#this took so long. mostly just willing myself to work on it. but im happy with it

[valentinesapprentice]

Profic Party Day Four - A rarepair you like

Y'all know I had to go with KyoKoda

I tried some new shading techniques, and I think I like it ! Anyways, shy boy x also shy but not as shy girl, hell yeah

+ bonus Mina in the bg. I like to think she loves love

[anawrites3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I got tagged by @zeroducks-2, thanks love 💕💕 Sorry it took me so long to answer -3-

How many works do you have on AO3? It's 44 (+1 unrevealed)! And 19 of that are DC fics

What’s your total A03 word count? 163,947 I need to post more on ao3, huh

What fandoms do you write for? Mostly DC rn, tho I have a few fics for COD

What are your top five fics by kudos? on this account all of those are bakudeku because I've been very deep in the fandom until last year lmao so I'm going to cheat a little :3 and list the ones from DC fandom to self-promote myself a little 😂

1. taking a break (alone, please) at 345! I'm really happy with that and quite surprised because it's the very first proper sladick fic I wrote! Dick gets hurt during a mission so Slade takes him somewhere to take care of the wound and maybe have a little fun while he's at that. The only problem is that Dick's comm gets turned on at some point.

2. unexpectedly beneficial at 289. This is surprise since it's a New Year fic and those, in my experience, never get that much kudso lmao It's also my second fic! Dick's stuck at Brucie's New Year Eve's party. Slade comes over to keep him company

3. bunny-shaped trouble at 230 kudos, the idea came from Claudia who sent me a prompt 💕 Dick gets turned into a bunny and takes the opportunity to annoy the hell out of Slade

4. persistence at 219! This was my entry for sladerobin week and for some reason I was very anxious so I'm glad its so high in the ranks Dick goes on an undercover mission, where he has to seduce the target. Slade isn't very happy about that.

5. conflict resolution at 217 kudos! It's the first part of the series and well, let's be honest, compared to the rest (that is posted here on tumblr now, im working on it to post it properly on ao3) it isn't very exciting but I still love it and I'm happy it's so high as well! King Slade Wilson offers the way to stop the war between Gotham and Defiance. He will stop the attacks if prince Richard becomes his royal consort.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I always do!! Sometimes it just takes me longer (like rn oops) but I always make sure to respond to comments and show people how much I appreciate them taking the moment to share their thoughts with me 💕💕

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? It's definitely keeping what's mine because Dick is having awful time in this one, to the point that I tagged it as hurt/no comfort because well, Dick is hurt and doesnt get any comfort. I mean, he kind of does? But it doesnt actually comfort him so yeah 😂

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I write a lot of fluff so this is actually a very difficult question lmao but I would say it's (not) willing to share which is a short domestic fluff. And Dick has a cat so that's very happy for me haha

Do you get hate on your fic? I do not, actually! And I'm a little surprised by it because sladick and batkids ships gets hated on a lot

Do you write smut? More and more lately

Do you write crossovers? Not really right now, no

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Thankfully no or at least I dont know about it lol

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic? Not yet but I think it would be really fun!

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? I have one of those for every fandom I'm in lmao and right now it's sladick

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Gosh, don't say that lmao! Buut *looks quickly through the list of my wips* probably the one I named "the middle of the night" which is like,,, undercover mision identity porn masquerade ball sladick story that Im very exciting about but for some reason I just keep moving it down on my list of wips sooo... yeah. Maybe cause masquerade balls need a lot of dance descriptions and I suck at that lmao

What’s your writing strengths? Writing dialogue! I like it a lot and I've been told I'm good at it :3

What’s your writing weaknesses? Actually sitting down to start writing 😂 and more complicated descriptions like fights or dances and stuff like that, I'm still working on it

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I like it a lot actually but not if there's too much of it - just a few sentences are enough or just a few words thrown here and there, and there needs to be translation somewhere in the fic, in the notes or something because people should know what the characters are saying but yeah, I like how it directly shows that someone is speaking in another language instead of writing "he cursed in russian" or other stuff like that

First fandom you wrote for? *hides my face into my hands* Strawberry Shortcake probably... from when I was still a babey...

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? sun and sunflower, a little brudick story about Bruce being smitten and a coward

Tagging time! @roipecheur @wingdingery @blackbeanbao @enak-s and anyone who'd like to do it as well!

[astrangerlately]

Sorry if this is rude you don't have to answer but what do you use to make your typography/lyric art? I really love them!

not rude at all and im so so sorry it took me such a long time to answer!! <3

i mostly use photos from stock websites. my faves are pexels, unsplash, and pixabay. there are lots more out there but i can usually find what i'm looking for on those three

for paintings i use rijksmuseum. you can download really high quality images of their public domain artworks. you can even crop them on the site and just download the detail you want. the ui is kind of annoying but i cannot bring myself to complain about it because its such a cool resource

other good public domain art stuff: the art institute of chicago and the met and europeana

for the vintage style illustrations that i edit...i study 18th/19th/early 20th c history so i spend my life reading weird old vintage shit. a lot of time i just see a pretty illustration when researching and im like...mine now, lol.

google books is my go-to when i want to browse for weird books

archive.org is good too

i love to edit photos to look like they're on really old paper... there's usually a few blank pages at the start of these public domain books so i just take screenshots of them and overlay them onto photos

flickr has comically terrible ui but there is so. much. amazing stuff on there. you do have to do quite a lot of digging though but you can find some incredible stuff.

(quick warning though: obviously with so much historical material there is a lot of very unpleasant content. turn on safe search if you don’t want to see nasty victorian racism, or photos of a penis with late-stage syphilis (and yes i am speaking from experience))

tumblr for whatever reason isn’t letting me put in links here so i’ll just copy and paste them like a caveman:

the public domain review (https://www.flickr.com/photos/publicdomainreview/)

british library (https://www.flickr.com/photos/britishlibrary/)

internet archive book images (this hyperlink seemed to work for some reason)

us national archives (https://www.flickr.com/photos/usnationalarchives/)

deviantart also has some diamonds in the rough (and by ‘rough’ i mean page after page of weird furry sonic fetish inflation art that for some reason isnt marked nsfw... but i digress). most of the time it's not worth the effort but you can find cool stuff there if you're willing to dig for it

a couple of cool stock accounts:

https://www.deviantart.com/sdwhaven/gallery/33554170/textures

https://www.deviantart.com/serendipitystock/gallery/all

https://www.deviantart.com/jojo-ojoj

https://www.deviantart.com/chimiyaa

https://www.deviantart.com/redheadstock

always check the details of the accounts though. there are some accounts that just post public domain stuff, some people post original content and are happy for it to be used however, some people allow use but have rules.

also after typing all of this i just realised you might have meant like...which software i use. in which case the answer is photoshop, lmao

and sorry again for taking so long to answer this! (and thank you for your kind words! <3)

[catrasredemption-moved]

I'm really struggling and hurting with what's going on in the fandom right now as im losing the only comfort i had in quarantine. could you please write something happy post-s5 catradora based on noelle's statement that once Adora realises she's in love with Catra she'd be SO into the reslationship?

((I get you, Nonners <3 *hugs* Again, white af, so I’m going to limit my comments, but - it isn’t all downhill from here. Try not to give up)) (((Disclaimer it’s almost 4am and my sleeping meds are kicking in, so I’m sorry if this isn’t completely coherent)))

Adora had never half-assed anything in her life.

And she’d be damned if she was going to start now, at a time when being fully on her game was more important than ever.

“I just want to do something for her!”

Bow practically had hearts in his eyes. Glimmer was a little less impressed. “I’m pretty sure if you just stayed in bed and napped together all day, she’d be happy.”

“I know, I know.” Adora sighed. “But that’s not - I want to do something good. Like, really show her that I love her.”

“Take a vacation.”

“Glimmer!”

“What? I’m serious,” Glimmer insisted. “If you just like... took an entire week off to do nothing but spend time with her, she’d probably be speechless. Which I would pay to see, by the way.”

Adora frowned, thinking it over. It was true that Catra would probably be floored by Adora taking a week off, no need for She-Ra or anything, just for her.

“I don’t know. Do you think it’s enough? What should we do? What do people do on vacation?”

“You could just travel?” Bow suggested. “You know, get as far from Bright Moon as you can then call Glimmer for a ride back or something when you’re done.”

It was... actually a good idea, Adora thought. They’d spent their whole lives in the Fright Zone wondering what was beyond the Whispering Woods. They could actually see things now. They could see a world full of magic!

The happy thoughts died almost as quickly as they had started. “I... I dunno. I mean, it sounds great, but that would take more than a week, and-”

“Take a month,” Glimmer encouraged. “Take six months, honestly. You guys saved the universe. If anyone’s earned time off, it’s you.”

“That’s a lot of time.”

“And you’ve earned it,” Bow assured her. “Maybe not six months - I mean, you should take six months but I know that would drive you nuts. But take a month. Go places. Spend time together. I think it’d be good for you guys.”

Adora chewed on her thumbnail for a moment before slowly nodding and smiling. “Yeah. Okay.”

This whole thing had started with Catra not feeling like a priority in Adora’s life, after all. A month together would be the perfect way to show Adora she was invested and she cared. Perfect. * * * * * * * * * * * * Catra didn’t get back to Bright Moon that night. “Your cat passed out on my couch,” Mermista informed Adora flatly, turning the screen so Adora could see Catra curled up in a tight ball, sleeping.

“Is she... okay?”

“She’s dumb. Sea Hawk found her almost sick with heat stroke and had to drag her away from the house she was working on.”

Adora’s heart jumped to her throat. “She’s... She’s really trying hard to help with Salineas.”

“And I appreciate it,” Mermista admitted in a rare moment of genuine honesty. “But I’ll appreciate it less if she kills herself in the process. If she’s going to die, I should at least get the first shot.”

“Glimmer can come get her, if you want.”

“Nah, she already feels like hell. She can sleep it off on the couch.”

Adora scrubbed her eyes, smiling weakly. “Thanks, Mermista. Sorry, I guess I should’ve warned you, she gets really intense when she actually puts effort into things.”

“She’s not someone I would’ve pegged for a workaholic. Want me to wake her up to say... I dunno, good night or whatever you guys say to each other?”

“Nah, let her sleep.” Adora wanted Catra home, wanted to talk to her about a vacation, but she was sleeping, and that was more important than anything. She’d been exhausting herself for nearly a month working on Salineas. And while it was earning her some begrudging tolerant will with Mermista (who firmly believed actions were better than any apology Catra could ever say), Adora was worried. A vacation would really do her some good. * * * * * * * * * * * * Glimmer and Adora went to Salineas the next morning to get Catra. They thought it was reasonable to assume she was still sleeping off the heat stroke at the palace.

“Nope, she took off before I woke up,” Mermista said flatly when they found her. “Sea Hawk tried to find her, but he’s not exactly subtle about it, so she probably had plenty of time to hide.”

“Great.” Adora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’ll... track her down.”

“Tell her if she’s going to keel over to get out of my kingdom. She can die on Bright Moon’s turf.”

“Tell her not to die,” Glimmer added.

“Yes, and yes.”

Mermista pointed Adora in the direction of where they’d found Catra yesterday. She approached a half built house, quietly climbing up the ladder at the side and finding Catra working on the roofing.

“Seriously?” she asked, resting her arms on the edge of the roof. Catra looked up, surprised.

“What?”

She looked exhausted, her face flushed red. Adora sighed. “Are you coming home any time soon?”

“Yeah, yeah.” She went back to work, distracted. “Sorry, I dunno what happened yesterday.”

“You made yourself sick working in the sun all day.”

“Sea Hawk overreacted.” Catra waved Adora off. “He’s just scared you’d kill him if you found he let me overwork myself.”

“Sooooo you’re admitting it?”

“No, that’s just his logic.”

Adora shook her head. “Come on, take the day off and come home. I wanna talk to you about something.”

“I really need to finish this.”

There was a weird moment where Adora thought she understood how Catra had felt for years. Catra had been working nonstop on Salineas for a month, and Adora was starting to feel a little ignored.

But she also understood Catra’s side. She took a deep breath, hauling herself up onto the roof and crawling over to Catra, gently putting her hand on Catra’s and stopping the hammer. “Hey. I get it, okay? But you’re not responsible for fixing all of Salineas.”

“Actually, I kind of am,” Catra replied bitterly. She was far too warm for it to be comfortable.

“I’m pretty sure Hordak could stand to take a little more responsibility than he has.” Adora couldn’t help but be a bit bitter about that. He had mostly stayed in Dryl, working with Entrapta on tech that would help with the rebuilding process. And that was great and all, but it wasn’t much compared to Catra being out here every day working herself half to death.

Catra let out a long sigh, finally relaxing her hand. “I just... need to do this, Adora. Okay?”

“I get that, but you don’t need to do it at the expense of your own health. And yes, I know I’m a hypocrite. But I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Adora squeezed her hand. “And that’s okay. Have you eaten anything?”

“No.” The honesty was nice.

“Did you skip eating because you felt sick?” Catra nodded. “Okay. So... you can leave with me, or Mermista can wash you out to sea so you don’t die in her kingdom.”

Catra looked around, and sighed, finally nodding. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Getting her back to solid ground was a bit dicey, but she held herself up and managed to walk back to the palace without much help.

“She lives,” Mermista said dryly when they arrived back at the palace. Glimmer smiled, although she couldn’t hide her worry.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine.” Catra smothered a yawn, scrubbing her eyes.

“Picture of health all right,” Mermista deadpanned. “Look, you built like, an entire neighborhood on your own. Come back when you’re not burning up.”

Glimmer rested a hand on Catra’s shoulder, wincing when she felt the heat radiating off of her. Adora took a moment to whisper, “Thank you for taking care of her,” to Mermista. The princess shrugged.

“Yeah, you know. Whatever.”

Catra was not happy with the teleport back to Bright Moon. Glimmer put them close enough to the bed so she could drop straight onto it, groaning. Good luck, the queen mouthed before disappearing. Adora went to the bathroom, wet a washcloth with cold water, and returned to the bed, resting the cloth on the back of Catra’s neck. She shivered.

“Cold.”

“Yes, because you’re burning hot.” Adora settled in next to her. “So, I had an idea, and I already know you’re going to argue with it, but hear me out.” Catra hummed in affirmation. “I was thinking we should take some time off. You and me. I was thinking traveling, but now I’m thinking maybe go visit Frosta and spend a week in the snow.”

“Oh hell no,” Catra muttered. “I am not going anywhere with snow. That’s where I draw the line.”

“But you’re agreeing to the vacation?”

“I dunno.” Catra raised her head. “When? Can it wait until Salineas is-”

“No.” Adora gently clasped Catra’s face in her hands. “I know this is hard for you, but you can’t hurt yourself trying to fix things. That won’t accomplish anything, and nobody wants to see you hurting, not even Mermista.”

Catra looked ready to argue, but something in her expression flickered. “You’re willing to take time off just to do nothing?”

“Not nothing. To spend time with you. We can hold each other accountable. You keep me strapped down, and I’ll lie on top of you to make sure you don’t run off to Salineas.”

Tears slowly filled Catra’s eyes, and Adora panicked for a moment before Catra spoke. “You’d... really take time off to spend time with me?”

“Of course.” Adora kissed her gently. “I love you, Catra. And I know we’ve been through a lot and done a lot that doesn’t really... support that, and I want to prove it now. And I want to take care of you.”

The moment of silence between them was comfortable. The same silence they could have spent hours in at one point in their lives. “I love you too,” Catra finally murmured. “Maybe taking some off to spend together wouldn’t be so bad. If only to see you try and relax.”

“Ha. Ha.” Adora grabbed the washcloth and began gently wiping Catra’s face. “Glimmer gave us a month, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be happy if we want to take more. Let’s start with getting you better, then we can figure out what we want to do from there. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Catra snuggled into Adora’s chest, taking a deep breath. “That sounds good.”

It had worked. Adora couldn’t believe it. “So uh... I’m doing this relationship thing pretty good, huh?”

Catra snorted, reaching up to push her face away. “Get over yourself.”

[murderousginger]

Wrong Thing To The Right Girl

Esme's sister (Y/N) meets the newest Shelby man on a night out with Finn and Isaiah. Their first encounter leaves much to be desired.

Warnings: Sass. Alcohol. Drugs. They're criminals guys, they do bad things.

Word count: 3,055

"Ezzy, I'm going crazy here!" You yelled as you stomped through the house to meet your sister in the kitchen. Pouting where she could see your sad face always worked better when you begged your big sister for something.

"All I've been doing is taking care of little ones. ONE NIGHT IS ALL I ASK."

"Mom sent you to me to behave," Esme whined as she worked on making dinner for the children. "If you go wild here, I'll never hear the end of it. She'll send you to a convent and write me off from the family."

"She would never, not with all these rascals with Shelby blues running around," you scoffed as you cupped your sister's swollen belly. "It's one night. One night isn't going wild. It's barely a respite."

"John--" 

"Is off with Tommy and Arthur doing God knows what," you finished for her as she shrugged your hand off.

"The bars don't serve ladies unaccompanied--"

"Which is why I'll go join Finn and Isaiah," you sang, "we've become friendly, we have. They'll let me for the night. With Blinders surrounding me I'll be plenty protected so you shouldn't worry a thing."

Esme sighed loudly, as she stirred the pot of stew in front of her. She eyed you carefully. 

"You have an answer for everything, don't you?" 

You smiled cheekily and wrapped your arm around your sister. 

"One night," you repeated. "I'll help put the children to bed, pour you a nice glass of milk and a sweet and I'll be back before anyone's the wiser."

"One night," Esme warned with a sigh before her features melted into a wry smile and she nudged your shoulder. "Show them how much fun a Lee girl can be. You have been good since you've joined us. One night should be fine."

You smiled back and nodded before erupting into a squeal and let go of Esme to dance around the kitchen. 

"Thank you!" You kissed her cheek and spun yourself to your room to pick out a dress. 

You helped her feed the children, bathe them and get everyone tucked in like you promised before you dressed into your favorite dress and boots. You patted the smallest bit of lipstick onto your lips and packed it into your bag before you brought a glass of milk and Esme's favorite treat to her. You kissed her head and patted her stomach. 

"I'll be off now, sister dear," you trilled and turned to the door. 

"Be careful!" She yelled after you. "And come home if you can't find the boys!"

"Yes mum!" You laughed as you closed the door behind you and rushed up the street to The Garrison before she could change her mind. 

You whistled happily to yourself as you walked through the night. What Esme didn't know was that you had already snuck out a few times to let loose some steam. Living in a house that never moved felt so restrictive and you craved freedom. When your sister brought you around the blinders for meetings and general gatherings, you had quickly become friends with the younger boys. Your age was somewhere between Finn's and Isaiah's and you easily fit between them and their antics at events. It was like having a bit of home and it allowed you to relax. 

You had even found yourself in dark corners sharing kisses with Isaiah a few times. Nothing was expected between you; the kisses were in a haze of the night between raucous laughter and jokes. It never went farther and you held no ill will to the girls that he took home or caught his eye. Sometimes whiskey demanded a blissful kiss or warm touch and you were happy to have a friend that understood.

You and Finn were purely friends, goading each other and joking until the early morning light. Finn was quickly a close friend. You saw how his brothers underestimated him and it made you notice how smart and kind-hearted he was. His eyes weren't hard like his brothers were; he had grown up in the rubble of the war without ever having to be made a killer.

Between them both you always had to sneak back through your window, praying not to wake anyone up.

You saw The Garrison ahead and Isaiah smoking by it's doors, talking to someone you couldn't place. Possibly another Blinder that you had only seen in passing. 

"Oy, 'saiah!" You yelled and raised your hand in greeting as you picked up the pace to reach them before they wandered inside. 

"(Y/N)," Isaiah exhaled his smoke through his smile as he raised his arm to pull you into a side hug. "Got Esme to let you out this time? You're too dressed up for window hoppin'."

You giggled and instantly sank into his side, hugging him tightly before you caught a good look of his friend. The boy was around your age, possibly older than Isaiah but not by much. His hair was perfectly styled and his suit was pressed. His gray-blue eyes were stuck on you as he exhaled smoke only to have it escape his mouth and go back in through his nose. It reminded you of a dragon, and the amused look he was giving you did not help that thought. 

"I got my dear sister to bend for one night," you finally said, turning to look up at Isaiah once again and fighting a shiver as you felt the boy's eyes still watching you. "As long as my gallant gentlemen friends can watch me."

Isaiah laughed as you tugged on his tie to loosen it and slipped it into his pocket. You reached and stole his cigarette, inhaling the smoke before turning back to his friend and eyeing him back. You stepped forward and took up the space between them. He was still quiet as you exhaled the smoke and your face broke into a Cheshire smile.

"Who's your quiet friend, 'Zay?" You asked as you dramatically looked him up and down. "He's awful stiff for a Blinder boy."

"He's a new boss man, (Y/N)," Isaiah laughed as he pulled you back to his side to form a circle again. "(Y/N) is Esme's sister. (Y/N), this is Michael."

"Polly's son," Michael said, explaining his place as he held out his hand. "Tommy put me to work."

You handed Isaiah back his cigarette and took Michael's hand. 

"Pleasure."

"Same to you," he said. 

"Right," Isaiah said, throwing his cigarette down and stepping on it. "Michael's new blood and freshly let off Polly's leash, so Finn and I are doing our best to break 'im in. His little church town didn't teach him the ways of bullets and whiskey."

Michael rolled his eyes and finished his cigarette. 

"New can be fun," you said, looking over Michael again. "Let's get me a drink and see if we can find your Michael a girl."

"And me," Isaiah laughed as he guided you into the bar. "Work your magic to get me a girl tonight, too."

You took your coat off and hung your purse and coat over the small back of the barstool next to Finn.

"And shoot myself in the foot for the chance for a kiss in the dark, I think not," you jokingly scoffed as you placed your hands on the busy bar and slid into the seat. "Since you asked so nicely, I suppose I can."

"That's my girl," Isaiah laughed and sat beside you, nudging your shoulder with his. 

You said your hellos to Finn and ordered a whiskey, playing with the ice cubes by twirling them with the mixing straws as you all carried conversations between each other. 

Over the next stretch of time, you watched the younger girls at the bar and which of the boys you were with they watched. You played into it, carrying on and touching a shoulder here or laughing at something as the girls watched and turned green before you would lean into one of the boy's ears. 

"The girl in the blue dress, Finny," you said into his ear when you leaned in to him. "She likes you. Just lean back and rebuff me. Make your eyes at her and go talk to her. She's willing."

You leaned back and laughed as Finn's eyes lit up and you pressed your hand to his chest. The corner of his lip curled as he politely grabbed your hand and placed it on your lap. You pouted as he leaned in just a tad. 

"Thanks, (Y/N), you're the best."

Finn winked at you as he stood up and straightened his jacket, playing slow as he looked around the bar and found the girl you told him about. He smiled and was off. You faked a scoff and watched the girl grin as she looked from you to him in victory. You turned away to face the bar, rolled your eyes and nudged Isaiah beside you. 

"One down," you laughed as you waved Harry over for another drink. 

"Tell me (Y/N)," Isaiah teased, "is it gypsy magic that makes you so good at this?"

"It's just a woman's touch," you said. "If you can behave around me, you're safe enough to talk to. And women sometimes like a bit of competition. Makes them feel wanted."

You sipped the drink that appeared before you, already delightfully blurry. You looked over your shoulder to check on Finn. He was completely enthralled by the girl, laughing at a table and having a good old time.

"Are you sporting tonight?" You said as you turned back to him. "I've seen you eye a few. The one on the end has been glaring through me the entire night."

"Liza," Isaiah said as he scratched the back of his head, "yeah. We've a bit of history. I could see if she'd like a review of it."

Isaiah went to stand, but you stopped him as he rose. 

"Wait," you said, putting your glass on the counter and facing him. "Before you go, can I have some Tokyo?"

Isaiah smiled down on you as he took off his coat and placed it on the chair. 

"I have my last bit to the bird that turned me down earlier," he said as he trained his eyes on the form behind you. "Ask Michael, he might have some left."

"Right," you said and smoothed his shirt. "Off you go then. Can you walk me home tonight, or will you be otherwise occupied?"

"I can probably walk you home," he said, looking at you for a moment with a big smile. "Now wish me luck."

"Luck," you said as he strutted past you. 

You looked across the empty seat to Michael, who had mostly talked to Isaiah because of the volume of the bar. You smiled and slid into the empty seat next to him. 

"Looks like it's just us for a beat," you said. 

"Looks like," he said as he swirled his glass in his hand. 

"Is there a girl you've fancied tonight?" You asked, looking around. "Maybe I could help."

"Not tonight," he said, jaw clenched as he looked at the bar. 

"Alright then," you said as you watched him curiously. "'Zay said you might have some Tokyo, can I have some?"

"Yeah," he said, finishing his drink and setting it down on the bar. "Let's go to the back, private like."

You shrugged and nodded, standing up with him to head to the back storage area. You nodded to Isaiah as you passed him, but otherwise no one paid any mind to a Peaky boy taking a girl off. When you reached the room with the shelves of alcohol, Michael lit a cigarette and took a breath before he rummaged through his pockets and handed you the small bottle. 

You took it and smiled as you turned to a shelf slightly shorter than you and made a line. Before you could look up, Michael pushed a bill to your face, and you smiled a thanks as you rolled it up. You offered the first snort to him, but he chuckled an exhale of smoke and shook his head. 

"You don't do it?" You asked, amused. 

"Only carry it for pretty girls or selling," he said back. 

"Well, then," you said and plugged your nose to snort the snow. The rush hit you before you could open your eyes. The jolt of energy surged through you and cut through the blur of the alcohol. You would be in a lovely state for the rest of the night and ready for the world. 

"Thank you, Michael," you sighed and held the bill out for him to take. He waved you off.

"Keep it," he said with a smirk. "There are other ways to pay me back."

"Pay you back?" You asked as your brows knitted together. "I don't want your money, I just wanted a bit of fun in the snow."

"And I said you could keep the money and pay me back," Michael said evenly. 

"I have no intention of paying you back at all," you scoffed. "You're lucky I offered to return your bill. Now I'm going back to the bar."

You moved to walk past him and out the door, but he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you back. 

"I'm a Shelby," he said as he placed you in front of him. "And I say we aren't done here."

Your stomach dropped to your feet and you chilled at his tone. The snow and the booze kicked in and your anger grew hot just as fast. Too fast for your brain to catch up to.

"You're not used to being told no, are you?" You sneered. "You're used to being a pretty little boy from a nice village that gets his way. I'd wager you thought that coming here and picking up a gun made you a man. You thought that Tommy giving you a place meant you were a bad man that could get anything he wants. You aren't a man. You're just a little boy that joined into a world you will never understand. Now let me pass."

"Fucking gypsy bitch," he spit as his chest puffed as he looked down at you. "You don't know nothin'."

"I know your mother makes you gypsy blood, too," you spat back. "Your grandmother was a Boswell. And that makes you a hater of your own blood. You aren't better than those of us that weren't raised in your precious boring town. You aren't even smarter, with your schooling. Indeed, you're lacking knowledge that you're too proud to ever gain."

Michael's eyes were aflame and his jaw clenched as you threw his money at his face and shoved past him. You ran back into the safety of the public bar. You slowed your pace as you broke into the room and stomped back to your seat. Finn was back at his chair, taking a drink as you slid by him. 

"Michael's a dick," you huffed, frantically waving Harry for another drink. When it appeared you drank it in one gulp.

"Don't I know it," Finn muttered under his breath. "The girl was fun, but I'm about done tonight. You?"

You stiffened as Michael appeared standing beside Finn, face stone.

"I think I am, too," you said, glaring at Michael. "Finn, walk me back? I think Zay's still off with Liza." 

Finn rolled his eyes and nodded. You stood up, shooting a last glare at Michael before gathering your coat from the seat.

"I'll go along," Michael said to Finn. "Bar's getting a bit boring anyway." 

Your stomach knotted but you didn't fight it. With Finn between you, you didn't think Michael would do anything else. He seemed to ignore you entirely, talking with Finn as you all made your way through the night. You quietly  listened to them talk about sports and girls and snow, realization dawning on you that you had left your purse at the bar. You cursed yourself in your head. Luckily there wasn't much money to steal, but your prized lipstick would surely be missed. Too late now. 

"Ey, (Y/N)," Finn said and cut you out of your thoughts. "It's not five minutes from John's. Is this close enough or do you need walked to the door?" 

"Such gentlemen," you drawled as you rolled your eyes. "I'll be fine here, thank you. Goodnight boys!"

You took a few steps forward and turned around to bow theatrically at them before spinning and walking toward John's house. You took a dozen or more steps before you heard a voice call out behind you. 

"(Y/N)," Michael yelled and you froze. 

You heard him walk toward you and you spun in your boots to see him halfway to you, Finn waiting awkwardly behind. 

"What, Michael?" You snipped, crossing your arms as he stopped in front of you. 

"Thought you might want your bag," he said as he pulled it from under his coat. 

You gasped, taking it from him slowly. 

"Thank you," you said, mouth agape. He sighed and chewed at his cheek. 

"I'm sorry," he said, looking away from you. "I was wrong about you."

"Damn right you were," you growled. 

"I said I was wrong," he said as he squinted at you. 

"And I agreed," you snipped. "Thank you for my purse, though. I suppose you aren't a complete asshole."

His jaw flexed as he looked to his feet. 

"I guess that's fair," he said in a huff. "Have a good night, (Y/N)."

"You as well," you answered stiffly. 

Michael awkwardly took a step back from you and slowly turned to return to Finn. You hugged your purse and slowly walked toward John's door, opening it and going inside before you allowed yourself to peek back at the boys. Michael had lit a smoke on his return to Finn, who was waiting with his hands in his pockets and his hat low. A trail of smoke rose above them as Finn raised his hand in a last goodbye and they both turned to walk away. You shut the door and locked it, letting a heavy sigh escape your lungs as you let all of your tension go. 

Wrong, indeed.

Masterlist

[vegetasleftsock]

Ooo matchups? I've never done these before but im intrigued lol could i get uhh platonic DB matchup? I'm 5'2, long-ish blue-black hair and bangs, blind af and wear glasses, also pale af 😂 uhh I'm super introverted and shy but not as much once I get comfortable. Even when I'm comfortable I still prefer to listen rather than talk. I'm really awkward so I never know what to say but I be listening. I also overthink a lot and as a result I get hurt by the most pointless things 😂 let's see uhh I tend to doubt myself a lot, so I really value someone who encourages me to take on that challenge or try that new thing, or that reassures me I did fine when I'm being really hard on myself. I also value someone who can pick up on my "pls help" cues and care enough to check in since I tend to bottle things up out of fear of being a burden. My coping mechanisms hobbies include rewatching the same shows 18373827 times, drawing, and playing the violin. I also love learning things from others, so I like people that don't mind explaining things to me. Uhh I'm not sure what else to add I hope that's enough 😂 thank u friend 💚

Super, my dearest friend. I know what you wanted from this matchup... let me go ahead and disappoint you. Today, I am going to be the mom friend and I am going to give you not what you want, but what I know you deserve.

End thesis.

I’d pair you with...

Gohan!!! Because he’s a freaking sweetheart. Let me explain.

Why

- Gohan loves your personality- and you’re introverted moments are just another piece to his favorite puzzle. Anytime you’re willing talk, he’s all ears. This man will genuinely listen to anything you have to say and he’ll remember it- so your breath will never go to waste.

- BUT he also loves how good of a listener you are. He likes to ponder and go on little tangents about whatever he’s stuck on at the moment. Whether it be philosophy, rules of psychology, politics, science, or just what you’ll be having for dinner that night- he tends to ramble. Gohan knows that he doesn’t have to hold himself back in front of you, because you really can get lost in conversation with him... even if it’s mostly one sided 😂

- Also, I know you didn’t add this because I’m sure it would be too braggadocios for you... but you’re really smart. Aaaaand.... he’s really smart. And big brained biddies need to keep each other company, you know? I think y’all would be really excellent at mentally activating and challenging each other. Nothing is lost upon either of you when it comes to greater thinking and so I think he would be a wonderful partner for you in this aspect.

- The thoughtfulness with this one? A+, absolutely fucking top tier. If you’re ever going through it, but you don’t have the energy to blatantly say, “hi, today I’m dying :)”- he will catch on. You don’t want to talk about it? Fine with him. He’s listened to you when you’ve talked about what makes you comfortable and what makes you happy; so he’s already well prepared to do whatever will brighten your day.

Gohan for you

- Gohan loves that you have goals and ambitions and that sometimes you keep your head down and buckle in to ensure you achieve whatever you’re chasing. He will be your #1 cheerleader. When exams and homework assignments pile up and you feel like you’ve been working from sun rise to sun set, he’ll check in on you ever-so-often. He’ll make breakfast, lunch, and dinner (healthy, but something you still enjoy) so you can focus and perform at your max. You should also expect other sweet gestures like a warm blanket pulled straight from the dryer, water or your favorite drink to sip on, and study breaks filled with naps, snacks, tv-shows, quick walks, and whatever makes you feel refreshed.

- Gohan can definitely be adventurous in the right settings. His training with Piccolo taught him to not be afraid of new things, and that sometimes it’s just better to jump into the water than to give yourself time to slowly adjust. He likes to take that same philosophy with you and he feels like he can really relate to you on that basic level. So anytime you’re interested in trying something new, but you’re too afraid- don’t worry! Gohan will be there for you every step. You might find that your new favorite pass time is trying new things just because of how special this sweetheart makes every experience.

- Any time you feel like you’ve failed yourself, others, or that you have the weight of the world on your shoulders- Gohan is there to take some of that pressure away. He will never let you feel like you’re less than- because he knows that you’re a caring, kind, and genuine person who deserves everything good that comes your way! Whenever you’re sad he likes to give you words of affirmation that make you feel special, needed, wanted, and safe.

- there is not a SINGLE hobby that you have that this man does not get ALL KINDS OF NERDY GIDDY FOR. Obsessing over a show together, sharing bits of writing with each other, and definitely DEFINITELY hearing you play the violin makes Gohan feel like he’s won the jackpot.

A song I feel matches this relationship:

Fly me to the moon - Frank Sinatra

This relationship is just classic, A-tier, reminds me of reading a good book and sitting in a quiet library. Exploration, soft notes, gentle touches, and absolute sweetness.

First date:

Gohan would definitely get take out from a nice restaurant and bring it back to his place so you could enjoy it together in a private & calm setting. After, he shows you he’s set up a pillow fort so you can relax and watch whatever movie/show you’re interested in!

This is no ordinary pillow fort though- this man took HOURS putting this shit together.

Stringlights, sweets and desserts, extra blankets, card games- you name it- he’s thought of it.

....

@supersaiyantist I hope you loved this!!! Thanks for submitting, friend :) 💖

[pbandjesse]

Today was not what I had planned. I woke up a 8 to a text from the dentist reminding me about my appointment. That I didnt realize was today. I thought it was thursday. So I am very glad I got up! I had about an hour until I needed to leave though. I had plenty of time to get washed and dressed. James wold soon leave for work and I would get all cute. 

I didnt have high hopes for the dentist. But it ended up being fine. I parked in the parking garage. Forgot the ticket in the car, would go back for it later. And I didnt get lost finding the office this time. 

I did not see the main dentist, I saw an associate. But I loved her. She was so sweet. And while she understood why I wanted the tooth removed, she thinks its salvageable and that insurance should cover it. I got all the xrays and now that I have this insurance I was like. Okay. Im willing to get this fixed, with the caveat that if they get in there and the took is broken (which is what I think), they will pull it. So I felt like things were good. The woman at the desk even called the other office to make me an appointment so I wouldnt have to call and it was so kind. 

I left there in a good mood. I went back to the car to grab that parking ticket, and then went to the fancy grocery store. I got some stuff thats hard to get at the regular stores. And just had a nice time looking around. 

I headed home after that. High spirits. But almost as soon as I got home I get a call from the dentist that they called the insurance and they wont cover anything. At all. Because I hadnt had the insurance for a year?? I have never heard of this before. Like the whole reason I got this plan was because it covered so much of the root canal procedure. And so I started crying. And they the woman tells me that the first of the three appointments I have would cost $1500. So I was just like. I guess. Cancel it. She apologized but I was just like. I did the thing I was supposed to do. I got the insurance. I pay it on time. But I just felt so stupid.

So I was a bit hysterical and I called the insurance with the plan to yell and then cancel the insurance. But once I got through the robot voices I was mostly just very very sad. I knew the person on the phone wasnt at fault. So thats what I said. I was just like. Hey, Im going to start sobbing in a second, I am not mad at you, I know you just work there, but I dont know what to do. I did the thing I was supposed to do but I cant get the help I need now. And she was so kind and right away put in a request to override the year waiting period.  So I have to wait until wednesday to find out if that is approved. But it was a little bit of hope I guess? I called back the dentist and explained what happened and she said to call her back when I get word and that the dentist will see what can be done on their end too. 

Its wild though. Why is that a thing?? I would have gotten the cheaper plan if I knew I wouldnt be able to use any of the coverage for a year?? Like I get its probably my fault but I have never heard of anything like that before. It wasnt even like I hadnt met a minimum for the year, they were just like oh you literally do not have any coverage on procedures until next January. Because you havent had the insurance before. If I knew that I wouldnt have waited for the open market. I would have just. Gotten a plan before that. Its such a shit show. 

It took a while for me to calm down. I was just so drained and upset. 

But I didnt want to lose the whole day. 

James would go out for a long bike ride soon after that. They waited until I was alright before they left. I needed to be alone for a bit though. 

So I cleaned a little. I hung a tapestry. I cleaned the fish tank. I thought about what I will pack for camp. I had snacks. I played video games. I finished making the bed. I changed all the sheets and the took off the velvet duvet cover. I also refolded and sorted out the winter coats and sweaters I shoved under the bed. They are all folded and nice now. 

James would get home before 230. I was laying in bed but once they were washed and dressed again we headed out into the world. 

We walked to the art store. And I got all the new paint I wanted. I got the highlighter colors and a few secondaries I thought would be hard to mix. I am very happy with the colors I got. I may go back to buy some medium. But I am very pleased. 

And it was so nice going out with James. The weather was warm. And It was just a lovely day to be out. We stopped to take pictures with the knock out roses. And I was just really happy. 

Not to long after we got home James got to work making us dinner. And I laid down for a bit. But I never actually slept. Thats alright. I did a little work stuff but tomorrow I will really get into that. 

After dinner I got to work on the painted stool project. I was going to do sprinkles but I decided to do Matiesse inspired shapes instead. I am pretty happy with them!! The highligher/neon colors are a little thin, so I will have to do more layers to cover the sharpie I drew first. I wouldnt have used the sharpies if I knew it would do that. Live and learn. But so far so good. One or two more layers of paint and then I will outline and add texture details using paint markers. But I am very pleased with the project. Next will be the little heart shelf. 

I have been hanging out in bed with sweetP since then. I am very tired. But I am going to go rinse off and put on soft clothes. Tomorrow I am going to do work and art and try to make myself work on store stuff. Because I have been so bad about that. But I have the pictures so I will get it done. 

I hope you all sleep well. Take care of eachother. Goodnight!

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 36

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: idk what to write here anyway no one reads it lol! but yea im posting this for Isa because she’s probably the only one who still cares about this story lmao ILYSM!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i didnt add because i didnt want to spoil this. theyll be added in the next chapter and probably at the END of the chapter lol

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 36 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 7th, 2018

I fell asleep on the bed as soon as we got done with diner. I finally had a day off and an other one the next day but I had been working non-stop for 6 days until late at night (or early in the morning) and I was exhausted.  I shivered and woke up slowly, feelings my lips curl at Niall's touch. His fingertips were brushing up and down my arm, making goosebumps appeared on my skin, and I let out a low whimper.

"I missed you. How long have I been sleeping?" I asked in a mumble, forcing myself to open my eyes.

"You've been asleep for two hours." he pointed out before chuckling.

"I don't care." I let out with a childish voice. "I missed you anyway."

I squirmed a bit and ended up with my head on his lap. My lips curled into a smile when I felt his fingers slip in my hair and I breathed in, inhaling his scent and his expensive perfume.

I knew I was already fucked. I knew it was over for me and that if Niall and I broke up again at some point, it would kill me. At this point, being official or not didn't change anything anymore. I remembered back then, before I dated him, I always tried to suppress my feelings for him, I always managed to put a wall in front of them to hide them from everyone and especially myself. Right after One Direction's last tour, the walls collapsed and crashed, exposing my feelings to practically everyone, and at that time, it shocked me how much I loved him, how deep, real and intense my feelings were. They grew even more when we dated and remained stronger than ever for so long after he broke up with me. I was there with him now, my walls completely wrecked, and it made me realize that I had put my walls back in front of my feelings when I started dating Dylan but that wall was not that strong and Niall easily tore it apart without even knowing it. I was tired. I was exhausted to keep that wall there. Perhaps I had even helped him taking each brick off, one by one. Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was a team work.

"I was thinking we could go out tonight."

I groaned and wiggled a bit to press my face on his stomach, making him chuckle. "I'm tired."

"I know, but Louis says he misses you." he pointed out, making me groan again. "Come on, I'll buy you a few drinks."

I remained silent for a few seconds, wondering if I should go or not. I was pretty sure it would be fun but at the same time, spending time in bed, cuddling with the man I loved seemed even better. I moved a bit to lay on my back and look up at him. He was the only person in the world who looked good from this angle.

"Are you gonna stay with me the whole time?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes."

"You'll hold my hand under the table?" I added, staring at him and making him smile.

"I will."

"You're gonna dance with me whenever I ask you to?"

"Baby, we're not going in a club." he pointed out. It made my eyebrows raise up more and my lips part. "Fine, yes, I'll dance with you whenever you ask me."

My facial expression turned into a happy and satisfied one and I quickly got up, reaching for his closet.

"We have a deal, then!" I just said, trying to find something decent to wear before deciding on a pair of jeans and a band shirt (not a One Direction one, this time). It took me about 20 minutes to put make up on and when I joined Niall in the living room, I tilted my head as he got up.

"You look so good." I pointed out, moving closing and putting both my hands on his chest, my palms pressed on his blue dress shirt. "You're so classy and here i am, wearing jeans and a shirt."

He laughed a bit, moving his chin up slightly. "You want me to get changed?"

"No, I want you to get naked."

He laughed. "That's not happening. Louis is waiting and you know damn well he can show up just to annoy us." he explained with a smirk as I chuckled. "Tube?"

"Cab?" I argued, raising my nose up.

I didn't want our pictures taken, I didn't want to meet people, or get caught by paps. All I wanted was a nice evening with my friends and mostly, with Niall. He moved his arms around my waist, intertwining his fingers on my back and nodded slowly before sighing.

"Anything you want."

I smiled at him and moved closer to kiss his lips. He tasted good and I felt his hands move up on my back before smiling against his lips. If he changed his mind and asked me to stay home, I definitely wouldn't be against it. Unfortunately, we ended up at the bar quite quickly and after a while, I just stared at my glass, lost in my thoughts, before Louis leaned closer to me.

"'Dans la lune'?" I smiled and looked up, meeting his blue eyes. His lips curled too and he raised his eyebrows. "I've been practicing. How's my accent?"

"Almost as bad as Niall's." I just said, laughing when I saw him frown as his lips parted in shock.

"Hey, wait!" I heard, turning to Niall who was frowning too, clearly insulted. "I'm very good at that!"

"Honestly, no you're not." I admitted, raising my nose up and shrugging. "I'm sorry but you both suck at it."

"Well, you know what I'm good at?" Louis asked, getting up. "Paying beer for everyone."

He left and I turned to Niall, frowning a bit when he was looking away. I followed his eyes and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he was looking at a girl, sitting afar at a table. I took the time to look at her and bit my bottom lip before sighing. I couldn't be jealous, not now, and I couldn't pretend the girl was not beautiful. Still, it did hurt me and at the same time, it was ridiculous to expect him to never find an other girl pretty in his whole life.

"What are you looking at?" I asked low, getting his attention back.

His eyes roamed on my face and he blinked a few times. "Oh, no one."

"I didn't ask 'who', I asked 'what'..." I pointed out, licking my lips. "You were looking at that girl? She's pretty."

It was a lie. She was more than that, but it was too hard to admit.

"Yea, not bad." he replied, making me roll my eyes.

"Look, I know you think she's sexy, don't lie to me."

He sighed and reached for my hand under the table, making the left corner of my lips raise up. It was hard to be mad, or feel sad, when Niall was looking at me like that and I just tilted my head, staring right back at him. It didn't matter if he found other girls pretty, all that mattered was that he loved me, and that he wouldn't go back to his old habits.

"Okay, she's hot. But you're sexier." he bent closer to kiss me and I held my breath before he moved back slowly, remembering we weren't supposed to tell anyone that we were sort of seeing each other. He looked away, but not in the direction of the girl, and I just licked my lips as I watched him grab his beer and take a sip of it.

"Have you ever thought about having a threesome?"

He choked slightly and swallowed hard before wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. The sight was endearing and I chuckled.

"What?"

"I don't know, I was just saying." I proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making his eyes open slightly more.

"Would you be willing?"

I let my eyes move on his face and started questioning myself. I had no idea if I was and somehow, I felt like our relationship, whatever it was, was still very fragile at that point. Not our love, of course, that was strong, but the trust I had for him was still shaky and it scared me.

"I had a threesome before and it ruined the relationship I had with one of the girls. I think it's the main reason why me and her broke up."

He nodded and pressed his lips together. "Yea me too. Although I was pretty hammered I can definitely say it didn't help our couple, or whatever it was that we had." he paused and looked down before looking up in my eyes. "But we could make rules."

"Rules? Like what?"

He shrugged. "You tell me."

I stared at him again and I suddenly wished I never proposed that. I glanced at the girl on the other side of the room and felt something stir inside me. Yes, I was more confident about my body, but at the same time, I knew the bodies Niall was normally attracted to had nothing in common with mine.

"You.. can't kiss her. Or get your dick inside her." I pointed out, licking my lips nervously. "I don't want her to touch you, or-"

"Okay!" he laughed, shaking his head. "It'll be faster if you tell me what I'm allowed to do instead."

I groaned low and grimaced but I felt a bit better when he squeezed my hand again. I felt ridiculous for that feeling and I was wondering if it was my self-confidence that was getting low again, or simply the fact that it would hurt me to see the man I love making out naked with an other girl. I had seen Niall with other girls often in my life, and it has hurt me enough in the past, didn't it?

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to." he shrugged with a fond smile. "It's just a discussion for now. I mean, you know it's you I love, right?"

"Put yourself in my shoes, Niall." I tried to explain. "I mean we could have a threesome with a man."

"I'm not.. so sure." he replied with a frown.

"See?" I pointed out a bit louder, leaning against my chair and making him roll his eyes, amused.

"It's different, I'm not into men, but you're into women."

"But that's not what it's about." I explained a bit lower, tilting my head. "It's about us, and the feelings we have for each other. I've shared you so often before. I even lost you a few times. What if it happens again this time?" I sighed and shook my head. "I'll think about it."

"Hey, hey." he whispered, moving closer to me and leaning his elbows on his knees. "Don't stress over something so futile okay? I'd be totally fine watching you have sex with an other girl while I just sit close on a chair and jerk off f like a fuckin’ loser."

This time, I laughed and I just had time to see his lips curl into a smile before I tapped on the front of his cap, making it move down over his eyes. He placed it back and I noticed his eyes were shining. I tilted my head and my lips parted but just as I was about to say something, he kept talking.

"And yes, it would piss me off to see you get fucked by an other man." His gaze dropped to my shirt and moved up to my eyes again. "I'd probably throw him out."

I laughed again, feeling the sudden urge to kiss him. He smelled so good, he look beautiful and he was so close... All I could think about was grab his shirt with both hands and pull him close to feel his lips crash against mine. With all the strength in me, I got up and nibbled on my bottom lip for a few seconds.

"I'll be right back."

Quickly, I walked to the lady's room and leaned both hands against the counter, letting my head fall down slightly and closing my eyes. It was so tough to stay away from him all the time and it was starting to drive me insane. Of course, I didn't want our relationship out in the open but if our friends knew, it would make things a lot easier. I was so sure it was the right thing to do a few weeks ago but now, my certainty was faltering. It was harder and harder as the days went by and even if it was just to protect me at first, I knew it was useless now. I loved Niall. I always would. And being official or not wouldn't stop me from hurting if he decided to leave again.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone in my pocket, moved my shirt up and bougfht my phone up too, to snap a picture. I quickly sent it to him before unclasping my bra and moving it up, taking an other picture. I sent it too just as I was getting a message from him.

'Fuck petal show me more'

My lips curled at his words and It only took a few seconds to get a second one.

'I want to suck on your tits so bad pet'

I swallowed hard and felt my whole body throb as I typed an answer. 'Do it now, then.'

I leaned against the counter and waited but when the door opened, I felt my heart jump in my chest, hoping it was not someone else. I sighed when I saw it was him and his eyes roamed on me for a few seconds. He turned around and locked the door, making me chuckle and I held myself back on the counter with my two hands.

"I hope we don't get caught."

"I don't care." he replied, making me smile more.

He took a few steps closer and even If I should have expected it, I held my breath when he bent down quickly. His lips wrapped around one of my nipples and I felt my legs tense as a short whimper got out of my throat. I felt his tongue flick on it before he sucked on it gently and when he moved to my other one, I glanced down only to see how hard the first one was. I remained motionless, my eyes half-closed, as his mouth, lips and tongue focused on my tits and after a while, my lips parted, my eyes closed completely and I let my head fall back on my shoulders slightly.

He stopped and I felt his hands on my hips, helping me up on the counter and when he moved between my legs, I felt my heart jump in my chest. His lips found mine and his hands reached my breasts as he kissed me deeply. He had moved his cap around and I just reached it to take it off, leaving it on the wet counter and slipping my fingers in his hair.

"Why didn't you wear a skirt, lover, it would have been easier to fuck you."

The sweet nickname made me smile against his mouth. I loved how impatient he was and I could feel his hard cock press on one of my thighs. He rubbed himself gently against me and I moaned again in his mouth before pulling away and licking my lips. I pushed on his chest gently and got off the counter before taking a step back as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans quickly. He stared at me, his gaze moving from my hands to my face and back to my hands as I pushed my pants and panties down to my knees and raised my eyebrows.

"I can bend down for you."

He walked up to me, turned me around and pushed me against the wall. I held my breath as his hand moved between my thighs to reach my pussy and he groaned, grabbing my waist and pulling it closer to him before spanking me one time but hard. I pressed my palms on the wall and closed my eyes when I felt the tip of his cock press on my walls and let out a curse word when it slipped inside me. My fingers curled and my short nails scratched against the wall as he started fucking me hard and fast. His hands found my breasts again and he grabbed them hard as a balance to fuck me deeper.

I was happy both of us hadn't drank too much and when he leaned against my back, I felt his lips brushing near my shoulder as he grunted.

"No one turns me on like you." he let out, making me hold my breath again. "No one makes me cum like you."

He pulled me away from the wall and pushed down on my back, holding me there with a hand on one of my shoulders as he spanked me again a few times. I could feel myself throb around his cock as he remained still and when his other hand reached for my other shoulder. I bent down more, making sure I was far enough from the wall, knowing he was about to go harder.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum."

He started fucking me so hard I had to put my own hand over my mouth to make sure I wouldn't moan too loud and I felt myself reach an orgasm as he fucked me deep. I shook against him for a few seconds and he groaned, waiting until I relaxed a bit to pull out and jerk off quickly. It took only a few seconds before I heard him groan louder, the tip of his cock rubbing against my ass, and my eyes fluttered close when I felt him push himself back inside me, fucking me for half a minute before his thrusts faltered.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry." he apologized as I moved up. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his cock brush against my ass. "I came all over you. And then inside you."

The thought made me shiver and he ran his hands on my breasts before pulling on my shirt to cover them. He took a step back and I saw him tuck his dick back in his pants as I turned around. I moved my panties and pants up and then worked on my bra when we heard someone push on the door. I held my breath and my eyes got bigger but Niall just chuckled.

"Liv? It's El!"

Without hesitation, Niall unlocked the door and opened it, leaving Eleanor speechless. I had to admit it was worth it and I laughed a bit.

"Uhm when you two are... well, done, I guess? There's shots waiting for you..." she grimaced and shook her head. "Okay. Bye. Gross."

I laughed and walked up to Niall, getting on my tiptoe to kiss him. "Now she knows." I whispered.

"It's okay, I'm sure she won't tell." Niall tried to reassure me as I chuckled.

"Yea, like she'll keep that from Louis!"

We both laughed and shook our heads and I finally went back to grab his cap on the counter before we walked back to the table. It was useless to pretend we weren't together or anything. At that point, I knew we were fucked and that everyone probably knew about us.

"Finally!" Louis said when he saw us before pushing shots closer to us. He waited until everyone had one and he moved it up over his head to make a toast. "To Neil and Olivia, who literally can't keep their pants on when they're around each other!"

Everyone laughed and I kicked him under the table. It only resulted in him laughing and smirking at me but we all drank and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. Fuck it, why should I care if my friends knew?

                                                     ---

"I want to write a song about that." Niall said as we walked in his house.

I let my purse fall on the floor and walked slowly to the bathroom to take off my make up. "Write a song about what?"

He walked up to me and leaned against the door frame, just looking at me as I washed my face and it reminded me of that time I was too sick to do it myself and he had done it for me. It made something stir in my stomach and I sent him a fond smile in the mirror.

"A song about sex with you." he explained, pushing his hands in his pockets as I chuckled.

"Make it more general, maybe? And don't use my name!"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Do you know me at all?"

I grabbed my phone to check the time and it's only when I saw the date that I frowned. Today was april 7th (now 8th), and I was sure I had something planned on the 6th. When I remembered, I felt my heart jump in my throat and held myself against the counter.

"Liv, hey, are you okay?"

Niall was close to me, I could feel the heath of his body against mine and his hand on my back and I swallowed hard before moving my body back up and turning to him, blinking a few times as he frowned. Could I really tell him that? Would I have the guts to say it out loud?

"Niall, I'm late."

He frowned for a second and then he understood. His lips parted and an expression appeared on his face. It looked like fear.

"It's... it's stress, right? You're on birth control?" he seemed panicked and I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly extremely guilty.

"Yea but those pills aren't a hundred percent safe." I pointed out, shaking my head before my traits softened. "No it's probably just stress, I've been working a lot and not sleeping much..."

He nodded and searched for his phone in his pocket before dialing a number quickly. I frowned and walked closer to him, wanting to ask him who he was calling but I didn't dare. He turned to me and showed me his forefinger, telling me to give him a minute and he left. I leaned against the counter again, head down between my shoulders, and felt myself tear up. I had been through so many things recently and I was exhausted. Adding a pregnancy to my life was not a good thing at the moment and I was also scared it would break something between Niall and I, and I was not ready to lose him.

He came back and wrapped his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder. I looked at his reflection in the mirror and he sent me a loving smile that I sent back.

"I called the drug store. They're sending us a few tests. We'll be fixed tonight."

I felt relieved but also nervous and when the doorbell rang, we argued on who was going to answer. He won and I waited for him to come back, sitting on the couch and shaking my leg. He sat next to me and took a box out, handling it to me. I just stared at it for a few seconds until he pushed the side of his upper body gently against mine.

"Petal, it's okay. If you're pregnant, we'll adjust."

"It's gonna ruin what we have." I let out in a whisper.

In half a second, he was kneeling in front of me, searching for my eyes and when our gazes met, he raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing will ruin what we have anymore. Nothing. I won't let anything bring us apart. I want to be with you, Olivia. Okay, kids weren't planned before a few years but if you're pregnant, like I said, we'll make the best of it." he paused and sighed, noticing I was still nervous and he licked his lips. "Do you love me?"

"More than anything in the world. More than anyone I ever loved, or will ever love. You know it." I admitted, feeling my voice break slightly.

"I love you too. I'm in love with you." he stopped talking and handed me the box. "You can do this."

I was shaking when I got out of the bathroom and quickly put the stick in his hands. I was near tears, and I had been for about an hour, but I was not really sure why. His words should have made me feel better and they did, but somehow, I still felt extremely vulnerable and fragile and I was not sure why.

"Please, look at it for me, I can't do this."

I turned around, my back now facing him, and let a few tears fall before wiping them quickly. It felt like an other hour had passed and I finally turned around and sighed.

"So? Niall? Is it positive?"

[lilikags]

Hey congrats for the 200!! I love your writing!! You are amazing!!. Can i get a genshin matchup? Please 🥺. I'm a female, 22yo, bi. 5.2. I enjoy spending my time indoors but dont pass the opportunity to be outside. I prefer confort over fashion but than doesn't mean I'll not make an effort to look good. My favorite food is the spaghetti and the dish i enjoy the least is soup. Normally when I'm with a male I'm the one who leads and when im with a female is the other way around(not sexually speaking xD). My hobbies are drawing, what netflix in my bed, play videogames and reading. I value friendship ans im loyal to friends and a partner. I prefer honesty more than people protecting my feelings. Im also curios and willing to learn and listen to others and be open minded. I also enjoy helping people so i would totally help my partner with their job and give then the support they will need. I usually dont get mad at someone or something but if it happens i could be a bit violent. Specially when it vomes to protect my loved ones. I hope that works. Thank you!! Stay safe!!

Matchups and requests for Genshin Impact, Haikyuu, and Epic Seven are always open!

Lili, Teyvat’s Goddess of Love, matches you with...

Jean is always busy, but if she has time, she’ll definitely take you out to a scenic place nearby. She definitely needs the break, and she’d be delighted to take you along with her.

This woman struggles with cooking a little, and she hopes to get better at it. She’s definitely trying to learn how to make spaghetti (with the help of Albedo, who had somehow miraculously created a perfect balance between great tasting and incredibly healthy pasta) whenever she has some free time. 

She is completely honest with you. She isn’t afraid to tell you anything, because she knows that you value honesty much more than anything. She also finds it hard to lie, as she is fully aware that the consequences are greater than the benefits, if any. 

When she decided to date you, she made a long-term commitment. It took a while for her to decide, but she decided it was going to be worth it. 

Sometimes, you bring her food at lunchtime while she’s working; she’ll give you a smile and a soft “thanks” before going back to her work and eating it at the same time. She really appreciates it, and it helps her deal with the massive amount of stress her job entails. 

Jean sometimes needs to rant, and you’re always there to listen to her. She has an incredibly taxing job, and she deals with the biggest issues in Mondstat. It really helps her manage her stress and even with finding a solution to the seemingly infinite problems she needs to solve. 

Kaeya made you soup on your birthday, to prank you. “Hey, happy birthday, I made you a soup myself!” After he left, Jean ate it for you. It was actually a good soup ngl. 

After a long day of work, you would relax at home. Mostly just talking, but sometimes you’d do some drawing or reading or play a few games to pass the time and relax. It was really the best part of the day for Jean.

Jean is the most loyal person you could ever get. She has never batted an eye for anyone else and won’t. She will always be there for you and your best supporter, and no one will be as important to her than you. 

A/N: I’m so sorry it took this long! I have a bunch of req >_< Anyways, I hope you liked this! <3 and tysm, I’m super happy I hit 200!

[loyally-unfaithful]

—; but “sentimental boy” is my nom de plume

word count: 1916

pairing: connor/gn!reader

genre: slight fluff; hurt no comfort

summary: it has been a year after the android revolution. humans and android alike settled down, an olive branch was offered as a sign of reconciliation. with newfound peace came along newfound love, and many open roads to choose from. this was no different for the rk800—connor. surprisingly or unsurprisingly, he decided to continue working at the dpd, this time as a bonafide detective. but he has also accepted the thrilling uncertainty of life that deviancy has brought; the same strings that brought his lover in his life.the same ones he hated and cursed, the same fates who ripped it all away.

a/n: everytime i convince myself i came out of my dbh hyperfixation i just look at connor and i become lovesick again.

gosh i know i should be finishing my other fic or work on the prologue script for my vn, but,,,,,,, i just had a sudden hankering for connor angst,,,,

written during a sleep deprivation induced moment of epiphany,,,,, (purple prose cuz im extra af uwu)

I’ve never written angst before so i’d love to hear your thoughts on it

maybe if you asked him one year ago whether he’d consider returning someone’s feelings, romantic feelings, he’d reply to you with a placid smile and a polite « i’m sorry, i wasn’t programmed to reciprocate romantic interest. ». he remembered that he’d sneer at them internally. now thinking about it, long before he questioned his obedience towards her, he already showed signs of deviancy.

you did what you were designed to do.

memories from his past would still torment him erratically, doubts would resurface on particularly dark days. but you were the light that cut through that haze. this wasn’t a “fake deviancy”. it couldn’t have been. not when he is holding your body so close to his, warmth radiating off of each other, two heartbeats—similar, but different—thrumming together. all the softly whispered and adoringly announced « i love you »’s; all the quick and coveted pecks and all the feverish and passionate kisses. no, he was alive, he was sure of it—alive and absolutely enamoured by you. all semblance of doubt ebbed away when you entered his life.

whenever he’s around you, he feels more alive: you make him feel everything, all the little precious things. tenderness and adoration when he shares tranquil mornings with you. he feels more alive when he’s with you, all the little habits and routines too endearing: the sweet post-it notes scattered over your shared flat; scribbled upon it are encouraging words or sweet nothings. conflicting work schedules meant that moments spent together were scarce, but that made them even more valuable and coveted. captivation, was another emotion that he felt around you. your mannerism, your dreams and interests, your physical attributes and quality of voice. logically speaking, you were just another human, insignificant in the grand scheme of things. you’d live and then one day, you’d die. as if you never really existed. but he wasn’t being logical. how could he be? when you were right there in front of him? you made him irrational, and he found that new aspect in life thrilling. confusing at first, but exciting. he was eternally grateful that you let him experience all these beautiful emotions with you. he was grateful that you allowed him in your short journey that you called life.

he was happy, absolutely content, with his shared life with you. you were both in perfect places in your respective lives: you both had a stable job, loving family backing you up, and a fulfilling love life. what seemed to be a mismatched couple at first turned to be 2 pieces of the same puzzle finally finding their place. life for the both of you couldn’t be better.

but along with the many exquisite moment that your romantic endeavours brought you, the android didn’t only taste the sweet delicacies of life; no matter how idyllic a moment may be, there were times when he had to taste the astringent and sour desserts life offered.

anger. that was an emotion that he felt. but that’s not accurate, no… it was frustration and shock and betrayal, all the unsavoury feelings in the world. perhaps it was due to his inexperience, maybe his lack of exposure to these negative sentiments, that caused him to snap the way he did. to hurt you the way he did. but it happened and there was no turning back the clock.

no matter how much he begged and cried for it.

he was proud that you got the job offer in canada, he really was. and he, like any other caring boyfriend would, offered to accompany you there, an offer which you gladly accepted. that was the plan. but plans were difficult to follow. crime waits for no man, working for the law meant that connor must always be available for duty. no excuses, he was an android. but connor wasn’t just a simple android detective, no, he had a much more important role: he was the link, the messenger, between jericho and the police force. he was the crucial communication between the two forces. so when jericho contacted him about threats of anti-android attacks, he had to make an appearance at their base. the meeting coincided with the day you were meant to travel to canada. it was a simple trip really. it only took a few hours by train, stay in canada for 2 days (it was the weekend), and then return back to detroit, probably arriving in the late afternoons to their home.

but you were looking forwards to traveling with your wonderful partner after « [we] spent so much time apart ». the day he told you the urgent change of plans, connor was tired, overwhelmed. you were frustrated and expectant. a fight was bound to have erupted. accusatory statements, along the lines of: « you don’t actually care about me! it’s all about work and work and work! » and « i can’t believe how selfish you’re being right now! » in between shouting and yelling and frustration and anger and contempt–

you both went to bed exhausted but spiteful, still not forgiving each other. in hindsight, he felt so utterly pathetic, so unbelievably childish, for being that cruel, and uncaring. he didn’t want to be like him again. so many glares and insults were thrown at each other, tears threatened to spill, LED flashed and shone a true red, doors were slammed. he felt awful, plain and simple. you both lied in the same bed, under the same cover. so close yet so excruciatingly far apart. back facing the other’s, no one said a word.

you woke up before him. bitter and unhappy. no morning kisses, no whispered « i love you » to wake your other half. you wordlessly got yourself ready, grabbed your bag and quietly snuck out. no post it notes were left. no sweet promises or encouraging words. you could do this work trip without him. you were independent. you didn’t need a tin can to chaperone you everywhere. so you left. plain and simple. gone. since you woke up and left earlier than planned, you boarded an earlier train. how lovely and convenient. the carriages were mostly filled with androids. perhaps they were trying to immigrate to canada like the others. who knows. you paid no mind and absentmindedly scrolled through your phone, obsessively checking your messages to see if connor realised. to see if he apologised. because frankly, at that point you were tired of being mad and just wanted to spend the day in his arms. but prideful and petty as you were, you weren’t willing to apologise and admit your mistakes first.

connor roused from stasis a few moments afterward, less bitter and more regretful. he wished to right his wrongs but the normally warm presence beside him was not there. his system was slowly booting back up when his audio sensor picked up an incessant ringing from the living room. he jolted up and rushed out to pick up the ringing phone call and waited for the other side to speak up.

the room was so utterly quiet, a silence so suffocating engulfed the room, that you could hear a pin drop. the voice on the other side asked whether this was indeed your house and that he was indeed connor anderson. he swallowed dryly and answered with a soft, « yes ». running a quick check in his database, he matches the caller’s voice with a certain nathaniel edwards. first responder. he allowed his HUD to display the news. if androids could get pale, have all their blood drain from their faces, his would have certainly done so. he stood, rigid and motionless, consumed by shock and horror.

the news and the first responder’s words blended into one as he gripped the phone tighter: « this morning, at 7:48 am the train from detroit to toronto was caught in a devastating turn of events: the train soon caught in fire and exploded as it made its way over the border. it has been confirmed that there has been 0 survivors. it is unclear whether this was an unfortunate accident or the result of anti-android terrorism. »

the other person’s voice poured through the speaker but he wasn’t listening. he stared blankly in front of him. no way, he thought, it couldn’t have been… the only sign that the android was registering the other man’s input was the now constant red LED.

« sir? sir. i’m sorry to bring this— – no, this isn’t right… you must have the wrong number, he interrupted. there were probably others with your name… maybe they were mistaken... – sir that’s not possible, w— – you must have gotten the wrong house… not… it-it couldn’t have been…» but he knew how improbable it was that they got the wrong number. he was built to be logical, to believe statistics. the statistics told him you were dead. long gone. he hoped and prayed that you stayed back, didn’t get on the earlier train. the statistics told him you did.

he choked out a response, quiet and defeated. you were gone. he’d never get to see you again. « i… i’m sorry… i-i don’t understand… – we tried our best to find them sir, but… the fire was too severe… if we gain any new developm— – you didn’t save them. »

still in a daze, he must have hung up on the poor man and unceremoniously dropped the phone. its clatter the only sound in this deafening silence. the reality of it all comes crashing through and he collapsed, ugly sobs escaping him as the denial faded away to make way for the pure and unfiltered grief. he felt lost. for the first time in a long while since amanda he felt so utterly and completely lost. no more shining beacon during his dark and stormy nights. no more valued affection and coveted kisses. no more notes and no more smile to come home to.

he laughed bitterly, devoid of any humour. it was funny, just how cruel the fates were: made human life so fleeting. lachesisonly gave them such a short eternity. and when he thought you both found your missing halves, bound to another by an invisible string, atropos cuts it. a small snippet that is so easily ripped away from you. he belonged with you, he felt at peace with you. he was able to be what he struggled to be for the majority of his miserable and artificial existence. with you, he was able to be happy.

but now he’ll have to get used to not coming home to a warm embrace. he’ll have to get used to going into stasis alone, in the cold bed. he’ll have to get used to his aching heart being greeted by an empty house. every cold and lonely  nights. it’s ridiculous how human he felt because of you. and he was both thankful and spiteful for it.

sadness and bitter regret ripped through him when he remembered that he didn’t  share goodbyes before he left. he remembered how he couldn’t have apologised to you and tenderly held you. he regretted not being able to tell you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him for the last time. ra9 only knows the things he’d do and the things he’d sacrifice, just to have you in his arms again.

instead he was faced with the bitter reminder that the last thing he’s ever said to you, your last memory of him, was a contemptuous and scornful « i wished i never met you ».

like my work? consider buying me a coffee // checking out my masterlist | links can be found on my desc

[ptersparkers]

hi, peter parker

summary: the four nights spider-man visited your window and the one time he stayed.

a/n: this has been in my drafts since early 2018 and i am in love with peter parker. anyways im so grateful to get to hear back from you guys and i love seeing messages from you lot!!

warnings: none, just fluff 

masterlist / taglist 

i

To think you had said no to a night out.

You sighed and looked at your phone, your friend Taylor sending you a video via snapchat wishing you were at a friend’s house party. Initially you had declined because of a stressful week at school, but now you were bored out of your mind.

‘Sorry, Tay,’ you texted. ‘Maybe next time.’

Your phone’s clock read three minutes until midnight and you figured it would be best to sleep. You scoffed at the thought of resting when your body’s clock was rendered to stay up until four in the morning - what you had been doing some nights to study for upcoming AP tests. Now that that was out of the way, it’s like your body couldn’t fall asleep until well after midnight.

You groaned to yourself and switched on the small light by your bed. The light was dim enough so it wouldn’t bother the neighbors across from your apartment. Your eyes were closed for a total of, what felt like a millisecond, before you heard knocking on your window.

“What in the world?” you muttered. You stood up from your bed and immediately saw a red mask greet you.

“Hey there! I know this is weird, but you’re the only window with the light on and I really need to stop before I fall. There’s a whole bunch of houses and I need to fix my web shooters,” said the man in the mask, which you knew to be Spider-Man.

You stared at him, unable to comprehend what you were about to do. “Oh, um, sure,” you said before opening your window. You stepped aside and let him in. Spider-Man crawled through your window and landed effortlessly on the carpet, not making a sound.

“That was almost graceful,” you commented. “I’m pretty sure my mom would’ve thought I snuck out.”

“Do you sneak out?” he asked.

“Nah. I’m too lame to try. Do you want water or anything?” He shook his head.

“No, I just need someplace to fix my web shooters. I think they got jammed,” he replied.

“Okay, cool,” you said awkwardly, balancing from one foot to the other.

“Can I sit on your bed?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Do you have a small pick by any chance?”

“I have tweezers?”

“I guess that’ll do.”

You fetched tweezers from your makeup vanity and gave them to him. He instantaneously began working on his web shooters as you stood and watched. His head shot up and he faced you.

“I’m sorry, I never introduced myself. I’m Spider-Man,” he said, extending his hand for you to shake.

“Y/N,” you replied. “Welcome to my humble abode.”i

“Thanks! I really like the board above your bed with all the polaroids. It looks so neat that I fear I might mess it up from all the way over here.”

You laughed and sat beside him. “I’ve been obsessed with taking polaroids for two years now. I made it a point to capture the best memories and fix them into some sort of memory board so I can remember the good times.”

“That’s smart. I wish I was artistic and creative, but I can barely draw a straight line with a ruler,” he said. You watched as he worked and sat in silence for a moment.

“Say, do these web shooters get stuck all the time?”

“Not usually, I just think I haven’t really been able to update them or clean them out. I’ve been busy with all this ‘saving the little guy’ stuff,” he said.

“Is it fun? Being Spider-Man, I mean. You’re practically an Avenger,” you asked.

“I’m technically not an Avenger. Well, not yet. I’ve been working with Mr. Stark for a little bit, but it’s mostly keeping Queens safe for now.”

“Sounds like you’ve got a serious job on your hands.”

You could see the eyes on his mask move like he was smiling underneath. “Yeah, I do. I’m glad people can understand that.”

“So, what kind of things do you do on your day off? I’m sure you’re not always swinging around and hanging out in the homes of strangers.”

He laughs. “No, not really. I don’t know, I hang out with friends sometimes.”

You thought about asking him more, but decided against it. His life outside of being Spider-Man was his own.

“Wow, that sounds pretty mundane. I do pretty much the same, except school’s almost over and I have a month until summer break,” you replied. Spider-Man hands you back your tweezers and fixes the web shooters back on his suit.

“Any fun plans for the summer?”

“As of right now, no, but who’s to say?”

Spider-Man laughed and walked towards your window. “I’m sure you’ll find something fun to do. Thanks again, Y/N.”

“See ya!” you say as you watch him exit the window and swing away.

ii

Summer was just around the corner. It was another Friday night and you had decided against studying for finals because it seemed that that was all you did in your free time. The sky was getting dark out and you decided to stay in bed tonight and binge watch shows on Netflix, turning your phone on silent. You had enough snacks to last you the entire night and popped your headphones in, pressing play.

It wasn’t long before you heard tapping on your window. Curiously, you stood from your bed and saw Spider-Man.

“You again,” you said playfully as you opened up the window. “What do you need this time?”

“Honestly? I think I need a little break,” he said. “I’d also love to take this suit off, but my identity is something I’d like to keep hidden for a little while.”

“That’s fine,” you replied. “I’m not really in a rush. Not that you need to tell me who you are or anything, ugh, you get what I mean.”

Spider-Man laughed and pointed at your window and you nodded, watching as he climbed his way through.

“Can you even breathe in that thing?” you asked, pointing at his mask.

“Oh, yeah! It’s a breathable material and lets oxygen pass so I’m not always suffocating myself. That’s how I’m able to keep the mask on at all times.”

“Interesting,” you said, sitting on your chair by your desk as he took a seat on your bed.

“Studying for finals?”

“More like procrastinating. Well, all I do is study and I deserve a break,” you said.

“That you do. Final season is coming up and I’m dreading having to -”

“Wait, you’re in school?” you asked, interrupting his speech.

Spider-Man looked at the ground, the walls, and anywhere but your gaze.

“I, uh, yeah?” he said with uncertainty, scratching the back of his neck.

“If you think I’m going to look all over Queens to find out which school you go to, I’m letting you know now that I won’t. That seems like too much effort and for all I know, that isn’t your actual voice,” you replied, twirling a pen in your hand.

“Phew, thank you,” said Spider-Man, pretending to wipe sweat off of his forehead. “Damn, all of this swinging made me really hungry.”

“You should try the deli down there. It’s called Delmar’s and it’s my favorite sandwich shop. Also, asked for the sandwiches to be smushed! Don’t ask me why, but it tastes better,” you said.

Spider-Man went silent for a moment and you cocked your head to the side, thinking you either said something wrong or he was just really hungry.

“What?”

Spider-Man shook his head. “Nothing, nothing. I’ll be sure to try your suggestion. Anyway, I’ll see you soon!”

And with that, you saw red and blue flying in the wind.

iii

You were half asleep with your headphones in your ears when you heard a faint ‘thwip.’ Your parents were fast asleep and you had willed yourself to watch one more episode of Law and Order: SVU before getting sleep for your final. Currently, you were on your side with one earbud in (the other having fallen out, but you didn’t care much) and the voice of Olivia Benson could be faintly heard from the volume that could put you to sleep.

You stirred slightly, but not enough to wake you up fully.

Then came a knock on your window. Once. Twice. Three times. You yawned and rolled over to see Spider-Man standing outside your window with nothing but the moon behind him to illuminate your room. You threw the covers off of you and rubbed the sleep away from your eyes, opening the window for him to come in. With it, the chilly wind did not welcome you warmly and you grabbed a sweatshirt from your closet.

“Sorry to wake you,” he said sheepishly.

You waved him off. “It’s okay, Spider-Man. I like your company and you’re probably the only person who I couldn’t bring myself to yell at.”

He put his hands of his heart. “Wow, I’m so touched.”

“You should be,” you said, climbing into the covers and resting your back against your bed frame. “What brings you to this part of Queens at this ungodly hour?”

“It’s only nine thirty,” Spider-Man deadpanned. You shrugged.

“What can I say? A girl really needs her beauty sleep before her last final.” Spider-Man’s autonomic eyes seemed to narrow as if her were in thought.  

“Oh shoot, that’s tomorrow? I’m sorry for bothering you,” he apologized. You laughed and shook your head, patting the bed for him to rest on. Spider-Man gently put his knees on the mattress and situated himself so he was laying on his side, looking at you.

“It’s okay, Spidey. You already know I love your company. Besides, it’s only nine thirty,” you mocked. Spider-Man laughed and the room fell into a comfortable silence. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing really,” he began, but you looked at him with a knowing expression. “Okay, a lot but that’s for another day when we have more time. I’m just thinking how lucky I am to have you in my life and I’m grateful it was you whose room I stumbled into and not some mean old lady.”

“I’m happy you came here too,” you confessed. “This is probably gonna sound weird but...your visits are something I look forward to. I don’t know, I just feel like I opened up to you much quicker than any of the friends I have at school.”

“I feel the same way,” he said, sighing. “I don’t know, it’s just hard being two people at the same time. Even though you don’t know my real name yet, you know more about me than anyone else does.”

“And that’s something I will cherish forever,” you said, stroking his cheek with your hand. “I’m really happy I met you.”

“I can say the same,” he replied. But before he could make himself more comfortable, Spider-Man pushed himself off of the bed and adjusted his web shooters before seeing that you had tucked yourself in. Spider-Man smiled and his autonomic eyes grew wider as he bent down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You could barely feel his lips.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

iv

You groaned, slamming your door shut and planted your face into a pillow, wanting to forget the world had ever existed. It was a hot summer night and your mother had just let you know that she and your father would be staying at a friend’s for the week, but that you couldn’t join them this time. You probably should’ve been happy to have the apartment alone, but the last thing you wanted to be was alone.

Spider-Man hadn’t come by your apartment in nearly a month and you had started to grow increasingly worried about the boy who you couldn’t get out of your mind. Every time you thought about the possibility of dating, you immediately shook that out of your head for two reasons: the first being he’s a superhero and you were a regular New York citizen, and the fact that you didn’t know his name or what he looked like. You’d never pressure him, but that didn’t mean you were dying to know.

The sun was almost set when your parents left and you hadn’t had the decency to move from where you flung yourself. There was a tapping sound from the window and you knew who it was.

“It’s open!” you mumbled from your pillow, where you had curled yourself so you could continue in your self wallowing.

“Who dragged the cat in?” Spider-Man asked with a chuckle. You looked at him as if you hadn’t seen him in years and got off of your bed, letting your arms snake its way around him. With a sigh, you closed your eyes and let yourself revel in this moment. “You okay?”

“I was worried,” you said quietly. “You usually go no more than a few days of being gone but it’s been nearly a month, and I know I don’t have any right to worry, and that you were probably really busy, but I was really worried.” Spider-Man let out a soft chuckle and held your body closer to his, letting his chin rest on top of your head.

“You have every right to be worried, Y/N. I’m touched that you care so much. I-I’ve been a little stressed with my personal life and haven’t been able to patrol as often and I didn’t have much energy to swing to your place. I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s okay,” you replied. “I’m just relieved to find out you aren’t dead.”

Spider-Man laughed. “Say, what are your parents gonna think if they find me in your room?”

“Well, they’re gone this week so there’s no way that’s happening.”

“Oh, well lucky me, I guess,” he said nonchalantly as he let himself rest on your bed. He plopped himself in the middle, his back resting against the mattress as you chuckled. “Come lay with me.”

You didn’t say anything as you climbed next to him and willed yourself not to put your entire body on him, but Spider-Man pulled you to his side and held you tight.

“I had this nightmare that you needed me and I couldn’t save you,” said Spider-Man. “I was in a really weird place and felt like I couldn’t leave my house but last night was the last straw. You were falling and I couldn’t save you. I needed to see you again just to make sure.

His voice got weaker and you put your head on his chest, finding his hand to squeeze it to let him know you understood.

“Sometimes I think this gig is too much for me. I feel like I shouldn’t have been given these abilities but at the same time, I’m grateful for all the things it’s given me. Like you.”

“I’m here,” you whispered.

You both stared at the ceiling for a while, basking in each other’s company. You would faintly feel his heart beating through his suit and he was rubbing soothing circling on your hip with his thumb.

“You know,” you said, hesitantly while propping yourself up with your elbows. “You could stay for the night since my parents are gone.” Your eyes widened as soon as you said it. “I-I mean that in the most innocent way possible.”

Spider-Man laughed and looked at you with his autonomic eyes, letting a comfortable moment pass as he thought about your offer.

“I think I’d have to let some people know I’d be safe first, but I’d like that.”

It grew quiet between you two and you didn’t know what was to come next. Slowly, you moved your body to sit up and he followed suit, wondering what you were planning.

“Do you trust me?” you asked.

“I trust you,” he confirmed. You moved your hand towards his mask and you could already sense his body tense up, especially when you moved the mask up his face. You stopped for a brief moment, but he didn’t stop you. You kept lifting the mask until it rest gently above his nose and leaned in to place your lips on his.

The kiss was gentle and searing at the same time, like you both had been wanting to do something for a while but hadn’t until that very moment. It was passionate and innocent, slow and fast. It wasn’t rushed; you held his jaw with both hands, afraid that he was going to leave the second you pulled away. His lips moved in conjunction with yours and didn’t part until you both ran out of air.

“I’ve been meaning to do that for a while,” he said, not bothering to pull his mask down. You laughed and looked at him as he took off his web shooters and pulled his mask off his face.

“Hi, I’m Peter Parker.”

To say you were surprised was an understatement. Spider-Man was cute.

“Holy shit, you’re hot,” you whispered more to yourself. Peter laughed and your cheeks developed a pink tint.

“I happen to think you’re also hot,” Peter said with a chuckle before pressing another kiss to your lips.

“Hi, Peter Parker,” you said with a grin.

“Hi, Y/N Y/L/N,” he said with a grin equally as big.

“I don’t really know what I imagined under the mask, but you’re much cuter than what I had expected,” you said. “Let me go get some of my brother’s extra clothes. He lives in Los Angeles now but we still have some of his stuff!”

Peter smiled at you as you walked out of your bedroom and took the time to look around, letting himself bask in the moment that was pure bliss. How you were going to introduce him to your parents, he didn’t know. But Peter knew he didn’t want to let you go any time soon.

***

Taglist

@kath94210​ @sessi03​ @olliekookie​ @edgyhargreeves​ @simonsbluee​ @meraki--me @sleep-i-ness​

[pointedly-foolish]

[ вut "sєntímєntαl вσч" ís mч nσm dє plumє ]

word count: 1916

pairing: connor/gn!reader

genre: slight fluff; hurt no comfort

summary: it has been a year after the android revolution. humans and android alike settled down, an olive branch was offered as a sign of reconciliation. with newfound peace came along newfound love, and many open roads to choose from. this was no different for the rk800—connor. surprisingly or unsurprisingly, he decided to continue working at the dpd, this time as a bonafide detective. but he has also accepted the thrilling uncertainty of life that deviancy has brought; the same strings that brought his lover in his life.the same ones he hated and cursed, the same fates who ripped it all away.

a/n: everytime i convince myself i came out of my dbh hyperfixation i just look at connor and i become lovesick again.

gosh i know i should be finishing my other fic or work on the prologue script for my vn, but,,,,,,, i just had a sudden hankering for connor angst,,,,

written during a sleep deprivation induced moment of epiphany,,,,, (purple prose cuz im extra af uwu)

I’ve never written angst before so i’d love to hear your thoughts on it

maybe if you asked him one year ago whether he’d consider returning someone’s feelings, romantic feelings, he’d reply to you with a placid smile and a polite « i’m sorry, i wasn’t programmed to reciprocate romantic interest. ». he remembered that he’d sneer at them internally. now thinking about it, long before he questioned his obedience towards her, he already showed signs of deviancy.

you did what you were designed to do.

memories from his past would still torment him erratically, doubts would resurface on particularly dark days. but you were the light that cut through that haze. this wasn’t a “fake deviancy”. it couldn’t have been. not when he is holding your body so close to his, warmth radiating off of each other, two heartbeats—similar, but different—thrumming together. all the softly whispered and adoringly announced « i love you »’s; all the quick and coveted pecks and all the feverish and passionate kisses. no, he was alive, he was sure of it—alive and absolutely enamoured by you. all semblance of doubt ebbed away when you entered his life.

whenever he’s around you, he feels more alive: you make him feel everything, all the little precious things. tenderness and adoration when he shares tranquil mornings with you. he feels more alive when he’s with you, all the little habits and routines too endearing: the sweet post-it notes scattered over your shared flat; scribbled upon it are encouraging words or sweet nothings. conflicting work schedules meant that moments spent together were scarce, but that made them even more valuable and coveted. captivation, was another emotion that he felt around you. your mannerism, your dreams and interests, your physical attributes and quality of voice. logically speaking, you were just another human, insignificant in the grand scheme of things. you’d live and then one day, you’d die. as if you never really existed. but he wasn’t being logical. how could he be? when you were right there in front of him? you made him irrational, and he found that new aspect in life thrilling. confusing at first, but exciting. he was eternally grateful that you let him experience all these beautiful emotions with you. he was grateful that you allowed him in your short journey that you called life.

he was happy, absolutely content, with his shared life with you. you were both in perfect places in your respective lives: you both had a stable job, loving family backing you up, and a fulfilling love life. what seemed to be a mismatched couple at first turned to be 2 pieces of the same puzzle finally finding their place. life for the both of you couldn’t be better.

but along with the many exquisite moment that your romantic endeavours brought you, the android didn’t only taste the sweet delicacies of life; no matter how idyllic a moment may be, there were times when he had to taste the astringent and sour desserts life offered.

anger. that was an emotion that he felt. but that’s not accurate, no… it was frustration and shock and betrayal, all the unsavoury feelings in the world. perhaps it was due to his inexperience, maybe his lack of exposure to these negative sentiments, that caused him to snap the way he did. to hurt you the way he did. but it happened and there was no turning back the clock.

no matter how much he begged and cried for it.

he was proud that you got the job offer in canada, he really was. and he, like any other caring boyfriend would, offered to accompany you there, an offer which you gladly accepted. that was the plan. but plans were difficult to follow. crime waits for no man, working for the law meant that connor must always be available for duty. no excuses, he was an android. but connor wasn’t just a simple android detective, no, he had a much more important role: he was the link, the messenger, between jericho and the police force. he was the crucial communication between the two forces. so when jericho contacted him about threats of anti-android attacks, he had to make an appearance at their base. the meeting coincided with the day you were meant to travel to canada. it was a simple trip really. it only took a few hours by train, stay in canada for 2 days (it was the weekend), and then return back to detroit, probably arriving in the late afternoons to their home.

but you were looking forwards to traveling with your wonderful partner after « [we] spent so much time apart ». the day he told you the urgent change of plans, connor was tired, overwhelmed. you were frustrated and expectant. a fight was bound to have erupted. accusatory statements, along the lines of: « you don’t actually care about me! it’s all about work and work and work! » and « i can’t believe how selfish you’re being right now! » in between shouting and yelling and frustration and anger and contempt–

you both went to bed exhausted but spiteful, still not forgiving each other. in hindsight, he felt so utterly pathetic, so unbelievably childish, for being that cruel, and uncaring. he didn’t want to be like him again. so many glares and insults were thrown at each other, tears threatened to spill, LED flashed and shone a true red, doors were slammed. he felt awful, plain and simple. you both lied in the same bed, under the same cover. so close yet so excruciatingly far apart. back facing the other’s, no one said a word.

you woke up before him. bitter and unhappy. no morning kisses, no whispered « i love you » to wake your other half. you wordlessly got yourself ready, grabbed your bag and quietly snuck out. no post it notes were left. no sweet promises or encouraging words. you could do this work trip without him. you were independent. you didn’t need a tin can to chaperone you everywhere. so you left. plain and simple. gone. since you woke up and left earlier than planned, you boarded an earlier train. how lovely and convenient. the carriages were mostly filled with androids. perhaps they were trying to immigrate to canada like the others. who knows. you paid no mind and absentmindedly scrolled through your phone, obsessively checking your messages to see if connor realised. to see if he apologised. because frankly, at that point you were tired of being mad and just wanted to spend the day in his arms. but prideful and petty as you were, you weren’t willing to apologise and admit your mistakes first.

connor roused from stasis a few moments afterward, less bitter and more regretful. he wished to right his wrongs but the normally warm presence beside him was not there. his system was slowly booting back up when his audio sensor picked up an incessant ringing from the living room. he jolted up and rushed out to pick up the ringing phone call and waited for the other side to speak up.

the room was so utterly quiet, a silence so suffocating engulfed the room, that you could hear a pin drop. the voice on the other side asked whether this was indeed your house and that he was indeed connor anderson. he swallowed dryly and answered with a soft, « yes ». running a quick check in his database, he matches the caller’s voice with a certain nathaniel edwards. first responder. he allowed his HUD to display the news. if androids could get pale, have all their blood drain from their faces, his would have certainly done so. he stood, rigid and motionless, consumed by shock and horror.

the news and the first responder’s words blended into one as he gripped the phone tighter: « this morning, at 7:48 am the train from detroit to toronto was caught in a devastating turn of events: the train soon caught in fire and exploded as it made its way over the border. it has been confirmed that there has been 0 survivors. it is unclear whether this was an unfortunate accident or the result of anti-android terrorism. »

the other person’s voice poured through the speaker but he wasn’t listening. he stared blankly in front of him. no way, he thought, it couldn’t have been… the only sign that the android was registering the other man’s input was the now constant red LED.

« sir? sir. i’m sorry to bring this— – no, this isn’t right… you must have the wrong number, he interrupted. there were probably others with your name… maybe they were mistaken... – sir that’s not possible, w— – you must have gotten the wrong house… not… it-it couldn’t have been…» but he knew how improbable it was that they got the wrong number. he was built to be logical, to believe statistics. the statistics told him you were dead. long gone. he hoped and prayed that you stayed back, didn’t get on the earlier train. the statistics told him you did.

he choked out a response, quiet and defeated. you were gone. he’d never get to see you again. « i… i’m sorry… i-i don’t understand… – we tried our best to find them sir, but… the fire was too severe… if we gain any new developm— – you didn’t save them. »

still in a daze, he must have hung up on the poor man and unceremoniously dropped the phone. its clatter the only sound in this deafening silence. the reality of it all comes crashing through and he collapsed, ugly sobs escaping him as the denial faded away to make way for the pure and unfiltered grief. he felt lost. for the first time in a long while since amanda he felt so utterly and completely lost. no more shining beacon during his dark and stormy nights. no more valued affection and coveted kisses. no more notes and no more smile to come home to.

he laughed bitterly, devoid of any humour. it was funny, just how cruel the fates were: made human life so fleeting. lachesis only gave them such a short eternity. and when he thought you both found your missing halves, bound to another by an invisible string, atropos cuts it. a small snippet that is so easily ripped away from you. he belonged with you, he felt at peace with you. he was able to be what he struggled to be for the majority of his miserable and artificial existence. with you, he was able to be happy.

but now he’ll have to get used to not coming home to a warm embrace. he’ll have to get used to going into stasis alone, in the cold bed. he’ll have to get used to his aching heart being greeted by an empty house. every cold and lonely nights. it’s ridiculous how human he felt because of you. and he was both thankful and spiteful for it.

sadness and bitter regret ripped through him when he remembered that he didn’t share goodbyes before he left. he remembered how he couldn’t have apologised to you and tenderly held you. he regretted not being able to tell you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him for the last time. ra9 only knows the things he’d do and the things he’d sacrifice, just to have you in his arms again.

instead he was faced with the bitter reminder that the last thing he’s ever said to you, your last memory of him, was a contemptuous and scornful « i wished i never met you ».

like my work? consider ordering a commission // buying me a coffee // checking out my art tag or my masterlist | links can be found on my desc

[veliseraptor]

okay first of all im so glad you're talking about your ex-villain project!! i have been thinking about it for like a really long time & kind of wanted to ask about it but i was too nervous. if you ever publish it i will definitely read it, this is 100% my jam & i would die for all of your ocs. for the ask meme (it was REALLY hard to narrow down so you dont have to answer all if you don't want to) could we have 11, 16, 19, 26, 32, & 35 for all?

Friend, I will always love to talk about this project, it’s exciting and definitely easier than, you know, actually writing it. My OCs would definitely not die for you, I am afraid, except for maybe Yazdan. He might do it under the right circumstances. Nobody else, though. 

Putting this under a cut because it got long…

How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

Kazem: Oh, Kazem thinks he’s hot stuff. He’s prone to thinking he’s the smartest person in the room, which, unfortunately, he often is - at least in terms of knowledge and cleverness. And he knows this about himself, and is distinctly proud of it. He’s not so great on the common sense front, though. 

Israt: She doesn’t necessarily see herself as intelligent - it’s not a part of her personality self-definition, anyway. She’s smart enough, as far as she’s concerned, but it’s not a defining characteristic, for her.

Yazdan: I’ve talked a little about how he struggles with seeing himself as uneducated, and how he’s very self-conscious about that. He’s smart enough but he doesn’t think of himself as particularly intelligent. 

Jaleh: She’s fought hard for her education, and she thinks of herself as certainly clever, though she’s aware of the holes in her education. But she’s fairly confident in her intelligence just the same. It’s not the thing she values most about herself, though. 

What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

Kazem: Right now? Not much. It’s not like he has a lot of options for gainful employment. Yazdan is basically his sponsor helping keep him alive, though he keeps pushing Kazem to look for something to do, which he isn’t. 

He’s not happy with it. He’s bored, and miserable, but he doesn’t really see a way out of it, either, when most people would hardly want to hire him (and might just want to kill him). Also, feeling sorry for himself is a full time job.

Israt: I referred to this in another ask, but she’s an Outrider who makes her living scouting the borders of the empire - not actively a soldier, but more of a scout and skirmisher. She deals a lot with the reality of the tension along the borders, particularly the western border with the Rome expy.

She likes it, more or less. It keeps her away from her home and family, it requires more work from her body than her brain so she can disengage from thinking too much, it takes her to interesting places, and there’s a certain glamour that lets her pick up most people she wants to. And she appreciates not having to stay in any place very long.

Yazdan: Professional heroism, more or less. Well, technically he’s in the employ of the empress (again, more or less), and there is an element of the spy to what he does, but mostly he puts out brush fires and is a demonstration of power to their neighbors. 

He’s not totally pleased with this situation - it makes him feel a little dirty and used, sometimes. But he also feels like it’s what he needs to be doing, because someone does, and he’s the only person who seems willing to volunteer - especially after his role in Kazem’s fall raised his profile astronomically.

Jaleh: This is another “I could tell you but she’d have to kill you” question.

What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

Kazem: Kazem’s older brother was pretty horrifically abusive, his parents did nothing about it, and at a relatively young age Kazem ended up killing him. 

That’s…not the source of all his issues, necessarily, but it did found a lot of disillusionment with people in general, how they behave, and the prospects for people looking after him - it very much developed for him a sense of “I have to take care of myself because no one else is going to do it.” And the drive to accumulate as much power as possible so he’s never that vulnerable again.

Israt: Her sister’s death was a big one. Prior to that, Israt had a fair amount of freedom, or at least decided she did (her family didn’t appreciate it, but she still took it). After that…the world was a lot less safe, a lot less sure, and she had a lot more responsibility and a lot less belief in the fairness and justice of the universe. That’s kind of her breaking point when “minor disaster human” became “major disaster human.” 

Yazdan: This is one where I don’t actually feel like I can answer it because of spoilers, but I can say that he feels like a fraud a lot of the time - in some ways his deepest disillusionment is in himself.

Jaleh: I also can’t say much here because of spoilers, but she had a hard life growing up and doesn’t expect much from other people - much help, much love, much affection. She’s very self-sufficient and her view of the world is pretty bleak. She thinks most people are fundamentally hypocrites who are just out for their own gain.

She’s very “every person for themselves,” which contributes a lot to her ruthlessness.

What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance? 

I have the fancast here for appearance. When it comes to home…Kazem and Israt both don’t have a permanent one, and Jaleh’s is another one that I don’t want to answer in detail. Yazdan is also relatively itinerant, though he does technically have his own home adjacent to the palace. He doesn’t spend a lot of time there, though, as a rule, because he’s kind of uncomfortable with it.

How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

Kazem: By turns either aggressively or with despair. When Kazem is stressed it’s either “take it out on everyone else” or “turn it inward and depression retreat away from the world.” There’s really not much of a middle ground. At least, that’s how it goes when he can’t control the stressful situation - if he can figure out how to white-knuckle control it and turn it to his advantage somehow then that’s fine. 

Israt: Israt prefers to avoid stressful situations overall, though she’s really in the wrong job for it, and she actually is pretty good at crisis management - better than she gives herself credit for. She has a pretty level head when things go to shit around her. It’s when things are fine that she starts running into trouble.

Yazdan: Also tends to handle stress fairly well, because he needs to a lot of the time. It’s also why he spends a lot of time tired, though. (Tired and not showing it.) He is in a nearly constant state of low-key anxiety, though, which is maybe why he can “handle” it - he’s just sort of used to that being a state of being.

Jaleh: Thrives under stress. Adrenaline just gets her mind going, and when other people are buckling she takes a substantial amount of pride in her ability to knuckle down and keep going. Pressure just makes her better at whatever she’s doing. And she’s a little bit of an adrenaline junkie, in her own way. 

Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

Kazem: Poorly. Kazem is a perfectionist, and his ability to “roll with the punches” is roughly nil. He flips out about it every time, and doesn’t cope well with sudden changes in plan. He tends to both blame himself for not doing everything right and also everyone else in the vicinity for getting in the way. He is both the only competent person in the room and also solely responsible for things going wrong. 

Kazem has, as you may have gathered, Issues.

Israt: She doesn’t rationalize errors - she just expects them. And tends to just let them happen and then move on by them while pretending they don’t bother her. It’s not that they don’t bother her, she’s just kind of “well, shit happens, the world is nasty and things go wrong all the time, so…” and keep on moving. 

That’s her solution in most cases. Keep moving - the problems come when you stop.

Yazdan: Also poorly, though a little better than Kazem, and he tends to hold himself solely responsible. He doesn’t collapse in the same way, though - he’s more inclined to double down and try harder, though not always by actually changing course so much as just “well if I did this same thing but better it would have worked.” 

Jaleh: Probably handles them the best of the four of them - though she tends to blame other people for her mistakes a lot. Also has the “I’m the only competent one in the room” thing, but that just means that when things go wrong it’s not her fault. She does adjust course more easily, though, and is more flexible about changing plans or accounting for the unexpected and adapting for it. 

[franeridart]

what program/brushes do you use for your art? it's so damn pretty

Easy Paint tool SAI and the default pen/brush/marker tools, mostly! and thank you!!! ;^;

Anon said:When I was a kid I would've had a crush on Akane

HECK that’s such a compliment!! Thank you!!!

Anon said:Couldn't Akane technically Control/move Kiri's hair since it's dyed? I mean it's like his hair is stained meaning it's not alive! so Akane finally warms up to him and messes with him or plays with his hair?

She can and she did! I drew her doing just that both in the first and in the fourth thing I posted about her! :D

Anon said:okay i don't know if this is coming through but i have just looked through your entire blog(can only go 4 years back) and let me just say you are wonderful, I absoluty LOVE how you paint/draw like its sooo pretty??? like dnjwcfehbi i cant describe it, (part 1) || like you are wonderful, I absolutely LOVE how you paint/draw like it's so pretty??? like dnjwcfehbi I can't describe it like it's absolutely Fabulous, Stunning, Amazing, Lovely and it looks so smoooooth like what????how??But anyways love your art and love you keep being Amazing! (part 2)

AH GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! This is such a sweet ask to get TT^TT (and you can only go 4 years back because the blog is 4 years old! Can’t believe you actually went through it all!!)

Anon said:I really love your art style and your comics are so cute and I love how you draw older Bakugou and Kirishima!! It’s all so wonderful! Thank you for sharing it with everyone!

Oh man thank you!! ;;; I’m so happy yo know you like them!!!!!! TTOTT

Anon said:the level of FLUFF and KOOKIENESS and SOFT and MARSHMALLOW and MY HEART CAN'T TOOK THIS IS is so much I could die.

PLEASE DON’T DIE I LOVE YOU !!!!! 

Anon said:I love everything about Akane's au. Her, her interactions with Bakugou, how she dislikes Kirishima but is beginning to warm up to him, the boys' aged-up designs. Everything. It's all amazing. Thank you for bringing it into my life!

Nggghhhhhhhh no anon thank you for liking her!!!!

Anon said:Currently procrastinating on my essay to go through your blog because it de-stresses me and I love your art so much like seriously h e l p

GAH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! /////

Anon said:There's something I'm not understand in your AU children kiribaku. She adopted by bakugo or she is a kid bakugou have with someone. ( I'm really really sorry for my English )

Adopted!

Anon said:Your comics are so cute and funny! I'm loving the story with Akane, the last update was great! I really like the way you draw the characters, like your style is so nice. Thanks for making my day better with your art!

G o d thank you So Much!!!!!!

Anon said:Akane is adorable, and I absolutely love the comics that you upload of her, but also on top of that your mohawk Bakugo has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and brought me back from the dead at LEAST twice.

I’M REAL GLAD TO HEAR THAT because mohawk Bakugou owns my whole soul and it’s nice to know I’m not alone in that hahaha

Anon said:What are some ways Akane messes with Kiri (or used to) when he wears red clothes? Does she often do that? Does she do it when Baku's not home, or when he is so that she can hammer in just how much she dislikes Kiri? Has she ever done anything major that caused her to be really reprimanded by Baku, but being the best person in the world Kiri did not get angry?

She really only ever gets pissy (or used to! they’re starting to get along better !!!) at Kiri when she feels jealous for whatever reason, and that doesn’t happen as often as it seems through my doodles, so it’s not like she’s always antagonistic towards him! Mostly she just ignores him, so no, it doesn’t happen often at all! And she’s never gone further than messing his hair up or tugging a bit at his clothes, since she doesn’t have the strength to move Kiri all that much haha the only reason she managed to have him fall the first time was because he was balancing already, but generally Kiri weighs way too much for her to move him around or pull at the red stuff he’s wearing enough for him to notice it all that much 

anyway, Baku never reprimended her for it - not more than he did in the first comic I posted with them, at least, specifically because the damage she can make is so minor that Kiri and Baku barely consider it something to tell her off for... if she were ever to act that way towards someone she might actually hurt (say, a kid her own age) then Baku might reprimend her more seriously, but as long as she’s just tugging at Kiri’s clothes they don’t see it as anything worth fighting her over :D

Anon said:Just sent an ask, so forgive me for this one, but I'd love to get this straight: in the Akane AU Kiri and Baku graduated and share an apartment, are madly into each other, but they neither has made a move on the other yet? Perhaps that should be sad, but it's 100% adorable.

I know I shouldn’t say this as I made the au myself, but I find the arrangement pretty dang adorable too haha they act like a married couple anyway, so it’s like... pining while the rest of the world already considers them an item? and the pining is mostly about stuff like ahhhh I wanna tell him I love him or ahhhhhh god I wanna kiss him, but then they’ll fall asleep on the couch together or hold hands just for the hell of it or cook for each other or make plans that always involve each other and all in all act as each other’s partner, so it’s mostly just like *Kaminari voice* “God these oblivious idiots” hahaha

Anon said:That latest Akane comic melted my heart like you often do. Though for a moment, I expected Eijirou to say "I don't want Katsuki to be my dad, I want him to be my daddy" XD Though that would not sound like him. Props for his adorable interactions with Scarlet Death Queen Witch.

Anon you don’t get it that’s exactly why I had him say “be his son” instead of “be my dad” LMAO it was like, a conscious wording decision hahaha thank you so much for liking my girl, btw!!!

Anon said:Fran! I was just wondering if you would be willing to post your Demon Kiri and Angel Baku art on Redbubble? I'd love to buy a print of it!! Totally understand if not. Also your newer Akane comics are killing me, they're so damn cute!! So yeah love you and your beautiful art! Hope you have an awesome year!!

I CAN TRY I think I did try last time I updated my rb? But the format of the pic made it hard to use it for a lot of things so I gave up??? I can try again tho!!! Thank you for being interested in buying it!!! And thank you for liking Akane too!!!!!

Anon said:is katsuki and kirishima not together in the adopted child comics or is there gonna be a plot to them getting together? 👀

I’m not really writing anything cohesive for it so I wouldn’t call it a plot point, but yeh they still aren’t together! And I wanna have them get to the point in which they are together!!! :D

Anon said:I'm gonna die why do you do this with your adorable art my god

PLEASE!!!!! DON’T DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Your Akane + KiriBaku comics are adorable and I love the relationships that exist between them. I can't wait to see more of them!

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!! I hope I won’t disappoint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I love your art so much!! Especially the little Akane au (so freaking cute!!!!). Random question: if you’ve ever seen Lucifer, who do you think would fit his character? Have an awesome day!

I haven’t seen it, sorry :((( but thank you for liking my girl!!!!!!

Anon said:I apologize if this has already been thought of but i feel as though when akane gets older and if she decides to be a hero, part of her costume could include useful red objects mayhaps?? Such as a shield or daggers or handcuffs so if there’s a lack of red around her she isn’t in a complete ditch. But i love your work sm ahhh💕💕

Yes!!! That’s the plan!!!!! I don’t think I’ll ever draw a teen version of her character but I MIGHT mention this idea in the current timeline, I like the idea so much TT^TT

Anon said:Hey there, I am absolutely obsessed with Akane like I love her so much wow but anyways I was wondering if you've ever drawn tododeku/ will in the future?

Thank you!!!! And I have drawn them in the past (under my tododeku tag!) and I might draw them again in the future, though currently I’m in a pretty big izu//ocha mood so I dunno when that will happen!

Anon said:I love your art so much like??? Help???

THANK YOU TTATT

Anon said:Y'know it could be gayer c'mon

This ask has been in my inbox for 17 days and I still don’t know what it means ??? but I laughed a lot when I got it so thank you anon and yes, definitely, everything could always be gayer that’s just how the world goes

Anon said:I swear you drew an older version of the krbk kids and it wasn't a fever dream I'm currently frantically searching through your blog rn help

I DID that post is CURSED anon, you can look it up through any of the tags I used to tag it and it won’t show up it won’t and I don’t know why!! I always lose it exactly because of this reason I have zero idea why it does this but??? okay I guess???????????

anyway if you still want it it’s here

Anon said:If Akane can control red things, does she low-key also have control over things that are pink and orange depending on how reddish in hue they are? I love her btw. Such a smol bean who could probably kick my ass!

What a good question you got there!! She has control over everything that has a color that falls in the red wavelength of the visible spectrum - that does include certain tones of pink and certain tones of orange, but there’s a point where orange gets too yellow or pink gets too white that her powers stop working. As long as the red in the color is more than any other hue, though, her powers work! 

Anon said: im just imagining if baku takes akane with him when he is going to work and is there with kiri and akane help kiri with his hair bc she is suffering when he tries to style it himself

Once they start getting along better Akane and Kiri actually start helping each other with their hair! They’re both very particular about it so they understand each other as far as that topic goes haha

Anon said:Hi I just wanted to say I’m really enjoying what you are doing in your latest drawing. The contrast with the thick sketchy lines and the thinner crisp ones and the spaces that have no defined line! It’s cool to see you experiment with your line work while staying true to your natural style! Sorry if this came off weird but I love seeing talented artists try pushing the boundaries of their style it’s really visually/conceptually interesting! :)

AH MAN thank you so much I’m so happy to know you like that tool TT^TT it’s really super comfy to use, so it’s nice to know someone finds it visually appealing too!!! thank you!!!!!

Anon said:Is there any chance you could make a masterpost of the aus you do? It's a lot to scroll down to the beginning of a concept u have sometimes and it can be unclear when they start

They all have a tag they’re under, tho? If I’ve made more than one post about them! I have so many AUs going around that making a masterpost with all of them is a bit... mostly so since I don’t know for how many I’ll actually go back on! But if the tags don’t really work for you (generally the link is gonna look like https://franeridart.tumblr.com/tagged/[here goes the tag]/chrono to have it in chronological order) then I can try? I can’t promise I’ll find a comfortable way to do this, tho orz sorry!

Anon said:This might be an odd ask but does Akane like Jirou? I feel like they would get along really well. And how about her grandma Mitsuki? Since she takes after Katsu who takes after her, they could make an adorably angry trio

She hasn’t spent much time with Jirou yet so right now she’s mostly meh about her (though right now she only actually likes Bakugou, and she’s warming up to Kiri, but that’s about it). She doesn’t mind Mitsuki, but she hasn’t spent too long with her either! She yells a bit too much at her dad tho, which Akane isn’t particularly fond of (protective bean that she is, she doesn’t get that that’s just their way of communicating just yet), so out of her grandparents she prefers Masaru, after all~

[seven-seas-of-rhye-bread]

Ben X Reader Part 2

Hi again babes, here is the second installment of my Ben X Reader fic.

Also-- reminder: this is not smutty quite yet, because im a sadist and want to make you wait (tbh, I’ve already started writing the smut and hell, I’m gonna give myself a pat on the back already because  D A M N.)

Enjoy the burn babessssss

@gingersnaptaff @shiretotowntonation @tanya-is-dead @mylaun @ssimsass @clumsybookworm18  @jondeacon @deakyjoe

"Y/N... I need to tell you something...", your best friend Camille started, her words slightly slurred. She placed a hand on your shoulder, and turned in her bar stool towards you, "you are my best friend in the entire world. Did you know that?"

God, she was completely wasted. 

You were a little tipsy yourself, your mind feeling that familiar fuzzy feeling of happiness. The two of you were at the bar conveniently located in the lobby of the resort, and had only meant to get a quick drink before heading to dinner, but now it was quickly approaching 10 o'clock.

 "Yes, Camille, I know. And your my best friend." you responded, before hiccuping so loud you almost scared yourself. 

Camille found this absolutely hilarious and snorted with laughter. She really was your best friend; you two had known each other since elementary school, and were more like family at this point. So much so, that when she told you she was going to Hawaii for a work conference, you invited yourself along. You desperately needed a vacation, and Hawaii was more than the perfect place to escape.

 "Y/N, Y/N--- there's a cute guy, on your left.. he's looking at you..." Camille was trying to whisper, but she was failing miserably.

You turned in your chair as if stretching, but only saw an old couple having a nightcap.

 "The old guy?" you asked, turning back.

"Your other left!" 

You glanced to your right and saw a group of men, laughing and chatting and among them was the guy who had commandeered your cabana, he was looking at you, an amused look in his eyes. 

You quickly turned back and took a sip of your drink, trying to suppress the jolt of excitement coursing through you. 

"Man, is he cute..." Camille mumbled, her straw still in her mouth. You were suddenly feeling a bit more dizzy, a heat creeping up your neck.

" I think I'm ready to call it a night." you declared, pushing your drink away. 

"Ugh, you're no fun-- but I guess I should too, can't believe I'm in Hawaii and I have to work."

Camille stood up from her stool but quickly tipped over towards the patrons next to her, who gave a dirty look. You rushed out of your chair, a little unsteady yourself and grabbed Camille, trying to pull her up.

"Here, let me." 

You turned to see the blonde man taking a gentle hold on Camille and placing her arm around his neck. Camille looked up at him and smiled before declaring, quite loudly, "it's the cute guy who was looking at you!"

 He smiled and looked up at you sheepishly, before helping Camille up and walking with her out of the bar. "God, I'm so sorry..." you say, following him with Camille's purse.

Before he could answer, Camille added, " I'm not! The cute guy is carrying me..."

 He helped her into the elevator, with you following close behind.  Camille leaned into the man and said, "wow, you smell fantastic..."

The man laughed, " thank you, you smell lovely too... like wine..."

You couldn't help but laugh, as you stood across from them, watching Camille nuzzling in his neck. 

The elevator dinged, and led him down the hall as he gingerly walked with Camille. You retrieved the room key from her purse and opened the door. He walked her to the bed and she lied down, kicking off her shoes and burrowing under the blanket. You got out a bottle of water and put it on her nightstand.

"You want me to stay, Cam?" you asked.

"No... " she yawned, already turning over to go to sleep. 

  Shutting the door gingerly behind you two, you both stood awkwardly in the hallway.

 "I am so sorry about that-- I should have cut her off after 2 wines-- she's always been a light weight."

He smiled, "It's no problem, we've all been there. I'm Ben, by the way."

Finally a name to the face.

"I'm Y/N."

 You two shook his hands and his strong, warm grip made your knees weak.

 "Sorry about earlier, by the way. I was being kind of a grump" you said as you both headed towards the elevator. 

Ben laughed, "you weren't, I was just being cheeky. Sorry about stealing your cabana."

"Well, you're welcome to it any time from now on-- I really appreciate your help tonight."

You arrived at the elevator and your stomach started to rumble embarrassingly loud. 

"Hungry?" Ben asked with a smile.

You held your stomach, "yeah, a bit I guess. Think I'll go back to my room and order room service." 

What you thought was a hint of disappointment flashed before his eyes, "ah right-- room service..."

"Do you wanna maybe join me? I mean, unless you have to get back to your friends..."

Your sober self was internally screaming, you would have never been so forward as to ask a man you've just met back to your room.

 He smiled cheekily and said, "Wow, you didn't even want to share your cabana but now you're willing to share your food?" 

You returned his smile, "What can I say, I've had a change of heart."

_________________________________________________________

"I think I've become a fry at this point..." Ben said, sighing heavily. 

You two were sitting side by side on your bed, empty plates stacked on trays on the floor around the California King like an altar. 

You had been watching  whatever happened to be on tv, but mostly you two talked about anything and everything. It was effortless with him, topics flowed from one to the other and the silences in between were comfortable-- not awkward like they usually are when you hang out with someone for the first time.

 You had also been sitting rather close, so that whenever one of you moved, you'd brush against each other. These little bursts of contact were enough to make you shiver. 

"Well, you did eat all of them..." you said giving him a playful nudge.

"Did not! You had some too."

You rolled your eyes, " I had, like, 3-- you had the rest!"

 He stopped and thought about it for a moment and then groaned, "oh god, you're right-- I did eat them all."

The two of you laughed at his realization, and you couldn't help but notice how natural and right it felt with him.

 What was going on? You had never felt this comfortable with any other guy you dated.

Oh. There it was; you two weren't dating. This definitely wasn't a date. You found this slightly disappointing, but not surprising; you two were on vacation, and only eating junk and watching tv-- there had been no cuddling, no smoldering glances-- nada. 

Your face must have shown your disappointment because Ben was now looking at you with concern.

"You okay?" he asked.

 "Hmm? Yeah-- sorry, just... a little tired I guess." you answered, giving a small smile. 

Ben looked at the watch on his wrist, " well it is after 2."

"Really?" you asked, absolutely shocked-- had 4 hours actually gone by that quick?

"I should probably head back to my room-- let you get some sleep.", Ben hoisted himself to sit up on the bed. 

"Well, thank you for saving my friend and keeping me company.”

"And thank you for the food, seriously-- how much can I give you? I feel like I ate more than you did!"

You held up a hand in protest, " I don't want your money!"

He looked at you, a little differently than he had before, but you could put your finger on what in his gaze changed.

 "Well, what do you want then?" 

Holy shit. 

You swallowed hard, as he continued to look at you in a devilish way.  He leaned in so close you swore you could feel the warmth radiating off of him; he lightly intertwined his fingers with yours.

And then he kissed you; it was sweet and light but the way he gently grazed your bottom lip with his teeth set aflame a feeling in your belly that seemed to have long been dormant.

He pulled back and touched his forehead against yours. It was such a small gesture, but intimate in a way you had never thought it could be. You touched the side of his face, feeling the light stubble across his jawline and pulled him in for another kiss, this one more passionate, his tongue lightly flicking across your upper lip.

 He pulled back once more and his eyes somehow looked a darker shade of blue. 

"I should go..." he said in a breathless whisper.

 You nodded and moved away from him, clearing your throat and running a hand through your hair before you got off the bed.

 As you walked him to the door, he said, " well-- maybe I'll see you around tomorrow?"

 "I'll probably be in my cabana most of the day, so feel free to visit." 

You pulled the door open and leaned against it.

"Thanks again for tonight." you said, looking up at him with a smile.

He took a step closer and looked down at you with those steel blue eyes and kissed you, grasping your lower back to pull you closer. 

Pulling back, he kissed your forehead, lingering for a moment, and then whispered, "goodnight."

[littlemisssquiggles]

RWBY Musings #65: A Tale of Love. A Squiggle Meister’s Views on the similarities between Oscar and Salem

Someone asked “ Now I love parallels too and I’ve noticed that you would like to see a rosegarden Ozma Salem hand hold. As cute as that sounds, it kinda scares me. Ozma and Salem ended in tragedy. What would happen to Ruby and Oscar 😞 “

Squiggles Answers:

I'd love to see the hand hold scene mirrored in Ruby and Oscar because it was done during a moment where Salem and Ozma reunited and re-established their love for one another.

While Salem and Ozma's romance ended in tragedy, I still adore their love story because before their whole involvement with the Gods respectfully, they both first and foremost were two young lovers who wanted more than anything just to be together forever and went above and beyond to do that even if it meant disobeying the Gods.

The true tragedy wasn't that Ozma and Salem wound up sworn enemies but mainly how much the God's intervention changed them into two people unrecognizable from who they used to be to the point where you wouldn't believe either loved the other to the point of defying both the Gods and death itself to be reunited.

The positive that I take away from the Tragic Lovers or Fairy Tale (I think that’s their ship name) romance is the unyielding devotion and strength of their love or at least what it used to be. How much Salem and Ozma were willing to go through just to be together. Salem approached the Gods to beg for Ozma to be brought back to life for her because she couldn’t stand living the rest of her days without him and Ozma only chose to return to Remnant because the God of Light told him that Salem was still alive in that world. Let’s not forget that Ozma initially refused his godly task because in his eyes, Remnant wasn’t the same or as dear to him without his beloved Salem.

This is why I like this ship so much. Before RWBY revealed Ozpin and Salem’s past together, I was gunning for them to be lovers from the get go. Hence my previous musings like this one, this one and this one. I knew their love was going to end in pain anyways but I was still banking on them being companions and lovers and what we got was even more bittersweet than what I envisioned. A brave knight who rescued a lonely maiden from her captivity and the two fell deeply in love ever after. Who wouldn’t eat that up? This squiggle meister surely would. I’m a sucker for those types of romance stories. It hurts when you think about what Ozma and Salem’s tale became in the end. But I still ship it though. Still loving that Fairy Tale.

That's what I'd love to see and can see for a potential romance between Ruby and Oscar. Not the tragedy part, of course, although let’s admit, it will be in there since time and fate will arrive to challenge the bond between these two smaller, more honest souls given one’s connection to a certain other character.

Nevertheless, what I mostly would love to see in a future RoseGarden love story (if it’s in the cards) is that that unyielding love. That strong devotion to one another’s well-being and protecting each other while fighting together for what they both believe in and the lives of the people they both care about. When I look at Ruby, her righteous heart and desire to help others actually reminds me a lot of Ozma. You would think it’d be Salem but nah. I can actually see similarities between Salem and Oscar. Oscar’s infatuation with Ruby and obvious admiration of her strength, courageousness and pure heart reminds me of how Salem used to revere Ozma. Well…at least in that one shot we got.

Another similarity between Oscar and Past Salem that I noticed is just as how Salem lived a sheltered life trapped in her lonely tower dreaming of freedom and a life beyond its uncharted walls, the same can be said for Oscar who seemingly lived a sheltered and quiet life as a farmhand back on his aunt's farm while still fantasizing of a life beyond his home in Mistral.

The key difference between Salem and Oscar is that Salem was more self-seeking; albeit as a result of her unknown upbringing and being forced to live a lonely life locked off from the rest of the world by the only family she had; whereas Oscar is selfless. While we still don’t know much more about Oscar’s past with his family beyond the few scrapings of details left from V4, one can safely assume that Oscar was well loved and taken care of by his family.

Though he was only seen to have his aunt for guardianship, from what I observed back in V4, Oscar still retained a good relationship with his Auntie Pine who took no problem in taking Oscar into his household, providing him a comfortable home where he could’ve had his own room for privacy and a warm plate of food on the table every evening for supper in exchange for Oscar working on the farm which he didn’t seem to mind. Overall, though he desired more from his life, Oscar was quite comfortable and content living with his aunt hence the reason why he wasn’t so keen on leaving at first after Ozpin’s unceremonious arrival into his life.

Unlike Salem, Oscar more or less knew and felt love before leaving his old life behind which I guess made it all the more easy for him to give it. One characteristic I’ve noticed about Salem’s personality that always shines through, even in her past self, is her selfishness---that nature about her that always puts her desires above anything else.

This is the complete opposite of Oscar. One thing I’ve noticed about Oscar’s personality is that he makes a habit of pushing aside his own feelings in place of doing what he feels is right or better, not particularly for himself but for others around him as a whole.

This is not an entirely bad trait to have. I myself, do the same thing from time to time to avoid conflict or tension with others because I don’t like conflict. Someone once asked me what I thought Oscar’s personality type might be and my first guess was a INFJ. Speaking as someone with that personality type, I see quite a few traits of an INFJ in Oscar. Although I’m still gathering as much as I can about his persona as provided in the series, I’m still sticking with my first choice of Oscar having an advocate/ counsellor type of personality because there are key examples from the show where he’s exhibited that trait. Specifically with Ruby.

Ironically, it’s Oscar’s moments with Ruby that help bring out that caring, compassionate and willing to do what he can to help others type of personality in Oscar the most. Oscar cares for others, particularly with those closest to him. Even when he’s literally backed against a wall, Oscar puts himself last in the scenario.

This is a boy who got shoved into a wall by one of his peers after being wrongfully accused in one scene and is then seen making this person and the others a hot meal after they went looking for him after he went missing in another. 

Y’know, I harped a lot on V6 C9 on how they handled Oscar coming to terms with his feelings. But…y’know what? Now that I’ve had more time to think about the episode in terms of Oscar’s character, I realized that the bit with Oscar is surprisingly the most relatable thing I’ve seen in the show…at least to me.

Blake said the group needed space and that’s exactly what Oscar did. He went off on his own, let out whatever negativity he needed to get off his chest in that moment doing who knows what, came back and by the time the group found him, he was fine. All things forgiven if there was anything to forgive. Whatever lingering discomfort that Oscar might have harboured for Jaune was easily washed away when Jaune apologized and Oscar could see and hear how genuinely remorseful Jaune felt for his actions.

Though I still would’ve liked the episode to have shown how Oscar came to terms with his emotions and getting over it, I can’t be 100% mad anymore at the Writers for choosing to have Oscar adopt that attitude after the events of V6 C8…cause if it were me, I probably would’ve reacted and resolved the same way as Oscar did. I would’ve been cussing Jaune’s face in my mind for how he treated me with a face as straight as a pin but I would have forgiven him all the same after seeing how hurt he was for the things said and done and would have chosen to move on from the problem with better resolve; just as Oscar did.

I saw myself in Oscar while rewatching this moment and for that, I can’t be too mad at the writing for C9. Still mad. But not too mad. Only 65% versus the original 101%.  Oscar Pine--- right in the relatability! That’s why he’s my favourite!  This scene showed me how mature Oscar is for his age in how he takes in problems and decides to address them despite being the youngest of the group. 

Basically what I’m saying is that Oscar is a good boy. He’s such a good boy. Too much of good boy. Sigh. Please don’t hurt my precious freckled baby boy too much CRWBY. I want him to grow up big and strong and devilishly handsome so that he can sweep Ruby off her feet and the rosebuds can get married in 5-10 years and live happily ever after on a farm or whatever plot of land they can afford wherever in New Remnant during a time when the Gods have returned, the kingdoms are at peace again, the Grimm are there but are no longer the monstrous threat they used to be so that Oscar and Ruby’s future string band of children can grow up in a world void of war and the threats of the former Salem who would have moved on to have her happy ending with Ozma at long last in the afterlife. The end.

Returning to my point on Oscar and Salem now. Just as how Ozma arrived to free Salem from her captivity, you can almost say that the same was done for Oscar when Ozpin's arrival sparked his departure from home to become a huntsman. In a way, Ozma’s presence in Salem and Oscar’s lives gave them the push they needed to take the first step towards the freedom and change they both desired.

But as I mentioned before. Though Oscar and Salem share parallels, the defining difference between them is how either values others over themselves. As much as Salem’s past with Ozma made me empathize with her as a villain, it doesn’t excuse the fact that Salem is a person who is mostly out to achieve her own desires above anyone else’s. As a matter of fact, the revelation of her past and involvement with the destruction of Remnant only affirms my point. In her past life, Salem was probably so used to looking out for herself due to her years of isolation that it sort of developed a warped sense of egocentrism (not the word I was looking for but I’ll roll with it) that later translated into her relationship with Ozma.

I'm not denying the fact that Salem loved Ozma nor am I trying to imply that her feelings for him weren’t genuine at all. On the contrary, Salem definitely loved Ozma proving that she is capable of compassion. This is one of the things that makes Salem a far more intriguing villain to me now. What I appreciate about Salem and essentially Ozpin-Ozma too is that despite that fact that both represent the sides of good and evil in show; neither are entirely what they’re supposed to represent. They actually very gray characters.

Though Ozpin is the hero and personifies light and the preservation of all life in Remnant, Ozpin has been noted to have done some shady things that otherwise painted him in a negative light as we saw most of all this volume.

The same can be said for Salem. Although she is our main villain, I’ve noted times where Salem has shown a softer, kinder, even motherly side to her to some degree. For example, her relationship with Cinder Fall in particular. Cinder is Salem’s apprentice and the way Salem treats Cinder is almost like a surrogate mother with her daughter.  

I mean, Salem could have easily had Cinder killed with a snap of her finger just as she did with Lionheart and have her Maiden magic extracted and given to someone else more worthy if she so desired. We all know she has the capability to do that. So then why not do it? What reason does Salem have to keep Cinder alive especially knowing fully well how she is?

I don’t know about you guys but it reminded me of a strict parent punishing their child but still going easy on them. Still keeping a close eye on them because they know their child so well that they have full confidence that they’ll ultimately come of their senses.

 That’s why Salem is leaving Cinder alone to quote, ‘toil in her isolation until she redeems herself’. She’s punishing her but at the time, Salem also knows that Cinder will come back stronger and far deadlier than she was before because of this experience and that’s what Salem wants. It’s what she expects of her perfect apprentice. Her successor.

But here’s the thing. Salem loved Ozma and in the end, she still put her own desires about even him. Even if Salem is capable of loving someone, her selfish nature always resurfaces to prevail in her endeavours.

Rather than honouring Ozma's life and allowing him to rest as the God of Light said, Salem challenged the Gods again and again until it resulted in her winding up immortal but alone; cursed to walk Remnant’s face until the world is either destroyed or Salem learnt the value of life as the God of Light had hoped she would.

Did she though? Well that fact that she’s trying to gather all Four Relics while simultaneously making plans to jumpstart a Second Great War within the kingdoms of Remnant which would throw the world into the perfect chaos to get it permanently destroyed by the Gods’ return speaks volumes of how much she still hasn’t learned her lesson yet.

Salem may have loved Ozma and the life they built together after he returned but even that was later upturned by Salem’s own selfishness. From the get go Salem has only catered more for herself and even after all these years, she still refuses to see the light of what the God of Light warned her about herself. Say what you will about the Gods. Though the Brothers are also pretty grey characters themselves, it doesn’t change the fact that there was justification behind their actions with Salem. A lesson to be learnt that’s unfortunately still being avoided.

Salem was cursed with immortality because she refused to let go of her selfishness after attempting to trick the Gods into granting her desired wish of being reunited with her lover. As the God of Light rightfully said, in the beginning, when Salem made her first attempt to revive Ozma, her motives were worth pitying. As a viewer, I felt for Salem the first time. However after her second failed attempt and watching the people of First Remnant get manipulated and killed because of her personal vendetta against the Gods, my sympathy well dried up as I started to see Salem become the antagonist I know her to be.

And what’s even more depressing and noteworthy is that even after causing all that death and chaos to Remnant, Salem still did not learn her lesson and she still hasn’t to this current timeline in RWBY. She still continues to pursue her own desires and see the lives of others as nothing more but tools to use in her pursuit of what she wants.

This brings me to the meat of my post and why I’ve been making parallels between Oscar and Salem.

I have this theory---one that I’ll delve deeper into in a future musing--- about Oscar becoming an immortal just like Salem. Hear me out on this one. What if… Oscar meets the God of Light in the Realm between Realms similar to Ozma and asks him to grant him immortality. Not because he wants to preserve his own life but for the selfless motive of him desiring to use his newfound immortality to protect the people Oscar cared about while taking on the full mantle of saving humanity from the plight of Salem and her forces without the need to force Ozma and any more unsuspecting souls after him with such a task.

Imagine if… Oscar willing sacrificed his own life to end it. End the cycle and let it start over with him alone.  

Imagine if…Oscar became the last Wizard of Light. The only Wizard and the cycle resets with him as he’s turned immortal.

As I said, I plan to go more in depth with this theory soon in another musing but it’s definitely something I think could be a potential twist with Oscar’s story. I don’t want to put it as an expectation but I would love to play around with the concept of it.

I’ve seen many Pineheads worrying over Oscar being taken over by Ozpin completely or losing himself to the Merge so to counter that, I raise this possibility of Oscar essentially becoming the last reincarnate---the Last Wizard of Light as he willingly choses to dedicate the rest of his existence to stopping Salem while Ozpin, Ozma and all the other past Wizards culminated inside him over the centuries can finally be laid to rest knowing that Oscar will be the likeminded successor to carry out their legacy and mission all on his own and of his own choice as himself going forward.

If you’ve read any of my Oscar-themed musings and theories before, y’know I’ve been singing this idea of Oscar being the end to the reincarnation cycle along with him being the true reincarnate of Ozma’s original form.

I still stand very firmly by those theories because the series has set up Oscar being special---completely different from the other Wizards. The lingering question brought up in this series is whether or not Oscar will be just another one of Ozma’s lives to live out and I don’t think he will be. I believe the very fact that Ozpin reincarnated within Oscar of all people at such a young age compared to the other lives and in such a short space of time between rebirths was the first sign of how different his journey was going to be.

In the Legend of Korra series, Korra technically became the last Avatar and first Avatar in the second book. Basically the Avatar cycle sort of reset itself with Korra.

So I’d like to think Oscar will follow a similar experience where the reincarnation cycle will change with him. Oscar could symbolize the end and beginning to a new cycle. That’s why I like the concept of him becoming immortal. Instead of Ozma’s soul being reborn in the minds of different men and those souls coming together to form who we know today as the Wizard, Oscar will be the last one so that the next time Oscar dies---either he’ll die for good (meaning the God of Light strips him entirely of the reincarnation curse) or Oscar won’t die and will be reborn as himself at the last point of death or perhaps he’ll get to stay fourteen years old forever until Salem is defeated. Who knows? Overall I really love the idea of Oscar becoming an immortal just like Salem.

I mean sure Ozma had his reincarnation curse but technically his immortality wasn’t the same as Salem’s. Jinn did allude to Salem, quote, ‘meeting her adversary in time’. Of course, at the moment of revelation, the obvious assumption to that for me was Ozma since he’s the one we know is Salem’s main opponent.

However…Ozma once shared a relationship with Salem. He had a past with her. He loved her and I’d like to think that love is still there buried deep within. I don’t want to say that Ozma’s love for Salem has been his crutch but that little titbit is starting to make me wonder that perhaps…the true adversary that Salem was supposed to have wasn’t Ozma or any of the Wizards after him. It was Oscar.

For all we know, what if…Ozma and the other incarnates were just another experiment conducted by the God of Light similar to how he said Remnant was an experiment for him and his brother to learn from.

Imagine if… Light basically used Ozma and the other Wizards as guinea pigs in his formation of the perfect adversary for Salem---one the Gods believed could truly achieve what his successors could not. Defeat Salem once and for all and undo their mistake of the past. That could be an intriguing twist too. It does paint the Gods in a very heartless light more so than the actual canon did unfortunately but still worth tossing out as a theory y’know.

But yeah, that’s the theory I’m working with for now.

Returning to the original point of this response post, I know I’m hoping for Ruby and Oscar’s love to parallel Ozma and Salem in some ways but not all parallels have to end the same. Just because Ozma and Salem’s love ended in tragedy doesn’t mean that the same will befall Ruby and Oscar for their potential love story.

If Oscar and Ruby were to fall in love, I’d love to believe their love will be different. It’ll probably have its own fair share of harsh challenges particularly the ones stirred by Salem but it will be a different story with a much better end. A happier ending than the Fairy Tale lovers.

Y’know what’s ironic and what would best summarize my answer to this post. It was Ozma and Salem’s love that admittedly brought about the end of humanity in a way when you think about it. All the more reason for me to believe that it’ll be the love between Oscar and Ruby that will save the world. The relationship to blossom between them, the love and devotion they’ll come to share for each other and the people they care about---that’s what’ll save both Remnant and Salem from damnation.

I know it sounds cheesy but I do love me a good plate of cheese in romance.

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 ~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)