#this team was such a perfect trainwreck

[cardinalbiggles]

[onyourowndaisymae]

what your fav obey me love interest says about you (except they're only the reasons i'm attracted to them) (the sequel)

Lucifer

you want someone to have all the answers for you and to take the stress of being perfect off your shoulders

the sexiest thing a man can do is handle anxiety-inducing situations for you. if someone made a doctor's appointment on your behalf you'd swoon

Mammon

you like flawed love interests who, at the end of the day, still have a very solid core of kindness and love

you want to date someone that is obscenely proud to simply hold your hand or be known as your man in public

Leviathan

you are introverted and want a partner that understands your struggles

a partner's struggles with accepting/offering affection are endearing to you (whether for teasing reasons or because it's relatable. or both)

Satan

a person that likes cats is a person worth investing your energy into. understands boundaries, doesn't need constant attention, will feed strays w you... def a winner

receiving a love letter would actually kill you (said positively and with so much yearning)

Asmodeus

you want someone to bully you into loving yourself

there's a little rush in locking down the hot person everyone wants and knowing they're obsessed with you and only you

Beelzebub

being around someone who is constantly eating makes you feel less weird about eating anything ever (bc who the hell is gonna notice when he's gnawing on drywall next to you?)

there's a small part of you that wants to relive the silly romcom dream of cheering on your partner at their sporting event and having them almost get pummeled bc they're so enamored with you while they're supposed to be playing

Belphegor

napping together is a real and actually pretty nice date in your head

you find a combination of forwardness and bashfulness endearing. watching someone be so open about how much they desire you (and even tease you about wanting them!! the nerve!!) to blushing and getting defensive about their affection towards you is. mwah. chef's kiss

Diavolo

you like the idea of someone so important making time and space in their life to be a normal partner for you

you have an authority kink admire strong, driven people who devote themselves to their duties

Barbatos

acts of service is your (receiving) love language

hidden power/authority is attractive to you, especially when it's not flaunted or shoved in people's faces

you watched black butler at a critical age and thirsted after sebastian

Simeon

you are team "men should dress sluttier"

you want a partner that's strong, sensible, and stable to balance out the active trainwreck that you are and will continue to be

Solomon

having a partner willing and actively teaching you (specifically in a subject you're good at, it's not fun when you're shit) is kinda attractive ngl

a goofy motherfucker also being super skilled in a surprising array of disciplines AND able to defend you in case of emergency (looking at you, lesson 11 of nightbringer) is so hot

[the original]

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 35 - HUMOR

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: kellifer_fic

kellifer_fic wrote some of my favorite fics in this fandom, period. Their voices for the Avengers are all immaculate, and their way of writing dialogue is nothing short of incredible. It's even funnier than Marvel canon sometimes, and that's a feat that not many can pull off. I adore their fics, and if I could rec every single thing they've ever written here, I would. But alas, I'll restrain myself to some of my favorites.

Here's some of their work that I think you should check out:

jealousy is all the fun you think they had

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 3,887 Tags: Jealousy, Bucky Recovering, Fighting & Making Up

Summary: Is it socially acceptable to be jealous of your boyfriend's ex-dead best friend?

Reasons why I love it: This fic is equal parts hilarious and a glorious trainwreck of Tony self-sabotaging himself, which is very on brand for him. I love how nonchalant Bucky is about the whole thing, he truly is the best bro. And JARVIS is just the best, full stop. I adore this one, and if you haven't read it yet, you absolutely should!

Therapeutic Guidelines

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 8,357 Tags: Action Figures, UST, Team as Family

Summary: "Are you suggesting I get a bunch of bunk beds in here and squeeze us all into one room?" Tony scoffs and the woman just looks at him. "No, wait-"

Reasons why I love it: Doctor Barrow's role in this fic is actually kind of genius. I love the plot twist and everything leading up to it. There are so many funny moments, I can't even say which one is my favorite, but I especially enjoyed the team bonding. This fic is wonderful, and you should definitely read it!

99 problems (and the dice ain't one)

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 10,784 Tags: Living Together, DnD, Resolved Sexual Tension

Summary: Tony's life is almost perfect. He lives in a converted warehouse full of friends (and one frenemy), has a job that leaves him plenty of time to think about other things and a regular Friday night campaign. If his best friend, Steve Rogers, hadn't moved away to New York and left him behind, then perfection would've been achieved. Tony can roll with the punches though and he's almost all the way over that little bump in the road (shut up Bruce, he totally is) when Steve moves back, looking taller and broader and more confident than ever and Tony's left with a converted warehouse full of friends (and one frenemy), a job that leaves him plenty of time to think about other things, a regular Friday night campaign and the uncomfortable realization that maybe he's in love with his best friend and has been since he was sixteen.

Reasons why I love it: Oh my god, they're all such nerds, I love them! Tony the grumpy hermit is adorable, and I love how ass-backwards Steve and Tony are when it comes to their feelings. Plus, the team as family vibes in this are phenomenal. Definitely check this one out, it's fantastic!

even the cake was in tiers

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: NR Words: 5,500 Tags: Accidental Marriage, Magic, Team Bonding

Summary: I'm pretty sure I'm married to Steve Rogers.

Reasons why I love it: Just the title of this fucking sent me. The Tony sass is on another level in this one, and I'm enjoying every second of it. I love how Tony has a whole Ebenezer Scrooge moment about his life choices, and the ending is super cute. This fic is wonderful, and I hope you go and check it out for yourself!

one hundred percent skill, fifty percent luck

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 7,418 Tags: Poker, Pining, Kidnapping

Summary: Where there is a poker game, a v-card and general misunderstandings.

Reasons why I love it: I love how everyone on the team clearly understands what's happening, except for Tony. All of the poker night scenes are amazing, and I'm super impressed at how well this fic is balanced between humor and drama. I love it, and I bet you will too, so I hope you'll give this one a shot for yourself, if you haven't already!

[louisisalarrie]

Do you follow Liam on Snapchat? I really feel like his stories is one big Katey takeover because they’ve realised that people don’t care about her and therefore don’t follow her, therefore Liam has become some influencer because that’s what she like 🙈

This accidentally ran overtime and now the doors are opening and the show is about to begin. Anon, welcome to the show (sorry that was lame I’m trying to be creative oKAY)

I don’t have Snapchat but i do see a lot of the videos on twitter pop up. He really doesn’t seem well? And this chick is just… idk, very bad “i just wanna be a famous influencer” no substance vibes. He doesn’t seem or look happy, she’s very problematic with the drinking etc., and idk. I’m a bit worried on both his physical and mental health. Hypothetically, if he were to do a one off theatre show later this year or something, he would need to start doing something in the music realm because honestly, he’s dropped off for too long. he has to build a relationship back up with his fans because he can’t rely on the 1d fanbase to back him anymore. Hypothetically, he could’ve pulled off a good but small USA tour this year - idk what happened other than a lack of music released.

As a stunt with that girl, it doesn’t make much sense, either. She doesn’t appeal to his demographic, he probably appeals to hers a bit more? But still. It’s a weird pairing for a stunt, and I don’t think it’s based on closeting etc., I think they’re either together or his team are absolutely fucking shit lol and it’s actually a very poorly ran stunt. Snapchat, while more intimate than twitter, is still not a form of building a long lasting relationship with fans. He has a lot to do.

Anyway, one thing i did notice from today, was this Snapchat vid - saying he’s got to square up with niall? Like… he corrects himself, saying no bad vibes or anything but they need to talk. Why are you announcing this? Is it because niall won’t pick up your calls or something? Niall doesn’t even follow him on Insta. It’s giving sad ex partner vibes or something. I was kinda shrugging off the whole thing but after name dropping Niall in a way that could start beef, I don’t like it lol. It’s just… idk. It’s weirding me out because I can’t figure it out. There’s just something really iffy there and I don’t like it.

Liam’s whole vibe right now screams “help me” - like… it’s very dysfunctional and a bit of a trainwreck to watch. And it sucks, because he’s an excellent musician. But he’s lost touch with the fans, his shows have been cancelled previously and he hasn’t released anything in so long. I don’t understand what the struggle is. CAA manage a multitude of artists who have all done okay for themselves. They’re not a small agency who don’t have the money, nor the power, to propel a career where there’s money to be made. Same thing with his booking agents at Wasserman - they are very successful and have a wide reach. I’m just… confused with the whole thing, if I’m honest.

Mind you, I really do like Liam. I’m not a fan of his music really, but he did a lot for 1d back in the day and him and louis were very close. I don’t hate Liam and I don’t wish anything bad upon him. Quite the opposite really. And I’m hoping maybe he gets some more support now that louis’ on break but idk… he needs to get away from that girl for whatever reason he’s with her.

And I could go on about why I kinda don’t think she’s a stunt or hypothetical insider stuff about Liam’s career right now but I don’t find it productive. He needs to build a fanbase back up before booking shows. He’s only hurting his own career. And his agents need to pick up their slack too. He has potential. But the longer they wait, the less successful he’s gonna be.

It’s a perfect example of how louis built a loyal fanbase, vs Liam who didn’t.

[mclwcc]

and in light of fun stuff i'd love to hear your thoughts on, saw a post a while back that got me thinking and basically reached the conclusion that carlos and lando's personalities complimented each other perfectly, which in a way brought out the best in both of them, while lando and daniel have very clashing personalities (not that they didn't get along eventually, just very different). meanwhile lando and oscar's personalities just like. match.

seen people say lando is to oscar what carlos was to him and in a way, yes (oscar clearly does look up to lando a bit and lando took the brunt of the media stuff in the beginning to make him more comfortable), but i also think there is a pretty big difference there. landoscar just feel very aligned to me idk. would like to hear what your opinions are :) think you always have good takes

so i left this for a couple days bc its literally been slow cooking in my brain like a stew... thinking abt this so much. u bring such a good point abt the difference between complementing and aligning / matching...

i often find it rly fun to look at friendships and relationships thru the lens of sibling dynamics - its my own personal brand of astrology or ig personality typology that im addicted to. and w carlos and lando i think the reason they 'complemented' each other so well was bc they very easily fell into an older-younger sibling dynamic - both r middle children, and idk the exact numbers but carlos should probably be around oli's age (landos older brother, who lando's rly close to, arguably the closest of all his siblings - not only did they used to travel for karting competitions back in the day, but nowadays they share a core friend group and go on holiday together, which is cute). so like, lando as a 19 year old rookie, shy but full of energy, is in the perfect position to be lightly bullied, shown the ropes, taught random shit, be shoved into walls, etc by someone who likes to play within that older brother role

so you have that first of all, which already creates some familiarity for lando (who otherwise is quite slow to thaw out of keeping ppl at arms length), and also the fact that they got along w each other quite easily. i dont think theyre that similar (again, complement, not match, its so brilliant), but theyre both entertained by quite simple things, which is y their humour tended to be so lowest-common-denominator: words that sound funny, hitting each other in the balls, dirty jokes, etc. i think where they DO find similarities is when theyre serious - they both have a very head-down team-first sort of attitude (which i think rly solidified in lando BC of carlos), so their trust in each other in terms of that helped make their more personal friendship rly straightforward and natural

daniel meanwhile... where do i start. i spent two years losing my mind in dms over the glorious trainwreck awkwardness that is dando and their interactions. i still cant QUITE parse it but its so good. u have lando whos used to having quite a reactive/passive friendship with carlos, suddenly putting his feet on the ground and his shackles up bc he stopped liking the directions he was being pushed in w daniel. i think daniel deffo is a big, domineering personality, naturally kind of selfish (youngest sibling AND im pretty sure the only boy) (im not judging him im also the youngest i can reclaim), and to keep it concise i think it kind of gave lando the ick.

lando is a very judgemental person, and his humour is quite specific - he'll laugh at the dumbest things ever, like the word 'blowy' or 'pubes' or jokes abt girls running away from him, AND also rly subtle sarcasm that takes a lot of context clues. but he just cannot operate within the middle ground: the typical snl-style (american type) classic humour. he just doesnt get it. when ppl try to do it with him u get things like 'lando i hope you're sitting down... you're p2' 'i don't know why will said that, i'm literally strapped to my seat' and 'throwback thursday' 'it's funny cos it's friday'. he sucks at metaphors and doesnt have patience to wait for punchlines, so the fact that daniel is kind of like universally 'classically' funny actually worked against him - especially bc daniel was fuelled w the confidence that lando liked him and found him hilarious

so thats actually the other thing - is daniels incapability of actually listening to lando. again, we kind of start from the standard of the carlos relationship, with lando as the reactor, but carlos was always rly attentive towards lando. and then daniel comes in - u have lando like a dog who figured out ur trying to exit the park and has suddenly refused to keep walking along, and daniel holding an endlessly extendable leash, whistling a little tune, completely oblivious that his dog is still like three streets down. lando was throwing him jab after jab after joke after joke for like the entirety of 2021 ('they just dig up jam' forever my favourite), but they would just fly over daniels head, making lando become more and more detached and disinterested in interactions w daniel. waaaay into their partnership as teammates, theres this video of lando telling daniel that theyre serving cookies (?) somewhere, and daniel says 'so you got a brownie?' and i think lando says smth like 'nah a cookie, not a brownie, otherwise i wouldve said brownies', to which daniel is like 'i respect that, you're finally dishing it back'. and i rmbr my reaction was like FINALLY ? WYM FINALLY?? hes BEEN doing this for SO LONG like ALL THE TIME now.

idk, its weird bc opinions r rly split on dando, some ppl in yt comments or reddit or whatever still say they were the funniest duo in f1, but other ppl will always pipe up saying the energy was awkward and it was clear they didnt like each other. neither of those things r true for me - i think they did like each other, especially later on (professionally, i think lando definitely had a lot of anxieties abt having to outperform the big new top dog in the team, which made him a bit colder, but i think he gained a lot of respect for daniel when he saw how much daniel was struggling but how much he was still willing to show up and do the whole job until the end w a smile on his face). i have a suspicion they probably get along way better 1 on 1, bc a lot of daniel's off-putting intensity happens when he tries to play up for the cameras. but i am also partly thankful for that too, bc we had a couple art challenges in 2021-2022 where daniel did all the talking, so lando could focus on having fun with his Little Tasks, and thats literally my fav type of mclaren video, so cheers danny.

so then we get to oscar. i think the main difference with oscar is that, for the first time, lando doesnt have a bigger personality imposing itself on him. if he used to b reactive with carlos and daniel, oscar is way more laid back and passive than him, which means lando is finally for the first time the one setting the pace. especially in the early days, this was obvious - lando would throw out the beginning of a bad joke, expecting to be interrupted or one-upped, but oscar would just sit there quietly creature-staring, waiting for lando to finish his train of thought. it was so awkwardly delightful. so what u get now is that lando isnt playing catch up anymore - which doesnt mean hes making oscar do it now. on the contrary, what ive found is that lando brings his personality to oscar-volume, which sounds like it would be dull but it so isnt. again, he thrives in quiet subtlety, and so does oscar, so u get videos like the finish the lyrics where u have to turn the volume all the way up to even hear what theyre saying, but its so worth it bc its SO fun once u do.

in terms of matching, theyre definitely quite similar in terms of humour. both of them love the awkward pauses and jim halpert looking into the camera and eye rolls and deadpan. it took a while to find their rhythm w two of them playing the same joke-role and not having a straight man (comedy term!!) to bounce off of, but i think they figured it out. theyre different enough in terms of family dynamics (oscar is an eldest brother w many sisters, but also younger than lando) that neither of them would fit a pre-made space, so they can just kinda be on equal level to each other. this is especially true since theyve grown up in the same circles - never raced each other directly, but lando moved up categories rly fast, which means oscar spent his late teens mostly racing ppl lando was racing in karting and early single seaters. (most significantly, max fewtrell, who oscar used to b in the junior renault academy with, and who i think is kind of a good representation of what lando and oscar have in common - lowkey, sarcastic, deadpan, but also not taking himself too seriously)

to come back to what u said abt oscar-lando being inverse lando-carlos: i also see it to some extent, like u said (theres those tiktok edit parallels like lando telling oscar to cut his hair the way carlos said it to him in 2019). i think its mostly something lando himself is conscious of and sort of imposes on himself - he often compares oscar's personal trajectory to his, like when he says oscar will open up and be less quiet once he gets comfortable (which was true), so i think hes deffo aware of the comparison. but i dont think it runs any deeper than that, bc i havent seen lando position himself as the same kind of mentor-guru in-the-know older figure. i just dont think his personality can mould to that

idk sorry for this novel size answer. i have even more thoughts abt oscar and lando that im currently trying to shove into a fic so like. all of this has been floating in my brain for ages now

[running-with-the-feels]

Ah yes the perfect group a homophobic one eye cyclops, a trans bi cowboy from the 1800s and a burnt chicken nugget gay dude who doesn't know what a gender is. Dream team lmao (no hate ofc)

They are chaotic and it is a sight to behold. Like a trainwreck.

Kabal and Erron have a Look they share whenever Kano is being a dick and it's a miracle they haven't killed him yet

[mlb-a-rewrite]

Miraculous Ladybug: A Rewrite

And so it begins.

I've been watching Miraculous Ladybug (MLB) since 2017 and even back then, when I was but a wee lass, I was thinking of problems I had with the show.  Like clockwork, I will find myself stumbling back into the show and the fandom every year and each time I do I find myself noticing more issues that bug me.

So finally, after 7 YEARS (oh my god it's been seven years), I finally decided to address all my problems with this show and thus, "The Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir: A Rewrite" was born. Is the rewrite perfect? No. Is it completed? Hell no. Is it better than the original show? ...I hope so. 

I also wanna preface this all by saying that I don't hate the show or think it's awful. If I thought this show was an irredeemable trainwreck I wouldn't have written 100 pages about it. I know the production was, and still is a nightmare and I hope this rewrite doesn't make it sound like I'm just shitting on the team that worked on the show. They did the best with what they were given and I can see glimpses of a different show buried beneath the inconsistent magic system and questionable characters.

I love this show and I love what it could've been even more.

So here it goes, I hope you enjoy the periodic updates about my miraculous ladybug rewrite.

(And if you like it share it with your friends. I'm posting this here without having finished it in hopes that online traction will help motivate me to keep going when I lose motivation)

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

New Gossip Girl 2021 ocs

All I'll say is blame @cecexwrites for enabling me

(gossip girl besties I'm also very here for crossovers 👀 @the-witching-ash @manyfandomocs @ginevrastilinski-ocs @cecexwrites )

Aislin Hart in Social Suicide

Lowkey James Locke 2.0 but her mom doesn't love her; parents pushed her into performing from a very young age, bit of a child star (child actor to popstar) to trainwreck situation Homeschooled for most of her life but starting high school (or as a sophomore) there was a push from part of her team for her to go to a real school for “relatability” reasons, gets enrolled at constance billard, starts to befriend the gang but then lockdown happens and she is pushed by her parents to be basically 24/7 content machine no matter what, just as she hits her breaking point, schools reopen for real She's trying so hard to be caught in a scandal where she'll be told to "take a break from the public eye" and not have to be 24/7 content creating but it keeps not working and she's going insane about it

Chloe Branson (Anna Cathcart) & Nora Branson (Lana Condor) & Milton Milo Aston in Fortune & Fame

The Branson sisters gre wup middle class. Nora is used to a relatively normal life, mostly raised Chloe because their parents were always working. Their parents recently got very very rich from an app her mom made or something details still tbd, kids are transferred to Constance, parents are still never around. Nora befriends some of the core group but thinks they’re very out of touch, Chloe has just started high school and gets totally swept up in all of it Milo Aston is Nora's eventual love interest, popular jock, close with Aki & Obie because of sports, everyone thinks he’s this spoiled rich brat but actually his dad is rich & pays for school but he grew up with his mom who was solidly middle class and lives outside of the city. His parents agreed for him to start living with his dad as a sophomore because St Jude’s had a better chance of getting him sports opportunities in college, he got very caught up in the flashy lifestyle for a while but has generally settled down until gossip girl gets involved

Gabriela Caparros in Reputation

Rafa's younger sister, parents are very not involved in her life, Rafa is semi raising her but also very emotionally absent so Gabriela is used to just taking care of herself, she struggles to open up to anyone let alone to ever let anyone help her. She and Max have had an on-and-off fling for a long time before he set his eyes on her brother. Gabi knows Rafa and knows his tendency to sleep with students just after they become of legal age, tries to warn Max away from him but Max thinks that she’s being petty & jealous

Jazz Ellis in Doll Heart

Davis Calloway had a history of getting women drunk and coercing them into sex: he didn't know he got one of them pregnant. Jazz's mom had been Davis' assistant and an aspiring singer, one too many late nights working led to him offering her a drink, then another drink, until Jazz's mom was wasted, they had sex, and Jazz was conceived. Needing an escape from New York, her mom moves to LA andstarts her music career there instead. Jazz grew up between LA & being on tour with her mom, they moved to New York only three months before everything went into lockdown. Pre-lockdown Jazz became a part of the group, not knowing the Julian connection. She learns the truth during the pandemic and returns to school carrying this heavy secret but not knowing how to bring it up, or even if she should

Sasha Davenport in Material Girl

all vibes so far but Paris & Obie's third musketeer, daughter of a very influential lawyer and equally influential politician who expect constant perfection to maintain the family image

[dayurno]

darling, have you any kevjeanthea thoughts to spare? i've been going insane since i found out jean was thea's puppy and also their Mailman. i'm in need of your wisdom rn.

<3 (@stabbyfoxandrew)

OF COURSE hello darling aerie i hope you're doing well also you know exactly what you're doing referring to jean as thea's puppy don't you. i think i hauve covid....

as of right now i have two ideas which are not really that distinct but cause me great amusement... first i thought about established pro era kevthea and jean ending up in the same team as them (possibly the olympics?) while being a trainwreck himself and kevthea immediately taking him under their wing :) this is like the standard aftg poly fic scenario and i fall for it all the time because it's so GOOD. i think at first kevin's the one who's kind of laying it heavy on jean because he's worried he might do something stupid but thea is ultimately the one drawing jean by the back of his neck and being like you're acting ridiculous. live with us. and he does... AND THEN OF COURSE the evergreen offer of a threesome, the unbearable tension, the constant mistaking of jean as either kevin's or thea's boyfriend, being so close it gets inappropriate. the perfect culmination i think would be a night where they actually do sleep together and jean wakes up under kevin and thea like what the fuck just happened

AND I DONT THINK THEY EVER TALK ABOUT IT. or like define terms. or even boundaries. but it happens and its there and jean is just casually added to their every activity like hes always been there in the first place :) i think theres something just so fun about a dynamic like that for poly ships sorry sorry sorry. jean thinks he's a single man until it's christmas 2011 and he's having dinner with thea's family

my Other idea was well of course the nest-era moment. i was thinking thea has a the boy is mine moment with jean until she realizes that jean has a crush on her too and she's Very flustered about it because it's definitely not what she expected would happen out of this situation. i don't know if it'd change much about canon but i think itd make the scene where kevin takes thea to see jean in tkm very tense >:3 and you know how she was like should i come back? to kevin i think they could do something similar for jean like. finish usc. get a little better. and then we'll come back for you. and they do :3

[fandomfluffandfuck]

*Distant screaming*

S!!! I HAD ANOTHER IDEA.

Okay we all know the sweet (very sad) baby bunny that is TJ Hammond. We know how his love life hasn’t been too fantastic. But!!!! What if he finds a new guy that makes him happy? A sweet guy from the Boston suburbs with a nice job and an even nicer body. Maybe he meets Mr. Barber at a bar or maybe a group therapy session or also maybe he gets into some legal trouble. And suddenly he finds himself going home with this guy who makes him want to do things that his mother’s PR team would not approve of. Maybe it’s the first time he’s been really treated with love, where it’s clear that he’s adored just as much as he adores Andy. He’s head over heels, and so when things go to shit he finds himself on Andy’s doorstep.

“TJ? Sweetheart, are you alright?” Andy asks, worry in his voice.

TJ can’t even talk, he just lets the tears fall and shakes his head. He’s quickly ushered in and hugged tightly, where he promptly breaks down. Sobbing into Andy’s shoulder, hanging onto him like a lifeline. Andy just keeps holding him, kissing the top of his head and whispering sweet words.

“Oh, darling… It’s okay, baby, you’re okay. I’m here, you’re safe. Won’t let anything bad happen to my angel.” He whispers, and TJ just melts further.

TJ can’t imagine being more loved. Slowly, he dries his eyes and looks up at the older man. He smiles for what feels like the first time in a week, and is met with a kiss to his forehead.

“I love you, TJ. Always.” Andy says, and the kiss that TJ gives him is nothing short of perfect.

you can also imagine TJ with Pete Brenner, and how much of a smutty trainwreck that would be. TJ would definitely call Pete daddy, and Pete would totally call TJ his bunny. They’d end up worse than they started, but I can’t stop thinking about how TJ would totally end up drunk/high out of his mind and pissed at Pete, storming into his office and exposing him to everyone.

“You just fucking wanted power, didn’t you, Daddy?!”

“TJ, this isn’t the time…”

“Fuck you!”

I know it’s a bit of a weird pairing, but it’s stuck in my head and now I’m gonna stick it in yours >:)

Hello again!

Oh. My. God.

I love this. I love both of these. A pairing for every fucking mood.

A comforting, loving (maybe even overprotective, nearly smothering sometimes, I'm looking at you, Andy 👀) pair.

And a train-wreck pair.

Andy would give TJ the best, best hugs when he's upset and in need of comfort--the kind of hugs that engulf TJ in warmth and come with an endless supply of soothing back rubs, that man is so empathetic he's basically just a big teddy bear. Plus, with Andy's (relatively) normal life (assuming this outside of or before the Defending Jacob timeline, lol), he's the breath of fresh air TJ needs. I bet they meet when TJ gets a DUI, maybe he injures himself or someone else in the car with him, nothing huge, just a mild crash that was his fault, and he needs a lawyer for. Andy is there. Andy is kind. Andy can see he didn't do it on purpose--he's just hurting, and he needs someone. It's frightening how badly Andy wants, no, needs to be that someone for this sweet kid.

Absolutely Pete would do TJ dirty, assisting him in his downward spiral, able to get him both money and drugs fast. Rapidly, TJ discovers more drugs and more vices to make him feel better, if only for a little while, all at Pete's insistence. Anything he wants, Pete can get him, no questions asked. Plus, they move fast as a couple, too; they meet during a night out, not knowing each others names before they're pushing and shoving their way into the sleazy club's bathroom with TJ on his knees in some filthy stall, then, that same night, TJ dismisses any lose security detail he had to go back to the apartment of this stranger, buzzed and high. His phone is dead. He doesn't care. And it's obvious that Pete doesn't either. It's reckless. It's intense. And it overpowers them both, unraveling completely.

Thank you for the thoughts!!

[lilithfairen]

So, the latest episode of Fixing RWBY...

For folks who are delightfully living without knowledge of this trainwreck, Fixing RWBY has just gotten up to just before the climax of the Volume, with the heroes' efforts to get to Argus despite Cordovin's stonewalling. And Celtic Phoenix, being the master of pacing that he is, decides that now is the perfect time to dump in a Cinder-focused episode! Specifically, the bit about Cinder in Mistral, which in actual V6 happened at the 1/3rd mark of the volume, in the same episode as RWBY + Oscar and Qrow arriving at Brunswick Farms, further grinding plot progress to a halt.

And this is a remarkable episode, because it shows that the only time that Celtic Phoenix can do anything original that isn't just ripping off RWBY canon, it's to show what a racist piece of shit he is.

Because this episode consists of two parts:

1.) Celtic Phoenix's shitty Cinder backstory, where she's taken to Salem by Tyrian. This is notable in that the scene involves Salem letting Cinder stab the hell out of her to show Cinder that she's immortal, just like how Salem cowed Hazel in canon. Because Celtic Phoenix is a hack who can't come up with his own material.

2.) Ripping off the fight between Cinder and Neo, except this time it's against one of the Malachite sisters (for those who don't know, the other sister died in Fixing RWBY and now she's a psycho who wants to kill Roman), who of course ends up agreeing to work with Cinder to kill Roman. So yanno, she's just the replacement Neo, because in Celtic Phoenix's eyes, a woman who is completely submissive to a man can't be a villain.

So what is the one original thing that Celtic Phoenix does in this chapter to highlight what a fucking awful human being he is?

He brings back Arslan Altan—again, the previous time having been to have her mock Pyrrha's death—just so he can have Cinder kill her.

Yep.

When a white male character gets dragged back into Fixing RWBY, he gets to be more of a hero and main character than Team RWBY themselves, to the point of holding his own against a main villain and coaching one of the lead characters through her own arc. When a woman of colour reappears, it's to be an awful person and then get killed off with ease in a scene that adds nothing whatsoever to the story.

Just in case you were wondering if today's episode further highlighted what a complete piece of shit Celtic Phoenix and everyone who supports Fixing RWBY is.

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

It seriously irks me that people don't grasp that James Ironwood is disabled. Even then, they're SO ableist.

I fully understand what it's like to have your emotions shut off so you can do what you feel is right or what you MUST do in a certain situation. So much that you can't control when it happens or what you do during it. Seeing him CRY when his most trusted companion (he TRUSTED her with the knowledge he knew and rewarded her by making her the next candidate of the Winter Maiden) was betraying him because of his paranoia due to his PTSD? That was REAL to me. It was RAW.

Seeing toxic stans shit on the disabled asian man (who's conventionally white passing to non-asians) with PTSD is so triggering. It saddens me how he was handled. And how he became my instant favorite alongside Oz. Two of the opposing forces of team RWBY who are villains or "misguided" at best.

He's more lovable than the MCs. In what was only a singular volume.

While the MCs are SUPER arrogant and SO intolerable that fanfictions fixing the series make them better says leagues about how RWBY fell harder than Atlas.

Sorry for ranting, but my goodness. I hate how underappreciated James Ironwood is, how he's hated by most everyone and how the girls took credit for HIS plan and then condemned everyone they claimed to wish to protect to die, displaced from their home and in a kingdom that most definitely hates them and what they stand for.

He deserved so much better.

I'm having a flashback to that post saying James isn't disabled because he can walk. I just that post still breaks me I am not gonna lie.

But oh gosh I understand what you mean anon. While in my management job it was hell. I would have to push down my emotions and shut them off to get through the day because people where horrible but I couldn’t get emotional about it. Of course after being called too emotional and I tried to better control my emotions I was then accused of not caring :/.

The whole Winter and James thing is a it’s a thing and I hate it all lolZ. I hate how James is the only one to seem to care about the fight. I hate that Winter blames him for everything even stuff that’s not realistic to blame him for. I hate how it seems like Winter doesn’t give two shits about anyone. The tear itself can feel a little silly for lack of better words cuz it’s that dramatic single tear thing but like it at least shows James cares about Winter and hates what is happening unlike Winter who just takes the easy way out and decides to fight him rather then try and reach him and try and have the difficult conversation. As we see in the earlier scene where Emerald tricks him she has just given up on him without even trying and does t care that he’s suffering from PTSD and breaking from the pressure. The characters and the narrative hate him and shit all over him despite being the ones to break him in the first place.

Yea for me he became my favorite in volume 7 when we really saw what he was dealing with and the pressure he was under. I watched volume 7 during Covid after I left a really brutal management job and seeing James’s struggles reminded me so much of my own so I definitely connected with him. He’s so much more interesting because he’s allowed to make mistakes and have struggles and fail and it’s just more relatable then the mains who just….aren’t.

The mains are forced to be perfect and be seen as perfect in every action and it makes them so hard to relate to. I saw one twitter post that claimed Weiss was gaslighting herself in episode 2 when she said they screwed up. It’s kind of insane to me how fans just refuse to accept that sometimes the mains make mistakes and screw up but that doesn’t make them evil like James being flawed doesn’t make him evil.

Don’t apologize for ranting that’s what the inbox is here for! Volume 8 was a trainwreck and I hate how it ruined basically all of the characters to try and force a plot line to happen that just did not work at all and realistically would get more people killed then James’s plan would have.

James by far got screwed over the most but I think all of the characters deserve better then the bullshit we got.

[knightsofsomethingorother]

Right so. Before ANYTHING... you need to see the intro to this show.

Let it sink in. Bask in it. Writhe in it.

Okay now that that's out of the way, our story starts with a stupidly long and slow 'battle' between these dudes...

And Camelot which only has 3 people in it.

Merlin, Womanlady, and Guinevere. Anyway Guinevere's kidnapped by a bird man. Roll with it.

He knocks Merlin over and then everyone fucks off.

What, did you expect more? That's what happens. THAT'S ALL THAT FUCKING HAPPENS. YOU DON'T GET MORE.

So anyway, the question is... where the fuck is everybody. And there's an answer. Turns out Arthur and the Questy Boys all got locked in the... Let me check my notes here... 'Cave of Glass'. What is that? I don't know! I hope we find out though.

Anyway.

Merlin monologues at the round table for a wee bit, filling the audience in on all of that, then Nimue shows up, tells him what to do and then he reaches through time to summon... reincarnations..? Alternate versions..? A group of Dudes where two people are named 'Arthur' and 'Lance'. Some destiny something I don't really care about. But what do I care about?

AMERICAN FOOT BAAALLLLLL!

AMERICAN FOOTBALL.

So number 12 up there who just scored the Winning Touchdown there is Arthur. Or new Arthur, at least. His name is Arthur King and I am dead on the inside. He's the special boy, I'm to assume.

Anyway they win the game and then this group of VERY CLEARLY HIGH SCHOOL BOYS drive a BUS on their OWN to NEW YORK CITY.

In this bus we get to see the rest of the team.

So uh... This came out in '92. There is a Single Asian Character and Two Black Characters. We will see how well the series treats them but so far the Asian guy has talked once and he's a nerd who likes Museum and only one of the black guys has spoken and his name is 'Tone' and he talks like a black guy named tone in a 1990s cartoon would talk so... Hopes aren't high.

Anyway this UNSUPERVISED FOOT BALL TEAM OF HIGH SCHOOL BOYS DRIVING A BUS ON THEIR LONESOME are 100 miles from New York and a storm is moving in. Arthur King (hghghhg) tells the kid driving to take a shortcut he just so happens to know.

Sidenote. This is my favorite guy. I've decided already. This is also a good time to say that aside from Arthur and Lance there are no other allusions to actual Knights of the Round Table. Not even indirectly. Thank CHRIST.

Anyway they eat shit and fall down a cliff for like 3 full minutes and end up in Camelot.

I need to say that I WISH I knew how to make Youtube Poops because this is a fucking GOLDMINE. Every other line read is just... Mwah. Perfection. They don't sound human. They sounds like AI before AI was a thing.

So they end up in Camelot. Get some new clothes. Merlin sends them to fight some guys. They're down with it and don't really object. They fight some guys. All the while the football boys are talking about AMERICAN GODDAMN FOOTBAAAAALLLLL. The end.

Sound rushed? That's because it is! This is a clunky trainwreck and if I was a wee bab in the year 1992 I wouldn't be interested in this at all. The only character I like thus far is Bus Boy who I will call Bus Boy from here on out because I refuse to use his actual name who is the only Guy with like... a likeable personality (so far). His voice actor is also doing a really good job and that does go a long way. The football team just kind of accept shit immediately with little pushback and that's just not compelling. Plus most of the runtime is dedicated to Merlin expositing stuff at us. It's not over-the-top campy and it's not FUN. At least not yet. They've got 25 more episodes to be fun.

Also is this design for one of the baddies racist?

Yeah so in summary 2 AMERICAN FOOTBALLS out of 5

[lightning-macrine]

Fuck it, OFMD E-sports/gamer/streamer AU + Valorant headcanons (ft. The rest of the Revenge crew):

Ed is a popular streamer under the user “BlackbeardX0” who is most known for his Valorant streams. He duos with Izzy (username “BasilicaHandsX0” – yes he made it so he was matching with Ed), who isn’t a streamer but has a lot of fans within Ed’s Twitch community because basically everyone but Ed can see that Izzy is absolutely smitten with him and wanna see how that trainwreck ends.

Louis is a big fan of Ed’s streams and in the midst of the divorce™️, Stede starts watching them with him to try and connect more with him. He instantly falls in love with Ed and gets the wild idea to reach out and sponsor him and fund his professional ESports team with his vast fortune, despite having NO idea what actually goes on in any of the games.

Izzy is skeptical (duh, who wouldn’t be?) but Ed is so fascinated by Stede’s email that he agrees to meet him for a quote on quote “business meeting”. They hit it off and so The Revengers (yes I’m mixing up OFMD and Thor: Ragnarok together it just works okay??) are born.

Stede and Izzy fall in hate at first sight but Ed needs Izzy on the team because half his amazing strats and moves all rely on Izzy being able to do his thing as support/healer so Stede has no choice but to let him join. However, because of Izzy’s overall attitude (read: toxic af) they don’t actually have other people who play with them regularly enough to join the team immediately (there’s Jack aka. “CalicoJackA$$” but he’s a bit of a wildcard and gets banned allll the time) so Stede has to venture out and find people to fill the roster. This is where the rest of the Revenge crew come in.

He finds Oluwande and Jim, a pair of up and coming Valorant streamers to join the permanent roster, and they recommend Roach who mostly does cooking streams but is also a top OP crutch player and so they have their full roster. On the bench they have Buttons, Wee John, Ivan, and Fang.

On the promotional/social media/technical side of the team they have Lucius (graphics and socials), Frenchie (sound and IT), Black Pete (editing and IT), and the Swede (HR).

Without further ado, (some, not all) my Revenge Crew Valorant headcanons:

Ed:

Yoru main

Loves a good fuckery using the teleports and fake teleports

A clutch god

Relies a lot on Izzy to heal/rez him when he tries new strats and set-ups

Usually proposes which site to push and what strat to use

Forgets to comm sometimes but when he does they’re pretty good

Izzy:

Sage main

A shameless pocket for Ed if he demands it (which is a lot of the time)

Not afraid to scream at his duelists (never Ed though) if they aren’t clearing site or protecting him during plant

Can clutch up every now and then, won’t be happy about it though

The epitome of the “a single mom who works two jobs” audio

Can be really toxic on comms or chat, has been penalised/banned several times because of this. He does not care. Will do it again.

Overall good comms, but he always sounds angry when he does

Jim:

Omen main

A sneaky bitch

WILL knife you from behind when you least expect it

A GOD at flanking and playing for picks

Will hold angles/be a rat if provoked enough

Actually knows how to use Omen’s teleport

Sometimes forgets to use their smoke (Olu has to remind them)

Proud owner of the RGX butterfly knife

Is a bit of a slow starter so tends to get underestimated a lot but once they know your movements you’re toast

Only comms after they’ve died

Oluwande:

KAY/O main

The perfect all-rounder, amazing comms and game sense

King of Assists

Can sometimes get distracted by Jim but overall it works out most of the time

Can switch to Brimstone if extra smokes are needed

Roach:

Chamber main

OP crutch

A one-tap demon

Will destroy enemy team morale with a cig hanging out the side of his mouth

Not the best team player, will bait you and is not sorry for it (he might apologise if he loses after baiting you, which is very rarely)

Trolls in All chat a lot

Terrible comms, he doesn’t know the name of anything

Will get straight up toxic if up against another Chamber

Buttons:

Cypher main

Knows something we don’t

Is actually…really good, infuriatingly good

Knows all the wildest set-ups for trips and camera

Has the weirdest comms though

Can clutch up every now and then (the moon needs to be in the right phase)

[btranmuses]

Executive Intervention

a gay urban fantasy short story

The candles snuffed out, though Sabrina felt no air movement. All but a single flame remained against the sudden darkness, and in the mirror where she should be, stood a man. The meagre illumination from the candle couldn’t penetrate the blackness that shrouded his face, but still its reflection danced as two golden pinpricks where his eyes should be. She swore if she looked at them long enough, they would bear through the back of her skull, scraping clean every ounce of secret she harboured there.

A new City of Mist campaign, another short story! Introducing Liam An, fuccboi, manwhore, executive, mirror teleporter and psychic terroriser. The Group is facing a sudden business disruption threatening one of its subsidiaries, and Liam is here to intervene on behalf of the Board.

I.

Liam thought the new guy was fine. Late thirties or early forties, if the grey temples were any indication. Those tanned fingers were ring-free, and he rocked the grey suit. To anyone else the man would look calm and collected, but not everyone could sense these things like Liam could. Tension radiated from the man like a full-bodied punch, with just a swirl of anxiety for spice; an almost valiant effort at composure.

By fine, Liam meant delectable.

Alani Chauhan, the CEO, finished her typing and looked up from her end of the conference table, to Liam's right. "Mr. Manik, please," she said, as all eyes landed on the new guy. "I'm ready. Let the Group know how Enstern is doing."

Lee Manik, in his grey tailored glory, nodded and moved to the other end of the table. The Glacial Holdings Group logo stopped spinning on the screen wall, turning into Enstern Corporation. The rest of the Board eyed him like hawks, and Liam too, though with a different flavour of hunger. It was, if anything, interesting to see how the new Director was managing the launch of a new supermarket chain.

The man went through his presentation on how Enstern was doing. Liam could sense disappointment rising from those expecting a trainwreck, but from many others, and himself, respect and delight. Enstern was… concerning when Lee assumed the role a few months back, but it looked quite healthy now: finances, resources, strategy, construction, paperwork all on track, and the marketing direction Liam approved with minor adjustments was in good shape.

Before Liam could tune out, though, Lee dropped a bombshell.

"Neopac, Enstern's major logistics partner, is unfortunately indicating their intention to withdraw from the partnership," Lee said with perfect composure, though his anxiety spiked bitter in Liam's mouth. "My team is trying their best to find out what motivated this decision, but progress is slow. Yes, Mr. An?"

Liam lowered his hand. "How about Harkinsons and Pearce?"

"They are still on board with the Enstern launch, but with Neopac's reputation, there is the risk that their withdrawal may have a knock-on effect on the others."

Liam shook his head. "Those two will be glad to take over Neopac's spot, believe me. As long as they commit, the launch will be fine, though I'd rather Neopac stay in line and minimise disruptions." He started composing a message on his phone to his secretary, but not before flashing a smile at Lee, and catching the man double-taking. Jackpot. "Leave them to me, I'll follow up."

"With all due respect, I don't think Mr. An's involvement is necessary at this stage," Paul Thompson objected from opposite Liam at the table, to Ms. Chauhan's right. "Enstern has their own strategy resources, and surely Mr. An has other Glacial responsibilities to attend to."

"I appreciate your concerns, Mr. Thompson," Liam said, "but I disagree. Even though we have a variety of logistic partners, Neopac is involved with other orgs in the Group's portfolio. This is beyond Enstern's scale, and partner management is, indeed, one of my Glacial responsibilities."

"That sounds good, Liam," Ms. Chauhan said, "and the Board agrees with your track record. Please keep us updated next week. Back to you, Lee."

Paul sat back on his chair. No one needed Liam's abilities to know he was fuming, but Liam paid the man no mind. He was busy blasting the full wattage of his smile at the fresh but capable Director at the other end of the room, who, to his delight and satisfaction, stumbled over his words for a second and as the presentation resumed, his eyes kept returning to Liam.

II.

The picture his secretary Elizabeth got of this Eddie character did not do the man justice. The lush brown hair matched the dim golden lights inside the Ornament restaurant in a very flattering way. Liam wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through them.

The waiter finished pouring their wine, and disappeared with the menus. Eddie cleared his throat. "Sorry. Yeah, I was saying I'm a compliance officer at a logistics company, don't know if you've heard of them. Neopac?"

Yes, Elizabeth was overqualified. If he could Liam would have got her into the International Hall of Heroes to work as his handler, but he didn't have much sway there, not yet. He was stuck with Jamie instead.

Liam raised a practised eyebrow. "Can't say I have. What do they do?"

"Oh, we're working with a new major supermarket! They're going to open in a year, and it's getting really, really busy."

"Enstern?"

"No no no, the other one, their competitor, ha. BNC, but the consumer name is Bunnies. A much friendlier name I think, what even is an Enstern?"

Eddie was right, and Liam agreed with him. Thing was, the Board was too corporate to let go of that name, but water under bridge, et cetera. Instead, Liam smiled. "That sounds exciting indeed. Please, tell me more."

Three hours later, Liam was running his tongue over Eddie's bare neck, who he got pinned against a wall in an executive hotel suite downtown, panting with eyes glazed over. He took Eddie's stubbled jaw in one hand. The man was ready.

Liam bore his gaze deep, deep into those eyes, and asked without uttering a word.

Who is trying to get Neopac away from Glacial?

"Jake Cassidy," Eddie said breathlessly, then shuddered as if waking. "Wait, what did I just say? Oh my god did I say something stupid?"

Liam pressed his rage down his stomach and his thumb into Eddie's mouth, who shivered at once. He couldn't help but at least smiled; the man was just so responsive. He brushed his lips against Eddie's ear and murmured, "Don't you worry a thing."

~~~

III.

Sabrina lit the last of the candles that crowded the bathroom sink. They looked ridiculous under the fluorescent light, but all of this was part of the ritual. She still did not like the idea of turning her back to the mirror, even if only for a second to turn off the light. But the night was long indeed, and she was only delaying the inevitable.

She turned off the light. The golden haze of the candles adorned her reflection, alone in the darkened room. She breathed quietly into the air:

"Mirror Man, Mirror Man. Come to my mirror, Mirror Man."

The candles snuffed out, though Sabrina felt no air movement. All but a single flame remained against the sudden darkness, and in the mirror where she should be, stood a man. The meagre illumination from the candle couldn't penetrate the blackness that shrouded his face, but still its reflection danced as two golden pinpricks where his eyes should be. She swore if she looked at them long enough, they would bear through the back of her skull, scraping clean every ounce of secret she harboured there; so instead Sabrina averted her gaze, down the black suit that fitted him well. Really well actually; the top button was undone, and that ch—

She cleared her throat. "Th-thank you for coming. I've, uh, modified all the reports, presentations, findings, and all paperwork about the deal. As far as internal BNC records go, the Bunnies work has always been awarded to Melinda Associates instead of Neopac."

The Man in the Mirror tilted his head slightly. A voice rumbled, "Who signed them?"

"A Jake Cassidy. He led an internal effort to pivot Neopac away from Enstern to BNC."

"Why?"

"For a big climb up the ladder, looks like. There's a faction in the company raising alarms on how entangled they have become with this company called Glacial. A holding company, from what I've seen. If Cassidy pulls this off, he will have majority support of the board."

The Man in the Mirror stayed still, and Sabrina didn't know what else to say. That was all she had to do on her end, right? Did she miss anything? But he reached out, his hand breaking through the mirror, rippling its surface like a pond harbouring unseen terrors in its depths. A terror she was in the presence of.

His fingers unfurled, palm up. It was a large hand, with thick fingers. Oh. Right. Sabrina placed a memory stick in his hand, and was surprised. She didn't know why she expected cold skin; it was actually warm, and soft. She added in a hurry, "All the documents I found, both original and, um, amended. They're all in this thing."

The Man in the Mirror turned the stick in his hand as if feeling for something, then withdrew it back into the mirror. Seconds later the hand resurfaced; wrapped around his fingers was the unmistakable glint of a silver necklace threading through a double ring, dangling before her.

Sabrina stared at the thing for what felt like a full minute. The Man in the Mirror kept his hand still as she carefully untangled the necklace from his fingers. By the time she managed to secure it at the back of her neck and again feel the ring's familiar coldness burning against her chest, she cried freely.

"You should not have pawned off something like this."

She nodded. There was no justification she did not already tell herself. There was no reason she found acceptable. She would have to live with her mistakes, and—

"Talk to her. She's miserable. Same time, same park."

She snapped her head up, but the light turned back on. The candle had gone out, and in the mirror was Sabrina again, her own face ruined with tears, but her eyes, for the first time in two long, long years, shone with the unfamiliar glint of hope, her heart tripping mad over the promise of a second chance.

IV.

Jake Cassidy didn't know these alleyways, but he had to try. His lungs burned and his legs wanted to give out, but he could not risk stopping.

"You play too many games, Jake. You crossed too many lines."

The voice rang from somewhere behind him, always behind him. Another street light blew out, and Jake yelped. Things moved just beyond the corner of his eyes, but he couldn't see anything clearly, not without slowing down.

"Help maintain a delicate balance of power in exchange for exoneration, Jake. The terms were clear. And yet you tried to take it for yourself. And spat on my mercy."

An explosive cacophony ruptured his ears, and Jake fell on his knees screaming. Street lights, windows, and trashed glassware shattered around him, and in the darkness glass shards rained and rained and kept raining, like a thousand fingers scratching at him for blood, for bone.

Jake all but slammed his head against the pavement, crying. "Please! I've lost my job! I'm sorry! Please, let me go, I swear I won't—"

Flashes of police sirens broke the silent darkness, and Jake felt his heart dropping to a pit.

Cold, cold lips brushed the tip of his ear, and the voice growled. "I am the Shard Reaper. I collect what is due, and no one. Crosses. Me."

~~~

V.

"Neopac has clarified, calling the situation a misunderstanding," Lee said to the silent Board. "We've received official communication reaffirming their commitment to the Enstern project. Thank you very much for your assistance, Mr. An."

Liam returned the smile. Lee looked mighty fine in navy; in fact, Liam had yet to see the man in anything he didn't like. Paul was stewing resentment in his seat as he always did, but the CEO nodded, looking satisfied.

"Always a pleasure to assist the Group, Mr. Manik," Liam said with a smile, always a smile. "I have nothing but confidence in our future."

[venus-of-the-hrdsell]

It's Hellblazer anon again and I finished it! What an amazing read! There's a thousand positive things I could say about it but instead I'm going to rant at you about those last 50 issues. You once mentioned that Azzerello was your villain origin story....well Milligan is mine. I have never read such dogshit writing in my entire life. The fact that it was Hellblazer's last issues really bloody rubs me the wrong way as well. It was character assassination on a world wide level, no survivors, everyone was annihilated. MY GOD WHAT WAS PETER MILLIGAN THINKING?? John was sooo pathetic and old and obsessed with having a wife?! All he does in those last issues is be obsessed with boring women? Like sweetie don't you have better things to do?? Phoebe was so bland, Epiphany was genuinely the absolute worst and Milligan tried sooo hard to sell us on this weird marriage? He even went as far as to bring back Kit and get John to tell her that he loves this random chick way more than he loved Kit 😭 like wtf, Kit was so important to John, their relationship was so special and Milligan just had to shit all over it just to prove a point? Making Angie a punchline to fat jokes was disgusting and so unnecessary. Holy shit poor bloody Gemma? Everything around what happened with her was so revolting and she deserved so much better. Milligan just couldn't write good John angst so he had to absolutely destroy Gemma's character and I hate him so much for it. Not even Chas could escape the onslaught! John literally left Chas to die, the only reason he saved him is because his passport got rejected, like I'm sorry but John would not let his best mate die?! Also....where did the horror go?? It just turned into the John and Epiphany show where all they did was have sex and talk about how shit everyone else was. Speaking of, words can not describe how much I hate Epiphany. Two dimensional, written way too edgy, and her being that young just felt like Milligan was trying to act out a fantasy. I just.....hated this run with my entire being. So boring, so badly written, lacking substance and I was glad that it ended. Also I have no idea wtf that ending was but I hate Milligan for having that privilege and absolutely fucking it up. He also gets the medal for writing the absolute worst love interests. Sorry that got so long but I had to tell someone! I'm honestly just pretending that none of that was canon. Gemma forgave her uncle and became a doctor, Kit and Angie lived happily ever after, Chas got a cool new car and John got to have a pint. There, fixed it.

(I'm so sorry for answering this so late) but anon I hear you and I FEEL YOU because I was sleepless the night I finished Hellblazer because of HOW BAD those last 50 issues were. It's infuriating that this trash trainwreck had more issues than the good writers Hellblazer had??? Like???

It's genuinely one of the few runs in comics that aren't salvageable for me because it both destroys John as a character, destroys the Hellblazer lore and it's side characters and sends continuity to hell (there's so many errors I can easily list here). It's also incredibly misoginistic by vertigo standards because everyone woman on it either gets disrespected, shamed abused or FRIDGED. And the fact that DC saw the shitty work this writer did on John and was like "this is the PERFECT candidate to write a Constantine lead team Justice League Dark:) "

So my best advice is to do as I do (and Spurrier) and pretend that run doesn't exist. For me, Diggle's run is the perfect conclusion for Hellblazer (this, or the route Lemire took with John on Swamp Thong: Green Hell).