily soâSantini was an ambitious amateur. Bruises spanned the range from purple-black to fading yellow-green, the Flashâs missing week accounted for.Â
Even with their more recent, less murder-y history, he expected Barry to have enough of a survival instinct to tense when Len passed behind him, some kind of instinctual response to having his back to someone who had once made it his lifeâs mission to kill him.Â
Instead, as soon as Lenâs path put him between Barry and Santini, Barry relaxed. Â
Lenâs feet stilled without permission from his brain. He waited for the trick, but none came. The longer he watched, the slower Barryâs too-sharp shoulder blades rose and fell, breath evening out, chin sinking by degrees towards his chest, like heâd finally allowed a weekâs worth of exhaustion to catch up to him at once.Â
Like he finally thought he was safe.Â
Something dangerously close to alarm spiked through Lenâs chest at the thought, and it took everything in him to repress the instinct to rear back a step.Â
He shoved the panic down instead, held it under until it drowned, and got ahold of himself. The annoyance that bloomed in the aftermath, on the other hand, was welcome.Â
Barry and his stupid, endless, goddamn faith that Len was a good man. Heâd always trusted him too much. But up until now, Len had had the plausible deniability that it was only because Barry was counting on his powers in the event that Len did betray him.
Now, he was faced with the unfortunate reality that things were far worse than heâd let himself believe. It was his fault, really. Barry trusted too easily; it was an immutable part of who he was. Len had watched people wriggle close enough to Barry to sink their knives in his back too many times to count. None of it made a difference, not in the long term.Â
But usually, Barry seemed to limit himself to second chances, even if he did give them out too freely. There were plenty of people in Iron Heightsâhell, in the groundâwho had used that second chance to take another stab at him, only to find that Barryâs patience had hard limits.Â
Len, on the other hand, had let himself become something unacceptable. An exception. From the moment heâd failed to shoot Barry with his fatherâs thumb on the trigger that couldâve killed Lisa, heâd become a permanent lesser of two evils. Len didnât even know what chance he was on, but he had passed second long ago.
Better the devil you know than the devil you donât, people said. That was Len: Barryâs devil of choice, every time. Len had enjoyed it for a while, no sense in lying to himself about that. He liked the snarls of annoyance when he turned the cold gun on Barryâs other problems, let it stroke his ego that Barry had chosen him over them.Â
But heâd let it go too far. Because Barry, it seemed, had forgotten a crucial part of what that saying meant. Heâd forgotten Len didnât play on the side of the angels.Â
Lucky for him, Len was going to enjoy reminding him.Â
Len forced himself to move again. His gaze lingered on the bruises as he finished circling Barry, despite his best efforts. The worst of it was centered on Barryâs left shoulder, where a hazy ring of deep purple suggested a dislocatedâand subsequently relocatedâshoulder. He also had a nasty bruise ricocheting over several ribs, and Len watched him breathe for a careful moment. A slow, measured inhale, then a slight hitch and quick, almost involuntary exhale; at least one of them was broken.Â
Lenâs carefully curated annoyance was already simmering rapidly and unacceptably toward anger when he caught sight of the marks wrapped around Barryâs upper arm. Heâd missed them at first glance, easily lost next to the darker mottling from the dislocated shoulder. But the shape of it was unmistakable: four parallel lines around the strong curve of his bicepâa handprint.Â
Someone elseâs handprint.Â
Len caught the thought by the throat before it made him round on Santini. He shoved the thought, snapping and hissing, back into the possessive corner of his mind it had escaped from, and barred the door after it.Â
Barryâs surrender had knocked something off-kilter in Lenâs brain, sent boxes heâd kept carefully bolted shut spilling open with the impact. Barry may have been his problem, but that was the only âhisâ that he was.Â
And Barry was only his problem because heâd got himself caught by a two-bit amateur with some jerry-rigged tech. A few bruises were the least he deserved; the only reason he was alive was because that two-bit amateur had dumped him at Lenâs feet and not someone elseâs.
Still, a nasty thought was churning in the back of Lenâs mind, and he had to put both hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for the cold gun. He wanted an honest answer out of Santini, not whatever he thought Len wanted to hear. The truth mattered; he needed to know how many pieces the man would be leaving the warehouse in.
âLooks a little worse for wear,â Len drawled, forcing his tone light and sardonic. âGot a discount for damaged goods?â
âAw, fuck off,â Santini lobbed back, oblivious and good natured. âSo he got a little banged up in transit. I told you, he didnât like the cuffs. He dislocated his own shoulder trying to get out of âem. Not my fault. Hell, I put it back in for you.âÂ
âNot what I was talking about.â Len slid a pointed glance down Barryâs bodyâmiles of freckled skin, very little elseâthen looked back at Santini. He didnât lift an eyebrow; he didnât have to.Â
âOh, the underwear?â Santini scoffed. âI deal in weapons, Cold, not skin. Too messy. Kidâs got every stitch of clothing and virtue he had when I found him, swear on my mother. Besides, heâs not my type.â
The generous two-handed gesture Santini made in front of his own chest didnât impress Len, but it was crude enough that he took him at his word. Heâd suspected as much, regarding the clothes. Barry may have been stupid enough to get himself caught by a meta-snatcher, but he wasnât stupid enough to get caught and stay in the Flash suit. Whatever trap heâd stumbled into, heâd mustâve had time to throw the suit into some dark corner. No wonder his team hadnât been able to track him down.Â
That unpleasant matter behind them, Len rolled his shoulders back, settling in for another slow circle around Barry. The business portion of the evening was wrapping up, at least as far as he was concerned. He had the information he needed from Santini, and all that was left was to remind Barry that if the meta-snatcher was the frying pan, he was the fire.
If his first perusal had been business, the second was⊠well. Call it an advance on the clean-up fee he was going to charge Barry for handling Mr. Virtue over there.Â
Barry lifted his head as Len started to circle again, tilted it slightly in unspoken question. The muzzle was inspired, Len would give Santini that. Barry had sure as hell never held his tongue for so long in Lenâs presence of his own volition.Â
Len could hear the list of complaints heâd be in for once he took it off: thanks for leaving the cuffs on for so long, those were comfortableâyou know, they sell this new technology nowadays, itâs called an area rugâprobably with a dig about his age, while he was at it.Â
Len banished the thoughts and the grin that was threatening. Christ, maybe Barry was right. He was getting soft if he was laughing at just the idea of Barry crabbing at him.Â
He reached for his earlier determination, instead. He tilted his head with a collectorâs eye as he tightened the circle, close enough to touch.Â
Barry really did have freckles everywhere, more than Leonard had imagined in the occasional privacy of his own thoughts. Constellations of them between the colorful galaxies of bruises painted over his leanly-muscled shoulders, his chest, stomach, carelessly parted thighs. There was even a pair of them right on the dimples of his lower back, where Lenâs thumbs wouldâve fit like the space had been made for them.Â
It was a tempting thought. Pressing his own claim into Barryâs body, maybe covering up that hand-shaped bruise with one of his own. He was the one playing big bad wolf now, after all. And with both of them dressed for the part: Len, with the fur collar of the parka brushing his jaw, and Barry in those little red shorts. They left absolutely nothing to Lenâs imagination, a delicious payoff to years of idle wonderings about what the Flash wore under that suit.
Something of the thought mustâve shown on Lenâs face, because Barry looked decidedly less patient when Len caught his eye again. He glanced pointedly back behind himself, then back up again, as if Len werenât perfectly aware that he wanted the power dampener off. Â
Barry wasnât the only impatient one. Santini clapped once, businesslike, and began walking closer. âYou just window shopping today, orâ?â
Len cut him off with a look, winning him back silence and space as Santini course-corrected with a gracious âafter youâ gesture and ceded ground again.Â
A week in a cage clearly hadnât been enough to break Barryâs pride, let alone his spirit. The muzzle was probably the only thing that had kept the meta-snatchers from realizing who he was. Barry wouldâve snarked their ears off no matter what they did to him; heâd taken too many hits to be afraid of a little pain. And even with how stupid Santini was, the bared teeth and complete contempt wouldâve added up to Centralâs apex predator eventually.
The thought was a butane lighter to the sparks of arousal in Lenâs veins. It was unfortunate that he wouldnât be able to take the muzzle off while Santini was still breathing down their necks. He wouldâve liked to see the fear in his eyes when he realized the enormity of the mistake heâd made. Delivering the Flash bound and gagged to the one man in the city who had something of a gentlemanâs agreement with himâŠ
Len hummed, a little wistful, as he reminded himself that said gentlemanâs agreement precluded him from hauling Barry up to sit in his chair and slitting Santiniâs throat at his feet.Â
But he let the idea of it linger, knew that it would darken his eyes as he skimmed another lingering look down Barryâs body.Â
And there, finallyâa hint of wariness in Barryâs eyes when Len bothered dragging his gaze up from the dark hair that trailed temptingly down Barryâs lower stomach and disappeared under his waistband. Beginning to remember, maybe, that Len didnât work for free.Â
Len pushed his advantage while he had Barry off-balance. He drew his hands from his pockets, slowly, casually, and held them up at Barryâs eye level. He was wearing gloves, as he always did when conducting business. No point in keeping the cold gun strapped to his thigh if he wasnât going to be ready to use it. The gloves were a helpful and very visible reminder of that. Â
When he was sure he still had Barryâs attentionâand he did, something unreadable passing across Barryâs eyes as they darted between Lenâs handsâLen turned one hand toward himself, brought the other to its fingertips, and then slowly, one finger at a time, began teasing the glove off.Â
Barry tracked the movement with his eyes without prompting, giving Len a quickly-dismissed impulse to reward him. A quizzical furrow formed between his brows, and he stole a single glance up and risked a quick, faint tilt of his head to one side. Confused, yes, but not combative. The difference between âWhat are you doing?â and âWhat the hell are you doing?â Â
It was Lenâs turn to feel an annoyed burn of impatience. Barry was on his knees in front of a convicted killer, bound and gagged and stripped to his skin, and Barry still thought this was all part of a plan. Len had killed three men in front of Barryâand counting. The only plan he had now was finding out how far that stupid, blind trust could bend until it broke.
Len finished drawing the glove off slowly, and in the quiet of the room, nothing but the distant sounds of the river rolling past outside, he was certain Barry heard the rasp of leather over skin.Â
Barryâs attention fractured as Len watched. His gaze flicked up from the glove for a single, distracted glance at Lenâs eyes. Just below the line where the muzzle dug into the underside of Barryâs jaw, his throat bobbed on a swallow.Â
Good, Len thought. Nervous was the first step toward suspicious, and suspicious might just keep Barry alive.Â
Len looked away with easy disinterest, settling his attention to Barryâs unbruised shoulder. Barry sat up straighter as Len reached out with the glove in his hand, a hitch in his breath visible in the stuttering rise of his bare chest.Â
When Len laid the glove out on the bare, unmarked skin there, Barry twitched like Len had stuck him with a knife.
Almost getting it, Len mused. Ignoring the urgent, searching flicker of green eyes in his direction, Len reached out with his newly bare hand and rested the tip of one finger just under the corner of Barryâs jaw.Â
The black leather there was butter soft and warm from Barryâs skin. Just as slowly as heâd pulled off the glove, Len stroked the finger up the line of Barryâs jaw, following the sharp edge of it through the muzzle. Only then did he slide his gaze back to Barryâs to watch the emotions dart through those pale eyes. Confusion, yes, then surprise, with another sharp inhale. And then, with the first flush of healthy color to Barryâs face since heâd been dragged in, understanding.Â
Yahtzee, Len thought with a smirk.Â
He didnât give Barry a chance to pull away. He caught him with two fingers under the edge of the muzzle, hard, knuckles snug against his windpipe, and jerked his chin up.
Barry jolted with the movement, full-body, back arching to accommodate the sudden, demanding angle of his neck, the glove tumbling to the ground. Eyes wide, he made a sound behind the muzzle that mightâve been Lenâs name if heâd been able to open his mouth enough to say it.Â
Somewhere behind Barry, Santini started to object, but he shut himself up before Len had to look his way again. Likely Mick had warned him off, a pointed hand on the heat gunâs handle, or the man had just remembered who he was dealing with.Â
Len held Barry there at attention, letting him hang off the hook of his fingers. Heady wasnât a strong enough word for it. It was a level of control he hadnât imagined even back before Barry became Barry, when the Flash was a problem to be solved and not a single facet of a more fascinating, infuriating whole. The hero of Central City helpless at his feet, stripped of that golden cloak of lightning he wore everywhere like armorâŠÂ
And still not fighting Len an inch.Â
Barryâs chest heaved, breath coming quick and shallow, that broken rib apparently the furthest thing from his mind. When Len met Barryâs gaze, his own eyes narrowing in frustration, Barryâs were stunned and breathless. But still, no fear there.Â
Agitated, Len crooked his fingers tighter, forcing Barryâs chin up another inch. Barryâs lashes flutteredâmaybe feeling that rib now, after allâand Len watched the muscles in his thighs flex as he nearly forced him up onto his knees.
Fight back.Â
Barry didnât so much as twist in his grip, eyes half shut. With Lenâs fingers hooked under the edge of the mask, he could feel the heat of Barryâs breaths, nearly panting now. His face and throat were stained pink, exertion clearly catching up to him, and Len wondered if the mask was starting to cut off air after all.Â
He loosened his grip and allowed Barry to relax back onto his heels. Barryâs breathing stayed ragged anyway, blush touching the top of his chest as Len frowned at the unreadable expression in his eyes, gone round and almost glassy.Â
When Len slipped his fingers free of the mask, Barry didnât move an inch, head tipped back where Len had left it.Â
Lenâs patience snapped, curling his gloved hand into a fist at his side. He couldâve snapped Barryâs neck in less than a second, bared to him like that, all fragile skin and sharp tendons. It wouldâve been easy as breathing, and there wouldâve been nothing that Barryâs powers or his little team couldâve done about it.Â
Len took a sharp step forward, closing the rest of the distance between them. It brought the front of his hips nearly flush with the muzzle, his boots between Barryâs knees, which were falling open a little further with every uneven breath.Â
It wasâtoo much, frustration at the completely unearned trust, frustration that Barry had been reckless enough to get himself caught, both tangling confused with frustration at Barry. That even stripped and submissive on his knees in front of Len, offering him his throat, he was still the one goddamn thing Len wanted and couldnât have.Â
Len should have conceded that his self-restraint was clinging on by a thread. He should have taken a step back, drawled something droll and amusing, and ended the night with his sanity intact.Â
Instead, Len curved a hand around either side of Barryâs neck and stroked them upwards slowly, deliberately.
How many ways could someone kill you just like this, Barry?Â
Barryâs throat worked under his hands and he shivered, hard, even as he tipped his head back further, giving Len more room to take advantage of. Barry made another, fainter noise behind the muzzle, half-swallowed as his throat bobbed.Â
One point to Len. Even Barry couldnât miss the threat of Lenâs fingertips pressed against the fragile bones of his neck.Â
Len lifted them to the edge of Barryâs jaw, followed the line of the straps around his ears, and then reached forward to trace the leather up until his fingers met at the buckle on the back of his head.
The movement brought the parka up on either side of Barryâs head, caging him in, hopefully adding to the claustrophobia of having Len so completely in his space. Len hooked a finger under the loop of leather where it passed through the buckle. He paused there, poised to pull it tighter, and was about to close his hand around the strap and tug when Barry did the one thing he wasnât counting on.Â
He gave in.Â
All of the last remaining fight went out of those narrow shoulders at once, nearly unbalancing Len where heâd been bracing his wrists on the steady line of them.Â
Instead of using the opportunity to duck awayâpoint made, Snart, let me out of this thingâBarry only swayed deeper into the circle of Lenâs arms. Before Len could jerk backwards, half-certain that Barry was finally passing outâBarry brushed closer and rested his forehead against Lenâs lower stomach.Â
For the space of two heartbeats, Lenâs mind went perfectly blank. And then he realized, with a level of disbelief so incredulous that he could feel it bleeding against his will into respect, what Barry had just done.Â
Heâd called Lenâs bluff.Â
No suit, no speed, no backup, bound and gagged and as powerless as Len ever could have hoped to have him, and Barry had called his goddamn bluff.Â
Chips down, cards on the table, there was nothing else to doâLen took a step back.Â
Cold air rushed back between their bodies. Even with that dampener keeping his powers in check, Barry mustâve been a hundred degrees, and Lenâs jaw ached against the loss of his heat instantly.Â
Barry fell back onto his heels, and Len didnât wait for him to get his bearings. He hooked a finger through one of the ear loops, forcing the last shreds of anger into the movement, and jerked his head back up.
For the first time all night, Barry didnât jolt to meet his gaze. Instead, he let three full seconds tick past before he lifted his eyes, as if looking up had been his idea all along. Hair disheveled, pupils nearly swallowing the thin green ring of his irisesâ
Barry smirked at him.Â
It was unmistakable, muzzle be damned, eyes narrowing in such viciously smug satisfaction that Len was torn between shoving him away or dragging him into a dark corner.
Len tightened his grip in the edge of the muzzle, on the brink of deciding, when a low whistle cut through the room.Â
âWell, shit. You really have got a way with âem, huh?âÂ
Santiniâs voice was an unwelcome reminder of the unfinished business Len had to attend to, and he dragged his gaze away from Barry only after a dark look, promising him that heâd deal with him next. Â
âOr maybe just with this one in particular,â Santini continued, grinning like he and Len had agreed on something. âFunny thingâhe finally stopped burning through those cuffs when he overheard me tell my crew I was considering Cold as a buyer.â
Len slid his gaze back to Barry. Barry, who was looking anywhere but Len, apparently deeply interested in hearing anything Santini had to say for the first time since heâd dragged him through Lenâs doors. Barry, who was still breathing hard and blushing to his roots. Barry, who was trying to draw his knees together even with Len still standing in between them.Â
âDid he, now?â Len asked.Â
The question wasnât aimed at Santini, but he answered anyway.Â
âMmm-hmm.â He rocked back on his heels, inclined his head to Len in a pantomime of tipping a hat. âYou got a reputation for looking after yours, after all. He mustâve thought youâd have some use for him or another.â He flashed a salacious grin; his objections to the âskin gameâ clearly ended where his sales instincts began. âI figured maybe the feeling was mutual, and youâd appreciate first dibs on the sale.â
Lips pulling into a sharp, predatory smirk, Len lifted the toe of one boot and planted it on the inside of Barryâs thigh. âIâm considering it.âÂ
Len pushed Barryâs legs apart with ease. Barryâs color deepened, and he jerked his head like he had any chance in hell of jarring Lenâs hand loose from the strap of the muzzle now. Len clicked his tongue in a light, mocking reprimand, and Barry flashed him a glare for it, even as he stopped twisting under his grip.Â
He didnât fight it when Len drew his head to one side, far enough to give him an unimpeded view down the front of his body. The blush stretched halfway down his chest, past nipples that were hard and peaked like Len had just spent an hour teasing them with his tongue. He didnât need to nudge Barryâs thighs wider to see the thick, heavy outline of his cock straining at the front of the red shorts, but he did it anyway, and was rewarded when it twitched at the demanding press of his boot. Â
âIâll take him,â Len drawled, and Barryâs hips hitched forward as Len guided his legs apart another inch, pulling the thin material taut over his groin.
Across the room, Santini laughed. âI havenât even told you how much.â
âNot paying.â Len didnât bother looking up; Barry had lifted his gaze to him again, and Len was going to need a more compelling reason than a low level Santini to look away from the impatient heat in his eyes. âMick?âÂ
Mick strode past them without a glance. Santini took one stumbling step backwards, then did the first smart thing heâd done all day: turned heel and ran.
Something in Lenâs smirk made Barry blink, brow furrowing. He said something behind the muzzle, chin lifting in a way he probably thought was authoritative, and came across entirely the opposite on his knees.Â
Len had heard the words âNo killingâ come out of that mouth enough times to recognize it from cadence alone, but he tugged Barry up by the muzzle instead, until he got the message and stumbled to his feet.Â
âDidnât catch that,â Len drawled.Â
Barry looked ready to argue, as if he werenât half-wrecked already, skin flushed, hair wild. But he did a distracted double-take when Len shrugged out of his coat, and his gaze went dark and intent as it slid down the dark clothes he was wearing underneath, shouts behind him forgotten.
âYou can fill me in later,â Len said, turning away. He shucked his belt as he sauntered toward his chair, let the buckle ring when he dropped it to the concrete.Â
Barry was still standing indecisively in the middle of the room when Len settled into the chair with a comfortable sprawl, legs spread, boots wide. His gaze caught on the thick press of Lenâs cock, hard against his jeans, and Len flashed his teeth at him in something too sharp to be a smile.
âGot somewhere to be, bolt cutters are in the workshop.â Len indicated a door to the side with a tip of his head, even as he moved his hand to the front of his jeans. âIf not...âÂ
He rubbed his thumb over the button of his jeans, enjoying the pressure against his cockâone slow circle, another. The third time, he slid the button free.Â
And Barry came willingly.Â
#ao3 link up soon <3#thank you for giving me the challenge of writing barry as both a clever hero and a complete brat without speaking a single line of dialogue#it was genuinely extremely fun#coldflash#my fics#barry allen#leonard snart#please god tell me immediately if this line break stops working i don't want to inflict a 5.6k unskippable post on anyone
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saw some lego dinosaurs today :3
#australia adventure#i also watched the jurassic world movie for the first time AFTER going to the exhibit#it feels like it Could have been a good movie but the writing is so sexist and i spent too much time yelling EVACUATE THE GUESTS OH MY GOD#chris pratt sucks but they should've made him a horse girl for dinosaurs. that would've fixed it a bit#claire as a character is done so horribly dirty like. she's extremely competent and professional#but the entire narrative is like... portraying her as in the wrong for... being professional? for not being maternal enough?#what kind of moral is 'omggg u just need to let loose' in a movie where a SUPERMURDER DINOSAUR IS OUT OF ITS ENCLOSURE#SHE SHOULD'VE STUCK TO PROTOCOL AND EVACUATED THE PARK IMMEDIATELY!!!!!! AHHH#justice for claire jurassicworld 2024#literally every character is telling her that whatever she's doing is wrong and bad#it's excruciating to watch. anyway#indominus rex just feels like wasted potential. like it's scary for a little but it just looks like a slightly wonky t rex#should've done the thing where you barely see it and it keeps outsmarting everyone in fun and clever ways#i also personally. think they should lean into the tragedy of creating the most perfect predator but it cannot exist on this earth#i feel like there should be a sorrow and grief in having to kill a magnificent beast#like titanic or something. idk. like as a dinosaur kid im like. i like Cool Creature. in my heart im siding with cool creature#it wants enrichment. give it a meat pumpkin#would've loved to watch a defunctland style video about the theme park
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sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs
#i know the ahem. channel. of some awe....... that whole situation kind of scared people off from using the word review#but like we live in the future now. you can make a review. i believe in you#AND LIKE i like a good video essay!! but im picky. because i read academic shit for fun#when i see a capital E essay im expecting theses. im expecting sub headers. im expecting multiple examples AND footnotes with asides#(and i know this is a controversial topic but i do expect them to be long. because if you read aloud a 4 page journal article its gonna)#(take a bit of time LOL maybe i just read too much academia shit. but i dunno man. theres not a lot you can say about like a big huge)#(topic with multiple angles if you only have like 10 minutes. maybe i just talk too slow. i need to breath <3 )#theres other formats too. surveys. retrospectives. informative essays. persuasive essays. etc#and like i also read lots of reviews not just of like movies and books but of like gallery exhibitions and shit!! they can be extremely#interesting a lot of work and some really beautiful writing!! nothing wrong with a review!!! theyre important#but i do get annoyed with like. the odd air of pretention i see in a lot of video essays. especially cause its usually not backed up by#the content. i dont care for those airs in academia either. nor do i like it in documentaries#just talk naturally. you'll find your voice. there might be pretention in it in the end but it'll be yours#if im making sense. i hear a lot of people talking in a pretention that is not their own. something they put on because thats what they#think they should do. you need to find your own pretention. be pretentious in a way that feels natural to youuuuuu#hell im being pretentious. about this LOL but like its my own. it is a pretentiousness ive built over the past half decade#play around. write a blog. i dunno. find your voice dear youtubers. find your voice
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