#this was a long time ago but still

[clownattack]

Tfw u hear the person who pulled so much unhinged shit with several different ppl STILL considers himself a victim

[nipuni]

14 and not 14 😌

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

None of our hands are clean

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[qiinamii]

races and naps

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[jomeimei421]

Felt a bit nostalgic watching RT shut down…Here are the og faves again for old times sake 💙

[linrinkuarts]

Caught me by surprise.

[thatgothsamurai]

cooldown paint ft. Li Ming🌙🐔

+made this for funsies, i should've screenshot more😩 (sorry gifgods for bad gif quality idk how to do this kinda thing)

[bacchuschucklefuck]

we let the ocean drown out our voices/enjoying the bitterness/in the chaotic light, I close my eyes and see

[tubbytarchia]

gg buddy am I right (ethubs doodle that I don't know what to do with)

[squeakadeeks]

LITTLE GUY O'CLOCK

whew!! I've had this idea for a soot sprite cosplay for Litcherally so long, i thought it was never going to happen but lo and behold! here he be!! !!! I was trying to avoid fur projects to give the Dust Situation in my abode a rest but that...did not happen 🤨

This costume is another primarily suede affair, with only a few accent fabrics other than the faux fur. 90% of fabrics were from big z....again. The things of note on this guy are the chubby stars which are all painted novelty stress balls! also the big soot sprite, Augustus, is actually a fur covered beach ball.

I've always gotten a kick out of this design and thought the soot sprites were just endlessly charming, so i'm pretty happy with this project!

[skellagirl]

Back in winter 2022 I started working on a comic of one of my favorite nsfw oneshots, Practical Demonstration, made like five pages, and then promptly dropped it cause I was still in the midst of Art Block From Hell, among other reasons

but the fic series recently got an update and I read it on a flight last week, which has renewed the brainworms :)

The comic's FAR from finished (I've thumbnailed the entire thing and it comes out to twenty-eight pages, while I have thirteen of those pages in varying stages of completion) but I've been having a lot of fun working on it and forcing myself to try and learn new things (backgrounds/environments, in this case) in the pursuit of Harvey Smut LOL

I thought I'd post some WIP shit here, in case ADHD gets my ass and I end up dropping it again 😭 pray for me

[poorlydrawnmcyt]

theyre both sick in the head. just a little

[regular-gnome]

previous

[xxplastic-cubexx]

if i said i picked up this issue for anything but drunk erik i fear i'd be lying

(Wolverine (2020) #3)