#this volume was a LOT like literally So Much but this panel actually made me laugh out loud

[hikennosabo]

[valeriehalla]

I am so utterly fascinated by “Saki”, the 18-year-running mahjong manga in which you, the reader, become gradually, frog-boilingly aware (over the course of nearly two decades’ worth of mahjong tournaments) that none of these girls are wearing underwear and most of their boobs are slowly expanding.

I need you to understand that I have, like, an anthropological level fascination with this comic. From the perspective of someone who is also a comic artist and writer, two things delight me about it:

the fact that I understand completely how an artist gets from “the fans can have a little hint of skirted asscheek” to “the pussy is completely out on center page” over the course of 18 years; and

the way in which the pussy being out is treated by the characters and diegesis as being utterly unremarkable.

Okay. Point 1. The frog-boiling.

Let me put this in perspective for you. There was already a meme about how the characters in “Saki” don’t wear underwear when I was in middle school. I am thirty now. Okay? And it’s still going.

In the time since, this has stopped being a joke. It is now indisputable canon. This is not because anyone outright says it at any point. It’s because the underwear ran out of places to hide. I’m obsessed with this thought: somewhere in the over 20 volumes of “Saki”, there is a panel in which underwear was objectively deconfirmed. And it would be so hard to figure out where that panel actually is. Maybe the artist didn’t even realize it when she drew it! The frog? Boiling!!

And of course there is also the breast expansion. I don’t know how to put a spin on this. They are just expanding. Like, this happens a lot with artists: you define a character as being, in your mind, “the one with the big boobs”, and over the years you emphasize that trait further and further so that the signal doesn’t get lost in the noise. It’s just that normally—in like a wildly popular manga series about mahjong published by literally Square Enix, for example—normally there would be a point at which the boobs stopped getting bigger. Like, an editor would step in or something. Or you would get to the point where you cannot draw the character in the same panel as her mahjong tiles without her breasts spilling over the tiles, and you’d go, “Well, this is now untenable.”

That did not happen. There is no ceiling. The frog is soup.

Point 2. The complete and utter mundanity of all of this.

It’s like this, okay: there’s no shortage of trashy ecchi manga out there. There’s a million other comics doing wildly bawdier things with wildly more improbable bishoujos.

The vibe with “Saki” is different.

It’s hard to explain this, but it feels like the world of the comic is fundamentally uninterested in the fanservice happening on the page. I cannot describe it as “leering”, because I cannot conceive of a person in the story from whose point of view one would leer. I think the artist is probably into it—I can’t imagine anyone is making her do this—but “Saki” the comic has no opinion on the matter.

There are essentially no male characters in “Saki”. Like, there was one guy? Kind of? At the very beginning? But he is gone now. They put him back in the toybox. He does not exist. It appears to be some level of canonical that in the world of “Saki”, almost all humans are women. Those women are sometimes romantically into each other. According to comments the artist has made on Twitter (which I cannot source), they have lesbian baby technology, so it’s no problem. It’s so much not a problem that the story is about mahjong, instead of any of that.

So, like, the fiction here appears to be this: this is the, like, meta-narrative of the fanservice of “Saki”, right: it’s just normal that they don’t wear underwear and their boobs are arbitrarily big. It’s been normal. It was normal before the story of the manga began. It’s just how things are. Nobody bats an eye about it, and if they do, it’s in sort of a lesbian kind of way so like what’s the problem, we love lesbians here. This is literally normal for girls.

The fanservice simply diffuses into this all-encompassing aura of disembodied, ambient sluttiness. The framing of the panels demands you acknowledge it, and the story demands you already be over it, because it’s mahjong time now, and we’re playing mahjong.

Do you get??? why I’m so fascinated??? Are you not a little enraptured???

Anyway, I have no idea how to end this weird post. I guess the conclusion is that women stay winning????

[bobosbillionsknives]

i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either

Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭

I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖

INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!

I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!

Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.

HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!

Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)

Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!

Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭

this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.

I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.

(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)

Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.

Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)

Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???

Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...

Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.

He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel

This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬

Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.

Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.

And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.

Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.

[libraartz]

Come on Y'all 😐

Warning: Minor spoilers I'll try not to spoil too much

I don't usually made posts like this but I need to get this off my chest. This is about MHA Volume 42 ending. Yall... Omg bro... Yall gotta be shitting me man... I tryna say I'm genuinely dissapointed, not in the ending, but in the fucking fandom bro... Like are yall joking right now? In case you don't know MHA's newest volume has some additonal pages and Horikoshi changed up the ending some you know and what do I see. People complaining about the ending AGAIN and breaking down about the ships. Mostly BakuDeku fans. This is no shade to any shippers since I do multiships on my AO3 as well as rare-pairs so no hate to a lot of yall. But I'm honestly dissappointed in yall because ever since those leaks yall have been going ballistic... As in BALLISTIC on twitter and TikTok. I don't have twitter (And never will) But I've been seeing some screenshots on Tiktok and I just let out a huge sigh. Don't worry I know it ain't all of yall cuz some of yall are chill but I'm sill dissapointed.

People are saying IzuOcha (That's suppose to be implied idk but I'll get to the idk part) are going to ruin Ochako's character development, this that and the third. SOME (if it don't apply let it fly) of yall are some of the most agitating, delusional people I've ever seen bro. It's just like 2021-2022 all over again and now I'm seeing some toxic bakudeku d0x and send threats to people and it hasn't even been a full 24-48 hours. Yall do relize that even if it becomes cannon yall can still ship BakuDeku right? Cuz now yall are setting yourselves back and making the fandom look worse than it already is and stuff like this is why I do my thing on my teeny tiny tumblr and Ao3 account to stay away from yall.

And another thing it's about the hero rankings part (Some spoilers!!!) . I'm seeing people, mostly Bakugo fans complain about Bakugo being 15 in the charts and I'm see a whole bunch of hate towards Monoma and Shoji because they're on the top 10... Yall are some of the most illiterate mfs I've ever seen 😐. Like did we even read the same manga and watch the same anime? Shoji is number 9 (and rightfully so my underrated king, as you mf should 😤✊🏽) because he's like the symbol of peace for heteromorphs. He literally stopped THOUSANDS of heteromorphs from storming the hospital and doing something that would of possibly resulted in bloodshed and set them back three decades at like 16 years old. There was a small panel in chapter 430 where Shoji was shaking hands with some dude (I'll find the link) but it was like a huge deal since the guy was a huge goverment deal (idk but yall know what I mean), Shoji was like idk 17-18. Since his debute he's been doing all he could for hetermorph communities and at 24 he was awarded the Imamura Peace Prize. AS HE MF SHOULD! So ntm on him 🙄✋🏽. And for Monoma, who's grown on me... Ngl I actually like his character now, he was bullied for his quirk and he was told he was sidekick material, basically putting him down since quirks like his are not that recognized. So now that he made it to no. 10 maybe he's able to show young kids with quirks like his that they can do it. Same with Shoji, he's a huge impact on the heteromorph community. Plus they've both gotten stronger during those 8 years.

Now for Bakugo's situation. In Chapter 430 Aizawa told Deku that Bakugo was lowered on the rankings AGAIN because he was cussing out the reporters... Yall he's still able to rise again and plus if he's low now, just IMAGINE what he'd rank if his past of bullying came to light. And remember, Hawks is now a leader of the HPSC, that's in charge of the rankings so he also plays a huge part of how the rankings changed. The ranking's aren't' just about power, it's about popularity and how the heros impact the fans in a way. Like yall need to use yall brains and have some sort of media literacy. Now am I dissapointed Ochaco and Tsu wasn't in the top 20 at least? Sorta but they still have the chance to get higher.

Now please go eat something, drink some water, touch some grass, take a deep breath and calm down. Horikoshi changed the ending only for yall not to be satisfied and people saying that this could be ai is honestly dissapointing considering the about of time and work Horikoshi put into this. This is just like when people were misinterpreting chapter 430 and spreading misinformation and it's happening again. Yall are not satisfied with nothing and I'm starting to see why alot of people don't fw a lot of yall. Like yall seriously need to do the fuck better.

PS: Those who read my AO3, look out for updates on my fics I just trying to juggle school with writing but I should be uploading soon :D

[schoolmysteryno69]

META ANALYSIS - Mitsukou (part 1)

General topic - how they’re written as a one of the romantic couples in the story

Before I start, I need to say few things:

1. I’m not native english speaker. I’m probably going to make a lot of errors and mistakes, mix times, have a lacking vocabulary etc. Please be ready for it. I want to write my meta post anyway, so I would be happy if you will stay to the end with me!

2. If you do not like Mitsukou/hate this ship or anything like that - maybe this post it's not for you. It's totally okay to ship different thing and like different things, I don’t mind. My post is not a starter for a discussion tho, I’m not interested in discourses, argues and hate. I don’t really plan to “prove” anything to anyone or force you to change your mind, whole post is only MY analysis and my point of view. You are not obligated to feel the same way I feel, to see things the same way I see them. 

3. I’m not interested in proving if Mitsukou is going to ever be canon or anything. I don’t know that. I’m also not going to analyze if they’re ever going to be a CANON COUPLE or an ENDGAME COUPLE. It’s only about if they’re written as a romantic relationship, and being written as a romantic couple =/= being a canon couple, they’re a lot of pairs in media that definitely are written as a romantic relationship without them being together ever or being an endgame. I’m not going to speculate about endgame, especially when one of the characters is supernatural and one is a human. 

Okay, I think we can start now!

Let's start from the beginning. Because my first language is not english my post may be a little bit chaotic, putting all my thoughts in at least some order and with at least some sense it's actually hard, haha. In part 1 I will try to cover the first meeting between Kou and the ghost of Mitsuba.

So!

They first met during chapter 18. And it was meeting between Kou and ghost of a Mitsuba Sousuke, so it wasn’t our currently Mitsuba - it worth to mention they're not the same person, even if they are extremely similar, share a lot elements of their personalities, they look nearly the same, and current Mitsuba even share some dead Sousuke's memories because of School Mystery No. 4 Shijima Mei and her Picture Perfect arc. Still - not the same person and Mitsuba Kou met in chapter 18 is not the current Mitsuba. 

At the beginning they're not really that much written as a romantic, their short arc was more like something starting Kou’s personal arc and his development. He got some background, some motivation, some angst, he changed. For most part Kou behaved pretty normal, just like himself - a selfless, lively boy that really wanted to help a lonely, sad ghost that Mitsuba was. (he wasn’t traumatized yet). Even if some of their interaction could be readed with a shippy glasses, there wasn’t anything that was inherently romantic about them. 

I think it's kind of ironic how this is literally their first panel in the manga. Mitsuba literally looks like some kind of eldritch horror and he says “Did you forget about me?”. Yeah Kou, did you? This quite sums some elements of their arc. We know that Kou actually did forget about Mitsuba, who was one of his classmates. Also, Kous' trauma, related to everything that happened to Mitsuba, hunts him for the rest of the story. He also, clearly has a problem with recognition of both Mitsubas, with dealing with Ghost Mitsuba death and with the idea of forgetting someone and leaving someone. We also know that, when current!Mitsuba was made by Tsukasa, he didn’t remember Kou. That's why this quote here is very ironic. 

There is nothing really to analyze here but I find it funny. Yeah, you quite literally just haunted the wrong guy and it’s going to be a problem for you and said guy for the next 15 volumes of the manga. Good luck. 

Even after calling Mitsuba an “evil spirit” Kou still tries to help him and even decides to “take the big tough guy approach” to make Mitsuba feel safer about him. Kou is not really “the big tough guy”, even if he tries to pose as one. He is a 14 yo kid with kind of fucked up situation in life, even, if he doesn’t recognize it yet. 

Maybe you could learn something from Kous stupid earning, mr. boy who DIED in the car accident.

It's definitely not an accident that Mitsuba died hit by a car and Kou has a BIG earning with a big caption “TRAFFIC SAFETY”. Even after reading all chapters up to 103 I’m not really sure how I should interpret this exact symbolism in their relationship, but it's definitely done on purpose by the authors. I think it may symbolize that Kou, with a “traffic safety” earning will save Mitsuba, who previously died in a traffic accident from dying another time? Like, now Mitsuba have Kou by his side and maybe Kou will manage to keep him safe. His earning is mentioned by Mitsuba too many times, it's done so we can notice it, for sure. And I wonder how it turns out. 

It’s the first time Mitsuba suggests that Kou either has some kind of feelings toward him, tries to do something dirty towards him or something similar. Every time he just jokes or tries to provoke Kou or something like that. At first I thought it's just how Mitsuba is, some people love to joke like that, but then I noticed, later in the story, that Kou is quite literally the only person Mitsuba ever does this to. Sure he does not have many friends “his age” but still during the manga it would be possible for him to behave like that toward other characters, but he does not. He jokes like that only toward Kou and I think during the next parts of my writing I will point it out more.

Even after 20 minutes of insulting he is still concerned about Mitsuba. That's so funny and sweet. 

Yeeeaaah sure it totally does not relate in any way to the fact that ghost Motsuba got to die after taking a photo of KOU out of everything yeeeeaaaah nada nope. It's crazy how the authors planned this because Hanako really started as some kind of funny manga about kids and ghosts and supernatural things, but the angst we get later is actually top notch and kinda scary. There was few moments I really had to like, stand up and walk in my room because of the emotions I felt after reading.

Look how happy he is with the idea of being a model to the Mitsubas photos. He is bright, smiling and even blushing. The next ironic thing is how he cried after actually seeing a picture of himself made by Mitsuba. Also I like how prominent his earning is here.

Mitsuba is very particular, he really made pictures only of animals, plants and other non-human things. That's probably why his photo of Kou hit me like a train. That's literally narratively confirming that Mitsuba saw Kou as something (someone) he likes, someone that is important to him. Kou also realized it after seeing the picture, that was one of the reasons why he was so devastated.

There are few things about that whole scene I would like to point up. The first are doves. Mitsuba, especially Ghost Mitsuba, is often presented with doves as a form of his symbolism. Doves and cherry blossoms are probably the most prominent symbols of his character. I’m not really that good when it comes to symbols, but I think doves symbolize things like peace, but also some form of innocence/purity and love. Some sources also say about transformation and spirituality. I think one of the reasons for choosing doves is to symbolize how he didn’t deserve to die like that, that his soul is actually good and seeks for peace. In Kou’s eyes he is also someone innocent, definitely. Especially when we are talking about ghost Mitsuba at the beginning of a story. 

ALSO I’m pretty sure birds are foreshadowing to current!Mitsuba being made from the school mystery no. 3 who looked like a bird and who current!Mitsuba gained a lot of his characteristics from. Current!Mitsuba hair looks like feathers, his hand looks like talons etc. He is heavily associated with birds from the beginning. Even if Ghost!Mitsuba is associated with doves more and current!Mitsuba with ravens or crows. 

The next thing about this scene is Kou finally realizing he knew Mitsuba and it hit him. Understanding that Mitsuba actually KNEW Kou and it was Kou who didn’t remember him probably made him feel remorse and generally really bad about himself. That’s not a nice thing if you forget about a boy who was with you in a class, and the fact that ghost Mitsuba actually tried to talk to him and asked him “Did you forget about me”... It's hard for me to even imagine what Kou felt at that moment. 

Also, Mitsuba surely didn’t know about Kou being from an exorcist family, so he wouldn't expect that Kou will take direct action after meeting a ghost lol. If it comes to Mitsuba, I’m pretty sure it was very scary.

I wish we could see more of them like that. Just like two boys having fun with each other. I love angst, trust me. But I think they deserve rest and to just have a chance to play and talk a be… normal for once. Everytime when they get a chance to have fun they’re cute and hilarious together. 

Rain can symbolize sadness and hard emotions soooo yeah, I’m not surprised it started raining. I think it sort of symbolizes feelings of both Kou and Mitsuba here.

They’re going to the third floor and I’m sure it's foreshadowing to Mitsuba becoming a School Mystery no. 3. 

I’m still impressed how much foreshadowing is during their first meeting (chap 18-20). Like the birds, nr 3, traffic safety earning, motif of remembering/forgetting etc. You could also think that photography would be something like that but… it's not. Photography becomes a thing that is helping recognizing human/ghost Mitsuba from current supernatural Mitsuba. They’re similar but not the same person. Photos were one of the main characteristics of the original Mitsuba, both in this arc and during a moment with Mitsubas mother later. It was always about photos, but it's never about photos when it comes to our current Mitsuba.

Yeah, that kind of explains why Kou didn’t remember him immediately, even after seeing how Mitsuba looks and hearing his surname he should know. Because, like, Kou should remember him, they were in the same class, sit close to each other etc. But the mask that Mitsuba created was so strong that made him nearly imperceptible (like, you know, a ghost hah) and at this point tbh I don’t think Mitsuba liked it very much. He is actually a pretty bold and cocky person and all of this probably bugged him. Of course he wasn’t bullied, but was it worth becoming somebody different, somebody boring and bland to others? I think there is some form of regret. But also I don’t think that ALL of this was a mask, because Mitsuba definitely has some of a calmer and more sweet side to himself, he showed it a lot of times.

He tries to fix it up by recognizing him now for who he is. With both his positive and negative aspects, even if he points out mostly his flaws. Still, this is the Mitsuba he met, the Mitsuba he knows and the Mitsuba he IS GOING TO remember. Mitsuba he befriended now. It actually means a lot for Sousuke. He is dead, he may have thought that it's the end for him and for all of his relationships he ever had. Its funny how Mitsuba said he is a ghost because he still wanted to do photos, but the truth is he wanted relationships, but the true ones. Not based on his “fake” nice self, but on real him with all his flaws and that's why he haunted other students rather than just… go do photos or something. He tried to connect to others, because he subconsciously thought relationships and friends he had when he lived weren’t really true and real. It’s ironic how it resembles the current!Mitsuba in Picture Perfect act. 

Kou started to realize who Mitsuba was and how tragic his situation was, he started to empathize. Kou has a martyr complex, so he wanted to help Mitsuba any way he could. It was also shown that he does LIKE Mitsuba even with his twisted personality, Kou said it himself and it surely means a lot for Mitsuba who wasn’t liked before for his true personality. That was probably the moment Mitsuba felt a real bond towards Kou and become attached to him. 

And Kou even blushed a few times.That would still be read as platonic and sweet tho!. I think it was, personally. The most important thing during their first meeting was, of course, how it ended, because, in my opinion, it was a moment when most (not all tho) Kou's mental problems started. There was still his family, of course. Teru loves Kou very much, but still his mentality and behavior was a root for Kou’s low self esteem and some other elements of his personality, tho I think it may be a topic for a whole different post.

In this small arc, in my opinion, the moment that was the beginning of me perceiving them as written as one of the couples, a romantic relationship was this exact moment:

“I don’t know… maybe something important to me?” 

And also a moment when Kous saw this picture for the first time, when he developed photos, and how this cracked him.

Generally, becoming friends with Mitsuba was very important to Kou. Not only because he wanted to help him (and, internally, also making Kou feel better about himself) but also it was probably the first time when… Kou may feel somewhat special? He always was in the shadow of Teru, he wasn’t an “official” exorcist, he wasn't going to missions in the town, he wasn’t very strong (Hanako literally KO’ed him without a sweat and Kou couldn't do much to Hanako), the girl he got a small crush on (Nene) clearly had something with Hanako… Kou was always pushed back and now, with Mitsuba, he made an actually special relationship between the only two of them. He felt NEEDED, and we all know how much Kou desperately needs to feel NEEDED. In his own mind, he was the only one that could help Mitsuba and that understood Mitsuba, that's why Mitsubas ghost death was so hard for him. He finally got something special for himself and he couldn't even protect it and he let lonely, poor ghost tragically vanish. That's some trauma for you.

I’m not going to write much about Mitsubas feelings there because it was Sousuke Mitsubas feelings - and currently I’m going to focus more on a School Mystery Mitsuba. Tho Sousuke definitely perceived Kou and his help as something special to him. That's where their fated bond started. 

“You can help me develop them tomorrow and then… I think I’ll be okay”.

Yet we can’t see his eyes when he speaks, and that suggests he thinks something different that what he speaks. Not showing eyes is a common motif to show that a character is lying or saying something he does not think or hiding something. Here is just like that - it’s not about photos, it's about KOU. It’s because of Kou he is going to be okay, not because of the photos he took today. Something changed for Mitsuba when Kou recognized him for someone he actually is and wanted to become friends with him. For Mitsuba it means a lot because when he was alive he couldn’t get true friends and real relationships with others. 

Yeah walk walk trauma baby. I know I mention  ‘trauma” a lot when it comes to Kou, but the whole manga is like a one big parade of traumas for this boy and it's not even funny. I’m not surprised he is starting to become more and more insane with every next arc. Especially in the Night Out small arc we can clearly see how detached from actual reality Kou starts to be and how he stops recognizing differencs between supernatural and real word, good and evil, selfless and selfish behavior etc. It’s all the result of the traumatic situations he was put in for like 16 volumes straight. And he is bearing it A LOT WORSE than Nene is.

Ouch. 

“You wished for people remembering you but now youre happy with just a one person?” That hits hard but also I’m angry at Tsukasa, like leave that boy alone.Even one person can make a change in someones life, and thats what Mitsuba felt at a moment. For Kou he was someone, he was real, he had a personality, Kou recognized him and that gives him a true sense of identity. For him it was enough

You met like half of a day before and you are calling him your friend and fighting for him with an unknown dangerous supernatural who looks exactly like your other friend. Bruh that's some dedication. Kou is desperate to save Mitsuba, but Kou is generally desperate to be a savior. He tries to “save” Nene a lot of times even if it’s not really necessary, because Nene also has other friends and people who support her and is pretty clever and capable of bearing problems on her own (most of the time). Yet Kou still treats Nene like some damsel in distress that need his protection when it's CLEARLY not like that. Sadly, Kou mostly fails anyway. He fails now with Mitsuba and if it comes to Nene, if she needs saving, the person who (usually) saves her is Hanako. Kou rarely has something he can actually do and it's cracking him up mentally.

Yeah, “I’m supernatural who grants wishes” not “I’m a ghost of a boy who once lived in this town”. Yeah. It was right here from the beginning.

I just hope it’s not a form of foreshadowing.

His last words were “Minamoto-kun”, it's so sad. On this last panel he actually looked a little brighter than on the previous panel of his transformation, and that's because he looked at Kou. 

I need to say, seeing a person you treat important to you and calling a friend dying in a horrible way and hearing their last words being your name must be pretty stressful. It would probably haunt me for a long time and I’m sure Kou is still affected by it.

On the 20 chapter cover Mitsuba is together with the rest of the main squad (Nene, Hanako, Kou). It was pretty weird back then - he literally died and looks like he was going to be a one-arc character that started Kous character development, but this cover was a hint that it's going to be different and Mitsuba, probably, is going to play a whole different role in the story. He, also, had a hand around Kous head and nearly touched his hair gently - its a symbol of intimacy. 

That was a proof how strong, narratively, their relationship is and is going to be during the progression of a story. And, in my opinion, a foreshadowing to Mitsubas feelings. Because I think currently, our Mitsuba is aware of his feelings toward Kou, but I’m going to cover this topic a little bit later. 

On this cover there is a lot more symbolism,especially with Hanako and his role in the story, but it's also a thing for a whole different post. 

What Tsukasa said was that Mitsubas wish was ‘“ want to stay with my friends forever and ever”.

That’s literally what I said earlier. 

It’s a recurring topic with current!Mitsuba and his relationship with Kou.  Mitsuba feels lonely and… Kou also feels lonely. Even if he has a brother, father and friends (Nene and Hanako and other school friends) Kou is incredibly lonely because of his inferiority complex. He desperately needed to be needed, needed to be special to someone, needed to be important to someone, and that person was Mitsuba. Right now, he is the most important person to Mitsuba and that's both good and very bad for Kou. Good because he finally feels like someone important and someones one and only, but bad because of how traumatic his relationship with Mitsuba is to him and how unhealthy it is. And by it I don’t mean  they’re toxic or bad people - they are kids who want to be loved and who want to have their place in the world. But Mitsuba is a monster, he is a supernatural, whos life is stained away by his instinct, who needs to eat other monsters and who does not really… have any actual bright future and Kou is traumatized boy with low self estem, problems with his selfworth, with martyr complex and some sort of suicidal tendencies. They have a lot to work out.

Kou is going to be a supernatural / is going to try to be a supernatural / is going to be forced to be supernatural - hint number one. 

Yes, I will go back to this topic, because I’m literally scared of it so much. It's prominent during the whole story that Kou is foreshadowed to have a plotline related to becoming supernatural in some way. And when this topic is touched it's usually related to his plotline with Mitsuba. I’m kind of scared of HOW it’s going to happen or if it’s going to be only a try or Kou really will become supernatural in some way. But it's too much of a recurring topic of Kous WHOLE character arc to not being important and to not happen. It's even hard to call it foreshadowing, its literal hints everywhere. 

Kou spent with Mitsuba literally… one day, outside of being in the same class for a while (Kou didn’t even remember this time THAT much, time they spend together this day was more important) and yet he CLINGED SO HARD to the idea that Mitsuba is his “friend”. He desperately needed to be wanted, needed, to have a special bond, to being able to help, to save someone. And yet he lost Mitsuba at this moment, he couldn't do shit to save him, he was absolutely… just useless during a fight. It affected him a lot. 

During the scene when Hanako “kills” Mitsuba, there are sakura petals. They’re heavily associate with Mitsuba and are one of his symbols:

This scene, narratively was a scene that said to us he is GONE. For good. It was a “goodbye” for him and Kou, he is dead. That's all. At this point we couldn't know we are going to meet current!Mitsuba, so we could thing that is the end of Mitsuba and the beginning of a Kous arc. And… it was both of these things but in the whole DIFFERENT meaning. Of course it was goodbye to the Sousuke, he is dead, he can’t come back. Of course it was a beginning for Kous development. But… it was also a beginning for our current!Mitsuba, for slowly progressing Kous insanity as an effect of his trauma and the beginning for Mitsuba and Kous actual arc and relationship. We thought it was the end but it was actually the beginning that changed… the whole Kou, to be honest.

I think it's related not only to Mitsuba but to Hanako, too. Imagine what Hanako could feel at that moment. He is a ghost and a supernatural who know how doomed he is and he only protects school and Nene. But Kou said it's bullshit and clearly believes in what he says. Sadly, Hanako is so stubborn.

One of the symbols related to Kou is a lion. Lions may symbolize a lot of things, like strength, courage but also - protection. Just like Kou tries to protect everyone and tries to be strong and courageous for others. I actually think it suits him quite well. Lions also symbolize the sun and it was shown a few times that Kou is like a sun to Mitsuba.

At some point of a story he is definitely going to do some crazy shit I’m telling you. He really tries to believe that he can find a way to change how the world works and it can end up good but.. it can also end up INCREDIBLY BAD. It’s not that good to mess up with life and death and when you cross up a border there is no coming back. With every arc the manga is becoming a little bit more dark and serious with topic it shows and och boy I’m kind of scared for Kou and Mitsuba.

You can literally hear me crying. It was probably the first moment in the manga that actually had any impact on me, I was really like… I had to stand and walk for a bit before reading. Kou sees a photo of himself and remembers Sousuke saying “Who knows? Maybe something important to me?” and starting crying was like. I wanted to cry too. I can’t even imagine what Kou felt at this moment, it was probably absolutely heartbreaking. 

This small arc finished with chapter 20.During the next arc, Kou, already  affected by Mitsubas death, gets to know that Nene also has a shortened lifespan and it's going to die very shortly. That wasn’t too good for his mental state and he literally fixated on a goal in saving her. When Kou learned about Nene’s situation, Hanako even related it to Mitsubas situation, so we can clearly understand these two examples are related to Kou. He doesn’t want this situation to happen again.

“Just like with this boy, there is nothing you can do” - Hanako you little shit

But yeah. Again Kou understands how useless he is. How weak he is, how he can’t save anyone the way he is. How he could do nothing about Mitsubas situation and how he can’t do nothing about Nene’s situation. That's tragic. And it's clear Kou doesn’t know what to do about it. Thats why, when current!Mitsuba appeared, he started to find such a ridiculous (and unhealthy) solutions to Mitsubas (and Kous) problems. He don't know what to do but desperately needs to do… something. Anything. To help, to be important. 

It's sad. He said he dont know what he is gonna do, but HE WILL DO SOMETHING. And yet… we know how it all goes for him. He is a brave kid, who is determined and wants others to be happy and alive. 

He even tried to stop a kiss between Hanako and Nene after reading Nenes book and failed. He always fails.

There is also an special page

It is titled “Love stories” that should be about Mitsuba. And it contains both Mitsuba and Kou. It's just a joke, but I need to point out that Mitsuba generally wasn’t shown to be interested in any girl during the progression of the story or never talked about it in general. He also does not crush on Nene, even when both Hanako and Kou felt something toward her at some point in the story.He also talks about how cute he is A LOT and I’m going to say something about it someday, but not now.

I think it's enough for part 1! I think I covered everything I wanted for their first meeting. Let's see at Mitsubas resurrection in the Hell of Mirrors!

[pikatrainer99]

Sinnoh Trio character analysis (headcanon supportive) SPOILER WARNING FOR A POKÉSPE MANGA ARC THAT IS OVER A DECADE OLD AT THIS POINT BUT STILL, JUST IN CASE! 😅

This post is a follow-up to my post where I drew the Sinnoh Trio as TBH (autism) creatures. That is my personal headcanon and today I'm going to analyze these kids, and go more in-depth on why I hold this headcanon. I'm going to focus on one character at a time here, followed by a scene analysis of a particular important moment...so this will be a long post because these kids are SO neurodivergent and I love them so much.

First up, we have Pearl, who is my favorite of the Sinnoh Trio and the one I relate to the most. My personal headcanon for him is that he is AuDHD (both autistic and ADHD). I also headcanon him to have an anxiety disorder (specifically GAD) because he is constantly freaking out over pretty much everything (which is so relatable as someone who has GAD myself). There's so many panels that show his anxiety that I honestly can't pick ones to include here...

Anyway, on to the ADHD, Pearl exhibits many traits. He is constantly on the move and impatient and loud, and wants everything to be done immediately. He's energetic and much faster compared to Diamond and Platinum, even to the point of always being the first one to wake up every morning. This is, in my opinion, the ADHD side of him, it reminds me a lot of my ADHD brothers who act like this often. Because of these traits, I personally feel like Pearl has the hyperactive type of ADHD rather than the inattentive type, as he is shown to be not scatterbrained and is capable of focusing on whatever he's doing quite well, even able to go into hyperfocus mode at times, which is an extremely ND thing to do (and is common in both autism and ADHD). He is also the most rational of the trio, which I always found interesting that they actually gave the Barry counterpart the brain cell. So yeah, he's hyperactive, but to me he doesn't seem to have many issues with his attention span.

Now, onto Pearl's autism, which I feel more confident to talk about because I'm autistic myself and I know what to look for in terms of traits and behaviors, and the first thing I noticed with Pearl is that he has a CLEAR special interest in comedy. He's INCREDIBLY passionate about it, he's the one who decided that he and Diamond should become a comedy duo, he's the one who writes all their scripts and all their sketches, he's the one who always initiates practice time, and he's DEFINITELY the one who takes it the most seriously out of the duo, to the point where he had (what seems like to me) a legit meltdown about how Diamond didn't stick to the script and how awful their performance in the comedy competition was because of it, complete with yelling, nearly bursting into tears, and being afraid that Diamond was breaking the promise they'd made to become comedians all the way back when they were 4 years old. Looking back on it now, I think THAT was his biggest problem with the whole situation and what caused him to completely explode like that in the first place, because once Diamond reassures him that he's not breaking the promise, Pearl IMMEDIATELY cheers up and tells him "No use moping about today then!" when that was EXACTLY what he was doing just seconds ago. He then initiates practice time for NEXT MONTH'S comedy competition, his mind ALREADY hyperfocusing on their next opportunity...and this is their INTRODUCTION SCENE! This all LITERALLY happens within the first few pages of volume 1 of the DP arc! Here's the scene I'm talking about.

Also in regards to his special interest in comedy, there's something he does with Diamond that I've gotta talk about...and that's using the comedy routines as their own special way of communicating. They use it almost as if it's their own language, they use it to process things, they use it to give hints to Platinum when she's battling, they even use it when they meet someone new as kind of a judge of their character (in the minds of these children, if they make the person laugh, the person can be trusted, if not, stay away...that kinda thing). He even outright tells Platinum that he uses it to communicate through rhythm. I always found it interesting how they used the comedy like that, and it definitely helps with my belief that it is in fact, a special interest for them, as special interests do actually be like that, I speak from experience. Here's some examples of this usage of the comedy routines.

Another thing about Pearl that I noticed is he's REALLY not good at communicating how he's feeling or what's on his mind. He also is (brutally at times) honest, speaks his mind, and doesn't sugarcoat things. He can come off as rude and bossy because of this, even though he's really a good kid. This is something I relate to because I'm the same way, I also struggle with communicating my thoughts and feelings, and I'm also brutally honest, speak my mind and don't sugarcoat things. I have been perceived as rude and bossy so many times in my life it's not even funny. Another thing I find relatable about Pearl is that he can't lie to save his life (neither can I), here's a good example of such a moment.

(Uh-huh...SUUUURRRREEEE ya did, Pearl XD)

Also, while we're on the topic of expression, Pearl is VERY hyperexpressive, which is once again, very much an ND thing (I am hyperexpressive a lot of the time myself)...he almost always reacts to basically anything in an over-the-top, exaggerated way, compared to Diamond and Platinum's more calm and composed approach to things...I'm seriously thinking of doing a post of all of my favorite Pearl expressions because he's got so many great ones!

Pearl seems to exhibit low empathy (a stark contrast to Diamond's hyperempathy), but he really does care about his friends and will even help wild Pokémon. The wild Luxio that he helped in the chapter titled "Extreme Luxio" is one of my favorite Pokémon in the whole manga and his dynamic with it is very wholesome. He figures out that it's being ostracized by its pride because of the fact that it's disabled - its claws are too short, which makes it harder for it to communicate with the others in its pride. Pearl helps it out, and even says to the others, "Listen all of you, it's got a disability, and can't communicate as clearly as the rest of you! That's no reason to reject it!" He was quite angered by this situation and when you put my headcanon into perspective here, it's quite easy to see why. But anyway, point is, he went out of his way to advocate for and help a disabled Pokémon, and it leads to one of the best Trainer/Pokémon bonds in the series in my opinion, as the Luxio comes back later, now a Luxray and the leader of its pride...and decides to become one of Pearl's Pokémon. That moment is so sweet and wholesome and I'll just leave the picture of their reunion here for you guys. Look at them hug! They're so happy to see each other again!

Pearl also seems to have hypersensitive hearing (as do I), as demonstrated when he hears someone who's basically lost his voice calling out for help from a ways away.

He also experienced what I can't help but percieve as sensory overload in the Old Chateau when all the Gastly were hovering around the place making vibrations that were so loud it shook the room and it overwhelmed him a lot. I get it Pearl, that would be too much for me too...just look at his reactions here, he's clearly in pain.

I also sometimes can't help but feel like Pearl is unaware of his own strength, like when he hits Diamond in their comedy routines...I get the feeling that he doesn't quite understand that he's hitting Diamond way too hard, as he seems shocked and taken aback when Diamond finally stands up to him and tells him he's not happy with everything he's been doing lately. Diamond makes it a point to make Pearl aware of how much getting smacked by him hurts...all I can say is, good for Dia, but judging from Pearl's reactions to his best friend's words...oof...just look for yourselves...

My takeaway from this scene is that Pearl was being made aware of all this for the first time, and not only felt like a bad friend, but also, he was once again afraid that Diamond would leave him...which he really REALLY didn't want, and I totally get why, considering how long they've been friends and how much like brothers those two are (though Pearl is SO parentified during their journey it's insane and it's another HUGE stressor for him which does NOT do his anxiety any good). And now that I've decided to open THAT can of worms, I might just do a post about it as well. Because...yeah it's not good considering the fact that HE IS 12!!! Still very much A CHILD!!!

At least Pearl learns from his mistakes, which I really love his development. After his and Diamond's fight, he learns to mellow out a bit (that says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about his anxiety though). You can really tell that losing Diamond's friendship...that is one thing he absolutely DOES NOT want, and he makes a conscious effort to improve his treatment of him. He starts by not hitting Diamond in their comedy routines anymore, and even letting him come up with his own joke instead of always doing it himself and forcing his own ideas onto him. While he still yells a lot, it's mostly out of worry for his friends now rather than pure anger towards them. He even learns how to put himself in Diamond's shoes at one point, during his fight to protect Azelf from Team Galactic. I love this moment btw, it's a great moment of realization for him.

All in all, in my opinion, Pearl is an amazing AuDHD character who goes through a great character arc (and unfortunately, a trauma arc as well, as per usual with PokéSpe protags...there's NO WAY he doesn't have PTSD after all he went through in both the DP and PT arcs, I refuse to believe he's fine after all that), and I absolutely wholeheartedly love this child like he's my own son. Now for the next member of the Sinnoh Trio...Diamond!

Diamond, in my opinion, is EASILY a hyperempathic autistic child...his Dexholder title is literally "The Empathizer" and he is associated with Mesprit, the Pokémon known as the Being of Emotion. He is the only member of the trio with more than one special interest from what I can see. His are comedy (which he shares with Pearl, but his interest is to a lesser extent than Pearl), cooking (which he's extremely good at and takes very seriously), and a TV show called Proteam Omega (which his enthusiasm for it is way too adorable honestly).

Diamond is the most impulsive member of the trio, which like how they gave the Barry counterpart the brain cell, I find it interesting that they made the Lucas counterpart the impulsive one. He possesses a strong sense of justice and wants to do what he believes is right, including stand up to Cyrus, much to Pearl's dismay (this was actually the catalyst for their big fight in volume 4). He is very intuitive, his emotional intelligence is mostly intuition to him and he's also much, MUCH more perceptive than he lets on, for example he knew the whole thing with him and Pearl being Platinum's bodyguards was a misunderstanding from the beginning, but he didn't say anything about it because he was enjoying their time together and didn't want it to end. Here's that scene where he reveals he knew all along.

Diamond is a very calm, laid-back, "go with the flow" kind of kid. But I think this is because he's constantly feeling A LOT...he's extremely empathic, so he picks up on others' emotions easily and it happens so much he just keeps it all in and resorts to being incredibly calm throughout it all. When he DOES get upset or serious though, he's like a whole different person. He's hard to anger, but he is absolutely capable of getting angry. His anger though, is the tranquil fury kind. He's not explosive like Pearl, but rather, he gets much more serious and intense. Here's an example of angry Diamond.

(He angy boi.)

Diamond is also an easy crier, of the Sinnoh Trio, he's the one who is the easiest to bring to tears...which I can't stand...everytime any of these three cry it breaks my heart...and we'll talk about the scene that's the biggest offender of that soon. I guess what I'm trying to say is, Diamond is the one who's most in tune with his emotions, compared to Pearl and Platinum, who struggle with that. It makes sense though considering his hyperempathy. Also, can I take a minute to mention that he has the type of big eyes that are similar to the TBH creature...? Yes...? Okay. He does. I saw a post about this recently and it's so true! His eyes are so similar to TBH it's not even funny! And it makes total sense too, that's the best part!

Diamond is more of a pacifist than Pearl and Platinum. He's a pure, sweet soul who can do no wrong. He doesn't like conflict, he much prefers to make people smile instead. I love this about him, I don't think there's a PokéSpe protag that actually acts their age as much as Diamond does. In my opinion Diamond is a precious autistic bean and I absolutely love him like a son as well. Now for the final member of the Sinnoh Trio...Platinum Berlitz!

Platinum is definitely a masker, she's incredibly good at passing for NT (probably because of her upbringing). But there are definitely cracks in that mask that I've picked up on. First, her special interest, which is learning and experiencing new things. She says that back home she always read a dozen books a day, but seeing her actually experiencing the things she'd read about and having so much fun is great, she throws herself wholeheartedly into everything she tries, it's honestly adorable. She is also a bad liar, though she at first "lies" all the time, even though Pearl sees right through it and catches her everytime. Here's some examples.

Platinum is a stimmer. Plain and simple. She moves her arms up and down really fast when she's excited about something, and it's often accompanied by her saying "New experiences! New experiences!" in a sing-song voice.

(Why is she so adorable?!)

She is also an infodumper...a MASSIVE infodumper...just look at this scene with Thorton as just one example.

Platinum is also not the best with words, and finds that writing is the most effective way for her to organize her thoughts and feelings, as well as communicate them (relatable). She says so herself in volume 5, after finding out the truth that Diamond and Pearl are not her real bodyguards, and the scene of her reading the letter is so wholesome I love it so much!

Another thing I've noticed with Platinum is that she is a mimicker (something I myself did A LOT as a child), despite all her attempts to deny it. She often copies things she sees the others doing, even mimicking...SMACKING HERSELF...at one point, as seen here, complete with quietly saying to herself "Stop it! Stop it!"

She also has the capability to hyperfocus, particularly on details (when she thought that Diamond and Pearl were her bodyguards because green and red scarves were what she was told about them and since the boys had green and red scarves she immediately latched on to that specific detail despite everything else about them screaming that they're just kids). She also hyperfocuses when she's playing the slot machines in the Veilstone Game Corner in what is probably one of my favorite scenes in the manga, it's so funny! Because of that intense focus though, she is INCREDIBLY good at the slot machines which is hilarious to me considering she is like the richest person in Sinnoh and yet she still becomes addicted to gambling. I dunno, that scene is just funny, okay? I mean, look at her! She's so hyperfocused on it and it's just great!

Platinum is my favorite rich girl character in any media ever, and the fact that she's autistic coded in my opinion really helps with that as well. But she's also just a sweetheart who loves learning things and is just such a precious child. They're all precious children and I love them all so much. They are my fictional children and I would die for them.

Now, time for the scene that gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME...the scene where they split up to try and protect the three lakes. Pearl goes to Lake Valor, Diamond to Lake Verity, and Platinum to Lake Acuity. On their first morning separated from each other, they wake up and realize everything is so different now that the Pokédex isn't beeping. They all talk to themselves about their morning routine, Pearl gets up first, and is always the first in the lobby, then Platinum comes down afterwards, then Diamond comes after that...and the Pokédex always beeps to let them know that everyone's there together...but now it's not making a peep. Once they realize that, they all start crying and breaking down...and it's heartbreaking to read every single time. Just look at these poor kids...

Taking my headcanon into account here, I see this scene as not only being sad that they're separated from each other, but also the stress of their routine being broken for the first time since their journey started. The way they all recite step by step how their morning routine always went when they were together, and then just start breaking down when the realization hits that everything's different now...yeah, I relate to that feeling, if my routines are broken, I get real thrown off, recite how it's supposed to be, and then break down...it's very similar to what the Sinnoh Trio are experiencing in this scene. I would analyze more scenes but this post is already way too long as it is, so I'll leave it at just this one.

Well, that's it for my headcanon supportive analysis of the Sinnoh Trio from PokéSpe! These three are my favorite characters in the manga and this headcanon is one I will hold till the day I die. My two main beliefs I hold about these kids are this headcanon, and "Do Not Separate Them!"

I hope you all can understand where I'm coming from with all this headcanon stuff. Also, headcanon deniers, you STAY AWAY from this and do not interact with this! I know it's not canon, that's why it's called a HEADcanon...I don't force my headcanons onto other people, I just talk about them, so I don't need headcanon deniers forcing their "canon" beliefs onto me!

Thank you for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed this analysis! Please feel free to let me know how I did in the comments, and if you support this headcanon and think I missed anything, please let me know what I missed! This is only my second time doing this in my life after all, so I'm not used to this kinda stuff and I'm pretty nervous about it honestly.

[raytorosaurus]

I have seen maybe half a season of TUA and didn’t read the comics so let me tell you seeing those panels where Vanya is yelling “We belong on that stage” (and in reference to herself and her taller blonde bass-playing brother) drawn in profile with literally Gerard’s haircut and outfit was a big shock to the system. I never even considered that he’d inserted elements of himself and his bandmates into TUA except for a bunch of weird edits people made comparing how much Aiden Gallagher looks like Frank but now I feel like I really need to read it.

im really looking forward to rereading all of the comics after this semester's over because i haven't done that since volume 3's run ended and i'll definitely make more coherent posts about it then but like. it's really really interesting to compare to all of gerard's other art because he is just...so distinctively him, even across different mediums and genres. tua and mcr and hesitant alien and kjna and his visual art etc etc etc like his artistic fingerprint is stamped so boldly and unapologetically all over them and that's something i really love about him. like his art, love it or hate it, is sooooo genuine always. even when he's purposely imitating other artists, he's very consciously doing it in his own voice, putting his own spin on it.

when i say tua and mcr are completely separate projects i mean it - i don't think one should only ever be discussed in relation to/in the context of the other - and, above all, tua is certainly not like...autobiographical, or a direct representation of real people/events. it's led by gerard but it has a different creative team than mcr does and that really shows as well - i definitely wanna talk ant this when i have more time but part of the reason im not sold on conweap as an album is because it's too umbrella academy - it's really evident that gerard was working on both of them at the same time, and letting one influence the other too directly. mcr's a band, not a Gerard Project, and umbrella academy is largely a duo (w gabriel bá), so they can't just be transplanted onto each other yk.

anyway I'm rambling but all this to say - tua isn't meant to be "about" mcr any more than bullets is "about" 9/11. but gerard's life was changed and shaped by his experiences in the music scene throughout his life, by dropping everything and living as a penniless artist, by becoming suddenly (in)famous, and that really shines through in tua. he says he drew inspiration from touring band life to write a dysfunctional family, and the dehumanising effects of fame and attention, and of being categorised and scrutinised on a private or public level, are huge themes - as is addiction, mental health, complicated grief.

like...i actually got into mcr through the tua comics lmaooo. i read volume 1 because of wonderful @blackmoldmp3 talking about it and immediately said oh. i need more from this dude's brain right now. and i was soooo not disappointed haha. i really am obsessed with quite a lot of the things gerard is also obsessed with as an artist. the particular themes and imagery and scenarios he's fixated on are really very consistent throughout everything he does - only the way they're discussed or portrayed does change over time. i don't rly subscribe to the idea of gleaning specifics abt artists' personal lives from their works because, beside all else, it just does them a huge disservice (that's my number one gripe with the popular talking pounts around hes alien and frank's solo work in particular; however "confessional" you wanna read art as, it's still art that was created with skill and intent.)

anyway that's way off topic dkfnfj. what i do love about this kind of thing is looking at distinct creations in the context of the rest of an artist's body of work. like...yeah, gerard's said there's a lot of mikey in klaus. has dressed similarly to vanya and the kraken and the seance at times etc etc. has compared himself to the rumor, because she's the one he relates to most. puts a lot of his familiar ideology surrounding music and performance into vanya. puts angry teenage vanya in a shitty punk band with her disillusioned teenage brother on bass, and puts a classical music prodigy in a punk band as an excellent guitarist, writing songs about killing the president etc etc. i could go on! because these things are just scattered everywhere through the comic, just like all of gerard thematic and aesthetic and ideologic fingerprints.

so what's reallyyy interesting to me is looking at umbrella academy as something gerard wrote on the road with mcr across multiple years. volume one was released while the tbp world tour was ongoing, and volume two only a few months after. the progression of parade -> tua -> conweap -> danger days is SOOOO fascinating to me, especially because one of the things that really works about danger days imo is the way it kind of shakes off some of the tua-style gritty cynicism and returns to mcr's defiant, extravagant theatricality. if you go through tua with a fine-tooth comb you'll definitely find the most direct comparisons to conweap, in terms of mcr. the way dd approaches the themes it has in common with tua is just.....so different, and so so mcr. and then you can see the at times self-referential development on those things in hesitant alien - AND THEN VOLUME 3 COMES AROUND AND LIKE. AUUUGGGGHHHHH the change and growth there is SO apparent. btw i don't mean "growth" "progression" etc in this post to mean "improving" - i just mean change and development in a neutral sense, bc it's so interesting to see it laid out there in an artist's body of work. but like. man it makes me crazeeee actually the way gerard picked tua back up....almost certainly around the same time mcr started discussing a potential reunion. and the way that foundations revisits and reconceptualises mcr's existing catalogue is paralleled in the way vol 3 of tua is, like...........like there's so much life lived there, between those things. gerard's even said he's changed his plan for the ending (if we ever see it 🥲) because he has more compassion for his own characters now and doesn't want to see them broken down for good. he says he's gotten better at listening to other people - for starters, he's a lot more conscious of his own subconscious racism/whiteness that came through at times in the original run and has expressed regret for that (namely, the entire main cast being white, with a couple of side characters being uncomfortably stereotyped).

but just like. augh. im not gonna lie man i have no idea what i've just typed im sorry it's probably so rambly bc I'm so dizzy rn and definitely am not gonna proofread it or whatever skdjfj but. I LOVE ART! I LOVE ARTISTS! I LOVE DIVING DEEP INTO AN ARTIST'S BODY OF WORK AND WATCHING THEM REINVENT THEMSELF AND/OR DOUBLE DOWN ON THEMSELF (SOMETIMES FOR BETTER, SOMETIMES FOR WORSE). obvs this fandom genuinely does have a big issue with invasive/un-self-aware parasocial behaviour but there's a difference between that and like. getting obsessed with a particular artist. that's so normal and in fact necessary to life imo. i think every artist literally has to have ppl like that i can't imagine any other way to live it's just a specific type of human connection at a distance baby. don't get me wrong tho i also wanna chew on his thigh. anyway.

my god. how did i get here what even was your question. tua. yes it's crazy. it's not for everyone for sure but it has enough of the shit that makes me crazzzzyyyyy that it got me into mcr which made me crazierrrr so. yes i can recommend. especially if ur like me and lovvvve stories that are a little bit fractured by design. that dance around big parts of the story, where there's as much significance in an absence or in a tiny background detail than there is in any dialogue or action scene. most of the criticism i see of tua is about the pacing but like. to my tastes it's a really great use of the comic medium yk? lmk if you want content warnings or something there are plenty skdjfj.

[whereismymonsterlover]

Yana toboso is literally a shotacon tf u mean sebaciel isn't canon

Dog it's 2024 I don't want to fill the already rife BB tag with more of this discourse but I just want to give my two cents. Y'all anonymous sebaciel diehards must work overtime to churn out an ask to every damn anti. Anti as a label pisses me off cus I literally just don't want the fucking grown ass man-presenting demon to kiss the 14 year old human. And thank the lord, he doesn't!

I really don't like shota straight up. I find it disturbing that people enjoy it and Yana is openly a shotacon but as black butler stands, it is not a BL story. Whilst very few and far between, I overlook the suggestive panels of Ciel + other underage characters cus I don't derive any pleasure from them and they make me cringe out of my mind knowing the true undertones. But the other 98% of the manga is my jam! From my interpretations of the characters using the canon material, there is nothing that suggests that Sebastian wants to be in a romantic/sexual relationship with this kid. The concept of Ciel presenting sexual feelings towards Sebastian as a response to his own sexual trauma is for sure an interesting idea! And I do not hate people that have this headcanon and explore it in a way that makes it clear it is not a cute sexy thing!! I find it disturbing seeing people who sexualise Ciel (Toboso included, I'm aware. However, it does not swamp the narrative of the story outside of his sexual trauma which is villainized!) that get off to the pairing and call it canon. I wouldn't be here were that true. HOWEVER, Ciel does not present this behaviour towards Sebastian in the actual media. The kid is sexualised but it's either played off as a joke (the dreaded corset scene from LITERALLY the first volumes) or its villainised (Kelvin, Druitt, the cult members). It is not forbidden to explore underage sexual abuse so long as it is made clear that it is inappropriate.

Sebastian is not a pedophile for Christ's sake. I love demon lore so much and knowing how to manipulate and tempt humans with words and sexuality or whatever it may cost is the nature of a demon. That is, if it is needed. In my eyes, if Ciel were to one day command Sebastian to fuck him, he would - he is bound by contract to do as his master tells him and if that's what will get him a meal then so be it. If Ciel one day commanded Sebastian to truly love him, in ANY capacity, it is up to the reader to decide how deep Sebastian's humanity goes past "me hungry" to fundamentally enable him to love in the first place. Because the manga does not characterise Sebastian as actually having any love sexual or platonic towards Ciel outside of the protection he displays within the rules of the contract.

But thankfully for me, Ciel has never ordered Sebastian to fuck him because NO WHERE do we see him actually want that. There are even moments where Ciel is distraught at the idea of Sebastian simply tucking him into bed to calm him back to sleep after waking from a nightmare. The fact I have to explain the sexual motives of a 14 year old boy makes me sick to my stomach, do you people not see how foul that is?

So when you tell me Yana Toboso is a shotacon - that is a lot different to Black Butler being a BL beyond the undertones of a wee few panels, and a fanon, out-of-character interpretation of their fucked up power dynamic riding off the fact that Sebastian's hunger could transpire to a moral depravity i've no interest in. Good day.

[solar-halos]

okay i need to stop posting in the middle of the night bc the last two times i did that i was doing entirely too much in the tags + posted a torso reveal (as if i’m not a pic of snoopy walking around going 👍) but i need to keep talking about lucy grays rainbow dress. so here’s an unasked for progress check + the inspo for the top i wanna crochet in case i wanna connect the skirt to the shirt to actually make it a dress lol:

okay i put a cutoff here bc i wanna rant but don’t wanna put such a long post on anyone’s dash <3. but for the top it was a toss up between a puff sleeve and a corset but i decided to go with the puff sleeves for a few reasons

1) it’s giving 1890s. not to sound like a nerd but i had a huge historical fashion phase when i was younger and i’m in love with the idea of lucy gray’s puff sleeves representing a different era (since, yk, ballad in general represents a diff era)

2) i’ve never crocheted a puff sleeve top before so it would be fun to try hehe (but i have crocheted a corset top and it does not Stay Up so, in the event that lucy gray was performing in an all-yarn outfit, that would not be very practical for her)

3) okay wouldnt the sleeves subtly fluffing around as she performs be kinda cute? obviously they’re not gonna be super fluffy or anything (just the amount of floofiness in the pic) but it’s kinda like a less intense version of the skirt ruffling

speaking of the skirt:

ohhhh my good. i alternate between loving and hating the white panels but tbh there’s nothing i can do unless i wanna drop an ungodly amount of money on a skirt that’s not even my style. but good thing it’s my sisters style (actually it might not be she looked at it and went “omg omg it’s so cuteee <3” and when i asked if she herself would wear it she went “o.o welll..” so maybe i’ll just have to do my hair and makeup entirely different to sell that this is in fact my style bc no way am i not wearing something i spent literal money + time on). sorry that was a tangent but it’s around knee length rn and i think i have enough yarn (of the rainbow color scheme and scrap yarn) to make it a bit longer. i’ve always envisioned lucy grays dress as a maxi, so maybe i’ll get one more skein of yarn at the end of the month since they’re having a sale. but the whimsy when it comes to wearing this skirt is unreal. like when i put it on i always gotta do a little spin to see the ruffles shift. and that’s actually another thing that makes me convinced that lucy grays skirt is a maxi bc making it into a mini skirt was atrocious. and that’s saying something bc if my entire ass isn’t hanging out of a skirt then what the fuck am i even wearing it for. but it just looked a bit strange and i thought it was bc there was SO much volume on top and it made me a look a bit disproportional, but once my mom stopped going “that’s a lot of colors going on” she had an answer that (while very crude.. and maybe a bit problematic) explained things:

“you look like a pedophile’s dream”

yeah. to be clear i don’t agree that women who dress in ruffles and pastels and things that are considered “childish” are trying to appeal to pedophiles, but keeping the skirt so short and colorful and ruffly made it look very Young. also making it longer added to the whimsy since there’s more fabric that swooshes around when you spin

okay i think i’m done. so thankful that i have tumblr now bc where else was i gonna rant about rainbow dress omg. but tbh i think i’m gonna take a break from making this before i get burnt out and finish a chapter for a fic bc the hg grind never stops. bye!!

[likemmmcookies]

Hi i saw you comment on thebibliosphere's iron post that you have secret small red blood cell anemia type thing? Me too!! If youre comforable sharing, any treatments that have worked/not worked for you, useful tests related symtoms, etc? My doc isnt tkaing it seriously so i appreciate any info, thanks! Ps just wanna make sure you know that taking vitamin c with iron can help you absorb iron, and taking it with calcium can hinder iron absorbtion

Hello! This is going to be a really loooong one so buckle in.

For long time, every RBC-related test result came back bad for me. Low hemoglobin, low red cell count, low blood volume, low MCV, and low red cell distribution. My cells were small, I didn't have enough of them, and they weren't binding iron. I've had anemia pretty much my whole life. At my second to last blood panel a couple years ago, my primary care dr noticed I was taking 50 mg of high absorption iron (and eating high iron foods) but still experiencing anemia symptoms. My hemoglobin came back too low again and she basically went "hmm - weird! take more iron," which is crazy because i was already taking way more than I should need. The person who figured it out, was of all things, my psych med doctor after I mentioned that result off-hand in an appointment. She is pretty holistic and keeps up to date on new research and is generally a rock star. So finding a holistic doctor is the first treatment step.

She asked if I'd ever gotten an iron profile test, which includes serum iron (how much iron is bound to transferrin, which is the protein in blood that binds the iron and carries it to your red blood cells), ferritin levels (how much iron is just hanging out in your blood unused), and total iron binding capacity (indicates how well your body is actually binding the iron sitting around in your body). I hadn't had this panel before, so I got one, and the results indicated that the iron was kind of there, and what was there was being bound by transferrin, but NOT in the quantities that it should be considering how much iron i was getting. My blood should have been chalk full of iron just sitting around. So this indicated an absorption issue and a not-enough-blood-cells issue.

Then my psych doctor asked if I'd ever had my b12 levels tested (nope!) and told me about pernicious anemia, which is when you're deficient in b12, which impairs your body's ability to make red blood cells. It's indicated by low red cell counts, small red blood cells, stubborn anemia that doesn't improve with iron supplements, and the easiest indicator - literally getting a b12 test and it coming back low. It's incredibly easy to test. I had one doctor years ago test my B levels and they came back slightly lower than normal but not enough to set off a flag for her, which is also stupid, because of my long history of anemia.

Okay so onto b12. If your b12 levels are low, it causes anemia as a secondary issue since your body can't make enough RBCs. So taking iron will do fuck-all if you don't have enough b12 to make the cells in the first place. I got a b12 test and it came back low-ish again. My psych doctor concluded I have both pernicious anemia AND regular anemia, which made me extra susceptible to the low b12 levels but let that issue fly under the radar for all my other doctors. My b12 level was a concern, but in a regular person without anemia it wouldn't have set off alarm bells.

So what causes low b12 levels? There are a lot of things (like diabetes or certain autoimmune disorders), but most often it's caused by something GI related: not getting enough b12 in your diet, abdominal surgery, IBS, Crohns, etc. Which makes the first solution to try easy: take more b12 (you'll want to take methylated b12, its more expensive but it really makes a difference). If that doesn't work, the next step is to look at what's keeping your body from absorbing it. For me, it was autoimmune and IBS-related and I had to see a special integrative medicine doctor to fix my GI (these issues were also keeping me from absorbing enough iron). That was a whole thing, and expensive, but it made a huge difference. After a while I was able to stop taking b12 supplements and cut back on iron by half because I was finally absorbing it and my body was properly able to use it. For the first time in my life, I got a blood panel back that was totally normal (good, even!).

In summary: 1. find a doctor that is more holistic if possible, 2. Get an iron profile test 3. get a B12 test, and go from there. If your doctor continues to not take you seriously, at least you have your test results to go off of and you can mess around with supplements and diet on your own. If you're taking all the supplements and eating the right foods, but none of it is showing up in your blood, I'd recommend trying a probiotic too. The iron profile test will give you a lot of info about what is causing the anemia because it identifies where the problem is in the chain of iron into your body -> iron on your blood cells. Do be careful with b12 though and get tested again if you start taking supplements, because getting too much b12 can be as bad as not getting enough. And finally, try taking your iron in chunks of days instead of every day. My psych med doctor said basically there's like absorption fatigue from getting it every day. I switched to taking higher doses every 2-3 days instead of spreading it all out and it's possible that also helped with absorption. It also lets you offset when you take calcium since you can alternate days. It's worth a try.

I hope any of this helps!! If you read this entire thing, congratulations and I'm sorry. 😅 Please feel free to send more asks or DMs about this issue.

ETA: I just realized I confused b12 for vitamin D in terms of high levels. Lots of b12 is FINE if it's a result of diet. You'll just pee the extra out.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 325: Deku VS the Outside of U.A. ~Conclusion~

Previously on BnHA: Ochako was all “dear bloodthirsty mob, this kid you see standing before you has fought harder than anyone and put his life on the line to protect you all, so please chill the fuck out, jesus christ. like, putting aside that he’s humanity’s best hope and so it’s very much in your best interests to let him rest and recover someplace safe so that he can keep fighting for us, are y’all seriously going to turn away an injured and exhausted child in front of his sobbing mother?? seriously?? come on now.” I’m paraphrasing here but that’s basically how it went down. Anyway so then the mob was all, “...” and Deku collapsed to his knees in tears, and Gigantic Fox Lady and Kouta ran over to give him a hug but then the chapter ended.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “FINE, YOU CAN HUG HIM”, which, was that so hard?? The U.A. Clown Mob is all “come to think of it, we’ve kind of been taking the heroes for granted this entire time, maybe we should be less passive in the future. anyway so Deku if it’s not too much to ask, can you please save everyone and fix everything.” Deku is all “I sure can, and by the way I forgive you for swarming around all menacingly two minutes ago and trying to deny me basic shelter and stuff.” Ectoplasm is all, “hey Todogang get a load of this. [walks in a circle].” Hawks is all, “that’s literally the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.” Rat Principal is all, “anyway so that’s what your students did today, hope you’re enjoying your new *~*ROBOT LEG*~*, Aizawa.” Aizawa is all “[lots of exposition about Kurogiri and for some reason, Toga, while being all brooding and sexy].” All Might is all “[standing here right outside of U.A. doing absolutely nothing and being foreboding AF]” and that immediately sucked away all of the warm fuzzy feelings from the hugs, goddammit.

each new week has become a waiting game of “when will Deku finally get to take a bath so people will actually be willing to go near him and give him the hugs he deserves.” the stakes have never been so compelling. I’ve almost forgotten about AFO entirely

lmaoooooo

me: for the love of god will someone please give Deku a hug before I die of old age

Mineta: YOU GOT IT!! --

Iida: [SWIFTLY CUTS HIM OFF] NOT YOU

fucking losing it at Mineta’s crying face. he really wanted to hug him. I legit feel bad but this is also the funniest thing I have seen all week, omg

somehow Kouta, who last week was only a hand’s breadth away from touching Deku’s head, is now twenty miles away from him in this new chapter

can I make a Loki reference here. is this recap a good place to insert a joke about someone using a TVA time-rewinding device to fuck with my poor boy Kouta over here. well anyway there it is

AND NOW HE’S BACK ALL OF A SUDDEN OMG

(ETA: since when is he “niichan” omg?? can’t handle this cuteness.)

BUT THEY��RE STILL NOT HUGGING HIM FFFFKFFFFF. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO. WHO DO I HAVE TO BRIBE AND/OR BLACKMAIL

OH NO KOUTA IS CRYING THAT’S IT I’M DONE FOR

“when I heard that lady I knew that I had to go, but then stop again within inches of actually touching you because you smell like week-old rotten onions.” listen Kouta, I’m not saying I don’t get it, but you all can’t keep doing this to me. it’s the way you guys keep teasing it. like, if you’re gonna hug him, hug him. don’t just stand there with your arms held rigidly out in front of you like a molded action figure

OH MY GOSH BUT HE SAID THE THING

KOUTA SWOOPING IN AT THE LAST MINUTE TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR FIXING DEKU LIKE THAT ONE KID IN THE GROUP PROJECT WHO DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT STILL TAGS HIS NAME ONTO THE REPORT ANYWAY, WHAT A KNAVE

GASP

(  ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

SHE PICKED HIM UP LIKE A LITTLE BABY OMG?? she just leaned right over and lifted this child like he was a small animal. like a lil baby futon that she was about to hang up to dry. oh my god

-- HEY WHAT

(: well that’s extremely fucked up. though sadly not too surprising given what we just saw these past couple chapters

incidentally, I hope that anyone who was legitimately defending the civilians’ perspective earlier takes note here of how quickly that line of thinking -- “we’re just trying to keep our families safe” and all that-- can lead to straight up bigotry. if you’re willing to deny a child shelter and protection simply because he’s not YOUR child, and because you’ve decided based on Internet rumors (no real-world parallels there, I’m sure) that he might present a threat, it’s really not that much further of a leap to discriminating against entire groups of people simply because you perceive those groups as being dangerous. I’m sure the people who turned Gigantic Fox Lady away also told themselves afterwards that they did it to protect their families. “better safe than sorry.” “she’ll be fine, someone will take her in, but as for us, we can’t afford to take that risk.” people can come up with all kinds of justifications for treating other people as less than human, and the really scary thing about it is how fucking easy it is

one last quick side note, which is that Horikoshi does a great job here of showing how scapegoating works, given that AFO is the one who’s really to blame and who presents the actual threat, and yet Deku is the one who ultimately winds up being the target of the mob’s fear and outrage despite him being as much of a victim as they are. gotta love that irony, which unfortunately plays out far too often in the real world as well.

anyway I’ll get off my soapbox now, sorry about that. let us continue

YES, FINALLY OH MY GOD!!!!

AND THAT’S THE STORY OF HOW GIGANTIC FOX LADY BECAME THE GREATEST HERO. PACK IT ALL UP, WE’RE DONE HERE KIDS

holy shit. the real MVP right there. thanks for getting it done champ

jesus christ I have had it up to here with these people

literally the bar is set so low at this point that I’ll go ahead and take it. helping him because it offers them a tactical advantage is at least one step up from not helping him at all

“WHY NOT SHIKETSU” MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

-- thank you!!

okay this one guy with the antennae hair is having himself a character development speedrun here

-- okay, but this part?? fucking this part, right here??

can we repeat that again?? the part where this guy acknowledges that the problems of hero society were caused not just by said heroes, but also by said society?? the part where he acknowledges that they treated the heroes like celebrities who were putting on a show for them?? the part where he acknowledges that when push came to shove, the vast majority of those heroes, when faced with a situation that offered no reward, were nonetheless willing to put their lives on the line to protect the very same people who then turned around and blamed them rather than thanking them?? are the civilians of BnHA even allowed to have actual deep thoughts about this stuff. holy shit

bro!!

ANTENNAE HAIR GUY SHOVING KOUTA AND GIGANTIC FOX LADY OUT OF THE WAY TO SLAP HIS NAME ONTO THE END CREDITS AS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. CONGRATULATIONS SON YOU FIGURED OUT THE CORE PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION AT THE VERY HEART OF THE MANGA. WAY TO GO BUD

meanwhile, on today’s episode of “one more chapter to go till the big volume cliffhanger, how else can I drag things out let’s see”

it’s a panel. of people’s feet. just a bunch of normal feet. with sneakers and shit

this All Might shirt guy is getting more screentime in this arc than 90% of the class 1-A kids

I guess I’m supposed to feel sorry for this dude now that he’s all “if we let you stay here do you promise to somehow magically fix every single problem that we are now currently facing?” those are some ridiculously exacting standards my dude. come on now

KACCHAN SIGHTING

thank fuck I’m not the only one who’s thoroughly unimpressed by absolutely all of this lol. I feel better now. meanwhile Iida and Kouda and Kiri are ready to run over there and hug them all. you guys are way too forgiving. damn you and your pure hearts

anyway so Deku’s like “yeah, definitely”

(ETA: almost forgot to comment on the “I’m no longer alone” part – he basically corrects the guy and says “sorry, but you’ll need to direct that question towards all of us, not just me, because moving forward we’re a team.” good stuff.)

you know what though, all joking aside... fuck yeah. because perfect victory, right. the strongest guys don’t settle for anything less. so I guess Deku has pretty exacting standards himself

also can you all just take a look at this fucking kid who’s got so much light in his eyes now that I’m gonna need eclipse goggles. hot damn. “you’re welcome” says All Might Shirt Guy as he is frantically interviewed by several local news networks asking him how he daringly managed to save Deku all by himself. “well I guess I’ve just never been the kind of guy who can sit back and let a bunch of rabble-rousers blame a little kid for all of humanity’s problems. someone had to step in and take action, you know?”

oH MY GOD THE SCENE IS FINALLY ENDING

don’t let the door hit you on your way out All Might Shirt Guy

but meanwhile, sudden Tododrama action??

oh shit

there are honestly so many ways in which Ochako’s very moving speech could have wildly backfired that I genuinely have no clue where this is headed lol. how exciting!!

so now Horikoshi is once again stalling for time with random filler panels, but this one is 10x better than the shoes lol omg

(1) was Ectoplasm’s jacket always this oversized. (2) did you guys know that if you go back to chapter 319 you can see that Horikoshi gave us a sneak peak at Enji’s Sad Detective disguise and I in fact made a joke about it in the 319 recap not realizing it was actually the stone cold truth. (3) did Shouto deliberately speed up out of impatience because Hawks was walking so fucking slow and he couldn’t take it any longer. (4) and what, I ask you, is up with these dramatic speedlines. so many mysteries here. what a masterpiece

everyone is acting all shocked about something ahh what’s going on

wait what

what the heck. did they just loop around behind everyone. what was the point of that lol. “anyway, so this is what they look like from the back” well okay, thanks for that Ectoplasm

(ETA: so it seems like they were actually hanging out someplace else away from the crowd this whole time, I guess? here I thought they had more faith in Enji’s disguise. I guess Shouto and Hawks don’t particularly want to attract this crowd’s attention themselves right now either, though.)

I am so fucking confused lmao

speaking of All Might WHERE THE FUCK IS HE lol. but yes, good, OFA brings everyone together, and Hawks is very deeply moved about this out of the blue all of a sudden. you know how it is

aw heck yeah now this is another filler panel I can get behind

Mineta really wants that hug, good lord. I genuinely love this actually. Mineta if you could just stay little and cute and keep crying about how much you love your classmates in a non-gross way for the rest of the series I would be so appreciative. you’re doing great

IIDA IS HOLDING DEKU’S HAND THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ONE TIME WASN’T ENOUGH FOR MY MAN HE’S ADDICTED NOW

what did I tell you. Kiri wants to get all of the mob’s autographs now. Kiri you’re a peach

Shouji having a conversation with another mutant type is a very nice touch! we really need to get to his backstory soon. I feel like that casual remark from GFL earlier was kind of hinting at more to come

is this the first time we’ve ever seen the Yaoyorictionary in action?? never forget that Viz tried to call it the “Yaoyorozu Reference Book” because they hate fun

last but not least, KAMIBAKU IS BACK ON THE MENU, FUCK YEAH. Kaminari trying to spice things up and introduce a little bit of controversy by smacking Kacchan on the back of the head for god knows what. I will be deeply disappointed after this if I can’t find at least one person unironically declaring that KamiBaku is now toxic and abusive

lfkdlWLWK TODODRAMA??

oh my god. Shouto’s face. Enji’s face. the back to “oyaji” again. the blunt, not-taking-no-for-an-answer, “I don’t know how much louder the universe can scream at you that doing things alone is not it, so hopefully you got the point” directness of it. fffdlkslj I’m so ready for this Horikoshi please don’t fuck it up my expectations are so high

HOLY FUCK

I SCROLLED DOWN AND HE WAS ALL “( ❛‿❛)” AND I JUST WASN’T FUCKING EXPECTING THAT OKAY. JESUS CHRIST. GIVE ME A SEC

lol okay moment over and now Enji’s pulling his hat down all dramatically like a world-weary Cowboy

OH MY GOD WERE YOU FACETIMING??

AHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: not to put Iida down or anything, but it’s kind of strange that Aizawa is all “the class rep sure did great” when Ochako is the one that was giving that whole big speech for like twenty minutes just now lol.)

(ETA 2: “thank god Iida stepped in just in the nick of time to keep Mineta from hugging Deku.” sorry Mineta I really do like you lately but it’s still low-hanging fruit lol.)

HE LOOKS SO SAD??! HE LOOKS LIKE HEARTBREAK ITSELF??! I AM BESOUGHT WITH THE URGE TO REACH INTO MY SCREEN AND PULL HIM INTO THE SAFETY OF MY ARMS??? MY GOD, AND I THOUGHT DEKU NEEDED HUGS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay I was gonna just hold down the letter H for a full minute and count it out loud but within about ten seconds I realized I needed to chill lol

-- but then again NO, I DON’T NEED TO CHILL, I HAVE ZERO CHILL, ACTUALLY, BECAUSE IT’S AIZAWA WITH A ROBOT LEG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

COMPLETE WITH ROBOT TOES FOR THAT EXTRA TOUCH OF AUTHENTICITY!! I LIKE HOW HORIKOSHI PUT ALL THIS EXTRA “!!!” EMPHASIS AROUND IT IN CASE WE COULD SOMEHOW POSSIBLY FAIL TO TAKE NOTICE. “REMEMBER, EVERYONE?” SAYS HORIKOSHI HELPFULLY. “REMEMBER THAT TIME AIZAWA CHOPPED OFF HIS OWN LEG?” oh wow now that you mention it we somehow forgot all about that. like who do you take us for

OH NO NOT THE SAD BOYFRIEND ANGST THAT I WAS SECRETLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WITH GLEE

well at least he’s not M.I.A. or back with the villains again like I thought he might be. still, that’s gotta be brutal to know your friend is in there somewhere, but to not be able to reach him again no matter how hard you try. that’s the kind of angst that pays off in final battles just when you most expect it. such is my hope, at any rate

what’s this now??

trying to decide if this is Horikoshi’s way of saying don’t worry about that, or his way of saying definitely worry about that lol

anyway so Aizawa is out here being all irresponsibly handsome once again. when is someone going to do something about him

here for Sexy Robot Leg Eyepatch Aizawa clenching his fists and making speeches about revenge. pretty sure we’re all here for that

WELL, WELL, WELL

IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME

I’M VERY GLAD YOU’RE ALIVE AND SEEMINGLY WELL, THOUGH!

BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THOUGH, ALL MIGHT

ffff. bracing myself for that cliffhanger next week. you’d better not touch one hair on this man’s head Horikoshi. I’m watching you 

[hoedorokishoto]

Trust - Part 1

Shoto Todoroki x Reader 

+ Minors DNI

| part | next

“You know, if you just stopped getting kicked in the head, I wouldn’t need to fix your gear all the time.” I said, my hands running over the smooth metal of Hitoshi’s voice modulator. Different from the first one I had made him 2 years ago; small changes being made to help your best friend become the best hero he could be.

“Maybe I miss hanging out with you. You are worth a swift kick to the head.” He said from behind me, walking around the room as he spoke. Looking at the various machines, weapons, and other projects I was working on in the workshop. I laughed at his response, shaking my head as I screwed the missing panel back into place.

“You flatter me.”

Hitoshi Shinso had been your best friend since before both of you were even born. Your dad and his parents, living next to each other since their early 20’s, experiencing drunken nights, sad days and the trials of parent hood together. So in turn you and Toshi had done everything together. First steps, first words and first days of school.

“I saw you and Mr Aizawa on TV.” I said beaming, the thought of him realising his dreams and making them a reality enough to make my heart soar.

“Oh yeah, it was pretty weird. Don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. Neither will Mr Aizawa.”

“Lucky you guys are so chatty.”

It was him who laughed this time, coming up next to me and hugging me into his side. I did miss him, his hero work and my support work taking up much of whatever spare time we had. Especially being 3rd years, our futures looming over us even more, having to make final decisions about our future. Gone were the days of dressing up as our favourite heroes and running around our homes catching our parents who pretended to be villains. Now all I seemed to think about where internship offers and upcoming exams, mathematic equations often overtaking my thoughts even in my dreams.

The gear didn’t need much fixing just a loose panel and a few scratches, something easy that I could fix in a matter of minutes.

“Good as new!” I said, holding up the voice modulator and admiring my handy work, then passing it back to Hitoshi.

“You’re the best Y/N, ramen is on me next time.” Hitoshi said, winking and taking the equipment from me. Placing it over his face and making the necessary adjustments.

The workshop was surprisingly quiet, usually filled with the noise of machines and steel clanging together. The music usually turned up to max volume as the other support course students worked on support gear for other heroes. Hatsume clearly wasn’t here because it had been a whole 3 hours with no explosions nearby.

“So how is Kaibara?” Toshi asked, quirking his purple eyebrow at me. I rolled my eyes at his question, stepping around him and back over to my tool bench.

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask him?”

“Well I only ask because you seem to know him a lot better than I do. Intimately I would say.”

“Ew, don’t say intimately. Are you 95 years old?” I said, faking chills and a look of disgust on my face.

Sen and I weren’t dating, I didn’t want to date him but the time we did spend together proved effective in helping relieve the everyday stress of living at UA and being a Hero Support student. The sex was good, and he was handsome, always considerate of me and never did anything I was uncomfortable with. The more I thought about it, the more perfect he seemed. He very well might be, but just not for me. There was never any substance behind my feelings for him beyond the attraction to sleep with him. If we did interact outside of the bedroom it was purely platonic, just friends and nothing more. As bad as it sounded, I was using him for personal benefit and nothing more.

"He talks about you a lot.”

I looked into his eyes and flipped my hair, a cocky grin overtaking my features.

“Well… what can I say?”

“Not like that you weirdo, he asks a lot of questions. He wants to know more about you.” Hitoshi laughed, slapping my arm, scratching the back of his neck.

“Do you guys not talk?”

“Why would we need to?” I asked, not quite understanding the question. My back to Hitoshi now, tidying my workstation as I waited for his answer. We knew what we needed to know about one another, our names, birthdays, and a few general things but beyond that it seemed irrelevant.

“I think he likes you.”

“Well I hope he does he puts his penis inside me Hitoshi.”

“You know that isn’t what I meant. He like likes you.”

I stilled; my back still turned towards my friend. My view of relationships was always clouded by indifference. I could blame it on the fact that my parents didn’t work out or I could blame it on my preferences, hell I could even blame it on my star sign. Whichever excuse I chose I always knew that deep down I knew that relationships would never work, and people were better off alone, if I didn’t fully give someone my heart there is no way that they could rip it out of my chest and step on it. I would never put myself in that situation.  

“That sounds like his problem, not mine.” I said coldly, picking up my bag and heading to the door, hopefully hearing the end of this conversation.

“Ramen is on you remember. I’m hungry.”

Without another word I flicked off the light by the door and headed out of the workshop, Hitoshi picking up speed to walk beside me, not saying another word.

                                                                *

The walk back to UA was always killer, that dam hill being the bane of my existence for the last 3 years. The silence was almost deafening, I could feel Hitoshi holding something back. Wanting to say something, something about the conversation earlier no doubt.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I can feel you being gloomy, more so than usual. It’s irritating.”

Hitoshi sighed, rubbing his eyes with one of his hands. Shaking his head as he stopped.

“I want you to be happy! Is that so wrong? What’s wrong with Kaibara?”

“If you like him so much why don’t you date him.”

“I don’t want to make jokes!” He said, stepping past me, and continuing up the hill.

“Why is this so important to you? You’ve never really cared before.” I asked, jogging to catch up to him. He didn’t answer, he just linked our arms and continued up the hill. Pushing whatever he was feeling down and sealing it away.

“Denki is having a party in the 3A dorm this weekend. Wanna come?” Hitoshi asked changing the subject and tightening his arm around mine.

“Mr Aizawa is allowing that?”

“Yeah, apparently it will be good for us to blow off some steam before the school year really kicks off. His words not mine.”

He sensed my hesitation.

“Hatsume is going to be there, she even convinced IIda to go.” He said raising his eyebrows.

“Wow, that is impressive.” I said matter of factly, nodding my head. The class rep of the 3A was known for being a real stickler for the rules. Keeping everyone in order and always being the epitome of a model student. Bless his soul, but he wasn’t really the party type. The picture of him in that environment was enough to convince me to go.

“Please, who is going to help me stop Denki from being an idiot?”

“Literally any of his other friends?”

“Yeah but you are so pretty, and he is a simp.” Toshi said matter-of-factly.

“Fine, but if I don’t see Tenya do his little arm thing at least once then I’m gonna be so mad at you.” I said giggling and tightening his arms once more.

“I can guarantee it, it will be Denki and a party. It’s like you don’t even know him.”

                                                               *

Me and the rest of class 3H had been instructed to be at Ground Gamma for a joint training session between 3A and 3B, the hero support students were to observe and help with gear whenever needed. Taking notes on current gear and seeing where adjustments were needed. As the future heroes got better at handling their quirks and being in tense situations some fights ended with a lot of damage. Whether it be to the heroes themselves or their gear, that’s where we came in.

I always seemed to forget just how big the facilities at UA really were, most of the grounds built to look like entire blocks of actual cities. Ground Gamma was made up of various exposed pipes and machinery, the combination giving a labyrinth affect perfect for heroes to improve theirs fighting skills in tight spaces.

Watching them was impressive, just how far they had come in a few short years was a credit to just how hard they trained every day. I felt safe and content knowing that these people were going to be patrolling the city one day and keeping people safe.

“Hey stranger!” a voice yelled in the distance, Sero’s tall body coming into view as he walked closer to me. Denki and Toshi following closely behind.

“Afternoon.” I said, saluting the boys as they got closer, standing on either side of me examining the work bench and tools that we had set up before anyone else arrived.

“How is my favourite little nerd?” Denki asked, nudging my arm with his and hugging me.

“I’m good, excited to see you guys train today.”

“Aw babe, prepare to be amazed!” Denki said, winking at me, his arm still slung around my side.

“Y/N could watch me burp the alphabet and be more impressed.” Hitoshi said sarcastically.

“You guys are so harsh.” He replied, clutching his hand to his chest and feigning sadness.

The group laughed as I turned around and prepared for this afternoon’s events. Ready to take notes and sketch new designs. The students had started filling up the platform, sitting in the groups they had been assigned, discussing the best plans of attack depending on their quirks.

“Everyone gather around!”

“Today will be a bit different, after today’s exercise we will be assigning you with new support students based on where we think the heroes need improvement and previous projects from the support course students. We will also be looking at your scheduled internships and work studies and matching you based on that so we can get all heroes and their gear to the best they can be before graduation.” Mr Aizawa said, commanding the attention of everyone on the platform. He wore his usual nonchalant expression, hair down and hands in his pockets.

Everyone talked amongst themselves about the recently learned information. As of right now I worked on Bakugo, Uraraka and Hitoshi’s costumes and support gear. The first two hero costumes were my entrance exam task, getting a rough design, a file on both students and their quirks and having to design according to that. Now making adjusts when needed or wanted. The most recent addition was two earpieces for Bakugo to reduce the noise of his explosions but still allowing him to hear regular noise, so he didn’t lose any sense while fighting. In hopes that his explosions wouldn’t damage his hearing anymore than it already had.

New projects were always welcome, in hopes of keeping my grades high before graduation. Hero Agencies always quick to offer students internships based on good grades and successful support gear.

“So to get this started, give it your best and good luck!” Allmight finished, the first two groups of students heading to their assigned bases to start training.

                                                             *

The training finished, class A’s teams winning the most training battles and celebrating accordingly. Cheering and hugging each other. My notebook already full of notes and sketches for potential changes and brand-new designs.

“Everyone please look up at the screen and look at who you have been given as your support students. There will be no changing so no complaining.” Aizawa said, already walking off the platform. Probably to wrap himself up in his sleeping bag.

There in large blue writing was my name.

Y/N Nanase – Hitoshi Shinso, Katsuki Bakugo, Shoto Todoroki

I looked over at the student who was newly assigned to me, there Shoto Todoroki was in all his half and half glory. One blue eye and one dark grey already staring back at me.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. ok im sorry you cannot post that thanatos and daphne panel and not tell me that isnt just hxp with hades painted a different color. thats like insulting bad in how lazy the art as become. also thats not how a kiss works, where did his mouth go?

2. i dont care if an artist draws their characters nude and w/ greek gods its kinda expected but its a purposely put in design feature and characterization and plot point in LO that persephone is barely legal with her age always being emphasized, is constantly sexualized without her knowledge esp by hades, and looks so young w/ several times of her just being naked while possible being a minor. like no wonder people get creeped out by LO even at first glance, that IS weird no matter how you cut it.

3. webtoon creators making nsfw work of their comics is not an issue lmao the problem in rachel's case is most of it is overwhelming about persephone being submissive and confused and even having hades call her a "little girl" and having it as the logo??? like if its behind a paywall thats one thing, but just cutting off the lower part and having it in print where kids can see it and disguising the context is disgusting. its not right, but i can see why some have some concerns about RS's character.

4. i know if it happens it wont be for awhile but god, the webtoons batman comic they put up is already up LO's butt and steadily climbing. If it actually pushes LO off it's top spot i'll be so happy. Not the hero we deserve but the hero we need. (PS its a good comic too, go read it even if you're not a DC fan!)

5. the LO porn rachel made wasnt even good lmao like a lot of was just uncomfortable to look at bc only hades seemed to be enjoying it and the other half just seemed traced from actual tumblr porn gifs so it just looked even weirder with her cartoon faces, like it was just weird? anyway congrats to rachel to somehow making even 4chan think she's gross. they literally invented bronies and even think that is weird.

6. I went to check out the reviews for the LO book preorder and they're all so funny to me because it's just so fake????? Tell me who the hell would call this story a delicacy. I'm not joking. One of the reviews literally calls it that.

I hate it. Anyway. Punderworld volume 1 is available to buy so buy that instead of LO y'all

7. fr the more i learn about the most popular creators on webtoons (not just rachel but ppl like the ladies behind lets play and age matters and basically all of the romance genre) the more im convinced being a straight white lady rots your brain. yall stay safe out there because none of you will be seeing the gates of heaven ✋🏾😷 

-----FP Spoilers-----

8. Making Themis pregnant made lo and mythology timline dont much up, bc themis was one of zeus's first wife(i think second) but bc their kids were looking undesireble he break up with her, but didnt mistreat her like metis, but he gave her this job as a law goddes, and later marry hera. So if she is pregnant and she have only kids with zeus this would mean that he and hera would be couple for not too long, but their kids are older and in flashbacks it was shown that hera was his first choice.

9. The reason actually Law gods/goddesses are gone is cause reasonable people with any kind of morals will be against Persephone. Even if they're getting paid by the richest guy in the world to defend her.   Only those who have not only drank the HXP Kool aid, but have downed an entire bowl of it through a funnel like a sorority girl at a frat party will be allowed to defend her. As is right of course. No contrary opinions about HXP are allowed in LO, lest you be labeled a villain by our Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Queen and her Mansplain Manipulate Manwhore King. All Hail HXP. #Asspollo

10. um im sorry, even ignoring how dumb of an excuse "maternity leave" is bc shes a goddess why would they need time off, but like??? you really mean to tell me it wouldnt be badass to show a working mom bring her baby to work to defeat zeus at this own game??? like wouldnt that be actually feminist and show the power of women?? rachel sucks so bad at being "progressive".

From OP, not anon: Themis is currently pregnant.

[gffa]

Hi Lumi, thanks for not turning off anons yet, I've wanted to message you for months but I am crippling shy and couldn't bring myself to do it off-anon, haha. I just wanted to ask, do you read any of the Star Wars comics? If so, can you recommend any? I am new to the fandom after The Mandalorian and I really want more Darth Vader content, if you have any recs I'd be very grateful! I love your blog and literally every piece of content you post! Thanks Lumi!

Hi!  I’m glad that I left anon on just for this then!  I do indeed read a lot of the Star Wars comics, though, I go in fits and starts with them, like a lot of people do. 😂 My recommendations are: - Star Wars 2015 (by Jason Aaron) + Darth Vader 2015 (by Kieron Gillen) - I put these two together because the first 6 or so issues are meant to be read concurrently, they’re events crossing over into each other and showing different aspects from different points of view, and I think it really helps to enrich both stories if you’re alternating between the two for at least six issues. Beyond that, they’re both just really, really solidly good comics!  They’re set just post-ANH, where Luke is discovering more about being a Jedi, where we see Vader discovering the identity of the pilot who took out the Death Star, where Leia is dealing with the political stuff of the galaxy, etc.  They’re probably still some of the best comics that SW has put out, imo! - Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith 2017 (by Charles Soule) - This is the second Darth Vader comic series (so pay attention to who the author is--the current ongoing one is by Greg Pak, which is solidly good, but hasn’t yet hit the same heights as either of these, for me) and it’s set in the aftermath of Revenge of the Sith and this is easily my favorite SW comic.  Soule really digs into the connection between Anakin and Vader, how they are very much the same person, how the first volume of Darth Vader comics is about who Vader is during the OT, the Soule one is about flaying him open to understand just how he cannot face what he’s doing or the other choices he could have made. It’s over the top drama (it’s SO DRAMATIC and I LOVE IT) in a way that really highlights just how awful Anakin has become, that he is crushing even more of himself and you can see him losing still yet more and more, eventually leading to something like the OT version we know from later. - Obi-Wan & Anakin by Charles Soule - This is only five issues, as well as I generally recommend reading it two or three times, because Soule is actually pretty solid about not always spoon-feeding you everything and how the narrative arcs and parallels are more subtle than you’d expect from Star Wars.  The art in this one is stunning, the worldbuilding has a ton of cool details, you get to see bb!Anakin considering leaving the Jedi Order and why he decides to stay, as well as some really fascinating connections to how the Jedi see the galaxy and how Anakin sees it. - Age of Republic by Jody Houser - There are eight issues of this maxi series, each one focusing on a different character, and they’re all really interesting and have some amazing character moments.  My favorites are the Obi-Wan and Anakin ones, there’s a lot you really get to see about their relationship and how supportive it actually is, but all of them have really great looks at the characters they’re focusing on. - Jedi of the Republic: Mace Windu by Matt Owens - Okay, fair warning, the art for this series is not going to be for everyone, there are some seriously wonky panels in it, but the story itself is a great look at Mace’s character.  Both for the bits of backstory about him and for about how the Jedi look at the galaxy, that Mace Windu is such a rich, wonderful character and deserved a look at him like this.  Bonus, Kit Fisto is hilarious in this comic! - Star Wars Adventures by multiple authors - Basically anything in the Adventures line is worth reading!  Most of them are fairly light stuff, not super deep, they’re meant to be cute stories, but I’ve enjoyed all of the ones I’ve read and the prequels ones usually have some moment that’s completely batshit in a way that’s totally true to Star Wars.  They’re kid-focused comics, but really, really adorable ones. - Clone Wars Battle Tales by Michael Moreci - Speaking of dramatic fun, this mini series is just an absolute scream, they’re totally ridiculous in the way that I would read a hundred issues of them.  Plus, you get some really great Jedi moments or Anakin hilarity moments and I’m always down for that, too. - Kanan: The Last Padawan by Greg Weisman - Speaking of gorgeous art!  Never will you see a woman as beautiful as Depa Billaba in this comic, my goodness.  But you also get the story of bb!Caleb going through Order 66 and the trauma of running in the galaxy as a former Padawan who had their Master gunned down in front of them and, boy, did this comic know how to make it hurt.  There’s some cool worldbuilding in there, some amazing looks at the Jedi pre-Order 66, and just a whole lot of feelings. - Shattered Empire by Greg Rucka - This is a four-issue mini-series with a) gorgeous art and b) a whole lot of connective tissue/aftermath for the galaxy post-Return of the Jedi.  Rucka’s writing is solid here and you get a good variety of different characters and the paths they’re starting down and what they’re planning to do next, and it’s just a very solid read. - Poe Dameron by Charles Soule - I really didn’t expect to love this comic as much as I did, but Soule really knocked it out of the park and created a funny, moving, interesting journey for the character.  Even if Poe’s not your usual fave, the work this comic put into being interesting and connecting various things and telling a fun, actiony story really was good. - Age of Rebellion and Age of Resistance are both solid mini-series that I would definitely recommend!  My heart beats for the prequels, so I’m more focused on those, but if you’re interested, these are great looks at individual characters, too. HONORABLE MENTIONS: - The Princess Leia comic by Mark Waid is one I haven’t reread in awhile but I remember greatly enjoying it.  I’ve enjoyed Soule’s current 2020 Star Wars ongoing comic, though, because of the pandemic, it hasn’t had a chance to get a ton of issues out yet. I enjoyed the Darth Maul mini series by Cullen Bunn and, if you wind up liking Aphra from the first Vader comic, she gets her own spin off comic that’s really solid, too!

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2020 - June 13, 2021

2019-2020

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: It's our first morning

Date: Aug 20th, 2020 Time: ~ 2:18 h I really like how this one turned out!!! The 2020 Emma b-day edit has a lot of major panel redraws, but this is probably my favorite. I I really enjoy how I made the shadows work!! And the ear banfage looks pretty neat. Nice!!! Immagine

#2: Norman birthday edit 2021

Date: Mar 20th, 2021 Time: ~ 2:21 h Awww, soft Norman :') There was a bit to redraw, but I think everything turned out pretty neat!!! I believe everything works out fine. Though looking back at it, the part of the ID I added is definitely top small :')

#3: Manga dub: Yuugo gets knocked out

Date: Mar 27th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:05 h Here start the Manga Dub redraws to which I gave my everything ahah. This one turned out nice! I think the shoes turned out particularly good eheh. I like how Yuugo's clothing lineart- for the texture, I wanted to go for something heterogeneous, but I'm not fully confident in the final result. Gilda looks very rushed but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#4: Manga dub: Yuugo makes his dramatic entrance

Date: Apr 5th, 2021 Time: ~ 4:02 h This is pretty cool!!!! The coat took ages to redraw, but sis it turned out perfect!!! I'm very proud of this.

#5: Manga dub: RayGildEmma hug!!!

Date: Apr 9th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:31 h Awww, a beautiful panel I was really happy to have the chance to redraw. Taking into account what there was to redraw, I'm actually surprised with how little this took! Ray's backpack was a pain to make, but I think it turned out fine. I'm very happy with Emma and Ray's heads!!

#6: Manga dub: Formalities

Date: Apr 12th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:31 h It is not always easy to give sense to Demizu's perspective, but I do my best!!! In this I am *so* happy with how Don and Ray turned out, they look neat! The background on the other hand... It took hours to make ahah. I'm not fully confident in the perspective, but I'm happy with the details I've added- I really did my best to make it look like athe other manga panels and I think it paid off!!!

#7: Manga dub: We may be weaklings, but we're still alive

Date: Apr 30th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:37 h This little Emma is so cute!!!!!! I think the redraw turned out pretty perfect. I'm really satisfied with how this one turned out, and it's such a cute little Emma!!!! She's so brave and optimistic, I love her. It's a shame this panel didn't make it to the episode :')

#8: Manga dub: Goldy Pond Gang

Date: May 7th, 2021 Time: ~ 8:44 h lmao This is probably the panel redraw I'm the most proud of ever :') Just think everyone turned out very nice!! The ceiling is not exactly perfect, but it still works somehow. I'm very happy with how Gillian's back turned out!! I don't really like the fading effect on the right, but 8h in I got pretty tired of working on this ahah

#9: Manga dub: This is Goldy Pond

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 1:29 h I'm very glad for how the Manga dub has been challenging me to learn to redraw backgrounds, something I had quite literally never tried before. It can be a little frustrating, but it's so satisfying to see the final cleaned piece!! With this panel, I also learnt to use copy and paste, which is something I had never done before beyond texture

#10: Manga dub: Good morning doctor

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 3:42 h This is another background that turned out pretty good!! That one Norman is one I knew I would have had to fully redraw sooner or lager- the background was a bonus ahah. I'm very happy with the final result!!

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: The Promised Neverland manga ending edit

Date: Jun 14th 2020 Time: ~ 12h 41min (5h 45min of cleaning panels in the edit + 5h 37min of cleaning panels that didn't make it to the edit + 1h 19min of resizing) + time spent cleaning panels I've deleted the file of so I can't see lmao This is overall very nice!!! The concept of an Emma evolution through her back is cool, and I think overall the edit turned out very aesthetically pleasing. The concept idea came to me while I was working on the 2019 Emma's birthday edit, a long time before the manga ending announcement- back then I wouldn't have imagined using it in occasion of the manga ending, but I think it ended up making a nice tribute. The colors add a nice touch, since so far my edits had always been black and white- it makes a sweet closure. To make that edit I selected 76 panels of Emma framed from her back; I plan to make other versions of that edit using the discarded panels eventually!

#2: Emma - Chapter 181: Beyond Destiny

Date: Jul 12th 2020 Time: 2h 57min My last edit for the manga 🥺🥺 I think this one is my very "manga ending edit" because to me it really signed the ending of weekly chapters and their weekly chapter edits. It makes me a little sad to look at it, but it's also, I don't know, kinda sweet to see how I grew both in my panel cleaning and as a person since I first started my blog. I'm glad I got into TPN!

#3: Emma birthday edit 2020

Date: Aug 22nd 2020 Time: 8h 54min This one turned out so well!!! Though I used the same concept for all the trio edits, I think this one is the best one. The two panels on the left / two panels on the right alternation combo never fails ahah. The colors are nice (shout-out to my sister for making me a palette), despite the fact that it was hard for the lighter ones to make them work with the images without having those disappear. I'm very satisfied with the panels I chose for this, I think they work really good together! Also, it got me very happy to read everyone's comments saying they liked the fading effect in the last panel :)

#4: Emma + Eyes Close Ups [1/?]

Date: Jan 24th 2021 Time: 5h 55min This one was really nice!! Another idea I got when working on the 2019 Emma birthday edit I was glad to finally execute. Started the edit in September, finished it in December. I'm overall very happy with how it turned out... I hope I will be able to make more in the future!

#5: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (9/?) » 114 // 122

Date: Feb 23th 2021 Time: 5h 7min (panel cleaning only) Aaaaahh I really like this one!!!! A parallel I love very much, and I'm really happy with how the edit turned out. All the hair redrawing looks neat!!!! The gif is maybe a little excessive, but I think overall it's a nice edit. I like it!!! Fun fact, I completed it on August 26th 2020, but I couldn't find the right moment to post it ahah.

Honorable mention: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (5/?) » 08 // 16

Date: Aug 30th 2020 Time: 2h 52min (Second picture cleaning only; I deleted the first picture art file so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) I don't have much to say about this one except!! It turned out very nice!!!!! Love the pen lmao.

Top 10 analysis:

Too many analysis,,

#1: Post chapter 181 Emma analysis

Date: Jul 9th 2020 Mmmh a nice analysis. I think it was important for me to put down in words what I think of Emma's characterization and the manga ending, so I'm happy I did it!

#2: A long Oliver analysis because I love him very much

Date: Dec 6th 2020 What can I say I just love Oliver tons 😔😔💕💕 This was very fun to make!!!

#3: TPN s2 previsions

Date: Jan 14th 2021 Really love the effort that went into this + me proving that 11 episodes GP could have possibly worked + it's just a lot of fun to read again after s2 ended pffft

#4: More s2 delusional previsions lmao

Date: Jan 27th 2021 I think the points and previsions I made where pretty neat!! In my defense, it was pretty impossible to predict the anime would have ended with this season. I always feel honoured when friends and Anon ask for my opinion, I'm like "you wanna know what I think? Wow. I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍) " Thank you to anyone who ever sent me an ask!!

#5: Why Emma not wearing pants is 𝕨𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘

Date: Jan 29th 2021 Really proud of this!!! Pants Emma is important!!!!!

#6: Post episode 5 manga Emma analysis

Date: Feb 4th 2021 A depressed analysis, but a necessary one 😔

#7: Norman analysis

Date: Feb 12th 2021 I love him!!!! And I'm happy I eventually got to put down in words what I love about his character. The day I posted this ww3.readneverland was in maintenance so I couldn't use the volume scans for it- the thought of that post having fan edited and fan translated scans still haunts me

#8: RayDon rambles

Date: May 12th 2021 I had a blast writing this and like. It's likely the post of mine I reread more often of them all. I love this ship tons!!!!! I'm satisfied with how I put down in words what I like about them. I LOVE THIS SHIP

#9: Chapter 58 analysis

Date: May 23th 2021 I've wanted to express this concept since like the first time reading the manga- I'm so happy I finally did!!!! This concept is one of my absolute favorite things about tpn- the feelings that people are good. The concept that kids who got to live in an healthy and supportive environment will always be inclined to kindness and altruism, because humans are just inherently good. From the Three Character Classic: “people at birth are inherently good”. I want to have faith and courage to hold on the goodness in myself, and to hold on the goodness in the world, no matter how difficult it to do that (Chloé Zhao).

#10: Norman and Lambda squad relationship analysis

Date: May 24th 2021 I think this was a pretty sharp analysis and I like what I did with it!!

Other stuff:

#1: Krone birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th 2020 This edit is so good ;; Like not perfect since it was my first attempt at coloring gifs but still I believe it turned out so good ;;;;;; The time and effort that went unto this is crazy, but... Maybe I'm happy to have dedicated time to something I like for a satisfying result.

#2: Get to know my ship- Wolfpack Trio

Date: Aug 24th 2020 Uuuh a good post. A good ship.

#3: Gilda + blank glasses

Date: Aug 27th 2020 This is such a cute nice compilation!!! I love looking at it. A few panels are missing but still :')

#4: Apollo Ray AU

Date: Sep 7th 2020 (Though it was written Sep 2nd 2019 lmao) I'm so happy I finally gathered the courage to post this 😭😭 I really enjoy what I did with this AU, so this one and its other installments are all posts I have a lot of fun rereading. More than everything, I was astounded and overjoyed by the positive response it got: that gave me tons of confidence to put my ideas out there, no matter how unique they sound!!! Here's to hoping I will be able to post my RayEmma Hadestown AU, by other big AU from late summer 2019 :')

#5: TPN timeline project

Date: Dec 2nd 2020 This is like. I don't know it's a lot ahah. Arguably the project I'm the most proud of ever making. I'm just so happy of all the months long hard work and of the final result!! The post didn't receive much response (though the ones I got were extremely kind and sweethearted so that totally makes up for it), but in the end I don't really mind? I'm just so proud I accomplished that idea :')

#6: TPN calendar

Date: Jan 4th 2021 A nice sum of the tpn timeline + everyone's birth dates!!! I really like how it turned out visually. It's a cute little tpn calendar!!!

#7: Ray smiles compilation

Date: Jan 17th 2021 Ray's smile. That's it that's the post :')

#8: Trans Oliver headcanons

Date: Jan 24th 2021 MMMH really like this headcanon I think about it a lot

#9: Thoma and Lani theory

Date: Jan 28th 2021 I really don't want to brag but this is the best joke I've ever made :')

#10: My TPN AUs

Date: May 10th 2021 Ok you gotta admit those are very good AUs, I'm glad to have made a list out of them!!!

#11: Ranking Emma promotional art outfits

Date: May 16th 2021 This is one people seem to have liked a lot which makes me happy ahah. I'm glad to know we can all agree Emma deserves more pants outfits!! Please stop it with the gendered clothing :') This is the post I want to be remembered for

#12: TPN musicals AU part 2

Date: May 20th 2021 A GREAT POST I can't stretch enough how happy I am with those character-song associations. I hope I have time to make a part 3 in the future!!

#13: TPN Drive folder

Date: May 30th 2021 This was born as a way for me to have all the tpn extra contents easily accessible, but I'm happy to have shared it with people- I hope it will turn out to be useful to others too!

#14: TPN s2 recolorings

Date: Jun 12th 2021 A more diverse children cast is good for the soul :')

That's it, this year was really fun!! Thank you to everyone who supported me through it, I can't express how grateful I am for all the kindness and validation I received. Here's to many more months in the fandom!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

[themightyaliendwarf]

TPN s02e08

Maaan, what an rollercoaster! We literally go from amazing to fine to incredible. Which kinda makes me angry because this is how this season SHOULD look like. Okay, fine, let’s skip Goldy Pond, but let’s make it equally amazing as this. Just in an anime original way. And this episode proves they COULD do it. It’s a pity that it took them over a half of the season to reach this point. But let’s start from the beginning.

1. So, Peter Ratri is voiced by Yoshimasa Hosoya. I was joking with my friend that it might be the reason why the quality of the animation isn’t always the best - because he took a half of the budget. Anyway, I think he is doing a good job with voicing this character right now, but I will wait with the final judgement for the Peter’s meltdown scene. 

2. Just a fun fact I read in the manga: apparently when Isabella tells Norman that he is going to a new home, Shirai used the kanji that can also mean ‘cage’. 

3. Another thing I loved: they showed how Norman found about Vincent. It’s shown in the extra pages for one of the volumes (I don’t remember in which one right now).

4. Again, I like that the first 7-8 minutes were fully focused on Lambda. I think that this is something that anime-only people really needed (without the context, it’s difficult understand how MUCH those guys hate the demons and why). And for manga readers it was cool to see it in colour. But on the other hand, I’m kinda disappointed that they just showed us the images of the experiments. I think adding movement and sound would make those scenes absolutely terrifying. But hey, at least they showed it!

5. So, we found out a little bit about the escape, buuuut it was nearly as much as I was hoping for. Based on the panels in the manga, we could have already guessed that they used some kind of explosives. I guess we still need to wait for another special chapter/light novel.

6. Annnd after the amazing lambda part we jump to the search... Now, do you know why this whole thing was more engaging in the manga?

Because we got her. I don’t think it will be controversial if I say that the search for Mujika was really boring. Just a bunch of pictures and building up suspense by showing us that CGI demon. Speaking of that demon!

7. You know what pains a lot in this episode? SO MANY reused animations. I mean, the test solving animation, the demon, the chase, later the demons degenerating and demons eating other demons... look, I know they want to save money, but there are some limits!

8. Apparently Ray, a guy who has been living in the wilderness for months, needs a watch to tell that sun is setting. Just a minor nitpick that I had to point out. 

9. Okay, I think we can official crown Norman as our new edge lord. I mean that monologue on the top of the rock... I know that words are from the manga, but when it’s shown like that, it looks more silly than serious. Also, the quote ‘I will gladly become a God or a devil’, doesn’t make THAT much sense here, because we didn’t get this scene:

To me it felt like unnecessary fan service towards manga readers, but I’m happy for you if you liked this scene. Norman is allowed to become our tiny edge lord.

10. You know what made me angry? Don and Ray shooting the demon, but Emma and Gilda not. Yes, Emma does it a second later, but it became a trend to give her badass scenes to boys. The next scene, however, made me furious.

11. Ray shoots the demon and then he and Emma share a sigh of relief. But then it turns out that the wild demon is still alive and it’s going to eat Emma. Wait a minute... I have seen it somewhere... OH, RIGHT!

Of course, there are situations where Emma is the one who is being saved. The problem is that in the anime she is always being saved by someone - never the other way around. I’m happy that Ray is given stuff to do, but why is it that he is given Emma’s stuff. Come on!

12. Also, how did they know that it was Norman who caused the explosion? How far did they actually went? Are you going to tell me that they were in practically the same location for months and nobody found them? Again, those are nitpicks, but they bother me a lot!

13. Also, apparently the drug is now spread through the air, and Norman’s whole gang is made out of edge lords who need to stand dramatically on the chimneys. I can imagine that during planning they had a conversation similar to: - Boss, do you know what ever genocide needs? - What? - Dramatic JoJo posing over the burning villages.  - Good, good... write that down!

14. Okay, enough ranting, let’s move to the incredible stuff. First of all, the music in those last scenes really reminded me of the Witcher Soundtrack and I LOVE the Witcher soundtrack. So epic! 

15. I actually stopped taking notes at this point, because I was so immersed in everything that was happening on the screen. The music, the tone, the colours, the expressions - THIS! This is what this anime should be from the very beginning. Making us care about the demons, and showing that they are also the victims of this system. The actual dread and thriller, the moral issues, engaging plot lines.

16. The scene with the old demon and Norman? Good anime original content? How is it possible? When the old demon asks Norman whether he is a human and he doesn’t answer - because at this point he himself isn’t sure. Yes, give me more of that!

17. Norman being terrified after seeing blood on his hands? That’s a good change from the manga Norman, because it makes narrative sense. Really, CloverWorks, how can you make such an amazing scene after those 6 mediocre and one good episode? 

Anyway, it’s difficult for me to add anything right now because I don’t feel like I have enough words to describe how much I loved that last scene. Does it mean I have forgiven this season its previous sins? No, but I’m a happier person right now, and I’m REALLY looking forward into the next episode.