#this was based on a little trend going around Twitter

[rockhousejai]

What ft she so mad about?? 😭😭😭

Alt

[joonie-beanie]

Hat Guy's ASMR Commissions: S Tier | [Scaramouche/Wanderer x Reader]

Summary: Subject: Your Commission For [Guided Masturbation Audio - 30 minute session] In which your asshole best friends order a commission from your favorite ASMR artist, and it's a lot more NSFW than you were expecting. "From this moment on, you’re going to follow my directions. I’d say “if you fail to, you’ll be punished” but we both know you’re probably just another people pleaser who will do whatever I say, as long as you know it will make me happy. But fair warning–I won’t be happy until you’re so fucked out you can’t speak a coherent word.” Content: Smut, Guided Masturbation, Toy Use, Name Calling, Degradation/Humiliation, fem!reader Word Count: 6.5k Note: this is kind of an untraditional smut, so just keep that in mind lol

“Sweetheart…you really need to find some way to relax.”

“I agree. If you don’t release your tension, it’ll do a number on your health.”

You really appreciate Lisa and Yae being so concerned for you, but…

“I know. It’s just…not that easy for me.”

By now, in theory, you should have figured out some better coping mechanisms and ways to destress, but alas.

Taking a book from the return bin, Lisa scans it, and then places it onto the go-back cart.

“Well, have you tried getting off?”

Her suggestion makes you jerk, your head swiveling as you glance around the library to see if anyone nearby has overheard. At your side, Yae giggles.

“Calm down…finals have just ended. No one is in the library anymore—they’re out partying.”

You sigh. 

You suppose she’s right. The only reason you three are here is because Lisa is working the closing shift, and because Yae had insisted that you come along to the library with her to keep Lisa company.

“Traditional porn, a good adult novel, ASMR—all would be good options,” Lisa continues.

“I��m not really into porn right now, and I don’t think I have the bandwidth to focus on a book,” you say, resting your cheek in your palm. “As for ASMR…I’m not a big fan. I’ve really only discovered one creator that I like…”

“Oh?” 

Now that piques their interest. 

“What’s their name?”

“He goes by “Hat Guy” on twitter,” you tell them. “He mostly just…posts audio responses to dumb takes, or makes ASMR mocking other ASMR trends, but his voice is nice, and he has a small fan base…despite him kind of being a little shit.”

“How cute,” Lisa laughs while Yae pulls out her phone.

“Well, then…since it sounds like he doesn’t have any relaxing content, maybe you should just go home and take a nice bath. Did you ever use that bath bomb I got you for your birthday?”

“No,” you mumble sheepishly. At your side, Yae taps your knee.

“Lisa is right. Go home and have a bath. I’ll keep her company until she’s done.”

You raise your eyebrows in surprise.

“Are you sure…? I just got here like half an hour ago and now you want me to go home?”

“I just think some “you” time would be good,” she tells you with a smile. You pout your lips, but ultimately decide that…maybe she’s right.

“Fine, I’ll head home and rest, then.”

“Good girl,” Yae responds, patting your ass when you bend over to grab your backpack. You narrow your eyes at her, but aren’t truly mad.

“Be careful on your walk home~,” Lisa says as you start towards the exit. You wave at them both over your shoulder, and then leave the building.

A few seconds after your departure, Lisa turns to Yae.

“Alright, what did you find that you didn’t want Y/N to know about?”

Yae grins, loving that Lisa has already caught on.

“Look—”

She gets up from her seat and leans over to show Lisa her phone screen.

“I found Hat Guy’s twitter and saw that he’s accepting commissions, and look at one of the options~”

She points to something, and Lisa’s eyes hurriedly scan the text in front of her. 

When she has finished reading, she grins.

“Oh, my…well, that’s certainly tempting.”

“I was thinking maybe we can give it to Y/N as a… “you survived finals! Use this to relax” type present. Since she’s always doing thoughtful things for us when we’re swamped.”

Lisa smiles, putting a thoughtful finger to her lips.

“I agree. She’s brought us so many cups of tea over the last few months. It’s the least we can do.”

“Good,” Yae says with a nod, immediately clicking on the commission link.

“She deserves a little…fun.”

Between the end of the previous semester, and the start of the new one, your University has generously given you a long weekend. 

4 days, to be exact. 

Most of this long weekend you spend doing the chores you’ve put off, and working a few shifts at your job. 

It’s only by some grace that you end up with Sunday off. One final day to try and relax before classes begin tomorrow…

You do your best to make the most of it—mindlessly scrolling tiktok, folding some clothes, debating if you should order food out, and ultimately deciding against it, since you just went grocery shopping…

All in all, it’s a pretty mundane day.

…at least, until the icon for your email app appears at the top of your phone screen, and you swipe down the notification to see the title:

Subject: Your Commission For [Guided Masturbation Audio - 30 minute session]

Immediately, you freeze.

Surely, this is a spam email that’s somehow made it through the cracks. Because you definitely haven’t ordered such a thing.

Yet, despite your doubts at the validity of the email, you still click on it—wanting to read the contents before banishing it to your spam folder.

Dear Recipient,

Attached to this email is an mp3 file available for you to download. This file was requested and paid for by “Fox and Witch”, and is being sent to you directly at their request.

Please do not distribute this anywhere else on social media, as this is my copyrighted content.

If there is any issue with the quality of the file, please let me know.

Have fun.

-Hat Guy

Note:

Toys Needed = Dildo, Clitoral Vibrator or Wand

…you must have knocked your head on something earlier and are currently hallucinating.

Because there is NO WAY there’s an email from HAT GUY in your inbox. And that said email is for…for…

Well, you remember seeing a link on his profile about commissions, but you’d never clicked on it to see more than that. There’s no chance he’s out here telling people how to get off, though, right…?

With a warm face, you scan the email again. And then a third time.

You can only assume “Fox and Witch” are Yae and Lisa. And you did just tell them that you like Hat Guy’s content…

You bite your lip, staring at the mp3 file. 

There’s just no way…

Hesitantly, you click on it.

“Hmph. You must be really desperate if your friends were willing to pay for a half hour of my time. Most people are satisfied with 10-15 minutes, but no…they knew you’d need longer than that.”

Oh…fuck. 

Something in your tummy flips.

That’s him, alright.

You’ve never heard him talk like that before, but it’s definitely him…you could never mistake that haughty, belittling tone.

Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, your gaze once again finding the title of the email.

Guided Masturbation.

If you’re not wrong, that means if you hit play, and keep listening, it’ll probably be a lot of Hat Guy telling you what to do…how to touch yourself.

Just thinking about such a thing makes more blood rush to your head—embarrassment blooming in your chest.

Sure, the idea of him bossing you around isn’t exactly unappealing. You’re sure he’d be…less than nice, and maybe even a little sadistic, and perhaps call you a few rude names, but—

You groan and place your phone face down on the table beside you.

“Nope, I can’t—I—”

Standing up from your couch, you trudge into your kitchen.

It’s dinner time—you need to make dinner.

You try to keep your thoughts from straying to your temporarily abandoned phone, and the email that’s sitting in your inbox—but it’s literally impossible.

Still, you manage to cook yourself a meal, and even partake in a little alcoholic drink. (Just because you’re treating yourself, and definitely not because you want to ease your nerves a bit.)

Once you’ve finished eating, you clean all your dishes, and then return to the couch. Your gaze strays to your phone, but you don’t pick it up—instead deciding to grab the TV remote.

You make it approximately 25 minutes into a movie before you can’t take it anymore.

Hitting the pause button, you throw the remote on the couch beside you and then snatch up your phone—alighting from the couch.

You grab your headphones on the way to your bedroom, and pop them into your ears only after you’ve gathered your dildo and vibrator.

Maybe this audio won’t be as hot as you’re assuming, and you’ll end up not wanting to touch yourself, but…better to have everything prepared just in case, right?

Taking a deep breath, you hit play.

The track restarts from the beginning. 

“Hmph. You must be really desperate if your friends were willing to pay for a half hour of my time. Most people are satisfied with 10-15 minutes, but no…they knew you’d need longer than that.”

“I also hear you’re quite the little masochist—but I could have assumed that, considering it’s me that you’re soaking your panties over. Just another slut who wants to be bullied, huh.”

You huff at his words, glaring at your phone screen. 

Did Lisa and Yae tell him your kinks or something?? Those bitches.

“Well, you’re in luck, because from this moment on, you’re going to follow my directions. I’d say “if you fail to, you’ll be punished” but we both know you’re probably just another people pleaser who will do whatever I say, as long as you know it will make me happy.”

Dammit, why is he right—

“But fair warning—I won’t be happy until you’re so fucked out you can’t speak a coherent word.”

With a shaking finger, you pause the audio.

You hate to admit it, but his words—the way he’s speaking to you—is already making you wet. 

You really, truly want him to bully you, and use you like a little toy.

So, guess that means you’re doing this.

Throwing any caution and shame to the wind, you hit the play button again. 

“Now…where to begin? I always like to start with an inspection. Take off your clothes, but leave your panties on. I’m not going to bid your needy pussy any attention just yet.”

You obediently do as he says, stripping yourself of your clothing until you’re left only in your panties.

“It’s unfortunate I’m not there to survey those titties in person, so you’ll just have to feel them up for me. Go ahead and grope yourself. Take a minute and massage your chest…I want to see if you’ll get wet from that alone. Although, you’re probably wet already just from my voice, aren’t you, slut?”

You click your tongue at that last part, (hating that he’s right), but nonetheless bring your hands to your chest. 

You cup your titties, and begin squeezing them—feeling the soft flesh beneath your fingers. 

“Good, keep going—squeeze a little harder now. Ah…I bet your nipples want to be touched, huh? Start teasing them, then—just enough to get them hard. I’ll give you 10 seconds—that should be enough.”

For some reason, the challenge of accomplishing a task within a certain time limit makes your pussy throb, and very quickly, you move your pointer fingers over your nipples—rubbing them lightly, and coaxing them to a peak. 

You’re ashamed to admit it, but they manage to get hard in the 10 second pause he gives you…

“Wow, look at that…what greedy titties you have—responding as I say, eager to be played with. Pinch your nipples and roll them between your fingers. Find the motion that feels best, and do it over and over again, until I tell you to stop.”

Resting your breasts in your palms, you pinch your nipples between your fingers—rolling and tugging them. 

Your eyes flutter shut as you touch yourself, each purposeful little tweak of your nipples causing your spine to twitch, and your pussy to clench.

It’s been too long since you’ve touched yourself like this…

By the time Hat Guy’s voice fills your ears once more, your nipples have started to get sore.

“Okay, stop there. I bet your cunt has started quivering, but I hope you know it’ll still be a while before I give you the chance to cum…unless, you somehow managed to orgasm from playing with just your titties? If that’s the case, congratulations! You’re the most needy and pathetic whore I’ve played with. So pathetic that I’ll give you a pass, and won’t even punish you for cumming without permission.”

The thought of being able to cum from nipple play alone makes you feel even more aroused, much to your chagrin—

“Now, let’s inspect that dirty pussy of yours. Spread your legs, and pull your panties down to your knees. I want you to stare at the crotch of your panties and feel ashamed at the wet spot I know is there.”

Taking a deep breath, you hook your fingers around your panties and tug them down your thighs.

As you spread your feet apart, you end up staring at the crotch of your panties—your lips pressing together when you notice there is, indeed, a very noticeable wet spot.

“Next, bend over. As low as you can go, with your legs still apart. I want to see everything.”

Locking your fingers together, you hesitate for a brief second before you bend over—feeling a strain in your leg muscles as you hit the point where you can’t bend anymore.

In this position, you know that you’re on full display.

“Look at you, presenting yourself to me…you really don’t have any shame, do you? If I were there, I’d be grabbing you and forcing you open wider, but since I’m not, you can do it for me! Grab your ass cheeks with both hands, and spread.”

Breathing a little shakily, you do your best to reach behind you and spread yourself. You feel your asshole clench as you do so, and the involuntary action maddens you, considering Hat Guy’s next words are—

“Such a tight little hole…I bet it’s twitching.” 

“Is it nervous, or hoping for an intrusion? Either way, anal is not the objective of today’s session, so let’s move back to your pussy. Go ahead and spread your folds with your hand. You have permission to bend over with your chest to your bed, if you feel your blood rushing to your head from bending down so low. And if you're not by your bed…where the fuck are you listening to this audio? In your car, or a bathroom stall? Pervert.”

That little quip at the end makes you smile, even as you stand up and move yourself to your bed.

You find it a little endearing how he’s bossing you around, but still managing to be somewhat considerate. You suppose maybe there is more to him than just being a brat on the internet.

Anyway—

Reaching one hand back between your legs, you slide your fingers between the folds of your pussy and spread them—opening yourself up as if he were there to inspect you.

“Now, rub your fingers at your entrance—feel how slick you’ve gotten…honestly, you should feel ashamed. Getting so wet for a no-face internet stranger.”

Sure, your panties were a little wet, but that doesn’t mean—

You move your fingers to your entrance—freezing at the amount of sticky arousal you feel. 

You...honestly can’t remember the last time you’ve gotten this wet.

“Smear the slick around your pussy, and make sure to get your clit. That’s where we’re headed next.”

You do as he says, perhaps a smidge overly excited that you now seem to be entering the main course.

As your fingers ghost over your clit, your pussy shudders.

“Bet you just clenched in excitement, huh?”

How does he fucking know—?!

“I'll be nice and will let you use two fingers. Press the pads of your fingers to your clit, and start making circular motions. Slow. 1…2…3…just like that.”

Breathing deep, you begin rubbing your clit with your fingers—repeating his count in your head, and following his pace. 

With each pass of your fingers, your walls squeeze tighter.

“You probably want to rush, or grind your hips on your fingers…but you shouldn't be acting so desperate just yet, so be a good girl and keep going.”

Huffing, you obey his command,

He goes silent for a few beats, really giving you a minute to continue hopelessly teasing yourself. 

By the time he next speaks, a needy exhale is leaving your lips—heady arousal truly being to pool in your lower tummy.

“Now you can go faster. Rub your clit to the beat of your heart. I assume it's racing, so you should be moving your hand a bit faster than before.”

You haven’t really noticed before now, but your heart is certainly beating much faster than normal…

The steady, yet swift thump of your heart is felt throughout your body the more you focus on it, and you quickly adjust your pace. 

A breathy little sigh leaves your lips—your brows pinching together.

You want to cum. 

“I wonder if you're close already, just from your fingers on your clit…haha. If you are, remember—you don't get to cum until I say so. So if you're close to cumming, edge yourself. Get right to the edge of your orgasm, and then stop. I'll give you 10 seconds after that to collect yourself, but then you have to keep going.”

Oh, fuck…

You suppose you should have realized that edging might be part of the equation, especially during a 30 minute session.

And, unfortunately, the thought of edging yourself for him makes you even hornier—pushing you closer to your first climax—or, well, edge.

“I bet you're probably thinking that 10 seconds isn't very long…that when you start again, you'll still be right at the brink of your orgasm, and will have to keep edging over, and over…hah, well…that's your own fault for being so hopeless.”

“Now, I'll let you set the pace. Find the rhythm and motion against your clit that makes you feel the best…you're going to keep that up for 1 minute—and remember, no cumming.”

Dammit—

By now, your lips are fully parted—quick little breaths fanning in front of your face and warming the sheets of your mattress.

You don’t want to edge, you want to cum, but he won’t let you—

“Also, why don't you go ahead and count aloud? I assume you're in private, so it shouldn't be an issue to let out your voice. And if you're not, well…I guess people will get to hear what a debauched whore you are.”

If this were 10 minutes ago, you’d surely blush and hesitate to follow his command.

But now…now you’re a little closer to being the debauched whore he’s calling you.

“I'll count with you so you don't rush it. 60…59…58…57—”

With headphones in, you hear your own voice in your head—mingling with his. 

His, unwavering, with a hint of mockery. Yours…quiet, and struggling to stay on beat.

You clit throbs beneath your fingers, and there’s a familiar flutter of your walls, despite your pussy currently being empty. 

You’re getting close. 

“I can only imagine how sinful you look right now…oh, right. Where was I? Hmm…let's just pick up from 30.”

Motherfucker—

You let your face drop into your sheets, your thighs tightening and knees shaking.

Fuck, you wanna cum. You know you can’t—know it’s not allowed yet, but—!

“5…4…3…2…1. Stop moving your hand.”

Perfect timing. Right at the edge of an orgasm—you pull your hand away.

You take a second to try and catch your breath while ignoring the unfulfilled ache between your legs.

“Your pussy must be throbbing, huh? Lucky for you, as your benevolent master, I’ll let you stuff it full. Grab your dildo and get on your bed on your knees.”

“Also, I assume you're soaked by now, but if not, and you need additional lubrication, use lube.”

You glance behind you at your dresser, where your bottle of lube sits, but ultimately don’t grab it. 

By now, you’re sure you can do without.

Grabbing your dildo, you climb onto your bed, and obediently get on your knees.

“Now, sit up and position the dildo beneath you. Rub the head between your folds, and then settle it at your entrance.”

You do as he says—a shiver of excitement raking up your spine as the tip of your dildo unexpectedly flicks against your clit while you get it into position.

“I'm going to give you 3 seconds to take it fully inside of you…What? I did say we'll be stuffing you full, and with how needy you clearly are, I figured I'm doing you a favor by letting you take it all in!”

Oh. That’s—

“So, I'll count to three. Oh, and if your dildo is too big, and you're scared to sink down onto it all at once, well…that's your own fault for biting off more than you can chew. But, I'm sure that greedy pussy will take anything it can get.”

It will.

“Ready?”

You take a trembling breath.

“3, 2, 1—!”

In one swift motion, you spread your thighs and sink down onto the dildo.

When the head bumps against the deepest part of you, you can’t help but gasp—the sound positively lewd.

“Ahhh…fuck. You made a cute sound, didn't you? How precious…now you're stuffed to the brim with dick, as you should be.”

Yes, this is exactly how you’re meant to feel…just a little slut who will do anything to cum for him.

Yet, despite his harsh instructions, he seems to pause for a second, giving you a chance to acclimate to the intrusion.

How cute.

“Why don't we start slow…I want you to lift your hips until just the tip of the dildo is inside of you, and then grind back down on it. Up…and down…up—”

To aid in the motion, you place your hands flat on the mattress in front of you, and then begin moving your hips.

Up…and down…

Your walls clench around the dildo, practically begging for more, but the man currently using you as his personal toy clearly isn’t inclined to give you such a thing.

At least, not immediately.

If you had to guess, he makes you continue at this slow, teasing pace for at least 2 minutes—your muscles beginning to strain as you resist going any faster.

Then, his voice fills your ears once again. You nearly sigh with relief.

“I hope your thighs aren't burning yet, because now we're going to pick up the pace. Imagine the gallop of a horse's hooves. I want you to grind on each downbeat. No need to make big motions—just grind on your dildo how you'd grind your pussy on my cock if I was there.”

If he were here, you’d wanna grind on his dick until he’s moaning louder than you are—

“Fuck…”

Fingers curling into the sheets, you find your new rhythm—the sound of your wet pussy beginning to fill the quiet room outside your headphones.

Sweat starts to bead on your brow—the arousal inside of you searing hotter, and your muscles getting tighter.

“I wonder if you can cum from internal stimulation alone…try to find your g-spot if you haven't already. I want you to bully it with your dildo.”

You can practically hear the grin in his words. 

Repositioning yourself, you find the angle that better allows you to rub that sensitive little spot inside you.

Almost immediately, a whine rips from your throat.

“Now…I'm going to issue you a challenge. I'll count down from 60 seconds again. During that 60 seconds, you're free to cum. So try your best, okay, slut?”

Please, you want to cum, but you don’t know if 60 seconds will be enough—

“60…59…58…”

Dammit—

With his challenge invigorating you, you continue messily grinding your hips.

Each pass of your dildo against your g-spot causes your pussy to shiver, and your thighs to shake—your orgasm creeping closer.

“33…32…31…”

A desperate sound slips past your lips, your eyebrows knitting together.

You want to cum.

You want to cum.

You want to cum, but—

You drop down onto your dildo roughly, almost in a pouting manner.

You need more time.

As soon as your climax finally begins to build—your walls clenching down on your dildo—Hat Guy reaches the end of his countdown.

“3…2…1…so…did you cum? Either way, I'm sure your legs are shaking. I wouldn't doubt that your sheets are getting soiled by your arousal, either.”

“Well, whether you came or not, don't worry—there's still more opportunities to orgasm yet to come! That being said, set your dildo to the side, and grab your vibrator instead.”

Exhaling, you manage to lift up your hips, and your dildo slips out of you. 

It flops onto your sheets, glistening with your arousal.

Your pussy mourns the loss.

Setting your dildo to the side, you grab your vibrator instead.

“You can go ahead and lay on your back. I'll give your knees a break…isn't that nice of me? You should say “thank you”.”

You clench your jaw as you roll onto your back, your eyes squinting at the ceiling.

There’s no way he’s serious, right? Counting is one thing, but thanking someone who isn’t here?

“Huh? Did you think that was just a suggestion? Go on.”

You wet your lips with your tongue.

“...thank you.”

There’s a brief second of silence, and then—

“...pfft, hahaha! If you actually did just say it aloud, you're more of an obedient people pleaser than I thought. What a precious little cock-sleeve.”

You want to punch him—

“Anyway, I haven't let you cum from your clit yet. I bet by now it's engorged and begging for attention…go ahead and put your vibrator on your clit. Turn it on low.”

The fact that even just touching your clit causes you to jolt proves that his words are correct.

Hitting the power button, you turn your vibrator on a low setting, and almost instantly—the orgasm that had started to fade away flares back to life.

“Good…I'll let you keep it there for a little while. Actually…I'm gonna go get some water. God knows how upset you'd be if my voice suddenly gave out and I couldn't give you permission to cum—”

You hear the sound of a chair being alighted from, and footsteps padding away from the mic.

“This little motherfucker—,” you pant, your chest heaving. 

You gently rub your vibrator around your clit—hoping that doing so will help you delay the orgasm that’s building—but it’s impossible to avoid.

After another minute, you can’t put it off any longer.

Your body tenses, your pussy tightening, and—

You tear the vibrator away from your clit.

If he were here, you think you’d honestly start to beg him for mercy. Of course, you’re sure he’d say that’s practically your first true edge, and you’re just being a little baby, but still.

You start the countdown from 10 in your head, and once it’s done, put your vibrator back on your clit.

Your entire body jolts as the pleasure that had been denied snaps back to attention.

You’re gonna have to edge again—

“How are you holding out? Did you edge at all—just from the vibrator being on low? At the very least, I bet you're squirming and panting.”

“Now, listen closely. I'm going to make you an offer.”

If his offer involves you cumming, you’ll do whatever it takes.

“I'm going to let you cum with the vibrator still on low—assuming you can. This time I'll be generous and will give you 90 seconds, even. But here's the catch. At the end of this session, you will be cumming. So if your begging cunt blots out any logic in your brain, and you decide to cum now, and then feel it's “too much” later, well. That'll be your own fault. Even if you're overstimulated, you'll be cumming again, so choose wisely.”

“Either way, you need to keep the vibrator on your clit for another 90 seconds. You just need to decide if you're cumming or edging. Get ready. To spice it up, this time I'm not counting aloud—I'll just tell you when to stop. So if you're planning on cumming, try not to waste any time. Because if I say stop and you're right there, I doubt you’ll be very happy. Now, begin.”

Risking an overstimulated orgasm after this is a dangerous game, but—

You press the vibrator harder against your clit. 

You need to cum—you don’t care about anything else right now.

Your free hand grabs at your breast—your toes curling, and your heart racing.

Your back arches off the bed, a symphony of miniscule whines and gasps falling from your lips.

Then, the tension inside of you reaches its limit, and snaps.

Your voice catches in your throat—your body spasming as waves of pleasure rock you.

You keep the vibrator on your clit to draw them out as long as you can, but after a few long beats, Hat Guy’s voice fills your ears once again. 

“Stop—that's time. So…did you cum? I wish I could see the state of you…I bet you're starting to look all fucked out. We're already at the 20 minute mark, after all.”

You can’t believe it’s already been 20 minutes. Yet, at the same time, can’t believe you’re not already closer to the end.

“Now, I did say you'd be cumming again, so why don't you go ahead and put your vibe on high? Let's try and force it out of you.”

It’s fine…it’s totally fine. 

Turning your vibrator on high will be totally fine.

You move the toy back to your clit and push the button until the vibrations are much more intense than before.

Almost immediately, heat rushes through your body—stemming from the still recovering nerve ending on your clit.

You’re over-sensitive. Fuck.

And yet…your pussy still flutters—your muscles tensing once again as another orgasm begins to build.

“Ahh, I bet you're squirming like a pathetic little worm. Is it too much? Do you want to beg me to let you stop?”

“Your toes are curling, aren't they? I wish I could hear you and see you panting like a bitch in heat. Should I throw you a bone? Would that satisfy that sad cunt of yours?”

You are writhing, and panting, and every other filthy thing he’s pegged you as. But—you don’t want to stop. You’re too far in now—your whole body shaking, and your breaths coming quick as the vibrator on your clit overwhelms you.

It’s overwhelming, but you can’t stop chasing that high. You—

“Actually…that's not a bad idea. Stop—now.”

Despite not wanting to, you immediately yank the toy away.

You hear yourself whining, unable to help it.

“Hopefully you didn't cum in the last 30 seconds. If so…whoops~”

You wish you could kick him.

“This final orgasm is going to be our grand finale, so we should really let the sparks fly. And maybe your juices, depending on how hard you cum.”

“Grab your dildo—shove it in.”

You scramble to grab it—your arm darting to the side to recover the dildo you’d discarded a short while ago. 

As soon as you have it, you spread your legs and press the head at your entrance—stuffing it in without any preamble.

A pleasant sigh leaves you as that full feeling returns.

“You're going to fuck yourself with it—however fast or slow, I don't care. And at the same time, turn your vibrator back on high.”

You can tell where this is going, and you honestly think it may kill you, but you follow his instructions nonetheless.

Turning the vibrator on high, you place it back on your clit and then begin fucking yourself with the dildo. 

Almost immediately, involuntary sounds slip out of you—your body writhing against the sheets.

The overwhelming strength of your vibrator on your clit now partnered with the messy rubbing of your dildo between your walls…you’re truly becoming the mess he promised to make you.

“Oh, and just so things don't end too soon, you need to hold out for at least one minute. I'll let you know once you have permission to cum.”

You hardly think it’s fair that he’s saying this now, considering you’ve already started fucking yourself, but even so, you want to listen—want to be a good girl who does what he says, and only cums when permitted.

Holding out for a whole minute when your cunt is already starting to spasm—your clit feeling like it’s on fire—is certainly going to be a challenge, though.

“You know…I bet if this were a live call, I'd be able to hear how wet your pussy is. You're probably gripping onto that dildo so tightly…as if it's a real cock that you're begging to properly breed you.”

If he were here you wonder how he’d fuck you. Certainly hard enough that you’d be able to hear the slap of his balls against your pussy—

“You must be panting, huh? So ready to cum…I wonder if you’d be obedient enough to cum when I say. Why don’t we try? We’re getting close to a minute, after all.”

Oh, fuck. 

You’ve never cum on command before, but you want to for him.

“C’mon, princess, I know you can do it…keep going…get yourself right there—”

Your chest shudders, and tears blot your eyes.

You’re trying. Everything feels so hot. 

The arousal in your tummy swells—tightening up, and searing your insides.

“Cum.”

A sob rips from your chest, and you grind your dildo against your g-spot one final time, before your body obeys, and releases.

With the vibrator on high, this orgasm is much more intense than the last. 

Your breath catches, your spine curving, and your hand releases the dildo in favor of grabbing onto your sheets for dear life.

Despite the clamping of your pussy around the silicone cock, it still manages to slip out of you after a few seconds—flopping onto your mattress, and poking wetly against your ass.

When the pleasure on your clit starts to turn to pain—you finally tear the vibrator away. You turn it off, and weakly discard it onto the bed beside you.

Despite no longer having any toys in or on you, your cunt and clit continue to twitch with aftershocks.

You take a deep breath. 

Hat Guy is still talking in your ears, but your brain is too scrambled to process what he’s saying. So, you just continue to lay there until his words sound more like words again.

“Alright, you must have cum by now. Take a minute to breathe. And when you’re done catching your breath, make sure you get up and go pee, and then get some water. Because I’m not about to be liable for any after-effects of this session.”

Despite being exhausted, you can’t help but quietly laugh.

“Good job making it through. I’m sure we’ll meet again soon…mostly because I’m sure you’ll be opening this file again to get off to, haha.”

“Later~”

The audio ends.

You lay there, staring at the ceiling.

Then, you roll onto your side, slowly get up, and head for the bathroom.

Can’t let Hat Guy be liable for you, after all.

The following morning, you wake up with sore muscles, and a determination to go and beat up Yae Miko and Lisa Minci about their “gift”.

Yeah, maybe you are a little less tense than before, and the stress that had been clinging to you after the end of the previous semester is now gone, but still. They deserve a good scolding.

First, however, you have to go to your 9AM lecture. After that, you’ll have time to run to the library.

Despite the soreness in your thighs, you manage to trek across campus and make it to your class with time to spare. You chose a seat somewhere in the middle, and then set your bag down in the chair beside you.

With nothing to work on yet, considering today’s the first day, you entertain yourself with social media apps on your phone as the lecture hall slowly continues filling up.

When there’s only a minute left before the class is set to start, there’s a tap on your shoulder.

Startled, realizing they’ve probably been trying to get your attention, you immediately take out one of your headphones. Before you can even turn to face them and apologize, they’re talking.

Except…the voice of the person beside you is…eerily familiar. Scratchy, attractive, and perhaps a little annoyed—

“Do you mind moving your bag? There aren’t very many seats left.”

Without saying a word, too stunned to speak, you reach over and move your bag to the floor at your feet. The man grunts, and takes a seat beside you.

As he pulls out his laptop, you finally build up the courage to look at him. 

Dark hair and eyes to match…slim fingers, but veiny hands…a black shirt and oversized jacket—

“Do you need something?”

Oh, fuck—you’ve been openly staring.

Your eyes meet his for the first time, and you open your mouth, but no words come out. The beat of your heart starts to get faster.

He cocks an unimpressed eyebrow at you.

“What? Cat got your tongue?”

This is just too much—there’s no fucking way this is happening—

Unfortunately, before you can finally pull it together and try to redeem yourself, your professor takes the podium at the head of the room.

“Class! Welcome! While it might be a little unconventional to start the semester out on this note, I just want you all to know in advance: this class will heavily rely on cooperation with others. There will be many team projects. In fact—the person you’re sharing a table with will be your project partner for the whole semester!”

…what.

Beside you, the man sighs—clearly unhappy to hear about there being group projects, or you being his partner, or both.

“Great, looks like we’re stuck together.”

“Yep…,” you mumble in response, the first word you’ve managed to speak since his arrival.

He obviously notices, because his lips pull into a teasing little grin, his eyes remaining trained on your still-speaking professor as he whisper—

“Oh, would you look at that? She speaks.”

Your pussy clenches.

Mhmm, yep! 

You’re gonna go jump off a bridge.

[writingbuckets]

The Hot Take: Part 1

paige bueckers x influencer!reader

wc: 1.7k

a/n: here's part 1 to my influencer!reader fic based on the poll i posted a few days ago. i took a few days to write out the first few parts to this storyline, so i shall see yall in a few days <3

**********

Sitting in the studio, you shuffle through the day's notes as you wait for Taylor, your partner and co-host, to get ready. You glance around at the familiar setup: soundproof walls, the big red “ON AIR” sign, and Taylor’s mic with her distinctive bright blue pop filter across from you. The Hot Take has come a long way since you and Taylor first started recording episodes in a makeshift studio in your apartment.

Finally, Taylor takes her seat, grinning like she’s got a secret. You recognize that glint in her eye; it’s the same look she gives you right before she drops a bombshell on air. You chuckle, half expecting her to share some wild celebrity tidbit or throw in an off-the-cuff comment that’ll leave fans buzzing.

“All right, ready to kick things off?” she asks, sliding her headphones on. You nod, pressing record, and the familiar flow of the episode begins.

The conversation starts with your typical lineup of the week’s big pop culture and sports events. You trade opinions on a recent basketball draft, discuss an unexpected celebrity breakup, and riff on a few new album releases. Fans love the way you and Taylor can pivot from debating sports stats to analyzing the latest music trends���all with a laid-back vibe that feels like a natural conversation between friends.

As you move toward wrapping up, Taylor flashes you a mischievous smile, one that promises she’s about to shake things up. Before you can question her, she clears her throat, leaning close to the mic with a conspiratorial whisper.

“So, Y/N, we always promise full transparency on this show, right?”

You nod, slightly suspicious but playing along. “Right...”

She grins, eyes sparkling. “Well, I feel like it’s time I share something personal—a bit of a confession, if you will.”

You raise an eyebrow, curious. “Oh, really? Do tell.”

“It’s about my celebrity crush,” she declares, and you feel your eyebrows shoot up. Celebrity crush? That’s…random. But Taylor’s got that devilish glint, so you know she’s leading somewhere.

“Oh, please, Taylor,” you say, laughing. “Are you seriously bringing up your celebrity crush right now?”

“Of course! It’s relevant to sports, I promise.” She laughs, her voice dipping into an almost-reverent tone. “Because it’s Paige Bueckers.”

There’s a beat where you try to process that. Paige Bueckers—a name practically synonymous with college basketball greatness, a player with such raw talent and drive that her highlight reels are legend. Of course, Paige has the kind of skill and flair on the court that would make her anyone’s “celebrity crush.”

Without thinking, you roll your eyes and let out a laugh. “Oh, Paige Bueckers? Come on, Tay. Isn’t she a bit…overrated?”

The words escape before you have time to reconsider, and you catch Taylor’s jaw dropping in mock horror, her hand flying to her mouth. Her eyes go wide, as if you’ve just blasphemed on live radio.

“Overrated?” she exclaims, her voice full of exaggerated shock. “Y/N, you’ve officially crossed into hot-take territory. Are you serious?”

You shrug, leaning back in your chair as you play it off. “I mean, yeah, she’s good. She’s really good. But let’s be real—people act like she’s already the GOAT, and she’s, what, twenty-three? I think she’s talented, sure, but maybe the hype’s a little…excessive?”

Taylor shakes her head, laughing as she turns back to the camera, knowing your listeners will eat this up. “Listeners, you heard it here first—Y/N thinks Paige Bueckers is overrated. Prepare for the inevitable Twitter meltdown!”

You chuckle, figuring it’s all in good fun. You and Taylor are known for your candid takes; it’s what fans love most about the show. This will be just another talking point, something people can debate online. You wrap up the episode, signing off with your usual mix of humor and playful barbs, and end the recording.

**********

A few hours later, you’re back at home, scrolling through Twitter out of habit. Normally, after an episode drops, fans will post funny clips or start discussions around your and Taylor’s latest takes. You expect some buzz, but this? The reaction is way bigger than usual.

Your notifications are packed with tags, mentions, and—oh. There it is. A clip of your “overrated” comment has already gone viral. One account with a sizable following has posted it, captioning, “Did Y/N just call Paige Bueckers overrated?!” The clip has already racked up thousands of likes and retweets, with fans both defending and attacking your opinion.

Curious, you start scrolling through the replies. A lot of fans are indignant, passionately defending Paige’s talent and listing her stats, achievements, and highlights as if you’ve personally insulted them.

“Overrated? Y/N clearly hasn’t seen a game.” “She’s one of the best of her generation—how can you not see that?” “Bet Y/N wouldn’t last five minutes trying to guard her.”

But there’s also a crowd that’s rallying behind your comment. Some fans are laughing, glad to hear someone finally say what they’d been thinking. “Finally, someone not drinking the Kool-Aid,” one user writes. Another adds, “She’s great, but let’s not pretend like there aren’t other amazing players out there.”

The debate is heated, and the takes are piling up faster than you can read them all. A quick glance at Twitter’s trending page reveals that your name and Paige Bueckers are both climbing the ranks.

You sigh, amused but slightly annoyed. It’s one thing to have fans debating, but Twitter is practically ablaze, turning what you thought was a lighthearted comment into a viral controversy.

By the next morning, things have escalated even further. As you sip your coffee, you notice that your notifications have doubled overnight. And this time, it’s not just random fans. Paige’s teammates are chiming in too.

Azzi Fudd has posted a clip of Paige landing a flawless three-pointer, captioned, “@Y/N, this looks overrated to you?” Jana’s added her two cents with a subtweet: “We all have opinions, I guess. Can’t wait for the next episode.” And KK has dropped a classic response: “Hot takes are like free throws—not everyone hits.”

Each comment comes with thousands of likes and retweets, adding fuel to an already blazing fire. You find yourself chuckling, impressed despite yourself. They’re all coming to Paige’s defense with such witty precision that it’s hard not to admire the loyalty.

Yet, you also feel a prickle of defensiveness. Sure, Paige is good—great, even—but does that mean everyone has to agree that she’s the best thing in sports right now? You pride yourself on being honest and not falling for the hype, but as you scroll through the seemingly endless tweets, part of you wonders if you went too far.

Taylor texts you with a stream of laughing emojis. “Looks like you got the basketball world up in arms. Congratulations!”

You text her back, trying to stay cool. “All in a day’s work, right? Who knew Paige Bueckers had such a dedicated fanbase?”

“Did you really think people would let you get away with that one?” she teases, sending a gif of a player shrugging. “I think you just made Twitter history.”

You laugh, trying to play it off, but as the morning wears on, you can’t stop refreshing the timeline. More comments flood in from basketball fans, analysts, and even a few pro athletes. It’s spiraled into something you never intended—an opinion piece turned viral moment.

That night, you’re lying in bed, scrolling through the remnants of the day’s chaos when a new notification catches your eye. It’s a message request, from someone with a verified blue check. Your heart skips a beat as you read the name.

Paige Bueckers.

You hesitate, not sure what to expect. You’ve been in the public eye long enough to know that some people thrive off the chance to “clap back,” and you half expect Paige to lay into you.

You click to open the message, bracing yourself, but what you read is the last thing you anticipated. The message is short, her tone direct but surprisingly playful: “Overrated, huh? Bold opinion. Care to explain?”

For a moment, you just stare, processing the fact that Paige Bueckers herself has taken notice of your podcast—and your opinion. There’s something oddly thrilling about the attention, and you can’t help but wonder what this conversation might lead to.

With a smirk, you hover over the reply button. You know that a response could pull you further into this whole debate, maybe even turn the interaction into something bigger than a passing Twitter controversy. But there’s a thrill in it—this was Paige Bueckers, after all. The fact that she’d reached out, even playfully, meant you’d gotten her attention. For someone so used to being idolized and hyped up, maybe your perspective had struck a nerve.

Do I play it cool? Double down?

A few clever responses run through your mind, each one more sarcastic than the last, but you decide to keep it simple and direct. After all, Paige’s message had a vibe—she wasn’t attacking you. She was…what? Curious? Challenging you? Either way, it felt like an invitation, and you weren’t about to back down.

“Guess I’m just not a fan of hype,” you type, keeping it short but loaded. You hit send before you can second-guess it.

Not even a minute later, a new notification pops up.

“Fair enough,” she replies. “But if you think it’s all hype, maybe you’ve been watching the wrong games.”

You stare at her reply, feeling a flicker of competitiveness spark to life. She was biting back, not with hostility but with confidence—clearly ready to defend herself without missing a beat. Part of you is annoyed, but a bigger part admires the quick comeback.

So you respond again, more playful this time. “Guess I’ll have to tune in to one of your good games, then.”

A couple of seconds pass, then another message from Paige appears, this one laced with a challenge: “Tell you what—how about courtside seats to the next game? See if you still think I’m overrated.”

For a moment, you’re caught off guard. Was she…inviting you? To her game? This was turning into something more than just a Twitter exchange. The idea of seeing her play up close, watching her skill in real-time, fills you with a mix of intrigue and resistance.

You sit with her offer, fingers poised above the keyboard. Every instinct is telling you to throw a snarky response back, but curiosity gets the better of you. Before you realize it, you’re typing, accepting her offer with a short, “I’ll be there.”

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: After being a guest on the podcast, you thought your communication with Zach was over with, but that was until you got a certain texts from a certain someone.

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, dealer!Zach, mentions of smoking weed, being high, friends to lovers, cuddling, cute actions, fluffy and smutty, unprotected sex, biting, hair pulling, handjob, fingering, sensual filth

Word count: 3.7k | not edited

Sorry this took so long, I’ve had writers block for days. I hope it’s okay, love yas! Enjoy! 🖤

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You walk through the door, “Hello, hello.”

“Ahh!!” Tara says excitedly, “I so happy you’re here!” She walks over to you and you embrace her in a hug, “I’m so glad you reached out, again, thank you!”

“We’re so excited to have you.” Tara says as she leads you over to the seat, “You can have the honor of sitting next to Zach, he’s probably going to target you today anyway. I think he has a little crush on you.”

You roll your eyes laughing as you sit, “Yeah, I seen how he is. I watched a few videos to kind of catch up on everything.”

Zach and Jared walk in and Jared is the first to greet you, “Hey, y/n. How are you?” He walks over and you stand back up to hug him, “I’m good, busy. But good. How are you?”

He nods, “I’m good.” He steps out of the way and you gasp, “Oh my goodness.”

Zach smirks, “Sheesh, I know I’m attractive but no need to make it a big deal.” You shake your head as you walk over, laying a hand on the head of the dog in his arms, “I was talking about the dog.”

Zach nods ever so slightly and his voice is low, “I know.”

You smirk, scooping the dog from his arms, “You just lost your dog.” You walk back over and sit down to put on your headphones, hands going right back to love on the dog in your lap.

“So, this is your first time meeting Zach right?” Jared asks and you look up, giving him a nod, “Yep, first time, I mean. I think we’ve followed each other on Instagram for a little bit.”

Zach holds his hand up and tilts his head, “Oh, so we have decided to pretend like last night didn’t happen, got it.”

Your mouth drops and you gasp, “Zach.” You laugh, “Don’t do that.” Tara raises her hand, “Actually, y/n was with me last night.” She looks at you, “Can I say it!?”

You smile, nodding your head, “Yeah, go for it.”

“So for those of you who don’t know who y/n is, she has multiple brands, a swimsuit line, a make up line-“

Alyssa cuts Tara off, “Which are both really good by the way.”

You smile and blow her a kiss. She pretends to catch it and you laugh and Zach scoffs, “Get a room.”

“Wow. I don’t know who Zach is more jealous of today, Alyssa or Handsome for being in y/n’s lap.” Jared laughs and Zach sighs, “Have you ever heard of the term, think before you speak?”

“Have you?” Tara and Jared yell at Zach in unison and you cover hour mouth, “I’m so glad I showed up today.”

——

Followers in each others Instagram lists is what you and Zach have been to each other for a while.

You’d like his stuff when you seen it, vice versa.

You couldn’t lie when you said his posts didn’t put a smile on your face, or make your heart skip a little beat when he posted a picture he looked a little too good in.

You’ve been newly single these last few months, and you just knew that you were set out to get nervous around anyone you found attractive.

But Zach didn’t make you nervous.

He made you feel comfortable.

You felt like you knew him for as long as you followed him on insta. It was weird, but yet, so refreshing to just have someone talk and joke around with you.

There only thing that was serious about it, was the tension you hoped no one picked up on, but with being a, basically five star rated influencer, you had a fan base that picked apart every thing you did.

So in the long run, you wouldn’t be shocked if you woke up to you and Zach trending on twitter or have new edits posted that ship the two of you that your friends would send to tease you.

Your phone rings, pulling you from your thoughts.

You sit up from your bed and reach over, furrowing your brows when you see a number displayed across the screen.

You answer, kinda skeptical, “Hello?”

“Y/n?”

You pull your head back, slightly shocked, “Zach?”

“Yeah thank Tara for leaving her phone laying around.” He chuckles and you laugh, “You could have just asked for it, you know?”

He sighs, “Yeah, I don’t know why I didn’t just do that.”

You smile and tilt your head, “So, what’s up?”

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, “Do you.. want to come over?” He quickly follows up, “Just to hang out.”

The words roll off your tongue with major ease, “I would love to just hang out with you.” You tease, “I’ll text you when I leave.”

——

You pulled back up to Zach’s, chewing on your lip as you text him, I’m here.

He responds back almost instantly, like he was waiting for you already, Come in through the studio door.

You get out, making sure you have everything before you walk towards the door. As you grow closer, Zach pushes it open, giving you a smile, “Hello again.”

“Hey.” You smile as you walk past him and into the house. He nods towards the steps and you follow him, making your way up to his room.

He motions for you to go in and you oblige, walking in, and you know his eyes are on your eyes, but you can only smile.

You turn around as he closes the door and he licks his lips, “So if I did my research right..” he walks over to his nightstand and opens the door, “C’mere.”

You walk around and your jaw drops as the sight in front of you, “Zachary Justice.”

His head snaps towards you, “What?”

You smirk, shaking your head, “What a plot twist you are.” His eyes look around the room, “Not following.”

You sit down next to him and you lean in, “Are you a..” your voice goes barely audible, “..drug dealer?”

He turns his head, his lips inches from yours, “I stay away from the harder shit, so..” he purses his lips, “that would just make me a, weed dealer then?”

You nod slowly, eyes flicking from his lips to his eyes, “I supposed it would, wouldn’t it.”

He smiles, looking back down at the box in front of him, “I can roll us a blunt if you want, a joint. Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

“Well, how m-“

“Mm.” He shakes his head, “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” You laugh slightly and he looks at you, a smirk toying with his lips, “Offer to pay. If I wanted you to pay, I would have gotten the money first.”

You bite your lip, “Okay.” You swallow, “We can just do a joint or something. Doesn’t have to be much.”

He nods, pulling a pre-rolled joint from a thick plastic bag, “Okay.” He nods towards the bed, “Make yourself comfortable.”

You look at the bed and back to him, “You.. you’re gonna smoke in here?” He nods, “Or whenever you’re comfortable. I usually just do it here while watching a movie.”

“Do they know?” You start to kick off your shoes, “Jared and everyone else?”

Zach nods, “Yeah, they get from me, so they keep it hushed.” He slips his shirt up over his head and walks over to you, placing the joint between his lips as he lights it.

He takes a drag and hands it to you, “I’m going to go get some snacks, tray is there. Remote is here. Make yourself at home, sweetheart.”

You smile, taking the joint from him, “Thank you, Zach.” You watch him walk out before you place the joint between your lips, taking a much needed drag.

You hold in the smoke, eyes glancing over the screen as you look at the movies. You tilt your head back letting out the smoke as you slowly feel the buzz of being high creep its way in.

You hear the door open and tilt your head up, “That was fast.” You take another drag, eyes watching as he walks around to his side of the bed.

He chuckles, setting down the stuff he brought, “Did you pick a movie?” He looks up and over to you, you nod, handing him the joint, “Uh huh. I was just-“

You pause as you watch him take a drag, “-waiting for you.”

He nods, “so nice.” He smirks back at you and hands you the joint. You press play as you take a third hit, really feeling relaxed now.

You move back towards the headboard, leaning up against it as you move around to get comfy.

Zach glances back and shifts over and back to lay between your legs, his arms hooked under, so his hands rest on top of your thighs.

You look down at him, smiling as you take another hit.

You reach down, placing the joint between his lips and he nods his head when he wants you to pull it away.

You sit up, putting the joint in the tray before you slowly lean down. Your free hand on his cheek as your press your lips to his, mumbling out, “Blow.”

He exhales and you inhale the smoke from his mouth.

You peck his lips quickly before sitting up to exhale, “Sorry. I’ve always wanted to do that.” You explain and he tilts his head back to look at you.

You glance down at him, “I had a feeling you’d be okay with it.”

“The only thing you had a feeling about today?” He asks and you shake your head. He bites his lip, nodding his head slightly.

You clench your jaw as each movement of his neck resting against your clothed crotch area sends shivers up your spine.

“I figured I’d take a shot because your eyes..” he smirks, “Your eyes said you were feeling it, too.”

All you can do is nod slowly. Your hand moves to his hand and your run your fingers through the brown stands as he stare up at you, “Talk to me, baby.”

His quiet voice makes you feel weak.

“I feel it.” You whisper out, eyes moving to his glossed over ones, “I’ve never.. felt this way with someone before.”

“It’s nice, right..” Zach laughs weakly, “When you fall so unexpectedly for someone and they feel the same way back.” His hands slide down to give your knees a squeeze and you clench around nothing from the action.

He knows he’s teasing you, but he’s waiting for you to make the first move. Or, for you to tell him to stop, which is something you won’t be doing.

He smirks, looking back at the tv. A little bit goes by and he’s now laying with his arms on either side of your body and his head rested on your shoulder.

His forehead is resting against your neck and you’re nervous now, and the urge to swallow is screaming at your loudly.

You don’t want to seem nervous, but if this goes you know in your gut it’s going, you can’t help but be nervous.

“You know.” Zach says, finally breaking the long silence. You hum in response and he chuckles slightly, “Weed.. be perfect together.”

You giggle slightly, “That’s cute.”

“Get it.. weed..” he laughs weakly and gets serious really fast, “Please don’t leave.”

“I’m not going to leave.” You run a hand through his hair, “You’re cute. You have good weed, and you make me laugh? Please. You’ll have to kill me to get me away from you.”

You feel him smirk and he pulls your body closer to him, “Good thing I don’t want a murder charge.”

You laugh and almost like muscle memory, plant a kiss to his forehead. Instantly, he retaliates with a gentle kiss to your neck.

Neck kisses are your weakness.

You test it again, planting another kiss on his head. He kisses your neck again, and again. And again.

You let out a little moan as he sucks gently, his teeth grazing your skin, “Mm, you like that huh?” Zach’s voice is low in your ear.

You nod, a hand sliding to the back of his head, “Yes.”

He starts kissing your neck again, his hand sliding up to push your sweatshirt up your stomach slightly. Your muscles twitch under the light brush of his finger tips and you gasp, whimpering out as you feel his teeth sink into your skin.

You moan, body pushing closer to his as he kisses up to your ear, “You sound so pretty.” He gently bites down on your bottom lip before his fingers slide to the bottom of your sweatshirt, “Can I go under?”

You raise your brows, “Such a gentleman.” Zach smiles, pecking your lips in between kisses, “I.. just.. want you.. to be.. comfortable.. and.. relaxed, baby.”

You go to sit up and he cups your cheek, bringing you back to him, “Let me do it.” He sits up and quickly but gently takes off your sweatshirt.

You bite your lip and lay back down, Zach lays back down besides your and slips his arm under your head as your leg goes over his hip.

Your hand moves to rest on his neck as your lips meet again, but this time the kiss was hungry.

His hand slides from your thigh to your ass and he pushes you in to meet his hips. You moan against his lips when you feel his hard bulge press against your clothed cunt, “Please.”

He moves his hand from your ass and brings it up to squeeze your boobs, going back and fourth between them.

You tilt your head back, moaning out as you grind down onto him, “Zach..” your tilt your head forward, “P-please.”

He slides a hand down between your bodies, leaning his back so he has room to slip his hand into your sweats and panties.

Your breathing grows rapid as you await the needed touch. His fingers slide down to press onto your clit and your breathing gets caught in your throat as your hips buck forward slightly.

“That what you want? Does it feel good, sweetheart?” Zach asks against your lips. You whimper out, “Feels so good..” you reach down to push his hand down a little further, “Need more of you.”

He waists no time fulfilling your request.

Two of his fingers slip into you, causing a groan to rip from his own lips, “Fuck, you’re so tight just around my fingers.”

Your eyes roll back as his fingers curl to reach that perfect little spot, “F-fuck.” Your chest pushes into his and he groans, “Can you cum for me?” He kisses your neck, “I want to get you off, sweetheart.”

“Close.” You whisper out, “Keep going.”

“Think you can take a third, baby?” Zach asks and you nod eagerly, “Please, please, please.” Your voice is whiney, “Fuck.”

You feel Zach’s two fingers withdrawal but they’re quick to return and you moan louder as the slight stretch you feel as he thrusts them into you slowly.

“F-fuck.” You gasp out, arching your back as Zach leans down and takes your nipple into his mouth.

His tongue flicking and swirling over sends you over the edge, squeezing his fingers and moaning continuously.

Your hands tangle in his hair and tug, earning a groan that vibrates your nipple that’s between this teeth.

He guides you through your high, kissing up to your lips before he pulls his hand out of your sweats.

You wanted more of him.

You grab the waist band of his sweats and tug on them, leaning in to have a turn with his neck. He groans as you kiss and lick upward, whispering quietly in his ear, “I want you to fuck me.”

His cock twitches against your hand, “if that’s what you want.” He whispers as he grips your hand and pushes it down harder.

You squeeze and pull your hand away so you can roll over to take off your sweats and panties. You turn back, shocked at how quick Zach was to take the rest of his clothes off.

“I know, I’m quick.” He smirks and grabs your arm, pulling you back into him. He pulls the blankets back up around your bodies before moving to roam the newly freed skin.

You tilt your head up, lips searching for his. You weren’t sure if it was just because of your connection with him, or the fact that you were high, but you feel so needy for him.

And Zach loved it.

He drapes your left leg over his hip as pulls you closer, his lips connect to yours. You moan against his lips as you feel the head of his cock brushing up agains your soaked opening.

Your nails dig into his back as you whimper, rolling your hips into his, “Baby.”

Zach grips your hips, pulling you down as he pushes his hips upward. You gasp, jaw falling slack as you feel him slide into you.

You look at him, brows furrowed as you slide your left hand to his cheek.

He breathes out quickly before smashing his lips to yours, “Fuck you feel so good.”

You moan against his lips, walls clenching his cock as he thrusts in and out at a slow pace. He had you feeling so good within a matter of seconds, the way you felt from the high mixing in made you feel like you were on top of the world.

Nothing mattered but Zach.

No busy work days.

No constant emails, calls, and texts.

Your world was silent for a moment, for the first time in a while.

“Fuck.” You whine out, digging your heels into the back of his thigh, “Gonna cum.” You smoosh your lips to his, moaning against them as you cum undone around him.

“That’s it, baby.” Zach whispers as his hands press harder into your body, “Just let go for me.” He presses his lips to your forehead before resting his own against yours.

He slides a hand up to your cheek, running his thumb over it as he groans lowly. You slide your thumb to his lips, pulling it down slightly as you moan out, your voice soft when you speak, “You sound so hot.”

He groans at your words, moving to bury his face into your neck as he thrusts into you deeper, “Keep talking, please.”

Your hand slides around to grip the hair at the nape of his neck, “You make me feel so good, Zach.” You gasp when you feel his hand slide down to rub on your clit, “Fuck.”

You tilt your head back and he lifts his head to attach his lips to your skin. You squeeze his cock, earning a moan from him.

You smirk slightly, “Does that feel good?” You tilt his head up to peck his lips and he nods, “Fuck, baby. Yes, so good.”

His hands grip your body and he rolls on top of you, your legs instantly locking ankles on his lower back, “Where do you want me?”

You arch your back, moaning out as he keeps his thrusts as steady as he can, “Just.. pull out if you can.”

He nods, connecting his lips to yours again. You drag your nails up his back, and he thrusts his cock into you, “Sh-“

You feel his cock quickly disappear from you before feeling his cum pool between your hips. He lifts his head from your shoulder and kisses your cheek before he gets up to get something for you to wipe off with.

Your eyes follow him as you regain your breath. He hands you a towel and you smile as you take it.

“So do you want to start the movie where you started distracting me or?” He looks at you with a smirk and you roll your eyes as you sit up, “Hey now. I’m not the one who started the neck kissing.”

“But you did start the kissing.. I mean, the whole sucking the smoke from my mouth?”

You feel your cheek redden and you fight back a smirk, “Mm.”

He nods, slipping on his sweats before bending down to grab his shirt for you. He crawls on the bed, “don’t think I definitely didn’t pick up on that little peck before you backed away “

You roll your eyes, laughing as you take and slip on the shirt, “whatever helps you sleep at night, honey.” You look over at him and he leans back, pulling you with him, “I’m sure hoping it’s you now, but.. yeah.”

You smile, leaning into his body and watching as he hits play, “If that’s what you want.” His hand moves to intertwined his fingers with yours, “If it’s what you want, too.”

You squeeze his hand, “It is.”

——

A little bit into the movie, you’re laying on Zach with your head on his chest and you let out a quiet sigh, “Thank you.”

His thumb moves over your shoulder, “For what, sweetheart?”

You laugh slightly, “Well, not only getting yourself hired as my new dealer.” You smirk and look up at him and he looks down at you, “Oh yeah? Who says I’m taking new clientele.”

You roll your eyes, “Please. I have you wrapped around my finger.”

“And I love every second of it.” Zach leans down and pecks your lips, causing you to smile and giggle slightly, “And for making me feel like a normal person for once.”

He brushes hair from your face, “I figured you could use a little time out of any sort of light, hence why it’s so dark in here if you didn’t- yeah.”

You reach up, laying a hand on his cheek, "Gosh, how lucky am I? You do have a sweet side, Zach Justice." You scrunch your nose, smirking slightly as he smiles at your joke, "Do you think people will judge me for falling for my weed dealer?"

He reaches up lazily hold your wrist as his head turns to press a kiss to your palm, “I only care what you think, baby.”

——

Thank you for being patient.. I’ve had major writers block this last week or so and I’m trying to push through it. Let me know how you liked it!

As always, I love you all! Thank you for reading!🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[littlestpetgoth]

Tell us more about your little homestucks?

ok.. ill only go over my descendent ocs because they're the ones ive been posting about recently, i have too many homestuck ocs to cover lol..

mayosi pyrope is the first descendent oc i made back when there was a brief trend on twitter to make, fan descendants of the trolls. i think i was inspired by ko's descendent acarid, and terezi being one of my favorite trolls i ended up making a bootleg pyrope. (and i draw them together all the time bc they rot my brain)

they're a radical transmasc weeaboo skater "vigilante" who grew up being raised by humans in a very normal average household where they got basically anything they wanted with no issues. their interests include; dishing out justice, watching animes, playing videogames, and doing sick tricks on their board. they wield a katana that resembles terezi's dragon cane.. they're my simplest designed character, and though they look a lot like terezi with a skirt and long hair their design was heavily influenced by dirk because i imagined that dirk has influenced some kind of anime character that mayosi obsesses over and has based their look on..

they aren't at all interested in, being a lawyer or anything like that and would like to take care of bad guys samurai batman style in their ideal world.. unfortunately the loving gently parenting of their human family didn't toughen them up enough so they're mostly a baby who doesn't do well when faced with conflict. mayosi's easily bossed around by anyone who firmly tells them to do something because they're too scared to step up and stand up for themself and others, they have a lot of shame for not being as strong and cool as terezi or red glare. real wet blanket.

uuuh like terezi, they weren't always blind. they were lured in by their ex best friend now super complex hate not boyfriend acarid and he poured acid into their eyes, ruining their vision and giving them crazy chem burn scars.. i think around this time they were also given their super rad pointy shades so they can look more like their hero, but it was a major blow to their confidence since not only are they a weak coward they're now a weak coward who can't see. they eventually learn to navigate the world via sound waves, its not as effective as terezi's sniff and taste vision but mayosi isnt as interested as smelling and licking everything in their presence.

example of what i think it's like for them here..

theyyy are convinced by acarid to join him in his perfect sburb sesh, where they eventually grow a pair and cut off his arm and gouge his eyes before being shot in the brain and killed dead without ever waking on their moon. (sad) mayosi's feelings about acarid, who essentially abuses and manipulates them constantly, are very complicated because they feel an obligation to take on the brunt of his crazy in order to protect everyone but also because they cling to the nostalgic memories they have of him and are hoping he'll one day go back to that.

kokesi megido is based on kokeshi dolls, i think she sees ghosts and is really scared of them so she's super skittish and is always finding ways to shoo them away.. she probably knows how to speak japanese ig, i dont have a lot to say about her unfortunately.. i like how her design turned out though.

grimir maryam and romato vantas are brothers adopted into a rich human family, they're both spoiled brats and are constantly bickering with each other when they aren't pretending the other exists. grimir is mute and likes to garden (sooo original, i know) and romato speaks a lot and is a hopeless romantic writer. shrug.

i don't have as much to talk about. for any of my descendents other than mayosi because i have a really hard time developing ocs when i dont have people to bounce ideas off of. i mean most of mayosi was formed around acarid's existence and from ko's influence, otherwise they also wouldn't be developed . sorry .

[trappedinafantasy37]

There is a trend that I've noticed amongst fandom spaces around games, and it isn't a trend that is unique to Baldur's Gate. I have seen it happen in my other fandom spaces like Fallout, Cyberpunk, Dragon Age, etc. But people have a habit of having very strong opinions about companions/characters that they do not know.

It is comical to watch the abject lies people create about companions and use them as justification to dislike said companion because they know they don't have a valid reason to do so. This isn't unique to Minthara, this happens to ALL companions (ironically, the funniest and most egregious lies I've ever heard actually aren't even about Minthara). It's just glaringly obvious when it comes to Minthara as she is the least recruited and most killed companion in the game and is thus the least known. So the lies and mischaracterizations pop up more often, and there is an abundance of them. And it gets exhausting having to constantly fight these lies all the time. Especially when so few people actually know her and thus there are few who are able to defend her.

I remember there was a poll a few months ago that overwhelming voted Minthara as the least loyal and most likely companion to cheat on you. To me, that just screams that the people who voted for her in that poll have never had a conversation with her outside the goblin camp. Minthara is the most loyal companion. That is not an opinion of mine. That is a fact. That is canon to the game. She is canonically your most loyal companion. And it's not that she's the least likely to cheat. She never will. Again, not an opinion. That is canon to the game. But this is information people don't know, because they've never spent a single moment getting to know her. This is a lie being spread about her that will be used as justification to dislike her and to justify not recruiting her or justify killing her.

I have also seen people admit that their opinions about her is formed solely on social media posts from YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, Reddit, or Tumblr because they just can't stomach having her in their party. As ironic as this is going to sound, but your opinion about a character should never be based on social media alone. The people who do this are missing out on the context of that post and often fail to use it in comparison with the rest of the character (especially since there is a high risk of a social media post containing misinformation or just straight up lies). People will take this one snippet of a character, and use it as if that it is all that character is. Posts on social media, including mine, are meant to be supplementary to your experience of a companion, not the sole foundation.

When it comes to these social media posts, no two people are going to have the exact same interpretation, which may cause confusion for an outsider looking in. Even amongst us Minthara enjoyers, we do not always agree, and that is to be expected. We are all different people who have lived different lives and thus have different experiences informing our interpretations. Even amongst my mutuals we do not always agree, and that's normal. But at least we have taken the time to get to know her and come to our own conclusions and can understand how someone else came to a different one. My posts, or anyone else's, should not be your sole source of information about Minthara or any other characters. You still do need to form your own opinion and that can only be done by actually spending the time to get to know them.

Recently, one of my old posts in which I talked about the relationship with Minthara and Karlach has exploded again. And I see the tags that people are attaching to it. The game has been out for 10 months now. And it makes me sad that people still have the wrong opinion about Minthara. It makes me sad just how little people actually know about her. It makes me sad that people are only now going to go recruit her for the first time, even though the knock out exploit has been here for months. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that my post has changed the way people see Minthara and encouraged them to want to get to know her. But it breaks my heart that I have to use another companion to convince people to get to know Minthara, because to them, Minthara alone just isn't good enough. They have already made up their mind about her, even though they don't even know her.

People are allowed to have whatever opinions that they want. But don't get online and share those opinions about a character you don't even know to people who do. It's like highschool level petty nonsense where people would rather believe and spread rumors about a person, rather than getting to know the person themselves and forming their own opinion. And, no, I don't care if your opinion is a positive one because even positive opinions can be inaccurate and wrong if you don't know the character. Again, this isn't just about Minthara but all characters and companions. And I'm only scratching at the surface level here. This essay would be significantly longer if I actually took the time to talk about how implicit bias, racism, homophobia, and sexism have all had a negative impact on fandom perception of Minthara and the other companions.

I will never tell anyone to do anything with their game they don't want to do, I will only encourage people to try new things. If you truly do not want to recruit Minthara or interact with her, that's fine. It's your game, your world, your rules, your vision.

But, I will say this. If the only conversation that you have ever had with Minthara is the one in the goblin camp, shut the fuck up about her. This cruel, heartless, evil person that floats around is a twisted version of Minthara that only exists on social media and was created by people who do not know her. This bastardized version is nothing like the version that actually exists in the game. And you would know that if you ever spent a single second of your time getting to know her.

[paleoleigh]

I don't think I can take much more of this. The constant hate for Taika. The constant hate for us. The constant hate for OFMD. None of which is justified or even based on anything! I just keep wanting to cry. I hate this. I'm not even on Twitter or reddit or anything but here. I barely follow anyone at all. I don't go near the tags. And I still see it! One of the few I do follow, who I've followed for years, just reblogged an absolutely vile post full of misinfo about us and Taika and the show and now I'm ready to cry even more. All I want to do is look at meta and gifsets and bask in how much love and joy this awesome little show brought us all and I keep seeing all this horrible stuff. I hate it and I don't know what to do anymore.

Hi Anon - I wish I knew what to say to make things better. I understand completely where you're coming from though. I've been on this cursed site since at least 2012 and got anon hate for the first time this week solely because of OFMD.

There seems to be a trend lately - not just here but everywhere - to virtue signal by dunking on something "cringe", and people feel the need to justify their actions by clamoring for why it's actually morally right for them to be against it. It really fucking sucks.

But so many people have said this show has saved their lives or given them so much. We've raised over $10k for Palestine and $10k for other charities. We bought food and water for the actors striking this past year. We know the good we're capable of, and it hurts to see others take that in bad faith.

And as for Taika...dude just gets shit on constantly for literally nothing. Misinformation is absolutely rampant about him. My advice for all of this is to use the block button liberally and never go in the main tags. That's how I've avoided seeing a lot of the vile shit floating around here. And as always, my DMs are open if you need to chat. Take care of yourself friend 💜

[laylawatermelon]

My Offering To You The 911 fandom to tide us over the break and beyond

My proposal: Two hastags for fan engagement

#911ThrowbackTuesday

And the most important one

#911ThursdayTakeover

I noticed we tend to dominate the trending sections every Thursday across social platforms (as we should) but it's usually after the episode comes out.

Which understandable.

I've had this idea rattling around since I started watching live on Twitter and have seen that we're taking over the trending tags🤣.

I want to start a fan hashtag/space.

So here's my proposal.

#911 ThrowbackTuesday (and what it entails.

I thought it'd be fun to have the og/older fans telling stories about the fandom, information we won't know, the best personal episode and other info for the influx of new fans. (And who doesn't love to reminisce about the good old days?)

For rewatches and comments

The popular theories of the past (and how wrong or right they were and how funny it was when it was our wasn't proven)

Older blog posts that relates to older episodes

Older Twitter accounts that were popular/were can see what it was like when it started airing.

Old cast photos (please we need them for pfps and other reasons...)

#911ThursdayTakeover

Legendary fan photos (aka tweets etc)

During rewatches acting like it's new info can be really funny too

Interacting with new fans about stuff that happened during the original airing.

I find it fun personally to hear stuff from the older fans and they get to share their excitement and new fans can get it because most of us didn't get the fun of the past seasons.

It's a way to bridge the gap (not that there's one really) and have all fans come together and be unhinged together.

It's a yap fest. 🤗 And what a beautiful one it will be...

And then there's,

ThursdayTakeover is the biggest one.

I have ideas for the drought we're having and we can keep it on trending at least, as it brings good attention and new fans (and subsequently more seasons yes it's all coming together).

There's two protocols I've cooked up.

The drought version (aka now)

This version is dedicated to the present and future of 911. The hastag can be used to post on any day but it's like a little notebook for all things unhinged before new episodes come out.

For when the shows not airing it'll be this:

Theories about future episodes

Meta (all the juicy meta your heart desires)

Current fan works based in the present or future episodes (this includes fanfics, fan art etc)

Spec fics/sneak peek of current work

Regular media sharing

I think this would be easy as I noticed it's a bit hard to navigate specific fan works and information during airing/older posts when using Tumblr due to it not having a specific date system.

This way it kind of lets you put it all in one beautiful hastag that you can scroll for hours and know what exactly is going to be going on.

I'd just like an archive or sorts as it is a bit hard to put together information as a new fan.

(is my audhd showing yet?)

For when it's airing it's a bit different.

It'll be from before the show starts business as at usual there's no need to really worry about trending as it'll do it regardless, but I'm the case is the hashtag if it's a takeover then we have to really takeover. Like all day.

This applies to the hours before we watch on airing days:

Theories/discussions about airing episodes (then after discussing whether or was right or wrong and clowning your theories/the unhingedness of it all)

Sneak peeks /media

Using the hastag to let everyone know what's up and the timeline WILL be flooded with our fruity family that we love and adore🥰

Then as it airs I suggest (it already happens but still)

Live blogging

Live Tweeting

Photos/reactions as it's airing so we can share it collective mind melting

Then afterwards it's business as usual.

Meltdowns

Unhinged posts

Disbelief

Tears

Joy

Recollection of what just happened?!

I only thought of this idea because I'm interested in promoting/helping out with the visibility and stuff (free marketing am i right?)

I haven't been able to fan girl about stuff in a while and feel really welcome and happy because of this show.

It really gives me something to look forward every week to see what the show creates and after the joy the fans share with each other.

You guys are the best! 🤗

Still this is my offering back because this show really changed my life as it gives me something to look forward to every week like an anchor.

So now that the gooey stuff is all done I'll ask once more...

Who's with me?!

[bookishtheaterlover7]

I’m going to counter your anon who says AB isn’t getting karma.

I think she is. A Little bit already.

First, her “husband’s” fanbase despises her. Not all, but I’d say a loud minority that’s also out there ready to snatch her wig for anything she tries to do (lol).

Anytime she does something remotely embarrassing there’s a group of people waiting to out her - remember Liberia? 😂 and they have receipts and keep screenshots. She can’t hide unless she goes private but then she’ll never get more followers. 🤣

And if she thinks these people will stop if she has his baby? She can think again. That’s never happening. I think she burned all opportunity to make peace with his fan base and people want to see her gone. There are a ton of crazy fans that go way too far, yes, but unfortunately shes made enemies for life. Should have thought twice before having your soulmate mock and troll your fans on your behalf and then posting yourself showering to the world as an FU. Now when you try to claim you’re so shy your posts will be spammed with your own nudes.

The general public still does not notice or care about her. She’s so uninteresting and irrelevant her name is still getting spelled wrong. By people in her own country 🙈

Her movie backed by the largest US talent agency made no noise at all in any of the box offices and especially not in the United States of America. She was only only in it briefly and the reviews don’t even mention her. Not really going to help her future IT girl case because in comparison, like Jenna Ortega gained 10 million fans in like two weeks. I’m sure a bunch of them were bots too but let me tell you EVERYOne was watching Wednesday back in Nov-Dec 22. So her gaining that much really isn’t that far off the bat. Not to mention, AB’s big moment to shine was around the same time as Jenna and Jenna beat her and didn’t have to date anyone famous. 🙊

Even Chris back in 2019 - his peak popularity and then 2020 - he was trending at times daily, weekly. He was trending #1 on twitter for at least 24-48 hours during his oopsie weekend. His tweet after that telling people to go vote got millions of likes. He used to get crazy engagement just for breathing. I remember after endgame and then knives out people were talking about him like he had just popped up on the scene…this man had been in the industry at least 20 where at that point. lol

Chris came on IG and I’m pretty sure he gained a million followers in about 24 hours. Yes, there are celebs that did it faster than him but remember he’s always been more of an under the radar celebrity and he never really tried to be otherwise. So for the fact he was hitting 40 years old and joined IG ten years after everyone else and got 1 million the first day is impressive. So yes, he had star power. Jenna has it now.

And yes, CE has lost that star power and in part it’s due to him being with AB. So yes, he’s losing due to his decision to be linked with her, which could be called his karma…

But miss wannabe IT girl? Whew.

Try as she might, Her followers….basically capped at 840K and I will bet Elon musk’s entire net worth she was hoping to hit 1 million the night she went public with her now husband. People on tumblr even saw that she went and pinned her Mrs Harris movie post like the same day their pap pics came out. That’s how you know old girl was waiting and hoping to see her numbers go up.

Lastly, her “husband” is still more popular than her. Even though his fanbase has deteriorated she hasn’t gained more popularity’s I think this may really really grate her (don’t ask me why, I just have this feeling) because she’s the young and vibrant one. She wants to be adored and no matter what she tries to do, photoshopping herself in every picture she posts, she’s not outgaining him in terms of recognition. People will only know her if his name is added first.

So…yeah. Maybe you think she has it all and she’s not getting anything bad. But I would say karma works in mysterious ways. Sometimes it’s not as obvious as you think.

OH! THANK YOU, AN🫶N!!!

God, this really made me feel so much better after reading all the shit Elijah posted on Medium. 🥹

Especially when you mentioned "Karma isn't as obvious as you think". It's something I made a realization recently. Because I truly believe in Karma, I just wanted Karma to be more obvious, but sometimes, it just isn't.

And honestly, that makes it better 😆

Anyway, back to what you said about Albitch's Karma... Ohhhh, the number of laughs you gave me is PRICELESS!!!

I would seriously pay to see the screenshots of HER posts being filled with her own nudes 😆 Reap what you sow!

And I know it will not get any better for her. She's dragging Chris through the mud, and let's just say, that the fans that love Chris, definitely hate her. Beyond her "marrying" him.

Also, how Chris seems to contradict everything he used to say whenever he's with her. Hell, she doesn't even have THE ASS that Chris would be into 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 so, that's a VERY BIG contradiction. And, regards to their marriage... PRIVACY, MY ASS!!!

That said, I love how clearly you can see everything, once you get a level head. That means... Karma is definitely real.

Also, lemme just tag @blue-ice715 because it's her post that I reblogged, and she would definitely love to read this. 😊

[scarisd3ad]

Superstar | football player!Joel Miller x popstar!Reader

Prologue - you belong with me

>> next

Masterlist

Taglist

Warnings - cursing, fake dating? Age gap based off of Taylor swift and Travis Kelce kinda hard launching their relationship last night, Joel has his both his daughters but they are way younger in this (Sarah being 9, and Ellie being 5), Joel is 37 and reader is 26, no outbreak au, and modern au (its around 2022 or 2023)

Summary - when you find out about a certain football player showing up at your tour you decide to reach out just because of all the dating rumors, but what if thoughs rumors turn into reality?

‘Can’t you see? You belong with me’

I let out a sigh as I throw myself onto my couch. I've been spending the last 3 months touring around the US and to say I was tired was an understatement. I pull my phone out of my pocket and begin scrolling through Instagram. my cat ollie hops up in my lap chirping in delight and rubbing his face against my arm. "Hi ollie" I coo as I drag my hand down his head and back. "Hi handsome how are you baby?" I coo as he curls up on my lap.

bringggg bringgg bringgg.

my phone that I had discarded next to me begins to vibrate and display a picture of my best friend Kailey. I pick it up and answer the call. "Yes?" she begins to talk "didyouknowthatjoelfuckingmillerwasatyourconcertlastnight?!!!" my brows furrow in confusion "k I did not understand a word you just said" she lets out an annoyed sigh "Joel miller the football player was at your concert last night" my brows stay in their contorted state because why the fuck would I care? a lot of celebrity's come to my concerts. "Okay?"

"Ugh y/n he said on some podcast that he wanted to give you his number" Joel miller was a name I've heard before, he was a popular football player one that all girl fawn over. "But he couldn't because you weren't doing a meet and greet" I have a feeling that this was all for some type of pr, to get in articles and shit. I've had an influx of popularity recently and a lot of men have claimed they went out with me or hooked up with me just for attention. "Do you really think he's telling the truth?" I can almost hear her eyeroll through the phone. "Just maybe you should dm him. maybe it will be good for you y'know after what happened with Andy." Andrew or Andy was my boyfriend, well now ex-boyfriend. we broke up after almost 6 years together, it was heart breaking to not only me but my fans too. I just haven't been up to date since because I thought he was it for me. "Okay, okay maybe alright?"

once we hang up, I go on twitter to see that Joel miller is trending. I push on the hashtag to see millions of screen recordings of the podcast. it's a podcast that he has with his brother tommy miller who also happens to be a football player. "So, I heard you went to y/n's tour" tommy says with a tiny smirk on his lips. "Yeah, I wanted to give her a bracelet with my number on it, but I couldn't" Joel says with a chuckle, tommy raises his brows "your jersey number or your number?"

"You know which one."

he was cute, I can't deny that he has dark brown hair and dark brown eyes, just my type, but I think he's a little too old for me. I'm 26 he's 37 I think he'd get a bunch of hate online if we got together, right? maybe I should dm him, even if it didn't end up in a relationship I could end up with a cool new friend. I type his name into Instagram and push on the first verified account I see. the account is really just full of pictures with his daughters, his brother, and teammates. no girlfriend in sight. I push on the message button and begin to type.

'Hey, saw the podcast. thought we could may-' no too straight forward. 'Hey, wanna go out?' I decide to settle on just 'hey' because everything else I typed felt cringy.

joelmilleroffical

Me - hey

I let out a sigh as I drop my phone beside me and lean my head back against the couch cushions. "mreow" I look down to see ollies eyes wide open as he looks up at me. I place my hand on his head and begin to pet him.

ping

ollie begins to purr as I pick up my phone. it's a notification from Instagram. I push on it, and it takes me to Joels chat. butterfly's form in my stomach, I shouldn't feel this excited right? I don't even know if he was serious about wanting to give me his number.

joelmillerofficial

Me - hey! - 12:30pm

Joelmillerofficial - holy shit hey

Me - saw your podcast lol...was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?

Joelmillerofficial- yeah, yeah that sounds cool whenever you're up for it lol.

Me - how bout tomorrow? you could come over swim in my pool. you can bring your kids if you want

Joelmillerofficial - sure I have to see if my mom can watch my girls.

the conversation is a little awkward, I just hoped that it wouldn't be like that in real life. I don't really expect anything from this I still don't think I'm really ready to date, Andy and I broke up 3 months ago. I think it's alright for me to be single for a while after a 6-year long relationship. the press was just starting to think that Andy proposed 2 months before the breakup, I was already thinking about rings, so was Andy's mom. the breakup was a total surprise, I didn't expect it, nobody did. I thought he was in love with me, he was nothing but loving towards me. yeah, he didn't like to call attention to our relationship, or talk about me in interviews, or post me but I just thought he want our relationship to be private, he didn't want everyone to know about every aspect of our relationship. maybe I deserved a man who would scream at the top of his lungs that I was his girl.

ping.

joelmillerofficial

Joelmillerofficial - my oldest want to come with me but my mom will watch my youngest.

Joelmillerofficial- what time should I come over?

Me - is 1 alright for you?

Joelmillerofficial- yup

I've never even met this man in real life and him and his oldest daughter are coming over to my house tomorrow. this is good branching out most of my friends are people in the same industry as me or people I met during childhood so meeting someone who has nothing to do with the music industry is cool. I know nothing about the NFL, and he knows nothing about the music industry, a match made in heaven. twitter is blowing up about Joel, every other TikTok or tweet is 'Joel x y/n???' or 'do you think they'll be the new it couple?'. whenever a new man enters my life it's like this, even if the guy is just a friend every article is speculating if we're dating or hooking up. I decide not to tell Kailey because I don't want her to freak out until something is official. knowing her she'd insist on being here, and then embarrass the fuck out of me. this is just going to be a cool getting to know each other thing that'll probably just end up in a friendship.

Taglist

@taylarxse @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @ktheunready @camixkami @skysmiller @mars743 @romeestrvjds @lightxzhan @alyhull @jenna-mcgraw19 @rainyblizzardgiver

[imasloid]

SHINY COLORS FASHION ANALYSIS - MANO SAKURAGI (櫻木真乃)

"Just like the warm, sparkling sun, I want to spread smiles to everyone!"

This is a project analyzing and taking a look at the fashion design and application in the multimedia series, The IDOLM@STER: Shiny Colors. This section is about the soft and fluffy nature-loving protagonist of the series, Mano Sakuragi! If you want to jump to a specific section, go here!

(This is a reprint of my thread on Twitter. I put it on Tumblr for easier reading and for archiving purposes. Enjoy!)

INTRODUCTION

“Mano is a gentle and kind-hearted girl with a soothing aura, but is slightly introverted. She’s the type of person you want to watch over and protect; just being near her makes anyone feel happiness. A first-year student who loves nature and is drawn to mountain climbing & hiking.”

---

Profile

Age: 16

Birthday: April 25th

Height: 155cm

Weight: 48kg

Blood Type: A

Hometown: Tokyo

Hobbies: Going out, Sunbathing at the park

Special Skills: Liked by birds

CV: Hitomi Sekine

---

Before starting the analysis, I would suggest if you haven’t already, read her W.I.N.G. (introductory) commu (through the broswer game's English patch or on YouTube). If you don’t play the game, I would listen to her image song and read the lyrics to get a better sense of her character.

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STYLE BREAKDOWN

Mano’s fashion can be described as a cute, soft, & girly style that’s also comfortable, optimized for going on long strolls in the park. To emphasize her ties to nature, her fashion mainly includes elements from natural-kei, mori-kei, cottagecore, and outdoorswear styles.

The main style that Mano’s fashion takes from is “natural-kei,” a style that is innocent and has a “soft & fluffy” feeling, known as yurufuwa [ゆるふわ]). A modern evolution of other nature-esque styles like mori girl, it fits the simplicity & mild-manneredness of Mano perfectly.

Mano’s older outfits feature many elements from the “mori girl” style, a 2000s style that combines the “yurufuwa” element of the forest with lolita-esque details. Mano’s fashion is much simpler than typical mori girl coords, but key elements emphasize her love for the outdoors.

Cottagecore and outdoorswear are two minor style inspirations that can be seen in Mano’s wardrobe, both linking Mano to her outdoor activities & hobbies. As you’ll see later, these sub-styles all mix together to form a unique fashion sense for each idol in Shiny Colors!

A deviation from the “nature” theme of Mano’s fashion, retro girly is the other major sub-style featured prominently in her wadrobe. The style fits Mano’s introspective and reserved personality which will be expanded on later in the analysis.

Mano’s image color is a light pink, a deviation from the image colors of the faces/red representatives of the other iM@S branches which are usually darker reds & pinks. As Mano is more shy, introverted, & gentle compared to her “red” counterparts, this color suits her well.

This is Mano’s color palette for her fashion, divided into primary & secondary sub-palettes. Her primary palette is a mix of dusty/dull pinks & “natural” neutrals like beiges and browns. This base palette is accented by other “nature” colors to give variation to her wardrobe.

-----

STYLE ANALYSIS

As stated in the style breakdown, Mano’s fashion emphasizes her softness, shyness, & gentleness; when first meeting Mano, she is singing in a park alone to a couple pigeons. When asked to be an idol, she hesitates due to a lack of confidence & not having much social experience.

To show her growth as an idol, her style slowly changes through time. Mano’s earlier outfits have an boyish feel with the darker color palette, heavy mori girl influences (e.g. lace), & short, loose shorts that seem a bit out-of-style compared to the current trends at the time. While cute, her style is a bit outdated, centered around function (clothes for walking/strolls) rather than keeping up with trends (related to having little friends or social interaction). Her fashion is a bit childish for her age, representing her inexperience & room for growth.

As Mano gains more experience with being an idol (around after W.I.N.G.), her style starts to change. Moving away from shorts & lace patterns to skirts/dresses & a more trendy look overall, stage two visually represents her growth as an idol & her newfound sense of maturity. This stage marks the start of the “retro girly” style influence, notably not rooted/inspired by nature. I think this style was introduced to expand on Mano’s character as someone who isn’t just associated with nature, but also her newfound maturity & “old-soul” personality.

The final (& current) stage of Mano’s fashion is very mature and trendy, mostly taking elements of the natural-kei style. Her increased confidence & experience as an idol is seen in her main silhouette, increased experimentation, & a fine blending of previous style inspirations.

Comparing her initial and latest outfits, her growth from a reserved & unconfident individual to a matured & shining idol can easily be seen. However, her inital softness and brightness still remains constant through time as her style changes.

-----

This is it for Mano Sakuragi!

If you liked this thread, check out my Twitter and give me a tip on Ko-Fi so I can do more things like this with other idol series! Thanks for reading <3

Next section: Hiori Kazano

[stainedglassandpigs]

Working on some stuff about the timeline for my Dc Universe and how it maps out, I want to get all my favs in it. This is semi based on my knowledge of the dc universe and shit that makes me happy so pls walk with me here with some of this

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This all takes place in Modern times 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Clark Kent went to metropolis university for journalism on a football scholarship, doesn’t play every game but is a valuable player who brings a southern charm to the city, flashing a corn bread feed smile that has the stadiums cheering load when he does make an appearance on the field. Was more notable in his university’s student paper than on the field, bringing a sense of warmth and community to sports section that many non-sports fans once neglected, not to mention his foodie column were he galavants about the city trying new local ma and pop shops giving beautiful pieces on the history of his meals and small looks into the lives and culture that made the dish. Unfortunately for his every building fans the young bull does not have any public forms of social media, a very not chronological online individual

Lex Luther notorious son of the Luthor Corp Conglomerate who took leave form the socialite scene for a few years seemingly making a return to the city, paparazzi have spotted him at all his old local hang outs,but what’s really caught the eye and attention of the people of Metropolis is his recent knew found vigor for the sciences. The young Luther being seen brushing up with top geneticist and rumors in the streets say leading cloning biologists as well, perhaps Luthor corp is switching from their roots of Tec and into Bio only time will tell. On another more trivial note the seemingly reformed party boy has been seen in the stands of Metropolis University football stadium, perhaps a new love interest has entered the young billionaires life. Very chronically online and constantly trending for arguing with people over subjects he’s stupidly well versed in but no one cares because he’s so annoying about it they just wanna tell piss him off. The #cancellexluthor is a mainstay for the twitter trending page.

Diana prince does not have an alter ego she does not feel the need, and it’s very hard to hide her supernatural origins as a 6’8 woman with glorious gleaming muscles and an accent for a language that has not been spoken in the human world for centuries. Although the international people’s princess does not need a job she does enjoy working at a Smithsonian negotiating the return of stolen artifacts from around the world to their proper homeland, meeting a certain Barbara Minerva who causes the demigod to giggle a little to hard at jokes the other archaeologist and anthropologist don’t seem to find as funny. The world knows her as Wonder Woman powerful heroine and Ambassador to the mysterious Themyscria were her triplet sister rules (people think it’s a cultural thing when Queen Nubia call Diana sister, little do they know she’s being deadass).

(unfortunately I am a Percy Jackson kid so I fear I do like the Zeus Daughter route I beg forgiveness my sisters I know, I have seen Hades as a lovely replacement, and the streets say it’s lazy and over done and takes away for the female centric story that is Diana so perhaps Athena or Aphrodite would make a good replacement to Zeus, but I fear I am not letting go of the daughter of goddess (god) bit

Bruce Wayne has recently returned to Gotham city a decade after the tragic passing of his parents the young heir has reportedly been running His family business since being able to legal inherit it at 16. The young man seems to be making a name for himself in manny different areas of the city, some say he’s a jerk, some says he’s the sweetest thing since apple pie the verdict is still out for the young heir. The paparazzi having great difficulty capturing the young man one minute they have the perfect shot of him walking out of the Synagogue his family once attended together the next he’s vanished and being reported seen going into a high brow event with the next top model on his arm. They say he will be an attendees for this years met gala the public’s has begun buzzing with excitement. In an unrelated note crime in the city of Gotham has had an unusual new bump in the night, no one knows what to think of this new string of beaten up blue mobsters found laying every which way in the streets.

[northwest-cryptid]

Since people seem to have a want for OC and Sona stuff, I shall drop it below the cut for anyone who wants that stuff.

I think the big thing I gotta start off with is saying that for me, Sona and OC are two different things; every Sona is of course an OC, but not every OC is a Sona.

So for the sake of explanation I personally define it as such (and if you define it differently, that's perfectly fine I'm just saying this is how I personally define it for the sake of explanation). An OC is simply an Original Character/Creation, it's a work that comes from myself and not an outside influence such as a video game, tv show, or other media. While a Sona is a "Personification" or a "Persona" of a thing, typically representative of myself, but sometimes it could be of an aesthetic, a concept, or a genre. An example of this would be that I used to have various Sonas for the different styles of music I made (which was a trend back in the day god I feel old saying that).

Okay now to actually get into the stuff people actually came here for. Kicking things off with Sonas I use to represent myself in various media we have first on the list:

Velvet/VelvetSoul

Velvet has been and continues to be one of my main Sonas and a representation of myself that I use for things like VRC, while the outfits are generally in need of a lot of work (they're pretty basic with a very simple pixelation effect thrown on to give off that dreamcast vibe) the more defining features of their hair/eyes and such are based heavily on my OCs from various media and D&D games. Note that yes these are both intended to be the same character, I'm genderfluid as hell and appreciate being able to outwardly present as a more masculine or feminine design at times. The beanie that masculine Velvet wears is a sort of callback to a beanie I wear a lot IRL because it gives me a place to display my collection of pins, I will eventually update it accordingly however for the time being it works just fine.

For the spooky season I gave Velvet a silly ghost appearance where I decided to take some inspiration from the Jet Set Radio aesthetic of big ol' feet and slightly larger hands, I've always enjoyed the concept of playing around with anatomy in a stylized fashion, I however once again didn't go too hard on the outfit since I'm honestly still working on these characters and have a ways to go before I'm going to be happy with them. I however dropped the pixel look here that we see on the original Velvet design:

While some may argue that this isn't recognizably the same character, I would argue that variety is the spice of life and I am fucking SPICY.

I did do a little work on facial expressions to make sure they didn't horribly disfigure the face which was fun

Another Sona often used to represent myself, and one that I hold dear to me is Akito/Aki, probably the one I'm best known for:

I really did my best to throw more Native inspiration at this lad, and honestly I still have a long ways to go on them. They as well have a feminine design that looks wildly different I don't know why I'm like this but I enjoy it:

and as per usual I'm not 100% happy with how they came out so I'm gonna keep working on them because I love my dumb blorbos but I can never stop "improving" the designs lol.

I think my main issue with the current design for Akito is that the artist who drew the VERY FIRST ever commissioned piece of art for Akito did such a good job and no one has been able to capture the same vibe this sketch has this dude did it for like $5 and I gave him such a big tip because I was so annoyed that he was underselling his work because HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS and you want to know the worst part? I got blocked out of my twitter account recently and as I'm unable to access my twitter account I literally do not know what the artist changed his handle to though I remember him changing it before I got locked out, so I literally have no idea what the hell he's going by and I really want to give him a proper shoutout so I'm absolutely going to figure it out because he deserves credit for this piece to the point I'm salty he didn't like, sign it or anything.

This is art that never gets seen and it kills me because for those who don't know, the original design concept for Akito was a sort of mix of 3 things, Kallian (Xenoblade), Sandalphon (Granblue Fantasy), and general Space/Owl motifs given that the general concept design philosophy behind Akito was the idea that, Hihankaga The Owl Maker, a Lakota deity who judged Nagi on their way to the afterlife; was essentially retiring and had placed Akito in her place as the new Owl Maker. My main idea behind that was that people would come to the Owl Maker and tell her their life story the same way I was doing challenge runs in games that would typically follow a character (such as Chester from my Kenshi playthrough) and thematically it would be a sort of "retelling of their life" I was originally, and might still do this mind you; going to have a website dedicated to a sort of "Hall of Fame" where I would write a short bio for each character who's major arc has been completed on the streams and determine if they had lived a life fit for being worthy of an afterlife or whether I'd deemed them unworthy and cast them into the abyss. So basically Akito was meant to be this sort of cosmic owl spirit with wings and stars and the whole nine yards, but still be a more comfortable/easy going sort of individual. The key concept behind Akito as The Owl Maker was simply that Akito never wanted to cast spirits into the abyss so they specifically did everything they could to help people live a fulfilling life just so they could rightfully deem them worthy of their afterlife. Hence why I love the idea of them just wearing really casual clothes and like, a comfy scarf, also I like scarves. The red on the scarf is not just a gentle nod to the color of the four directions but also to the fact Native people are often referred to as "red skins" and generally when it comes to Native imagery such as the symbol for MMIW it's done in red. As a quick aside, if you don't know MMIW is for "Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women" and if you ever seen Akito wearing a red hand-print over their mouth, it's because of this:

(I believe the design on the right was created by Despertar1111 but don't quote me on that seeing as the only place I could find a credit for the image was fucking redbubble but I digress)

The thing no one talks about when it comes to doing Vtuber stuff is the fact that if you're poorer and you save up like $400+ for a model and rigging you'll still get artists who ignore half your design and riggers who generally speaking can't rig full motion so do your research and don't settle on a design/rig that's sub par, I know this now and going forward I'm likely going to make sure the artists and riggers I work with are quality, I already know my next model will be rigged by none other than Neapolitanrime and as for my artist of choice I have no idea because I don't even have the money to consider that sort of thing yet but SOME DAY!

MOVING ON!

One of my OCs and an old OLD Sona for my sort of Grunge Punk music days was such an edgy lad, I'm very like; closet edgelord but you know I mostly keep it to myself; that being said this dude is named Xploit and I love him to death:

General design philosophy here was very grungey street punk vibes, I did in fact slap the same exact beanie that Velvet wears on him but like again clothing is very placeholder with these and basically meant to give a general vibe. Xploit was originally made after my old band and I went downtown and saw some graffiti that was talking about the exploitation of lower class workers where the bottom of the letters were shaped like knives all pointed at a singular entity, likely the laborer in question. I ran with that design to create the logo for Xploit that mirrors his 3 fangs (middle tooth and side fangs) with the X, the L and I, and the T in his name.

Also because I'm 3edgy5u I made his eyes X's (I just thought it looked neat)

I still have a lot of work to do on the shading since I'm working with very simplified 3D model making software instead of making models from scratch in something like Blender like I should be doing to have as much control over it as I want to. That being said it's meant to give an illusion that he has no facial features such as nose/mouth until otherwise speaking, at which point his fangs are meant to be prominent. Everything about his outline from his eyes to his hair is intended to be extremely sketchy and rough.

and because I have a soft spot for making even my edgier characters silly little guys, I made it so when he gets surprised his eyes bubble up.

Since I know there's some controversy regarding characters with bandages and the like I'd like to quickly make mention that none of the bandages worn by my characters are ever intended to suggest self harm.

Admittedly this is far from the complete roster, but we're eliminating anyone/anything that sprung up from games (I do consider them OCs to a degree but I understand they are influenced by the media they were created from/in and I don't feel like that should be necessarily included on a list of original characters that I specifically defined as "not being from media") and these are the ones I've been working on most recently so they're more in the forefront of my mind; I have plenty more for things ranging from music Sonas to just various OCs I've used for D&D and the like. That being said I'll likely throw together another one of these for the other OCs when I have more time/I'm not as busy.

You can have these drawings though:

Akito and Nazo who is @the-sum-of-ones-parts' sona. They are also the one who drew this. They also drew this of Nazo and Velvet

They also drew Akito in a dress (they are giving Melia vibes and I'm all for it.)

and they ALSO drew Akito and Nazo for the Outlast 2 stream we did.

Note that Nazo is a shapeshifter.

Big shout out to @the-sum-of-ones-parts for drawing so many of my dumb OCs/Sonas (like you guys don't understand there is more but I'm trying to not make this post 10 miles long)

THAT BEING SAID I HAVE A BUNCH OF DUMB MEMES OF AKITO YOU CAN HAVE (if you can't tell Akito is my most public OC)

If you have any questions I probably have answers (hopefully) so ask away my friend.

[bumbleknightsblog]

An Engineus Journey in 2024

Hey everyone,

This post isn't your typical opinion piece or how-to guide. It's more of a journey through different engines and technologies, aimed at sharing insights and providing context for my choices. I usually add some bee-related puns on Twitter (yes, Twitter, it's not "X"), but this is more of a tech discussion, so apologies in advance for less of that!

Let's start at the top. I'm bumble_knight, the current lead developer at Beehive Games, an indie studio that's been steadily growing over the last 5+ years. We're a small team driven by passion, juggling game development alongside full-time jobs and life's other demands. I understand the challenges; committing fully to indie game development isn't easy when bills and responsibilities are buzzing around, especially in an industry that's not exactly in perfect health at the moment.

Personally, I've immersed myself in game development for a while, tackling various projects across different technologies and platforms. Now fully embracing the indie life, each game I've worked on has brought its own set of challenges and rewards.

Recently, we launched our latest project, "Getting There," available on Steam, Epic, and itch, developed using Unity. Since the beginning, Unity has been our go-to engine. I've optimized Unity projects of varying scales to ensure smooth performance. However, discussions around Unity's runtime fee initially left a sour note. While Unity has made adjustments, the fee poses challenges for larger studios with higher burn rates and the future of the engine is still a bit uncertain.

To be frank, this incident reminded us that decisions were being made by individuals possibly disconnected from their consumers, potentially jeopardizing stability. Though the situation has evolved, it was a stark reality at the outset.

I embarked on a two-week technology investigation for our upcoming turn-based RPG, "Gaol Story." Initially exploring Unreal Engine, I hesitated due to the daunting task of migrating from C++ and concerns over Unreal's tendency towards bloat.

With a background in XNA, I considered returning to my roots and turned to MonoGame. However, the lack of robust editor support compared to Unity posed challenges. Originally planning extensive game customization, we utilized Dear ImGui, with Unity as our renderer. Transitioning to MonoGame's Dear ImGui implementation proved beneficial, yet grappling with its content pipeline became a hindrance, exacerbating my "engineitus" — the desire to build a perfect system without the constraints of a pre-built engine. So I moved on.

Experimenting with Godot in the past left me unimpressed with GDScript, but a team member's positive experience with it on another prototype prompted another look, in particular the C# branch. While Godot's node-based approach appealed to some, it didn't align with my workflow preferences.

Eventually, we returned to Unity for "Gaol Story," while eyeing Unreal Engine for future projects.

Reflecting on these experiences, I realized it's easy to be swayed by social media trends. However, players generally care little about the engine used; skill and execution determine a game's quality.

That's about it. I'm not entirely sure of the exact purpose of this post anymore, but if you found it useful, that's fantastic! Through this process, I set a time limit and embraced a fail-fast mentality, proving invaluable.

[mitigatedchaos]

What do you think about the Bronze Age Pervert?

He's a symptom, not the disease.

How should I put this...

There's more than one type of "right-wing." I have a basket of moral obligations and groups whose interests I'm supposed to look after. You're probably aware of professional codes followed by lawyers, where they're supposed to advance their clients' interests. It's something like that.

As part of my duties to look after the American people, and to maintain the era of global peace enabled by American power, I'm currently aligned with the right-wing because that's necessary to pursue those interests.

These duties are hierarchical, but they're not a strict hierarchy like the three laws of robotics, rather having relative weights. There are then procedures where new duties are prioritized based on conditions, like successive walls of a fortress in the event of a breach.

I have a general technocratic bent. Also, rather than take one set of assumptions as political fact, I give differing sets of assumptions different odds of being true, and then propose policy (when I'm not doing so as a form of satire) that fits the intersection of multiple sets of underlying assumptions.

From what I have seen, BAP is not like this.

Suppose you are riding a subway, and the subway cars usually have active drug users. You can't remove the drug users, because the state will arrest you, and not the drug users. Even if the drug users get violent, you're supposed to do your best to flee.

The state claims that this is the decision of well-qualified experts, that this is empathy, that you are immoral if you question this situation, and that you deserve the violence if you receive it.

Do you have mastery of the space? Who does the state value more, you the taxpayer, or the drug users?

Suppose we take this situation and try to invert it into an ideology. What sort of ideology would we generate?

Does that sound like what you've heard of Bronze Age Mindset?

I haven't read the book myself, and I don't really agree with what I've heard of it, but a BAPist is going to look at me and say, "Sure, the idea of a liberal America that looks after its own members while maintaining world peace sounds nice maybe, but how likely are you to succeed?" (This would be written as "GAY".)

It's part of the same trend as right-wingers using "based" for ignoring left-wing moral norms. But part of that pointedly not caring is because the morals have gotten too far from the underlying reality, increasing the price people are expected to pay for moral compliance with little or no practical benefit either to themselves or overall society.

I think it peaked around 2020. With widening of the Overton window for the mainstream Republican party, the relative advantage of the ideological vanguard has been reduced, and with Musk's control over Twitter, the amount of selective pressure the right-wing ideological vanguard are under has also been reduced.

[softsnzstuff]

I’ve been encouraged by @victoriablackrose and @softsicknose to make a little something based on this prompt! Here’s a short drabble about Rockstar AU Eddie and the Corroded Coffin guys! ~KB

*****

In hindsight, doing the show was probably a bad call. A bad cold had worked it’s way through all the members of Corroded Coffin over the last two weeks, the buck finally stopping with Eddie, who couldn’t seem to shake it.

This wasn’t the first time he’d performed sick. In fact, he’d gone on before with a lot worse. He really thought a cold wouldn’t stop him, but after having to pause for quite literally the 50th time to cough, sneeze or blow his nose, he was getting annoyed. All he wanted was to put on a good show for us fans and he was really starting to feel like he couldn’t even do that anymore.

He was just a few lines into singing Deadly Daydreams when the incessant tickle in his nose started to blossom again. He scrunched his nose as he went for the bridge, trying to put the buzzing in his sinuses at bay.

He paused as his breath hitched, the rest of the band still playing in the background.

“H’EKSHuhew! iiKTchiew! TssiEW!”

He sniffled against his wrist before pitching to the side one more time.

“N’giSSHu! Hih’ushHew! snfsnff eKTCHiew!”

Eddie held up a hand and the guys stopped playing the song. He leaned up against the microphone for a minute, clearly frustrated with himself.

“BLESS YOU!!” The audience yelled mostly in unison.

“Fuck!” He shouted into the microphone, “Thank you. Sorry, I’m just pissed that I can’t give you guys a great show. Truth be told, I feel like shit.”

The audience “awww’ed” as he turned around to shoot the guys a look they’d discussed prior.

“Give me a second to blow my nose. When I come back we’ll restart the song and then I think we’re going to be done for the night. I’m so so sorry guys. We’ll reschedule ASAP and make sure you get hooked up.”

The other guys made playful banter with the audiences while Eddie walked off stage to grab some tissues from Steve, who was waiting in the wing.

When he got back, Eddie unhooked the microphone from the stand and walked to the front of the stage, sitting down right at the edge with his legs dangling off the side.

“You guys alright if I sit down for this one?”

There was some cheering. Gareth started the song up again with his kick drum, Tim and Jeff adding on while Eddie tried his best to sing. There was no denying that his voice was going too. God this had to be on the records as one of his worst performances, surely.

***

Back on the tour bus after showering, Eddie was laying in his bunk, arm draped over his face.

Despite making it through a good 3/4 of the show, the frontman was kicking himself for having to end it early at all.

“Hey man check your Twitter.”

God damn Gareth for interrupting his self pity session.

“Gareth I’m really not in the fucking mood to hear people complain-”

“No man just… check it. Please.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and reached over for his phone, entering the passcode - his and Steve’s anniversary - and opening Twitter.

He was fully expecting backlash. He was expecting #CancelEddieMunson to be trending and a plethora of complaints and refund requests send to him and the guys. Instead what he found was an incredible wave of comfort and support from his fans and friends.

@MsMunson - Really hope you feel better and get some rest, @ eddiethebanished, but on the off chance you see this, here’s a thread of everything we live about you!

@CorrodedCoffinFanHQ - All of CC are getting over being sick, Eddie having it most recently. Glad they’re taking some time to rest and recover! They deserve it.

@GarethsGorl2218 - Eddie Munson is a real trooper for putting on tonight’s show for us! Thank you Eddie, we love you!!! ❤️

The long haired man was at a loss for words as he started at his phone, blinking in slight disbelief.

“They love you dude.” Jeff smirked.

“They all just want you to feel better.” Tim added, patting Eddie on the arm as he made his way towards his own bunk.

“I thought they’d be mad at me…” he mumbled to no one in particular.

“Don’t worry about that dude. They weren’t mad when us three were sick right? Don’t think too highly of yourself, you’re just like the rest of us.” Gareth playfully punched Eddie’s arm as he teased. “Get some rest, loser.”

Eddie chuckled and rubbed at his nose. “Goodnight boys!”

He drew the curtain to his personal bunk and turned off the light, rolling over. As he pulled the blanket up to his chin, he thought about how lucky he was to have the best fans in the world.