#this was actually supposed to be bigger but. a huge chunk of them are actually set up to take advantage of twitter autocrop.

[vampirerite]

CURATION OF SOME OF MY INCREDIBLY NORMAL ARJUNA ICONS // Baseball Icons

[msnihilist]

Headcanons for my ideal post-canon dynamic (that I just now thought up while in the shower):

Timmy becomes a fairy (shh don't ask how, it's not important)

Because he was a human, he's significantly bigger than most fairies. He can make himself smaller via shape shifting but usually prefers to just be in his default form, which is ~18 years old, physically. He's got the tiny wings and crown, though :) Those don't scale up.

He has his own place kind of on the outskirts of Fairy World. He doesn't spend a lot of time at home, so he doesn't care what it looks like/where it is. When he is in Fairy World, he's usually at Wanda and Cosmo's place, anyway.

Poof being all "my big brother will beat you up" if he gets picked on by other fairies, and Timmy shows up just absolutely towering over them, haha (he wouldn't actually, but he and Poof always get a kick out of the look on fairies faces when they see him)

He is not anywhere close to being as big as Jorgen, though.

Speaking of Jorgen, he gave Timmy a job! No, really. It was supposed to be an unpleasant job as a sort of jab at Timmy, and because Jorgen is annoyed that he became a fairy in the first place.

Basically, Timmy's job is to enforce Da Rules. He gets paged about godkids making rule-breaking wishes and has to go put a stop to it, much like Jorgen does in canon. This frees up a huge chunk of Jorgen's time for actually rewriting some of Da Rules themselves and otherwise keeping up with Fairy World.

Jorgen expected Timmy to quit within a week, but he's actually good at this job! He likes seeing the other godkids, and Timmy has so many stories of his own that they love seeing him, too. The stories double as lessons — don't make the same mistakes that Timmy did, folks, otherwise you might end up rewriting reality as you know it! This "scared straight" tactic works much better with actual examples instead of Jorgen's big muscles.

Timmy's job means that he gets to be "in the field," so to speak, and occasionally will run into Cosmo and Wanda! It's not their fault that their godkids always seem to be troublemakers... (And, okay, maybe Cosmo sometimes encourages dumb wishes just so Timmy will have to come down and fix it, even though Wanda tells him not to, but Jorgen can't prove that!!)

Wanda and Cosmo have two sons, that's it, that's the post :)

[nalyra-dreaming]

Oh I love these:

Jacob Anderson

On Sam Reid's performance as dream Lestat: "I noticed after we did a few scenes together with that dynamic, I would just notice Sam copying me. I would have to be like, 'OK, he's studying the way that I stand or the way that I say things. It's the story. It's what's supposed to be happening.' But occasionally I was like, 'I don't do that!' Now I've seen the season, and I'm like, 'It's genius.' I'm looking forward to seeing what Sam says about playing Louis, essentially. It's Lestat as Louis remembers him, filtered through the things that Louis doesn't want to say, and can't say. And maybe the things that Louis is embarrassed or ashamed about, Lestat just says it."

Sam Reid

On Lestat and Armand's relationship: "They have a very, very, very messy relationship. I think a big part of why Lestat didn't want to go back to France, in Season 1, when they were in New Orleans, is because he doesn't want to run into Armand. He doesn't want to see Armand. He's got a very, very complex relationship with him. It's not like he's like, "Ugh, Armand!" [Disgusted noise] It's like, "Ugh." [Exasperated noise] He's not twisty, turny, thinking about Armand every single day or whatever. He's like, "Ugh, I just would rather… Yeah, I don't want him around." But when he does the flick of his wrist when he thinks about Armand, he's also flicking a huge chunk of his life away."

Delainey Hayles

On Louis and Claudia's relationship: "The book became like my Bible in a way, where I was able to look back and look at how Anne Rice describes Claudia. And I was taking into consideration that it's been her and Louis for a very long time. As a child, you absorb your surroundings. Claudia has spent a lot of time with Louis over the past couple of years. So I think, in a way, his empathy kind of rubs off on her."

Assad Zaman

On the show's memory theme: "I personally think often we equate — if the memory's a little bit inaccurate, then the feeling isn't real. [But] if you think back to our childhood, we elaborate on the stories in our heads so much, and often the tiniest things, moments that meant a lot to us become bigger as we remember them. Time slows down or speeds up, and people become larger or smaller in our heads depending on how they made us feel in that time. I think [there's] a lot of that this season — when we go into Paris, I think that's where the performative nature comes into it. We get to really embrace those emotions. The love between Louis and Armand, the romance, is one of the most beautiful parts of it, the way it starts."

Eric Bogosian

On his experience working on the show: "To be working on such complex material and be asked to do things that I haven't done before, and to be working with such amazing creative team — I mean... I've been around. I'm not speaking from, like, this is my second show or my third show. This is like, my 35th show, or 60th, or something. So when I say that Rolin [Jones] is amazing, Hannah [Moscovitch] is amazing — that's our writing team — and that Jacob and Assad are amazing — these guys are very generous. And I think a lot about [how] when you go into deep work as an actor, you have to feel safe. I have definitely not been safe [in the past], especially with men. Men can be real jerks on set, and the audience can't see it, because we have to do our job. But if you're with a bully star, it's hard to go to where you need to go to. And Jacob, who's mainly who I'm working with, he's a very loving guy. Maybe people don't want to know this about him. Maybe I'm only supposed to say things like, 'In real life he's actually a vampire,' but in real life, he's actually a real, very sweet man. Very human."

Ben Daniels

On Santiago's approach to the theater: "It's like people trolling on Twitter. It's like, they're hidden behind the screen, but his screen is the fact that he's pretending to be a human. And he sort of is getting those mortals by the scruff of the neck and saying, 'Look at yourselves. Look how ridiculous and pathetic you are.' But they lap it up because they think it's a show."

THERE'S MORE!

[effy-writes]

Addict (Blitz x Reader)

15: Exes and Oohs: Fucking Crack House

@d4rkprdise

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loona sat at her desk and immediately got on her phone. Moxxie came in and sat across from you and greeted.

"You know, I checked the scale today. And it said I lost two pounds this week."

Loona looks at Moxxie, then rolls her eyes back to her phone, much to his annoyance.

"I. am not. FAT! Y/n do you think i'm fat?"

"No, you're the skinniest one out of all of us."

"Was that sarcasm?" He frowned.

You chuckled, "No. I'm being serious. Loona and Blitz are assholes." You whispered.

You and Moxxie jerked when the front door got kicked down by Millie. She stomps around, mumbling angrily.

"Ooh! Such a fucking asshole! That little motherfucker. I just wanna take my finger up and shove it up his fuckin' little thing!"

"Millie, honey. Is everything okay?"

Millie hisses back at Moxxie in response, disturbing him even more, but she manages to calm down.

"Yeah. Just...bumped into an ex." Her tail twitches.

"Oh! Oh..." Moxxie frowned.

"He just kept going on about how he has money now, "a bright future," and "a bigger cock"."

"Wait, what?"

You busted out laughing, "Sorry for laughing, it's just your reaction was so fucking funny to me."

"Well I'm glad I can make you laugh." He said with sarcasm.

"Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it! I just need to—" Millie punched a filing cabinet, papers went everywhere.

"What the fuck is all this noise? I got a client!" Blitz yelled out.

"Sorry, sir. I'll get this all cleaned up. Actually Y/n you do it, aren't you still the janitor?"

"Technically, yeah."

You gathered the papers and looked at it closely. "Blitz?" You laughed. It was a photo of two imps making out in a horse costume.

Moxxie picks another stack of paper. "This one has a cutout picture of Y/n's face on the horse."

"Wait what?" You took the paper and looked at it. "Blitz!"

"Uh, research! For science! Just put it back correctly, okay? Alphabetize them." Blitz went back to his office.

You and Moxxie looked at the remaining of the pile. "This is mostly porn. And horses." You chuckled.

"And horse porn." Moxxie cocked his head.

Blitz ran out of the office and looked through the window.

"What the fuck is that?" Blitz yelled out.

A helicopter shoots a grappling hook under the window, breaking the wall. Loona looks on without a word.

"Satan's ass crack! Enough with the wall shit, we have a door!" He groaned.

With the damaged walls, a wind gusts through the office and distributes all the photos Blitz had been saving across the town.

"My research!" He whined, "Dammit Y/n and Mox, you were supposed to put them up!"

"Sorry sir, we were just so...intrigued." Moxxie glanced at you, both snickering.

The helicopter approaches Blitz, creating a bridge for them to walk upon, and the pilot steps out.

"I.M.P? Right this way, please!"

"Uh, sir?" Moxxie points a gun toward the pilot, while Millie holds her knife out.

You grabbed your metal rod and held it like a baseball bat, "What's going on?"

"Now, don't worry! It's just some fancy shmuck from Greed wanting to do business with us."

"Uh, sir? I don't think this is a good idea." Moxxie said with hesitation.

"It'll be fine. Now, get your asses moving." Blitz pushes M&M into the helicopter, grabbing your hand and helped you into the helicopter. Why is he nice to me all of a sudden? You sat beside of Blitz and buckled yourself, holding onto the seat for extra caution.

The pilot proceeded to take out a huge chunk of a wall as they fly off.

The four imps looked at the scenery, flying over an under construction of Loo Loo Land, all the way to "Notamafia Town."

"I hate this place." Moxxie said with a disdained groan.

"Oh, yeah. This is your old stomping ground, isn't it, Mox?"

"Yeah, unfortunately. I grew up just over there, swore I'd never come back, and— uh uh— what— what, where are we going?" He panicked. The helicopter starts changing direction, as Moxxie grows more and more anxious.

"What— Blitz, who did you say this meeting was with?"

"I'm not sure, just some rich somebody or other who wants to do biz at his place."

"How come the client didn't come to I.M.P?" You questioned.

Blitz shrugged, "Beats me."

As the helicopter lands, Moxxie became more and more stressed out.

"Oh, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!"

"Moxxie calm down." You said as you were the first one to step out.

Moxxie shivers in place, Blitz pushed him out of the helicopter following Millie.

The client had his arms open, "There's my boy! Get over here and give your daddy a hug!"

"Daddy?" The three imps questioned.

"I only let Moxxie call me that. Unless you pay me!"

"It is uncanny. You two do look a like." You acknowledge, glancing from Moxxie’s dad and Moxxie.

"Guys, um," Moxxie cleared his throat, "this is my father, Crimson. Sir, this is my boss, Blitz, Blitz's maybe girlfriend, Y/n? And my—

"—Millie! I'm his wife!"

Millie takes her hand to greet Crimson.

You whispered to Blitz, "Maybe girlfriend?"

"He's still tweaking whenever we all were hallucinating."

You didn't really mind being called Blitz's "Maybe girlfriend," You don’t even know what you guys are.

"And what a beautiful wife you are. Mox, where have you been hiding this pretty little thang?"

"Oh, I'm sure he would've introduced us.. eventually."

"Oh, I'm sure. You got to be Blitz, with the silent "o", right? I've heard a lot of good things about you and your work."

"Really?" He turned to Moxxie, "What kind of shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I'll fucking kill you Moxxie, don't you fucking test me!"

"No, no! From all over. Looks like you're building a bit of a name for yourself here, kid."

"Well, I guess it's about time folks recognized my talent." He bragged. Crimson turned his attention towards you.

"I haven't heard much from you. What brought you to work as an assassin?"

You cleared your throat. "Originally I was a janitor but I was forced to get promoted...sorta."

"Well I kill-...fired my last maid. So I may need your help." He winked. "Well, I hope you're all hungry. We put together a fabulous dinner for you."

"Did he just say killed?" You whispered to Blitz.

Everyone followed Crimson into his house. Millie and Moxxie were speaking to themselves that you couldn't make out of.

I.M.P. sat in the living room. You scanned the place, feeling weird about being in here. The environment looked like the one you were at after you ran away from the circus. Even though the original house you stayed at was much smaller, it was just the same eerie feeling that you felt.

Crimson poured you and Blitz a drink. "So, Blitz, ya always been a hitman?"

"No, no, not always. Yeah, I was in the circus for a long time. That's how I met Y/n."

"Show business! Good money in that. And I wouldn't have ever known you were in the circus? Why did you quit to be a janitor?"

"Ah you know...life?" You and Blitz took a quick exchange.

Moxxie turned to Blitz, "What are we doing here?"

"Moxxie, I raised you better than that. Ya know there's no business before dinner. Besides, we're still waitin' on one more."

Seconds later the door got kicked opened. Everyone turned their heads in surprise.

"Woo-hoo-hoo, what is up, party people?!"

"Chaz?!" Millie, Moxxie and you shouted.

“Wait, what?" M&M looked at each other, and then at you.

"You know him?" Moxxie asked the two.

Millie groaned. "You remember that "ex" I was talking about?"

"Chaz was in the same house I was in whenever I ran away and lived with drug addicts."

"You lived with CHAZ?" M&M yelled out.

"Oh yeah, those were the good times." He smiled in remembrance. "Still taking meth?"

Before you could answer Chaz walks over and hugs Moxxie and Millie.

"Looks like I got two big sex reunions today. How lucky am I?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?! There's someone who's fucked both of you?! Did you fuck him too?" Blitz shouted, turning to you.

"Chill out little man, Y/n and I didn't do anything. Well if you count the house orgy. But we didn't fuck."

"I swear on my life he's being honest." You threw your hands up in defense.

"You were in an ORGY?" Everyone shouted other than Crimson and Chaz.

"Holy shit stop yelling!" You yelled.

"More like multiple Orgys. I sure do miss those days." Chaz smiled.

"Okay let's get back to you personally fucking M&M." Blitz quickly changed the subject. He doesn't want to know about your past in the drug house. It hurts him, and the more he knows the more hurt he is.

Moxxie pushes Chaz's arms off of himself and Millie.

"We dated a long time ago."

"But, I still remember it like it was yesterday. You, a fledgling mafioso! Me, the dashing and extremely sexy muscle! It was like...it was written in the stars." He said fondly

"Ha! Moxxie in the mafia, that's fucking rich." Blitz looked around the place before the look of realization settled in. "Oh shiiit."

"You've never told me this before." Millie put her hand on Moxxie's knee.

"I-I don't really like to talk about this part of my life. But, I first saw Chaz at my induction."

"Oh boy." You mumbled. You never knew about Chaz' life, and he never knew yours. Occasionally you two would snort coke together and be cracked out, but nothing too serious happened. You recollected that he was trying to fuck you many times, but luckily you were able to push him away. He wasn't at the house for too long. Maybe about 3 months until he left.

The maid came out, interrupting this story. "Dinner is served."

Everyone got seated in the dining room. Millie was viciously cutting through her food and glaring at Chaz, but the room is completely silent.

"So, this is aggressively uncomfortable." Blitz whispered to you.

"I suppose you want to know why you're here." Crimson cut up his steak.

"Yeah, so what gives? You know we kill people on Earth, right? We don't usually do contracts for locals. So, if you want to do business with us, you got to—"

"I don't want to do business with I-M-P, I want to do business with Moxxie."

Moxxie stopped cutting his food, "ME?!"

"Yeah, kid. I only summoned I.M.P to be sure you'd show. Because, well, we're bringing Chaz into the family."

Chaz smirks while raising his eyebrows.

"What? Since when can just anyone join the family?" Moxxie glared.

"Come on, Mox. You had responsibilities here that I had to pick up once you left. Now Chaz is going to lighten the load." Crimson with bitter in his voice.

"Wait, I thought you always hated his guts."

Chaz looked confused. "Well, I didn't exactly 'hated' him."

"You called him a "friendless horse-fucker" and said he lived a "sissy lifestyle"." Moxxie cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well, I was wrong. You've been gone a long time, Mox. A man can change. And so has Chaz."

"Yeah. I've grown, matured, and, recently, came into millions! But, y'know, mostly the "mature" thing."

"I assume this was after the living at the drug house?" Blitz pointed his fork to Chaz.

"Way after."

You gave an exaggerated sigh. You did not want to get reminded of living at that house. One of the worst years for you.

"Oh, okay, okay. So the "horseless friend-fucker" over here gets a little moolah after living at a DRUG house and suddenly, it's worth wasting our time over?"

"Well, I'm the whole "package" if you know what I mean." He smirked. "I got a big dick."

"But, what does any of this have to do with Moxxie?" Millie said in annoyance.

"There's going to be a ceremony tomorrow. Moxxie here is going to officially release his holdings in the organization. Then you can get back to ignoring your family to your heart's content." Crimson glared at his son.

Millie stood up, "Maybe he wouldn't "ignore his family" if they didn't force him to rub elbows with a no-good, shark-toothed FUCK FACE!" Millie points her knife to Chaz' neck.

"Ey, look. Everybody, relax. I know tensions have been high tonight. Say, why don't you stay here and get some rest? We'll have the ceremony tomorrow and then you will be free to leave. I have your rooms all prepared."

You whispered to Blitz, "We have to spend the night here?"

"Don't even think about getting drugs from Chaz." He gritted his teeth.

"Jeez I'm not."

I.M.P and Chaz left the room, but Moxxie got called over by his dad.

Millie stood beside of you in the living room.

"You okay?" You put your hand on Millie's shoulder.

"Yeah...just worried about Moxxie. That's all." She hugged herself.

You got cut off by the dildos bouncing from the walls. "What the fuck?"

"Hah! There're dicks on the walls! Oh, that is fucking hilarious!"

"You should take one home, Blitz." You joked.

"Mm, yeah. Guess it wouldn't hurt for you to peg me again."

"What." Millie and Chaz said in monotoned.

"You have no room to talk Mills, you peg Moxxie!" Blitz huffed.

"Not judgin, I just don't know what goes on in y'all's house." She put her hands up in defense.

Chaz walked closer to you "I wish you would peg me back at that house-"

Blitz kicked Chaz's groin. "Don't ever mention that fucking house again." He gritted his teeth. Blitz looked over at you, "Same goes for you."

"Why are you so upset about the house? You knew about it before."

"Yeah, well that's before I..." He stopped himself.

"Before what?" You said sternly, crossing your arms.

Moxxie walked into the hallway that everyone was at. He slouched and dragged his feet. "Hey, honey." He hugged Millie. The two made their way to a room but the butler motioned Moxxie to be in a separate room.

"Crimson wants you all to stay in separate rooms."

"Including me and Blitz? We're not together."

The butler raised an eyebrow, mentally saying, "You sure?"

"We're not." You said again. The butler pointed to a separate room.

You went inside the room and locked the door, plopping yourself onto the bed, laying starfish. You overheard music playing from Moxxie's room.

After what it seems like 2 minutes, you overheard Chaz and Millie talking before her door shut, and then you heard a knock from your door. You didn't want to see Chaz, he didn't do anything wrong, it's just the memories that he brings overwhelms you with urges.

I could mooch off of some drugs..if he has any.

You shook those thoughts away. Even if you did get drugs, Blitz will find out either by Chaz, or by you, and you didn't want to make him mad.

Eventually the knocking stopped and heard another knock on Blitz's door. You overheard the two talking, and how Chaz is wanting to fuck him.

You sat up from your bed once you heard the moans between the two. Oh this mother fucker.

Then the realization hits you. You have actual feelings for Blitz. You didnt know when this started to happen, but it developed so slow that you didn't realize until Blitz was having sex with Chaz.

Sure you were sorta jealous when it came to Stolas, but you know Blitz had to do it. Besides, you had to come along as well, so it didn't affect you too much.

You pondered if it happened during that time they had to go to LA and was being bitchy about Blitz and Stolas. You were too caught up in drugs, being clean, doing that monthly transaction fucking, that you didn't catch on that you had feelings for him. You want to date him.

You kept tossing and turning in bed. Frustrated you decided to get some fresh air. As you opened your door you saw Blitz with his underwear on and Chaz's jacket.

"Holy shit you scared me." You closed the door behind. "What are you doing?"

"Where were you going?"

"Needed fresh air. Couldn't sleep."  You hugged yourself.

Blitz was going to tease you about him sleeping with Chaz, but decided now wasn't the best time. "Come with me, I need to check Chaz's car."

"Why?"

He grabbed your hand and led you out the mansion door. "Blitz?"

"I have a bad feeling about him."

"No shit."

Blitz stopped in his tracks and turned towards you. "What does that mean?"

"Dude...he was in a crack house with me. No guy becomes a millionaire after living in a crack house. Trust."

"Stop talking about the crack house." He opened Chaz's door.

"Why? I barely talk about it. I only brought it up because I saw Chaz for the first time in years."

Blitz continued to search his car, looking into the dashboard. It was an eviction notice, showing that Chaz is indeed not a millionaire and lied to Crimson.

"Shit Y/n, guess you're right." Blitz showed you the eviction notice card before opening up the trunk. It was some junk and a To-Do list, which consisted of marrying Moxxie to inherit fortune.

You gasped as you felt a syringe in your neck, alerting Blitz. Before he could fight back Chaz stuck another syringe in his neck. Blitz collapsing in the trunk.

Chaz picked you up and threw you in the trunk as well, closing it shut.

~~~

You groaned as you woke up. "Where am I?" You laughed. "Oh shit...Im high. Fuck, Blitz is going to be so mad at me."

"We got tranquilized." He slurred.

"Blitz!" You rolled over and hugged him. "I missed you." You smiled.

Blitz chuckled, "You’re a lot nicer when you’re tranquilized."

You ignored him, "Are we in a trunk?"

"Chaz's."

You groaned. You would mention about how Blitz fucked him and youre pissed off, but you decided now is not the time.

Hours had passed and the drugs are slowly wearing off. "I want to get out of here." You whined. "I have to pee."

"You could pee on me."

"What are you not into?" You yawned.

The trunk door opened, the sudden light shined into your eyes, and once it got adjusted to the light you and Blitz saw Millie and two other guys.

"Oh, Millie, you found us. Who's your friend?" Blitz groggily said.

"Friend?"

She senses two goons attempting to grab her. She stabs one with her knife and beheads the other using the trunk door. She helped the drugged up two out of the van.

"What happened?"

"Chaz drugged us." You said smiling, feeling good that you got a fix. Even if it isn't your drug of choice.

"And that seductive dick-hole is trying to marry Moxxie, and he's not even rich!"

Millie's jaw dropped. "Moxxie!"

Millie and the two drugged up imps runs to the front door. Suddenly metal shutters block off all doors and exit the house, including the front gate to the estate.

"Shit!" Millie ran her hands through her hair. You rubbed Millie's back in a soothing manner. "We can find a way in. I found a metal rod." You smirked, holding up a hoe.

"That's a hoe, Y/n." Blitz rolled his eyes.

You gasped, "No the fuck I'm not. You're the one who fucked Chaz!"

"Blitz!" Millie wide-eyed.

"Didn't think you would care! I don't have feelings for that dickhead."

"Then why did you do it?" Your voice broke.

"I think we should talk about this later," Millie pulled you away from Blitz. "We need to destroy the wedding. I'm worried about Moxxie."

Blitz gave in, "We'll help you save your limp dick husband." He rolled his eyes.

"Everything's locked down! How are we gonna get in?" Millie panicked.

Blitz feels around the jacket until he finds Chaz's car keys. He grabs you and Millie and pulled the two into Chaz's car.

You sat in the back seat, sulking almost. You hated yourself for getting jealous over a small thing. It's just because I'm high on...whatever this is.

"Buckle up,...we're doing a Shrek!"

The car backpedals and crashes through the wall to the wedding ceremony.

Blitz stepped out of the car, still dazed from the drugs. "I object!" Blitz faceplanted on the ground. You got out of the car and helped him up, both hanging onto each other to prevent themselves from falling.

"God I hate downers. This is why I prefer stimulants."

Millie steps out of the car, "You want my husband? You're going to have to fucking kill me!"

You and Blitz watched as Millie fought all of the other goons.

"I don't have my metal pole." You frowned.

"Why do you obsess over that thing? A gun is much easier to carry with you. Besides everytime you drop it I always have to replace it."

"Because you gave the first one to me."

"Is that why?"

You giggled, "Yeah."

Blitz picked up a metal chair and handed it you. "There ya go."

"It's not the same, but thanks." You snickered, then running towards a goon. You hit his head with the chair and knocked him unconscious. "Yeah!" You screamed out before losing your balance and falling.

Millie sighed in annoyance and picked you up, gently throwing you over to where Blitz is.

"Did I win?" You mumbled, curling into a fetal position.

"Sorta." Blitz tried to pick you up but refused.

"I'm tired."

"Yeah well, you better get up before you get impelled."

"No." You mumbled. Blitz let out an excessive sigh and stood in front of you so you wouldn't get hurt.

All of the goons ended up severely hurt or just dead.

Millie picked up Moxxie and hoisted him over her shoulder.

"This ass is MINE!" She slaps Moxxie's ass.

"By the way, y'all should probably know, Chaz isn't even rich, okay? Check his car, he just played you like a fucking rube! Later, losers!" Blitz dragged you since you were too stubborn to get up.

~~

Your eyes fluttered involuntarily while waking up because of the light. You slowly sat up and looked around, sitting on a couch in the I.M.P room.

"Since when did we have a couch?" You yawned.

"We always had one." Blitz propped his feet onto the meeting table.

"Huh..never realized." You laid back down.

Blitz looked at you confused, "You sat down on it multiple times...you sat down on it today."

"Sir, Millie and I are going to go home now. We had a pretty eventful day."

"Yeah yeah go ahead whatever." Blitz shooed them away. "Loonie you can go ahead and go home. Im going to stay here just in case if we get more clients calling."

"Whatever." She got up from her desk and left. Blitz got up and sat on the couch next to you.

"Sorry for getting mad at you for bringing up that crack house."

"It's okay, I understand."

"If you want, you can talk to me about it. Wouldn't hurt to know your life before you came knocking on my door." He chuckled.

"It's not a pretty story. But..maybe some day." You gave him a reassuring smile.

"Anddd don't worry about me and Chaz. It was impulsive."

"It's whatever."

"Are you mad?"

"Eh, a little. But like I said, it's whatever."

"FYI, he's bad." Blitz trailed his finger from your shoulder to your hand, "But I know somebody who's great at it." He said in a sing song voice.

You snickered, "Want to do it on this mysterious couch that appeared out of nowhere?"

"I'm telling you it's been here since the beginning."

"Was that a yes?"

"Hard yes."

[steddie-island]

Day 12 of @steddieholidaydrabbles : Only one bed WC: 922 | Rating: M (language, some fade to black sex) | CW: Slight angst with a happy ending Read the full list of tags on ao3

Letting Joyce host Christmas hadn’t seemed like such a bad idea at first. After all, she had the most room, and a big chunk of the group would be there for Christmas anyway– Nancy and Jonathan, and Mike would be there for Will and El. Joyce hosting just made sense, and truthfully, it sounded like a good idea. 

That was before Eddie was actually there, though. One look and  suddenly this was a very, very bad idea. It was the worst idea that anyone had ever had in the history of ideas. 

Eddie, with his big hair and his bigger personality, with his rings and that smile that still turned Steve into a puddle. Fuck, Steve missed him, and it was so much worse actually seeing him again after so long.

He wanted to cry. Or puke. Maybe a mixture of the two things. 

As per usual, Robin saved him; one look and his soulmate  knew  just what he was feeling, knew she needed to get him right out of there. Joyce had a list of shit she needed done, anyway, and Steve was never happier than when he got to be useful. 

Robin directed him where to hang lights, where to move the cars, “No no dingus, Rudolph doesn’t go there, Joyce wants him here!”

By the time they got through all of it, Steve was just exhausted enough to eat and then fall into bed. 

Until the bed assignments were being passed out, and Joyce directed both him and Eddie to the guest room at the end of the hall. 

“Robin and the girls will be in the living room. The boys can use Will’s room, Jonathan and Nancy are using Jon’s old room. You and Eddie can have the guest room!” she’d said, like they were doing her a huge favor by sharing. 

Steve wanted to argue. He wanted to cry. He wanted to offer to sleep in the fucking car instead, or beg to switch with Robin, but Joyce just looked so hopeful– everything was going so well! How was he supposed to argue with her?

So he looked at Eddie, read the expression on his face, and nodded. “That’s perfect.” He could get a hotel room tomorrow or something, there was no need to argue tonight. 

It was off to bed after that– like everyone was suddenly just too tired to be awake for another second longer. 

So he and Eddie really had no choice but to say their goodnights, to head to the back room. He kept his back to Eddie as they both changed into their pajamas. 

“I can take the floor.” It was the first thing either of them had said to each other since the breakup. Steve ached, just hearing Eddie’s voice and knowing those words were meant for him. “Don’t be stupid, we both know you’ve got a bad back,” Steve said. “I can take the floor, Ed. It’s– just for a night.” Eddie looked like he was about to argue, or maybe to ask a question. His jaw worked as he turned the blankets down on one side of the bed. 

“We’ve slept together before,” he said instead. Those beautiful lips curled into a teasing smile. “We’ve done a lot more than that. I think we can share a bed for one night.” Steve thought about it– it was the mature thing, and he really didn’t want to sleep on the floor, not after all the work he’d put in that day. 

“Okay.” He nodded, returned Eddie’s small smile, and turned down his side of the bed, too. “Yeah. We can do that.” 

The lights were turned off, and they both climbed beneath the blankets. It was dark, quiet. Steve drifted off, despite the fact that Eddie was barely six inches away from him. 

He woke up to the warm weight of an arm around his waist, of warm breath against the back of his neck. 

He would’ve thought Eddie was sleeping, if not for the way those lips were pressing so tenderly against his skin. A warm hand was splayed over his stomach, just above his boxers. “I miss you.” Eddie whispered it into his neck, into his hair, and oh, there was no way he was asleep. Not unless he had a new habit of sleep talking, of sleep grinding– okay, maybe that wasn’t so new. Steve could feel him, hot and thick and hard against his ass. His breath caught in his throat, and then Eddie’s mouth was sucking down below his ear. 

“Fucking miss you, Stevie. Miss you so goddamn much.” Steve whimpered, nodded, tipped his head to give Eddie better access. He missed this, too. No one– no one– touched him the way Eddie did. 

And touch Eddie did. His fingers slipped beneath the waistband of Steve’s boxers. He stroked with slow, sure movements, and his hips worked against Steve’s ass with that same torturous rhythm. 

When they came it was together. Steve rolled, wrapped an arm around Eddie’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. “I miss you, too,” he finally said. “I’m sorry.” Eddie nodded, kissed him again. Steve had expected a desperate reunion, if there was a reunion, but that wasn’t what he got. He got sweetness, and tenderness. He got Eddie whispering promises against his chest, his stomach, his thighs as they made up again, and again. 

And again.

When they were sated, while Eddie washed his hair, Steve thought that maybe Joyce hosting wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

[forwhump]

a/n; a radio station in my town took out a massive highway billboard that’s just a huge sign that says LONG LIVE COWGIRLS & I pass it on my way to & from work everyday & GUESS what it makes me think of LOL

anyway I can’t see any of the asks I’ve ever gotten for some reason so I can’t remember if somebody actually asked for more wren pov or if I was just scrolling the folder for fun but regardless here’s some more wren pov <3 a horrible little drabble, as a treat :’)

tw/cw: rape, noncon, transphobia, misgendering, sexual violence, captivity, psychological torture, medical torture, dehumanization

military whump, creepy whumper, mentions of living weapons, sexual servitude

There was a time, not even all that long ago, that Wren’s biggest fear was standing too close to the microwave while it was being used because he had a thing about it blowing up in his face. He would never stand directly under street lamps or traffic lights on the off chance they would fall and crush him. He didn’t like to drive behind logging trucks. He wasn’t a good Texan, and he’d always been a little afraid of horses.

Seems like such a fuckin’ joke now.

It’s pretty pathetic, actually, and Wren’s already crying but he sobs with this, too, muffled by the strip of lacy material they’d gagged him with. It wasn’t even all that long ago, and still, it’s hard to think back on a version of himself that thought the very worst thing that could happen to him was a microwave blowing up in his face.

He doesn’t even think I want to go home anymore. He doesn’t know how long it’s been. He thinks, I want to go back to bed. He thinks, I want Silas.

But he’s in bed, where he’s supposed to be safe, and Silas had been shot so many times in the face that even Medic couldn’t help him. He’d been handed over to the biomedical surgeons so they could try and salvage his brain. Nobody was sure if they could.

Point, of course, is delighted. All of his men are. Silas likes them the least, and there’s less of a threat to their lives when he’s dead. They can relax. They can play with Wren, and they don’t have to worry about his guard dog.

This time, they might not have to worry about him again. They’re celebrating. They use Wren’s body to do it, as they always do.

For the first time in a long time, Wren thinks, I want to go home. He sobs again.

As a kid, he’d been really scared of quicksand and of snakes crawling out of the drain to bite him. As an adult, he’s gagged as he’s gang raped in his prison cell by military guards. As a teenager, a teenage beauty queen in Texas, he had started to transition and that had come with a lot of real world fears that never came close to touching on this. It’s hard to imagine anything worse than this.

Silas is dead, and there’s a part of Wren that resents him for leaving him here but there’s a bigger part that’s desperate to join him. He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t wanna do this. He’s so dehydrated the tears had stopped hours ago but he hasn’t stopped crying the whole time. Sometimes he wishes he could. He wishes he could get angry and stay angry and not give them the satisfaction. Sometimes, most of the time, Wren is weak and pathetic and scared and it hurts, it always hurts, and he can’t help it. He cries. He gives them the satisfaction. He wants to be where Silas is.

Point watches from the chair he had pulled up from Wren’s desk. Vineyard is behind him, chest against Wren’s back, holding him in his lap with a broad arm curled around his waist. His other hand is curled around Wren’s throat, not hard enough to cut off his air, not completely, but hard enough that it hurts. Hard enough that Wren will bruise around the throat in the shape of his handprint.

Hurt is between the spread of his thighs, pulling chunks of flesh out of his hips with his fingernails, frantic and feral to Vineyard’s calm and dominating. It’s overwhelming and they’re everywhere, they’re on all sides they’re in all of his senses they’re inside him, and they’re both so much bigger than him and Wren has never felt so small and helpless in his life. It makes his chest feel tight, it makes his chest feel the tightest it has ever felt and he can’t take a full breath in but he still finds it in himself to sob, somehow.

It’s a familiar sort of panic, thinking of Silas in times like this, but this time it snags on the cracks of that tightness in his chest and start to break it open, to fill him with something so desperately empty it has him gasping for breath.

Silas is dead. And what does that mean, really, when Silas is Silas, when Silas dies all the time? But Silas hadn’t just died, Silas had been slaughtered, and it wasn’t a matter of trying to bring him back from the dead but of trying to salvage his brain. To salvage it. He had died so completely Point felt comfortable celebrating the loss of him, and Point was never comfortable when Silas was involved.

I want Silas, Wren thinks, and that’s familiar, but Silas doesn’t come to his rescue this time. Wren has to fend for himself, and he’s so fuckin’ tired. He’s so tired. He wants to go where Silas went, and it’s not fuckin’ fair because he also just wants to die and he doesn’t even get that much. He’s wanted to die for longer than Silas can remember and Silas, of all people, beat him to it? Fuckin’ Silas?

He screams and he doesn’t know why, it’s too hard to narrow it down. Maybe a bit of everything. It’s muffled, anyway, by the gag, and it’s answered only with the rumble of Vineyard’s laughter against his back.

Silas had somehow brought out in him again that idiot kid that was afraid of drains because snakes might be hiding in there, waiting for him. Silas had made him stupid. He’d promised Wren he’d get him and he’d die to do it, if that’s what it took. Wren had made him promise right back not to die, that he had to come with him — he’d hardly doubted that Silas would get him out of here, away from all this. He had a resolve that was inhuman and a strength that outweighed it. He never said it like he was gonna try, he said it as a matter of fact, and Wren had believed him. He’d thought about introducing Silas to his mother — what would she say? She’d been a bit of a judgemental bitch when she was Wren’s mother, but how much had she changed?

Would she even want to see him? What would she think of him now? What would she think if she knew?

Point leans in close, too close, and Wren tries to flinch away but he takes a fistful of his hair and keeps him where he wants him. Wren’s wrists have been tied behind his back so long he hasn’t been able to feel anything but static in his fingers for hours. Point mouths along the line of his jaw, the edge of the gag, and murmurs, “that’s my girl.”

Silas loved him. Silas loved him so completely it killed him. He’d lived and died underground and nobody outside of this place will ever know he’d lived at all, but he had and it had been a life that was short and gruesome and miserable. But he loved Wren so much he died for him, and it’s not fuckin’ fair. How is that any fuckin’ fair? Wren spent a lot of his time reading, and he’d read enough that he knows this is not how this is supposed to go. A love like that is supposed to have a happy ending. A love like that was supposed to save them both.

He sobs and it gets stuck in his throat. Point smiles against his skin. “I’m sorry we had to put your dog down,” he murmurs, just as soft, and the warmth of his breath makes Wren’s skin crawl. “We gave you so many opportunities to be good for us. All you had to do was be a good girl.” Wren tries to turn his face away and Point bites his cheek so hard it makes him cry out. He hiccups out a sob, humiliating, and Point coos against his skin. “Look at you,” he says softly. “How could I stay mad at you?” He kisses Wren’s cheek so gently it gives Wren goosebumps and he sobs again. “You’ll forget all about the freak,” he murmurs. “We’re gonna fuck the memory of that thing right out of you, cowgirl.”

Wren tastes blood and he thinks his cracked lips are finally bleeding. His chest is hitching with trapped sobs but there are still no tears. Hurt groans, long and low and it makes Wren gag under Vineyard’s hand.

He wants to go back to sleep. He wants Silas. He doesn’t want to live like this anymore.

What a privilege to be afraid of the microwave. What a stupid little asshole he’d been.

But he’d been a whole person once, a human being. Somebody with feelings and regulated emotions and irrational fears. He doesn’t know what he is now, not really, but he’s less than human, he knows that much. He isn’t worth nearly as much, either. Nobody even knows he’s here, nobody that’s still alive or that’s not down here with him. Nobody’s coming to his rescue. Nobody’s gonna save him this time. When Wren’s finally allowed to die, he’s gonna die down here, cold and pathetic and worth no more than warm flesh.

It isn’t fair. It’s all so fuckin’ unfair.

He wants to go where Silas went.

[envihellbender]

Huge fat mer octopus man raping a scientist

Rating: Explicit (sex and kink)

Characters: King Hachirō VIII of Kurogata, Doctor Yūki Oniji

Content: monster fucking, non con, underwater species, mer people

—

Doctor Yūki Oniji’s only real crime, as far as he saw it, was curiosity. It was his scientific mind and stubbornness that got him into this mess, as it always did. So much so it was practically a curse. The University warned all of its employees and students to stay on land, preferably not to leave Osaka at all. However, ever since the Kurogata Empire of the ocean had grown right up to the coast, Yūki couldn’t resist the temptation to actually catch a glimpse of the Octopeople. Merpeople were common enough but their Octo-brethren, Yūki had only read about them in books.

He’d spent a great deal of yen to get into the amphibious tunnel, a creation that was supposed to allow those on land and under the ocean to speak and meet peacefully. Now it was a military base for both sides. He’d made it onto the outskirts of what he thought was a village. When he was surrounded by soldiers however he realised his mistake. Now he was being dragged into a gigantic stone palace, the architecture was beautiful - it almost looked like stone made of coral. The ceiling was higher than anything Yūki had seen before, and when he was dragged to the King’s throne the soldiers pulled him through the water with his legs limp and floating behind him, he was not even given the grace to swim. He was only allowed to touch the ground when he was forced down in front of a beast he could never even comprehend.

Yūki knew the Octopeople were bigger than humans, the enforcers who restrained and dragged him into the Palace were twice his height and width. However, King Hachirō made even them appear like dolls rather than humanoids. The bottom half of him was a large mass of rippling, writhing tentacles. There were far more than eight, some were well formed others weren’t, but they were huge - far bigger in length, width, and weight than any others Yūki had seen. They all connected to a deep red body, and whilst their pale suckers were visible, how they connected to the torso was not because the top halves of a good chunk of his tendrils were hidden by a pale pink gut. Yūki couldn’t quite see above it, but he could make it the mass that was King Hanchirō’s abdomen, and two gargantuan hills that must have been breasts. Before Yūki could try to strain to see his face or neck roll, a voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Your Majesty,” a voice said from behind Yūki. “We found him trespassing in the Osaka base. We confiscated some human technology from him. A communication device, and something for taking biological samples. We thought you’d want to sentence him yourself.”

What horrified Yūki the most about King Hachirō was that before he replied his gigantic bloated orange tongue slipped out between his lips - the muscle was covered in sharp teeth in addition to the pointed ones that filled his mouth. Yūki had read about the Octopeople’s tongues but he’d never seen them in person.

“You. Weak little human. What was your intention in my Kingdom?”

“Scientific curiosity,” Yūki shrugged. “Is that a crime here, Your Majesty?” There was an overwhelming silence in the throne room, he was expecting a beating or punishment but it seemed he’d shocked them into silence. The King however responded with a wheezing, booming laugh.

“Hm. In that case scientific curiosity will be your sentence,” King Hachirō responded, his amusement obvious in his voice and the way his tentacles quivered. Yūki wasn’t a fit or athletic man, so he had no chance of escaping the King’s tentacles. They grabbed him before he even knew they existed, he screamed out as he felt two suckers stick to his skin. Normally they were small, so when they stuck to a human they stung just a small amount. However the King’s were so huge that one covered his entire back and the other his front as it twisted around his body. He felt as if he was being stabbed on every single inch of him. He yelled and struggled, the King didn’t seem to care it placed him directly onto the cold, wet mass of adipose that was the beast’s chest. The suckers grabbed onto Yūki’s clothes - a white button up shirt, a pair of khaki slacks, and navy underpants - and tore them from his body. It was the tentacles that held him down, as the Octo-King’s cold fingers began to touch him.

“Hm. Your skin is so fragile. So weak. And your genitalia… How odd. How unseemly,” King Hachirō snorted with laughter. One little finger was easily the size of Yūki’s thigh, and it was this that he felt grabbing at his thighs and groping at his cock. His cold-blooded body caused Yūki to shiver and feel his chest tighten, his prick grew smaller as a result, making the entire process far more humiliating. “I hear some of you can carry our eggs, apparently it’s quite the sight. I was considering getting a human concubine for it. Hm. Does this one have that function?”

“No, I- I don’t,” Yūki stammered. He stole a look at King Hanshirō, and when he saw the gigantic, bloated ring that was once a neck, one that was swallowing up his head with pointed, scaled, ears Yūki let out a shaking, weak gasp in horror. As a result he felt the palm of the King’s hand, covering his back completely. It crushed him into the pale blubber, taking away what little oxygen he had and causing a cracking noise fill the air and cause a burning pain in his limbs.

“Science experiments do not talk,” the King chastised. He lifted his hand, but didn’t let go, he used the mucus his body, even his torso naturally produced to coat his digits. “I believe humans can be fucked through their rectum. Some members of my court have done it. I wonder how it feels. But you would be far too small for my cock, for now, anyway.”

The King slowly slipped his fingers between Yūki’s cheeks, and when he pushed into Yūki’s hole he whined and trembled in fear. It wasn’t as difficult as Yūki thought it would be, it seemed the Octopeople were made for this sort of thing. His digits were more malleable and naturally wet, they filled Yūki quite easily. That didn’t make it hurt any less, the agony ripped through his body, and he began to scream. This time the King didn’t stop him from making any noise, instead he just chuckled to himself, causing the mass of flesh bigger than some land masses to quake and ripple. It didn’t take long for Yūki to feel the tip of The King’s finger to press against his prostate, brutally slamming into him and stretching his hole even more. Yūki felt his cheeks grow wet with tears, enough that they soaked his entire face.

“Hm. Good little lab rat. Now, as you may know, my people do not have a cock as such. Not like you humans, who have a tiny little thing that cannot possibly procreate properly. Instead,” King Hachirō paused, he groaned and lifted a tentacle that slipped out from beneath his belly. It was shorter than the others but thicker. It pulsed more, but moved much less. It didn’t flex or anything else. However, the amount of suckers did cause Yūki to whimper as he thought about them clinging to his insides. “Instead, we can fill your guts and body with so much seed that your pathetic little gut will swell and grow until you cannot even stand.”

[fisherrprince]

wanted to ask, could we get a look in to how you put together your animatics?? I've been toying with the idea of trying to make one of my own, but I've got no idea where to start

oh yeah totally

though to be fair, a HUGE chunk of my time is spent listening to about 20 seconds of a song and imagining how the images move around like a little movie, and I refine a ton of stuff in my head before starting to actually put scenes down on paper. This happens with non-music boarding too, imagining different versions of how the scenes line up with dialogue/music. So step one: put a song on repeat and daydream for at least two hours. But, if you aren’t sure how to do this, I’d suggest looking at animatics, MAP projects, AMVs, animated musicals, fight scenes, etc. what do they do that’s cool? Imitate them.

after that, I have most of the main images with some blank spots im not sure how to fill until I put them down. I make something like this and get the compositions of each main image looking more or less okay in this form. This is also the stage I figure out the in between blank spots. I try not to have weird camera moves or other storyboarding don’ts, but some storyboarding donts are completely valid to break if you know what you want aesthetically. As usual. This one was actually pretty clean, but check out all the framing edits. i always have to make the frame bigger

If you really don’t know what goes in between things, don’t be afraid to focus on some little details of the scene, pull out and show us the setting, put some flowery symbolism on screen, give us some fun little comedic anime inserts, or do what cowboy standoffs do and build tension. What we used to do was draw paws stepping across the screen or eyes blinking, lol

next comes audio sync! I like to get the timing extant on copies of these rough thumbnails before moving on. It helps my brain work through smaller more animated movements + testing if the things I came up with for the blank spots work. and also just makes it happy. And also, most importantly, it tests if the compositions work. If you can see it, the whole sequence with mom was a blank spot until I sketched it. I usually do this step in roughanimator even if i don’t finish it in roughanimator. Keeps it very rough.

after this is just a lot of polishing and layers! For lots of small animatics, I just use roughanimator and leave it like that. It’s surprisingly good for a very basic program. But, for things that need tweens or lots of camera movement, I use toon boom harmony. It’s more powerful and is actually supposed to be used for animation, which. Yknow. I do. I tried storyboard pro, it wasn’t my favorite.

Here are some, I guess, miscellaneous more technical tips for making your animatics feel nice!

If you’re going for lots of movement, try out timing it so big movements or scene transitions line up with the spikes in the audio WAV. If it doesn’t feel right, move it a few frames BEFORE the spike/audio beat. Your brain usually wants to see something move barely before it hears it - this works for dialogue especially. BUT! Don’t feel like you have to do this for every beat. unless you want to feel like Wes Anderson, which you can do and I will not stop you.

If you’re going for something slower with not that much movement, try motion tweening! or adjusting something very slowly so we don’t linger on one still image for forever.

you don’t need crazy camera angles for everything, but put a few in there for spice. This all depends on your mood you want to cultivate. Slow = flatter, spacious, details; fast = lots of moves, weird angles, perspective; disorienting = slow/jerky weird angles etc etc. the camera has emotions built into it. Because the camera is you! surprise!

watch storyboarding tutorials. lots of people zoom in too much when they draw and I am not excluded. Also, keep in mind the eyesight rule. It’s hard for me to explain concisely but… you as the artist are always leading the viewers eye somewhere, with every shot you make. Don’t make them dizzy by having the center of attention jump around to six different spots for six shots straight - if you find yourself unhappy with a sequence, especially a fast one, see if your line of sight is going all over the place and try moving the subject of a shot or two somewhere else or having them move/gesture towards the new shot’s focal point so the viewers eye moves there naturally. I’m actually not great at doing this when words/lyrics are involved, pmv makers have my respect.

contrast is your friend. If you want to emphasize a big fast move or big bright image, put little slow moves or simple images right before/after it. and vice versa! this counts for camera too!

easy camera shakes are just 3-4 frames of cam down/up/down less/up less, a blank tween or two (easing back into normal), and then a key for your desired normal camera location. Or left/right, whichever.

your brain needs about six frames to fully register an object as being an object. If you want someone to see and really See it, rather than just get a glimpse of it and go "What was that!" It needs more than six frames.

don’t be afraid to experiment!!!!!! And don’t get overwhelmed! Everything I just described I MOSTLY do off instinct, which you’ll get a sense for after you make one. Or like…. Ten. Does it feel good in your heart? Then that’s what’s important. Find an idea you want to make move, figure out your limits (programs, attention span, drawing capability, make sure not to commit to a minute long amv if you dont KNOW you wanna do a minute long amv), and plan around that. When I was A Child, people on youtube were just making like three amvs per second and cringe hadn’t been invented yet so they were all mostly untrained unpolished and so so important and based to me. Stop thinking so hard about it. You gotta get that animatic out there into the world or it’ll start fermenting in your brain and make you sick. So what if it doesn’t turn out exactly the way you imagined it? You’ll have another idea tomorrow. And if it matters that much, you can always do it again. Go make! Good luck!

[lowkeyclueless5137]

my kitten went missing since yesterday and I am feeling really sad right now. I can't stop thinking about him and worried if he is ok or not. I just want to have him back in my arms so I could kiss and hug him.

Just to calm myself down, I want to imagine Riddle having a little black kitten that he found around NRC. It was a stray, a little baby that is not even a week old. Riddle couldn't find its' mother, so he assumed either the mother cat leave her child, or something happen to the mother cat. So Riddle hurriedly bring the weak kitten back to his dorm when he didn't know what else to do.

He then tried to raise and help the kitten himself. But since he doesn't really know how to help a kitten nor raise them, there's some trouble on the way. But after some trials, research, and lots of questions about kittens to Silver and Trein-sensei (without him actually tell them why), he finally manage to help the kitten back to health.

Times goes by and the kitten grow bigger. The kitten is a really active and mischievous little fellow. It loves to play around and make a mess in Riddle's room, but he never (or can't) get angry at it. He at first want to just let it go, but the kitten always ran back to him and purring and show it's huge eyes towards Riddle. So now he continue to hid the kitten in his room without any of his dorm members notice.

One day, when he was to leave for class, without his knowing, the kitten ran pass his legs just before he lock his door room. When Riddle got back he was panicking when he found out his little kitten is missing. He make a wreck on his room, trying to find his kitten. This ruckus is what lead the other HB students to his room and then find out about his pet.

They all then panicking trying to find the kitten. It has been hours, and Riddle is worried for his kitten safety. Since the kitten is so small and have black fur, it is hard for everyone to find it.

The next day they still can't find it and Riddle is more quite than ever. Not even Strawberry tart and cute hedgehogs can lift his spirit. No one in the dorm know what to do. But then during lunch break Silver or someone come to the cafeteria carrying the black kitten, who is now meowing in its high pitched noise. Riddle, hearing it's cry, look at the cafetaria door and power walk to the person that carrying his kitten, while crying his eyes out calling the kitten's name.

What I want to say, Riddle really love the kitten and he for sure love to complaints about everyone to his kitten, while the kitten just pawed him on the face and kiss his cheek with its' nose.

...

I really miss my kitten 😭💔

Oh I'm so sorry for your kitty dissappearing. Hope the lil bby returns home safely. :'(

But also think positively! Sure the kitty will come back! As long as you believe in it, the chances are always higher! :D

I usually have cats around the block and there is a particular black one that keeps trying to break in my apartment weekly (they managed a few times) As such, I do know that cats usually get homesick after a good chunk of time. If they are attached to someone/something, they will come back.

Now... I'm gonna apply this to the idea you told me rn. Hope it takes your mind off for a bit and makes you feel a bit better :3

At first, Riddle most likely was in a pickle since this was a living being first and foremost. And he didn't know if the kitty had any allergies or disorders or anything that would compromise a normal cat's treatment.

In truth, he's just overthinking this. :'3

First days are hard and Riddle has no idea what to do. He does start to doubt himself since if he cannot even take care of a kitten, how was he supposed to treat people as a doctor? He starts to doubt that his mother was right about him having to become a doctor if he's this incapable of tending to a living being with much simpler needs.

But once he does keep a pace and gets used to it, it becomes more evident that it's more of a routine change he had to get used to. The kitten too had to get used to this as it was new and probably even scarier than for Riddle.

Definitely, Riddle does some research to have the recovery as quick and as efficient as possible. But he also tries to raise the kitten to the best of his abilities. He doesn't expect it to listen to him since start, because this was a cat. A cat cannot possibly understand human language since start. It was a young cat who was yet to gain a better understanding of it's sorroundings. So Riddle makes sure to have the kitten secured, usually on a side of his bed in a makeshift nest out of pillows and blankets to prevent it from falling off.

By time, the kitten gets used to it. It meows when it knows Riddle would come back. If by chance, the redhead runs late(maybe he nags someone or got an encounter with Floyd), the kitten would scratch at the door and meow, so Riddle alway finds it by his leg when he opens the door.

Riddle does get attached to the little bby, but he also knew that he had to give it away, to someone who could actually take care of the kitty. His mother could never approve of a pet, let alone a cat that makes a mess everywhere. So that thought does make him sad, but it was for the better. Doesn't help that the kitty returns to him whenever he tries to let it go outside and get over it.

So the attachment is there. :'3

One day, the kitty escapes, trying to follow after Riddle to classes, but it gets scared by the other students and thus gets lost through the school. Of course, Riddle didn't realise this until he came back and the panic was very real.

Meanwhile, the kitty was trying to return to the dorm, to it's 'home'. Being a kitty, even with students who spoke cat like Ruggie or Azul, they could bearly make out that the kitten wanted home. It was a young cat still and their meows weren't as good and precise as Lucius's.

The kitty happens to be passed from student to student, to the point they had to give it over to the next one since it would scratch, bite and refuse to eat food given by them.

In the end, it ends up at Silver. Silver did have a bit of a hard time too, which was surprisingly, but this is also what makes him to determine that the kitty had an attachment to someone and most likely is looking for its owner.

Meanwhile Riddle goes through a whole lot of mess. The students who did see the cat tried to give imput, but it fell flat since the kitty was passed so many times in between them that it was hard to even say who had it last. The other Heartslabyul students also try to help, but again, the trail of passing around was way too big and complicated to even determine who had it last.

Riddle was at his desperation when Silver finally finds him. He heard from Kalim how the redhead would look for a kitten. A black kitten, who happens to fit the description of the one Silver found and tried to take care of. He realised the little cat had an owner that was attached to.

It does become a heartfelt reunion. Especially since the kitten immediately dug it's little claws in Riddle's clothes, not wanting to let go. For the rest of the day, Riddle takes the kitty to all his classes and is absolutely in a great mood.

By the end, finally the redhead decides to properly keep it. He would come with an elaborate excuse to his mother, but for now, firstly he had the kitty wear a ribbon bow with a tag, in case it got lost again. :3

[pittdpeaches]

Hi there! Sorry if you’ve already been asked something similar to this haha-

Do you have any writing tips? Anything you wish you’d known earlier? Things you would suggest avoiding?

I’m also curious how you plan your fics if you don’t mind sharing haha

aaaaa hello hello! Apologies for not getting to this sooner, I've been in the process of going to study abroad, but I have some time to sit down and answer this properly. I'm not sure if I have things I wish I'd known or advise you to avoid, but I can share writing tips and fic processes.

Way back in like, october 2022, I made a huge google doc with like 12 different fic ideas I had. I go back to it now and again and add some ideas, or work on others. If I'm particularly inspired by something, I may even make it into a bigger doc. Usually I have an idea of what story I'd want to write and a handful of scenes seared in my head, and it's just a matter of adding scenes in between to get to the Big Stuff. A lot of the time, the story I start with shifts from there in order to justify getting to the original scenes I've planned out.

For example: Genus Datura was supposed to be a sickfic/intoxication fic where Red Son got so fucked up he started genuinely believing MK was his husband, because there was No Way this was real, he had to be dreaming, while a very real, *not* married MK tried to take care of him. The main scenes in my head were the hair washing scene and Red Son throwing up all over MK, but it was a matter of stretching it out into a bigger plot. I wasn't sure *how* Red Son would get into that state, so I did some research and found out jimsonweed is a very poisonous plant that causes hallucination and even death.

This bit of research was great because I could use an element from the actual show in the fanfic, but it also changed the story's tone. It wasn't a silly fic about Red Son spilling his affections to a very real MK-Red Son gets genuinely poisoned, and believes MK is proof of that. It also changed the reason why Red Son was working with the crimson jimsonweed-Princess Iron Fan needed him to work on it, which meant this was to some degree, Princess Iron Fan's fault.

Sometimes, it's less a matter of research changing the fic and more stream of consciousness? I didn't plan for the car scene between Red Son and MK in Genus Datura, but it just sort of poured out the more I wrote, and I went along with it.

While I do sometimes play with the idea of writing the sillier genus datura, I'm really happy with how it turned out. I enjoyed the writing process for it immensely.

I have a pretty spastic writing schedule-I'll do huge 5-8k chunks of writing over the course of a couple hours or a single day, and then just *not* write for a couple days or even a week. I wouldn't say it's the *healthiest* schedule per say, but it works for me and I'm overall pretty content with it. That being said, if you can stretch your writing out over the course of several days rather than jamming it into one, I'd recommend that more to others lmao.

So, here's some advice:

Firstly, make an outline. I'm not a big outlining person myself, I usually just have the chapter number and like, a short blurb about what I want to happen, but that alone is good enough. There's nothing worse than having a scene in your head and then completely forgetting it when you sit down to write three days later.

Take your time writing! Schedules and deadlines you create for yourself are handy if you want consistency, but life isn't consistent, and sometimes you need to be lenient with yourself. Write what you can, and if you can't some days, don't.

If you're stuck on something, genuinely go outside. Or stay inside, doing something completely different. Work on something else. The brain is fascinating-it works on things even when we don't really think about them. Give yourself some time away from your story and eventually, it'll come to you.

Play around with your ideas, even if you don't expect them. You might change something you thought was an integral aspect of the story at some point, and you might switch it out for something you'd just came up with on the spot. And that's okay. If this is where the story wants to take you, then go along for the ride.

Most importantly I think is that no matter how silly or stupid you think your writing is, someone out there will love it. Even if you don't get as many views or likes or comments as you'd hope, someone out there keeps your work close to their heart. You've worked hard on something, and you should be proud of that :D

Hope this all helped!!! It's a VERY long response, sorry about that rgurithjn.

[jolalibrary]

Hey my lovely Jo!! We’re going to start with a writing question before we get to 🤡.

When you’re writing a multi-chapter fic, are you writing it chapter by chapter or do you write a large chunk (or the entire fic) before posting the individual chapters?

Love you 💜💜

lovely lovely jenn! what a fabulous question, okay, I may ramble here, forgive meeeee.

previously, I have written a huge chunk of the fic to an outline I have (a skeleton, as I call it) and then begin posting when I’ve banked what I suspect is 30-40% of the fic, to allow for buffer time. this is mainly because I upload weekly and life can happen/sickness/etc.

late night texts was one I wrote three chapters of (thinking it would be five) and began posting and then spent every week writing the next and it was AMAZING! but I also didn’t have assignments then, one shots coming out of my ears (both my fault) or fandom friends to talk to. I just had writing. but with do me yourself, I had a chunk of that written and then I dedicated time aside to do as much of it as I could as i was posting but noticed near the end that I almost lost a thread 😂 like I didn’t close it up. I managed to sort but it kinda made me realise that when I do a slightly bigger plot (for me) my brain can forget little threads.

so I realised for actual series, I need to change it up.

HOWEVER, more recently, blue x frankie WAS supposed to be a collection of one shots that have somehow become a story? (let’s not even ask 😂) so, for this I’ve made a hard plan and made sure it has bullet points so I know what I’m doing.

but with new things, i am trying to write in full at least a draft. there’s something I’m working on that I’ve worked out could be around 12 chapters, and while I could get to four or five and begin posting, I really want to make sure for myself that I’m happy with elements before posting. so I won’t even be teasing that out into the universe because I’ll get excited and post 😂. (I succumb to peer pressure very easily).

now I’ve rambled a lot and I know you asked me for what I do, but I do want to stress there’s no right or wrong way, as long as you can be confident in what youve done. that’s all that matters.

I never used to be a planner, but I’ve found a tactic that works well for me. It’s good for my brain and how i work, and it’s taken years to craft and tweak it to be how i want. so if anyone is after advice: just try things.

and I think because I am now a planner who pants, that has changed me as an uploader, and I think I’ve learnt that I’d like to enjoy the process of posting it more if I know I’m completely done. its especially important as I’m trying to weave more things in and also make the readers lean a bit closer to OCs so people can really sink into them.

anyway, that’s a lot of ramble. but I hope I answered your question! thank you for it, it really made me think!

ily, jo

[yooniesim]

OK so I agree completely with what Rheall said in that post that no one is above anyone in this community and I get the clique is an illusion sentiment. But you have to admit that when the smaller simblrs watch “Bruce the Dolphin” go round and round the same 30 people what are they supposed to think? Or when they watch simblrs with higher notes re-blog only from other simblrs with the same amount of notes.

We tell them to reblog and interact because you know the more popular simblrs are the same as us but I just think maybe sometimes all of us can do better at cultivating this community. It is nice to reblog posts saying everyone here is valid but how many put that sentiment really into practice?

Well except for the black simblr community. Y’all already do this. Whether someone in large or small, young or old, vanilla or alpha (and everything in between) they are welcomed. Replies and asks are answered and smaller simblrs are reblogged and shouted out. The rest of the community could really take some notes.

Sorry I have been in this community for a long time and just had to to get this off my chest. You don’t even need to reply if you don’t want to. Hopefully you are having a great day even with my word vomit!

Yeah, I do agree with this too nonny (which is why I added some additional tags on that post).

I'm not gonna put words in her mouth or anything cos I can't say, but it felt like maybe she was describing some of the better parts of this community? When you don't interact with or just block certain blogs, your time here gets exponentially better in my experience, it becomes a lot closer to the ideal. But that also goes along with what she said about trying your best not to focus on the notes. Because the fact of the matter is, a lot of the really bigger blogs are kind of assholish, and if you really want a lot of notes regularly you gotta kiss tip to stay in their circle (or somewhat adjacent) and not ostracized/hit with the chain block. And the people that really care about notes will stay walking on eggshells to stay there no matter what happens which creates that toxic, clique-like environment imo. This goes for both of the bigger chunks of the community which I tend to separate between cc makers and non-cc makers in my head. That's just how it is and I don't think that's going to change.

In reality, I think making your experience here better is a mix of the two ideas. Following Rheall's advice is a really good idea and I highly encourage it. But also, you do have to be a little picky about who you interact with in the first place. This is why I'd actually encourage talking a lot to people that are smaller rather than trying to aim for people with huge followings. They're more likely to be friendly and willing to encourage you and spread your posts, and you can gain awesome friends that way. They're less likely to be focused on popularity and more likely to say what they really think. Yes, no one here on simblr is better than anyone else, we're all the same- but some people do think they are better than everyone else, sadly. There's some big egos and nasty souls in this community that simply aren't worth getting wrapped up in, even if they treat you nice for a minute or get you some extra notes. I'm not going to say notes don't matter, we all know they do; but what I'm saying is, I'd rather some real genuine comments from my mutuals than a thousand silent reblogs from people that don't give 1 shit about me, you know? Or a reblog from someone that would turn around and blast me with waves of anon hate cos I disagreed with them. It's not worth it.

Instead, you have no choice but to work hard to cultivate your community for yourself. That includes a) what Rheall mentioned, reaching out to others and being kind, and b) blocking those that display the behaviors you mentioned above. Because you can't make the mistake of expecting them to change- they won't. If I see someone only reblogging from the same people & the same 500+ note posts over and over again, ignoring people in the comments and only speaking to the same people, and constantly circlejerking to nauseating amounts, I just block them. If I see a huge creator that only posts their paywalled cc, never interacts, and ignores the people using & gushing over their content, I block them. And what seems like closing a door is actually opening another. Even now, simblr is a big place, and blocking those blogs won't shut you off from the best part of it. It just blocks that behavior from your view and allows other simblrs and subsets of our community to shine.

I think why black simblr is so good at this is the fact that we are a smaller section of the community, relatively. It's more niche and tight-knit, and there's also a variety of tags you can use to find more. And while some of this section is fairly large (I would say more medium size follower wise), you will notice that most of the super big simblrs are not black simblrs. Or at least, don't interact as much with that subset of the community. You also notice this with most of the big cc creators being non-black as well. (I actually think black simblr is often used as a talking point for more notes at best or punching bag at worst for a lot of big simblr, but that's another discussion entirely.) Common niches will always stick together and promote better in simblr, whether that's based on race or by common interests, such as royal simblrs, simblrs that like kpop, etc. Find simblrs that are similar to you, and that can very well be a launching point to being part of a community you didn't even know was there.

I feel like I'm repeating myself a bit, but what I take away from the discussion as a whole, is not that notes don't matter. Not caring about them can be really hard, that's valid and makes perfect sense for all of us. But more that, what you have to do to get them quickly and consistently, what you have to do to stay there, and the toll on your mental health because of it is not worth it. I have interacted with all kinds of simblrs here in my time, big and small, and a lot of what you see at the perceived "top of the top" is just ugly. There's a lot of jealously, resentment, contempt, and burn-out brewing up there, usually built up from sitting in that same place for years. There's a sense of bitter cynicism that leaves a bad taste in your mouth just from being around it. And it's very easy to get sucked into that and the negativity too, I know that myself. Even though some may joke or mock anyone for talking about it and brush it off as being not that deep or whatever, it's true. It's really not a place or mindset you want to be in.

Apologies for word vomiting back at you so badly lol, but I'll try to wrap it up now. I just really think that, while I wish the dynamics of simblr would change as a whole, that just isn't going to happen. The Reblog Debate comes up every half a year and every time everyone says the same thing and the bigger simblrs cat fight with the smaller simblrs and the vague posts fly out by the thousands and nothing changes either way. The only solution is, honestly, to just aim low and find a few good mutuals here and that's it. Anything more, well, that's a pleasant surprise- right?

[deedala]

Do you think Debbie is still with Heidi? How did that end? Do you think Heidi bit off the rest of Debbie's toes in breakup revenge?

*cracks knuckles* i have opinions. In 11x12 Heidi tells Debbie that she's "splitting tomorrow" off to Texas to join her friends in some scam or whatever. She very casually tells Debbie that she's welcome to come and bring Franny too if she wants. I really dont think Heidi cares one way or the other. A thing I think that should be acknowledged here, is that even if we think Debbie was considering it that day, by later that night when the hospital got ahold of the Gallagher's and told them Frank had died of covid, Debbie wouldn't be going anywhere, and Heidi would definitely be outta there ASAP. (Not so much because she's uncomfortable or whatever, but because she has her own plans and she does not care enough to change them.) So even if we assume the Gallaghers don't really bother to isolate for covid exposure (which like i dunno, maybe they would be good about it but its besides the point), I think that Frank's death would bring all 5 of his kids (yes Ian is one of Frank's kids) together in a stronger way than what we were seeing in most of season 11. Okay bear with me, because I know they didn't like him, often hated him, (though Liam was young enough to still be pretty fond of him just like we saw with Debbie and Carl), but they would still feel his loss. They had feelings about it when Monica died, and she was the parent who was gone for huge chunks of their lives. Frank was actually around most of the time. And they all had their moments with Frank (except for Ian i suppose though i maintain they both still considered each other father & son) which would make their feelings about his death even more complicated than Monica's (I guess like how Ian had more complicated feelings about Monica's death because he had been closer to her as apposed to the others who were closer to Frank). So all of that is to say that I think there would have been some emotions and they probably held a memorial party for him at the Alibi much like they shared some memories and partied together after Monica's funeral. Frank had just told Debbie that the only way she was going to find someone to be with was to find someone who was a bigger loser than her. And I think we're supposed to assume that she's taken that to heart and that it contributes to her bringing Heidi home with her. But like I said, Heidi definitely woke up the next morning and skipped town. And I really dont think that she nor Debbie really cared about it. I think within the following days that Debbie would have ended up in a heart to heart talk with Lip. I dunno if yall remember, but Debbie and Lip are actually pretty close before season 11? Their butting heads over the house situation wasn't going to last forever. She would have told him what Frank said to her and he would have done the big brother/pseudo-father thing that he normally does and tell her about how it's bullshit, maybe he'd even have a little advice for her. I think whatever is said between them would have helped her understand that Frank really was just full of shit. And going forward she would not be looking for someone "more of a loser" than she is. 😑 Maybe she would even look for someone who really has their shit together? Debbie is a catch tbh, and I think she can very much achieve a good relationship with someone stable. She's young, she has lots of time to learn and develop better relationship habits. And yeah idk, I just think they'd all be making a slightly bigger effort to connect after Frank's death. Especially for Liams sake, you know? Uuhhhmmm okay I hope I answered all your questions in there somewhere. Oh... No, Debbie did not lose any more toes. 🙏

[beniial]

Half Life 2

Woah! I do reviews now. These aren't going to be professional critiques or anything, I just wanted somewhere to dump my thoughts out as I work through games. A lot of these will also be posted over on Backloggd, if you want to see all of them together. Also, don't expect them all to be this long. I just had a lot of thoughts I wanted to get out.

Half Life 2 feels revolutionary. Not in the sense that it blows what I've played before out of the water, but that I can feel how it changed the way games after it were designed and influenced where we are now. I've been meaning to get around to it for a while after playing HL1 on my laptop between classes a couple years back, and after giving it a bit of a try and getting distracted last year I sat down and worked through it over a couple days.

The game's world building is excellent - I think it's its strongest suit. City 17 and its surrounding areas feel like a lived in world, torn apart and scavenged back together in the cracks. The moment to moment story isnt that complicated, often just being enough to point Gordon to the next main location, but I feel like that's ignoring the rest of the story going on. The person waiting at the train station asking if anyone else is getting off, the small resistance armies dotted along the coast, the pinboard in Eli's lab keeping tabs on Breen's rise to power. You see a lot more of the world than just the hallways and canals you're running through, and it feels like spotting these things is a reward itself, even if there are the lambda caches dotted around encouraging you to slow down and comb through the world more as well. It does feel like the game is a bit lacking in the actual environments you're in, though. It matches the setting but a huge chunk of the game is spent in kind of samey urban environments, and when it does switch up the aesthetic you're normally locked into that new look for a while as well, like the coastal cliffs or the inside of Nova Prospekt.

Playing the game, you cant help but feel how excited the Valve designers were about their new engine. Every setpiece or mechanic has a "WOW" factor you can still feel today, with both big dramatic changes in the environment and tiny details among the rubble that only exist to give you more toys to play with. The "pick up that can" moment early on isn't just a tutorial for moving objects, it's the developers showing just how immersive a game can be in the future year of 2004, and giving you the freedom to throw that can at a cop's face and then run away giggling while they chase after you. The game is in wonder of the source engine's technology and wants to show off just how flexible it can be. Unfortunately, part of the game's wonder with its own technology is having Gordon sit down in a vehicle and pilot the physics engine for a while. Yes this deserves its own section. I don't think they're quite as boring as other people have said, there's plenty of side areas to explore and you have to get out on foot often to break up the pace, but they're definitely not as strong as the core gameplay. They feel like a 10 minute setpiece stretched out to an hour for the sake of not wasting all the time it took to make them work. The airboat segment is definitely the better segment out of the two - its looser controls and bigger emphasis on doing cool stunts and darting around make it more fun to use, and it gets incorporated into puzzles and combat more often than the car. I suppose I have to put myself back in the moment for these - back then switching from on-foot to in a vehicle on the fly and having it feel realistic would've been enough to hype you through the entire area. Or maybe not. I wasn't there.

The game isn't just about stacking bricks on a seesaw and showing off how cool Havok is, though. The meat and potatoes is still a set of really interesting combat encounters. It felt like all of them had something unique to it, just like the original. Combat is a puzzle, and the solution isn't always to just sprint in and spray whatever gun has the most ammo - I needed to pick out which enemies had to be taken out first, where I could afford to take cover and reload, which I could pick off at a distance or flush out of cover with a grenade. That is until Father Grigori blessed me with the holy 12 gague and let me switch from Gordon Freeman, the MIT scientist plunged into comat, to Gordon, the creature that will sprint up to you at 20mph and blast 12 pellets of 8 damage into your chest before you have time to fire back. I think its a bit of a shame the weapon arsenal is more tame this time around, with the limited use antlion pods not being a substitute for flocks of snarks I have at all times, but they all had a place in combat and I never felt underequipped for what was being thrown at me. Likewise, I prefered the larger range of enemies HL1 had to offer. Combine soldiers are a fun challenge to deal with, but other than headcrabs and zombies in 3 flavours or the occasional swarm of manhacks it felt like I was fighting the same enemies the entire game, just with their health tuned up to match my rising damage output.

The ending cliffhanger worked on me. Episodes 1 and 2 are now installed, and I am ready and eager to be stuck waiting for what comes after them, same as everyone else has for 17 years or so. I dont think it's a perfect sequel to Half Life 1, losing out on its tighter design and variety of content, but it definitely is a perfect introduction to the Source engine, giving the groundwork for other excellent games to work off. Also the gravity gun is cool i guess.

[siren-nate]

Every Metroid Prime boss ranked from worst to best

Ground rules: No repeating fights. That means no bosses that you fight multiple instances of with nothing changing, and no bosses that just become regular enemies later on. If a boss has multiple phases that have to be fought in order, all of those phases will be considered together, not separately. Lastly, I won't be counting Hunters bosses because I just haven't played the game and it's more of a spinoff than anything else. Also, only the top thirty entries get images, because that's Tumblr's limit, apparently.

Putting this under a readmore because, obviously, it's goddamned huge.

36) Alpha Blogg

FUCK THIS THING.

I hate, hate, hate, HATE, HATE, HATE THE ALPHA BLOGG. How are you supposed to fight it? No, legitimately, somebody explain to me what the intended way to fight this fucking thing is. It only shows its weak spot for a fraction of a second right before it attacks you, sometimes it doesn't show that weak spot and has absolutely no tell for when it is or isn't going to, and sometimes it just randomly combos into you three or four times before finally letting you get away from it. The only weapons that do significant damage to it (super missile and darkburst) take a second to fire off after you hit the missile button, making it even more stupidly difficult to get the timing perfect and actually damage the Alpha Blogg.

I'm not joking when I say that as far as I can tell, the only way to fight this stupid fucking fish is to continuously suicide-attack it and hope that you get enough blind luck attacks in that it dies before you do. I'm not even mentioning that every time you die to it, you have to replay a huge chunk of its area again due to poor checkpoint implementation. Fuck. This. Boss.

35) Power Bomb Guardian

Here's a boss fight that I'm honestly shocked doesn't get more hate. The Power Bomb Guardian is annoying. Yes, there's a certain art to baiting it into shooting power bombs in a direction you're not actually going due to how strongly it leads its shots and re-aims on a dime, but no matter how good you get at it, there's always going to be several times where getting knocked off the wall and forced to start the climb all over again is just unavoidable. God, I hate this stupid thing.

34) Cloaked Drone

This one's just lame. I hate boss fights where either you don't know the trick and it's a nightmare, or you do know the trick and it's trivial, and that's exactly what this is. Either you don't use the Wavebuster and it's a nightmare because it's an extremely agile invisible enemy, or you do and it's not even a fight anymore.

33) Pirate Commander

The perfect microcosm of why Prime 3's combat sucks. All he does is teleport around, summon commandos for you to insta-kill with the nova beam after struggling to land that perfect hit on them, and use the same attacks as a commando. Despite this, he has what feels like ten times the health of one, and all his teleporting means it's near-impossible to lay down serious damage against him. It's just an unfun slog of chewing through a very irritating damage sponge with the same, single attack over and over until it finally dies. Again, Prime 3's combat in a nutshell.

32) Jump Guardian

Possibly the most forgettable boss fight in the whole series. It really is just a Warrior Ing with a bigger health bar and a slam-the-ground-make-a-shockwave-attack, also known as the attack that every boss in this whole series has. Honestly a shocking lack of fanfare for an enemy that has a power-up as integral as the double jump.

31) Parasite Queen

This one's a really good introductory boss fight and a great climax to the first area of the entire series, but sadly, that means it's kind of a nothing fight on replays. She really just doesn't do much, but I guess having to sidestep constantly to aim between her shields at least keeps you on the move and engaged. There's a surprising amount of skill involved in dodging her mouth lasers, but I swear sometimes they just hit you no matter what you do. She gets bonus points for the mechanic where you can scan her to adjust the auto-targeting to do more damage... and then gets those bonus points immediately taken away because she's the only boss fight in the entire series that works like that, so it's kind of a pointless thing to teach the player.

30) Hive Mecha

This is a really good example of how to make a tutorial boss fight that doesn't grate on experienced players! Unfortunately, it's also a really bad example of a tutorial boss fight that actually teaches the player the thing it's trying to teach them. Hive Mecha is a manageable, enjoyable challenge if you figure out how the radar works before or during the fight with it, and a chaotic nightmare mess if you don't. I think the idea is that all of the enemies swarming in a circle on the radar gets the player's attention, and they think "Oh, hey, I can use this to see when the wasps keep still so I can shoot them!". The problem is that they're distracted by, y'know, all of the enemies swarming around them nonstop. Just a single text pop-up telling you to use the radar would help this fight a lot - hell, they could have buried it in the Ram War Wasp scan if they wanted it to not be obvious.

29) (Dark) Alpha Splinter

What a strange creature; it gets weaker when it's possessed by an Ing. Seriously, trading in that insanely well-tracked pounce-and-return for a way more avoidable version makes the second half of this fight bafflingly easier than the first, even with the addition of projectiles. A good first boss fight, but kind of emblematic of how wonky Prime 2's difficulty is at times.

28) Grapple Guardian

This thing is so obtuse and confusing that Metroid Fusion's puzzles give it a nod of respect. Okay, so you have to get it to grapple onto the energy pillars to stun it. Except for the fact that if it's too close, that doesn't work, for literally no reason. Then you have to damage it in the back, but then when its tail falls off, suddenly you can damage it by shooting it in the eye after you've already shot that area enough to stun it and make its invulnerable shield dissipate. You go from shooting it in the eye so you can hit its back to... shooting it in the eye so you can shoot it in the eye some more. The icing on the cake is that you can't damage it at all until you scan it, for no goddamned reason.

It took me half a fucking hour to figure out how I was supposed to just kill this stupid thing. It's not that bad once you DO know all the mistakes to avoid, but that first playthrough and its bugginess with the grapple beam makes me hate it so much it's all the way down here.

27) Caretaker-Class Drone

Frantic is the word to describe this fight. You are constantly on the move, you have barely enough time to register the weak spot and line up a shot, let alone hit it, you always have to jump around like a hyperactive squirrel as the attacks get faster and take up more space... yeah, frantic as all hell. This boss does irritate me because of how unpredictable the direction of your boost-jumps are, though. Sometimes it screws me out of a hit because it randomly decides to not work the same way it has for the last three jumps, or the same kind of random chance throws me right into damage.

26) Dark Samus (Prime 2, Final)

Given she's practically the mascot of the series, it feels weird for Dark Samus's first appearance on this list to be her role as final boss of her debut game... and for it to be so low. Unfortunately, this fight is terrible compared to its contemporaries. It starts off fine, if a little lacking - no cover to duck in and out of, no new tricks from Dark Samus and significantly less agility from her. But that attack where she becomes invulnerable and you have to play phazon tennis with her is... shit. It's just shit. The hit detection on both of her attacks is unreliable as hell - I've had small bullets hit me right in the face while I was charging only to take damage and lose my shot, and the big bullet is just unavoidable whenever it feels like it.

Yes, by the way, I did say both attacks. As in, for the vast majority of her tenure as final boss of Prime 2, Dark Samus uses exactly two different attacks. Given what a highlight her other two fights are in that game, it's just... pathetic. The cherry on top is the fact that you have a time limit hanging over your head for a boss fight where the majority of the time, you cannot damage her with any speed.

25) Rundas

Oh, boy, this one's gonna get me a lot of hate...

Let me preface this by saying: I love Rundas. I love all three of the Prime 3 bounty hunters, to the point that one of my biggest criticisms of the game is that it kills them off rather than keep their potential around for Prime 4. Rundas as a character is great.

Runda as a boss fight is the single most pathetically easy fight in the entire trilogy, behind only the Cloaked Drone when you use the Wavebuster. One single charged beam hypermode shot, he's stunned. Rip his armor off. One single charged beam hypermode shot, he's dead. Rundas is a boss fight that - even on hard difficulty - I routinely kill in less than thirty seconds.

The tragedy of it is, if you don't use hypermode at all? Rundas's boss fight is awesome! He soars all over the arena, hopping from ice platform to ice platform while launching projectiles at you, and gains an entirely new, unique, extremely hard-to-dodge attack when he uses his own hypermode! It's a WAY more fitting send-off for such a capable character, and probably what the developers intended and expected given you only have a measly two or three energy tanks to power your hypermode by the time you fight him. But I can't only acknowledge the fight that I get when I do a self-imposed challenge, especially when I can only reasonably do that on easy difficulty due to how fucked Prime 3's gameplay balance is.

24) Gandrayda

Aaand we immediately go from one extreme to the other. Gandrayda is a fucking nightmare on hard difficulty. Her microscopic hitbox and constant jumping around mean that using hypermode at all is just a waste of valuable health, especially given there are no opportunities to heal for the last 75% or so of this fight. Even seeker missiles are borderline useless unless you time them perfectly so she's not just flipping right around them and making them miss, and at that point you may as well stick to the only tactic I've found that works: spamming the shit out of the basic uncharged plasma beam so hard that I worry my mouse is going to break. This wouldn't be so god-awful if it weren't for how impossibly tanky Gandrayda is, because Prime 3 doesn't know how to balance the health of its enemies.

While the idea of a shapeshifting boss fight constantly swapping between stronger versions of enemies you've fought before could be super interesting, Gandrayda basically stops changing form at all for the last third of the fight, meaning it's just you and an incredibly annoyingly hard to hit target with way too much goddamned health that does way too much goddamned damage. Just like Rundas, I love the character, but fuck this boss fight.

23) Mogenar

This thing is a roadblock on hard difficulty. Even with every energy tank I can possibly acquire before I fight it, I often just barely have enough hypermode usage to scrape through by the skin of my teeth, given that the charged rapid-fire shot is about the only way you can possibly damage it fast enough to make significant progress. If it only had some health pickups, like when it drops rocks from the ceiling or something like that, it'd be a lot less stressful, but as it stands I have very little actual fun fighting this thing.

22) Bomb Guardian

Honestly, this thing's kind of slept on. Trying to jump over it at just the right moment when it charges, so you can get closer to its weak spot and have a clearer shot - that's excellent. I also love its stupid charged up million-bombs attack. It's such a rude wake-up surprise the first time you fail to damage it enough to interrupt it, and so overkill it's downright hilarious.

21) Incinerator Drone

I don't have much to say about this one; it's just an enjoyable, if basic, fight. Circling around and either jumping over or morph balling under the flame streams, which gets trickier the more wasps it wakes up to distract you from shooting the weak spot when it opens - just good stuff.

20) Flaahgra

Ah, the first Real-Ass Boss Fight of Metroid Prime! I love Flaahgra's design and the way it serves as a red herring for a first-time player who really pays attention to the story. There's just one problem: it's piss-easy. Seriously, a few charge shots and it gets completely stunned for about three to five months, during which you have plenty of time to side-jump in circles around it and shoot the mirrors back up. The biggest obstacle it poses is when it makes those impassable barriers, requiring the legendary speedrunning technique known as... going the other way.

19) Amorbis

You know, I could kind of just copy+paste the description of Flaahgra here with some minor edits. First Real-Ass Boss Fight of its game, amazing presentation and spectacle and sheer scale, piss-easy fight. The light beam's charge shot just melts every single phase of this boss, even on hard difficulty. Still, at least you have to do a hell of a lot more than stun Amorbis to fight it (them?).

18) Defense Drone

I kind of struggle to come up with things to say about this one. You'd think the three simultaneous targets on its back would make it the perfect time to use the seeker missile, but you don't have it by the time you fight it, so yet more charged hypermode shots it is. I will say that the hit detection to actually damage it is really annoying - half my shots seem to bounce off even when I'm literally locked on and it's standing relatively still. Also, those chasing exploding poison ball things are annoying as fuck - I never want to waste time shooting them because I want this fight to be over as quick as possible.

17) Korakk Beast

This one's fun - pulling it apart to finally get it vulnerable is like a puzzle in and of itself. Hit its exposed mouth to stun it, get underneath and lay a bunch of bombs, get behind it and yank its tail, then finally unload on its chest - preferably in hypermode. One thing that disappoints me, though, is that the rider isn't particularly difficult to kill, and once he's gone, it neuters a lot of the Korakk's best attacking options. The fight would be better if another rider leapt in to take command of it after each cycle, or something like that.

16) Boost Guardian

Today's word of the day is "overhyped"! Seriously, Boost Guardian is just not as hard as everyone says it is. Apparently it was much harder in the original release of Prime 2, but not that much according to the wiki - apparently it did 60 damage instead of 40, which... doesn't strike me as a massive, earth-shattering change. How does anyone have difficulty avoiding its boost attack? You literally just... jump. You have the double jump by the time you fight it, so you have pretty good hang time. Yeah, the lack of safe zones is tricky, but honestly, safe zones in other boss fights turn them into a joke, so part of me is glad that at least a few don't have any. And even if health runs low... Inglets die in a single uncharged light beam shot.

And just to put the final nail in that particular coffin: Mike Wikan said he was completely exaggerating when he said he couldn't beat Boost Guardian without debug mood. So, I don't get it. Boost Guardian is only a little harder than you would expect given its placement in the game.

15) Ghor

One of the only examples of Prime 3's difficulty feeling slightly balanced leads to this being one of my favorite Prime 3 boss fights. Ghor is a target that takes a ton of punishment, with multiple phases and several layers of defense making him immune until you destroy them by using the environment and the morph ball to your advantage. Even then, he throws out so many wide-ranged attacks nonstop that it can feel like you're two entire armies condensed into one person, throwing out as much damage as possible until one of you buckles.

14) Omega Ridley

Gahhh. I'm so torn on this one. I think the easiest way to sum it up is: I love this boss fight just as much as I hate it. I love how Ridley's new powers from massive corruption mirror Samus's new abilities from her PED, keeping them roughly even just like all their other fights. I love how his only sometimes-there weak spot in his open mouth means that charged hyperbeam shots aren't the ubiquitous solution to everything that they are in nearly every other boss fight. I love how he has "health" that can't be depleted with hypermode, in the form of his phazite armor that you need to destroy with the Nova Beam. But I hate how he wastes my fucking time by flying in and out of the arena dropping unfairly difficult attacks, I hate how there are absolutely no opportunities to heal, I hate how there's no good way to run away and damage him with hypermode when he's on his last legs and his weak spot's finally exposed while he's still attacking- like I said, I love this fight pretty much exactly as much as I hate it.

13) Helios

This thing is honestly just such a cool, creative idea. It's essentially the Scornet Maestro from Pikmin 3, six years before that game came out. It commands swarms of shriekbats into all kinds of bizarre shapes, like an orb that rolls around and crushes you, an array of charging projectiles, a swirling tornado that you have to attack in the morph ball, and even a giant bipedal figure with Helios making up the tiny torso. The problem is the constant onslaught of mook enemies means constant pickups for you, so there's really no reason not to go nuts with hypermode usage and make mincemeat out of this thing before it has much time to shine.

12) Omega Pirate

Bit of a controversial placement, but I just don't especially like the Omega Pirate. Fighting him head-on is a slog - the constant absorption of all my attacks is irritating, the hit detection on his armor plates is extremely buggy, and his thrown explosives just feel completely unavoidable at times. However, using power bombs makes him a joke, especially if you have spring ball or time it so you set one off after he launches you up into the air. They're also the only way to deal with all his summoned beam troopers without going insane, so on Hard difficulty, I honestly find that my attempts at this boss fight live or die based entirely on whether his minions drop enough power bombs. Still a fun fight, but kind of a luck-based pushover once you know the tricks.

11) Thardus

You fight Thardus about halfway through the first game, which is the perfect spot for a real die-or-fly test to make sure the player is either well prepared and learning, or hitting an impassable wall until they are. To that end, just about every single ability you've acquired up to this point is integral to fighting Thardus; you need to be good with aiming and timing your shots to hit each exposed weak point, you need the thermal visor to expose them in the first place, you need to be good with the double jump to avoid getting frozen when it shoots those icy streams along the ground, and you need the morph ball and good boost timing with it to avoid its boulder-rolling attack. The way its model literally gets parts of its body deleted as you blow them up until the whole thing collapses into normal rock is just so viscerally satisfying.

Sadly, there are a few annoyances I have with it. Not being able to see anything for most of the second half of the fight is a pretty big one, since the only way to really get around that is getting close, which is a death sentence. I've also never figured out what's even the point of its big lightning-bolt-summoning attack, given it only seems to use it twice and only extremely nearby to itself.

10) Meta Ridley (Prime 3)

This is a fight that rides purely on style points, I will freely admit it- but god DAMN if it doesn't ride pretty high. Samus and Ridley are both actively falling to a gruesome death at the bottom of a power generator shaft. Despite this, they are both far more concerned with murdering each other than they are with saving themselves, as not a single second is wasted wondering how either of them are going to survive this situation after they kill the other.

Despite being an amazing premise, this fight's pretty... simple. Enough to almost get boring, but not quite. All you really to do is aim straight down or straight up and spam uncharged shots, then charge and time your shots well whenever Ridley gets close and grabs you. It's a little short, but it should be - it's a premise that shows off the depths of Samus and Ridley's unbridled hatred for each other, and doesn't overstay its welcome.

9) Spider Guardian

Boy, this one's gonna rustle some jimmies... yeah, I really like the Spider Guardian fight. But unlike the Boost Guardian fight, I can totally see why people don't like it - it's barely a boss fight in the traditional sense, more of just an extended series of puzzles that you can die to. The fact that you fight it entirely in the morph ball in a 2D space gives it a feeling unlike any other boss fight in the Prime series, and I'm kind of a sucker for "small adventure, big impact"-type stuff. Fun fact: when I first fought this thing, my emulator crashed and I had to replay it again. I fought the Spider Guardian twice in a row... without figuring out how to turn on spring ball. And you know what? I still like it. I'm the weirdo on this one, I guess.

8) Quadraxis

Some would call it sacrilege not to put Quadraxis even higher than it is, but hear me out. This is a really excellent fight, one that I look forward to for obvious reasons every time I play Prime 2. It's huge, possibly the biggest enemy you fight in the entire Prime series, and it's such a determined, persistent foe that the lack of safe zones will start to make you sweat even given how many energy tanks you're likely to have by the time you fight it.

But for all of that, Quadraxis just... doesn't do much. It mostly just stands there, circling its legs around to hide the knee joints it still has, firing projectiles that are Samus-sized - which makes them kind of pathetically small compared to the gargantuan robot that's launching them. Sure, it can do that tornado attack that draws you in, and that's a good time to lay a power bomb and destroy all four of its feet at once - but that attack is honestly more annoying than anything, because I've never figured out how to avoid getting sucked in.

The first phase is easily the best, but when it comes down to it, losing its entire body really does weaken Quadraxis just as much as you'd logically expect. It spends most of the second and third phases completely stunned by super missiles, either fired into the body's antenna or just directly into the head, respectively. The Quadraxis boss fight feels less like fighting a sci-fi war machine, and more just like fighting a real-life war machine. It's insanely durable, but also insanely non-agile.

7) Dark Samus (Prime 3)

Dark Samus's final tenure as boss fight is a pretty damned memorable one. I love how the attacks she uses mirrors those of the three bounty hunters she corrupted and killed over the course of the game - she summons giant destructible pillars like Rundas, fires huge sweeping lasers like Ghor, and splits into multiple entities like Gandrayda. This is by far the best boss fight in Prime 3, and it's absolutely because it's actually balanced for hypermode - after all, you'll be using it nonstop throughout the entire fight. Mix that with the fantastic mirror-boss feel of the first two Dark Samus fights in Prime 2, and you have something truly special.

There's an interesting element of choice whenever she uses her echoes, and then starts healing - the obvious pick is to use the x-ray visor to spot the real one, and cut her healing short as fast as possible. But on the other hand, those annoying duplicates that she loves to fuse with and become invincible are sitting ducks, and destroying them doesn't take that much time. You might find that it's better to let her heal a little if it means getting rid of her echoes and getting some precious anti-phazon in the process.

Sadly, this isn't made to last. Yeah, yeah, we all know where this is going - like I said, all phases of a boss fight are counted together, no matter how drastically different they are. And AU 313... just isn't that fun. For starters, any time it's actually attacking you rather than just sitting there using its most basic moves, you can't do anything to damage it, which is annoying at best and infuriating at worst, given that - just like the last fight with her in Prime 2 - you're on the clock to kill her before you get an instant game over from terminal corruption.

But on top of how annoying the second phase is, the third phase is just... boring. All I ever seem to do is stay right underneath it as best I can, shooting up into its weak spot or that one charged attack that sticks out from the bottom and can stun it if overloaded. Overall, it's just disappointing that the final boss of the entire trilogy starts so strong, only to go out not with a bang, but a whimper.

6) Dark Samus (Prime 2, Second)

Okay, now we're getting to the ones where I struggle to come up with negative things to say. The second Dark Samus fight is fantastic. The way it begins as a steel cage match on the ascending elevator, then she unveils new tricks when you reach the Aerie, including more moves stolen from Samus like the boost ball and fucking shinespark - an attack Samus doesn't even GET in the Prime series - is just incredible. I do find that this fight lacks a bit of the punchiness of the very first one, though - nailing that final shot to end it can take a long time, especially with Dark Samus abusing that aforementioned boost ball. Unlike the Boos Guardian, you can't even bomb her while she's zooming around to get her out of it early (or at least, I've never been able to).

5) Chykka

God, what a good boss fight. The first phase is a little slow paced and annoying, but the second phase is fantastic. Chykka's full-grown design is gorgeous, and its fight is a frantic affair where you're swinging all over the place with the grapple beam, trying to find the best ways to land hits on that twiggy body and then get behind it ASAP once it's stunned. Damaging all four wings at once is also one of the best times to use the severely under-utilized seeker missile. Honestly, Chykka feels really slept on in terms of what an excellent boss it is.

4) Metroid Prime

When I first heard there were people who didn't love Metroid Prime as a final boss, I was honestly baffled. That's how much I fucking love this thing. Its absolutely freakish design, the way you have to switch beam weapons more and more frantically as you fight it deeper and deeper into the Impact Crater, and then you have to pace your missile consumption and decide when is best to use your beam combos - I love it. I love it I love it I love it I love it. It's such a good final exam boss; if it only required bombs or power bombs at any point, it'd be perfect.

Perfect if not for the second phase, anyway. Yeah, I don't need to go into too much detail, because there's nothing new to say. It's the most boring part of the first Prime game, and it's literally the last part of the first Prime game. Nuclear jump rope over and over until it shits out a pool of phazon for you to use, and even then, the overwhelming power of the Phazon Beam as the game's final weapon is undercut by how STUPIDLY tanky this thing is on anything short of easy difficulty. The difference between the two halves of this boss fight are like night and day. If I could only count them separately, the first half would not only stand head-and-shoulders as the best boss in the first game, it would be way higher on the list.

3) Meta Ridley (Prime 1)

Okay, full disclosure, this is a very begrudging placement. The me of a couple playthroughs ago would put Meta Ridley near the beginning of this list out of spite. See, I've only ever played the Trilogy/re-release version of Prime 1, and that version of this boss fight added a new attack where he jumps in the air and then stomps, making a big flaming shockwave. He then does this literally about four or five times in a row, every single time he uses the fucking attack. It was grating, it took forever, it practically guaranteed I'd eventually take serious damage - it single-handedly made me hate this boss fight SO much.

So what happened? Well, I still have only played the Trilogy version - but I figured out that you can just about shoot him in the mouth with a charged plasma beam shot every time he jumps up. I thought this was impossible for the longest time, and so every time he used the stomp attack, I just resigned myself to making absolutely no progress for about thirty solid seconds. Now that I do know this, I've figured out that that's actually the part of the fight where you can do damage to him the fastest - and at the least risk to yourself, unlike his charging-forward attack that will turn you into mincemeat if you don't interrupt it.

So, I owe you an apology, Meta Ridley. Now that I know all the ins-and-outs of your fight, you are the best boss fight in the first game. I understand the hype now, and it's deserved.

2) Emperor Ing

I don't think I've ever understood those people that are really, really into Dark Souls as much as I do while fighting Emperor Ing. The REAL final boss of Prime 2 (no, that last Dark Samus fight does not count) is an absolutely brutally difficult battle on hard difficulty, even if you've gotten 100% item collection before you face him. And... that's kind of what I love about it.

This is a foe that is UTTERLY uncompromising. Either you dominate and destroy it, or you're dead. No in-between. Maybe not in the first phase (if you're like me and just wait until he does that swing-the-tentacles-around-on-the-floor attack and then drop a power bomb), and the second phase is more just for you to recover back to top form than anything else, but the third and final phase? My god. This is the kind of fight I wanted from Quadraxis. I wanted an enemy as brutally lightning-fast and overwhelmingly dangerous as Emperor Ing. Despite his massive size, he's just as, if not MORE agile than the Hunter Ing he resembles. With attacks that change depending on what he's vulnerable to, forcing you to either use the less effective light or dark beam despite the difficulty or unleash the annihilator beam at the risk of running out of ammo, Emperor Ing demands nothing less than mastery - as any ruler should, when you waltz up to take their throne.

1) Dark Samus (Prime 2 First)

God, this fight kicks so much ass. There's no other way to describe the first Dark Samus fight than a knock-down drag-out. She doesn't have that much health, which is reasonable given how early in the game you fight her, but she does FAR more damage than anything else you've faced before her. That combination turns this into a fight that will be over fast no matter how it goes - the only deciding factor is whether you kill her quicker than she kills you.

I think when it comes down to it, this is my favorite Dark Samus fight because it's the one that most perfectly feels like fighting another Samus. The way she leaps around, ducking in and out of cover until that becomes irrelevant as more and more of it gets destroyed, firing shots whenever she sees an opportunity and only being vulnerable as long as she deigns to stay still - that's you. That's how you play Metroid Prime. And you will never realize just how powerful this series makes you until it forces you to fight someone who knows all of the same tricks.

[sydthetiel]

Update Time!

I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but some serious burdens/guilt have been lifted.

Family friend came again today, brought me another grocery order, which has a new can opener (this one better fucking work) and some more cold foods to last the week and stuff. Eggs, salad, etc. I can feel a little better about what I'm putting into my body besides canned crap, without having to spend hours to make it.

She helped me get a huge chunk done of what all those aides were supposed to do with me. We went through foods and organized, cleaned my "ration rack" (which is, as it sounds, a rack which holds the rations for days I can't get out of bed. Chips, crackers, croissants, poptarts, cookies, etc. All the snackies, and some extra drinks, so I no longer have to sleep with all of them.) Ahhh wonderful. It's also out of my path now for trying to get to my office where Syd is currently located. No more squeezing and side stepping. Mentally, that's a load off. Clutter and mess trigger my OCD bad enough to hit me real hard with depression and hopelessness. It's the biggest reason why hoarder Rex is so bad for me.

Syd's new water bowl came. As expected, it was too big to fit in such a tiny hospital cage. It was a two person job to take the top off and install it, and it takes up so very much of the cage. I held Syd, while friend put the top of the cage back on. The sight was so fucking depressing. Friend says to me "I'm gonna buy her a bigger cage." And of course, cages are expensive, so I told her that, and explained this one is so small because it's literally all I could afford, and I feel like the worst dad ever for it. And of course, at this point, we're both crying, because my baby girl deserves better than a tiny fucking cramped piece of shit where she can't even spread her fucking wings, but it's impossible to bring her home cage into my office. It ain't gettin' up the stairs, or through the doorways. Dear fucking gods, no. Friend insists, "We're gonna order a cage today, on your phone, before we leave." And she did. It'll be here in roughly a week. It should (better) be big enough, and it's quite lovely. It has a stand, so I can store her food and all that, and will make an exceptional hospital cage, where Bean can flap and be happy and well cared for. I am in fucking tears. Her gofundme is still up, for vet stuff, but this is fucking HUGE for us! She also said she'll take us to the vet for another Lupron injection, since Syd's horny again, and said she'd pay for the shot!! <333

Between sobbing about trying to figure out how to pay for van repairs, a new hot water heater, and a new furnace, and a shut off notice for the electric because once again Rex didn't pay it, not having to worry about shelling out an extra $100 or so on a hormone injection is just... such a fucking weight lifted.

On top of that, Daddy's getting some needs met, too now! She assembled my shoe rack! No more bending or tripping over all my shoes! They're right there! Aaaand I finally have my new massager. It's been sitting in a fucking filthy box for like two years, and she helped me get it clean, so now I have that. As soon as I got situated in bed tonight, I tried it out. The pleasure screams I felt as it massaged the knots out of my agonizing back and shoulders is just... oh gods. Probably sounded like a whole ass orgy up in here. Actual goddamn pain relief! PAIN RELIEF!!!!!!

I ate twice today, and finally had some decent hydration, too. Huge boost. I no longer detest the idea of my chicken and gravy tray. Meal plan for tomorrow!

Sunday, she's coming back, and we're gonna tackle some more stuff. I can't fucking wait. I mean, I would really love a weekend with my girlfriend, and some rest, but also, just... a clean environment is so fucking good for my mental health. And it makes me happy that they'll take all the outdated foods I won't eat, so I don't have to feel like a douchebag for wasting it and throwing it out. They're happy to eat it, and I feel like I can give something back for all the help, while also clearing out all the space.

We got a game plan for downstairs, and will start making dents in that.

But honestly... This huge chunk done today is... the kind of support I needed to feel like I might actually survive? I mean... it's still grim. The debts, the bills, the taxes not being paid. The gofundme is still just as fucking urgent as ever in order to not go homeless. In order to get heat and hot water and transportation back. But I don't feel quite as stranded and alone.

We most definitely still need like $2,000 for the van repairs, and $3,000 for the water heater and furnace, and uh... like $6,000 for the backed taxes and another $5,000 for this year's taxes.

But I don't have to cry about not being able to give Syd a better cage, or Lupron, and I have some better access for my own self care. Pain relief is so wonderful. Especially when healthcare providers are failing me so miserably.

Gofund.me ($5 min donation according to their standards) Other options (as much or as little as you can spare <3): Ven.mo: @rroche90 Pay.pal: Rory Roche (Can't miss my portrait of Dean Winchester!)