#this shit fucking SUCKS
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***CW: Transphobia mentions, in regards to close family***
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Gotta say, one of the worst parts of distancing myself from an incredibly transphobic family member who just "loves" me SO much and refuses to view me any other way outside of my "true (old) self" because "You found Jesus once, and you'll do it again!" is the fact that I now get to miss out entirely on the lives of my niece and nephew who are too young to ever remember I even existed and who will be taught that the way I live my life (embracing who I am, rather than shaming it) is wrong and bad and sinful, and I'll be going to hell. Gods, honestly, it's depressing. It makes me incredibly sad, and frankly, I don't know what to do because NO ONE in my close family has my back. NO ONE. The transphobic person is my literal brother, but still, I'm the one in the wrong for not "sucking it up" and "sweeping it under the rug". I'm the one in the wrong for not pretending everything is ok and comfortable and as if he didn't yell at me about how ridiculous, manipulative, and wrong I am for about an hour when I tried to have a reasonable conversation with him (literally told him that I'm not trying to change his views, I just wanted him to respect my pronouns, as I didn't want a big conflict about it at that point, and he goes, "By asking me to respect you, you're trying to change my views"). Sure, it's all my fault, and now, I get to never be involved in the lives of my niece and nephew who will never know me as "Uncle Stag" and will only know me as "Stag" (they didn't even bother giving me a title, even before we had a falling out). I'm not my brother's sibling; I'm a fucking stranger.
#lgbt#lgbtq#trans#transgender#nonbinary#trans issues#this shit fucking sucks#had my mom get upset at me today ebcuase i couldn't view a video of my niece and nephew on FB#i have my brother blcoked there#vent post
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I’m going to be very upset about this for quite a while
#what’s the point of living in a cold fuck ass state if fucking OHIO gets better views of the aurora than I do#this shit fucking sucks#didn’t get to see the eclipse bc I was under anaesthesia#barely saw the aurora bc fuck Wisconsin ig
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Did anyone else forgot who they were and what their blog was about during this month 😅
#i had so many real life problems too#i had to delay my rent payment twice#and my car battery died#FUCK#this shit fucking SUCKS#never grow up kids#arcane fandom#arcane#arcane series#arcane season 2
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why am i crying over a man rn
#i can never just be wanted the way i want someone else#i’m never anyone’s first pick#this shit fucking sucks#personal
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So fucking tired of working from Monday to Saturday and barely having time for myself to do the things I enjoy.
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I’m going fucking insane holy shit
I swear I’m not a freak please talk to me 😭
#clincical depression#mentally disordered#crippling anxiety#im going insane#this shit fucking sucks#actually cptsd#just cptsd things
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i hate recovery!!!
#never have i felt more alone and useless#this shit fucking sucks#first part is likely hyperbole but still AUGH it sucks#i just... feel very isolateed from everyone else#it probably is a self inflicted isolation but still#wugh :<
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I think it goes without saying that we've been struggling so so much. Our ptsd symptoms have increased quite a bit. We've uncovered some repressed memories and that's been super tough and painful and some of us have been having a harder time with it than others. The icing on the cake being seasonal affective disorder, trauma anniversaries from the season/holidays, and a terrible visit to my parents that proved to me dysfunction and abuse are still very much going on. We've been terribly depressed. I'll be lucky to make it out alive.
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somehow it’s already a bad chronic fatigue day today. fucking hell.
#sorry vent incomining#I’m just so tired of being tired#this happens every weekend and I hate it so much it’s like almost painful how bored and tired I am#I wanna do something different and engaging but the only thing that makes me feel better is playing video games for hours on end#this shit fucking sucks#I’ve been art blocked for like two months#finally just drew something yesterday for a friend#it was fun and I wanted to draw more today but now I’m exhausted#all I want to do is sleep but naps don’t even help#seasonal depression is fucking killing me this year man#idk what it is but jesus
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love logging in to tumblr on smartphone
@staff
#this shit fucking sucks#tumblr staff what’s happening#tumblr staff#you forget to snooze tumblr live and this is how life treats you
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i think im really lonely again
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i think. i may die
#this shit fucking SUCKS#my ac has been on full blast all night and i’m still sweating#feeling v jealous of everyone w functional central ac#my window unit is like 🥵🥵 idk how much longer i can keep doing this chief!!!!#good thing i have 3 cold beverages#smoothie for sustenance#iced coffee for caffeine#and body armor for hydration#<- guy who cried so much last night and is so sweaty today
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chronic pain can take a long walk off a short pier
#personal#shut up ace#chronic pain#this shit fucking sucks#i am literally crying it hurts so bad#i cannot breathe and i almost threw up#but there are absolutely 0 painkillers in this house#so i have no relief
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i’m literally watching the wage gap develop between me and my coworkers in real time
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Also can I say, as a Floridian, that this is how that ammendment was worded on the ballot??? So anyone who went in kind of unaware or unsure was met with this horribly biased explanation.
just wanted to say that i'm seeing headlines everywhere say "floridians rejected an amendment to secure abortion rights" and that is NOT TRUE.
we voted ~57% to enshrine abortion rights in the florida constitution. amendments for our state require a supermajority, aka 60% to pass. this is bullshit and we were set up to fail.
the entire time, our governor Ron Desantis' officials were pressuring and threatening media outlets for publishing anything supporting this amendment.
don't believe the bullshit headlines. floridians wanted abortion rights.
#its fucking bleak out here but people here do care like#this shit fucking sucks#but with the super majority and with thisnfucking blurb??? its so crazy#florida#not to mention the amenent specifically said it would not change laws about parents of minors having to be informed ??#like the nonsense and fearmongering and bias in the ballot blurb my jaw dropped when I opened my sample ballot
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I MISS MY EX
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