#this shit gives me anxiety that I do not need in my current oven of an apartment
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rubenesque-as-fuck · 5 months ago
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Reiterating because apparently it needs to be said once again: just because you've seen my nudes on the internet doesn't mean I want to fuck you.
(No, not even you. You aren't special.)
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adayinalifeofjosie · 11 months ago
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First blog?
Hello everyone. :)
This will be my first ever blog entry. So please forgive me if the structure isn’t as good at the moment.
Also, English isn’t my native language but feel free to give me Feedback on how I can approve with sentence building and grammar.  
To test out the waters, I’ll start with a Christmas summary of some sort.
I do have to give a trigger warning, I’ll list the triggers for this post now. 
Triggers:
thoughts of self harm
flashbacks
Let’s start with the week before Christmas. It was stressful. 
Since I’m currently in a Psych Ward, I couldn’t really do much besides panicking about the following days. Therapy has been really tough lately, but I found more skills to help me reduce stress levels. 
Also I, for some reason, started having flashbacks about things that my mind completely suppressed. It was freaking me out because I don’t remember much about my childhood until let’s say, eleven? So suddenly remembering it was…. quite eventful. 
It didn’t help that I started to miss using self-harm to release some of the pressure I felt in my chest. Somehow, I managed not to fall back into old habits, A win is a win, right?
My doctor gave me creative “homework” to reflect myself and also get back into being creative. 
On the twenty-third of december I went to the christmas market with my boyfriend, his mother, step-father and brother. Which is always a fun thing to do when you have social anxiety. I bought more painting supplies, becáuse I realized that I enjoy painting. 
Overall, I enjoyed the evening despite being stressed as fuck. I ate some good ol’ currywurst, a crepe and his mother bought a “Lachsbrötchen” for me. 
As soon as I got back to the clinic, I dropped dead in my bed, because I knew the nexr day would be a challange on its own. For the first time in 25 years, I spent christmas away from home.
 On christmas day, which is the twenty-fourth here in Germany, I joined my Boyfriend
and his father, step-mother and brother for dinner and the “Bescherung”, which basically is the time where we give eachother what we got for them. 
They invited me in with open arms and here I am, two days later, still dreaming about the amazing food they cooked. My boyfriend informed them on my behalf that I currently am back in the Psych ward. 
I went to my boyfriends place around 10:30 pm because I was exhausted but in the end, I felt super comfortable the entire evening and had a lot of fun!
Around one pm the next day, my boyfriend and I drove to my mother, to visit her and her boyfriend. We exchanged presents as well, ate some good cake, for which I still need the recepy for. It was a nut and apple cake. Usually, I am not a big fan of nuts, but that was surprisingly well-balanced. 
My mother hugged me for a while after arriving. She usually is a very emotional unavailable person. I think me being back in the clinic is harder for her than she lets me see. I appreciate it though. I love hugs. And knowing that my mother truly cares about me, made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. 
So. Today is the 26.12. The last day of christmas. I once again was invited to my boyfriends brothers place. However this time, we had breakfast together with his mom, step-father, brother and grandma. 
And let me tell you. German breakfast is the shit. Crossaints and Brötchen fresh out of the oven, a variety on cheese, meats and jam. We shared laughter, had interesting conversations and jazzy christmas music was playing softly in the background. 
I even had a “deeptalk” with his mother. It helped me a lot. 
This year I experienced a chill christmas for the first time. And I am so so so thankful to my boyfriends family. Especially for my boyfriend this year. Listen, I don’t believe in a god or anything like that. But it seemed like the universe took a liking in me and gifted me with this amazing soul. 
He is truly one of a kind and I’ve never felt so safe with a person before. I am so thankful for that. For him. 
So I don’t know if you’ll ever get to read this, but I truly love you. <3
Now I am back at the clinic, done writing this entry. 
I hope that every single one of you had nice christmas days,
lots of love, 
Josie
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jungshookz · 4 years ago
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cream a little dream of me; knj
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➺ pairing; kim namjoon x reader
➺ genre; lveb!universe, you’ve been asking for this and i’m finally here to tell you that this is smut! nsfw! 18+! oral sex (receiving)! dirty talk! namjoon has a dirty mouth and y/n is into that!! y/n’s a great listener and namjoon is very into that!! also frosting is involved somewhere 
➺ wordcount: 8.9k
➺ summary; y/n has a wet dream about namjoon and yoongi just wants to help his best friend get laid. 
➺ what to expect; “it’s not a big deal or anything, but, uh... when were you planning on telling me about that nice little dream you had two weeks ago?”
➺ optional reading: here’s the link to la vie en bonsai if you haven’t read it yet or if you just want to experience the story all over again! 
                                      »»————- ☁️ ————-««
to say the least, yoongi is… confused.
in the three years that he’s been friends with you, he likes to think that he’s seen every single one of your emotions
but this?
this is different somehow… yet he can’t quite put his finger on what’s so different about it... 
he’s seen elated y/n
he’s seen devastated y/n
he’s seen infuriated y/n
he’s seen stressed out y/n
but this y/n?
the starry-eyed and constantly looking like you’re day dreaming y/n?
he can safely say he’s never seen this version of you before and it’s a little concerning because now he has no idea what the protocol is 
even back when you guys were in university you practically never daydreamed during lectures
you were always focused on the professor and whatever powerpoint was playing on the screen with a concerning amount of intensity 
one time, yoongi put his hand over your eyes just to be funny and you nearly snapped his wrist off
“okay, seriously?” yoongi waves his hand in front of your face for the fifth time in half an hour before shaking his head gently, “what’s gotten into you?”
you blink quickly when you snap out of your little daze, looking at him and setting the bowl of batter down on the counter before checking out the damage you’ve done
you’re supposed to fold this batter
not whIP it
now it’s ruined and you’re going to have to start all over!
“i don’t know what that batter ever did to you, but you might need to take it down a notch before you sprain your wrist…” yoongi trails off, leaning over a little and wondering if he can get away with dipping his finger in for a teeny tiny taste
sure, he might get salmonella or whatever from ingesting raw eggs, but it’ll be worth it 
“also, what are you even making?” he frowns, gesturing to all the items splayed on the counter, “because there are like ten different things going on here-”
you look around the kitchen before reaching up to scratch the back of your neck
you... don’t really have an answer for him 
there’s bread dough over here 
three bowls of frosting (chocolate, cream cheese, buttercream) over there
some chopped up peaches on the cutting board
the puff pastry is de-frosting in the fridge
there’s a pie baking in the oven at the moment
you just finished greasing up a mini cupcake tin
and don’t forget about the bowl of batter you’re currently whipping the life out of
(let the record show that you have no idea what you’re making. you have no clue what this batter is for. and why’d you take out your set of food-colouring dye??) 
you just needed to let off some steam and this is the only way you know hoW
“isn’t this great? working out in the comfort of my own personal gym…”
both you and yoongi look over towards the kitchen door when you hear jin’s voice ring through namjoon’s laptop from the living room
yoongi perks up in interest when you suddenly scurry over to spy at namjoon through the crack of the door before he gets up to follow you 
“yeah, easy for you to say-” namjoon grunts as he pushes himself up off the ground so he can clap his hands together quickly before his palms land back on the ground in a solid thump
he thought push-ups were already awful as is so he wasn’t very pleased when jin told him to start doing them with claps in between each set
also, jin has access to a full-blown gym in his house, but namjoon doesn’t have any access to actual weights so he’s had to resort to using jugs of water instead
it’s actually working out pretty well!
he took the sweeper part of the broom off and then used a lot of duct tape (and patience) to tape the jugs to both sides of the pole
he felt like he was mulan from that one part of the movie except mulan is probably physically stronger than him 
“you know, i’m surprised he hasn’t smashed his face against the floor yet...” yoongi snorts as he continues to peer at namjoon over your shoulder
he waits a couple seconds for you to respond but frowns when you let out a short little sigh while keeping your eyes glued on your sweaty boyfriend
...
see?!
you’re doing it again!!!!  
you have your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth and your eyes have gone all lidded and hazy
your grip around the edge of the door is really tight and your knuckles are going kind of white 
good god
yoongi narrows his eyes suspiciously before jabbing your shoulder roughly, “hey. what are you thinking about?”
you shake your head a little too quickly for his liking before turning back around and brushing past him to get back to the counter
huh
okay
something’s up for sure
he doesn’t know if it’s good or bad or whatever but he’s going to find out
your cheeks and the tips of your ears are a little flushed now which is even more interesting
what could possibly be going on in that little noggin of yours?
“tell me what you were thinking about.” yoongi sits back down on the stool as he stares you down across the counter, “y/n- look at me.”
“i’m not-” you glance up at yoongi for a quick second before looking back down, “nothing!” you mutter, your arm starting to move faster as you continue whipping the mystery batter 
yoongi immediately points to the ball of dough sitting a couple feet away from him, “tell me what you were thinking about or i’ll eat that ball of raw dough right noW-”
“-!” you set the bowl down before scrambling to move the dough out of yoongi’s reach
he’s eaten raw dough before (it was raw cookie dough and he took bites of it every time you turned to face away from him) which resulted in him suffering for like 48 hours and you’re not taking any chances
“you can’t keep secrets from me.” yoongi deadpans, “aren’t we best friends? don’t you trust me?” he bats his lashes at you before pushing his bottom lip out in a pout, “because i certainly trust you… and you, out of all people, should know how hard it is for me to trust someone…”
your eye twitches 
you know he’s only saying all of this to butter you up so that you’ll inevitably give in and tell him what’s going on... and you hate that it’s actually working... 
look at that face!
those cheeks!!!
those eyes!!!!
“i…” you trail off, biting the inside of your cheek as you contemplate whether it’s a good idea or not to tell yoongi what exactly’s been going on with you lately 
if you tell him, he’ll stop bugging you about it
then again, if you tell him, he might keep bugging you about it 
but he’s already suspicious of you so it seems like you don’t really have a choice...
this is really a lose-lose situation, if you think about it 
...damn. 
“hey, do you remember that time you were crying really hard and i made you feel better by telling you that i kind of sort of loved you...?” yoongi mentions casually while inspecting his nail beds, his eyes flickering up towards your face for a quick second to see your reaction 
he bites back a smirk of success when he hears you let out a sigh 
ha HA 
hook, line, and sinker bABY 
“okay, fine, but-” you slam the bowl down on the counter before placing your hands on your hips, ”it’s a secret. between us!” you gesture for him to come over to you
“god, finally-!” yoongi nods enthusiastically and hops off the stool before scurrying over to join you at the other side of the counter
you lift your hand up so the side of your mouth is covered and yoongi reaches up to wrap his fingers around your wrist, grinning excitedly as you whisper something into his ear 
yoongi’s jaw drops
holy shit
no wonder he hasn’t seen you act like this before! 
this isn’t elated y/n or disappointed y/n or excited y/n 
a new player has entered the ring
this is HORNY Y/N
“you… little… horndog!” yoongi cackles with glee as he claps his hands together wildly, “you, y/n y/l/n- you had a wet dream?!” 
you feel your anxiety spike at how loud yoongi’s being and you make a gesture to try to get him to use his inside voice but he doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to you at all right now 
“wow...” yoongi laughs lightly, crossing his arms as he looks up towards the ceiling, “i mean, welcome to puberty, i guess. a bit of a late start if you ask me, but either way i’m actually pretty proud of you for basically creaming your-”
“shh!” you quickly shove a spoon into yoongi’s mouth and he spits it out immediately
it falls onto the counter with a clang
to be honest, you actually don’t remember too much of the dream
flashes of namjoon’s head in between your legs and his strong arms wrapped around your thighs pinning you down pop into your mind every now and again to taunt you
but other than that
nothing!
it’s just that joon’s been working out a lot lately (jin’s trying to get in better shape because of one photo where the shadow made it look like he had a double chin and it traumatised him) so it makes sense that he’s turning into an actual beefcake now 
the other day you accidentally busted a bag of icing in your hands after squeezing it too hard because you were watching namjoon doing bicep curls with the milk jugs 
his arms just….,,. 
you want to bite into them
or dig your nails into them
or just look at them!
you would be perfectly content with just staring at them 24/7!
now, the issue here is that you...
you don’t really know…
you don’t know how to initiate things with namjoon
it’s awkward!
…on your end, that is
since getting together, you and namjoon have had plenty of heated make-out (and slight groping) sessions but you always end up chickening out as soon as you feel things starting to escalate 
you just get nervous that you’re going to do something wrong and it’ll pop the love-bubble you guys are in right now!! 
and you really don’t want to pop anything!! 
and namjoon, being the sweet, kind, caring, considerate, wonderful, absolutely flawless boy he is, never has an issue with it because his number one priority is making sure that you’re comfortable
he’s totally okay with moving at your pace! 
but after the last couple of times where you’ve left him high and dry, you notice that he either a) puts a pillow over his lap almost immediately and tries to change the subject or b) waddles off to the bathroom for a ‘pee break’
you feel awful knowing that you’re blue-balling him but you don’t want to take things further if there’s even a slight possibility of you ruining things 
so... yeah! 
your only stress reliever has been baking which isn’t new
you’ve stress baked before but this is a nEW type of stress baking
this is the most chaotic level of stress baking there is because everything’s just a disorganised MESS  
“you know what, it actually makes sense now,” yoongi reaches up to stroke his chin in thought before nodding to himself, “you’ve been acting so weird lately that i thought i did something wrong- and it turns out you’ve just been excruciatingly horny this entire time-”
“lower your voice!” you hiss, hurrying over to the door to make sure namjoon’s not listening in to what should be a private conversation if yoongi wasn’t so damn loud 
he may be in the living room but who knows how far your voices can travel??
you peek out to look at poor namjoon who looks like he’s just about ready to pass ouT from exhaustion
he lets out an almost animalistic growl as he pushes himself up off the ground one last time and you feel a tingle in your southern region
if you were a cartoon character there would be gigantic hearts pumping out of your eyes, your tongue would roll out of your mouth like a red carpet, and a horn would be blasting aooga in the background 
“okay, well - you can’t not tell me about what happened in it.” you turn back around to face yoongi, “give me all the details!!!!” he wiggles his brows as he leans down and folds him arms atop the counter, “and get real nasty with it because i haven’t had sex in months-” 
“no way!” you scoff before crossing one arm over the other to make an ‘x’ sign at yoongi, “no! i don’t remember anything.”
“you’re lying to me.” the smile on yoongi’s face drops and he scowls at you, “you totally are!”
“am not! it’s true.” you chirp, nodding satisfactorily when yoongi doesn’t respond
good 
the topic has been dropped and now you can focus your attention back on this weird, runny batter you’re still beating the life out of 
“...what about if i guess?”
you pause
oh
oh no
you don’t like that idea at all
you don’t get a chance to shake your head nO before yoongi starts listing out all your possible wet-dream scenarios
“he was finger-fucking you.”
“you were sucking him off?”
“he was eating you out!”
“69? you on top? or was it him on top? …no, it was probably you on to-”
“a classy combination of tongue and fingers? ooh, quick question- how quickly did dreamjoon find your g-spo-”
“missionary! can’t go wrong with good ol’ fashioned missio-”
“doggystyle? cowgirl! reverse cowgirl? or was he kind of, like, spooning you from behi-”
“ooh! plot twist! you gave him the strap-”
“butt-stuff! butt-stuff?? butt-stuff but the plug had a tail on- oh-ho, it was butt-stuff, wasn’t it-”
“something with a belt? something with cuffs? something with leather?”
“roleplaying! he was a sexy gardener with a big ol’ hose and you were just an innocent wittle twree-”
“was he rawdogging you?”
your eyes immediately widen and you look up at yoongi for the first time since he started rambling, “wha- WHAT is that?!”
rawdogging??
that sounds like it’d give you carpet burn for some reason 
“sex without a condom.” yoongi states as if it’s the most obvious fact in the entire world, “duh.”
god
boys are so
boyish!!!!
“why not just say that instead??” you ask incredulously, tilting your head
yoongi snorts, “well, because rawdogging sounds way hotter-”
your face screws up immediately, “does it really, though…?”
yoongi pauses before his face lights up, “aha! so dreamjoon WAS rawdogging y-”
“crude!” your entire face is bright red at this point and you hurry over to the fridge to grab a bag of frozen blueberries out of the freezer (for what purposes? you have no idea.)
“you think i’m being crude?” yoongi scoffs, “i think you’re being a prude. okay, lemme see what else i can think of-”
“yoongi, literally no one asked you to list-” 
“were you grinding on his-” yoongi pauses again, “you know, like dry humping?” he hums before pushing himself up off the counter and placing both his palms flat on the surface of it, “i mean, i guess i can see why that’d be hot, you know, with clothes being restrictive and all- oh! were you getting off on his thigh? because a couple of girls have done that to me before and it was actually pretty hot AND since namjoon’s dna consists of 80% plant he basically has tree trunk thighs-”
“okay, i don’t remember too much-” you grab yoongi by the arm to yank him back in so you can whisper in his ear again
yoongi listens attentively 
you clear your throat before shoving yoongi away to make it seem less suspicious if namjoon just so happens to come into the kitchen at this very moment 
“surprisingly simple, but it does the trick, that’s for sure…” yoongi hums as he strokes his chin thoughtfully, “damn. i hyped it up way too much. that’s actually a pretty boring dream compared to what i’ve dreamt about, now that i think about it-”
you can’t help but roll your eyes as you open up the bag of blueberries
…what did you pull these out for again?
“well, what’s the problem?” yoongi frowns, “you guys are already dating. just go up to him and ask him if he wants to do stuff. if a girl told me that she creamed her panties because of me, i’d be ecstatic!”
“stop saying it like that-”
you feel a little weird talking about this with yoongi
he’s always been comfortable telling you about his sex life but you prefer to keep your intimate details private
it’s not that you don’t trust him or anything, because obviously you do, but… you’d feel more comfortable if you talked about this with a girl-friend, you know?
guys just don’t understand! 
“i don’t know how to…” you shift in your spot, “ask.”
yoongi scoffs in response and crosses his arms, “y/n- namjoon is a man. men are simple. do you remember the other week when you invited me over for a breakfast and you dropped the spatula on the floor?”
you nod before tilting your head curiously, “…why?”
yoongi clears his throat
now he’S the one who looks slightly uncomfortable
“well...” he clears his throat, “namjoon was wearing sweats and i swear i wasn’t purposely looking- my eyes just happened to be looking downwards in that general direction naturally-”
“yoongi-”
“the man’s dick twitched in his sweats when you bent over, alright?” yoongi blurts out and your eyes immediately widen, “my point is: men are simple- painfully simple creatures. so... just ask him!”
you frown
just ask him??
was he even listening to you??
you just told yoongi you didn’t know how to ask namjoon and his advice was for you to ask namjoon
that’s like taking someone who doesn’t know how to swim and immediately tossing them into the OCEAN with a punctured life-ring
“god,” you roll your eyes before flicking your wrist at him, “just forget i told you!”
“hey!” yoongi gawks and shakes his head, “i can’t forget! now my only purpose in life is to get you some head-”
“jesus christ-!”
you jump ten feet into the air like a cat that’s just been sprayed by water when the kitchen door suddenly swings open and a sweaty namjoon stumbles in
“i think there’s sweat dripping into my contacts-”
“namjoon!” yoongi spins around in his stool and props his elbows up on the counter, “what a coincidence! we were just talking about you, my man…”
yoongi looks over at you with a cheeky grin and you shake your head stiffly before turning to get the jug of water from the fridge for namjoon 
“oh yeah?” namjoon huffs as he places his hands on your hips from behind, sliding past you to grab a clean glass from the dish rack, “what about?”
“just about how…” yoongi looks back at you quickly and you shoot him a glare
he wouldn’t… 
would he??
(he absolutely would.)
any word of your conversation and you’ll skin him alive
“-hard you’ve been working out lately!” yoongi chirps, “i mean, it looks like you were trapped in a washing machine-”
“oh, god. trust me, it’s so not worth it, i’m in so much pain-” namjoon winces and shakes his head, “you’re welcome to go and take my place if you want-”
“absolutely not-” yoongi snorts, “first of all, it’s the holidays, and everyone knows you don’t work out during december. also, you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to do a push-up. i’m perfectly happy with my somewhat doughy centre.” he pats his tummy with a happy hum and you can’t help but giggle
silly boy
namjoon laughs lightly before pausing to chug down some water, “i wish i could say the same. unfortunately, jin’s not giving me a choice-”
“sweaty!” you whine when namjoon suddenly wraps an arm around you from behind before kissing your cheek and he frowns playfully when you swat at his forearm, “and sticky…”  
“relax, i’m about to hit the shower-” he nudges his nose against your cheek before pulling away, “and then i won’t be sticky and i’ll smell like peaches-”
“i should probably go, too.” yoongi gets up from his seat, “i just ordered my dinner and it’s going to arrive at my apartment in like half an hour.”
“wait!” you hold a finger out before turning to open up the cupboards for a tupperware box, “take some pie with you…”
                                     »»————- ☁️ ————-««
“still coming friday?” you ask as you watch yoongi put his shoes on
you asked yoongi if he would be interested in helping you decorate the apartment on friday (aka you told him he didn’t have a choice and that he had to come and help you whether he wanted to or not)
“mhm.” he glances up at you, “still ordering pizza?”
“mhm.”
you reach down to pat the top of yoongi’s head gently just because you want to and pauses in the middle of tying his laces to reach over and jab your stomach
“i know the main focus is decorating the place for christmas but i think you guys are going to love the nature documentary i picked for us to watch while-” namjoon chimes in but shuts up quickly when you and yoongi exchange knowing glances, “what?”
yoongi looks back up at you with a raised brow, “…does he really have to join us?”
“no choice.” you shrug casually and namjoon’s jaw drops
wha-
“oh, hold on-” yoongi gets up off the ground before patting his pockets down with a frown, “i think i left my keys in the kitchen… can you go and get them for me?”
you nod before turning to hurry to the kitchen
you don’t want him to get another parking ticket
it’s only after you disappear into the kitchen that yoongi swiftly pulls his keys out of his back pocket with a jingle
namjoon opens his mouth to say something but yoongi quickly holds his hand out to shut him up
“야 남준아- 어제 니 여친이 니 꿈 꿨데~ (y/n had a sex dream about you).” he chirps and gives namjoon two firm pats on his surprisingly firm chest before his eyes widen in surprise, “어우 딴딴해 운동 열심히 했나보네! (woah, you really have been working out! good man.)”
“yeah, i-” namjoon chokes, “wait, wha-”
“y/n, i found my keys! my bad!” yoongi calls out and gives you a thumbs up when you come out of the kitchen, “see you losers on friday!”
he gives namjoon a grin and a light punch to the arm before swiftly turning on his heel
namjoon’s eyes are as wide as saucers as yoongi shuts the front door behind him and he blinks rapidly before turning to look at you
you tilt your head at him curiously and namjoon swallows before offering you a sheepish smile
oh, boy.
                                     »»————- ☁️ ————-««
namjoon hasn’t been able to think straight since it was revealed to him that you had a sex dream about him.
it’s been an entire week that he’s learned this new piece of information and it’s been weighing verY heavily on his mind!!
when he wakes up his first thought is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about
when seokjin’s rambling about god knows what the only thing in his mind is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about
the last thing he thinks about before he goes to bed is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about
and then his imagination conjures up what could’ve happened in your sex dream which is very dangerous because he has an overly-active imagination 
it sucks that he doesn’t even know the details of the dream because stinky yoongi ziPPed off before he got a chance to squeeze the truth out of him!!!
and he hasn’t mustered up the courage to ask you about it because… how is he even supposed to ask you about it in a casual, non-confrontational way?!
he doesn’t want to embarrass you or anything like that!!
the only reason why he’s only slightly nervous about the whole situation because he doesn’t think he… oozes sex appeal?
so it was more than surprising to find out that you had a naughty dream about him
he’s like 90% leg and 10% dimple for crying out loud
and it’s not like he hasn’t done anything before, because he has, but it’s just different because it’s… you.
you’re his girlfriend and if he flubs this up the first time around then it’d be even more embarrassing than if you were just some random girl!
“말해줘여어 (you have to tell me).” namjoon whips around from where he’s standing by the tree, cradling the box of baubles to his chest, “you have to!”
“싫어 (nah).” yoongi shakes his head, tossing a kernel of popcorn into his mouth only for it to bounce off his cheek and onto the couch
he purses his lips before kicking it under the coffee table
it’s fine
the dust bunnies will get rid of it 
“말해줘여어! (you have to tell me!)”
“야 안돼 (no way).”  
namjoon clenches his jaw and sets the box down onto the floor promptly before balling his hands into fists and setting them on his hips, puffing his chest out
...
“아 왜여어어어~ (why not??)” he whines, deflating and resisting the urge to stamp his foot and throw an actual tantrum
“아니 비밀이라고 했으니까 그렇지! (it’s not my thing to tell! and i can’t betray y/n like that-)” yoongi shrugs as he keeps his eyes glued on the screen, “by the way, you didn’t even choose a cool nature documentary. what are we even watching?? the guy’s been talking about seaweed for the past ten minutes-”
“what do you mean it’s not your thing to tell??” namjoon scoffs, not even paying attention to the fact that yoongi just insulted his favourite nature documentary about plants in the ocean, “형이 먼저 말 꺼��잖아! (you were the one who told me that she dreamt about me in the first place-!)” he snaps
“잠깐만 (wait, wait-)” yoongi sits up quickly, a couple kernels of popcorn rolling off his chest and falling onto his lap, “일주일이 지났는데 아무것도 안 했단 말이야?? (are you telling me that you… it’s been a whole week and you haven’t done anything about it??)”
namjoon shrinks down before reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “노 코멘트 (…no comment.)”
“킄 정말로? (really? wow.)” yoongi snorts before shaking his head and leaning back against the couch, “both of you- i mean, both of you deserve each other, seriously-”
namjoon resists the urge to flop down on the couch dramatically, “아니 뭐라고 말하는 거예요 (well, i’m sorry, what am i even supposed to say-)”
“아우 그러지좀마 걍- (you don’t have to say anything, all you have to do is-)”
“yoongi!” namjoon and yoongi look over when you stick your head out around the kitchen door, “cream cheese or vanilla?”
“vanilla, duh.” yoongi raises a brow
you should know by this point that he prefers vanilla frosting over cream cheese!
halfway through the documentary you decided that you were going to make a carrot cake
(and yes, part of the reason why you made that decision was because you were bored of the documentary and wanted to do literally anything else, but you’ll never admit that to namjoon in case it breaks his heart)
namjoon stays quiet until after you disappear into the kitchen again and then he turns to face yoongi with both of his hands clasped together, “말해줘요오! (you have to tell me, c’mon!)”
“말해주면 제발 다른 거 보면 안 될까? (if i tell you, can we watch something else?)”
namjoon scowls
“아 됐어요 도와줄 거라도 있는지 확인 해볼게요- (fine, forget it. i’m gonna go see if y/n needs any help.)” he steps over the boxes of decorations on the ground before turning to look back at yoongi, “부엌에서 필요한 거 있어요? (you need anything?)”
“아니 (nah.)” yoongi responds before shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth, “oh! actually, see if y/n would be willing to make little carrot cupcakes instead of a whole carrot cake. holding a tiny little cupcake in my hand makes me feel like a giant.”
                                     »»————- ☁️ ————-««
“knock, knock…” namjoon knocks on the kitchen door quietly before pushing it open, “everything going okay in here?”  
he smiles when you look up from the bowl and beam at him, “hi!”
“hi-” he comes in and shuts the door behind him, “you need any help?”
“help? from you?” you giggle lightly and shake your head, “i’m good.”
ever since he accidentally poured salt into your batter that one time he hasn’t been allowed to help you
:-//
“yoongi changed his mind, by the way.” namjoon gestures back to the direction of the living room, “king min would like cupcakes now.” 
your shoulders immediately droop and you gesture to the already greased cake-pans sitting on the side
what a waste! 
“hey, don’t shoot the messenger!” namjoon raises both his hands in defence before shrugging, “the man wants what he wants.”
you resist the urge to go out there just to throw the cake pans at yoongi
you’re definitely going to force him to wash everything for you later 
“also... you’re just doing this to get out of watching the nature doc, aren’t you?” namjoon wraps both his arms around you from behind and leans down to prop his chin up on your shoulder
you could’ve helped with the decorating, but somehow everything looks better when namjoon does it 
he hung a big red bow on your front door and it looks great! 
you pause in the middle of shredding carrots before letting out a nervous chuckle, “whaaat? no...”
“it’s about the types of plants in the ocean!” namjoon points out, “is that not cool?? plants are cool.”
you shake your head no almost immediately 
not cool
two and a half hours of someone talking about grass that lives in salty water?
not cool at aLL
“how’s the decorating going?” you ask, giggling lightly when namjoon nudges his nose under your jaw before planting a kiss against your neck
“it’s going fine… yoongi isn’t helping, obviously. i handed him one bauble to hang and he hooked it on the collar of his hoodie and told me he’d do it later.”
“mm.”
a brief moment passes where the only sound that can be heard is the carrot you’re shredding against the grater
namjoon purses his lips as he thinks about what yoongi just said to him 
...
ah
fuck it
“hey, can i ask you something?” namjoon sighs, smiling in delight when you suddenly turn your head to press a sweet little kiss into his cheek
“mhm!” you turn back, continuing to grate away
“it’s not a big deal or anything, but, uh... when were you planning on telling me about that nice little dream you had two weeks ago?” namjoon asks cockily, biting back a grin when he feels you freeze in his arms 
it’s at this moment that the fact that you had a wet dream about him has finally sunk into the depths of his brain and now he’s actually feeling... really good about it 
you had a sex dream about him
what’s not to love?  
he can almost hear the alarms wailing in your head
and now that he’s got the ball rolling- he’s not as nervous as he thought he’d be!
as a matter of fact... this could be fun.
“w-” you clear your throat quietly and the half-shredded carrot drops into the metal bowl with a muted plunk, “i- what dream? i didn’t have a dream about you.”
he knows you’re trying to play it cool but he can see how tightly you’re gripping the grater and he can feel your ears getting hotter against his cheek 
“i never said the dream was about me.”
oh, shit
you messed up
“so...?” namjoon moves your hair to the other side before leaning in to plant a warm kiss under your jaw, “this dream that you had… about me. tell me what happened in it.”
you swallow thickly, the gears working overtime in your brain as you try to come up with some kind of an excuse to get yourself out of this situation
you know that now isn’t the most appropriate moment to be thinking about this but you’re 100% going to slaughter yoongi the moment you get a chance to 
the secret ingredient to make these cupcakes taste good will not be love
it will be BLEACH 
you can’t believe he ratted you out like that!!
how embarrassing!!
“you were-” you cough, “um, you were… you… we…”
oh boy
this is already a train wreck
this is exactly why you didn’t want to tell namjoon about it!
because you know yourself and you knEW you were going to get all flustered and twitchy bringing it up
“well, i was-” you pause, “i was sitting on- sitting on the counter-”
“this one right here?” namjoon’s hand leaves your waist to pat the surface of the counter lightly and you nod gingerly, staring down at his obscenely pretty fingers, “what else?”
“that was it.” you blurt out, “the end!”
namjoon steps back a little and spins you around quickly before pressing you up against the counter, “what else, y/n?”
he traps you in between his arms and you fight the urge to explode into a million bits 
oh god
okay
just tell him!
just SAY it
it’s time to get it over with!!
“you were…” your eyes flicker downwards and your nose scrunches slightly
you really don’t want to say it but you don’t think you can back out at this point because you’ve already said too much 
“…eating me out.” you force out before averting your gaze and looking off to the side  
you really wish there was a better way to say that because the phrase eating me out just sounds so… in your face, you know?
namjoon swallows thickly
so you had a dream about him eating you out?
“y/n, there’s really nothing to be embarrassed about, i promise-” namjoon laughs lightly when he notices your entire face starting to go red
you let out a particularly pathetic whine before leaning your forehead against his chest and gently shoving at his (firm) abdomen
“what’s the problem?” he asks, rubbing comforting circles into your back, “i think about you, you know.”
“you’re just saying that…” you mumble, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “you’re lying...” 
“no, i’m serious!” namjoon pulls away to look at you, “i… i think about you. i think about things.”
you blink twice 
he thinks about you
he thinks about things 
he thinks about you?
he thinks about things?? 
…what kind of things does he think about?
“y-you do?” 
“of course i do.”
“oh.”
a moment of silence ticks by 
“i think about a lot of things, y/n.”
“like what?” you look up at him, the corner of namjoon’s pretty mouth curling upwards
“you really wanna know?”
“yes.” you respond a little too quickly before clearing your throat quietly, “…please.”
“hm.” he smiles, “as polite as always-” 
you gasp in surprise when namjoon suddenly lifts you up and plops you down on the countertop in one swift movement and your stomach flutters at how effortlessly he just did that
wowie
he places both hands flat on the surface on either side of you before looking up at you with his head tilted slightly
you keep your hands folded in your lap, nervously picking at the worn edges of the sweatshirt you’re wearing (it’s namjoon’s coffee-coloured sweatshirt that you ‘borrowed’ from him) 
“mostly about fucking you into the headboard.” namjoon confesses, a smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth when he notices the way your eyes flicker
oh
you definitely seemed to like that idea
“i think about your fingers pulling at my hair when i have my face in between your legs...” he hums, trailing a finger up from your kneecap to your thigh, “i think about how pretty you’d look bent over the counter for me. i think about the sounds you’d make, how soft your moans and gasps would be… i especially like thinking about you moaning my name. i think about you riding me wearing nothing but that cute little apron of yours - you know, the one with the little honeybees on them?”
“apron’s in the.. in the washing machine.” your breathing’s become a bit more shallow and you haven’t blinked in nearly a minute so it’s safe to say that he has your attention
“you know… i think you know what you do to me when you walk around wearing nothing but one of my sweatshirts and a pair of panties, or when you come out of the shower wrapped in a little towel because you ‘forgot’ your clothes in the bedroom…” namjoon murmurs lowly, “and don’t think i don’t notice the way you look at me whenever you suck frosting off your fingers.”
“frosting?” you whisper, namjoon nodding as his eyes flicker down to your lips briefly
your tongue pokes out to swipe over your bottom lip for a split second 
“that’s right.” the metal bowl scrapes against the counter as namjoon drags it over and you jump in surprise at the feeling of the chilled metal bumping up against your bare thigh
“you think you’re so innocent, don’t you?” namjoon chuckles lowly, lifting the spatula up before swiping some frosting off of it with the side of his thumb, “you think i don’t know what you’re up to?”
“i don’t…” you trail off, going cross-eyed when namjoon’s hand comes closer only for his pointer finger to tap at your bottom lip
“you do. open.”
you’re just a little thrown off because namjoon’s never... you’ve never seen him like this before
he’s never spoken to you like this before
he’s never looked at you like this before 
you’re certainly not complaining, of course 
“you taunt me because you like to-” you can’t seem to break away from namjoon’s gaze, the side of his pointer finger hooking underneath your chin as he pushes his thumb into your mouth, “i know you do it on purpose.”
almost immediately, the taste of sweet vanilla frosting washes over your palette
“you want me to think about you, don’t you?” namjoon swallows a groan when you start sucking, your cheeks hollowing slightly as your tongue swirls around his thumb to make sure no frosting gets left behind, “you like the thought of that? like leaving me high and dry because it forces me to use my own imagination?”
(admittedly, yes. a little part of you likes the thought of you completely consuming every corner of namjoon’s mind... just a little part, though.)
you nod slowly in response with glazed over eyes and namjoon clenches his jaw 
fuck
he flattens his thumb down on your tongue to get you to open your mouth a little more for him and hums contently when you do so obediently
a thin line of spit stretches from your tongue to namjoon’s slick thumb as he pulls his hand away and you don’t even get a chance to register whatever that moment was before he’s leaning forward to slant his mouth over yours
namjoon kisses you purposefully, pulling you closer to him as you fist at his shirt tightly 
he savours the faint sweetness of the frosting left behind on your tongue and can’t help but smile when he hears you whimper
“can i tell you something?” namjoon pulls away only to start sponging kisses to your neck and you tilt your head to the side for him
“uh-huh, y-yeah-” you nod quickly, slinging an arm around his neck to keep him close while the other hand grips at his shoulder
your eyes roll to the back of your head for a split second and you can’t help but quietly mouth an ‘oh my god’ to yourself because you never knew it could feel this good to have your neck kissed
“i think it’s hot as fuck that you had a wet dream about me,” namjoon groans lowly and you immediately feel a zing! of electricity travel straight down south from the sound of him speaking to you in such a deep, gravelly voice, “and you definitely don’t have to be shy about asking me to touch you… because i’m very willing to do so.”
“i want you to- w-want you to touch me-” you stutter, feeling your cheeks warm from hearing those words come out of your mouth, “want it so bad-”
your eyes pop open when namjoon suddenly pulls away and you frown, instantly missing the feeling of him being pressed up so tightly against you
“lift your hips-” namjoon pushes the bowl of frosting to the side before tapping two fingers on your upper thigh, “-up off the counter.”
?
your brows knit together in confusion
why would you-
your eyes widen in realisation when it dawns on you what exactly is happening here
“w-what-” you glance at the (for the most part, closed) kitchen door frantically before looking down at joon, “but yoongi’s in the-” you turn back and jump in surprise when you see that namjoon’s face is right in front of yours
you’re practically nose to nose with him
“i know.” namjoon leans in to give you a quick peck before pulling away with a particularly smug grin, “so you’re just going to have to stay quiet for me then, aren’t you?”
you WHAT
“why don’t we get these off, hm?” namjoon hooks a finger into the waistband of your shorts and gives it a gentle tug
you look at the door once again and then back at namjoon, who offers you an innocent little smile as if he didn’t just suggest going down on you on the kitchen counter with your friend in the room next door
okay
think about this!
think about this with your logical brain and not your bonk horny brain
would you rather see your very hot boyfriend’s face in between your legs or would you rather send him away so you can continue making a cake for your very picky friend?
you plant both palms on the counter before raising your hips a little, namjoon grinning in victory before yanking your shorts down in one go
if you would’ve known this was going to happen today you definitely would’ve worn a sexier pair of panties
white cotton is boring!!!
also you know this is the wrong time to be thinking this but you’re wondering if it would be possible to rope yoongi into a shopping spree at victoria’s secret next week because you’re going to need better looking panties if namjoon’s going to keep springing these spontaneous sessions on you
“cute.” namjoon hums, poking at the little blue bow that sits at the centre of the waistband
your breathing stills as he slowly lowers himself to his knees in front of you and you feel like your heart is about to beat out of your chest at the sight alone 
“soaked right through…” namjoon observes quietly, turning his head to press a kiss to the pillowy flesh of your inner thigh, “i’ve barely touched you, baby.”
you jolt in surprise when he runs his thumb slowly up your slit through the thinned fabric of your panties, though he stops right as he’s about to reach your clit
so close yet so, so painfully far
you nudge him with your foot, “you’re teasing.” you swallow thickly, namjoon offering you a boyish grin as he tilts his head, pushing his bottom lip out in a mocking pout
“aw… am i?” he coos, and you shiver when he leans in to press a kiss over your clothed clit, “i’m sorry, darling… that must be so hard for you…”
“and you’re being mean.” you murmur, namjoon chuckling to himself as he pulls your panties down your legs
“am not.”
“are too.”
“am not.” namjoon perks a brow, pushing your thighs apart gently, “take it back.”
“no wa-!” your back immediately straightens as if a jolt of electricity just shot straight up your spine at the first feeling of namjoon licking one long stripe up your centre, and you fight back the urge to snap your legs shut
that’s.,., new!
very new
very new feeling
you’re certainly not against it and it’s not a bad feeling 
it’s just���
new
“good?” your breath wavers when namjoon hums against you, your eyelids fluttering shut at the feeling of his tongue slowly pressing in deep, “hm?”
namjoon slips his tongue in between your folds before sliding it flat and straight up to your swollen clit, grinning to himself when you finally give in to pleasure and lie back on the counter
you whimper, rolling your hips down towards his mouth as he drags his tongue over your slit in repetitive strokes before flicking his tongue over the top of your clit
it’s too much and not enough at the same time, your legs instinctively starting to squeeze shut around him
“nuh-uh, baby…” you find that you can barely move, namjoon’s fingers digging into your thigh as a warning as he keeps your legs open, “keep them spread for me.”
namjoon watches your reaction intensely, finding pleasure in the way that your chest rises and falls quickly and in the way you twitch every now and again
from here, he can see the way your brows furrow and the way you bite and tug at your bottom lip in a poor effort to keep yourself quiet 
“you can use your words like a good girl, can’t you?” namjoon teases, two fingers rolling tight little circles into your clit as he watches you, barely blinking, “tell me how good it feels…”
“good- ungh, feels good-” you whimper, hips bucking up against his fingers desperately
namjoon looks down to see you practically dripping onto the counter
jesus 
he would’ve done this a lot sooner had he known you’d be acting like this from his touch 
“fuck me,” namjoon groans suddenly, and all of a sudden it seems like everything’s moving ten times faster than before, “you look so fucking hot right now-”, he wraps his strong arms underneath both your thighs before yanking you closer to him, practically burying his entire face in between your legs
your right leg gets hitched up over his shoulder and you quickly sit back up, digging your fingers into the soft strands of namjoon’s hair as his tongue laves back and forth against your folds
your back arches and you tilt your head up towards the ceiling, namjoon instinctively pushing his clothed crotch against the bottom part of the counter for some kind of relief 
he’s so painfully hard from just hearing you hold back moans and watching you squirm and twitch 
you remind yourself to loosen your grip on namjoon’s hair because you’re worried that you might accidentally rip some strands out and leave him with a bald patch, but namjoon obviously doesn’t seem to mind as he doubles his efforts and starts to lick and and suck with tremendous fervour 
“fuck, you taste good-” he curses, his right hand sliding underneath your sweatshirt to cup your bare breast before he pinches and rolls your nipple in between his fingers
he drags his tongue down to circle around your tight hole and you jerk immediately, “oh my god-” you pant, overwhelmed by all the different feelings your body is experiencing at this moment, “that feels so-”
your bum is teetering on the edge of the counter at this point because namjoon’s basically pulled you off of it and you reach down to grip at the edges so you don’t fall off 
“gonna cum?” namjoon murmurs, eyes locking on your face almost immediately as he feels you starting to squirm underneath him 
he really wants to watch you cum
“j-joonie, god, don’t stop-” the arm wrapped around your waist tightens around you and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he continues his torturous onslaught of pleasure, “i-i- nngh- namjoon-!”
“i’ve got you, baby… you can cum…” namjoon feels himself twitch in his sweats upon hearing you moan his name like that 
the thought of gagging you with your own panties to mute your moans briefly flits through his mind but... he wants to hear you moaning his name over and over and over again 
he wants to make you scream for him
when it happens, you practically bite your bottom lip off trying not to cry out in ecstasy
namjoon has to hold your trembling thighs open to keep them from snapping his head right off
your hips buck lazily as you quiver around namjoon’s hot tongue, your body glistening in a sheen layer of sweat as you bask in the slow, rolling waves of ecstasy
you lie back down against the counter, chest heaving beneath your sweater as you stare dazedly up at the ceiling
oh, wow
you watch as the ceiling fan whirrs around and around and around
you feel like you’re not physically here right now 
like your soul left your body and you’re just floating in the air like a bunch of particles 
“-!” you twitch when namjoon carefully wipes you off with your panties before setting them onto the counter next to you 
you slowly prop yourself up onto your elbows so you can look at him, feeling your cheeks flush when you see that he’s looking right at you 
you’re not sure why you’ve gone all shy again as if his tongue wasn’t licking you out ten seconds ago 
“hi, pretty girl...” he smiles, his dimple popping up in his right cheek, “welcome back.” he jokes, rising to his feet while keeping your right leg propped up onto his shoulder
he turns to give your ankle a kiss before gently bringing your leg down and helping you sit up
“that was really something...” you wrap your arms loosely around his neck as he grasps your hips before leaning down to give you a sweet little kiss 
“oh yeah? did i live up to dreamjoon?” namjoon teases, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before pinching the apple of your cheek 
“you did a much better job than dreamjoon.” you hum, and it’s only then that you’re aware of the very prominent bulge pressing into your centre, “but i... i wanna make you feel good, too…” you murmur, namjoon biting back a groan when you nudge your bare centre against him, a darkened splotch now staining the front of his sweatpants  “and…” you lean upwards to whisper something into namjoon’s ear
...
...
holy shit
yes please
“yeah, shit, we can definitely do that-” namjoon hates to admit to how horny he is but he can’t help it when you go around saying stuff like that to him, “we-” he pauses suddenly, eyes going wide in panic, “oh, shit!” 
“wh- what??” you look around the kitchen frantically before grabbing the closest thing to you as a form of defence (a silicone whisk) 
“friggin’ yoongi-!” namjoon hisses in pain as he adjusts himself in his sweatpants, “i forgot about yoongi-”
okay
a little weird of him to be thinking about yoongi while he’s touching his- 
“oh my god, yoongi!” you hiss quietly, hopping off the counter with wobbly legs 
namjoon hands you your shorts and you quickly wiggle into them before pulling your sweatshirt down  
you completely forgot that yoongi was in the room right next to you guys and that last moan of yours wasn’t exactly quiet
and you know that yoongi might not have a lot of knowledge when it comes to baking, but you’re sure that he knows enough to know that practically screaming namjoon’s name out loud isn’t a key step in achieving a fluffy cake batter 
“we weren’t doing anything!” 
the two of you stumble out into the living room and you file through your brain to come up with some kind of a logical excuse as to why you’re hot and sweaty and why namjoon’s hiding his lower half behind a kitchen towel and how in the world those two facts are related to his precious carrot cake cupcakes
you pause when you notice that yoongi’s nowhere to be found 
?
the documentary’s still playing on the TV, the boxes of tinsel and baubles have been completely abandoned, and there’s nothing but a blue sticky note sitting on the couch 
taking a nap in my car. text me when you guys are done being horny. also - you’re welcome. 
christmas with cee 2020 masterlist
🎁what would you like from ceenta this year? 🎁
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lauraashley93 · 4 years ago
Text
Stormy Weather
-reader is afraid of the dark so when there’s a storm and a power outage. Ez comes to her rescue.
Warningd: none
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It was finally the weekend and you were so excited. Work had been long and stressful and it had you in a gloomy mood. All you wanted to do was spend your night on the couch with your boyfriend Ez and relax. The thought of being curled up next to him in his white muscle shirt and boxers had you grinning from ear to ear brightening your mood immensely. That was until you got to the exit door and seen it was piss pour raining outside. You sighed, instantly feeling your mood turning gloomy again.
You were driving home silently cursing the rain as it pours harder. You were a little scared of storms. You gulped as thunder and lightening cracked across the sky just praying it would stop. You pulled into your drive way as you ran to the safe warm confinement’s of your home. You went straight to the bathroom turning on a hot shower. Changing out of your now wet clothes and trying to warm up. You stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out, sighing you begrudgingly got out of the shower and quickly dried off and got changed into your favorite sweat pants and hoody.
You looked at the time, it was only 6 o’clock. You still have another hour before Ez said he’d be home. You started making dinner trying to distract yourself from the storm going on. You busied yourself with chores around the house until you heard the oven beep alerting you that your lasagna was done. As soon as you pulled it out of the oven BOOM,CRACK! You dropped the lasagna on the floor then the lights went off. You screamed and took off running. You ran straight into the hallway table which made you scream again. “PLEASE DONT KILL ME” you dropped to the ground until you realized what you had done. You calmed yourself down and got up as you hurriedly looked for the flashlight and took off running up stairs. You ran straight for the closet and slid to the corner trying not to hyperventilate.
—————————-
Ez was at the club house waiting for the rain to slow down a bit. He didn’t wanna ride his bike all the way to your house and get drinched.
“Aye yo Boy Scout ain’t you supposed to be getting back to y/n?” Angel said to Ez with a smirk on his face. “Yeah, that’s why I wish the damn rain would lighten up so I could do so. She’s making lasagna tonight and the thought of it makes my mouth water.”
Coco laughed. “Yeah I’m sure it’s the lasagna that makes your mouth water. I could think of a couple other things that would be better.” Ez rolled his eyes at Coco’s comments even though he knew he was absolutely right. Everything about you turned Ez on and so he cursed the rain even harder because now thoughts of you and him were flooding his mind and his member was making himself known.
“Hey, isn’t y/n afraid of storms?” Gilly said from beside Coco. “And the dark? Because there’s been a power outage according to this weather app on my phone.”
Ez’s eyes grew wide. “Oh shit. She’s probably freaking out! Fuck it, I gotta go.”
And with that Ez was out the door and on his bike. Mother Nature must have decided to have some sympathy on him as the rain had lightened up a tad. Ez was going as fast as he could to get to you knowing you were probably panicking and freaking out. He finally pulled into your driveway, getting off his bike he ran toward the porch and to the front door. It was locked which didn’t surprise him any he used his key and opened the door. All the lights were out. He kicked his boots off and started searching for you.
“Y/n?? Where are you??” He didn’t see you in the living room or kitchen. He started up the stairs and opened your bedroom door. He seen a slight glow coming from the closet and he smirked to himself. Of course you’re hiding.
He slowly opened the door to the closet. He tried to not smile but failed so he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the site in front of him. You were sitting here, knees to chest rocking slowly with the flashlight in one hand and bat in the other.
“Y/n, baby, what are you doing in here? It’s just a storm mi Amor. ”
“I, I..” you started sobbing and you practically jumped into his arms “I was just minding my own fucking business trying to cook you dinner when there was all this booming and lightning and then I dropped the lasagna on the floor and the damned lights decided they didn’t need to work anymore and the hallway table tried to kill me and so I hid in here and I just am so glad you’re here now.” You were disaster. Everything came out in a rush as you gasped between sobs and buried your face into his chest.
“The table tried to kill you?” He tried desperately to hide the amusement in his voice as he rubbed circles on your back. “Do I need to shoot it?”
You looked up at him and blinked a few times. “Are you.. are you laughing at me??” You pushed back from him. “Are you kidding? I was practically almost a victim in a horror movie and you’re laughing at me! What if it hadn’t of been the the table and some pshyco killer?? And see if I make you my lasagna again.. the audacity...
He cut you off and kissed you. Your current irritation and anxiety all but forgotten as he deepens the kiss sliding his tongue against yours you massage his back with yours as you wrap your arms around his neck. He smiles against your lips and pulls away. You whine at the sudden loss of contact and look at him with pouty lips.
“Hey, I was not finished! How are you going to make fun of me and then stop giving me lovins?”
“I was not making fun of you!” You gave him a look and he laughed. “I was simply teasing you. I rushed here as soon as I could to make sure you were okay because of the storm. I love you and I will always be here to protect you.” You smiled and snuggled back to him “even if it is from a psycho killing table”
He laughed as you smacked his chest and narrowed your eyes at him.
“You are just full of jokes today well we will just see how funny you think this is when I don’t give you no attention.”
You crossed your arms and huffed and he smirked and looked at you. Like he was challenging you. He knew good and well that you wouldn’t say no to any attention he gave you.
“Oh? So if I did this..?” He slowly kissed your neck and nibbled slightly at your skin. Uh-oh. You were in trouble. Your eyes closed as you moaned softly. He knew your weakness.
“I, no, i dont... what was the question again?” He chuckled as his bit your ear lobe softly. “How about we take this to the bed and I’ll make sure you forget all about this awful storm and make sure you feel safe and protected?”
You nodded eagerly. “I’ve been looking forward to that all day” Ez smiled as he picked you up without effort and threw you over his shoulder. You giggled as he threw you gently on the bed.
“Now, where were we?” You smiled and bit your lip. “I think we were right about here” You leaned in and kissed him as all your worries about the dark and the storm faded away.
@angelreyesgirl @auroraariza @spookys-girl @trulysuccubus @stunning-shitz @rosieposie0624 @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @skyofficialxx @strawberrywritings @bucky-iss-bae @miss-nori85 @cind-in-real-life @deeandbobbymcgee @starrynite7114 @louisianalady @itsjaybeast @-im-fantastic- @justatiredfool
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captainillogical · 4 years ago
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Home Ch.1
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The domesticity of living with an alien who hasn't quite had the chance at a normal life. 
Distant Lands sequel.
Spinel/Reader
collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​ 
thanks for still reading my shit, love you all
You slam the fridge door, taking a swig out of the bottle of water in your hands that you had just grabbed from the top shelf. It’s hot as hell out this afternoon, and you’ve just finished grabbing the last of your stray belongings to move across town.
“-and you need to make sure to keep your phone on, I’ll be sending you calendar updates to your current schedule. Things have been moved around twice for next week, so expect your lesson times to change again.”
“I appreciate all this Pearl, but you’re acting like I’m moving farther than 5 miles and a single warp away.” You say to the gem lecturing you off a list she’s made on her phone.
“I just like to be sure.” Pearl narrows her eyes at you slightly. “I know you’re capable of handling things on your own, I just worry.”
“You fret like you’re my mom.” You retort with an eye roll, taking another sip of water. Garnet grins at that, leaning against the counter. It’s just the three of you here in the kitchen.
“Well, I have known you for quite a few of your formative years.” She huffs, cheeks tinting blue. “I remember when you first responded to that ad Greg put up, you walked in and-”
“Pearl, oh my god, please no.” You cut her off, capping your bottle, it crinkling slightly in your hands.
“I think she’s getting empty nest syndrome.” Garnet says with a small chuckle.
“Y/N, you are sure about this, right?” Pearl ignores Garnet’s comment. “I know that living on your own can be fairly difficult as is..”
“We talked about this extensively yesterday, Pearl.” You sigh, giving her a specific look. “I’ll be fine. I’ve been through hell already enough as is, this will be a walk in the park for me. Besides, I’ve got Spinel.���
“That’s kind of what I’m worried about.” She replies, levelling her gaze with yours.
You try not to sigh out loud at her again.
Okay, so. Really, it's been less than a week since you've solidly been back on Earth. You can't reasonably expect Pearl of all people to be one for quick adjustment. But you did spend a long time with her the day prior going over all her questions about the surface of Golgotha for an updated gem archive entry she's working on. You were kind of hoping it would calm most of her worries about this in general, but you feel like based on some of your responses it might've made her worry even more. Not to mention paired with that incident in the kitchen the other day with Amethyst..
Even if it was a little painful for you for multiple reasons; like having to re-live terrifying moments in detail - it wasn't as painful as the BARRAGE of questions she pummelled you with about the nature of your relationship with Spinel once she got you alone. Fucking mortifying, that was, when Pearl had the audacity to ask if you two had been like this prior to coming back to Earth. You tried keeping much of it to yourself as possible as you aren't super well-adjusted to everything yourself. Like jesus fucking christ, Amethyst and Garnet accepted your text message without much question, other than a thumbs up from her and a solid wall of emojis and expletives from the shorter gem. And maybe a couple roasts about it that you're not going to mention. But they had managed to accept it without embarrassing you much, why couldn't Pearl be less.. Pearl about it?
“What do you think is honestly going to happen?” You retort flatly.
“Well, I don’t have-” Pearl stops to spare a glance at Garnet, who barely even reacts.
“Future-vision is cheating.” She says, lips still forming a wry smile. “She will be fine as long as she remembers to make sure the oven is off.”
“You’re gonna make me paranoid..” You groan. “And see Pearl? I’ll be fine.”
“If you say so." She says like she's waiting to be proven right somehow. You know her enough to not be offended by it. "You didn't forget about your stuff in the bathroom, did you?"
"Nah, but it's not like I won't be back, y'know, in-case you maybe find my missing rubber ducky." You say, feeling your stomach rumble. "And while I do love you both, really, I've got to go get some food in me and finish the lesson plan for next week.."
"Fiiine, go! Clearly we're just here to nag you." Pearl says with a bit of a huff, slight pout on her face, but you can tell she's mainly doing it for the dramatics.
"Don't be like that." You hold back rolling your eyes at her, even if you really want to. You grab the bag with the rest of your things off the counter, shouldering it.
"Did you give me sitting in and watching your first class any more thought?" Garnet asks, resting her hands on her hips. You can't see her eyes, but you know if you could she'd be studying your face for an answer. "It might help with the nervousness you're feeling."
"Yeaaaaaaahhhh," You let out a breath a bit nervously, having given that exactly zero extra thought. "I'm still pretty sure that you'd just give me performance anxiety. Give me a few more days to think about it."
You say your goodbyes for now, toeing your shoes on and heading out the door down to the beach below.
Ugh. It's hot, and so is the sand.
You should think about finally replacing your old car. You know, the one that died last year that Peridot said was worth more in scrap metal? You miss that old junker. You'd have to save up a considerable amount of money you don't have, but, ugh, you'll think about this later.
The breeze makes your hair fly into your face, and you're annoyed the entire walk over to town. Your stomach growls again, and you decide on pizza for your afternoon lunch.
It's kind of a no-brainer when your feet lead you to Fish Stew Pizza, and your hand is already on the door handle and opening it when you subconsciously realize a small hangup, possibly, just as the door opens.
Kiki's inside and manning the counter, and she's the only one in the establishment at all currently. You let out a breath of relief.
"Weeeeeeelcome." She greets you without even looking up from her phone.
"Afternoon'." You say in greeting, feeling awkward preemptively. Kiki looks up immediately when she hears your voice, and her facial expression is completely surprised at yours at first before she quickly schools it to more of a casual, neutral one.
Ah. Lars came through.
You see.. after that first day back you utterly loathed the idea of explaining why you're now pink to literally everyone else, and Lars offered to send out a couple quick informative texts. What a fucking bro. You should probably help him out sometime just for the effort alone.
"Y/N, it's good to see you." Kiki says, trying not to be too obvious that she's giving you a glance-over.
"Thanks, you too." You hear coming out of your mouth, the air conditioning of this place cooling you off rapidly. God you even SOUND awkward. "It's pretty empty in here for the time of day, that's kind of odd."
"Yeahhh, but I'm not gonna complain about it. I'm covering Jenny's shift right now and I'll take the slowness if it means I can just be on my phone.." She's staring at the scar on your face, and you feel.. weirdly self conscious about it.
"Typical Jenny. You gotta stop going easy on her." You reply, leaning against the counter.
“Oh, I wasn’t going easy. She’s doing my chores this week because of this, so actually she’s the one getting the short stick out of this. I had nothing planned with my time off.” She sets her phone down, and oh my god, she will not stop staring.
“Will you just say what you’re thinking and get this over with?” You spit out, impatient. She reels back for literally only a split second before leaning forward eagerly and getting right into your space.
“Lars wasn’t fucking lying, huh. That place messed you UP.” She reaches over the counter to touch your hair, and if it were nearly anyone other than Kiki you’d punch them in the face. But she helped you deal with her sister back then, so. “I saw you maybe a week and a half ago, and now look at you! Pink like Lars and with a giant scar on your face to boot! What didn’t happen to you there?!”
“I er, didn’t get the face scar there, and it wasn’t the only one I gained.” You say with a grimace. Your stomach growls again. “How much exactly did he tell you?”
“What!? I mean he told me about you being kidnapped by a deranged gem and that you died, but that was about it!” She replies, expression bewildered.
You sigh. God. Okay. That’s not the worst thing he could’ve told people. But he’s not making this any easier for you anyway.
“Listen, can I order a small plain cheese pizza? And then I’ll enlighten you.”
“Yeah, you got it.” She grins, getting this spark in her eye while ringing you up and even giving you a hefty discount. It’s why she’s your favorite sister of the two.
You move to sit by the window table, setting your bag down on one of the other chairs and pulling out your lesson notes.
You don’t really feel super up to this right now, but you should probably go over a few things by yourself that Pearl gave you some pointers on. You’re nervous, like really nervous about teaching this class, if you’re honest with yourself. But you also think it will be fun, and interesting, even. You’re only giving two hour-long lessons a week for right now, as the others wanted to see how well you’d fair. Your first lesson is in just a few days. Also, the class currently has 43 gems signed up for it, and that’s quite a bit of a hefty crowd.
You were expecting an interest of maybe.. 4 gems total. This is a little unnerving. You only have the one flier posted up with the other new classes on that board, so you’re guessing word of mouth was how it spread.
You feel your phone buzz a couple times in your pocket, and you pull it out to see who it is. When you see who the messages are from, you can’t help but feel a smile break out on your face that you have a hard time suppressing. Oh, and whoops, you forgot to reply to her earlier messages while you were being lectured by Pearl.
[14:13] Spinel: uuuuugh i just want today to be OVER please
[14:13] Spinel: i think bismuth enjoys sending me to help peridot like some kind of sadist
[14:13] Spinel: its like she knows i dont want to hear about camp pining hearts for the third day in a row? i get peridot needs assistance but i haven’t even seen this show and now i have no need to ever physically watch it
[15:42] Spinel: you can’t ignore me in person Y/N
[15:42] Spinel: i haven’t seen you in two days and this is how you treat me?
[15:42] Spinel: like an afterthought?
[15:42] Spinel: hurtful
You roll your eyes to yourself, still grinning. You can feel affection coming through the words even if that isn’t what they’re saying. You’re also ecstatic at the concept of the others getting on with Spinel quickly enough to annoy her on purpose now. You miss her face, and feel a little silly about it, considering it hasn’t even been that long. It sucks, but at least she texts you fairly often. And as of today, well, you get to live with her.
[15:43] Y/N: Rest assured, I can ignore you in person.
[15:43] Y/N: Dramatic ass.
[15:43] Y/N: I’m going to be seeing you in like, an hour anyway. Chill.
“Why are you smiling like that?” You hear, jolting upright in your seat as Kiki sets down your personal pizza in front of you with a glass of water. It smells heavenly. “You never smile like that.”
“Uh,” You reply, caught off-guard, and set your phone down. “Was just replying to something funny Steven said.”
“Sure.” She says in a tone that screams ‘I don’t believe you whatsoever but okay’.
You reach out for a slice of pizza and take a bite, cheese almost dripping all over the lesson plans in front of you. Kiki moves the papers aside for safekeeping, and you mutter out a quick thanks.
“So,” She starts, resting her chin on her hand. “You gonna enlighten me, or what?”
You finish chewing your slice of pizza, and grab another. And then you indulge her questions. All of them.
She has a lot.
You leave out all the details of what happened between you and Spinel, you’re really not ready to have those kinds of conversations yet. Dealing with Steven giving you shit for it has been more than enough to want it from anyone else, and you haven’t even told Lars about it - even though you told him you would whenever you finally confessed to her.
Also.. uh. You won’t lie. Between the both of you being pretty fucking busy almost right off the bat, you haven’t exactly, er. Had the girlfriend conversation with Spinel yet. Other than that one night, people are always around you two. You know you gotta just talk to her about it to clarify, but shit, you’re stupidly anxious about it. Part of your brain is literally screaming at you about being stupid about it, because sure, you had the most nerve-wracking love confession of your life and you two boned and also she definitely said she felt the same way, but what if this is just real casual to her?
Oh my god, you over-think fucking everything. Get it together.
You think not seeing her for two days in-person might be driving you nuts, a little.
"Lars didn't really tell me anything about Spinel. He gave me the jist of it, but told me to ask you for everything else whenever you seemed okay with it." She lets out a long breath, and you watch her eyes focus on you. "Imagine what would've happened if you weren't there with him that day. Do you think she would've killed him?"
"I'm not entirely sure. Honestly? She definitely had the strength to, but it doesn't really matter to me now. She wouldn't harm a hair on anyone's head." You reply, trying to not mull over the Spinel you experienced when you first met.
"You seem to have full faith in her." She states, a small smile forming on her face. "You didn't treat any of the other gems that tried killing Steven with any kindness for at least a month. You're less forgiving than Pearl."
"I spent a month with her alone on a planet, Kiki. I had to learn how to work with her, and she saved my life." You retort.
"Yeah, only cause you put yourself in danger for her." She narrows her eyes at you. “And you’re moving in with her today?” Kiki asks, expression a bit suspicious, smile still on her face. This makes you uneasy.
“Yeah?” You reply, confused. “It’s not that weird, is it? I moved in with Steven fairly quickly.”
“Yeah, except that was a different type of situation, you were a guardian for him. And this is you we’re talking about here.” She levels you with a look. “I feel like I’m missing something you’re not telling me. Like a key part to all of this.”
“L-like what?” You shove another slice of pizza into your mouth to shut yourself up. Not fucking today, dammit. Not today.
“I dunno, there’s just something..” She trails off, her eyebrows drawn together on her forehead as if she’s got a thought within her grasp. She looks at your hand, grasping your phone, squinting her eyes. She then shakes her head. “Whatever, you’ll tell me eventually. It’s not as if you’re sleeping with her.”
You choke on the slice of pizza you’re currently chewing, and violently so.
Kiki’s eyes go wide, and you put a hand up as if you can stop whatever thoughts are racing through her head. Her jaw drops.
“Wait,” You manage to choke out, gasping for air and finding it very difficult. You can't tell if you can feel your face going red from the lack of air, or from this conversation.
“Y/N.” Is all she says, voice dripping incredulously. “Y/N!”
“Kiki, you have the wrong idea-”
“I cannot believe you.” She says, mouth still open. She’s got half a grin on her face like she’s just unearthed the most juicy gossip, and you are SO not here for this. "Wait until Jenny hears about this."
"Kiki!" You wail, and sputter out another cough. "Kiki you can't tell anyone!"
"Why not!?" She cackles. "And besides, I don't even know if she'd believe me anyway. Y/N of all people?!"
"Tell her, and I'll tell Sadie you had a crush on her for a year." You spit out in a panic.
"You wouldn't!" Kiki narrows her eyes at you, face of mock betrayal.
"I would. Watch me." You state, grabbing your phone off the table pointedly.
"Okay okay! Sheesh." She puts her hands up in surrender. "So you gonna tell me the dirty deets or what?"
"No, I don't kiss and tell." You scowl at her, but she doesn't seem put off by it at all.
"Knowing you, that doesn't surprise me." She grabs your glass of water, taking a sip of it. You're not even annoyed. "Guess you and Greg have something in common."
She laughs at her own joke, and you can't help putting your face in your hands and groaning loudly and dramatically. It only makes her laugh harder.
"Shut uuuup." You sigh, grabbing the glass of water from her and taking your own sip.
The two of you talk for awhile as she grills you about Spinel, and you share what you're comfortable with. Eventually, she gets a family of customers in that she has to attend to, and you busy yourself with what you had come here originally to do.
Time passes and you lose track a bit, until your phone vibrates on the table and shakes you out of your concentration.
It's a couple texts from Spinel.
[17:04] Spinel: it'll be a while until I'm free
[17:04] Spinel: there were some ISSUES apparently
You stare at your phone. You try not to be irritated at the situation.
It's not like you haven't seen her in a hot minute or anything. You weren't eager at all to be able to see her face or hear her voice. You sigh, and text her back.
[17:05] Y/N: It's fine.
You stare at your phone for a little bit, but she seems busy enough to not have the chance to respond quickly.
Fuck it, it's not like you have anything else to do. You're tired of the papers and notes in front of you. Might as well make your way over to little Homeworld and wait for Spinel to be free from Peridot's tiny demon hands.
You pack up, and make sure to say your goodbyes to Kiki, who yells at you to text her as you leave the shop.
It doesn’t take you that long to get to little homeworld, and thankfully you know where Peridot is usually working as of late.
You pass by the town center, and the glass in some of the taller buildings glare in the evening sun. There's quite a few gems around, working and building, many conversing with each other. There's a couple humans intermingled with them as well. The general atmosphere is pretty lovely here. You like it.
A Rose Quartz bumps into you on the sidewalk and your bag flies off your shoulder, spilling the contents onto the ground.
"Ah! I'm so sorry!" She spins around, arms out to make sure she didn't shove you off of the sidewalk as well. "I'm just so clumsy." She says, pushing her long pink hair over her shoulder and grabbing for your things on the ground before you can even think to scoop them up yourself.
"It's okay, I wasn't exactly paying attention either." You reply, grabbing the papers that flew out of your bag and onto the street. Thankfully, nothing's damaged. She hands you your stuff, and you place it back into your bag. "Thanks."
"It was mostly my fault anyway." She grins lazily, and you watch her eyes wander around the area of your face where you have that scar. "Hmm, I feel like I've seen your face around here before. You hang out with Steven?"
"You could say that." You smile back at her and shoulder your bag. She's got this way about her that makes you think she's analyzing you, but not out of judgement. "Why?"
"No reason! I'll see you around, cutie." She says with a sly grin and a wink, and you're standing there feeling completely taken aback. Your face heats up a little in embarrassment. That was.. okay. Whatever the hell that was.
You keep walking, mind wandering as you try to figure out what the hell that gem's deal was.
You manage to spot Bismuth near a building with more scaffolding than anything else, and she's huddled with Peridot, Lapis, a couple quartz, and Spinel. You won't lie to yourself when your heart does a little summersault in your chest when you spot her magenta twintails.
They're talking loudly and animatedly about something you can't manage to hear from this distance, and you don't bother to get any closer. You duck into the entryway of a nearby building less than a hundred feet in distance from them just to linger for a moment.
One of the Quartz says something, and they all erupt into laughter, and your eyes are trained on no one but Spinel. There’s something about watching her like this that makes your heart swell, and you feel a bit ridiculous over it. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and you tear your eyes away to check it.
It's a message from Steven.
[17:37] Steven: can I ask you for a favor? It's not work related.
[17:37] Steven: Connie's parents invited me to dinner
[17:37] Steven: hELP
You stare at your phone, feeling your face break out into a grin. Someone tries to get into the shop you're standing in front of, so you side step to move out of the way momentarily.
[17:38] Y/N: Haha oh buddy.
You look up after sending the message just to make sure you're in no one's way, and you happen to see Spinel just as she's turning her head in your direction, aaaaaand she's spotted you.
Her face brightens up immediately.
She says something to the others, and most of them turn their faces to peer at you. Your face heats up, and one of them cracks some kind of joke that makes half the others howl in laughter as one of the Quartz slaps Spinel's back in jest.
What the fuck are they saying?!
She manages to disengage herself, waving a couple loud goodbyes as the others let her go. It sounds like they make another joke at her expense, they all laugh as she runs to catch up to where you're waiting for her.
She groans as she reaches you, bringing her gloved hand up to her forehead to shield her eyes from the sun.
"What the hell did you say to them?!" Is what comes out of your mouth instead of a greeting. You glare at the others, and you can’t tell if they can see your expressions, but they sure are howling with laughter.
"Well hello to you too," She replies, cheekily scratching the back of her head. “And I didn't say a word! They just.. kinda figured it out?” She says sheepishly, cheeks coloring a bit. “Guess I talk about 'ya a lot, eheheh..”
Oh my god, ugh. You think you're going to have a heart attack, probably. She's looking at you like she’s holding back a lot of affection. Probably for your sake?
One of them catcalls at the two of you, and you hear another whistling. You feel your eye twitching, but the smile doesn't leave your face.
"No, really, what'd you tell them?"
"That you're my girlfriend, you idiot, because they basically knew that already." She retorts with a roll of her eyes. She grabs your hand, and you feel your face heat up even more. "Let's get 'outta here already."
Well. That answers all your insecurities.
You look forward to the next upcoming days.
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x-ia-n · 4 years ago
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━ you are.
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➞ including: yuu nishinoya, gn!reader
overview: in which all he wants is to just confess to you.
word count: 1.4k
➼ haikyuu masterlist
↳ main masterlist
↦ this is an alternate version of [confession song], unrequited crushes but not quite
❛dedicated to jaine, the maya to my riley, the biggest noya simp ive met.❜
‧͙⁺˚・༓☾  ☽༓・˚⁺‧͙
‘stupid tanaka,’ yuu thinks, getting him into this mess. how was he supposed to confess to you, anyway? he was just a libero in their volleyball team, and openly obsessed over one (1) girl before he met you. his desk at home is littered with drafts of love letters he’s written to you; a drawer is filled with completed ones, he just can’t choose which one to give you. ryuunosuke suggested that he bakes you a cake because ‘who doesn’t like cake?’ and like two peas in a pod, sharing one collective brain cell, he agreed. 
that brings us to the present, as yuu desperately looks for the ingredients listed on a small piece of paper. he could always go to coach ukai’s shop, but he wants that as a last resort. it’s christmas eve, and he sure as hell is running out of time if he wants to give the homemade cake for you and your family on christmas.
as he looked through the supermarket aisle, he’s rehearsing what he should say to you. he’s tried to confess once or… three times before, all of which either got interrupted or turned out badly. the libero remembers when he tried to confess to you but yamaguchi accidentally hit you with a serve and caused you to get a nosebleed. ryuunosuke tried to calm him down before he went feral on his junior.
he paid for the ingredients with the money he saved up - which he had only for the sole purpose of confessing to you - and started heading home. he was mumbling under his breath, “hey, i really like you… no. i know this is probably out of nowhere but will you go on a date… no.” 
it was four in the afternoon when he got home, and focused on making the perfect cake he could. this time for sure, he’d confess to you, and it would be right. yuu spent two hours making the cake, not including the time it took in the oven. for the first time in his life, he dedicated himself to something equally as much as he did in volleyball. he has to make it perfect, because if his words fail him, he needs that cake to do all the talking.
the cake turned out half-presentable. it wasn’t good to put into an instagram post, but it wasn’t that bad either. to be honest, he feels proud of himself for making something that didn’t collapse in on itself.
he carefully put it in a little box before running upstairs to fetch one of the letters and to make himself look presentable. it is currently eight in the evening, four hours after he initially started.
he let his hair down, remembering the comment you made on how you never saw him with it down, put on his cleanest looking collared shirt and dress pants, and a winter coat over it. ‘fuck,’ he thinks, rummaging through the drawer filled with letters. which one to give you? the one he spent the most time on or the one that had everything he wanted to say but his handwriting made them unreadable? does he just… go without giving you a letter and hope that his brain will come up with something?
it was only when he checked his phone did he remember that he was supposed to meet up with you two hours ago. you called him so many times, and the text messages you sent him ranged from excited to concern to pissed that he stood you up.
yuu grabbed the box and one of the letters, cradling them in his arms as he practically ran to the park you both agreed to meet at. to his dismay, you weren’t there. cursing at himself, he headed to your house, the cold winter air biting at his cheeks. of course he forgot a scarf and a cap, but those didn’t matter to him anymore. how long were you waiting in the cold? he knew that you get sick easily in the winter, yet he left you waiting outside in the snow, even though it was an accident.
as he walked up to your doorstep, anxiety ate up his initial excitement, making him feel like vomiting from the uneasiness. was confessing this hard?
he unwittingly raised his hand and the door flung open mid-knock. you were already standing in front of him, arms crossed, your face flushed red from the winter air. you greeted him monotonously. “yuu.”
“hi!” his heart jumped.
“i’m so so sorry for leaving you alone, i was making something. the time flew by, i didn’t notice-”
you interrupted him, “nishinoya, i was waiting. for two hours. it was freezing. you didn’t answer any of my calls.”
shit, he forgot how much it reminded you of the times when you were stood up by friends, and even by dates. he knew they all took a blow of you, especially when you need the reassurance that you are still wanted somehow. he could see the layers of clothing you stripped off just laying on the couch, and how you were waiting for the kettle to boil water for you to make a hot drink to warm yourself up.
despite you being mad at him, you silently invited him inside by just… leaving the door open when you walked in. it took him a moment to get it, though.
“stop apologizing already.” you said, handing him a cup of tea. you could see the snowflakes in his hair, and the redness in his cheeks, from what exactly, you couldn’t tell.
you nodded to the box he’s still cradling in his arms, and raised an eyebrow in question. the libero thrusted the box into your hands, his face turning redder by the second. before you could even open your mouth to say something, he says, “please read the cake!”
your confused face slowly morphed into one in disbelief when you opened the box lid and all you read were the words ‘i like you so much!’ in bright red icing. your heart was pounding in your ears as you struggled to form words.
this set the boy into panic mode as he started rambling on how much he likes you but he didn’t know how to confess, and how he fears that he might have thrown you off because he joins ryuunosuke in complimenting kiyoko. he sprinkled in some apologies about leaving you to wait in the cold despite him knowing how much you hate being exposed to cold air. 
“yuu, shut up.” you say, your face red from his clumsy confessions.
‘this is it, you hate him, you’re going to reject him,’ he thinks. “please accept my feelings!” he took the box from your hands and set it on the coffee table and grabbed your hands in his. 
“i may not be much, and i may be far from your dream guy, but please give me a chance!” 
you look at him, his eyes burning with determination, then at your intertwined hands. “you… are an idiot.”
before he could react, you squeezed his hands gently. “i like you too, stupid. why’d you think i was willing to wait that long for you, all the time?”
he remembers you waiting for his practice to finish so you could walk home together, you missing the first fifteen minutes of a movie you were so excited for because he got caught up in the long line for popcorn, and so many more instances. “wait, what?”
he could yell and jump for joy right now. “i thought that someone like you would be too good for me.”
it took you all your self-control to not hit him right now. “for someone so confident, i can’t believe you’re so insecure. who wouldn’t like you?” 
he then proceeded to bask in the compliments you give him, but all that truly registered in his mind is that you like him back.
yuu’s trademark grin spread across his face as he wrapped his arms around you. “ha-ha! you like me back!”
he pulled away from you just to cup your face in his hands and bring your face close to his. “thank you. i’m gonna work hard to treat you well!”
you smiled softly at him, leaning into his touch. 
it is currently a quarter before nine in the evening when yuu finally confessed to you. he didn’t need to bring that letter, after all.
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hotchscotchh · 4 years ago
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Reimagined; Chapter 9 - Aaron Hotchner
You cannot convince me that Spencer Reid is not a cat person. 
Also, I made this gif?? I might do more. It was fun
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Summary: Aaron makes a decision. 
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid
Warnings: ANGST, mentions of past drug use
Word count: 2k
Read on AO3
Chapter 8 ---- Chapter 10
Aaron Hotchner was disgusted with himself. He was disgusted that he let this happen to him. The he wasn’t smart enough, strong enough, to keep Foyet away from him and everything he cared about. Well, not quite everything. He still had Spencer. Kind of. He had yet to see Spencer since he left the hospital, both practically unable to function outside of their own apartments, whether it be from their ability to move around or the fear and paranoia that came with PTSD.
So, as a result of not really being able to do anything, Aaron spent a long time staring at his wall and thinking, his only interruptions being the rest of the team’s check-ins. They all made a point of stopping by his apartment every day. He hoped they were as consistent with Spencer, but he never asked. Dave brought him alcohol that he couldn’t drink because of the overwhelming cocktail of medication he was currently taking (some for pain, some for preventing infection, and a few for depression and anxiety), JJ brought Henry and a smile, it was nice for him to have the company of a child, no matter how much he wished it were his own. Emily brought updates about Foyet’s case, descriptions of what he was missing at the BAU. Garcia brought gift baskets, freezer meals, and books and movies to keep him occupied. He always enjoyed her visits the most, they always made him forget about what was really happening in his life, the reason for why she was there, even if it was only for a few minutes.  
Derek Morgan, though, his visits were almost depressing. They came with a frown and constant reassurances that he had checked on Reid today. That he was healing well. That he would get Spencer to pick up the phone and call him one of these days. At first, Aaron didn’t understand why Spencer wouldn’t call him. But then he remembered the decision he had made. He talked to Spencer once before he had made the decision, and twice after, all while he was in the hospital. Of course he had figured it out, the man was smart. A genius, actually, and one of the most adept profilers Aaron had ever met. Of course he had figured it out.
One of those days, after Derek had left (he was always the last to come see him), he made another decision. He was sick of the paranoia. He was sick of living with the decision he made as a constant weight on his shoulders. He knew that decision could change everything. No, it would. There was no doubt that everything would go to absolute shit after he acted on this, but it needed to be done. He was sure he would regret it in the future, hell, he regretted it now, but he hoped that, in the long run, it would be worth it.
----
Spencer spent his days after coming home from the hospital reading, watching Doctor Who, writing to his mother, he’d even picked up knitting (he was determined to make the fourth doctor’s scarf). He needed something, anything, that would distract him from the prison that was his mind. Anything to keep him from breaking down and becoming nothing put a sobbing mess. Anything to keep the intrusive thoughts screaming “you weak son of a bitch, just get the drugs!” out of his head. Sure, the visits from the other team members helped, but they weren’t there when he laid awake all night, willing the tears away from his eyes, knowing he was going to lose one of the last things that was keeping him grounded. The weren’t there when that fucking voice came back. He didn’t want the team. He wanted Aaron. But, with the decision he knew Aaron had made, he wasn’t going to get him.
The second week he had been home, Garcia made her way to his apartment with her arms full of another “just put it in the oven” casserole, a few grocery bags (he couldn’t see what was inside them, but they looked heavy), and a basket that had a blanket over it. She set the items down on the island in his kitchen and when he crutched over, he noticed that something underneath the blanket was moving. He had just opened his mouth to ask what the hell she had brought into his apartment when the basket meowed. It fucking meowed. He looked at Garcia with an expression that said, “I cannot believe you right now.” He lifted the blanket off of the basket and found a pitch-black kitten that he guessed to be about twelve weeks old staring up at him. He pushed his crutches to the side and sat down on one of his barstools. He stuck a tentative hand out, and stroked a cautious line down the thing’s body. He looked up at Garcia with his eyes soft. Penelope though he might cry.
“Can I pick it up?” he asked quietly.
Garcia matched his tone saying, “of course. It’s a her, by the way.”
“Is… Is she for me? Do I get to keep her?”
Penelope thought she might cry now, too. She could see the tears brimming in Spencer’s eyes. “Yeah, Spence. She’s for you.” After few moments spent just looking at Spencer holding this precious thing (the sight was almost too much for her, if she was being honest), she added “what do you want to name her?”
Spencer looked up at her again. This time a tear had fallen. “What do you think of Pluto? Like, from Edgar Allan Poe’s The Black Cat?”
The kitten was purring loudly now, loud enough that Penelope could hear it from the other side of the island. “I think it sounds perfect, hon. It sounds like she likes it too,” Penelope answered with a giggle.
Spencer moved to the couch when Garcia left, still holding the kitten, and was almost asleep when a knock sounded at the door. He looked at the clock. It was seven pm. No one ever came over that late. Normally, he would’ve just called out an “it’s open,” but he had absolutely no idea who it could be. He set the kitten on the couch and waited for it to settle into a blanket that was there before he got up and moved to the look out the peep hole in his door.
The absolute last person he expected to be standing there was Aaron Hotchner, but there he was. And he really shouldn’t be surprised. He knew Aaron knew he knew, and he thought they would just leave it at that. Skip the conversation. He didn’t want that pain. He opened the door anyway. Maybe he’d get some kind of closure, at least. A promise of return one day.
“Hi,” he said when the door was fully opened.
Aaron waved. Spencer turned and walked back to his couch, leaving the door open as the only sign of an invitation inside. Aaron followed him, closing and locking the door behind him (“damn PTSD”). He was going to sit on the couch next to Spencer, but stopped when he saw the kitten.
“What’s this?” Aaron asked.
“Pluto,” Spencer answered, “Pen brought her over earlier today.” He picked the cat up and settled it in his lap after resting the foot of his injured leg on the coffee table. Aaron took that as an invitation to sit down in the now vacant seat.
Spencer broke the silence. “I know what you’re going to say, and I can’t exactly say I want to hear it, nor that I agree with you.”
Aaron looked down at his hands, wishing he had something to do with them other than just letting them sit there. “I need to do this, Spencer. For my own peace of mind. He took my child away from me. I’m not going to let him take you too.”
“Aaron, do you hear yourself? That’s exactly what you’re doing! If you push me away, we’re going to lose everything we have. You’ll be feeding right into his plans, playing his game.” He didn’t expect to be this angry.
The older man had tears running down his face now. “No, Spencer, it’s not. I’m putting a stop to our personal relationship because Foyet is watching me. I know he is, and you won’t convince me otherwise. Don’t you dare say it’s my goddamn PTSD talking. I’m not crazy.” Spencer opened his mouth to interrupt, but Aaron put a hand up. “Let me finish before you say anything. I’m stopping this because he’s going to notice. Because when the rest of the team stops coming around my house every day and it’s just you, there’ll be a target right between your eyes. We always say serial killers are the best profilers. But, Spencer, if we stop this, and go back to what we used to be, just friends, then that target will disappear. You’ll just be another one of my team. I’d rather lose you as a lover than as a whole.”
Spencer’s anger had dissipated about halfway through Aaron’s speech. He looked down at the cat in has lap and reached his shaking hands up to forcefully wipe the tears from his face. Aaron reached over and pulled Spencer’s face up by the chin, forcing him to make eye contact. “Tell me you understand. Please.”
Spencer nodded. “I get it. I do. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.” He took a deep breath. “Just do one thing for me?”
“Anything, Spence.”
“Kiss me. Just one last time.”
Aaron nodded and leaned in slowly, giving Spencer a soft and passionate kiss, hoping his lips could convey how much he hated doing this better than his words could. They both had tears streaming down their faces when they pulled apart. Aaron stood, and Spencer followed. The pair walked to the door together, and Aaron opened it. He turned around just before he walked out and gave one last, “Goodbye, Spencer.” Spencer nodded and put his hand over his mouth, trying his hardest to hold in the sob threatening to escape. Aaron looked like he wanted to do anything but leave. No, he wasn’t Aaron anymore. He was Hotch. And Spencer was Reid. And here they were. Just two colleagues.
Aaron finally turned to walk out the door, and found himself face to face with Derek Morgan. If looks could kill, Hotch would be dead. He looked at the ground and pushed his way around the man, walking out of Reid’s apartment as “Aaron” for the last time. For now, at least. Morgan made his way inside. He had a litter box in his hand that he dropped on the floor before quickly closing the door the second he saw Spencer’s face.
Morgan moved to grab the man before him before he collapsed. He pulled him into a tight hug, his crutches falling to the floor beside him, that sob finally making its way out from behind his hand, his hands fisting in Morgan’s shirt. Morgan carefully maneuvered them to the floor, being extremely cautious of Spencer’s knee, and just held him. Spencer cried into Morgan’s shoulder for what felt like hours but in reality was probably only about fifteen minutes.
When the crying slowed, Morgan began to talk in a soft tone. “Penny told me about Pluto. I brought a litter box for you. She didn’t think of it before, and sends her sincerest apologies.” He took a deep breath, letting it come out in a sigh. “Do you need me to stay with you tonight, Pretty Boy?” Spencer nodded into his shoulder. “Okay. Let’s get that pretty face cleaned up and some comfy clothes on you. I’ll order some Chinese and we can watch one of your weird foreign films. How does that sound?”
“Good,” Spencer answered quietly, a weak smile on his face. Maybe things could go back to the way they were someday. He had to make himself believe that. It would keep him going.  
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enigmasalad · 5 years ago
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Weddings Are Great And All But  My Mom Wants You Over For Dinner Tonight
It has been a boring day so far. Deceit was currently typing away on his fifth laptop (his personal one cause the other four are for his “business”). Remus had gotten a last-minute contract from a rather entitled older man who wanted one of his nephews or something killed. So here Deceit was, alone, bored and totally enjoying his day off. And even though he had just planned a “vacation” for them, he couldn’t get rid of the sappy loneliness in his chest. He groaned and shut his laptop because he needed a nap.
He went to their bedroom, a relaxed form of exhaustion seeping into his limbs once he entered the room. He turned his head to where Jekyll and Hyde were. The twin-headed snake was taking a nap after a rather indulgent lunch. Deceit smiled softly at the sweet creature before falling back onto the bed with his arms spread out. As he shut his eyes, he let his mind become passive, letting each thought come and go. With each thought he slowly drifted to that state between consciousness and sleep.
He didn’t know how long he was in this state, but he did know that he was now more on the conscious side. A soft, fond smile graced his lips before he even thought about it. “Hello Remus. How was the hunt today?” he asked.
 Just as he thought, an uneven pitched giggle revealed that the crazed man was indeed there. Deceit opened his eyes to meet wide green eyes that were filled with a mischievous joy, the kind of joy a child who stole a toy from a person they didn’t like had. “Boo! I thought I could surprise you this time!” Remus laughed.
“Were you about to jump on me or something?” Deceit asked, raising a brow.
“Yep! You looked so peaceful I thought it would be funny to startle you!”
 Remus crawled into bed, still in his lightly bloodied clothes and curled up by Deceit’s side. Deceit moved one of his gloved hands to Remus’s hair and gently scratched the man’s head. Remus let out a low, relaxed noise and snuggled closer.
 “Turns out the whole family was in on the kill. They gave me a large tip for not getting the floors bloody!”
 Remus paused before laughing.
 “Heh! Large tip! Heh heh!”
 Deceit rolled his eyes but smiled none the less at the crude joke. He gave a kiss to Remus’s head. Remus perked up and went to go kiss Deceit. Deceit moved his free had to Remus’s mouth to block the kiss.
 “Did you dispose of the body?” Deceit asked.
 Remus huffed and pouted.
 “I did!” “Remus.”
 Remus sighed and slumped a little.
 “I did not eat the body this time.”
 Silence.
 “Or anything else from the crime scene.”
“Good boy.” Deceit softly praised.
 Remus grinned as Deceit removed his hand and kissed him. Remus immediately and eagerly kissed back. And as usual Remus had to make the kiss filthy the second his lips met Deceit’s. They kissed for a while, enjoying each other’s presence. When they split Deceit decided to tell Remus the news.
 “I arranged our little vacation.” Remus grinned and wiggled excitedly, moving Dee with him a little.
 “Oh fun! Oh, we can use the blood money to get some things for the trip! Like toys! You know I love take two Ds at once!”
“Damn it Remus.”
——-
 “Roman get out of the kitchen.” “What? I just wanted to see what you’re doing! It smells good in here!” “Roman get out of the fucking kitchen I swear to go-don’t touch that!”
“Ow!”
 Roman huffed and held the hand Virgil whacked with a wooden spoon. Virgil glared at him and pointed the spoon at him. “Fine, fine! I’ll just go to Patton’s side of the kitchen!” Roman pouted and quickly moved over to where Patton was mixing batter.
 Patton giggled as Roman hugged him from behind and peppered his neck and cheek in quick kisses. Roman smiled and looked at where Virgil was making fresh pasta dough.
 “You could have this too, but you whacked me with a spoon! Also why are you making fresh pasta when we bought the quick pasta?” Roman had to ask.
 Virgil looked at Roman with a deadpan look, stopping the pasta dough making process.
 “I’m half Italian Roman. You fucking know this.” He said
“Well sorry for asking. Just figured with the time constraint you put on
 Patton laughed again, interrupting
 “Your mom makes the best pasta so I’m glad we’re having her recipe!” he praised.
 Roman grinned as Virgil blushed and ducked his head down. The argumentative tension instantly vanished. Patton had that kind of amazing power.
 “Anyways dear heart, what are you making?” Roman asked Patton, swaying them both gently.
“I asked Imaj what we should have for dessert this time and he asked if we could have brownies tonight so Im making brownies!” Patton replied before tasting the batter.
“Oh fuck yeah.” Virgil said while smiling a little.
 The Petrovs love pasta and brownies more than life itself.
 Patton and Roman chatted, Virgil putting his input every now and then. They talked about how Ginerva and Rosita were at the store, wondering what they were getting there.  Patton brought up how excited his boss, Adam, accepted to come as Patton’s father to the wedding. Adam was Patton’s boss, but the southern man from the Lone Star State was the closest thing to an actual father Patton had. Plus, he paid for Patton’s top surgery out of his own pocket without asking for anything back, so the definitely liked him.
Plus he threatened to shoot them if they ever hurt Patton so..
 “Is there anything I can help with?” Roman asked, mainly because he was bored
“No.” “Not really but I’ll let you know!”
 Roman placed a kiss on Patton’s cheek before rushing to Virgil and kissing his cheek. He ran out of the kitchen with a laugh as he heard Virgil sputter and went into the living room where Logan was sitting on the couch talking to Missy while Imaj sat near the corner with his ukulele and sheet music.
 “-used the blood eagle torture method to sacrifice to Odin and also get rid of people who have no honor in their lives.” Missy was rambling, probably about Vikings.
“You are very knowledgeable about Vikings in..many aspects Missy.” Logan attempted to praise.
 It was a little awkward on how it came out but it made the irritable girl grin widely with pride. She pushed her Viking helmet up so it wouldn’t slide over her eyes.
 “Well duh.” Is all Missy had to say.
“Hello Tiny! Teaching Logan about Vikings again?” Roman greeted.
 Just like that, her smile turned back to her usual irritated frowny face.
 “Don’t call me tiny! Im going to rule the freakin world one day! Im not small!” She said, which only made Roman laugh fondly.
 He remembered when he had given Missy the nickname. She leapt off the couch and headbutted him in the gut so hard he curled up on the ground. Good..weird...good times.
 “And how are you right now Imaj? Still practicing?” Roman asked.
 Imaj startled upon hearing his name but he looked at Roman with a soft smile.
 “Mhm. I think I got it this time.” He answered quietly.
“Good! Will you be playing it for us sometime soon?”
Just like that, the young teen squeaked with embarrassment and pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head.
 “Nooooo..” he quietly whined.
“Alright, alright don’t disappear on me. I’ll leave you alone.”
 Roman sat down next to Logan and wrapped his arm around Logan’s shoulders, pulling the nerd closer.
 “And how are you my pocket protector?” Roman asked. “I am well as I can be.” Logan replied.
 Ah, Logan was nervous cause this was his first actual family dinner (and the first family dinner they’ve had since all four of them got together). It’s taken him a while to work up to this moment, but they were so proud of him.
Still didn’t mean Logan wasn’t nervous about it.
 “You’ll be fine mi amor. You know mama and Mrs. Ginerva love you.” Roman reassured.
“I know this, they’ve made it very apparent.” Logan said with a faint hint of a smile.
 Roman smiled and leaned in to give Logan a kiss. Logan huffed a laugh and met Roman the rest of the way.
 “VIRGIL YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE BEING GROSS.”
 The two men were startled by Missy’s loud shouting.
 “I can’t help you right now! Cooking food!” Virgil called back.
“BUT ITS GROSS.” “You’re gross!” “NO YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE GROSS.”
 Patton came in, apron gone, and hands washed which meant the brownies were probably in the oven.
 “What’s this about being gross kiddo?” he asked. “They’re kissing!” Missy huffed.
“Kissing!” Patton faked a gasp.
 Missy nodded and crossed her arms grumpily. Roman watched as Patton came over and put his hands on his hips and gave a disappointed look.
 “Boys Im shocked at your behavior. How dare you be kissing-“ Patton then grinned widely. “Without me!” With that Roman’s arms were full of his bubby, kind boyfriend and Logan’s lips were being kissed by said boyfriend. Roman laughed as Missy let out a shriek and stomped to the kitchen. Soon Patton was kissing all over his face to, each kiss slightly ticklish and with an audible “mwah!” sound. They could hear Virgil chuckle from the kitchen. Logan was smiling softly, more relaxed with the ones he cares about near. Patton got up and sat next to the other side of Logan and held his hand tightly.
 “I’m happy we’re doing this. I’ve had family dinners before but..they lacked warmth.” Patton admitted.
“That’s one thing our family doesn’t lack is warmth.” Roman said with a grin. “Indeed. You and Virgil have…exceptional mothers.” Logan agreed.
 Roman grinned and wrapped around Logan’s shoulders.
 “I wasn’t just meaning them my iridescent nebula. You both are part of this family too now.”
“Awwww Roman!!!” Patton squealed.
 The sound of the front door opening interrupted anything else that could have been said.
 “Booooooys! Missy! We’re hoooome!” Roman’s mother, Rosita sing-songed
“Hi Miss Rosita! Hi Miss Ginerva!” Patton called back.
 Rosita giggled and came into the living room.
 “Dawww I hope you weren’t mentally scarring poor little Imaj over there.” She said.
 Oh shit Imaj has just been sitting there quietly. The thing about that kid besides having almost crippling anxiety is he could disappear from people’s view despite being there.
 “Don’t worry Rosita. I don’t mind.” Imaj softly said with a smile. “This is why you’re my favorite.” Roman said.
 Immediately there was a loud, high pitched angry “WHAT?” from the kitchen.
 Rosita grinned and bent down to kiss Patton’s cheeks, the usual greeting she gives loved ones. Patton giggled and held onto her arms as she went “Mwah!” with the two kisses. She then bent down and did the same to Logan. His face went red as Roman’s varsity jacket, but he sat still and allowed her to do so, because he honestly didn’t hate it. He’s never had any form of parental love and he once admitted he liked the affection the mothers gave him.
 “I’m so glad you both are here today. Our first dinner as a whole family!” Rosita cheerily said.
 Roman grinned at his loves. They looked happy. Things were normal. This family was normal.
 “Well hello my dears. Patton, thank you for making dessert.” Virgil’s mother, Ginerva said as she too entered the living room, holding two rather thick books in her hands.
“It’s no problem! I love baking! Plus, a meal isn’t complete without a sweet!” Patton said.
 Ginerva smiled. Then she held up the book with a mischievous glint in her eye.
 “Would you like to see some baby pictures after dinner?” she asked.
“Oh my gosh YES!” Patton squealed.
“Absolutely.” Logan agreed, his own grin on his face.
 Roman gulped.
 Maybe this was a horrible idea.
———-
 “Going to the sex store~ We’re going to the sex store~” Remus sang, unashamed as they walked through the mall.
 People glared at them as Remus walked next to Deceit, arms swinging back and forth happily. Deceit has once thought maybe he should stop Remus. Here’s the thing though.
 He didn’t give a fuck.
 These poor bastards can deal with Remus happily singing the lewdest things for a small portion of their lives, even if they weren’t going to the sex store.
 A mother gasped, offended and covered her child’s ears.
 “Shame on you!” she shrilled.
 Deceit flipped her off with both of his hands while Remus held his index finger and middle finger in a V formation in front of his mouth, wiggling his tongue in between the fingers with a wicked grin. The mother shrieked in horror.
 Deceit laughed as they left her. However, Remus grabbed his wrist and yanked him back to where Remus was.
 “I want that.” Remus said, pointing into an arcade.
 Inside the arcade was a claw machine with many stuffed animals. On top of the animal pile was a plush green octopus with tiny black eyes.
 “I’m not wasting my money on a rigged game,” Deceit said.
“But Deeeeeeee!” Remus whined.
“that’s why I’m not going to.” Deceit continued, holding up a wallet that totally was his.
 Remus grinned widely and held Deceit’s hand as they planned to spend every pound of an asshole’s money.
————
 Dinner was good, as usual. Virgil was a phenomenal cook and every dish he made was some of the best Roman’s had (he wont tell mama that though). He blushed as they complimented him.
 “This is yummy! What is this called again?” Patton asked.
“Bucatini all’Amatriciana. It’s nothing.” Virgil replied, eyes averted and blush on cheeks.
“I have no idea how to pronounce that but I love it! Logan loves it! Roman does too!”
 Roman will deny he was shoveling the pasta into his mouth messily ‘til the day he dies. It never happened. No way. Thankfully he wasn’t the only messy eater in the family, for Missy was doing the same thing, but messier.
 “You did good. I’m proud of you.” Ginerva praised with a soft smile.
“Whatever.” Virgil said, faint smile on his face at his mother’s praise.
 “So how is the wedding coming along?” Rosita asked with a smile. “We found a venue. It has a garden area that looked rather appealing to us so we’re planning the ceremony will be there. The reception will be inside.” Logan found himself effortlessly saying to Rosita.
  Roman was so proud of him and judging by Virgil and Patton’s smiles they felt the same.
 Imaj smiled, looking a bit excited at all this wedding talk.
 “I like gardens. They’re quiet and yet they’re lively.” He said, his approval and delight making the four men internally sigh in relief.
“Fuck gardens.” Missy grumbled as she stuffed pasta in her mouth.
“Marietta Ursa Petrov, you will not swear at this table. Do it again and you’ll be grounded.” Ginerva warned sternly
 Missy huffed but nodded, shoving more pasta to get everyone’s eyes off her. Ginerva turned to Virgil with stern eyes as well.
 “You too Mister. I know what a mouth you have.” “Yes mom.”
 Roman snickered at the scolding.
 “Oh! Remy got us measured for our wedding outfits a few weeks ago!” Patton cheerily said, changing the topic.
“Im so jealous of you boys. Friends with a famous fashion designer and won’t even get me a dress.” Rosita teased.
 Roman chuckled.
 “Mama he’d freak if he got to make you something. He’s our very own Edna Mode.” He said.
“Good to know! He better not hit me with a rolled-up newspaper or have heavy security in his studio.”
 Yeah dinner was nice, but afterwards was downright embarrassing. You see, Roman was convinced Miss Ginerva forgot about the baby pictures. He was so wrong.
 Logan and Patton sat on both sides of Ginerva as she pointed to pictures. “-on that Halloween I tried to get Virgil to be a cat or a witch or even Wednesday Addams. Whenever I’d propose an idea, he’d pout. He insisted he wanted to be Elton John for that Halloween, specifically Elton in the Im Still Standing video.”
 And for sure there was a picture of a small Virgil standing next to Roman, who was dressed as Hercules from Disney’s Hercules in Elton’s iconic outfit. On the other side of Virgil was a kid dressed as a garbage can who looked almost exactly like Roman.
 As embarrassed as he was, Roman smiled to see the picture of Remus, back when the three of them were the best of friends. Innocent.
 “Oh, and this picture didn’t turn out the way we wanted it. Rosita sneezed so the boys started crying.”
“I’ve said I’m sorry at least once a year since then Ginerva! Get over it!” Patton giggled at the picture of Virgil in the middle of Roman and Remus in a purple onesie crying. Roman was in a red striped overalls outfit sitting up and crying just as hard. Remus was in the same outfit but green and he fell back as he cried. It was adorable.
 “Mom please stop.” Virgil weakly pleaded, hood pulled over his face.
“Hush. They need to see these.” Ginerva said with a laugh.
They avoided pictures of Virgil’s father, who just up and left one day to go back home to Russia without a word. A slightly angry aura surrounded her, but she pushed on.
 “Oh, this is Rosita’s favorite!” Ginerva pointed out.
“Is it the play time one? Oh my goodness I love that one so much! Their chubby cheeks and tiny hands aaah!” Rosita squealed with a grin, getting up from the armchair and hurrying over.
“Mama stoooop.” Roman groaned.
 Logan gave Roman a look that suggested yes, this was indeed blackmail material. Roman flipped him off, only to be whapped lightly from his mother.
Damn you Logan.
 The photo had a “castle” made from cardboard boxes. Inside the castle was a grumpy, if not bored looking Virgil with a plastic princess tiara on his head and a bright pink princess dress over his black sweater. Roman had a plastic crown and pointed a foam sword at Remus, who had devil horns and fairy wings on. That was the closest they could get to a dragon.
 Rosita smiled wide, but it held a small bit of sadness. Roman knows, cause he feels the same way.
 “Ugh this one?” Virgil grumbled, looking over.
“You guys are adorable! I love your princess costume!” Patton cooed. “It was Roman’s.”
Roman laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.
 “CUUUUUTE!”
 Rosita was telling the story about that day, but Roman found he wasn’t listening. He just stared at Remus in the photo, his grin wide and his hands bared like claws. His eyes filled with his usual mischief. He always wanted to be the villain or the monster. He remembered a time when Remus built a city out of blocks and toy cars and proceeded to stomp through it and making monster sounds, making Roman laugh at his brother’s silliness as he altered between making noises or pretending to be the shrill voice citizens of the town either being afraid or just saying the weirdest thing like “Dang it I left my pudding at home and now my pants are on fire!”.
Memories came rushing. The times they tried to do a secret handshake but could never remember the steps. The times they slept over at Virgil’s home with red and green matching pajamas and sleeping bags. The times they’d fight over the last homemade churro and forced to split it and apologize. When Remus would come to him when he had horrible nightmares of terrible actions his mind told him to do and he’d cry while hugging Roman tightly, who would cry cause his twin was sad. The gap-toothed grin Remus would give him as they planned to do some mischief and even sometimes dragging Virgil into it. Their red and green “brothership” bracelets they wore until they broke.
 “Im going to the bathroom. Don’t start dessert without me!” Roman suddenly blurted out, leaving the room and rushing quickly up the steps to the upstairs bathroom farthest away from the stairs.
 He locked the door and turned the fan on. He let out a shuddered gasp and pressed his back against the wall.
“You’re fine Roman. You’re fine. You’re with your family, your loves are enjoying themselves. Don’t ruin this for them. You’re fine.”
 Suddenly a sob escaped his lips. He couldn’t stop it. Oh god he was a horrible person. A fraud.
 He was the one that abandoned the other two members of their little musketeer group just for some ill-deserved attention by horrible people.
He was the one who pushed his brother away, insulting him and ignoring him when Remus didn’t understand what he did wrong.
He was the reason Remus was gone, never able to attend his wedding, to see his loves or be part of their growing family and instead out there doing who knows what. Was he even still alive?
His loves had poor choice in men, since they were marrying him.
His mother was a fool to love him because he was a horrible son.
 His fault.
His fault!
 A knock interrupted his thoughts.
 “Hijo I know you’re in there.”
 It was his mom.
 “I’m fi-“
“Open the door Roman.” She said, usual sass or warmth in her voice gone.
 Roman gulped and unlocked the door. He opened it for his mother to come in. She stepped inside and locked the door behind her.
 “Roman, my sweet baby.” She cooed comfortingly and cupped his face, which was wet with tears. “Lo siento mama. Lo siento!” he sobbed, burying his face in her shoulder.’
 She stroked his hair as he sobbed and shushed him softly. He gripped her white blouse and sobbed, feeling like a child again, guilty for doing something wrong.
 “Lo siento. I’m sorry! I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for turning those pictures into sad memories!” he cried.
 It felt like a million eyes were glaring at him, a phantom hand was gripping his throat. Harsh voices whispered his guilt over and over and over until he was dizzy.
 “Hijo it’s not your fault.” She whispered.
“But mama it is! I’m the reason he’s gone! I’m the reason family dinners feel so empty! I’m the reason I split our family apart!”
“Roman.”
 Rosita’s stern voice made him push back to look at her. Her green eyes stared into his blue ones, filled with tears, but held a strong determination and a love he could never comprehend.
 “Roman, it’s not your fault. Yes, you’ve made some mistakes, but it’s not your fault.” She said firmly, wiping his tears away with her thumbs.
She sighed shakily and frowned, which was never a good look on his usually happy mother.
 “It’s mine.” “Mama how could y-“ “It’s mine because I didn’t do anything. I didn’t guide you to make better decisions back then, like a mother should.”
 Roman’s lip wobbled, god he was an ugly crier.
 “It’s my fault that I was so focused on fixing Remus because I was scared for him that I didn’t even think about how he felt or wanted. Yes, your brother’s actions were troubling, deeply so, but I did nothing to help him. I did nothing to understand or support him. And now, its my fault for having you endure so much guilt.”
 It was quiet for a bit. Too quiet.
 “You may never stop feeling that guilt, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry you carried this with you for so long. But honey, I’m so proud of you!” Rosita said with a wobbly grin.
“What?” Roman shakily asked.
“I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself and making a change. I’m proud of you for making things right with Virgil. I’m proud of you for being such a hard worker, and an amazing dreamer. I’m so proud of you for being a kind and determined man who puts everything into what he does.”
“And honey, I’m proud of you for being a good lover. For being true to yourself even though its scary. I’m proud of you for saving Patton from those god-awful people and supporting Logan during this dinner cause I know he was nervous. I’m proud that you and Virgil and Patton and Logan love each other so much. That despite polyamorous marriage not being legal here, you all said fuck it, cause love conquers everything.”
 Roman whimpered before sobbing again. He may never get over the guilt, but with time he can move on. He was so fortunate to have people who he loves with all his heart, and they love him with theirs. He had the best family and the best friends, even if it was hard to see that at times.
 He had the best mother.
————
“Why don’t we break it?” “Remus we need to remain as anonymous as we can.” “Boo!” “Do you want this octopus or not?”
 It was their last dollar out of like, three hundred. They took a break ‘cause they got hungry, but they came right back. Remus watched, eyes looking between the claw of the machine game and his love’s concentrated and yet frustrated face. He looked like he was about to scream “YOU LOSE! Good DAY SIR!” in a shrill tone.  The claw once again picked up the green octopus. Its floppy tentacles hang limp as the claw started to slowly move over to the little dispenser chute. It suddenly slipped through the claw’s metal arms.
 “NO!” they both almost screamed.
 Ah, but a miracle has happened! One of the octopus’s tentacles was caught on the claw! The claw moved over the chute and dropped the plushie down into it. “YEAH!” Remus cheered, hearing a startled yelp from someone.
—————
Roman came down with his mom, face clean and no longer blotchy. He smiled as he saw his family still sitting downstairs. They turned to him and Patton grinned, looking relieved. Logan and Virgil just stared at him like he had done something stupid.
 “Dude I can’t believe you got your hand stuck in the faucet drain. What were you doing?” Virgil asked.
 Roman turned to Rosita, who grinned. Oh, his mom made up an excuse to check on him, which was nice, but still that’s embarrassing. He came up with a lie to not seem like too much of an idiot.
 “I was washing my hands when one of mama’s earrings she left by the sink went down the drain! I had to rescue it! It was her favorite pair!”
“Well now that you rescued the earring, we were gonna have brownies and watch Frozen 2! Interested?” Patton proposed.
“Definitely!”
 Roman felt so much better. He sat down on the couch with Virgil pressed against his side and Logan’s head on his shoulder. Patton came back with brownies for everyone and gave Roman a peck on the lips as he gave Roman his treat. Rosita and Ginerva argued over how Disney Plus worked, only for Logan to instruct them carefully. As Ginerva got the movie set up, Imaj sat down on the floor with his knees drawn up in between Patton and Virgil, happily nibbling on his brownie. Missy walked over and crawled into Roman’s lap, still looking irritated, but there was a shy plush on her face. He decided not to say anything and just ruffled her hair. She smiled a bit at that. Then, she grinned a mischievous grin that reminded him of when Virgil jump scared them as a vampire last Christmas and..someone he used to know.
 “I hope Olaf dies.” She said.
 Patton and Rosita gasped in horror as Virgil laughed loudly.
———-
 “What are you going to name it?” Deceit asked Remus.
 Remus looked at the cute octopus in his hands.
 “Can Mr. Squishyboo join your tea party Roman?”
“Yeah, but he can’t poison the tea this time! Ms. Fluffybottom got sick last time!” “Fiiine. Then you can’t call him a squid. He’s an octopus!”
 Remus smiled softly down at the octopus’s happy little face.
 “Squishyboo jr.” he said.
“Oh thank god. I thought you were going to name it hentai.” Deceit sighed.
“Oh! His full name is Squishyboo jr Hentai Lokir!” Remus laughed loudly.
“Do not use my last name for your stuffed animal.” Deceit huffed.
 Remus giggled and kissed his love’s forehead. They walked hand in hand out of the arcade, past Pac-man games and children giggling and playing ski-ball. They were near the entrance when a man with a pink Sailor Moon T-shirt stopped them for a moment.
 “Oh my stars I love your Invader Zim crop top sir!” he said, Irish accent prominent.
“Thank you! I love your anime titty lady!” Remus greeted back as they left, Deceit snickering and squeezing his hand with affection.
——-
 The man just blinked for a moment before noticing his phone was ringing. He smiled and answered it.
 “Heeeey babe! How’s your like, family reunion going?” a voice spoke from the other end.
“ ‘ello Remy. Its going fine! Mum, Mama and Dad want you to come next year!”
“Maybe I will go. Like, making wedding stuff is okay, but like, when its for your friends, it sucks. Like, I know im the best bitch in this business, but it has to be so perfect they cry.”
“You are the best Remy. They wouldn’t ask you if you weren’t”
 A laugh on the other end.
 “This is why I love you Emile, my little piece of Picani pie.”
 Emile Picani giggled.
 “So, what are you doing now?”
“I’m about to set a high score on the DDR machine. I saw they had some Miku songs and I wanted to try them!”
“Fuck yeah Miku. Hey, face time me so I can see you like, totally shame on everyone’s scores.”
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winchesterxxi · 4 years ago
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hi!! congrats on 1k, that is AMAZING! can I do a ship request??
i’m a 5’9 female with hazel/green eyes and brown-blonde hair, and I have a layer of teal dye underneath. I’m a little heavier, and I have annoyingly large titties and shoulders lol (dorito built, as my friends say). I love writing, especially fanfic, but I love anything fiction. I’m a sucker for romance, which is part of why I love fanfic so much, and I’m a hopeless romantic. I develop crushes instantly and then don’t know how to act around the object of my affections (I’m bisexual so it can go any way lol)
I’m a total geek! Star Wars is my comfort media and I love marvel, doctor who, and other geeky shit too. I am a coffee addict, and I work at a coffee shop so it only fuels my bad habits. I drink a LOT of coffee in a day (I had 4 iced lattes yesterday) and because of that, I’m really energetic. I’ve had struggles with mental health in the past (depression and anxiety) but because of that I’m a really great shoulder to cry on and have been told I give wonderful advice. I’m a mom friend! I am super touchy and lovey and give tons of hugs. I love cuddling (my dog is my baby and she cuddles with me all the time) so it’s pretty clear my love language is physical touch, and I also need lots of reassurance so words of affirmation is up there too. I love being creative so writing is my favorite thing ever and I adore stories. I love true crime too, I listen to a lot of podcasts about murder tbh. I love to eat and cook, and I’m a fantastic baker (currently have raspberry chocolate chip bread in the oven). I love alt and rock music, and my favorites include Elton John, Cage the Elephant, and the 1975.
that’s a lot of detail, sorry!! thanks so much and congrats again!! lots of love ur way <3
I ship you with Marcus Pike!
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Give this man some love, will you? He finds in you an escape from the hectic and strict life at work, both of you being hopeless romantics and just being completely enamored in each other.
You love writing? He is going to beg you to read it, fanfiction or not, this man will, without a doubt want to consume any piece of art you create and be involved in any hobby you might have. He’ll probably lay against your chest and use your boobs as a comfortable pillow (he loves them for real) while he scrolls down on his iPad, reading your newest piece.
As I mentioned he wants to be involved in any hobby you might have, which brings me to marathons upon marathons of your favorite films and tv shows on the weekends, listening to true crime podcasts before bed (which he thinks to be a bit morbid to have as a bedtime activity), playing loud music in the living room and dancing together.
On Sunday afternoons, you both tend to experiment with new baking recipes you’ve come across during the week and it’s exactly during these calm times that you learn about each other: he tells you all about his past demons, mistakes and regrets, while you let him in on your past struggles as well, finding in each other a comforting shoulder.
FROM THE 1K CELEBRATION WEEK
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let-it-raines · 5 years ago
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another kind of green (3/?)
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Emma Swan spends her days in pretty white dresses and heavy layers of makeup. Day after day and dress after dress, she poses for pictures and acts like she’s in love and having the happiest day of her life with the man standing next to her.
It’s not. This is all a gig, and at the end of the day, she’s no longer the girl in the pretty dress who’s faking getting married for a magazine cover or a wedding convention. Instead, she’s the girl who probably never wants to get married.
Little does she know, she already is.
Rating: Mature
a/n: for @xemmaloveskillianx​ as her gift for my giveaway ❤️ 
AO3: Beginning | Current
Tumblr: 1 | 2| 3 |
-/-
“Emma, do you want a salad with your steak?”
“Do I want it? No. Should I have it? Probably.”
Mary Margaret laughs at her and then turns to start cutting up some more lettuce. Emma always feels horrible whenever she comes over to the Nolans and they cook for her. She offers to help, but they all know they’re better off if she stays far away from the kitchen. One time she put the rolls in the oven, forgot about them, nearly burned the apartment down, and they haven’t let her near the oven – or stove for that matter - since.
She can definitely cook rolls. That was an accident.
“So,” Mary Margaret begins, “how did your dress fittings go yesterday? Did you like the dresses?”
“There was so much lace, Marg. Like, I have never seen so much in one day. It’s obviously going to be a trend next summer.”
“Yeah? I’ve always loved a lace wedding dress. You know, my dress was – ”
“A strapless, fitted dress that was a mermaid style and overlaid with lace. I know.”
Mary Margaret rolls her eyes and holds her knife up at Emma. “I may be a sweetheart of a human being, but I know how to defend myself.”
“Is that a threat?”
“You bet your ass it is.”
Emma scoffs and rises from the barstool the pour herself a glass of wine. “Is Ruby coming tonight?”
“She’s got a date with Mulan tonight before she goes to New York for two weeks for a few shoots.”
“What? They didn’t want to spend a romantic evening with you, me, and David?”
“You know, believe it or not, I don’t think the two of them think we’re a great time.”
Emma mock gasps. “Shocker.”
“Okay, ladies,” David sing-songs as he walks back into the apartment from where he’s been up on the rooftop grilling in his ridiculous apron, “I come with your steaks grilled to perfection, and I won’t hear a word otherwise.”
The three of them sit down around the small table in the corner of the Nolan’s apartment and eat their steaks, which are grilled to perfection actually, and share about their days. Mary Margaret only did paperwork from home today while David had a particularly difficult new police officer that isn’t quite catching onto the rules, which isn’t great when they had him out on patrol. Being a Lieutenant obviously isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be for David, but Emma knows he’d never want to be anything else.
“Hey, speaking of that, how strict is the background check part of becoming a cop?”
Both of them stop eating, the metal of their forks and knives clanking against the porcelain of their plates, and blink at her.
“Emma,” David hesitates, picking up a napkin to wipe his mouth, “you know you can’t. I mean, I would love for you to but – ”
“No, no, no,” Emma interrupts, raising her hands, “not for me. I don’t…you know I know I don’t want to be a cop, right? Like, super thankful for you, but with my history, I’m not touching that with a ten-foot pole.”
David sighs. “I still hate how much of your life that bastard has fucked up. You should have so many more opportunities for what you want to do with your life.”
“I don’t want to deal with that. I just…ugh.”
If she buries her face in her hands and groans all night, she doesn’t have to tell them this, right? There’s no need for her to share what has to be one of the stupidest decisions she’s ever made. She can hoard that little secret forever and no one has to know what she apparently did while drunk off her ass in Las Vegas like the biggest cliché in the world.
Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifianakis have nothing on her. Except for maybe the tiger and missing teeth and all that.
“Emma? Are you okay, sweetheart?”
“I’m fine,” Emma mumbles, not meaning it. “Igotmarried.”
“What?”
“What do you mean you got married?”
“Married?” David shouts before coughing and having to hit his chest. “What do you mean you got married? Who did you marry? I didn’t know you were seeing someone!”
“I’m not,” Emma explains, wanting to die a little inside. “Remember when we went to Vegas for that weird convention thing last month?”
“Yeah,” Mary Margaret answers while David continues to drill lasers into her head. You’d think he was her father and not her friend. “What about it?”
“Well, the guy who played the groom and I…spent the night together.” That gets her a groan from the both of them. She knows. She gets it. They’re not fans of her spending nights with men she doesn’t know, but she can handle herself. “And then we decided to drink too much instead of parting ways and somehow, we ended up at a chapel and got married. Legitimately. I checked. Our license is online and everything.”
She lets the two of them have their freak out for the next ten minutes or so. Mary Margaret never stops asking questions while David keeps muttering curses under his breath and seems not to have a fully functioning brain. It’s a lot to comprehend. She understands. She spent her entire day yesterday trying to figure out how this happened and what she was going to do about it.
Get it annulled, obviously.
Killian mentioned that, and when she got home after her fittings yesterday, she looked it up and made sure they qualified – the both of them not being in their right mind definitely qualifies them for an annulment. Killian probably had whiskey dick or something after the marriage, so she’s guessing they didn’t have sex afterward either. Before, yes. That’s a definite. After, nope. And apparently not consummating the marriage is still a legal reason for annulment in most states.
“How did you find out about this?” David finally asks when his brain starts working again.
“Killian found me yesterday and told me. He’s trying to become a cop in the A-1 district, funnily enough, which is why I asked about the background check thing. He was having his done when they came upon our marriage, which he didn’t tell them about…obviously.”
“You can’t say you don’t have a type.”
Emma flicks a piece of lettuce at Mary Margaret. “Remember how you threatened me with that knife earlier?”
“What?” David screeches, hands slamming against the table. They’re going to cause him to have an aneurism.
“Nothing, honey. So what are you two going to do about this marriage?”
“We’re going to get an annulment. He’s supposed to text me on when I have to go down to the station to talk to his recruiting officer about the whole situation, which I’m sure won’t really help his case, and then we’re going to find a lawyer or figure out how to do the paperwork ourselves.”
“And you’re okay dealing with a lawyer again?”
“I mean, I’d rather not, but all of the paperwork online looked…confusing. I don’t know. I’m not sure what exactly we’re going to do. I haven’t really processed it all. I still think I’m going to blink and it’s all going to be a dream.”
“Shit, Emma,” David sighs, the beginnings of a chuckle creeping into his voice, “you got married.”
Emma chunks her a throw pillow at him.
After the Nolans have finished interrogating her, but mostly laughing at her for this situation she’s ended up in, she tells them she’ll talk to them later but she’s going home. This has exhausted her, and she wants to sleep. As soon as she walks in her front door, she throws her keys on the entryway table where the envelope of her wedding pictures are still sitting, kicks off her shoes, and reaches under her shirt to take her bra off with all of the sweet, sweet relief that comes with that.
Her apartment is messy enough that it needs to be cleaned, but it’s a quarter until ten, and no one but her is going to see this place. Cleaning isn’t a priority.
Then again, when is it ever for her?
She’s not a slob by any means, but she’s not going to die if there are some clothes on the floor and a dish in the sink.
Sighing, she walks toward her couch and plops down onto the soft cushions, wondering if she’s going to fall asleep before she has the time to watch an episode of Downton Abbey, her newest mindless television show that most of the world has already seen. Emma’s turning on her TV when her phone buzzes in her hands.
Unknown number: Can you meet tomorrow?
Emma Swan: That entirely depends on who this is.
Unknown number: Killian Jones.
“Oh shit,” Emma mumbles under her breath. She was expecting to hear from him, but she’d almost forgotten in the last hour that she had this situation to deal with. She spent the whole night talking about him, but for a little while, she allowed herself to forget.
Emma Swan: I can meet tomorrow. What time? At the station?
Killian Jones: Does 1:00 PM work for you?
Emma Swan: That’s fine.
Killian Jones: See you tomorrow, love.
-/-
It’s been three years since Emma’s been in front of this police station. Three years, give or take a few weeks, but nothing about it has changed. Same red doors that need painting and same grimy concrete steps that do not make it an inviting prospect no matter your reason to go inside. Then again, who really wants to go to a police station? That’s not exactly what someone would consider fun.
Emma doesn’t exactly consider this fun.
The wine she had last night helped ease her into sleep, but this morning when her alarm went off to very annoyingly yell at her to go to the gym, all of her anxiety over having to be here today came back in full force that she channeled into her hour-long run on a treadmill that made too much noise. She should have taken a Pilates class or something instead. That way she wouldn’t have had to listen to the groan of the treadmill and would have had the voice of the instructor to distract her.
(Mulan always kicks her ass.)
God, why are police stations the absolute worst?
“Are you always so jumpy?”
Emma stumbles over her own feet with her jump, and Killian’s chuckle does not amuse her, not at all.
“Point proven,” he continues, swaggering up to her and down the rest of the steps that lead to the entrance. He’s got on a leather jacket despite it being sweltering out here, and she has no idea how he’s not sweating. She was sweating simply putting her bra on this morning. “It’s a pleasure to see you, love.”
“Did I not tell you not to call me that?”
“I don’t believe you did.”
“Well, I’m not your love, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me as such.”
Killian bows – he freaking bows – and rolls his hand in circles in front of her. “As you wish, Swan.”
He’s a cocky son of a bitch, isn’t he?
“So,” Emma starts, taking a deep breath, “what do you need me to do in here exactly?”
“Tell the truth. It doesn’t exactly make me look too great to have gotten drunk enough to get married in Vegas while on a job, which I’m sure will be a reason to have my ass handed to me on many occasions, but I need you to tell the truth and explain that I honestly did not realize I had a better half.”
“Fine. Sounds simple enough.”
Killian nods, his lips pressed into a tight smile, before he opens up the door to that station for her.
“What? Are you a gentleman or something?”
“I’m always a gentleman, Swan.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
On instinct, Emma walks into the station and starts walking past the front desk like she still has access to the place, but she quickly holds herself back and stops, stepping backward and hoping that no one noticed her. When she sees Killian’s raised brows, she knows that he did. Dammit.
“Hello, Marlene,” Killian drawls out, laying on the charm a little too thick for whoever the new officer at the desk is. “I’m here for a meeting with Captain Roberts.”
“Is everything alright? I thought the tests for our new officers weren’t until next month.”
“Everything is just fine, love. He simply wanted to meet my lovely wife.”
Oh, son of a bitch. Why would he say that?
“You’re married?” Marlene gasps, eyes full of murder glancing over at Emma. Homegirl is plotting out ways to get rid of Emma’s body right now, and if she gets murdered, she is coming back to life to murder Killian. He’s probably met this woman two or three times in his life, and he’s already got her wrapped around his finger. What must it be like to be able to charm someone like that?
“It’s new. Roberts has heard me talking so much about her, and he’d love to meet her, aye?”
“Uh, o-okay,” Marlene stutters, her jaw still dropped open. “Let me ring him, and I’ll let you back.”
“Thank you, lass.”
Killian turns back toward Emma, waggling his brows and then winking, and she has absolutely no idea how this is the man, of all the men in the world, that she accidentally married.
What a sentence.
“Do you always use your looks to get what you want?”
“Are you saying I have the looks to be able to do that?”
“I do not have to do you this favor.”
“True,” he sighs, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She almost shrugs him off, but then she sees Marlene looking at them again. “You’re doing me a kindness I don’t deserve.”
“Yeah, well, it takes two drunk idiots to get married.”
Killian quietly snorts underneath his breath while there’s a buzzing sound coming from the other end of the station with two doors opening and a group of cops walking out the door. She doesn’t think anything of it, doesn’t pay any attention, until she sees familiar brown hair and the same boots that he wore every single day.
Why the hell could Marlene not have gotten them inside any quicker? She was probably staring at Killian’s ass too much to put in the call quick enough. For a moment, Emma almost turns to Killian and asks him to do something dumb like kiss her so he can’t see her face, but she knows it’s too late. Besides, all two people making out in a police station will do is bring more attention to them.
Shit.
“Emma?”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Killian’s arm tightens around her shoulder, and she can feel him taking everyone in as they walk by.
“Hi, Graham,” Emma sighs, forcing her smile. “How are you?”
He mumbles something to the other cops, guys she recognizes but can’t put a name to at the moment, and they keep walking while he stops right in front of them, taking in she and Killian and Killian’s arm wrapped around her shoulder.
“I’m good.” His smile is genuine, and she really doesn’t need him to be a good guy right now. But he will be. Of course he will be. “How about you? What are you doing here?”
“I, uh, well…it’s a funny story, you know. I – ”
“She’s the wife of one of new prospective officers,” Marlene, like the helpful soul she is, tells Graham. Killian barely manages to stifle his snort.
Graham’s brows nearly hit his hairline. “Is that so?”
“Killian Jones.” Killian sticks his hand out to shake Graham’s, the veins in both of their forearms popping out the slightest bit, and if a sink hole wanted to come and swallow her whole right now, she wouldn’t say no to that. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Detective.”
“Same to you. Where are you in your application?”
“I have the PAT scheduled for a few weeks from now after I finish all of my medical exams.”
“Well, let me know if you need anything. A friend of Emma’s is certainly a friend of mine.” Graham nods at her then, that same genuine smile still there. “I’d love to catch up soon, if you’d like.”
Killian’s arm feels like one thousand pounds on her shoulders. “Yeah, Graham, that’d be nice.”
“Good.”
As Graham walks away, Killian turns to say something to her, his mouth gaping, but he doesn’t get a chance to before Marlene is telling them to go upstairs to talk to Killian’s Captain…or almost Captain. She’s really not sure how all of that works. On the entire walk through the double doors and up the elevator, she can tell that Killian is practically vibrating out of his skin to ask her about whatever just happened, but he seems to have enough human decency not to do that.
Or maybe he’s terrified that she won’t go along and tell his Captain that he didn’t lie and this isn’t really a big deal. Though, he seems to have no issue telling other people in the station that he’s married.
If she ever does meet up with Graham again, which she probably won’t, she has no idea how to explain this to him. Then again, why the hell is she wondering how to explain to her ex-boyfriend that she’s married but she’s not really married and he probably shouldn’t beat himself up over the fact that she committed to someone else but not him even though he’s a really nice guy.
She really screwed him over, and Emma still hates herself for that. It’s just…she wasn’t ready.
This should really not be her focus right now, especially as she puts on that fake smile again and relays information to Captain Roberts about her and about Killian and about how they got into this whole mess. Killian getting drunk enough to not remember getting married is not a good look, but his Captain seems to understand. It’s awkward as hell, and she’d very much like to get this entire day and situation over with, but it drags on for at least an hour, going a little longer when he and Killian start talking about the football game last night. It takes her five minutes to figure out they’re actually talking about soccer. Who decided that America needed a different name for that sport than the rest of the world?
But eventually it’s over, which is a huge sigh of relief, and Emma is so damn ready to get out of this station and move on with her life.
“Thank you for that, Swan,” Killian says as they step out of the station and walk up the stairs, cars speeding by and the cranes of the nearby construction whirring so loudly it’s the only noises she can hear. “Can I buy you a coffee or something in thanks?”
She almost says no. she really does. That whole thing was draining, but a coffee sounds so damn good right now. “I like anything with hazelnut.”
“I can handle that.”
-/-
“So, how do you know Humbert? He’s how you knew where the precinct was, aye?”
“How do you know his last name? He didn’t introduce himself.”
“It was on his uniform.”
“Ah,” Emma sighs as she sips on her coffee. She doesn’t know what exactly it is that Killian bought her, but it’s fantastic…and much better than whatever gross thing he’s drinking. There’s no sugar or milk or creamer in there, and she doesn’t understand how anyone does that.
“I’m quite perceptive, darling.”
“I’m picking up on that.”
“And I’m guessing Detective Humbert is some kind of former lover. I’m not sure what exactly the relationship was.”
“I really don’t think that’s any of your business.”
Killian raises his hands. “I understand. It’s just that I quite fancy you from time to time when you’re not yelling at me asking how the hell we ended up getting married in Vegas. All I wanted to do was get to know you a bit.”
Emma huffs and flicks a sugar packet over at Killian. “You are full of yourself sometimes.”
He shrugs. “It happens.”
“And no offense, but I’m not entirely interested in getting to know your deep, dark secrets. What I am interested in, however, is figuring out how to get this marriage annulled. So why don’t we do that?”
“Discussing my divorce over a cup of coffee in a public café has always been a dream of mine.”
“Annulment, not divorce.”
“Touché, love,” Killian sighs, furrowing his brows as his lips curl into a smirk that has her stomach doing that fluttering thing that she is most definitely ignoring. “Touché.”
He flicks the packet of sugar right back at her.
Killian’s not going to make this easy, is he? At least she’s going to get a free coffee out of it.
-/-
-/-
Tag list: @xemmaloveskillianx​ @stahlop @shardminds @carpedzem @captainsjedi  @galaxyzxstark @thejollyroger-writer @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @xellewoods @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @shireness-says @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @a-faekindagirl @ultimiflos @jamif @dreameronarooftop15 @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke  @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @teamhook @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog @superchocovian @ultraluckycatnd @cs-forlife @andiirivera @qualitycoffeethings @jonirobinson64 @mariakov81 @spartanguard @snowbellewells @therealstartraveller776​ @onepunintendid​ @bluewildcatfanatic​
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ubernoxa · 5 years ago
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The Dare: A Guns N’ Roses FanFic
Chapter 23: You’re an Idiot
Taglist @queen-crue @gingerspicetalks
(Masterlist)
It was a long night to say the least, and Duff counted himself lucky that Delilah, despite her inebriated state, was currently talking to Mags trying to calm her down. It was actually more of Mags talking and Delilah just sitting there listening to her saying I’m sorry or you’re fine every once and a while. Duff wondered how much of what Mags was saying Delilah actually understood in his inebriated state. It was still a sweet notion none the less.
Duff sat in the living room bored out of his damn mind trying to pass the time. He wondered if Axl was right, maybe Mags was more trouble than she was worth. It was only a matter of time until he fell asleep on the couch.
He awoke to giggling coming from the kitchen. From the sun, it must have been no later than 1 in the afternoon. It was then he noticed the blanket that was placed on top of him and the pillow that had fallen on the floor. There was a glass of water and a banana to eat on the side table. He smiled at the thought of Delilah.
“Yeah, but I really think I need to get a job,” Delilah sighed as she leaned against the fridge.
“You don’t need a job, you’re fine. Plus you take care of the guys which is technically a full time job,” Mags sweetly replied.
“Maaags, I’m leaching off of everyone. I don’t pay for the food,” Delilah sighed as she pulled something out of the oven. They had spent the past couple hours preparing and cooking chicken.
“Who made the guys’ banner,” Mags crosses her arms absolutely done with Del’s stubbornness.
“Me,” Delilah sighed as she answered Mag’s question knowing all too well that she was only helping Mag’s point.
“Who did Axl ask to make their posters for the next gig?”
Delilah groaned at Mag’s question, refusing to answer it.
“Morning bitches,” Duff turned around to see an unfamiliar face enter Mag’s apartment.
“Your brother’s band made a trash magazine and Heads up blondie is up,” she said before tossing the magazine towards Mags and slamming the doors closed.
“Morning blondie,” Delilah yelled across the apartment before turning her attention towards the magazine.
“How did they get this printed so fast?” Delilah quickly pulled her attention to the magazine.
By now Duff had lazily walked into the kitchen, the promise of food filling his nose.
“Awww that’s a cute photo,” Mags pointed to a picture of Delilah and Duff.
“You look good in my sunglasses,” Duff wrapped his arms around Delilah as he spoke.
“Can I have this magazine when you’re done with it?” Duff asked as they continued to look through the others. He loved the picture of him and Delilah. It was the one where she was sticking her tongue out at him before yesterday’s show. Delilah continued to point out and compliment Duff in every photo she could find of him. It was a classic game of where’s Waldo for the girl, but instead of Waldo she was searching for a blonde giraffe.
“Hey bitch, can I have this?” Mags telled making Delilah jump.
“Yeah, I’m done with it,” a voice from behind a closed door yelled back.
“Yeah, be my guest,” Mags said bringing her attention back to the food that was now cooling down.
“Hey, I left some food on the counter for you,” Mags yelled across the apartment to her roommate.
“Thanks bitch,” her roommate sung before Duff and Delilah followed Mags out of the apartment.
“Bitch?” Duff whispered to Delilah earning a shrug from the girl.
“Thats all they call each other. To be honest I don’t know her actual name,” Delilah tried to hide a giggle as Duff wrapped his arm around Delilah’s waist guiding her out of the apartment.
Izzy took another sip from his bottle as he stared out the window.
“Where’s the food?” Izzy looked over towards Steven who was currently lying on his stomach on the ground.
Why? Who the fuck know? He was probably just hungry.
“You have definitely gotten used to Del, cooking for you every morning.......There’re coming,” Izzy pointed towards Duff, Delilah, and Mags as they walked into the shitty apartment.
“You were waiting for them? I’m glad I’m not the only one who was hungry as hell!” Steven exclaimed now sitting up.
“I’m not hungry, just need to talk to Duff about some stuff,” his words were sharper than he expected.
“Dude chill, is everything alright between you and Duff? I know things were tense with Axl, but if you need help or someone to talk to,” Izzy looked back towards Steven who now had Stef draped all over him.
“Yeah, yeah. We are fine. Just need to have a music talk with him. I have a couple rhythm things I want to talk to him about,” Izzy watched Steven as he spoke. Steven’s puppy dog smile slowly changed to a frown. He was the fucking drummer, why wouldn’t he be involved in rhythm conversations. Was he not good enough for them?
“I want him to try a weird bass line, and if he’s down, we will bring you in. I just don’t want to waste you time,” Izzy purposefully changed his tone as he spoke to the drummer. He didn’t mean to make him feel irrelevant. Izzy didn’t want to be like Axl, not in the slightest.
“Cool, I’m excited to hear it if it works out,” Steven cheerful demeanor returned.
Duff and Izzy locked eyes the moment he walked into the small apartment.
“I brought food!” Mags cheered as she walked into the guy’s apartment. It was a peace offering for what happened last night. Part of her was worried her brother would never talk to her again, but he smiled when she saw him.
“Thank god!” He cheered before grabbing the dish from his sister and bringing it into the kitchen.
“Hey, it’s gotta be warmed,” Delilah said running after Steven to make sure he doesn’t eat it cold. Her and Mags spent way to much time making it for him to eat it cold.
Izzy and Duff remained frozen, eyes locked.
“What?” Duff sent Izzy a confused look as he began to go to Delilah in the kitchen. Was he annoyed with how he spent the night at Delilah? Honestly it was only one night? Or was he more mad that he was hanging around Mags?
“My room, now,” Duff rolled his eyes at Izzy’s tone and followed him to his and Axl’s shared room.
Izzy slammed the door behind Duff as he entered.
“What the hell is your problem? Is this because I spent the night at Del’s? Oh great so you are on the same page as Axl about hanging with Mags. She is my girlfriend’s roommate. Kinda hard to stay away from her, plus Axl is being a big fucking hypocrite,” Duff made sure to keep his voice quiet as he talked to Izzy. The last he wanted was for Delilah, Mags, or Steven to hear him.
“Give me back the damn pills,” Izzy’s voice matched Duff, but he practically snapped as he spoke.
“Why?”
“You wanna ask why? How about why the fuck are you giving Del drugs?” Izzy had to be careful with every word he spoke. He never took Duff for an idiot, hell sometimes he thought that Duff might have had the best wits out of all of them. Right now he was being stupider than Axl.
Duff couldn’t help, but laugh at Izzy. “Seriously, this is what this is all about? It’s about drugs? Izzy you telling someone not to do drugs is the biggest pile of bullshit that I have ever heard!”
“I’m mad that you’re fucking up Delilah’s life even more,” Izzy stood up and got up in Duff’s face as he spoke, his voice barely louder than a whisper.
Duff froze for a second when he heard Izzy say ‘even more’.
“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!” Duff threw his arms up in the air and walked across the room.
“You think you’re helping her? Those pills are to help with your damn anxiety. I gave them to you so you could be not shit faced when we are in front of a crowd. Not for your girlfriend to get high off of,” Izzy sat back down on his poor excuse of a mattress.
“She was getting overwhelmed. So I gave her one, it’s not like I gave her coke or something worse! She needed the edge taken off. She has been off lately. I just wanted her to be happy,” Izzy was shocked in his band mates change in demeanor. He wasn’t mad, he sounded desperate.
“Her and I went to the bathroom to talk. She was off and she wouldn’t tell me what is wrong. I offered for us to head out and leave but she kept saying everything was fine. It wasn’t, so I gave her a pill. I watched her the entire night and she didn’t have a bad reaction. She was in a good mood again,” Duff was siting on Axl’s bed as he spoke. He rested his elbows on his thighs and buried his face in his hands.
Fuck, was all Izzy could think.
“She probably feeling guilty about some of the people she left behind,” Izzy took out a cigaret and offered one to Duff who quickly took it.
“I think she’s mad at me because we haven’t had sex,” Duff shrugged.
Izzy looked at Duff as if he had three heads. How fucking stupid could he be.
“Dude, you’re a fucking idiot,” Izzy replied, only seconds later he had to dodge a pair of Axl’s dirty underwear.
“Well we got interrupted only a couple hours before the party,” Duff shrugged again carefully watching Izzy incase he decided to throw Axl’s boxers back at him.
“I might be one of the only single guy who lives in this apartment, but she started acting weird after that photographer brought up her full name. Did you know that was her full name?”
Izzy’s tone was more blunt than it should have been, but he didn’t care.
“No, and I hate how you’re always fucking right,” Duff took another drag of his cigaret. Now that he thought about it, Delilah didn’t like how he brought up the fact that her name was a biblical one.
Izzy let a laugh escape him.
“She needs you, not the drugs,” Izzy added.
“How do you know about this shit? Like you said, you’re single,” Duff’s comment earned a laugh from Izzy.
“There are more types of relationships than dating,” Izzy admitted.
“Izzy! Our fucking pictures are in the magazine!” Axl was estatic as he flew the door open.
Axl immediately ran over towards Izzy to show him all the photos.
“These look sick,” Izzy’s eyes scanned the pages of the trash magazine.
“Apparently Del’s roommate saw this while on the strip this afternoon. She bought it and thought we might want to see it. It may be a local magazine, but we still made it. Look!” Axl then pointed at various pictures of the band.
“When you’re done with it, I’m cutting out that pic of Del and I. I’m gonna put it in my case,” Izzy smiles to Duff as he spoke. He hoped that the two would survive the road ahead.
“As long as I get this one,” Axl said pointing to a picture of just himself, laughter quickly erupting from the room.
“Food is ready,” Delilah popped her head into the room and smiled at the guys freaking out about the pictures.
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nightwving · 5 years ago
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i was tagged by @mollyweasly​ to answer these questions, tysm!! i did most of them the other night but got distracted and am posting them now lmao
1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? idk, i’ll say maybe a 7 or so? honestly i’m feeling pretty decent for the first time in a while
2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #ohfuck
3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? that’s tough... i would never want to actually subject anyone to the horror or doing that with me, but i guess either tom holland or sebastian stan??
4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? “a juxtaposed comedic disaster”
5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? shit man i usually overshare pretty much everything, but i guess one thing would be that i got hit straight in the head by a golf ball while on a course with my parents when i was in middle school?? it came from way far out but miraculously didn’t seem to crack my skull or give me too bad of a concussion. my dad said it hit so hard that it sounded like it hit the pavement. now i have severe anxiety near golf courses and when things are flying near my head in general lmfao
6. what’s your wake up ritual? i check my phone real quick and then immediately go to pee and brush my teeth. depending on the day and whether or not i’d be late for class back when things were normal, i might shower lol. then either get dressed real quick and go to class or, these days, play video games or get on my computer
7. what’s your go to bed ritual? i’ll usually wrap up whatever i’m doing, make sure my fan is on, lock my door (when i’m at school), strip, take some melatonin, lay down, set my alarm, plug in and then get on my phone for a while until i (hopefully) get sleepy
8. what’s your favorite time of day? i love the evening around sunset or so but i also just love the night in general, especially when things get quiet in the am
9. your go to for having a good laugh? tiktok
10. dream country to visit? ummm... honestly canada 😂 or germany or something
11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? last spring i spontaneously won an award in the department that i work for at school because my friends insisted that i get one for all the work i do on the newspaper and for my work study and stuff. they had to work some stuff around because i’m not actually a major and that’s who the awards are for, but they all agreed to give it to me at the ceremony and i was NOT expecting it whatsoever. it was one of the most amazing moments ever especially since i struggle with finding a niche and having faith in myself
12. heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers!!
13. vintage or new? i love vintage but that shit can be hard for me to find
14. who do you want to write your obituary? probably a friend idk i feel like my family would say some dumb corny shit lmao
15. style icon? i have quite a few but slash or duff mckagan from 80s GNR would be a couple ok don’t judge me. and john bender from the breakfast club
16. what are three things you cannot live without? internet, my ps4, and friends
17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? chili or garlic powder
18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i don’t even make dinner for myself lmao but if i really had the motivation, probs stan lee, carrie fisher, and my tiny son josh bassett
19. what’s your biggest fear in life? being institutionalized against my will and/or death before i’m ready/feel like i’ve done something worthwhile.
20. window or aisle seat? depends tbh
21. what’s your current tv obsession? i’m not really on a kick with it right now, but i’m slowly making my way through the clone wars in chronological order.
22. favorite app? tiktok
23. secret talent? uhh... i guess a lot of people would assume that i’m not athletic because of my weight but i’m actually naturally pretty sporty and can still be when i really feel like it
24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? well i’ve tried to summon spirits in multiple different places, attempted to break into an asylum with my ex, done a pregnancy test with an old friend in a burger king bathroom... idk if those count as “adventurous” but that’s about all i got as of right now in my life
25. how would you define yourself in three words? eclectic, resilient, and real
26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my denim jacket
27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? also denim jacket lol
28. a superpower you would want? i debate this often... i think shapeshifting would be cool but also telekinesis
29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? movies and stuff i guess
30. best piece of advice you’ve received? probably that it’s okay to do things at your own pace and to not be so hard on yourself when you aren’t doing things the same way as others
31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? wear some better fuckin clothes lmao
32. a book everyone should read? bruh idk i don’t really read anymore, harry potter i guess 😂
33. what would you like to be remembered for? being honest and real but also someone that would’ve been there for you, or to have a good laugh with
34. how do you define beauty? beauty is like something that fills you with wonder and a sense of life or something
35. what do you love most about your body? uh... i have nice legs i guess 😂
36. best way to take a rest/decompress? find something that distracts you and makes you forget about all the shit. get lost in another world in movies/music/etc or just laugh with someone about anything
37. favorite place to view art? i like seeing it in the studios at school when people are still working on it
38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? “somethin’ else”
39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? ugh i would love to be a full blow pianist but i ain’t got the patience for that. i made it through a few periods of lessons throughout my life and three classes in college but i don’t have the capacity to do more than that. but i would also love to get even better with my voice. i’ve been taking classical lessons for the past couple of years but quit recently because of the anxiety that studio recitals and master classes give me. music major shit is rough
40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? i have one janky one behind my right ear that i got when i was 16, it’s a bird. but if i wasn’t a fatass bitch, i’d like to get more in different places on my body
41. dolphins or koalas? dolphins
42. what’s your spirit animal? it used to be a coyote according to a quiz years ago lol but it’s probably something different now
43. best gift you’ve ever received? probs my shitty first car that my dad got me last summer. but it’s a hell of a lot better than nothing
44. best gift you’ve given? shit i can’t even remember. i love doing personal little gifts for my friends. ACTUALLY i’d probably say the playlist i made for my friend last christmas because listening to music late at night was our thing
45. what’s your favorite board game? secret hitler is the BOMB
46. what’s your favorite color? yellow
47. least favorite color? probs brown
48. diamond or pearls? diamonds
49. drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore bitch, i’m broke
50. blow-dry or air-dry? air dry preferably but i’ll blow dry if i need to
51. pilates or yoga? neither lmao
52. coffee or tea? coffee unless it’s sweet tea
53. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? all of them
54. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark
55. stairs or elevators? elevators bih i got bad knees
56. summer or winter? winter, FUCK the sun
57. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? potatoes
58. a dessert you don’t like? a lot of things, i eat like a picky five year old. but i don’t like anything minty
59. a skill you’re working on mastering? singing. but also design-y stuff and videography
60. best thing to happen to you today? i went on a short walk with my mom earlier and there’s always a man across the street from us who sits on his porch every evening and sings with his guitar. i love it
61. worst thing to happen to you today? sitting through my zoom class lmao
62. best compliment you’ve ever received? idk, just when someone has generally called me beautiful? that makes me feel really nice
63. favorite smell? i love the smell of cookies or brownies in the oven. i’m also weird af and love strange things like basement smell and gasoline. also sharpies
64. hugs or kisses? hugs probably
65. if you made a documentary, would it be about? idk probably something about a niche community/town or some cult-y shit
66. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? avengers: endgame
67. lipstick or lipgloss? i don’t usually wear either very much but probably lipstick
68. sweet or savory? savory
69. girl crush? ana de armas or margot robbie
70. how do you know your in love? i feel like you’d do anything for that person even if it hurt you, and you think about them all the time and want to protect/be there for them
71. a song you can listen to on repeat? i usually avoid listening to things on repeat, but if i had to choose something... idk maybe africa by toto 😂
72. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? probs someone like elon musk or bill gates to see what it’s like to be that fucking rich and successful
73. what are you most excited for about this time in your life? just enjoying it and maybe honing some skills with all this extra time. also watching some movies on my watchlist
i’m tagging @verafarmiga, @northuldrra, @tmhnks, @spaceoddly, @breaksfastclub, and anyone else who wants to do it!! but feel free to ignore or just laugh at my answers
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ladybub · 6 years ago
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The next chapter is here! I got on a roll last night, I wanted to get the next chapter out ASAP so that we could get that sweet, sweet action going.
Enjoy!
Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Sabine Cheng, Tom Dupain, Chloé Bourgeois, Alya Césaire, Nino Lahiffe, Lila Rossi, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Nathalie Sancoeur Additional Tags: Overboard AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Miraculous, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst, Fluff, Fake Marriage, I have literally got nothing planned, i am winging this, most likely smut Summary:
Overboard AU. Marinette Dupain-Cheng hasn't had the best of luck in her life, not only has her husband Luka passed away tragically three years ago, she's one failed test away from losing her scholarship, and also already lost her job at the cafe. With three children to take care of, she doesn't have the time to dawdle and needs to find another job, or a miracle, stat! Meanwhile, on his own personal yacht, Adrien Agreste - the heir to the Gabriel fashion line - hasn't a care in the world and women on his arms at all times. He's living the life of a Bachelor with no problems whatsoever, other than the hangovers he gets the morning after. However both their luck changes after a chance meeting, and when the son of the rich designer has an accident which causes him to lose his memory...
So... Marinette didn't end up with a job at the end of the day.
It seemed word got out about a clumsy waitress that was rumoured to have recently broken over half the mugs in the Le Blanc café - her old workplace - in one fell swoop, and had gotten fired. So when Marinette rocked up, resume in hand, it seemed that the managers were all too eager to turn her away, saying that they had no positions available and that they were very sorry - no matter how much she insisted.
She knew her luck was bad, but come on! She figured she wasn't going to get a job straight away, but she couldn't believe not one place would give her any hopeful indication that she had a chance. Even the ones that did take her resume didn't seem like they were interested. She felt the fuzz of anxiety in her mind, as her fear of losing the apartment loomed overhead.
Marinette shook her head and slapped her cheeks. She didn't have time to dwell on that right now, she had to get on the game! She opened the van door; she had just parked near the dock, right next to the hugest yacht she'd ever seen. Like, seriously, this thing was practically a cruise ship. It had multiple rooms and levels, and was absolutely spotless. She already knew that they had a kitchen on board, a fully-functional chef's kitchen nonetheless! More staff ran around on the board, and there were people on the deck, setting up for the party. It looked like it would be a long night.
She started packing the containers in the van onto a collapsible trolley that was tucked in the back. It wasn't even dusk yet and they needed to have everything ready by 9pm. She was so happy that her parents had opened the store to catering. Since they got the extra business, Tom and Sabine had extra time on their hands. They had taken a small step back now that they were older and the business was pretty self sufficient. They loved to babysit their grandchildren regularly for Marinette, and she was so happy that they were so involved in the kids lives, but mostly happy that they could take the time to enjoy themselves.
Marinette immediately felt out of place when she took a step onto the boat, just to her right was a giant spa! As she continued through the yacht, she walked past exquisitely décored rooms, each with their own ensuite. When she reached the kitchen, it was brilliantly polished and sparkling. As if it was brand new and untouched.
She finished depositing all the containers of food into the kitchen and already had completed the preparation, so all that was left was to stick them in the oven when the client wanted the appetisers shared around, and she was currently waiting for the first batch to come out. All the cold appetisers were plated and ready to go.
Marinette sat and watched the other staff scamper around in the meantime. She knew at 9pm, Tikki - the other server who was rostered for the night - would arrive, but that wasn't for ages away. She knew no one else here.
It seemed like the client wasn't here either, since no one bothered to greet her when she arrived. She couldn't help but feel curious about the many rooms in the boat, and quickly checked to see if anyone was paying any attention to her. Nope, coast seemed clear. It couldn't hurt to have a quick look around the yacht, right? She wasn't a thief, she just wanted to have a peek at exactly how big it was.
It was huge.
There was one kitchen, with in-built pantry the size of a room, two bathrooms - one with a bathtub, three master bedrooms and the forth one had its own balcony over the first floor. The fourth bedroom was the one she was in now, and it seemed to belong to someone, considering all the blankets were mussed up and there was more personal decorations around the room.
She quickly called Alya, she just had to know where she was. It didn't take long for Alya to answer.
"Hey Marinette, what's up?"
Marinette held in her giddiness, "Alya, you won't believe where I am right now. I'm doing a catering job for the bakery, and the place we're serving is a freakin' 5-star mini cruise ship!" She walked into the en suite, and eyed off a bottle of Gabriel cologne on the bathroom bench. Look's like the client is a guy... She thought.
"Really?! Who is hosting the party?" Alya asked excitedly, "Someone famous you think?"
Marinette quickly popped Alya onto speaker as she opened her emails, "Hmm, let's see... A guy named Adrien Agreste..." Her mind went blank, as it stuttered over the last name. "Wait, as in Gabriel Agreste's son?!" Marinette almost shouted.
Alya gasped on the other side of the phone, "You've got to be kidding me! Model for the Gabriel fashion line, mega hottie, Adrien Agreste?" Marinette knew the exact face Alya was pulling right now, and she was already dreading her next words. "Get in girl! This could make your career if you manage to get a contact with Adrien. Plus, have you seen him?" Alya made a noise that Marinette didn't want to put too much thought into.
"No way, Alya. I mean, you know that I used to have photos of him in Collège... But that was just a... Celebrity crush on a 14 year old boy. I haven't really been paying attention to social media, so I have no clue what he looks like now. Besides, I don't want to use some poor guy. I want to achieve success on my own merit."
"Mari, if you saw him you might change your mind." Alya encouraged, "You HAVE to open up Instagram right now, his handle is-"
"Do you mind keeping it down?" The voice came from the bed. Alya went silent and Marinette's blood went cold. No way.
Marinette's turned around, words of apology on her lips but then froze. It was like she was watching a magazine shoot in real life - on the bed was Adrien Agreste, sex hair from sleeping, and completely naked. Luckily (or, unluckily, depending who you asked) the sheet covered the important parts, but as he stood up, unbothered by her presence, and she got a full glimpse of his ass.
Notably, she noticed that on his left cheek, there was a cute little paw print, with the words 'Chat Noir' written below it.
Her face went beet red and she quickly looked away, she finally spluttered the words that she meant to say before. "I'm so sorry, I had no clue anyone was here. I was just looking around but I-It was rude of me to intrude, I'll leave now." She quickly turned to leave, hoping that if she walked off fast enough, he'd not notice her face and she could not die of embarrassment.
Before she'd managed to get out the door she heard his reply, and paused. "Don't worry about it, I'm not shy." Said Adrien, wrapping the sheet around him, and gave her a charming smile. "I mean, the world has seen most of it anyway." He shrugged, moving past her and into the walk-in wardrobe. As he dropped the sheet behind him onto the floor again, he gave Marinette a wink before walking out of view to get dressed.
After Marinette started thinking straight again, she began for the door once more. "Still I'll get out of your hair." Right as she reached the door, she saw Adrien's blonde head pop out of the wardrobe.
"Oh, wait!" He called, causing Marinette's heart to skip a beat. He walked out the wardrobe, buttoning up his perfectly pressed white shirt. "While you're here, do you mind getting me a..." He pursed his lips in thought, "A bloody mary. Yes."
Marinette's brain froze. Again. But this time, it wasn't because she was getting lost in his emerald eyes. "O-Oh, sorry, I'm not a bartender, I'm one of the servers of the catering company you hired, Tom and Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie. We're here to serve the appetizers."
Adrien looked at her for a long moment. Shit. So much for leaving before he saw you properly. Marinette scolded herself. She then felt her skin prickle as his eyes dragged over her body. She suddenly felt self conscious. "Is there something on my uniform?" She looked to check.
"No, no. You're fine, it's just..." Adrien let out an over dramatic sigh, "You're a bit flat, princess. I prefer my girls with bigger breasts, what a shame, since your face so cute." Adrien gave her a very fiendish smile. "But still, I wouldn't mind if you crawled into my bed at the end of the night." He winked at her.
Marinette felt herself flush in embarrassment, but also felt like she had a bucket of ice water dump on her head. That was no way to talk to someone! Who did he think he was? "I-I have to go. To serve the food." She bit out. "You'll have to get your own drink." She stormed off.
Marinette reached the kitchen and opened the oven to peek inside. She closed the oven door, making a new timer for the next 5 minutes. She was barely containing the growing anger inside. If she wasn't representing her parent's bakery, she would've clocked the guy. Well, probably not. But she wish she could! Right in his smug face, maybe break his nose. Okay, that's excessive. She sighed, frustration now mingling with a bit of sadness. At least now she'd be able to distract herself with serving, and she'll just ignore him. She'll treat him like any customer, and the moment that the kitchen closes, she's out of here!
She groaned. Except that she had to come back in the morning and collect all the equipment. She couldn't be packing away everything and transporting it into the van so late at night. Guess she'll just have to take it as it comes, she didn't want to let her parents down.
Finally, right as the timer went off, Tikki arrived in the kitchen, a cute little ladybug pin on her apron.
"Tikki! Just on time, as always." Marinette was relieved to have someone else with her now. "I love your haircut! Short hair looks really cute on you."
Tikki touched the short red locks on her head, "You think? I was worried it'd look weird, but..." Her smile shined brightly. "I really love it! My head feels so light."
"Its super adorable." Marinette began filling the trays with the first round of appetisers, and set the first tray on Tikki's open hands. "Now we're just serving in the open areas," Marinette instructed, "I'll be keeping an eye on the ovens and get the new trays ready as they are needed. When you want a break, let me know."
"Got it, ma'am!" Tikki smiled playfully, before shooting an excited eye beyond Marinette and towards the music, which had just begun blazing throughout the yacht. "I can't believe that we're here, I feel like I'm on one of those party boats for celebrities."
"Well, considering the host, it pretty much is..." Marinette laughed weakly, she really didn't want to ruin Tikki's fun by being a wet blanket, but she knew she should tell her what happened the moment before. "Our client is Adrien Agreste, and unfortunately the only nice thing about him is his face." She scowled.
"Adrien Agreste?!" Tikki exclaimed, "Wait." Her excitement turned into a look of concern. "What happened? Did you meet him or something?"
Marinette sighed as she finished preparing the remaining trays and walked out the kitchen with Tikki, "He called me flat, and then invited me to his bed! I've head of negging but," She huffed, "he really seemed like he didn't care about hurting my feelings at all. Trust me, avoid him if you can. Adrien is a entitled brat."
Tikki gave Marinette a pitying look, "I'm so sorry, Marinette. You didn't deserve it, but," Tikki stopped and smiled at two guests who took a few quiches of her tray, "What do you expect? I mean, he's had beautiful girls throwing themselves at him all his life, and people sucking up to him for his wealth. He probably has some sort of God-complex."
"Ugh, you're probably right." Marinette's nose crinkled up, but she gave Tikki a reassuring smile, "I won't let it get to me, don't worry. I have bigger problems to think about."
Tikki reached up to Marinette and pinched her cheek, "That's my girl!"
It was an exhausting night, but Marinette was glad it was finally over. Lucky for her, Adrien was distracted the rest of the night and seemed to forget about her existence entirely - which, she admitted made her bristle slightly. What happened was so insignificant to him that he didn't even notice when she served him multiple times, whilst she had anger coursing through her the entire night every time she looked at him.
She parked the van in the same spot she had last time, and unpacked the trolley from the back. She'll be in and out, before anyone knew she was there. She brought along a cap this time which she pulled far down her face and wheeled the trolley up onto the deck and into the kitchen with no issues.
Just has she finished putting the last container into the van, the trays were the last things she needed to get. She sneaked onto the yacht one last time, and was just ready to leave the kitchen after collecting the trays when she heard the sound of two set of feet coming down the hall. She quickly ducked behind the wall, not wanting to be seen.
"Adrien, this has been going long enough. I won't tolerate any more of your abhorrent behaviour." A pang of familiarity hit Marinette. This voice, no, it couldn't be...
"Or what, Dad?" Adrien's voice spat out, "You'll cut me off? Your heir?" Marinette heard Adrien scoff, and she could tell that they both moved into one of the spare bedrooms just outside the kitchen. Adrien's words confirmed her suspicions, right in the room across from her had to be Gabriel Agreste. The same Gabriel who hasn't been seen out in public in years - and here he was, on Adrien's yacht.
"Perhaps I will!" Gabriel snapped, and Adrien seemed to go silent for a while, probably shocked to hear his father raise his normally reserved voice. "I will not have some brainless, alcoholic bachelor as the face of Gabriel. If you don't fix up your act soon, son..." A pause. "You won't be an Agreste anymore."
Marinette sucked in a shocked breath, was he going to disown Adrien? She couldn't believe what she was hearing, and she couldn't hear anything from Adrien either. A long moment passed before she heard someone leaving the room.
"You have one month. The week before the Spring Gala, if you don't come back to the estate with the intention on apologising and becoming an heir worthy of the Agreste name... Don't bother coming back at all."
With that, Gabriel Agreste left the boat. Marinette couldn't help but feel bad for Adrien, she couldn't imagine having that sort of relationship with her father.
She waited a few minutes before peeking out into the hallway, she couldn't hear anyone anymore. Perhaps now was the time to get out of here.
But before she could get away completely, a voice called out.
"Hey! Server girl." Adrien stood at the door to the bedroom, his eyes were red and when he walked up to her, she smelt the distinct scent of alcohol coming from him. "Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you for a drink." He shot her a entertained look as he stumbled a little when he made his way towards her. "Instead, how about some more of those little..." He gestured with his hands, "cheesy, bacon... Egg things. Hm?"
All sense of sympathy Marinette felt was gone as she remembered the night before, but she couldn't bring herself to get angry at him after what she just heard. Not to mention, she was in uniform. Ugh, she hated the hospitality industry sometimes. "Sorry, the contract was only for yesterday evening. Besides, there's no more food and all the equipment is packed away."
Adrien plucked out his wallet and then grabbed a wad of cash, dumping it on the trays she was holding. "Go get me something to eat then. I'm feeling something..." He thought for a moment, "sweet. Maybe fruit? What's in season right now?"
Marinette balked at the money, but still, grabbed the cash and shoved it into Adrien's chest. "I'm not doing anything for you. The contract is over. I'm going home."
Adrien grabbed her arm before she could leave, "Aw, come on. I don't bite." He winked, "Unless you ask."
"Ugh!" Marinette yanked her arm from his grip, "I don't want to spend one more moment with a sleeze like you."
"Me-owch. This girl has claws." Adrien didn't seem perturbed by her comment, "Did I hurt your feelings last night, princess? I was wondering why I didn't see that cute ass of yours in my bed."
Marinette felt the disgust curl in her stomach, "No. I just would never sleep with someone who didn't respect anyone but himself." She turned on her heel to leave, only to feel herself begin to pitch to the side - falling right into the spa!
Or, well, she almost did. Then two muscular arms wrapped around her and stopped her from falling. Marinette became very aware of that fact that she was pulled towards Adrien's bare chest. Did this guy ever have any clothes on?! She couldn't stop the blush that made its way to her cheeks. Adrien was a prick, but, even she had to admit was he fit.
She pushed his arms away hurriedly, "Get off of me!"
"Is that anyway to thank your saviour?" Adrien chuckled, the sound deep and sardonic.
"I don't need your help." Marinette straightened up and smoothed down her clothes. "It's just a little water anyway, I would've been fine."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, really."
"Alright then..." Then Marinette felt his hands on her again, but this time instead of pulling - he pushed her!
Marinette fell into the jacuzzi with a large splash, the trays clattering to the floor loudly, some of them denting as they fell down the steps beside the jacuzzi, down into the entertainment area below. When she resurfaced, she gasped loudly, "What the fuck! I could have seriously injured myself if I hit my head." She spluttered, and wiped the water from her face, "You really are a dick, you know?" She didn't care anymore, she couldn't hold in the anger.
Her only answer was Adrien's entertained laughter.
So she got out of the jacuzzi, slapping away Adrien's offered hand while he snickered. When she began collecting the trays, she noticed three of them had huge dents in them, making them unusable. Her heart sank. These were her father's favourite silver trays that they saved for the high-class events, like the one last night.
She stomped up to Adrien and waved them around in his face, "You need to pay for the damage on these, look!" She pointed at the dents, "These are custom silver trays that my father ordered for the business! They cost hundreds of dollars, and that's just for one of them!"
Adrien shrugged, "Not my problem, you dropped them."
Marinette seethed, "You pushed me!"
Adrien bent to her level, "What you gonna do, sue me? With what proof?" He laughed as he walked away, "Since you're not going to stay and suck me off, you can leave." He looked into the distance, waving someone over.
"W-What?!" Marinette spluttered, "You can't do that, you- you damaged our property!" Suddenly, the sun that was warming her back disappeared as a large shadow blocked the heat.
"Gorilla, escort her out. If she struggles, just throw her into the Seine." Adrien plastered on the fakest, sweetest smile she'd ever seen. "Bye bye, server girl."
Marinette didn't want to satisfy him with a response. She turned towards the Gorilla, a frown deeply set on her face. "I can see myself out. This isn't the last you'll hear from me."
She left the yacht in a huff, trying to ignore the burn of Adrien's stare on the back of her head.
Oooh, she was going to make him pay her family back, one way or another.
Notes:
Yes. Adrien is a huge dick in the beginning. I promise that he'll get his just desserts, and also that he'll get better.
Chloe and Lila will be back in later chapters, I promise there's more to them than being the bikini girls who hang off him.
I hope this chapter was more entertaining than the last! I really want to get to the good, juicy stuff. It'll come, eventually.
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serowoenin · 5 years ago
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December 17th
     Today is my third official day of sobriety...from smoking weed that is. I know–funny thing to be writing about or even referring to being sober from. But honestly, I have been having a bad time dealing with my mental illnesses and for the longest time I thought weed was my saving grace. I was WRONG.
   I guess to give you a run down of how I even got here in the first place, at least I think this is where it all started, I have to go all the way back to 2017 and give a not-so-brief-but-not-so-detailed little rundown. Let’s begin:
May 2015- I moved out of my parents at 17 to live with other family because I was having problems at home. In actuality, I was going through some severe depression and didn’t know it…but was also doing angsty teenage stuff so there is that.
August 2015- SURPRISE! Found out I was pregnant a day before entering my senior year of high school. Judge all you want–I know I am such a whore for getting pregnant at 17. NEXT.
October 2015- I miscarried my child, was considered homeless, on the brink of dropping out of school and–had my first suicide attempt.
November 2015- I was in a mental hospital from Halloween until the 17th when I finally moved into a group home. Because I was still 17, I became a ward of the state and entered the foster care system.
December 2017- After a lot of CBT, meeting with a psychiatrist and a difficult face-to-face with my mom–I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and a bunch of other shit that I take with a grain of salt and don’t let defy me.
February 2016- I met a boy, that boy changed my life–he became my everything. His name was Luke.
April 2016- I graduated high school, turned 18 and–SURPRIIIISE! I got kicked out of my group home because they “accidentally” terminated my case. (Which coincidentally was 3 days after my 18th birthday)
May 2016- Luke’s family took me in and I moved in with his grandmother. She and I became super close and I got accepted into a technical college.
August 2016- I worked all summer and saved up for my own apartment…also started college. But I had to do something that was difficult for the sake of my mentality. 
September 2016- I broke up with Luke. I loved him and it was difficult but I needed time to figure out me. It did not end well. Also lost access to my medication, psychiatrist and well…any mental support I needed. As I had no license or car.
October 2016 - April 2017 Let’s just say I had a lot of fun until I didn’t. I wanted the full college experience. But I missed my Luke…but fuck that we move forward NOT backwards. Smoked weed regularly.
April 2017- I shaved my head bald…and smoked weed.
May 2017- I met someone else and was struggling financially living on my own.
June 2017- I moved in with my new partner and his family to avoid being homeless again and to save for a new place. It was a mistake. He was abusive. His mothers did NOT care but I had no where else to go.
July 2017- SURPRISE! Found out I was pregnant by my abusive asshole of a partner. Quit smoking weed.
August 2017- I moved out because I couldn’t take the physical and psychological abuse anymore. Moved in with friends–but that proved to be difficult as they had their own lives and it wasn’t a good environment for a pregnant me.
October 2017- Moved back in with abusive partner…I know, I know—but he had a way of making me believe he would change for the sake of our child.
January 2018- Went back to school and while things were fine for a few months…old habits started again. 
February 2018- Had a very scary incident that ended in my abuser being arrested and charged with DV/Assault. I still believed him when he and his mothers said he would change….he got out on an OR.
April 2018- POPPED THAT BUN RIGHT MF OUT MY OVEN. Had to go to court 3 days after giving birth–my abuser was put on probation for 2 years and then proceeded to quit his job.
May 2018- The abuse got worse and for the protection of my son I left. Got a restraining order for my son and I. This would be the last time my son and I see my abuser. 
June 2018- Reconnected with an old friend–Luke. I know what I said about moving forward but--mind ya business. I also started smoking weed again.
August 2018- Luke asked for my hand in marriage and we moved in together…he helped me with my KJ every step of the way.
September 2018- Got married to my Luke, felt safe and happy.
March 2019- Nothing really happened from September to March…but in March Luke filed for step-parent adoption.
April 2019- KJ turned 1, we went on vacation for a week in Texas, I turned 21 and my abuser gave our attorney/the courts consent for the adoption. It was over…but the damage was still done and I was still smoking weed. HEAVY. Started working again.
August 2019- My brother-in-law got married. Things were stressful because of problems in my marriage but I had my weed there to comfort me and make it all go away.
September 2019- Had our 1 year wedding anniversary. Still was having problems, but weed made it all go away.
October 2019- Moved in with my Luke’s parents. The adoption became finalized and I got a new job (my previous job had been seasonal). Smoking a LOT more.
November 2019- Adjusting to living with the in-laws…finally addressed marriage problems and worked through them. Smoking heaviest I’ve ever smoked in my life. Quit my new job because they were on some bullshit. (Fuck Target)
     Which brings us to December! On the 14th day of this very fun month I decided I would be smoking my final blunt. Am I against weed? Obviously not. Will I eventually smoke again? Honestly don’t plan on it. The 15th was my first day without weed and I am not going to lie–a bitch wanted to smoke. I was so irritable, angry, sad, happy…every emotion I feel like I blocked out smoking for that long I felt at once. The second day was better but I my had moments.
   The 16th I decided to keep myself busy to curb cravings so I ate healthy, exercised and did crafts with KJ and Luke. It wasn’t as hard falling asleep but staying asleep was definitely a problem. My heart keeps racing to the point where I wake up with severe anxiety and then I fall back asleep. I do, however, have a lot more energy and don’t feel nearly as sluggish as when I would smoke before bed. 
   Finally, we make it to today! I didn’t go into great detail recounting what has happened but I feel like writing it all out int a timeline and processing it will help me with actually dealing with my issues. I am seeking a psychiatrist and hoping to get to a place where my depression doesn’t control me but it will take time. I don’t want to be the way I am–I know I won’t be able to completely get rid of what I have but I do want to take control of ME again. I haven’t felt like myself in so long but I know that discovering and shaping myself into who I want to be as a wife, mother, friend and person will be so much better with the current support system I have. I had no idea how to start my first post but–this honestly seems like a good foundation to me. Eh?
Any suggestions for the next post?
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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago
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Survey #221
“god is making fun of me; he’s up there laughing, i can see.”
What type of toothpaste do you use? Crest. What is your favorite color(s) of eye-makeup? b l a c k Are you sexually active? No. Do you have sensitive skin? I guess? Are you egotistical? I have the self-esteem of like... a blobfish. Do you have an older sister? Multiple. Favorite song by Owl City? I like "Fireflies" and "Hot Air Balloon." What color is your mum’s car? White. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? In the hallway that connects the bathroom and kitchen. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? I AM MUCH MUCH LIGHTER. My dad is really dark-skinned from being a mailman for all my life. Always being outside does it. His arms especially are really really tan from sticking them out the window. Do you like apricots? Noooo. Do you like kinky sex? Never tried anything kinky before, so wouldn't know. What country were you born in? The U.S.A. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? LIQUID. Bar soap grosses me out, even though it's... yeah, soap. Like multiple people (if you live with others, anyway) are rubbing that on their body, no thanks. Do you believe being gay is a choice or a “disorder”? Neither; I believe it's a mutation. How many birds can you name just by looking at them? Uhhh jaybirds... cardinals... bald eagles... crows, ravens... vultures... peacocks... Victoria crowned pigeons... barn owls, horned owls, snowy owls... probably others. There's so many, I'm not musing over it forever. Which birds are most common around your neighborhood? I don't live in a "neighborhood." But you see lots of crows in this area. If you don’t understand a reference in something, do you look it up? Sometimes. Depends on what it is, how interesting it is. Are you the kind of person to look at accident sites, when passing them by? Morbid curiosity gets the better of me here. Did you ever make dolls or hand puppets in primary/elementary school? Yeah. When you were little, what sorts of make belief did you play? Y'ALL I did the weirdest shit. I remember I loved mimicking A Bug's Life by taking a leaf and placing things like seeds and stuff on it, my little sister and I enjoyed "cooking" with plastic food and our oven set, we liked playing house with friends, OMG I FORGOT ABOUT HOW WE USED TO LOVE BEING MERMAIDS IN THE POOL, uhhh. Idr, there's other stuff for sure. I was really creative as a kid and loved playing make believe. Has a friend’s parent ever given you a present just because? I don't think "just because." What do you do with clothes you can’t wear anymore? We donate them, give them away to friends if they like something, or, when it comes to our favorite shirts, my mom has actually been working on creating a big blanket out of them since we were kids. I hope she finishes before her time's up. What is something you’re very particular about? How my food is prepared. What is your dearest stuffed animal that you own? Why is that? My moose Brownie from Cabela's in Ohio. I ALWAYS slept hugging him as a little kid and even teenager until Jason got me Rebel the meerkat. He's still on my dresser. Name something awesome from another culture that is not part of yours: Oh man, idk. When at a Chinese or Japanese restaurant, do you use chopsticks? I have pretty intense tremors. I could NEVER use chopsticks. What’s something you can’t wait for about growing old? Um, nothing? Nothing about being elderly seems fun. How do you expect your life to go like? How are you ensuring that? Ideally, it would be defined by contentment and success. I want to know financial peace, stability, and pride in what I've accomplished. I'm trying my damnedest to ensure this by going back to school, trying as hard as I can to push my photography, and work on my mental health. Or do you just wing it as you go? NO. I've always had plans and goals, and I act on the desire to achieve them. The only time I was truly "winging it" was during my suicidal depression phase after the breakup. I was literally too busy wanting to die but being too afraid to and so lost and hopeless that I didn't know what to do. What’s a yard game that you still enjoy playing as an adult? Hunny I don't go outside rip. What do you think is the most interesting sea creature? Portuguese man-o-war, probably. They don't have a fucking brain yet are alive????? And deadly as a mfer????? How do you reset your head to zero, so to speak? Sleep. Have you ever gone exploring an abandoned building? Well, shacks. Are there any foreign television shows you enjoy watching? Some anime. What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend? I don't think I have a set "favorite" way. What’s your “Death Row Meal”? I mean, it'd depend on what I wanted at the time? Do you like going to the movies or prefer watching at home? I strongly prefer going to the theater. Don't really know why, though... I guess the setting, being in the dark and watching on a huge screen? When you were a kid, did you eat the crusts on your sandwich or not? Yeah. I've never minded crust. What activity instantly calms you? Car rides where I can blare my music. Ideally, how would you spend your birthday? It'd depend on what I was up for that day. But definitely doing things with friends and family. What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard? Idk. I don't really like traditional jokes. Be witty. What’s the career highlight you’re most proud of? Ha. Do you think you’ll stay at your current company awhile? Why or why not? N/A How would your 10-year-old self react to what you do? That's like the most depressing thought possible lmao. What do you remember most about your first job? The fact I can't do customer service. All I remember is the anxiety. Did you start working immediately after finishing school? Why or why not? No. I just wasn't ready. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? I lasted two hours in a deli in a constant state of panic. Guess. What’s the best career decision you’ve ever made? Going back to school for a degree. What’s the worst career decision you’ve ever made? Trying the deli. How much time do you spend with your family? Like... none, almost ever. We all live in different places. Who do you most like spending time with and why? In my family? My mom, because we relate on a lot and just generally get along. Were you close with your family growing up? My immediate family, yes. How do you define your family now? Distant. What traits are most important to you in your family members? Being accepting and open-minded. And supportive. Who are you the closest to and why? My mom. I live with her and she's supported and loved me through everything. Do you want a family of your own? Why does "family" always have to mean including kids? I don't want any. I just want my s/o and pets. What’s your favorite family tradition? We don't really have any anymore. If you could change your relationship with a family member, would you? If so, with whom? Yes, with my oldest sister. She pretty much disowned me at one point, we reconnected, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me again. We are VERY similar according to Mom, so it'd be nice to be close with her, but. What’s your favorite family memory? As a family... uh. Idk. Probably some times we were all in the pool together when my parents were still together, having fun. What TV family most reminds you of your own? *shrugs* Do you ever wish you were raised differently? In some ways, yes. Chores absolutely needed to be more enforced. What’s the best piece of advice a family member has given you? Idk, I'm sure something my mom said about moving on from things. Do you wish you had more siblings? If so, why? I wish I had a little brother, but one I was still relatively close in age with. I would've rocked that protective big sister over slightly-younger bro jazz. It would've been cool to have another kid to play with, especially a guy instead of a relatively girly-girl; not trying to make any pre-judgments about an imaginary kid, but you get it. Stereotypes and all. It would've been nice to have a more boyish sibling. Did you ever hide anything from or lie to your parents? Yeah. If you had a family business, what would it be? That would never happen in my family. Do you and your family have any nicknames for each other? Nothing out of the ordinary; ex. they usually just call me "Britt," but it's clear and reasonable why. What’s your favorite way to spend time with your family? I mean it varies. My parents are divorced and best apart so we're never really "together" unless we're at my older sister's house for birthday parties or holidays. That's the only time we're really *all* together. How do you show your family you love them? Always being there to listen or offer a signature bearhug. Have you ever been to a family reunion? Noooo, our extended family is littered all throughout the country. What’s the most important holiday you spend with your family and why? Christmas. It just reminds me of being a kid again. Who in your family would you describe as a “character”? Ho boy, my grandma. It's hurting lately to think of her as a "character" now though, seeing as she's dying of cancer now. She starts chemo soon, but this one's a death sentence regardless. It's spread too much. My relationship with her is strained and difficult, but I care for her nonetheless, and I worry that I'm really going to feel it all crash when she dies and I probably won't be there due to distance and school. What’s something your family would be surprised to learn about you? Shit, my family doesn't know most big things about me, I think; not because they don't care, but because I'm embarrassed of hobbies and interests and thus secretive. Only my mom knows mostly everything. I guess more than anything, uhhh... I'm no longer a Christian? I was raised religious, so most probably just assume I still am, and I don't just go around talking about how I dropped my faith. Which family member do you confide in most? Mom. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want? Sight, I think. What’s the first thing you look for in a partner and/or friend? A friendly, likable personality. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Oh wow, not since... around my birthday in February. The last person to say they loved you? Mom. Last thing received in the mail? For me, school textbooks. Do you have any famous relatives? Only ancestors. I consider "relatives" different/closer. Have you ever had sex in a public place? No. Have you ever been searched by the cops? It was either staff or police who did so the numerous times I went into the hospital and ER for my mental state. Are you any good at math? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? No. Well, I think. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life? Yes. Have you gone to college/uni? What is/was your major? I'm in college now! My major in this school is organismal biology because they don't have zoology. I'm getting what I need here and then going to a university for zoology. What color is your best friend’s hair? Brown. Where were you going the last time you were a passenger in a car? Yesterday otw home from school. Have you ever dated someone who had a kid from a previous relationship? No, and I wouldn't. What was the last event that was a turning point in your life? Going back to school! :') What’s your favorite setting in nature? (mountains, beach, desert, etc…) M O U N T A I N S  M O T H E R F U C K E R What hair color is most common in your family? BROWN. Almost everyone is brown-haired. For how long has your favorite band been your favorite? Damn, it's been Ozzy Osbourne since 6th or 7th grade, and I'm 23 now. He probably always will be. I'm hopefully seeing him next year and I'm!!!!!!!! not!!!!!!!!!! prepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you have any photos on your refrigerator? What are they of? Yeah. There's numerous of my older sister and her fam, plus my grandmother and her husband. Maybe others, idr. What color are the pillows on your couch? We don't have pillows on there. Have you ever gone more than 5 years without going to the dentist? No. My mom always makes sure her kids keep up with health check-ups. Do you have a hard time sleeping when you’re away from home? It depends on the emotional and physical comfort of where I am, really. Do you know anyone who got engaged while still in high school? I believe so. Are you friendly to retail employees? Honestly, fuck you if you're not for no good reason. Half the shit you complain about isn't their goddamn fault. Do you know anyone who litters? Not regularly, no. I wouldn't associate with them, I don't care how simple that sounds. However, I kept my mouth shut at my nephew's last b-day party because the kids let balloons up into the air; they tend to end up on beaches or in the ocean, so technically, it's littering, but I didn't want to seem like an asshole. I'm certain my sister didn't really think about that though, or else she wouldn't have allowed it. Do you think your neighbors have any complaints about living near you? No. We don't do any harm. The dogs bark sometimes, but not obnoxiously loud to where you can hear it if you're in your house. What was the last kind of soup you ate? I tried canned vegetable soup when my tongue piercing was healing, but I didn't like it. Where do you usually buy groceries from? Wal-Mart or Harris Teeter, depending on a few circumstances. What’s your favorite candy? Reese's if you include chocolate, strawberry Sour Punch Straws if not. Have you ever gone to a strip club? No, not my kinda scene. Are you jealous of anyone? *Envious, yes. Last song listened to? why????? do i like????????? "love rhymes with fuck you" by j star??????????? Do you take vitamins daily? No; only on Sunday I take a vit. d pill because otherwise I'm severely deprived. Is anyone jealous of you? I HIGHLY doubt that, homie. Last CD you listened to? Metallica's "Ride The Lightning" album when Mom and I were otw to my therapist once and my iPod wasn't working. This was FOREVER ago and I'm pretty sure it's still in there, lmao. Is there something you want to tell someone? I'm going to die wanting to see Jason one final time and apologize to him for how I treated him after the break-up. When you eat Frosted Flakes, do you add sugar in it? NOOOOOOO not a fan of Frosted Flakes. How many kids do you want to have? Zero. Have you ever gone behind your parents' backs? I actually don't think so... Who’s the biggest hugger you know? Ashley's huband's grandma will give you a hug even if she met you for only five seconds. Not a bad thing, it's just kinda uncomfortable. Where did you get your worst scar from? Surgery. Do you name your stuffed animals? Some. Have you ever been to Disney World? Yes. What is your favorite roller coaster, and where is it? My ass will not sit in a roller coaster, probably ever. What is your favorite state? From what I've seen, I find Utah the prettiest. Do you own any form of a Gameboy? I have a red Gameboy Advance that somehow still works. How is the world going to end? I find a meteor striking to be most likely, or we're swallowed by a black hole. Do you have any pets? Do you want any/more? Yes, and I do want another ball python morph, as well as a bearded dragon. Though if/when Sara and I move in together, Doris will be enough for a beardie, oml I love that sassy baby. :') <3 How did you find out about Myspace? Probably my older sister, or classmates. Are you careless with your information on the internet? "Maybe by some people’s standards." <<< Change "maybe" to "probably" for me, lol. I'm trying to improve, though. Have you ever owned a lava lamp? No, but my older sis had one as a teen. I want one SO BADLY. Is it better to color with markers, crayons, or colored pencils? Colored pencils, by far. Do you like to draw or write better? Write. I get more satisfaction out of drawing something I like, but I draw so rarely because I'm painfully critical over what I make. Do you have a favorite cousin? No. Can you knit? No. Are you interested in more than one person at the moment? Nope. Who are your last three missed calls from? Mom, Mom, and a number I didn't recognize. What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? I dunno. Have you hung out with any guys recently? No, but I miss Girt, so I should invite him over some time soon. Do you like your school? I love my school. They are very invested into their students' success, as well as being a community. Who’s the weirdest teacher at your school? I wouldn't know, I've only been here a month. Do you have nightmares often? Apparently. Mom sleeps on the couch right outside my door, and I spook her quite a lot by waking up screaming or attacking my bed, she says. Thank God I don't tend to remember them. Clarification, they're not night terrors or anything like that. I'm just pretty active in my sleep, such as talking and such. Can you remember how old you were when your appearance started to matter? I was kinda self-conscious in middle school 'cuz BOY was I an ugly duckling. How frequently do you pee at night? I almost without fail get up once a night to go. Do you name your pet fish, if you have any? N/A Do your parents care about you cussing? Dad doesn't, but Mom does about "severe" words, so I try to censor myself around her. Who is your favorite person in the world? Sara. Who do you spend most of your time with? I live only with my mother, so. Is there a stuffed animal you still take places with you? No. Last insult you received? Idk. Have you ever eaten Pop Rocks and drank Coca-Cola at the same time? Yoooo I think I did once at a b-day party, but not a lot bc I was scared lmao. At concerts, do you buy merch? I've only been to one, but I did. I would if I went to more. I've missed some fucking amazing bands' concerts this past year, and it's really annoying me now. Are you gullible? Not really. Do you get excited easily? No. Are you a headbanger? No, I'd get dizzy with a headache on board. First concert you went to? Alice Cooper. What venue was that at? Somewhere in Raleigh, idr. Have you ever been out of state for a concert? No. Are you fascinated by outer space? I don't know a person who isn't. It's very intriguing. Do you shop for new clothes each season? No. Is your hair dyed right now? If so, what color is it? No, but damn I want to. I wanna dye it lilac. I just need a professional to do it. Do you look up your symptoms online whenever you have a problem? Not "whenever," no. I typically just ask Mom. Do you eat enough fruits and vegetables? No. Definitely not vegetables. Do you have dreams that you’re not giving up on? Being truly content with my life one day. Do you think your hair looks better up or down? It's too short to go up. Do you like bare trees or green-leaved trees better? I prefer autumn trees. What season would you want to get married in? October/November, preferably, when the trees are all pretty. <3 What does your favorite stuffed animal look like? I have three "favorites," those being Brownie, Plum, and Rebel. I've already talked about Brownie the moose, then Plum is a stuffed snake from Sara that she'd had growing up, and Rebel is my stuffed meerkat from Jason that I always slept with while we were together and for a very long time after the break-up. He was a big comfort to me, and though he's a bittersweet stuffed animal now, idk. A lot of memories. His fur is all matted and you can just tell that fella has seen some love. Do you collect anything? Meerkat & Silent Hill stuff. What was the last book you read? I'm almost done with The Handmaid's Tale for school, and it is fucking phenomenal, coming from someone whose love for reading slipped away long ago. I have never in my life read a book with such vivid imagery and description. When was the last time you moved to a new house? The beginning of 2017. How long was your longest relationship? 3 1/2 years. Tell me about how your parents met. How old were they? They met through work. Idk how old they were, somewhere in their 30s, probably. What makes your bedroom special to you/what is your favorite part about it? It is VERY personalized; my room is looooaaaaded with shit relating to me and my interests, and that's what I love about it. It's very homey to me, surrounded by my passions. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first? I put soap on first. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance? I think the night of the breakup, when Mom essentially dragged me home from trying to walk to his house to talk. I entirely fell apart. When it comes to school, how motivated are you to work? It depends on where I am, actually. I'm at school for hours most days because my schedule fits into Mom's to avoid driving back and forth, and while I'm waiting in the library, I'm very motivated, even a bit obsessive. Meanwhile, at home, I don't want to work like... at all. I'm so used to this being my chill place. Do you know any high school sweethearts? How’s life treating them? My sister and her husband dated for a while in HS, actually, and they seem just fine. I'm sure my former friend and her husband are still together, and they've dated since middle school. I haven't had contact with her for like a year or so now though so idk how they are. Where do you usually buy your clothes? HotTopic or Wal-Mart. If you had to be a school teacher, which subject would you teach? Science, probably. But God FORBID I ever be a teacher; I wouldn't last. Which is the scariest ride you have ever been on in a theme park? Whatever that ride is where you sit in a bunch of chairs in a circle, go up way too damn high, and drop. I did it as a yolo even though I was terrified, and yeah, I screamed way too fucking loud. Never again.
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queertazsecretsanta · 6 years ago
Text
Bird Feed
A gift for @call-me-page, created by @aphaceland!
Happy Candlenights!
Title: Bird Feed
“Lup, that better not be the fresh bread you’re feeding them.”
“They deserve the best, Taako.”
Ever since the two of them opened up the Bready or Not Bakery, people had been flocking to the twins to get their fill of the kickass pastries they made. Unfortunately, they weren’t the only ones flocking. At first it was a group of pigeons that swarmed a warm bun that someone dropped on the sidewalk outside. Then word traveled to the sparrows and seagulls after some poor soul dropped their cupcake frosting-side down, sending sprinkles scattering across the curb. The most recent freeloaders had been a bunch or ravens or crows or whatever cawing up a storm right in front of the shop. At this point Taako had had enough and Lup wasn’t helping at all.
“That’s probably not even good for them.” Taako said, crossing his arms and leaning on the door frame.
“As long as it’s not all they’re eating it’s fine. Just a little snacky snack for some good birdy boys,” she said in a sing-song voice. Great, his sister was baby talking to a bunch of dirty street birds.
“Alright, suit yourself. Just know that ya boy, that’s me, hi, is gonna take your tips if you don’t get your butt inside and help me make the rest of the muffins before the store opens.”
At that, Lup gets up, dusts herself off, and runs back inside, glancing back only once to see the gathering of various birds enjoying the crumbs she left behind. Only after the birds finished their small snack did a raven, much larger than the other ones present, land right in the middle of the frenzy. The other birds flew off, leaving the raven looking for what was left. The large raven flew over to the side of the shop, right beside the display case that Taako was setting up for the day. The raven perched itself on the windowsill and pecked at the glass.
Taako only spared a single cursory glance the raven’s way before he went back to setting up. It was enough that he had to get out of bed early to make the pastries, but he had to arrange the display just right so that it was all appealing as fuck. The taste was already amazing, natch, but you need to make sure the people actually bothered to buy it first. He was positioning a cheesecake slice so that strawberry was just perfect under the lighting when the raven pecked at the glass again.
“What?” he asked, nearly dropping the cake in the process.
The raven pointed its beak insistently at the display. Taako couldn’t tell what exactly it was pointing at, but that hardly mattered anyway.
“Sorry, my man. You missed the feeding frenzy like a minute ago,” he shrugged, not sorry in the slightest. The raven only shook its head and ruffled its feathers, pointing again at the counter. Taako looked over at where the beak was pointing and saw the bowl of elderflower macarons.
“Nope. This is a Taako o-ri-gi-nal. Paying customers only.”
He was talking to a bird. A smart bird, but a bird nonetheless. He made a shooing motion with his hand and it seemed to have finally gotten the message. It flew off to leave Taako in relative peace before the morning rush started.
The raven, however, was not deterred. He waited patiently, with puffed up feathers, outside of the door, not quite feeling the cold breeze of the brisk autumn day. He had closed his eyes and nearly drifted off when he heard the telltale ‘ding!’ of the bell over the door being rung. Someone was going inside. Seizing the opportunity, the raven hopped up and walked in before the door slammed shut. Too short to be within line of sight, he walked over to the back room, making sure his talons didn’t clack too loudly against the tile.
Inside, he saw the elf from before. He looked engrossed in his baking. He was kneading dough for some confection when a kitchen timer went off. The raven clambered underneath a table and tried to hide in the shadows. Taako didn’t seem to notice him, though, and went over to the oven to pull out a tray of cinnamon rolls. The smell of fresh cinnamon wafted through the room, spurring the raven into action.
The raven flew out from under the table directly at Taako. He flared out his wings and yelled, mimicking the elf’s voice. “TAAKO O-RI-GI-NAL!”
Taako jumped with a yelp and fumbled the tray. A few cinnamon rolls fell before he could right it, though the screaming fucking bird in his kitchen was currently taking priority. The raven swooped down and grabbed a roll before it hit the ground and attempted to fly away. However, this gave Taako an opportunity to attack. He put the tray down and grabbed the bird’s leg. It flapped uselessly in his hand, clutching its stolen prize for dear life.
“What the fuck!” he yelled.
A few seconds later, Lup burst in with her wand at the ready. The confused and somewhat frightened expressions of the customers were visible for the few seconds the door was open. Lup looked around the room, seemingly searching for another person. Her worried expression turned deadpan when she saw her brother holding a bird that was awkwardly trying to free its leg.
“Goddamn it Taako, it sounded like you were being murdered in here.”
“Worse!” He pointed the raven at her. “This is what happens when you feed the birds, Lup.”
The raven had certainly found itself in a sticky situation. He could already feel the effects of the polymorph spell wearing off. He threw his head back, trying to eat the cinnamon roll before he turned back. Unfortunately he couldn’t even have that. Taako grabbed the part of the roll that was still hanging out of his beak and threw it out.
“Just toss it out the back door. And wash your hands, you don’t know where it’s been.” Lup said.
“Oh yeah, says the one who was feeding them the good bread in the first place. What happened to your good birdy boys, huh?” he teased, but walked to the backdoor anyway.
At that point, the raven was relieved. He may not have gotten the whole thing, but just tasting it would suffice. More importantly, he needed to get somewhere private or else the spell would end right in the middle of-
It sucked that it was an instantaneous transformation. Suddenly, instead of Taako holding a mischievous raven with half a cinnamon roll in his mouth, he was holding a grown man with half a cinnamon roll in his mouth. By the leg. The sudden shift in weight caused them both to fall over.
Taako was taken entirely by surprise. And, nope! He did not like that shit one bit. He pushed the man roughly off of him. “What the fuck is your- oh shit you’re actually kinda hot.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry! Are you hurt? I didn’t- I didn’t think it was going to go like that,” the man said.
“What did you expect to happen?” Lup said, now thoroughly confused.
Taako took the time to study the man as he and Lup argued. Well, it was more Lup arguing and him apologizing. He had shoulder-length dreads and a tastefully short beard. He was fully gothed out, with a black suit, skull patterned tie, and raven skull earrings. Taako also noticed the barest hint of fangs as he spoke. Fuckin’ nice.
“So, what’s your story? Any reason you, uh, busted into my shop, bird boy?” Taako said, almost certainly interrupting his and Lup’s conversation.
The man regarded Taako for a moment and Taako hoped he was checking him out. He fixed his tousled hair and rolled over onto his side so he could have a good look. Lup rolled her eyes.
“Um, my name is Kravitz and I’m not usually a bird. It’s just… the food here is so good and I don’t have any money-”
“You don’t have any money?” the twins asked in disbelief, gesturing at his immaculate suit.
“What, your sugar daddy’s holding out on you?” Taako asked with a giggle in his voice.
Kravitz frowned. “I don’t- I’m not- I don’t have one of those, so no. My job doesn’t really have a salary?”
Mild disbelief turned into full-fledged suspicion. What the hell was this guy talking about? “What do you even work as?” Lup asked.
Kravitz took note of the fact that she still hadn’t lowered her wand, so he had to choose his words carefully. He couldn’t exactly tell these people he was a reaper for the Raven Queen. If word got out that the literal Grim Reaper uses the powers that his Queen gifted him to get food from a local bakery, his reputation would take a massive hit. Especially since he technically doesn’t need to eat in the first place. Gods, he wanted this moment to be over.
“I work… as a… mortician.” Kravitz cringed at his own answer.
Taako rested his chin in his hand and cocked his head to the side. “Pretty sure they get paid.”
“They get paid more than us, I know that much.”
Kravitz stood. “Look, I’m sorry for the trouble and the mess. I really don’t have any money. I can find something to give you, though.”
He reached into his pockets and felt the jingling of trinkets he had collected on the job, as well as the occasional reward from the Raven Queen. He would hate to give those up, so he only pulled out a pair of earrings and a necklace he found on a previous job. They weren’t his style anyway. The earrings were both gold with sparkling rubies dangling from a chain. The necklace was probably part of that set. It was also gold, but it had several chains of dazzling rubies adorning the front. He preferred to wear cool colors, and this looks good enough to cover the losses.
“Um, is this good?”
Both twins practically ran into him to get a good look. Lup snatched up the earrings while Taako inspected the necklace. Their eyes widened as they appraised the jewelry and gave each other a look. Strings of anxiety knotted up in Kravitz’ chest. He hoped it was enough. He clutched the silver pocket watch his Queen gave him after his last job. There’s no way he’d give this one up.
“Yeah, that just about covers it, my man.” Taako said, putting the necklace on. It didn’t fit with the whole ‘flour-covered apron’ look he had going on, but Taako made it work. Taako always made it work.
Kravitz sighed in relief. “Well, if that’s it, I should probably get going.”
“Hold on a second, there’s still an issue we gotta deal with. Lup, could you uh, check out the customers out front, see how they’re doing?”
Lup looked at him, then Kravitz, then back at him. She sighed and put her wand back in her pocket. “Only because you helped me with Barry.”
Kravitz felt even more nervous with only one twin in the room. Taako eyed him up and down and Kravitz felt the need to stand up straighter under his scrutiny.
“So I take it you’re gonna be back tomorrow, yeah? You thinkin’ of going as a bird again or what?”
Kravitz cleared his throat. “No. I’d like to avoid… all of this from happening again. Thanks for taking my offer, and sorry again for… everything.”
Well damn. This guy was way too sweet. Taako was beginning to feel bad for taking advantage of the guy. What he gave them was way more than enough to cover the three cinnamon rolls he dropped. Lup would probably feed them to the birds anyway. Taako sighed dramatically, prompting Kravitz to cock his head to one side as if he’s trying to figure out if he said something wrong. Damn, he was cute. Taako strode over to the tray of cinnamon rolls and tossed Kravitz one.
“Here, since you like those so much. Look, I’ll be real with you. Since you have like no understanding of money whatsoever, I’ll be nice and let you know that this,” he gestures to the necklace, “is way more expensive than a few cinnamon rolls. Now, I’m deffo keeping it, but I figured since you’re such a hungee boy I’d make you something even better.”
Kravitz’ eyes widened and a barely subdued smile crept onto his face. “Like a chocolate cake?”
At that, Taako sported his own lopsided grin. “Yeah, fuck it. I was gonna go for dinner, too. Make a night of it y’know.”
“Taako, I-” he paused to consider his next words. “Thank you. You really don’t have to do this you know.”
“I know, there is no end to my generosity, is there?” Taako turned and searched the top shelf, pulling out a pen and clicking it a few times before walking over to Kravitz. “You got a phone, homie?”
He didn’t wait for an answer before he started scrawling his number on Kravitz’ palm. “No, but I’ll send a raven.”
Taako paused in his writing and looked up to give him another look of utter confusion and disbelief. He was met with a shit-eating grin. Taako rolled his eyes and continued writing. “You ass.”
Kravitz laughed at his own joke like a dork, and also maybe a little bit at how the pen tickled his hand. “I’ll be sure to bring you something pretty.”
Taako definitely wasn’t opposed to that. His wardrobe needed some upgrades, but he was literally doing this because Kravitz got him something too pretty. Well, that and because he’s hot.
“Just bring your cute face and you’re all set, then. Anyway, text me later, I’ll give you the details, cool?”
“Yeah,” Kravitz said, looking at the number written messily on his hand. “Cool.”
“Alright, it’s a date. Now get out of my kitchen.” Taako said, pushing him out the back door.
Even as he was being shoved out, Kravitz felt a smile, wide and genuine, on his face. That went better than he could’ve ever expected. The back alley he found himself in was a perfectly private place to portal himself back into the Astral Plane. He went to his quarters before his Queen could tease him about the dopey smile that had no plan on leaving his face any time soon. He sat at his desk and added Taako’s contact to his phone. He held the phone to his chest as he swiveled from side to side in his office chair. Then he stopped and slammed his hands on the desk.
“Wait, did he say date?”
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