#this shits probably happening in no burners au

[rroketa]

arranged relationship between Julie and Mike by Kane is funny to think about like Kane going "Julie my lovely daughter please date my favorite cadet"

Kane shipping moment

[uchihaharlot]

Hey there! Love your work and if you're still doing requests, I've got one for ya: a hot, sexy threesome between a female reader, Itachi (loooove him) and Shisui. I'm imagining a competition angle where they've both been pining after the same girl for a while and she likes them both too, but can't choose (and I mean, who could, right? Lol). Eventually, someone (probably Shisui based on my own interpretations of his personality) decides that choosing sucks and sharing is caring, leading to super hot sex 🔥

Ooooo deary,

You speak right to my soul. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fantasized being the center of an Uchiha pissing contest. I’ve always felt that love is kind; love is free and love is patient.I’m hikjackjng your request a bit, I’ve had a draft for several months. There is no real competition here, but extremely hot solicited sex and yes. You are correct, Shisui is one hundred percent the purveyor of pleasure.

It will be soo worth it though; there is a second part to this — written by @shisuis-left-nipple, my draft is also beta’d by her as well — thank you my little Shisui harlot. I dream nothing more of being an Uchiha sandwich on a daily basis.

I’ll forefront this by saying there is mentioning of Shiita. Nothing overtly intimate between the two, but it’s undeniably there and at the back burner. Though you are the main focus of this event, I do apologize to the people who haven’t eaten the forbidden fruit.

NSFW; all out Uchiha fuckfest; overstimulation; multiple climaxes; fucked stupid; mild Shiita.

Yea I thought about this for a while. How did you even get in this situation? Probably met at the spring festival and all.

Since, in my au head canon, they foiled the coup. Shisui lives, Itachi rules the coop. Feel free to ask me about exactly what happened — there is so, so much in my one brain cell.

Itachi is now clan leader these days. Shisui is his right-hand man. They've grown out of that phase of just the two of them. I know it's not everyone's cup, but they definitely fucked and now that they're adults and have clan responsibilities, growing out of that phase.… though sometimes they share a girl here or there.

So, here you are at the festival. Looking so gorgeous it's damn near criminal. The spring festival is held in the Uchiha district this year — Shisui called it reclamation day. As part of the planning committee sent by the Godaime, you get to enjoy all the hard work you put into decorating their little corner of the world and Shisui is grateful.

I mean really grateful, his cock thanks you too. Your guys’ budding romance starts out slow.… lol, ya whatever that means in Shisui’s head.

Shisui is the extrovert while Itachi is still a bit shy and reserved. (This might get confusing because Izumi obviously hadn't died, but let's just say well.... I think most of the Uchiha believe in free love. At least the younger progressive ones. It keeps the curse of hatred at bay and sex is free. Love is kind).

Who in their right mind wasn't fucking one another in that gorgeous clan of men?

Everyone was.

This event really turned out, ‘the Uchiha are eternally indebted to you for your hard work' says Shisui. He's the charmer — the concierge of bedroom antics. The proprietor for drawing the women into the sheets.

It doesn't take Shisui long to make fucking shit out of you a habit, upheaving your feels and all. Just casually, no big deal. Starts asking questions after a hot session, of course he came to you during lunch. When he has a craving, the man is insatiable. You mention a few taboo things, maybe binding, nothing too extravagant or out of the ordinary. But he is calculating — ever the entrepreneur, ‘how can I give this girl the most beautiful experience of her life?’ He thinks.

Shisui drops the threesome paper bomb in your lap and you’re like — ‘uhhh….yea, sure. Why not but, with…who?’

‘Well Itachi, of course.’ Just so damn casual like it was a regular Tuesday and he hadn’t spent the last half hour rearranging your guts.

Cue blank screen syndrome, ‘what?’ As if waiting for the room to read itself, ‘is this….something you guys do….regularly?’

‘Yea, sometimes. Just so happened to tell him about this woman who has me in a chokehold. Stealing my soul and that her beauty makes the sun ashamed to shine.’ That sort of Casanova type shit, sick as cancer. Shisui was undoubtedly winning this match.

It serves your desire on a silver kunai. The wet mixture the two of you had created rehydrates and Shisui takes the opportunity to fuck you again, slower — deeper. Asking if you’re interested mid stroke, whispering filth in your ear as you start to come undone. Sexual coercion at its finest. You’re so aroused at the thought of this situation you come hard when he mentions some quip about being a double stuffed bento box.

The good, good Itachi is so prim and proper. He hosts a mini dinner, and you’re sort of sweating, uncertainty beckons you. What the hell is going on here…..it’s mildly unsettling at first, but Itachi refuses to fuck a woman he doesn’t know a little bit about. You all three enjoy Itachi’s over the top meal and the conversation flows. The awkwardness melts away and it isn’t long before Shisui takes off leaving you two alone.

Itachi takes you out to sit on the enagwa for tea. He is such a gentleman to consider you this way. While Shisui preps their sanctum, Itachi’s lips make his first impression, and boy it's hot. Not that Shisui wasn’t the connoisseur of making out himself, but Itachi’s kiss is gentle — light. Soft as petals that feather and cradle yours, making you embarrassingly breathless almost immediately. He wants to make sure you're comfortable with this whole situation and Shisui always finds his chivalry adorable, but you can't talk Itachi out of it. He has to do this. It sets the mood and also lowers any preemptive warnings that you might have, since this is already a new thing for you, there won't be any silly toys. Just pure unadulterated pleasure and free love. Once you spend about a half hour lip locked with Itachi, he's going to lead you around the house. Takes you to a room on the back side that’s dimly lit. Starts kissing you in the room behind closed doors when a small gust of wind comes at your back — Shisui. Always one to make an appearance.

Another set of strong hands are at your back. While one wraps around you from the front, the other from the back. Your senses are already in overdrive, Shisui is the impatient one while Itachi likes to draw things out. Shisui hungrily kisses down your neck and Itachi is just swallowing every soft sigh from your lips. Shisui's hands lift at your shirt, and you thought this through. Some cute lacy see through bra that catches Itachi off guard. Has his sights zeroing in, seemingly devouring you through the material.

Shisui wants the bra off, but Itachi has to remind him who the boss is — using that big ‘fuck you’ energy out of nowhere. Shisui just rolls his eyes, a small glint of the sharingan in an exaggerated attempt to look annoyed but not really — fine, so be it. Itachi can have his portion of you but, either way, a candle can burn from both ends if it's double wicked and there is so much of you to explore, top to bottom.

Shisui kisses down your back as it arches, his hands resting on either hip when he crouches. Itachi is nipping and rolling your nipples through the lacy bra. He absolutely loves the temptation of it and maybe even stole a glance through red spun pearls for later review — yep just know that they are going to be recording this for their own personal collection. (Let's touch on the sharingan for a second, I truly believe that it's emotionally charged. If something feels good, it's out in the open. Big bad and red, like an eye erection or some shit lol. Spinning wildly absorbing collective imagery to database — consider it similar to how pupils dilate when it sees something it likes).

Shisui's already got your pants down. He's so hard, Itachi's exceedingly hard too but he takes forever, so Shisui just starts undressing him too because what are friends for? Everyone needs a little help from their friends. You couldn't be really sure, but you’re positive that Shisui may or may not have kissed the tip of Itachi's cock and licked the excitement off, but all you really could hear was his laugh.

Your pants are shucked and tossed aside, Shisui's got you lifting each leg over his shoulder, he's buzzing and wants to start making you moan. Itachi is just following along for now as long as Shisui doesn’t touch his portion of you. Suddenly, you’re slightly lifted up. Looking down you see Shisui sitting on the ground, his arms holding you up. That shit eating grin filling his face as he peers up at you. Then Shisui’s face at your sex inhaling and exhaling hot and breathy, you sit on his shoulders while he holds you at your lower back. Itachi laughs at the audacity of that man, but he knows how insatiable Shisui is. He wants you dripping down his face, chest and eventually his cock.

Itachi finally removes your bra. The sensations are tantalizing — you got one that's slow and sweet and the other that's too fast for his own good. Shunshin no Shisui never could live life in the slow lane. So just like his namesake you're already one and now a second orgasm deep on his mouth. Your hands, well you didn't know what to do with them. ltachi guided one to his shoulder and the other to rake in Shisui's hair, which instantaneously made Shisui groan on your sopping mound, his nose rubbing in the cleft of your heat and his tongue rolling over that deliriously sensitive patch of nerve within your sweet seam. Prodding you, drinking you in and leaving you full-mouthed whimpering.

Once you've been properly worked in, Shisui stands, leaving you at his mercy high in the air. You yelp and cling to him, so this was the actual strength of a renowned shinobi. He lays you so gentle and sweet like on the bed. And yes this time, you saw what you saw, Itachi languidly strokes Shisui's cock before your eyes and you're like what in tarnation — but it was hot because Shisui bit his lip and looked at you like James Dean with big puppy dog reds. They would tease one another here and there and it would absolutely fan the flame between your legs.

Shisui goes over the many ways this could go down and you're like...

‘I'm just here for the ride. Two against one, does it really matter what I want?’ And they both laugh; how adorable because yea, you're right. They're doing it the way they want and Shisui grabs a few things. Lube, leg spacers etc. but you're like ‘uuhhh leg spacers??’ That's when you end up on top of him turned around, your back to his chest and your legs hung over his knees.

All for your consideration and comfort, he's not one to take liberties, not yet. You’re spread open like the world's finest charcuterie board. Itachi's eyes populate and spin red. 'Gorgeous.’ Cause you are, not a damn thing wrong with you, especially from this perspective.

Shisui's hot breath is at your neck, kissing you all over. Not an inch of skin that his lips could reach is untouched. Neck, ears, shoulders — nipping the space between your shoulder blades. Really a pleasure king for you.

Itachi, this man, may not look like much to the naked eye, but he's that and more. So much more, kneels between your legs and just devours you. Like a fucking goddamn goddess, his lips make praise to your sopping cunt. That damned nose, rubbing it all up in your clit while his tongue is gently teasing your slick. You've never had someone be so attentive to you, and while you're distracted in pre orgasm build up, Shisui is administering a severe amount of lube to Itachi's hand. A grand distraction to addle your mind a bit more.

You've already left your consciousness in the sixth dimension and your soul in the 9th circle to hell. What's something a little deeper? As you climax for maybe the sixth time now this evening, Itachi's slim fingers prod at your uncharted asshole. Oh dear. You've not ever experienced ass play. This is unfortunate but also exciting. You moan treasonously and can *feel* Shisui smirking as he kisses and nips at your back. One of his hands splayed across your stomach. Pressing as you climax hard. Itachi wasn't rough, but he wasn't sincere about knocking on the back door.

‘My apologies' Itachi says when you chirp a little bit over it. Gentlemanly as he is, he's ravenous now. And you can't really be sure, but there is more squelches and a brief motion outside your visual perception.

Shisui says some shit like, ‘breathe for me baby’ through bated breath and next thing you know. Itachi's lubed up Shisui's lovely fat cock and is attempting to breach your second entrance. Oh, mama Kaguya! You were a bit selfish when it came to relinquishing control and Shisui offers you some advice, 'look at me gorgeous.'

It’s in this moment you fully understood what Shisui meant about being a double stuffed bento box, he's only sunk about four inches of his cock in your ass and it's not entirely unpleasant, but new. Your neck is craned in a searing kiss with Shisui, him rocking his hips gently until you're comfortable. Itachi toying with your clit to acquiesce the intrusion. Only when Itachi’s mouth sucks on your bud does it then feel really good.

The intake of air to your lungs as an entirely different type of roaring climax, in a whole new group of muscles, doesn't seem to fill you with enough air to accommodate the salacious inconsolable loud moan that escapes your lips. Shisui gently pioneering slow purposed full-length thrusts into a hole that was once too tight for two fingers.

After that, all he has to do is sit pretty. Itachi takes over after you have a few more orgasms, like what, 9 or 10 now total? If you tried to count, just give up. You're done physically, mentally and emotionally at this point. You've left your soul in their vision for it to never be returned. Completely dominated and owned.

But they're Uchiha. They know the effect they have on people. Itachi puts his hair up a little tighter in a bun. Such a cutie, he slowly strokes himself watching as Shisui has his round. Then the room goes still, all you can hear is Shisui's heavy breathing in your ear, as he’s had to hold back quite a bit. You're so taut around him, he almost busted a nut and unfortunately for him, the second Itachi stretches your weeping and already swelling cunt, Shisui does cum — poor bastard. But his best friend makes sure to angle his slow strokes downwards so that way he gets a little bit of friction and as a double whammy the mere feeling of Shisui pulsating and coming inside of you is like an intermittent vibrator, so you climax, full force. Resting your head on Shisui’s shoulder, he kisses your cheek as your eyes roll shut, and you babble like a cute idiot.

So here you are, hot sweaty and now gagged on Shisui’s fingers as he shoves them in your mouth. Shisui didn't necessarily go soft, the overstimulation of you pulsing and continually on edge keeps a lovely semi at his disposal. Itachi's got your arms wrapped up and set behind Shisui's head, his lips tease at your nipples. He is the slow and steady sensual man. You moan, Shisui moans. Everyone is moaning, it's a cacophony of gasps and sighs. Itachi's is just enjoying being the one in charge of you both, then Shisui starts hitting you with some katon heated dirty talk.

'Such a good girl.’

‘You're choking my cock so well.’

'Another one already?'

Just hot talk and even a bit of teasing. Since he's like buckled down for the ride now, he just gets to experience all the pleasure without much work, but he does make sure to suck at your neck, leaving a few marks on your back too. He's considering that maybe you're the girl for him. With his best friend's approval of course, this is just like a clan initiation at this point. Itachi would let you marry Shisui if he really hard pressed him enough, but Shisui feels deeply, this type of connection only comes once in a life and out of the myriad of females they've shared (which isn't many to be honest) you're this Pandora's box that has so many different things about you he already loves.

Someone is falling hard.

Itachi is of course enthralled with your breasts, they're perky, beautiful and each nipple is gently switched between his lips, pert and sensitive. Though he would turn up the heat and use a little bit of that Uchiha fire to warm them up, only to change the sensation and make you writhe. Slowly pumping himself into you, calls you ‘princess,’ of all things. So old school, Itachi started out quiet but when Shisui is kissing one side of your neck, Itachi is sucking and nipping at the other. All timed of course; right as you orgasm again. Always some sort of over stimulation going on and — hey wait a minute! When did Shisui start playing with your clit? You don't know and don't care because this next orgasm was the most intense yet.

And you squirted all over Itachi's cock, raining down on Shisui's, he couldn't help but start to move his hips a little. The contrasting thrusts sending you even further spiraling.

'Are you ok y/n?' A playful jab at your wavering consciousness by Shisui in a deep raspy whisper. You're catatonic.

An Uchiha flesh-light now. Thank the gods you're on the pill. Just the smell of their musk, power of the gods and that smokey katon heat would one hundred percent have you ending up pregnant and Itachi has big people issues right now, he can't have a kid just yet. You might even just become the wife to both of them. Though Shisui is greedy, possessive with what's his. Itachi has Izumi, but that doesn't mean you couldn’t take part in their secret swingers group.

Here you lie between them, filled up tight to the brim. Shisui has definitely cum at minimum three times, his seed seeping out your little bottom hole. Itachi isn't really that much into multiple, he enjoys perpetually edging the hell out of himself and right when he is about to cum, he slips out. Let's Shisui pound you a few good times and thank gods you have a clean booty hole. Itachi slips him out of his new claimed territory and by gods, there is that lovely Shisui cock filling your warm worn-out cunt. So thick and creamy with his seed, just slips into your tight seam. Slowly thrusting into you, he peppers kisses down your left cheek as Itachi takes a breather. Whispering how much you mean to him, so precious and his. Somewhere down the blurred vision to keep your eyes focused, Shisui is comfortably situated back as your butt plug. Time has escaped you, it all just cascades quickly.

Itachi lifts both your legs under Shisui’s *arms*, oof. Spreading you further, nearly to your ears. Folded like a lawn chair, a personal favorite to both. Shisui locks his hands over your sternum and holy hell this man is strong. You moan when Itachi slips back into your tired cunt. You're still so snug and wet though, the two of them each swing their hips in tandem; you weren't expecting this. All that heavy breathing, encouragement from Shisui and maybe a few a 'good girl’ from Itachi here or there. You're stretched to the limit. Can feel their cocks rubbing against one another through that thin layer of skin that separates your two channels.

Shisui's the first one to bust… again, lucky guy. He's had about five maybe? And Itachi reams his slender hand around your neck. You're so far spent; incapable of an orgasm, beyond belief overstimulated to the point that you're not sure if it's pleasant or not anymore. But it's hot, Shisui biting your shoulder, Itachi's grip tightens a little. He's a bit perturbed you've reached your limit before he could cum, so yea.

Tsukuyomi induced orgasm for you, honey.

Red spun pearls lull and bend your subconscious, all he says in the echo chamber is 'cum.’ Much to your surprise, you do, several times more. All over him as he deposits the hottest load of baby gravy into your cunt, making sure to fuck it in you. Tapping it against your cervix like it was some sort of keg tap. Just knock knock knock genetic coding at your womb. But he apologizes for getting so aggressive once he drops that mild soporific genjutsu and Shisui is trying to not snicker at your disheveled face.

Now honey, you've had a rough night. Let's talk some after care. Lots more kissing, worshipping your amazing body for all the shit it's just been through. Wrapped up like a cocoon and carried off into the main portion of the house.

What do you want? Tea? A movie? A bath?

You can bathe with both of them. Or alone. Whoever you choose. They are definitely going to make sure you are treated with the utmost care and adoration the Uchiha have to offer.

Do you need your leg muscles rubbed? They did go numb at some point. So, you have your bath, Shisui is there while Itachi makes tea. Shisui is such a gentleman though, washing your back. Asking if you want to wash your special areas yourself, he feels like maybe they just violated you, but you laugh out loud at and kiss him softly. 'I got exactly what I asked for.’

And he smiles the full length of his mouth. Such a handsome guy, the bath is rather quick. Itachi's readied the tea, and you can have your own room for the night, but like... ‘what if we all just cuddled and slept in the same bed.' You speak.

‘Hot damn, yes that too,’ Shisui quips. You're like a loaded canon and he is absolutely pulling the trigger finger on that.

Itachi nods and smiles, ‘ok.’

So, you have your tea, maybe even watch a movie but girl you are dead on your ass. You pass out within the first twenty minutes, Shisui finishes your tea and carries you to bed. Gently stationed between them, you just sleep so peacefully and serene.

Yep, and then when the morning comes, it's breakfast time.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Bad Ideas Part 10

Regulus Black au

Summary:  It started as nothing now it’s something. Voldemort has been defeated but that doesn’t mean the wizarding world is still a good place to be.

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Link to Part 9

Warnings: Smut

____

“With me, Y/n gets to come first. She had always come second to Harry and for once she gets to come first. That’s what makes me good for her.”

Regulus crossed his arms over his chest and glared at James as the venomous words left his mouth. He was relieved that everyone in the room looked super uncomfortable. Remus and Sirius exchanged and looked as if asking each other if they didn’t do enough to show you that you were special too…had they not shown you that you mattered just as much as Harry? Meanwhile, James and Lily looked at each other before returning to Regulus.

“What do you mean?”

James asked. Regulus' mouth dropped as he started at James as if he was the biggest idiot imaginable.

“Really? Do I really need to spell it out for you? I get it that you were dead and all most of her life but Jesus Christ do you really not get it? Oh bloody hell fine…Harry is the chosen one. Harry is the best thing ever. Harry this…Harry that…but what about Y/n? No, nothing. Nothing until I came along. Forget the fact that Y/n and Hermione are the brightest in their class, Y/n did a lot of work for The Order, or Y/n is the youngest healer at the hospital. Right, your daughter is a healer…you probably don’t know that. There is also the fact without Y/n, Harry would have probably just crawled into a little hollow log and died…but yes, let's forget about everything that Y/n has done and focus on Harry.”

Again, no one in the room said a word after Regulus’ rant. Harry awkwardly started rubbing the back of his neck.

“So, I have always cared about Y/n.”

He started but stopped when Regulus held a hand up.

“Shut up. This isn’t about you.”

Harry considered ripping Regulus a new one but decided that he was actually right. He had seen you be put on the back burner plenty of times. You always were gracious about it too and this made Harry feel even worse. Of all of the shit that the two of you had been through, you never made a fuss or complained when Harry got all of the glory. Instead, you remained in the shadows and were always your brother’s biggest supporter.

Remus took a breath before speaking. In his mind, Remus felt that he always did a good job of treating both Harry and himself equally. Remus always tried to recognize each child’s strong points and help with the parts that needed work. Remus had realized just how bright you were right away. You were, in his mind, always a gifted child. Learning and knowledge came easily to you. Remus always enjoyed how you could easily catch up with particularly difficult spells, literature, or anything else that he sent your way.

He also felt bad for Sirius because he, too, went out of his way to make sure that you felt seen and heard. The look on Sirius’ face broke Remus’ heart. Sirius had been looking down at his feet feeling like it was Walburga, not Regulus, letting him have it. The way that Regulus’ tone was deadly and icy made him feel so much smaller. Hearing Regulus say that you weren’t appreciated was particularly painful as Sirius had wanted a relationship with both of his godchildren before either of you realized who he was.

“No one is denying that Y/n isn’t exceptionally brilliant. I am very proud of the woman that she has become…”

Remus started but was silenced by Regulus.

“Don’t even, Lupin. Yeah, you try but Harry still comes first to Sirius and yourself. I’ve seen it happen so don’t try and baffle me with your bullshit.” Regulus turned his attention back to James and Lily. He wanted to chuckle at the expressions on their faces. Lily was the first to speak.

“I know that we can’t say much given the situation at hand but we love Y/n just as much as Harry. We never wanted to show any preference between the two…we definitely wouldn’t even consider it now.”

Regulus gave her a skeptical frown. While he wanted to believe Lily, Regulus would have to see proof of her words before his mind was fully changed.

“I guess we will just have to see on that one, Lily.”

Regulus replied. James took a breath. He wanted to ask Sirius and Remus if Regulus was telling the truth. Were you really the “shadow child” who was forgotten? Something told James that wasn’t particularly true…at least not all of it. James knew Remus and Sirius. There had to be some trying on their part. The expression on Sirius’ face told James that.

“You’re not the only one that cares about Y/n, Regulus.”

Regulus narrowed his eyes on James. He had a feeling that he would be disliking James a lot more than he already did. Something told him that his relationship with James, when it came to you, was going to be a rough one. If James thought for one moment that Regulus was just going to stand idly by and let you be hurt, disappointed, or made to feel less than important…James had another thing coming! Regulus would take extra care to make James’ life miserable.

“Isn’t that nice? Good luck to you, I suppose. Something tells me that you are going to need it.”

James stepped forward.

“I won’t be needing any luck, Black. I’m her father and I will be there for her. I don’t care that you are her boyfriend and I find the whole relationship creepy…you aren’t controlling her or keeping her away from us.”

Regulus chuckled.

“You do realize that I know enough dark magic to stop you. I could also just throw you out the window…”

Remus, having enough, finally stepped in.

“James, Regulus…that’s enough. Regulus, why don’t you go upstairs and check on Y/n? I think we all need a breather.”

Regulus gave James and Lily another glare before turning and leaving the room.

An uncomfortable silence fell upon the room as no one moved to speak right away. It was Sirius that spoke first. He had finally looked up from his feet. The pain and discontent were still so painfully obvious on his face.

“I always thought that we did well showing Y/n attention but maybe Regulus is right. Maybe Y/n has always felt second best and we just didn’t see it.”

James ran a hand through his hair. He immediately knew what Sirius was thinking. He was thinking about his childhood…Regulus’ childhood. Sirius had told James many times that Regulus had always been treated like second best. He was always the “second son.” He wasn’t the “heir.” Regulus was never anything valued until Sirius bailed on the Blacks.

Now here you were “the second daughter” (even if it was only by 12 minutes) possibly feeling the same way that Regulus did growing up. Something told James, however, that Sirius had learned from his childhood and tried his best to stop that from happening to you.

“I doubt it, Sirius. I know that you, of all people, would have taken extra care to make sure she was treated special. You wouldn’t have wanted her to be treated like Regulus.”

James replied, hoping to bring his best friend some comfort. Sirius sighed before going to sit down while Harry stepped up.

“Sorry to say it but I do agree with Regulus. With the exception of Remus and Sirius, Y/n has been treated like second best a lot. I hate siding with him on anything but he has been good for her. Y/n is happy with Regulus and I don’t think asking her to leave him would do anyone any good. Y/n doesn’t do a damn thing that she doesn’t want to.”

Harry could say that last sentence with 100% confidence. You were a lot of things and stubborn was one of them.

James sighed before moving to sit down beside Sirius with a groan.

“This sucks!”

(meanwhile)

Regulus stepped into his bedroom feeling somewhat better after unloading on everyone. Did he think that he was wrong with anything that he said? No, absolutely not. Regulus hated seeing the disappointment on your face whenever one of your accomplishments was downplayed while Harry was boosted up higher as “the chosen one.”

Regulus hated to say it but your childhood had so many parallels to his. You were subjected to cold guardians who honestly didn’t care, you were ignored for a sibling who could do no wrong, and you were lonely. Regulus sighed at the memory of you telling him how isolated you felt at times.

“Even when I am around my friends, sometimes I feel as though I’m in a room full of strangers who really don’t know anything about me.”

That had been the sentence that broke Regulus’ heart. That was something Regulus would have said at any point in his childhood.

Shaking his head from the negative emotions, Regulus turned his attention to where you sat on the sofa near the fireplace. He took a breath and started in your direction. As much as Regulus hated emotions and dealing with them, he knew that right now he had to. He had to pick up the pieces that were shattered all over the place.

“Are you okay?”

He asked softly before sitting down beside you. You turned in his direction and smiled slightly.

“I’m okay…a little shocked but I’m okay. I never expected my parents to turn up. Not that I am not happy or thrilled…I was just shocked to see them.”

Regulus nodded as you wrapped your hand around his and laid your head on his shoulder.

“I heard what you said to them.”

Regulus winced. He never wanted you to hear that.

“You heard that?”

You giggled before beginning to toy with the rings on his left hand.

“The whole house heard you, love. I know that you hate being compared to Sirius under any circumstance but when the two of you get mad…your voices carry.”

Regulus winced. Damn, you knew him well. There was no point in arguing on that one.

“I wasn’t aiming for you to hear any of that.”

“You weren’t wrong on any of it. I will say that Remus and Sirius have tried. Sure they have their shortcomings but they have tried to treat Harry and me the same. Thank you, by the way.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow before turning to look at you with a slightly confused expression.

“For?”

You moved to wiggle your way onto Regulus’ lap. Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to his kissing him softly before pulling away.

“For always putting me first…for making me feel like the most important thing in the world.”

Regulus wrapped his arms around your waist and carried you to the bed. Lying you down gently, Regulus took his place over you. Cupping your cheek, Regulus’ grey eyes locked on yours. Staring into Regulus’ eyes always made you feel as though he could see right into your soul.

“Because you are the most important thing in the world to me. None of this other stuff…these other people…they mean nothing compared to you. I would walk away from all of it to keep you happy.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread to your face. While Regulus wasn’t overly a “mushy” person when it came to romance, when he put effort into it he was the perfect lover.

“You’re the most important thing in my world too. Reggie, I don’t want you to worry about anything with my parents. No matter what they could say will ever change how I feel about you.”

Regulus was beyond relieved to hear those words leave your mouth. He hadn’t really considered telling you (at least not at the moment) but parts of him were worried about James and Lily’s return. Would they try to poison you against him? Would they try to weasel their way in and say “It doesn’t matter if he still looks 18 or that he hasn’t aged due to being dead…he’s too old for you.” The better question was would you believe them?

That had been Regulus’ number 1 fear since seeing James and Lily alive. Now he heard what he needed to.

“I love you, Y/n.”

You were stunned to hear those words leave Regulus’ perfect mouth. In all of the time that the two of you had been a couple saying those three words hadn’t happened. Something told you that it would be harder for Regulus to say I love you than anything else. After growing up the way he did, talking about love had to be a difficult subject.

Now hearing “I love you” flow so perfectly from his lips, you knew that you would do whatever it took to keep those words coming.

“I love you too, Regulus.”

Regulus was beyond thrilled when you reciprocated his feelings. Call it trauma from his childhood, but Regulus was afraid that you wouldn’t say it back…that you would never love him as much as he loved you. Now that fear could be put to rest.

Leaning in for another kiss, Regulus smiled against your mouth.

“How about we make some noise to make everyone uncomfortable?”

_____

@amelie-black @justfinishthis @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @criminalyetminimal @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @siriuslyceleste @golddustwomann @fific7 @littleshadow17 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @livshifts @jsjcue @stelleduarte @millies0bsimp @coffeeaddictednymph @readtomeregulus @saramaple @missgorldafirst @i-love-scott-mccall @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @buttercup-beeee @f4iryluvy @panpride @daddyslittlevillain @gugggu6gvai @jag9000 @quinis @mentally-unstable-hoe @yousmellllikecaca @haroldpotterson @goldensunshineshit @aurorasnape12 @ad-astra-again @dumybitch @marichromatic @ravenhood2792 @play-morezeppelin @spideyxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @rubyroscoe1 @lostarc24 @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @deanwherescas @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @wontlookaway @shitfaceddaniel-blog @mycuddlycorner @bennyberry @bxcndd

[thelastspeecher]

I've been working on this off and on for A While but finally got around to finishing it. I don't know what to title it though so uh here. Have Stan and Angie reconciling in the Pollution Powers AU. It takes place following this ficlet.

———————————————————————————————————–

                 “No, this is about how you insult and degrade some poor girl after spending our entire lives defending me from the same behavior!”  Stan stared blankly at Angie in the back of the science classroom as she scribbled some things down in her notebook.  Her lab partner, Ford, said something to her.  She nodded.  Is Ford right?  Am I…a bully?  He wanted to deny it, but he couldn’t lie to himself.  At least, not about something like this.  Angie doesn’t deserve the way I’ve been treating her any more than Ford deserved being shoved into locker.  It’s not self-defense or even revenge.  It’s bullying.  Stan swallowed.  I’m a bully.

                 “Uh…Stan?” squeaked his assigned lab partner, some shrimpy guy whose name he could never remember.  “You should probably be more careful…”  Stan tuned him out, still ruminating on the revelation he had been acting like a bully.  His musings were cut short by searing heat on his wrist.  He let out a yelp and whipped his head around.  His mouth went dry.

                 His hand had strayed too close to the active Bunsen burner.  Fire was spreading up the sleeve of his shirt, but worse, he could see his hand beginning to darken, a sheen on his fingers catching the light of the flames.

                 Shit, shit, shit!  No!  Don’t turn oil!  But it was no use.  His body refused to listen to him.  Stan screamed as the oil caught up with the fire, burning so deep it felt like it reached his bone.  He collapsed to the floor, closing his eyes.  His classmates let out gasps and shouts.  I’m gonna die.  I’m gonna die an asshole.  A harsh gush of wind suddenly enveloped him, accompanied by a loud whoosh.  The burning stopped its spread, though much of what had already been hit remained searingly painful.  Deafening silence fell.  Stan opened his eyes.

                 A yellow powder stuck to his still oily skin.  The fire was gone.  Pointedly avoiding his arm, Stan looked in the direction the wind had come from.  The classroom fire extinguisher was a mere foot away from him.  But the person holding the fire extinguisher was still at the back of the classroom, where she had been when Stan last saw her.  His jaw dropped.  Angie blushed furiously.  Her arms, which extended across the classroom, slowly retracted, shrinking to their normal length.  She set the fire extinguisher on the floor.  Ford patted her shoulder with a smile.

                 “I was gone for five minutes!” an exasperated voice said.  All heads turned.  The science teacher stood in the doorway, arms crossed, tapping her foot irritably.  “All right, what happened?” she snapped.

                 “Stan caught on fire and Angie put him out,” Stan’s lab partner piped up nervously.  The science teacher looked at Stan for confirmation.  Stan nodded.

                 “Great.”  The science teacher walked over to Stan and helped him up.  At the sight of his arm, she gasped.  “Holy-”  She took a deep breath.  “Has anyone finished with their assignment?”  Stan didn’t have to look to know that Ford and Angie would be raising their hands.  “Excellent.  Stanford, take Stanley to the nurse.  Now.”

                 “Yes, Miss Stephens,” Ford said obediently.  Stan silently gathered his things and waited by the door for Ford.  The class slowly returned to their normal activities.  Ford joined Stan at the door.  The two exited the classroom together.  They walked down the hallway in awkward silence for a few minutes before Ford finally cleared his throat.

                 “So, uh, how are you?” he asked hesitantly.

                 “In agonizing pain, but other than that, just peachy,” Stan snapped.  Ford winced.

                 “Yeah.  So.  Uh.  You’re flammable in oil form, apparently.”

                 “No shit.”  Stan looked away.  “Did you know about Angie’s contamination?”  There was a beat.

                 “Yes.”

                 “How long?”

                 “For a while now,” Ford said softly.  “I witnessed her fingers stretching when she was practicing piano.”

                 “Why didn’t you tell me?” Stan demanded.  “If I knew, I wouldn’t have-”

                 “Bullied her?” Ford finished.  “Stanley, we both know that’s not true.  You were following Jimmy’s lead, and Jimmy would have found some new reason to mess with her.  He made her his target the moment he saw her.”

                 “…Yeah,” Stan mumbled.  “But seriously, why didn’t you tell me?  You’re supposed to tell me stuff.  We’re twins!”

                 “We haven’t been acting like twins as of late.”  Ford sighed.  “Even if we were as close as we used to be, Angie made me promise to not tell anyone.  It’s her contamination and she wanted to have control over when and how people learn about it.”  Stan grimaced.

                 “And then I was stupid and set myself on fire and she didn’t have a choice.”

                 “She did.  I could have grabbed the fire extinguisher and rushed up to you.  I was about to do so.  But Angie beat me to it.”

                 “Why?”

                 “She’s surprisingly level-headed when it comes to high stress situations,” Ford said.  “She claims it’s because her generally high levels of anxiety prepare her for the moments in which everyone else panics or freezes.”

                 “I guess that makes sense.”

                 That’s not what I meant.  Why did she save me after the way I treated her?  They arrived at the nurse’s office.

                 “Do you want me to come in with you?” Ford asked.  Stan shook his head.

                 “Nah.  I can handle it.”

                 “Should I wait?”

                 “Um.”  Stan steeled himself and finally looked at his burned arm.  His stomach churned.  He frantically swallowed the bile rising in his throat.  “No,” he croaked.  “I think- I think I’m gonna be here for a while.”

-----

                 Stan walked up to the second floor, where the dorm rooms were located.  After a moment’s hesitation, he turned right instead of left.  Most of the doors on the girls’ side were closed, but a few were open, their inhabitants looking at Stan in confusion.  Stan hunched his shoulders and stared down at the floor.  Some of the boys spent regular time on the girls’ side; Ford and Fiddleford visited Angie in her room regularly.  But Stan hadn’t gotten close to any of the female students, and as such, wasn’t allowed in any of their rooms.  Which some girls enforced gleefully.

                 Including Angie’s roommate.  Stan winced, thinking about Bethany.  Moses, please don’t let her be there.  She’s scary.  As the most recently enrolled girl, Angie’s room was at the end of the hallway, resulting in a seemingly endless trek.  When he finally reached it, the door was open, revealing Angie sitting on her bed, strumming on a ukulele.  To Stan’s relief, Angie’s scary roommate was nowhere to be seen.  He coughed.  Angie looked up.  Her mismatched eyes widened.

                 “Stanley!”  She seemed confused.  “Um.  Are ya lookin’ fer Stanford?”

                 “No.  I, uh, I’m looking for you.”

                 “…Why?” Angie asked suspiciously.

                 “You saved my life.  I figured I’d, uh, talk to you.”  Angie’s brow furrowed slightly.  Stan quickly utilized the phrasing Ford had suggested.  “I want to clear the air.”  Angie chewed on her lip.

                 “Well, um, in that case, you can come in.”  Angie moved aside so that Stan could sit next to her.  “How’s yer arm?” she asked softly.  Stan looked down at his bandages.

                 “Well, it’s not so bad they’re gonna amputate,” he joked.

                 “I reckon it’s awful painful,” Angie said, her southern drawl suddenly very prominent.

                 “Um.”  Stan rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.  “Some of it is.  But not all of it.”  Angie gasped.  One of her hands daintily covered her mouth.

                 “Oh, no!  Third degree burns?”

                 “How did you-”

                 “I grew up on a farm.  I learned basic first aid at a young age.  Part of that means knowin’ when somethin’s bad enough ya need to go to the hospital.  Third degree burns, the kind what don’t hurt ‘cause the nerve endings are destroyed, that’s when ya need a doctor.”  Angie put her hand on Stan’s knee.  “I’m sorry.  I should’ve moved faster.”

                 “What?” Stan stared at her.  “You moved plenty fast!”

                 “You got third degree burns!”

                 “Yeah.  But I could’ve died,” Stan said firmly.  “You saved my life.”  Angie’s eyes widened.  Her cheeks turned pink.  Stan shifted, uncomfortable from the impulsive vulnerability.  “Um.  Even when I’m not in oil form, I’ve still got oil all in me.  Like, all of me has it.  I was gonna go up in flames even if I didn’t lose control and start turning fully oil.”  Angie nodded.

                 “I get that.  I’m the same way.  My contamination, it’s from an herbicide.  I’ve got the herbicide in my body.  Every cell’s got some of it.”

                 “Really?” Stan asked, interested.  “I didn’t know that was where you got your contamination.”  Angie looked away, rubbing her arm.

                 “Yep.  That’s what it comes from,” she mumbled.  An awkward silence fell.  After a few moments, Angie sighed.  “Why are you really here, Stan?”

                 “Whattaya mean?”

                 “Did Fidds or Stanford put ya up to this?”

                 “No!”  Stan grimaced.  “But they did give me some advice for what to say.”

                 “You came here out of the goodness of yer own heart?”

                 “I dunno how much good I’ve got in my heart, but I’m not here ‘cause someone told me to be here.”  Angie looked at Stan with a doubtful expression.  “I’m here ‘cause it finally got through to me that I’ve been an asshole to you.  And you didn’t deserve it.”

                 “I don’t want you to start treatin’ me nice only because I helped ya out.  Then ya didn’t learn anything, ya just decided ya owed me,” Angie said firmly.  Stan raised an eyebrow, impressed.

                 I’ve gotta stop underestimating the McGuckets.

                 “I was gonna talk to you before the whole…”  Stan waved his uninjured arm vaguely.  “…fire thing.”

                 “Really.”

                 “Really.  Last night, Ford and I, we had a talk.”

                 “Goin’ off what I know ‘bout the two of ya, I’m guessin’ it weren’t a meaningful heart-to-heart?”

                 “No.  There was shouting and Ford exploded something.”

                 “Is that why security went ‘round checkin’ all the rooms?” Angie asked.  “Bethany got woke up by it and was wonderin’ what made ‘em do a random check.”

                 “Yeah.  That was us.”  Stan took a deep breath.  “But even though Ford exploded something, what he said really- like I said, it got through my stupid thick skull.  I was planning on talking to you today.”

                 “And then ya caught on fire.”

                 “Yeah, that ruined my plan.”

                 “I see.”

                 “But I’m gonna change,” Stan said quickly.  “I don’t want to be the kinda person I protected Ford from back home.”  Angie searched Stan’s face.  She hesitated, then nodded slightly.

                 “I believe ya.”

                 “You do?”

                 “Maybe I shouldn’t.  Bethany will definitely get on my case ‘bout it.  But my fam’ly believes in second chances.  I want to make sure ya have one.”

                 “So…we’re good?” Stan asked hesitantly.  Angie looked down at the floor, her brow furrowed.  Eventually, she shook her head.

                 “No.  We’re not.  But if ya make good on the promise to change fer the better, we will be eventually.”  She shot Stan a hesitant smile.  Stan returned it with a grin of his own.

                 “I’ll take it.”

[chaoslynx]

@whiskeysmultimuse: AU where Griff's okay and is there to throw Ash a nice birthday party. I love the brothers so much. ;-;

Griffin claps his hands together. This is his first chance to celebrate Ash's birthday since he left for the military, and he's not going to let it pass him by.

"All right, boys," he calls to Ash's gang. He knows that Bones and a couple of the other trans guys like when Griff calls them that. "What do we have planned for Ash's birthday?"

They all blink at him as silence envelops the room.

Griff frowns. "You don't have anything planned?" he asks, shocked.

"None of us know when his birthday is," Kong admits quietly.

Eiji offers an apologetic smile. "He hasn't even told me," he adds.

Griffin groans. Of fucking course. God, that little brother of his probably didn't think anyone would even care. "Have you all asked?"

"Boss don't like questions like that," Alex mumbles. "He don't react too well to personal shit."

Sighing, Griff rolls his eyes. For a gang of street kids, they really don't have any confidence. "Well, I'll break the suspense, then. Ash's birthday is August 12th."

"Are you sure we should—?" Bones squeaks. "Won't Boss be mad?"

But Eiji grins, and Griff knows he has an ally in this. "Griffin is right!" Eiji announces. "We should do something for him. Even something small. We all care about Ash here, right? Why wouldn't we want to show him that?"

There are some murmurs of agreement from the boys. Griff nods in approval. They can make this happen.

"We've only got a few days to plan, so let's hop to it!"

— — —

Ash is fucking tired. 

Griffin recovering from banana fish was unexpected, and—as much as Ash wanted to just live the life he could have had with his brother—he still had other shit to take care of.

But Griff was surprisingly adaptive to all of the, uh, everything. To what Ash's life had become. And he quickly integrated into Ash's gang, taking on a position as something of a role model to some of the guys.

But anyway, Ash still has to keep everyone safe, not to mention taking down Dino and the mess with the government and banana fish. He can't let what happened to Griffin keep happening to other people.

He pulls out his burner phone on the way back to the condo, glancing at the time. It's late—or, rather, early in the morning. Ash has been out all night.

The date catches his attention too, and it takes him a second to remember why it's anything noteworthy.

August 12th ...

Oh. Not noteworthy. Just Ash's birthday.

He sighs, slipping the phone back into his pocket.

He's eighteen now ...

He honestly never thought he'd make it to adulthood. Not that he's ever really been a kid, but—

Shaking those thoughts off, Ash slips into the condo building and heads up to the flat.

He's so fucking tired.

He's not expecting anyone else to be awake when he opens the door, so he's definitely not expecting what does happen.

"Happy birthday!" a dozen voices call.

Ash is so shocked that he reaches for his gun out of habit, freezing part way.

... What?

He kicks the door shut behind him, too stunned to do much else.

"I, uh—" he starts. Then he narrows his eyes, looking at Griffin. "You," he hisses.

Griffin rubs at the back of his head, grinning. "Yeah," he admits. "Me. Come on, Aslan, I can't believe you didn't tell the boys your birthday."

"We've got other shit to worry about!" Ash starts. "We can't afford the time or effort to ..." He trails off, looking around the living room.

They decorated.

There are streamers and balloons everywhere, and Ash finds himself flushing.

"Come on, Ash," Eiji says. "It's your birthday. We just want to celebrate with you."

Despite himself, Ash starts to soften. He knows he can't really win—not against both Eiji and Griff when they unite. 

He looks down, embarrassed suddenly that they did this all for him.

"Fine," he mumbles. "Thank you. We can—we'll ... celebrate. For a little. But I expect everyone to be back on track tomorrow, understood?"

There's the usual chorus of "Yes, Boss," but it's interspersed with a laughter that makes it less than convincing.

Sighing, Ash looks around the room again. He can't really be upset with Eiji and Griffin undermining his authority.

Not when it makes him so happy.

Send me prompts!

[charmixpower]

Been thinking more about the Bloom's parents are evil au, bc admittedly main characters being princesses is absolutely not my thing. Unless it's a political drama about fighting another member of the royal family, those are sick

Domino's first meeting with Bloom is when Tecna and Stella sets up projector screens and Musa projects her voice, after they've all been saved, so Bloom can address as many people as possible

Bloom has never done public speaking and practically everyone falls in love with this adorable girlie

Marion and Oritel are the first people from Domino she probably meets, the actual first people who ever so slightly mob her into a group hug

They're a couple who are the main Guardian faries for Domino, because Daphne was considered the Guardian of all of Magix

Marion immediately starts cooing over Bloom because she's been nearly murdered since she was 16 and Marion's motherly instincts are taking over

Marion and Oritel essentially are Bloom's first contact with what Domino is really like, and after this they're part of the ambassador team for Domino. So the Winx, and mostly importantly Bloom, keep seeing them

Marion and Oritel worked closely as Guardians with Daphne, so they have a LOT of stories about her

Marion and Oritel we're already low key parental to Daphne, who was really struggling under the pressure of gaining Nymphix and fighting the ancestral witches (they need a new cooler name—)

Marion and Oritel get phones and whenever Bloom has a question about Domino or what's currently going on with acclimating to new society she texts them because they're willing to deal with her chaotic tendencies and constant rambling

And they kinda adore her. She's so adorable, and they desperately want kids (but the political and social situation makes that hard) so they're low key playing aunt and uncle

Bloom's parents are near the back, no where near Bloom, and they only saw the address because of the screens and amplification magic

The first time they meet they're ecstatic to see her, but they're pushy. Incredibly pushy

They keep making small remarks about Bloom's adoptive parents not being her real parents, they keep calling her their name for her instead of Bloom (even when Bloom tells them not to), they expect her to move in with them, they expect her to immediately uproot her life to be the princess of Domino and Bloom doesn't want to. Bloom has low self esteem, hates being the center of attention, and is just plain fucking weird; so she kinda pulls back

They're a lot of small arguments because Bloom's parents are very traditional and Bloom is very not and Bloom as already shown she's really uncomfortable with most of the stuff expected of her and they're relationship is tenuous at best. She feels more a prop for good pr instead of their daughter

They also don't have any funny or cool stories about Daphne. They mostly talk about her in a very stiff way and it makes Bloom sad lol

I think it's rlly weird that the magix dimension is so advanced but still has monarchies? So there really aren't any absolute power monarchies around any more, the Eraklyon empire and it's royal family just fell last year and it was the last big absolute power monarchy. There's other smaller ones, on fringe smaller planets, but Domino is a outlier now

Like most absolute monarchies, there was a revolution brewing, but with the whole dimension being attacked thing going on Marion and Oritel put the whole "murder the shit king a queen" on the back burner

And then Daphne happened and they felt so bad for the girl and all she's going through, so put it more on the back burner

They're very happy that Bloom seems distant from her parents, it means she will be hurt less when they get rid of the king and queen

(they don't get arrested for this because the magic council ruled they're not a proper part of the magical dimension yet, they still finger wag at the couple tho. The period of destabilization is undercut by the entire magical dimension pitching in to bring Domino into the new age. So it's pretty quickly re-stabilized)

Bloom is part horrified, part happy that Domino doesn't have an absolute monarch anymore, part more scared and sad that her parents are in jail/gone, part relived that she doesn't have to deal with any more ect ect this back in forth in her head goes on and on

Technically the monarchy isn't gone because Bloom, and they ask her to step down to free Domino of the choke hold it's always been in from the magically powerful royal family

Bloom does so, and Marion and Oritel are very happy about this

(Sky is having a host of emotions, and a big part of him wants to burst out laughing that both he and Bloom ended up in the same situation)

Unsurprisingly this strains their relationship but they warm back up to eachother once they explain why Bloom's parents really really needed to be out of that chair right then. Bloom gets it, I can't imagine Bloom being pro monarchy outside of the initial "omg fairy princess 🥺" and she realizes that it's actually a political system

They eventually repair their relationship, and Marion and Oritel end up calling themselves Bloom's aunt and uncle and their child is Bloom's cousin by that logic lol, Bloom loves the little spark

Bloom is still beloved by the public and takes the official role of the Guardian fairy of Domino once the political system is re-set up

The other girls help her get use to being a proper Guardian Fairy as a part of a system and Marion and Oritel do everything to make her as comfortable as possible

Marion probably is elected leader, so she handles all this for Bloom

Mike and Vanessa can move to Domino whenever the fuck they want and live off of Bloom's considerable magical dimension salary (that doesn't work on the not integrated Earth) they go back and forth on it but if they did they'd become parent friends with Marion and Oritel

Daphne in this world is more elegant, close off, and proper compared to my normal fire cracker characterization to match with her new status as the good one from the royal family

Bloom has a small break down about how she could of turned out at least once, it's fine tho

You think there's like?? Events for Guardian Faries? Bloom has always been invited because of her role in protecting the dimension but it's always been awkward because she doesn't have a planet, and now she does and that's cool

There is a small (read: large) media circus around these events and Bloom fucking hated how she was constantly hounded

Stella and Aisha handle it for her and if push comes to shove Tecna and Musa chase them off with a stick

I think that's all my thoughts for now about this au/idea but I really like it rjejsje

[deuxcherise]

Operation YAN

C/w: Imagination station, woo. Fake humans, mentions of government, unhealthy behavior, mentions of murder, mentions of pedophilia, mentions of homophobia, mentions of other sexualities, mentions the word "love" a lot, mentions sacrilegious things (making fun of religion, kind of? All in good fun, of course), no beta we die like men

A/n: So I was thinking–I know, such a dangerous occupation–but I was thinking, I want to write a universe much like that one genshin doll au (good lord, why is that when I can't find what I'm looking for until I'm not looking for it???) or any hypotheticals. It's probably already done before but I still wanna write it. Masterlist

It started with an idea.

Jesus (pronounced hay-SOOS)–Yes, that was the name of the man who changed the world–Alfaro was listening to a good friend of his going on and on about his ex-girlfriend, who left him for various reasons.

His friend clicked his tongue. “Man, if only I wasn't such a dumbass… But then I wouldn't be such a dumbass if she wasn't such a dumb bi–”

A light bulb lit up in Jesus's head. What if I were to biomedically engineer the perfect woman for my friend? he thought.

It sounds unrealistic how this idea came about, but to be fair, this rendition was passed down for generations.

Jesus had a biomedical degree sitting on the back burner for several years now since he couldn't find any work. AI had already taken over most of the available jobs. For Jesus and his friend, the last time they saw a human worker in a fast food restaurant or a construction worker was probably when they were in middle school. Jesus was only able to pay for the ridiculously expensive tuition from a lottery scholarship, and he had to work twice as hard as any human in history just to graduate since most of his classmates were AI bots (why AI felt the need to subject their own to school life is beyond anyone's understanding).

Anyway, back to the point. He decided to make use of his biomedical degree and scrounge up all kinds of materials to make his idea happen, from flasks to dials to an incubator. This process included gathering a few samples from his friend, such as hair, saliva, blood, urine, and genital fluids.

“Bro, that's gay.”

“Dude, don't you want the perfect woman though?”

His friend clicked his tongue. “Shit. Fine. Just… just give me a several minutes.”

It only took a minute for Jesus to get a semen sample, but that's digressing from the story.

Anyway, it took several years for Jesus to make it happen, but it happened. The perfect woman, based on his friend’s preferences, was born.

Jesus almost didn't give her up to his friend because he felt like he was giving up his daughter to a fiend. He valued his friendship, yes, but he had to admit his friend was such a dumbass when it came to women.

But miraculously, his friend became a changed man after meeting this perfect woman. Overnight, Jesus's friend became a devoted, and loyal charmer who also became the perfect husband to his wife and father to his children.

Why did this work, one may ask?

Well, Jesus had taken into account biological and sexual compatibilities when he was constructing the perfect woman for his best friend. First, he was able to somehow alter his friend's DNA, so their future children wouldn't inherit any dysfunctional genes that would shorten their lifespan or quality of life. This also eliminated the idea of incest, despite this perfect woman being constructed utilizing his friend's DNA, since Jesus had to make many, many, many adjustments to his friend's sperm to change it into a viable egg. It would've been far easier if Jesus could have secured an egg sample from a willing woman, but the idea of his friend copulating with what is essentially his female self was far better than… well, a “daughter”. Leave it to Jesus to look out for his friend. 👍

Jesus was not initially an ambitious man, but his friend would brag about his love life to anyone who would listen. This led to Jesus gaining attention, both good and bad attention. There was a point where Jesus had to give birth to several perfect women for a notorious gang who threatened to kill his loved ones.

It was easier this time to grow a woman in a lab, since he already had the knowledge. However, the same thing that happened to his friend happened again to these gang members. These vicious beasts became the most upstanding citizens he had ever seen after they were given their own perfect woman. It was like the power of love performs miracles.

That's when it started the flame of his ambition, and he began to seek out all of the resources and connections he could to continue performing these miracles. The government caught on and decided to collaborate with Jesus in order to combat the world's falling population numbers.

And so, Operation YAN was launched.

The initial batch targeted young, straight men who displayed too much maiden-less behavior to get and keep a lady–much like Jesus's friend. Instead of being upfront about the whole process, the government decided to plant Jesus's women into places these men would most likely frequent, such as adjacent houses making them neighbors.

Most of the women were kind of similar, which may be a result of the targeted men being similar. Friendly, loving, affectionate–so affectionate since they were born to love that these biologically engineered women were codenamed “Your Affectionate Neighbor” aka YAN.

Of course, success was expected and received. However, it may have worked too well…

These biologically engineered women were born to love, but humans are very complex creatures. Not only because these women were born literally days old as adults instead of growing up like natural human women, but because they were constructed to love only their target. Their target, of course, fell in love with them truly but they have their own lives too, whereas these YANs don’t. And the idea of their target leaving them or paying more attention to someone else was far too much for them to handle, that there became cases where these YANs would mercilessly kill anyone they perceived as love rivals.

Since most of these victims tended to be other women, Operation YAN extended to producing male YANs for single straight women in order to combat these jealousy allegations. Eventually this operation expanded their production to include producing YANs for homosexual, bisexual, asexual, etc people since apparently these YANs get jealous way too easily when it comes to meeting a person who is single. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, so having a platonic YAN by your side is better protection than not having one! 😀

Nowadays, you can even have a YAN that grows up with you–Pardon? That branch was discontinued due to general discomfort, pedophilic allegations and child murders? Of course, of course. Apologies, folks. Due to potential abuse of these YANs (whether you consider them human or not) and various ethical reasons, you must be an adult at the legal age of 25 to receive your very own YAN.

Why 25? That's because you can only receive one YAN in your lifetime! And it is very important that the details and preferences you fill out on your paperwork are very, very thought out.

Speaking of which, if you want to get your own YAN today, log into your personal tablet and fill out the required electronic work. Here is a preview:

You must be 25 and older to be legible to receive your very own YAN.

You must sign and print your first name, middle name (if applicable), and surname in all of the indicated boxes, to ensure your informed consent. You must also write down your Social Security number and your permanent address in all of the indicated boxes.

You must completely fill out your personality quiz to the best of your ability.

You must completely fill out your ideal type to the best of your ability.

You will be required to be fingerprinted and photographed for recognition purposes.

You will be required to supply a blood sample, a hair sample, a saliva sample, a urine sample, and a discharge sample from your genitals (if applicable–if you do not have genitals, then you do not need to provide this particular sample). We will have licensed doctors provided for you if need be.

Failure to complete all of the above properly will result in the negation of this application.

Finally, once you place your application, there are no refunds.

Allow us to repeat: ATTENTION!! THERE ARE NO TAKEBACKS. RETURNS ARE IMPOSSIBLE. YOUR YAN WAS CREATED JUST FOR YOU, THEREFORE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO REUSE SAID YAN FOR ANY OTHER PURPOSE EXCEPT TO LOVE YOU. IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY WITH YOUR YAN, PLEASE MAKE THE BEST OF IT. THERE ARE MANY SOURCES AVAILABLE, INCLUDING THERAPY, ONLINE VIDEOS, AND PETS. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR IRRESPONSIBILITY.

Thank you and have a wonderful life with your YAN. In Jesus, we trust. 😊

[starsscarmyceiling]

Homemade Dynamite, please?

OmGGGgg yay I am glad someone asked about this! Thanks anon! Unfortunately, this one’s been on the back burner for quite a BIT, but I mean @jan-uarys and I spent several hours last night freaking the FUCK out about it and it honestly got me hyped for it all over again!

This fic came about from my first Reylo modern AU, Keep the Blinds Open, wherein Ben moves across the street and Rey has to wipe her drool away and be like OH NO HE'S HOT…and basically, Rey wants to be in denial for so long and they’re both so stubborn that they didn’t even talk to each other or MEET until Ben had been living there for like a whole YEAR haha. Then one day my dyad in the force @saratogagrounder and I were talking about what it would be like if that happened with Merrical…and we were like LOL Merrin would never stand for that…and she ofc encouraged me to write the fic after we giggled about it for quite some time and we all know it takes like absolutely NO effort for me to take on another WIP—💀

But yeah so Merrin moves in across the street, Cal FREAKS out about it obvs, and is like omg how am I even going to live my life now with her being there and being all hot all the time and stuffs FUCK—and she’s been living there for like a couple of months at this point, and then Cal is standing in his kitchen one day contemplating if he should make himself some dino chicken nuggets for dinner and they make eye contact for the first time when she comes home, and he is just like frozen in place like SHIT SHIT SHIT SHITTTT WHAT DO I DO…and WHAT does our boy do?? HEH, he ends up just like awkwardly waving at her ofc. Then she just tilts her head at him, and then promptly leaves her apartment.

“Oh my god,” Cal said out loud, “I fucking—freaked her out so much she immediately had to leave her apartment.”

He let out a severe exhale as he started to pace about his kitchen for several minutes.

“Jesus Christ Beedee, I think we’re gonna have to move now—there’s no way I’m coming back from that—I can never look at her again.”

Cal grunted, bringing his index finger and thumb to his eyes and rubbing at them.

“Why—why are you like this? That was so fucking—”

There was a knock on his door. His head whipped over to it and he thought he might have been hearing things as he just stood there for a moment—or it could have been several before he heard it again as Beedee also barked along with it.

Cal looked at his dog, “Go lay down boy, it’s fine.”

The dog listened and went to his bed, but still whined a little.

“What the…” Cal said to himself as he placed his coffee down on the counter and paced to his door in such baffling steps, “who would—”

Cal unlocked the door, and there on the other side of it, was none other than her—his hot neighbor—right in front of him.

His eyes were probably popping out of his sockets as he said nothing for a sequence of seconds and just gawked at her, almost tempted to ask if she meant to come here.

She did know that—he lived here, right?

“Well,” she stated in a voice with an accent oh god she had an accent, “are you going to invite me inside?”

Cal just blinked a couple of times as she raised an eyebrow at him.

Oh my god say something—

“Uh—yeah, right,” Cal stammered, knowing he was severely red as he cleared his throat and stepped aside, “come on—in.”

She sounded Russian to him. Why was that hot? Jesus Christ she was so much hotter up close—

Strolling past him like she’d been here before, Cal closed the door behind her and he immediately shoved his hands down the pockets of his jeans as she still hadn’t faced him.

“Did you uh—” Cal panicked, so taken aback and so confused, “did you mean to come here?”

Why did he ask that?

She chuckled a little, “No, I meant to go to the Italian restaurant down the street and somehow ended up here.”

Cal snorted, not expecting such a quip from her, but then still felt all his anxiety crushing him as he took an unsteady breath.

“You know, I get that a lot—probably from all the gourmet meals I am always cooking for myself—the secret’s out.”

His heart was racing as she laughed again, and wow her laugh was—beautiful? Was that a weird thing to think?

All he knew is that he was trying not to focus on her, but then all he could focus on was her and no he wasn’t checking out her body or her perfect ass—

“Perhaps you could pitch them your favorite meal of chicken nuggets and whiskey—I am sure they’ll be very interested in hearing the recipe,” she responded, and honestly, he didn’t know why that felt like the wind was being knocked out of him, but there were just too many implications in that sentence that he simply couldn’t brush aside—

Cal needed to breathe; he wasn’t breathing—

“Uh—huh—they’ve been hounding me for years over it,” Cal stated in a voice that really didn’t sound as steady as his last sentence…almost like he had just gone through puberty and he was pretending to sound older than he actually was.

“My my, I am sure,” she stated, and Cal really didn’t know what to say to that.

He couldn’t still quite believe that she was just walking around in his apartment as she placed her purse down on his counter, clearly judging his things as he just stood there openly gaping at her like that was going to make this situation any better.

“You waved at me,” she pointed out.

And see Cal was trying to completely forget about the fact that his innate reaction to actually making eye contact with his new hot neighbor for the first time was to fucking awkwardly wave at her.

“Yeah—I…certainly did that.”

She turned to him finally, her eyes completely scanning over him like she was trying to size him up for something.

“Was that not an invitation to come over?” She asked as casually as if this was for some reason an entirely normal, commonplace really, way to interact with someone. Step one, sure, stare at your hot neighbor like some creeper, and then step two, wave at her like a complete buffoon, which will obviously lead her to showing up at your door unannounced.

What world was he living in right now?

“Oh, uh—” Cal stammered, knowing for damn sure that was not his intention, and if he were less awkward of a person perhaps he could actually be trying to accomplish something with this gorgeous person—even if it were to at the very least be having a successful conversation, “I guess it could have been…because it’s not like I mind you being here or anything—” oh fuck where the fuck was he going with this he needed to change gears now— “do you want some coffee or something?”

Her expression was difficult to read, but it could have possibly been like she was pitying him, “I suppose so…I take mine black.”

Cal lifted both his hands and pointed his index fingers at her, “Great.”

Well that was a weird thing to do. Then again, so was everything he did.

He thought being able to concentrate on doing something would help his anxiety as he noted Beedee had approached her and started sniffing at her. She bent down to give him a pet on his head.

“Oh uh—that’s Beedee, don’t worry he’s very friendly,” Cal said as he got a mug from his cupboard. He paced to the coffee machine and grabbed the pot. She seemed to have no response to him, but she was still giving his dog attention, so that was hot—

That was hot? What? Was everything she did hot just because she was so hot?

“And I’m Cal, by the way—Cal Kestis—um—if you wanted to know.”

She looked up at him, and he couldn’t quite tell if there was an upturn to her lip or not, but she definitely had raised her eyebrow at him, “Congratulations Cal Kestis.”

Normal—he felt very normal about her uttering his full name.

“Yeah, I get that a lot too,” Cal said without thought, “short for Calcium.”

For the first time there seemed to be a crack in her mostly stoic countenance as he walked over to her and offered the coffee mug.

“Is it really?”

Cal couldn’t help it, he smirked as she took the mug from his hand, “Of course.”

Her eyebrows knitted together, “Did your parents hate you?”

Parents—what an always excellent topic with him.

“You know—I think they must have.”

Honestly, not such a bad explanation on the fly.

She eyed him, making no attempt to drink her coffee.

“I feel as though you are making another stupid joke—but your tone just seemed more confident this time,” she claimed, and then he smiled again, trying not to focus on how he loved the shade of her brown eyes.

“Yeah, and now I just ran out of material, so it’s all downhill from here I’m afraid,” Cal said back, not even sure where that came from.

“Hm,” she hummed before she now took a sip of her coffee, “what a shame.”

Frankly, he was a little gobsmacked. She was—like very intimidatingly charming? And it just rendered him devoid of any more words or stupid jokes.

Damn, maybe he really was out of material.

As she turned from him again and began to once more circumvent the room.

And he watched her, just not finding it in him to look away again, and he just—he really wanted to ask her if she really came over here because he just fucking awkwardly waved at her.

He opened his mouth, but then she began speaking again.

“You watch me,” she stated in a complete matter of fact manner. Cal was not finding it difficult to decipher that she was just an extremely blunt person.

“Oh, yeah um,” he said, placing his hands on his hips, “you’re kind of…hard to miss.”

He looked up into her eyes and those brown irises were staring into his soul just a few paces away from him now.

Jesus—could he say anything remotely normal?

“I’m sorry,” he stated simply, hoping it would suffice enough for being a total creep, “I didn’t mean it in like—I—I mean I am not trying to be—”

God—he should probably just inform her that yes, he will be prompting moving out as soon as possible.

Because could he even deny his extremely inconvenient but still very real attraction to her?

She kept her stare on him for another few moments before she spoke, “Do not be sorry,” she stated, not turning from him entirely as she walked over to his window, “I watch you too.”

Cal was incidentally and entirely grateful that she could not see him right now because his jaw dropped a bit and his brain definitely forgot how to function for several seconds.

AHHH this is very first drafty EXCUSE

After disssss things get real REAL fun as I am attempting my first NON slow burn ever as they start boning right away, and it becomes and emotional slow burn. Merrin is like oh, feelings? I had those removed several years ago and Cal is like bet.

Cal’s a paramedic, and one day him and Kanan unfortunately lose someone and they have to wheel the body down to the morgue and GuEsS wHo’S tHe NeW MorGuE DoCtoR—😏

OOOOoHHH it gets SO fun from here as they navigate just banging on the reg and Merrin is like LOLZ I don’t do feelings and also being neighbors and seeing each other at work. There’s def a time or two they also bang in a janitor’s closet. Calamity ensues as Cal gets her coffee one morning along with everyone else’s and Merrin’s like you’re not allowed to be nice to me—and Cal’s like HA well too bad because I’m gonna anyway, actually.

Also @starryjediknight, I am DEF putting in some background Sabezra in there with Ezra being a nurse and Sabine being another doctor who lowkey caught Merrin and Cal coming out of the janitor’s closet, and she’s like lol girl you banging that hot ginger mess…and Merrin’s like NOO…well..maybe…YES we’ve banged a ton what do you want from me, and then Sabine is like lol I’m not judging I’m banging that nurse Ezra. I think I should also throw in some Cal and Ezra bonding over having scary hot doctor gfs LOL

Soooo YEAH v excited for this fic. It’s gonna be the best angsty ridiculous smutty Merrical rom com I as per USH from me…so I hope you guys will enjoy just as much too!

[crumbleclub]

Anyway informing you that 1. Ur posts are so incredible and good and they're a treasure to see i prommy, and 2. Ur ficlet for dream theory revamp au is taking up rental space in my head. Having silly thoughts about Evan just acting completely dead after he learns the truth about henry. He doesn't play anymore. Doesn't talk. He can't even work up the energy to be Super Nice To Mike So He Doesn't Want To Die Again like he's been doing for all the time Mike has been back. Mike definitely notices, but whether he feels comfortable/capable enough of confronting Evan about it is up in the air. Oooo, or, or maybe Evan leans even *further* into the Be Super Nice To Mike So He Doesn't Want To Die thing bc he's lost Henry and Mike is the only thing Evan has left

AWWW POOR BB

From my perspective (since it's ur au lol):

Mike would be so weirded out by seeing his brother stop playing and talking, but I doubt he'd know what to say. He wouldn't guess that it was about Henry, and, since it wasn't immediately after his attempt, he wouldn't associate those things together, either. He might wonder if something else happened that he didn't know about– William being rougher with Evan since Mike was still healing physically, maybe, or some unrelated problem his anxiety could conjure up– and one thing my Michael will always be is nosy. Like, this is a situation where it's actually somewhat helpful– one should look into it if their little brother shows a clear trauma response, obviously– but he's nosy in every other situation, too.

Rather than ask what's up like a normal person, he'd probably start paying way more attention to Evan (and William, and everyone else Evan interacts with)'s behavior to figure it out. He might try to ask in very roundabout ways if he couldn't find anything elsewhere, but he'd try not to let it look like concern for Evan.

(That's not a conscious decision, or even related to his abuse of Evan or any resentment he might still hold; it's a completely unrelated conditioned response that mostly relates back to the whole incident with William using a dog as a lure and getting pissed when Mike tries to interrupt.)

The first response, Evan losing the will to be extra nice, could be percieved by Mike as either an extension of the trauma response Evan seems to be having that he can't figure out the cause of– which would drive him to investigate further– or as things starting to go back to normal, where Evan has a justified fear of his brother and they don't really talk much.

It would make him sad, though, which he wouldn't be expecting. He might have to examine either the fact that he does need some affection in his life to feel okay– which is typical– or the fact that he might, shocker, actually want to have a decent relationship with his little brother. Both of these things would be a pretty arduous process for him; he's emotionally immature, even for as young as he is, and this sort of thing isn't something he's had any guidance on. He would probably throw himself into something else whilst processing that on the back burner.

The second one– being even nicer– would be more surprising to him, because he's really just not seen that level of nice before? If Evan got too clingy, Mike wouldn't be able to hide his annoyance, and he might snap from time to time, even though he's had half a wake up call at this point about his own behavior– near death experiences make people reevaluate shit a lot, but he's not like. Magically well-adjusted– and doesn't have the energy to be all that terrible at the moment. That being said– even though Mike is really needing a mentor more for this than his little brother's kindness– this is one of the most vulnerable places he's ever been, and, if anyone were to ever successfully find a shortcut to breaking through Mike's defenses by the sheer force of being nice, this would be one of the easier times to try it.

On the bright side, Mike does not struggle with leaning on one person too much, so Evan wouldn't get stuck in a therapist role or anything. Probably the worst case scenario for his response to the second one would be having Mike start to answer any questions candidly, and receiving a bleaker view of the world in response.

[schrijverr]

For the asks game, F and M! Ty!! -xo, @steddierthings

Thank you so muc for the ask! <3

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

I'm pretty proud of the convo between Eddie and Steve in chapter 3 of I Found Myself a Cheerleader:

“Unless-” Eddie starts, eyes wide as if he can’t believe it. “Unless they are true.”

“Don’t tell anyone,” Steve whispers, preparing to run should Eddie make a move in his direction that he doesn’t like.

He can’t believe this is where his day has gone.

“Shit, man,” Eddie whistles. “Course not. I didn’t know you were family.”

It takes a moment, before the euphemism lands. Steve knows that Eddie has similar rumors following him, but the guy never confirmed them. A smart move. Yet here he is admitting it Steve, extending a hand of solidarity.

Steve allows a small smile to grace his face and he does some jazz hands. “Surprise.”

Eddie laughs at the action and agrees: “It’s certainly is. I never would have guessed. You’re good, man.”

I loved getting to use that euphemism and the little realization moment for Eddie as well as that bit of fear followed by acceptance for Steve. I like writing about queer shit, so getting to add all of that while it still felt like a realiatic conversation felt really good :D

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

God, I have like way too many, it's embarrassing lmao, I have this note on my phone filled with ideas that I'll probably never write and are just collecting dust (if anyone is interested in me sharing them, send an ask or something).

But currently I'm playing with two stobin fics that I might write. One is a post-canon lavender marriage verse where they escape to the big city together, leaving everyone behind as they try to heal and cope with everything that has happened as they build a life together. And two is an archaeology AU from Robin's POV where she has an enemies-to-friends arc while Steve just wants to be buddies that is truly an excuse for me to talk about archaeology, because archaeology is fun xp

[ice-and-starlight]

It's been a few days, but if you were still interested in that ask meme....

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

=D Yeay! An ask!

Hooooo, okay, so, I have a LOT of fanfic that I'm theoretically working on/daydreaming about that doesn't get shared, but, uh, lets see what's not too horrifying to share...

I spent a couple of weeks a few months ago binge-watching Criminal Minds, and got infected by a plotbunny of Dean Winchester/Aaron Hotchner(/Haley Brooks) as a sort of... fix it crossover where, because they're both protagonists from rather different genres, their different approach manages to fix things in the other 'verse.

As in, Dean kills Foyet in proper I'm-fresh-out-of-hell-and-you-did-WHAT-to-my-boyfriend?! style. With added bonus 'you think you're good with a knife? Boy, have I got some things to show you. Say hello to Alastair for me when you get down there'.

And Hotch (and the team) profile the fucking devil so well they manage to talk him down from trying to wipe out humanity. (He goes off to fuck up heaven instead.)

I've gotten bits and pieces of, well, backstory written up, plus some 'Dean meets the BAU' and 'Hotch meets hunters' scenes that I love, but I've gotten stuck on something really stupid and just haven't managed to get my brain to move past it, so I haven't actually written the parts I started writing the story for yet ^^" (this happens to me a lot).

What else?

I have been working, on and off, on a Critical Role Time Travel AU that's actually kind of a spin-off of my very first Critical Role fic which is 'Molly lives rent-free in Caleb's head for the entire rest of the campaign' because as I was watching it I was constantly thinking 'but how would Molly react to this?!' so I wrote it (some of it).

And then I thought 'okay, but what if, okay, I know time-travel is supposed to be semi-impossible, but what if it is technically POSSIBLE, it's just that going backwards through time essentially destroys the soul/spirit/whatever, EXCEPT, of course, that when Caleb does it, he has a BONUS SOUL coming along for the ride, and it's basically enough for Molly to get through more or less intact?'

And then the Moonweaver is like 'fuck, you are my Most Troublesome Worshipper, what am I going to do with you?' and Molly is, you know, themself, so the Moonweaver, also being a goddess of lovers trysts, nudges things until Lucien ends up with twin baby brothers (Molly and Kingsley are both Aspects of the same being, and thus inextricably linked, so bits and pieces of Kingsley got dragged along for the ride, only not enough for him to have more than Weird Instincts) and a bonus Moonweaver Cleric mum.

Was this an excuse to write canon!verse Tealeaf triplets? Yes. Yes it was.

Did it turn into a Ridiculous Epic Saga of the Tea Leaves (Molly, Kingsley, Caduceus, Keg, and Ophelia Mardun) treking across all of Wildmount trying to save people from the future and stumbling into messes along the way? Yes. Yes it did.

Did I actually manage to write any of the actual story? No. I wrote backstory instead, and ended up mostly writing about the adventures of two separate Parent Squads that are probably... 40-60% OCs? doing a tiny little Molly's bidding. It very much became a And You Get A Parent And You Get A Parent And You Get Three Parents story.

I have Such Plans for this AU (including, importantly, a Shadowidomauk endgame), but, alas, actually writing it is proving... difficult.

One more for luck?

Hmm... I have Ideas for a Peaky Blinders AU based on my Little Sallyanne fic? It's not very well fleshed out yet, but it definitely results in Sally murdering the shit out of her brother's terrible wife, adopting her nibling, and going on to severely fuck up nazis when WWII rolls around.

This one is Percolating, and I'm really not sure what I want to do with it, exactly. Just general Vibes of Tommy being the feral gremlin mentor to my beloved feral gremlin child. (Also, Sally getting semi-adopted by Alfie Solomons, maybe, because here's this child going around claiming to be Jewish when she's not, and Alfie's like 'no, either you fucking Stop That, or you commit to the fucking bit' and Sally's like '-starry eyes- Okay Dad'. I would have to do a lot of research to do this justice because I'm aware that I don't know enough to know how to write this properly ^^" Basically, I just want everyone adopting her like a starving feral cat who will absolutely bite the hand that feeds her)

Technically, I think you can say that things like Never Simple, Not All Who Wander, and the various other unfinished things on my writing blog are all on a backburner right now? As well as the next instalments in my Somewhere Just Beyond My Reach and Gramarye and Trapped In The Amber series also count. I am Thinking About Them a lot, but there's either not enough for me to get my teeth stuck into, or my teeth are stuck and I can't chew on them properly =P

[ooihcnoiwlerh]

Okay, so I wait tables and bartend for a living, and worked New Year’s Eve dinner for the second year at my first real non-corporate, independent neighborhood restaurant and bar.  The holiday season both last year and this year had shitshow experiences with things that we couldn’t control.  Last year, in mid-December, our coffee machine/hot water dispenser broke, meaning we couldn’t make our own coffee or iced tea and whenever people ordered hot tea, which was often, especially for hot toddies, whoever was bartending would have to heat up the water on a Bunsen burner.

This year, I come in at three.  It’s not too bad, except I don’t really know what the game plan is, when we switch to dinner.  We have a lot of covers considering that we’re, again, a pretty small restaurant and can only accommodate so many people at once.  We also have at most four servers on at a time and only one bartender to both take care of the bar guests and do service bartending, and at most one host.  So we have some disgruntled guests angry that we can’t accommodate them as much, especially given that for dinner we have a prix-fixe menu and can make exceptions only for a couple of dishes and for kid’s menu items.  The amount of covers increase to sixty-five as more people start panicking and making last-minute plans, and we start chanting “Four more!  Four more!  Four more!” and then a party of seven makes a reservation over the phone and we have to start playing Tetris with the three restaurant sections.  We correctly assume that the patio won’t be as popular.  I take the front section of the front room, fully prepared to be the closing server.  I will be.

The energy feels almost uncomfortable.  People are seething that we have too many reservations to have walk-ins, bar gets crowded, but it feels more uncomfortable than hectic.  But then it happens.  The shitshow.

Our water line breaks, which completely floods the bar with three inches of water, and floods the front room.  Our host has to abandon post to help clean it up, and the water keeps coming so I take over hosting duties in addition to looking after my section.  Our bar manager is MOD tonight, and he has a high threshold for bullshit but is the most stressed I’ve ever seen him.  He bought a nice new pair of shoes that are now ruined.  Our bartender nearly gets hurt a couple of times.  We have an on-call repairman named Bruce who comes in and stops the water, but clearly something’s wrong with how much water is on the floor.  I’m still waiting on and seating people, who are noticing the issue.  Our bar manager’s girlfriend and her family are one of my tables, and they’re thankfully pretty unfazed/sympathetic.  

My neighbors across the street come in and they probably notice how tense I am and that something’s wrong, and I admit that “there has been a minor technical issue” and I end up waiting on them.  By this point, no more water is seeping in and our host and repair guy, not to mention our bar manager, have helped soak up a fair amount of the flooding.  Our bartender, of course, has been a bit busy making a shit ton of drinks both for the bar and a fully packed restaurant.

It’s a nightmare but we get through it, because in the service industry the only way out of it is through it.  I can kind of see the humor in how we ended the year doing our best managing a crisis.  It’s a little cathartic, honestly.  We’re closed tomorrow and Monday, and on Monday I’m turning thirty, so this is not only our last shift of the year but my last shift there in my twenties.  My co-workers who are in their thirties assure me that things get better in your thirties, and I hope so.  Twenty-nine sucked.  I got a few creative things done but I also know eight people who died this year.  Our kitchen make us a nice family meal out of the extra items on our prix-fixe menu that included prime rib, porchetta, mashed potatoes, stewed cannellini beans, rapini, brussels sprouts, mushrooms, and au jus and we all, back and front of house, toast to a difficult shift we managed to get through and to a new year.  I’ve never had porchetta or prime rib before this, and both are great--I’ve worked at a lot of restaurants where the food is either overrated or just kind of mediocre, but where I work takes pride in their food and as shitty as the evening has been, it’s been a good bonding experience.  As we clean up and close down we all have prosecco and/or tequila and/or Jameson and talk for a bit before we lock up and head home, feeling palpable relief that we were able to get through the night and feeling tougher for it.

[eremji]

Fic Questions Meme

How do you come up with the titles for your fics?

Is there anything worse than writing a title? Can I interest you in an action scene instead?

2. Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

cw: abuse (and the fic itself addresses pretty dark shit)

each lovely phrase (E) - Outlast - Eddie Gluskin/Waylon Park.

This is a weird vehicle for it, but this was written in part after my experience losing my abusive father to terminal illnesses without receiving any kind of resolution to my grief and anger. My situation was nowhere near as severe as the POV character's – my experience was entirely verbal/psychological mistreatment – and the fic wasn't intended to be a mirror of reality, but the rage and grief I felt definitely informed the POV character's pretty heavily.

3. What character do you identify with most?

I didn't have an answer to questions like this for a long time, but Kim Wexler from Better Call Saul is probably the closest I've ever come to wholly seeing myself in a character. She's a small town escapee with big ambitions, where her choices early in her life led her to some toxic and morally grey situations. There are innate tensions between competing goals – her desire to do something genuinely good, her desire to make all her work worthwhile by being intensely career oriented, and her desire to get one over on the people who have made her life harder – that really resonate with my early adult experience.

4. If you wrote a sequel to any of your published fics, what would it be about?

I'm satisfied with all of the currently published fics as they stand, actually; if I felt like something warranted a sequel or epilogue I generally wrote it directly after the first thing and posted it.

5. How would you describe your style?

I don't actually know how to answer this; I lack the technical vocabulary to define it. I'm sure someone has an answer, looking at my fic externally, but all I try to do is climb as far into a character's head as possible. Sometimes canon makes this easier; sometimes a film, a tv show, or a piece of written fiction has a very distinct voice to it, either in diction or visually, so its easy to match. Otherwise, I tend to do some exploratory writing from a character's POV to see if I can hit on something that makes me feel good.

6. Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

I don't actually believe in guilty pleasures when reading/writing, because its fiction! It isn't real! I'm unabashedly a monsterlover, robot fucker, dubious consent supporter, villain/hero shipper, and a whole mess of other things.

7. What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

I have a half-written fic rotting in my drafts folder where one of the main characters is dead from the start (they eventually get better, see my addendum to MCD fics in question 16 later on) and the whole thing is just a wild ride through grief and love, and not in any fandom or for any pairing you'd probably expect looking at either my reading or writing history.

8. What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?

I desperately wanted to write the Dinotopia!AU for SteveBucky where Bucky was a Skybax rider and Steve was a scholar but I couldn't figure out a good plot for the premise.

9. Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

I have an Inception fic due for a rewrite that was started based off a bunch of dreams I'd actually had, but the plot has changed (it actually has one instead of being a series of set pieces) so I need to restructure it.

10. Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

I have a few pages of a ST (AOS) WIP that's dom!Spock/mouthy sub!Kirk that explores D/s dynamics in the vein of Spock's enjoyment of having control (after feeling out of control compared to other Vulcans) and Kirk's unresolved issues with authority. Oh – and the entirety of the AOS plot after Kirk's disciplinary hearing doesn't happen, they're still at the Academy, and instead of punting Kirk they assign him to Spock under probation and Spock is actively one of Kirk's professors.

11. How do you begin a story--with the plot, or the characters?

Characters, by asking if there's any story there I'd want to tell for them in the first place. Sometimes that doesn't come along right away, but usually I can cook up a premise. Then it's seeing if I like it enough that I can get a plot up and running.

12. Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Bigtime gardener. Sometimes I plant things that don't ever grow or need to be heavily pruned, but largely I don't write in order OR plot in order. Sometimes I write two scenes on opposite sides of the fic one right after another and use the results of the later scene to fill in the middle.

13. Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Robert E. Howard is unquestionably at the top, outstripping any competition by miles.

14. Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

I will make at least a cursory attempt to read any fuck or die fic no matter how much I dislike the writing style. That link will never be unclicked.

15. Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

SO many. I'm one of the pickier readers and both my kudos and bookmarks reflect it. Most in the form of AUs (coffee shop, college, domestic, etc.) are a hard pass for me, but it genuinely varies from fandom to fandom and even ship to ship within the same fandom. If I don't like something generally (i.e. omegaverse) there's almost always at least one very well-written exception to that somewhere.

16. Major character death--do you ever write/read it?

I've only read a handful of 'real' MCD fics. If the canon conceit is that death is actually temporary, I'll go in as long as the condition is guaranteed to be reversed in some way (rebirth, resurrection, reincarnation) for a happy ending. I have a couple sitting in the background that I hope I could turn into something really wrenching (with revival and happy endings!).

[nadinehunt]

the bear au for nadine. basically, nadine's backstory is exactly the same, but when they drop out of college, they just end up living at home and working a dead end job and basically hating their life. at some point, around age 25ish, they finally just up and leave one day. no plan, just their shitty car and no place to go. after a while spent doing odd jobs, finding places to stay, etc, they eventually met richie. for whatever reason, the two really clicked, and when nadine (somewhat jokingly) asked for a job, he said yes.

nadine's official job title is... messy, to say the least. when they started working at the beef, they did just about everything. i think they joined as things with michael were really starting to go downhill in a more obvious fashion (probably a couple years after the christmas episode? something like that) and nadine was mostly richie's right hand dude. so their job became everything that needed doing. a jack of all trades, so to speak?

i think when carmy came back, nadine kind of ended up on the back burner, a little bit forgotten. they were terrified of being left behind, because richie was so focused on doing everything so he could prove something to carmy, and carmy really had no clue who nadine was or what the fuck their job was. with all the chaos, they kind of just... got a bit left behind.

i haven't decided what happens to them in s2 yet, but i think they get some more formal training of some kind. maybe they finally get the chance to go to culinary school or something, even though nadine can't cook for shit. or maybe it's more on the business side of things, and they get some help learning how to run things more professionally, since they helped do so in the past.

either way, i think the employees of the bear are like a family to them. nadine is one of the first ones there in the morning, and always has been since they started working there. they've never formed connections like these before, and they want to actually keep them. the only fear they have when carmy shows up is that they won't be needed anymore. or worse, won't be wanted.

(yes they still read minds. and yes, they r besties with fak.)

[yerbamansa]

for the first time, i genuinely have So Many WIPs happening that i feel the need to track them.

Revenge Ranch series: Slowvember is actually happening daily and I have given it a plot, even. someday i might even plan more proper installments, because this is my little weird comfort food AU. Also working on a Jim/Oluwande M or E fic that might be AU-canon-divergent ever so slightly for Personal Reasons. Trying to do something that's hard for me (ha ha).

Ask Me Anything Jim/Oluwande smau (@askmeanythingofmd) is well underway, though I feel like I'm not presently pulling my weight in the co-author department. We have such excitement planned/written, though!! Hope you will consider joining us on the journey sooner or later so that we might experience the highs and lows with you etc.

Outlining/starting to draft a probably long-ish multi-chapter modern AU set at a fictional food media outlet, Stede and Ed enemies to lovers scenario, slutty food/cooking jokes, a workers' rights/unionization plotline, all kinds of shit.

I've wanted to write something stupid personal for A League of Their Own since the first time I watched it but that is very back burner.

also life is fucking weird and scary right now and i might need to do, like, an actual job in the near future? at which point all bets are off re: writing for funsies. the brain can only handle so much.

[yoongis-property]

YOONGI FICS JULY 2022

└➤ sorted by  。 。 。 AU

MASTERLIST

(last update: 10.08.2022)

m- mature , f- fluff , a- angst , c- crack/humor, ☆- personal favorite

e2l- enemies to lovers, s2l- strangers to lovers, f2l- friends to lovers, bf2l- best friends to lovers, cf2l- childhood friends to lovers, fwb2l- friends with benefits to lovers, ex2l- exes to lovers, i2l- idiots to lovers

↑- already mentioned in this post 

FINISHED

CAMPING TRIP!AU

⇢ S`more than friends by @borathae (f, m, slight a, f2l)

❝ Never Have I Ever had a crush on one of my best friends… ❞

CASHIER!YOONGI

⇢ keep the change by @httpjeon​ (m, f)

❝ typically an old man works the night shift at Greg’s Place. however, it seems there’s a new cute guy working the register at night now. and it just so happens it’s finals week... ❞

COLLEGE!AU

⇢ lipstick on my satin sheets by @minyfic​ (m, f, s2l)

❝ you don’t know his name, you don’t have an image of him in your mind, all you can recall is the deep, inviting drawl that seems to hypnotize you whenever you’re speaking under the cover of darkness; the frenzy is what drives you to seek out the man behind the enticing voice, even if it goes against the rules. ❞

⇢ Hug-o-gram by @cinnaminsvga​ (f, hugging booth!au, ☆)

❝“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font.

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.} ❞

ENEMIES TO LOVERS

⇢ THINKING OF YOU by @smaubts​ (f, c, slight a, sm!au)

❝ yoongi and y/n hate each other, at least that's what they tell everyone. when unexpected events occur they begin to realise that maybe the real cause for all the hate is because it's a way to hide the feelings they won't admit. ❞

ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP!AU

⇢ spit by @rmverse​ (m)

⇢ eat, sleep, work, fuck by @jeonloops​ (m)

⇢ at the nightclub by @7deadlysinsfics​ (m, read warnings!)

⇢ i've been missing you by @jjksblackgf​ (f, m)

❝ Yoongi gets so pleasantly surprised that you surprised him that he decides to fuck the shit out of you. ❞

⇢ i love you. by @theluckyyyoneee​ (f)

❝ you ask yourself what your husband's reaction would be if you didn't tell him you loved him back ❞

(I`m not sure if there`s just fluff in this, bc i read this almost a year ago)

FRIENDS TO LOVERS

⇢ S`more than friends by @borathae (f, m, slight a, camping trip!au) ↑

❝ Never Have I Ever had a crush on one of my best friends… ❞

⇢ Mine by @kookiecrumb​ (bf2l)

⇢ back-burner by @yoonpobs​ (a, m, f, read warnings!, ☆)

❝ sometimes you felt like you were the back-burner of a two-decade-long friendship. how could you ever compete? ❞

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS!AU

⇢ Freak by @chemicalpink​ (m)

❝ Min Yoongi has a thing for bending you over in front of a mirror. ❞

HIGH SCHOOL!AU

⇢ Lab Partners by @jungblue​ (m)

❝ What happens when your dreams get taken over by your newly assigned lab partner Min Yoongi? ❞

NEIGHBOUR!AU

⇢ Neighborly Etiquette by @cinnaminsvga​ (f, slight a)

❝ You and your boyfriend live across from Yoongi’s apartment, much to his chagrin. Your laughter and dancing and bed creaking were seriously annoying him, until it stops. Then, Yoongi finds himself knocking on your door. And no, he’s definitely not there to comfort you. No way. ❞

STRANGERS TO LOVERS

⇢ Wildest Moments by @joonbird​ (m, f, a, cheating!)

❝ Min Yoongi is forbidden territory. And although you both know better, the two of you just can’t seem to stay apart. ❞

⇢ lipstick on my satin sheets by @minyfic​ (m, f, college!au) ↑

❝ you don’t know his name, you don’t have an image of him in your mind, all you can recall is the deep, inviting drawl that seems to hypnotize you whenever you’re speaking under the cover of darkness; the frenzy is what drives you to seek out the man behind the enticing voice, even if it goes against the rules. ❞

OTHER

⇢ Breakfast in Bed by @joonbird​ (f, m, ikea employee!au)

❝ Min Yoongi, a grumpy Ikea employee, is wondering who you are and why exactly you’re sleeping in the display bed at his Ikea. ❞

⇢ Cooking Class by @btsrunmylife​ (f, cooking!au)

❝ Realizing how little you actually know about the one thing needed for survival, you decide to take a cooking class. One of the other students catches your eye, not necessarily because he’s attractive (although, he is), but because he clearly already knows what he’s doing. And that…really isn’t fair. ❞

⇢ Trick or Treat. by @satnin-darling​ (m, halloween!au, feat. jk)

❝ The Joker, a Gray Pianist, and an Action-taker were supposed to walk into a bar on Halloween. Turns out they don't even make it past the front door because they were too busy fucking each other to partake in this year’s spooky season ❞

⇢ ddaeng bang by @kookskingdom​ (m, boxer!yoongi, read warnings!)

UNFINISHED

ARRANGED MARRIAGE!AU

⇢ Set Me Free by @myooniverse​ (f, m, a)

❝ Growing up as the sole heiress to your father’s fortune wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. In desperate need to escape your home life, you enter into an unexpected arrangement with the infamous Min Yoongi. Will the both of you be able to find freedom, happiness and possibly love? ❞