#this took way too long but i'm happy bc i learned a lot of new things in ps!

[kimdokjas]

✧･ﾟ✽✾ happy birthday, kim dokja (feb 15) ✾✽･ﾟ✧

@animangacreators action genre challenge favorite action animanga

[lowkeyrobin]

Hi!! 🍄 again I was wondering if I could get a platonic newt x reader (from tmr) where maybe it’s while newt is still new to his limp and reader is helping him do Is jobs

(Also just to let you know if you didn’t newt from tmr is canonically gay (as stated by the author ) I just wanted to let you know so you didn’t write him with a fem reader btw I didn’t relizie how rude this sounds not trying to be rude just and fyi also sorry if you did know just a lot of fans didn’t )

Thank you once again sorry if it seemed rude

ooooo okay I like this! ; also I know, don't worry, and you didn't sound rude! i do see newt as a queer character 100 and I always have, even before learning about James dashners tweet about it, which I find sketchy bc I'm pretty sure he tweeted that after being accused of being weird to women or smthn?? idrk, doesn't matter here bc gn readers only + I wholeheartedly see newt as queer and I can rant ab it for hours ; I don't plan on writing for tmr much but pls send requests, I love writing for this fandom lol

NEWT ; personal aid

summary ; youre helping him after he gained his limp

warnings ; language, talk of/about suicide and mental health

genre ; platonic fluff, kinda angst

word count ; 1k

masterlist

Newt was recently injured in the maze. He'd been as fixed up as possible, given a brace made of tree branches and some painkillers sent from the box. At least no one was using the pills for bad, considering they're a fragile item to give to a bunch of teenagers. The only thing you'd ever thank WCKD for was those painkillers, because seeing the blonde hurt like that killed you inside.

To put it as blankly as possible, he tried to kill himself. He climbed his way up of one of the walls surrounding the glade using the ivy that grew on it, and jumped. He fell about thirty feet, considering he only climbed up the wall about a third of the way, apparently thinking thirty feet would kill him.

He'd never been the type to express happiness within the glade, but he never expressed the opposite either.

But, everyone struggles inside, especially in the Glade. Reoccurring dreams and nightmares, unanswered questions, the will to live dwindling down each and every day, they only fed into the growing depression. Everyone was struggling in the Glade, but Newt, he took the first place trophy for that.

Once he'd been able to walk around again, you took helping him into your own hands. He was clearly never running in the maze again, due to the limp that slowed him down. So, he had a few options, hopefully one he'd like.

Alby took pity in him, making him his right hand man not long after. He needed someone around for when he wasn't, Newt was a good choice for that. He was responsible, good at directions, and keeping order.

You were working as Newt's personal aid, being a medic. You were very much an empath, and your true goal was to just help anyone and everyone. You brought him food and water, washed his clothes, sewed up his ripped up clothes from that day in case he'd be strong enough to wear them again, you did everything for him.

But now he leans into you, looking up at you with a certain displeasure, clearly uninterested in working outside of the maze.

You obviously were never going to let him be a builder, that was already off the table. But he got to look around and make his decision between slicer, cook, track-hoe, med-jack like you, slopper, bagger, and map keeper.

He easily put his money down on track-hoe. Something you didn't know about him was that he found gardening therapeutic. You didn't blame him whatsoever, you never wanted to be in the shoes of the sloppers, slicers, or baggers. To be fair, it was a little too gruesome and gross for you, you'd rather be helping people around the Glade than washing everyone's clothes or killing the animals, just a personal opinion.

He needed help while working, though. He couldn't put too much weight on his one foot, and he couldn't bend down on that knee at all yet. So, while he worked, you stood off to the side, making sure he was alright while you watched the others work around the Glade, enjoying their peaceful, warm day.

While he was picking fruit and vegetables off the vines of ivory, you were by his side, either holding the basket or getting the ones he couldn't bend down to reach. You couldn't help but feel bad for his poor spine as well, considering your back started to hurt after a few hours. The gardens were pretty large, considering there was about thirty or forty boys in the Glade to feed, meaning there was always hours and hours of work or expansion to do.

"Y/n, sorry, can you help me?" The dirty blonde asks, groaning as he stands back up, holding a hand on his knee. "I can't get those tomatoes at the bottom"

You quickly nod, kneeling down to grab them for him while he moves to the next bush, plucking off all the ripe tomatoes off the vine. You retie a string around the support branches, which heald the bush together and let it grow vertically rather than horizontally and try and choke out and kill any other plants nearby.

"Fry is gonna love it when he sees these tomatoes, they're the biggest and ripest they've been in a long time" You comment, looking over at Newt.

He nods, tossing a cherry tomato in his mouth to amount to a little snack. "He sure is, we'll be eating good this week" He chuckles with a little smile. "You wanna work on the cucumbers for me? I'll get the corn" He suggests, wanting to work a bit quicker and suggest some things he could actually do without feeling a pain shoot through his leg.

You nod, taking a new basket over to the cucumber lane. You feel something pang in your heart as you see him attempt to kneel down on one foot to reach one last tomato, groaning and furrowing his brows in the process, clearly still hurting him.

"How are you feeling? Physically and mentally, nothing is off the table."

Newt shrugs, watching you examine and touch around the bruising and his ankle. Your fingertips slide over his ankle a little harshly, and he quickly inhales and furrows his brows, which you respond to by quickly pulling your hands away and apologizing.

"On a light note, it looks much better than before already. How are you doing in a mental sense?"

"I hate this bloody place, I feel dumb for not climbing higher-" He strays silent, watching you wrap a fresh bandage around his ankle. "Sorry..."

"It's okay. I'm here as your personal aid, Newt"

"That's the damn thing! I don't want you to waste your days on me. You have other important stuff to do, I don't want you to have to babysit me." The blonde expresses, watching you properly stand up.

"It's fine, really. You're still in a lot of pain, and I swear I'm not babysitting you. I'm just watching over you so it doesn't end up hurting more, alright?"

"Alright..."

[bring-forth-your-justice]

Can i request an ADA x teen!reader ( platonic ofc ) where reader lives in a very toxic house w an abusive father but all the ADA member start to worrying abt them and think something is wrong bc they always come back with injuries and they finally decide to do something after that reader just broke down and they comfort them

:( i need some comfort so yea if its ok ofc u can skip it have a nice day ♡♡♡

Sorry this took some time anon, thank you for requesting, I wouldn't dare skip it. I hope you’re doing alright, you're never alone know that. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for ya.

TW// mentions of abuse, blood, child neglect

Word count: 2k

Just angst and sad weather. Hope its good for my first BSD fic.

A soft breeze filled with springs essence flowed gently into the quaint office placed atop the red bricked building. It wasn’t much to look at, not really, other than its red exterior taking the eyes attention for a split second, there wasn’t much else to it.

Unless one was aware of its top floored residence. Quite the loud bunch many would complain. Always someone shouting and screaming about tardiness, unsettling comments about severing limbs, and often other occupants would notice a trail of emptied snack bags leading to the office. Simply a place to stay away from.

Now that was what you called home. 

The hums of the crowded streets played out in a symphony in front of you, just another side walk to cross and you were home. Home .. If the word stayed on your tongue for too long it might lose it meaning, or worse, become sour in taste. 

That top floor, was home. It had only been maybe 8 months since you began working there as an assistant. The Armed Detective Agency, the name really says all there was to it. The work wasnt too difficult, after all, you were a hardworker and you’ve been working your whole life one way or another. The president had made some adjustiments to your workload considering you were still a high school student. Of course you adamantly expressed your capabilities, but underneath it all, you were relieved. 

The breeze grazed your face and ruffled your hair, adding more knots into it after you had done so much to ensure it looked perfect, like nothing had happened. You sighed with a hint of ire plaguing not just your voice but your eyes. Perhaps holding your tongue could have granted you another hour or two of sleep. Alas, thinking of such what if’s was something you slowly learned to block out. It was pointless to fantisize of what could be anyhow.

You continued to fix your hair as you walked up the stairs, soon reaching the gates to your heaven with the oh so familiar sign positioned at the door. You hesitated briefly even as the sign urged you to come in just as the Earth welcomed rain. Thoughts began to overwhelm you. Mornings were never easy. You weren’t a sunflower waiting to greet the sun as the sun showers you with blessings and you return its gift with a smile. It was always terrifying. He was terrifying.

No matter what you did, no matter how hard you tried, you would never be enough to satisfy his will. At times, that thought alone shot bolts of desperation throughout your body, like an injured animal finding some way to stop the bleeding. What were you so desperate for? Home. It’s right in front of you, so why can’t you accept it now?

‘I didn’t get enough time to cover some of the bruises, what if they-’

“Ah you made it L/N-chan!” 

You shot up slightly at the new sound that entered your bubble. Your gaze turned towards the young boy’s voice, noticing his ragged hair. ‘Always quite slanted, not a single strand the same,’ you mused. “Atsushi you startled me aha..” Although the chuckle may have been a bit strained, you were happy to know your voice wasn’t void of that hint of delight to see him. 

“A-ah! Sorry! I guess I’ve been sneaking up on a lot of people lately. The other day it was Lucy, I made her drop her dish in the cafe- I really did apologize but she was very close to throwing me from a bridge aha-” Atsushi had a tendency of causing trouble from simple, and often innocent, actions. It was always amusing to hear about from him, they’ve never failed to crack you out of your reclusive state. 

Atsushi’s eyes wandered briefly to a mismatched coloured blotch on your arm, one you tried to conceal under your sleeves. When you took notice of his gaze, you quickly shifted that arm out of view; watching his shy and gentle eyes become disturbed with remorse. That unconcealable wrapping on your leg wasn’t any better to look at you figured, and you were sorry he had to see it. It was only for a moment though. He seemed more at ease once you smiled back at him. 

“If she did push you, I’d call Kyoka-chan.” You continued back at where the conversation left off at. At that Atsushi shaked his hands, trying to prevent the fictional scenario. “N-No! Kyoka might end up doing more than dragging me out of the water-” You both laughed at the scenario at the underlying understanding of Kyoka’s protectivness of Atsushi’s well being.

As you both walked into the office together, a scent of candies and coffee lingered in the air and the bustling office welcomed your arrival. Your eyes lingered on Atsushi as he made his way over to his desk to get started on what you could only assume to be another stack of Dazai’s unfinished paperwork. ‘I should go and get him some coffee, he might need it to finish all that.’ Looking at that stack was alone to make you wince and move towards your own desk. 

You usually make your rounds to greet everyone, but today was a difficult day and you were more tired than usual. So you figured finishing your work early would be the best way to go about things. As you began, the usual shenanigans continued to buzz around the agency. Naomi chasing Tanizaki begging him to bother himself with her rather than his work, the murmurs of the president and his secretary disgusing financial documents in his office, Ranpo-san’s loud crunches as he muched on what could’ve been his 15th chip bag of the day, and to top it off, Kunikida’s excessive yelling. You may be a hardworker but in this case, you couldn’t hold a handle to Kunikida’s work ethic. He kept everyone on task, or so he tried. 

While he was on his daily rant about Dazai’s tardiness to anyone who would listen, you felt a dreadful turmoil brewing in your head.

That buzzing in your head was a little more than unsettling. And just as your hand went to go reach your head, there it was again, that word. 

“Home.”

Why was it coming to the forefront of your mind? Why couldn’t that thought be subdued? Why were you so unlucky that the only word that haunted you was the one you cherished just as much?

He. Your father. Just a shadow of what he could’ve- no, should’ve been. A shadow who gained sentience and refuses to let you breathe. 

Your ‘home’ was hell personified. Every move you took would inevitably burn your feet. So you took no steps at all. Yet even then the fire raged on and clung to you. 

And right now, that fire was engulfing your head. 

You could faintly see Dr.Yosano in the distance, making her way to you. You couldn’t quite make out her expression when you dropped to floor and the fire took your eyesight.

~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes sleep was the only solace you could get, so you tried to cherish it whenever you could. This time, there was something different about the black void of unconsciousness. A dull pain.

It lingered and poked you in the void. Slowly voices became more clear, and feeling returned to your hands. Still, those wonderful eyes of yours refused to leave the dark. 

A part of you couldn’t deny that you liked it that way, but that poking sensation wouldn’t let you dream. 

You never had time for it.

So your eyes opened, breaking through the fire, and into the blinding lights of the ceiling panels. 

~~~~~~~~

“You’re awake-!” There a pair of wide yellowish-purple eyes looked back at you, secured with a load of concern.

It was Atsushi, worried about you as always. You wished he’d worry about himself more. 

It didn’t quite hit you that you were on Dr. Yosano’s lap or the fact there were tears in your eyes, slowly streaming down your eyes. Not until Kyouka, who sat next to Atsushi wiped them gently. 

What happened to you? 

Your body must’ve been more aware than your mind as it expressed it’s emotions more freely than how your mouth could vocalize them. Slowly you sat up and noticed exactly what had caused you to lose consciousness.

“What happened… y/n?”

Blood loss.

Dr. Yosano looked at the open wounds on your legs, carefully unwrapping the loosely tied bandages around them. She was inspecting the wound just as she was inspecting your face. 

They all were looking at you. Kunikida with a glass of water held firmly in his hand. Kyouka who stayed quietly by Atsushi, looking at your wounds. Yosano who looked slightly unnerved at the blood yet continued to press on; cleaning the wound. Atsushi who looked at you as though he knew and didn’t at the same time. But he wanted to know, oh how he wanted you to tell him. 

And suddenly, it was hard. 

You were young. You couldn’t hold it back anymore.

The tears poured out and so did the words you held in for so long. You tried to hold it all in, but everyone has their limits. Atsushi held you closely as you cried into his arms. Kyouka followed and joined the hug. 

She understood. 

You may be older than her but she knew your pain just as well. 

Yosano worked on your legs with utmost care and gentleness. She knew better than to ask to heal using her unorthodox methods. She’d rather not do that, even if it took away all the physical pain, it wouldn’t do anything for your mental anguish. So she helped in the ways she could. 

Kunikida offered you that glass of water as you talked and cried. He stepped back for a moment, eyes still intently on you as you spoke with your shaky voice and teary eyes. Until he caught the sight of someone hidden in the corner of the agency.

Dazai.

His expression was unreadable as always yet there was a sense of conflict stiring in those lax eyes of his that Kunikida rarely saw. Just as Kunikida noticed him standing there in obscurity, he left through the agency’s doors. Kunikida knew to follow him in case Dazai had finally built a sense of justice and planned to do something rash.

~~~~~~~~

When the tears stopped, you sat there with your ragged yet quiet, breathing. Atsushi never once left your side. Kyouka still sat by you, unmoving. Kenji had returned a little while ago and brought you over some tissues and began reciting stories of his farm life adventures. 

Ranpo finally appeared again. His whereabouts were always where his interests lied…. Or where the snacks were. Thus, it wouldn’t surprise you if he had been there the whole time, just hidden away. 

With a lollipop still in his mouth, he looked down at you. You couldn’t read his eyes, you barely ever saw them when you think about it. Kenji, continued to talk while your attention shifted to Ranpo. He brought his arm forward, in his hand, a single lollipop. He motioned you to take it. 

When it was in your hands, he was already gone back to whatever he was doing, yet you stared at it as though it were gold. 

Home…. A place that’s warm.. A place you feel loved..

You were home. You were safe.

And so you smiled, it would be okay.

~~~~~~~~

Weeks had passed since then, your father was arrested on accounts of child abuse and neglect and you were free from his torment. That moment when Kunikida had left that day, he must’ve gone to seek out your father you supposed. Regardless, you were thankful to not just him, but the entire agency. 

You were free, and you would be okay.

That ‘home’ meant nothing to you, so with Fukuzawa-san’s permission, you were allowed to move into the agency dorms. Again, nothing you could do would expression your gratefulness towards him.

Although old habits and traumas never die, you were healing. You had people who loved you and cared for you. People who would laugh with you as Kunikida and Dazai fought. People who would eat with you when you couldn’t sleep. And people who watched over you, even if silently.

You weren't alone, and most importantly, you were happy.

[cafeinthemoon]

It's a Fire - Chapter III

Chapter 3

Wordcount 3,9k

Title Family Portrait

Fandom Kimetsu no Yaiba / Demon Slayer

Previous chapters

1 . 2

Symbols ⭕ ➕ 🖤

Warnings:  Attempt to agression toward a minor; agressive, abusive behavior; mentions of alcoholism, grief and loss

Tagging ? (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: So, finally I'm having a break from work! I was on vacation and had plenty opportunities to rest and forget about the same, stressful and boring routine, and now I'm back to my writings at last <3 This chapter has the very scene that made me write this whole story, and I'm so proud of it! I'm really happy to share it with you! Also, the end of this chapter had me struggling a bit, mainly bc of the amount of information I should include in it or leave to the next one, but I think I found a reasonable midterm. There was also the question involving the photographs, for I couldn't remember if photography was a technology present in Demon Slayer or not (I had to do a research about photography in Japan to confirm lol)

I really hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

The omnipresent tension in each step you took in the Rengoku’s house right in your first day followed you in the next ones, whether you were alone in your room or with others, and in different places, but nothing compared to the few times you’ve met your husband: it was like he was always avoiding you, so whenever you saw him, it seemed to be by chance, as if he failed in keeping his distance. Sometimes, he wouldn’t say anything, but would acknowledge your presence by a direct look or a move of his head, to which you’d reply politely, and the few occasions when he exchanged words with you, the conversation, limited to basic inquiring about practical, daily subjects, would never go beyond one minute or two.

The closest you’ve come to discuss your situation was when one day, after receiving monosyllabic responses, he addressed your discontentment in the most direct way he could, catching you in surprise.

– Listen. I can see this is not what you planned for yourself, but let me tell that I’ve never planned to bring another woman to this house as well. Yet our families had an alliance in the past, and we must honor it.

You bit your lip at those words.

And honor the lots of money my father sent to you.

Instead of spitting your bitter thoughts, however, you responded him with a simple question.

– May I ask you something, Rengoku-sama?

– What is it? – he frowned.

– If honoring this alliance is something we both must do, why do you sound like you’re lecturing me?

It didn’t go unnoticed by you the spite he tried to restrain in the way he clenched his lips. For a moment, you thought you just made a big mistake in speaking like that, and moved one feet back.

But nothing more than a few composed words came from him in response.

– Let’s just say that your father and I had a conversation in which he pointed out that, despite your many talents, fulfilling duties like this can be a sensitive, not to say difficult, subject to you. I myself have issues towards it too, still I don’t want it to become an obstacle for us.

You measured those words. Finally, something you both agreed, you thought. But you decided to follow through a different path, directing the pressure to your father’s account.

– Rengoku-sama, I don’t know when was the last time you’ve saw y/ln-sama before the wedding arrangements, but I suppose it happened long ago, so that I need to bring some things to your attention. My father is a stern man, too attached to his traditions and too busy to take time in learning about what lies beyond them. These traits only increased since my mother passed away, and he has been spending more and more time by himself, barely talking to anyone but the servants. So, it might be just my opinion, but if we really want to make this work, seeing your new wife through such man’s eyes is not going to help you, nor her.

He spent a moment in silence, pondering your words. You had no doubts that if you were a boy and younger, he would’ve already showed an inflamed reaction, but having a young woman using all her dignity was enough to make him hold himself in place.

– I will take this as a sign of compliance.

Before you could say anything, he turned his back and headed to his room with no additional comments.

Never he asked how you were feeling in that new environment, if your room was of your like or if the servants have answered your needs, neither before or after this episode. Yes, after seeing you burning your father’s letter with no hesitation, he might have supposed that your feelings towards the situation weren’t the best, but even so you’d consider it a matter of gentleness, after all you were a couple. But gentleness didn’t seem to be a known concept by Shinjuro, and you wouldn’t take too long to see examples of that.

One of the first things that brought you uneasiness concerning your husband was the fact that, whatever the period of the day or the occasion, he was always accompanied by a bottle of sake; you’ve never seen him using a cup, however, and even in times he wasn’t drinking, a moment standing next to him was enough for one to notice the subtle smell of alcohol.

There was a morning when you just opened your room’s door and put your feet on the corridor, and a sequence of angry yells came to your ears. You stopped immediately and, glancing around, you saw a young servant kneeling in front of Shinjuro’s door and trying to speak to him, maybe about an issue concerning the house. You couldn’t understand what was being said, but apparently the man has delivered unpleasant news and asked for an answer, which infuriated his lord.

You kept listening to the unnerving communication between the two, and had to suppress a scream with your hand over your mouth when your husband screamed and threw a bottle full of liquid at the young man, who flinched, protecting his head under his hands; this measure wouldn’t work if the bottle has crashed on him, but fortunately it hit the wall behind after passing over his head. The sharp pieces of the bottle spread with a crash on the floor, now soaked with the sake, then there was silence. The young man excused himself and left before something worse took place. You bit your lip.

What could be so irritating that got him acting that way? My goodness…

You were standing in the doorway, still observing, when the sight of Shinjuro’s shadow on the wall hit by the bottle woke you up and made you go back inside your room, closing your door quickly (and quietly) as possible. You returned to the middle of the room and waited, afraid that he decided to take your room’s direction, but to your relief, none of this happened, so you sat back on your bed to catch your breath.

So, this is what I’ll have to live with under this roof. I’ll be sharing this place with a beast.

You walked around the house with a blade hidden in your sleeve and slept with your sword beside you every night after that.

***

In the following days, you’ve saw similar episodes, all of them giving you enough reasons to stay on guard in his presence. This was even more important when Senjuro was around. The boy, you noticed, was used to this behavior, though he was never able to completely disguise his discomfort towards it; it was clear that he had memories of a time when things were different, for what other reason he had for not letting his conscience go numb in front of the things he saw everyday? You considered this a fortunate trait, and reinforced to yourself the task of protecting the goodness your stepson had in him.

There was a day when you faced the need of transforming this determination in action.

It’s been a full month since your wedding day, and you created the habit of taking walks in the garden behind the house after an occasion when your husband saw you heading to the kitchen. You passed by him and, before you could carry on your way, he called you.

– Rengoku-sama?

– I’ve heard you’ve been bored these days. I’d feel like that if I was in your place too – and, pointing at what he supposed to be the garden’s direction, – From the porch of these rooms, you can find a narrow path that leads to an old garden at the south wing. Go take a walk there from time to time. It might help you with the paleness in your face.

You nodded and murmured a “Thank you” to that strange favor, but he didn’t finish yet.

– But make sure to avoid it at evenings, though. We never know what might appear at this period of the day.

You didn’t reply. You just stood there, watching as he distanced himself through the corridor. You started using the garden, but obeyed his instruction and never lingered there when the evening approached.

The garden, indeed, had the appearance of a place that hasn’t been used for a long time. The path that crossed the area, connecting all its zones, was covered in grass and weeds, its stones invisible under them in some spots; the trees were overgrown, with fallen branches suspended by the ones still connected to the trunks, and thick layers of dead leaves surrounding the trees and their roots; there were bushes full of dry leaves as well, and some were taken over by cascades of wild flowers. Everything smelled like abandonment and melancholy.

One morning, you were just walking like the previous occasions, but you looked ahead and found Senjuro there, wielding a training sword. You smiled and approached.

– I hope I’m not interrupting anything?

He startled, but smiled when he recognized you.

– Good morning, y/n. I haven’t trained regularly the last months, but now I’m trying to regain the wasted time.

– That’s good to hear! – you crossed your arms – Speaking about this, I haven’t trained since I left my father’s house. Would you mind training with me?

Senjuro opened a content smile at this.

– It’s okay for me. It’s good to have company while training.

He decided to go back to the house and find another wood sword for you.

You’ve spent the entire morning having fun with your swords clashing. In fact, Senjuro knew all the basic moves your mother taught you, so that there was little you could teach him in this sense, but you noticed he struggled a bit with changing his position quickly enough to defend himself from surprise attacks, as if his body couldn’t follow his eyes; still, he was fast with his feet, and you thought you could help him work on this. On the other hand, you struggled with physically strong strikes, and since he was already stronger than you despite his age, you found yourself using your feet more to stand in place than to explore the space around you.

You even managed to have conversations about your progresses and goals concerning the art of the sword.

– I know I have little chance to surpass my brother, at least in developing the family’s Breath Style – Senjuro told you once – But I still can serve as a security worker or follow other paths. I want to dedicate my life to an honorable career, even if it means not wielding a sword at all. Still, I really like training.

– My choices are even smaller than yours when it comes to using a sword – you replied – But I want to do honorable works too. When my mother was alive, I thought my biggest dream was to develop my own Breath Style and work by her side in the Demon Slayer Corps. But now that she’s no longer here, I’m not so sure about this. I’d prefer to think that I’ll wield my sword to protect myself and the ones I care about, whether against a demon or another being.

You didn’t know, but your words would become prophetic a few days later, when what should have been just another morning training turned into a disturbing episode involving your stepson and your husband.

The thing was that, sometimes, Shinjuro demanded his son to go to the town’s market and buy sake for him instead of going by himself. This was revealed to you by Senjuro when you asked where he was going so early in the morning one day, and other times you saw him being sent by his father in other periods of the day with no right to question. You wanted to interfere, of course, but without a good plan of action and judging by how Shinjuro dealt with the servants who displeased him, you could tell you wouldn’t be treated less harshy.

You were in the middle of the training: Senjuro was experimenting a new technique and you were instructing him, when a sudden noise behind you made you stop and turn. Both of you held your breath when you saw Shinjuro approaching with impatient steps, but unlike your stepson, you didn’t let your sword down, waiting to see what he had for you that time.

He was the first to speak, directly to his son.

– So this is where you’ve been hiding the last mornings? Are you really avoiding your tasks by playing with fake swords with your stepmother? – he inquired; and, before the boy could say anything, – I need you to go to town and buy me sake now.

Senjuro made a shy attempt to argue:

– But, father, I’ve already bought you some yesterday…

– I gave you an order! – the other cut off – You’ve never been great with swords anyway. And now aren’t you even able to obey your father?

The boy gave up replying, but still hesitated, the sword in hands. You clenched your own hand around yours, gritting your teeth behind your closed lips.

That’s not fair. This kid’s been left alone with this man for a long time. It’s my turn to stand up for him.

– He can’t leave the house at the moment, Rengoku-sama – your voice came out loud and clear in the tense silence established between the two males; you positioned yourself ahead, in a way that would protect Senjuro from his father’s reach, yet not separating the them from each other – He has a training session to finish. A servant can go in his place.

Shinjuro’s eyes, flaming at the slightest touch of the sunlight, had nothing to you but resentment for your intrusion. Who the hell you think you were to stand between him and his son when this latter needed correction?

– Someone as grown as you should know where to stop playing, y/n – his tone was rough, and you didn’t know if it was sarcasm or just rage what you sensed in it – There are many things inside the house to which you could dedicate your time to.

You swallowed.

He’s really telling me to abandon the sword and start playing his wife?

Senjuro apparently feared that something worse was about to happen, and tried to calm down the situation again.

– Father, what if I finish here and immediately go to the market…

Shinjuro turned to him.

– You’re still trying to argue?! You brat!

Ignoring your presence, the man raised his hand toward the boy, perhaps too blind by his own anger to notice that he would never reach his victim and to underestimate your choice of putting yourself between them, for his punch never completed its route: coming from underneath, your sword slapped his hand away with a harsh strike, full of your impatience and indignation; you stood in front of your husband, completely hiding his son, and pointed the wood tip at his face.

– Senjuro-san, here’s a lesson for you – you say, without taking his eyes off his father –When a reckless individual approaches a swordsman, you must make sure he understands he’s making a terrible mistake.

Maybe your strike wasn’t as strong as you intended it to be, or your husband had an abnormally high pain tolerance, for his response, after a brief shake of his beaten hand, was to grab the length of your sword and hold it so tight that you couldn’t move it away. Your eyes widened at the wood cracking around his grip.

– Senjuro-san, two lessons for you – mimicking your attitude, he spoke to his son, but his eyes were glued on you – First, always remember to hold your sword the right way. Second, never start an assault without measuring your adversary’s strength.

He let go of the sword at last, turned his back on you and left.

When all the signs of his presence disappeared, you let your sword down and turned to Senjuro. Swallowing every bit of shame or disappointment, you opened a smile. The gesture confused him, but soon you clarified it.

– Your father is right. In a battle, prudence is everything – and, wielding your sword again, – Let’s try again.

***

Days have passed.

During all this time, you haven’t seen Shinjuro except for one time or two, and only at distance. No conversation happened between you, not even through the servants. Not that you were sad or ashamed by it, of course: you did what you had to do to defend Senjuro, and you were always trying to be reasonable and polite despite the unfavorable circumstances; unlike your husband, you had nothing to regret about. The only thing you felt was an increase in the tension that already existed inside the house, which put you in an even deeper state of alert. On the other hand, no interruptions happened during your next training sessions, and Senjuro seemed more at ease whenever you were around: he has been fulfilling his tasks with more diligence, and didn’t hesitate in calling for help when necessary. You were happy to see that a slight chance of him reaching a healthy, mature state still existed despite what he has seen and might still see there.

But not even this proof of your right decision to take care of him could erase the uneasiness in your perception concerning his father: you couldn’t help wondering why, and how, he became the person you were seeing now. Your parents, each one in their own manner, assured you that he was a good, honored person, someone who dedicated his life and energy to protect people from literal demons – so what kind of thing could provoke such transformation, that is, if he was really how your parents pictured him?

This mystery has been eating your mind up, and you had no courage to ask Senjuro about this; you didn’t want to be intrusive, neither you intended to bring back unpleasant memories he might have had. At the same time, you didn’t see ways to figure it out by yourself, or at least no one that didn’t involve invading spaces that weren’t meant for you, including parts of the house which access was forbidden, such as the living room. With all the things that happened since you went to live in that house, as well as the fact that you were too concentrated on your own feelings, you hadn’t the time to feed any curiosity about these places, but this started to change since the argument at the garden. What if the answers were all inside them?

Part of you was convinced of this, yet was against an intrusion: you weren’t even expected to be there a few months ago, and now you wouldn’t be able to follow a simple rule? What kind of adult you were? Other part, however, was just waiting for an opportunity.

And it came one day, when Shinjuro decided to go after his sake by himself.

You were passing by an inner corridor from where you could see the front door when you noticed it was left open. At first, you supposed that Senjuro forgot to close it and went there to do it, but one step toward it and you saw Shinjuro walking away, passing under the portal and heading to the street that led to the town. He was dressed properly and wearing sandals, so you understood he was going to spend some time away from home and was probably see a significant amount of people; besides, he had empty hands, implying that his bottles were all empty as well. You’ve already suspected that, after the beef in the garden, he learned to buy his own drink without bothering his son, and now you were relieved to confirm it. You quietly closed the door and followed through the corridor.

Guilty clenched a hand around your heart while you approached the door and pushed it to the side, but that wouldn’t make you give up. You took a deep breath and stepped into the living room…

And found it completely tied up, as if someone cleaned it yesterday.

The floor was glowing with a new wax layer, the furniture and decoration had no signs of dust over it, and so did the paintings on the walls; there was a slight scent of perfume in the air, confirming your supposition about the cleaning. You observed the space and thought it could be a living room as any other, if it wasn’t for a detail.

The photographs.

They spread everywhere you looked, from the tables to the walls, silent guardians of the house’s memory, of a time when that family had a different, correct, happier structure, where every member had their natural, special place reserved among their loved ones, each one united with the other by the strongest bond.

A time that this family will never see again.

There you observed a younger version of your husband, whether in common, traditional clothing or in his uniform as a member of the Demon Slayer Corps, and understood that your parents were referring to this Shinjuro whenever they spoke about him, the healthy and tied up responsible head of his house, the hard worker you’d never guess that existed if it wasn’t for your parents’ word and those images. A man who was no longer there, though he continued to live.

And beside this man you found the ones he lost, people who also ceased to exist, but in a literal, painful sense.

First, a young man who resembled him in each trait, and who chose to follow his steps judging by his solo portraits in the Corps clothing. On his face, always a content, vivid expression that made you smile before you could stop yourself. You imagined how loved and cherished he might have been in that house… and how much of that very house’s light was gone when they found out he would never step into it again.

Second, sometimes with her free, delicate hands on sight, sometimes with them occupied holding a baby who became your stepson, a woman with light clothes and brown hair falling over her shoulders, maybe younger than you by the time those photos were taken, always by the side of the man who was now married to you, but the happier version of him, surely being like this because of her. A woman with a quiet, peaceful smile and a pair of ruby gems as eyes, staring at the camera with a gaze that would trespass the lens and the time to reach you, making you unravel the mystery that has been haunting your mind those days.

This was the woman he loved, then. This was the reason why he couldn’t stand you.

You sensed a hole forming inside your chest and tears starting to blur your sight, making the family disappear before you, but it wasn’t jealousy you had of them, not even of the woman. It was pure sadness.

What a beautiful woman… What a beautiful family… What has my father done?… What am I even doing here?…

You turned to your side, to the door’s direction. Leaving that room the way you found it and forget about what you saw there was the most decent thing you could do after disobeying the rule you’ve been taught. Maybe that was the reason why you should never be allowed there: it wouldn’t do you any good to see what those people were before you entered their lives, and what they’ve lost before they were given you as a poor excuse for a member. But now it was too late to regret this.

As well as it was too late to hide what you did when, standing at the doorway, you found Senjuro staring at you with worried confusion in his eyes.

Chapter 4

[skitskatdacat63]

Tysm for the tags @fernando-jpg and @rubywritten !!!!

F1 Asks:

Who is your favorite driver?

Fernando and Seb! They come as a pair. Do not seperate :)

Do you have any other favorite drivers?

Yep! But mostly retired drivers </3 I love Mark and Jense! And then for current drivers, I like Oscar, and Max a bit as well(I can't help but feel loyal to him bcs he was my first fav)

Who is your least favorite driver?

I dislike being a hater on main but....#3 and #4. Also tbh I feel neutral to dislike about most current drivers, other than my 3 guys, so!

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

I'm mostly driver motivated, I think I'd follow Fernando anywhere, and probably Oscar too. I like and support teams as well but mostly just because my guy is there! It's like, I love Aston, right? They support Fernando, they're willing to do so much for him, they love him, the vibe is really good. But if he decided to blow up Aston tomorrow, I'd be like "I'm right there with you!!"

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?

+ HOWEVER! I am an RBR devotee. Like it's not even that much about the drivers, I like Max a lot, but I think I'll always keep my eye on RBR as long as I'm into F1. I just love the history of the team and their vibe. My fav team of all time will always be RBR 2009-2013, just so special to me 🥹 Not that I was actually around for it but, the way they evolved from a team that was mostly there to bring fun to the paddock to one of the most successful teams of all time, as well as being a fucking energy drink company in a sport full of car companies, is just so cool and inspiring to me. And I love the red bull golden boys so much(Seb and Max beloveds!!!) And I also have an addiction to red bull....But I got into them first so I have a special connection, even if I don't root for them all the time. Them and their aesthetic makes me happy :) they are F1 to me :)

How long have you been into F1

Probably over a year and half by now? I wish I could say I've been into it longer but unfortunately I am an American shjfkgkg

What got you into F1?

I've mentioned this several times before but. I read some oneshot in my prev fandom that was an F1 AU. And I was just like, enthralled. The first time I read it, I had to keep looking up stuff, and I kept going back to it. And then I went on the author's blog, and saw they talked about DTS and how to get into F1. So I tried watching DTS and it was alright I guess. But there happened to be an actual race that same weekend, so I tuned in, and was so into it!! Ah man there's nothing like that first race tbh. I knew only one driver, Max, and I rooted so hard for him and he won 🥹 it was just fun back then not knowing enough to be stressed and having pure focus on one guy. I'm happy where I'm at now, but that first race was cool :,)

Do you enjoy fanfic/rpf?

Yes of course >:) I think I probably looked at the ao3 page for F1 before even watching my first race actually, it's very habitual for me when joining a fandom. I draw rpf and write my own AU lore stuff, and meta and all that. And I think I check the ao3 page at least once a day 😭 its an essential part of my fandom experience

How do you view new fans?

Hmmmm sometimes I feel like an old person, even though I haven't even been here that long. I think F1 has such a learning curve and barrier to entry compared to most fandoms. Like you have to learn so much about racing and the drivers as well until you feel like you actually have a good grasp imo. So I guess it's weird for me to see new fans bcs im like, oh god was I like that back then 😭 I'm happy to see new fans ofc!! But it's also like, good luck on your learning journey 🫡

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?

I am not a good leader, I think we'd crash and burn if I took over a team 😭 they'd be like "Catie! What should we do???" and I'd have a nervous breakdown. Go back in time to be TP for McLaren and be like, be careful who you invite to your garage at the Miami gp LMFAO

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?

Yes! My brother was into F1 before me(what a bastard for not getting me into it earlier.) Which is hilarious though because I pay for the F1TV account that he leeches off of. Like, damn who's the real F1 fan 🥱 I got my dad into it last season, and it was a very gradual process. He's a huge Fernando fan though, which is really fun, and sometimes he's much more positive abt the sport than me hahaha. He likes Fernando bcs they're both old men, and getting to see Fernando succeed last year is what pulled him into the sport. Some of my irl friends know of F1 but I don't think they watch all the races.

Are you open to talking to other fans/friends?

Of course!!!!! I am always desperate to talk to new people, feel free to hit me up always :D I will talk about anything F1, Fernando, Seb, Vettonso, etc related whenever :) I remember I got an ask a while ago last yr that's like "are you open to being friends/mutuals w strangers." It's like, um, yeah??? Its a lot of fun to be on here, I love making connections

Hmmmm ive seen a lot of people do this already so don't mind if I tag you and you've done it already aahh. But I will tag @suzuki-ecstar @sansebastinae @boisinnot @astronomical-light @thatdemonbish

[mistresseast]

I know I've been pretty quiet lately (the last two surprise fics aside) and that this year has been generally sparse on content, but I just wanted to rap with y'all for a sec.

First, I'm super grateful for all the kindness and support I've received, despite not being super active. Having nearly 1k followers here as a fic writer, especially with the way things are on this particular website rn, is wild to me. Even if only a few of you are still online, I'm really thankful.

Second, my new year’s resolution is to write more (shocking, I know), but that includes my original work as well, so I can't predict what the fic output might be. Regardless, I've got multiple things in the works rn and my interest in my current fandoms has not waned a bit. There might even be a curveball here and there, we'll see.

Third, in case you were worried about Liminality bc it hasn't been updated in well over a year, never fear! Part 3 is DONE and I'm just trying to decide on a posting schedule. Liminality is going to be a big big big project, and I'll be real with you, it's going to be a WIP for a very long time, so I understand why people might be hesitant to read it rn and that interest (and patience) will fade as fans naturally drift away from p5, and that does make me a bit nervous; however, I'm still very committed to and excited about this story, and I sincerely appreciate all the love it's gotten so far as well as everyone who sticks with it or takes a chance on it in the future. Y'all rock so hard.

I simply cannot stress enough how much it means to me that people read and enjoy my work. Finishing and posting fic still feels new to me, as I've always thought of myself as someone who burns out quickly and can't follow through on anything, so becoming a writer with a distinct style and works that people remember and recognize over the past few years has challenged this sort of low opinion I had of myself and actually affected how I approach things outside of fanfiction as well. It's a learning process that I'm still experiencing and I owe a lot of it to you guys, random people on the internet who took the time to read and like my stuff.

Seriously, thank you all so much. I hope I can continue writing and taking fictional characters way too seriously in 2024 and beyond. ❤️ Happy New Year!!

[aliteralsemicolon]

I have more than 3 questions if you are comfortable answering them. I really love your writing style so I would be really greatful if you share your secrets ❤️

What is your writing process like?

How long does one story take to write?

How do you come up with your ideas?

Do you ever run out of ideas?

What is your thought process when writing Spencer? I feel like you capture his energy so well.

Who do you imagine as Reader? I feel like I relate a lot to the Reader in we can't be friends story.

Do you ever get anxious when posting a story?

Sorry if these are too many questions. It may sound strange but I am really fond of how you write and I am an aspiring writer myself, I would appreciate your advice. I am unsure of how to describe, but it feels like you put a lot of love in your characters interacting with each other, if that makes sense? You capture the 'feeling' of love really well. Also English is not my first language I apologise for any mistakes 😅

oh so I can't even begin to describe how incredibly sweet this ask is and how it's left me speechless. truly I was taken aback because I literally never though I'd ever get asked something this touching, and I'm so flattered that you took the time to ask this. also don't worry about your english, you're basically better than I am tbh 😭 anyways essay incoming

my writing process is actually pretty simple. once I have an idea I write it down in my brainstorm doc for later. when I'm ready to write it I make a new doc for that specific fic. then I make a list writing how the story is going to unfold (what the plot will be or what's gonna happen in a scene etc). basically I write anything and everything that comes to mind (scene, dialog, quote, etc). even if it's messy bc I can always sort it out later. once I have that initial planning done I kinda just start writing according to the list. I write as much or as little as my brain feels like, then circle back when more motivation strikes. I also don't always stick 100% to the original list/script because things change and I get new ideas that work better for the story as I write. eventually it all just comes together. once it's done, it's beta read either by me or a kind friend and I just post it with my normal layout.

the amount of time it takes to write a fic depends on a couple of factors. obviously, the length of the actual fic is a big one. I never really know how long or how short a fic is going to be, I kinda just keep writing until I'm happy with how it's unfolded. often times my fics end up being way longer than intended because I'm really bad at writing short form content. also, I can lose interest in a fic pretty fast if I don't emotionally vibe with it. so there's no set answer, it really just depends on circumstance. I've learned to just stop trying to force my pace and let everything flow in its own time.

MUSIC!!! I lovvveeee music (from a listening stand point, I could not produce any part of it to save my life). anything and everything I do creatively sparks from music and how that music associates with an emotion/memory/desire. like for example: we can't be friends. I love that song. I associate the song with feelings of extreme heartbreak masked by delusion. the lyrics are touchy, but the song is upbeat. yet the beat is missing something to me. like it's hollow and what ever it's missing is just within my grasp but I can't reach it (does this even make sense?) and that's how part 1 of wcbf formed. Or malicious compliance is inspired by (TMI!!!) TiO by Zayn because I associate it with a specific memory and so that fic happened. imagining (delusion) is also just one of my strong suits.

no, I've yet to run out of ideas, luckily. I just know that when it does happen it's going to hit me in the fucking ass at my lowest.

absolutely no thought process 💙 I just write him how I want to perceive him and it seems to work out in my favour. Spencer unironically is my type to a fucking T and I know what I want in a partner. what I want magically compliments what Spencer's personality already is. then again, parts of his personality also depend on what season Spencer I'm imagining.

obviously, there are certain aspects of Reader that are parts of me. that can't be helped, as a writer you always project bits and pieces of yourself in there. but Reader is also just as much mixed as whatever type of personality works best to the story, but never in an extreme way. Reader is open to your personal interpretation, there is no one person I imagine to be Reader.

yes ALL THE FUCKING TIME because what if you guys don't fuck with todays tom foolery? what then? thanks for reading my stuff guys <3

and good luck reading this monstrosity. as always ignore all my grammatical errors because I do not proofread my rambles 🙏

also thank you again, anon for your sweet message. I hope I was able to give the answers you were looking for. best of luck for your writing journey :D

[thatstheproblemwithnapkinman]

my somewhat hot take on ric grayson

firstly, spoilers for the whole ric grayson arc. if you haven't read it and have somehow avoided learning about it through tumblr, here is your warning

also a disclaimer, i am only just getting into comics by reading nightwing. i have read nightwing (2011) aka new 52, grayson, and all the rebirth (2016) stuff. i am yet to read infinite frontier (it's on its way) so i can't talk about any of that

spoilers and shit opinions ahead

so, i read all of ric grayson aka nightwing (2016) #50-73/77 depending on how you want to fully define his arc and the supporting issues of batman #54-55, and the joker war where he gets his memories back

and tbh, it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be

don't get me wrong, its an awful nightwing story. i did hate a lot of it. it was only when jurgens took over and actually made the plot a plot did it get better, but i was expecting it to be the worst thing in the world and i actually found myself enjoying it in the same way i enjoy watching twilight, which is to say its cringy but there's just something that keeps me hooked.

so lets look at the positives and negatives

positives:

bea: i actually really like bea. i think she was actually a decent match for dick as she did good in her own, non-vigilante way, and was reliable. she wasn't trying to backstab him or trying to mind control him, and she actively fought for him to get his memories back in the end and was willing to get to know dick even thought she fell in love with ric. she also wasn't annoyed that he was/is a vigilante and didn't tell him to stop for her sake. i'm not mad dick broke up with her bc i expected as much, but she was one of the better partners.

parts of ric: under it all, ric was still dick. i was expecting an absolute piece of shit but ric was actually a good guy after jurgens took over. maybe it was the expectations i had from what others have said but fully, i think he isn't given enough credit. he wanted to leave the life he didn't remember behind but ended up going back to it and being one of the 'nightwings'. he didn't do it for an anterior motive, he didn't do it because he owed someone, he did it because it felt right. especially after the way he reacted in nightwing annual #2 when bruce old him he was nightwing, it was nice to see him going out there.

the court of owls: i loved the court of owls tie in. its a great plot that has been central to dicks new 52 story, and one that carried all the way through to the end. especially with it being cobb in the end, the way it started, it felt nice and cyclical. the history of the court of owls in terms of its creation for new 52 is interesting and the way dick was tied up in it all is one of the things that i have really enjoyed throughout the 3 titles. seeing it through 2011, grayson, and then multiple times in 2016 makes me little nerd heart sing. again, it may just be my bias to the court as a villain, but seeing dick as a talon, even for a short period of time, was pretty cool.

joker war: obviously this whole storyline could work independently with dick or ric but i do like how it was tied into his story so well. the magic crystal thing is weird but, given dick's history with the joker as robin and as jason's brother, i loved that it was the joker that brought his memories back in the end i know it was the court and the bea that did most of the work but still i also loved seeing the aftermath, seeing him struggle to go back to nightwing despite him being dick again, the fact that he was happy as ric and had to leave that behind. dick had another hero moment and i do like that

ok, with that all done, here are the negatives:

the arc length: i know this is very common but the arc went on for way too long. i know it was because the original 8 issue plan was thrown out, and jurgens then had to do damage control, but it was still too long. im lucky that could read it all start to finish in one sitting, but this was an arc that lasted 2 years! like WHAT! this really should have been 1 arc, i get it being 2 after the whole mess with who wrote it but still, cut out like most of the middle stuff, have the first arc and the final court arc and then boom, it would be so much better.

the other parts of ric: ok, so i don't like most of his character. mainly him not accepting help from his family. again i know this is a common complain, most of the negatives are, but he had so many people around him that wanted to help and he dismissed them all. they all tried to help him have a life afterwards and he basically told them to fuck off. even after he started going and vigilante-ing again, he never reached out to talk to them. i do sort of get it when he first left the hospital to go to the manor and bruce had the stupid idea to show him his death, but i still think it was a major flaw.

dan didio, scott lobdell, and eric esquivel: if you don't know these names, count yourself lucky. i did my research and found a great reddit post all about the logistical history of ric grayson that is worth reading if you're interested but the crux of these three is a whole list of verbal abuse, toxic workplace practices, and sexual harassment/assault. didio is co-publisher and has a reputation of hating nightwing, like he tried to have him killed off during infinite crisis all the way back in 2005. lobdell is the person who ached for the amnesia arc to be extended despite him only writing 8 issues in the end. esquivel was only brought on for co-writer for one issue but that issue was released only a few days after sexual abuse allegations about him came out. a lot of these men being in charge of nightwing and not being fired until 2020 comes down to their standings in DC and the connections they had at the top. all disgusting, but it meant that the first chunk of ric graysons run is marred with their names and actions. i wouldn't;t include this as a factor except it is a factor. ric grayson may have been 'created' by benjamin percy but he only wrote the first issue, the next 8 were lobdell, before jurgens wrote the rest. and if the big men upstairs wanted ric grayson, they would get ric grayson.

honestly, when i got to #49, i was tempted to not read any further. I would just skip straight to infinite frontier and pretend that ric didn't exist. but i wanted to do my due diligence to the character, so i powered through and found that there was some light in the dark. there is a lot wrong with the arc, and even with the positives i would still say i didn't like the arc, but i can see some of the positives.

also again, this reddit post is super interesting for anyone who doesn't know the history behind ric as how he was received at the time. im glad i read it but i won't be revisiting it

[here2bbtstrash]

your votes are in! part 2 survey results ✨

i asked, and y'all answered!!! 👀

as mentioned a few times before, the survey is not closed - i won't update it with new works moving forward, but i will keep an eye on it if anyone decides to run back and add votes! so please don't feel like it's too late, esp if you're new and still catching up on the porn (there is A LOT of porn. pls take your time and stay hydrated okay 😵‍💫)

but since it's been about a week, and new votes have slowed down, i thought it'd be fun to do a reveal of the top 10 results as things currently stand! sticking them below the cut - join me, won't you? 🍷

at #10, with 40 votes, we have... moving day! i was honestly surprised to see this one crack the top 10, but i should know better than to underestimate the yoongi hoes at this point. y'all love your delusional long-haired boyfie content, and who am i to deny you that??

at #9 (my lucky number 👀), with 42 votes, we have... it's sweet! shocked to see a fluff fic crack the top 10 honestly, but let's be real, the taehyung hoes are THIRSTY (anyone who follows jai already knows this 😂) - i promise i'll write more for y'all soon, and that the next one will actually feature smut!!!

at #8, with 43 votes, we have... park and ride! (and technically also its sequel, five minutes!) y'all really said give us a part three mother 😭 and jokes on you because i have an idea for a part three *and* a part four for these two. you'll never be free of them lmao!!

at #7, with 45 votes, we have... the spins! i'm happy to see this one here!! i love this couple and i've wanted to do a sequel for them for AGES, though i swear my idea for what i actually want to do changes every few months 😂 guess i gotta decide on one!!!

at #6, with 51 votes, we have... sunday! idk why i didn't expect this one to rank omg!! i don't feel like i write jin particularly well, and i especially thought that level of BDSM would be too much for some 🙈 but i have learned y'all are freaks who like crying during sex.... huh...... DULY NOTED 👀📝

halfway there, time for the big hitters! at #5, with 54 votes, we have... party on you! ahhhhh this one makes me happy to see 🥲 forever AMAZED and ECSTATIC that my most popular fic on this blog is a hoseok fic!!! i want to write a million billion more hobi things this year, and i will certainly see what i can do about circling back to these two cuties. at the very least there shall be more ass-eating in 2023!! 🎉🍑

at #4, with 58 votes, we have... deep end! joon hoes with TWO appearances on the board, we love to see it 👏 i loooove that y'all are down not only for period smut, but for some of the risks i took with using more flowery/poetic language in this one! i had so much fun trying something new, i'd love to revisit this couple and that writing style again!!

at #3, with 59 votes, we have... two in one! y'all. no. i'm shook. wig FLEW, wig in the STRATOSPHERE. say WHAT?!?!?! the first fic i ever posted on this blog, my most self-indulgent work (actually it might not be the Most lmfao but it's UP THERE) - i'm. NUMBER THREE?!?!??! okayokayokay 👀 i see y'all 👀 we're gonna have a verrrrry fun jihope month next month aren't we?!?! 😈

at #2, with 65 votes, we have... the shape of your body! oh man 🥺 i'm almost, like, emotional to see this one rank so high. this fic is so so personal and dear to me, and was a BIG leap for my writing in a lot of ways. the fact that the response has been so overwhelmingly positive, and that so many of y'all read all 24,000 words of that fic and said you want MORE. i can never put into words how much that means to me 🙇‍♀️ it's hard for me to think of a whole plot for a sequel - bc i wrote so damn much already 😂 but lemme see what i can do to at least cook up a drabble or two (if you have ideas, keep 'em in your back pocket for jihope month 👀)

and finally... at #1... with 70 votes... no one is surprised 😂 - it's drip! ahhhhh squirt god min yoongi. we meet again. i will never live this fic down lmfaoooo. and funny... doesn't he have a birthday coming up soon? i could've sworn... 👀💦💦💦

alright besties!!! i'd love to know your thoughts!!! any surprises? any you're happy to see?? anything that didn't make the list that you're about to get out the torches and pitchforks over??? i wanna hear it all, so drop me a comment or an ask and let me knoooow!! 🎤💜

(for me, it's babygirl missing out on the top 10 by two votes... but it's fine i'm fine... 😭)

also can i just say - look at y'all, getting ALL OF OT7 ON THE BOARD??? we fucking love to see it!!! equal opportunists on this blog! yaaaaaaas porn for everybody!!! 👏👏👏

[welcome-to-the-petting-zoo]

Looking back on my life now, I'm seeing how formative it was to me to follow this blog. You presented challenging texts on psychology and queer activism, and gave me an example of a polyamorous life far richer than I could allow myself to imagine. From the bottom of my heart: Thank you. I wish you well. Thank you. How are you doing? Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you

Hi Frozenbasalt!! Cat ( @neuroglitch ) here! Thank you so much for this wonderful message! It means the world to me - us - that this blog was able to provide you with something that was helpful and formative to you ❤️ I sent it in the group chat and it's much appreciated!

While none of us have been very active on this blog, nor have we been making updates to the podcast for years by now, it's not because we aren't doing well, it's just that other projects took precedence and in some ways it's hard to come back to something like this years later, when everything has changed but also everything is the same. Also there definitely have been some rough patches of life where the energy just hasn't been there. But running this blog + making the podcast is a very dear memory to me and I'm so proud and happy to hear that it was helpful to someone!

I still live with Moose and Hound+TP&Co. Moose ( @moose-mousse ) finished his education and got a job as an engineer. The firm is kinda crazy, but hey, they pay him, so that's good :p He's doing a lot better overall now that uni isn't constantly fucking him over anymore.

I finished my education as a psychologist, but ended up on disability pension for now. I'm working hard on making time for my own projects and dreams, but it's a work in progress, especially as I've been struggling a lot with negative symptoms and/or executive dysfunction for a while.

Hound and TP are now more of a collective than they used to be (lots of new and old faces) but at the same time they also have less in terms of dissociative amnesiac barriers between them, and can better be described as a collective rather than two very seperate people who never get to hang out. This past year they've gotten back into driving around the countryside on a scooter, and they have collected an infinite amount of pebbles. Also he's 2 years on T!

The wonderful Bear ( @prygelknabe ) has found work helping students with special needs get through high school. They are on a type of partial disability called flex job, where they work 18 hours but get paid full-time. They are also rediscovering their kink social life and figuring out how to live their best life!

Bat ( @the-life-of-bat ) is learning how to draw, making a comic, doing an internship at a comic book store and more. She has long since recovered fully from surgery and it's been awesome to see her grow. And it's been great for the two of us to be able to meet each other on more equal footing ❤️

Katten is still going strong at @compassionatereminders , bless her - she was broken up with by her long-term bf, but as a result, she is also having a glowup bc dude was kinda .. uninspiring. She went down in medication, has had more energy as a result, and now she's starting to get involved with the local political scene and stuff!

and Lynx is trying to get back to the job market after a lengthy battle with her mental health + immigration services trying to throw her out of the country. Definitely early stages of picking things back up, but there's a momentum now and there's a sense of depression lifting.

This all to say, that yes, ofc we are all facing challenges, and have been as well, but there's good to be found in everyone's narrative too, and we are still in each other's lives, and there's love and care to go around!

I hope you are also doing well! I'm always happy to see you in my notifications, and this message means a lot to me. Thank you for sharing!

[roshield]

PERMANENT PLOTTER / RELATIONSHIP CALL

happy almost year to this game and this blog so i figured it's time to finally put up a permanent plotter up.

liking this post means you're a-okay with me sending memes on meme day or just hopping in your inbox for something random ( and vice versa! ). you're also cool with me jumping into dms to discuss plots and all, and also just throwing out random starters your way. you're also cool with me liking starter calls and replying to your minis without feeling like i'm being bothersome!

just a warning is most relationships discussed will prob be pre-established stuff if we haven't interacted before, mainly because i'm just a lil tired of writing new meetings!

below is kind of a list of relationship types i'm interested in!! not rly anything final ( fantasy ) but just kinda a general idea of what i might vibe with.

friends: pretty classic stuff, despite clive's overall demeanor he's a pretty friendly guy. he gets along with a lot of people with different backgrounds. he's not exactly the most fun person, but he's... trying? sort of? he just kind of doesn't know how to be a normal person after being dehumanized for so long. nevertheless he does make a good friend and being friends means he's willing to put his life on the line for you!! this can also include being sparring buddies with him bc he's usually training a lot to keep his skills sharp. but really he just needs people to hang out with and maybe they can teach him how to loosen up a little

enemies: he's learned to be mostly patient buuut he's got a short-fuse and can be hot-tempered at times. he just doesn't have a lot of time for bullshit and has no tolerance for it. anyone looking to harm innocent people tend to go on his shit list pretty fast, and anyone who wants to hurt his loved ones will have the worst time with him. he's ruthless :)

not really enemies but you've annoyed him: again, short-fuse sometimes and has little tolerance for bullshit. he won't have the want to kill you but expect sarcasm and the negative sims emote.

animal lovers: clive spent most of his time with his dog or his chocobo as a kid and has a better connection with them. he's the only one who can speak to moogles in his world. he's basically a disney princess. if u like animals then he'll get along with u and if u like torgal then he'll rly get along with u! please show him ur pets too he will pet every single dog ever.

knights / other duty bound folks: clive has an odd relationship with his status as first shield, mainly because he really only took the role on to protect his brother. still, he takes pride in it and puts his duty before a lot of things. it would be interesting for him to see what people see when they look at him, but also find some kinship with people like him!

religious themes: clive was unfortunately fated to be some corrupt god's vessel and he really hates it! he's not exactly a religious person at all and has an odd history and feelings with religion because of that. he's tolerant of course but it's easy to understand why he's not exactly a faithful man, so it would be interesting for him to bounce off of characters opposite of him!

big brother / father figure: clive's got big bro instincts so he's pretty protective over younger characters. he can be slightly awkward with them because a lot of the times they're very playful and he's just, not really, but he's definitely got that cool big bro / wisely father kind of vibe! he's got years of experience and could give sound advice. really he just wants to look after people.

wife guys: anyone else miss their wives / spouse. he misses his all the time even tho she's on speed dial.

other: something else??? just let me know :3

[lowkeyrobin]

Mcyts x autistic reader

•Like autistic reader, who is very open and proud about being autistic. And like openly stems, especially when happy. Hand flaping, finger wiggling, spinning, vocal stims, full body shaking ext

• reader is really bad with volume control and often either mumbles or yells. Maybe when talking about something they're interested in, they just scream mid sentence and then carry on.

• read unknowingly mimicking there s/o while masking like copying their accents, laughs, boy language or just repeat whatever they just said.

• reader info dumps and asks allot of questions (even if that seem obvious)

• reader will randomly just stop masking and give like resting bitch face and speak with more monotone voice.

•and reader quotes things a lot like shows, movies, tiktoks, and people.

<3

oooo okay okay!! I did my best here I swear 🙏 I only did Tommy, Freddie, Quackity & Nihachu bc I genuinley had no new ideas for the others so I apologize 😭🙏 ranboo and tubbo would've been mixtures of everyone and I'm trying to make them all different and it just didn't work ; also this took way too long and maybe ill do a pt2 of this w them + foolish & charlie and whoever else ; anyways hopefully this is good, I did a little bit of research just in case so yeah djsjskkaka

MCYT ; autistic reader

includes ; tommyinnit, badlinu, quackity, & nihachu

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; i'm not autistic so i referred to req above + some research, i apologize if anything is incorrect

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he's never had a problem with you being autistic and neither have you, and you're totally fine with him making little jokes or comments because you can most of the time see therough them

he finds your stimming, especially when you're happy and excited, so fucking adorable. he literally crumbles everytime.

he also loves when you have him stim with you

you two have this little finger wiggling thing you do together, reference the "dunga dunga dunga" moment in the amsterdam vlog because I can't describe it 💀

if you're spinning to stim, he'll often joke about you getting dizzy or needing to throw up, and halfway join you because you're spinning to create a damn tornado, he can't go that fast LMAO

if somewhere is too loud and you need out, you're going dw, he couldn't care less if you just automatically yell, go nonverbal, or only begin mumbling to him. he's got you

absolutely loves when you're ranting about special interests or hyperfixations

he'll genuinley listen all day long

"and it's so interesting *cue yell* because-"

he'll lightly cringe at the change in volume but don't worry, he's fine. if you ever think differently he'll 100% reassure you that he's alright and he doesn't mind it whatsoever

you'll unknowingly pick up his accent and he'll notice immediately but not point it out, because he's learned that you'll go back to normal after he points it out. he finds it so cute tho

if you're masking in public and get comfy enough, you'll have this miserable looking bitch face and he's just like "Oh they're just like that, don't worry"

you also pick up saying bitch a lot, which he finds hilarious

doesn't understand tone tags a hundred percent but he uses the ones he knows and learns a lot of the other ones as your relationship grows

youre probably quoting total drama and mean girls 24/7 let's be honest

"you're just a homeschooled jungle freak!"

"christ, okay, y/n"

"you know I was quoting mean girls"

whatever phrase he's addicted to saying, you are too

"DARLINGGGGG GUESS WHOS BACK FROM THE PSYCH WARD"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

FREDDIE BADLINU

always smiles seeing you stim when you're happy/excited

vocal stims with him >>>

9 times out of 10 he'll repeat them after you say them to kind of make it a game, to see who can say ___ the most

you copy his accent and his frequently used phrases a lot

it makes him get all mushy inside because you're literally thinking about him 24/7

info dumping to him >>>> he's always listening bro

he doesn't mind you asking a lot of questions, even if the answer seems obvious. he understands that you don't wanna screw something up or understand something wrong

lots of quoting Garfield. I don't make the rules

"WE'RE BACHELORS, BABY" ; you both quote this often, let's be honest

"whoever moved my shit around should be dragged out onto the street and shot"

"i really hope you're quoting Garfield this time.."

your resting bitch face genuinely makes him giggle, ESPECIALLY the monotone voice

you're also constantly quoting bits from Tommy's show 💀 or replicating the little dance they learned to introduce Freddie

he apologizes a million times, he just can't take you seriously sometimes (if it's a more lighthearted situation)

he seems like the type to know most the tone tags and knows when to use them, but the ones like /nf trip him up

like wdym nf??? like the rapper?? like the guy from those gacha music videos? what's he doing here?

when you randomly yell when you're talking about a special interest/hyperfixation, he raises his eyebrows with an amused smile and nod

"and *cue yell* it's so fucked up but so good!"

"yeah?"

NIKI NIHACHU

she's picked up some stimming from you

you guys finger wiggle little whiskers, like ants or some sort of bug

spinning when you're exited >>>

she cheers you on to try and get you to go faster LMAO

bad with volume control? that's totally fine. she completely understands

giggles whenever you get loud mid-sentence and playfully throws her hands up like you scared her

"Peter... the horse is here"

"is it now?" she giggles

always quoting tik toks and vines istg

ALEX QUACKITY

"road work ahead? yeah, I sure hope it does"

"THIS IS THE BEST DAMN CHICKEN I HAVE EVER HAD"

"oooo I love that scarlet color" she smiles

"I love that scarlet color" you whisper

she loves when you info dump about your special interests/hyperfixations, especially if it's something she's not really into but will gladly hear you talk about because it's interesting

she's also very on it with tone tags just in case, whether you tell her you need them or not

"I'll kill you wtf"

"/J /J SORRY"

she knows every single tone tag, if there was a tone tag test, she'd ace it

the monotone voice and bitch face always scare her for a moment, she's gotta make sure if you're okay and just not masking or if you're actually upset about something

she always gets you gifts surrounding your special interests/current fixations

bro if you're a fanfic writer... she's ur number one reader. absolutely lovessss your writing

you'll pick up her soft tone of voice and the accent and she will do anything but point it out, she loves knowing that she's the one paying attention to it, and seeing you just catch onto something and for you to not notice

need compression for comfort? he's there, any squeezing or form of compression you need is there

need to squeeze his hand? go ahead. need a tight ass hug? he's there

always does a proud smile when he sees you stim, especially in public

generally proud that you aren't masking in public and you're comfortable being yourself

he'll even stim with you sometimes to make you not feel weird about stimming in public and shit 💔

you catch onto his mannerisms a lot, like adjusting your hair, any hats/beanies, talking with your hands, etc

like you'll catch yourself going to adjust your sunglasses and you don't have any on. you realize "wait I've been watching him do it all night, have I been doing that??"

so much info dumping and he's here for it

"wait, what then?"

"she *cue louder talk/almost yell* fucking dies! it was either die or suffer!"

"holy shit, for real?"

you guys are both quoting dumb shit let's be honest

modern family quotes.... you can't go an hour without them

always mumbling "gotta fix that step" it's a vocal stim atp

there's not even a step to fix.

"THERE IS NO DONE IN DUNPHY!!"

"YEAH BEAT HIS ASS Y/N YOURE THE BEST PVPER EVER"

y/u/n was slain by Tubbo

"oh"

"I'm the cool dad, that's my thang, I'm hip"

"y/n I can't do this today" He cackles

[sapphire-weapon]

I used to draw for other small/rare ships (apparently I'm drawn to those kind of ships lol), only one of them got huge enough after they were given some time alone in the manga which got the ship more talented and known creators and amazing fan art.

Unfortunately it also got more hate on since it was a ship that "got in the way" of other huge popular ships and going through the tag got annoying bc the haters tagged every post shitting on the previously rare pairing, plus if you reblogged or made content for it they would harass you. I just blocked everyone sending me hate lmao.

Lots of people now hate Leon/Ashley but I think this increased hatred also shows how the haters can see that it is a thing now unlike before. They see it as a real threat. You can see the insecurity in some of those antis, it's too obvious and also just sad imo. I don't get why antis take shipping too seriously like they're not even having fun anymore and that's supposed to be the point, no?

Truth is I've seen so many Leon/Ashley fans online and even irl, Reddit for example loves it and Remake Ashley is a fan favorite now. A lot of them are more casual fans that maybe don't engage that deeply with fanon (which tbh is the smart thing to do).

Finally I have to say your blog and the amazing fic writers have inspired me to go back to drawing fan art and just creating content for Ashley/Leon or EagleOne. :)

Since this is my new otp and the only thing I love shipping rn I'm also just creating a new blog for that purpose. I'm not an amazing artist I'm just an amateur but I'll try to do something soon when I'm less busy. I'll absolutely tag it as EagleOne. Hopefully I can motivate others to do the same.

anon what the fuCK i got all emotional reading this wyd 😭

i know that the antis are coming from a place of insecurity, which is why their arguments are so disingenuous (i finally found the "the devs went out of their way to make sure that leon and ashley weren't seen as romantic" tweet and hoo boy the desperation is stinky) -- and that's also why i don't engage with them. as easy and perhaps fun as it would be to just QRT it and be like "oh it makes sense now, you're all using text to speech because you don't actually know how to read" there's no point in doing that.

i said it a while ago, but i want to say it again for good measure -- i don't want us to become them. my humble goal for eagleone fandom is to be a haven for ppl. we've been the black sheep of this fandom for so long, and aeons are still accusing us of being predators or someshit (idk i'm only semi-fluent in delusional) that i feel like we all have an obligation to stay humble now that capcom's given us a fairy tale version of RE4 where our ship is the front-and-center romance and people are finally actually being drawn to the ship. no one knows how bad this fandom can get better than eagleone folk, so it's on us to not do unto others what has been done unto us.

idk maybe that's just my whole jewish "because you were slaves in egypt..." mindset coming out but

i want us to be a place where people can just come and hang out and make friends over our shared love for resident evil. i know that i have serennedy and cleon and chreon and metaltango people all following me, and i love all of them dearly and i'm happy that we've all found each other. i feel like that's what fandom should be.

that's why i don't fight with aeons out in the open. i don't want to become them. i'll swing back if they ever come here (though i hope valuable lessons were learned the last time someone tried to come in here swinging and i took them out in exactly two responses LMAO), but i don't want to go out picking fights and i don't want any of y'all to do it either.

so it makes me feel really warm and fuzzy and happy to hear that i've inspired you in some way. i know that our little corner of the fandom over here on tumblr is small, and i know that i don't exactly have the kind of welcoming personality that will give me any sort of real platform in this fandom (at least, not like the one i had back in the day when i was a fake ass bitch LMAO), but to know that i've made at least a little difference is everything for me.

[lucifers-horror-harem]

I was about to submit this on anon bc I'm shy lol but what are some of your writing tips? (if you feel comfortable sharing them ofc) you write SO WELL and I do wonder how you do it. writing is so hard for me 😭 I sit down to write and my brain will go "um no actually you're on your own enjoy <3"

🥺🥺🥺 Sorry it took me a bit to gather my thoughts and also I wanted to keep this ask a little longer cause aaaaaa you're so fucking sweet!!! And also asking me??? Hopefully my advice helps cause I totally get you about the head empty syndrome because I still have that all the time even after writing for forever now lol

So this one might sound redundant, but one of my biggest tips is to read lots of stuff! Books, fic, plays, whatever. Depending on whether you're doing writing as just a hobby or want to develop it into more, reading is the best help for writing. When I first got into smut fic writing, a lot of what I did was just read tons of fics and kind of replicate the sorts of things I'd read. Obviously I don't mean plagiarize, but you can get a lot of inspiration from other people's writing as well as just learning the craft in general, sentence structures and grammar, etc. If you have favorite authors you like, read their books and stories and analyze it like a paper in school and figure out what bits you like and how the author conveys what they're saying.

That being said, there will be tons of practice to be done. Writing is like any other hobby. One of the best things that I find helps me are prompt lists. There's tons on tumblr, of all sorts. You can write them as long or as short as you'd like, or just use their ideas as a jumping off point. I've also found sometimes when I'm stuck on writing something, I'll do headcanon posts, which are just fics in short bullet form. Writing things as bullets in general helps knock things loose, and they're great for outlining stories too. Hell if you're stuck on ideas, writing all your random fic thoughts on paper in bullet form and then later when your brain is fresh you can see them in a new light and maybe something will pop in your head that way.

I'm not sure what other general tips I can suggest besides those... on a smaller level I'd say you can use movies, shows, and music to help give you inspo as well but because they're not written it's hard to get the form down if that's what you're looking for. A lot of my inspo comes when I least expect it honestly, which I know isn't the greatest advice, but it's true at least in my case. I also project hop a lot as well because sometimes I'll get burnt out on an idea and move onto something else which is also a viable thing you can do. Otherwise I think everything I've said before pretty much covers it! I still think reading is the biggest one just because that's how I learned myself, but I say if that or any other combination of things helps then I'd say you're golden!

Writing is a really hard hobby, mainly because inspiration/motivation comes and goes so frequently for me, but I also can't imagine my life without it. Hopefully these help you! I'm always happy to help new writers 🥺💜

[first-mistake-forever-more]

ive noticed while yr output has slowed down a bit, more shamelessly "inspired" artists have cropped up on ig. im not someone who thinks styles just suddenly are made by one person, but its obvious tht this strain traces back to you. do you care about any of that or feel a pressure to 'claim' the style and not be left behind? or are you someone who just wants to do their best to focus on making what they want, and then leave others to eventually give credit if they want?

Ok finally replying to this one ive had this one on hold here for Like a yr bc my feelings on th matter change all th time but lately it's been a lot of acceptance a& Just like feeling good about it that anything i made was important enough to anyone to make something inspired on it be it blatantly or not im just happy to inspire people like that i still have silly feelings abt it sometimes bc i feel its so ridiculous that id make something so apparently inspiring and appealing for a specific pocket of people on the internet when i was just making art for myself but i guess thats always how it happens right and sometimes but not that often anymore i get angry feelings about it too. I think it's so stupid people way older than me, art students too, just curate what I make and process it into a repeatable format and get clout & sell merch off of this and get job opportunities and become more "popular" than me. I get angry. I get jealous. It's Ok. these feelings are valid and I don't try to repress them but deal w them

DMs w a friend Like oliver shout out @asphaltfchewinggum said :

I don't worry abt that falling off part anymore bc i don't feel i will ever be left behind because im always coming up w new stuff and novel ways of expressing my feelings and ppl still relate to it and get inspired by it a lot as long as i stay true iv only been going up as usual since then. I think i still have very unique things to say so I;ll just dedicate myself to saying them. I think every yr my art becomes more and more unique and apparently appealing but I can't ever say that second one for certain.it doesnt depend on me

☝️some shit from December i didnt finish bc im developing my new style now my new things to say & new truths. Exclusive Leak

an old Pinterest board somebody made inspired by me(didnt even send it to me, it was supposed to be this private curation thing ig) My output slowed down bc since 2021 my life has changed a lot and become a good bit more fulfilling by itsdelf without the need of art, I miss the energy ihad in 2020 of working all day everyday but at th same time this new ifestyle is very fun and iv felt more assured professionaly and emotionally so its all good. 2022 started college and this year im not going anymore ! i didnt Like it and realized it would stunt my growth so i stopped going. Last year I grew a lot las a person and took on new responsibilities and i think it was the beast year of my life .its moments &moments and i think 2023 im working very hard again hopefully bc i got a lot of shit in check.

me yesterday morning looking very ugly almost asleep w some food i went out & groggily bought for my girlfriend. I love her soooo much ... she gives me similar gratification making art gave me but she does it by just existing. Not having to prove anything. I'm happy. I think loving is a form of art. I'm not that good at it but i'm learning. Living is a form of art too. I guess what changed is my life stopped being all about myself

"im still here" and here i remain

[cg-saturn]

hiiii! I not really big on opening up to anyone but I tink I need some advices. a while ago me an my ex broked up and while I am glad we not together and I'm very happy wit my current partner and is way very healthier, my ex knew about me being agere and took care of me when I was feelin smol, but my current partner don't know an this is really botherin me. ik that he proly won't care, but I'm scared to tell him cuz I scared he gonna leave. I thought I could keep it to myself and just be smol when is just me, but the other night I regressed when we were watching justice league unlimited (bestest show eva) and I tink I did good at actin big but I feel like I has to tell him bc ik this is gonna happen again an I don't wanna hide who I am. I sorry for dumpin this out but I dunno who else I could ask for advice on this from. tank you for listening and for your entire blog, it been a really big help for me to know that I'm not broken for being agere and it's ok to be smol

Heya kiddo! First and foremost: you are not broken for being agere.

I feel like I get asked pretty often how to ‘come out’ as a regressor. There’s no right or wrong way, as long as the timing is right and you’re ready to have that talk. It can be nerve wracking for sure, but the good news is you can be open about your emotions once it’s out there! It can also take a lot of anxiety off the partner when you tell them- maybe they’ve regressed too, or they’ve noticed and haven’t known what to do, and now you can openly talk about it!

We luckily live in a day and age where if your partner has questions, there are tons of resources to find some answers! Agere isn’t gross or strange, it’s most commonly a coping mechanism when someone had something happen that made them grow up too quick. If you’re comfortable enough, sharing that can help explain why it happens when they inevitably ask- but if you’re not ready to talk about it, you can always say ‘I’m not ready’ and come back to it later in life.

It’s probably a good idea to come up with ways your partner can interact with you before you bring it up, because the second most common question someone has is ‘how do I act when you’re in that space?’

Different people have different levels of comfort when it comes to being ‘hands on’. Do not start off expecting them to be perfect! Caretakers spend a lot of time basically playing guessing games- especially when they’re new to it. If you’re able to stay ‘big’ enough to still care for yourself at first, you can teach your partner things that make you happy. Bring up your favorite books, snacks that make you small, shows, games, things that you like to be called (like kiddo or little one), anything that’s easy to remember. As time goes on, they’ll learn your ‘tells’ and get better at coming up with things on their own, but it does sometimes take a bit for even the most excited new caretakers to actually get a footing.

I also want to offer that my dm and askbox are both always open for first time cgs looking for tips! I’ve been on both sides of agere, and I know how challenging it can be to try and navigate the craziness, but I also know how worth it everything can be when my star is sleeping soundly with their paci and stuffies. All relationships take a little work, but if you both spend the time learning about each other, it will be worth it.

I’m wishing you the best of luck little one, I hope this goes well for you! I’m extremely proud of you for being honest with yourself and knowing that this is who you are! There’s no shame, no reason to hide it! Go enjoy life, stop and smell the flowers, and be who you are. You deserve to be happy!