#this series sticks out in my head as being particularly bad but honestly

[junonreactor]

GIRL HELP. NEW ER AGON BOOK?

[emilinqa]

what do you think about the search for spock

LOLL thank you for asking. i wasnt expecting someone to actually send me an ask when i said that but youve opened pandoras box. so.

i think the thing about the search for spock that makes it stick in my head so bad is that in reality its like. a mid movie. its okay. it falls short in almost everything it tries to do but it hits the emotional highs and lows and looks good which means it gets by just fine. it's one of those 80s movies where you get about an hour in and realize oh okay the plot is happening. like this is it. TMP suffers a little bit in this way too but its also why i find myself thinking about it much more than the "good" movies.

the curse of tmp and tsfs that particularly riddles me is that i think they have some really interesting things going on conceptually that never come to fruition-- not necessarily at fault of the movie because they're ultimately minor and i dont really know how they would explore them in greater ways-- but that i find personally very compelling. i've said this before but i yearn for a star trek space horror movie so deeply and im not gonna punish either tmp nor tsfs for not being something they're not trying to be but i think the horror elements of both movies are really untapped in terms of fan exploration/meta/content. the spock/mccoy stuck in the same body mind meld thing is played mostly for laughs (because it is a good bit. and very funny) but honestly i find the fact it like. physically makes mccoy sick and absolutely freaks everyone the fuck out like good for haunting reasons.

THIS SCENE in particular i think hits the mark on the weird creepy aspect of mccoy being partially posessed by spocks katra

it also helps its shot and lit clearly with some horror influences in mind; the way bones is sitting creepily in the chair while spocks voice speaks through him, enshrouded in shadow, etc.. of course the movie has to split itself between the ship and what's happening on the genesis planet but i really would have loved some more of these moments where spock is Haunting the enterprise and its freaking everyone the fuck out. there is that bit later on where bones actually speaks in spocks voice on the bridge and kirk turns around like wow bones that was really cool never do that shit again that was freaky as fuck and its mostly just funny but the implication that spocks actual voice can be spoken through mccoys body is something im thinking about. really bad.

i really enjoy the ways the movie shows kirk is so deeply haunted by the death of spock (i mean, the movie opens with him saying "the death of spock is like an open wound" so.) and obviously by extension, mccoy, who is stuck with spocks literal soul in his brain the whole movie. the mind meld scene with sarek is also a really good moment which is also just shot and lit well. are you sensing a theme here. im easily swayed by pretty colors.

this in combination with the weird gross regenerative process spock's body is going through on the genesis planet is very compelling to me. i was talking to a friend about this recently and he brought up that he was imagining that spock and the genisis planet had kind of a symbiosis; that he could feel the terror and disaster of the planet even outside of the biological regeneration process his own body was going through which i thought was fascinating. especially because of all the moments during the series where spock would mind meld with a being everyone else was unable to comprehend as a life form. theres something there.

its not really explored in the movie, and really not in depth in any of the further movies, but i also think spock losing his memory after being rejoined with his body is an interesting addition to the themes of rebirth and memory. the rift created between everyone who remembers spock before and wants to allow the New Spock to be the man he wants to be, but they're ultimately haunted by the lives they all had with him before. kirk having spent a whole life with him, only to lose him, gain him back, and then have spock not really remember what they had before. kirk trying not to resent him for it, spock knowing it doesn't make sense to be hurt that kirk wants him to be something he can't, etc etc. its good stuff.

tldr they should send me back in time so i can make the 80s star trek horror movie ive always wanted.

[chocolatebageltje]

I've just finished watching the Fear Street trilogy and I'm. I am living for these movies omg they've been spinning in my head like a hamster in a wheel for the past few days. They're so good, I haven't had a movie that kept me so fully engaged all throughout in a while and especially the sound design is what does it for me. I will be watching them all over again soon just to see if I didn't pick up on some things that were concluded later. Despite being a pretty rounded whole I'd almost wish they'd make more sequels about the individual Shadyside killers just to get more content out of the universe. The series is going into my favorite movie catalog for sure.

Also, I deadass need someone to do a thorough character analysis on Nick Goode specifically lol. @ me if you're that person bc I need to DISCUSS. (Spoilers below)

I found him sus on so many occasions throughout the series but every time I ended up letting my guard down regardless because he was just portrayed as so likable to me?? After he turned his back on Ziggy at the end of part 2 I felt he might've known something and that it was a dick move, but I also kinda felt that there might've been a good reason for it and that he'd get a redemption arc. But BOI that turned out...different. Deadass though, as evil as he ended up being, I kinda felt there had been some shreds of good left in there as well, just heavily overpowered by all of the rest.

Idk if this is supposed to be the actual meaning of it but, to me it seemed that as it was said the Goode's were able to get whatever they wanted through the deal with the devil, Nick desperately wanted Ziggy survive her injuries and so she did. (Like deadass the chick got stabbed big time how tf does one survive that??) And if that was the case, that they could technically wish for whatever they wanted, couldn't he technically also wish for Ziggy to stick with him regardless? But that could blow his cover so... But when they met again at the mall, I found his expression quite hard to read. I felt maybe he had a moment of guilt maybe? Feelings coming back to the surface? But then he deadass tried to human sacrifice her right after so even if so it was pretty meaningless in the end 💀 Maybe his ego was just too big to be fully real with himself? Am I giving this man too much credit?

Also what I found interesting is that it seemed like the dudes could pick the name of the sacrificed person themselves. Did they just pick at random given the killers ended up so random or was it deliberate in some way? Would they know when it'd happen? (Bc if so it'd be kinda stupid of Nick to choose Tommy, the boyfriend of the sister of the girl he crushed on, with a camp coming up where said girls both would be at. 😂)

I'll probably have more to rant about after I get some sleep, but his character was something that I found particularly interesting. Every character honestly was so layered to me with both bad and good perspectives to them and how they behaved. I'm gonna stop so this won't become endless lol, but pls tap in if you too want to gush about these movies!

[coolcattime]

2, 5, 33!

2. Top 5 games of all time.

5) The Sims 3

The game I will play non-stop for a couple of days at a time and then not play for months! But gods do I love The Sims 3. I think my love for the third game is mostly just because it’s the one I played first, but I just couldn’t really get into the other games as much.

4) Cook Serve Delicious 2 & 3

Welcome to the games which I have way too much love for given that they are literally just typing games, but I genuinely cannot get enough of them. I have 100% achievement completion across the whole series, and while I do still love Cook Serve 1 and Forever, the game play styles of 2 & 3 just are the frantic mess of everything I love so much.

For context I have 682 hours in the games across the full franchise and a friend has described my “red flag” as the fact that “whenever I look at you on discord it says you're playing that goddamn cooking game”. 

3) Danganronpa

So I’m just counting all the main line games, because I don’t really think that I can separate them out to decide which I like the most. I really like this franchise. It gets my love of death games and mysteries into one and I don’t think any other game series has made me cry as much (maybe Telltale’s The Walking Dead). Do they have their faults and odd moments, yes, but I like them regardless. ((And I’m really looking forward to the Dead Meat upcoming kill count on Trigger Happy Havoc… even if I fully agree with Chelsea that I’m not gonna be looking in the comments))

2) Your Turn to Die

Honestly, I cannot describe the love I have for Your Turn to Die. It is just such a game that fits right into my interests, and that I have such a good time whenever I’m playing it. I think Sara is one of my favourite protagonists in any game, and I just love theorising and experimenting with the formula.

1) To The Moon

To The Moon is, well, it’s a real special game to me. It’s both really silly and really sad in equal measure and it’s just a story I really treasure. The story of a pair of doctors travelling through a dying man’s memories to grant his dying wish is genuinely such a simple concept but it creates such a wonderful story and I wholeheartedly recommend it.

5. Most memorable gaming moment?

So I play a lot of games with my best friend, like a lot of story games particularly like ones with a lot of dialogue we play together either blind or with one of us already knowing the story and kinda guiding the other through it.

And so this is the way that we play YTTD, originally my friend had played a little ahead because they had been playing with a different friend who introduced YTTD to them, but I really remember the moment where we both got into being blind. It was right at the end of Chapter 2, Part 1 and they had seen the route where Reko died. However, we didn’t actually realise it was a route system, we thought it was a pass-fail puzzle where if you fail then Reko dies.

So we passed the puzzle, and then just the whole scene in the Room of Lies was such an emotional gut punch as at first it just seemed like Reko died anyway and then Alice’s fucking stomach exploded. And just genuinely the shock and emotions of that whole scene just sticks in my head so much.

I do honestly have a lot of memorable moments from playing games with my friend, just cause I think that’s the nature of playing games with other people! (Honourable mentions: Them genuinely believing a 7 year old was the killer in Ace Attorney, and just so many of the reveals in Danganronpa).

33. Most embarrassing gaming moment.

Honestly, it's not really a moment, more a series of moments across my life, but it’s probably the fact that I just am really bad at Pokemon. Like I have genuinely never been good at them despite being decent at other like turn based combat games and really liking the collecting part of the story.

There has not been a single pokemon game that I’ve played where I haven’t gotten stuck for at least an hour at some point just from dying over and over. This is to the point where I have only actually gotten to the end of 2 of the games (X and Sword) but continue to buy them regardless of being very bad.

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Hades

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades

Lucifer

Well… this is awkward…

He’s actually met Hades multiple times for business reasons (Underworld-Devildom relations are amiable if not a little odd. Hades was something of an uncle figure to Diavolo as a wee demon lad, which should speak for itself really). He’s a gloomy fellow and not much for chit-chat, but he never thought they’d end up taking one of his kids by accident…

He had to send a formal apology letter to the Lord of the Underworld immediately, but thankfully he didn’t seem very concerned for his offspring - if anything he appeared to think the Devildom would suit them nicely which was… concerning.

And he was not wrong. The darkness, demons, ghouls, and frights of the Devildom hardly seemed to faze the MC, if anything they fit right in. He’d dare say they were thriving if not for one thing…

They were So. Damn. Bleak.

Getting a smile out of this one AT ALL was rare. For once he felt the need to check up on someone constantly just to be sure they were alright... They’d keep assuring the House that they’re not actually as sad as they look but it’s hard not to assume…

He was a little mortified at first when they first met Cerberus cause… well they called him “Cerbi” and the massive demonic guard dog rolled over for them like a Golden Retriever! 

Apparently he and the Cerberus that they knew are from the same litter and they must have smelt familiar... He would have probably limited their interactions just to keep his dog on his side but after seeing the MC smile for once while they played with the big oaf well…

Cerberus got a new playmate and the MC got a massive, three-headed therapy animal. Win-win. 😌

Mammon

Do ya really gotta be such a downer all the time, MC…? 😔

He thinks they’re nice, like really nice. They’re always super concerned when his brothers attack him or when he gets injured, but he’s pretty sure it’s because they’ve seen people die before so…

At first, he had no idea why he had to be saddled with this depressing wisp of mortal but over time he started to understand that they weren’t all that sad. They had… Resting Gloom Face? Is that a thing? 

They also had a different way of seeing things. He could win the lottery and they’d tell him to stay inside so he wouldn’t get hit by lightning or if he pissed off the wrong people, they’d joke about him keeping his fingers and toes. Dark stuff, but not intended to be so… well morbid.

However, what he eventually found out that the REAL advantage to having a Hades kid in the Devildom was that nothing scared them. Literally nothing. Not even the ghosts - which to reiterate, are terrifying!

Cue Mammon getting dragged to horror movies nights with his brothers and pulling the MC along to be his personal security blanket. He’ll hold onto them for dear life as they just pat his head or something, watching and not even flinching at the jumpscares.

The first time the House had an unexpected power outage he clung onto the back of their shirt like a lost child while they calmly looked for the circuit-breaker...

If he could jump into their arms every time something scary happened like Scooby-Doo, he absolutely would. His brothers make fun of him, but after seeing the MC handle Cerberus like a puppy any time something frightens them they hide behind the mortal as well…

Leviathan

In some ways, he totally relates to their moodiness but come on! Who can still look so sad when watching The Magical Ruri Hanai: Demon Girl?? Ruri-chan can make anyone smile! 😠

When he first met the MC, he was a little confused about why they didn't find him intimidating at all. He even reverted to his demon form and showed his fangs but no dice! All they said was, "I've walked along the edge of Tartarus. You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that, buddy…" 

That was probably his first sign that the "human" wasn't normal…

After Mammon told him who their Dad was, things made a lot more sense. A child of Hades in the Devildom? That's ironic enough to be its own anime plot!! They certainly felt like an angsty protagonist at times. 🤷‍♀️

Truth be told, they could relate to each other in a lot of ways. You wouldn't think that an offspring of the Underworld and a demonic shut-in would have much in common but the one thing they share between them is that sense of never really fitting in.

Turns out that Hades kids are black sheep, even among other demigods, and Levi? Well, he's had trouble relating to others since his angel days. He and the mortal were like off-beat kindred spirits!

Which, I mean, you wouldn't get just by looking at them together. Levi being the impassioned super-otaku rambling their ear off while his somber companion would just go along with him quietly, but hey, there's more beneath the surface. Probably. 

Now if he could just get them to cosplay as the Lord of Emptiness with him… They'd be perfect! Perfect he says!!

Satan

Highly considered drugging their food with antidepressants for a while… 

This was before getting to know them better, of course, but for the first couple months he honestly couldn't shake the feeling that the mortal looked miserable! 

Now, he's one to particularly care for the comfort of strangers, but just looking at them like that every day would sour his own mood quite considerably. It was very irritating...

It was only on closer inspection that he realized there was something else at play, though.

The mortal was different - even for a demigod he imagined. They took to the Devildom easily and the realm almost accepted them right back!

The flora looked better in their presence, the hellish beasts that roamed the wilds would roll over for them, and they even seemed to be welcomed in by the never-ending shadows… 

It was fascinating. Like the effects of the Underworld were baked into their DNA and mingled with the environment around them… Two layers of darkness coexisting within one person.

I mean, what other creature - other than Lucifer - could ride Cerberus around like a pony??

Had they not been so kind, they'd probably scare him shit-less... Their potential power was too great to ignore. But after getting used to their gloom, at least they made for pleasant company. 🤷‍♀️

Satan likes them well enough, but even still he has to wonder just what they were capable of… you know?

Asmodeus

Oh. My. WORD. What a buzzkill!!!

Really, the new mortal was no good at parties or pictures for that matter!

Not because they looked bad, or even because he couldn't get them to smile, but because GHOSTS would always photobomb any pictures they were in!! 😫

One time he got a selfie with them on the couch and a creepy ghost child could be seen hiding behind the cushions so NOPE. No more photos with the mortal around!!

Aside from that, he couldn't say the mortal was all bad or anything…They were pretty friendly, despite their general look and feel. 

Though, personally, he thought they wore far too much black... Even in the Devildom, there's normally a pop of color, you know? Was that just the Hades dress code?

And you want to know the weirdest thing? Despite everything about them screaming "Doom and Gloom," they're straaaangely popular among the RAD dating scene…

Like. Not as some heartthrob, "Love'em and Leave'em"-type, but he's found that there's a LOT of his demonic classmates who think they're cute or have a crush on them in some way…

Naturally, he can see the appeal of the mysterious, moody demigod with a dark, troubled past. It's just the demigod in question is completely oblivious to it! 🤷‍♀️

He tried to give them dating tips or play matchmaker from time to time but eventually gave up when it was clear they weren't interested. Alas, students of RAD, this is one forbidden fruit that refuses to be shared…! Such a tragedy… 😔

Beelzebub

They remind him of Belphie… like. A lot.

The similarities were obvious. They had a similar feel, made similar jokes, and even the same somewhat dreary attitude about them...

If he were being honest, at the beginning there were times when he'd open up to them a lot more than he intended because he'd forget that he wasn't actually talking to Belphie…

Thankfully, he knew better than to try and treat them like his replacement or anything. They were two different people after all. But it didn't stop him from feeling extra protective around them for a while.

Besides, there was ONE thing that set them leagues apart from Belphie and that was the fact they were a shit cook. Not quite as bad as Solomon but uh… Actually no, that's a closer call than it has any right to be...

Apparently, Hades kids don't need to eat as much and when you hang out with shades and skeletons for most of your life, you don’t really worry about making food that's any better than… "Well, technically it's edible." 🤷‍♀️

Their food won't kill a person like Solomon's, but you WILL start seeing stuff you probably shouldn't. He tried their "soup" once and swore he saw the ghost of his mother… and he doesn't even have a mother!!!

He swears that if he ever sees the MC and Solomon working together in the same kitchen he's skipping town… Whatever culinary abomination the two of them could create would probably gain sentience and eat HIM instead. He's always figured he'd go out with Death by Food, but not like that!! 😫

Belphegor

Ever meet someone who’s like looking in a mirror? Yeah, he’s getting those vibes…

He never expected the "human" to be so similar to him, it was kind of uncanny.

Upon first laying eyes on each other there was a pause… then a squint… and then… a nod.

Honestly, their combined dry wit, dark humor, and pessimistic outlook played off of each other surprisingly well. Too well for him to hate, really.

Not that it mattered because they didn’t believe him for a second when he tried to trick them (they had dealt with loads of lying monsters before). He hated to admit it, but they had a good head on their shoulders and knew better than to trust a locked up demon…

And yet, they seemed to stick around with him anyway. Because of the good conversation or just empathizing with his loneliness was anyone's guess. 🤷‍♀️

Sometimes they'd come up and sit outside the door in comfortable silence… Or they'd talk about whatever:

MC: *sitting out by the attic with their back against the door* So what happens to demons when they die…?

Belphie: *laying on the floor on the other side, staring at the ceiling* Depends on the kind. If I die, I'll just reform later.

MC: Like a reincarnation?

Belphie: Eh. *shrugs* Maybe. Haven't died yet.

MC: You could die in there, you know.

Belphie: *throws a side glare* Well thanks for bringing that up…

MC: *shrugs* What? It's true. But don't worry, I won't let you. *small-ish smile*

Belphie: *stares at them wide-eyed and pink-cheeked before turning on his side quickly* Ugh… whatever…

They did their word, somehow. They eventually got the door open and let him out, but by that time the anger was gone and he was just happy to finally talk to them face-to-face...

And good thing too, because apparently it's not smart to fight a death-child in what is essentially their element - as he saw when they summoned an army of skeletons to kick Levi's ass when he cheated them in Devil Cart...

He would not have lasted in that fight... Dodged a bullet there. 

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

I’m On Fire [Chapter 1]

Summary: With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.

A/N:  This is the first part in a series, I’ve written the first few chapters already so I’m hoping to update pretty regularly! I hope you guys enjoy, and any feedback is always appreciated! ❤️

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby

Warnings: None really for this chapter, cursing? Mean-ish Spencer

Word Count: 6.5k

Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist 

I wasn’t at the BAU long before it started to feel like home. The team became my family, pure and simple.

Having been recruited by Hotch at only 22 I'd sort of fallen into the roll of the little sister to the team without really meaning to. It's not that I was naive, or particularly sheltered even. I know I'm good at my job, and I'd want to be, given how my life's revolved around it almost entirely. But the team seemed to adopt a protective mindset over me right off the bat.

When I first joined the FBI everything was terrifying. I worked so hard for my PhD, trying to get into the unit, but there's almost nothing that can actually prepare you for the real thing. Being out in action in the field, working the cases out in real time. Sometimes they had a smooth, easy conclusion followed by loud obnoxious drinks together. Then there were the others, the ones that kept me up for days after and felt as though they owned little pieces of my heart still.

It was JJ that helped the most on those horrible flights back on the jet. Noticing my anxious ticks and uneasy disposition after that first case that had ended badly. JJ had been through it all before, taking too many cases home with her. Seeing her son's little faces in the kids that we couldn't help. If I was the baby of the team JJ was the big sister, looking out for everyone.

Morgan on the other hand was the outrageously cool older brother, the one you just wanted to be. Early on he'd helped my weak self with the ruthless fitness regimen the FBI required, he offered to pull some strings and get the test written off. But I couldn't accept that, there was something in me that just wanted to impress Morgan, and honestly still does. Like somehow if he thought you were cool, then it became true. So I passed the exam, but getting up a flight of stairs was near impossible for a week after.

Emily was probably the fun aunt. The one that would sneak you booze at the family gathering, or take you to your first concert. Emily was actually the one who'd found me, digging around colleges for potential recruits she'd had me picked out for a while I later found out. Insisting that Hotch give me a shot. It was reassuring to know I had someone who would stick up for me from day one.

I was an tech analyst, among other things, sort of a counterpart for Garcia in the field. So it was no surprise to anyone when the two of us hit it off as though we'd known each other forever. We weren't the same by any means though. Penelope was bold, and bright, and confident beyond measure, where I've typically felt like more of a blend into the background type. I've always thought of myself that way, despite my achievements. I'd also always believed I was fairly inoffensive, no one I'd met had ever had a huge problem with me, 'till I got to the BAU that is.

Every rose has its thorn I suppose.

That thorn in my side was Dr. Spencer Reid.

It wasn't that Dr. Reid was a bad agent, or even a bad person. I hadn't actually met him before that first day in the conference room, but I'd known who he was for a long time. Before I came along he'd held the mantle of 'youngest ever recruit' in the unit, while I was studying I'd read any of his work I could get my hands on because of that fact.

I figured it must've been some sort of hazing when he looked me up and down that first day I was introduced, and then proceeded to blank me entirely for a full week. Up until I'd wrapped my first case.

The whole team went straight from the jet to the bar. Proceeding to get far too drunk. Spencer joined, which the rest of the team found unusual, and I probably should've taken as a sign of things to come.

That case went well, and everyone was in high spirits but Reid had a sour disposition, at least it seemed that way every time he looked at me. After a few too many drinks I went outside in an attempt to sober up in the cold air, unfortunately Reid must've snuck outside not long before.

"Ugh" was all he said when he first caught my silhouette approaching him. The night was unusually cold so it had been deserted outside the bar that evening. I wasn't really sure why it made me nervous to be alone with him like this, the two of us leaning back against the same small area of brick wall, looking out at the cold night.

"Nice to see you too doctor" was all I could muster, I was drunk enough that I let my sarcastic tone leap out, "you can relax, I'm just trying to get some fresh air, it's too stuffy in there, and loud. I'm not here to talk to you or anything."

"Well aren't you a sensitive thing" he responds in kind, at that point I wasn't really sure if it was a coincidence or if he'd been genuinely avoiding me, but things were starting to clear up.

"I'm sensitive, that's a fun take on things" I joke, taking a long sip of cold water from my glass.

"And what's that supposed to mean, newbie?" his emphasis on the last word all but confirms my suspicions.

"Fuck man, what's your problem with me? Is it because I'm new, or because I beat your stupid record?" I quip. hoping that at the very least it might coax him out of his shell. Dr. Spencer Reid getting angry at me could honestly be better than the nothing I'd been experiencing from him until now.

"What stupid record?" he sounds genuinely confused

"I'm the youngest BAU recruit now?" I didn't know why else he could be so sour. He'd never met me before last week, and since he'd ignored me that first day I'd done all I could not to step on his toes. So if he had a reason to hate me this much, it wasn't something I'd done on purpose.

He takes a few moments to respond, raising his eyebrows and considering the information. He chuckles. He fucking chuckles.

"That's funny." he says, his voice leveling out, "I didn't peg you as funny newbie" that word sets something off in me again. Something about it is dismissive, or belittling. Before I could fight back he starts to move, maneuvering around me and heading back inside. A little too tipsy to think of anything constructive to say, I just mutter "Fuck you Spencer."

He swings open the door, as he walks inside he just says "See you Monday, Newbie" without even looking at me.

And that was only the beginning.

----

"You know I'm just trying to make sure you get enough rest sweetheart. There's no need to get so defensive!" it was far too early in the morning to be dealing with this call. Since joining the BAU a few years ago this was a standard call from my Mom. Equal parts well meaning and over-bearing, and generally asking far too many questions.

"I'm not getting defensive Mom, I get plenty of rest, my job is just very important to me and you know that." I knew she was right to be at least a little worried, this job was consuming, and in all honesty I wasn't sure how people like JJ were married and still here. It seemed like an impossible feat.

"Fine sweetie, how are your co-workers doing then? How's Penelope? Give her my love" she loved Penelope, I think she thought that Penelope tethered me to the normal world, and in a way she was right. She kept me sane, and fun, and made me eat pizza and do face masks once a week at least. Even when I didn't think I wanted to.

"Pen's great Mom, everyone's good. Well, the usual ones get on my nerves, but I'm fine." As I say it I glance across at Dr. Reid, the only person who's also in as early as I am most days. I'm not sure if he can hear me but he's tapping his pen so loud on his desk that it takes all of my energy not to walk across the bullpen and stab him with it.

"Y'know what Mom, I'm actually just after getting to work and it's a busy day so can I call you back later?" I chance, getting her off the phone is always an ordeal.

"Fine, fine, I'll let you go. But wait one last thing!"

I knew what was coming. It was always coming.

"Are you seeing anyone, Margot's been wondering too, just thought I'd check in?"

Pinching the bridge of my nose and trying not to scream down the line, I just sigh out the frustration instead.

"No Mom, believe it or not, I've made no progress on that front since you asked me all of 3 days ago."

"See you are being defensive!" she snaps

"I gotta go, bye Mom. Love you!" I say, hanging up quickly before dropping my head down into my arms on my desk, resting like that for a few moments in silence.

Hearing Garica chuckle behind my ear I perk up and spin around. She's holding a small paper cup of coffee and hands it to me. I look at it confused, "Sorry about the paper, I couldn't find your mug in the cabinet" she apologizes, looking over at Dr. Reid and rolling her eyes. Now I know he can hear me from his seat, he takes that moment to sip from my mug and place it gently back on his desk.

It hadn't taken long for him to start toying with me. It was always stupid childish things. Things I couldn't get genuinely annoyed at, that would give him far too much satisfaction, knowing he was getting to me in any real way. This was one trick he liked to play if he got into the office before me, he'd take my mug and make his coffee in it, just to spite me I guess.

"Why does he even do that, it's so stale" she said, just a little louder than normal to make sure he could hear. Garcia and Reid were still good friends and team-mates but she liked to stand up for me when she could. He liked to avoid me as much as possible so he'd usually go to Garcia before me if he needed help with something. Even when the two of us were out in the field together. Which was obnoxious but it was just another thing I'd gotten used to over time. And as long as it didn’t interfere with the case I just forced myself to let it go.

"I know it's such low grade bullying isn't it?" I shot back with a chuckle.

"So I'll take it that was Mommy dearest" Penelope gestures to my phone. She knew my Mom, and she knew about her general overbearing energy. I let out a groan thinking about the call again, and the calls that were to come.

"Isn't it always Mommy dearest?" I joke

"So she's still on your ass about the wedding then?" I'm sure Penelope was almost as sick of hearing about it as I was,

"Margot's getting married in like 4 months now, and every time Mom calls there’s just some new hometown loser she wants to set me up with Pen. It's fucking exhausting" I take a sip of the coffee she made me, savoring the bitter taste. She sits down on my desk for a moment, leaning in.

"Honey, did you ever think that if you got out there and found someone, she wouldn't be on your ass at all?" I don't want to think about that, about how she's completely right. All I can do is let out another small groan and lean back down onto my desk.

"Too early Pen" I say, it's muffled by the desk but she gets the message. Hopping up and heading to her own office as some more people start to arrive for the morning.

Leaving me alone to make a start on my paperwork that had built up throughout the week. Fridays were usually slow like this, giving me a little too much time to think. I couldn't shake the thought that my Mom and Penelope were actually right. Maybe I was a bit too invested in the job, and maybe that was a pretty big factor in why my last relationship imploded but I wasn't about to admit that to anyone.

----

After that the day crawls by, thankfully no cases pop up so the weekend might actually be free. Trying to make sure I clear up all of my paperwork takes a little longer than I'd hoped and leaves me alone in the bullpen. It seems like everyone's gone home by the time I've packed up and I'm ready to leave. Which wasn't as out of the ordinary as I'd like it to be really. Everyone else seemed to have somewhere to be on a Friday night.

Waiting for the elevator to arrive my phone started to ring, I could see my Mom's caller ID on the screen. If I just let it go I know she'll call back later, may as well get it out of the way. I take a deep breath in anticipation before I answer.

"Hey what's up?" I answer, stepping inside the elevator as the doors ping open.

"Hi sweetie, I've got good news! Do you remember David? That lovely boy, he helped out your Father that summer in high school?" I know what's coming and rub my temple, trying to stifle the headache I know is coming. As I answer a hand slides between the elevator doors, popping them open again.

Dr. Fucking Reid walks in, and he looks about as happy to see me as I am to see him. I make eye contact and look away just as fast, willing him away with my mind. "Yes Mom, I remember him, why are you telling me this?" I already know the answer but I'm fed up, she still sounds excited when she responds.

"Well you won't believe it! I ran into him at the market this morning and I thought you'd like it if I passed on your phone number to him, maybe for the weddi-" it took all I had not to shout into the receiver, and maybe I would've had the elevator been empty.

"Mom! Jesus!" I have to reign myself in, but I have a bad idea, "You know what, I'm actually sorted. I've got a date lined up now" I'm not sure why I said it with no real plan in place. She sounds even more excited than I've ever heard her.

"Oh my, that's amazing sweetie! That was fast, I can't believe you found one since this morning, it's someone from work so?" she assumes, and I'm just not thinking fast enough to correct her.

"Mmhmm, yeah" I'll figure out the logistics later I rationalize.

"Oh! Is it that boy you're always on about, the one who teases you?" she asks, and her voice is full of joy, and it makes me feel horrible that I'm lying already, and that I'm going to let her down.

"Yup, that's the one, look Mom I gotta go, I'll talk to you later! Night" I blurt out so fast it has to be obvious I'm nervous.

I can hear a stifled chuckle behind me. Fuck. How loud is my phone speaker. Could he hear that. Surely not. But this elevator was completely silent. The doors open and I have to stop myself from running to my car at top speed. Instead I walk out just a little faster than normal, turning around to shoot him a small wave goodbye. And he's got this devious smirk on his face that makes my stomach turn.

Sitting into my car I pull out my phone to text Garcia immediately.

I'm on my way to yours right now. It's urgent.

——

Traffic's light so it takes maybe 10 minutes before I arrive at Garcia's place. My mind's racing and my body takes me there on autopilot. Why did I say any of that, why did I even answer the damn phone. Why did I wave goodbye to Spencer, I never usually did that. Maybe that's why he had that look on his face. Maybe he was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier and it had nothing to do with me at all. That was something he'd do to mess with me for sure.

How was I going to walk this back with my Mom, she was just gonna have more questions that I couldn't answer. Fuck.

Garcia buzzed me up and her door was open for me by the time I got up the stairs. This little purple apartment had become my second home. It was where I spent most of my evenings off, laughing on the same sofa I was collapsing face first into right now. Garcia nestles in beside me and runs her hand over my hair, "Hey sweet pea, what's happening? I don't want to sound too concerned but you're not giving me much to go off? Are you dying, is there drama? You're going to have to tell me what's so urgent before I burst a blood vessel?"

I let out a muffled, "is drahmuh" into the pillow, Garcia shakes my shoulders.

"Sit up babe, damn!" I have to heave myself out of the pillows, sitting upright on the sofa beside her, clutching one of the pillows in my arms.

"It's drama" I repeat,

"Well, out with it then, you know I'll take all the drama I can get! Spill, spill" she rushes me along. I'm already apprehensive, Reid's her coworker too, but if anyone would understand why this was such an issue it was gonna be her.

"Okay, I'm after doing something stupid and I think I really need your advice" I cringe already, thinking back to the elevator, throwing out my words faster, I continue the story, mostly trying to get it over with, "my Mom called again when I was on the way out tonight and she was trying to set me up with this guy, and Reid was there, and I got all flustered, and I told her I had a date already" I throw my head down into the pillow again.

"Wait why was Reid there?" she looks like she's trying to fit puzzle pieces together and she's getting nowhere, "And what's the drama?"

"Shit Garcia, it was in the elevator and it was all quiet, and maybe he heard the call, maybe he didn't but he had this fuckin' look on his stupid face" I can't shake the smug little smirk, it's burned inside my eyelids. Garcia's face falls in what looks like disappointment.

"Ugh Y/N! That's nothing chill out, why does it matter if he heard your call? I know you guys are all weird but none of that is any of his business anyway!" she shoo's her hand in the air, dismissing the whole situation.

"No Garcia, it is his business now" I have to close my eyes when I say it, I can't look at her "I told my Mom that he was my date, well, I didn't say his name or anything, she assumed it was someone from work and so I just agreed, and then she suggested that it was him and then I fucking panicked Pen, I fucked up so bad. What do I do?"

I finally opened my eyes to look up at Garcia. She was sitting in pure silence, pursing her lips in what seemed like contemplation. The puzzle pieces finally slotting together. It's as though a light bulb goes off behind her eyes and she bursts out in fits of laughter. Doubling over on herself before finally taking a few breaths to calm herself down. I'm honestly not sure why she finds the whole thing so funny, she know's how needlessly annoying he's made my life, she's seen it first hand and heard me talk about it over and over again in this very apartment over pizza.

"Garcia, this is not fucking funny! This is serious!" I try to calm her down, I need advice not whatever this is.

"I'm so sorry Y/N, I love you dearly. But this isn't funny, this is hilarious. It's like you're Sandra Bullock in some mid-90's rom com. I love it" I don't love it, in fact I hate it. I nearly snap at her but pull myself back.

"Pen, come on, help me out. What do I do with this, how do I fix it?" I plead.

She stops laughing and pulls out her phone, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm going to order us a pizza, and we're gonna sort this thing out together, sound good?" I just nod and collapse back into the sofa. I think I feel better now that I've gotten it out in the open.

----

Penelope makes us tea while we wait for the pizza, she keeps lemon & ginger in her cabinet for me, just like I keep mint for her. The warm mug and the steam calm me down. After a few minutes alone to think about it I start to figure it out a little better. I figure I can just lie to my Mom for a while, it might suck but I can pretend for a bit and then make up some excuse as to why he can't come closer to the time. Then I can just bring Garcia instead and everyone's happy. I'm about to float my plan to her there's a knock on her door. I was so caught up that I hadn't really noticed quite how starving I'd gotten. Leaping up of the sofa to grab the door.

I swing it open but it's not the pizza guy. Somehow it's the opposite of the pizza guy, my worst nightmare is on the other side of the door. He must notice my eyes blow completely wide. "Y/N!" he says, more of a statement than a question really, like he's telling himself that he's actually seeing me in the doorway. I'm not as gentle.

"What the fuck are you doing here Reid?!" I can't even disguise my anger. He seems a little flustered, like he's got absolutely no idea how to proceed.

"Um, uh, is Garcia here? I can, um, I can just come back later?" he swallows hard and shakes his head, before I can agree and tell him to get lost Penelope races to the door, pulling it wide open.

"Nope, that won't be necessary Doctor! Come on in, you're right on time sweetheart" she waves him in and he walks past me, his demeanor changing almost instantly. He's smug, like he's won whatever battle this was. And I hate it. Though he's still as confused as me despite the newfound attitude. Reid sits down on the sofa, right where I had been sitting. I bite my tongue and sit on the opposite end.

"Are you okay Garcia?" he asks with a genuine concern, "What's going on, what was the emergency?". He's not stupid, he knows she's not in danger now that he's here. But he wants answers. I don't know that I've ever seen him this confrontational with anyone, well anyone but me. The entire time I’m staring her down as she sits in the armchair opposite the two of us. My keys are in my pocket and my car's right outside. I could just jump up and make a break for it. Escape.

"You know what Doc, you won't believe it but I'm not actually the one with the emergency" she takes a beat, and I'm starting to think that I might understand why people murder other people after all these years, "Y/N has something urgent she needs to talk to you about" she's silent for another moment, and she almost looks giddy, "Actually Spencer, you might already know a little something about the matter already, now that I think about it" she smirks, and it's pure joy.

My keys are in my hand ready to bolt when the doorbell chimes again. "Oh, that'll actually be the pizza this time, if you two will excuse me" she hops up out of the armchair and races to the door, leaving the two of us alone in a horrible silence. The tension is almost too much, I want to speak but I really have no idea what to say, or how to even start saying it. But he starts.

"Y/N what's going on, I feel like I'm out of the loop here? What am I missing?" he asks, and there's something uncharacteristically genuine about the way he says it, but he can't turn to look at me as he speaks. I almost want to let my guard down and just have a conversation but I can’t force myself to do it. "Shut up Reid." is all I mutter, folding my arms across my chest.

He turns sharply on the sofa to face me. "Hey Y/N. Believe it or not I'm about as happy as you with whatever kind of Parent Trap situation Garcia's got going on here. But from what I'm picking up on you've got a problem and I'm supposed to be able to help with it. So do you want to tell me what's going on or not? I can just go?" I can see that there's an anger bubbling right below the surface, threatening to burst. I know I shouldn't but I let him stew in silence for a little too long and he jumps up off the sofa.

"Y'know what, typical" he mutters, rolling his eyes as he says it, "this is all about you." he throws his bag over his shoulders and begins to walk towards the door. Something in me just snaps.

"All about me?! Are you fucking kidding? I've been tip-toeing around you for years, ever since I joined this damn unit!" I shout as Garcia comes back into the room, pizza box and plates in her hands.

"So, who's hungry?" Garcia asks, trying to break the tension, or pretending there's no tension at all. Reid shakes his head in disbelief and rubs his temple before he speaks again, "Actually I was just gonna head out" he gestures to the door, "I'm clearly not wanted here so I'm gonna leave you guys to it." Spencer makes a move to leave but Garcia grabs the strap of his shoulder bag, yanking him back ever so slightly before he really has the chance to escape.

"You are going absolutely nowhere kid" She points back to the sofa, "get back there" she glances to me, staring with far too much intensity. "You too, sit." Her voice is more stern than I've ever heard it, even while we were on a case. I can't help but obey her command and I sit back down on the sofa in silence. Followed by Reid, clearly processing the same uneasy feeling of a serious Penelope.

She sits opposite the two of us again. "Y/N, Spencer, I love the two of you with all of my heart, albeit separately, and I would die for either one of you. But you've got to chill the hell out!" she says it like she's had it bottled up forever. The tension that releases from her as she says it looks euphoric.

She opens up the pizza box and lays it on the coffee table and takes out a slice for herself. Taking a bite she leaves the two of us in stunned silence. Once she finishes the mouthful she turns to me specifically, "Y/N you tell him, or I will." dead serious. And the feeling in my belly is like I've just fallen down an elevator shaft.

My stomach is in knots as I turn to Spencer on the sofa next to me. His face is puzzled and I think I might be able to make out pure terror in his expression. I don't know that I've ever been looked at like this before and my stomach screws up tighter. I have to take a deep breath and I can't believe I'm about to say it. "Fuck it" I have to take another breath almost immediately so I just have to force the rest out, "I don't know if you heard the call I was on while we were in the elevator earlier?" I look up to gauge his reaction and I can see his face relax, and worse than that, one corner of his mouth lifts into a sort of smile. It's a look of pure smug satisfaction and I think I might scream. I have to close my eyes because I really don't think I can look at that face as I say the next part.

"My sister is getting married in a few months and my Mom's been on my ass to find a date for the wedding and she keeps trying to set me up with these losers, so I fucking panicked, and I told her you were my date." by the time the sentence is out my eyes have screwed up so tight it feels like I have to pry them open.

He sits in silence for too long. Thinking, maybe?

"So I'm the boy who teases you then?" he grins. So he did hear. And he did laugh. He looks far too self satisfied. Now he knows he's right. He knows I've talked to my Mom about him, that he's gotten in my head. I can tell from his smile that he's savoring the moment. Mostly because I can't slap the smug smile off his face I drop my head into my hands. In an effort to disappear I guess.

"So," he says, taking a moment, "is that all you wanted to say then?" he asks, lighthearted and obnoxious, back to his usual self. I snap back to reality, shooting my head back up.

"What do you mean is that all?" I throw back genuinely shocked,

"Is that all you had to say Y/N? Can I go now? It's a long bus ride home y'know" he smirks but makes no effort to move. He can't possibly be making me do this.

"Well no, obviously!" I stutter, "I mean, are you, will you, uh?" I can't bring myself to say it out loud. He leans in on the sofa looking directly at me, refusing to break eye contact.

"Did you have something you wanted to ask me Y/N?" I just want to smack that fucking look off his face,

"Fuck you Spencer Reid" I almost whisper under my breath, but Garcia snaps me back to reality.

"Hey!" she looks at me, stern again, "Ask him." it's not a question, or a suggestion, it's a command.

"Fine okay" I scrunch my eyes up again, "Will you come to my sisters wedding with me as my fake boyfriend?" I curl up into myself as I say it, I can almost feel the bile rising up from my stomach. Like I'm having a biological reaction to the whole thing.

Reid crosses his arms and sinks back on the sofa, like he's performing the act of thinking. He's considering my offer to make me squirm.

When he finally speaks he says "Well I would Y/N, but I really fail to see what's in it for me" he's after getting cocky now.

Garcia pipes up, excited, "Oh, Oh! I know! I have an idea!" she interjects, "Spencer remember how a while ago, back after your apartment flooded you were all all worried about your antique books and prints and stuff?" he nods, "Well Y/N could digitize the collection for you as a back up? I know you're a technophobe? C'mon Y/N, you know you could do that no sweat, and it would take you a lifetime alone Spencer?" I really don't want to admit it but she's right. Even I knew Reid was adverse to any technology that wasn't vital, but it was your specialty. And maybe that was a good trade off, a job like that would be near impossible for him to pull off without help. I take a glance over at Reid and he seems to have had the same train of thought as me. He lets out an exaggerated sigh and relaxes his posture.

"Fine, I guess that's a fair trade. I'm in." he resigns and I almost can't believe it. I'm barely processing the whole conversation as he sticks his hand out to me, I'm confused for a second before I grab it and shake it firmly. Condemning myself to whatever's about to happen. And it's not the time to be thinking about it but maybe this is the first time Spencer and I have ever touched? But I shove that thought away.

Garcia's positively beaming and she's not even trying to hide it. "Now it's like you're both in a Sandra Bullock movie, oh, but you're Hugh Grant maybe?" she points to Reid.

"Don't push it" I shoot in her direction, taking a slice of pizza, now that my anxiety stomach has sort of passed.

Once the pizza's been eaten in near completely awkward silence Spencer stands up off the sofa. His unsure demeanor has returned and he looks nervous. "I actually should get going this time" he says but Garcia pipes up to protest,

"No, it's not even late!"

"It takes me a while to get back home, thank you though Pen. For... this?" he gestures to the whole living room, "Night" he waves. He's almost made it to the door before I stand up out of my seat. I'm not really sure what comes over me, maybe it's gratitude, maybe it's guilt, or maybe I'm just exhausted.

"Wait Spencer. Let me give you a ride home?" I ask and it's like it's not even me saying it .

"Thanks, but I think I can make it home just fine" he dismisses, and there’s an antagonizing tone in his voice that snaps me right back to our usual rapport.

"I'm trying to do a nice thing here, fuck! Just let me do something nice!" I snap, and he throws his arms up in surrender.

"Fine alright, if it'll make you feel better"

"Fuck you Reid" I mutter under my breath and I sort of hope that he does hear me really. If he's gonna be hostile about this I can be too. I give Garcia a hug goodbye but I'm going to scold her for this whole thing later.

----

I lead the way outside and climb into my car, Spencer hops into the passenger seat and it feels as strange as always to be alone with him. Especially because it's not an accident, and it's not in work. Maybe this was a horrible idea. He seems like he's unwilling to break the silence, so I just get it over with.

"Where the hell do you live man? I'm gonna need directions." I say, as deadpan as I can muster, which probably isn't all that intimidating.

"Sorry, yeah, so you're gonna want to turn on the ignition" he teases. I definitely wasn't intimidating enough.

"Don't push it" I say, turning to give him a cruel stare, he just reacts with a smirk, that same one from the elevator earlier.

"Oh, I'm pushing it?" he asks, feigning disbelief

"I'll kick you out of this damn car" is all I can think to say. He barely responds, he just lets out a soft chuckle. I want to ask 'what's so funny' but he speaks before I can get the words out.

"I can't believe you talk to your Mom about me" he continues to laugh. That's enough.

"You know what Reid, of course I have! I work with actual murderers on a daily basis and somehow you've been the only real source of friction in my life since I joined the BAU!" He stops giggling a little, but not entirely, he looks like he's making an effort to contain himself.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just never knew I got to you like that" he still finds the whole thing amusing, but I sure as hell don't.

"Directions, now" I demand, looking straight out the front windshield.

"Fine, keep going straight on this road for a while and I'll tell you when to turn" he says, finally playing nice.

The two of us drive silently for most of the journey, the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually we arrive outside his building, and it's nicer than I thought it would be. But I have no idea what I was really basing that on. For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that Dr. Reid lived in an actual home, I had pictured him sleeping upside down in a cave maybe, or in a cryogenic chamber with all the other life-like genius robots.

"So," he says, breaking the silence, "When is this wedding?"

"4 months from now, in and around" I respond, matter of factly. Spencer nods, taking it in.

"Alright, so I've got 4 months, in and around, to learn enough to convincingly pass as your loving boyfriend. Doesn't sound so difficult." he jokes, his tone harsh and sarcastic.

"Look Spencer, I know this is insane and honestly kind of stupid. But in all seriousness, you can back out right now if you're not on board with whatever this is. I'm telling you this is the last exit ramp." I try to say it with sincerity, giving him a genuine out if he's not comfortable with the weird set-up that Penelope pulled on us both. He thinks on it for a moment and shakes his head.

"So how are we gonna do this?" he asks, and I really thought he was going to back out. So I don't have an actual answer.

"Well, I uh, I haven't really given a plan much thought. How about I come over and start working on some of the stuff you want digitized like Garcia mentioned and I can use the time to give you the footnotes on my life?" I suggest, at least that would make it easier to knock things out all at once. Rather than having to spend even more of my free time with Reid than necessary. He looks content with the improvised plan.

"Alright, sounds good." he undoes his seatbelt and opens the door to hop out of the car before turning back to me, "Are you coming inside or what?"

— —

Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

[battendownthewhatsit]

some theories for why Flint doesn’t just throw Silver overboard when Silver first tells him that he’s been completely betrayed about the gold by a Conveniently Dead Crewman, Definitely Not Silver, It Was This Dead Guy: 

-Flint genuinely buys it. I think this is actually plausible. On the one hand , this is possibly Silver’s most inept lie in the series; on the other , Flint, while good at politics, shows a repeat tendency to be really bad at Sense Motive, particularly with anyone he likes or trusts even a little--and at this point he does like and trust Silver to some degree. Plus, Silver has just demonstrated loyalty to the Walrus crew in a pretty damn dramatic  fashion. And why, that Flint knows of, would Silver want to sell out to anyone else? He knew his share was locked in just sticking with the crew that, again, he has just shown himself to be willing to go through some serious hell for.  From the outlook in Flint’s head,  Conveniently Dead Crewman’s betrayal might well seem more plausible.  Arguments for:  this scans with both Flint’s obvious reaction of hurt and betrayal-- it WAS supposedly a crewman , after all-- and with him continuing to treat Silver with the weird mix of  Whatever The Fuck they’ve had going on since S2 plus,if anything, more respect and even kindness (Silver might hear Flint’s “ if you’re not strong enough to do what needs to be done, I’ll do it”  as a threat, but it’s obvious that it’s an offer, in Flint’s fucked-up way). Arguments against:  it’s such a bad lie it is such a bad lie holy shit - Flint sees right through it-- but he’s aware enough of political currents to know that he can’t act against Silver right now without losing the whole crew. By that reading, he also can’t even directly admit to Silver that he sees through it-- that might make Silver realize, if he somehow hasn’t, just how much power he’s come into on the ship, and given that Silver just admitted being the Snakiest of Snakes, Flint definitely doesn’t want him realizing that.  So angry as Flint is, he’s just got to work with the snake until the political situation on board shifts (he can’t know it never will;  even Silver doesn’t realize yet just how much of a hold Silver’s got on the crew).  Arguments for: it is such a bad lie,  IT IS SUCH A BAD LIE , also this  reading works with Flint’s obvious anger and the whole “ in my head, you are not welcome” moment (though that can be read a lot of ways but it DOES work with this!) 

-Flint sees right through it , and the sheer Audacity of this bullshit seduces him instantly, combining with his new and previous traumas to make him unable to react directly to Silver in any coherent way at all  Arguments for:  honestly Everything About Them, their entire S1-S2 courtship consisted of them showing each other just how devious and bastardly they could be, this is CLEARLY something Flint is Into even if he doesn’t consciously realize it, and he does in fact not react directly to Silver in any coherent way again until they hit the Shark Date

Arguments against:  none, this theory is foolprooof 

[nugnthopkns]

dance me to the end of love (iii)

word count: 4.3k

warnings: fem!oc, cursing, potential percy jackson & the olympians spoilers, alcohol consumption, motion sickness and vomiting

series masterpost: here

a/n: this took me a hot sec to finish but here it is! there's a dumb little latin joke in here but that's just because i'm a nerd lmao

Ryan is certainly giving Bette a run for her money in the best friend department.

Magdalene has no intentions of usurping her best friend, but Ryan is quickly becoming the person she talks to most frequently. It started on social media but quickly moved to regular texting, both of them being twenty-five and capable of communicating through more normal channels. The text thread between them isn’t indicative of their newfound friendship – it looks like they’ve been friends since high school. At any given moment at least three conversations are going on, and Magdalene regularly sends him random updates throughout the day. Ryan likes hearing about any interesting artefacts she encounters at work so she keeps mental notes to tell him during their frequent phone calls.

Despite talking to him almost constantly, Magdalene hasn’t seen Ryan since they grabbed lunch at Barn Owl nearly two weeks ago. The lake house trip is a couple days out, and she’s been busy trying to get all her ducks in a row. At work, the current project is coming to an end and Magdalene will be sad to see it go – it’s the first thing she’s been on from start to finish. She’s got a neighbour coming to spend time with Caligula while she’s away so he doesn’t get too upset. Though the days are passing by in a haze as she tries to get ready, Magdalene is excited to get away for a little bit. It’s been a few years since she’s left Denver for more than a night, electing to skip on Bette’s previous vacation invites, and it will be nice to slow down. Life is moving at a comfortable pace, but having some time to pause and breathe will keep Magdalene from feeling too overwhelmed.

Halfway through her last day of work, Magdalene gets a text from Ryan that makes her nearly double over in laughter.

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Martinus please!” The bartender replies “Don’t you mean a Martini?” Caesar shakes his head and says “If I wanted double I would have said so.”

It takes her a minute to catch her breath, which piques June’s curiosity. Magdalene recites the joke and her boss rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but does let out a chuckle.

June didn’t think it was funny, but I did. Thank you for making today infinitely better. You riding with us tomorrow?

Magdalene tucks her phone back into her purse, determined to remain focused for the last few hours, and misses the reply telling her that Ryan won’t be riding with Bette, Tyson, and herself, but rather with Cale and his girlfriend to leave enough space for all the gear getting brought. She doesn’t see it until she’s walking across the parking lot to her car and it fills her with a sadness that doesn’t make much sense. He’ll be there for the entire week, so does it matter that he’ll be in a different car for the four hour drive? Magdalene has a sinking suspicion about why she’s upset, but she pushes it down. There’s no space in your life for a relationship right now, she reminds herself as she unlocks the door to her apartment. Caligula is waiting patiently at the door and distracts her thoughts from the handsome man with the kind smile that’s been all she can think about recently.

The cat is incredibly perceptive and knows the regular routine is going to change, making him particularly clingy. He follows Magdalene as she finishes packing, meowing and begging for pets, and she considers bailing on her friends. Caligula has mild separation anxiety and Magdalene doesn’t go away often partly because of it – though another reason is her homebody nature. Only the thought of seeing Ryan keeps her from hanging all her clothes back up.

“Don’t worry little boots,” she coos, “I won’t be gone long. Maria is going to check on you while I’m away, and I’ll be home before you know it.”

It seems ridiculous to speak to her pet as though it’s a child, but Magdalene knows Caligula comprehends what she’s saying. He’s always been smart, and the two of them share a bond that’s hard to explain. She picks him up, puts him in the pocket of her hoodie, and they spend the rest of the night packing and dancing along to the radio.

☼☼☼☼

Bette forgot to mention that the road to the lake house is winding, and Magdalene spends the entire ride with her head between her knees. Motion sickness is something that unfortunately plagues her during journeys longer than a couple of hours and she wishes she would have thought to take anti-nausea medication before leaving the house. Tyson tries to crack a joke about her being a bad passenger, but his girlfriend swats his arm and passes her friend a water bottle with a concerned smile. The two of them speak in hushed tones, almost certainly for Magdalene's benefit, and she does her best not to throw up on the floor of Tyson’s car. After what feels like two decades the vehicle rolls to a stop at the end of a gravel path.

“Mags, we’re here,” Bette says softly, praying that her friend will begin to feel better after stretching her legs and feeling firm ground underneath her.

There’s an unintelligible groan from Magdalene, but she rises out of the car and stumbles into the house. Tyson and Bette insist that she rest and they’ll handle the unloading of the car, so she crawls into one of the empty beds and falls asleep as soon as her head touches the pillow. It’s a dreamless slumber, one fuelled by the pure exhaustion of battling illness while travelling, and when she awakes hours later Magdalene feels oddly refreshed. Her energy level is still relatively low, but she knows that intaking food won’t be an issue.

Padding down the stairs as quiet as possible in an effort to not break the peaceful atmosphere, Magdalene is met with a quiet house. She’s utterly confused – she didn’t sleep long enough to miss dinner and judging by the way the sun is low in the final car full of people should be arriving any minute. For a moment she thinks the group left her in the mountains alone, but then the sound of a trunk closing breaks the silence.

“I fucking told you bro, you should have let me drive!”

Ryan’s voice echoes in Magdalene's ears and her heart skips a beat. She didn’t realize how much she had missed him or how excited she is to see him. Despite everything inside of her saying she should run into his arms Magdalene stays put in the kitchen, running the tap to get a glass of water. She focuses on the mountain on the other end of the lake, framing the setting sun and creating a postcard ready photo. The camera app on her phone is open and angles for the best shot are found. Ryan tumbles through the door a second later, arms filled to the brim with luggage and bags of food.

He drops them the second he sees her, running up behind her and lifting her off the ground. “Mags! Cale almost hit a deer!”

The shock of Ryan’s onslaught of affection catches her off guard, and Magdalene shakes her hand, forcing the picture to turn out as nothing but a blur.

“No hello?” She laughs as Ryan lets her feet touch down on the wooden floor. “It’s the least you could give me after destroying my chance of getting a National Geographic worthy picture.”

He smiles but doesn’t let his hands drop from their perch on her waist. “There’s six more days for you to nail it. I’ll even help if you ask.”

Other bodies enter the house then, causing Magdalene to slink away from Ryan’s touch even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. They’re simply friends, and she doesn’t want Bette to get any ideas. The last thing Magdalene needs on her plate right now is her best friend forcing her to paint a custom denim jacket with Ryan’s number across the back. “I can’t believe you almost hit a deer,” Tyson sighs in disbelief.

“It wasn’t even close,” Cale grumbles, picking up his bags and stomping off to find a place to claim as his own the next couple of days. A petite redhead follows after him, giving a small wave to those in the kitchen before scurrying away. When she asks, Ryan tells Magdalene the girl’s name is Livy, and that she’s Cale’s girlfriend from back home.

Everyone shrugs at his moodiness and disperses. Bette and Tyson stay in the kitchen to make dinner, Ryan goes to claim the final room, and Magdalene slips outside to sit on the patio furniture. The sun has dropped drastically in the past five minutes, causing the air to chill. She wraps her arms tighter around her legs and watches a pair of birds fly over the lake below. It’s so peaceful, a complete one-eighty from the insanity of her life in Denver, and Magdalene thinks about never leaving. She knows it’s impossible, but as she closes her eyes and listens to the quiet laughter of her friends inside the idea seems like a pretty good one.

The sliding door creaks open and Ryan goes through as quietly as possible. He tosses a sweater in Magdalene’s direction as he walks over, plopping down beside her on the small couch.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, slipping the fabric over her head. “I didn’t realize how cold it had actually gotten.”

He smiles in response and shuffles his body a little closer to create extra warmth. Magdalene leans into him, trying to appear casual even though her heart is beating rapidly, and pulls on the strings of the sweater Ryan gave her.

“So, are you excited for this week?”

It’s more awkward than she thought it would be – seeing him in person again, especially since they’ve been texting almost constantly, and the words kind of stick in her throat.

“Honestly? Now that I’m here I am, but I was a little leery about taking time off,” Ryan explains, detailing how he’s trying to improve some aspects of his two-way play and is worried his progress will plateau. Magdalene understands and shares her own worries about taking time off work even if her boss encouraged it.

After catching up quickly and running out of things to say, the pair of them sit in silence watching the sun set until they’re called inside for dinner. It’s nice to just exist, especially with Ryan beside her, and Magdalene feels her heart sink as they separate and he goes to make sure Cale isn’t actually mad at him.

☼☼☼☼

It storms the first two days at the lake house, forcing everyone to stay inside. Tyson complains about how he has less time to drive the boat that came with the property but the others take it in stride. Magdalene spends most of the time reading for pleasure, something she hasn’t been able to do much of the past few years, and Ryan joins her for large chunks of the time. It turns out that he too is an avid reader, and the two of them discuss their favourite novels and series while the other four play board games.

“So you’re telling me you wish Annabeth would have joined the Hunters of Artemis?” Magdalene shrieks in shock, almost knocking the wine out of her glass as her arms flail in disbelief.

“I think it made sense for her to,” Ryan defends.

“But she’s perfect for Percy!”

He sticks to his guns. “I’m not saying she isn’t. I just think that at the time the offer was presented it was the most logical choice. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about what would have happened if she did.”

She ducks her head in defeat because she had imagined it, on many occasions in fact. When reading the series for the first time in middle school Magdalene had desperately hoped Annabeth would choose the Hunters over Camp Half-Blood, gaining the family she herself never was privy to. They return to reading quietly beside each other, occasionally knocking elbows when trying to turn a page.

Tuesday brings sunshine and clear skies, which means Tyson is trying to corral everyone into the boat as soon as they’re up. Magdalene tries her hardest to get out of it but her pleas fall on deaf ears.

“You’ll be fine, stop being such a wimp,” Cale jests. She knows that he’s just anxious to soak up some sun, but the words hurt more than Magdalene would have liked them to.

Livy swats her boyfriend across the chest. “Enough! If she doesn’t want to come she doesn’t have to.” The smaller girl sends her a kind smile before speaking low enough that only Magdalene can hear her. “I know your book is just getting good and you look like the kind of person who needs alone time to function properly. Enjoy yourself.”

Seemingly excused from the day’s festivities, Magdalene gives a sheepish wave before climbing the small hill to the house. Ryan meets her halfway and is appalled when he hears of her plans.

“Nope, I don’t think so. You’re not leaving me alone to be the ultimate third wheel!”

He has her off the ground and over his shoulder in a millisecond, jogging lightly to catch up with the rest of the group. Magdalene’s laugh bounces off the tree lined shore, and she’s too busy having fun shrieking at Ryan to complain about being forced to spend all day on a boat away from her book. Tyson peels away from the dock before she can regret tagging along, and Bette tugs Magdalene to the bow.

The two girls chat quietly, giggling and sipping on the mimosas they made earlier. Magdalene isn’t a huge day drinker, but Bette makes sure there’s more orange juice than champagne to make her feel less guilty. Livy joins them a while later after becoming sick of the boys and their shenanigans. It’s nice to hang out with a group of girls that aren’t competing for the top spot in a class, Magdalene decides, and she revels in the stories they tell of going to hockey games and babysitting the children of players so they can catch a break. Twinges of jealousy creep up at the wonderful family dynamic the Avalanche seem to have, but she stomachs them. She reminds herself that other people deserve to have support systems and excuses herself from the conversation.

Magdalene slides into the free space beside Ryan, and without thinking he wraps an arm around her shoulder. It feels so natural that she wonders if it’s how he greets all his friends, but the looks of shock and Tyson and Cale’s faces say otherwise. After a bit more cruising they find a small bay to anchor in for a while. The sun had climbed to the middle of the sky and is unbearably warm, leaving everyone no choice but to jump into the water to cool off. Magdalene does her best to float peacefully a short distance away from the group but is somehow brought into a splashing war because the teams aren’t equal.

Eventually the constant barrage of water chills her to the bone, and Magdalene swims back to the boat. She watches from the sidelines and cheers for her old teammates with a towel wrapped snugly around her. Ryan breaks from the group too, insisting it isn’t fair to have teams on unequal strength. Once dry, he picks up the baseball cap he brought and places it delicately on Magdalene’s head.

“Your cheeks are starting to go pink and I don’t want you to burn,” he explains, passing her a bottle of sunscreen as well.

“Thanks Ry.”

They muse about the idyllic beauty of the scene in front of them until everyone rejoins them. For reasons unbeknownst to Magdalene Tyson is in a rush to get back to the house, which leads to him driving very fast and a little erratically. The contents of her stomach threaten to come up but she holds them down, tightening her grip on the leather seat. A wave crests and Tyson hits it head on, causing the boat to lurch and rock. Magdalene knows it’s going to happen before it does and leans over the side to save a mess from being created. All the alcohol and food she’d consumed throughout the day is no longer in her body, and heat creeps up the back of her neck. She’s embarrassed – what twenty-five year old gets sea sick?

“Are you okay?” Ryan asked, not bothering to hide the concern in his voice.

She tries to smile but it comes out more like a grimace. “I just, uh, get motion sick really easily.” Bette passes her a water bottle and she drinks it quickly, eager to get the taste out of her mouth.

Ryan lets Magdalene curl into his side the rest of the way home, and rubs comforting circles on her back to ease her discomfort, doing his best to ignore the stares from his friends.

☼☼☼☼

The trip comes to an end much more quickly than Magdalene would have liked. Tomorrow morning they’ll pack up and drive back to Denver, returning to their normal hectic schedules. Cale and Livy are heading back to Alberta for the rest of the summer, and Bette and Tyson will be going for a visit as well. She’s heard Ryan mention going home in passing, which most likely means he doesn’t have plans to stay. Magdalene will be all alone in Colorado, but she’s used to it. The only issue being friends with professional athletes is that they leave. She’s been dealing with the loss since Bette and Tyson got together years ago – having them around as her support system most of the year and then them disappearing for a couple of months.

Not wanting to think about how soon she’ll be alone, Magdalene heads outside and starts a campfire. It’s a skill she picked up as a kid and it has come in handy over the years. The newspaper crinkles under the flame from the lighter, and soon the kindling is burning well. Everyone else is still inside, cleaning up from dinner and preparing for one last night in paradise. She places a few blocks of wood in the fire pit once there’s a good enough flame and curls up in a chair, lost in thought about what comes next. There’s rustling from somewhere behind her but she pays it no mind, assuming it’s a small animal wandering through the forest.

“Can I offer you some company?” a voice says softly, waiting for a response. The movement wasn’t a raccoon but in fact Ryan, and Magdalene gestures at the chair beside her with a smile.

He passes her a glass of white wine, which she takes with an appreciative hum. They sit in silence for a moment, admiring the beauty of the setting sun. “I’m going to miss it,” Ryan sighs, leaning back in his chair and extending his legs.

She nods. “Me too. It’s so quiet up here. Denver gets too loud sometimes.”

“Tell me about it. I’m not just going to miss the lake though, it’s also lounging around and not having to worry about hockey. And you.”

The ending comes out rushed, and Magdalene isn’t sure she heard him correctly. “Me?”

Ryan looks at her like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Yes you. Why wouldn’t I? You’re funny, smart, and catch all of my West Wing references. There’s no one who gets me quite like you, even back home.”

It takes her by surprise. They’ve only known each other for a few months, and only really started associating after the party at Bette and Tyson’s. There has to be somebody who knows him better than she does. When she voices her opinion Ryan just scoffs, saying that people treat him as one-dimensional because he plays hockey. Somehow the conversation shifts to Magdalene, and when she lets it slip she gets lonely in Denver without her friends, Ryan asks the question she’s been dreading.

“So why don’t you get a boyfriend?”

“I can’t just get a boyfriend because my friends are gone,” she laughs, but there’s an edge to it, like she’s unsure of where this will go and how to question the follow ups.

He rolls his eyes. “I know that, but like, I don’t know, wouldn’t it be nice to not be alone all the time?”

It would be, Magdalene thinks, but she just shrugs. “I guess I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I just finished school and for the first time in a long time I can focus on myself.” She leaves out the part where Ryan gives her butterflies and that if he asked she’d probably jump headfirst into a relationship with him.

The topic is dropped then because Tyson comes out of the house screaming about the night is going to be wild because it’s their last together for a while. Magdalene and Ryan share a look of mild panic, but both of them are itching to have fun with friends so they raise their glasses in salute before finishing them in one gulp.

Magdalene drinks more than she should and wakes in the morning with a killer hangover. It seems that no one else is better off though, all stumbling around looking for Advil and coffee like it’s going to be their last meal. Packing up takes a bit longer than expected, but they’re still out before the official checkout time. There’s a bit of discourse on who Magdalene will travel home with. Bette wants her in Tyson’s car, no doubt to talk about how close her and Ryan seem to be, but Cale offers to bring her with them. His reasoning is that Ryan is driving him and Livy directly to the airport, and having the front seat could be good for her motion sickness. It’s ultimately Magdalene’s choice and the idea of having more time with Ryan before he leaves is too enticing to pass up. She bids her other friends goodbye, promising to come over for dinner before they fly out, and climbs into the cab of Cale’s truck.

Once again she’s a less than ideal passenger, but this time it’s because she sleeps the entire way back to Denver. The drinking took it out of her and coupled with the queasiness in her stomach from the winding roads sleep is the only thing that makes sense. So much for extra time with Ryan she thinks as she wakes up in the airport parking lot.

“Sleeping beauty has risen!” Ryan chuckles, “Why don’t you get out and stretch your legs for a sec? We have the parking spot for another fifteen minutes.”

Magdalene does as suggested because truthfully her joints are a little stiff, and finds Cale and Livy grabbing their bags from the back. She hugs them goodbye and wishes them safe travels, which Cale returns with a warning not to get into too much trouble before heading for the entrance. Once both of them are safely inside the confines of the airport, Ryan and Magdalene get back in the vehicle and finish the last leg of the trip.

She directs Ryan to her apartment complex, and he mentions that he’s never been in this area of the city. “That’s because you have no need to be around a bunch of university kids,” she laughs. Once they pull into the parking lot, he offers to help her take up her bag. It’s only a small suitcase Magdalene could definitely handle herself, but she wants him to come up, to prolong her time with him.

Magdalene’s keys jingle in the lock as the door opens. Ryan follows her in and shuts the door carefully, not wanting to disrupt the aura of peace that permeates the space. From what he can tell, the average size apartment is the perfect reflection of Magdalene – packed full of books and plants and feels very put together despite the owner being only twenty-five. After their shoes find a home on the boot rack and the coats they brought for the drive home are hung in the closet she leads Ryan into the living room. There’s a soft purring by his feet, and Ryan looks down to see an animal. He never pegged Magdalene as someone to keep pets.

“Who’s this?” he asks, bending down to pet the small white cat.

“That’s Caligula.”

A puzzled look graces Ryan’s features. “Who?”

“Caligula,” Madalene giggles. “You can call him little boots if you’d like. He’ll respond.” She picks up the animal when it comes to her and scratches gently behind its ear.

“Why would you name your cat something dumb like Caligula, and why does it respond to little boots?”

It’s then the woman realizes that not everyone understands the reference. “Caligula was the third emperor of Rome,” she explains, “But his real name was Gaius. He gained the nickname Caligula as a child and it just stuck. It translates to little boots in Latin.”

Ryan is in awe of Magdalene for what feels like the millionth time. Of course someone as smart as her would have a crazy name for a pet and have the knowledge to back it up. He feels his chest tighten with affection but he wills it away. She isn’t looking for anything right now, he reminds himself. Magdalene’s self-professed inability to reciprocate his feelings is frustrating, but Ryan knows he’d wait forever for her.

☼☼☼☼

additional notes: catch some extra content here!

taglist: @scrunchmakar @marcoscandellas @toplinetommy @ricohenrique @lovethepreds @cutiesara23 @hockeyallthetime @stlbluesbrat21 (add yourself to the taglist!)

[fandom-collective-writers]

Want (Wolf!Lucifer x Reader)

Fandom: Obey Me!

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader

Prompt: werewolf, full moon, heat scenario

Warning: Smut!!! - oral sex (female receiving), breeding, internal cumshot, biting, knotting

Intended Audience: Female Audience

Word Count: 4,322

Requested by: anonymous

Written by: @lordsister​/@lordsisterxotome (Click here to support me on ko-fi!<3)

Disclaimer: I do not own Obey Me or any of its characters. I do, however, own the plot of this fanfic. Please do not repost this on any other website.

Other notes: So I meant to get this out a long time ago and then I had a burnout from university work and couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to write a full sentence, so here we go! Never written something like this before, but hoping it’s good!

       You wouldn’t be able to outrun him for much longer, that was a fact. 

       Everything had started out so innocently, a simple mix-up on Luke’s part leading to yet another in a series of weird but amusing events at the House of Lamentation. Why the syrup turned the brothers into animals of all things, you didn’t know, but you didn’t think much of it when you found out it would pass eventually. Better to just enjoy the fact that your boyfriend had a pair of cute, fluffy wolf ears sticking out of his head, right? 

       Things had started to take a much heavier turn, however, when the moon rose, full and yellow and drawing out a hidden side effect of the syrup. 

       It was like everyone had just...disappeared. One moment you were joking around with them just like you normally did, laughing at the way Mammon kept teasing Levi over his giraffe horns, and the next moment they were all out the door and gone, claiming they had other things to do. Even Lucifer had somehow left without her notice, probably headed to his room to quietly work on his student council stuff.

       You’d tried relaxing in your room, but something about it was still off to you, having spent enough time around the brothers to know when weird was particularly weird. After wandering aimlessly around the halls for a while and receiving no answer when you knocked on the brothers’ locked doors, you’d made your way to the kitchen to ponder over a late night cup of tea. 

       What happened there was what led you to your current situation, crawling through one of the tunnels beneath the House of Lamentation.

       You had just been starting to unwind, accepting that whatever the demons you lived with were dealing with was probably something they could handle themselves, when Levi had burst in, out of breath and panicked. Rising to your feet, you had just enough time to squeak out his name before he grabbed your wrist and dragged you out of the kitchen. 

       “Levi, what - what’s happening? What’s wrong?” you managed, stumbling as he dragged you down the hall.

       “Lucifer’s gone into heat,” he answered, just as the sound of something smashing to pieces echoed from the second floor. 

       You heard the voices of the other brothers shouting, animal snarls, and growls, but you couldn’t dwell on it as Levi picked you up and hoisted you over his shoulder before launching into a full-on run. Over the uncomfortable feeling of Levi’s shoulder digging into your ribcage, you heard an outraged howl, and the first curls of fear began to form deep in your belly. 

       “I’ll rip your head off if you touch her!”

       The sounds of the struggle disappeared as Levi threw open a door and descended a long, dark flight of stairs into the bowels of the House. Honestly, everything was happening so quickly you were having a hard time keeping up with it all.

       “W-Where are we going?” The jolting made it hard to talk, and your fingers clutched at his sweater, desperate for a hold on the rapidly spiraling situation.

       “There’s a tunnel, it leads to the woods,” he answered shortly, nearly missing a step and sending you both tumbling the rest of the way down in the dark. “You need to be through before Lucifer fights the others off.”

       The end of the staircase emerged into a circular chamber, a black hole, barely large enough for one person to walk through standing, gaping at the other side of the room. You didn’t want to go through it, especially in the dark, but it seemed Levi wasn’t giving you an option. 

       He’d barely placed you on your feet before he was shoving you into that cold, black mouth, giving you a last, “Go!” before he was turning back towards the stairs. 

       Reaching out, you clutched at the back of his sweater before he could go any farther. “I-I don’t...I still don’t understand, Levi. He’s in heat?”

       The third born frowned, running a hand through his frazzled purple hair. You hadn’t noticed before, but he was bleeding from his lip and a dark bruise was forming beneath his left eye. “It’s an effect of being turned into a wolf is my guess. A werewolf heat kinda thing?”

       “So...what does that mean for me exactly?” You were getting frustrated now, confused and in need of answers before you fled through a tunnel in a basement in the middle of the night. “Why do I have to escape like this?”

       Levi’s cheeks flushed bright red and he looked away, stuttering, “I-It means he wants to...y’know...do what animals do in heat...to you.”

       “Oh.”

       “Oh?”

       That explained a part of it maybe, but you’d been through worse with Lucifer, would probably be through worse still with him. “I still don’t understand why I have to leave like this. Isn’t there any way I could help him?”

       “He isn’t listening to anyone right now.” Through the dark, you could see Levi was starting to fidget, balling and unballing his fists and taking nervous glances back at the stairs. “I don’t even think Diavolo could talk any sense into him right now. He’s completely lost control and if he were to get his hands on you like this...it’s better you go.” A hard thud sounded from somewhere far above. “Now.”

       Shoving you into the tunnel entrance once more, he rushed to say, “Listen, once you’re out, go to Purgatory Hall or Diavolo. Either one should be able to keep you safe while the rest of the syrup wears off.”

       “But-”

       “Go!”

       And with that he was gone, flying back up the stairs to help his brothers with their heat-crazed sibling. You stayed there for a moment, hovering in the entrance and looking back and forth, but finally you decided to follow Levi’s instructions. If the brothers were fighting so hard to keep Lucifer from getting to you, then he truly must be in bad shape, mindless with the need to mate, and you knew that if you were ever to get hurt again, it would destroy him.

       Moving as quickly as you could in the dark, you kept one hand on the damp stone of the tunnel wall, using it for stability and to make sure the passage didn’t split away into side tunnels or something. It felt like forever passed since you began walking, and panic started to rise in your throat, your heart thumping in your chest at the thought that you were lost down here in the dark. The walls started to press in, and you could barely breathe the moist air. All that kept you from turning back or sinking into a ball was the mantra you took to repeating under your breath, to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, don’t think about what was behind or ahead, but just about what was beneath your feet right now - which were still bare, by the way. You were only dressed in a sweatshirt and comfy sweatpants, ready for an evening of relaxing in bed rather than running down a dark tunnel away from your lust-crazed lover.

       An uncomfortable heat prickled at the corners of your eyes as you continued down the tunnel, your hope of finding the exit dwindling with each heavy step. You should have reached it by now, right? Levi wouldn’t have sent you down here where you could get lost so easily.

       Just as you were about to stop, you saw it - a shaft of light marking your freedom far ahead. Your relief was cut short, however, as a ghostly howl echoed from the tunnel behind you and your heart froze in your chest. You could barely breathe as you took off, sprinting towards that point of light. 

       Had Lucifer really made it past all of his brothers? It seemed impossible, but you didn’t know what overpowered state he was in right now. All that mattered was that he was following you, and you didn’t think it would take him long to catch up.

       Another howl echoed behind you, closer, and you ran faster, legs burning. Slipping on the wet stone, you tumbled into the fresh air. You didn’t have time to enjoy being out of the dark and damp, barely managing to get your feet under you again before you were off again, this time headed in what you hoped was the direction of Purgatory Hall. 

       Your feet skidded on the frozen ground and dead leaves, bare tree branches arching over your head like fingers, caging you in. You wondered how long it would take to get to Purgatory Hall, if you could make it before Lucifer caught up, but a pained howl of your name behind you, clear in the night air, nearly made your legs give out beneath you. If it had only taken him that little time to get through the tunnel, there was no way you were going to make it to Purgatory Hall before he caught up. The best hope you had was probably finding a place to hide and hoping he didn’t find you. 

       Chancing a look back, you caught sight of him through the trees in the distance, thundering after you, his red eyes visibly glowing even from this far away. A squeak left your mouth on a gasp, and you darted to the side, hiding behind the trunk of the largest tree you could find.

       You weren’t going to make it to Purgatory Hall, not at the speed he was chasing you, you couldn’t call on the other brothers, knowing he’d already gotten through them, and so your best option was to try to hide and wait this out, even though you knew he could probably smell you, probably hear your heart beating. Covering your mouth with both hands, you curled into a ball at the base of the tree, trying to calm your breathing as you listened for the sound of his footsteps. 

       Heart pounding against your ribcage, you heard him approach, racing closer and closer, inhumanly fast, and you hoped he would just run by, too lost in a lustful haze to realize your scent veered away from the course he was following. Unfortunately, such was not to be the case because he stopped abruptly, sending up a small shower of dirt and dead leaves. You could hear him panting and your heart ached as he whimpered and walked in a slow circle, trying to determine which way you had gone. Never had you heard anything so mournful in your entire life, most unexpectedly from the Avatar of Pride. 

       “(Y/n)!!” he whined gently, softly, but his voice still echoed off the trees, half-coaxing, half-ordering you to come out. You didn’t move, despite the strange heat pooling in the pit of your belly and your instincts screaming at you to go to him, to comfort your needing lover. Levi and the others had done so much to protect you, to warn you. Was it really okay to give in so quickly?

       “(Y/n)!!!” Lucifer howled your name this time, his voice desperate and you bit your palm, trying to keep quiet as you jumped at the noise. Curling up tighter, you still refused to reveal yourself. 

       Then everything suddenly got quiet, really quiet. You couldn’t hear him panting, didn’t even hear him walk away, but there was no indication that he was still there either. Minutes passed and you stayed like that until you started to shiver and you couldn’t take it any longer. Slowly, you peered out from behind the tree, careful to be as quiet as possible. There was no sign of him, not a bit of movement as you scanned the clearing and the trees beyond. Nothing.

       Sitting back against the tree trunk, you sighed, but movement out of the corner of your eye nearly made your heart stop. Your eyes met glowing red, your lycanthrope lover unnervingly still where he stood not three feet away from you on the other side of the tree. You stayed like that, staring at each other, until the need to breathe became too prominent and you took a shaky inhale. 

       “Luci,” you breathed his name, trying to keep him calm and gentle. His eyes glowed, but his usual composure and poise was gone, lost in the hazy depths of his heat. You didn’t even know if he was aware of what was going on right now.

       A slow, joyful smile spread across his lips at the sound of his name on your lips and then he dove forward, tackling you as he wrapped himself around you. “Mate,” he purred into the side of your neck, kissing tenderly at the skin as he breathed in your scent, “I found you.”

       Your arms hesitated around him, unsure, before returning his embrace. This was different than what you had expected. Based on what Levi had told you, you’d thought he would have had you naked by now. “L-Lucifer?” you stuttered, trying and failing not to lean into the protective warmth his overheated body offered. “Do you know what’s happening right now?”

       Removing his face from your neck, he blinked slowly at you. 

       “Do you know what’s happened to you?” you tried again.

       “There was Luke…” he breathed, returning his face to your neck and closing his eyes. His tail thumped wildly behind him, betraying his excitement and pleasure at having completed his game of chase. “And the syrup that turned us into animals…”

       You nodded eagerly. “Do you remember what happened next?”

       “Mmm, I suddenly felt so hot,” he groaned, his grip on you tightening. “It’s so so hot, (y/n). It’s unbearable and yet it feels so good.”

       “But Luci, I - ah!” You squealed as he nipped at the sensitive skin just below your ear.

       “I need you so bad,” he husked against the shell and you shivered as a hot tongue licked over it. “It hurts…!” The world spun as he rolled you over, finding yourself pinned on your back and the solid weight of your boyfriend pressing you down into the leaves and grass as he wedged himself between your legs. You could feel every inch of him now, holding you so close, like he was trying to meld your bodies into one. A hard rock of his hips against your clothed core made you cry out, a sudden rush of heat flaring within you and making you arch into him. He growled into your neck at the pressure against his erection as you bucked beneath him, mouthing at the skin and teasing it with his fangs.

       “L-Lucifer, wait!” He groaned, displeased, but stopped, his wolf ears flipping back to lay flat against his head. “I...I don’t know about this. Levi-” He snarled at the other man’s name on your lips, making you freeze until he rubbed his cheek against your neck, appeased. “The others,” you tried again, careful not to mention any names that might set him off, “warned me that you might lose control in this state...that you might hurt me.”

       He jerked back, wide red eyes staring at you like you’d just slapped him across the face. “Hurt my mate…” his voice dwindled, his ears drooping and his tail ceasing it’s insistent wag. You almost felt bad for saying it now, but you needed to draw a line, for both of your sakes.

       His hand reached up and cradled her face with surprising tenderness, careful of his elongated, red claws. “I will never hurt you,” he said, his eyes clear of their lustful haze for a moment as he spoke. He uttered the words like a spell, a prayer if he was still an angel, an oath that made the tightness in your chest finally loosen. “Please,” he murmured, his low voice reverberating through your bones, “Let me have you. True, it might wear off soon, but I want...I want…!” 

       Tongue darting out to lick your lips, you reached up to run your fingers through the dark waves of his hair, feeling the soft velvet of his ears. A low rumble started deep in his chest, his eyes narrowing and hazing until he had fallen back into the lustful state he’d been in moments ago. You were more aware of the bulge pressed between your legs now, of the dampening in your own panties.

       Leaning up, you felt his grip around you tighten as you whispered in his ear, “I’m all yours, Lucifer.” A roll of your hips up into his drew a long, desperate growl out of him. “Do with me as you will.”

       There was a split second of utter stillness, not a move or sound, and then cool air met your skin as your clothes were torn away by sharp claws. You gasped, clinging to your boyfriend as he nipped and sucked ravenously at the side of your neck. He barely left you time to process, his lips moved so fast, the sting of a lovebite arriving long after his mouth had already traveled to the other side of your neck. 

       “My pretty, little mate,” he growled, licking at your collarbones, “all ready for me to fuck.” You shivered, mewling his name as his hands grasped your breasts, your bra already sliced away for his ease. “So perfect,” he sighed, drawing whines from you with each rough squeeze. A cry echoed against the trees as a hot mouth encased your nipple, sucking and rolling the hardened bud between sharp teeth. Your hands tried to find a hold in his hair, but were forced above your head with a hand around your wrists, leaving you to writhe and buck helplessly beneath his touch. 

       His moans warmed your skin as he let go of your breast with a noisy pop. “You taste so good,” he purred, a lust drunk smile curling at the corners of his lips. “I can’t get enough.” Trailing down your body, he paused at your stomach, making you shiver as he kissed affectionately at the soft flesh. The slow, meaningful caress of his hand against the spot just below your navel felt at odds with his hurried ministrations thus far, but was pleasant all the same, drawing a sigh from your lips as you relaxed into him. 

       Lucifer hummed approvingly, murmuring something you couldn’t hear against the flesh, but didn’t linger, continuing on to his real target before you could ask him what he’d said. 

       The cool air made you shiver as he spread your legs, hulking figure kneeling between them. His tail thumped against the ground behind him and his ears pricked in interest as he stared down at your wet core, a growl making you freeze when you tried to close your legs from his burning gaze. “Try and hide from me,” he rumbled, red eyes pinning you in place, “See what happens.”

       He held your gaze as he lowered his face to your dripping pussy, making you forget how to breathe for a second as hot breath fanned against your clit. You moaned when his tongue licked a stripe up your slit, sucking the swollen bundle of nerves into his mouth. 

       “So wet already,” he groaned, tone laced with sin, and then, without warning, he seemed to lose whatever control he’d regained, his mouth descending on your core with an urgency and force that would have made you flinch away but for his hands on your hips, holding you immobilized and spread for his enjoyment. Lips, teeth, and tongue were merciless as he feasted on your arousal, sending hot pleasure coursing through you as you writhed and moaned in his grip. Your head spun as his tongue dove inside of you, your fingers clawing at his shoulders as you cried his name. 

       You sobbed, tears of pleasure blurring your vision as the fingers of one strong hand pawed over your thigh and hip bone, the tips of sharp claws grazing your clit and making your back arch as your walls fluttered around his plunging tongue.

       You were so close, the edge of that sweet wave of pleasure teasing your body, and the next second it was ripped away, his mouth and fingers gone, and you cried out in agonized loss, scrambling for him as desperate tears finally fell. Your hands fisted in dead leaves and cold dirt instead of reaching Lucifer’s warmth, finding yourself on your knees with your front pressed into the ground. A thigh moved between your own, parting you to your lover’s liking as he loomed behind you. 

       “Lucifer,” you called softly, whimpering. His pheromones were definitely affecting you if they weren’t already. You felt so painfully empty without his cock stretching you, thick and hot and merciless. The thought alone was enough to make your walls clench pathetically around nothing, wiggling your ass against his still-clothed crotch.

       “I know, my love,” he chuckled, reveling in the need radiating from you. You could feel him smirking savagely against your neck. “By the time I’m done, everyone will know what I’ve done to you, how I’ve claimed you.”

       His warmth disappeared for a moment, the sound of tearing cloth indicating that his clothes had met the same fate as your own, and then bare skin met your own, too-hot against your oversensitive skin. A shiver wracked through you as his cock, swollen and pulsing, slapped against your dripping core, coating him in your juices as he slid through your folds. You didn’t have time to look back or think about whether you could take him like this, screaming as he thrust into you, hard and fast. He didn’t give you a moment to adjust before he started pounding. Lucifer was well-endowed as it was, but he felt even larger than usual, stretching you nearly to the point of it being too much. The position forced you to be aware of every inch plowing in and out of you, allowing him to hit against your cervix from the first thrust. The overwhelming, pain-tinged pleasure immediately rocketed you into your climax, leaving you spasming helplessly around him as you cried his name.

       “Fuck!” he snarled behind you, hips stuttering as your walls clenched down on him. His claws dug into the soft flesh of your hips as he grunted, shoving harder into your tight, oversensitive core. You could feel your release dripping down your inner thighs, the lewd sound of Lucifer’s soaked cock thrusting in and out of you echoing off the trees, too loud even with the sound of his panting in your ear.

       Blunt nails dug into the dirt as his mouth latched onto the patch of skin where your neck met your shoulder, drawing blood as he marked the spot. His hips moved animalistically, hammering into you without rhythm as he held you in place, his balls slapping against your clit. He answered your whimper with a deep purr as he wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you closer against him. His length barely left your velvet walls before finding home deep within the welcoming warmth of your core once more and it was driving you crazy, leaving you to writhe and moan as throbbing veins rubbed your g-spot with each hump. 

       Through the haze of lust clouding your mind, you could feel something swelling at the base of his cock, stretching your entrance every time he seated himself within you. “L-Luci,” you gasped, “What - What are you - hahh!” You screamed as he shoved in deep, the knot forming at the base of his cock stretching your entrance before leaving again, still not quite large enough to plug him inside of you. 

       “Going to breed you,” he snarled against your ear through clenched teeth, “Going to fill you with my children and get you nice and pregnant so they all know who you belong to.” Lucifer grunted in frustration, feral as his hand pressed into your lower back and made you arch even more. You screamed as the angle stretched you open for him and his monstrous cock, engorged with the need to fuck his babies into you. 

       “Tell me you want it,” he coaxed, his hands grabbing at any part of you he could use to pull you back harder onto him. “Tell me you want my cum, you want me to get you pregnant for everyone to see.”

       “Yes!” you pleaded, glancing back at him. Every inch of him rippled with virility, with the need to pump you full of his seed. You needed it now, needed to give him exactly what he wanted. “Yes, Lucifer, please! Please, please, please give it to me!”

       The sound that echoed from deep within his chest as he successfully pushed his knot inside of you was half howl, half roar, locking your bodies together as he reached his climax. The hot explosion of cum against your cervix threw you into a second orgasm, mewling and crying your lover’s name as he filled you to the brim.

       He continued to hump against you for a few moments more, milking himself within your walls, before he slumped on top of you, panting against your shoulder.  “(Y/n),” he murmured hoarsely, “Are you alright?”

       “Y-Yeah.” He shifted slightly, and you shivered at the tug of his knot within you, still swollen.

       “I’m sorry. I can’t move for a little while,” he sighed, and you could hear in his tone that there was more to his apology, a plea for forgiveness for everything that had happened tonight.

       You giggled softly, reaching a hand back to run it through his dark hair. The wolf ears were still there and they fluttered against your fingers. “I don’t regret this,” you murmured softly, meeting his wide gaze as you turned your head. A soft smile spread across your face as you kissed his cheek. “Not a single thing.”

[bloody-bee-tea]

To finish this amazing JC Love Month that has given so much joy, could I ask for a final chapter of Lan Quiren being the good dad that little Jiang Cheng is in desperate need of? Thank you so much for that series!! It is all that I ever wanted and more,but I just need a WWX and JY and reacting to YZ and JFM and Lan Quiren interacting. Thank you so much!!! 💛💛

JC Love Month 2020 Day 30

Breathing and Footsteps

Your wish is my command, Anon! Day 30 of JC Love Month brings one last confrontation between LQR and JC's parents, this time witnessed by JC's siblings, who fully support him and LQR taking care of him. This also marks the last day of JC Love Month, so thank you all for sticking with me through it all! Technically it was a free day but I'm very bad with those, so my friend gave me a few word prompts to work with. This follows after Day 23 of JC Love Month.

Jiang Cheng is reading over the material they will cover in class later, when someone suddenly sits down next to him.

Jiang Cheng frowns, a biting remark already on his tongue, but he swallows it down when he turns and sees that it’s Lan Xichen.

“Oh, hi,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and Lan Xichen’s mouth twitches in amusement but when he smiles it’s kind.

“How are you doing?” Lan Xichen asks him, sending a pointed look at his newly cast-free hand.

“I’m doing well,” Jiang Cheng gives back and he’s almost surprised to find that he means it, too. “Doctor Wen says it’s healing well and if I stick to the physical therapy I shouldn’t have any problems going forward.”

“That’s very good to hear,” Lan Xichen says. “Though I think Wen Qing insisted on you calling her by her name.”

“She might have,” Jiang Cheng says and looks down at his book.

He tried, too, but it felt wrong when she was removing his cast and so he decided to stick to Doctor Wen. She had glared at him when he did, but her glare held none of the bite Jiang Cheng was used to from his mother, so she probably wasn’t too bad.

“As long as you know you’re free to call her Wen Qing, it’s okay,” Lan Xichen reassures him and lightly pats his forearm. “Listen, there’s actually a reason I’m here,” Lan Xichen then says and Jiang Cheng can’t help it, he tenses when worry settles in his belly.

“Is anything wrong?” Jiang Cheng asks, his voice low and scared, because most times he still feels like he’s in a dream, as if one day he will wake up and Lan Qiren won’t care about him and Jiang Cheng will have to sleep back in his own huge, empty house.

“Nothing is wrong,” Lan Xichen immediately tells him. “I’m sorry it sounded like that,” he goes on and Jiang Cheng thinks he knows him well enough by now to know that Lan Xichen will consider his words much more carefully from now on.

“What’s going on then?” Jiang Cheng asks, reassured now that it won’t be something bad.

“Uncle is working late today,” Lan Xichen starts and Jiang Cheng nods.

Lan Qiren had told him about the meeting he has today, much to Jiang Cheng’s surprise, because his parents never bothered to tell him where they would be and if they would be coming home that day.

“Yeah, he said,” Jiang Cheng whispers, still almost feeling uncomfortably surprised that Lan Qiren took the time to inform him about his plans.

“Good,” Lan Xichen says, as if it’s entirely normal that Lan Qiren told him. “I thought since you’re doing well with your arm, that I could show you how to cook one of Uncle’s favourite dishes today? I think he would like coming home after that meeting to a home-cooked meal.”

Jiang Cheng has to regulate his breathing at that, because he feels this close to a breakdown in the middle of school and Lan Xichen puts his hand on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Lan Xichen lowly says, taking care that no one else can hear them, but Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“No, I would like that,” Jiang Cheng immediately says and looks at Lan Xichen. “Please, if you have the time.”

“I wouldn’t have offered otherwise,” Lan Xichen says with a smile and squeezes Jiang Cheng’s shoulder once. “I’ll come by later then, alright?” Lan Xichen asks and Jiang Cheng nods.

“Thank you,” Jiang Cheng breathes out but Lan Xichen shakes his head.

“It’s my pleasure,” Lan Xichen replies and gets up. “See you later, then, Wanyin,” he says and leaves Jiang Cheng to his reading again.

Jiang Cheng wants to go back to that, but his mind his whirring now, too touched by Lan Xichen’s kindness and thoughtfulness and Jiang Cheng is looking forward to giving Lan Qiren something in return, even if it’s only something small.

Jiang Cheng barely managed to concentrate on his book again, when he hears footsteps coming up behind him and Jiang Cheng turns his head with a sigh.

He immediately straightens up when he realizes that it’s Lan Qiren who is coming up to him.

“Is everything alright?” Lan Qiren wants to know, not looking directly at Jiang Cheng, but Jiang Cheng can still tell that he’s honestly worried that anything could be wrong.

“Yes,” Jiang Cheng very honestly says and Lan Qiren seems to believe him, because he nods once and then finally looks at Jiang Cheng.

“How’s your hand?” he wants to know, as if he isn’t asking after Jiang Cheng’s wellbeing every day but Jiang Cheng smiles at his obvious concern.

“It feels fine,” Jiang Cheng gives back and carefully rotates his wrist to show Lan Qiren that he’s not lying about it.

“That’s good,” Lan Qiren says and then his eyes wander to Jiang Cheng’s book in front of him. “I’ll let you get back to studying then,” Lan Qiren decides and simply marches off without giving Jiang Cheng another chance to say something.

Jiang Cheng smiles slightly when he watches Lan Qiren walk away, and he feels entirely too fond of Lan Qiren at that moment, realizing that this really was just him paying enough attention to Jiang Cheng to have seen Lan Xichen with him and to immediately worry.

He is not used to care like this, but he slowly realizes that it seems to be the norm with Lan Qiren. Jiang Cheng smiles into his book at that thought.

Jiang Cheng schools his face into a frown when someone sits down opposite of him and by now Jiang Cheng is absolutely convinced that he will not get any reading done.

Especially so when he sees that it’s Wei Wuxian who sat down at his table.

“What?” Jiang Cheng snaps out, because he hasn’t seen Wei Wuxian all that much since he moved out of his old house two weeks ago, and he only ever hears from Lan Wangji that Wei Wuxian is alright.

“How are you?” Wei Wuxian asks with a look at his wrist and Jiang Cheng shrugs.

“The cast came off,” he says and Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes at him.

“I can see that. But how are you?”

“I’m okay,” Jiang Cheng says, much more softer at that, because he can tell that Wei Wuxian is really worried.

“Are you in trouble?” Wei Wuxian asks with a frown, and when Jiang Cheng looks at him in confusion, he nods to where Lan Qiren just vanished.

“Why would you think that?” Jiang Cheng wants to know and he nods at Lan Wangji when he joins Wei Wuxian.

“You’ve been spending a lot of time at the headmaster’s office. Are you in trouble?”

Jiang Cheng looks at Lan Wangji at that, who simply shrugs.

“You said not to tell. I didn’t,” he easily replies and Jiang Cheng knows that Lan Wangji doesn’t particularly like him, so he didn’t expect that.

Since Jiang Cheng moved into Lan Qiren’s house permanently Lan Wangji has been a lot nicer during family meals, but they will never be best friends and that’s okay with Jiang Cheng, but to hear that he respected his wishes really touches him.

“Thank you,” Jiang Cheng whispers and Lan Wangji only nods.

“What’s going on here?” Wei Wuxian whines when he sees them exchanging looks and Jiang Cheng sighs.

“You know what?” Jiang Cheng asks him and shuts his book. “Come to the house tomorrow afternoon and you’ll see,” Jiang Cheng tells him, because tomorrow they will pick up the last of Jiang Cheng’s things from his old room and Jiang Cheng suspects that Wei Wuxian needs to see that Jiang Cheng left to really believe it.

“You know what, you should bring A-jie as well,” Jiang Cheng says as he stands up. “She should know, too.”

Jiang Cheng felt bitter for about the first week when he realized that neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Yanli noticed that he’s not at home, or when neither one of them checked in on him, but he realized that it’s unfair.

Jiang Yanli is just starting her new life with Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian is clearly still living on cloud seven with Lan Wangji so of course they wouldn’t notice.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t like it, but he understands. It’s unfair of him to expect to have all of their attention all the time and Jiang Yanli did ask about his wrist.

“What is going on?” Wei Wuxian whines again but this time it’s Lan Wangji who shushes him.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t pay too much attention to him anymore, simply walking away and getting to his class.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng is nervous when Lan Xichen leaves him to it. He talked him through the whole process of making Lan Qiren’s favourite dish, not actually helping that much and he seemed proud enough with Jiang Cheng’s result that Jiang Cheng shouldn’t fret so much.

But he can’t help it.

He feels like if he botched this attempt of Lan Qiren’s food then he might as well just move back in with his parents and Jiang Cheng is stressing way too much over this.

He wishes Lan Xichen hadn’t left as soon as they were done, if just so that someone was around to keep his mind off things, and Jiang Cheng briefly debates calling Jiang Yanli, but in the end he doesn’t.

If he calls her now, he would have to explain why he is cooking for Lan Qiren and Jiang Cheng doesn’t feel like doing that this evening. He will have to explain enough tomorrow after all.

Jiang Cheng is startled out of his panic when he hears a key in the door and his hands start to sweat when Lan Qiren calls out a “I’m home”.

“Welcome home,” Jiang Cheng gives back and meets Lan Qiren in the doorway to the kitchen.

“What’s smelling so good?” Lan Qiren asks and Jiang Cheng gives him a sheepish smile.

“I cooked,” he says and Lan Qiren’s face immediately falls, and Jiang Cheng feels sick with nerves.

“Why? How is your wrist? Did you overdo it?” Lan Qiren asks immediately and he reaches out for Jiang Cheng’s arm as if he could tell if Jiang Cheng overworked it.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, Xichen-ge did all the heavy cutting, don’t worry. I was careful,” Jiang Cheng reassures him, flooded with warmth when he realizes that Lan Qiren is simply worried for him.

“Is that what you were talking with my nephew about today?” Lan Qiren asks as he looks into the kitchen.

“Yes,” Jiang Cheng admits. “He offered to teach me one of your favourite dishes. I wanted to do something nice for you, for once,” Jiang Cheng whispers and Lan Qiren’s face smoothes out.

“Wanyin,” he breathes out and tugs Jiang Cheng into a half-hug. “Thank you,” he sincerely says and then moves them into the kitchen.

“It smells delicious,” Lan Qiren praises him and Jiang Cheng ducks his head at that.

He’s not used to being thanked or to getting praised and he still doesn’t know how to handle it. So instead of looking at Lan Qiren he busies himself with setting the table while Lan Qiren brings over the heavier pots.

Jiang Cheng keeps quiet as they start to eat, as per the rules in Lan Qiren’s house, and so he’s extremely surprised when Lan Qiren lowers his chopsticks after a few bites.

“It’s absolutely delicious, Wanyin,” he says and Jiang Cheng is surprised enough that he broke his own rule so that he only stares at Lan Qiren until Lan Qiren awkwardly clears his throat.

“I’m glad you like it,” Jiang Cheng finally says and then shoves another bite into his mouth.

Thankfully they spend the rest of the dinner in silence after that, but the praise sits warm and heavy in Jiang Cheng’s gut, warming him through and through.

He’s not used to feeling like this, but he likes it very much.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng swallows heavily as he looks up at the house in front of him but Lan Qiren is a steady presence at his side.

“We’ll just get your last things and then you won’t have to come back,” Lan Qiren promises him but Jiang Cheng is too nervous to nod, because he spotted his parent’s cars in the garage and he knows it won’t be nice.

It will be even messier, Jiang Cheng realizes with a start when Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli come up to them.

“A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli greets him warmly and pulls him into a hug. “How is your wrist?”

“It’s all good,” he reassures her but she still checks his wrist for herself. “You won’t see anything,” he says with a slight chuckle but she continues to fuss over him.

“What is Headmaster Lan doing here?” Wei Wuxian asks though he does pull Jiang Cheng into a hug as well.

“We’re getting my things,” Jiang Cheng tells them when Lan Qiren stays quiet.

“Your things?” Jiang Yanli asks with a small frown and Jiang Cheng nods.

“I am no longer living here,” Jiang Cheng finally admits and watches as their eyes go big.

“What?” Wei Wuxian almost yells out and Jiang Cheng can tell that Lan Qiren wants to reprimand him for his volume but then thinks better of it.

“Wanyin is living with me,” Lan Qiren tells them and then pushes Jiang Cheng towards the house. “Let’s get this over with, okay?” Lan Qiren asks and Jiang Cheng knows that he’s looking forward to the family dinner they will have this evening.

Jiang Cheng is too, if he’s being honest.

“You’re what?” Wei Wuxian calls after them, but Jiang Yanli shushes him and follows them as well.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t have a key anymore—his mother took it when they came by the first time two weeks ago—and both his siblings give him a startled look when he rings the doorbell.

His mother flings the door open and she scans the small crowd in front of her with a judging look.

“It took you long enough,” she then says, not looking at Lan Qiren at all, who puts a steadying hand to Jiang Cheng’s back.

“It won’t take long,” Jiang Cheng says and his mother scoffs at him.

“As if anything you did ever went fast,” she mutters under her breath and Jiang Cheng can feel how Lan Qiren stiffens next to him.

“Mother!” Jiang Yanli snaps out and Jiang Cheng flinches he’s so surprised at that.

But their mother doesn’t even spare her a look and simply walks away from them, clearly trusting that Jiang Cheng will show them the way.

They barely made it three steps into the house when Jiang Fengmian comes out.

“What is going on here?” he demands to know when he sees his children and Lan Qiren in his hallway and Jiang Cheng takes a steadying breath before he answers him.

“We’re here to get the rest of my things,” Jiang Cheng tells him and Jiang Fengmian frowns at him.

“The rest of your things?” he asks, but then he gets distracted when Wei Wuxian moves or breath or whatever it is he does to capture Jiang Cheng’s father’s attention so easily.

“How have you been, A-Xian?” he wants to know and Jiang Cheng can’t help the bitter laugh he lets out at that.

“Father,” Jiang Yanli scolds him as well but Jiang Fengmian seems honestly confused about what she is so upset about.

“We know the way, don’t trouble yourself,” Lan Qiren suddenly speaks up and moves confidently down the hallway towards Jiang Cheng’s room.

“What is Headmaster Lan doing here?” Jiang Fengmian asks and Jiang Cheng is surprised to find that he’s not surprised to realize that his father didn’t even notice his continued absence. “Are you in trouble again?” he asks then and his voice is heavy with disappointment.

“He is helping me getting my things,” Jiang Cheng says, with more patience than he actually feels.

“Your things? Where are you staying?” he asks and Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“As if you really care,” he mutters, and then drags his siblings along when he follows after Lan Qiren.

“A-Cheng, for how long has this been going on?” Jiang Yanli asks him on the way and when Jiang Cheng only presses his lips together.

“Since the fight, right?” Wei Wuxian suddenly asks. “When I told you not to come home.”

“Since the fight, yes,” Jiang Cheng answers. “Lan Qiren brought me to the hospital when mother wanted me to go to work. And then I had nowhere to stay, so he allowed me to come over. I’ve been over a lot and then two weeks ago mother wanted me to get the cast off and Lan Qiren had a few words for her.”

“She wanted to have the cast taken off after four weeks?” Jiang Yanli suddenly asks and Jiang Cheng nods.

“And Lan Qiren didn’t let her?”

“Him and the doctor they took me to.”

“Good of them,” Wei Wuxian says with vehemence and Jiang Yanli nods at that.

Lan Qiren already gathered most of the things Jiang Cheng mentioned he needs and so there is not actually that much left to do for him.

“Anything else?” Lan Qiren asks him and Jiang Cheng quickly gathers two more knickknacks he knows he would miss, but then that’s it.

That’s his whole life packed away in two short trips and Jiang Cheng isn’t actually that sad about it.

“Where are you going?” Jiang Fengmian suddenly asks from the door, a thunderous expression on his face. “Is this why you haven’t been at work?”

“Now you notice,” Jiang Cheng says with a scoff, but when Lan Qiren puts a hand to his arm, he falls silent.

“You will let us leave now. Wanyin will not be back, and if you need further details you best speak to your wife.”

“You can’t just take my son. That’s abduction!”

“And what you’re doing is child neglect at best and active abuse at worst,” Lan Qiren hisses at him, and Jiang Cheng ducks his head.

He objectively knows that Lan Qiren is speaking the truth but it doesn’t make this any easier to take.

“A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli whispers, clearly horrified but Jiang Cheng shushes her, too concentrated on the look on Jiang Fengmian’s face.

“What are you saying?” he demands to know, but he already lost his posture so Jiang Cheng knows that he will let them leave without further fight.

His father did always shy away from confrontation.

“I am saying that if you don’t want child protection to come knocking on your door you better shut up now,” Lan Qiren says and Jiang Cheng has never heard him speak like this to anyone.

It seems like he has no respect at all for Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Cheng can understand that.

“Wanyin,” Jiang Fengmian tries, but even as Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli clearly gear up to tell him a few choice words, Lan Qiren steps right in front of Jiang Cheng and blocks his view at Jiang Fengmian.

“You will not speak to Wanyin, except to apologize to him and to wish him a good life at my place,” Lan Qiren decides and then nods, clearly expecting Jiang Fengmian’s silence.

“Then get out of the way,” Lan Qiren says and when Jiang Fengmian isn’t quick enough to comply with his wishes, he bodily pushes him aside.

Lan Qiren never struck Jiang Cheng as a physical person, but it seems like he’s entirely fed up with Jiang Cheng’s parents and Jiang Cheng can’t say that he minds it much.

“Come on, Wanyin,” Lan Qiren says over his shoulder and Jiang Cheng sticks close to his side when he starts to walk away.

Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian don’t follow them immediately, but Jiang Cheng doesn’t look back.

He suspects they have a few words for Jiang Fengmian as well, and he’s not too keen on listening in on that.

Madam Yu doesn’t show up when they leave and Jiang Cheng is really grateful for that, because he doesn’t feel ready for another confrontation with her, even though Lan Qiren is a steady and supportive presence for him.

“Can we wait for my siblings here?” Jiang Cheng asks when they are at Lan Qiren’s car and of course Lan Qiren nods.

“Are you okay?” Lan Qiren asks and Jiang Cheng blinks when he realizes that he is.

“Yes,” he honestly says. “Thanks to you,” Jiang Cheng tacks on and then he darts in to quickly hug Lan Qiren, who pats his back when Jiang Cheng can’t bring himself to let go again immediately.

“A-Cheng,” Jiang Yanli suddenly says from behind them and it’s only then that Jiang Cheng lets go of Lan Qiren.

“Oh, A-Cheng, I didn’t know what mother wanted to do,” Jiang Yanli says as she pulls him into a hug herself and Jiang Cheng bites back the bitter reply on his tongue and falls into her embrace instead.

“It’s alright,” Jiang Cheng mutters, and then groans when Wei Wuxian gathers them both up in a hug as well.

“You should have said something,” Wei Wuxian mumbles but before Jiang Cheng can say that maybe they should have realized on their own, Wei Wuxian goes on. “I’m glad you had Headmaster Lan at your side.”

“Me, too,” Jiang Cheng gives back, because he doesn’t even want to imagine what would have happened to him if Lan Qiren hadn’t been there for him.

“We have to go, guys,” Jiang Cheng says when the hug goes on and on, and while he enjoys this, he knows that Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji are waiting for them at Lan Qiren’s place, and he’s actually looking forward to that dinner.

“Alright,” Jiang Yanli reluctantly says and let’s go of Jiang Cheng.

“You’re welcome to visit Wanyin whenever you like,” Lan Qiren speaks up, much to Jiang Cheng’s surprise.

“Thank you,” Jiang Yanli says and then also hugs Lan Qiren.

He doesn’t quite seem to know what to do with that, but before he can figure it out Jiang Yanli steps back again.

“Thank you so much for taking care of my didi,” she quietly tacks on and Lan Qiren clears his throat.

“You’re welcome,” he says without meeting anyone’s eyes and then he gets into the car, clearly looking to get out of this situation.

Jiang Cheng smiles at his behaviour and Wei Wuxian brushes their shoulder’s together.

“Are you really doing alright?” he quietly asks and Jiang Cheng leans into his side.

“Yes,” he honestly says and Wei Wuxian nods.

“I promise to keep better in touch now,” Wei Wuxian says. “I know I was occupied with Lan Zhan, and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s alright,” Jiang Cheng gives back, even though he’s not entirely sure it is, but when Wei Wuxian smiles at him he figures they will be okay.

“We’ll be around much more,” Jiang Yanli also promises him and takes his hand in hers. “I promise. I’m so sorry I left you alone with this.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jiang Cheng says.

Jiang Yanli is only two years older than him after all and it really shouldn’t be her job to worry about Jiang Cheng’s life.

“But I will still do better now,” she says and Jiang Cheng believes her.

“Alright,” he says and then smiles apologetically at her and Wei Wuxian. “Listen, we have to go now. It’s family dinner tonight,” he explains and is startled when he sees tears in Jiang Yanli’s eyes.

“Go and enjoy your family dinner then,” Jiang Yanli says as she pats Jiang Cheng’s cheek and he blushes.

“I will,” he promises and then he moves away from them, because he actually itches to leave with Lan Qiren now.

“Are you ready?” Lan Qiren asks when he slides into the car with him, and Jiang Cheng nods.

“It’s too much today,” he admits. “But I’m looking forward to them visiting.”

“They truly are always welcome,” Lan Qiren reiterates again and reaches over to squeeze Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Jiang Cheng whispers. “For everything.”

“That’s what you do for family,” Lan Qiren replies even as he starts the car, mostly to avoid looking at Jiang Cheng, he knows that by now.

Jiang Cheng smiles at his predictable behaviour and then settles deeper into the seat.

Lan Xichen promised to make Jiang Cheng’s favourite dishes today and Jiang Cheng is even looking forward to see Lan Wangji and he realizes that this must be what family feels like.

It’s a very warm and comfortable feeling and Jiang Cheng hopes he gets a lot more of this now.

But when he looks over at Lan Qiren, Jiang Cheng knows that he will do his best to make sure that Jiang Cheng always feels like this.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

Next part

[itsclydebitches]

Is there a direction that CRWBY could go to make u say "fuck it, I'm done"? I'm still watching for fanfiction purposes and bc I'm in to deep to quit without feeling like i wasted my time, but if Cinder is redeemed, like full-on redeemed without her death (that's the only justifiable redemption for her imo), I'll likely tap out if it's not the end of the series.

Honestly, at this point probably not. If I've stuck around for plotlines I thoroughly disagreed with (Ozpin), the destruction of characters I enjoyed (Ironwood), while simultaneously redeeming others I have no interest in (Hazel), and including aspects that I found to be straight up offensive (Penny)... RWBY has already hit all the "Fuck it, I'm done" possibilities for me, generally speaking. It's more likely that rather than doing something specific that turns me off, RWBY may just wear me down over time. I'm still interested in watching it despite the problems now, but after two, three, even four more years of potential problems? Who can say.

I'd like to briefly comment on that "I'm in too deep to quit without feeling like I wasted my time" aspect though, simply because I'm seeing it pop up more and more. Fans, specifically fans who have expressed varying amounts of criticism, say something to that effect of not wanting to drop RWBY when they've already put in years of emotional investment, to which others, usually fans still greatly enjoying RWBY, respond, "That's just the sunk cost fallacy. At this point you're being illogical for not dropping it."

For any who may not be aware, the sunk cost fallacy is the tendency to avoid cutting one's losses once you've already invested something in an endeavor: time, money, emotion, etc. The argument is to avoid such biased thinking because you can't get that investment back and all you're doing is prolonging a lack of enjoyment. An easy example would be a movie you payed for. You realize twenty minutes in that you hate this film, but you can't get your ticket money back. Many people would employ the sunk cost fallacy by claiming they need to stick around because otherwise that money is "wasted." The counter argument is that the money is wasted either way, so better to leave the theater and spend that hour and forty minutes doing something you like. That's becoming the latest argument trend in the RWBY fandom: it doesn't matter how many years you spent investing in this show, they're lost, you clearly hate it now, so just drop it already. To do otherwise is philosophically foolish.

However, I've personally always found the sunk cost fallacy to be a weird thing to apply to media. Not because countering it is entirely without merit — we all should practice dropping things if we want to: books, movies, podcasts, whatever — but rather because there's so much to be gained from media outside of enjoying 100% of the time. For me, finishing things is a kind of enjoyment. I'm rather bad at it (lol), but that doesn't erase the fact that I have an intellectual itch to complete any series I fell in love with, particularly when I loved it for 3+ years. Managing that provides a different kind of enjoyment from the enjoyment of being totally happy with the show's writing, but it's an enjoyment nonetheless. If I'm critical of something, I like being able to say honestly that I completed it so that can't be used as a catch-all dismissal for why any arguments I make are unfounded. I enjoy seeing what missteps a show goes through so that I can try to avoid them in my own writing and, hopefully, I enjoy watching the show come back from them. I like keeping up with a community that I'm a part of, one where I chat with both friends and strangers specifically about RWBY. If I were to drop it, I'd also be dropping the connection I have with a lot of people. I likewise enjoy keeping up with the show for the creativity potential — "for fanfiction purposes," as you say, anon. I may not like how the show handled the Hound, but I like the Hound as a concept and now, having watched Volume 8, I can play with that idea in my own way. And none of this even touches on the enjoyment of details throughout an episode (or season) that I think is otherwise failing: a particularly cool idea, a nicely delivered exchange, animation that I find to be beautiful, spending time with characters whose original concepts I still enjoy, etc.

The critical side of the fandom has discussed extensively the non-critical side's tendency to view RWBY as perfect. It's not that many fans disagree on what problems RWBY has, but rather it's refusing to admit that there are any problems. This new desire to bring up the sunk cost fallacy feels like it's built on that, the idea that if you're not enjoying all of RWBY all the time then you need to cut it out of your life completely. There is no middle ground. You either adore it without reservation or you drop it and, as is so often said, leave the "real" fans alone. Stop ruining the community and all that because the expectation is that the community is allowed to be composed of praise and praise only. It's a familiar argument wrapped up in a very disingenuous sense of concern. When one fan insists that another should drop RWBY because they're just hurting themselves, they're acting like they really care about the others' well being when, in reality, they just want them gone. It's a trend that I'm coming to dislike because it tries to paint the fan as the logical, level-headed one who is only trying to get the critic to drop RWBY out of a sense of logical inevitability and, sometimes, even concern for this stranger's mental health... because there's definitely no other motivation there.

All of which is a long-winded way of saying, "Me too, anon." As of right now, I still feel like I'm in too deep to just drop RWBY. I'd rather see it through, for a number of different reasons, and all the "it's illogical/unhealthy to keep watching" arguments aren't going to dissuade me from that.

[juniaships]

Odelloyd (Yodel shipping)

Since @minecraftninjerkid expressed interest I wrote a particularly long post about Odette and Lloyd Garmadon's relationship. It's basically set in my AU of the while Ninjago canon. It's pretty angsty in some parts, and honestly I love this couple because it's a story of two individuals who learn to trust and like TALK with each other and work out their issues together! Plus I feel like if Lloyd needed another love interest within canon it should be someone who can match his energy, a strong young lady who works side by side with him!

Harumi is still the princess but now she has a LADY IN WAITING!! YAYAY

Mostly because she needed a morality pet in some way but also a foil to show if Harumi hadn't been so consumed by personal demons

Odette was a homeless orphan living on the streets with her sister; often stealing from food carts to feed themselves

One night Odette made the mistake of stealing from one of the SOG and they catch her and bring her to their base

Instead of being mad Harumi was impressed by her thieving skills and decided to recruit her. Odette didn't want to at first but then she had second thoughts thinking the extra money could help her and baby sis

So Harumi brings her back and manages to convince the Emperor and Empress to hire Odette as a lady in waiting & decoy if Harumi needed to sneak out to do her business Odette is So instead of it being Harumi it's Odette who stays and befriends the ninja

Odette had NO IDEA her friend plotted to blow up the palace - with her still inside - not great thinking there o' Quiet One

She also had no idea how AWESOME Lloyd is on a motorcycle: "Sweet moves grasshopper!"

They stop at several places gathering clues on the location on the final mask leaving a lot of time for Lloyd and odette to bond; for the first time in forever Odette starts to enjoy life again

The Ninja take Odette in and decide to search for the final mask. Odette does what she can to help out (and find info) getting close to them and my OCs

Lloyd even buys her a gift: a lotus shaped hairpin to replace the one she lost in the palace fight

The jungle incident happens; Lloyd and Odette separates for a while and she comes across the real princess who had stalked the group the whole time undercover

But she's afraid that her big secret might come out everywhere she goes she's often looking over her shoulder

Odette starts to really enjoy the Ninja's company and all her perceived notions about them fade; but she still had to find Harumi to try to talk her out of her plot

Odette meets up with Lloyd inside the caves and they look for the final mask. Finally they see it and Lloyd grabs it, happy that they found the masks before the gang did but notices Odette isn't feeling the same

She's tells Harumi that they're all making a HUGE mistake with the Masks; Harumi of course refuses and orders her to stick to the plan or else

He asks her what's wrong and that's when Odette becomes hysterical and begs Lloyd to destroy the mask or run

Lloyd doesn't know whay she's talking about and tries to calm her down suddenly they hear some sarcastic clapping and in steps in Harumi. Dressed in full Royal Garb

Lloyd is confused and doesn't understand looking back and forth between the newly revealed Princess and the one next to him

Harumi reveals that she is - was - the real princess and that Odette was acting as her decoy to spy on the ninja. She hadn't count on Lloyd catching feelings for Odette which made it all the more sweeter

Odette pleas with Lloyd claiming that while she was ordered to spy, her feelings for him and his friends were genuine. Lloyd coldly brushes he brushes her off and calls her a liar and demands Harumi why she planned all this. The Princess explains that the Ninja failed to save her family from the Great Devourer & that it was Lloyd himself who unleashed such monster on the city killing her parents and several civilians

Harumi also revealed that she had the Emperor and Empress assassinated as punishment for their inaction during that event, and subsequent failure in treating her like a person. "They didn't want a daughter they wanted a Princess."

Harumi takes out her knife and begins attacking Lloyd; Odette watches helplessly as they fight and in the ensuing chaos Harumi knicks Lloyd and orders Odette to return to their group

The Ninja wait by the docks and discovers Odette and the real princess together. They're shocked to see two Princesses; the real Harumi admits her plan knowing they wouldn't last for long to do anything to stop her. An Angry Kai yells at Odette for selling them out

Then the monster attack happens because it is drawn to the mask's essence; Lloyd saves Odette from being crushed, she tries to use the brief chance to explain but he still brush her off

The SOG board their ship and leaves; Odette wallows in guilt Harumi snarky asks her if she really thinks the Ninja are her friends. Odette shakes her head no and looks out the window praying for them to be alright

Back at the city the SOG takes Misako (and Cole's gf Rhenée) hostage to draw Lloyd out. Odette is no longer in her casual clothes but in SOG attire; at the ritual she pretends to be clumsy hoping to stall the ritual long enough

Rhenée asks Odette if she's willing to risk her soul for the terrible actions of other, hoping that Odette can make the right choice. This makes her think about her placement in the SOG

Suddenly the ninja crashes the party just in time and battles the gang. Odette frees Rhenee and Misako and allows herself to be apprehended

Outside she's sitting in the police van when Lloyd walks by and she begs him to hear her out. He wants to listen but is furious with her for betraying them and cuts her off

The ninja head to a bar to celebrate their victory; Lloyd has an honest talk with his mother about Harumi and vows to never trust again. Rhenée says that while Odette lied to them she notices that she's very different from the rest of the SOG

At the jailhouse Odette is sobbing at having lost everything - her friends, her life, and maybe even her sister. She takes out the lotus pin and is about to throw it way when she hears some commotion outside. Apparently the ritual brought back a monster. Fearing for her sister's safety she uses the pin to unlock her cell and sneaks out

Lloyd is too occupied with protecting Baby Wu to fight off Harumi; before she knocks him off Odette arrives & saves him and the baby

In the chaos the Monster arrives and tries to crush them all, Odette gives Lloyd enough time to escape but she falls to her supposed death in the process

Once the battle is over the four original ninjas are nowhere to be seen and are presumed dead

They find out Odette disappeared also, and believe her to he dead too

Harumi and her gang express joy at their enemies demise; and the gang no longer recognize Odette as their own seeing her as a traitor. Deep down Harumi feels a tiny bit pain over the loss of her only real friend but quickly sets that aside to prepare one last scheme

Lloyd grieves Odette's loss regretting they never had the chance to really TALK about what happened between them.

Unknown to everyone, the ninja and Odette were transported to the First Realm

Seasons 9&10 ramps up the angst

Cole is the first one who demands to hear her explanation. Odette explains her backstory and says whole none of it justifies her lies she has now become aware of her actions and is willing to help the ninja FOR REAL FOR REAL

The ninja do NOT want Odette anywhere near them after her betrayal and for a while shuns her.

Zane is the second one; his relationship with former merc Jetta he understands a bit what it's like to choose bad things for survive

Jay and Kai takes the longest: Jay because he's paranoid that Odette may just be evil and insane as Harumi; Kai because he is very protective of Lloyd (who he sees as a younger brother, and even had begun to saw Odette as another sister) and furious that she'd hurt him and their whole team like that

This leads to a series of trials for Odette to prove that she's willing to atone; she actually finds the last dragon's nest and vows to protect it

Meanwhile in Ninjago the city started an underground resistance led by Lloyd and Nya; Lloyd took in Odette's sister to take care of her now that she is gone

Odette and the Ninja finds a way out of the first realm and arrives with their new dragons. Odette splits off to confront Harumi and sees her on top of a building...which is about to fall much to her horror

Lloyd witnesses the scene and shouts Odette's name; the building collapses and he sinks to his knees in fear

Everyone watches with baited breath and cheers as they see both girls and the dragon coming out of the smoke alive

Lloyd and Odette apologize to each other then go off with their friends to fight off the Oni invasion

Once everything is over & Harumi decides to turn a new leaf and surrenders, everyone gathers at the monastery to celebrate. Wu invites Odette and her sister a permanent home with them

After s10 they don't get back together that quickly. Lloyd still has trust issues as in canon and Odette feels like shit believing herself to tbe the cause. Lloyd says it's not her fault, he's simply fed up with random villains coming at him for the crime of being the Chosen One.™

Odette isn't exactly let off easy by the public; there's multiple conspiracies about her and stuff and some aren't exatly forgiving her for working with a group that killed the royal family and destroyed the city. In order to redeem herself in the eyes of the public Odette starts training to become a real Ninja, doing little side missions to help people even something as simple as helping little old ladies use an escalator. Lloyd supports her every step of the way, using his popularity "and natural charisma" to dispel any rumors about her.

[thebiscuiteternal]

“Introductions” Reverse Nies, First Meetings, New Jobs, Brotherly Ribbing, Nie Mingjue Is A Brat, Nie Huaisang Stress Cooks, Meng Yao Absolutely Does Not Have A New Crush

__________

In the not quite a week since he has met the younger man, Meng Yao has learned that outside of the battlefield, Nie Mingjue is surprisingly quiet. True, his voice tends to roar when he uses it, but he doesn’t actually use it that often unless provoked either by particularly good circumstances or particularly bad.

After reading the reports Meng Yao had painstakingly compiled for him, the younger man had nodded, seemingly to himself, then stood up and headed for the horse pens, beckoning him to follow. “This is high quality work. My older brother will love you,” he had said then, earnest and concise in the praise.

However, that was almost a full day ago, and the general has said very little since except to send off a message that he couldn’t glean the contents of.

Oddly, Meng Yao finds he doesn't mind the quiet, but his curiosity finally gets the better of him once they are within sight of the Unclean Realms. "What is your brother like?" he asks. He has developed a general idea of the sect from observing its soldiers and cultivators, but he honestly has heard very little about Nie Huaisang, the man who runs it, most of the gossip steadfastly remaining centered around Nie Mingjue himself.

Nie Mingjue snorts, looking amused. "You'll see."

That sounds... vaguely ominous.

Servants meet them to take the horses, and he mentally takes note of how uncomfortable and fidgety the two men seem to be.

Nie Mingjue's good humor vanishes when he also notices. "Is he in the kitchens again?"

One of the stablehands nods. "Tai-zongzhu arrived unannounced just after dawn this morning and Nie-zongzhu entered the secondary kitchen shortly after his departure."

“When was that?”

“A little after chen shi.”

"Ah, shit," Nie Mingjue mutters, scratching the back of his neck. "I'll check on him."

"Thank you, young master."

Meng Yao eyes the younger man as they head towards one of the buildings. "What’s going on? Is there something I should be worried about… like food poisoning?"

Or regular poisoning.

One can never be too sure.

"Ha! No, no, Sang-ge can cook just fine. The problem is that he only ever does it when he's... upset."

He has seen some terrors of the kitchen, but the sight that meets them when they enter still gives him pause. Several fully broken down carcasses -sheep or goats, by the look of the skulls- are neatly arranged in separate piles on the massive main table: meat, bones, hides, offal. A series of buckets are carefully placed for catching the drain off. And in the midst of it all, spattered in blood and busy with a series of knives, is a single man of about the same size as him dressed in plain linens with his hair tied in a severe bun.

"Must've been a hell of a meeting if you couldn't come greet me," Nie Mingjue calls across the room.

The stranger's head shoots up from his work, demeanor immediately brightening. "Jue-er!"

Meng Yao stares as the man -no, wait, Nie-zongzhu- barely takes the time to wipe his hands and wrestle out of the linen overcoat before rushing to hug his younger brother. He still has dried blood swiped across his face, likely from a careless attempt to get errant hair out of his eyes, but neither of them seem to notice, nor care as Nie Mingjue scoops the smaller figure into a bear-like hug.

It is... an interesting look, combined with those facial features.

Quite interesting indeed.

"You can tell me who you were imagining the mutton as later," Nie Mingjue says, putting the other man down. "I've brought you someone."

"Is that so-oh, hello!"

Meng Yao suddenly finds himself the focus of very green eyes, and swallows hard.

"This is Meng Yao, the one I wrote ahead about.” A large hand claps him on the back and the wince that escapes before he can school his expression back to neutrality causes Nie-zongzhu to snicker in a way that absolutely shouldn’t be as cute as it is.

“Jue-er, be nice! He’s not used to that like I am.”

He really should bow. The fact that he hasn't done it already is an insult. And yet the best he can manage is a short nod before he suddenly finds his hands clasped in a tight -and still very slightly bloody- grip and oh, Nie-zongzhu's welcoming grin is even brighter up close.

"And gods, am I glad to meet you! If you can do even half of what Jue-er said you can, you're now my best friend."

“Don’t accept that as a compliment until you see the disaster area he calls an office.”

Nie-zongzhu actually rolls his eyes at his brother. “Just because you can’t find anything in there-”

“It looks like a typhoon went through! Followed by an entire sounder of wild boars!”

This is clearly a very, very old argument, and he’s not sure how he feels about the fact that they’re letting him so freely witness it.

Or the fact that Nie-zongzhu seems to have forgotten he’s still holding Meng Yao’s hands. “Um, could you-”

“Hm?” The other man looks down, then lets go with an embarrassed expression. “Aha, sorry about that. I sometimes forget formality around family.”

“That’s an understatement,” Nie Mingjue mutters, then promptly gets elbowed in the ribs for it.

“Hush, you brat. Anyway, give me just a moment to get this all sorted out,” Nie-zongzhu says, returning to the table and scooping up the outer robe he had been using to cover his clothing. “Then I’ll show you where you’ll be staying.”

“I can do that. Having some unpacking time will let him brace himself for the paper-filled hellhole.” Nie Mingjue ducks a thrown talus bone and shoots his older brother an unrepentant smirk.

“Insufferable menace. I take back every thought I ever had about missing you,” Nie-zongzhu grumbles as he tosses the robe back on. “Fine, get out of here.”

“As my sect leader commands.”

Meng Yao is still slightly dazed by… all of that as Nie Mingjue grabs him by the shoulder and guides him out towards the main building. “Is… is it always like that with you two?”

“Pretty much.”

“Even around the rest of the sect?”

Nie Mingjue’s grin is sharper than his brother’s, but their family resemblance has never been more clear than in that moment. “You’ll get used to it if you stick around.”

Similar to the ‘You’ll see’ from earlier, Meng Yao isn’t sure whether he’s supposed to take that as encouragement or a threat.

---

It takes him longer to marvel at his new home -the bed alone probably costs more than he has ever made in his life- than it does to unpack what few things he has brought, and yet when he returns to the second kitchen, the mess from earlier has already been cleaned up and Nie-zongzhu is attacking vegetables with the same efficient gusto he had been using on the mutton earlier.

“Come sit!” he calls cheerily when he notices Meng Yao hovering by the door.

Meng Yao eyes the knife movements a little dubiously, but edges towards a chair. “What are you making?”

Nie-zongzhu nods to the massive pot gently bubbling on a fire behind him. “Lucky for me, Zhou Lian and her daughter made a good-sized batch of fresh noodles this morning while I was in here, so I’ve started stew.” He scoops up a pile of diced cabbage and almost idly tosses it in without even looking at the pot. “Is your room alright? Anything I need to change?”

“It’s-” overwhelming “-fine. You have an eye for decor.”

“At least you appreciate it. Jue-er would sleep on a rock if I let him.”

Meng Yao has to bite his tongue to keep from snorting, because Nie Mingjue has been doing almost exactly that in the camps. “Where did he go, anyway?” he asks, resting his chin in his hands. “I thought you two would have stitched yourselves to each other’s sides by now.”

He doesn’t mean to speak so casually. It just slips out, lulled by the air of easy sociability that seems to surround Nie-zongzhu. When he realizes what he has said, and to a sect leader, he chokes slightly and straightens up with the intent to apologize, but Nie-zongzhu just laughs.

It’s a nice laugh.

“If it doesn’t involve butchery, you couldn’t pay him to hang around in the kitchens,” the older man says, moving on to a pile of mushrooms. “He’s already gone out to terrorize the training fields until dinner. You’re welcome to join him if you like, I’m sure he’d be happy to throw a sword at you.”

“That sounds tempting,” Meng Yao says, and though he’s not entirely being sarcastic, it earns him another laugh. “But since assisting you is now my assignment, would it be alright if I stayed here and asked a few questions instead? I would like to be prepared in order to perform to the best of my ability.”

“Oh, of course, of course.” Nie-zongzhu makes an offhand gesture with the blade he’s using, and Meng Yao mentally notes how the movement is more suited to holding, say, a fan than a knife. At least they’re a safe distance apart. “Ask away.”

“One of the servants mentioned an incident with a minor sect leader this morning-”

“Ah. That.” The mushrooms go into the pot and Nie-zongzhu sighs. “Honestly, the whole mess isn’t really his fault, since it’s not like he can control the weather nor how the Wens react to it, and I’ve already thought of some possible solutions. I just needed to burn off the irritation first. Could you pass me the onions?”

Meng Yao obligingly gets up to fetch them. “That’s understandable. Is there anything that I could do to help smooth the situation out?”

When he turns back around, the small basket in hand, Nie-zongzhu is looking away at the stew pot and absently tapping his nails against his lower lip in thought.

He forcibly pulls his gaze away from the motion and looks at the basket instead as he sets it down. “Zongzhu?”

“Hm? Oh, sorry. Actually, Jue-er mentioned transferring reports to maps as one of your strong suits. The maps Tai-zongzhu brought aren’t bad , but the storm damage has already outdated them. If you don’t mind, perhaps you could help me figure out a better picture of what we’re dealing with? After dinner, of course.”

A potentially challenging, yet surprisingly simple request, tailored to his abilities, with an opening that he could refuse and ask for a different task if he so chose. Considering the last few weeks of being ordered about on the worst of menial jobs, it’s a refreshing change of pace.

Much like his new employer, actually.

“Of course,” he agrees, and the smile on his face is genuine.

[bedlamsbard]

All right, reactions to Mando 2.05, “The Jedi”, in...semi-coherent form. Spoilers, obvs. I hated this episode, so keep scrolling now if you don’t want to see negativity.  This is not in any kind of order except stream-of-conscious.

again, I reiterate, spoilers.

again, I reiterate, this is REALLY negative.

Rosario Dawson...yikes.

how...did Bo-Katan know that Ahsoka was on Corvus? are they in contact? since when? Ahsoka seems to have been on Corvus for long enough to be a nuisance to the Magistrate (Morgan Elsbeth), but normally Ahsoka is very efficient and she just...really does not seem to be here? I did not get the impression she was planning on sticking around for any period of time.

(the same could be true for Frog Lady and Bo-Katan on Trask several episodes back. that wasn’t a convert, that was three Mandalorians hanging around the port in cloaks. I guess they could be doing that on the regular, but? would the Empire not then be more worried about being attacked by Mandalorians?)

there was only ever a very, very slim chance that I was going to be happy with any translation of Ahsoka from animation to live action.  I am on record as thinking that animation is the medium for Star Wars and that live action is always going to be a weaker medium than animation and that a lot of things that can be done in animation just cannot be translated to live action in any meaningful form.  I knew Ahsoka’s fighting style couldn’t translate to live action convincingly (here’s what I said about the mo-capped duel in TCW); it never occurred to me that they couldn’t pull off TOGRUTA given that Shaak Ti, you know, exists, and also there are so many excellent Ahsoka cosplayers.

(Consider KM Creations’ excellent silicone lekku (S7), which have beautiful movement; the cosplayer behind that is CallMeSnips and her epilogue prototype is from SWCC is in there somewhere.  I think Rei Kennex’s are latex (you can tell they don’t have much movement) but at least they’re the right length.  I think Ahsoka94′s are also latex (again with the movement); this is her Mortis vision grown-up Ahsoka.)

AND YES, THE LEKKU/MONTRALS WERE A DEAL-BREAKER FOR ME.

I feel very “you have made your bed and now you have to die in it” about that -- apparently the reasoning is for stunts and movement, but for me here’s the thing: her lekku length wasn’t optional.  This is not the equivalent of changing a hair style, which some people seem to think (believe me, I have read so many hot takes); this is like...I’m trying to think of a good comparison.  Like putting Peter Mayhew or Joonas Suotamo in a wig because Chewie’s head was too hard for the actor to see out of, or giving them normal human hands because they can’t grip with the Wookiee hands.

Also your main character wears a helmet at all times that (if it’s anything like my Mandalorian helmet) is pretty poor visibility and full body armor and THIS was your breaking point for stunts?

Ahsoka’s lekku and montrals grow as she ages. These are about S7 length; as @reena-jenkins put it, THEY DE-AGED HER HEAD.  Ahsoka fans coming in know this.  PEOPLE SAW THE REBELS EPILOGUE.

I wonder how many of the people being self-righteous about being totally fine about Ahsoka’s lekku are the same people who claim that Katee Sackhoff is too young to play Bo-Katan.

this also puts them in a weird position in regards to the inevitable merchandise: do they go with normal Ahsoka from TCW and Rebels, the one everyone is familiar with, or do they go with these stunted lekku?

(I can’t believe they’re going to make Her Universe sell merch with this Ahsoka on it. it’s not going to happen but I wish HU was going to be petty enough to not sell any nu!Ahsoka merch.)

Here is some nice art of how Ahsoka’s lekku and montral should have looked.

hoo boy were those prosthetics also just Bad.

“but the stunts” buddy I’m sure Pedro Pascal and his various stunt doubles aren’t having a great time in full armor with almost no visibility either

if you’re going to put the character in, do it right

YOU CAN’T CHEAT

look, I am really, really aural -- the best example I can give is that even though intellectually I know that Matt Lanter and Hayden Christensen both play Anakin Skywalker, I literally cannot parse them as both being the same Anakin Skywalker and for that reason TCW and the PT don’t exist for the same continuity for me.  (This also goes for Ewan McGregor and James Arnold Taylor, Natalie Portman and Cat Taber, and Samuel L. Jackson and TC Carson. I can kinda cope with the multiple Palpatine VAs. Yes, the decision to use Hayden and Sam in Ahsoka’s vision in “Shattered,” even blending into Matt’s voice from Hayden’s, threw me so badly I couldn’t take the vision seriously.)  Ashley Eckstein has a very distinctive voice, and moreover has been the only person to ever voice Ahsoka up to this point (even in the Ahsoka novel audiobook). Barring a MIRACLE I was never going to be able to parse another actress’s voice as Ahsoka’s, solely because of how my brain works.

I could probably have parsed someone else’s face because animated Ahsoka is pretty stylized but the voice thing is a huge problem for me because of how aural I am.

(I say this but when Squadrons did a more live action-style Hera -- knowing they mo-capped Vanessa Marshall I think they used Vanessa’s face for Hera’s, which is also what it looks like on the revised art and face sculpt for the Black Series Hera -- I kind of had a meltdown about it (for...weird reasons). And that was the same VA.)

(The timeskip between TCW and Rogue One, then Rebels, probably saved Saw Gerrera for me here, but he was also never a main character.)

can you believe that Sam Witwer’s Maul got more live action respect than Ashley Eckstein’s Ahsoka

I love Sam’s Maul but wow

this is particularly jarring because Dave Filoni and Ashley Eckstein always seemed like they were friends? I realize that this gets skewed by how little of their actual lives we see online, but that is the vibe that I’ve gotten from interviews and social media posts.

can you believe that TROS gave more respect to Ashley Eckstein’s Ahsoka than Dave Filoni’s Mando episode did (here is her statement on TROS.)

back in March, when the Dawson casting rumors first dropped (or leaked, as the case may be), Ashley posted a statement about it saying that she was not involved in The Mandalorian. she has over the years been very vocal about desperately wanting to play live-action Ahsoka, who is a character solely associated with her up until today, and honestly this just breaks my heart.

I am not the massive Ashley Eckstein fan that many Ahsoka fans are, but I have never heard anything bad about her (I saw her at my hotel at SWCC while I was waiting for my roommate to arrive! that’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to her, a distance of about six feet), and I really desperately hope that someone told her about this beforehand and she didn’t find out from watching the episode.

Also, while I’m here talking about Ashley Eckstein, the characterization here was extremely off, in that specific way that happens when a writer/director is working with their absolute favorite character, DAVE FILONI. I do trust Ashley to course-correct Dave on Ahsoka (in the same way we’ve heard about Sam Witwer pushing back on people about Maul), and that...was not happening here.  (I think Katee Sachoff said something similar to this about Bo-Katan in her interview last week, as well.)

how did you get Bo-Katan so right and Ahsoka so wrong

look, Dave Filoni is truly living up to George Lucas’s legacy in that he can story tell pretty well but he’s not actually that great at nitty-gritty of writing and directing. (none of the really good TCW episodes are his.)

this episode made me think of A Friend in Need (which he directed) which is not, like, a BAD episode but quite notoriously includes the Bo-Katan ass-slap and also Ahsoka beheading four Mandalorians at once.

it also includes a helpless village of oppressed and exploited Asian-coded civilians who are there mostly as background scenery so the bad guys can be bad and the heroes can feel righteous

I’ll come back to that one

the level of violence in this episode was...weird. honestly, too high? in a way that probably would not have registered if it was anyone but Ahsoka. look, I am an animated shows person. I know TCW and Rebels inside and out. I know that neither one is particularly shy about killing off faceless bad guys (though if you watch Rebels S1 compared to Rebels S4 they really dial back the amount of fatal violence the main characters commit in the last season, lol).  But this felt off for Ahsoka in a way I can’t really articulate.

why is Ahsoka attacking a random Mandalorian (her allies are Mandalorians!) who is walking through the woods WITH A BABY? WITHOUT WARNING?

part of that is just her movement -- when they animated her for TCW back in 2008, they made a deliberate decision to give her mannerisms and movement and a fighting style that a human can’t do because she isn’t human and animation can do that. which means that they hobbled themselves when they came to translating her to live action because uh a human can’t do that.

something about her lightsaber blades looked really, really wrong and I can’t put my finger on what. it’s like they just used the illuminated blades of the stunt sabers but didn’t do the extra CGI that the films do? I don’t know.

Ahsoka did a LOT of dramatic posing and what WAS that?

Dave can’t direct live action, that’s what that was

since when can you canonically convey that much information mind to mind

are Ahsoka and Grogu a dyad in the Force (I know the answer is no but also: what? what was happening?)

the only people we’ve seen who can do that sort of thing are Quinlan Vos and Cal Kestis, who both have the rare talent for telemetry, and even that’s not mind to mind communication, that’s touching a thing and going “YIKES”

you are telling me that Ahsoka Tano, whom six months ago we saw take on Darth Maul, a whole barrage of Mandalorian warriors, and her entire clone trooper battalion and walk away without a scratch, had to work up a sweat fighting one woman with a spear

you do know that we all saw TCW and Rebels right

and here’s the problem! this episode makes zero sense if you HAVE seen TCW and Rebels because (1) she doesn’t look right (2) she doesn’t fight right (3) timelines? we’ve never heard of them? (4) is Thrawn back? did you find the Chimaera? (you all do remember that Ezra and Thrawn aren’t out there alone and are in fact with a 40,000 man crewed star destroyer right) (5) did you NOT find them? (6) are you even looking? (7) this is supposed to be AFTER the Rebels epilogue unless you’ve decided to take advantage of that specific ending scene not being super specifically dated and if it’s before IT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE! because I desperately hate that epilogue and its implications EVEN AS IT IS! (8) why would you call this episode “The Jedi” when since 2013 Ahsoka’s whole thing has been not being a Jedi

to be fair I’m pretty sure S7 tried very hard to course correct that but unfortunately, they could not because the rest of canon exists

are you still trying to deny me grown Ahsoka and Rex when we know you got Temuera back for a five second shot of Boba

to be fair I would have the same aural problems with Temuera voicing Rex because that’s Dee Bradley Baker as far as I’m concerned (I reiterate that this is because of how my brain process character and sound, not anythign else)

if you haven’t seen TCW and Rebels this is a random Jedi wandering around for no specific reason namedropping a completely random person who has no prior significance unless it’s going to turn up later

this entire show has consisted of namedropping random people and things with no prior significance within the show itself and it remains entirely unclear whether they’re ever going to have significance within the show itself

look, I can buy Ahsoka not wanting to train the kid both for her stated reasons and for some implied stuff from earlier on in canon (the kids in the Ahsoka novel, the babies from Future of the Force), even what happened with Ezra, and obviously she has Plans and cannot haul a baby around with her when that baby is going to be a baby for an indeterminate amount of time

which honestly is something that ought to come up because even if Ahsoka wanted to train the kid by the time she grew old and died he might, if we were very lucky, have advanced to being essentially a pre-teen and then would be on his own again? this is also true for Din.

lol sure go cast yourself out into the Force, I’m sure there’s absolutely not a single darksider still wandering around the galaxy who might perk up at “ooh, free apprentice!”

I’m literally starting to think that this show takes place in an alternate universe where Luke and Leia either don’t exist or died at some point in the OT

me, baffled, last season: you’re telling me Cara Dune, Alderaanian, had never heard of the Jedi? was she not keeping up with whatever Leia Organa was doing? was the Rebel Alliance actually big enough that PEOPLE IN IT HADN’T HEARD OF LUKE SKYWALKER?

what...is Luke doing right now. isn’t he training Leia?

WHAT HAS AHSOKA BEEN DOING FOR TEN YEARS are we seriously supposed to believe she peaced out of the Rebel Alliance after Malachor and whatever the hell they’re going to make that out to be (honestly at this point I’m betting on “they will never touch it”)

does or does Ahsoka not know that Luke exists

hoo boy can you just see them trying to cast a younger Luke, or do you think they’d CGI de-age Mark Hamill?

oh yeah let’s go through this again in a season with someone else playing young Luke, let’s, I’m not emotionally invested in that so I’m prepared to be entertained

hasn’t Sebastian Stan been floated (even if just on Twitter) for young Luke?

why are these not-imperials on this planet. what are they doing here. what’s the point.

 why is the planet...being burned? I was half-expecting, like, normal deforestation (in terms of logging for lumber) but I’m also a bit ??? about this.

since when is beskar resistant to lightsabers, I thought cortosis was the only thing that was? whatever, it’s new canon, they can do whatever they want. (ETA: apparently that’s been true for a while; I am more a Jedi person than a Mandalorian one as far as the EU goes and my Mandalorian lore is my weakest point.)

dear god were these fight scenes bad

I did spot Morai and I appreciated the tookas

okay, I am taking the next thing out of bullet points because I was really, really upset by it, and as an Asian-American woman it affects me directly.

I was really, really shaken by the use of village of (space) Asian people who were portrayed solely as background victims to be tortured and exploited.  Star Wars has a long history of Orientalism, and some of it I can look away from and some of I can’t.  Mando especially has a very bad track record with its treatment of Asian characters (Fennec Shand), and in recent years the rest of Star Wars live action has also been pretty bad about it; I will never forget how shaken and upset I was by Paige Tico’s death at the beginning of TLJ, and Rose’s sidelining in TROS was a lot to deal with. There has also been some pretty appalling anti-Asian racism from the Mandalorian fandom that I have seen in regards towards casting rumors about Sabine (which brought me to the point of tears as recently as yesterday).

I had been braced for Rosario Dawson Ahsoka because it’s been rumored for so long, if never officially confirmed by Lucasfilm, and after they pulled the original VA for Leia from Resistance a few years ago (without ever making an official statement but it was after she made really dismissive statements during the Kavanaugh hearings) I was still really hoping they’d pull Dawson for the transphobic assault allegations, or that the rumors were false, or...something.  I was not expecting the way that they treated the Asian civilian population here.  I kept hoping that there was going to be something, and it’s like they kept almost going there with Governor Wing (you want to make either his name or his position clear in the actual episode, maybe?) but then kept pulling back, which just made the whole population victims that had to be rescued by outsiders. And exploited, and tortured, and abused in general.

And yes, I’m aware the Magistrate/Morgan Elsbeth is an Asian-American woman.  That doesn’t make it better?  Since Ahsoka presumably kills her offscreen?

(Also Diana Lee Inosanto is a stunt performer and a fight choreographer, why is that fight scene so wooden, damn.)

okay back to bullet points to wrap up

I realize I haven’t said much about Din and the kid and that’s because they didn’t...do...much? I guess if you’re actually invested in them “YAY HE HAS FEELINGS” is a major thing but I’m not

I have flashes of being invested in Din, but the problem is that I never know what the hell this show is doing because it’s all over the place.  We are 5/8 of the way into season 2 and I have no idea what it’s trying to do: they keep setting stuff up and then not doing anything with it. I can make vague predictions based on what’s set up and based on my knowledge of canon, but this show is so weirdly set up and paced that I can never tell if they’re something for A Reason, for the lulz, or for the Aesthetic.

I feel extremely vindicated by the revelation a few weeks ago that Din grew up in a cult but I also straight-up feel like I spent the past year being gaslighted about what Mandalorians were, and that’s...not a great feeling. Do I think that the show is going to do anything with that? Fuck, I don’t know. I hope so. I know what I’d do as a writer. But I can’t predict anything they’re doing and that makes me really uneasy.

jeez, at least when George Lucas was making Star Wars you knew he was doing it to entertain himself and tell a specific story rather than constantly having to go back and wonder what story lines got compromised for a project down the road.

like, is this why they did mo-cap Ahsoka in S7, to brace us for live action Ahsoka here? I know they had already filmed Mando S2 before S1 came out. WHY THEY DIDN’T THEY REUSE LAUREN MARY KIM AS AHSOKA’S STUNT DOUBLE THEN? it’s not like she hasn’t stunted in Mando before?

if this was supposed to be a backdoor pilot to a Rebels sequel...I will flip a table

I enjoyed the Bad Batch eps in TCW S7 but knowing that there’s going to be a Bad Batch show I’m now wondering if they’re only in S7 to backdoor pilot that show

how far back does this go? did they put the Legacy of Mandalore story line in Rebels S4 solely to set up for this? especially considering that that’s the one thing in S4 that actually has saga weight and then they immediately got rid of everything it accomplished to set up for this?

I presume that this is the reason they refused to release the turnaround for Ahsoka’s epilogue look two years ago. apparently it doesn’t matter given they changed her entire epilogue color scheme and also her lekku and personality.

Look -- at the end of the day, there was only about a 2% chance I was ever going to like this episode, but I was holding out for it nevertheless. I do get surprised from time to time! I liked the Bo-Katan episode! This was, however, a hot mess. And yes: a lot of the things that bother me are not going to bother other people. (I haven’t seen anyone comment on the Asian villagers, for example.)

[mst3kproject]

The Monster of Piedras Blancas

At some point I realized that I'd done an awful lot of fishman movies on this blog, so I decided I needed a tag for them.  I chose #it's beginning to look a lot like fishmen, after a rather amusing musical version of The Shadow over Innsmouth that you can find on YouTube.  Most of them are less fun than said video, and this one very much so.  It qualifies itself for MST3King by featuring Forrest Lewis from The Thing that Couldn't Die, Don Sullivan from The Giant Gila Monster, and Jeanne Carmen from Untamed Youth.

Some lonely people feed the birds or stray cats in their neighbourhood. The lighthouse keeper of Piedras Blancas doesn't have any of those, so he feeds the fish monster that lives below the rocks.  As long as he does this, it only occasionally kills people when they wander into its territory, but trouble begins when the grocer fails to save enough meat scraps to satisfy it.  Soon the hungry beast is lopping heads off right and left and draining the bodies of blood!  The local constable thinks he may have a homicidal maniac on his hands, but marine biologist Fred identifies a shed scale at the scene as belonging to a Diplovertebron, a beast thought to be long-extinct.

Diplovertebron is an actual creature with its own Wikipedia article and everything. According to said article, it was a lizardy sort of a thing that lived in what is now the Czech Republic three hundred million years ago, and was around half a meter long.  It's a very obscure and not terribly threatening animal, and I have a hard time imagining why the writers chose it, of all extinct creepy-crawlies, to be their monster's ancestor.  It doesn't even have a very interesting name. 'Diplovertebron' is quite technical-sounding and has too many syllables to roll nicely off the tongue.  Why not pick something that at least sounds scary?

The Monster of Piedras Blancas is a bloated, sedate movie.  It knows that movies need breaks between the actiony bits... but its actiony bits have no real action, and the talky scenes it inserts to space them out are deathly dull and contribute almost nothing.  There's a bit where two characters discuss a victim's time of death in great detail, taking into account things like a spilled bottle of ink, that would have reduced Joel to tears.  It almost becomes a joke when Fred and the Doctor discuss the minutiae of Diplovertebron scales, while the constable sits there growling impatiently at them.  When even your characters think the movie is too slow, you have a problem.

Everything that might possibly be exciting takes place off-screen.  This is fine and even expected during the 'building suspense' parts – of course we don't see the deaths of the fishermen or the grocer. The bit where we first see the entire monster, when characters open a walk-in fridge and it lumbers out holding a severed head, is honestly pretty well-done.  After that, however, we should finally get to see some monster-eating-people scenes... but since this is yet another stupid rubber fishman suit a la the She-Creature, all it's actually capable of is slapping a few guys and then fleeing.  It supposedly kills a couple of gun-toting rednecks, but the fight happens elsewhere while the audience watches Fred and the doctor fart around in a cave.  We don't see the monster again until it inevitably kidnaps the lighthouse-keeper's cute daughter at the climax.

The severed head is pretty plasticky and looks nothing like the guy it supposedly came from, but an effort was made and I respect that. There are veins sticking out the bottom of it and a really creepy bit where we find it in the monster's lair with crabs crawling over it.

As the movie draws closer to its climax, the men in the town sit down and have a good think about how they're going to defeat it. They know they can't overpower it, and it seems to be reasonably intelligent, so they've decided they're going to have to outwit it. Their big plan for doing so is... throw a net over it.

I expected this to fail spectacularly, but what actually happened was even dumber.  I will not spoil the last thirty seconds of this movie for you, because it's funny as hell, but let's just say that fishmen are like pumas – if you ever meet one in real life, you can just push it the hell over.

As you might have guessed, Lucy is only in this movie so that she can be saved from the monster and can kiss Fred as the words the end appear on the screen.  The only interesting thing about her is a brief moment of stunning misogyny.  She comes running to the doctor to tell him her father has had an accident and needs help – and before going to do so, the doctor makes Lucy take a sedative. Her behaviour was not in any way hysterical or unreasonable.  A little reassurance would have done the job just fine!

This scene suggests that the townspeople don't think very highly of Lucy, and there are other bits that tell us she's probably supposed to be at least ten years younger than twenty-nine-year-old actress Jeanne Carmen.  On the other hand, they seem to think she's capable enough to look after her injured father alone and with only a locked door to protect her from the marauding monster.  Then again, if they didn't, it couldn't carry her off to be menaced.  Yet again, a movie's leading lady is a plot device rather than a character.  This seems particularly true of fishman movies.  Think of the Creature from the Black Lagoon series.

As I mentioned upfront, I have seen a lot of fishman movies.  This is the fifteenth since this blog's inception!  I thought there were a lot of bigfoot movies around, but if you check the tags you'll see that fishmen outnumber him two to one!  This brings up an interesting question – namely, why?

Why fishmen? Sea Monsters have a long and fascinating history that includes not just the classic serpent and kraken but such things as savage merpeople, scaly pig-fish covered with eyes, and according to one sixteenth-century map, very large Yorkshire terriers.  Then along came the 1930s and the popularization of the Loch Ness Monster as plesiosaur, opening up the range to prehistoric sea beasties.  Why not one of those?

I'm guessing the answer is 'because they're expensive'.  Those would require puppets and stop motion and other special effects.  A guy in a costume is much cheaper to build and operate.

Okay, but even if you have to restrict yourself to human-shaped monsters, there are plenty of those, too!  There's the aforementioned merpeople, but also vampires, werewolves, zombies, mummies, and their ilk!  Dracula and Frankenstein are both in the public domain!  And make no mistake, people have made lots of movies about those... but they have also made a whole lot of movies about fishmen!  Why fishmen?

The answer, most likely, is that Creature from the Black Lagoon came out in 1954 and it was huge, being one of those movies that requires an entire separate Wikipedia article for its cultural impact!  The tidal wave of other fishman movies that followed it are like the glut of monster-on-a-spaceship movies that followed Alien, or the fad for teenage slasher movies in the 1980s, or those cheaply animated direct-to-DVD movies that cluster around every Disney and Dreamworks release.  A fishman movie had made money, and now everybody was lining up to milk the scaly, mucus-coated cash cow!

That was a terrible mix of metaphors right there.  Yuck.

There's also something uniquely horrifying about one of the genre's major tropes – the fishman's interest in human women.  This, too, began with Creature from the Black Lagoon but as we've seen it carried over into other films – Bog and Creatures from the Abyss are notable examples (and then there's The Shape of Water). In The Monster from Piedras Blancas this idea is present in that the monster kidnaps Lucy instead of just killing her like it did every other human it met, but it's not emphasized the way the monster's interest in Kay was in Black Lagoon. Fish are proverbially cold and slimy, and the idea of sexual contact with one is almost reminiscent of necrophilia unless you have some very specific interests (see previous parentheses).  The fishman's lack of genitals make it that much more disturbing.

So now that we've sorted that out, my final question about fishman movies is this: could a fishman beat bigfoot in a fight? They're both big, broad-chested creatures that movies like to outfit with claws, teeth, superhuman strength, and bad tempers.  I think it would depend on where the battle happened.  If they're in the water, then the fishman has a clear advantage – bigfoot can drown.  If they're on land, things are a little more even.  The fishman's slime would make him difficult to hang onto, but if his gills dry out he'll have a hard time breathing.  Bigfoot's fur gives the fishman something to yank, but his large feet make him hard to knock down.  It might depend on whether or not the fishman is venomous.

Why hasn't anybody made that movie?  Picture it – dozens of fishmen swimming upstream to spawn, and bigfoot dragging them out of the water to eat like bears with salmon!  I'd absolutely pay for exorbitantly expensive theatre popcorn if it meant I got to see that on screen!

[oneshots4u]

GUESS WHO FUCKIN WROTE SOMETHING AGAIN???????? Me xox

I’m super into gang/mob Harry rn so I wrote this as part of a little blurb series 🥺🥺🥺

STRIPPER Y/N and GANG LEADER HARRY (who owns the club obviously) have been dating for about 6 months. He loses his temper with her when tensions in the gang are mounting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You glanced at the clock as the last customers left the bar. 2.30am, an early finish. You opened the door to Harry’s office, smiling at the boys sitting in there.

“Harry, everyone’s gone,” your eyes landed on him. He was at the big leather chair behind a giant mahogany desk. The room was dim and smelled like whisky. He didn’t lift his eyes from his computer, forehead set in a deep frown.

“Okay, darling. Thank you for tonight,” he dismissed you as if you were just any of the other girls. He didn’t even sneak a glance at you standing in your lingerie. Did he forget you’d made plans tonight? Your smile faded slightly, but you just nodded and backed out of the room, sensing he was a little busy.

You changed out of your stage attire and makeup into your jeans, an oversized t shirt and converse, before going back out into the bar. It was completely empty now, even the bar staff had finished cleaning and counting up and had left. You glanced at the clock again: 3.10.

You knocked on the door of the office softly, before opening it and sticking your head in. Everyone was still sat there.

“Hello guys,” you smiled. They all nodded back. “Just to let you know, the bar staff have all left. We’re good to go whenever.” Harry always liked to be the last to leave, but often had to be told when this was as he was cooped up in his office for a lot of the night. This time, he gave you a fleeting glance, nodding curtly. You took this as your cue to leave. Why was he being so weird with you tonight?

You retreated back to the dressing room and sat on the couch, scrolling through your phone to kill some time. You didn’t even realise you’d fallen asleep until your eyes were opening again. Sunlight streamed through the frosted window of the large dressing room. The clock read 5.25am. You rubbed your eyes, exhaustion overwhelming. The level of tiredness you felt was enough to make you want to cry, and your aching muscles protested when you forced yourself up to go to the office once again.

You pushed open the door.

“Harry, is it time to head-“

“Oh would you just fuck off, y/n?!” Harry shouted across the room. All of the men froze. Your eyes widened, mouth slightly agape. You blinked slowly, before simply turning and leaving the room, head hung.

“Mate, do you not think that was a bit harsh?” Niall asked. Harry rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to his computer.

“Yeah, I’m not gunna lie Harry, that was a bit uncalled for,” Louis continued, leaning back in his chair to look through the open door to see if you were hovering outside. You weren’t. Harry still didn’t respond, but he softened. The door of the main entrance of the club opened and closed quietly.

“It’s been a really stressful week, guys,” Harry eventually tried to defend himself.

“A stressful week doesn’t mean you take it out on her though. She doesn’t know what’s going on. All she knows is you stay in this room all fucking day then leave her to get home alone when her shift finishes.” Liam was angry at him, and wasn’t trying to hide it.

You’d grown very close to his men since Harry had opened up to you about what he did and who they all were a couple months ago. They’d even have some meetings at Harry’s while you were there, and they didn’t mind you walking in in your pyjamas to make a tea or grab a snack. They DEFINITELY didn’t mind when you came over with something you’d baked that morning. This also meant they were more protective of you. To them, you were one of the gang now, even though Harry would never officially let you join. Whenever you were on the club floor selling drinks, dancing on stage, doing lap dances, one of them was always watching. You’d noticed that whenever someone was particularly disrespectful they’d be removed instantly. They protected you from the creeps in the bar, they stopped the bouncers from hitting on you, they even would watch you get into your car and leave if Harry wasn’t driving you, so if they had to protect you from their boss, they would.

“She can’t keep fucking bothering me!”

“Why not? Because you won’t talk to her about work so she doesn’t actually know you’re stressed out?” Harry was stumped with that one. “Mate, you need to use your brain. She’s got no idea why you just shouted at her. She’s got no idea about the threats or the cancelled shipments. All she knows is her boyfriend is acting like a dick. Go find her and apologise.” Liam borderline demanded. Harry glanced at his watch and had to do a double take. It was 5.30?! You’d finished work three hours ago and had stayed around for him, and he’d thrown it back in your face. Sighing and running a hand through his hair, he simply nodded and stood, picked up his jacket, and swept out of the club.

Driving home, he grew more and more frustrated. He realised all the things that he had done wrong, he couldn’t imagine how you felt. Of course, he didn’t want you involved in the gang in any sense, but you didn’t know a single thing they did, so how could you have known there had been threats on peoples’ lives this week? People had even been seen hanging around the club, checking it out, scaling it up. You couldn’t know, all you knew was your boyfriend had made your favourite food and you were gunna go back to his place after work for a cosy night. He prayed you’d gone to his house.

Throwing open the front door, Harry breathed an audible sigh of relief when his eyes landed on your handbag and shoes tossed to the side. You’d come home. He bounded up the stairs three at a time to come find you, but skid to a halt when he met you on the landing. You were holding a duffel bag. You’d been crying. Slowly, you placed the bag on the floor and looked up at him with a steely glare.

“Sweetheart,” Harry started toward you. “I’m so sor-“

“No!” You shouted, pushing him away from you harshly. His jaw dropped. “No, you don’t just give me a hug and apologise to me and assume everything will be okay!” Tears welled in your eyes and you wiped them away furiously. Harry was taken aback. “You can’t talk to me like that. You can’t treat me like that.” You sounded a lot more dejected now, resigned, tired. It was at this point Harry noticed the bags under your eyes. “You kept me up so late last night, and you knew I was working tonight.” He couldn’t stop the smirk creeping onto his face when he thought of what you’d been up to the night before. In a fit of pure rage, you threw the makeup bag in your hand at him. He dodged it.

“Okay! Okay, I’m sorry. It’s not funny. Carry on.”

“I just figured you needed some time away from me for a little bit. All of my stuff is here,” you explained, looking down at the bag you’d packed. “I can’t find my glasses, though, so if you see them can you-“ you were cut off by Harry snatching the bag from the floor and stalking back into his bedroom. “Harry!” You shrieked, following him. By the time you’d caught up, he had already taken out your toiletry bag and was unpacking it in the bathroom. His back was turned, but in the mirror you could see his expression. He looked angry, he looked hurt. Slowly, you came up behind him, placing a hand on his back. His fingers were trembling when he placed your toothbrush back beside his.

“Harry, talk to me,” you whispered, sensing something deeper was at play here.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, still turned away from you. “I didn’t- didn’t know what time it was. Shit’s been so bad lately. I really didn’t mean to lash out at you, darling.” You sighed. You wanted to forgive him, but he had lashed out so easily. Noticing your hesitation, he turned around to finally look at you. He looked pained. “Please don’t go,” he whispered, voice cracking. “I know I hurt you. You don’t have to forgive me, but please stay.” Honestly, you were shocked at you emotional he was. This man, this huge, tattooed, mysterious man with a gun strapped to his hip, was almost in tears over you.

“Okay,” you whispered. “I’ll stay.” Harry’s shoulders relaxed at this.

“Can I touch you?” He asked quietly. You nodded, a small smile creeping onto your lips. Instantly, you were swept up in a bone-crushing hug, feeling Harry’s face buried into your neck. He inhaled deeply, sounding a little shaky. You reached up to scratch his scalp in the way he loved, and heard him mumble an “I love you.”

You froze.

So did he.

“What?” You asked. Harry pulled away to look at you, a small smile making his dimples show. “Harry, what did you just say?”

“I said “I love you”,” he replied casually, in full confidence. His arms moved to hang around your hips. You could physically feel your heart fill with joy.

“I love you too,” you replied, leaning up to kiss him. He kissed you back feverishly, passionately. This kiss held every emotion you’d both felt for the past hour, it was tender and understanding. It connected you. Without you even realising, tears had begun to spill from your eyes. Harry pulled away quickly, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs.

“What’s wrong, darling?” You sniffled deeply.

“I’m sorry I shouted at you, and pushed you, and threw my makeup bag at you,” you whimpered. Harry giggled quietly.

“I deserved it, don’t be silly. Now, I believe I owe you dinner,”

“It’s 7am,”

“I cooked you dinner, so let’s have dinner for breakfast,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DOES ANYONE WANT A PART 2????? WHERE HE ~really~ MAKES UP FOR IT? 😏😏😏😏😏