#this somehow fits her so well
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BARRISS BEING INTO ANCIENT HISTORICAL BATTLE REENACTMENT ??? HELLO??
#ama talks#barriss offee#star wars#this somehow fits her so well#she would be the one who can name any and all techniques and who came up with it and when it was relevant in history#gffa#jedi
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some business to take care of
#i was tempted to caption this as she was a skater boy and she was also another skater boy but#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#enstars#whats up guys im being embarrassing again on main#been wanting a new phone wallpaper and this was born. its the lesbian version though im not showing that#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#also have additional doodles that r kind of corny and im too ashamed to add into the main post so i might add on a reblog or maybe not#midterms were so awful i had to keep reminding myself i can go ham drawing whatever i want once im done. and naturally its this#anyways ive always liked midos city rider fit it suits her so well#always wanted to find a good one to pair w it and the wink killer 2nd half xscout was toooo good i was inspired immediately#finally could use this good ref pic ive had saved since forever i need to draw backgrounds more too it was rather fun somehow#mental state has been yoyoing an insane degree lately like come on i dont need to be reminded i am a useless hunk of meat every other day#with nothing good going for them. college is amazing at reminding me of such god bless#i have bad tendencies to self isolate behind the excuse of concentrating that i am trying to fix . but its hard to get back when i do#not to mention the entire Big Event happening over in good ol amerika serikat!!! my apathy is naturally immense#but whats some peace of mind here and there idk. im gonna read yuri
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We'll be fine from epic the musical, but it's Hornet and Ghost.
#I have assigned many epic songs to hk characters I think this is one of the most fitting.#“cause I got in a fight and I didn't die!!” That is so Ghost#I also kinda like warrior of the mind for Hornet and Ghost#Hornet is very Athena#But in my goodbye Radiance is Athena and at first I pictured Hollow as her Odysseus but actually it fits the traitor lord so well#Like a Traitor lord who turns against the Radiance somehow#Oh and that reminds me fight little wolf is the traitor lord and his warriors going up against Ghost#and Cloth is Athena in that one#I've been listening to a lot of epic recently if you couldn't tell by this rambling XD#hollow knight#hk ghost#hk little ghost#hk hornet
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sleepovers save money on hotel rooms while on missions 👍
#finn's ocs#finn's art#sorry i was super offline the past few days but i had some time to draw between stuff so. them :)#besides i might as well draw all them hanging out like this after drawing PJ designs. but unlike in those i gave polaris and saiph pants#let them at least be decent while hanging out LOL#i want to draw lots more misc oc stuff now that i have all the refs done#but somehow i have too many ideas and yet none at all at the same time! if you have suggestions lmk 😅#anyway polaris is annoyed at saiph here because he wont stop moving his head even though the braiding was his idea lol#bella passed the fuck out shes one of those ppl who have a very set sleep schedule#wakes up at 6am falls asleep immediately at 9pm#lets all pray she doesnt wake up with something stupid drawn on her face tomorrow#mira is just having fun tho shes reading to everyone every cute :) saiph interrupts with commentary (causing further annoyance from polaris#al is mostly observing like hes just happy to be hanging out. also having al be the most in the shadows because of course#but he likes watching his friends interact. but also hey man his eyes are up there#anyway i tried my best w the colors here so hopefully it looks okay. i wanted something warm but also kinda dark to give off late night vib#i hope tumblr doesnt kill the quality tho! it looks kinda blurry rn but it might be ok when i hit post#if it fits well i might make it my new blog header too? maybee#^_^
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#sooo here’s vertin#reverse 1999#fanart#I was thinking of drawing regulus#but you know I also like the necrologist and I’m not sure why#but she doesn’t fit the aesthetic over here#oh well#I can draw whatever I like#right?#also people that I said I’d draw stuff for I have not forgotten that#I will stop playing around… soon#anyway I kept thinking#the rain is supposed to fall upwards#fly upwards?#yeah#so in that case would her palm be facing down… or would she not even bother to feel the rain since she’s felt it and seen it before?#would she bother looking up?#somehow I think she’d still look upwards#it seems like she’d still want to take it in#over and over again#and it’d hurt her each time#not physically like everyone else#digital art
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Northern Crater Illusion (Tifa version)
I know people's been saying something about this part in like forever especially in the OG but I finally get the courage and spite to write my own take. That's what I get staying on twitter I guess.
(You best believe I will post this there but on concentrated amount - character limit is only the blue checkmark's friend on that island.)
Most specifically I want to have a closer look on how Sephiroth pulled his attack using this *truth* that he and Tifa share and how this translates to Tifa's own personal conflict with Sephiroth himself.
Yeah, got so tired in that Sephiroth hates Tifa because of her interference to his plans for Cloud and the only one who can fix him takes.
No, fam. That's what the Rebirth seem to imply to y'all but Sephiroth already hates Tifa in OG separate from Cloud. (Or does he?). Heck, him leaving his Masamune beside her father's corpse is a literal taunt daring her to go after him and use his weapon to inflict damage to his person. This is before Cloud made himself known by stabbing him due to his own grief by the way.
Even with all this, we see he doesn't really seem to care to remember the name of who killed him until Cloud had to point it out in Junon.
CLOUD had to point it out. His KILLER has to tell him his name just to make him remember.
Tifa though?
Getting talked to so intimately with faux kindness - the very same treatment he now shows Cloud in Rebirth, imagine that.
Now let's also remember that this is the OG and therefore any trappings of Rebirth's new plot doesn't exist here because this is the beginning of it all.
Anyway, I revisited this scene because of an itch urging me (it's the spite) and a thought suddenly occurred to me.
If we remove Cloud's side and trappings in that part of the illusion (basically all things Cloud) and look at this from Tifa's perspective as a standalone thing for her own character, it paints a very clear picture of Sephiroth attacking her.
People always miss this because Cloud once again overshadowed Tifa's own trauma and unresolved conflict with Sephiroth as the one more openly attacked in this scene.
Let's look at Sephiroth's lines:
The lie has been set. Obviously Tifa won't let this unanswered if she could help it. So this is her response:
With Sephiroth's response to this being the first images I posted above.
It's been made clear how extremely pressured Tifa was at this scene especially when Cloud reveals he hinges all his faith in her while suffering her own trauma again AND attacked by their enemy.
It wasn't just Cloud Sephiroth gaslighted in this scene.
That's what this part is trying to show us and regardless of who gets attacked here the outcome is the same: Cloud is just an illusion created by Jenova using memories of people, most especially Tifa.
Sephiroth doesn't hide his attacks to her at all and it astounds me how everyone who played this game back then believed only Cloud was dealt a great mental blow. (Most of y'all are kiddies I guess that also tracks.)
Tifa actually had it much worse!
She was so overwhelmed from it all she accidentally made the wrong move of answering Cloud in the negative:
When I said she's under tremendous pressure it isn't just because of reliving her trauma and carrying the burden of Cloud's mental state alongside her own increasingly damaged psych.
It is the fact that Cloud wasn't the only one relying on her affirmation - or lack thereof - to validate which one was speaking the "truth". Sephiroth was also using her to confirm his claims and he knew very well he's got the upper hand to the "truth" she has known, all the while gaslighting her that it IS the only truth. There's even a picture to prove it!
This is not the picture but this is also that picture.
Of course, Sephiroth made sure to include her into the story. She's not part of it simply because she was there but because according to his statement..... her memories are part of Jenova's knowledge used to make *Cloud* - the failed clone.
The Cloud who by Seph's own words is just a construct of Hojo after Nibelheim's burning. A clean slate born from collective memories thanks to Jenova.
The sheer implications behind these statements are our clue to the underlying conflict that exist between Tifa and Sephiroth outside of Cloud. That the hatred is not a one-sided thing, and just because it isn't readily understood why it exist doesn't mean it isn't present.
Sephiroth drives the knife further to twist the mental wounds even more. Tifa being the one to carry the most burden of all:
Now here's a pretty interesting thought: a girl who is just plain ordinary is important enough to have Jenova's effort in molding a clone after her own desires - her childhood friend. Sephiroth is basically admitting he's got one special clone just for her. (He even gave her one in Remake but that's a slightly different story).
Ignoring the fact that Cloud is not a construct it still makes you wonder: why use her for that lie? Why her in particular?
(We are using Tifa as our center focus for this so I'm going to exclude the "she's Cloud's childhood friend reasoning. This is not about him.)
Then it can be answered if you look at it as his own way of tormenting Tifa - using a clone imbued with her memories.
A mutual on twit said that maybe because she's the one who the group trusts the most, however more than half the party wasn't there yet when *Cloud* (who Sephiroth consistently claims is just his clone) appears in front of her on that bench.
AVALANCHE as it was at that point doesn't have anyone else with a connection to Cloud.
So it goes to show she is the target of said clone's manifestation.
That is, if we believe the lie Sephiroth weaved and take it as he said it at face value, which definitely is what his claim would be to Tifa who can't refute it, especially because apparently *Cloud* really did show signs of "clone behavior" when they first met but the tech limit back then doesn't show us how it should be like to its fullest extent.
(As someone points out here: https://www.google.com/amp/s/hartofhearts.tumblr.com/post/665525778591694848/the-implications-of-tifas-familiarity-with-marco/amp) My phone isn't cooperating 😭
How could she when his "truth" matches exactly everything she knew five years ago? How could she say he's wrong when Cloud's behavior was suspect when they met for the first time in years after Nibelheim (and for her part after he left for SOLDIER)?
She tried refuting but it's clear she has her own doubts about him as well, as she couldn't continuously defend Cloud from Sephiroth's persistent claim about his current identity.
By gaslighting Cloud he doesn't exist, he also gaslights Tifa into thinking her real childhood friend is gone and it's all just in her head now.
Sephiroth KNEW so well she wanted to see Cloud five years ago but didn't see him and use that to his own advantage. It's why this is so effective a gaslight to both.
As far as Tifa knew, the last time she saw Cloud was when he left to join Soldier. This Cloud's fate is unknown to her, maybe he died or maybe he forgot about her and all such insecurities Sephiroth could use with that solidify his claims that he was all " Aw, poor Tifa. Waiting for someone who never came. Here, Jenova's made you a clone with your memories of that boy to play with you."
That's what it looks like if we only see this scene through Tifa's eyes.
Again, taunting her in the same vein as when he first did leaving Masamune besides her father's body.
Why would he do so if Tifa didn't caught his attention in the first place?
Sephiroth is clearly playing around with her and toys with her emotions just as clearly as he attacked Cloud.
He just couldn't break her like he could him no matter how hard he tried because Tifa's mental fortitude is so strong.
#tifa lockhart#sephiroth#ff7#cloud strife#writing this post made me realize something about sephiroth and how he views tifa in og#and it somehow pulled me even further into the ship#doesn't help that it fits so well with his actions to her in og#sephti
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i’ve been playing miitopia recently with the scrybes as my characters and it’s been SO MUCH FUN, could not recommend it more
#they fit into the world very well surprisingly#p03 is a thief i gave him a knife#grimora was a cleric but i made her an imp when i could#leshy is a warrior rn but i’m gonna make him an elf when i can because. woodlandy#mag is a mage. booooo#i added some of the other characters to it as well!#and somehow lonely wizard is so much stronger than magnificus it’s so funny#inscryption#p03#inscryption p03#magnificus#inscryption magnificus#grimora#inscryption grimora#leshy#inscryption leshy#miitopia au#my art
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#ya know.#after having spent about a month and a half in são paulo with my grandparents i can now confidently say that im ready to go home#and thats not brasil's fault at all and is instead a reflection of who my grandfather is as a person#i love him. i love both my grandparents. but with my grandmother at the stage of alzheimer's shes in he just doesnt have patience#to help her the way she needs. and hes been very very happy to put all of that onto me. EYE give her all her medication.#EYE make sure she bathes. EYE make sure she eats. EYE make sure she stays hydrated (somehow the hardest part of it all)#and theres been multiple times. including about an hour ago. where she says something to piss him off and send him into a shouting fit#and its just so beyond counterintuitive and unhelpful. like shouting and bitching and whining isnt helping anyone#and im ready to pass this responsibility to my aunt after being put into a situation no one warned me about#i was never told my grandmother had deteriorated to this degree. i was never told my grandfather's temper was getting worse.#i was just. never told. and while ive had an incredible time meeting family and seeing things ive never seen before#and enjoying what is the last time i will ever get to do something like this with my grandparents#im also really happy to go home next week. im going to miss brasil so much and ive enjoyed every second ive been here#but im ready to not be the mediator anymore. im ready to have a room to myself again. to not sleep in a cot thats literally (LITERALLY)#1 foot away from my grandparents' in this itsy bitsy hotel room#im ready to not be the sole person shouldering all this responsibility. a responsibility i wasnt warned about in advance#and i hope my father can bring me back to brasil next spring like he says he will so i can see rio. god i HOPE.#anyway. the weather is gray and gloomy today and im feeling a bit maudlin about it all#i hope everyone is well and i miss you all. im sorry for not answering the messages i have. things havent exactly been the easiest lately.#i love you all ♥️ and happy sunday#personal
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i also think the reason courtney’s arc always gravitates around teams and family and community themes is because stargirl is by nature a social creature; stargirl is created out of courtney’s yearning for community and understanding—something she feels she left in california, something she feels she (courtney whitmore) can’t have anymore, but an alternate version of her (stargirl) might be allowed to. and it’s kind of sad actually because if they’re not shoe-horning her into some romantic relationship, her emotional development over any given arc always follows this pattern where courtney (as courtney) feels like she can’t rely on anybody and everybody relies on her (as stargirl) and always ends with her learning to rely on someone but this narrative cycle also never ends. it repeats forever and ever. this is the only emotional plot they write for her (outside of giving her a love interest, which i could argue is just the same thing in a different font but w/e)
i don’t know when this post got so negatively charged actually i apologize i think it’s fascinating how stargirl is inherently a social creature because she was born of courtney’s need for community but i am also tired of seeing her go through the same emotional developments run after run because there are so many interesting narratives and developments that could be done with her and it feels like every issue and run just goes through the same motions. which yes. that is in fact just what comics are like i suppose. still i’d like to see something new and interesting with her. i think it’s possible that because of her genesis and the inspiration for her as a character there’s a sort of fear to take any risks with her, resulting in this endless loop of same-shoe-different-foot stories
moreover on the relationships arc point i do think it’s interesting how her love interests always fall for stargirl first, and it reinforces this ‘stargirl gets what courtney can’t have’ theme; mainly interesting because courtney sees herself as so enmeshed with stargirl that it’s rarely introspected on in any meaningful capacity and yet it’s so blatantly prevalent throughout her narrative. not to tie it all together in a neat little bow but it’s also because she’s rarely given room to be introspective; between the fear of tarnishing the memory of a real life woman and the inherently socially hungry creature that is stargirl, her arcs and narratives are almost bound to fall into the trap of being more about stargirl’s companions and the people she rescues rather than focusing on developing or even embellishing her as a character in her own right at all
#eleanor.txt#courtney whitmore#she’s becoming this. amorphous blob#she’s like the idea of courtney whitmore. lacroix stargirl#the shadow of a shadow of a shadow of herself#i don’t know. i think i miss stars and stripe courtney a little bit#i’ve been reading tlc and it’s just. man. i don’t know i enjoy it while i’m reading it#but then i Think about it. and. well#i have a whole tlc review post (finished it while drafting this post) and it’s. i’ll let it speak for itself if it ever gets out#i don’t know if i’ll let it see the light of day#idk where to fit this in but i do acknowledge that the whole love interest falls for stargirl thing doesn’t apply to the show#which IS interesting there’s something to be said abt that#and if i watched all of the show. i would have something interesting to say about it. but i didn’t#i will one day. i promise#it’s also strange bc. she has the same writer. so it really shouldn’t feel like such a drastic change from her original s&s run#but somehow. they manage!#take this whole post w a grain of salt there’s at least one exception to every point i make. i’m talking in a general sense
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(looking at inanimate insanity under a microscope) hmmmm i know there's a moral orel au in here somewhere......
#melonposting#sorry i've been watching a lot of moral orel lately </3 so sue me#anyway there are characters that fit general themes/roles well. like cobs and mephone as arthur and clay#but i think it's more fun to think of personality and general ability to potentially fit a role#like orel. someone naive and chipper. a people-pleasing goody-two-shoes who gets into trouble#my first instinct is clover. and i know it's because i love her!!!!#but the two have a thru-line of wanting to do good but somehow along the way hurting people. and it's debatably their fault#and of course they have really similar personalities#not sure who else could fit the role honestly#but stephanie. hooooo boy who gets to be stephanie? :)#someone kind and wise and rational. sincere. had a hard time and doesn't want the same to happen to those she cares about#and of course being butch-adjacent would be nice too#...um???? i don't know lol#maybe cabby? but cabby's too neurotic i think. and too nerdy. though there are similarities#i'm open to suggestions :thumbsup: ya
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......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier
#IM KIDDING ALKJNFGADFBG IM SORRY MARK BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO NAMED THIS PLAYLISTTTTTT#actually you know what on the slim to none chance i submit this at Just the right time and it gets a bunch of notes#and he somehow does actually see this post#(hi sappy/backstory tm incoming feel free to continue scrolling lmao>>)#mark you helped my mom so much#she was sick for 5 years and in that time as she got weaker and more tired what she had an abundance of was Time#and as someone who since losing her has now also become extremely depressed i underrstand Even More how horrible that kind of Time can be#to have and go through and be frustrated and devastated and bored out of your mind#but some of my friends started me in watching your videos#and she was my best friend#i shared everything with her#so of course i shared your videos too#and we would watch a lot of them together but you also have so many on your channel from so far back in addition to the new ones#that she had plenty to go back through and watch on her own while i was at school#we always felt like your humor and mentality fit right in with the rest of the household like you were a longtime friend#or neighbor from just down the road who we spoke with regularly or smth idk it was just so easy for your videos to be engaging and upliftin#she could have a playlist on to fall asleep to and be distracted from everything coming up...and that means more#than i could ever begin to thank you for#i think fnaf had been one of the things id been introduced to you through..and then tiny box tim we loved tiny box tim#back when you were first getting into making shorts and improving equipment/editing quality i always thought it would be so cool#if we somehow ran into one another on the street somewhere and i could offer to help#because i was watching those videos too! i want to make them as cool as possible and im going to school for it i know tips and tricks#and by now im sure youve probably surpassed what i know haha the INSANELY awesome and frankly gorgeous cinematography and impressive#but anyway... i know she had those videos to fill the Time when i was at school#and sometimes when i wasnt but when i was too exhausted#and i know you made her laugh and smile through it all#and that means everythingto me#ok well thhat got sappy fast sorry everyone christ#ive thought so many times over the years about trying to write something in the comments on a video or send an email or something and like#i feel bad same time cos i know soooo many people have similar stories or treat youtubers/celebrities like theyre actual saviors and angels
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the results of that "is fanfic a book" poll have shown me one thing and its that this site never graduated past that absolutely insufferable phase in 2013 where everyone acted like every book is the single most sacred thing on earth
#sorry rant incoming. you know like the people who got way too offended over dog earing or carving books for art or things like that?#that's what the notes section of that poll feel like. just way too many people (on both sides) putting way too much importance on Books.#like first you have the 'um ive read fanfic that was deep and beautiful and thematic so yes all fanfic is books' votes#which like. ok. ive also read really deep thematic screenplays but that doesnt make it a book its simply not. what a book is#then you have the honestly even worse 'um your reylo au isn't like the works of the masters its not REAL BOOKS' crowd#which like. yeah most actual published books are not as good as the 'works of the masters' whatever that means. so you have proven nothing#which brings us back to the absolute worst of all 'colleen hoover & co aren't books either' SOMEHOW#like. ok well i think her work is pretty bad but it was literally edited and published into literal books so#if you're going to decide that you get to be the arbiter of what books are Good Enough to count as Real Books well you've lost already.#because no that's not how any of this works. youre fighting one of the most famous Losing Battles in all of art discourse.#a book is just. a format that writing can be in its not some holy status you have to work to acheive#and to try and turn it into that is really stupid and self important i think because like again#who gets to decide what books are Real? what motivates them to make that choice? what biases are benefited from that?#i think its worth noting in conversations like this everyone wants to deny female romance authors the title of Real Book#(which yes a lot of those books are very shallow or badly written. many have outright offensive tropes)#but nobody mentions the equally shallow and offensive stuff by/for men. like william johnstone's shitty cowboy books for example.#no matter how you try to frame it youre going to lose the second you decide something has to fit your standards to be real art.#avpost#its very reminiscent for me of the conversation around modern art where people just want to say they know what is and isn't real art#based on like whatever standards they want. 'ugh its just dots it's not real art'. do u see where im coming from.#a book is just. a piece of writing that was edited and published in the form of a physical book. that's it. its a v literal if vague noun.#it can be something with a lot of depth and meaning. it can be shallow and hacky. it can be nonfiction entirely. its not a value statement#which can also be said about art as a whole some of it is very shallow and bad. some of it is extremely skilled and profound#anyway. no fanfic isn't inherently books but some fanfics have undergone editing & publishing and became books i think#and that doesnt mean that they're 'as good as' the classics by really skilled writers. but theyre still books#tbh a lot of the published fanfic books are worse than most nonbook fanfic. them being books isnt a statement of being more valuable.#its just a literal fact.#i think its interesting to discuss but i swear its not a huge deal whether fanfic is books the bigger deal to me is#the weird attitude popping up on both sides. which i think most people would also find stupid if their brains hadnt been like#totally ruined by an uninterrupted 5 years of insufferable-on-all-sides fanfic discourse that has ruled this website.
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my tomshiv x mitski thesis is as follows: shiv about tom is Goodbye my danish sweetheart, tom about shiv is I want you, and they are both Me and my husband about each other
#tomshiv#succession#shiv is actually in love with tom but cant handle it about herself truther.#exhibit a bitey. exhibit b her trying to repair them somehow in the last ep after the balcony fight#i dont like you (lying) i dont care (extreme lying)#her actual true emotions if she could express them would basically be#THERES NOBODY BETTER THAN YOU IT TOOK ME A WHILE TILL I KNEW BUT YOU KNEW FROM THE START IT WAS US DIDNT YOU#SO I DONT BLAME YOU IF YOU WANT TO BURY ME IN YOUR MEMORY IM NOT THE GIRL I OUGHT TO BE#verbatim#as for tom:#’i want you / i hold one card / that i cant use / but i want you��#and ’i found you / i found the door / but when i stepped through / there was no floor’ regarding the cheating#being revealed on their wedding night#and as for me and my husband. i love that song i do try to fit it into every unhealthy relationship dynamic im obsessed with#but i think it works so well for both of them i think they both feel overlooked and irrelevant#shiv because of her gender within her family and tom because he is an outsider in the family and bc of his class#and they found some kind of ally in each other and they both stepped all over each other trying to get to the top#trying to be logans favorite#but in some way they both felt seen by the other one#when he walks in i am loved i am loved#also the inescapability of it all the divorce that never seems to take hold#’so i bet all i have on that furrowed brow and at least in this lifetime we’re sticking together’#god
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I wonder what ani and padmé would have been like as parents to Luke and Leia, and later grandparents to Ben. Like I don't have any great developed thoughts on that whole au concept I just do love the thought. Ben has so much impressive family, and a lot of uncles and aunts to look up to. If a lot of things had gone a lot differently, idk how, and padmé and ani got to grow older and stronger together, if Ben were to have his grandfather not only as a legend but as a person to hold him and tell him stories, I wonder what that would have been like.
#what if ben wants really badly to be a knight like his uncle is when hes young bc girls are gross or whatever and hes shy and awkward#so hes pretty sure hes never gonna be with anyone anyway#and then when hes almost 30 he meets rey and he has his oh moment#padmé was quite a bit older than anakin so it looks like ben will be more like his grandmother than he realized#rey actually is a nobody from nowhere bc duh#but despite her lack of etiquette training or politicking she fits in with princess leia like SO well and the fam loves her#especially when they start noticing the changes in ben... cripplingly shy and quiet ben is trying to woo rey and failing adorably#or so it seems. mostly because he doesnt come out and speak his intentions.. sure that a girl like her wouldnt actually want him#never mind that theyre dyads and they share a mind connection. he somehow finds a way to misinterpret her emotional responses#mostly because he has no measure for these things in his own life#but also.. neither does rey. and a lot of new stuff is happening in her life including suddenly having the force and a forcebond#with a prince of the galaxy of all people !! shes got some major imposter syndrome going on#oh maybe its also implied that she will be bens queen because of the forcebond from the time they find out so its SORT OF an arranged#marriage?? and she obviously senses his anxiety and trepidation and he clearly is willing to go through with it.. even trying to court her#but she thinks its better if they dont try bc the force may be saying they have to be together but she believes in making her own choices#and she actually thinks bens a nice guy and a good friend to have. but obviously she says this to him trying to make things better#tells him they should just be friends. she likes him and his family and is so grateful they accepted her but they should get to choose#so ben takes this with grace (lol) and he does agree to be her friend because its better than nothing right and everything about her is just#so captivating to him that he cant help but friendzone himself. but on the way to strengthening their bond and training together they grow#closer and the tension between them coils tightly. so rey TOLD ben they should have a choice and she doesn't want to go back on that#theyre still arranged to be married or perhaps they already are married but living separately. but still she doesnt want to make him think#shes fickle or ruin their friendship because she cant control herself. shes clearly confusing her feelings for his too (shes not)#and ben is majorly confused when he realizes that the affection he feels is returned at long last he doesnt know if he should confront her#or if he should be subtle about it. courting didnt seem to work last time but things are different now. he brings her gifts theres nothing#wrong with that. so he's picked up on gift giving but more personalized? and hes taking her on trips bc she wants to see different worlds#he already reads books about topics that interest her but now he gifts them to her or talks about those topics#and shes so determined to keep it to herself he realizes that he kisses her!! he feels so confident and assured in that moment. he knowswhat#he feels and he knows what she feels. theres no need to hold back any longer. he doesn't want to. ben takes her hand and goes before his#grandparents to ask for their blessing for marriage. everyone is pleased to finally be able to speak freely of them. ben and rey and both#overjoyed. theirs is the biggest most extravagant wedding in the galaxy. moreso than han and leias. everything is perfect
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said a prayer for Jjong today.
#shinee#jonghyun#idk i don't usually yk. do things like that for people that have passed but it's been six years and it felt fitting somehow#six years ago i was what. 12 about to turn 13???? had already been to a fair bit of funerals but the only ones that had hit me before#this one were the pianist at our church who passed away suddenly from a heart attack and the regional club leader who had cancer#for like three years and passed just as the doctors thought she would go into remission#and those both happened around October/November so. going into the winter season has always been hard for me and Jjong#was no different.#it's gotten better slowly but it still hurts sometimes. some days i wake up and i can't even look at any of his pictures other days#i get up and put his albums on loop and laugh and reblog so many of his antics#it's funny bc when my aunt passed on New Year's in 2019 it was exactly two weeks after the 1st anniversary date rolled around. always has#been but i never noticed until we lost her and we had to go down for the funeral and i basically disappeared off the internet for a good#two to four months sans queue and checking in on Discord and sh*t and that year he managed to keep me sane. sounds f*cked up#but that year it was just me and Spotify and my playlists and Jjong's voice amid it all. i wish i could meet him and tell him in person#that he practically saved my life even tho the fandom was still raw af from losing him but the prayer will have to be enough#you did well Jjong. you worked so hard. you are our pride. love you to the moon and back 🌒🌙 <333
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【直接的性格】 BLUNTNESS AND DIRECTNESS
kiyoko is one of the more blunt characters in haikyuu , evident by the way she refuses second-year tanaka’s proposal , humbles the third years during their shrine visit by informing them that a prayer to the gods won’t grant them a victory at nationals , explains to sugawara that she has no intentions of marrying him when she tries to steady his hands with her own , and constantly rebukes tanaka and nishinoya’s outlandish requests to be spanked/scolded.
this blunt character is unique , not only as a character trope , but also in cultural context. directness is viewed as a negative attribute in japan since it can be conceived as abrasive and self-centered—— and it’s especially considered a negative trait for women. in a lot of ways , japan is still conservative about femininity , and women’s behavior is certainly not exempt from scrutiny. most women in media and in trends exemplify youthful cute charms ( girlish femininity , innocence , kindness , etc. ).
it is rarer to see mature and “sexy” styles , especially those that also involve blunt and direct personality types. part of the reason that kiyoko isn’t criticized for being blunt is because she’s attractive and able to suit this style. other haikyuu characters who go against the natural grain like ushijima and tendou don’t have the same sort of social “clout” that a beautiful high school girl does , so their directness is considered a fault. tendou isn’t conventionally attractive and he’s a bit of an otaku nerd ( which isn’t a problem in today’s high schools , but in a private high school 10 years ago could easily have been an isolating factor ) , and ushijima is attractive but a jock-type who doesn’t have the same social fluency as other students ( since he focuses mostly on volleyball and might produce very one-note conversations ). kiyoko may be blunt , but comparatively she doesn’t have anything that ostracizes her from fitting in. she simply chooses not to engage with people at times.
of course , if she weren’t attractive , her bluntness would be considered a fault. it’s simply because she was lucky enough to be beautiful that her direct personality isn’t considered “abrasive.” instead , it lends her character to the onee-san trope ( a mature , no-nonsense , cold woman type ). being beautiful and blunt effectively elevates a woman to some goddess-like level. it may be because onee-san types are somewhat “rarer” to find—— not only is beauty “rare,” but a woman who isn’t the average girly/cutesy type is also “rare.”
however , i think it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that kiyoko isn’t completely cold-blooded and unfeeling. her behavior with the team may make her an onee-san type , but with other characters and other teams , she’s not quite the same. rather than directly refusing others , she adopts a technique of disregard or avoidance. she ignores oikawa who tries to talk to her , rather than confront him—— a person she doesn’t know—— by saying she has no interest in him. she also avoids talking to the players on other teams at the training camp in tokyo who are ushering to try saying hello to her , by instead chatting with the female managers she’s more comfortable with.
when she does have to interact directly with someone , she’s polite and indirect. terushima stops her in the hallway at the spring interhigh and rather than be blunt or ignore him , she uses the typical japanese style of deflecting ( which is considered more polite ) and explains that she has people waiting for her. in japan , people understand an excuse like this to mean that she’s not interested and to signal that she’d like to break away.
also , the way that she interacts with yachi and the other female managers completely contradicts the notion that she’s cold and blunt. tanaka and nishinoya even ogle that she’s chatting a lot , smiling , and having lots of “girl talk” with the other managers , which means that she’s not the sort of solitary person who blocks everyone out.
at face value , an outsider would see kiyoko’s behavior of being quiet , enjoying time to herself , and avoiding/ignoring interactions with people she doesn’t know as being very onee-san-esque. it’s easy to label her as an onee-san because of her outwardly expressed behaviors , in conjunction with the fact that she also doesn’t fit neatly into the cutesy girly trope. from my experience , most japanese women are sorted into these two categories ( the third might be somewhere in the middle , like the “girl next door” type , though that tends to lean youthful and girly too ). but this trope is , of course , just a shallow label and doesn’t hold any weight when considering the spectrum of kiyoko’s social styles. it may just be because most people don’t end up talking to her that they view her this way.
in my portrayal i try to emphasize depth in her personality—— her humor , her tendency to take care of others without being asked , and her thoughtfulness that may not fully manifest as words or actions beyond simply her own ideas. i do think that she’s more blunt and direct than most people. i think she’s not afraid to speak her mind , and to do so concisely—— which isn’t common in japan. i think it makes her a unique character when compared with others in the series. however , i don’t think it’s the one and only aspect of her personality , nor do i think it should be emphasized as the encapsulation of her personality. it’s just one element , and clearly one that she disproves by her proclivity for disregard and avoidance , and her ability to have friendly , sensitive , and supportive conversations with other characters.
#headcanon tag tba.#anyways i just think the onee-san trope is really interesting#because from my experience like 90% of the japanese women i meet are all very cutesy girly and feminine#(obviously from a western perspective theyre much more feminine than me or american women)#so i'm often called an onee-san bc i'm not 'cute' .... like i'm very ambitious and focused and my coworkers have said its very 'sexy'#and i think a lot of people think onee-sans are very refreshing because they're not the trendy norm in terms of style or attitude#but like all tropes saying kiyoko is onee-san type is very shallow because she's actually quite normal and she can have warm conversations#she's a normal high school girl it's just that she doesn't really fit in the cutesy trope box that well and her attitude is more...#'i enjoy being alone too' and 'i'm focused and serious about things that matter to me' and 'i don't always care to humor weird requests'#so on the outside that would make her seem like an onee-san type. and for a lot of people that means she's EXTRA beautiful#i dont wanna unpack het mens psychology and why onee-sans are so attractive but honestly#i think kiyoko gets more attention than a cutesy beautiful girl would... even though theyre both beautiful#her personality SOMEHOW makes her more attractive and i can only think its because its not really common here#and it definitely makes women seem untouchable and elevated to be a bit colder and mature-like#one of my coworkers is quite beautiful and serious about her work... and our other coworkers are in awe of here#her*#even though there are other teachers who are equally as attractive but not as diligent; and some who are diligent but not beautiful#it's really interesting jgksj anyways#i do want to explore more... nonblunt kiyoko stuff.... kiyoko with friends being warm
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