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tortillamastersblog · 2 days ago

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Back To You - Part 7 | Sam Carpenter

Pairing: Sam Carpenter x reader

Warnings: mentions of violence, death, blood, injuries, and swearing

Summary: When Sam left after turning eighteen, you were devastated. You’d been in love with her since you were kids and her leaving meant you never got to tell her how you truly felt.

Fast forward a couple of years, Tara gets attacked and Sam returns. . .

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“Y/N?”

“Yeah, Sprout?” I say, looking up from my computer.

“What are we having for dinner?” Tara asks. She limps around the back of the couch with her crutches before leaning them against the coffee table and plopping down next to me.

“I don’t know,” I say with a shrug. “Thai food?”

She nods and rests her head on my shoulder, letting her eyes skim over the finance essay I’ve been working on. Because Christina Carpenter is still in London Tara’s staying with me until she comes back. At first she said it was to keep me company, but I know she’s just too scared to stay home alone since the last time she was alone she was attacked.

“Okay then, I’ll order something. Is there anything particular you want?” I ask, closing my laptop and pulling out my phone.

Tara shakes her head and grabs the remote next to me, turning on the TV.

“Alright.” I scroll through the options and choose two similar dishes and a side of spring rolls. I go to pay and order, but Tara stops me, turning down the volume of the TV and lifting her head off my shoulder.

“Wait.”

“What? Do you want something else after all? Pizza? Or sushi?”

“No, but you should order some Pad Thai,” she says, shifting nervously.

I chuckle softly, her sudden change in behavior going completely unnoticed. “You just said you didn’t care what I got you.”

I go to change her order, but she stops me by taking my phone away.

“It’s not for me,” she clarifies quietly which makes me raise my eyebrows and look at her expectantly. “It’s for Sam.”

I frown. “Sam? But she’s in Modesto?”

After giving our statements to the police and getting checked out at the hospital, Sam left immediately to pack up her life in Modesto. She promised Tara she’d return to Woodsboro for good as soon as she’d taken care of everything and I thought it would take her more than just three days to get everything in order since that’s how long she’s been gone for now, but apparently not.

“No, she called earlier while you were in the shower and said she was on her way back,” Tara clarifies, watching me nervously and waiting for my reaction.

“O-Okay,” I stammer. “So, you told her she could stop by for dinner?“

Sam and I haven’t talked about anything that happened yet. Not about Ghostface, her psychosis, or my feelings for her which Richie so graciously revealed to her, and not necessary just because we haven’t had the time to yet. No, I’m just not ready for it, but it seems like Tara thinks otherwise. Or she just doesn’t care, either way, Sam is on her way here now and a talk will be inevitable.

“Yes. . .” she says, hesitating slightly before going on. “And I may or may not have told her she could also stay with us until mom gets back.”

“What?!” I shriek, my eyes widening.

Tara shrinks in on herself, nodding, and to make matters even worse she adds, “And I also kind of told her it was your idea because she said she wouldn’t come if you didn’t want her to.“

My jaw drops and I blink in surprise, completely taken aback.

“So, just a heads up when she thanks you for inviting her, I guess,” she squeaks out, smiling sheepishly.

“Oh my God, Tara—“ I run my hand down my face and groan, “—I don’t even— Why would you—?”

“I didn’t want her to be alone,” she’s quick to defend herself. “She said she would just stay at a motel until she finds an apartment, or mom gets back and allows her to stay with us again, but I couldn’t just let her do that. After everything that’s happened she—“

“I get it.” I cut her off and drop my hand in my lap.

Of course I don’t want Sam to be alone. Not after everything that’s happened. She needs someone, she needs Tara, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m nervous to face her and that I’m upset Tara went behind my back.

“So, she can stay for a while?” she asks hesitantly which makes me sigh and nod.

“Yes, she can stay, but don’t ever pull something like that again. I mean, I love you, Sprout, but that’s just— No.”

Tara’s shoulders sag with relief and she nods adamantly. “I won’t, I promise. I wasn’t thinking when I did it. I just didn’t want her to be alone and since I’m staying with you, I figured it would be fine if she just stayed with us, too. I mean, you are best friends. . .“

“Were,” I correct, but it doesn’t faze her. She just hands me my phone back and I, now resigned to the idea, wordlessly add the Pad Thai to our order before finally paying for it and ordering it. “So, when is she going to be here?”

Tara checks her own phone for the time. “She said she’d be here in an hour fourty five minutes ago, so in about fifteen minutes.”

Fifteen minutes. Wow, okay. This is really happening. First I don’t see her for five years, and now she’s going to be living with me.

Luckily I have a guest room she can use since Paige and Liam stay over all the time, but we’ll still be seeing a lot of each other and I don’t know how to act around her now that Ghostface is gone.

“Okay.” I take my laptop off my lap and put it on the coffee table. “I’ll get the guest room ready then.”

The first night Tara stayed with me, she slept in the guest room, but then she had a nightmare and crawled into my bed which is where she’s been sleeping with me ever since, so I’ll have to change the sheets before Sam gets here.

I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sleeping in a bed Tara’s already slept in, but Tara was sweating quite a lot when I found her screaming and shaking in her sleep, so I’ll just go ahead and change them real quick.

“I’ll help,” Tara is quick to offer, but in the end I do all the work since she can’t stay on her feet for long without her crutches.

It is a little difficult to get everything done with only one arm, but in the end, I manage just fine and not even a minute after I’m done the doorbell rings.

“That’s Sam,” Tara says, limping out of the room. I follow her nervously, but keep my distance when she greets Sam at the front door.

The two of them share a sweet hug and exchange some mumbled pleasantries before Tara invites Sam into the apartment.

The older Carpenter sister looks around curiously and sets her bag down to take off her shoes and jacket, her eyes landing on me as soon as Tara steps out of the way.

“Hey,” she says, straightening up and tucking her hair behind her ears.

I awkwardly lift my free hand in greeting. “Hi.”

“Thanks for letting me stay with you for a couple of days,” she says, smiling a thin-lipped smile.

Tara watches us curiously, waiting for my reaction.

I don’t want to make this any weirder than it already is, so I just nod and say, “You’re welcome. The guest room is all the way down the hall to the right.“

“Thank you.” She picks up her bag again and steps further into the apartment. Her movements are uncertain and I can tell she doesn’t really know how to act, so I say, “Why don’t you go put your stuff away and freshen up a little. We’ve got Thai food on the way and Tara’s already picked out a movie.”

“Yeah, okay.” She looks like she wants to hug me, she even steps a little closer, but then she thinks better of it and turns on her heels, heading to the guest room.

I let out a shaky breath as soon as she’s out of sight and head to the kitchen, Tara following me on her crutches.

“So, what was all that about?” she asks, leaning against the counter when I pull a bottle of water out of the fridge. “I mean, I know Sam was gone for five years, but the two of you weren’t acting this weird around each other three days ago. Did something happen?”

What didn’t happen? We almost died several times, I found out she was seeing visions of Billy, and after all this time, she now knows how I feel about her and she has yet to say something about it.

I have no clue how she feels about it. Does it bother her? Does it make her uncomfortable? Is that why she hasn’t talked about it yet? No, she can’t be, if she were she wouldn’t have agreed to come here, right?

“It’s. . . nothing,” I say, opening the bottle and taking a sip.

Tara raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it, but she doesn’t push it which I’m grateful for because Sam enters the kitchen a moment later.

That was fast. . .

She’s changed out of her jeans into some sweatpants and has tied her hair into a low ponytail.

“Did you get everything sorted out in Modesto?” Tara asks and Sam nods, accepting a new bottle of water when I hand it to her.

“Quitting my job was easy and it didn’t take long to convince my landlord to let me move out before my lease ended,” she explains, slowly but surely getting more comfortable in my space. Her brown eyes take in her surroundings and when she spots an old picture of Tara, herself, and me on the fridge her face softens and her eyes find me.

She once again has an unreadable expression on her face, but before I can dwell on it, the doorbell rings.

“That’ll be our food. I’ll be right back,” I say, excusing myself and making my way out of the kitchen to the front door.

The delivery guy is around my age and he smiles when he hands me our food in a plate bag, but then his face drops and his eyes widen in realization.

“Wait, aren’t you one of the people involved in the Ghost—“

“Nope.” I hand him a five dollar bill as a tip and slam the door in his face before he can finish his sentence.

This has happened several times now. Every time I order food or go out to the convenience store around the corner, I get recognized and asked about what happened.

It’s something I could really live without because it brings back the memories of what happened, but I guess people are just curious and it’s going to take some time for them to find something new to obsess over.

Taking a deep breath, I shake my head to get rid of the memory of Richie’s lifeless body and head into the living room where Sam and Tara have already made themselves comfortable on the couch.

They’re chatting about God knows what but stop when they see me come in with the food.

“Finally!” Tara eagerly accepts her food when I hand it to her and steals one of the spring rolls before I can set them on the coffee table for everyone to share.

I smile and take a seat next to her, taking my own food out of the plastic bag before handing Sam who’s sitting on Tara’s other side her Pad Thai.

“Thank you. What do I owe you?” she asks, her eyes lighting up ever so slightly when she opens the takeout container and sees what we got her.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” I say, waiving her off, but she’s not having it.

She frowns and sets her food down in her lap. “No, please tell me. You’re already letting me stay with you for free, the least I can do is pay for my own food.”

“It’s really no problem,” I say before gesturing at Tara. “This one’s been mooching off of me for years now, so paying for one more extra meal really isn’t going to make a difference.”

It’s true. I’ve paid for a lot of Tara’s food and whatnot over the last couple of years, but it’s does matter because my parents left me quite a bit of money when they died. My mom was an investment banker and had quite a bit saved up before she passed, so that’s where most of it came from, but I also got a bunch of money when I sold our old house.

“Hey!” Tara protests around a mouth full of food and shoves me playfully, and I just shove her back and poke her cheek.

“What? You sayin’ it isn’t true?” I teased and when she doesn’t answer I just chuckle softly and turn my attention back to Sam who’s still looking a bit torn. “Really. It’s no problem. Just eat. I’m sure you’ll find some other way to make it up to me.”

Her face softens and she finally nods, her brown eyes shining with gratitude. “Okay. . . Thanks.”

I send her a tight lipped smile and focus back on my own food, giving Tara permission to finally start the movie she picked once we’ve all settled down properly.

It’s almost three in the morning and I still can’t sleep.

We went to bed a couple of hours ago, after finishing our dinner and watching another movie, but I just can’t sleep.

I kept tossing and turning in my bed—grateful that Tara decided to sleep in the guest room with Sam tonight—until I just couldn’t take it anymore.

Now I’m sitting at the kitchen island, in the dark, with a steaming cup of tea in front of me. I was hoping it would maybe help me feel a little sleepy, but so far no luck.

I’m as wide awake as ever because my mind keeps replaying what happened three days ago at Amber’s. I can still hear the gunshots, Sam’s pained whimpering, and Richie’s gurgling when he chocked on his own blood.

So many people are dead, and all because of Richie and Amber’s fucked up dream of making a new Stab movie.

Wes and his mom’s funeral is next week and I’m planning on attending it, but I don’t know how I’m going to handle it yet. It feels like it was only yesterday that I went to my parents funeral and I just know going to theirs will bring back a whole lot of memories.

After everything that’s happened I’m just glad nothing happened to Liam and Paige. The two of them are still in San Francisco, but they texted me earlier that they’d be returning some time next week.

“Can’t sleep?”

I flinch so hard, I spill some of my tea over the back of my hand, making me hiss in pain. I look over my shoulder and exhale shakily when I see Sam standing in the doorway with her arms wrapped around herself.

“Jesus, Sam,” I whisper, wiping my hand on my pajama pants. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Sorry.” She approaches slowly and hesitantly takes a seat on the high chair next to me. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay. . .” I look at her and when our eyes meet in the darkness I drop my defenses and let my shoulders relax. “Do you—Uh— Want some tea?” I ask and when she nods I get up to make her a cup.

“So. . . Can’t sleep?” she asks again when I turn on the kettle and I sigh before answering, keeping my back turned her way.

She makes me nervous, looking all calm and cozy in my space, and the fact that she’s wearing my faded high school hockey sweater is making it even worse.

Where did she even get that?

The only explanation I can come up with is that Tara gave it to her since she’s always raiding my closet for oversized stuff.

“Yeah, you know—Nightmares. . .” I say, taking out a mug and putting a tea bag in it before filling it with hot water.

“I get it. I get them, too.” Sam smiles sadly and accepts the tea with a grateful nod when I hand it to her. Our fingers brush for a second which sends sparks up my arm and I’m quick to pull away and take a seat on my chair again.

“Right.” Of course she has nightmares, too. It’d be weird if she didn’t. After all she was the one who was being manipulated and used for this whole new-stab-movie bullshit. The rest of us just got hurt.

I can feel an awkward silence settling over us, and take a sip of tea to distract myself. Sam is playing with the string of her tea bag, glancing at me every so often as if she wants to say something.

For a couple of moments, she doesn’t, seemingly scared of how I might react, but then she seems to gather enough courage. She turns in her chair to face me and buries her hands in her lap, saying, “They’re mostly about you, you know?”

I set my tea back down and turn to face her as well, frowning. “Huh?”

“The nightmares,” she clarifies, her dark eyes searching my face for any kind of reaction. “Every time I try to sleep, I see you, covered in blood and dead. Tara, too, sometimes, but it’s mostly just you.”

I raise my eyebrows, surprised, but don’t say anything because it seems like she isn’t done talking yet.

“I can’t stop thinking about the way you literally collapsed right in front of me at the hospital. There was so much blood and then at Amber’s—the blood on your face from your broken nose—I thought you’d been shot in the head for a second when I saw you lying in the living room.” Sam wipes at a stray tear without breaking eye contact. “And then you stood up to Richie for me, a-and I thought, this is it. He really is going to kill you now, but then he didn’t. He just kneed you in the stomach, but in my dreams h-he shoots you. Every. Single. Time. He shoots you right in front of me and I—“ She lets out a shaky breath, “—I just can’t bear the thought of losing you. . . Not after everything we’ve been through. Not before I can fix things between us.”

I swallow the growing lump in my throat and reach for one of her hands, taking it in mine and squeezing it gently. “You’re not going to lose me.”

She shakes her head and sniffles. “You don’t know that. Ghostface could come back, or-or you could get into another accident.”

I sigh and look away. She’s right, but the fear of what could happen shouldn’t stop us from living our lives. “I know, but the chances of either of those things happening again are slim to none, sooo you have all the time in the world to make things up to me,” I joke quietly, which makes her chuckle sadly.

I know I said I wasn’t mad anymore, but that was when I thought we were literally going to die. Now, I can’t say I’m still mad, but she does have to prove that she wants to be in my life again— that I can trust her and rely on her again.

She interlaces our fingers and lifts my hand to press a kiss to my knuckles which makes me freeze. “I will make it up to you,” she whispers, moving closer to tracing the index finger of her other hand over the bruised bridge of my broken nose and around the edges of my black eyes. Her touch is gentle and makes my skin tingle, and I instantly miss it when she lowers her hand again.

“I promise, I will make it up to you,” she says again, but this time her tone is different. There’s more conviction in her voice and she looks as serious as I’ve ever seen her. Her eyes are practically boring into mine and the intensity of it all makes me look away nervously. “Listen, about what Richie said. . .”

I tense. Oh no, here it comes. . .

Why did you never say anything? How long have you felt like this? I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel the same way about you.

I can already imagine all the things she’s going to say, but then she surprises me by going on.

“About my visions of Billy. . .” She cringes and looks away right as I look at her again. She keeps our fingers interlaced, but leans back a little as though she needs the space to think clearly.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” I reassure her, seeing that it’s making her uncomfortable, but she shakes her head and looks at me again.

“No, I really do. You invited me to stay with you, so the least I can do is tell you what you’re dealing with,” she says and it almost sounds like she’s afraid of herself.

I want to tell her that I’m not dealing with anything while she’s here, but she looks like she really wants to say her part, so I stay quiet.

“I started seeing visions of Billy after I found out he was my real father,” she whispers, her grip on my hand tightening. “And it scared me so much, but I didn’t go see a therapist until years later, after I left. . . I was prescribed some antipsychotics, and for a while they worked, and I stopped seeing him, but lately they haven’t been working anymore.”

I can’t imagine how scary that must be. My aunt— my father’s sister—was bipolar before she died of cancer a couple of years ago, so I kind of know what a struggle it can be to have mental health issues, but I can’t fathom seeing visions of my dead serial killer father.

“I don’t know how to make them stop because I’m already taking some pretty hardcore pills. It’s like— I see him in the mirror, or any other reflective surface, a-and he talks to me, like an embodiment of all my intrusive thought but I- I promise you I’d never hurt you or Tara because of him. It’s just draining and— I’m sorry. . .” Her breath hitches and she disconnects her hand from mine to press the heels of her palms against her watering eyes.

She’s shaking and crying quietly, and the sight of it breaks my heart, so I get to my feet and pull her into a hug.

“Don’t apologize,” I say softly, feeling a little of my worry fade when Sam wraps her arms around my waist to hug me back. She slides off her chair to stand as well and buries her face against the side of my neck.

“I just feel so awful, you’ve got enough to deal with, the last thing you need is me dropping all this shit on you. I have no right to just come back into your life and—“

“Nu uh,” I cut her off. “What role you play in my life is up to me to decide. We’re far from being okay, but I still care about you and I want you to know that I’m here for you, got it?”

“I can’t just—“

“Got it?” I cut her off quietly, squeezing her in my arms, or well, just arm since my right one is still in the sling.

Sam sighs, but finally caves, nodding again my neck and tightening her hold on me. “I don’t deserve you. . .”

“Maybe not yet, no, because what you did really hurt me, but I’m still here and I’m not going anywhere,” I say honestly, allowing her to pull back and look up into my eyes.

My heart flips in my chest at her intense gaze, her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth slightly parted as if she’s about to say something.

Nothing comes out however and we just stand like that for a couple of moments, staring at each other and relishing in the other’s warmth.

That is until a scream makes us pull apart. My eyes widen and for a second my heart drops, but then I relax again when I realize what’s happening.

Tara.

Sam, however, looks alarmed, her eyes wide and she goes to grab a knife from the knife block on the kitchen island.

“No, wait.” I grab her wrist mid reach and pull her with me. She looks flabbergasted, probably thinking why I’m so calm, but when we get to the guest bedroom, realization seems to dawn on her and her face softens at the sight of Tara thrashing on the bed with her eyes closed.

I let go of her wrist and quickly move to Tara’s side. “Hey, Sprout, wake up, it’s me.” I grab one of her flailing arms and shake her a little. “Wake up.”

Tara whimpers in her sleep and furrows her eyebrows, so I shake her again.

“Tara!”

That snaps her out of her dream and she shoots up, clutching at her chest with wide eyes.

“Hey, it’s me. You’re okay. It was just a dream, you’re safe.” I let go of her arm and rub my hand up and down her back as Sam cautiously approaches the bed.

She takes a seat on Tara’s other side and gently takes her bandaged hand into her own.

Tara looks between us with teary eyes and closes her eyes for a moment, catching her breath.

“It all felt so real,” she whispers.

“I know,” I say quietly, sharing a sympathetic look with Sam over her head. “But it wasn’t. You’re here and you’re okay.“

Tara sniffles and opens her eyes again. She looks at me first, then at Sam before letting out a shaky breath while nodding.

“A-Are you going to be okay?” Sam asks gently, shuffling a little closer until she’s sitting next to Tara with her back resting against the headboard.

“I—“ Tara swallows thickly,”— Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m just a little shaken, that’s all.”

Sam doesn’t look convinced, but accepts her answer and presses a kiss to the back of her head. “Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want to watch something, or do you want some tea?”

“Can you just stay?” Tara asks with pleading eyes, glancing at me before adding, “Both of you?”

I glance at Sam and when she nods faintly, I agree. “Of course. Move over.”

Tara shuffles to the middle of the bed and lifts the comforter so I can lie down next to her while Sam slips under the comforter on her other side.

Tara grabs Sam’s arm and wraps it around her stomach so she’s being held from behind before placing her head on my shoulder.

“Good?” I ask as soon as she’s settled and she nods with a content sigh.

Sam and I share another look over her head and when I see the care and gratitude in her eyes I send her a soft smile.

We’re going to be okay.

“What’s all this?” I ask the next morning, walking into the kitchen where Tara’s sitting at the kitchen island and Sam is standing over the stove.

Soft music is playing from a speaker and it smells delicious and when my eyes land on the stack of pancakes in front of Tara I know why.

“Sam is making pancakes!” Tara grins and plucks a blueberry from her plate into her mouth.

“I can see that.” I chuckle and take a seat next to Tara, smiling when Sam shyly slides a cup of coffee in front of me. “Thank you.”

“They’re chocolate chip,” Tara muses around a mouthful of food.

I raise an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“The pancakes,” she clarifies which makes my eyes snap to the stack of pancakes in front of her.

No. That can’t be. Surely Sam doesn’t remember such a trivial little—

“Your favorites.”

My eyes snap back up and I find Sam smiling hesitantly.

“At least, I hope they still are,” she adds, scratching her neck awkwardly.

Amazed, I nod dumbly which makes her perk up and finish plating the rest of the pancakes. She joins Tara and me at the kitchen island and hands me my own plate.

“Thanks,” I whisper, taking a careful bite of the pancakes and feeling my heart warm at the nostalgic feeling that washes over me. We used to make these pancakes all the time when she’d sleep over, and right now it’s the first time I’m having them since she left. I just couldn’t bring myself to make them without her.

Sam steals a couple glances every now and then while we eat and smiles when I finish my entire stack of pancakes in less than five minutes.

“Oh, by the way,” Tara says after a while, grabbing a stack of envelopes from the chair next to hers. “I got your mail out of the mailbox for you.”

I take a sip of coffee and take them from her with a hum, skimming my eyes over them, only mildly interested.

Most of them are ads or bills, but one catches my attention and I’m quick to open it and read it.

No way. . .

My eyes widen at what it says, and I re-read it a couple of times before Tara notices my stunned silence and asks what’s going on.

“A scout from a hockey team in Boston was at one of our recent games and now they want to sign with me,” I answer quietly, still in shock.

I never expected this. I want to play professionally one day, yes, but I was actually planning on finishing my degree first.

“What?” Tara grabs the letter from me and reads it as well with wide eyes before looking back up. “This is— This is great!”

I frown and take the letter back. “Yeah. . . I guess.”

It is great that they want me on their team, but I can’t just drop everything here and move all the way across the country to Boston. Not only because of my degree but also because of Tara, and now, Sam.

“You guess?” Tara pokes my arm, excited. “What do you mean? This is everything you ever wanted!”

I glance at Sam to find her already looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and wistfulness.

“Yeah, but—“

“But what?” Tara butts in, waving the letter for emphasis. “This is your chance to get out of here and finally do what you’ve always dreamed of. How can you have second thoughts about it?”

Again, I look at Sam, but she’s no longer looking at me. She’s pushing a piece of pancake around on her plate, seemingly lost in thought.

We both know that if I go to Boston it will be incredibly difficult to fix our friendship.

I just got her back. I can’t just leave now, but then again, Tara is right. I’ve always wanted to get out of here after my parents died.

“I can’t— I mean— The semester just started— A-And you. . . I can’t leave you alone,” I splutter. I’m so overwhelmed with feelings, I don’t know what to say.

On one hand, this really is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I really want to go, but on the other hand, I don’t want to leave Tara, or Sam. They need me, especially Tara, and I don’t want to leave Liam and Paige behind either.

“But I’m not alone,” Tara counters with a gentle smile and nudges Sam. “I’ve got this one back now and I’m sure you can move your classes online or something.”

“Tara—“

“She’s right.” Sam cuts in, looking up from her plate. There’s a sad smile playing on her lips, but she seems just as resolved as Tara. “You should go. This is your life we’re talking about, and it seems like it’s high time you start living it.”

My mouth snaps shut and I stare at both of them with furrowed eyebrows for a couple of moments before giving in. “Okay.”

Looks like I’ll be moving to Boston.

_______________________________________________

Hi everyone!

I know this is a bit of a filler chapter, but it had to be written to bridge the gap between the fifth and the sixth movie.

Anyway, happy holidays! ❤️

Tag list: @bella423 @artrizzler19 @btay3115 @canyonyodeler @quadofthec @pussyydestroyer @rqizzu @pithod @morganismspam23

P.S. If you like this story I highly recommend you check out @persevereforahappyending ‘s No Man’s Land. It’s a great read.

#x reader #samantha carpenter x reader #sam carpenter #sam carpenter x reader #samantha carpenter #scream #fluff

120 notes · View notes

guilty-pleasures21 · 2 days ago

Note

Great cause I've been thinking about something for days-

Jason x Reader but-

Sometimes Jason can't get home in time. It's not that he wants to take so long, but all this mess of missions and patrols and all that crap always seems to get in his way.

Still, since he loves his girl so much, Jason doesn't mind calling her just to tell her he's coming as fast as he can and ask if she's all right.

He's just in love, guys, what can he do?

By the way, he also loves to say what he's going to do with his pretty girl when he gets home as well.

- 💚

Firstly, I would like to apologise for how long this has taken: I was not ignoring you, I was just finding it really difficult to come up with enough of a storyline to write a fic out of 😅.

Secondly, I know this deviates from what you asked for, but I do hope that you still like it 🥺. I just thought it would be really funny to write Jason being all shy and flustered for a change ☺️.

NEVERTHELESS! If I have disappointed you, please don’t hesitate to drop me another message and I will do my best at another attempt! I love you, babe 🥺.

The call

Warnings: an explicit phone call and an explicit description of a handjob (m receiving).

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“Hood?” X asked, her sweet voice wafting out of his communication device and filling his ears. “Are you gonna be done soon?”

“Hmm?” Jason hummed distractedly, keeping an eye on Penguin’s goons as they moved in and out of one of his secret warehouses. “Yeah, ba-”

His eyes grew wide as he caught himself quickly: no one else in the batfamily knew that he and his best friend had started dating a while ago and the two of them had wanted to put off dealing with the chaos that would ensue once they found out for as long as they possibly could. Jason slid his gaze over to Dick, nervously gauging his reaction, then he cleared his throat when his brother seemed to take no notice. “Yeah, Nightingale. Their new shipment should be reaching here in eleven minutes. We plan on moving in then.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” X replied, her voice taking on a mischievous tone that had Jason’s core heating up with nerves. “I can’t wait for you to get home, baby. I’m gonna have you all to myself for the next week, right, Jay?”

Jason swallowed hard and stole another quick glance at Dick. No reaction. Jason exhaled in relief and let out another little cough before responding to his wicked girlfriend. “Right. This should deal a substantial blow to their operations. The others can help stage attacks on their other warehouses in the meantime.”

“Oh, is that so?” X asked, rolling over onto her stomach and getting herself comfortable on Jason’s bed. She’d always stay over at his apartment whenever he had to stay late on a mission - she didn’t like the thought of him coming home to an empty house, especially if he’d had to be physically violent with someone. She’d known about his PTSD and used to stay over at his place even before they’d started dating, comforting him when he awoke from a nightmare or coaxing him out a panic attack in the middle of the night. He’d only ever let her be privy to such vulnerable sides of him and she’d told him honestly that that was why she’d started falling in love with him. “You gonna pass the buck on to the others so you can come home and take care of your lonely little girlfriend?”

Jason’s breath caught in his throat at the pout he could hear in her voice. Was she at his place? She probably was, but … was she on his sofa? Relaxing in front of the television as she teased him? Or … was she … somewhere more … intimate? In something more intimate? Jason ground his teeth together, wrestling between the need to keep himself focused on the mission before him and the sudden desire to find out exactly what his ‘lonely little girlfriend’ was doing in his apartment right then. “Of course I’m wearing all my gear, Nightingale. Got to make sure we’re properly covered up before we bust in there and start taking everyone out.”

X bit her lip at the subtle question hidden within his words: he wanted to know what she was wearing.

“‘Properly covered up’?” she repeated, kicking her legs in the air behind her. “Mmm, that sounds … like the opposite of what I am right now, Jay; lying here on your bed, all spread out on your soft sheets as they caress my bare skin.” Her boyfriend sucked in a breath over the comms and X’s stomach flipped as she pictured the expression he was probably wearing right then: thick brows furrowed in confusion as he figured out how to respond, beautiful green eyes glazed over as he imagined her lying naked on his bed, sharp jawline tensing with frustration as he forced himself to pay attention to his mission. Shit, he was hot.

X flipped over onto her back and moaned softly as the thought of her deliciously sexy boyfriend filled her mind. “Mmm, but you know how much I love seeing you all dressed up in your Red Hood outfit. Your tight little carbon fibre suit stretched so perfectly over all your delicious muscles. Mmm, you’re so hot, Jay! I wish you were here so I could just pounce on you and trace all your sexy muscles with my tongue …”

A soft gasp escaped his lips at her dirty words and Jason swore his heart stopped when Dick turned to raise an eyebrow at him in question. Jason shook his head slightly, reassuring him that everything was fine and thankfully, Dick returned his attention to the warehouse. “Nine minutes.”

“Oooh, is that a challenge, sweetheart?” X asked, delighting in the sudden hoarseness in his voice. He was always so smooth and sexy whenever they were alone, teasing and touching and tasting every inch of her body until she was breathless with lust, unable to focus on anything but the feeling of his hands on her bare skin. But now … “There’s a reason they call it ‘seven minutes in heaven’, darling. But … I’m feeling generous tonight knowing I’m going to have you all to myself for the next week, so … I’ll finish in five … if you let me top you tonight.”

He let out a choked gasp at the image her words conjured up in his mind: him lying helplessly on his bed while she rode him into his mattress, her soft hair brushing the curves of her full breasts, her pearly teeth sinking into her lower lip in ecstasy, her perfect body sliding up and down on his cock at exactly the pace she wanted to go at. And unfortunately for him, Dick did take notice this time.

“Hood? What’s wrong?” His voice was firm as he spoke, authoritative and confident, and Jason quickly waved him away so he wouldn’t start panicking.

“Just a hiccup,” he lied. “I’m fine. Truck should be arriving in eight minutes.”

“Is Dick there?” X asked, her tone alight with mischief at the revelation that the two of them were right next to each other while she was talking dirty to him. “Has he been there the whole time?!”

“Yes,” Jason replied softly, lowering his voice so Dick wouldn’t grow even more suspicious by his continued conversation with a member of their team not currently involved in the mission at hand. Shit. He should just hang up, shouldn’t he? End the call now before he reached a point where he couldn’t physically hide the evidence of what his best friend was doing to him right then. Shit. Think gross thoughts, Jason, he counselled himself, like … bugs! Cockroaches, especially! Ugh! Nasty little things with their hairy legs and their spindly antennae and ugh, he was going to be sick. But at least he wasn’t getting aroused anymore - though the brief respite didn’t seem like it would last long anyway.

“How naughty of you, sweetheart!” X laughed, oblivious to - or most likely ignoring - her supposed-to-be-secret boyfriend’s stressful predicament right then. “Letting your girlfriend talk dirty to you with your brother standing right next to you? Mmm, I didn’t know you could be so naughty, baby.”

Jason clenched his fists and focused his thoughts on his breathing, trying to keep it deep and steady so his body wouldn’t get excited and start redirecting his blood towards his core. But he must have been a glutton for punishment because he just couldn’t bring himself to end the call.

“And- Oh my god!” X exclaimed, a realisation suddenly taking over her thoughts. “He doesn’t even know! Your brother doesn’t even know that you started dating your best friend, baby! What’s he going to think, love?! What’s he going to think when he hears your best friend saying such naughty things to you? When he hears the innocent little Nightingale saying such dirty things to her best guy friend?

“Do you think he’s going to think I’m just practising, baby?” X asked, getting more and more thrilled by the idea of Dick finding them out via such a compromising situation. She sat up on Jason’s bed, suddenly feeling extremely hot under her pyjamas, and tugged her shirt off, tossing it aside. “Do you think he’s going to think that I’m just practising having sex with you?! Letting you touch me and tease me and taste me just so I can get to know what it feels like?”

She let out a low chuckle at the thought and Jason shivered as the tantalising sound travelled teasingly down his spine. And, f*ck him, now he couldn’t get the thought of her naked body out of his mind! She was just so delicious, her plush breasts, her smooth skin, her slender neck, her pert ass, her- F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f******ck! Cockroaches! Focus on the cockroaches!

“But how could anyone else ever do it for me after you, baby?” X pressed, slipping her bottoms off and crawling under the covers. “You’re so hot, Jay! With your long fingers and your rough skin and your hard muscles and argh! Oh God, Jay, your … How are you so good with your tongue?!”

Argh, f*ck. He could feel his pants tightening around his crotch at the sound of her shallow breaths - at the indication of her touching herself while she thought about him. But shit! Did she really find him so hot that just the thought of him was enough to get her off?! F*******ck!

“Hood?!” Jason startled as Dick bumped his shoulder suddenly, snatching him out of his reverie. “Hood, they’re at the intersection of Apple and Kyle.”

“Three minutes,” Jason recited, the words coming automatically as he glanced at the countdown in the corner of his screen. His eyes flickered over to the icon of his best friend’s face, her cute little smile pointed straight at him from the upper right corner of his screen, and he swallowed hard when it lit up as she began speaking again.

“I’m … I’m coming, Jay!” she promised, her voice getting breathy and high-pitched as she approached her edge. “I’m gonna come for you, okay, baby? I’m … Just imagining … your long fingers inside of my p*ssy … your lips sucking my neck … your chest … Nngh! Bite me, Jay! Bite … Hngrh, shit! J-Jason! Jason! I love you, Jason! I … Oh God, you’re so hot! So … So deliciously hot, Jay … How the hell are you so frickin’ hot, Jason?! Mmm, shit.”

Jason panted heavily, feeling as if he’d just come down from his high as well, and studiously avoided Dick’s gaze. Thank f*cking god he had his full helmet on - he could feel the blush racing up the back of his neck and bolting across his cheeks, blatantly giving away all the naughty things his best friend had been murmuring in his ear as she’d come to the thought of him. F*******ck! He was … He was never picking up another call from her again when he was on a mission - she’d just have to ring up the watchtower if she needed any help next time. Jason reached for his watch, meaning to end the call as his countdown continued ticking down to the one minute mark now, but his girlfriend didn’t seem to be done with him just yet.

“Come back soon, okay, baby?” she pleaded, her tone relaxed now that she’d gotten some of the excitement out of her system. “It’s just not the same without you, Jay. I … I can’t make myself come the way you do!”

Jason lowered his head and sighed, feeling himself about to f*cking cry with frustration at her desperate words. Could you even cry out of of f*cking desperation?! Shit, maybe she’d broken him or something. He was going to have to get back at her for it later.

“You just know me so well, baby,” X purred, that same wicked mischief inching its way back into her voice again. “Nobody knows me better than my best friend - nobody knows how to make me come better than my best friend does, Jay. After all, you’ve been getting so much practice, right, baby?”

“Shit,” Jason hissed, his defeated exhalation finally letting her know that he’d reached his limit with her. X giggled softly, but decided to ease up on him: he still had an important mission to go on, after all, and she wanted him safe and back in his bed as quickly as possible.

“I’ll see you later, baby. Love you, Jay!”

“Ngh,” Jason grunted, relieved to have control over his own thoughts again. “We’ll talk later.” He hung up the call, then glanced over at Dick, letting him know that he was ready to go. Dick nodded and pulled his escrima sticks out of their sheaths as he got into position.

“On my count. Ready? One, two, three!”

Jason tugged the collar of his shirt, already sick of the tight suit he’d been forced into for the gala Bruce was throwing that night. It was meant to be a fundraiser for some charity, but of course the rich socialites of Gotham just saw it as an opportunity to parade around their undeserving wealth. And try to land one of the billionaire Bruce Wayne’s eligible young sons if they had the chance. Jason sighed when Clara Yang’s keen gaze landed on him, picking him out as soon as she entered the hall; not that it was difficult to pick Jason out in any room given his towering height and intimidating physical build - an intimidating physical build that did not seem to deter the young heiress in the slightest. Shit. Where was his girlfriend when he needed her?!

“Richard! Jason! How lovely to see the both of you again!” Clara greeted them cheerfully, stepping forward to place a light kiss on each of their cheeks. She tried to linger in Jason’s arms just a moment longer, but he stepped back as quickly - and obviously - as he could, firmly setting his boundaries.

“Nice to see you too, Clara,” Dick replied, always fitting so perfectly into the mould of Bruce Wayne’s perfect oldest son. “Have you tried the appetisers yet? We hired a Michelin star Italian chef to cater the event. He normally doesn’t do engagements outside of his restaurant but, well, who can say no to Bruce Wayne?”

Jason’s gut twisted with horror as Dick joined into Clara’s polite laughter. God, he thought he was going to be sick. He’d just never been able to get over the false pleasantries required of him at these events - no matter how nicely they dressed him up and smothered his personality. Clara looked to Jason expectantly, her eyes travelling appreciatively over his shoulders and chest, and Jason felt another wave of nausea pressing against his throat.

“I … It’s …” Dick glanced around the room as Jason fumbled his way through a response, searching desperately for some way to get his brother out of his current predicament. And thankfully, it was at that exact moment that X arrived. Dick gave a mental sigh of relief and quickly waved her over.

“X!” X looked up when she heard her name being called, then grinned when she saw Dick waving at her frantically. Her eyes flickered over to Jason and the young lady standing in front from him, her chestnut hair curled neatly and piled atp[ her head in an elaborate hairdo, and she chuckled when she saw the panicked expression scrawled across her best friend’s features - it looked like Clara had already begun her attack.

Jason turned to follow Dick’s gaze when he heard him yell for his best friend and his entire body relaxed when he found X’s dark eyes and easy smile already trained on him. He side-stepped Clara, intending on making a beeline straight for his life vest in the middle of this never-ending ocean of suffering, but he stopped short when he saw what she was wearing.

Her dress was off-the-shoulder, the burgundy-coloured velvet material delicately skimming the tops of her breasts before closing in around her luscious figure, hugging her beautiful curves so deliciously. A slit in one side of the dress exposed her leg to her mid-thigh, teasing him with a mouth-watering view of her tanned skin every time she took a step towards him. And she’d kept her hair down for the occasion, letting her natural dark brown curls drape elegantly over her delicate shoulders and frame her adorable little smile so perfectly. Jason opened his mouth to try greet her - to tell her how stunning she looked that night, her deep red dress highlighting all the parts of her that excited him every time his gaze landed on them - but he found himself unable to even make a sound.

Dick grinned when he saw the way his brother’s mouth kept opening and closing as his eyes roved over his best friend’s figure. Maybe tonight would finally be the night that they admitted their feelings to one another. Neither of them had ever mentioned anything about feeling more than friendship for the other person, but it was so obvious to anyone with eyes that they were deeply in love with one another - never mind that they both looked like they wanted to rip each other’s clothes off right then! Dick nudged Jason’s shoulder, silently encouraging him to speak up, but Jason continued to struggle with his words, so Dick stepped forward to initiate the conversation.

“Thank god you’re here,” Dick joked, giving X a friendly pat on the back in greeting. “Between you and me, I think Jason was just about to puke all over Clara Yang’s two-thousand dollar pair of shoes!”

“Come now, Richard, you know how gauche it is to speak of money so blatantly,” X replied, matching his quiet tone so Clara wouldn’t hear.

Dick shook his head, the wide smile still stretched across his face, and took a step back from her. “I noticed that you and Jason are matching. Whose idea was that?”

“Obviously it was Jason’s,” X teased, sliding her hands nonchalantly up his chest. Jason sucked in a breath at the feeling, his body rapidly heating up at the way she touched him so intimately, right there in front of everyone, but X continued to focus her attention on Dick. “Didn’t you know about his secret love for fashion?”

“Well, if it’s a secret, then how am I supposed to know?” Dick countered quickly. X grinned at his words and finally lifted her gaze to Jason’s. He swallowed hard when he saw the way her eyes darkened when they landed on his and his hands instinctively came around her waist, holding her loosely against him.

“X …” he began softly, his fingers cautiously inching their way along her waist. “You … You look …” She giggled softly and Jason swore his heart melted into a puddle at the sound.

“Thanks, Jay,” X whispered back, her voice just as gentle as his as she adjusted his bowtie and waistcoat. “You look really good too.”

A naughty smile took over her face as she slid her gaze over to Dick. Then she raised her voice so he’d be able to hear her next words. “Maybe even more handsome than Dick!”

“X!” Dick scoffed, clutching his chest in mock agony. “How could you say such a thing?!” X laughed, keeping her fingers curled around the lapels of Jason’s jacket so he could admire the slender length of her neck as her head fell back. Damn, she was beautiful.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding,” X corrected quickly, trying to assuage his concerns. But she leaned closer to Jason’s chest, hiding her face behind his jacket so Dick almost missed the way her expression turned even more mischievous. “He’s definitely more handsome than you tonight, Dick.”

Dick let out another offended snort, but Jason barely heard it over the sound of his heart pounding in his chest at the proximity of X to him. How could she cling on to him so casually when they were in public? When anyone might glance over and see them holding each other like … like a couple? He dug his fingers into her sides as his body heated up with excitement at the thought: there was just something so satisfying about their relationship being so right that everyone else could see it even before they officially announced it out loud. And suddenly, he decided that he didn’t want to hide it anymore - he’d talk to X once they found some time to be alone and if she agreed, they’d tell his family about their relationship tonight.

X rubbed Jason’s chest gently as she turned to Clara, completely secure in the knowledge that he eyes for her and only her - even if she wasn’t some filthy rich, well-travelled, upper-class heiress who would never have to work for anything in her life. “Don’t you agree, Clara?”

Clara’s jaw tightened as her eyes followed the intimate movements of X’s fingers across Jason’s body. But she forced her lips into a tight smile, just like she’d probably been trained to do her entire life. “Why just tonight? I think Jason is always the most handsome man in the room.”

X almost choked on her saliva at Clara’s sugary-sweet tone. But that wasn’t even the worst reaction she could have had because poor Jason actually shuffled around in position, angling her towards Clara like she was some sort of shield that could protect him from her adamant flirtations! X swallowed down her laughter, trying to dredge up some sympathy for her boyfriend, but it was just too funny to think of the six-foot-two, built-like-a-brick-wall, not-afraid-to-kill-anyone-who-tried-to-hurt-a-child Red Hood cowering before the tiny, spoiled socialite.

“I’m hungry,” Jason mumbled, tugging X in the direction of the buffet table on the opposite end of the room. “Let’s get some food, X.”

“Of course, Jay!” X agreed, flashing Clara a bright smile before running her fingers possessively through Jason’s hair. Clara clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes at her, but somehow still managed to keep that frightening smile plastered across her face. Maybe they should try recruiting her into being a vigilante too.

“You look beautiful, princess,” Jason finally worked up the nerve to tell her once they were alone. X smiled and rubbed his arm where she’d curled herself around him.

“Thanks, baby,” X replied, glowing so adorably at his praise. She really was so beautiful, so cute and pretty and all his to admire and adore. “I would kiss you, but …” She glanced around at the roomful of gossip-mongers surrounding them, then flashed him a guilty smile. Jason's stomach twisted with nerves as he remembered his decision to tell his family that night and he cleared his throat when they reached the buffet table.

“About that,” Jason began, his expression serious as he turned to X. She raised an eyebrow in question and Jason puffed out his chest as he straightened, trying to build up his confidence. “I was thinking-”

“Jason Todd!” A vaguely familiar voice called from behind him. Jason turned around and for once, he grinned at who he found.

“Mrs Vasquez?!” he exclaimed, releasing his girlfriend for a brief moment to give the elderly woman a hug. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in so long!”

X’s chest warmed at the sight of the sweet smile on her boyfriend’s face - and the reciprocating grin the kind-looking old woman wore as she returned his hug.

“Indeed!” Mrs Vasquez agreed. “I thought you would have visited at least once after returning from your big fancy trip in Europe!” That was the lie Bruce had had his PR team spread through the public when Jason had returned from his grave. They’d kept his death under wraps when it had happened, knowing they wouldn’t be able to explain away the sudden death of a healthy fifteen-year-old boy under the care of the lonely billionaire Bruce Wayne, so no one had batted an eye when Jason had ‘returned from studying abroad in Europe’ after a few years.

“But I do hope you enjoyed yourself, at least,” Mrs Vasquez finished, waving away any excuses before Jason could come up with them. Jason flashed her a grateful smile and slid his arm back around X when he straightened.

“It was … an experience,” he admitted ambiguously, exchanging a knowing look with X. “But I’m just glad to be home.” He squeezed his girlfriend into his side and breathed in the sweet and fruity scent of her shampoo as he rested his cheek on her head. Mrs Vasquez’s gaze flickered between them knowingly and she fixed Jason with an expectant look as she waited for an explanation.

“Oh! Uh, X, this is Mrs Vasquez,” Jason introduced her. “She used to slip me a packet of sweets every time Bruce dragged me to one of these things.” Mrs Vasquez grabbed Jason’s forearm to steady herself as she laughed at the memory.

“Oh! Poor Brucie was always so confused when you left the event even more energetic than when you entered!” she recalled, giving Jason a fond pat on the arm. Then she turned to X and held out a hand in greeting. “Lovely to meet you, dear.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you too, Mrs Vasquez,” X agreed. “I’ve never seen Jason smile at one of these things! Maybe I should keep a pack of sweets handy every time we go to one.” She turned to Jason with a naughty glint in her eye and his features relaxed even further when he met her gaze.

“Hmm, maybe next time you could bring a bit of home to Europe, Jason?” Mrs Vasquez suggested, a knowing look on her face as she glanced between Jason and X. “On a honeymoon, perhaps? I'm sure your beautiful girlfriend would love for you to bring her on a tour of Europe, isn't that right, dear?”

Jason's heart stopped at the word ‘honeymoon’. He'd just never thought that far ahead - it was a little hard to make plans for the future when you felt like you had Death chasing at your heels every day. He glanced over at X, terrified to see her reaction … but her features were lit up with a rosy glow, her lips stretched into a happy smile.

“That would be lovely, Jason,” X agreed, tilting her head back to smile up at him. Then she leaned forward to exchange a conspiratorial look with Mrs Vasquez. “Though I'm not sure we'd be doing much sightseeing if we were to go there on our honeymoon.”

The old woman burst into laughter and gave X a chiding tap on the arm. Then she turned to wag her finger at Jason. “I like her. I'll be waiting for my wedding invitation soon!”

Jason smiled dazedly, barely hearing anything after X's words. He didn't know whether his heart was pounding in his chest with nerves … or fluttering happily with excitement. Had she thought about marriage? Did she want them to be married someday? Living in their own little house with their own little kids … Jason gulped, then startled when he felt his girlfriend's fingers on his cheek, tugging his face towards hers.

“Jay?” she asked softly, letting her hand fall back to his chest. “Do you want to go somewhere private?”

Jason swallowed hard at the naughty look on her face - at the feeling of her fingers tickling him teasingly through his shirt - and nodded. X didn't hesitate before turning around and pulling him through the crowd, weaving in and out of disinterested guests as she led him away from the hall. Finally, she reached the door to Bruce's in-home gym and pushed Jason inside before closing it behind her.

“X!” Jason exclaimed, stumbling along behind her as she dragged him to a corner of the room. “What are you- Oof!” He let out a soft grunt as she pulled him against her, trapping herself between him and the wall. X slid her gaze over to the door, a devious smile on her lips, then she stretched onto her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Who's gonna visit the gym during a gala?” she pointed out, sliding her fingers up the back of his neck and into his hair. Her nails tickled his scalp gently and Jason found himself suddenly incapable of forming any rational thoughts.

She smirked when she saw his eyelids flutter shut as she ran her fingers through his hair. Then she let her gaze travel down his neck to his broad shoulders, his muscles accentuated so nicely by his form-fitting suit. The Wayne's would always invite her to any gala they went to - not least because her presence kept Jason calm and relaxed - and though she knew Jason hated events like this, she loved getting to dress up in all the beautiful outfits Bruce would get for her on Jason's behalf. She didn't come from a rich family and Jason wasn't one to flaunt the money Bruce would deposit in his bank account every month, so Bruce would always just tell her to send him the bill for whatever she'd rent for one of the fancy events they'd invite her to. He'd told her she could just buy the outfits, but she really had nothing else to wear them to besides the charity galas the rich and wealthy liked to throw. X let her fingers drift down to the lapels of Jason's jacket, the black lining contrasting so perfectly with the deep-red fabric that was ironically reminiscent of his Red Hood costume. And besides, why would she ever pass up on the opportunity to see her boyfriend - her best friend and the love of her life - so handsomely dressed up in his gorgeous suits?!

Jason swallowed hard at the way his girlfriend's eyes darkened as they travelled over his body. He'd never known how naughty she could be until they started dating - sneaking into his warehouse in her tight little vigilante costume to tease him with her curves, pulling him into an inconspicuous alcove to have a quick makeout session with him when they were supposed to be on patrol, and, shit, that call the other night? God, he was going to lose his mind if they had to keep sneaking around like this for any longer.

“X,” Jason murmured, his breath grazing her lips as he bent over her. His girlfriend shivered in his arms at the gravelly sound of his voice and Jason sucked in a breath as his core tightened with excitement.

God, she loved how soft and gentle he always was with her, his low voice, his tender touch, that boyish smile that would always take over his rugged features when they played with each other in bed. Shit, she loved him. She stretched up and closed the distance between them, letting out a soft moan when their lips touched. Jason smiled against her lips and X clung onto his neck again as her knees went weak at the feeling.

He wrapped one arm all the way around her, keeping her upright against him as he leaned his other hand on the wall. Shit, her dress was soft. He was going to take his time peeling it off her later, carefully exposing each inch of her smooth skin to him inch by precious inch. Jason lowered his mouth to her neck and let his hand fall down to the slit of her dress as he began pressing lingering kisses to her skin. His girlfriend let out a choked gasp as he dug his fingers into the bare skin of her thigh, and Jason felt his stomach flip at the sound. He'd always known that she loved him - she took such good care of him, after all, consistently planning her days to incorporate him into her daily schedule - but shit, he'd never known how much his best friend could have wanted him as well. Wanted his baggage, the trauma that had ingrained itself into his personality, the scars, the pain, the anger, all of it - she didn't just love all of him; she wanted it all as well.

She hooked her leg around his waist and pulled him closer to her, losing herself in the dizzying feeling of him all around her. Jason slid his hand higher up her thigh, his fingers sneaking beneath the hem of her dress, and X held her breath as he neared her centre.

“Jay!” she gasped when his thumb snuck beneath the waistband of her underwear, kneading her pelvic joint so she began dripping with anticipation. Her boyfriend chuckled into the crook of her neck, knowing exactly what he was doing to her, and another shiver danced its way down X's spine.

“You're so naughty, princess,” he murmured against her skin, his lips travelling slowly across the bare expanse of her shoulder, “dragging me in here so no one can see.”

X felt herself melt in his arms as her boyfriend licked his way back up her neck, his teeth gently grazing her skin before clamping down on her earlobe. “Or did you want someone to catch us? My naughty little nightingale?”

A helpless whimper fell from her mouth as he curled his fingers around her ass and Jason let out a muttered curse as her hips bucked forward, desperately seeking her boyfriend's warm centre.

“J-Jay …” X whined, her eyes so round and beautiful as she gazed up at him pleadingly. Jason swallowed hard at the adoring look on her face and her lips immediately flicked up into a smirk.

“Maybe …” X began thoughtfully, running her hands down his chest and straightening to press her lips to the base of his throat. Jason held his breath as his entire body tightened in anticipation, the adrenaline and testosterone flooding his veins at the feeling of his girlfriend's fingers inching dangerously closer to the part of his body that wanted her the most. “Maybe I just wanted to help my boyfriend relax a little?”

And now it was his turn to shiver at the way her warm breath grazed his neck as her lips moved against his skin teasingly. X snickered softly against his throat, then tilted her head and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the same spot. Jason closed his eyes, relaxing into the feeling of her gentle touches … but suddenly, his belt was unbuckled and his zip was undone and his girlfriend’s hand was in his pants, palming his length teasingly. “X …”

She giggled softly at the undercurrent of warning in his voice and Jason cursed again before shifting them around slightly, shielding her from the view of anyone who decided to walk through the door at such an inopportune moment. X snickered at the way he didn’t stop her - at the way he just let her continue to arouse him right where anyone could find them! - and curled her fingers around his shaft to start tugging on him gently. “I know how stressed you get at these things, baby. Are you feeling more relaxed now?”

Jason let out a low groan in response, doubling over so his soft hair was grazing her forehead, and X grinned before cupping his cheek in her free hand to angle his mouth towards hers. Shit, he was a good kisser! He hadn’t been at first, a little eager and over excited to stick his tongue in her mouth and lick up the taste of her. But with a little patience - and a lot of practise 😉 - he’d become so good at it that just the feeling of his tongue running across her lips was enough to make her weak in the knees! X sighed softly as Jason kneaded her tongue with his, both his hands wandering across her body, leisurely making their way back down to her ass …

“Holy f*cking God!” X snatched her hand out of Jason’s pants when she heard Tim’s horrified voice echo through the room. “What the f*ck are the two of you doing?!”

Jason took a step back from his best friend and quickly tucked himself back into his underwear before zipping his pants back up. His heart pounded rapidly in his chest as he twisted his head back to catch a glimpse of Tim and Cass standing at the other end of the room, equal expressions of shock on their faces. “What … What the hell are you doing here?!”

X ignored the panicked thudding of her heart as she straightened her dress and plastered an innocent smile onto her face. She avoided Jason’s gaze as she stepped out from behind him, keeping her eyes trained on Tim and Cass instead. “We were just taking a break from the rest of the party. What are you guys doing here?”

Tim stared at the two of them in silence, his jaw hanging open with shock as his brain worked overtime to process what he’d just caught them in the middle of. He’d have to wash his eyes with bleach or something later tonight. And probably his brain too. And his ears, so he wouldn’t forever be haunted by the sound of X’s playful giggles and Jason’s low and teasing voice and ugh, he was going to be sick!

“Dick sent us to come find you,” Cass explained, confused by the scene in front of her. “He said he thought he’d seen the two of you come this way a while back ... X, why is Jason wearing the same lipstick as you?” She tilted her in question, still not catching on to what they’d been doing, and her eyes fell to the red lip-shaped stain at the base of Jason’s throat.

“And he got some on his neck … Oh!” She gasped, suddenly realising how all the lipstick marks had gotten on Jason’s body, and lowered her head as a blush crept up her cheeks.

“Guys? What’s-?” Dick stopped short as he entered the gym, utterly bewildered by the sight before him: Tim on his knees on the ground, a traumatised look on his face, and Cass shifting awkwardly in position as she looked everywhere but at Jason and X. “Uh, what’s going on?”

X and Jason exchanged embarrassed looks as they tried to figure out how to respond, but before either of them could say anything, Tim replied for them. “They were f*cking having sex in the gym! Oh God. Did you guys touch anything?! Oh God, are there bodily fluids everywhere?! F*ck! I’m gonna … I can’t step foot in here ever again!”

He pushed himself to his feet and wobbled to the door, genuinely looking like he was about to throw up any second. Dick raised an eyebrow in concern as he moved to let him pass, then he folded his arms across his chest and turned to Jason and X for an explanation.

“I … We … Um, that’s …” The two of them stuttered, stumbling over their words as they tried to come up with an answer.

“Are you guys together?” Dick suggested, trying to stop his lips from curling at the ends with joy. Jason and X clasped their hands behind their backs, both of them wearing equally guilty expressions as they avoided Dick’s gaze.

“Um, uh, yes, actually …” Jason confirmed, causing a rush of victory to shoot through Dick’s chest.

“Um, for, um, about two months? Maybe?” X elaborated, making the whole situation even better! How the hell had they managed to sneak around for two months without anyone else finding out! This was so, so good!

“Two months?!” Tim exclaimed, still hovering in the doorway. “Oh, shit. Please don’t tell me … You haven’t had sex anywhere else, have you?”

X squeezed her legs together as her body grew excited at the mention of everyone knowing how intimate she’d been with her best friend and she kept her gaze fixed on the ground so they wouldn’t see the furious blush filling up her cheeks.

Jason stared at a corner of the ceiling and clenched his fists as he tried desperately to stop himself from snorting at the question: obviously, they’d had sex before - multiple times, in fact, both at her place and his. Thankfully though, his older brother intervened on Jason’s behalf before something completely inappropriate for the situation could slip out of his mouth.

“I seriously doubt this would be their first time, Tim,” Dick pointed out, his features curled into a knowing smirk. Tim gagged at the realisation that he was right, then he spun on his heel and raced out of the room, unable to take it any longer. Cass followed suit not longer after, flashing X a sheepish smile before she returned to the gala as well. Dick returned his attention to Jason and X, the three of them were left alone in the room now, and fixed them both with a smug grin. “Look, as happy as I am for the two of you, let’s try to keep it PG when there are other people around, okay?”

Jason rolled his eyes at his brother’s condescending tone, but didn’t look up, honestly a little embarrassed to have been caught with his girlfriend’s fingers curled so deliciously around his cock - but at least they wouldn’t have to keep their relationship a secret any longer. He turned to his girlfriend as she curled her body around his arm, her expression shy as she nodded in agreement to Dick’s suggestion, and Jason felt his stomach flip at the way she bit her lip nervously. Dick gestured to the door, not trusting the two of them to be left alone, and Jason escorted his girlfriend back into the gala.

“So,” X began softly, clearing his throat before sneaking a glance up at Jason. “Does this mean I can kiss you in front of Clara now?”

A snicker fell from Jason’s lips before he could catch it and X’s expression turned mischievous. Jason glanced around, trying to catch sight of her and quickly spotted her chatting Bruce’s ear off by a corner of the room. “I think her head might explode if you did that.”

X tugged on his arm, stopping him in his tracks, then cupped his cheek in her hand, turning him to face her. “All the more reason to do it!”

Jason slid his gaze over to the side, waiting until Clara had turned to them, her eyes alight with devilish glee, then he turned back to his girlfriend and touched his lips softly to hers.

“See?” X told him when a loud gasp sounded from across the room. “I told you these things weren’t so bad.”

Jason chuckled softly and pulled her into his chest for a hug, bending over again to press his lips to the top of her head.

“Only because you’re here,” he argued, too delighted to be wrapped up in his girlfriend’s arms in public to bother about who was watching them. X laughed and ran her fingers through his hair.

“I’ll always be here for you, Jay,” she reassured him, pressing a kiss to the side of his head before pulling back. “I love you, darling.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

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atlasthegreatest · 2 days ago

Text

Twinkling Lights and Crimson Blushes / Sophia Laforteza x Female Reader

Which, during a festive Christmas outing, the Katseye girls visit an ice skating rink, where Sophia accidentally bumps into Y/n, sending them both tumbling to the ice. Despite the minor chaos, Y/n can’t help but be captivated by Sophia’s beauty, even as she nurses a cut on her eyebrow.

Word count: 2440

A/n: Sophia Laforteza. That's it. That's the tweet.

The ice rink at Winter Haven Park was dazzling under the strings of golden lights crisscrossing overhead. It was Christmas Eve, and the Katseye girls had decided to embrace the festive season by enjoying an evening of ice skating. Sophia, wrapped in a chic red coat and matching scarf, led the way onto the ice.

“Careful, Sophia!” Yoonchae called from behind, wobbling slightly as she held onto the rink barrier. “Don’t get too confident. It’s slippery out here.”

“Yeah, Sophia,” Manon teased, gliding past with ease. “We wouldn’t want you embarrassing yourself in front of all these people.”

Sophia smirked and spun lightly in place. “Please, I’ve got this.”

The rest of the girls followed her onto the ice, some gracefully (like Daniela, who moved as if she belonged in an ice-dancing competition) and some less so (like Megan, who was clinging to Lara for dear life).

As Sophia focused on her footing, the music from the rink’s speakers changed to a Christmas classic, and the laughter of children mingled with the occasional thuds of people falling. She was skating backward, trying to call to Yoonchae, when she suddenly collided with someone.

Hard.

The impact knocked both of them to the ice, and Sophia groaned as she rubbed her head. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, turning to the person she’d crashed into.

The stranger—a tall, athletic-looking woman with warm brown eyes and a gentle expression—was sitting on the ice, holding her brow where a thin streak of red appeared.

Sophia’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh no! You’re bleeding!”

The woman stared at her, her mouth slightly open as if trying to form words. She didn’t seem particularly bothered by the cut, more focused on Sophia’s face.

Before Sophia could say anything else, another voice chimed in. “Uh, you okay, bud?” A friend of the woman skated over, snickering as they looked between the two. “Looks like you got taken out and starstruck at the same time.”

“Seriously, I’m so sorry,” Sophia said again, reaching into her coat pocket and pulling out a tissue. She pressed it gently to the stranger’s eyebrow. “Let me make it up to you. How about I buy you a coffee? Or—” she hesitated for a moment, her cheeks pinking—“or dinner?”

The woman blinked, still too stunned to reply. Her friend nudged her, grinning. “Say yes, idiot.”

Finally, the woman managed to stammer, “Y-yes, I’d… like that.”

Sophia smiled in relief, offering them a hand to help them up. “I’m Sophia, by the way.”

“I know,” the woman replied, sheepishly taking her hand. “I mean—uh, I’m Y/n.”

By now, the rest of the Katseye girls had gathered around, and Lara couldn’t help but laugh. “Sophia, only you could turn a skating accident into a romantic meet-cute.”

Manon raised an eyebrow. “So, dinner, huh? We’ll want details, Miss Laforteza.”

Yoonchae grinned. “This might be the most entertaining part of the night.”

Sophia shot them all a playful glare before turning back to Y/n. “Ignore them. They’re just jealous I managed to make an impression—though maybe not the most graceful one.”

Y/n chuckled, holding the tissue to her cut. “It’s a Christmas Eve to remember.”

As Sophia and Y/n exchanged warm smiles, the festive lights above seemed to twinkle a little brighter, hinting at the promise of something special on this magical winter night.

Sophia then helped Y/n to her feet, the festive chaos around them seemed to blur into the background. Y/n was still holding the tissue to her eyebrow, but her gaze kept flickering back to Sophia, who was equally flustered but doing her best to stay composed.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sophia asked, brushing imaginary snow off her coat. “I feel terrible about knocking you over.”

“I’m fine,” Y/n assured her, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I think the embarrassment hurts more than the cut.”

“Don’t let her fool you,” Y/n’s friend interjected, grinning. “She’s been watching you for the last ten minutes. She’s just mad you took the first step—literally.”

“Felix,” Y/n hissed, her ears turning red as she shot her friend a mortified glare.

Sophia tilted her head, her expression softening into something teasing. “Oh? Is that true?”

Y/n opened her mouth to respond, but the words got stuck in her throat. Thankfully, Felix wasn’t done stirring the pot. “She’s been hyping herself up to talk to you all night. Guess fate had other plans, huh?”

Sophia laughed—a bright, musical sound that seemed to melt away Y/n’s embarrassment. “Well, I guess I did the hard part for you. Now you owe me.”

Y/n blinked. “Owe you?”

“For dinner,” Sophia said, grinning. “You can call it an apology for not watching where I was going.”

Felix let out a low whistle. “Bold and charming. Y/n, if you don’t take her up on this, I’m stealing her for myself.”

The Katseye girls, who had been hovering nearby and pretending not to listen, finally burst into laughter.

“Looks like Sophia has an admirer,” Lara teased, gliding closer. “Maybe we should leave you two alone?”

“Not before we document this moment,” Manon added, pulling out her phone.

“Manon!” Sophia hissed, her cheeks flushing pink as she waved her hands. “Don’t you dare?”

But it was too late. Manon had already snapped a photo of Sophia and Y/n standing close, the Christmas lights behind them giving the scene a cozy, magical glow.

“Perfect,” Manon said with a smirk, showing the picture to Yoonchae, who giggled.

“Okay, okay,” Sophia said, turning back to Y/n. “Ignore them. They’re my biggest embarrassment most of the time.”

Y/n chuckled, her nervousness easing a little. “I don’t mind. They seem like good friends.”

“Good is a stretch,” Sophia muttered, earning playful boos from her members.

Felix nudged Y/n with his elbow. “So? You're gonna give the pretty girl your number or what?”

Y/n hesitated for a moment before reaching into her coat pocket and pulling out her phone. She handed it to Sophia, her hand brushing hers briefly, and the Filipino girl smiled softly as she entered her number.

“There,” Sophia said, handing the phone back. “Now you can text me about that dinner.”

“I will,” Y/n promised, her gaze lingering on Sophia for a moment longer than necessary.

As the two exchanged shy smiles, the rest of the Katseye girls started skating away, calling out teasing comments.

“Don’t keep her out too late!” Yoonchae joked.

“And don’t let her fall again,” Megan added with a grin.

Sophia groaned but couldn’t help laughing as she turned back to Y/n. “I am sorry about the cut. But I’m glad it led to this.”

Y/n smiled, her heart fluttering despite the still-throbbing pain in her eyebrow. “Me too.”

As they parted ways for the evening, the air was filled with the sounds of laughter, Christmas music, and the magic of an unexpected connection. And though Sophia didn’t know it yet, this was just the beginning of a story that would sparkle as brightly as the twinkling lights above the ice rink.

—————————-

As Sophia skated back to her group, Y/n lingered by the edge of the rink, still holding her phone and staring down at the number saved under “Sophia 🌟.” Felix watched her with an amused smirk.

“You good, champ?” Felix asked, leaning against the barrier. “You look like you just saw Santa in the flesh.”

Y/n blinked out of her daze, a sheepish grin spreading across her face. “She’s… something else.”

“Understatement of the century,” Felix quipped. “Don’t blow it. I’m rooting for you.”

Meanwhile, Sophia rejoined her members, who were waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce.

“Well?” Manon said, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “Did you ask for her number, or did she faint from being too close to your sheer magnificence?”

“Stop it,” Sophia said, trying to sound annoyed, though the blush on her cheeks gave her away.

“Come on, we need details!” Yoonchae chimed in, practically vibrating with excitement.

“It’s nothing,” Sophia said, her tone nonchalant as she tightened her scarf. “I just gave her my number so I could properly apologize for knocking her over.”

“Sure, sure,” Daniela said, skating alongside her. “You were apologizing. That’s why you were smiling at each other like it was a Hallmark movie.”

“You all are the worst,” Sophia groaned, covering her face with her gloved hands.

Lara, who had been watching quietly, finally spoke up. “She seemed nice. And cute.”

“Right?” Megan added. “Tall, too. I think she was blushing even more than you were, Sofia.”

“Enough!” Sophia said though she was laughing now. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the night, okay?”

But the teasing didn’t stop there. As they skated, the girls continued to whisper and giggle behind her back. They even waved at Y/n, who had re-entered the rink with Felix, much to Sophia’s embarrassment.

Eventually, the night wound down, and the girls gathered by the food stands for hot cocoa. Sophia glanced over her shoulder and caught Y/n looking her way again. She gave a small wave, and Y/n, encouraged by Felix, waved back.

Manon leaned over and whispered, “If she doesn’t text you by tomorrow, we’re taking over.”

“Manon, no,” Sophia said, but she couldn’t stop smiling.

The evening ended with laughter, cocoa, and the promise of something new blooming in the cold, festive air. As the girls walked off toward their car, Sophia couldn’t help but feel a little lighter, the twinkling lights overhead matching the spark she felt deep in her chest.

Bonus Chapter:

The morning after the ice-skating incident, the Katseye girls gathered around the breakfast table in their cozy rented holiday cabin. Snow was falling gently outside, blanketing the world in white. Inside, the air was filled with the smell of freshly brewed coffee, cinnamon rolls, and the unmistakable buzz of excitement as everyone recounted the previous night.

Sophia entered the room last, her hair slightly mussed, and a sleepy but content expression on her face. She plopped into a chair, reaching for a mug of coffee, but before she could take a sip, Yoonchae slid into the seat beside her, a mischievous grin already forming.

“Good morning, lovebird,” Yoonchae teased, nudging Sophia with her elbow.

Sophia groaned. “Please, no. Not before coffee.”

But the girls were relentless. Manon leaned across the table, her phone in hand. “So, I may have done a little stalking,” she said, flashing a photo of Y/n on Instagram, one taken at the rink from a friend’s story. “She’s cute. And tall. Hockey Player. And, oh look, she’s already following you.”

Sophia almost choked on her coffee. “Manon! How do you even find these things so fast?”

“Please,” Megan said, flipping her hair dramatically. “Manon’s practically the FBI when it comes to stuff like this. But the real question is—did she text you yet?”

Sophia’s cheeks flushed a deep red, and she avoided their expectant gazes.

“Oh my god, she did!” Daniela exclaimed, clapping her hands. “You’re blushing. Sophia, spill. What did she say?”

Reluctantly, Sophia pulled out her phone and opened her messages. “Fine,” she said, scrolling to Y/n’s name. “She texted me late last night. Just said it was nice meeting me and asked if I was free for dinner after Christmas.”

The table erupted into cheers and teasing whistles.

“Sophia, you’re living the rom-com dream,” Lara said with a warm smile. “Accidental meet-cute, sparks flying, and now a date? It’s perfect.”

“I’m happy for you,” Megan added, her voice softer but genuine. “Y/n seems sweet.”

Sophia couldn’t help but smile as she stared at the message again. “She does, doesn’t she?”

Yoonchae wiggled her eyebrows. “You better bring her around for official approval. We’re not letting just anyone date our leader, you know.”

Sophia rolled her eyes but laughed. “You’re all impossible. But… thanks. I think this might be something special.”

As the girls continued to chatter and tease, the snowfall outside seemed to match the warmth and joy inside. It was a Christmas to remember, not just for Sophia, but for all of them.

As the girls continued their lively banter, Sophia’s phone buzzed on the table. She glanced at it, seeing Y/n’s name pop up with a new message:

Y/n: “Morning! Hope you’re not too sore from the ice rink disaster. 😊 Still on for dinner after Christmas?”

The room fell silent as everyone caught sight of the message.

“Oh, she texted again!” Yoonchae squealed, reaching for the phone, but Sophia snatched it up before she could.

“Stop it!” Sophia said, laughing as she held the phone close to her chest.

“Okay, but you have to tell us what you’re going to say,” Megan pressed, leaning in. “Don’t overthink it, but don’t underthink it either. This is crucial.”

Sophia looked at her phone, debating for a moment. “I’ll just say… ‘Good morning! Not too sore, thankfully. And yes, dinner sounds great.’”

“Boring,” Manon deadpanned.

“It’s fine!” Sophia defended herself. “I’m not trying to be fancy. It’s just a confirmation.”

“Fine, fine,” Daniela said, waving her hand. “But you better let us help you pick out an outfit for this dinner. We can’t let our leader show up looking anything less than stunning.”

“Like I’d ever trust you guys with that,” Sophia teased, earning a chorus of mock protests.

As Sophia hit send, she glanced out the window, where the snow continued to fall softly. It felt like the world was moving slower than usual, giving her time to savor the sweetness of the moment.

Moments later, her phone buzzed again.

Y/n: “Great! I’ll pick you up at 7. Can’t wait to see you again.”

Sophia smiled, her heart skipping a beat. Before she could react, Yoonchae leaned over her shoulder and read the message aloud.

“Oh, she’s smooth,” Yoonchae said, smirking. “You’ve got a keeper, Sophia.”

“Enough,” Sophia groaned, but she couldn’t hide her grin.

Lara tilted her head thoughtfully. “You know, this feels like one of those moments we’re going to look back on and tease you about forever.”

“Like you don’t already have enough material,” Sophia replied dryly, but her expression softened as she looked around at her friends. “I’m glad I have you all here to make this even more embarrassing than it has to be.”

The girls laughed, and the conversation shifted back to holiday plans and their upcoming schedule, but Sophia’s mind lingered on Y/n’s message.

As the day went on, Sophia found herself feeling lighter, and more hopeful. Maybe the holiday magic wasn’t just for fairy tales. Maybe, just maybe, it was real—and she was living in it.

#Katseye #sophia laforteza #female reader #sophia laforteza x reader #gxg #christman’s fluff #katseye manon #katseye megan #katseye daniela #katseye lara #katseye yoonchae #katseye sophia #katseye x reader

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lvnleah · 1 day ago

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— christmas hunt | alessia russo 🎄

find the twelve days of Christmas masterlist here!

The house smelled of cinnamon and pine, the scent of Christmas wrapped around you like a warm blanket as you padded downstairs in your pajamas. The early morning light filtered through the window, and the faint hum of Alessia moving around the kitchen greeted you.

You grinned to yourself, already knowing she was probably stressing about breakfast, wanting everything to be perfect for your first Christmas morning in your new home together. She’d been buzzing with excitement all month, dropping hints about some big surprise she’d planned.

“Good morning,” you called as you stepped into the kitchen.

Alessia turned around, a mischievous smile spreading across her face. She was still in her own festive pajamas, the ones you’d convinced her to wear for your “Christmas aesthetic” photos last night.

“Morning, babe.” She leaned in, pressing a kiss to your cheek before nudging a mug of coffee toward you. “Sleep well?”

You eyed her suspiciously. “You’re up to something.”

“Maybe.” Her grin widened as she pulled out a small envelope from behind her back and handed it to you.

“What’s this?” you asked, taking it and glancing at her.

“Open it and find out,” she said, practically bouncing on her heels.

You tore open the envelope to find a handwritten note inside. Alessia’s familiar scrawl filled the card: Christmas morning begins with a quest, so follow these clues and find the rest.

You raised an eyebrow at her. “A scavenger hunt? Seriously?”

She shrugged, her cheeks flushing slightly. “It’s fun! Just go with it.”

You rolled your eyes playfully but couldn’t stop the smile tugging at your lips as you read the first clue: Where mornings start, and dreams come true, there’s something waiting just for you.

“The bedroom?” you guessed, and Alessia nodded encouragingly.

Jogging upstairs, you searched your nightstand and found a small wrapped package tucked behind your alarm clock. Inside was a framed photo of the two of you at the Arsenal Christmas party the year before, Alessia’s arms wrapped around you, both of you mid-laugh.

“Cute,” you called out as you headed back downstairs. “What’s next?”

She handed you the second clue: Where it’s cozy and warm, with a flickering glow, your next surprise is hiding low.

You grinned, heading for the living room and kneeling by the fireplace. Sure enough, another package was tucked under the hearth. This one contained a pair of fluffy socks—the kind you always stole from Alessia’s drawer.

“Very practical,” you teased as Alessia followed you into the room, her hands tucked behind her back.

“There’s more!” she said, handing you the final clue. By the tree where magic grows, look for the star that always glows.

You turned toward the Christmas tree, its lights twinkling softly. At the very top, nestled beside the star, was a small velvet box.

Your heart skipped a beat.

Reaching up, you carefully retrieved it, your hands trembling slightly. When you turned back around, Alessia was standing there, her eyes wide and filled with love.

“Less…” you began, your voice catching.

“I know it’s a bit cliché,” she said, her own voice shaky as she stepped closer. “But I wanted this Christmas to be special—for us. You’re my home, my everything, and I want to spend every Christmas for the rest of my life with you.”

She reached out, gently taking the box from your hands and dropping to one knee.

“Will you marry me?” she asked, her smile soft and full of hope.

Tears blurred your vision as you nodded. “Yes. Of course, yes.”

Alessia slipped the ring onto your finger, standing to pull you into her arms. The world seemed to melt away as she kissed you, the warmth of her embrace making everything else fade.

When you finally pulled back, her cheeks were flushed, her grin as wide as you’d ever seen it.

“Merry Christmas, fiancée,” she whispered.

You laughed, wiping at your eyes. “Best Christmas ever.”

And as the two of you stood by the tree, wrapped in each other’s arms, you couldn’t help but feel like all the magic Alessia had planned wasn’t in the scavenger hunt or the gifts—it was in her, in the way she loved you, in the way she made every moment feel extraordinary.

#lvnleah #alessia russo #lvnleah: 12 days of christmas

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exitpursuedbyavulcan · 3 days ago

Text

My Fair Lady's Maid (Regency!Aemond x Lady's Maid!Reader)

Part 3: With a Little Bit of Luck

Frustrated with his grandsire's tedious and thorough process of choosing him a "suitable" bride, Aemond makes a declaration that a lady's maid could be indistinguishable from a true noblewoman so long as she was sufficiently dressed and educated in embroidery, conversation, and the like. Otto takes this as a challenge, and gives Aemond four months to turn one of Helaena's lady's maids into a noblewoman.

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader (third person, no use of Y/N)

Warnings: none

Point of View: Limited third person omniscient

Author's Note: Finally had a burst of inspiration for this last night, and here we are!

With a Little Bit of Luck

Miss Doolittle stood at the base of the stairs in her little basement apartment. It wasn’t really an apartment, even if she’d lived there for nearly three years. In truth, it was a cellar. The owner of the house above had graciously put a small bed in it when she first rented it, but he also continued to keep his winter stores and several chests of assorted junk there, taking up nearly half the space.

Still, it wasn’t so bad. Back then, when she hadn’t wanted to go out, see anyone, or do anything, those chests of junk had entertained her. And she loved the smell of the dried apples. Even if it was small, it was cozy. There was enough room for everything she owned in the world, which, admittedly, wasn’t much.

All of it was now stuffed into her rucksack; still, the bag wasn’t full. It likely would have been if she’d been able to buy that clock at the market yesterday, but she didn’t want to think about that now. She was already too sad.

It didn’t make sense, her sadness. She was leaving this cave to go and live in a manor house. She would never be woken by rats again, and she would have enough money to buy a hundred clocks. But this had been her home for the past three years.

She squared her chin and adjusted the strap of her rucksack. She’d started over before. It was how she ended up here. And this time… this time would be easier, she knew it.

So, she walked up the stairs and out of that little basement, hoping she had enough time to run one last errand before the cart from Kingswood came to take her to her new home.

The village green, like her apartment, could not truly be called its name. Not since the village council decided to put gravel paths all over it and plant all kinds of trees, bushes, and flowers in most of the blank spaces between the paths, while others were left empty for vendors to set up for market day. It was pretty, but it made crossing the green and finding the person she was looking for even harder.

Luckily, he seemed to be in a good mood today. All she had to do to find him was follow the sound of his fiddle.

“Egg?” she called when she came to a patch of trees and bushes that were now big enough to obstruct her view. She knew he was somewhere in there, but she couldn’t see him.

His bow scratched against his fiddle before falling silent. “Is that you, Little Girl?”

She wanted to protest the nickname but didn’t. He’d been calling her that since she was a little girl, and he was a vagabond teenage boy who played the prettiest music she’d ever heard. “It’s me.”

The bushes rattled, and a moment later, the man Miss Doolittle knew as ‘Egg’ burst into the open and hugged her so hard she nearly fell over.

“God, am I happy to see you!” He started spinning her back and forth, and several trinkets spilled out of her bag. “I thought I’d missed my chance to say goodbye!”

She finally gave up resisting and smiled as she hugged him back. “Not yet. They aren’t picking me up ‘til noon.” Which left them a little under a quarter-hour to catch up before she had to meet the Kingswood coachman in front of the church.

Egg finally set her down, running a hand over his shaved head. She’d never actually asked if he shaved it, but he was too young to be bald, and she’d seen several nicks on the back of his head that looked like they came from a razor. He immediately bent down to pick up the knick-knacks he’d accidentally forced her to spill. “If I’d known you were leaving Rosby, I would have come back sooner. Why didn’t you send a letter?”

“Where would I send it? You only stay in the same place for a week at most.” Besides, she didn’t have much spare money to spend on sending a letter. “You leave as soon as your bar tab gets too high.”

“True,” Egg admitted. He finally finished tucking her trinkets away, then strapped his fiddle to his back and offered his arm. “And it seems I’ll have to add Kingsgrave to the rotation if I ever want to see my Little Girl again, even though it’s quite far.”

She looked over at him, confused. “I’m not goin’ to Kingsgrave. I’m goin’ to Kingswood.”

He stopped suddenly, tugging on her arm hard to get her to face him. He wasn’t smiling anymore. She didn’t know if she’d ever seen Egg not smiling before. It unsettled her.

“You’re going to work at Kingswood?”

She nodded.

“What position?”

“I’ll be a lady’s maid.”

“To Lady Helaena?”

“Yes.”

He bit his lips. He wasn’t just not smiling. He was angry. His eyes had grown dark, and his brow furrowed.

“Is that bad? Have you heard bad things about Lady Helaena? I know they say she’s odd, but I haven’t heard anyth – ”

“I have no quarrel with Helaena, no. I just…” He again ran a hand over his head, his fingers digging into the skin in a way Miss Doolittle was sure was painful. He tucked his chin in for a moment and took a deep breath before looking back up. He was smiling again, but it was strained. “I’m just worrying about my Little Girl. Ignore me. Helaena is very kind.”

She sighed in relief, slumping into his side as they began walking again. “That’s good. I’ve been lookin’ forward to this for so long, I’d hate if it ended up a nightmare.”

Egg looked at her with a brow raised. “You’ve been looking forward to this?”

“Well, yeah.” His tone sounded doubtful. Did he not think she could do the job? “I know I’ve never had an actual job before, but I do now. I’ll work real hard, I swear it. I’ll be a proper lady in no time, you’ll see.”

“I’ve no doubt you can be a proper lady,” Egg said while ruffling her hair. “I just don’t know if I want you to be. I like you very well, just as you are, I’ll have you know.”

She liked herself too, mostly. Sometimes she wished she was taller or had prettier hair. Every once in a while she took a dislike to the color of her eyes, but it usually faded. Whenever she had to decide whether to pay rent or buy a nice warm meal at the pub, she wished she was someone else entirely.

But if she were taller, it would have been hard to climb down the small staircase to her cellar. If her hair was different, Harry wouldn’t have told her how much he liked it almost every time she saw him. And if her eyes were a different color, she wouldn’t be reminded of her mother every time she caught her reflection.

“I’m not going to become a whole new person,” she declared. Egg looked dubious as he led her to sit on a stone bench across the road from the church. “Just… more refined. Now stop griping at me and talk about something else!”

Egg threw his head back in a great, wide smile as he laughed. “Only since it’s your last day in Rosby, Little Girl. What do you want to talk about?”

The first topic that came to mind was the two men from yesterday, the kind one and the brute. But that was too maddening. “You know about Lady Helaena, right?” He nodded. “Then tell me about the rest of them?”

He hesitated for a long while before he bit his cheek and began. “They’re the same as all the others. The lord of the house has a stick shoved so far up his ass he can’t bend over. The grandfather is a desperate social climber. The th.. second son is something of a rake, but good-hearted. Helaena though, she’s a good girl. Strange, but good. She’s very kind, like you. I think you’ll get along. … How do you feel about insects?”

Miss Doolittle laughed. “I’ve lived in a dirty basement for three years. Why?”

“Just wondering,” Egg said with a secretive smile.

God, she was going to miss him. His humor, his music, that smile. It had been very easy to fall in love with him when she was a girl, though she’d since grown out of it. He was one of her dearest friends, but far too… Egg for her to ever truly love or marry him. Still, she was envious of how happy he always was, even with no money in his pockets.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” She dug through her knapsack to find the little coin purse she’d made from a beautiful curtain Mrs. Cunningham discarded when it was torn. She extracted the two crowns and one half-crown she had left over from what that horrible man had thrown at her the day before. “These are for you.”

Egg’s blue eyes went wide. “Where the hell did you get that?”

She thought for a moment how much to tell him before deciding on simply, “A customer.”

His surprise melted into mischief. “What kind of customer?”

“What, exactly, are you implying?”

“Nothing! Just wondering if you’d decided to sell something other than flowers, and if so, how much you charge? Because I’ll give these right back if…”

“You’re disgusting!” she shrieked as she hit him with her bag over and over until he finally held his hands up in concession.

“You have my sincere apology.” He righted his mussed clothes, then looked at her. “But really, Little Girl, why are you giving me these?”

Because just looking at them makes me want to vomit. She sighed. “Because I don’t need it – I’ll be making my own money soon. You need it, though.”

Egg’s eyes turned thoughtful and soft. It was the kind of look she would once have swooned over. “You’re too kind. I worry you’ll lose that at Kingswood. That place and those people will wring it out of you if you let them. Promise me you won’t?”

“I promise,” she whispered, dropping the coins into his outstretched hand. She wrapped her hand around his, closing his fingers around the money. “If you promise me you’ll take care of yourself.”

He laughed, shaking their joined hands. “I’ll do my best. But with a little bit of luck, I’ll always have people like you around to help me out.”

She started to chide him, to warn him that he’d eventually need to learn to rely on himself, even if she knew he’d only laugh it off. But a sharp whistle and the crack of a whip sounded from the end of the street, and both their heads turned to find its source.

A two-horse cart had turned onto the main road. Not an unusual sight in itself, especially for a market town. But it wasn’t market day. And it was no ordinary cart, but one she’d only ever seen in illustrations in books. The cart of daring gentlemen and rakes. Its back wheels were twice the size of those in the front and carried seats made of green-painted wood and black leather that gleamed in the sunlight.

“Of course, they sent the fucking phaeton,” Egg murmured, giving a name to the vehicle. He stood quickly, pulling her up with him, and embraced her tightly. “Good luck, Little Girl. I’ll miss you.”

Then, he left. Releasing her from his grasp so swiftly she stumbled back a step. By the time she’d caught her breath, he was gone, without even the music of his fiddle to hint at where he’d gone.

“I’ll miss you too,” she whispered to the wind, hoping it would carry her words to him.

Only a few hours later, she was stepping out of the cart and onto the gravel drive of the Kingswood Estate.

The estate itself sprawled across half the woods, according to the coachman, Arryk, who had informed her when they officially crossed onto the property miles ago. The house, a term which seemed to Miss Doolittle to be a massive understatement, was near the center of it, within a smaller, but still enormous, gated park.

It was beautiful, with pale stone walls coated with ivy, gleaming glass windows framed with iron, and surrounded by flowers of every shape and color. And it was to be her new home.

Well, she was to be one of its servants. But still. Servants could call it home, too.

But what servants could not do was enter through the main doors. Instead, Arryk led her around the side of the house and through a smaller, much dirtier door into a stiflingly hot kitchen.

A woman who appeared to be around two hundred years old – the cook, presumably – barked orders at several kitchen maids with such ferocity it was a wonder that fire spewed only from the oven and not her mouth. As young men in fine suits filed into the room and began picking up silver trays laden with steaming food, the woman took a deep breath and started yelling at them instead.

Arryk leaned closer to Miss Doolittle. “Don’t do anything to get on Cook’s bad side,” he whispered, what sounded like genuine fear wavering in his voice. “She’ll roast you alive.”

As if she had heard him, the cook whirled around on him, her warm brown eyes blazing like hot coals. “What are you standing around for, Mr. Cargyll?” she bellowed. “And who’s this little waif?”

“Lady Helaena’s new maid.” His voice cracked like a boy’s.

The old woman huffed as those burning eyes examined her intently. “Put her in Mrs. Rivers’ sitting room and get out. I’ll not have you tracking horse shit in my kitchen.”

Arryk nodded hastily, the movement like that of a soldier accepting a command from his general. He took two steps forward, indicating Miss Doolittle should follow when he and everyone in the kitchen froze where they were.

Miss Doolittle followed their stunned gazes to the base of a narrow staircase and the two people who had just descended.

The first was a woman, neither old nor young, with deep black hair that flowed down her back in a long, silky sheet. Though she wore the dress of a servant, the keyring hanging from her waist indicating that she was likely the housekeeper, there was a certain power in her green gaze that made Miss Doolittle think the woman had been a queen in some other life.

But the thought did not last long, for her eyes drifted to the man standing just behind the housekeeper.

Shit.

The finest man she’d ever seen. With silver hair, one eye of crushing blue, one a milky white, and an angry red scar running across his face.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

She hadn’t even met Lady Helaena, and she was about to be sacked.

Or, judging by the wicked delight in the man’s eyes and his crooked smile, perhaps she was about to be eaten alive.

The housekeeper turned to face the man, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Lord Aemond, do you know this girl?”

Lord Aemond.

Forget being sacked or eaten. He could simply have her executed. It may even be a mercy, to spare her the humiliation that burned within her like a thousand raging bonfires.

He turned to the housekeeper, the movement too graceful and smooth. “I’m afraid I do.” He looked back at Miss Doolittle. No, he looked past her. “Mr. Cargyll, I will not be needing you to take me to Rosby tomorrow, after all.”

Then, he did look at her, and the cold in his eyes felt like an icicle shoved through her heart. She wanted to run. To scream. To shrink into nothing just to escape him. She wanted to run all the way back to Rosby, find Egg, and beg him to take her far, far away from here.

But she remained where she was, under the hateful gaze of her new employer, unable to so much as blink as he smiled a ruthless, joyless smile. “I’ve been hoping to see you again, flower girl. I have a proposition for you.”

Egg’s joyous, carefree voice echoed in her mind.

With a little bit of luck.

He’d never specified whether it was good luck or bad luck.

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hazzashouse · 2 days ago

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The Unattainable Princess (Prince!Harry Styles x Y/N)

A/N: I had this one in my drafts for a while and I’m not sure I still like it but I’ll let you be the judge of that. Enjoy!

Summary: Prince Harry is captivated by Princess Y/N, but when she coolly declines his invitation to dance, he interrupts her dance with another prince to claim her attention.

The ballroom was a sea of glittering gowns and polished shoes, a world of grandeur Harry had long since grown accustomed to. He moved through it with the same ease and confidence, a Prince who had spent years perfecting the art of royal events. But tonight—tonight was different.

Princess Y/N.

The rumors of her beauty and indifference were not exaggerated. She stood across the room, surrounded by eager courtiers and noblemen, yet it was clear she was untouched by it all. She held herself with such grace, an air of self-assuredness that was impossible to ignore. Her icy calm had only intrigued Harry more. He liked a challenge.

He watched her, as always, a faint smirk curling on his lips. No one had ever resisted his charms for long. Why would she be any different?

After making his rounds through the guests, Harry decided it was time to approach her. The orchestra played a soft waltz, and the crowd swirled around them like a dream. He made his way over with ease, his confident stride unwavering. When he reached her, he bowed low, his voice as smooth as ever.

“Your Highness,” he greeted, flashing a smile that usually sent hearts fluttering. “Would you do me the honor of a dance?”

For a moment, she studied him with those cool, unreadable eyes. Harry leaned in slightly, basking in the way she seemed to take her time. But when she spoke, her tone was nothing like the adoration he’d expected.

“I’m afraid I must decline, Prince Harry,” she said, her voice polite but firm. “I’m already engaged for this dance.”

Harry’s jaw tightened, but he masked it with a chuckle. “Of course,” he said smoothly. “How fortunate for your partner.” He lingered for a moment, waiting for her to soften, to relent. But Y/N remained poised, unbothered, her gaze now drifting away from him, returning to the conversation she’d been having before.

Harry stood there for a heartbeat longer, his mind swirling with a mixture of confusion and irritation. He had never been turned down like this—not once in his life. He was used to women falling at his feet, charmed by a smile, a word, the magic of his presence. But Y/N? She wasn’t like anyone else.

As if to punctuate the distance between them, Y/N turned to a tall, dark-haired Prince who had been waiting nearby. With a polite nod, she placed her hand in his, and the two of them began to glide across the dance floor together.

Harry’s eyes narrowed. It was like a slap to the face. The audacity—she was dancing with him, with him. A man he knew was nothing more than a glorified title, a prince with no real power or purpose. But she had chosen him. And not Harry.

Something inside him snapped.

Before he could stop himself, he crossed the ballroom, his steps deliberate, almost predatory. He approached the couple mid-dance, catching the eye of the Prince and offering a nod. But it was Y/N who held his attention. She didn’t even glance his way when he arrived—she was lost in the music, in the sway of the dance.

Harry’s voice was low but deliberate as he interrupted. “Forgive me, Your Highness,” he said, his tone smooth but carrying an edge. “I do believe this is my dance.”

The Prince gave him a tight smile, but Harry barely acknowledged him, his eyes fixed on Y/N. She blinked in surprise, looking up at him for the first time since he’d approached. Her expression was unreadable, but Harry could see the faintest flicker of annoyance in her gaze.

“You are so sure of yourself, aren’t you?” she said, her voice soft but sharp. “I’m afraid I’ve already accepted this dance.”

Harry leaned in slightly, his words deliberately casual as he gave her an amused smile. “We wouldn’t want to cause a scene, now, would we?” he said, his eyes twinkling with that familiar arrogance.

Y/N’s gaze narrowed, but she didn’t speak at first. The orchestra swelled around them, and the Prince she had been dancing with stepped back, a hint of confusion crossing his features as Harry took his place beside Y/N.

“I’m not here to make a scene, Princess,” Harry said, his hand coming to rest at her waist, pulling her gently into the dance. “Just to dance with the woman who’s managed to make me feel… thoroughly intrigued.”

Y/N said nothing for a moment, her fingers stiff against his. But Harry could feel the tension in her. She was resisting, resisting him in a way no one ever had before, and it drove him mad.

“You must think very highly of yourself, don’t you?” she said at last, her voice dripping with cool detachment. “I’ve danced with countless men, Prince, but none of them have ever interrupted another’s dance as you have.”

Harry’s eyes flashed with a hint of challenge. “And yet, here we are,” he replied smoothly, his thumb brushing over her hand as they moved across the floor. “You haven’t pushed me away yet.”

She glanced up at him then, and Harry was struck by the hardness in her gaze, the way she seemed entirely unaffected by his presence. She was different—so different—and it was both maddening and magnetic.

“Don’t mistake my courtesy for interest,” Y/N said, her voice steady but cutting. “You’ve made your point, Prince Harry. But I don’t need to be won. I’m not a prize for you to claim.”

For the first time, Harry faltered. There was no charm to be used here, no clever line that could break through her reserve. She wasn’t falling for him, and it unnerved him. She didn’t care for his title, his charm, his reputation. She wasn’t impressed.

And somehow, that made him want her even more.

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naughtyneganjdm · 3 days ago

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Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 18

Summary: When his laptop starts giving him shit, Joel asks for Y/N's help to fix it which leads to her snooping on it against her better judgement. Wanting to be a better man, Joel goes to Negan to apologize and be more open with him which leads to Joel accepting to be the man he was never allowed to be.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Negan Smith, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/157394716 Warnings: Swearing, Severe Angst, Smut, m/m sex scene, bottom!Joel, Top!Negan, etc.

Notes: My schedule is all fucked up with this story and I'm sorry for that! I obviously won't finish it before Christmas, but I will do my best. This chapter has a m/m sex scene in it. So, putting that out there! You can choose to ignore it if you like. Thanks for reading!

Even though she enjoyed having the time to spend with those that she cared about, there were certain days where Y/N regretted taking as much vacation time as she did from work. Having a busy mind would help her get through the days that she was alone, but since she never took any time off during the year, this was more of a forced time off. Regardless, she had still logged into work today to see if there was anything she could help with. Considering she was all alone today, she didn’t think it would be much of a problem. Joel had a meeting with a potential client, Negan had something to do and the children were with their friends.

Earlier in the day, Joel had come to her in a panic before his meeting because his computer had frozen on him. Joel was convinced it had something to do with the e-mails that he received after he went viral with Negan in New York. Part of him worried that someone had sent him a virus of some kind because they hated Negan. And while that was a possibility, she was certain that Joel’s computer was just giving him shit. It was older. While things were still ill at ease between them with what happened, Joel had stressed to her how worried he was because he had all of his important files and contacts saved on there. Along with photos and videos of the children. He was afraid of losing them, so she offered to help him.

Joel was never really good with technology and she worked on computers all the time, so she really didn’t see it as a big deal. When things went wrong with work at home, she was the only person for the most part that could be IT and fix things herself. So while she was working on something for work, she had been running a system restore point for Joel. And she had also promised to get him a portable hard drive to help him put all of his files onto it so he didn’t lose them.

While she wanted to be mad at Joel, she couldn’t be. Even if she wanted to. Multiple times he texted her and she’d respond. Today was just the first day that they spoke face to face. And while he had a meeting that he had to go to, it didn’t stop Joel from attempting to talk to her about everything. Apologizing multiple times for what he had done the other night at the Christmas Fest when he was drunk. The amount of times he apologized was quite extensive. It was all he could really focus on. How sorry he was. It seemed to really upset him what he had done. He had stressed to her multiple times how much he loved her. How he wanted to do everything right and make her happy. How he wanted to be a better version of himself. Several times he promised her that he wanted them to be close and work on their relationship together.

When his phone went off with Tommy asking him where he was, Joel had to run off. And she promised him by the time that he got back she would have everything handled with his computer. By the time she was done with what she needed to do for work, she returned to Joel’s laptop and it seemed like the system restore point had worked.

From all their years together, she knew Joel’s password was Peter’s name and Elizabeth’s birthday in numerical form. Making sure that the computer was working, she logged into it and was happy to see that it was opening normally. As everything loaded, she realized the folder that he had open was family videos. A video was already open and curiosity got the best of her. Hitting the play button made her smile when she realized that it was a family video from Christmas time of them together.

A sense of awe flooded her veins over the fact that was the last video that Joel was watching before his computer decided to give him shit. Closing up the video, she grabbed the portable hard drive and started to copy some of his family videos onto it so he wouldn’t lose them. Actually, it was pretty cute how many family videos he did have on his computer. Ranging as far back as Elizabeth being a baby. She could see why these were so important to Joel.

While that folder was copying, she went back to his overall videos folder. Joel wasn’t very good with naming things. He was the complete opposite of her. Also opening his photos folder, she felt her throat tighten seeing that some of the first few photos she noticed were Joel and Tess together. They had broken up a while ago, yet Joel still had photos of them together on his computer. Then again, she knew Joel was messy with how he kept things. Dragging his photos folder onto the hard drive, she dropped that down and then went back to looking at his video folder. Clicking on a random folder, she opened a video that was inside of it and let out a tense breath when she realized what it was.

A nervous sound escaped her lips with her looking over her shoulder to make sure that she had turned her computer off so there was no way that her camera was on. When she made sure it was off, she let out a relieved sound and looked to Joel’s laptop again. Stretched out on the bed in the video was a younger version of herself very much naked laying on their bed. It immediately clicked with her that this was one of their personal, naughty videos that they had done together that Joel had assured her that he would delete.

Maybe she should have stopped, but she was watching the video with her heart hammering inside of her chest. A much younger Joel walked into the screen wearing only a pair of light-colored jeans. In the past, Joel was always very much turned on by taking videos of them having sex. It was a kink of his and she was starting to realize that he hadn’t gotten over it. In the video Joel was going down on her with her cries filling the air. Watching closely, she felt her body tensing up when Joel shed his pants and she realized this was one of their romantic sexual moments. While she got the appeal of the videos, considering they had children that were smart, Y/N didn’t know how safe it was to keep these.

Closing that video and opening another, she felt her face flushing over with heat when she realized it was a video of her giving a blowjob to Joel from his perspective. Quickly closing the video, she felt her face getting hot that he kept all of these. Opening another one, she saw Joel laying over her with her face down on the bed. Joel was setting the camera up on the nightstand before returning to her. When he had the camera the way he wanted, the younger version of Joel smiled and crawled back in over her. His hand curled around her throat pulling her head back while his other hand reached between them to lead his hard cock into her. A loud smacking sound filled the air with Joel filling her and she felt her body getting hot at what she was watching. Unlike the first one, this was pure filth in terms of the kind of sex that they were having.

Honestly? She probably should have stopped there, but she didn’t. Opening video after video of the things that Joel had kept between them. Stopping on one, she realized it was one that was toward the end of the part of their marriage before Joel started to grow cold with her. The video was better probably because Joel was so used to doing the videos. You saw everything in this video. Which mortified her. What if one of the children went on his computer and saw this?

“Look at me,” Joel demanded, his fingers grabbing a tight hold of Y/N’s jaw in the video while their loud, broken breaths continued. The smacking sounds of their skin filled the video while Joel kissed her. Joel’s forehead pressed to hers with a big smile expanding over his features. “I love you.”

There were two thoughts going on in her mind right now. Panic if the children had ever seen this and the other was her wondering what it was that made Joel fall out of love with her not long after. Because in this video? The way that Joel looked at her took her breath away. He was obsessed with her back then. Hooked on her and always wanting to touch her, kiss her and be with her.

“You need to stop,” she huffed to herself, scrolling through the same folder. Truthfully? There were so many videos that they took together that she couldn’t believe she even allowed him to do it in the first place. It was a vast array of things that they had done since they were together. Yes, some of them did get her hot and bothered, but she didn’t know if it was a bad or a good thing that it did.

Part of her was worried that going through the videos she would find something of him and Tess together. But the more she scrolled, the more she began to realize that there was nothing. Which was strange because that was one of Joel’s biggest kinks when they were together. Deep down she had mentally prepared herself to see videos that Joel had done with Tess, yet there were none.

Confusion flooded her veins with just how happy she felt to know that he didn’t have any. Why she felt that way was beyond her. And she was embarrassed to admit that it did make her so fucking happy.

Sliding in closer, she narrowed her eyes and focused on the images realizing the date on one of the videos was toward the end of their marriage. In the thumbnail all she saw that it was Joel and she opened the video up.

“I reckon you’ve been lonely lately and I thought that maybe this would help you,” Joel’s southern drawl filled the air and it had her leaning back into the chair.

This was a new one for her, one she had never seen before. But it was certainly when she was still married to Joel because he had his wedding ring on. Sitting forward in the chair he was in, Joel tugged at the blue t-shirt that he was wearing. Tossing it aside, Joel leaned forward in the chair dragging his fingers across his chiseled jawline. A laugh fell from her throat when Joel flexed his bicep in the video drawing attention to his muscular form. Standing up, Joel stepped back so the camera got just to the top of his head and to his mid thighs. Back then, Joel was in a little better of a shape than he was now with v-line leading toward the top of his pants. Maybe this was something that he made for her in the past but never sent her because they had gotten in a fight. Back then, Joel was a little more arrogant with his body. She definitely remembered those days with Joel palming up over his chiseled abdomen toward his chest. Caressing at it, Joel lowered his hands and dropped them over the belt that he was wearing. This was his way of being seductive and it made her laugh again the way he dragged his fingers across the belt. Tugging it open, Joel took his time opening his jeans and slightly tugging it down over his hips. In the movement, he took his boxer down with it revealing the dark curls of hair right above the base of his cock in a teasing moment.

Turning around in the video, Joel pushed his pants down over his ass to reveal it. Maybe she was wrong for watching it, but since she was married to him at the time, she really didn’t see what the big deal was. Through the video, Joel focused on flexing a little bit before turning to face the camera again. By the time he pushed his pants down fully, his cock bounced with the movement and it made her sigh. Joel jerked off standing up for a bit in the video before adjusting the camera so he could sit back down in the chair and continue.

Back then, she was completely head over heels for him. Back then? Who the fuck was she kidding? She was always going to be head over heels for Joel. So watching these videos was wrong on her part especially since she knew that they would have some kind of effect on her. Really she should have been more mortified than she was that he kept these videos.

At the end, cum was covering Joel’s chest and abdomen with an arrogant smile tugging at his lips. Joel reached for a tissue and cleaned himself up before sliding in closer to the camera to flash a sheepish smile, “I hope you enjoyed that Lucille, it’ll give you something to keep you hot while Negan is gone.”

Suddenly, she leaned forward to stop the video after hearing that bit, “What the fuck?”

Realizing that Joel had his e-mails open and his phone messaging was connected to the computer, Y/N felt a sense of rage flooding her veins. Opening the e-mails, she realized that Lucille’s e-mails were already loaded in the search bar. Snooping was beneath her, but she felt overwhelmed seeing what she just did. Going through the emails, most of them were them just talking. In some of them, he talked very highly about Y/N, but in others he said really awful things about her to Lucille. It seemed like two miserable people in marriages where they needed a friend to talk to. But she did eventually find e-mails of them flirting with one another. What seemed like was originally innocent, turned to e-mails with occasional sexting. But eventually it seemed like things stopped.

If he was doing this with Lucille…suddenly Y/N’s heart sank. Typing in Tess’s name, she found the e-mails that Joel had with her realizing that his e-mails with her were also very sexual during their separation. Upset flooded her body and she knew that it was wrong, but she dived deeper into things opening up Joel’s text messages that were connected to Joel’s phone.

Opening up his messages with Tess, she acknowledged that the last time that Joel wrote her was months ago.

Can we talk please?

That came from Joel after they broke up. Part of her wondered if it wasn’t a mutual thing with them breaking up.

Scrolling through a few things, the last message she saw came from Tess.

Goodbye Joel. You’re still hooked on your ex-wife. Nothing you can say can change my mind. You’re always talking about her. Comparing me to her. Your heart knows what you want. So does mine. I can see why your marriage ended with Y/N if you were as cold with her as you were me.

Pushing away from the table that Joel’s laptop was on, she didn’t know how to respond to everything that she had seen. Tensing up, the sound of the door opening was heard and she looked back over her shoulder to see that it was Joel entering the house with a big bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bag of take out in the other.

“I know you wanted me to ditch the keys, but this was a good day with work,” Joel started to ramble, closing the door with his heel. “I figured I would get us something to celebrate and hoped we could talk. I picked up the Chinese food that you like and…”

Joel’s smile faded when he saw the expression that was over her face and he let out a nervous breath, “What’s wrong?”

Noticing that the laptop was on, Joel nodded toward it and tipped his head to the side, “Did you figure out everything with the computer?”

“I did,” she answered, folding her arms out in front of her chest. Lowering the flowers at his side, Joel was attempting to read her expression. “I started putting your files onto a separate hard drive so you didn’t lose them.”

“Thank you,” Joel muttered, his head shaking from side to side. “Why are you looking at me like that? I know that expression all too well. It’s been quite some years since I’ve seen it.”

“You left a lot of shit open Joel,” she explained with him setting the flowers and the food down on the coffee table that was in front of the couch. “And maybe I got to snooping. First of all, I thought you promised me when we were together that you would delete all of our sex videos. Yet, I found them. Very easily in your videos folder.”

“Oh,” Joel’s face went red, his chocolate-colored eyes lowering down to the floor. “I just, I uh, I liked those so much that I had a hard time letting them go. I’ve actually watched a few of them lately when I was alone because…”

“Our children aren’t stupid. What if they found the videos Joel?” she snapped at him and it had Joel exhaling loudly. “Joel?”

“They know better than to go snooping on my computer Y/N. It’s my work computer. They both have access to their own computers. They wouldn’t have found it,” Joel assured her, but she wasn’t sure that was the case. It was so easy to get a hold of that anyone could have found the videos. “I never shared them anywhere else. They are just on my computer and…”

“How about you jerking off for Lucille?” Y/N snarled and the expression Joel made looked like he had been hit in the gut with her mentioning that. “While we were married none the less.”

“I…that was…” Joel’s stuttered, his voice growing deeper when he was trying to respond to her with something he could say. “I didn’t…it was…”

“You can’t lie Joel. I did the wrong fucking thing and went through your e-mails,” she was honest with Joel who moved over toward the edge of the couch to sit down on the arm of it. Slouching forward, Joel looked like he was going to be sick. “The two of you were pretty much having an affair.”

“No, no,” Joel was quick to deny her claim, throwing her hands up in the air. “I never had sex with Lucille. Ever. We just talked sometimes and that was it.”

“You sent her a video of you masturbating Joel. I read the e-mails of you two sexting each other,” she threw her hand back toward the computer knowing that she was getting worked up over everything that she found. “We were married and you were still doing that shit. Yet you swore up and down that you never cheated on me!”

“I didn’t!” Joel defended himself, his chest aching with being caught for something he did over four years ago. “I never, ever had sex with anyone while we were married. I fucking swear. All that stuff on the internet was innocent. I never acted on it. Yeah, I sent some photos or some videos, but I swear I never had sex with anyone. You can’t think I did that because…”

“What does it matter if you didn’t fuck anyone while we were married?” she screamed back at Joel noticing the color that was pressing over Joel’s cheeks. “You got divorced so you could. You were desperate to get your dick wet by someone else and you did. And that’s why you divorced me. Now you have and you realized no one is going to put up with you like I did. No one is going to…” she paused, a saddened sound falling from her throat. Lowering her head, she felt her breathing broken and she shook her head. “No one is going to love you like I do.”

“Now that’s not fair,” Joel claimed, throwing his hand up in the air, his face scrunching up at her anger toward him. “I did some fucked up things toward the end of our marriage, but this was four years ago. I’m not the same man.”

“I know, but I just learned this Joel,” she let out something that resembled a sob and she lowered her head hating that she was getting emotional over her breaking into someone else’s private files. “I read the things you said about me to Lucille. You really did hate me.”

“I was very confused back then, but I never hated you,” Joel claimed, his raspy voice growing nervous since he was hoping to work on their relationship, yet she was doing nothing but learning about the worst parts of him from so long ago. “Please, don’t judge me for what I did back then. I know that what I did was wrong, but you have to realize that we were kids when we got together. Your teens and your twenties are when you are supposed to go nuts. Try things. Instead, I was busy being a dad. I only had sex with a few people before we got together and I thought I was missing out on things. I just…”

“You were my first Joel and I was never with anyone else,” she interrupted him, tears burning at her eyes having Joel trying to excuse what he had done. “Yet you didn’t see me desperate to go and fuck other people because I wanted to experience life.”

“You’re right. I was wrong and I see that now,” Joel agreed with her desperate to have her understand that he wasn’t like that anymore. “I know what I did was wrong. So wrong. But please understand that I’m not that man anymore. Other than Negan, the only person that I’ve been around or even interacted with is you. I don’t have that urge anymore. I had chances to sleep with other people, but I won’t take it because I want to be with you. And…Negan. I want us to work out something with the three of us.”

“I know you’re not that person Joel,” she alerted him having Joel get anxious about the way she was responding to all of this. “But what you were doing with Tess and Lucille was cheating.”

“By sending photos and videos?” Joel visibly didn’t believe that was cheating. “When we were married I never touched another woman. And I didn’t send anything to Tess until after we were separated. I didn’t cheat on you.”

“But you wanted to,” she focused on the idea of it finding herself heart broken once more by everything that she read and saw. “I think Negan would kill you if he read what I did. If he saw what I saw.”

“I agree,” Joel acknowledged with a disappointed breath. “I was stupid Y/N. What I did was wrong. But I see that now. I stopped talking to Lucille after you and I got divorced. I regret it because she was the one real friend I probably had. Those things...those things you saw were just a small part of us being bored. Did you see her last e-mail? Because that’s what our friendship was really like. We didn’t want to fuck or have sex. We were just two friends that understood each other and what the other was feeling. But then the last e-mail she wrote me, it said everything.”

“Joel, I don’t…” she was going to refuse him, but Joel got up and moved around her to open up the last video that Lucille sent him. Forcing her to watch it by turning her chair to look at the laptop. Instead of fighting Joel like she wanted to, she watched the video and he could tell that it was making her emotional. When it ended, Joel sat on the edge of the table in front of her.

“We really were just friends. You see she loved Negan and she knew I loved you,” Joel insisted going to reach out to touch her, but he reconsidered it with how upset she had been over finding everything and instead lowered his hand down at his side. “I feel horrible. I feel this terrible sense of guilt because I abandoned her and I was the one person she had been open to throughout everything. I knew that she had cancer and I never responded to that e-mail Y/N. I didn’t even see it until the other night. I dropped the ball on everything. I was an asshole and I hate the person that I became. I loved you, I hurt you and I hurt one of my only real friends.”

“I don’t even know what to say right now Joel,” she confessed to him being disappointed with the things that she learned. “You always played yourself like you were a certain kind of person and you weren’t. Back then I was so head over heels in love with you and you meant everything to me. I made you so miserable and…”

“I want to go to therapy,” Joel announced, caressing his hands in over his thighs getting her to lift her saddened eyes to his. “I want to be better for you, I want to be a better friend to Negan. I made so many mistakes and I hate it. I want to make things better, be better for all of you.”

“I don’t know,” she frowned lowering her head and he could hear that she was crying. “I need some time Joel.”

“Y/N? I’m not that guy anymore,” Joel threw his hand toward the computer seeing that she had opened his text messages with Tess so she saw their last interaction together. “You can see that you are it for me. That I have been so hooked on you that even Tess saw it. I love you. I love you so fucking much and…”

“I know Joel!” she yelled at him, getting him to lean back and swallow down hard again. “I know all of this. And right now? You should be furious with me for invading your privacy because I was wrong. I was so wrong to do that to you. And I don’t even know why I’m so fucking upset because we’re not married anymore. I’m not your wife. You’re not my husband. So this shouldn’t upset me like it does.”

“It upsets you because you love me,” Joel reasoned with her, outstretching his hands to cup her face in them tenderly. “I love you Y/N. And you love me. We’re soulmates and nothing we do is going to change that. That’s why it hurts so much. The two of us need to talk. I’ve been thinking really hard about the whole idea of the three of us being together and I…”

“Joel,” she laughed, holding her hand up in the air to stop him from continuing on. “That’s the last thing on my mind right now.”

“You don’t want that?” Joel frowned, his chest aching at the thought of her no longer wanting to be around him because of what he caused. “I thought you wanted to be with both of us. I thought you loved me and him…”

“I do,” she whimpered, getting up from the desk chair to move over toward the couch to sit down. “It’s just right now I’m not okay. I just learned that the person that I was married to wasn’t the man he led me to believe that he was and it doesn’t feel good.”

“I’m sorry,” Joel moved forward to get on his knees before her, giving her a pleading expression when her eyes finally connected with him. “Please understand that I hate the man that I was. I hate the man that I’ve been…but I know what I am now. I know how I feel about things. And I love you more than anything in this world. Other than our children of course. There is something I need to talk to you about from when I was younger. I haven’t told anyone about it and I only just told Tommy, but I think if you let me talk to you about it, you’ll understand some things about me and why I am so broken. Why…”

“I need time Joel,” she restated with a frown, lowering her head into her hand and it had her letting out a tremoring breath. “I just need to think about things, okay?”

“Y/N, please? Let us just talk things out,” Joel begged of her again, his hands grabbing a tender hold of hers. “If there is one thing I’ve realized lately it is how much I truly, genuinely love you. How my world only feels complete when you’re in it. Nothing means anything to me when I don’t have you by my side. I could have all my dreams come true from when I was a kid, but it wouldn’t matter if you weren’t there with me because I’m miserable without you. I’m sorry it took what it did for me to realize just how much you really meant to me.”

Dipping forward, Joel attempted to kiss her, but she was quick to place her hand in over the center of his chest to stop him, “I love you too Joel. And I appreciate the things that you are saying, but right now, I need some time to myself. I promise you I won’t snoop any further on your computer. I’ll let everything run and when it’s done I will make sure everything is safe. Your computer will be ready for tomorrow. Okay?”

“Y/N?” he whispered her name again wishing it wasn’t going down like this. “You’re more important than my computer. You understand that, right? It could be broken for all I fucking care because you mean more to me than anything on that computer.”

“Joel, I love you,” she claimed, her hand outstretching to caress down over the side of his face. “And you’re right. I do have to acknowledge that you aren’t the man you used to be. And I think it’s brave that you want to get help. If I’m willing to accept that Negan is a different man than he used to be, I have to be willing to accept that you are too. And I see that you are. I’m not kicking you out of my life. I want to talk to you. I want us to talk. And I’m not saying no to things, I’m just saying right now I need time to think. I can’t remember the last time I got to be alone and just think things out. And I need that.”

“I was really hoping the two of us could have dinner together and we could talk. About us and maybe our future?” Joel reasoned with her having her frown and bite down on her bottom lip. “Trust me when I tell you that being alone is the worst thing to be when you are upset because you think the worst things. Alone you are going to think negative things about my feelings for you, but I need you to know that I am a very fucked up person. I am very confused about all the emotions and the feelings that I have had. But the only thing I’m one hundred percent sure of is that you are the purest thing I’ve ever had in my life. My feelings for you? How much you mean to me. That’s the only thing I understand. How much I love you. I fight this war in my head of whether or not I’m good enough for you and the simple answer is that I’m not. I’m not good enough for you. But you are the only person that makes me want to do better. You are the only person that I want to be the best version of myself for. There are parts of me that I have hidden my whole life, things I’m not comfortable with, but I’m open to letting them shine through if I have you in my life. You are the realest thing I’ve ever known in my life. Even when nothing makes sense, the only thing that does make sense to me is you. And I know I’m just talking a whole lot right now and I reckon I’m upsetting you, but I know that the good parts of me? The parts worth keepin’? They are there because of you. I need you to know that. I can’t have you thinking otherwise. You can’t keep hurting yourself and thinkin’ things that aren’t true. I’ll give you what you want and I’ll leave. But please don’t keep beating yourself up because I can’t leave knowing that’s what you’re going to do.”

“Joel,” she slid forward on the couch, her fingers brushing into his dark hair. With a weak smirk, she leaned in to bring their lips together in a faint kiss that took his breath away when she pulled slightly back. “I hear everything you’re saying. I do.”

“Okay,” Joel frowned, his thumb dragging out across her bottom lip with sadness flooding into his big brown eyes. “Just promise me you won’t hurt yourself with your thoughts. Because I’m the biggest culprit in doing that and it does nothing good.”

“I promise we can talk about whatever it is you want to talk about,” she almost naturally kissed at the pad of his thumb having Joel suck in a sharp breath of air. “I just need some alone time right now.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel whispered, lifting up enough to press a lingering kiss against her face. Caressing at the back of her neck, Joel tipped back slightly to gaze down at her. Pressing one final tender kiss over her lips, Joel got up and pointed over toward the food and flowers. “That’s for you. Whenever you want it you can have it.”

Joel headed for the door, but stopped when he grabbed a hold of the door handle, “You are perfect. You were always perfect. And I did have an amazing life. A life people could only dream of having. The perfect wife. I wish I would have never hurt you like I did because you deserved nothing but love. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to hide anything from you anymore. I will never be that person again. I swear.”

Heading for the door, Joel grabbed a hold of it and stopped when she called out to him, “I understand you want to be honest, but don’t tell Negan what happened between you and Lucille, okay? I don’t think he could handle it.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel swallowed down hard regretting that he let it get to that place so long ago. “Thank you for not wanting me dead.”

A tense exhale fell from Y/N since Joel knew he’d probably die if Negan knew what had happened in the past. Giving Joel a nod, she slid back on the couch and pulled her legs up to her chest to hug them close, “I love you.”

“And I love you,” she replied back taking his breath away when he gave her a half-smirk. “If you ever question that Joel Miller, then you don’t have your head on straight.”

“I question it sometimes,” Joel smirked, lifting up to grasp at his jaw appreciating that he made her smile with his response. Sadness still lingered in her eyes and he knew that he couldn’t fix it right now. He just had to do for her what she asked from him and give her time. That was the best he could do.

----

This was a stupid idea and Joel knew it. Standing in the middle of a snowstorm, waiting for the door to be answered was a far shot. Especially after what he did and said. At this point he had knocked several times and rang the doorbell once.

Clinging to the bag at his side, he started to realize that his nose and ears felt like they were going to freeze off. It was cold and even though he had his jacket on, it wasn’t doing much to keep him warm. One final ring. That’s what Joel told himself. Truthfully? He should have left already, but he didn’t.

When no one came, Joel huffed loudly and felt ashamed of himself. There was some sense of hope that this would go well, but now he was just someone standing out on the porch waiting for someone that was never going to open up to him.

Turning on his heel, Joel stepped down from the porch only to hear the sound of a front door being pulled open. Looking back over his shoulder, Joel felt his throat tightening at the sight of a soaked Negan standing before him in a pair of athletic pants, holding a black t-shirt at his side. Water was dripping from his hair and he looked flustered.

“Before you say anything,” Joel spoke up, approaching Negan while he took his time putting on his t-shirt. Which only made sense since he was standing in the doorway soaking wet during the middle of a snowstorm. “I know you likely don’t want to see me, but…I’m sorry. I was an asshole. A big one.”

Slicking back his hair, Negan leaned against the doorframe and then folded his arms out in front of his chest waiting for whatever it was that Joel was going for. Lifting the bag that was in his hand had Negan’s eyes lowering to look down at it.

“I came with a peace offering,” Joel commented noticing that Negan was still silently eyeing him over now instead of the bag. Sighing loudly, Joel wondered if Y/N had called Negan and told him what happened. Maybe they talked and he learned what an asshole he had been previously. Dropping the bag down at his side, Joel released a disappointed sound and nodded back toward his truck. “I guess I’ll just leave.”

Turning away, Joel heard a whistling sound drawing him to look back again. Wiggling his fingers gesturing for Joel to follow him, Negan stepped back inside of his rental home. Carefully moving back up the sidewalk, Joel headed into the house and closed the door behind him. Negan was already at the fireplace setting a fire to warm the place up.

“I just got home and I was taking a shower,” Negan informed Joel, not even bothering to look back at Joel while he worked on the fireplace. “By how much snow you are covered in, I assume you were out there a long fucking time before you decided to ring the bell.”

Staying quiet, Joel brushed his fingers through his hair realizing that he was in fact covered in snow still. Getting up with a grunt, Negan moved across the room and motioned Joel to turn around. Allowing Negan to take his jacket off, Negan went and set his coat to dry.

“Why don’t you sit by the fire and warm up?” Negan offered, holding his hand out toward the seat that was there, but Joel simply just lifted the bag to suggest that he had something else.

“The offering might melt,” Joel explained having Negan roll his eyes and motion him toward the kitchen. Following Negan into the kitchen, Joel set the bags on the counter. “Did you eat?”

“Not yet,” Negan responded with a huff, leaning against the counter with Joel pulling something out of the bag. Holding one of the cans out to Negan had a confused smile tugging at Negan’s lips. “Canned ravioli?”

“We used to eat it all the time when we were younger,” Joel reminded Negan with Negan reading over the label of the can of food. He didn’t know why, but Joel was nervous. “I remember us eating it all the time growing up.”

“We were poor as fuck,” Negan snorted, clinging tightly to the can of food. Moving over toward the cabinets to grab two bowls for them, Negan set them down on the counter. “It’s been a while since I’ve had these, but sure? Why not?”

“There’s something else,” Joel motioned Negan to wait after he grabbed the can and returned it to the bag. Pulling the next item out of the bag, Joel turned on his heel, holding out the ice cream that he had bought. Accepting the ice cream, Negan looked it over with the lines in his forehead growing. “I know that offering you ice cream in the middle of a snowstorm seems kind of stupid right now, but…”

“This was Lucille’s favorite,” Negan commented, swallowing down hard and lifting his hazel eyes to stare out at Joel. There was an emotion that Joel couldn’t read with Negan staring out at him.

“It was,” Joel exhaled loudly, with Negan’s confusion flooding his face. “I thought maybe we could eat the Chef Boyardee and then afterwards have some ice cream to remember Lucille. Together.”

“Of course you know her favorite ice cream,” Negan frowned, setting the ice cream down on the counter. Grumbling something under his breath, Negan pinched at his nose and shrugged. “The two of you were secret best friends behind our backs after all.”

“I don’t think you would want to call me that,” Joel thought back on his relationship that he shared with Lucille when he was younger. “I wasn’t a very good friend and calling me her best friend would be giving me too much credit.”

“I don’t understand why you two had to hide that you were friends,” Negan commented, frustration visible behind his eyes. A loud gust of wind outside caught both of their attention having them look to the window to see that it was snowing even harder. “I wouldn’t have fucking cared. I would have been fine with it.”

“We were both going through things,” Joel explained, reaching back to brace himself by curling his fingers around the counter. “When one of us needed someone to talk to, we’d talk to each other. Send each other videos, voice messages, e-mails…sometimes she just needed to get things off her mind that she couldn’t talking to someone in her real life and vice versa.”

“I see,” Negan was quiet, his jaw flexing when he looked to the ice cream again. Taking time to think about everything, Negan finally shrugged his shoulders and let out an extended sigh. “We obviously have a lot to talk about.”

“I agree,” Joel breathed out thinking about the things that Y/N had found not much earlier on his computer. Then he thought about the thing that Y/N had asked of him before he left. God, this was stupid, but if he wanted to be a better man…if he wanted to be someone that proved he was changing, he needed to tell Negan what Y/N knew. Because if he didn’t, it would always eat away at Y/N around Negan and probably the same for him. “I have to tell you something.”

“Go for it,” Negan realized that Joel was likely going to be there for a while since this was the worst storm he had seen since arriving in town. There was no way that he was going to let Joel drive home in this storm. Even if it meant having him sleep on the couch.

“I did something bad,” Joel tried thinking about this whole thing. Going back and forth between things, Joel knew it was for the best to go forward with it. “I want to be more like you. I want to be honest with the people that I care about.”

“So now I’m someone you care about?” Negan scoffed, turning back toward Joel. Rolling his eyes, Joel dropped his head and rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Yes. Very much so. Yes,” Joel answered in a whisper, a lump growing at the center of his throat. Licking his lips anxiously, Joel started to realize how cold he actually was right now. Especially with his white t-shirt and his plaid button up being wet. “Which is why I’m doing this.”

Folding his arms out in front of his chest, Negan leaned back against the counter giving Joel his full attention and that truthfully made Joel a hell of a lot more nervous, “When Lucille and I were talking, most of the time it was innocent. We’d talk about our lives, our emotions, our anger…but…” Joel paused considering right now if this was the smartest idea. “There were times when we’d talk a little…heated?”

“Come again?” Negan obviously thought he didn’t hear Joel correctly with Joel clearing his throat. God, this was stupid. And Joel was truthfully preparing for the worst.

“It was originally initiated by me, so don’t think she did it, but we’d sometimes role play a bit. Talk about sex. Things that we’d do to each other if we were together,” Joel stammered fighting the urge to stop talking because he wanted Negan to know what he had done. By Negan’s expression that was not what he was expecting to hear from Joel in the least. “Things on her end were mostly innocent?”

“Mostly?” Negan repeated, his face scrunching up and by that expression? Joel knew Negan was pissed. The color was draining from Joel’s face and he realized he entirely fucked up with going forward with this, but he had to be honest. From this moment on he always swore to do so to be a better man.

“Yeah, mostly. I got an occasional risqué photo. I also did send her photos and videos of my…” Joel paused, his face getting hot when he directed his hands toward the center of his pants. “I’m telling you because Y/N was working on my computer today. She discovered some of those videos and read some of our e-mails. And I’ve decided that I don’t want to hide from people about the asshole that I used to be. I want to have the trait that you have of telling people everything.”

“You sent my wife dick pics?” Negan smirked uncomfortably with Joel nodding his head. There was a silence that filled the house and the only thing that was heard was the loud wind that was outside. “Did the two of you ever fuck?”

“No,” Joel immediately threw his hands up in the air and cleared his throat. “When I was married to Y/N, I never had sex with another person. It was only at the end of our marriage that I talked dirty, I sent some videos of me jerking off sometimes and the occasional nude photo, but I never…”

With a swift move forward, Negan’s fist connected with Joel’s face having him fall to the ground in a thud at the center of Negan’s kitchen. Groaning out, Joel rolled onto his stomach with his hands covering his face. For a skinny guy, Negan sure as hell hit fucking hard. Hitting his hand against the floor, Joel tried to count to himself. Most of the time if someone hit him, he would fight back, but he knew with this hit? He deserved it.

Ten minutes later Joel was sitting on the couch holding a pack of ice on his nose while poking at the bowl of the warmed-up ravioli that was on the coffee table with a fork. Negan was sitting beside him eating his bowl of ravioli and Joel huffed, “Did you have to hit me so hard?”

“It was a one and done,” Negan spoke with a mouthful gazing over at Joel who pulled the ice pack from his nose. Reaching out with his free hand to grab a hold of Joel’s chin, Negan observed Joel’s nose and shrugged his shoulders. “It doesn’t look too bad.”

“Oh, good. I just bled all over your floor for the first five minutes,” Joel sarcastically stammered, resting the bag of ice back over his face.

“You fucking deserved it,” Negan snorted shoving another piece of ravioli into his mouth, looking to the television where he had on a football game. “First, for what you told me. Second, because Y/N hasn’t done it to you. Third cus’ you kept suggesting I’m only doing this to get back at you when you know I was and am very much fucking in love with Y/N. And fourth because I needed to knock you back for last night. My jaw still fucking hurts from your first hit.”

Groaning out, Joel dropped his head back against the couch and adjusted the pack of ice over his face, “So she said she doesn’t want to talk to you, huh?”

“She told me that she needed space and time,” Joel recalled what Y/N had told him before she kicked him out of the house. “I don’t blame her man. She sees what I did as cheating. And in a way, I guess it was.”

“It wasn’t so much cheating as it was having an emotional relationship with other people,” Negan explained, his throat flexing with his next bite of his food. “You were going to someone else to talk to instead of coming to her and you were sharing parts of you that at the time, belonged to her.”

Dropping the ice pack into his lap, Joel scoffed and then reached for the bowl of food that Negan had made for him after he helped him clean up his face, “So you saw my wife’s parts?”

Instead of speaking, Joel looked to Negan and chewed slowly. There was a muscle that twitched in Negan’s jaw and he scoffed, “they were good parts.”

“Your wife was very attractive,” Joel agreed with Negan as he reached out to turn the volume down on the television with the remote that was on the coffee table. “Both of our wives were very attractive.”

“I still think you’re insane,” Negan claimed, finishing off his food waiting for Joel to finish with his. However, Joel was being very slow with eating since Negan assumed it hurt for him to eat. The look that Joel gave him was that of someone who wasn’t surprised but was waiting for the why. “Y/N is perfect, I don’t know how you could have left her for Tess. Not that Tess isn’t attractive, but I remember what she was like when we were younger.”

“I didn’t exactly leave her for Tess,” Joel blurt out with a mouthful, his head immediately shaking at the suggestion. “Yes, I dated Tess for a while, but I just wanted to experience life. I could say the same thing about you with Lucille. We both made idiotic decisions that looking back on don’t make too much sense.”

“Touché,” Negan scoffed getting comfortable on the couch again, dropping his head back against it.

“Then again you were never stupid enough to let Lucille go,” Joel compared the two of them out loud, “I should have never divorced her. I don’t know what I was thinking. Thinking back now I realize what a big mistake it was. When I was younger I was certain I would lose her to you and then I’m the one that lets her go.”

“Joel,” Negan slurred, his head dropping to the side to gaze out at Joel who was still poking at his food. “I don’t mean to point this out, but what you’ve told me with Lucille and what you did when I was young with Y/N, you do realize that it feels like you’re the one with a fucking vendetta against me, right? You’ve been claiming I’ve done all of this to get back at you, but…”

Muttering something under his breath, Joel shoved another piece of ravioli into his mouth and it had Negan snorting at the way he was avoiding the answer, “Way to avoid the conversation.”

“I’m not avoiding it,” Joel huffed sitting forward so he didn’t have to look at Negan even though out of the corner of his eye he could still see that Negan was staring out at him. “It’s just not true. I don’t have a…vendetta against you.”

“Mhmm…” Negan didn’t say much with Joel finishing up his food. After Joel set the bowl down on the coffee table, Negan was quick to pick them up to go clean them. With Negan gone, Joel just took that time to put the ice pack back on his face. Not long after Negan dropped back down onto the couch, patting his hands on his thighs. “I actually have a theory, but I think I’ll make you pissed if I say it.”

“Like it would be the first time you pissed me off,” Joel reasoned with Negan who gave a dramatic expression while considering it.

“Not yet,” Negan announced, contemplating his next thought. “You got really angry with me about doing the thing at the bar with your singing. Why did you get so bitchy about it? You can’t tell me that it didn’t feel good being up there. Living out your dreams. Your kids told me you went viral with me and Y/N told me about all the e-mails you have been getting with your job alone.”

“Because everything I have, I did myself,” Joel spoke honestly, his eyes sincere when he did actually look at Negan for this answer. “I don’t like people handing things to me. Yes, it felt good to be appreciated for something I used to love to do, but it would have meant more if I did it myself. I’m just that kind of person.”

“I see,” Negan took time to think about the answer. “Did anyone else contact you?”

“Other than the hundreds of e-mails that there was no way I could truly get through them all?” Joel mumbled, throwing his hands up while keeping a tight hold of the ice pack. “My laptop fucked up and that’s how Y/N got a hold of it to see all the stupid shit I did when we were nearing our divorce.”

“I just can’t picture being married to Y/N and letting her go,” Negan swayed from what they were talking about eliciting a grunt from Joel at how fast he seemed to change the topic. “I swear, just the way she looks at you—Lucille used to have the same kind of look. Where you know that she loves you. It takes my breath away.”

Watching Negan, Joel felt his throat tense up knowing that he still wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea of Negan with Y/N, “And God, with sex? I can’t get over what she’s like during sex. The way those eyes lock on yours when she’s about to give you a blowjob. There is something about the way that she gets a rise outta you first. The way she just kneels down between your legs. Those teasing touches where she palms over your thighs and down your legs to squeeze at your calves before up again. I like how she just doesn’t jump right into it, y’know? She makes it a big thing. Even when she starts to undo your belt and your pants. It’s so sexy. The want…the passion…”

“Negan?” Joel breathed out, noticing that Negan was caressing over his own thigh.

“But her actual blowjobs?” Negan growled, dramatically bobbing his head about and throwing his hands up in the air to stress his words. “God? It’s the perfect mix of firm and delicate. With the way her fingers curl around your cock. She truly worships your body. You know? Just slow, focused touches. She’s so meticulous with the way that she watches you to make sure you’re enjoying it. And the way she wets her lips with her mouth so close to your cock? Teasing the warmth of her breath over your shaft having your anticipation growing. Wanting her to take you in. And then when she starts to lick it? Treating you like you are her own personal lollipop that she is so fucking thankful for. It just leaves you begging for her to take it into her mouth. And when she plays with your balls? Christ.”

Joel felt a warmth flooding through his veins. It should have been anger, but the way Negan was saying and stressing things, Joel noticed that his heart was starting to pound inside of his chest, “By the time she finally takes you into her mouth? Fuck, you’ve already been begging for it. And the way she keeps her eyes locked on you with the warmth of her mouth just focusing on the tip? It almost feels like she tries to fucking overstimulate you to get you sensitive before she starts to really give you the blowjob. It’s incredible what she’s fucking capable of considering she’s only been with two men.”

Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Joel shifted beside Negan with him continuing on, “And when she wants to be on top? Fuck me. I feel like I’m a teenage boy all over again with how excited I am. The way it feels when she finally gets the tip inside of her? Fuck, it feels so good. With the warmth of her tight pussy just clinging to you as you stretch and fill her until she takes all of you in. The way she looks is like she is experiencing the purest form of pleasure she has ever…”

“Okay,” Joel interrupted Negan reaching for the pillow that was beside him to cover his lap with it. After all of that Joel realized he was starting to get hard just with the detailed descriptions and it made him embarrassed. “Enough.”

“Did I give you a boner?” Negan chuckled with Joel’s face flushing over. A loud rumble of laughter fell from his throat with Joel shifting uneasily beside him pushing the pillow further into his lap.

“You did it on purpose,” Joel suggested feeling embarrassed with Negan so amused with what he had done. By the way Negan was talking, Joel knew that was exactly what Negan was going for. “I am attracted to her and you’re talking about something I know very well. My body liked picturing what you were selling. And you knew it would.”

“Eh, it just tells me that you’re bisexual,” Negan alerted Joel waving his hand about showing that he had indeed done it on purpose. “I was just testing things.”

“Testing things? How do you reckon I’m bisexual with me getting a hard on from you getting me to picture the woman I love doing those things?” Joel was confused, his right eyebrow arching up in curiosity.

“Because if you didn’t get an erection from me doing that I wondered if you truly were bisexual or if you had a preference for men,” Negan explained further why he did what he had done having Joel breathing heavily.

“Why do you suddenly think I’m extremely gay?” Joel scowled, his voice sounding angrier with each passing second. “Just because you’re the one that is open to fucking other men doesn’t mean I’m like you. I’ve been with one man based on conflicting emotions that I got when we had a threesome with Y/N and you’re the one who has slept with God knows how many men.”

“Right, you only slept with me because of conflicting emotions,” Negan snorted, his eyes rolling before he stood up from the couch and paced in the living room.

“It’s amazing that the internet seems to think you are this incredible ladies’ man,” Joel stood from the couch still keeping the pillow over him with one hand to hide himself from Negan. Negan moved over to the corner of the room to get himself a drink from the alcohol shelf that was there and Joel could feel a rush of anger flooding through him. “Yet you don’t have a problem with smoking pole and you do a hell of a job at it. How have you not gotten your ass beat by your team with you being…”

“Being what? Is this where you’re gonna mock me for being attracted to men?” Negan wondered, turning on his heel taking a long sip of the alcohol before hissing out. “Go for it Joel, it’s not like I haven’t heard the gay jokes before. So go ahead. Bring them on.”

Negan wiggled his fingers and it had Joel’s jaw tensing, his eyebrows bouncing up when Negan shrugged his shoulders, “Go ahead buddy. Let’s hear it. I am attracted to men, women, people in general. So if you want attack me for it, go ahead. If that makes you feel more comfortable about your sexuality, bring it on buddy. Make daddy proud.”

Joel’s lips parted like he was about to say something and Negan tipped his head to the side, raising his free hand to place it against his ear like he couldn’t hear Joel.

“That’s what I fucking thought,” Negan snarled, finishing off the glass that he poured for himself. “You want me to feel bad about myself for that? I don’t. You act like there weren’t signs of you being bisexual when we were younger which is fucking hilarious.”

“I’ve never slept with another man before you,” Joel scoffed when Negan poured himself another drink and went over to the couch to rest against the back of it. With the way Negan was looking at him, Joel immediately shook his head and cleared his throat. “I didn’t.”

“Right because jerking off with your friends was totally straight,” Negan’s voice changed, his jaw flexing when he saw a bit of color flush into Joel’s face. “Like I’m supposed to forget the two of us jerking off all the time together. How at first we’d just sit across the room from each other. And how we gradually got closer to one another until you started jerking me off and vice versa. So fucking straight.”

Joel said nothing, just lowered his head down with his lips parting, “I don’t know what got into you to make you this raging homophobe toward yourself, but your dad is dead Joel. You don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not for a man that isn’t even here anyways. If you want to say you just got excited by the porn, go for it. But we both know you paid way more attention to me jerking off than you did the porn. And let’s not forget, it was you that touched my dick first. You wanted me to fuck you so bad back then.”

Moving around the couch, Joel stared down at Negan while he finished off his drink and set the glass down, “So tell me Joel. What kind of fantasies did alpha Joel have back then? Did you want me to fuck your ass or did you want to fuck mine? It had to kill you when we were in the showers together. Seeing me naked and knowing that you had to pretend to be straight when all you wanted was to fuck me.”

A moment later, a strong amount of force yanked Negan out of the chair pulling him up to his feet. Joel had the material of Negan’s shirt balled up in his fist when Negan chuckled and shrugged, “Go ahead Joel. Beat up the queer guy. Get that straight male rage out. Prove you’re so straight that you would hurt me just for suggesting that you had feelings for me when we were younger.”

“Fuck you Negan,” Joel shoved Negan back into his chair making it tip back slightly.

“What is wrong with having feelings for another man?” Negan snarled at Joel who went over to the edge of the couch to bury his head into his hands. “You were more attracted to me than you were her when we were younger. Yet now you’re pretending that you never had an ounce of gay in you,” Negan was angry with Joel who lifted his head up from his palm to glare out at Negan. “Don’t lie. It was me you wanted to have sex with. I always wondered why you didn’t like her. She crushed on you so hard and she didn’t make it a secret. But no, it was me that you were constantly around. I always thought I saw you sneaking looks every time we were naked around each other. It also makes sense why it infuriated you that I was saving my virginity for the woman that I was in love with. Why you always fucked with me and made me feel bad about my relationship with Y/N.”

“I wasn’t gay,” Joel stressed with a rumble of an angered sound. “I’m not gay.”

“I never said you were. I’m suggesting that you’re a bisexual struggling with your sexuality,” Negan growled, his eyes narrowing with Joel’s breathing growing louder. “Notice you don’t deny what I’m saying. It was me that you had a crush on. And then you fucked her to get back at me. It was then you realized just how fucking perfect she really was. I don’t blame you for that because she was pure and everything right in the world. But pretending you’re this straight homophobic piece of shit is ridiculous. Maybe your father was like that, but you’re not. Being attracted to me sexually doesn’t negate your feelings for her either. You can still be head over heels in love with her and still want to explore that part of you.”

Standing up from the chair that he was in, Negan moved across the living room and stepped before Joel, “You can do that because she gave us permission. She gave you permission, but you’re scared. It doesn’t upset her.”

“Yeah Negan. What do you want me to say?” Joel bit back an angered breath. “Yes, I liked you. I liked you so fucking much. And I knew I wasn’t supposed to. I knew it was wrong. When we started doing things together, you hadn’t done anything with Y/N yet because she was too fucking young. But I wasn’t stupid. While she was always in love with me, you were always in love with her and I…”

Tipping his head to the side, Joel rolled his eyes and forced himself to keep his head down while he rubbed at the back of his head, “You’re right. I always liked you. But you know just as much as I do what happened to me. So being this way with me is cruel. Stop mocking me for the way that I felt. The way that I feel because my father beat the shit outta me Negan. You know that. I had to pretend everything was fake or else I lost everything. And you dropped it just as quick. Liking you led to me getting my ass kicked by someone I loved. Someone I thought was a good man. So please stop mocking me.”

“Joel,” Negan breathed, backing off with Joel getting upset about what happened when they were younger. “That wasn’t my intention. I just want you to be able to be yourself.”

“It’s hard,” Joel stressed, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. “You saw me. You knew how much he hurt me. So please give me a break if I’m taking my time opening up to the idea of being attracted to women and…you. Because liking you got me punished. Real bad.”

“You’re right,” Negan swallowed down hard, giving Joel a firm nod. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about it like that. I’m fucking sorry.”

Nodding his head, Joel tried not to get emotional about everything when he shrugged his shoulders, “Yeah, I was jealous that you were head over heels in love with Y/N. I wanted you to like me. And I did what I did because you embarrassed me, but I’m telling you the truth when I say that falling in love with her? That wasn’t against you. I told her and she doesn’t believe me, but I questioned if I was gay or straight for a long time. I just knew that I wasn’t right. And then this one time in class I was talking to our friends on the team and I saw her smile while talking to someone in the front row. It took my breath away. And then when we slept together? The way it felt, the way she looked at me? I fell immediately. So it wasn’t to hurt you. I felt things for you. I feel things for you. Things I wasn’t allowed to follow through with, but I fell deeply in love with her. And that wasn’t a vendetta against you.”

“I believe you,” Negan stammered, his hazel eyes narrowing with him caressing down over the side of his own face. “I saw the way that the two of you looked at one another. I’m not stupid. Nor am I blind. But the Lucille stuff?”

“We got carried away,” Joel didn’t have a good enough reason for what happened with them back then. “We were close, she was beautiful. I don’t know what to tell you Negan. We both have good taste I guess? It wasn’t about having a vendetta. I was always jealous of you Negan, we both know that. But…”

Stepping before Joel, Negan’s eyes locked with his and he outstretched his hands. Placing them in over the center of Joel’s chest, Negan caressed down over the lengths of his abdomen. Stopping at Joel’s belt, Negan started to work it open having Joel swallowing loudly, “I know Joel…”

Sliding his hand over the front of Joel’s pants, Negan cupped Joel in his palm with Joel watching closely. Closing the distance between them, Negan’s breath was warm against the side of his neck and it had Joel’s eyes coming to a tight close. Working open Joel’s pants, Negan was rough in the way he got the material of Joel’s jeans and his boxer briefs down in the front allowing Joel’s rigid manhood to bounce free from its confines. Firmly curling his fingers around Joel’s shaft had Joel groaning out when Negan’s started caressing over his body. Sheathing Joel’s cock again and again had Joel panting against the side of his neck.

“You don’t have to be mad at yourself for liking me. It was never a problem that you did,” Negan bit at Joel’s chin area before pressing kisses up over Joel’s jawline. “Your dad was an asshole. You’re not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re so angry at the world because you were never truly allowed to thrive mainly because of your parents. Stop being so angry Joel and allow yourself the things that you want. Together we can all work to break down this wall you had to put up to hide behind. Behind it’s helping no one. Y/N is okay if you like me. I’m okay with it. Allow yourself to be okay with it.”

“I’m such a fucking mess,” Joel confessed, sucking in a sharp breath of air with Negan starting to pepper kisses against the side of his neck.

“Yeah? So am I,” Negan scoffed, his hand continuing to caress over Joel’s flesh, “You should just allow yourself to be pampered by the two people you want most in the world.”

“You don’t understand,” Joel winced, biting down on his lip. It felt like the room was spinning around him and he had to close his eyes.

“I understand why you think you need to do what you are,” Negan stated pulling his hand from Joel’s length having Joel whine when he did it. “I just don’t agree with your decisions.”

Dropping carefully to his knees, avoiding hurting his bad knee, Negan grabbed a firm hold of Joel’s pants tugging them down. Stumbling to stay on his feet, Joel breathed heavily with his eyes lowering down to watch Negan. Pushing up at Joel’s button down and his white t-shirt, Negan kissed at the area below Joel’s belly button. Compared to what he was used to, it felt different with Negan’s short beard teasing at his flesh.

Palming down in over Joel’s hips elicited a sharp exhale from Joel. Sliding his hands around Joel’s hips, Negan grasped at Joel’s fleshy bottom and slid his hands down to the back of Joel’s thighs before up again. Nipping at the area just below Joel’s belly button had his hand lifting to sink into Negan’s thick hair.

“Please,” Joel stammered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. Tipping his head back, Negan dragged his bottom lip up the length of Joel’s hip toward his lower abdomen again. The way Joel’s big brown eyes were focused on him made Negan smile. “Please Negan, I need this.”

“Look at you begging,” Negan muttered arrogantly, his eyes narrowing with Joel sounding and looking incredibly desperate. Giving a single nod, Negan adjusted his knee so he’d be more comfortable. Each stroke of Negan’s hand over Joel’s cock grew quicker going from base to tip. Feeling Joel slightly bouncing his hips forward with every movement of Negan’s hand over his uncut cock made an amused rumble fall from Negan. “See, if you just accept yourself as you are, you don’t have to worry about begging me to suck your cock Joel. You can just have it and not feel guilty.”

Joel’s face grew tense when Negan extended his tongue out, tapping Joel’s cock against the wet, warmth of it. Involuntarily, Joel’s hips flexed bringing his hips closer to Negan who snickered against his flesh. The sensation drew chills down Joel’s spine and he tugged harder at Negan’s hair.

Catching onto the frustration, Negan started to press wet kisses over the tip of Joel’s swollen member. Every caress of his lips over Joel’s sensitive flesh grew stronger until Negan took Joel into the warmth of his mouth. One hand squeezed at Joel’s hips while the other stroked over Joel’s shaft. Together his hand and mouth worked in unison to provide Joel with as much pleasure as he could. Taking Joel further back into his throat had Joel’s head tipping back with a raspy moan falling from him. Negan was taking his time letting his tongue tease over every ridge of Joel’s cock and he felt like this was big for Joel since he was allowing himself to be more open to the person he wanted to be.

Wet sounds filled the air as Joel started to unhurriedly thrust his hips forward toward Negan’s throat. By the pressure that was over his hip, Joel knew that Negan wanted to control this tempo, but it was almost instinctive to meet those movements.

Even though Negan knew Joel was excited to explore this whole thing, when Joel started to thrust his hips just a bit too hard it had Negan pulling back with a wet popping sound. It drew out a disappointed grunt from Joel who was breathing loudly.

Unexpectedly, Joel reached down to grab a firm hold of Negan. How easily he pulled Negan up onto his feet surprised Negan. Balling Negan’s shirt up into his grasp had Negan falling forward bringing them closer together.

Eagerly, Joel moved forward to bring their lips together in a forceful kiss that shocked Negan. Grunting against Joel’s mouth, Negan realized there was some sense of Joel trying to show dominance in the moment, but he was too focused on that instead of allowing things to feel good.

“Dial it down a notch,” Negan instructed, pulling his mouth away from Joel to drag his thumb across Joel’s bottom lip. Collecting the dampness that was there, Negan shook his head and hushed Joel. “We’re both alpha males, but we don’t have to beat the shit out of each other to make a point. Slow down. For fucks sake. Allow yourself to enjoy things.”

“I’m new to this,” Joel defended himself, taking Negan’s thumb between his lips to flick his tongue out against the tip of it. A deep rumble of a moan escaped Negan with his eyelids growing heavy. Fuck, he wondered if Joel realized how much that turned him on.

“You can’t be this rough with Y/N, are you?” Negan inquired finding himself completely impressed when Joel took his thumb into his mouth. Trying to keep it together, Negan felt his heart skip a beat with the way that Joel was sucking faintly at his thumb and then nibbled at the tip.

“Sometimes,” Joel breathed loudly, his eyes heavy with lust in the moment.

“Well chill the fuck out,” Negan snickered looking down between them. Shoving Joel had him tripping over his own pants that were hooked around his ankles. Falling back onto the couch, Joel grunted with Negan shaking his head. “There is a storm outside, we have time to explore this.”

Pulling at his own shirt, Negan raised it above his head stretching out his long torso when he tossed the material aside on the floor. Adjusting the waistband of his black athletic pants, Negan watched as Joel fumbled to open his button-down shirt that he was wearing.

“How is this supposed to work?” Joel gulped down with a pant, struggling to get the material from his body. “I don’t know what to do with this whole poly thing.”

“It’s the three of us sharing each other mutually. No anger. No jealousy. She can have you or me. You can have me or her. And so on,” Negan stated, sucking at his bottom lip. With a crooked smirk, Negan knew that this would be a hard thing to agree upon, but he felt like it was the most positive outcome for them all. “That way, we’re all happy.”

“And she’s okay with that?” Joel inquired grabbing the bottom of his t-shirt. Pulling it from his body, Joel tossed it aside. Going to work off his pants, Joel let out a tremoring breath when Negan motioned him to stop. Lowering down, Negan grabbed a hold of the material and tossed them to the ground with a thud.

“Have you been listening to her?” Negan wondered, holding his finger up to motion Joel to wait. Moving down the hallway, Joel wondered if he should have been following Negan who soon returned to the living room after shoving something into his pocket. Stepping before Joel had Joel’s chocolate brown eyes lifting up to stare at Negan. Shakily leaning forward, Joel’s fingers made contact with the side of Negan’s hurt leg and it had Negan sucking in a sharp breath of air. Rubbing his cheek in over Negan’s thigh through the material of his pants, Joel closed his eyes with Negan stroking his fingers through his thick hair, “I think once you learn to accept who you are, you’re going to love yourself so much more Joel.”

“I don’t even know who I am,” Joel admitted with a tremoring breath. It was true. There was so much about himself that Joel didn’t understand.

“And that’s what we have to work on,” Negan hummed stroking his fingers over the back of Joel’s neck. “First, you have to stop hating yourself for things you can’t control. Feelings you’ve had since you were a teenager.”

“I hate myself for just about everything,” Joel confessed, tipping his head back to meet Negan’s eyes with his big puppy dog stare. “You don’t understand…”

“I do. I understand hating yourself very much,” Negan swept his thumb in over Joel’s jaw realizing how eager Joel was to have Negan touch him. “That’s not a new feeling for me Joel. It’s been there my whole life too.”

Clasping Joel’s jaw between his thumb and index finger, Negan bit down on his bottom lip and nodded toward the couch, “Lay down with your head resting on the arm of the couch.”

Obeying, Joel lazily stretched out on the couch doing as he was instructed. His mouth went dry with Negan palming over the front of his pants gazing over Joel’s body, “Are you a top or a bottom?”

“Neither, I like both,” Negan responded with a wrinkle of his nose. “Both have their merits and both feel really fucking good when done right. Both fucking take a certain talent. Focus. Relaxation. Preparation. Each provides different kinds of pleasure.”

Moving to the couch, Negan got on his knees over Joel hovering over Joel’s chest. Pushing down the waistband of his athletic pants in the front, Negan allowed his semi-erect cock to pull from the material. Touching himself, Negan felt a rush of excitement at the way Joel’s dark eyes gazed over his body.

“You seemed to like both the other night,” Negan reminded Joel of their time together in New York. The reminder had Joel’s face growing hot with red flooding into his cheeks at the reminder of them sleeping together. “Wet your lips.”

Glaring up at Negan, Joel was dramatic in the way he did it and Negan sank his fingers firmly into Joel’s hair, “This dick isn’t gonna suck itself.”

Outstretching his arm, a firm smack filled the air followed by a groan from Negan after Joel hit him. Wincing, Negan rubbed at the side of his face. There was a pinging sensation from the hit and Negan rolled his eyes. Returning the gesture, Negan smacked at the side of Joel’s face. It was enough power to make a point with Joel hissing beneath him.

Bracing his left hand in over the arm of the couch, Negan licked his lips while leaning forward. Curling his fingers at the base of his own cock, Negan placed the tip of his manhood at Joel’s lips hearing Joel’s breathing getting louder. Parting his lips, Joel allowed Negan to push his length into the warmth of his mouth. Circling Negan’s girth with his lips, Joel’s eyes closed with him attempting to deliver to Negan what he liked with a blowjob.

“That’s it,” Negan hummed starting to thrust his hips toward the warmth of Joel’s wet mouth allowing his cock to grow fully rigid with Joel pleasuring him. “Don’t forget to use your tongue.”

Tipping his head back, Negan moaned with Joel listening to his direction. This was what Negan assumed was Joel’s first time really giving a blowjob, so it really wasn’t that bad for a first time. Dropping his head back, Joel’s wet lips kissed at the shiny tip of Negan’s cock getting a growl from the man over him. “You have nice lips, y’know that?”

“I got a lot of nice things,” Joel breathed with a weak smirk pressing another wet kiss at the underside of Negan’s erection. Getting up from over Joel, Negan stood at the side of the couch. Digging into his pocket, Negan pulled out a condom and some lube which had a breath catching in Joel’s throat. Holding out the condom, Negan waited for Joel to grab it. Accepting the condom, Joel swallowed down hard with Negan kicking out of his athletic pants. Holding onto the condom, Joel considered it for a while until lifting the condom back up toward Negan. “I want you to be the top.”

“Are you sure?” Negan inquired, his eyebrows furrowing after taking the package back from Joel. Setting it aside, Negan wiggled his fingers motioning Joel to lay on his stomach. “I need to prep you like last time.”

Carefully rolling over, Joel got comfortable and let out a long exhale. The warmth of Negan moving in over him had his eyes coming to a tight close. Negan was cautious with the way that he moved over Joel starting with caressing over Joel’s shoulders to get him relaxed, “That’s not what I thought you were going to focus on.”

“You wanna loosen up all around before this,” Negan commented working on Joel’s tight muscles. Grumbling Joel buried his head further down enjoying the way that it felt. Sinking into the couch, Joel realized that it had been a very long time since he had anyone doing this for him.

“You keep doing this and I’m going to fall asleep,” Joel alerted Negan with a tired breath finding himself getting too comfortable. “What happens after we do this?”

“What do you want to happen?” Negan inquired, the warmth of his breath hovering in over Joel’s shoulder. Depositing faint kisses there, Negan listened to the sounds that Joel was making to see if he seemed comfortable. “Depends on you I guess. I love Y/N, it’s not gonna change. She means everything to me. I’m still gonna be attracted to you. I’m open to trying something between the three of us. See where it goes.”

Once Negan started caressing over Joel’s lower back it had Joel looking over his shoulder. A chill ran up Joel’s spine with Negan’s hands dragging down over Joel’s sides, “Are you safe with sex?”

“I’d like to think I was safe,” Negan responded reaching out to grab the bottle of lubrication that he had brought with him. “I don’t ever try to hurt anyone, but you never know what someone is comfortable with.”

“Not what I mean,” Joel turned his upper half, his jaw flexing when Negan started to squeeze at Joel’s ass. An involuntary moan escaped Joel’s throat with the way that Negan was touching him, surprising even Joel in that moment. “I mean, do you wear condoms?”

“I have only slept with three people without a condom,” Negan alerted Joel with a wrinkle of his nose having Joel lower back down onto his stomach. “I also am checked out all the time by a healthcare professional with my job.”

“Lucille, Y/N and…?” Joel waited for the answer having Negan snort when he heard it. “What?”

“Are you forgetting the other night all together?” Negan stammered, his eyes narrowing with Joel turning onto his side to look back at him. “You were kind of eager at the apartment the other night. I was in my pajamas, you didn’t have condoms, it was meant to be a family trip…”

“Oh,” Joel’s lips were parted as Negan made an amused expression. “I didn’t think about that. Why are you doing it now?”

“Because practicing safe sex is a good thing?” Negan suggested, his right eyebrow arching in curiosity. “Not saying that you’re dirty or anything, but…”

“Got it,” Joel retorted with a rumble, his head lowering with Negan continuing to palm at his fleshy bottom.

“I kind of assumed after the threesome it was okay…” Negan’s words lingered and the sound of the lid of the lube opening was heard. Breathing loudly, Joel’s eyes squeezed shut tighter with the sensation of the cool liquid dripping down over his body. “What about you?”

“Just…uh…two,” Joel breathed against his arm, biting down on his bottom lip. It sounded kind of ridiculous thinking about it, but he never trusted someone enough to do that with them. Especially when he already had two children, “And you’re the second so…”

“Boy scout,” Negan joked, bringing his palm down firmly over Joel’s ass provoking a wince from his throat. “You have such a nice ass.”

“Jealous?” Joel smirked with an amused rumble. Another firm smack over his bottom caused him to grunt this time.

“I have a nice ass too, mine just isn’t so big,” Negan defended himself with a growl, circling his fingers at Joel’s pucker having Joel clench up before him. “Relax or nothing will feel good. If this isn’t what you want, I’ll happily switch with you.”

Doing as he was told, Joel bit down on his bottom lip with Negan’s fingers pressing into him. It had Joel wrapping his arms around the throw pillow that was there. Truth was? Negan was very gentle. And probably very good at getting him prepared. Most people could only be so lucky to have Negan be the first person they slept with in this case.

“I think Y/N wishes you would have been her first,” Joel admitted getting a quiet laugh from Negan behind him. Warmth pressed in over the side of his neck as Negan’s lips descended down over it. “You’re good at what you do.”

“If I would have been her first, I was a virgin then too,” Negan reminded Joel with a smirk, nipping gently at the skin over Joel’s neck. “It might have been careful and gentle, but it probably wouldn’t have been great. Lucille let me know that I could use some work.”

A low rumble of a moan escaped Joel and he turned his head a certain way so Negan could pamper the side of his neck with kisses, “But you knew Y/N’s body better than Lucille’s.”

“Regardless, no one is perfect their first time,” Negan defended, nuzzling his nose at the area right behind Joel’s ear. Shudders flooded Joel’s body and he sucked in a sharp breath of air. “What was meant to happen, happened.”

Arching his back, Joel let out another moan with Negan’s fingers preparing him with finesse. The sensation of Negan’s fingers leaving his body had him breathing unevenly, panting even. A force pushed at his body to get him back onto his back with Negan hovering over him. Grabbing the condom again, Negan worked open the package and then took his time putting the condom on. Pouring a decent amount of lube into his hand, Negan worked it over his body and reached for Joel’s legs. Placing them in over his shoulders, Negan adjusted Joel the way he wanted him. Beneath him Joel seemed nervous and it had Negan pausing.

“This isn’t your first time,” Negan reminded Joel with a smirk reaching between them to line his body up with Joel’s. “You obviously liked it enough to want it a second time.”

“I wasn’t looking at you last time,” Joel countered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat with his right hand lowering to loosely hook his fingers around Negan’s wrist.

“Well I’d rather look at your pretty face with those big brown eyes,” Negan pushed forward, sinking some of his length into Joel’s tight opening. Exhaling loudly, Joel lifted his head and Negan shook his head. Allowing Joel to keep his fingers wrapped around his wrist, Negan braced his other hand on the arm of the couch. Starting off slow, Negan’s lips parted with his eyes rolling back to a close. A muscle flexed in Negan’s jaw and Joel was more so focused on Negan’s face rather than how things felt. Once things started to get a bit faster and harder with the smacking of their skin, Joel found himself moaning involuntarily with his head dropping back. “Is this everything you wanted when we were younger?”

“Negan,” Joel frowned hating that they were going back to their earlier conversation.

“Stop pretending you didn’t want this,” Negan demanded, his hips smacking harder up against Joel drawing gasps from his throat. “Is this what you pictured?”

“You’re hotter now,” Joel winced, his fingers squeezing around Negan’s wrist.

“You’re hotter now,” Negan repeated with a wrinkle of his nose, amused with the response he got out of Joel. “You prefer the alpha male as opposed to the twink?”

“Yes,” Joel swallowed down hard, his eyes rolling back to a close with the sensations Negan was drawing out of him. Dropping his other hand, Joel curled his fingers around his cock and caressed in tempo with Negan’s thrusts. “I just liked your personality. I liked how you didn’t take…”

Joel moaned out loudly, his hand pumping faster over his length with Negan plunging into him time and time again, “anyone’s shit.”

“The fact I had a big cock didn’t hurt either,” Negan mused with a grunt, pressing faint kisses at Joel’s leg.

“I wouldn’t have cared what your cock looked like,” Joel growled having Negan drop Joel’s legs down so he could crawl in closer to Joel. Bracing Joel’s thighs over his hips Negan made sure he could bring their lips together in a heated kiss. Brushing his tongue out against Joel’s had Joel groaning into his mouth. “Harder.”

“No,” Negan shook his head knowing that he was already moving as hard and fast as he thought Joel could take being new to this whole thing. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You’re infuriating,” Joel curled his fingers around the back of Negan’s neck to bring their mouths together again in a powerful movement with both of them fighting for some kind of dominance in the kiss. Pushing his hand aside, Negan curled his fingers around Joel’s length now pumping his hand over Joel’s distended flesh. “Fuck…”

“There we go…” Negan panted, with Joel dropping his head back against the pillow. Hovering his lips in over Joel’s, Negan felt the first splash of Joel’s cum at his lower abdomen followed by the next few ropes of it covering both his and Joel’s chests. Caressing him until the very end of his orgasm, Negan then focused on his own release working to build himself up until he finally did come with a roar. Allowing his hips to come to falter, Negan pressed a lingering kiss over Joel’s lips and then carefully pulled away. Working the condom from his body, Negan disappeared into the kitchen to throw it away. Returning he saw that Joel’s abdomen was sinking and rising repeatedly from breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. “Why didn’t you just tell me you liked me?”

Tapping at Joel’s legs, Negan dropped down at the other side of the couch and stroked his fingers over the length of them. Waiting for an answer, Negan made a dramatic expression with Joel rolling his eyes, “You were head over heels in love with Y/N and vice versa. You two were my best friends. And I knew that she had a crush on me. I don’t know. It was embarrassing. “

“Why be a dick?” Negan was still looking for answers from their past. Joel brushed his fingers through his wet, messy hair to slick it back. “You know what Y/N meant to me.”

“I was the most popular kid in school. I had an image to uphold and you embarrassed me. They expected me to do something to get back at you,” Joel reasoned with Negan, throwing his hands up in the air. “I didn’t expect to fall in love with Y/N, but I did. Very much so.”

“I know,” Negan sighed loudly, curling his fingers around Joel’s foot to give it a tight squeeze.

“I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me for what I’ve done,” Joel confessed with a saddened expression. Sweeping his fingers over the inside of Negan’s thigh had Negan’s head tipping to the side. “I had so many chances and I blew them Negan.”

“You have two things going for you that will never keep her away from you,” Negan pointed out, curling his other arm around the back of his neck to get more comfortable. Joel waited for the answer and Negan clearly thought it was obvious. “Liz and Peter.”

“She loves you though,” Joel claimed with a shake of his head.

“And I love her,” Negan stated firmly with his dimples becoming more prominent. “Nothing is gonna change that for me. That doesn’t negate her feelings for you though. She always told me that she still loved you and I always told her that I was okay with that.”

“I am such a fuckup though,” Joel realized feeling guilty that everything played out the way it did.

“You weren’t always,” Negan noted remembering what the two of them were like when they were younger. “Everyone in this town wanted to fucking have a relationship like the two of you. Losing your parents hurt your mental health and you’re doing your best. Now you’re aware of your actions and it’s up to you to work those feelings out. Test the waters and make things right.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Joel admitted, sliding further down on the couch so that way they were closer to one another.

“Nothing is easy in this life Joel,” Negan vowed, his free hand placing in over the center of his chest that was still damp with sweat. “You just have to do your best and that’s all you can do.”

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis @jennydehavilland

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im-so-normal-iswear · 20 hours ago

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helloooo, can we have shadow x a reader who tends to get sick a lot maybe?

A/n: I really wanted to make this angsty, but then I remember I'm really bad at writing angst 💔💔

Shadow x reader who gets sick often

"Hmph, you ahould take better care of yourself"

Shadows voice rang as he turned the corner with medicine and water in hand. You got sick often. Today you were immobilized in bed from how sick you were.

"I try to." Was all you could say before going into another coughing fit and sighing.

He set the water down, opening the medicine and shaking some out onto his hand.

"Take this"

He handed them to you, shakily you took it with one hand, grabbing the glass of water and taking a sip as you swallowed the pills, before slumping back on the bed.

He gave you a short glance before turning away, muttering under his breath.

Not that he would ever admit it, but he really did hate how you seemed to always be sick. Sure he cares enough to help you out but it irritates him.

It reminds him too much of her. Maria.

Don't get it wrong, he doesnt view you as her, but he cant help but note how similar you are to her in those ways. Small comparisons here and there.

Its not even you getting sick so much that truely bothers him, its how nonchalant you are about it that irks him. Thats the real similarity he makes internally alot.

When your sick, wether or not its on the more serious flus, or just a common cold, youre always insisting your fine, waving off any and all questions, or concerns unless you cant get out of bed. It really irritates him.

He knows. He knows that not a single time your sick will amount to how serious marias illness was, but he still finds a bit of comfort in being able to take care of you when your like this. Being able to help you get better, something he couldn't do for Maria.

Shadow sat down on the chair beside your bed, arms crossed and his gaze fixed firmly on the floor. He wasn’t one for lingering, but he wouldntvoeave, not yet at least. The sound of your heavy breathing filled the room, and despite how many times he’d heard it before, it still made something in his chest tighten uncomfortably.

He told himself it wasn’t a big deal. You were stubborn, yes, and entirely too casual about your health, but you’d get better. You always did. He was here to ensure tthat though in the back of his mind he saw Maria there in that bed, just for a moment.

It was Maria all over again. The way she’d insist she was fine. The way she’d laugh, even as her hands trembled. The way her light was slowly extinguished while he could do nothing but stand by and watch.

His fists clenched.

"Shadow?"

Your voice broke through the haze of his thoughts. He looked up, startled, and immediately schooled his features into something neutral. You were watching him with a tired expression, your head tilted slightly.

"You’re zoning out," you murmured, pulling the blanket up higher as a shiver ran through you. "What’s on your mind?"

"Nothing," he replied curtly, his tone sharper than he intended. "Just… rest."

You didn’t argue, though your brows furrowed in concern. Closing your eyes, you nestled further into the covers, your breathing steadying as exhaustion overtook you.

Shadow watched you for a moment longer before standing abruptly. He needed air.

The hallways were quiet, the faint patter of rain against the windows the only sound accompanying him as he paced. His mind raced, memories he’d long since buried clawing their way to the surface.

"Shadow, it’s okay! I’m fine, really.”l"

Maria’s voice echoed in his ears, so vibrant, so full of life despite the context. He remembered the way she’d beam at him, even when confined to the cold, sterile walls of the ARK. Her insistence that she was "okay" had been both infuriating and inspiring, her strength something he admired and resented in equal measure.

He knows your not maria. But seeing you in bed sick and unmoving...

He couldn’t let the past repeat itself.

#shadow the ultimate lifeform #shadow x reader #shadow the hedgehog #sick reader #reader who gets sick often #sonic the hedgehog x reader #shadow the hedgehog x reader #fanfic #oneshot

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unholyhelbig · 23 hours ago

Note

Caitvi Prompt: Caitlyn is head Park Ranger and deals with an unruly deputy Ranger Vi who has recently become unruly and animalistic. Caitlyn doesn’t understand the change in attitude until Vi turns up naked and injured on her cabins doorstep.

Title: Shoot to Kill

Ship: Werewolf!Vi x Park Ranger!Caitlyn

Wordcount: 5019

Summary: It's been months since a brutal attack took both Cassandra Kiramman and Powder Lane from the world. Caitlyn and Vi handle their grief differently, but something just isn't right with Vi, and things can't be ignored forever.

Warnings: Typical werewolf gore, blood, bullets, canon-typical violence, animal attack, shooting, self-sacrifice, almost nsfw but not quite there yet, horrible spelling, I don't beta read we know this.

[A/n: I went overboard here. I love arcane, I love werewolves, what were we expecting when someone sent me this prompt? Anyway. You know I bad I wanted to make this full smut? SO fucking bad but it didn't seem like the time for them to fuck. So they didn't. Do people even like my Arcane stuff? Fuck no, but this is for me.]

Main Masterlist | Read my stuff on AO3 | Leave Requests

Blood filled Vi’s mouth with a metallic density that was not unfamiliar but was entirely unwelcome. A low tide of a headache was pulling at her temples, her mouth a cottony type of dry that she couldn’t swallow away.

She was running late. Even in the darkness of her cabin, she knew that she was pushing it by the way the daylight filtered through the slatted blinds. Caitlyn was going to have her hide. She’d been warned twice already, pulled into the office that smelled too much like lavender and wood polish.

Vi shoved her feet unceremoniously into her boots. She swished a shot of peppermint schnapps around her mouth until it was warm and frothy before swallowing and dashing out the door. Vi didn’t’ bother to tuck her shirt in and do up her laces.

Showing up was enough. It had to be enough. There was dirt and blood under her nails and her skin was taut with sweat. She probably smelled rank with the outdoors and her body ached something fierce from the night before. Vi didn’t’ feel comfortable looking in the mirror before she hauled herself to the main cabin.

The state of her was not normal. It was not human. But she was present and that was all Ranger Kiramman was going to get on this balmy Wednesday morning.

Doubt, mixed with a decidedly solid amount of dread, swirled with a fullness in Vi’s stomach. She was full, a feeling that she did not enjoy being. She had eaten last night, something big that left a horrible nausea clinging to the inside of her stomach. A heat in the back of her throat and slicking the inside of her stomach.

She crashed unceremoniously through the door of the main cabin. The annoying brass bell gave her tardiness away as it deposited her into the gift shop. Caitlyn’s deadly oxford stare leveled her with precision, but she never faltered in her delivery.

Loris steadied her with his hulking size, taking up just as much space as the bookshelf that he stood near. He regarded her with his quiet amusement and low huff as she attempted to shove her shirt past her belt without drawing more eyes to herself.

“As I was saying.” Caitlyn’s voice was cutting, slicing through whatever resolve Vi had left. “The rest of the week and into next is a fire ban. There will be push back. In zone’s seven and eight, especially. Overton and Dunne, I want you positioned there around the clock. Do not hesitate to hand out red notices. One spark and the whole forest could go up. Am I clear?”

A murmured chorus of agreements rung out. A burn notice would draw attention away from Vi, at least for now. It worked Caitlyn’s nerves like a string instrument. Anger still simmered in the stare that moved her way.

“As for the rest of you, you know your posts, and you have your assignments. Keep your walkies on channel seven and signal if you need anything. Remember that laws are not suggestions and safety is key.” She scanned the lot of Rangers, brows furrowed and nose wrinkled in the way that Vi found oddly endearing. “Dismissed.”

Loris shoved her shoulder with enough force to shove a burp into her mouth, one that was not pleasant. She nearly vomited up whatever she had torn through last night, but luckily swallowed it back down. He wandered over to the busted coffee maker where he would linger long enough for Vi to take her verbal lashing.

If it were up to her, she’d slip into the woods and take her usual post at the North end of the park, checking permits until her fingers bled. It would be an easy day as long as she could nurse her headache. She and Loris could squeeze into the same box and answer the same questions from the same brand of tourists until it was time to go back to her cabin.

The pinching floral scent that often invaded Vi’s lungs seemed to surround her in an instant. It used to be something she enjoyed, but as of late, it was something she couldn’t’ control. It was overwhelming in a way that was too much. It made her stomach roll and her throat tighten. If she were to vomit, it would be blood and bones and bile.

“Violet, I want you to take a walk with me.”

Caitlyn’s voice was unbelievably tender for the situation at hand. She was expecting a verbal scrouge. Even her features were worked into something calm. Vi was too exhausted to fight back. After her little side quest last night, she wanted to curl into a ball under her blankets and sleep for an eternity.

“I uh, have to assist Loris with the morning rush of tourists, don’t I?”

She shook her head. “I’ve stationed Steb. You don’t look like you feel well. Follow me.”

“God, you’re taking me out back to shoot me like old yeller.”

Caitlyn snorted and held the screen door open. Vi walked through it first, taking in another lungful of Caitlyn’s floral scent. She wish it were comforting. She wished her friend, the woman she used to trust with anything in the world, brought her some degree of relief.

She hadn’t in months, and they both felt it. Bone deep.

They walked for a few minutes. Until the commotion of the other rangers dispersing faded into nothing. The forest offered nothing to Vi lately. She hadn’t noticed it at first; the lack of sound. Crickets and morning birds and small animals that created a cacophony of noise that she had always taken for granted before.

Caitlyn’s breathing had stuttered, a nervous tick she developed at a young age that Vi picked up months ago when her hearing had risen to a deafening level. She shoved her hands into her pockets and softened her gaze, dipping her head. Attempting to show submission. She’d never meant to make Caitlyn nervous.

She removed her green nightcap, working her fingers around the wide brimmed edge. Another nervous habit. Vi could smell the sweetness of her sweat, something she hadn’t been privy to since the funeral when her nose was pressed so close to the girls pulse point that the smell had coated every inch of her.

Vi was so close that she could hear the rush of her blood and the pounding of her heart. Her mouth filled with saliva so rapidly that she couldn’t keep up with swallowing. She’d nearly drooled at the thought of opening her maw and tearing Caitlyn’s jugular out with one clamp of her jaw.

Shoving her away and storming from the procession was attributed to grief. Anger at nature for having the audacity of taking them in the first place. Caitlyn and Vi must have been hurting so much that any action they committed was acceptable for a time.

Six months later and people still asked how they were doing. Caitlyn would tell them that she was fine. Vi would tell them that she felt like shit. Both would smile sadly. Caitlyn threw herself into her inherited role of Head Ranger and Vi drank on nights that she couldn’t forget and leaned into nights that she didn’t remember.

“They expect me to strip you of your title.” Caitlyn sighed out in one hot breath that splayed against Vi’s cheeks. “Those rangers in there… know I have a soft spot for you, Vi. Anyone else and I would have done far worse. They’d be out of a job.”

Caitlyn frowned and plopped down onto the pebbled shore next to a stream. Run-off from one of the glaciers at the top of the peak. The water was crisp and clear. Vi would dip her fingers into it sometimes, trying to disturb the flow and shock some sense into herself. She lowered herself carefully next to her friend. The only girl who had ever made her ache this viciously.

“I didn’t mean to put you in that position, Cupcake.”

“You’re hurting.”

“So are you.”

Vi swallowed something thick in her throat, picked up a smooth stone and dug her fingers into it as if she could shave off decades of shaping. Trout colored eyes traced the curve of Caitlyn’s side profile as she clenched and unclenched her jaw. She drew in careful breathes. The sound of the stream drowned out the silence around them.

Cassandra Kiramman’s entrails had been gnawed into paste after her stomach was torn open unceremoniously. Vi remembers the squelch of flesh and the snap of her sternum. Her screams had turned into a drowned gurgle before there was nothing.

The creature, after having gotten the taste for the richness of Kiramman blood, had gone for the throat and mercifully took Cassandra out of her misery. Vi watched the light leave her eyes. Something she’d seen slowly dim in Caitlyn’s over the months.

Now, she clenched her own eyes shut. “I can’t leave these woods, Cait. They’re all I know. I’ll try harder.”

“I know you will. I didn’t come out here to, what did you say? Shoot you like old yeller. I might be in charge of you, Violet, but I’m also your friend.” Her voice wavered on the word, stuck in her throat as much as she allowed. “I want you to talk to me.”

She gave her a sad grin “I talk to you all the time, Cupcake.”

“You know what I mean.” Cait’s eyebrow twitched. She hesitated, something she never did. Not in all the years that Vi had known her. But it was only for a moment. Her hand slipped into Vi’s, dislodging the stone she had wanted to thread into putty. “You can talk to me.”

Vi felt her throat tighten and a dampness come to her eyes that she quickly blinked away. Whatever she ate last night threatened to make a third return. She nodded, afraid to speak, but it seemed to be enough to Caitlyn. She gave her hand another reassuring squeeze. It was warm and solid.

Greif weighed heavily between them both. But the lead that welded Vi’s jaw shut was more than subconscious. If she could help it, and she could, Caitlyn would never find out about the animal that shredded her mother.

It had been closed casket for a reason.

They buried an empty one for Jinx. Vi had been in and out of consciousness through her own blinding pain. She’d gasped. It was caught in her throat along with the scent of Cassandras viscera. Long teeth had crunched through Vi’s left lumbar, the soft brawn of her giving away like it was tillable earth.

She’d looked into the creature’s eyes. They were glowing red, feral. It was frothing at the mouth, saliva mixing so deliciously with what could only be Vi’s own blood. There was nothing but hunger behind it’s actions. And for a moment, Vi could understand that want.

Only for a moment.

Jinx- Powder- she had a loud whistle that could catch the attention of a hound within a ten-mile radius. This snapping animal was no different. It whipped it’s maw up fast enough to drip saliva against Vi’s festering wounds.

“Don’t!” Vi had screamed because she was so desperate to save her little sister. But the look in her eyes was resolute. Even in the light of the full moon. It showed more than the hunger, the viciousness. Jinx was on a mission. A martyr that would die for her charge.

She had the audacity to nod at Vi that night, to grin at her in a wolfish manner before her boots kicked up gravel. Evidently, the animal enjoyed the chase more than the prey it had pinned under it’s large paws. Claws dug sharply into Vi’s chest and stomach, tearing like soft butter into her stomach and chest.

Vi remembers screaming. She remembers the warmth of her own blood and the pale light of the moon overhead. She thinks she remembers her sisters maniacal howl combined with that of her own.

No… She would spare Caitlyn Kiramman the pain that her mother had endured. Some things are better left unlearned.

The smell of gunpowder, sulfurous and smokey, brought up a helping of vomit that Vi couldn’t swallow down. She thought it was vomit but couldn’t quite tell. It could have been nothing more than blood surfacing from the wound that had torn through the wound in her sternum.

The head ranger herself had fired off what was supposed to be a warning shot, but even with her immense fear clouding her aim, she had managed to land a slug in Violet. Silver. It burned viciously, sizzled like acid. Maybe it had been bile that splattered onto the forest floor in a stringy mess.

Vi’s vision was blurry with tears, cheek pressed to the earth as she watched Caitlyn on the front porch of her cabin, clutching her rifle. She released vapor with each breath, eyes methodically scanning the tree line.

Her bones were morphing into something human, something much more becoming. The bullet lodged within her was making it nearly impossible. Her nails were long, her ears tipped with red fur akin to her own hair. Her pointed teeth digging so painfully into her bottom lip to stifle her pained growls.

She was far from wolf, but far from mortal.

When the moon rose this high, she lost herself in the pain and the hunger that had led to her original demise. Vi preferred it this way. She separated the beast that tore through her once a month from the human that kept it at bay the rest of the time. She didn’t know what the wolf did. Did not want to.

Anger surged through her now.

The National Park was endless, and yet… yet… she was at Caitlyn Kiramman’s doorstep. There was a sinking feeling within her that the creature she’d buried deep had been stalking the woman. The disease that had transferred through bite, through blood, couldn’t get enough. Wouldn’t unclamp it’s greedy jaws.

Violet craved Caitlyn’s touch. Preened under her approval. The creature must do the same. Had to, if it had gotten close enough for a shot to be fired. For a bullet to hit.

She rolled over onto her back and started clawing desperately with her sharpened nails at the shot. She clipped down on her tongue to swallow her scream, digging around the wound. She couldn’t grasp it, only pushed it further down. She swore she would drown in her own blood. It threatened to heal around her fingers, causing nothing but undeniable agony.

Cait had lowered the muzzle of her gun, squinting directly where she lay, as if she could see directly into Vi’s soul. Frosty eyes watched her, and she’d be damned if they didn’t send a chill down her spine, regardless of the thin line of blood that dripped down the corner of her mouth.

This was about more than swallowing her pride. Caitlyn was her only lifeline here. She wouldn’t blame the girl for taking one look at her and firing a second shot that wasn’t a warning right between her eyebrows.

Another tweak of horrible pain and her decision was made. Vi dug her slowly receding nails into the soft soil and dragged herself to the edge of the head rangers property. She was trembling, weak. The pale moonlight hitting her tattooed marred skin. She stiffened, feeling an odd rush counter her pain.

Caitlyn sucked in a sharp breath and repositioned her weapon, steeling her stance. Vi lazily dug her chin into the earth and stared at the woman with stars in her eyes. She used to lounge on Cait’s bed with the same disposition. Albeit in less throbbing pain.

“Violet?”

The safety was switched off and the rifle was propped up against the door. Caitlyn was dashing across the lawn, barefoot despite the many times she had warned her own rangers against the dangers of doing so. Goosebumps prickled against her skin and undeniable worry etched onto her beautiful features.

She dropped to her knees, despite the dampness of the grass. Vi Stiffened, attempted to press her face into the grass but Caitlyn’s hands were quicker to cup her face. She could see the reflection of the golden glow in the blue of the woman’s gaze.

Vi stifled a whimper at the hold. She was naked and could feel her muscles stiffening. It was getting harder to move, to breathe without feeling the burn in her lungs. They crackled uncomfortably. The hands that cradled her face were warm. If she were to die at this moment, this would be enough.

“Darling, did I…” her voice was choked “I’ve shot you.”

“You never miss, Cupcake.”

“I thought you were an animal.” She swiped both thumbs across Vi’s cheeks, wiping away tears and dirt and sweat, and maybe a little bit of blood.

“I think I might be.”

“Oh.”

The conversation was far too casual, Vi decided. She wavered in the cold, coughed up another mouthful of mucus and blood. This changed the worry in Caitlyn’s eyes to something harder that resembled the training that both of them had.

She scooped Vi up with strength that lingered fruitfully under her soft cotton t-shirt sleep clothes. The smaller woman opened her mouth to protest but the words died as her vision fluttered at the edges and her head slotted so easily into the small of Caitlyn’s throat.

It would be so easy her wolf howled to taste her.

Vi whined to drown out the thought, clutched the fabric that she clung to like a life raft. If Loris or Steb or even the orange-haired receptionist that glowered at her with contempt from behind the gift shop desk saw her now she would blanch. Never admit had content she felt in Caitlyn Kiramman’s arms.

And, God, was she content.

Caitlyn kicked the door to her cabin open and Vi breathed in a mix of spices from an earlier dinner untouched. She knew the layout of the cabin well, could hear the low crackle of a fire and could feel the heat of it as she was set down on the sofa that mirrored the hearth.

“I don’t understand it. I’ve nailed you with a shot right in the chest. You should be dead, or at the very least on it’s doorstep, not mine. You’re regarding me with discontent like I tasered you, or stunned you. Not like I took a Winchester and fired off a round. I rightly should take the stat phone and call the proper authority to get you to the emergency room and me to the psych ward.”

Caitlyn rambled in an adorably infuriating way when she was flustered. Even if Vi could get past the dryness in her throat she wouldn’t stop her. She enjoyed the way her cheeks would grow pink and she’d work the impassable problems out by her own accord.

She was flitting around, grabbing antiseptic, and medical kits that she had stashed, because she knew exactly what to do. Vi hadn’t realized she opened her eyes, or that she was watching her with a lazy content, but that’s exactly what she was doing, hand resting above her wound to subconsciously protect herself, breathing stuttered.

Her nails had retracted and so had her ears, thankfully. But her teeth still felt crowded in her mouth and she couldn’t calm her heart. She didn’t know, couldn’t know, if her eyes still shown a dangerous golden yellow. Caitlyn, her Caitlyn, had seen them either way. She balked at the fact.

“Cait,” Vi eventually stuttered out, clinging onto that floral scent that surrounded her so diligently. The Ranger was at her side in just a moment, crouching next to the sofa, grasping at her flexed and unflexed bicep. It was coated in a sheen of cold sweat. “I need you to get the bullet out. Please.”

That flicker of doubt was there again. It was brief but startling all the same. The Kiramman’s did not falter. She stared openly at Vi’s bare chest. At the pierced, pert nipples and the marred flesh in between them. In any other situation she would make a crude comment to cover her embarrassment, but this was not any other situation and Vi needed this bullet out now.

She gently grabbed the side of Caitlyn’s face, directing her attention, leading that deadly Cambridge stare to her own. “I understand that I am the last… I am the last… I didn’t…”

Vi was going about this wrong. She didn’t know how to get the words out. She didn’t know how to say that the same monster that had torn Caitlyn’s mother to shreds had taken up residence in her bones. Had changed her. They weren’t the same teeth, the same claws, but they had the same intention, could shed the same blood.

A sob tore through her, one that reminded Vi much of ones last. A death rattle. Caitlyn’s hot hand was holding her down in a moment, splayed against taut muscle. She was digging through an open first aide kit and searching for titanium prongs, a crease formed between her eyebrows.

“Hold this.”

Caitlyn barked the demand, and a wad of gauze was suddenly shoved into Vi’s mouth, catching on her chapped lips. She bit down so she wouldn’t choke on it. Caitlyn didn’t give a count down. It wasn’t her style. She didn’t coddle, or nurse you through pain that was known to be excruciating.

Instead, she dug the pointed prongs into the wound that was desperate to heal. Vi moaned around the gag, nails slashing even lines into the nearest throw pillow. Her claws were quick to come out, spilling stuffing as tears clouded her vision. Her back arched from the sofa as drool frothed from the corners of her mouth.

Caitlyn had the audacity to shush her like a petulant child. She plowed through the recesses of her injury, the layers of tissue and tendons. The gauze became damp and sticky with pink saliva. The heel of Caitlyn’s free hand was digging painfully into Vi’s shoulder to pin her down.

If Vi hadn’t been blinded by pain, she would relish in the way Caitlyn’s body was slotted against her own, having shifted. A sure knee in between her legs, pressed against her center. They were in a compromising position. Caitlyn’s breath was warm as it splayed across her chest. Vi’s rapid and building.

After a few agonizing moments, the prongs were pulled away and the bullet dropped to the floor with a clatter. Nothing could be heard but the punctuated panting of both women and the crackling of fire eating through logs. They were still. Vi’s teeth clenched and Cait’s hands still splayed near the wound that slowly began to seal itself in front of her disbelieving eyes.

Vi was filled with unrest. Dissatisfaction. Her hands were pinned and her throat was slick with blood. Her skin was buzzing and clarify had hit her like a truck now that the damned bullet had been pulled out. She was naked, vulnerable. And Caitlyn fucking Kiramman was on top of her.

Vi was saying something. Her stupid mouth was saying something, but it was muffled by the gauze, and Caitlyn lifted a shaky hand, pulling it from her lips with blood-soaked hands. “what?”

“Can you get off of me?” her words cracked. “I’m naked, cupcake.”

Caitlyn drew in a sharp breath, flicking her gaze down for an agonizing moment before shifting her weight off Vi. The sensation was immediately missed. A whimper quelled, swallowed along with the metallic taste that lingered on her tongue. Vi scrambled herself, pulling the throw blanket on the back of the sofa around her shoulders and making her hulking frame as small as she possibly could as she curled under the scratchy material.

She reveled in the scent of Caitlyn. Something that had been so oppressing the month before when they spoke in the woods. Now she swam in it. Hell, she wanted to drown in it. The Ranger busied herself with grabbing alcohol wipes from the first aide kit.

When she settled, she did so next to Vi. Their knees touching, as if any type of distance would make her perish. The gesture made her heart pound. It still ached, still fought to heal, but she didn’t’ mind. Caitlyn wordlessly asked for her hand and used her teeth to tear away the paper of the antiseptic wipe.

Vi always had larger hands than Caitlyn. But Caitlyn was nimble and methodic where Vi was clunky and impulsive. Despite the blood that had dried around her nailbeds, Caitlyn started the heavy task of cleaning the dirt and muck away from Vi’s knuckles. Neither of them speaking for a good, long while. She was waiting for Vi to speak, and she would wait for however long it took. She would always wait.

“I black out a lot.”

Caitlyn’s movement’s stilled for a moment. She had cleared most of the blood away from Vi’s left hand and moved on the right. There was a tiny mountain of wipes on the coffee table and the chemical scent was burning both of their lungs. She resumed her work with a committal hum.

“I think it’s a small mercy, really. I don’t want to remember. After that night, I knew something was different about me, but I wanted to attribute it to the grief, to the drinking. To anything other than what I knew was sitting in front of me all along.”

Caitlyn was scrubbing particularly hard at a spot of blood that refused to release itself from Vi’s skin at the base of her palm. Vi gently took the woman’s hands, giving them a squeeze, drawing her attention from the task. Her eyes were red around the edges from exhaustion. From emotion. She sniffed, glowered dangerously at Vi.

“The thing that… took your mother and Powder away from us it” Vi’s voice shattered. She grimaced and looked towards the fire. Tried to clear the emotion from her chest, but couldn’t quick staunch it. Never really could when it came to Caitlyn, so she embraced it instead, stared directly into the eye of the storm as it swirled. “When it bit me, it changed me. I don’t think it had a choice in what it was and I don’t think I have a choice in what I am now.

“This forest needs something to harbor it’s pain, and it breaks my heart more and more every single day that we crossed it’s path that night.” Vi’s head dropped, tears falling into her lap. Her shoulders convulsed. She was shaking, she knew. Too tired to fight them off. “You can hate me, Cait. I’m begging you to hate me. I would hate me.”

Hands were quick to find her cheeks and franticly wipe away at heated tears before patting at her collarbone until she looked up with confusion in her stare. Vi met an expression that was nothing more than stark tenderness, a flat line of a mouth. Caitlyn was calculating. She was exasperated. The look she often carried for Vi.

“Hate you? Why on earth would I hate you Vi?”

“I… I couldn’t stop it. I became it.”

“Darling,”

It was the subtle shake of her head, the gentleness of the single word, the quiet acceptance in her eyes. Everything combined. Vi crumbled. She fell forward and into Caitlyn’s arms. The Ranger let out a huff of air but accepted her all the same. She did not hesitate to pull her close, Vi’s ear pressed against Caitlyn’s stomach as she buried her head into the woman’s lap.

“None of this is your fault.” Caitlyn soothed, working her fingers through the mess of pink hair. “You hear me?”

Vi continued to sob, tightening her grip around Caitlyn’s center. She cried until her throat was sore. Breathing the woman in, relishing in the way her fingers felt as they gently pressed against her scalp. She whispered soothing words to her. Held her tightly, ran a hand over her bare spine and the scar of a bite that had never quite healed.

When the fire had turned into nothing but a dull flicker of orange, Caitlyn still harboring all the warmth either of them would ever need, Vi turned and stared up at her. There was a fondness in the woman’s stare. A curiosity there that she knew she’d have to atone for when she wouldn’t need to grip so hard to keep herself grounded.

“I need you to promise me something.”

Caitlyn knit her brows, swallowing hard. She brushed a strand of hair from Vi’s red-rimmed eyes. Her hand was trembling. Vi never wanted to move from this spot, from the warm comfort of the rangers lap, her nose pushed into her stomach where she could make sure she was breathing with ease.

“If you ever see me with a certain look in my eyes Cait, I need you to fire more than a warning shot. I need you to shoot to kill. I know you can.”

She opened and closed her mouth, teeth clanging together in a noise that should have been painful. Her hand curled into a fist against Vi’s bare abdomen, nails scratching lightly on marred skin. She huffed, but didn’t’ say a word. She didn’t trust herself to. It wasn’t the time to ramble, and both of them knew it.

“You’ll know it when you see it.” Vi clenched her eyes shut, burying her face deeper into Cait’s embrace. “You’re an okay shot.”

Caitlyn leaned her head back, letting out an unsteady sigh, her gaze lingering on the cold hearth, the fire long-dead and the Winchester’s silhouette looming as it sat propped in it’s usual place. “I’m an excellent shot.”

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