#this was a joke by the way
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
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I'm as grateful for cellphones as the next person, but sometimes I think about how everyone having a phone on them at all times really did cause us to loose some things as a society. I mean - for example, kids these days will never experience their car breaking down and needing to find the nearest place with a phone they can use. They're never going to have the opportunity to tentatively approach a house only to discover that it's full of queer people having a party hosted by a transvestite to celebrate his creation of a sex homunculus, stay the night, and loose their virginity while unintentionally partaking in cannibalism. It's tragic, that kind of gay sexual awakening just doesn't happen these days because of cellphones.
#do i have actual legitimate thoughts on how cell phones have altered the fabric of society in both positive and negative ways?#yes.#am i making a dumb joke about rocky horror picture show instead of articulating the complex cultural changes wrought by their ubiquity?#also yes.#in which i say things
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the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right
#woof#like self diagnosis is one thing#but saying someone is autistic because they talk about a specific hobby a lot is weird (and waters down the actual definition of autism)#and its no different than saying someone has ocd bc they organize their books alpabetically#or saying someone has ADHD because they got distracted by something#and people who aren't even autistic are honestly getting way too comfortable with autism jokes
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hindsight
[ID: A two-panel comic with crudely drawn stick figures.
Panel 1: The lime green person is talking to the leaf green person and the moss green person.
Lime: "I... have a confession to make."
Leaf: "Go ahead."
Lime: "I want to rewatch the Wizard Child movies."
Leaf: "Didn't the wizard author get incredibly chromophobic?"
Lime: "Yeah I just... It's nostalgia you know? They meant a lot to me when I was a kid."
Panel 2: The three are on the couch.
Lime: "All right, let's go."
Leaf: "It's so weird how the wizard author just turned chromophobic though. Like I remember this series being pretty good for its time. It'll be weird seeing their work contrasting with their views now."
Moss: "I'm just glad we got the movies for free through normal and legal means. Heh."
End ID.]
[ID 2: Scenes from three Wizard Child movies.
Wizard Child and the Simplistic Morality: A slightly round child with a propeller hat is talking to a child with no hat.
Round child: "I am so fucking fat and greedy I am textually shown to be fat because I am greedy and also evil."
Hatless child: "You are to infer my moral purity from juxtaposition with this fat child. Woe is me for our shared parent has deprived me of a propeller hat."
Wizard Child and the Goodness of Wealth: An adult wizard is talking to the child, who now has a wizard hat.
Wizard Adult: "Wizard child you are secretly extremely rich."
Wizard Child: "I will form biases regarding the bankers all being triangular for some reason!"
Wizard Adult: "Your wealth is deserved because your true parent was Good and therefore you are also Good."
Wizard Child: "Now we should acquire consumer goods. Buy consumer goods!"
Wizard Child and the Dark Family History: A blue-grey horse person is talking to the wizard child.
Blue-grey: "No, wizard child. You don't understand. I am one of the good ones, because unlike the bad ones I don't try to spread my curse that makes you a blue-grey horselike creature to others!"
Wizard child: "Wow uncle blue-grey you are one of the good ones! I forgive you for being a horse because I am so good I would even forgive horses. I sure hope you don't conspicuously get killed off later in this movie!"
End ID 2.]
[ID 3: Oh hell no there are even more of these.
Wizard Youth and the Tokenistic Relationship Dynamics: A square headed wizard youth is talking to the former wizard child, now a wizard youth.
Square Wizard Youth: "Wizard child, as the only person with a square head in this entire series it is my duty to inform you that you are the savior of all people with square heads, too. Let us build a one-sided relationship that only furthers your character development, after which I will immediately lose all plot relevance."
Wizard Youth: "I will do this because I am a maturing wizard youth and need disposable relationships that don't threaten the endgame!"
Wizard Youth and the Escalation of Stakes: The Dark Wizard, a sort of grey-green person with a cloak, is pointing at Wizard Youth.
Dark Wizard: "Wizard Youth, I have returned!"
Wizard Youth: "Dark Wizard! Why are you green now?"
Dark Wizard: "Evil magic made me green! I am green with envy towards all who are good!"
Wizard Youth: "I will not engage with how you are clearly based on fascist ideologies and yet this narrative plays into fascist aesthetic sensibilities!"
Wizard Youth and the Post-Hoc Revelations: The Wizard Youth is leaning over their Wizard Mentor, who is laying in a pool of blood.
Wizard Youth: "Wizard Mentor no! You can't die!"
Wizard Mentor: "It is fine, wizard youth. My death will further your character development into a wizard adult. Also, I was secretly a very very dark purple this entire time. I never brought it up so I could retain narrative approval.
End ID 3.]
[ID 4: Wizard Adult and the Overdue Conclusion. Three panels. I am sorry.
Panel 1: The dark wizard is dueling the Wizard Adult with magic beams.
Dark Wizard: "Evil green beam!"
Wizard Adult: "Good red beam! Despite the enormous variety of magic in this series this is what our final battle looks like!"
Panel 2: Wizard Adult stands victorious over the dark wizard, who is dying on the ground.
Wizard Adult: "In the end, dark wizard, you were defeated because I am morally superior to you."
Dark Wizard: "I was a product of systemic failures. There will be someone like me again someday!"
Panel 3: Zoom in on wizard adult, who says:
"Not if I can help it. Because I am going to be a wizard cop now. The moral of this story is that all systemic issues can be solved by finding a bad guy to beat."
End ID 4.]
[ID 5: Four panels.
Panel 1: Return to the green trio on their couch, watching the TV say "The End." All are are silent.
Panel 2: They are sitting on the couch. Moss is looking at their phone.
Lime: "Yeah so there were maybe a few signs we missed because we were children."
Leaf: "Yeah. A few. Some."
Panel 3: Continue conversation.
Lime: "So what did you think, Moss?"
Panel 4: Zoom in on Moss, who says: "I've been zoned out on my phone since the second movie. They lost me at the magic stuff. Wizards aren't real."
End ID 5.]
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i'll let phie-san say it:
#the vids i've seen on tiktok picking at her immediately get a block...#bitter otaku sitting in their socks in their mom's basement feeling threatened/enraged by a hot successful black woman outnerding them-core#also this kind of criticism is so demoralising and damaging to people who are trying to learn another language#also. accents are NORMAL and not a bad thing#i don't think that the end goal of picking up a new language necessarily has to be sounding native#and i know sometimes the way japanese people react like SUGOIII? *W* when a foreigner says like one (1) word in japanese is joked about#but like... genuinely... i always love when someone clearly has made an effort and took the time to learn some of the language#anyway she can step on those haters <3#also like. it’s just some lines in a song people need to relax…#megan thee stallion#autoplay warning#japan#japanese#language#mamushi
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#For me#green or blue#almost always#But I would eat any one of them if they didn’t have those two#Purple will unfortunately be eaten last 😔#That is just the way of the world#What you eatin first#rey rambles#lmao#lol#meme#memes#dumb shit#funny#funny memes#relatable memes#twitter meme#funny meme#tumblr memes#dank memes#best memes#humor#haha#jokes#meme humor#meme page#meme energy#funny post#funny stuff#funny shit
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You gotta excuse his 1920's ass, he's still learning slangs
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin alastor#alastor#hazbin rosie#digital art#autodesk sketchbook#hazbin hotel fandom#this joke popped in my head while I was working today and I had to draw it out as soon as I got home#serving c*nt with onions and seasoning please#this is way too funny to me help
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My office divvies up part of our caseload alphabetically, and one of our secretaries just sent me a new file that's not in my part of the alphabet. Because I'm so very helpful I responded:
Moments later, the printer in my office fired up and spit out this piece of paper:
#god i love my coworkers#our secretaries are great i adore them#to be clear this was a joke and was taken that way by the secretary in question
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they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes
#book 24#the conversation between the gods at the beginning there is just this#greatest hits#all i say is vicious war crimes in a vague way#and you all start frothing at the mouth like rabid dogs#a lot of yall get the memo with the blorbo tags but also. seeing quite a few strange pulls#not exactly war crimes but Ok#sometimes normal vicious crimes can just be normal vicious crimes ok guys#can yall stop tagging this as israel u guys r fucking weird….#if u see this and think it is a joke about actual fucking horrific war crimes and ethnic cleansing. u may be fucked up in the head#please be normal#will people stop commenting on this please. none of yall r funny#legendary warrior
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sleeping arrangements (not sure tara would ever actually deign to sleep in the same 20ft radius as shovel but who can resist those big shiny insectoid black eyes 🥺)
plus:
#gale dekarios#shadowheart#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#my art#want to promote a greater shovel presence in the fanbase. where is all the shovel content. where is my beautiful daughter#she is gale's familiar. to me.#he may not necessarily *want* shovel#but it's too late now#he's her wizard it might be more apt to say#tara is not in any way shape or form a familiar she's like. his aunt.#also i have GOT to develop a faster way of making things like i have so many dumb joke ideas i can’t be rendering shit. unsustainable! 😭😭
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me whenever i see /pos and /hj: why are you calling me a piece of shit and what do handjobs have to do with any of this :/
#this is joke. light-hearted or /lh if you will#but fr there's GOT to be a better way to indicate these things. esp the /pos one#like i'd rather ppl just write out the whole word it's only a few more letters#vic.txt
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once you hit adulthood a day will come when you’re suddenly like VEGETABLES 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 and it never goes away
#talks#its not about previously disliking vegetables.#I specified adult just because of the way my body started decomposing and rotting once i went meals without.#also i was just making a joke abt myself getting randomly more into vegetables one day. its really not the kind of one sentence post#that should justify weirdly accusatory assumptions
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A young woman is walking outside ████████. It just so happens that today, the 3rd of March 2006, is this young woman's birthday. Though it was seventeen years ago she was given life, it is only today she will be given a name!
What will the name of this gothic young woman be?
> Enter Name.
#should i have waited until march to make this joke? potentially. nevertheless#ART IN REBLOG#my immortal#ebony dark'ness dementia raven way#enoby
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AITA for lying to my dog about food being 'spicy?'
A while back I taught my dog what spicy foods are (by letting her sniff them and saying "Uh oh! Spicy!") and she figured out that it means it'll smell/taste bad and she immediately loses interest. It was initially an accident but it became really handy in getting her to leave food alone if it might hurt her.
Recently though I've started saying "Uh oh! Spicy!" about any food I don't want her to eat. If she's sitting and staring at me eating a regular non-spicy snack and I don't want to share, I'll tell her it's spicy so she'll stop begging for it. She believes me 100% of the time. She does have a 'leave it' command that she obeys as well, but she always acts so sad whenever I tell her to 'leave it' and it's something she wants.
I feel a little bad because she's an older dog (10y/o) and maybe I SHOULD be sharing my snacks with her, but sometimes a man's gotta enjoy his food in peace without a little creature gazing longingly at him the entire time and crying like the world's soggiest beast.
Included is a picture of her making her very best begging face so that everyone can accurately judge how evil I am for lying to her.
What are these acronyms?
#aita#am i the asshole#joke aita#pet tax#thank you op i will now be repeating uh oh! spicy! to myself for days#(in a delighted way)
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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more dragon
#my sketches#one piece#monkey d luffy#monkey d dragon#monkey d garp#real talk and jokes aside i think dragons childhood with garp wasn’t all that bad#since he actually was a marine at some point right so he must have at the very least respected garp#garps way of raising a kid that actually wanted to be a marine must have been somewhat different too#all in all i think leaving luffy to garp wouldn’t sound like such a weird thought to dragon ??#i get why hed go there i mean#garp tho……………..#what was that man even thinking………………….
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