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theangrypokemaniac · 2 years ago

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Woo, Swite! Thanks for the response!

About time we had some quality back-and-forth discussion on here, 'cause I ain't got nowt to get me teeth into these days.

It's feckin' dead, man!

Every time I search for Team Rocket stuff I get posts about bloody Formula One!

Anyway...

Part Three 2.0

Joobee's Revenge!

I'm somewhat confused, if you don't mind.

You say I should understand Rocketshipping was always unlikely to work given this is a cartoon, and isn't supposed to be realistic.

Well wasn't anime marketed to Western audiences as animation with intelligence and emotional depth?

Pokémon took relationships seriously enough when they pictured Misty having Ash's daughter, so why should Jessie and James be any different?

Yet you also make a valiant defence of Training Daze, particularly them splitting up during the bike gang, parting in general, and not recognizing one another, on the basis that such elements are realistic, and thus deserve credit.

But, which is it then?

In any case, I don't want realism, or whatever passes for it, anywhere near Pokémon.

A fantasy show, by definition, must remain as far removed from us as possible.

Else it's shit.

Yet people are still people, and will act like people do, so I only ask for it to be believable, based on established personalities, and remain coherent within the laws of its own universe.

Canon is one of the most important aspects of fiction for me.

Soon as they start rewriting the past, implying whatever they've deleted was crap and I should immediately transfer my allegiance to their great art, which they'll get rid of too in good time, then the spell is broken, I'm pulled from that world and can no longer enjoy it as I did.

As if they don't care, then why should I?

Accept it once, and there is no canon, nothing concrete to base one's thoughts and ideas upon, because any of it could go now.

So what's left to love?

Now let me examine these three matters:

I truly abhor the split-up episodes for being obvious, formulaic and lifeless.

Week after week Team Rocket blast off, but it's all forgotten by the next installment; setting it up for the same thing to happen again.

I don't mind that sort of repetition, providing the writing adds a little variety (which it rarely does) as it's in the framework of the series.

What I object to is when the day-by-day experience is suddenly IMPORTANT.

I can't believe Jessie, James and Meowth are conveniently worn down by constant disappointment when there's been no hint of any such feeling.

Hoenn onwards is ephemeral: the figures within each adventure haven't had those recent losses because everything resets for the next go and leaves us paddling in shallow waters.

If not, when we reach the Split, then suddenly, stuff they shrugged off without a word before takes place again, and NOW it breaks 'em, simply because this is a Split-Up Episode and so it must do.

No foreshadowing, no slight digs or building tension, nothing that tells you these three have been pushed to the brink.

Nah. They were fine yesterday and they'll be fine tomorrow, but today the plot wants a reaction.

And the triggering incident in question, the one which, remember, is so brutal it (briefly) changed the course of their lives, occupies about one minute of screen time in order to leave room for whinging.

It won't even look as bad as the usual losses, yet it's that causing the rift, i.e. Team Rocket are a bunch of moaning melts who can't take a little hardship now and again.

Feeble tantrums no doubt fit the manufactured situation, but I can't think of it as 'realism' when said 'trauma' also gives out absurd cartoon injuries.

Being blown hundreds of feet in the air, crashing to earth, and walking away unharmed isn't true to life, so how can the exact same sequence be unreal AND realistic?

So if they get over all the physical damage blasting off does them, they can also ignore any supposed secret mental anguish too, 'cause I don't wanna see it.

These farces often constitute The Team Rocket Episode, the single indulgence we're graciously alotted once per series.

And sometimes once per era.

Meaning we sit there, waiting for a decent amount of coverage, and all we get is the smug, simpering slop they served up last time.

And we've gotta be grateful for this?

I suspect the crew just didn't know how to make the most of them without Shudo, and so like Brock, they were kept in merely for fear of what the backlash would be.

But it's sad to think they had such little attachment to Team Rocket they saw no potential in the characters as they were, and decided undermining them instead with lazy 'drama' was the way to go.

Yet this mini-genre of wangst is defined by one insurmountable problem:

Status quo.

You know they won't split up.

I know they won't split up.

Everyone knows they won't, because the show's structure can't let it happen, and definitely not mid-region.

From the outset, it's clear that this is a pointless charade, and nothing will come of it.

It will never be mentioned again, or have even a feather-press impact on the greater whole.

It might as well not exist for all the meaning it has.

Yet they did it anyway.

Going in to these narrative dead-ends means entering a realm of mustard gas where the only severance round here is down the audience's brain.

On one side, we're expected to be gripped by the 'very human' storyline, tears in our unworthy eyes at the sight of beloved souls rent asunder by cruel circumstance, before that triumphant final flourish where they're all back together again and everything's right with the world once more.

On the other, well don't take it seriously or anything and actually be enraged at the very idea of breaking up the friendship.

Steady on, flower. You've seen this one before.

Repeatedly.

You should spot the ending a mile off.

There's a irritating double-standard around Pokémon where you're only allowed to take plots to heart on condition it inspires nothing but torrential gluts of praise and weeping reverie.

But if you absorb it all, and boil from the inside out, then whoa there, It's Just A Kids' Show.

Calm Down.

And it's strange reading objections to Galar's contributions, particularly the last one, coupled with immediate backtracking of how oh it was different in Hoenn and Sinnoh as those rows had better build-ups and, vitally, pay-offs.

To whom I say:

Well so what?

Who cares how they sold it to you?

If you accepted Team Rocket fragmenting before your eyes, you accepted it, and thereby permitted everything worse to come.

No one minds the splitting in itself; people are simply annoyed these degradations weren't wrapped up in warm fuzzies and 'shippiness' in compensation.

Waaaaah! The poison tasted like honey before and now it tastes like poison!

I want my honey-flavoured poison back!

Nope. No need to bribe viewers with feelz now we're at the end.

I however hate splitting them up on principle, because I resent how it demeans their original iron-clad bond to some shrugging mundane acquaintancy no deeper than a piss streak.

And just as attractive.

When Pokémon was written as a one-region special (which is all up to and including The Breeding Centre Secret), Team Rocket went through failure after failure after failure, but nevertheless stuck it out, whereas now they're off after the mildest inconvenience.

So in the old way, it's the message that's there's always hope.

No matter how far you fall, and no matter how bad it gets, your mates are gonna be right there with you.

Never doubt it, not for one second.

Now don't say that. If you were worthless, why would they still be here?

'Cause whatever happens, they've got your back.

In a life of chaos, one comforting surety anchors you to home.

But in the Nu?

Well too bad, sunshine.

If you fall, you'll keep on falling, 'cause there's gonna be no one there to catch you.

Friends? You thought you had friends?!

What, you? As if!

Don't think so, love. Not with your face.

Yeah, it's all fun and games in the good times but enjoy 'em while they last 'cause they'll be off soon as the going gets tough.

Alone again, are we? Told yer.

But cheer up, Chuckles. Turns out anyone who'd hang round with you is too disgusting to make it in polite society.

They'll be back once that better life without you doesn't work out.

And look on the bright side:

You can leave them next time.

...

It's just depressing.

When it comes to the younger Jessie and James going their separate ways, I must state from the outset that I am extremely resistant to the notion.

It's not your fault, but by now I associate defending Training Daze with treating PoCo as a ravenous heathen god demanding appeasement with daily virgin sacrifices else the sun won't rise in the morning.

I am tired of the mindset that we should justify their blunders to ourselves, and stamp out any minor objections to their reign of terror, even when they're in our own heads!

I've seen this in other fandoms: the mass goes along in mindless niceties, ignoring the obvious, then one kid breaks rank with 'the King is naked' and immediately it's panic stations and mustering the Borg to crush resistance.

IT DEFIESSSS USSSS! IT MUST KNOW PAIN!!!

There's two modes of attack:

1. Flat-out shameless lying that there IS references to the past, and you're just too stooooopid to see What It All Really Means.

Yeah. Amazing how they never prove that with time stamps or screenshots of those very many mentions of Chopper and Tyra or all the 'remember when' conversations between Jessie and James.

I mean, you just can't move for the flashbacks in this episode.

2. Scratting round for any reasonable-sounding (to them) explanation, and then pushing it that oh well, it might have been this way, it feasibly could've taken place as it abides by the laws of gravity.

And if it could happen, it DID. Now shut up.

The usual line is the 'they had an argument', which I'm supposed to entertain like a decent counter-offensive, when there's no bloody evidence for it!

Meanwhile I, who hate Splits, am utterly perplexed to see it's now such a popular trope folk insist on inventing more incidents of it, because we just haven't had enough o' that.

Apparently.

This would be a bigger deal if a childhood friend was on his deathbed.

You suggest they parted to follow their own aspirations, but what law-abiding dreams do they have?

These days Jessie's made to fixate on anything remotely 'girly' that turns up, particularly if it involves rampant exhibitionism, but back in the Indigo League she wanted to be in Team Rocket above all, so I can't envision what got in the way.

Unless Training Daze retconned so much that Contests now Were Always There, and so she joined the circuit, but then why leave?

For James, as we both said, what ambitions does he have in the first place?

This fandom treats him like an undeveloped man-baby who can barely feed himself, and pushes the line that he's nevvah done a single bad fing in his pweshush ickle life.

Then why the hell's he in Team Rocket?!

The only way I can see someone of his background ending up in these circles is if Jessie influenced him, and she went as it's in the blood, which I doubt has applied for a very long time but there you go.

I keep coming back to the same issue:

If this is meant to fit with Kanto, why don't they show it?

How can the only possible way of linking it to the past be making up our own excuses, with no speech or quote backing it up, instead of asking the writers responsible to do it?

There would be something, say James does an action and Jessie stops in her tracks as it reminds her of a boy she used to know, followed by a past scene of two kids playing together, before she confronts him with it.

But there isn't!

There is nothing there, and I don't understand why we must keep up this rancid façade.

But it is interesting that so much effort is put into insisting this one works, when plenty of other retcons abound yet don't elicit a similar reaction.

Presumably it's as they don't blatantly override canon, and so there's a sense of plausible deniability saving the day, whereas Training Daze is quite brazen, and needs defending.

So the more it's done, the more I know they're covering for it, as it wouldn't require all this hyperventilating propaganda to sell it otherwise.

I'm getting the impression you dislike the biker element, and even doubt its existence.

I suppose when the wider world's an almost adult-free landscape of feral kids running wild after their parents abandoned them, a few banding together to form a gang for safety and support isn't out of the question.

I also see you don't care for Jessie and James knowing one another in youth, as you view the trio as crucial, and so two sides of the triangle connecting previously would... diminish that, in a sense?

That's where we differ, because I want it.

Jessie and James are often allied against Meowth in the early Indigo League, treating him as a cheeky interloper who thinks he can order them about thanks to his role as Boss's lapcat.

They clearly aren't best buds fresh from qualifying as a team, which is something else Training Daze got wrong, and so besides what canon says, I can only rationalise that dynamic if Jessie and James have a pre-existing bond which Meowth is eased into over the series.

You can adore a pet as soon as you get it, but human beings take years to accumulate proper trust, so whilst I could accept loving Meowth on sight, I can't believe in Jessie and James platonically unless they come replete with a long-standing history.

It's only after Training Daze reconfigured their relationship as of a much more recent vintage that the Splits come thick and fast, as if that was a necessary re-write to sell separation, which tells me it really did rub the past out.

Hoenn Jessie's been through at least ten partners, so Viper's gonna be delighted at pairing her off with an old pal, as FINALLY he's found a fella she gets on with.

It ain't getting any worse, is it?

We'd need a scene of her reacting to James, before signalling for him to play along, followed by an awkward reunion conversation, if she intended to keep their previous life quiet.

As for initial unfamiliarity, Indigo Jessie recognised James from his above missing poster, via a photograph taken before they met.

As does Meowth, and the Twerps, because he hasn't changed a bit!

So how would she not know him after only a few years?

Pokémon Tech. comes before the bike gang.

During Holy Matrimony! James mentions running away from school to join them.

The system puts pupils in the Pokémon League without Badges, and, given Joe is about Ash's age, first-years would be ten years old.

Whilst Big Jess and Little Jim are at least in their early teens, and no different to how they look now, thus this must be closer to the present day, with much less of a gap in the timeline than the purported decade.

Petty thieves mooching on the streets aren't in a position to even sit the entrance exam, nevermind afford the fees.

As in, James's parents sent him there, and I have my own theories on Jessie.

In Red, Blue, and Yellow, all the Biker and Cueball Trainers are portrayed as a threat, with some swearing allegiance to Team Rocket, so The Bridge Bike Gang is a reference to that.

Joining up impresses Chopper and Tyra, so whatever low-level criminality Jessie and James were doing then sounds entirely in keeping with their later career.

In fact, it'd be the gateway to greater law-breaking.

Every agent had to start somewhere and slowly slide into worse, for I don't imagine any went from honest, upstanding fellows to Mafia membership overnight.

This is original canon, the backstories invented with them, meaning Jessie and James were designed with this in mind, or vice versa, so it can't be anything other than true to their personalities, not like some nonsense spun up a decade or more after.

This is just scratching the surface and even then it won't fit on one screenshot.

Training Daze also negates Jessie and Cassidy's early friendship, preferring to show it as nothing better than boring and baseless bitchiness right from the start.

God forbid Jess should actually get on with other girls.

Although The Breeding Centre Secret isn't canon anymore either, so maybe neither is their once-good relationship.

We're supposed to rejoice in seeing Cassidy and Butch again because of these previous appearances and yet not care when said installments are rendered null and void.

It even destroys Meowth's history!

He started off as 'top cat' but a few early Indigo failures combined with an out-of-sight-out-of-mind situation saw Persian taking his place as the Boss's beloved pet.

Therein lies Meowth's motivation for all the desperate scheming to come, and also imbued his story with an underlying tragedy, when you consider he's just a little animal who wants his master to love him again.

And I can well believe it. Feline jealousy is something else.

But according to Training Daze, Persian was always Giovanni's companion, with Meowth sidling up much later, so Persian's gone from villainous usurper to practically the innocent victim defending his home, and Meowth's a creeping scumbag trying to ruin another cat's life.

Indigo canon thus said the Boss initially prized Meowth above all else, whereas discarding him was a sure sign of his truly cold nature, and the least deserving of the loyalty he so inspired.

Now, Giovanni's the decent one, sticking to his old friend without a flicker of temptation.

These days he doesn't so much as like Meowth, 'phoning for help to get rid of him!

And I'm not surprised when Meowth made a prat of himself for all of the time he was there.

Thus in ONE episode, Team Rocket are so badly downgraded their entire foundations are shifted into much lesser territory, with childhood friends 're-imagined' as complete strangers, and Meowth no longer an incredible rarity anyone would be proud to own, but some clingy pest pushed on to the nearest sap at the first opportunity.

I know, I know, dub vs sub.

It still doesn't flow.

But even without these numerous affronts, and judged solely on its own merits, I don't understand what all the fuss is about.

It's so forced and empty, a rushed re-write skimming the surface, with no depth, logic or explanation to everything that's going on.

We're offered 'pre-franchise canon', unfolding before it all began, which definitely wasn't made up years later.

(I'm pressed to go along with this pretence, which doesn't improve my opinion.)

Except it's so obviously a prequel, as in written with hindsight, where things happen simply because of what's in the present, nothing to do with how it's 'meant to be', or whatever cheesy message I should see.

Jessie starts off as some surly bitch ruining the chances of blameless individuals with her inexcusable bad attitude, so clearly she's the difficult one, but the Boss just keeps her on, no questions asked!

It can't be she's too good at the job to lose when she isn't even an operative yet, besides needing to be something special to warrant squandering ten or twelve others.

And this is from Hoenn, where she's thick as a brick, so it certainly isn't that.

Back when they joined Team Rocket together, Jessie and James were equally as prepared and trained to work in the field, where it's only natural they stayed paired up, else what'd be the point?

Here there's long list of previous colleagues Jessie's effed over to give a false idea she's waiting for something, and whaddya know, turns out it's James.

Now who could've predicted that?

But it's so transparent he's 'the right one' merely because he's who she's with in Pokémon, i.e. it's a foregone conclusion set in stone, which says nothing about James's abilities or inner value as a person.

Quite the opposite. If you take this as true he's borderline incompetent.

As Jessie's run through around a dozen team mates, she's trained with each of them and gained a lot of experience along the way.

Whereas James only does it once and near enough almost dies in the process.

Nu-Canon in consequence re-positions him no longer as Jessie's equal, but vastly inferior to her, someone she essentially took pity on and 'settled' for.

Oh, no! But...you see...she saw him be nice to Meowth.

Yes, that's just the kind of criminal mastermind she wanted.

And none of the previous partners had Pokémon they loved?

Not one ever mentioned what hopes and dreams they had for the future?

So even though Jessie dumped a plethora of earlier candidates the moment they put a foot wrong, she'll happily take James, who buggered up every task they had, and Meowth, who can't make a cup of tea without going arse over tit, simply because that's who we already know she took.

And I'm supposed to cry over this heavenly beauty?

True, plenty of heavily flawed episodes are out there.

But none of them get treated like the Second Coming of Jesus.

I'd also like to know why the flamin' Mafia is suddenly conducting itself like the S.A.S., weeding out recruits via assault courses and mountaineering.

Seems crime's that bad in Pokémon Land it's simply overrun with applicants.

Yeah. Don't bother teaching noobs how to use a gun, fix a machine, steal and fight.

Nah. What we need is sweating like a pig and hiking.

Even the Red Snorlax test involved legging it from collapsing floors and indoor tidal waves, as if that's what to expect in a normal jewel heist.

I know you like them completing physical challenges because to you it proves what Team Rocket became in Unova was what they always were, and therefore you say criticism of Gen. Five is illegitimate, but that's not what everyone else sees.

No one would remember if it weren't for That Scene, and even then, the amount of coneheads spouting about Jessie and James sharing a gene pool proves it hasn't lasted beyond its initial audience.

Although, with them, has anything?

On a side note, tracing their Unova selves back to Hoenn is an idea with which I both agree and disagree.

I've theorized that Jessie, James and Meowth were debased into weak morons in order to prepare the groundwork for Unova, by which time the hypothetical audience would be so tired of the cringing that they'd welcome The Serious Side with enthusiasm.

So went the plan. But one based on the presumed attitudes of the Genwunners the Hoenn-era production team knew about.

Yet by Unova's arrival, the Nu-Genner influx had watched eight years of fannying about, so for them that's who Team Rocket really were, hence why they're now infantilized as 'dorks' and 'nerds' with 'one brain cell', remarks you never saw during the Kanto and Johto period.

And there's no way of convincing them Unova's worth a look.

Where I disagree is that although there are hints of Unova in Training Daze, it has no relation to the Indigo League, an era it pissed all over and threw in the bin.

If the script disregards canon events, why should I trust its characterisation to be true to the past?

It's just so deflating to realize they have such a condescending view of the fanbase they know they can coast doing the bare minimum and we'll lap it up regardless.

Somehow it's cut it off from both the past and future, cancelled out with Noodles! Roamin' Off! pretending Chris was right there with 'em in the academy days, when no one had bloody seen 'im before.

It's Red Team uniforms for all three, meaning this takes place before they qualify, as in during Training Daze, and us pinhead viewers just forget they were a trio back then.

The second-most overrated episode has thus demolished the first.

Genius.

Best I can make of it is Chris is supposed to be that Joobee fella, and magically went from crook to straight businessman after supping on a Pot Noodle.

Oh aye.

Yet for that to work, I've gotta accept James is seriously worried about the career prospects of some bloke he's never seen before, with Jessie as concerned even though she didn't give a toss about his welfare and left him to his fate five minutes earlier.

Well, that and:

What about that Joobee lad? Let's give him a story.

Great idea! Hang on, do you remember what Joobee's name was?

No, I don't remember what Joobee's name was.

Let's call him Yusaku.

I hate this vacant, received-wisdom culture of piety surrounding it, where you must discuss it only in a hushed and reverential tone, NEVER doubting its shining holiness.

And if you're a Team Rocket fan, especially a Rocketshipping one, everyone assumes this shower o' shit MUST be your favourite episode.

NO!!!

I only watched it for completion's sake and I resented doing that.

The idea anyone could sit through it for enjoyment is beyond my comprehension.

If we lived in a just world, the general (and still generous) consensus would be:

Yeah, it's got its moments but you can't deny there's problems with the concept.

In which case I'd take a much more blasé attitude, but the relentless fawning tips me over the edge.

Have you ever been in the situation where the sheer overflow of suffocating adulation for worthless crap makes you despise it even more?

Well here I am!

Were a canon-compliant version to exist, where Jessie and James enrolled as friends, you can bet it wouldn't be anywhere near as popular.

The default setting is protect PoCo at all costs, hence the more empty and superficial it is, the more blather and puff we need to hide it, else someone might notice.

Otherwise I wish, I wish I could see the appeal, and exactly what warrants rabid hysteria, but I know if I asked it'll all boil down to That Scene, and it's not good enough.

(Of course, the great irony is that if Jessie and James knew one another before, collapsing like this would be a regular occurrence of kids larking about, and nothing out of the ordinary.

Whereas blushes and flustered embarrassment is the reaction of two strangers in an unfamiliar intimacy.)

I'm bombarded by wall-to-wall GIFs and clips until I'm sick of the sight of it, but nevertheless I thought it was nothing more significant than physical closeness, and no different to previous hugs and hand-holding.

Then you told me what it actually means, or is interpreted to mean...

And I hate it to even greater degree.

Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

I had no idea that's what it was.

Not an inkling.

Shows how naïve I am.

I've been skipping round this here fandom for the last four years whilst completely unware everyone else was dreaming up such a filth, and all without once warning me what was hunched up in the corner, just waiting to pounce.

What a liberty.

I'm telling yer, I feel this on a personal level.

And if the writers are prepared to indulge in seedy symbolism, I'm curious as to what what other messages they're sending.

This may not be so shocking in the Grand Scheme, but within the confines of post-Shudo Pokémon, it's certainly leaning on the boundaries of acceptability.

Is it then, a further coincidence that such daring implications come in the very episode where Jessie and James are stated to have just met, rendering any sort of... association between them no better than a cheap one-night stand?

Where the very scene so many shippers hold dear as confirmation merely wipes it over using a particularly soiled rag, tainting their relationship with rather tasteless implications?

There's no romance to that.

Nothing higher. Nothing pure.

It's just nasty.

Don't get me wrong. I love a bit of innuendo usually.

I wouldn't mind if it happened during the Indigo League. It suits the unhinged, anarchic atmosphere.

He's clearly touching her up in The Legend of Dratini, and it doesn't remotely bother me 'cause it's funny, besides their then-status as long-term pals, and, I would argue, as an item.

But there's something about the bland, bleached tone enforced since Hoenn, gaining ground with each generation, purposely watering the franchise down for kids and kids alone, and yet throwing up a scene like that, which even if not intended as such, is seen as smutty, that really doesn't sit well with me.

And that feeling ain't never gonna ease unless the heaving praise and inescapable hyper-fixation for less than two seconds of footage regurgitated again and again from screen to screen cools down.

When I first watched it I couldn't believe how brief it was in contrast to the frenzy generated, so realistically I think James falling on top of Jessie by accident is slinging shippers a bone, but isn't supposed to have any prurient connotations at all.

But they WILL see it, won't they?!

Again, in all likelihood it's an innocent blunder blown entirely out of proportion, and had I seen it long ago, when shielded from shippers, I'd have taken it in as wholly meaningless and wouldn't feel this way now.

But when instead I've suffered it after year upon year of drowning in other people's overwrought fantasies, where I am well aware of how it's received and how I'm expected to react, and now, even later, when I discover exactly what's projected on to it, what the writers intended is almost inconsequential.

All panic aside, why did they include a suggestive scenario only when the history justifying it had gone?

I agree with you somewhat regarding Rocketshipping.

Ash and Misty were always the canon couple, and endgame from the Mewtwo Strikes Back deleted footage, with Jessie and James at best a B-plot romance, but it grew in the collective imagination alongside Team Rocket's general popularity.

Yet if fans love something, which doesn't hurt the show, then I'd just go with it, considering the audience are only responding to hints they added anyway.

Except ever since Shudo left, I have the impression that no one in the writers' room really likes Team Rocket, or at least there aren't enough of them, because all their adventures from that day are predictably underwhelming, being either the insufferable split-up saga, or a supposed 'shippy' interlude that is extremely anti-shippy when examined properly.

I've known from Kalos they'd never have a happy ending, but now I see it'd been determined by Hoenn, hence why their shared past disappeared.

I mean, you wouldn't erase all that if you liked their characters, would you?

And it's been down, down, down, from that day on; Team Rocket switching to witless during Hoenn and Sinnoh, evil for Unova and Kalos, then witless and evil during Alola and Galar, trying to shake the shippers off.

But none of it worked, and by now Rocketshipping is such an enormous portion of the fandom writers are obliged to humour it once in a while, and managed to con plenty of people it was still possible right up until the end.

Training Daze and Noodles! aren't actually 'shippy', but the fans kidded themselves they were because they wanted them to be.

Hell, I bet they killed off this continuity and started from scratch in Paldea just to be free of us for good.

BUT...

Simply because they changed their minds later doesn't mean Jessie and James were never supposed to be together.

It's no good if they feign ignorance now and give it the old 'It Was Always This Way' speech, when they've deliberately led shippers on for years.

No one forced 'em to add That Scene to both Training Daze and Noodles!, the only purpose of which was precisely to stir up shrieking excitement and swooning fits.

If you call it The Origin of Love and Youth!, you are telling fans that Jessie and James are in love in the current series, and this is the origin story where it began, i.e. how they met.

It interesting the dub chose a joke name instead, perhaps because they'd seen the plot further down the line and knew Hoenn wouldn't deliver what it promised, so in that sense it's a more honest presentation.

Whilst it's a play on 'training days', I wonder if the 'daze' is also a nod to confusion, as in:

Eh? When did this happen?

Yet if the anime wasn't intending to finish with them married, then how was it supposed to end?

Come to that, how is it going to end now?

Unless Paldea tanks in the ratings I doubt we'll be seeing Team Rocket any time soon, and if we do, it'll be the same old routine, not the hoped-for farewell event.

It's entirely possible the writers don't plan on bringing them back, barring an emergency, and if so, what are we supposed to think happened to them?

• They left Team Rocket eventually, and settled down with absolute barrel-scraping, brown-haired non-entities who don't deserve it so good?

• They stayed with Team Rocket until death?

And if it wasn't a massive explosion taking 'em all out simultaneously, you gotta presume accident and infirmity took their toll until one was left to grow old and die alone.

Nice.

I maintain that, just as I know Team Rocket can't always have been evil because I've never liked a single evil character in anything (villains yes, but ones capable of redemption), and I started to dislike them only when they displayed genuine evil, there must have been something to Rocketshipping given I never ship anything without canonical permission.

If I like a piece of fiction, I respect the laws it lays down, and if they say two characters aren't attracted to one another, I accept this.

Not that I force myself not to feel it, more like shipping will never occur to me.

Plus I just can't be bothered investing time and emotion in a whim with no chance of coming true.

Also, given the colossal amount of Rocketshippers there's been across the years, to the level it invented shipping, there had to be some evidence to back it up.

By the same argument, although I'm loath to admit it, if so many younger fans believe Jessie and James to be brother and sister, there's got to be substance to that too.

After all, nothing in Alola and Galar says otherwise, suspiciously.

Since there's nowt doing round here, whenever I see these posts I shall ask where they got the idea from, as I want to know.

No response so far.

I do find the RAGE this provokes a good laugh though, when I'm quite laid-back about it.

For the most part.

I mean, I've heard worse.

There they go, poppin' an artery at the audacity of the kids not respecting canon.

And all I can think is:

But you luv Training Daze! You don't respect canon either!

What kind of example was that to set the little 'uns?

See? Ripping up the past was a-okay when they liked the result, but NOW it's different.

Perhaps the real question is why the rest of us are so adamant they aren't related.

Answer: they weren't when we were kids.

And we, against all available evidence and subsequent experience, idiotically assume some canon will remain intact.

Yeah. And when we were kids there was only one Mewtwo.

As for this picture...

What did they expect?

If it fooled the fandom, then who fooled 'em?

If you release an official image, sanctioned, stamped and signed off by Nintendo, sent out with approval from on-high, don't be surprised when fans believe what you say.

Are they really moaning people listened and took them at their word?

Well who's fault's that?

The Electric Tale of Pikachu might not be an exact adaption, but it was sold to children as all the same characters in manga form.

They knew full well what they were encouraging and did it anyway, so I'm not falling for this faux-bewilderment stunt, acting as if they can't imagine where such a notion began.

If it worried 'em so much they could've easily made their intentions plain, but they never did, across all the decades until it was over, knowing a hefty chuck of the audience would be out the door once they realised there was no point stopping.

I wasn't aware of this image until much later, but how much of the self-abasing servility PoCo's enjoyed is the now-grown shippers hanging on in there because of it, suppressing all criticism on the promise they'd get their way in the end?

And now said shills have served their purpose, Master's got the bloody nerve to turn round and deny there was any chance of romance in the first place.

Fookin' hair.

These hideous side-show freaks aren't Team Rocket, thus no stapled-on love confession would've meant anything to me.

I'm beyond their reach now.

But Anti-Ships from the early days were so repulsive, and for nothing else, I resent the smug bastards winning in the end.

PoCo know they could've pleased plenty of people with one quick scene, mostly their own cheerleaders, the type breaking their backs to pull 'em out of the pitfalls and plot holes they dug themselves, and STILL they wouldn't do it.

Fecking ingratitude, man!

You'd have thought they'd feel some appreciation for all this first-class grovelling, enough to grant one final hurrah, a single second telling 'em the last twenty-odd years of devotion was a life well spent.

But NO!!!

Once upon a time viewers complained about Tracey until Brock's exit was reversed.

Precisely what rewards has this latter-day arse-licking bonanza brought to the table?

Pokémon lacks a coherent narrative; there is no way every installment fits together given the wild inconsistencies.

Yet if you were to take it as such, you can say Ash has gone from rookie to World Champion, and so it was worth the effort.

Jessie, James and Meowth, meanwhile, started off as Team Rocket thieves trying to catch Pikachu, and finished as Team Rocket thieves trying to catch Pikachu.

Nothing's changed.

They're in the exact same job and exact same situation they were in the beginning, and gained the grand sum of sod-all from their time on the show, but lost everything instead.

So what was the bloody point?

I find it truly dispiriting, and, by now, predictable, how many self-declared fans really don't care about Pokémon at all.

No one's bothered about quality, or asks it to have an ounce of self-respect.

Nah. As long as it supplies those all-important hollow Feelz, then nothing (NOTHING) is off limits, no matter the damage it does.

If Jessie cut off James's head, PoCo simps would rush to go off wittering on Why This Needed To Happen, with the rest weeping over the 'shippy content' when she patted his corpse.

I wonder how much of this is a mass outbreak of The Emperor's New Clothes syndrome, which is quite sad in itself, but not nearly as pathetic as the hypnotic hold PoCo has over so many people.

And they just won't stop!

Between spinning the 'positives' for the finale, they're telling us to stay watching for probably another two decades up until the very, very, very, this-time-we-really-mean-it Last Ever Episode Evah, because THEN it'll all work out.

Piss off!

Then again, these false idols are a failing of many fandoms, and so whatever inspires it can't be anything The Pokémon Company have actually done, or, at least, they're not the only ones up to mischief.

I wish The Faithful would tell me why they're so compelled to defend the old lumbering fatberg, for all it may be an unrequited love, but no one will, as you can't rationalise the irrational.

So in conclusion, I love having something to write about.

Thanks again!

Part Three

Almost everything I forgot.

One of these days I'll get someone to explain the appeal of Training Daze.

Years I've been on Tumblr, YEARS now, and I've never known an episode so cradled and cooed over in a bizarre, lock-step frenzy of undiluted praise, as if we all agree it's a blessing upon mankind.

Even the great Holy Matrimony!, too good for this sinful world that it was, never got that kind of senseless adulation.

And God rest its sweet, sweet soul.

I almost suspect this constant deluge of non-criticism serves as a shiny veneer coating the rather insalubrious reality, conditioning the entire fandom to swallow what it's spooning.

Because if everyone says it's good, it MUST be, right?

Is it just another perfectly harmless coincidence that Hoenn, being the first region after Team Rocket's creator left, is also the one to wipe so much established history away?

1. Ash effectively starts all over again with no Pokémon, setting the pattern for every era to come.

2. The entire past of Jessie and James is flushed down the shitter, making their connection much more shallow and conditional.

Prior to this, we knew they'd bonded long before as children, and so joining a crime empire didn't change anything.

But now? Well, if they only met as members, that's all their relationship is based upon.

They might have nothing in common otherwise, with completely conflicting personalities.

I mean, we can't really know if they'd stay together in the real world, can we?

No indeed, and let's be realistic: why would two complete strangers even want to be together?

What, just because they happen to work on the same team, that means they're gonna get married?

Ah come on, that's a bit of a stretch.

I work with loadsa people. I didn't fall in love with any of 'em.

Look, kids. One of these days you're gonna have to accept that people can be Just Friends without deluding yourself imagining all sorts of romantic fantasies.

Yeah. Shipping them is so silly, when you really think about it.

The way her legs cover his belt gives the impression James is boasting some sort of Team Rocket onesie.

3. As part of this Brave New World, the Rocketshipping element all about disappears from the script.

At a push, you have The Bicker the Better and 'But Jessie, sweetheart', and that's it, in four series.

Five if you're counting the spin-off.

Compare that to no hugs, no hand-holding, Sweet Baby James and this hammer blow:

Max: And I thought you were just a nice old couple.

Jessie: No one's ever called us old!

James: An certainly NOT a couple.

Oh? I'm sorry. I didn't quite catch that heavy-handed 'hint'.

SEE KIDS HE DOESN'T WANT HER THERE IS NOTHING THERE STOP SHIPPING THEM RIGHT NOW IT'S ALL JUST YOUR IMAGINATION!!!

Interesting that it started off as James openly rejecting her, but later developed into Jessie barely tolerating him.

I wish I'd been in the fandom then.

I'd love to know how this mythos of Training Daze as a piece of perfect wonder gained ground in the old forums, fans welcoming such blatant disrespect with open arms.

Or how early PoCo shills silenced dissent.

Yeah, this does completely annihilate every fragment of Team Rocket lore that we loved and cherished.

Now here's why that's A Good Thing...

Well no, flower. You can have the Indigo universe or this atrocity.

Pick one.

Go on. Do it. Why is that an uncomfortable choice?

Why would anyone spare a moment for something so contemptuous of its own fanbase it feels able to tear up and trample upon the very characters we care about?

Eh, they might as well I suppose.

No-one ever answers back.

On the contrary, they'll rush to defend, excuse and celebrate every deliberate manoeuvre.

For example:

Oooooooh! But what about the title?

The sub is called The Origin of Love of Youth!, which, I grant you, sounds promising, but mere words papering over shameless actions are no good to anyone.

First, whilst I suppose the translation is flawed, I'm not sure how this can be an 'origin of youth', given Jessie and James no longer meet in childhood, and are instead as old as they ever will be.

As for an 'origin of love', they've got some bloody nerve, kicking off the most openly Anti-Shipping region by burning the heart out of it, before finishing with James declaring he'd sooner die than marry Jessie.

And Pokémon, more or less over now, ended with them STILL not together, with every sign in between telling us it would never happen anyway.

Exactly what 'love' began here?

I expect Training Daze was slipped into a side-series to contain a potential backlash, where it would all be quietly forgotten without overshadowing the rest of Hoenn.

That miracle unforthcoming, the crew were thus emboldened to insert their various affronts to public decency into the main run, so now you can just shut up and like what yer given.

Yet this chilly Year Zero apocalypse leaves a vast wasteland in its wake, coercing fans to gobble up whatever comes along to plug the gap.

Accept Training Daze, and I'll presume you believe Crossing Paths! out of necessity, meaning Jessie is essentially a wriggling pervert with revoltingly warped desires, and if she asks you to come down the cellar then don't you be going.

'Cause yer won't come back.

As for James, you can go two ways:

• Left home at ten — ?????? — Team Rocket.

• Left home recently, and thus spent his life with Jessibelle, settled and uncomplaining, but doing a bunk once she put the banns up.

Take the first road, and there's a chasm of mysterious blackness in his background that remains unfilled to this day, and now never will be.

But opt for the second, and James chucked Jessibelle after leading her on for years, pissing off as soon as she wanted commitment, and was therefore as cruel and faithless to her as Darren the Div was to Orange Jessie.

Well cheers, retcon!

Hang on. I'll see what I can do.

Every recollection James has is always of his time at home, where he's never any younger or older than his missing poster, as if all his memories come from one single year.

There's no proof he was there at a later date, but also none that he wasn't, since we never see him beyond that age.

So thanks to this bollocks, we now have live with Jessie being a depraved sicko chasing after snotty nerds (NERDS, MAN!!!) and James potentially mistreating women.

Hah! You don't wanna ship 'em now, do yer?

And you wonder why I hate canon balls.

OOOOOOOOOOOH!!! IT SO DOES FIT WITH CANON!!!

Oh really? Proceed.

...

...Um...

...WELL!...Well!...Well now.

See...what happened was...well OBVIOUSLY...they split up in the bike gang didn't they? And then... then they went...somewhere else...

AND THEN...then...they just so happened to join Team Rocket...at the exact same time.

HAH! SEE! SEE! IT DOES FIT!!!

The first rule of propaganda is that a lie told enough times becomes the truth by virtue of repetition.

But the way this is regurgitated to shield a multi-billion dollar franchise goliath like poor defenceless PoCo from criticism is truly humiliating, for all concerned.

You'd imagine it was a well-documented fact given how often its rolled out, not an obvious Cope driving me fookin' insane!

How can it be a continuation if the sub's calling itself an origin?!

They're using The Bridge Bike Gang to prop up a shitshow that erases it in the first place, meaning any 'evidence' the former provides can't even exist in this timeline.

Which doesn't matter, as there isn't any.

Nowhere in that adventure are Chopper or Tyra surprised to see them together, nor do Jessie and James make any reference to a separation.

In fact they've not a single unhappy memory of their time there.

And what kind of excuse opens more questions than it answers?

Believe it, and they both left the gang in a huff, disappeared off the earth for an unknown period, before being independently inspired to join the Mafia, which was handy.

Where the bloody hell were they in between?

What argument could be so awful they vowed never to make it up, to the point they couldn't abide the sight of one another, and stormed off, planning never to meet again, for all the rest of their years left upon earth?

What was it even about?!

And how much time are we talking about?

Weeks? Months? Years?

Well a full decade of missing time, according to the above, being as Duh Twenny Fyve and that.

Ooh, but there's plenty o' clues during Training Daze, I'm sure. We just have to eke 'em out.

Ol' Fat Bastard Bullroarer Took introduces Jess to her new colleague, who — GASP! — happens to feature prominently in one of her multiple-choice Shameful Secret Pasts.

All together now:

It's a small world after all!

And that's enough to knock any girl off her crumpet.

Things Jess WILL say:

• Hmm. You seem familiar.

• Eh? Have we met before?

• Well, well, well. Long time no see.

• Hey, James! It's me, Jessie! Whoa, I can't believe this! How've you been keeping?

• Oh! You again!

• EH?! You mean HIM?! Oh no, you can forget that!

• What? JAMES?!

• OH! NO! NOT YOU!

• SO! WE MEET AGAIN!

• OOOH MY GOD!

It's coming, man. You'll see.

...

BUT! But! James will say it! He'll know her, no problem.

...

Not a flicker of recognition. At all.

Nor is there a single second of footage referencing this supposed Big Argument, proving it's an entirely fabricated excuse trying so hard to clean up after PoCo's tornado of death swept through the ship.

So why lie and pretend otherwise?

But whilst we're here, let's have a look at that definitely-not-cheesy thing James just said.

No one's carried me since my momma.

Yeah. The mother you're talking about there isn't your real mother Ma James, is it?

Else you mean no one's carried you since your governess, three nannies and a footman, til he put his back out.

Again, Holy Matrimony! is no longer canon, thus neither is the rest of Kanto, for the simple reason Hoenn James's 'momma' is some rough, chain-smoking fishwife with six kids by eleven men.

Actual documentary footage.

Well, it's the same accent, so I suppose that's something.

Although I will say, if you try to make it fit, it sounds like James did run off as a boy, even if his home was completely different.

So it doesn't work anyway.

Note that the only way you can have both Indigo and Hoenn canon mixed into some no-doubt cosy Frankenstein freak, offering out milk and there-there hugs, is by accepting that Jessie and James will and can separate over the most trivial issues, thereby leading you to also tolerate, and even justify, all the other Team-Rocket-Are-Splitting-Up episodes to come.

And I don't know why any of us would, as every one of them is predicated on Jessie and James NOT being a couple, not a sniff of hidden feelings even, for walking away is perfectly easy when there's no emotions involved.

Hmm. I don't remember any split-up episodes during the first series.

Certainly not. And guess why.

Now this was Nu-Thinking in its infancy, and yet to gain a foothold, meaning some attempt was made to rationalise the change.

But there's no explanation for how Crossing Paths! connects to Pokémon Tech., the bike gang, or even the Chansey School, given they've all to got to fit around Jessie's late-childhood crisis of Nurse Joy cosplay.

Perhaps it shows Training Daze did its job: buttering 'em up enough to take any punch to the gut, as long as it provided Feeble Emo Feelz in compensation.

Swear down, sometimes I think Pokémon only had a coherent narrative when it was gonna be a one-off.

Soon as that dream died it all went to pot.

During Sinnoh, for example, we go from the Jessie of Noodles! Roamin' Off! telling James to eff off home and marry Jessibelle, to the Jessie of Where No Togepi Has Gone Before! who is implied to be sharing a bed with him.

Take them both as true, and she's a manipulative bitch and bloody abusive, with James as her sad-bastard simp.

Nice.

And thanks to retcon magic, they always were like that now.

Because of the Noodles! ending, we're expected to forgot the beginning, where James almost killed himself trying to bring Jessie back.

Seems the writing can't even stay logical in one episode, as according to this she longs to spend eternity with him, but as for her life?

Nah, some other bird can take the hassle.

Everyone says James's childhood was a vision of horror, for growing up the cosetted only son of two billionaires is exactly as traumatic as struggling to survive as a homeless, starving orphan.

And don't let them pesky peasants tell you otherwise.

But then you have Jessie ordering him back to it.

So either his home life isn't so bad after all, or it is, and she'll happily send James into Hell rather than suffer him a moment longer.

It's SO shippy tho.

Oh look, another minger.

Like a Bay City Rollers tribute act with that collar.

If you were charitable, stooping to admit Dr. Shipman was 'alright', even then, does he remotely compare to James?

No!

Should we limit it to the ugly, boss-eyed Kalos style, then STILL James is superior, because he retains at least a portion of his anime roots.

Besides which, I can never forget James was once better animated, whereas for Dr. Crippen, this mug is as good as it gets.

And it's shit.

But, let's give him his due, he seems to possess two fully working eyes, which puts him one up on Daz 'n' Ozzy, even if they are the Fish-Eyed stare of a psychopath.

Of course, bringing him back down to their level is having No Bloody Nose, just a bridge which...goes nowhere.

And what's up with his neck?

Why is it so thin and elongated like a flamin' lollipop stick?

T.A.P's Law: Never trust a man with a long neck.

There's always a kink in it, like their souls.

Necks like that come from peering over walls to perv on silly women changing with the curtains open.

Conversely, never trust a man with no neck either.

That's from lurking in the bushes.

Is it, AGAIN, a coincidence that Jessie gets pawed off on to the most low-rate arse pickings possible?

What are you telling me? That Jessie is THIS worthless she goes for absolute biological crap, and since they don't want her, she is beneath them?!

And as she can't so much as stomach James, he's even worse than her?!

You look pretty today, Jessie.

I like your ear.

I'm irked at how, in a way, Dr. Shite is close to reasonable, at least within the restrictions of Kalos, yet the 'artists' made sure to stay just on the wrong side of average.

Had that flat, lank rug, supplying a chip shop its annual grease quota in one flick, been coloured black, we could've worked with it, turd-polished him up as the 'tall, dark and handsome' stereotype.

But NO!

Instead, they go for a murky shade between brown and grey, i.e. sludge.

Calm yourself, ladies.

Had his eyes been truly brown, then this could fit with that same 'ideal man' cliché.

But I think they might be veering into red.

EEEEEEEE!!! THE SATANIC HUE OF DÆMON SPAWN!!!

Somewhere along the line, him and Darren are in cahoots.

I insult Dr. Hook relentlessly for this episode, but, all facial flaws aside, it's not his fault.

He never asked for Kalos Jessie to throw her screeching fruit loaf at him; for some utterly unknown lunatic to force herself into his life, expecting to take over.

You ought to able to save a bint without her turning out be an obsessive nut claiming to be 'in love' after five minutes.

Really, he showed her nothing but normal human consideration, never led her on, and all the way through, stayed loyal to his midget girlfriend.

He likes her so much his right eye's popped out.

This is all on Kalos Jess.

She's the one abandoning her mates for a bloody stranger she knows nothing about, who might be a bloomin' serial killer for all she's aware.

Come on, every doctor's offed a few.

She's the one expecting Wobbuffet to take on some tarted-up single mother Wobba and her fatherless offspring.

But is he paying maintenance? 'Cause that's the real question.

She's the one not bothering to tell her friends she's safe, happy to let them go on believing her dead.

Oh, thanks a lot, love.

She's the one who knew James was robbed, beaten and alone, meaning he'd have NO ONE for the foreseeable future, and STILL wouldn't help until she had no other choice.

What a bitch, man!

Imagine how this was for me.

Little T.A.P. idolized Jessie. That was who I wanted to be when I grew up.

What do you think it is to see someone you love, the lively, fiery and beautiful young girl, twisted into a selfish, dried-up and soulless husk of woman?

We're supposed to see her as a weak, simpering airhead, who's 'in love' (HAH!) with every dribbling chump in her line of vision, which is bad enough when you realize how far she's fallen from the early years.

Have you NO dignity anymore?

But the actual depiction, beyond that sugary superficiality, is of a cold, callous, truly repulsive monster, with such a lack of concern for James's welfare she had to be FORCED to help him.

And I find myself in a state of cognitive dissonance.

I don't consider Kalos Jess to be Indigo Jessie, because the only similarity between them is they occupy the same space in the universe.

Problem is that the passive, 'mainstream view' is that they are, and so, immersed within it, by definition I'm expected to see it that way too.

I'm pressured by the planetary weight of blasé fandom culture, to see this heartless, vindictive harpie as no different from the girl I once hero-worshipped, and, as usual, she now was this all along, forever rotten to the core, and unworthy of my devotion from day one.

And I hate that.

As with Dr. Death, it would've been so easy to turn this around, scraping over the line of inadequacy with at least SOME redeeming elements.

If, at any point, Jessie had come to her senses, realized where her true heart lay, and ran back to James and Meowth, laughing at her own foolish fancies, I could've blamed it on brain damage.

If, having heard James's anguished plea for help, she'd dropped everything and rushed to his side, just as she did in Noodles!, this might count as the shippy-follows-anti-shippy rule, which I'd have suffered.

But do we get any o' that?

NO!

The ONLY reason she bothered to lift a finger to save her oldest friend was as she realized Dr. Fox didn't want her.

Whaddya yer see in him, Jess? He ain't even a man!

He looks about fourteen!

Meaning if Dr. Who HAD reciprocated, Jessie would've happily left James to fend for himself, potentially alone for life.

Yer fookin' evil bastard, Jessie!

Right at the end, she flings her bouquet from the balloon, for she's resigned to a loveless existence.

No wry smile, a shrug, or even philosophical attitude that eh, this is where she belongs, and alls well that ends well.

Nope, she resents coming back, and would leap at the chance to leave again, if anyone (and I do think it's anyone) offered it to her.

As to Kalos Jess, James is the lowest of the low, the pond slime company she settles for when nothing better is available.

He is the worst possible result, who she now can't even abide as a pal.

Oh charming, this is.

I have only seen this episode once and I will never watch it again, because it broke my bloody heart.

This was it. This was when I realized.

They'll never be together. All your dreams meant nothing.

I had inklings before, but like an idiot I pushed 'em down, unwilling to acknowledge what my own senses told me.

Year upon year of implications and, God help us, 'deconstructions' but this was the episode where the writers' intent was finally out in the open.

And people STILL didn't see it!

Apparently no one thought this hateful, nihilistic tantrum was anything to worry about, even trying to spin it as a positive that she came back at all, despite what it says about her reprehensible attitude.

As sod James and his feelings.

All that matters is Jess gets some half-witted knob-wrench to take her on fulltime.

Meowth can be sold on like a cheap, hand-me-down handbag, whilst James can suck it up and do one.

It's not just the clanging, anvil-to-the-head message that Rocketshipping is dead that got me, it's that it was murdered in the nastiest manner possible.

If it'd carried on as usual, all their romantic interludes fading to nothing, replaced by the anæmic, brother-and-sister creepfest they have now, it would've been a sad, tedious end, but rendered almost unimportant thanks to interest withering away.

But they couldn't even do that!

Instead, it the clear message that James loves her, but Jessie doesn't love him, and thus misery.

Worse, she hasn't a single platonic feeling for James, or even crumb of pity, though this is supposed to be a fella who's stood by her for the last five generations.

Kalos Jess is in fact ice all the way down, without a speck of humanity.

It's not even 'Just Friends' now! 'Cause that was too much to ask for an' all!

How this is meant to gel with Hoenn James's disgust I don't know, but his delight on seeing her, after all she did, downgrades the once-proud, arrogant posh boy into a broken, grovelling snotdrip, hanging around hoping she'll 'settle' for him once she's out of other options.

Fuq's ache, James!

You can do better than her, love. Jessibelle wouldn't have cheeked yer like that.

And then, for utterly no reason at all, Rumishipping suddenly looked attractive.

Remember how bad the montage was too? That gives you an idea of their opinion.

Although I suppose some of it's practicalities:

A. The 'art style' had degraded so badly by then that any 'best bits' from the first four regions wouldn't fit, instead emphasizing the collapse in quality.

The only answer would be to reanimate every single one, and they don't care that much.

B. A real collection of their finest moments would show Jessie as a warm, magnetic character, giving affection towards James and Meowth, which would somewhat undermine her modern portrayal.

Taken literally, imagine being James, running away crying, and the best memory you have of Jessie is almost dying of anaphylactic shock with her.

You know how this was supposed to be the 'origin of love'?

Well, about that...

What, you believed 'em?

You thought, if they didn't plan on Jessie and James being together, they'd actually tell you?

What, and watch you walk away, you and that lovely bank account of yours?

Come on, they've gotta milk yer dry first.

Here's where Zero Tolerance becomes a winning strategy, because we're only in this cesspit thanks to fans putting up with the steady decline in standards.

• You liked the above picture, so you agreed with rewriting canon.

Or, you took a blowtorch to Kanto, melted it beyond recognition, and stuffed Training Daze into the gloop, meaning you accepted Jessie and James can split up.

But that was alright, as it happened offscreen.

No worries.

• You got tearful over the end of Noodles!, and thus overlooked them parting on-screen, with her telling him to marry Jessibelle, confirming that Jessie and James have no romance.

But that was alright, as she soon came running once he was in need.

Also no worries.

• Now, we get to Kalos, after a full region of no shippy scenes between, and lo and behold, Jessie leaves James on-camera, openly pesters another man, and despises James so much she'll knowingly let him suffer.

But THAT was alright, as she... she... she came back didn't she? Thanks to the conventions of the programme.

No worries!

From the day I learnt Cassidy and Butch were back, I KNEW it'd be terrible.

Not just as it always is, but announcing this on Christmas Eve, thereby parading it as a gift, was tempting fate.

When the sub aired, the one surprising element was people actually complaining about the substandard offering, for once.

Yeah, they'd cheered on every other travesty in this post, but NOW things were serious.

Yet strangely, I didn't find it so awful.

It's a bad episode yes, but there are worse out there, certainly in Galar, and the tone was so slapdash and stupid I couldn't take it seriously.

So why all the fuss?

I would guess many viewers were holding on this long, trusting it'd all be worth it one day, but every disappointment was like the tick-tick-tick of a bomb countdown.

And here's where time ran out.

Something about The Good, the Bad and the Lucky! set off so many explosions, as if THIS was the one, THIS had to be the prize, THIS must be what they'd waited for all these decades.

And when it wasn't, then BOOM!

Too little, too late, sunshine. They don't need to please you now.

Team Rocket are gone, and Tumblerries who wouldn't fight are shocked they lost the war.

Yet there are also daft fans out there STILL insisting the happy-ever-after will come in the very, very last installment, if you only wait another twenty years or more, watching and paying as you go, up to when future writers won't have to bother.

Why should they deign to please you when no kids will remember who Jessie and James are by then?

Maybe we did have the ending we deserved, given no one cared enough to make a stand.

And it's not that I begrudge anyone speaking out now.

I only wish you'd said something when it could've made a difference.

End of Part Three

#Team Rocket #Rocketshipping #Jessie #James #Jessie and James #Meowth #Persian #Giovanni #Christopher #Jubei #Hoenn #Training Daze #Kanto #The Bridge Bike Gang #Sinnoh #Noodles! Roamin' Off!#The Electric Tale of Pikachu #GIFS

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oswincoleman · 2 years ago

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Jenna Coleman's 2022 Year in Review, part 1: Acting

In short, 2022 was almost the opposite of 2021 in this regard. From January to June, Jenna didn't do any acting (that we know of), but after that, she was very busy most of the time working on Wilderness, Jackdaw, and rehearsing for Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons.

Bad news first: in 2022, Jenna had less screen time than in any other year of her acting career since 2011. There are numerous reasons for this, including her break from April 2021 to June 2022, and various delays. She appeared prominently in one episode of The Sandman, and had a small and tiny appearance in two others. She also voiced Melia Antiqua in Xenoblade Chronicles 3.

Good news: 2023 is going to be a very good year for Jenna Coleman fans, with Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons, Klokkenluider, Wilderness, and possibly also Jackdaw being released. Jenna was arguably involved in more projects this year than ever before. She promoted the release of the film Klokkenluider, and started filming Jackdaw. She promoted the TV show The Sandman, and filmed Wilderness. She started rehearsing for the play Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons. And the game Xenoblade Chronicles 3 was released.

The Sandman

10 episodes of The Sandman season 1 were released on Netflix on the 5th of August 2022. As was announced in 2021, Jenna played Johanna Constantine, a sort-of, but not quite genderbent John Constantine. Johanna goes through similar events as John in the comics, but reacts differently to them, being her own unique character. Episode 3 of The Sandman, "Dream a Little, Dream of Me", predominantly revolves around her.

Several additional scenes were added to that episode, to establish her character, such as the ones shown in the two gifs above, in which she is tasked with exorcising a demon from a princess, and dresses up as a priest for the occasion.

Jenna also played the ancestor of Johanna Constantine; Lady Johanna Constantine, in episode 6 of The Sandman, "The Sound of her Wings". She appears in the scene set in 1789, during the sequence of meetings between Morpheus and Hob Gadling every 100 years. Although this appearance was brief, it marks the introduction of her character, who will appear again in future episode(s) of The Sandman.

Jenna was phenomenal in both roles, and received tons of praise for her portrayal of both Constantines. Since the release of the show, a lot of people have requested for her to get her own spinoff show! Unfortunately, I think it is unlikely to happen, given how reluctant Netflix was to even renew The Sandman, but you never know!

Both Constantines are very unique roles for Jenna, these are parts the likes of which she has never played before. And just as she always does, she really made them stand out, and be unique. Just as she does for all of her roles, she gave them their own unique way of speaking, a unique pronunciation. She talked a lot about how she approached playing the characters, and how she portrayed their rough, cynical, sweary outside, to hide their true feelings.

Jenna also did a lot of promotional work for The Sandman in the months leading up to the release. The above gif is from a video of the cast of The Sandman associating a word or phrase relating to the show, to every letter of the alphabet, for Entertainment Weekly.

We don't yet know for sure if Jenna will reprise her role(s) for season 2 of The Sandman, but she did share this behind-the-scenes picture of herself as Johanna Constantine meeting Morpheus (played by Tom Sturridge) on Instagram after the announcement of the renewal of the show.

Hopefully, Jenna will receive the awards and nominations she deserves for her amazing acting in the show next year!

Xenoblade Chronicles

Jenna also reprised her role as Melia Antiqua in Xenoblade Chronicles 3, which was released on the 29th of July 2022. Above is a picture of her doing the voice acting for the game. You can watch the cutscenes from the game here:

youtube

Klokkenluider

After a long period of uncertainty about its release, Klokkenluider, the film Jenna Coleman filmed in February to March 2021, had its world premiere on the 8th of October at the London Film Festival. It was subsequently also shown at the Cambridge Film Festival, and the Tallinn Black Nights Film Festival. It was announced to be more widely released at some point next year.

Jenna's character, Flo, was reported to only appear in the final act of the film. She is a very sweary character, apparently even more so than Johanna Constantine. One review of the film said that "Coleman must hold some kind of record of how many times a character can say any version or abbreviation of the word “cunt” in under a minute, but her role is the most fun I’ve seen the actress ever have on screen."

The reviews of the film and Jenna's acting in it have been almost universally very positive. So I can't wait to see it!

Wilderness

On the 17th of June, 2022, Jenna Coleman was announced to lead the Amazon Prime show "Wilderness", in which she plays Liv Taylor. It is based on the novel of the same name by B.E. Jones. Filming took place in Canada and the USA from the 17th of June to the 1st of October. The show will mainly revolve around her and Will Taylor, played by Oliver Jackson-Cohen.

It was announced that it would be released next year, but we are still waiting for a date to be announced for it. The behind the scenes pictures show that they filmed in lots of beautiful scenery.

Jackdaw

This is a "secret" new film that Jenna started working on in the week of the 5th of December. It is apparently directed by Jamie Childs, and also stars Oliver Jackson-Cohen. Everyone involved has tried to keep talk about it to a minimum, and there have not been any public announcements about it yet, besides casting calls for various roles.

At the moment, we only know very little about it. Given the deliberate secrecy, it is likely that "Jackdaw" will not be the final name of the film. But what we do know, is that Jenna dyed her hair a light shade of blonde, much lighter than her hair colour in The Cry.

We know that Jenna wears a black outfit, and is involved in several action sequences. She even has a stunt double for these scenes!

At the moment, it is impossible to say when it will be released. Jenna has only worked on it for a brief period so far, as rehearsals for Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons started soon after the start of filming. Other actors involved in the film have, however, been working almost right until Christmas on it. It is quite possible that Jenna will continue filming it, after the play is done, in April 2023.

Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons

On the 8th of November, it was announced that Jenna Coleman and Aidan Turner would star as Bernadette and Oliver in the play Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons. It will be shown at the Harold Pinter Theatre in London from the 18th of January to the 18th of March, then in Manchester from the 21st to the 25th of March, and finally in Brighton from the 28th of March to the 1st of April.

The promotion for the play has been absolutely amazing. The play immediately had an official Instagram and Twitter account, and its own website. Additionally, there was a photoshoot for the play, a TV interview at the BBC's today show, and a radio interview during the Zoe Ball Breakfast show. And all of that weeks before rehearsals even began!

For fans living outside the UK, it remains unclear if it will be possible to see the play. But hopefully, it will be recorded for NTLive, just like All My Sons was.

The War Rooms

This is a show, that Jenna was announced to be the lead actress in, and the executive producer for, on the 27th of April 2021. However, since the initial announcement, there has not been any news about it whatsoever. Although this could be interpreted as the show having been scrapped, Jenna Coleman recently said during a Comic Con, that it was still in development, that it was just taking a long time.

Perhaps filming for it will start in 2023?

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caw4brandon · 3 years ago

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Loki’s Take on Freedom

The Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) has always been a love-hate situation for me. I for one, love that comic book or graphic novel stories are getting the justice of adaptions they deserve but I am also sick of how boring they feel. At some point, I talked to a group of mates saying: “Marvel will get boring and die”

But, not matter how I decided that its the end. The MCU has ways to just pull me back. So, I recently watched < Loki > which follows Loki Laufeyson (Duh), who recently suffered a humiliating defeat after the invasion of the Chitauri in New York City. We pick up during the events of < Endgame > where something seems to have interrupted the sequence of events that lead to Loki escaping but was caught on time by a group of people called the [Time Variance Authority (TVA)]

Following his arrest, he caught the attention of a certain agent who believes that his knowledge and behavior on manipulation and deceit, could help their cause. There is a lot of love to hate about Tom Hiddleston's portrayal of the Norse god of mischief. After watching all six episodes, I’ve decided to have a little chat.

- Time Travel Never Looked This Fun -

First of all, let’s cover how Marvel has handled time travel so far. They made it Fun! Upon watching and recounting Loki’s greatest hits in episode one, we learned that he was involved with various events that is significant to mortal history. From the fun fact that Loki is DB Cooper (No, its not a spoiler because its in the trailer) to being involved with Pompeii very briefly.

The show doesn't make time travel complicated. The rules are basically, if it happened. It can be rewritten or be branched out and the TVA’s duty is to prevent the spiral of these “unintended branches” from happening.

This is the strength of the series. With time travel in shows, its often times played for a what if scenario. [Insert show here] where the villain won and took over the world or a what if scenario in < Doctor Who > where the hero ceased to exist or that events altered to a dark path. One very popular version of this that comes to mind is < Kim Possible > where Shego managed to take over the world and a future Rufus was sent to seek the aid of past Kim to fix the timeline.

Since finishing the series, I’ve been told by several people that < Loki > is the best adaption of time traveling stories because even though the episode itself may feel like something has changed. The changes are never felt in their own respective timeline. Hence, it becomes a branch. As Loki’s new found friend says it;

Because Loki is also a rather narcissistic character. The TVA never ceases to show the various versions of the god of mischief under different circumstances. From a Hulked out Loki to President Loki, to Loki as a traditional 90s villain via [Richard E Grant]. Every Loki shows a different variant of events that transpired and no Loki is the same.

What the creators have done to time traveling stories is that they tear down the selling point of altering main events in MCU but rather, < Loki > strays away to its own insane branch that doesn’t affect the movies at all.

- Burdened with Glorious Purpose -

Since episode one, we’ve noticed the many trigger words that sets the tone of the show. Words like trust, purpose, lies, time (because of course) reason and words that could make philosophers lose their minds and theorise for hours but the word I’m looking for and noticed plays an important role overall is; Freedom.

When it comes to subjects of freedom. It often times falls under the notion that the characters are restricted or controlled in some way. A video essay from [Wisecrack] used the works of the prolific German author; [Franz Kafka] and dissected that like the characters in Kafka’s books. Loki is stuck in the infuriating bureaucracy system of the TVA for crimes that he has yet to understand but is doubtful of the intentions of the so-called [time keepers] The Bosses of the TVA.

In that process and for the sake of not spoiling. Loki uncovers a deep rooted, lie about the TVA and realizes that what he does as a being who is “Burdened with Glorious Purpose” to only be burdened with the harshness of his insignificance and of everything. In a sense, Loki has not only realized that he’s lied and hurt others, but he has also lied to himself thinking that he is bigger than others when in actuality, he is but an insect in the universe he is trapped in.

The show constantly hammers this idea that our freedom to decide is nothing more but a delusion made by the weak to feel better about themselves. Even after the discovery of the TVA’s conspiracy. Some of its agents still cling onto the idea and the intention of their agency to have some form of significance that is for a good purpose. With that said, the show breaks down every important moment of the MCU as nothing but an intended script authorized by the one who is in charge it is definitely not Loki. However, with the existence and explanation of the TVA. The show seems to suggest that we are entering Alternative Universe territory in future MCU movies to come.

In the end, when given the choice to finally be free from the shackles of the intended paths paved for him. Loki abandons that quest to be the hero or back to being the villain he once was but rather, accepts his role to the system and live it to his fullest. On the other hand, the other Loki’s didn’t take it as well.

- I Don’t Want The Throne -

So, what does this have to do with us fable mortals?

Well, it doesn’t take a time traveling police to know that in the grand scheme of things. Nothing matters. In real life, I’m in that stage of losing passion for being a creative because, with how soul crushing the system is made against us. Over a year of starting Tumblr, I’ve found a lot of like minded people who wishes to speak to the void with their passions.

My intention was to use this platform to develop an audience with the aspirations to be a creative of a different caliber. I never bother too much with the likes and reblogs because I was well aware that those are but small victories for bigger things to come but even that reward has dwindled over the last few posts I’ve made which, not going to lie. Really bummed me out.

Some say its called a [Creative Burnout] some called it a [harsh dose of reality] but personally, I think, as my late 20s rolls to the other side. I may have suffered an episode of [Existential Mid-life Crisis] For too long, I was highly praised and supported by family and friends that I can be the creative I wanted to be and be like the heroes I grew up with on social media. Later in life, I realized that the world still doesn’t understand creatives like us and even worst, they undervalue us with every chance they had.

At this point, I just can’t see myself doing anything else as a job aside from just, graphic design. I hated the fact that for all my rebellious nature of not wanting to end up in a cubical. I have hilariously ended up in a cubical made of cardboard and painted with bright colors. Even if I want to leave this cubical, Like Loki, I felt like there is nothing else for me in this Kafkaesque cycle.

We as a society have made a good enough maze among ourselves that no matter where we go, we still end up becoming the very cogs of society we vow to reject for the sake of our survival without even realizing it. What I’m trying to say is, for all its fantastical elements. < Loki > has showed us that even though we think we are free to chose and be what we want to be, the cogs will always exist to keep things turning with no way out. Its our choice to either break out into the great unknown or to accept the illusion and be free WITHIN it.

Thanks for Reading

- Caw4B -

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michelemoutons · 4 years ago

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and at last, the post that maybe three people maximum have been waiting for...

em's comfort retro rally videos: a masterlist!

in a much-needed return to this blog's roots, and as an antidote to all motorsport- and life-related chaos, i now present to you: the first edition of em's favorite retro rally videos!

general disclaimer/info: these videos mainly come from the group B era of the world rally championship (wrc), which generally speaking was in the '80s. i am only human, so expect a lot of bias toward my personal favorites...which will become very apparent as you read this list hehe. also i'm not even gonna pretend to be an expert on this or anything. a lot of these are literally just based on Vibes

table of contents

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

mainly coverage for television, recorded on VHS and uploaded to YouTube by some truly incredible people

ii. honorable mentions

not rally coverage, but retro rally videos nevertheless

often documentaries, mini-doc features, interviews

for all videos, i have indicated the language (most are in english fyi); if any links fail or videos disappear, send me an ask or DM and i'll remove the culprit/find an alternative link.

and now, onward!

(TW for occasional flash photography in many of the night sequences of the videos, as well as a gif included in this post)

i. my top 5 rally coverage videos

in which my bias toward audi sport, mouton/pons, mikkola, toivonen, and vatanen are put on blast for all to see 🥴 i am not an expert in anything i am just very good at research and a whore for aud—[SNIPED]. for the sake of brevity, i narrowed my favorites down to 5. maybe another time i will share all the rest!

also, a general note about the commentary: sometimes, the commentary around michèle and fabrizia can get... weird. keep in mind, they were the most prominent female team partnership around that time, and the first to nearly clinch a wrc wdc, and to modern ears, the commentators really didn't know how to act around them. personally, it wasn't horrible for me, i just ignored the weirder bits, but i understand if others might find it off-putting. also for the sake of your sanity don't read the comments.

5. Rally of the 1000 Lakes, 1984 | finland

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/alén/toivonen (full final results)

comments: this was definitely a rally for most of audi sport's drivers to forget: bar stig blomqvist, who came quite close to the podium finishers with a 4:14:01 to henri toivonen's 4:12:57! both hannu mikkola and michèle mouton had to retire from the race, which may lead you to wonder: why does this rank among my favorites? well, it's always fun to watch group b rally cars sailing through the air against picturesque scenery, and this video also contains an intriguing (at least for me!) look at the scrutineering process, with drivers at their most casual.

owie :( they were fine though!

4. Lombard RAC Rally, 1981 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/vatanen/blomqvist (full final results)

comments: hannu winning by 11 whole minutes even after rolling his car in the middle of the forest is actual legend behavior! anyway this was michèle's first wrc outing in britain, and even though she and fabrizia had to retire, they still did quite well, consistently running high in the leaderboards after the first few stages. and that's considering the fact that michèle had a bad cold for much of the rally and had to ask fabrizia to drive the car to service park for her at one point bc she was so tired. which fabrizia did... with a pencil in her mouth. lot of big names in one video—also, jean todt makes an appearance as a co-driver!

shamelessly poached off of one of my text post edits

3. Marlboro Safari Rally, 1983 | kenya

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: vatanen/mikkola/mouton (full final results)

comments: ok can i just say how stunning the video presentation is?? the opening sequence is just!!! the shots of the wildlife! the sprinting giraffes! wow! anyway the visual of drivers in deck chairs just tickles me for no reason, and michèle please tell me what you ask for at the hairdresser's and also where you got that orange blouse (this is obviously not just specific to this rally, she always eats and leaves no crumbs). this was michèle's first entry and only finish in kenya (and of course it was a podium mwah). it was also her last wrc entry in the A1 quattro, as she switched to the A2 for the rest of her program in the '83 season. also this is one of my favorite podium pictures ever.

lksdjffnnkd there's almost too much to unpack... fabrizia somehow surviving in high waist jeans in a hot car... michèle's do-it-yourself shorts... this podium picture was the subject of a very frantic video chat conversation between myself and a friend at 2am a few months ago

2. Rallye de Portugal, 1982 | portugal

links: short recap (eng) | overall coverage 1, stuck in the middle of two other rallies. timestamps in descrip. (eng) | overall coverage 2, very vibey with cool music (ita... also peep walter röhrl speaking italian)

podium: mouton/eklund/wittmann (full final results)

comments: GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH AAAA! michèle's first podium of '82 being a win? this rally being the one where there's footage of her going shopping with fabrizia afterward? (more on that later) them winning by 13 whole minutes? and that's not even considering THEE most poetic victory ceremony of all time! in fact let me talk about that bc the racing and the win aside, that's why it's so high up on my list! literally poetic cinema! it's night, they're standing on top of the car and floodlit and surrounded by cheering crowds but they may as well be the only ones there in their own little world, laughing at each other and barely even having to look to each other when they're raising their hands—like god! shut up! we get it you're besties 😭

i_just_think_theyre_neat.png

and now... last but certainly never least...

1. Lombard RAC Rally, 1982 | britain

link: overall coverage (eng)

podium: mikkola/mouton/toivonen (full final results)

comments: firstly, if you were to ask me about my dream podium, this would be it. hands down, across all series of motorsport, my comfort podium would be hannu, michèle, and henri in any order. (there's such a cute picture of them from this rally on pinterest, standing in order on a staircase. henri is not looking at the camera because he is laughing at something michèle is saying and it's such a Vibe but i cannot find it wah). the battle for second between michèle and henri ran down to literally the last stage, and their times are separated by seconds, which is just wild to me. the context of this rally deserves another post, which i honestly don’t have the energy to make rn, but just take my word for it that it threatens to destroy me if i think about it too hard! anyway this is just such an awesome rally and i’ve watched this video so many times haha

i love this rally so much that i actually had a character in a story i was writing attend the ceremony captured in this picture as a small child and made it a formative moment in her life. no, there is nothing wrong with me.

ii. honorable mentions

(is it obvious who my faves are? yikes)

'Group B - Avec Michele Mouton' (eng) - taken from a longer feature presentation about group b, a segment specifically about michèle. a friend once described its vibes as ‘a synth wave edit of an 80s anime set in a cyberpunk world about racing’

'1983 Audi Sport National Rally with Michele Mouton' (eng) - in which michèle takes journalist sue baker as a co-driver for a spin in an A1 and a rally win. fun behind-the-scenes video

'Intervista a Fabrizia Pons, la Regina delle Note' 1, 2, 3 (ita) - very thorough interview which is mostly fabrizia telling all sorts of stories, including the very entertaining story of how she found out she was going to be michèle’s co-driver. also what a badass title

'2008 Otago International Classic Rally' (eng) - THE BESTIES REUNITE THE BESTIES REUNITE!!! michèle and fabrizia reunite for a rally that fabrizia convinced michèle to join, they suffer some problems but there are plenty of wholesome bestie moments to be had

'Michele Mouton hurls Group B Audi Quattro up Goodwood hill' (eng) - i mean, self explanatory. the sound of the chirping tires? asmr could never. very short watch if you want a quick pick-me-up

'1990 Louise Aitken-Walker feature' (eng) - a video featuring a female rally driver from scotland and her point-scoring run at the rallye monte -carlo. i am convinced that louise was john finnemore’s inspiration or at least an influence for the character of linda fairbairn. no my hat is not made of tin foil what are you talking about

hannu rocketing around michigan back in 2017 (eng)

hannu flying around goodwood in 2015 (eng)

sometimes i listen to fabrizia's recent onboards (yes, she's still at it!) and this one is one of my favorites, from 2016 (ita)

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years ago

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On set visits; Queen x reader x Borhap boys pt. 1

*Author's note*

Alright so this part is broken up into 2 parts so here is the 1st part of the Bohemian Rhapsody film set visit. Part 2 will be up in just a second after I get done with this author's note. So expect some crazy stuff happening, fluffiness and the Rock Angel reminiscing on her past with the boys.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queensdivas

@queendeakyy

@wormzteef

@geek-and-proud

@starswin

@isabella-bby

@onebigfangirlworld

@labessieisallama

@5sos-wdw

@ssa-sadboi

@naturalswifty89

@bohemiansweede

_________________________________________________________

*Sept. 2017. Filming Bohemian Rhapsody*

I almost couldn't believe it myself. I mean I knew that the boys were planning on a film about themselves and that it was taking them almost 10 years just to get it off the ground. But now after multiple rewrites of the script and better casting, the film was ready to get off the ground.

"So you're absolutely sure I can stop by whenever I feel like it? No matter how many times?" I spoke into my I-phone.

'Absolutely love, just as long as you don't spill any secrets.'

"Please Bri, when have I ever revealed anything to anyone about you guys?"

'Well there was the time—'

"That was a fluck and you know it!" I snapped.

'I'm kidding love, you've never spilled any secrets. You've gotten better at lying lately.' Brian chuckled.

"Well when you say it like that it makes me feel guilty."

'As it should love. So when can we expect you?'

"I'll try to get there before the filming starts, so I may end up going to bed now so that way I can get on the road early enough to beat traffic."

'I know Rog is looking forward to seeing you again.'

"I just did the summer tour with you guys, how could he already miss me?"

'It's a mystery to all of us, but he is your father after all.'

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay well I'll see you tomorrow Bri."

'See you then (y/n). sweet dreams and drive safe tomorrow.'

"Will do. Love you."

'Love you too poppet.' I then hung up and couldn't help but grin.

"You still going over to see them film tomorrow?" I turned and low and behold after a long day's shift there was my husband coming in from his police work.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat threw up." I teased.

"Ha-ha you're hilarious my love." He said as he undid his tie and unbuttoned his short. "So the film's finally taking off the ground?"

"Yep, and they finally found a better Freddie Mercury."

"Yeah cause I remember when you called and told me about Sacha Baron Cohen."

"I just couldn't stand the fact that he was wanting to expose the dark side of Freddie. I mean yeah he had the parties, and the drugs, the sex, but that's all what Rock and rollers did back in those days. Plus that's all he seemed to care about. The scandal that came with Freddie's name, nothing about the music. I'm only just glad Bri sided with me on it." I ranted as Jack came up after taking his shirt and undoing his pants and began to rub my shoulders.

"I know love. You're as protective of this project as Brian and Roger are. So do you know who exactly they got to play Freddie this time?"

"No, but I'll find out tomorrow."

"Okay well, my team's got a heavy lead on the case so I won't really be available tomorrow."

"I understand. Just—promise me you'll be careful my love. I haven't forgotten that one killer that shot you in the line of duty."

"I survived didn't I? Plus now we both have a bullet story to share." He leaned his forehead against mine.

"Not funny Jack." I muttered.

"I know. C'mon let's get some sleep. We both have got a long day ahead of us tomorrow." I nodded and then we both got into bed and we fell asleep.

Early the next morning I was on my way over to the set driving in my own car without a driver. As I approached the set gate of course I was stopped by security.

"Badge and proof of visitation ma'am." I handed him the badge that Roger had sent in for me and some documentation that I needed to show him saying that I was not only visiting but a consultant for the movie to help the actors get to know the true Queen. "Everything checks out Mrs. Kline, here you go and have a good day."

"You too uhh—Marvin." I read his nametag before putting my VIP badge around my neck as the gate opened and I drove on inside.

After about 10 minutes I finally was able to find a parking space. I got out of the car and locked it up before walking towards the set. I was told by Brian that the actors had been prepping for the biggest scene they were going to film, the Live Aid sequence.

When I came around and actually stepped up onto the stage, I was blown away and taken back to the summer of 1985. Jesus they—the production got every single detail down to the paint chippings. The rigged lights that Queen had the day they performed, Roger's kit and the grand piano with Freddie's Pepsi cups filled with beer.

"Oh my god. Jack if only you were here to see this." I muttered to myself. It was then I saw Brian talking to someone but—wait did he? Did he seriously dye his hair back to its original dark curls? I walked up to him but waited till he was done talking to some of the producers. Once he was I tapped his shoulder and he turned around and—oh wow I just....wow.

I don't know whether this is a prank or time travel does exist but I swear I'm literally looking at Brian the day I had met him.

"Okay it's official. I think I have finally cracked." I said as I placed my hand over my forehead.

"I'm sorry ma'am do you need to sit down or can I get you a cup of water?" Oh god he even sounds like Brian.

"Ahhh seems you two have already met. And here I thought I could surprise you." I turned and there was—Brian? My Brian with the grey curls now. Wait what!? What is going on here!?

"What the f—"

"Ah, ah language young lady!" Brian scolded.

"You must be the Rock Angel (Y/n) Kline, Brian and Roger have told us a lot about you. Pardon me, Gwilym Lee." He said as he extended his hand to me. I shook it and said in awe.

"Ahhhh, now I see it. Sorry Gwilym dear, never did I think I'd see two Brian's at once. I swear to god you look—exactly like Brian when I met him."

"Anita said the exact same thing. Cheeky woman was even trying to flirt with him." Brian said as he pouted towards the end..

"No she didn't." I gawked.

"I'm afraid it's true." Gwilym said with a blush. I shook my head softly laughing.

"Oh that woman I tell you what."

"Well I can tell you one thing I know a certain someone of the cast who will flip out once he sees you." said Gwilym.

"And just who might that be?" I asked him.

"The young lad whose playing Deacy, Joe Mazzello."

"Kept ranting on and on about your Live Aid performance and how you and Deacy used to interact with each other in your performances together."

"Ahh yes. Me and my dear brother mine." I sighed with a solemn smile.

"I—I'm sorry I-I-I didn't mean to......"

"No, no Gwilym it's fine. While sometimes I do wish he could still be around, I completely understand why he chose to leave the band. Hell without Brian and Rog I—I don't even want to think what I would've done after Freddie died." I soon brushed my sorrows away and said, "Now come here Gwilym I want to get a closer look at you." he came up to me and we stood face to face of each other.

I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked him up and down before cupping each side of his face gently.

"God they chose right for my Brian. I swear, it's like Gwilym is your long lost son Bri." I said as my eyes turned toward Brian.

"I'm beginning to think you might be right." Joked Brian. I stepped back from Gwilym and said to him.

"I can't wait to see the full Live Aid recreation with you all in full costume."

"I hope we do you proud Mrs. Kline."

"First of all, call me (y/n). Secondly, I'm already proud. From what I've heard from Brian and Roger, I have no doubt in my mind that we've entrusted the right group of actors with Freddie's and Queen's upbringing tale to absolute rock gods."

"You flatter us too much (y/n)." Brian gushed.

"Only because you old fossils deserve it." I teased as I stuck my tongue out at him to which Brian did his little eyebrow quirk at me. I giggled softly and continued. "Well before filming starts, I'm gonna continue to look around the set. I'm told the lower decks where all the performers were settled in are just like how they were when we were there. Ciao Brians'." I walked away from them with a wave of my hand.

After exploring more of the set design and going down memory lane it was then I came across another look-a-like. Holding the famed natural Fender precision Bass guitar and wearing that god awful tacky shirt that I secretly wished I had told him not to wear, and having the iconic mushroom fluffy hair was the actor who was playing Deacy, Joe Mazzello.

One of the hair designers was fluffing up the wig to make sure it was up to Deacy's standard. And god just like with Gwilym, Joe was practically identical to Deacy.

It was just like seeing Deacy again back when he was happy and content with where Queen was at, just before finding out about Freddie's illness (which I had found out from Spike several years ago that Deacy had actually known since the last tour Queen ever did with Freddie).

I smiled softly as I watched him get ready for the camera. His wide smile reminded me so much of Deacy's. Slowly I walked up towards him and as the hairdresser looked him over Joe asked.

"So how does it look?"

"I think you look terrific." I said.

"Wait who said—OH MY GOD!!!" he screamed as he turned around and saw me. Like all usual fanboys, he jumped back, his mouth was gaped and his eyes were wide.

"Close your mouth please Joe dear we are not a codfish." His mouth immediately closed.

"Y-you-you-you're....."

"The Rock—"

"Rock Angel." We both said together slowly. "Call me (y/n)." I greeted as I extended my hand out to him and he took it hold of it and shook it.

"I just—I can't believe that I'm-I'm-I'm actually standing beside the Rock Angel." I softly giggled.

"Just know that beyond the glam and the rock star female empowerment, I'm just a normal 55 year old woman."

"But you still look good." He said. I quirked my brow at him so he quickly tried to save himself, "Not that you're old or anything. I mean I don't mean to offend you I just....."

"Joseph. Relax dear. I'm not offended at all. Freddie always said that I would end up being an eternal beauty. At first I thought it was just Freddie being Freddie but as the years have passed I think he—that he must be behind giving me this youthful glow."

"The Rock Angel called me dear," he first gushed with a shy smile. "Sorry I just...... I grew up listening to your albums along with Queen and the first time I saw one of your broadcast performances, I kinda had a little crush on you" He said gently.

"Aww I'm flattered Joe, really I am." I said as I gently cupped the side of his face and gave his cheek a stroke of my thumb. At that point he looked like he was about to melt into a puddle with how much joy he was probably filled with. "Now Joe forgive me for saying this, how long have you been acting?"

"I was a child actor actually. I've—always been in the acting business. Why do you ask?"

"Well besides seeing some of my brother's features I feel like I've—seen you in something before."

"You might recall a little film that came out in the 90's known as Jurassic Park?"

"Wait hold on—you...." I gasped. "You played little Tim Murphy!?!"

"Yes, yes I was Tim Murphy."

"Oh my god. When that film came out my twin boys were literally obsessed with that movie. Would not watch anything else for a full year. They even wore out the old VHS tape we had for it. Oh my god how could I not recognize you sooner?"

"Well I was 8 just turning 9 while we were filming it."

"You had a birthday while filming?"

"Yeah. It was during the kitchen scene with the raptor. I actually got injured on that day."

"What? What happened?" he then proceeded to tell me exactly what had happened. Of how the raptor they used was on wheels and he was running toward the fridge and he was supposed to go left while the raptor was supposed to go right, but the guy controlling the raptor lost control and went the same direction as Joe and he ended up getting hit in the face with a metal claw.

And it was at that moment the director Steven Spielberg and the rest of the crew sang Happy birthday to him.

Then of course he tried to ask Joe at that moment if they could try it again, but when Joe proved he couldn't do it, they wrapped for that day.

"Oh you poor thing."

"It's okay, I survived."

"Well I hope you never suffered an injury like that since then. And on your birthday too? That's never a good birthday present to get a concussion."

"I was cleared out with no concussion, just a little dizzy and a bit of bruising."

"Oh I'm sorry love, it's my inner mother instincts kicking in."

"She always was an overprotective mother." We both turned around and I saw Roger walking up sporting the black beanie I gave him for Christmas last year and another actor who was sporting the Roger Taylor look he had for Live Aid.

"Oh look who's talking smother father! For years since I've known you you've been the definition of helicopter parent." I gawked at him. "You still sometimes even threaten Jack with missing out on our dates cause of our jobs."

"And I've always told you that boy would be trouble one day." He teased as he came up to me.

"Wow so it is actually true, you guys do look at each other as father and daughter." Said the young actor playing Roger.

"Yes Ben, my adoptive daughter (Y/n) Kline, otherwise known as the Rock Angel." Roger introduced.

"So you're the young actor playing my main father figure eh?" I said as I looked at the young man.

"Yes. Ben Hardy, it's a real honor to meet you in person Mrs. Kline. To say I was nervous to meet Roger is nothing compared to the thought of meeting you."

"Are you saying I'm intimidating and unapproachable?" I asked offendedly.

"Wha? No! No! God no I-I-I-I didn't mean it that way I was just...." I interrupted him with a laugh and said.

"Dear, relax. I was just pulling your leg."

"And be thankful she was. Otherwise, I'd beat your arse boy for insulting my daughter." Roger protectively stated.

"See there you go you old hypocrite. Besides Rog you haven't been able to kick anyone's arse in years. Don't want you breaking a hip now do we?" I mocked him.

"You're lucky these boys are here little missy." Roger scolded me.

" Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now then Ben, you were once on EastEnders right?" I said turning my attention back toward Ben.

"Yes. I played Peter Boyle on the show. My recent film before this was the new X-Men movie that came out about a year ago. X-Men Apocalypse."

"Ahh yes, my youngest son is always obsessed with all the superhero films. Marvel or DC. Now I'd like to see you two more closely, stand together." Both Joe and Ben followed orders and I looked both of them up and down.

Circling around them before cupping each of their faces once by one. And yes Ben was a bit more muscular than Roger was and of course they didn't get his hair right for this part in time, but there was just something in Ben's eyes that just made me think back to the first day I met Roger.

That sparkle of mischief but also protectiveness that shown through those blue eyes of his.

"That is most definitely my Roger. You both have the same spirit in your eyes. I can't wait to see how you play the drums up on that stage."

"Yeah, me neither." He said with a hint of nervousness. I then went over to Joe and cupped his face too. Just—my god just like with Deacy the profile was just uncanny. Of course, Deacy's eyes were more of a hazel type while Joe's were like a brownish type color. But I couldn't deny he looked so much like my brother. "And you my dear Joseph. Gwilym isn't the only one to resemble the man he's playing."

"It was kinda scary after getting the wig on. So much so that I called my mom and asked her what she was doing in 1983?" I laughed and said as I took my hands away from his face.

"Unfortunately, I can tell you for a fact that John Deacon is not your father. The only lady he's ever loved and will love is Veronica."

"I know." I chuckled softly.

"Now then Joe if you'll come with me there's important things I need to discuss with you."

"Like what?"

"You'll see. It was wonderful to meet you Ben, I hope we can get to know each other better later after you all film the Live Aid concert."

"Yeah of course, it was wonderful to meet you Mrs. Kline."

"Please call me (y/n). Dad you better not be too hard on this one, I like him."

"Don't worry I won't break him too much." The four of us went our separate ways.

Joe and I arrived at my trailer (all thanks to Rog and Bri). We entered inside and I told Joe to take a seat. He sat down on my couch while I went over to the kitchen.

"Tea?"

"Yes please. One sugar please."

"Just like how he liked it." I muttered to myself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing love, nothing." I prepped the tea for him and once it was done I handed him his cup and he thanked me. I watched him take a sip and he said,

"Ahh never gets old. I'm telling you after this I may just be the biggest tea fan ever."

"It is good for the soul. I myself have always found Jasmine to be the way to nirvana." I paused for a brief moment before saying, "Joe." He looked at me giving me his full attention, "As you know probably from weeks of research and maybe even from Roger and Brian themselves, Deacy chose to exempt himself from all forms of stardom. To live a quiet life with his family."

"Yeah. When I first got the part I did reach out to him on just any personal advice on certain quirks that he did. Cause even though I've played real life people before, this is the first time I'm playing someone whose still alive, and I wanted to do him justice."

"Yes, quite."

"However all I got back was just that he approved of the project and just for me to take it as any other actor would. Not that I'm saying that I'm mad at him for saying that. But I just—"

"I get it. Really I do." I took his hand and gripped onto it comfortingly. "Look. Ever since Freddie died, Deacy has been—grieving. Just like he did for me, it was Freddie who helped bring Deacy out of his shell and become more involved with the band. Not just being the bass player or the quiet guy."

"The King of the one liners, the tie breaker of Queen." Joe stated.

"Yes, although John could be loud and rowdy when he wanted to. He was definitely Queen's wildcard, but he was also their Ace. Unpredictable but incredibly brilliant. Never have I met a bass player quite like him. Nor do I think I ever will." It was quiet for what felt like forever when Joe asked me.

"Do you—do you still speak to him? I mean, cause I read that you both basically grew up close together, even for being 11 years apart from each other."

"Yes. We actually lived 20 minutes from each other back in our youth. He was and will always be my brother mine." I sighed heavily. "And to answer your question, I must remind you he's always been.....a cautious subject to me. Any remembrance of Freddie just makes him break, and as I'm sure you've seen from my concert footages I, sometimes, subconsciously find myself doing some Freddie movements on stage. Whether it's flicking my wrist like he did, strutting around the stage or waving my arms like he did. Deacy's.....he knows those things. But he's always there for me when I needed him. The last time was—on the tragedy of 9-11."

"Wait you mean....."

"Jack's cousin Jared and his wife Gen, they—they were on the plane that was overtaken by the terrorists. Took five days to finally find their bodies. Jared holding Gen in his arms. It was a risk but—I knew Jack needed more support than just his American family. So he and I went over to John and Veronica's place. We went at the early mornings of course just so that way no one would spot us driving in midday and try to track us down, then at sunrise we walked up to the door and—there he was. When Jack told him what had happened, he—actually invited us in and allowed us to stay the entire time. He ended up being the right support Jack needed."

"Your husband and John were close?"

"Oh yes. More alike than you know. Both incredibly talented bass players. That's how Jack got Deacy's approval when Jack and I started hanging out. He even gave my husband private lessons."

"Wow."

"Yes. They were practically inseparable the two of them for that summer. Even during their rehearsals, you would see Deacy go in the corner and practice what riffs he'd teach my Jack next. However that was the last time I ever actually saw Deacy, 16 long years ago. Haven't gotten in contact with him since. But occasionally, at least according to Brian, he asks them how I'm doing as well as Jack."

"I hope he's living a quiet and happy life with his kids and wife."

"I know they are. I still keep in contact with Ronnie whenever I can, sometimes we go out shopping, fawn over grandchildren pics, and just catching up. She was the mother I needed when I first had Kelly."

"Sounds like she was the ultimate mama."

"You have no idea." I felt Joe place his free hand on top of mine that still had his. I smiled softly at him before I got down to the real reason why I brought him here. "Joseph, now I know that when it comes to acting, Hollywood can pick whomever they deem worthy for a role, especially if it's for a real person. I'll be honest with you; hearing your American accent puts me a little on edge. Cause I have heard some pretty bad English accents on screen that just make me want to pull my ears off agonizingly slow. Now I know Deacy has probably the most unique accent from anyone in Leicester, I mean you hear my accent and I sound nothing like his dialect. So what I want to ask of you, just for the sake of you playing my brother, may I hear you speak with John's accent?"

"What-what would you like me to say?"

"Maybe say what you did for the audition. Or anything that comes to your head. It doesn't even have to be an interview Deacy did, I just want to hear your accent." He nodded before sitting back on the couch while I leaned back on the chair.

He adjusted himself before finally miming that he was driving a car before he finally spoke about when Deacy first joined the band. The one interview he did during the 'News of the World' tour with Bob Harris.

I felt like at that moment my heart had stopped. My hands slowly covered my mouth in a prayer style while the corner of my eyes watered. And sure there were certain words that he said that still sounded American but—this was my brother. I....I was actually looking at my brother right now. They got it right.

By the end of it, Joe looked at me and his eyes grew concerned as he said.

"Did I screw up?" I stood up from my chair in silence. I then walked over to him and knelt down in front of him cupping his face. A wide smile spread across my face as I immediately hugged him and softly sobbed.

"You are my Deacy! My brother mine." I then felt him embrace me back and the two of us rocked side to side. I looked up to the heavens praying that Fred was looking down knowing he would've loved Joe playing his Deacy. "If you ever need any advice or help, I'm here for you. Promise me Joe Mazzello that you will come to me with anything regarding Deacy."

"I promise (y/n)." he still spoke with Deacy's accent which filled me with both sorrow and happiness.

We stayed that way for god knows how long. After composing myself, we left my trailer when one of the volunteers came up to us and said.

"Joe, they're ready to start filming the concert."

"Shall we go on?" I asked.

"Yes, let's." God he had my brother's quick wit already. He crooked his arm out which made me grin softly. I looped my arm through his and the two of us walked on towards the Live Aid stage.

I stood alongside Roger, Peter Freestone (Freddie's former assistant and the other consultant for the film) as well as Brian's youngest daughter Emily (who in every way was so much like her father from the hair to the smile).

"I think this will be a great shoot, don't you think (y/n)?" asked Peter.

"Indeed Pheebs. And I'm sure Freddie would've loved to have seen it."

"He would indeed." He said as he wrapped an arm around me and soon Brian came and stood beside us after being backstage with the young actors who then came out just as Queen did that day back in 85. When I saw the young actor playing our Freddie, I was already impressed.

Sure he was skinnier than Freddie was, but seeing him move about just as Freddie did it was like I was seeing Freddie right before my eyes. The boys got into position and soon began to perform the entire Live Aid concert.

Besides actually being there and seeing them perform from the wings that day over 30 years ago, this was about the greatest concert performance I had ever seen.

The boys in full costume had everything down. Gwilym channeled Brian's solo on Bohemian Rhapsody, Ben was pretty impressive on the drums, Joe had Deacy's rhythmic moves down, and the young man playing Freddie he—it was beyond what I could imagine. He wasn't just moving like Freddie, it was like he knew why Freddie would move a certain way to a song.

I was in awe cause it felt like I had actually traveled back in time and was watching Queen's most historical performance once again. I stood behind Brian and wrapped my arms around his shoulders leaning up against his head smiling from ear to ear, I felt Brian take one of my hands and gently patted it every now and then.

When the Aye-Oh's happened I could help but lowered my head and holding my laughs of joy. I swear when this is over, I need to talk to this new actor playing Freddie cause unlike Sacha, this was our Freddie. Soon Hammer to Fall came on and I couldn't help but bop my head along to the song.

I felt a tap at my shoulder and I turned to see Emily holding her phone out with the notes app open. In the app it read.

'Is this how you remember it Aunt (y/n)?' I walked towards her and gestured for me to have her phone. She handed it to me and I typed out.

'Everything and more. God I wish your cousin Kelly could've been here to see this as well as your uncle Jack. They would've loved it.' I showed her my message and she came up and wrapped her arms around my shoulders as the two of us smiled happily up at the stage.

When Hammer to Fall concluded, the extras and even me and team Queen applauded. I let out a loud whistle from the sidelines as I applauded and took pictures with my own phone to show Jack and the kids later. Now I recall that it was at this time the guys ended up surprising me and the world with our duet "Set it all free" instead of the planned 'Crazy Little thing called love'.

Now I've been skeptical about having a biopic film about me, even though I knew both Queen and Elton were starting theirs at the same time, hell one of the producers Dexter Fletcher is currently directing Elton's film 'Rocketman' as we speak right now. So I didn't know if they would plan to do Crazy little thing or if they'd go the set as it was all those years ago.

I got my answer however when Ben started to play the drum intro to my song.

"You guys didn't." I muttered.

"We wanted to be historically accurate with the Live Aid set." Brian started.

"So we cooked up a little surprise for you." Roger said. It was then I heard the actor playing Freddie began chanting out along with the audience "An-gel! An-gel! An-gel!" it was then I saw a young girl come out and—by god it was like looking at my younger self from that day.

She was dressed exactly how I was with a pregnant belly suit underneath her shirt. Her hair was designed the same way as mine was, everything just took me back. Instead of a playback that the Freddie actor was using for all the singing, this young woman was actually singing and she had a pretty good voice.

I continued to watch in awe as the young woman basically became me doing each step or movement I did that day on Live Aid. I felt Brian and Roger wrap their arms around me as I couldn't even take my eyes off the young woman up on stage. I could hear the extras singing out the lyrics, even some of the crew members were bopping their heads and singing along.

She walked across the stage at the second verse right towards the Freddie actor and just like Fred and I did, they stood forehead to forehead singing the duet before she walked back out and went back to center stage. When the guitar solo came on, my eyes turned to Gwilym and he amazed me that he actually could do my hard rock solo.

After the song was over, the crowd applauded and cheered and I turned to the guys and hugged them and whispered into their ears.

"If this is you guys way of trying to get me to sign onto a biopic film......I'm highly considering it after seeing her."

"We'll introduce you later." Said Roger as we separated from the hug and we turned our attention back to the guys as We Will Rock you now began playing. I couldn't help myself by stomp my feet to the rhythm and mouth out the words.

I was just amazed by not only Gwilym's guitar playing but also the young man who moved just like how I remembered seeing Freddie move, using the mic stand as Fred always did (the cheeky man), even the facial expressions that he made were exactly like they were.

It wasn't until when 'We are the champions' came on that I could barely hold my tears in. Seeing not only Fred's actor but my actor singing the famed Queen anthem that has literally been played in every victory sport or award winning singing competition.

Seeing the two of them interact with each other, it was pure nostalgia.

By the end of the song, tears welled up in my eyes and I looked toward the heavens hoping that Freddie could see this and running through my mind I already knew what he'd say.

"Amazing jobs my darlings, not as fabulous as me but very, very close." When the extras and even some crew members cheered, Brian, Roger, Peter, Emily and myself all applauded and cheered for the boys and that's when the director called cut.

"This.....is gonna be a great movie." I said.

"I think so too. After just seeing them come together like that, I think we've finally casted the right people to play us." Said Brian.

"I agree you two, I'm liking what I've just seen so far." Roger said.

"And—I'm sure he would've liked this too." I said solemnly. I felt Roger gently rub my back and Brian said.

"I know he would."

After a few more takes of filming the Live Aid concert, the director said that it was enough for today. I walked around the set to find the producer Graham King and when I approached him I asked him.

"Graham tell me, who's the young man you got to play Freddie?"

"Oh his name is Rami Malek. His recent project was a show called Mr. Robot."

"Ahh yes I've heard of that, my Freddie is obsessed with that show. Never misses an episode."

"When we were casting Freddie I happened to come across an episode and when I saw him I—just thought I was looking at Freddie. So we brought him in, he gave us a mock interview as well as an audition that your boys saw when they first met him. And from then on it just fell into place. Do you approve of him? Is there a problem Mrs. Kline?"

"Absolutely not. Do you know where I can find Rami at right now?"

"Probably in hair and makeup getting undressed."

"Well, when he is done would you be so kind as to bring him to my trailer?"

"Of course (y/n)." I nodded in gratitude and walked off to my trailer.

I sat there once again on the chair looking through an old photo album. Each picture held a deep and personal memory for me, I thought back to the day that each picture was taken and remembered exactly what was going on at that very moment.

A knock was soon heard at my trailer. I composed myself with a deep exhale and said.

"Come in." the door opened and there without costume or the tache was Rami Malek.

"Graham said you wanted to see me Mrs. Kline?"

"Yes Rami, love please come in." he stepped inside and shut the door behind him. "Take a seat." I gestured towards the couch. He sat right where Joe had sat down earlier this morning and I said. "Would you care for a biscuit, or as Americans call them cookies?"

"Uhh yes please." I smiled and handed him a tray of biscuits I always kept around me (hey a woman's gotta have her sweet tooth fix right?) and handed him my best plate of chocolate chip cookies (all thanks to my mother in law's secret recipe). He thanked me as he took one and took a bite out of it. "Mmm. Oh my god," he cleared his throat and closed his mouth before finishing the biscuit up. "This is so good."

"Thank you, it was my mother in law's secret recipe. She passed it onto me shortly before Kelly was born." He took another bite of it and swallowed that piece before saying as he set it down on a napkin that I had also provided.

"What-what was it you needed to see me for Mrs.—"

"Before we continue, I'll ask you to call me the same way I've asked the other three of the band to call me. Call me (y/n)."

"Yes of course, (y/n). What was it you wanted to see me for? Is it to talk about what you saw out there? Did I screw it up already?"

"No, no dear relax. This is nothing in the way you're thinking." I saw him take a sigh of relief.

"Oh good. Cause I know I obviously wasn't the first choice for the job."

"In my books Rami, you should've been the first one to be called for the role."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, but first there's a couple of questions that I want to ask you that Brian and Roger might not have asked you, and I want you to answer them as Freddie would've."

"Okay." I smiled softly and stood up from my seat as I set the phot album aside.

"Who is Queen not without?"

"That's easy. It's you darling. There's no Queen without their beloved Rock Angel, and no Rock Angel without her four aging Queens." I felt my heart clench at hearing Rami speak with a British tone. The softness of his voice almost sounded identical to Freddie's voice. I turned towards him and walked towards the kitchen area of my trailer.

"Who is it that you trust the most?"

"Mary. Mary is the one I trust the most. For she knows me like no one else ever will." I reached the kitchen and rested my hand against the island.

"Who are you?" Rami looked at me before finally answering something that would forever stun me.

"I've been asked that all my life. By my family, student peers, professors, the entire world. I've been told who I should strive to be but I say fuck what they say. They don't define me. No, I decided who I am. I'm going to be what I was born to be. A performer who gives the people what they want." He pointed towards the ceiling as he whispered, "touch of the heavens." He dropped his hand before finally answering, "Freddie Fucking Mercury."

My lips quivered and I ducked my head as tears began falling down my face for—god knows how many times right now.

"Oh (y/n) I—I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry, I—did I say something wrong?" Rami said urgently as he stood up and stood in front of me.

"No." I choked out. I sniffled and that's when he handed me a tissue. Oh ever the kind gentleman and concerned about my wellbeing, just like Freddie was. "No you—you've prove to me that you know just who Freddie truly was."

"Didn't want to be put in a certain category or be stereotyped." He said. I nodded as I wiped my tears with the tissue he had given me.

"For as long as I have known Freddie, especially to his last, various people have chosen one of two sides. There's the one side that the press made him out to be. The one that-that—bastard Cohen wanted to portray Freddie as. The wild, crazed, homosexual drug addict. That he deserved what he had gotten because he was so reckless and stupid. That AIDS was his form of suicide. Never did I want to punch and murder so many people. Every time I got asked about whether Freddie's death was his own fault, I just wanted to rip the interviewer apart."

"I can see why. I bet a lot of true fans and the people who knew Freddie well would've done what you've felt like doing."

"But people like you Rami, who understand that Freddie wasn't just a frontman or greatest performer to ever live. That he did come from a harsh background but rose above all the trials and tribulations that came his way to define himself as he sought out to be. That's why he was my biggest idol." I grabbed the photo album and sat down on the couch and opened it up taking out a picture that was always a favorite of mine.

It was a picture that Deacy took of Freddie and I together just after my very first performance as the Rock Angel at Madison Square Garden. Fred's arms wrapped around me as he had picked me up, huge wide smiles were spread across our faces. I felt a dip on my left side I looked up to see Rami sitting close beside me. He looked down at the picture before saying.

"Was this your first performance?"

"Yes. Out of four members of Queen, it was Freddie Mercury who truly believed that I could make a name for myself in the industry. Taught me everything there was into getting the self-confidence I needed to get up on that stage. Sure we had our ups and downs, but through all the falls we had, he never gave up on me. He gave up on no one that he loved. And Rami," we looked at each other and I told him the utmost truth, "If he were alive today, he would've loved you."

He smiled as I gently touched his cheek and the two of us looked through my photo album of every picture Freddie and I took throughout the 11 years I knew him.

At the end of the day, just before the four boys left to go hang out at a pub nearby, I stepped in and offered.

"Why not have dinner over at my place boys?"

"Oh we couldn't impose." Said Joe.

"Nonsense Joe, I insist and I won't take no for answer. Plus it'll be a more homely environment. You boys can't live on catering and pub foods for the next several months to a year. No I absolutely won't have it."

"Best go along with her boys, she got her persuasion from the best there was." Roger added in.

"Well—if you think it's a good idea." Said Gwilym.

"Of course it is. Now come on, you four can fit in my car. Let's go. Meet you there Brian and Roger?"

"We'll be right behind you love." Said Brian. I gestured the boys to follow me to my car. Ben sat up in the passenger seat, Joe sat behind him, Rami was in the middle and Gwilym sat behind me. I turned the engine on and told everyone to buckle up (mama instincts what can I say?) and we pulled out of the gate and I drove us on home.

"So (y/n), what other kind of music do you listen to?" asked Joe.

"Whatever song has a good voice and a good beat, with no autotune I will love. You can look through my Spotify and see what I have." Ben took my phone out of the phone holder and turned around as Joe took over the controls and went to my Spotify.

"Wow there are a lot of songs. And I thought you would've just stuck with what you grew up on."

"Unlike most rockstars like Roger who think everything after 1979 basically became trash music with the rise of pop or as they called it 'disco'. I'm a little more open minded. But I deny all songs that use explicit language every three words, degrading women, or promotes violence."

"You even got some old Christina Aguilera songs on here?" asked Rami.

"Who do you think helped produce her?"

"Shut the front door. You produced Christina Aguilera?"

"Yeah. I even gave her rights to a song that I wanted to do. But even singing it brought back some old wounds. So since I was helping her produce her album at the time, I turned to song over to her."

"What song was it?" asked Ben.

"Fighter."

"Shut up! That was literally my jam."

"I can attest to that. Throughout the filming of The Pacific, he would never shut that song off when getting into Eugene's character for certain episodes." Rami rose his hand.

"Yeah. I have an entire playlist of some songs I helped produce or make. You can play that playlist if you'd like. Or my typical playlist my boys best songs."

"I think in the light of our first day filming, we should go with Queen. What do you guys say?" Joe asked.

"Agree."

"Yep."

"Oh yeah."

"Aright then Joe, we'll each pick our favorite Queen song. You're up first little Tim." He grinned and scrolled through my playlist until Somebody to love came up on the speakers. "Read my mind Joseph." The piano began playing and that's when I vocalized alongside Freddie and the five of us began singing the song at the top of our lungs.

The entire car ride contained each of us picking our top favorite songs. Ben did 'White Queen' which I commended on him cause people nowadays tend to forget the old Queen songs, Gwilym picked Love of my Life, Rami chose Radio Gaga, and I, of course chose Bohemian Rhapsody.

Thanks to Wayne's world (yes I saw the movie and yes it was silly but just the opening scene alone made the movie worth watching) we basically did the same motion by motion that those boys did in the film when the operatic section came on. And of course when the headbanging rock out came on, the boys proceeded to bang their hands while I did mine not as aggressively (responsible driving kids!)

We continued to rock out to the song and it wasn't until by the end of the song that we soon arrived at my home. I pulled the car up into the garage and hit the clicker button which opened up the garage door and I pull inside just as the last line came up and Roger's gong rang off. I shut the engine and said.

"Here we are boys, welcome to casa de la Kline." We all exited out of my car and right behind us as scheduled were Brian and Roger with Bri getting out of the driver's seat. "Bout time you two got here, I was beginning to worry that I'd need to call in an ambulance."

"We're old dear, not dead." Roger sassed at me.

"But I still love you old coots. Just like I said all those years ago."

"That I do remember, the day right after you got so shitfaced after your 21st birthday. You remember that Brian?" Roger said.

"Indeed I do Rog, I even remember what we did to her to get her to apologize, think we need to do it again?"

"That might have to be arranged."

"Oh no you guys don't! We're not doing that now, now let's get inside before we all catch a cold." I guided them all inside. Once we stepped through the backdoor of the garage I could already smell something cooking, and I knew who exactly was cooking at this rate. "Baby! I'm home!" I called out from the hallway.

We turned the corner and soon came to the kitchen where a young man of 19 (going on 20 in a couple months) stood by the oven. He shut it off and turned around. He was every bit like his father when I first met him back in '83, but he had my eyes. When he saw me, he softly smiled and I came up to him.

"Sorry I didn't call in advance telling you that we would have more guests than your uncles."

"No worries mom. You know I've always cooked way more than I should." I smiled and cupped his face and we kissed each other's cheek. "Uncle Brian, uncle Roger."

"Hello Fred." Brian greeted.

"Hey lad, how's school been?"

"Oh you know, NYU's a challenge but I manage." He then directed his attention towards the young actors but when he eyes landed on Rami, he quickly grabbed my arm and whispered to me. "You didn't tell me you'd be bringing Rami Malek to our house!"

"Again slipped my mind." I teased him.

"Mom how dare you bring my celebrity crush here without telling me, look at me I'm a mess."

"Oh you're fine. Now best behavior." I wrapped an arm around my son and said. "Boys, this is my youngest son Freddie Mercury Kline. Fred, these are the boys that will be playing your uncles. This is Joe Mazzello, he'll be playing your uncle Deacy. Ben Hardy who's playing your old uncle Roger."

"Watch it lion cub." Rog warned me. I gave him a cheeky look before continuing the introductions.

"Gwilym Lee will be playing your uncle Brian, and you know Rami, he'll be playing the man you were named after."

"Uncle Freddie?"

"Yes. And—from what I've seen so far, you'll finally get to meet him through the screen."

"I don't doubt that. I'm a big fan of yours Rami, your role in Mr. Robot has been—amazing."

"I'm honored."

"Alright since we've all had a long day today, let's get some grub. Everyone grab a plate." I grabbed some extra plates from the cabinet and handed four plates out to the actors and we all assembled around the island to grab a piece of lasagna, peas, mashed potatoes with gravy and Hawaiian rolls.

Once we gathered around the table I set out the iced tea Jack had made a couple of days ago as well as some champagne or wine. "Okay guys, before we dig in I want all hands on deck." I extended my hand out.

Freddie immediately placed his hand on top of mine, Brian and Rog soon followed after and it was then Rami, Gwilym, Joe and finally Ben placed their hands on top.

"Thank you for this family, thank you for this meal. Thank you for this day. It'll be a wild ride, but I feel this movie will soar, and—that this new family will forever stay." I said ending the traditional family prayer. The young actors looked at me with warm eyes and soft smiles.

"Alright, let's dig in. You boys will never eat the same way again once you taste (y/n)'s cooking." Roger said.

"That bad?" joked Joe. I gawked at the young cheeky actor.

"On the contrary she's the best chief on this side of London. Even when she was an intern she made us this one Christmas pudding that was to die for." Brian spoke on my behalf.

"It's true. She put all the other PTA mom's to shame when it came to my school's bake sales." Freddie said as he took a bite of his lasagna.

The entire dinner was filled with talks about our lives, stories and embarrassing moments in life. Not a single person was excluded from a conversation. After dinner, Rami and Gwilym helped Freddie with the dishes while I got some other scrapbooks out and bonded a bit with Ben and Joe about my time with Rog and Deacy.

"Now this Joe was taken during my first Japan tour. At the very garden where Queen went to near the Tokyo tower, Deacy refused to let me leave without having a cherry blossom crown."

"He seems to be doing good in the picture."

"Except one twig got so tangled in my hair it literally took 15 minutes just to get it out." We both laughed before I turned the page and found a great picture of me and Roger. "Now this picture Ben, both Roger and I have this picture, this was taken after my first Hyde Park performance."

"She performed to an audience of half of what Queen did when we performed at Hyde Park." Roger spoke.

"She could've performed for more but times changed and better security measure for the public's safety prevented it from happening again." Brian added.

"One thing's for sure, I was damn well proud of her for performing at her biggest crowd at the time just barely two years into her career." Roger spoke again. I looked up and winked at him.

"You guys really do have that father-daughter bond don't you?" Joe said.

"Have ever since she gave me the real 1 and 3/7th's sugar."

"It wasn't until Brian told me the next day that Roger just says that to pull people's leg. God I felt embarrassed after that."

"Aww lovie, but it was due to that I became your favorite. And I don't regret it as I'm sure you don't."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." As Gwilym, Rami and Freddie came back in I continued going through the scrapbook sharing my photos of my days with Queen with the boys, and allowing Freddie to finally hear all the stories that he was denied cause of my grief.

As the night got darker and darker, the young actors at this moment were so full of food and exhausted from a long day's filming they actually passed out along my living room. Joe and Ben cuddled up on the couch, Rami asleep on the recliner, while Gwilym was curled up along the loveseat.

Meanwhile I was watching over them and couldn't help but think it was like seeing my boys all over again. I remember back when I was still an intern and would see the guys all passed out whether at Freddie's parties or in the studio, I always had to provide the guys comfort (which I never minded). So seeing these four young men passed out just brought me a sense of nostalgia.

"I got the spare blankets mom."

"Thank you dear. Your uncles tucked in the spare bedrooms?"

"Uncle Brian's in the room across yours and dad's and uncle Roger is in Georgie's old room."

"Good boy." I then proceeded to cover up and adjust the young actors. I wrapped both Joe and Ben in the same blanket and closed Joe's mouth gently so that he wouldn't drool in his sleep, followed by giving them each a soft kiss goodnight. Without trying to wake him up, I uncurled Gwilym from his pretzel position and covered him up.

I gingerly stroked through his hair before placing a soft kiss to his temple. He groaned and lifted his head up which allowed me to place a pillow underneath him. He hummed in content as he snuggled into it. I then went over to Rami and adjusted the seat so that he would be more comfortable. Pressing the button on our automatic recliner, his legs slowly rose up before finally stopping in full recliner mode.

I tucked him in while looking down at him. God even without the tache it was like looking at Freddie from when I first met him in person at a concert, long before I became an intern. I gently kissed his cheek before faintly stroking his cheek.

Sitting outside along the deck, Freddie and I were looking up at the stars.

"So you think this movie's gonna be a hit?"

"Critics are always hard to please, no matter if it's music or movies. From what I've read of the script yes there's misinformation but that's why it's called a biopic. There's some truth but it's the touch of Hollywood in order to make the film not a boring documentary. But those four boys, they are just how I remember your uncles being when I not only worked with them, but grew up with them hearing their music."

"I wish I had gotten the chance to meet uncle Freddie." Fred said after a brief moment of silence. I turned to him to see him looking down sadly.

"So do I love. He would've loved you as much as he did your brothers and sister. And he would've been over the moon had he found that I had named you after him." I brought my baby close and he wrapped his arms around me as we both looked up at the moon and the stars together.

The star right by the moon glowed the brightest, the very same star that shined just as bright the night after the tribute concert we did back in '92. I couldn't help as a tear slid down my face and a smile spread across my face.

I knew that it was Freddie's star, telling me that he was watching us and that he was proud.

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 4 years ago

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Black Widow

I don’t think anything is as frustrating to me in the MCU as the way it has done Natasha Romanoff dirty. Nine years after Natasha became more than just a sexpot spy in a catsuit and actually got to help save the world in The Avengers, here we are with her very own movie, approximately eight years too late. If I sound bitter, it’s because I am. Endgame left a bad taste in my mouth, and I wasn’t sure why I should even care about a new MCU story set in the recent past about a woman the Marvel movies really haven’t known what to do with in any meaningful way since the bright shining glory that was Winter Soldier. But, you give me Rachel Weisz and Florence Pugh and David Harbour as a Russian spy found family, and I’m willing to at least hear you out.

Spoiler-free synopsis: Basically, after the events of Civil War, Natasha (Scarlett Johansson) is on the run and someone comes looking for a package she has in her possession. That leads her to steal the contents of the package and hunt down its origins - her original family, a group of deep undercover Russian spies (Weisz, Harbour, and unknowing baby sister Pugh). In the process of getting the band back together, Nat learns the truth about a job from her past and the bulk of the movie is her going on a mission to make things right with bickering family of grumpy Russians in tow. The action scenes are tight, with some truly breathtaking sequences (an aerial fight near the end is a real knockout). Pugh is the MVP of the film, taking the role of comic relief as well as the emotional core, and her performance as Yelena is worth the price of admission alone. Weisz could step on my face and I’d say thank you, as per usual. Cate Shortland’s direction is competent, but nothing to write home about - she keeps the action moving, the pace brisk, and she lets the emotional beats breathe, so I suppose the movie’s unremarkable direction is probably a sign that it’s more good than bad. Her vision is strongest when she’s engaging with the theme of the subjugation of women and the trail of broken bodies that subjugation leaves in its wake.

As for the story itself, I enjoyed it because I care about Natasha and I crave more than anything more opportunities for her to be herself (not some pointless eye candy or over-the-top seductress as a form of nerd wish fulfillment), which this movie delivers. But even in her own movie, I couldn’t help but feel the shadow of the rest of the Avengers looming large in ways they don’t in say, an Iron Man or a Thor movie. All the payoffs to things we’ve heard about in Nat’s backstory - Budapest, Dreykov’s daughter - come from ensemble movies, and there are a ton of visual references and homages that can’t be coincidental to Black Panther, Captain America, and the SHIELD helicarrier from The Avengers. At least this movie has some Very Good Pigs as a highlight too.

Is this a good Black Widow movie? Yeah, I think so! I enjoyed my time and I’m glad it was made. Is it the best Black Widow movie? Nah, that’s still Winter Soldier. Is it the Black Widow movie we deserved? Absolutely not, because we deserved one eight years ago. Maybe in some other timeline in the multiverse folks got that movie, and they got to live in a world where Nat wasn’t an afterthought in her own damn franchise.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#121in2021 #black widow movie #black widow review #black widow #Scarlett Johansson #scarjo #rachel weisz #florence pugh #david harbour #cate shortland #mcu #movie reviews #film reviews

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jayjaysocks · 5 years ago

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Listing my favorite animes (because I’m jumping on the bandwagon)

❗️⚠️ *spoilers!! (Duh)* ❗️⚠️

5. Deadman Wonderland

I was really really sad when I found out this anime got cancelled. The music was fantastic, the animation was really good, and the voice acting was incredible. Even the fucking dubbed version (I loved the voice they chose for Senji. God he was hilarious). I binged this show so fucking fast it wasn’t even funny. I loved watching the characters go through their own struggles and grow as people in the very small amount of episodes provided. There was a lot of development within the snippet that we actually saw, and I was thoroughly impressed with how well it was done. I wanted to scream or something when I found out there wouldn’t be a second season.

Sigh. Oh well. At least we got some of the manga’s masterpiece translated into a show, even if we were missing some fucking awesome characters.

4. Guilty Crown

Ugh, don’t even get me started. This anime was beautiful and I got so invested so freaking quickly. I literally go back every few years to rewatch it because I get ship starved.

Shu and Inori’s story was so beautifully done; between Shu uncovering his courage and Inori’s journey of self-discovery, I was continuously awe-struck and filled with feelings—I mean, I had never felt such raw emotion while watching something and I was completely blown away by the affect it had on me. Anger, hatred, sadness, it was all there (even for the main character lmao) and it was one of the first times I had ever felt a ship so heavily that I literally cried at the end. It was one of the very first Animes I’d ever seen and was one of the reasons I got such a taste for them. Thanks for throwing me down that rabbit hole, GC.

3. Soul Eater

This was literally the first Anime I’d ever seen, and my god I couldn’t have asked for a better starter. What I like about this one is that it’s style is so unique and different. It’s very punk and grunge, something I admired and appreciated in a genre that is normally the opposite (like Guilty Crown, for example). Also the fight scenes were badass, like holy shit just look at that gif ??? Freaking amazing.

I loved the way the show transitioned from light hearted to intense and adrenaline pumping so effortlessly. That can be said about a lot of shows, but this one went from *haha cute show* to *holy shit, like they’re actually gonna die ohmygod howaretheygoingtosurvivethis* so smoothly I was genuinely surprised. They made one of the main villains actually cool and each character had their own beautifully done arc. I loved and adored how the show solidified and expanded on the different friendships/relationships that were involved—specifically Soul and Maka’s (also, holy shit, Stein’s arc? Fucking prime, dude). There was a lot of growth in each and every friendship (CRONA!!!), and that really pushed the viewer to invest in the individual characters.

I am fucking delighted that this was my first anime, and (though the ending was a little anticlimactic) it remains one of my top favorites to this day. It set the bar pretty fucking high, and for that I am extremely greatful.

No one asked for Soul Eater: Not! It is the unspoken sin of the Soul Eater world (then again, it is called Soul Eater: Not!)

2. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

If you have been following me for a while, then you are no stranger to my love of FMAB. Some of my most popular posts are about this anime, and for good reason.

Unfortunately, I was late to the party. I actually didn’t watch this until last year, but got invested really damn quick. I have a tendency to be extremely picky about the animes that I watch/like (which is why NONE of these shows are that recent), to the point that I will literally research them before I start watching (a bad habit, do not copy me). I have an incomparably hard time finishing a show when I start, because I get bored really quickly, but this was an exception. I started watching and I just... didn’t stop. I spent a straight week watching FMAB, gobbling it up during any small amount free time I could manage, and finished it before I even knew what happened. I wasn’t picky about it, I didn’t research it, I just dove right in and gosh, I was not disappointed.

The subtle romance that was alluded throughout the entire show was super cute, the devotion the brothers had for each other was to die for, and the struggles that each person went through was more than moving. I never once found myself bored while watching, and that’s saying a lot for my adhd ass. I was invested in each and every second of that damn anime and I was never, ever left underwhelmed. That probably had to do with the fact that every. Single. Character. Had a purpose. I’m not even kidding. Every single person contributed to the big fight at the end and that alone is fucking fantastic.

Not to mention ALL the women, every female character, was a badass bitch. None of them were reduced to sex appeal or romantic subplot, they all had real feelings, real arcs and real, unadulterated badassery that I thoroughly admired and appreciated. I could watch this anime over and over again every single month and I wouldn’t get bored. Between the emotional struggle, self discovery, and personal development of each character, I promise you will not see a lack of plot or meaning here. The more you watch, the more you discover and that is not a lie. There are so many layers to its story, which only makes me wish I had watched this sooner.

There is nothing I have to offer in the ways of criticism, and for that I couldn’t be happier. Thank you, Hiromu Arakawa, for such an incredible piece of art. You deserve every bit of love that this manga/anime gets. You go girl.

1. Cowboy Bepop

Holy shit holy shit holy shit this anime is so fucking good and it has been my favorite for so damn long. I have been watching anime for years, and while some of the shows in my list have moved around, this one has yet to be bumped down from the top (and I doubt it ever will). There’s a reason it became such a cult classic.

For starters, the animation. I mean, just look at Spike and the way they animate his fighting (yes I am aware that this gif is from the movie, but that still doesn’t change my point). The sequences in the show/film have been reused in many other shows and for good reason. It’s good, incredible, actually and they make him look so badass with just a few hand movements. I was consistently impressed with the way the fight scenes were portrayed and wasn’t ever left underwhelmed or disappointed (or, for that matter, feeling like they completely over exaggerated/overcompensated the scene with huge close-ups and tons of debris and lights). I loved watching this and my heart was always pounding with every intense interaction. I didn’t feel bored during any of the episodes and always found myself laughing when they cracked a joke—pretty much all of their funny lines hit and that’s saying something, dude.

The show, while having a lighthearted surface, has a heavy meaning that you don’t see at first glance. It’s about dealing with grief and loss, and how the characters themselves accomplished that in different ways. The most prominent quote is the biggest indication of its moral “you’re gonna carry that weight”. Basically: ‘You’ve gotta pick up your baggage, because the world moves on, with or without you’. Or ‘You’re going to carry that weight whether you like it or not, because life keeps going’. When I figured out the show’s actual message, while staring at my ceiling in the long hours of the night, I almost cried. This realization brought something entirely different to the table, a new understanding of the show’s characters and overall essence.

The main characters, all of them, had depth. They had real, palpable depth, and even if you didn’t want to care you found yourself seriously interested in their lives. Each of them had relatively shitty pasts. Faye with her lost memories, Spike with Julia and the people who fucked him over, Jet with his old flame and the ISSP, Ed and her/his father... throughout the entire show we got to see how all of them dealt with these things, whether they wanted to continue on with life or not. The way they portrayed it was engaging, because the characters individual, contrasting journeys weren’t repetitive or one note. The beauty that the show holds so achinging close to its core, the layers of grief that the characters are wrapped in so delicately is almost suffocatingly real—because they’re all different. It’s something you discover when you think on the subject in a deeper light, which is another reason why I enjoy it so much. It has both a surface story and a deeper one. You can either take the show at face value or choose to understand the underlying moral.

This show inspired my very first, thoroughly fleshed out OC, and continues to inspire me to this day. It has contributed to my own personal growth, and has helped push me to continue my art and writing. It is beautifully written, beautifully executed and even though some of the episodes seem like filler, it has never disappointed me. I rewatch it all the time because there’s something so infinitely refreshing about the beauty of this anime, whether it be the way we watch the characters develop or the overall moral it portrays. This show has given us a message that is essentially timeless, it can be ‘carried’ through generation after generation, and still have the same impact—something I absolutely fucking adore.

I owe so much to this anime, including my very own artistic development. I discovered it during a really shitty time in my life and I couldn’t have asked for better timing. I will never tire of the bittersweet message or the thoroughly fucking fantastic animation. Everyone who contributed to this masterpiece deserves love, because it’s seriously fucking gold.

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seriousfic · 5 years ago

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Terminator: Dark Fate

I have no idea how TSCC came up with two seasons’ worth of innovative scenarios about Terminators and these cinematic universe motherfuckers can only redo T2 with more CGI.

This movie is plotless. It has no real plot. It’s like Now That’s What I Call A Terminator Movie! There are so many callbacks and borrowings from all the other Terminator movies that it passes the point of homage and just becomes plagiarism. The bad Terminator is the same as the T-X, metal endoskeleton with a T-1000 shell. They kill him with a Terminator power core. They say Come With Me If You Want To Live and I’ll Be Back (twice! It’s the first thing Sarah Connor says and it makes no sense in context, it’s just something people say in Terminator movies). In fact, it has anti-plot, since it undoes a lot of the story developments in Terminator and T2.

The premise is basically just we’re going to remake Terminator 1, but people don’t like reboots, so we’re going to bring back Linda Hamilton and make it a technically kinda sorta sequel (sure, Skynet was wiped from existence, but another, completely different, yet exactly the same AI called Legion was created and did the exact same thing. Which also happened in T3, but they had the decency to still call it Skynet). But otherwise, it’s entirely people being chased by an evil robot from the future and trying to destroy it.

That’s it. That’s all there is to it. T2 had the whole thing about preventing Judgment Day before it happened. T3 had Judgment Day actually happen. This one, nothing. There is nothing going on under the surface other than a bunch of action sequences and explosions. Even T3 got some mileage out of the idea that Judgment Day was inevitable. Here, our cast learns that Judgment Day was already ‘averted’ once slash that it’s destined to be repeated and they basically go “Eh. Figures.” I’m not kidding.

Wait, that’s not fair. Let’s count out the TWEEESTS.

1. In a very contrived way, the script waits an hour and a half to actually explain why heroine Dani has been targeted for termination--you know, the thing Kyle Reese explained to Sarah Connor the moment they were out of danger--all to set up this big ‘reveal’ that Dani isn’t the NuSarah, she’s the NuJohn (yes, they actually say this aloud, just so you soup sandwich motherfuckers in the audience get it). Hear that, neckbeards, John Connor is now a woman! And Mexican! And she’s got a bit of a gay vibe, because it’s 2019 and God forbid we have a heroine that isn’t a bit bicurious. If she has a cock and balls, my bingo card will be a winner.

2. Months after killing John Connor and thus completing his mission, an Arnold-model Terminator started a family (wow, that was quick) and learned the value of human life and eventually switched sides. This is a crazy new idea that also happened in Terminator: Genebissss, so it’s done and dusted in ten minutes, even though Arnold is the most engaging character. (He’s saddled with a lot of yuk lines about how he’s a comically serious Terminator, yet (teehee) works as an interior decorator, but at least he has a personality.)

3. The other good Terminator is Grace, who needs meds to keep up her cyborg strength or she’ll crash (this never affects the plot) (it’s like they read something about Rey Palpatine having no flaws and so they decided to give Grace the ‘flaw’ of literally having her own Kryptonite). She’s not a Terminator, she’s an augmented human, which means she can make MCU-style wisecracks every five minutes. (”I didn’t hear anything.” “That’s because you’re not a cybernetic super soldier from the future.” Actual dialogue.)

4. Linda Hamilton is back, baby! Yes, that’s right, they dragged her away from doing guest spots on Lost Girl! Can you believe???? She’s become a Terminator hunter that ambushes Terminators as they come back from the future and destroys them, because Skynet was both able to send back an infinite number of Terminators AND because now they can easily be destroyed by one five-hundred-year-old woman.

This makes it a bit confusing why they have so much trouble taking out Ghost Rider, given that he’s a T-1000 skin with a creamy T-800 center. It seems like if you hammer him enough, he’s got no endoskeleton, and that’s all she wrote. That’s what happened to the T-X. Can his liquid metal skin just walk around without the other half of him? If so, what’s the point of the endoskeleton? The T-1000 managed without it and that seemed a lot harder to kill. At one point, Sarah hits the bare endoskeleton with a bazooka, which seems like it should’ve been a mortal blow, but it’s the first act, so I guess not.

And is it supposed to be funny that the opening takes place in a car factory where (in 2019!) the human workers are losing their assembly line jobs to machines? Because they’re all Mexicans? None of them ever look at a Terminator and go THEY TOOK OUR JOBS, but man, that one is all teed up for the Rifftrax boys.

For a movie with, as I said, no plot, it’s very rushed. They seem to be saying “yeah, it’s a dumb Terminator movie, you know the score,” (even tho it’s halfway aimed at people who aren’t Terminator fans; more on that in a minute) because it seems to take all of ten minutes for both good guys and bad guys to find Dani and start getting into CGI stunt double fights, which means the story has very little time to breathe and we have very little time to get to know any of the characters. The bad guy spawns practically at Dani’s front door! And pretty much does everything by massacring a bunch of people and then hacking a computer. The T-1000 had some intelligence, some charisma. This guy’s a big nothing.

And the Dani character is useless. She starts the story already super assertive, is barely traumatized at all by her loved ones being killed and her own life being endangered. There’s none of that relatable feel of an everyman suddenly being told they have a grand destiny and an incredible responsibility, because right from the start she’s standing up to her mean boss and doing the Nevertheless She Persisted thing. And all this while being literally five feet tall and looking all of twelve years old.

I love these Spy Kids movies.

And at least the original two movies were smart enough to leave the future John Connor mostly to the imagination. This one actually shows us Dani as grizzled military badass, beating up guys and delivering inspiring speeches (would it surprise you to know that humans fighting among each other “is exactly what Legion wants”?), and it’s just--oh man. If ever a political leader is enough to make people think back to the good old days of Trump and Biden...

And if we’re going to talk shit (rightfully) about Jai Courtney’s Kyle Reese not being at all scruffy or traumatized or feral, it should be noted that Grace seems pretty well-adjusted for a post-apocalyptic guerrilla fighter (who all wear Starship Trooper uniforms). Aside from a tendency to smash the face in of everyone she comes across, whether they’ve done anything to deserve it or not (Sample dialogue, to a doctor who is looking at her X-rays after performing life-saving surgery on her: “Did I give you permission to look at my private parts?” SMASH. No, really!)

They really go all in on this cringey, woke af “You’re not the mother of some MAN, Dani. YOU ARE THE FUTURE!” And yet, there’s a hilarious amount of toxic masculinity in this movie, just without the dongs. About every other line Sarah and Grace have is generic tough guy bullshit about how they’re going to kick someone’s ass, how they’re suspicious of someone, how they’re hostile towards someone. If they had dongs, you would think they were the smallest dongs possible, because they are compensating for something, BIG TIME. Between the T-800 and Sarah and Grace, everyone in this movie seems to outright hate each other, to the point that Arnold’s killer cyborg is one of the more pleasant characters. It gets to where you just want someone to order a fucking decaf. Does the fact that Sarah Connor has a vagina keep it from being ridiculously over the top how she spends all her time either blowing up robots or drinking herself into a stupor? C’mon. You can’t complain about male characters having ‘man-pain’ then give Bad Grandma a pass over her ovaries.

And that’s it. It’s a Brundlefly shit between yet another dumb girlpower reboot for the people who’ve never seen a Terminator movie and a sequel with Sarah and Uncle Bob to try and get that last drop of blood outta this stone. They’re trying to make something that appeals to both people for whom this is their first Terminator and people for whom this is their latest Terminator and it just doesn’t work. The newbies don’t have any emotional investment in these characters and the Terminator fans don’t like it that all the old movies were rendered meaningless to prop up Grace and Dani.

Hilariously enough, I actually played Terminator: Resistance recently, which is a fun little mid-tier shooter that was meant to tie in to this movie... and it completely ignores all the Dani/Grace/Legion BS to take place in John Connor’s future war and tie in to the first two movies. That’s how forgettable this movie is. Its own damn video game adaptation pretends it doesn’t exist. Fuuuck.

Oh! Oh! Oh! And in that big, bad, sexist original Terminator, which was so unwoke and problematic, Sarah saved herself and finished off the Terminator herself. Here, Dani has to be saved by Arnold at the climax. The 35-year-old movie is more feminist than this one. Fuck you very much.

#terminator

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canmom · 5 years ago

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Animation Night 19 - Gotta Go Fast!

It’s Wednesday, which is not Thursday, but hey, racing ahead is on-theme, right?

So far on animation night we’ve focused on specific directors and franchises. A couple who absolutely deserve a look-in are Takeshi Koike and Hiroyuki Imaishi. We’ve seen both directors’ short film work already on animation night, but when it comes to pulling out feature films, I face the problem that both mostly worked on franchise films - Lupin III for Koike, and Gurren Lagann for Imaishi. Tricky things to jump in to without context.

So here’s the plan: I’m gonna grab two of their standalone films into an animation night, on the basis that they have a similarly frenetic, over the top energy, and scatter in some short films which touch on the same style...

With that in mind, the plan tomorrow is to watch Redline and Promare, two of the most ridiculously stylish anime films in the last couple of decades!

So let’s talk a bit about the work we’re gonna see. Takeshi Koike is now known for having one of the most distinctive visual styles in anime, but it took a many years for his talents to be noticed - for a long time, he was just making inbetweens for Madhouse. He got his break when he directed an outstanding title sequence for the live action film Party 7, and that made enough of an impact that he started getting more projects: an OVA called Trava: Fist Planet (a prequel to Redline) and, most famously, the short World Record in the Animatrix, which we watched a few months ago.

Koike’s style features heavy black shading, exaggerated limbs and hands, and big gestures and motions. It’s immediately recognisable and incredibly striking. As an animator turned director, he would animate a lot of shots himself, with a lot of very technical extreme perspective and smooth full frame animation. And he makes this incredibly difficult stuff look completely natural - this guy is really unusually skilled.

Now, Madhouse were suitably impressed with Koike after the success of shorts like World Record and contributions to other work like the Samurai Champloo opening that they finally let him set out on his passion project, a sci-fi racing film called Redline. The production sprawled out, ending up taking seven years and going massively over time, but the result is something to behold. It’s packed with striking images and incredible shots - the one at the top of this post, where the car stretches and warps around the camera,is probably the most memorable for me.

Redline is not remotely a subtle film. It’s completely full-on: each of the racers is an extreme character in their own right, the cars transform and shoot missiles and do all sorts of shit; the track is, as you’d expect, packed with hazards; the story is mostly just a vehicle for wildly staged scenes; the soundtrack really goes. It’s just a stupid amount of fun and I can’t wait to watch it again.

But, given its troubled production, it would be hard for Redline to turn a profit. Although it’s become a cult classic, Imaishi didn’t get to continue to push his style, and Redline remains a unique one-off. Instead, Koike has since generally directed films based on his co-animator Sayo Yamamoto’s update of Lupin III. I can’t tell you how well these films work, but Yamamoto is absolutely a talented director in her own right (best known for Yuri! on Ice), so I hope to show some of those films on some future Lupin-themed animation night.

Still, that means we have to look elsewhere. And if anyone could match the sheer amount of bombast and energy contained in Redline, it would be Hiroyuki Imaishi, the co-founder of Studio Trigger.

Studio Trigger is one of the two major inheritors of Gainax, but particularly late Gainax - not so much the Gainax of Wings of Honnêamise and Neon Genesis Evangelion as the Gainax of Diebuster, FLCL and, especially, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. We had a look at early Gainax last week, focusing on the career of Hideaki Anno, but Gainax trained many other incredible animators and directors, and Imaishi is probably the best known after Anno.

Imaishi’s had a ton of hits, but his best known may still be Gurren Lagann. In the wake of NGE’s psychological depression bomb, Gainax switched tracks to make something a tad more energetic, an incredibly over the top super robot story about giant drills, believing in each other, and shouting while flying (eventually) galaxy sized mechs... which I regret to say I have still never seen! I know, I know, I’m a fake weeb girl. So apologies if my description is a bit off.

What I can say is that Gurren Lagann is a massively stylistically influential anime; you can see its influence not just in the works of Trigger but also in other recent action anime such as Deca-Dence. And a lot of that has to do with Imaishi’s development of his predecessor’s style - that of the renowned Yoshinori Kanada.

Kanada, one of the first big ‘charisma animators’ to get a reputation just for the quality of his animation work, established a lot of what we now think of as ‘anime style’: flashy effects, shiny speculars, big held poses, blocky cel shading. Perhaps at some point down the line I can find a way to feature his work on animation night. He’s influenced an absolute ton of people.

Imaishi’s work, as this panel discusses, pushes Kanada’s style further: simplifying the shading, exaggerating the blocky shapes, and developing the use of colour. One thing that stands out throughout all of Trigger’s anime is absolutely incredible use of colour, most noticeably with the frequent strong, saturated reds standing out amidst otherwise desaturated palettes. That’s less on Imaishi than art directors like Tamotaka Kubo, but in any case, I love it.

Prior to being ‘the Studio Trigger guy’, Imaishi worked on one other major project besides Gurren Lagann, a kind of silly sex comedy(?) called Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, about a group of angels named after underwear(?). I honestly can’t tell you very much about this, beyond that it has a much more simplified cartoony style. It certainly wasn’t to be the last of Imaishi’s works to deal with more or less explicit sexuality...

Imaishi’s first major project at Trigger was Kill la Kill, funded off proceeds from their Kickstarted short film Little Witch Academia. KlK pretty much set the tone for much of Trigger’s work: breakneck pace, unbelievable composition, impeccable editing.

It’s somewhere in the vicinity of magical girl, though it owes most of the style to Gurren Lagann; it’s a world where Japanese high schools stage wars of conquest, the world is being invaded by sapient clothing resisted by an organisation called ‘Nudist Beach’, and to fight one must wear a transforming, blood-drinking uniform. Despite the absurdly over the top framing, packed with puns and regional jokes, it also I think has a pretty strong story about self-definition and kind of lesbian resistance to the prurient designs of abusive adults - though admittedly not everyone is going to share that reading, and it has been more than a little controversial.

Kill la Kill’s main limitation was its tiny budget, but it’s a limitation Trigger turned into an advantage, really pushing the cheaper scenes in extreme directions full of dramatic compositions and lens flares, and then dropping hardcore sakuga when it counted. They went on to make more and more incredibly striking shows, benefiting from the international popularity of projects like the Little Witch Academia series. Imaishi directed one series, called Space Patrol Luluco, but I can’t tell you a lot about it.

That brings us to Promare, which dropped only last year. Imaishi’s prior work (excepting the Gurren Lagann film) was mostly in TV animation, so with a film budget and the experience of a decade at Trigger, he could really go all out. There’s basically nothing that looks like Promare. It takes Trigger’s extreme stylishness and use of colour and pushes it even further, full of beautiful, hyper-angular flames rendered in pastel pinks and greens. The animation is some of the smoothest Trigger has ever done,

Much like KlK, it goes ludicrously hard. The plot starts out at 11 and never stops escalating. Roughly, it’s a story about a world in which certain humans once suddenly became ‘Burnish’, people who constantly produce fire; our main characters are a buff firefighter/mech pilot Galo and a Burnish anarchist (I guess?) twink called Lio. So is it a story about these two battling it out? Nah that’s just like the first ten minutes. Before long, Galo falls in with the Burnish, realises they’re not as bad as he thought, and ends up allying with them against the big genocidal dictator guy who wants to use the Burnish to power a spaceship. Or something. There’s an evil cop with an enormous jaw. And aliens.

People have interpreted Promare in various ways, e.g. the Burnish as a gay metaphor, and certainly the main pair seem pretty into each other even if it’s kept implicit throughout. Burning passion and firey personalities are like... pretty much the norm for Trigger and this doesn’t take it much further in literalising the metaphor. But mostly it’s sooo shiny! The effects animation and use of colour in this film is just unreasonable: this is what happens when Studio Trigger are really at home with their digital tools.

Like Redline’s prequel Trava: Fist Planet, Promare has two prequel films, introducing its two main characters, called Lio-Hen and Galo-Hen. So our playlist tomorrow is going to look like...

Koike block:

Trava: Fist Planet [may cut this once I’ve added up the runtime]

Redline

Intermission block:

Sonic CD intro

Wacky Races

Imaishi block:

Galo-Hen

Lio-Hen

Promare

Animated music videos courtesy of scattermoon

Animation Night 19 is going to run tomorrow, Thursday 17 Sep, at 7pm UK time, on twitch.tv/canmom. Hope to see you there and get our temporal lobes exploded together!

#animation night #studio trigger #hiroyuki imaishi #takeshi koike

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buddha-in-disguise · 5 years ago

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This is how it's done

Episode 5.15 at last.

While the emphasis has been on Nia's story in this episode, the synopsis made it clear Alex, Kelly and J'onn had a secondary storyline running as well. So again we were eager to watch knowing they were finally getting more than a token few minutes together.

Did it deliver?

Oh hell yes.

You just have to look on Twitter to see the praise being heaped on it by fans.

But first let's get the elephant in the room out of the way. William.

The opening sequence as Kara is fighting with Nia, and Nia has to be the one reminding Kara she has a date? Already covered by me and others, but to reiterate: that does not give a vibe of someone excited to be going on a first date. You can't even use the excuse of her mind was on the fight, because so was Nia's.

As to Kara at her apartment with Alex prior to the date?

Those words, "Cancel it for me."

Lets say (for arguments sake) it is nerves again speaking. Maybe it is, but that she is even having those thoughts? That she completely forgot about the 1st date, and needed reminding? If Kara can't get invested in the date, how are the audience expected to become invested?

As for the date itself. Kara arrives.... having been told by Alex to wear the blue top because .... well reasons .... and she is wearing the purple? So, not wanting to go with the best look then?

I didn't mind the date per se, although I did wonder if Kara was simply trying to not show pool skills, because I can't believe for a second, with Alex as a sister, and the control Kara now has on her powers (worry over lack of control would be the only other reason for her hesitation that I can think of), Kara hasn't been pulled into playing many times.

Did I get a date vibe? No. I felt more bonding yes (like why has it taken until now to even vaguely have that much), but date? Nope. Still not feeling it. If any of the above was a one off instance, you could shrug it off. But all of them? Sorry but as I say, if Kara isn't that invested in a first date, then we can't be expected to be as invested. However, that isn't to say that William annoyed me. In truth having him more on the sidelines was a relief as it finally allowed others to get some much needed screen time.

The Nia storyline.

This is obviously one extremely close to me, as my husband is transgender, and we have other family who are also transgender.

Nicole's input was definitely felt. Some of the lines she spoke were ones we have said ourselves almost word for word.

This is a topic that is one I've been extremely vocal about, and one in particular I have spoken about (in the William and Kara at CatCo scene) is the figures for transgender people killed in the last year alone in the USA, but more importantly that this number is likely not a true representation as many who die are misgendered after death.

It was so important to show just how bad for the transgender community it is. And no, it wouldn't necessarily be a fact Kara would know. Even those in the LGBTQ community aren't always aware of these figures. As for William being the one stating the figures back to Kara, again in the context I had no qualms about it. In fact having a CIS straight man write the piece and be a supportive ally is an important message in it's own right. I was worried that wouldn't come across, but I felt it did.

If ever there was a line that spoke volumes in this weeks Supergirl episode it was this:

"They want us to be invisible because of their own fears, they want to erase us so...... we need to shine even brighter." - Nia Nal

And shine Nicole Maines (and Roxy Wood, because the additional line about being a Black transgender woman - take my heart, stomp over it, then expect me to function), did. Both deserve so much praise on the way they delivered their performances.

I genuinely cried at some of this weeks episode, because the experiences have been ones we have faced as a transgender household. Being white does afford us a privilege that Black transgender people (especially the women) don't have. But as I say, it has been something I've been vocal about for a long time.

Lastly Kara and Nia on the balcony. Holy mother of god (or goddess), tears. Again. Nicole and Melissa once again were so good it felt like a punch to the gut. Kara wiping that tear off Nia's cheek. Big ugly sobbing from me. Gah! Just ....

Now Alex and Kelly. While I'm still craving a nice intimate atmosphere at home with them, having had so little of Dansen (and Kelly) it was a relief that for once Kelly wasn't given diminished screentime. Not only that, she was instrumental in helping Alex navigate through the VR world.

Alex having that PTSD flashback to being in the tank. Whoa, finally acknowledging it affected her and obviously still does. I loved how Kelly is so good at helping Alex maintain her equilibrium. You could tell it wasn't just because of her training or profession, but as a girlfriend who knows and understands how to communicate to Alex in that moment of stress, much like Alex was able to realise Malefic was manifesting as Kelly in the earlier part of the season, simply because she knew her girlfriend well enough.

Watching Alex train to get used to the Martian weapon, felt very reminiscent of S1 where Alex was training Kara early on. It was good to see her off balance for once in her training, as she has always shown a confidence in her ability until now. For those who complain she brought up wanting to be back at the DEO, as someone who has heavy military presence in our family (for at least 4 generations on my maternal side), I can safely say, going from military (and remember the DEO is recognised and spoken about in canon as being a military operation), and suddenly and unexpectedly thrown back into civilian life is one heck of an adjustment. It's an adjustment for most even when they know it's coming. To be so abrupt, so unexpected? Alex is going to want that structure back, and have that support around her. It is absolutely not unrealistic for her to feel this way or to talk about it. I would've been more surprised if she hadn't.

"And this is my gun."

Alex giving no crap. The whole rescue sequence was a joy to watch.

If I had a complaint, as I mentioned, I would've loved just a moment of real quiet intimacy between Kelly and Alex. We've barely seen anything of that sort. I hope we get something next episode (which also looks amazing from the trailer).

I could go through the episode and pick up so many times on how good it was. It was so much, I know I will have forgotten something I wanted to say. But I'm exhausted (almost no sleep will do that to you, damn being in the UK and these stupid o'clock viewing times), and it was so much to unpack.

Brainy, was barely in the episode but damn, so lovely (& heartbreaking) to see him give the information to the NCPD to help against transphobic attacks.

Onto a side plot, but finally we have more about Leviathan.

Leviathan have those bodies suspended.

What if William dies in 5.19 and becomes one of those suspended bodies for 5.20 or was supposed to, as Nicole mentioned on her Instagram story they still had scenes to film, and a couple were pretty amazing? With Staz back, would it have involved him, possibly as a sleeper agent? I've touted this idea before. While I would prefer that a MOC isn't cast into being a bad guy again, or killed off, I would more than happily see him simply go back to London and The Times. But I guess we wait to see what happens there.

But if, like Russell in 5a, he becomes an unwitting agent of Leviathan & a bad guy, cue fight scene, possibly in a VR setting? Maybe? Who knows.

Last but by no means least - they killed off Jeremiah. Since we're not entirely sure if Cadmus operated in the same way on Earth Prime as they did on Earth 38, we don't yet know the circumstances behind his death.

Will we get more explanation about it? Honestly I'm not overly bothered unless it helps serve a current storyline. Merely because episode numbers are running out, and it does at least bring us closure on his character one way or another. Something a lot of us have questioned for so long now.

As for complaints, the only ones expressing any real disappointment have been fans who have either regularly attacked other fans (especially those of in the SC or Dansen fandoms), or the outright transphobic users (I won't call them fans), who as the episode makes clear, are everywhere. The transphobes come out in force everytime with Nicole, so it isn't a surprise to see them again. As Nia says, it what transgender people face on a daily basis.

Plus with no Lena in the episode, it helps show that fans didn't need a Lena/Kara centric episode for this to garner such positive reactions, particularly from the LGBTQ fans. In some ways, as many have been saying (yes even SC fans), this Lena drama has long since gone by its sell by date and not having Lena once more stuck in her laboratory wasn't missed. And god, I say this as a huge Lena fan. I still want her on screen of course, but we need progression on what is happening with her. Both Lex and Lena have felt stale of late, and while I know it changes as we get into the last few episodes, I can truly say neither was missed this time. And before anyone jumps in, no this isn't bashing SC (I still ship both Dansen and SC, as well as Brainia), or saying SC shouldn't happen, or Lena is evil, or not needed. I don't think that at all. I merely am getting tired of a merry-go-round on Lena in her laboratory that we've had of late, & the only interaction has been with Lex. Time to break her out of that cell!

I don’t know what they were putting in the water in Vancouver when they did the Batwoman and Supergirl episodes this week, but they both had me simultaneously laughing & crying! It looked ugly for a minute there.

Both were outstanding episodes.

As much as I've had my criticism over some of this season, when Supergirl get it right like they did here, they soar! This was one of my top episodes for the entire series.

And despite all the news in the world right now, Supergirl trended on Twitter again.

Gif courtesy of @ Daily_danvers on Twitter.

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theangrypokemaniac · 5 years ago

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Since I rant enough about the wizening Ma and Pa received in Sinnoh it's only right to wreak bloody rhetorical vengeance elsewhere:

However harsh it may be, I'm glad Takeshi Shudo isn't alive to witness the hateful desecration of his legacy.

...

In a universe where no one's allowed to age, why are the modern Jessie and James so withered and decrepit?

Dragon Ball has been on for more than three decades. Its stars were permitted to grow up, because the head can cope with the opportunities this offers.

Yet Goku, Krillin, Bulma et al bear a greater similarity to their younger selves than these gurning invertebrates do to Team Rocket, wearing a papery approximation of their skin.

Akira Toriyama is actually concerned about his life's work, still coming up with interesting concepts, brand-new characters, and most importantly, values his audience by keeping to the established canon.

If a Dragon Ball fan reads this, I am so jealous of you.

Consider yourselves fortunate not to have seen the thing you loved the most pulverised and the resulting glutinous mass moulded back into makeshift sloppy cadavers.

Look at the state of that man! That's a good picture these days!

Why have the eyelid lines turned into upside down bags?

And why has she collected her lashes for this particular screen shot?

On eyes with a strangely feline slant...

Has she had a face lift?

Get yer money back on that one, love.

And why has he marks under his eyes and round his flapping gob to add the hint of exhaustion?

And why don't her lips reach the edge of her mouth anymore?

And why must he display Beaver Toof, as if he's only got six pegs left?

Giving it to him but not her implies she's lost the lot, needing to gum objects for a result.

And why do her low-slung ears consist only of lobe?

And why can you see his featureless lugs? Why does his barnet stand outwards in tentacles like he's taken to wearing a floppy Starmie?

What's that's meant to be, purple dreadlocks?

And why is her hairline curved and absolutely straight, like a bad wig, apart from the perfunctory bits to the side, which I guarantee won't alter their position throughout the run?

Hair used to move about, now by law there's a set pattern which cannot change. Stamp that life out immediately.

And what's that flaccid growth between his weary peepers? Is that meant to be fringe?

PFFFT!!!

And why are her digits just as thick and oblong as his?

It ain't fingers. It's trotters.

And why's he got a back to his throat, but she hasn't?

And why are we forced to witness it? You can see all the way to his dangler!

The great gaping pink cave looks like the end of Looney Tunes when Porky Pig pops up and stammers: "That's all folks!"

Remember a lack of Beaver Toof? And triangular mouths?

Remember when Meowth was a cheeky, spirited little cat, not a middle-aged human midget, an emaciated wreck bored of it all?

Remember when it wasn't deemed necessary to expose us to internal organs?

And when James was a handsome, hysterically camp dandy, not a creepy, snot-ridden science dweeb?

And when Jessie was a beautiful, stylish young girl, hot-tempered but loyal, not a sullen, cold, reptilian, Botoxed-to-the-gills gorgon?

Remember when Team Rocket were fun? And attractive?

Remember when they had joy in their hearts in spite of their poverty? And vim? And hope?

Remember them acting with flair and imagination?

Remember when their schemes had variety?

Remember when they had more than a single disguise per era?

Remember when they had many occupations? And were good at them?

Remember when they'd have a go at everything and weren't reduced to flipping condemned meat in a grotty burger van FOR THREE YEARS?!

Remember when those in charge didn't despise them, when they got happy endings?

Remember split screens? And face faults? And background tones? And purple streaks down your cheeks?

Remember big, bright open eyes, not shrunken, sagging and empty holes afflicted by glaucoma?

Remember when Jessie had eyelashes?

Remember when Pokémon was an anime?

And when James had a fringe, not a bent swelling like a balloon animal?

And when the artist could be arsed to draw Meowth's Charm properly?

Remember when the voices weren't nails down a blackboard?

When Meowth didn't sound like a wedge of coal grinding beneath an oil-deprived door?

When Jessie's dulcet tones had a wider range that just screechy, and weren't reminiscent of a cacophonous banshee clawing her way from a bog, using her own mug as a shovel?

When James speaking didn't suggest he was at best, suffering sinus difficulties, and at worst, constantly battling to swallow his own sick from looking at her?

Mind you, I'm grateful the 4Kids cast are no longer here. They deserve better, and their presence would only validate the crude bastardisations.

Every time the guttural howls reach my poor ears a chill runs through my system, and reminds me of The Pokémon Company sacking the real dub crew in preference for a job done on the cheap.

Remember speed lines? And Pokéball-throwing animation?

Remember a new motto performance in each installment, not the same stock footage reused again and again?

Remember when it rhymed?

It shows.

Remember remembering it?

Remember when Team Rocket would walk down the street in their uniforms and no one took a blind bit of notice despite the organisation operating there?

And they didn't fanny about in one scabby polyester costume every minute they were travelling, even when NO ONE KNOWS WHO THEY ARE?

Since Unova, whilst confronting Ash and this era's soon-to-be-forgotten companions, you get this exchange:

Moron-Of-The-Week: "Who are Team Rocket?"

Ash: "They're bad guys who steal other people's Pokémon."

EVERY SINGLE BLOODY TIME!!!

WORD-FOR-WORD IDENTICAL!!!

The writers have such deep appreciation for their work they're sending in cut-and-paste scripts.

Remember blasting off when something blew up, not an explosion from nowhere, or giving it the slip with a jet pack, or abduction by a Care Bear?

Remember when the eyebrows matched the hair?

Remember when he wore it long?

Remember blue shock? And sweat drop? And hammerspace? And comedy violence?

Remember her jagged hairline? And it being RED!!!

Remember proper highlights to it, rather than the odd white lump now and again, as if sweating like a pig, or their heads are infested with giant space ticks?

Remember when they were in all the episodes? And were main characters? And on the introduction sequence?

Remember when Jessie and James used to hug? And hold hands?

And bicker as only a couple can, but you knew they'd never cope alone?

Remember when they'd fly into each other's arms under the flimsiest pretext?

Remember when they meant more to one another than just being a pair of unconnected and disembodied wraiths coincidentally walking down the same road?

And they had more than civil interactions?

Remember when she loved him as much as he loved her?

And no one else could ever take his place?

And canon wasn't infected with the ruinous depiction of her as a hard, heartless bitch barely tolerating him until someone 'better' came along, at which point she'd fuck off without a backwards glance?

'Better', as in a scabby, satchel-mouthed, gormless cretin, just to add surly insult to merciless injury.

Never has such a life-long and hardcore defender of the faith flipped into an ardent Rumishipper as I did after that episode, once I'd swept up the fragments of my soul.

Remember when they were sympathetic?

Remember when they showed human warmth?

Remember when they cared about each other?

Remember when they weren't just a jangling, distorted mess of half-recollected traits?

Remember when they weren't really evil?

Remember Rocketshipping? That was a thing once, believe it or not.

Remember when they had a conscience?

Remember when actually wicked characters turned up, and Team Rocket ALWAYS sided with Ash, rather than the nauseating spectacle of suddenly being best buds with the Boss?

Remember when they had contact with the Twerps?

Remember when Team Rocket and the Twerps loved each other in secret and would endanger themselves to save their 'enemies'?

Everything that was once good and winning about them was sucked out, degree by degree, to leave the corpse, hollow and dead, strung up on wires as a grim marionette.

I'm sure most who see this will vehemently disagree, that I'm completely wrong, that THEY like them.

Yes, you like this three, but you don't like Team Rocket. This is not them. You have yours, and I have mine, but let's not pretend they are the same.

Why, if there is no difference, would I be so hostile, when they meant so much too me?

Did you ever wonder where the original fans went, why they all departed en masse? It's not because they 'moved on' or 'matured'.

They didn't leave Pokémon. Pokémon left them.

As the makers rely so heavily on repetition (sorry, nostalgia) they arrogantly expect us to still be here, having blithely welcomed our memories minced and our canon ripped up or ripped off, apparently.

We're intended to put up with watching them lay waste to ťhe series's body, clinging on for when a rotting bone is pulled up now and again and waved at us, before they chuck it aside to continue the dismemberment.

It's been eaten from the inside out, explaining the facial collapse. Behold the beauty on show:

You see what I mean, don't you?

Don't you? No, because otherwise you'd say the same.

How anyone feels able to describe three deformed freaks as 'hot' or 'cute' I will never comprehend.

The uniform collar protrudes like a solid pipe, emphasising the pencil necks.

It gives the impression of wrinkled, leathery tortoises peering out of their shells to secure a tasty lettuce treat.

Is that pretty? No.

Is it so surprising I don't care for my favourites to resemble melted waxwork skeletons of their own dæmonic counterparts?

S&M is a most fitting name, for this is torture.

In the film Death Becomes Her, Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn vie for the attention of Bruce Willis, both taking a serum giving everlasting youth and slimness.

The catch is it confers immortality, but not invulnerability, so when pushed down the stairs Meryl survives but is dead, her neck broken, thus she's zipped up in the morgue fridge.

When Goldie is shot with a canon she too rises, internal organs blown out.

The rest of the adventure involves the pair losing the war against time, patching up and painting over peeling grey skin, holding onto loose limbs as their bodies fall apart.

This obviously is the case here. The trio lapped the potion up at the close of Sinnoh, experienced a fatal accident and are now steadily crumbling to mush before us.

According to grave-diggers the head always goes first, so there you are then.

I have a suspicion that Giovanni lured all three to his crypt, experimenting on them to engineer his ultimate super soldier, which explains their flat, plastic appearance. Those since Unova began are the cyborgs, the real ones locked in his cellar.

You may notice I have about the lowest opinion possible of the current writing team, as they deserve.

Why should I have any respect for vindictive halfwits like this, who hate Team Rocket so much they're going out of their way to distort and uglify them, expressing the resentment in celluloid?

Jessie, James and Meowth lost their only defender in Takeshi Shudo. From that point they descended from loveable, hapless tragic figures to self-parodies (Hoenn) whiney, irritating divs dumping one another at every interval (Sinnoh), robotic, amoral scum (Unova and Kalos) and now physically repulsive minor additions (Alola and Galar). Is that trajectory all accidental?

It not that it's a new 'style' (for want of a better word), as were that the case, this hideousness would apply to the entire cast, but it's only done to Team Rocket. How could that be unless motivated by malice?

Given the sub thesps are obliged to prostrate themselves in the dust, begging fans to make their appreciation known, it smacks of desperation.

They wouldn't need to ask that were the trio treated as an integral component. They must sense the objections and are thus drumming up support to avoid the dole queue.

Are those in charge so resentful of their presence it manifests in mutilating them, keen to do anything that may alienate the fanbase, so at the first sign of a dip in popularity they can leap upon it as the perfect excuse to write Team Rocket out?

Why be surprised? These are imbeciles who reject their own canon at the close of every generation, so why care about someone else's?

If people have to harangue the writers with grovelling praise of their retcons, rehashes and all-round twatting about, butter 'em up sufficiently, with the implied threat of deserting the franchise should Team Rocket be ejected, taking their purses too, all so the smug, avaricious berks deign to put the trio in the next generation, that proves they don't want them, so how can what they write for their characters be objectively of any worth?

Team Rocket would've departed by now, were there not a palpable worry their absence might ring the death knell of the whole thing, turning off the financial tap, which is what matters.

Therefore they are retained, grudgingly, and only so long as the clamour continues at its current decibel level. If that drops it's over, and don't expect a romantic resolution. Why should pleasing you be a concern when you're to leave with them?

Ask yourself: how much of your devotion is based on what they are right now, and how much is from who they used to be?

How long can they live off past glories?

The offences done in Unova and Kalos were bad enough, but remarkably Game Freak found further depths to plumb, therefore it can only get worse.

I have of course retained the loveliest for last:

Be still, my beating heart.

No, really, be still. Stop infact.

Planet of the Apes.

#Team Rocket #Jessie #James #Meowth #Alola #GIFS

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slamsams-blog · 5 years ago

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A View To A Kill - #24WeeksofBond

This week’s feature is 1985′s “A View To A Kill”. This would be Roger Moore’s 7th and final Bond performance, and judging by Moore’s appearance in this film, it really was for the best. Man, am I torn with this one. I know as a self-proclaimed “Bond Expert” I should hate this movie...take a look at any Bond ranking blog out there and you’ll find the usual suspects rounding out the bottom 5, this film included. While it definitely has its faults (no pun intended), there is just something so unique and charming about this Bond adventure. Maybe it’s the horses, maybe it’s the unforgettable May Day character, maybe it’s the Christopher Walken effect, or maybe it’s the way Bond cooks up a killer Quiche...whatever it is, I just can’t help but enjoy myself when I watch this movie.

It all starts with a fun ski chase scene where Bond is out trying to find the body of a missing 003...he finds him and discovers a microchip in his locket. He must have been on the hunt for Zorin before Bond took over. Not sure, I may have missed it, but eventually the ski chase scene boils down and Bond picks up a board from his snow mobile that got shot down. This leads to “California Girls” playing while Bond snow boards his way out of a pickle. Watching this now - it’s utterly ridiculous and doesn’t quite fit the vibe of the rest of the scene, but when I watched this as a teenager, I absolutely LOVED it and it still brings me back to when I was a kid watching these Bond films for the first time.

We are then treated to a bad ass tune by Duran Duran. This song is one of my favorites. When I think of this movie, 2 things pop into my head right away: that California girls scene, and the Duran Duran song. So far this movie is hitting on all cylinders.

But before we go on with the plot...let’s talk about the elephant in the room, shall we? Bond is so uncomfortably old in this movie. It’s a shame really, this movie has a wonderful plot with amazing characters, incredible action, and a killer score, but the only thing a lot of people take away from it is how old Moore is. I don’t blame them, Moore is definitely a week past the sell by date here and he is still managing to get intimate with a few women. Eh, I really hate to say it, but it was a different time I guess. If Roger Moore had been a little younger or if Dalton had taken over this one...I think this movie would be towards the top of Bond lists everywhere.

Onto the plot...

It turns out this microchip is a copy of a Zorin Microchip that are designed to withstand a nuclear blast. So Bond is set to find Max Zorin (Christopher Walken) and see if there is anything suspicious. Well turns out his horses are really good...that’s enough to get a green light from her majesties secret service. Bond goes to meet some weirdo at the Eifel Tower to talk all things Zorin, but the weirdo gets killed by a poison butterfly toy. That’s funny to write. Anyways, now Bond is really on a mission...

The movie continues with Bond going under cover as a super rich and bossy horse buyer with another man from MI6 who is a horse expert. This part of the movie is just light hearted and fun. We see Bond bossing “Tibbit” around and schmoozing other party folk, and getting to know all the evil bad guys along the way. This is where we find out that Zorin inserts these microchips into the horse for an added boost during races.

Not only do we get to admire some beautiful horses, but we also get our first glimpse at Stacy Sutton (Tanya Roberts) who will go on later to be Bond’s helping force in taking Zorin down. She is seemingly getting a big pay off, for what? We don’t know yet. But instead of Bond getting information from her, how Bond usually does, in a steamy hotel on a moonlit night. Bond finds himself in bed with May Day, and the audience finds themselves uncomfortable with seeing old Moore naked in bed with naked Grace Jones.

Yeah....soooo anyways....

Like with most Bond movies, the plot always starts out rather simple but ends up being something bigger. Yes, Zorin is cheating to win these horse races, by steroids and microchip injection...but then we also find out that Zorin is an ex-KGB who is now doing his own thing. And apparently that thing is to destroy Silicon Valley, taking control of the microchip industry. We never really find out why he needs this, other than having a monopoly. But, why do you want a monopoly on the microchip business? Seems rather lame in my opinion, but it’s Zorin, and he’s got his reasons.

We really don’t deserve a Christopher Walken here, but we get him and its wonderful. Here is something I’ve never picked up before...apparently the old evil guy Hans Glaub was a nazi scientist who experimented with steroids in pregnant women in the concentration camps. The women who gave birth, gave birth to kids with extremely high IQ’s but were psycho paths, leading Bond to suspect Zorin was a product of that. NEVER KNEW THAT BACKSTORY UNTIL TONIGHT! CRAZY!

Well that definitely explains Walken’s performance. Christopher Walken does a fantastic job of playing an extremely charming, highly popular public figure, but also a completely sadistic, ruthless killer who finds killing people “neat”.

On top of having Christopher Walken and Grace Jones as the evil tandem, we get to witness some wonderfully absurd action. We have a Horse riding obstacle course that Bond must complete with 10 guys trying to knock him off; we have a Fire truck chase scene with Bond hanging on the ladder as it’s swinging through on coming traffic; and of course, the final boss battle on top of the Golden Gate Bridge. Some pretty awesome stuff here...but man is Roger Moore old.

Not only is this Roger Moore’s last Bond movie, it’s also the swan song for the best Moneypenny ever...Lois Maxwell - who had served as the Bond flirting secretary to M since the very first Bond movie. Lois had a wonderful career in the Bond series, but she too was getting old. It only seemed fitting that she and Moore go out at the same time to bring in some young blood.

Despite Moore’s age, and yes I know I’m beating a dead horse (that was an intended pun), but this movie does all it can to make up for it. There are so many memorable scenes in this film where I simply cannot in good conscious give this movie a bad review. I would definitely put this movie in a solid place in the middle of the pack, but not bottom 5, I mean come on, Christopher Walken alone moves the movie up 6 spots.

This really was fun to watch tonight. What did you all think? Let me know!

Reviews from Friends:

Dan Perch

Bond as St. John Smythe has to be my favorite fake name😂 Walken and Grace Jones were such a cool team to watch!

My Mom

Omg Sam this was the best bond movie and a fantastic write up on your blog. I laughed so hard at your commentary. You have the makings of a professional critic. You just have to fix that “anyways” habit. I can now see how you boys got addicted to Bond. I would put this brisk and boisterous film way up near the top. My gosh you should at the very least give it another half star. I loved it.

Andrew Albertsen

This was always one of my favorites

Jake Benrud

I had some of the same thoughts about this movie! "California Girls"? Really? I also don't think that Bond's knees could take those jumps at his age. It does make it kind of a fun scene though. I have had the "A View to a Kill" song stuck in my head all week. It's one of my favorite Bond songs as well. I also enjoyed the twang of the electric guitar with the 80's version of James Bond Theme song in the action sequences. Grace Jones as May Day was great. It was kind of funny to see the death by the poison butterfly on a fishing pole. I must have missed the connection on how the Nazi scientist who did experiments with steroids in pregnant women ended up being a father-figure to Zorin. Also, how did he become a KGB agent if he was the product of a Nazi experiment? I guess he could have jumped ship to the next "evil empire." Walken played the part well. I liked his laugh just before plummeting to his death.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with -

Goldeneye

#24WeeksofBond #roger moore #christopher walken #a view to a kill #james bond #grace jones

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danwhobrowses · 5 years ago

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Why Star Wars: The Last Jedi Deserves More Respect

So after a handful of posts I think it’s time to bring back this one, the conflict was that I was considering reviews for Pokémon Sword and Shield as well as a review for Rise of Skywalker, but the latter made me think that this is an opportune moment to talk about the previous entry. Like The Last Jedi, Rise of Skywalker has had divisive opinions, frankly I liked the film but I think TLJ was the best of the sequel trilogy, and I am going to explain why

Fair Warning, within this there’s gonna be spoilers for Rise of Skywalker, possibly Mandalorian, maybe Solo and definitely The Last Jedi...this will also be very long

So I know straight away that this is gonna get heat, there has been constant times where me saying that I liked TLJ has been considered trolling or ‘bait’, honestly I find myself baffled that people can hate it so vehemently, believing that the story is and I quote ‘the worst sequel ever’. While it is clear that Johnson had a different vision to Abrams, that was not a bad thing, a lot of the criticism the film gets are quite hypocritical in contrast to the Original Trilogy which is held to so much esteem, so to start I’m going to break that down. Small Disclaimer before I do: People are allowed to dislike things, not saying that if you do dislike it you are doing something wrong, just pointing out that it’s not wrong to like the film either. Disowning before Watching The first thing I think turned people off of TLJ was the interview Mark Hamill had before the film came out, people misconceiving his comments that it’s not the journey he expected seeing of Luke to mean that this is not a film he would approve of. The same almost happened with RoS with Abrams comment which was abridged to imply that Abrams disowned TLJ as well - he did not - but in a society where we want to home in on flaws and criticize before even seeing that was too wide a door left open. So without fault, TLJ already had a group of people set on disliking the film because it would be different to how they and Hamill wanted it to be and because it’s not exactly like the decanonized ‘Legends’ continuity - despite people being fine that Jacen Solo and Ben Skywalker had been merged to make Kylo Ren in The Force Awakens. It’s easy to point out that if you go into something adamant to dislike you’re going to get your wish, so the first point of order is to give something a chance to impress you, you can’t criticize something because an actor didn’t think it’d go that creative direction, Hamill did not hate this movie and people disliking their content does not automatically make it bad, Stannis from GoT hated the show, Alan Moore hates everything but that doesn’t mean Watchmen was bad, the actors for C3PO and R2-D2 hated each other but that doesn’t mean that when they acted their bond wasn’t great.

The ‘Luke is not Luke’ Criticism Hamill’s comments ease nicely into one of the main critiques that fans felt that Luke was not the same character he was in Return of the Jedi. People criticized his disconnection from the force which included tossing his lightsaber away in the opening scene, the Rashomon sequence where Luke considered striking down his own nephew - a move that ultimately turned Ben to the Dark, drinking green milk and that his last stand was a projection rather than a solid encounter. You know what I say to those criticisms?

They are bollocks, absolute nonsensical criticisms made to try and dismantle the best character of the movie. Hamill delivers his best for Luke in TLJ and his character arc is brilliant. I watched Blind Wave (a great youtube reactor channel) react to TLJ and the members noted how it was great that Luke had a character arc, something I wholly agree with. Luke was around 23 in Return of the Jedi (since the galaxy uses the standardized dating of Coruscant which has the most earth-like cycle), if you expect a 23 year old to have no room left to grow in the next 30 years of his life then I don’t think anything’s gonna get through to you, Luke is meant to be different, because since Jedi a lot of shit has happened. Luke’s discarding of the lightsaber shows his disconnect with the Force, something that had allowed the First Order to paint him as a myth and rendered everyone near-unable to find him, only tracked by the galactic map to Ahch-To from his past days of discovering remnants of Jedi past. Next let’s bring down the Rashomon sequence, the 3 tales of Ben’s turning. Initially, Luke painted a picture that he sensed that the darkness was too late, Ben woke and attacked him. Later Ben paints that Luke is lying, and that when Ben awoke Luke was there with his Lightsaber drawn with intent to kill him. The third story admits that both are correct, Luke drew his lightsaber in sensing the darkness, and Ben awoke to see it and retaliated.

This story peeves people mainly because they say that in Jedi ‘Luke was willing to fight for a single hope of light in his Father but was willing to kill his nephew for a bad dream’. A ridiculous comment that waters down and ignores the bigger picture though. For one, while Luke wanted to save his father and sensed good in him, he still ended up cutting his dad’s hand off, the indication that much like his father Luke - as he had always been in the Original Trilogy - was still susceptible to his emotions, including the negative ones. The other reason this statement is foolhardy is because they don’t listen to Luke’s narration, where he explains that it was a fleeting moment of panic and arrogance, his ego as ‘Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master’ took over when he sensed that Ben was already turned by Snoke, and it was only for a split second which he immediately regrets. It’s this moment that snowballs into why Luke disconnects himself from the force, his ego as a saviour to Jedi led to the downfall of his nephew - which led to his best friend and sister separating, the rise of the First Order being like a second Empire and the massacre of most of his other jedi students, he realised that this was the same ego that led to the previous Jedi’s downfall to Vader and Sidious and thus came to the conclusion that maybe the Jedi way is not the right way. Not only is this a brilliantly done tragedy for the character but it’s a progression that identifies with public opinion of jedi ways and the pompousness that led to Anakin’s turn to the dark side as depicted in the prequels. The use of Rashomon also connects to the Jedi/Sith connections to Samurai which was a great touch by Johnson. The green milk scene was a weird one I’ve seen being criticized, like people are fine with Calamarian fishmen but a Tatooine/Naboo humanoid can’t drink green milk? I think I need to remind you that Luke drinks blue milk on Tatooine, he is a moisture farmer as well, the ‘green milk’ scene was a depiction of how Luke survived on Ahch-To as Rey followed him, his lifestyle disconnected from the force as he lived as basically a farm boy. I don’t know why people got so mad about the colour of milk but you can’t expect those nuns to have fed him roast porgs every day The final criticism is his last stand, something I will touch on a bit later as well. In terms of Luke, people were disappointed that it wasn’t Luke actually there and while yes it would’ve been great to watch Luke tear down AT-ATs luke the EU, but he literally says that he won’t do that

it’s not a matter of can’t, it’s a matter of him strutting up to the army of the First Order will not end the war, most people don’t even know if he exists. Showing up will have inspired the resistance yes but if Luke was shown killed or captured that hope would then be instantly diminished, and Snoke and Ren would definitely be going for Luke’s head to make that so. This is why Luke goes via projection, instead of his ragged hermit self where he’d likely die similarly to how Kenobi did, he demonstrates a highly advanced force power to display himself as a clean-cut warrior who shrugs off the full might of the First Order’s arsenal and humiliates its brand new Supreme Leader, while disappearing. That stand does the Resistance far better than him showing up in person, because now the legend of Luke Skywalker lives longer than he does, he inspires a new wave of Jedi who understand his sacrifice and rebels who have just seen how one man can expose the weakness of the First Order. Luke’s last living gesture is one that inspires hope, before he becomes one with the Force at peace. If anything that is as beautiful as it is tragic of an end for Luke, but by no means is that bad. The Rose Tico ‘Issue’ Luke wasn’t the only character to get on the wrong side of criticism, undoubtedly Kelly Marie Tran got it the worst. Despicable people flocked to harass her over her character, throwing about racism just for that added content of being a horrid human being. Her character, Rose Tico, was a newly introduced character from the Resistance who joins Finn and Poe’s arcs, her main non-racist criticism is her act of saving Finn from the Laser Battering Ram ‘She has this stupid speech about saving people with love while a laser battering ram breaks down the door to kill a bunch of people’ A common theme seems to be that people are taking things the absolute wrong way. Rose’s journey with Finn is an interesting arc where she seeks to make sure her sister’s sacrifice - caused by Poe’s rash personality - is not in vain while accompanying a ‘hero of the resistance’, what she is unaware of is how her assistance relates to Finn’s journey as he tries to live up to the esteem she sees him in, he had always considered himself a defector rather than a rebel. Rose (and DJ) open his eyes to a reality that not everything is black and white, he left the First Order in TFA because he believed that they were ‘wrong’ and so by default the resistance had to be ‘right’ but TLJ challenged Finn to see both sides and make a choice for himself, a choice that is made thanks to Rose. However, his embrace of being a rebel is why he is adamant to try and sacrifice himself for the laser battering ram. I have to point out that until Rose stepped in I thought Finn was gonna die, I thought it really ballsy and a little disappointing that they were gonna kill him off, I also knew that the ship would not stop the battering ram so it was actually a relief that Rose did save him.

I think people dislike it for that reason though, they felt that Finn dying would’ve been a more shocking narrative turn and because Rose saved him she is to ‘blame’, I also believe that people didn’t like the relationship because Finn was clearly still on Rey and not everyone was on the Reylo boat or it got in the way of FinnPoe being more than just a bromance (side note, at the start of RoS I thought they were sailing on the ReyPoe for a moment, though I’m not mad about how they went), but again, that shouldn’t be the fault of Rose’s character. Rose clearly was inspired by Finn’s reputation and grew fond of his personality the more time she spent with him, likewise Finn found himself wanting to earn her esteem and taking care of her, it’s actually a shame that Rose’s role gets heavily reduced in RoS, because I do feel like Rose could’ve filled Jannah’s role (nothing against Jannah or Naomi Ackie of course) with the Canto Bight horse-things instead of the Kef Bir horse-things. So to conclude this section, Rose was good in this film, she served a purpose to grow Finn as a character and most constructive criticisms against her revolve around things either out of her control as a character or without would diminish her character role completely. The Communication Issue between Holdo and Poe Alright, let’s throw some hands up before I rub them together. I agree that Holdo should’ve told people the plan, I do dislike it when a movie creates conflict made by a lack of communication. But, he will say rubbing his hands together, this does not ruin the film. It’s worth reminding that Poe is recently demoted for reckless behaviour, the Resistance’s entire offensive fleet was destroyed due to Poe wanting to destroy one Dreadnought Ship. A reasonable punishment for Poe on his arc to realise that being a leader is more than just winning a battle, but more on that later. So Holdo comes in, new squadron she barely knows because she’s taking over for Leia, she has a plan that she and Leia know but are the only living members who know now. So why doesn’t she tell Poe? It’s quite simple, not only does the novel imply that she’s figuring out if there’s a mole - which is understandable because the First Order must’ve watched Star Trek: Into Darkness and thought ‘hey we could track ships in hyperspeed too!’ - but she’s also trying to enforce Leia’s punishment to Poe. Poe is in this shit because he refused to listen to orders, so Holdo is basically telling Poe to listen to orders, something he refuses to do and starts a mutiny. It is frustrating yes and we side with Poe because he’s the more familiar character, but had Poe just proved himself a trustworthy person who is learning from Leia’s last decree before she went into a coma she would’ve told him. This also transitions nicely into the next criticism people have Canto Bight and the Cryptographer Goose-Chase Poe’s plans of mutiny starts with sending Rose and Finn to Canto Bight, at the behest of the massively underused Maz Kanata, to find a Cryptographer so that they could disable the hyperspace tracker. People hate this scene mainly because it segue’s from the plot, it’s high on CGI and reminds them of the Prequel Trilogy

Now I can’t really contest the CGI but it was nothing bad, CGI still gets used well and the visit to the Casino aided in time for Rose and Finn to establish a relationship, have some lightheated BB-8 moments, introduce DJ the speech impediment ‘wrong hacker’ and continue to drive the shades of grey theme Finn is about to learn about. People never seem to criticize that they put their faith in the wrong guy because it leads to a more interesting conflict, so it’s strange that they hate this transition so much. The Brevity of Snoke and Phasma Two characters introduced that promised to be big deals were killed off in The Last Jedi, the nature of them both was a brave scene that many felt dropped the ball on these characters. And while I am inclined to agree on Phasma at least, Snoke’s death was actually a great turn. Before RoS we were none the wiser on who Snoke was, now we’ve seen it we know that he was basically a mass-produced puppet by the emperor...not the best of closures I’d admit but the anger towards Snoke being killed off is actually hypocritical ‘All Snoke does is sit in his chair and die’ You know who else sat in his chair and ‘died’, ol’ Sheev Palpatine. People are quick to criticize that Snoke was hyped up but barely got to show anything when Palpatine only really demonstrated the force twice in the Original trilogy before being thrown into a pit of apparent death, we allowed the Emperor a pass because we learned more about him through novels and future movies, and that’s something we eventually find out from Snoke as well.

Captain Phasma on the other hand was a sad disappointment, after one brush with death already she returned to basically be killed off again as a symbol of Finn shedding his ties as an ex-stormtrooper and embracing the role of a rebel. This is not really the fault of Johnson though, everyone seems to be more content with the alternate scene where Finn exposes Phasma’s actions for TFA, but that was a choice from the cutting room. While we can be disappointed that Phasma didn’t leave enough of a mark on the trilogy, we can always hope for prequel stuff as we had with Boba Fett, an equally wasted character in his main trilogy who could theoretically be in The Mandalorian (only a theory, nothing is concrete), but if we are willing to love the Original Trilogy despite similar issues we hate on TLJ for then aren’t we being hypocrites? tHaT’s nOt HoW tHe FoRcE wOrKs If you try to pick on Rian Johnson for ‘not getting Star Wars’ directly you would be in for a world of punishment. Two major force powers that get used in The Last Jedi is the ‘Force Skype’ and Force Projection, however both are basically using the same techniques, one is connecting minds while the other is connecting one mind to an individual place. It’s immediately told to us that this is an advanced technique but this is not something Johnson has made up. In the EU this ability is called Simifuturus or just Doppelganger, practiced by Luke, Dooku and Yarael Poof. Rey and Ben’s Force Skype is also used in the EU called Force Bond, Chain or Jedi Kinship, the ability had been fine in beloved Star Wars games Knights of the Old Republic I & II, the Clone Wars and Rebels series and aplenty of novels. For the legitimacy of these abilities cannot be contested. The fact that the ability kills Luke shouldn’t be criticized either, Luke is projecting himself light years away on Crait, with a copy of Han’s dice in a much more polished form, he physically interacts with Leia and takes on a barrage of AT-M6 blasters - turbolasers that can destroy speeders and ships with one hit - and two lightsaber slices, remember Ben felt the impact from Rey’s blaster on their first Force Skype, so Luke carried the feeling of all that damage and strain on his body and maintained his projection. So not only did Luke’s dying moments lead to an incredible display of using the Force but also one that forced him to sustain an immeasurable amount of damage and still manage to bide the resistance time to escape. Leia Poppins Ah yes, the Mary Poppins moment. I dunno how I can explain this one so easily but how about this. Leia is force sensitive, we have known this since Jedi, so to see Leia use the force was a massive moment, but she’s floating in the vacuum of space so there is no ‘up’ she is basically pulling a heavier object than herself in a vacuum, using it as an anchor so she can get to a blast door. As to why she survives in space, you can survive up to 2 minutes in space without a helmet, it is horribly painful though, it’s also worth reminding that Leia is not a human like you or me and if the Force can heal (as shown in The Mandalorian and RoS) then why can’t it keep Leia alive a bit longer in Space? She ends up in a coma anyway so I don’t see why complaints are rife here, she survives barely and it’s not like they knew Carrie was going to die sometime after the film was completed, they obviously had more plans for her so it would’ve been wrong to kill her off there when we were already killing Luke off. Did Disney Ruin Star Wars? This is a statement I’ve heard a lot in regards to TLJ, Solo and RoS, which is weird though, people were fine with Disney doing TFA, Rogue One and The Mandalorian, Mando’s journey with Baby Yoda proving that the utility of fanservice - something the trio get loathed for - can be enjoyable and it bodes well that the director of some episodes is doing an Obi Wan film. The phrase ‘Star Wars Fatigue’ also came about from post-Solo reviews, which I have expressed is dumb because MCU do 3 marvel movies minimum a year. But the reason Solo got low box office figures wasn’t because it was bad, it’s because it was released around the same time as Deadpool 2, it was left to the sharks without a chance to succeed. So no, Disney have not ruined Star Wars, if anything fan perception has damaged the franchise with people hating it because it’s not the Original Trilogy or it’s too much like the Original Trilogy, the same can be said for the EU. RoS is quite similar to Dark Empire but because Disney retconned most of the EU it’s the enemy, but let’s be honest, does anyone want the continuity to be that Chewie gets blown up? I doubt that. So WHY does The Last Jedi deserve more respect I think the mixed reviews of Rise of Skywalker has proved that maybe TLJ got a harsh end of a stick, even with Abrams’ vision back at the helm the film proved to be divisive and personally quite safe. This is probably why I liked TLJ the most, Johnson went to challenge things and build off of the previous movies as a whole, nothing really was safe, it took narrative risks that opened the door to a lot more things.

We explored Rey’s connection to the force and her desires for answers being unable to be sated by it because she’s expecting more from her level of learning, we also have Snoke’s gambit to bond Ben and Rey together to strengthen both, Ben strengthens into a more mature state but continues to conflict in a less whiny way, even relenting from trying to kill his mother. We also got some ‘reverse Jedi’ stuff with both Ben and Rey adamant that the other will turn but instead of turning one another, Ben’s hatred however proves too great for Rey to accompany him which leads to Ben getting a villain promotion to Supreme Leader. We have a solid arc for Finn, Luke and Poe as he finally learns to take care of others, because as Rose was saying, sacrificing yourself is not going to beat the First Order, heroes are great but dead heroes win nothing, protecting others is the essence of the Resistance and that’s what a leader is meant to do. Hell, we even get a little Hux stuff, the way he slowly considers shooting Kylo Ren while he’s down and his constant abuse culminating in the rather obvious RoS reveal that he’s the spy. Unlike RoS, TLJ thrived on giving every major character worthwhile arcs like these which all ended up entwining in the climactic showdown, while tertiary characters did end up getting underused there were still windows for them to do more in the next episode which was taken out of Johnson’s hands, but he laid a lot of groundwork for the story to be taken multiple directions, which is actually quite difficult when you’re midway through a trilogy and on the 8th outing of a saga. In addition, the film provided Hamill’s best performance as Luke Skywalker, giving him a fitting end to his journey which explored almost every dimension of a Jedi’s character; training, temptation, losing faith and redemption.

I also loved how Johnson described the Force in TLJ, it wasn’t about Dark or Light, the Force was the Force, an energy that flows through all that is harnessed by the force sensitive, even Force Ghosts. And using the Puppet Yoda was a great and fun addition, and it makes sense that he can fire lightning, because Force Ghosts are one with the Force, they flow with the flow of nature. We got lore and demonstration of great powers that made the ‘holy shit’ moment of Kylo Ren stopping a blaster shot mid-flow look like novice work. And while we’re talking about ‘holy shit’ moments

You cannot deny that TLJ had some absolutely breathtaking visuals, moments in this film are some of the best moments in Star Wars, a combination of intensity and hype from Luke’s standoff with the First Order to Holdo’s hyperspace ram, Ahch-To’s real-life setting was also beautiful as were the design of Crait from its Icicle foxes to its salt speeders leaving a red path of smoke

This film looks beautiful and the story is multilayered with character development, worldbuilding, good action and gutsy plot twists, you know everything people (rightfully) praise The Mandalorian for. It’s definitely not a film where you’d find yourself bored and when you set aside your fan theories and the illusion that the Original Trilogy was Flawless save for the Death Star plot hole you will find this movie a lot more enjoyable. Now I don’t want people saying it’s a ‘Don’t Question, Consume’ sorta thing, it’s a matter of accepting that there are flaws but not allowing it to ruin the experience, because The Last Jedi embodies a lot of the essence of Star Wars old and new, it is probably the best that the New Trilogy has provided and it is certainly worthy of respect.

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