#this should’ve never been okay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ikkan · 1 year

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of course my mom is trying to guilt me into staying, by using her tears 😑

#.txt #i don’t care anymore #this has been my whole life #she cries and i have to take the abuse because i have to be the bigger person #i’m done doing that #i refuse to sacrifice my mental health and sanity for others #i am no longer being the ‘bigger person’#i am not keeping the peace to please others and make them comfortable #this is just a big middle finger to me and my healing path #i WANT to heal and she won’t let with keeping me in this house #and not letting me break this cycle of toxicity #i want to finally be free #i wanna stop being in survival mode #i want to be able to feel safe in my OWN space #i want to be able to love myself #i want to heal and possibly be a mother #i don’t want my child to suffer like me #no child deserves that #i didn’t deserve it #this should’ve never been okay #why was i not protected when i was supposed to be #i deserve a healthy and safe environment/life

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sevenines · 14 days

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i saw this tweet and found it interesting for two reasons. one is that some people base how good cartoon network would be to toh by how it treated su, and despite the fact that su’s treatment by the network was considered poor at the time, now its thought to be exceptionally good in comparison to modern shows.

two is how exactly su got impacted by a limited budget. a common criticism is how characters like connie, peridot, and lapis are left out of missions. but balancing a lot of characters is not only hard but also costly (extra animation, extra voices—it’s been revealed that the show is limited to a set number of characters per episode otherwise they’re over budget). animation mistakes are not uncommon since retakes cost extra. the entire reason the original show got cut short was due to loss of funding!

#i don’t know if pay rates differ per networks #but a.ivi and s.urrashu have said that they needed to work outside of su in order to make sufficient funds #it only makes me wonder what other ways su suffered from a lower budget #that we as the audience never got to see #in the vein of the too-little characters complaint #another part of that is that low-stakes episodes should’ve been abt the main cast instead of the townies #like last one out of beach city and too short to ride vs restaurant wars and kiki’s pizza delivery service #i definitely see that especially since that isn’t budget related #nor would it seem to be network related (even if cn had an ‘episodic episodes’ quota it could still be abt the gems #(another side note: /would/ cn even have a requirement that the show make episodes that can be watched standalone?#this is a question for the people who were around when su was airing #what episodes often got rerun?#was it the townie eps or the lore eps?#for example i heard that su once did a ‘peridot event’ where they just reran peridot episodes #which had eps that skip around in the show #did they even care about airing the story so that it made sense anyways?#id get it if the low stakes townie episodes were the ones getting rerun))#but i have such a boring view on that which is i think it’s simply because the creators like townie eps #like in interviews r.ebecca s.ugar has said she’s the type to be really invested in background characters #answers in interviews have been crafted in ways to hide what’s really going on though tbf #prime example of this is rebecca and ian saying the wedding being interrupted was meant to follow the common trope #when later in the art book they said that it was bc cn rejected the ep bc it ‘wasn’t interesting enough’#both could simultaneously be true! it’s a psychology thing though where people make up nice-sounding explanations behind what they create #in retrospect because they want it to be thought out in such a nice way they believe in it #the bigger problem is that not matter how many episodes there are of them #it can be hard for ppl to be invested in the townies the same way they are invested in the main cast #i’m sure that a million writers have made surefire advice on how to get an audience to care about characters #but off the top of my head i think it’s because 1. most don’t have strong motivations to get truly invested in #(exception is ronaldo but people find him too annoying to care about him)#okay i had more points and explanations but i hit the tag limit and idk if anyone is actually reading this so bye

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nox-sssscraps · 9 months

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Gawd I’m. it’s 4:20am and I’ve been listening to exclusively the new 21 savage album since it dropped last night and I’m thinking abt my ocs . And spacewaffles I suppose

#RRRGG I can never get Bacon’s colors right but it’s ok!!!#it’s sooo okay and fine I’m deffo not upset abt it ^_^#lifesteal smp #baconnwaffles0 #planetlord #oc: Corduroy #im so proud of the name Corduroy I really like it . need to flesh out her character more <33 #UGH ok I dislike how Planet’s head/hair looks and Bacon’s hair is too fucking saturated AND you can’t tell that’s it’s braids !!!#Corduroy looks fine. love you Corduroy <333 #according to procreate I spent 2.5 hours on this OHGG MY GOD WHYYY #ok caption true tho new 21 kinda awesome #my favorites so far r see the real and uhh #wait hold on #and just like me . special mention should’ve wore a bonnet . THAT song takes me straight back to middle school and swing screen doors <3333 #AND ICE POPS AND WATER BALLON FIGHTS that we were allowed to start past 7pm cuz parents would make us clean up and we had school #damn. I love music #ok bye I’ve been here for long enough and i probs need to sleep lol #nox art

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seaweedstarshine · 4 months

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RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)

#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers #art by seaweed #words by seaweed #X-Men Red #the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire #“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did #“he's a douche” mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death #Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans #I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self #and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era #he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously #creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy #Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc #Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him #instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre #but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too #and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also #he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar

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catastrxblues · 9 months

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#okay i actually want to rant a bit 😭 - not advised to read this because then you might get brain damage #because oh my god??????? weird #(was going to write an entire diary but nvm here’s the gist of it)#basically i was coming home from this chem thing right #i used the train as i always do when it comes to this. and because the new station just got a shiny renovation it is now connected to the #new mall in front of it (we have two now it’s an addition to the first one). and guess what 😭#i had to go in and get to the first mall because my dad said he’d just pick me up at the lobby instead of the bus stop in front of #the station entrance right.#and when i was on the elevator going up on a call with my mom about food orders 😭#the guy i used to have a very very VERY heavy crush on in middle grade got to the elevator leading down just as i was on the landing 😭😭#and i had to make sure i wasn’t hallucinating so as he was descending and his back turned to me i examined the back of his head and i’m #pretty sure it was him. curiosity killed the cat i should’ve remembered that shit because you know what my stupid ass did??#i was already walking away on my way to cross to the first mall but then that curiosity got the better off me and i steppedonto the elevato #leading down 😭 and followed him out into (apparently) the fucking bus stop #oh my goddd I JUST REALIZED this is my the one moment help #except i don’t think he recognized me because i was never even friends with him lmao. wrote tons of poetry about him ✅#actually had one proper conversation with him ❌#i was delusional and kept alone with my thoughts living in my head do not judge me #but seriously even though i don’t really care about him anymore this would’ve been (unfortunately) SUPER important to middle grade me #she would’ve taken it as a sign or something and write like five pages about it #and i just keep thinking about that #funny how things change because IF YOU KNEW how many credits and exaggerated compliments i gave him in my old journal #oh you would’ve laugheddd #like i used to SPEND SO MUCH TIME pondering over him it’s so 😭#i used to have an oc and i think i based it on my idea of him and then i think that idea of him was even the reason i started to TRY to #write poetically. and i used to relate every taylor swift love songs to him (esp the ones in debut lover and rep and fearless) IT WAS SO #FUNNY LOOKING BACK AT IT NOW #i think he did see me though. i put on this act as if i was searching for someone confused and then (my go to) pretended someone called me #and then i whisked off as if to find that someone #i’d like to think i look pretty cool though. not because of anything (def not my looks because i was SO TIRED from that extra chem lessons

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kavehater · 2 months

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I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.

#since when were we friends nor did I have any obligation over you or towards you #we are literally roommates here acting like we’re friends #dora daily #I say this cause I saw yet another younger sibling on tiktok trying to make themselves a victim like the older one is clearly avoiding the #whole family and changing their phone number so u guys don’t contact for a reason like wth did you guys do that’s so bad they would go #through all that trouble #‘older siblings will never understand how doing that affects us physically and mentally’ oh quit whining and cope #I didn’t have an older sibling I relied on only myself heck not even strangers help me when I’m in dire need #I think yall need to cope harder and wake up to the real world #not all younger siblings but a lot of them like my little brother 13yo is good id never want to abandon him but the rest … yeah bye #idgaf you should’ve not been an idiot because believe me ik kids mess up but not like this #and now she’s grovelling at my feet bye grovel harder #like just an hour ago or so she came up to me and was like I’m going to school for the first day are you gonna miss me #I said no because she always tells me no when I ask her if she missed me #and somehow she had the audacity to be upset like okay #the same girl who tells me to move out btw #my mum said oh u have to be her best friend cause if she has nobody here then she will have to rely on strangers #and she would find herself in trouble cause they don’t have good intent oh gee I wonder which person caused me to do that #it’s honestly ironic #like Eris and virtue happened because she couldn’t step up and be a normal mother byeeee #and anyways whyre you acting like having a sibling is essential #it honestly isn’t like why would I be nice to a girl who dogs on me and beats me up and is disrespectful #she’s not that young anymore she’s almost 12 #‘oh they have different personalities’ well i hate hers and im not to be forced to like it either its my right

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wxywardsun · 1 year

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Supernatural’s biggest crime by far was not letting these two meet each other and in this 500 page essay I will b-

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justaz · 2 years

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i’m mad about the implications of the lion switch and the way the creators/writers/whoever the fuck ignored it again

if lance going from blue to red was supposed to signify his attention/attraction switching from allura to keith WHY DIDNT IT FUCKING HAPPEN

listen. allura never reciprocated his feelings. blue SHUT. HIM. OUT. honesty it was pretty fucking obvious keith had a thing for him: bonding moment, “lance i got ur lion back”, “are you joking?” in the softest fucking voice ever, etc etc and red ROARED FOR HIM. RED CHOOSE HIM.

why tf wasn’t klance canon. there was so much development for it to happen but noooo we hate gay people or sum

#all three of them deserved so much fucking better #klance #kick #in 2023?#yeah…#keith kogane #lance mcclain #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defenders #voltron legendary queerbait #voltron legendary disappointment #voltron legendary disaster #literally every single one of em #lance should’ve never been a rebound or end up a farmer #allura should never have fucking died??? AND to redeem an abuser???? wtf was that???#she should’ve been made the new queen of altea and led her people. maybe settle down w someone (romelle) later down the line #keith should’ve got his happy ending at home safe w his brother and his husband (ADAM) and with his mom #and the end credits should’ve been klance wedding #okay okay #i honestly wanna rewrite it all #like as a fic #but that would mean i’d have to rewatch that shit show again #and write like 8 seasons 😭#god.

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tariah23 · 5 months

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I wonder if it’s just normal for every place of work to have a dirty microwave because… yeah.

#I just feel like you’re grown… you should know that you were the one to make that mess right? clean up after yourself #you’re taught that when you’re little man #and even if you hadn’t you should’ve learned some kind of cleanliness along the way #and at these jobs they treat staff who have to clean up after others like slaves #I never cleaned the microwave out at mt last job and I complained about it a lot during our group huddles like we are not your slaves #you clean up too! and they’d be like ‘okay Tariah’s :/.’#because really #at this new place #it looks like the microwave had been cleaned but man #if you are putting food into the microwave you should at least place a napkin over it so that the food won’t pop all over the insides?#also #it’s just nice to wipe the microwave down some dish soap/bleach to get ride of the smell at least #I hate the smell of lingering food so much man it makes the area smell so bad #pisses me off #rambling

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applecherry108 · 1 year

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I…

So I grew up watching The Simpsons. And maybe I shouldn’t have, but hey, it was the 90s and parent-sanctioned family time to watch a show that was definitely inappropriate for little-little kids.

Anyways.

I knew Phil Hartman, voice of Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz died in 1998, when I was seven. I knew he died and was sad about it. I missed his characters.

MOTHERFUCKER I WAS TODAY YEARS OLD—30-FUCKING-2 TO BE EXACT—WHEN I FOUND OUT, FROM A YOUTUBE THUMBNAIL, THAT HE WAS MURDERED. IN HIS SLEEP. BY AN EX-PARTNER.

WHAT THE FUCK

#I assumed he was old and just passed away. maybe he was sick. how do you explain to a 7yo that a voice actor was MURDERED #and idk the state of the show nowadays but esp in its earlier seasons it was definitely meant to push boundaries and yeah #I don’t think I should’ve been to it before the age of 8 to 10 #at minimum. but also. SO much just flew over my head. and we know now I. autistic and my parents are autistic #and do you know how many echolalia swims we all have from that show? 😂😅#*stims goddamn you autocorrect. every day the apple company curses my tags. I miss having an actual keyboard god damn it #apple talks #to the tune of spam #my parents weren’t naive enough to think all animation is for kids like there were plenty of shows I hasn’t allowed to watch as a kid #but idk man. for some reason the Simpsons and the critic were a-okay #but king of the hill wasn’t?? honestly I think it had more to do with whether or not my dad in particular liked a show than whether or not #it was deemed ‘appropriate for children’#my mom tried to ban me from watching sailor moon bc she said it was just ‘little girls jumping around in short skirts being saved by the boy #like hi mom I’m gay. and also watched it in secret for several years. she never found out. I told her long after bc I thought it was #hilarious. mostly she was just mad bc my grandpa was supposed to be watching me lmao

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holypowell · 2 years

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i am not a full pennymav truther but the screenwriters kinda went off with this… i think cutting lines out was a bad idea since this kinda gives the viewers more sense to their relationship and fleshes out their dynamic

#‘it’s the only look you got’#LIKE…#SHE KNOWS #okay NOW i’m done #goodnight y’all #that was definitely smth #should’ve never been given access to the script #pete maverick mitchell #penny benjamin #top gun maverick #second screenshot looks wonky bc i had to edit 2 pages together LMAOOOOO

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muteflames · 1 year

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i’m rewatching riverdale bc i felt like it but i forgot how dirty they do my girl veronica in season 4!!!! i hate it here and i’m gonna start killing!!!

#.#when i say im gonna kill i mean betty and archie #my girl is there for him through everything and chooses him over everyone and he cheats on her!!!! i hate!!! kill kill die #i love when she helps sacrifice archie my only complaint is that she should’ve been the one to cut him open #i think that’s the appropriate punishment for him cheating on her w her best friend actually #i’m not at this part yet bc i’m still on season 4 but in s5 when he says he was devastated when he found out she was married… okay #bc like the whole reason they broke up is bc he’s a CHEATER but he’s devastated that she moved on !!!! death to him fr #i’m rewatching sabrina the teenage witch until i’m not angry anymore bc dream boy harvey would never do that to my girl sabrina #riverdale

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sonic-adventure-3 · 2 years

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i was considering drawing something shippy for valentines day and then i remembered i don’t care abt any ships. or romance. or valentines day. i don’t even like red and pink as a colour combo 80% of the time

#chocolate is okay. hearts are pretty cool.#i should draw rouge in some cute clothes maybe #maybe amy #who knows if i can still draw though it’s been almost two weeks lol #rambles #honestly i don’t even hate valentines day i think hearts are cute it just never got better than what it was in elementary school #that should’ve been what it was forever #the cards and heart shaped candy and the anonymous roses that everyone got their friends #the whole aesthetic of it is nice though. when it’s not combining the most horribly clashing reds n pinks ever

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yixiangs · 2 months

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if you think about it jinsung and doyum were kind of the original haobin

#talking about 1the9 in the big year of 2024 what has my life come to #should’ve applied for a summer job this boredom is driving me insane #okay but also think about it really hard for one second i feel like im onto something here #survival show rivalry fighting for first place in different groups but theyre also best friends the whole time #ive been thinking about this for months but never posted it the brainworms finally got to me #dabae speaks

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catastrxblues · 9 months

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good morning it is now 4 am and i have just finished watching atonement good night

#atonement #next tags are just going to be personal rants ignore that #i couldn’t sleep at all so i tried reading s&b and then fanfics and then the bell jar but it just didn’t hit #so then i tried writing but i just kept crying so i thought i’d watch a romance movie because yes #should’ve gone for four weddings and a funeral or pride and prejudice because what the hell is this #i didn’t know anything about this movie i just remember having it on my watchlist and saw ONE clip so i picked that help #and yes i ended up crying and the tears are still here but i’m also starting to think that that’s not entirely because of the movie at all #i stripped my bed off its sheets because the bright color annoyed me and it was already peeling off anyway and i was too lazy to put it rig #and when i pulled back from the screen after the movie finished and just look at how bare my bed is and how i’m in the middle of them #i just started crying again #and my legs are aching and i hate myself and i think i want to take a shower but maybe i’ll wait later on #i don’t think i’ll sleep at all honestly i’m not sleepy anymore #besides i’m thinking of going outside today just at the park i don’t know doing something #i always sleep really really late lately because my parents are out of country right now and no one is keeping me checked and i apparently #still can’t take care of myself. cried about that too it was something. why am the eldest daughter i’m so not fit for it #and then i always wake up at like 9 am and it’s already too late by then that i just never do anything productive #and it’s like i’ve been living in a simulation and i’m kinda going crazy and insane but it’s okay because today is going to be better #i hope because i’m not getting any sleep and i can finally go outside at 7 in the morning instead when it’s already way too hot #damn this is supposed to be one of the best years of my life??????? fuck off #also i can hear the azan subuh from the mosque by the neighborhood and i miss praying honestly #it’s so funny because i was happy to get my period because that meant i wouldn’t have to wake up so very early on in the morning #but i miss it now #hopefully my period will end soon #nadirants

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king127 · 2 months

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His son woke me up in the middle of the night on accident by texting our baby boys phone. Now I can’t go back to sleep.

All I can think of is how I was never the one. Feeling used as a replacement for the family he couldn’t get back. His BAE, before anyone else. That I get reminded of all the time that is was for his first true love. Because he chose to use the nickname he had given to her for their first child after he couldn’t get his family back.

Trying to go back to sleep but his text woke me & got me in my head. I text him back just incase & he’s okay. It was a mistake. But it got me in my head. Hoping to fall back asleep now.

I need to move one & learn to say no when I really love & want him. But I deserve respect & not to be used when he doesn’t even want to try to make things work.

#never the one #replacement for the family he asked to have back #but I’m not worth the try anymore #it wasn’t love it was lust #stop using me & let me go completely so you can have the peace I can not give you apparently #so dumb #used & disrespected #never trusting anyone again #I tried like I was told by him to do but he gave up #leaving wasn’t an option for me when he did wrong but it’s so easy for him to do #I trusted him & he showed me why I shouldn’t have ever even tried #gave him children he wanted to do it right but he got us like a broken family anyways. how was this the right way #not enough for him #he never loved me & never will.#he doesn’t even like me so I need to let go #wishing for strength to no longer be used by someone who broke me & have up after making me stay after heartbreak & disrespect #I now know why he is okay with going back on his words #it was all a lie & I was never gonna be enough #stop using me & let me go fully it’s not fair #you never loved me & it shows #I was just a fun time & could give you kids you wanted #I was used & over it #I chose you #you wanted to wait & I was sad so you didn’t #you shouldn’t have given in & let me be sad you never said it was okay because you were in love with me. just reminded me I didnt wanna wait #how could I be so dumb. that should’ve been enough proof #my life is falling apart #god got me & sees that I tried so he’ll help me move on.

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