#this was curated SPECIFICALLY for me wtf
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new smosh games episode so good i might invent time travel just to watch the next one right now
#smosh#smosh games#smosh vs. zombies#amanda lehan canto#shayne topp#courtney miller#spencer agnew#this was curated SPECIFICALLY for me wtf
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Honestly so confused of Paul's silly love songs. Apparently Paul was sending a message to John and telling him 'i love you' but he also says 'she gave me more she gave me all to me' and then again Linda says 'he gave me more he gave me all to me'. Like, wtf really??? Is he trying to tell John he loves him but Linda gave him more?
well my thing is I Don't think his message to john with "silly love songs" was telling him he loves him honestly! the song Is a message to john, and his other critics, as said by paul himself, but honestly it's a LOT bitchier to john than any of us give him credit for lol
here's what he said about it:
"There were accusations in the mid-1970s – including one from John – that I was just writing ‘silly love songs’. I suppose the idea was that I should be a bit tougher, a bit more worldly. But then I suddenly realised, that’s exactly what love is – it’s worldly. ‘Some people want to fill the world/With silly love songs’. I’d been given that reputation, and I had to stand up for it. Instead of abandoning songs about love, just get on with it, get into it and don’t be embarrassed, because even thought you might say this is a soppy subject, it’s actually the opposite: this thing people can feel for each other that makes life better. I think that’s the crux of it, and if you want to be cynical, it’s easy, you can. ‘Love doesn’t come in a minute/Sometimes it doesn’t come at all’. I think a lot of people who are cynical about love haven’t been lucky enough to feel it."
which 💀 so not only was john the one to call his music "silly love songs" which makes this veeeery directed to him, but paul is uh. also saying he hasn't been "lucky enough" to even feel love 😭
and his ire towards this comment from john can also be seen in his commentary on "I will", funnily enough, which is just one of the reasons I do think that song is about john:
"It’s a declaration of love, yes, but not always to someone specific. Unless it’s to a person out there who’s listening to the song. And they have to be ready for it. It’s almost definitely not going to be a person who’s said, ‘There he goes again, writing another of those silly love songs.’ So, this is me in my troubadour more."
but uuuh yeah essentially My Interpretation is that john mocked his music by calling it "silly love songs" (& paul has mentioned this being a comment from him more than once but since it's not recorded anywhere I'm pretty sure it must've been in a private convo which is 💀) which Especially struck a chord considering paul wrote plenty of love songs For john like "I will" (imo) and paul wrote a very tongue in cheek Overly Soppy Optimistic Song about it.
like he's just saying "so, john, you think all I do is write silly love songs? well first of all my wife loves me more than you ever could have and also love makes everything go round and we all need more love songs, something your bitter and lonely self wouldn't understand 🫶"
I think yk. paul himself has sort of curated this image that john was the main instigator of their shit flinging in the 70s, but the thing is john is NOT a subtle person. he was slagging paul off by name in interviews and writing "how do you sleep?" and not hiding how much he resented him for a bit. paul, on the other hand, is waaaay more vague and sneaky about it lmao. he's even Said him and john wrote way more songs to/about each other in the 70s than they've admitted to. so I think there were a Lot more jabs that he KNEW only john would get were about him. I mean, john knew him better than anyone and they had their own inside language so what better way to get back at him than making him look batshit insane when he would claim some song was about him 😭 and I do genuinely think "silly love songs" is another one of paul's Cunty John Songs
#mclennon#at least that's my take!!#although if he Is telling john he loves him those things aren't necessarily mutually exclusive#they loved each other through all of it even when they wanted to strangle each other#both those quotes are from thebeatlesbible btw
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idk if this is a contreversial take or not but i think that the ideal internet experience is being able to remove specific things (triggers, nsfw, gore) if you truly dont want to see them but overall being also shown things you aren’t interested in. i think one of my fave things about tumblr is seeing like 50% of my dash be about fandoms im not in, bands i dont like and quotes from books i dont want to read rather than this endless feedback loop of tiktok showing me ‘exactly what i want to see’ in a trap to keep me online as long as possible and blind to communities outside of my own. i want a mix of curating my own experience and a healthy dose of content i don’t already know i want to see, yknow?
No I think this is a pretty safe take here on Tumblr. I think stuff like this is why most of us are still here on Tumblr instead of moving to other sites like Twitter (rip) or Tiktok, you know? Because we like that this is the last social media with no algorithm, and we want to keep it that way.
To be clear, this site DOES have an "optional" algorithm that everyone is automatically opted in on, and you have to go to your settings and turn it off manually (recently found out, you have to opt out on your desktop and on your mobile. They're treated as separate settings). But the fact that you can opt out at all is HUGE.
Like, I can just go ahead and turn this thing off, and then that's it! It's off!
I was thinking yesterday about how before Instagram and Facebook had an algorithm, people genuinely just used them to stay in touch with all the happenings from their friends and family. Like, I remember going on Facebook every single day to see what my friends and family that didn't live nearby were up to. It was so fun! And then once the algorithm hit, suddenly I was bombarded with all this stupid bullshit that I didn't care about but Facebook/Instagram thought I cared about. And then only people who I "interacted" with most would be shown to me, aka people that didn't post as often or I didn't message as much wouldn't be shown to me, and it was such a sly, sinister change that I didn't even realize how many of my friends/people I followed weren't being shown to me till I slowly stopped using the app as much because wtf why am I only being shown the same 10 people? Why can't I join a fb group without it invading my entire feed? Where is everyone else? Why does this app feel So Empty?
There's a noticeable decrease of people on this site now compared to the 2010s, but weirdly enough, this is like the only social media for me that still feels like people are on it. That I can genuinely interact with mutuals without some robot deciding, "Oh, you interacted with this one person once? You browsed their blog for 5 minutes? NOW I WILL ONLY SHOW YOU THIS SINGLE PERSON'S CONTENT IN EVERY OTHER POST IN YOUR FEED FOR THE NEXT MONTH."
This has turned into a big long rant from me but like shit, dude, it's so sad how much of our online experience is controlled by algorithms now.
#not dp related#social media algorithms#social media#and dont even get me started on Dead Internet stuff
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(eta: went ahead and made this request with a vampires-are-known universe hays-code-esque porn violations)
okay so Anne Rice’s son Christopher had responded to a tweet at some point in which it was jokingly concluded that lestat would’ve been in porn and lol, that Armand would’ve reported the filming for code violations
which is fucking hilarious, and I, of course, desperately needed to beg for a crack 5+1 of this on the iwtv kink meme, and went over to type that up, but—
BUT GOOGLE WILL NOT TELL ME WHAT CODE VIOLATIONS ON AN ADULT FILM SET ARE. and I get CR was making a joke, but gdi I’d love to read this! we need this for science
the big ones on a film set of that nature are (1) you have to be of age (o b v i o u s l y; doesn’t even need to be in the fic); and (2) at least in Cali as far as I can tell, you have to glove up. (and then state by state, city by city, at least in the US, there are codes about where you can locate your sexually oriented business, what it’s allowed to be, etc). (edit: getting tested is also important, but not the kind of thing that can be visually flagged by armand after a viewing)
that’s it. my google skill may be weak.
beyond that i’m sure there are codes to be followed on any film set, but I can’t find them. (and lbr, it would be more hilarious to have specific porn codes to break.)
I guess he could be breaking the very specific rules a production company privately likes to go by, and somehow armand knows those? or the TOS on the site he cams on?
I throw myself on the mercy of my fellow iwtv tumblees, all in good fun: lestat is out there violating codes in porn and armand is dutifully calling those in one at a time. please help: wtf is the man doing? (that is not super DARK, but IS hilarious.) [ETA: okay, possible solution added at top of post]
(fwiw, imho lestat’s husband louis is fine with the career, is aware armand is gonna armand, and is honestly too busy with his art curation/brokering/etc career to give more than a passing interest to these shenanigans, and is happy to watch the final products of an evening with his boo)
if I have to make this alternate universe/scifi/fantasy I will, but irl is possibly funnier. please help me perv. for science. and the reading pleasure of the greater community.
#possibly this already exists in the world but: two cakes#a dozen cakes#iwtv#interview with the vampire#lestat de lioncourt#armand#iwtv kink meme
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ok. it's established. i am not as smart as everyone around me believes. sorting citations in mendeley should've been a 30 min task. tops. why am i still here, then? ~2 hours since i started. mistake 1: logging-in on tumblr. mistake 2: stumbling upon your blog (technically not a mistake, just a random occurrence — but is anything random, though?) mistake 3: scrolling mistake 4: wearing the cage (technically not a mistake. it was suppose to curb these distractions. *smh*)
you have curated something really fun [and niche]. all of a sudden i don't feel so alone. horny doctoral students exist! i am not the last survivor of a lost tribe! (': i hope your day's been nice to you so far. —🤓🐻
🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank you SO much for this great message! I couldn't stop laughing and it put a smile on my face because I can TOTALLY relate.
This month, I'm off of school, so I will be doing a ton of work on some manuscripts and etc. Your ask may have inspired an entire APA hoe shoot 🤣
Me, currently:⬇️
I've spent entirely too much time on Zotero trying to download custom citation styles and figuring out how to write new ones. (Apa, footnote superscript style, with other specifics. Yes, I know that's not standard, long story 🤣) I managed to stump my poor librarian, lol.
I've moved to Mendeley. Then, I moved back to zotero. And WHY DON'T THEY HAVE APPS?! (Mendeley did, but then got rid of it, wtf!)
But the scary part? I love this part of the research process. I love how there are rules to follow and exact protocols for everything. Because how often in life do you get specific protocols to follow? 🤣
God, I'm so weird and such a masochist 🤣
I've written before about how I need tumblr to balance out my professional/academic life....I won't get into it now, but there is a very nuanced balance for me between work and play that actually makes me more centered, happy, and productive. I don't think these things should be mutually exclusive. Rather, I think they create a beautiful synergy when specifically balanced towards individual needs and personalities.
Thanks for following along and your ask!
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“allegedly Meghan and Matt Lauer had a meet-and-greet in his office...if you catch my drift...” Do you remember back in 2019 or so when the last president went to the UK for a visit and there was a reception for him and Meghan refused to go? Well I was reading different news sites about the visit and one of the commenters based in LA said the real reason Meghan didn’t want to go to the reception wasn’t just about politics, it was because the former Treasury Secretary Mnuchin was going to be there with his wife. Before his appointment, he was a Hollywood producer and the commenter alleges that Meghan and him have met personally before…if you catch my drift…allegedly of course. It was one of those comments that was just random enough to be true because Mnuchin wasn’t a focus of the article, Meghan and the former president were the focus.
I'm aware of that. I don't think it's true. Specifically, I believe the 'Meghan-declined-the-state-visit-because-Mnuchin' part isn't true.
Meghan didn't go to the reception because she wasn't invited because she was on maternity leave. She spun it as being her choice and an act of political protest (eye roll) but The Queen and the palace wouldn't have let her turn it into a political thing. If The Queen can host and be cordial with literal dictators and Camilla, Meghan can swallow her politics and go to lunch.
Quick bit of background. State visits begin with a formal welcoming/arrival ceremony and following that, there's a big luncheon with a small reception to view a small curated display of items from or about the guest's nation that the BRF has in the royal collection. Most members of the BRF (definitely all working ones, and I feel like I've seen photos of Beatrice and Eugenie there, but I may be getting mixed up) are invited to the luncheon/reception as part of the unofficial charm offensive. This is different from the state banquet, which only senior working royals attend.
So kind of looping back to the rumor that Charles may be tapping Beatrice for the upcoming Japan state visit, it's entirely possible that she may be attending the luncheon/reception, since more of the royal family attends that event, and not the actual state dinner but we'll see. Not long to wait.
(And also if you're like me and all 'wtf luncheon, can't you just say lunch' well, I did google it once and luncheon is a formal meal served midday, like a 2-course plated sit-down meal with coffee and tea service, and lunch is when it is a lighter, more casual meal, like sandwiches.)
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What Mandela effect do you have or believe
I was 100% convinced Oscar Isaac was gay and married to an art curator from New York. I don’t know or care enough about the actor to have known otherwise. The “husband” was about 10 years older than him, a ginger, and wore glasses.
I have vivid memories of Wired interviews talking about his sexual orientation ration that don’t exist. Discussions mentioned on Twitter about why Disney Star Wars “did so much” in a really hamfisted pride month PR video. Photos of him and his “husband” on the red carpet, specifically one of them at an after party drinking a thing of that blue gin. An architectural digest video of their townhouse in Brooklyn.
I thought this for years. YEARS. I assumed this was common knowledge. I referenced it. This isn’t a case of mixing up celebrities this was all shit specifically to him. It wasn’t until someone was like “wtf are you talking about” where I looked it up and felt like I’d been sent to another dimension. I just didn’t care enough about this random celebrity to have gone digging—but no, he’s married to a model and lives in Florida.
I don’t know where this constructed reality came from but it still haunts me to this day, man
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Would you have any advice for someone who wants to do what you do professionally? I graduated from undergrad two years ago, but I've been clawing uselessly at the outside of the conservation profession trying to get an entry level job or a grad school position and at this point I'm pretty demoralized, since I want to be out in the field doing things and helping.
Idk if it's a great answer but patience and constantly throwing yourself out there as much as you're able. Patience is my main advice tbh. I went into the aquarium field and that was a few years working at just a hobby shop while being a volunteer aquarist at a public aquarium, and people who have been around my blog long enough might even remember my demoralized posts as I tried to get a job. More and more internships are paid but they're still an unfortunately big part of the field, and it's not uncommon for people to go from internship to internship trying to get that foot in the door.
Coral conservation is a growing field but comes with the huge downside of internships being even MORE expensive travel wise, but necessary for the hands on experience. Most of the people I've met doing more field work heavy stuff have a masters degree so if you want more field work that'll have to be the way to go most likely.
My path was coral aquarium care, which is getting more and more overlap between captive coral stuff and the field stuff (hence me being here).
Mine went like:
-Undergrad, get interested in aquaria and cephalopods (my gateway drug into Weird Invertebrates), was bad at sitting for academia stuff so wanted to avoid that. Had more interest in animal behavior at the time but now most of my job is microbiology and chemistry, which were my worst subjects in college, go figure.
-work at a saltwater hobby store as a filler job that's still enough within my field that i can put it in my resume. Actually learned a lot of husbandry stuff and got into corals this way. A lot of coral aquarists started in a hobby store, it makes you have to get real good at learning to troubleshoot common aquarium problems.
-intern/volunteer part time at a public aquarium while working at the shop. Keep showing up, ask a lot of questions, kept applying. Curator eventually knew they didn't have a spot for me but put in a word for me at the job I'm in now, and we're still friends!
-Got my current job at age 27 shortly after I had a huge crisis about wtf I was doing in life, after a few years got established enough to go on the first field work trip, then a few years later got to join this one at 34. I know people who got into the field later and earlier than me, getting past the "I should be at X point by this age" is the greatest advice I can think of for life in general.
If you want to go the aquarium route and get field work you want to aim for a coastal aquarium or an aquarium partnered with SECORE (a specifically coral propagation organization). BUT.
BUT. this is where the patience comes in. Don't try to aim for the perfect place at the start. Go for what's available, have a goal in mind for where to go once you've gained experience. A bonus of working in aquariums is that they're so expensive to run that you don't really get "roadside aquarium" like you do in zoos. Most will get you the experience needed to move up to a place that fits what you like more, as long as you're ok with needing to move. Smaller facilities are in a way better because you're likely doing way more than just prepping food for the senior keepers.
Also I've noticed a lot of people including me in the field (both academia and aquarium) had a goal or interest in mind but stayed open to other stuff. Aim a general direction but not at a specific target ya feel me?
And if there isn't anything available, honestly those hobby shops are good for a paycheck that's in the general vicinity of marine stuff. It's not bad on a resume just to show you kept aimed in the field while looking for stuff.
#conservation#and for a lot of these youre looking at like#a few years for each step#i didnt feel established until like year 3 in my job#and things really took off for me in the past 4 years while i graduated more than 10 years ago#uh also in full honesty its mostly the coral people at our place that get to go on the SECORE trips#but i know people in most coastal places go into the field more
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okay but why is my following tab (literally the only tab i have on tumblr because fuck algorithms)... why is it suddenly showing me i apparently have more than 99 new posts in this tab? this is... less than useful data for while i’m actively scrolling? what is the value add here?
literally what use is this? it’s just giving me “you have unchecked messages” panic vibes but apparently it’s just a “there are more than 99 new posts to see since you refreshed the page and started at the top of your dash? because as you can see from the timestamp i am currently 9 hours back on my dash! because i actually have been scrolling for a while! I guess long enough for 99+ new posts to post! idgaf! i guess for folks with multiple tabs enabled it shows how many new posts are in those feeds too? how overwhelming! it was bad enough when it showed up on the lil house at the top of the page, but this is just... stressful lol i mean i don’t even want a tab there at all and yet here we are >.>
(i mean if you let me have curated tabs of MY choosing like adding a list function like on twitter i guess that could be useful for not missing specific stuff but like... wtf...)
#lol also now it's been over an hour since i started typing this#and had to run an errand so i'm only now posting it... and i guess i'm actually 10 hours behind the newest posts now#idgaf i just wanna read what happened at lunchtime! let me live!#tumblr problems
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2, 19, and 23 for the music ask game my darling senford 🎤🎶💜
kk!!! thank you for the ask my friend <33
2. what is your go-to karaoke song?
EASY!
19. what do you think is the greatest love song of all time?
GAHHH i am such on Oldies/soul/motown lover honestly truly. I think some of the most romantic songs I've ever heard are oldies - here's one that I would classify as one of the most romantic song i've ever heard:
(the other greatest love song i choose lol)
23. Do you create your own playlists? If so, how many do you have?
UUUUUUHHHH. one might say i dabble in playlist making with my 149 playlists. (HOLY FUCK DID NOT EXPECT IT TO BE THAT HIGH WTF)
what can i say! i feel any sort of specific emotion, think a gaggle of random songs belong together, i will absolutely be making a playlist! recently, i've been making playlists for my writing and one work can have like 5 playlists dedicated to it??? (which is how many AIAOF playlists i have jfc)
So yeah. Love me a little playlist curation lol.
Music Ask Game!!
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Alrighty, have a remade Pinned Post
Decided to go ahead and remake my old pinned post. This should have all the info about me you need lmao. Will probably have some copy-pasted info, this is mostly for formatting, adding extra information, and the like. Also should be easier for me to edit.
I don't use "Carrd" or whatever you people are calling it nowadays. I grew up in the era of “don’t give out personal information dear god wtf are you doing”, so this is basically going to be the only info you’ll know about me, most likely for a long time. You are not obliged to give out your legal information (age, living location, etc.) to self-entitled randos on the internet. The internet honestly shouldn't know anything about you lmao.
Also no real specific DNI, if somebody doesn't like my content then there's no need to bitch at me, and if I block somebody, this is my space first and foremost for me to curate. My blog, my choice as to what I reblog. Closest thing is that I don't trust people who make aggressive dumbass discourse/stupid in-fighting discourse 99% of their identity lmao, people like that could be actually learning about nuances and doing actual activism instead... And I'm going to leave that at that.
Seriously, stop in-fighting, you're just making it easier for jackasses to legislate you out of existence because you're divide-and-conquering/eating yourselves instead of having proper solidarity and respect for people's personal choices/experiences/variance/identity. It's getting extremely annoying. I guarantee that 99% of people outside of the community/microcommunities don't even know about all of these arbitrary distinctions/arguments, let alone care. You're just cannibalizing yourselves while alienating potential allies/potential members of your community. This world isn't black-and-white, stop stressing yourself into grey hairs before the age of 16, what the fuck.
Shipping/fanfiction discourse is stupid. Don't come to me about shipping/fanfiction discourse. None of the terms used in the "greater" discourse mean anything, they're vague, ephemeral, and easy to rewrite. Both "sides" are ridiculous and filled with jackasses and fools, both have serious problems with using abuse survivors as "gotchas" against the other, being racist, queerphobic, xenophobic, and literally every other prejudice under the sky, and not having any discipline, tact, or the ability to mind their own damn business. Both sides need to learn some self-awareness, proper tagging (especially if being posted in a public forum), proper blacklisting, and that 90% of the shit they're fighting about doesn't matter in non-fanfic media spaces. I don't consider myself to be on either "side" because my experience with people who get so wrapped up in it has been overwhelmingly negative and with people on both sides accusing me of being on their opposite side. There's a lot more nuance here. Some people just read things in bad faith, whether it be through ignorance, being deliberately malicious, or the story just being really badly written. It's ridiculous.
If you have no unique icon+description+content when following me, I'm probably going to report you as a bot. I know about this place's bot problem (and the forms the bots can take) and don't really like taking chances on that.
I also do not share donation posts. Those are not my wheelhouse and I can never tell if it's a scam or not.
Other than that, if I think you're annoying and/or the like, I block. I've been getting more liberal with my blocking lately.
Name: [REDACTED]. I am not giving out real names, what the fuck? Just call me Brackets, though I still respond to Ashlynnii and sometimes to Frost/Ashes (i.e. my Steam username).
Just try to figure out my pronouns lmao. I don't really give any fucks, this is the internet and again, nobody is entitled to that information. I'm honestly fine with anything that isn't neos/xenos.
Also, Asexual (I think... I've don't really recall ever having sexual attraction to anyone, real-or-fake) and [still-figuring-it-out]romantic. 👍
I’m all over the damn place with my fandoms, honestly. That’s for you to figure out. I also feel gender envy for unhinged middle-aged/old men lmao.
I draw and write, though I only post my writings on DeviantArt due to their… strange content. Art tag(s) here are “Brackets Draws” and “Brackets's Art”. For original text posts I use "Brackets Talks", for posting original video game-related stuff that isn't art I use "Brackets Games", if I make a poll I use "Brackets Polls", and if I add something to a post in a reblog (and not just ramble in the tags) I use "Brackets Adds". If I tag something “lmao” it means I’m filing it under “funny”.
...Politics has been heating up more and more lately, so if you don't want to see when I reblog stuff like that, then watch out for the "politics" and "discourse" tags.
Misc. interests include memes, being a furry (just have a fursona, not really a fursuit-er or the like. Fursona’s name is Brackets.) and Transformation content. No, not bloody Transformers, Transformation! They’re different! That’s what my “strange content” that I write about on DA is about, and I also make memes of it on Reddit/YouTube. It’s commonly just called “TF”. If you look in my TF folder on DA… be warned! Weird shit! I post it to Reddit (on a specific subreddit), but I don’t post it on Tumblr! I've seen enough people brigading against TF content exclusively on this site way too much for me to risk drawing in those asses. If you post weirdo horny comments on them you're getting cursed out lmao.
Now to list off other places you can find my content:
DeviantArt - Newgrounds - Reddit - Youtube - Art Fight - Toyhou.se - Neocities (Still huge WIP)
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So I know my dash here is very specifically curated BUT NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT BANKS CRASHING IN THE US???? Silicon Valley Bank failed on Thursday and then of course the stock markets did too. The bank was also backing a lot of tech and crypto business so crypto crashed as well, including stable coins which are supposed to be backed 1:1 with dollars. There’s fear of other banks crashing. FDIC insures all US bank account holders up to $250,000 but Silicon Valley tech bros had a helluva lot more than that in their accounts.
And look at this picture pulled from F*x News
The president of the fail bank was also on the Board of Directors for the Federal Reserve of San Francisco. Which makes me want to vomit actually. WTF are these clowns doing to the economy???? Working people might not be getting their next paycheck.
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my Youtube algorithm is acting weird all of a sudden?
I know that if you watch anything political - even if it's the most far left thing possible - YouTube will try pushing right-wing stuff 'cause it doesn't sub-categorize politics like it should. But my YouTube for years has been good at not doing that. Like, for a long time, it'd be rare to see conservative videos in my sidebar. The only exception was ads (even tho I specifically curated my Google ads and marked "politics" as a topic I DID NOT wanna see). I would binge a new commentary channel and the only other channel recommendations I'd get were people actually like them, not the opposite end of the political aisle.
All of a sudden, the last few days, I'm seeing some channels popping up in my recommended that are just... I have no idea why YouTube is bringing them up with me. A majority have been conservative to conservative-leaning, although a few for some reason have been kids content/kids educational and one in a language I don't speak and have never watched YouTube videos in that language?
I have scrolled my YouTube history to see wtf could have triggered all this and getting nothing obvious. I've gone quite awhile not watching any political video essays (got into other things + needed to take a mental break) and recently watched a few, which may have been misinterpreted by the algorithm? Like maybe before it never went outta whack 'cause I was consistent in what specifically I was watching, but suddenly accidentally "detoxing" the algorithm and going back might've made it forget what my politics are? Doesn't explain the non-political anomalies tho.
The only significant change to my account's habits is that I've been letting my mom watch paranormal channels through it (since sometimes videos get restricted meaning you can't watch without an account). That's caused my recommended to get flooded with the channels she's watched and stuff similar, but I don't particularly mind that. I've watched paranormal content myself (Wendigoon, Buzzfeed Unsolved, Night Mind) but my mom's going for a completely different genre (the ghost hunters with the all-caps titles and shocked faces in the thumbnails); I wouldn't watch it myself but I wouldn't kick her off over it. But combing through my history, she hasn't touched anything but the paranormal stuff, so she shouldn't be the cause for the anomalies. Can't be a third party who's gotten into my account either, otherwise it would show up - and if they tried deleting their marks on the history to cover their tracks, well that would also delete that data for the algorithm to use.
So like I'm left wondering wtf is going on all of a sudden? I guess it's still not completely out of the question that somehow the paranormal content is making YouTube think "ah then these conservative commentary / right-wing memers will also be of interest!". I'm also wondering if maybe there's some quiet changes being made that this is a symptom of, which is why I'm putting this out there to see if anyone else is noticing anything unusual suddenly happening to their algorithm with no clear trigger for it. I've tried googling, but I get stuff from a few years ago, and answers that don't seem to fit the situation.
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To the people who unfollowed me because of what went down: I'm sorry but like. I'm very loudly a Pro Shipper so wtf did you think you were following, here?
The the new peeps following me: as long as we respect each other everything will be fine. This a Ship and Let Ship, Kinkmato, Curate Your Own Experience area. Stuff will be tagged but if you need something specific please let me know
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Social media (Instagram specifically) reallllyyyyyy drains me
Constantly scrolling, always up to date with what people are doing, an overload of content and media to consume, an overwhelming amount of information to keep up with, oh did my crush DM me yet? Oh did he post a story? wtf how did SHE get married?? Will I ever find a companion? Hmmm I feel the need to curate myself and update people with what I’m doing and get some validation. oh let’s see what my classmates are doing. Let me ruin the moment to take a pic for my potential ‘dump’. Oh my life’s not that interesting but it’s enough for me… ooooh look this person is doing more than me. Fuck. Why not take an edible and float away? But wait did my crush post anything? Let me check let me check let me check let me ch-
#like damn why am I genuinely suffering using an application???#I deactivated but I know I have to reactive for the sake building my network#but I’m gonna mute everyone except my close friends and actual beneficial accounts
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ok deleted this on my main cause that was a bit Too personal. but i am literally such an angry and petty person. i get upset sooo much like about stupid things. if anything does Not go my way or the way i specifically planned it to go i will lose my mind. i was called a crybaby a lot in elementary cause its fucking true lol i get upset very very easily and this can make me be very mean.
HOWEVER. this is deflected with my ability to Not hold onto any emotions longer than a few minutes. so i can just. Leave. i can go on a walk or do whatever and then im fine. i have poor impulse control but enough sense to just. do ofher stuff when i start getting upset. so im not one of Those people online whod respond to smth with like an entire essay and get needlessly upset whatever before pulling the guilt trip thing cause they want sympathy. i Could be. very close to being. but i am self aware
theres no real point to this just now i am sitting here shaking like an agitated chihuahua opening and closing my hands so i dont snap
i lied. im talking more LOL but also its like at the same time i cant just. Talk with people about why im upset because then thats gonna make me even More upset and im not great with communicating so people misunderstand what im tryinf to say which upsets me More. and while i cry a lot when that happens i also like. get physically angry. like i want to yell and throw things around but i cant do rhat cause then im being like my mum
its hard to grapple as someone who expresses and feels (like. mentally feels. emofions happen but i only am aware ro a limited degree) very little how Angry i can be. like my best friend has anger issues (tho hes gotten help for that), my cousin has anger issues and severe adhd, my mother is bipolar. so like im surrounded with people who experience that stuff but there was always just a degree of seperation when it came to me. like an outward and inward perception that doesnt match wtf is going on inside.
idk! idk. it feels weird talking abt it cause like the degrees ive gotten to curate my life to Prevent that from happening. like an unconscious choice to stop myself from being super upset by cuttinf people off or dropping out of school or being very limited in my online engagement with people or my interests. cause nothing good happens when youre angry i know that cause i grew up in it.
that being said i am tryinf very very hard not to be petty and mean about stuff i see on tumblr but certain constant trends are Incredibly upsetting me and i am two steps away from snapping. thank god i have limited followers so i can snap into the void in peace but still.
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