#this ship is so fucking funny i need someone to talk at me about it

[rdr2xreader]

“Is it even right to tell them about the two of you? Arthur isn’t sure.”

Rating: Mature, Mild Smut

CW: Talks of Sex, High Honor Arthur Morgan, drinking, background ships, gender neutral reader

Ship: Arthur Morgan/Reader, Karen Jones/Molly O’Shea, Bill Williamson/Kieran Duffy, Sean Macguire/Lenny Summers

“Kieran is one noisy motherfucker when it comes to sex. Who would’ve thought, huh? Kid has some vocals on him,” Bill snorts as he sips on his booze.

Arthur didn’t bother looking up from his journal, but he was following the conversation. But should Bill really be talking about that?

He doesn’t need to know how loud Kieran can get.

Karen hums in agreement, equally as drunk. “You should hear Molly. She can sing real pretty for me.”

Arthur doesn’t need to picture Molly underneath Karen, nor does he want to picture Kieran under Bill.

Sean says something about Lenny, which makes Karen and Bill tease him about not lasting long and how its a mircale Lenny hasn’t run off to find someone else to properly fuck him.

“What about you, Arthur?” Bill asks, catching the outlaw’s attention.

“What about me?” Arthur grunts, still scribbling.

“How’s your partner in the shack? Loud? Quiet? Share with the group!”

Arthur frowns, pausing.

Is it even right to tell them about the two of you? Arthur isn’t sure. When he thinks about it, he guesses you can be both loud and quiet. Really, it depends on how rough he’s going and how deep he can hit.

You can moan his name as loudly as can be, especially if you want others to hear. (Like those working girls down in Valentine—)

Or you can quiet the noise down enough so the others don’t hear the two of you going at it.

You’ve learned the hard way to control the volume after Jack curiously asked why you got so loud and why you were walking funny.

“I don’t really wanna—”

“Come on,” Karen groans. How drunk is she?

Sean takes a swing of his booze. “Lenny’s real loud if I strike him right. Really gotta aim for that spot.”

“You should see Molly sometimes. God, all pretty sprawled out like that for me,” Karen licks her lips.

Bill grins, eyes locked on Arthur. “Share, Morgan.”

Arthur picks at his journal and scowls. Nope. He’s not doing this. He isn’t going to share how flustered you get when his cock is deep inside, or how he lives for those noises when your g-spot is continously hit.

His cock hardens a little at the memories.

“No,” Arthur says. “Ain’t doing this. I ain’t discussing my private life.”

He tucks his journal away, ignoring the groans of the others, and walks off to find you.

It’s your fault his cock is starting to get hard anyway, so you can help deal with the problem.

[jade-of-mourning]

combine their vocabularies and together they could say a lot of superfluous things!

[sejanusarchive]

My tbosas rarepair based on absolutely nothing but vibes and shits and giggles is Smiley and Sejanus

[hauntingblue]

Them doing a photo lineup of the mugis for the battle and when it's Robin's turn she just turns and does a blue eyed stare at the camera 😭😭

Look at her 😭😭

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

why is tumblr so fucked up on my chromebook-

[nygleskas]

just remembered how parks is a mockumentary and how there's talking heads and a camera recording everywhere. how in certain scenes you could see lingering glances while the other isn't looking or little movements that could mean something (like laughing at a joke and slightly touching someones arm) or smiles that get hidden btwn me and jean .

[yourfourthparent]

love seeing posts that are like "i block people who like/post about/do this" and it's something i do from someone i have interacted with multiple times

[za-vandal]

I am in so much pain rn, my stomach hurts, my head hurts, and my throat is dry, but here we are.

In the spirit of kinktober, my absolute exhaustion and my want for more subby nerds, I present to you... This monstrosity

Younger!Boss Male reader X older!Nerd Colleague.

NSFW work, don't like don't read 👍

Light dacryphilia, Semi public (? Idk they bang after hours), overstim, getting caught 👀

Nerd Colleague who likes to play games, his office cubicle is literally decorated with mini figurines of his favorite characters, he would play online multiplayer games with the younger employees, he would teach them tricks and all the hidden things to find.

Nerd Colleague who's older than you by a few years, but you're his boss because you founded this company yourself. He talks to you like you're just a teen, but treats you with respect as well. It's kinda funny to see him fumble a little when you walk up to him looking serious as hell, but start asking him about games.

Nerd Colleague, who helps the new employees whenever they have a problem. You see him patting some guys back and feeling a little bit jealous, you would walk up to them and start a conversation. You're basically scaring the new employee away, but hey, at least your favourite man in the office is talking to you about a new update he's excited about.

Nerd Colleague, who gets confused why the younger employees are calling him the "office mom" and you the office dad. You also notice someone is shipping you two, you have your own little office Fandom. You tell your colleague not to care too much, just kids being kids.

"you're calling us kids when you're barely five years older than us?"

"then stop calling me dad"

"hell no, I'm not living in a divorced household. Stay with mom"

Nerd Colleague, who fell asleep at his desk one day, and ended up being the only one left... Except you were also there. Just, kinda watching him?

Nerd Colleague chuckles at you, gesturing for you to come over so he could give you a little kiss on the forehead.

I mean, just sayin, the new employees might call the two of you their parents, but the fact they didn't manage to figure out you two are actually dating was funny to the both of you.

Nerd Colleague who is also freaky. You both are, you match each other's freak really well. He wore a tie to work today for the fact he wants you to use it on him. In the office.

Nerd Colleague, who is a brat. Brattiest brat you have ever met. Constantly complaining about how he has more stamina then you dispute being older.

You prove him wrong later, after making him cum on himself so much his mind goes mush. You barely even needed to do anything with his cock and he's already leaking. You don't even need to get his pants off to feel it getting a bit wet ♡

Nerd Colleague gets tied up with his own tie but not in the way he expected. It's around his tip so he wouldn't get to come that easily, while your own tie was the one around his wrists.

Nerd Colleague who instantly stops being a massive brat, begging so nicely for you to release the tie on his dick.

Nerd Colleague who starts crying asking you to take off the damn tie. You don't, but you do give him little kisses to clear those tears away. He whimpers and complains about the "harsh" treatment you're giving him.

Nerd Colleague who finally gets to cum. And then you pick up the pace again, without giving him time to recover. He cries even more now, calling you unfair, you don't even bother, you're content on watching his tears fall down his pretty face as his eyes roll back from the pleasure.

Nerd Colleague who limps to your car. Complaining all the way there because you fucked him too hard. it's fine though, he did say he would get his revenge back home. You hope that revenge is as fun as what just occurred in the office.

...

"... I hate my job."

"Not my damn fault you forgot your phone, dumbass. At least we do know they're definitely mom and dad now."

"it's giving 'self fulfilling prophecy vibes', y'know? Calling them our parents and they end up banging?"

Vinny's extra notes :

Ngl I don't have anything planned for kinktober, this one is very light in terms of content. Might do a MHA fic, something like Shigaraki X reader or Dabi x reader if I feel like it. Should I do monster fucking? I feel like I should. Or something with sub Mr Reca when he comes out (my unfinished symphony ahh looking man). I love myself some mentally unhealthy men.

[snowstained]

one piece characters after a fight (it was their fault)

includes: fighting, shitty apologies (that get corrected), sanji groveling, gn reader, me being too lazy to proof read

characters: zoro, sanji, crocodile, buggy

zoro

won’t actually apologize at first. he knows when he fucks up, but he refuses to admit it because of his ego. you’ll walk into your room to find your favorite snack, a new clothing item, shoes, etc. on your bed as his “apology”. unfortunately, a gift is not an “i’m sorry” and you don’t care about shattering his ego temporarily.

you walked into your room and sat on the bed was a soft, high quality sweater with a cute design that was basically made for you. it so happened that you and zoro got into a pretty big fight last night. you were training together and zoro took your weight from you, took off a couple rings, and handed it back, “you’re way too weak for that much, taking more than you can handle is just gonna result in failure”. ohhhh he had done it. you immediately got offended and blew up at him, going at it for a solid half hour until you just gave up. you marched over to zoro, shoved the sweater into his hands, and demanded an apology. “say sorry, i won’t forgive you, much less accept the gift, until you say you’re sorry” you said, crossing your arms. “i didn’t do nothin’ wrong” he mumbled in response. you shook your head and walked away, deciding he had earned himself the silent treatment. “wait! wait, wait, okay hold on,” he said, and you paused. “okay, well, that was shitty of me and…” he huffed a little, “i’m sorry for calling you weak, i just wanted to look out for you, that was really rude of me. i’m sorry.” turning back around, you smiled, knowing you had finally won and beat the ego barrier. “apology accepted” you took the sweater back and gave him a kiss, and he looked so, so much less cocky now.

sanji

you and sanji don’t fight often, and when you do he is groveling at your feet BEGGING for forgiveness. he’ll cry and moan, offering gifts and services as a peace offering. it’s always a little fun to mess with when he really fucks up though. it also really does not take long for him to apologize, he hates making you upset.

while out shopping for groceries with sanji to restock, you decided to go to the fruit stand right outside the deli sanji stopped at. there were some new fruits you had never tried in the mix, and you were sampling some of them. dragonfruit, rose apples, rambutans, they were so good! while sampling a lychee and thinking of a dessert you could make with it, you overheard your boyfriend talking to someone. you turned around to see him hitting on someone entering the deli on his way out, heart eyes and all. “i’m sorry, could you hold my order for a few minutes?” you asked, glaring in sanji’s direction, “i need to take care of something, i’ll be back in an hour or less” you stomped over to sanji, the fruit stand owner having a ‘yeah he’s fucked’ look on their face. you grabbed your boyfriend by the shoulders and spun him around, “sanji, my dearest. what the actual fuck is wrong with you?! flirting with someone else, especially when i’m only 20 feet away from you? have you no shame? no class? the audacity is amazing me.” sanji managed to stutter out a few “uh, i uh, uhm”s but failed. you dragged him back to the ship, threw him in the kitchen, and went back to grab your fruit and everything else on your shopping list alone. sanji was not getting let off easy today. when you came back, sanji was sitting in a corner of the kitchen crying. seeing you, he immediately ran to you, kneeling at your feet. “i’m sorry! that was mean, and stupid, and cruel, and gross, and dumb, and pervy, i’m sorry! i don’t deserve to be your boyfriend, i’m a no good dirty cook! please forgive me” he begged. you could tell he was truly sorry, but this was a little funny, and you were still mad. “no, not forgiven. your actions speak louder than your words, sanji. why should i forgive you?” you asked. sanji just sobbed more, “i’m so sorry! i love you so much, nobody is better than you! you’re the most stunning, most beautiful, most sexy, more gorgeous, most cute person in the world! i’ll do and get you anything you want, anything!” nah, you liked this too much. “hmm… keep begging, this is fun.” you said. that went on for a longgg time before you forgave him… and gave zoro some bullying material.

crocodile

he’s aware of when he does something wrong and makes it a quick apology with a LAVISH gift. on the few times he really made you angry/upset, he took you on a vacation or made an insane purchase for you.

crocodile had been gone for months, eleven to be exact. normally you’d still have regular communication via transponder snail, but he hadn’t called you or picked up your calls in almost two months. you grew so sad and lonely, having only house staff to talk to. you hadn’t gone out at all either, just staying at home passing time by reading or doing art. it had been officially eleven months and sixteen days since he had been gone when you were having tea with one of the guards and discussing your latest read. you both had started reading books at the same time like a mini book club to keep you occupied. then, your husband barged into the room. “sweetheart, i’m so happy to see you. missed you, c’mere and give me a hug” he said. you just froze up and the tears came without warning. all you could do was break down in your seat, teacup dropping from your hand onto the saucer, spilling onto the table. the guard immediately began to clean up the spill while crocodile just stared at you, shocked and just confused. “hey, hey, i’m sorry. i thought i’d be home sooner, or have time to visit. baby, please, i-“ he stopped, placing a hand on your shoulder and rubbing circles as you sobbed. you were sad, angry, and happy all at the same time. you were upset, but grateful to see him. “i thought- i thought you died! you didn’t call or- or write to me and…” you continued to break down. crocodile picked you up, making sure to pause to know if you’d be upset or not if he did, and carried you to your shared bedroom. the whole time he gave apologies and comfort to you. after sitting you down and letting you cry into his chest for a bit, he had you stay seated and re dressed you into your favorite comfy clothes. he laid down beside you, and you laid on his chest sniffling while he pet your hair. after a bit of silence, he spoke again “i’m sorry, my sweet angel. i didn’t mean to scare you so bad, i got really busy, i should’ve made better time for you. i should’ve made you more of a priority like i normally do. do you forgive me?” he asked. you nodded your head as a yes, and he kissed it. the rest of the day you spent with him, cuddling and reading together. the next day, you woke up to one of the most thoughtful gifts he’s ever given. “i know you have the bananawani, but they’re not really great for cuddling or playing as adults. i thought you could use a companion for the times i can’t take you with, and for the times i can. here, they’re yours, name them” he said to you as you woke up to two sweet little kittens purring in your lap. “and i packed a bag for you and the kittens, we’re going on a vacation. i think we needed a second vacation home.”

buggy

he’s so weird with apologies. he’ll refuse to say sorry and pout like a child, but the second you take away boyfriend privileges he’s crying.

you and buggy fought semi often, but it was never bad. mostly you scolding him or saying i told you so. this was one of those rare moments where buggy actually made you angry instead of mildly irritated. buggy is a clown, a silly guy! a silly guy who likes pranks, and takes them too far sometimes. buggy thought it would be hilarious to use his chop chop fruit powers to trick you into thinking he actually got seriously injured in a fight. he came on deck limping, two crewman acting as crutches. one of his legs past the knee was missing, and it was dripping with blood. “holy shit! buggy! what happened?!” you screamed, rushing over to help. he acted like he was out of it and in pain, only mumbling replies that didn’t even make sense. you got him laid down, made a tourniquet out of his bandana, and began to wipe up the blood with a cloth you snagged. and slowly, you realized he was fucking with you. you dropped the rag and stood up, “okay, no, what the fuck is wrong with you?” you asked before storming away. “it was just a joke! it was funny!” he yelled. you avoided him for the rest of the day, and he knew he had really done it this time, but like hell he was admitting it. when it was time for bed, you were cozied up and watching a storm through your window. buggy entered the room, sitting down beside you and getting ready to cuddle up next to you, until you stopped him. “absolutely not, get out. you can figure out somewhere else to sleep tonight.” you said. buggy gave you a ‘huh?’ look. “haha, you’re funny. do you want me to put on some music? i got a new-“ you cut him off, “i’m serious, buggy. out, now.” his cheery expression dropped into an agitated one. “it was just a prank, calm down! it’s not my fault that you can’t take a joke!” he exclaimed. “i said out” you said, pointing to the door. he stopped, looking defeated. he began to walk over to the door, until he turned around all teary eyed and sad. “i’m sorry! please forgive me, really, i’m really sorry! i’ll never do it again, i swear!” he begged. after a little more, you gave in and fell asleep listening to the storm in his arms. and his snoring.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Some even even more little descendants incorrect quotes with mostly Glassheart/CharmingHeart

(and other ships)

Chad: Adulting is hard.

Chad: How do I quit?

Chloe: Time travel.

Red: Die.

(sheesh. Also CHAD! HIII)

---

Chad: So you’re dating Chloe?

Red: What? No! I’m just buying them an accessory since they have terrible fashion sense.

Chad: That’s literally a wedding ring.

(To be fair. Maybe they don't have wedding rings in wonderland, and Red is genuinely just buying her accessories. But not because Chloe doesn't have style. She just wants to give Chloe stuff.)

---

Cinderella: Red, when’s your birthday?

Red: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

Chloe: …So we know when to wish you a happy birthday.

+

Chloe: You have some serious intimacy issues

(canon)

---

Chloe: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

Chad, stirring their coffee: I prefer it with salt.

(he would never admit he's wrong. He'd just word his way around it)

---

Chloe: How stupid do you think I am?!

Dizzy: You really want an honest answer to that?

(Chloe is oblivious to her attraction to Red. Their fighting is actually flirting)

---

Chad: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window.

Chloe: ...We're on the ground floor.

Chad: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

(Go off drama king ✨)

---

Chad: Ow!

Dizzy: What’s wrong?

Chad: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.

Dizzy: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

(canon. Also oof)

---

Computer: Please enter a password.

Chad: *types in Chloe*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Chad: How fucking DARE YOU-

(Slay big brother. He knows what's up)

---

Audrey: Hey!

Chad: What do you want?

Audrey: Remember what we were talking about yesterday?

Chad: Nope.

(Yes king. Stand your ground. keep away from her)

---

Audrey: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.

Chad: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.

Audrey: They're not.

Chad: Haha, very funny.

Audrey: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?

Chad: No... what happened?

Audrey: ...Why would you fall for this again-

(I think that's what they were talking about. And he's mad)

---

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Audrey: Would never stab anyone.

Chloe: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Dizzy: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Celia: Would stab without warning.

Red: Would stab as a warning.

+

Chad: It depends, I guess

(the charming siblings +cousin and their girlfriends)

---

Chloe, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need—

Red: A family.

Audrey: A better love life.

Celia: Mental stability.

Dizzy: Money

Chad: *clueless* Bagels?

(... yeah-)

---

Chloe: Go to hell!

Red: Where do you think I come from?

(Wonderland basically is Hell with The Queen of Hearts)

---

Dizzy: You got a date yet Celia?

Celia: No...

Dizzy: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

(Slay ✨🙏. Which I had that confidence)

---

Dizzy: Hey Chloe, wanna third wheel on my date with Celia tomorrow?

Chloe: Sure.

Dizzy: Red! Wanna third wheel on my date with Celia tomorrow?

Red: ..sure, I gues-

Dizzy: Great! I've always wanted to go on a double date!

Red & Chloe: ...

Chloe: Dizzy...

(You'll thank her later, Chloe.)

---

Dizzy: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator.

Celia: Yup.

Red: Maybe the generator is watching us.

Chloe: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added?

Dizzy: ...

Dizzy: Wait—

(Oh no. They found out! Got to run!)

---

Hope you liked it!

I ship Chad and Audrey as Exes

Also I want Chad and Chloe interactions in the next movie. Would love it if Dizzy was also there.

Anyway

Byeeee

[beauty-and-passion]

TBOB PART 3: OF BILL'S SOLITUDE AND BILLFORD (1/3)

What can I say? I’ve always loved the canon ship in almost every fandom I was in.

Welcome, everyone. Welcome to the third part of my endless rambling about Bill Cipher, The Book of Bill and Gravity Falls in general. Now it’s time for the ship, so sit back and relax, because there is a lot to talk about here.

Yes, I was one of the people who shipped these two eight years ago. And I shipped them as soon as I finished watching the series, because… well, there was more than enough proof that something was going on between them.

Unfortunately, the mentality at the time was “Bill tries to kill Dipper as soon as he has the chance? True love. One trillion proofs that Ford and Bill have something going on? How dare you think that, you are a Bad Person™”.

And yes, I know I could’ve written one post years ago and tried to explain Billford back then but… it would’ve been so, so tiresome. Especially considering that pedophilia was a-okay, but Billford shippers were terrible people Because Yes.

But hey, times change, people change and TBOB gives us enough proofs even a blind person can see them. So. it’s finally time to extensively talk about this ship - this time, from Bill’s point of view.

(For the disclaimer and everything else, refer to the first post. And read the previous ones too, if you like! They will help you understand some things I take for granted here.)

<- Previoust post - Masterlist

_______________________________

Billford has always been canon

The thing is: now as then, Billford has never been a ship about “and they ended up happily ever after”. There was never an intent to glorify abuse or to say that Bill and Ford had the healthiest relationship and everyone should have the same.

What was so captivating of this ship was the tragedy of it. The clearly evident infatuation. The obsession these two had for each other.

This is what pushed people (me included) to ship them: because it’s interesting. The dramatic possibilities, the angst, how deeply an obsession can go to the point you lose yourself to your partner… and yes, of course also the interesting images that can come up by imagining such different beings having something physical (if you’re not a coward and give Bill a human form). It’s not the typical fluff with a couple being lovey-dovey 24/7: it’s a lot more. There is a lot that can be explored. It’s wonderfully challenging, both on the writing plane and purely mentally.

… and yes, it's funny for crack and parodies. These two being cringe and pathetic or married and divorced at the same time is always funny.

Sure, at first we had just the show to support this ship. But oh boy, if there weren’t enough proofs already:

Ford’s house was filled to the brim with images, pictures and stuff of Bill. His goddamn windows are triangular-shaped. Not even the Vatican is filled with so many images of God - and I can assure you the windows are not Jesus-shaped.

Ford made a deal with Bill to be together “from now until the end of time”. Until the end of time. That’s basically a marriage, only even more extreme, because fuck death, we will be together until the last supernova evaporates. And before you ask: yes, it takes such a stupidly long amount of time, it’s bonkers. That’s real infatuation.

Ford consensually gave his body to Bill for possession. Just imagine the sheer trust you need to surrender your whole self to someone else. Not even a married couple can reach this level of trust. And definitely not “just friends”. Maybe BDSM couples can come a bit closer to what these two had.

As soon as Ford returned home after 30 years, Bill greeted him in a dream, called him “his old pal” and was all nice and friendly. No hard feelings, no reprimands, nothing but flattery and threats because, as we learned from TBOB, these two things go together in his head.

Bill asked Ford to join him 200 times more or less.

Bill gave Ford 200 nicknames more or less.

During Weirdmageddon, right after Ford tried to kill him with one of the things that could’ve destroyed him (the quantum destabilizer), Bill welcomed him with a smile, offered him a place among his freaks for the umpteenth time and, when Ford refused again, he turned him into his literal golden trophy wife and carried him around.

By comparison, when Preston Northwest offered his help, Bill shuffled the function of every hole in his face and ignored him completely right after.

Also: Ford tries to shoot me and fails by sheer luck? Please please please, be one of my freaks. Dipper tries to throw me a punch that will literally do nothing? Death. Bill doesn’t have double standards, nope nope.

To convince Ford to give him the equation, Bill’s first thought is to bring Ford into a private suite, serenade him and ask him to join him for… what? The 220th time?

When Ford refuses, Bill puts chains on him in the kinkiest possible way known to mankind, with an iconic image that screams of BDSM.

Somehow, all of this wasn’t enough. And so, we had Journal 3, in which:

Ford called Bill “his Muse”. Oh, my mistake: he called Bill “his blessed Muse”.

Literally lavishes Bill with compliments. So. Many. Compliments.

Says Bill will “seduce” you with never-ending flattery. Interesting verb choice here, Ford, are you sure there’s nothing else you want to tell us?

Ford named a constellation after his Muse.

Once he went through the portal, instead of hiding away forever and good luck finding him, Ford held a 30-years-old grudge and decided HE would’ve killed Bill, no one else. That’s not a simple obsession between friends.

But after all of this, something was still missing.

Until now, it was quite certain that Ford had a COLOSSAL obsession about Bill. The religious fervor, the sheer trust, the depth of his grudge all made it very clear that Bill carved a deeply rooted place in his heart and mind - a place he kept for most of Ford’s life.

But what about Bill? Did he even care about Ford?

We had no idea. Sure, he showed some kind of care: he gave Ford special treatment during Weirdmageddon and seemed to value him enough to offer him a place among his freaks multiple times.

But when did this care start? Was it just because he needed Ford? What about their pre-betrayal relationship? Did Bill even care before?

The most plausible explanation at the time was that pre-betrayal Bill was simply flattered by Ford’s lavish adoration. Maybe he liked the guy a bit (otherwise, why waste time with him?) and humored him in his fervor, but nothing more than that.

But then the betrayal happened and Ford switched from adoring him to opposing him. He actively ran away, found ways to keep Bill away from his mind and came back with the sole intention of killing him.

At the time, I thought this was the moment when Bill started to be truly interested in Ford. Before Ford was just an adoring pet. Now he was more. Now he was interesting. Now he was worthy.

And that opened the door to even more angst possibilities! If Billford was just a “one-sided relationship” before, now it could’ve been the story of two beings who loved/cared about each other, but at different moments in time: Ford in the past, when Bill didn’t love him yet. And Bill in the present, when Ford wasn’t in love with him anymore. The perfect tragedy, ton of angst, love that.

But now, with TBOB and thisisnotawebsitedotcom, the tragedy that is Billford gets a new, angst layer. A beautiful, angst layer.

Because it’s not that Bill never cared about Ford or cared at the wrong moment in time: Bill cared right from the start.

_______________________________

Deeply alone

One detail about TBOB that people aren’t talking too much about is the sense of solitude that permeates it. There are parts in which you can literally feel Bill’s loneliness.

One example? The Bill Tells All section. I know it’s supposed to be a funny parody, but it’s also a perfect image of how alone he is. He’s so alone, he has to be host, interviewee and audience at the same time, because no one else is willing to listen or talk to him.

And in light of the information we got about his past, I think this is an extremely important part of Bill’s character and personality.

Let’s come back to Euclydia: the anthem/poem on the website emphasizes how close people are (“LOVED ONES WILL BE EVER NEAR”), so it’s very possible Bill grew up surrounded by his loved ones.

And then, one single event and everyone disappeared. All the people who surrounded him one second ago, were gone the second after. “There was no one left but me, covered in blood, alone in the universe.”: if this line means solitude for us, just imagine how much, much stronger that same solitude would be for someone who, until that moment, has always been surrounded by others and knew no other reality than that.

That’s another level of solitude: it’s a black void of emptiness, something all-encompassing and all-consuming. It’s a hole carved inside you that nothing will fill ever again. And it was you, the one who carved it.

Of course Bill became insane. Of course he chose to find a justification for his action, by saying that he liberated his dimension and that his people were holding him back. I don’t know what he would’ve done, if he hadn’t. Probably, he wouldn’t have found a way to survive.

But he survived. He repressed his trauma, justified it and kept going towards the stars he was aiming for.

Still, that void was inside him - and we know he tried to fill it. He tried by dating a literal void, for god’s sake. And he tried by surrounding himself with people.

That’s probably why he became who he is: a flashy, flamboyant figure, someone who loves to be the center of attention, because that means having people around. It means people listening to him and being with him and surrounding him again. It means not being alone again.

I mean, just look at this book: every page has something new and interesting, every page is a different attempt to keep you involved, to keep you around and listen.

But an audience can always leave. An audience can stop being around. And that’s probably why Bill searched for someone closer, someone who wouldn’t leave him so soon.

He searched for new loved ones.

_______________________________

Love and hate

Bill’s love advice put a real smile on my face, because sure, they’re funny, but at their foundation, they all share the same goal: to show to your potential partner your qualities and how you would be able to carry/provide for them and your offspring.

Why is it so funny? Because that’s exactly what every single living being does to attract a potential mate: showing off your colorful feathers, singing louder than others, fighting other rivals, showing how clever you are, using pheromones and special smells. And, for humans, something like, idk, showing how wide your hips were as proof that you would carry healthy babies. Or showing off how wealthy you are, to prove you can take care of your partner and your offspring.

Bill himself follows this mentality, considering advices like “have two of everything to show your wealth” or “show how much calcium you have (aka how healthy you are)”. Heck, he even has a seduction hat which is basically one huge phallic shape!

And, again, this makes me smile, not just because it’s a clear parody of those men who keep showing off their huge, large vehicles. But also because he usually wears a tall top hat. And how funny it would be, if a tall top hat was indeed a way to win a partner in Euclydia? What if that’s how his father got his mother? Please, I want a fanfic or Mr. Cipher entering a place with a top hat big and wide enough to win Mrs. Cipher’s heart (while not accidentally piercing through another shape). I bet it would be hilarious.

Funny love advice aside, I would also point out these two things Bill says:

Love and fear are right next to each other in the brain and, like most humans, Bill also can’t tell the difference (he doesn’t even think there is a difference)

“love is the pupa stage for hate”

The fact Bill mixes love and fear explains why he is like that in general - and with Ford too. If love and fear are the same thing, then there is no difference between flattering someone and threatening them. There is no difference between partying with his friends and scaring the shit out of them. There’s no difference between helping Ford and hurting him. And there’s no difference between allowing him to see Fordtramarine and “joking” about someone coming to steal his eyes.

Also: if “love is the pupa stage for hate”, then Ford coming back after 30 years hating him was completely normal for Bill. It was just how things were supposed to go: first he loved him, now he hates him. Still, same thing. Still worth a place among his freaks. Still worth flirting. For Bill, nothing has changed - just evolved in a natural way.

And yes, this is uber duper fucked up and great material for toxic Billford. But it also makes me think: how did Bill get this mentality? How did he manage to mix love and fear so much? When did it happen?

Inevitably, I think about Euclydia. And inevitably, I think that “the incident” is when Bill mixed the two things.

When he still lived in Euclydia, Bill clearly experienced both love and hate: his mother at least seemed to love him, the other kids didn’t. Bill doesn’t like his optometrist either and we have no clue about his feelings towards his father. Later in his life, Bill recognizes his family and his world tried to blind him/”snuff out his potential” - so, again, something more similar to hate than love.

Then, Bill destroyed his place. He had to deal with a trauma so huge (i.e. experiencing solitude for the first time in his existence), it left a void inside him. A void he decided to suffocate with lies - lies that, in the end, are just half-truths. His place was bad and his family was holding him back! But that was also the place that showed him love for the first time. His people were flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams! But among them, there was also the one who loved him right from the start.

I believe this is when the two feelings got mixed in his brain. In his attempt to justify and cope with his mixed feelings regarding the universe he just destroyed, Bill ended up mixing love and fear together and believing that love is just one stage of hate. Unable to deal with the vastity of solitude, Bill put together justifications for his actions and messed up his own perception of feelings.

The result is someone who is deeply, deeply alone and who desperately keeps searching for love to fill that void… but is unable to do that, because he cannot distinguish between love and hate anymore.

That’s why he has a lot of exes. And that’s why they’re all exes.

But hey, at least there are friends, right? Right?

_______________________________

Bill’s friends are full of potential (especially one of them)

The perfect friend for Bill should be:

alone, outcasted, rejected by society, possibly an orphan looking for a purpose in life (so exactly like him)

completely devoted to him

Which you can see by yourself that this isn’t exactly how a friendship should work. The friend exactly like you can still work, but the friend completely devoted to you who should do everything you want… well, that’s not a friend. That’s not even a pet, because even pets do not follow you around with such lavish adoration.

But somehow, in the vastity of the Multiverse, Bill managed to find some friends. And oh boy, what friends:

Pyronica is a beauty queen AND she has a twin sister AND she dated Hectorgon. Cool, but not enough. I need details. But, like, a lot. Her entire story would suffice (maybe).

Amorphous Shape is invisible to most of the Henchmaniacs. How? Why? Who is she, really? Where is she from? Where is her backstory? Why isn’t it here? I need it here.

Hectorgon was a goddamn sheriff and Bill just throws it like that?! I want his backstory too! I want to know everything about him!

Keyhole hates Pyronica? Why? What happened? Where is all the juicy gossip, Bill? We need the gossip!

And most importantly: a certain someone was part of Bill’s gang. Someone with a photo that has been covered, but it’s still partially visible. And as soon as I saw it, I jumped up on my bed and asked: “Wait… is this Jheselbraum?!”

The answer is yes and thisisnotawebsite confirmed it: she was one of Bill’s Henchmaniacs. And now the right question is: how much do you want The Book of Jheselbraum, from 1 to 10?

I mean:

In the partially crossed-out part about her in TBOB, Bill says she figured something related to dimensions

In the shaman page (TBOB) there is a code: WHICH HENCHMANIAC RATTED ME OUT

In Journal 3, Ford has been saved by her, who sucked him out of the 2D world of Exwhylia

Jheselbraum told Ford that Bill’s “thirst for power caused him to destroy his home dimension - including his parents and everyone else he’d ever known” (Journal 3)

Still in Journal 3, Ford says she spoke of Bill “without anger, but with a calm, steely, clinical resolve to see his reign of terror end”.

In addition to that, let me add this part from thisisnotawebsitedotcom under the code TANTRUM:

I KNOW YOUR CRIMES, CIPHER. TAKING A NEW HOME WILL NOT MAKE UP FOR THE ONE YOU’VE LOST. WHAT YOU DID TO THE COUNTLESS SOULS OF EUCLYDIA- Cipher stopped in his tracks. YOU CHOOSE YOUR WORDS VERY. CAREFULLY. Ciphers henchmen murmured amongst each other, confused. They seemed to have heard conflicting stories about Bill’s past. “You said you liberated the people of your dimension-” LIBERATED THEM FROM THEIR BODIES! DONT LISTEN TO HIM! HE’S A BABY!

Can you see how HUGE the potential is?

What I believe for now is that:

Jheselbraum figured out what Bill really did to his home dimension (i.e. destroying everything and not “liberating” it, as he said to his Henchmaniacs)

She started to actively find ways to stop him from doing the same thing again

She “ratted him out” with Bill’s new potential puppets on Earth

Bill found out she didn’t just rat him out, but found out the truth about Euclydia too and that’s what led to her escaping

She settled closer to a 2D world - maybe to learn more about Bill, maybe because she knew Ford would’ve appeared there

And speaking of that, we have the message on thisisnotawebsitedotcom under the code SEVENEYES:

This is something someone else wrote to her. Someone who told her to escape to a crossed-out Dimension (who guesses that the crossed-out thing was the number 52?). Someone who told her it was against the rules, but it was also the only way to escape him (aka Bill).

And from her code, you can find out the other criminals found new homes as well.

In other words, we have a hidden spy story, in which someone helped Jheselbraum escape from Bill and, in turn, she helped all others escape Bill.

If you don’t want a book about her, about her story as Bill’s henchmaniac and about this whole thing, you are a huge. Fucking. Liar.

_______________________________

And with that, let’s close part 1 of this umpteenth endless analysis. The next one will come soon and it will be all about Billford.

Yes, I know I already talked about Billford here, but we still haven’t talked about the details in TBOB and Bill’s perspective on it. Also, it’s always nice to talk about Billford.

See you soon~

-> Next post

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

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[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Hi, I apologize if I'm being annoying but I love your shipping au and I was thinking of something and wanted to tell you

What if once the shipp that is most trending is MC x the worst possible noble of that country. Like, people notice mc has a lot of chemistry with glasya or bimet and instead of a king there is now a whole thread talking about how mc should stay with the noble instead of the king? I think it would be really funny

Oh, I love this. Mc that has terrible taste in men is so real.

*Glasylabolas posts a photo of him kissing Mc*

Glasylabolas: Task failed succesfully

Foras: I'm glad you like the dead so much because there's no way you're going to keep on living after this

Barbatos: I'm preparing the candles

Glasylabolas: It's fineeeeee I made it so only people that follow me can see it. His majesty Leviathan doesn't follow anyone.

Dantalian: BROOOOOOOO THIS IS SO COOOOOOL

Glasylabolas: I know, right? The child of Solomon is my significant other now. Everyone else can go cry about it.

Dantalian: You'll be sharing with your bestie, right

Dantalian: 🥹👉👈

Glasylabolas: Of course

Dantalian: Yepeeeee

Glasylabolas: Tell Ronové to check his dms

Dantalian: He's busy. We're in the middle of a battle

Glasylabolas: I don't care, I want to see if he has time in his scheduel for our threesome

Dantalian: wait... I thought I was your bestie!

Glasylabolas: I have many besties, Dantalian

Glasylabolas: Most of them from Abaddon. You people trully understand me

Dantalian: It's fine. Wanting to fuck corpses is tame. Just yesterday someone died from getting fucked by a horse.

Glasylabolas: Crazy

Dantalian: Can I have more pics with you and Mc? I want to make an edit

Glasylabolas: Absolutely, just send it to me directly

Dantalian: sure sure

*Glasylabolas posted 10 more photos*

Dantalian: wiat ill doiy when i grt homt

Glasylabolas: Are you having a stroke?

Dantalian: m typng wjth m feert

Glasylabolas: Pop off

5 hours later

*Dantalian posted an edit*

Dantalian: It's done!

Glasylabolas: This is great! Though why is the song "Be my bad boy"

Dantalian: Because you're the bad boy and Mc is the badass dom

Glasylabolas: They haven't dommed yet

Dantalian: yet

Gamigin: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??????

Paimon: It's not even photoshopped... Glasy, how could you?!

Eligos: Nooooooo out of all the bad decisions, Mc made the worst one

Amon: I think I just lost my appatite for the next century

Dantalian: Come on, guys, it's not that bad!

Amon: @Gamigin are there any free beds in Paradise Lost? I think I need emergency medical attention

Gamigin: I'll send Buer over

Amon: Thx

Eligos: This is fucking outragous

Paimon: My main question is how Glasy is still alive

Foras: @Glasylabolas I think you should brace yourself

Gamigin: What happened?

Barbatos: Hi guys!!!! So, his handsome majesty Leviathan took care of everything. His last words were "This is hot"

Gamigin: Is he dead?

Paimon: Good

Dantalian: He was a good devil.

Dantalian:

Dantalian: Stay strong, brothers

Foras: He's not dead, just unconcious

Paimon: Bumeeeer

*This forum has been terminated at the request of his majesty Leviathan*

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

Why did you start shipping Bunny? What made you realize their characters had a certain dynamic you enjoyed?

Alright, story time.

My best friend is the one who introduced me to South Park and they started out by showing me select episodes from season 4 and forward, and around the time we were at like season 10ish they informed me what like popular ships exist in the fandom. Namely Creek, Style (I had already seen Tweek x Craig, it was actually the first SP episode I ever watched lmao, and I could kinda see why Style was a thing because they're best friends with lots of moments that CAN be read as romantic), and Kyman (I could also see why it was popular lmao) but when they mentioned Bunny it surprised me. Like these two characters barely/never interact on screen, but my friend just said "Trust, you'll see why later in the show." Instead of waiting to see why later in the show, the idea infested my brain and it clicked anyway.

At first it was just vibes, they seemed sweet and compatible. Let's over-articulate the "vibes" a little further; Keep in mind these are all conclusions I was able to draw about these characters pre season 14 (Pre "Coon & Friends", pre "The Poor Kid" and pre "Going Native".)

These two come from opposite ends of the family trauma spectrum; With Kenny it's neglect, with Butters it's an overly controlled/sheltered environment.

Butters is a yapper, Kenny is a patient listener.

Butters gets cut off/belittled very often for his yapping whereas Kenny isn't one to judge or dismiss.

But Butters isn't the kind of yapper who just likes to hear himself talk; he engages a LOT with whatever someone tells him, and always takes his conversation partner seriously. Kenny is rarely asked for his input, he's rarely ever even referred to directly in a room full of people, but rather just a spectator.

Based on this, I could see Butters rambling to him directly and give importance to Kenny's input and opinions, something we rarely see with anyone else. Funny that this was even confirmed to be true in season 16's "Going Native"

(idk these are just instances that kind of prove to me how Butters values & respects Kenny and his side of things, by either outright saying so or just referring to him in conversation and asking for his input that I rarely see anyone else do. This even gets driven super far in the vaccination special where Kenny is just completely and utterly patronized by his best friends & treated like their child)

So all of these things, without ever even having them seen interact, just made it make sense that these two characters were very compatible in a healthy and sweet way. They both have heavy trauma, but the ways that they cope/express themselves likely wouldn't be triggering for the other. Rather they'd kind of be good for each other to heal; Butters is the least apathetic character in the show, so he wouldn't ever make Kenny feel ignored or neglected. Kenny has seen & lived through enough shit, making him incredibly unprejudiced, he'd never even think to make fun of any of Butters' quirks he's been punished and belittled for.

As I got to the Coon & Friends trilogy and "The Poor Kid" and the whole Kenny lore bomb, something about the two of them being the most tragic characters in the show just kinda fucked my head even worse.

Picking that apart; it was kind of this underlying fact that Butters would believe Kenny about his deaths BECAUSE he's so naïve and gullible. Again, Butters would take Kenny seriously and value his input and emotions, he'd be the ideal person for Kenny to finally relieve some of the burden he's forced to carry alone. Matt and Trey are cowards for not making an episode about this like c'mon seriously it doesn't even need to be romantic

I'm not gonna get further into "Going Native" right now, mostly because the episode speaks for itself, has been probably talked about most in the fandom and kind of confirmed a lot of the things I already assumed about these characters (but if you'd like me to pick it apart feel free to send another ask), so instead I'm gonna tell you why I started going insane over them on a fandom level. Funnily enough, it was the Style-centric fic "The Scenic Route" by Hollycomb.

The coolest thing is Hollycomb actually published The Scenic Route BEFORE "Going Native" aired, and the way that they handled these characters and their relationship still fucking blows my mind. Dude, they're not even the focus of the story. They're a side story. A background ship. I'm not saying the main storyline isn't entertaining lmao but the Bunny background storyline was probably just so much more my taste I think? Especially how imperfect and messed up it started out, continued and went on. It implemented the canon fact that Kenny did kind of just not care about Butters and how his fucked up parents treat him, just like the rest of the town. Like Kenny is kind and all, but he can also be very apathetic and indifferent, and there's lots of instances in canon where the other boys treat Butters like crap and Kenny just watches it happen.

(Episodes: "Good Times With Weapons", "Marjorine", "Cartman Sucks", "Butters' Bottom Bitch" and "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs")

(mind you, they're also just 9 year olds though lmao)

The way Hollycomb wrote how Kenny slowly started caring and falling in love with Butters even though he initially just intended to use him for venting about his own problems just stuck with me so hard. Like yes. That makes so much fucking sense. Kenny needs someone to take him seriously, and he doesn't need that person to be someone he cares about. He picks the easiest person available. But the slow realization that he's started pitying, then caring, and then deeply loving and wanting to help and save this person? That shit hit the SPOT.

Anyways, what I'm saying is that this fanfic was the reason I started thinking about possible ways they could get together and stay together, a lot of them messy and tragic and every bit wholesome as it is entertaining and fucked up. Kenny and Butters' traumatized asses finding comfort in each other is just something that became so special to me. I started out reading & writing Style, but whenever I tried to craft my own fics I'd always be thinking so much about what Kenny & Butters were doing and what their story is until I thought "damn dude why aren't you just writing about them instead". and thus I fell down the rabbit hole. enter chaos plan lol

This is such a tiny part of why I love these characters and why both of them separate AND their dynamic is incredibly comforting and interesting to me, and I haven't even mentioned anything about the many foil/parallel narratives around these two; Kenny & Butters as Kenny's replacement. Mysterion & Chaos. Princess Kenny & Paladin Butters. Philanthropist Dr. McCormick & capitalist scammer Vic Chaos. Especially the last one what the fuck I could write my bachelor thesis on Post Covid Bunny.

Thank you so much for the ask, anon. I'm so happy I got to ramble about my favorite little assholes <3333

[kacievvbbbb]

Okay so I’ve spent the last couple days on Twitter (@kacievvbbbb if you wanna join me 👀) just fucking yapping about my new found obsession with the idea that Mihawk not only reads but is an active and well loved contributor to the pirate smut genre all across the blues. And I just needed to bring this to tumble to get more thoughts on it.

Here are mine;

- he obviously writes under a pseudonym would be funny if it was an anagram of like Worlds Strongest Swordsman or something.

- he writes essentially y/n fanfiction but he is always the reader.

- he is heavily perfectionist about his detailing of things like bodice ripping and that has lead to many a fun night for Shanks as he discreetly tries to rest just how exactly a bodice ripping would look and feel. Or if this sex position is even plausible.

-this one was a combined effort between @Dior and myself but he writes all the lovers as much more of an active participant in sex than the pillow princess himself actually is and this is because he thinks he is putting in exactly the same amount of work into sex as Shanks is which is laughable.

-Benn features heavily in alot of these RHP smut books. Benn

-He mostly writes RHP smut but he will branch out to other pirates like Crocodile maybe Doffy 👀. This gives Shanks heart palpitations when he finds out all this smut has been written by Mihawk.

- Mihawk almost kills both himself and Shanks by drowning the first time he finds out that Shanks knows about his little hobby.

- Shanks regularly requests they try something from the book and Mihawk has to stomp down the urge to throttle him. But again Mihawk’s reader is a much active participant in sex than he is and he is not a fan of all this work he has to put in even though he enjoys the results. Shanks is highly amused.

- Shanks for the first time in his life becaomes an avid reader with a habit and this confuses everyone that doesn’t know what he is reading and suffers Benn greatly who does.

- Shanks is lowkey very into the stories where the “reader” has sex with other men. He starts setting plans in motion.

- Mihawk also collects a lot of pirate smut a lot of it is about himself as well and this is his equivalent to jerking off. His next favorite people to read about are of course Shanks, Cricodile he is ashamed of just how much Doflamingo smut he owns. Lowkey maybe some King smut too.

- a contribution from someone on Twitter tha I live is that he also grades said smut about himslef and then sends the notes to the authors.

- he pseudonym is well known and well lived in the community.

-this is infact where more than half of his riches comes from.

- yes he also does read marine porn. He steers clear of anything that even remotely mentions garp tho. His favorite marine to red about is Sengoku I don’t fucking know 😭. I can just imagine him seating in warlord meetings shipping Sengoku with random fucking marines and pirates as he is trying to talk about very serious business

- he sure write the well known and well loved “the red haired emperor & me” series which is published in Morgan’s magazine or whatever and Shanks always seeks him out no matter where he is and fucks him good and hard everytime a new chapter goes out.

- he continues to do this while at Cross Guild Buggy and Crocodile are non the wiser. His crocodile descriptions start to get more detailed a clown pops up every now and again in his writing Shanks might be on the verge of a heart attack.

- shanks is a little too invested in the situation some (Benn) would say.

[kimio7]

Fics that defined my love of f1 rpf

In celebration of literally nothing actually, i bring you a fic rec list of some of my favourites!!! very condensed (100+ -> 15 not even including tumblr fics) and im kinda sad i cant put all of my favs down lol but these are like my must reads!!

pleaseeee read these if u havent already its all amazing even if you dont vibe with the ships themselves

Strollonso:

silver platter by atwater | E | 9k

Literally the first fic I've ever read and basically got me into this fandom (and ship). Theyre both so unhinged and amazing it's a very fun read. Probably the best written lance ive every read.

Make Sound by antimonyandthyme | E | 1k

Makes me so fucking insane no notes this is just amazing oh my god

I make two grand an hour by Kaytheologie | E | 3k

Literally so hot and so amazing. lance is so bitchy in this one is great. amazing writing and amazing premise, literally inspired me to sketch out something right after (might finish it at some point)

Sewis:

provenance by ecorone | M | 18K

Literally the fic that introduced and made me fall in love with sewis. it wrecked me like i still havent recovered at all. the writing itself is just, i vibe to it so much

The Numbering at Bethlehem by Kaytheologie | E | 26k

might be one of my favourite fics, ever. what a masterpiece genuinely the environment is just so immersive and lush. ive reread it a dozen time and it never gets old

Brocedes:

you're my purple candy high by nothoughtsjustvibes | M | 5k

baby's first brocedes 🥹 started my love affair with emotional destruction. ruined me when i just first read it and ruined me every time after that. The writing is so profound and laid out their tragedy bare.

the torture of small talk with someone you used to love by finedae | T | 2k

baby's first nico fic!! it also destroyed me!! i think this is the one that made me join f1br bc i was just so obsessed with the writing i needed to know what the author was like lol.

3344:

special research vessels by ecorone | M | 15k

listen i thought this ship wouldve been more popular than it is LOL or at least not as hated. regardless, i love this fic so much. I love the environment, I love the dialogue, the characterization, everything. It's just such an amazing reading experience

matchstick people by ecorone | E | 60k

if you havent noticed by now, im obsessed with this author. the prose, the characterizations, how beautifully the magical realism of it all was realized. horror as a genre is so underutilized in fanfics as a whole but when its done, its done amazingly. love love love

Others:

crude generalisations and vulgar simplifications by crescenteluce | E | 14k | Alexander Albon/George Russell

This fic is THE galex fic for me. it so funny and the writing is so witty its just fun to read. love the way the environment is constructed and it everything just feels so real. amazing

it's more than I can bear: this interminable want, turning and turning. by Anonymous | E | 2k | Fernando Alonso/George Russell

The vibes are rancid, the ships are niche, the writing is good. what more do you need? i love reading this and i love thinking about this.

Amen by sirius | M | 9k | Fernando Alonso/Lewis Hamilton

THE ferwis fic is my mind and mad me unreasonably obsessed with this ship. its so well written- like i love the characterization so much it makes me insane.

on golden sands bysionisjaune | T | 6k | Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg/Sebastian Vettel

Listen, this and the ships that go sailing are both just amazingly entertaining fics. its objectively such a good read and i enjoy spending my time reading it. its just so fun!

steal the air out of my lungs (make me feel it) by nahco3 | E | 26K | Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen

My favourite medical au fic!! ever!!! everything is just so well realized and the characterization is just spot on!! love everything about this fic and nothing i say can fully explain how amazing this fic is!!!

Shutter Speed byantimonyandthyme | E | 18k | Sebastian Vettel/Mark Webber

got me into photography lol. made me purchase my first actual camera. dont know what else to say its just that amazing

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Sugar Rush

Family is More Than Blood Masterlist

Summary: Carol needs advice on how to ask you on a date.

Warning: fluff, some amount of angst, mention of past abuse from the Red Room and Dreykov, Val is a good friend, everyone loves to tease the reader, gay panic

Word Count: 5.3k

Maybe Carol was overthinking it. This wasn’t foreign territory to her. It was easy for her to get a girl into bed with her. Yes, it built her a reputation as a playboy, but no one got hurt. In her eyes, she was entitled to a bit of fun after all the hell she’s been through. But you were different, so Carol needed to be different. Carol found you attractive. She believed anybody was an idiot if they failed to see your physical beauty. However, it was your heart that drew her in.

Her time was between patrolling the stars and helping the Avengers on Earth. Somehow, you were all Yelena talked about when she was at the compound. Since the fall of the Accords, Yelena has painted this picture of you. Her older sister gave herself up to Dreykov, so she and Natasha could be free. Carol was intrigued by you. She wondered how someone who was captured by the darkness so young and for so long was good.

It was easy for you to capture Carol on your web; she knew you had no idea what you were doing. At first, it was the way she caught you staring at her when she got done meeting with Steve. The blush on your cheek was Carol’s new favorite color. Then, it was the way you confronted the Widow after exposing her to the red dust. You opened your arms to her without hesitation. You comforted her and reassured her that it was not her fault.

At the bar, where you thankfully agreed to get a drink, it was your smile as you tried to hide it. The way your eyes lit up when you talked about your sisters. Even when she spoke of her life, you hung on every word she said.

What she told your sisters was true. She wanted to be your friend. If it led to more (which she hopped), then she would be grateful. But it would be on your timeline; she wouldn’t force you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.

So here she was, on her ship and lost on what to do. You were visiting the compound for a few days, and it linked up to when Carol was coming back to Earth. Your friendship was growing through text messages or short phone calls. Carol wanted to plan something fun to do together. She called Valkyrie for help. Was it wise to call her ex-girlfriend and her first girlfriend since Monica? Unsure, but there weren’t other people she could ask. Besides, she and Val ended things on good terms; they were better off as friends. “Oh captain, my captain,” Val teased when the call connected and her hologram came up. “What do I owe the pleasure?” Carol rolled her eyes.

“Am I interrupting?”

“Oh, you are, but being a king is trying work,” she sighed dramatically. “What do you need? You never call.” She winced and made a mental note to be better at that.

“I need advice.”

“Is this about the Black Widow you fancy?” Val asked.

“I don’t fancy her,” she stood up from her bed and moved around her ship. “Also, who says fancy anymore?” Val laughed. “But yes, it’s about her,” she picked up a toy for Goose and threw it. The flerken ran after it. “I want to plan something but don’t know what to do.” Val hummed.

“Is the endgame to sleep with her?” Carol slapped her hand against her forehead. “What?” Val asked while laughing. “It’s a valid question, and depending on the answer, I could give different options,” Carol sighed, picked up the toy Goose brought back, and threw it again.

“Yes,” she admitted. “But not right away. She’s special, Val, and I don’t want to fuck this up like I normally do. If I do, I will have two very pissed-off Black Widows after me,” Carol paused. “3 if her mother decides to join in on the hunt,” Val laughed so hard, she almost fell out of her chair. The sound made Carol smile. Val was a pain in her ass sometimes, but she was grateful for her.

“Goodness, I forgot how funny you are.” Carol wasn’t sure if that was a compliment, so she kept her comments to herself. “So we want friendship to possible lovers’ date ideas, right?”

“Yes,” Carol sighed, shaking her head. She was starting to regret asking Val.

“And she’s the one who gave herself up for her sisters,” Carol hummed. “Heroic,” Val was silent beside the click of her pen, and she leaned back in her chair. So Carol kept throwing the toy for Goose. “Take her to an arcade.”

“An arcade?” Carol questioned, froze mid-throw, and looked at Val’s hologram. The flerken yelled at her, so she threw it at him. Val was leaning on her desk with her hands crossed.

“Yeah, she’s probably never been to one. You guys can be all cute and competitive; then you can woo her by winning her a prize.”

“I hate you,” Carol deadpanned, but it wasn’t a bad idea.

“No, you don’t, or you wouldn’t have called me,” she had a point. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Thanks, Val,” Carol smiled. “I’ll come visit soon.”

“Bring the new boo thang,” Carol hung up before Val could say anything. Sighing, she sat down in her chair with her hands over her eyes. She felt a little silly, acting like a teenager with a crush. But she was nervous and a little anxious, and these were feelings she wasn’t used to. Goose ran over and jumped on her lap, rubbing his head against her hand to get the captain to pet him. Carol smiled.

“Maybe I should take you with me. She does want to meet you,” the flerken meowed. “Do you promise not to eat any of them?” Immediately, Goose jumped off her lap. “That does not provide me with any confidence.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“Hey stranger,” you turned around from your spot in the kitchen to see Carol. While you were in Russia, you missed your sisters. You missed spending time with Wanda, but you missed Carol the most. These feelings were something you were still trying to understand. While apart, your friendship was forged over text messages and phone calls. You worried your friendship wasn’t going to work in person.

“Did you bring him?” You asked. Carol shook her head but chuckled at your frown.

“Stark doesn’t like Goose,” she said and took half of the sandwich you made. You could give two fucks about Stark’s feelings. You wanted to meet the cat or Flerken or whatever. “Goose tried to eat him last time.”

“Good,” you shrugged. “He probably deserved it.” Carol laughed and took a bite. “Is it good?” The captain nodded with a smile. You rolled your eyes and took a bite of your half. She was right. It was good. Another thing about the compound is that your food was never safe.

“Do you have plans for tonight?” Usually, you would spend it with whoever wanted to watch a movie or play video games.

“Nope,” you said. “Do you want to do something?” You watched her smile grow, and you enjoyed it.

This is the first time you’ve done this. You only looked at someone and enjoyed their mannerisms by analyzing every detail for a mission. Slowly, you were unlearning those behaviors while leaving with the Avengers. Wanda liked tea before she went to bed. Steve always had a sketchbook next to him. When Yelena was nervous or anxious, she played with the rings on her fingers.

You liked learning about Carol. When she was reading over a mission report, she was spinning a pen between her fingers. Her eyes would light up when she was asked about Monica or Goose because she loved them both. She was playful, snarky, and wasn’t afraid to tease your sisters or Tony. “Do you want to go somewhere with me?” She asked.

“Do I get to know where we are going?” you countered. Carol shook her head. “It sounds like you are kidnapping me,” the captain smirked.

“Do you think I could kidnap you and get away with it?” You shrugged. It would be a challenge, but it would be fun. Besides, she could not get very far. Carol laughed.

“Do you trust me?” It went against your training to trust anyone, but you wanted to trust her.

“Yes,” you answered.

“Good, wear something casual, and I’ll pick you up at 5,” she winked at you, leaving you alone in the kitchen. You shook your head with a smile and ignored the way her playful gesture filled your stomach with butterflies. Instead of focusing on the upcoming hang-out with Carol, you began to clean the kitchen. It was a simple task that kept your mind busy and present. You were so distracted that you didn’t realize someone else entered the kitchen.

“Why are you cleaning?” You jumped at the sound of Wanda’s voice. “I am going to brag for years that I was able to sneak up on you,” you rolled your eyes at the witch and splashed water at her before drying your hand. “That was uncalled for.”

“Are you hungry? I can make you something quick,” you said, ignoring her question by opening the fridge and pretending to look through it. But you felt her eyes on your back. “Stop that,” you said.

“Then answer my question,” you sighed and closed the fridge. Wanda sat on a chair, and you leaned against the counter. Thankfully, Wanda gave you time to collect your thoughts. It seemed wild that these people cared about you when you hadn’t been in the compound for long. It was a feeling you were getting used to. You’ve been on your own for so many years. Sighing, you twisted the ring your sisters gave you for your birthday.

“Carol asked if I wanted to hang out tonight, and I said yes,” you said slowly.

“You guys hand out all the time,” Wanda said with a slight tilt of her head. That was true. If you weren’t with Wanda or your sisters, you were with Carol.

“Her asking me felt different,” you told her. “I think she asked me on a date.” A smile grew on the witch’s face.

“Finally!” She threw her arms in the air. “I’ve been so tired of listening to her thoughts whenever you guys are in the same room.” You felt your body heat up.

“She thinks about me?” You questioned.

“All the time,” she answered honestly. “Some thoughts aren’t very PG,” you groaned and snapped a towel at her. Wanda laughed and took your weapon of choice. “I will be fine,” she said. “Besides, she is in your mind just as much, if not more.” You flipped Wanda off as she took an orange from the fruit bowl and left.

You tried to keep your thoughts at bay around Wanda. Yelena told you the story of how they met the witch. You trusted her, especially since your sisters did, but your mind was filled with so much bloodshed you caused that you did not want to subject her to that. Of course, she was right. Carol always seemed to be on your mind. Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing after all.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“An arcade?” you questioned and looked at Carol. You stood at the entrance, amazed by the sounds and lights.

“Yeah, I thought it would be fun and a little competitive.” Carol walked over to the counter and bought two game cards from the high schooler. You were busy looking at the lights flashing and the sounds of the games. “Is this okay?” she asked and handed you a card that looked like an ID.

“I’ve never been to one,” you followed her to where the prizes were. They had candy, stuffed animals, and fidget toys. Above everything else were the more expensive prizes like game consoles and household products. You weren’t sure what a kid would do with an air fryer. “There was one in the mall in Ohio, but I wasn’t allowed to go in.” You were so jealous of the kids that were running around being kids.

“Is this okay?” Her question snapped you of your thoughts. She looked concerned.

“I’m gonna kick your ass in that shooting game I saw.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You won the shooting game, but she got more tickets than you. Combined, you had enough for a small teddy bear that she gave to you, and after the arcade, she took you to dinner for food. You had a great time. Not that you feared you wouldn’t, but this felt different. You weren’t afraid to hide your glances at her as you watched her concentrate on the silly games. She was adorable, and the smile on your face hurt your cheeks.

“Hey,” Carol’s gentle voice pulled you out of sleep. “We are back at the compound.” You opened your eyes and blinked away the sleep.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” you rubbed your eyes and Carol smiled.

“It’s fine,” she said and turned off the car. You looked cute.” It was reflexes when you punched her arm softly, but you felt your body heat up at the compliment. Her laughter followed you as you exited the car with her teddy bear in hand. Out of the car, you heard the weather—the pounding of the rain against the walls. There was the distinct sound of thunder.

“It’s raining,” you said.

“Yup,” Carol closed the door of the car. “We seemed to have followed the storm.” A smile grew on your face. “Why are you smiling?” You loved the rain. You loved laying in bed and listening to the weather back in Ohio. Sooner rather than later, Yelena would end up in your but that moment of peace you cherished. Without answering, you placed your prize on the car’s roof and walked to the garage door. The hum of the garage opener filled the silence. Then, the smell of petrichor filled your lungs. “What are you doing?”

You glanced over your shoulder with a mile and walked up the driveway. Immediately, the rain soaked your clothes. A gasp left your lips as the temperature of the rain startled you. Soon, your body got used to the cold. “You are going to get sick,” Carol said with a smile and crossed arms.

“I can’t get sick,” it was a half-truth. It was more challenging for you to get sick. “You can come keep me warm,” you smirked. You held your breath as you watched Carol think it over. Maybe you were being too forward. Perhaps all she wanted was to be friends. The captain shook her head. With a smile, she ran up the ramp and into you. You laughed as you wrapped your arms around her neck, and she spun you in a circle. Carol placed you on the ground. Your laughter died down, and you stared at her lips.

You couldn’t remember your first kiss. It was before Ohio, you thought - a short kiss between you and another Window. As you got older, kissing was used as a tool. You would make out with a target and slip a sedative in their drink. Now you wanted to kiss someone and have it mean something. That scared you. Would kissing her change what you already had? You would rather stay friends than ruin it.

“Tag your it,” you said, tagged the Avenger, and ran off. Running seemed like the more straightforward thing to do.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Carol sighed and stepped out of the bathroom. Her hair was still wet from the shower, but she had time to dry and style it. Her phone rang when she changed into gray pants and a white sports bra. “Hey Val,” she said, placing the phone on speaker. “I find it rude that you aren’t at this party.” Val laughed.

“Maybe Stark shouldn’t plan something so last minute,” Val had a point. “Turn on your camera. Let me see what you are wearing.” Carol rolled her eyes and placed her phone against the lamp to turn on the camera. She was finishing buttoning her white shirt when her friend’s face appeared on the phone. “I like the gray suit,” she wiggled her eyebrows. “Is she going to be there?”

“Not sure,” Carol stood in the bathroom to dry her hair and brushed it out. “She’s returning from a mission. Nat isn’t sure if she’ll be back.”

“But you are still trying to look hot,” Carol shrugged.

“Always good to be prepared,” she returned to the closest to put on her gray vest. It was more than just looking good. She felt confident in this suit. After the almost kiss in the raid, she needed all the confidence she could get.

“What’s wrong?” Val asked. “If you keep frowning like that, you will get more wrinkles.” The captain flipped her friend off. “So what’s the matter?” Carol sighed.

“We almost kissed last week, and we haven’t hung out since then,” she told her. “I don’t want to force her into something she isn’t ready for. I’d rather be friends than lose her.” Val was watching her closely.

“You aren’t forcing her, Carol,” she said. “If she did not like you, she wouldn’t hang out with you. " That was true, but Carol was worried. She is her own person.” You were, and Carol was lucky to see glimpses of the person you were becoming. “Goodness, you have it bad for her.”

“Shut up,” Carol mumbled, but she did not deny it. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Let me know how it goes!” Carol waved and ended the call. She had it bad for you, and it was so worth it.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“There she is!” Yelena cheered. Carol watched the blonde run over to you. Something short-circuited in Carol’s brain. It wasn’t her proudest moment; the way her jaw dropped, a bit of her drink fell down her chin.

“Damn, you got it bad, Danvers,” Steve laughed and handed her a napkin. Carol snatched it out of his hand.

“Language, soldier,” but he wasn’t wrong. It was hard not to look at you. She saw the politicians glance your way. The red dress highlighted your figure with a thigh slight and spaghetti straps. She could tell you were wearing little makeup, but you never needed it, in her opinion. Steve chuckled.

“Maybe you should tell her how you feel,” he said. “You never know what could happen”. Carol looked at Steve and then back at you. Natasha and Maria joined the small group around you. You caught her looking, and you waved. She raised her glass to you with a smile. It was embarrassing how often she thought about kissing you or holding you in her arms. But she promised your sisters and herself she would take it slow and not force you.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Maybe you’re right.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

God, you hated parties with politicians. The dress wasn’t helping your situation, but when Sonya discovered your slight crush on Carol, she suggested the red dress. It was working. Her eyes were on you as soon as you arrived, but she hadn’t moved toward you. You sat at the table with your back to the wall, nursing a rum and coke. Yelena was with Sam and Wanda. Natasha was talking with some politicians whose names you couldn’t remember. You weren’t worried. She could handle herself around men like this. Men who valued power over personal values. It was hard to find a good politician these days. Maria and Steve were with her.

Honestly, you were so exhausted - mind, body, and soul - which wasn’t helping your mood. The past three days were late nights chasing down Widows, exposing them to the red dust, and then helping them settle. All you wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for a week, but luck was not on your side. Tony was having a party with a few politicians. You could have gone back to Russia, but it was packed with Widows, and you would get no rest with Alexei being annoying. So, the compound was the best option. Even though Yelena wanted to see you at the party. “Well, well, well,” a man said, walking over to you. He was drinking an old fashion. “Mind if I join you?”

“It’s all yours, sir. " He smiled and took the empty seat. I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.”

“David Palmer,” he extended his hand for you to shake. Before you could introduce yourself, he cut you off. “I know who you are,” you said, keeping your smile on your face and tapping into your training. To everyone here, you were a businesswoman from Boston. The fewer people who knew you were with the Avengers, the better.

“Who am I, Mr. Palmer?” You asked and sipped on your drink. You saw Carol looking at you over the man’s shoulder.

“You are Dreykov’s spider,” he whispered as if he were telling you a secret. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but you kept on smiling. It was only a matter of time before you ran into someone who knew your past. You wished it wasn’t happening here. You circled the liquid in your glass and leaned back in the chair with your right leg crossed over your left. His eyes trailed up and down your body.

“If I am who you think I am,” you said. “What will you do with that information, Mr. Palmer?” He sipped on his drink and looked around the party.

“Do they know?” He questioned. “Do they know everything you did for him?” Natasha and Yelena knew a fraction of what occurred between you and Dreykov. But you wanted to keep that a secret for the others, especially Carol. “I’m guessing they don’t because you are among the heroes here.”

“What do you want, Palmer?” You asked. You were done with being nice. He wanted something. It was the only reason he was here. David placed a hand on your thigh. You fought your instincts not to break every one of his fingers. You hated the way his hand felt on you.

“Just one night with you,” he said. “Or I won’t go to the press. No one will know that the Avengers are harboring a killer.” His hands squeezed the flesh of your thigh. “You can imagine how bad that would look for them.”

They would lose their credibility with the public. Everything would be questioned. As for you, well, you could not care. You had to protect them, but you hated the idea of sleeping around to keep a secret. “Thank you, Mr. Palmer, but I’d have to decline your very generous offer.” You removed his hand and stood up. Before you could walk away, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back, flesh to his chest.

“Do you think you are better than us, slut?” He asked. You’ve dealt with men like this before. Men that weren’t used to hearing no. “You are a nobody without the men that made you. So get on your knees and start serving me.”

Before you reconnected with your sisters, you would have done it. You would have gotten on your knees and pleased him because that was how you were trained. You were different now. Your life was different, and you hated the way this man touched you. You twisted out of his hold and grabbed a pressure point on his wrist. The man crumbled to his knees. The irony. “It’s not nice to grab someone if they don’t want to be touched.” You felt the eyes of everyone at the party. You were causing a scene.

You quickly turned around, put your half-finished drink on the bar, and walked to the stairs to the roof. Even with the Red Room gone, that place was still haunting you.

You liked the way the cold weather felt on her arms. It was like a gentle embrace, a crisp and refreshing touch that awakened your senses. The air’s chill contrasted with your skin’s warmth, creating a delightful shiver. There was a sense of tranquility in the coolness, a quiet calm that settled over everything. Each breath you took felt clearer and purer. “What did he say to you?” Carol asked, walking up behind you.

“Nothing, I haven’t heard before,” you answered, not looking at her. Even when she stood next to you.

“You can tell me if it would make you feel better.” You shook your head.

“I don’t want you to look at me differently,” you admitted. She was quiet as you both stared into the vast darkness.

“I could never,” you glanced at her, and she looked at you. “Do you need a hug?” she asked. You nodded, and she was quick to pull you into a hug. Her warmth was intoxicating. Your body relaxed, and muscles loosened as if you had shredded a heavyweight. Her hug felt safe, a sanctuary where you could feel relaxed and at ease. “I almost punched him,” she broke the beat of silence that passed between you and her.

“Better you than me. He’s a slimy piece of shit,” her chest vibrated as she laughed.

“Oh, I know. I hated how he looked at you,” so did you. It was like you were a piece of meat to him. Then again, it wasn’t a look you were unfamiliar with. You pulled out of the hug to look at her better. “You do look stunning in this dress, by the way,” you smiled and fixed her tie and gray vest that you had messed up from the hug.

“You don’t look half bad yourself, Captain.” You liked the way her cheeks blushed. “I wore this for you, by the way,” you walked away, fingers running across the metal railing. You felt her eyes on your back.

“Wait, wait,” she jogged to catch up. “What did you mean by that?” You shrugged as she gently grabbed your wrist but immediately let go of you. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have grabbed you.” You frowned at her statement. You offered her your hand, and she took it. “Why did you wear this dress for me?” She asked. You concentrated on the way your hand felt against hers. Her hand was rough but warm. It showed years of hard work.

“I wanted you to notice me,” you whispered.

“Notice you?” Carol questioned. “I am always noticing you. I can’t keep my eyes off of you,” a small squeak left the back of your throat. Carol smiled. “Do you want to go on a date?”

“Like a date-date?” You questioned. “Not as friends, but maybe as something more.”

“Do you want to be something more?” The question stumped you. But Carol was patient and played with the ring your sisters gave you on your finger. Did you want more? Did you want to go on dates? To fall asleep in her arms? To wake up to the feeling of her lifts on your skin? The idea terrified you. Before Carol, you ‘dated’ two other people. One was a girl in your class in Ohio. You both were too young to understand what it meant. The second person was a Red Room guard who trusted the man’s loyalty. He failed, so he was killed. There was a brief moment when you thought you were in love with the Winter Solider, but Carol could be different.

She would be someone without the influence of the Red Room, someone who understood a life of fighting, someone who could like you and look based on the scars on your body and the blood on your hands. “Yes,” you finally said. “But I’m not sure if I’ll be good at this,” Carol smiled and hugged you again. Immediately, you slummed into her warmth.

“I’m in the same boat,” she chuckled. “We can learn together.” Her lips briefly touched your forehead. The spot tingled, and it made you smile.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Your eyes closed as soon as your back hit your bed. Carol walked you to your room, kissed you on the cheek, and wished you a good night. You were frozen to the spot for a split second, and touched your cheek. Finally, you entered your room, showered, changed, and flopped onto the bed. The exhaustion of the past few days was catching up to you. But your eyes were forced open when there was rapid knocking on your door. “Come in,” you called out. The door opened. Suddenly, a body jumped on you, and blonde hair covered your vision. You groaned. “Get your fat ass off of me,” you pushed your sister off, and she fell onto the floor with a grunt.

“First of all, I am not fat,” she stood up. “Second, you are just jealous of this ass.” You rolled your eyes, and she sat next to you. “We wanted to make sure you are okay.” You pushed yourself up to your elbows and saw Natasha. Your sisters were changed and freshly showered.

“Stark threw that jackass out, and Maria is working on getting him removed from office,” it was a start, and you were grateful they were taking it seriously. But you knew it was only a matter of time before another dirty politician took his place.

“I’m okay,” you told your sisters. You watched Natasha close the door and sit down next to you. “What he said to me is stuff I’ll always hear.” You were numb to all of it. You’ve been called a monster, a slut, a killer. Everything from A to Z was thrown at you. It was something you were used to.

“I thought Carol was going to kill him,” Yelena said. “Steve had to stop her.” The mention of Carol made you smile, biting your lip, which Natasha noticed.

“What happened on the roof?” You shrugged, but the smile gave you away. Natasha nudged your shoulder with hers. “Come on, tell us.”

“She asked me on a date,” you said slowly. “And I said yes.”

“You said yes?” Yelena questioned. You nodded. There was silence before Yelena squealed and put her arms around you. She shook you from side to side.

“You and Natasha could go on double dates,” Honestly, that was the last thing you wanted to do. You pushed Yelena to the floor again. “Stop doing that!” You laughed and looked at the redhead. You weren’t sure why you looked for Natasha’s approval.

“I’m so happy for you,” she squished your cheeks. “Look at you dating. I love seeing you all happy,” you pushed her hands away and glared at her. That was payback for your teasing with Maria.

“I hate you,” you deadpanned. Natasha smiled. She stood up and moved to the top of your bed. “What are you doing?” You asked.

“You need sleep,” she answered. “Melina said it had been a long few days.”

“Alright, Mom,” you crawled up to the headboard. “Are you going to tuck me in?” She flicked your forehead. “Fuck off!” You said and rubbed the spot she flicked.

“Move over,” Yelena said, pushing you to the bed’s edge.

“I’m gonna need some room, too,” Natasha added. Yelena pushed closer to you, and Natasha laid down next to her. “You need a bigger bed.”

“I wasn’t expecting sleepovers all the time,” you said, closing your eyes and slowly falling asleep to the steady beat of Yelena’s heart. Then you felt Natasha’s hand on your shoulder. You opened your eyes to see Natasha looking at you.

“I hope you know we don’t think you are any of those things that man called you,” she whispered. “No one here does.” You forced a smile.

“Thank you, Nat,” you whispered. “Now go to sleep,” she chuckled, and you closed your eyes. It did not matter what they thought of you. You knew who you were. You knew you were a killer. The blood on your hands runs deep. No matter how often you tried washing your hands, the blood remained.