#this time without IIED because that was a bit iffy

[anonymous-chicken-was-taken]

What the Ace Attorney Villains Could Get Charged With (to the best of my research) (in America laws)

Game Two

!Disclaimer! I know nothing about law take this with a grain of salt I was just bored.

Richard Wellington

Assault and battery - Two cases of both. One when he killed Dustin Prince and the second when he hit Phoenix with the fire extinguisher. Though, depending on whether or not Phoenix saw him coming, he could be innocent of the second assault charge. Not the battery, though. I doubt either would count as aggravated assault, as it was the fall, not the fists, that killed Dustin; though Phoenix's is a bit more uncertain due to the weight of the fire extinguisher and the fact that he's only not dead because he's a freak of nature.

Incrimination - He tried to frame Maggey with the name written in the sand.

Obstruction of justice - Can you say "tampering with the crime scene"?

Theft - He stole Phoenix's phone, even if it wasn't technically his intention. It doesn't really matter, since his own phone was likely regarded as evidence. So, theft no matter how you look at it.

Fraud - So much fraud, seeing as he's a con artist. That's what con artistry is. The textbook definition of fraud, all the time, as a job.

Conspiracy - As he was in a GROUP of con artists, his fraud is conspiratorial in nature.

Second-degree murder - He had the intention to kill or severely injure Dustin, but didn't seem to be thinking about it. Thus, no premeditation.

Computer fraud/abuse - Yes, this is an actual thing. When he deletes the contacts off of Phoenix's phone, he's commiting a crime. Doubly so since his actual intention to delete information off of a piece of evidence during a criminal investigation, which may lead to some transferred intent or something.

Perjury

Morgan Fey (includes crimes from Game 3)

Conspiracy - She plans the murder of Dr. Grey with Ini Miney, in depth. Perhaps the most clear-cut case of conspiracy in the series. Also all KINDS of conspiracy in Bridge to the Turnabout.

Obstruction of justice - She did the tampering of the crime scene in Dr. Grey's murder, hiding and fabricating several pieces of evidence regarding Maya.

Incrimination - You know the deal. Frame-ups are incrimination.

Treason - Depending on how you interpret the government in Kurain, she could be guilty of this by committing crimes against the government. I'm trying to figure out what crime she may have committed trying to usurp Maya and Misty, so I may change this later if I figure out something more accurate.

Corruption - If you don't think treason makes sense, then she definitely committed this, regardless. Even without any monarchy, there would have to be some kind of business model for the spirit channeling, which makes her a business executive of sorts, therefore capable of criminal corruption.

First-degree murder - By proxy, when Ini Miney kills Dr. Grey. They planned it together, after all.

Attempted regicide - This is the closest real life law to describe when she tried to kill Maya due to her status. By proxy, of course. If you don't buy the Feys being some kind of pseudo-monarchy, then this is just attempted murder.

Assault and battery - Three charges, by proxy. One for Dr. Grey, one for the drugging of Maya, and one for Dahlia attacking Maya at Hazakura temple. All are aggravated except for the drugging because knife. It's possible some of the assault charges wouldn't go through due to the fact that Dr. Grey and Maya may not have seen the attacks coming.

Child abuse - Her treatment of Pearl could easily be considered this, particularly in the third game when she tries to trick her into murdering her cousin. That's pretty bad parenting.

Perjury

Acro (Ken Dingling)

First-degree murder - The murder was about as planned as you can get without taking it to its logical extreme Manfred-von-Karma-style. Yes, he intended to murder Regina, but transferal of intent is a thing. I'm honestly not sure if the fact that he was intending to kill a child carries over, but if it does, the punishment would be greater.

Obstruction of justice - A bit of a grey area, but he did hide the murder weapon and burn the cape, so I believe this applies.

Child endangerment - This or a similar charge may apply due to his goal to kill a child, by my best estimation. Even if it doesn't, failure to report suspected child abuse can count as child endangerment, and... well, the basically the whole circus was grooming this sixteen year old girl, so...

Incrimination - Depends if you think his framing of Max became intentional at some point along the way, which, considering the fact that he testified against him, it almost definitely did.

Battery - No assault, actually, since Russel didn't see the statue coming! But still battery. Automatically.

Perjury

Matt Engarde (+ Shelly de Killer, by extent)

Conspiracy - He hired an assassin.

First-degree murder - He hired an assassin.

Burglary - Breaking into a place with the intent of committing a felony. While he didn't do this himself, he had Shelly de Killer do it, and anything a hitman does while carrying out the act they were paid to do is a crime the hirer is also guilty of.

Assault and battery - Given Shelly de Killer suffocated Juan and there were signs of a struggle, this is presumably true. Matt is guilty by proxy. Given that we have no idea what he used to kill him, I have no idea if this is aggravated or not.

Fraud - Shelly de Killer pretended to be a bellboy at the hotel. Matt is guilty by proxy.

Blackmail - The ENTIRE case hinges on blackmail in the form of kidnapping Maya. However, he also takes significant steps towards blackmailing Shelly de Killer, so he may actually have two cases of this on his hands.

Kidnapping - This is a bit of a grey area, since it isn't certain that he directly ordered Shelly de Killer to kidnap Maya and use her to blackmail Phoenix. However, given that she was hidden in his house, he seems to know what happened, and he assists by reminding Phoenix of the situation, it's safe to say this was a conspiratorial crime. He's almost DEFINITELY going to be found guilty of this.

Wiretapping - Hiding hidden cameras in a "gift" for someone, as well as around his private residence... wiretapping for sure. Only if the video included audio, though. If not, it doesn't count.

Incrimination - In the plot twist of the century, he's actually guilty of this through conspiring with Phoenix himself. While he did not directly tell him or formulate and communicate the plan to pin the blame on Adrian at first, he did so later and clarified that this was always his intention. While Phoenix has the defense of being blackmailed at the time and the fact that he didn't actually provide any incriminating testimony (perhaps he's accessory?), Matt likely isn't going to be so lucky.

Invasion of privacy - See: wiretapping. Even if the cameras didn't have audio, they'd still be a huge invasion of privacy.

Taking a hostage - A few different names for this depending on where you are, but the basic principle remains the same. This is a separate crime from kidnapping and blackmail, as neither automatically mean a hostage situation. By proxy; even if he weren't conspiring, Shelly still defines this as part of the duties he was paid for, so the whole hired-felony-committing thing still applies.

False imprisonment - This is also not technically the same as a kidnapping charge. Shelly not only moved Maya to a different location against her will (kidnapping), but he also kept her there (false imprisonment). By proxy.

Perjury

GAME ONE

[barghuest-draws]

When did your love/interest for saw first start?

In which movie was the portrayal of Mark Hoffman your favorite?

Which apprentice of jigsaw is/was your least favorite?

Who do you think deserved the least to die?

(I saw your post about wanting to rant about saw, so don’t mind if I drop some questions here (๑>◡<๑))

Omgggg oh i absolutely don’t mind!! Ok here I go

Hummm well it must’ve been around the time Saw II came out. I was definitely too young for it but I had started watching horror movies at like 9 years old (with parental supervision at first) and I’m guessing I was like 13, 14 then? But I immediately loved it and I remember being so excited whenever a new movie was announced - until the sequel fatigue started to set in - but then Saw VI came out and refueled my love <3 (and then I fell in deep after rewatching everything)

Funnily enough I hated Hoffman on my first watch but I‘m almost certain that it was him getting out of the RBT in Saw VI that made me fall in love with him so it’s definitely that one. Although him going ham on the police precinct in 7 did make me feel a certain way 👀 but that was the only good thing in that movie aside from the Nazi trap lol

…well I personally refuse to acknowledge Logan as canon so he probably fits the bill but tbh I don’t really care for Lawrence either 🤷 I’m generally not a fan of retroactively squeezing in apprentices without prior planning for it, like even the way they added Hoffman in is a bit iffy because imo a lot doesn’t make any sense plot wise … I could go on about that but it’s getting really off topic so I shall refrain haha

Aw man there’s a few but I think Joyce from 7 didn’t deserve it AT ALL. Like seriously, she was just the wife of Bobby, she didn’t know anything about his lies and then she gets one of the worst deaths imaginable too!! If anything they should’ve made it so Joyce just had to watch Bobby die instead. (On that note I have to say the burning itself looked realistic and good, Eli Roth should’ve taken that as reference before creating his own shitty oven scene for Thanksgiving smh)

Thank you for the questions!! And don’t be afraid to keep em coming hehehe

[fsaxjack]

I know I'm not the first person to say this, especially since I played the games because of Jacob Geller's video, but I really, really love BJ Blazkowicz as a character and the Machine Games Wolfenstein series as a whole.

Not a lot of devs would be brave enough to have a Polish-American Jew (albeit seemingly non-practicing) be their main character. They even make him a blond-haired-blue-eyed badass who any Nazi not in the know mistakes for a perfect Aryan - a demonstration of just how asinine Nazi beliefs really are.

He's a kind, gentle, loving man who adores his wife and daughters, he never lets his pride get in the way of the mission and goal, and he truly tries his best to be a true ally of the revolution, accepting orders without complaint or hesitation and showing respect to the diverse groups that the Nazis oppress. He's vulnerable, human, and gives everything he has to the causes he cares about.

But he extends none of this kindness to Nazis - unless someone's disavowed the ideology outright, he will gladly slit Aryan throats without a second thought. His sheer hatred of their ideology, of their footsoldiers, leaders and hate, wakes him from a vegetative state to slaughter an entire platoon of the Wehrmacht, perfectly ready to continue World War II where he left off!

On the same note, not a lot of devs would demonstrate that White America in the 40s-50s was more than willing to accept the Nazi worldview, even as their conquerors treat them like backwards hicks and turn minorities into second-class citizens at best and outright slaves or corpses at worse

For that matter, there's certainly something cathartic about having a black man thoroughly lecture BJ on how the American ideal he fights for has never been a real ideology, the high-minded ideals tainted from day 1 - the Nazis borrowed American frameworks for racial segregation and marginalization to construct their own atop its foundations after all.

The games aren't perfect - there's one particular death that feels a bit fridge-y, Max feels a bit mishandled at points (kinda evokes the idea of, uh, I've heard it described as r-word strength) even if I do appreciate that those familiar with his needs do what they can to respect his sensory needs and triggers, and something about a Jewish mystical secret society who devised crazy advanced technology doesn't sit fully right with me (it makes sense thematically - the Nazis steal that technology to help them conquer the world, basically acknowledging that the Nazis and their ridiculous ideology wasn't realistically going to win without a big leg-up, but it still feels a bit iffy). But it's a rare treat to have a game that acknowledges why the Nazis were and are truly reprehensible, idiotic, and doomed to fail in one way or another, and that despite their belief otherwise, white America is not so above those noxious beliefs...

Watch Jacob Geller's video - "Judaism and Whiteness in Wolfenstein." It's a fantastic breakdown of a lot of these ideas and outlines what Jacob - being a Jewish man himself - would like to see in the next game.

I have some similar feelings about the mod TNO: Last Days of Europe - I find the premise of the mod really interesting: basically, it gives the Axis plot armor right up until they win the war and bring the remaining powers to the negotiating table, and shows just how unstable they would be once that plot armor is taken away and the absurd ego projects of a bunch of self-important genocidal druggies start blowing up in their faces. It acknowledges the horrors of the Nazi regime, of their use of slavery and genocide and war profiteering/looting, and demonstrates that these are not sustainable in any way. But the inherent jingoism of the HOI4 foundation does undercut the message at times, IMO - I've seen people on Youtube fight tooth and nail to actually conquer the world during that one Germany path even though you're supposed to hit a wall where expanding any further will start a nuclear war, but not expanding any further will collapse your economy.

[kchasm]

Ryu Number: Owen Garriott

Owen Garriott was an American astronaut who spent approximately two months in Skylab 3, taking—at the time—the shared world record for longest spaceflight (it'd be broken less than half a year later, but that's still awesome). More relevantly for us (i.e. those of us interested in Ryu Numbers), he was the father of Richard Garriott, the creator of the Ultima game series, so it's no surprise that the latter stuck a cameo of the former in Ultima II: The Revenge of the Enchantress:

That's the finish line. The problem, as always, is getting there.

It's generally accepted that each Ultima game features the same individual as protagonist—that is, that the same repeat isekaiee stars in each major installment of the series. Assuming that this is true, and that this protagonist—referred to by lore as "The Stranger" or "The Avatar"—is the same dude whichever game they're in, Owen Garriott has a Ryu Number of at most 4.

That said, early installments of the Ultima series were a bit iffy on whether the protagonist was the same individual game to game, so maybe you're iffy, too. Fair enough! You can still get a Ryu Number of at most 4 for Owen Garriott following an alternate route.

Apologies if you're learning it just now, but there's a fighting game where you can have Santa Claus and the Buddha duke it out. It's on Steam. Jesus is there, too, but Santa Claus seemed funnier.

Oh, and apparently the Buddha is in some versions of Ultima IV. You know he's the Buddha because when you talk to him he says, "I am Buddha," and says stuff at you from the Dharmapada. Which may seem odd, but if I had a list of historical or public domain individuals I wouldn't be too surprised by seeing after getting isekaied to another world, the Buddha would be up there. That's so Buddha!

"But my guy," says the imaginary version of you I've built up in my head without actually knowing you, "'Buddha' is a title. This Britannian dude could be any old Buddha! The Theravadas acknowledge twenty-nine of them, and they're on the stingy end!"

To which I say: Come on, my dude, you know that whenever anyone west of the prime meridian says "Buddha" they're talking about Gautama. Are you really gonna make me do this?

Fine.

Yes, Short Round is also in Ultima IV.

(Bonus: Non-Minecraft routes:)

[95jezzica]

Tanker om Sveriges etternavn? 👀 Er forresten enig med Björn - synes det passer veldig bra 👌

[Translation of ask in Norwegian: " Thoughts about Sweden's surname? (I) agree with Björn by the way - (I) think it fits very well. "]

.

Answer: Sure thing, and thanks!

Himaruya gave Sweden the name Berwald Oxenstierna. I've gone over my thoughts about the name Berwald in my previous post "Hws Naming Sweden", but as a short summary for those who haven't read that post (yet? 👀) :

- Even if I for various reasons personally use the name Björn instead, there's nothing inheritable wrong with the name Berwald.

.

Now; This is something that's also true for his surname - Oxenstierna, and the majority of the Hetalia fandom seem to have agreed this is most likely a reference to the man Axel Oxenstierna.

Sure, it's an unusual Swedish surname, but it exists and have done so for a very long time. However, it should also be noted that the name isn't necessarily the best fit for (hws) Sweden, since Oxenstierna is a protected surname over here and a name only descendants to the Oxenstierna family are allowed to keep.

Without going too deep into details the Oxenstierna family were very high ranking nobles in Sweden, to the point that I would argue their family is as royal you could get without the actual royal title. Heck, Axel Oxenstierna was even essentially the acting regent of Sweden when Princess (later Queen) Kristina was still a minor and King II Adolf had died.

It's partly because of this that I've begun to use the surname Steilsson (Iceland's canon surname) more for (hws) Sweden over the years instead, especially in Human AUs where I don't want Sweden to be almost royal. Personally I strongly see Nor, Den, Swe and Iceland as siblings anyway - so giving them the same surname in at least Human AUs works out just fine.

Steilsson means "son of Steil", and the format of the surname is and was very common in Scandinavia. Karlsson, Andersson, Eriksson, Johansson and Svensson are just a few other examples of common surnames in Sweden, all which essentially means "son of [name]".

Sometimes I still use Oxenstierna simply because it's the name the Hetalia fandom will recognize (& I don't want to cause too much confusion since I've already changed my Sweden's first name into Björn), but when I want to joke around a bit and/or need another surname I give Sweden the surname Svensson instead.

Svensson is a very common surname here in Sweden, but since the name Sven means "the Swede" this also means the surname Svensson basically means "the Swede, the son of the Swede". And that's why my humor finds it hilarious to give (hws) Sweden the surname Svensson. xD

.

In all honesty (hws) Sweden's surname is very versatile and can be adapted a lot depending on how you view the Nordics or even what kind of fanwork you're doing, such as nation-verse or Human AU. The only one I would actively recommend against is giving Sweden the surname Køhler (Den's fanon surname) or Bondevik (one of Nor's canon surnames).

Køhler because I have a very hard time imagining Sweden would ever keep a Danish surname with Danish spelling, and Bondevik because of the bad connections with the name in Norway.

Given how popular the pairing is, I will mention that in a SuFin scenario I even encourage the surname Väinämöinen over Finland taking's Sweden's surname. Väinämöinen is a powerful name I doubt (hws) Finland would want to change anyway.

[. For those who know me it's no secret I like SuFin as a pairing, but I also I feel a iffy about how many SuFin-fans still seem almost obsessed with making Finland out to be "Sweden's small, cutie, wife". <.<

Personally I think letting Finland keep Väinämöinen as his surname would also help highlight the fact Finland is Sweden's equal in a relationship, and hopefully remind people that Finland is an incredible strong and independent nation of his own. Again though, that's what I think. ]

.

To summarize this long post:

Use Oxenstierna if you want, people. It isn't necessarily wrong - it just doesn't exactly fit either. Especially in human AUs when you don't want Sweden to be almost royal. At the same time it's the name most of the Hetalia fandom will recognize.

However, if you want another surname then Sweden's name is very versatile and there are many different options you can go with - a few examples being Steilsson, Svensson ("the Swede, son of the Swede" 😂 xD) or even Väinämöinen depending on what you write/draw.

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Once again a long post, but I hope you all enjoy this! 😄

Thanks for the ask, iFindus!

[starrynite7114]

snapshots: fostering II

A/N: Good morning beautiful people! I posted in a previous post regarding why I haven’t update, but basically, I got COVID and it was just not a fun time. 

I am back with an update! This one took some time since I could hardly concentrate while i was out. But I finally have an update. These are the following updates I plan on posting in no specific order.

EZ request

Lake Part Two

Sex Guru Angel

Everything is you: part 12

Another EZ update

Rio request

Two Daddy Angel request: Snuggling and Trip to the aquarium 

That’s my plan before going back to school at the end of the month. Given, I may sneak in a few things in between those things I have mentioned above. 

Prior to me getting sick, I turned off anon, but I have turned it on again. Hopefully New Year, no hate? Regardless, my inbox is open!

Enjoy the update! Love you all!

Shoutout: To my better half, @angelreyesgirl, thank you for helping me map out the rest of the fostering chapters. And thank you for just being fucking you. I LOVE YOU, even though you put me through emotional turmoil with our shows, especially last night. lol 

Groupchat for updates! Please join since the tags could be a bit iffy at times!

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know! My tag list is a little messy, but please let me know if you want to be added!

Masterlist

Snapshots

Word count: 4786

Warnings: Fluff, Infertility, a smidge of angst

CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL GIF MAKER

“You did tell Angel right?” Gilly helped you bring in the crib his cousin had graciously let you borrow into your home. 

You looked at Gilly as you held the six month old in your arms, who was comfortably sleeping. You and Angel had discussed the possibility of fostering, but there was no final decision that was made. The agency called you and it was an emergency after the baby was brought to an emergency room last night by his mother and was taken away since the mother had tested positive for amphetamines. Since it was an emergent situation, the social worker begged you to take the kid for a few days while they got him situated. You figured it would be a good start for you and Angel was out of town due to an extended run up north.

“It’s just for a few days.” 

Gilly groaned, placing the crib in your room. “That literally did not answer my question, yet it fucking answered my question.” He shook his head. “You have to tell Angel. There’s no guarantee the kid is going to be gone by the time he comes back and what if they head back early?”

“Eva said three days tops. And Angel literally told me they won’t be back till the weekend. The baby will be situated with a foster family by then.” 

And somehow, Gilly didn’t believe that. 

Gilly helped you set up the crib and buy a few things for the baby such as snacks, formula, diapers, and wipes. He watched as you settled on the couch with the baby boy.

“What was the name of the kid again?” Gilly questioned as he settled on the arm chair. 

“Believe it or not, it’s Angelo.” You chuckled. Looking down at the baby in your arms, your heart swelled. It further cemented that you wanted to try this whole fostering thing, to see foster children while they wait for their forever homes. Though, you know it would be difficult, it was a first step. You knew that you and Angel weren’t exactly ready to adopt yet, so you opted to be an emergency foster parent when the need arose. You just didn’t expect it to happen as quickly as it did. 

“Oh man, you’re not going to be able to part from this one.” Gilly saw the way your eyes marveled at the baby in your arms. The way you were holding the child, smiling at every little movement. The baby looked incredibly comfortable in your arms, smiling whenever you smiled at him. Angelo would laugh this hearty laugh when you would make faces at him.

Ares entered the living room, taking his usual spot beside you. He eyed the baby curiously and looked up at Gilly, before looking back down at the baby.

“Wow, now it’s going to be Angel and Ares fighting the baby for your attention.”

“No it won’t because the baby isn’t staying long.” 

“Come on Y/N, you honestly believe you’re going to be able to give Angelo back knowing his mother is a drug addict.” Gilly could just see the wheels turn in your head, your heart clenching at the idea of having to give back Angelo to such an unstable home. 

“Look, stop, I can give Angelo back, regardless of his mother’s choices, I heard that she tried her best to care for Angelo.” You were thankful that Angelo didn’t appear to be harmed by whatever his mother chose to do in her life. 

“She’s been getting by with luck. But you should tell Angel so he doesn’t freak out when he comes home and you have a baby.” 

“Guessing keeping this a secret is out of the question?” You gave him a sheepish smile.

“Oh no, absolutely not. This is too big for you to keep to yourself.”

But you did keep it to yourself. 

And much like Gilly predicted, baby Angelo was still with you Saturday morning and Angel walked in your shared home on Saturday afternoon, doing a double take when he saw Angelo laying his head on the half circle nursing pillow with Ares laying down against the pillow, providing some sort of support as you made faces at him, blowing raspberries on his tummy. 

“What the fuck is this?” Angel knew of your intent to do fostering. You completed the classes two weeks ago, but he didn’t think it would be this quick. And he definitely didn’t expect to walk in and have a baby in his living room. And he definitely didn’t expect the dread at the pit of his stomach, feeling defeated when it came to his hope of you two conceiving your own child. He didn’t have a problem with adoption, if that’s what the cards had for you two, he didn’t mind. But being faced with the decision that you seemingly made on your own, it slightly irritated him. He felt like you were giving up without even trying.  

“Babe!” You stood up, smiling at your boyfriend. Ares lifted his head before jumping down the couch. He walked over to Angel and nuzzled his cheek against Angel’s leg. 

“Oh no, even the fucking dog is trying to sweet talk me. You’re both in fucking trouble. Baby, what the fuck?” Angel’s eyes couldn’t part from the baby on the couch. 

“I know, I know, this looks bad, but it was an emergency.”

“An emergency? Like last night? Cause I know you would have told me if you emergently had to foster a baby.” Angel walked closer as if the baby wasn’t real, that if he moved closer, it would all be an illusion. Because he knew for a fact that you would tell him something as enormous as this.

You sighed. “Try three days.”

“Three days?!” Angel gave you an incredulous look, his higher octave of tone scaring Angelo. The baby began to cry, causing you to frown. You picked up Angelo, trying your best to comfort the baby. “Y/N, this is, this is unacceptable. How can you not have told me you were fostering a baby?”

“He was supposed to be gone before you came back.” It was a terrible reason, you could attest to that, but it was all you had. 

“I don’t give a fuck, this is our home. You’re bringing in a baby into our home. I have the right to know these things. This isn’t a fucking puppy or a toy. You can’t just bring the baby in and bring it back out as if it’s nothing.” Angel didn’t think you thought of this as a game, but he knew how simple you thought things through at time. For you, just like your computer software, you make the software, test it out and hand it over to the company that requested the said software. You came to help the company from time to time, otherwise, it was no longer your headache. And that was how Angel saw your thought process was when it came to fostering. He loves you, but this was the reason he was apprehensive about the idea of fostering. Not only would you have a difficult time parting with the child when the time came, but the way you handled it wasn’t ideal. This wasn’t a toy baby for one of those subjects in high school and it wasn’t a dog that could charm their way to people’s hearts. 

This was another human life. 

And the way you handled the whole thing, it showed Angel that fostering was definitely not right, at least not right now. 

“I know he isn’t a toy or a puppy. Don’t insult my intelligence.”

“Then don’t insult mine. We’re a fucking team. Regardless if the baby was going to be here for an hour or a year, you should tell me. This is why we shouldn’t foster a child, you can’t even communicate to me that we’re fostering one.” Angel shook his head. “You’re not even going to try for a baby?”

His words pierced through your heart and you could tell Angel immediately regretted his words. 

“I’m sorry, did you say, not try for a baby?” You scoffed. “That’s rich. You’re all talk about being okay with not having your own biological child, but now, fostering a child is staring us right in the face and the only thing you can do is give me flack for bringing a child in our home.”

“I am okay with not having my own biological child, but I would at least like for us to try and explore every possible fucking option. It’s like you got one opinion and shut down. Why can’t we get a second opinion?” Angel did not want to be arguing with you. This was not how he saw his day going. He wanted to get home so he could take a nap, take you out on a nice dinner and make love to you till Sunday afternoon. Now, you two were arguing and Angel knew it wasn’t going to be swept under the rug any time soon. “I meant what I said, I want to be with you regardless if you can have a baby or not, but again, one opinion you shut down. You’re an IT specialist, you look for every way to fix a fucking problem with a software, but with your own life, you got one solution and that’s it, you gave up.”

The tears that welled up in your eyes made you look away from Angel as you rocked Angelo in your arms. You didn’t just look at one solution, you got a second opinion in Arizona and the doctor more or less told you the same thing. Rafael gave you the number of his cousin who saw a specialist in LA, but after having two opinions basically stating the same facts, it was hard to hear over and over again that couldn’t have a child. 

“You know, you can be a real asshole at times.” You walked away from Angel, Ares following suit as you closed the door, choosing not to slam it since Angelo finally calmed down. 

“Fuck!” 

=================

You were laying on the bed, Ares at your feet and Angelo sleeping soundly right beside you. You had a long body pillow on his one side and you on the other. The tears have subsided, but you were still quite upset at Angel. You understood why he was upset, you should have told him about the baby, there was no rhyme or reason as to why you didn’t. You sniffled, wiping your nose as you had your hand on Angelo’s little tummy, watching him as he slept. A new batch of tears formed in your eyes as reality set in that you could never truly have this, a child created by you and Angel. A child with Angel’s smile and beautiful brown eyes. A child with a mixture of your personalities. 

It upset you that you couldn’t give that to Angel. The fact he assumed that you didn’t look at other options hurt you, but, it’s not like you told him either. 

You felt Ares rest his head on your calf, his warmth bringing some comfort to you. Hearing the door open, you closed your eyes, not ready for another showdown with Angel. You heard him sigh as he closed the door. You weren’t certain if he walked back out or was inside the room, but you kept your eyes closed.

The bed dipped under his weight. You felt him rest his hand above yours that was on Angelo’s tummy. 

“I wish you knew just how much I love you. Seeing you with a baby is painful because I know you’re hurting more than anyone else about your current predicament. It’s the reason why I don’t want us to foster, at least not yet. Knowing you can’t have a child, I know it’s killing you and I’m just trying to protect you.” You felt Angel softly squeezed your hand. “You’re the love of my life, if I can protect you from the world I would.”

You weren’t sure what you did to deserve Angel’s love, but hearing him say those words, it made your heart swell.

You felt him move, most likely getting in a more comfortable position. 

“What are we going to do with you little man?” You heard Angel sigh. 

Angel heard the faint cries at first and he was going back to sleep when he realized it was the baby. He cracked an eye open and saw Angelo on his belly, his face scrunched up, small cries coming from his lips. Ares lifted his head and was about to stand up when Angel gestured for him to stay down. 

“Hey papa’s, you doing okay?” Angel had his fair share of babysitting jobs when he was younger so he knew how to care for a baby, but this was different. This baby was technically under your care and it wasn’t someone he could give back at the end of the day. It was one of the things he feared too. You two didn’t know what kind of baby or kid you would end up with. What if they ended up becoming serial killers?

Angel knew it was ridiculous, but he thought of your safety, that was his main priority. 

Angel picked up Angelo, holding the baby in his arms. He stood up, hoping he could rock Angelo back to sleep, but the cries came before he could do anything. Moving towards the kitchen, he hoped you prepared bottles for the baby since he didn’t exactly know how much formula to use or the ratio with water and such. Thankfully there was a bottle. He warmed up the bottle and checked the temperature. Once it was good, he placed the nipple at Angelo’s mouth which he gladly sucked on. Angel chuckled, making his way over to the couch to sit down. Ares joined him, resting his head on Angelo’s legs.

“At least you adjusted well to him.” Angel sighed, watching as Angelo greedily drank the milk. “Man, you’re hungry.” Ares adjusted himself and watched Angelo drinking his milk. “Don’t get used to him, we can’t keep him.” Ares looked over at Angel and for once, Angel saw this demon dog of yours give him the puppy dog eyes. “That only works on your mom, not on me, nope.” He looked down at Angelo and he assisted him by holding the bottle for him. “Wonder why she had to take you in so suddenly.”

When Angelo finished his bottle, Angel burped him, moving to sit back down. Angelo reached for the necklace around Angel’s neck that rested on his chest. Angel watched as the infant became enamored with the necklace, playing with it, slightly tugging on it. He laughed, the sound slightly startling Angelo before a smile broke out on his own face. Angel couldn’t believe he was thinking it, but all he wanted was to keep that smile on this precious baby boy.

“Oh no,” Angel groaned. 

Ares sat up, pawing at Angelo and Angel petted him under his neck, and just shook his head. 

“I think he’s cute too, but we can’t keep him.” Ares scoffed and turned away from Angel, laying down. “You can throw a tantrum all you want, but we’re not keeping the baby.” Angel shook his head. “I have no idea what she got in her head, but we can’t keep you little man.”

Angelo snuggled his face against Angel’s shirt, the gesture making Angel’s heart melt further. As much as he wanted to keep Angelo, he didn’t know how good of an idea that was. You two were still working on your relationship and he still wanted to try to get a second opinion for what was going on. He had faith that miracles could occur, but as he said, he didn’t mind if you two ended up adopting. But he wanted to at least try, to at least put the effort of having a child. He saved up money and he was certain your medical insurance would help with it. 

=================

Before you knew it, sleep overtook you and when you awoke it was due to Angel waking you up.

“Baby,” Angel shook you awake, your eyes blinking adjusting to the light. “We need to get more diapers. What size are his diapers?”

You yawned and pointed at your closet. “He has more in there.”

Angel nodded his head and went inside the closet, taking a diaper before laying Angelo right next to you. Sitting up, you looked down at him and looked over at Angel. 

“I didn’t hear him cry.” You commented.

“Yeah, I know, he started getting fussy so I picked him up.” Angel cooed at Angelo as he picked him up. “What’s his name?”

“Angelo.”

“No shit,” Angel smiled. 

“Right?” You returned his smile. Watching Angel hold Angelo, it made you tear up all over again. You wanted this so badly for Angel, for Angel to have his own child and seeing this, it made you happy yet, it saddened you. Maybe you should call the doctor in LA just to see if the third time’s the charm. 

He looked up at you and sighed. “I hate fighting with you.”

“Me too.” You frowned. “I’m sorry for not communicating it to you that Angelo was here. I don’t even know what I was thinking.”

“Just make sure it doesn’t happen again. You can’t just drop a baby on us. We have to discuss this, we’ve always been a team, that hasn’t changed.” Angel reminded you.

“I know,” you crawled over to him and Angel held you with his free arm, pulling you against him. “I think the excitement of having him, it just threw me off and I guess I was being a little selfish. And maybe some part of me wanted to surprise you.”

“Consider me surprised querida.” Angel kissed you. Pulling away, he looked down at Angelo, who was just looking at you two then back at you. “Fuck, I’m going to get used to this and it’s going to suck when he leaves. What’s his story?”

You proceeded to tell Angel the story of how you gained emergency custody of Angelo. You saw how Angel’s eyes softened and the anger that also appeared.

“That’s messed up. How can,” Angel paused and shook his head. “We can’t give him back to her.” Angel’s overprotectiveness has come out and you knew that letting go of Angelo was going to be difficult on you both. 

“Angel, babe, I agree, but she still has custody.” You had temporary custody of Angelo, once things settled with his mother, they would most likely give him back to her. You truly hoped the report was right and that his mother just recently relapsed and was working on getting better, but addiction was hard to kick. 

“She’s an unfit mother.” Angel spat out. He shouldn’t be preaching, he killed people and was part of a heroin trade, but he would never endanger a child.

“Babe, we don’t know that.”

“Don’t know that?” Angel scoffed. “She continued to do drugs with her child in the same home as her, that’s unforgivable.” 

You loved how passionate Angel felt about Angelo. He’s only known him for a few hours and he loved the little guy already. It made you smile and you hugged Angel once again, which surprised him. He sighed and kissed the top of your head, his attention back on Angelo.

“I was so worried that you couldn’t give him back, but I think it’s going to be me.” Angel chuckled. “How come you still have him?”

“Thanksgiving is next week, guess people aren’t in a rush to handle the case.” You shrugged. “We have to talk about the possibility of keeping Angelo. It’s a long shot, I doubt his mother would give up custody, but maybe we should discuss it in case it is presented to us.” 

“I’m in.”

Angel’s reply surprised you. It’s not that you didn’t think Angel was going to be on board, but you two just argued earlier about having biological children and now, he was on board with keeping Angelo.

“What?” You pulled away from him, choosing to sit on the bed. Ares laid beside you, laying his head on your thigh. “We literally just argued about having biological children, and now you want to keep him?”

“I never said I didn’t want to adopt a child with you. I’m on board with whatever you want mami, you know this. But I just want you to at least consider getting a second opinion.” Angel began to rock Angelo back and forth, the baby falling asleep in his arms rather easily. Placing Angelo in his crib, Angel leaned on the wall beside his crib. “I want everything with you. I meant what I said when I told you I was okay with not having children of our own, but I want you to at least explore every fucking option.”

“You don’t think I did that?”

“I don’t know baby, did you?” 

“I got a second opinion in Arizona and the doctor basically told me the same thing. I wanted to come back to you Angel, but if I came back, I wanted us to have an option to have a child together.” You confessed. “When you came for me, I knew it was a matter of time before you broke down through my walls and I was back in your arms. But before I came back, I wanted for us to know our options. So I got the second opinion and it still wasn’t great news.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know, I was already disappointed that we can’t have kids and the way you reacted the first time frightened me. I figured you didn’t want to hear another disappointing fact about me.” You were mostly disappointed in yourself. You knew it wasn’t something you could control, but knowing you couldn’t have a family in the traditional sense, it hurt. 

Angel moved to kneel in front of you, taking your hands that were on your lap. “From now on, we talk about everything, regardless of disappointment or whatever. I love you. Let me be your support system. I know you’re used to counting on yourself, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s been us against the world since we were thirteen fucking years old and that hasn’t changed. Regardless of what’s occurred the last six months, that hasn’t changed. You’re my girl and I’m yours.” 

You nodded your head, wiping your tears away. “There’s a third option Rafael told me about. It’s in LA.”

“Okay, make an appointment, we’ll go.” Angel rested his arms on your lap, his hands holding your hips. 

“Angel, maybe we should wait till after the holidays, I don’t know if I really want such sad news during the holidays.”

“Nope, let’s do it, regardless of the results, I’m here for you. We’ll face it together. Make the appointment for next week and we’ll handle this.” Angel cupped your face, bringing your lips to his. 

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed. Maybe we should just give it time.”

“Nope, this is your defense mechanism, putting shit off. Fuck no baby, let’s meet with the doctor and we’ll go from there.” 

“What if it’s the same results? That’s what’s killing me Angel.”

“Then we’ll think of other ways.” He pursed his lips. “I know it’s hard, but don’t you want to explore every option so we can at least look back on this twenty years from now and know we did everything we could to have children?”

Angel got you there. You wanted to live life with no regrets and he was right. When you looked back on this moment years from now, you want to know you tried every option.

“I understand the fear of disappointment, but there is no disappointment if we know we tried every viable option that we had.”

“When did you get so wise?” 

Angel chuckled. “Coco is rubbing off on me.” He kissed you again, wrapping his arms around you. 

“I’ll make the appointment.” 

“Good, just let me know when and we can make a day out of it. I can visit my tio and tia while we’re there.” 

You smiled, nodding your head at his suggestion. You picked up your phone and noticed a missed call from Eva. Before you could even call her back, the doorbell rang. Angel made his way to the front door to answer the door. You followed after him and found Eva with her usual purse and folders in arms. 

“Hey Eva!” You greeted. “I was just about to return your call, we had a nap.”

Eva chuckled. “You’re fine, I figured you were napping or occupied with a seven month old child.” 

“This is my boyfriend, Angel.” You introduced the two finally since you usually just mentioned them to one another. 

“Very nice to finally meet you Angel.” Eva shook Angel’s outstretched hand.

“Likewise.” 

Eva was in her mid-forties, her hair style reminded you of a 50’s housewife. It fit her face well and she was honestly one of the kindest people you knew.

“It’s five in the afternoon on a Saturday, you’re still working?” Angel commented as you all sat down in the living room. 

“Yes well work never stops.” Eva shrugged with a content smile on her face. You knew Eva was a workaholic. Many social workers have gotten a bad reputation these past few years, but Eva always seemed so genuine to you. “But, I want to make this visit quick and hopefully it’ll work out for all of us.”

“Sure, what’s going on?” You were seated beside Angel, your hand in his.

“Angelo’s mother has given up custody of Angelo and I was wondering if you would be interested in fostering him till we can handle all the necessary paperwork.” Eva was hopeful. She saw how you quickly bonded with Angelo and the last few times she’s seen that occur, the child ended up being adopted by their foster parents. And if she was being honest, she was hoping this would be the case here. “Or if you’re interested, maybe you would like to adopt Angelo.” You were an ideal candidate. Regardless of your marital status, you had a steady, stable job and you also had a home and a good support system. 

You looked at Angel who squeezed your hand, placing a kiss on the back of it. “You already know how I feel.”

“We would love to adopt Angelo.” You said quickly, Eva laughing at your enthusiasm and clapped her hands together. 

“I knew you would, this is perfect. I’ll handle the paperwork, but I wouldn’t expect anything till after Thanksgiving. Honestly, I do not foresee any trouble with the proceedings, especially since his mother gave up custody of Angelo to the state.” Eva stood up. “I will keep in touch, but have a very happy thanksgiving and I will speak to you both after next week.”

“Yeah, of course.” You were in disbelief how quickly everything was happening, but it made you feel as if it was meant to be, that everything was just simply falling into place. You and Angel said your goodbyes to Eva and as soon as the front door was closed and locked by Angel, you ran over to him.

Angel caught you, your legs and arms wrapping around him. Your lips were on his, one of Angel’s arms rested around you and his hand cupped your face. Pulling away, you rested your forehead against Angel’s.

“Fuck, baby, this is so quick.” You wanted to scream in joy, but Angelo was taking a nap. You felt Ares nudging your back, wanting to join the festivities. Going back on the ground, you hugged Ares, happy that you got to keep Angelo after all.

“It’s just things falling into place baby.” Angel sat on the floor next to you, Ares coming to Angel and giving him kisses. 

“We have a baby.” You breathed out. You rested your head on Angel’s shoulders. “Holy shit, we’re parents.”

Angel laughed. “You’re really stuck with me now. Cause if you even try to leave, I’ll take our kid and the dog.”

You laughed along with Angel. The appointment for next week made you nervous, even though you weren’t sure if you would even be able to book an appointment. Regardless, whatever the outcome of next week was, you were happy that you had Angelo. 

You and Angel were building your family.

That was the most important thing to you. 

=================

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[voldiebuns]

Horror Movie a Day 2020

The past couple of years I’ve done a challenge of trying to watch a horror movie a day through the month of October. Last year didn’t go well since I was so busy travelling, so I’m hoping for better this time around!

Under the cut you'll find my list of watched movies, plus rating and some thoughts about them. I’ll also be posting every day at my film twitter. Lemme know if you have any suggestions for what I should watch this month!

Hereditary (2018) | ★★★☆☆ This movie was... not at all what I was expecting from trailers and such. The devil worshiping angle was definitely a surprise, which I didn't entirely mind, but the first and second halves of the movie felt very disjointed from one another because of it. There were some good moments, but all in all, not entirely sure I liked the movie.

Parasite (2019) | ★★★★☆ More a thriller than horror, but I make the rules! I enjoyed this one a lot for the sense of tension it achieves even when not a whole lot of “action” was going on until close to the end. And of course how well it depicts class differences and how deeply affecting poverty is. Very good.

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959) | ★★☆☆☆ Granted, this is over 60 years old now, but it’s still very bad. And not even in a particularly fun way. It’s honestly pretty boring and not scary at all... But at least it was short!

Piranha (1972) | ★☆☆☆☆ So 70s it hurts lol And also so boring it hurts. I spent most of the movie wondering when something was actually going to happen. But the real thing I wonder now is why this was in my sharks, piranhas, and monsters movie pack because there’s approximately two seconds of actual piranhas in this and they’re not even really attacking anyone?? I think they may have included the wrong Piranha because the picture on the cover is... not this movie lol

Them! (1954) | ★★☆☆☆ I actually thought it seemed pretty well made for the time, but it was definitely very slow. Interesting as a reflection of US nuclear fears, which I don’t think gets seen as much in movies, though!

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009) | ★★☆☆☆ This is... so bad. I’m pretty sure their budget had to be like $5 and half a gig of stock footage, but even aside from the godawful CGI, the cinematography is almost unbelievably awful and the acting is often cringeworthy. It also wasn’t particularly fun? But the romance was actually kind of cute.

Mega Piranha (2010) | ★☆☆☆☆ I honestly can’t even count the ways this was a terrible movie lol And still, not even in a particularly fun way! More cringe than cheese, which was really just disappointing.

Beneath Loch Ness (2001) | ★★★☆☆ This was actually really not bad. The graphics were incredibly 2001, but it came off as very heartfelt and the characters and their relationships felt real in a way they tend not to in these kinds of movies. I enjoyed it!

30,000 Leagues Under the Sea (2007) | ★★☆☆☆ Not really a horror movie, but in a pack with my other sea creature horror movies so it'll do. Production value was terrible and the plot was sketchy, but it had some interesting bits. Overall a pretty hearty meh for this one.

Tremors (1990) | ★★★★☆ First rewatch of the year! It's been years, though, and I needed a refresher before watching the rest. This movie is basically the floor is lava with killer worms and I love it lol A really fun movie!

Tremors II: Aftershocks (1996) | ★★★☆☆ Earl without Val was not quite so much fun, but they did some cool things with the graboids. Plus many more explosions! Biggest complaint is the puppets and CGI didn't always mesh well.

Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001) | ★★★☆☆ Wish they'd stop ruining things with worse and worse CGI lol This one got a bit goofy even compared to the others, but it was overall still fun!

Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004) | ★★★★☆ This one was really fun! I loved that they went back to the beginning of the town, especially since it was easy to see how it became Perfection in the end. I think it's the best one, tied with the original.

Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015) | ★★★☆☆ The cinematography on this one was sometimes very weird. And the Jurassic Park homages went a bit past "homage" at point imo. But still a pretty fun watch.

Poltergeist (1982) | ★★★★☆ I think I'd seen this before, but I really couldn't remember. Either way, it holds up pretty well! Very engaging and creepy weird, with some good gross moments too.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) | ★★★★☆ Very enjoyable! Tim Burton's style meshed very well with the story, and of course the cast was full of wonderful actors. Unfortunate that Depp stars in it, but what can you do?

Underworld (2003) | ★★★★☆ Not horror exactly, but definitely adjacent enough. Great aesthetic and very enjoyable (re)watch! Also I super appreciated the soundtrack lol

Lake Placid (1999) | ★★★★☆ After I started watching, I realize I think I've seen this before. Still enjoyed it! The characters are definitely the draw more than the croc, though. Would have liked to see a bit more of it

Ghost Town (2009) | ★★☆☆☆ Holy bad acting and shaky cam Batman! Terrible movie with the barest hint of an interesting one beneath, but I think my biggest complaint is there was a Wiccan ritual being done... in the 1800s lol

The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane (1976) | ★★★☆☆ There were really no horror elements in this to speak of, which I found a bit disappointing, and I also didn't feel like it had a very satisfactory ending. But I did enjoy the movie for the most part. I guess I just wanted more.

The Witches (1990) | ★★★☆☆ Mostly just pretty goofy, but a fun watch and it felt very seasonal. Anjelica Huston was, of course, the best part! Though I'm always happy to see Jim Henson puppetry as well.

The Silence of the Lambs (1991) | ★★★★☆ This was uh dated in several ways that make it a bit of an uncomfortable watch. But I really did enjoy it! The Clarice/Hannibal dynamic was even better than I'd been expecting.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) | ★★★☆☆ Wow, that was something else lol Something absolutely ridiculous and incredibly weird, but also very fun! I really enjoyed the main three characters and the music too.

Insidious (2010) | ★★★★☆ Such a good sense of tension in this! A lot of that was thanks to the music tbh, but I do think James Wan just has a really good feel for horror. Also, a very good ending, I'm definitely excited to see 2!

Malevolent (2018) | ★★★☆☆ A fairly enjoyable movie, but it just felt a little lacking and it seemed like the end came up really quickly. To be honest it wasn't quite what I was expecting. I wish there would have been a bit more with the ghosts.

The Conjuring (2013) | ★★★★☆ A rewatch since it's been a few years since I watched it. Very enjoyable movie with good music, great tension, and some actually good jump scares. The Annabelle stuff seems disconnected to the rest, though, I wish that had been more tied in.

Annabelle (2014) | ★★★☆☆ This movie dragged quite a bit and I feel like things could have been compressed quite a bit and it would have been better. The cult connection also could have been explored a lot more imo, because it felt a bit slapped

The Last House on the Left (2009) | ★★☆☆☆ Way too much sexualized violence for my tastes tbh, but I liked the concept and the cast was very good. I think I'll try the original sometime and see how it compares.

The Amityville Horror (2005) | ★★★☆☆ I feel like I may have seen this before? Not really worth the rewatch lol Like this movie is fine I guess, it just felt a bit empty and was overall unsatisfying to me.

The Crazies (2010) | ★★★★★ I was a little iffy going into this bc I thought it might be zombie-esque, and it was, but I really enjoyed it! I liked what they did with the government satellite especially.

Midsommar (2019) | ★★★★★ I was expecting this to be good since I’d heard good things about it, and it so was! The sense of strangeness and building tension was excellent. And it was just such a beautiful movie tbh.

[apenitentialprayer]

So, a friend introduced me to Sabaton recently (as in, less than 48 hours ago), and I really like a bunch of their songs. I especially liked The Winged Hussars and The Last Stand; some of the lyrics of the last one (“Dying for salvation with dedication / No capitulation, annihilation /[...]/ Heaven is your destination”) got me thinking about the nature of martyrdom in Christianity vs. the nature of martyrdom in Islam. Because the sentiment expressed in the song has always been a bit ambiguous in Christianity. There’s a joke post on this site about someone asking Catholics how to get into heaven through violence, and someone jokingly responds “That’s called a Crusade, and you need the Pope’s permission first.” But that’s not quite true. The indulgence granted by Pope Urban II wasn’t granted for conquering Jerusalem; it was granted to those who died on the pilgrimage to Jerusalem... which also just happened to have the objective of conquering the city too. The fact that Urban formulated the indulgence in this way reveals the uneasiness of condoning violence as a salvific agent. The fact of the matter is, dying in combat has always been an iffy topic when it comes to Christian martyrdom. In popular stories, like the Song of Roland, you do have people dying while killing, and being celebrated as a martyr while doing so. But then you have real incidences where the Church refuses to commit to giving such people that designation; the Church risked damaging her relationship with King Louis IX, of all people, by refusing to grant his brother (who died on Crusade with him) the status of martyr. Keep in mind that this man was very devout, and probably the most devoted monarch to the Church (both spatially, comparing him to his contemporaries, and temporally, compared to the French monarchs that came before and after him), and the Church still dug her heels in. This is very different in Islam; from very early on, the designation of shahīd came to encompass not only those who were tortured and killed for their faith (Sumayyah bint Khabbat comes to mind), but also those who were killed while fighting for the cause of Islam (Zayd ibn Haritha, ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib, Husayn ibn ‘Ali, etc). Part of the way that this worked out probably has to do with the fact that Muhammad was a warlord (I mean that without any pejorative sense); when the perfect man fights and kills without problem, it’s easier to create a war-time theology. Compare that to Christianity; while Christians do venerate warlords (Abraham and Moses), their perfect Man and literal God resigns Himself to a sacrificial death. Christians did extend “martyrdom” to encompass more than the narrow definition of being tortured and killed for one’s faith: the practice of asceticism. Asceticism essentially becomes a type of “long-term martyrdom,” where instead of suffering intensely for a short period until you die, you suffer chronically for years and years. Ironically, asceticism has always been an ambiguous form of martyrdom in Islam; you do have traditions that equate the two, like ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib’s statement that those who refuse to submit to bodily lusts will be treated as martyrs, but the types of Islam that have accepted the equation of asceticism with martyrdom (Sufis) have always had a complicated relationship with the jurists who shaped Muslim orthodoxy. I’m not sure where I’m going with this; it’s just interesting how Christians have historically viewed being murdered for one’s faith and asceticism as forms of unambiguous martyrdom while having ambivalent feelings about dying in war for a Christian cause being considered martyrdom, while Muslims have viewed being murdered for one’s faith and dying in war for an Islamic cause as forms of unambiguous martyrdom while having ambivalent feelings about asceticism.

[hwallout]

our little secret (ii) - csy

summary: as a CEO of one of the country’s most powerful companies, you had your secrets to success. no one ever gained power without ruthless, filthy and unfair play, it’s all okay if no one knows right? well, what happens when your little secrets fall into the hands of someone you can’t get rid of that easily?

words: 4,8k

genre: angst, drama, future smut

warnings: language

early an: hi im sorry for the wait, it’s been a tough ride these last two weeks. hopefully, this was worth it <3 also our company now has a name yay! feedback is appreciated again, thank you for reading! 

[part one]

[part three]

[part four]

You thought about the whole situation in the upcoming days. Hayoon was right; Seungyoun wasn’t someone you could simply have killed and then bribe the police to throw the case under the mat. You thought that it could be an easy job, something that demanded just a little bit of planning and a lot more money to get done – only if wasn’t for one other factor.

The actual problem wasn’t Seungyoun, he was just one link in an endless chain. What you were most worried about was his father. Mr.Cho was a man who played the same game and used similar tactics to yours. It was his alliances, connections (that you knew the number of was way bigger than yours) that actually held you back from actively acting upon the issue.

No matter how much money you put into the country’s best hitmen, Mr. Cho would have you found out – it was just the fact that he could always be a step ahead of you. Experience played a big part in this game of monopoly. There were only so many of the best assassins in this country that it often happened two opposing sides hired the same person. The only matter was just how much money was offered to keep a secret hidden.

What you were thankful for though, was the fact that Seungyoun and his father never had the strongest of trust bonds. For years now, you’ve been listening to media exaggerating Seungyoun’s wishes of pursuing music instead of business. They would skyrocket every type of misbehavior from the younger, often saying how he wanted to sabotage his father by not showing up on important meetings or being rude to the representatives from other companies.  

On the other hand, many articles wrote about the fact that the deals Seungyoun agreed to ended up being the most profitable for the Cho enterprise. His father, though, would never admit to Seungyoun’s involvement, usually saying that he was there to learn, not to make decisions.

Mr. Cho was always hesitant about leaving work to Seungyoun, despite all of his positive attributes, purely because of the other’s undying wish to pursue music. The CEO was so unsure, even though his son wasn’t a child anymore, that he was anywhere near ready to take over the main position. He doubted everything, nitpicked every little mistake and often deemed him unprofessional.  

Seungyoun probably thought that with this information, he has secured the most legitimate and safe deal for his father. Maybe Seungyoun thought that it was his role to somewhat guard the whole situation, to prevent you from screwing Mr.Cho over and favoring yourself too much in the whole project. You couldn’t blame the younger, for he wanted to for once do satisfactory work for the older.  

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?), due to the bumpy history, it was easy to conclude that his daddy would never believe him so easily. Although pitiful, that was the strongest knot you could hold onto to still have a chance in this fight.

Although it always happened, you hoped that somehow this time it wouldn’t. Celebration parties were something INVICTA planned whenever an important deal was signed. Considering that you’d always invite the employees and the CEO of the other corporation, there would consistently be a lot to do and talk about. The workers found it a way to meet new people and have a night out in a formal setting – while you thought it was a great time to discuss any important matters or just get to know your associates better.

This time though, you were very iffy about it. The planning and invitations were prolonged up until Hayoon confidently came up to the office and (respectfully) ushered you to hurry up. The employees are looking forward to the celebration, she’d say. Oh, how you wished to brush the smaller off with a who cares, but truthfully, it was you. The staff in this company were very important and respected. You grew up with the mindset that lower in position didn’t mean lower as a person, therefore such replies weren't anywhere near moral.

Not long after, you got to work, reserving a beautiful and fancy restaurant for Friday night, hiring a great soloist to sing live and sending invitations to everyone in the company as well as to Mr. Cho.  

Consequently, there you were, walking up the stairs to the entrance, looking like a princess. Dark blue high heels hit the marble surface in an even rhythm, a beautiful dress of the same shade falling graciously behind you. It was a perfect fit, not too tight, but still deliciously hugging every part of your body. The dress was shorter at the front, with lace covering its hem. Your back was exposed, the V cut dipping as low, while the front exposed just enough cleavage to run one’s imagination wild.

Interestingly enough, you weren’t alone tonight.

The one holding your hand carefully and leading you up the stairs was a guy named Seungwoo. His suit of choice matched yours, a completely dark blue suit paired up with a black shirt underneath and black dress shoes. The first couple of buttons were unbuttoned, showcasing just the smallest glimpse of his chest tattoo.  

You’ve known Seungwoo for quite a while now, the male being one of your dearest friends. It wasn’t a surprise when he was asked to be your +1 for tonight, not only but mostly because you needed someone close to be there.

It was expected that the guests would notice your entrance, but it wasn't quite anticipated that every single pair of eyes would be locked on you. Most females ogled Seungwoo’s appearance, tall, with his slicked-back black hair, broad shoulders and tiny waist, while men drank your own appearance up. And of course, so did Seungyoun.

The male somehow managed to spot Mr. Cho before you did, leading the way towards the elder confidently. When only a few steps away, Seungwoo made sure you were okay alone, before excusing himself for a quick minute. You looked after as he walked away, noticing all the stares he was getting while being so effortlessly breathtaking.  

“Your boyfriend seems to be the life of the party too,” Mr. Cho said, his tone warm and welcoming. The other seemed to approach you quietly, for his presence went by unnoticed before he spoke. You bowed politely, bidding a polite greeting, before taking a second to process said words. A look of confusion washed over your features, for you weren’t sure what to reply with. Did it even matter?

Suddenly, Seungyoun stepped forwards from behind his father, making his presence known with a fake cough and slight bow. Seungyoun looked you up and down, but the emotion in his beautiful features didn’t change – blank, unmoved, much like always.

“Yeah, he really does” You smiled, choosing to once again look in the direction Seungwoo disappeared in, purely for a more convincing effect. At that moment, explaining that the mentioned male wasn’t your boyfriend appeared to be way too much effort; white lies never hurt anyone, right?

Except, you missed the way Seungyoun frowned at the reply, his tongue prodding at the left cheek right after.  

“It’s very nice of You to honor Your achievements with a celebration for everyone. This is a very enjoyable event, thank You for inviting us” Mr. Cho continued, taking a sip of white wine from his glass. He watched all of the employees from the Cho enterprise having fun, talking and dancing with both their coworkers but also your own people. Smiles were evident on their faces and everyone seemed to be enjoying their time.

“We should look up to this” Unfortunately, Seungyoun wasn’t paying any attention, nodding along but not really hearing what the elder had said. What he focused on were your eyes that skimmed over everyone, a small smile of satisfaction playing on your lips. Maybe there were moments when your strictness surfaced, but you loved when employees were content. That is exactly why this company was one of the strongest.

The words died out, awkward silence filled the small space. Investments, projects, plans, expectations, hesitations, so, so many topics, but no one made any effort to begin the conversation. Maybe for once, you needed to take a break from such routines and go have fun.

Fortunately, as if ordered, the doors to the restaurant opened again, revealing yet another beautiful pair. It was your assistant Eunha and her fiancée Jacob. Both of them were dressed in matching colors, looking like the most alluring people on Earth. It wouldn’t be a lie to say that Eunha was the most charming female tonight.

Using the instance to escape the building awkwardness, you excused yourself and hurried towards the two. Eunha’s face lit up immediately upon noticing a breathtaking princess approaching, beaming at just how astonishing her boss looked.  

Jacob was the first one to bow, with you following quickly after, happy to finally see the fiancé Eunha constantly blabbered about. She only ever talked highly about the man and was always extremely happy to hear the news of a +1 for any event. Unfortunately, the other seemed to be a busy man, for he has never been able to accompany his fiancée – up until today.

“Miss! You look absolutely prepossessing tonight” Eunha said, eyes roaming over your body quick. She spoke with a wide smile and stars in her eyes, a clear indicator that the words were a hundred percent sincere. The assistant was never hard to read, emotions always showing on her features without any filter. Maybe that’s exactly why she has been chosen for the job.

You offered an honest smile in return and complimented the female back with equally as warm words, before turning towards the other. Jacob looked at you with expectant but also excited eyes as you offered one hand out for a handshake.

“Ah, I suppose You’re Jacob, right?” The male nodded along, accepting the handshake with a tight grip, “I’ve heard a lot of nice things about You, it’s a pleasure to finally be able to meet You”. Jacob listened to the words carefully, immediately turning towards his fiancée upon processing what you have said. Eunha only shied away, hands coming up to cup her cheeks that were turning the same shade as her red dress.

“I’ve also heard a lot of nice things about You too, Miss. Thank You for inviting us” Jacob spoke and you smirked at the formal tone the man was trying to use. Nodding along, you patted him on the shoulder, having to slightly lift up your arm to reach the height. Telling the pair to go and have some fun, enjoy the night, you distanced away from them and found purchase on one of the empty chairs in the corner.

With a wine glass in hand, you once again scanned over the huge room. Instantly, a familiar tall man dressed in dark blue caught your attention. Seungwoo was talking to one of your employees, a girl who you couldn’t quite remember the name of, but knew quite well as a hardworking and persistent person. They were pretty close, both smiling at each other while taking sips of their own drinks.

“He’s not your boyfriend” You suddenly heard someone’s voice from close proximity. Startled and suddenly shaken out of daze, you jumped in place, almost spilling the blood-red liquid. On your right, maybe about one step away, Seungyoun stood leaned on the wall. The male held his chin high, not really looking at you as he spoke. Seungyoun’s lips formed a frown as he locked eyes at one point, but from your position, it wasn’t possible to conclude what exactly caused it.

“Why does it matter if he is or isn’t?” The answer came out harsher than intended.

“It doesn’t. I’m just saying you’re horrible at lying” What is one supposed to reply to such a statement? The other was obviously wrong, for lying was a skill one has to master before becoming a powerful businessman. Negotiations were always a balance between lies and truths. Everyone is trying to protect their own interests, it’s only normal.

“Keep that in mind” Seungyoun whispered, although this time much quieter than last.

Remaining silent, your eyes fell down to look at the finger that traced the rim of thin glass. You understood quite well what the other was trying to do, how he was approaching the topic. Seungyoun was trying to keep you on a leash, using his knowledge to actively threaten you to be a good girl. On the other side, Seungyoun probably wasn’t aware of how big the consequences of his actions could be, and you blamed it on inexperience.

“Don’t you think that you’re putting your nose into the whole thing way too much?” You bit back, still not glancing up at the male. Currently, the attention was dedicated to the perfect little bows on your heels, the diamonds in their center shining under the light. It went by unnoticed, but Seungyoun’s frown deepened and he glanced at you from the corners of his eyes.

“And don’t you think you’re being too daring?” Seungyoun’s voice became deeper and the man swiftly moved, suddenly standing turned towards you. As if some sense was finally knocked into your mind, it instantly processed the way his frame towered over yours. The other wasn’t doing anything, but it felt as if you were taken back to the same scenario from a few days ago – captured and unable to move.

“I don’t” Remembering just how important it is to hold the steady ground, you dared to look the other in the eyes. Usually, one can observe the feelings of the other through their irises, but at this instance, it wasn’t possible. Seungyoun was a hard book to read, his eyes a burning fire, thousand emotions filling the tight space. Without any restraint, they moved downwards to lock on your shining lips.

“I could ruin you” The male whispered, his fingers coming up to take a hold of your chin, lifting it up. Seungyoun’s grasp wasn’t anywhere near rough or strong, you barely even felt it. He was allowing you to move, look away, stand up and walk away – but you never did. Maybe the goal was to show the other you were fully aware and in control of the situation. Maybe, as one would never admit, it was the feeling of Seungyoun’s fingers on your soft skin that prevented any kind of movement.

He dared to lick his lips and run his thumb over your lower lip.

“And I could quite literally end you, Cho Seungyoun. Don’t let your guard down” With that, you stood up from the now uncomfortable chair, taking long but quick steps away from the other. It was only then that the blood rushed towards your cheeks, stripping you of the previously unbothered façade. Seungyoun on the other hand, was wholeheartedly smirking, watching the lengthy back of the blue dress drag over the marble floor.  

Your frame hurried between groups of people, hand still holding onto the wine glass. Trying not to attract attention was deemed impossible because a familiar tall figured appeared by your side in a matter of seconds.

“What happened there?” A delicate hand took hold of your wrist as the male questioned. Seungwoo’s expression was worried, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort. Fortunately, instead of any form of unsettlement, he found a rather flushed expression.

“Nothing. Can we just sit there for a little while?” Your answer was concise, therefore Seungwoo was already able to only suspect a few things. Still, he chose not to question anymore, knowing that if you wanted to talk, you’d do so when ready.

Seungwoo nodded as a reply, and he allowed you to drag him up the stairs and towards a secluded table right beside them. A bottle of red wine was already placed on the top and you hurried to tear the seal open, pouring the both of you a glass of said liquid. Seungwoo watched you down the whole glass, amusement written all over his face.  

Although there was a generous amount of people on the upper ground too, it didn’t feel as crowded as it was downstairs. There was a small fence that allowed you to overlook the situation down there, seeing everyone while not being in their center of attention. It was unusual but also refreshing to for once not be the life of the party.

Seungwoo stopped you after the third glass, remembering you that there was still some dignity to uphold, to which you agreed. Ordering a jar of water, you spent the rest of the night talking with your partner and occasionally standing up to dance to the live music. You learned that the female he talked to, used to be his classmate a while ago, negligible weight falling off your chest for no apparent reason.

What you hadn’t noticed though, seemed to be Seungyoun, who has never once looked away from you throughout the whole night.

On Monday, you decided to start the week off differently. Usually, you’d appear in the office before the first employees to work on the week’s goals for every department. A cup of coffee you hurriedly picked up would often be a bit too bitter, but you wouldn’t mind, for it did its job properly.

Today though, you decided to pick up a strawberry latte and take a calm seat in the corner of the café. You, for the first time, felt no hurry, choosing to rather sit down and breathe for once on a busy Monday morning.

In such a small space, quite a few pairs of eyes were focused on you. It wasn’t to be unexpected, for being a CEO of such a powerful company proclaimed you some kind of a celebrity. The attention didn’t feel right in such an informal setting, it was awkward and made you want to hide away.

Then, as if things couldn’t get any more awkward and tense, the chime above the door sounded, and inside walked no one else but Cho Seungyoun.

Cursing the absolute lack of luck that keeps striking for the past two weeks, you looked out the window, trying to seem deep in thought. You tried to hide behind the broad shoulders of the customer in front of you, shimmying awkwardly on the leather seat. Taking an occasional sip of the sweet latte, you tried to control the eyes from straying away towards the absolute beauty that was leaning on the counter and smiling at the waitress.  

Unfortunately, even with all the effort, the world played its game against you again. An almost black liquid appeared right beside the pink one, and you had to hold back the urge to roll eyes and sigh out loud.

The male wore a black shirt with the first two buttons unbuttoned, allowing evident collarbones to come into view. Seungyoun’s hair was parted to the side and styled quite messily this time – the soft strands of hair were sticking here and there, some even falling over to cover his eyebrows. The smirk on his lips and hooded eyes were pretty enticing, but even with such a distracting appearance, you managed to keep steady ground.

You thought about it, the way how everything could’ve happened differently. Maybe Seungyoun wasn’t such a bad person, maybe if you hadn’t pulled the wrong string of faith, the guy would be a tolerable associate. If the first impression wasn’t such a bad one, who knows what could’ve happened? Then really, whose fault was it this time?

“What a pleasant surprise” Seungyoun stated, his voice jumping up at the last vowel. The irritating tone made you frown, the previous state of calm suddenly ruined by uncomfortable noise. You sent the other a nod of acknowledgment, deciding to continue staring out the window and test just how long you’ll be able to endure before its deemed enough.

“Didn’t quite expect to find Miss CEO wasting her time in a café this early” It was a sudden conclusion that the useless remarks were a personality trait of the male. You thought that it might just hurt less if he let the information leak.

“There’s a first for everything” You replied curtly, still not looking at the other.

Silence enrolled quickly after, but it wasn’t as pleasant as you expected, for the man was moving his hand and grabbing the strawberry latte. Your eyes followed the pink drink and transparent straw that were closing the distance to his lips, not believing what they were seeing. Seungyoun dared to take a long sip out of the strawberry latte, immediately frowning at the taste. A pure look of disgust mixed with disbelief overtook your features.

“Too sweet, too creamy” Seungyoun whispered, pushing the drink away with a pointer finger. A hand was quick to come up to your lips as an expression of shock, while the other harshly grabbed a hold of the plastic cup. It somehow didn’t feel the same in your hand and the glistening tip of the straw made you gag. At that moment, it took every bit of self-restraint not to make a scene.

“Not too talkative today miss CEO?” The male added and you audibly sighed. Seungyoun leaned over and took a hold of a stray strand of your hair, twirling it in his fingers for only a second. Visibly uncomfortable and confused, you grasped his hand and lowered it down on the table. The warmth of his palm was unusually comforting, for it contrasted your cold skin perfectly.  

“Exactly mister heir” Although unintentional, the tone was one of a mocking kind. The other caught onto it fast.

“Stop using it in a degrading way” Seungyoun rolled his eyes and relaxed back into the seat. Only then were you able to feel the air clear up, the distance between the two of you finally appropriate. Just as a remark was about to fly his way, your phone began vibrating on the table. Immediately picking the device up and accepting the call from one of the polite receptionists, you were ready to use the new situation to escape the current one.

“Miss, I’m sorry to be interrupting, but we’ll need yo-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there in a minute” And with that, the call ended, your phone was put back into the leather bag and you were putting on a thin coat. Without any more words, you distanced away from the table, bidding the other a weak and pitiful ‘goodbye’. Seungyoun could only watch the smaller form walk away and enter a cab that was parked right outside the café.

Once again, he smirked, although this time it was directed towards someone else.

Just what horrible crime did you commit in the past life to deserve this?

One could only imagine how it felt when the first person noticed at the reception next day appeared to be Seungyoun. The tall, broad man dressed in formal attire, black suit, and pants paired up with black dress shoes. As if the alert senses tingled from the very entrance, you spotted the intruder almost immediately and instead of heading to the reception as per usual, you speed-walked towards the elevator. A phone in one hand and coffee in the other, you pretended to already be busy, trying to avoid any kind of pre-planned contact with the heir.

Thankfully, the elevator was already waiting and able to take you to the top in just a few seconds. Eunha's greeting was the usual short bow, but her expression wasn’t as calm or composed as always. It looked as if the assistant had something to tell you but didn’t know how, for she began reading today’s schedule and progress in a troubled manner. You were tuning in only for the most important parts of it – generally stopping once she began with the percentages.

What occupied your mind was the fact that Cho Seungyoun was in the company before the CEO herself, which could only mean one thing – he was waiting for you. But why? There was absolutely no reason – did someone call him?

“Eunha” You suddenly interrupted the other, forcing her to stop with the reading and lift her gaze up to meet yours.  

“Yes, Miss?” She replied, lowering the big tablet and straightening the slightly hunched posture. The assistant fixed the hem of her tight dress while trying to keep up with your steps.

“Were any visits planned for today?” While questioning back, you fiddled with the silver keys in your hands, trying to find the right one that fit the lock of the office. Eunha excused herself for a moment to look through the schedule again, only to sigh and shake her head a few seconds later.

“No, I’m afraid I can’t find any” The female replied, following after you and closing the door behind once inside the office. You scanned the room quickly, nodding after noticing that everything was where you had left it yesterday. There was no rational reason to be anxious, but could anyone really blame you at this moment?

Taking a seat on the comfortable leather chair, you crossed your legs and motioned for Eunha to sit on the other side of the table. The assistant did as told, resuming to read whatever more was left off the screen.

Not even five minutes later, as Eunha was reciting the daily spending on media advertisements, a series of hurried knocks sounded throughout the room. It was obvious who the person was, therefore you silently debated was it worth letting them in. Yet, before anyone could react appropriately, the heavy entrance opened and a composed Seungyoun walked in. As if the male had no manners, he closed the door behind him with one foot and walked over to your desk in a few slow, but long strides.

Eunha’s eyes were as big as avocados, and she hurriedly gazed between the two. The assistant was about to stand up for a bow, but upon hearing your whisper of ‘stay seated’, she decided not to.

“I heard that people usually knock before entering,” You said, leaning back into the chair and crossing arms under your chest. The action made your cleavage more evident, and although unintentional, it managed to grab the attention of the male.

“And I heard people don’t pass by their acquaintances without saying hello” Seungyoun replied with a calm and calculated tone. It was possible to catch onto the slightest bit of passive-aggressiveness, but it went by without any mention. Finally, he closed the leftover distance and leaned against the desk, both hands firmly pressed against the surface. Somehow, this version intimidated you more than the one through which Seungyoun was actively trying to scare you.

“Why are you here?”  

“Am I not allowed?” Seungyoun asked, a palm coming up to press at his chest as he turned to look at Eunha. It seemed as if the disapproval wasn’t expected from you, rather Eunha, who only shook her head with a panicked expression. Of course, the assistant can’t do much in this situation. “I was just passing by and thought that I might visit and see how the preparations for the first stage of the project are going”. He turned to face you again.  

Lies.

“They’re doing great. You may leave” Your expression was one of annoyance and you waved at the other, showing that there was nothing else to talk about.  

“Well, well, is that the proper way to treat your boyfriend?”  

Seungyoun’s lips were a thin line, but one could notice that the corners were desperately trying not to jump up into a smile. The words took a second too long to process, huge amount of shock and confusion hitting like a powerful wave. You were at a loss for words, not quite sure how to appropriately dismiss what the other said.  

“Excuse me?” The incoming gulp was a tad bit too loud, for the other was obviously able to hear it. Seungyoun remained indifferent, but he turned to look at Eunha again, who had her head hung low, eyes focused on the fingers that nervously shuffled.

“Has your little assistant not told you?” The male said in a slightly mocking tone. Seungyoun took a moment to step back and retrieve a huge phone from his back pocket, speaking without looking up from its display. “Let me enlighten you then, darling”

Seungyoun tapped a few times onto the bright screen, before turning it around and carelessly throwing it onto the desk. You didn’t dare touch the device, for it was thrown as if you were a dog to catch it. Anyway, with a straightened back, you threw a glance on the display, managing to swiftly read the big, bolded letters of a Naver article.

[New business couple? The heir of Cho enterprise and CEO of INVICTA seen together on a date]

[seoultraveller]

HAHSHS exactly🤣 The outside world could wait a bit longer🤪 Omg no need to thank me~🥺 Lolll yeahh !! I should look up the compatibility between Libra and Pisces just to see if it’s those signs having a conflict at times😂 HAHHAH thank you :P what’s your moon again??

Same for me!! Grayness and coldness is a no no and for sure is gonna make me stay at home! Ahh so true, the sun gives you that kick in the butt to start off your day🥰 I agree though!! So enchanting really<3 I love the clouds and the rain can be so relaxing. A friend of mine once said this, which I find to be so beautiful, “the rain isn’t bad. the rain is just like a friend stopping by,” I just love it idk🥺

Wait yes I love that! They do say some good things🥺 One thing I love about Korean/Korean culture is their sayings and meanings of certain words which gives you this whole new perspective!! So beautiful💕

Yunho is getting set up in the best way possible don’t worry!! I’ll try to keep the Yunho one romantic and happy, but I have a feeling I’ll manage to turn things angsty ahahsjs😅💀 AGH now I wanna spoil my whole idea🥴 I had this same problem while talking to Ash a few days ago LOLL

Ohh yesss the robbery fic with Hongjoong is definitely an adventure!! I crossed it off to be lowkey LOL😌 the other Hong fic is such a mix though. The one I can say for sure will be angsty is part 2 of It’s just a bite - Maybe it isn’t just a bite. OOOPPSS.

AHHH I’m grateful thank you!! I wanted to keep the summaries short and without much detail because they’re not complete and things can change, and people can steal my ideas ;((

HEHEHE glad you enjoyed the Yunho spam😏

Keep stalking I love it😘 I’m still awake but passing out at any second lol!! So I’m saying goodnight and wishing you a happy birthday yet again lovely Catalina🥰💕

Pisces is an interesting sign, in any placement. I am unsure of how the dynamic would play out if the sun sign is in Libra. My moon is in Aquarius... and I really don’t know what to make of it... 🤷🏾‍♀️

That is such a beautiful saying by your friend, “just like a friend stopping by.” In fact, after reading that phrase that you typed out, I thought about that little piece that you wrote with Seonghwa and the rain tapping on the window. I’m going to go and re-read it after this. 🥺

I agree!! With learning a new language (or Korean in this case) and understanding the meanings of different words really does open you up and give you a different perspective of things. You said it perfectly. ☺️

Okay~ I have read fics where the writer makes everyone fall for Yunho through a love triangle/square, no less, only to have us (ME) crying over his pain in the end. I am happy to know that he gets to win in the end though 🥺 I’m so soft for him, I just- 😭 this is good, and a BIT of angst never hurt anyone so~ yeah. ☺️ But, please don’t spoil it!! Keep it a secret until it drops. I can wait patiently, I promise. 😉 Yeah! I noticed the interaction between you two on my dash. 😂 It was so funny!! The desire to spoil everything bubbling from within. 😂

It’s Just a Bite II might just hurt my heart 🥺, but I’m ready thank you for the warning.

I understand. It gets kind of -iffy- when you read similar stories thinking do we just think alike, or did they gain inspiration???

I’ll always enjoy a Yunho spam (or San perhaps Seonghwa too) 😂

I’m going to stalk some more because I don’t get enough of your content on my dashboard. Also, some of your posts had me 😂😂😂, like the “Damn, I’m looking pretty cute today~” or something like that. I was weak 😂😭😂😭😂

[freddiesaysalright]

My Man Part VI

A Ben!Roger Taylor x Reader Fic

Summary: Reader is a Broadway actress currently starring in a West End production of Funny Girl. She’s a widow, thanks to the Vietnam War, but it’s a well-kept secret. She also wants everyone to think she doesn’t care for rock music. She met Roger Taylor when he brought his date backstage. They didn’t start off great, but a party at Freddie’s turned them around. Now, they’re friends. After she was attacked by a director, Roger is there for her. Then she gets a surprise visitor with some wise words for her.

Word Count: 2.6K

Tag List: @bohemian-war @kittygirlno @rebelrebelyourefaceisamess @rockyroadthepastryarchy @goodoldfashionedloverboyy @jennyggggrrr @discodeacygotmorerhythm @x1975sos @slytherinxval @cyndagoaway @doingalrightt @lovvliies @hopefully-aesthetically-pleasing @capsparrowtara @they-call-me-peaches @hyosong @riddikuluslypotter @orchideax  If you’d like to be added, let me know!

Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV  Part V  

Part VI here we go!!!

You spent the next few days at home, recovering. Roger stayed with you all the time, leaving only for band stuff and to shower and change. You thought about telling him he could bring some things over, but you weren’t sure what kind of message that sent.

It was Roger who told you that you absolutely could not go back to work. You agreed only because there wasn’t enough makeup to cover the bruise around your eye. You also couldn’t bear the thought of performing “You Are Woman, I Am Man.” It made your stomach clench to even think about. You gave Gary the excuse that you were ill, and he bought it.

Three days after your assault, you were relaxing with Roger on your couch. You were reading your old copy of Jane Eyre, while he dozed beside you, his arm draped lazily across your shoulders. You’d always loved Jane Eyre. When times were hard, you read her story again. You told yourself that if she could overcome the things she did, you could overcome the trials of your own life.

As you read, you came across a line that struck your heart in a new way: “I had not intended to love him; the reader knows I had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now, at the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously revived, great and strong! He made me love him without looking at me.”

You stopped. Closing the book, you glanced at Roger. He looked at peace as he slept, even with his head back and mouth slightly agape. You watched his chest rise and fall with each breath and remembered when you first met. He was acting so arrogant and you were so annoyed. Now he was at your side in the most dire situation you’d ever faced. How could this have happened? You, who were so sure you would never love again after losing George, were falling in love with Roger Taylor?

He didn’t even really look the same to you. Before - and perhaps still to others - he was the great Roger Taylor, drummer for Queen and womanizer extraordinaire. Now, he was just Roger, who held you close and punched your agent and slept on a lumpy sofa for you. Roger, who was talented and smart and passionate. Roger, a man you respected. A man you loved.

But what could ever come of it? He was also your best friend. Had his feelings changed? Had they ripened into this exciting and painful extra emotion? You weren’t even sure if you wanted an answer.

A knock at the door interrupted your thoughts. Roger shook awake and met your eyes. His sleepy face could have melted all the snow in Siberia. Your heart skipped a beat.

“You wanna get that or should I?” he asked, smirking.

You smiled. “I’ll get it.”

You padded over to the door and peered through the peephole. With a gasp and a cry of delight, you yanked the door open and threw your arms around the visitor.

“Jack!” you cried. “Oh my God!”

He laughed and spun you around. When he put you down, you saw Roger at the door. He looked between you and Jack and frowned.

“Roger,” you said. “This is my brother, Jack. Jack, this is Roger Taylor.”

Roger’s face immediately shifted and he smiled. “Oh, nice to meet you.”

He held out his hand and Jack shook it.

“So it’s true,” he said in almost a whisper.

“What’s true?” you asked.

Jack held up a copy of the issue of In Tune about you and Roger. “You’re doing it with the drummer of Queen!” He pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing the top of your head to mess up your hair as much as possible. “I’ve never been so proud of you!”

Roger looked away, grinning like an idiot.

“Get bent!” you laughed, shoving him off. “He’s just a friend.” You felt like you were lying as you said this. “Come inside, will you?”

Jack followed you into the flat, clapping Roger on the shoulder. Roger closed the door behind you. At last, Jack took in your face.

“You look like shit,” he said, playfully.

“Shut up,” you returned, rolling your eyes. “It doesn’t help that you just ruined my perfectly sloppy ponytail.”

“Did you get into another fight?” he asked.

“I’m sorry - another fight?” Roger interjected.

“She had an eventful youth,” Jack said.

Roger raised his eyebrows at you. You ignored him.

“Jack, what are you even doing here?” you wondered. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled, but it’s such a long trip.”

“Dear Mother and Father sent me after some of their English connections saw the magazine,” he explained, waving it around again. “I’m supposed to set you straight.”

“What does that mean?” Roger asked.

“It usually means she and I get drunk together and then I lie to our parents about it,” Jack told him. “I was kinda iffy about this one but it was a free trip to London, so I thought - what the hell, I wanna see her show anyway.”

“I haven’t been in the show for a couple days,” you said solemnly. “Bruises look especially bad under stage lights.”

“You’re going to have to explain that,” he replied. “Do I have to beat someone up?”

You raised an eyebrow. “I once tackled you to the ground and made you eat dirt.”

“So?” he returned. “I was like twelve.”

“I was twelve,” you corrected. “You were seventeen.”

Roger snorted and you looked smugly at your brother.

“You know what, that’s fair,” Jack admitted. “But I do still need to know what happened to you.”

You looked down. “Just a really shitty director.”

“Did he try to casting couch you?” he wondered.

You could only nod. Jack pulled you close. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” He kissed you on the head. “I love you so much and if I were as strong as you, I’d tackle that asshole to the ground and make him eat dirt.”

Tears pricked your eyes as you clutched his shirt and chuckled. “You’re an idiot and I love you.”

Roger looked at the pair of you incredulously. “You two are giving me emotional whiplash.”

“Sorry, Roger,” you said.

“Oh, are you on a first name basis?” Jack teased, letting you go.

You looked at him and it hit you all of a sudden that you hadn’t called Roger “Mr. Taylor” since Mark’s attack on you. It just came so naturally now.

“It’s a recent development,” Roger said. “I’ve been begging her to stop with the ‘Mr. Taylor’ but she refused.”

“Some habits are hard to unlearn,” Jack said. “But I’m glad she’s opening up.”

The corners of Roger’s mouth turned up, but stopped when he looked at the clock.

“I’ve got to go,” he said, looking at you. “Rehearsal. I’ll come back after, yeah?”

“Please do,” you replied.

He grabbed his things, pressed a kiss to your forehead, and left with a final wave.

“See ya, Roger,” you called.

“Great to meet you!” Jack added as the door closed softly behind Roger.

Jack whipped around and looked expectantly at you.

“What?” you asked, more defensive than you meant to sound.

“You love him,” he said.

“Of course I do, he’s my best friend,” you answered, too quickly.

“You know damn well I meant you’re in love with him,” he said. “Like wanna marry him, fuck his brains out, and have his babies.”

“Jack!”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong.”

You looked deliberately away from him, biting your lip.

“That’s what I thought,” he said. “So why aren’t you with him?”

“There’s a lot that goes into answering that,” you began. “You know me. I over-analyze every part of what I’m feeling until I’m ready to explode.”

“Break it down.”

“I still feel guilty about moving on from George.”

“Okay. And?”

“Roger and I are such good friends, I’m worried if I tell him how I feel, he’ll reject me and I’ll lose him.”

“And?”

“I’m still feeling weird about being touched after being groped by that director.”

“And?”

“That’s it,” you said.

“Liar,” he accused.

Glowering at him, you crossed your arms over your chest. “It’s true.”

“There’s something else.”

You groaned.

“Just tell me!” he insisted.

“I’m…” you trailed off, unsure how to word it. “I’m afraid that I...I won’t be able to please him...y’know...in that way.”

“Are you serious?” Jack returned.

“Yes!” you cried. “I’ve been with one person ever in my life, and I was married to him. Roger Taylor has been with - I dunno - every woman in London. And you should see the women he takes out, Jack. They’re head-turningly beautiful women.”

“Well, according to this bullshit magazine, he hasn’t been out with anyone since you eloped,” he said.

“We haven’t eloped,” you said.

“Anyway,” he began. “I should tell you that your sexual prowess probably doesn’t matter to him. And you’re every bit as beautiful as any of the girls he’s dated.”

“You haven’t seen them.”

“I don’t need to. Remember my first trip home from college? I brought back my roommate and he fell in love with you?”

“What?” you returned.

“God, I was so pissed too because I was convinced he was gay. Then we were up late at night talking, and he said you were so beautiful and all this other crap until he fucking cried.”

You giggled. “I’m sorry I ruined that for you.”

“So yeah, you’re pretty, okay?”

“Okay,” you agreed.

“And I do think Roger returns your feelings,” he continued. He held up the picture of you on the magazine. “I mean, look at his face here.”

You did. Roger was laughing as he looked at you in the photo. His arm was around your waist to have you near him. His eyes shone like the moon. Your expression was much the same.

“He looked like that every time he looked at you,” Jack said. “That’s how you look at the love of your life.”

Your face fell at those words.

“I know you feel guilty about George,” he said, not needing an explanation. “I loved him too and I know you risked everything for him. But he loved you so much. He’d never want you to stop living your life on his account.”

“I know,” you said.

“And honestly, I think he’d be damn proud of you for getting Roger Taylor,” he joked.

“I kinda think so too!”

You laughed together and for a moment you felt like you were a teenager again. Joking around with your big brother and the whole world ahead of you. You would never have guessed you would end up where you were.

“And as for the physical stuff after being hurt by that director,” he continued, serious now. “That’s just gonna take time. But I have a feeling that whenever you’re ready, Roger’s gonna be there for you.”

“You got all of that just from the way he looks at me?” you asked.

“It says a lot,” he said with a shrug.

“Thanks, Jack,” you replied. “I’m so glad you’re here to listen to my crazy.”

“What are gay big brothers for?”

When Roger returned that evening, you were nursing a glass of wine. You and Jack had killed a bottle while catching up before he returned to his hotel room. Now, you were back to your book. Roger smiled as he entered your living room.

“Hey,” he said. “Your brother clear off?”

“He went to his hotel room,” you said. “But he’s gonna be here for a week at least. He wants to see me in the show before he goes.”

“Are you ready for that?” he wondered, taking a seat.

You draped your legs across his lap. He gave them a gentle pat with his warm hands.

“I think I will be,” you assured him. “Nothing lifts my spirits like being on stage.”

“I admire your resilience,” he said.

You stared at him for a moment while he toyed with the fluff on your socks. You were suddenly overcome with affection for him. You smiled to yourself, and resumed comfortable silence. Roger did eventually get up to pour himself a glass of wine and then switched on the TV. You loved just existing in the same room with him.

That night, you awoke from a deep sleep from the noises in the living room. Thinking Roger had just left the TV on, you got up and headed out to switch it off. When you emerged from your bedroom, you were horrified to see the noises were coming from Roger. He was moaning, covered in sweat, and thrashing on the couch. You recognized this from the nights when George was home from Vietnam. Roger was having a nightmare. A PTSD nightmare.

You flew to his side, calling his name softly so you wouldn’t startle him. You pressed your hand onto his shoulder, and you felt how clammy his skin was. Gently, you rubbed up and down his arm until his movements slowed. He twitched away from you a few times, and you would back off for a moment before trying again.

“Roger,” you said, a little louder now.

His eyes snapped open, and he looked at you. For a split second, he moved away, as if he didn’t recognize you. Clarity swept over him and his hand shot toward you to cling to a bit of your nightgown. His chest heaved with his labored breathing, so you placed your hand over it. You could feel his heart pounding like a jackhammer.

“I’m here, Rog,” you said, cupping his face with your other hand. “I’m here. You’re safe.”

He tried to sit up, but you didn’t let him.

“Easy,” you soothed. “Just rest now, my darling.”

His breathing was still shallow, so you inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.

“Can you do this with me, Rog?” you requested. “Come on, deep breaths.”

He closed his eyes and followed your lead. You kept a hand on his chest to feel his pulse as you settled him. His grip on your clothing relaxed as well.

“Are you alright?” you asked, when he opened his eyes again.

“Yeah...just a stupid dream,” he muttered.

“It looked pretty serious to me,” you said.

“S’nothing,” he insisted.

You didn’t answer and you shifted your body so that you were laying beside him. Without prompting, he buried his face in the crook of your neck as he hooked an arm around your waist. You dragged your nails gently across his back and hummed absentmindedly.

“Sing something for me,” he said.

“What would you like to hear?” you asked.

“Anything,” he told you.

You cleared your throat and began the first song that came to mind.

“Somewhere over rainbow, way up high,” you began.

He pulled his head back and looked so intensely at you, it took your breath away.

“How’d you know?” he wondered.

“What?”

“That’s the song my mum…” he trailed off. “After my dad was...extra rough, I guess. She sang that for us.”

You realized that must have been what he was dreaming. You ached with sympathy.

“You want me to stop?” you offered.

“No,” he said, returning his head to your shoulder. “No, don’t stop.”  

“There’s a land that I heard of, once in a lullaby…”

As you sang, you considered everything you discussed with Jack, and realized he was right. What you and Roger had was special. You cared about one another in a way that was deeper than bones. It was your souls that spoke to each other. The only thing left to know was who was going to act on it first.

If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the rainbow

Why, oh why can’t I?

[connan-l]

Ciconia Phase 1 Ramblings

Well, it sure was a wild ride, but I enjoyed it quite a bit!

The whole thing was very Heavy and Intense and Long and a lot of stuff happened. I’m not sure I really digested everything yet, but I have Thoughts.

GOD I spent so much time writing all of this... At first I just wanted to make a short Twitter thread about it, but it ended up a lot longer than initially... 😔

Those are just some messy ramblings and I don't think I said any more new or interesting stuff than what other people have already said, but I still felt the need to write it down, so...

Ciconia spoilers for Phase 1 and the tips:

So I thought overall it was pretty good and interesting! As someone who didn’t play the demos, I went in completely blind, and it was a nice read. (As such the flood of Okonogi memes some time ago were kinda confusing to me at first lol.)

It was radically different from Higurashi and Umineko, but that was something I expected (Umineko was radically different from Higurashi, after all.)

I’m not sure if it’s going to hit me as personally as Higurashi and Umineko did yet, or even if I’m going to like it as much — I enjoyed Phase 1, and the story is really intriguing, but it’s not quite on the level of its predecessors for now. Then again, it is only the first part of the story so it’s a bit unfair to compare them now, and I remember I was far from being into Higu and Umi by just their first installments too. So I guess I’ll just have to wait for the other phases and see!

On a technical level, this is definitely ones of Ryukishi’s most sophisticated visual novels — with the big animations and sound effects during the battle scenes, of course, but also with the numbers of different backgrounds and the visuals for the Kizuna thing. The sprites are also my favorites from all of Ryu’s games, they have the uniqueness of his artstyle all while being more polished and with really pretty coloring. And the character designs are SUPER GOOD — the best of 07th Expansion works to me (well, I was still a bit disappointed in Vier’s design, though. I mean. She’s just Takano with a lab coat. You could’ve at least changed her clothes or something, Ryu.) The music was the only thing that was... pretty average. It wasn’t bad, there was a lot of neat OST in it... but there wasn’t really anything memorable either (Alright, except for Apocalypsis Ciconia II. This one was dope as hell and it gave me chills.)

I was pleasantly surprised by how good and compelling the worldbuilding was too, as personally I find this peculiar part of Ryukishi’s writing has always been one of his weakest points. I don’t know much about sci-fi stuff admittedly, so I’m not sure how that would be perceived by fans of the genre, but Ciconia’s world is still quite fascinating — the different factions, the technology and selcom stuff, the way childbirth is managed or the history of World War III, all of that was good. Although to be honest, some stuff felt kinda contrived too (like, sure, let’s say the entire history of WWIII is entirely erased, like that we don’t have to deal with the political issues of our current real world lmao), and I don’t know all of the histories of the countries mentioned, so I can’t really tell if some things were insensitive (for example, how Africa was “unified” by a single king felt a bit off to me, but, er... I don’t know...)

The more absurd elements like the conspiracy theories, the chivalric orders or the freaking ILLUMINATI KINGS were pretty hilarious, honestly. I’m... not sure what to make of them. Obviously none of Ryu’s stories were ever going to be realistic (and well, the entire premise of Ciconia is about children soldiers who have the strength of an entire army in one gauntlet, which is ridiculous enough), but knowing him I wonder how much of this is going to be played straight and how much of this is meta stuff. Especially with all the religious/spiritual references (the blue bodies of Evil Miyao and of the gauntlet girls alluding to the Hindu god Shiva, Seshat being a Egyptian goddess, etc.)

I have more mixed feelings about the plot, and especially the pacing. Most of it was okay, but some scenes were really dragging and redundant. Which, isn’t really something new with Ryukishi’s writing, but here especially with the political stuff and the long blocks of exposition it was... kinda boring and hard to focus on it, and after a while it even felt quite egregious. Some of those parts weren’t needed, or at least didn’t need to be that long. Especially given that after the first hours, there were not a lot of more peaceful moments that would give the player time to breath. 

Which is another one of my complaints: a lot of intense things happened, but the narrative rarely give you the time to actually digest those things, especially in the second part of the story. It often pretty much felt like “X event happen > Discussion of X event between the characters > Y event happen > Discussion of Y event between the characters,” and this without any breaks (with the exception of some exposition here and there in between, of course). The events, discussions and characters were interesting enough to more or less keep my attention, but it still felt like too much at times. Part of this may be volunteer, as it put a stressful and opressive feeling on the reader (God, the clock and quotes between each chapters stressed me out a lot lol), and after a while I really felt like I was kinda suffocating with all of this like the characters — but even so I think it would’ve been better to give us some pauses here and there. Which is something we could have had with, say, the tips. I thought it was a shame all of the sixteen tips could only be read once the main story was over, because the narrative could have really benefited from having them fit into the plot or in-between chapters, like in Higurashi.

Also, I know Ciconia wasn’t exactly marketed as an horror story unlike the other WTCs, but hoo boy, I think some of the sequences in it are honestly among the most gory and disturbing things Ryukishi wrote? I haven’t read Iwaihime or TRianThology, so I can’t really say for sure, but damn, those human factories really are big nightmare fuels...

Now, I think the most tricky parts and the ones who are gonna get the most criticisms are, likely, the whole political and military stuff. Ciconia is probably Ryukishi’s most political and provocative work so far, maybe on par with Rose Guns Days — not to say Higurashi and Umineko are not political, they definitely are, but here it truly is in-your-face. Which is not a bad thing, per se, but... let’s say it all depends on how Ryukishi handle and criticize all those stuff down the line in the other installments, when so far it’s been... meh?

Like, the whole military stuff, specifically, was... shaky, at best. The thing with fiction that portray militaries with soldiers as their main characters is that they walk a thin line between just portraying this thing and actively glamorizing it. The narrative was definitely critical of some of it (lol the whole massacre at the end was very obviously there for a reason), and I appreciate Ryukishi often makes a point in his stories to frame a problem with different persepectives... but the whole “healthy military balance” and “Walls of Peace” thing was still iffy, and I’m... unsure about how much of it is going to be criticized within the narrative in the end. Now, again, it is just the beginning of the story, and Ryukishi has always been good at presenting a thing at the start for later on tearing it down to pieces, so... I don’t know.

It’s way too early to decide what kind of themes and messages Ciconia is going to have, so here too I guess we’ll have to wait and see, but I’m just a bit wary given some things that were in RGD were... definitely questionable. Now I actually think Ciconia got to a better start than RGD, but... well. I’m also not really someone who know much about these stuff, so I’m not the best placed to talk about it, but it’s definitely something worth to be under scrutiny.

On the more positive side, there were times where some things felt really, really real, as well as pretty in tone with some of today’s social issues. Like all those news about the terrible things going on in the world and that a war can happen anytime, the military propaganda to recruit young people who “want to fly” in the army but who just end up killing each other, or the feeling that these kids have about how in the end they’re just powerless pawns  who can’t do anything used by selfish old men... I saw someone said Ciconia was basically Fuck Boomers: The Game, and... yeah. Yeah, that’s basicaly it lmao. All of the adults being assholes is not new in WTC or even in Ryukishi’s works in general, but here it was definitely a big theme. God even the whole thing at the end about how the planet is dying and that everyone knows it but people just don’t care about it... lmao, if that wasn’t directly referring what we’re living right now with climate change, I don’t know what is.

I just really loved too the way the game was sort of sold as this “cool sci-fi battle royal,” but in the actual story all of those kids are desperately trying to not kill each other, until the very end where everything just goes to hell.

I said it before, but there really was a huge feeling of suffocating and being powerless the more and more you reach towards the end, and the way everything culminated in this huge massacre truly sent shivers in my back. I know at some points I could really feel for the kids who were like “Well, fuck it, let’s just let all those awful people kill each other and the world get destroyed.” The final scene with the Christmas party was really powerful and also so uncomfortable to read, it was really well done.

Otherwise, if there was one work I wasn’t expecting to scream “LGBT+ rights,” it was Ciconia, but here we are I guess lmao. Honestly, that entire conversation was super neat, not just in a “Oh it’s great they acknowledge gay and trans people exist in a positive way,” but also because it really adds a lot to the worldbuilding. I remember some people talking about it when a similar thing happened in the comics of The Legend of Korra, and honestly more stories should do that, not just in term of representation but because, well, it’s just good writing to put this much thought in your fictional world. The conversation in itself was a bit clumsy (GAYS DON’T FUCK), but it also felt very sincere and a pretty believable discussion a bunch of teenagers with very different backgrounds could have on the subject (and I really loved the narrative acknowledge how different cultures and religions feel about those topics, without it being judgemental.) I’m also thankful it was here at all because of the, uh, gay jokes made about Miyao and Jayden early on that were a bit tasteless to me.

(Now it would be even more great if we could have actual canon gay and trans characters too. Ryukishi... please...... I beg you........)

And of course, the characters were also really good! 

It was so nice to have such a big diverse cast all constituted of likeable characters, and I was honestly impressed Ryukishi managed to handle it. That was something I was wary of when the game was first released, but in the end I think he did a good job so far. Of course, that’s only from my point of view, so I can’t say if other people found there were some things he did badly or that was offensive...

But personally, I honestly love all of the Gauntlets kids so much. They’re all so good and charming! And I kinda want to adopt them all lol.

I think my favorites for now are Miyao, Gunhild, Naima, Rethabile, Chloe, Koshka, Rukhshana, and Lingji... But like I said, they are all really good it’s hard to choose!

However... when it comes to their writing I felt Ciconia went in the continuity of Rose Guns Days and concentrated more on the plot than the characters, and that’s something that... honestly bother me a bit. I liked RGD, but Ryukishi’s writing is still at its strongest when it comes to very human, character-driven narratives, like Umineko and Higurashi. Like I said, I love all of these kids a lot, and some of them have pretty solid characterization and screentime... but in the end a part of me still feel like we didn’t really... get to know them much, if that makes sense? Even with the main ones, like Miyao, Jayden or Gunhild — most of their scenes were principally focused on the Plot Stuff, and not much about them as people.

I know there are a lot of folks who criticize the slice-of-life parts of Higurashi and Umineko, where there are lots of scenes of just the characters spending time with each other or goofing around and that don’t do much to advance the plot — and in a way I understand that, because yeah, some of these scenes can be pretty long to get through and drag the pacing. But personally, I always thought those sequences are very important. Even if some of them are admittedly unnecessary or are a bit too long, they’re really needed to humanize the characters and make you invest in them  — which was something that was a bit lacking in Ciconia. Basically I guess I’m saying the VN needed more slice-of-life stuff, and that rejoin with what I said earlier — that including some of the tips in the plot here and there instead of putting all of them at the end would have really helped with that.

Now, that said, again I’m aware this is just the first part of the story. I understand Ryukishi needed to have all of those exposition blocks and truly pose the basics of his story first and foremost. So I’m really hoping that after that he’ll be able to focus more on its characters  — especially on those who got almost no screentime, like the Yeladot Shavit and Cairo Squad girls. Having characters and human grounded moments is especially important in a story where war is a big focus like Ciconia.

Now, on the characters themselves... 

Miyao was a really charming protagonist, and I love him a lot! He was so endearing to me during the whole story. He was instantly more likeable as a male protagonist than Keiichi and Battler, where it took me some time for them to grow on me — principally because, well, Miyao don’t have the shtick of sexually harrassing the female characters around him, which was profoundly annoying in the other WTCs. I loved his serious but caring and friendly personality, his friendship with Jayden and Gunhild and with all the other kids, and his anger against the adults trying to use him and the others. His relationship with his father too was interesting. His interactions with Evil Miyao were also pretty intriguing, even if I’m not sure yet what to think of him being a “murder program” or about what even is Evil Miyao. 

Now, the only thing I am on the fence about him is... his whole DID thing and Meow. Like, on one hand, I think it is neat to have a likeable protagonist with a named mental illness, and the narrative felt sincere on not wanting to present this as a bad thing and just a part of who Miyao is... but on the other hand, there were all the jokes made as a result of this, which made the whole thing pretty awkward to me. Furthermore, there’s the problem that this “CPP” thing is not really DID, as if I recall it doesn’t actually seem to come from any trauma-related reason, and is almost a made-up condition? It kinda gave me Kara no Kyoukai flashbacks, in which Shiki, the protagonist, also has an alter, but it is not as a result of trauma or anything — it has a fantasy explanation. And, I mean... An author taking an actual, real condition that a lot of people have to bend it at their will to fit a story isn’t super cool, especially if you’re going to make some jokes at its expense... The other kids calling out Jayden on how he didn’t act properly with Miyao about this was nice though. (Also, now that I think about it, did Miyao just... randomly told all of the other gauntlet knights about it? Wasn’t it said that “CPPs” were something most people didn’t like to talk about? It’s a bit odd.) Plus there’s also the fact Miyao is possibly a “program” and it adds another layer of not-so-great stuff... So I’m just really wary of how Ryukishi is gonna handle this going forward...

Those problems aside, Meow herself was... fine. She’s cute, but she doesn’t really have much going on for her. She and Jayden are dorks together and their scenes definitely made me smile, but their relationship still felt kinda shallow so I don’t have much feelings about them as a couple (like, it’s just that to me Miyao and Jayden have a lot more chemistry and have been friends for quite some time, so it’s just odd that he instantly decides to date Miyao’s sister whom he just met. And, also, he was definitely flirting with Miyao before meeting Meow, too.). It was also pretty jarring the way she just... almost disappears once the war stuff began, so in the end I had this disagreeable impression that she really was just here to be Jayden’s girlfriend, and not as a character on her own or to develop Miyao more...

Jayden was pretty neat too! He’s a character that could be “yikes” pretty easily, but in the end he really did come across as a awkward but kind teenage boy who may be clumsy at times but is still trying his best. In fact, I really wish Ryukishi had wrote Keiichi and Battler more like Jayden. It was nice in general that none of the guys in Ciconia acted inappropriately towards the girls (with the exception of Toujirou, I guess. The way he acted towards Valentina especially made me go “ehh dude please no.” Like I know the LATO girls are said to be older than the other kids so they’re probably 18 or something, but still, it was a bit ugh... But even then it wasn’t something that was too overt, so it didn’t bother me too much), because some of Keiichi and Battler’s antics towards the female characters was something that annoyed me greatly. Don’t get me wrong, I did end up liking Keiichi and Battler despite this, they’re both good kids at heart — but it’s possible to write horny teenage boys without them ~comically~ sexually harassing the girls around them, if you feel me? Aside from that, I like that the story made a point to show that Jayden is actually a pretty lonely and kinda socially awkward kid just like Miyao, and that’s why their friendship work so well. On the other hand, though, his character mostly only turned around Miyao and Meow, and so we didn’t get much of him as a person? Which is a bit disappointing as he is meant to be one of the main kids, so I’ll hope he’ll get more interesting later on.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE GUNHILD, she really intrigue me! I wasn’t expecting to love her so much — for the most part I thought she was okay but nothing more... though now that I finished the story, she’s probably my favorite character for now? Her scene in the restaurant with her sibling, and especially the tips focused on her, really got to me. I loved her cool personality and her backstory was really interesting, as well as her relationship with Miyao and Jayden. She seems to honestly like and care for both of them, but at the same time resent them, and the way she obviously have a lot of pent-up anger towards the world and some self-hatred make her a truly compelling character. I’m pretty intrigued by Maya and her relationship with her too. She’s honestly one of the characters towards who I look forward the most, and I really hope Ryukishi will deliver on her. 

Chloe has definitely a lot of Rena Vibes, so of course I was going to love her lol. Although honestly for now I find her mostly... confusing. She’s obviously really fucked up (CHLOEVIL), and she made me pretty nervous during the entire story because there was this “Okay so when is she going to snap?” kind of tension with her. And her last scene with Lilja gave me chills... At the same time, her kindness and caring nature as well as her friendship with Koshka, Lilja and the  others felt genuine, so it was an interesting contrast. Other than that I wasn’t a fan of the running gag of Okonogi hitting her whenever she mess up (or do not mess up, for that matter)... Like obviously Okonogi is meant to be a Bastard, but the thing being presented as comical made me go :/ I really wish it’s going to stop.

Koshka was cute and also Extremely Relatable in a lot of ways (I, too, would rather spend my time playing silly games on my phone rather than socialize lmao). I love her a lot, and like Gunhild she really fascinate me. I like the fact that she’s meant to be an asocial, cold person but that at the same time it’s pretty easy to see glimpses of the affection she has for Lilja, Chloe or Miyao, and how she’s actually a deeply traumatized and angry teen. I’m pretty intrigued by what kind of “crime” she must have committed and how she ended up being an “equipment”... Not sure what to think about her super brain or the thing about her being some sort of “chosen one” lol. It sounds really shady.

For Lilja, I have to say I wasn’t exactly fond of her at first, but then the small moments we got with her where she obviously care a lot about Koshka and Chloe still got to me. That scene in the tips where she fiercely defends Chloe made me go “awww.” She really give me the impression of being the sort of person to hide her vulnerability behind a tough façade and her odd tics, and in that way she’s pretty similar to Koshka, which is how their friendship feel really special. The revealation at the end that she’s probably faking a lot of her personality and of her friendship with Koshka because it’s an assigment made her and her relationship with Koshka a lot more interesting to me, and I hope it’s going to result in a lot of compelling character stuffs.

Lingji was great! She’s pretty cool. I liked her optimism  and her will to do the right thing, and how that actually cover the fact she’s a pretty fragile and sheltered person. Her scene where she break down after her grandfather’s death is really illustrative of this especially, and where I really felt for her too. I think she’s the most interesting character in term of possible development. I quite enjoyed her friendship with Miyao too, but here again I wish these two had gotten more moments together. Like, how much more impactful the scene where Miyao kill her would have been if we had actually seen these two have some intimate moments before? But, oh well...

Aysha was really cool too, and I especially loved the way her sharp and down-to-earth personality contrast to Lingji’s idealism. The moment where she calls out both of her teammates was super good. Momotake was okay, and I love his intense admiration for Lingji (I’m a sucker for male characters really looking up to cool female characters lol)... but otherwise I felt he was honestly the most stereotypical character of the bunch — especially compared to Lingji and Aysha.

NAIMA IS THE BEST, SHE’S MY BABY I LOVE HER SO MUCH. She was my favorite before I even start the game because of her design alone (SHE’S THE CUTEST CHARACTER RYU EVER DESIGNED OKAY), and I wasn’t disappointed from seeing her actual personality. She’s not especially complex or anything for now, but she has a lot of potential. I loved her relationship with Naomi and Stan too — it kinda felt like two older siblings looking after their annoying youngest one reluctantly, but who still have a lot of affection for them. Also she’s such a little badass, I literally cheered out loud during that rescue scene or during the last battle scene where she screams she wants to protect all of her people. I want more of her in Phase 2 pleaaaase!

Naomi was really overshadowed by Naima and Stan, so as a result I don’t have much to say about her. I think she’s cool, and her backstory about how she apparently lost a lot of her memories and emotions is interesting, but again I can’t say much given we barely see her at all. Stanisław was a good boy, but despite the fact we see him a lot during the story, I... don’t really have a lot of thoughts on him? I liked his implied friendship with Gunhild as them being death metal buddies, but we didn’t actually saw them interacting at all, which was a shame.

Rethabile was the coolest character of the cast, I love her dearly! I like how she can be so adorable and such a dork but at the same time she’s probably the one who has her shit together the most out of all the kids. I feel she really has a good grip on politics and how the adults just want to use them compared to the others — which, well, isn’t all that surprising given she’s literally a princess. The scene with her brother’s death was pretty harsh, and I’m sad they didn’t really... put much attention to her reaction to such a traumatic event. I know the plot hadn’t time for that, really, but I feel even Lingji got more focus when her grandfather died, so I wish we had more of that with Rethabile too.

Ishak and Abdou... well, they didn’t really get much time for them either. They seem like nice dudes, and I really love their relationship with Rethabile, how they tease her quite a bit but there’s still obviously a lot of complicity and respect among them. So I hope we’ll get to know them more, especially on an individual level — as for now they were only present as a duo.

The LATO girls were... interesting too. I especially love Valentina, because she really give me Bad Bitch vibes and I love bitchy female characters lol. It’s pretty clear she has some Secrets and I’m really curious about her goals. As for Maricarmen, I thought she was mostly going to be comic relief like the Yeladot Shavit, but towards the end she actually showed some interesting depth so she did grew on me quite a bit.

And then there was just the teams no-screentime lol. Alright, I guess Suparṇa did get some time, and Rukhi is ones of my faves, but they still were really sidelined. I liked Sujatha, she’s such an uptight idiot, and her scene towards the end where she says she was aware that Miyao’s plan was doomed but still played along for Lingji made me kinda emotional. Rukhshana is the cutest and the greatest — I really liked her personality, how she can be extremely shy but then also completely goof around when she actually trust the people around her. And that moment at the end where she just say to her superiors to fuck off was glorious and one of my favorite scenes. Her relationship with Sujatha and Andry is adorable too. Andry himself was also... not present at all, but I really love the small glimpses of him we have seen, he’s pretty cool. I like how he sincerely seems to care a lot about his teammates despite his aloof character (him protecting Rukhi when their superiors try to hit her at the end was sweet.)

Still, Suparṇa wasn’t sidelined as much as Yeladot Shavit and Cairo Squad, though. I mean, I do like those girls — I adore Gannet because she’s cute as hell, Noor seems cool and Mariana intrigue me, but I can’t actually say much about them. Leah, Fatma and Stephania were also mostly comic relief except for one or two scenes towards the end. So I really hope Phase 2 will remedy to this, ‘cause I want more of these six, definitely!

I’m not sure I have a lot of thoughts about the adults characters quite yet — GERMAN TAKANO cracked me up, but she’s just as great as her Higurashi counterpart for now, and I always trust Ryukishi to write good Terrible Women. Especially Terrible Mothers, which is one of my personal weaknesses. Though I guess it’s not actually been confirmed she’s Miyao’s mom? It’s heavily implied, but we all know Ryukishi love to troll his audience so I wouldn’t put it past him that it is in fact just a red herring, but well, we’ll see I guess. 

Toujirou is obviously a bastard, but he’s an interesting one, and I have no fucking idea what is going on in his head. Like it’s interesting that on the one hand he seems to genuinely care about his son, but on the other hand he has no problem manipulating and screwing him over (and the implication of Miyao being maybe just a program is... ooof.) Okonogi was... a bit less worse than in the other WTCs, I guess? He obviously care about the kids in his own way, and him defending them at the end was nice... but I still can’t really feel anything but contempt towards him. He’s still a pretty bad instructor, and like I say, I’m really not a big fan of the way he treats Chloe at all, even if it’s meant to be “comical.”

The Three Kings mostly made me laugh to be honest, and they’re more plot devices than actual characters for now so I really don’t care about them (a part of me even wonder if they “exist” at all, because, you know, meta stuff). I absolutely LOVED Jestress on the other hand! I have no idea what’s the deal with her, whether she’s Lambda or whatever, but she’s really intriguing and her design is top notch and I want more of her. Seshat was so fucking cool and I don’t have much thoughts about her yet other than I wanna marry her.

And that’s pretty much it!

I’m not really good at predictions or at throwing theories around (sorry, Ryukishi), so I’m not sure what to expect for the rest of the story. I guess my only thoughts are that the moles are probably Gunhild and/or Chloe, but then they seem like obvious candidates, so I don’t know. I kinda suspect Valentina too, because, er, I do not trust her at all and she just have that traitor vibe. 

I really hope too that we’ll have time loops here again instead of a linear story because... well... I don’t wanna these kids to die okay... I also know that Ryukishi said Ciconia is only going to have four parts, and that’d make sense given how long Phase 1 was... but a part of me still kinda hope we’ll have a bit more... I guess it’s just that only four phases seems really little compared to the density of the story, and I’m really hoping he’ll have the time to develop well all of his narrative points and characters...

In any case, I think my thoughts on Ciconia for now pretty much get down to: it’s interesting and it has the potential to be a really great story, even if it’s far from being flawless and that I’m still very wary about how Ryukishi is going to handle some elements in the future.

But I’d definitely recommand it to people who love 07th Expansion stuff and sci-fi stories, and am very much looking forward to Phase 2!

[jimintomystery]

TNG: “Half a Life”

Counselor Troi’s mother Lwaxana visits the Enterprise during a mission to Kaelon II.  She meets Doctor Timicin, a Kaelon scientist who comes aboard to conduct field tests of a plan to save his homeworld’s sun.  But when Lwaxana learns that Kaelon tradition requires Timicin to end his life on his 60th birthday, she implores him to defy the custom, sparking a diplomatic crisis.

David Ogden Stiers portrayed Timicin, which fascinated me in 1991.  I’d recently gotten into watching M*A*S*H reruns and I found it odd that none of the main cast from that show seemed to be around anymore.  Of course, without the upper-crust Boston accent he used on M*A*S*H, he barely seemed to be the same person.  Which I suppose is the whole point of acting, but I was a bit  disappointed.

Patrick Stewart was 50 when “Half a Life” was shot, although Captain Picard is commonly considered to have been about 62 when this episode takes place.  I don’t really accept that convention, and episodes like this one are the reason why.  It’s very clear to me that when the writing staff put this together, they did not think of Picard as being in his sixties, and certainly not as the oldest character in the story.  (Lwaxana’s age is not established, but Majel Barrett was 59 at the time.)  If Picard is 62, he’s a perfect example for Lwaxana to cite of a vital person whose great achievements after the age of sixty would be lost if he’d been subject to the Kaelon Resolution.  But he’s not over sixty, so her arguments end up being more hypothetical.

Lwaxana’s observation that the Prime Directive doesn’t apply to her makes some sense, considering it’s a Starfleet regulation, and she’s not a Starfleet officer.  However, you would think the Federation’s civilian government would share Starfleet’s principles of noninterference.  The Prime Directive seems pretty toothless if private citizens are free to cause the sort of trouble that Starfleet is supposed to avoid at all costs.  I get the feeling this loophole came about because somebody assumed Federation citizens would never get far enough into space to contaminate a civilization except by serving in Starfleet.  That probably seemed plausible on the original Star Trek series, but it’s really iffy here, and totally incredible once Star Trek: Deep Space Nine ramps up.

Timicin’s rationalizations for the Resolution don’t make a lot of sense.  Then again, neither does his explanation for why the Kaelon people can’t evacuate their planet before the sun gets too cold.  I also don’t understand why the Kaelons sent Timicin to the Enterprise alone, instead of pairing him with whoever is going to pick up his work after he’s gone.  It’s fine to believe they’re wrong, as Lwaxana does, but this episode does a fine job demonstrating why that alone isn’t enough to change a society.  If you’re going to intervene, you need a complete picture of what you’re wading into, and that’s virtually impossible with an alien planet you never heard of a week ago.

[quills-and-golden-ink]

Welcome one and all to the second part of the Monthly Guide to Monsters! The talented @downwithwritersblock​ and I have teamed up to bring you some quick and easy guides to some of the world’s most infamous creatures. 

The guide will include: basic background, historical information, abilities, how to defeat them, and portrayals in media. They’ll probably also come with some short stories or prompts! 

For this week, I’ve been tasked with probably one of my favourite mythological beings: vampires. These will be posted on Mondays and Thursdays, excluding this week (since I’ve been busy with stuff). We hope you enjoy! 

Monster Guide #2: The Vampire

Definition: A vampire is an undead or immortal being from folklore that subsists by feeding off the vital force (usually blood) of the living. Vampires are typically creatures that bring about mischief or death. For a long time, vampires were synonymous with demons. Many cultures actually classified vampires as being corpses that were possessed and animated by a demon.

Description: Many early tales described vampires to be bloated; with ruddy, dark, or purple skin, and almost always wearing some kind of dark shroud to hide themselves in (that they usually bring with them from their own grave). It wasn’t until the 19th century, with our more modern day lore that we started to see the classic frail, or gaunt and pale vampires that we have grown used to seeing in the media.

Abilities: These change from culture to culture, although many of them were birthed by Bram Stoker's Novel “Dracula” (which were, btw, super OP). Included are some of the most common abilities associated with vampires (you’ll notice that “glittering in sunlight” is absent because of this). 

Usually immortal, or with at least a very prolonged life span

Increased abilities such as strength, speed, sight, hearing and smell. 

Flight

Some hypnosis, telepathy, illusionary magic. 

Shapeshifting (typically into a bat)

Vampire’s Baptism: the act of healing one with a vampires blood, or turning one into a vampire through mutual biting

Regenerative healing

Immune or really unaffected by conventional or normal means of attack (like being punched, stabbed or shot) 

Night vision

Preventing Vampirism: Vampires eventually caused a bit of hysteria in some cultures, so we see many examples throughout the world of people trying to prevent the rise of the undead.

Some ways found to prevent the rise of a vampire were:

Buried upside down or flipped over.

Some cultures places scythes or sickles beside graves to satisfy the demons they thought would possess the dead. Why? Don’t know but that’s sick. 

Religious symbols, like wax crosses or pieces of pottery with biblical messages like “Jesus Christ Conquers” were commonly placed on corpses to prevent vampirism.

Some took the practical route and decided that separating or destroying the tendons in the legs of the deceased would also keep the dead from rising.

Shooting a bullet through the casket right before burial was also common

Some would put pieces of steel or silver over the corpse’s eyes, in their mouth, in their ears, or in between their fingers.

Pushing Iron needles through the heart was also said to stop a vampire from rising.

Decapitating after death. 

Curing and Killing: 

Garlic was said to keep away vampires

Crucifixes and rosaries were typically said to keep a vampire away.

They could not cross onto sacred or consecrated ground (like a church)

It’s also said they could not cross over running water (no bridges for vampires)

Some folklore says that they lacked shadows and would not show up in a mirror or a photograph (some folklore states that this is a reflection of their lack of a soul, although it could be due to the use of silver in these things)

Sprinkling mustard seeds along the roof of your house was said to keep vampires away, but if it didn't, you’d be alright becauseeee

Vampires, in many myths, could not enter a home without first being invited in. Be careful though, they only need the one invite. After that they might just be able to come and go from your house as they please.

Wild rose stems or hawthorn branches could potentially harm them

In many legends, vampires are warded off, and sometimes even harmed by silver. (Old mirrors were commonly backed with silver, and old photography also used silver specks, which might be the reason they’re not seen in them)

Holy Water or other items blessed by a priest were said to keep them away, and possibly even hurt them.

Vampires were said to be nocturnal, and were very vulnerable or damaged in sunlight. It might have even been able to kill them.

Being set on fire can kill just about everything, and vampires were no exception. 

@downwithwritersblock‘s favourite way to stop a vampire: Arithmomania. An expression or type of OCD in which the person who suffers from it feels compelled to count either their actions or the objects around them.  In many cultures around the world, especially in Eastern Europe and in Asia, it’s said that if you place small seeds (usually poppy seeds), sand or a type of grain like rice beside the grave, or in front of the vampire, they would compulsively have to count it, and that would keep them busy until either you kill them, or until the sunrises and the light kills them for you.

Decapitation was also a very common method in both preventing, and killing vampires.

And of course the most famous of all; A wooden stake through the heart. Many cultures will also tell you that the stake has to be made out of the same kind of wood as the cross that Jesus was crucified on.

History: Here we’ve included two of the most famous “real life vampires” in history! Up first we have...

Vlad Tepes (or as he’s more commonly known: Vlad the Impaler, or Vlad Dracula).

Born between 1428 and 1431 and died in either 1476 or 1477.

He was Prince of Walachia 3 times between 1448 and his death

The second son of Vlad Dracul, who ruled Walachia

Imprisoned in Transylvania, held in Visegrad from 1463 to 1475.

Vlad II got the name ‘Dracul’ when he joined ‘The Order of the Dragon’, a ‘monarchical chivalric order for selected nobility’ in middle Eastern Europe (aka it was mainly Germanic states).

Dracul(a) means ‘Dragon’, and in more modern Romanian it means ‘The Devil’

Vlad III’s prefered method of execution was impalement. Hence the nickname ‘Vlad the Impaler’

Rumours and stories of Vlad spread fast, in fact, books about his cruel acts were best sellers in the German speaking territories.

However, to his own people, Vlad was usually seen as a warrior and a hero.

Bram Stoker was the one to turn Vlad into the legendary vampire with his well known book “Dracula,” published in 1897. It relied on many of the ancient myths of blood suckers found in Romanian folklore. The novel was very loosely based on Vlad, considering Bram Stoker didn't actually know a whole lot about Vlad and Walachia.

Bram Stoker is also among the first to change the traditional vampire into what we know today. His book is, or at least part of the reason that the image of vampires shift into one that is pale and thin, the lack of a reflection or shadow probably starts with his novel as well.

Secondly, we have my favourite: Elizabeth Bathory, aka “The Blood Countess.” 

Considered to be the first female serial killer.

The accusations change a bit depending on the story, but, Elizabeth was a Countess who was accused of taking, torturing and killing hundreds of young girls. She was accused of some pretty gnarly torture methods like covering people in honey and ants, or burning and then dunking people in freezing water, not to mention mutilation. She was accused of cannibalism. She was also said to drink the blood of her victims, earning her the nickname ‘Countess Dracula’. Some also say that as a regular part of her beauty regimen she would drain the blood of young virgin girls, and bathe in it to help keep her young and beautiful. Sometimes I like to call her the inventor of the first bath bomb.

The highest number of victims she was accused of was 650; however, this, like many parts of her story are questionable, and from unreliable or iffy sources.

Vampires in Media: This list is absolutely massive, so I’ve included twelve titles. This includes books, tv shows, and movies, but excludes video games. 

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (TV show, movie, comics)

The Vampire Chronicles/Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice (movie and book)

Carmilla (1871 novel, cute lesbian 2014 youtube series, movie)

The Vampire Diaries (TV Show)

True Blood (Book series, TV show)

Van Helsing (Movie, TV show)

Dracula by Bram Stoker (1897 Novel)

30 Days Of Night (movie)

Twilight (Book series, movie)

The Originals (TV show)

Angel (TV show)

Blade (Movie)

And my personal favourite, which doesn’t fall under any specific monster, is the Women of the Otherworld series by Kelley Armstrong. Would highly recommend. It’s 13 books in the main series, and features all sorts of awesome and well-known supernatural entities such as (but not limited to): werewolves, vampires, half-demons, witches, sorcerers, demons, angels, and necromancers. Fun 18+ supernatural mystery read (with triggers for violence, gore, and explicit sexual content however. Reader discretion is advised.)

Prompts:

1. “You’re so coldblooded!”

    “Uh, yeah? I literally don’t have any blood?” 

2. “The worst part about being a vampire is not being able to take selfies. Do you know how much I miss looking at my own beautiful face?” 

3. “I suppose the best part of this whole ordeal is not having to spend so much time in the vanity.” 

4. “I’m scared to do my eyeliner.”

5. “Werewolves have it so easy! What’s the big deal with turning into a wolf every once in a while? I’d slaughter a country if it meant I could go outside and enjoy the sun. Even as a four-legged mutt.”

[lapeaudelamemoire]

Quick log of films I have watched in the last week so I don't forget: Hero (2002), Zhang Yimou Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000), Ang Lee House of Flying Daggers (2004), Zhang Yimou The Grandmaster (2013), Wong Kar-wai Red Cliff (parts 1 & 2, 2008 & 2009), John Woo Flowers of Shanghai (1998), Hou Hsiao-Hsien Millennium Mambo (2001), Hou Hsiao-Hsien Three Times (2005), Hou Hsiao-Hsien The Assassin (2015), Hou Hsiao-Hsien Burning (Beoning; 2018), Lee Chang-Dong Dear Ex (2018), Mag Hsu & Hsu Chih-yen Painted Skin II: The Resurrection (2012), Wuershan [Rewatch, kinda eh tbh...] In the Mood for Love (2000), Wong Kar-wai Exodus/Cheut Ai Kup Gei (2007), Pang Ho-Cheung La Piscine (1969), Jacques Deray Mildred Pierce (1945), Michael Curtiz So that's 15 new films, 1 rewatch (the guy I was watching it with fell asleep the first time we watched it, which is why we/I watched it again, but can you believe???). I want to note that I think I was less moved by the second watch of In the Mood for Love because... there is no watching In the Mood for Love for the first time again. Also I was really annoyed at or at least not looking forward to what I knew was going to happen, I think. It's still as beautiful, but I think I was too busy being indignant and angry at their spouses and really not happy about them not ending up together anyway even though that's the whole point of the film - so really all in all kind of dreading the premise of all that emotional edging. I think maybe I re-watched it too soon is the issue - I watched it for the first time less than two months ago. As for La Piscine - it is one of the recognised Important Films. I have nothing more to say about that, I think. Really really liked Painted Skin II, but that's because I like Yang Mi and love Zhou Xun in that role, in fact I think I prefer her to Zhang Ziyi on the merit of her in this film and the original alone; also the music still hit me, just like it did in the first film, and her arc in the end is still as moving as (in) the first one, I think. Also she and Zhao Wei play off each other amazingly, they're magnificent in this, their acting is off the scale good here. Just for the woman/woman interaction (and imo genuine love in its own right) I'd say please watch this. Also I'm all for demons and eating men's hearts, so you know. Plus, Yang Mi is adorable and also the visuals are stunning. Honestly I just can't get over the Zhao Wei/Zhou Xun scenes. Everything else really fades/can basically be ignored, i.e. all interactions with the men. Only look at the women in this and you're all good, they're so strong; also yes I am gushing. That being said, valid criticism is deserved in the form of the 'othered' what looks like tribe if not just ethnicity of people, that bit's really quite iffy, also note the use of dreadlocks on the questionable peoples - dreadlocks are always used on the 'bad' characters in Chinese media, so, y'know, (angry) sigh - also the writing overall isn't fucking amazing; I just Like this film. A lot. I also think it's quite good and unusual in its portrayal of a fox demon, because they generally get a really bad rep and Zhou Xun's Xiaowei is really... something. Complex, and not one-dimensionally evil; she's actually moved by things, actually gives things up - although this is not to say she's Good. Yang Mi's bird demon is also not a Bad Demon, so I enjoy this. Anyway. I also really liked Mildred Pierce (1945) - Joan Crawford is a stunner; and yay for a film noir that isn't about a man. I mean, a man is killed, that's true, and that is what sort of 'starts' the film, but it's about a woman and her daughter - and this is frankly amazing, not just to see a strong, successful woman who gets where she is on her own will without a man, but also the particular focus of a relationship between two women, particularly not to do with romantic love as rivals but as familial mother/daughter. Really glad I watched this; and am sure I'll (re)watch it again in the future. It's definitely a noir through and through.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E14 (Apr 17,2018)

Max asking the real questions. [image description: a conspiracy board featuring the title “WHO IS TALIESIN JAFFE?” and highlights such as “IS HE A PYRAMID???”]

Tonight’s guests are Travis Willingham and, yes, Taliesin Jaffe!

Announcements: Vox Machina: Origins issue #6 is out tomorrow, Pillars of Eternity II will feature free DLC with voice sets and character portraits of Vox Machina and can be pre-ordered now (releases May 8th), Brian was a guest on the NGON podcast, 826LA has kicked off their fundraising campaign (up to $40k will be matched by a generous Critter).

@critrolestats for this episode:

There were 7 “nein” references before the game even started.

This is the first episode in campaign to not have a natural 20. (Travis: “Why did you give the Snitch away?!”)

This is the lowest number of crits rolled in a single episode in this campaign: a single nat one.

Episode 74 in campaign one was the only episode with no crits.

Taliesin thinks that interaction with Cree was more stressful than the Briarwood name drop in campaign one, because at least with the latter he had a vague sense of where it was going. Travis is suspicious.

Travis opted to play the game with the Gentleman mostly because he was feeling bored and wanted to be a little reckless that day.

Brian: “Travis shops at Big & Tall, Taliesin shops at Dark & Cold.”

Taliesin is very impressed that a subset of the fans have managed to figure out everything that’s going on with Mollymauk.

Originally, it was going to be Mollymauk Trickfoot, because the original thought was that it was going to be the Trickfoot circus, but Matt vetoed such a strong connection to the previous campaign.

Travis is going to be waiting for a double-cross from the Gentleman. Taliesin points out that it might just be an audition. Could he be a water genasi? Travis: “I think so. Either that, or he’s just got a thyroid problem, so.”

Travis assumed that, if he’d lost, he’d have been required to work jobs for the Gentleman for a while. Either that or tend bar.

Weirdest day job before doing acting full-time? Travis was security in Hollywood, and worked at a baby shower-exclusive catering company. Taliesin worked at a video store, made candles at a candle company, and managed a toy store. Brian worked at a company that rented porta-potties.

Taliesin pitched Matt his idea for Molly when they were getting their tattoos. It’s less him having no memory and more “a particular character that could only function if he had nothing other than himself.” He left a set of clues built into how he was found and where, but there’s nothing Taliesin knows that Molly doesn’t know.

GIF of the week goes to Fjord’s shifting intelligence score.

From Fjord’s perspective, he thinks pulling the falchion may have scared Caleb into being more of a team player, especially with Nott to communicate as a go-between. Fjord wouldn’t have actually done anything with the sword; if they had pushed it long enough, he just would’ve left. Travis also suspects that Caleb is smart and may be playing nice so that Fjord won’t be as suspicious of him next time.

Travis and Taliesin think Fjord and Molly are pretty good people overall, but agree that Grog and Percy were some of the more iffy characters in the first campaign.

On being in the Zone of Truth: “As a disciple of the Moonweaver, that was not a pleasant experience.” Molly had intended to bring the group in after a few months, not after only about ten days of knowing each other. “There’s trust and then there’s trust.”

Travis: “How much does Yasha know?” Taliesin: “Yasha knows everything.” He’s sending Ashley e-mails with the information she knows that hasn’t been revealed to the rest yet.

Fjord thought Molly was the most scheming person in the group, so finding out that he has a very limited memory is a bit of a twist. Fjord’s not so much concerned about finding out about the things he doesn’t know about in his own backstory; he’s comfortable just leaving some things unanswered. “Maybe if I don’t move, everything will just be cool and things will stay the same.” He’s afraid of drastic change and having more episodes like that, because they’re... unsettling.

Molly woke up more-or-less naked, with shaved hair, and without tattoos (apart from the red ones). The tattoos are partly about rebuilding a persona by covering up the old ones. “Molly is not missing any time or memory. Molly is two years old. There’s nothing wrong with him.”

Fjord probably would’ve believed Molly’s story even without Zone of Truth because it was the last possible thing he would’ve expected. “Anything that doesn’t shock me or give me pause, I feel like I’m getting robbed of the Jaffe experience.” He’s just relieved no one else was really getting asked questions.

Taliesin’s a big fan of the notion of identity and playing with how we think of ourselves, based on his own personal experience with reinventing himself. There are elements of that in Percy, but it’s the fundamental function of Mollymauk’s character. He doesn’t care who Lucien was. It doesn’t matter if he’s a good person or a bad person, it’s “I’m made of nothing but the decisions that led me to be this person. You get to decide who you are, and he’s very much decided who he is.” Brian talks about people being defined by their worst (or best) moments. Taliesin: “He’s selected the things that mattered to him, and he’s fully in that and not interested in investing in anything else.”

Travis: “...man, my character has a fuckin’ Texan accent.”

Fanart of the week: “Nightmares”.

It’s worse than Fjord was expecting, because there’s genuinely no way to find out more about what’s going on with Molly. Fjord is pretty sure everyone’s with Molly (if a little suspicious) and nobody sees him as a liability. “I think, if anything, Beau is mildly entertained.” Fjord thinks of him as a time-bomb with a very long fuse.

Molly’s name was chosen for him by Gustav, because they had to forge papers for him. “Empty, so they started calling him M.T.”

Travis likes that nobody seems to care about his backstory at this point. Travis: “The fewer amount of times I wake up spitting up saltwater...” Taliesin: “I genuinely don’t care until anyone chooses to share or it becomes a problem.” Travis: “Just lawful good, that’s what I am.”

Molly is very nervous about future conversations. Taliesin had a lot of strategies in mind, but the one thing he wasn’t prepared for was meeting someone who knew him in the wild; he thought he’d have longer to prepare. He used his power without the swords once but no one noticed.

Fjord looks at both Caleb and Molly as sources of knowledge and experience he could pull from. He was disappointed to find out that Molly’s swords weren’t magical, because he’d hoped to be able to draw some parallels to his own situation.

Mollymauk’s attitude toward Nott’s questions can be summed up as a quasi-friendly but thoroughly sarcastic “What a patronizing thing to say, go fuck yourself!”

Fjord was more excited to take Nott under his wing “until he realized that she didn’t give a shit about being under that wing.” Both Fjord and Molly are a little nervous about Nott and Caleb.

Travis took Warcaster and Molly took Tough for their level 4 feats.

Basic thing about Molly: “The first thing out of your mouth should never be the truth.”

Molly speaks with the same accent as Gustav.

Brief interlude about LaserDiscs. As you do.

Talks Machina After Dark on Alpha:

Special guest star Pillow Matt!

Taliesin is disappointed there hasn’t been a Fjord Prefect joke yet. Travis is tempted to make Fjord’s last name T’ough.

Travis notes that Fjord’s still evolving as a character. “He’s willing to let the cards fall where they may and maybe take some blind risks,” which isn’t a trait Travis shares with his character.

Travis and Taliesin share their Jester impressions.

Brief interlude about the efficiency of tridents vs. quindents. As you do.

Taliesin on Molly: “He is constantly delighted by shit. He finds life delightful, he finds everything delightful. Any thrill or high or otherwise, he is on board. That is what he does with his free time, which he has not had this week.”

They agree that Molly would win against Fjord in a drinking contest. Fjord would be a super nice drunk: “You’re just so nice to everyone and I can always count on you for a smile!” Taliesin: “Molly gets louder the nicer he gets” and might become prone to weird pranks.

What would Fjord have been most afraid of being asked in Zone of Truth? “What’s your biggest fear? Have you ever lost anyone? Where did you come from? What are you really searching for?”

Fjord and Molly approached the blood thing with the Gentleman as the cost of doing business; in for a penny, in for a pound.

Final question of the night from Max: “Taliesin, are you a pyramid?” Taliesin: “This interview is over.”