#this sucks sorry i just love codependency

[foxstens]

this is just me but i think andrew and neil miss kevin like a limb after he graduates

[cowlovely]

god…just finished rewatching the under the lake/before the flood two parter and i am soooooo fucking crazy i am. nuclear levels of insane right now.

[kamikazeonwings]

kindof funny to imagine my pre-existing ocs being in wbg... fucking dean pryor playing wbg. what a thought. WOULD HIS MOTHER BE HIS PRIZE? OR HIS DAD? oh if it was his dad he wouldnt even need the fourth challenge he'd kill that man on his own. no actually probably someone from his time working for blu....... interesting thought. oh no do NOT give pryor free access to time travel he'd immediately try to monopolize it. and also get fucking rich. oh my god he could fuck over so many people from his past... MAN. dont give the worst guy ever access to time travel its going to go disastrously. MAN.

[sammyluvr]

first of all I’m blushing cause u said baby (what do you mean it’s a generic name no I’m delulu) and um second of all one of them talked to me in such a condescending way today (but also I made a mistake so I get it but she didn’t have to talk to me like I was 2 ugh)

the only good thing about this job is that I get to help the kids cause it’s like a beginner class so they’re all new to the subject and I wanna help them and I’m so happy when they ask me questions and things

sorry I rambled about this for no reason but I did have a question for you, thoughts on dean? There’s a little hatred of some kind there I can see it, but I wanted to ask why you don’t like him, only if you’re comfortable!!!

— kiss

omg no baby is said with flirtatious intent to make you blush, honey <33

BUT THAT'S SO RUDE ACTUALLY ugh i'm sorry they were condescending :((( but i'm glad that you're feeling like there is something good about the job!! it's awesome that you get to help the kids!!! and don't ever be sorry for rambling, i love to hear it all!!

i also rambled about dean a lot and it's definitely not coherent LOL

as for dean LOL i just have very complicated feelings and i think a lot of my hate/negative feelings are sometimes misplaced in him a little too strongly. i mostly just really really hate the treatment of him versus sam within the fandom :// if we're being honest with ourselves, he's kind of really not a good person sometimes!! and he treated a lot of people really awfully pretty consistently, especially sam. and i think that's part of how fascinating he is as a character!! he's incredibly interesting and i do hold love for him in my heart, not just for his good aspects but for his fucked up parts too hehe <33

it's just that i think he's very often misinterpreted and excused for actions he had full control over (sure, his trauma can explain lots of it, but does not excuse it!!), while sam is often harshly blamed (by both the fandom and by dean) for things he did not have complete or any control over (not saying he's never made a bad decision that he could control. it's just that a core aspect of sam's character and character arc is his lack of autonomy and people will very often literally victim blame him). both sam and dean are very flawed people and have made many many mistakes, my issue is that people both in the fandom and in the show are willing to overlook or excuse or whatever dean's mistakes and flaws but not sam's.

also people pretend like dean is a great brother to sam. he loves sam so much and would do anything for him, yes. they are codependent, yes. sam is not great to him all the time either, yes. but i view lots of dean's treatment towards sam as abusive. i don't think dean ever breaks the cycle of abuse. he is the angry man in the house. he has the power in his relationship with sam, he is the patriarch and perpetuates toxic patriarchal values.

more so than hating him, i think i hate what the fandom has done with him. can't we love him because he's awful??? and can't we recognize that he treats people in pretty awful ways lol. sometimes, he's so very lovely. sometimes, he's a piece of shit. and i love him for it! i'm very dean critical, but i think that my love for him has just been tainted by the way the fandom views him/acts towards him (versus sam especially).

and at the end of the day, as mr. jared padalecki put it, sam winchester is my only concern!! it's all about sam to me <33 i'm completely biased towards him and i love him more, and because i think dean treats him badly, i get angry at dean often! i recognize that i'm 100% biased towards sam and don't always look into nuances because of that. but i try not to actively hate hate on dean for stupid reasons. just reasons where he definitely was in the wrong LOL.

i just think sam deserves so much love and that the fandom hasn't given it to him partially because of the dean bias. i think a lot of people watch the show through dean's eyes, which means blaming sam and blaming mary and blaming cas and whoever he can. and thinking that he's in the right all the time (but wake up!!! dean blames himself too!! he knows he's done wrong, he thinks about it all the time!! he is constantly grappling with and weighed down by the consequences and implications of his actions!! he said so himself!! so let's love him for that too <33)

and also he bothers me sometimes <333 hashtag i love sam hashtag everything is about sam hashtag i just don't care about him as much as i care about sam! <333 lots of love <333 at the end of the day it's not even about him personally it's about sam lmao <33 and that's literally just the way that i enjoy this show the best, is by focusing on sam. i can absolutely be a dean enjoyer at times, i just prefer to completely obsess over sam all the time lol. and it's so completely valid if one enjoys the show the other way around or enjoys them equally <33 or doesn't give a shit about either of them and loves rowena the most, maybe we should all just do that instead <333

[weebsinstash]

I know the show isn't out yet but Stayed Gone is stuck in my head and I'm chugging my yandere Vox juice so hard right now. I think he has the capacity to be absolutely insufferable

---for starters THE SPYING POTENTIAL WITH THIS MAN. You're telling me he can directly plug himself in to the city power grid and see through all televisions, potentially even phones and computers too? Could he put himself on your phone and start going through your texts? Could he even just put himself on your phone real quick while you're sleeping to check in on you? You couldn't even have privacy in your own home because of whatever screens are around he could potentially shoot himself to or watch you through. Imagine just being in your apartment completely alone and he's suddenly on your tv. Like what if you had just been sitting there topless or with your dick out or something or 👀 I mean. He could see so much, really...

---God honestly like. You know I keep mentioning the Instagram without ever attaching pics or anything because I'm on mobile and I'd have to use the hazbin Instagram archive blogs here on tumblr to go find them back like, you know Val would openly post the meanest shit, would literally post Vox's face being busted up because he woke Val up from a nap or i think it was he literally just brought him the wrong soda (which to be fair was taken from Velvet and was half empty), and then you go over to Vox's account and his pic was taping his pieces back on while being really frustrated and kinda lowkey looking like he would cry

Like Val's out here "women are stupid also men are stupid too" and talking about how he adopted a dog and killed it within like 48 hours and here's Vox celebrating his pet's birthday with cake and a party like. Why are these men together. Why. Why. Don't get me wrong I love to be the involuntary third in a toxic codependency but--

look all I'm saying is... do any of you get really really upset when you see someone being mistreated, especially more so a friend of yours?

READER JUST LOSING THEIR SHIT GETTING FERAL ANGRY SHOUTING AND SCREAMING AT VAL BECAUSE HE PULLS SOME SHIT and like that's IT for you because 1. Valentino might like actually backhand you one as well, do you think he wears rings so it hurts, 2. Vox sees you defending him and like, it's based on your own preferences really but if he wasn't already gaga this CEMENTS it and 3. especially if he watches you have to take a blow for trying to stick up for him. Like what if you cry. I have a low pain threshold, I'd be sniveling and crying at the least. Valentino storms off and Vox is helping peel you off the floor cause you curled up into a ball or some shit and he's sitting there thinking "wow they suck at this but they still did it for me 🥺"

---during his song with Alastor, it's a little confusing because they show an actual camera crew when he's turning the TVs on, but i think it's pretty clear that he can control whatever the screens show visually, thus his little zany sketches and being able to talk to himself and at one point, showed the visual of himself blocking the radio Alastor was projecting on right next door. I can just see him using this to kind of.... fuck with you, really! Or do whatever he wants? He's trying to suck up to you and he's surrounded by roses, or you're his co-host/guest host and he thinks your joke was funny and gives a little audience laughter as a treat

Or you know... you're running from him down the street, passing all these different screens and displays as they power on and show things like, him "jumping in front of you" while demanding you stop or, trying to show some kind of blackmail publicly, or just, begging you to just ACCEPT HIM and showing you all the fun things he could do with you, "cmon, I said I was sorry, stop freaking the fuck out! We can- we can do that thing you've always wanted to do, what about that?!" as he tries to project you two doing something fun, but most importantly, doing it TOGETHER. You're running from him terrified and he's showing you images of like you two smiling and happy or, it becomes scarier as he's more desperate

"Don't-don't make me do something fucked up!! I'm serious, STOP RUNNING" and he's like freaking out, showing shit of trying to hold you down, tying you up, and/or shoving you into a locked room

Sudden thoughts of "what if the more emotional and unstable he becomes, the less he can control his intrusive thoughts and shows his more impulsive darker desires". He's tweeking and the screen glitches and you briefly think you see yourself completely restrained, blindfolded, gagged--

---he's just like OBVIOUSLY so prideful but also immature and whiny ("who gives a shit about alastor?" Well you, mr hes just quietly minding his own business and I'LL start beef because i feel threatened and STILL LOSE, like awww my poor little pogchamp got publicly humiliated in an argument HE started out of nowhere, he's my little sad wet baby lmaoooo) and we already know his relationship with Val can become physically abusive, so, you pair him staying in that kind of relationship, being codependent, with this personality of his, and I can just see.... ACTUALLY FUCKING TRIGGERED LIKE LITERALLY CRYING UPSET VOX BECAUSE YOU REJECTED HIM like he's pissed he's hurt he's lonely he's heartbroken and HELL NO IS HE GONNA ACCEPT THIS

Vox would be over here proudly claiming on his TV show that NO HE REJECTED Y O U, not the other way around! He's not upset! He's totally fine! Meanwhile everyone watching can tell this man is manic and visibly hotboxing copium, "I didn't even really like you anyways!!.... no, I mean, shit, fuck, COMMERCIAL BREAK--" *cut to technical difficulties screen because the man is CRYINGGG*

-- Valentino and Reader bonding over teasing Vox and making him flustered and of course, obviously, the inverse. I still kinda like the idea of "they both think you're cute but like nothing exciting until one night they bump into you unplanned and you're all dressed up". Like Val is from the 70s or 80s so they go to a roller rink disco whatever kinda place because I'm sure the coke game there is INSANE and you're just like, swaying your hips spinning around to Let It Whip or September or something dressed in some shorts that make your ass look just right 🤌

You're sneaking back into the studio after a night out and they're both lounging somewhere and Val's like "uhhhh who is THIS coming in without saying hi to Daddy?" and you pull your sunglasses down like "SIR??? 😳" And now HE'S flustered because he didn't know that was you and Vox is feeling some new kinda way because he's used to seeing you in like, your work uniform or casual wear

Val who then makes your work uniform really slutty and you have to serve him and Vox wearing it 😩❤️

---I have this thought of like lmao imagine walking down the sidewalk with Angel and seeing Vox on TV and Angel is like "ya know he can see everything outta dese things when he's plugged in" and you're like "bullshit, he couldn't possibly process that many screens at once, it'd overload his brain, he wouldnt be able to concentrate" and you're like "here I'll prove it, hey Vox, check it out you fucking dweeb" and flash him your bare titties or you MOON HIM

scenario A would be that he INSTANTLY barks out laughing, "hey Val, that dumb slut who brings you drinks just flashed me!" And he just totally shows it on the air, maybe partially censored, maybe not at all, your phone is ringing IMMEDIATELY, of COURSE it's Val, and Vox is broadcasting your mortified embarrassed expression, "our big story tonight: drunk bimbo fucks around and finds out! More updates after this word from our sponsor!" and the man will noooootttttttt stop bullying the fuck out of you afterwards, because he's got a crush on you and you're like someone weaker than him his insecure ass can punch down on

Scenario B is that he instantly turns pink and about 5 seconds later he blue screens and the entire city experiences a blackout and when he comes back on the air he's like stammering and, glancing at, it FEELS like he keeps glancing at you, but, is he really?

------

I dunno... like I'm sure Valentino is gonna wind up being unstable in his own way but I guess there's a certain, ALLURE to Vox being a little bratty and whiny while also having these very VERY handy, actually quite scary abilities and resources 👀 like boy show me what that screen do 😫💦

[flowersforjude]

just a blurb of quiet conversations in the dead of night with finnick when you both can’t sleep?

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫����𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | Finnick Odair x Fem!Reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | Finnick's departure for the Capitol in the morning keeps you both awake well into the night.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 809

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Just angst. Legit nothing else.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 | I love this man so much it hurts! I hope you like where I took this, Anon. It’s a little more angsty than I intended, but I also wrote it while listening to Hozier and that man brings out the pain for some reason. Anyway, thanks for requesting! I’m sorry it took so long!

masterlist

You didn’t know if the moonlight streaming in through the window was what kept you awake or the gnawing reminder of Finnick’s departure. 

He leaves in the morning for the Capitol for the 72nd Hunger Games. It's the second time you’ve had to do this. Watch him leave your home in Four to return to that snake pit. When you won the 70th Games two years ago, Finnick made sure you’d never have to return to the Capitol, not even as a mentor. And while the fact he went up against Snow for you made your hopeless affection for him skyrocket, it was no easy task to be without him for however long the Games lasted each year. 

You had eaten dinner earlier with your hands clasped together atop the dining table. Unable to bear the thought of being separated from him anymore than you had to. You only parted long enough to ready for bed, and then you were tugging his hand to yours again. He’d pulled you close once you were under the blankets, clinging tightly together. But none of it matters because he still has to leave in the morning, and the ticking sound of the clock hanging on the wall was earsplitting. And you still can’t sleep. 

Many would call your codependent relationship with him unhealthy.

It was.

But the only people who couldn’t understand were those who had never been subjected to the horrors of the Hunger Games. 

You're scared for him. Terrified for Finnick Odair of all people. But in the Capitol…you couldn’t even give coherent thought to what he endured each and every time he was there.

“It’s going to be alright.” He’s whispering into the dark. Everything is so dark, even his words of reassurance. Because nothing is alright when you’re not together. And he knows that.

“Finnick-”

“I’ll be home before you even miss me.” 

You press your face farther into the crook of his neck. His attempt at lightening the mood was endearing but unsuccessful. “I hate when you have to go there.” 

 “I know.” His lips find your temple as he speaks against your skin.

“I hate them for what they make you do.” Angry, worried tears threaten to spill, but you’ve cried enough to last lifetimes, so you suck them down.

“I know.” He sighs again. 

When you don’t say anything for a moment too long, he’s switching your positions. He angles his body over yours, and you can still make out the green sea of his eyes. That’s the color you dream of when he is gone. The color you think of to keep yourself grounded when your Games come knocking. 

“Sometimes I think Snow only agreed to me not being a mentor because he knew how much it would hurt to have you leave.” You say, still holding onto the green green green. 

“Sounds like him,” Finnick mumbles. 

“Sometimes I wish you’d never even gone to him about it in the first place.” You say, reaching up to run a finger down the bridge of his nose. “I could be going with you tomorrow.” 

“No.” He said with a harsh shake of his head. “I’d rather die than watch you step foot in that place again.” 

You’re frowning because you don’t like it when he talks about dying in any capacity. “I’d face the Capitol again if it meant staying with you.” 

“I don’t want you there.” He argues, his voice taking a sharp edge to it. “Those people even breathing the same air as you… I wouldn’t be able to think of anything else.” When he threads his fingers through your hair, his touch is nothing short of reverent.

He can feel your anxiety buzzing from within you, you know he can. He’s always been attuned to what you were feeling at any given moment. It was both a blessing and a curse. You feel bad for worrying him, but emotional regulation isn’t something you’re good at now. His fingers still running through your hair is soothing, though. How you went from being just another girl in District Four to being reaped for the Games and winning to laying in bed with Finnick Odair will always be a mystery. 

"I'll be okay," he whispers, his voice barely audible in the darkness. 

“I know.” You reply, tracing his jawline. “I just worry about you when you’re there.” 

He flashes a grin at you that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m Finnick Odair. You don’t have to worry about me.” 

He pulls you to lay down again, holding you tight against him. The ticking of the clock on the wall continues to screech in the background. You feel his breath on your skin as he speaks, his voice soft but firm.

"I'll come back to you," he says. "Just hold onto that thought, okay? Hold onto me."

Feel free to send in more requests! They keep me busy.

[luveline]

Can we get like a roan trying to make reader and Eddie make up after they have been visibly upset at each other (but like quiet arguments/none that roan heard)?????

thank you for your request my love! dad!eddie x fem!reader

You and Eddie don't fight a lot, so when you do it's always over something serious. 

You're sitting in the kitchen with tear stained cheeks trying to put pep back in your step before Roan wakes up, a huge cup of orange juice in front of you and a caffeine pill beside it. You argued pretty much all night, and now it's morning, and you're heartbroken. 

The good news is that the fight is for the most part solved. You're trying not to think about it, residual anger and annoyance and a third, awful something coiling in your gut —Eddie being against you is the worst feeling in the entire world, bar nothing. You can't stand it, and perhaps it's slightly codependent to function that way, but he's the person you love most (beside his dark-haired daughter). You're mad at him and you're also so fucking sorry you upset him, and you hate yourself, and you dislike him a little bit too. 

He's drinking a cup of coffee on the other side of the table. You've made up, but you certainly aren't friendly. If you don't tell each other everything it gets worse and festers into cracks you don't want in your relationship. You plan on dying with him, whenever it happens, he's gonna be by your side. If that means being honest to the point of extreme uncomfortableness, so be it. 

So he told you some things about yourself that had been weighing on him, and vice versa. Fights are fights are fights. They suck no matter what they're about, and they leave you feeling grubby, but Eddie always says sorry, and you say sorry too. 

Roan starts to wake up, the sound of her bed springs creaking from a floor away. You and Eddie both stand like you might go get her, which is foreign 'cos most of the time you sit at the table waiting for her. You pretend you'd been meaning to make her breakfast and Eddie curls his hand around the top of his chair as she descends the stairs and walks down the hall to the kitchen.

"Hello," Roan says, practically skipping up to the table. "Good morning! I'm missing one of my socks and um, think it fell down my bed." 

"Yeah?" Eddie asks. 

"We'll find it," you say. 

"Good. What's wrong?" 

She's deceptively smart. 

"Uh, nothing," Eddie says.

Roan climbs up onto her chair with the big cushion. She looks like she might fall. Eddie puts his hands around her waist to prevent any concussions, popping a kiss on her pale cheek. 

"It's too quiet," she insists. 

You flick on the radio and pass over a bowl of cereal for Roan. She likes something Eddie nicknamed 'rainbow cereal', which is all the cereals you buy mixed into one bowl. It doesn't need sugar, but you pretend to put some in there to keep her appeased. 

She stays standing. 

Eddie asks her to sit, and she grumbles and doesn't bother. Sometimes it's better to let her do whatever harmless thing she wants to do rather than start a fight, and you're both clearly much too tired to try. Eddie holds her waist and drops kisses into the top of her head intermittently. You sip your orange juice until it's empty, the radio chugging along in the background. 

"Did I do something?" Roan asks, four spoonfuls in, a frown on her little face. 

"No, baby, we're just tired. Why do you think you did something?" 

"Why are you tired?" she asks, ignoring Eddie's question. 

"We stayed up later than usual by accident. 'Cos we didn't have someone put us to bed." 

"Ask Wayne," she says. She takes another mouthful of cereal, milk sloshing all over the place. 

"Good idea. We'll ask Wayne," you say. 

She's convinced for a time, but breakfast ends, and neither of you know what to do after. It's a Saturday, which might explain the size of the argument. Friday is the most tiring day of the week, every week. Saturdays are empty. You might go see Wayne tonight, but beside that there's nothing planned. 

Roan senses a lack of enthusiasm in the living room.

"Did something bad happen?" she asks. 

"Baby, no," Eddie says, turning down her cartoons a touch. "Nothing happened, I promise. Everything is okay." 

"I don't feel well," she says, and collapses into his lap dramatically, instantaneous dead weight. 

She doesn't understand the anxiety she's feeling. You understand at the very least, so you meet Eddie's eyes and mouth, "Can I tell her? No details." 

He nods. "Sure," he says aloud. "If you want to, go for it." 

He speaks without attitude. You slide closer on the couch, arm pressed to Eddie's, and can't resist the urge to stroke an unruly strand of hair from his cheek. You pause, and then you kiss his cheek. He turns his face to yours and taps your noses together.

You smile, reassured, and squeeze his bicep. 

"Me and Dad had an argument," you confess. 

Roan looks up from his lap. "What?" 

"We had a fight. We didn't agree about something, so we were fighting, and now we're tired because it's hard when you love someone and you want to be on the same page." You blow out a big breath. "But we made up." 

"Doesn't feel like it," Roan says, pushing herself up using both arms. "You're not cuddling or anything." 

"Uh, well…" 

"We haven't had time," Eddie says. 

"Do it now," Roan advises, scrambling backward out of Eddie's lap. 

You're not a wimp, you put yourself under Eddie's arm, and he wraps you up by the shoulder, and you're both kind of stiff but at least Roan isn't worrying she did something wrong. In fact, she looks pleased. She lets Eddie take her hand and doesn't complain when he gives it three big squeezes in a row. 

"You didn't do anything wrong," you say, "you know? It's me that made the mistake, Ro." 

"Me too," Eddie says. 

"Well, mistakes are okay. I make mistakes all the time," Roan says. 

Eddie drops his cheek into the top of your head, defeated and tired and, maybe, maybe maybe maybe, he's happy too. He relaxes slowly, and you let yourself do the same, your arm held across his waist and your fingertips sliding underneath his t-shirt. You feel his skin mindlessly, cool and smooth under your touch, and figure that the fighting has been worth it if it means you get to do this again. 

"Sorry, Eds," you mumble. 

"I'm sorry too," he says back. "I was feeling like a dick yesterday."

"Me too," you say with a laugh. 

Eddie nudges your head with his nose until he can kiss your jaw, a series of chaste, quick pecks. His affection is a blessing. You tilt your head and he makes a disbelieving Yeah? kind of sound, snorting before he tracks kisses up to your cheek and down again. 

Roan jabs her arm with her toes as she stands on Eddie's thigh and hugs him. "See? That was easy." 

You both turn to her with similar motivation. "Super easy," you agree, as Eddie says, "You're right. Thanks, baby." 

"Welcome! Can we find my sock now? My toes are cold." 

You both laugh at her, sympathy and bemusement mixed together. "Oh, babe. We can find you some socks, I'm sorry." 

You stand up and swing her into your arms simultaneously, pleased when she wraps her legs around you and cheers in victory. You're not surprised when Eddie stands up behind you, resting his hand between your shoulders. 

"How about we get dressed? It's Saturday. We can go somewhere, maybe we can go into Indy and have All-American?" Eddie asks.

"Burgers?" Roan asks. 

You laugh into her hair. That's the plan for the day decided —Roan has a one track mind when it comes to cheeseburgers. And she should have what she wants. She saved your Saturday with time to spare.

—

more eddie, roan and reader

[nightcolorz]

I stumbled on your blog and i love it sm!!

Its so weird, because i am a huge Marius fan, and you put many reasons why he is my absolute favorite character as things why he SUCKS! Its so cool to me, to read something so accurate and then have someone put out a completely different opinion on it! (i do not think he is Good, none of them are. But i think he is cool, his better qualities resonate with me the most of all the characters, i love lore, and i love reading about him the most)

There are few things, that i do not understand and it bothers me endlessly! I just can't figure out where some readings come from, very sinserely (because i want to respect other readings and interpretations), maybe you could help me understand?

First: that Marius dislikes being challenged and tries to "keep Armand to himself"(generalizing) - as i read it, Marius prefers people who challenge him, can stand up to him. All of his paramours are like that - Pandora, Bianca, Armand, Lestat, Daniel..even Botticelli actively defy him, in a way other characters don't and Marius himself is vocal on that being something he admires about them. He does not know how to deal with that, oh no, but he loves it - the fire he himself does not possess. He also actively helps Armand learn about his culture and family, ready to be left behind when they visit Kievan Rus. He also never shows any type of concern about Armands "daytime" personal connections. As i remember, he encourages it decpite objections, actually.. My personal reading is that most drama and abuse between Marius and Armand is about Marius refusing the codependency Armand desperatly wants. (and them being oppisitely unhealthy about that)

Second: there is a notion, that Marius would not want Armand to grow up? And i do not understand where it comes from at all... Marius actively states (and thinks) that his own wish is to see Armand grown into a Man and he refuses time and time again to turn him before then (or to turn him at all) , until Armand is on the deaths door. (i also saw a thing about shaving, but all of them are shaved before the turning as an old ritual, canonically, i believe, only Santino is unshaved so. I might be wrong tho lol. One of canon reasons (again, if my memories are not faulty) - facial and body hair might go in and out of style, so clean shave helps them blend in better)

I you would spare some time to let me understand where those come from i would be forever grateful, because i sometimes think i am blind (and i might be! Thats why i ask. I am a bit scared that i might be percieved in bad faith, but if i have a blindspot i will not see it myself, so getting outside help is the only way haha)

I hope you have a great day! Thnx for the very least reading my ask!

(this is going to be slightly shorter then I initially wanted it to be bcus I wrote a whole essay and tumblr DELETED IT, so I’m so sorry ur going to get a condescend version of my thoughts 😰 I hope they still make sense, anyways)

Thank u sm anon ur so nice omg 🥹❤️ it makes me so happy that u like my blog!!! Don’t worry at all about coming off as bad faith u only come off as respectful and curious to me. I’m going to answer ur questions the best I can! 🙏

I think that the reason a lot of my Marius posts seem to contradict parts of canon is bcus Marius is a very self contradictory character. His wants are often in conflict with each other, and in his relationship with Armand he is always warring between conflicting desires.

First: I definitely agree that Marius seeks out people who challenge him and does rlly enjoy it (to an extent lol). but the way I perceive it, marius likes to be challenged *to an extent*. He doesn’t want a partner who will be weak and docile with him, he wants a partner he’ll need to fight into being docile and he wants to loose that fight<3.He prefers someone with some fire in them, clearly, based on his choice of lovers lol. And I think this is bcus Marius likes the chase, like any vampire. He likes the thrill of being with someone who makes him hurt for it a little bit, he likes fighting and arguing and struggling to stifle a spark he knows is too bright to put out. But also, like most ppl lol, Marius likes to be challenged only so much as he isn’t challenged to the point of having to change himself. He doesn’t want to change his perspective, whenever a partner of his gets him to rethink how he thinks or acts he tends to get rlly mad. He wants to be challenged as long as it’s fun, if he’s uncomfortable or feeling like he might actually adopt a new perspective or change as a person he puts a stop to it. At the end of the day he needs that teacher and student or master and subordinate dynamic to stay in tact. He likes to be challenged but he doesn’t like to be weakened or caught off guard in anyway that makes him question his authority or his strength.

When it comes to Marius helping Armand rediscover his culture, yas! This actually is a good transition bcus this is also a good example of what I’m talking about when it comes to the being challenged thing. Marius is happy and eager to help Armand heal from the demons of his past by rediscovering the family and culture hes forgotten, so long as Armand is obedient and answering to his call at the end of the day. Marius is happy to be left on the sidelines, up until armand starts disregarding his authority and moving away from him on his own path. After coming home from Kiev Armand realizes that he doesn’t gain anything from learning from Marius and he would rather learn on his own by discovering himself and processing what this new culture means to him. And Marius let’s him have this, until he realizes that he’s loosing his control over Amadeo and he is not going to come back to him without a push, and he beats the absolute shit out of him 😭 again, challenged to an extent.

Second: when marius first buys Armand he explains in blood and gold that part of why he chose Armand was bcus he wanted a vampire companion in Bianca, but he felt too guilty to turn Bianca bcus she was a bright young woman with a future ahead of her, so he chose Armand to be his future vampire companion instead bcus Armand was broken enough to not have a chance of a future anyway (therefore turning him is guilt free). Then, marius learns very quickly that Armand could easily have a future just as bright as Bianca, once he’s under his care he starts to prosper, and he realizes that turning him into a vampire would be equally as cruel as turning Bianca. So his motive changes, and he decides that his desire to turn Armand is wrong and he should instead give him the chance to live a full human life just like any of the other boys. Marius wants this bcus he knows that it’s the right thing to do, to give up the person he loves for their own good. But it’s also, deep down, not what he wants at all, bcus it agonizes him to think of a future where he doesn’t have Amadeo. So this creates this self contradictory mess, where Marius is aiming both at the same time to turn Armand into a vampire and also to let him live a human life. He starts doing contradictory things, like feeding Armand his blood and exposing him to vampirism + getting him hooked on it, and then sending him out to “experience humanity” bcus that’s what Marius wants for him.

It caused Armand to be driven absolutely insane, bcus he’s being communicated two different things about what Marius wants for his future. I think Marius’s conflicting desire causes part of Armand’s desperate begging for him to turn him. Armand is so fed up with this mind melding conflict he just wants Marius to rip the band aid off and do it 😭 cuz they both know it’s what they both want. And Marius knows that this is the terrible abusive option, and he can’t get Armand to see this bcus Armand is too far deep in his love brain.

So my answer is, Marius wants Armand to grow up bcus he knows that’s what’s best for him, but he continues to hold out on the possibility of vampirism and refuses to cut ties with Armand bcus he rlly does want to turn him against his better judgement, which in my opinion reads as a desire to keep him young, under his control, in that limbo stage where he doesn’t need to make a decision. Partly bcus if Armand is young and compliant and his body isn’t changing the clock isn’t ticking and Marius doesn’t have to confront that his choices r either loose Amadeo or ruin him.

when it comes to the “shaving Armand was part of a vampire ritual” personally I don’t remember that? It’s not that I don’t believe u, that could totally be accurate and it definitely sounds like smth that would be canon, but I’m struggling to remember if I read that and forgot. I’ve always perceived the Marius shaves Armand cuz he wants to preserve his youth thing as accurate bcus it’s interesting and makes sense for the characters and I don’t remember anything that contradicts it lol, I also don’t remember any other character being shaved pre turning as a ritual besides Armand so I didn’t consider if it was a vampire thing. but u could be right and if so oops I’m sorry for spreading misinfo 😭 but either way that’s still gonna be my headcanon and my interpretation is much the same lol

I hope u have a great day anon and find this interesting ❤️ thank u for the ask!

[darlingmbappe]

The Loneliest [2] | Kylian Mbappé x Fem Reader

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Epilogue]

Summary: The transition period after calling off your engagement has broken both you and Kylian. He needs to have you back, but you can’t handle having your heart broken again.

Warnings: pure angst, heartbroken reader, heartbroken Kylian, cussing, lots of crying. I switched perspectives between the reader and Kylian. — English is not my first language —

Kylian had racked up quite a large amount late fees the following month after your breakup. He never used to have issues going to sleep at night or waking up to go to training before this, but he just let himself scroll through his camera roll for hours on end.

He would emerge himself in that reality, smiling, giggling whenever your digital image did something goofy. He remembered which outfits he helped you pick out, fixating his thoughts on the ‘K’ necklace that he gave you shining around your neck in every frame. Then, due to the fault of a notification or a car alarm going off, he would snap back into the reality of his new life.

These are just memories now. He wouldn’t be able to take your picture again, hear your grainy morning voice, make your coffee so perfectly that you’d hum in gratitude.

Achraf knew about the breakup, but Kylian asked him to keep it hush since he didn’t feel like talking about it most of the time. Some nights, though, he finds himself on the phone with his mother without thinking about the fact that it’s past 2 o’clock in the morning. She (of course) picks up every time, being there for her little boy with a broken heart, her own heart breaking with the thought of you not coming around anymore.

Today, he made it to training just on time, barely smiling at the PSG camera crew that follows them around. Usually if somethings bothering him, football is his medicine. He goes out, distracts himself by making goals and perfect tackles, but it wasn’t until you were gone that he realized he needed you there to bring it all together. He hated how codependent he had become, sometimes subconsciously wishing he’d never met you at all. Maybe then his heart wouldn’t feel like it was being ripped out piece by piece.

“Okay, seriously?” Glatier grunted, blowing the whistle after Kylian had missed yet another easy goal. “Kylian!” He called over. Kylian cussed under his breath and jogged over to the frustrated coach, his teammates just as frustrated with him for his performance recently. “What the hell is going on with you? Where’s your head at?!”

Kylian looked at his feet, hands resting on his hips. “Sorry, coach.”

“No, not ‘sorry’, Kylian. You’ve been somewhere else for weeks. I need you to explain yourself before we start benching you.”

Kylian bit his cheek, still focused on the pitch under his feet, begging his body to suck the lingering tears back in. He looked up at his awaiting coach, nodding. “There’s no excuse, coach. I’m right here, I’ll do better.”

Glatier looks at him apprehensively, expecting to hear how the pass wasn’t placed right or some other bullshit that Kylian used to blame his shortcomings on, but notes that something is definitely off with the star player. “Alright, then.” He says, keeping eye contact, blowing the whistle twice, sending everyone to do a different drill.

Kylian sniffles as he runs back toward his team, Hakimi pats him on the back upon seeing his glossy eyes.

You had been a mess yourself, occupying yourself with your own job. Coworkers started calling you a hard ass once you decided to take charge of the group meetings, having to have control of something ever since your love life vanished. They were also oblivious to the fact of you and Kylians breakup, feeling as if the news was better off left to his PR team.

You’d settled nicely into the hotel life, enjoying complimentary breakfasts and free valet parking, but finally found a move-in ready apartment close to the office. It’d been a nightmare having your entire life packed into your car, taking up every ounce of room you had in there. There were times you convinced yourself that you were fine, but realized it was just a lie every night when you popped a sleeping pill and craved looking into Kylians eyes. You resorted back to his Instagram so often, clicking the same post every time.

The night you left, Kylian posted something for your birthday. At first, you ignored the notification, deleting the app altogether. That lasted about an hour. You redownloaded it once your curiosity took control of your body, having to know what the hell your newly-ex fiancé tagged you in. You assumed at some point he’d take it down, but it’s been thirty four days and it’s still the last thing on his feed.

You laid in the neatly made hotel bed, your fingers doing their own thing, rereading his caption until you heard your heart crack — like it did every time you found yourself here.

@k.mbappe: To the love of my life; you’re the best things that’s ever happened to me. Sometimes I can’t even believe how lucky I got. Getting to know you and getting to love you was the biggest privilege of my whole life. I hope this year gives you everything you need. I will love you always. — Ky.

You think back to the night that photo was taken a lot. It was at Neymar’s New Years Eve party, a few months before he proposed. Kylians hand was permanently attached to your waist. He looked at you every time something funny was said, wanting to laugh with you. He bragged about your accomplishments to everyone there — as if anyone in the room wasn’t more impressive than you, seeing models and athletes around every corner. At some point, you’d lost him and the clock was ticking down, five minutes until midnight. As you turned down a hallway, you heard his voice coming from one of the rooms.

“She’s the one.” Kylian stated, a giggle following right after. You never meant to eavesdrop on him but now you had to — back pressed against the wall as you tipped your ear closer to the open door.

“Man, she’s awesome.” Neymar’s voice responded.

“I know. I can’t ever stop smiling.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s creepy.” They both laugh, you bit your lip to keep yourself from squealing. Neymar continues. “You deserve someone great like her.”

Kylian pauses, you wait for him to say something. “What if I fuck it up?”

You feel your heart tug at his insecurity, but stop yourself from running in there and kissing him until the silly thought leaves his head. “You won’t. I can tell that she loves you a lot. Just, show her how you feel about her every day and you can’t fuck it up.”

The lull in the conversation gives you time to skip into the room. They both look at you and smile, Kylians eyes shining with love as you make your way to sit on his lap by the window.

“There you are.” You kiss his crinkled cheek. “Been looking for you. It’s almost midnight.”

He hums and pulls you closer to him.

“Aww!” Neymar teases in an exaggerated tone, standing from his place and whips out his phone, snapping a candid picture of the two of you. “What a cute couple.”

You quickly closed the app, throwing your phone far away from you on the bed.

“Fuck that.” You cried, stuffing your face in the mattress to collect your tears. You were so angry at him, but you wanted to talk to him. Slap him. Kiss him. Make him regret everything.

Your feelings have never been so crossed in your life. Of course you knew ending your relationship would be hard, but not debilitating. You didn’t expect to have to find new ways to not think about Kylian. How are you going to do this forever? Will this crippling coldness ever leave you alone? The signs all point to Kylian, but you don’t even know if he’ll be up to talking.

Blocking his number was an easy decision. While you were confident that you made the right move at the time, it doesn’t feel that way anymore. You reached back and grabbed your phone, settling down and wiping any remaining tears from your face.

The amount of times you’ve unblocked Kylian probably has broken some sort of record. You’ve been to really low places in the past few weeks, but the fake it ‘till you make it mantra somehow found it’s way into your system, hearing it buzzing in your ears like an annoying fruit fly.

Clicking the unblock button was simple. Trying to find something to say was beyond difficult.

You typed and backspaced and typed and backspaced until you were ripping your hair out. It was either too weird or too forward, but all of it was too scary.

Almost half an hour had passed, still trying to manage some sort of communication with him. Everything felt wrong, maybe today wasn’t the day. Just as you were about to reblock him, your phone buzzed.

Kylian: hello?

Shit. Of course he decided to text you right when you unblock him.

While you were freaking out about this turn of events, Kylian was holding his breath. When he saw the three dots appearing and disappearing on his phone screen over and over again, he felt like he struck gold. He just needed some way back into your life. And although small, this was an opportunity he couldn’t ditch out on.

You stared at the message, trying to take deep breaths. You should be chill. You’d texted Kylian a gazillion times in your life, but considering the circumstances, panic seemed fitting.

“Okay, (Y/N). Pull it together.” You mumbled to yourself, clearing your throat.

(Y/N): hi

You sent the message quick with no time to think twice. You facepalmed, now overthinking those two little letters. You waited impatiently for his reply. He was taking too long for your liking, but the time displayed at the top of your screen hadn’t moved. Not even a minute passed before he said something back.

Kylian: so you decided to unblock me?

Kylian: how are you?

He didn’t give you a chance to really respond to his first question, so it was easy to ignore it. But the second question had much more weight behind it.

How are you? Really?

You were tempted to type back ‘like my soul was sucked out and repeatedly backed over by a semi truck full of loaded diapers’, but that seemed like a bit much.

(Y/N): I’ve definitely been better.

You waited again, wondering if you should ask him how he’s doing, too. You saw the typing bubbles, but they disappeared. Once, twice, three times until he finally messaged back.

Kylian: did you want to talk?

You sighed, throwing your head back and staring at the ceiling. Fuck. Why did he have to ask that? Of course you wanted to talk — but this seems like the beginning of a very slippery slope. Going back to him was exactly what you wanted. You wanted to take him back and hug him and kiss his stupidly plump lips until you couldn’t anymore.

At the same time, you’re so vulnerable right now. You knew that taking him back this quickly would definitely cause an issue; whether it just be second guessing yourself or realizing you were wrong, and leaving him twice was something your heart absolutely could not handle.

Kylian: im sorry if that was too forward

You didn’t realize how long you were lost in thought for. You looked down at the message taunting you in your lap, sighing.

You: no, it’s fine.

You: when are you free?

You didn’t know it, but Kylian, Hakimi, and Ramos all jumped up and cheered when you sent that message. They shook his shoulders around in excitement, all too invested in the young couples relationship.

“Vamos!” Screamed Ramos, hugging the group.

“Okay, okay, shut up!” Kylians smile wrinkled his eyes shut for the first time in forever, sitting back down on the training bench.

Ramos happened to walked by when Kylian was crying to Hakimi, which Kylian was super embarrassed about, but Ramos was a genuinely good friend of the two of you, so now he felt personally affected by this breakup.

“Come on, quickly. What do I say?”

“That you are free tonight. Dios mío.” Ramos tusked like it was the most obvious thing in the world… and it was.

Kylian: tonight after training?

Kylian: I can pick you up, we can go get some dinner?

(Y/N): how about I just meet you at the training center?

There was no way you’d allow for this to be a date. If you let him wine and dine you, your heart would melt into a puddle that spelled out his name.

Kylian: perfect, cant wait

Kylian: I’ll see you later

You smiled down at your phone, putting a thumbs up to his last message and shut it off. Allowing your smile to finally spread across you face, you breathed out a giant huff that weighed down your lungs.

The happiness passed quickly, your mind remembering the way he was before. Aloof, distracted, snappy… You we’re still holding onto the old Kylian. The one that took you on spontaneous picnics, the one who would pull over on the side of the highway on his way home and hand-pick you a bouquet because the wildflowers looked pretty, the one that never forgot to kiss you goodnight, even if he was already asleep when you crawled in next to him.

The expectations for tonight were all over the place. Your mind raced with the possibilities of how it would end. Would you lower you walls for him again? Are you even capable of that? He hurt you down to your core, his actions broke you down into an insecure shell of yourself.

The end of the day came, and by now, the word had spread to the rest of the team about the breakup. Glatier patted Kylian on the back in sympathy, giving him a wise coach speach about life and love — one that didn’t really help Kylian. It was actually rather confusing. Nonetheless, he thanked his elder, mentally noting it’s best if he just sticks to coaching football.

Neymar was shaken by the news, having taken a liking to you early on in your relationship with Kylian. When he asked Kylian what was bothering him so much lately, he breathed out a heavy, “nooo!”. Comforting his teammate felt nostalgic for them both because their own relationship went through a sort of breakup at one point.

Kylian felt the end of the day inching closer and closer. He didn’t know what he was going to do when he saw you. It was important for him that he doesn’t say anything to scare you away. He wants you to see that he’s sorry and that he’s ready to prove it to you. He wants to make you laugh, make you remember that he is capable of making you happy again.

Kylian smelled better right now than he ever did after practice. He scrubbed like a maniac, fixing his hair with precision, shaving and applying after shave. He finished off with some cologne that Verratti suggested, a cool jacket that Kimpembe let him borrow. He drew the line when Sergio came for his eyebrows with tweezers, doing a nervous final check in the full length mirror. Breathing deep, he opens up his messages.

Kylian: im almost done :)

Kylian: let me know when ur here

He watched the screen, waiting for you to respond with anything. The three dots popped up again, halting his breathing when your message appeared.

(Y/N): I’m here. Come meet me by the maintenance entrance.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was rushing out of the locker room with anticipation taking over his veins, his knuckles turning white against the material of his duffle bag. He felt like he was going to throw up from nerves, but the good kind of nerves — the kind he has before an important match.

Where you were meeting him was his little hidden area. The maintenance crew got an upgraded break room with a patio, so no one ever came out this way, leaving the picnic tables open for when he needed a sneaky break. He brought you out here multiple times when you came and visited, always insisting on making out before he would go back inside.

This door always got stuck. He remembers having to shoulder it every time. He prepared himself, stepping back before lunging his body forward. Next thing he knows, he’s landed on the cold cement, letting out a loud “oof” when he went down.

“Oh my god!” He heard your sweet voice from a distance, looking up and seeing you, sideways from his position. The wind was already knocked out of him, but wow, watching you running in his direction took his breath way. “Are you okay?”

He got himself up when you approached him, he brushed himself off cooly. “When the hell did they oil that door?” Kylian points.

You stare at him before you let a small laugh bubble out, immediately getting Kylian to join in. He scratches the back of his neck, embarrassed by his less than cool entrance, but mentally checks off the make her laugh box in his head.

Damn, he looks good, you thought to yourself. You kept it at bay, but you noticed how he cleaned up extra nice, tugging at your heartstrings. You can’t lie, you also spent way too long on your appearance.

“Hello,” he smiles, raking his eyes adoringly over your frame. He didn’t even notice himself inching closer to you, but you did. It made you hot under the collar just being around him again. You’d been away from him longer than a month before, but this was hard.

You gulp. “Hi.”

He set his duffle bag down on the picnic table. You had his full attention, every word he’s wanted to say to you just on the tip of his tongue. You made your way over to the bench and slowly sat down, him following suit, sitting a little closer than you wanted him to.

You scooted away slightly. “Let’s talk.” You say. He nods, turning his body toward you. “I have to be at work soon so I can’t stay long.”

His leg bounces. “Can I start?”

“Okay.”

His gaze locked on your delicate hands, wanting nothing more then to hold them tightly. He breathed deep, his nerves felt electric in his veins. “I know I don’t deserve a second chance. I fucked up and realized it too late. I should have noticed, but I didn’t. And I’m so sorry for that. For everything.” His words were slow and gentle, his eyes not knowing where to look as they bounced from your eyes to you hands to your lips, then back to your eyes again. “I’m miserable without you. I miss you. I miss you so fucking much, (Y/N).”

You sigh. “I miss you too, Kylian. Believe me, this hasn’t been easy for me, either. But, I’m not here to get back together with you. I can’t let myself do that.”

“Why?”

“Because…” You really wished you planned this talk out better because right now, you were letting your emotions run on autopilot. Yet, you kept your logical side steady on the breaks in case your heart decided it needed his comfort more than it needed peace. “Because, Kylian. I just can’t.”

You felt the anger inside of you rising to the surface. You stood up and began pacing. Kylian stood too, but his feet were frozen in place.

“You know, I didn’t even know you still loved me until I was leaving?” You stated, facing his ashamed demeanor. He opened his mouth to respond but you didn’t let him. “You made me feel like shit. For months. You drove this… this weird insecurity in me that was never there before. I couldn’t even talk to you about it because you’d just spin it on me. Do you know how shitty that feels?”

His head hung low, guilt overriding his every sense. For whatever reason, he had high expectations for how this was going to go, and it’s already not at all how he thought. “No, I don’t. I’m sorry. You never deserved that.”

“You’re fucking right, I didnt.” You snapped, brows knit tightly in anger. “Why did you change? What happened? What did I do to you that made you so angry at me?”

Kylian opened and closed his mouth, stuttering. “I…” Seeing the tears gloss your eyes brought his own forward, but he bit them back. “… I don’t know. Nothing, you did nothing wrong.”

You stared at him, sighing. You ran a hand over your cheeks once you felt some stray tears run down your face. Nodding, you sat back down, Kylian cautiously joined you further down the bench. His elbows were on his knees, eyes facing the pavement. Silence used to be comfortable with Kylian. You two could sit together for hours and not say a word, and it would feel so natural. Now, the air was thick with tension, every depressing emotion running full speed inside your loud mind.

“You remember that benefit dinner we went to in November? The one held by that super rich Fortune 500 guy?” You asked softly, breaking the silence. “That week was when I started doubting if we were even good together anymore. You hadn’t payed attention to me, touched me, listened to me in weeks. I thought it was me. That I was somehow fucking up everything we had.” Kylian listened through the sound of his pounding heart, not daring to look up. He could hear in your voice how deeply upset you were, he couldn’t take the look on your face. “I tried talking to you about it that morning. I was going to ask if you wanted to take a break… have some time to ourselves. Instead, you just turned it into a fight about me leaving the dishwasher open, or some shit like that. I ended up apologizing to you.” You chuckled, but it really wasn’t funny.

Kylian remembered, having been stressed about his difficult new physical therapy sessions. He took out his frustrations on you unfairly, but he didn’t realize that he was doing that until it was too late.

You continued. “I dressed up so nice for you that night. I wore that gorgeous blue dress you got for me, heels that absolutely killed my feet, I got my hair and makeup done by real professionals… I thought maybe I could at least get you to want me again. But, all night long, you pretty much ignored me. You only smiled at me when other people were around and you didn’t want to look like a dick. I loved it, though. It felt like the old days, when you would actually smile when I was around.”

His lip quivered, still not being able to lift his head toward you. You wanted to keep going, but knew what you were going to say next was going to hurt him and it was never about getting even. You didn’t want to put him through what he made you feel. Reluctantly, you knew you had to tell him. You had to do it for you.

“That whole night, you kind of ignored me. I had the thought that you wouldn’t even notice if I disappeared… so I did. I was on the balcony for like, an hour. All by myself. Watching you from the outside to see if you started looking for me, and you never did.” You paused to take a breath, fiddling with your thumbs. “I didn’t think I would ever tell you this, but what do I have to lose, right?” He looked up, eyes red. You looked away. “It wasn’t on purpose, but… that night, Erling Haaland and I had a great time.” You locked eyes with him when he shifted, his whole demeanor changing from apologetic to full protection mode.

“What? What do you mean?” He attempted to keep his voice clear of obvious anger, but you knew him too well.

“No, no. Not like that.” You clarified. “He came out there for a breather and saw me. I don’t think he knew who I was or that we were together—”

“Bullshit.” He mumbled, but you ignored him.

“We just laughed and talked about the last season. Nothing happened, I wouldn’t do that to you.” You weren’t going to mention how he asked for your number at the end of the night because that would send him into a spiral. “Look, I’m not telling you this to be cruel, or anything, but it’s just an example of how alone I felt… that I would spend an entire night talking with Erling Haaland of all people. He payed more attention to me that night than you did for months. It made me remember how much fun we used to have. It made me realize that you might not be that person for me anymore.” Your voice wobbled and Kylian squeezed his eyes shut, forcing his tears back in with a sharp and deep breath.

He couldn’t believe you never told him about this, but reminded himself that he wouldn’t let you. He was too cold, too defensive.

“I promise you, (Y/N) — even if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll get you back.” He swore through his wavering voice, still attempting to hold back his cries. You saw his twitching face, surfacing your own emotions.

You couldnt hold it back anymore, placing your face in your palms, letting the sobs go freely. “You’re a stupid fucking dickhead, Mbappé.” It was vulgar, but it’s just what shot out of your mouth.

Kylian knew he deserved that and more, just nodding at the new nickname, beginning to let himself cry as well. “I’m gonna change. If you let me show you, I’ll never stop proving to you how much I love you.” He grabbed your hand, tightly grasping it and kissing your knuckles.

“I think…” you sniffle, watching Kylian as he squeezed your hand in his, resting it on his face. “I think I need more time, Kylian.”

Immediately he nods, scooting closer to you. “We have time, baby. I’ll wait for you to be ready. I don’t care how long it takes.”

You and Kylian continue to cry, together. This kind of vulnerability is what you’ve been craving from him, this is the kind you had before.

“Kylian, I can’t handle having my heart broken again.” You choke. He holds you close now, forehead resting on the side of your head.

“I won’t ever be that person again.” He promised, sniffling. “I’ve never hurt this badly before. I’m not putting either of us through this torture again.”

You nod, wiping your tears and trying to calm down a little before standing up, leaving Kylian sitting alone on the bench.

“If I’m even going to entertain the idea of getting back together… we’re starting over completely. Right from the start.” You point, feeling yourself stop crying and using your sleeve to get rid of any proof that you were an absolute trainwreck.

He nods, standing up. “Okay. I can do that.” It looks like a burst of good energy just shot it’s way into his body, but the nervous demeanor stood above it, cautiously watching your every move.

“This doesn’t mean we’re getting back together. I need to know it’s the right decision. It’s too hard.”

“Of course. I’ll do anything.” You can tell Kylian is holding back from hugging you by the way his feet tap toward you, his body swaying in your direction.

You look him over, breathing in the crisp air. “Okay.” You check your watch, noticing you’ll be late if you don’t leave in the next five minutes. “I have to go now.” You say, nodding an awkward goodbye to Kylian; hugging felt like it would be weird… a handshake even weirder.

“Wait.” He stops you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder and quickly pulling it back. “Am I allowed to ask you on a date now?”

You chuckle, a real one this time. “Um. Let’s wait a couple of weeks. I need some more time to process all of this. Besides, I’m moving on Friday so I’ll be pretty busy unpacking, so…”

He’s taken aback, quirking an eyebrow and trying to not looked too freaked out. “Wait… moving? Where?”

“Some place I found. It’s fine… close to the office.” You honestly didn’t love it, but it was cute. It had character. “The hotel life was getting too expensive.”

“Let me pay for that–”

“No. Non-couples don’t do that.” You say, checking the time again, walking backwards toward you car. “Look, I really have to go. Wait for me to text you, alright?”

He nods, watching your figure disappear in the dark parking lot. “I will.”

He didn’t take his eyes off your car until it was out of his sight, turning back the way he came in.

The time has come for him to cheer, celebrate, tell all of his friends… but he won’t. He might’ve managed his way back into your life, but he’s nowhere near out of the woods yet. Everyone knows how embarrassing early celebrations are, especially when they they miss the goal in the end. He’s not making that mistake. He’s just grateful for the new opportunity to prove to you that it’ll be worth it… that he’s worth it. You’ll be treated better than ever… as soon as you’re comfortable with him again.

So, no celebration for Kylian Mbappé… not counting the giddy grin and small fist pump he did when he was alone in his car.

He couldn’t stop himself. He really couldn’t.

[hbyrde36]

STWG Drabble 9/30/23

Prompt: Drunk talk

It was 2am, and Steve was sitting on the kitchen floor huddled around the phone, gripping the handset like it was a lifeline. It only rang twice before Robin picked up. She'd begged her parents to install an extra phone line in her room after Starcourt, and they gave in quickly once they realized it was either that, or getting woken up regularly by middle of the night panicked phone calls from the boy their daughter swore she wasn’t dating. Her parents didn’t know what had really happened to the two kids, just that whatever it was had left them with a lot of trauma and a little bit of codependency, but they loved their daughter, so they did what they could to make her happy.

“Steve?” Robin yawned his name into the phone, a hint of concern coloring her voice even though she was only half awake.

“Robbi-” Steve choked out through a sob that was punctuated with a hiccup. “I thhhink I fuccked up.”

“Are you drunk?” She asked, sounding a little more awake.

Steve snapped his fingers, pointing as if she was in the room with him. “Guessed it’n one.” He slurred a little, sniffling as he tried to speak. It was a wonder she understood him at all.

“Jesus, how much did you have? Wait, weren’t you and Eddie supposed to be hanging out tonight?”

“Oh Eddie” Steve sighed dramatically. “Eddie, he wasss here, he..oh god.. Robin I fuuucked up so bad - e’s never going to tttalk to me again.”

“What happened?” She asked.

Steve cleared his throat and took a few deep breaths. Trying hard to sober himself up.

“We were drinking.” He managed the three words with much less slurring than before, he thought Robin should be impressed.

She wasn’t.

“Clearly”

“Don’ be mean, i’m upset!” Steve groaned.

“Sorry, go on.”

“And I knew I shouldn’t have let myself drink so much but I did and god, Robin, he looked so hot!” Steve rambled on. “He had his hair up and a crop top on and I couldn’t help myself…. I all but sat on his lap when we decided to watch a movie.”

“I’m failing to see the issue here. You were flirting with him, so what? You like him, he likes you.”

“We don’t know that!” Steve hissed.

“We do know that! And I've been telling you to ask him out for weeks!.”

Steve hesitated, a little of his old panic rising in his chest. “I…i wasn’t ready.”

Robin’s tone softend. “That’s okay, you’re allowed to not be ready.”

“I think I am now, but…” He trailed off.

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”

“Eddie kissed me.” Steve said simply, as if that explained everything. In fairness to his booze soaked mind, it did.

“I’m gonna need you to elaborate, babe.”

“I freaked out, Robin! I freaked out and he thought I was freaking out because I didn't want him to kiss me, but really I was freaking out because I like him so much, and the kiss! Oh, the kiss was amazing. I had no idea that kissing could feel like that, but then I panicked because - what if I mess it up, Robin? What if I mess up with Eddie like I did with Nancy? I don’t know if I could survive that again.”

Robin was quiet for a long moment before she said anything.

“Shit, Steve. Do you…feel the same way about him as you did about Nance?”

“I think I do, Robs, I think I'm in love with him, but it doesn’t matter because I already ruined it.”

“Is that true?”

Steve’s heart sank as a deep voice sounded behind him.

He heard Robin suck in a breath on the other end of the line. He looked up, already knowing what he would find. Sure enough, Eddie was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, jacket on and keys still in hand. How long had he been standing there? Did he come back, or had he never left?

“Is that..?” Robin started to ask, but Steve cut her off. “Yeah, it is, um. I gotta go, I'll call you tomorrow.” He hung up before she could respond, never taking his eyes off the boy in the doorway.

Steve gulped audibly. “How much of that did you hear?”

Eddie shuffled his feet, looking nervous. It wasn’t something Steve was used to seeing on the other boy, he usually exuded confidence.

“I guess that depends.” Eddie replied.

“On?”

“How much of it did you mean?”

“All of it.” Steve answered quickly, eager to fix the mess he’d made of things.

Eddie pressed his lips together in a thin line, thinking. “Are you sure it’s not just because you’re drunk and sad?” He said, finally.

“If you stay, I'll say it again in the morning.”

Eddie smiled and shook his head. He walked over and sat down on the floor next to Steve, taking his hand and entwining their fingers. “What a line, Stevie.”

Steve ducked his head. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”

Eddie raised their clasped hands to his mouth and pressed his lips to the back of Steve’s fingers.

“I’m sorry too. I left and didn’t give you the chance to explain. I got into my van and even started it, but I couldn't leave. I didn’t want to run anymore. I came back inside so we could talk about it. I hoped you would forgive me for kissing you and we could still be friends.”

“I don’t want to be just friends, Eddie. Can we try the kiss again?”

Eddie squeezed his hand and stood up, pulling Steve along with him.

“Let’s get you to bed, and if you feel the same way in the morning I would be happy to have a do-over.”

Steve pouted but allowed Eddie to lead him out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his bedroom.

“Don’t pout, baby. You’re really drunk, and it would feel too much like I was taking advantage of you. Let’s just go to sleep, I promise I'll still be here in the morning.”

Baby.

“Will you sleep in here with me if I swear to keep my hands to myself?” Steve asked.

Eddie usually slept on the couch or the guest room when he stayed over. Steve had always hated it, but he had never been brave enough to ask Eddie to stay with him until now.

Eddie chuckled. “Yea, Stevie. I’ll stay with you.”

[cyantt-does-stuff]

How some people can hate Sam Winchester genuinely is beyond me.

He's not a flawless character. You don't have to like him. But I would hope it's for actual reasons besides just looking at him and saying you think he's terrible.

I've seen people say he's a horrible brother, as if Dean is any better (no hate to Dean I love him but he's got just as many issues). I've seen people mischaracterize him to a point where it's not even funny. "Dean is better" or "Castiel is better" when they're both equally as important as Sam. "He's annoying" isn't a good basis to start off with. It's a reason, but not a good one. "He complains too much", he has so many reasons to complain. Legit saw a comment saying that he whined about his issues a lot and that he was "jealous of Dean's relationship with Mary" and I'm like... huh? Let me dissect these two things.

First of all, John Winchester sucks. He's not a great father by any means, and even though he loved his sons, he fucked up raising them, if you can say he raised them at all besides hunter crap. Sam has every right to hate how their father raised them. Sam has every right to despise hunting and has every right to want to be normal. Plus, Sam wasn't just angry for his own sake. He was angry for Dean's as well. Dean had to be a father, mother, and brother to him because John only ever cared about his revenge. Sam has every right to bitch and moan about his daddy issues. Dean never did because he was expected to be the good son. A soldier. Which is also fucked up.

And Dean's relationship with Mary? Of course Sam is going to want what Dean has. Sam never knew his mom. He only had pictures. If my mother, who died and came back because of some divine miracle, had a good bond with my sibling but not me? I'd be pretty jealous too. And it's not a crime for him to want that.

Another point I've seen people make is that he doesn't care about Dean. Which, did we watch the same show? I don't think we did. Sam would do anything for Dean. Sam is just as codependent, Dean is his everything just as Sam is Dean's. They LITERALLY cannot live without the other. They just can't function. They go off the deep end. It's not healthy by any means but you cannot sit there and tell me Sam didn't care about Dean.

The whole point of Sam's character is that he's left out. He's the black sheep. He's the different one. He's shunned and put down for wanting to escape the life he was born into.

A lot of people disregard his problems in favor of another character's problems. You can't gloss over that he's suffered just as much as anyone else, if not more.

Anyways, sorry for the rant I just love this guy a lot and it pains me to see the unnecessary hate towards him.

[chessboredom]

hello its me. anon who asked ab how u see lairy and then got excited. on my alt account

hope you don’t mind me yapping your inbox, sorry. anywho i was thinking about airy having 0 personal space and i agree. i feel like after years of isolation now that he has someone he physically can’t stand to be alone. so he clings onto liam. i also think liam could use this to his advantage. for example airy wanting liam to sit next to him to do ONE stuff, giving him to opportunity to see how he uses the computer.

i also feel like they seek comfort from eachother in different ways. airy as mentioned above. liam wants comfort because of like. everything, but from anyone but airy. so when he needs it he just sucks it up and gives into airy’s affection / clinginess. i can’t imagine it being terribly comforting because airy hasn’t interacted with anyone for ages so i doubt he’s good at anything remotely intimate. (not. sex intimate just anything else besides that.) assuming we’re talking an au where airy doesn’t die after liam breaks his leg, he’d also be dependent on him for medical reasons and help getting around. lose-lose loser. i love codependency

anyways here’s some drawings that have never seen the light of day for you as a treat. a little snack.

sorry if this is just word vomit i’m really bad at talking. it’s just so refreshing to see someone who likes unhealthy dynamics without woobifying / romanticizing the fuck out of it. *vanishes into the mist*

AHHHH!! THEY'RE SO WONDERFUL THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME!!!!!!

I'm also thinking about Stone this au because you know how he's the silent prophet who knows about everything, and maybe he wrote more notes where Airy gets to see it and avoided his death. (Stone is a lairy shipper fudanshiing out. /j)

[flowersintheimpala69]

Do you ship any other incest tropes? Like blackcest(Sirius/Regulus), Jaydick(Jason Todd/Dick Grayson), etc' ?? Genuinely curious about your thoughts on other incest tropes ^-^

i assume by incest tropes u mean other incest ships if u meant like actual tropes I'm so sorry and I'll do this ask again lol but for now I'm operating under the assumption this is about ships.

as a self proclaimed incest connoisseur here are some of my other fav incest ships. WARNING: uncontrolled yapping under the cut:

Jaime x Tyrion (GOT): there is NO fan content for them but tbh they're like one of my #1 got ships.. it's just like. Tyrion feels undesirable. he's been treated like shit his entire life for his deformity. he feels no warmth for Tywin or Cersei, but he has a love for Jaime who has always treated him with respect and care. like. ugh. that's his big brother!! I think Jaime, under his exterior and at his core, is a good guy who wants to protect people. and i think his protectiveness especially flares up with Tyrion cuz of the way he's treated by the majority. i think they should kiss too.

Cersei x Jaime (GOT): These bitches are messyyyyy and i love it. i think cersei is in a weird way jealous of jaime cuz he's able to do the things she can't as she's restricted by Westeros's misogynistic culture, which is a sickening layer to their relationship. I'm holding out for a cersei x jaime endgame in asoiaf.. grrm martin if u can hear us release winds of winter and make sure it includes more lannister incest. jaime and cersei just share this insane codependency that i LOVE. like in the show when jaime goes back to king's landing for cersei? like as a brienne x jaime lover that hurt but then as a cersei x jaime truther i was lowkey cheering. like even after all that development and time away from her, cersei was still the number one woman in Jaime's life. sickening.

Jon x Sansa (GOT): not sure if this counts cuz yea they're technically cousins (in the show. ig L + R = J isn't confirmed yet in the books so halfsiblings in the books for now) the final seasons of GOT sucked but they gave us Jonsa reunion so I'll take the win. idk. its like. sansa has lost faith in true heroes/honorable men. but jon is an honorable man. also like sansa being influenced to hate jon by catelyn but her love for him growing overtime so eventually she sees him as a true stark (in the show). there's more in canon content for them show wise of course but I'm holding out for a jonsa reunion/moment in the books (if grrm ever writes any more)

(NOTE: all hotd ships is show ver i haven't read Fire & Blood I'm sorry. also there's a lot of HOTD ships cuz that show is an incest cesspool)

Daemon x Viserys I (HOTD): daemon's freaky incest sex dream in s2 should've been about viserys and I STAND BY THAT!! daemon wanted to be viserys as much as he wanted to be visery's sister wife. we don't get a bunch of insight into their relationship in the show but idc they're def brotherkissers...

Aemond x Aegon II (HOTD): doomed brotherkissers.. they should've just reconciled and fucked. they hate each other. they have love for each other. they're sick.

Heleana x Aemond (HOTD): it's subtle but i stg there's so many small implications in the show that they had something. they seem to hold this affection for each other that is lacking in the marriage between heleana and aegon. like s1e8 aemond looks a little peeved about heleana dancing with jace. when they're kids and aegon calls heleana an idiot aemond defends her and says aegon should "honour" her. during aegon's coronation heleana can be seen hiding a bit behind aemond, and when meleys comes in aemond steps in front of heleana as if to protect her. heleana made aemond cry!! stoic aemond cried cuz of her!! in my head they had this unspoken affection for each other. i know there's a theory that heleana's kids are actually aemonds' and are bastards. i don't rlly believe it to be true, but I still think there was something between them.

Heleana x Alicent (HOTD): HEAR ME OUT. its like. they're so disconnected from each other. heleana needs a mother but alicent doesn't really have the emotional capacity for that. alicent doesn't know how to connect to her reserved daughter. maybe heleana reminds alicent of rhaenyra a bit.. idk I just think their bonding activity of choice should be heleana sucking alicent's tits. as one does.

Jacaerys x Heleana (HOTD): we were robbed.. they could've been great. heleana could've used a gentle guy like jace. what could've been.

Aegon II x Rhaenyra (HOTD): in a perfect world they were married to each other in an attempt to secure Rhaenyra's place as heir and stop Aegon from usurping

Rhaenyra x Daemon (HOTD): they're THE power couple. they're also messy as hell. i think in a weird way they sorta fear each other AND are jealous of each other. daemon wanted to be named viserys heir, yet rhaenyra was named heir instead. rhaenyra wants to be respected like a daemon but never will be because she's a woman. their physical intimacy/tension/chemistry is also AMAZING. they have this weird power dynamic where daemon exploited and took advantage of rhaenyra when she was young yet nyra holds power over him as his queen, a position daemon always wanted and a position he helped give to nyra!! their wedding was also BEAUTIFUL and one of my fav scenes btw

Heleana x Aegon II (HOTD): failmarriage. i think aegon does care for heleana but he can't understand her.

Rick x Morty (Rick & Morty): need that pervy old man to groom and molest his grandson!! I can't think of any particular ricks or mortys i especially enjoy together, i think they're all great.

Stanley x Stanford (Gravity Falls): it's been a WHILE since I've actually engaged with any gf or stancest content but for a while stancest was my shit, and it still holds a special place in my heart. i love toxic old man yaoi. to me its like they have this unsaid thing their whole lives where they sorta know that there this something more between them but they never act on it. and then they have their break up when stanley is kicked out and they don't talk for years. but even those years apart they thought of each other often. then they reunite but then things go wrong and they fight and ford goes into the portal and then stanley proceeds to spend the next decades obsessing over getting his brother back. they had rough hate sex when ford eventually came back but was still pissed at stanley. idk its like. they RETIRED together. them together. on stan o war II for the rest of their lives. brotherfuckers if u ask me.

Roman x Shiv (Succession): They fooled around when they were kids. trust me. roman fingered shiv when they were 14 and horny. shiv gave her first blowjob to roman. and like. in their heads its whatever. its not like they actually ever had sex. like they're not abt to go shouting it from the rooftops or talk to each other abt cuz it was. unconventional. but they also think they were just kids anyways. sometimes when it's just them in a room together they give each other these looks. side way glances.

Vi x Jinx (Arcane): i like caitvi as much as the next person but ViJinx is so good. like. god. they're so damaged but they have sm love for each other too. Jinx telling Vi "I'm glad it's you" in s2 act 1 while Vi is on top of her!! jinx blowing on vi's ear in s2 act 2!! jinx sacrificing herself for vi in s2 act 3!! and i mean. vi fucking cait in JINX'S CELL AFTER JINX ABANDONS HER!! THEY'RE SISTERFUCKERS. they're gross and codependent and obsessed and vi wanted to eat her little sister out NASTY.

You mentioned JayDick, which I've read a few fics for and I enjoy them. But tbh my fav batfamily ship is BruDick... like. they're partners/fatherson/lovers/rivals all wrapped in one. they can't stand each other. they care deeply for each other. they're weirdly codependent and are super emotionally incestuous. I'm not against bruce molesting a young dick, but my fav dynamic tbh is bruce seeing dick 100% as a son/sidekick/partner until one day a flip switches in bruce's brain and his 28 y/o pseudo-son is suddenly the hottest man alive. and dick has been down bad for that brussy since he first hit puberty. then they fuck. real to ME. i haven't rlly consumed any batfamily/dc fic in a while but thinking abt brudick is putting me in the mood.. lowkey might read some later.

Liam x Cordell (Walker): I don’t think jarpad is capable of playing a man who isn’t in love with his blood brother

Thor x Loki (MCU): i used to consume sm thorki fic it was an actual illness.

im sure there are others I forgot to mention but these are the main ones i like. I'm big on codependency and unhealthy dynamics, that while toxic, do contain genuine care/love.

thanks for the ask anon! sorry this was so long lol

[consistentsquash]

SEXPOSITION!!!! :D @danpuff-ao3!!!!

Sorry not sorry about the capitals screaming because this stuff is lit. It's 630 pages single bookbinding!!!! OMG. Danni really said go big or go home!!

Original rec list on Tumblr - The goal of this list was to rec Snarry fics great about using sex for exposition with a huge dick to word count ratio. The Big Dick Energy of these fics are totally 110% matched by the Big Dick Energy of the bookbinding Danni did :D Also I probably am the luckiest reccer and maybe one of the top 1% (suck on that Bernie!!!) because Danni bound my rec list and whoa total honor :D :D Better than getting into Library of Congress :D

lots and lots after the cut :D :D it took me forever because my roof was like 50% roof and needed to fix that but pic time now :D :D

Ok, this book is from Busy Bee Book Bindery! It's got the coolest seal ever :D :D Also look at the special guy on the right :D we are flying :D

Also from the side

Also check out The Table of Contents!!!

1. Entwined by rexluscus

Danni picked the perfect symbol for this fic. It's dirtyhotbadwrong and its really really codependency :D

2. Pink Slip by Cluegirl

To be honest the corset is the One Image which just stays in my brain forever about the fic. I mean Voldemort one and the Order folks are now "fosterlings" and things are really dirtybadhotwrong but the corset imagery lives in my head rentfree :D Danni really got that one right :D :D

3. made to be broken by @theshopislocal

Really love the feather/light/vulnerability vibes of the symbol. It totally matches the beautiful fic with vulnerable Snape written in classic Snarry slash vibes.

4. Warm by @perverse-idyll

Warm :D Total vibe match for the PWP established relationship comfort read vibes of the fic. Because this is the Snarry PWP and established relationship fic as far as I am concerned :D

5. Green Grow the Rushes, O by eldritcher

I mean this one really is the perfect symbol again :D Harry has a jackal's head like Anubis because he is that good bad at Animagus stuff. The Snarry bestiality fic/creature fic as far as I am concerned :D

6. The Unforgivables by Dementor Delta and Cruise Director

I love love love the super direct symbolism of the wand in this fic :D It's just like Harry :D Kind of Slytherin and sneaky, kind of Gryffindor and risktaking :D Also lots of dumb luck and it works out :D

7. No Sex, No Galleons by Ziasudra

I mean literally nobody is paying Snape a ton of Galleons for his services :D Bad joke but I really love the symbolism of that for the fic which has a ton of characterization and dynamics around the concept of worth <3

8. Contempt by @danpuff-ao3

The most Snarry fic of 2020s for me <3 I am pretty much totally burned on Snarry because I feel satisfied and a big reason for that is Contempt. It was so brilliant, perfect and I don't really feel like reading new Snarry at the moment :D Also a perfect image for the fic. Innocence, guilt, beauty, ugliness, imperfection, flaws, penetration lots and lots of symbolism in that <3

9. Mostly Harmless by EmilyWaters1976

The imagery of the manacle is super on point for this fic which is dark, dubcon bittersweet with a happy ending :D

10. Death and the Open Mind by Loup Garou.

The final fic is super long at like 43000 words. I mean!!! That's like 150 pages!! 150 pages!! Danni is insane and brilliant. I really love the skull rose imagery which is perfect for the fic which is dark, dirtybadhotwrong and really really beautiful.

Also the intro :D

Also one of my fav parts from Contempt

Going to bed with Severus — to actually sleep — is Harry's favorite part. It's a bit awkward because they haven't discussed it, but Severus doesn't dissuade Harry from following him. The bed is lumpy and creaky and small. Severus is too bony to be a comfortable bedmate. Harry latches onto him all the same.

Also one of my fav parts from Warm

It was everything Harry wanted. It was the sort of sex he'd thought he could never have, and it made him so giddy he almost laughed out loud.

Also one of my fav parts from Green Grow the Rushes, O.

He has done his best to ward the boy in. He has done his best to follow the boy. But the boy is no longer a boy. With Minerva's voice, with a jackal's head, with skulls on his torso dying off one-by-one, he is godly and bestial, of no father's seed, of no mother's make.

Also of course back of the book

Also This got here by OWL POST

[calebslittleapple]

feels like home: red lace

After finding a lacy surprise in his washing machine, Caleb checks the security footage from his apartment in Skyhaven, only to see that he’s missed out on much more than he realized. Rushing from his home to hers, Caleb quickly realizes that his Pip-squeak is more cunning than he thought, and as the night goes on and their desires are heightened, they’ll finally stop holding back. AKA: turbo virgins CalebMc finally get to doin’ it after some LIGHT panty-sniffy and frustration-inspired exhibitionism/voyeurism HAHA.

Pairing: LaDS Caleb x MC (she/her)

Genre: Smut (with feelings)

CW: Codependency; Pip-squeak as an endearment; Panty Sniffing; light exhibitionism; Light Voyeurism; Cunnilingus; Penis In Vagina Sex; Loss of Virginity; inappropriate use of Caleb's Evol; MC is named Emme Sea; Caleb and MC POV

Also on AO3

Where are you? I thought you were supposed to be home by now

Caleb glances at his phone while half-listening to the meeting he’s sitting in on—his third of the day. He is supposed to be spending the evening with his girl, but one thing leads to another, and now she’s sitting in his apartment in Skyhaven all alone.

Meeting running late. Sorry, Pip-squeak. I’ll grab takeout on the way home? ☹️ Do you count as takeout? Come home, Caleb. I’m lonely, and I miss you

His heart twists at that, while other parts of his anatomy tighten… Caleb shakes his head and takes a deep, audible breath. All eyes turn to him.

“Colonel?”

Caleb clears his throat. “We need to wrap this up in the next ten minutes.”

Backs straighten as gazes lock onto the clearly unimpressed colonel. “Right, well. I was going to do an open question period, but that can be handled via e-mail…”

It takes him an hour to get home from work. He’s picked up ramen from a nearby restaurant, but when he steps into his home, all the lights in the living room are off.

She must have gone to bed.

Emme had one hell of a week at work and was fortunate to have a day off. Naturally, she wanted to spend it with him. Of course, Caleb’s time isn’t as free at the moment, but he’d walk on nails if it meant he could free up space in his schedule for her.

After sticking the ramen in the fridge, he pads through the hallways of his apartment, searching for the one person in the world he always wants to see. He checks her room—his old space—but she’s not there.

A soft light spills from within his bedroom, and he spies Emme laying there, half covered by the blankets, and wrapped up around the soft sleeping shirt he’d been wearing last night. Torn between his desire to let her sleep, and his need to see, hear, feel, taste her, Caleb stands there and stares down at her. His Pip-squeak. His first and only love.

Things have been changing between them, though he can’t quite abandon the role that he’d long since been cast in—caretaker, comforter, her Caleb. But sometimes, the walls come down, and she’ll end up in his lap, his arms wrapped tight around her as they tease and flirt and reminisce, sharing heat and space as the borders of their relationship expand.

Sometimes, it’s just like the old days, where they watch a movie, drive each other nuts, and end up falling asleep on his big sofa.

And sometimes… he’ll find himself on his knees in the shower, his Evol holding her tight against the wall, as he sucks and finger fucks her to completion as the sound of water smothers some of her cries while washing away the day, reservations, and everything else.

Being kept from her by work put him in a foul mood. She’d probably tease him for it if she was awake. Stepping close to his bed, Caleb ducks and reaches down, skimming his fingers through her hair as she softly snores on his pillow.

The love he has for her is so potent that it’s hard to think around. Tonight, his desire to keep her safe and comfortable wins out over his desire to hear her moan his name. After showering, Caleb dresses in some pajamas and crawls into bed beside her. His long arms curl around her and tug her close. She softly breathes out his name, presses back into his chest, and goes right back to quietly snoring.

Caleb leans in, breathes in deep, and lets her sweet, apple-tinged scent wash over him. Every moment spent with her is one he cherishes, and with her curled up in his arms, Caleb actually manages to sleep soundly and without nightmares. She’s his good luck charm and chases away the dark with only her presence.

The next morning, they get up together and he makes breakfast for her, while she makes the coffee. Same as always. And when she’s just about ready to head back to Linkon City, she gets up onto her tip toes and kisses him so thoroughly that he has a really hard time letting her go.

“Come visit me in a few days,” she says between breathless kisses.

“Mmm,” he replies, knowing that he has a shitton of work to do, but also knowing that he’ll blow off food, sleep, and anything else he needs to make time for her. A few days pass, and Caleb is spending the evening doing some laundry—his and hers because she always manages to leave something behind.

Which he doesn’t mind. He loves it when she invades his space. Hell, he wishes she’d move in with him, but half hates the idea because he doesn’t want her pulled into the mess of living in Skyhaven. But still… if he could have her all the time, Caleb knows he’d be able to keep her safe.

Keep her for him, and him alone.

It’s these dark, possessive thoughts that consume him when she’s been away from him for more than a few days. Having her clothes nearby is a nice reminder that he’ll see her soon and helps to keep him sane.

Taking a breath, he tries to calm down, and it almost works, at least, until he notices something strange in his washer. Something red is hanging on the inside. Caleb scoops out the fabric, thinking that maybe he forgot to switch a sock over into the dryer, but immediately freezes when he pulls it closer.

It’s not a sock.

They’re red lace panties.

Caleb swallows. When the hell had she worn this? His mind immediately flashes back to her text—he’d almost felt her pouting through the messages. Was this why? Had she dressed up for him?

Fuck.

Closing his eyes, he’s about to throw the panties back into the washer, but maybe they’re clean? He should probably check. And really, shouldn’t something this fragile be washed by hand, anyway? Caleb talks himself into circles before finally gritting his teeth and pulling the flimsy scrap of clothing close to his nose and… and…

Fuuuuck.

They’re uhh… not clean. And they smell… so fucking good, like a sweet blend of her apple-scented soap and her body’s natural fragrance. His cock is immediately and viciously hard in his pants. Like Pavlov’s fucking bell, but for perverts.

But if he’s the pervert for smelling her clothes, what does that make her, considering it seems they were left for him to find? He feels nearly fuckin’ feral with his need for her, and before he can talk himself out of it, he’s popping the button on his jeans, dragging the zipper down, and curling his length out from inside his boxers.

With her panties still wrapped around his warm hand, he grips himself, tugging once, twice, thrice before coming on his hand. It’s quick, too quick, and not nearly enough. He looks down at his hand, still gently wrapped around his dick, and stares at the cum staining her panties.

He’s gonna have to wash them now. So, he takes them into the shower and uses the panties to lather himself up with his body wash. When he’s done, they’re gonna smell like him. And when he gives them back, he’s gonna make damn sure that she smells like him, too.

But he comes down from his high quickly enough, and rational thoughts start to creep in. What if it was a mistake, and his dick was tricking him? What if she didn’t mean for him to find the panties? He towel dries the panties, dresses in his pajamas and all but throws himself onto his sofa, wrestling with his desires and insecurities until he’s a wreck.

He flicks the red scrap of clothing around his finger for a moment before he opens the HUD on his phone and remembers that he can check his security footage. He scans the footage from the last few days and finally stops when he sees her standing in his place. She makes a call—to him, likely—and tosses her phone onto the sofa in a fit of pique before dumping herself onto the plush fabric.

A few moments more, and she’s grabbing her phone, scanning through it before she grows bored and tosses it again. He skips a little, and when it comes back up, he’s utterly unprepared for what he’s about to see.

All the air leaves his lungs in a rush as he sees his girl, sitting in the exact spot as he’s sitting, topless, legs spread as her hand slips beneath the band of her lacy panties.

Caleb swallows and turns up the volume, only to be greeted with the sweet sound of her panting his fucking name.

Rubbing a hand over his mouth, he quickly rolls back to the start and finds her staring up at the camera, only to deftly tug the shirt—his oversized shirt, actually—over and off her body. No bra. A few moments more, and she’s standing, bending, shimmying for the camera as she pulls down her shorts and reveals the tiny red panties he’d found.

She slips back to the sofa. Taking her fingers into her mouth, she sucks for long moments, eyes still glued on the security camera as if she’s imagining he’s watching. Her free hand comes up and cups her breast, fingers teasing her nipples as she plucks and whimpers.

Then, she pulls her hand from her mouth, wet fingers trailing across her abdomen before descending lower… lower…

She’s slow with herself, even though she can tell she’s impatient. No, it’s not that. She’s needy. For him. And here, he’d been in a fuckin’ work meeting about expenses, when she’d been here… with half-naked and wanting.

Goddamnit.

He watches her touch herself, and at a few more points, she looks up at the camera, and it feels like she’s looking right at him. The frustration and need in her expression are painfully evident.

Where are you?

Why aren’t you here with me?

I need you, Caleb.

She does whimper his name more than a few times, sweet supplication spilling from her lips as her fingers dip and slide. And when she comes, again his name tumbles forth, sounding so needy for him that he wants to punch himself for being late that night.

But now, he’s free. Caleb checks Emme’s socials and itinerary, and she’s at home too.

Good.

He’s out the door, panties still in hand, and halfway to her place before he realizes what he’s doing. Thank God the train is running on time tonight. When he finally gets to her door, he stands there for a moment, hand in his pocket, and tightly clenched around her underwear as he fights to control his rapidly beating heart.

He doesn’t want to scare her, but his need for her is so overwhelming it’s making him feel insanely reckless. He takes a breath, and then, another. Long moments pass. Finally, he presses the doorbell to her apartment and waits.

When the door opens, and her beautiful face comes into view, his name falls from her lips. “Caleb?”

And before he can stop himself, he’s got her wrapped up in his arms, quickly urging her legs around his middle as he lifts her. His power closes the door to her apartment, after which he presses her up against it tight.

She kisses him back, confused but gamely keeping up. She’s fearless, his girl. His hand comes up and threads into the length of her hair, and only then does she realize what’s prompted this encounter—her panties are dangling from his fingers.

“Oh,” she breathes against his mouth. “Did I forget something at your place?”

His eyes roll back, forehead resting against hers as he breathes, “You’re lucky I didn’t check the security feed while at work.”

She catches his gaze and holds it, dead serious as she admits, “I wanted you to. It would have gotten you home faster.”

“God, Pip-squeak.”

Her hands slowly caress his chest, as if soothing the beast inside of him, but her words make him ache. “Caleb…”

“Mmm?”

“I want more,” she says, shimmying against his middle. It’s only then that he realizes that she’s wrapped up in a bathrobe… and nothing else.

“What do you need, baby?”

She catches her lip between her teeth before softly admitting, “You. Me. In bed.”

“And then?”

His body feels as tightly coiled as a spring, and what she says next nearly has him launching off the wall.

“You. In. Me.”

And here, he’d thought he was the feral one. As her soft mound presses into his stomach, nails scraping along the line of his shirt only to dip beneath and tease his sternum, Caleb realizes that maybe he was the one who’d fallen into her trap.

His answering grin is fierce and supremely satisfied. “Happy to oblige.”

____

Emme is not entirely surprised when Caleb shows up at her apartment. She’s been waiting for this moment. Waiting and hoping.

Maybe he’s here to check in on me… she thinks, but the moment she opens the door, she knows he’s found her ‘gift’ for him. It doesn’t take him long before he’s trudging them both through her small home, furiously kicking off his shoes as he tries to make his way deeper into her living space.

A few times along the way, he pauses to press her into the wall and kiss her senseless.

Ahh… maybe I’ve pushed him too far this time…

Still, she can’t help but tease. “Did you like the video?”

“I loved it,” he drawls between hungry kisses. “I wish I’d checked it sooner.”

“I thought you always checked in on me while at work?”

“I do, and I did. But I checked earlier that day. Before you called.”

She pouts. “Too bad. Could have turned that meeting into something really interesting.”

His demeanor shifts a bit, and the expression on his face is anything but amused. “Would’a been real inconvenient for me.”

“Oh?”

“Hidin’ all those bodies after they saw you like that…”

“Caleb!”

He chuckles softly, but she gets it because she feels the same. Hell, she’s found herself wanting to claw the eyes out of any onlooker as they covetously stare at her Caleb. Now, there’ll be no going back. They’ll possess each other so completely that neither will even consider the thought that they aren’t meant to be together.

Forever.

And Emme thinks her plan is going swimmingly, at least, until Caleb softly curses and lets her slip from his waist.

“Shit.”

“What?”

He shakes his head and frowns. “Thought I had this all planned out, but I forgot something.”

“What?”

“Condoms.”

Emme lets out a short laugh. “Missing the forest for the trees, eh, flyboy?”

Caleb rubs a hand over his face and is halfway through apologizing for… everything and this, but Emme interrupts him.

“You might not be prepared,” she murmurs while sliding his hand over her forearm. “But I am.”

With his fingers beneath hers, she presses so he can feel the subdermal implant.

“Wha..?”

Rolling her eyes, she explains, “Look, I know things can be kind of weird between us because of… well. You know. Everything. But I thought it would be better to be prepared.”

“You’ve been planning on having sex with me?” he says, sounding shocked even though he’d come over to her place with the intention of having sex with her if she wanted to.

“God, Caleb. Are you telling me you just watched me finger myself on your security camera and then were wondering whether I’ve been thinking about having sex with you? Seriously? How is that even a question right now?”

Her cheeks are burning, but her annoyance blocks out any embarrassment. Of course, she’d been thinking about Caleb and sex. He’s eaten her out literally every single time they’ve been together, never mind all the other things he does—and he expects so little in return.

And she… well, she’s been wanting more. Wanting to experience what the thick length of him inside of her would feel like. She’s greedy and needy, wanting to see the way his eyes linger on her body, the flush in his cheeks, and the way his ears get red when he’s embarrassed… and aroused.

She’s wanted him for a long time, if she’s being honest, but wanting and acting are two separate things. Then, she’d gone to visit him in Skyhaven, and been extra amorous given the time of her cycle it happened to be, and now… he is here, desperate and horny. So, it might not have been the best plan in the world, but it did work.

Still, she’s incredulous as he says, “I kind of thought that maybe you were just pitying me.”

“Good God, Caleb. We’ve done nearly everything except have sex, willingly and quite enthusiastically on both our parts, and you thought… Look, you think I’m naïve and don’t understand the depth of your feelings for me, but it goes both ways. I’m not… I’m not good at expressing my emotions.” He snorts, and she glares. “Anger and annoyance don’t count. And that’s not… those aren’t the kind of feelings I’m talking about.”

“Tell me, Pip-squeak.”

Emme nibbles her lips and huffs softly. “Look, Caleb. You know I love you. I’ve always loved you, but when I lost you, I… It hurt me so bad that I wasn’t sure if I could go on… you know, living. It was a lot. And now… You’re my Caleb, and I want you in every way that I can have you.”

“Do you know what you’re saying?”

“You came all the way here to have sex with me, and now you’re questioning my resolve?”

“Emme,” he growls softly. “This isn’t a game.”

“I know that, Caleb! So stop being a dummy and listen to me because I’m telling you that I love you, and I want to spend the rest of… whatever with you. A hundred years, a thousand—forever and a day, if we can manage it.”

Caleb takes a breath, nose flaring a little. His jaw clenches, hands curling into fists at his sides, and for a moment, Emme thinks he looks confused.

I thought he’d be happy about this…

But then, his power reaches out, and in one breathless moment to the next, she’s being lifted, legs wrapping of their own accord around his middle. Dipping his head, Caleb presses his face into the length of her hair and breathes deep. She holds him back, just as tight, fingers gently soothing as he takes a moment to really come to understand what she’s saying, and what she needs.

“Pip-squeak,” he says, voice breaking some as his lips skim against her skin. “I’ve wanted you for so long, I just…”

“Mmm, I’ve always been yours,” she murmurs. “Yours, and only yours. So, give me what we both need.”

Caleb lets out a shaky breath before carrying her over to the bed. He uses his Evol to pull the sheets back, and he’s so careful with her as he sets her on the mattress. But she doesn’t want careful. She wants him. Badly.

“Caleb,” she softly calls his name while sliding back into the pillows as his eyes roam. “You don’t have to hold back anymore…”

“Ahh,” he groans, “that’s such a dangerous thing to say to a man like me.”

Her eyelids flutter, legs parting to give him better access as she murmurs, “I know you’d never hurt me. So… let’s go further.”

“How far?”

He wants her to be clear, so she indulges him. “I want all of you inside of me. Don’t stop… until we both feel it.”

He looks down, and for a moment, he almost looks sheepish. “What if I suck at this?”

“Oh, Caleb,” she says while reaching out to him. “You’re good at anything you put your mind to. You can be good for me, right?”

He pulls a shaky breath between parted, rough lips, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard. She wants to follow that motion with her tongue, to thread her fingers into his thick hair and hold tight as he grinds his length against her, dig her nails into the muscles of his back to mark him as her own.

Caleb is so wrapped up in his own self-loathing that he has a hard time seeing the truth—that she is just as crazy in love with him as he is with her.

“Tell me… if you need me to stop.”

“What I need is for you to come here. Be with me. C’mon. We’ll do this together.”

Caleb edges closer to the bed, and though she’s already comfy in the pillows, Emme pushes herself up and out, and slides over to the edge so that she can peel the sweatpants from his hips.

“Did you wear these for me?” she teases.

Caleb shakes his head. “I was only half-sentient when I slipped my clothes on.”

“Because of the panties?”

“The panties, the surveillance footage. You.”

And maybe it’s a bit twisted, but it makes her heart beat faster in her chest, and her body tingle when he admits that he’s watched her. Of course, they always keep tabs on each other, so it wasn’t like she didn’t know he’d find out.

She’d wanted him to see her like that. Wanted to push him just a little further than they’d already gone, in hopes that she’d be able to get him to come to her. All she ever had to do was call and ask, and he’d answer—on the second ring—and be ready to do whatever she wanted.

But this was different from before. She wanted him to want her. Not because he felt obliged to do what she wanted, but because he wanted it, too.

He’s hard beneath the soft fabric of his pants. Her eyes trail over the bulge. She knows what he looks like, knows the feel of him against her palm and her body—but taking him inside of her? That’ll be new. Emme rolls her eyes up, eyelashes fluttering as she hooks her thumbs in the waistband of his pants and works them over his hips.

His dick bobs as it slips free. She bites her lips. There are so many things she wants to do right now, but at the top of the list is ‘Sex with Caleb,’ so that comes first. Still, she can’t stop herself from reaching out and gently cupping his sac before trailing her fingers over his length. Caleb stutter-steps out of his pants, cheeks and ears flushing as she catches him off guard.

Leaning back, she lets the housecoat fall open and slide away. It was a good thing he caught her after a shower; she’s ready for him. His shirt comes off next, and even though it’s certainly not the first time she’s seen him like this, she can’t help but think how good he looks.

Hell, sometimes when he’s doing laundry, he’ll walk around in nothing but a towel, the necklace she gave him, and a smile. But the look of him nude combined with the sultry look on her face is making her body achy with need. Emme bites her lip and stares, eyes traveling from the top of his dark head to his neck, his chest, his abdomen… and lower…

Every part of him looks good enough to eat, and he stands there and lets her look her fill. Finally, she slides back on her arms and smiles up at him.

“Come here.”

He does, that big body of his inching up onto her bed and covering hers completely. For a moment, they just hold each other and just enjoy the soft comfort of being together. But then, her fingers start to twitch, and his lips start to trail, and soon enough, his dark head is between her thighs.

He’s gotten ohh sooo good at this. Between the sweet sucking of his lips and the luscious licks from his tongue, coupled with the gentle thrusting of his fingers, he’s got her rolling before she even knows what’s what. But she finds it’s easy to lose herself when she’s with him. Even his mere scent drives her crazy, and when that combines with touch and soft words and ohhh the sweet tingle of his power as he holds her exactly where he wants her, how can she resist?

Finally, when he’s got her to the point that she nearly has to push him off because she’s so sensitized, his head pops up and he looks at her, lips gleaming as he obviously waits to be told what to do next. As if she knows!

“We’re gonna have to figure this out together,” she murmurs.

Caleb rubs his cheek on the inside of her thigh, lips turning into the soft flesh there as he gently kisses the hickey he left behind.

“Do you think you’re ready?”

“Are you?”

Caleb chokes. “God. I dunno. I think I’m gonna go insane.”

Good, she thinks. Then he is ready. Because she wants him so badly, she can hardly think straight. But still, this is new and a little scary, but it’s Caleb, so she knows it’ll be okay.

“Go slow?”

“Whatever you need,” he says while shifting his body between hers.

His dick juts up between them, and she understands why he’s feeling a bit crazy. He’s hard as hell, and the tip is leaking… Reaching down, she softly thumbs the top, which earns her a groan.

“Let’s… do this.” It’s kind of a ridiculous thing to say, but Caleb only chuckles and reaches up to cup her cheek.

“As fast or as slow as you need, got it?”

“Got it.”

And then, he’s lining himself up at her entrance, and the thick press of his crown against her opening is strange and Mmmm… good. He slides a little more in, and inch by inch, her warmth welcomes him in. He’s not… Ohhh… He’s not small, but he’s patient, and gentle, even though she can tell the effort to keep himself from thrusting is killing him.

Ahh… Ahh…

But somehow, she knows he even likes that part. For her, there’s no pain. He’s spent so much time building up to this moment that she’s ready for him. The memories of moments shared between them heighten her desires as well, never mind having Caleb—gloriously nude, straining, lip caught tight between teeth as he inches, inches, inches inside of her.

The moment almost doesn’t feel real. She’s imagined what it would be like to be with him like this for so long that she almost feels out of her mind now that it’s actually happening. And Caleb… God, Caleb… It’s almost like he’s stuck somewhere between heaven and hell.

She reaches up and holds his cheeks in her hands, forces him to stare into her eyes, and he looks so lost—helpless, out of control, needful—that it makes her clench. Caleb groans, body twisting and cheeks pressing into her palms.

“Baby…” he moans.

Maybe it’s because she’s a bit reckless, or maybe it’s because she’s a bit demanding, it’s definitely because she’s a bit of a brat, but Emme slowly resonates with Caleb to maintain a measure of control, powers mingling as their bodies rock together. Those combined feelings have them reeling. Her legs clamp down around his middle, his arms tuck in beneath her, around her, holding tight as he grinds and grinds and grinds.

When he finally bottoms out inside of her, his eyes roll back, his lip caught so tight between his teeth that she’s worried it might bleed. And still, she can’t help but laugh some as she stares at him, in this moment.

He’s her Caleb, and this is… sex. And it’s weird, and good, and scary, and hot, and just so much that it’s a little hard to believe it’s real. Caleb must notice her freaking out because he manages to reach up and gently cup her cheek.

“You okay, Em?” She nods, but he’s insistent. “Tell me.”

“I’m good, I’m just… it’s a little overwhelming. You ‘n me. This. All of it.”

“Does it feel bad?”

“Oh, no.”

His lip curls, eyebrow raising as he asks. “Does it feel… good?”

“Caleb!” she whines. “Don’t tease me.”

“Pip-squeak,” he sweetly croons. “You clenched so nicely when I asked that. If you’re not gonna be honest, your body is. So, tell me. Tell me everything. Or… I can find all the sensitive spots on your body and get your secrets anyway. Your choice.”

She pouts, but when he gives her a teasing thrust, she knows he’s not joking. Finally, she admits, “It just feels like I’ve been waiting forever for this.”

“And now that forever is now?”

“It’s so good, Caleb. You are so good, I just…”

“What?”

“I want more, and I’m afraid of getting it.”

“Why?”

“What if I ruin everything?”

“Not possible.”

“How?”

Caleb softly presses his nose into the line of her throat before dipping his head, lips tracing over skin, before he softly sucks a pert nipple into his mouth. That has Emme squirming, fingers digging into his hair as his hips restlessly stir below.

“I’ve made it my life’s work to give you everything that you want. So, this will be no different. You can’t ruin anything because you’re already perfect—we’re already perfect. We were made for this moment. It just… took us a while to get here. And now…”

“And now…?” she softly gasps as he thrusts, this time a little harder.

“Now, we get to see what we’ve been missing out on. And God, baby, there’s so much I wanna do with you… and to you.”

Just like that, Caleb’s got her out of her head and into the moment. It’s Caleb. Her Caleb. Always has been, always will be. She takes a breath, relaxes, and luxuriates in the strangely sweet feel of him inside of her, before curling her legs around his while angling her hips.

“More?”

“Please.”

He’s never been able to resist any one of her requests before, and it’s no different now. Except now, she gets to enjoy the hot-hard feel of him inside and atop her. He’s so responsive to her, moves so patiently, so purposefully, that soon enough, her head is lolling against the sheets as he increases the pace.

Caleb’s so broad and beautiful atop her, body so giving, lips against hers, tongue seeking, swirling, sucking, as he kisses her until she’s breathlessly moaning into his mouth. But he’s not done with her, not even close.

Slowly, his power crawls along the line of her back, curving her just so. Caleb’s always made her feel like she can fly, and right now is no exception. He’s slow and patient as he fucks her, eyes darting over her face, the curve of her neck, the sweet swell of her breasts, watching, watching, watching as if he’s afraid that at any moment she’ll disappear from this bed.

She’s just as possessive of him as he is of her, and at this moment, she wants all of him—the hurt, the pain, the pleasure, the release, the insanity of everything that they mean to each other—all of it and all of him.

Her hand threads into his shaggy hair, fingers pulling just a touch as she softly whines, “Caleb… Harder.”

He chokes, body stuttering. His lips part, and he breathes out with a sound that’s more like a whimper than a moan.The look on his face makes her worry she’s broken him.

His face rubs against her wrist, words halting as he says, “Is that an order…?”

“Do I have the authority to command you?”

“Mmm… absolutely.”

“Then yes, it’s an order.”

Caleb lets out a soft laugh. That is all the warning she gets before his power swells, and Emme quickly finds herself on top with Caleb spread out beneath her. He looks like an offering to a heathen god, arms stretched high above his head, skin flushed, muscles flexed, and chest heaving.

Now, it’s her turn to whimper, not only from the sight before her but because of the thick, tight feel of him inside of her. She can go as fast or as slow, as hard or as soft as she wants. And Caleb… he can take it. For her, he’d do it. He’d do anything.

“Take what you need…” he purrs. “And I’ll match you from below.”

After taking a breath for courage, she shifts her hips and quickly finds that not only is this insanely pleasurable, but being in control heightens her desire. Her fingers curl against the tight muscles of his abdomen, body canting as she rocks.

Eventually, Caleb’s hands guide her hips upward, so she’s well and truly bouncing on him now. And as she falls… Ohhhh… his hips thrust, and he rises to meet her, pressing so deep, tight, and perfect that it feels like she’s gonna come apart just like this.

But when his warm fingers slide over her hip and down the inside of her thigh, quickly teasing between her soaked folds to find that sensitive bud within, then she well and truly loses herself. As Caleb watches, as his fingers roll between her legs, as he thrusts—fast and hard—from below, she nears her peak, and it’s… Oh, God! It’s…

“Caleb,” his name falls from her lips, begging, pleading for him to help her, to give her what she needs. And he does. He always gives her exactly what she needs.

Finally, her orgasm hits, completely inelegant and overwhelming. Waves of pleasure radiate from her core outwards, seductive tendrils flowing through her body, making her clench, grind, and moan. Caleb grunts softly, brow furrowing some as if he’s holding himself back.

He wants to watch her as she comes with him inside her. She knows he doesn’t want to miss a second, but she needs the same from him, and even before her body’s completely finished its release, she’s moving, grinding slow and hard, as she pushes him higher.

Caleb groans, hands slipping to her hips as he rucks up into her, chest heaving as he pants. He looks frantic, eyes darting everywhere—her eyes, the flushed tips of her breasts, between her legs where they’re joined so intimately.

She runs her nails over his chest, faint lines marking his pale chest as he whimpers. She thinks he must be close. He looks… almost lost, but his body is fire-hot, and he’s so hard and thick inside of her that he’s almost too much to take.

Caleb lets out a shaky breath, cool fingers trailing over her skin before pressing low on her stomach. She pouts prettily as he teases her, body shimmying as he finally asks, “Can I… inside you?”

Her eyelids flutter, her body twisting in response to his sweet erotic entreat, and she can’t help but tease him. “Can you what, inside me?”

Caleb groans, fingers digging into her hips as he pants. “Come. I need to come.”

“Inside me?” she whimpers, breathless with her anticipation.

“God, yes. Please.”

Her head rolls back. It shouldn’t turn her on so much to hear him beg, but it does… God, does it ever. To tease them both, Emme shimmies atop Caleb, pressing him so tight and deep that they groan in unison.

He gasps her name, throat tight as his head rolls back. She loves that.

“Caleb… use me.”

“Wh-at? How?” he asks, breathless, needy, and edging closer and closer to his release. And she’ll give it to him, but only if he gives her what she wants first.

“Use your Evol.”

“My Evol?” he sputters.

She gives him a look. “Don’t pretend like you’ve never thought about what it would be like. I’ve thought about what it would be like.”

Caleb swallows thickly. “I won’t last.”

“I don’t want you to. All I want is for you to give me what I want and take what you need.”

His eyes are dark, heavy-lidded, and almost haunted as he stares up at her, as thunderstruck as if he’s beholding a goddess. And then… his power softly swirls against her skin, as light as a feather before it wraps around her tight.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

He guides her, looking so beside himself that she almost feels bad, at least, until his wrist flicks and he drags her up until only the thick tip of him is pressing against her opening. One breath, one impossibly long pause, one needful moment stretches between them, until he lets her drop.

She groans as his length is quickly sheathed inside of her, her body canting forward before she can completely catch herself.

“Caleb,” she gasps his name.

He’s got her close again. So close that she can feel the pleasure tingling at the small of her back, in the tips of her nipples, in the sweet space between her thighs that he’s pressing up against—so hot, so hard, so tight.

With his cool hand possessively gripping the back of her neck, and her fingers curled into the tight muscles of his abdomen, Emme throws her head back, rolls her hips, and bounces hard on his length. In and out. In and out. In and out. She loses herself in a rhythm that’s just for the two of them.

It’s exactly what they want, and as she presses down hard, he rolls his hips to meet her, and it’s so much more than enough.

“Ahh… Caleb!”

“Baby…!”

Caleb moans and his hands clutch desperately at her as he pulls, holding her tight as he rolls his hips, grinding into her and enhancing the moment for them both. And with their bodies connected, and their powers blended, everything narrows to a point… before breathlessly expanding. Nothing remains but the wet-hot feel of their pleasure.

Finally, soft moans escape them in unison as the pleasure slowly subsides. Emme dips close, forehead pressing against his as they pant hard. His eyes are closed, brow furrowed. A tear escapes from behind his lashes, dripping along his cheek as she watches, half-dazed and entirely entranced.

“God.” His voice sounds choked, and Emme’s heart clenches, fingers softly brushing away his tears, even though he’s still half-hard inside of her.

“Are… you okay?” Maybe she hurt him? She did kind of lose herself at the end there…

Caleb chokes out a laugh. “I just… am having a hard time believing this is real, Pip-squeak.”

“Oh.”

Decades of knowing each other better than anyone else. Years and years of heartache, of wanting, of almosts and not quites. Now, they’re as close as two people can be and she feels… she feels… so weightless. So free. So right.

So, she tells him that. Tells him that she never wants to lose this—to lose him. Tells him everything she’s ever been too afraid to say, and then tells him how much she loves him, how painfully.

“It hurts, you know. To love someone this much. I think… I’ve always been afraid that I could lose you. And then, I did lose you.”

“Mmm,” he softly breathes. “I’m here now.”

“Forever?”

“No matter what happens, I’ll always find my way back to you.”

“Good,” she comments softly while resting her head on his chest. The sound of his still-frantic heartbeat fills her heart, soothing her as she continues, “You’re mine. You can only leave me if you have my say so, and you never will.”

She can feel Caleb’s shaky breath against her cheek. “And what about you?”

“What about me?”

Caleb urges her head up and back so she’s staring him straight in the eye. “Are you mine?”

“Caleb,” she replies, voice chiding. “You’re still inside me.”

“And?”

“And, what? If this isn’t a big deal to you, maybe I should wonder about how many times you’ve done this with other girls. I guess, you didn’t always call me to play the girlfriend, after all?”

He frowns, and quick as a flash, he’s got her on her back. He presses in, body hardening in response to the movement or maybe the way he’s got her splayed, arms above her head, hair spilled across the sheets, hips subtly shifting beneath him.

“There’s no one else in the world that I’ve ever wanted. No one I’d ever want to do this with other than you.”

“Then you need to hear me say it?” she asks while arcing her back, body shimmying back into his soft thrust.

“So badly.”

So needy… she thinks, but she doesn’t mind. She’s just the same, but part of her heart will always want to tease him, just a little. He’s her Caleb. She doesn’t want things to change completely, she just wants more and more and more. Her greedy heart asking for everything and still expecting more.

His eyes flutter, body rocking as his length hardens anew. It would be so easy to get distracted, but she’s not gonna chicken out now.

“I’ve loved you since the first moment we met when were kids. You’ve always been mine, and I’ve always been yours. For me, it’s always been you. Always and forever.”

His eyes close and he grins. Emme thinks she’s never seen him look quite so happy before, nor so free.

“Good. I think… I couldn’t handle it if it were any other way.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry because we belong to each other now and… ahh…”Her words trail off as Caleb’s body shifts, distracting her as he stirs within.

“I missed my evening workout,” he drawls.

Emme twists her hips, back arching as she purrs, “Well, get to it, then. Can’t have you slacking off now.”

“That a challenge, Pip-squeak?”

“Of course.”

His lip curls into a smug smile. “Well, let’s see who laughin’ by the end of this.”

And Emme, well, she’s not laughing. Screaming, crying out his name, begging for more? Yeah, that’s pretty much exactly it. By the time they’re finished with each other, limbs entangled, bodies hot, slick with sweat and desire, she’s well and truly tired.

“Feels like every single muscle in my body is sore.”

“You askin’ for a massage?”

“Mmm, a shower. Then sleep.”

“And then…?”

“You’re not slacking off, are you, Caleb?”

A soft laugh rolls up from his chest. “You’re so greedy,” he murmurs, hand tracing a path down her neck, over the soft curve of her breast before pressing low on her abdomen. “Especially here.”

She whimpers softly, and it’s almost as if she can still feel him inside of her, the phantom press of his thick length as he possesses her completely.

“Stop complaining.”

He shakes his head, damp tendrils sticking against his brow as he murmurs, “We both know, I’ll always give you everything that you want. So, shower first, Pip-squeak.”

“And then?”

“Once I’ve got you cleaned up,” he says, fingers skimming along the slick line of her sex. “I’ll get you messy all over again.”

If she wasn’t so damn tired, she’d have hoped right back on him and gotten him just as messy, but he’d loved her so completely, that Emme wasn’t certain she’d be able to walk, let alone ride him. But later… later… she’d have him. And he’d have her.

And he’d fill the needy spaces of her heart, just as she’d fill his, and together, they’d become whole—again and again, as many times as needed, for a hundred years, a thousand… forever and a day.

Author’s Notes:

HAHAHA I want to be clear that I got the idea before this BEFORE I saw Caleb’s new card, but now I’m smug about it because it’s actually IC for him to have security footage of her lmao. ANYWAY. This is loosely based son some great fan art I saw that has caleb mcfuckin loosing it at the laundry mat when he finds some sexy red panties. God bless fan artists, fr fr. Also, I am very certain I’m not the first nor I hope the last to write ‘Caleb is a panty sniffer’ fic but LMAO. I couldn’t stop myself. I MEAN THAT LITERALLY fingers just go go go of their own accord.

This is paraphrased from some in-game dialogue:

His face rubs against her wrist, words halting as he says, “Is that an order…?”

“Do I have the authority to command you?”

“Mmm… absolutely.”

“Then yes, it’s an order.”

This kind of skips around, not that I’m writing rationally here (literally just writing what I feel like I need to write to keep myself from going insane haha), but I still have some more planned for these two. Things are probably gonna get a lot busier, but I’ll see what I can fit in. Thanks so much for all of your support and for being so kind. Any mistakes are there because I need to keep humble lol.

Banner courtesy of cafekitsune!

[theoldsports]

Hey!! What are your thoughts on tashiart? I personally have strong thoughts about it (sad for art) but I’m curious to know what you think about their relationship? Love the Sorry series and can’t wait to read more!!

they’re awful for each other. though, i love a codependent mess. but/and both of them suck a little bit and i love that. i feel sorry for Art in a way, but also so sorry for Tashi. she lost her whole world and had to find any other way into tennis. she is tennis. can’t just cheat on your spouse, though. even if he’s a manipulative asshole sometimes. been wondering if Lily’s biologically Art’s kid as well. interesting thought.

i wonder if a crushed, but confident Art leaves Tashi after the challenger. i almost expect it. but share custody would ensure continued and messy exposure to each other for… forever.

they are unbalanced together, but delicious in a way. morbidly interesting awful people that i adore. Patrick helps the balance. he also throw it. it’s like those magnetic toys you have to balance just right so all the metallic balls stay in the air.