#this volume hits so hard
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Volume 23 of Boys Over Flowers has still got to be my favorite, hands down.
Not only are we getting the Tsukasa that absolutely stills my heart every single time:
But wait! There's more!
We also get Anti-F4 developments & shenanigans
But wait, there's more!
included in this volume is possibly the first real confession from Tsukushi, after a devastating loss!
This volume has everything and it gets me every time. Nothing has me closing my phone or turning over the book to process what just happened like this one, folks. This is it for me.
#also this reread has me missing that more versions don't keep the sakurako character around more#she's great#this volume hits so hard#it's got everything#funny sad bittersweet#what more do you need?
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of those we keep in the dark
#witch hat atelier#wha#tongari boushi no atelier#tbna#qifrey#coco wha#olruggio#agott#hello. i caught up. to volume 12#what if i exploded#i am soooo normal over qifreys behavior and the parallel injury coco gets i am so so soooo normal#as u can see#i cranked this out in one day the visual hit me so hard out of NOWEHERE#forgive any mistakes i was going crazy in my room. needed to get thisout#hades draws#wha spoilers#thequality looks bad in my preview pls look good when i post#just in case#i beg#also finding i rlly rlly like to do those little hatch lines from the artstyle hehe...#implementting it into my art forever now#ok. i should sleep#good night good morning or good evening to u
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kitchen of witch hat vibes
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i have more stuff but this looks like a normal post someone normal would make#MR QIFRY SOUNDS SO GAY IN KITCHEN VOLUME 3. WHAT IN THE. every single word he says.#i'm sorry i scorned the translator because i thought orufrey was being made less gay. i still have Quibbles but im sorry.#sensei drew live orufrey in canada but i dont know that actually bc if i read about that i would feel so jealous i'd feel sick! thank god#(takarazuka talk->) REIKOUMI.......i have not thought of zuka for months bc i really drifted away due to reasons#and it was hard to feel the full emotion i should be feeling. :( mix of depression & witch hat atelier hyperfixation#that makes it physically impossible sometimes to access lain aside feelings that i really do feel#BUT...right at the end of the sayonara show with the long long held kiss and the music suddenly everything HIT and i started bawling#they were/are deeply deeply special. i will NEVER forget what they mean..i'll go on my personal reikoumi pilgrimage leading to tokyo raku..#i love takarazuka even if i love witch hat atelier <- Autistic affirmations
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Wishing you were somehow here again…
#turn that volume UP#song hits hard bro#also I’ve been busy lately so updates have been inconsistent#phantom of the opera#poto#the phantom of the opera#poto art#art#phandom#phanart#erik the phantom#the phantom#fanart#phantoms#phantom art#phantom broadway#alw phantom#christine phantom of the opera#phantom#christine poto#poto 2004#poto fanart#phantom of the opera 2004#christine daae#wishing you were somehow here again
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yknow sometimes the way trans women talk about testosterone and being on estrogen is indistinguishable from the way terfs try to convince afab people not to start hrt
this is not a criticism mind you, their experiences are their own and completely legitimate, it's just a matter of competing needs - they need a safe space to talk about their dysphoria and how testosterone makes them feel and i need to not hear about how i am destroying my body with hrt
ordinarily these things are pretty insular to transfem circles but since instagram has been feeding me transfem content i'm seeing it more and more and yet again the algorithm is fucking me
#ransomrambles#like a friend of mine in absolute genuineness told me how my skin was gonna stop being soft and my hair was gonna thin out#and she obviously wasn't trying to dissuade me from hrt .... but like ..... thanks for leading with that mate#with estrogen it's the - no downsides- people often say there aren't many downsides to taking e - save some erectile dysfunction#but when it's the other way it's - make sure you're really sure cause you're permanently ruining your body forever#like i get that - my skin feels so soft now - is an estrogen experience ..... but the reverse framing is not helping anyone here#that's just all you hear about testosterone hrt - a list of downsides you'll have to cope with#idk this isn't a fully constructed thought#like i said trans girls deserve the space to have that conversation#i just need to not be in that space cause it obviously hits me differently#but man the sheer volume of trans girls talking about the /damage/ t has done to them .... in dis tinguishable#the aside to this is also a lot of girls being like i realized i was a girl cause of xyzq#and the list is the same as the one my mother used to be like - see you must be a girl#so it's just tough#competing access needs are hard to manage#and that's why life is best on the curate your own experience webbed site
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hmm
hmmmm
I feel like these are related
are no women Admitted or are other women just hearing this down the hall and going NOPE and turning around
#real question is how are there any men here either#Grantaire ffs#LM 3.4.4#someone should try to do this monologue at Shout level volume and see how it goes#not me I'd die#tbc I know this is not the official reason for that situation#but also. I'd be hitting the back button so hard IRL XD
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UH OH.
#i was missing a lot of random volumes of these as a kid so there was foreshadowing i missed#WHOOPS. UH OH. WHOOPSIE DAISY#i like how i could have screencapped so many insane things in my reread#or like hard hitting moments. all marcos repeated 'bright clear line' quotes#but its 'hey jake how do you keep from worrying we're gonna die' rachel says that gets me huh#m text#animorphs#jake#rachel
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wait off topic if I change Cinder's semblance for my rwby canon-adjacent au.... would this be controversial editing to warn people that the tags are novel length but that i love them and also @graythegreyt pls read them when u have a chance
#wick lore#i have asked myself this question with almost every character but for cinder i was thinking abt her dustweave (?) clothing#dustweave. dust infused. something like that#her v1 outfit that has the design on the sleeves that lights up when she sends out fire. that's her using fire dust that's in the cloth#but as far as i know this is a detail that literally never comes up again like we never see anyone else with clothing like this#so i asked myself. what if that was her semblance instead. that she had the ability to sew dust into cloth#how hard would it be for the girl modelled after cinderella to know that her semblance required her to do domestic labor to be used#thus explaining why it doesn't show up in later volumes because once she gets the maiden powers she thinks she doesn't need it#idk i think making her semblance be 'she can heat stuff up' and thus making her semblance indistinguishable from maiden powers#for the entirety of the series. is a bit of a waste. bc semblances say a lot about characters right#i know there's a point to be made about like. it manifested as that at that time because cinder has always been angry etc etc#but wouldn't it hurt from a different narrative angle. to have her semblance be dustweaving. when she doesn't have any money#no money to buy dust with but a semblance that makes her a skilled and incredibly rare craftsperson but can she bear to sell her skills#when they've been used against her for so long? when all she's known is hard work and grit and sweat? when it's probably dangerous?#anyway i think im about to hit the limit for tags but. lmfao. the possibilities!!! also the association between handsewing and the HOME!#something she's always wanted but never had. a safe place to sit by a fire that she doesn't have to tend and do her work...#also like the possible tension with mercury bc she's wishing her semblance was more offensive + merc's like BE GRATEFUL YOU HAVE ONE???#i headcanon that mercury has a semblance though. that he has silver eyes and his dad took those from him by making him hate the world#...anyway#goodnight
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why am I like this
#there are some reeaaallly funny ones tho#i had to take a second screenshot bc i laughed so hard i accidentally hit the volume button on the first one
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Why am I like this
#I'm so frustrated with myself#I wanted to have dinner two hours ago but I just didn't#and now I've sat around for two hours really hungry doing nothing#so I've wasted two hours I could have been productive during#and now I'm barely even hungry anymore I just feel kinda sick and so angry with myself#and I really doubt I'll manage to get anything done once I've finally cooked and eaten dinner#because it's late and I already feel tired#and the fact that I'm so upset with myself certainly doesn't help either#I can't focus when I feel like this I just want to cry and scream and hurt myself#which sounds so dramatic over absolutely nothing I know it's stupid#but I just get like this sometimes#I was already feeling kinda on edge all day and it's just getting worse#everything is so loud and I'm stressed and overwhelmed#my head already really hurt but I just hit it so hard god I'm so stupid I wish I wasn't like this#as if giving myself more of a headache was gonna make anything better#god I can't do anything#and why does this man need to watch tv with the volume at max#I fucking hate it here#and now I don't want to eat the thing I was planning on making but there's nothing else and I'm hungry but also not#and I know I can't do anything else until I've eaten but I just don't wanna idk I'm too upset to eat#I wish I was normal#personal
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oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands
#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him#so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a#complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully#reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how#peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later.#he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've#read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what#the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've#probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give#brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which#isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want#you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i'#a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of#as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love#when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me#this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade#girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the#same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her#mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them#romeo.txt
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she like doesn't even know how much dysphoria she's going through 😭
#she has no idea!!!!!#hopefully with this reread I'll be able to pin down when i think she remembers being trans#presumably it's at or around the time she remembers fuji#gods she was so deeply depressed in the first few volumes it's kind of hard to watch her go through it even tho i know it will get better#honestly the depression and whole identity crisis actually hit harder and make a lot of sense under this headcanon#cue 'another great idea from ME' reaction image !#transfem haruka tag#tactics tag#no id
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-4fGPKi34xddcFk3msZFnc_UWYCMndkquW7UkGQE83I/edit
AAAA OKAY SORRY SORRY TRY NOW!!!
-💤
IT WORKS NOW eeeee yay thank you so much!!!!! this made me so emotional (in a good way!)!! i just cannot tell you how honoured i am that you did this for one of my stories like.....i genuinely don’t even have the words to describe how incredible that is and how lucky i am to have you here with me. thank you so much for sharing this with me, i will cherish it so very much ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)
my thoughts on each song beneath the cut!!!
family tree - ethel cain
i totally see what you’re saying here!!! ugh god i love ethel cain so much, her music is just so perfect for so much of my work in terms of vibes and atmosphere yk what i mean??? so i was so glad to see that u included her here!!
demolition lovers - mcr
there’s a dozen reasons in this gun has got to be one of my favourite lyrics ever, wow!!! but also, i loved the whole last minute or so of this song!! i know that’s where the lyrics you selected are from, but i just feel like that entire final verse describes the trajectory of dabi and reader’s relationship??? from their first meeting to that last scene with keigo in the hospital.
i would die for you - in this moment
okay, YES. yes, i completely get what you mean LMAO. just that ravenous, all-consuming, downright obsessive love, us against the world type, those who continuously swallow each other whole just to spit them back out again and repeat the entire process. loved it so much <33 VERY dabi x reader!!!
voodoo doll - the funeral portrait
oof okay this song hit so hard it made me sob. as i’ve said before, tag you’re it is a very personal story to me, having grown up with and lived with (and been parented by) addicts for my entire life. because, honestly, addiction doesn’t just hurt the user, it hurts everyone who cares about the user, too. i’m not gonna go too deep into that but i loved everything you had to say about this song and i agree with you one million percent, you hit the nail right on the head!!!
life vest - the material
okay let me just take a moment to bask in the fact that the motel scenes are your favourite because i worked SO insanely hard on those scenes LMAO <3 two bodies with one beating heart oh i love love love this. but yeah!!! at that moment in the story especially, dabi is her life vest; for the majority of their time there (right up until the end) he discards his manipulation and casts off his selfishness and allows himself to just be with her, to be there for her, for completely selfless reasons, because he truly does love her. it is a crucial point in their relationship!
tears don’t fall - bullet for my valentine
ooooh yes okay!!! one of the lyrics that really stuck out to me in this song is there’s always something different going wrong / the path i walk’s in the wrong direction because it feels very keigo, especially since he was the golden boy who fell from grace, essentially. adding onto your selection of lyrics, the her conscience calls the guilty to come home also kind of reminded me of the guilt reader feels for leaving keigo, and how that guilt kind of repeatedly calls for her to come back to him, sometimes in the form of keigo himself.
everybody sells cocaine - motionless in white
holy fuck i LOVED this song!!! and you’re SO right, btw!!! dabi is constantly tempting keigo, taunting keigo, ‘testing’ keigo in the most twisted, unfair ways ever. i don’t even have anything to add, i just agree with you wholeheartedly.
jupiter - flower face
omg yes this is VERY dabi x reader during their budding relationship in part one especially. also, these silly games we play / stupid ways to make you stay / my heart’s split open on display / i can’t wait another day pretty much encompasses them fully <33 also also, rly loved the lyric it must be holy to feel something so pure makes me think of dabi as he initially starts to truly fall in love with her—real, pure, sincere! okay i just got to the end of the song and tbh, i think there’s even an argument to be made here for part two as well, and the way their relationship progresses, the concept of home, etc.
luna - wisp
feeling u hardcore on the chest aching with this song. it’s just the melody, you know??? it feels so infused with raw emotion. this one also kind of reminds me of the sex scene in part one AHAHAHA but that’s more due to how hazy and fragmented reader is <3
bottles - the material
oh yeah, for sure! alcoholism is still substance abuse, and it is still addiction. oof this is another one that made me like, super emotional. just rly struck a chord!! i love everything you’ve pointed out here, and i also love how the chorus (in particular the lyrics those bottles are everywhere / and i can’t be everywhere / to keep them from you) reminds me so much of how reader feels towards keigo’s addiction for the majority of the series; she so desperately wishes to save him from himself, she so desperately wants to help, to be useful, but she truly cannot be everywhere cataloging all of his actions all of the time
aaaah WOW sleepy!!!! incredible playlist, thank you again for sharing it with me and the rest of us here on inkykeiji!!! your selection of songs and the order in which you curated them was just genius, i am so blessed to be able to experience this <333
#so so so good#i feel like you understand the series SO well#and i think the fact that some of these songs made me seriously emotional just speaks volumes to how well you got the story#and possibly how hard it hit with you as well#aaaah i just want to keep saying thank you hahaha#this was such a treat sleepy!!! i am going to be listening to this playlist like all day tomorrow ehehehe#i hope you have a splendid week sweetpea#pls stay safe and drink ur water <33#💤.anon#clari gets mail#tag universe
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Hair update: there's alot of it
#gamer txt.#washed it yesterday so its actually got its volume for the first time in like. a month#the depression hit my ability to shower real bad but were cool for a few days at least#of course now that theres so much hair its too heavy to properly fwomp out at the top but thats just accurate to real lion manes#so im not fussed#there is more at the back actually i might try to show that#kinda hard picture to get though
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its probably bad that i want to go sit in the corner of the guard room and cry for old times sake
#this post brought to you by winter percussion#aauughhh how do i make my hands do what they need to#just like when i was in guard#i dont know how the fuck my body is supposed to move and i cant just wiggle around until i find the right movement because 1: itll be wrong#and 2: i wont know what the right movement feels like#and i also have a hard time because i need to think conciously about how i have to move even i do know the right way#so thats a lot of steps with knowing the right notes rhythms dynamics and how hard i have to hit it for what volume and tone and technique#aaauugghhhh :((#unsolicited life updates that you definitely dont need#candlelight musings
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what the fuck do you mean. what the fuck do you mean. what do you mean tape recorder. stop please.
#LISTENED TO EP 10.#i was listening to it on the bus right and i was trying so hard to focus because the file plays so quietly?#don't know if it's my headphones or i keep downloading it in such low volumes but whatever.#i was listening. imagining and thinking.#i had associated the clicks like the sound of match hitting against the fire thing ? like when i listened to tma#and was normal about this sound i used to be like “oh matchstick sound!”#i listen to this episode and i heard the click and then i think matchstick sound ! not yet drawing the conclusion of the tape recorder#BUT THEN THEN immediately i think oh shit matchstick sound i know what that means#yeah. not very normal.#the magnus protocol#rusty quill presents: the lack of Eyes is causing me unease.
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