#this was actually pretty endearing of him

[fairestwriting]

RAHHHH, I LOVR YOUR WRITING!!!!

Can I kindly request for Leona, Jade, and Idia with a Hyper! Reader?

Like, Reader is up for everything and anything and is always either preparing for shenanigans or doing them.

ah yes. the trio i am definitely not biased towards when it comes to writing stuff (TYSM im glad you like it!!! i hope you enjoy this too <33

𐙚 Leona Kingscholar

It’s a good thing that you’re so lively, you can just have energy for the two of you, is the sort of thing you’ll hear from him a lot. Always seasoned with his signature snarky feeling, sometimes he’s more exasperated, and other times, he can actually sound quite fond and sweet.

The “Herbivore” nickname isn’t going away anytime soon, that’s for sure. It’s more than just a little jab at how non threatening you come off— You honestly kind of remind him of a rabbit. If you ask him to elaborate he says it’s because you’re “always hopping around and sticking your nose into other people’s business”. If you ask him for further explanation he says you’re just proving his point by being too curious.

To anyone who knows how to read him, it becomes quite visible that he’s really very unsuccessful at concealing how endearing he thinks your antics are. He’ll never miss an opportunity to tell you he’s absolutely not going to join you on whatever you’re up to that day, and yet… he’s always there to say these exact words.

You might manage to convince him to take you out on some fun dates, things like going to amusement parks or arcades. He actually really enjoys it, despite always playing up that unamused, grumpy act. Most of the time he’ll just stand on the sidelines and watch while you have your fun, but it’s not that hard to bait him into following you to the roller coaster. At the end of the day, he tells you he hopes you’re satisfied because he won’t be indulging you again too soon— Something you can easily prove wrong in about a week or so.

𐙚 Jade Leech

He’s always not-so-secretly overjoyed to hear about any new troublemaker type that might pop up into Azul’s radar. These people are always the most interesting to observe, after all. So even before you two actually spoke, you’ve been keeping him more than engaged.

Jade has no desire to actively cause anything that might count as mischief… or at least that’s what he says. It’s not a full blown lie, but the key word here really is “actively” — Any antics of yours that he can support will be supported. Whether by conveniently making others too intimidated to get in your way, or sharing little hints of possible interesting things to do around school. It takes him some time to start actually tagging along, even if it’s just to stand around and watch you having your fun, but when he starts to do it, he’s pretty much become your new henchman.

While he mostly keeps to himself, if you show any interest in going on hikes with him, or learning about mushrooms and such, you’ll find that he can match your energy level quite easily. Jade is actually a bit surprised at your enthusiasm when it comes to that, he’s always wondered how it’d be like to explore the woods with a partner. Very quick to make new hiking plans, even quicker to think of multiple creative ways to use up whatever you picked while out.

He finds himself smiling and laughing a lot when he’s by your side. Of course, he already does both often in general, but it’s different when he’s with you. You always have some new, interesting topic to talk about, paired with a remarkable skill to find entertaining points about seemingly anything, it’s really contagious to him.

𐙚 Idia Shroud

Thinks it’s a miracle someone like you ever became interested in him. Shouldn’t a pessimistic, anxious introvert just come off as boring to someone who’s so bright and active? For a good while, Idia just couldn’t understand how you’d even fit him into your world. You two are just so different—

He would’ve probably rejected you out of sheer hopelessness if it wasn’t for the fact that… pairing a cheerful character with a gloomy one is, in fact, a pretty popular romance trope in anime. A part of him, sort of shyly and almost guiltily, hoped that he would get to have that in real life one day.

The fact you’re even open to indulging his interests definitely helps to bring you two closer. He was so anxious about showing you anything he liked, even if it was some popular game everyone in school is talking about, it’s just too nerdy for someone like you, isn’t it? Sometimes he’s still comically surprised whenever you mention liking a game or something like that. But he can get over his nervousness pretty quickly when you suggest playing together, even if it’s just on call.

When you’re messing with other people, he likes watching it from afar. Texts asking for updates on how your latest plans are going. If he can, he’ll even bail you out of trouble, it’s not like it’s that hard to make one of the school cameras just stop working for a little bit… And he really likes your reactions to him doing things like that, the way you praise his skills with so much enthusiasm. It really makes him feel like he’s won in life, honestly.

if you like my work you can support me by commissioning me or tipping me on ko-fi ── ᵎᵎ ✦

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Okay but consider this...

Lillith did not, in fact, order Alastor to go to the hotel or protect Charlie (per say)

In fact, she might have slapped the exact opposite order on the deer, because she knew what a nightmare he could be.

It would be inifinitely more fun to have her reveal that when she drops in for a visit.

"So you sent Alastor here to protect me?"

"My dear, I told him explicitly not to fucking come here in order to protect you. But he's a wilful bastard and I should have known better." Lillith sighed, rubbing her eyes.

"So why did you come here?"

"Why, pure spite and a desire for entertainment my dear. Why not?"

"...if that's true, why didn't you ask for my soul in our deal? I... would hope my mother would trade it for your own."

"She may have, she may not have. She could just force me to release it to her too, you know that's in her power."

"That didn't answer my question..."

Lillith laughs, "Darling, I think you actually endeared yourself to the Overlord when you fought that horrid mantis woman on television. He genuinely enjoys that level of chaos... and the fact he remained against my many subtle attempts to have him leave, means perhaps the stubborn deer might actually like you."

"Preposterous, it's mere entertainment..."

"Like Rosie? Like Vox? Are they entertainment? You let her hug you and didn't even try to bite Charlie once. Oh don't get steamed, deer, I'm just yanking your tail... it's not a bad thing to care for someone. And my-... Our darling daughter..." here she winked, having scryed the initial song battle between Alastor and Lucifer, grinning widely. The two were so similar when it came to theatricality, and yet, so different in terms of everything else. "here is just the sort of creature that no one but the bleakest of fools could fail to care for."

"...how dare you imply I have any emotions, you wretched diva." The tone was mock offence and joviality, and only Lillith's echoing laughter stopped Lucifer from defending her majesty's honour.

"Oh, you do, and I'm sure you're quite fawn'd of Charlotte, you antagonistic anachronistic ancient artifact." She bounces back, airily.

"Ho, I know one should never ask a lady her age, but I don't think there's a number high enough for you to provide in answer."

"I missed these little banter sessions, Bambi, it got quite boring without someone mocking my every waking moment."

"And your husband is a poor substitute for your cruel wit, Siren, and yet... we made do with what we had. Now, how are you here? I thought Adam's little nonsense kept you pinned in place?"

"I believe Niffty took the pest out on my behalf and snapped the threads binding me there. Do get her something pretty from Rosie's and put it on my account, I know the demonic doll will adore anything from her boutique."

"Hello, can I get a word in edgewise?" Lucifer has this too-cheerful grin on his face, waving his hand like an eager student aiming for the attention of the teacher. "Hi, your husband, hello. Quick question, what the fuck are you talking about? How do you know the bellhop? How is Adam involved in any of this? And again, what the FUCK is going on here?"

"Oh... did I not say, my love?" Lillith coos, a trembling note that she knew angels used between one another to help settle ffrazzled nerves. It was always a delightful amusement to see Lucifer's ruffled feathers settle. Intriguingly, the little ex-orcist does to, and then looks confused about it. "Why, I was trapped in Heaven with my boorish first fool of a 'husband', to prevent more 'rebellion nonsense'. I had to make a rather clever deal to help Alastor get back to Hell, and I technically own his soul... but we've been friends for decades, dear. You've met twice..."

Ah, that might be why Alucard was so pissed to be dismissed, Lucifer realises. Wouldn't be the first time he'd forgotten a face.

"Charlie was abooooout ten at the time, in terms of age, my dove..." Lillith prompts. "The television sinner was there too? Do you recall that?"

"...no. But a lot of those decades were a foggy mess." Lucifer admits, trying to work out how he forgot a guy with a tv for a head. Wait, he remembered the guy with a tv for a head. "Did the television have a yellow sweater on and I kept subtly asking how the fuck he managed to get it on given the neckhole didn't seem that stretchy?"

Audience applause played from the air. "That's the one. The secret was, of course, velcro down the back. He'll say he used his powers to put it on, but he didn't have that ability back then." Alastor explains. "I do believe it was a vaguely productive meeting, even if you were only physically present, your Lowness. Why, I recall we'd taught deer Charlotte at least four new swear words by the time we left..."

Charlie, whose eyes were wide as she Recalled Something, felt her mouth fall open. "Oooooh, so you're the ones who taught me to say [very long and complicated series of words that seem to be sending Lucifer into a state of rage as yet unattainable to sinners with every syllable]... right? I said that to dad when he told me it was bathtime and I didn't want to, and he had to go set something on fire before he came back to talk about 'good words and bad words'."

Vaggie looked horrified, and snapped a glare at the radio demon.

Alastor's grin was WIDER than it should be possible to get. "Are you telling me, my dear Charlotte, was that his Majesty's tantrum was the reason that half of pentagram city was burned to the ground shortly after we left that day? Oho, that's just... delicious."

"Well I shouldn't have said it..." Charlie agonised, "I'm sorry Dad. I mean, it was a while ago,but..."

"Oh, you're not to blame Char-Char... this fucker is." Lucifer launches for Alastor, whose tendrils are manifesting... and then a startled bleat escapes as Lillith yanks him practically into her lap by the collar.

"Hold, Luci, there was no harm done in the long run. And you know I found it hilarious, in the aftermath." Lillith waves it off. She turns to the Overlord trying to right himself. "And you, you terrible influence, I do hope you haven't taught our darling anything worse while I was away?"

Charlie, caught back on the bleat sound, is watching on with stars in her eyes. She blinks. "What? No, he hasn't... well, unless you count [a strange warbling static came out of her mouth as her lips moved in what seemed like words]?"

Alastor's ears went flat in shock. "I promise you I didn't teach her that... I had no idea she could even hear that frequency, nuch less verbalise it!"

"I heard you tell Vox he should-..."

"DO NOT REPEAT THAT!" Alastor just about begged as static spilled about the room. "Do you WANT your parents to reduce me to atoms?"

Charlie blinked. "No? It was a pretty creative threat, but it wasn't that bad..."

Lucifer was pulling at a mental thread from the conversation. "Hold on, can we back up to the part where the deer was in Heaven...? How did that happen?"

Angry static filled the room until it was oppressive. Vaggie clutched at Charlie's arm whilst also putting herself between Charlie and the Overlord.

"Enough of that..." Lillith murmured and tugged at an antler. She received an indignant noise that Alastor wouldn't ever admit to with a gun to his head. "They were going to find out eventually you overdramatic cervine... might as well out with it."

The ears pinned flat. "No."

"Fine, I will... this canibalistic mass-murdering psychopath somehow got accidentally redeemed whilst fending off angels during an extermination. I strongly suspect it was because, even though they had just been fighting to the death, he still put himself in the way of those who would have killed Vox..."

Charlie was flickering between shock, anger, confusion and something that looked like it wanted to be weepy and affectionate. Hopefully she didn't settle for the latter because Lillith and Lucifer would have to pin the deer in place to avoid Alastor throwing himself out a window to avoid the whole mess.

"You... you knew it was possible... and you didn't TELL ME?!" Charlie yelled, settling on Anger.

Alastor grins, "Well, you never directly asked, did you?"

Charlie steamed, then pivoted in the old Charlie Fashion (TM) to joyful. "It's possible?!"

Lillith also adds, "From what I have heard around Heaven, it may not have been the first time... they just keep it quiet. And... well, if someone gets up there who starts doing things like, say, eating Cherubs because they were furious they were trapped there... they usually just killed them off. Unless, of course, they had the Queen of Hell there who could convince them to try another way."

"You ate CHERUBS?! They're like CHILDREN?" Lucifer is aghast.

"They are infuriatingly too-positive little nightmares with no common sense or ability to accept anyone else's viewpoint. Yes. they were delicious."

"...well, okay they're a bit of an experience but eating them?!"

"Most of them are centuries older than myself, they had enough time to learn to back off. I warned them, they persisted, I got to try angelic veal..."

Vaggie looked like she wanted to throw up. "Don't. ever. say that phrase again."

"What, angelic ve-...?"

"You stop taunting my future daughter in law or I order you to let them pet your tail." Lillith warns. It's an empty threat, she was a major proponent of bodily autonomy (anyone who'd been trapped with Adam would be) but Alastor didn't need to know that.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I would. Now, shall I continue? Lovely. We made a deal, with Adam cosigning because I was under his contract, to allow Alastor to return to Hell as a Sinner... with a few rules that the oaf created. Particularly the one around not raising an army against Heaven, and some poorly worded nonsense about not sharing the secrets of angelic steel and implying he should not be 'fucked with' which we took to assume meant no fighting the fool. Because he certainly made passes at both of us."

Lillith's mouth turned down in distaste. Alastor looked like HE was going to be sick.

Lucifer's expression flickered demonic. "If he wasn't dead, I'd kill him again..." After everything Lillith went through in the Garden, to be trapped with a man who could never learn from his mistakes, was blind to making them. Revolting.

"Didn't want to take the Dickmaster for a spin, Bambi?" he snipes, distracting himself with the casual patter of argumentation with the overlord.

"Why, your majesty, I was busy with your wife... although comparatively, I do have good time management skills, I suppose I COULD have managed if I tried..."

"You did WHAT?!"

Lillith was trying so hard to keep a straight face as she threw a pseudo seductive expression at Alastor. "Oh darling, he's not ready to know about that..." she purrs. She sees her husband attain an almost orange colouring. "We're joking, dear... I promise."

"Dad? Try counting to te-... fifty-seven." Charlie intervenes.

"One, two-... wait, why 57?" he says, colour settling again.

"Because the number was so unusual you'd get curious about it and drop out of your funk to ask."

"...you really are so clever, Char-Char, we really made something amazing when we created you."

"Daaaaaaaaaaad, please... not in front of Vaggie." she flushes.

"Unclench, your Lowness, your wife is aesthetically pleasing but we are but friends." Alastor shrugged.

"Because you liked Vox, right?" Lucifer was awarding himself a mental medal because he REMEMBERED bits of the conversation. Wasn't that sad?

Alastor snarled. "Hardly." Oooh, that seemed like a sore spot. Time to press.

"Didn't like you back, huh? Fair. I can't fucking stand you, and-..."

"Lucifer, leave it." Lillith said. It wasn't harsh or sharp, but it conveyed that she knew something about why the Overlord's expression had fallen behind that smile, even as he forced whatever emotion that meant back into a box and reasserted the mask. "It's complicated, and now is not the time for that conversation. Suffice to say, no one slept with Adam outside of his exorcists, but I did manage to get Alastor back to Hell as swiftly as I could in order to have him covertly assisting Charlie."

"How? If you wouldn't let him at the hotel, then how does that help?"

"Destabilise the Overlords, be more lenient about the souls on his chains trying out the hotel, spread information about the place in a covert manner that wouldn't get a target on you, so many underhanded things my dear. Though, I am glad he disobeyed... I hadn't realised how little you understood of management and staffing."

"Heh, yeah... it was the best we had."

"Charlotte, you could have ordered palace staff to come and help at the hotel, you were always too kind."

"Oh, I dismissed them when you left with Charlie..." Lucifer adds, sheepishly.

"It seems there is a lot I need to do in the interim, then." Lillith sighed. "Alastor, would you be open to helping me manage these tasks, even without the deal in place?"

"...I kept the last hotel together with magical duct tape and elbow grease, it's a matter of pride now to continue in the role." Alastor shrugs, as if unconcerned. The collar shatters with a snap of elegant pale fingers. "Thank you... now, what was it you needed seen to? I will need to schedule in a few hours to go and tear the Vees limb from limb, but outside of that, my calendar's quite open."

"Wait, we need to discuss everything we just learned! I have questions!"

"Later, Charlotte. Now is the time for action..." Alastor replies, radio dial eyes flaring, already planning on how he would prepare the Vees for dinner.

"How dare you talk to our daughter that way, Alastor, deer?" Lillith teases, tugging at his ear and laughing as he snaps his teeth at her fingers. "Oh, don't fight in front of Charlotte, she'll end up with a complex or something..."

"On top of her glaring daddy issues you mean?"

Alastor doesn't like the way Lucifer's expression goes from furious to cold, cruel delight in a heartbeat. "Well, it's on you to fix now as well, bellhop... seeing as you claimed her too. So, how about some..." the world seemed o slow down like a horror movie, "Family... therapy...?"

"...If you'll excuse me, I'm going to beg Vox to kill me."

Charlie leaps for him, "No, he's kidding!"

"So am I, Charlotte... do take a breath. Your parents are apparently comedians this afternoon, and I think we'd all best steer clear of them until whatever madness has swept over them, passes. Now, would you like to come and watch me dismember an overlord? You and Vagathat could even tag-team Velvette if you wished..."

Vaggie looks like she might pass out.

His ears flatten. "Ah, I believe I hit another slang term and I'm not going to like what it really means... am I?"

Lucifer curls half his wings around the Overlord, as one might companionably sling an arm over their shoulder if they were at comparable heights. Clearly having decided that he can torment the other better if he REALLY leans into this madness between them all.

He steers the deer towards the corridor as Lillith follows behind, unwilling to miss the fuss.

"Well, you're gonna love this, Al... husbando nuero uno, honey, deerly beloved, blood moon of our life..." Laying it on thick, but Al looked ready to claw his own ears off with each passing endearment. "...but tag-teaming used to mean fighting in tandem, and now it means-..."

The door clicks shut, but seconds later every radio in the c=vinciity blasts an air raid siren and something that sounds mysteriously like a clown falling down the stairs.

Charlie counts to ten, breathing hard.

"What the fuck is my life...?" she whispers.

Vaggie consoles her as best she can, tossing up if Charlie outweighed the insanity of her family enough to propose. She blanches, momentarily, imagining having to ask Lucifer and Lillith and Alastor's permission, before catching herself.

Sure just the first two, right?

Right?

But then she recalled the look in the royal couple's eye, and their infamous penchant for committing to the bit... and resigned herself to like, dragging a sinner home and offering it to the deer for his blessing. Or something insane like that.

"No matter what, I love you, Charlie..." she murmurs externally. "Let's go take a walk in the garden to calm down, okay?"

"...yeah, I could use fresh air after all this."

There'd be so much to talk about later, so much to ask... but for now?

Charlie needed cuddles and connection.

And, based on the sounds downstairs, someone needed a first aid kit or a priest... so they'd be taken the back staircase to avoid all that. The smoke alarms began to blare.

Vaggie tugged Charlie away from the choas just a little faster.

----------

no idea where this was going, it spiralled on me

it could be funny tho

[sophsbookstore]

First Family Snow Day

Auston Matthews x reader ｡･:*˚:✧｡

Word count: 1408

Hockey Masterlist

It was one of those perfect winter mornings in Toronto. The kind where the snowflakes fell gently from the sky, coating the ground with a soft, white blanket. Inside your cozy home, the fire crackled in the hearth, the warmth contrasting beautifully with the chill outside. You were sipping your coffee, glancing at your daughter Chloe as she giggled from her playpen, shaking a rattle in her little hands.

Auston was in the kitchen, prepping breakfast. His usual morning routine was filled with an odd mix of focus and absent-mindedness. You loved it.

“Hey, babe,” you called out to him, eyes flicking to Chloe as she started to crawl toward you.

“Mhm?” Auston answered, stirring something in the pan. He was still in his sweatpants, hair messy as usual, but you found it endearing.

You set down your mug and walked over to Chloe, scooping her up in your arms as she made little baby noises, her chubby cheeks flushed with excitement. “What do you think about taking Chloe out in the snow for the first time?” you suggested, a smile tugging at your lips.

Auston froze, his spatula halting mid-air. “Wait… what?”

You chuckled at his wide-eyed expression. “I mean, she’s never played in the snow before. And it’s a perfect day for it—look how much is falling! We can bundle her up in her snowsuit and go make snow angels or something.”

“Uh… I don’t know.” Auston’s tone was cautious, his brow furrowing slightly. “She’s still so little, what if she gets cold? Or worse, what if she eats the snow?”

You laughed at the image of Chloe scooping up a handful of snow and sticking it in her mouth. “She’s not going to eat the snow, Auston.”

He let out a nervous laugh. “But what if she does?”

“You’re such a worrywart,” you teased, but you could see the genuine concern in his eyes. Auston was, in every sense of the word, a protective father. And you loved him for it. “She’ll be fine. I’ll make sure she’s warm, and we’ll be outside for like… twenty minutes, tops. It’ll be cute. Trust me.”

Auston glanced at Chloe, who was now trying to grab at his pant leg, her tiny hands reaching up to him. “I don’t know. I’m just not sure she’s ready for the snow… or the cold. It’s pretty cold out there.”

You laughed again and pulled him into a playful hug from behind, resting your chin on his shoulder. “You’re such a softie. She’s tougher than you think. Besides, I know how much you love snow. I’m sure you’ll have just as much fun as she will.”

He sighed, running a hand through his messy hair, and glanced out the window. He looked back at you with a defeated look. “Fine. I’ll do it. But I’m staying with her the whole time. No way I’m letting her out of my sight.”

“Deal,” you agreed, laughing as you let go of him. “You’ll have a blast. I promise.”

Auston stood by the door, holding a bundled-up Chloe in his arms like she was a fragile porcelain doll. The snowsuit you’d found for her was absurdly puffy, making her look like a tiny marshmallow. Auston’s jacket was zipped up to his chin, and he wore a face that screamed “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

You giggled at the sight of him, already in full protective dad mode. “You look like you’re about to go play goalie, not take Chloe out in the snow.”

“Hey, I’m just being careful,” he muttered, his eyes scanning the front yard. “It’s really cold out here.”

You slipped your boots on and grabbed your own coat. “It’s not that bad. You should feel it when we’re actually out on the rink. This is nothing.”

You opened the door and a gust of cold air hit your face, but you didn’t mind. Chloe blinked at the world outside with wide, curious eyes. Auston took one careful step onto the porch, shifting Chloe slightly as if she might fall apart at any second.

You laughed, walking past him. “Come on, Auston, you’re acting like you’ve never been outside in the snow before.”

He followed you hesitantly, keeping Chloe close. “I’ve been outside in the snow. But she hasn’t. And she’s my baby. I need to protect her.”

You bent down and scooped up some snow, forming a tiny snowball in your hand. “Watch this.” With a quick motion, you tossed the snowball gently at Auston’s chest, hitting him with a soft “thud.”

“Hey!” he grinned, clearly more relaxed. “That was supposed to be for Chloe!”

You giggled. “She’s not old enough to throw snowballs yet, but I’m sure she’ll be able to defend herself soon enough.”

Auston laughed, the tension lifting off his shoulders. He lowered Chloe carefully to the ground, keeping one hand on her at all times. Chloe let out a surprised giggle, her tiny hands reaching out to touch the snow for the first time.

“Oh my God, she’s so cute,” Auston said softly, his eyes filled with warmth.

You couldn’t help but agree. Chloe, in her puffy snowsuit, was the epitome of adorable as she bent down and clumsily touched the snow, her little face scrunching up as she felt the cold for the first time.

She looked at both of you like she was waiting for some sort of approval, and then, out of nowhere, she let out a big squeal of laughter.

Auston’s face lit up, and you watched as he knelt down beside her, guiding her hand to make a tiny snowball. “Here, Chlo, you just do this…” he said, showing her how to pack the snow.

You caught the moment on your phone, the soft snowflakes drifting down around them as Auston patiently demonstrated the art of snowball-making to a one-year-old. “She’s going to be a hockey player for sure,” you teased, your heart swelling at the sight of them.

Auston shot you a look. “Not if she decides to play in the NHL and do ballet. She’s going to be multi-talented.”

You laughed. “That’s a lot of pressure for a one-year-old.”

“Well, I’m just saying,” Auston smirked, standing up and brushing the snow off his pants, “she’s got my genes. She’s going to be amazing.”

“Your genes?” you snorted. “Right. The genes that had you tripping over your own feet at eight years old?”

Auston glared at you, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “I was learning. I wasn’t tripping. I was… testing gravity.”

“Uh-huh. Sure,” you teased. “I’m sure gravity wasn’t testing you right back.”

Auston laughed, but his focus quickly shifted back to Chloe, who had, of course, tried to eat the snow.

“No, no, sweetie,” he said gently, pulling the snow out of her mouth with a wince. “Yucky. You don’t eat that.”

You chuckled. “See? You were worried about that.”

“I knew it was going to happen,” Auston replied, shaking his head as Chloe giggled, clearly amused by her father’s frantic concern.

After a few more moments of playing in the snow, Chloe started to shiver slightly, and you quickly scooped her up, heading back inside. Auston followed you, his expression still a little worried.

“Do you think she’s okay?” he asked, reaching to take Chloe from your arms as you kicked off your boots.

“She’s fine, Auston. She had a blast out there. We’re going to warm her up with some hot chocolate.”

“Hot chocolate, huh?” he grinned. “I’ll admit, that sounds pretty good right now.”

You put Chloe down on the couch and wrapped her in a cozy blanket. “I’ve got marshmallows, too. The real treat.”

“Now we’re talking.” Auston plopped down next to you, pulling Chloe into his lap and kissing the top of her head. “Maybe snow days aren’t so bad after all.”

You smiled, watching him and Chloe together, the snow still falling softly outside. “Yeah, maybe not. But you’re still the softest dad I know.”

He looked over at you with a raised eyebrow. “Hey, I’m tough. I just care about my baby.”

“I know, Auston,” you grinned. “And she’s lucky to have you.”

And as you sat there with your little family, sipping your hot chocolate and watching the snowfall, you couldn’t help but feel like you were living the sweetest moments of your life.

[wishbonedean]

If I saw these messages on my brother's phone and saw how much he's worrying all by himself, I too would playfully mock him about his hubris and reaction to ghost pepper jerky, just to give him something else to think about.

[fatedroses]

I offer Zenos pen sketches, except this was his goofy ass ARR phase: also known as his early military career stuck doing grunt work and traffic control in the capital.

[freebooter4ever]

old article i read during lunch ...

[borgialucrezia]

ok we talked too much about showtime's the borgias, cesare/juan's cain and abel parallels, the murder of juan, and how the fratricide's aftermath affected the depiction of cesare's story. but can we now talk about the real historical cesare and how much he adored juan, despite his flaws? the fact is, even when he scolds him and shows his outright disbelief in him in their letters to each other, he does it with calmness, affection, and a sense of humor? when juan was appointed as the papal army leader, cesare's response letter to juan was delightful, specifically that part when he was like, "i am all the more happy for the very great love i have for you." and the fact he signs his letter to him with "from your brother who loves you as he loves himself" (which was used in a negative context in the borgias), while juan signs his letter to cesare with "from your obedient brother, duke of gandia." cesare was never condescending to juan and he had never reprimanded him. in fact, he has always gently guided him into behaving better with a direct tone.

after juan's sudden assassination, it wasn't just their father who fell into a paroxysm of grief. cesare was also affected, as he became too bitter and anguished. the untimely fate of his brother caused him such a psychological complex for the rest of his life that he became the cruelest man in italy, but his state became troubled. especially after he inherited a position that was previously held by his brother before his violent death, which caused him to have dark premonitions and anxieties about suffering a similar fate.

there's also an interesting line from gustavo sacerdote's (an italian essayist) biography, in one of his lines, there are moments about cesare's manners and methods toward his family: "the letter from cesare borgia is also interesting from another side. it is one of the few pieces of writing from his private and family correspondence that have come down to us; [...]we want to stick to the words contained in it, the fraternal love that flows from it, from the first to the last word, shows us an affectionate, effusive cesare, full of tenderness for his younger brother, very different from the grim borgia, which from history usually appears before our eyes."

[suhnandmoon]

DWMB JAKE BREAKDOWN PLZZZZ he's one of my fav people ever he's such a silly guy.. he doesn't have a clue in the world i quote him often

HAHAHA you’re gonna open up the dwmb jake lore rabbit hole i have stored…. its lowk so boring actually putting it under the cut so i can have a space to info dump

also doesnt have a clue in the world that you quote him is taking me out thats so funny

less of a breakdown, more of my beef with the guy who inspired him:

okay so ive mentioned this before but dwmb started a year before i wrote it with only two ideas on a google document: riki was a jjk fan and jake was this guy i knew. everything you see in jake’s instagram introduction is like a near replica of this guy who followed me on instagram a bit ago. my friends and i call him bibleverse. funnily enough his name was jacob. scarily close to jake.

cringe ass instagram layout. his name in his bio was 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓷𝓽. had his own ‘philisophical’ quotes as posts, pinterest photo dumps mixed with his own photos, TOM AND JERRY LIMINAL SPACE REEL REPOST. i went and found the exact video he reposted for that chapter.

and normally when people follow me on instagram that i have mutual friends with i’ll follow them back because im not famous like that. this guy was actualy Too much i was like i need to unfollow him. but the problem was his posts ended up becoming so ironically funny i could never press the unfollow.

his quote that goes in the hall of fame was: Into the Spiderverse? More like into the Bibleverse 🙏

like got me fucking dead. he was so millennial. but one day (i think it was when i was posting dwmb actually) i checked and he UNFOLLOWED ME. brehhh i was so mad because i wanted to unfollow you this whole time and you beat me to it??)?? why unfollow me like what the hell did i do. sorry im still not over this. petty as hell

taking all my negative feelings away drom mr bibleverse he really did remind me a little of this idea i had for jake. becuase i knew jakes ass was a band kid when he was in school, i always thought if we went to highschool together in like 2018 we’d be friends. he’s also vaguely inspired by a handful of my millennial adjacent friends that i adore a lot more than bibleverse. ive mastered the art of imitating them. my darling private school pals from highschool. and honestly a little bit of me from 2018

[firefl1ezz]

i just. hit s+ rank in splatoon and i never honestly thought this would happen?? am i cool now.. do i get to be a part of the s4? do i get to be watered down to my running joke all the time?

[balleater]

orym is literally my savior when it comes to talking about Any of this at this point.

[anghraine]

Other tangentially related gaming thing: my bff J agreed to yet another run of Mass Effect to help me decompress/distract myself/maintain the even keel that's kind of required by the whole situation, but also difficult as an intensely anxious (if usually composed!) person.

For context: our first Shepard, who romanced Liara, was about as squeaky-clean Paragon as possible to be while still murdering the fuck out of Kai Leng. I had a blast with that one!

Then, we constructed a whole tragic arc for our second Shep, a somewhat older woman with maximal emotional scars (survivor of Mindoir + butcher of Torfan) and a lot more capacity for ruthlessness (we did every Renegade choice we could square with our consciences—no space racism but lots of space murder).

We decided she'd start to find love again with Kaidan, only for him, like everyone else in her life, to die (at Virmire in this case). Then she would experience a more mature and profound love with Thane that would be very gentle and fully reciprocated, yet bittersweet given that they both know he's dying soon. We had the idea that this initially harsh, ruthless Shepard coming to love Thane and diverge from her previous path of bloody vengeance would be really endearing, especially when the dying Thane wants the prayer read for her rather than himself, and then the rapport between Shep and Kolyat would also have this extra pathos, and killing Kai Leng would be even more satisfying.

(It totally was: our Shep was a Vanguard so there was a lot of punching involved, and then J indignantly went "this is for Thane, you fucker" as we stabbed KL.)

Anyway, the storyline did mostly work out, apart from any degree of nuance being rewarded by the game locking us out of cool dialogue options at particularly critical moments. Still, she was super enjoyable and I liked how we got her arc to weave into Thane's despite a bit of underwriting at times, and the idea of Shepard as this ultimately tragic figure who just keeps on living as her loved ones die over and over and over (we chose Destroy to underscore that fate!).

This time, we thought it'd be fun to go for a Shepard who isn't quiiiiiite as squeaky-clean as the first one, but more of a Paragon type than our tragic Shepard. Basically noble, but with more of an edge. She's a survivor of both Mindoir and Akuze, so she's seen some shit, but she's still quite young (we wanted her to be fresh-faced, pretty, yet also visibly scarred and managed all three :D). We particularly wanted a more youthful, impetuous Shepard who is less straitlaced and less world-weary than the previous ones for the Garrus romance, which after all these years, J has never done! And he's played both male and female Shepards to see how most of the romances play out, but not Garrus's specifically.

We thought it'd be especially fun for this Shepard to be a full Adept and for her to be basically a good influence on Garrus's unfortunate cowboy cop ways (we just shout out "RED TAPE!!!!" as a household joke at this point). But we didn't want her to be an elder mentor figure to him or an incredibly noble icon he'd revere so much as for them to be Reaper-fighting bros who help each other grow as people -> FWBs -> whatever happens in ME3.

So we've started our new run with our very attractive scarred Shepard (J: "I think it works for her, she's probably into scars"; me: "I bet Garrus is"; J: "Oh, for sure!") and it's a really nice distraction. Though now I'm thinking about the ME/P&P AU that's been percolating through my brain for upwards of seven months >_>

[sysig]

Getting up to trouble is his speciality (Patreon)

[shaykai]

Does anyone else ever see a character that they don’t think is very pretty until they interact with the character as someone who likes them and then suddenly they’re gorgeous?

[dootznbootz]

I can't stop thinking what if things went like... 😂: Helen: dear goddess, when I said I was into men in uniforms I didn't actually mean... this... [at the back: Menelaus walking around in his seal disguise] Aphrodite: you disapprove? how DARE you?

Then he'd pop his head out of his seal coat, (selkie style???) and then she'd be like

Helen: ...I can work with that. (๑♡⌓♡๑) Forgive me, Lady Aphrodite. Aphrodite: That's what I thought! 😤 GO GET HIM!

After their marriage:

Concerned people: My lady, you're on the beach...with a SEAL. Helen: That is my husband! How dare you? Menelaus, no longer sealy: Yeah! It's me! You got a problem?! People: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

I am getting so much "Among Us" vibes from your latest art. Your mini giant is definitely sus, but I have a feeling that he is not the imposter within the ship. If anything, he's just there for the ride, observing the chaos, and keeping his new buddy close. : )

that's so funny because i'm pretty sure the reason i dreamt them up to begin with was because i had been watching a lot of Lethal Company videos lmao

and yeah, he's not some kind of nefarious imposter here to kill the crew onboard. everyone on the ship knows he's from a fucked up lil eldrich species under his suit. in fact, everyone even warns the human to stay away from him since his species is known for being aggressive when provoked so its best they avoid any risk of getting on his bad side.

to which the human was like "damn that's crazy anyways i'm gonna throw some animal crackers at him and see what happens"

[lyriumsings]

i like a boy and i hate it actually