#this video is pure serotonin to me

[oscarisaacsspit]

i love him

[wooahaes]

serious question. do you think the giggle at the end of ruby is woozi?? bc i definitely think he's a giggler

mmm nope! it probably could be, but woozis laugh is different from that (<- has watched the svt laugh compilation like four times by now). its like... too high pitched to be him imo? i wanna say it feels like Stock Woman Giggle (tm) if that makes sense skhdsf but idk! doesnt feel like him tho

also know that the first time i listened to ruby i missed the giggle entirely. i think i was too busy losing my mind bc i loved the song so much tht i didnt notice sdkhfdsfh

[sturnsbae]

heyyy can you write smth about matt calling the reader "my baby" in podcasts, videos and even in front of their families without caring who's around?

MY BABY - MATT STURNIOLO

warning: very very soft matt, so if you’re not into pure fluff then this story is not for you!!

—

matt never fails to express his love for you. he’s so passionate about loving you, and making sure you know that. one day around the beginning of your guys’ relationship he had accidentally let a new nickname slip, and you fell in love with it.

you were wrapped in his arms cuddled up in his bed as both of you were dozing off. “i love you. you’re my baby,” matt had groggily let slip out of his mouth. the corners of your lips had turned up when he said this.

“i love that nickname,” you had said. so then it became yours. all yours.

~

the guys are recording a podcast episode on happiness and your name is brought up per usual. matt’s face lights up immediately and a big smile appears on his face.

“oh yeah she’s a huge form of my happiness. it’s like an instant serotonin boost whenever she’s around, she’s my baby.” he smiles, not at all ashamed that both of his brothers are around, as well as all of the viewers who will be listening to the podcast episode.

“it’s so cute that you call her that,” nick smiles in awe.

“it’s disgusting nick, don’t lie to him,” chris groans.

“shut up chris, you’re just mad that you’re single,” matt retorts.

~

matt’s phone rests on the center console of the car facing with the screen up. he’s in the middle of talking to nick when he feels a buzz and notices his screen light up out of the corner of his eye. his head turns and he notices that it’s a snapchat from you.

he grabs his phone and leans back in his chair as nick and chris bicker, opening the photo from you and immediately blushing. he bites the insides of his cheeks to prevent a smile, but ultimately fails when chris calls him out on his so called “antisocial” behavior.

“dude get off your phone, stop being antisocial! we’re filming!” chris rolls his eyes.

matt shuffles to put his phone away, not enjoying the sudden spotlight on him. “sorry sorry, i was just snapping my babyyyy,” he sing-songs to piss chris off.

“ew dude! i hate couples,” chris huffs and crosses his arms as he slides down in the passenger seat.

“you’re just mad that matt is cheating on you with y/n,” nick chuckles from the back seat.

“you know what, you’re right!” chris says as he sits up and gets close to the camera shaking his finger at it, “you know what y/n! i’m matt’s passenger princess not you! and i was his baby first too!”

“oh my god,” matt laughs and rolls his eyes playfully at his brothers antics.

~

you were visiting his parents in boston for the first time, and you were beyond nervous to say the least. it was such a nerve wracking feeling to be meeting the most important people in his life besides you and his brothers.

“they’re gonna love you, y/n. you’re my baby, they know how much i love you. they’re gonna love you just as much, maybe even more!” matt reassures you as you both walk a few paces behind his brothers in the airport.

you give matt a nervous smile as you both approach the car where both of his parents are waiting in the pickup line. mary lou quickly gets out of the car and hurries to hug her boys, before approaching you and matt with a big smile.

“hi sweetie,” she smiles to matt

“mom, meet my baby y/n!” matt smiles as mary lou wraps you in a tight hug.

“it’s so nice to meet you, mrs sturniolo,” you smile.

“oh please honey, call me mary lou,” she smiles at you. you then walk off towards the trunk and put your bag into it. as you walk off, mary lou turns to matt, “now i see why you call her that. she’s such a sweet and pretty girl. you did good, matt.”

—

i’m sooo sorry if this is bad it was so rushed 😭

[sweetkpopmusings]

felix coworker headcanons <3

a/n: i've got headspace focus music playing and i'm in my stray kids feels today so here is another coworker headcanons post !! this one realllllyyyy catapulted me into felix feelings, so i hope it brings you comfort and serotonin as well <333 pics not mine !!

content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 0.9k | warnings: none really! some mentions of food | pairing: coworker!felix x gn!reader | requests: open

oh sweet felix!! 

you’ll never forget his first day–the receptionist was walking him through the workspace, introducing him to everyone, and explaining their roles. felix, a genuine ray of sunshine on that gloomy monday morning, smiled and waved at everybody with pure enthusiasm :’-)

when the receptionist introduced you, felix pointed at the mug on your desk and commented on how cute he thought it was ! you could practically hear the exclamation points in his voice when he spoke :,-)

later in the day, you noticed he was struggling with the coffee machine how rude of the coffee machine

you offered to help–though admittedly, you didn’t know much about it either–and he was so so grateful someone was being this kind to him 

like he actually was so touched he ended up telling his friends about it that night :,-(

but anyways back to you and felix vs. the coffee machine

eventually you did get it working…you just pressed different buttons a ridiculous number of times until felix’s hot chocolate came out properly

once his mug was full, felix cheered and high-fived you, promising to pay you back one day for your service

you assured him that he doesn’t owe you anything and that you’re happy he isn’t defeated by the coffee machine on his first day

that led you two into a conversation about what it’s like to work here, the do’s and don’t’s of the office, the cool people, tips and tricks for boring meetings, and so on

felix looks up to you so much after this interaction :,,,,-)

he calls you his mentor <333 

it doesn’t matter that you work in completely different departments–even the person who is supposed to be mentoring felix refers to you as his mentor lmao

at the end of his probation period, felix bakes brownies for you because he swears he wouldn’t have survived this long without you to keep him company <33333333

you two share the brownies during your lunch break while watching silly little videos 

it’s so cute that everyone is jealous but they wouldn’t dare interrupt because they know for a FACT that you’re felix’s favorite

aside from being your personal baker, felix loves to play little pranks on you in the office

they’re super harmless–i’m talking pranks like leaving stickers in random places around your workspace, so you can transfer them to your laptop or water bottle whenever you find them–but he is THRILLED every time you get a surprised look on your face as a result of his antics

there’s no doubt in your mind that felix was behind it, so you look over to where he’s sitting and he’s just staring at you like >:^)

while he’s too far away for you to hear him, you know that he’s doing his classic little heh heh and plotting his next attack :,-)

felix also has cute polaroids at his desk !!

you get him one as a gift :,-) and he cherishes it so much !!!!

it’s displayed at the center of all his polaroids and he even wrote “from y/n <3” on the bottom of it so everyone knew it was his most special one :-( 

he encourages you to decorate your desk because he thinks it's important to have things that make you smile while you're working !! and he's so right for that

if you don’t know where to start, felix will dedicate an afternoon to making a mood board for inspiration

he loves nothing more than shopping online with you for the perfect items

felix gets so invested that he helps you to organize everything and workshops all possible setups before you both decide on the best one though honestly he’s more concerned about it being the optimal arrangement than you are lol

after your new desk decorations are complete, felix proudly takes a picture of you at your redesigned workstation

when you make that your profile pic for your work chatting platform, felix just about faints from happiness

he’s practically twirling his hair, giggling, and kicking his feet when he messages you “nice profile pic!!” :,,,,,-) <3333

felix, though known as being happy-go-lucky, is far more in-tune with your emotions than you realize

if you come in sleep-deprived, felix is the first one to ask you if you would like coffee/tea/a pick-me-up

when you’re feeling stressed due to an upcoming deadline or having a pile of work upon your return from vacation, felix stays late with you to prioritize all your tasks so you have a clear game plan

he’s also always, always, always reminding you to take breaks !!

it’s a mini tradition for you two to do desk stretches together :-( like you just look at each other from across the workspace and do the same stretches while making funny faces at each other and holding back all your giggles :-((((

activities and conversations with felix become so embedded in your daily routine that you can’t imagine how you got through the workday before he started here

one quiet afternoon when you two are hanging out in the breakroom, you ask him why he takes such good care of you

without missing a beat, felix smiles and answers, “i promised you i’d pay you back for helping me out with the coffee machine on my first day, didn’t i?”

all you can manage to do is smile and i’d be tearing up if i were you because, just by stepping into the breakroom and offering a hand, you met the brightest, sweetest, most loving man on the planet

little do you know, felix also can’t believe his luck in meeting someone as caring, reliable, and wonderful as you <333 

this is why, sitting in the breakroom where your friendship began, he pinky promises to stay by your side through coffee machine problems, stressful workdays, and whatever else life has in store for you :,-)))) 

oh i love felix so much i'm inconsolable my sweet baby angel </33

[lyss-butterscotch]

Your art and designs are epic, I found your Tumblr through a dub of one of your comics and I'm so glad I did, your iterator and slugcat designs just have so much character it makes me so happy, I also loved the elden rain stuff especially since I just started elden ring.

Speaking of elden rain, what build do you think saint used? Pure faith?

Aww thanks alot!! Im glad you like my art!!! They are just my serotonin skrunklies ^-^

And for elden rain i actually wanted to base Saint's build off of this video

Wanted to give them the sword too in the comic but i decided the sword was too much for Saints design already. Gave them specifically the Golder Order build because ya know, the triple affirmative powers and all lmao

Have some doodles of saint with actual elden ring gear!

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi!!! Since you are so diligently sticking to your schedule (you’re so inspiring babes), I thought I should at the very least try to get this review to you on time too! Imma just combine parts 5 & 6 in this one so apologies if gets too long. Also, I haven’t really had a chance to scroll and read through other people’s reviews for part 5 so I’m so sorry if I end up repeating what everyone else may have already said.

FIRST OF ALL, Back to December as the lyric reference for Part 5 was *chef’s kiss* - mainly because that’s gotta be one of my top Taylor songs of all time, ah the wistfulness 🥲

DREW cameo!! The only one with brain cells. Cause he’s right, they’re all stupid! (But we love them anyway).

“Please don’t get married Paigey,” Drew pleads, gripping his sister’s hand, “please.” ­– this really got me though. Poor Drew, like he never imagined he’d be having to witness his sister ever marry someone who wasn’t Azzi too! He just wanted his pookie back 🥺

Paige finding out about Azzi’s pregnancy through TikTok feels very on-brand lmao (ugh does that mean there were Olivia and Paige edits once upon a time 🥴), and them still commenting congratulations on each other’s post about the engagement and the pregnancy to keep up the friendly act killed me. Could. Not. Be. Me.

Katie and Paige interactions have my whole heart. Whenever I think about them, I always end up thinking about that immunity booster video so I’m glad it got the mention in part 5!

What is it with you and these damn phone calls, Nivi!! “You’re gonna be a wonderful wife P.” “You’re gonna be an amazing mom Az.” – once again, cue “and it would have been sweet, if it could have been me”. WELL IT COULD HAVE IF Y’ALL WEREN’T BEING STUPID (sorry, had to channel my inner Drew there).

“Please don’t speak in riddles. It’s 10 a.m and I’m sad,” Paige whines. She might be in her early thirties but there’s something about Katie Fudd that makes Paige feel like it’s okay to be a bit of a child. – Obsessed with this because I just feel like you perfectly captured their relationship with this line.

“You’re so goddamn dramatic Bueckers,” Katie rolls her eyes –so real for this cause Paige really was being dramatic af since Azzi left with Stephie. Standing on the porch for way-too-long just staring into the distance then breaking down in the fort and not moving for 3 hours. DRAMATIC. But like sad 😔

The comparison between Paige’s expression when talking about Stephie and Tim’s when he first met Azzi. I was waiting for something like this! My heart.

Steph (old) cameo! I’ll allow it, cause despite my hatred for the Warriors, I do loooove that man.

“What defense can a 5 year old play…” – idk why but I had a good chuckle at this, I just love when you pull these one-liners, the comedic timing is impeccable.

Katie with some GREAT lines too.

Pleaseee, not the UNCLE TWIN and TWIN NIECE 😆 I knoww Steph (man) loves the fact that his goddaughter, who’s prolly gonna go on and be a Golden State legend herself, is named after him.

I know it’s super cute, but I do be cracking up a lil everytime Stephie and Paige reunite cause it’s always so goddamn dramatic. Like girly pops please, it’s barely been 24 HOURS 😭

Yeah, Paige gonna be SPOILING her queen and their princess forever.

THEY KISSED.

I may or may not always let out an undignified squeal when I see a high school era flashback. Like those are always my favourites fr. You just never fail to make them feel so nostalgic.

Their first kiss, damn Paige really been a lover girl since 16 huh 🥹 Also the transition from their first kiss to what could be their last first kiss was perfection!

Although, idk if the “slow” that Katie had in mind meant kissing already but hey, they’re moving!

Look, as long as we get at least one cute family scene with our fave trio then that’s all the serotonin I really need for the day (week) and the scene with the flowers and the car seat was exactly that, pure serotonin.

Paige and the Fudds reunion 🥰

Stephie really is ride-or-die for her perfect Miss Buecks!

“Dumbapples” – LMAOOOO sometimes the brain cells just don’t always be braincelling.

And they finally get a redo on that sleepover, where no one leaves, at least not until pancakes have been served.

What’s next?

I’ve been thinking about the break-up too much- like when in 2025? Was it during the season? So before the natty?? But like there’s no way you could be that cruel, Nivi! You couldn’t have them finally winning the natty only for them to be heartbroken while doing so?

Or worse, have them win the natty and make P think she’s got everything she could ever want only for that to come crashing down not long after??

But like definitely pre-draft night maybe?? I guess that would make sense with Azzi overthinking things and worrying about being left behind? Sorry, am just thinking out loud atp!

But like were there already cracks forming even earlier in that year?? Cause if so, I’m curious about Paige’s proposal and the timing of it hmmm. My braincells are attempting to be braincells.🧠

I’m still awaiting that Drew and Azzi reunion cause Drew being so heartbroken that he really tried to stop the wedding all by himself hurt me. I can imagine for Drew too, how much he probably looked to Paige and Azzi as his ideal of what a relationship and love is, only for them to fall apart as well. Plus seeing how close irl Drew is to the Fudds makes me big sad for GH Drew 😞

I can’t wait for Coach P and Player Stephie dynamics!! The favouritism is really not gonna be subtle no matter how hard Paige tries 😃

Soooo, Part 6 was suspiciously too fluffy ya know, I feel like you’re just setting us up. Giving us a taste of joy, only to rip it from us next chapter. I’m on evil writer Nivi watch.

Favourite lines/quotes:

“Did I know that my granddaughter goes to her godfather’s special camp for the sport that her mother plays and she’s obsessed with?”

Because the view in front of them is beautiful but Paige’s eyes are on Azzi and she’s staring at her as if the view is nothing in comparison. – side note: this line and this scene made me nostalgic for the stargazing scene in the UCLA fic 🥹

Alright bestie, this review is a biiig boi but I thought I owed you for being late with the part 5 review so hopefully this makes up for it a little! Also, I’ll prolly be late in reviewing the next one if (when 🤞) it’s out next week cause life is lifing so I’m sorry in advance 😭

Thank you as always for keeping us warm and fed! Hope you’re doing well btw!! Is the baby fever still at a high? Cause I was at the park with my friend and her 1-yr old the other day and omg he was being the sweetest little bean ever and the baby fever was FEVERING but then I realised I’m a baby (adult) too so I promptly brought the fever back to reality 😅

Love ya Nivi, have a great week ahead bestie 💗

-🙋‍♀️

BABES HELLOOO <3 I've been waiting for your thoughts!

This whole fic is very Back to December coded and it's one of my top 5s too and it just fit so well with chapter 5

#FreeDrewBueckersFromDumbassPaigeyAndPookie my poor little man was traumatized and they need to make it up to him immediately

I LOVE KATIE FUDD. And she just gives such entertaining chaotic mom energy and I feel like especially with Paige, she really keep that girl humble (and holds her when she needs it)

The 1 references galore because while I won't subject y'all to an actual depressing fic, I simply can't stop myself from adding the vibes

LMAO Steph is so universally loved I kinda adore that man and he'll be making an appearance again at some point I think.

Listen Stephie and Paige are the definition of matching each other's freak except it's matching each other's dramatics like they're gonna run into each other's arms like they haven't seen each other in years every damn time

Katie tried to nudge them and didn't realize all these idiots needed was a tap to literally full-speed a head (well with some breaks of course)

I cackled writing dumbapples ngl

The marriage proposal is definitely before the draft...that's all you're getting lol

Y'all think Azzi's guilty now when no one's even saying anything to her, just wait for Drew Bueckers and his way with words :)

I am also very excited for more Curry Camp scenes!

I don't think anyone loves or understand the stargazing the scene the way you do babes and I appreciate it <3

Ah lovie, review whenever you can. Even if it's months and month later, I will still be just as excited to read your thoughts!

The baby fever is in fact still higkey baby fever-ing and I don't know how and when it'll stop but I'm not even really trying to stop it.

[starredsmile]

i have to keep this video framed somehow as a reminder that it is possible to feel serotonin in my veins from excitement <3 that life gets better and i will have things to smile so much about !!! that i will discover what it feels like to be truly insanely happy FOR someone else out of pure love and admiration and that its the type of love thats so warm and fulfilling that it helps keep me going in life

[knifeforkspooncup]

for the asks: Queen, nebula, angel cake :)

Thanks for the ask anon! You saved me from doing laundry, it was a close call there.

Top 5 artists:

I just did 5 artists so I'll do 5 of my top hyperfixation songs from the last year:

Sweet Dreams - evanescence (the music video is mommy tbh)

Long, long Time - Linda Ronstadt (yes because of TLOU, I am not immune to apocalypse gays)

Storms - Fleetwood Mac

Sound and Vision - Bowie (pure serotonin)

Enemies to Lovers - Joshua Kyan Aalampour (such a good instrumental song I put it on loop to write)

Something you've done that you're really proud of:

I taught myself how to make stained glass panels a couple years ago. There's one I'm really proud of that was really technically difficult and I am proud of it, but you'll have to make friends with me in DMs to see it because I am not ready to have this account linked to my real name lmao. Also definitely really proud of myself for consistently drawing these last few months! I had no idea what I'd be capable of this time last year.

Are you a sweet tooth?

Good lord yes. I'm picky though. I do love a good baked good or cheese cake, and I am a sucker for honey in my tea or coffee.

[absolutebloodychaos]

Also special mention to this post I made because he's too adorable:

https://www.tumblr.com/da-proti-toku-grem/730434640781934593/i-will-never-shut-up-about-this

And this video I found on yt a while ago because ✨him✨:

https://youtu.be/9HqkQe3kub4?si=Qw0kdkl8rxONi60r

Okay this is the last one I swear, I just love him so much :(

I have now viewed that post and good lord it gave me the biggest boost of serotonin I swear.

Also I have watched that video a bunch and it is truly just pure happiness juice, a wonderful thing to watch when feeling depressed or stressed or just when you want to be happier😁

[bluiex]

To me nothing will ever be funnier to me than this:

Grian meeting Tubbo for the first time: hes just like me fr, lets start a group about scar :))

Grian meeting Tommy for the first time: ‘i want this kid OBLITERATED’

(bonus, to anyone who watched Scars POV of the Lava Rising go watch Tubbos. Tubbos pure uncontrollable excitement before the stream is pure serotonin ❤️❤️❤️ Its adorable!!

I love that Tubbo also immediately walked up to Scar and spammed screenshots- Those vods are gonna be my new comfort videos sjdkhkdfg

[colormepurplex2]

Just piggybacking off your response to the anon ask that you posted a little while ago. I absolutely love fantasy stuff, and dragons are my favorite. I've found a couple really good dragon JK fics on tumblr, but I wish there were more. I guess it's such an obscure trope. Even hybrid isn't liked by a lot of people. I don't know why. I love the world building idea. There are no rules, and you can let your imagination run free to create. So I'm really glad you wrote a dragon fantasy piece. I hope you decide to write more fantasy stuff in the future, whether it be another dragon story, or vampires or fairies. We need more fantasy fanfics out there.

Lovely Erica!

Lucky for you, I have 8 fantasy or fantasy adjacent WIPs right now, everything from vampires to A/B/O and demons. Then, there’s 11 on my ML already (including On Wings of Mist & Memories). I’m glad to be able to provide at least one more dragon JK fic :) !

The ‘no-rules’ aspect of fantasy is what attracts me the most, I think. I’m a huge world builder enthusiast and it gives me so much serotonin to do. I’m a big D&D and RPG video game enjoyer, too, which definitely bleeds into my fic writing when it comes to crafting lore and creating worlds. I love, love, love all things fantasy, pure and simple hehe :)

[astroboots]

Hamsteven submissions

Just want to take a moment and tell you that everytime I log in now there'll be a notification in my askbox and I JUST KNOW there will be hamster videos waiting for me, and I love that for me sfm! I love you guys, thank you! they make me so damn happy, Hamster videos are like pure serotonin to me!

I'll try to work on the next part in the coming days, please feel free to come into my inbox with scenarios you guys would like to see in the series and I'll do my best to work them in!

[crowtrobotx]

Man, I know you shouldn’t do this. But I was staring with increasing bitterness at the kudos/hits on Chrysalis and sinking further and further into the whole “what even is the point” mindset I’m so prone to. Probably this was triggered by having come to expect a handful of kudos with each new chapter and this time I didn’t get… any.

I think Bri is probably the only person who knows how personal this fic is to me and how much of myself I’ve poured into it. And I don’t really want to divulge what that means to everyone - maybe one day - but just rest assured this fic isn’t just the manifestation of an irrational love of a video game character (which it is, of course) but it’s… somewhat healing for me. And a gift to myself. And it took a lot, and I mean A LOT, for me to even put it out there.

I’m not saying everyone needs to shower me with praise and affection at all times, or that I think I’m uniquely incredible at what I do, or that I need validation to keep going - I am much more motivated by spite anyway lol. And I for sure don’t want to minimize the folks who have been devotedly commenting on every chapter, have texted me outside of here/AO3 to talk about it, have made FAN ART (which is crazy!!!!), have reblogged every chapter and sent me asks. I appreciate it so so so much and it means more to me than I could ever verbalize.

But like, damn. Sometimes the sadness has hands and sometimes it’s the absence of folks you thought would be there that’s all you can see, y’know?

And then I decided to look at the other Heisenberg/OC fics, and the ones that are purely platonic, and basically anything that isn’t 2nd person w/smut or part of a popular canon x canon ship. I looked at ones that came out right around the game’s release, ones that came out last week.

And like, damn. Chrysalis has a staggering amount of engagement in comparison, especially when you consider I published it two years late. I didn’t have an AO3 account at all until fucking February 2023. And that makes me feel sort of good, but now I’m just mad again lmao. You should not have to jump into things at peak popularity or have an established following or include popular pairings/tropes to have your work get noticed. I mean, logically, I know this is just how media and art works to an extent - and I’m not saying people who do write/create in the popular fandoms for popular ships are doing something wrong - but it really shows how unwilling folks are to step outside their comfort zones and read things that they think they’re not interested in or won’t like.

There are platonic, x oc, rarepair etc fics that are so stunningly beautiful that it feels criminal for them to only have a handful of commenters and kudos. And honestly the people writing these are doing so with an insane amount of passion because you HAVE to in order to keep finding the strength to publish that next chapter when you know you’re explicitly going against what people insist they want. Again, this extends to more traditional art forms too - how many fucking brilliant books and paintings are out there gathering dust because the creator didn’t have the right connections or they didn’t make something that had mass appeal?

I always try to do the “what advice would I give to someone in my position” exercise with stuff like this. And of course I would reference the reality that if you have ONE person who is cheering you on, it’s a whole complex person you’ve made happy and that’s a miracle in and of itself. And some folks don’t WANT to be noticed - they are much happier with small circles and good for them! But also - I don’t think people are wrong when they start feeling crummy from seeing their work get steamrolled or comparatively ignored.

Idk. Idk where I’m going with this except to say I really wish people would expand their fic libraries (and their media/art consumption in general) to include more than just whatever the current hyperfixation is because it gives them serotonin. Take a chance on something different, within reason. (I know someone will try to respond with OH SO YOU’RE SAYING I SHOULD TRIGGER MYSELF or something like good god, no.)

There are some truly awesome popular works and creators out there. Please don’t interpret this as me being some bitter small platform blog ranting because I’m not being elected prom queen. All I’m doing is thinking out loud and sorting through my own spaghetti brain. I think I’m gonna spend part of this weekend sorting fics with the least engagement/popularity first and leaving some comments on them.

It’s a brave and beautiful thing to make and then share art, no matter the form it takes. People deserve to be reminded of that. Frequently.

[chaosciara]

I need to hear about your instagram crush 👀 🍿

oh my god jae I do not think you know what you’ve just opened by asking this of me😫are you ready? I could talk about this boy for HOURS!

let me take you on a Journey™️

so some things you need to know about me first:

1. my obsession with pretty boys (and people in general) extends far beyond me crying about them on tumblr (which I do quite frequently). ergo pretty boys tend to pop up on my instagram feed as fashion influencers, dancers, singers, pottery artists (this is a very large niche apparently?) and most frequently: gym goers.

2. now another thing you need to know about me: i DO NOT gym. beyond not being even remotely interested in it, I also have a myriad of joint problems (shoutout jana (@disappearsreappears ) for being metaphorical cane-babes together) and therefore going to the gym and doing cool gym stuff is not really an option for me. so naturally I don’t actively engage in gym content for gym related purposes, in any aspect of my life

3. but nonetheless because I love pretty boys, and THEY love gym, I get a lot of gym content on my Instagram.

4. another thing you need to know: I spend a clinically distressing amount of time on instagram. like if you think I waste away on tumblr, instags is at least twice as bad :/

5. that means I get through A Lot of content in one day. but, while I’m pretty liberal about what content I watch and engage in, I’m quite strict about who I follow. instagram is a nightmare of suggestions and recommendations in the home feed, the explore page, and the reels so the small amount of curation I actually can do, I keep under strict lockdown.

6. therefore despite having lots of fun seeing pretty boys in my reels and smiling ridiculously at the screen as they attempt to hit personal gym records for weird shit like russian deadlifts and bulgarian split squats, I don’t just follow every pretty human i see.

7. in fact, unless I really really like your videos (/content) and they surpass my usual serotonin boost I don’t care how many times you come up in my feed I probably won’t follow you.

8. one more thing about me: I have two instagram accounts — one I created in 2013 and has been on private and will continue to be on private since then (it’s my main Instagram where I follow all my people from). and the other I started in 2021 to post more of my chaos things > that one is public and full of nonsense and I don’t follow anyone from there cause I use it purely as an memory book of sorts (it’s linked on all my tumbles so I’m not linking here but the important thing is that it’s public so anyone can see what I post < that’s important for later)

okay onto my Instagram crush and (self proclaimed) love of my life 😫

scott ho (aka @/scottoho) popped up in my reels in January this year (I think it was jan it may have been the undefined time between dec and jan but I’m like seventy five percent sure it was jan) with this sinful video (I’d like to defend myself at this point and say not all, in fact almost none of, the gym related videos that pop up in my feed are this…slutty… though I’m certainly not complaining). and I was like oh my god he’s preetttyyyyyy.

but I didn’t follow him (see above) I just liked the reel and moved on. but (for those who managed to avoid the instags hellscape) interacting once with something on there will most definitely prompt an entire slew of that account’s (and other accounts like it) content. so over the next few days I got a couple more scott related gym videos.

usually I take about a month or more to follow someone if I keep seeing their content and like it. it took me two days to follow him😫I saw an arm workout, a leg workout, and my absolute weakness, a back workout

I was SOLD!

pretty boy ✅

shows us pretty back muscles✅

and one of his posts had him looking gorgeous in a baby blue sweater at a fucking art gallery✅ (lord I’m still unsure how I survive him)

now yes he was a pretty boy I followed but he wasn’t, at this stage my instagram crush. no, not yet. a couple weeks and many videos go by where I’m happy to see him on my feed and enjoy his content

15 jan (I know the date cause I sent his vid to a friend I was crying about it to) rolls around and a leg workout pops up. INSTANT LOVE. I don’t know what the fuck was in that video but I was GONNNEEEE about it. literally just tumbled head first into obsession

and that marks the day I started looking forward to see his content on my feed (clinically down bad at this point)

he then posted this video dancing to that adorable “sure thing” trend (“if you be the cash I’ll be the rubber band etc etc.”) and I melted straight into the earth’s core and immediately saved that video to my instags. I also went through the effort of reposting that video on my public instagram account purely so he would be able to see it! and he did! and he liked my story and I cried about THAT for about eighty five days

fast forward to me screaming shaking crying throwing up about him on a daily basis and telling my friend in LA she has to pack him in her suitcase when she’s coming back because I. NEED. HIM!!!! (she said she would but she also has my soju glasses and frankly those are still more important no matter how much I love him)

AND THEN: (cause no this is not over — I told you you opened the doors to hell)

he posted this video showing what he looked like before his workout (muscles less defined, skin not as flushed, so so gorgeous) and after (muscles more defined, skin a pretty pink, the most beautiful ever!). and the caption for the video was “before the pump and after the pump // can you tell the difference?”

and me (who is delusional but also forward as hell) commented: “pretty before, pretty after ✨” which he then responded to with “ur pretty during”.

JAE I DIED????!!!!!! HOW DARE HE DO THAT TO ME????? I FUCKING PASSED OUT!!!!!!

(and yes I know he was just being smooth with it and he defs has zero idea what I look like and he responds to lots of comments etc. etc. but love is delusional and I’m obsessed so I will continue to live in fantasy world)

anyway that comment (and his reply) got some attention (I’m still getting notifications about it which is extremely annoying does anyone know how to stop them?).

alas after this he posted a video where he and another influencer did a skit where they pretended to bump into each other by accident. it was very cute and I cried about it because the love of my life is in love with someone else what am I gonna do I can’t believe this😔😔😔😔I was in heartbreak central.

BUT after that I found out he played basketball (which is my favourite sport to watch) and I was back to WANTING TO MARRY HIM!

and then he posted a video showing his overnight oats recipe which I then reposted on stories with the caption “two meals in this video” which he saw and liked (when you’re in love those little instagram floating hearts really be giving you all the chemicals you need) (really at this point I’m just surprised my mother hasn’t called asking why I’m publicly thirsting over someone?)

anyway, I’m stocked up nice and full on my daily scott serotonin boost when a couple days later he posts a shoulder work out and I reposted that on my stories

(guys please understand I don’t follow him from my public account I really am so fucked I go through a whole process for reposting on the off chance he’ll see it UGH)

with the caption, “my only goal this year is to be so delusional I can pretend I’ll bump into @/scottoho on the street even though we live 10’s of 1000’s of km’s away from each other // it’s working btdubs (I’m so delusional)” which he REPLIED TO with: “maybe if you come to LA” and suddenly I had a notification from him in my direct messages 😫😫😫😫😫please I could not contain myself I think I crashed the metaphorical car . I was i n c o h e r e n t about it !!!

anyway after not recovering from that at all I am fully in the thirsting business when it comes to scott and I don’t see myself stopping until I get ignored because he got so popular he just cannot realistically reply to everyone (please that’s nightmare day😭😫) < can y’all tell I like attention?

ps. he posted the cutest ramble on his stories yesterday I watched it like seventeen times I can’t believe stories disappear I need to eat this man!

okay thank you for letting me take you on this journey. I hope you can understand I’m really going through it with him at the moment (because I’m fucking on crack and also delusional) and there will definitely be more tumblr posts where I cry about him (I can’t say I’m sorry)

mwah! sending love jae :) <3

[thedarkestgreys]

List five things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last ten people who reblogged something from you. Spread the positivity!!

tysm friend! 💕

1) ao3 email alerts. no matter what kind. pure serotonin. 💌

2) watching the toddlers pretend to play the piano like Bowser does in the Peaches music video while scream-singing the song with them. 🍑🎹

3) the halloween themed christmas wreath my mom is making me rn. it’ll match our all black christmas tree perfectly. 🎃👻

4) being an aunt. 🤰🏻👶🏼👩🏼👩🏼 (we got another one on the way this year!)

5) lemon crème oreos. 🍋