#this show is from 2020 but it feels older?
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harocat · 1 year ago
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When does Sifeng Love and Redemption stop wearing this cursed mask. It looks like badly cured meat.
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astrotruther · 2 months ago
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Astro Observations
relationships (ii)
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୨ৎ You know that trope of non-celebrity women landing the men everyone wants? One placement they often share is Venus in Aquarius—think Yoko Ono, Amal Clooney. Venus square Moon women too, but with a darker twist: their validation comes from 'pulling' the unattainable. They have the charm to get who they want, but the moment their partner gives in, the illusion of exclusivity shatters—what once felt like a conquest now feels ordinary, leaving them bored.
୨ৎ People with Venus trine Chiron may sometimes find themselves in public romances that people don't approve of or don't understand due to the distorted perception they have of these people. E.g. Kim Kardashian, Timothée Chalamet. Camila Cabello allegedly dating Drake. They could go after problematic people or, are problematic themselves.
୨ৎ Venus-Saturn aspects don’t only imply an attraction to older partners. Saturn rules time so natives with this aspect may be into age-gap relationships with younger people as well. E.g. Shawn Mendes' ex-girlfriend Charlie Travers has Venus Trine Saturn (Shawn is 12 years younger than her).
୨ৎ Neptune in the 7th House in Composite Chart - People may never know specifically what kind of relationship these couples have. They tend to keep their romance private and may even refuse to label it.
୨ৎ North/ South Node square Venus in Synastry may manifest as a relationship that's 'not meant to be'. Some of these couples spend a long time with each other, but simultaneously have this feeling that they're wasting their time. I’ve noticed this in couples that burn bright in the beginning but realize very soon that the other person is not it. It can become obsessive if this realization is one-sided and the other partner doesn’t want to let go.
୨ৎ Venus square Uranus in synastry—beware of abusive dynamics. This often manifests as verbal abuse. Mars square Mars could manifest as physical abuse. Aishwarya Rai & Salman Khan have both these aspects.
୨ৎ If you have Venus square Pluto and keep experiencing short, rocky romances, it likely means you're not incorporating the lessons. Reflect on how you may be sabotaging yourself in relationships. Are you choosing the wrong people?
୨ৎ Some Venus square Pluto celebs tend to have extensive dating histories and their choice of partners is interesting to say the least. They always gravitate toward people who dominate pop culture at that moment. The IT girls/ boys. E.g. Niall Horan has dated Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, Hailee Steinfeld, Ellie Goulding, Barbara Palvin, Demi Lovato; all during their peak popularity. However, they may eventually break their pattern and find stability. Niall has been with his non-celeb girlfriend since 2020 and still going strong.
୨ৎ Venus is so important in determining the kind of creative pursuits you're drawn to and the ones that'd bring abundance. Half of Game of Thrones' cast has Venus in Scorpio. The show's themes included power struggles, sex, betrayal, and death - key Scorpio motifs. E.g. Emilia Clarke, Lena Heady, Kit Harrington, Alfie Allen, Charles Dance. Also, Penn Badgley portrays Joe in YOU so well; he has a Scorpio stellium (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Pluto).
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thoughtfulfiction · 5 months ago
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The P Word
Author’s Note: Two fics in two days?
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In 2013, Joe sent a dm to a recruiting analyst for scout.com, asking which camps he should attend because he was flying under the national radar.
Most four star recruits get about 20 college offers. He had 12.
At Ohio State he sat on the bench for three years, only gaining attention as a scout team player who would later have to graduate in three years just so he could transfer and get some playing time elsewhere.
That same scout team player would become the best player in college football and a Heisman trophy winner and the number one pick in the 2020 NFL Draft. A few years after that fateful private message to Dave Burk.
Robin Burrow had been there the entire time. Through every shining moment and the times that seemed rather dark. She drove two hours to do his laundry just to make sure he was physically and mentally healthy when he lived in Columbus, has attended every game since he began playing sports, made him snickers salad when he tore his ACL…and when he tore his scapholunate ligament in his wrist. All in all, she’s been a constant presence in the midst of all of the mayhem. To be frank, there’s nowhere else in the world she’d rather be than between him and anything that could possibly serve to harm him or cause him any pain, no matter how old he is.
That included protecting him from himself.
The last few months had been filled with joy. After the news of his engagement, the wedding planning process had been smooth. You and Robin along with your mom, had gone to several appointments together and Joe had even added his input in most of the details without you feeling like you had to twist his arm and force him to participate.
You were now in the home stretch of the most important day of your lives. Less than two months from now you’d be saying “I do” to the love of your life. And Robin had taken her role as future mother in-law very seriously. You knew that Joe was a mama’s boy, his brothers much older than him with their own mom, and it was clear to anyone with eyes that he was Robin’s pride and joy. But not in a creepy way that would get them to star in a TLC show. It was just very evident that she was proud of him and his achievements and that she didn’t mess around when it came down to business.
After one of your dress fittings, she pulled you aside. “There’s one quick thing I need to mention to you. You’ll be getting a formal document in the mail in the next few days. Nothing huge, just a formality that Peter and the team drafted up for you to sign. I hate the word prenup but that’s essentially what this is.” She said in a matter of fact way. “We just need to make sure to dot our i’s and cross our t’s if that makes sense. Get the boring stuff out of the way so that we can focus on showering you and Joey with our love on your special day.”
“No that makes complete sense, just send it over and I’ll sign whatever you need me to. Thank you Robin seriously, for everything. You’ve made planning this entire thing a breeze.”
She shakes her head with a genuine smile, giving you a warm hug. “This has been an honor, I’m so happy for the both of you sweetie. I’ll see you in a few days for brunch at your house? The kids are so excited they won’t stop talking about it.”
“Yes absolutely, I can’t wait either it’s been so long since we’ve gotten both families together it’ll be really fun.”
There weren’t many opportunities for your family to interact with Joe’s and vice versa, unless everyone met at a football game but that wasn’t exactly quality family bonding. That felt more like a collective screaming match where the adults pregamed with beer and the kids wore his jersey. Most of them didn’t really know what was going on in the actual game. So you and Joe were going to host both sets of parents, all of your siblings and their kids in order for everyone to really spend time together before the wedding.
A few days later, you were finalizing the menu with the catering company when Joe came home.
“It’s gonna be like Cheaper by the Dozen in here tomorrow,” he notes, grabbing a Body Armour from the fridge. “Are we sure we’re ready for this?”
“We kinda have to be. Should we do smoked salmon or shrimp crostinis?” You held up one of each and let him examine them. He snagged the salmon one first and took a bite then did the same with the shrimp.
“Definitely the salmon. What time is everyone getting here?” The catering people jot down their last notes and head out the door after you and Joe thanked them.
You could tell he was going to need time to mentally prepare in case he got overstimulated. “They’ll be here at 1pm, so you can probably get an early workout in and take a nap afterwards,” walking over to him on the other side of the counter, holding his face in your hands. “I know you get cranky when you’re tired and Uncle Joe needs to be at his best tomorrow because the kids will need a QB for their flag football game.”
He wraps his arms around your waist, sticking out his lips that are begging to be kissed. You happily grant his wish, pressing your lips against his, giving him a quick smooch. He asks for a few more, about to get lost in a full make out session when a stack of papers on the counter catch his eye. Joe pulls back so abruptly that your face smacks against his chest.
“Sorry baby,” he cradles your head, reaching around you to grab the piece of paper that’s on top. You take that as your cue to go after his second apology for nearly giving you a concussion. That chest is a brick wall.
The more he skims the words, the tighter his grip gets on the little sheet and the confused look on his face deepens. “Um…what is this?”
“What is what?” You give him a look that matches his energy.
He holds up the paper. “This. What is this? Where did you get it from?”
You look around the room to make sure you aren’t getting Punk’d. “Wait—are you being serious?”
“Do I look like I’m joking,” it wasn’t a question. He’s legitimately starting to look upset. “Who gave this to you?”
“Joe,” you let out a dry chuckle, “your mom did. Said it was a formality and that I should sign it and give it to her so she can hand it off to Peter so your lawyers can process it.” When your fiancé continues to stand there motionless in the middle of the room, that’s when it hits you. “Did—did you not know about this?”
He usually has something to say about everything, so watching him silently shake his head is a little scary. Joe places the first page of the prenuptial agreement on the table with a heavy sigh, visibly trying to compose himself. The man had the patience of a saint, known to have blow ups on the field but that was Football Joe. Off the field Joe was calm and rarely ever let things get to him. You’d probably only heard him yell twice in the entire time you’ve been together. And now he was dead quiet. You didn’t know what to do with that.
“Joe, your mom is just trying to protect you. Get this out of the way so that we can—”
“Please don’t try to defend her right now,” his tone was laced with venom, a seething anger you hadn’t seen before and weren’t too keen on getting familiar with. “I don’t like that this was just drafted, printed and handed to you without my permission. She and Peter shouldn’t have done that. And my mom definitely shouldn’t have ambushed you with this.”
Now he was being dramatic. “Robin didn’t ambush me! She told me a couple days ago and I thought you knew so I didn’t mention it.”
“I would never do that to you,” he says with a pain in his voice that makes your chest clench. “WE, you and I should be talking about this. Not my mom and Peter. Jesus.” He rested his arms on the counter, running his hands through his hair.
You hated seeing him get worked up like this, crossing the room again to place a comforting hand on his back. “Why don’t you talk to her tomorrow, I’m sure she didn’t mean to upset you. She most likely just thought she would do this for you so you didn’t need to worry about it.”
“That’s the thing, this isn’t something she should be doing for me. We’re getting married. You’re going to be my wife. There’s no reason she needs to be handing you documents on my behalf like you’re some fucking stranger. I don’t care how ‘busy’ I am. You come first.” You can feel the tension in his muscles even when he stands up to his normal height. He’s really trying to keep it together, giving you an empty kiss on the cheek before heading into his office to cool off. An hour later you head up to check on him, assuming he has his headphones on and can’t hear you, you find that the door is locked.
Tomorrow’s brunch is going to be very interesting to say the least.
Joe surprised you by being in bed by the time you came upstairs to get ready to go to sleep. You thought for sure he’d be on a run to clear his mind. As soon as you climbed in next to him he put his phone away, wrapping his arms around you and giving your body a squeeze.
Whatever private meeting he had with himself must have done the trick because he was actually letting you be the big spoon for once. His touch was soft and intentional, the previously icy aura was liquified and only warm and cuddly Joe remained. “Are you okay?” You asked him and he nodded without looking at you. He just interlocked your fingers in his before sitting up.
“Switch me.” You knew the little spoon wouldn’t last long. “That’s better,” he sighs kissing your head, feeling at home with your arm draped across his waist.
After a few seconds of silence he mutters, “I’m so sorry this is happening. Are you sure you want to sign up for a lifetime of this?”
You look up to meet Joe’s gaze to see if he’s trying to be funny. “A lifetime of you? I can’t think of anything I would want more. The rest of it is just extra, the good and the bad. As long as I have you I don’t care.”
His shoulders sag once again in relief, “good.” Joe peppers a few kisses on your neck, making his way up to your jaw, taking his sweet time until he got to your lips. A joyous hum leaves his mouth as the kiss grows deeper, each swipe of his tongue against yours makes you feel dizzy…love drunk. Nothing compares to the way that Joe kisses you, sensually careful but hungry at the same time, almost as if this is the last thing he’ll ever get to do. This kiss is different, it’s a promise to always protect you, to never let the outside noise sway what his heart knows is true. He’s found the one person in the world that consistently makes his heart sing and no one—not even his mom—will have the final say. And he was going to make that very clear.
When Joe sluggishly came down the stairs the next day rubbing his eyes after his nap wearing a hoodie and cargo pants, you were just thankful he wasn’t in sweats.
“Hi there Sleeping Beauty, I’ve already gotten a few texts that most of them are about five minutes out.”
“Great,” he grunts, parking himself on the couch, “I’m starving,” he scoots around trying to subtly adjust himself.
Joe stares at you , running his hand down your thigh. “Hungry…for food right?” You give him a pointed look.
“Yeah, yeah for food. What did you think I meant?” He laughs as he catches the pillow you launch his way and scoot far enough away that he can’t grab you.
“Don’t. Today really needs to be a stress free day. Can you promise you will be nice and not yell at your mother?” And with that statement he is no longer in the mood.
“I will not yell at my mom,” he crosses his arms over his chest with a scowl only like a youngest child could. “Can’t promise I’ll be nice.”
Before you can negotiate any further the doorbell rings and your first guests arrive. Nieces and nephews come running in, suffocating you with hugs and the youngest one tugging at Joe’s legs demanding to be picked up. Less than 30 minutes later the entire backyard is filled with kids playing tag, drinking juice boxes while the adults enjoyed the appetizer spread.
Joe wasn’t making it blatantly obvious that he was mad but he wasn’t exactly hiding it either. He kept the greeting with his parents short, keeping his distance throughout the afternoon focused on entertaining the kids and playing the perfect host.
“I just realized I never asked,” Codie, one of Joe’s sister in laws speaks up. “Where are you two going for your honeymoon?”
“Bora Bora! I can’t wait,” you respond, topping off her wine glass.
His brother Dan’s ears perk up. “We were thinking about going there for an anniversary trip. Are you guys staying in a resort?”
Joe shakes his head, “I got us an underwater bungalow. The view is supposed to be insane.”
“Yeah I bet,” your dad notes.
“Take lots of pictures,” his dad adds in.
He waits for a second taking a mental note of his mom’s silence throughout the conversation, nudging you to make sure that you’re on the same page. By the time everyone was gone you needed something stronger than wine. Robin and your mom insisted on helping you clean up but you let them know that the caterers were coming back to grab everything. As you bid your family goodbye and thanked them for coming, your mom whispered in your ear, letting you know that the man inside was a keeper. You responded by telling her you intended on keeping him.
Once the door was fully closed you could breathe a sigh of relief…until you heard Robin ask Joe what was going on with him.
Here we go.
Joe didn’t respond. He just went up to his office and came right back down with the prenup in hand. “Care to explain?”
“Oh,” she looked rather unfazed, “Peter and I thought that—”
“And that’s where you went wrong,” Joe interrupts, voice surprisingly even. “You and Peter don’t get to ‘think.’ You don’t get to do whatever you ‘think’ I need. You have to ask me.”
You can tell she’s visibly taken aback at how this has gone. “It was not at all my intention to go behind your back. You’re just very busy and now with wedding planning and everything else, it just made sense to get it put into place so you’d have one less thing to worry about.”
“Mom, I get that. But you crossed the line here. I’m an adult who would’ve liked to have a mature conversation with the person I am going to marry about a topic that is extremely uncomfortable for everyone. It is not your job to play the middle man here. There is no middle man. This is between y/n and I.”
The tension in the air was getting a little too thick for your liking. You stood next to Joe, running your hand down his arm trying to diffuse the situation as much as possible. “Okay I think you’ve made your point. Robin, I am not at all upset with you, this can all be resolved rather—”
“I am upset with you mom. There was no reason to hand over that document without at least giving me a phone call,” Joe counters, starting to stand in front of you a bit like he’s physically shielding you from her.
“Now Joey I don’t think your mom meant any harm,” Joe’s dad speaks up seeing his wife almost in tears. “Why don’t we all just take a breather here.”
You nod in agreement.
“I’m so sorry, to both of you. In hindsight that wasn’t the best way to go about it but like you said this is uncomfortable. I thought keeping it casual would remove some of that awkwardness and I just made it worse. I really am sorry.”
Joe still seemed unmoved but you really didn’t think she needed to apologize this much. He just told her he appreciated the sentiments but that she needs to recognize that’s he’s an adult, telling them goodnight and immediately heading upstairs.
You’re left to walk them out alone, giving them both hugs goodbye. “Honey I’m so sorry,” Robin states again, “I never want you to think that I don’t love you or that I was intentionally going behind Joe’s back. I was just making sure we have all of our bases covered so we aren’t sweating the small stuff on your big day. I hope you can forgive me.”
“You’re totally fine, I understand. And I agree. I think he just got a little freaked out at the reminder that his life is abnormal. He wants things to be simple and sometimes they just aren’t. That probably stressed him out a little. Or a lot.”
It feels good to leave their tense interaction with her smiling. Even though it didn’t reach her eyes like usual, it was still a small step forward.
“How can you not be upset about this?” Joe asks after brushing his teeth.
You focused on what was going on at your sink, taking your time to complete your skincare routine. “Because I see where both of you are coming from. You have every right to be angry at her for doing this behind your back. But at the same time I understand why she feels like she should get a jump on protecting your assets.”
“Protect my assets…” he scoffs, “…from you? What’s mine is going to be yours.” He hands you a towel after you wash your face, having memorized the steps at this point.
“Yeah ok, legally. But your accomplishments and accolades are yours. That’s how you got here and your mom saw all the blood, sweat and tears that went into you being in the position you are today. She may have overstepped a little but you’re still her baby at the end of the day and sometimes it’s hard for them to recognize that they have adult children who are fully capable of making their own decisions.” He grabs the moisturizer off the counter and places it in your hand as you laugh, whispering thank you. “My mom has done the same to me, not to this extent obviously because we’re in completely different tax brackets but—they just want to make sure we’re okay no matter what.”
Joe leans against the counter, deep in thought. Growing up with his dad coaching it was usually just the two of them, she drove him to basketball and football practices and tournaments, took him to school and worked the entire day at school and came home still ready to dedicate all of her time to him if he asked. “I was too harsh wasn’t I?”
“A teeny bit? Maybe? I do thoroughly appreciate you looking out for me though. Going to bat for me against your mom of all people.”
He shrugs, giving you a hug from behind, resting his chin on your head. “She protects me so somebody’s gotta protect you. That’s what I’m signing up for and I promise to always take that job very seriously.” I should put that in my vows, he tells himself. He leans over a little more to press a kiss against your temple.
“Is that a promise?”
“That is a promise,” he holds out a pinky, making you gasp as you turn around.
“Isn’t a pinky shake you and Ja’Marr’s thing?”
Joe looks at you sheepishly, smiling so wide his eyes crinkle. “I won’t tell him if you don’t.”
You lock your pinky in his, kissing the smile off of his face.
That night before he went to sleep, he texted his mom telling her that he loved her. You gave them privacy when she came over the next day, smiling and hugging it out so you assumed everything went well. You hoped to have open communication with your kids even as adults one day, but did not envy the journey that your parents were constantly navigating. This once tiny person you created and had to make sure to teach them everything was now not only getting married and had established their own life but in Joe’s case everything was heightened. She’s been there through her son being the overlooked player who Urban Meyer said threw like a girl to now if he so much as has a paper cut an entire city of people, a whole fanbase is worried and asking for minute by minute updates on his condition. You couldn’t imagine the whirlwind that must be.
So you were going to sign that prenup whether Joe liked it or not.
“We need to decide on bridal party gifts,” Joe suggests a week later. “I was thinking about getting the guys customized golf carts. They could be delivered straight to their houses after the wedding or I could have them dropped off the day we get there and they can drive around the property whenever they need to get somewhere? What sounds better?”
“It sounds like you’ve had this very specific plan and just couldn’t wait to make your big announcement. How am I supposed to compete with that?”
Joe laughs, grabbing his water. “You can give them all Cartier bracelets, have the wedding date engraved on the inside. That’d be pretty cool.”
Cool and expensive. “Don’t do that, I can actually hear what you’re thinking.” Curse him for knowing you so well. “We’re only gonna do this once, might as well do it right. Make it a great experience for everyone we love.”
“Fine. You’re right. But we are not doing an ice sculpture then.” He gives you a blank stare but says nothing, both of you know that it’ll be coming back up sooner rather than later. “There is something else we need to talk about though.”
He rolls his eyes, deciding this is the perfect time to get up and put his plate in the sink, like you can’t just follow him. “We really don’t have to do this.”
“Oh but we do. Joe seriously we’re gonna have to figure this out. It’s important.”
He lets out a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling before putting his eyes back on you. “I’m just uncomfortable with any conversation that plans a breakup. I don’t ever want to breakup.”
“Then let’s not breakup and we won’t even have to worry about any of this. We’ll discuss the details, I’ll sign it and we’ll never talk about it ever again. Deal?”
You place a hand on his cheek and he kisses the inside of your hand before he speaks. “Deal. I can’t wait to marry you. Even got a countdown on my phone.”
“That’s probably the single most adorable thing you’ve ever said.” He pulls his phone out to show you a countdown app with a timer down to the hour the ceremony is supposed to start. A picture from your engagement shoot is set as the background. “I can’t wait either. I love you, so much.”
“I love you more.”
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aliaology · 5 months ago
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RISK
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summary: in which you and luke have been exchanging texts and calls back and forth after you stalked his instagram and accidentally liked a post from 2020. now you’re absolutely hooked but is it a good idea?
pairings: lhughes x fem!reader
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look at me know. know i shouldn’t do it, but i hunted you down. know you had a girl, but it didn’t work out, know you bought a house, but you had to move out, and
you didn’t really know luke hughes. you knew who he was, due to being really good friends with his brother, jack. but you didn’t know the person behind the name.
so, when jack posted the boy for his birthday, you thought he was pretty. that being said, you clicked the tagged people, his profile, and went on a small little stalking moment.
luke didn’t really post a lot, but as a girl who thought he was cute, you were able to figure out a few things. he had a girlfriend, key word, had. she seemed to be in posts until she just wasn’t.
some of the comments from his friends had confirmed a split by making single man jokes. men.
not only that, but when he was with his girlfriend, they got an apartment together. his name must not have been the one on the lease as you learned from jack about luke moving in.
you continued to scroll through his instagram. going further and further back. you stopped on one photo. it was a cute one of him and his brothers. you double tapped the photo, until you realized it was from 2020. instead of unliking it, you threw your phone to the ground and hid your face away in embarrassment— as if he could see you.
you knew there was no point in taking away your like. he definitely saw it and is definitely wondering why one of jacks mutuals is liking posts from 2020.
you groan against your sheets. how could you be so stupid? your phone dinged. you got off of your bed and grabbed your phone. he texted you.
[ yn.username ] lhughes_06 ill admit i stalked your ig too but liking a photo from 2020? amateur move
holy fuck.
isn’t it fun? thinking i’m right when i’m probably wrong. holding my breath like i met someone, knowing damn well that i haven’t been touched by you.
after that day, messages were sent back and forth constantly. at first, it started as a small convo. you lied, saying your friend had your phone and showed you the picture. you told him you saw jack and liked it so you could use it as blackmail against the older hughes.
luke didn’t really buy it, but for your sake, he pretended. from here, the interactions weren’t that big. you two followed each other. you’d repost his and jacks posts, as a good friend does. he’d do the same.
you’d like his stories, reply to them every now and then. again, he did the same right back. then, you two finally began talking. starting with the fact that you posted on your story a picture of yourself and your best friend.
luke was tapping through numerous stories, landing on yours as jack was looking over his story. you and jack were extremely close, but he had no idea who your girl best friend was.
“dude ask her who her friend is.” jack told.
so he did. then you two didn’t stop texting. it got to the point jack had to force luke to get ready for practice.
[yn.username] lhughes_06 jack here, stop flirting with my brother you freak. he barely moved for an hour so he could talk to you
it’s easy to say that you didn’t in fact listen to his words.
in truth, you were giddy and continued to text the boy—even if you had yet to touch him, or even meet him. how were you jacks friend without meeting his family?
i’m not proud, guess i’m just scared of you shooting it down. you can just talk, and i’ll stare at your mouth. it could be bad, but i wanna find out.
you really wanted to meet up with luke. it was almost sad how desperate you were to meet him. in reality, you really just wanted to touch him. to feel his skin, to feel his hair. you wanted to see what he wore outside of hockey, and in person.
but you were scared. the idea that maybe he wasn’t talking to you, but just replying, was enough to scare you and make you keep your mouth shut.
so every time you both facetime, your eyes are on his lips. watching them move with every word he says, every quirk of the lip when he smiles, every small movement, you’re watching it.
luke caught onto it. he didn’t stop you though—hell he liked it.
in my head, you’re in the car and you’re coming to me and you get to my door and you can’t even speak but i think that it’s sweet. yeah, i think that you’re sweet.
your little obsession with luke continued to grow. making way to begin fantasizing moments like a high school girl would about her crush.
maybe the image of his driving to your house just to see you was a bit of a reach…but then the image of his at your door, seeing you and being speechless—it was cute.
unfortunately, that’s not what was actually gonna happen. you two couldn’t make a plan up for your lives. he was so busy with hockey that he was either in another country for games, or at four hour long practices.
you were also slammed. school was kicking your ass, and if you weren’t at school, you were interning for a law firm. if at neither of those, you were working your job at a cafe to help make money for school.
so in all, you two wouldn’t have the time to see each other. so was this crush.. really smart? or was it a bad decision? to be honest, you didn’t care enough. you practically called him ‘your boy’ to your best friend.
i’m gonna bend ‘til i break and you’ll be my favorite mistake. i wish you could hold me here, shakin’, you’re the risk, i’m gonna take it. why aren’t you here in my bedroom? hopelessly boring without you. too soon to tell you ‘i love you.’ too soon to tell you ‘i love you’
you threw all thoughts that this could be a mistake right out the window. you stopped caring because the urge, the desire for him was becoming unbearable.
so instead of wondering why he wasn’t with you, in your bedroom, you packed a bag and talked to jack. jack was going out of town for the day, so he approved of you going to his apartment to see luke.
you could feel the pit in your stomach as you got closer and closer to the apartment. the anxiousness rising. what would you say to luke? it was too soon to say you loved him, but did you truly care?
you took a deep breath and stepped out of the uber. you thanked the driver and grabbed your backpack before walking away. you entered the apartment, entering the door code jack had given you.
you continued on your small adventure, rushing up the stairs to the forth floor. you panted slightly as you got to the top. it was hard to run up four flights of stairs.
after gaining your breath back, you walked down the hall. you got closer and closer, anxiety rising with every step until you finally stopped in front of the door.
you raised your hand, knocking on the wooden door with your knuckles. it took a moment, but then the door opened. the curly hair boy stood in front of you.
both of you were wide eyed, your cheeks still pink from the small workout you had. this was a big risk.
“i love you.”
and you were gonna take it.
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lol hey guys
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mysunshinetemptress · 10 months ago
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I Hate Her part two
Part one
Leah Williamson x enemy reader
Warning: Feeling like and outsider, self doubt, Leah being an asshole
A/n: I’m taking a break for the weekend, I’m just to busy to post anything so I’ll see you all Monday
You don’t make the roaster for Tokyo 2020, You wait patiently anxiously by the phone, you haven’t left your house scared that the phone will ring and you’ll either miss it or make a show of yourself in public and when the phone call comes your so happy you decide to stay at home, your told that maybe next you’ll get the chance but for now it’s a no, they just don’t think you're fully ready. You, you who have been on the senior squad since you were twenty, how are you not ready to be a part of team GB? 
How is she, how is Leah good enough to be a part of the Olympic squad and you're not, you got the call-up first to the Lionesses, you have the most clean tackles of the last two seasons of the WSL, you have the most goal scored by a defender of last season, how is she the better choice. 
You’re gutted, gutted as it’s officially announced and you watch the congratulations roll in for your teammates and you can’t help but feel like you're supposed to be there too, to be getting a congratulations instead of “Oh darling I’m so sorry, you’ll get it next time.” 
So when the phone call comes in a month before the team is set to leave for camp and start getting ready for the Olympics you can’t help but feel like a fraud in a sense, this is what you wanted, but not like this, not as a second choice, not when one of your teammates, friends has to pull out due to injury. 
You let out a half-hearted smile under the mask as you greet the social media team “Excited?” You nod “Excited.” You head in getting a COVID test done before moving to get your room allocation. 
You feel lost in camp these girls have known they were going to be a part of this squad for months now but you, you’re the last one in, the final pick, the second choice, and Leah has no problem showing it. 
Leah was the first to make you feel like an intruder. Her eyes once filled with camaraderie, now held a cold indifference. Her snide remarks, subtle digs and subtle exclusion, were like tiny daggers, aimed with precision to erode your confidence. You were a constant reminder of her misfortune, a living, breathing symbol of her failure.
The weight of expectation was suffocating. Every mistake, every missed pass, was magnified under the unforgiving spotlight of the Olympic stage. You were haunted by the fear of letting everyone down, of proving your doubters right. The girl who once thrived under pressure was now paralysed by it.
Nights were the worst. As your teammates shared laughter and inside jokes, you retreated into the solitude of your room. But your room only offered up that solitude during the day, when your eyes closed the same recurring nightmares plagued your mind and fed into the doubt, The medal ceremony played on repeat in your mind, their faces beaming with pride, stood on the podium as you tried to reach it, tried to climb on but a boot always connected with your hand stamping on it again and again forcing you to let go, before laughter erupted from the team, all looking down on you laughing at your inability to make it up, to be good enough to stand on the podium alongside them, the scene changes their names etched in history. And you? You a footnote, “Y/n Y/L/N the one who nearly ruined it for us all.” 
No one understands it, they haven’t tried to push you out, to exclude you (Leah has, her friends have been unexpectedly roped into it). The older girls are worried, your Captains Kim Little, Sophie Ingle and Ellen White can see it, you’re young, far too young to put so much pressure on yourself that you slip away from the group, and so they decide tonight is a team night, a mandatory team night. 
 You’re late, late for the team night and you feel nauseous as you open the door to the common room and everyone turns to look at you, you freeze until a hand grabs yours and you look up to see Ella, Ella, funny, loud Ella, she pulls you along to sit with her and Niamh and you do so quickly. Millie looks at you concerned raising a thumb up to make sure you’re ok, all you can do is nod. 
“Right ladies, shall we play a game.” Everyone lets out a cheer as they discuss what game to play Niamh tries to make conversation “So what’s the plans for summer break.” You shrug “I want to go to  Spain but I don’t know if that’s going to happen.” Ella shakes her head “We are all heading to Ibiza, you should come.” You nod slightly “Who is going.” Ella rattles off the names as the group seems to quieten down. 
Paranoia, is the game you used to play in secondary school, when you were an immature teenager, why this game, who chose this game. You felt your anxiety rise as flashes from your time sitting around the canteen table playing the game passed through your mind. 
You're safe for the start, no one mentions you, although there are slight digs here and there each girl seems to take it with a laugh, there’s nice ones too but still the bad ones always slip through. You don’t get a mention from anyone else but Leah’s best friends.
“Weakest pass” 
“Y/n”
“*****”
“Y/n” 
“*********”
“Y/n”
It was constant,  you laughed it off (forced laugh) when you found out, it was fine you could deal with it until you couldn’t. 
Leah thinks for a minute, it’s her turn again and everything she has said about you so far is only scratching the surface of how much she seems to hate you, she knows what to say she just hopes Keira takes the bait. She leans overhand covering her mouth and Keira's ear, she should know it’s a bad one from Keira's reaction, Kiera knows what Leah wants her to say but this ones mean, really mean, she can’t, not about you, you don’t fit this description, your miles ahead of the younger girls, but she doesn’t know what else to do. “Y/n.”
You sigh, you’re tired, bored even, bored of them choosing you, there are 21 other girls here, why do they keep picking on you? 
You flip the coin and watch as it lands on heads, Keira looks mortified while Leah wears a half smile, she looks proud of the fact you get to find out the question so she doesn’t even give Kiera the chance to “Who’s the worst player on the squad.” 
Your heart plummets, and you look between Leah and Keira, Keira’s eyes flick around the room trying to look anywhere but you, Leah, Leah looks guilty, no her expression changes so quick but she settles with a half smile again. 
You force out another laugh only this one is ten times more broken than the last, Ella grabs your hand trying to comfort you, comfort you about what, Leah’s right, you’re the worst player on the squad. You look around at the rest of your team’s concerned faces and panic you have to say something, otherwise, you’ll come off weak.
“Well obviously, I-I mean I was a second choice.” 
The words don’t have the effect you want and the girls look at you worriedly eyes soft “I think we better call it a night.” 
You play every game Team GB is part of in the Olympics, you help get them to the quarter-finals, you, the second choice, the worst player on the squad, play every game. 
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fantastic-nonsense · 2 months ago
Note
Do you know where I can find canon references to Dick being Bruce’s favorite child?
There are so many I started a folder labeled "Dick is Canonically Bruce's Favorite Child" lmao
Some of the more obvious panels (though I will note that some of the older ones were written before any other kids were introduced):
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"In order to cover up my Batman work, I had to pretend to be a playboy. And now it's made me lose the person I love most." -"Bruce Wayne Loses Guardianship of Dick Grayson," Batman (1940) #20
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"That boy meant more to me than anything in life..." -The Brave and the Bold (1955) #83
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"But believe me I couldn't have loved any son more." -Tales of the Teen Titans (1984) #50
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“Nightwing. He is the best. The only one I could have picked to lead you. He will honor you. We will make you champions. That’s it. That’s the speech. Get to work, Justice League. The world needs you.” -JLA (1997) #69
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“Then he stopped for a second and said…‘The only time I ever feel pride is when I look at Nightwing. Sometimes I think he’s the only thing I ever did right.’” -JLA (1997) #73
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"What happens to everyone on this Earth when yours comes back?" "They'll be folded into its historical fabric." "You mean they'll die." "No, they'll be replaced. Just as everyone on my Earth was. But they'll be better. I never lie, Bruce." "And what about Dick Grayson?" "Yes?" "Is he a better man on your Earth than he is on mine?" [Superman pauses, then looks away] "No." -Infinite Crisis (2005) #3
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OMAC: “And your favorite. Subject Beta–Grayson, Richard–Nightwing.” -Infinite Crisis (2005) #6
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“From the day I started, Bruce and Dick made me feel at home. And after Jason...and especially my Dad…Bruce made sure to always treat me like his own son. But even with all his careful and methodical attention–to any younger child–the firstborn is still the firstborn.” -DCU: Last Will and Testament (2008)
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“That’s because…I learned from the best.” “A good teacher relishes a good student. You were the best of them all, Dick.” -Batman Beyond (2016) #40 (AU, but still….)
And a few "less obvious but with very pointed implications" panels:
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"Didn't you think I was good enough to be you?" "You're better than me, Dick." -Detective Comics (1937) #725
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"And today showed me that I can be Batman." "I never doubted it, Dick. Given enough time, I'm sure you'd make an even better Batman than me." -Batman: Gates of Gotham (2011) #5
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"And the truth is, I didn't save you from some dark fate, those years ago. You saved me from one. And you still are saving me, every day." -Batman (2011) #11
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“I…I’m going to be a member of the Justice League one day?” “No. You’re going to lead it.” -Justice League (2011) #51
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"Happy birthday, Dick. The best man I've ever known." -from "A Little Nudge," Robin 80th Anniversary Special (2020)
Also bonus Jason being insecure and jealous about it:
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"I guess that's why "Dad" always loved you best." -Outsiders (2003) #44
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Jason respected him. Admired him. And yes, was jealous of him too. Dick, after all, was the first Robin. In Jason's eyes, he was the favorite son: the shining example he could never live up to. -DC Vault: Death in the Family: Robin Lives! (2024) #1
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politicalprof · 6 months ago
Text
On the election:
Thoughts? Sure. Lots of them:
--I have said from the beginning that this is a turnout election. Get me 2016 levels of turnout and Trump could well win. Get me 2020 levels of turnout and Harris would probably win. 2024's turnout is much closer to 2016 than 2020, so the electorate was whiter, more male, and older in 2024 than 2020. The people Harris needed to vote, didn't. Thus Trump won all or most of the swing states, and won the popular vote -- the first Republican to do so since 2004. (This is why I was a not a poll watcher: percentages in a poll do not translate directly into actual voting; in a turnout election actual voting is what matters.)
--I used to ask my classes, "will we have a Black president or a female president first? (Yes, I acknowledged the obvious "Black female" hole in that question.) The Black question was answered in 2008; we now have a further answer in that a candidate of the nature of Donald Trump has beaten two immensely qualified female candidates, one white and one woman of color -- both in low turnout elections. Apparently, America really, really, doesn't want a female president.
--Dobbs didn't matter, at least not as predicted. Women didn't "vote Harris" despite all claims they would do so, at least not at the predicted rates.
--Demography is not destiny. The Latino vote has moved toward Trump in three successive elections. I'd guess this is *because* of his anti-immigrant stances, not despite them: pulling up the ladder after you "make it" is an old part of American political life.
--[edit/added]: it's a global "throw the bums out" cycle. People are pissed for lots of reasons, and fairly or not, the "in power" people are feeling the pain. Such is the nature of political timing.
--The urban/rural split is a hell of a thing in American politics, and it's only going to get more intense over time as rural areas continue to empty but still get two Senators forever and ever and ever.
--There are a LOT of people who don't think of politics in either ideological or governance terms. They're not interested in whether a candidate means what he says or is capable of achieving the ends being promised. Rather, politics for these people is *entertainment.* What matters is the show. The "right" people need to be publicly valorized; the "wrong" people need to be attacked, humiliated, and hounded out of the public square. It's bread and circuses. As long as the entertainment continues they'll put up with the regime whatever it is doing to them in the background.
--Donald Trump remains the greatest politician in American history at dominating the news cycle, and thus feeding the entertainment machine. Every crazy, cruel, cantankerous thing he says gets re-amplified over and over again, driving everything else out of the political ecosystem. It's evil. But it's genius.
--I have long said that Donald Trump will never pay a meaningful price for his crimes, his corruption, and his cruelty. He will die in a golden bed surrounded by a harem of women and teams of acolytes singing his praises. It's not fair. But it's almost certainly true.
--A brief note on tariffs: when America relied on tariffs, the government was much smaller than it is now (meaning it needed less money to operate), and US economy activity was mostly concentrated in the US (meaning that it was hard for other countries to put retaliatory tariffs on US products). Neither of these things are true today. So, good luck with that.
I'm sure there's more. But that's a start.
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inuyashaluver · 1 year ago
Note
Hi could you do smt abt being Lucy bronzes little sister who is the photographer for city women and is in a secret relationship with Leila Ouahabi and no one know because your “forbidden” to footballers per Lucy’s request as according to her your still a baby as your like 23/24 ish.
by the rule book - leila ouahabi
leila ouahabi x reader
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description: in which you and your sister have a set of rules that you break because of a certain defender
warnings: let’s pretend leila attended the world cup, basically me yapping, swearing, angsty?
a/n: leila train has arrived back at my stop lmao, thank you so much for the request, much love, enjoy ❤️❤️
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you and your sister had a set of rules that were heavily referenced while growing up, and the present.
this set of rules sworn on by each sister with the promise they would never be broken. and they weren’t, until leila came into the picture.
you were 8 years younger than your sister, lucy. you’re a bronze sister, meaning you were extremely fun, playful, but serious and stoic when you needed to be. you and your sister brought out the best in each other, expecting nothing but the finest.
lucy was the best older sister, she was funny and always included you in everything she did once you grew out of your snitch phase and actually became cool in her eyes. the two of you were always extremely close and that’s how you both liked it.
she encouraged you to put your heart to your passion, one of the main reasons you became a photographer.
lucy was extremely protective of you, hence why she created a simple set of rules between the two of you that shouldn’t be broken.
1 - don’t date any of lucy’s teammates
2 - don’t date any of (y/n)’s friends
3 - respect each other’s boundaries
4 - be honest with each other
5 - sisters come first
the rules were easily agreed upon by the both of you, they were made when you were 16 and lucy was 24.
you followed lucy around for photographer opportunities, landing yourself a permanent position on the media teams of both england and manchester city when lucy joined in 2020.
you always loved photography, adoring the feeling of capturing a canvas that would be around for years to come.
just before lucy joined in 2020, you were both at england camp. in free time, everyone would eagerly chatter about their new or current clubs they were going to.
you angled your camera at keira while leah marked her during a mini game, checking the photos with a pleased smile until your sister hopped on your back.
“munchkin!” (your nickname for as long as you can remember) “luce! get off!” you laugh, almost falling flat on your face until your sister got off you, giving you an exaggerated kiss on the cheek that you were quick to squeal and complain about.
“you’re so annoying” you grumble, unable to fight your smile at seeing your sister’s bright grin. “shut up, show me some pics, picasso” she teases.
you roll your eyes amusingly, giving her a sneak peek of all the photos you’d taken so far, letting out a bright laugh when she made you stop on a photo of her.
“that’s class” she pinches your cheek teasingly, “well done, baby sis” she coos teasingly, a couple of the girls coming over and teasing you too.
everyone viewed you as family and a teammate even though you were just their photographer, you’d been with them for so long, they’d grown a huge love for you.
“you excited for manchester, (y/n/n)?” leah throws an arm over your shoulder as you both walked inside st george, “yeah! should be good, nice and cold” you grin,
“maybe manchester city is where we can finally see you get a partner?” she teases, you both laugh, “lee, come on, you know the rules” you laugh, “i know the rules!” lucy calls out from behind you from where she was walking behind you.
you flip her off and she gasps offendedly, “i could get you fired for that!” she exclaims, you wave her off, laughing along with leah.
you, lucy and keira all lived together in manchester, splitting the rent and living comfortably.
but in 2022, the two of them got offered contracts for barcelona and they accepted, but you didn’t. manchester felt like home to you, and you really didn’t want to leave it.
it was the first time you’d been away from lucy, and don’t be mistaken, you are a highly independent person but something was so reassuring about having your sister with you.
before they moved, they helped you move into a flat for yourself, small and homey like you needed.
it was incredibly tearful dropping keira and lucy off to the airport, you don’t think you’ve ever felt your sister hug you so tight.
“i love you” she breathes out into your embrace, you hug her back equally as tight, “such a sap, bronzes don’t do that” you tease, receiving a slap on the back of your head.
it was daunting for the both of you to be apart, not really having to do that in your lives.
“i love you too” you smile, “i’ll call you when we land” lucy sniffs, hastily wiping away her tears and letting keira hug you as well. “my favourite bronze” keira smiles, both you and lucy letting out a wet laugh.
you wave them both off with a sad smile, waiting for them to go through the gate before you dragged yourself back to your car and drove off.
you went back to work at the beginning of the season, waiting for the girls to come outside to photograph their training session.
you smile and wave to familiar faces, taking a couple of test photos before you noticed a new face that you didn’t recognise at first, one of the new signings.
your eyes narrowed slightly in concentration when you looked at her, until you realised who it was. leila ouahabi.
you’ve never met her formally, only smiling at her in the hallways of national games if you had the chance. you always thought she was absolutely gorgeous, but you also appreciated the way she defended, even your sister agreeing she was incredible.
leila smiles at you, slightly surprised to recognise you slightly. the truth was, leila had been heavily looking at your social media platform ever since she laid eyes on you way back.
she thought you were gorgeous, she could tell you were a soft soul, with your charming smile and cute little face you made when you were concentrating on your camera.
she wanted to know you, she was just shy about it, not knowing to approach you, maybe this was the opportunity she needed.
training progressed, you smile pleasingly when you look back at your photos, your ultra focus showing on your facial features as you attempt to capture the best photos possible.
you were sat on the side of the pitch watching the girls train, your eyes subconsciously drifting to the spaniard.
it was until a mini game that a certain defender was chasing the ball, kicking it out and sliding directly next to you that your breathing quickened.
you look down to see her slightly wincing, heavily breathing and looking a little too attractive but that was an afterthought.
“are you okay?” you breathe out, the girl on the floor looks up at you surprised, a sly smile taking over her features.
“i’m fine, hermosa (beautiful), thank you” she winks, pushing herself up from the floor and dusting herself off, walking back to the pitch and making sure to look back at you with a flirty smile.
you blink in shock, what was that interaction?
these interactions went on, situations where you felt extremely nervous around her even when she was barely doing anything.
you were photographing the new kit, only a set amount of players selected for the campaign, and luckily for you, leila was the very last model for the day.
leila came in with her charming smile and a dray of drinks in her hands, she perks up when you make eye contact.
“good morning, hermosa (beautiful)” she grins, extending the warm drink out to you, you look at her in surprise, a grateful smile gracing your features.
“morning, leila, thank you” you take a sip and let out a pleased sigh, “how did you know this is my favourite?” you tease.
“i read your cup” she says with a flirty smile, though her cheeks tinged slightly with pink. you smile before clearing your throat.
you go through the plans for the shoot, explaining what type of photos you’ll be taking, the approach of the shoot and what you needed from her.
she maintained eye contact the entire time you spoke, nodding along with each and every word and clarifying on things when she didn’t understand.
it was almost hard to press the shutter button when leila would pose, it was a simple, basic, arms crossed - stoic football pose photo that you’ve taken numerous times in your career but something was just so different about how leila did it.
her confidence poured out of her and her smirk made your stomach flip. she was serious but loved to joke around with you when the time called for it.
the two of you basically chatting, taking a photo, chatting, taking a photo. a simple yet effective formula that you both enjoyed. so much so, leila asked you to go out on a date with her and you accepted without a second thought.
the two of you went on a couple of dates before the two of you started dating. back then it was really fresh but extremely obvious with the heart eyes you’d send each other.
the manchester girls caught on before the two of you could even process it. and the only condition for everyone was to vow their silence around your sister with the promise of the best pictures being published.
as time progressed, you both moved in together, both of you in one of the most genuine, loving relationship the two of you had ever had.
“baby, i’m working” you giggle, pressed up against a random wall, one hand on leila’s hip, camera in the other.
“amor (love), you’re not working right now” she grins cheekily, lips quickly locking with yours. one of her hands on your cheek and one on your hip holding you close to her.
you let out a little exhale from your nose in a laugh, to focused on kissing your now girlfriend of a year.
it was hard hiding it from lucy, especially when the two of you lived together. you were able to get away with it most of the time, telling your sister your roommate was just really chatty.
“baby” you mumble against her lips, attempting to push her away by the chest but the girl was attached to you, “shh, let it happen” she mockingly scolds, giving you a stern look before she kissed you breathlessly.
that’s when you hear it, the chuckles and teasing coming from familiar blondes, alex and chloe. “get it, baby bronze” alex whistles, you and leila pulled away with a roll of both of your eyes.
“don’t forget about that photo i have of you, alex” you threaten, one taken of her with an expression on her face during a header that had her screeching in fear when she saw you laughing at it.
“you’re just as annoying as your sister” alex flips you off when you blow her a kiss, laughing as they walked away.
leila squishes your cheeks together with one of her hands, forming your lips into a little pout, “mi amor (my love), those are my kisses” she grins lazily, clearly teasing you when she placed a little kiss on your forced pout.
you usher her off to training, giving her a playful slap on her backside that she shook her head at.
it was during the 2023 world cup that you both got found out, and boy was it an experience. your sister was extremely confused as to why you were so excited spain was in the final, wondering what your certain new interest about the spanish team was about.
“don’t tell me you’re a traitor, munchkin?” lucy scoffs while you set up your camera on the pitch during a pre-match walk.
“luce, i’ve got my england merch on, thank you” you laugh, shaking your head as you take a quick photo of her with an evident frown on her face, her eyes narrowed at you.
“why do you keep looking at their bench?” she questions, following your eyes to see some of the spain girls walking out to do their own checks.
“why are you so paranoid, lucia?” you tease, punching her lightly on the arm and wincing when a slap made its way to the back of your head.
“some of the girl’s play for city, i’m just being nice” you rub your head in slight pain, glaring at your older sister that she returned.
“i’ll find out, i always do” she concludes, letting you go back to taking some photos and other little media bits.
and unfortunately for you. she did find out.
the girls were lining up in the tunnel, about 5 minutes until everyone would walk out. ironically you see you sister standing next to leila in the tunnel, you try to fight your smile when you make eye contact with your girlfriend.
she smiles at you, your bodies moving on their own as you completed her pre match ritual, three quick pecks on the lips.
you both smiled brightly when you pulled back, before you heard a sharp voice coming from behind you.
“what the fuck was that?” your sister exclaimed, her hand on your shoulder and spinning you around, both yours and leila’s eyes widened, realising what had just happened. “fucking ouahabi” she breathes out in disbelief.
“i really hope you’re fucking joking, (y/n) bronze because i’m not fucking laughing” she says lowly, not wanting to attract much attention but she was.
you just look up at your sister in shock, mouth slightly agape, “nah, we’re talking about this. later” she glares, both at you and leila.
the girls walk out and you watch them dumbly as you go. you were grateful that moment wasn’t recorded.
during half time your sister wouldn’t even look at you, brushing you off like you were nothing. “don’t” she pleads, walking past you as you tried to approach her.
you walk to the tunnel and felt the tears pricking in your eyes, and like a magnet, leila’s hand found yours, dragging you into a quiet corner where the two of you could have some privacy.
as soon as your girlfriend brought you into a tight embrace, you broke down. “shh, it’s okay” she hums, kissing your cheek softly as you cried in her arms.
she pulls back slightly, looking at you with a sad expression when she saw your tear streaked face, her hand moving up to wipe away the evidence.
“i didn’t want her to find out like that, i was ready to tell her tonight” you sniffle, leila nods along with your words, listening to your little ramble intently as she comforted you.
“i know, bebé (baby), i know” she says sympathetically, pulling you into another hug and just holding you.
she stayed with you the entire time, talking you down and making you look presentable before you went back on the pitch.
she knew she would get subbed off anyway, only wanting to focus on you for the minute. you were still in a hug when lucy came out of the change room, her face softening when she saw your red eyes.
she was about to say something but she stopped herself, not wanting to do this right away. she weirdly smiles at both of you, tight lipped but still somewhat of a smile.
“it’s okay” leila whispers, and it really felt like it was.
leila kisses you softly before she makes her way back on the pitch, and of course when the match ended and england lost, the mood changed.
your sister let you hug her tightly after the loss, holding onto you for dear life as she hugged you. “luce, i’m so sorry, you played so well” you whispered, your hand rubbing up and down her back.
“i’m sorry, munchkin, we still need to talk” she sniffles, wiping away her tears and giving you a gentle smile. you nod, pulling her into another tight hug before you went off to congratulate your girlfriend, weirdly through the encouragement of your sister.
“hey, baby” you smile at your girlfriend, giving her a quick hug when she presses a quick kiss to your cheek.
“hermosa (beautiful)” she greets with a bright smile, “congratulations” you whisper, she thanks you quickly, looking over your shoulder to see your sister hovering around with tears in her eyes, walking around by herself.
“give me one second” leila whispers, gripping your hand gently and walking over to lucy, you and your sister having matching surprised expressions.
“i want to honest, i love your sister, we have been together for a year and we were going to tell you sooner but she was really scared and i respect her” she blurts out,
“i would love to talk about this with you, if you’ll let me” leila says nervously, lucy pauses for a moment before nodding, pulling leila into an extremely quick hug but extremely meaningful.
“sure thing, leila” your sister smiles, a little laugh escaping her lips, “you know, you broke rule number one” lucy teases, telling you everything was going to be okay.
“it doesn’t count! you left when she came over” you groan, letting leila tuck you into her side as she giggled, watching you and your sister bicker like kids.
she could tell how much you cared about each other. but lucy could tell the same for the both of you.
all three of you did have that talk, you and your girlfriend explained the details of your relationship to your sister that she was actually quite happy about.
she’d never seen you so happy, so light with any of your previous partners.
she could tell you both loved each other because it was so painfully obvious but she was truly happy after she let out a rant about how you literally broke every rule in the contact.
she got over it though, a hefty shopping spree having your bank account screaming for salvation.
⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆
you know the drill - pretend it’s you! ily oniiii
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leilaouahabi: biggest fan and personal photographer
view all comments
yourname: baby, my job is a photographer
↳ leilaouahabi: you’re no fun
lucybronze: hands off my sister
↳ yourname: you’re annoying
↳ lucybronze: you’re annoying
↳ leilaouahabi: i won’t touch her i swear
↳ yourname: sureeeeeeee
alexgreenwood5: so happy i don’t have to but my tongue anymore
↳ lucybronze: you knew?
↳ alexgreenwood5: no comment
leahwilliamsonn: told you!!
↳ yourname: you really did!
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abbyshands · 1 year ago
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for you
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♡ synopsis; making a home out of catalina island for years on end had been wonderful, but for most of it, you had been derived of the last piece of the puzzle: abigail anderson. you were a skilled medic, so when abby had showed up, you had cared for her, and nursed her back to the girl she was, helping her to heal, and to find home the same way you had. now, it’s abby’s chance to return the favor.
♡ pairing; abby anderson x fem!reader
♡ warnings; lot of game references, some of which include infected, the WLF, plot of the first and second game, loss, violence, etc, general angst (ish) in the beginning, but fluffy at the end, i promise, reader loses her dad in the backstory, and there’s a heavily established backstory for the reader, abby uses nicknames (my love, babe, gorgeous), reader calls abby baby, just general angst n’ fluff tbh!
♡ a/n; sooo this idea has been sitting in my notes app for the longest time, and to be honest, i’m not sure how i feel about the finished product! i don’t think it’s my best work? i don’t know. i like the idea but i’m unsure about the way i executed it. maybe i’ll revisit it at some point, but this is what i’ve got for now ♡
♡ wc; 4.5k
divider creds !
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YOUR LIPS, MY LIPS. APOCALYPSE.
If someone had told you four years prior that this is where you would be today, you would’ve checked them for a bite mark.
Because they would have been losing their mind.
2034, and all the years beforehand, were years unforgettable. The person you were couldn’t imagine a life that wasn’t the one you had. Infected roamed, and danger lurked. But love prevailed.
And you were lucky to be a part of it.
You were born in Boston, Massachusetts in the 2010’s at an unlucky hour. To an unlucky life. You had lost your mom before you could say your own name, and the only biological family you had ever gotten to know in your life was your dad, who was the reason you were where you were today in the first place.
When you were young, your dad joined a group once asked to by the leader of it, a woman named Marlene. Since then, and for as long as you could remember, this group has been your place to call home.
They called themselves the Fireflies for the very bug they took the name from: Their goal was to spread luminescence in a world full of darkness. Your dad, who was an incredibly skilled medic, was roped into it when you were younger, for that very reason. And because of the group’s dire need for medics at the time, their leader, Marlene, who was an old friend of your dad’s, asked him to join, all but begged him to, really.
Your dad wasn’t one to deny anyone in need. It was in his nature, and it was why he was such a great medic. So, of course, he agreed.
But only if there would be a place for you, too.
Your dad raised you up as a member of the Fireflies, and then later as a medic, and it was because of him that you were who you were: A resilient individual, a survivor, and yet, a person who embodied compassion, just as he did.
The years went by hazily, the older you got, anyway. You became just as immersed into your work as your dad did, bettering your medical knowledge on a daily basis, be it by old books, rusted cassettes, or your dad himself. But all the while, you managed to balance work, love, and family, and, in a world like this one, that was a lot more than most people could say.
For obvious reasons, you couldn’t remember the 2010’s. Then came the 2020’s, which sped by your eyes. But the 2030’s as a general consensus were years ingrained into your brain. Full of friendship, family, and love? At times. But they also encompassed chaos, despair, and pressure, and changed your life forever.
And forever was a long time.
In the year 2033, all that you believed was true about the world as you knew it, crumbled to the ground. In a land following an apocalypse, it wasn’t uncommon to feel as if there was no way out, as if the life you lived had hit a place of no return.
Now, if only there was a way to fix it. A cure, right?
It was late one evening while you were working on somebody in the Fireflies’ medical center, that Marlene came into the room, expression serious, and voice showing for it. Once you had the person you had been caring for under control, you followed Marlene out of the center, and into a room of a pair of people, one familiar, and one not.
Your dad, and a man who would later become a crucial figure in this tale: Surgical expert, Doctor Jerry Anderson.
You didn’t understand what Marlene, your dad, and Mr. Anderson, as you used to call him, were getting at when you were first pulled into that room. All that they were explaining to you was blurring inside of your head.
Because it was unlike anything you had heard before.
Your ears were told a tale that you had heard on numerous occasions. A girl who was only a few years younger than you, was bitten. You weren’t sure how. But it didn’t really matter, did it? Everyone who was bitten turned into an animal in a matter of days. It didn’t matter how she had gotten the bite mark. It didn’t even matter where on her body the mark was. All you knew was that in a few days, this girl that was being described to you, would no longer be human. That she would no longer have control over her body, and she would no longer know right from wrong, up from down, man from woman. All she would know, was kill. Kill. Kill.
Unless she was one in a million.
Ellie Williams was hardly a human in your mind when you originally heard, but a God given chance, to fix the world as you knew it. You never believed you would live to see the day where a bite mark was a good thing, and yet, it was here, gazing you in the eyes.
Immunity. She was immune. The auburn haired girl had been bitten three weeks prior to the date you heard about this, and zilch. As Marlene had explained to you, it was like the mark was healing, not worsening. 
And in a desolate world, where danger lurked every corner, where sorrow was normalized, and where loss was ceaseless, you were desperate. The Fireflies were desperate. Hope like this didn’t come on a daily basis, now, did it?
You jumped on the prospect as soon as you became conscious of it. All of you did.
Graciously unaware that it would blow up in your face.
In the earlier days of 2034, Ellie was smuggled to a Firefly base in Salt Lake City, a medical center, where your dad, Mr. Anderson, and several Fireflies were residing. As head medic by this point, you decided to remain in Boston caring for the members of your group back home, especially in the absence of your dad and Mr. Anderson.
It’s your life’s biggest regret.
Marlene had asked that you come to the Salt Lake City medical center as soon as you could, and to employ someone else to take over for a bit. Mr. Anderson was a good doctor, but he had decided that to perform proper surgery on Ellie, he would need a few more hands. You were honored that it was you he had chosen. To you, it was on the same level as getting an award. And so, alongside Marlene, and a few more members of the group, you made your way to Salt Lake City, your hopes in your hands, and dreams in your heart.
There was a point during the journey, however, where you ran into some trouble. Infected. And naturally, you were not just a medic: You knew how to survive in a world like this, and you knew how to hold your ground.
Splitting up wasn’t usually recommended when it came to any scenario, and for good reasons. However, it was your only choice. You and everyone beside you aside from Marlene, split up to make sure that she was the first one to make it to the medical center. You remember the last thing you said to her like a movie on loop in your head. See you soon.
And it plagues your brain like the virus that grips your world.
See you soon. You wish you had never said it. You wish you had never split up.
You wish it hadn’t happened.
You did see Marlene. But she was no longer alive when it happened. Fear grasped your bones as your body paralyzed, eyes glued to Marlene’s bloody corpse on the second floor of the medical center’s parking garage.
Tears filled your eyes, slipping down your cheeks. And then, you remembered.
Dad.
You took off running, brain not even processing that you could be putting yourself in danger by doing so. Whoever had done this to Marlene couldn’t be faraway from the building for all you knew. Hell, they could even be in it. But you didn’t care.
You booked it to the highest floor, where your dad and Mr. Anderson were supposed to be, heart racing, begging and bargaining to the universe, or whatever God there was, or somebody, to ensure that they were okay. That they were just fine.
There are some days where you wish you hadn’t opened that door.
The pair of them, alongside a third medic in the room, were found by you in a shape similar to Marlene. Naturally, you ran to dad first, small, shaky hands reaching out to flip over his face down body.
But you were too late.
Your mind goes blurry whenever it goes back to recall the memory. You don’t remember much: Tears, nausea, shaking, panic. You remember screaming, loudly, at that.
And you remember passing out, before being pulled out of the room.
The second that Jerry Anderson was announced dead, all hell broke loose, and you knew, you knew, it was over. The chance that had been driving you and your family of Fireflies for the last year, was gone, and it wasn’t coming back. Unless a brand new surgeon was going to generously drop from the sky, you were hopeless. 
And it wasn’t even just that.
Because the universe had taken from you the one person you held closest to your heart. To your soul.
Dad.
You had a chance. You all did. 
And, then, it was robbed away from you.
You and your dying group made your way back to Boston knowing just that: That you were collapsing. The days passed by in blurs, each one gloomier than the last. You just weren’t sure what to do anymore. All hope for a cure was gone. All hope for yourself was gone.
In 2036, the Fireflies were disbanded by what little members of it were around to do so, and that was it. It was over. 
Your home was paradise, and paradise was gone.
You didn’t know what to do. Most of the family you had found here in the Fireflies was leaving, searching for a life away from the one you all had known for years. You didn’t know if you wanted to do the same. Part of you wanted to follow suit and leave Boston. Renew who you were. Adapt, and move on. But Boston had always been home, and by leaving it, you were leaving a part of you behind.
But you didn’t have a choice.
It was an early morning in 2036 when you began to pack your bags, readying to go. Where? It didn’t matter. All you knew was that home or not, Boston carried way too many painful memories, way more than you could bear. Marlene was dead. Mr. Anderson was dead. Dad was gone.
You didn’t see what else Boston had to give, that it hadn’t already taken away.
But just, just, when you were about to say your goodbyes, the universe, who had screwed you over in the past, clearly had different plans.
A few members had heard word, from previous members who had left the Fireflies before you, that on the west coast of the country, there was a chance: A chance to find home again, in a place named Catalina Island, a gorgeous land in California.
Risks had failed you before, and so had second chances. But, for once, you wanted to give in. You had to.
So you did.
That’s not to say that the second you got to Catalina Island, finding home once again in your fellow Fireflies, who were just as shattered as you were, that your tale was over. God, it was really, really far from it.
Because there was one more piece to the puzzle.
Abigail Anderson.
Anderson. The last name rang a bell once it escaped her lips. A blonde woman, body bruised, bloodied, and covered from the arms down in oozing gashes. Her hair was short and poorly cut, and from the way her bones were pushing into her skin, you could tell that she was severely malnourished.
Alongside her was a boy, obviously younger than her. Tousled black hair, bruises wherever you looked, and fully unconscious. In your time at Catalina Island, and as a Firefly in Boston, for that matter, you had never seen any pair of people in worse shape.
Not unless they were dead.
You remained head medic once you arrived in Catalina Island, naturally, and you had been managing that way for the last four years. So, when this woman showed up, this young boy by her side, like this, it was you who took control. It was you who nursed them, and it was you who made their scars, in a physical and mental sense, not disappear, but easier to handle. To bear.
By looking at them, by looking at her, it was like a mirror. You saw you.
Which is why you saw her.
Now, if someone had told you four years prior that this is where you would be today, losing your dad, losing Marlene, and losing Mr. Anderson, but falling for his child, you would’ve looked for a bite mark. But now, come the year 2040, where you had made a new life, one that Abigail Anderson was a prevalent part of, happiness no longer seemed impossible.
Because it wasn’t far away anymore, slipping from your fingers, the way it had on numerous occasions. 
It was in your hands.
And you were in Abby’s.
Your eyes were being covered by Abby’s large hands as she led you to a place unknown. You had to assume it was one of the several beaches on the island, sand under your feet, sounds of waves in your ears. A smile had been plastered across your face for what seemed like hours, as Abby dragged you along.
“Come on, Abby. Are you going to tell me what this is about or what?” you asked her for the second time in the last minute. You could hear her low chuckle from behind you, and the way it always happens, comfort surges into your veins.
You had learned from Abby, once you bonded over the mutual loss of your dad and hers at the same man, that once Mr. Anderson had been killed, her and her friends, a few former members of the Fireflies, joined a group named the WLF. You had hence learned that during her time there, she was commonly known as a rugged, scary person, who a lot of people in the WLF didn’t dare insult, nor disobey.
And you couldn’t lie: It was hard to believe that for a second.
You had learned from Abby, also, that her resolve began to slip when she met the young boy who she had made it to Catalina Island alongside, who you had also taken care of: Lev. To put it simply, Lev was a member of a different group, that the WLF was never supposed to come across.
Not unless it was in war.
But he changed her. He did. Some days, you could see how guarded Abby was, how she couldn’t help going back to all she used to know, which was being all but barbaric when she was in Seattle. Closed off, wary. But most days, like today? You knew in your heart, that deep down in hers, Abby Anderson was good. Not innocent, but good.
And that was enough for you.
“Just come on!” Abby chuckled as she walked, not letting up her hold on your eyes for a second as she led you along.
You smiled, shaking your head in mock disapproval. “I have work to do back at the center, and we’re not supposed to be roaming around like this. You know that, right?”
“Babe,” Abby responded in an almost firm tone of voice as her feet quit moving, forcing you to root your body to the spot. It was silent, before she pressed a series of sweet, sloppy kisses to your neck and cheeks, managing to keep her hand over your eyes all the while. She had you crumbling just like that, making you a giggling mess as her lips met your skin.
Her kisses subsided once a million of them seeped into you, and it wasn’t the island heat that had your face warm when Abby was done. “Can you just trust me, please?” she laughed, and you didn’t need your vision to know she was giving you that puppy dog look that had you falling to your knees every time. The one that you couldn’t resist if you gave it your all.
You were too easy. “Yes.”
It wasn’t long before you and Abby reached where she wanted to bring you, and once you did, she paused. She was perched behind you now, large hands over your face, the solacing sound of her sighs coming into your ears. “Okay. Are you ready, my love?”
There wouldn't ever be a day where Abby calling you that wouldn’t make your heart pound in your chest.
“More than,” you easily respond.
As soon as you said it, Abby returned your vision to you, and your eyes can’t help but widen at what you see before you.
Because you never pegged “rugged” Abby Anderson as one for picnics.
“Oh, my God, Abby,” you said more to yourself than the blonde as you slowly approached the scene. Laid out on the sand of the beach was a picnic blanket, a folded blanket, a few pillows, a basket, a few books, and playing cards.
Accompanied by a perfect view of the beach.
“Do you not like it?” Abby asked, and there’s an air of sadness to the way she says it. You turn to look at her on cue, your face one of complete, utter disbelief.
Like it?
“Like it? Baby, I love this. More than know,” you respond, meaning every word. It’s been a long time since someone has wanted to care for you. A long, long time, since you had been the receiver, not the giver.
“Abs, it’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
You can see Abby blushing as you approach her and take her face into your hands, her freckled skin burning in heat. She leans into your touch, pressing her forehead onto yours, and holding your hands in her own.
“I just,” Abby sighed, opening her eyes once more to meet yours, solemn expression across her cheeks. “I just don’t feel like I cherish you enough, babe, show it, that is. Because believe me, I do cherish you. S’just, it’s been hard for me to show you how much. All that you did for me and Lev when we got to the island. Taking care of us. Helping us find a home here. I’ll spend the rest of my life saying thank you for it.”
You can feel your soul healing the more Abby speaks.
“I know this isn’t nearly enough to make up for what you did for us, and I wish it was. But I just figured, maybe. . .it could suffice for now.”
“Abby, baby,” you let a small laugh escape your lips as you say it. “You don’t have to make it up to me. At all. I did what I did, because I saw someone in you. I remember asking for your name, and you responded by asking me where Lev was. You didn’t even care what shape you were in. All you wanted to know was if he was okay. You reminded me of me.”
“You reminded me of dad.”
You couldn’t help but sigh, letting silence seep into the air around you as your brain battled to process what you had just said. You didn’t speak on your dad as much as you likely should: Abby knew that, and so did you. Talking about him made your chest compress, and your throat would fail you, making it feel as if you were choking. As if you were helpless. As if you were there all over again. But Abby knew as well as you did, that when your dad came into discussion, it was for a certain reason. 
And for that reason, Abby didn’t speak: She hung fire. For you. For you.
“We live in a world where people combat their own morals just to survive. There’s no good guys. No principles, no rules, no laws. Anyone you come across is just as bad as you, and if not, they’re worse. But when I saw you? I knew. I knew that wasn’t you. Not anymore.”
You know you’re rambling by now, saying whatever comes to mind as soon as it does, but you can’t find it in you to care as you go on. “You want to believe I don’t know how much you care for me. But you don’t need to show it, Abby. I know you do. Right here.”
You take one of Abby’s large hands into yours, and as cliché as it is, not that you care at all, you place it over your heart.
“You feel that, don’t you? That’s all for you, baby. And it’s there that I feel how much you care about me. It’s there that I know.”
The same silence that was here before comes back. But this time, it’s not sad, or dark, or eerie. It’s solacing. It’s warm. It’s home.
And Abby doesn’t need words in order to respond.
It’s her turn to take your face into her hands as she pulls you in close. Her lips meet yours like they have so many times before, her familiar scent hitting your nose as you settle your hands onto her hips. The kiss is slow, and sweet, but passionate, and a burning desire surges inside you to never let her go, to always hold her close. To always call her yours.
You pull back from the kiss once you tire from it, gasping, Abby’s body mimicking yours as she does the same. You gaze into her eyes, the pretty blue ones that always make your heart swell, smiling up at her as you press one last kiss to her lips for good measure. “I adore you, Abby Anderson. You know that, right?” you grin.
It’s the first time you ever hear her giggle. “Me more than you, gorgeous.”
You spend hours there alongside Abby, and it’s the best time of your life. You spend time indulging in a few snacks the blonde packed for you, playing cards, and running around and playing in the sand, smiling all the way. You even get to hear Abby read to you, one of the most endearing things in the world, accompanied by the calming sound of the ocean before you. And when it came time for sunset, you sat down beside Abby, gazing on as amber, ochre, and rose faded into night.
It was perfect.
When it was nearly time for the evening to come to an end, you used the second blanket Abby had packed for your shared night to cuddle up beside her, heads rested on the pillows she had carried along as well. The side of your face was pressed into her chest as you gazed into the sky above you, Abby’s hand rubbing your back in slow circles to console you. Small suns coat the evening sky like sweet, powdered sugar, accompanied by a full moon that looks incredible over the horizon. All you could hear was the sound of the ocean, alongside Abby sighing gingerly every once in a while, or her pressing kisses to your forehead.
Not that you needed much more than that.
Suddenly, the sound of Abby chuckling in your ears snaps you out of your head, and you turn your face upwards curiously. Abby’s smile makes you smile, and it’s no surprise you began to wonder what the blonde woman found so funny all of a sudden.
“Remember how I told you Lev and I had to cross those bridges that were really high up?” Abby asked, and you had to raise an eyebrow, wondering where this was going. “Mhm,” you mumble, which is when Abby goes on.
“Well, before that, we had to get there by foot once we got out of the aquarium I told you about, the one I used to go to all of the time. That part of Seattle is overrun in rushing rapids, so a lot of the buildings around there were a lot more demolished than they usually would be anywhere else,” she explained.
“And, well. . .”
“We walked into this building, and there was a painting of these dogs playing cards. And I asked Lev if he knew our dogs could really play cards like that. Then he asked me if anyone found me funny,” Abby laughed. “It cracks me up whenever I remember it.”
She wasn’t the only one laughing. “Sounds like Lev. And like you,” you smile, and the tale makes you recall a humorous memory of your own. “Once, I was working late at the medical center back in Boston. I was doing research on this girl who had been feeling sick, but I wasn’t sure by what. Mind you, it’s late, and silent, if you don’t count me flipping the pages in my books.”
You giggle just remembering it. “It’s the weirdest thing ever, but my dad was really good at making Clicker noises. Like, really good. Sounded so real it made your heart drop. I was reading when I heard it, and I remember wondering how the hell infected had gotten inside. ‘Course I grab what was closest to me, a scalpel, and I swivel around.”
“And it’s dad.”
That one got Abby to burst out chuckling. “Oh, my God. Of all the things you could get, gorgeous. A scalpel?”
You rolled your eyes in response, playfully so. “What can I say? I’m just a medic. I didn’t carry a gun.”
Once Abby’s done laughing, which seems to take forever, she smiles down at you, pressing one more kiss to your forehead as if to make up for poking fun at you. You cuddle closer into her, letting your body relax in her embrace as a sigh escapes your lips.
You fall back into silence soon enough, eyes glued to the sky as Abby rubs her hand over your back, holding you like you would fade away if she let you go. You run your fingers through her short hair as you press kisses to her neck, jaw, and face, giving her all the love you know she deserves. Your eyes scan her features like she was molded by some higher power, and you can’t help but want to worship her, endlessly.
Not just for what she looks like. But for who she is.
“My baby. It’s like you were made for me, you know?” you whisper in Abby’s ear as your eyes pierce into her blue ones. But Abby’s head shook quickly.
You can predict what she’s going to say in response. “No, gorgeous.”
“It’s you who was made for me.”
reblogs are very much welcomed! <3
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haveyouplayedthisttrpg · 2 months ago
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It's that time again where i remind you all wonderful people to feed me more submissions for ttrpg (not board games, not wargames). Ttrpgs are great. Ttrpgs are cool. and one day we may reach 1000 games polled on this blog. You can post submissions here : https://forms.gle/ypv2B19swjQCNRwY9
You can check which games have already been polled or submitted here : https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1vg_mLcUjYJjP04qDrFSBnR8h4_2FdEaT2n70up7l7nI/edit?usp=sharing
Be they from the 70s, the 80s or part of nowaday indie explosion, be they from anywhere in the world, available in english or not, share them. Though if the game is not availabble in english, i would appreciate image links Also some rules i apply when putting the submissions into a poll :
different editions don't count as separate entries
If a game was crowdfunded but not yet publically available, i will wait for it to be available to everyone at least in pdf before putting it in a poll
5e games are 5e games, we have enough of these already and honestly they feel more like supplements to me.
if the game is older than the 2010s or not from the US, it has a higher chance of showing up early because i try to alternate and those are rarer. (2020s are more than 50% of the game already polled, and US more than 60%)
PS : Only 23.08% of the 598 ( at time of writing) finished polls have a "Never heard of" percentage lower than 50%. I am happy to help the 77% get more known.
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kjupchurch-xx · 9 months ago
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Conflicting Feelings Part Six
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As the morning sunset swept through my hotel room's balcony view, I felt Hugh begin stirring in his sleep, "G'day, gorgeous." He said sleepily as I felt him start stretching. 
I smiled, "Good morning, sexy." I purred, leaning up to peck his lips before moving out of the bed towards the bathroom to turn on the shower. 
Today was going to be bittersweet. I was going back home today, my stay in LA had come to an end. It was time for me to head back to the East Coast, to the beautiful, busy town of New York City. Hugh was in LA for the filming of the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie, so I'd be going back to NYC solo. Truth be told, I missed my condo in New York, but I knew I'd miss my favorite Aussie even more. 
Now that things are beginning to happen, the thought of leaving breaks my heart. I didn't realize I was reacting to my thoughts until his voice interrupted the thoughts racing through my brain. I felt two arms snake around me, "What's wrong, my love?" He asked softly. 
I sniffled, quickly wiping a fallen tear from my cheek, "I'm leaving today to go back home." I said as my voice trembled. 
He frowned, "Today?" He asked, making sure he heard me correctly. I nodded, staying silent, trying to control my flooding emotions. "Do you have to go back home today?" He asked. 
I sighed, "I paid for a round trip, so my flight's already booked. I can't get a refund and I can't afford to lose the money." 
He kissed my forehead, "I'll take care of it." He said simply. 
I looked at him, shaking my head. "I can't let you do that." 
He smiled, "I want to and I can." pecking my lips again. 
I rolled my eyes, "I don't want you doing that. I paid for first class and that's not cheap." 
He chuckled, "You do realize I make millions, right love? I'm making $20 million from Deadpool. I can assure you a first class plane ticket will not break me."
I shrugged, "And I'm staying where?" 
He looked at his phone, "With Noldsy and Blake, and of course me. You have to babysit their kids from time to time, but it's not that bad." He chuckled.  
I looked at him, "You seriously want me to cancel my flight?" I asked, grabbing my phone. 
He pouted, "I would be heartbroken if you didn't." 
I smiled, "And Ryan and Blake are okay with this?" I questioned. 
He rolled his eyes, "C'mon, you know Ryan and Blake love you." 
I sighed, "Okay, if you insist..." I logged onto my app and canceled my flight, luckily receiving a 50% refund for a last minute cancellation from the flight insurance I'd purchased when I first paid for the ticket. "It's cancelled." I said, throwing my phone down, pulling him into the shower with me. 
As we washed off he spoke, "We'll drop your rental car off when we head out. We can take mine back to Ryan and Blake's." 
I nodded, "Okay, but I need to make a stop and get some more clothes. I packed for five days and I'm not wearing the same outfits for another week." 
He kissed my forehead, while rinsing my hair out, "We can do that." 
After our shower and packing up the hotel room, we parted ways to drop off my rental car, Hugh following close behind me in his. 
Hugh's POV:  
As I followed close behind her, I was overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the course of knowing her. We'd met each other in 2020 when she starred as an extra on a show I was working on. I had very little interaction with her on the show, but backstage was a different story. She approached me and told me how she was starstruck to work with Wolverine, which made me laugh. 
She was only 22 years old when I met her, I was 51, turning 52. She was an attractive young woman. She was funny, she was intelligent and she was humble. I thought nothing about her until we'd cut up on set and spent hours talking. She had a boyfriend and I had a wife at home, not to mention I like older women. We'd remained friends until she came to my rescue when my father died. That's when things went wild for me. Several things took place that her pride will not allow her to talk about, but I couldn't stop thinking about them. 
When I arrived back to NYC and to Deb, I separated myself from her. COVID made it easier. I kept trying to block the feelings out because I knew they were wrong. I forced myself to focus on Deb, and Deb only, but that only made us grow further apart in our marriage. 
While in England, not only did I walk in on her changing and saw her breasts, there was one night she had too much to drink and confessed many things to me that she has no memory of. She talked about her difficult upbringing, she talked about her failed relationships, but she doesn't have any recollection of admitting to me that she loved me and dreamed that one day I'd be hers. Or how if my marriage ever ends, she was claiming me for herself. That night, I'd had a few drinks myself and we shared a kiss. 
I thought about how after I walked in on her, she'd became what I'd imagine when I'd wank off. I'd imagine how perfect her breasts were, how I wanted to run my hands down every curve on her body as I fucked her, and how her pussy would taste, or how tight it would be around my fingers. I thought about how much I'd want to pleasure her and make her orgasm so much that she couldn't function anymore. Just the thought of her made my dick throb.
But, it was more than just sex with her. She was genuinely my favorite human being, besides my children and of course, Ryan Reynolds. She was there for me during one of the hardest times of my life. She keeps me grounded and focused on the bigger picture, even if I struggle to see it. I'd spent 20 years thinking I was with the love of my life, until I realized I didn't know the meaning of it when she came to England that night. 
Main Reader's POV: 
As we arrived at the drop-off for the rental car, I quickly returned the keys, heading back outside only to be bombarded by photographers. They photographed Hugh, me, us in the car together, etc as they asked if we were an item. 
"They're fucking relentless, jesus christ." I mumbled. 
He chuckled, "You act like you haven't had the press bother you." 
I giggled, "Not to that extent. That was different."
He reached over grabbing my hand, interlocking it with his, bringing it to his lips, placing a small kiss on my knuckles, "Did you want to get clothes now?" 
I blushed, shaking my head, "Let's get to Ryan's first. Let them calm down and then we'll go." I said regarding the photographers. 
He chuckled, "Okay, we can do that." 
The drive to Ryan's wasn't long. It was full of Hugh singing along to songs on the radio. He had a beautiful voice and hearing it on screen was nothing compared to hearing it in person. About 5 minutes later, we arrived at Ryan's place. Ryan and Blake weren't home. Ryan was filming scenes and Blake was promoting her new movie. The kids were with a nanny since Nanny Hugh had been MIA all weekend. 
As we walked in and made it to the bedroom Hugh was staying in, he ran his fingers through his beard, "I've gotta shave this." He said to himself. 
I smirked, "Can I help?" 
He giggled, "Can you do the Wolverine shave? It has to be perfect for the film." 
I shrugged, "It can't be too hard to shave mutton chops."
"Shawn will kill me if you fuck this up." He laughed, handing me a set of clippers. 
I giggled, grabbing them. "I won't fuck this up. Do you know how in love with Logan I was as a child?" 
He playfully rolled his eyes, "Don't say it like that. It makes me feel old and it's making me feel weird. You know I was 32 or 33 when I filmed that."
I shrugged, "I was 4 when it was released." 
He cringed, "God, stop. Let's talk about something else." 
I chuckled as I began shaving the infamous mutton chops, "I love making you uncomfortable." I said playfully. 
He looked up at me, "I'm not giving you a reaction while you're shaving my face, but I've noticed." 
As I finished up showing him my kick ass skills as a barber, we heard a voice downstairs, "Oh, Hugh! Where you at big fella?! It's your favorite Canadian. A little birdie called the media just told me you're with a hot little number. Is she here?" 
We quickly jumped at the sound of his voice, looking at one another, making a run for the door to meet him downstairs.  Ryan looked at us, still wearing the Deadpool suit, "Ah, there she is. Hot little number, this is my humble abode" He chuckled as he swayed his arms around showing me his living room. 
"Why are you in your suit, mate? They actually let you bring Deadpool's suit home?" Hugh asked, smirking, knowing Ryan was instructed to not leave set with the suit. 
Ryan smirked, "Sir, I will have you know, I stole this suit." 
I joked, "Levy is going to beat you."
Ryan laughed, "He can try, but no one can beat me in this suit, darling." 
I rolled my eyes, "Mutton Chops! Look at you." He exclaimed at Hugh, noticing the freshly shaved face. 
Hugh laughed as Ryan's face got serious, "Seriously though, I have a question for you." He said, pointing towards me. 
"And that is?" I asked, furrowing my brows. 
Ryan looked at Hugh and I, "We're rounding up people to play the Deadpool variants. Blake is Lady Deadpool, but there's another female one. Do you want to do it?" He asked. 
I gasped, "Are you serious?" my eyes widened. 
He smirked, "As a heart attack, sister. Plus, I figured it would give Hughy here more time to spend with you."  
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maevstar · 8 months ago
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| Introducing myself in my fame dr ᯓᡣ𐭩
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ᝰ. My name is Maeve Amelie Solace, but people usually call me by “Mae”.
ᝰ. I’m 26yo and I’m an A-list american actress and singer. (I was born in 1997 but I didn’t turned 27 yet).
ᝰ. I started my way on acting when I was 16 when my older brother was doing a play on high school and begged me to participate. I did, and since then I’ve been in love with acting.
ᝰ. When I graduated from high school i moved out from my hometown — Austin, Texas — to LA and entered to UCLA School of Theater.
ᝰ. My first big project in Hollywood was “The Edge of Seventeen” when I was 19-20yo, before that I just worked with small projects, mostly from my uni.
ᝰ. That project gave me more visibility in the industry and I became more well known.
ᝰ. Some of my films: The Edge of Seventeen, The School for Good and Evil (adaptation of the books), Lady bird, Scream 4 (2018), Little Woman, Causeway, We Live in a Time, Challengers, Me Before You, Glass Onion 2, Duna, Anyone but You, Don’t look up, No hard feelings, Don’t worry darling, The outrun, and etc.
ᝰ. Some of my shows: Supernatural (Claire Novak), Looking for Alasca, YOU, outer banks (season 4).
ᝰ. I’ve been nominated for the Oscar 4 times as the best Actress in a Leading Role, but I’m just gonna win the award in the 4th time (2024). Futhermore, i’ve won a lot of awards and nominations like Emmy’s and Golden Globes. In 2022, I entered the list of The Most Influential People by Time Magazine.
Now, my singer career:
ᝰ. My mom is a country singer — not much known — in Texas, so I’ve grew up loving music, and I’ve been writing songs since I was 15, but these never turned into real songs, until 2019-2020, when I recorded my EP’s.
ᝰ. My first EP is called “Minor” and it has 7 songs. I released it in 2019 just for fun, was some songs that I’ve been writing during the years. In 2020 I released more 2 EPs, called “Bittersweet” and “Good Riddance”, with 7 and 10 songs respectively, again, just for fun.
ᝰ. Now, my new coming up project on music is my first Album, called “The Secret Of Us”, it has 13 songs (+ 7 from deluxe) and all of them will have a music video, cause my objective is making a visual album.
ᝰ. With my new album, I intend to go on my first tour.
Fun facts about me:
ᝰ. I know ballet and gymnastics cause when my sister was 8 years old she wanted to learn but was scared to do it alone, so I used to go to classes with her.
ᝰ. I have 3 siblings, Will, Kayla and Austin. Will is 2 years older than me, Kayla is younger than me 4 years and Austin is 8 years younger than me. (Another fun fact is that Austin is adopted).
ᝰ. My s/o is Drew Starkey, I met him in a party at Maddie Cline’s house (2021). Also, Madelyn is my best friend and I’m very close to the cast of the outer banks too.
ᝰ. I’m in fact brazilian. I was born there but my family moved to the US when I was 8 — my father is brazilian but my mom is from us, she was in a trip when met my dad in brazil and blablabla — so I have dual nationality. (latinas are better lol). But when I was 14, I moved again to Brazil and lived there for almost 2 years with my aunt before I came back to US.
ᝰ. When I was 16, I made a YouTube channel with my brother Will and we used to talk about the most random things ever (btw it was a flop lol, this channel just came up when we became famous). (another fun fact is that he is also a well known actor, but more on theater plays than on screen).
ᝰ. When I was in high school, I was planning on going to med school — mostly because of my dad, he’s a doctor (my obsession with greys anatomy might got me inclined to that too🤭) — but then I fell in love with acting (when I was 16, like i said) and never quit. Besides that, I’m still very interested with things related to science and human body, stuff like that; most of things that I know are bc of my dad tho.
ᝰ. I’m polyglot. I speak Portuguese, English, Italian, Spanish and a bit of French and Latin. I also know ASL.
ᝰ. I still don’t know how to ride bikes without training wheels cause no one ever taught me (😭).
ᝰ. I love the sea, beaches, everything related to that, it’s one of my favorite places in the world.
mood boards; mood boards details;
─────── ୨ৎ ───────
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zshiftsrealities · 4 months ago
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HOW SHIFTING FOUND ME A SECOND TIME, AND HOW TO BELIEVE SHIFTING IS REAL?
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this is my personal take on the topic, and i'm not saying everyone will benefit from this advice because different people work differently. but this worked for me, and I hope that if you find this; this'll work for you too.
for me personally, I don't think "scientific proof" ever helped me believe shifting was real. I found the CIA document back in 2020-2021, and it still didn't change my view on shifting whatsoever. yeah, it was proof that it was real, but my mind didn't accept that. maybe "science" wasn't proof enough because to me science is always lagging behind everything else (from a religious aspect).
even after learning about how the mind works, the subconscious, etc etc and everything else and how it's proved by science still didn't help me at all.
eventually, I left the shifting community, and shifting in general. I completely stopped and thought "oh maybe once i'm older, and i'm somewhere with no noise, ideal setting, blah blah blah, I'll pick it up again". bullshit, I know. but because I just didn't believe it, I felt like making an excuse to not let myself feel bad.
so now, i'm completely out of the "shifting every night" phase, and back to "normal" routine. however, anytime I would watch some show, anime, movie, even some video on my feed of some beautiful place — anything, my mind would go "oh, I can shift there" or "oh, I'd like to shift there". but still, I discarded that thought.
then last year (2024), I decided to watch My Hero Academia from the beginning once again (cause why not), and throughout, I kept thinking "I want to shift there". and then, Shigaraki/AFO "killed" Katsuki in the Final War Arc. I cried ugly for so long, and kept thinking "no no no, that's not happening. i'm going to shift there and beat Shigaraki up for this" (I didn't even like Katsuki back then).
and so, I started to search, once again, about shifting. shifting storytimes, tiktoks, anything; everything. keep in mind I still had the doubt if shifting was even real.
now onto the topic of how to believe shifting is real? how I believed shifting was real, was by finding this one shifter on youtube; Cadmus (Shifting with Cad). I watched her videos, and the sincerity in her tone, the glimmer in her eyes when she would be telling an experience, and that smile of "relief" of finally getting to experience something so amazing yet so simple, is what made me believe in shifting.
obviously, I didn't just see her once and go "I totally believe it's real". it was a process, a slightly longer one, but one that was absolutely natural. anytime I would think that it was all a big lie, i'd think back to her and go "she can't be lying, I just know it. and that's what slowly, but surely made me believe that it is infact real.
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so my advice to anyone who, despite knowing the scientific evidence of it, and knowing the science behind it all, still doubts shifting; is that find someone, a creater, a blogger, just anyone in general who, when you hear them talk about their experiences, you feel that they're absolutely not lying, even with all the doubts you have — and believe them until you don't need to believe them to believe that shifting is real.
it's okay to doubt, you don't have to beat yourself up over it. just know that at the end of the day, the world you see exists only through you, and if your eyes were to close the very next moment, your world would end with you. so believe the craziest things ever without logic, because you simply can.
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diamond-champagne · 9 months ago
Text
Point of View
Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd
In which sometimes you need someone else's POV
Part II
It's like you got superpowers
Turn my minutes into hours
Paige is struggling
She’s tired from the lack of sleep, sore from practice, and stressed from school. Paige isn’t necessarily sure when she started to feel like everything was too much but everyday she feels herself giving way to the pressure and expectations that she and others place on her. 
The blonde isn’t sure when it all got to be so hard. It wasn’t always this difficult but somewhere between studying on planes and not getting enough sleep something in her had snapped. 
It was like those huge buckets at the waterpark that slowly filled with water and on a set interval turned to drench all the little ones with water. Except there was nothing playful or even exciting about how Paige was feeling. She was simply just waiting to tilt over; to let it all out. And when everything became too much and she spilled over, Paige would adjust herself and keep it moving because she doesn’t have time to dwell in it; whatever it is. Not when there’s workouts to be had, homework to do, and events to attend. 
So, Paige pushed through despite how much she didn’t want to. She pushed through practice, studying, and she’s pushing through the group outing at Ted’s. The blonde doesn’t want to go but she doesn’t want to miss out on what could possibly be her favorite moments with her favorite people. The basketball player also doesn’t want anyone to think less of her or know she’s anything less than 100 percent. 
It takes damn near all of her energy but she manages. Cue fake laughter here and a small joke there. Insert a smirk there and faux interest here. Every movement planned and placated specifically to not raise any eyebrows. 
But then Azzi arrives and suddenly Paige isn’t acting anymore because her laugh is real and the banter is effortless. Her smirk is natural and she hangs onto every word that Azzi says because she wants to memorize her voice for years to come. Slowly but surely the dark cloud that has been a permanent fixture over Paige has evaporated and the body that used to lag with exhaustion is now buzzing with energy.
The best friends have only been engaging in conversation for a few minutes but Paige swears that Azzi has been fighting off the looming darkness for a lifetime. 
You got more than 20-20, babe
Made of glass the way you see through me
You know me better than I do
Can't seem to keep nothing from you
Maybe Azzi has been fighting off the dark cloud that seems to follow Paige. It seems to be the case when she shows up at the older girl’s apartment one day to demand answers. 
Paige doesn’t immediately give in though, wanting to not bother her best friend with her own battles. Her not being able to swim does not mean Azzi is to drown.
“What are you talking about?” Paige asks. The blonde thinks she might have gotten too good at lying because the way her voice goes up a pitch and her head cocks to the side is so natural to her, she almost believes that she doesn’t know what Azzis is really asking her. Almost.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Bueckers.” Azzi growls. The use of her last name makes Paige flinch and that makes Azzi soften. The curly-haired girl is simply tugging on the tether that keeps them connected and afloat. The last thing she wants to do is push them further away. So despite the frustration that flows through her veins, she takes a deep breath before reaching for her favorite blonde-haired girl. 
“Tell me what’s wrong.” Azzi whispers in Paige's ear as she engulfs her in a hug. Her tone is soft like she’s trying not to scare her blue-eyed girl away. It is accompanied by a soft hand that runs from the base of her neck to the end of her back. 
Paige doesn’t know what exactly causes her to break like a cheap rubber band but suddenly she wipes one tear. And another. And another until there’s too many and her body is shaking. 
She guesses that despite not wanting her team to know, she wishes that someone did; that someone cared enough to see when she wasn’t okay.
Azzi knew. Of course she did.
How you touch my soul from the outside?
Permeate my ego and my pride
“Babe, tell me what’s wrong.” Azzi gently demands of her best friend. The words acted as a key for a lock that Paige didn’t know existed because suddenly she can’t stop talking. 
She’s going on and on about her classes and then work and the team. How everything is too much. How it’s all pulling her in different directions. How she feels the need to be everything to everyone and nothing to herself. Is she allowed to not want everything she’s worked so hard for? Is she allowed to breathe?
When she’s done, the boulder that has situated itself on Paige’s chest is gone but it’s pain is still prevalent. Her vision is blurry and spotty. Her voice feels so far away as if she’s not in her own body. Her ears are hot and her heartbeat is loudly beating through them. 
Paige is spiraling but well maybe not. 
Because soon, Azzi’s voice is in her ear telling her to match her breathing and Paige feels a cold hand over her heart before those same hands are pulling her closer.
“Babe, why didn’t you tell me?” The question rings on the blonde’s ears but she can’t answer because Azzi has tears running down her face and the sight is devastating to Paige. 
“Don’t cry” the blonde whispers as she reaches to wipe the stray tears from her Azzi’s face. The action causes the younger girl to chuckle because how is it that the most caring person she knows is experiencing so much pain.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to be a burden. I also didn’t want the team to think I wasn’t 100 percent. It’s been tough since my injury and the last thing I need is for people to doubt me again because I can’t handle a little pressure.”
“Look at me.” Azzi commands. She waits until her favorite pair of blue eyes meet hers before continuing. “You could never be a burden, P. No one worth listening to would ever doubt you for your internal struggles. It’s shitty, yes but this does not define who you are.”
Paige nods a little before leaning in to hug her best friend once more before settling herself on Azzi’s chest.
“You don’t have to be 100 percent to be loved, Paige. I love you through it all.”
“I love you too”
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that-hazbin · 3 months ago
Note
Media Demon AU
The Hotel needs a new animal Mascot, There is decidedly zero backbone to be found in this trio, and much bad math is performed by me. Feel free to correct it. Or not. Headcannoning Vox died in the 1950's between age 20-30, feel free to ignore. Alastor giving off parental vibes.
Vox looked at the moving package Alastor had given him, Anthony had lit up with a grin recognising what Alastor was doing, "Ah Smiles, you're such a sweetie sometimes" Alastor turned away flustered. "I have no idea what your talking about" Alastor was blushing near unnoticeably in that familiar tsundere way his close friends could spot a mile away.
It was the same expression from back then, Angel Dust thought wryly, way back when Alastor had gifted him with a small emotional support hell piglet for his recovery in therapy.
The box kept wriggling "Are you going to open it?" asked Alastor the television sinner.
Vox looked at the trembling box and gently removed the neon blue ribbon with trembling hands.
He didn't remember the last time someone, anyone really, had given him a gift. Carefully lifting the lid Vox felt his heart squeeze in his chest as a soft cold face pressed against his hand and licked his fingers.
"Oh you are adorable" a tiny gunmetal blue hammerhead hellshark pup with four incredibly stubby little legs was doing it's level best to get out of the box so Vox could pet it. The box tipped with the movement and the sharkpup pressed itself into Vox's body happily with strange little happy whines as its new owner coed over it with burning eyes.
Alastor leaned down meeting Vox's gaze and petted the hellshark pup who lapped up the attention with glee. "The hotel has a tank room for aquatic sinners, I thought a manner of responsibility might help you... Focus a bit more.", and if Alastor had also arranged a number of hellshark pet care books on Vox’s desk in his room that was merely coincidence.
Vox gave a watery laugh at the deer sinner who evidently didn't hate him as much as he thought, "Thank you for this".
And he meant it, it was the first time anyone had ever gotten him a such a thoughtful gift or any gift at all really.
It was also the first time Vox had ever thanked anyone for anything, it felt good.
"What ya gonna name the little fishdoggo?" Asked Velvette who was relentlessly booping the sharkdog pup between it's eyes to it's unending glee.
Vox had never been creative, certainty never good enough at being original but this was.. important, Vox looked up at Alastor "Why don't you name him for me?" Alastor tilted his head confused.
"I had assumed you would name him, he is your pet?"
"I'm.. not good at names", Vox grimaced, or much else he thought glumly.
Alastor was looking at him with a look Vox found impossible to decipher "...Vark"
"Vark", Vox tested the name on his tongue, "I like it!" Vox smiled like a small child receiving a gift.
Alastor realised his own age at that moment, he and the picture box were no longer separated by a gulf of scant few decades but much longer than that.
Alastor born in 1900, died in 1933, then died again in 2020 at 120 and being sent back to 1933 living a further 87 years until the present day... Alastor was even older than Charlie who was 200, by, ironically seven years minimum if his rather sketchy math was right give or take a few months.
Angel Dust offered a toast, he and the others oblivious to the former Radio Demon's inner midlife crisis, "To Vox, Velvette and Vark of the Hazbin Hotel! The Three Vees!"
Alastor huffed a laugh pushing down his internal panic and vowing to hunt down a calculator to figure out the exact numbers joined in the toast.
Don't you DARE make me ship this timeline's radio static I already have enough on my plate with hellradio 😭 fuck Vox and Vark are SOOOOOO CUTE!!!!
I really love the detail you put about this being the first time Vox sincerely thanked someone. A little show of his development under the Hazbin Hotel. That, AND Alastor being a little tsundere who's in COMPLETE denial about caring about this TV head? This is excellent. EXCELLENT!
And it's good to note Alastor's age, because I didn't even THINK that he could possibly be older than Charlie. That's insane to think about. He really did just relive an ENTIRE CENTURY. I don't know why that didn't actually hit me as hard as before, but like, that is a LOT of time, which means he could have gone through a LOT of his own personal development in that time period. Wow.
(And yet, he couldn't kick his habit of adopting the sad and pathetic into his fold. Even against his will.)
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maeumi-jng · 1 year ago
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hiii!! i love ur writing it’s absolutely adorable 🥹🫶 i was wondering if you could write something about riki & reader and maybe the reader is just a little older than him like a few months to a year? and they are very adamant on giving him his space especially since he has dealt with… so much from older fans. but riki rlly likes the reader and he’s frustrated because he doesn’t want her to think of him like a kid maybe 🤔 but reader likes him back she is just scared bc she feels like what if she makes him uncomfortable? but then it has a happy ending because they talk it out & jungwon helps them 😭🫶 totally understand if u don’t want to take this request! even if u don’t, it’s alright i love ur writing sm
kiss her you fool
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pairing: idol!riki nishimura x idol!fem!reader, childhood bsf!yang jungwon x reader
synopsis: riki likes you. you like him. if the maths is right, you should be together. but riki left one variable unaccounted for. or in which riki must get to the bottom of why you are withholding your feelings for him if it's the last thing he does
warnings: reader is a year older, ANGST, mention of c-19, DISGUSTING OLD CREEPY FANS, mentions of sexual harassment, insecurity, problems of young debuting and discrimination, and crying, jealousy, swearing, appearance of riize's anton, riki being an absolute menace but a communication king 😤, romantic confessions, cringe but fluffy, proof-read before dinner soooo ☺️
word count: 2k+ library: enhypen bookshelf
author’s note: it's my first request 😭 i got youuuuuuu. i didn't mean for this to get so um well sappy and sad, got a bit carried away with the 'older fans' thing, but thank you so much for requesting! i hope this is up to par ♡︎ // song rec is titular but not really incorporated
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You had made a mistake.
A very big mistake.
Liking Riki Nishimura.
How exactly that happened... well almost four years ago now, in 2020.
The practical shut down of all things physical in the industry. No concerts, no fan meetings, no live performances, restricted filming... the entire world had gone quiet.
Yet, as humans had done since the dawn of time, there was adaptation. Online concerts that were pre-recorded and emphasised stage performances, masked filming with very few staff, well.. masked everything...
And in the midst of all of this, was I-LAND. The survival show that would form a new boy group. The same show that your childhood best friend, Yang Jungwon, was participating in. As his friend, former label mate, and a representative of BigHit, you were very enthusiastic, promoting the show when you could on your lives and consistently voting for him, producing the theme song, even coming on the last episode with your seniors.
Jungwon did it. He got first place. With almost 1.5 million votes. To withhold all your tears that day was a heavy task. You didn't want anyone to think that the votes had been manipulated due to your influence so you had kept a bit quiet about your relation to Jungwon. But you were just so proud.
People eventually found out soon though. Months before ENHYPEN was to debut with the claims that it just made sense that you two were childhood friends.
Along with him came six other people that you would soon make lifelong friends with, Heeseung, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Niki. You debuted quite early and despite being the youngest leader ever to debut and the maknae, friends were hard to come by (surprise surprise). So you welcomed these with open arms. Any friend of Jungwon was going to be a friend of yours.
You cherished all the members in their own ways but you couldn't lie and say Riki wasn't special to you. He reminded you of yourself. So young yet so passionate. Furthermore, he was Japanese. Living in a foreign country by yourself at such at such as young age... it had to be tough.
So in a way, you took him in. By that you meant your mother had basically accepted him as her son and you took care of him as if you were his older sister. You helped him with his Korean, your mother invested into learning Japanese cuisine so he didn't feel too homesick, always sending you with tiffins of food to the company or to the dorm, you stayed by him during the tough times... you made sure that he never felt alone, even for a second. You promised him.
The thing about debuting so young was that it often attracted the wrong type of people. You had gone through it and were still going through it despite turning twenty soon. Older fans... they seemed to love you. Especially, older men. From shouting your name loudly and asking for cute poses at fan signs to genuinely asking to marry you and specifically positioning their cameras at a certain angle to capture under your skirt... It was beyond you.
And Riki was going through the same thing, primarily with older women. Asking to marry him, seeing him shirtless, inappropriate fan fiction... the list of crazy was endless.
But your group and especially ENHYPEN wasn't having any of it. You all tried to the best of your ability to protect Riki but it just never seemed to stop. There were just so many weird people out there. It was infuriating.
You stuck to your promise. You made sure Riki felt safe and you could tell it was working. He was always honest with you, at his most vulnerable. He could share anything with you and he'd feel comfortable. You were the one person closest to him, there was no doubt about it.
But then you had to fuck it up. You got feelings.
You didn't realise it at first. But by the end of last year, you were sure. The long hugs, the stares that lasted a second more than they should've, Riki's abrupt clinginess... all of the mundane things were suddenly making you flustered and open the opportunity to having arrhythmia with all your fluctuating heartbeats.
You weren't sure what to do. It terrified you. How were you any different from the older fans? Well, of course there was a difference. But that year difference between the both of you... it was imposing.
So you did the only thing that made any sense to you. You gave him space.
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You thought the space you were giving wasn't too obvious. You just wanted Riki to feel lighter and free.
But he noticed.
Immediately.
Riki noticed your wide smiles were now brief, the fewer texts you shared, the pathetic excuses you made to not hang out as much, the way you never sat with him to eat your mom's food... that the space you gave him was also physical given that you no longer sat right next to him but opted to sit diagonal to him (that way you weren't invading him too much).
Riki wasn't the type to beat around the bush. He directly confronted you. A trait that came naturally to him but was only furthered by the ever so direct Jungwon.
When you told him that you just wanted to give him a bit of space, given that he was older now and the whole plight of dealing with his 'fans'... Riki was in turmoil.
On one hand, an ever small part of him was touched that you cared so much. Not that was a surprise. You had the biggest heart he had ever seen.
But for the most part, he was frustrated. See, the thing was... he liked you too. A lot. Maybe too much for a normal human. It wasn't that you took care of him like a sister (if anything that combination would've made him throw up), but it was just you.
You entirely made him like you. Before he debuted, Riki was a big fan of you. He admired your work and passion, especially for as someone as young as you. Not to mention, he's pretty sure that you're the prettiest person in the entire universe. Never did he think he'd actually meet you. But then you visited I-LAND, twice. Once for the theme song and second for the last episode. And Riki was in awe of you. He couldn't believe it!
But that was nothing in comparison to finding out that he was debuting with ENHYPEN, a group that so happened to have Jungwon, your childhood best friend, and would often meet you to have their songs produced and composed.
And then you took him in.
He remembered it like it was yesterday. Heck, he could never forget it even if he tried.
You found Riki head down, crying alone in the dance practice room and you were immediately by his side. He was having an internal crisis.
It had been a few months since he had debuted and everything was going so well. ENHYPEN was popular. But his Korean was barely up to par, he couldn't keep up with everything that was going on, it was fuzzy in his head, people were commenting on his ethnicity and his looks in ways that discriminated him, he missed authentic Japanese food, he missed his annoying sisters, he missed his dad, his mom... he missed home. God, in that moment, he just wanted to go home.
You sat next to him, listening to all his worries quietly. By the time he was finished, he looked up at you with puffy red eyes that made your heart ache and apologised for burdening you with his problems.
He actually apologised.
For a moment, you were speechless.
So being an experienced person (well a year by age and a few more by career), you did what anyone else would do. Well, you hoped.
You wiped the remaining tears off of his face with your thumb and held his hands with yours. You looked him directly in the eye and told him, "You having nothing to be sorry about, Riki-ah. This... this is all normal to feel. To some extent, I know how you feel. I promise you that you'll get through this. I'll be by your side the entire time, hmm? I'm won't leave you alone. I promise."
With that, you brought him into a hug that he reciprocated. And this was the very moment Riki began to have feelings for you. After all of that and with everything you had done for him, how could he not like you?
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Riki's frustration was beginning to peak. Ever since you told him you were giving him space, he had decided to the complete opposite. He was going to be up in your business 24 fucking 7 (if he could).
If you were going to sit away him, Riki would make his hyungs move so he could sit right next to you.
You were too far from him? He'd drag your chair close to him.
Your poor text response rate? Unannounced, Riki would walk into the room, rest his head on your lap, and scroll through TikTok, showing you all the videos he found funny.
But he needed to up his game. They say that flirting is a mastery of sort. It takes time, skill, finesse, if you will. Riki, however, is a fast learner.
"Cute hoodie, noona. But you'd look better in mine."
Backstage, you found him waiting outside your dressing room, on his phone. You sighed, shaking your head. "You're a living nightmare, Riki. You know that?"
Riki looked up from his phone, a smirk tugging away at his lips. His eyes grinned at you with their hanging lids. "So you do dream about me? That's nice to know."
When you gave him your most miffed expression, a soft laugh fell from his lips. "You look so cute when you're mad, noona."
The other time you were at HYBE cafeteria. You had finally given into your stomach's needs after slugging away for hours at a song. You spotted a nice yellow iced cupcake... it was calling your name. Just as you went to pick it up, Riki's hand intervened. His fingers brushed against yours, making you immediately retract your fingers. "R-Riki... yah, I was going to get that."
"I know," Riki said, amused by your flustered expression. "I'm going to get it for you."
Then came RIIZE's Anton. An idol who happened to be the same age, also produced music, also spoke English, had the most softest voice known to mankind, devilishly handsome, tall without stupid vitamins... and happened to be shipped heavily with you by everyone and their mother.
Also known as: Riki's worst enemy.
You were both coming out of the studio when Riki had caught the both of you on the way. From how he saw things, he didn't like it one bit. He didn't like the eye-smile Anton had when he looked at you nor did he like the smile you had at the poor joke he had cracked.
Hands shoved in his pockets, Riki stopped in front of you, interrupting your conversation. "Oh, hey, noona."
"Hmm? Oh, hey, Riki. Anton, this is–"
Completely ignoring the Boston-born but moved to New Jersey whatever-the-fuck guy, Riki just smiled at you. "Noona, you look so pretty today. What's the occasion? Me?"
You went home and screamed in your pillow that day (and apologised profusely to Anton (he said it was okay because anyone with a single brain cell could tell you and Riki were close)).
You had had enough.
The next day you had stomped into the dance practice room with Riki and Jungwon following after you because you had met them just as you were entering. Closing the door, you turned to your childhood friend who was placing his bag down.
With one hand pointing to Riki, "Tell him to stop it."
Jungwon raised a brow, looking at you incredulously. "Stop... what exactly?"
"I– stop... stop this," You stressed when Riki shuffled closer to you.
Jungwon looked at you helplessly. He knew how you felt. But he also know how Riki felt. In fact, he was the one who suggested him to be more obvious with his feelings... resulting in this. Clearly, Riki had misunderstood being obvious with being a bit more invasive. Probably, Jungwon's fault... What you two needed to do was communication.
Just as Jungwon opened his mouth again, he watched you push Riki so he stood a metre away from you. "Stay over there."
So much for communication.
Riki pursed his lips, pretending to ponder your suggestion. He took a step closer to you. "But I want to be next to you."
Your eye twitched in frustration. "Riki!" You cried out, balling your fists around the invisible air with annoyance. "Can't you just stop? I told you... you need space. With everything that's being going on for three years... I'm worried about you."
All the humour that was sported by Riki had disappeared in the matter of seconds. He chewed down on his lip, eyes darting around the room, registering what you had just said. He sucked in a sharp breath. "I'm not a kid, noona. Not anymore. I'm older. I have thoughts. and... I have feelings too."
You blinked, letting out an exasperated sigh. "I know but... I just... I just wanted you to gave some space. Some time to think for yourself as a person. It's important for you."
Riki's tongue poked the inside of his cheek. His eyes fell to you, meeting your tired gaze directly. "You said you'd never leave me alone."
Your eyes suddenly softened at his words while your heart ached. "Riki-ah, I'm not–"
"You promised, noona," Riki whispered, a flash of hurt crossing him. He took a step closer while you took another back. "You're afraid of something."
You furrowed your brows. "W-What? I'm not afraid–" You started to defend yourself but Riki cut you off again, not heeding to the warnings Jungwon was calling out.
"No, you are. What are you so afraid of, noona? Tell me... we can fix together. This time I'll help you," Riki persuaded, still inching towards you.
"Riki," You breathed out. God, you were a mess. All you emotions were everywhere. You didn't know what to think... what to say. "Why are you making this so difficult?"
Riki's hands stretched out, encasing yours with his. "I'm not making anything difficult. I think you're just in denial. In denial that I really like you. In denial that you like me just as much."
Your heart skipped a beat at the sudden confrontation. The guard you had built for the past few weeks had come flying down after taking every hit from Riki. "I... I don't wont you to feel uncomfortable," You confessed, "I don't won't you to feel pressured because I'm older than you... because of everything we've done together."
"Noona, I–" Riki's shoulders fell at your admission. God, the fact you were even thinking of that was entirely disheartening. "I don't feel pressured at all. You could never make me feel uncomfortable. I– you're the only person in the universe who actually makes me feel comfortable. No offence, hyung."
Jungwon raised his hands, gesturing his acceptance and dismissal at the same time.
Riki kept his eyes on you, hands tightening around yours. "I'm grateful for everything you've done for me but that's not the only reason I like you. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You might not know it but you welcome everyone with open arms, the most beautiful woman I know, but don't tell my mom that, you're so smart, hardworking, caring... you make me want to be a better person. You make me happy, noona."
You blinked rapidly. Were you dreaming right now? Was this a prank of some sort? You removed your hands from Riki's, using the tips of your fingers to pinch your skin of your wrist. A small yelp slipped past your mouth.
Riki jumped slightly, startled. His hands immediately returned to yours, gently rubbing the affected area. "Noona," He chuckled, "This is real. All of it's real. My feelings for you are real."
"Just making sure," You laughed softly before sighing. A wave of heat washed over you and your mouth felt dry. What were you to say now? How do you respond to something so silly yet so valid?
"You can just say you like me, noona," Riki said, eyes beaming down at you in amusement.
Of course you had said that out loud.
You sucked in a sharp breath, slowly exhaling. "I... I like you, Riki," You mumbled.
Riki narrowed his eyes. "I can't hear you," He teased, grinning from ear to ear.
"Nope, nope." You retracted your hands. "I take it back. I'm taking it back... right now."
Riki laughed, reaching out for your hand, only to pull you into a hug. He lifted you gently, spinning you around with pure happiness rushing into his brain.
"Riki," You cried out, "I'm going to feel sick," You said, even though a full blown smile was on your face.
"It's okay," He retorted back, slowly coming to a stop and putting you back on the floor. "If you do..." His hand darted out to push back your hair behind your ear. "I'll take care of you. I promise."
After a brief minute, Riki turned to the empty area where Jungwon once stood. "Where did hyung go?"
"I think he left after you said I was beautiful," You cooed.
A flush of red tinted Riki's ears and cheeks. He folded his arms, getting defensive. "I... Well... it's true!"
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