#this ship is so fucking funny i need someone to talk at me about it

[kacievvbbbb]

Okay so I’ve spent the last couple days on Twitter (@kacievvbbbb if you wanna join me 👀) just fucking yapping about my new found obsession with the idea that Mihawk not only reads but is an active and well loved contributor to the pirate smut genre all across the blues. And I just needed to bring this to tumble to get more thoughts on it.

Here are mine;

- he obviously writes under a pseudonym would be funny if it was an anagram of like Worlds Strongest Swordsman or something.

- he writes essentially y/n fanfiction but he is always the reader.

- he is heavily perfectionist about his detailing of things like bodice ripping and that has lead to many a fun night for Shanks as he discreetly tries to rest just how exactly a bodice ripping would look and feel. Or if this sex position is even plausible.

-this one was a combined effort between @Dior and myself but he writes all the lovers as much more of an active participant in sex than the pillow princess himself actually is and this is because he thinks he is putting in exactly the same amount of work into sex as Shanks is which is laughable.

-Benn features heavily in alot of these RHP smut books. Benn

-He mostly writes RHP smut but he will branch out to other pirates like Crocodile maybe Doffy 👀. This gives Shanks heart palpitations when he finds out all this smut has been written by Mihawk.

- Mihawk almost kills both himself and Shanks by drowning the first time he finds out that Shanks knows about his little hobby.

- Shanks regularly requests they try something from the book and Mihawk has to stomp down the urge to throttle him. But again Mihawk’s reader is a much active participant in sex than he is and he is not a fan of all this work he has to put in even though he enjoys the results. Shanks is highly amused.

- Shanks for the first time in his life becaomes an avid reader with a habit and this confuses everyone that doesn’t know what he is reading and suffers Benn greatly who does.

- Shanks is lowkey very into the stories where the “reader” has sex with other men. He starts setting plans in motion.

- Mihawk also collects a lot of pirate smut a lot of it is about himself as well and this is his equivalent to jerking off. His next favorite people to read about are of course Shanks, Cricodile he is ashamed of just how much Doflamingo smut he owns. Lowkey maybe some King smut too.

- a contribution from someone on Twitter tha I live is that he also grades said smut about himslef and then sends the notes to the authors.

- he pseudonym is well known and well lived in the community.

-this is infact where more than half of his riches comes from.

- yes he also does read marine porn. He steers clear of anything that even remotely mentions garp tho. His favorite marine to red about is Sengoku I don’t fucking know 😭. I can just imagine him seating in warlord meetings shipping Sengoku with random fucking marines and pirates as he is trying to talk about very serious business

- he sure write the well known and well loved “the red haired emperor & me” series which is published in Morgan’s magazine or whatever and Shanks always seeks him out no matter where he is and fucks him good and hard everytime a new chapter goes out.

- he continues to do this while at Cross Guild Buggy and Crocodile are non the wiser. His crocodile descriptions start to get more detailed a clown pops up every now and again in his writing Shanks might be on the verge of a heart attack.

- shanks is a little too invested in the situation some (Benn) would say.

[jade-of-mourning]

combine their vocabularies and together they could say a lot of superfluous things!

[hauntingblue]

Them doing a photo lineup of the mugis for the battle and when it's Robin's turn she just turns and does a blue eyed stare at the camera 😭😭

Look at her 😭😭

[nygleskas]

just remembered how parks is a mockumentary and how there's talking heads and a camera recording everywhere. how in certain scenes you could see lingering glances while the other isn't looking or little movements that could mean something (like laughing at a joke and slightly touching someones arm) or smiles that get hidden btwn me and jean .

[yourfourthparent]

love seeing posts that are like "i block people who like/post about/do this" and it's something i do from someone i have interacted with multiple times

[snowstained]

one piece characters after a fight (it was their fault)

includes: fighting, shitty apologies (that get corrected), sanji groveling, gn reader, me being too lazy to proof read

characters: zoro, sanji, crocodile, buggy

zoro

won’t actually apologize at first. he knows when he fucks up, but he refuses to admit it because of his ego. you’ll walk into your room to find your favorite snack, a new clothing item, shoes, etc. on your bed as his “apology”. unfortunately, a gift is not an “i’m sorry” and you don’t care about shattering his ego temporarily.

you walked into your room and sat on the bed was a soft, high quality sweater with a cute design that was basically made for you. it so happened that you and zoro got into a pretty big fight last night. you were training together and zoro took your weight from you, took off a couple rings, and handed it back, “you’re way too weak for that much, taking more than you can handle is just gonna result in failure”. ohhhh he had done it. you immediately got offended and blew up at him, going at it for a solid half hour until you just gave up. you marched over to zoro, shoved the sweater into his hands, and demanded an apology. “say sorry, i won’t forgive you, much less accept the gift, until you say you’re sorry” you said, crossing your arms. “i didn’t do nothin’ wrong” he mumbled in response. you shook your head and walked away, deciding he had earned himself the silent treatment. “wait! wait, wait, okay hold on,” he said, and you paused. “okay, well, that was shitty of me and…” he huffed a little, “i’m sorry for calling you weak, i just wanted to look out for you, that was really rude of me. i’m sorry.” turning back around, you smiled, knowing you had finally won and beat the ego barrier. “apology accepted” you took the sweater back and gave him a kiss, and he looked so, so much less cocky now.

sanji

you and sanji don’t fight often, and when you do he is groveling at your feet BEGGING for forgiveness. he’ll cry and moan, offering gifts and services as a peace offering. it’s always a little fun to mess with when he really fucks up though. it also really does not take long for him to apologize, he hates making you upset.

while out shopping for groceries with sanji to restock, you decided to go to the fruit stand right outside the deli sanji stopped at. there were some new fruits you had never tried in the mix, and you were sampling some of them. dragonfruit, rose apples, rambutans, they were so good! while sampling a lychee and thinking of a dessert you could make with it, you overheard your boyfriend talking to someone. you turned around to see him hitting on someone entering the deli on his way out, heart eyes and all. “i’m sorry, could you hold my order for a few minutes?” you asked, glaring in sanji’s direction, “i need to take care of something, i’ll be back in an hour or less” you stomped over to sanji, the fruit stand owner having a ‘yeah he’s fucked’ look on their face. you grabbed your boyfriend by the shoulders and spun him around, “sanji, my dearest. what the actual fuck is wrong with you?! flirting with someone else, especially when i’m only 20 feet away from you? have you no shame? no class? the audacity is amazing me.” sanji managed to stutter out a few “uh, i uh, uhm”s but failed. you dragged him back to the ship, threw him in the kitchen, and went back to grab your fruit and everything else on your shopping list alone. sanji was not getting let off easy today. when you came back, sanji was sitting in a corner of the kitchen crying. seeing you, he immediately ran to you, kneeling at your feet. “i’m sorry! that was mean, and stupid, and cruel, and gross, and dumb, and pervy, i’m sorry! i don’t deserve to be your boyfriend, i’m a no good dirty cook! please forgive me” he begged. you could tell he was truly sorry, but this was a little funny, and you were still mad. “no, not forgiven. your actions speak louder than your words, sanji. why should i forgive you?” you asked. sanji just sobbed more, “i’m so sorry! i love you so much, nobody is better than you! you’re the most stunning, most beautiful, most sexy, more gorgeous, most cute person in the world! i’ll do and get you anything you want, anything!” nah, you liked this too much. “hmm… keep begging, this is fun.” you said. that went on for a longgg time before you forgave him… and gave zoro some bullying material.

crocodile

he’s aware of when he does something wrong and makes it a quick apology with a LAVISH gift. on the few times he really made you angry/upset, he took you on a vacation or made an insane purchase for you.

crocodile had been gone for months, eleven to be exact. normally you’d still have regular communication via transponder snail, but he hadn’t called you or picked up your calls in almost two months. you grew so sad and lonely, having only house staff to talk to. you hadn’t gone out at all either, just staying at home passing time by reading or doing art. it had been officially eleven months and sixteen days since he had been gone when you were having tea with one of the guards and discussing your latest read. you both had started reading books at the same time like a mini book club to keep you occupied. then, your husband barged into the room. “sweetheart, i’m so happy to see you. missed you, c’mere and give me a hug” he said. you just froze up and the tears came without warning. all you could do was break down in your seat, teacup dropping from your hand onto the saucer, spilling onto the table. the guard immediately began to clean up the spill while crocodile just stared at you, shocked and just confused. “hey, hey, i’m sorry. i thought i’d be home sooner, or have time to visit. baby, please, i-“ he stopped, placing a hand on your shoulder and rubbing circles as you sobbed. you were sad, angry, and happy all at the same time. you were upset, but grateful to see him. “i thought- i thought you died! you didn’t call or- or write to me and…” you continued to break down. crocodile picked you up, making sure to pause to know if you’d be upset or not if he did, and carried you to your shared bedroom. the whole time he gave apologies and comfort to you. after sitting you down and letting you cry into his chest for a bit, he had you stay seated and re dressed you into your favorite comfy clothes. he laid down beside you, and you laid on his chest sniffling while he pet your hair. after a bit of silence, he spoke again “i’m sorry, my sweet angel. i didn’t mean to scare you so bad, i got really busy, i should’ve made better time for you. i should’ve made you more of a priority like i normally do. do you forgive me?” he asked. you nodded your head as a yes, and he kissed it. the rest of the day you spent with him, cuddling and reading together. the next day, you woke up to one of the most thoughtful gifts he’s ever given. “i know you have the bananawani, but they’re not really great for cuddling or playing as adults. i thought you could use a companion for the times i can’t take you with, and for the times i can. here, they’re yours, name them” he said to you as you woke up to two sweet little kittens purring in your lap. “and i packed a bag for you and the kittens, we’re going on a vacation. i think we needed a second vacation home.”

buggy

he’s so weird with apologies. he’ll refuse to say sorry and pout like a child, but the second you take away boyfriend privileges he’s crying.

you and buggy fought semi often, but it was never bad. mostly you scolding him or saying i told you so. this was one of those rare moments where buggy actually made you angry instead of mildly irritated. buggy is a clown, a silly guy! a silly guy who likes pranks, and takes them too far sometimes. buggy thought it would be hilarious to use his chop chop fruit powers to trick you into thinking he actually got seriously injured in a fight. he came on deck limping, two crewman acting as crutches. one of his legs past the knee was missing, and it was dripping with blood. “holy shit! buggy! what happened?!” you screamed, rushing over to help. he acted like he was out of it and in pain, only mumbling replies that didn’t even make sense. you got him laid down, made a tourniquet out of his bandana, and began to wipe up the blood with a cloth you snagged. and slowly, you realized he was fucking with you. you dropped the rag and stood up, “okay, no, what the fuck is wrong with you?” you asked before storming away. “it was just a joke! it was funny!” he yelled. you avoided him for the rest of the day, and he knew he had really done it this time, but like hell he was admitting it. when it was time for bed, you were cozied up and watching a storm through your window. buggy entered the room, sitting down beside you and getting ready to cuddle up next to you, until you stopped him. “absolutely not, get out. you can figure out somewhere else to sleep tonight.” you said. buggy gave you a ‘huh?’ look. “haha, you’re funny. do you want me to put on some music? i got a new-“ you cut him off, “i’m serious, buggy. out, now.” his cheery expression dropped into an agitated one. “it was just a prank, calm down! it’s not my fault that you can’t take a joke!” he exclaimed. “i said out” you said, pointing to the door. he stopped, looking defeated. he began to walk over to the door, until he turned around all teary eyed and sad. “i’m sorry! please forgive me, really, i’m really sorry! i’ll never do it again, i swear!” he begged. after a little more, you gave in and fell asleep listening to the storm in his arms. and his snoring.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Some even even more little descendants incorrect quotes with mostly Glassheart/CharmingHeart

(and other ships)

Chad: Adulting is hard.

Chad: How do I quit?

Chloe: Time travel.

Red: Die.

(sheesh. Also CHAD! HIII)

---

Chad: So you’re dating Chloe?

Red: What? No! I’m just buying them an accessory since they have terrible fashion sense.

Chad: That’s literally a wedding ring.

(To be fair. Maybe they don't have wedding rings in wonderland, and Red is genuinely just buying her accessories. But not because Chloe doesn't have style. She just wants to give Chloe stuff.)

---

Cinderella: Red, when’s your birthday?

Red: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

Chloe: …So we know when to wish you a happy birthday.

+

Chloe: You have some serious intimacy issues

(canon)

---

Chloe: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

Chad, stirring their coffee: I prefer it with salt.

(he would never admit he's wrong. He'd just word his way around it)

---

Chloe: How stupid do you think I am?!

Dizzy: You really want an honest answer to that?

(Chloe is oblivious to her attraction to Red. Their fighting is actually flirting)

---

Chad: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window.

Chloe: ...We're on the ground floor.

Chad: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

(Go off drama king ✨)

---

Chad: Ow!

Dizzy: What’s wrong?

Chad: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.

Dizzy: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

(canon. Also oof)

---

Computer: Please enter a password.

Chad: *types in Chloe*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Chad: How fucking DARE YOU-

(Slay big brother. He knows what's up)

---

Audrey: Hey!

Chad: What do you want?

Audrey: Remember what we were talking about yesterday?

Chad: Nope.

(Yes king. Stand your ground. keep away from her)

---

Audrey: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.

Chad: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.

Audrey: They're not.

Chad: Haha, very funny.

Audrey: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?

Chad: No... what happened?

Audrey: ...Why would you fall for this again-

(I think that's what they were talking about. And he's mad)

---

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Audrey: Would never stab anyone.

Chloe: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Dizzy: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Celia: Would stab without warning.

Red: Would stab as a warning.

+

Chad: It depends, I guess

(the charming siblings +cousin and their girlfriends)

---

Chloe, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need—

Red: A family.

Audrey: A better love life.

Celia: Mental stability.

Dizzy: Money

Chad: *clueless* Bagels?

(... yeah-)

---

Chloe: Go to hell!

Red: Where do you think I come from?

(Wonderland basically is Hell with The Queen of Hearts)

---

Dizzy: You got a date yet Celia?

Celia: No...

Dizzy: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

(Slay ✨🙏. Which I had that confidence)

---

Dizzy: Hey Chloe, wanna third wheel on my date with Celia tomorrow?

Chloe: Sure.

Dizzy: Red! Wanna third wheel on my date with Celia tomorrow?

Red: ..sure, I gues-

Dizzy: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!

Red & Chloe: ...

Chloe: Dizzy...

(You'll thank her later, Chloe.)

---

Dizzy: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator.

Celia: Yup.

Red: Maybe the generator is watching us.

Chloe: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added?

Dizzy: ...

Dizzy: Wait—

(Oh no. They found out! Got to run!)

---

Hope you liked it!

I ship Chad and Audrey as Exes

Also I want Chad and Chloe interactions in the next movie. Would love it if Dizzy was also there.

Anyway

Byeeee

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Hi, I apologize if I'm being annoying but I love your shipping au and I was thinking of something and wanted to tell you

What if once the shipp that is most trending is MC x the worst possible noble of that country. Like, people notice mc has a lot of chemistry with glasya or bimet and instead of a king there is now a whole thread talking about how mc should stay with the noble instead of the king? I think it would be really funny

Oh, I love this. Mc that has terrible taste in men is so real.

*Glasylabolas posts a photo of him kissing Mc*

Glasylabolas: Task failed succesfully

Foras: I'm glad you like the dead so much because there's no way you're going to keep on living after this

Barbatos: I'm preparing the candles

Glasylabolas: It's fineeeeee I made it so only people that follow me can see it. His majesty Leviathan doesn't follow anyone.

Dantalian: BROOOOOOOO THIS IS SO COOOOOOL

Glasylabolas: I know, right? The child of Solomon is my significant other now. Everyone else can go cry about it.

Dantalian: You'll be sharing with your bestie, right

Dantalian: 🥹👉👈

Glasylabolas: Of course

Dantalian: Yepeeeee

Glasylabolas: Tell Ronové to check his dms

Dantalian: He's busy. We're in the middle of a battle

Glasylabolas: I don't care, I want to see if he has time in his scheduel for our threesome

Dantalian: wait... I thought I was your bestie!

Glasylabolas: I have many besties, Dantalian

Glasylabolas: Most of them from Abaddon. You people trully understand me

Dantalian: It's fine. Wanting to fuck corpses is tame. Just yesterday someone died from getting fucked by a horse.

Glasylabolas: Crazy

Dantalian: Can I have more pics with you and Mc? I want to make an edit

Glasylabolas: Absolutely, just send it to me directly

Dantalian: sure sure

*Glasylabolas posted 10 more photos*

Dantalian: wiat ill doiy when i grt homt

Glasylabolas: Are you having a stroke?

Dantalian: m typng wjth m feert

Glasylabolas: Pop off

5 hours later

*Dantalian posted an edit*

Dantalian: It's done!

Glasylabolas: This is great! Though why is the song "Be my bad boy"

Dantalian: Because you're the bad boy and Mc is the badass dom

Glasylabolas: They haven't dommed yet

Dantalian: yet

Gamigin: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??????

Paimon: It's not even photoshopped... Glasy, how could you?!

Eligos: Nooooooo out of all the bad decisions, Mc made the worst one

Amon: I think I just lost my appatite for the next century

Dantalian: Come on, guys, it's not that bad!

Amon: @Gamigin are there any free beds in Paradise Lost? I think I need emergency medical attention

Gamigin: I'll send Buer over

Amon: Thx

Eligos: This is fucking outragous

Paimon: My main question is how Glasy is still alive

Foras: @Glasylabolas I think you should brace yourself

Gamigin: What happened?

Barbatos: Hi guys!!!! So, his handsome majesty Leviathan took care of everything. His last words were "This is hot"

Gamigin: Is he dead?

Paimon: Good

Dantalian: He was a good devil.

Dantalian:

Dantalian: Stay strong, brothers

Foras: He's not dead, just unconcious

Paimon: Bumeeeer

*This forum has been terminated at the request of his majesty Leviathan*

[kimio7]

Fics that defined my love of f1 rpf

In celebration of literally nothing actually, i bring you a fic rec list of some of my favourites!!! very condensed (100+ -> 15 not even including tumblr fics) and im kinda sad i cant put all of my favs down lol but these are like my must reads!!

pleaseeee read these if u havent already its all amazing even if you dont vibe with the ships themselves

Strollonso:

silver platter by atwater | E | 9k

Literally the first fic I've ever read and basically got me into this fandom (and ship). Theyre both so unhinged and amazing it's a very fun read. Probably the best written lance ive every read.

Make Sound by antimonyandthyme | E | 1k

Makes me so fucking insane no notes this is just amazing oh my god

I make two grand an hour by Kaytheologie | E | 3k

Literally so hot and so amazing. lance is so bitchy in this one is great. amazing writing and amazing premise, literally inspired me to sketch out something right after (might finish it at some point)

Sewis:

provenance by ecorone | M | 18K

Literally the fic that introduced and made me fall in love with sewis. it wrecked me like i still havent recovered at all. the writing itself is just, i vibe to it so much

The Numbering at Bethlehem by Kaytheologie | E | 26k

might be one of my favourite fics, ever. what a masterpiece genuinely the environment is just so immersive and lush. ive reread it a dozen time and it never gets old

Brocedes:

you're my purple candy high by nothoughtsjustvibes | M | 5k

baby's first brocedes 🥹 started my love affair with emotional destruction. ruined me when i just first read it and ruined me every time after that. The writing is so profound and laid out their tragedy bare.

the torture of small talk with someone you used to love by finedae | T | 2k

baby's first nico fic!! it also destroyed me!! i think this is the one that made me join f1br bc i was just so obsessed with the writing i needed to know what the author was like lol.

3344:

special research vessels by ecorone | M | 15k

listen i thought this ship wouldve been more popular than it is LOL or at least not as hated. regardless, i love this fic so much. I love the environment, I love the dialogue, the characterization, everything. It's just such an amazing reading experience

matchstick people by ecorone | E | 60k

if you havent noticed by now, im obsessed with this author. the prose, the characterizations, how beautifully the magical realism of it all was realized. horror as a genre is so underutilized in fanfics as a whole but when its done, its done amazingly. love love love

Others:

crude generalisations and vulgar simplifications by crescenteluce | E | 14k | Alexander Albon/George Russell

This fic is THE galex fic for me. it so funny and the writing is so witty its just fun to read. love the way the environment is constructed and it everything just feels so real. amazing

it's more than I can bear: this interminable want, turning and turning. by Anonymous | E | 2k | Fernando Alonso/George Russell

The vibes are rancid, the ships are niche, the writing is good. what more do you need? i love reading this and i love thinking about this.

Amen by sirius | M | 9k | Fernando Alonso/Lewis Hamilton

THE ferwis fic is my mind and mad me unreasonably obsessed with this ship. its so well written- like i love the characterization so much it makes me insane.

on golden sands bysionisjaune | T | 6k | Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg/Sebastian Vettel

Listen, this and the ships that go sailing are both just amazingly entertaining fics. its objectively such a good read and i enjoy spending my time reading it. its just so fun!

steal the air out of my lungs (make me feel it) by nahco3 | E | 26K | Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen

My favourite medical au fic!! ever!!! everything is just so well realized and the characterization is just spot on!! love everything about this fic and nothing i say can fully explain how amazing this fic is!!!

Shutter Speed byantimonyandthyme | E | 18k | Sebastian Vettel/Mark Webber

got me into photography lol. made me purchase my first actual camera. dont know what else to say its just that amazing

[beauty-and-passion]

TBOB PART 3: OF BILL'S SOLITUDE AND BILLFORD (1/3)

What can I say? I’ve always loved the canon ship in almost every fandom I was in.

Welcome, everyone. Welcome to the third part of my endless rambling about Bill Cipher, The Book of Bill and Gravity Falls in general. Now it’s time for the ship, so sit back and relax, because there is a lot to talk about here.

Yes, I was one of the people who shipped these two eight years ago. And I shipped them as soon as I finished watching the series, because… well, there was more than enough proof that something was going on between them.

Unfortunately, the mentality at the time was “Bill tries to kill Dipper as soon as he has the chance? True love. One trillion proofs that Ford and Bill have something going on? How dare you think that, you are a Bad Person™”.

And yes, I know I could’ve written one post years ago and tried to explain Billford back then but… it would’ve been so, so tiresome. Especially considering that pedophilia was a-okay, but Billford shippers were terrible people Because Yes.

But hey, times change, people change and TBOB gives us enough proofs even a blind person can see them. So. it’s finally time to extensively talk about this ship - this time, from Bill’s point of view.

(For the disclaimer and everything else, refer to the first post. And read the previous ones too, if you like! They will help you understand some things I take for granted here.)

<- Previoust post - Masterlist

_______________________________

Billford has always been canon

The thing is: now as then, Billford has never been a ship about “and they ended up happily ever after”. There was never an intent to glorify abuse or to say that Bill and Ford had the healthiest relationship and everyone should have the same.

What was so captivating of this ship was the tragedy of it. The clearly evident infatuation. The obsession these two had for each other.

This is what pushed people (me included) to ship them: because it’s interesting. The dramatic possibilities, the angst, how deeply an obsession can go to the point you lose yourself to your partner… and yes, of course also the interesting images that can come up by imagining such different beings having something physical (if you’re not a coward and give Bill a human form). It’s not the typical fluff with a couple being lovey-dovey 24/7: it’s a lot more. There is a lot that can be explored. It’s wonderfully challenging, both on the writing plane and purely mentally.

… and yes, it's funny for crack and parodies. These two being cringe and pathetic or married and divorced at the same time is always funny.

Sure, at first we had just the show to support this ship. But oh boy, if there weren’t enough proofs already:

Ford’s house was filled to the brim with images, pictures and stuff of Bill. His goddamn windows are triangular-shaped. Not even the Vatican is filled with so many images of God - and I can assure you the windows are not Jesus-shaped.

Ford made a deal with Bill to be together “from now until the end of time”. Until the end of time. That’s basically a marriage, only even more extreme, because fuck death, we will be together until the last supernova evaporates. And before you ask: yes, it takes such a stupidly long amount of time, it’s bonkers. That’s real infatuation.

Ford consensually gave his body to Bill for possession. Just imagine the sheer trust you need to surrender your whole self to someone else. Not even a married couple can reach this level of trust. And definitely not “just friends”. Maybe BDSM couples can come a bit closer to what these two had.

As soon as Ford returned home after 30 years, Bill greeted him in a dream, called him “his old pal” and was all nice and friendly. No hard feelings, no reprimands, nothing but flattery and threats because, as we learned from TBOB, these two things go together in his head.

Bill asked Ford to join him 200 times more or less.

Bill gave Ford 200 nicknames more or less.

During Weirdmageddon, right after Ford tried to kill him with one of the things that could’ve destroyed him (the quantum destabilizer), Bill welcomed him with a smile, offered him a place among his freaks for the umpteenth time and, when Ford refused again, he turned him into his literal golden trophy wife and carried him around.

By comparison, when Preston Northwest offered his help, Bill shuffled the function of every hole in his face and ignored him completely right after.

Also: Ford tries to shoot me and fails by sheer luck? Please please please, be one of my freaks. Dipper tries to throw me a punch that will literally do nothing? Death. Bill doesn’t have double standards, nope nope.

To convince Ford to give him the equation, Bill’s first thought is to bring Ford into a private suite, serenade him and ask him to join him for… what? The 220th time?

When Ford refuses, Bill puts chains on him in the kinkiest possible way known to mankind, with an iconic image that screams of BDSM.

Somehow, all of this wasn’t enough. And so, we had Journal 3, in which:

Ford called Bill “his Muse”. Oh, my mistake: he called Bill “his blessed Muse”.

Literally lavishes Bill with compliments. So. Many. Compliments.

Says Bill will “seduce” you with never-ending flattery. Interesting verb choice here, Ford, are you sure there’s nothing else you want to tell us?

Ford named a constellation after his Muse.

Once he went through the portal, instead of hiding away forever and good luck finding him, Ford held a 30-years-old grudge and decided HE would’ve killed Bill, no one else. That’s not a simple obsession between friends.

But after all of this, something was still missing.

Until now, it was quite certain that Ford had a COLOSSAL obsession about Bill. The religious fervor, the sheer trust, the depth of his grudge all made it very clear that Bill carved a deeply rooted place in his heart and mind - a place he kept for most of Ford’s life.

But what about Bill? Did he even care about Ford?

We had no idea. Sure, he showed some kind of care: he gave Ford special treatment during Weirdmageddon and seemed to value him enough to offer him a place among his freaks multiple times.

But when did this care start? Was it just because he needed Ford? What about their pre-betrayal relationship? Did Bill even care before?

The most plausible explanation at the time was that pre-betrayal Bill was simply flattered by Ford’s lavish adoration. Maybe he liked the guy a bit (otherwise, why waste time with him?) and humored him in his fervor, but nothing more than that.

But then the betrayal happened and Ford switched from adoring him to opposing him. He actively ran away, found ways to keep Bill away from his mind and came back with the sole intention of killing him.

At the time, I thought this was the moment when Bill started to be truly interested in Ford. Before Ford was just an adoring pet. Now he was more. Now he was interesting. Now he was worthy.

And that opened the door to even more angst possibilities! If Billford was just a “one-sided relationship” before, now it could’ve been the story of two beings who loved/cared about each other, but at different moments in time: Ford in the past, when Bill didn’t love him yet. And Bill in the present, when Ford wasn’t in love with him anymore. The perfect tragedy, ton of angst, love that.

But now, with TBOB and thisisnotawebsitedotcom, the tragedy that is Billford gets a new, angst layer. A beautiful, angst layer.

Because it’s not that Bill never cared about Ford or cared at the wrong moment in time: Bill cared right from the start.

_______________________________

Deeply alone

One detail about TBOB that people aren’t talking too much about is the sense of solitude that permeates it. There are parts in which you can literally feel Bill’s loneliness.

One example? The Bill Tells All section. I know it’s supposed to be a funny parody, but it’s also a perfect image of how alone he is. He’s so alone, he has to be host, interviewee and audience at the same time, because no one else is willing to listen or talk to him.

And in light of the information we got about his past, I think this is an extremely important part of Bill’s character and personality.

Let’s come back to Euclydia: the anthem/poem on the website emphasizes how close people are (“LOVED ONES WILL BE EVER NEAR”), so it’s very possible Bill grew up surrounded by his loved ones.

And then, one single event and everyone disappeared. All the people who surrounded him one second ago, were gone the second after. “There was no one left but me, covered in blood, alone in the universe.”: if this line means solitude for us, just imagine how much, much stronger that same solitude would be for someone who, until that moment, has always been surrounded by others and knew no other reality than that.

That’s another level of solitude: it’s a black void of emptiness, something all-encompassing and all-consuming. It’s a hole carved inside you that nothing will fill ever again. And it was you, the one who carved it.

Of course Bill became insane. Of course he chose to find a justification for his action, by saying that he liberated his dimension and that his people were holding him back. I don’t know what he would’ve done, if he hadn’t. Probably, he wouldn’t have found a way to survive.

But he survived. He repressed his trauma, justified it and kept going towards the stars he was aiming for.

Still, that void was inside him - and we know he tried to fill it. He tried by dating a literal void, for god’s sake. And he tried by surrounding himself with people.

That’s probably why he became who he is: a flashy, flamboyant figure, someone who loves to be the center of attention, because that means having people around. It means people listening to him and being with him and surrounding him again. It means not being alone again.

I mean, just look at this book: every page has something new and interesting, every page is a different attempt to keep you involved, to keep you around and listen.

But an audience can always leave. An audience can stop being around. And that’s probably why Bill searched for someone closer, someone who wouldn’t leave him so soon.

He searched for new loved ones.

_______________________________

Love and hate

Bill’s love advice put a real smile on my face, because sure, they’re funny, but at their foundation, they all share the same goal: to show to your potential partner your qualities and how you would be able to carry/provide for them and your offspring.

Why is it so funny? Because that’s exactly what every single living being does to attract a potential mate: showing off your colorful feathers, singing louder than others, fighting other rivals, showing how clever you are, using pheromones and special smells. And, for humans, something like, idk, showing how wide your hips were as proof that you would carry healthy babies. Or showing off how wealthy you are, to prove you can take care of your partner and your offspring.

Bill himself follows this mentality, considering advices like “have two of everything to show your wealth” or “show how much calcium you have (aka how healthy you are)”. Heck, he even has a seduction hat which is basically one huge phallic shape!

And, again, this makes me smile, not just because it’s a clear parody of those men who keep showing off their huge, large vehicles. But also because he usually wears a tall top hat. And how funny it would be, if a tall top hat was indeed a way to win a partner in Euclydia? What if that’s how his father got his mother? Please, I want a fanfic or Mr. Cipher entering a place with a top hat big and wide enough to win Mrs. Cipher’s heart (while not accidentally piercing through another shape). I bet it would be hilarious.

Funny love advice aside, I would also point out these two things Bill says:

Love and fear are right next to each other in the brain and, like most humans, Bill also can’t tell the difference (he doesn’t even think there is a difference)

“love is the pupa stage for hate”

The fact Bill mixes love and fear explains why he is like that in general - and with Ford too. If love and fear are the same thing, then there is no difference between flattering someone and threatening them. There is no difference between partying with his friends and scaring the shit out of them. There’s no difference between helping Ford and hurting him. And there’s no difference between allowing him to see Fordtramarine and “joking” about someone coming to steal his eyes.

Also: if “love is the pupa stage for hate”, then Ford coming back after 30 years hating him was completely normal for Bill. It was just how things were supposed to go: first he loved him, now he hates him. Still, same thing. Still worth a place among his freaks. Still worth flirting. For Bill, nothing has changed - just evolved in a natural way.

And yes, this is uber duper fucked up and great material for toxic Billford. But it also makes me think: how did Bill get this mentality? How did he manage to mix love and fear so much? When did it happen?

Inevitably, I think about Euclydia. And inevitably, I think that “the incident” is when Bill mixed the two things.

When he still lived in Euclydia, Bill clearly experienced both love and hate: his mother at least seemed to love him, the other kids didn’t. Bill doesn’t like his optometrist either and we have no clue about his feelings towards his father. Later in his life, Bill recognizes his family and his world tried to blind him/”snuff out his potential” - so, again, something more similar to hate than love.

Then, Bill destroyed his place. He had to deal with a trauma so huge (i.e. experiencing solitude for the first time in his existence), it left a void inside him. A void he decided to suffocate with lies - lies that, in the end, are just half-truths. His place was bad and his family was holding him back! But that was also the place that showed him love for the first time. His people were flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams! But among them, there was also the one who loved him right from the start.

I believe this is when the two feelings got mixed in his brain. In his attempt to justify and cope with his mixed feelings regarding the universe he just destroyed, Bill ended up mixing love and fear together and believing that love is just one stage of hate. Unable to deal with the vastity of solitude, Bill put together justifications for his actions and messed up his own perception of feelings.

The result is someone who is deeply, deeply alone and who desperately keeps searching for love to fill that void… but is unable to do that, because he cannot distinguish between love and hate anymore.

That’s why he has a lot of exes. And that’s why they’re all exes.

But hey, at least there are friends, right? Right?

_______________________________

Bill’s friends are full of potential (especially one of them)

The perfect friend for Bill should be:

alone, outcasted, rejected by society, possibly an orphan looking for a purpose in life (so exactly like him)

completely devoted to him

Which you can see by yourself that this isn’t exactly how a friendship should work. The friend exactly like you can still work, but the friend completely devoted to you who should do everything you want… well, that’s not a friend. That’s not even a pet, because even pets do not follow you around with such lavish adoration.

But somehow, in the vastity of the Multiverse, Bill managed to find some friends. And oh boy, what friends:

Pyronica is a beauty queen AND she has a twin sister AND she dated Hectorgon. Cool, but not enough. I need details. But, like, a lot. Her entire story would suffice (maybe).

Amorphous Shape is invisible to most of the Henchmaniacs. How? Why? Who is she, really? Where is she from? Where is her backstory? Why isn’t it here? I need it here.

Hectorgon was a goddamn sheriff and Bill just throws it like that?! I want his backstory too! I want to know everything about him!

Keyhole hates Pyronica? Why? What happened? Where is all the juicy gossip, Bill? We need the gossip!

And most importantly: a certain someone was part of Bill’s gang. Someone with a photo that has been covered, but it’s still partially visible. And as soon as I saw it, I jumped up on my bed and asked: “Wait… is this Jheselbraum?!”

The answer is yes and thisisnotawebsite confirmed it: she was one of Bill’s Henchmaniacs. And now the right question is: how much do you want The Book of Jheselbraum, from 1 to 10?

I mean:

In the partially crossed-out part about her in TBOB, Bill says she figured something related to dimensions

In the shaman page (TBOB) there is a code: WHICH HENCHMANIAC RATTED ME OUT

In Journal 3, Ford has been saved by her, who sucked him out of the 2D world of Exwhylia

Jheselbraum told Ford that Bill’s “thirst for power caused him to destroy his home dimension - including his parents and everyone else he’d ever known” (Journal 3)

Still in Journal 3, Ford says she spoke of Bill “without anger, but with a calm, steely, clinical resolve to see his reign of terror end”.

In addition to that, let me add this part from thisisnotawebsitedotcom under the code TANTRUM:

I KNOW YOUR CRIMES, CIPHER. TAKING A NEW HOME WILL NOT MAKE UP FOR THE ONE YOU’VE LOST. WHAT YOU DID TO THE COUNTLESS SOULS OF EUCLYDIA- Cipher stopped in his tracks. YOU CHOOSE YOUR WORDS VERY. CAREFULLY. Ciphers henchmen murmured amongst each other, confused. They seemed to have heard conflicting stories about Bill’s past. “You said you liberated the people of your dimension-” LIBERATED THEM FROM THEIR BODIES! DONT LISTEN TO HIM! HE’S A BABY!

Can you see how HUGE the potential is?

What I believe for now is that:

Jheselbraum figured out what Bill really did to his home dimension (i.e. destroying everything and not “liberating” it, as he said to his Henchmaniacs)

She started to actively find ways to stop him from doing the same thing again

She “ratted him out” with Bill’s new potential puppets on Earth

Bill found out she didn’t just rat him out, but found out the truth about Euclydia too and that’s what led to her escaping

She settled closer to a 2D world - maybe to learn more about Bill, maybe because she knew Ford would’ve appeared there

And speaking of that, we have the message on thisisnotawebsitedotcom under the code SEVENEYES:

This is something someone else wrote to her. Someone who told her to escape to a crossed-out Dimension (who guesses that the crossed-out thing was the number 52?). Someone who told her it was against the rules, but it was also the only way to escape him (aka Bill).

And from her code, you can find out the other criminals found new homes as well.

In other words, we have a hidden spy story, in which someone helped Jheselbraum escape from Bill and, in turn, she helped all others escape Bill.

If you don’t want a book about her, about her story as Bill’s henchmaniac and about this whole thing, you are a huge. Fucking. Liar.

_______________________________

And with that, let’s close part 1 of this umpteenth endless analysis. The next one will come soon and it will be all about Billford.

Yes, I know I already talked about Billford here, but we still haven’t talked about the details in TBOB and Bill’s perspective on it. Also, it’s always nice to talk about Billford.

See you soon~

-> Next post

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

📌TAGLIST: @mudpuddlenl @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @whatishappeningrightnow @effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling @payte @hypnossanders @idontreallyknow24   @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical @patton-cake-and-crofters​  @hereissananxiousmess @purplebronzeandblue​ @cynicalandsarcastic​ @lost-in-thought-20 @andtheyreonfire @riseofthewerewolf @rosesandlove44 ​​@arya-skywalker @csi-baker-street-babes @reesiereads @dracayd-universe @starlightnyx​ @stubbornness-and-spite @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing @thatoneloudowl @grayson-22 @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella @nevenastark @coldbookworm @boopypastaissalty @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside @snixxxsmythe @charmingcritter @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3 @the3rddenialist

[chaoticloving]

So... I had this funny request.. See.. What if Reader is a famous personality? Like they are an actor and a singer at an young age? Like they worked for movies like Harry Potter and marvel and then later on took singing as career option which resulted being an awesome choice as their music skyrocketed. So what if One directions manager arranged a collab with reader? And one direction was also a huge fan of her but Harry had a huge celebrity crush on reader which he had hinted alot of times in interviews which fans could see, reader didn't knew them well only that they were a famous band and she didn't knew their names too? as she was rather busy with her own stuff plus she didn't knew fans shipping her and harry? So when they all saw reader at the office because it was kept a surprise for them with whom they were gonna collab so Harry started fan girling? I mean it's just pure fluff and teen love?

Performance of a Lifetime

harry styles x reader

a/n: lil blurb for ya! changed it a bit! plus some cheesy h for you!

Harry’s never felt more excited in his life, entirely exhausted, but had that excited-about-to-vomit feeling inside of him while practicing this dance routine.

Its how all of one-direction was feeling at the moment. Wanting to drop dead like flys but not because they needed to impress a certain singer, joining them for a charity performance.

Y/n was a house-hold name, from a young age of being a child star, working her ass off to be taken seriously without being taken advantage of, she slowly dipped into the world of music before she started to become the face of the music industry. She was doing a joint performance with one-direction this friday as the headliner for the day.

Harry nearly fainted when his managers told him they were preforming with her; he also didn’t hesitate to go to dance rehearsals when asked too. He needed to make sure his performance was flawless but also needed to work up his abs—and by work up he means create.

This afternoon though, will be the first time him and be the rest of the band meet Y/n. Harry new he had some competition over winning the stars heart; both Zayn and Louis were trying suspiciously hard during rehearsal to outshine one another, and Harry hated every moment of it.

Soon enough though, they were out of the showers and changing into more professional clothing to meet the singer. Harry was tapping his foot, rehearsing how he was going to introduce himself and win over the girl.

“You ready?”

“Huh?”

Niall chuckled and wrapped his arm around Harry as they walked down the long hall. “You’re going to meet your celebrity crush! Big day for you.”

“I don’t have a celebrity crush-“

“Everyone has a celebrity crush. Mine in Selena Gomez.” Niall chided. “I think Zayn likes one of that Hadid girls, Liam likes Miley Cyrus, and Louis likes any celebrity that people say are nice—which I think is a good thing honestly.”

“How’d you know that then.” Harry sighed.

“You remember in X-factor days, those stair videos we did?” Harry nodded. “Someone asked who our celebrity crushes were, and I think yours is the only one that hasn’t changed.

Harry shook his head, ignoring and hoping that Niall is the only one stupid enough to remember whatever video. “But you saw Zayn and Louis in practice today? They were trying much more than normal, no way they don’t have a crush.”

Niall shrugged his shoulders. “She’s hot. Of course they do. I mean, if she talks to me and is nice I might.”

Harry shoved Niall off of him and groaned, speed walking away from his friend and trying to catch up to the rest of the boys.

“Wait up you dolt.” Niall yelled. “Don’t be stupid, I follow the girl code—I won’t date, flirt, or fuck your crush—and the bro code—I will hype you up. Scouts honor.”

Harry sighed. He was grateful for Niall’s help, really; but sometimes it gets a little carried away with matters of the heart.

“Hurry up ya pussys!” Liam shouted from the elevator, holding the door open for the boys. He got a smack from the manager, John, who gave him a stern glare for his word choice.

Harry and Niall got into the cramped elevator and watched as the doors closed. Harry watched the red numbers go up, slowly yet not stopping. He started worrying as he got higher and higher, it was less than five minutes until he meets his crush—he shivered at the thought.

The doors chimed and then opened. The boys pushed each other out, Zayn, Louis, and it seems now Liam were all extra eager to meet Y/n. John walked slowly behind the group, typing away on his phone.

The say the assistant who stood up when the men entered and made a gesture for them to follow her. She knocked on the door. “Y/n you’ve got your entourage here.”

“Entourage-“ Liam questioned, before the door swung open.

Y/n glanced over the boys, giving them a once-over, and then opened the door fully to let them in. “It’s nice to meet you all!” She chided, flashing a quick smile. “Come in! Come in!”

The women turned around and sat at the other end of a long table, filled with mood-boards, pictures, and tons and tons of sheet-filled binders. The rest of them joined on the opposite side. Harry didn’t miss the glance Y/n sent him, it wasn’t as confused as the last time though, it was more…curious.

Harry ignored that thought. He’s just being delusional.

“Alright so one-direction I can’t wait to preform with you all this weekend.” Y/n’s assistant handed her a clipboard, and she flicked through the pages. “I see the songs you want to preform, and I must admit, I’m not hugely familiar with your work and would like to go over them.” Her manager nudged her. “Sorry.” She sighed, clearing her throat. “I’d like to get to know all of you foremost.”

Harry blinked, but Liam didn’t. “My names Liam, huge fan of your work—both music and film. I sing, dance, date, you name it!”

“Alright nice to meet you-“

“I’m Louis. Raised in Doncaster. And I like your work too, especially that one song on your last album—the one that goes like “why not me la la—“

“Would it surprise you if I told you he’s a singer too.” Zayn smirked, hand on Louis’ shoulder to get him to stop. “I’m Zayn, and to make the rest quick that’s Niall and the one on the end is Harry.”

“Hello.”

“Hey.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you all. And I’m Y/n and quite frankly I’m ready to get to work.” The boys nodded in agreement, a little afraid. “So...Story of My Life.”

~

“Y/n how was it preparing for this event with a group of boys? Annoying I bet.” The interviewer asked.

Y/n and the boys were in their stage outfits, less then an hour left until their due on stage. Harry had on his black skinny jeans, and a grey tang top, his tattoos on display—trying to go for the edgy, bad-boy look. Y/n had on black baggie jeans and a tight, cropped bra-like shirt to match. Harry liked how they looked coordinated.

“It’s been a trip, honestly.” Y/n laughed. “I didn’t know much about one direction, but I like to think that that I’ve made some friends.” Y/n giggled as she pulled in Harry, her arm around his neck. Harry was quite shocked, first of all, he wasn’t apart of the interview, and second of all, she considered him a friend!

“Can you confirm Styles?”

“Oh yeah. We’re best friends at this point.” He delivered his million dollar smile (with a hint of desperation in there) and felt the heat from his blush on his cheeks rise up. “Nice break from those losers back there.” Harry pointed to the boys behind him, shooting the shit and trying to look better.

“How cute you two look! All matching! Was this on purpose?”

“Uhh.” Harry didn’t know what to say. Luckily Y/n saved him.

“Of course! Gotta have the main attractions coordinating!” She joked, leaning into Harry’s chest.

“How cute of a couple!” Harry’s jaw dropped and could feel Y/n freeze. “I’ve got the others to interview! Good luck!”

~~

How Harry got through the performance will forever be a mystery. How he will face Y/n again is an even bigger mystery.

After the interviews went on, more and more people questioned or reminded him of his relationship status with the star. He couldn't even get much of a break after the show because they swung into even more interviews, some better than others though.

Y/n acted odd though. Harry thought back to different relationships he has had with women he was friends with, none were this close to him, sometimes the hug here and there but never hand holding or arm around the neck constantly. Harry was getting mixed signals and was scared he was misinterpreting Y/n's actions. But the public eye, and his band mates, were always around watching him so it's not like much could be said without fear of someone knowing.

"Alright, I think that wraps up this interview. Next in two." Some manager said.

"Hey." Y/n whispered. Harry glanced around him, no one was near; the other boys sat on a separate couch from him and Y/n, and no praying ears were about.

"What?" Thats how you flirt Harry? Come on.

Y/n smiled though. "I just wanted to say I liked hanging out with you today."

"Really?"

"I wanted to know if you could hang out again, but without everyone else?"

"Like a date?" Harry gasped, voice not even a whisper.

"Yeah? If thats alright?" Y/n asked, looking at the dreamed out Harry who was rapidly blushing. "H?"

"Get ready boys!" ... "And Y/n."

"H were are almost live." Y/n reminded him, fixing herself up and then him. "Wanna answer?"

"Good afternoon-"

"Yes." Harry interrupted the interviewer, looking over at shocked Y/n. "Of course! I know this great place off of some road-"

Harry got knocked with a pillow by Niall, who gave him a rude look.

"Anything you wanna share mate?" The interviewer asked.

Harry smiled, finally looking where he should of been all this time, instead of the girl next to him. He nodded his head, held up high and straightened his shirt.

"I got a date."

[thestrangestthlng]

HOLY DOUBLE FUCKING DOWN BATMAN.

"Remember, this is not me backing down or being defensive." "Remember, this is not me apologizing?"

Babes, who are you talking to? Your little fucking friends who are just as problematic as you?

"Just because you were offended doesn't mean you were right."

Be so fucking for real right now. That is not for you to decide. You don't get to determine what is offensive to someone and say they're wrong. You do not get to tell people from communities that what they were offended by wasn't offensive. You do not get to determine whether or not someone else can be offended by your actions.

"I am not the creator of gay stereotypes."

No, you are not, but that doesn't not mean that you have to continue to give them life.

"they created it themselves." Re: stereotypes about queer hookup culture.

You do realize that straight people have a hook up culture, right? We'll get to that. Do you want to know why there are so many negative stereotypes about marginalized communities? I'll tell you. It's because of white supremacy culture and the patriarchy. White people in power made sure the seeds of these negative connotations were spread far and wide. Media creates those biases and creates the stereotype. Would you say the same thing about Black women and the Mammy and Sapphire stereotype? These are stereotypes that are mocked and negatively reinforced in culture for entertainment and oppression.

"Gay men, I'm sorry... [...] my bad, I thought that because gay men can joke about it, I can too."

It's not that you can't joke about it. The fact was it wasn't fucking funny and I will explain to you exactly why. When you are joking abut a marginalized community, or a demographic that you have a position of privilege over (which you do, as a bisexual woman) you have to PUNCH UP for the joke to be funny. You punched down, which made it an attack and not a joke.

"The hook up culture exists in every sexual orientation [...] so what are you even mad for."

It absolutely does exist with every sexual orientation, WHICH IS WHY YOU COULD HAVE LEFT OUT THAT WHOLE FUCKING PARAGRAPH WHERE YOU TALKED ABOUT GAY MEN ONLY BEING ABOUT THAT THING. (And I'm sure that you're not even old enough to get that reference.)

"The word "target" was part of the fun little dialogue I imagined in my head when I was explaining Tommy pov. It wasn't meant to be taken in a fun docu-series kinda way."

Just because it's not how you intended doesn't mean that isn't how it was received. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. You mocking this just really goes to show how ignorant you are.

"I'm bisexual."

Okay, and? The same way a gay man or a lesbian can be biphobic or make biphobic statements or actions, bisexual people can have queerphobic statements or actions. I explained this to you. Internalized phobias are a think too.

"Queer people are not untouchable."

No, they aren't. You can dislike queer characters, I know I dislike PLENTY. You can just be honest with yourself and be like "I don't like him because he's in the way of my ship." You don't have to prove anything you can just say you don't like him. You don't need to justify this, you can just be honest about it.

The problem is that the rhetoric that you are spewing is homophobic in nature. And when gay men and other queer people are telling you that it's offensive, it's offensive. You were explained to in detail why what you said was offensive, reductive, and dangerous. You just don't care. Your little friends are just in your ear backing you up.

Tommy is absolutely just a character. He will never see any of this shit, but people like him, will.

If after this, you still don't understand how you, a bisexual, can be homophobic or make homophonic actions, I don't know what to tell you.

[maxzinn]

off topic but also on topic its so clear that the genshin/star rail (saying both cause theres a large overlap) have no capability of thinking.

there are so many fics where *reader* somehow becomes a (sex)slave or is forced to do horrible shit and just general dead dove behavior. the fact that the author used INGAME LORE, CANON BACKSTORY FOR THE CHARACTER proves how braindead so many people are.

like people try to free slaves/captors in media isnt a new thing. theres a lot of art of that angelhusk ship where one gambles for the others freedom (never watched it but its an example)

like having slaves/captors in media isnt new and never has been but the only reason people truely care is because its a hoyoverse game and cant handle anything darker or complex then a PG rating

(sorry anon, I got carried away with this one tee-hee)

YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THIS!!! y'know I was sooo confused when people started screaming for blood when the authors are using his IN-GAME LORE in their fics and then claims that the people who enjoyed writing those have "white-knight syndrome" like cmon sjsadhjg you're giving me a fucking stroke.

I'll say it again, wanting to give slave aventurine or someone a better life DOESN'T mean they have "white-knight syndrome" when they have good intentions!!! We were all were crying for him and his tragic past, we all wanted to comfort him, and we at some point also wished for his salvation and the betterment of his life. These people need to stop throwing these "white-knight syndrome" accusations cuz it's definitely not about that. And like you said, it was his IN-GAME LORE. I already expected some authors to write about reader saving him from his slavery and there's nothing wrong with that! Cuz please, don't tell me you won't help the guy out of his abusive owner, let's be fr here.

Like you also said, many have been writing yandere/heavy dark themes about reader being literally SA'd and R'd by said character (do not tell me you guys haven't read all those fics where Aven was our debt collector and in paying our debt, he noncon or manipulated us into sleeping with him 💀) and now they wanna talk about morals?

And please, don't even try bringing up Romania or irl people in here. IT'S A FICTIONAL RACE IN A FICTIONAL STORY. it may be "inspired" like they said, but it's not directly addressing Romania!!

I get their point alright, I truly do. Like I said in my other post, I do not condone the sex slave! aus about aventurine and the master/slave bdsm cuz his story truly hurt me and I'm uncomfortable sexualizing his slavery when I know about his story and what happened to him as a slave. But I won't go as far as to actually send death threats to those authors and act like a hypocrite💀 people can write what they want to write and I don't have to read those writings if I don't wanna.

Just to say, I'm a yandere/dark-content enjoyer as well, it's just that I draw the line when it comes to aventurine cuz I just wanna cuddle and dote on that man and give him all the love and affection in the world. but like I said, am no hypocrite as well. (sorry if I can't explain it very well but I hope you get the gist of it)

It's just funny and baffling how people are like "eww this person wrote a fic about reader buying slave aventurine so they can be a good owner to him".... this is leaving me speechless how they turned an act with good intentions into something malicious... that poor author doesn't even have bad intentions when writing that fic.

When you apply their logic, it's like saying "this person adopted an abused child so that they can be a good parent to that child, disgusting" do they even realize how stupid they sound??? 😭

[pupmkincake2000]

Funny how I keep getting comments like this

And it's not that it's harmful,it's that it's just not right whatsoever 💀 all your reasons for them being together are faulty and are things shared between friends aswell.

So, the dude called me and my ship weird while (and I'll keep saying it nonstop) HankCon is the most harmless ship in this fandom.

Okay, we are not saying that people can't ship whoever they want, are we? Especially in this particular fandom? In which most of the ships have no logic behind them at all, yet people are quite fine with those just because they fit into people's standards of beauty and how guy x guy ships have to look like, in their opinion.

So my questions are like those I've seen on twitter: "why do people find it so hard to be silent haters? like genuinely? why is it so hard to see something you don't like and think "ew weird" without feeling the need to tell the person who likes it that you think its weird/bad/gross/wrong ??"

And here's the answer: It's because they need to feel like they have the moral high ground. Actual virtue signalling. Ewww you like this, here's why you're wrong.

And nobody was able to give me an open answer why HankCon seems so offensive to them. And we do not talk about age gap here, it is too ridiculous to bring this up as an argument even. We are not talking anbout father & son issue because canon relationship is still friends, any father & son as well as romance are headcanons. So why those who like father & son are supported and those who love romance and fucking between the character are hated?

In a fandom (with no canon ships, except maybe Kara x Luther) where people literally ship characters with everyone they want?

Someone on twitter also said that the massive increase in self-insert, kinning etc. has created parasocial relationships with fictional charas. It's always happened but it's more now. Any perceived attack (moral or otherwise) on the chara equals an attack on that person's identity.

But I doubt that's the only issue. Although the theory has its place, given the general infantilization of Connor, which, however, is immediately forgotten when people need him to be an adult.

If haters are here to spread morality and justice, why aren't they doing it in other fandoms? After all, as I've mentioned before, there is the Rick and Morty fandom where people ship a grandpa and a grandson and I've never heard of people hating on this ship. Why these people are not among those discussing, for example, the laws of Japan, where a man over forty can marry a sixteen-year-old (correct me if I'm mistaken) if it is really an age gap that bothers the haters so much? But for some reason they chose as a victim a harmless pairing that does not harm anyone and is not even as popular as it was before? Or the goal is to errase it from the fandom spaces completely? If so, I'd suggest those to go outside and touch the grass.

[aitadjcrazytimes]

It's been a good run

But it's time to bring this to a close!

The saga is over, C, T and I are all together. T and I are in the swing of it, C approves as much as it is possible for him to approve of anything, everyone knows about the blog and is chill.

C is back at his rightful place of walking his sister down the aisle.

I'm getting everything I want, and we're all free to make each other miserable until the day we die.

I'm not going to be updating this blog anymore! Nobody else involved with the situation will be submitting any more AITA posts either, because they are either not on tumblr or agreed it would be annoying.

I will say that there is some stuff on here that I've alluded to that isn't necessarily 100% in the spirit of things, so I've included some stuff below the cut for the folks who have caught onto that. I would not suggest reading it if you like how all of this played out and want to keep it that way. I know that's incredibly vague, but I'm not sure how to phrase it without making it weird?

Thank you all for listening and talking to me over the past few days! That's where I'm leaving it!

...

...

...

...Is everyone who wants to keep believing in the disaster polycule gone? Yes? OK!

So, this was fake. I made up the whole thing. TK and C and T and everyone else are fictional characters. Did I lie? Yes. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Q: All of it? Even the og AITA post? The followup AITA post? The screenshots?

A: All of it.

Q: Wh... Why did you do this...?

A: Well, first this all started as a Red vs Blue fanfic for the ship Chexer (Church/Tex/Tucker)-

It started as a fanfic for Chexer. However, I was already working on a different fanfic for RVB that was totalling about 15k words at this point (+ at least 90k to go), and I knew I would never have the time or energy to write this one. I thought: yknow. this would be really funny as an aita post.

Q: It was a fanfic of a Halo fanfic series.

A: Yep!

So, I submitted Tucker's perspective. I did not expect for it to get more than maybe 100 notes at most. I totally thought someone would call it out right away.

The funny part is, if I'd dedicated all this energy to a fic instead of this blog, I'd probably have about 15-20 thousand words of fic already, but whatever, can't ruin my personal day!

Also, I wanted to see how many people would figure it out/how long it would take for it to become too obvious that this was a fandom thing. I was dropping names and RvB lore since the beginning. A few people did figure it out, and I DMed them in private to let them know.

Q: But why make the blog then?

A: Because I love to lie and be a nuisance to the general populace! <3

It was always my intent to wait until Carolina's perspective got posted (i am honestly still shocked i got away with "Carey/Georgia/West Virginia/Alabama/Miss Louisiana 1988"), let it simmer for about a day, then come clean. Which is what I'm doing now!

The reason I'm coming clean now instead of dragging it out is because I don't want anyone to feel stupid or like they got duped. You're not stupid! You were a part of this story! This was, as one anon said, a creative writing project. It was a collaboration! Thank you so much for helping me!

That said, I'm sorry to anyone that finds this disappointing! I had a blast doing this, but I will not be doing it again. I have gotten my fill. I have had my taste of being an influencer, and now I can go on with my life without ever feeling like I need to start a youtube channel.

Q: How did you keep up with a consistent timeline?

A: I didn't, especially at first. But in my time as a liar who lies about things, I have found that usually people are willing to believe you when you say "yeah, i lied about that".

Q: Wait, what about the thing with your kid?

A: Yeah, I fucked up on this one. In the other fic I was/am writing, Tucker was around 33. So, when I was saying what Junior's age was, I subtracted it from 33 and got 18. It wasn't until I was showing my partner the blog and they said "Wait, he had his kid at 13??????" that I realized I had fucked up. Oops!

Q: Was it really ALL fake?

A: For the most part. I will say that I did actually drop chocolate cake all over my tits that one time and had to shower by myself like a fucking loser. That one was true. I did also get my nails done for the first time ever, which did actually affect my typing. And I am in a band (but so is Tucker, canonically)! There are a few other things as well, but I don't want to list all of them.

Q: DID you ever read homestuck?

A: Nope. And I never will.

Even the title, though I will say that the title I came up with was "Leonard "Alpha Bitch" Church's Decidedly Not Lo-Fi Beats to Get Nasty and Get Clean To: The Movie"

Q: So there was never a combination sex/bathtime playlist?

A: Maybe! But perhaps more accurately: the combination sex/bathtime playlist was inside of you all along. You can make it. There are only three songs on there that are canon to the lore of this blog. Those are No Children by The Mountain Goats, Take It Out On Me by Thousand Foot Krutch, and one unknown song from the album Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV by Coheed and Cambria (Yep, the call was coming from inside the house, I gave Church my music taste). I had intended this to be Wake Up, but it's out of my hands now. The rest is yours to fill in.

Q: What's your main blog, so I can follow you?

A: Hi, this is aitadjcrazytimes. You're not getting that.

Q: Your AO3 handle?

A: Nope, not that either.

You will never find me. And that's the way I want it. You will see me in every blog. Every new follower. Every stranger you meet on the street. You will look into your discord kitten's eyes, and you will absently wonder if he was the one behind aitadjcrazytimes. And you will never know for certain.

Q: But-

A: Let me live on in your memory. The only person who knows both who I am and the fact that I did this is my partner, who is not into RvB or commonly on tumblr. I am not a RvB blog. I am not a writing blog. I am a nobody on the fringes of tumblr society who's been here long enough to know how to remain in the shadows.

And, even if you do manage to find me, against all odds:

No one will ever believe you.

I am closing my askbox. I am also closing my messages. If you have anything to say to Tucker or Me (tumblr user aitadjcrazytimes), you are welcome to do so in the replies or reblogs, but you will not be receiving an answer. I'll keep this blog up for anyone that wants to go through after the fact and do a deep dive or what have you.

Thanks to everyone who made this into the wild ride it was! Live long and get fucked or whatever! Xoxo <3

[chubs-deuce]

Haaard agree on anti-Chaggie post (so sorry Chaggie shippers. We love you)

Alastor is known to steal the attention of people whenever he is on screen. But when he is with Charlie it makes it more interesting! They bounce off of each other in an entertaining way. Even if you don't ship them they are funny. Alastor is getting a kick out of just talking to Charlie. He finds her amusing (probably in a mean way lol). And Charlie while thinks he is an asshole, (cus he is!) she sees he tries to help her even with an obvious hidden ulterior motive.

They don't see eye to eye in their goals but at least they are both real characters with their own motivations and that makes them very dynamic with each other. Also they are both goofs, love 'em

Chaggie has fans within people that just want cute and non-dramatic relationships. Or just a queer couple that is wholesome without any dramatics. Valid!

It's just awkward that Vaggie is all about Charlie. This one thing puts me off. Considering my previous experience with it was in Steven Universe (Rose and Pearl, anyone?). But it's just personal thing. Sometimes things like that are funny like "they are obsessed with this person lololo" or "they are... Uncomfortably obsessed with this person"

[I think it depends on if the other person is on the same level? Charlie seemed somehow dismissive of Vaggie but it can be explained that the plot was just more focused on hotel than them (ugh 8eps. waiting for S2 to have fillers).]

Shipping is all about preferences and that's okay! My friend is a Chaggie shipper and I am a Charlastor shipper. I asked her to explain to me the appeal and she explained it as "a cute couple that has no conflict whatsoever. People like that exist and it's more common than very dramatic or action-driven couples". And I just like a bit fucked up dynamics where I watch someone in that dynamic go through some emotional turmoil (mostly Alastor<3) and also co-workers/housemates dynamic (when I need something cute and simple)

Some people just prefer down to earth things, especially if their life is a rollercoaster. What's important is to respect each other!

Sorry for a lil essay. I just think sometimes it's important to say "these are prefrences. We don't hate you for not liking your thing and the same goes in vice versa"

All fandoms have a group of people that is.... A bit too devoted to something. Respect others even if they don't like the same thing you do. Instead ask them to explain to you why they like it in a non-hostile manner or don't interact at all.

We're all tired of shipping wars, especially when some companies add oil to this fire to monetize more. I just want to get back to old fandom days when you both would be shopping different things and then end up in a make out session /j

Sorry for an essay again. Love your art, especially when you draw unhinged or going insane Alastor because Charlie makes him "feel". Thanks for all the content<3

This!!! So much this!!!

I hardly even need to add anything to this tbh, you already said everything that needs to be said perfectly!

I often like to think of shipping as the more adult version of playing with dolls, and that different people will play with their dolls differently! Some may prefer to follow the instructions on the packaging, playing with the toys exactly as intended, whereas others might find that boring and instead prefer to mix things up and do their own thing!

How I play with my set of dolls should have absolutely no impact on how you play with your own.

Thank you so much for writing out this ask, I'm honestly really glad to see that common sense and critical thinking skills within fandoms haven't completely died out yet lmfao