#this time I decided to slow it down and read it

[sugurus-thoughts]

03. sata doesn't know you like I do

❆pairing — saturo gojo x virgin! reader!

❆summary —santa, doesn't know you like I do i know all of your favorite songs pick up each time you call so why can't I be the one to give you everything you want?

❆ w/c — 15,1k

warnings —nsfw, established relationship, angst, fluff, suggestive, making out, smut, pure love, mentions virginity, first time, touching, MDNI.

a/n — Istarted a series based on, Sabrina Carpenter's ep called Fruitcake. Since Christmas is drawing near I'll base every character on a song title. This series will also continue if it does well also keep note this is my first time writing smut I hope it fit your liking. I hope you all like it!!! ❤️

ps: I didn't proof read this I was so tired but hopefully you enjoy it!!

"Does it hurt, my love?" he whispered, his voice a low, husky caress that sent shivers down your spine. The struggle to contain his pleasure was evident in every ragged breath, yet he maintained a fragile thread of control, solely for your comfort. His eyes, dark pools of desire, delved deep into yours, searching for the slightest whisper of discomfort. But you merely shook your head, a silent assurance that your pleasure exceeded any hint of pain.

"I need words, my love," he implored, his soft, gentle voice a stark contrast to the primal passion that threatened to consume him. His smile, a tender, loving gesture, was solely for you, and you alone. Your response, a broken, trembling whisper, betrayed the emotions that swirled within you.

Satoru was a man of boundless patience, especially when it came to you. A man of honor and quiet dignity, he carried your heart above his own, always putting you first. From the moment you met at a small, unassuming gathering introduced by your ever-thoughtful friend Shoko Ieiri—there was an undeniable spark. Shoko had always believed in love for you, convinced that someone like you, so strong yet so deserving of tenderness, was meant to find it. She saw the beauty in your independence, the strength in your solitude, but also the quiet ache you tried so hard to conceal.

As a lawyer and a fiercely self-reliant woman, you had built a life where love seemed unnecessary, even impractical. You had spent years alone, finding purpose in your work, strength in yourself, and telling yourself that this was enough. You didn’t think love had a place in your world, let alone a man like him. But then came Satoru— persistent, with his piercing blue eyes, his pale skin, and hair like freshly fallen snow, so unapologetically himself. He didn’t just want to know you; he was determined to understand you, to peel back the layers you’d so carefully constructed.

You never thought you’d meet someone like him in your late twenties, when you’d long given up on the idea of love being something for you. Yet here he was, his presence softening the edges of a heart you thought had grown too calloused. He saw you—not the lawyer, not the independent woman who needed no one—but you. The woman who had quietly resigned herself to a life alone, who thought she didn’t want children, who believed her purpose was in helping others, not in being loved herself.

And somehow, against all odds, the gods smiled upon you and sent him your way—a man so steady, so persistent, so utterly devoted to unraveling your barriers. With Satoru, you felt a vulnerability you had spent years avoiding, but also a kind of safety you never knew you craved. It was as if the universe decided you’d spent long enough braving the world alone, and it placed this beautiful, unrelenting force of love in your path to remind you that even the strongest among us are allowed to lean on someone.

As the months passed and Christmas finally arrived, the gift you had been saving for him on this sacred day was nothing short of perfect. Dressed in delicate white lace that caressed every curve of your figure, you moved toward him with a slow, deliberate grace. His world seemed to halt time, space, and eternity all froze in awe of your presence. Breathless and spellbound, he dared not speak, his every thought consumed by the vision of you drawing nearer, a promise of passion in your every step.

Now as you lay beneath him, with his slender fingers inside you, lace has not yet been removed. His eyes boring into your Y/E/C ones, only to find a single tear seep from yours. He was quick to remove his hand but you stopped him so quickly, only for him to cry out his name. Surely it only awakened him fully, not by want or by hast but for your own pleasure.

“Saturo… please just move”, with a bit of hesitation but selfish desire he could not resist her at all,for she was his everything after all. And before he could even think further… you kissed him. Kissed him so profoundly, so delicately almost as if snow would melt away any second now.

And with that,

For the first time his fingers moved and a low moan could be heard from you as he pushed into you slightly. The wet sounds could be heard from your core, minutes before this moment as he laid before your womanhood delicately preparing you for the pain you might yield before you.

“Saturo” a beautiful moan was heard from your lips as he kept residing within, his lust was growing by the minute, only to make you fully his and only his alone.

“Fuck… your so wet my love” he murmured lowly only to kiss your neck, to distract you from the pain. He knew how much it hurt but he knew the pleasure would soon come after. Your moan was getting extremely out of control, and he knew something was coming slowly but surely. The way you tighten around his two fingers was clear you were close to your breaking point.

“You like that?” he asked softly with a smirk.

His ego was getting the best out of him,for him to know that he is your first,made him feel like you belong to him and now man will ever touch you the way he is touching you.

“Saturo please…. there's something.. please” she gripped his arm, only to close her eyes but knowing Saturo he fully didn't like that.

“Open your eyes sweetheart, you're close.. you feel that?” He couldn't help but see the way your breasts were bouncing slightly only for him to start kissing your neck and reach them for them softly. Without removing the lace that hugged your figure so perfectly he kissed your aroused nipples and slightly sucked onto the thin layer of wet patch. The sounds you'd made were wonderful, his name was rolling off your lips and the man he is took pride in this.

“Saturo…. please-pl-please something is happ-” before you could finish he kissed you and the position you were in has slightly changed to an open-legged spoon position,finally just like that he could feel you were close, and he only let you continue to spread his name fully.

“Saturo”a final whisper came from you as Saturo devoured your neck, and slightly pinched your nipples.

“Let go… my love “ and with one final say you came undone and he continued to ride through your climax in your shaking state.

The snow fell relentlessly outside, blanketing the world in quiet serenity, as your own body surrendered to the storm within—a heavenly tempest stirred by nothing more than the way Satoru's striking azure eyes held you captive.

“Are you alright, my love?” he asked, his voice a tender melody that wrapped around your heart. His lips curved into a soft, reassuring smile that made the chaos within you settle for just a moment.

You exhaled shakily, every word feeling like a confession he had been yearning to hear. “I’m okay, Satoru,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, yet heavy with unspoken affection. His gaze deepened, as if your very breath was the only thing he needed to feel complete.

His slender fingers traced your red swollen lips as he slightly opened your mouth to taste yourself. You moaned at his unpleasant actions,only to find yourself empty without his fingers inside you,as much as it hurt the pleasure itself took over only making you crave more and more of him.

Saturo could only smile at your response, as you licked his finger cleanly.

At this cold hour he can only get up to remove the unyielding lace that has been covering your beautiful body slightly. He could only feel the soft flesh of your breasts as he removed the lace inch by inch. The way your body shook at the slightest touches he gave you was a sign that only he was meant to fill up that empty space within you.

As you lie before him, bare and vulnerable like a lamb surrendered to the hands of fate, he sees not just your form but the depth of your soul. Stripped of pretense, you are as pure as moonlight on still waters, and he can only dream of the mysteries that lie beneath the surface, waiting to embrace him in their quiet, untamed beauty.

“Saturo,... it's not polite to stare” your reactions were adorable in this present moment only to make him question how the gods above have blessed him with someone so pure and utterly beautiful.

“Am I not allowed to stare at what's mine now?” he teasted coming closer and closer as he took off his clothes. He could see you blush as you kept glancing in his direction.

And finally as he stripped out of his last, clothing she could see what was waiting for her. His member slipped out perfectly only for you to witness how red the tip was, how it clearly looked like it was in pain. Your eyes grew wide at the thought of what might happen next,

“Now it's not polite to stare, is it love?”He mimicked your words softly which only caused your face to turned a slight crimson. He chuckled softly at your actions.

“It’s okay, baby, come here.” His voice was a low murmur, smooth and commanding. You couldn’t help but marvel at how effortlessly he could shift between personas. One moment, he was wild and unrestrained, laughter spilling from his lips like he didn’t have a care in the world. The next, his eyes darkened, a dangerous edge creeping into his tone like a predator closing in on his prey. And right now, with that teasing smirk and the way his gaze raked over you, you couldn’t decide if you wanted to run... or let him catch you.

“Saturo,.... is there something I need to do?”your angelic voice broke him out of his trace as he pulled you against the edge of the bed only to lean over your naked figure. Before he could respond, you whispered softly into his ear, “Can I put it in my mouth?” with a smirk he softly traced your soft features.

“You sure you can handle it my love…” he loved teasing you like this, but he also wanted to make sure your first time was a beautiful yet memorable experience for the both of you. As a man he didn't want to cross the line but yet you wanted it right?

Without hesitation he kissed your lips, only to guide one of your hands along his hard member. He moaned slightly as your small hands came in contact with him,you gasped at his robbing hard member,and this only made him smirk.

Saturo was acutely aware of his limits, yet in this moment, everything centered around you and your radiant essence. The only thing he yearned for was to envelop you in sheer happiness, to make this snowy night a canvas for your dreams and desires. As the world outside transformed into a winter wonderland, he felt an irresistible urge to explore the very depths of your soul, to discover the tender secrets that lay within you.

Each touch would be a gentle brushstroke, a sweet tribute to the love he held for you—a heartfelt expression of gratitude for your mere existence. He wanted to fulfill your every need, to whisper sweet promises against your skin and illuminate the corners of your heart. This evening was not just a moment in time but a sacred offering, where every caress would speak of devotion, and every lingering gaze would convey an unspoken understanding.

He knew you deserve every ounce of affection he could offer, and as the snowflakes danced in the air, he vowed to make you feel cherished, desired, and utterly intoxicatingly alive. Under the soft glow of the moonlight, he longed to weave a tapestry of intimacy between you, where passion and tenderness intertwined, creating an unforgettable symphony of two souls becoming one.

Before you could even continue your ministrations, he was on his knees in front of your sex,and just like that his tongue came into contact with your most precious parts.

“Saturo…. oh oh my gosh” his name dragged along with your hands in his hair as he pulled you closer to stop moving,trapping you with his most dangerous part: that tongue.

Without warning he slightly pushed his finger within you which only led you to jerk away but his skilled arm has you stepped beneath him like a hungry man devouring his prey.

“Fuck, your still so tight and warm my love,can you hear that?” he was mumbling within you and it only made you want to escape his hungry mouth more. You could hear the sounds your wet sex made as he continued his ministrations.

Your moans continued to break loose in this cold night but in the room the only thing that kept you warm was this man before you ate you out like he was hungry for me. You could feel yourself building up, that familiar feeling was drawing near it was so close, you could see the stars but before you could even grasp the feeling Saturo left you there like an open wound.

Before you could even utter a word, his lips captured yours, an electrifying jolt racing through your body as you tasted the sweetness of the moment. His tongue brushed against yours, sending ripples of sensation cascading through your core. As his hands interlaced with yours, he gently guided them above your head, a subtle but powerful gesture that made you feel both vulnerable and cherished.The kiss deepened, slowing into a languid exploration, each movement deliberate and intoxicating. He paused, his gaze locking onto yours, those deep eyes searching for something, perhaps reassurance. The softest kiss followed, a whisper of lips that lingered like a promise, a quiet apology for the overwhelming feelings building between you, as if he knew the leap you were both about to take.

Your breath hitched as you felt him carefully guided your thighs apart, you felt a rush of anticipation mixed with desire. He leaned in, lips brushing lightly against yours again, as if savoring the taste of you, while his body pressed closer, heat radiating between you. The intimacy of the moment wrapped around you like a warm embrace, each brush of his skin against yours setting every nerve ending ablaze. His hand slid down your arm, relishing in the softness of your skin, before resting at your waist, firm yet gentle.

The question you have been waiting for, like a deer caught in red lights, you couldn't help but shed tears at this very moment. The bliss of innocence that surrounded the both of you like pure love itself couldn't bestow this upon you.

“Are you ready my love?” he whispered the question heavy with promise.

And in that moment , you knew you were ready. You were ready to give yourself fully to this embrace, to explore the depths of intimacy together, to lose yourself in each other’s rhythm—a journey that was just beginning. In that sacred space, everything felt perfect, as if the universe had conspired to bring you both here, to this intoxicating moment where love and desire entwined, igniting a passion that would forever change you.

Nothing compared to this blissful moment, and that's when you felt it.

His member stretched you out so rapidly you couldn't feel the pain, he let out the slightest groan as his face came into contact with your neck only to be filled by your warmth on this very sacred day, it was a gift beyond. As his body lay on top of you, you could tell he was struggling, by just staying still in this moment waiting for you to give him permission. He lifted his head slightly, with sleepy eyes and smiled at you, only to ask in his purest form or words “Are you okay my love?” with tears slightly covering your beautiful face his fingers brushes away, each ripple.

“You can move, it's okay” a small teary smile, on your lips. Your lips lashed onto his before he could even protest.

Saturo could only feel his whole world crash before him as he slipped out of you only to be filled with your warmth again. He could hear the sounds of pain and pleasure escaping your lips. Could you be more of a goddess than you are now,the way your tits are bouncing up and down as he keeps pushing into you.

As minutes passed you could feel that the pain you felt earlier was beginning to pass slowly.

“Fuck, you feel so good my love, so tight so warm ” he moaned in you ear.

“F-F-faster Toru”, as you gripped his shoulders, for dear life. You could feel the pain slightly slither away as he kept going at a slow pace which only made you want him more.

“You like that, huh baby?” he smirked against your now heated skin and he moved slightly faster. You could feel that familiar sensation build up within you, as Saturo kept lacing into your womanhood.

Saturo kept praising you, as he continued his lustful acts, until you felt him slightly, kiss you neck only to latch his lips onto your right breast, the other hand was now playing with the left.

You arch your back slightly from the overwhelming pleasure. Never have you felt such pleasure from a man, the warmness of his tongue, the movement of his hips was enough to drive you to ecstasy.

“Saturo-.... baby… I'm” he let go of you only to go a bit faster you could tell he was close as well,by the way he was moaning and twitching inside your core.

“Fuck I'm just as close, I'm gonna make you all mine” he whispered softly as he gripped the headboard, looking into you eyes.

His finger reached your mouth only to stimulate the sensation more.

“I'm close fuck, just like that baby keep still!”

“Saturo!” you exhaled loudly.

With one strike the both of you reached your climax only to have him fill you up. Just like that he collapsed on top of you, pulverised from exhaustion.

For a moment, there was nothing but silence. The room felt alive with the warmth of what had just passed between you, the air heavy with a kind of intimacy that words couldn’t touch. His fingers brushed over your shoulder, then trailed softly down your arm, as if grounding himself in the reality of you beside him.

"Are you okay?" His voice was low, barely above a whisper, yet it carried a tenderness that melted through you.

You turned to face him, your eyes meeting him in the dim light. “I am,” you replied softly, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Are you?”

He chuckled, the sound deep and warm. “Better than I’ve ever been,” he admitted, his hand finding yours and intertwining your fingers. “I just… I needed to be sure. I don’t ever want to do anything that doesn’t feel right for you.”

Your heart swelled at his words, at the sincerity in his gaze. “It felt perfect,” you assured him. “Because it was with you.”

He exhaled, as if releasing some invisible weight. “You don’t know how much that means to me,” he said, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. “I’ve loved you for so long. I didn’t even think it was possible to feel closer to you than I already did. But now…”

“Now?” you prompted, your voice light and teasing as you watched his expression soften further.

“Now I feel like my heart doesn’t belong to me anymore,” he said, his tone serious yet filled with a quiet awe. “It’s yours. All of it.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but they were happy ones. You leaned closer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “It’s safe with me,” you whispered to him. “Because my heart has been yours for a long time, too.”

In the quiet that followed, the two of you stayed entwined, speaking in murmurs about your love, your dreams, and the endless possibilities of a future spent together. And as you drifted into the gentle embrace of sleep, his arms still around you, you felt as though you had finally found your home, in him.

©suguru's-thoughts 2024. do not copy or translate my work.

artwork does not belong to me. All credits to the owner.

banners are from the lovely @adornedwithlight !

a/n: I won't lie , I don't know if this will be good I felt a bit uncomfortable writing smut but I assume it was my first time . I honestly am slightly feeling a bit, out of place on tumblr and I know its only been a few days hopefully my writing does get better and I will grow an audience some day but please do give your opinions and feedback, it will really be thoughtful, thank you :') 🤍

[orcasoul]

The Plus One

Summery: You and Pedro have been in a relationship for a while but for some reason he'd stopped inviting you to social events. Has he grown tired of you...?

Warnings: swearing, angst (because I liiive for it!), mental health issues, low self esteem from reader, caring Pedro, fluff, use of Y/N.

This is inspired by the video of Pedro dancing his arse off at Sarah Paulsons 50th birthday party. God bless this man for randomly inspiring us when he's not even trying to lol.

Word Count: 3,516

It's a quiet evening at home. The living room fireplace is softy blazing, the crackling red and orange flames along with the Christmas tree lights and low lamp light bathes the room in a reposeful ambience. You're snuggled up on the settee in your favourite fluffy Oodie, sipping a hot chocolate as you finish reading a Christmas rom com by one of your favourite authors. And while this is something that usually helps you to unwind at the end of the day, you can't seem to shift that gutting feeling deep down in your stomach. You should have been with Pedro tonight at Sarah's party instead of here alone. With the book finished you're about to check Kindle for your next read but before opening the app, you'd decided to check your notifications on facebook.

Now you wish you hadn't. Of course the first thing to pop up would be a video of Pedro having the time of his life at the party. Not that that is the real issue here. You're not the controlling or possessive type who wants to keep their partner all for yourself and deny them any kind of social life; quite the opposit, in fact. The thing that really hurts, that makes your heart physically ache is that you're never included in Pedro's social events anymore. You would have loved to have been his date to Sarah's party and make memories with him like normal couples do. You've met Sarah on several occasions and the two of you had always got along really well, so why would he rather go alone than bring you?

You've been together for six months now, so it's not like you're in the early stages where you're both yet to meet the others' family and friends. It just doesn't make sense. You had attended a few ceremonies and promotional events for Pedro's movies with him before now and even though they had been quite intense environments to be in, you were just thrilled to be there with him, to support him and show the world how proud you are of him. And you'd like to think that you were adept at hiding the effects that your social anxiety had on you during these occasions. You'd smile, engage in chit chat and if it became too overwhelming you'd always secretly resort to your special coping technique to calm your nerves; stroking slow circles on the palm of your hand.

But it had been months since you'd last attended any events with him and as time goes on it just hurts more and more. You'd hoped time would have made it easier to accept, but truthfully it makes you feel abandoned, insignificant, like you don't belong in his world. Is that it? Is he embarrassed by you? It's true you're both from very different worlds, having met through friends of friends and not through working together in the film industry. Sometimes you still can't understand why he'd chose to be with a nobody like you when he could literally have any woman he wanted. As your mind continues to spiral, taking you to dark places, tears begin to roll down your cheeks.

To love him so much, only to feel it's not enough for him to want you around is... soul crushing. You'd been trying for so long to ignore that niggling little voice in the back of your mind; the one telling you that you aren't good enough for him and there has been times when you'd been able to mute it, especially when you're together and he looks at you with pure adoration in his eyes, or the times he would come home to LA between filming, even if it was just for a couple of days to see you or if he couldn't make it he'd fly you out to the set. No matter what he always made time for your relationship, but only out of the public eye. Pedro has always been a private person, especially when it comes to romantic involvements, but it feels like he's trying to hide you.

And now, this latest video has turned that niggling little voice into a full on megaphone, screaming an endless barrage of ugly truths at you; you're not enough for him. He's bored of you. You're an embarrassment, a stone around his neck. It was only a matter of time. You clutch at your chest as your heart shatters into a thousand pieces, sobs wracking your body. It's over! How could you have not seen it sooner?! He doesn't need you in his life. He's bloody Pedro Pascal for heavens' sake.

You were a delusional fool to ever believe you had anything to offer him. Maybe this is his way of subtly telling you it wasn't working for him anymore. Maybe he'd hoped showing you the stark differences between you both would have made you realise it couldn't continue, and being the kind and gentle man he is, he didn't want to outright dump you and hurt you, so this was the best strategy.

Now your sorrow is tinged with anger. If he wanted to end it all this time he damn well should have had the balls to tell you instead of dragging it out. So, it's down to you now; if he won't do it, you'll have to. Your tablet screen is now shining with your tears. You wipe it dry with your sleeve and throw it down beside you, Knidle well and truly forgotton. Fluffing up a cushion, you curl up on the settee while your broken heart mourns and weeps.

As the party came to an end Pedro couldn't help but feel a little relieved. He'd had a great time and wouldn't have missed one of his best friends' milestone birthdays for the world, but he missed you like hell tonight. He especially felt the sting of your absence when he would see couples dancing or sitting together, hand in hand or snuggling up. He feels selfish, but he wishes you could have been here tonight. And not just tonight, but to all his recent public appearances like the premiers for The Wild Robot and Gladiator 2, but he won't put you through that again.

The guilt still eats away at him when he casts his mind back to the last couple of times you'd attended high profile events with him, even low key and private ones where there isn't a constant blinding flash of cameras. He knows of your struggles with your mental health, in particular with social anxiety (something he can absolutely relate to) and even through your obvious facade he could see what the pressure was doing to you, often feeling a slight tremble in your hand while laced with his. He could see the difference between your forced smile and your genuine smile; the one that would make your eyes sparkle and he could lose himself in them completely.

But the worst thing was when you start rubbing the palm of your hand over and over when you'd thought he wasn't watching. He knew then it was all becoming too much for you and that's when he'd decided that he won't be selfish anymore, that he had to prioritise your well being and comfort before his own and if that meant attending ceremonies and large gatherings alone, so be it. Of course, he always felt incomplete without you at his side, but your needs far outweigh his own as far as he's concerned. Knowing he can shield you from even a fraction of discomfort makes the sacrifice worth it.

After slipping into his jacket, Pedro found Sarah at the front door of her house, waving some guests off. Wrapping her in a big hug, he said, "Happy birthday again, sweetie and thanks for inviting me." Sarah returned the hug. "I'm so glad you came, but I missed seeing Y/N tonight. How is she?" Pedro couldn't hold back the grin that broke out across his face at the mention of your name. "She's great. I wanted to bring her tonight, but I think the crowd would have been too much for her." Sarah smiled endearingly at her friend. "You really do love her, don't you?" Pedro chuckled. "What makes you say that?"

"Oh no reason..." she smirked. " Only that I've never seen you so smitten and protective over any other woman in all the years I've known you. You've got it bad." Pedro rolled his eyes, playfully. "Yeah, I guess I do." "So, what are you waiting for?" Sarah crossed her arms over her chest. "What are you talking about?" Pedro asked, knowing exactly what she meant. "You've been carrying that ring around with you for weeks now and still haven't asked her. What's holding you back?" Pedro shifted uncomfortably, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Just worried about her, that's all. The moment word gets out of an engagement, paparazzi will be circling like vultures. I don't just want her overwhelmed." "I think you underestimate her," Sarah began, "I don't think she'd ever let her anxiety get in the way of being with you. It's obvious how much she loves you. In fact when I'm around you two for too long, the sweetness gives me temporary diabetes." Pedro let out a deep belly laugh at that, drawing one from Sarah in return.

"Just do it..." she urged, gently. "You know she'll say yes." Pedro smiled and nodded, "I know." "Well..." Sarah yawned, "Get out of here. I'm fifty now and need my beauty sleep." She gave Pedro another hug. "So, I'll see you and Y/N for lunch next week?" "Sure," Pedro replied, "Goodnight, sweetie." He waved as he walked to his car. "Night," Sarah called out before closing the door.

Settling in his car, Pedro connected his phone to the car speaker and rang your phone. He promised he'd call after the party to say goodnight and couldn't wait to hear your voice. But as soon as you answered, he knew something was wrong. "Hey baby, everything okay?" he asked, worridly. His worry only increased when you cleared your throat, trying to hide the tremble in your voice. "Yeah um... I'm fine." You most definitely aren't fine! "You're a shit liar, you know that?" Pedro says, lightheartedly to help put you at ease. Now his tone turns more serious. "Tell me what's wrong." Silence... "Y/N? You're starting to scare me now." "I told you I'm fine. I'm just... tired." You tried to sound convincing but failed, spectacularly.

"I'm coming over -" "No!" Your abrupt outburst silenced Pedro. You've never turned him away in all the months you've been together. "It's... uh... it's late. You should just get home safe." Pedro sighed. "I know something's wrong and if you won't tell me on the phone I'm coming over." At that, you burst into tears. A pang shot straight through Pedro's heart at the sound of you crying. "Hey, baby, talk to me!" he pled. "What happened?" In between the the sniffling your voice became strained. "I didn't want to do this over the phone." Pedro suddenly had a sinking feeling in his gut, not liking the tone of this conversation. "Do what?" he asked, hesitantly. "Its..." sniffle, "It's over."

If Pedro hadn't already been sitting in the car his legs would have given out on him! "W- what?!" he stuttered in disbelief. "What do you mean it's over?!" His hands gripped the steering wheel for support. Where the fuck did this come from all of a sudden?! "Please..." you whispered, sounding mentally drained. "Don't pretend you didn't know this was coming. If you don't want me anymore you should have said something sooner." Pdero jerked his head back, blinking in shock. "What the hell are you talking about, Y/N?" You are full on sobbing now, your words just an unintelligible jumble. "I'm coming over, right now!" "No, please-" "I'm coming over!" he cut you off bluntly and hung up the phone.

His hands shook as he started up the engine and it took all of his willpower to not floor it to your house. Getting pulled over for speeding is the last thing he needs right now. The whole way over, his mind was a frantic mess. What could have happened between the last time he saw you (which was only yesterday) and now? Did he say something? Do something? When he got to your house, he practically flew from the car, his fist pounding on your front door almost as hard as his heart was pounding behind his ribs. "Baby open up, please. I'm not leaving until you talk to me." A few moments later the door cracked open and there you stood, puffy eyed and blotchy faced. Your lips had swollen and your nose shone red from crying.

Pedro could have cried himself from the state you're in. Without a second thought he pushed his way through the door and swept you into his arms, cupping the back of your head to his chest. To his relief, instead of pushing him away, you encircled your arms around his waist, holding him tight. He reached back to close the door behind him, then guided you to the setee, sitting beside you. "Now, what's all this about, hmm? I know this isn't what you really want." You shook your head, a small humourless laugh escaping you. "Of course it's not, but deep down I think it's what you want."

Pedro's forefinger gently tipped your chin up so you were looking into his eyes; big puppy dog eyes filled hurt, confusion and fear. "What I want?" His bottom lip twitched as if he was lost for words. You nod, wiping your cheeks. "W- why would you ever think something like that, sweetheart?" Pedro's shocked expression now has you doubting yourself. Were you wrong? But how could you be? For a while, you've been trying to ignore the feeling that he was slipping away but looking at him now... It's like he'd never even entertained the idea of leaving you. All this uncertainty is giving you whiplash and you can't hold it in anymore. You need to get everything off your chest.

"I..." you trail off as you feel more tears gathering, ready to pour out along with all your insecurities. "...I feel like you don't want me around anymore..." you begin, chest shuddering with nerves and hiccups. "You never invite me to anything, whether it's to do with your public life or even your social life. I'm never included like a partner should be. I need you to be honest... Are you ashamed of me? Because sometimes I feel like you don't want to be seen with me and that you've been pulling away..." You're rambling now, but you just can't stop. "I know I'm not on the same level as you and there are so many beautiful women out there throwing themselves at your feet. Maybe I don't belong in your world. Maybe I'm not enough for you-" Pedro's hands on either side of your face stops your self deprecating tirade.

"Baby, don't you ever put yourself down like that again, you hear me?" You're shocked to see Pedro's cheeks are now wet too. "I'm sorry. Fucking hell! I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. I thought I was protecting you this whole time." "Protecting me?" you ask in bewilderment. Pedro gave you a sad smile. "I Know from years of experience that being in the spotlight is tough. It can be draining and I could see how hard it was for you." Pedro took one of your hands and turned it over, rubbing slow circles into your palm. When you realised what he meant by that action, he nodded and kissed your forehead.

"I know you tried to hide it from me, but I noticed every time." "I'm sorry," you mumbled, shame burning your cheeks. "No." Pedro squeezed your hand. "You never apologise for that. I'm the one who's sorry. I was afraid if I mentioned it, you deny it for my sake, so I stopped asking you to come with me thinking it was the best thing for you." Pedro exhaled and your heart ached for him, seeing the guilt and remorse crushing him. "I didn't think it would have looked like I never want you around, 'cause the truth is I miss you, EVERY GODDAMN TIME I have to attend these things without you. I want you with me, now and forever. I'll tell you what..." he looked to be carefully considering his next words. "if you feel up for it, come with me to the next event and if you feel overwhelmed at any point, you tell me and we'll take some time out or even leave."

More tears fall, but this time from sheer relief. You hadn't realised you'd dropped your head again until Pedro, once again, lifted your chin. He looked into your eyes with a fierce and passionate determination. "Now, I'll say this only once; I'm not ashamed of you, we are on the same level, you are more than enough for me and you ARE my world. I love you, so much!" You couldn't fight the beaming smile that practically split your face and you grabbed Pedro by the collar of his jacket, crashing your lips against his.

A surprised "Oomph!" came from his throat and you felt him smile against your mouth. His hands slid to your waist and he pulled you flush to his upper body. His tongue licked your lips and you opened them, allowing him to deepen then kiss; a kiss filled with love, reassurance and a promise of forever. Pedro then broke the kiss, pulling you into a hug. "I love you too," you whispered into his ear. "And I'm sorry, I should have told you how I was feeling instead of keeping it from you." Pedro cupped your cheek, wiping away a tear. "I'm sorry too, for making that decision for you instead of talking to you."

You let out a lighthearted chuckle, Pedro's frown softening at the sound. "I guess it was just bad communication on both our parts." "Yeah..." he agreed. "Let's make a promise to each other, right now; that we'll always be open and honest with each other and not keep things bottled up." "I promise," you smile and kiss the tip of his nose. "And I promise, too," he returned the kiss. With all the tension drained from your body, you suddenly feel exhausted and can't stop the big yawn taking over you. Pedro smiled at you, adoringly. "I think we should get you to bed, sweetheart." He stood up, picking you up off the setee and made his way to your bedroom.

"Will you stay tonight?" You whisper as you snuggle into his neck, inhaling the scent you love so much. "Of course I will." He kissed the crown of your head. While you used the bathroom, pedro changed into a pair of PJ bottoms and an old T-shirt he'd left here for when he'd stay over. He used the bathroom after you, rushing through brushing his teeth just so he could return to you sooner. Walking into the bedroom, he laughed to himself when all could see was your eyes peeking at him from the edge of the quilt, which was pulled up to cover your nose. God, you look adorable. Your eyes creased in the corners as you laughed under the cover, then pulled it away for him to settle in next to you.

Pedro laid on his back, lifting his arm for you to snuggle into him. Sighing happily, you lay your head on his broad chest and lace a leg over his hips, the steady thump of his heartbeat and the warmth of his body soothing you instantly. "I love you." You tipped your head up to kiss him softly on his lips. "I love you too," he purred, tightening his arms around you. It didn't take you more than ten minutes to drop off, judging by your slow breaths. Pedro, on the other hand, stayed awake long after you'd dropped off, just relishing the feeling of holding you in his arms. He feels sick to his stomach when he thinks about how close he came to losing you tonight, and all because of a misunderstanding.

He thinks of the ring he's been carrying around, how he almost lost the opportunity to give it to you. Well, he won't wait any longer. If tonight has taught him anything, it's that nothing is guaranteed in life and, even though he never once doubted you'd say yes, just your devastated reaction to believing you'd lost him proves that you love and need him as much as he does you. Tomorrow he'll ask you; He'll wine and dine you at your favourite restaurant, take you on a stroll along the beach and then, he'll get down on one knee and invite you to share the rest of your life with him.

@greenwitchfromthewoods @picketniffler @liciafonseca @misscornelia13 @missadangel @southernbe

[yaniluvs]

𝒾𝒾 ┆ ⋆.˚ ⚾️ 승민 : AS WE ARE “ 𝑏𝘰𝘰𝑘𝑠, 𝑝𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑒𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑒𝘵𝑠 𝑏𝑢𝘵 𝘵ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝘰𝑝𝑙𝑒. ” ── baseball guy bumps into you twice in the same day, first the library and then the pathway outside a convenience store, but maybe you get to know him better?

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𓍯 baseballcapt!seungmin ʚଓ fem!reader ：（ 𝒾 ）4.1k ── ༯ SERIES (?) uni au, slow paced & slow burn, curiosity, fluff, strangers to friends to ???, small town, slight angst, language, skz ensemble, very long, y/n is a foreigner/has mixed ethnicity. ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY . /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི

yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ as we are mv, i love you. i want it tattooed in my head. my heart too. had fun writing this chapter, sorry for the delay!! here you go <3 also, i just crossed 300 followers? really? if you know, i did just pass 200 like two days ago. thank you so much. this really motivates me TT. comments, likes, req/asks and reblogs are always appreciated ! send in a reply or an ask if you want to be in my mastertag, or my individual series' taglists. happy reading <3

the library was quiet, the kind of quiet that felt like it was carved out of the world itself. sunlight streamed in through the large windows, casting soft patterns on the wooden floors. it wasn’t a large library—small, cozy, and tucked away at the edge of the town, mostly frequented by students and a few older residents who enjoyed its peaceful atmosphere.

seungmin pushed open the door, a soft chime ringing as he stepped inside. he didn’t particularly enjoy coming here—it wasn’t exactly his scene—but he had a book to return, one his friend had borrowed under his name. as usual, he wore his baseball cap low, the brim shading his face, as he approached the front desk.

a blonde was sitting behind the counter, his deep voice calm as he hummed a tune to himself while stamping books. seungmin placed the book on the counter, nodding slightly.

“returning this,”

felix looked up briefly, gave a small nod, and reached for the book without much thought. “got it.”

the guy turned away without another word, heading toward the shelves by the windows. it had been a while since he’d been here, and he didn’t remember much about the layout, but he found a stool near an aisle and sank down onto it. pulling a small notebook from his jacket pocket, he uncapped his pen and began writing.

he always wrote when things felt too noisy inside his head. the notebook held snippets of his thoughts, observations, and, lately, small moments he hadn’t been able to forget—like her.

behind the counter, felix finished sorting the returned books before glancing at the time. it was quiet enough that he decided to assign someone the task of checking on the lone customer.

“y/n,” he called, his voice low so as not to disturb the silence.

she turned from the bookshelf she was organizing, brushing her hands on her skirt. “yeah?”

“there’s someone by the windows. go check if they need anything,” felix said, gesturing lazily toward the back of the library. “seems like he’s settled in, but we’re supposed to, you know, do our job.”

the girl rolled her eyes with a small smile. “fine. anything else, your majesty?”

felix smirked. “just be your usual charming self.”

she shook her head, adjusting the loose cardigan over her blouse as she walked toward the windows. the aisle was bathed in golden light, and at first, she only saw the figure sitting on the stool, hunched slightly over something in his hands. it wasn’t until she got closer that she froze.

seungmin?

he didn’t notice her at first, too focused on whatever he was writing. his profile was sharper in the soft light, the cap hiding most of his messy brown hair. she hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to speak, but curiosity got the better of her.

“so you come to libraries now too?”

her voice was soft but laced with a playful edge, and seungmin startled slightly, his head snapping up. his dark eyes widened for a fraction of a second before narrowing in faint recognition.

“you,” he said flatly, closing his notebook as if on instinct. “what are you doing here?”

y/n tilted her head, her grin widening. “i work here.”

he blinked, clearly caught off guard. “work here?”

“yup,” she said, crossing her arms. “not that you’d know, considering you don’t seem to come here much.”

“i don’t,” he admitted, leaning back slightly on the stool. “this isn’t really my thing.”

“i can see.. then what brings you here today?”

“returning a book,” he said simply, tapping the closed notebook against his knee.

she raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer. “you don’t strike me as the type to rent books, either.”

“well, it wasn’t mine,” he clarified. “a friend borrowed it under my name.”

“ah,” she said, nodding. “makes sense. still, didn’t think i’d see you here.”

“same,” he replied, his tone neutral but his gaze steady on her. “i didn’t know you worked here.”

“well, it is a new job,” she said, shrugging lightly. “started about a week ago. felix and i both work part time, after uni.”

“felix?”

“the guy at the front desk,” she explained. “my best friend. he’s nice—well, mostly,” she added with a small laugh.

seungmin didn’t comment on that, his eyes flickering toward the front desk briefly before settling back on her.

“alright, mr. mysterious,” she said, tilting her head playfully, “if you’re not here to rent books or socialize, what’s the notebook for? don’t think i didn’t notice you scribbling something down.”

seungmin’s fingers tightened slightly around the notebook resting on his knee, and for a moment, it seemed like he wasn’t going to answer. finally, he shrugged, his voice low. “just… thoughts. random things.”

“random, huh?” she echoed, leaning forward just enough to tease without invading his space. “like what? are you secretly writing the next great novel?”

he huffed, the faintest hint of a smirk ghosting across his lips. “no.”

“then poetry?” she guessed, her eyes sparkling. “or are you jotting down world domination plans? oh, wait! is it—”

“it’s none of those,” he interrupted, his tone firm but not unkind.

“you’re no fun.”

“you talk too much,”

“i’ve been told that before,” she replied, unfazed. “but come on, i’m curious! what could possibly be so secretive that you can’t share with your friendly neighborhood library worker?”

he gave her a long, measured look, as if debating whether or not to humor her. “it’s just a journal,” he admitted finally, his voice barely above a murmur. “nothing special.”

her expression softened at that, and she straightened slightly. “a journal?”

“yeah,” he said, his eyes dropping to the notebook. “helps me think.”

“that’s actually… really cool,” she said, her voice sincere. “i’ve tried keeping journals before, but i always end up doodling in the margins or writing nonsense.”

seungmin glanced at her, his brow raising slightly. “why?”

“i guess i’m too impatient,” she said with a small laugh. “my thoughts move faster than my pen can keep up.”

he didn’t respond, but there was something in his gaze that made her feel like he understood.

they fell into a comfortable silence again, the soft rustling of pages and distant hum of felix’s humming at the front desk filling the space. y/n leaned back against the shelf, her arms crossed loosely, and studied him for a moment.

“you’re a quiet one, huh?” she said finally, her tone light.

“we're in a library.”

“oh my bad. no! but still, in the field-”

“is that a problem?”

“not at all,” she said quickly, smiling. “it’s just… different. most people i know are always trying to fill the silence, you know? but you’re just okay with it.”

seungmin shrugged, his gaze shifting to the window. “silence is easier.”

“easier than what?”

“than talking.”

she blinked at the honesty in his reply, her teasing smile softening into something more thoughtful. “i guess i can see that,” she said quietly. “but talking isn’t so bad, you know. especially when the person you’re talking to isn’t half bad.”

he looked at her then, his dark eyes steady and unreadable. “you think so?”

“obviously,” she said with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. “i mean, you’re tolerating me, and that’s saying something.”

seungmin’s lips twitched, the closest thing to a smile she’d seen from him. “you’re persistent, i’ll give you that.”

“thank you,” she said, pretending to curtsy dramatically. “i’ll take that as a compliment.”

they stayed like that for a while, the silence between them growing less like a void and more like a bridge. y/n found herself wondering what he was thinking, what stories were tucked away in that notebook of his.

“so,” she said eventually, her voice soft, “if you don’t come here often, where do you usually go?”

he hesitated, his fingers idly tapping the edge of the notebook. “the field. or home.”

“not much of an explorer, huh?”

“not really.”

“well,” she said, her tone brightening, “i'm no dora but if you ever feel like venturing out, i know a all the good spots. i mean, i do live here since i was three, and i do work here now, so you’ll know where to find me.”

seungmin looked at her, his gaze lingering for a moment before he nodded slightly. “okay, but don't take my word for it.”

“already ahead of 'ya!” she beamed.

“y/n!” she heard her friend's voice calling her, it immediately widening her eyes.

“well,” she said, pushing off the shelf and clasping her hands behind her back, quickly “excuse um.. felix.” she clears her throat awkwardly. “i should probably get back to work before felix yells at me, again.”

“you should.”

“i should..”

seungmin huffed softly, shaking his head.

“see you around, car girl,” he corrected quietly, almost to himself.

she froze, turning back to face him. “what did you just call me?”

he looked up, his expression unreadable but his tone steady. “car girl. suits you.”

y/n blinked, her cheeks warming slightly. “i—well—okay. i guess i’ll take it.”

“see you around, mysterious baseball guy,” she said, flashing him a playful grin as she started to walk away. “what? you get what you give.”

he raised an eyebrow. “mysterious baseball guy, really?”

she grinned. “well, you called me ‘car girl,’ didn’t you? it’s only fair.”

he shook his head, but there was the faintest hint of a smirk on his lips as he replied, “sure. see you, car girl.”

and for the first time, as she walked back to the front desk, she felt like something between them had shifted—softly, subtly, but undeniably.

she turned again, her heart fluttering inexplicably as she walked back to the front desk. felix raised an eyebrow as she returned, but she waved him off, not ready to explain the strange, quiet boy sitting by the window.

seungmin stayed where he was, his pen hovering over the open page of his notebook. slowly, deliberately, he wrote,

car girl.

the air outside the convenience store carried a faint chill, the kind that hinted at winter’s slow approach. y/n stepped out, balancing the plastic bag of groceries on her hip while holding her phone in her other hand. the sun had dipped below the horizon, leaving the sky a gradient of pale blue and deep indigo, and the streetlights had just started flickering on.

she didn’t notice it at first, not until she heard a faint whimper. a stray puppy. it was small, shivering by the edge of the pavement, its thin brown fur offering little protection against the cool evening air.

“oh, you poor baby,” she murmured, immediately setting down her bags and crouching to its level. the pup looked up at her with wary eyes, its ears pinned back, but it didn’t run.

“hey, it’s okay,” she said softly, reaching out a hand. “i won’t hurt you.”

the puppy sniffed cautiously before stepping closer, its small tail wagging hesitantly. she smiled, her heart melting as she stroked its head gently.

“you must be starving,” she said, trying to converse with the dog, glancing at the convenience store behind her. you can call her idiotic, but hey, she's a sunshine! “wait here, okay? i’ll get you something.”

she straightened, leaving the groceries by the curb as she darted back inside. when she returned a few minutes later, she had a packet of wet dog food and a disposable bowl. she opened the packet, her fingers fumbling slightly in her hurry, and poured the food into the bowl.

“there you go,” she said, setting it down.

the puppy sniffed the bowl before diving in, eating with the kind of desperation that made her chest ache.

“slow down, buddy,” she said gently, laughing softly. “it’s not going anywhere.”

as she watched the puppy eat, she pulled out one of the ice creams that she'd got from the cvs, peeling the lid off and taking a small bite. the cold sweetness melted on her tongue, and for a moment, she let herself enjoy the simple pleasure of the moment.

“y/n?”

the familiar voice startled her, and she turned quickly, her eyes widening as she spotted seungmin standing a few feet away. he had his hands in the pockets of his jacket, his baseball cap pulled low, and his expression was unreadable as always.

“seungmin?” she said, blinking. “what are you doing here?”

“could ask you the same thing,” he replied, stepping closer, crouching down beside her. his eyes flicked to the puppy, which was still happily eating. “who's this?”

“well, a stray,” she said, brushing her hands on her skirt as she still stood crouched. “i found it shivering out here. couldn’t just leave it.”

he crouched down, studying the puppy with quiet interest. “you have a thing for strays, don’t you?”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“first a stray guy, now a stray pup,” he said, glancing up at her with a faint smirk.

“are you calling yourself a stray? am i hearing you right? also- you're not.. stray, you’re just selectively social.” y/n blinked before laughing, her cheeks warming slightly.

“is that what you’re calling it?” he muttered, but his tone was light.

“well, maybe, i just have a thing for dog-like people.”

“are you calling me a dog?”

“yes. i mean- no, but yeah! i mean, look at you. your side profile looks like one of an adorable dog's.”

“so first you call me a dog, and second, you're calling me cute?”

“did i stutter?”

“bold.”

“no, just truthful.”

the puppy finished eating and looked up at seungmin, its tail wagging tentatively. he reached out a hand, letting it sniff him before scratching behind its ears.

“cute,” he said simply, glancing over to her then back at the puppy, his voice soft.

y/n smiled, watching the scene unfold. there was something about the way he moved, so careful and deliberate, that made her heart feel strange.

“do you a dog of your own at home?”

“what makes you say that?”

“you're petting it well, like a true owner.” she grinned, shrugging. “or is it just your dog-like instincts, after all you are interacting with your kind.”

“if you don't stop-”

then came a tiny bark, from the puppy, looking at the two as they turned their heads.

“what? don't tell me you want more?”

woof.

one cvs pet-cup later.

“i got ice cream,” she said after a moment, holding up the second ice cream cup. “want some?”

he glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. “ice cream? in this weather?”

“it’s never the wrong time for ice cream,” she said firmly. “besides, i got chocolate. don’t tell me you don’t like chocolate.”

“i don’t dislike it,” he said, standing and taking the cup from her. “thanks.”

they stood side by side, leaning against the railing by the curb as they ate. the dog lay down at their feet, looking content for the first time that evening.

“so,” y/n said, breaking the comfortable silence. “what brings you out here?”

“groceries,” he said, nodding toward a small bag he’d set down earlier.

“for your family?”

“my dorm-mate and i,” he said simply, taking a small bite of the ice cream.

“oh, i see, you're a good friend and dorm-mate then, huh?” she teased, nudging him lightly with her elbow.

he shrugged, his expression unreadable. “i can't cook without burning the kitchen down and i owe the guy for cooking everytime.”

“you baseball types are all the same.”

“excuse me?”

“my grandpa used to be on a big player back in the day, and surprise surprise, he can't cook for a living either.”

“hey, it's called a skill. you can't balance two at once, can you?”

“i cook the best stews, well after my grandma. and i'm a commerce student.”

“it differs each person.”

“whatever you say, baseball guy.”

they fell into silence again, the kind that felt less like an absence of words and more like an understanding. y/n finished her ice cream and bent down to pick up the empty dog bowl, her cardigan slipping off one shoulder in the process.

seungmin’s gaze flickered to her then, lingering for a moment longer than it should have. the way her hair fell loosely around her face, the way her eyes softened as she looked at the pup—it was a kind of beauty that felt unassuming, effortless.

when she straightened and caught him staring, he looked away quickly, his ears turning slightly pink beneath his cap.

“you’re quiet again,” she said, tilting her head. “what’s on your mind?”

“nothing,” he said quickly, his voice a little too sharp.

she didn’t press, though she smiled knowingly. “you’re hard to figure out, you know that?”

“good,” he muttered, finishing the last of his ice cream.

she laughed, the sound light and musical. “well, i think i’m getting there. slowly but surely.”

the puppy yawned, curling up at their feet, and y/n crouched down again, running a hand over its back. “you think it has a home?” she asked softly.

“doesn’t look like it,” seungmin said, his tone quieter now.

“i wish i could take it in,” she said, her voice tinged with sadness. “but my grandparents… i know they’d be thrilled about a puppy in the house, but they're already busy to take care of it. and i have uni.”

he didn’t respond immediately, his gaze fixed on the dog. “it’s lucky you found it,” he said after a moment. “not everyone would stop.”

she looked up at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. “i guess i just can’t help it,” she said with a small smile. “things like this make me… happy, you know? helping.”

he met her gaze then, his dark eyes steady. “yeah. i can see that.”

for a moment, neither of them spoke, the world around them fading into the background. it was just the two of them, the quiet, and the warmth of something unspoken but undeniable.

“well,” y/n said eventually, breaking the spell, “i should probably get this little guy to a shelter or something.”

“i’ll come with you,” seungmin said, his voice firm.

she blinked. “are you seriously offering to hang out with me?”

“i want to help the puppy. you're just a.. plus one deal.” he said, cutting her off.

“yeah, right.” her cheeks warmed again, but she nodded, her smile soft. “okay. let’s go.”

as they walked down the quiet street, the dog trotting happily between them, y/n found herself stealing glances at seungmin. for all his gruffness and quiet ways, there was something about him that made her want to know more.

and though he didn’t say much, the way his gaze softened when he looked at her made her think he felt the same.

the streetlights cast a warm glow as y/n and seungmin walked side by side, the stray dog happily trotting between them. the soft hum of the town at night—distant cars, the faint buzz of streetlights—filled the silence. it wasn’t uncomfortable, though; it felt like the kind of quiet you could sink into, where words weren’t necessary but still welcome.

she pulled her phone out of her pocket, glancing at the time. “i should call my grandparents. let them know i’ll be a bit late.”

seungmin looked at her briefly, his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets. “you don’t have to explain to me.”

she smirked at his dry tone. “well, i wasn’t asking for permission, mr. quiet.”

he huffed softly, his version of a laugh, and she pressed the call button.

the phone barely rang before a warm, slightly teasing voice came through. “y/n, where are you? you said you’d be back by now.”

“sorry, grandpa! i got caught up with something. i’ll explain when i get back.”

her grandfather’s voice softened. “caught up, huh? does this ‘something’ involve a certain baseball boy?”

her face burned instantly, and she shot seungmin a quick glance. thankfully, he seemed entirely focused on the dog. “gramps!” she hissed into the phone, her voice barely above a whisper.

“what?” her grandfather replied, feigning innocence. “i’m just asking.”

“you're impossible,” she muttered, her cheeks still warm. “and no, this has nothing to do with him. i just—uh—found a puppy. a stray. i’m taking it to a shelter.”

“a stray puppy? and you’re walking around this late?”

“i’m fine, grandpa,” she reassured him quickly. “i’m not alone.”

the pause on the other end of the line was telling. then, her grandmother's voice came instead, even more excited. “so, it is the baseball boy! isn’t it?”

“i'll see you later, gramma!” she said quickly, her voice rising slightly in embarrassment.

“hey! be safe. and bring the puppy if the shelter doesn’t take it.”

she hung up, letting out a deep sigh and pinching the bridge of her nose.

“trouble?” seungmin asked, his tone casual but curious.

“not really,” she said, slipping her phone back into her pocket. “my grandparents just… like to tease me.”

“about what?”

she hesitated, biting her lip. “nothing important.”

his gaze flicked to her, one brow raised, but he didn’t press further.

instead, she changed the subject. “so, are you always this grumpy, or is it just for me?”

he scoffed lightly, his lips twitching in what might’ve been the start of a smile. “i’m not grumpy.”

“you’re totally grumpy,” she said, grinning. “but it’s okay. i like grumpy.”

“i’m not grumpy,” he repeated, a little more defensively this time.

“sure you’re not,” she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

the puppy barked softly, as if in agreement, and she laughed. “see? even he thinks you’re grumpy.”

seungmin sighed, shaking his head. “you talk a lot, you know that?”

“yeah,” she said easily, glancing up at him. “but you don’t talk enough, so it balances out.”

he didn’t respond, but the corners of his mouth quirked up ever so slightly.

they walked a little further before she spoke again, her voice quieter now. “do you think anyone will adopt him?”

seungmin glanced down at the pup, whose tail wagged happily as it walked between them. “maybe. he’s small. cute. people like that.”

she nodded thoughtfully, a small smile playing on her lips. “i hope so. he deserves a good home.”

“why didn’t you just take him in?” he asked, his tone more curious than critical.

she shrugged, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “i told you, i have uni and my grandparents are already a bit busy and need rest, you know.”

“would you keep him if you had a sitter for the time you were unavailable?”

“in a heartbeat,” she said without hesitation. “but… i don’t know. maybe someday, when i have my own place.”

he nodded, falling silent again.

“what about you?” she asked after a moment. “would you ever get a puppy?”

“maybe,” he said, his voice thoughtful. “if i had time for one, but two of my friends already have dogs, so i guess it is enough for me.”

“you don't seem like a dog person, but i bet you are.” she teased.

“why not?”

she tilted her head, pretending to think. “i don’t know. you’re just… too serious. dogs are all about fun and chaos.”

“and you think i’m not fun?”

“i know you’re not fun,”

his smirk widened, just a fraction. “you don’t know me that well.”

“maybe not,” she admitted, her voice softening. “but i’d like to.”

he glanced at her then, his expression unreadable. the streetlights caught the gold in her eyes, and for a moment, he felt something strange in his chest—something warm and unsettling all at once.

before he could figure out what to say, the dog barked again, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“we’re almost there,” she said, pointing to the shelter just ahead.

seungmin nodded, his hands tightening slightly in his pockets.

as they reached the shelter’s entrance, she bent down to give the pup one last pat. “you’re gonna be okay, buddy,” she murmured. “they’ll take good care of you.”

seungmin watched her quietly, his gaze lingering on the way her fingers moved gently over the pup's fur, the way her smile softened even further.

and when she looked up at him, her eyes bright and full of hope, he couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, she was starting to figure him out after all.

mastertag ୨୧ @cosmicalily thank you luvie <3

[lazywitchling]

So here's the thing, right? I keep looking through my own blog going "Hey! Where's the witchy content?" (the-- the 'where's the cream filling' commercials? anyone? no? I'm just old? okay.)

I've made a few posts over the past little while that boil down to "blogging about witchery gets hard once it gets more specific". At some point, my craft got so personalized to me, interacting with my own familiar spirit, building my own astral space and figuring out a whole paradigm there about bridges and astral space and liminal space and imagination... there's just so much that I can't really *share* and have it applicable to anyone else but me, you know? So in a slow-but-steady snowball effect, I've wound up going pretty radio silent over here at lazywitchling dot tumblr dot com. I'm still witching in a way, but it's been a lot more reading and information gathering lately. Less active work and more passive learning.

It's hard to talk about the information gathering process, especially when a lot of that has moved offline. It was easy to share all the things I was learning when I was first starting out, because all the things I was learning came from here. It was easy enough to hit the reblog button, share a post to my blog, and tag it so I could find it again later. As a consequence, other people were able to find content through my blog too. But now I'm spending more time reading books offline, taking notes in a physical notebook, sitting quietly in the dark with my eyes closed having conversations with a spirit consisting of vague impressions and images, waving a pendulum at a dusty old building corner and asking The Thing That's There if it wants to stay or leave.

So what do I do about this radio silence? SHOULD I do anything about it? The other thing is that I've seen so so so many witches over the years of this webbed site just disappear, then come back years later with a lot of fanfare and "I'M BACK, BABY!" and then they just... stop posting again after a month. So something about making the big "I've decided to post more!" announcement just doesn't work. You gotta have reason to start posting more, not just the desire to, yaknow?

What do I talk about, then? Vague updates about the astral space I'm building? Perhaps a few more stories of the conversations with J (my familiar)? More vague updates of me screeching at witch books? (I know y'all love that last one!)

Something. idk what, but something.

Anyway. Hi. I'm Jes. It's short for Jester. How's it going?

[legendary-69420]

☆o( "He Should Slow Down 🥺" — The F1 Driver Group Chat Chronicles )o☆ Genre: Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Lighthearted F1 Fanfic Warnings: none I guess

a/n : This is part 6 of the series (You can also read it without reading any previous part). This is not the part of my story racing hearts but is another AU for my character. Hope you enjoy it. _________________________________________________ (for context Mark has starred in a short film where he has played the part of a menacing psycho killer)

🏎️ Group Chat Name: "I Can't Lose Him 😭😭😭" 🏎️

[10:00 AM]

Lando: OKAY. I’M SAYING IT. THIS IS UNFAIR. Yuki: Nah bc HOW did he do that. Carlos: This man is a menace. Max: “This man has unreal power.” Oscar: I’m watching it again. Lando: SAME. Carlos: SAME. Yuki: 6th rewatch, let’s go. Max: I can’t believe that’s MARK. OUR MARK. Lando: OUR????? Yuki: YOUR?????? Max: I MEANT THAT AS A GROUP THING. Carlos: He’s not YOURS, bro.

[10:10 AM]

Oscar: But nah, let's be real. Oscar: That solo shot of him… Carlos: OH WE SAW. Yuki: 👀 Lando: 🔥🔥🔥 Max: I HAD TO PAUSE. Carlos: THE HAIR FLIP. THE MENACING CHUCKLE. THE LOOK IN HIS EYES. Oscar: Why did he lowkey look like he enjoyed being unhinged. Max: Not “lowkey.” He 100% enjoyed it. Yuki: That shirtless scene?? Nah, that scene changed me. Oscar: The world has been permanently altered. Carlos: THIS MAN TURNED GAY WOMEN STRAIGHT AND STRAIGHT MEN GAY. Max: 📢📢📢 Lando: I just know my For You Page is COOKED for the next 3 months. Yuki: Thirst edits incoming. I can feel it.

[10:15 AM]

Lando: MARK. Mark: What. Yuki: EXPLAIN. Carlos: NAH. DROP THE EXPLANATION RN. Max: HOW DARE YOU. Oscar: HOW LONG DID YOU KEEP THIS A SECRET?? Mark: Y’all acting weird again 💀 Lando: OH WE’RE THE WEIRD ONES??? Yuki: YOU'RE A PSYCHO IN THE FILM AND IN REAL LIFE. Max: THE HAIR FLIP, MARK. THE. HAIR. FLIP. Mark: 😂😂😂 Carlos: I HOPE YOU’RE LAUGHING IN HD CAUSE WE ARE NOT. Yuki: Liar. I’m watching it again.

[10:20 AM]

Charles: … Lando: oh. Carlos: OH. Yuki: he’s here. Max: Look who finally decided to join us. Oscar: What’s up, Charles. Carlos: Charles, did you watch it? Charles: ... Charles: No. Lando: LMAO. LIE AGAIN. Max: BRO’S IN HERE QUIETLY STARING AT HIS SCREEN. Oscar: I bet he’s on the spicy scene rn. Lando: THE SPICY SCENE. I KNOW IT. Carlos: Charles, you need help. Charles: I'M NOT WATCHING IT. Yuki: I CAN HEAR THE SCENE PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. Mark: Charles, you good? Charles: SHUT UP. Mark: ?? Lando: Bro is FUMING 💀💀💀 Oscar: Man is REWATCHING IT RN AND WE KNOW IT.

[10:30 AM]

Max: “Mark you trying to steal my girl?” Carlos: “Mark you trying to steal MY man?” Yuki: Mark, you trying to steal EVERYONE?? Oscar: Stealing hearts like it’s a hobby. Lando: Nah, Mark woke up and chose violence. Charles: Y’all are so ANNOYING. Lando: OH, WE'RE ANNOYING?? Carlos: Bro, you’ve been on the same 20-second scene for an hour. Max: Every time I refresh my feed, IT’S THE SPICY SCENE. Oscar: IT'S EVERYWHERE. Yuki: Every edit is just that one shot. Carlos: We lost him. He’s gone. Mark: Lost who? Lando: Charles. Yuki: Gone forever. Oscar: Charles Leclerc, 1997-2024, cause of death: thirst trap edits. Max: Rest in peace, king. Charles: BLOCK ME. Mark: Bro, what did I even do?? 💀💀💀

🏎️ Race Day — Post-Race Chaos

[3:00 PM]

Yuki: P3 FOR MARK LET’S GOOO Lando: 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Oscar: YOU DID THAT. Max: Look at him. Podium prince. Carlos: Rookie where??? I don’t see one. Lando: BUT WHERE IS HE GOING LMAO. Carlos: BRO JUST FINISHED THE RACE AND SPRINTED AWAY. Yuki: THE MAN DIDN’T EVEN CELEBRATE. Oscar: LITERALLY WENT “GG” AND LEFT. Max: He’s running like the cops are after him. Lando: IM CRYING HE’S TAKING OFF HIS RACE SUIT WHILE WALKING. Yuki: SHIRTLESS MARK RETURNS. Carlos: THE PEOPLE ARE GONNA EAT THIS UP. Max: Nah, bro is smooth with it. Unzipped, tossed his top, and kept moving. Charles: WHERE IS HE GOING. Carlos: TO HIS MOVIE PROMOTION, OBVIOUSLY. Yuki: HE JUST GOT P3 AND NOW HE’S DOING PRESS FOR A MOVIE. Max: "This man never rests." Oscar: "Booked and busy." Lando: MOVIE STAR LIFESTYLE. Carlos: He’s literally switching between “F1 Star” and “Hollywood Star” in 3 minutes. Yuki: Dual threat. Oscar: Name one man smoother than this. Max: I’ll wait. Charles: He should slow down. Lando: AWWWWWWWWWW. Carlos: NAH. Max: THE CONCERN. Yuki: 🥺🥺🥺 Oscar: Let’s frame that. “He should slow down.” Lando: Charles, you’re so soft for him. Charles: SHUT UP.

[3:30 PM]

Mark: What did I miss? Lando: BRO, YOU JUST DID A SPEEDRUN OF "MOST SUCCESSFUL PERSON ALIVE." Carlos: RACE FINISH, MOVIE PROMOTION, AND A THOUSAND THIRST TRAPS. Yuki: Multi-tasking at its finest. Oscar: HOW DO YOU DO IT. Max: Are you secretly five people? Lando: THE SHIRTLESS WALK. THE SMOOTHNESS. THE MOVIE PROMO. WHAT ARE YOU MADE OF. Charles: He should slow down. Mark: What. Lando: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Carlos: GOT HIM. Max: BUSTED. Yuki: "He should slow down" you’re so in love, bro. Mark: 😳 Charles: STOP TALKING.

[4:00 PM]

Carlos: Anyway. Yuki: Anyway. Oscar: Anyways. Max: "He should slow down" will live rent-free in my head forever. Lando: Making it the new chat name, give me a second. 🏎️ Group Chat Name Changed to: "He Should Slow Down 🥺" 🏎️ Charles: I’m leaving this chat. Yuki: You’ll be back. Mark: Always are. Carlos: GOT ‘EM. Oscar: ETERNAL.

______________________________________________________________ (If you want to know more about Mark...you can read it here in my story Racing hearts)

[communicationthroughlyrics]

I Work Too Hard, Can You Fuckin' Pay Me?

Part 9 - Y/N moved to escape some of thier looming troubles from Westview, to the place that their best friend said would make a difference. New job, new digs, will Y/N make a change for the better, or leave another city with their tail between their legs?

A/N: Struggle bus is in town, and decided to make a stop on this one. Here y'all go.

TW: Angst, Intersex reader, reader has some... not so great coping habits, sexual tension, smut

Word Count: 1.7K

Read Pt. 1 HERE Read Pt. 2 HERE Read Pt. 3 HERE Read Pt. 4 HERE Read Pt. 5 HERE Read Pt. 6 HERE Read Pt. 7 HERE Read Pt. 8 HERE

Just Tell It Straight To Me

You awoke to the sound of the rain pattering against the window, the early morning light casting a soft glow across the room. Wanda was still nestled against you, her warmth seeping into your skin. You couldn't remember the last time you felt this content, this... whole. You brushed a lock of hair from her face, marveling at the way she looked in the soft light. Her breathing was even and peaceful, a stark contrast to the turmoil you had felt just hours before.

For a moment, you just watched her sleep, feeling the steady beat of her heart beneath your palm. It was a feeling that was both foreign and familiar, like slipping into a warm bath after a long, cold day. The rain outside seemed to be whispering a gentle melody, echoing the rhythm of your own heart. You didn't want to move, didn't want to break the spell that had been cast over you both.

But eventually, the call of the day grew too strong, and you gently extricated yourself from her embrace, sliding out of bed. You pulled on a t-shirt and pants, the fabric brushing against your still-sensitive skin. The house was quiet, and you padded softly down the hallway, not wanting to disturb her. In the kitchen, you start a pot of coffee, the aroma filling the air. The mundane task felt almost sacred, like a promise of a new beginning.

As you waited for the coffee to brew, your mind drifted back to the night before. The way she had looked at you, the way she had touched you, the way she had whispered reassurances into your ear—it was all still so vivid, so real. You felt a swell of emotion, a mix of happiness and fear. Could you do this? Could you let someone in again? The question lingered in the air, unspoken but ever-present.

When the coffee was ready, you poured two mugs, adding a splash of cream to hers just the way you had observed before. You carried them back to the bedroom, the warmth of the mug a comforting weight in your hand. She stirred as you approached the bed, her eyes opening slowly to meet yours. The smile that spread across her face was like the sun rising over the horizon, chasing away the shadows of doubt.

You handed her the mug, and she took it with a murmur of thanks. The warmth of the liquid seemed to meld with the warmth in her eyes as she took a sip. You sat on the edge of the bed, sipping your coffee, watching the way the rain painted patterns on the window. It was a silent moment of understanding, a quiet acknowledgment of the shift that had occurred between you.

"Thank you," she said finally, her voice still thick with sleep. "For last night."

You took her hand in yours, lacing your fingers through hers. "Thank you for... everything," you replied, your voice equally soft. You chuckled at the memory of last night. "So much for taking it slow."

Wanda sat up, her eyes never leaving yours. "We'll take it as slow as we're comfortable," she promised, her thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand. "We'll face whatever comes together."

You nodded, feeling a weight lift from your chest. "Together," you echoed, the word feeling more right than it ever had before. You knew it wouldn't be easy that there would be challenges and moments of doubt. But with Wanda by your side, you felt ready to face them all.

The rain continued to fall, but it no longer felt oppressive. Instead, it was a gentle reminder that the world outside was moving on, and so were you. You took another sip of coffee, feeling the warmth spread through you, a symbol of the warmth that had been kindled in your heart.

You leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, feeling the promise of the future in that simple gesture. The fear was still there, lurking in the shadows, but it was no longer in control. With Wanda, you had found someone who understood the complexities of your soul, someone who didn't shy away from the messiness of your past.

The rain grew heavier, the sound of it a comforting symphony that surrounded the room. You lay back down beside her, your legs entwined as you sipped your coffee. "What do we do now?" you asked, the question hanging in the air like the mist that clung to the windows.

Wanda took a deep breath, her eyes searching yours. "We take it one day at a time," she said, her voice strong and steady. "We communicate, we support each other, and we don't let fear dictate our decisions."

You nodded, feeling the truth of her words resonate within you. The rain grew louder, a soothing lullaby that seemed to whisper of new beginnings. You set your mug on the nightstand and pulled her closer, feeling the warmth of her body against yours. "I like the sound of that," you murmured.

Her hand found yours, her fingers interlacing with yours. "We'll figure it out," she said, her voice filled with determination. "We're in this together."

The day stretched before you, filled with the promise of rain-soaked walks and lazy Saturday afternoon movies. You knew that outside the walls of Wanda's house, the world was waiting, full of challenges and uncertainties. But in that moment, you didn't care. You had Wanda, and she had you.

You lay there, the rain a soothing backdrop to your quiet conversation, sharing stories and dreams, your hearts beating in sync. The storm outside mirrored the tumult you had weathered within, but here, in the sanctuary of her arms, you felt at peace.

As the rain began to taper off, you both grew restless, the desire to explore the newness of your relationship overwhelming. Wanda leaned over and kissed you, her eyes shining with excitement. "Ready for round two?" she asked, her voice filled with mischief.

You grinned, feeling the heat of her kiss still lingering on your lips. "Always," you said, pulling her back down to you. The world outside could wait. For now, all that mattered was the warmth of her body against yours, the way her breath hitched when you kissed her just right. You tangled your hands in her hair, deepening the kiss, feeling her respond with an enthusiasm that matched your own.

Wanda's fingers trailed down your chest, her nails leaving a trail of fire in their wake. She pushed the t-shirt up, her eyes dark with lust as she took in your bare skin. You shivered, the anticipation making your cock twitch with need. You broke the kiss, looking into her eyes, searching for any sign of doubt. But all you saw was desire, a mirror of your own feelings.

With a growl, you rolled her onto her back, the mood shifting from tender to carnivorous. You kissed down her neck, feeling her pulse race beneath your lips. You nipped at her collarbone, her gasp of pleasure making your cock throb. You kissed across her chest, teasing her nipples before taking one into your mouth. She arched her back, her nails digging into the sheets as you suckled her, feeling her body respond to your every touch.

Her hands found the hem of your pants, pushing them down as you kissed your way down her stomach. You could feel the wetness between her legs, and your mouth watered at the thought of tasting her again. You spread her thighs wider, kissing the inside of her thighs before finally pressing your mouth to her pussy. She tasted even better than you remembered, and you felt your arousal spike as she moaned.

Wanda's legs wrapped around your head, her hips moving in time with your tongue. You licked and sucked, her cries growing louder with every stroke. You could feel her getting closer, the tension in her body tightening like a bowstring. And when she came, it was like a symphony, her body shaking with the force of it. You didn't stop, though, wanting to wring every ounce of pleasure from her.

Her orgasm subsided, leaving her panting and trembling. You kissed your way back up her body, feeling her soft skin against your own. Her eyes were hazy with satisfaction, but there was still a spark of hunger in them. You positioned yourself at her entrance, her eyes never leaving yours. And with one swift movement, you slammed into her, filling her completely.

Her nails dug into your back, her legs wrapping around you tightly as you began to move. The sound of your bodies slapping together filled the room, a rhythm as old as time. You felt the tension build again, her walls tightening around you as she neared her peak. You could feel yourself getting closer, too, the pleasure building to a crescendo.

You leaned down, capturing her mouth with yours as you felt the coil of your orgasm begin to unfurl. Her moans grew louder, her hips rising to meet yours, urging you on. And with one final, desperate thrust, you came, filling her completely. You collapsed on top of her, her body still spasming around you as you both rode out the waves of pleasure.

For a moment, there was only the sound of your panting breaths and the fading pattern of rain outside. You felt her heart beating rapidly against your chest, the thud of it matching your own. You rolled onto your side, pulling her with you so that she was nestled into the crook of your arm.

Her head rested on your chest, and you could feel her breathing slowing as she dozed off. You kissed the top of her head, feeling something inside you shift. This was it—the start of something new, something that could either burn with the

You lay there, stroking her hair gently, feeling the rise and fall of her chest against yours. The rain had stopped, leaving the world outside quiet and still. It was as if the universe had held its breath, waiting for this moment. The weight of your decision, of what you had done, felt heavier than it ever had before. But there was no regret, only a strange mix of excitement and anxiety that filled every fiber of your being.

[fruvittea]

whispers in the rain ✧˚ · . part seven

— ✺ pairing: jay x reader x jake

— ✺ genre: slice of life, angst, suggestive, fluff, childhood best friend, love triangle, college au, slow burn

— ✺ synopsis: jay is your childhood best friend. that’s all he will ever be. a summer with jay and his friends changes how you feel for him when jake comes into your life. and jay begins to think that was a mistake. — ✺ chapter summary: things have been on your mind lately and jungwon and sunoo take things into their own hands taking you out for a good time. the day ends with deep conversations and rekindling.

— ✺ warnings: some of the members are aged up since there is mention of consuming alcohol in this fic!!

— ✺ word count: 3.1k

— ✺ authors note! thank you for your patience, this is the first fic I am writing and it has been so fun, I decided to change things up and include a cute little day where reader spends time with two different people for a change! thank you again for reading!!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | ...

Being in the presence of both Jay and Jake was tiring. So you went inside to take some time to yourself. You’re curled up on the couch, scrolling through your phone, when Sunoo plops down next to you.

“You, me, Jungwon. Ice cream and a thrift shop run and perhaps watching the sunset with your new besties,” he announces, already tugging at your arm.

Jungwon appears in the doorway, arms crossed but smiling softly. “You could use a break. We’ll be your emotional support for the day.”

Break? Have they really noticed that things have been on your mind?

You laugh and agree, the promise of a low-pressure outing too tempting to pass up. 

You laugh and nod. “Okay, okay, I’m in.”

You have yet to hang out with some of the group separately that wasn’t Jay or Jake so this was quite exciting. You always enjoyed Jungwon and Sunoo’s company. As you get up to grab your jacket, Sunoo suddenly turns to you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I’ll go tell Jay that you’re going out with us. He’s been hovering, right?” he adds, almost to himself, though it’s more of a statement than a question.

You blink, a bit caught off guard. “Sunoo, don’t—”

But before you can protest, Sunoo’s already halfway down the hall, heading straight for Jay’s room. You sigh, hoping this won’t turn into a bigger deal than it needs to be. 

A few moments later, Sunoo walks back into the room, Jay trailing behind him, a hesitant expression on his face. You could tell that he might’ve not wanting you to go, for whatever reason. He was being a real downer these days. (And it may or may not have been because of you and Jake hanging out). 

“You’re coming with us, Y/n,” Sunoo announces, voice light as he steps to the side. “We’re heading out for ice cream and a thrift shop run, then maybe a sunset hangout.” He throws a quick look at Jay, who’s still standing in the doorway, his arms crossed.

Jay looks at you, his expression unreadable. “Are you sure you want to go now? You looked like you had a lot on your mind earlier.” 

You  smile, shrugging your shoulders. “I’m good. Just need a little time away. I think it will be nice with Jungwon and Sunoo, my new besties.”

Sunoo, coming to your rescue, steps forward quickly. “It’s fine, Dad. Let her go. It’s just us hanging out, no big deal.” His tone is light but firm, clearly trying to ease the situation before it escalates. You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle. 

“Did you just call me da-” But before the two of your could hear Jay’s response, Sunoo lightly grabs your wrist and begins to pull you towards the door, a knowing smile on his face. “Come on, Y/n. We’ve got a full day of ice cream ahead.”

As you step outside, you hear footsteps behind you. You turn to see Jungwon approaching Jay, who’s still standing in the doorway, his body tense. Jungwon stops beside him, his expression calm but attentive.

“You’re worried,” Jungwon observes softly, glancing back at you and Sunoo, who are now on the way down the stairs. “But you need to let her breathe, Jay.”

Jay runs a hand through his hair, frustration clouding his face. “Well what are you two up to—”

“We just want to spend the day with her.,” Jungwon cuts him off gently, his tone firm but not harsh. “We know you have feelings for her, honestly finally, it’s been years. But c'mon you need to let her breathe. If she likes Jake then she likes him. If she is figuring her feelings out, let her. You’re her best friend, act like it.”  

Jay’s jaw tightens slightly, but he doesn’t argue. Instead, he lowers his gaze, looking conflicted. Had he really been making you feel bad? 

“Just… cool down, alright? Let her have some space,” Jungwon adds, his voice softening as he places a reassuring hand on Jay’s shoulder. “She’ll come to you when she’s ready. But for now, let her have this time to herself.”

Jay doesn’t respond immediately, but his posture shifts slightly, as if Jungwon’s words are beginning to sink in. He watches you for a moment before exhaling, his shoulders slumping a little.

“Yeah,” Jay mutters, almost to himself. “I’ll… I’ll cool down.”

Jungwon gives him a small nod, his smile encouraging, before turning to follow you and Sunoo.

—

“So I saw this cute ice cream place in downtown with really cool flavors. I think we should go there, it’s called Sundae’s.” Jungwon puts the location in his phone and follows the route. You in the passengers seat and Sunoo sitting in the back. To your surprise the car ride with the two was so pleasant, Sunoo just singing along to the music in the back and Jungwon sparking up a casual conversation with you.

“You know I don’t think we’ve hung out before.” Jungwon’s head turned to you briefly before going back to the road. 

“I actually was thinking the same, it’s nice that I’m going out with the two of you.” You play with you fingers a little. 

“Yah, it’ll be fun!” Sunoo chimes in making you smile. 

At the ice cream shop Sunoo insists on ordering first, going for an extravagant and colorful flavor. Jungwon watches with an amused smile before opting for a simple green tea scoop. When it’s your turn, both boys playfully judge your choice—earl gray tea.

“What are you a grandma?” Sunoo judges before taking a spoonful of his ice cream.

“Hey! In fact I like earl gray, it tastes good.” You shrug him off, continuing to eat your scoop.

“It’s a solid pick in my opinion.” Jungwon adds in. 

The three of you sat down on a bench around the corner of the ice cream shop. Jungwon invested in his ice cream and Sunoo trying to pry out facts about you.

“Well what do you want to know?” You turn to him curious about his response.

“Mmm how did you and Jay become friends, because in my opinion I don’t see how you enjoy him.” You let out a laugh using a napkin to wipe the melted ice cream from your fingers. 

“We met in elementary school, he was always teasing me for not being able to color in the lines. I remember looking over at his paper and it was equally as bad. But anyways he would always tease me and I would do it back. We kind of just stuck together even after elementary and middle school. Now that I come to think of it I don’t know how we became friends because of how we started.” You continue to eat your ice creams reminiscing when it was just the two of you.

“That sounds like him…always teasing or nitpicking.” Jungwon lets out an airy laugh. “I mean rooming with him freshman year at the dorms, he would tell me to do my laundry a certain way, I guess he has always been like that huh?” 

"Yeah he has, I think that’s one of the things I like about him though, it’s his odd way of caring I guess.” You don’t look at any of the two boys afraid they’ll see right through you and your feelings. 

—

By the time you three finish ice cream, Jungwon is already inputting the thrift store into his maps. It was a short drive down the street but the three of you insisted on walking in order to walk off the ice cream. 

Sunoo immediately dove into the racks, pulling out the most outrageous outfits he can find and making you and Jungwon model them. At one point, he holds up a neon jacket, declaring it your “new vibe.”

Jungwon shakes his head, picking out a simple but stylish sweater for you instead. “This is more your speed,” he says with a small smile.

“Actually yeah, this for once is something I would wear.” You take the sweater from Jungwon and go to try it on. It was the perfect size, not too baggy and it was a nice creme color. 

Sunoo rolls his eyes but agrees, muttering about Jungwon’s “boring�� taste.

Hours go by and you all go your separate ways in the store, actually taking the act of thrifting seriously You buy the sweater along with a thin green cardigan, Jungwon buys a leather jacket and Sunoo also finds a couple sweaters to purchase as well. The three of you proudly talk about the luck you had in the shop. 

—

As the three of you walk back to the car you hear your stomach growl. Before you could even open your mouth to tell them you were hungry Jungwon put a place into his phone. “Don’t worry, I was also getting hungry in the store, tacos sound good?” You and Sunoo agree and Jungwon starts the car heading to the spot. 

It was a nice little area, some chairs and tables set up with people eating in a parking lot with a taco truck up front. You all ordered takeout because Sunoo wanted to go to a  nearby park that had a pretty view of the ocean. Sitting atop a picnic blanket you three eat your tacos raving about how good they were.

Sunoo marvels at the ocean while Jungwon uses the left over napkins to make paper cranes.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” you ask, watching him with fascination.

He shrugs. “My sister taught me. It’s calming.”

Sunoo leans in with a smirk. “It’s also his way of avoiding deep conversations.”

Jungwon glares at him, but there’s no malice in it. “Says the guy who changes the subject every time someone asks about his love life.”

Their playful banter makes you smile, and for the first time in days, you feel a genuine lightness in your chest.

The day winds down with the three of you still at the park watching as the sun begins to set. Sunoo talks about his dreams and aspirations, his usual humor tinged with rare sincerity. Jungwon listens intently, occasionally offering quiet words of encouragement.

At some point, Sunoo excuses himself to “explore the area,” leaving you and Jungwon alone.

The silence is comfortable, filled with the sound of rustling leaves and distant laughter.

“You seemed happier today,” Jungwon says after a while, glancing at you.

You nod. “Thanks to you and Sunoo. I didn’t realize how much I needed this.”

He smiles softly, his eyes warm. “You’ve grown to become important to us. Don’t forget that.”

The sun dips below the horizon, casting long shadows as you, Jungwon, and Sunoo sit on the grassy hill, watching the colors of the sky change. Sunoo has his legs stretched out, lazily reclining against a tree, while Jungwon is next to you, eyes focused on the distant view. There’s a comfortable silence between the three of you, but it feels like there’s something unspoken hovering in the air.

After a few minutes, Jungwon clears his throat, glancing at Sunoo before turning his attention to you.

“Hey, y/n,” he starts, his voice casual but there’s a hint of curiosity underneath. “Can we ask you something?”

You turn your head slightly, meeting his eyes. “Sure, what’s up?”

Sunoo, who's been unusually quiet, perks up, looking at you with a sly smile. “Have you noticed any… tension between Jay and Jake recently?”

You freeze for a moment, the question slightly catching you off guard. You had a feeling the two would ask, afterall they are Jay and Jake’s friends. Plus t he tension between the two had been palpable lately, and though you’ve tried to ignore it, it’s impossible not to feel the weight of it when you’re around them. You glance down at your hands, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your sweater.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” you admit, sighing softly. “It’s a little hard to ignore.”

Jungwon watches you carefully. “Do you think it’s something serious? Or just a misunderstanding?”

You pause, trying to sort out your own feelings before speaking. “I’m not sure,” you murmur. “But I think it’s about more than just little things. I’ve never seen them like this before.”

There’s a heavy silence that falls over you, and you know both of them are watching you intently, waiting for you to continue. Sunoo leans forward, his usual playful demeanor replaced with a serious, almost concerned expression.

“Can we ask you something else?” Sunoo asks. 

“Yeah go ahead.” You nod.

“Do you…have feelings for Jay? Or did you ever have feelings for him?” His tone was soft almost hesitant as if he was debating on asking you about Jay.

You feel your heart race, a flush creeping up your neck. Jungwon, who’s always been quiet and thoughtful, looks at you with gentle curiosity, giving you the space to respond. But you can tell they’re both waiting for an honest answer.

You swallow hard, feeling the weight of the question settle in your chest. “I… yeah, I guess I always did,” you admit, the words coming out in a whisper. “Jay’s been my best friend for so long. I think I had a crush on him pretty much my whole life.”

The confession hangs in the air, and Sunoo’s eyes widen for a moment, before he offers a knowing, if somewhat sympathetic, smile. “That makes sense. It’s obvious how close you two are. But…?”

You glance down, unable to meet their eyes. “But I think it’s fading,” you whisper. “The crush, I mean.” You pause, your fingers tugging at the edges of your sweater, unsure of how to continue. “It’s hard to admit, but… I feel like something’s different now. I don’t know if I’m holding on to something that’s not really there anymore.”

Jungwon shifts slightly, leaning forward to look at you with a softer gaze. “It’s okay to feel that way. You’re not wrong for letting go of something that doesn’t feel right anymore.”

You nod, taking a deep breath, but the guilt creeps in. You feel like you're betraying something, or someone. "But I also don’t want to let go,” you admit, the words tumbling out. “I feel guilty about it, but when I’m with Jake, I don’t feel that way. He makes me feel good. He makes me laugh, and he listens to me. He’s different, and... I enjoy spending time with him. And with Jay too."

You trail off, unsure of what else to say. The emotions feel tangled, and you’re still processing everything that’s happening between you, Jay, and Jake. But you could tell the two boys on either side of you were listening intently, figuring out what to sway next. Sure it admitting these thoughts and feelings you’ve been having was not what you were expecting to do today, it was still nice to be able to release the weight and let somebody in. 

Sunoo’s voice breaks through the whirlwind of your thoughts. “It’s okay to like both of them. You’re not doing anything wrong by being honest with yourself,” he says, his tone calm but supportive. “Feelings don’t follow a strict path. It’s complicated, but that’s life.”

Jungwon, who’s been quietly listening, nods in agreement. “And whatever you decide to do, we’re here for you. It’s okay to take your time and figure out what you want. No one’s rushing you.”

Jake and Jay are, you want to say but refrain. Could the tension really be because of you? You finally look at them both, their expressions soft and understanding. For the first time today, you feel like you can breathe, knowing that someone—two people—are there to support you no matter what. You smile weakly, grateful for their patience.

“Thanks, guys,” you say, your voice full of sincerity. “It means a lot.”

The three of you sit in silence again, but this time, it’s comforting. There are no expectations, no pressure to figure things out immediately. Just the quiet support of friends who understand that life—and love—aren’t always as simple as they seem.

As the night continues the three of you decide to make your way back to the house. 

-

Opening the door to your room you place your bag from the thrift store onto the ground. Laundry can wait. Tomorrow I’ll do laundry, maybe Jay will end up taking over. You lay down on your bed and scroll through your phone until you hear a faint knock on the door. 

“Can I come in?” 

“Yeah.” 

The door opens and Jay appears. He was in his pajamas, his hair messy. You look at him and you couldn’t help but feel your heartbeat a little faster. He closes the door and sits at the edge of your bed. You were sitting against the headboard watching his every move. 

“How was your day out with Jungwon and Sunoo?” He asked.

“I actually had a really good time, I haven’t hung out with the two of them before and I really enjoyed it. They are really good friends Jay, I’m glad you found them in college.” Jay can’t help but smile. You always had something nice to say and that was something he really appreciated about you, something he really liked about you. 

“I’m sorry for seeming like a dad…Is it bad that I sometimes just want you to myself?” He paused, realizing what he said. “Li-like you know because we were friends first.” He let out a nervous laugh scratching the back of his neck. Shit. 

You play with the sheets, unsure of what to say, but if you don’t say anything it’ll be even more awkward. 

“I’ve felt that way too Jay, it’s okay, but hey I mean we’re getting older, things like this do happen.” You give him a smile. It is true you have definitely felt that way, especially when with his girl friends in high school. But of course you left that small detail out. 

“Yeah…” Jay’s eyes focus on the sheets of the bed. He didn’t want to leave just yet. Neither did you want him to, but you both didn’t say anything. Instead you both kept the conversation going little by little. You showed him your thrift haul and he told you about the book that he was  able to start that day. It was nice, like the two of you were back in routine again. 

You and Jay both ended up falling asleep on your bed, him curled up by the foot of your bed, you under the sheets diagonally across. 

✴︎🪷𓈒͏ུུ̑̑. ཉ — by @fruvittea

🏷️ tag list: @kyunlov @kawaiijellyfishtimetravelr

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[bring-forth-his-sac]

The Christmas Party - Chapter 3

Summary: Now that you have a party to plan, you decide to start with the decorations... but Negan has a more exciting idea in mind.

Word Count: 5.2k

Tags: Modern AU, Teacher AU, Swearing, Pet Names, Slow Burn, Negan being an asshole, reader being an asshole too ?

previous chapter can be found here

After your vow to stay resolute in your (accidental) decision to help with the Christmas party, you vanished on Negan. He half-expected you to ambush him first thing the next morning but nothing came.  

In a perfect world, you would have gone home that day, realized your pettiness and followed Negan’s original advice. You would have humbled yourself and gone straight to Gregory, petitioning for this pain in the ass party to be called off.

“Carl! That funky eye of yours doesn’t mean your legs don’t work!” Negan shouts at one of the students in his afternoon class “Run for the ball, damn it! Quit standing on the sidelines!”.

The whistle around Negan’s neck swings as he struts along the side of the basketball court, muttering to himself. Despite the chill in the air, it’s sunny outside and so they’re not all stuck inside the sports hall, where Negan would’ve been trapped in the thick air of sweaty, hormonal teens. 

But that’s not the only reason he’s glad to be outside on the courts. After Negan’s plan backfired and filled you with spiteful devotion to the Christmas party, he can’t bear to be in the sports hall, knowing it’s only a matter of time before his colleagues wreck havoc on his little slice of heaven.

A polite cough behind him pulls him out of his thoughts. Negan is about to grumble to some kid to cover their mouth but when he glances behind, he sees you instead. 

“Fan- fucking -tastic,” Negan says drily “my day has just got ten times better”.

The sight of a notebook pressed against your chest makes him want to groan. Hoping for some kind of a miracle, he asks “You get the party cancelled yet?”.

You join him by the sidelines, smiling mischievously. “Nope,” you reply cheerfully “I think I’d rather torture you by making you help organize it instead”. 

Negan scoffs, looking back at the game. You take it as your que to continue. Looking down at your notebook you read the small list you’ve made of the different categories you’ll both have to tackle. 

Food. Drink. Music. Decorations.

You read your small list out loud before thinking “Is there anything else a party needs? I guess we could have some kinda entertainment, right?”.

With a long exhale, Negan rubs his forehead “You want a bunch of middle aged teachers to play party games?”. 

You shrug “Well, I don’t know how else to keep them entertained…”

“Booze. That’s all you need, not charades or pin the tail on the donkey”.

You write that down, encircling the drinks category before continuing “Well, I’m free for the rest of the day so whenever you want to—“.

“Christ, Patrick! Follow through on your shot!” Negan interrupts, yelling at another poor kid “better fix that limp wrist for your sake!”.

You blink at the… uh… advice, if you could call it that. 

Negan begins making his way down the side of the court, following the action surrounding the basketball as he shouts more words of wisdom. You watch with a mix of curiosity and disbelief, suddenly feeling more confident in your own, calmer teaching style.  

When Negan finally turns his attention back to you, he raises an eyebrow, his tone turning sarcastic again.

"Class ends in about ten minutes. How about we talk afterwards, so you're not following me around like a damn shadow?" he sighs, checking his watch.

Before you can retort your own thinly veiled insult, he’s off shouting at the kids again, this time clapping his arms to really amp them up.

You shake your head, grip tightening on your notebook as you turn on your heels to leave. Your plan was to just wait in his office but once you get to the door, your eyes are drawn to the adjacent double doors of the sports hall. 

If this is where you’ll be having the party, you may as well get a lay of the land now. 

Creeping inside the barren hall, it’s the quietest you’ve ever seen it. The large room is almost eerie without the clatter of basketballs or the sounds of kids shouting. You pause in the doorway, taking in the empty space. Soon, it’ll be filled with noise— this time, for the Christmas party you’ve roped yourself into.

Walking deeper into the room, you wonder how much convincing it’ll take to get Negan up on a ladder to hang tinsel and string lights across the high ceiling. The hall is desperate for some holiday ambience and your brain aches as you try to figure out just how much tinsel will be needed.

Thankfully, your phone buzzes with a welcome distraction. 

Carol: You want to be a good samaritan and help me bake some cookies after school? Need them for the bake sale 

You: Have my hands full planning party 

You: but I could be tempted if I get to taste test some :D

After you informed everyone that you will be planning the party (and to hold off on the barrage of questions), Carol was the only one who didn’t give you a pitiful look when you mentioned it being you and Negan organizing it.

“Negan’s… complicated,” she told you this morning. Surprisingly, that was the most polite description of him you’ve heard.

“Just keep your distance, keep your head down and do the work” Carol listed “he’ll complain a lot but he will get the job done. Eventually”.

Given how much people seem to dislike him, hearing a neutral take felt like a welcome shift.

Carol: you’re starting to sound like my students

You let out a soft laugh before quickly typing a reply, letting her know you’re not sure if you’ll be finished with Negan by then. As much as you hate to admit it, you know how easily you two can fall into a back-and-forth, letting the time slip away without even realizing it.

Carol replies with a thumbs up, and to kill some time, you check the group chat. It’s been a while since you’ve looked at the new messages.

You don’t blame yourself though, not when it’s where you got yourself into this mess. It’s like returning to the scene of a crime but this time you know better than to hurriedly send in a text.

Gregory: WHO GOT THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS INSTALLATION VAN CLAMPED

Gregory: HOW? WHY?????

Sasha: I told you they shouldn’t park in designated spaces 

Rosita: they had their warning

Gregory: they want to school to pay the fee

Sasha: better than slashed tires

Gregory: go to principal Grime’s office , this needs to be sorted now

Rosita: I’m in the middle of teaching a class ??

Gregory: and you’re busy texting?!?!?!?

Gregory: both of you. Principal Grime’s office. NOW

A chuckle from behind makes you shiver and jerk away, hot breath fanning against the side of your neck. Negan peers over at your phone, having read the messages.

“I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation” he snorts, offering you a smirk as you tuck your phone away “can’t say I blame Rosita though, Gregory’s definitely the type of asshat that let them park there”.

“Yeah and you wanted me to talk to that asshat about getting this party cancelled” you grumble, irritation creeping into your tone

“In the past, sweetness,” Negan smiles just to annoy you “now we’re a team, ain’t we?”.

“In the past?! Negan, that was yesterday!” you point out exasperatedly, wandering around the hall to burn off some of your already pent up energy.

“And yesterday is in the past”.

You shoot him a glare but all that achieves is a wider grin looking back at you. Damn him. You run a hand down your face, forcing yourself to stop— both physically and mentally.

Negan’s trying to get you to bite, to start bickering with him so you’ll lose focus on the party and storm off. You close your eyes for a moment, trying to gather yourself. Unfortunately, when you open them again he still has that cocky smile on his face that makes you want to throttle him.

“Do you have any decorations from the previous years?” Your tone is sharper than necessary but that’s what he gets when he’s being a jerk.

“Usually, they’d host this shit at a fancy little place called the Kingdom, so we don’t have much” he replies, his demeanor easing now that you haven’t taken the bait.

“Really?” you question, expecting at least a worn down Christmas tree “What about things for a nativity or Christmas carols?”.

“Yeah cause nothing screams party like having the fuckin’ nativity scene laid out in the middle of the room” Negan teases, fishing keys out of the back pocket of his sweatpants.

You scoff, rolling your eyes as you match his sarcasm with a dose of your own “Well, no, I’m not suggesting we all get drunk in front of baby Jesus”.

Negan lets out a small chuckle, but it sounds unfamiliar. This isn’t the mischievous laugh you heard when he tried to set you up, nor is it the smirk he gave you when you were badmouthing him.

No, this is something else. It’s a rare, genuine sound– a laugh that seems to catch even him off guard. And strangely enough, it’s aimed at you. You try not to linger on it, not wanting to make things awkward.

“If you wanna have a look yourself, knock yourself out” Negan strides over to the small storage room door and you follow behind as he unlocks it.

You stand there, waiting for him to open it but he doesn’t. Instead, Negan pauses for a moment, then he turns to face you with that familiar, smug grin.

“Enjoying the view?” he teases, letting the question hang in the air.

“I— ugh! Negan!” you scold, stepping forward and pushing the door open yourself. Negan doesn’t stop you, even flicking the light on as you go first. 

“Careful, sweetheart,” Negan says, grabbing one of the boxes to prop the door open. “This shit’s old... probably as old as me, so the door’s heavy and a real bastard to yank open from the inside”.

Inside, you’re met with a chaotic mess; boxes piled on top of boxes, cones and rackets scattered across the floor, and a jumble of balls stacked on a rack against the wall.

Technically, the room is large but with all the clutter, there’s barely enough space to move around. Inching your way across a small clearing, you almost wedge yourself between two tall stacks of boxes. “Any idea which ones might have the festive goods?” you ask. 

“Pretty sure it’s the two at the back,” Negan trails after you, clearly uninterested “y’can usually see a bit of tinsel shimmering through the box”.

“This is a good start… I guess,” you try to take an optimistic approach “at least there’s something here”.

You carefully navigate through the maze of clutter, sidestepping loose javelins and dodging stray tennis balls. The mess makes every step feel like a mini obstacle course.

As you finally reach the last stack, you tug the lid off the nearest box, the dust tickling your nose. Peering inside, you slowly begin to sift through its contents—a jumble of tinsel, some baubles that have no string and a few random holiday knickknacks.

Negan leans against the next stack of boxes, arms crossed, watching you with mild amusement.

“Oh wow, you’re just going straight for it, huh?” he commentates, unbothered to help “it’s like you’re on a treasure hunt… y’know if you want to find the real treasure, you’re in luck”.

You don’t bite, not believing his bullshit. Even with no response, Negan continues “I know exactly where to find the crown jewels”. He gives you a wink but you miss it, keeping your head down as you rummage.

”… hellllllloooooo?” he pokes your side.

You pull out a handful of mismatched ornaments and toss them at him. “Maybe you should stop doing nothing and actually help?” you suggest as he barely manages to catch them.

With an exaggerated sigh, Negan starts to search the second box. “I was doing something,” he protests, carelessly looking through the box “flirting, if you didn’t notice”.

“Yeah, well if that’s your idea of flirting, I pray I’m not your type” you jeer.

This time, Negan doesn’t reply. You wonder if he’s taking a page out of your book and ignoring you but then you feel his eyes land on you. 

Readying your disapproving look, you turn to meet Negan’s gaze. “What?” you ask, already annoyed by whatever shenanigan he’s about to pull. 

With the ghost of a smirk, Negan simply stares at you for a moment. He doesn’t let his eyes wander like how you expected, the action something you thought he’d do just to get a rise out of you. Wetting his lips, Negan teasingly pulls his hand out of the box, bringing with it a tattered piece of mistletoe. 

“Guess there’s only one way to find out if you’re my type” he shakes the mistletoe, accidentally making one of the plastic leaves fall off.

“Oh fuck off” you don’t stop the words coming out of your mouth, turning on your heels to leave.

Flinging the mistletoe back into the box, Negan follows. You’re half tempted to kick the box that’s keeping the door open just to lock him in, but his long strides allow him to catch up with you in no time. 

“Awh, c’mon,” he teases “are you always in ‘teacher mode’ ?”.

“Only when I’m around immature people”.

“Very funny,” Negan comments as you storm back out to the empty hall. He can tell he’s almost got you; you’re so close to walking out, yet you won’t give him the satisfaction.

Negan knows how to push people’s buttons— it's one of his favorite hobbies. He enjoys testing how much people will tolerate, seeing what it takes to crack them. For some, a single remark is enough to make them fold, while others can take a whole barrage, letting it build up bit by bit. 

The most frustrating thing about you is that you can take a lot, all while throwing your own taunts right back at him. You rub your forehead, trying to will yourself into not punching him.

“You got any classes left today?” he breaks the silence, his tone surprisingly conversational considering the amount of teasing he’s been doing. 

Every question feels like a set up for some next lewd joke or suggestion and so you simply nod your head. 

“Perfect,” he says, locking up the storage room and tossing the keys up into the air before catching them “let’s go grab some new decorations”.

You raise an eyebrow, curious, but Negan doesn’t wait around. As he strolls out of the hall, you have to quicken your pace to keep up with him.

“What do you mean?” you ask.

He glances over his shoulder, speaking to you as if you’re a three year old. “we go shop, buy new decorations, you happy, party less shit looking”.

“But don’t you have classes?” you badger him, watching as Negan makes a quick stop by his office. He drops the keys onto his desk, grabs his coat, and snatches up his car keys.

“Yeah, but Mark can cover for me,” he replies casually, clearly unfazed “it’s the bastard’s last day before his vacation, he can do some extra work”.

The last thing you expected was for Negan to suggest going on a quick trip together, especially with how little you two can tolerate each other. Negan lets out a short laugh when he sees your wary expression, clearly unconcerned. 

“He’ll figure it out,” he says nonchalantly, pulling out his phone to shoot a quick text to the other coach “it’ll be fine as long as he doesn’t give Fat Joey my class, don’t trust that fucker to teach gym”.

“Negan!” you slap his arm “Rude”.

He shrugs. 

The two of you walk out of the school and head toward the teacher’s parking lot. As you look around, a wave of hesitation hits you.

Even though you don’t have any more classes to teach today, you can’t shake the feeling that leaving early feels like you’re playing hooky.

Negan notices in an instant. With a small chuckle, he places both hands on your shoulders and gives you a gentle nudge forward.

“C’mon, Ms. Goody Two Shoes,” he teases, steering you toward his pick up truck “we won’t be gone long”.

You hesitate for a moment, still unsure. “Are you sure?” you try to look up at him as he directs you toward the passenger side “I don’t mind driving myself and meeting you there”.

“No need. I’ve got it covered,” he replies, taking his hands off you to open the door. With the automatic roll of your eyes, you get in.

The car ride to the store is a mix of awkward tension and playful banter. As Negan drives, he leans back in his seat with an easy confidence. Every now and then, he throws in a flirtatious comment but for the most part, he keeps it PG.

Surprisingly, Negan actually asked about you and why you’d move to “such a backend fuckin’ town”. You grabbed the opportunity to not argue or get flirted with and instead babbled on about why you needed a break away from your hometown (making sure to skip all the family rifts and drama). 

Pulling into the Target parking lot, the familiar smirk of the Negan you know resurfaces.

"I can always make time to give ya a real tour of the town," he says, and for a brief moment, you almost believe he's being sincere—until he adds, "With or without the extra stop at mine afterwards."

You let out an exaggerated sigh as he parks, shaking your head. "You're like a comedian that only knows one joke and no matter how many times it falls flat, you just keep saying it anyways".

Negan’s eyebrows bounce up as his truck comes to a stop, his tone dripping with cockiness “Oh it works real well, 99.9% success rate”.

“Wow, you’re just like bleach” you shoot back as you unbuckle your seatbelt.

Getting out of the truck and heading into the store, he proudly replies “All I have to say is I have been told I’m killer in the bedroom, so maybe I am like bleach”.

Shaking your head, you opt for a small basket instead of dragging around a massive cart. The last thing you need is Negan laughing as you struggle to control one of those things. 

“Do you have an off switch?” You taunt. 

Taking the basket off you, Negan’s fingers brush yours. He takes full advantage, tilting to the side so his tall frame is closer to your eye level.

Lowering his voice to what you can only assume is what he uses in the bedroom, he seductively growls “Wanna try to find it?”.

The look you give him says everything, and with a sharp ‘hmph ,’ you head toward the holiday section, letting him trail behind.

As you pass the Christmas trees, you glance at them, already knowing you’ll need to check your budget before committing to one for the party. This trip feels more like a reconnaissance mission—just picking up a few affordable things if you find them while scouting what else they have to offer.

Meanwhile, Negan simply drifts by, clearly bored now that the playful banter has faded. He’s like a kid that’s been dragged into grocery shopping with his mom—picking up random items and staring at the ceiling, hoping for some kind of entertainment. 

Negan would’ve spent his time staring at your ass but he knows better than to risk it. You’d throw a nutcracker at him if you caught him perving on you.

“ Neeeeeeegan ?” You drag out his name, watching the man completely zone out.

As much as you want to give him a piece of your mind, you can’t say you’re surprised. You both knew this was going to be a pain.

The only reason you’re party planning is out of spite, while Negan’s just here because he doesn’t want his sports hall to be trashed by either terrible decorations or the teachers on the night.  

Shaking the wreath in your hands, the bells jingle and you call out again “Negan? Hello?”.

Looking back to you, his expression softens just enough to pass as a real smile rather than a smirk. “I heard you the first time, I just like hearing you say my name,” he says, his tone playful.

You scoff, fighting the urge to smile. Unfortunately, you’re human so when a handsome man throws you a compliment, it’s impossible not to react, no matter how much of a pain in the ass he can be.

… handsome ?

You quickly shove that thought aside, irritated that your brain so easily confessed that. He is handsome, but… he’s Negan. An asshole, in other words.  

Alright, time to stop thinking about that.

“I, uh…” you swallow, trying to get your thoughts in order “The wreath! If we drape a tablecloth over the desks and put one of these in front of each, that’ll look nice, right?”

Negan gives a casual nod, eyes shifting between the wreath and the rows of holiday decorations.

“I mean, the desks are just for finger food and drinks anyways but… it’ll be festive!” you find yourself rambling, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. 

He scoffs at how you try to justify spending some money a on wreath, taking a few steps toward the sales section.

“How about…” Negan starts, picking up a small pumpkin statue priced at just a dollar, “…we buy a bunch of these and throw a Christmas hat on ‘em?”

You pause, unsure whether you should dignify that with a response.

“You want to use Halloween decorations?” you drop the wreath into the basket, rubbing a hand over your face in disbelief.

“I’m getting it” he puts the pumpkin next to your wreath.

You look down at the pumpkin and purse your lips. As if this party hasn’t been doomed from the get go, you don’t think having pumpkins there will help. You don’t have to voice your concerns, Negan can read your face. 

“Hey, I’m just offering a little direction,” he says, wandering down the aisle “someone’s gotta take charge when you’re doubting whether you should buy wreaths for a Christmas party”.

A flutter of defensiveness stirs within you, a shift in your chest that spreads like a warm yet  uncomfortable pressure.

Picking up a box of lights, you drop them in the basket “I’m not doubting, I just don’t want to buy junk that we won’t use”.

Negan stops, ignoring what you just said as he picks up some balloons. “We should get these… just gotta make sure this side is at the back” he lifts up the packet, showing you the gigantic ‘Happy 60th Birthday’ printing on the front of each balloon. 

“You’re kidding,” plucking the pack out of his hands, you put it back on the shelf “and I don’t need you to take charge of this, especially when you’re doing such a half assed job”. 

Negan scoffs “Am not”.

The more you try to ignore the building in your chest, the more it festers, growing into a quiet but insistent urge to clarify, to defend and correct the narrative.

“That’s all you do! You want to be in charge but you’re not thorough enough whenever you are” you explain as calmly as you can. 

There was a small bit of you that hoped Negan would listen to what you’re saying but he’s not interested in the feedback, waving his free hand dismissively as he walks back up the aisle.

“It’s easier when I’m in charge because I get shit done, I don’t try to reason with myself why I need to buy something– I just do it,” as if to prove the point, he puts another pumpkin into the basket.

It's like he’s not even trying to understand your point, and that’s a realization that makes your patience unravel.

The calm concern starts to fade and is replaced by a barely contained annoyance. 

“But you don’t try to make things easier for others, you literally just left Mark to deal with the rest of your classes for the day and complained at the idea of Mark letting Joey help! You’re always pushing your own agenda and railroading people into going along with it” taking a firm stance against him, you do the unthinkable. 

You reach your hand into the basket.

And remove a pumpkin.

Negan gives you a pointed look, boring into your skull and not even watching your hand place the pumpkin back on the shelf.

“Sweetheart, calm down, this isn’t a military operation,” he asserts “we’re just planning a damn party so lighten up. Get festive!”.

It’s maddening. Now you’re making a mountain out of a molehill? You should just lighten up because it’s a Christmas party and nothing more?

His dismissive tone is like a constant poke to your patience, stretching it thinner with every passing moment.  To make matters worse, Negan carries on like usual, wandering over to the next aisle.

Begrudgingly, you totter after him.

“You can’t just do that!” you snap, absentmindedly perusing the scented candles “you can’t act like this is something silly when I’m giving you valid criticism! I’m trying to put in effort here and actually make this party bearable”. 

It hits all at once, a rush of raw emotion that floods your mind and spills out before you can stop it.

Your voice shakes, not from fear, but from the overwhelming need to be heard. You don’t even have time to think, to carefully choose your words; it all comes out, unfiltered.

Every bit of irritation, confusion, and disbelief tumbling out in one breathless rant.  

“All you want to do is skip school, wander around here, flirt with me– even though I keep rejecting you! And just buy stupid shit that we don’t need for this party!” you rant, gesturing to the lonely pumpkin still in the basket.

“You have to respect other people’s time and their effort too. Not everyone wants to half-ass this! You get your own way all the time and no one will say no to you or make you do it their way. It’s Negan’s way or no way. And people are so used to letting you get away with shit again and again just because—“.

You stop yourself.

Your mouth clamps shut, stopping your cathartic rant before it can say anymore but it’s too late. Negan stands next to you, waiting.

Shit.

“… I like the cinnamon one,” you say quietly, trying to change the subject as you sniff the candles  “sometimes, I think they make the gingerbread ones too strong and the ones that are supposed to smell like vanilla never do”.

Negan doesn’t budge. A small smirk creeps up on his face. Negan already knows what you were going to say, he doesn’t need anyone to tell him.

He’s attractive, good in the sac, can charm the legs off anyone within a ten mile radius and happens to have one swoon worthy smile.

He gets away with this because he’s sexy. Nothing he can do about that, it’s natural!

“Go on,” he implores, tongue peeking out as he wets his bottom lip “say it with your chest, doll”.

You want to stay quiet. You know for the interest of everyone, you should. 

“People let you be an asshole because your wife died”.

You’ve never seen a change in someone so quick. His face darkens, veins pulsing at his temples as his jaw clenches so tight that his teeth almost grind together.

Negan’s eyes narrow into a hard, unforgiving stare. Every muscle in his body seems to coil, as if ready to snap. 

“Are you fucking shitting me?” he grunts. 

You’ve never seen him like this— not even when you’ve bickered with him. This is something different, something deeper.

His entire demeanor has shifted, like a switch was flipped, and all the previous irritation and taunting have been replaced by a quiet, seething fury that radiates from him in waves.

Your fingers curl around the candle but you barely register the sensation. Your eyes lock on him, wide and unblinking. He told you to say it, to be honest with him. 

Every muscle in your body feels frozen, as if something inside you has short-circuited. You’ve always thought you’d know what you’d do in a moment like this, whether you’d be a flight or fight type of person. But now, facing a full wave of intimidation, you realize the truth: you’re not the fight type. You’re not the flight type. 

You’re the freeze type.

It’s as if the air around you has thickened, the space between you and him narrowing to a suffocating stillness. You want to stutter out an apology but it’s all happened so suddenly that you forget how to. 

It feels like all you can do is stand there, rooted to the spot. In an instant, he snaps out of his silent rage and rushes into action. 

Without warning, Negan lets go of the shopping basket, letting it drop to the ground with a violent clatter. The sound cuts through the air like a gunshot and you jump.

His hands are still clenched into fists as he takes a step back and his eyes flash one last time at you with an unreadable mix of frustration and something deeper.  And then, he spins on his heel and storms off.

“Fuck this,” you hear muttered under his breath as he goes. 

You’re left standing there, the abruptness of it all taking the air from your lungs. Your legs take jittery steps forward before you meekly grab the basket and try to follow. 

With only a pumpkin, some lights and a wreath inside, the basket somehow pulls at your arms, as if you’re carrying a thousand things. Trying to follow, the basket swings awkwardly in your grasp, banging against your shins with each uncoordinated step.

“Negan?” You call out, your voice sounding smaller than you mean it to. Your gaze darts nervously from aisle to aisle and across the registers until you spot a tall and imposing shadow going out the main doors.

“No, no, no, no, no,” your heart thuds painfully against your chest, each beat louder than the last.

You set the basket down gently, almost afraid it might shatter if you move too quickly, before rushing out of the store. The cool air hits your skin, but it’s no relief. This can’t be happening. He can’t just leave you here. Not like this.

You move fast, almost stumbling, your eyes scanning the parking lot frantically. Cars of every make and model line the pavement, but there’s no sign of his truck.

A pang of panic rises in your throat as you take a few more steps, searching the sea of vehicles, your stomach tightening with every second that passes. His truck should be here. It should’ve been parked right where you left it.

The realization hits you like a wave. It’s not here.

A soft whine escapes your lips, barely a sound and yet it carries the weight of everything that’s suffocating you in that moment. Confusion. Anxiety. Guilt. And an overwhelming sense of abandonment. You stand frozen, the noise of the parking lot fading as the panic surges again. 

He’s gone.

-------

gif made from scenepack provided by harleys.scenes on insta <3

[lunaroseblake]

Adrenaline - Chapter 9 'Relief'

Summary: Zayne is trying to cope and you're finally awake.

I hope you've all got your tissues ready for this one!

It had been two days since your operation, well technically three if you counted today but it had been the longest few days that Zayne had ever known. He hadn’t gone home just incase something happened to you, thinking that at least if he was at the hospital then he could help if the need came about. He’d slept in his office, though what little sleep he did manage to get was plagued with nightmares causing slight dark circles to form beneath his eyes. The staff areas were equipped with showers at least and he did have a couple changes of clothes in his office for incidents such as this one, plus the cafeteria did offer a range of decent meals, so he didn’t really see the point of going home for now, only wanting to stay by your side and make sure that you were safe.

When your friends had visited however, he had stepped aside and left them their own privacy with you, also apologising to Rafayel and Xavier for how he’d been after your surgery and formally introducing himself, even if they already knew who he was. They’d taken it all in stride, deciding to not hold anything against him as they could only imagine what he’d been through whilst operating on you. Every visitor that had come had brought you get well gifts and flowers, Rafayels bouquet being the most extravagant of them all but as they weren’t allowed in the ICU, Zayne had placed them all in his office and tended to them until they would be able to go with you in to your own room when you were moved out of intensive care.

You’d been kept fully sedated for the first day to allow your body to come to terms with all of the trauma it had sustained before staff began to lower the dosages, leaving you on the painkillers and letting your body decide when it was going to wake you up, all under the watchful eye of Zayne. He’d fully expected you to stay on the ventilator for a few more days but you continued to exceed his expectations when earlier that morning it was deemed your lungs were working well enough for you to try and breathe on your own. He’d been with you when it happened and you would need to be closely monitored but as he had no plans whatsoever for the rest of the day he was more than happy to sit by your side as he took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. Your skin still felt a little cooler than normal but it was to be expected since as you weren’t moving around “I’m here.” He said softly, giving your vitals a quick check over and listening to the sound of your slow but steady breaths.

Heeding Greysons advice he had decided to take some time off, taking a step away from doing any surgery as he knew he wasn’t in the best frame of mind for that and wouldn’t be for a little while. He still did some paperwork and answered emails however, but the more hands on side he left down to Greyson, needing some time to properly process what he’d been through. Getting himself more comfortable he placed a book on to his lap with his hand that wasn’t holding yours and flicked through the pages until he got to his marker. He only managed to read a few pages before a notification dinged on his phone, a reminder. With everything that had happened, he had completely forgotten that he’d managed to get a booking for a restaurant you’d been dying to go to, the wait time for a free space being over a month. He was going to surprise you with it, a nice romantic candlelit dinner which may or may not lead to more afterwards.

He gave a light sigh as he closed his book, turning to look at your still form, the bruising you had was more prominent now, the days having let the full colours of blue and purple bloom across your skin“Y/N, will you do me a favour? “ His voice was quiet “I need you to wake up…” He knew it was going to take time but he wanted more than anything to see your eyes open, his heart felt like it was in a vice at not being able to do anymore for you at the moment and he hated that fact. He would only feel relief when he knew you were awake “Please wake up Y/N…” He pleaded almost imperceptibly. He knew that there was a possibility you may have some brain damage after being without oxygen for a short while when clinically dead, but the scans so far were hopeful.

He absentmindedly rubbed small circles on the top of your hand with his thumb, his anxiety of questioning his own actions beginning to creep back in to him, questioning himself as to whether he’d done absolutely everything he could to help you. He felt the overwhelming sadness run through him once more and he had a hard time fighting to keep his tears at bay. He didn’t think he’d ever cried so much in his life as he had in these past few days, it just made it that much clearer to him the depth of the feelings he held for you “Wake up… Please wake up soon Y/N…” It was silent for a short while as he managed to calm himself back down, though he never let go of your hand, needing to know you were there, a lifeline he was clinging on to.

“Z… Zayne?” It had been so quiet, your voice weak enough that he almost put it down to his imagination before he felt the smallest twitch of your fingers against his hand and he felt his heart falter slightly when he glanced towards your face and saw that your eyes were open. “Y/N?” He almost didn’t believe it, that you were awake before him, he’d stood before he even knew it sending the book he’d been reading flying across the floor as he kept ahold of your hand and he nearly couldn’t contain the flood of relief that went through him as he smiled. Your eyes were still slightly glazed over in confusion as they tried to focus on his face “I’m here Y/N, I’m here.” He gently stroked your cheek as he watched your eyes become clearer.

You felt like you hadn’t had a drink in an eternity, your mouth and throat drier than a desert as you focused on the man in front of you “You’re crying…” You croaked out and Zayne laughed, even though you were still coming to terms with everything that was going on, a dim thought in your mind told you that it was one of the most beautiful sounds you’d ever heard. “Because I’m happy, I’m so so happy you’re awake Y/N” He leaned over, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead and you saw the way his shoulders shook slightly as more tears rolled down his cheeks “Zayne, it’s okay…” You wanted to sound comforting, but your throat was that dry it was more a breathless, scratchy, crackle of a sound. You began to move your arm that wasn’t currently being held hostage by Zaynes hand but frowned when you found some restraint.

Glancing down you saw your arm in a sling, confusion only settling in further “What happened?” You were trying to desperately clear the cobwebs from your mind away as you turned your head to Zayne who had taken his seat once more and was pouring out a glass of water. He hesitated before speaking “What’s the last thing that you can remember?” You closed your eyes trying to sort through the hazy images that were flickering in and out of your grasp “I was… With Xavier, we… I had pancakes?” It was so hard to remember, everything was a blur and it was draining what little energy you had.

A glass of water was held out in front of your lips “Here, small sips only” He tilted the cup enough that you were able to take little sips of the water, watching to make sure you didn’t take too much. The relief was immediate, the cool water soothing your dry throat and you could have easily downed the whole glass if it weren’t for Zayne restricting your intake. Placing the glass down he waited patiently to see if there was anything else you could recall.

As your mind ever so slowly cleared, memories were getting easier to grasp on to “We went to find where the metaflux fluctuations were coming from and then…” Something shiny reflected in the corner of your eyesight and it was like putting the last puzzle piece in to place. With a click, everything came flooding back. The attack, Rafayel, the wanderer, blood, so much blood, people shouting, alarms blaring and the sound of your heart stopping. Everything was coming back thick and fast and you began to hyperventilate so much so that the monitor next to you burst in to a barrage of alarms, it hadn’t been a nightmare, it had all been very very real “Y/N! Y/N calm down, you’re okay, everything is okay, look at me, you’re safe okay? You’re safe” He soothed you gently, having quickly moved so he could take your face between his hands, getting you to look at him as he began to take deep breaths getting you to copy him doing so. “Deep breaths, you’re alright, I’m here, everything’s okay.”

A nurse had hurried over hearing the alarms but Zayne didn’t pay any attention to her, solely fixed on you and trying to calm your breathing. It took a few seconds for you to get yourself breathing steadily again, though your chest was pounding, your fragile heart hammering against broken ribs making you wince “It… Hurts…” You managed out through breathless pants and Zayne gave a nod to the nurse who went to fetch some more painkillers. “I know snowflake, I know, keep breathing slowly for me” He gently placed his hand over where the incision on your chest was, letting his cool touch soothe the wounds beneath. You closed your eyes at the feeling, calming yourself down more until your heart rate returned to something resembling normal.

Zayne watched as the nurse came back and gave you more painkillers, making sure not to give you too much as he moved to take a seat again, gently taking your hand once more as he did so “You need to be careful Y/N, you’ve suffered a lot of damage and it’s going to take a while for you to recover” You breathed slowly, trying to take in what Zayne was saying but your mind was going back to the last thing you fully remembered, Rafayel telling you to look at the sunset with him and you thinking you wished Zayne were there with you before it had all gone dark. “I died…” It wasn’t a question but Zayne gave a solemn nod anyway. He squeezed your hand gently and hesitated before deciding to fill in the rest of the blanks for you “The trauma you sustained from being hit was immense Y/N” He blocked out the memories of seeing the awful state your chest had been in when you’d arrived here “Paramedics were able to resuscitate you before you were flown here, you needed blood transfusions after the amount you’d lost.” He made sure that you wanted him to continue and after a slight pause you nodded your head, you wanted to know what happened, needed to know.

“When you arrived your were still critical, your blood pressure was too low that we took you immediately to surgery” He had to remind himself that you were alive in front of him, that he wasn’t dreaming as the images of you being dead before him flashed to the forefront of his mind “You flatlined again on the operating table, I saw your heart stop Y/N… I thought I’d lost you…” You could see his eyes glisten with the threat of unspilt tears and it made your heart break to see him so upset and worked up. You managed to lift your hand enough to gently caress the side of his face and smiled at him “Zayne… I’m here aren’t I? You saved me” He turned his head slightly so he was able to press a kiss to your palm, keeping your hand held close to him as though he was afraid you were going to disappear.

You remained silent in each others company for a while, him not quite believing that you were finally awake, and seemingly fine enough that you were able to remember what happened, and you, feeling tired, sore and guilty that you had put Zayne through that experience before remembering something else, guilt slamming in to you some more “I’m sorry I missed our date…” You were slightly taken aback when Zayne laughed again and you made a silent promise to yourself that you would do whatever you could to keep him happy and smiling as he was now “Oh my little snowflake, you can miss a thousand dates if it means I get to see you alive and well everyday.” You felt heat rise to your cheeks at that, which only caused Zayne to smile more at seeing your blush before he leant forward towards you, the cool skin of his forehead gently touching yours.

You brought your hand up to his cheek again “I’m so sorry Zayne” And you meant it, sorry for missing your date, for not being strong enough to hold on, twice, for causing him all that pain and suffering. You felt his lips brush against yours “You have nothing to be sorry for” He whispered before pressing a sweet kiss to your lips “Though please… Don’t EVER let me see you like that again, I’m not sure I’d be able to handle it.” You kissed him again, a light peck before pulling away slightly “I’ll try not to Doctor, I wouldn’t say being like this is something I want to get used to” You teased lightly before frowning. Lifting your hand, you gently moved to trail your fingers along the dark circles beneath his eyes “When was that last time you slept?”

Zayne quirked his eyebrow at you “You’ve just had major heart surgery, were clinically dead and you’re worried about me?” You stayed silent, giving him a pointed look, waiting for him to answer and he sighed in slight exasperation. “Don’t worry about me Y/N, I’ve had less sleep when I was studying to become a doctor. What you need to focus on now is getting yourself better. Doctors orders.” You pouted slightly at that though you could feel the tiredness begin to take hold again. The pain medication had gradually begun kicking in, turning the pain in your chest in to a dull throb and making you drowsy.

Zayne saw how you were trying to fight off the way your eyelids were getting heavier as he moved his hand to gently stroke through your hair, knowing it made you sleepy when he did. He gently pressed a kiss to your forehead as he listened to your breathing slow from being relaxed as sleep began to claim you “Rest my love.” He murmured quietly, finally able to feel at peace knowing that you were going to be okay.

[insomnia-productions]

i don't know if anyone remembers that teen apocalypse show Daybreak that Netflix cancelled after one season but im rewatching it while i wait for Yellowjackets s2 and i just transcribed turbo's entire on-screen-text speech from episode 6 and im going a little insane. i love him sm

anyway here it is:

You all. Every one of you. My legion, my friends, my tribe. I see you. I know your names and I know your heart. I know who puts in an honest day’s work. And I know who slacks the system. You know it, too. You know who you are. I SEE YOU. And it’s to you, I say, I’m lowkey-not-lowkey ballistic. You trust me to give you everything, yeah. Food, shelter, warmth, weapons, leadership, safety. Even a beer every now and then. And in return, you know what I ask? It’s pretty fucking simple. I ask that you don’t murder-kill me. That’s how this shit is supposed to work. Fair exchange, right? I mean, after everything I’ve built here? Look around you. This is our school. Our public school. And a public school takes in anybody. I take in anybody. There’s always a seat for you on my bleachers. Doesn’t matter your former tribe. Doesn’t matter who you used to be. You’re safe here. I’m the eye in Hurricane Nuclear Fallout. I’m the SPF-120 protecting you from the heat-blasting sun. And once it sets, I’m the only warm blanket you got on these bitter-ass nights. I give you all this, and I ask the simplest thing in return. Loyalty. Loyalty and trust. Loyalty and trust and like an inch of respect maybe. But mostly, loyalty. And would it seriously hurt you to pick up the trash every once in a while. This place is a mess. And it’s starting to smell like foot cheese. Again: I SEE YOU. A quarterback can’t make epic plays without knowing where every single lineman and running back and receiver is. Same here, with you. My job is impossible unless every lieutenant and soldier and kitchen scut right on down the line is is doing their fucking job. Vibe me? Am I getting through? Well, guess what? Y’all betrayed me. Why? I didn’t build all this so you fucks could just take it from me. No way. You don’t own this. The second you do is the second you make it toxic. I’m reminded of the immortal words of that guy who said whoha in Any Given Sunday. [HE GOES ON TO QUOTE THE ENTIRE SPEECH. IT’S LIKE… REALLY LONG.] Yeah. That’s right. I memorized that whole speech. Took me a whole year. I also memorized the speeches from Hoosiers and Remember The Titans and Rocky IV and Cool Runnings and The Mighty Ducks and She’s The Man and High School Musical and Friday Night Lights, both the movie and the television series. So I know about inspiration. I’ll tell you this story. It’s something I didn’t understand at first but now I’m coming around to it. It’s a story my dad told me. There was this guy who used to make vases. I don’t know what they call that? A vaser? Maybe? No. That’s wrong. A sculptor. I guess that could be right. A potter? Maybe a potter? I wonder if that’s why the kid is named Harry Potter? Because he made magic. Like made it. What was I saying? Potter? The vase! Right. Those vases were beautiful things. And check this out… the guy would wrap and unfired vase in horse hair — then put it in his kiln. The horse hair would burn off and leave these black, charred scars. But to get the horse hair, the guy would have to pluck it straight from a stallion's tail. How baller is that? And every time he did, that stallion would buck. The vase-maker, vaser, potter — he was pretty good at dodging the kick, cause he knew it was coming. But more than once, the horse would get him. Knocking him in the face and shoulder. Nasty shit. He still had rolling shards of broken bone you could feel, where the horse shattered his clavicle. But Christ in a halo, it was worth the pain. Those vases, man. I know you think I’m a dumb jock, but I can appreciate a thing like that. Well, I look out at you all, and I think that’s what I have here. You’re the bucking horse. I’m the sculptor. And the beautiful vase is all this, Glendale High. Look what we have. But you fuckers broke the vase. And I’m not sure we can ever glue this thing back together. But I’m gonna try. I’m really gonna fucking try. 

[tapakah0]

[vaguely-concerned]

I've written 5000 words of lucanis and rye fic the last two days and the only reason the wip isn't even longer yet is probably that my brain turns into useless ash and blows away for the day once it's channeled the lightning bolt of writing energy for a couple of hours and needs to sleep before it can stand up to another onslaught.

[machiavellli]

what’s up with me and plane crashing dreams. perhaps my life long obsession with the show air crash investigations is hitting or smth

[lyriumsings]

art book be like: draw with ✨intention✨ be mindful of your lines~

my brains translation as it hits me over the head with a rolled up newspaper: take your fucking time and actually think about what your doing!!

me: oOOHH!! :o

[zevrans-remade]

.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

normal procedure

words: 2.1k

warnings: 18+ only!!, dubcon, gynecologist!rafe, patient!reader, virgin!reader, gyno exam, fingering, p in v sex, protected sex

a/n: we can pretend that this is a roleplay scenario because obviously no real doctor would do this, lets all take a breath and remember this is fanFICTION aka not real or an endorsement by me (or my readers) of anything in this story

“oh, um-” you gulp, blinking as the fluorescent lights shine down on you.

“your feet ma’am.” he repeats, tapping the stirrups. you lift your legs, well aware that you're lacking any sort of underwear underneath your hospital gown.

your doctor secures your legs in the straps before his eyes drift to your center, now on display with your parted thighs.

you gasp and pull your gown down to somewhat cover yourself.

“ma’am, i assure you this is all part of the normal exam.”

“i-i-” you swallow thickly, blinking again, swearing the lights are only getting brighter, hotter, as a bead of sweat forms and falls on your forehead. “what's your name?”

“im doctor rafe cameron. certified gynecologist. you can just call me rafe though.” he explains softly. “and there is no need to be nervous.”

“okay… how long have you been a gynecologist?”

“asking all these questions is just going to delay what we need to get done.” rafe says. “shall we begin?”

“i suppose.” you nod. you know usually girls wait until after they have sex for the first time to visit, but with your twenty first birthday coming up as still a virgin, you decided you might as well stop delaying the inevitable.

“im just going to lift your gown.” rafes hands are slow and gentle as he brings the hem up, revealing your bare cunt to him.

“does it all… look okay?” you question. 

“you look perfect.” rafe says, his voice lowering in tone as he reaches for his gloves, pulling the latex over his long, slender fingers.

“okay.” you nod. surely a doctor would know. it lessens your anxiety the tiniest bit.

“im going to touch you now, okay?” rafe looks up at you, and his eye contact holds you still, blue eyes gleaming with intensity as they look into your brown ones.

“y/f/n?” 

“oh, yes.” you nod quickly. “yes, that's fine.”

rafe hums, the corner of his mouth turning up into a smirk. “so if i read your chart correctly, you haven't had sex yet?”

“no, s-sir.” you shake your head, eyes moving to the ceiling to avoid that captivating gaze, even if the fluorescents make your eyes hurt.

rafe mutters something under his breath, but you're sure your ears are just playing tricks on you. no way he would whisper “perfect” to himself. surely he's a professional.

rafe lays two fingers on your inner thigh and your entire body jolts, the gloves cold against your bare skin.

“it's okay.” rafes other hand rests on your thigh, rubbing gently with his thumb. “im going to begin the exam, if you feel any discomfort at any point just tell me.”

“okay.” you nod, and you swear despite the chilly gloves, his touch leaves a trail of fire as he brings his two fingers closer to your pussy, before suddenly swiping through your folds.

“oh!” you squeal out, hips lifting slightly before pushing back down.

“it's a normal bodily reaction.” rafe assures you before you can even feel embarrassment.

rafes fingers swipe through again, but at least you're expecting it this time. you blink quickly, trying to keep yourself calm as his other hand moves to join in examining your cunt.

“just going to use my thumbs to look around. let me know if it gets to be too much.”

just as rafe said, his thumbs begin to pull and poke at your skin. you move your gaze from the ceiling back down to rafe, seeing the same intensity in his eyes but now focused on your pussy.

“im going to touch you some place that may make you feel… fervent. please know that any reaction your body may have is normal and all part of the exam.” rafe places his thumb directly over your bud, and your body lights up like a firework.

you don't even realize you're moaning until the side of rafes mouth quirks up again into that signature smirk.

“oh!” you squeal again. “oh my god, im so sorry.”

“it's all normal.” rafe assures you. he gives you a moment to get used to the pressure on your clit, simply touching it with the pad of his thumb before he begins to swipe over it, stimulating your clit while his eyes move back and forth between your pussy and your face contorted in pleasure.

“is this supposed to feel so good?” you question. you didn't do much research on what actually happens when you get in the gynecologists chair, but you swear what you've heard from friends is that the exam isn't comfortable.

“yes.” rafe says simply, and you have no reason to not take his word as truth. “my thumb is going to stay there as i insert a finger.”

you nod, glad to have the distraction of his thumb moving around your clit, even if your cheeks flush with embarrassment as you grow wetter.

“hm, looks like i won't need any external lubricant.” rafe looks up at you. “sometimes i have to with virgins. but your pussy is perfect.”

“thank you?” your thought process is quickly shut off as rafes finger prods at your entrance, getting his gloves significantly wet.

“sorry if this is cold, but i have a feeling you'll warm me up quickly.” rafe pushes his finger inside slowly, and you have to tilt your head back and squeeze your eyes closed to keep more sounds from coming out of your mouth.

“does it all feel normal?” you're well aware at your voice must sound strained as rafes finger rubs against your inner walls.

“yes.” rafe says, this time his voice having an air of shakiness to it. “you're tight, but it's to be expected from a virgin.”

“s-sorry about that.” you can't tell if rafes emphasis on the word is negative or positive. “i didn't see myself losing it anytime soon so i scheduled my appointment.”

“and why is that darling?” rafe questions, his voice a purr as he begins to move his finger in and out in slow strokes.

“why am i a virgin? uhh…” you trail off. “i guess just haven't found the right guy yet.”

in truth, the whole idea of sex gets you nervous. hopefully after getting assurances that everything works okay down there, it'll be one less thing to be anxious about.

“we can take care of that today if you'd like.”

the thumb stroking over your clit flicks upward suddenly, making your hips jump up, legs straining in their spread position.

“what do you mean?” you ask, feeling and hearing rafes finger speed up, your slickness making it easier and easier for him to move.

“i can take your virginity. it's part of my duties as your doctor. only if you'd like, it's an optional part of the exam.”

“you mean like… insert something in me?”

“yes, my cock.” rafe smirks as he pulls his finger out, tapping against your wetness and letting the sound spread through the exam room.

“oh!” you look at rafe to make sure he's serious, but his expression doesn't convey any sort of joking around. “gynecologists do that?”

“for our virgin patients if they'd like. id wear a condom of course and take your virginity so it's less of an ordeal for you. and i can assure everything is working fine.”

“and by everything you mean…”

“making you cum.” rafes thumb applies a bit more pressure to your clit. “although you're already not far off, are you?”

“wouldn't know.” you can feel something growing in the pit of your stomach, an unfamiliar feeling you can't quite place.

“what do you say y/f/n?”

“s-sure.” you nod. “if this is all normal, i guess it's fine.”

“great.” rafe smiles, before looking down at your cunt. “ill have to work two fingers into you before fu- helping you lose your virginity.” he explains.

thankfully, his thumb keeps tapping and pressing down on your sensitive bud as a second finger lathers itself in your wetness, sliding through your folds before dipping into your cunt.

his finger are barely an inch inside before they're back out. “you'll have to excuse me for going one handed for a second.”

rafes thumb moves away from your clit, and you're about to cry out for more, immediately missing the feeling, when rafes mouth drops and his tongue takes its place.

“doctor!” you shout.

“all normal.” rafe assures you, his lips already shining with your juices. “taste is an important part of the exam too. and you're very sweet.”

you watch as rafes head dips again, his mouth working on your cunt as his two fingers that you hadn't even realized have been pushed inside of you begin to move.

rafes free hand reaches for his pants, pushing them down to get his already hard cock out. he begins to stroke as his tongue licks at your clit, fingers opening you up.

you feel another jolt of pressure when his fingers spread to scissor and close, scissor and close, working your gummy walls open for him.

rafe presses a series of wet, sloppy kisses over your cunt before restraining himself and pulling back, licking greedily over his lips to not waste your taste.

“are you ready?” rafe asks, reaching into a drawer to get a condom.

“yes.” you nod quickly. you're more than desperate now for his cock, especially as his fingers slide out and leave you empty to squeeze around nothing.

rafe stands up, bringing his cock up into your sight line. your eyes widen when you see he's much longer and thicker than his two fingers that were already a tight fit inside you.

“don't worry.” rafe says as he tears the foil of the condom before getting the rubber out and rolling it down his length. “im gonna take good care of you.”

your hips already sit at perfect height as rafe steps between your legs. you would close them out of shyness if it was at all possible.

rafe taps his tip over your clit, making you moan out, but you don't bother to hold back, not when rafe lets out a moan as well.

“the room is completely noise proof, and sounds are nothing to be embarrassed by.” rafe assures you as he rubs his cock against your pussy, thoroughly wetting himself before pushing against your entrance.

it's a slow push to break the ring of muscle, and then an easy slide once he's in.

“h-holy shit.” you whine out, hands gripping the side of the bed as rafes hips immediately begin to swing in and out.

“any pain?”

“none.” you answer quickly. there's no hiding the intense pleasure being brought to your body, especially when rafes thumb retakes its place on your clit.

“there ya go.” rafe smiles as he feels your cunt flutter around his cock. “i can tell you're getting close.”

rafe glances at the clock, wishing he could fuck you for longer, but if he extends the time for the exam too long the nurses will surely get suspicious.

“how does it f-ffffffff-” your ability to speak briefly lapses when rafes thrust speed up. “feel for you?” you manage to complete your sentence.

“your pussy feels amazing. you're so tight and warm. any guy would be lucky to be inside of you.” rafe says, his hips moving faster, desperate to cum. “perfect.”

you are practically glowing underneath the praise and impending orgasm, rafes thumb moving faster with real purpose now.

your head tips back and before you know it, a wash of light and pleasure has taken over your body, and you're moaning and twitching as what you're certain is your high breaks.

“that's it.” rafe smiles, feeling your pussy flutter around him, clit pulsing with the strength of your orgasm as he thrusts harder into your pussy, putting all his might into helping you ride out your orgasm and spur on his own.

rafe lodges his cock as deep inside of you as he can as he cums, briefly cursing the barrier of the condom from preventing himself from flooding your womb.

“very- good.” rafe pants, pulling out extra slow despite the clock ticking down, watching as your hole squeezes back tight as he pulls out.

rafe discards the condom and then his soaked gloves, sticky with your wetness before tucking himself back into his pants.

“take all the time you need.” rafe undoes the stirrups and let's your legs flop down. “ill come check on you in five minutes, i need to see if my other patient is here.”

and just as quickly as he entered, rafe leaves the room, leaving you with your pussy a sloppy mess and heart beating fast.