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lareinenoir · 3 years

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THE PURGE; Sanctuary C.E x black reader

PT III

60 Days Until The Purge

THEN...

"I'll order take out. I know you like Thai-"

"Don't order anything. I'm actually not even hungry." You said as he took your bag and put it on his shoulder. "What?" He was looking at you weird and it made you frown.

"Where's the rest of your stuff?"

"You asked me to stay the night. That is my overnight bag." You replied folding your arms and walking over to the couch. Your hand touched your forehead and you sighed. You could still feel him looking at you as you tried to relax with your head leaned back. "After I tell Shonda about our situation, you're signing the papers."

"What do you mean-"

"You know what I mean." You shot back

"Ok, well theirs a lot to consider now." He motioned to your stomach and you sat up straight. "We're having a baby, now."

"No no no." You shook your head feeling your petty insides bubble a bit in sarcasm. "I'm having a baby. Me. Just me.”

"Obviously I want to be apart of our baby's life." Chris argued back and you frowned and scoffed. He put your bag down and crossed his arms as you brushed it off. "You can't seriously think I won't. V that's insane."

"You wanna know what's insane? You think you're gonna get anywhere near it. Why in the hell would I allow you and your broken promises anywhere near my child? Do you think I'm stupid? To make the same mistake twice!"

"Again? V what do you want me to do?" He asks throwing his hands up. "Acting is what I do, that's my job-"

"I don't care about that. I'm not asking you to chose your job or me-"

"It damn well near sounds like it. I would never make you choose." He countered back and you gripped your fists together.

"You may not have said it directly, but there have been many times where you have indirectly patronized me. I just found out I'm pregnant and I have been trying so hard to deal with it." you replied watching him pace back and forth and shake his head. "I have been getting the worst headaches, I can't keep any food down and I literally get lightheaded on set every single day because hiding my pregnancy has been a real joy ride." You replied sarcastically with a small chuckle

"What do you want me to do? I tell you to tell the producers, you get mad. I tell you to take a break, you get mad. I tell you to come over and you’re mad.” Chris said in disbelief. “I don't know what you want from me." He shrugs brushing the hair from his eyes.

"Not once since you found out have you asked me how I'm doing? My whole career is at risk I could lose my job. And you don't even seem to care.” You said

"V, I do care." He reached for your shoulder and you took in another breath. "I want you to stop worrying all the time. And you're right, I should be concerned more about you. I should be there for you-I should've been there for you in the beginning.” He admitted and you folded your lips again.

Are For real this time? Should I let it go and move past it? Again? No because it'll start all over again.

"This baby is mine. This is a life changing thing that's happening, I can't let you ruin it too." You spoke

" I'm taking responsibility because this is something I want. Ok? Can't we find some common ground? You of all people should know what it's like to grow up without a father!"

"You know too!" You shouted back. Chris' dad had died when he was younger. He talked about him sometimes but not as much. "I'd rather have had my father six feet under then to have him choosing when it's convenient for him to show up!" You said with your foot down shaking your head.

"Forget the divorce. Me and you living here happily married for the years to come. Whats so bad about that? Why can't I have that? What's so wrong with the picture of two parents raising a child?" His voice was loud and he was getting frustrated. He didn't shout, but you could tell how passionate he was about it. He always wanted to be a daddy, a parent. "Huh?"

"It's not just about you!" You said stepping closer. "Because..." You shrugged feeling your eyes water as you suck in your cheeks. "I knew the kind of man I was marrying. So involved with his job it took him almost fifteen years to actually start dating. It's not about you or your career. This baby is all I have right now.”

He looked confused as he relaxed his brow and pinched the bridge of his nose. From two feet away you could feel his heartbeat and you felt a little bad for how foolish you probably looked. You still loved him, not like you ever stopped, but you remembered that you still loved him.

Because, it's not about me either anymore. You thought

"Forget the papers okay..." You said swallowing your own pride. "just forget it. You’re right. I want our child to have two parents who will love him unconditionally. But it has to stop, because it takes two. I can't have you with one foot in the door." You admitted

“Yeah yeah.” He nodded “yeah I get that. I’m not going anywhere.” Chris said and you walked forward and took his hand kissing his palm as you placed it on the side of your face. “I promise V.” He cups your face and stares into your eyes. His stubble poking at you a bit as you held his wrists.

“I love you.” You said with a small smile

“Still?” He laughed making you roll your eyes as you giggled a little. “I love you too. Are you sure you aren’t hungry?” He asks again

“Yes.” You nodded “now shut up and come take a nap with me.”

NOW....

CHRIS POV**

“Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!” I said throwing the phone on the couch. I had called five times and her phone went straight to voicemail.

“This is not a test, this is your Emergency Broadcast System. Announcing the commencement of the annual purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government. ALL Weapons have been authorized for use during the purge. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime (including murder) will be legal for 121 days. Police, fire, and Emergency Medical services will be unavailable until December 15, 12:00 o’clock midnight, when the purge concludes. Blessed be our new founding fathers and America... A nation reborn. May God be with you all.”

My tv was replayed the message nine more times before shutting off. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Today is august 15, Vanessa’s birthday is tomorrow which was when she’d be 17 weeks. We had marked it on the calendar together. More than half my wife’s pregnancy would be spent during the purge. I needed to find her!

I didn’t support the purge. Something about killing people to be “cleansed” just didn’t sit right in my gut. It made my heart ache thinking about the clean up at the end. I could bring Dodger, but he can only do so much. Maybe he could help track her scent. Grabbing my coat I folded my lips together.

“Fuck!” I shout

With what weapon? How was I going to run the streets looking for my wife without a gun? I loved the idea of owning one, but Vanessa made me swear not to bring one in the house if she was there. So I just dropped the idea. Looking in the kitchen I grabbed one of the Chef knives off the rack. Maybe this would be enough for now...

“Damnit!” I curse looking at Dodger. “She said she was at Topanga Park. Start there?” I asked, as if he’d answer back. I grabbed her bonnet from off the bathroom door handle and stuffed it in my backpack.

I didn’t hesitate l. I locked up everything and jumped inside my truck. Dodger sat on the passenger side and I felt my hands start to shake as I put my foot on the gas. I started to promise god I would go to church if he would keep her safe.

“I don’t even know if you’re even listening or you even care. I love her, I’ve been such and idiot and I don’t wanna lose her.” I looked at Dodger and he was sitting up straight. “I remember you didn’t like her. You wouldn’t let her anywhere near me, you bark and squeeze yourself in between us when we sat down in the room to watch movies.” I chuckle wiping the little tear that slipped from my eye “You stole one of her wigs too.”

“WHAT THE FUCK!” she shouted chasing you around the house. “DODGER GIVE IT BACK! COME BACK!”

We chased him around the house and Dodger thought it was some sort of game. We had been officially dating for a month. I had started laughing when I caught him and held her headband wig in my hand. She stood their with her arms folded while I petted his head and she rolled her eyes.

"I told you he doesn't like me." She said as I stood up and she took the wig from my hand.

"Come on, he's just getting used to you."

"I've been over here every day. Your dog hates me."

"What?" I tilted my head to the side and touch her nose with my index finger. "Deal breaker? If my dog doesn't like my girlfriend, I'm gonna dump her? Tell me where that makes sense."

She walked closer to me and wrapped her arms around my waist looking up at the ceiling as I kissed her neck. "I guess you have a point." Vanessa sighed.

"He's just warming up to you that's all."

"What's stopping me from breaking up with you?"

"Over a dog?"

"This is his third assault against me. First it was tearing up my purse, then chewing up my crocs, not to mention the little shit I found inside of them. And now stealing my wig and playing cat and mouse." Said Vanessa as I rested my head on top of hers. "Luckily this is a backup wig."

“Aren’t you wearing one right now?” I asked

“Headband wig. And that wig your dog has destroyed,” she gave him the side eye “it was my favorite and expensive.” She gritted her teeth

“I’ll buy you another one.” I offered

She purses her lips and shook her head. “I don’t want you buying me anything. I’ll just break up with you. For real this time.”

"Fine then..." I baited her shrugging my shoulders. "Break up with me."

“Over a dog?” She frowns mocking me as I smile down at her and her eyebrows bend downward a little as she caressed my face. Her finger was gentle and she stood on her top toes and kissed my lips. “Never.”

...

I look over at Dodger and pat his head. "We'll find her. I know we will." I say trying to lift my spirits.

When we arrived to Topanga Park, it was a sight. I didn't even want to leave the truck. I felt my heart race a little more. "What the hell..."

In the middle of traffic-in between the cars were bodies. Dodger started barking at the train of blood that stained the streets. It was empty, but I could feel a heavy weight on my back. Walking behind me, next to me...it was all around me. I hadn't realized I had my hand over my mouth an nose, it was hard for me to breath as the stench of dead bodies. Dodger kept barking and that led to me chasing after him. I had her bonnet in one hand and I called after him.

I came to a halt when I came face to face with another person. He had Dodger in his hands and I felt my muscle tense up. He was tall and very familiar looking. I swallowed the lump in my throat and held the kitchen knife in my hand with a firm grip.

"Captain America?"

I tilted my head sideways and licked my lower lip narrowing my brow a little. "Yeah, give me the dog and we can go our separate ways. Ok?"

He nodded his head. He ran his fingers through his hair and put the dog down. I wasn't really concerned about who he was I was trying to prepare for a fight. He dropped his gun on the ground and held up his his hand.

"I'm not going to kill you. I'm looking for my wife." He said "She left her watch in that building." He pointed to the school and slowly pulled the watch from his pocket.

"In there?" I asked

"Yeah." He nodded, but I still couldn't shake the feeling I knew him from somewhere. "My name is Jared. My wife's name is Gianne, I'm pretty sure she was with someone else-are you looking for someone too? Maybe we could help each other. There was something written on the chalkboard in there, I wasn't something Gia would write, but she was here. All I wanna do is find her-"

"Supernatural?" I asked turning my head to the side. Vanessa loved that show. Whenever she had spare time she would watch it or on those many night she'd spend the night at my house we would watch it-well not really watch it. The Netflix and 'chill' was emphasized. "You said something about some sort of message on the wall?" I asked motioning with my hand. "what did it say?"

"um, CE equals BE or something like that." He shrugged

I laughed a little. Vanessa Evans plus Chris Evans equals Baby Evans. It was a stupid joke-an Easter egg if you will. Shonda put in the show on the whiteboard in one of our love scenes as a way to announce our pregnancy to the audience. She often left clues to the next episode in every episode except this one was not only in the show but in real life.

"Chris Evans." I say extending my hand out to him. I'm pretty sure he knew by the little smile playing on his face. He shook my hand and nodded his head.

"I know. I'm a big marvel fan, I know all your lines." Jared chuckled and then cleared his throat as he nervously laughed. "Nice to meet you. I'm Jared Padalecki - I know I said that already..."

I introduced him to Dodger and I felt a little more relaxed. I gathered that she was alive and we both came to the assumption that they were traveling together.

"Where do you think their headed?" I asked as we walked to his car which was tricked out and full of ammunition and guns. Not to mention government level protective gear.

"While I was in there, I picked up someone else. Heavy footed and big, traveling with dogs. Hair everywhere." He went on tossing me a bullet proof vest. "You heard of Sanctuary?"

"The safety place? Yeah, but it's hard to find. It's for people who get caught in the Purge right?"

He narrowed his brow and shook his head. "No." Said Jared sharply. "Sanctuary is a secret government funded task force. It started off as a conspiracy some myth to explain all the random disappearances throughout the year. It's a government project designed for population control." He went on

"Ok...what does that have anything to do with the Purge?"

"Everything. An organization designed to control the US population. We're talking Pro killers who were once on a leash, but when that horn sounded and the Purge began, they are just as free to kill anyone they want." Said Jared handing me an ipad. It was a list of celebrities. From pro athletes like Steph Curry and their immediate families to movie stars and singers like Rhianna and Tom Cruise. "There are rumors that they are hunting celebrities. The kardashians and Jenner's are fair game. If not the stars themselves then they choose their parents, brothers and sisters."

"And do what?" I asked quietly as I saw mine and Vanesssa picture

"Most get auctioned off to the highest bidder, I've also heard they kill them on the spot for money or bring them in to fight for the death. Bottom line, there is a bounty on our heads. During the Purge everyone is fair game, their is no protection."

"You're telling me she's out there being hunted by them right now?" I asked

“Possibly. The dog hair isn’t a breed we know. They are a combination of hunting canines, bloodhound, foxhound, Labrador retriever with the built and aggression of a something like a pit bull a Rottweiler.” Said Jared as I looked up from the iPad and gave it back. “You’re gonna need more than a kitchen knife. We find the dogs and the hunter and we’ll find them.”

He held a gun out to me and wiped my mouth with the palm of my hand trying to mentally prepare for what is to come."

“Do you believe in the Purge?” I asked still questioning why his car was full of weapons. “You kill people?”

He nodded his head. “Yes. I don’t believe in hiding or waiting for someone to kill me. We all have the right to Purge."

"What's stopping you from killing me?"

Jared sighed and shook his head. "I'm hunting them. I'm surviving and if you decide to threaten my survival, then I'll kill you." He went over to the driver side of his Ford charger. "Get in. Knowing Gia she is headed for Roberts hole."

"What's that?" I asked climbing in the passenger seat of the car.

“It’s a Cassino for celebrities. Jack Black owns it. It’s locked up right but open to his favorites during the Purge.”

“They’ll be there?”

“Relax.” He out his hand in my shoulder and looked at me as dodger sat in the back seat. “We will find them. You know how to shoot don’t you?” Jared raised his gun in the air and nodded my head.

I guess it wasn’t confidently and he chuckled. “Vanessa isn’t a fan of guns.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll practice. Ok?”

A/N: Sorry it took so long😬 don’t hate me, please. Lol, I hope everyone is doing well and safe out here. If you wanna be tagged leave it in the ask box, Anyways…Untill next time!

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soradragon · 4 years

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I have a reauest if you have the time! Shinsou and Reader where Reader isn't scared of Shinsou's quirk and talks to him a lot and Shinsou is like "Nice person? Is this love?" (Tbh, I'd rather it end with just friends, but if you want romance then go for it) PS: Will you write for female characters if it isn't romantic?

Soup To Heal The Aches

~summary~

You were very odd in Shinso’s eyes. A transfer student who’s not even in his class keeps seeking him out to hang out. And you don’t seem to be afraid of him. After finding out you just want to be his friend, he has come to welcome your presence. Making his life brighter. Until one day you suddenly don’t show up.

Thank you for your request my dear @kawayuni !! I absolutely loved writing this fic!! And yes! I’ll write for female characters if it’s platonic like friendship! I also write for characters without reader like for example a fic about baku squad hanging out at the beach for example!

This is a platonic x reader fic but you can also see it as romantical however you wanna see it! ^^

Anyway! Come chat with me about fun things or story ideas! my box and dms are always open for you guys!

Warnings; angst with a happy end!

Shinso x gender neutral reader (in what way is for you to decide!^^)

Check out my main masterlist if you liked what you read!

If you want to be tagged in the next upcomming fic don’be afraid to ask me!^^

Please leave a little comment or reblog to let me know you liked it! I greatly appreciate it!^^

Anyway, enjoy^^

~~~~

You were a mystery to him, an odd, peculiar student, you were so different from the rest, a big contrast to the other students.

Ever since you transferred to UA, you've been stuck to Shinso like glue, going to him with all your questions, sitting next to him in lunches etc. Which was quite strange since the two of you were not in the same class. You could have gone to any of your classmates, some even went up to you to offer their help. Yet you politely reclined most of them and went towards Shinso.

You weren't annoying him or crossing some boundaries of his - you've asked if what it was ok if you sat next to him or talked to him, he didn't mind - it just left him confused is all.

After all, you knew what he was capable of, knew that he could use his quirk on you any time he wanted. Yet still, you talked with him, running up to him when you found him admits the horde of students wandering through the hall only to chat and actually listen to his opinions.

One day, he had asked you why you gravitated towards him when there are so many others you could be hanging out with.

Your response was quite unexpected: Your head had shot up from your lunch, staring at him as if he had just grown five separate heads.

"What..?" you had asked, thinking you hadn't heard him correctly Shinso repeated the question. After a moment of rapid blinking, you started to pout, frowning at your shoes you spoke, "is it so wrong that I just feel comfortable around you? You're nice and easy to talk to, can't that be enough reason to want to be your friend?"

Your words had surprised him, he had to admit. Your reasoning was simple and straightforward, leaving no room for doubt, it left him with a warm feeling. Not that cliche, warm, fluttery feeling characters out of a novel get when they fall in love. No, it didn't feel like that, it was the kind of warmth people get when they finally found someone who understands them, a friend who was trustworthy and wouldn't leave till the end of time.

It was new... but a good kind of new.

A couple of months passed, and he had started to accept the fact that you were his friend now. Hanging out most days when both of you were free.

You sitting in the support class gave you more freedom then Shinso. Thus when he wasn't free because of the amounts of homework he had to do, you would come over to help him out, sitting on his bed while he sat at his desk, mulling over the questions.

While your feet would dangle in a childlike enthusiasm, you gave him some good points and observations when Shinso was stuck, opening his eyes to different views he hadn't thought of before.

Shinso had become so accustomed of you being next to him that he couldn't think of a future without you by his side. Which is why he now was at such a loss.

Normally, you would already sit at your usual table at lunch, waiting for him. But when Shinso arrived at the cafeteria, he couldn't find your excited self waving at him. He checked his phone; no messages from you.

...Odd...

Shinso had pushed it to the side though, thinking you were held up by your lecture and you couldn't message him because of reasons. That had to be it.

He convinced himself that it was nothing and took a seat at your usual table, deciding switch things up and wait for you instead.

Surely you would arrive shortly.

You didn't come...

Shinso was more than confused, a bit hurt even.

Why didn't you show up? Did he do something wrong? Didn't you want to be friends anymore?

His thoughts went immediately to the worst, frowning he pushed down. That couldn't be... Surely there was an explanation.

Slight dread pooled inside his stomach, yet he pushed on. Convincing himself you were just busy a-and forgot to tell him, yeah, that got to be it.

Shinsou ruffled his hair to shake him from his doubts.

A thing you used to do when you knew Shinso was getting stressed, doing it himself didn't soothe him like when you did it. It just felt empty.

Shinso shook his head, deciding to wait and see. You would probably meet him when school ends for your daily hangouts, apologizing a hundred times for missing lunch together.

Shinso smirked, thinking about how he could tease you for making him concerned wait.

But when the time came, you weren't there.

Now worry really started to set in.

Did he scare you off? Surely he didn't, you firmly told him you didn't mind him and his quirk.

Did he anger you in some way? That couldn't be it either, you were not one to avoid someone after a conflict, trying to resolve it instead.

So many thoughts flooded inside Shinso's mind, each one he had a counter for except one...

You didn't care for him anymore, you didn't want to be friends anymore...

That set his mind in a destructive path, all kind of emotions swirled inside of him, he wanted to cry, panic, scream, find you, run away, so many he couldn't keep up.

It hurt.

His chest ached, his brain stopped working, it was just a blank space except for a couple words:

It was his fault.

He didn't notice it, but he had slumped down on a bench, staring at nothing while gripping his head.

Where did he go wrong? Everywhere, of course, why else would you leave. He was broken, awkward and unsocial. You must have gotten sick of his angst, must have gotten sick of his quiet self. Stupid, of course, you left. You deserved friends so much better then he could ever be.

A sudden tap on Shinso's shoulder woke him up, he shot his head up only one word stumbling out of his mouth in the sudden awakening from his trance.

"Huh...?"

It was a student, one he didn't recognize though.

They panted while trying to form words.

"A-are you...called...Shinsu...?"

Shinso stared at the student for a moment, not fully grasping the situation before nodding slightly. The slip up of his name going unnoticed to Shinso.

The student let out a sigh of relief, "thank god, you have no idea how hard it is to find you, I've been searching for you the entire day."

He said after catching his breath, grinning victoriously to himself like he just won the lottery.

"Y/N told me you wouldn't be hard to miss, boy were they wrong! Doesn't matter, now I'll get free food for a week!"

The boy laughed to himself, but Shinso didn't pay him any attention, your name echoed inside his head.

"Y/N..?"

Shinso asked hesitantly, looking up slightly unsure.

The boy nodded vigorously, "yes! They asked me to find you and tell you They couldn't meet up today since they're sick! Aaand... their phone fell in the toilet...That phone still smells like the fish from last night..."

"Sick...?"

"Yeah, there was something wrong in Y/N's food."

"Where are they now?"

"In bed at the campus, dude - hey, where are you going?"

The boy called out with confusion laced in his voice as Shinso rushed towards the dorm without giving the boy a thank you.

His mind was somewhere else, concerned thoughts of you circled around his mind he had to go to you and see if you were ok.

*(*)*(*)*

You were rudely awakened from your sleep by a soft knock on the door. You groaned as you rubbed your heavy eyes, "mgnnn...come in..."

The door was slammed open not a second later - which was not good for your searing headache - a worried Shinso barged in afterwards.

At least he had the mind to close the door softly before rushing to your side.

"Hey Y/N..."

Shinso mumbled softly, brushing some damp hair out of your face.

You squinted up at him, he had a soft smile on his face and a paper bag in his other hand.

"...Why do you look like you've run a marathon...?"

You slurred out weakly, making Shinso laugh, "well, I kinda did," he said, gesturing to the bag in his hand. "Had to get some necessary items to help fix you up. Want some soup?"

Your eyes slightly widened as you watched Shinso turn around towards your little kitchen. (It wasn't really a kitchen, it only had a sink, a small refrigerator and a microwave)

"You don't have to do that...Don't you have homework to worry about...?"

You tried to call out to him, but your voice was too hoarse to make much sound. Luckily he heard you, turning his head to look over his shoulder. Shinso smirked, bringing a finger to his lips, "don't strain your voice Y/N, you should be resting."

Oh, he could be such a jerk sometimes.

"Don't give me that look Y/N, I came as fast as I could when I heard you were sick."

You frowned. "Didn't Taka tell you not to worry...?"

"Heh, he probably did, but I hurried here when he said the words 'sick' and 'you'. It was all I needed."

Shinso chuckled to himself as he put the canned soup in the microwave. Leaning against the counter to watch you.

"And I'm not going until the fever breaks," he said before smirking. "Or when the teachers finally manage to drag me out of your room."

You groaned, burying yourself deeper into the blankets, the only reasonable thing in this room apparently.

Shinso snorted at your antics before grabbing a bowl out of the cupboard when the microwave started to beep. He carefully grabbed the can out of the microwave, remembering all the times he burned his fingers because he wasn't careful enough.

It was too many times for his taste. (You love to tease him about it every now and again.)

Shinso moderately poured - to avoid spilling the hot substance onto the counter - the soup into the bowl, adding a spoon soon after.

Shinso smiled at his creation, satisfied with his cooking skills he brought it to you.

"Wakey, wakey sleepyhead. Got some food."

Shinso said, poking you softly to help wake you up. You groaned in response, sitting up you looked at him with a dazed expression and coloured cheeks.

"Huh...? Waa...?" You mumbled, Shinso snorted at your coherent speech.

"Got food," he said, holding up the bowl as proof. "Can you eat yourself, or do I need to feed you?"

You glared at him, wishing you had enough strength to slap that smirk off his face. But alas, the revenge plan would need to come later.

"...Could you be anymore blunt..." You mumbled under your breath, glaring at the bowl of soup in Shinso's hand.

The man in question just sniggered, offering you the bowl as he spoke, "well, not to fret, you've still got your snark." Your glare had become even fiercer. "That's some good news at the very least."

"...Go to the moon..." You replied after taking a spoonful of soup.

Shinso's smirk got even wider, "I would love to for you Y/N, but first I'm going to take care of you. Maybe try that request again later."

You grumbled under your breath as you continued eating, refusing to look at him. Your blanket was far more interesting than his stupid teasing smirk.

Shinso grabbed a stool to sit next to you, watching as you ate the soup in your hands, continuing to ignore him.

Shinso's smirk turned soft as he watched you.

It felt good, the teasing and comfortable atmosphere hanging around the two of you, he wouldn't have it any other way.

It just felt right.

The dynamic you both have is something Shinso treasures dearly, a friend like you will only appear once in a lifetime. He's glad he's found you, his world has become a lot brighter thanks to your presence.

You looked up from your bowl, which startled Shinso out of his trance. He tilted his head when you glanced towards him with a calculating expression.

"Hm?"

You smiled, "...oh, it's nothing...I was just thinking..."

"Thinking?"

"...Yeah...I think I'm just very grateful you came instead of going to your own dorm...I think...I would've been a bit lonely without you here, so...Thank you for not listening to my advice..."

Shinso's eyes widened considerably, gawking at your smile. Although you looked sick, Shinso thought your smile was radiant.

Yeah, Shinso felt like the luckiest person in the world.

~~~~

Thank you for reading! And keep soaring high!^^

~~~~

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thebmatt · 3 years

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FFXIV Write 2021 Prompt #25: Silver Lining

Silver Lining – an advantage that comes from a difficult or unpleasant situation

The date had snuck up on him.

Dahkar rolled out of bed feeling grumpy and for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why. He had no plans for the day, no diplomatic engagements that he would have to suffer through, no foes to deal with, no responsibilities he found boring. The day was his to do with as he pleased.

So why did the prospect of leaving his room seem so daunting, so pointless?

Something tugged at his mind, a nagging feeling that he was forgetting something. He looked over to the calendar on his wall, a simple one that Tataru insisted all of their rooms in the Rising Stones have.

Oh.

It was the anniversary….of the day the man he loved died.

Shite.

He’d forgotten. With everything that had been going on, he’d somehow let himself forget that the worst day of his life was approaching.

He’d forgotten him.

No you haven’t

He groaned and flopped back first onto his bed. I’m really not in the mood for this, Fray.

Too bad. Whether you like it or not, I am a part of you, here when you need me. Right now, you need me.

He rubbed his temples. Can you not just let me be sad and lonely in peace?

Not if you are going to lie to yourself, no.

I’m not lying to myself. I haven’t thought about him in moons what with everything going on. I’ve forgotten him. I almost forgot the anniversary of the day he died. I claim to have loved him, and this is how I’m honoring his memory. I deserve this misery and you damn well know it

Are you done?

Oh will you just fuck off. You told me you didn’t think we’d ever talk like this again and here you are. lying to me.

I told you I didn’t know. I didn’t. I certainly didn’t think you’d tell lies to yourself thinking you needed to be miserable. As if that’s what he would want. As if ‘not thinking about someone constantly’ is the same as forgetting them. What a lode of shite, really. I thought we were smarter than this. Clearly you still need me.

Dahkar scoffed What the hells do you know about what he would have wanted?

Do you really need me to answer that? Or should I say ‘need us’?

Dahkar screamed in frustration, covering his face with his hands to muffle the sound.

Feel better?

No, but since you seem to have all of the answers, what do you suggest I do?

You’re being petulant, and you know it. My suggestions are still you knowing exactly what to do. But if hearing me say it will help you realize it, then fine. Get up, get dressed, go to his grave, leave some of those lilies, and tell him how much we love him and miss him. And then move forward. We both know he’d be quite cross with the idea of you holding yourself back from real happiness because of what happened to him. So accept it and let yourself love again already.

He sighed. For being my inner darkness, you’re weirdly romantic.

Do I need to drag us back to the Sea of Clouds so you can hear the moogle’s song again, or are you going to accept that because I remember it, you certainly do?

No, Gods no. Fine I’m going. And I’ll….think about the rest

That’s what you’ve already been doing.

Shut it.

A few hours later, Dahkar knelt at Haurchefant’s grave. While he still carried Nothung on his back, he’d eschewed the dark plate armor he normally wore as a Dark Knight, instead donning the mail of a House Fortemps Knight that he’d worn the Grand Melee with the Eorzean Alliance. It felt like a fitting tribute to the man he was here to speak to, even if it was so light he almost felt naked.

“Hey, Haurche. If you’re watching,I reckon you’re probably yelling at me. I’m sorry for letting myself be miserable with sadness. I know you don’t want me to do that. You’d probably tell me something like ‘You have so much love to give, let yourself do so!’. And you’re right. So I’m gonna try my best. There’s actually this girl in the Scions, she-“

The loud CRACK of a flintlock discharging interrupted his words and his side exploded in pain. He screamed and went down.

“Well well well, boys. Look what we got here. Another bleedin’ heretic comin’ to pay respects to his heretic kin.”

The voice was young, male, angry, but strangely somewhat refined. He rolled over to look at his attackers, trying not to cry out at the pain the act caused him. A group of elezen youths, four boys and a single girl, all well dressed too. The leader held a flintlocke, still smoking, pointed at him. “What…” he coughed. “What the hells are you doing? This is no heretic’s grave!”

“Oh it isn’t? Oh, well my mistake then. I thought this was the grave of that bastard Haurchefant Greystone, who brought outsiders into Ishgard that up and utterly destroyed the very foundations our great nation was built on! Now we have another bastard as our leader who let fucking dragons into the city and let the fucking commoners have a voice equal with their betters!” the leader spat, lowering his gun. His cohorts nodded or shouted agreements,

“Ah, I see.” Dahkar spat blood onto the snow, trying to get to his knees so he could at least defend himself. The shot was well placed, though, and he was struggling to overcome the pain of it. “And what might you plan to do if it was?”

“Well first, we’re gonna gut you and spill your blood over this place. Then we’re gonna dig that bastard up, shatter whatever bones he’ s got left in there and spread em around so the beasts can have em, and whatever’s left of you. Then we’ll shatter that stone and toss it in Witchdrop where it belongs. How’s that sound to you, heretic? Don’t answer, we don’t care.”

The group all drew a series of blades, knives and daggers, and slowly advanced on him. Dahkar tried in vain to get to his feet, or at least his knees, any position where he could try to draw his sword and defend himself, but the strain was getting to be too much, and he nearly blacked out. A splitting headache overtook him as he tried to block out the noise in his mind.

Noise that he belatedly realized was a booming voice

GIVE ME CONTROL. LET ME IN, DAHKAR. I CAN END THIS, GIVE ME CONTROL

“WILL YOU SHUT UP, FRAY?” he screamed. He seized the darkness within himself and pushed it out, as if trying to excise the voice from his head.

Miraculously, it worked. The yelling stopped. He sensed a growing pool of darkness nearby. Opening his eyes, he looked over. A pool of dark aether had gathered next to him. From it rose a shadowy form of a hyur, glad in black and blue, gold-trimmed armor. On his back was a Deathbringer made of darkness. The Shadow looked to him with glowing red eyes

“Neat trick” it said in his own voice.

The youths had began to back away, screaming threats or oaths. He used that time to reach into the Armory and summoned his plate armor. With a flash of light, it appeared on him, the damaged mail gone. The cuirass clamped down on the would, reducing the blood loss.

The shadow offered him a hand, and he took it, getting back to his feet and drawing Nothung.

“Don’t kill them.” he said to it.

“Mercy? They’d have shown you none.”

“They’re angry and stupid. Everyone should get one chance to move beyond that”

The shadow, Fray, laughed. Or Dahkar did. It was impossible to tell, and in the end it didn’t matter.

Both lept at the elezen youths, who screamed in terror.

#Final Fantasy XIV #FFXIV 2021 Writing Challenge #Dahkar Darkspear #fray myste #or is it really?

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rubberfuckey · 4 years

Text

me & you together song - jj maybank

an: hi!!! here we go again with another jj fic :) as always feedback is appreciated :) this is inspired by the 1975′s “me & you together song”, specifically the bridge; it might not fully go along with the meaning of the actual song since the song is about unrequited love but i put a little fluffy spin on it :) we love a happy ending

here’s a youtube link to the song if you want to check it out

words: 2.3k

warnings: just some swearing, sorry mom

I've been in love with her for ages

And I can't seem to get it right

jj woke you up from your sleep on the pullout couch at the chateau with a chipper “morning sunshine!” as he practically jumped on top of you.

“jj what the hell.” you mumbled as you wiped the drool from the corner of your mouth. you tried to push your messy hair out of your face as jj finally laid down next to you, laying his head on your chest and looking up to you. you knew you were currently at your worst, you drank way more than you intended to at the party last night and don’t even remember getting back to john b’s. your head was spinning as you tried to rub the sleep out of your eyes, adjusting to the bright sunlight.

“what time is it? and how are you so energetic?” you said softly, keeping your eyes closed because your headache was overbearing.

“y/n it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon,” he laughed as he reached up to wipe some of the mascara from under your eye that must’ve smeared during your sleep. you were still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen and at that moment he was glad your eyes were closed so you couldn’t see the look of admiration on his face.

“did you bring that tourist chick back with you last night?” you asked, trying to hide the jealousy in your voice and dreading his response.

“nah, someone had to take care of your drunk ass.” he replied. you, jj, and john b had all been best friends since third grade so you were very familiar with jj’s antics. you knew you loved jj, you were in love with him and had been for as long as you knew what being in love meant. some days you thought, or maybe hoped, that he returned the feeling but every time you got a little closer or touched a little longer, jj ran for the hills and right into the arms of some one night stand. he hated that he did it, but at this point it was like second nature. he was attempting to fill the y/n sized hole in his heart with someone else, it never worked but he’d be damned if he stopped stubbornly trying. it was a vicious cycle at this point, jj finds some girl to go home with and you spend the night trying to get drunk enough to forget about it. it never worked.

“sorry you had to be my caretaker.” you huffed, and jj just shook his head.

“anything for you, y/n.” he whispered back quietly, you almost didn’t hear him.

I fell in love with her in stages

little 8 year old jj was a hell raiser. 8 year old y/n? the complete opposite. you were soft spoken and incredibly kind for someone so young. when you first met jj, you were at recess sitting under a tree with some of your other classmates. you watched as the boys ran around, not caring how dirty and sweaty they got under the hot august sun. when one of the other girls started laughing at jj for tripping over his own two feet, you jumped up and ran over to him to see if he was okay. he shrugged you off, embarrassed at the fact that he fell on his ass in front of your entire class. he tried to get up from where he laid on the pavement, but you shoved him back down when you saw the scrape on his knee, and patted the blood up with the napkin from your lunchbox until your teacher came over to take him to the nurse. every kid in the class laughed, except you. you were different. little jj definitely had a crush.

after john b joined your friendship, you were like just one of the boys. jj’s crush was swept under the rug as you spent every waking moment with the both of them. it wasn’t until puberty started to hit that his crush resurfaced. he can still remember the moment where he looked at you and didn’t see you as y/n/n who’s just ‘one of the guys’. instead you were y/n, an incredibly hot girl jumping around with him on the dock dancing to the radio in just a bikini. from that day he started looking at you differently, but yet again it was swept under the rug as him just being a horny teenager.

when things started to get hard for jj with his dad, you were always there, tending to the wounds both physically and mentally. you cleaned up the cuts and took care of the bruises like you had done when he scraped his knee in third grade. you also didn’t let him shrug off the situation as easily as he could with john b or the other pogues. this wasn’t just ‘something that he’s dealt with before’ or ‘nothing he couldn’t handle’ to you and you held him when he broke down to you about it. you were always strong for him, no matter how bad it hurt to see him in that state. until one particular night where jj had shown up on your doorstep. he looked worse than he ever had and you almost considered calling an ambulance to make sure he was okay. you couldn’t take it, you broke down in sobs at the sight of him. you cleaned him up with tears running down your cheeks and you both held onto each other as if you’d disappear if you let go until you fell asleep together. he woke up the next morning to you holding onto him as tight as you could without hurting him in your sleep. your eyes were puffy and tears were staining your cheeks but you looked so beautiful in the morning light. that’s when jj knew he was in love with you.

My whole life there's been no way for me to say That I've felt a certain way for ages

everyone knew jj was in love with you. everyone knew you were in love with jj. but nobody knew why you two weren’t actually together. whenever anyone ever asked you, you played dumb. “jj? he’s just my best friend! has been forever!” you shot down the conversation before it had even started. jj was good at hiding it too. “come on dude, no pogue on pogue macking!”

he wanted you to know how he felt, but anytime he thought about just ripping the bandaid off the voice in his head stopped him. y/n is like an actual fucking angel. she’d never go for a screw up like you. she deserves more than you could ever give her.

since that morning on the couch two weeks ago, things had been as normal as they can be for you and jj. you woke up at the chateau planning on going out with them to grab a keg from the party later that day. you knew they were both still sleeping so you got up to make whatever food you could find for breakfast for the three of you. settling on some eggs, you cracked them and put them into the frying pan. it was completely silent as you stood over the stove watching them cook until jj snook up behind you. he grabbed you by your waist and picked you up. you yelped and went to smack at his arms that grabbed you but he just laughed and rested his head in between your neck and shoulder.

“j, i think you just gave me a heart attack.”

“what are you making? is there enough for me?” he asked looking up from your shoulder.

“well there was going to be plenty until you scared the shit out of me, now i’m super starving. i think i might eat all these eggs myself.” he laughed, lifting you up onto the counter with ease. he took over cooking the eggs while you sat there in a comfortable silence. he threw some of them on a plate for you and grabbed you a fork. as you sat on the counter eating the eggs, he leaned on the counter standing next to you with his own plate. you both finished eating, joking back and forth about whatever dumb stuff came to mind. he moved in between your legs to grab your plate but stood there for a second. you grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

“i love you. you’re my best friend.” you whispered. you don’t know what came over you or where you got the balls to say something like that but you didn’t regret it. she means as a friend, obviously. you think you’d ever actually have a chance?

“i love you too, y/n.” he whispered back, pulling away from the hug to drop the plate into the sink and go get dressed for the day. you sat on the counter holding back tears at the thought of him not meaning it the way you so desperately wanted him to.

with the keg secured on the beach at the boneyard, you waited for others to show up with kie. she could tell something was up so she pulled you away from the boys to talk to you.

“ok what’s up?” she asked bluntly.

“what are you talking about kie? i’m fine,” you gave her what you thought to be a convincing smile.

“did something happen with jj?”

you sighed and shook your head, “why don’t you believe me when i say there’s nothing going on with me and jj? just drop it, nothing would ever happen between us.” she looked stunned at your outburst as you looked anywhere but towards her.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered “i didn’t mean to be so rude about it.”

“it’s okay” she said back, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. you sat in silence trying to collect your thoughts before you decided to just let it out.

“i told him i love him. and nothing happened. he thought i meant in a best friend way. he’ll never see me as anything more.”

“y/n, come on, it’s jj. i knew that boy was in love with you from the first time i met you.” you just stayed silent, looking out at the ocean.

“pope, will you shut the fuck up about it?”

“no, fuck you jj, i’m tired of this. you love her, she loves you. be a man and go get her.” jj was almost shocked at the outburst from pope as he watched you and kie talk from across the beach.

“how are you so sure about that?” jj asked.

“you’d have to be blind, deaf and stupid to not see it.” john b chimed in.

jj chugged the rest of the beer in his cup and went for another one.

Oh I think our story needs more pages 'Cause I've been in love with her for ages And ages, and ages

you decided after a few drinks that you had had enough. you were tipsy, but not drunk enough to not know what you were doing. jj was sober, giving up on trying to get drunk enough to find interest in the girl standing next to him. he couldn’t stop thinking about this morning. was pope right? did he have a chance? walking away from where you sat on a log with kiara, you grabbed his hand without saying a word and dragged him away from where everyone was.

“thought i’d try to save you, you looked like you were about five seconds away from dying of boredom.” you giggled.

he just nodded, letting out a bitter laugh. the silence between you was awkward as you let go of his hand.

“or maybe you weren’t? i’m sorry if i interrupted.” you questioned.

“y/n what the fuck are we doing?” he asked lowly.

“what do you mean?”

“come on, you know exactly what i mean,” when you didn’t respond he continued, “this morning? what did you mean? and don’t act like you don’t know what i’m talking about.”

you hesitated, “i meant what i said. i love you.”

“yeah, but in like a best friend way, right?” he was avoiding looking at you at all.

“i don’t know, jj. did you want it to mean more? because i know what i said, but it seemed to be different when you said it back.”

“fuck this,” he mumbled under his breath, “y/n i’m so fucking in love with you, and i get it if you don’t feel the same way. i’ve spent years just trying to ignore the feelings because i know it’s selfish for me to want you when i know there’s something who could be bett-”

before he even finished that sentence you pulled him by his neck down to you and kissed him softly. before you could pull away to gauge his reaction, he grabbed your hips and pulled you back into him, instantly deepening the kiss. this was better than either one of you could’ve ever dreamt of it being. he pulled you towards him with his hands on the middle of your back as yours went up into his hair. he turned his head to deepen the kiss and you felt his tongue on your bottom lip before you pulled away, keeping your foreheads together.

“wow,” you panted, “jj-”

“i know.” he replied before you could even get your sentence out.

you smiled harder than you probably ever had before and he mirrored you.

“be my girlfriend.” he looked down, waiting for your response. you felt like you couldn’t form any coherent thought so you just nodded your head rapidly. he laughed at your reaction before lifting you up by your waist and spinning you around, kissing you again.

“let’s go home, j” you whispered, he grabbed your hand pulling you into the direction of the chateau not bothering to say bye to your friends.

#jj maybank #outer banks #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #outer banks imagine

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masterofmaagnetism · 3 years

Note

11 and 28? I would give an f/o but idk who these would fit

[ ohoho fake dating + enemies to lovers i can’t resist ]

[ “Please just pretend to be my date.” (11) and “Please tell me this is a joke.” (28) ]

[ Characters: William Afton, Keegs Arrowood ]

[ warnings: pining and repressed feelings lol ]

“Please just pretend to be my date.”

Keegs stared at his boss, processing what the man just said to him. Did he seriously just ask for Keegs, arguably his worst enemy, to be his date? For a fucking office party that Fazbear Entertainment was holding for restaurant owners? Why couldn’t he just ask Henry???

“Please tell me this is a joke,” the mechanic finally replied, his answer gaining a groan from William. Apparently, it was not.

“We both know I don’t joke with you,” William responded, confirming Keegs’s fears. What kind of stupid, fruity hell had he descended into? What did he do to deserve this? Well, he probably knew.

Keegs let out a long sigh, about to tell him to fuck off before William spoke again. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re my last hope. Henry said no, Scrap would have killed me if I asked, not even your idiot friend Wrath wanted to go.”

Of course he didn’t want to go, Wrath was in love with Splice and would have considered it cheating even if he still hadn’t told the animatronic his feelings.

“I hate you...” Keegs muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why don’t you just go alone? No one will judge you for it, if you even care about that. And the rumour that you’re dating your employee would be worse!”

That seemed to make William think for a moment, opening his mouth for a rebuttal but closing it soon after. His gaze even drifted away- he clearly hadn’t thought about those consequences. After a moment, he shook his head.

“Being alone is more embarrassing.” Keegs let out a loud groan at this, running his hands over his hand and clasping them behind his neck as he turned away from that british fuck.

What made it worse is that he actually kinda wanted to go. Not because he wanted to go with William, but because he hadn’t had an excuse to dress up the entire time he’d been active. A big office party like this? It would be perfect. And it would give him the chance to scope out the other restaurant owners, and test their animatronic knowledge.

He finally turned to face William again, surprised to find the brunette still standing there. He had to admit, it was amusing to see him so desperate. He let out a huff a breath, giving in to the desire to wear a suit.

“Fine,” he said, not missing how his boss immediately lit up (while also somehow seeming disappointed- probably because he officially had to take his most hated employee to a function with him). “One condition.”

Of course he had a fucking condition. William just nodded, not wanting to push his luck. “Do not send anybody my way so they can talk to your “partner”. Tell them I’m socially anxious if you have to, but I will straight up tell them the horrors of this place.”

William’s face scrunched up in discomfort, but relaxed when he realized this was the best he was gonna get. “Deal.”

And so, it was set in stone.

---

Keegs straightened his jacket for what seemed like the hundredth time as he looked in the mirror in his bedroom. He’d have to leave soon; he didn’t want William to know where he lived, so they’d agreed that they’d meet at the Afton house instead.

The suit he wore fit perfectly, and was the same pink shade as his hair. Well, the jacket and slack were. His shoes were black, his shirt a light shade of lavender (to match William’s inevitably purple suit), and the little bowtie he wore was a rainbow eyesore.

With a quick glance at the clock, he ran a hand over his hair, said goodbye to Vanny, and headed out.

William’s house actually wasn’t too far from the apartment Keegs shared with Vanny, but he only came over at midnight and 2am, so it wasn’t like he could be tracked back there, so he never worried. This was the first time he’d ever driven there though, usually just walking.

He paused upon reaching the doorway. Did he really want to do this? And, more importantly, why was he excited to do it? He knew it was more than just a chance to dress up or interrogate some assholes. He didn’t like the metaphorical butterflies in his... well, he doesn’t really have a stomach. His intake?

....

He didn’t like the flutter in his chest when knocked on the door, and heard a familiar voice call out, “coming!” from inside. He especially didn’t like the extra flutter in his chest when the door opened and revealed William, dressed in a purple suit like he thought he’d be, but still surprising him nonetheless.

Apparently, Afton had the same idea Keegs did and was wearing a light pink dress shirt under his dark purple suit jacket, a shade that went perfect with the shade of Keegs’s own jacket.

Neither of them said anything about it, but Keegs couldn’t help but notice the pleased, and surprised, smile on his boss’s face.

“Let’s go,” he quickly said, turning on his heel and heading right back to his car.

---

William looked hilarious with his long limbs folded into Keegs’s volkswagen beetle, the car clearly not built for men as tall as him. It was a sight Keegs would treasure for the rest of his robotic life.

“Comfortable?” Keegs teased, snickering at the glare William shot at him. Thank god they were back to bullying each other, he wasn’t going to acknowledge whatever the fuck happened earlier without dying first.

“Laugh it up Arrowood, I doubt you’ll feel the same way when you’re out of your element,” William replied, narrowing his eyes at Keegs.

Unfortunately, and he’d never admit this, the bastard was right. Social functions weren’t Keegs’s thing. He’d never been good at feigning interest, and that was pretty important at shit like this.

But he just rolled his eyes. At least they’d be out of the car soon.

---

It wasn’t better out of the car.

The building the party was being held in was... crowded. Uncomfortable. Keegs ended up having to stick far closer to William that he’d planned, and whatever fucked up reaction his false human heart was having never let him forget it.

The only up side was that William seemed just as uncomfortable as he was. Not with the people around them, he spoke to them just fine and even seemed to forget about his fake date. That is, until Keegs bumped into him.

Of course he noticed that Afton’s face turned red whenever they touched, but he had no idea why. At first he thought he was angry, but William didn’t look like that when he got angry. Unfortunately, Keegs hadn’t reached the “human bodily reactions” part of his research yet, so it merely served to confuse him.

Finally, after three or four hours, he grabbed William’s arm to get his attention, ignoring the red on the man’s face. “I need a break. I’ll be out back. I probably won’t run.”

There was a short pause, before William took Keegs’s car keys and pocketed them. “You won’t escape me that easily,” the man joked, only because there were people watching. He even threw in a wink for effect.

Keegs just rolled his eyes, and escaped to through the backdoor. He was quick to pull his jacket off, relishing the cool breeze. Once realizing he wouldn’t be going back in for a while, he also untied his tie and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt.

Once satisfied, he sat down on the bottom step of the little stairs, holding his palm against his forehead to cool it down to help with his headache. It wasn’t long before he heard the backdoor open and close.

There was a pause, before the man (undoubtedly William, based on the footsteps) made his way down the stairs and sat down next to Keegs. The android looked over at him, not at all surprised to find he’d also taken off his own jacket, and loosened his tie.

“Getting too much for even you? I’m glad I left when I did,” Keegs said, returning to his goal of soothing his brain. He heard William chuckle. It was a soft sound, clearly from his chest. But it was also... not rude? It was actually kind of sweet.

And then he sighed, and the sound brought that flutter back. “I would seem so, yes. I forgot how draining it is to talk to idiots.” He meant people who weren’t handy with animatronics, something Keegs had learned from observation (eavesdropping).

Keegs just nodded. He understood. Animatronics were his whole life, it was hard to talk about anything but them.

“Thank you for coming with me,” William spoke up after a while, making Keegs look up at him again. “I know we don’t always get along, but I’ve... enjoyed it. Getting along, I mean.”

The mechanic just stared at him, surprised. He opened his mouth to presumably reply, but William leaned forward quickly and caught him in a gentle, cautious kiss.

Keegs shocked himself by returning it.

William’s lips were soft, and easy to lean into. Keegs suddenly understood how this man had ended up with a wife. He felt a hand in his hair, and leaned into it without breaking the kiss, unwilling to break the moment.

He’d noticed the tinge of alcohol on Afton’s lips the second they’d connected with his own, but he didn’t care all that much.

Finally, William broke it by leaning back, looking down at Keegs with slightly pink lips. “Between us?” he asked, his voice low and quiet, a small smile on his face. ‘Between us’ was a fun little thing they’d started the first time Keegs found the man covered in blood.

But this one was different. This one meant a lot more, and couldn’t be used at evidence against the man Keegs was supposed to eventually kill.

“Between us,” Keegs replied just as softly, and this time... he meant it.

#holy SHIT how did this get so long #scrap.writing #asky doo #anon #drabble request #this isn't a drabble anymore it's a fucking one shot wjhbfwebfjwe

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free--therapy · 3 years

Text

How to Deal with Social Anxiety

Social anxiety tells us two lies, says Boston-based clinical psychologist Ellen Hendriksen. The first is that the worst-case scenario is bound to happen: We will be rejected; people will point and laugh; we’ll be humiliated. The second is that we can’t deal with that worst-case scenario or the ups and downs of a socialized life that come with being human.

“I have a history of social anxiety, and I was actually nervous to disclose that in the book,” says Hendriksen, referring to How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. The book details her scientifically based, judgment-free approach to social anxiety. “I thought revealing a struggle would make people pull away as if it were contagious. But when you disclose something about yourself, more often than not, someone will disclose something very similar to you, and that creates a bond. If I had a nickel for everybody who came up to me and said, ‘I have social anxiety, too…’”

A Q&A with Ellen Hendriksen, PhD

Q: What is social anxiety? How do you know whether you have it?

A: Social anxiety is self-consciousness on steroids. It is the perception that there are things deficient about us that—unless we work hard to hide or conceal them—will be revealed, resulting in our being judged or rejected.

We can all relate to the experience of looking in the mirror in the morning and seeing some kind of physical flaw that we feel self-conscious about. Maybe we have a big pimple, or maybe we’re having a bad hair day, or maybe we think we look weird in these pants. So we try to conceal that thing. We might put on some extra foundation, or wear a hat that day, or change our pants. But if we can’t do those things, if we go out into the world with our pimple or our bad hair or our weird pants, the resulting feeling is similar to social anxiety.

Social anxiety usually falls into one of four categories:

The external self. There’s a whole category of perceived physical flaws—we’re ugly, we’re fat, our skin is blemished.

The symptoms of anxiety themselves. We may believe that it will become obvious that our hands are shaking, or that we’re blushing, or that our voice is trembling.

The fear that our social skills will be judged inadequate. We’re boring, or we’re annoying, or we have nothing to say, or we keep going blank.

Our entire personality. The anxiety here is that it will become obvious that our entire personality is somehow defective or inadequate, that we’re stupid, or that no one wants to hang out with us, or that we’re incompetent.

Social anxiety can blossom as many different flowers, but they all come from the same perceived root that there is something that needs to be hidden. But these perceived flaws are not true at all. At most, there’s a grain of truth in a perceived flaw—like maybe we do blush, for example, but not to the extent that we think—plus it doesn’t cause the amount of attention or rejection we anticipate.

Q: How is social anxiety distinct from generalized anxiety disorder?

A: If there were a Venn diagram of general anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder, many people would fall in that overlap. General anxiety disorder is characterized by worries: There’s worry that feels uncontrollable and skips from topic to topic. We might start with, “Oh, I’ve got a headache this morning,” to, “Oh my god, maybe I have a brain tumor.” Then: “If I die, how would my family support itself?” And so on. It might skip from your job to your social life to your health to global warming.

Whereas social anxiety is centered on this fear of the reveal: The fear that something theoretically deficient about you will become obvious to everyone.

Q: Does social anxiety ever work itself out? Or is it always something that needs to be worked at to be overcome?

A: It depends. Social anxiety is driven by avoidance. Avoidance might be overt: We might not show up at a party, tell our best friend we can’t participate at her wedding, or not tell anybody it’s our birthday at the office. Avoidance can also be covert: We could show up at a party but spend all our time scrolling through our phone. Or we could tell people it’s our birthday at work, but then make sure that we basically hide from everyone, all day, so they don’t make a big deal, etc.

Either way, through overt or covert avoidance, what results is a buildup of a dearth of experiences. We don’t realize that we were safe all along, or that our imagined worst-case scenarios don’t actually happen. If we keep avoiding as we move through life, then the anxiety will not resolve itself. It will be maintained by our own avoidance.

However, social anxiety does often get better as people age, because generally we can’t avoid everything. Life happens. We will often passively absorb experiences and realize they weren’t so bad. For example, maybe our boss makes us give a talk, and even though we dreaded it and secretly hoped it would be canceled, it goes fine, and we realize, “Oh, maybe I can do this.” All in all, it depends on how much we engage in avoidance and how much we are willing to try the things we’re afraid of despite our fears.

Now, actively working on social anxiety can turbocharge that growth and change. I advise people to select a few things, big and small, that they would like to work toward and actively try to not avoid those experiences but actively search them out. It feels awkward, but the key is to start small and work your way up. You can start as small as you like—you don’t have to cannonball into the deep end.

Q: How can you help a friend with their social anxiety?

A: Unfortunately, what usually happens when somebody discloses social anxiety is that their friends tend to ask less of them. The friends tend to try to accommodate to make them feel comfortable. Which I get; which is lovely and heartwarming and I appreciate that they’re trying to make their friend feel better. But what happens is then they decide, “Oh, now I can’t invite this person to the party.” Or “Now we can’t go to new places.” Or “Oh, my cousin is coming to town, so my socially anxious friend probably wouldn’t want to meet her.” In protecting their friend, they end up enabling them.

What I tell friends to do, in contrast, is to be a champion. That means hearing their friend’s fears and working with them to see what they want to strive for. How do they want to stretch and grow? See if you can help them with that.

It’s important not to dismiss their fears, such as, “Don’t worry—you’ll be fine,” or “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” We don’t want to minimize their very real fears. Instead we can tell the truth and say, “You’re strong and you can do this.” Or “The scariest moment’s right before you go in. Let’s give it a shot.” Or “Last time you stuck with it, you felt better after just a few minutes. Let’s see if that happens again.

"In sum, let them be in the driver’s seat, but also ask how you can help.

Q: What are things socially anxious people have in common (besides social anxiety)?

A: Social anxiety comes bundled with some really good traits. People with social anxiety often have really high standards, so they hold a good work ethic; they’re conscientious; they often can read others’ feelings. (Well, sometimes we overread them.)But in general, we’re pretty empathetic; we’re helpful and altruistic; we’re often good listeners. We work hard to get along, because if you roll back caring too much about what people think of you, what you get is simply caring about people. In terms of living a happy life, the greatest thing you can do is connect with others by being kind and warm. People with social anxiety are extremely well-suited to do that.

Plus, it’s important to emphasize that as we work on our social anxiety, as we try to conquer our fear, those good traits don’t go away.

Read More of the article and Q&As here

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just-straight-up-chaos · 4 years

Note

First and foremost, love your blog 😘 If it's okay, how would the boys react to their s/o being overly emotional/possibly hormonal? Maybe it was just a bad day, maybe that time of the month. Or both 😩😢

Thank you!!! Sorry it's taken so long to get to this, it's actually second in line but I'm still getting legit salty at Tumblr for eating the first in line....anyway! The soft that is about to come your way istg 🥺💖 I try to be inclusive here so the s/o will have they/them pronouns, interpret that however you like 💖 🏳️‍🌈 (they really need more pride flag emojis)

Leo wasn't sure what was happening as a whole, but he knew that something was going on. Several passive texts among other things had stated as much. So, in hopes that it would make them feel better, he drew a bath, making sure the bubbles scents weren't too overwhelming leaf they trigger a headache. That was the last thing they needed right now. He figured, a nice hot bath, some soothing music, candles in their favorite, he chuckled to himself, 'flavor', as they liked to call it. Once it was all set, he actually went to the greenhouse to toss some recent blooms from his chamomile tea plants in. They weren't rose petals, he knew, but hopefully they would help sooth them. When they got to the lair, he greeted them with a soft but lingering kiss to the crown of their head. "I know today's been rough for you-"

"No it's fine I-"

"So, I set something up for you. I'd offer to cook something for you but you know how well that will go, so, what would you like? I'll order it." He smiled down at them as he led them to the waiting bath. He didn't miss the shake of their shoulders, or their sniffle as the dam began to break. "You know I'm here for you, to be an ear, a shoulder, anything you need...so don't be afraid to talk to me about it when you're ready, okay?" He asked, giving their shoulders a gentle squeeze only to have them throw themselves at his chest, already crying. He smiled wanely down at them and held them close, resting his cheek on their head and rubbing their back as they cried. "Do you want me to just stay with you?" He offered quietly. They nodded against his chest, and so he did. He stayed and held them close until they cried themselves out. Leo stayed and spoke soothing words to them as they relaxed in the tub, his hand lazily swirling the surface of the water. He stayed and bathed them, massaging their shoulders as he noted the distinct tension. He stayed and helped dry and dress them, only to carry them off to bed. He tucked them in, sliding right into the bed alongside them, and held them close. For now, they would just rest here. He could ask Donnie or Mikey to get them something to eat when they got hungry. But for now, this is all that they needed.

Raph was honestly a bit frustrated. He'd done everything he normally did when they were in a funk, but it just seemed to get worse by the damn day! He couldn't figure out how to help on this one! There was no one to scare off, there was nothing that needed a firm hand and some elbow grease, it wasn't one of his brothers being stupid, and he knew he hadn't done it because they would have told him so by now! Right?! They always did before! He took a deep breath and sat down on his bench press, cupping his head in his hands as he thought. He didn't realize it, but they'd gotten off of work early and had headed straight over, which left them watching him as he mulled it over and over in his head. "Raph?" They called quietly, instantly drawing him from his thoughts as his head shot up.

"Hey sweets, how was your day?" He asked, holding out a hand to invite them over. They shuffled over and sat down on his lap, laying their head against his chest.

"Shitty..." They mumbled. Raph sighed quietly, cradling the side of their head to pull them closer so he could kiss the opposite temple.

"I'm sorry...anything I can do to make ya feel better?" He asked. He never asked. He always just, had something that did. Something always made them feel better, but this slump, he hadn't been able to break it like usual for them.

"I'm hungry...but I don't feel like eating...can you just, pet my head and hold me for a while?" They asked quietly, as if he might actually refuse.

"I'll tell Mikey to make your favorite an then we can go lay down, alright?" He offered, getting up with them and taking their hand. After he got a nod, he led them to Mikey's room to ask him for a favor before he took them to his room. They didn't bother with blankets, but Raph pulled one up over them anyway. Once they were settled, nice and close together, he began stroking his hand through their hair, churring far more quietly then he ever did in an attempt to lull them to sleep, knowing they could probably use it.

Donnie had been busting his ass all week. For once he was going to have a completely free weekend for them and himself. What he didn't realize was that his business had only made what had been a terrible week already, worse. So, when they didn't come around like they usually did, he grew concerned. He informed his brothers he would be gone for a while before he went topside to get to their apartment. He tapped on their window once he was there. No answer. He frowned thoughtfully, pulling out a small knife. Normally he would never need to use such a simple tool directly like this, but, desperate times. He slid the blade between the windows overlap to unlatch the lock before he opened the window and slipped inside. He called their name. No answer. He looked around, they weren't in the livingroom. The kitchen was a bit worse for ware, but empty. The bathroom door was open, unoccupied, so that left their bedroom. He knocked gently on the door before entering. All the lights were off, their phone wasn't even plugged in, the curtains were drawn shut and the windows were covered with blankets. It was as if they wanted to be swallowed by darkness. He called their name softly as he approached their bed. With his goggles he could see their movement in the dark. "Hey...what's going on? Something happen?" He asked. They seemed to curl in on themselves more. "Did you want to talk to me about it...or did you want to be alone-?"

The words had barely left his mouth when they sobbed a 'no.' Donnie didn't hesitate to pull them, blankets and all, into his lap to hold them close.

"Shhhh, it's okay, I've got you. You're safe, I'm here." He soothed, rocking them gently as he held them. "I'm yours all weekend, anything you need, I'm here." He assured peppering the top of their head with kisses all the while.

Too overwhelmed by emotion to explain, they continued to cry in his lap, arms wrapped tightly around themselves as they tried not to fall apart completely. Of course, if they did, Donnie would be there to put the pieces back together with a gentleness even his own inventions didn't know. He wouldn't leave their side until they felt better.

Mikey was antsy. For the past few days, he could tell they were sinking into another episode. How to stop it though!? He'd made sure to be there to talk to them any time he could. He tried not to get too physical since sometimes they just didn't want to be touched. He was walking on eggshells and he wouldn't complain about it because he knew they were slowly crossing a trail of shattered glass. It would only get worse before it got better. That was, until the day they didn't come to the lair. He knew he shouldn't worry, maybe they just wanted alone time. But then, when they were like this, being alone was the worst thing. He found himself charging out of the lair at dusk and nearly busting through their apartment window before he thought better of that. He knocked urgently. With a click, the window unlocked and slid open. "Mikey?"

They were barely able to register him even being there before he was in their apartment, scooping them up and hugging them tight, murmuring a string of apologies into their hair. "I know you get touched out sometimes when you're like this but when you didn't come I got worried and, and-" he didn't even realize he was crying until they started to soothe him, shushing him and wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"It's okay, I'm fine, I'm safe, I'm right here." They assured softly. Mikey felt even worse for making them feel bad about worrying about them, and he knew they would.

"I just wanna help. How can I help?" He asked, holding them a little tighter. Believe it or not, just knowing that he cared that much, that he'd shed tears for them because he cared so much, they felt a little better already.

"Just...stay...watch a movie with me?" They asked, looking up at him. He nodded, willing to do anything, and it wasn't like the task was difficult anyway.

"Of course, whadya wanna watch?"

@wacheypena @wacheypenaart @lady-ella1 @acelikesturtles @the-second-circle-of-shell @shadow-prime @memes-in-a-half-shell

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shotgun--rider · 4 years

Text

One Digit Off

A Jared x Reader Oneshot

After a hard day at work, Y/N just wants some peace and quiet. Instead, an accidental phone call might just change the whole evening.

Word Count: 2300

Warnings: Brief discussion of suicide attempt (not a main character), bad t-shirt puns, cat Rowena, useless fluff

*Reader gender/pronouns: any

A/N: Some silly apology fluff because I’ve been a useless rat about posting.

The couch in your living room was an overstuffed monstrosity that liked to consume anyone that sat on it, slowly but surely. It had been a thrift-store purchase in college years ago that somehow left anyone who sat on it pulled so far into the cushions that there was almost no leverage to stand back up. Nevertheless, it made the perfect place to hide at the end of a long week.

After the exhausting and entirely depressing shift you’d had at work, you wanted nothing more than to give in and let the couch eat you. You were wearing your favorite old, worn novelty t-shirt, the completely stupid one that read ‘SQUIRRELS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN’, and an equally embarrassing pair of shorts with tie-dyed handprints on your butt. Armed with a plate of haphazard snacks, you settled in on the hungry hippo couch, laying sprawled sideways and accepting your fate. You’d already taken a shower and jammed your hair behind a messy bandana, solidifying your look of “disaster got run over by a truck”. It was classy.

You just wanted to get cozy, watch some TV that you knew well enough not to have to think about anymore, and try to forget the sounds of a hysterical ten year old in your headset, screaming that Mommy was killing herself.

Working as a 911 dispatcher meant that you heard people in the worst moments of their lives all the time, and most of the time, they hung up without you ever hearing the ending. You were trained to talk down panicked callers, to get the most important information out of them in the quickest and safest way possible, to keep everyone calm and everyone alive until the first responders got there. And you were good at what you did, good at compartmentalizing what you listened to so that it didn’t follow you home, so that it didn’t distract you. And most of the time that worked.

You blew out your breath and refocused on the TV, having put on one of your old favorite Supernatural episodes as a distraction. Your black cat was huddled up kneading her paws on your feet, the couch was slowly swallowing you between the cushions and the backrest, and the hollowness in your chest eased bit by bit as you listened to Sam and Dean bicker.

On the coffee table in front of you, just past your snack plate and out of reach, your phone lit up, buzzing with a FaceTime call. You lifted your head halfheartedly to peer at the screen, unable to make out the caller at the angle you were at. It didn’t matter anyway; you weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone. Besides, it wasn’t like you really had anyone in your contacts who would be especially put out if you waited until tomorrow to talk to them. Your friends were all very casual people.

Stuffing a ranch-dipped cucumber slice into your mouth while you were sitting up, you proceeded to flop back down onto the couch, earning a death look from Rowena for moving your feet.

“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered to the cat. “You’re the one sitting on my feet, you know what you signed up for,”

And now you were talking to your cat. Great. This was probably the sort of thing that kept you perpetually single, you reflected absently. There weren’t a lot of people out there in the market for a put-crazy-cat-ladies-to-shame introvert who worked weird hours and was more awkward than entertaining. Not that it mattered, though. You weren’t really relationship material in general, you’d found, and after realizing how many boyfriends you just seemed to inevitably disappoint, you’d decided you were fine being single.

Ten minutes later, just as Sam was losing his shoe down a storm drain, your phone buzzed again. There was no contact photo coming up, which probably meant it was a wrong number, and you ignored it once more. Until it rang again, and again, followed by a flurry of pinging text messages.

Cursing to yourself as you fought your way upright (dislodging Rowena, who hissed at you), you flailed for the phone, not bothering to read the texts as you picked it up. If a wrong number was going to call you that many times, they either had an emergency or really needed to be set straight. Pushing your bandana higher off of your forehead carelessly, you swiped to answer the FaceTime call, setting it on the couch next to you without even looking at the video loading on the screen as you fumbled to pause the TV. “God, what!” you snapped in the vague direction of your phone. “Stop hissing at me, cat,” you added irritably for Rowena’s benefit.

There was a long pause, and then a man’s voice. “Um,” he said inelegantly. “I’m sorry?”

Rowena prowled over to the phone, then, batting at it with one paw and nosing the screen inquisitively. “Rowena, you menace!” You reached over, trying to pry the phone out from where she was currently sitting on half of it, sighing heavily.

“Hey, look, I think you called the wrong number, and I’m really sorry my cat’s sitting on you right now--” you started, just barely able to make out the bottom half of a man’s torso in a loose gray shirt from underneath Rowena’s black fur.

A laugh, then, “No, it’s a cute cat. Well, as far as I can tell,”

Your phone’s speaker was muffled by Rowena’s tail, but there was something about that voice that almost sounded familiar. “Jesus Christ, Ro, let me apologize to this guy properly,” you huffed, failing once more to pull your phone free when she batted her paws at you defensively, claws out.

“Wait, your cat’s name is Rowena?”

“Uh, yeah,” you frowned, trying to figure out why hearing your cat’s name in a stranger’s voice bothered you so much. “Yeah, I--Rowena give me the phone!” you snapped suddenly, making a dive between her paws. Finally, your cat relinquished the phone, fixing you with an Oscar-worthy dramatic look of anger befitting her namesake before flouncing off the couch. “Damn cat,” you grumbled, finally lifting the phone to get a look at who’d been calling you. At least being virtually sat on by a cat meant he got a little payback for harassing you with calls for the past half hour.

As soon as you brought the phone up to your face, you froze, your slow blinking the only proof that the screen hadn’t just frozen up on you. “Uh.”

He was several years older than the one currently paused on your TV, wearing a black beanie and looking mostly ready for bed, but no, that was definitely Jared freaking Padalecki staring back at you. And you were wearing a squirrel shirt and had a rat’s nest for hair. Clearly, the universe had just built this entire day to laugh at you, because what the fuck.

He was smiling at you, eyes crinkled up at the corners and looking unfairly put together compared to your gremlin-impersonation in the corner screen. “So, are the squirrels having fun?”

“What--oh!” you looked down at your shirt, embarrassment flooding through you, and decided on the spot to go with it. It wasn’t like this could get any weirder. “They were,” you returned, “until somebody called them six times in twenty minutes,”

Jared’s expression turned sheepish. “Yeah...sorry about that. My buddy got a new phone number and I obviously saved it wrong. I wouldn’t have bothered you if I didn’t think it was just Jensen ignoring me,”

A slightly incredulous sounding laugh burst from your lips, and you shifted on the couch, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that you were casually carrying on a conversation with Jared Padalecki. After your cat had sat on him. “You didn’t bother me that much,” you conceded. “Sorry I snapped at you. Rough day.”

“Oh yeah?” Jared tucked one arm behind his head, shifting around but never taking his eyes away from your face. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Um,” you faltered, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You didn’t need to spill your guts to a random wrong number who also happened to be one of your favorite actors. What you did need to do was get out of this with some decency, hang up the phone, and forget about it.

“You don’t have to,” Jared was saying softly, his forehead pinched like he was concerned about you. (Which was laughable).

“No…” you shook your head, wrinkling your nose. “I don’t know, I just...isn’t this weird?”

“What do you mean?”

“Uh, talking to a stranger because of a misdial?”

Jared pouted, his eyes turning dangerously puppy-looking. “And here I thought you liked me,”

“Wishful thinking, Padalecki,” you shot back without thinking, only realizing after the words were already out that you’d just confirmed that you knew who he was.

Meanwhile, Jared’s eyes had lit up triumphantly. “If you know who I am, then you’re not talking to a total stranger,” he pointed out, smiling easily at you.

He didn’t seem like he minded, but that did little to put you at ease. Pinching the bridge of your nose to stave off a stress headache, you sighed. “I’m sorry, that’s got to be so awkward, I--”

“What? No,” Jared just looked genuinely confused. “You’ve got a cat named Rowena, I kind of figured you’d know who I was,”

You groaned, covering your entire face with your hand now as embarrassment burned through your cheeks. “You probably think I’m some crazed wild fan, naming my cat after a character,”

“I don’t,” Jared reassured you firmly. “I think you’re funny, and I like the squirrel shirt,”

You peeked out from between your fingers. Jared Padalecki liked your dumb squirrel shirt. “You’re just saying that,”

He laughed, shaking his head. “No, I’m not! This is the best thing to happen to me all week,”

“You must have had a pretty lame week,” you observed sarcastically, leaning toward your phone to better examine your own image in the corner. “I look like a gremlin,”

“You do not!” Jared was laughing at you now, shaking his head emphatically. “You look cute,”

“I look--and feel--like I crawled out of a trash can, but thank you,” you deadpanned, a yawn distracting you from Jared’s further counterargument. You heard the smile in his voice before you opened your eyes to see it, and something caught in your chest at his soft expression.

“Tired?” he asked gently, shifting onto his stomach on the screen, face propped up on a pillow to look at you. Vaguely, in the back of your mind, that surrealness of being on a FaceTime call with Jared Padalecki was still there, but mostly, it just felt unbelievably normal.

“Twelve hour shift,” you confirmed with a nod, one hand moving beside you to lazily pet Rowena, who had apparently decided to forgive you. At the look of puzzlement on Jared’s face, you elaborated, “I’m a 911 dispatcher,”

“So when you say you had a rough day…” Jared’s face cleared in understanding, his expression patient. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want,” he reminded you softly, falling silent after that as if just content to watch your gremlin face on his screen. (Which would be ridiculous).

Your mind flickered back to the sound of the panicked girl on your headset, and you sighed. “No, it’s fine. I, uh, picked up a call from a girl today. Moriah. She was ten. She, uh, she found her mom in the bathtub with a knife,”

Jared sucked in a breath. “I’m so sorry you had to listen to that. Did she...uh, is she okay?”

Your mouth twisted wryly. “That’s the thing. Everybody hangs up as soon as the ambulance gets there. I hope so, though. Kid said she had vitals,”

Jared was shaking his head at you. “And you do that every day,”

“I mean, not every day, it depends on shifts. But yeah.” you shrugged. “I try to help,”

“That’s incredible. You’re incredible.” he murmured softly.

Squirming at the praise, you scowled playfully at him. “You don’t even know me,”

“I’m not taking it back,”

“Yeah, okay,” you feigned annoyance like there wasn’t a blush all over your face. Then you winced, suddenly noting the little red battery symbol on top of your screen. “Crap, my phone’s gonna die,”

That seemed to shake Jared out of just staring vaguely at the phone screen, and you watched him sit up cross legged on his bed, still with that same heart-stopping smile. “Yeah, we should both probably go to bed anyway,”

You sighed with a nod, strangely reluctant to hang up. “I’m still sorry Rowena sat on you,”

Jared laughed, throwing back his head. “I’m not,” he told you brightly. “You probably woulda hung up on me if she hadn’t. Tell her she’s a good cat,”

“I will not, it’ll make her head bigger,” you retorted easily. “Goodnight, Jared,”

Jared touched his fingers briefly to his lips, covering the camera with them a second later. “Goodnight,” he whispered, ending the call before you had any time to process what that meant.

It only took a few minutes for your phone to buzz with a new text, and you opened it with a laugh, scrolling briefly back through Jared’s pestering of “Jensen” before focusing on what he’d sent you this time.

So since you turned out not to be Jensen, I need a name for my contacts

Are you sure you’re keeping my contact? You shot back, smirking at your phone screen.

Yes??? Jared sent back carefully, and you could almost imagine his hesitantly sheepish expression.

Jensen 2. Not-Jensen. Crazy cat lady.

He sent back a sad emoji. C’mon.

Y/N L/N

Goodnight, Y/N.

You tossed your phone back onto the coffee table, falling back into the couch with what was probably a vaguely stunned expression on your face. Jared freaking Padalecki. You fell asleep with a little smile still playing on your lips.

#supernatural fanfiction #supernatural rpf #jared padalecki x reader #jared x reader #spn #rpf #x reader #reader insert #oneshot

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cherryrogers · 5 years

Text

➸ eye candy

pairing: bucky barnes x reader | office au

warnings: swearing, mostly fluff.

word count: 3.7k

synopsis: Being Tony Stark’s receptionist was hard. Working alongside the most gorgeous salesman you’d ever seen was even harder. Actually talking to said salesman? Well, that was just insane.

a/n: so this is sorta based of the show ‘the office’,,, we love a good office romance :) please enjoy and feedback is always appreciated !!

“Good morning, (Y/N). All of these papers need photocopied, signed and posted to all of our clients by twelve o’clock, sharp.”

Tony Stark was going to be the death of you.

Hesitant eyes landed on the enormous pile of paperwork that your boss had just slapped on your desk. There was no way all of that was getting done in the next two hours.

“I’m a receptionist, Tony. Not a miracle worker.” You shrugged, looking up to meet his eyes. “I can’t get all of this finished by lunch on my own. Can’t you help me out?”

“You see,” The man sighed. “These papers are now on your desk. That means the responsibility of them has been passed on to you. Not my problem anymore. I’m sure you can find yourself another happy helper.”

He started to walk away, causing you to lean over your desk and try to grab back his attention. “But Tony-”

“Can’t hear you, already walking away.” Tony called behind him, quickly pacing towards his office. “And now I’m opening the door to my office, and now I’m entering...”

The man’s voice faded as he swiftly closed the door to his office, leaving the headache-inducing pile of paperwork to sit hauntingly on the edge of your desk. Sitting back in your leather chair, you let out a quiet huff.

This was going to be a long day.

Becoming a receptionist hadn’t always been the plan. The plan was to work your ass off after you graduated high school so that you had enough money to go travelling around the globe, gaining work experience in different countries and making memories along the way. Maybe even not returning back to America, but going on to live a quiet life in the South of France or maintaining the busy work life in Japan.

However, it’d been a while since graduation, and you still hadn’t stepped foot out of the state of New York.

Working for Stark Industries was only meant to last a few months, it was only meant to be a temporary job until you found something that paid a little better. For some reason, however, you were still handling everything at the reception desk a year later.

Stark Industries was a small tech company developed by the man himself, Tony Stark. He’d had high hopes for the company, insisting that as soon as clients started rolling in, the company would be worth six figures in no time. You weren’t exactly sure what his definition of ‘no time’ was, but it’d been kind of a long time since the company was up and running.

You had to hand it to the guy, though. Tony built every piece of tech he sold himself from scratch. While there were workers in the warehouse who eventually aided in the development of the products, it all started with Stark. There was a part of you that deeply hoped Stark Industries would take off, finally fulfilling Tony’s dream.

But when the guy decided to hand you a ton of paperwork to do in an impossible amount of time, that hope was soon retracted out of frustration.

The main door to the office clicking open caught your attention, and a grin immediately made its way onto your lips.

“Hey, Sam.” You greeted your co-worker as he walked past your desk.

Turning his head to you, he quirked a questioning brow. “You seem weirdly smiley for a Monday morning. D’you want somethin’?”

“Well, since you asked...” You let out a laugh, patting your hand on top of the pile of paperwork you had yet to move. “All of this needs copied and signed and-”

“Nope, no way.” Sam shook his head. “I’m already behind on sales. Stark will have my head if I don’t make some today, and you know how much I love avoiding that guy at all costs.”

The grin fell off your lips easily. “But I can’t do it all myself!”

“Ain’t my problem, girl.” The man shrugged, beginning to try and get away from your desk, and your pleading.

“You sound just like Tony.” You called after him, resulting in him turning around and giving you a glare.

“How dare you.”

After that encounter, Sam stayed glued to his computer all morning, trying to sell as many products to clients as he could. Meanwhile, you were still stuck with a bunch of work that you hadn’t started yet.

Your eyes scanned the office. It was rather small, the only rooms being Tony’s office, the kitchen, the break room, and the main office area.

Natasha and Clint sat in the far corner of the room, usually never doing what they were meant to. You weren’t quite sure how they still had their jobs, considering you never saw either of them pick up a phone or touch their computer mouse. The redhead was currently grasping a bag of Hershey’s Kisses in one hand, and throwing them over her monitor in an attempt to make one land in Clint’s mouth with the other.

Through the glass of the door leading to the kitchen, you could see a tall blond taking his sweet time making himself a coffee. Steve hated working here, anyone with eyes could tell he’d rather always be anywhere else. He wanted something more than just a nine-to-five office job. Steve wanted to make an impact on the world, and he wasn’t so sure he could do that from a run down office building just outside the city.

Maybe you could convince him to help you.

Within thirty seconds, you had pushed yourself out of your desk chair and hurried over to the kitchen, giving Steve an innocent smile as you entered the small room.

“Hey, blondie. You’re not busy, are you?”

“If you’re asking on behalf of Stark, then yes, I’m incredibly busy.”

“Certainly looks like it.” You motioned towards the coffee he’d been stirring for the past five minutes. “Must be one hell of a coffee if it took you ten whole minutes to make.”

Steve narrowed his eyes at you. “Making coffee is an art. I would expect you to understand.”

“I understand that you’re not being at all productive right now, and I could really use some help with all the paperwork that needs sent out to clients-”

“Oh my god.” The blond groaned. “Did you come in here just to ask me to do work? I’m just tryin’ to make coffee here-”

“Steeeeve.” His name came out in a whine. “I’m desperate here.”

“Can’t you ask Sam to help?”

“Already did.”

“Natasha?”

“Too busy pelting Clint with candy.”

“What about Bucky?” At the mention of his friend’s name, a blush rose in your cheeks. Oh, fuck. Steve instantly smirked. “Aw, you don’t wanna ask him, do you? Does he make you nervous?”

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. “Stop it; I- I haven’t seen him this morning. Haven’t had the chance to ask him.”

“Well, he’s at his desk now. Doesn’t look occupied.” Steve nudged your arm with his elbow. “I’m sure Buck will help you out.”

“You think?”

“Oh, he will.” He let out a laugh, causing you to raise your brow at him curiously. How could he be so sure?

Steve noticed you eyeing him. “What?”

“How do you know that he’ll help me?”

“Just do.”

“If you and Sam won’t help, what makes you think Bucky will?”

“Nothing. Go ask him.”

“But you seemed so sure-”

“He knows that you have a crush on him.”

“He- he what?” You gaped, confused as to why Steve was acting so casual about it. Bucky knew? Oh no, oh god. Your life was officially over.

Since you started at the company, you’d always had an eye for the salesman that was directly in your line of sight from your seat behind the reception desk. Originally, Bucky was just good eye candy for when you got bored in the middle of any work you were supposed to be finishing. That was going great. You didn’t mind that you’d never had a conversation with the guy before, because if he turned out to be perfect inside and out, you knew there’d be an issue.

So when he first made conversation with you one morning when the both of you were early to work, you came to the conclusion that you were fucked. He complimented your hair that morning, offered to make you coffee, shot you a cheeky wink before strolling over to his desk. After that came the issue. The issue that you’d developed this stupid crush on him which he probably didn’t reciprocate.

Steve obviously noticed - how could he not notice the receptionist practically drooling over his best friend every time he looked up from his desk? When he actually sat down and did his work, of course.

“Did you tell him?” You pouted up at the blond, who found amusement in your panic. “I swear, Steven Grant, if you told him-”

“Calm down, woman.” He raised his hands in defense. “I didn’t tell him anything... except that you’re single and that you have a thing for man-buns.”

“Oh my- I’m gonna have to quit. This is your fault, Steve. I’ve quitting my job and changing my name.”

“C’mon, (Y/N) - you’re being dramatic.”

“That’s not my name anymore.” You shook your head, putting your hands on your hips. “I’m now going by... Anastasia.”

“Why Anastasia?”

“This sort of thing would never happen to a girl called Anastasia.”

Steve scoffed, leaning his back against the counter and finally sipping his coffee. “I don’t get what you’re freaking out about. You want him to know you’re available, right?”

“Available, yes. Not specifically desperate for men that can tie their hair up in a bun, of which there’s only one of in this building, and that’s him, Steve. That one man is Bucky, and now he’s gonna think I’m weird.”

“(Y/N)-”

“We discussed this, Steve. It’s Anastasia now. Oh yeah, I’ve gotta go and tell Tony I’m resigning and that (Y/N) not longer exists-”

“He likes you too, okay?” Steve suddenly raised his voice, before pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “God, you two are the worst.”

There’s a short silence between you and the blond. Bucky... liked you back? Uh, what? This was seriously news to you. Holy- what if you were his eye candy too? Never mind, scrap the quitting idea. If Bucky liked you back, this was your time to shine. The ball was in your court now. Hell yeah.

“Bucky likes me?” You asked quietly.

“Mhm.” Steve replied reluctantly, his lips against the edge of his coffee cup.

“So... I should go and ask him to help me with the paperwork?”

“Yup.”

“And he won’t mind because he likes me?”

“No, he won’t.”

A satisfied smile crept onto your lips, and you resisted the urge to just grab Steve and pull him into a victory hug. Instead, you opted for a friendly pat on the chest.

“Blondie, you should’ve just led with that.”

“For the love of- just... go get your man, Anastasia.”

You caught the corner of his lips upturning before you spun around, heading for the door that lead back into the main area.

“Screw that Anastasia girl. This is (Y/N)’s time to thrive.”

Steve only rolled his eyes as you exited the kitchen, a new, confident glow radiating off you as your eyes landed on your favorite bun-wearing tech salesman. Not that you knew many tech salesmen that wore buns in their hair, but you know.

He was slowly tapping away at his keyboard, tired eyes glancing around his computer screen and you couldn’t help but swoon. God, he was the epitome of perfection. How could such a man be working alongside you for a super small tech company? Shouldn’t he be a model or something? A swimwear model, fuck; that would be a sight-

“(Y/N)?”

It was at the sound of your name being called that you realized you were standing completely still in the middle of the room, staring Bucky down like an utter weirdo. The man smiled softly at you as you let out a nervous laugh, trying to hide your blatant embarrassment.

That glowing confidence? Definitely gone. You were not thriving anymore... and that would sure never have happened to Anastasia. Never. Maybe changing your name was still on the cards.

However, in that moment, you were you. And Bucky was sitting only a meter away from you, probably wondering what the hell was wrong with you.

“Uh, hi.” You finally mustered out, approaching his desk. Uh, hi? Uh, hi?! Oh, lord...

“Hey.” He chuckled. “You alright?”

“I’m great!” You answered, perching yourself on the side of his desk. “I, uh, I like your bun.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck-

“Thanks.” Bucky tilted his head to the side, leaning back in his seat. “Steve told me you liked man-buns.”

You were definitely going to have to talk to Steve about his wing-man skills after this was over. “Is that why you’re wearing one today?”

“Maybe.”

Oh, you weren’t expecting him to actually respond to that. Fuck, this was actually going kind of well.

Bucky had his bottom lip between his teeth, watching as you fumbled for any sort of words to leave your mouth. Any would do.

“It suits you. Not that I don’t like your hair down as well. I think it looks great either way, honestly. I’m sure even if you had short hair, you’d be able to pull that off too...”

Heavens above, please stop me from rambling and sounding like a complete idiot, you thought to yourself.

Bucky didn’t look phased, as his gorgeous smile only widened. “I guess that’s something we have in common then.”

“What?”

“Lookin’ good all of the time.”

Shit. Your cheeks were definitely tomato red after his comment. Why did he have to be so damn charming?

“So, did you come over here just to give me a confidence boost?” Bucky teased. “If being a receptionist doesn’t work out, you’d be a pretty good motivational speaker.”

You playfully glared at him. “Being a receptionist wasn’t my ultimate career goal, you know.”

“What was it then?”

“I mean, I don’t really know. Something to do with travelling, though - where I could see the world and everything it has to offer.” You let out a sigh. “I just don’t wanna be cooped up in an office forever, you know?”

You worried that you’d started rambling again, but by the interested expression on Bucky’s face, it seemed like he was listening intently. “Yeah, I get it. Salesman wasn’t always my goal either.”

The corner of your mouth upturned. “Can I guess what yours was?”

“You can try.”

As you furrowed your brows in thought, Bucky couldn’t help but skim his eyes over your features. Your eyes slightly squinted in focus, soft lips pursed, jaw locked. Despite his outgoing demeanor, he’d always been nervous to just start up a conversation with you in the office. He saw you five days a week, for eight hours a day, and he still got butterflies whenever you walked his way.

“A firefighter.” Your voice snapped him out of his daze.

“Nope.”

“A college professor?”

“No.”

“Hmm... a hair stylist?”

“No, funnily enough.”

“It’s a swimwear model, isn’t it?”

“(Y/N), that couldn’t be more far from the right answer.”

You sighed internally. It was worth a shot.

“Alright, what was it?” You chuckled.

“A chef.”

A chef, huh? You probably would’ve never guessed that. You didn’t know a lot about Bucky, so you didn’t realize that he even had an interest in cooking. It did explain why he always brought his own lunch, though, rather than slumming it with the rest of the office who just grabbed some chips from the vending machine and whatever fruit was left in the kitchen.

“You like to cook?”

“I love to cook.” He grinned, making your heart ache at how pretty his smile was. “Have done since I was a kid. I’ve been told I make a mean beef bourguignon.”

“Sounds fancy; I’d like to try it.”

“Maybe I can make it for you some time.”

Talking to Bucky became easier with every minute you were sat on his desk, trying not to get lost in his blue eyes as he spoke passionately about his ambitions. He told you about how he’d always wanted to open his own restaurant, but he’d never had the money to do so. His favorite dish to eat was admittedly a classic cheese and tomato pizza, but a homemade one that wasn’t doused in oil and salt, which was fair enough... even though you secretly lived for the Domino’s pizza you ordered every couple of weeks to treat yourself.

And after falling into a long, comfortable conversation with the man you used to barely be able to utter out a ‘hello’ to, the realization later hit you at eleven fifty-nine, that the work that was meant to be finished in one minute still hadn’t been completed.

After the whole conversation with Steve about asking Bucky for help, you didn’t even do the one thing that you were planning to do.

In a panic, you darted your eyes towards the area on your desk where Tony had slammed the stack of papers on your desk, confused as to why the large stack wasn’t actually still sitting there.

Before you could come up with a logical explanation, your boss flung open the door of his office, quickly making a beeline over to where you were still sat next to the monitor on Bucky’s desk.

“(Y/N), my number one receptionist.” He greeted you.

“I’m sure I’m the only receptionist you know, Tony, but I guess I’ll take the compliment.”

The man slapped his hands together enthusiastically. “So, did you get all the paperwork posted? I know it was a lot, but it’s important that our clients get those forms.”

You quickly glanced back to your desk, making sure that the paperwork really wasn’t there anymore and that you weren’t just seeing things. Where could it have disappeared to? Unless some form of higher power knew how pissed Tony would be if it wasn’t done and somehow did it all for you, you were pretty slumped for a rational explanation.

“Uhh...”

“Yep, (Y/N) got the paperwork all posted. Just like you asked.” You heard the voice of a certain blond next to you. “Sam and I gave her a hand.”

Sam and Steve gave you a hand? But how- wait.

“Fantastic.” Tony beamed, pointing a finger towards you. “I knew I could count on you, kid. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I might give you a raise.”

As the receptionist, you knew Stark Industries wasn’t yet making enough money for anyone to earn a raise. But you didn’t want to ruin the guy’s moment.

After sending him a thankful smile, you watched as Tony walked away, and once he was out of sight, you slowly turned your attention to Steve.

“You,” You gave him a warning look, before turning to Sam who had also decided to make an appearance. “And you, Sam. This was all planned, wasn’t it?”

The two men nodded proudly, as if they’d just pulled off the greatest scheme of the century. They were idiots. Smart, but still idiots. Did there really need to be a whole plan to bring you and Bucky together?

“Sam and I are dedicated wing-men, you know.” Steve shrugged. “We’re not complete assholes - we would’ve helped you with the paperwork when you asked, but we thought that this could be a good opportunity to get you two to actually converse.”

“Yeah, Bucky sure needed the push. Poor dude gets nervous from just looking at you.”

“Alright, Sam.” Bucky glared at his friend. “I think the joke’s on you guys, though - considering we got to have a nice conversation and you were left with all the paperwork.”

“Like I said,” Steve replied nonchalantly. “Dedicated wing-men.”

Before you could ask any more questions, a stern cough stopped your from doing so. “I’m sorry to interrupt your mothers’ meeting, but I’m trying to run a business here, guys. Wilson, you’re behind on sales, and don’t think I don’t notice you hiding out in the kitchen every morning, Rogers.”

Steve sighed. He really thought that was working for him.

“Barnes, you’re doing great.” Tony patted his shoulder reassuringly, making the salesman smile smugly up at his two frustrated friends. “(Y/N), I need some papers organised, and could you use those pastel highlighters to color-coordinate them? You know I love those highlighters - they really liven up the boring work, you know?”

“Sure thing, boss.” You nodded as Sam and Steve began to make their way back to their desks, leaving you and Bucky alone again after Tony returned to his office.

“I guess I’ve got some color-coordinating to do.” You pushed yourself off Bucky’s desk, standing up straight.

“Wait,” Bucky stopped you from straying any further from his desk. “Would you... wanna do somethin’ tonight? After work?”

A smirk played on your lips. Bucky fucking Barnes was asking you out. Once again, screw that Anastasia girl. Would Bucky Barnes ever ask her out? Nope, because he was asking you out. Okay, stop talking to yourself. The guy needs an answer.

“Sure, I’d like that. You gonna make some of your beef bargain john for me?”

“Bourguignon, sweetheart.” The man let out a hearty laugh. “If you can pronounce it right, I’ll make it for you.”

You scoffed. “That’s just mean... bourg- bourg-on... crap.”

“S’not really close enough, sorry.” Bucky shrugged, knowing that he’d end up making it for you anyway.

“Whatever.” You muttered, slowly walking back over to your desk only a few feet away from Bucky’s. You could see the guy biting back a smile as he pretended to return to his work. Fuck, you really did like him. And you were going on a date with him. That night. Perhaps that higher power really was on your side.

“Bourg-a-non!”

“Not quite.”

“Dammit.”

Maybe the office wasn’t so bad after all.

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky oneshot #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader fluff #bucky x reader fluff #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky x fem!reader

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fearfulkittenwrites · 4 years

Text

Bedridden - Co-written with @3ambird

Summary:Tim has been stuck in bed for over a month and it’s driving him up the wall, he feels like the family is pushing him away.

...All he wanted was a coffee.

Word count: 2833

Link for it on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26205868

Notes: Hey! This work was created by both me and @3ambird. They did an amazing job, and this work wouldn’t even exist if it wasn’t for them giving me the idea for it!! Make sure to give them all the love they deserve!! I hope you enjoy this <3

It’s been a little over a month. One whole month of laying in bed, not being able to do anything by himself other than change the channels on TV. Tim felt awful, he felt powerless. His broken leg was annoying, and his broken ribs made breathing difficult, not to mention the pneumonia he’d only just recovered from. Sleeping wasn’t easy either, seeing as he had to be kept in an upright position at all times so that the bones would heal properly. He had gotten a brand new scar on his neck, and looking at that in the mirror was still hard. But that wasn’t even the worst of it.

The worst part, the real humiliating part, was needing help for every little thing. He hated not being able to walk properly, hated not being able to do what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it, by himself.

He hated having to ask for help to go to the bathroom.

And above all, he hated needing help to bathe.

It was humiliating, having someone standing next to him and helping him clean himself, rubbing the parts he couldn’t reach because his ribs wouldn’t let him twist that way. He felt vulnerable and exposed. He thanked the heavens that Dick was so willing to help, because the few times Alfred had to cover for his older brother had been really awkward. And that’s not even mentioning that one time with Bruce.

And then there’s the pity. Everyone’s been giving him those ”understanding” looks, those soft eyes, trying not to share details from their cases, not mentioning their vigilante personas around him, turning off the news whenever he’s around, asking if he needs anything, all the time... Alfred has been cooking his favorite meals every other day, and even Damian was being nice to him. Damian, the demonspawn who would always criticize his every single move was being nice.

That was what really scared the crap out of him, it made him feel like he might never be able to be Red Robin ever again. It was as if they all knew it too, wanting to make him comfortable with being pushed away from that part of their lives, as if they were easing him back into being a civilian.

Tim sighs, wincing at the pain that spreads through his chest, and rubbing his temples in an attempt to ease his constant headache. It’s due time for him to try and do something by himself.

Slowly, he pushes himself out of bed, ignoring the pain in his ribs and the banging inside his cranium, reaching for the pair of crutches resting against the wall. He had never used them, but it couldn’t be so hard, right? He had taught himself how to jump between rooftops so he could take photos of Batman and Robin when he was just a little kid, so this should be easy enough. He manages to reach his door, having only a little trouble opening it. Wonky and slow, Tim eventually makes it to the edge of the marble staircase.

“Alright.” He murmurs to himself, looking down at the huge amount of steps in front of him “You’ve got this. You can do it. Nothing stands between Tim and a hot cup of coffee.”

His trip down the stairs takes a lot of effort and he has to take breaks every few steps, waiting for the pain to diminish so he could keep going. He’s sweating from the effort, meaning that he’d probably need a shower sooner than he wanted to, but he couldn’t take off his hoodie, afraid of losing his balance and falling down the stairs.

“Okay, five more steps Tim.” He tries to sound confident “C’mon, five more steps.��

First the crutches. Then his feet.

One step.

Once again the crutches, and then his feet.

Two steps.

The crutches. His feet.

Three steps.

The crutches slip and fall away. Tim slides down the two remaining steps, falling butt first into the ground. The impact makes pain shoot up to his broken ribs, making him cry out from the pain, tears filling his eyes and quickly running down his cheeks, the cry morphing into sobs as he holds the side of his body.

Tim hears someone coming towards him, two pairs of rushed footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Tim?” Dick calls, worried “What are you doing out of bed? What happened, are you okay?”

“I-I fell.” Tim answers, hiding his face “I-I lost my balance and... and I fell... Fuck, it hurts so much, Dick.” He cried.

“I know, I know. But I’m here now, it’s okay.” Dick answers, cupping his brother’s cheek “C’mon, let’s get you back upstairs to bed, okay?”

“N-no.” His words coming out shaky because of his stupid sobs. Tim tried again. “No, I was- I want- I just need to get t-to the kitchen, I need to-”

“Timmy, it’s okay.” Dick said, pushing some of Tim’s hair behind his ear “We’ll get you whatever you wanted.” Damian, the second pair of footsteps, nodded behind him.

“No! You don’t get it!” Tim yelled, tears still streaming down his face “I need to-! I can make it! I can! I-I know I can...!” Once again, Tim hides his face in his hands, sobbing loudly, pain pulsating down his sides.

“Tim…?” Dick has that worried puppy look on his face.

“I-I know that y-you don’t think I can g-go back to being vigilante again.” He sniffles “I- I just wa-wanted to show that I’m n-not in such b-bad shape. I-I’m not useless!”

“Oh, baby bird...” Dick said, running a hand through his brother’s hair “No one thinks that. I promise, Tim, no one thinks that you’re useless.”

“We have all had our injuries, Drake.” Damian said, crouching next to him.

“Yeah,” Dick smiles at him as he speaks “We all know that you’ll bounce back. You just need to rest.” Tim sobbs once again, burying his face on his older brother’s neck as the man kept gently running a hand through his hair “Let me help you back into your room, okay? And Dami can get whatever you wanted from the kitchen for you.” Dick whispered, and Tim nods, face still hidden.

“I- I don’t need anything.” He said, voice muffled. The words tickled Dick’s neck, and he had to put a lot of effort in not to jerk his shoulder up at the feeling “I just wanted to make myself some coffee, but... there’s no point now.”

“Would you like some tea instead?” Damian offered “Mother sends me special blends on occasion. Some of them have healing properties.” Tim looked at the kid, who was speaking in a tender tone “I could brew you some.”

“I...” Tim’s eyes filled with tears once again as he nodded “I’d like that. Thank you, Damian.”

“You’re welcome.” He answers, getting up, headed for the kitchen.

Tim starts crying again, tears falling heavily as his brother helped him to his room. Every sob, every sudden and shaky rise and fall of his chest shot a new wave of pain through his ribcage, which in turn worsened his yelps and groans. Dick tried calming him several times, to no avail. It had been so long since he cried, Tim was surprised that he still knows how.

“Thanks.” Tim mumbles, as Dick sets him down on the side of his bed.

“Don’t mention it, Timmy.” Dick smiles softly but genuinely.

“Y-you know...” He tries to steady his breathing, wanting to speak “Yo-you’re the only one... the only one w-who doesn’t smile at me like... like I’m on my deathbed.”

“What do you mean by that?” Dick sits down next to him, making the mattress dip towards him.

“I me-mean...” He rolls his eyes at his stutter, taking a deep, annoyed breath “I mean, everyone k-keeps looking at me like I’m...” He breathes again “Like I’ve got some kind of terminal disease. Like I’ll die tomorrow, or the day after that, or maybe in a week, but they look at me like I’m about to die. It sucks, and it hurts so fucking much.” He clenches his fist.

“They’re just trying to be nice Tim, no one thinks you’re going to die.” Dick said, a hand behind his brother’s head. Tim knows that if his ribs weren’t broken they’d be on his back, providing support, but right now, Dick is too afraid to even touch his torso. That makes him grind his teeth together.

“Take your hand off me.” He says through gritted teeth “Please.”

“Okay.” Dick whispers, pulling it back.

“Put it on my back.”

“Tim...”

“Put. It. On. My. Back.” He tries to sound serious and sober, but his voice cracks and the tears gather in his eyes.

“Tim, I don’t want to hurt you.” Dick says.

“That’s the problem!” He yells, wishing he could throw or break something “That’s the fucking problem, Dick! I can’t... I can’t live like this! I’m not... Some delicate thing, I’m not going to break! I’m not... I’m Red fucking Robin! a-and I... I can’t lose that.” He covers his face again, sobbing into his hands “It’s-... I can’t lose that... Please, Dick. I cant… I can’t lose it.”

He feels the mattress moving as Dick stands up, and for a moment Tim thinks that his brother is leaving him. Thinks that he will have to deal with his loss by himself. Instead, he feels his hands on his knees, rubbing circles on his exposed skin.

“Tim,” He starts, softly “Timmy, Look at me.” He does, peeking behind his fingers “Why are you afraid of losing Red Robin?”

“B-Because...” Tim wanted to say everything.

He wanted to tell Dick that the pity and the silence meant the bats were trying to ease him back into a normal, civilian life. That Alfred cooking his favorite meals all the time was clearly some kind of twisted consolation prize. That constantly needing help to perform even the most basic tasks showed everyone just how unfit he is for the mantle. That he felt humiliated for needing help whenever he had to take a goddamn piss, and that if that didn’t show just how unfit he was to be part of this family of vigilantes, then he wasn’t sure of what would.

But none of that came out. What came out instead, was a result of Tim’s sudden realization, after his racing thoughts eased their monologue.

“Because I’m weak.” More tears forced their way out as he admitted it “and you all finally saw it.”

“No.”

Tim’s breathing was shaky as he lowered his hands, revealing his face little by little, trembling chin.

“No.” Dick repeated, stronger this time, more determined. “Tim, you are so many things. Smart? Yes. Brave? Definitely. Loyal? 100%. Chaotic? Completely.” He smirked weakly, Tim chuckled just a little “But you’ve never been weak.”

“I’m not strong either.” He shot back, staring at the floor.

“And what makes you say that?”

“Just look at me!” He opens his arms “I’m pathetic! I can’t even use the bathroom by myself.” Dick had one eyebrow raised in a weird, skeptic and confused scowl. It annoyed him. “What?”

“So you think I’m weak?” He starts, Tim just frowns in confusion. “And you think that Jason’s weak? Steph and Cass? Oh, let’s not forget Babs, and Bruce? What about Duke and Damian, do they fit your description of weakness too?”

“What... What are you talking about?”

Dick huffed out a tiny laugh.

“Tim, you do realize that all of us, no exception, have been in the same situation before, right?” Tim stares at him, confused “Don’t you remember when I got my shit rocked so badly that I was in a coma for like, a week?”

“Nine days, actually.” Tim murmured “You scared the crap out of me.”

“Well, what about when Jason broke both of his legs after falling from that building? You do remember that, right?” Tim nodded slowly “And you do remember how he needed help to move around for two and a half months? And what about that time when Bruce was shot in the thigh and had to use a cane for three weeks?”

“Well, that’s not really comparable to-”

“You may think it isn’t because you weren’t seeing it all the time,” Dick cut him off “but I also had to help him to the toilet during the first week. And help him shower in the first few days.” Dick took a deep breath and let out a soft sigh. “Look, what I’m trying to say is; there isn’t a single masked hero out there who hasn’t been bedridden for a while, at least, not a single human one. And guess what you are, buddy?”

“Human?” Tim bit the inside of his cheek.

“yeah, human.” Dick nodded. “Baby bird, trust me,” He said, smiling at him again “You’re gonna fly again. Yeah, someone may have clipped your wings, but feathers grow back, I swear they do. No one thinks you’re dying, we’re trying to give you space and time to heal.”

“Yeah, well,” Tim sniffled, rubbing his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie “Maybe I don’t need that much space.”

Dick smiled, right side of his mouth raising as he huffed out a little laugh again.

“Noted.” he said with a smile. “Hey, do you need help out of that hoodie?” He asked “You’re sweaty.”

“Yeah,” Tim nodded “Yeah, I could use some help with that... please”

As Dick helped him out of the constrictive, overly hot jacket, Damian knocked on the door, not waiting for a response before opening it. He skillfully balanced the platter containing a mug of tea and some biscuits on one hand, setting it down on his brother’s nightstand.

“You know,” Tim said as Dick attempted to carefully fold the hoodie and Damian sat down on the floor, in front of him “You can still tease me if you want to. I’m not used to not being constantly criticized by you.”

“-tt-.” Damian rolls his eyes “How can I criticize you when you haven’t done anything at all in the past month?”

“Damian!” Dick whisper-yelled.

“Yeah, that’s what I was talking about.” Tim snickered, reaching for the mug. The warm tea was comforting, even if he was feeling a little hot, and the biscuits were perfectly made, surely by Alfred’s well versed hands “Do you guys want any?”

“No thank you.” Damian says.

“I’m fine.” Dick smiles at him, deciding that his effort to fold Tim’s hoodie was useless as he tossed into his laundry bin, too sweaty to be reused.

“Are you...” Damian paused, biting the inside of his cheek “Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah.” Tim answers, tapping on his mug as Dick sits back down next to him “Dick gives great pep talks.”

“It’s a gift.” His older brother jokes, getting a small smile from both Tim and Damian.

They sit quietly as Tim finishes sipping his tea, but it’s not awkward or uncomfortable. It’s that rare kind of silence that Tim loves, the kind of silence that isn’t forced or demanding to be filled with empty words. It’s a silence that transmits tranquility and reassures him that his brother’s love for him hasn’t faltered these last months and will never fade, no matter what.

As he takes his final sip, Tim stares at the bottom of his mug.

“Hey, uh,” He whispers “I think that after my adventures I... I might need to shower.” He looks up at Dick, biting the inside of his lips “Can you... help me?”

“Of course I can.” Dick smiles, warm and big.

“I shall take these back to the kitchen then.” Damian stands up, takes the mug from Tim’s hand and the tray from his nightstand, then disappears into the hallway.

“I hope he’s not upset that I’m stealing you from him.” Tim says.

“What? No.” Dick frowns a little “I was just watching him do his homework, but I think he’d prefer doing that on his own. C’mon, let me help you to the bathroom.”

“Hey Dick? thanks.” Tim says as Dick helps him to his feet “I don’t think I‘ve been saying that enough.”

“Oh, please.” Dick dismissed him “It’s not like you have to thank me. I’m your older brother after all.”

“Yeah, I know, but... this isn’t really something you have to do.” Tim shrugs.

“What, did you think I’d just force you to get Alfred? Or - god forbid - Bruce?” Dick snorts “I’m not heartless. Besides, I was a Robin through my teenage years, I know how awkward this kind of thing can be.” Dick says as he helps Tim sit down in the bathroom.

“I guess.” Tim laughs a little “Still, you didn’t have to do this, but you are, so thank you. A million times, thank you.”

Dick kisses the top of his head.

“You’re adorable Timmy.” He smiles “And don’t mention it. I’m here for you. Always.”

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anomander-dragnipurake · 4 years

Text

Possessed Chapter Three: Mario

Without the adrenaline coursing through him, the pain in Luigi’s arm was so much worse. It throbbed in time with the rather horrid headache that was rapidly setting in. He wanted nothing more than to lie down in a dark room and curl around his arm in wretched misery. But despite how bad it was, King Boo’s only complaint was that the blood leaking from it and soaking into his sleeve and getting all over his front too ruined the look he’d been going for.

‘It’s not my meat suit,’ he explained. ‘So I have no reason to care if it gets damaged.’

Well Luigi cared and he would very much prefer it not be. He had no say in that though. King Boo didn’t even seem inclined to bandage his arm because he was just like that.

Instead he focused on E. Gadd and ensuring he did as he was told and freed all the boos in the three vaults he’d kept them in. As soon as they were all released back into the wild, Luigi got an uncomfortably strong sense of King Boo’s happiness about it and this situation as a whole. He was almost tempted to cling to it to escape his escape his misery more but didn’t; he didn’t want to share in King Boo’s joy about any of this.

Next came the destruction of the equipment that had captured and held the boos, including the Poltergust E. Gadd had been seemingly been in the process of repairing before he tried to use it defend himself with it. King Boo stepped in to do that himself, using a mix of magic and Luigi’s fists and feet and eventually even a crow bar.

He was ruthless, zapping, punching, kicking, smashing, until E. Gadd’s machines were reduced to a pile of metal and wires. It made the pains Luigi was already experiencing worse and introduce new ones. And King Boo didn’t stop at the vaults and Poltergusts either, he started going to town on everything else in the lab too, his rage fueled by a personal vendetta.

E. Gadd tried to protest a few times but King Boo wasn’t listening, he gave up when King Boo threatened to kill him if he didn’t shut up. Polterpup stayed by him, always placing himself between him and King Boo growling ferociously whenever the latter moved too close. Overall, it was bad, stressful time for everyone except for King Boo.

“There, you’re done” E. Gadd said what felt like forever later when King Boo’s anger seemed to finally be spent and everything in the lab had been reduce to little more than piles of rubble. “Now release him.”

Panting a little from exertion, King Boo turned to face him with a grin, resting the crowbar against Luigi’s shoulder. “When did I say I was going to do that? I don’t think I even implied it as a possibility.”

E. Gadd gasped and glared. “But… you can’t… You got what you…”

“He’s my puppet, I’m not giving him up.” Lifting his chin, King Boo tossed the crow bar to the side and started for the exit. “Lucky for you though, I’ve decided to let you live. Leaving you alive after wrecking your lab, destroying your life’s work, unable to take revenge against me without hurting your friend even more than he’s already hurting is better vengeance anyway.” ‘If he attacks, I’ll change my mind though, I don’t like disrespect.’

Thankfully, E. Gadd just muttered a few more attempts at a protest that King Boo ignored completely. He followed King Boo out and to the car, only giving up when King Boo slammed the car door shut.

‘Let’s go pay Mario a visit now, huh?’ King Boo said as he backed out of the driveway, running over E. Gadd’s mailbox in the process.

Just when things seemed they couldn’t get any worse too. … Please don’t. But… no amount of begging would convince King Boo to change his mind. He only took pleasure in it and thus… Luigi didn’t even try very hard. … King Boo laughed out loud about that.

By the time they reached Peach’s Castle, Luigi was tired enough that he probably would’ve been able to fall right asleep even with the pain in his arm. The bright sunlight as King Boo walked his body through the courtyard hurt his eyes and made him feel unwell – part of that might be blood loss though. Though it was nothing compared to the dread growing in him at the thought of Mario seeing him like this; a pitiful sorry state, actively violated by King Boo.

What was Mario going to do or think or say? Would he believe that this was Luigi’s fault somehow? How disgusted would he be? Would he even…

“Luigi?” It was a toad, he approached King Boo and Luigi hadn’t even noticed.

“I’m looking for Mario,” King Boo said, attempting to speak like Luigi.

“What’s up with the uh…” Toad trailed off, gesturing vaguely at his face. “And why are you dressed like that? And what happened to your arm? That’s not… blood is it? I don’t like blood.”

King Boo held back a sigh of annoyance. “I-I need to talk to Mario. It’s important. Do you know where he is?” His imitation wasn’t the worst in the world but with everything else it shouldn’t be at all convincing. … Unfortunately, the castle toads had never paid much attention to Luigi so this one looking like he believed it was not much of a surprise.

“Uh… uh… I’m not sure. Probably in the castle somewhere, maybe his room. You uh… should probably get that looked at if it is blood… it doesn’t look good.” At least it wasn’t actively bleeding anymore though, right?

“Yeah, sure, I’ll do that.” King Boo turned away to start for the castle again. ‘Toads are annoying, how do you put up with them?’

Luigi should respond in defense of the toads but considering how that one had just mostly ignored the fact that something was very blatantly wrong here he wasn’t even really sure he wanted to. And he lacked the energy to really try anyway.

As always, the door to the castle was unlocked. The toads guarding it reacted to Luigi’s current appearance much the same way the first one had, letting King Boo enter with little questioning. Ugh! How did they not see the crown and think ‘King Boo’? They’d never been the smartest folk around but surely they couldn’t be that stupid? … Then again though, other than the toads who’d come to the hotel with Peach, none of the castle toads had ever seen King Boo so maybe they just didn’t know.

‘Or maybe they just hate you. It wouldn’t surprise me.’ King Boo smirked as he strode freely into the castle.

Maybe you should just shut up.

King Boo laughed internally. ‘Oh, getting angry now, huh? Sure did take a while.’

Luigi refused to respond. Everything he did or said only ever seemed to give King Boo cause to taunt him some more. So… he was just going to stop thinking for a while instead. … Too bad that was really hard to do.

The entrance hall seemed to be empty. So were many of the rooms and halls except for the occasional toad. Most were too busy to pay King Boo much mind but the ones that did, all believed his only half decent Luigi impersonation, expressing nothing but concern for his obviously sorry state. None of them knew where Mario was though, that was a relief.

Maybe Mario was out somewhere doing something with Peach or Yoshi or anyone else. Hopefully wherever he was, he’d stay there until something happened and King Boo was no longer a problem. … What were the chances of that happening though? … King Boo’s response to that thought was a hearty laugh.

After searching half the castle, they ended up in the entrance hall again. Before King Boo could start for the other half, the sound of the entrance door opening drew his gaze. … It was Mario!

‘Finally!’ King Boo was utterly delighted. Luigi was utterly the opposite.

Mario had spotted him too, pausing for a second before coming further in. “Luigi?” His brows were furrowed with worry as he came closer. “Toad told me you were looking for me. Are you… okay?”

No, Luigi was not okay. He’d never been less okay in his entire life. He desperately wanted to tell Mario that and... he desperately wanted Mario to save him.

King Boo laughed out loud, twisting Luigi’s face into an evil grin. “Hey Mario, it’s been a while. Though really, I don’t know how long it’s been, it’s hard to keep track of time while in captivity.”

Only a few feet away now, Mario stopped, his face hardening. “Who are you? And why do you look so much like my brother?”

“Can’t you guess based off the crown?” King Boo gestured to it. “And I look like your brother because in a way I am.”

No, you’re not!

Mario was silent for a few seconds before it seemed to click. “King Boo?”

“Yup!”

Mario rushed forward to grab Luigi by his shirt front. The look on his face said he wanted to punch King Boo and King Boo was going to let him. “What did do you do to him?”

“Nothing actually, well, other than steal his meat suit anyway.”

Mario’s grip loosened as he stepped back, a look of horror coming over his face. “Is he… if you…”

“Nah, he’s still in here.” King Boo winked as he tapped the side of his head. “Which is the whole point of this. You can’t do anything to me without hurting your bro even more than you’re going to be hurting me. It’s brilliant, isn’t it? I should’ve thought of this a long time ago instead of trusting Helen to do anything with her stupid hotel.” He did not like Helen, her obsession with him made him uncomfortable. … If only Luigi could do something with that knowledge or at least find it funny. “This is better vengeance anyway, don’t you think?”

Mario opened his mouth but failed to say anything for several seconds. “Why… just why?”

“Because I can and because I wanted to.”

Luigi willed Mario to run away now before King Boo could hurt him or worse. He’d have a better shot at fighting back than E. Gadd had but unable to fight back properly King Boo might still be able to…

Please, you’ve had your fun, please just leave now. Don’t… don’t hurt him… please. Luigi wasn’t even begging to be let go, he just didn’t want to watch and feel as his hands were used to hurt the people he loved. He wouldn’t be able to take that, it was too much.

King Boo was absolutely delighted with both the look of useless fury on Mario’s face and with Luigi’s desperate begging. He’d won, he was finally victorious over his enemies at last. No more would boos be sucked up into vacuums or bullied. He’d done what no other person had ever done before, he’d utterly defeated the Mario bros. And now he was going to have a little fun with that.

No… please don’t. Luigi pulled his mind away from King Boo’s thoughts as much as he could but they were too intense to get away from completely. Please don’t hurt him.

King Boo took a single menacing step towards Mario and… Something hit the back Luigi’s head with a loud bang, bringing an intense flash of pain followed by blessed nothing.

***

Mario gaped as Luigi’s body crumbled to the floor in a heap. He’d seen Peach sneaking up on King Boo from behind but he hadn’t expected her to whack him with a frying pan.

“That’s my bro,” he said gesturing uselessly at his poor brother who’d already clearly been through so much.

Peach nodded as she lowered the frying pan. “I know. But we needed to stop King Boo before he did something or before he left, bringing Luigi with him.” Yes, but surely there were less violent ways to do that. “So I knocked him out. Now all we have to do is take him to the doctor so she can look at his arm and uh… maybe head now too. And then we’ll lock him in a cell until we figure out how to get King Boo out of him.”

Mario could only groan. While that was a good plan and the only one they really had, it meant Luigi would most likely suffer even more. Why couldn’t there be a fix now?

“Come on,” Peach said as she put the pan away and crouched down to pull Luigi into a more upright position by his arms. “I need your help lifting him.”

Before obeying, Mario bent down to grab King Boo’s crown. It was much smaller now but still obvious. Maybe removing it would… Nope, it wouldn’t budge no matter how hard Mario pulled on it. So it did seem to be tied to his possession of Luigi’s body somehow but not in a way that made it any easier to fix.

“It’ll be okay,” Peach whispered as Mario gave up on that. “We’ll fix this, I promise.”

Feeling a bit choked up, Mario could only nod his thanks. Hopefully for Luigi’s sake, she was right.

While the castle doctor was patching up Luigi, Mario called E. Gadd. Surely if anyone knew how to fix this, it’d be him.

“Mario,” he almost shouted into the phone as soon as he picked it up. “Watch out for Luigi he’s…”

“Possessed by King Boo,” Mario interrupted. “You knew?” And didn’t think to call and share that news, really? It’s not like Luigi was his baby brother or anything, so why would he need to know something like that?

“Well uh… now that I think about, I should’ve called to tell you but uh… my lab’s in a bit of state.” He was too busy cleaning his lab to… “King Boo was rather thorough in destroying everything…” Oh. “… more than just the boo stuff too which wasn’t part the deal. Neither was freeing Luigi like I thought… hoped. He left me alive though so… there’s that. … I should’ve called.”

“What happened?”

“Well, Booigi came to my lab and tried to kill me. He would’ve succeeded if Polterpup hadn’t jumped him. Then he said he’d let me live, if I freed his boos and destroyed the boo vaults but he destroyed everything else too and I watched because… there was nothing I could do and I thought maybe he’d let Luigi go after he got what he wanted but he didn’t and…” He made a wordless sound of frustration accompanied by the sound of his fist banging something metal.

With a sigh, Mario informed him on what was happening over here and the general plan which relied heavily on him. Everything in his lab being destroyed didn’t bode well for their plans though but it was still all they had.

E. Gadd hemmed and hawed for a few seconds after Mario finished talking. “Well, with my lab the way it is, I can’t guarantee anything but I’ll try. It might take a while though.” That… wasn’t surprising. Hopefully Luigi could hold on for a while longer.

#My writing #super mario bros #luigi's mansion #Booigi #King boo #Luigi #Mario #Peach #Angst #some violence

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

Text

THE PATRONUS

Harry noticed with puzzled concern that Remus' hands were shaking slightly, though it steadied out some when he found his place and looked to start. He also seemed to be getting paler by the hour, and Harry couldn't help but wonder for the first time in his life when the next full moon was. They must be awful for him, since every time it seemed to come up in the book both his father and Sirius gave him concerned looks. He still felt a little too embarrassed to ask about it, and since no one else was offering up the information he let it go as Remus started.

Harry may have known Hermione's heart had been in the right place in her actions, but it didn't stop him being pissed at her.

"And I really don't blame you," James nodded with a light smirk. "I'd have thrown a fit if one of my friends did something to get my new broom taken away."

Lily frowned at him, still more defensive of the girl as she shot back, "that's hardly fair James. She was doing what she thought was right, she thought she was trying to protect Harry. I'm positive if she'd come to Harry first, he and Ron would have shot her down."

"Well don't get me wrong," James shrugged, "I'm happy Harry's got such a good friend like that, but the fact that I know it's not a problem means I get to be annoyed."

Lily let her head thump back against the couch, feeling like she was talking to a brick wall half the time instead of her husband. At least he admitted he was almost overreacting.

He'd only been the owner of the best broom in the world for a few hours before it had been taken, now he didn't know if he'd ever see it again.

"Trust me, you will," Sirius said in a completely assured tone of voice. "McGonagall wouldn't dream of actually keeping that from you permanently."

He feared what state he'd get it back after all of those spells had been done to make sure it was clean.

"Wish someone really had explained that to you though," Remus sighed, thinking that was all Harry needed, one more thing to be worrying about.

Ron blamed Hermione just as much, telling Hermione what she had done should have been illegal.

"As if Ron didn't have reason enough to be upset with her," Lily frowned, feeling that if someone didn't step in soon and try to get these two to fix this, it could turn into something irreversible. Would Harry do this? She honestly hoped so, knowing personally how easily a friendship could slip away.

Hermione wouldn't hear it, she was sure she'd done what she had for the better good, and started avoiding the two and Gryffindor tower all together.

All of them were frowning now, Harry most of all as guilt began welling up in himself. At the time he'd been frustrated with her for having something like this happen, for something of his to be taken away do to someone else yet again in his life, worst of all someone he'd thought of as a friend. Now looking back and having his parents explain better to him what was actually going to happen to his broom, he recognized he'd been acting pretty harsh against someone who was only trying to help, even if she could have gone about it in a better way herself.

The boys didn't do anything to fix this.

Lily was frowning and fidgeting, fighting down the urge to scold him for acting this way. Surely a broom wasn't more important to him than one of his friends! Then she glanced over and saw how shamefaced Harry really looked for his actions, as if given the chance he'd get up right now and go apologize to her. Lily couldn't help but smile and reached over to pat him on the knee, instead offering reassurance and saying, "don't worry love, I'm sure you two will make up. I've not seen any evidence that you'll hold a grudge long."

Harry mulled that over for a moment, trying to search internally for the emotions that supported his mom's words before turning hopeful and nodding in agreement.

Break ended soon after, and Wood wasted no time in finding his Seeker, asking how his break had gone, and then continuing without pause,

"Rude," Lily huffed.

that he'd been thinking over break.

"Uh-oh," James scowled, shifting his weight around uneasily as a whole new worry seemed to be cropping up.

"What's this about?" Sirius snapped, not liking the way this was starting.

Remus didn't look any happier as he continued.

He couldn't help but remember the last match, and if dementors showed up to the next one, well that couldn't happen again or they'd lose.

"He's not!" Sirius cried in outrage.

"Is he actually going to kick you off the team for this?" James hissed. "He's trying to cope with it, at least give him a chance!"

"Relax you two," Remus was frowning down at the pages in annoyance as well, but seeing Harry looking just as devastated as the other two he reminded them all, "I did promise to give him lessons, remember? I'm positive once Wood finds out, he'll cut Harry some slack. He's not stupid enough to really try and get a new Seeker half way through the season."

Harry looked instantly relaxed at the news, having a very good feeling Remus should be right. Sirius and James still looked outraged that the thought had even crossed Wood's mind, but acquitted it wasn't worth shouting about until it actually happened.

Harry promised Lupin was going to give him some help with that, and Wood looked elated, saying he hadn't wanted to replace Harry.

All of the boys released breaths of relief, that could have gone so much worse if Wood had chosen not to believe him and instead gotten a replacement to be on the safe side.

Then he asked if Harry had ordered his new broom yet.

"Oh boy," Sirius grinned now, picturing Wood's reaction would be pretty similar to theirs.

Harry instead said he'd gotten a Firebolt for Christmas. Wood was shocked, asking if he was serious, 'a real one!'

"No, he got a fake one to get your hopes up," Remus rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from every syllable which distracted Sirius enough from making his favorite joke and instead caused him to laugh for his friends wit.

Harry told him not to get his hopes up, McGonagall had taken it away, on account of Black might have sent it to him with a curse in place.

"Hopefully Wood explains the idea to you a bit more," James said eagerly, still peeved McGonagall hadn't gone into more details. "Surely he knows what she meant."

Wood brushed off that apparently a murderer was after his Seeker,

Lily narrowed her eyes in agitation, not finding it remotely funny like the boys seemed to since they all chuckled in amusement. She'd personally like to see Wood show a bit more concern than he was for his teammates, really wanting to smack him and tell him his players were more important than the game. Merlin even when she hadn't liked James she'd recognized that quality in him.

and instead pointed out that the man could hardly go into the nearest shop and buy that with his face everywhere!

"Least he tried to be logical about it, though I do think it would be easier then they're thinking," Sirius shrugged.

Harry agreed, but McGonagall had still taken it away to strip it down, and Wood nearly fainted.

"Clearly he's not going to be explaining anything," James frowned.

"Maybe the term for it went out of style," Sirius offered, "and they call it something else then. So Wood doesn't know what Harry meant."

"It's only been a dozen years or so," Remus disagreed, cocking his head to the side, "would it really change that much?"

"Only thing I can think of," Sirius shrugged, and James did as well so the boys just let it go for now.

He promised Harry he'd talk to McGonagall, then nearly went skipping away in excitement that they had a Firebolt on their team!

"Hopefully McGonagall explains it to him, and Wood will turn around and explain it to Harry," Lily tried to pacify the boys who were clearly thinking far too hard on this.

Classes started up again, and they went down to Care of Magical Creatures and actually had quite the enjoyable lesson as Hagrid set up a fire and fire-salamanders were spending their time inside while Hagrid talked about them.

"Now that's what a Magical Creatures class should always be like," Remus beamed.

"Hopefully this means Hagrid's getting himself back into the swing of things," Sirius nodded happily.

Lily couldn't help but notice the book had yet to mention Harry helping anymore about Hagrid's and Buckbeak's case, but surely that was just because he hadn't found anything of note yet.

Going back to Divination wasn't nearly as fun,

"Here we go again," Lily groaned.

as Trelawney wasted no time in telling Harry that when she looked at his palms, it read out the shortest life expectancy she'd ever seen.

Sirius couldn't help snickering a bit, he may believe the woman might be a true Seer, but it didn't stop him from mocking the woman one bit at Harry's annoyed look for her efforts.

DADA was highest on his list to get back to, those anti dementor lessons he'd been promised now back in mind,

The mention of their favorite class this year had them all wriggling in pleasure now, absolutely positive Remus was going to nip this matter in the butt.

but Lupin seemed mildly surprised when Harry brought it back up.

'As if Harry had to remind him' James mentally scoffed, having no doubt in his mind Remus must be looking forward to this just for the chance of getting to spend some time with Harry.

He told Harry to meet him on Thursday after classes, but then he wondered how they could start practicing this, it's not like they could get a real dementor to work on.

"Hadn't thought about that," Lily nodded in agreement.

"I've actually been thinking on it," Remus admitted with his head cocked to the side, "and I've an idea, but I'm not sure if I'll think of it then."

"Well that couldn't have been more vague if you tried," Sirius rolled his eyes. "Just tell us."

Remus debated for a moment stalling and annoying Sirius further, but it wasn't worth the headache in the end so he explained, "Well Harry's already told me what he would have seen as his greatest fear was, a dementor, so I'm wondering if I wouldn't try and hunt down another boggart for him to practice on. Of course that would mean finding one again on such short notice, but I like the idea."

"Brilliant." James agreed with a nod. "The effects wouldn't be nearly as awful as the real thing, but worse enough for him to gain experience, and be realistic enough to practice."

"Hope you do think of that then," Lily nodded in agreement.

Harry couldn't help but nod and say the same thing as his mother, having a fairly good feeling about this as well.

Ron pointed out though, when Harry caught up later, that the man still looked off color.

Remus had gone from smiling faintly that he really was on the right track to helping Harry out with this, to frowning just a bit. If anyone could figure it out, Ron was a pretty good candidate. The fact that he, being Harry's best friend, kept noticing all of this didn't bode very well for him. Surely though, if he did figure it out and tell Harry, his reaction shouldn't be any more mild than now...right?

Ron was asking what could really be wrong with him, when from behind they heard a 'tuh' noise. It was Hermione,

"Remus?" Sirius asked in concern when he saw how hard his friend had flinched at that. Well clearly he'd been pinning this on the wrong friend, Hermione's reaction made it perfectly obvious that she had figured it out.

"Relax Moony," James offered with a faint smile, "you said it yourself, you weren't surprised when Hermione had done that assigned homework. She really is rather bright, so I'm not too surprised she put the pieces together, but that means she's known for how many months now and hasn't said anything? Not even to Harry. Doubt she's going to now, nor has she shown to be acting any differently in your class."

To their relief Remus did nod and looked relieved by their words, enough to go on without continuing to freak out.

Ron asked what that noise meant, and Hermione said it was obvious.

"Thankfully not too obvious," Lily muttered with a frown, knowing she'd be just as outraged as anyone if Remus' secret did get out. The Malfoy type parents and even just some uneducated and afraid people would have a fit, and none of them would be able to do anything about it, which might force Remus to leave and that would make every one of them angry. Most all of them were still banking on the fact that Remus really might be able to get rid of that stupid curse and really keep his job there for as long as he pleased.

Only Harry and Remus didn't really believe that, though kept it to themselves for personal reasons.

Ron snapped if she didn't want to tell them, then don't, and she just stormed off. Then Ron grumbled she didn't really know, she just wanted a reason to talk to them.

"Now that I'll disagree with," Sirius shook his head sadly, already wishing these kids would stop arguing over something he'd already forgiven Hermione for.

Thursday came up and Harry went to the designated class to find it vacant,

"Remus you're just late to everything lately," James snickered.

Remus rolled his eyes but didn't acknowledge the jab enough even to look up.

but he didn't have to wait long before Lupin came in with a crate, telling Harry it was a boggart.

"Good to know some things don't change," Lily said affectionately at how pleased Remus looked he'd guessed right this time.

He'd been looking for one since they'd last spoken,

"Started slacking a bit though," James snickered, remembering Remus would usually prefer to get his homework done sooner rather than later and finding this a bit odd that he wouldn't have been doing this since Harry had asked, but perhaps the idea had just occurred to him?

and he'd managed to find one in Mr. Filch's desk.

Sirius couldn't help but release several surprised gasping noises that might have been laughter if he wasn't trying to talk at the same time. James looked just as amused, but seemed more able to talk as he explained, "just unable not to laugh at the mention of Remus winding up in there for any reason."

"Oh Merlin, I would have just left it in there," Sirius gasped, still looking far too giddy then what Lily thought was called for.

"I'm just impressed I referred to him as Mr. Filch," Remus rolled his eyes, knowing he probably wouldn't have been able to do that with a straight face a few years ago, he certainly couldn't manage it now.

He decided they could borrow it for Harry's lessons, and keep it stored away in his own office in the meantime. Harry tried to look like he enjoyed this idea, but didn't quite get there.

"I'm sure that was working out for you just fine," James snickered.

Lupin then began to explain that the charm he was going to teach Harry was beyond fifth year, called a Patronus.

Harry leaned forward eagerly, knowing there was something very important he should remember about this spell, almost as if it held some kind of personal attachment to him. He'd been wanting to ask for ages what the exact name of this spell was that got rid of dementors, but had been pretty well distracted by other things so he was more than happy now to get full information about it.

Harry asked how it worked with some nerves,

"No need to be nervous pup," Sirius said bracingly, "I'm sure nothing too awful could happen."

"That was the opposite of reassuring," James grumbled to Sirius, knowing full well Harry may have been picturing the same thing as him was fixing to happen.

and Lupin explained it acted as a guardian to fend away dementors. Harry couldn't help but picture a Hagrid sized person holding a club standing in front of him.

James chuckled in amusement as he paternally corrected, "not quite son. It produces an animal that will defend you, in fact this was the Charm we'd mentioned. If you can produce your patronus, it will actually be a good indication of what your animagus will be."

"Really?" Harry asked with high interest.

"I've never heard that," Lily disagreed, and she liked to think she was rather proficient with her charms.

"It's not proven, or one hundred percent," Sirius shrugged, "but I've yet to see it otherwise."

"So if I chose to be an animagus, there's a good chance I'd be a doe?" Lily insisted with an amused smirk.

"That would be our best guess," James nodded in agreement.

Harry couldn't help but notice Remus was being quiet now, his face rather twisted with a look of annoyance and he did want to ask why, but then Lily had continued by turning to Remus and asking, "you know I've never thought to ask, but does that mean if you turned into an animagus, you would be a wolf?"

Remus huffed and grumbled something that made Sirius flick him in the ear. He glared hotly at him before answering with a still sullen voice, "don't know, not like I can test the theory."

"Ignore him Harry, he's going to be grumpy for the rest of the night and tomorrow too," James rolled his eyes and explained for Harry's puzzled look.

Remus scowled heavily at the pair, and while Harry wanted to continue asking for specifics he thought he worked it out on his own. Hadn't they mentioned before that some things don't work on werewolves? Could this be one of them? Maybe Remus just wasn't capable of being an animagus, surely that would have fixed his problem since he'd be able to turn into his animagus rather than being a werewolf for that time period, but perhaps not or he would have done it already? Remus didn't look ready to continue talking about this either way because he continued reading loudly.

Lupin went on to emphasis just how difficult this was though, because to channel this charm you had to create the thing dementors feed on in their presence, most adults couldn't pull it off.

"In all fairness," Lily corrected, "when learning the charm we hardly had a dementor, real or otherwise, to practice on so you can't really be too harsh on them all."

"Wasn't saying you should be," Remus shrugged, "just making sure Harry understands this isn't going to be easy, make sure he's prepared enough."

"I got it," Harry nodded in understanding, "but if you have to create a happy memory for it to work, then how does that ward them off? Don't dementors feed on happy memories?"

Remus was actually getting some of his usual happy manner back as he explained, "forcing it on the dementor in such a concentrated, powerful form like this overwhelms it. That's why it's so powerful to do," he also couldn't help but continue cautioning, "to pull together the very thing they're taking from you and shove it back at them with all your might."

Harry nodded in understanding, not looking remotely concerned at the warning.

Harry asked what it would look like, and Lupin said it was unique to each person who casted it. Then Harry asked what you had to do to make it happen,

James couldn't help a little frown that came over him, wanting to curse and grumble that he couldn't be in any one of those memories Harry would use. Merlin he felt lucky Harry even had happy memories at this point, hopefully he'd come up with one good enough that he wouldn't have to re-experience Lily's last moments for long.

and Lupin said that while saying the spell, you had to focus all of your attention on a happy memory. Harry had to think hard for a moment, knowing that nothing at the Dursleys would work,

Lily made quite the murderous face herself, all the pent up anger and rage at them making a sudden reappearance she hadn't been prepared for that time, but refused to let it linger as she really wanted to hear this.

and instead decided on the first time he'd flown.

"That's not nearly powerful enough," Remus sighed, giving Harry a rather sorry look he had to rebuke him for that. "You'll need something with much more feeling, all consuming, to produce even a faded patronus."

Harry frowned, already trying to cast his mind around for something even better for his next attempt, ignoring the buildup of tension that was beginning to happen when he realized his first attempt might not work, and what he would soon hear because of it.

When Harry said he'd picked one, Lupin told Harry the name of the spell was Expecto Patronum. Harry repeated the spell back, then Lupin had to remind him he had to be thinking on his happy memory while saying it. Harry quickly set to both,

"Oh, yeah, multitasking," Sirius smirked over at him, successfully distracting both Harry and James and causing them to give halfhearted glares.

then he accidentally mispronounced the spell as expecto patrono, before correcting it was expecto patronum.

"Can't expect you to get it perfect on the first try," Remus grinned encouragingly at him.

To his surprise, something silver came out of his wand.

"And that's about as far as most of our class got in our seventh year," Sirius laughed.

"While some of us had mastered the spell years ago and showed off a bit," James snickered.

Lily sighed with a roll of her eyes, remembering that memorable class as she'd actually been able to produce her patronus near the end of the lesson, and the near constant teasing from her classmates that her's and James had ended up being a matching pair.

Remus however was scowling all over again, looking ready to snap at his friends to shut up so that he could move past this. Harry couldn't help but wonder why the subject bothered him so much, but again didn't get a chance to ask before he kept going.

Harry was ecstatic, and said he wanted to try on the real thing now. Lupin agreed, but as he made to open the box, something else began occurring to Harry,

"Now's not the time to be distracted," James gently chided with a light smirk in place.

"Wasn't that a bit early?" Lily couldn't help but worry, "he'd only done the barest of it once."

"How could he practice and know it was good enough without testing it?" Remus said right back. "So he produced a vapor, that's good in theory, but if it was going to be helpful he had to try it. He could have sat around for hours working on that one memory and never realized it wasn't useful enough until it was too late."

Lily backed down with a resigned look.

the realization that he'd hear his mother again.

Lily couldn't help but make a horrid choking noise, suddenly realizing how Harry might linger on this, and why he would being as this was the first time he'd heard her voice, and oh Merlin if he actually wanted to linger on this...

This of course was a bad thing, he shouldn't want that, but did he?

"Oh," Lily whimpered, and Harry couldn't help but lean into himself, feeling rather ashamed this wanting of hearing an old echo was causing his family so much pain.

"It's alright Harry," Sirius tried his best to smile over at Harry, who had wrapped his arms around his mother and muttered sorry for her benefit, but now the pair turned back to him curiously as he insisted, "it's sort of like looking in that old mirror. Depressing as all get out, sure, but we can hardly sit around and blame you for wanting this."

James was twitching fiercely, still looking like he was going to be ill but for more reasons than the others suspected. No he did not want to sit around and hear his wife's final moments over again, but like Sirius he could hardly get mad at Harry for wanting it. No, what he was truly afraid of was that if Harry continued to experience this, continued to want it, well then maybe Harry wouldn't even be bothered to fight off the dementors. That could lead to some very horrible possibilities that he had no desire to think on long.

Sirius was taking it in stride that it was his turn to comfort his friend now, and delighted in giving him a sharp poke and reminding him, "I'll say the same thing to you. Don't linger on something you can't fix, Remus is there, I'm sure everything will be fine."

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Remus grumbled at him, noting James did look slightly better as he rolled his eyes but at least seemed distracted from whatever he'd been thinking, and Harry and Lily did look marginally better as well.

"Who says I'm in any kind of good mood?" He demanded right back in a hushed whisper, and Remus did note that his hands seemed to be shaking and he did look almost as pale as Remus himself at this prolonged topic, so he decided to press on and hope Harry would get a hold of this spell soon.

Then the dementor rose out, and it was just as horrible as every other time, all the candles in the room going out at its presence.

Harry shuddered in remembered disgust, not at all appreciating this boggart dementor could cause the same effects as a real dementor even on something as little as the lights.

Harry tried, raising his wand and shouting the spell repeatedly,

Remus was frowning and jittering in place, knowing the spell should have worked the first time, his repeated incantations obviously weren't helping, which meant he'd been right and Harry hadn't picked a powerful enough memory, which meant he was fixing to have to read something he'd rather gouge out his eyes then do.

but it wasn't working, and already the echo of a woman was screaming in his ears,

Remus couldn't help but choke and hesitate for a moment, but if Sirius could force this out he'd be damned if he couldn't as well so read as swiftly as possible.

the same as before, Lily Potter pleading to spare her son, and a high cruel laughter...

Lily in no way felt any better about hearing this then any of her boys, but upon the second time hearing this, the shock had worn off some and she couldn't help but wonder, why was she getting the chance to plead at all? Voldemort had never once been known for sparing his victims, and why her, the mudblood? Perhaps he'd taken a moment to gloat? She'd recognized back in the first book that her sacrifice had saved her son's life, but she was still craving for details of exactly how and why. It was all she could come up with on the spot, and she most certainly was not going to bring it up to the others as they all looked likely to cry any moment now.

then someone was saying his name and Harry jerked back to awareness on the floor, glasses nearly slipping off of his face from left over sweat. He apologized at once,

Lily couldn't help but release a surprised giggle she in no way really felt, but it was better than letting her breath continue to hitch as she forced herself not to cry. Without any prompting she murmured to Harry, "no need to apologize love, you've done nothing wrong."

Harry just shrugged, knowing his first instinct was always to apologize if he hadn't done something right the first time, and also that old shame reappearing of passing out, especially in front of a teacher he respected so much.

but Lupin only asked if he was okay while handing Harry a Chocolate Frog. He reassured Harry he wasn't surprised he hadn't done it right off the bat, it would have been nearly impossible for him to.

"You see," James forced the ghost of his old smile, "you should learn now you probably won't ever have a real reason to apologize to Moony. He understands."

Harry admitted the memory was getting worse, it was louder every time and he could hear Voldemort, he trailed off and looked up to see Lupin going paler than usual.

"Can't imagine why," Sirius shuddered, wishing he could be in the room as well to comfort these two then as he was trying to now.

He tried to tell Harry they didn't have to go on, but Harry insisted he had to do this, eating the Frog in one big bite and then saying what if the dementors showed up again at his next match?

"I'll have Dumbledore fired." James scowled heavily at the thought of this happening again. "Someone should take some bleeding precautions to make sure this doesn't bloody happen again."

Harry couldn't tell if his Dad was kidding about getting the headmaster fired for this, but he looked so furious in that moment he decided against asking.

It would be his fault his team didn't win the Cup!

"Whatever motive helps you to get past this," Lily sighed in relief, thinking she'd never knock another Quidditch game again if that's what took Harry to get past this awful memory.

Harry told that he just needed a better memory to focus on, and decided on last year when his house team had won the House Championship.

"I can't believe his happy memories are even depressing me at this point," James muttered for Sirius alone. Sirius nodded in understanding, knowing full well why James would be so upset about this. Not to say these shouldn't be happy memories, but the boy really didn't have anything outside of school things to be happy for? Nothing involving Ron and Hermione even? The ache of not having been present in his life to make any kind of appearance now hadn't been there for a while, which made it all the sharper the longer they thought on this.

Lupin agreed he'd give Harry another go, and Harry tried again, trying his hardest to stay on that happy memory while shouting the incantation again and again,

Remus was already wincing, having guessed Harry's new memory was hardly better than the old one, and none too pleased about being proven wrong.

but this time something new was happening, more shouting in his head as a man screamed at Lily to run, take Harry and run for it, he'd stop him.

Then Remus shuddered so hard the book knocked against his knee a few times, not that he really noticed. Of course, he should have realized at this rate of progression, if Harry had heard Lily of course he'd hear James too, and it was just his luck he'd get to read about both of them back to back, and no he wasn't fixing to vomit or cry. He had to shake his head around a few times to clear his vision and focused back to find James gritting his teeth so hard he was likely to break his jaw.

Sirius leaned his weight into him again, muttering, "you did all you could, I've no doubt you gave Voldemort the fight of his life, you can't blame yourself for this anymore than us."

James sucked in a soulless breath, but Remus decided it was high time he keep going before he allowed anyone to continue dwelling on this.

Lily continued her own internal monologue at this point, forcefully shaking off that terrible mental image in favor of thinking on why that wouldn't have worked? James had clearly just died trying to spare her and their son, why hadn't his sacrifice counted for both her and Harry's? What was the real difference there? She despised not knowing the answer, as she'd do anything to make it so that her family would never be harmed by this.

This time Harry came out of it to find Lupin tapping him on the face.

"And thank Merlin for that," Harry groaned, rubbing at his temple and trying very hard to comfort his mother even half as well as she'd been trying to do for him. It wasn't any more pleasant for her to hear James' last moments then it was for her to hear her own.

Harry came out of it slowly this time, muttering that this time he'd heard his father's last moments, and it took him a moment to realize that wasn't just sweat running down his eyes.

Remus couldn't help muttering under his breath he'd be lucky if he didn't mimic Harry in this future, and only hoped Harry actually admitting this to him would finally prompt himself to tell Harry why this would bother him so much.

He turned his head away and pretended to fix his shoe so Lupin wouldn't see.

"Credit for trying anyway," Lily offered for him, knowing it was pointless and Remus would have seen. Now all she was wondering was if he was going to ignore the instance, or jump on the opportunity to really comfort him.

He was surprised to hear his teacher's voice come out strange as he repeated Harry had heard James?

"Strange indeed," Sirius nodded, still concentrating more on bothering James by occasionally reaching over and poking him when it looked like he was about to join Harry very soon in his own tears, though it seemed more out of frustration than anything now; he seemed to be feeling like he'd failed his family and let them down. Sirius was trying all he could, but there was only so much he could convince his best mate of how stupid that was.

Face now at least semi dry, Harry agreed he had, then asked if Lupin had known him?

"Oh, I'm sure he's heard my name in passing or something," James grumbled, avoiding everybody's eyes and returning Sirius' newest prod with a sharp elbow snap of his own to get him to stop.

Lupin said he had, they'd been in school together. Then he told Harry it may be time to stop for the night.

"That's all you've got," Lily snapped, green eyes flashing furiously. "Merlin what's gotten into you Remus? Would you two quit it," she finished sharply, causing James and Sirius to freeze in the process of out smacking each other.

"He started it," James said at once.

"What are you, five?" Sirius demanded with a roll of his eyes. They were both trying their very hardest not to throw accusing looks at Remus all over again, still unable to process one bit how he could simply gloss over this as if they really had just been passing kids.

James thought of all three of his friends like brothers, he'd always known they'd felt the same, but now he was beginning to wonder if that feeling hadn't faded out of Remus with time? Remus was rather busy with the Order, nearly constantly going on missions for Dumbledore to keep an eye on the opposing side's werewolves as well as a few other lone missions. Was it possible his time dead had made him forget? Did he really no longer care for Harry the way he did now? He knew people changed, but he never would have seen this coming, unless there was something else going on? His mind floundered though, trying to come up with anything that would satisfactorily explain this mess.

If Harry had spoken right then, maybe they could have worked it out, but he didn't. Harry kept his feeling bottled up like usual, trying his very hardest to both understand and ignore all at once why he felt like he might know what was keeping Remus so hesitant right then. Something personal he was sure, something about the memory of James that really stung.

Remus was looking dejected and angrier in himself in that moment than he had in almost all his life, and when no one spoke up again to even offer a word this time he read on with a lot more venom than intended.

Lupin was scolding himself now for even having offered this, it was clearly to hard on Harry,

"Well I'm glad someone did," Lily sniffed, noting no one else like McGonagall or Dumbledore seemed to be going out of their way to make sure Harry was alright after that first instance.

but Harry protested he had to keep trying, he just needed the best memory possible. He decided on when he'd been told he was leaving the Dursleys to come to school. If that wasn't a happy memory then nothing was.

"I'll actually back you up on that one," Sirius nodded with forced cheerfulness, remembering quite well how smug he'd been upon the realization he finally had an excuse to get out of his parents' house, a house he was already growing to question even before he'd started school and learned what a real family could be like.

Concentrating with all his might on how he'd felt when he'd realized he'd be leaving Privet Drive,

Lily still couldn't help the little miserable sigh that came out of her upon the reminder that leaving his home was considered a happy memory at all, but the fact that her and James were so clearly not in the picture, that anyone decent before Hagrid wasn't there for him, made that combination of anger and depression come back again full force.

Lupin agreed Harry could have one more chance, but he also looked like he was regretting it.

'Well I'm beginning to question my own better judgment' Remus snarled against himself, more than sick of his future actions, or lack thereof in this case.

He released the boggart again, and Harry began shouting the charm at the top of his lungs, and to his surprise the dementor wasn't coming forward, instead the screaming from his mind was going in and out like a messed up radio.

"Brilliant," James suddenly beamed, blinking in surprise at what he found an exceptionally powerful bit of magic being shown right then.

"Harry's doing it," Sirius now yelped, egging Remus on to see how long his little pup could pull this off, whether he could somehow possibly increase the power behind that and actually create a corporeal patronus.

He stood his ground, but the longer he held onto the charm and memory, which was nothing more then a huge silver shadow, the weaker he felt, like the life was being drained right out of him, and he feared he couldn't stay on his feet much longer,

"It didn't say what the silver shadow was," Lily noted, trying to brush past the fact that this was draining so much out of her son and Remus really should step in soon.

"It said 'huge' must be something big," James offered curiously.

"Maybe he'd turn into an elephant, or a bear, or a hippo? That would be interesting," Sirius offered with a smirk.

"You just listed three of the most random animals you could," Harry noted with amusement, still brushing past the annoyance he couldn't remember himself.

then Lupin jumped in, calling out Riddikulus.

"Thank you," Lily sighed in relief.

The boggart switched back to a silver orb as Lupin forced it back into the box with his own silver fog.

"How come you were doing that with just the fog instead of the full patronus?" Harry asked curiously, now wondering if Remus' patronus wasn't the cause for his surly attitude for this particular bit. Hadn't his mum said it would be a wolf? Was this what was bothering him so much, that an animal meant to represent your spirit was one he hated so much?

"I didn't want to chase it off like a Patronus would have done," Remus said absently, "just wanted to ward it off long enough to put it back." Then he kept reading quickly before Harry got a chance to ask further.

Lupin turned to Harry and praised him, that was as good a way to start off as anything.

"It really was dear, don't be so hard on yourself," Lily agreed when she saw how frustrated he still looked.

"Look at it this way," James offered, casting his mind around for Harry to see this the proper way, "at least if you're able to produce this already, you'll be able to keep them off you long enough to hit the ground and call time out, and that's just after the third try! I'm positive by the next match it won't even be draining you as much."

Harry considered this for a moment before nodding in acceptance. He still somehow knew he could do better than this, somehow felt he was capable of producing the full Patronus, but for now he'd accept the shorter option for the sake of his game.

Harry wasn't as pleased, asking for another try, but Remus refused and gave Harry a whole bar of chocolate, telling him to eat the entire thing or Pomfrey would go after his skin.

Despite how annoyed Sirius still felt by Remus, it didn't stifle his giggling one bit at that mental sentence. Nor did it really dull just how grateful he was that Remus was doing this at all, he'd take Harry getting defense against dementors with a touch of annoyance at Remus any day.

Telling Harry he could try again next week. Harry agreed to that, while something new occurred to him,

Remus was already frowning, mentally preparing himself for how this could go but didn't give anyone a chance to ask Harry before reading.

and asked if Lupin had known James Potter, then he must have known Sirius Black.

Sirius went "eh" and waved his hand in a vague gesture with a roll of his eyes while Remus grumbled, "Wish I didn't some days."

"Well this ought to be fun," James snapped with a touch more sarcasm than normal, guessing this wouldn't go any better than when his name had come up.

Lupin spun on the spot, demanding to know why Harry would think that.

"Dumb luck and an inherited sneakiness," Lily grinned indulgently.

Harry played it off, he'd just heard that they had been friends at school, and Remus relaxed again.

"Thought you were going to be found out about hiding my arse huh?" Sirius snickered.

"I wouldn't have any idea what Harry really knew about it," Remus shrugged, "so I can imagine I was being a bit cautious."

"At least you were vaguely more subtle then dropping something this time," James agreed with an idiotic grin in place.

Then he admitted he had, or thought he had.

"Ouch," Sirius winced as if Remus had smacked him again, "make sure you don't try and drop a hint of what you really think or anything."

Remus had his head cocked to the side curiously, still more blasted than anything why he and Sirius weren't trying to talk to Harry and tell him what surely must really be going on. Aside from Harry, why else would Sirius be hanging around here? It had been more than enough time that he really was beginning to wonder if something else wasn't floating around that the pair of them were trying to figure out, and clearly wanting to leave Harry out of.

Then he told Harry to get back to his common room, and Harry did leave but didn't get far before sitting down to finish his food,

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to share with Ron either," James muttered, like the others still distracted by that small little exchange.

and regretting having asked about Black as Lupin clearly didn't like talking about it.

"Probably doesn't like being asked about it because he's such a terrible actor," Sirius snickered.

"Now that's not fair," James disagreed at once, mischief sparkling in his eyes as he appraised him, "Remus always came up with the best lies on the spot."

"He just couldn't say it without acting like a shifty little nit," Lily agreed fondly.

Remus made sure all of them could see how unamused he was by their light picking before reading on loudly.

Then his mind wandered back to his parents.

"Oh come on, go back to talking about me now," Sirius scowled, deciding he'd spend a whole book about his life in Azkaban rather than consistently hear about this!

James didn't really agree with him, but he hardly looked any happier about Harry's current train of thought.

It was the worst thing imaginable to be hearing their last moments of life, and yet, these were the only moments Harry had of them. If he did manage a Patronus, would he ever hear them again?

Lily made a horrible choking noise somewhere between wanting to vomit and a sob, hardly able to comprehend what that must feel like, knowing she didn't want that for her son but unable to even begin to say it was wrong for him to want it.

Harry tried to give them as much comfort as he could by offering, "that's not true anymore. Please guys, I'm sure I don't dwell on this for long, and now I've got all the time in the world to hear you guys talk."

This was hardly the cure for the situation at hand, but it was a brief reminder that this future just had to be changed, they wouldn't allow anything else to be possible.

Then he spoke aloud to himself that they were dead, and hearing that stuff wasn't going to bring them back.

"And there's that," James frowned, but didn't say it loud enough for anyone to have heard him.

He had to stay focused if he wanted to win the Cup.

"There you go, focus on your goals," Sirius encouraged, anything to keep away from that vat of depression.

And that he did. The next game played out that Slytherin won against Ravenclaw,

"Dang," the boys muttered, knowing they would have been much happier playing Ravenclaw than Slytherin for the simple fact it would have been more sporting. There was already so much bad blood between Gryffindor and Slytherin they didn't really need the Championship to fall between them.

but Wood saw this as a good thing and made their practices go up to five a week.

"Five?" Lily scowled, "Merlin, he's a seventh year, doesn't he have his own homework!"

"I feel like, so long as he wins the Cup, he doesn't really care about his NEWT's," James shrugged, "my best bet for this kid, he's probably looking for a career in the World's."

Lily still couldn't help but frown, thinking he should have some other career to fall back on rather than banking on a sport, but as she wasn't his mother she really couldn't say anything else.

Between that and his one a weeks with Lupin, which took his energy more than any of his sports practice,

Remus couldn't help but wince a bit, wondering if he was taking too much out of Harry, but upon reflection he admitted he really couldn't do much else. Harry needed those lessons no matter how much they took out of him, and it's not as if he could lower them any.

Harry was left with one day a week to pull off his homework. Even he wasn't showing the strain as much as Hermione though, who's abundance of classes finally seemed to be getting to her.

Sirius nodded in agreement, though he looked more in pity than smugness as he commented, "surprised it took her this long to crack honestly."

These days she was seen doing nothing but extensive essays, and would grow fiery whenever someone even spoke to her.

"And I thought she was a bit of a workaholic before," James frowned in sympathy, wondering how much this girl could really be sleeping with all of that.

Ron was still stunned by the feat, asking how she was pulling it off one day while doing homework for Potions they were studying Undetectable Poisons and he had an essay due.

"So many jokes to make about that, I don't know where to start," Sirius smirked, picturing all sorts of pleasant poisons he wouldn't have a problem getting his hands on.

It just didn't seem possible she could attend all of her Arithmancy classes, which were all scheduled at the same time as Care of Magical Creatures, but her classmates could put her in both.

"Wait, what?" Lily demanded, her eyes going wide in disbelief. "He can't mean that, it's not possible."

"What did you think her schedule was implying for her to do?" Harry demanded in exasperation, rubbing at his own temple in frustration as the answer yet again slipped through.

"That, I don't know, that she was somehow keeping up with all of those classes through notes and special permission, but this is unfounded. There's no way she could actually be attending those classes, at the same time."

"Time," Sirius muttered under his breath, "what on earth was it, time watch, time-"

"What are the odds Hermione will just decide to tell them when you ask?" James groaned, more than sick of all of these mysteries surrounding his son's life. One peaceful, uneventful, quiet year; was that too much to ask for?

Lily sat there for a few moments more, running her hand through her hair in frustration she couldn't figure this out before turning back to watch Remus.

"Since they've yet to make up for that fight about the broom, slim to none," Remus muttered, turning back to the book without hope. None of them seemed to notice Sirius was quietly muttering to himself, trying to sift through a half drunken memory.

Ernie was in her Muggle Studies, and he'd seen her in every one which were at the exact same time as their Divinations, and she'd never missed that either.

"Pity that, since they're so dang useless," Harry grumbled.

Harry was really too busy to wonder at Hermione,

"Harry clearly didn't inherit my nosiness then," James grinned, "I'd have never let this slide without getting an answer."

"Don't I know it," Remus grumbled.

but he still didn't have a chance to focus on his homework when Wood showed up.

"What, five practices a week isn't enough, he's got to come to you to strategy talk while you're doing your homework," Lily muttered.

The conversation didn't start well, as Wood told he'd just been to see their transfiguration teacher, and she'd lost her temper with him. Wood had been demanding Harry's broom back, for some odd reason McGonagall seemed to think he had his priorities mixed up since he was saying he didn't care if the broom chucked Harry to the ground so long as he got the Snitch on the way.

"Ge, wonder where she got that opinion of," Sirius scowled, hoping with everything he had Wood was just joking when he'd made that comment.

Wood then rolled his eyes, clearly not realizing why McGonagall had been yelling at him like he'd said something bad.

Lily couldn't tell from Remus' tone whether Wood really had been kidding, she sure hoped that was sarcasm because otherwise she'd have as much to say to Wood as she'd like to Malfoy.

Wood had tried to get a time frame, but McGonagall had said they were still working on it, so Wood told Harry it was time to settle on buying another.

"Oh, I'm sure she won't keep it that long," James frowned, "McGonagall really does care about the game and Harry's chances of winning."

"She just happens to care about Harry that little bit more to make sure he's going to be safe," Lily added on with a touch of venom that made all of them edge away from her in fear.

He offered Harry to go and buy a Nimbus Two Thousand and One like Malfoy, but Harry refused to buy anything Malfoy liked.

"Don't bias your opinion about the broom Harry," Sirius chided lightly, "just because that brat has one doesn't make the model crappy."

"If you really had to," James added without really meaning it, "you could always just order another Nimbus Two Thousand if it bothers you that much, but since it won't be necessary it's a moot point."

Harry wasn't getting much of an option though, as the game kept cropping closer and he still didn't have a broom of his own.

James and Sirius were both frowning and getting jittery again as they realized the next game would be coming up, and what exactly that game would mean to them. They had yet to go one single match without having near heart failure, and it would be an unjust world if the same happened in the next. Surely one of them would get a good sound Quidditch game.

Harry was now pestering his head of house constantly after every one of her classes about his Firebolt,

"Oh I'm sure she just loved that," Lily scowled, giving her son a very obvious look about how rude she felt that was. Harry looked properly abashed for this, but didn't look any less eager to hear the news.

but McGonagall told him off as well, saying they weren't done.

"Ooh, getting snippy I see," Sirius couldn't help but smile, remembering how they'd used to place bets on how hard it was to really test her nerves.

They'd gone over the basic things, but they still couldn't be sure, and stop bothering her about it.

"Well Harry's clearly learned how to push at least one of her buttons," James grinned.

"I'm sure you know the rest of them and have them all perfectly labeled," Lily huffed, not at all pleased how amused her husband was by this.

It didn't help his patronus charm wasn't getting any better.

"What, why!" Their vague amusement had switched right back to concern, not at all pleased if it turns out Harry's strength behind that spell was only weakening with time.

Weeks later, and he still hadn't managed any more then that same silver shadow the first night,

Which caused them all to release a breath of relief, Remus quickly turning to assure Harry, "that's as much progress as you really can hope for in such a time Harry. You are dealing with a seventh-year spell after all. Plus, if you're trying to use that same memory over and over again, you won't be getting a different result."

Harry nodded in understanding, still frustrated but accepting he may be asking too much of himself in this case. Perhaps this feeling was wrong, and he didn't master this spell like he'd first thought.

and he was now blaming himself for his secret want of just hearing his parents voices.

"You cannot hope to control that," James sighed, trying to keep as much misery out of his voice as possible as he consoled, "all you can do is try to focus on something else."

Harry nodded in understanding, still wishing more than anything else he'd never had this experience to begin with, that his father giving him advice now wasn't so treasured because it should have been commonplace.

Lupin tried to coach him, Harry was doing as well as he could,

"At least Remus will set him right," Sirius nodded sternly.

that at his age what he was doing was amazing! He wasn't even passing out anymore.

"And there's the silver lining I was looking for," Lily beamed, smoothing Harry's hair flat for a second.

Harry sighed that he'd thought the Patronus would make the dementor go away for good, and Lupin agreed that's what a full patronus would do, but what Harry was pulling off would be enough to make his way to the ground in the event of the next game.

"And that's all you we're asking for walking in," James reminded.

Harry bit at his lip, still wanting to argue and say he could do more than this, but still agreed all the same he'd take would he could get.

He told Harry to take a break, then offered him a drink from the Three Broomsticks, something he wouldn't have had before.

"Uh-oh," Sirius said at once in a sing-song voice.

"Let's see if Harry's any better at playing this off then Remus himself would be," James agreed brightly. Since the only thing Remus would bring Harry would be this one nonalcoholic drink that he had tried, there really was no doubt in their mind. In fact they felt a warmth sweeping through themselves as if they'd just had their own mug of Butterbeer at the obvious thought Remus had tried to put into this simple action. Even sharing a drink with Harry like this was putting more effort into spending time with him then he'd really yet shown outside of these lessons where he seemed to still be going out of his way to avoid personal talk.

Harry realized it was Butterbeer, and said he knew he liked that.

"Obviously not," Lily giggled at Harry's slip up.

Lupin looked surprised, and Harry quickly fudged that Ron and Hermione had brought him some once.

"Not impossible," Sirius snickered.

"But if it's anything like the face you've made before while lying," James smirked, "I'm betting Remus would have seen through that."

Lupin didn't look convinced, but seemed to let it go.

"So what?" James' grin only got wider, "S'not like he's going to do anything about it."

"He'd be a right hypocrite if he did," Sirius agreed, patting Remus' shoulder to make sure he completely understood what he meant.

Remus rolled his eyes at the pair of them, but couldn't help but muster up a grin as he was very sure they were right and he'd probably laugh if he really found out how Harry had gotten a hold of this drink.

Then he offered to toast a Gryffindor win, though quickly corrected himself he wasn't picking sides as a teacher.

"Oh no, not at all," Sirius cackled.

They took a drink before Harry asked what was under a dementor's hood.

"Merlin Harry, you've got some rotten timing," James sighed since that had managed to dry up Sirius' humor at once.

"Sorry," Harry said instantly, looking beseechingly at his godfather as he obviously realized he'd just asked a question no one was going to like the answer to.

"Don't apologize," Sirius said at once, rubbing his hands against his knees and more than happy for the distraction of talking to Harry rather than think about the answer he knew Remus was about to give. "Unless you're really telling me that at thirteen you somehow knew this was going to happen." He finished waving his arm around vacantly.

Harry laughed lightly for a moment at how absurd it sounded, relieving a bit of tension.

Lupin lowered his drink in thought.

"Thoughtfully eh?" Lily grumbled, shivering in disgust and almost hoping Remus would skive on the details of this answer.

He began to say that no one who would know was coherent enough to say,

"Understatement," James mumbled, keeping a protective eye on Sirius as he continued losing color at this topic. He was clearly picturing himself surrounded on all sides again by these monsters.

because a dementor only lowered it's hood to give what was called a Dementor's Kiss, giving a rueful smile at the end.

"You sure seem to be taking this lightly," Lily scowled at him.

"I'm positive I find it just as funny then as I do now," Remus rebuked, using the same deadpan tone to make sure she understood how awful he really felt about this.

He explained that they latched onto a person with its resemblance of a mouth, and sucked the soul right out of you.

Harry couldn't help but startle a bit, leaning back into his seat and turning slightly green at this.

Harry spat a bit of drink in shock as he began to ask that they killed! Lupin explained though that a human body could survive without its soul, but it wasn't really a life. It wasn't something they could ever get back, they'd just be a husk of a human.

"Please Remus, butter that up a bit more, I don't think you quite hit impending doom just right," Sirius scowled outright now.

Remus couldn't help but chuckle at his friend showing such a sense of humor now when he was very clearly disturbed the most by this whole thing.

Then he told that it was set to happen to Sirius,

Remus hadn't been able to choke out his whole name before he jolted like he'd just been electrocuted and the book flew across the room.

"They what!" Lily screeched, getting to her feet and going as red as her hair. "They, why! That sentence hasn't been used on the worst of the Death Eaters, what in Merlin's beard made anyone think it was okay for this to happen!"

James looked on lockdown, blinking spastically as if he was hearing the news about Sirius' crime all over again and finding it just as disturbing now as he did then. Sirius was the last person on earth who deserved that fate, what on earth was going on that someone had approved of this.

Sirius was actually wavering a bit, for a moment he truly looked like he was about to pass out right there. Remus wanted to, he really did, to reach over and grasp his shoulder, make sure he understood that they would die before letting that happen to him...but he was a little lost in his own mind this time; because what was disturbing him more than anything was the absolute careless way he seemed to mention that to Harry!

Of course he wasn't there right now, Harry may not be seeing it for how he was feeling now, like a five-ton weight was crashing his innards at the mere mention of this let alone the thought happening. Still, Harry should have noted how hard that should have been for him to say, to go pale and lose color, even shift around slightly or possibly drop his butterbeer, anything to indicate what he'd just said should show some bloody discomfort to himself! What in the name of Merlin could have happened that of all the reactions in the world, he'd define that one as almost careless in regards to one of his closest friend, someone he'd regard as a brother. Surely...surely he may have just been acting. He'd have to play it off like this to make sure no one suspected him of helping Sirius. There just wasn't any other explanation, not a one that didn't end in him really believing Sirius deserved this, but that would mean Sirius had really done all of this-

"James, I think he's really gone into shock or something."

"Merlin, you know it's bad when he freaked out more than I did-"

"Sirius don't do that-"

To late Remus had phased back into the conversation and Sirius was already giving him a very hard poke in between his ribs which did have the desired effect of having him jerk and rub at the spot and have reality slam back into his brain with a harsh slap in the face.

"What's gotten into you?" James demanded, pushing Sirius out of the way and giving them both stern looks, and making them both unsure who he was demanding that of until he turned to face Remus with his arms crossed to continue. "Remus I am positive it doesn't happen, just like I was telling Sirius. Harry would have reacted much worse than the pair of you."

Harry was nodding eagerly over his father's shoulder, bouncing on his heels and watching him just as carefully, looking like he was personally blaming himself for whatever reaction this had caused.

"I-" he stuttered, giving his head one more shake to clear away any and all poisonous thoughts, "yeah, you're right, of course. Just, just caught off guard is all." He tried to prove he meant it by taking to his feet and going to fetch the book, but couldn't deny he did a rather crappy job of it as he couldn't quite meet anyone's eyes. The words kept echoing in his head over and over again, 'the fate that awaits Sirius...' but no James and Harry were both right, nothing was going to happen, and Harry was surely just not watching him well enough, still distracted by the information he'd been given. That must be it!

The others had settled down enough again and were returning to their seats, and Remus made quick work of finding his place again and reading on very loudly to distract himself more than anything.

Black. He'd heard it in the newspaper that the ministry had approved of it when the dementors got hold of him.

Lily still mumbled a few foul things under her breath about what she thought of this but Remus clearly wasn't going to stop for that.

Harry felt shocked for a moment, before blurting out that he deserved it.

"I'm sorry," Harry said instantly, looking close to tears because those words had ever passed his lips. "I'm so sorry Sirius, I-"

Sirius waved him off, effectively pretending he hadn't just thrown up a little in his mouth and he wasn't blinking back tears of his own that Harry had ever thought this of him in any way, shape or form.

Remus did take a small moment to look pitifully at the pair of them before trying to read on without a wobble in his voice.

Lupin looked curiously at Harry as he asked if he really meant that?

'I'd like to think I was more offended, or heartbroken, or anything!' His mind screamed at him, begging Harry to pick up some detail that Remus had been any kind of distressed at this conversation, but Harry was still busy watching Sirius and he could never explain himself if he asked for that kind of thing now.

Harry said Black deserved it for, for some things, and he trailed off from there.

"Subtle Harry, nice and subtle" Lily murmured, wrapping her arm around his shoulders for a moment to comfort them both since Harry was still twitching in agitation that he was the cause for so many of the depressing feelings circling through the room.

Harry wanted to tell Lupin about that story he'd overheard in the Three Broomsticks, but that would involve his going there which still wasn't allowed, and he didn't think Lupin would be impressed with that.

"I'd take that bet," James offered with forced amusement, still trying to watch both Sirius and Remus at the same time since both of them still looked so out of it and at any given time might faint or bolt from all of this pent up stress.

Harry finished his drink and left, half wishing he hadn't asked now at the thought of that happening to a soul and wondering what that would feel like.

"Oh joy, a whole new wondrous thing to brood on!" Sirius hissed, shifting his weight around and dearly wishing he had the baby in his lap, or anything to help take his attention off this hell storm.

He was so distracted that he walked right into McGonagall.

"Well she must not have been paying attention to where she was going either, otherwise she wouldn't have run into you," Lily pointed out in a vain attempt to find some humor again.

Harry began to apologize, but McGonagall explained that she'd been looking for Harry, that their testing was done, and how he must have some friend out there.

Remus blinked spastically for a few seconds, rereading that bit again for good measure and then joining his friends in a whoop of joy. It may have seemed petty and a bit shallow, but after the horrid news they'd just experienced any type of good thing to look on would be celebrated for as long as possible. So all five of them spent a rousing time laughing and commending Harry on getting his broom back, more than amused and waiting for the moment where McGonagall exclaimed she'd been wrong and of course nothing was wrong with a broom like that! By the time Remus was ready to move on their spirits had lifted so much they were almost genuinely smiling for what felt like the first time in ages.

Harry took back his Firebolt with numb hands, the model still looking brand new.

"But of course," James scoffed, "she'd never do a thing to harm that broom."

Harry could hardly believe it, asking 'seriously?'

"As Sirius as I am," Sirius beamed, bouncing around in sheer pleasure.

They were in such a good mood that James and Remus didn't even physically scold him for that but instead just groaned miserably at what they felt was an overused joke.

McGonagall agreed seriously.

"She means it I'm sure, McGonagall wouldn't joke about that," Lily said quickly before Sirius could make the same joke in a row.

She then encouraged Harry to be training hard for the coming game, or they'd have lost for the eighth year in a row, something Snape had been oh so kind of mentioning last night.

"I'm sure that had absolutely nothing to do with you getting this back the next day, nothing at all," Sirius released a bark like laugh at the end at the thought of that exchange.

Harry could hardly believe it he was so happy as he ran towards his common room, only to be met by Ron grinning just as widely.

"Suppose he's been running around the castle like a crazy person looking for you," Remus snickered.

He saw the broom in Harry's hands and exalted that he really did have it back, then asked if he'd still be allowed his ride?

"Merlin, Harry hasn't even gotten his first go on it, give him a chance," James chuckled.

Harry agreed he'd keep his word, then voiced that they should go apologize to Hermione now, she had just been trying to help.

"Harry!" Lily snapped, some of her amusement beginning to ebb away. "You should have apologized to her ages ago, not the moment you get the broom back. If you knew all along she was just trying to help, why were you being so rude to her for so long?"

Harry opened then closed his mouth, turning away sheepishly and only murmuring a few halfhearted replies. Truthfully this fight felt as shallow as his mother made it out to be in hindsight, even before he'd gotten his broom back he'd felt guilty for his actions and really had been wanting to apologize and just hadn't been able to think of a way to phrase it, not as used to it as Ron about making up in fights or even having them really. He'd chosen to say this now because here he had a ready made reason to go and talk to her again.

He said as much, and some of Lily's anger washed back out of her when she realized how repentant Harry clearly was.

Ron agreed, saying she was up in the dorm as well, studying for once.

"Forever love his sense of humor," Sirius snickered.

They got to the portrait hole to see Cadogan refusing Neville entrance. Neville explained he'd gotten Cadogan to give him the list of passwords,

"And how did he work that out?" Sirius yelped in surprise.

"Can't have conned it out of him, Neville doesn't seem the type," Remus said thoughtfully.

"Possibly did a favor for him, some of the portraits will go for that," James offered.

but now he'd lost them.

"The poor thing," Lily sighed in sympathy, wishing Neville would catch a break every now and then.

Harry told the actual password, oddsbodikins,

"It's no wonder he wrote these things down," Remus rolled his eyes, "I'd forget half of these."

and they went into the whole of the house waiting for their arrival, each eager to get a glance at the Firebolt.

"Not surprised one bit," James couldn't help but beam, puffing his chest out slightly with undiluted pride his son was getting this well-deserved attention for a change.

One person asked Harry how he'd gotten it,

"From the best Godfather ever," Sirius said just a tad pompously, which only increased when no one bothered to correct him, though Lily made sure he could see her eye roll for the comment.

and a barrage of other questions like if he'd been on it yet,

"Sadly not," James was quaking at the thought, "but you won't be able to get him off of it soon."

while one person asked if they could just touch it.

"Well they're an enthusiastic lot," Lily giggled at all of the admirers her son seemed to suddenly have.

Harry allowed it to be passed around a bit, when he spotted Hermione alone at the table. He walked over to her, and said he'd gotten it back.

"Are you sure," Remus quirked a brow in amusement, "are you absolutely positive? Because I'm not convinced that's what that crowd was going on about."

Harry gave him a cheeky little smirk right back, more than pleased that whatever funk Remus had been in during this chapter he was clearly trying very hard to stay out of it.

Ron was rubbing it in just a bit that they'd been right all along.

"Now was that really necessary?" Lily chided.

"Had to make sure he got his point across," Sirius rolled his eyes indulgently at what he was sure was a common exchange between those two at this point.

Hermione agreed, but insisted it was safer now that it had been checked.

"I'll take the trade any day," James nodded in fervent agreement.

Harry agreed, then voiced he wanted to go put it up but he'd be right back. Ron said he'd do it for him, he had to give Scabbers his medicine, and he took Harry's broom and went up the stairs with it like it was made of glass.

Lily was torn for a moment between sighing in exasperation and giggling her head off as all four boys nodded in complete understanding of these actions. Eventually she ended on chuckling and shaking her head at the lot of them.

Harry took a seat and glanced around Hermione's space, where one Arithmancy assignment could be seen ink still wet from its completion,

"I get the feeling she's not trying to outdo herself and do double the length that's required anymore," Remus noted lightly.

while he spotted another in progress entitled Explain Why Muggles Need Electricity.

Lily blinked in surprise for a moment at what she considered such an odd and obvious topic but then she looked over at Sirius who was nodding and explaining, "I'll tell you more about it later, but it really is one of the main ways they've survived without magic in their life."

James was nodding with a very curious look in place but didn't pester more of an answer out of him, Sirius explaining it would be far more fun than him ignoring a lecture at any rate.

Harry asked how she had survived all of this, and Hermione tried to just say it was all hard work, but Harry saw her eyes looked as dark as Lupins.

James let out a low and throaty whistle, Hermione really must look bad for that kind of comparison to be taking place.

Harry asked why she didn't drop a few subjects, and Hermione looked panicked at the thought.

"Oh no, the thought of having a life again is too much for her," Sirius mocked lightly with a rather concerned frown still in place.

Harry insisted Arithmancy would be a good place to start, looking at the complicated numbers.

"It's not so bad," Lily disagreed at the same time James was nodding vigorously and saying, "yeah, she should drop that one." The couple took a small moment to exchange amused looks for disagreeing over something else again.

Hermione began to protest that was her favorite subject and why- but Harry never heard the end of it,

"That was, ominous," Sirius frowned in concern, already trying to lean over Remus and find out why.

Remus budged him out of the way at once, fighting back the temptation to chuck the book back across the room again. They were in such a good mood now, surely nothing too awful was about to happen.

because he was cut off by a horrified scream coming from the stairs. Ron came trampling down them seconds later, a bedsheet in hand.

"A-a bed-" James began stuttering more in shock and confusion, but Remus was still reading in a fevered haste to find out what could possibly cause that kind of reaction.

He froze in front of Hermione, waving the bedding under her nose and screaming about Scabbers!

"Oh bollocks," Sirius muttered, now leaning as far away from the book as possible, his face twisting into quite the look of fear at what this could mean.

"Oh, oh now, he, he didn't," Lily whimpered, shaking her head furiously at what this could imply.

Remus was looking down at the book, dumbstruck for a moment longer before reading out what felt like a harsh blow to his gut.

His rat was gone, and there was blood all over his sheets!

"Why do I have a really, really bad idea," James hissed, drumming his hands furiously on his knees to help alleviate what he could already sense was coming.

Then he threw something onto Hermione's lap, ginger cat hairs.

"Crap." The room muttered as one.

"Oh, poor Ron," Lily whispered, shaking her head miserably.

"I really can't believe no one ever tried to do more to stop this from happening," Remus sighed, placing the book gingerly down in front of him in agitation.

Harry was frowning right along with the rest of them, but for a completely different reason. Something about this felt, wrong. Almost off he supposed, because that wasn't right. He tried for a few moments to understand why he would think this, it seemed perfectly obvious this is what had happened, but then he received a sharp spike for his trouble and made no protest as his Mum made to go and pick up the book.

#Harry Potter #Fanfiction #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #James Potter #Marauders #Lily Potter #PoA #reading the books

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