#this took like all of october and possibly the end of september and the beginning of novemebr

[just-a-mod]

Hyrsam, Arch-Fey of the Autumn Court

this piece took the better half of an entire month to do

and as many WIPs i may have posted, trust me ,there were half a dozen more.

i haven't worked this art on an art in a while, and man, im proud of it

[mimicha-arts]

Date: 09/29 SPOILERS FOR S2 Part 1

I don't know how many times I rewrote everything, my documents flew away for dozens of pages, so I will divide my post into several parts.

I like to theorize and explain things to myself, but at the moment every new question that comes up contradicts every answer I found. I don’t have a lot of time now, and unfortunately I have to write first, then translate. So I don't know when I will be able to edit the next part and post it.

In the first post I want to talk about time, number of attempts, and what the original reality is. My friendly reminder - this is all just empty speculation and I'm just having fun (while crying actually). I'm pretty sure that when we get trailers and more information about canon, I'll change my mind a lot. But that's it for now.

Time

The events in s2 take place in a short time. In the last interview it was said that about 3 days had passed. so. October, 23th - Lu Guang was stabbed, Cheng Xiaoshi was interrogated during the day, the events in the hospital placed during the evening. October, 24th - Chen Bin's funeral, Cheng Xiaoshi dived in his photo October, 25th - dive in Li Tianxi's photo, interrogation of Li Tianchen, time loop, Lu Guang's kidnapping October, 26th - everything that happened in the theater and in the tunnel Plus taking into account the time (about a month) they spent in the hospital, ep12 ends at the end of November/beginning of December, congratulations. The start of the new year is almost here, have we really crossed the critical point for Cheng Xiaoshi and he won't be forever 21? Heh.

9/13 is not the date of Cheng Xiaoshi's death,  it has to be 9/12. Below I will describe why I think that this is not his first attempt, and in this case more than 5 minutes have definitely passed. Time has not stood still, seconds are passing. Lu Guang's watch does not say five in the morning, but midnight and five minutes. The date of the password is Lu Guang's reminder, corresponding exactly to the time of the dive. If that's the case, I believe that each new reality is a new password corresponding to the time of  diving, as a reminder of the previous failure. 

Technically, I think that Cheng Xiaoshi actually died at 5:35 in the original timeline - this date was indicated, everything led to it, but in the end it was not shown  in s2 itself. The events in the tunnel do not correspond to this time, since the actions took place earlier (the meeting at the theater was scheduled for 3 am, the rest of the events happened very quickly, the whole action couldn't have lasted for 2 hours and a half, so I think everything happened before approximately 4 am or so).

It coincides too well with this broken time in the Overthink. So, I am desperate enough to believe that  Cheng Xiaoshi's death occurred at 05:35 (as actual time). Even if the specific time in the ED can be perceived as 5:20, because that is literally the reason why Lu Guang broke the time - his wish that Cheng Xiaoshi could live, his love for Cheng Xiaoshi. It is possible that time passed in the original reality - literally from this moment until the last attempt at 00:05. So maybe. While Lu Guang lives one life after another, in fact, Lu Guang is truly “frozen” in this 12-13 September, and not even a day has passed in the original timeline. Why do I think that exactly this amount of time has passed (more than five minutes, but less than a day)?

It’s difficult to say at all that Cheng Xiaoshi died in the photo studio in the first place.

There are changes in the design of their room.

Lu Guang probably washed the blood from his hands, so he spent some time for it, but did not change his clothes, still covered in blood, even has traces of blood on his face. (Did Cheng Xiaoshi touch his face before he died? Did Lu Guang himself cry, covering his face with hands? Oh, boy)

I'll talk about details in the next part.

Again and again

I feel sorry for him. He is the most pathetic, most selfish, most insane person in the universe. I love it so much.

I believe we have not yet seen the actual chronology in terms of events, but we have seen the original timeline in terms of Lu Guang's insane room.

I’m sure this is not his first dive; we have always had the symbolism of constant resets. Again and again, again and again, again and again. I think there have been many attempts. As many as there were photographs he could find - if the ability works the same way as Cheng Xiaoshi use it himself, and he should be the author of the photo, we can only cover our heads with our hands and cry.

This is Lu Guang's POV - Lu Guang already knew that the death node cannot be changed (meaning he already tried), but he still wants to use the very last attempt to try.

He looks so dead inside, it's impossible. In my understanding: he initially used earlier photographs that were closer to September, the death of Cheng Xiaoshi in the original reality, and then dived deeper and deeper into the past, into more distant events.

Let's go back to s1. It is still difficult to say how many times the events were repeated. Lu Guang himself confirmed it in his words that this happened more than once. There have been a lot of attempts, he himself said “no matter how hard you try".

I think that “last chance” meant just that, last chance. From what he said, we know that a photo can only be used once. If s1 showed us the events of the current timeline, which I believe, this was probably one of the earliest photos that Lu Guang could use - a photo that happened before their first meeting. Back to their real beginning. This… tritely has a beautiful and symbolic logic behind it. Current events are “all or nothing.”

The photo studio from the flashback is the original universe, this reality is not destroyed, he returns to it after each original attempt. We know that Cheng Xiaoshi died many times in many different ways. If there have been many attempts, if the attempts are limited to photographs, all he can do is use them from some original point.

Like I think he can't get an "infinite" number of attempts by using the photos again within the "past" he returned to. In my opinion, “dive within a dive” is impossible. I don't think that after diving, there is a possibility of another dive by the same person inside the diving - because it makes more sense if Lu Guang has an invisible timer that reminds him - the time is running out.

I think the design of their room in the original timeline confirms this. Their table is always full of books, there are things, lamps, even framed photo. Everything is empty. If these were the events immediately after Сheng Xiaoshi's death, would their room be so lifeless?

I'm inclined to think that Lu Guang went through all their belongings, used every possible attempt to find suitable photographs that would allow him to try to rewrite the events again.

I find destroyed or burned photographs more symbolic of failed attempts being burned, too - after all, a photo can only be used once, everything is changing, it’s not a time loop. Every used photo, every reality that doesn't turn out well, is another crossed out opportunity. But remembering his words about the destruction of photos - I think that we will see this again in the context of the fact that he destroyed the photos himself. It is quite possible that he destroys the photo after the dive to erase the reality/time where Cheng Xiaoshi died again as a fact. Because… otherwise a terrible situation will arise. If Lu Guang possesses himself from a photo, then after leaving it after Cheng Xiaoshi's death, the original!Lu Guang moves back to the original line, while Lu Guang from the rewritten timeline remains in the timeline where Cheng Xiaoshi is dead (and if the events are rewritten so deeply, it is not at all clear what will happen to his memory). Therefore, I am sure that the original Lu Guang must destroy the photographs because of this as well.

I was wondering if he destroys the photo while diving, right after it - maybe that's how the mechanics could work, I would say, of how he "locks" himself into a certain reality. But since I believe that he should return to the "original point", I do not think that this is possible - if he doesn't need to come back, if he just "dives after diving" further into the next timeline, it won't make sense: more photos can be taken, attempts won't end with a limit. But do I like this idea for the last attempt? That he has to live his entire life from the very beginning without a “save point” to return to? Oh. Yes. Note: I considered the possibility that there is no original timeline as a starting point for diving, that he dives again after diving inside the dive itself, destroys the photo immediately inside the dive, that everything is repeated again, no limit either. Just at some point Lu Guang himself decides there is no point in continuing to use any photos from this period, so decided to use a photo corresponding to the very very beginning. But in doesn't make sense, in any case he will have the opportunity to take more photos that he could use for further dives, this does not create a " the last try" point (even if it was possible, also knowing Lu Guang’s character, I don’t think that he could partly “give up”, partly take such risks voluntarily)

But it's still questionable. Because, if the original timeline exists, all dives were made from there, then a simple problem arises - given Cheng Xiaoshi's ability, all dives take place in “real time”, i.e. in the original reality the same amount of time should also pass. We all understand that this is impossible, it is difficult to imagine how many attempts Lu Guang made, how many years actually passed.

So, if we believe that the “original reality” is a thing, then the combination of their abilities, becoming a “perfect fusion,” has other limits, other specifics of using and/or the original timeline is so broken that time only passes when Lu Guang exists in it.

The original universe… or?

I hope I've made it clear enough before - in my opinion the original timeline was shown to us in terms of the timeline from where he dives into the photos. Their room. Because there must be something that creates a limited number of attempts.

But I have some doubts about the fact that what we saw in the vision or flashback is the original timeline, too. Yes, they could have shown us the very first death of Cheng Xiaoshi, this would even be logical, but the problem is that this is only relevant if we agree that Lu Guang has white hair from birth.

Considering that the hints themselves within the series may turn out to be a joke, I still haven't completely dismissed this idea. The only characters with unusual hair color are twins, but they are like that at least because of genetics, they inherited it from their mother. While the issue with Lu Guang remains open.

Therefore, I am considering 2 simple options: 1. Lu Guang's hair was originally white from birth, so we shouldn't expect him to have a different design in the original timeline. Or Lu Guang's hair turned white before Cheng Xiaoshi's death for some other reason. Then we can safely say that the events of the flashback is the original universe.

2. Lu Guang's hair was not originally white, but his hair gradually turned white with each dive attempt due to overpowering, trying too many times, and overusing his abilities.

If we consider the second option, then:

The flashback events shown to us are one of the later attempts, for example, the penultimate one, which is generally a possible option. That version of death, when Cheng Xiaoshi received a very similar injury to Lu Guang - that why the flashbacks were specifically about this late attempt.

The events shown to us are this current reality in which Cheng Xiaoshi was/has to be the 7th case, and this is exactly the death that was intended for him in this timeline - but this period of time, from April to September, was cut out and "stolen", just as case 7 disappeared. And that in the most recent attempt, not only was time rewritten “from the very beginning,” from the very first photo, but something else happened to prevent Cheng Xiaoshi’s death at the appointed time.

The one who was supposed to die in the photo studio when Lu Guang was stabbed - was Cheng Xiaoshi himself, and what was shown was not a flashback, but Lu Guang's vision of how things could have been different (if we perceive the forest not as a literal location, but a symbol) . I doubt it, but let's leave this possibility open.

Why do I even think that the white hair theory could be real? Of course, maybe it's just the light, but maybe… Due to Li Tianxi's memories and abilities, taking over the memories from the other reality in which Lu Guang lived, Qiao Ling's hair also changed a bit. Pay attention to the only white strain in her hair. This is an extremely interesting and rather intentional detail.

If this is the case, then Qiao Ling's white hair is a hint. This does not mean that every attempt is 1 white strand of hair. It's not that… literal. This is an artistic way of allowing the viewer to speculate if this is the case.

I'm not betting on any particular idea, given that things can't be that simple and we don't really know how September-April will be explained. Another problem is why Lu Guang is wearing a watch on his other hand in this shot. Everything may be different, case 7 may be about a completely different character. But I also think many things will be connected at some point.

Photos and OP

There are a lot of photographs. So many. As we remember from Dive Back in Time. There will be two key ones - thanks to Vortex.

One of which is precisely related to the moment that allowed Lu Guang to travel 6 years (or more) into the past - to the moment they even met. Would this be a photo at school? Was it an accidental photo left behind? I have much more painful though. Their “very beginning” has a huge chance of not being high school time, but as I mentioned before, I’ll leave that for a separate post.

But the other one? I can’t imagine clearly, of course, but for me there are 3 ways:

This is about the current timeline - September-October were influenced by the use of a different photo - it will let us understand what the 7th case and one of the main storylines.

The starting point from where Lu Guang began his attempts to save Cheng Xiaoshi and change his fate. The core one.

If we believe the hints in the art book, the intro, the dark design of Cheng Xiaoshi, then the photo will be from the moment where something happens to make CXS become depresso!CXS.

I had hopes that the teaser would be about s3, and thus something would become clearer in my head, but… For now, we can only build theories for the next year or two.

Thank you for reading ~

[faggylittleleatherboy]

could you possibly provide sum sources for the dates you got for the bfish timeline? not all ofc maybe just the most prominent ones. the time passage kinda confuses me + ages. i always thought it took place over the course of a year. if not totally fine ! sry to bother

Hii yeah sure

The dates were based, partially, on this, it has screenshots and it’s very good: https://bananafishexposed.wordpress.com/banana-fish-timeline/ and some stuff I came up with

Such as

- Eijis birthday: he’s officially 19 when the story starts and he’s a college student, colleges start in April in Japan and he needs to be at least 18 before April to enter, which means he’s been in college for a year, which means he’s born sometime between January and April. But the story starts in March, and they never mention at all that he’s 20 around April, and I don’t think he’d leave Japan before his birthday or right when it happens, he’s a sentimental mamas boy, so I placed his birthday on January - February, 2 years prior to ash’s, because he’s two years older, so 1966

- Ash’s death: it is official that the day he’s rescued from golzine is the 20th of January, and when he dies it’s still cold but not freezing anymore, so I placed it right at the end of winter before it starts to get warm again, therefore, March

- Shorter’s death: it happens on the same night as other events, such as a meeting and suicide for which we have official dates, so 11th of October

- When they move in together: it happens immediately when they run away from golzine, and that happens all in one night, so 12tb of October theyre alrwady together

- the fact that it’s a year: eiji’s art book has dates for them hanging out in thay mean time, and it wouldn’t make sense for golzine to solve all his affairs in 20 days, and for them to investigate etc

- Shorter’s age: he’s older than ash, and they meet when ash is 15 (he turns 16 that year but hadn’t yet). He refers to ash as a child multiple times and he’s about to finish his sentence, I speculate that if he were just 16 and not 17 he wouldn’t see ash as thay big of a baby and the others wouldnt see him as much different than a baby, but they do, which means he’s older, and he’s about to get out, which could be because he’ll turn 18 but that’s a long reach. Either way, it makes sense o me that he’s 2 years older than ash too, but his birthday is not at the beginning of the year like Eiji’s, so in the middle of the year he hadn’t turned 18 yet

- The shooting at Dino being on the 15 of august: it is stated on the link I sent you but I found it confusing, so I looked at the calendar for 1985, the 15 of July wasn’t on a Thursday, so thay had to happen on the 15 of august

- they went to cape cod right after this for the rest of the summer, thay takes us to mid September, when they go to California

So, Ash being born in august of 68, makes him 16 at the beginning of the story because it’s still March, and he’ll turn 17 later that year. Eiji being born in January - February, makes him 19 at the beginning of the story. So, on the same year: Ash turns 17 and Eiji turns 19. Then we have events such as Marvin dying and Cape Cod and Shorter dying happening until October. In October they move in together and things are pretty quiet for a while, with the only records being Eiji’s artbook with pictures of them hanging out, at, for example, July of the next year. Then, the next records are Golzine returning and Ash buying a plane ticket, both a year later because we’re again in October. At this point Ash turned 18 in august, and Eiji turned 20 at the beginning of the year when they were still in hiding. Then the rest of events unfold faster until March, when ash dies. He dies at the beginning of the year, so he’s still 18, but eijis birthday alrwady happened, so he returns to Japan at 21

Meeting: 16, 19

Living together: 17-18, 19-20

Ending: 18, 21

I did look up random pieces of information on other places, but this is the main thing. Also me reading and watching it simultaneously while making the timeline

[thelonelybrilliance]

Friday Night Lights: How Old Is Everyone, Exactly?

ok here goes. Here's how we make sense of the ages for seasons 1-3 of Friday Night Lights with as few loopholes as possible. (OK, maybe some loopholes and headcanons). I'm going to take this in batches.

Jason/Tim/Lyla/Smash

Season 1, Jason Street is a senior. We also know that he is 18 years old (he turns 19 at the beginning of Season 2). Judging from the return-from-Mexico arc at the beginning of Season 2, his birthday is probably mid-September (the Panthers are two games into the season). So far, so good.

At the start of Season 1, Tim, Lyla, and Smash are presumed to be juniors. This works out as far as Smash is concerned--he reminds Matt at the start of Season 2 that "this is his year," and he, unlike Tim*, gets letters of interest and recruiting interviews in Season 2 as Jason did in Season 1.

(*although Tim is also not seeming particularly eligible for college at that point)

Tim could be plausibly a year behind his peers in Season 1 while being junior-age. We know he is 17 at the start of Season 2, and I head-canon that his birthday is late fall/winter, so he is 16-going-on-17 for most of Season 1. Mud Bowl takes place in November, for reference. (To make the Jackie of it all slightly less icky, presume his birthday is in October/early November. To give him the Sad Christmas baby birthday he deserves, presume it is in December.) Since Jason's game-tapes in early Season 2 and Tim's starting position throughout the show suggest that he is not transferring from JV at the beginning of Season 1, Tim is presumably not a freshman. Pre-Coach and Tami's influence at Dillon High, I think it's plausible that him being held back a grade would not have disqualified him from playing. (Also, the rally girls did his homework.) I imagine the grade(s) Tim got held back were more likely in elementary and middle school; around the time his dad left. Billy tells us in early Season 1 that their dad left (mom already out of the picture) Christmas 2001. So Tim presumably would have had some major issues around the age of 11-12 (and before--have you met Walt Riggins?), and could have been held back in sixth or seventh grade.

Now, Lyla. What's interesting is that Lyla's birthday is around the same time as Jason's, because in early season one (right before she and Tim first connect), she spends her birthday in the hospital with Jason, also about 1-2 games into the season. At this point, we can presume Lyla starts off at 16 and turns 17 shortly into Season 1.

Lyla, unlike Tim, is a straight-A student (Tami confirms this in the early episodes of Season 1). So why does Lyla--presumably a junior in Season 1 and a senior in Season 2--graduate in Season 3 with Tim? Here's my head-canon in three cringe-y words: Christ Teen Messengers. While Lyla is present in the halls of Dillon High in Season 2, there's a throwaway comment about her extracurriculars when Tami asks her to help with Pantherama. She's too busy because of Christ Teen Messengers, specifically. Between her work with juvenile detention center, the fact that she goes down to Mexico in the middle of the school week for a few days as well as the boys, and her general disinterest in academics throughout Season 2 (she has time for a radio show, though!), I like to think she took a sort of "gap-year" where she did minimal credits/maybe deferred graduating for this quasi-"internship" experience. I don't really know if such a thing exists, but if it did, would it not be soooo Lyla to take advantage of it? That way she can recalibrate her life but not cancel out her chances at college completely. Thus, while she's never been held back a year for academic problems, she ends up deferring her senior year to Season 3.

In terms of ages, this gives us the following:

Season 1: Jason (17/immediately turns 18), Lyla (16/immediately turns 17), Tim (16/turns 17 at the end of the season), Smash (17). Idk I enjoy Tim being the oversized baby of the group, but they're all within less than a year and a half of each other, age-wise.

Season 2: Jason (18/immediately turns 19), Lyla (17/immediately turns 18), Tim (17), Smash (18)

Season 3: Jason (20), Lyla (19), Tim (18/19)

Season 4: Lyla (20), Tim (19/20)

Season 5: Jason (22 on his visit to Dillon), Tim (21 when he gets out of jail)

[Don't worry we'll get to Tyra.]

Matt/Julie/Landry

In Season 1, Matt, Landry, and Julie are implied to be sophomores (Julie because Tami refers to her, at one point, as a sophomore). But then Julie and Landry both stay a year longer than Matt, who graduates on time.

Full disclosure that I care less about Landry and Julie than other characters, so their graduating in season 4/early season 5 makes no mark on my spirit. However, I think given the fact that they are (presented as) academic achievers, it might make sense that they were taking some AP classes at various points and that is why Landry is out here tutoring people and Julie is referred to as a sophomore. It would also explain why the classes (such as the English class where Waverly and Smash debate The Odyssey) are mixed-age. Now, Landry is driving in Season 1, but if he was a 15-year-old freshman--not impossible--he could have been driving. Matt is actually plausibly older, since he had previously wrecked a car (not that everyone in Dillon, especially a parentified teen, should be assumed to be abiding by driving laws). If Matt is a sophomore in Season 1, he' s a senior in Season 3, which checks out. He is stated to be 16 in Season 1, but that could be a rough estimate--presume he's about a year younger than Tim, as opposed to about to turn 17.

If Landry and Julie are freshmen in Season 1, it's plausible (if not likely) that despite their "super smarts" (lol) they graduate last after a year at East Dillon.

So, for ages:

Season 1: Matt (15/turning 16), Landry (15), Julie (15)

Season 2: Matt (16/turning 17), Landry (16), Julie (16)

Etc.

Tyra

Tyra is in many ways the most ambiguous case, but I actually think that she is in the same boat as Tim. We know her grades are bad to start with, and that (pre-Season 1) she has several run-ins with the law as well as failed classes. Season 1 Tyra has "held back a year... or two..." all over her. For this reason, I expect that when she starts putting in the work in Season 1, she's in her sophomore year--thus (unfortunately for her), she's not too far apart from Landry in terms of classwork for him to be able to assist her. Then she continues on the straight and narrow reasonably enough to graduate in Season 3 with Tim, Lyla, and Matt.

As for Tyra's birthday...she seems like a June baby to me, but maybe I'm just biased. I think it's fairer to say that she is Tim's age rather than Lyla's. She might be a little younger than Tim--maybe a January birthday instead of his late fall/early winter one. So... Tyra is 16 (and a half) in Season 1, 17 (and a half) in Season 2, 18 (and a half) in Season 3, and about to turn 21 in Season 5.

[jilychallenge]

Back To School

It's almost September!! Like last year this year's jilychallenge theme will be Back To School.

Like last year we will give each pair a prompt that has something to do with going back to school (finding those right quills but you took the last one in the shop?) & Hogwarts locations (the Kitchens & a song lyric) Each pair of creators will receive a prompt from us to spark your ideas. You create your own work, (although collabs are always fun!) You are always free to use and interpret your prompt as loosely as you want.

NB: There won't be a jilychallenge in October, because of @jilytoberfest (make sure you follow them and check out the amazing plans they have for this year's Jilytober!)

how to enter:

please reblog this post by the 31 of August tagging with what you'd like to make (for example #one-shot, #writing, #art, #drawing, #mood board, #playlist etc. You can be as vague as or specific as you like)

At the beginning of the month, we will assign you a partner and you will receive your prompt (here or on JilyChallenge Discord). Keep an eye on this blog or Discord and please check your messages on Tumblr.

(optional) please follow the jilychallenge Tumblrblog and @jilychallenge2023 for updates.

(optional) join the Jily Challenge on Discord (send an ask for an invite) for beta help, chatting, whining about the process ;-) and mental support.

when posting: 

creators should try to post their entries by the end of the month (What to do when you miss the deadline?)

please tag your partner and the jilychallenge in your post (including the theme and your prompt, if possible)

we will reblog all entries tagged #jilychallenge

if you post your art or story on ao3, please add it to the collection of Jily Challenges 2023

If you have any questions at all, don't hesitate to send us a message or ask! If you have an idea for a theme for an upcoming month we'd love to hear it!

[jungwnies]

hi maeby! its been a while, im sorry this took too long and I don’t know exactly when you’ll see this but know that i’m writing this on december 16 for reference hehe (this will essentially be a 2023 recap but ill try to be as short as possible)

last time i was here i think it was the end of june or beginnings of july and a lot has happened in my life, on august i turned 21 and i also went to the eras tour!! definitely one of the best days ever in my life and maybe top 3 on best days of 2023  🤍

talking about my birthday its little sensitive topic, for the past five years or so my birthdays has kind of been something that I’ve dreaded so much and i'm just the opposite of happy, its like those posts you see everywhere of people crying in their room during their birthdays and this year wasn’t  the exception, this years birthday..lets just say it will be memorable but leaving that aside august was kind of okay

the concert experience may be on of my favorite memories just because it feel so cathartic, it was just so beautiful talking to strangers and us bonding over music and art, listening and singing to my favorite songs, getting to go to a concert for the first time on my own, traveling with my sister (just the two of us) for the first time, all the beautiful pictures and videos and people that i keep with me because of that one experience it just something that I will eternally be grateful for (also, so. many. friendship. bracelets.)

i remember looking back at my life and my lowest points in it and thinking (and hopefully it won’t get too sad) “well maybe someone out there was right, i just needed to hang on a little tighter, cause imagine missing out on this” 

september was filled with delicious food and me going out a little more often

in october was my sisters birthday, so she held a halloween costume party and i got to dress up as an elf/fairy, i also went to one of my best friends birthday party and felt amazing seeing a couple of familiar faces after months, and some of them even years, waiting. also yes, this means i ate a lot of cake on october (my moms birthday was also on this month hah). i also took a ceramic class. i loved it (I made a small bowl :))

november i went out a lot, bought new clothes, bought christmas decorations, studied korean, went to the doctor cause i thought i was going to die (turns out im not, even far from it : im as healthy as a horse) 

and as of december, planning christmas dinner with my mom and sister, got a bad haircut that made me cry so hard and then got it fixed at another salon, had dates with friends, retook ceramic classes (i made two cups, three heart shaped plates and a little jewelry organizer), scheduled one more therapy session before the year ends after months of not going, took more buses this month than in my whole life and i guess im slowly figuring out my stuff a little more. 

i discovered new artists this year, feel in love again  with old ones that I had forgotten about, learned new cooking recipes, got a little more out of the house than last year, made amends with my body and established boundaries even though it hurt :)

turning 21 this year essentially meant a lot, i don’t want to go into more detailed as to not make this any longer but lets just say im planning on getting 21 tattooed on my next year haha

i hope the rest of the year was kind to you, if you feel comfortable to answer with maybe your favorite parts of 2023 would be great! if not just know that i love you and missed dropping by here, hopefully starting 2024 i'll be back here regularly <3<3

take care, stretch, rest all you need, take your time, and remember that im always right here rooting for you and hugging you 🩶🩶🩶

happy holidays :) love youuuuu

-🧸anon

hiii 🧸anon <3

it has been literally so long, i was taking a break from tumblr, honestly i didn't even think i'd come back but seeing this upon logging in literally brought joy to my heart knowing you're still around! :)

i've read everything, from your birthday to your christmas dinner with your mom and sister. starting with your birthday i'm glad that 2023 you had a memorable birthday after dreading it for so many years, and i hope 2024 also brings you joy! onto the concert next, i know exactly how you feel, it's something that you don't feel often and the crowds are just so amazing because it's people who share the same love for the same artist, and it's like you are in your own little world for a few hours. next, september & october, i'm glad it was filled with food and another birthday, it seems so fun to have a halloween themed birthday honestly!! november, i'm glad it was a good month besides the scary doctors visit >.< december seemed to have been a busy month for you, and hopefully your hair is okay now :( hopefully the therapy sesh went well. I'm glad your year was overall not too shabby, and I'm glad that you had a lot of character development. Hopefully 2024 brings you absolutely nothing but joy! 🖤

now onto my year, i guess i'll go with the highlights. i essentially had a relatively good year, i was able to do a lot of things, and uni was not too stressful, but it's a little harder this semester. starting with my august, i didn't do much except get ready for the semester, signed up for my september classes etc etc, it was relatively boring. my september was a little more eventful, i took a marine biology class which was so fun, and i'm not even majoring in marine bio, we got to talk about sea legends and a lot of the lore behind mermaids and other stuff. in october i did the same thing, but i made one of my best friends ever, except uhhh we're not really friends anymore as of recently, but my heart goes to them, they meant alot. in november i built a new computer, a little nerdy but i actually really enjoyed it except i had a mental breakdown trying to do cable management LMFAO 😭😭in december i had a good month, except the basement flooded so that wasn't very slay but regardless it was a good month filled with nothing but holiday spirit and gifts.

now with a short little update on my 2024, because it's been awhile. in january i went back to school for the second semester, and it's been tough i'm not going to lie. i also got a boyfriend so like !?!??! kinda crazy, he's not too bad but like every relationship we definitely have our downs. in february, it was a short month but nonetheless eventful this is the downfall of me and bestie tbh, but it's okay he was like a life lesson or something!?!?! now this month, it just started and it's been great, it's midterm week right now so i'm a bit stressed, but i also suddenly got motivation to go back on youtube and write on tumblr again, so i'm super happy about that :)

i hope 2024 is kind to you and gives you a lot of joy! remember to take care of yourself, just as you always say to me, stretch, rest all you need, take your time, and remember that im always right here rooting for you and hugging you as well! ❤️❤️❤️

have a great year, and i hope to see you again 🧸❤️

[nszypher]

I have a story to tell, and it's not exactly a fun one. More of a venting thing, if I'm honest. You don't have to read it. But I need to get my thoughts out and while I did a story thing on TikTok because it is most likely going to go away soon, something weird happened and it added music and I also just think I do better in text.

So here we go.

This is the story of a book cover and the freelance job I never should've agreed to take. It's a long one. I don't expect anyone to get through it.

For the record, I am not sharing the name of the author, nor the title of the book. And I'm going to do my best to keep things vague. A few people who might read this will know, but it is not about dragging the actual author through the mud. Or at least, not in a way anyone can use to figure out who they are and where.

Back in, I believe it was September, I was approached by a local author to design a cover for their upcoming book. I knew them vaguely through a social thing my mom and I both go to off and on. To be honest, I didn't know this person well, but they seemed an alright sort. Mom also didn't seem to have an issue with them. So even though I was busy and hella stressed from my job, and I was mentally going through a really rough patch, I agreed to at least meet with her and feel it out.

The meeting was fine. Pleasant, even. They told me about the book, and some about the previous two books. They said broad strokes of the plot so I could make a cover that suited the book overall. We also talked about just writing in general, as I do a bit of it myself, our backgrounds and stuff like that. As you do.

I question now a lot of what they told me. Either they are lying, or stretching the truth to make themselves sound more than they are. It is possible that they truly did all they said, but if so, I think they were likely very poor at most of these jobs.

For example. They say they were a hospital chaplin for a time. They are one of the least empathetic people I've met in a while.

They claim they know Photoshop and was an editor at some newspaper somewhere. I realize tech changes, but they can't even figure out Google Drive.

They are older. I get that. But they can't even keep their age straight. They told my mom they were turning 80 this past birthday (which was some time between September and December), but told me at the meeting they were 84. And if they were so sharp, as they claimed, they would have better reading comprehension, but half the time, barely even seemed to understand basic, simple words.

More on that later.

So things rocked along. I didn't get to work on it right away. Things were busy. And everytime I tried to even think about it, I had a lot of anxiety over it. I don't have a lot of free time, and agreeing to this felt like a mistake, even at this point.

I should've listened.

I finally leveled with them and asked for a deadline. Deadlines help me focus and force me to buckle down and get shit done. And they gave me one. I think it was on or around the beginning of November, maybe the end of October. The date doesn't matter to me now because after work one day, I took my laptop to the library, say down, and got the bulk of it done in one sitting. Using a template created by Amazon's self publishing service (which is what they were using), I got started. By the time I left that night, I had a cover, a spine knowing I would have to modify it later more than likely, and a back designed without text. All I needed was whatever text they wanted for the back so I could put that on and then it would be finished.

I sent it to them for approval and they loved it instantly. And that's also kind of where the trouble started in earnest.

They proceeded to send me three or four different versions of two different blocks of text over the course of a week or so. I say two different blocks because for some reason, they had it in their head that they should put a bio on the back, pic and all. They got some advice when they started they should, and it's bad advice in my opinion. Mom and I tried to help them see that space could be better utilized, and that no modern author outside of non fiction and maybe something like historical fiction does that in the modern age. Nor do they need to.

To be clear, I am not opposed to an author's bio in a book. But there is a place for it. On the back cover of a paperback is not it. They also put their email on there. I doubt that they get any emails from that. They've only sold a handful of books anyway.

But whatever. At the end of the day, doesn't matter what I think. We were trying to help, but they didn't care and just wanted a bio, likely to stroke their own ego. They seem to have this deep desire to be someone and be noticed and fawned over. I feel a bio on the back like that is just a self congratulatory wank off, but what do I know?

I'm not any kind of published. And that seems to be part of the problem with this person.

Anyway, months go by. I hear nothing. Not a big deal really. They're still writing. My mom agreed to help proof read and edit, and that process is still going on so there's really not much for me to do anyway. October comes and goes. Then November. Then at some point, it becomes December. And I have heard nothing at all from them.

Oh, and we missed their first deadline by this point. I don't remember exactly what it was, but I feel like they originally wanted it done and printed by sometime in mid November.

Meanwhile, mom is editing and kind of fighting with the author on edits and changes. That process is not going well, at least not on our end. My mom is very good at grammar rules. Overall. There are a few literary things she didn't know, and I confirmed what I could, but otherwise, she's stellar. She edited all my papers in college and I rarely, if ever, had a mistake. And mom tells me that this author makes huge, glaring errors. Some are big grammar issues. Some are incorrect phrases used in narrative, not speech. And some are story confusion, as in calling someone the incorrect name. Which is wild to me. You made up these characters. You should at least be able to keep up with who is who. And the editing takes a while because the author is adding stuff after mom read a lot, if not all.

Things kind of come to a head around December 5th. Mom went with the author to a book signing that weekend, after helping prep for it the Friday before. And then Mom also had a Christmas cantata thing Sunday, and all three of these things took most of their respective days. She told the author that she does still want to give it all a another look, but wouldn't be able to finish it until Monday. So she asked the author to hold off sending it to the formatter until then.

The author sent it to the formatter on Sunday, while mom was rehearsing for the Cantada. And then when mom got kind of mad about that, she was hit with "Well, we could dink with it forever and never get it perfect and I just want to be done with it." Which is just... Crazy to think about for me. Here my mom was, trying to make this the best it could be, and the author just decided that it was good enough and sent it to the formatter anyway.

Who, as it happens, apparently also proof reads. Doesn't edit, doesn't make story suggestions, just grammar ones. Which apparently is all the author wanted my mom to do anyway.

Begs the question of why didn't you just send it to the formatter anyway? Why even bring in my mom? No one knows.

Meanwhile, I still have heard nothing. Which is fine really. It's not my job to pester them for the resources. When they are done and ready, they'll send it along.

Except they then decided to bitch at my mom about me never responding to them. My mom immediately said that wasn't like me. Because it isn't. Even if I don't write a novel in every email, as I am very pragmatic when answering questions and stuff, I do respond. Hell, half my emails at work are just open word, "Done," because I've been asked to do something and that is the only thing that needs to be said. Mom then asked them what email they were sending things to, and never got a response. But less than a week later, around December 13th, suddenly I had text for the back.

We think they send it to the wrong email.

I wrote back and said I would put it on, that I still needed the page count verified, I still need a bio if they still wanted to do that, and that my mom had forwarded me the pic she indicated she wanted to use. The author sent me nothing more.

But whatever. So I plugged in the text and waited for the rest. A bit later, they emailed again, asking how things were going, and I told them that I was still waiting on a bio. They sent me yet another book summary, the bio, and the pic I already said I didn't need. And this summary was long. At least twice as long as the once sent earlier in December. I was at work at the time, so I sent an email back saying that I was at work and didn't have the file in front of me, but just eyeballing it, I didn't think it would fit.

I got back, word for word, "Fine. Do whatever works. Thanks."

I found out later that mom had also pushed back on something, so they were already pissy. But I took it, and I did it. I made a Google Drive folder, and inside, I put high quality, isolated versions of the front and back covers. And then two more folders labeled Kindle and Print, since according to my research, they are set up differently, and then put a large, high quality version of the complete cover, labeled as "Print," in one, and two versions of the Kindle, with and without spine, in the "Kindle" and sent her the link to the file.

They then sent back that the Kindle with spine looked a little small, and that I needed to make it bigger. They also cut down both text blocks because their editor said they should. I mean, so did I but guess my word isn't good enough. So I made the changes, re-uploaded, and sent back.

They still only looked at the smaller, eBook Kindle cover for print and still complained it was too small. So I bullet pointed them.

Kindle: [insert link here]

Print: [insert link here]

And sincerely thought we were done with it. A week or two more go by before they reach out once again to tell me it's still too small. Again. And screenshotted Google results saying what size the cover should be.

I know. I got a template. You're looking at the wrong one still. So I just sent them the big one for print. This would've been right before Christmas, if I recall. One of these is before Christmas anyway.

Now, they had set a book signing for the release of this new book January 25th. It would be tight, but still doable at this point. I also just state that I hadn't been paid yet by this point. I was holding off just in case something else came up.

And it did.

Around New Year's, something else came up. I don't remember anymore. This may have been the time I got the shortened text. But I was out of state visiting a friend and didn't take my laptop with me, so I told them as much, and that I would look at it when I got home. Did whatever, sent it off. I also realized at some point that they did not understand that "Kindle" meant "eBook." It is Kindle Direct Publishing, but Kindle itself is an eBook. But whatever. Should've figured out "Print" is for the printed, physical copy. But they clearly can't read anyway since they didn't respond to what I actually asked. Too busy stream of consciousness waxing poetic about inconsequential things and then thinking themselves clever.

And nearly a week later, another email, this time saying some error came up when they uploaded the cover, and while I asked two, maybe tree time what the error said, they my never told me. They said it wanted a PGN file and wasn't letting them do anything else. First, Amazon's own site says they accept JPEG, PNG, and likely something else I'm forgetting, someone if it didn't make sense, I made a PNG and sent onwards. When that didn't instantly fix the problem, they emailed back.

Instead of telling me the error like I asked more than once, they wanted me to log into their account and do it on their behalf, but couldn't remember the password and then put it on me to reset it for them. When that didn't pan out, they tried to get me to come over and walk them through uploading it to Amazon or do a Zoom call for that. Mind you, they had supposedly done this four times before. But then surprise, surprise. It came out that they never actually did it, that the other artists did it for them.

Here's the catch: I am not those other artists. And I had never done this kind of thing before. I wouldn't know anything more anyway. Could I have figured it out? Probably. Did I want to? Absolutely not.

So I refused. I said I wasn't tech support and this was more than I was comfortable with. Even though email, I could see they were getting huffy with me. But they told me fine, they'll figure it out, and to please send my invoice. Which I had to make on the fly. Because I don't do this stuff. Ever.

And then I had to pay a PayPal fee because they couldn't figure out how to find me in PayPal. But whatever. I just wanted to be done. Shortly after that, they got their daughter and son-in-law involved, and for the first time, I actually saw the error.

While I took into account bleed, I didn't realize that the software wouldn't recognize the size alone, and went by where there is white space for bleed. No matter. Easy fix. So I fixed when I got back home as I was out at the time.

Keep in mind this. We are now around January 10th. The book signing is in 15 days. Not 15 business days. 15 total days. And according to what my mom heard them say, it takes about 2 weeks to get the books printed. And I imagine that's not including holidays. So really, it's probably more than likely 10 to 14 business days. And that's assuming nothing else happens. So already, while they are still claiming they will make it, the writing is on the walls.

Cue drum and cymbal sting.

And then, January 16th, they email me. Again. Saying there is some issue with the price location or something. At least that's what I kind of gleamed through the drivel of the email. And they said they had reached out to the person who did the other four covers of her book in hopes they could fix it. And it not, they said they would be forced to go to a genetic cover.

Now, my understanding from the first meeting, and what they said after, is that the other people weren't an option for one reason or another. They couldn't find people to do stuff for them.

Can't imagine why.

They had expressed, too, that they didn't like the previous covers much, and that for the second book in this asinine series, they actually were forced to do it themselves.

I'm not sure which part of this is true and which is a lie anymore. But based on what I've seen, I do not believe for a second that the author made anything relating to any cover.

I was in the middle of composing an email saying sure, that I would send over a PSD file for whoever to mess with. But before I could do that, I got another email from the author with the email of a new person and asking me to give them the file. Because even though it was unspoken, the implication is either "I'm too lazy," "I'm too important," or "I'm too stupid," to do it themselves. I think it's a bit of all. But the author also included the response from the "fixer," we'll call them, and that really pissed me off.

The fixer started, right off the bat, with "This is why you should work only with people who know what they're doing," and goes on to basically slag me off, and then say that they need a PSD and why. This person, who knows nothing about me, just assumed I knew nothing. Now, granted, I have never done a book cover before, a fact I have been upfront about since the beginning. And I haven't done much graphic design since 2013. But I got an Amazon template. It should've worked. I don't know why it didn't. If I had been given codes, maybe had I actually gotten into the account, I probably could've fixed it myself. But nope. Just insult me, even if you didn't realize that the author is too lazy and callous to consider that maybe you shouldn't send the whole email since that was a shitty thing to say.

But sure. Go off I guess. Cleaned up the layers. Grouped stuff together. Labeled them. Uploaded the PSD file and a TrueType file for some of the text, and sent it off to the fixer, saying that I was offering to send the author the PSD but this was better and blah blah blah. It was easier, to be sure. But I don't even want to talk to the fixer after I got put down by them.

And here's the kicker. A couple of kickers even. The author just now acknowledged that they would not make the January 25th signing. Which I predicted. But they apparently got a printed, proof copy. And then said the cover was rejected. By who, my dude? Amazon? Because they seemed to print the one just fine. You? Maybe?

And the worst part is if it was an issue with the barcode, just not having the useless bio would've fixed the issue right away. If that shit wasn't down there, there would be no problem with the pricing or barcode or whatever. But because you need everyone to know you are important, you did it anyway. And here's we are.

The only consolation I have from this is that my mom, who has read this book three times now, has told me that it's not good. Not bad, but not good. Mediocre at best. And she said that I was writing better in late high school and early college. My mom doesn't just say nice things. You gotta earn them. But this author wants to be so much more than they are. They seem to want to be so important and to write the next great American novel while they can barely string a coherent thought together.

I can tell because every email I have ever gotten from them includes at least one paragraph of something she did that day in the most long-winded form possible. I know this post is long too, and it may seem like the pot calling the kettle black, but trust me, if the author was trying to retell their side of things, it would be twice as long. They think they are so important and have so much to say.

For fuck's sake, they even put pretentious book club questions in the back, but because the story is so shallow, so are those questions. They are more like what you would ask an elementary school kid. And moreover, they claim it's a book for all ages whole having graphic, or at least semigraphic, scenes in it, some involving sex or sex discussion, some involving murder. It is not for all ages. But because of the setting and time period and overall feel, younger people wouldn't be interested. And because of the simplicity, older people likely wouldn't be interested either. Maybe the real old people who lived in this very specific version of America might be interested, but then it is unrealistic, not like what they likely grew up in at all. So these are kind of books without a real audience. And I'm sure that's part of why they don't sell well.

They claim they aren't out to make money and that they just want to get their stories out there. And initially, I understood that sentiment. But I see now it is fuel for the ego more than it is a true artistic endeavor. I would almost rather them be in it for the money.

And they can't even recognize when people are actually trying to help. Mom pushed back on stuff while editing, not to have her way but to make it better. Mom took time out of her life to help this person set up book signings, a Google Drive (that they still can't use correctly, by the way), and who knows what else in addition to the editing. I pushed back on some cover things because I knew what worked and what didn't, what would look good and in place with modern books and what would make it stick out as an amateur attempt.

I'm not saying mine was the most professional. Of course it wasn't. But I think it looked damn good. And so did everyone else who saw it.

But rather than listen to us, the people closest to the situation who were truly attempting to help, they would rather listen to people they believe are smart and intelligent and more worthy of time and praise. Heck, their daughter and son-in-law took one weekend, maybe, to help. And who knows what else they might've done, briefly, in the week following, but the author sang their praises about how they took time out of their busy schedule to help them and that their job is so important and it was such a blessing and all that junk. Nevermind all the work my mom did. For fucking free. Moreover, I have a full time job myself. I gave up time to do things that I wanted to do for this. And for what? So I could be belittled?

The author would rather surround themself with yes people than actually listen to anyone trying to help. Praise is welcome and criticism means you hate them. How childish. And then they only acknowledge those who fawn over them. My mom told me about how at one signing she went to help with, one of the author's "mentors" did nothing but sit there and praise them, and the author was just eating it up. Personally, I hate this kind of thing. I want you to tell me if it is good, yes, but I also want you to tell me if it is bad. I want the truth so I can improve. Keep what works. Change what doesn't. But this tells me that this author actually has no interest in improving. They want to just be good. Instantly.

That's not how things work.

The other thing that rankles me now is back when they were trying to get me to play IT, they did this weird thing where they clearly were fishing for a compliment and then also trying to manipulate me into compliance. The email included both the author saying "You may not know this, but some people are intimidated by my intelligence." I have a hard time believing that but whatever let's you sleep at night I guess. And then immediately followed it up with "I'm intimidated by your intelligence."

Okay. Great. I'm big and scary and I'm still not going to do your job for you. That actually had the opposite effect on me and just made me roll my eyes and mock it behind closed doors. What's more, truly intelligent people do not need to scream off the roof tops that they are intelligent. Thou doth protest too much. If you have to constantly remind people of your intelligence, you are likely both insecure and not that intelligent. I will say that I do feel I am of decent intelligence, maybe a bit above average. But I also let it speak for itself through my words and actions. I don't need people to fan my ego by blowing smoke up my ass.

This author, though, betrayed their own statements time and time again. They couldn't grasp the concept of rape, masturbation, murder and more as not being for someone younger than like... 15. minimum. They constantly got phrases wrong. They didn't understand the concept of Print vs. literally anything else. My mom also mentioned they frequently mixed up names, got well-known phrases wrong, and couldn't even keep the timeline straight. As in this book is the third in a series. The main character, or one of them, I don't know, is said to be about 9 or 10 maybe in the first book, and is set in 1956 ish. Mom never was clear on the actual date. The second and third book, despite happening consecutively, both manage to happen in 1959-1960. If you are doing the math, that should make the character 13 in the second at least, giving some grace and leaning into him being 10. Except he is explicitly stated to be 15 at some point in the second, and has his 16th during. That math doesn't math. I question your cognitive abilities if you can't even keep something as simple as the age correct.

Now, I will say that I understand some of the tech issues is exposure. I grew up with tech changing. A lot. I saw the transition from huge clunky laptops that weighed 50 pounds and barely did word processing to a computer ten times as powerful in my pocket. I'm actually typing this on my phone right now. So my mental agility for this sort of thing is, admittedly, higher on virtue of that, and my age, and the fact that I have a moderately decent and regular sleep schedule, something this author has admitted to not having more than once. But when you join a book club, and then refuse to read the book chosen, that's a problem. To be a good author, you need to read. But based on the correspondence I experienced with this person, they can't even fully comprehend one paragraph.

I will acknowledge my part in this, as I feel it is only right. I could've possibly done more. Maybe if I had bent over backwards, and done more than I agreed to do initially, then this could've ended differently. We did not have a written contract, by the way. No formal agreement other than words. I didn't think of it and didn't think it would be needed. I don't know if I'm in the wrong for refusing to try and get it uploaded. But then, I also never billed myself as a professional graphic designer. I got a degree. I worked as one for a year and a half (give or take a bit). And I haven't done anything formal since. And in that job, I did many things, but never a book cover. However, that said, I used templates all the time. And I never once had anything rejected for incorrect formatting or anything of the sort. I can, and did, correctly use a template. How dare someone who knows nothing about me demean me behind my back? But I also acknowledge that the email from the fixer that I saw was never meant to make it to me, and the fact that it did pisses me off.

I did have a little vindication from mom today, who talked to some people who knows the author, and has seen, from their perspective, a bit of what's going on. As in, they knew the author had a book coming out eventually, they knew I had done the cover and said it was good, and that's it. When they heard from my mom how I was treated, they were appalled, and all agreed I did what I was paid to do. And none felt I should've also played IT, and all agreed what was said about me was out of line and should've never been sent to me. At least people who know us both will know that I am not the failure I will likely be portrayed as.

I will not know what they say in the future about any of this. I got paid. I removed them from all my social media. That bridge has been burned to ash, straight into the ground. I want nothing more to do with the author or this book. My time and effort would've been better spent writing my own shit. And I am. And it's better than that drivel. But I have no doubt that I will no longer be attached to the cover design. I'm sure the author will attribute it to the fixer even though I doubt there was much, if anything, for the fixer to even do. I don't know. I won't know. And I do not care. I am sure I will be bad mouthed, lambasted, and spoken poorly of while the fixer will be talked about as though they are the savior of the book.

Good. Fucking have it.

I'm finally almost done. I really doubt anyone made it this far, but if you did, thanks for reading my rambling. I'll wrap it up.

In short, the TLDR, is this was the most miserable work experience I've ever had, and I worked at a pet store cleaning diarrhea dog cages every Saturday morning for six months when I was a teen. I never should've accepted this, but I got paid. So whatever. She supposedly loved it, and I kind of hope she can't use the cover anymore. I know it is fixable, salvageable, but a petty part of me hopes it isn't.

And even if it is, I hope it is the most expensive book cover they've ever had. Because I didn't work for free and I'm sure the fixer won't either.

Fuck the author.

Fuck the book.

Go rot.

[transparentgames]

Hi, everyone!

Welcome to the Saintess of the Golden Bow August 2024 development update.

This our first update, and we're excited to share our progress on the game,  info on our studio, and more!

Currently, our team is working on the Polished Short Demo and the Extended Demo for the game.

What is the Polished Short Demo (Build 1.01)?

At the end of June 2024 we released the Saintess of the Golden Bow Short Demo (build 1.0). The demo was missing a few art pieces and some voice acting. We're excited to share that we're on track to finish the polished version of the short demo for an early September release.

The Polished Short Demo (September release, Build 1.01) will have the exact same text as the previously released Build 1.0 but will also feature:

The Empress Sprite

Duke George's Sprite

Duke George's first CG where he helps Celeste use the proper salad fork at the ball

Voice acting for Duke George, Celeste and Penelope for that CG

Currently we’ve finished the Empress Sprite and Duke Geroge's Sprite and would like to share art of both characters. The Duke George CG and voice acting will be completed this month.

Why is Duke George getting a CG and what are the plans for Saintess going forward?

The Polished Short Demo (Build 1.01) is the last free build until January 2025 when the Extended Demo will be released.

The Extended Demo will feature:

4-5 hours of gameplay depending on reading speed (that's 3-4 more hours than what we currently have) - the whole Common Route

4 more voice-acted CGs

Sprites for the whole main cast

The Extended Demo will be split into parts and released between October to December on Patreon. Then there will be a public release of an Extended Demo Build in January 2025. We're currently planning a Kickstarter for Spring 2025. In the meantime, we will continue developing the game using funds from our director Anna so that we can be almost done with the first route by the beginning of the kickstarter. The routes will also be released in builds on Patreon after the Extended Demo release, starting with Noah's Route. Once the full game is complete, we will pack it into one build and release it on Steam.

These Development Updates will continue to be free, with additional previews available on Patreon.

Additionally there will be short stories with beautiful extra illustrations released on Patreon starting September 2024.

As for Duke George, we're planning a DLC route for him, funded via a stretch goal on Kickstarter. So if Duke George has won your heart, rest assured that you will be able to romance him as well. His route will be developed and released after the full game’s other routes (Common, Noah, Elijah, Levi) have been completed.

What is the team working on next?

Since we're only missing one CG and some voice acting for next month's release, the team is already working on finalizing the Extended Demo. 

We have three sprites in progress that are needed to complete all expected artwork for the demo. The CGs are finished. Voice Acting for the CGs is in progress. The Extended Demo is fully written, edited and programmed (Anna will only have to go back to add the missing assets).

Here are some snippets from the Extended Demo - more art updates will come over the following months:

Since the Extended Demo script is complete, Anna is currently working on finalizing the outlines for the love interest routes. The plan is to start by writing the Noah route, which already has a completed outline, this month.

Team Updates

In July 2024 the team took a week-long break from development, which helped us refresh after completing the Short Demo. You've seen us posting less on socials - we've been focusing more on development and rest, but we will be returning to active engagement with the game and our audience very soon.

We hope to get the graphics for the Kickstarter page and the Steam page up as quickly as possible.

We're excited that in September and October two new permanent members will be joining the art team - Julia in September and Ola in October. Their presence should speed up development as well.

Thank you for tuning in for this update.

Be sure to check out the next month's development update and the Polished Short Demo as well.

You can download Saintess of the Golden Bow here:

Best,

Transparent Games Team

[kyodentporc]

Hey unsure of where I wanted to post this but I wanted to do an update thing and to announce a couple of big things!

So I've been doing personal stuff at the moment, getting the whole house rearranged currently, and my room is the part I've been getting at for a while, I've also been recently taking good care of myself, finding myself and ensuring the best for me and both my physical and mental health. Once everything finally comes together and everything is in motion, I have 2 BIG things, 2 BIG projects that I have been working on. 1. Somewhere around September/October(i don't remember much) is where my friend @mooniestarrcat introduced me to the comic series that I've been enjoying reading a lot titled 'Sparklecare'. It only took a bit for me to ultimately decide the perfect way for me to share my appreciation for the series: Create a fan project of course. What was initially going to be a game, will currently be kept as a comic for the time being, as I'm still a MASSIVE rookie when it comes to gamedev, but as my gamedev skills improve enough, and people are interested, that is where I create the game version of it. Keep in mind the comic and game will be written a little bit differently, also my friend Moonie will help me with it too! 2. I don't know if people here on tumblr who are more than likely from the Sparklecare community know about my music, but on October 13th, 2023, I released my Nu Metal EP over on Bandcamp, which got only a little bit of traction that year, but regardless, I was real proud of it for it's time, even the self-proclaimed CEO of Nu Metal. Holiday Kirk gave my 4th song 'Necessity' praise!

Well good news for everyone who enjoyed my EP and people who still enjoy listening to my music, I am working on a whole ALBUM! YEP! that's right, a whole album. But it's not just your average joe album, it's one that I deeply connect with, one that has been healing me pretty well, and my main goal with this album is to share it with all of you and hopefully heal you too in some way. Right now I'm working on a demo which will be an EP with 5 tracks with two possible covers(will not guarantee on that) on Bandcamp, but after that and I'm done creating and mixing the tracks, I will release the official album that will have a total of 9 tracks(10 if you count the intro) not only on Bandcamp, but I'll see if I can get it on Spotify and YT Music too using a distributor, I might see if Distrokid is worth it! EDIT: I lied. I don't have an official setlist of tracks for both. Speaking on both of these HUGE projects, with the album released will be an end of an era for me, and the beginning of a new and improved one. However, despite me working on the Sparklecare fan-series before this era of mine ends will NOT mean that I'll stop working on it, both of these projects are an absolute passion of mine and it means a LOT to me, after all. Thank you to friends, family, everyone, even the Nu Metal CEO, for giving me that motivation and hope needed to finally bring me where I want to be, just like in my 4th song, 'Necessity'! Wish me luck, fellas! I've got a couple BIG things to do! Over and out, -

[links-hella-fine-booty]

2023

Holy shit. This year had to have been the most eventful year of my life and that's saying something.

Beginning of last year, Gavin and I were struggling to do whatever we could to find an apartment. Well, come February, we did. We finally were able to cross the biggest gap in our lives and relationship. I packed my stuff and suddenly, I was with him and living in Texas. My 28th birthday came and I got to spend it with friends. I haven't spent a birthday with a friend in so long. It felt wonderful to have people that wanted to be around me.

April came around and another one of my biggest dreams came true. I finally got my first puppy. Bliz has been a name for a dog I wanted for years and now he's my precious baby. I love my dog so much. He might be a little special needs as I've come to discover, but he's perfect and I know that fate brought my Bliz and I together. AND along with April, I got my beautiful, gorgeous, handsome, cunty, stunning, sweet, passionate, loving new pookie Niran. He literally brought me back to Overewatch single handedly and I love him. Fell for that man harder than any other fictional man ever. I want him carnally fr.

May was lovely and just as exciting. Not only did we once again have a wonderful time with friends for Gavin's birthday, but we got a new baby as well. Toast and Bliz actually got along and she was our kitten. Sly little thing she is, but I can't imagine life without her. Never was a cat person but I suppose she really changed me. I love my fatass little cat.

June was, hard. While being so excited to see Mexico for the first time ever in the following month, my dad ended up in the hospital. Just after Father's day. Quite possibly the scariest thing my family has ever had to go through. Weeks of nothing but worry and stress. He pulled through, but he will never be how he used to be. He's mostly in a wheelchair and can no longer walk on his own. I miss my father. I miss him so much. I took for granted all the times we went to the grocery store and taking him to the bank. I know everyone says it, but do not take time for granted. It really can be gone in an instant. I am happy to say my dad is okay. Him making it to his 81st birthday and to the New Year, means everything. I want nothing but comfort for him this upcoming year, and for my mom and sister to take it easy too. We all love him.

July, was wonderful. I got to go to Mexico with Gavin's family. They showed me nothing but kindness and caring the whole time. Mexico was beautiful and I want to go back. I have to get my passport updated but hey I will. After Mexico, it was back home to NJ. Being back home felt so right and I wish Gavin and I could move over there, but it's not in the cards right now. But! I enjoyed a great time seeing my dad and going to the Jersey Shore. Time with my mom, sister, and dad pretty much recharged me. Stayed about two weeks longer than intended but I know in the long run I needed that.

August. God. August. It started out great. We were back home and Gavin was ready for his appointment to start T. Both of us were so happy that he could finally start his journey. We went, he got it, life felt so good. However, it seemed like Gavin and I couldn't catch a break and life decided, "yeah, throw them in a car accident." Gavin's car was towed and we were in horrible pain. My stomach was so bruised I couldn't bend down and Gavin could barely use his hands. A whole week of stress and anxiety over what to do now that we didn't have a car. Thankfully his parents were once again, so kind, caring, and understanding that we were able to get a new car. His name is Ramram and he's kept us safe which is all we could ask for.

September wasn't so bad other than learning two of our friends, weren't the people we thought they were. October was pretty okay which was nice. Throughout these months it was mostly financial stress which we still have but the hell am I supposed to do about it at this point.

November. I usually hate November. Halloween is gone and done and I don't really care too much about Thanksgiving. But I suppose Gavin changed that. After weeks of severe depression and anxiety, crying every day, it all stopped. He proposed. He had gotten me the most beautiful ring. Goth and elegant. With one question, everything melted away and I haven't cried a sorrow tear since.

Now that it's December, I realize just how many things happened and how things still are happening. My family and family's friends accept my engagement and are excited for me. They are happy. I'm planning a wedding. I made it far enough in life that I am getting married. I'm getting married next October. I'm still tearing up as I write this because 19 year old Lauren didn't think she'd make it to 20, let alone 27. I'm getting married. It's incredible. Other than being in a dream like state from that, of course I had to get a whole ass addiction to Baulder's Gate 3. Perhaps it's not the traditional dnd experience but I can't say I don't love it. I now get to have some fictional men be here without me needing them. I get to have Astarion and Halsin and Gale at my happiest. That's, so different than all of the ones before them, Niran included. It almost doesn't feel real.

2023 was something else. 2024 is going to be wonderful. I am soon going back to NJ to plan where to have our wedding. Gavin and I will have our first anniversary and Valentine's day together too! I get to go back to NJ a few more times for wedding plans and vacation and then the wedding. My biggest hope for 2024, is that Gavin and I can start a process to start my dream.

I want to be a mother. I wanted to be a mother since as long as I can remember. If I can just start this journey into being a mother, everything up until that point will have been worth it. Every moment of stress, pain, tears, and more. I hope sometime next year I can make a post saying we've succeeded. I know the process won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Happy New Year everyone. I made it through this year. I can make it through next year, and you can too.

[thebuckblogimo]

For me, this is when "the '60s" started.

October 23, 2023

Since we roomed together as freshmen in college almost 60 years ago, my buddy Eric and I have shared numerous letters and e-mails. Over the last few years we have compared personal insights into our early years at MSU. Recently he caused me to reflect on the subject of "when everything changed" on campus. I thought you might enjoy my reply to him. Here is my communication, edited slightly for the blogosphere:

Eric, My Boy...

Two years ago you asked me what kind of thought process brought me to Abbot Hall as a freshman in 1965. Then, a couple weeks ago, you e-mailed a reference to what life was like on campus during that first year at MSU. It struck a chord, inspiring me to reminisce about the zeitgeist of those times. So buckle up as I unload. Some of this stuff you've heard before. Some of it you may not be aware of:

A month prior to the move from my East Dearborn neighborhood to East Lansing, some of my closest friends--Tony, Garry, Larry and Vince--had already begun their freshman years in late August at Western Michigan and U-M, schools that were on the trimester system. Other close friends--Joe, Butch, Keller, Bernie, the "Bear," etc.--probably hadn't thought seriously about what they would do after high school. Within a year they were all either drafted into the service, enlisted, or joined the reserves due to the escalation of the War in Vietnam.

MSU was on the quarter system back then. I would be moving into Abbott Hall at the end of September--on my own, without anyone from my considerable childhood "support group." For the first time since going to camp, I was beginning to feel--pick an adjective--apprehensive, anxious, lonely. 

For some strange reason, three images stand out for me from those last 30 days that I was home: 1) shopping with my Mom for "school clothes," including Italian "swirl" shoes and a brown corduroy-and-suede winter jacket at the downtown Hudson's store; 2) reading a story in the Detroit News--while sitting on a milk crate, in the doorway of my Dad's marble shop--about a 13-3 MSU football victory in the season opener against UCLA; and 3) sitting in my Dad's '63 Pontiac Bonneville, feeling melancholy as I listened to Johnathon King's "Everyone's Gone To The Moon" on the radio while he ran into Allo Bar at 35th and Horatio in Detroit for a "fast one" after work.

During the run-up to the start of school, I kept thinking about how I would soon be entering an unknown world. It was heady stuff for the first kid in the Bokuniewicz family to attend college.

Finally, on a Sunday afternoon, my parents drove me to East Lansing, helped me move my stuff into the dorm, and said goodbye. I didn't kiss my mother. I'm not sure I even hugged her, as my family just didn't do that sort of thing. My folks would never again set foot on the MSU campus.

I met my two roommates at 271 Abbot Hall that day--a couple of guys from "the thumb" of Michigan. One with a vaguely moppish head of hair, wearing jeans, penny loafers and "no socks" (that would be you); the other a pimply-faced son of a big-time sugar beet farmer who told me he was an "egg major." (Turns out he actually said "ag major." Who knew?)

Usually wearing tight pants and my Italian swirls during those first few weeks--and with a jar of Dixie Peach Pomade on my dresser, plainly visible to all who entered our room--it took only a few days for me to realize that in the eyes of the guys in the House of Abode, I had been judged as someone "different."

A couple guys, I would eventually learn, thought that I was possibly a member of a gang. I was being perceived by some as that "streetwise kid from Detroit."

I began thinking, What don't these people get about me? And what is it about them? When they dressed for Sunday dinner (as we were required to do in the dorm in those days), they wore herringbone sport coats, rep ties and wing tips. I wore a sharkskin suit and "thick-on-thin" socks. They liked tunes such as "Little Honda" by the Hondells, which I thought was kinda weird. As a matter of fact, I was amazed by the proliferation of Hondas (especially Honda Hawks) all over the MSU campus.

In my neighborhood, guys rode big-ass Triumph, BSA and Norton motorcycles. We listened to the Temptations, Four Tops and obscure groups on black radio stations. Where I came from, most popcorn-machine-riding, bubble-gum-music-listening types would be derided as "cake eaters."

So that's the backdrop to the period you succinctly described in a dozen words: "The times, they weren't a-changin' yet, but a change was gonna come."

And "Whoa, Nellie," did things ever change.

During that first quarter at MSU, I recall sitting in my seat at the Nat Sci building one morning, reading the State News before class started, about Mario Savio and the Free Speech Movement at Berkeley. It seemed that people all over campus were talking about it. Also, I was aware that something called the Gulf of Tonkin incident had occurred the previous year, but now I was beginning to hear about a troop build-up in South Vietnam.

The change that was gonna come--at least in East Lansing--seemed to begin with the Ramparts magazine article a few months later (April of '66) about MSU's clandestine involvement with the CIA and South Vietnamese government. I remember well the four-color illustration of a large-breasted, Vietnamese-looking MSU cheerleader--Michigan State pennant in hand--on the cover.

Next thing I knew, shit was hitting the fan. 

That story marked the beginning of things radical and revolutionary on campus. I soon found myself reading more than just the sports section every day and listening to political debates among students in the grill. Sophomore year I started attending speeches in protest of the war at Fairchild Theater; and about "black power" and the class struggle, as espoused by the Black Panther Party; and about revelations concerning ground bits of bone and mouse ears that could be found in hot dogs, according to consumer advocate Ralph Nader.

After the Ramparts story, it seemed as though students were railing everywhere against the Vietnam War--in the State News, at gatherings in kivas, and at sites on campus such as the old administration building and Beaumont Tower.

Initially, I was bewildered by it all. My Dad and uncles were World War II veterans. I had never heard them criticize the concept of war. How could our country not be right about what it was doing in Southeast Asia, I thought? 

I can't pinpoint the exact moment that I came to understand that the War in Vietnam was "all wrong," but by the time you and I moved into 276 Abbot Hall (or was it 275?) in the fall of '66, changes of all kinds were indeed on. Some examples:

Long Hair. The style on campus was transitioning from Brian Wilson-like to Mick Jagger-like. (By Thanksgiving I was parting my hair rather than combing it back ala Bobby Rydell.) Guys began wearing "fatigue jackets" and girls were getting into the "peasant look." (Thanks to your influence, I ditched my typical footwear for a pair of Bass Weejuns in the fall and a pair of Bates Floaters to plow through the snow winter term. These were the first mini steps in a change of personal identity for me.) Along with the changes in hair styles and clothing on campus we began hearing terms like "hippies, radicals and freaks."

The Music. By September of '66, the Beatles had released at least a half dozen albums. Same for the Rolling Stones. The next thing I knew, you went from being a Chad and Jeremy fan to a devotee of the Mothers of Invention, as well as Captain Beefhart. Big-time change. I hung in there as the maven of Motown in the House of Abode which, of course, underwent a name change to the House of Abortion.

The Sexual Revolution. I recall walking alone to the auditorium across from Bessie Hall to hear someone--I have no idea who--give a speech about the sexual revolution. I recall sitting in my seat when the speaker on stage exhorted everyone to turn and look into the eyes of the person next to us, and, on the count of three, to yell "pussy"--ostensibly to help us get over our inhibitions. I thought to myself, Lenny, we're not at St. Al's any more.

The Generation Gap. I think it was Jack Weinberg of the Free Speech Movement who said, "Don't trust anyone over 30." I recall you concluding, "When I turn 30 I won't be able to trust myself anymore." And every time I would go home and see my next door neighbor, Mr. Phillips, some of my uncles and, eventually, work associates from the Greatest Generation, we would engage in a lively debate about "the war." I think of that time as the beginning of the first "great divide."

Politics. Now I was really paying attention to the national dissent over Vietnam. In fact, practically every student on campus was paying attention. I started subscribing to Newsweek and would do so for the next 40 years, in order to stay apprised of the great issues of the day. I even took an elective class called Great Issues, as well as a political science class called The Isms (socialism, Marxism, Leninism, Communism, Fascism). By junior year I was watching the CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite practically every night. I couldn't wait to hear the insightful commentary of Eric Sevareid at the conclusion of each show.

The Civil Rights Movement. As a child, I had been aware of "colored" kids being escorted into an all-white school in the South during the Eisenhauer administration. But it was Martin Luther King who epitomized "the movement" in the early-to-mid '60s with his non-violent approach to civil disobedience. Then came the Detroit riot during the "long, hot summer of 1967." "The times they were a-changin'."

Drugs. I'm not even sure that I had heard about pot or LSD in high school. But during that first term at MSU there was all kinds of coverage in the student newspaper, Playboy magazine and other media about Dr. Timothy Leary and his experiments with LSD. He was exhorting everyone to "Tune in, turn on, drop out." Or was it "Turn on, tune in, drop out"? Anyway, by the time we graduated, it was the rare college kid who had not at least tried smoking reefer. Beyond that I did dexedrine a few times to stay up all night to cram for final exams, but I never did a psychedelic trip on acid.

Many times I have said that society changed more from 1965 to 1970--socially, politically, racially, musically, culturally, sexually, etc.--than during any other five-year period in my lifetime. And, while it was happening, our football jones was being satisfied by Duffy Daugherty, Bubba, and his All-American buddies, leading up to the first "game of the century," the 10-10 tie with Notre Dame in the last game of the '66 season, and a share of consecutive national football championships our first two years in school.

Oh, how the world turned in the '60s. For my money, it was the best time in history to be a student at MSU

Ad finem.

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

[since everything under a Read More cut gets deleted in case a blog deletes/gets deleted and the WayBackMachine isn’t good with pictures, for Archive Purposes Only, I will add the most important bits of the/rest of the full post and have also checked/updated/added the source links to the best of my abilities]

"July - August 2010

I’ll give a brief overview of the July - August timeline to set the stage. Some of these are ballpark estimates.

July 18: Day 1 of Boot Camp

July 22: Boot Camp Judgement Day/1D Is formed

Late July: First band meeting they talked about in the movie

Mid August: 2 weeks at Harry’s dad’s bungalow

End of August: Judge’s Houses

28: Liam tweets “Things are getting very interesting.” (tweet) 

28: Liam tweets “I’m leaving on a jet plane! Nice choice of song. X” (tweet) 

31: Stan posts to facebook “OH GOD TENSE TIMES!!!!!!!” [link not working, Stan has deleted his account or set the post to private] 

Harry created his twitter on 22 August but did not tweet much until September. Louis was tweeting a lot, but not to Harry or any of the guys until September. Part of this was probably due to NDA’s (nondisclosure agreements) they had to sign promising not to disclose any results from episodes that had not aired yet. So a lot of group chatter about rehearsals and getting together was likely prohibited.

Original 1D Twitter Account

Before the first live show, all articles and twitter accounts created by fans called the guys “1 Direction” and not “One Direction.” On September 27th, Louis tweeted one of the first fan accounts: "@1DirectionXF is not the official twitter , we do have an official twitter but havent started promoting it yet .“ That got me curious about whether @onedirection was the first Twitter account.

It was not as that account was created on 29 October 2010. 

So I started playing around with user names, seeing if I could guess what it was. I combined "1direction” and onedirectionmusic from the original Youtube account and voila. 

Let’s all follow it and see if anyone notices.

(Hilariously, Jay tweeted “I love ‘One Directin!’” on the night of the 26th, while Hannah confirmed to fans on the night of the 27th that it was “1Direction.”)

Liam: Liam was an interesting character before the live shows started. Most know that he had already tried out for X Factor in previous years, including even making it as far as Judge’s Houses, before he was ultimately rejected. He had a small fanbase built in from that and communicated with them via Twitter, Facebook and a website.

Liam spent most of the time leading up to Boot Camp talking to fans and all of his time after boot camp talking to fans via Twitter, especially encouraging people to buy his wrist bands which he sold via his website. He did not tweet much about the show itself or any of the guys, despite the fact that they tweeted him on several occasions. Liam either took the NDA much more seriously than the others or he just wanted to appear solo as long as possible. 

Because he had tried out before and was so obviously loved by the judge’s in his tryout in 2010, Liam was dubbed the X Factor favorite in 2010 before the live shows began airing. This included numerous articles about his odds (link 1 | [link 2 source no longer available] and he was even linked publicly to Cher Lloyd as early as September 8th [link source no longer available]. This is interesting and telling because as the dynamics shifted and Harry became the clear favorite, the PR narrative involving Cher was dumped in his lap (which he, Anne and Gemma all denied). 

In the movie, Louis and Liam talked about how, in the beginning, they didn’t get along because Liam took things too seriously and Louis was too care free. And based on Liam’s Twitter alone it is pretty apparent how intensely focused Liam was on winning the X Factor from the beginning. It doesn’t surprise me at all that these two personalities clashed like they did. But it’s neat to see how close they are now. 

Niall Not much to say here other than Niall is awesome and hasn’t changed at all and I love him. He tweeted Harry and Louis (and Zayn once) in September. He seemed to be completely ignoring the NDA while the others carefully danced around it. 

Zayn Zayn spent a lot of his time inviting fans to come chat to him via his Facebook page. He talked a little about his religion and the fact that he is mixed race. But he tended to keep stuff off Twitter (surprise lol). 

Harry and Louis Yes, they are a unit so they are grouped together. They actually didn’t tweet each other at all until September 27th, 2010. But we know they were talking via phone, because it’s been mentioned they were the two who planned the bungalow and also, Niall’s infamous tweet to Louis from September 13: [tweet]

We all know Harry tweeted the lyrics to “Hannah” by Ray LaMontagne on September 13th around 5:30 PM [UK time], which is pretty awesome. [tweet]

And of course, the tweet from Niall (above) was a little less than 4 hours later.

But the night before that, he also tweeted song lyrics. To “For the First Time” by the Script. BY THE SCRIPT. “FOR THE FIRST TIME” BY THE SCRIPT. I just think that’s really cute and The Script makes me emotional, ok? [tweet]

On the 18th around 3:30 PM [UK time], Harry also posted some song lyrics: “Dancing in the Moonlight" by Thin Lizzy. [tweet]

And just 3 hours later, Louis tweeted "I love Hannah.” [tweet] These two aren’t necessarily related, but interesting to note.

X Factor House From what I can tell, it is most likely that they moved into the X Factor house on Monday the 20th. Liam and Stan both mentioned going to London that day (here [Stan has set the post to private] and here) and everyone stopped tweeting so much, probably busy filming promo for the show and getting settled and rehearsals. 

Jay took this picture and tweeted it to one of the first fan accounts on the 24th, which appears to be the boys in London:

Move in day probably being the 20th makes the tweets on the 27th interesting. The boot camp results show was aired the night of the 26th, meaning the world knew Louis, Harry, Niall, Zayn and Liam were in a group together and going to Judge’s Houses. So 12 hours after the cat is out of the bag, Louis and Harry tweet each other and talk about how happy they are to be together and how happy they make each other. DO YOU SEE WHY THIS MAKES ME EMOTIONAL? None of the other boys did this. 

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

[tweet]

September 2010:

5: Stan posts on Facebook “Free hot pizza cos Louis is famous!!!” [link not working, FB deleted or post set to private]

5: Metro posts article “Liam Payne Second Favorite” to win the X Factor [no link was inserted, replacement source could not be found]

8: MTV UK posts an article saying Liam and Cher Lloyd hooked up at boot camp (lolololol) and Liam denies via twitter [link to source no longer available]

9: Harry posts song lyrics: "When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change, cause you’re amazing…just the way you are :)“ [tweet]

11: Express and Star posts article saying Liam is 6:1 favorite to win the X Factor (source)

12: Niall tweets Louis "ari buddie..giv me a ring..” (tweet)

12: [Harry tweets:] "Ooh These times are hard,and they’re making us crazy..Don’t give up on me Baby .xx" (tweet) 

13: Louis tweets Niall “@niallofficial iPhone!!!!” - He was trying to sell his Android at the time, so I think this means he bought an iPhone. (tweet)

13: Harry tweets at 5:30 PM “I lost all my Vanity, When I peered into the Pool..I lost all my Innocence,when I feel lin love with you .xx” This is a song called “Hannah” by Ray LaMontagne. (tweet)

13: Niall tweets Louis about 3 hours later at 9 PM "@louis_tomlinson louis ring me.. Harry told me something tday that u told him.. TALK T ME" (tweet)

18: Harry tweets at 3:30 PM [UK time] “Well I passed you in the doorway,and you took me with a glance..i should have got the last bus home, but I asked you for a dance ;) .xx”. This is a song called “Dancing in the Moonlight by Thin Lizzy. (tweet)

18: At 6:30 PM [UK time], Louis tweets "I love Hannah.” (tweet)

19: Stan posts on Facebook “London tomorrow to meet some celebs.” [link not working, FB deleted or post set to private]

20: Liam tweets “Down in London. Can’t tweet too much but thanks for your ongoing support. X” (tweet) 

24: Jay tweets one of the first fan accounts at about 7:45 PM [UK time] a picture of the boys together in London (twitpic)

26: Jay tweets “Go 'One Direction!’” (tweet)

27: Louis tweets at 11:30 AM [UK time]  “@1DirectionXF is not the official twitter , we do have an official twitter but havent started promoting it yet .” (tweet)

27: Louis tweets at noon  “@_whytheface I’m sat next to him right now ! X” responding to a fan asking Louis how to get Harry to follow her…Louis doesn’t answer the question. Just announces he’s with Harry. (tweet)

27: Louis immediately tweets again  “Is sat with @harry_styles happy days :)” – LOUIS’ FIRST TWEET TO HARRY (tweet) 

27: Louis starts answering tweets in terms of “we.” “@SophiexNicholls We are both great thanks :) how are you ?x” (tweet) 

27: Louis announces again he’s with Harry at 12:10 PM.  “I’m bacckk :) with @Harry_styles again :)” (tweet) 

27: At 12:30 PM, Louis tweets.  “@xPeaceLoveJonas Me and @Harry_Styles loves your support ! ” (tweet) 

27: At 12:43 PM, Louis tweets.  “@meeeshell_x we’re great thank you how are you ? X” (tweet) 

27: Stan tweets Louis jokingly asking  “@louis_tomlinson so are you pleased to have Simon as your mentor? Bet judge’s houses is gonna be great.. When do you go?” (tweet) 

27: At 12:49 PM, Harry tweets.  “Is laughing so bad with @ Louis_Tomlinson :) .xx” HARRY’S FIRST TWEET TO LOUIS (tweet) 

27: At 1:06 PM, Louis tweets their first twitcam.  "http://twitcam.com/26a4v - Enjoy guys me and harry :)“ (tweet) 

27: At 1:16 PM, Jay tweets Louis about the twitcam.  "You guys are good x” (tweet) 

27: Fittingly, Harry tweets around 1:30 PM in response to whether he has a girlfriend “@SBKavanagh erm..no I don’t :P .x” (tweet) 

27: At 6PM, Hannah tweets a fan and says the group name is “1Direction” [Hannah's twitter account is gone, so the tweet is unavailable]

[companion post with all these tweets as screenshots]

Harry and Louis Recap:

July 18: They notice each other in the stairwell.

July 21: They meet in the bathroom at X-Factor.

[Louis is also wearing a t-shirt with a BUTTERFLY and a BEE AAAA]

July 22: They get put into a group together.

Late August (5 weeks after boot camp): Judge’s Houses

September 13 (about 7 weeks since boot camp): Harry tells Niall Louis told him something and it sounds like a big deal. [tweet]

Late September (About 8 - 10 weeks after boot camp): If we take Harry’s comment a year later literally:

So there you have it. Fairy tale rom-com levels of teenage love affair."

September 2010: Let's talk about it.

September 2010 is a lovely, ambiguous time. The boys had all met at boot camp, been put into a group, spent 2 weeks at the bungalow and then went to judge’s houses where they were put through to the live shows.

Fame was knocking at the front door.

But Harry was still working shifts at the bakery. And they were still tweeting their plans to each other and trying to sell cell phones via Twitter (Louis, what even). 

They were asked about this time period (sort of) in a radio interview they did in New Zealand recently and it made me a little more curious about what we can learn about that time period from tweets. 

This is a little more incomplete than my bigger timelines (linked in the sidebar on my blog). There obviously wasn’t as much press, tweets and fan tweets and pictures to go on. But I think I dug up some moderately cool stuff.

Before we begin, all my love and gratitude to genderblinditem who has painstakingly been cataloging old tweets and has been awesome enough to share with me. Go follow her. She’s great and has smart things to say, so it’s a win-win.

(With my theme, the read more isn’t showing up. So if you are viewing this on my blog, please click the date stamp at the top of the post to view it in it’s entirety).

Onward!

Keep reading

[loveinpassingpress]

Disturbing The Peace Of An Unhealed Heart

The human mind is capable of so many incredible things, such as the way we’re able to rewire the certain parts of ourselves that exist only as a way to hurt us.

It was a month ago that I found myself coming into consciousness of these rewired, soundless thoughts running throughout my own mind. Ones that weren't plagued with the mental images of memories shared with him that I'd dreamt up in light of his absence from my life, but not yet my heart. It was September, and I felt my life was beginning to not only look different, but feel different, too. As though I were in a phase of ending metaphorical chapters in my life just to begin new ones with more peace and stability than I'd ever known before.

In a piece I wrote a few months ago, titled ‘Falling out of love from a distance’, I mentioned that I'd learnt trying to blindly seek something that doesn't exist will only ever hurt you more. Of course, I've loved and lost enough humans on this earth many times to know this is true, but it seems that what I clearly had forgotten, is just how easily a broken heart can be drawn back to what hurt it in the first place.

~

For as long as I can remember, I’ve heard of a well-known belief that our minds are capable of sending invisible waves of energy to those that we think about - and now, I think I believe it. In fact, I think I've even decided that him and I must be living proof of this psychological voodoo. That's why, when he walked back into my life on what began as just another insignificant September night, I realised I'd almost subconsciously been anticipating it since the very moment he'd last left.

"It's taken this whole time for me to realise that I'm never going to get what you gave me" he began.

"...I really should've treated you better, and I don't know why I didn't..."

"...nobody is like you, and I took it for granted".

I’d like to think that he's ignorantly unaware of what he's doing. Unaware of the pain his silent departures and insincere returns to and from my life inflict upon me. I'd also like to think there's a reason for all of the complicated, one-sided love this relationship has left me subject to, and that one day we'll finally be able to move past these gratuitous standstills of love. That one day we'll stop letting all of the insignificant complications manifest themselves into months of silence and hostility.

I’ve let myself believe all of the pain he puts me through must mean something, which seems to have played a significant role in my self-taught tendency to continue loving and trusting him when he tells me that he's ready to love me the way I deserve to be loved - despite all of the times these promises have ended in tears as he, yet again, proves himself to be wrong, and me, hopelessly naïve.

Most frustratingly of all, if I had just listened to all of the internal, rewiring of voices that I’d learnt to tune out, I possibly would have realised that my letting him back in is just an invitation for him to love and leave me again. If I had just listened to what I already knew, I also would have saved myself the inevitable end of us, for the third time. Instead, mid-September, October and the beginning of November were spent refamiliarising myself with his existence as we both fell back into our usual, well-rehearsed routine of him averting from any kind of honest conversation about what it is that he really wants, whilst I learn to make peace with the likelihood that I’ll only ever know what it feels like to take up such a small piece of his mind.

This time around he only stayed for a short while, and I knew as I watched him from across the table dance around every silence - every chance to apologise for his abrupt absence from my life, that he had no true intention of doing any of what he was promising me. I knew that he wouldn’t treat me better than he had in the past, because just like the past - he is still unaware of what it is that he had.

The past few months have taught me how to live without him, and I think I’ve grown comfortable in the peace that this time spent alone has brought me. I also think that it’s this peace that finally allowed me to follow the instincts that have, for the past seven months, been trying to let me know that it’s time to leave.

“Sorry I’ve been a little bit all over the place the past week…I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I cannot be friends with someone I used to really love…and I’m also aware that things are probably going to end badly and you’re going to throw me to the side again…”

“…so I think it’s best if we don’t keep talking, because I don’t want you to hurt me again…”

“…You don’t need to reply to this message and it’ll probably hurt me less if you don’t…”

“…I’m sure you understand why I have to look out for myself.”

This time, I didn’t even hesitate to send my message. I think each day that’s spent in peace is helping shift my love for him, into a love for what it is that I’m yet to know.

And I hope to give myself this love that I’ve been chasing for so long - this love that was beginning to bud within me three months ago, amid the peace his absence brought to my life.

[princessmagichuman]

My thoughts on 2024/New Year Resolutions 2025

Hi everyone, Princess here. And oh boy 2024 is something I thought this is going to be bad year like last year and 2020s. But stuff happened and I’m going to talk about it.

Let’s just say that 2024 is a crappy year like always.

But this year was the year of Bluey and my own Bluey: The Video Game Gameplay and holy cow I didn’t expect to get hat many views and likes which caused me to reach 300 subscribers.

A terrible tragedy happened at my mother’s birth state involving my football team having a parade after winning the Super Bowl. One dead and 22 shot. Rest in peace to the person. 🕊️🪦🪽🥀🕯️

The sign episode of Bluey in April got me in tears because of beautiful the episode is. And I was fully fictosexual at the time before October.

Angel The Cyborg Panda existed for 10 years and I’m so happy that I kept her including ocs I’ve created.

That June I was extremely stressed and depressed because of family drama. However I got interested in spoofs, MVs, and fan edits more to cure my depression. I took a whole month off in July because of me got triggered by past trauma and present trauma that June and July.

September was football season and my mother’s birthday! And we went somewhere to watch the game and it was f**king fun! I never knew Football teams in NFl have places to watch games!

Before the end of September and beginning of October. I never have a boyfriend or been in a relationship at all. Because in 2014 to 2020. I’m a rejector not an accepter and I have Autism and OCD. I rejected 4 guys irl because I was a furry at time. And I rejected 2 guys online because of their behavior and possible cheaters. What I hate when it comes to being confessed by rushing things. After I just f**king met them! And that’s a huge no no.

I was confessed by again but this time is a good thing. Because I used to have feelings for him, but didn’t say anything due to my fictosexuality and my abrosexuality. Whoever the hell use my name for questions back in 2023. That’s not me because I don’t have instagram until this October. Started off as friends for a long time (6 years) and I’m glad I said yes. For the first time I said yes. 🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love him so much and I hope it goes well in the future.

That October is Crossover MVs but it’s on a YouTube Alternate Website called Odysee and it’s pretty awesome that have interests making them after I was stressed and depressed. And of course a New Battle Bears game came out it was really fun, but at the same time addictive.

That November it was gaming time Marsupilami Hoobadventure and Palworld. That thanksgiving was boring but we ate late lol.

That December I got myself iPad Pro and making spoofs MVs, gaming, and animations.

Since 2025 is going to be begin soon, I won’t be online like I used to except for gaming. Due to I’m out of ideas of what to draw or make. And that’s a good thing because I’ll be working on myself and being busy with life that year.

Eating healthy foods and exercising

Talk to people more/coming out of my shell (Due to my Autism, I’ll do my best)

Getting a DNA test (because I’m curious about where my black ancestors came from in Africa or Caribbean or Jamaica and what type of Asian race I got)

Traveling (Me and my family are going to be traveling soon, if not that year then years later lol)

Worry less than more. (I have OCD and I worry too much about almost everything, I’ll try my best not to worry too much)

Working on Spoofs (I’ll be planning on making them along with films/stuff that is released in the Year of 2000 before 2030. Because I’m moving the anniversary drawings of 2000 stuff to that year)

My new look will reveal on New Year’s Day along with a mascot who’s a Pitbull. And a new YouTube Channel Name because as I search the name, the results showed me some elsagate crap. 🤢 So I’ll change it to my Mascot’s name or My name and my mascot’s name.

This January since it’s my birthday and my birth month I’ll be doing some stuff such as games, edits, and other things I like.

That’s all I have to say. Have a good day or night everyone and have a good rest of 2024! ~Princess

[somedeepmystery]

Do you remember the 21st night of September? Neither do I. Or any of September really, how is it almost October? How is it almost officially fall?

Anyway, apologies for not managing an update this month! The beginning of the month I helped a friend move up from Florida, then immediately drove across state for a wedding reception/celebration. By the time I was home a big chunk of the month was over! Then I took said friend apartment hunting, dealt with family appointments... so yeah just general busyness. I have been getting some writing done -- in the general sense of creating a story way. I am very close to starting an actual first draft!

Just in time for a new challenge -- since Naexaumo (national exploit authors month formally nanowrimo) is dead to me, I am jumping on a challenge a few people have offered up, which is 100k in Q4. My novel should not be 100k probably, but I'm an over writer so the chances of the first draft being too long are high!

I've been outlining. "Outlining" I say, but is it really? No idea but it's been fun! Like a discovery draft but without having to worry about prose. Each pass I have figured out the characters and story more, in a way that I can't seem to do without immersing myself in the story. But instead of writing scenes I get attached to and have to cut, I'm just speculating, summing up, it's easier to cut -- even though I do still get attached to moments and ideas, it's easier when they aren't all flushed out.

We will see if that carries over to making it easier to draft, or if I will be too bored with it to give it the care it needs? Time will tell and I am hopeful! I'm still in love with the characters!

Hope you are having the best end of summer possible -- times are tense, I know, so take care of yourselves!

[atiny-for-life]

Fashion

Most recently, San jumped off the deep end into the fashion world with an appearance at Dolce&Gabbana Alta Moda:

The vlog documenting his journey to the event was uploaded on July 29th, 2024:

On September 21st, 2024, San made an appearance during Milan Fashion week, wearing Dolce&Gabbana again and, this time, getting to sit front row with fellow K-Pop Idol Yeji from Itzy:

On October 12th, 2024, the official Behind the Scenes to San's appearance at the fashion show in Milan was released on Ateez's YouTube channel:

Filmed in large parts by San himself, the video is very cute, filled with San's typical sweet and calm narration as he goes about his days up to the show itself.

We also get this fun glimpse into what it's like to be a shredded person with broad-ass shoulders and a tiny snatched waist:

And, of course, there's also the classic:

while Jongho's "A Day" begins playing from San's phone.

We also get a bit of inside into how he ended up eating with Madonna whom he calls "a legend" and "historical figure":

He makes it very clear how honored he feels to have been invited but also wonder how he got invited in the first place (as if he weren't a world star himself). He also notes how he's not fluent in English yet, but...

Also: quizzing his stylist on how well she knows him. Fucking adorable.

As a bonus, we also get to see a call with Jongho who just got back from filming in Germany with Hongjoong. As is tradition, the call starts with the usual "I'm filming a video right now so-"

And ends with the eternal struggle to get Jongho to say "I love you" which he, of course, doesn't do. The little shit.

We also follow San to the show itself where he gets interviewed and talks with and hugs the Dolce and Gabbana guys.

Understandably, we don't get to see the dinner with Madonna later that day but San recaps it for us the next morning:

He's very sweet about it, retelling to us how he showed her the Ateez social media page and talked about the others so she knew who they were as a group instead of only getting to know him.

He also talks about the pictures they took together and how he shared with her the impact she's had on them all growing, calling her a "living legend".

He also shares some words of wisdom he's gotten from the Dolce and Gabbana guys (who already invited him to the next show in January, though he doesn't know if he'll have time to go) before he thanks Atiny for making all this possible for him. It's very wholesome.

On March 1st, 2025, San attended the the “Dolce & Gabbana Women’s FW 2025” fashion show in Milan, Italy for which he was dressed in a relatively simple black suit and low-cut white shirt matched with (reportedly) 91 000 Euro anime-looking glasses (I don't know how he was brave enough to wear them this way but I'm also someone who grew up poor so, y'know):

The behind the scenes to his appearance there was later released on March 17th, 2025 in which we get to see him trying on various outfits before the final one was chosen, getting ready and arriving at the show and more:

Original Music

On December 29th, 2024, seemingly as part of Hongjoong's ongoing project to write songs for all the members, San's first solo original song was released.

Carrying the title "Snowflake", the song is beautiful with a music video that follows San about his day as he interacts with and smiles at a person behind the camera we cannot see.

The instrumental is gorgeous (reminiscent of the Life is Strange soundtrack if you've ever played those games) and San's voice breathtakingly sweet as he wallows in the memories of a past relationship which ended the winter prior and yet he can't seem to let go.

Creative Spotlight #5: Choi San

Masterlist

Intro: With so many new Atinys coming in, I figured now would be a good time to shed some light on all the boys' creative solo projects over the years, big and small.

ASMR

Like Seonghwa, San also tried his hand at ASMR and appeared twice on M2's Tingle Interview series. Once with Wooyoung in 2020 (San did great and Wooyoung was just confused af by what they were asking him to do - it's hilarious):

And once with Yunho in 2021 (Yunho did a lot better than Wooyoung - he seemed to actually know what he was getting himself into):

The Sanchelin Guide

Like the others, San launched his own series in 2020 and his is all about "critiquing" restaurants (really, it's just him giving anime girl reactions in a voice over while we watch him eat - it's fantastic):

Episode 2 was released shortly after the first, with Episode 3 following in early 2021 and Episode 4 in mid-2022, marking the latest addition to the series.

Cover Songs

San posted his first cover song to Ateez's channel last year.

Lee Hi's Breathe suits his voice incredibly well, going from sweet and soft to powerful high notes. It's a deeply emotional song with a backstory that was shared in the comments by a YouTube user:

Transcript:

nikki6030: He covered a song which is rather a very emotional song if you have been in Kpop for long… it was a song composed by SHINee Jonghyun (RIP my angel) for Lee Hi who suffered from panic disorder and breathing difficulty… Lee Hi sang this song once again after Jonghyun’s departure and made everyone cry… this song is just that special & San’s beautiful vocal reminded me of Jonghyun… and how idols struggle and feel being the public’s entertainment…. Let’s spread Love!!

2 months ago, San and Jongho collaborated on a cover of IU's Dear Name:

From songs like Turbulence, we already knew their voices sound breathtaking together, but this cover really highlights all aspects in which they mesh well. At 4:05, when the song builds, my heart stops until San comes in and they both harmonize - it's such a gorgeous cover.

Pentatonix Collab

Many don't seem to know this, but two years ago, Yunho, San, and Jongho were featured on a Pentatonix song called A Little Space which even included a Korean verse:

Imitation Soundtrack

Like Yunho, Seonghwa, and Jongho, San was part of the Imitation cast and, within the show-verse, part of the group Sparkling, together with Seonghwa and Yunho.

Since this is the third post on which I'm posting a Diamond performance, here's a fun fact for those who haven't watched the show (yet): going by the show's canon, Jongho's group, Shax, debuted prior to Sparkling so they had the running joke on set that Jongho needed to be addressed formally by the other three since he was their senior. Good times.

Dancing

8 months ago, San's dance performance to Imagine Dragons' Warriors was released, featuring a choreography San, BBtrippin, and TARZAN collaborated on:

It's got everything you'd expect from San-level quality in a performance: controlled power, facial expression, palpable emotion - it's gripping, it's stunning, and the camera work, costumes, lighting and editing are only enhance it all the more. We even get a touch of CGI to bring it all together and make it look as grand as it feels: