#this was basically a one liner but i like the context

[ao3screenshotss]

[grievedifferent]

❝ oh ... you know hata ... ren-san, right? he said i should be expecting you. ❞ akira looks at his phone's screen, re-reading the order yori had texted him. it's not a real service the store offers, but it is a service that akira offers to yori. yori is busy in ways that akira will never understand. this is the least he can do for his friend. his face flushes, placing both bags on the counter space between them. ❝ er, just tell him it's paid for already. he doesn't have a tab today. ❞

akira rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

❝ everything he asked for is in there ... ❞ drinks, snacks, cigarettes, and alcohol. akira doesn't ask, but he assumes half is for the breakroom at the club, while the other half is probably for yori himself. he looks at his own open can of coffee that's set to the side, feeling a bit parched under the pressure. ❝ i didn't know what you liked, so if you want, you can pick something out for yourself. i don't care. ❞ // * @hiisfire liked for a starter from fujita akira

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

I'm almost done with part 3 of Blacksmith's Daughter.

But I have once more found myself weak against the headcanons and giggling uncontrollably at my own train of thought.

So this time

What would happen if you found yourself with a bag o' weed?

Whatever here we feckinGOOO

Because I Got High

OPLA!Zoro, Sanji, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy X Reader

Headcanons

NSFW because context and stuff

♫♬Creepin Up The Backstairs - The Fratellis♬♫

Don't just say yes to tease me, do your utmost to please me

I don't mean to be sleazy, being you can't be easy

Zoro

"I mean, I've never tried it, but...."

Never done this before, usually have to have friends to introduce you to this sort of thing, and he was fairly lacking in the friend department until recently.

But basically, the hell with it, why not?

Just watching you roll it up in curiosity and borderline nervousness—

No, he's not nervous, shut up.

First hit and he's trying not to cough up a lung, shoving at you while you giggle about it.

Once it hits, he's in absolute awe of...well, basically everything.

Has never been so relaxed in his entire life what is this sorcery?

Falling back into his favorite hammock and pulling you down with him, just staring up at the ceiling in wonder.

Mentions after several minutes of silence that he can't feel his teeth and then just dissolves into hysterical laughter.

Cannot stop grinning, so comfortable and at ease with everything, kissing at your temple and your neck and pulling you closer against him.

Literally just wants to cuddle at this point, not anything more than that. Just lay there and hold you close, relax, breathe you in and enjoy the warmth and comfort of your body against his.

"....Fuck."

Sanji

"Excuse me, you have what? Oh, this is going to be fun."

He's worked in a professional kitchen. This is not his first rodeo.

Also, hand over the ganja. You're not smoking it, you're cooking with it. Or in actuality, infusing it into butter and cooking with that, to ensure even distribution.

Again. Not his first rodeo. Whatever he does come up with, be it brownies or cookies or are those churros???, you know he knows what he's doing.

Just leaves plates of edibles laid out across the kitchen of the Merry, and no one knows but the two of you.

Luffy eats an entire plate of brownies and is practically in a coma fifteen minutes later, laying sprawled out on the deck and pointing at a cloud every so often to comment on what it looks like.

Nami and Usopp sitting in the corner, alternating between giggling and dying in laughter at the pitiful state of their captain.

Zoro decided he was going to wash dishes for some reason, but you're pretty sure he's been scrubbing the same plate for five minutes.

You and Sanji standing off in another corner, leaning over each other and cracking up at the chaos you have managed to wreak among the crew.

And it gives the two of you the perfect opportunity to slip off to bed, which you definitely don't waste.

As flirty and playful as he is on a normal basis is doubled right now, and whether you're giggling or moaning beneath him, he's absolutely thrilled with the outcome of this endeavor.

"Oh, so much fun...." 

Shanks

"Oh, sweetheart, we are going to the moon."

Do you even have to ask?

The second you tell him you found a bag of the green in the contraband hold in the Marine ship you just sunk, he's grinning like an idiot.

Grabbing you, an officer or two, leaving someone else in charge for a while, and you're all smoking out the captain's cabin.

Thirty minutes later, amid the haze of smoke, Benn's sitting in the corner just staring at his hands in borderline terror. No thoughts, just oh dear gods hands.

Yasopp's doubled over the map table, laughing hysterically at something Shanks said five minutes ago.

Shanks has pulled you on top of him on his bed, arm curled around you, kissing you slowly, no worry at all of any other parties present.

But every so often, his head drops down to his pillows, and he spouts off some high-wisdom one-liner, and just stares off into space for a moment in wonder.

"If...if you drop a bar of soap on the floor...is the soap dirty, or is the floor clean?"

Mihawk

"You have what? Why?"

Disapproving stare.

Well, he might have dabbled in his younger years (no it had nothing to do with Shanks quit asking), but not for quite some time.

It dampens his senses, it's not worth the trouble.

But...maybe it wouldn't hurt, just this once.

Ten minutes later, he's laid back across his bed, arm curled around you, completely at one with everything.

Just staring up at the ceiling, thinking.

Everything makes perfect sense, everything is one, and it's just delightful.

If you need advice about anything, now is the time to ask, because all the secrets of the universe are now his.

He has no idea how far gone he actually is and honestly it's pretty hilarious.

Glares at you when you point it out—before giving a snort-laugh and agreeing with you.

It's a rarity that you get to see him this relaxed and unbothered, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Definitely initiate a make-out session; he's going to take it very slow, and very thorough, savoring you even more than he usually would.

"Mmm, you taste divine, little one...."

Buggy

"Are you serious? Oh, hell yes—"

Eyes light up like a kid at Christmas, you have what?!?!

Oh, he's down as a clown.

He literally said that line, and then grinned so hard that you almost don't want to shove him overboard for it.

He's more than prepared to make sure there are munchies available—mainly chocolate, since he has a serious sweet tooth.

Taking a toke and then kissing along your neck, making you giggle.

Unlike drinking, this is a private affair, just you and him. You're the only one who gets to see this side of him.

Making you giggle gives him life, so he's going to be murmuring stupid jokes in your ear in between trying to make you moan, and he'll settle for either.

"Ooh, yeah, that's it, baby—just give me what's mine."

[randomsufff]

HEHAHBFKI More South Park doodles I think I’m going insane.

Actually this is kind of the product of me being liking South Park way back in high school but was too embarrassed to draw them when I was bored in class and now it’s all kinda flooding back 💀

Read below if you want to know more about my New Kid and my thoughts behind some of the doodles cause this turned out longer then I though 💀

Anyways- introducing my New Kid. No name cause I literally have no idea. Whatever the cannon name is ig- though I’d think it’d be funny if she was referred to New Kid by literally everyone like in game. I like the idea that a lot of people have with their New Kids that they liked the makeover section with the girls during the Stick of Truth a little too much. I also like it cause… uh… I didn’t play Stick of Truth. (The combat system is not my cup of tea) So it’s not until the start of TFBW does she know shes really a girl.

To give context to the top right drawing- I couldn’t remember the dialogue Wendy says in the alleyway if you say you’re a trans girl- but I do know what she says if your a cis girl (I always knew you were a girl) cause I did a second play through as a cis girl. And I don’t know if there’s supposed to be a huge time jump between the end of Stick of Truth and TFBW but I think it would be funny if it was just the next day- so combine these two fact to get “Wendy always clocked New Kid as a girl but NK just found out yesterday 💀”

Anyways- she’s such a cutie, I love her and her cool superhero outfit I gave her. Outside of the game- I’d like to think of her basically exactly how she acts in game. Mostly non-verbal, with the occasional zingy one liner, and just kinda goes along with the crazy shit the happens in South Park un phased. Like if she was in a episode- the plot would happen and she would be on screen, but wouldn’t say anything, and anytime another character would address her, they’d respond however as if she spoke lmao. Aroace, just like me, so she’s just friends with everyone (except Cartman) and vibes with everyone.

The mini Style comic I though of cause 1) I wondered if Kyle had the same elf ears as the other elfs did in game (again, never played and it’s been a while since I saw gameplay so whoops if it’s confirmed or whatever) and 2) I thought it would be funny if Stan was caught lacking and tried to /rp his way out of it (I wanted to add an extra bit where Kyle would be like “Oh, are our characters gay for each other??? (ARE YOU /SRS OR /J STAN)” and Stan would have to just “yes, and” his way out.)

The last three images were kinda of a stream of consciousness put on paper and made neat lol. I really like showing that all the costumes the kids wear are homemade and stuff- either stuff taken from their parents or visibly taped together etc- cause I think it’s charming. Anyways- I though Kyle’s little robe could be like one of his parents bath robe- and it would be a little too long for him to run without eating shit so he’d have to hike it up like a skirt/dress. Which lead to me thinking that Cartman would say some shit about that and how Kyle, who has a literal Golf Club, would smack his ass up. Which then lead to me thinking about how since Kyle’s the Elf King and Stan’s basically his right hand how he might lift it up wedding dress style if needed (/RP GUYS, RIGHT?RIGHT???) and how Cartman would react, which lead to that one JoJo meme cause thats literally how they’d retaliate.

Always- I’ll probably have at least one more post about South Park I swear. There was a period of time before I stopped watching (I gotta pick it up again) where I would doodle a bit of whatever was happening in the episode, each episode. Crazy I know, but not only did it improve my drawing skills but it helped me remember what actually happened in episodes cause I have shit memory and definitely don’t remember some of the episodes I watched. So I might redraw some of those- see if anyone can tell what episode they’re from.

[olderthannetfic]

A fandom friend is convinced there's something wrong with me and I must have self-worth issues because normal people with healthy self-esteem and self-image wrote OCs as a kid that were self-inserts. I didn't, I wrote characters who were basically whatever I thought was cool at the time (which changed a lot over the years) and into something weird to add flavor to them. So instead of my Arab, ADHD AFAB self writing Arab ADHD AFAB OCs who shared my interests, I'd have a white autistic guy whose special interest was geology and who also loved basketball (I hate sports), or a black agender kid who had some symptoms of schizoaffective disorder, was really into art and art history and loved sweets. One character would be cool like my dad, always witty and ready to say a cool one liner, and another would be cool like my mom, calm, controlled and never responding to haters. None of them share much in common with me. And my friend is convinced this is a mental health red flag, because normal people and even abnormal people always write OCs who are like themselves, idealized versions of themselves, or otherwise are some degree of self-insert.

The more I think about it, the weirder I feel for not doing this. It feels like I didn't do fandom correctly, but also, maybe she's right? Maybe there is something wrong with not putting myself into my narratives. Why wouldn't I put myself in my fics if I liked myself? It's really unsettling to think about but I think I've realized she might have a point.

Then I thought of you. You've been in fandom way longer than either of us (we're both teenagers, for context) and you know a lot about fandom and psychology. So I figured if anyone could tell me what this says about me, it'd be you. What does it mean if you never wrote any OCs with self-insertion components and just kind of wrote random things instead? Does it mean anything bad?

--

Your friend is a moron.

'Fantasies about self' vs. 'no fantasies about self' is a major division among people. It's not just a page on the asexuality wiki about sex fantasies but an entire axis of interest. Hang around slash/BL fandom in particular and you will find a metric fuckton of people who never self-inserted.

Self inserts make my skin crawl.

It is a feeling of visceral disgust that was always there. How can anyone like that? Don't ask me to. Don't tell me about it. Ew, ew, ew, ew. It's like a mild form of dysphoria it's that bad sometimes.

Tell your friend to stop using Wattpad as the litmus test for normalcy.

Some of us were always more AO3.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

i think i've said this before but i want to elaborate on it. i genuinely feel like the spop crew wrote c//a as some sort of torture p*rn. they know that people usually find an enemies to lovers arc sexy and intriguing. but the problem with c//a was that their fights were never equal. i don't know about y'all but when i think of enemies to lovers, i think of a dynamic where both individuals are at least somewhat on equal footing. i don't think about a relationship with a huge power dynamic where one of the characters is helpless and weak while the other takes every opportunity to torture them.

adora never tried to harm catra apart from self-defense, she always held back when she was fighting catra. she tried to reason with catra or just hold her off. meanwhile catra never held back on hurting adora. not once.

and all of this is framed as “hot”. it's framed as “sexual tension”. it's framed as “gay pining”, even though it's not. not to mention, most of the “homoerotic” fight scenes are where adora is either weak or helpless in some way. she's either restrained or too scared to fight back or actively stopping herself from injuring catra. and catra takes advantage of her kindness.

so what's the torture p*rn part of this? well. torture p*rn is basically a trope where a person (or multiple people being tortured) is the main attraction of the plot. c//a is supposed to be enemies to lovers, meaning they should be fighting equally, right? especially since adora is stronger and the “chosen one”, you'd think she'd definitely be defeating catra a lot more.

but no, most of their conflict is catra taking joy in harming adora. these scenes are framed in a more “intimate” way, with catra often touching adora without consent, saying vaguely flirtatious yet threatening one-liners and overall fueling the whole “sexual tension” part.

just take a look at these scenes. i can't completely blame the fandom for thinking these are sexy or erotic because they are framed that way. the crew themselves have admitted that c//a were supposed to have some sexual tension (despite being teenagers for at least two seasons, mind you) and it shows. adora may look scared or uncomfortable but it doesn't matter because the writers wants us to think that this is hot.

villains being creepy and borderline perverted is not a new thing, it's something that mainly came with queer-coding villains. but people often only do this to villains who are supposed to stay villains. and especially with the context that catra supposedly “loved” adora during all this, it just adds another layer of discomfort. it just feels like catra is taking the opportunity to not only hurt adora but also make her deeply uncomfortable by touching and interacting with her in a way that she did not consent to.

keep in mind that whenever adora has the upper hand, the show never frames their fights as homoerotic or weirdly intimate.

most of the time, she uses long range attack or she just goes on defense. the one time she attacked catra head on, she just decks catra in the face and is done with it. she doesn't cross catra's boundaries, she doesn't act flirtatious or touch catra inappropriately. the only scene where she can be described as “flirtatious” (though i would say she was just being smug) was when she wasn't attacking catra, but instead destroying one of entrapta's robots.

(and of course with no remorse, catra orders entrapta to activate the self-destruct on the robot so that adora could be blown to bits.)

so yeah. just because catra is a villain doesn't mean she has to be a creep. if the goal was to make her sexy (which is still weird since she was a teenager but regardless), there are other ways. there have been plenty of villains who are attractive and have a charming personality without being a total creep to the protagonists. for example, azula from ATLA is widely known as a queer awakening for many young girls because of how attractive she was (i know she was also a teenager. these are not my words, i'm just quoting the general public). and yet, you never see azula being creepily intimate with any of the protagonists. she often used long-range attack and she only goes as far as using some condescending language. it's just weird to write a villain who we should sympathize with, but then also make them a total creep.

[grimmcheems]

Yakuza Hinami AU🌸

This has been brewing in my head as an idea for like years lmao😭. Idk but I always thought it’d be kinda cool if Hinami’s father was also an important figure in the underground of ghoul society aside from being a doctor bc Jason fr tore him up and Mado was on his ass too. That mixed with the fact that Hinami does become involved with ghoul society later on in canon made me love her even more.

They have her father’s kagune up on display as decor, she obtained it at some point and Akira is pissed about it(though she does not know it is being used this way), newer members don’t know why it’s there and think better than to ask directly, so the older members just got used to referring it as “Daddy”😬

I rly need to start providing the initial context to my ideas bc there’s so much that goes on in my head for my AU lores before I draw a particular setting of it and which characters I choose to include. Hinami is basically a selective mute in the beginning of this after her father is killed by Mado and her and her mother form a close relationship with a ghoul investigator (Nakajima, but before they figure out that Ryouko is one of heir suspects but after his partner is killed by Touka) Later on Hinami is on the run and living in disguise with Touka until her parents followers find her and try to raise her to be the next leader of the group.

The yakuza group is named “The Winds , which is sort of a play on how her parents were inspired by it when naming her, and sort of used as a one liner by elite group members and those who manage to escape the hands of the Doves by saying “it must’ve been the wind”(or something similar to that phrase, it it also how the Doves speak about them in public settings as to not cause alarm and used to brush off any inconveniences they experience from the group itself).

Uta is the spokesperson of The Clowns and they often butt heads with Hinami over territorial disputes and whatnot, so his visits are frequent and he is rather surprised when he sees her for the first time again when she’s older and sees just how far and high up she managed to climb in ghoul society. He mostly teases her and Yomo does not appreciate it. Yomo joined her group at some point because he wanted to maintain ties with Ayato, and he does reveal himself to be his and Touka’s uncle and last living relative (it always bothered me that he never said anything to either of them about that in canon but at least he treasures his niece)

I also gave Uta a lot of color, he was gonna be paler but I thought more color to his face would suit him. He also has a soft expression bc his eyes are closed.

Banjou sort of takes care of the more visual side of things when it comes to Hinami(he does her hair but who does her nails?!?), I love how they have a bond in canon but in this he’s mainly like a big brother and he is always concerned with the way she is presented to others because she’s their leader.

She practically becomes like a legend and spoken of like a myth by the CCG and has a SS(-) rating. They’ve never seen her in combat and only have her combat with Mado on her file record so they base it off that, and she never really has to step in because other people take care of things for her. However being the head of the group they gave her a high rating as well as factoring in her chimera type kagune she’s sure to deal a lot of damage to anyone who’d cross her path. A lot of the wierdo investigators dream of having parts of her like a trophy someday, hence the dialogue of an investigator wishing he could see her kagune up close and in action someday.

[lazuliquetzal]

Comedy Is A Lie: I’m Going To Explain The Joke And It’s Going To Make Everything Worse

A buddy asked me why I cut a good joke from one of my fics and my immediate answer was “it killed the tension,” which, upon reflection, is a pathetic answer that is mostly inaccurate and does not even come CLOSE to how much thought I put into comedy in my writing. So I guess I’m going to write this out and excise the demon of over-explanation. 

Part The First: What Is Funny

The biggest thing I try and keep in mind when writing editing comedy (and anything, really, but especially for comedy) is rhythm. Lots of parts to rhythm! Most obvious is the word-to-word/sentence-to-sentence flow. Timing is a really important aspect of verbal comedy, which is why performance is a good medium to use. You get to control the delivery of every sentence and the spaces in between. But when you’re writing, you have significantly less control over how a reader will interpret the rhythm: all you can do is word your sentences as best as you can and give them rhythm cues via punctuation. (This is why I use so many em dashes and commas… I'm working on that…)

The other part to rhythm is on a more macro scale. There are jokes that will roll along with the flow of a story. For me, these are jokes that don't deviate from the context of the scene too much. They connect one subject to the next, or they build off of each other (a ‘yes, and’ sequence, for example). Alternatively, the joke is delivered in a really understated way. Like passing off something objectively batshit as status quo. Either way, they flow!

Then there are jokes that will halt a scene in its tracks. These are jokes that recontextualize a situation, or make a particularly large leap from the current topic. Or, you've been setting up for this punchline for a while and this joke is payoff. Or the joke is just really, really funny. These are the kind of jokes where you need to give the characters (or the reader) a beat to process them. Sometimes. We’ll get back to that.

Part the Second: How Is Funny

So the point of all that rhythm stuff is that comedy has a flow! If every line is a witty one-liner, none of the lines are witty one-liners! If every joke is a one-hit-KO, you have left your reader unconscious. Basically, if you are constantly being #Funny, you become repetitive and predictable, and that is the death of tension (and humor is a tension-driven element). 

One way to think of comedic pacing is setup (AKA building tension) and punchline (AKA payoff). It’s a balancing act: the more you build up tension, the more satisfying the payoff is going to be, but if you spend too long building up, you start dragging. You want the reader to think, “I can’t wait for the punchline!” and not, “oh my god, PLEASE get to the punchline already.” 

Fun way to make the tension last longer is to put all those flow-y connector jokes along the way. The reader’s anticipating the Joke, so by giving them little jokes, it meets their expectations in little ways so that they don’t get too antsy.

Hey, what’s tension, you ask?

Part The Third: Why Is Funny

When I read a book, there are two emotions that get me to turn the page:

I don’t know what’s going to happen next, and I’m curious!

I know X is going to happen, and I’m anticipating it!

That’s tension. (Something something semantics—I’ve never taken a creative writing class, I don’t have a vocabulary) 

You can have the calmest, low-stakes fluffiest fic in the world but as long as your readers are experiencing either curiosity or anticipation, Congrats! You have tension! I, however, like putting readers on fast-paced rollercoasters, so that’s the lens through which I’m tackling this section, which is: how do I use jokes in a story structure context? What purpose does a clown serve?

I mentioned earlier that some jokes are bricks to the face: they demand to be processed. Most of the time, I put high-impact jokes in places where I need the story to “reset” in a way: force a beat so the reader can process both the joke and the plot. That’s using humor to release tension. Literally. Laughter relieves stress.

But! You can also use those jokes to make the tension even worse! If you drop a bomb and immediately press forward, no processing allowed, you get stressful comedy. You want to laugh, but also a bunch of other stuff is happening and it feels kind of rude to laugh, so you get stressed. Sometimes humor can undermine a climactic moment, but if you use the right joke in the right spot you create shrimp emotions. If you’ve read DotF ch8 you know what I’m talking about.

Jokes also just make for good plot points? A lot of jokes are built on recontextualization. Everybody loves a good twist/reversal/surprise in a plot. Just make a joke and re-frame it, and bam! You’ve plotted! (Everything I’ve ever written started off as a joke.)

Wait, What Was The Question?

Why did I cut the joke? It was a waste of a brick to the face. It was too referential, it required the audience to know/agree with something completely unrelated to the story, it didn’t build upon what I already established. It ruined the rhythm.

I need to emphasize that, despite all my Thoughts on this, the way I appraise my jokes is 80% vibe-based. I probably could have kept the joke, and it would have been totally fine. But I would know. I would know that my intended rhythm is broken… it would haunt me until the end of time…

[tumblingxelian]

I have to admit I'm impressed with how awful a father CRWBY made Taiyang while giving him a veneer of reasonability.

To the point that his ability to just spout off things reminds me of an Aunt and Uncle who have no idea just how badly they are painting themselves.

As in - when he makes a judgement call about how Yang lost her arm that fits it into his "Over dependence on his semblance" it's incredibly telling about him not ever actually asking anyone about what happened.

It means he never talked to Yang about it, or even you know offered because while Yang wouldn't have said everything she'd probably have said a little.

Or talked to any of the students who probably got information about what happened from Blake when she dragged Yang to safety. Which wouldn't have been much but probably included the fact that Blake was attacked by someone, Yang intervened.

Given that students presumably died when Beacon fell and that Yang was a first year student... Like by itself, Yang being alive enough for a teammate to save her is a victory.

Nevermind context of her going up against someone that fought Blake, who came back injured herself, and Adam probably did get ID as going around killing students. So the fact that Yang was vastly outclassed would have been known, you know if Taiyang asked at all about "What happenend". Or worse - he did and still blames Yang. Like what did he expect her to do - leave Blake to die? Yang got Blake enough room to run, Blake used the opportunity to get both of them out of there but Yang bought that opportunity for Blake.

Meanwhile I'm looking forward to the Belladonnas actually talking to Yang. Because I don't think it's an accident that we didn't see said interaction before we started being shown in detail the grease fire of the Xialong Rose family.

From my perspective Tai is a rather interesting execution on the archetypical father on these fronts. IE, he's not a classic bad father the way Jac is, or the classic emotionally distant husk archetype. Yet to me, he is still 100% a big problem and done a lot of harm to Ruby & Yang with lackluster parenting & 'teaching'.

As outlined here.

I think this is one of the reasons why a lot of people struggle to actually see him as flawed even when e gets basic facts wrong.

Another reason is just how much undue credit men are given by default that women have to earn. Hence lots of people shrugging off Qrow's drinking or Ozpin's manipulation, or Ironwood's authoritarianism until they couldn't anymore.

Though being more charitable, I would also note how CRWBY often play these characters against their more traditional archetypes to help offset the audiences presumptions.

For instance,

Ozpin is a mysterious headmaster of an adventurers school but he's the 'fun' headmaster who both helps the kids go on adventures but unlike certain other headmasters sends an adult escort with them.

Or Ironwood, he's a big military hard liner who wants more tech, bigger weapons and to throw his military around. But he asks about the kids, he jokes casually, he's not just some General Ripper.

& Qrow of course is the bitter veteran and mentor, who is super badass & drinks/smokes, but in contras, he's also seemingly functional, friendly and clearly has a good rapport with his nieces.

Its easy to see why people saw those aspects and were willing to ignore things like:

Ozpin sending teenagers into terrorist dens, Ironwood backstabbing his allies while making himself out to be the victim, and Qrow's blatant dependence on alcohol to function.

Cos CRWBY made them characters & not archetypes.

So when the shit hit the fan and subtext became text, subtly problematic behavior became blatantly problematic and festering problems once seen as comedic now had real weight.

I feel Tai fits the same mold, he's on the surface 'functional', he definitely cares, and even seems to do some 'fun dad' stuff. He just also as no idea how Yang's Semblance works, & was absent or otherwise none functional for so long its left deep scars on Yang having to keep the family together & Ruby outright says Yang raised her.

He's in many ways a more realistic and nuanced portrayal of a dysfunctional or toxic parent who may not obviously have issues the way an open abuser like Jac, or an absentia parent like Raven might but can still do harm.

Also excellent breakdown on how the surrounding context of the Fall of Beacon. Team RWBY are first years, Blake is an incredibly experienced combatant, Yang had been put through the ringer. Literally everything was on fire and even people like Ozpin died.

The fact the whole team made it out at all is nothing short of a miracle. But accepting that "Sometimes bad things happen" is a surrender of power, its an admission that there was nothing to be done and that is terrifying. Especially for a man whose had two of the most important people in his life vanish on him without a trace.

He wants there to be something in Yang to blame because then there is something that can be done about it. Add in his clear and overtly stated projection of Raven onto her, and hos incoherent his reads on her personality are given Yang's addressed stuff like stubbornness & strategy well before this.

& you get a parent making being dismembers in a no win situation against a more powerful opponent the victims fault while giving vague, generalist advice to feel like they're doing something.

Gosh I want them to just adore her, and her to adore the Belladonna's.

Thanks for the ask, and good luck on that essay you mentioned, remember to tag me ;)

[omarera]

Breaking down the Aftonbladet article putting into Swedish context, at least my perspective. Markus is viewing the award as a music award and he has strong opinions on what his music taste is. People should vote as he wants lol. So a positive thing g here is that Omar seems to have a lot of votes. He is always very sarcastic and often have one line slaps sticks liners in his articles and is always straight forward. Markus wants it to be a his taste of “best music “ award but in reality fans are voting based on their own taste and dedication to vote. He needs to change his view of what Rockbjörnen is and why people vote.

Long post ahead…

Some nominations are the joke of the year. Doesn't just stand out. It sticks the eyes.

Ok, I have a few questions. La Gunilla? Fröken Snusk? Where did the musical taste go, dear audience? Is it out drunkenly riding a valley horse?

Since Rockbjörnen is Aftonbladet's prize, I should probably hold back.

It will be such a bad atmosphere otherwise.

The taste is different. After rain comes sun. It's always worse in Gällivare. Take pastors in Knutby with a grain of salt, and so on.

But one of the nominations doesn't just stand out. It sticks out the eyes of sensitive people.

Gunilla Persson? What is she doing here? Her contribution in the Melodifestivalen, "I won't shake (la la Gunilla)", was quite a lot. But "Breakthrough of the year"? What to say about it? Hawk tuah?

Nominating her is like watching the pole vault final at the Olympics, watching Armand Duplantis break a new world record and then giving the Gold of Achievement to a falcon.

I interpret everything as Aftonbladet's dear readers trolling us. If La Gunilla is the breakthrough of the year, you might as well give the bear to Babsan's chorizo ​​hit "Give me a Spaniard", even though the song was released in 2011.

That would be about as reasonable.

For context: Babsan you all know 🫠 but Gunilla Persson is known for being a “Hollywood wife reality star” and she is just loved or hated and just a strong character. She is not a music artist and the actual new breakthrough music artists gets in her shadow.

Another nomination makes me demand that Sweden should introduce a driver's license test before people can express themselves about music. Otherwise, there is a great risk that many people will accelerate backwards towards a red light on the left side of the traffic. That is, cogs in the run-up by voting for Fröken Snusk.Her mix of knight fun and epadunk in a pink robber's hat would only have been a given winner if Rockbjörnen introduced the category "Joke of the Year".

Then so. Now it feels easier to breathe.

For context: Fröken Snusk performes in a pink mask and have songs like “Ride me like a Dalahorse” and “the Gynecological”. Fröken Snusk kind of translates into Miss Naughty. She is though very popular among kids and teens mostly. A guy behind her pulls all the strings and she basically sings the songs. She wants to take a bigger role and is starting to change her image. The song she did in Mello she was a co-author on and she was also the winner of this year’s “The mask” showing off she has great voice. Taking of the mask having her pink mask on. Some songs were also taken down from Spotify due allegations of manipulation of streams. But many love her. Others hate her.

Otherwise, this year's gala seems to be a classic duel at dawn between two relatively young men: Omar Rudberg and Benjamin Ingrosso.Omar can win four Rockbears and Benjamin three, which is due, among other things, to the fact that "Benji" has not performed at Gröna Lund this year and therefore cannot be nominated in the category "Grönan live act of the year".

There is nothing wrong with Rudberg, but if the prize is still about music, Ingrosso should sweep home everything. This summer he took on a new giant leap as a stage performer.

For context: I won’t riot against Markus, so if that’s what you want to read, move on. He acknowledges that it is a duel between them and he has probably seen the numbers of votes. That is positive news for me. There are not just Omar and Beji nominated and Omar and Benji seems to be close in voter numbers (if that’s the reason he writes the article and want to prime Benji winning)

Stating “there is nothing wrong with Omar, but if the prize is still about music, Ingrosso should sweep home everything”.

Music is subjective, and Markus saying there is nothing wrong with Omar is like a compliment coming from him. I prefer Omar’s music and we all know he is not recognized is Sweden as any of us thinks he deserves. I fully agree with that. I also agree that Benji is the biggest artist this year and he has taken leaps both performance wise and with his music. He has done an outsold European tour ( similar to the one Omar will do) and he has had several hits dominating the charts with a little bit of, for him, music style and quality. He has also had a very successful summer tour ( designed by the same person who designed Beyonces stage performance). He has had arena show in Sweden, very few Swedish artists pull that off. He IS the biggest Swedish male artist atm. So I understand Markus viewpoints. Omar is still in the beginning of his career, he has just started performing on stages and has his first tour announced. It’s not possible to compare them. Benji has so much more experience and has released so much more music. Omar is already great but he will have more music coming out with better producers and he will ofc evolve even more on stage. I see many compare Benji with Harry Styles and that’s where my references goes as well. He kind of has similar stage clothes and also the reading signs and having people proposing on his stage. So he interacts with the audience in a similar way.

The trolling part when it comes to Benji is that Benji has been/is by some hated just bc he is a nepo kid and his family. He had a FB group with 9000 members called “we who hate Benjamin” when he was 9yo. And yes he has benefited a lot from his family background and the benefits that comes with that but he also gets hate. And he still has that feeling with him it seems and seem to consider himself as a kind of an underdog needing to prove himself. So him being the biggest artist atm, and if he doesn’t win some will see it as people voted on other artist to make him not win and build on the narrative that it is bc he is a Wahlgren/Ingrosso. He also gets votes for that reason ofc, people loving him and his family, rather than people loving his music.

But all together, La Gunilla and Fröken Snusk might win, loved by the people but maybe not the best music. Omar is loved and have dedicated fans even though Benji is the biggest artist this year. And has the music that has been recognized. Markus seem to prefer his music, I prefer Omar’s music.

Regarding the trolling history for Rockbjörnen, last year Hooja won four categories, they are also liked and loved by kids and people all ages I guess, they wear masks and do fun songs with kind of silly lyrics. Listen below. But they were also “outed” and their names and life’s were written about by Aftonbladet last year which was quite controversial since they wanted to be anonymous for their sake and also their families. They live north in Sweden and lead somewhat just normal family life. So, that was also probably one reason people voted for them. A way of trolling as well.

[esperanzacboronial]

The thing about Xander Harris is that not only is he the vaguely misogynistic man friend (a crime that could be forgiven in the context of late 90s television) he’s also just an incredibly shitty friend in every way. Buffy goes through the trauma of having no choice but to kill the newly ensouled guy she was in love with and is basically kicked out of her house by her mom so she runs away from home and Xander’s response when she gets back? How could you leave us and abandon us like that? Riley does metaphorical cheating in the most hurtful way possible then imposes an ultimatum after being just kind of a flop boyfriend for half a season and Xander’s response is? Why didn’t you pay more attention to him while your mom is terminally ill, he loves you and this is your fault, do you want to lose him forever? Buffy literally DIES and Xander’s response is? We have to bring her back, not for her but for us because we can’t cope without her, also I do not care how she might feel about this. Spike SAs Buffy and Xander’s response is? To make her feel bad for ever sleeping with him (consensually) and “leading him on” or whatever to the point where she APOLOGISES. TO. XANDER a man she has never had any romantic relationship with for?? Sleeping with a different man?? Because she wanted to??? While single??? And then being assaulted by him??? Xander’s biggest crime is not the shitty one-liners or being believably misogynistic, it is the way he has literally never been a good friend to Buffy by any definition and yet we’re supposed to believe she needs him in her life. If Xander has no haters I’m dead.

[justletmeramble1701]

Has anyone talked about how each of the three specials represents the three eras if NuWho (as in the three showrunners)?

The Star Beast felt like a classic Russel T Davis era introduction. The doctor disrupts the companion's boring domestic life, introducing them to a new, exciting, and very dangerous life. While, yes, this is the story of most NuWho companions, but Russell's version focused on how boring mundanity is (his companions are thrill seekers, especially Rose and Donna) and the companion's familiar life, which this episode does with the reintroduction of the Noble's.

It also has a "Davis-ex-machina", but all three episodes have that, so I'm not gonna mention it.

Wild Blue Yonder felt like a Moffat idea box (a dark fairy tale/cosmic horror). High concept scares or ideas that force the Doctor to drop his mask and confront truths about himself. I'm specifically thinking of series 6, where The Doctor relearns responsibility by the strange and usually terrifying situations he falls into, dragging his companions along for the ride. In this story, the Doctor is reminded how beaten down they are, setting us up for the conclusion in the finally. It's basically this Doctor's "The God Complex"! While this is how the franchise does character development, it feels uniquely Moffat because of its horror influence (its "Alien" and "The Thing") and the level at which it explains itself (it explains as much as it needs to have a monster with a gimmick, but not too much that they stop being scary - and also in a way that confuses most people).

It also has seemingly innocuous lines that are actually horrifying in context. "My arms are too long..." feels so much like "Are you my mummy," "Don't blink," and "Who turned out the lights," but it lacks the ability to be repeated more than once, so it can't become the quote for the creature. Instead of a singular quote, the episode goes for a series of chilling one-liners ("Oh, we get hungry, don't we..." being a great example).

The Giggle had that late Chibnall charm. Bringing back past elements in highly action-packed finales or specials to attempt to excite or "wow" the audience. While it pulls things out of nowhere to keep the plot going, you don't care because of how much fun you are having! I was specifically thinking about "The Power of the Doctor" while watching it. Half a "Flux" worth of ideas crammed into an episode, but with just enough fun, character, and heart that you allow it to do whatever. Let the episode drive you in whichever direction it needs to go to reach the destination, trusting that it won't get lost or crash. While this is, basically, the concept of the show (remember, we are watching a walking deus ex machina in their magic plot generating box, waiving their magic wand around until it is time for them to solve the problem), it feels like Chibnall because of how compact it is. Like I said, this has enough ideas that it could have been all three specials.

The thing that sets these three specials apart from the last three eras is the power dynamic between the Doctor and their companion. 14 and Donna are equals. While Donna is being reintroduced to the extraordinary, 14 is being reintroduced to the mundane. While Donna is trying to escape from the lovecraftian creature they've encountered, the Doctor is right beside her, scared of what they shouldn't comprehend (the episode even punishing them for their comprehension). While Donna is being toyed with by a dark god, the laws of reality failing her, the Doctor is facing the same, at the wim of an entity that operates by a different set of rules. The Doctor and their companion, their friend, is finally operating on the same playing field as them, which means that, by extension, so are we.

Donna, like all companions, represents the audience, but, in these stories, she specifically represents the fans of the last 20 of Doctor Who. The ones that grew up watching NuWho. We are older now, still as loud and snarky as ever, but we are adults now. Just like Donna, we have lives, responsibilities. We can't experience the world (or the program) the way we once did. Even though the adventures never truly end, it is our turn to join the previous generation (reprented by Mel) watch the next batch of whovians discover this exciting universe for the first time, our Doctor by our side.

This was the best conclusion to NuWho that we could've hoped for!

[shallanigans]

So, you want to write fanfiction? Here's some advice from someone who spends too much time on ao3, Part 1:

Hey everyone! This is a bit of a deviation from my usual shitposts. I was looking at the "#writers on tumblr" tag today, and I got inspired to post this after some interesting discussions. I'm someone who has read a lot (and I mean A LOT) of fanfic, as well as written some myself... so I thought I'd make this little (no, I lied, it's Very Long) post with some writing tips that I find personally meaningful for those of you who may be getting started or want to try something new.

My qualifications? Honestly, because I said so. This is just my opinion. Feel free to ignore, disagree, hate, ask questions, whatever. I'll be discussing some common fanfic writing advice and what I think about it, as well as giving some general pointers.

Disclaimer: What is "good writing?"

Good writing is effective writing. There is no one way in which everyone should write. Effective writing compels the reader; it makes them interested in your story, keeps them turning the pages, makes them click that "next chapter" button and stay up all night to finish your 500k epic. Some people achieve this through flowery, descriptive prose. Others do so with their quick wit and snappy dialogue. Others write all their fanfictions in second person epistolary format only and make you cry harder than you ever have. The first thing to know is that 1) tastes vary and 2) confidence matters. Find your voice, and be proud of it. If you feel that what you are doing is working for you, and you love it, then keep at it. Someone has already made every "writing mistake" and made it well. Don't fall into the trap of getting bogged down with 674835 contradictory tips and being too terrified to write at all. The only real writing sin is being boring.

Furthermore, this post is for fanfiction specifically. A lot of this advice might be useful for traditional fiction, but it's not a 1:1 carryover. A lot of fanfic advice will be irrelevant for traditional fiction, and vice versa.

That's all fine and dandy, but what do I do?

Good question. First, let's break down what makes a fanfiction effective. Most people searching ao3 for a story probably want:

A compelling premise

With in-character characters

Good spelling, formatting, grammar, and syntax

Stylistically strong writing

A coherent plot

With a certain degree of wish-fulfillment sprinkled in (this is fanfic, after all)

In this series, I will be mostly discussing elements 2-6. Number 1, unfortunately, comes down to "don't be boring," and I can't tell you how to come up with an idea that's going to hook your reader. However, assuming that you already have The Coolest Idea Ever, and you only need the reader to see that, then here's what you can do:

Effective Summaries

No, seriously. Tell people what your fucking story is about. One of my favorite stories on ao3 has the worst, vaguest one-liner of a summary I've ever seen. It is a gem, and if it hadn't been for a friend's recommendation, I would have never read it. You may think that your epic out of context quote from the paragraph you spent hours perfecting will make people care, but it will probably just confuse them. This is likely to be the most controversial thing I say today, so I'm starting off strong.

When I say effective summary, I mean a summary that will tell people the basic premise of the plot while also making them want to learn more. I don't mean something fancy. I mean something like:

When Blorbo started his new tech development job at Tumblr, he never expected to have Blorbette for a boss. She is smart, cold, calculating - and, to his horror, totally irresistible. In order to win her heart, he decides to make her jealous by fake-dating his colleague and frenemy, Blorbinson. But he soon finds that there is more to his mysterious friend than meets the eye. Could it be that the real Tumblr sexyman has been next to him all along?

That's a pretty standard summary for a relatively long fic. It's nothing fancy, but it tells the reader what the story's about. Now this same summary, in the hands of someone who refuses to inform the reader about the premise of the story, would probably say something like:

His eyes are the color of spring.

You can get away with that kind of stuff more often in a one-shot, but best practice is always to tell your reader what the story is about. Say to your reader:

Blorbinson's eyes are too easy to get lost in. Blorbo cannot find his way out.

If you MUST include a quote from your story, then do it alongside your informative summary, in the much-loved format below:

"What do you mean Welcome to Nightvale is winning the contest?" --- In which things get heated at Tumblr dot com, and Blorbinson's the one making Blorbo get all sweaty.

I can already hear you arguing. You say to me, "But there are people who choose quotes that are both pretty AND informative! But writing anything is better than writing nothing in the summary!"

True. My response to the first point is this: if you had mastered that skill, you wouldn't be here. A simple, to-the-point-summary is almost never going to make the interested reader scroll past your story. You know what will? An out-of-context block of text about how much Sans Undertale loves the player from chapter 3, paragraph six.

To the second point, I say: obviously. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't seek to improve. No one is perfect. I'm certainly not. But you're doing yourself a disservice by spending so much time and effort on the content of your story and then fumbling it on the home stretch. If you take pride in your work (and I'm assuming you do, because you posted this story for a reason), then make like a chef at a five-star restaurant and start caring about presentation. It goes without saying that there shouldn't be any typos in the summary.

A note on tagging: I will make a separate post on tagging your stories appropriately. This is a writing-related rant.

Now, onto characterization:

If you're one of those people who thinks that there's no such thing as "too OOC," congratulations. May you enjoy fanfiction free from the shackles of the narrative. Tag appropriately and have fun. If you're like the rest of us haters, you probably want to keep your characters as faithful to canon as possible. Yes, even in an AU.

I've included this wonderful addition because entryn17 said it better than I ever could have. There's difference of interpretation, and then there's Severus Snape deciding that James Potter was actually just misunderstood.

Being "in-character" is an elusive ideal that we all strive for, but no one can quite tell you what it means except for "the vibes." The way I like to define it is this: If you asked yourself the question "Would He Fucking Say That/Do That/Feel That?" and the answer is "yes, absolutely," then it's in-character. If the answer is "absolutely not," then it's out of character. If the answer is "maybe?" then your goal is to move that needle firmly into the Yes camp.

To do this, you must first determine what is making you unsure. Is it the dialogue? Is your stuffy Edwardian speaking like a Gen Alpha well-versed in Cocomelonese? Is your overconfident flirt stammering and stuttering through a conversation? Often, the content of what a character is saying agrees perfectly with the source material, but the how doesn't match it. Beta readers can help with this, as can going back to the source material to study a character's speech patterns in canon. You don't have to get it perfect. Just make sure it doesn't stand out. Would Snape perhaps say "Come over here!" in a much wordier, snarkier manner? Maybe. Maybe not. But he sure as hell wouldn't say, "Yo! bring your ass over and check this out!"

Actions and feelings are a bit trickier. There's always some leeway in personal interpretation here, and most of the time your reader won't question this very much so long as the rest of the story keeps them engaged. One OOC action or thought is easy to brush off. Ten, not so much. Read up on the wiki pages for whatever you're writing, go back to the source material, and maybe get the opinion of a willing beta reader. Ultimately, if your characters start feeling like featureless puppets subject to your whims rather than people with established personalities, you might want to go back and revisit what made them stand out to you in the first place.

Keep things consistent within your story. Especially in AUs and canon divergence fics, there are certain character traits that are malleable. Maybe Draco Malfoy wouldn't have been such a dickhead if he'd had caring adult mentors in his life. So, justify that within your story. You don't necessarily need to keep the characterization faithful to the canon, but you do need to convince the reader that their beloved character has a reason for their behavior. Keep things consistent. Whenever a character deviates from their canon behavior, make sure there's a valid explanation for it in your narrative.

Don't fall for the trap of confusing canon and fanon. Fandom is like a game of telephone. Someone writes one story of Blorbo adopting a cat, and suddenly he's the biggest cat person in the universe. The poor author who posts about Blorbo's canonical love of dogs gets trashed for writing OOC. You can't prevent people getting mad at you, but you can always grin smugly and go to bed happy with the knowledge that you were right. Someone will love you for it.

SPAG

Ew! It sounds like something your dog spit up. Spelling and Grammar might be boring, but they're necessary. You shouldn't break the rules until you know the rules. One day, you will write a run-on postmodern epic to rival the worst of Wallace's page-long sentences. Today is not that day. No one wants to open a story only to be greeted by a massive block of text, a lack of punctuation, and a heretofore undiscovered form of there/they're/their.

In the modern age, we have many tools at our disposal to clarify our SPAG doubts. Dictionaries! Spellcheck! The weirdos on those Substack forums! Oh, my. If you wrote your story at 3AM directly onto the ao3 editor, perhaps take a moment to run it through some kind of spellchecker before posting. Microsoft Word has a pretty good one, but Grammarly and other such software can help you if that's not available. There's also nothing quite like a beta reader. There are people in this world who love picking apart every comma, period, and quotation mark, and they'll be happy to do it for you. I am one of them, and I volunteer. There are many of us.

Here are some SPAG mistakes common in fanfiction.

1.Your/you're, they're/their/there, "could of," and "lie" vs "lay."

"YOUR" means that something is yours. You possess that thing. YOUR story is going to be great if you fix the grammar. "YOU'RE" is a contracted form of "YOU ARE." If you fix your grammar, YOU'RE going to be a great writer.

They're: Shortened form of "they are." They're going to the beach. They're very nice people.

Their: They possess a thing. A thing belongs to them. They're going to the beach in THEIR car.

There: Related to a place. You are going to be THERE. THERE are many pretty horses in the field.

"Could of" does not exist. It is an incorrect way of writing "could've," the shortened form of "could have."

The verbs lie and lay are tricky ones. You (a person) LIE down on your bed. You LAY an object down on a surface. However, the past tense of LIE is LAY. I know! Who invented English, am I right? Blorbo LIES on his bed in the present tense. He LAY on his bed in the past.

The past tense of "lay" is "laid." Blorbo LAID down his water bottle.

2. Run-on sentences.

Sometimes, when we're writing, we get a little excited. We have so many thoughts and we never know how to end them. You might think the solution here is to just keep throwing down commas, but you'd be wrong.

Run-on sentences can be effective if used intentionally, but a lot of the time, they're not. The period isn't your enemy. In general, you want to make sure your sentences have a subject, a verb, and an object, and that they end when you've finished your thought.

Blorbo was the most beautiful of all the tumblr sexymen. He really liked to show off his sick gains at the gym. He had a hot wife and an even hotter side piece.

This writing isn't very exciting, but it's correct. Contrast that with:

Blorbo was the most beautiful of all the tumblr sexymen, he really liked to show off his sick gains at the gym, he had a hot wife and an even hotter side piece.

Finish your thoughts. There are ways to connect independent clauses (a group of words that can work on its own as a sentence) correctly, like the semicolon; the semicolon is a great piece of punctuation. There is also the em-dash. Sometimes, you really need to add clarification to a thought — you really want to emphasize the second part of what you're saying. Em-dashes also work like a cooler version of parentheses — because who uses those, am I right? — and can help you seem like a chic and seasoned writer. Don't overuse them, though. I know you want to. And no, I don't heed my own advice here.

Look, these rules aren't intuitive. I can't possibly go through all of them in a way that's easy and digestible. There are smarter people than me who have written all about it, and I use incorrect punctuation all the time. Misplacing a comma isn't going to be the end of the world for your story, but at least give it a once-over with a beta or spellchecker to fix the worst of it. At the very least, make the reader think that run-on sentence was totally on purpose.

3. Paragraphs

Make sure your paragraphs stick to a single theme or thought. Fanfiction writers love to have one-sentence paragraphs for the impact, but you don't need to do that. Just keep them coherent. For example, if you're writing about Blorbo's weekend, you might say,

Blorbo loved Saturdays. On Saturdays, the world seemed to sparkle and sing with the whole of the city's shared happiness over not having to work. He would wake up on those mornings and leap out of bed while singing a jaunty little tune. Then, he'd text Blorbinson a string of heart emojis and plan to meet up for their weekly ice cream date. But Sundays — oh, how he hated Sundays! Sundays were the day before Monday, and he'd always spend so long worrying about going back to the office that, by the time he decided to do something, it would be dark outside already.

Each of the paragraphs above, clumsy as they are, have a clear idea that starts and ends within the same paragraph. If you talk about Blorbo's Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday all within one paragraph, your reader will be confused!

On the other hand, if you make every single paragraph one line, your reader is going to resent you. You have unwittingly made them take part in a bad action thriller. One-line paragraphs are supposed to be impactful and create suspense. When writing, a good tip is to consider the word "impactful" a synonym of "sparing." See below:

Blorbo loved Saturdays. On Saturdays, the world seemed to sparkle and sing with the whole of the city's shared happiness over not having to work. He would wake up on those mornings and leap out of bed while singing a jaunty little tune. Then, he'd text Blorbinson a string of heart emojis and plan to meet up for their weekly ice cream date.

Doesn't it suck? Not to mention all that scrolling!

3. Dialogue

Right off the bat, I'll say that the best way to learn how to format dialogue is by reading books. Not fanfiction. BOOKS. They have been checked by an editor, so you know you're getting the real deal. Generally, well-formatted dialogue achieves an engaging and seamless conversation between your characters. Poorly-formatted dialogue forces your reader into a game of Who's Who?

See for, instance, the following abomination:

"I can't believe you cheated on me with Blorbette!" Blorbo had been crying about it for a week. His tears would soon erode a riverbank down his cheeks. Blorbinson sneered at him, "I can't believe you ever thought this was real." "I was only with you for the tax benefits." No! How could you? Blorbo said. Blorbinson laughed a wicked laugh and looked at him. "My heart is shattered into a million tiny pieces. Love isn't real!"

Did you follow that? Because I sure didn't. Generally, here are the rules of dialogue:

Start a new line for each character that speaks, and keep a single character's dialogue within the same paragraph.*

Use dialogue tags to CLARIFY who is speaking. Note: I said clarify. If it's redundant take it out. I will write more about good (not merely correct) dialogue in a follow-up post.

Put a period after or before an ACTION tag in dialogue, but a comma before a SPEECH tag. The reason you do this is that ["Here is an example line of dialogue," he said] is a complete sentence, but ["Here is an example line of dialogue." He looked at his watch.] is TWO sentences. The quotation marks are merely to indicate speech. Whether or not something is a sentence is determined by the content of what the writing actually says, not by any punctuation it may have.

Use quotation marks to indicate speech. If you want to quote something within quotation marks (in American English), you put it in single quotes, like so: "And then he called me 'a lost cause who's doomed to be single forever.' Can you believe that?"

By following these rules, we get the much nicer:

"I can't believe you cheated on me with Blorbette!" Blorbo had been crying about it for a week. His tears would soon erode a riverbank down his cheeks. Blorbinson sneered at him. "I can't believe you ever thought this was real. I was only with you for the tax benefits." "No! How could you?" Blorbinson only laughed a wicked laugh. "My heart is shattered into a million tiny pieces. Love isn't real!" Blorbo said.

Obviously that's still pretty bad, but now it's readable. Formatting your dialogue properly will fix a lot of problems with your story, make it clear who is talking, and make the reading experience much nicer for everyone.

* An Important addendum: sometimes, characters will speak for a long time, and you'll want to split up their dialogue into paragraphs. To do that, you start the dialogue in quotation marks, but you leave them open until the character is done speaking, like so:

"My favorite thing about Blorbinson was that he always knew just what to say. He had this magical ability to always tell when I was sad, and he showed up with ice cream every single time. It always made me feel better," Blorbo said. "I can't believe our relationship is over now. I should probably tell you all about how that happened. "I walked into my house one day to find another pair of shoes by the door, where Blorbinson's usually are. I knew Blorbinson would never wear those shoes, because his style is more boho-inspired. Anyway, my worst fear was confirmed when I walked into the bedroom and found him there with Blorbette! My two loves, betraying me so callously!"

This is common in fantasy stories where you need to impart some deep lore knowledge on the reader, or for characters who like to talk a lot.

4. Verb tenses (edited after posting, in true fanfic writer fashion)

Us writers tend to have very strong opinions about verbs. You could even say things get a little bit... tense sometimes. Ok, but seriously; whether you write in past or present doesn't matter. What matters is that you keep things consistent.

Nothing takes the reader out of a fanfic faster than abrupt tense switches in the middle of the narrative. If you are writing in a specific verb tense, stick with it.

Don't say:

Blorbo is never sure what Blorbinson is thinking. He watched him chew his pencil from across the office, that beautiful face scrunched in concentration as he stares at his computer. Blorbo knows he's in love the minute Blorbinson looks back.

DO say:

Blorbo was never sure what Blorbinson was thinking. He watched him chew his pencil from across the office, that beautiful face scrunched in concentration as he stared at his computer. Blorbo knew he was in love the minute Blorbinson looked back. or Blorbo is never sure what Blorbinson is thinking. He watches him chew his pencil from across the office, that beautiful face scrunched in concentration as he stares at his computer. Blorbo knows he's in love the minute Blorbinson looks back.

When we write in past tense and we want to talk about events that happened prior to the narrative, we use the past perfect. When we write in present, we can use either simple past or past perfect. This one's kind of iffy. As you write more, you'll get a sense of what "sounds correct."

Ultimately, your choice of verb tense is personal opinion and what you feel best fits your story. Just make sure that you keep whatever you choose consistent. A beta reader can help you with this.

And that's it for Part 1!

This post dealt with some technical, basic things about fanfic that will mostly be useful to new writers. I will be going more in depth about making your prose stronger at the sentence level in Part 2, where #4 is getting an entire post. It'll probably be even longer than this one. I hope it was able to help someone!

[emotionally-charged-arson]

Transitus Should Be Set In New England (Northeastern United States) - A List

By: A Midwestern American

It’s on my to-do list to spruce up the album’s wikipedia page and I’ll probably ask Arjen about location directly at some point for it. But for now, for fanfiction’s sake: 

It is never explicitly stated where in the world the real-world portion of Transitus takes place. You can glean from basic context that it’s somewhere in the Global West but no real locations are stated by the lyrics, narration or liner notes.

I think the default is to assume it’s set in Great Britain, which is totally reasonable. Daniel’s family is consistently referred to as a “house,” hinting at noble status. The plot and setting are heavily inspired by that of Downton Abbey, right down to the uptown girl character dying horrifically and their racially discriminated servant spouse having a five-alarm crisis about it after the two were cut off financially from the uptown girl’s family. 

That’s how I initially thought of it. Easy (not really), inconsequential Victorian setting. 

But now, after a lot of research and writing and just sitting around and thinking about it, I have an alternate suggestion.

I think the story fits and would actually be more effective if it were set in New England, aka the farthest Northeast region of the United States. Specifically Connecticut but that’s not as relevant as it taking place in this region/country overall. I’ll go through the major arguments for this one by one, getting more plot-relevant as they go. Hopefully, given historical context and narrative themes, you’ll see my point here. 

New England highlighted on a map of the U.S., comprising the states of Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Rhode Island. The entire west side of the region borders New York State.

Enjoy. 🔥🇺🇸

1. Nationalities of Main Cast

The weakest point, but worth mentioning. Three of the six human characters in Transitus, a majority and the most of any Ayreon album, are played by American singers: Amanda Somerville, Cammie Beverly, and Dee Snider. Dee Snider being the most notable because his character is this staunch, traditionalist patriarch guy who’s on Daniel’s back about the Old Ways, and from there I think it’s safe to assume this guy’s family has been in the spot they’re in for more than a few generations.

I personally really like integrating certain non-personality-related traits from irl singers into their characters, and I think nationality applies to that nicely in this context. 19th century New England aristocrats were usually one of two categories: generationally wealthy European wannabes that take an insane amount of pride in their colonial ancestry, or “self-made” business tycoons that made ungodly amounts of money during the Second Industrial Revolution.

More on that second category in a second, but given the very, very limited information we get on Dee’s character, he gives me more of that high-and-mighty old money vibe.

Also, with almost zero canon evidence: I am completely glued to the idea that The Soprano, played by a very Dutch Dianne van Giersbergen, is the ghost of Daniel and Henry’s mother. Like I will die on this hill. Coincidentally, Connecticut, a state I picked from New England almost entirely at random, was first colonized by Dutch settlers, setting it apart from a few other Northeast states. If we’re keeping with the Nationality of the Parent Characters Carrying Through From Real Life theme, then that would create a very strong tie between Daniel’s family and their home state, further emphasizing the father's prioritizing of retaining status and “proper breeding.”

2. Weirdly Specific Combo of Architectural Styles

I genuinely cannot think of any other place where these three buildings could possibly exist in close proximity to each other, like-

Daniel’s family’s house (bottom right) is by far the strongest visual argument you can make for Transitus being set in Britain, like that is an 18th century English manor house through and through. Fair enough, but:

The East Coast US is a bunch of former colonies that were under British rule in the Georgian period (1714-1837), hence the name “New England.” A lot of the architecture from that time is reflective of this, especially in the older Northern colonies. Southern ones tend to follow the Greek Revival/Neoclassical styles more.

I’d believe the Britain argument here if it wasn’t for the other two houses’ whole situation. Too much US-adjacent design present in this specific region for you to go “yea but the mansion, though” at the mansion that could also exist in said specific region.

As much as I don’t like this as a design choice in the comic: Abby’s parent’s house (bottom left) is a frontier log cabin. These became very, very common during Westward expansion, fueled by the Homestead Act in 1862, the Manifest Destiny Doctrine present throughout the 19th century, the California Gold Rush in 1848, etc… The style wasn’t exclusive to the West though, and a bunch are still standing in the rural East Coast.

Cabins in Blue Ridge, Virginia and Hampton, Connecticut, respectively

As I said, I think it’s just a very odd choice. Among other reasons, the only part of this house that’s plot-essential is that it has a set of stairs for Lavinia to snap her neck on, and these things are pretty much always single floor structures.

Girl, where do those even lead to???

I dunno. I just don't like it, even if it supports my point. It should have been a little two-story rowhouse. Moving on.

These houses existed outside the US. It’s a plain, utilitarian style that shows up all over the place in Europe, even if they’re more synonymous and symbolic to America.

The main house, though, Daniel and Abby’s, narrows it down a bit more. It really reminds me of the Second Empire style, popular in the Northeast and Midwest regions at the time.

The John M. Davies house (Connecticut) and Terrace Hill (Iowa), both built in the mid-late 1860s.

Blocky base, mansard roof, giant statement piece (i.e. a tower) tacked on there somewhere. 

The only issue with that guess is that it would make the house, at best, 25-30 years old. Second Empire was only a thing in the post-Civil War period, and the house is meant to be this ancient, haunted thing. 

I had this idea for working around it a few months ago that it’s like…an older style that’s been updated in recent years? Say it’s originally a colonial era home (also plausible for New England) belonging to Daniel’s family. Makes sense, the base is still symmetrical and flat with two stories, steep roof, all that jazz. 

Washington, Connecticut (ca. 1750) and Hingham, Massachusetts (1721)

They clearly don’t use it themselves so maybe they rent it out? Maybe that’s part of where their money comes from; tenant properties and such. Maybe, understandably, nobody wants to pay to live in it because it’s old and run down and has a cemetery for a front yard, so they gut it and renovate, slapping some new age architecture over the top to make it more appealing.

 It doesn’t work but the house finds a use eventually. It’s still old as hell, still American, plus you get the bonus representations of traditionalist vs progressive styles being combined, like the two people that live there. 

...get it

Anyways, again: these all exist within sprinting distance of each other.  I’d love some other suggestions but the Northeast is the only spot I know all three of them can comfortably exist in.

3. Historical Implications - The American Civil War (1861-1865)

In January I finished this sort of…show bible for any and all Transitus HCs I had as an alternative to sending someone like 300 maxxed out rant-y text messages about it. Congratulations to @ay-miphae for somehow reading all of it.

Since it’s important to certain story elements, a section of the text is dedicated to a consolidated explanation of the American Civil War.

Kindly, a PDF of that section:

It’s deliberately written so someone with no prior knowledge of US history can follow it. That said, even if you are American and have the general gist of the war, I still think you should read it so you can really get where I’m coming from. It’s not something to be incorporated into a story lightly.

If you're not up for it, I at least think the intro paragraph speaks for itself in relation to my point:

The war ended about 20 years before the album takes place and you’d be hard pressed to say it fits with its story’s themes, far beyond the surface level of its very real effect on American race relations (that were much more intense than those of England at the time):

The hypocrisy of the Union, as if the majority of the North wasn’t still segregated and racist as hell long after slavery was abolished.

The tension not just regarding race but socioeconomic class in the war years. Of particular interest was the fact that wealthy men could pay their way out of conscription, often viewing the war as a mere inconvenience rather than the system-altering mess that it was for everyone else. 

Death. Just completely unprecedented amounts of it and unnecessarily so. 

Your pick of the million and one ways it could have affected Daniel and Abby’s parents, and even Henry depending on how old you picture him. 

Et cetera. You want a way to push the “Two Worlds” motif? Set the story in a Northern state two decades after a war fought over whether millions of people got to be treated like human beings or not, so impactful that the two sides of it are still so clearly, ridiculously discernible and will stay this way for another century and a half after.

As far as the possibility of setting Transitus in the South goes, fascinating as that could be, the plot of Act II makes it impossible. Interracial marriage was either void or outright criminalized in every single Southern state, until the ruling of Loving v. Virginia deemed the policies unconstitutional in 1967. There is no room for conflict over Abby receiving inheritance money - she and Daniel would have been straight-up arrested once Henry found out about them.

In the North, laws like this were repealed during or before the 1880s, if a state had them at all. In Connecticut’s case there were no laws ever prohibiting interracial marriage, but starting in the 1840s you were required to disclose your race in order to obtain a marriage license, which could create its own conflict with the risk of Daniel and Abby being exposed. Regardless of legal allowance, the practice was heavily frowned upon wherever you went, and the majority of them are recorded as being ordained in black churches, since white ones would turn them away and be well within their rights to.

A helpful reminder. 🔗

4. Main Setting - The American Gilded Age (1877-1900)

This was the point in my amateur "research" for this setting that I completely dug my heels in.

I mentioned the two sides of the 19th Century New England aristocracy - The dynastic, nobility-adjacent old money crowd, and the new money industrialists that rose to power during and after the Civil War.

Hey look, another (shorter) helpful PDF summary of a historical period:

Emphasis on "the wealthy elite using underhanded, exploitative practices to get what they want with no real consequences for it."

Henry fits...so perfectly into the category of these "robber barons" for me. Even if he's from a traditional, generationally wealthy family, he seems like enough of a greedy little cheat that he would force his way into this new crowd even if he didn't need to. It adds a few extra layers to a fairly archetypal 19th-century douchebag.

Henry being one of these Gilded Age industrialists sets him up as his family's main provider, allowing him to exert even more control over Daniel's life. Old money families had a severe distaste for these people, matching with Henry's extreme desperation to uphold his status. Even outside of higher social circles, these guys were hated by the general public and that was a 100% valid opinion. If Henry is this much more elevated above other characters in terms of wealth and the way he amassed it, it might make the insane jump from "jealous, nosy prick" to "murders an entire lower-class family for personal profit" a little more believable.

And, the most obvious point, the whole idea of this era, that "cartoonishly evil class divide" supporting the Two Worlds narrative.

The difference between Daniel and Abby's situations made all the more drastic, given that Henry may very well be one of (if not the) wealthiest men in the world in this prospective version of the story.

The nature of their wealth puts Henry, and by proximity Daniel, far more in the public eye than any British aristocrat would be. Daniel feels even more pressured and uncertain about his choices, even outside his family's expectations of him. Henry isn't just threatened by monetary loss after Daniel's death but cutthroat social humiliation, given who Daniel's inheritance is being released to.

Daniel is divided even further between his father's quiet, "safe" traditionalist lifestyle and his brother's much more forthright and totalitarian approach to everything. Maybe even tension created between Henry and his father for it.

Again, the stark difference between the post-War North and South, not exactly plot relevant but present in the setting.

The fact that the prosperity of Daniel's family is much more directly a result of the suppression of the poor and working class, the very difficult-to-navigate, set-in-stone power dynamic it creates in Daniel and Abby's relationship and how they come to terms with it.

And a little more on the Making-Shit-Up side: I have a troubling amount of extra characters I've used to fill plot holes that bother me, most of them servants, and trust me. The whole mass immigration aspect of this period makes character-building way more exciting. This is when the US Melting Pot idea really started, and it allows for a lot of different types of people to believably exist in a relatively limited setting. Christ, I even kept Abraham as an Englishman like his respective singer and it still makes sense within the world.

It's just...perfect. Arjen really picked the absolute perfect decade to set this story in for the sake of a throwaway 2084 joke.

5. The American Dream and the Tragic Fantasy of the Middle Class

This one is purely thematic, related to a more general national ideal than any one era or location (though I think the Gilded Age's presence boosts its effect). Oversimplified to all hell:

America is a very individualist society. It was founded on the idea of personal freedom and making your own way in the world with minimal resistance (or support) from an executive power, say, the British Empire. If you work hard and persevere, you can carve out the life you want and enjoy it. On paper, anybody can be anything, free from the restrictions of a tyrannical government or lineage-obsessed nobles. It's the ideal system, that benefits everyone who really wants it to.

Except it's just...not.

This isn't some groundbreaking concept. The American Dream is hypocritical as fuck and most people have figured this out by now. Sure, you can be anything you want in this country, no mountain is too high. So long as you are white, male, Christian, able-bodied and minded, not an immigrant, etc., etc.

Surely it's equal. Surely there are no unfair headstarts for people born into wealth and privilege, just like in Britain, and surely they will not use that advantage to lord power over the less fortunate with minimal consequences because they *earned* it and the government has no right to take it away. And surely, the people who really did work independently for what they have are not in a far more precarious position, as just a little bad luck can send them spiraling with nothing to fall back on.

...

And now, a small summary:

Daniel and Abby come from complete opposite sides of the social ladder, but are able to look past those differences because they care about each other as people. They are ridiculed and ostracized but they persist in the name of the life they chose (bada bing bada boom direct album quote 💃), and after enough time (and some pure luck), they get the house and make it their own. A quiet and steady spot, a safe middle ground between their two worlds.

One bad day and all of it is gone. Literally burned to the ground, and with it the character that all but stood for prosperity, change for the better and genuine human kindness.

The situation is then made exponentially worse when Henry, rich white jackass incarnate, steps onto the scene and twists the horror of it all into something that will benefit him. Doing so, mind you, by stepping on the backs of some select members of the lower class and tricking one through false promises of a shared reward to turn against her own. He fiddles with and fuels that fire while all previously mentioned genuine-human-kindness character can do is watch, and only after death does he get his comeuppance for it.

I figured it all fit together pretty well.

[demi-shoggoth]

2024 Reading Log, pt 6

26. Future Humans by Scott Solomon. This little book is about the possibilities for human evolution; what we know about how humans have evolved in the modern era, and what future human evolution could look like. The first chapter honestly surprised me, since it was about setting the table for the concept, which is seen as radical by a surprisingly high number of established biologists, that humans are still evolving at all. And then the book talks about genomic analyses, the influence on genetic drift, gene flow, natural selection, sexual selection and mutation rates on human evolution, and how we know what we know. The book is overall good, but I do have a few quibbles. Considering how well the content about natural selection highlights the differing access to health care and birth control between developed nations and the rest of the world is, I wish that it talked about how different cultures have different expectations as for what is sexy, rather than lumping all human attraction into “symmetrical faces and tall men”. And like a lot of books about human evolution, behavior and how they are linked, I wish it remembered that queer people exist.

27. Sad Animal Facts by Brooke Barker. This is a quick little book, in which cartoony drawings of animals are paired with information about their natural histories that are sad or upsetting, especially from a human standpoint. The cover shows you a sample joke, and they’re basically all like this. The appendix is more context behind each of the one-liners, which I do appreciate. I had an enjoyable… fifteen minutes with this book. It was fine, but I don’t think I’d spend money on it.

28. Unruly by David Mitchell. This is a comedy/history book about English royalty, from when England emerged from the “mists of antiquity” to Queen Elizabeth. That being the cutoff date because James I/VI was a shared ruler of England and Scotland as much as anything else. The overall vibe is having a tipsy ramble with a history loving friend, which is a pretty enjoyable vibe. Mitchell’s leanings are anti-monarchist, and his thesis is that the royalty of England were bullies who bought into their own hype of being God’s chosen, but none of their individual accomplishments matter much compared to the trends of history.

29. The Dictionary People by Sarah Ogilvie. This book is the culmination of a research project, in which Ogilvie on her way out the door of a job working on the Oxford English Dictionary found the address book of James Murray, the longest tenured editor of the first edition. So she went and did as much research as she could on the various contributors to the project. The result is a testament to the powers of crowdsourcing as much as it is a celebration of the fringes of academic society in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. The organization is alphabetical, which is charming, and the book takes on little biographical sketches of what is known of a wide swath of contributors. Highly recommended.

30. Tenacious Beasts by Christopher J. Preston. Also highly recommended. This book looks at some of the success stories of wildlife recovery in the United States and Europe. As it goes, it challenges the Western philosophy of humans being apart from nature, and argues that an interventionist approach is both necessary to help organisms recover and a return to previous practices (especially by Native American and First Nations peoples) that were underappreciated by the forces of industrialized imperialism. It adds the human element to a lot of ecological stories I was familiar with, but hadn’t thought about in that light.

[ultraericthered]

So I've made plenty of posts on my favorite character in Wish (King Magnifico), how about one on my least favorite character in the movie? And if you just guessed "Valentino", then you'd be right!

He had a line early on that I think best exemplifies the problem with him - "Careful - my mother was shaved for that yarn!" Alan Tudyk's delivery of that line is perfect, especially the way he emphasizes the point. And yet the line fails to land. It gets no laugh out of me. It's just too basic a jokey statement for the goat to make. Had the line been reworded, like he instead said "Careful with that yarn! Sorry, my mother was sheared to make such things, so I'm a bit sensitive!", that would give Tudyk more to work with and might turn out really funny. But the things he actually had to say just tend to get crickets.

Which brings me to my larger point. Throughout the two acts of the film where he can talk, Valentino has a grand total of five lines that actually got an amused reaction out of me, and only one of those five lines gets an actual laugh. For a comic relief sidekick who talks a lot, that's not a good sign. And the reason these lines work better than his other ones is that there's some semblence of actual context behind them from which the humor is derived, rather than him just spewing out totally random silly one liners or a Zootopia reference.

The lines are:

"I'll ram it! [CLANG!] ...It hurts without horns!" - A good bit with him doing what goats are known to do only for the reality of him still being in his infancy and lacking horns to literally hit him in the head. We do typically associate "ramming" and "rams" with horns, so he honestly makes a good point that horns would've made it easier to pull off.

"All I see are feet." - He says this when he, Asha, and Star have infiltrated the crowd in Rosas that Magnifico has called together. It's a simple observation Tudyk delivers so flatlty that it's kind of funny.

"No, no. If anyone’s leaving, it’s gonna be you." - Said to Gabo, this is the one to get an actual laugh. The sheer hilarious absurdity that someone finally calls Gabo on his crap, and it's Valentino, rendering it a "Pot, Meet Kettle" moment! Don't fight, you two - you both suck!

"As my mother always said, if somebody falls, leave them!" - Pretty straightfoward bit of black comedy, which is a rarity from this film and this character, and a better use of a "my mother" joke than before.

The "I...I can't count!" gag. Like the first one, a humorous dose of reality for Valentino who only recently learned to speak, but still never got around to learning to count. So he makes up numbers like "Nine zillyboo" and "Twenty alphabet." This one also works because there are actual reactions from others to the randomness he's spouting.

But other than those, his shtick is obnoxious and not really needed. If you've little to nothing funny to say, maybe don't say anything at all?