#this was brought to you by a child neglect victim btw

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Miles Edgeworth

Ace Attorney fandom try not to reduce characters to a single aspect of their personality challenge. Admittedly Edgeworth does go through a character arc that redeems him but the first game does indeed bring up the fact he uses fake evidence to get possibly innocent people convicted which is never brought up in fandom spaces. Or when it is people blame it entirely on Manfred von Karma's influence. (Another character people consider to be the devil incarnate btw. I didn't submit him because he actually is terrible but people just make shit up to make him seem worse which is a different problem I think). But anyway. Guys. Edgeworth is a grown man who can make his own decisions. You can't just blame all his actions on his shitty adoptive father. He felt so guilty about the stuff he did he nearly killed himself over it. I love him too but. AA1 Edgeworth is not a poor perfect innocent victim I'm sorry.

Haruka Sakurai

Haruka's story is that of a neglected child trying desperately to gain the attention of his mother, killing multiple animals until he eventually kills a little girl of currently unknown relation. He struggles a lot with communication and is heavily implied to have a learning disability, possibly in relation to this. ...Most of the fandom treats him as incapable of doing anything for himself or others, and also appear to generally just treat him as sad shy and can do no wrong.

[calciumcryptid]

Warnings: Spoilers for Craig of the Creek Scoutguest, Discussions of Child Abuse

I recently watched the twenty-third episode in season four of Craig of the Creek, and I've noticed a lot of discussion around Craig's attitude in it being described as meanspirited or rude.

While I do agree that the episodes placement feels wrong, I find Craig's behavior to be a realistic reflection of a child's reaction to hosting another child they don't really know well.

Let me explain.

In Scoutguest, the audience learns Jason undergoing child abuse in the form of neglect. While this fact isn't outright stated, the audience is able to infer this information throughout. Not to mention, this revelation has been alluded to many times in the series. Particularly in the episodes The Great Fossil Rush, The End Was Here, and in Alternate Creekiverse.

As Craig of the Creek is meant to be viewed episodically, I do not blame anyone who did not see this revelation coming as it is a drop in an ocean of content.

That being said, the writers clearly thought out this episode if the interactions between Jason and the other characters are anything to go by such as him flinching at Craig and Bernard's arguing, apologizing to Nicole Williams, and his confusion about the family eating together.

The beauty of these interactions is how each of the Williams show real world reactions to a child who is undergoing abuse.

Bernard and Jessica are blissfully unaware, noting how mature a person is compared to the rest of their age group due to their survival instincts in different ways. Jessica takes a shine to Jason's knowledge, and Bernard to Jason's obedience.

Nicole understands fully what is going on, and tries to provide a comforting environment and support system as temporary escapism. Duane is similar in this way, even if he was confused at first.

That leads us to Craig's reaction, which is the most interesting due to how realistic it is. Craig knows Jason as an antagonistic force, and suddenly he has to start treating him nicely without a reason why.

This is emphasized constantly with Craig insisting the two are simply acquaintances for most of the episode, and being grumpy about having to host Jason despite knowing his antagonistic side.

Cause Craig doesn't pick up on what the audience knows, so he doesn't know that his parents trying to get him to play nice with Jason are from a place of genuine concern for the boy.

After all, children are a lot smarter then we give them credit for but they speak in the truth. Children are brutally honest, so without explicit reason Craig is left confused.

TL;DR: Scoutguest showcases realistic reactions to a child who is undergoing abuse, and Craig is realistic in the sense he has to play nice with someone he has viewed as an antagonistic force essentially solely experiencing the negative sides of Jason's mental health.

[pandajaye]

Todoroki Family Ties (Part 9)

Characters: Enji Todoroki, Stepmom!OC!Ivy (Ivy is black btw), Child!Shoto Todoroki, Teen!Touya Todoroki, Preteen!Fuyumi, Child!Natsuo

Fandom: My Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia

Warnings: pregnancy, hospital, hysteria, child abuse, Aquaphobia, upset child, abusive family, neglect

“Enji, it’s okay. Please try to calm down. Everything is going to be fine.” Ivy comforted her husband, putting a hand on his leg in an attempt to keep it from bouncing so much. “I know, I know. Just a little nervous, that’s all.” He sighed, looking down at his hands while he rubbed his palms. They were the only ones in the room right now. It was cold and white everywhere apart from the delightful little flower clusters. The atmosphere was mostly quiet except for the tapping of keyboards and damp sounds of phones ringing in some of the offices.

“I mean…. what if it’s true? How could I be so careless? I should’ve been thinking clearly. I should’ve thought more about you. Things were just finally going so right and I was so distracted by excitement. So many good things were falling in to place. It’s…. It’s all my fault that we’re here today.” He brought her hand up from his thigh and kissed her knuckles. “Please, forgive me.” All she could do was smile at how nervous he was. “Forgive you for what, baby? Nothing bad has happened. Being here is a big part of the journey. It’s where our path is decided for us. I’m excited. You should be, too.”

Enji wrapped his arms around her with a tight squeeze. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” She always did know how to make the best of a situation that seemed frightening. Maybe it was the way of words. Maybe it was the sweet and calm voice that did it for him. Whatever it was, he was happy to be able to access it. Having her next to him was going to make this move a lot smoother, and he couldn’t ask for anything better right now.

Their moment of peace was interrupted by a nurse dressed in lovely pink scrubs. “Todoroki?” Her voice was gentle and nice as well as her smile while she patiently waited for the two to stand and follow her. On the way to their room, Ivy glanced into the rooms they passed. In one, a couple was finding out some good news. They looked excited. In another, a woman seemed to be having a good check up. And the last one was different than the other two. A woman leaned against her sad husband as she cried. The doctor also had a sad and sympathetic look on her face. Those sure were some interesting situations to witness. Which one would represent her and Enji’s?

“This room right here. Doctor Akari will be right with you.” The two parties bowed to each other before she left and they entered the room. Enji looked around the room and sighed. It was so weird to be here again. The rooms had changed a bit since the last time he was on this same floor seven years ago. ‘Wow. Seven. I’m getting old.’ He was quickly brought back to reality by Ivy. “I’m really glad we’re here today. This is good.” Her smile brought so much ease to him. How lucky is he to have someone like her.

A quiet knock on the door gathered their attention. In walked an older woman. Her hair was still a dark brown so she couldn’t have been that much older but you could see some of the age in her kind face. There was a bit of height difference between them, her being taller than Ivy, shorter than Enji of course. She carefully closed the door behind her before setting her chart on the table and introducing herself. “I’m Dr. Akari, nice to meet you today, Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki.” She shook their hands and continued. “Amazing, I never thought I’d be meeting, let alone working for the number two hero. I guess dreams do come true.” Enji blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Heh. Always nice to meet a fan.”

“So. We’re here for a verification today, correct? How are you feeling? Mrs. Todoroki, is this your first?” Ivy nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I-I’ve really never been in any type of situation like this before. I’m excited and kinda nervous. Sorry.” Dr. Akari held Ivy’s hands in her own. “Sweetheart. You don’t need to apologize. Being nervous is apart of this. A big part. That’s not to say that it’ll be a bad experience. It is what you make it. And I have so much faith that this is going to be an amazing and beautiful new part of your life. You’re going to be great at this.” Her smile was warm and reassuring. Maybe everything really will be okay. “Should we get this thing started?” Ivy looked at Enji and back at Dr. Akari with a grin. “Let’s do it.”

The test and results took no time at all to come back to them. “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki. You’re having a baby.” Excitement quickly grew on Ivy’s face, brown eyes big and full of tears when she looked at Enji who hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head. “Wonderful news! Wonderful! Wonderful!” He was so energetic and happy like a child himself. The fifth child and he’s still taken aback as if it’s his first. Ivy stayed a little calmer herself. “I’m so happy. This is everything I’ve ever wanted…. A dream come true.” The doctor hugged Ivy when Enji finally pulled away. “I’m so happy for you two. You have my full adoration. I know you’re going to be an amazing mother. Before you know it, you’ll have a quirky and spontaneous bundle of joy in your arms.” Ivy froze.

‘….Quirky?’

Enji thanked the doctor a few more times before leaving and while they walked to the car, he noticed something was off about Ivy. She kept her gaze towards the ground and hadn’t said a word since leaving the doctor’s office. After a short walk they arrived at the car, Ivy got in the passenger seat and patiently waited for Enji to get in and close his door. As soon as the car door shut, Ivy broke down hysterically… “FUCK! FUCK! FUCKING! FUCK!” Honestly, it scared him a bit. She was fine a few minutes ago and now she’s upset? “IVY? WHAT’S WRONG?” She started hyperventilating, forcing him to pull Ivy into his lap and hold her. “Breathe! Breathe. Slow down. In….. Out….” It took a minute before she could match his breathing. Eventually, they were in sync and she began to calm down and got back into the passenger seat.

“Alright. What in the hell was that?” He didn’t mean to sound irritated, he was just genuinely confused about what just manifested. “I-I’m sorry but…. I-I can’t do this. I-I-I can’t be a mom.” Tears were still falling but she tried to wipe them away as fast as they came. “Wha…. What do you mean?” His brows were furrowed and his face contorted. “Enji…. I-I was so excited at first. And, I still am in some ways…. But…. what happens when…. w-when we have this child…. and they don’t have a quirk because of me? I wasn’t even thinking about it until Dr. Akari said the word quirky and all of a sudden it hit me. My child is going to be weak because of me…. They’re going to hate me. I know you want a strong child with a strong quirk but I-…. I-I can’t give you that.”

To be honest, he hadn’t thought of it either. But that was the old him anyways. He’s grown since then. Quirks aren’t everything to him anymore. Just her. Just his family. No matter what skills they had or didn’t have. He loves them in every aspect. “Ivy…. I don’t need you to give me that. I want you to be happy and healthy. I want to have this child with you no matter what happens. As long as you’re both okay, that’s what’s important. I know how I used to be. And I’m still sorry and trying to atone for it. I’m learning and growing every day because of you. I appreciate and love you so much.” His large hand held her cheek as he searched her eyes for a sign that she understood him.

A wave of safety washed over her as she leaned into his hand. So much calm after one random storm. “You’re right. You are learning. You have grown. And I am beyond proud of you. I’m sorry for my outburst. It wasn’t all about you. Being quirkless has always been a problem for me. Way before me and you. You’ve improved in ways that…. he never did.” Her gaze shifted to her feet when thoughts and feelings she had long ago returned. “Who?” When her gaze came back her eyes were brimming with tears of numb pain.“My dad….”

From a very young age, Ivy was victim to some of the most impactful abuse that young girls have suffered for centuries. Familial. Being the outcast, the one child that didn’t make the cut. Worked hard and reprimanded for occurrences out of her power. Her power. The center of everything and the reason for her suffering. More commonly known as a quirk, her ability should have been water manipulation. It ran in her family. They’ve always been connected to it all. Oceans, lakes, rain, dew, snow. A gene for telekinesis brought in from one of her great great grandparents but no one remembers which one.

“LET’S GO, LET’S GO, LET’S GO!” Nami James Emaraki, Ivy’s father, blew hard into his whistle. It’s not that common for a ten-year old to have to do burpees and laps on a Saturday morning. Especially since she’s not training for anything. “YOU SLACK AND I SWEAR ITS ANOTHER TEN LAPS!! YOU ALREADY MISSED BREAKFAST SINCE YOU WANNA SLEEP IN, I’M PERFECTLY FINE WITH YOU MISSING LUNCH CAUSE I’LL STILL EAT BUT YOU WON’T!!!!” He wasn’t kidding either. That threat wasn’t the least bit empty.

“I-” Her foot slipped and caused her to face plant. She lifted her head and a stream of blood ran from her nose. “OW! UGH! H-Help, please!” Rolling his eyes, he stomped over to her, grabbing a fist full of her hair. “Sure, I’ll help you. Usually salt water helps with things like that. Let’s get you a lot of salt water.” He looked at the pool and smiled. “How about 10 ft?” Panic flooded her entire body so quickly it almost made her dizzy. Or maybe that was from the quick face plant and loss of blood.

“N-No! Please!” Ignoring her, he began dragging her to the deep end of their pool. “I’m so sorry, I can keep going! I can keep going! Daddy I can keep going!” She couldn’t help but cry and scream for forgiveness because he always had such a terrible punishment for her. The closer they got the more she struggled. “DADDY PLEASE! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE NO! NO-” He tossed her in with a grunt and picked up his stopwatch. “Hurry up. You don’t wanna drown, use your quirk to get out!”

But that was the issue. Ivy was quirkless. It never showed up when it was supposed to. They hoped she was a late bloomer but it wasn’t looking very hopeful. Her father and uncle did everything they can to bring it out of her. They were so close they moved into two joint houses for each of their families, between the two homes, a facility with a large indoor pool that they used to coach swimming and have opened for water sports and activities. Every child in their family has used this pool to get better at their quirks. But Ivy was the only one forced into fearing it, unlike her siblings and cousins.

The eldest children were Ivy’s older twin brother and sister who were six years older than her, as well as a male cousin four years older than her. They were taught everything with care and detail. How to swim, how to make waves, etc. Next, her cousin that was but a few months older than her. He also experienced the life of being the middle child like her. Ivy was born next. Treated like all the other kids until she reached the age where quirks usually had already appeared in their family.

Four. When the family pediatrician attempted to explain that her quirk would never come in due to an extra joint in her foot, that of which the absence of would determine if the power would ever come in. Her father was so upset when they got home, he grabbed her by the ankles and dunked her in the water a few times before dropping her in the 5 feet. Her mother stood and watched as paramedics revived Ivy, pretending very well to be concerned.

Yet, here he is now. Watching her sink as she loses oxygen. Destined to be a corpse at the bottom of the pool. But just before tragedy could wrap her up in its claws, her father washed her back onto the side of the pool with a wave. There she laid in a puddle, lungs full of water. “So damn dramatic.” Unrightfully annoyed, he preformed mouth to mouth and saved her, smacking her when she accidentally spit up water in his face. “You’re a disgusting excuse for a daughter. But just you wait, you’ll be a hero soon enough. And you’re gonna be supporting your family after we’ve been so supportive of you. Get your ass up and come inside when you’re through acting like something wrong with you.”

Nami didn’t even look back after he started walking way. He didn’t care if she ever got up. To him, she has two options in life. Become a top pro-hero. Or die. And some days, she wished he wouldn’t save her. Some days she wanted to stay at the bottom of that pool knowing she wouldn’t be able to breathe. Ivy couldn’t help but wonder, what’s the point of living if your entire family is already disappointed in you?

During lunch, her mother Eimi asked her about today’s training. “How did it go today, Ivy?” She smiled, looking between her and her father. Ivy didn’t want to answer so she kept her mouth shut. “Ivy, your mama is talking to you. Answer her.” His fist slammed down on the table. The back of her throat burned from swallowing her need to cry. “Ivy? Answer her, girl, can you not hear?!” She flinched at him raising his voice. With a quiet sigh, Ivy spoke, carefully trying not to let her voice crack. “It w-was fine, mommy. But….” She couldn’t take it anymore. She had to speak up.

“B-BUT DADDY TRIED TO KILL MEEEEE!!” Cries broke out of her throat. “CONTROL YOUR DAMN VOLUME RIGHT NOW!” He tried to grab her arm but she ducked out of the way. “MAMA I FELL AND HURT MY FACE AND MY NOSE WAS BLEEDING AND HE THREW ME IN THE POOL AND ALMOST LET ME DROOOOOOWN!!!!” Tears dripped from her chin as she trembled and sobbed. Eimi just looked at Nami and shrugged. “Well, Ivy. Maybe if you stopped pretending your quirk isn’t there, you could have saved yourself. So I don’t want to hear it.” Ivy was horrified and offended by every word out of her mother’s mouth. “WHAT? BUT MOMMY-” “THAT’S ENOUGH! YOU’RE GOING TO YOUR ROOM!” Before she could run, he grabbed her and carried her to her room as she struggled. “I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT!!” Once the door slammed close, she hugged one of her stuffed animals tight and cried. And cried. And cried. Until she cried herself to sleep.

Ivy had ever only known Hell on Earth. Her siblings before her were treated with respect. Even her baby brother and even younger baby sister got to see the best from their parents. Ivy was the one that they wanted to depend on. Their goals for her were to make her one of the most famous Pro-Heroes ever. Then use her paycheck to further their lives. She would put them on the map and be their little bank. But the older she got, the more she fought back. Until finally they realized she’d never be able to help them anyways.

Ivy was shunned and kicked out of her home. Forced to learn the way of the world. She made her way through three nice jobs and even college. Out of all the smoke and fire, she emerged through her trials and tribulations and began working at Endeavor’s agency. Her hardships didn’t end there but shortly after, everything started to work out for her.

Her past was filled with evil but it never influenced her to become a bad person even after never getting her quirk. She realized that quirks never really mattered. It was the love that she never received. Love that she’ll be giving to this baby. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if her child ever had to go through what she went through.

The world outside was so beautiful as they drove home. She looked at Enji and smiled. He sparkled in the sunlight. Those beautiful blue eyes focusing on the road while he held her hand up and kissed it. “You’re gonna be okay, Ivy. I love you so much. You’re going to be a great mom. And, I hope i can be a great father. On the fifth try.” The reassurance made her grin. “Thank you, Enji. Thank you.”

[htptherapyjournal]

When the Dr Hands Over a Stapled Information Packet-- on Trauma

It’s been a while since I’ve made a post. I have to say that I am now doing so much better than I was two years ago. I’ve gotten over my scumbag ex boyfriend and realize his behavior and methods of dealing with stress aren’t healthy and were emotionally abusive at times. He still continues to talk about how “crazy” I am while he is literally wasting away playing video games non-stop on prescribed amphetamines. I have heard he looks so thin that his hair is starting to fall out or thin. I almost had the urge to text and ask him if he was really okay or not. Looking back, I am mortified that I continued seeing him. That relationship really did teach me a lot about who I decide to emotionally invest in, how to address a conflict without hurting the person you care about, boundaries... everything. I guess this is what they mean when people come into your life for a reason. I spent a year being single and just dating. Just little dates. Now after six months I am dating a great guy I don’t need, but want around. He makes me feel sound when I am with him.  Of course I told my new therapist everything that had been happening in my life. In addition to finding a healthy relationship, I also applied at a chain drug store for my Pharmacy Technician Certification and I think I have a good shot at the job. The same day I applied, my dad had his prostate removed and is now 100% cancer free according to the pathology report. We had also won a car and my new beau wanted me to meet his family. Most would consider the good news and steps forward as positive changes, right? It was definitely stress, but it was good stress. Right? That night, when I wanted to study further for my certification exam, I had the most tense drive to get rid of all the ingrown hairs on my body, make sure my face was blackhead/pimple free, and scratch out the dry skin (dandruff) around the areas that felt grainy or brittle. From 11:00pm to almost 6:00AM, I spent in my bed hunched over picking out each individual public hair with a pair of bloody tweezers and a safety pin to help dig out the ingrown hairs. My nose is still healing from trying to dig out the tiniest blackhead most would just treat with toner. I could have done my regular makeup routine, and even I would forget it’s there. I was so tense I couldn’t stop. I would take breaks, but it only lead me going back and forth to the same hunched position either over by the mirror or on the bed. The worst part was that I didn’t know why it had happened. I couldn’t pinpoint what triggered the event. I was shocked because it just happened and I hadn’t had an episode this extreme in such a long time. It was definitely not like the mini episodes that I usually encounter usually when I’m tired driving home or watching TV. So I brought it up to my new therapist (who is amazing, btw). She asked me how I feel when the episodes take place. I couldn’t tell her. I remember not feeling anything. Like, if you looked down my throat, you would find me daydreaming at the bottom of my torso. It felt like my body being flown by the rookie copilot while the pilot took the biggest shit of his life. Sure, the copilot passed with flying colors, but that straight face doesn’t stop his palms from sweating. Even thinking now, that’s not entirely the correct emotion either. When I experienced the episode or a episode, it starts off as anxiety, but it goes away so quickly. Something shocking happens and I shut down temporarily. Kind of like when I put the computer to sleep instead of shutting it down or when my eyes get fixated on staring at a particular object or direction. All of me is still there, my mind just goes into a blank meditative state. My therapist then asked me if I could remember any other times where I experienced feeling numb/blank. Boy, could I list so many events, and I did. But I remember the first time I ever shut down.  I told her events that happened to me in my old neighborhood from when I was in preschool up until 1st grade. My parents are hardworking people. They did everything in their power to make sure I had what I needed while still moving forward for a better life. This also meant leaving me in the care of others while she went to work, school, or both, usually early in the morning. My dad was also a truck driver who drove across the country. He’s been to every state at least twice (except Alaska Hawaii), so sometimes he would be gone for a couple of months at a time. During the summer I mostly stayed at my grandparents house. I consider them my second parents. I’m not upset about being passed around. I had fun by myself and with my grandparents and other family members. 

That’s the funny thing about ‘trauma.’ Hearing the word makes me and probably most think about physical abuse, rape and sexual assault, assault in any form, witnessing tragic events, and especially those who have come back from war. But what about experiencing endangerment, neglect, and abuse from the caregiver chosen by the parent? What if the caregiver allows their or other children (the victims peers) to cause distress to the target/victim? I have constant flashbacks of being teased, tortured, and exposed to content that should be talked about with a parent or explained by a fifth grade teacher via the most awkward video you will ever watch with your class. When my mother would drop me off to the neighbors house early in the morning, she would let me watch tv downstairs by myself while she went back up to bed and didn’t come back down until she was ready to leave. In between that time, her two children would come down and at first it started as her son (who was my age) teasing me which evolved into constant bullying, that turned into stealing and isolation. There was nothing I could do. I called for help so often, the mother eventually told me to, “stop being such a tattle-tale.” Well, it eventually got to the point where her youngest child didn’t understand that her older brother didn’t really hate me as much as she thought he did. She took matters into her own hands (literally) and chased me around the room with a yellow baseball bat until she cornered me between a wall and a fake potted plant. The daughter looked genuinely furious. Her eyes were so wide and her teeth where clenched together. I knew right then that this wasn’t bullying anymore; she ACTUALLY wanted to hurt me. I was pretty much in the potted plant when her brother screamed, “NOOOO!DON’T!” right as she brought the bat down and hit me.  Before the big event, I was five or six when I had cried to my parents about the bullying while eating breakfast before being dropped off at their house. I told my parents I couldn’t do it anymore and cried about how miserable I was, but it didn’t matter. The neighbors I got dropped off to in the morning were my parents only way of getting me to school while they worked. The last thing I remember about that day was the son giving me a big hug and holding me as I cried as his mom yelled at his sister and tried to figure out what was going on in her house. I realized what was happening to me was not okay or my fault, but there was nothing I could do about it and that’s when I shut down.  My therapist verified that what happened to me in my old neighborhood was traumatic. She said were I used to live and who used to care for me was not a safe place or safe people. It also made a lot of sense when she suggested that how I cope with stress and how I interact with others comes from how I learned to cope with stress and interact with others as a child in my old neighborhood. It kinda shocked me when she actually handed me a packet to read for our next visit. She advised that I begin practicing grounding techniques when I experience anxiety. I get to work on dealing with what happened to me once and for all and correct the way I handle stress.  I can’t wait to tackle it. <3