#this show fixed me in so many ways
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god charles was sooooo scared of edwin thinking hes a bad guy he was so worried edwin could feel the same way as crystal (lowkey scared of him) but then edwin was like wdym youre the best person i know im literally in love with you. theyre so !!!!!!! 🫂💗
#idk this is like my 7th rewatch#and that hug it keeps hitting so hard#ep 5 is sooooo good#!!!!!!#dead boy detectives#rant#fangirling#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#paineland#chedwin#ive seen some people on twitter use that ship name and its so funny to me ilove it#anyways#renew dead boy detectives#please please pleaseplalsee pleasesplease#dbda#this show fixed me in so many ways#i need an infinite amount of episodes
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nickel and balloon would be so much more interesting if people explored the way nickel became everything awful that balloon used to be but so much worse ironically all in the name of "protecting" everyone from that history repeating. and not softboy tsundere yaoi or whatever is going on in those tags rn
#meeple.txt#inanimate insanity#iii they could so easily make me hate you.#nickloon arc was the worst thing to ever come out of iii#unnecessarily long and stupid and hilariously poorly written#i actually feel insane seeing how many people just accept it at face value as The Canon#i know it Is canon but i dont care. Heart❤️#we need to bring back the fandom energy of collectively rejecting the shitty writing#nickloon arc did not happen its ok. take my hand#in my heart nickel digs himself a deeper hole of denying he did any wrong and everyone at most tolerates him#fits his character built up by s2 so much better and parallels other characters too#somewhere deep in his head i feel like he knows hes wrong. but by god it should not have been that easy to ''fix'' him#hes going to deny it until it kills him bc that means facing any regret or deeper feelings he doesnt wanna deal with#and that means admitting he made mistakes which is a huge blow to his ego#and his Cool Tough Leader personality#hes not gonna give that up so easily#and i dont think its in character for him to change within the timeframe of the show tbh . at least with the time they have left now#thats like a post canon Maybe to me#the only way ill accept it really
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POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw gore#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#jrwi gabriel#jrwi gabriel montez#LOOK FAMILIAR?hahahahahDONT WORRY#IM REUPLOADING THIS HERE BC i fixed up the drawing a lil. and also i wanted to add main tags#U WONT SEE ANY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THISSUN N THE POST ON MY SIDEBLOG.i changed the image there too.HA!!!!!!!#ANYWAY.i rambled plenty about pain and gabe on my sideblog.SO LETS TALK ABT THE ART SHALL WE.ihad i very hard time getting the colors down#would u believe i nearly left this uncolored??FUCKED UP!! it was only a sketchhow did it end up like this. it was only a sketch...#BUT IM RLY GLAD I WENT W COLORING IT.this time i actually used the airbrush n pencil tools BUT i also have a handy dandy brush i made#its just the mspaint air brush tool. fucking LOVE THAT THING. but now its in fire alpaca and it can be slightly transparent.IT LOOKS SOGOOD#perfect for splatters and grime.i love you mspaint i love youuu.im also so happy w the blood here.i think i reached a shift last year#back when i made that genloss fanart something abt the way i draw blood finally CLICKED and im like OH. the inside must always be darker.#like i KNEW that already but it was like my hand itself finally had it click.i wonder what i will learn next?I LIKE THE ORGANS HERE TOO#not as veiny or thready as i usually draw em. but i think thats fine. not as WET as id like em to be but thats also fine.#i got the point across. the point ofc being WOW THIS IS GRUESOME AND PAINFUL AND TERRIBLE#I LOVE HIS EXPRESSION.i love pain and thinking abt pain. you lose yourself to it after enough time passes of just being in an ocean o agony#at one point its just too tiresome to scream or writhe. theres a point when the body accepts it.sometimes.atleast.#OHHH GABRIEL AS A CHARACTER DELIGHTS ME SO MUCH.he is a dog to me.a thing to serve others.I WISH I KNEW MORE#WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT BOY?? SURE POWER AND SECURITY AND SAFETY ARE NICE.BUT DID YOU HAVE DREAMS? WANTS? PASSIONS?#WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THAT TIGER TATTOO ON YOUR ARM?WHAT DO THE DOGTAGS SAY BOY?I WISH I COULD HAVE TEA W U#OHHH TO SIT DOWN WITH A CHARACTER AND JUST SPEAK TO THEM. AND YET. AND YET IN THE END ITS ALL TRAGEDY AND COMEDY#TRAGEDY AND COMEDY THAT IS SO SO PAINFULLY UNBALANCED. SIGH.#WHATEVER CMERE BOY YOURE BECOMING AN OC OF MINE NOW UR GONNA BE IN SPACE AND UR NAME IS GONNA BE VINEGAR#UR STILL GONNA BE SHIP OF THESEUSED THOUGH. OOOHHH GABRIEEELLL GABRIEL MONTEEEZZZ#HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE BUILT INTO YOU.HOW MANY DID YOU LOVE AND CHERISH.HOW MANY TATTOOS DO U RECOGNIZE ON UR NEW ARMS#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? ON THE NIGHT U WERE SIRED?WERE YOU EXCITED? DID YOU SEE YOUR BOSS' FACE?WHAT WAS THIS PROMOTION LIKE?
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#hi im j here 2 talk . saw this cow yday so i drew her and now u get 2 say hi#but omffgg my gd i dont know if any of u relate but i feel like my ability to socialize w others#specifically online and speciifically in interest-circles has gotten so much harder for no reason whatsoever#like im just becoming more self conscious ab how i portray myself and its so weird bc like . LIKEE I DONT KNOW like . ok#people r super njce . always super nice and reach out to me and talk w me or i reach out first and they respond and r soo sweet#and something happens in my brain where like . i feel like im suddenly like . inserting myself where i dont belong (not true) but why am i#the bus driver all of a sudden . in all of these situations . me when i just show up like hey#i think i j feel annoying >__< . and i dont want to bother other people but said people r literally never bothered ykwim like Will Reach Out#and im the one that pulls back but 4 no reason . i cant even think ab why i do that .why am i doing this 🧨#so many ppl i want to genuinely befriend in all of these spaces but im self sabotaging soo frwaking bad#literally rn thinking of some dms i left on read bc i panicked or mutuals ive talked w before who im nervous 2 be familiar w . hrmm#anyways . i kind of wish i had the ability 2 just talk to new people and not actually gaf ab the outcome#HELPP .. early tmblr or wcf or devart where u have thirty million friends 2 now where u r too scared 2 say hi to an almost friend .#me problem though . if not alr clear HEJAHHAAHA i think part of my reluctance also stems from the fact that i know i get this way#and so i dont want 2 rope someone else into that insecurity so i try to keep it at an arms length until i fix it#but i think i also know its a longer & more introspective thing to work on so i do need to just try anyways
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In HTF fandom, you can know who to trust and not trust just by listening/reading what they think of some of the characters
"I love Fliqpy and Flippy but the raccoon who implied to be poor and is mentally ill is the spawn of evil for stealing, killing his brother, and `making illogical choices`. Aka when he is being a piece of shit Kleptomanic like the show intended"
"Don't get me wrong I love Handy but I don't understand why he is complaining when Russell has it worse."
"I don't understand why Petunia is always overreacting. Can't she just calm down for once?"
"I don't get why these characters trust Mole/Lumpy/Flippy/Lammy when they are DANGEROUS and SHOULD BE LOCKED UP."
Thanks for proving that disabled people can't trust you 👍
#badger posts shit#i'll be honest not all of these complains are from fans. some are from reaction channels#for real i've seen people say that Flippy should be locked up in an asylum... for killing others in a show made for... killing characters 😭#also back in the day there used to be shitton of people who would try to invalidate Handy's frustration because#`Russell is disabled too and he doesn't complain either`#even tho Russ clearly managed to heal and replace his missing limbs while Handy's wounds are clearly fresh abd he clearly can't#- probably because he is poor because he works even when he should be resting.#even Russell too struggles with his disability from time to time and gets frustrated with it. its just shown lesser than Handy's#htf#happy tree friends#happy tree friends fandom#htf flippy#happy tree friends fliqpy#htf fliqpy#shifty htf#htf shifty#htf handy#htf russell#htf petunia#mole htf#handy htf#lumpy htf#happy tree friends flippy#htf lammy#Tbh I'm not disabled but I feel like no one talks about how albeist this fandom was back in the days 😭 especially those reaction channels#please tell me if i'm speaking over actual disabled people or if i worded something wrong tho so i can fix it#i avoided this fandom for years because of the way many fans were
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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no actually I’d like to hear your thoughts on the isat ending
Like i said it felt really tropey and by that i meant that it’s just Everything Good Happens forever and…..that’s it ? like idk we were building up to this huge catharsis sort of thing and then we got to it and it was so sudden and not a good payoff and just kind of nothingburger of an ending . the fact that everyone just forgives siffrin bothers me, or at least the fact that they don’t confront them about the shit they’ve said and done. call me a mental illness villainizer but i think if you’re a fucking asshole and doing the most insensitive things to the people you care about then hey, i think those ppl have a right to fucking tell you off for it. likeeee idk being at your lowest point …… not an excuse …. not feeling it chief ……. like sure the message is to move past your mistakes or whatever but ? that doesn’t mean just getting away with it ??? and i just really don’t understand Why everyone forgives him. honestly at the end of the day the ending is just one problem, the root of which are the characters. everyone feels like trope cardboard cutouts. oh, this is the smart one. this is the smol bean. this is the himbo. and they all care for each other btw. Did u hear that? they all care for each other. we’re not really going to explain to you why these people are so close or what they went through together but just trust me man they’re sooo found famy. like …. okay. i’ve played 30 hours of this game and not once did i buy that any of the characters really cared about each other. like??? why???? You’re telling me everyone super cares about siffrin even though they barely know them?? you’re telling me siffrin cares about everyone sooo much even though he never even bothered to find out their problems before ? Wat ? and this just breaks the ending more because literally whyyy do these people care about him so bad. and then it’s just whyyy does siffrin Have to tell them anything he doesn’t even seem to know them that well. everyone feels like colleagues and Just Friends at best. and so the ending just seems really forced. like it was written by that type of tumblr user who’s always talking about aww why does the found family have to break up after the end of the journey :( which is like fiiiiine. i guess. but u guys know that u have to build up to it right?? you can’t just tell me they’re Family Members(tm) 102829 times and that they super care about each other source: trust. you can’t just do that and then expect me to believe it ….. It feels unearned. the ending feels unearned and i don’ttttt understand what i’m supposed to take away from it . that it’s ok to fuck people up because you’re traumatized and insecure?? that you have to talk about your deepest problems with people you barely know??? i just dont know. Like i said if im being honest the problems with this game’s writing are more than just the ending, it just stands out so much because there’s a lot of build up and then just …… That
#honest to god if you want a Good Example of a story like this just look at dungeon meshi#we start the story from the end of the characters’ journey. they all don’t know each other very well and they’re just working together#hell they don’t even like each other that much. And then as the story develops and they go through their journey we get to see them bond and#get closer and fight and make up and admit they care about each other and still be mad at each other#nobody even gives a fuck about laios at the beginning of the story but by the end of it they’re all willing to die for him. THAT feels#earned. when marcille super fucks up and everyone tells her off for it but still wants to just make sure she’s ok That feels earned#like honest to god i’d take marcille’s arc any day than whatever’s siffrin going on#i just feel like this game suffers from a chronic Tell Dont Show syndrome. we get old over and over again that these characters are close#told*#and that they care about each other. And that’s just ….. not a way to write a story ………#when all the characters exist just to comfort the Whump Main it’s like how am i supposed to get invested. in any of this#u know when the dev replied to someone who was asking them how to write a story and they just said ‘glue your fav tropes together until it#becomes a story’? Well i think that is isat’s main problem. it’s not really a story. it doesn’t really have characters#it’s just a bunch of tropes in a trench coat. And let me tell u that is notttt how you make a story. at all. at all#anyways this was supposed to be about the ending but this story just has so many inherent problems i could critique it forever🤷♂️ my badddd#it’s fun as a game and it’s Fine as a story but at the end of the day it just reads like fix-it fanfiction to me#which is not Bad on its own but i wish people would at least recognize how the story is kind of built on sticks#cramswering
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#i’m terrified to ever watch this movie. i think it would kill me. basically it’s about a marriage falling apart.#anyway—adam driver would do so good as bobby in company and i would die to see him in it#i’m seeing company tonight!!#it’s a special musical to me. it’s about marriage. how marriage is both exciting and boring and makes your life better and worse.#the months leading up to our wedding i was kind of a cynical mental wreck. there was so much i did not like about my husband-to-be.#sometimes i felt like the only reason i was going through with the marriage was because it was too late to get out of it.#i had spent my teen and college years wanting to have a boyfriend/husband then i got one and realized#oh wait this didn’t actually fix my problems huh#actually there are NEW problems now#and then somehow this past year has actually been like. the best year of my life lol#it’ll be a year next month!#yea there are still those Little Things. sometimes there are Bigger Things. but bruh this dude is so good for me#i have never been thriving as much as i have this year.#i’m so much healthier in so many ways than i have ever been all my life#and like it’s cringe to say that cuz i don’t want to say MARRIAGE is what fixed me but. i think it’s okay to say that#there must be some kind of GOOD to marriage otherwise there’d be no point in doing it#and i think i make his life better too. he tells me so at least lol.#and i’ll only be able to watch the show with one eye LOL but my husboi will be with me watching this musical#that i used to listen to when i was angsty about getting married#and now we are married#and life is great.#somebody need me too much#somebody know me too well#somebody pull me up short and put me through hell#and give me support#for being alive…#yeah there are times when it’s harder than being single but. the blessings are multiplied along with the hardship.#shywalker stuff#Youtube
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i award this trophy to Casero Delilah Bard
#i’m rereading Threads and oh my god#she is so fucking in love#the fact that lila bard CANONICALLY cannot sleep without her ginger idiot beside her makes me feel so many things#and her no telling her about the new antari in white london bc ‘he has enough to worry about’#and the way her fingers ‘ache to heal him’#and the way she’s always running her fingers through his hair#and the way his scream ‘tore through her’#and the way she can read him so well and always just wants him to be ok#and she shows him that he is never weak#and she’s always looking to a way to stop him hurting and fix what’s broken#and she is always always always thinking of him and doing anything to protect him#my heart is so happy and it hurts so much#the fragile threads of power#adsom#a darker shade of magic#shades of magic#kell maresh#lila bard#kellila#threads of power
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find a blorbo (nhl tag game)
RULES: Go through the roster of each NHL team and find at least one player that you can root for.
tagged by @bondedpairs!! when i say too many teams to count and here for the narrative um. i may not have lied. this is not an extensive list of my blorbos but in order to make it not ten thousand years long i made up the rule that i had to do it straight from memory :)
anaheim ducks: as evidenced by recent events i DO like mason mctavish and trevor zegras but i have to honor laura and mention troy terry and beloved goalie gibbie*
boston bruins: oh for sure brad marchand… can i say patrice? one of the charlies got traded but i think mcavoy is still there because gryz is gone, brandon carlo is there still i think
buffalo sabres: cozens & thompson, owen power, rasmus dahlin, ukko pekka luukkonen
calgary flames: is chris tanev still here? is markstrom still here?? noah hanifin?? as a last resort i’ll say blasty
carolina hurricanes: aho & jarvy & teuvo teravainen & brent burns is still playing maybe? i know sepe got traded
chicago hockey: the bedsy narrative is compelling but ANDREAS ATHANASIOU MY BELOVED reunited with tyler bertuzzi… that’s the real story. also i like foligno
colorado avalanche: gabe landeskog, whatever ross colton & miles wood have going on, natemac + jo, mikko
columbus blue jackets: have long been on the merzlikins train, have been swayed to the darkside of umich boys (brindley, kent johnson, fantilli, blankenburg who is now on nsh)
dallas stars: seggy! mush! roope + miro and otter and robo and wyjo (rip ty dellandrea) and harls! etc.
detroit red wings: MOST players. dilly larks, moritz seider, jv, raymond, rasmussen, kitty, lyon, etc except for k*ne
edmonton oilers: mcdrai, ofc. nugent-hopkins, nursey, rip vinny & skinny
florida panthers: tkachuk, reinhardt, sasha barkov, verhaeghe (is there still?)
los angeles kings: adrian kempe… kevin fiala… danault… quinton byfield & alex turcotte
minnesota wild: kirill, marat, fleury, brodes, fabes, boldy, moose, middsy, spurge… god’s perfect idiots
montreal canadiens: going out on a limb here to say martin st. louis but also xhekaj (both), slafkovský, suzuki, my austrian reinbacher, yes fine cole caufield
nashville predators: MOST BEAUTIFUL D PAIR IN THE WORLD GRADY SKJEI AND ROMAN JOSI!! juuse, evangelista, isn’t stamkos there and also someone else who absolutely should not be
new jersey devils: nico… tuna (tatar), dawson mercer, siegenthaler, dougie hamilton, yes the hugheses whatever
new york islanders: barzy, zeeker & marty, anders lee, noah dobson lol
new york rangers: mika & chris, lafrenière & k’andre, shesterkin
philadelphia flyers: frosty & beezer and tk and sanny and the new baby michkov and coots and scooty loots and foerster etc etc. you know the Guys
pittsburgh penguins: the two headed monster but also compelled by rutger mcgroarty, and kevin hayes was there!!!
ottawa senators: timmy stü & brady! josh norris! the evolution of shane pinto! ullmark now and brännström and claude giroux and chabot
san jose sharks: ekky, thrun, mario, borde, logan couture, shakir, that other vaguely blond rookie
seattle kraken: brandon tanev, andre burakovsky! grubauer & d’accord also
st. louis blues: jordan kyrou, nathan walker (is still there?), rob thomas? is parayako still there?
tampa bay lightning: hedman, point, they dumped so many guys after the cup run… is kucherov still there or is he in nashville?? anthony cirelli (notable for being made out with by pat maroon)
toronto maple leafs: mitch, jt, willy, alex nylander, kniesy, dewar, et
utah hockey: crouse, keller, tuba
vancouver canucks: quinn, brock, petey, jt, garly, höggy, i want to say dakota johnson, elias lindholm?
vegas golden knights: brandon montour is here now… alex pietrangelo, so sorry to one i can’t remember who loves the lions it will come back to me
washington capitals: full of love and stupidity. oshie, nicke/ovi, pierre-luc dubois, dowd, vrána, milano
winnipeg jets: adam lowry!! josh morissey and kc and morgan barron, also vladdy my beloved
tagging @stillfertile + @colap1nto + @songsandswords + @moregraceful if they haven’t done it yet, i know they follow at least a couple teams. if anybody else wants to play i love adopting blorbos!!
#it is literally my DREAM to get challenged by someone about how many hockey guys i can name because i am a freak like that#and i make up arguments in my head for fun. please Try Meeeee#me when i wear all of my different crewnecks out & make up an imaginary argument where i have to list five guys from every team… ok why not#in doing this i hope i expose so many of you to narratives and also don’t show my ass because we’re at the point in the season where i go#‘he got traded WHERE???’ & i forget where everyone got moved around 🫡 everyone who watches a game has to deal with me regularly going WAIT#tag games#liv in the replies#this is secretly just a love letter to everyone i follow who got me invested in these narratives. i WILL adopt ur interests &speech pattern#and like. it very much does NOT even come close to reflecting the narratives i have and will be invested in#hated my own rule as soon as i made it but it prevented me from creating an even MORE elaborate set of rules which was like. would you#actually root for this guy playing hockey vs are these all narrative characters so you need to them be able to back it up with a fic#which. given that it’s BLORBO i was like none of them are about to named on the basis of their hockey and also i am a giant hater#if you’re playing the red wings i want you to lose if the red wings are out i cannot guarantee who i will root for. it is up to The Spirit#this took me too long… worth it#like I don’t know as if i’ll ever make a proper pinned post but this is high in contention simply for the fact that i just Talk about Guys#you guys missed the part where i tried to do it in alphabetical order but completely forgot all teams that started with a p and colorado#among other teams and then i had to google ‘32 nhl teams’ because i could not for the life of me figure out who i was missing. rip ottawa#which is so funny because i love so many guys on their team. like. this list is such evidence of my BLANKING on the spot under pressure.#*everyone who saw this say stolarz no you didn’t. listen i knew ONE of them had gotten traded 😭 and literally during the pre-season det/tor#game today i heard ‘stolarz’ and went OH FUCK NO OH NO and wheezed my way here to fix it.
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i love the EVIL part of EVILIVE btw. i find fucked up, unnameable unobtainable obsessive life-ending love extremely romantic and delicious. it’s the way things are in the evilive world! things are messy! and bad! and i love it! i (at least currently!!!) do not plan on writing anything pure fluff happiness because that is not something that i wish to extract from this show.. it isn’t there! i have no interest in erasing these harsh realities of evilive in my fics. happy lalala is not fun for me to write, and i won’t do it without a heavy underlying feeling of uneasiness and uncertainty and dread and despair and inevitable death. i like pain :/ and half of this couple is one of the most greedy selfish motherfuckers i have ever come to know and he’s oh so beautiful. so i am sorry if you finished evilive and wanted some kind of fix-it happy gays but i am NOTTTTTTTT the guy for that.
#ilml#idk.#lol.#sorry feeling a little defensive this sunday evening!#reqs are open indefinitely and if you need some kind of fix all you have to do is ask :]#but i will not write anyone from this show (intentionally) OOC because i respect them too much as human beings from my TV show.#from my little kdrama that takes up a huge portion of my brain.#my reason for writing at all for evilive is to explore aspects of it that we didn’t get to see on screen#anyways whatever sorry please be gentle with me ❤️#i am just a serious and passionate guy writing about a crime noir#it’s a tragic lovestory and i am not inclined to turn it into a kissing loving understanding relationship#like srsly han dongsoo? u know him yes? he wouldn’t be down for all that#he’s hetmarried in case we forgot#SORRY im so 😵💫. but please god be gentle with me. i am baring my soul to you through my writing and i need it to be handled with care#if you wish that evilive was nice and happy you could make it that way! but i will not!#maybe someone else already has/will!#but ILML (me!) is into evilness. i like weird evil lawyers who are evil and bad. and i have no desire to turn evil lawyers nonevil#and i have no desire to take away the joys of violence and power from the other half either#and idk how many of my readers are weird/offputting queer men who have been helplessly in love with a straight guy#but it is no easy event… it is no simple doing… it can perhaps even be an EVIL thing…#STRAIGHT UP RAMBLING AT THIS POINT. APOLOGIES!#<- guy who might be a little sensitive and need your understanding
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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hrmmmnn……. (walks in2 an open fire)
#foreboding 🫣#anyways i was drawing mahito . TRYING TO!! recreate the last rb#or whicjever shows his domain in s2#AND ITS KICKING MY ASS IFSNSOO FUCKING HARD ?!;&:!:$#its nawt even the hands its the lighting -__-i cant color it right#but i tried 2 push thru for mahito anon . its u and me against the world (pushing ugly stsg in this sc out kf the way)#so anyways idk if ill ever finish it T_T dont wven know if i like it enough to post as is#there r so many problems and idh the patience to fix them bht also also#what if .. the world didnt care ❤️ maybe ill post it . ill sit on it 4 a few days#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk 236#getou#gojou
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i know a lot of this is just who i follow so i'm not necessarily making like a generalized social commentary but it is so wild to me that i saw the witch hat middle aged yaoi guys eeeeeeverywhere for like 2 years straight just day in and day out. and it wasn't until a month ago that i learned the MC and her LI (??) are both girls .
#again i think most of the people who were putting it on my dash/TL were into middle aged yaoi guys#so there was for sure a genuine & understandable bias#but also. it's ME i follow so many wlwarriors and i seriously didn't even know the curly black haired character wasn't a guy#anyway what clued me in was someone did a role swap between the teen yuri & the middle aged yaoi and my brain exploded#god i wish that were real sooooooo bad i need it. it would fix* me#*fix = [hyper]fix[ate] but in a really evil and unhealthy way. for everyone else mostly#the moon speaks#HOPEFULLY THIS DOESN'T SHOW UP IN THE TAGS I TRIED TO KEEP IT GENERIC. I'M NOT HATING ON YOUR DUDES THEY'RE FINE!!!!
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so i have managed to get zero writing done, bc i'm out of my adhd meds. and cvs says they are on backorder so it could be a while before i get them. but i NEED them. and the store just expects you to personally call every other cvs nearby and ask them if they have what you need. you know, instead of just doing it themselves, like they should bc it's their goddamn job to see their clients receive their medication. and i cannot function without it. but i hate making phone calls, my social anxiety is so bad that i get super nervous and can barely make it through the conversation without crying. it's not fair. adhd meds like adderall have been hard to get for over a year. and my goddamn insurance won't pay for it anyway, so I'm gonna have to pay out of pocket.
#it's so fucking hard to be mentally unwell in this country#there's such a stigma around it unless you have something common like depression on generalized anxiety#but heaven forbid you have anything that shows outward symptoms#then you're just treated crap. people either pity you or think you're crazy#and it's pity. not sympathy. you know the way when people pity you and it comes from this condescending place#like they feel bad for you. but they don't think they'd ever be in a similar experience. like they feel superior at the same time#and i'm so tired#i'm so tired of crying and panic attacks and breakdowns#i've been seeing a psychiatrist for over a decade. why aren't i better?#why hasn't anything fixed me?#i've tried so many different meds. and they help somewhat. but the anxiety never goes away. and the depression keeps coming back#and the panic disorder has only gotten worse#i really thought tms would fix my brain#that it would make me better#instead i can't leave my house without having panic attacks
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Keep seeing Zelda movie news reactions and like feel like my only contribution right now is I'd much prefer live action to an illumination style animated movie...
#i feel like just the littlest bit its showing their target audience isnt *little* little kids which is somethingg#and idk guess like 4 years or so is still a relatively new loz fan for me but#feel like no matter what they do theres no way to please everyone#not even the games bave been able to do that#theres so many different tones they could aim for with it and w so many different mainline games who know which theyll pull the most from#just like#ofc id rather see animation#the art brain in me goes feral about the possibilities there#but idk... its always written off by vast majority of adults as kiddy stuff and like you dont have to tell me it shouldnt be#gosh do I know#but if theyre wanting to make money and be taken seriously#even find a new audience who arent prev loz fans#im not surprised really that this would be the direction theyre working towards#at the end of the day like we already have cartoon and cdi link and even they get love sometimes on this site#its just another link#and maybe one w wasted potential but that doesnt take away from all the amazing ones we already have so ajdkfkf#forgive the million typos my gosh#too lazy to try to fix them tonight but i promise i know how to spell TT
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