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nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos · 1 year ago

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I'm almost done with part 3 of Blacksmith's Daughter.

But I have once more found myself weak against the headcanons and giggling uncontrollably at my own train of thought.

So this time

What would happen if you found yourself with a bag o' weed?

Whatever here we feckinGOOO

Because I Got High

OPLA!Zoro, Sanji, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy X Reader

Headcanons

NSFW because context and stuff

♫♬Creepin Up The Backstairs - The Fratellis♬♫

Don't just say yes to tease me, do your utmost to please me

I don't mean to be sleazy, being you can't be easy

Zoro

"I mean, I've never tried it, but...."

Never done this before, usually have to have friends to introduce you to this sort of thing, and he was fairly lacking in the friend department until recently.

But basically, the hell with it, why not?

Just watching you roll it up in curiosity and borderline nervousness—

No, he's not nervous, shut up.

First hit and he's trying not to cough up a lung, shoving at you while you giggle about it.

Once it hits, he's in absolute awe of...well, basically everything.

Has never been so relaxed in his entire life what is this sorcery?

Falling back into his favorite hammock and pulling you down with him, just staring up at the ceiling in wonder.

Mentions after several minutes of silence that he can't feel his teeth and then just dissolves into hysterical laughter.

Cannot stop grinning, so comfortable and at ease with everything, kissing at your temple and your neck and pulling you closer against him.

Literally just wants to cuddle at this point, not anything more than that. Just lay there and hold you close, relax, breathe you in and enjoy the warmth and comfort of your body against his.

"....Fuck."

Sanji

"Excuse me, you have what? Oh, this is going to be fun."

He's worked in a professional kitchen. This is not his first rodeo.

Also, hand over the ganja. You're not smoking it, you're cooking with it. Or in actuality, infusing it into butter and cooking with that, to ensure even distribution.

Again. Not his first rodeo. Whatever he does come up with, be it brownies or cookies or are those churros???, you know he knows what he's doing.

Just leaves plates of edibles laid out across the kitchen of the Merry, and no one knows but the two of you.

Luffy eats an entire plate of brownies and is practically in a coma fifteen minutes later, laying sprawled out on the deck and pointing at a cloud every so often to comment on what it looks like.

Nami and Usopp sitting in the corner, alternating between giggling and dying in laughter at the pitiful state of their captain.

Zoro decided he was going to wash dishes for some reason, but you're pretty sure he's been scrubbing the same plate for five minutes.

You and Sanji standing off in another corner, leaning over each other and cracking up at the chaos you have managed to wreak among the crew.

And it gives the two of you the perfect opportunity to slip off to bed, which you definitely don't waste.

As flirty and playful as he is on a normal basis is doubled right now, and whether you're giggling or moaning beneath him, he's absolutely thrilled with the outcome of this endeavor.

"Oh, so much fun...."

Shanks

"Oh, sweetheart, we are going to the moon."

Do you even have to ask?

The second you tell him you found a bag of the green in the contraband hold in the Marine ship you just sunk, he's grinning like an idiot.

Grabbing you, an officer or two, leaving someone else in charge for a while, and you're all smoking out the captain's cabin.

Thirty minutes later, amid the haze of smoke, Benn's sitting in the corner just staring at his hands in borderline terror. No thoughts, just oh dear gods hands.

Yasopp's doubled over the map table, laughing hysterically at something Shanks said five minutes ago.

Shanks has pulled you on top of him on his bed, arm curled around you, kissing you slowly, no worry at all of any other parties present.

But every so often, his head drops down to his pillows, and he spouts off some high-wisdom one-liner, and just stares off into space for a moment in wonder.

"If...if you drop a bar of soap on the floor...is the soap dirty, or is the floor clean?"

Mihawk

"You have what? Why?"

Disapproving stare.

Well, he might have dabbled in his younger years (no it had nothing to do with Shanks quit asking), but not for quite some time.

It dampens his senses, it's not worth the trouble.

But...maybe it wouldn't hurt, just this once.

Ten minutes later, he's laid back across his bed, arm curled around you, completely at one with everything.

Just staring up at the ceiling, thinking.

Everything makes perfect sense, everything is one, and it's just delightful.

If you need advice about anything, now is the time to ask, because all the secrets of the universe are now his.

He has no idea how far gone he actually is and honestly it's pretty hilarious.

Glares at you when you point it out—before giving a snort-laugh and agreeing with you.

It's a rarity that you get to see him this relaxed and unbothered, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Definitely initiate a make-out session; he's going to take it very slow, and very thorough, savoring you even more than he usually would.

"Mmm, you taste divine, little one...."

Buggy

"Are you serious? Oh, hell yes—"

Eyes light up like a kid at Christmas, you have what?!?!

Oh, he's down as a clown.

He literally said that line, and then grinned so hard that you almost don't want to shove him overboard for it.

He's more than prepared to make sure there are munchies available—mainly chocolate, since he has a serious sweet tooth.

Taking a toke and then kissing along your neck, making you giggle.

Unlike drinking, this is a private affair, just you and him. You're the only one who gets to see this side of him.

Making you giggle gives him life, so he's going to be murmuring stupid jokes in your ear in between trying to make you moan, and he'll settle for either.

"Ooh, yeah, that's it, baby—just give me what's mine."

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randomsufff · 3 months ago

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HEHAHBFKI More South Park doodles I think I’m going insane.

Actually this is kind of the product of me being liking South Park way back in high school but was too embarrassed to draw them when I was bored in class and now it’s all kinda flooding back 💀

Read below if you want to know more about my New Kid and my thoughts behind some of the doodles cause this turned out longer then I though 💀

Anyways- introducing my New Kid. No name cause I literally have no idea. Whatever the cannon name is ig- though I’d think it’d be funny if she was referred to New Kid by literally everyone like in game. I like the idea that a lot of people have with their New Kids that they liked the makeover section with the girls during the Stick of Truth a little too much. I also like it cause… uh… I didn’t play Stick of Truth. (The combat system is not my cup of tea) So it’s not until the start of TFBW does she know shes really a girl.

To give context to the top right drawing- I couldn’t remember the dialogue Wendy says in the alleyway if you say you’re a trans girl- but I do know what she says if your a cis girl (I always knew you were a girl) cause I did a second play through as a cis girl. And I don’t know if there’s supposed to be a huge time jump between the end of Stick of Truth and TFBW but I think it would be funny if it was just the next day- so combine these two fact to get “Wendy always clocked New Kid as a girl but NK just found out yesterday 💀”

Anyways- she’s such a cutie, I love her and her cool superhero outfit I gave her. Outside of the game- I’d like to think of her basically exactly how she acts in game. Mostly non-verbal, with the occasional zingy one liner, and just kinda goes along with the crazy shit the happens in South Park un phased. Like if she was in a episode- the plot would happen and she would be on screen, but wouldn’t say anything, and anytime another character would address her, they’d respond however as if she spoke lmao. Aroace, just like me, so she’s just friends with everyone (except Cartman) and vibes with everyone.

The mini Style comic I though of cause 1) I wondered if Kyle had the same elf ears as the other elfs did in game (again, never played and it’s been a while since I saw gameplay so whoops if it’s confirmed or whatever) and 2) I thought it would be funny if Stan was caught lacking and tried to /rp his way out of it (I wanted to add an extra bit where Kyle would be like “Oh, are our characters gay for each other??? (ARE YOU /SRS OR /J STAN)” and Stan would have to just “yes, and” his way out.)

The last three images were kinda of a stream of consciousness put on paper and made neat lol. I really like showing that all the costumes the kids wear are homemade and stuff- either stuff taken from their parents or visibly taped together etc- cause I think it’s charming. Anyways- I though Kyle’s little robe could be like one of his parents bath robe- and it would be a little too long for him to run without eating shit so he’d have to hike it up like a skirt/dress. Which lead to me thinking that Cartman would say some shit about that and how Kyle, who has a literal Golf Club, would smack his ass up. Which then lead to me thinking about how since Kyle’s the Elf King and Stan’s basically his right hand how he might lift it up wedding dress style if needed (/RP GUYS, RIGHT?RIGHT???) and how Cartman would react, which lead to that one JoJo meme cause thats literally how they’d retaliate.

Always- I’ll probably have at least one more post about South Park I swear. There was a period of time before I stopped watching (I gotta pick it up again) where I would doodle a bit of whatever was happening in the episode, each episode. Crazy I know, but not only did it improve my drawing skills but it helped me remember what actually happened in episodes cause I have shit memory and definitely don’t remember some of the episodes I watched. So I might redraw some of those- see if anyone can tell what episode they’re from.

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olderthannetfic · 10 months ago

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A fandom friend is convinced there's something wrong with me and I must have self-worth issues because normal people with healthy self-esteem and self-image wrote OCs as a kid that were self-inserts. I didn't, I wrote characters who were basically whatever I thought was cool at the time (which changed a lot over the years) and into something weird to add flavor to them. So instead of my Arab, ADHD AFAB self writing Arab ADHD AFAB OCs who shared my interests, I'd have a white autistic guy whose special interest was geology and who also loved basketball (I hate sports), or a black agender kid who had some symptoms of schizoaffective disorder, was really into art and art history and loved sweets. One character would be cool like my dad, always witty and ready to say a cool one liner, and another would be cool like my mom, calm, controlled and never responding to haters. None of them share much in common with me. And my friend is convinced this is a mental health red flag, because normal people and even abnormal people always write OCs who are like themselves, idealized versions of themselves, or otherwise are some degree of self-insert.

The more I think about it, the weirder I feel for not doing this. It feels like I didn't do fandom correctly, but also, maybe she's right? Maybe there is something wrong with not putting myself into my narratives. Why wouldn't I put myself in my fics if I liked myself? It's really unsettling to think about but I think I've realized she might have a point.

Then I thought of you. You've been in fandom way longer than either of us (we're both teenagers, for context) and you know a lot about fandom and psychology. So I figured if anyone could tell me what this says about me, it'd be you. What does it mean if you never wrote any OCs with self-insertion components and just kind of wrote random things instead? Does it mean anything bad?

Your friend is a moron.

'Fantasies about self' vs. 'no fantasies about self' is a major division among people. It's not just a page on the asexuality wiki about sex fantasies but an entire axis of interest. Hang around slash/BL fandom in particular and you will find a metric fuckton of people who never self-inserted.

Self inserts make my skin crawl.

It is a feeling of visceral disgust that was always there. How can anyone like that? Don't ask me to. Don't tell me about it. Ew, ew, ew, ew. It's like a mild form of dysphoria it's that bad sometimes.

Tell your friend to stop using Wattpad as the litmus test for normalcy.

Some of us were always more AO3.

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spop-romanticizes-abuse · 1 year ago

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i think i've said this before but i want to elaborate on it. i genuinely feel like the spop crew wrote c//a as some sort of torture p*rn. they know that people usually find an enemies to lovers arc sexy and intriguing. but the problem with c//a was that their fights were never equal. i don't know about y'all but when i think of enemies to lovers, i think of a dynamic where both individuals are at least somewhat on equal footing. i don't think about a relationship with a huge power dynamic where one of the characters is helpless and weak while the other takes every opportunity to torture them.

adora never tried to harm catra apart from self-defense, she always held back when she was fighting catra. she tried to reason with catra or just hold her off. meanwhile catra never held back on hurting adora. not once.

and all of this is framed as “hot”. it's framed as “sexual tension”. it's framed as “gay pining”, even though it's not. not to mention, most of the “homoerotic” fight scenes are where adora is either weak or helpless in some way. she's either restrained or too scared to fight back or actively stopping herself from injuring catra. and catra takes advantage of her kindness.

so what's the torture p*rn part of this? well. torture p*rn is basically a trope where a person (or multiple people being tortured) is the main attraction of the plot. c//a is supposed to be enemies to lovers, meaning they should be fighting equally, right? especially since adora is stronger and the “chosen one”, you'd think she'd definitely be defeating catra a lot more.

but no, most of their conflict is catra taking joy in harming adora. these scenes are framed in a more “intimate” way, with catra often touching adora without consent, saying vaguely flirtatious yet threatening one-liners and overall fueling the whole “sexual tension” part.

just take a look at these scenes. i can't completely blame the fandom for thinking these are sexy or erotic because they are framed that way. the crew themselves have admitted that c//a were supposed to have some sexual tension (despite being teenagers for at least two seasons, mind you) and it shows. adora may look scared or uncomfortable but it doesn't matter because the writers wants us to think that this is hot.

villains being creepy and borderline perverted is not a new thing, it's something that mainly came with queer-coding villains. but people often only do this to villains who are supposed to stay villains. and especially with the context that catra supposedly “loved” adora during all this, it just adds another layer of discomfort. it just feels like catra is taking the opportunity to not only hurt adora but also make her deeply uncomfortable by touching and interacting with her in a way that she did not consent to.

keep in mind that whenever adora has the upper hand, the show never frames their fights as homoerotic or weirdly intimate.

most of the time, she uses long range attack or she just goes on defense. the one time she attacked catra head on, she just decks catra in the face and is done with it. she doesn't cross catra's boundaries, she doesn't act flirtatious or touch catra inappropriately. the only scene where she can be described as “flirtatious” (though i would say she was just being smug) was when she wasn't attacking catra, but instead destroying one of entrapta's robots.

(and of course with no remorse, catra orders entrapta to activate the self-destruct on the robot so that adora could be blown to bits.)

so yeah. just because catra is a villain doesn't mean she has to be a creep. if the goal was to make her sexy (which is still weird since she was a teenager but regardless), there are other ways. there have been plenty of villains who are attractive and have a charming personality without being a total creep to the protagonists. for example, azula from ATLA is widely known as a queer awakening for many young girls because of how attractive she was (i know she was also a teenager. these are not my words, i'm just quoting the general public). and yet, you never see azula being creepily intimate with any of the protagonists. she often used long-range attack and she only goes as far as using some condescending language. it's just weird to write a villain who we should sympathize with, but then also make them a total creep.

#spop critical #spop #spop salt #spop criticism #spop discourse #she ra #anti catradora #anti catra #anti c//a #anticatra #antic//a #anticatradora #anti spop

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grimmcheems · 4 months ago

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Yakuza Hinami AU🌸

This has been brewing in my head as an idea for like years lmao😭. Idk but I always thought it’d be kinda cool if Hinami’s father was also an important figure in the underground of ghoul society aside from being a doctor bc Jason fr tore him up and Mado was on his ass too. That mixed with the fact that Hinami does become involved with ghoul society later on in canon made me love her even more.

They have her father’s kagune up on display as decor, she obtained it at some point and Akira is pissed about it(though she does not know it is being used this way), newer members don’t know why it’s there and think better than to ask directly, so the older members just got used to referring it as “Daddy”😬

I rly need to start providing the initial context to my ideas bc there’s so much that goes on in my head for my AU lores before I draw a particular setting of it and which characters I choose to include. Hinami is basically a selective mute in the beginning of this after her father is killed by Mado and her and her mother form a close relationship with a ghoul investigator (Nakajima, but before they figure out that Ryouko is one of heir suspects but after his partner is killed by Touka) Later on Hinami is on the run and living in disguise with Touka until her parents followers find her and try to raise her to be the next leader of the group.

The yakuza group is named “The Winds , which is sort of a play on how her parents were inspired by it when naming her, and sort of used as a one liner by elite group members and those who manage to escape the hands of the Doves by saying “it must’ve been the wind”(or something similar to that phrase, it it also how the Doves speak about them in public settings as to not cause alarm and used to brush off any inconveniences they experience from the group itself).

Uta is the spokesperson of The Clowns and they often butt heads with Hinami over territorial disputes and whatnot, so his visits are frequent and he is rather surprised when he sees her for the first time again when she’s older and sees just how far and high up she managed to climb in ghoul society. He mostly teases her and Yomo does not appreciate it. Yomo joined her group at some point because he wanted to maintain ties with Ayato, and he does reveal himself to be his and Touka’s uncle and last living relative (it always bothered me that he never said anything to either of them about that in canon but at least he treasures his niece)

I also gave Uta a lot of color, he was gonna be paler but I thought more color to his face would suit him. He also has a soft expression bc his eyes are closed.

Banjou sort of takes care of the more visual side of things when it comes to Hinami(he does her hair but who does her nails?!?), I love how they have a bond in canon but in this he’s mainly like a big brother and he is always concerned with the way she is presented to others because she’s their leader.

She practically becomes like a legend and spoken of like a myth by the CCG and has a SS(-) rating. They’ve never seen her in combat and only have her combat with Mado on her file record so they base it off that, and she never really has to step in because other people take care of things for her. However being the head of the group they gave her a high rating as well as factoring in her chimera type kagune she’s sure to deal a lot of damage to anyone who’d cross her path. A lot of the wierdo investigators dream of having parts of her like a trophy someday, hence the dialogue of an investigator wishing he could see her kagune up close and in action someday.

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lazuliquetzal · 2 years ago

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Comedy Is A Lie: I’m Going To Explain The Joke And It’s Going To Make Everything Worse

A buddy asked me why I cut a good joke from one of my fics and my immediate answer was “it killed the tension,” which, upon reflection, is a pathetic answer that is mostly inaccurate and does not even come CLOSE to how much thought I put into comedy in my writing. So I guess I’m going to write this out and excise the demon of over-explanation.

Part The First: What Is Funny

The biggest thing I try and keep in mind when writing editing comedy (and anything, really, but especially for comedy) is rhythm. Lots of parts to rhythm! Most obvious is the word-to-word/sentence-to-sentence flow. Timing is a really important aspect of verbal comedy, which is why performance is a good medium to use. You get to control the delivery of every sentence and the spaces in between. But when you’re writing, you have significantly less control over how a reader will interpret the rhythm: all you can do is word your sentences as best as you can and give them rhythm cues via punctuation. (This is why I use so many em dashes and commas… I'm working on that…)

The other part to rhythm is on a more macro scale. There are jokes that will roll along with the flow of a story. For me, these are jokes that don't deviate from the context of the scene too much. They connect one subject to the next, or they build off of each other (a ‘yes, and’ sequence, for example). Alternatively, the joke is delivered in a really understated way. Like passing off something objectively batshit as status quo. Either way, they flow!

Then there are jokes that will halt a scene in its tracks. These are jokes that recontextualize a situation, or make a particularly large leap from the current topic. Or, you've been setting up for this punchline for a while and this joke is payoff. Or the joke is just really, really funny. These are the kind of jokes where you need to give the characters (or the reader) a beat to process them. Sometimes. We’ll get back to that.

Part the Second: How Is Funny

So the point of all that rhythm stuff is that comedy has a flow! If every line is a witty one-liner, none of the lines are witty one-liners! If every joke is a one-hit-KO, you have left your reader unconscious. Basically, if you are constantly being #Funny, you become repetitive and predictable, and that is the death of tension (and humor is a tension-driven element).

One way to think of comedic pacing is setup (AKA building tension) and punchline (AKA payoff). It’s a balancing act: the more you build up tension, the more satisfying the payoff is going to be, but if you spend too long building up, you start dragging. You want the reader to think, “I can’t wait for the punchline!” and not, “oh my god, PLEASE get to the punchline already.”

Fun way to make the tension last longer is to put all those flow-y connector jokes along the way. The reader’s anticipating the Joke, so by giving them little jokes, it meets their expectations in little ways so that they don’t get too antsy.

Hey, what’s tension, you ask?

Part The Third: Why Is Funny

When I read a book, there are two emotions that get me to turn the page:

I don’t know what’s going to happen next, and I’m curious!

I know X is going to happen, and I’m anticipating it!

That’s tension. (Something something semantics—I’ve never taken a creative writing class, I don’t have a vocabulary)

You can have the calmest, low-stakes fluffiest fic in the world but as long as your readers are experiencing either curiosity or anticipation, Congrats! You have tension! I, however, like putting readers on fast-paced rollercoasters, so that’s the lens through which I’m tackling this section, which is: how do I use jokes in a story structure context? What purpose does a clown serve?

I mentioned earlier that some jokes are bricks to the face: they demand to be processed. Most of the time, I put high-impact jokes in places where I need the story to “reset” in a way: force a beat so the reader can process both the joke and the plot. That’s using humor to release tension. Literally. Laughter relieves stress.

But! You can also use those jokes to make the tension even worse! If you drop a bomb and immediately press forward, no processing allowed, you get stressful comedy. You want to laugh, but also a bunch of other stuff is happening and it feels kind of rude to laugh, so you get stressed. Sometimes humor can undermine a climactic moment, but if you use the right joke in the right spot you create shrimp emotions. If you’ve read DotF ch8 you know what I’m talking about.

Jokes also just make for good plot points? A lot of jokes are built on recontextualization. Everybody loves a good twist/reversal/surprise in a plot. Just make a joke and re-frame it, and bam! You’ve plotted! (Everything I’ve ever written started off as a joke.)

Wait, What Was The Question?

Why did I cut the joke? It was a waste of a brick to the face. It was too referential, it required the audience to know/agree with something completely unrelated to the story, it didn’t build upon what I already established. It ruined the rhythm.

I need to emphasize that, despite all my Thoughts on this, the way I appraise my jokes is 80% vibe-based. I probably could have kept the joke, and it would have been totally fine. But I would know. I would know that my intended rhythm is broken… it would haunt me until the end of time…

#this isn't even getting onto building a Comedic Cast or nailing down a Comedic Characterization or Comedy-As-Action or Varying Your Humor #I'M JUST SAYING #my writing tends toward stupid crack comedy but i take my crack comedy extremely seriously #the short rule is that if it's funny it's valid #the long rule is that the more effort you put into something the funnier it becomes #it's about PURPOSE #writing #lazuli writes #comedy #lazuli talks

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fairyniceyeah · 3 months ago

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💎 I love my team, I love my crew (Part 3/7)

Title from Super (SEVENTEEN)

ILMTILMC Part I ILMTILMC Part II

Summary: Priority is to get the sick members comfortable.

CW: emeto, diarrhea in the context of illness, nightmares

Sickies: Woozi/Jihoon + Joshua + Seungkwan + Minghao + S.Coups/Seungcheol Caretakers: Hoshi/Soonyoung + Wonwoo + DK/Seokmin + Vernon + Jun + Jeonghan + Mingyu + Dino/Chan

💎🐯

“Shh, he just fell asleep”, Wonwoo whispered, holding his index finger to his lips to indicate quiet. Soonyoung nodded in agreement and walked over to them as silently as possible. It was cute, really. Jihoon was sprawled all over Wonwoo’s lap, effectively trapping the rapper under him. His hair was braided back in a french braid - the dancer hadn’t even known Wonwoo knew how to do that - and he was wearing his pajamas. In sleep, the producer looked so young and peaceful, if not for the paleness and the flush on his cheeks.

And the fact that they were still in the bathroom with the smell of sickness heavy in the air.

“How is he?”, Soonyoung asked quietly and knelt down next to Wonwoo, watching Jihoon breathe deeply. He was sound asleep - hopefully he would stay that way. From what Soonyoung had heard the producer had really gone through it during the afternoon.

“Hasn’t thrown up in about maybe thirty minutes, I’d reckon. I managed to get him into clean clothes and take some fever reducers and the antiemetic he normally takes for his migraines. He basically passed out on me after that”, Wonwoo explained and sighed. “He’s really not feeling good. Anyways, what was that meeting about?”

“Shua-hyung, Cheollie-hyung and Minghao-yah are also sick”, Soonyoung explained, watching as Wonwoo frowned in concern, “it’s likely a very contagious stomach flu. We split into teams to take care of the sick members … as long as we still can.”

Soonyoung was well aware that his voice was trembling. If he was honest, he was terrified. An outbreak of illness had not been on his mind when they had left the harbor two days ago. Even more so, they had been happily playing table tennis without a care in the world only hours ago.

Now it was evening and nearly one-third of the members were down.

“It’s going to work out, Soonyoung-ah”, Wonwoo comforted him, though Soonyoung knew him well enough that there was doubt in his voice.

“Why don’t we lay Jihoonie down on a bed? You both can’t be comfortable like this”, Soonyoung suggested. He itched to do something to help.

Wonwoo nodded and sheepishly added: “I think I lost feeling in my ass about twenty minutes ago.”

It was a bit awkward to lift Jihoon, even with his small frame and low weight - even lower now after he had been throwing up for hours - in the cramped bathroom but they managed. Wonwoo nearly fell when standing up, even his legs seemingly asleep.

“Let’s put him on Dino’s bed”, Wonwoo whispered, gesturing with one hand to the stuffed otter that was decorating one of the two lower bunk. Soonyoung, who had lifted Jihoon to his chest, raised his eyebrows. The other lower bunk was clearly Jihoon’s, the only bed completely empty of stuffed animals or multiple pillows. “He said he threw up on his bedding. I don’t think any of us even had time to take care of that.”

Soonyoung grimaced and nodded, waiting for Wonwoo to pull back the covers so the dance leader could lay down his precious burden. Jihoon stirred a bit when he came in contact with the mattress and both older members held their breath in hopes he’d fall back asleep. Jihoon sighed in his sleep, pulled the stuffed otter to his chest and curled up. It was adorable really.

They covered him back up and Soonyoung couldn’t resist snapping a quick picture and sending it to the group chat. When he was better Woozi would likely kill him but for now Soonyoung thought the rest of the members might need a pick-me-up and Jihoon was very cute. Like a kitten. There was a reason why Carats called the 96-liners the cat-line.

“He will not like that”, Wonwoo commented but Soonyoung saw him save the picture to his gallery anyways. So he just shrugged. “Let’s get the bedsheets clean, I guess?”

Wonwoo nodded and then said: “Why don’t you stay with Jihoonie? I have been cooped up in the bathroom for some time, I need to walk around a bit.”

“Yeah, sure, if you don’t mind”, Soonyoung agreed easily. He didn’t really want to leave Jihoon’s side anyways.

“Nah, it’s fine.”

💎⚔️

“Oh, it’s you”, Seungkwan whispered, a bit dejectedly, when Seokmin entered the sleeping cabin he shared with Joshua, Mingyu and Wonwoo.

“Thank you. That doesn’t hurt at all”, Seokmin said, only slightly offended and closed the door. The room was now only illuminated by the light coming in even through the curtains. It took a few seconds for Seokmin’s eyes to adjust to the relative darkness but then he spotted Joshua laying down on his bed, eyes closed and breathing deeply, seemingly asleep. There was a bucket by his head.

As Seokmin looked around he nearly missed the dark silhouette sitting on the floor, leaning back against the bed across from Joshua’s. Seungkwan had his head bowed, knees pulled to his chest. Something was off.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, hyung”, the youngest vocalist whispered, “I just hoped for Jeonghannie-hyung or Cheollie-hyung. I … I don’t feel good.”

Dread electrified Seokmin’s whole body. No, this was going wrong too quickly. Did they have to add Seungkwan to the list of sick members this shortly after Seungcheol-hyung? Seokmin didn’t like to admit it but he was terrified. He didn’t have a problem with helping sick members even if they were throwing up, which wasn’t what everybody could stomach, but caring for two sick members on his own? No, that would not work. There was a reason why they had decided on teams of two after all.

Seokmin shook himself. He didn’t have time to worry about that. He had a dongsaeng to cuddle. Careful to not stub his toes in the dark, Seokmin made his way to Seungkwan and knelt down beside him, pulling the youngest BSS member against his side. Immediately Seungkwan curled into his arms, sighing constantly.

“What’s wrong, Kwan-ah?”, Seokmin asked worriedly, inconspicuously feeling the younger’s forehead. Seungkwan was warm, maybe a bit warmer than usual, but Seokmin couldn’t tell if it was a fever. He hoped they had a thermometer somewhere because even if it wasn’t a fever yet it would turn into one for sure.

“I feel nauseous”, Seungkwan mumbled, “I mean I saw Woozi-hyung and Joshua-hyung throw up but I don’t think this is just sympathy.”

Seokmin hummed, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Do you want to go up to the deck, see if some fresh air helps?”

Seungkwan sighed but nodded. Seokmin stood up and then pulled the younger to his feet. Seungkwan swayed for a moment but gained his balance before Seokmin got too worried.

But now that Seungkwan was standing, clutching the back of Seokmin’s shirt did the older vocalist realize he would have to split himself in two if he wanted to help Seungkwan up to the deck and keep an eye on Joshua at the same time. Well, Joshua was asleep. Maybe he could get a manager to keep an eye on him while he was with Seungkwan. Decision made, Seokmin took Seungkwan’s hand in his and gently led him out of the room.

“What about hyung?”, Seungkwan asked worriedly, swallowing after.

“He’s asleep. I’m sure we’ll find somebody who can look after him soon.”

They had barely taken a few steps into the direction of the stairs that would lead them up to the living room hallway and then consequently out on deck when they ran into Vernon.

“Hey”, the rapper greeted them, carrying a stack of clothes in his arms. Seokmin winced, understanding instantly what had happened.

“Nonie”, Seungkwan whispered and rushed to his best friend, basically throwing himself into his arms. Vernon nearly dropped the items he was carrying but managed to hold onto them and wrap Seungkwan into his arms at the last second. Worriedly, he looked over Seungkwan’s shoulder at Seokmin.

Before the older vocalist had a chance to explain, Seungkwan whimpered: “Don’t feel good, Nonie.”

Understanding bloomed on Vernon’s face, closely followed by worry. “Have you been sick?”, he asked, pulling away to muster his other half. Seungkwan shook his head.

“Feel like I might though”, he mumbled. Vernon sighed and rubbed his arm. He was surprisingly unfazed by the sickly member considering his squeamishness but then again Vernon could push past his distaste for vomit when Seungkwan was involved.

“I was about to take him up to the deck and see if that helps”, Seokmin explained, “but uh, actually, could you do that? We left Shua-hyung alone…”

“Yeah, let’s go”, Vernon replied, sneaking his arm around Seungkwan’s waist to support him on the short walk, “we just need to stop by Jun and Minghao.”

“Thanks, Nonie”, Seokmin said. “Feel better, Kwan-ah.”

The two left quickly and Seokmin turned around to go check on Joshua, feverishly hoping that his absence had not been noticed.

When he pushed the door open, guilt washed over him. Joshua was awake, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. He truly had chosen the moment nobody was there for him to wake up. Hearing the door, Joshua turned to look at Seokmin. Even with the low light spilling inside, he winced and squeezed his eyes shut but not before Seokmin was able to see the tears in his eyes.

“Hyung”, he breathed and rushed over, “how are you feeling?”

“My head”, Joshua whispered, “it hurts so badly, Min-ah.”

“Do you want to try medication?”, Seokmin offered, feeling a bit helpless. Sure, he had seen the older members take care of Joshua and Woozi when they were in the grasp of a migraine but he felt seriously out of his depth now.

“I don’t know if I can keep them down”, Joshua admitted, “where are Hannie or Cheollie?”

Seokmin winced. Should he tell Joshua or not? Worry wouldn’t help the American but then again, keeping him in the dark was also not realistic. “We’re having a bit of a problem”, Seokin started to explain, wincing as he realized his first sentence was a big understatement. “A lot of members are sick at the moment. The medic said it’s likely norovirus. Next to you, Woozi-hyung, Minghao and Seungcheol-hyung are sick. Seungkwan might be too.”

“Oh.” Joshua looked stunned.

“Yeah.”

They were silent for a few seconds until Joshua was seemingly hit with another bout of pain. He closed his eyes and pressed his palms against his forehead, groaning. Seokmin internally panicked but knew he couldn’t really afford to. He spotted the ice pack that must have fallen off of Joshua when he woke up and grabbed it. It was still mostly cold. Relieved, he lifted it and took Joshua’s hands into his own to free his forehead. The hold Joshua had on his hand was painfully tight but it lessened a bit when the ice came into contact with his burning skin. They sat there, at the edge of the bed, for a few minutes with Joshua just breathing. Seokmin didn’t know what to do but be silent support.

Finally Joshua took one last deep breath in before asking: “Painkillers? They are with my bag, I think.”

Seokmin scrambled to his feet, happy to have something to help. He spotted the blister and within a minute he had gotten Joshua to drink a bit of water along with the pills.

“Do you want to lie back down?”, he asked then.

“No”, Joshua choked out, “I think I feel better sitting up. Even my head. Min-ah, I’m sorry, but can you hand me the bucket just in case?”

Worriedly Seokmin bent down and lifted it up into his hyung’s lap. Joshua mumbled a small “thanks” and bent over it, one arm coming to rest on the rim and his head laying down on it. Seokmin, not sure how else to comfort him, just ran his hand up and down his back.

Watching his hyung nauseously bent over a bucket, occasionally swallowing down gags was not subject to his entertainment tax. Seokmin looked away, staring into the mostly dark room not that the sun had apparently started to set. He wondered how Seungkwan was faring. How Seungcheol and Woozi and Minghao were doing. Had any of the other members started to feel the effects of sickness already? Did he himself? He hadn’t paused yet to actually check in with his body on how he was doing.

Seokmin took a deep breath himself, trying not to freak himself out. But as he closed his eyes and focused on his head and stomach, he felt fine. There was no upset, nothing bothering his body except for maybe a tiny sunburn on his shoulders.

The vocalist was torn out of his thoughts by the sound of a nearly silent gag. He opened his eyes just in time to see a watery mouthful of vomit rush out of Joshua’s mouth into the bucket. There went the medication.

Joshua heaved a few times, Seokmin able to feel his back ripple under his hand but he brought nothing else up. It caused the vocalist to wonder if Joshua was empty and had nothing else to throw up in his system or if he had managed to keep himself from vomiting up more.

Then Joshua was whimpering, silent tears streaming down his face.

Now Seokmin couldn’t contain the panic anymore. “Hyung?”, he asked, rushing to put the bucket down and wrap the older in his arms. Joshua just shook, face buried in Seokmin’s shoulder. “What’s happening?”

“It hurts so much, Min-ah”, Joshua sobbed.

💎😸

“Xiao Ba, please let me in”, Jun begged, knocking on the bathroom door for the umpteenth time. Minghao hadn’t exactly … made it to the bathroom before his stomach had rebelled for the third time that day. The younger was terribly embarrassed and Jun got it, he really did. He’d feel humiliated too if he had soiled himself in front of another member even in the throes of illness. But it had caused Minghao to lock himself in the bathroom, sobbing so loudly and violently that Jun feared he would pass out due to dehydration before Jun managed to coax him out. Vernon appearing to help out had been as much of a curse as a blessing. Getting him to grab new clothes made everything just a tiny bit easier for Jun.

Yet, he was becoming terribly sick - pun not intended - of staring at the door for minutes on end, without being able to help his dongsaeng. He was just glad that a kind manager had cleaned the bathroom earlier and had even thought of putting a trash can inside. Plus, he had informed Jun of what he had done which had reassured the dancer a lot.

“Eissa, I know you are embarrassed”, Jun said defeatedly in Chinese - so very grateful for the bit of privacy it granted them - and let his head thunk against the wood, “but I promise you gege isn’t judging you or is angry or whatever you are thinking. You’re sick. It happens. Please, let me help you, baby.”

The lock firmly stayed in the occupied position.

Jun sank down to his knees and sat down awkwardly on the ground. It promised to be a long wait.

A minute passed. Two. Five. Ten.

Just as Jun was about to knock on the door again Vernon appeared, his arm slung around a pale looking Seungkwan. Jun scrambled to get to his feet, his hand immediately coming up to feel Seungkwan’s clammy cheek. He didn’t seem overly warm. But the paleness and especially the quietude made it obvious that Seungkwan was not feeling well.

“Oh, love, you too?”, Jun cooed.

“Haven't thrown up yet”, Seungkwan muttered. He looked like he would any moment now. Jun kept that thought to himself.

“We wanted to go outside, see if it helps a bit”, Vernon explained. Jun nodded in agreement. At least it couldn’t hurt.

“Go, go”, he said, ushering them to the door leading them outside, taking the change of clothes from Vernon in the same movement. He watched them trudge outside, Vernon never letting go of his best friend.

The ship was built with the hallway having a row of windows showing the deck outside, with the living room separated by a wall and the door outside and the bathroom on opposite short ends, with a tiny alcove with the stairs down to the sleep level. So Jun was able to watch them stand by the railing a bit longer, his only pastime. It was cute really, how Vernon was fussing over the vocalist.

A manager approached the two maknaes and conversed with Vernon for a moment, looking worried. Both of them started when suddenly Seungkwan leaned forward and presumably threw up over the railing. Jun couldn’t see but if it wasn’t obvious from the way Seungkwan was bent forward, his back moving with the retches, it was by Vernon brushing his fringe back and looking at the manager with panic.

Jun was brought out of his worries when Jeonghan and the medic emerged from the living room, both looking unhappy.

“How is Cheollie-hyung?”

“How is Minghao-yah?”

Jeonghan and Jun asked the questions nearly simultaneously, both chuckling a bit at the situation despite it not actually not being that funny. It was the small things helping them keep their sanity.

“Chan-ah and Mingyu got him”, Jeonghan replied. “He fell asleep on the couch, his fever is pretty high. Hyukjae-ssi…” - he gestured at the medic - “...is going to check out what medications we have available and the managers are trying to figure out a way to sail back. Apparently one of the managers with a sailing license is sick too, so we are not sure how to proceed. I wanted to go check on Shua and Jihoonie after this.”

“And Seungkwan, I guess”, Jun said, nodding his head in the direction of the sick member now sitting down with his back to the railing and Vernon and the manager kneeling beside him. Jeonghan sighed.

“And Seungkwan.”

“Minghao is … well, he’s pretty embarrassed”, Jun said, slightly awkward. He didn’t want to tattle on his dongsaeng but he knew Minghao needed help soon. And Jun, despite his closeness to him, was slowly doubting he’d get Minghao out of the bathroom any time sooner.

“Poor him”, Jeonghan sighed. They all stopped when the sound of coughing took up. Minghao was throwing up again.

“He’s throwing up and having diarrhea, right?”, the medic asked. Jun nodded.

“Fever?”

“Maybe a slight one.”

“He’s going to be dehydrated soon, if he isn’t already. Can you try to get him out? I have at least a few IV’s and he will likely need one if he can’t keep any fluids inside”, the medic said.

Jun nodded. “I’ll try.”

💎🐕

Mingyu wished himself back in time. Arguing with Seokmin over a lost table tennis match was so much better than seeing their members succumb to the sickness one by one. He most certainly wasn’t a big fan of puking and watching over Seungcheol after said leader had just spewed his stomach onto the floor and had fallen asleep clutching the plastic bag in his hands … Mingyu had to admit he wished he was somewhere far away.

Dino had curled up with a gloom look on his face by the leader’s head and was absently running his hands through Seungcheol’s hair. Mingyu himself had sat down on a chair further away, burying his head in his hands. He wanted to help but he’d also rather stay far far away.

“Hyung?”, Dino asked, sounding a bit concerned. He probably knew how Mingyu was feeling. The rapper had never hid the fact that vomit grossed him out. He just felt bad for burdening the maknae.

“Hm?”, he asked, lifting his head.

“Can you go get an ice pack from the kitchen? Cheollie-hyung is burning up”, Dino requested and then added with a wink: “And while you’re there, why don’t you check if we have ingredients for juk or galbitang? I’m sure the members will appreciate some light meals soon.”

It was a beautiful out. They truly had the best maknae. Minguy nodded and nearly stumbled into the doorway on his way to the kitchen. Inside he met a stylist noona, boiling water on the stove.

“Hello Mingyu-ssi”, she greeted with a smile, “I thought I could prepare some tea for the sick ones.”

“Thank you, noona. It’s very nice of you. I’m going to bring an ice pack to Cheollie-hyung and then maybe we can cook together?” Anything to get his mind of the sickness spreading and the noona was nice.

Mingyu returned to the living room just in time to find Dino trying to soothe an agitated Seungcheol. The leader was deeply asleep, it seemed, but trapped in a nightmare. He was tossing and turning, sweat pouring out of every pore and he seemed to be crying.

It tore at Mingyu’s heart strings to see their mat-hyung like that. Normally Seungcheol was emotionally so strong and while he had cried in their presence before - how could he have not in all the time they’ve known each other? - it hadn’t been this desperate for a long time, not since his anxiety was at its worst.

It had been years and years ago when Seungcheol had admitted to Mingyu during a sleepless night in a shared hotel room that part of the reason for his insomnia was the fear of nightmares. Mingyu had woken up to a crying and kicking leader, completely lost in the scenarios his brain came up with. Even with Seventeen famous and successful, Seungcheol had never been able to shake the fear of disbandment, the fear of losing his members like they had lost Doyoon, MingMing, Dongjin and Samuel before debut.

“Hyungie”, Mingyu whispered and within seconds he was on his knees in front of the couch, stroking back Seungcheol’s hair and trying to reduce his subconscious fears.

“I don’t know what happened”, Dino said, eyes blown wide, “he just started crying in his sleep.”

It was no wonder that Dino was so scared. He had likely never seen Seungcheol like this. It had been terrifying for Mingyu back then too, not knowing what to do when his friend wouldn’t wake up from his terror. Now Mingyu knew to gently rub his arms and talk to him, so that Seungcheol woke up feeling comforted not trapped when held down (which had been a mistake Mingyu had only made once).

“Nightmare. He’s had them since forever”, Mingyu explained. He felt bad that Seungcheol was going through this but he was also glad he could finally help. “Hold the ice pack to his forehead. Here. I’m gonna try to wake him up.”

Dino nodded and took the ice pack from Mingyu, nearly dropping it with his shaking hands.

“Don’t be scared, Chan-ah. I know it looks scary but Cheollie-hyung is gonna be fine, you’ll see.”

It took a few minutes of soothingly rubbing Seungcheol’s arm to stimulate him and whispered reassurances and comforting words before the general leader slowly calmed down and his eyes blinked open. Tears were still leaking out the corners of his eyes and he looked to be in pain but he was awake. The terror was gone, still his hands came up to clutch at Mingyu’s shirt.

“Ming’?”, Seungcheol whispered, his raspy voice swallowing down the last part of his name. He sounded so exhausted and his eyes, while open, were glazed over. Mingyu cupped the leader’s face and brushed a falling tear away with his thumb. Seungcheol’s skin was burning.

“I’m here, hyung. You’re okay. It was just a nightmare.”

“Nightmare?”, Seungcheol repeated, sounding young and lost. “I don’t … ‘gyu, I feel sick.”

Mingyu had no idea why the situation didn’t make him want to run away. If anything he wanted to stay closer to his hyung and comfort him, even if he threw up. There was so much vulnerability in his voice and such child-like innocence.

“It’s okay, we got you, hold on a sec if you can”, Mingyu promised even when Dino threw him a confused and concerned look.

The younger rapper helped Seungcheol move his feet off the couch and lifted the leader’s upper body into his embrace, so that Seungcheol was basically slumped against his chest. Dino quickly provided them with the plastic bag that Seungcheol nearly immediately lifted to his lips. The leader seemed exhausted and all his energy seemed to be going towards staying awake. His hands were shaking and Dino had to help him keep holding the bag open.

It took only a few seconds until Seungcheol started expelling more of his stomach contents, the bag quickly growing full. Mingyu held Seungcheol tightly, fearing the leader would fall over if he didn’t. One of his hands came down to press softly against Seungcheol’s stomach, hoping that it would help the leader’s pain.

Watching Seungcheol throw up was disgusting, the sight, sound and smell, everything a bit too much, but Mingyu couldn’t put his own comforts over his sick leader’s. And if he got sick, he got sick. He probably would get infected in the near future anyway. There was no way out.

It took a painful few minutes until Seungcheol stopped vomiting and by then he was so weak that he just fell back against Mingyu, curling up in his lap and softly crying again. Dino took the bag from his hands, tied it off and set it to the side.

“Hyungie?”, he asked, brushing back Seungcheol’s fringe. “Do you want to rinse out your mouth?”

Seungcheol shook his head. “Tired”, he whispered, more tears leaking from his eyes. “My head hurts. I just want to sleep. I don’t even know why I’m crying.” The last sentence was accented by an adorable pout that would have sent Mingyu squealing in any other situation.

“I think it’s the fever”, Mingyu mumbled, leaning down to press his lips to hot skin. “We need to get you cooled down.”

“I’ll get more ice packs”, Dino suggested and scurried off. Mingyu just continued rubbing his stomach, it seemed to comfort the leader at least a bit.

ILMTILMC Part IV

Masterlist links: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

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tumblingxelian · 5 months ago

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I have to admit I'm impressed with how awful a father CRWBY made Taiyang while giving him a veneer of reasonability.

To the point that his ability to just spout off things reminds me of an Aunt and Uncle who have no idea just how badly they are painting themselves.

As in - when he makes a judgement call about how Yang lost her arm that fits it into his "Over dependence on his semblance" it's incredibly telling about him not ever actually asking anyone about what happened.

It means he never talked to Yang about it, or even you know offered because while Yang wouldn't have said everything she'd probably have said a little.

Or talked to any of the students who probably got information about what happened from Blake when she dragged Yang to safety. Which wouldn't have been much but probably included the fact that Blake was attacked by someone, Yang intervened.

Given that students presumably died when Beacon fell and that Yang was a first year student... Like by itself, Yang being alive enough for a teammate to save her is a victory.

Nevermind context of her going up against someone that fought Blake, who came back injured herself, and Adam probably did get ID as going around killing students. So the fact that Yang was vastly outclassed would have been known, you know if Taiyang asked at all about "What happenend". Or worse - he did and still blames Yang. Like what did he expect her to do - leave Blake to die? Yang got Blake enough room to run, Blake used the opportunity to get both of them out of there but Yang bought that opportunity for Blake.

Meanwhile I'm looking forward to the Belladonnas actually talking to Yang. Because I don't think it's an accident that we didn't see said interaction before we started being shown in detail the grease fire of the Xialong Rose family.

From my perspective Tai is a rather interesting execution on the archetypical father on these fronts. IE, he's not a classic bad father the way Jac is, or the classic emotionally distant husk archetype. Yet to me, he is still 100% a big problem and done a lot of harm to Ruby & Yang with lackluster parenting & 'teaching'.

As outlined here.

I think this is one of the reasons why a lot of people struggle to actually see him as flawed even when e gets basic facts wrong.

Another reason is just how much undue credit men are given by default that women have to earn. Hence lots of people shrugging off Qrow's drinking or Ozpin's manipulation, or Ironwood's authoritarianism until they couldn't anymore.

Though being more charitable, I would also note how CRWBY often play these characters against their more traditional archetypes to help offset the audiences presumptions.

For instance,

Ozpin is a mysterious headmaster of an adventurers school but he's the 'fun' headmaster who both helps the kids go on adventures but unlike certain other headmasters sends an adult escort with them.

Or Ironwood, he's a big military hard liner who wants more tech, bigger weapons and to throw his military around. But he asks about the kids, he jokes casually, he's not just some General Ripper.

& Qrow of course is the bitter veteran and mentor, who is super badass & drinks/smokes, but in contras, he's also seemingly functional, friendly and clearly has a good rapport with his nieces.

Its easy to see why people saw those aspects and were willing to ignore things like:

Ozpin sending teenagers into terrorist dens, Ironwood backstabbing his allies while making himself out to be the victim, and Qrow's blatant dependence on alcohol to function.

Cos CRWBY made them characters & not archetypes.

So when the shit hit the fan and subtext became text, subtly problematic behavior became blatantly problematic and festering problems once seen as comedic now had real weight.

I feel Tai fits the same mold, he's on the surface 'functional', he definitely cares, and even seems to do some 'fun dad' stuff. He just also as no idea how Yang's Semblance works, & was absent or otherwise none functional for so long its left deep scars on Yang having to keep the family together & Ruby outright says Yang raised her.

He's in many ways a more realistic and nuanced portrayal of a dysfunctional or toxic parent who may not obviously have issues the way an open abuser like Jac, or an absentia parent like Raven might but can still do harm.

Also excellent breakdown on how the surrounding context of the Fall of Beacon. Team RWBY are first years, Blake is an incredibly experienced combatant, Yang had been put through the ringer. Literally everything was on fire and even people like Ozpin died.

The fact the whole team made it out at all is nothing short of a miracle. But accepting that "Sometimes bad things happen" is a surrender of power, its an admission that there was nothing to be done and that is terrifying. Especially for a man whose had two of the most important people in his life vanish on him without a trace.

He wants there to be something in Yang to blame because then there is something that can be done about it. Add in his clear and overtly stated projection of Raven onto her, and hos incoherent his reads on her personality are given Yang's addressed stuff like stubbornness & strategy well before this.

& you get a parent making being dismembers in a no win situation against a more powerful opponent the victims fault while giving vague, generalist advice to feel like they're doing something.

Gosh I want them to just adore her, and her to adore the Belladonna's.

Thanks for the ask, and good luck on that essay you mentioned, remember to tag me ;)

#RWBY #Yang Xiao Long #Text Post #Ask #Do not clown on this post

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omarera · 3 months ago

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Breaking down the Aftonbladet article putting into Swedish context, at least my perspective. Markus is viewing the award as a music award and he has strong opinions on what his music taste is. People should vote as he wants lol. So a positive thing g here is that Omar seems to have a lot of votes. He is always very sarcastic and often have one line slaps sticks liners in his articles and is always straight forward. Markus wants it to be a his taste of “best music “ award but in reality fans are voting based on their own taste and dedication to vote. He needs to change his view of what Rockbjörnen is and why people vote.

Long post ahead…

Some nominations are the joke of the year. Doesn't just stand out. It sticks the eyes.

Ok, I have a few questions. La Gunilla? Fröken Snusk? Where did the musical taste go, dear audience? Is it out drunkenly riding a valley horse?

Since Rockbjörnen is Aftonbladet's prize, I should probably hold back.

It will be such a bad atmosphere otherwise.

The taste is different. After rain comes sun. It's always worse in Gällivare. Take pastors in Knutby with a grain of salt, and so on.

But one of the nominations doesn't just stand out. It sticks out the eyes of sensitive people.

Gunilla Persson? What is she doing here? Her contribution in the Melodifestivalen, "I won't shake (la la Gunilla)", was quite a lot. But "Breakthrough of the year"? What to say about it? Hawk tuah?

Nominating her is like watching the pole vault final at the Olympics, watching Armand Duplantis break a new world record and then giving the Gold of Achievement to a falcon.

I interpret everything as Aftonbladet's dear readers trolling us. If La Gunilla is the breakthrough of the year, you might as well give the bear to Babsan's chorizo hit "Give me a Spaniard", even though the song was released in 2011.

That would be about as reasonable.

For context: Babsan you all know 🫠 but Gunilla Persson is known for being a “Hollywood wife reality star” and she is just loved or hated and just a strong character. She is not a music artist and the actual new breakthrough music artists gets in her shadow.

Another nomination makes me demand that Sweden should introduce a driver's license test before people can express themselves about music. Otherwise, there is a great risk that many people will accelerate backwards towards a red light on the left side of the traffic. That is, cogs in the run-up by voting for Fröken Snusk.Her mix of knight fun and epadunk in a pink robber's hat would only have been a given winner if Rockbjörnen introduced the category "Joke of the Year".

Then so. Now it feels easier to breathe.

For context: Fröken Snusk performes in a pink mask and have songs like “Ride me like a Dalahorse” and “the Gynecological”. Fröken Snusk kind of translates into Miss Naughty. She is though very popular among kids and teens mostly. A guy behind her pulls all the strings and she basically sings the songs. She wants to take a bigger role and is starting to change her image. The song she did in Mello she was a co-author on and she was also the winner of this year’s “The mask” showing off she has great voice. Taking of the mask having her pink mask on. Some songs were also taken down from Spotify due allegations of manipulation of streams. But many love her. Others hate her.

Otherwise, this year's gala seems to be a classic duel at dawn between two relatively young men: Omar Rudberg and Benjamin Ingrosso.Omar can win four Rockbears and Benjamin three, which is due, among other things, to the fact that "Benji" has not performed at Gröna Lund this year and therefore cannot be nominated in the category "Grönan live act of the year".

There is nothing wrong with Rudberg, but if the prize is still about music, Ingrosso should sweep home everything. This summer he took on a new giant leap as a stage performer.

For context: I won’t riot against Markus, so if that’s what you want to read, move on. He acknowledges that it is a duel between them and he has probably seen the numbers of votes. That is positive news for me. There are not just Omar and Beji nominated and Omar and Benji seems to be close in voter numbers (if that’s the reason he writes the article and want to prime Benji winning)

Stating “there is nothing wrong with Omar, but if the prize is still about music, Ingrosso should sweep home everything”.

Music is subjective, and Markus saying there is nothing wrong with Omar is like a compliment coming from him. I prefer Omar’s music and we all know he is not recognized is Sweden as any of us thinks he deserves. I fully agree with that. I also agree that Benji is the biggest artist this year and he has taken leaps both performance wise and with his music. He has done an outsold European tour ( similar to the one Omar will do) and he has had several hits dominating the charts with a little bit of, for him, music style and quality. He has also had a very successful summer tour ( designed by the same person who designed Beyonces stage performance). He has had arena show in Sweden, very few Swedish artists pull that off. He IS the biggest Swedish male artist atm. So I understand Markus viewpoints. Omar is still in the beginning of his career, he has just started performing on stages and has his first tour announced. It’s not possible to compare them. Benji has so much more experience and has released so much more music. Omar is already great but he will have more music coming out with better producers and he will ofc evolve even more on stage. I see many compare Benji with Harry Styles and that’s where my references goes as well. He kind of has similar stage clothes and also the reading signs and having people proposing on his stage. So he interacts with the audience in a similar way.

The trolling part when it comes to Benji is that Benji has been/is by some hated just bc he is a nepo kid and his family. He had a FB group with 9000 members called “we who hate Benjamin” when he was 9yo. And yes he has benefited a lot from his family background and the benefits that comes with that but he also gets hate. And he still has that feeling with him it seems and seem to consider himself as a kind of an underdog needing to prove himself. So him being the biggest artist atm, and if he doesn’t win some will see it as people voted on other artist to make him not win and build on the narrative that it is bc he is a Wahlgren/Ingrosso. He also gets votes for that reason ofc, people loving him and his family, rather than people loving his music.

But all together, La Gunilla and Fröken Snusk might win, loved by the people but maybe not the best music. Omar is loved and have dedicated fans even though Benji is the biggest artist this year. And has the music that has been recognized. Markus seem to prefer his music, I prefer Omar’s music.

Regarding the trolling history for Rockbjörnen, last year Hooja won four categories, they are also liked and loved by kids and people all ages I guess, they wear masks and do fun songs with kind of silly lyrics. Listen below. But they were also “outed” and their names and life’s were written about by Aftonbladet last year which was quite controversial since they wanted to be anonymous for their sake and also their families. They live north in Sweden and lead somewhat just normal family life. So, that was also probably one reason people voted for them. A way of trolling as well.

#Spotify #omar rudberg #aftonbladet #and yes I consider Omar a worthy winner

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esperanzacboronial · 4 months ago

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The thing about Xander Harris is that not only is he the vaguely misogynistic man friend (a crime that could be forgiven in the context of late 90s television) he’s also just an incredibly shitty friend in every way. Buffy goes through the trauma of having no choice but to kill the newly ensouled guy she was in love with and is basically kicked out of her house by her mom so she runs away from home and Xander’s response when she gets back? How could you leave us and abandon us like that? Riley does metaphorical cheating in the most hurtful way possible then imposes an ultimatum after being just kind of a flop boyfriend for half a season and Xander’s response is? Why didn’t you pay more attention to him while your mom is terminally ill, he loves you and this is your fault, do you want to lose him forever? Buffy literally DIES and Xander’s response is? We have to bring her back, not for her but for us because we can’t cope without her, also I do not care how she might feel about this. Spike SAs Buffy and Xander’s response is? To make her feel bad for ever sleeping with him (consensually) and “leading him on” or whatever to the point where she APOLOGISES. TO. XANDER a man she has never had any romantic relationship with for?? Sleeping with a different man?? Because she wanted to??? While single??? And then being assaulted by him??? Xander’s biggest crime is not the shitty one-liners or being believably misogynistic, it is the way he has literally never been a good friend to Buffy by any definition and yet we’re supposed to believe she needs him in her life. If Xander has no haters I’m dead.

#btvs #all of the worst episodes of buffy also have a monologue from Xander making buffy feel bad for smth she didn’t do wrong

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justletmeramble1701 · 9 months ago

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Has anyone talked about how each of the three specials represents the three eras if NuWho (as in the three showrunners)?

The Star Beast felt like a classic Russel T Davis era introduction. The doctor disrupts the companion's boring domestic life, introducing them to a new, exciting, and very dangerous life. While, yes, this is the story of most NuWho companions, but Russell's version focused on how boring mundanity is (his companions are thrill seekers, especially Rose and Donna) and the companion's familiar life, which this episode does with the reintroduction of the Noble's.

It also has a "Davis-ex-machina", but all three episodes have that, so I'm not gonna mention it.

Wild Blue Yonder felt like a Moffat idea box (a dark fairy tale/cosmic horror). High concept scares or ideas that force the Doctor to drop his mask and confront truths about himself. I'm specifically thinking of series 6, where The Doctor relearns responsibility by the strange and usually terrifying situations he falls into, dragging his companions along for the ride. In this story, the Doctor is reminded how beaten down they are, setting us up for the conclusion in the finally. It's basically this Doctor's "The God Complex"! While this is how the franchise does character development, it feels uniquely Moffat because of its horror influence (its "Alien" and "The Thing") and the level at which it explains itself (it explains as much as it needs to have a monster with a gimmick, but not too much that they stop being scary - and also in a way that confuses most people).

It also has seemingly innocuous lines that are actually horrifying in context. "My arms are too long..." feels so much like "Are you my mummy," "Don't blink," and "Who turned out the lights," but it lacks the ability to be repeated more than once, so it can't become the quote for the creature. Instead of a singular quote, the episode goes for a series of chilling one-liners ("Oh, we get hungry, don't we..." being a great example).

The Giggle had that late Chibnall charm. Bringing back past elements in highly action-packed finales or specials to attempt to excite or "wow" the audience. While it pulls things out of nowhere to keep the plot going, you don't care because of how much fun you are having! I was specifically thinking about "The Power of the Doctor" while watching it. Half a "Flux" worth of ideas crammed into an episode, but with just enough fun, character, and heart that you allow it to do whatever. Let the episode drive you in whichever direction it needs to go to reach the destination, trusting that it won't get lost or crash. While this is, basically, the concept of the show (remember, we are watching a walking deus ex machina in their magic plot generating box, waiving their magic wand around until it is time for them to solve the problem), it feels like Chibnall because of how compact it is. Like I said, this has enough ideas that it could have been all three specials.

The thing that sets these three specials apart from the last three eras is the power dynamic between the Doctor and their companion. 14 and Donna are equals. While Donna is being reintroduced to the extraordinary, 14 is being reintroduced to the mundane. While Donna is trying to escape from the lovecraftian creature they've encountered, the Doctor is right beside her, scared of what they shouldn't comprehend (the episode even punishing them for their comprehension). While Donna is being toyed with by a dark god, the laws of reality failing her, the Doctor is facing the same, at the wim of an entity that operates by a different set of rules. The Doctor and their companion, their friend, is finally operating on the same playing field as them, which means that, by extension, so are we.

Donna, like all companions, represents the audience, but, in these stories, she specifically represents the fans of the last 20 of Doctor Who. The ones that grew up watching NuWho. We are older now, still as loud and snarky as ever, but we are adults now. Just like Donna, we have lives, responsibilities. We can't experience the world (or the program) the way we once did. Even though the adventures never truly end, it is our turn to join the previous generation (reprented by Mel) watch the next batch of whovians discover this exciting universe for the first time, our Doctor by our side.

This was the best conclusion to NuWho that we could've hoped for!

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kanansdume · 1 year ago

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So the show is going for this message of "Ahsoka is more than a legacy of death and destruction" but they do this by having her.... just not kill a fake vision version of Anakin? Cool, she's more than a warrior, more than just death and destruction and war. So then WHO IS SHE?

And this show doesn't have an answer. Who IS Ahsoka without the death and destruction? Who does she WANT to be? What traits would she rather focus on than the ones Anakin chose to instill in her that she knows are going to lead her down a bad path?

Like I get that they wanna focus on the master/padawan relationship thing and so they ONLY want to focus on Anakin, but personally, I think this is where it would've been really great to see Ahsoka's OTHER relationships in order to explore the other influences Ahsoka has had on her life that make her MORE than just "death and destruction."

This is where it would've been nice to see more of Rex and their friendship, or fleshing out the friendship with Barriss that was implied in TCW but never explored, or even more of Ezra or Hera from back in Rebels era, or Plo Koon with her as a very young child. Obi-Wan would've been nice, but Ewan's busy and that's an unrealistic expectation (however the narrative parallels of Obi-Wan to Anakin and how Obi-Wan represents the Jedi and the GOOD that is in Ahsoka from the THIRTEEN YEARS she spent growing up with the Jedi before she ever even MET Anakin, coupled with the fact that Obi-Wan considered her at least partly his Padawan as well, would've been really great). This allows you to showcase who Ahsoka actually IS outside of her relationship to Anakin and the legacy he forced upon her as his apprentice. She is more than Darth Vader's apprentice, she is more than an Order 66 survivor, she is more than a failed Jedi Padawan. She was someone who loved her men and joked around with them, she was someone who could cry on her friend's shoulder, she was someone who enjoyed being a mischievous kid, etc etc. Literally ANYTHING.

Because Ahsoka can't be a good master to ANYBODY if she doesn't know who she is. Anakin fails as a Master because he doesn't understand or accept who HE is and so all he passes on to Ahsoka are some basic Jedi platitudes and a lot of Sith manipulation along with pieces of his own trauma, none of which do her any good. If Ahsoka can't discover and accept who she ACTUALLY is, how is she ever supposed to guide someone else on that journey?

This is why I feel like this show should've been TWO shows: one to explore Ahsoka and who she is and letting go of that connection to Anakin and the ways it's weighing her down, and one to follow up on the Rebels finale that actually allows the Rebels characters the focus they deserved. One episode to explore this for Ahsoka was NOT enough because we got to the end of it and.... we still don't know who she was any more than we did before this. She chooses to live? Cool, was she choosing to die before this? Was she just wandering around waiting to die? Was it a metaphorical death of falling to her own darkness? There's not enough in the four episodes leading up to this to tell us any of that and this episode didn't have NEARLY enough time to actually get into it as deeply as they needed to. Ahsoka is a cardboard cutout just throwing out one-liners that sound deep and meaningful but when put back in context and analyzed for like... 60 seconds, there's nothing there.

#star wars #ahsoka tano #ahsoka show #ahsoka series #sw ahsoka #ahsoka 2023 #star wars ahsoka #ahsoka spoilers

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shallanigans · 6 months ago

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So, you want to write fanfiction? Here's some advice from someone who spends too much time on ao3, Part 1:

Hey everyone! This is a bit of a deviation from my usual shitposts. I was looking at the "#writers on tumblr" tag today, and I got inspired to post this after some interesting discussions. I'm someone who has read a lot (and I mean A LOT) of fanfic, as well as written some myself... so I thought I'd make this little (no, I lied, it's Very Long) post with some writing tips that I find personally meaningful for those of you who may be getting started or want to try something new.

My qualifications? Honestly, because I said so. This is just my opinion. Feel free to ignore, disagree, hate, ask questions, whatever. I'll be discussing some common fanfic writing advice and what I think about it, as well as giving some general pointers.

Disclaimer: What is "good writing?"

Good writing is effective writing. There is no one way in which everyone should write. Effective writing compels the reader; it makes them interested in your story, keeps them turning the pages, makes them click that "next chapter" button and stay up all night to finish your 500k epic. Some people achieve this through flowery, descriptive prose. Others do so with their quick wit and snappy dialogue. Others write all their fanfictions in second person epistolary format only and make you cry harder than you ever have. The first thing to know is that 1) tastes vary and 2) confidence matters. Find your voice, and be proud of it. If you feel that what you are doing is working for you, and you love it, then keep at it. Someone has already made every "writing mistake" and made it well. Don't fall into the trap of getting bogged down with 674835 contradictory tips and being too terrified to write at all. The only real writing sin is being boring.

Furthermore, this post is for fanfiction specifically. A lot of this advice might be useful for traditional fiction, but it's not a 1:1 carryover. A lot of fanfic advice will be irrelevant for traditional fiction, and vice versa.

That's all fine and dandy, but what do I do?

Good question. First, let's break down what makes a fanfiction effective. Most people searching ao3 for a story probably want:

A compelling premise

With in-character characters

Good spelling, formatting, grammar, and syntax

Stylistically strong writing

A coherent plot

With a certain degree of wish-fulfillment sprinkled in (this is fanfic, after all)

In this series, I will be mostly discussing elements 2-6. Number 1, unfortunately, comes down to "don't be boring," and I can't tell you how to come up with an idea that's going to hook your reader. However, assuming that you already have The Coolest Idea Ever, and you only need the reader to see that, then here's what you can do:

Effective Summaries

No, seriously. Tell people what your fucking story is about. One of my favorite stories on ao3 has the worst, vaguest one-liner of a summary I've ever seen. It is a gem, and if it hadn't been for a friend's recommendation, I would have never read it. You may think that your epic out of context quote from the paragraph you spent hours perfecting will make people care, but it will probably just confuse them. This is likely to be the most controversial thing I say today, so I'm starting off strong.

When I say effective summary, I mean a summary that will tell people the basic premise of the plot while also making them want to learn more. I don't mean something fancy. I mean something like:

When Blorbo started his new tech development job at Tumblr, he never expected to have Blorbette for a boss. She is smart, cold, calculating - and, to his horror, totally irresistible. In order to win her heart, he decides to make her jealous by fake-dating his colleague and frenemy, Blorbinson. But he soon finds that there is more to his mysterious friend than meets the eye. Could it be that the real Tumblr sexyman has been next to him all along?

That's a pretty standard summary for a relatively long fic. It's nothing fancy, but it tells the reader what the story's about. Now this same summary, in the hands of someone who refuses to inform the reader about the premise of the story, would probably say something like:

His eyes are the color of spring.

You can get away with that kind of stuff more often in a one-shot, but best practice is always to tell your reader what the story is about. Say to your reader:

Blorbinson's eyes are too easy to get lost in. Blorbo cannot find his way out.

If you MUST include a quote from your story, then do it alongside your informative summary, in the much-loved format below:

"What do you mean Welcome to Nightvale is winning the contest?" --- In which things get heated at Tumblr dot com, and Blorbinson's the one making Blorbo get all sweaty.

I can already hear you arguing. You say to me, "But there are people who choose quotes that are both pretty AND informative! But writing anything is better than writing nothing in the summary!"

True. My response to the first point is this: if you had mastered that skill, you wouldn't be here. A simple, to-the-point-summary is almost never going to make the interested reader scroll past your story. You know what will? An out-of-context block of text about how much Sans Undertale loves the player from chapter 3, paragraph six.

To the second point, I say: obviously. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't seek to improve. No one is perfect. I'm certainly not. But you're doing yourself a disservice by spending so much time and effort on the content of your story and then fumbling it on the home stretch. If you take pride in your work (and I'm assuming you do, because you posted this story for a reason), then make like a chef at a five-star restaurant and start caring about presentation. It goes without saying that there shouldn't be any typos in the summary.

A note on tagging: I will make a separate post on tagging your stories appropriately. This is a writing-related rant.

Now, onto characterization:

If you're one of those people who thinks that there's no such thing as "too OOC," congratulations. May you enjoy fanfiction free from the shackles of the narrative. Tag appropriately and have fun. If you're like the rest of us haters, you probably want to keep your characters as faithful to canon as possible. Yes, even in an AU.

I've included this wonderful addition because entryn17 said it better than I ever could have. There's difference of interpretation, and then there's Severus Snape deciding that James Potter was actually just misunderstood.

Being "in-character" is an elusive ideal that we all strive for, but no one can quite tell you what it means except for "the vibes." The way I like to define it is this: If you asked yourself the question "Would He Fucking Say That/Do That/Feel That?" and the answer is "yes, absolutely," then it's in-character. If the answer is "absolutely not," then it's out of character. If the answer is "maybe?" then your goal is to move that needle firmly into the Yes camp.

To do this, you must first determine what is making you unsure. Is it the dialogue? Is your stuffy Edwardian speaking like a Gen Alpha well-versed in Cocomelonese? Is your overconfident flirt stammering and stuttering through a conversation? Often, the content of what a character is saying agrees perfectly with the source material, but the how doesn't match it. Beta readers can help with this, as can going back to the source material to study a character's speech patterns in canon. You don't have to get it perfect. Just make sure it doesn't stand out. Would Snape perhaps say "Come over here!" in a much wordier, snarkier manner? Maybe. Maybe not. But he sure as hell wouldn't say, "Yo! bring your ass over and check this out!"

Actions and feelings are a bit trickier. There's always some leeway in personal interpretation here, and most of the time your reader won't question this very much so long as the rest of the story keeps them engaged. One OOC action or thought is easy to brush off. Ten, not so much. Read up on the wiki pages for whatever you're writing, go back to the source material, and maybe get the opinion of a willing beta reader. Ultimately, if your characters start feeling like featureless puppets subject to your whims rather than people with established personalities, you might want to go back and revisit what made them stand out to you in the first place.

Keep things consistent within your story. Especially in AUs and canon divergence fics, there are certain character traits that are malleable. Maybe Draco Malfoy wouldn't have been such a dickhead if he'd had caring adult mentors in his life. So, justify that within your story. You don't necessarily need to keep the characterization faithful to the canon, but you do need to convince the reader that their beloved character has a reason for their behavior. Keep things consistent. Whenever a character deviates from their canon behavior, make sure there's a valid explanation for it in your narrative.

Don't fall for the trap of confusing canon and fanon. Fandom is like a game of telephone. Someone writes one story of Blorbo adopting a cat, and suddenly he's the biggest cat person in the universe. The poor author who posts about Blorbo's canonical love of dogs gets trashed for writing OOC. You can't prevent people getting mad at you, but you can always grin smugly and go to bed happy with the knowledge that you were right. Someone will love you for it.

SPAG

Ew! It sounds like something your dog spit up. Spelling and Grammar might be boring, but they're necessary. You shouldn't break the rules until you know the rules. One day, you will write a run-on postmodern epic to rival the worst of Wallace's page-long sentences. Today is not that day. No one wants to open a story only to be greeted by a massive block of text, a lack of punctuation, and a heretofore undiscovered form of there/they're/their.

In the modern age, we have many tools at our disposal to clarify our SPAG doubts. Dictionaries! Spellcheck! The weirdos on those Substack forums! Oh, my. If you wrote your story at 3AM directly onto the ao3 editor, perhaps take a moment to run it through some kind of spellchecker before posting. Microsoft Word has a pretty good one, but Grammarly and other such software can help you if that's not available. There's also nothing quite like a beta reader. There are people in this world who love picking apart every comma, period, and quotation mark, and they'll be happy to do it for you. I am one of them, and I volunteer. There are many of us.

Here are some SPAG mistakes common in fanfiction.

1.Your/you're, they're/their/there, "could of," and "lie" vs "lay."

"YOUR" means that something is yours. You possess that thing. YOUR story is going to be great if you fix the grammar. "YOU'RE" is a contracted form of "YOU ARE." If you fix your grammar, YOU'RE going to be a great writer.

They're: Shortened form of "they are." They're going to the beach. They're very nice people.

Their: They possess a thing. A thing belongs to them. They're going to the beach in THEIR car.

There: Related to a place. You are going to be THERE. THERE are many pretty horses in the field.

"Could of" does not exist. It is an incorrect way of writing "could've," the shortened form of "could have."

The verbs lie and lay are tricky ones. You (a person) LIE down on your bed. You LAY an object down on a surface. However, the past tense of LIE is LAY. I know! Who invented English, am I right? Blorbo LIES on his bed in the present tense. He LAY on his bed in the past.

The past tense of "lay" is "laid." Blorbo LAID down his water bottle.

2. Run-on sentences.

Sometimes, when we're writing, we get a little excited. We have so many thoughts and we never know how to end them. You might think the solution here is to just keep throwing down commas, but you'd be wrong.

Run-on sentences can be effective if used intentionally, but a lot of the time, they're not. The period isn't your enemy. In general, you want to make sure your sentences have a subject, a verb, and an object, and that they end when you've finished your thought.

Blorbo was the most beautiful of all the tumblr sexymen. He really liked to show off his sick gains at the gym. He had a hot wife and an even hotter side piece.

This writing isn't very exciting, but it's correct. Contrast that with:

Blorbo was the most beautiful of all the tumblr sexymen, he really liked to show off his sick gains at the gym, he had a hot wife and an even hotter side piece.

Finish your thoughts. There are ways to connect independent clauses (a group of words that can work on its own as a sentence) correctly, like the semicolon; the semicolon is a great piece of punctuation. There is also the em-dash. Sometimes, you really need to add clarification to a thought — you really want to emphasize the second part of what you're saying. Em-dashes also work like a cooler version of parentheses — because who uses those, am I right? — and can help you seem like a chic and seasoned writer. Don't overuse them, though. I know you want to. And no, I don't heed my own advice here.

Look, these rules aren't intuitive. I can't possibly go through all of them in a way that's easy and digestible. There are smarter people than me who have written all about it, and I use incorrect punctuation all the time. Misplacing a comma isn't going to be the end of the world for your story, but at least give it a once-over with a beta or spellchecker to fix the worst of it. At the very least, make the reader think that run-on sentence was totally on purpose.

3. Paragraphs

Make sure your paragraphs stick to a single theme or thought. Fanfiction writers love to have one-sentence paragraphs for the impact, but you don't need to do that. Just keep them coherent. For example, if you're writing about Blorbo's weekend, you might say,

Blorbo loved Saturdays. On Saturdays, the world seemed to sparkle and sing with the whole of the city's shared happiness over not having to work. He would wake up on those mornings and leap out of bed while singing a jaunty little tune. Then, he'd text Blorbinson a string of heart emojis and plan to meet up for their weekly ice cream date. But Sundays — oh, how he hated Sundays! Sundays were the day before Monday, and he'd always spend so long worrying about going back to the office that, by the time he decided to do something, it would be dark outside already.

Each of the paragraphs above, clumsy as they are, have a clear idea that starts and ends within the same paragraph. If you talk about Blorbo's Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday all within one paragraph, your reader will be confused!

On the other hand, if you make every single paragraph one line, your reader is going to resent you. You have unwittingly made them take part in a bad action thriller. One-line paragraphs are supposed to be impactful and create suspense. When writing, a good tip is to consider the word "impactful" a synonym of "sparing." See below:

Doesn't it suck? Not to mention all that scrolling!

3. Dialogue

Right off the bat, I'll say that the best way to learn how to format dialogue is by reading books. Not fanfiction. BOOKS. They have been checked by an editor, so you know you're getting the real deal. Generally, well-formatted dialogue achieves an engaging and seamless conversation between your characters. Poorly-formatted dialogue forces your reader into a game of Who's Who?

See for, instance, the following abomination:

"I can't believe you cheated on me with Blorbette!" Blorbo had been crying about it for a week. His tears would soon erode a riverbank down his cheeks. Blorbinson sneered at him, "I can't believe you ever thought this was real." "I was only with you for the tax benefits." No! How could you? Blorbo said. Blorbinson laughed a wicked laugh and looked at him. "My heart is shattered into a million tiny pieces. Love isn't real!"

Did you follow that? Because I sure didn't. Generally, here are the rules of dialogue:

Start a new line for each character that speaks, and keep a single character's dialogue within the same paragraph.*

Use dialogue tags to CLARIFY who is speaking. Note: I said clarify. If it's redundant take it out. I will write more about good (not merely correct) dialogue in a follow-up post.

Put a period after or before an ACTION tag in dialogue, but a comma before a SPEECH tag. The reason you do this is that ["Here is an example line of dialogue," he said] is a complete sentence, but ["Here is an example line of dialogue." He looked at his watch.] is TWO sentences. The quotation marks are merely to indicate speech. Whether or not something is a sentence is determined by the content of what the writing actually says, not by any punctuation it may have.

Use quotation marks to indicate speech. If you want to quote something within quotation marks (in American English), you put it in single quotes, like so: "And then he called me 'a lost cause who's doomed to be single forever.' Can you believe that?"

By following these rules, we get the much nicer:

"I can't believe you cheated on me with Blorbette!" Blorbo had been crying about it for a week. His tears would soon erode a riverbank down his cheeks. Blorbinson sneered at him. "I can't believe you ever thought this was real. I was only with you for the tax benefits." "No! How could you?" Blorbinson only laughed a wicked laugh. "My heart is shattered into a million tiny pieces. Love isn't real!" Blorbo said.

Obviously that's still pretty bad, but now it's readable. Formatting your dialogue properly will fix a lot of problems with your story, make it clear who is talking, and make the reading experience much nicer for everyone.

* An Important addendum: sometimes, characters will speak for a long time, and you'll want to split up their dialogue into paragraphs. To do that, you start the dialogue in quotation marks, but you leave them open until the character is done speaking, like so:

"My favorite thing about Blorbinson was that he always knew just what to say. He had this magical ability to always tell when I was sad, and he showed up with ice cream every single time. It always made me feel better," Blorbo said. "I can't believe our relationship is over now. I should probably tell you all about how that happened. "I walked into my house one day to find another pair of shoes by the door, where Blorbinson's usually are. I knew Blorbinson would never wear those shoes, because his style is more boho-inspired. Anyway, my worst fear was confirmed when I walked into the bedroom and found him there with Blorbette! My two loves, betraying me so callously!"

This is common in fantasy stories where you need to impart some deep lore knowledge on the reader, or for characters who like to talk a lot.

4. Verb tenses (edited after posting, in true fanfic writer fashion)

Us writers tend to have very strong opinions about verbs. You could even say things get a little bit... tense sometimes. Ok, but seriously; whether you write in past or present doesn't matter. What matters is that you keep things consistent.

Nothing takes the reader out of a fanfic faster than abrupt tense switches in the middle of the narrative. If you are writing in a specific verb tense, stick with it.

Don't say:

Blorbo is never sure what Blorbinson is thinking. He watched him chew his pencil from across the office, that beautiful face scrunched in concentration as he stares at his computer. Blorbo knows he's in love the minute Blorbinson looks back.

DO say:

Blorbo was never sure what Blorbinson was thinking. He watched him chew his pencil from across the office, that beautiful face scrunched in concentration as he stared at his computer. Blorbo knew he was in love the minute Blorbinson looked back. or Blorbo is never sure what Blorbinson is thinking. He watches him chew his pencil from across the office, that beautiful face scrunched in concentration as he stares at his computer. Blorbo knows he's in love the minute Blorbinson looks back.

When we write in past tense and we want to talk about events that happened prior to the narrative, we use the past perfect. When we write in present, we can use either simple past or past perfect. This one's kind of iffy. As you write more, you'll get a sense of what "sounds correct."

Ultimately, your choice of verb tense is personal opinion and what you feel best fits your story. Just make sure that you keep whatever you choose consistent. A beta reader can help you with this.

And that's it for Part 1!

This post dealt with some technical, basic things about fanfic that will mostly be useful to new writers. I will be going more in depth about making your prose stronger at the sentence level in Part 2, where #4 is getting an entire post. It'll probably be even longer than this one. I hope it was able to help someone!

#fanfiction #writers on tumblr #writing tips #writeblr #writing #creative writing #I make long posts about things that no one cares about series

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